#it would be more unrealistic if she ends up being super nice and dedicated to Cassandra

[sluttylittlewaste]

I haven't seen any of the FHJY discourse (praise bless), but like....Kristen Applebees is a newly deprogramming baby gay who has died TWICE and very likely just broke up with someone she referred to as "The love of my life," last season. In the real world, that person would spend the next DECADE being the most emotionally unavailable, internally misogynistic, toxic fuckboi dyke you'd ever met. Kristen being a somewhat dismissive gym bro is the good outcome.

[meggtheegg]

evan hansen, sam wilson, & wanda maximov?

ohh man this one's gonna get long so i'll put it under a read more :D

evan:

favorite thing about them

his sincere desire to make sure everyone is okay. half of his problems stem from that one need, but it's ultimately what makes him set things right, too.

least favorite thing about them

there are many obvious character flaws that i could point out, but the most overlooked one is that he goes off his fucking meds without telling anyone that shit is dangerous and should not be treated as anything but that.

favorite line

"dear evan hansen, today is going to be a good day and here's why. because today, no matter what else, today at least you're you. no hiding. no lying. just... you. and that's. that's enough. maybe someday, everything that happened will all feel like a distant memory. maybe someday no one will remember about the connor project. or me. maybe someday, some other kid is going to be standing here, staring out at the trees, feeling so...alone, wondering if maybe the world might look different from all the way up there. better. and maybe he'll start climbing, one branch at a time, and he'll keep going. even when it seems like he can't find another foothold. even when it feels... hopeless. like everything is telling him to let go. this time...maybe this time, he won't let go. he'll just hold on...and keep going. he'll keep going until he sees the sun."

brOTP

evan and zoe should be friends, and even if that's super unrealistic, i will still hold onto that

OTP

evan x going back on his gosh darn meds

nOTP

i've never really seen an evan ship that bothers me, actually

random headcanon

i've said it a million times and i will say it again, this kid has autism, and no one will ever convince me otherwise (side-eyes steven levenson and ben platt)

unpopular opinion

evan is neither a horrible kid or a smol uwu anxious bean. he's a mentally ill teenager, who should be treated with the nuance and understanding that deserves.

also, the kiss at the end of ywbf kills all the emotion and power of the song so quickly, why has it not been taken out yet

song i associate with them

kill the ghost - motherfolk

favorite picture of them

(i am so sorry, i had to share this picture with the world it makes me laugh every time)

sam:

favorite thing about them

what is there not to love about sam wilson, honestly? if i have to pick something, it's probably his adaptability. captain america trolling him on his morning run? okay, let's talk to him about his trauma. he and black widow show up at his door saying everyone's trying to kill them? let them in and make them breakfast, if they eat that kind of thing. being hunted by some masked assassin? time to bring a knife to a gunfight and win, i guess. the masked assassin is cap's best friend? well, time to drop everything and search the world for him and become an avenger. superheroes have to register with the government, now? well, guess it's time to become a fugitive and go on the run for a few years. cap is an old man, half the world has gone on without him for five years, and now he's supposed to be captain america? well, he'll hesitate to take up the mantle, but good for steve. the masked assassin that tried to kill him is part of his found family now? sure, whatever. invite him to the cookout. i think that literally nothing could surprise this man, by now, and he just keeps doing what he feels is right without even stopping to question it.

least favorite thing about them

honestly, i don't even know. some of the stuff he says to bucky feels uncharacteristically unsympathetic, in civil war and the beginning of tfatws, but also like,,,usually he's not wrong, he's just kind of blunt about it??? idk man i love sam wilson.

oh, and i guess the cowl on his cap suit looks kinda dumb and uncomfortable

favorite line

"the only power i have is that i believe we can do better."

that's sam summed up in one line, right there. he's a normal guy surrounded by superheroes and yet he holds his own and stands out because he's so sincere and dedicated and good that it doesn't even matter

brOTP

sam and steve. we should've gotten more of them hanging out, honestly. they were great together.

OTP

sambucky, baybee! for all the reasons i listed in my answer for bucky :)

nOTP

another one i can't think of anything for. i guess sam/tony, if anyone ships that???

random headcanon

sam was actually pretty quiet, as a kid. he kind of let sarah do the talking for him. it wasn't until they got older that he started becoming more talkative and developing his sense of humor

unpopular opinion

sam did make mistakes in tfatws. bucky wasn't the only one to screw up. that was what made their reconciliation so nice. yeah, bucky was being way more of an asshole about the shield than sam was about anything, but that doesn't mean he was perfect 100% of the time, and that's good. that's what makes him human and relatable.

song i associate with them

come on, there's no way i can't say trouble man, here.

favorite picture of them

wanda

favorite thing about them

her gentle kindness. especially in civil war, there's something so soft and genuine about her that's just immediately endearing.

least favorite thing about them

the way that closing scene in wandavision implied she still may become a villain, despite having that option and rejecting it at the cost of her family, earlier that same episode. it just felt...wrong.

favorite line

"i can't control their fear. only my own."

i probably quote this line way too often. it's just....chef's kiss

(honorable mention goes to: "I don't even know who you are." "You will.")

brOTP

i so wish agatha hadn't become a one-dimensional villain in the last episode, because their friendship, however fake, was really sweet.

but also her friendship with the rest of team cap, especially steve, was also really lovely and i wish we could've gotten more of that

OTP

🎶WANDAVISION, WA-WANDAVISION, WANDAVISION WA-WANDAVISION...WANDAVISION!!"🎶

nOTP

wanda/pietro....just...ew....

random headcanon

despite her love for the genre, the two sitcoms she could never watch were alf and gilligan's island. the themes of being trapped somewhere without your family, no matter how funny the circumstances, just hit too close to home.

unpopular opinion

they shouldn't have aged wanda up to match lizzie's actual age. i know it was never officially stated anywhere until wandavision, but in aou and civil war, she was heavily implied to be a teenager, and honestly, that would've made everything about her character both hit harder and make way more sense. she could have been in her late teens-early 20s by the time wandavision rolled around, but having her in her late 20s-early 30s just doesn't fit all the comments about her being a kid/going to high school/etc. making her younger would mean that her decision to join hydra was the misinformed decision of a traumatized teenager, rather than a grown woman, and could have tied into tfatws and karli, which could then expand into an actual examination of why young people are willing to go to such extremes to make change and that could have been really interesting.

song i associate with them

razzmatazz - i don't know how but they found me

favorite picture of them

[dailydoseofcolor]

Taking Stock of Barracks in Fire Emblem Heroes: Part 3, Section 2 (Final)

Okay! So I took a few days off for travel and now want to finish this up. From everything above, I’ve pinpointed the 5* exclusive characters I would love to start getting merges for as well as solidifying who my official potential “projects” are. Now I need to start analyzing my priorities and go from there. The sections will be 5* exclusives that won’t need feathers for merging (barring any unexpected demotes, which is highly unlikely for the majority of these); 3-4* merge potential projects that require orbs, and 3-4* potential projects that require grails. First up, 5* exclusives. 

After going through my barracks, these are the characters I have isolated as ones that I want to work towards getting to +10: 

Micaiah, Mia, Nephenee, Saber, Silque, Myrrh, OG Ephraim, Brave Ike, Y!Marth, Summer Robin, Summer Innes, Halloween L'Arachel 

Now, mama didn’t raise a fool. The vast majority of these are unrealistic, but I can at least use this as a guide for what to save for. So these can be further categorized into three sections: Higher Priority, Realistic Goals, and Pipe Dreams: 

Higher Priority

Micaiah, +5; She just takes the least amount of merges to complete. She regularly appears on banners, and will eventually come as a pity breaker on other banners. 

Mia, +3; She’s my favorite of the fast sword girls. And while she’s slowly getting outclassed in terms of raw speed, she has good balanced defenses and her weapon can still give her a niche. I also wouldn’t be surprised if she lands a resplendent alt at some point.     

Realistic

Nephenee, +2; I’ve thought about it, and I let Nephenee’s -Spd bane distract me from her for too long. She’s at +2 with a Spd boon now, and still holds up stats-wise. Her attack is still a little low, but the armor effectiveness in her weapon more than makes up for that. The problem is that she’s on a banner right now that only lasts today. I can’t +10 her just today, but I need to try for a few merges. 

Saber, +1; I have a major soft spot for Saber. He held my Summoner Support for a long time, and I think he has a very interesting niche in the over-saturated sword market. He’s a long-term plan. 

Silque (Currently Base, could be +2); I love healers, and Silque is my favorite healer from the series as a whole. I haven’t merged her yet because she has a good staff, good special, and Dazzling Staff fodder. But I now realize that I don’t particularly care for Dazzling Staff fodder. That’s added to almost every new healer nowadays, more fodder will come. 

Myrrh, +0; Myrrh is the character I wanted most for so long. The first Manakete/Dragon I ever fell in love with, and she’s relevant again. Problem is, the only one I’ve pulled is +Def/-Atk. Amazing boon, terrible bane. I need merges to erase the bane and start really building her. She’s likely in the Top 5 for priorities.     

Pipe Dream

Ephraim, +0; Unless he demotes, this is a long shot. I’ve only ever pulled one and now I have other infantry lance users that out-compete him. It would be nice, though.

Y!Marth, +1; Y!Marth appearing at the same time as Bramimond really hurt my ability to justify spending for him, and now I kinda regret it. As far as sword infantries go, he’s super flexible and has great stats. His boon is +Atk, so that helps, but when he comes back, I’ll make a play for him. 

Summer Robin, +0 (Will be +1 after Compile Manuals Purchased); My first ever 5* unit! Summer Robin has held a special place in my heart since I first started the game. Back when getting 5* units as a new player was actually rather difficult, I played for about 2 weeks before my first one came up, and it was Summer Robin. She’ll erase her awful -Atk bane with the Compile Manual I’ll get of her, but I’m going to start working on snagging her in the upcoming summer banners.

Summer Innes, +0 (Will be +1 after Compile Manuals Purchased); The first unit I ever spent money to acquire (purchased an orb pack with an old gift card out of desperation). His Bow unit sucks all kinds of ass, and Axe fliers are still one of the rarer categories. He’ll be +1 soon (I love the limited time compile feature, it’s a much better mechanic than the long term compile option), but more merges would make me happy. He’ll be re-run soon. 

Halloween L’Arachel, +0; H! L’Arachel’s art might be one of my absolute favorite in the game. Easily Top 5. Green Cavalry Mages are also almost uniformly bad outside of Gunnthra, who needs a refine to maintain her niche. The only one who might be able to compete is Cecilia, but we’ll see where she truly lands after her eventual refine. Either way, more merges for her would be incredible. Sacred Stones is next up in the Hall of Forms rotation. I don’t expect her to be an option, but she’s on the short list of SS seasonals so…there’s a chance. 

Brave Ike, +2 (Could be +3); His Refine is incredible. He carries hard in AR and makes PvE content trivial. If anything, this is just to keep his stats sharp. This is mostly just an eventual “this would be nice” thing.

Now, if I take everything above and rank it, here’s what I have:

Micaiah

Mia

Myrrh

Nephenee

Saber

Silque

Halloween L'Arachel

Ephraim

Summer Robin

Y!Marth

Summer Innes

Brave Ike

Okay, I’m fine with this. Micaiah and Mia make the most sense, since they’re the closest to being done. Myrrh, Nephenee, Saber, and Silque are all realistic and will be making appearances on banners soon (other than Silque). The rest are just guidelines; although I will be saving for Summer Robin & Summer Innes return next month, and then saving for Halloween L’Arachel at the end of the year.

_____________________________________________

Now it’s time for 3-4* Potential Projects! My first pass yielded three groups: ones I already have the copies to +10, the ones I still need copies for, and Grail units. At this point, I need to diversify my +10 units by movement type, specifically flying and calvary, with an emphasis on Player Phase units, strong Mixed Phase units, and tome users. 

Here’s who I can +10 today if I desired: 

Nino, PP, +5, 100k feathers needed; Benefits from being a favorite character, player phase focused, and a tome user. Slight dock for being infantry. 

OG Eliwood, PP, +2, 160k feathers needed; Eliwood remains the front runner of this group if only because of favoritism. It helps that his Player Phase capabilities are now some of the best in the game when it comes to red sword users. 

Donnel, MP, +2, 160k feathers needed; Again, a strong Mixed Phase character with a new refine, but that pushes him into a Player Phase role. I just can’t swing the idea of building him up for use. 

Matthew, EP, +0, 200k feathers needed; Enemy Phase dagger to compliment Sothe’s Player Phase dagger niche. A favorite character, but shares movement type. Plus he requires a lot of support to really shine. Lower priority. 

Soleil, PP, +0, 200k feathers needed; One of the strongest 3-4* infantry swords. Great attack and good speed, middling defenses that could be patched up with skill investment. She ranks pretty high, but has a high merge cost from my current supplies. 

Ares, EP, +0, 200k feathers needed; Fills a different role than Eliwood, but makes a case given how oppressive Special Spiral + Bonfire can be. Middling priority. 

Est, PP, +0 (No 5*), 220k feathers needed; I love lance fliers and Est is the only one on my short list that isn’t a Grail unit. She’d require some significant investment in terms of resources, but I’ve been thinking of making a dedicated flier team for a while, which she would shine in. 

Titania, Support, +0, 200k feathers needed; I love Tactics teams and almost no one runs it better than Titania. She’d require high investment, but I’ve held onto her for years with the plan to invest, it might be time. 

OG Tharja, PP, +0 (No 5*), 220k feathers needed; I really love red mages. My Lysithea sees very regular use, and Tharja’s potential on a Tactics team would be incredible. She remains a very high potential.

Soren, Support, +0 (No 5*), 220k feathers needed; I also love Chill skills, and Soren is one of only a few characters that can pull Triple Chill. I might build him with Triple Chill to see how he handles before I invest. He’s lower priority right now.

Here’s who I have on my short list for potential projects that I don’t actively have all the merges for yet: 

Rath, PP, +2 (Could be +7, with a +Atk waiting for deliberation); 160k feathers needed; Rath is the closest on this list to having the merges needed. He’s currently at +2, and I only need another 2 in order to be at +10. He will continue to be higher on the list than others, if only because I’m a sucker for calvary bow users. 

Altena, EP, +1, 180k feathers needed; So. Here’s the problem. I love Altena, and she’s likely a Top 5 merge project contender….but I don’t have the merges. She just hasn’t been showing up. She just has to remain on the back burner of priority until I have more merges. I’ll reassess if more start coming along. 

Norne, MP, (Could be +4) (No 5*), 220k feathers needed; Norne checks a lot of boxes for me: Infantry, Great Stats, Mixed Phase potential, Bow User. I still need 6 copies to make her +10, but I need to start investing in her now. I know she sits in the exact same space that Altena does, but even having a few more merges changes the calculus. The major major problem is that none of the 5* units I’ve decided are priorities are colorless except for Silque. So the likelihood that she turns up on pulls is less likely. But I think my heart doesn’t really care. 

Tethys, Support, (Could be +5, No 5*), 220k feathers needed; Tethys makes this list due to her Support potential. Colorless infantry dagger is mostly filled for me, but she sticks out in my mind. I might just build her low at first to see how I like her, similar to Soren.

I’ve been avoiding this for a long time. I never spend grails because I’m worried the perfect Grail Unit will come along and it’s blinded me to the number of amazing Grail Units that have already come along, and some of these Grails are starting to burn a hole in my pocket. Now it’s time: 

Astram, PP/Support, +2, 160k feathers, 2200 grails; I’ve been using Astram in Arena this past week and I’ve really changed my mind about him. His performance is very solid, and he handles a ton of things on his own. He also slots into the mercenary/knight side of sword user instead of myrmidon, which I’ve always preferred. Great PRF, good stat totals; this is biased because Arena bonus unit buffs are one hell of a drug. He’s back in the running. 

Joshua, MP, +2, 160k feathers, 2600 grails; Making a completely flip-flopped statement from earlier, since Joshua is on the myrmidon side of sword users, but Joshua’s always been a favorite of mine, and I stupidly used one way back for Windsweep on Sothe…of all things. He’s in line for a weapon refine soon, and depending on how they treat it, could launch him into contention again. He remains a strong front runner. Also, there’s a strong chance he’ll be the Grail option in the upcoming SS Hall of Forms. I would love if it’s either him, Lyon, or Valter; that would be incredible. 

Black Knight, MP, +2, 160k feathers, 2200 grails; Obviously TT/GHB were originally conceived of to give us fun side characters and villains, and the Black Knight remains near the top. I don’t usually use Armor units, but he’d hold his own very well, especially considering the number of Fighter skills that exist. 

Fallen Ashnard, EP/MP, (Could be +2, No 5*), 180k feathers, 2200 grails; The main thing going against Fallen Ashnard right now is how new he is. So his investment will remain high for a while. But it’s hard to ignore how well his stats turned out. Great villain from my favorite series and it’s hard to not be drawn to him. Plus sword fliers are either 5* forever locked or like…Palla (aka Moonbow fodder). He’s got a great niche. 

Valter, PP, (Could be +4), 120k feathers, 1650 grails; Another favorite villain from a favorite series in a unit type that is treated poorly by IS. His speed doesn’t hold up, unfortunately, but he’s very likely due for a refine soon, and he could be a part of the upcoming Hall of Forms. He’s higher on the priority list because of his status as a favorite unit, but I should honestly wait for the refine to decide. 

Cormag, PP, (Could be +2, No 5*), 180k feathers, 2200 grails; The second in a run of lance fliers with generic stats that seemed to last for several months. Cormag has such an interesting character arc in his game, and it’s a shame the way he was treated. To that end, he has a workable stat spread (I just wish his Res was higher). He ranks high on characters I like, which is why he’s on the list to begin with. 

Conrad, EP, (Could be +2, No 5*), 180k feathers, 2200 grails; Conrad is on this list because of a person on my friends list who has a +10 Conrad with Distant Counter and…this boy puts in work. I love bulky units, and bulky cavalry units are few and far between. The only other Lance Calvary units that see use in my barracks are Legendary Ephraim and Dimitri, so he’d be filling a good niche in my barracks. His cost just remains really high for a character that I’m not in love with. 

Death Knight, EP (Could be +3, No 5*), 160k feathers, 1750 grails; Decent villain from the most recent game with an intriguing PRF. It’s not quite as evergreen as I’d hoped, but I’ve encountered +10 Death Knights in various modes and they certainly hold their own. Less of a cost than Conrad with slightly less bulk, an interesting trade off. 

Young Minerva, EP, +1, 180k feathers, 2700 grails; When Young Minerva first debuted, I was almost positive that she would be my first Grail +10. Now that she’s available, I’m hesitating. I have a strong Axe user already, just not one that flies. She’s got great speed, defense, and attack, and she’d see a lot of use. I just have to decide whether I want her more than I maybe need someone else. 

Winter Jaffar, MP, (Could be +1), 180k feathers, 2700 grails; Great art as a unit, I just don’t care for Armors usually. Being a green dagger hurts him a good amount, as does the really high cost. I might just wait a bit for him, but I’m sure he’ll be outclassed in a few months anyway. 

Lyon, EP, +7, 60k feathers, 750 grails; My pride and joy for a long, long time. I’m waiting to finish him off until he gets a refine, so I know which way to invest. I also love his recent alt, which has helped fill the void that my original left as he started to fall behind other units (especially Sophia, who has stomped all over him at this point). 

Arvis, PP/Support, (Could be +3), 140k feathers, 1750 grails; One of the first red tome users I fell in love with, if only because of his decent stat spread and unique skill. I killed one way back for Ploy fodder, so his cost remains high, but maybe we’ll get some kind of rerun in the future. 

Brunnya, EP/Support, (Could be +1), 180k feathers, 2700 grails; My AR defense was recently stomped by a Brunnya and it made me look at her in a different light. As an infantry blue tome, she’s got some competition, but she is surprisingly bulky because of her tome. I am quite intrigued by her.

__________________________________________________

Based on my analysis above, here’s where I’m coming down in terms of a road map. Everyone else isn’t necessarily out of the running, but this focuses on my direct needs for strong Player Phase / Mixed Phase units and puts my resources to best use: 

Immediate Use: OG Eliwood, Soleil, Est, Norne, Fallen Ashnard, OG Tharja    

OG Eliwood will get the bump first because he fills the most immediate niche and already has some investment made into him. I’ll also dedicate resources to Norne and Fallen Ashnard, since they still need time to develop but are high on my list. I also feels like I’m now making Fallen Ashnard the focus of my grails, for when he comes out in two months, we’ll see if someone overtakes him before then (likely one of the SS boys). I’ll upgrade Est and OG Tharja to test out how they perform before committing. Depending on how Est does, she’ll likely get a bump with Soleil.

Eventual Niche: Titania, Young Minerva, Brunnya    

Of these, Titania is the most likely to get the bump, as she’s a favorite and would serve as a solid support unit. Young Minerva functions well at +1 and doesn’t need as much investment as others in order to perform. Brunnya will be leveled up and tested to see if she’s worth the investment.

Build Now and Wait: Rath, Altena   

I’m pausing raising up Rath for now, I’ll wait until I have enough copies to fully +10 him. I love his character, but he will almost certainly stay PvE, and his current build shines there. Altena will get further looks after I get more copies.

Determine after Refines: Joshua, Valter, Lyon   

I really need to watch and wait for my three Sacred Stones boys. I love all three and would dedicate resources to them, but I need to wait and see what their eventual refines bring to the table. I have the highest hopes for Lyon, since he’s proven to be popular, and they gave Sophia of all people a new life, he deserves it. Valter will likely get some extra stats and potentially Panic built into his weapon (even though he doesn’t have the HP to utilize it as much). Joshua will get some kind of refine that doubles down on his decent Resistance. Conditional DC like Saber/Say’ri would be incredible, but I’m not holding my breath. This also gives me time to continue to deliberate on who I want to spend Grails on.

I’m…..done? No, I’m not done. But this is the closest I’ve had to a game plan for this game beyond “oo! Shiny new units!,” so I’m really proud of myself. Time to spend some resources! 

[streamacademe]

Week 110, Day 765.

It has been a manic week, hence the delay in my blog post. My trip to Scotland was totally worth it as I finally managed to collect more service reservoir material, which is now on its way to the US to undergo a variety of analyses in a weeks time or so! I spent approximately 60% of the weekend sleeping, which I’m super grateful to myself for as the last three days I have been doing lab work, data analysis, sample shipment arrangement, preparing for my trip to the US, and answering questions as a panellist on a Chinese online community network called ScienceNet. The latter involved myself and five other volunteers answering questions from whoever wanted to write in (mostly undergraduate and graduate students) on research career related topics. I thought that it would be useful to share the questions I was asked (in bold) and my answers (in italics) on here. I have had some brilliant and heart-warming feedback from ScienceNet, so I hope you also find them useful.

Q1. Do you think female PhD students face different stressors as compared to their male counterparts?

I think that both male and female PhD students face the same stressors in terms of workload. However, I also think that female PhD students face EXTRA stressors. These include sexism in the workplace, which unfortunately still exists, and especially sexism if your PhD involves manual labour. For example, as an engineer, I have a lot of fieldwork with contractors and I am usually treated differently as a woman in that the men on site tend to think of me as someone more fragile and in need of assistance. It can be very frustrating. I have also been in situations where there are no female bathrooms at some of the sites I’ve visited, for example at water treatment works. It is also more difficult for women to get the appropriate protective wear e.g. hard hats, high visibility jackets, steel toecap boots etc. in their size.

I also believe that women are expected to dress well and look nice at all times and especially at work related events. There is a lot less pressure on men to do this. Furthermore, it is not taken into consideration how hard work can be for a woman when she is on her period, especially for those who suffer from conditions such as endometriosis. I think that the world is changing for the better in terms of gender equality. However, we are not there yet and so it is very important to always tell someone if you feel like you are being treated unfairly and express your concerns to a staff member you trust or a student support officer. Just don’t suffer in silence.

Q2. As a PhD student, how did you manage to balance your study and personal life?

This can be very hard to do, and even if you do find a balance, it is difficult and unrealistic to maintain it at all times. However, one of the biggest lessons I quickly learned is how important self-care is. A PhD requires a lot of brainwork and can be really damaging on you mental and physical health if you push yourself too hard, which in turn will negatively affect the quality of your work. If you practice self-care, a balance between your personal and work life will naturally follow. Therefore, here are some of the ways in which I personally do this:

Spend time with animals and in nature - Honestly, if I had to choose just one bit of advice, it would be this. Animals are the definition of joy, and being in nature always reminds me how beautiful the world can be.

Sleep - Getting enough sleep makes my anxiety more manageable, my mood better, and means I have more energy to deal with what life has to throw at me. Don’t listen to how much sleep you “should” have, instead listen to your body and work with it. Personally, I aim for at least 8 hours a night.

Routine - Something that can be tough to do because a lot of PhDs do not follow a specific schedule, but trying my best to stick to a routine makes me feel calm and prepared for what’s ahead. It also means that when it comes to taking rest days, I can take full use of them.

Read - I use books as a form of escape from reality, typically reading either before bed or in the morning before work. It helps take my mind off the stresses that clutter my brain.

Exercise, eat healthy, and drink plenty of water - I know you’ve heard it all before, but here it is again. It works.

Focus on genuine priorities - Procrastination/dedicating your time to non-essential tasks are your no.1 enemies. PhD’s are extremely unpredictable and you have to try and be ahead of the game or you risk falling too far behind. So make sure you know exactly what your priorities are and treat them as such.

You have to learn to say ‘no’ - This will probably be something you’re not used to or are comfortable doing, but I have learned from personal experience that this is literally the most important thing when it comes to  looking after yourself and avoiding burnout.

Remember that your PhD is your work not your life - As hard as that may be.

Q3. The PhD program in China usually lasts four years (but many students spend longer than this to get their degree). Is the situation different from this in Western countries? Do you have any advice for PhD students on what career choices they should make when they’re no longer “young” upon graduation?

The situation is different in the UK, but very similar in the US. In the UK, a PhD usually lasts 3 years, but a student may complete it (with or without funding) in 3.5 years. Sometimes, there are exceptions, for example, some PhD’s can be completed in 5 years, but this is VERY rare, with funding usually capped at the latest at 4 years. Career choices are very personal, so I cannot advise on that. I will however say that age is not a reflection of ones abilities. I think the biggest decision that a PhD student needs to make early on is whether they want to stay in academia or go into industry. This will change the trajectory of their PhD, for example, if they don’t want to stay in academia, there is less pressure to publish papers etc. but a higher requirement to have some work experience in industry.

Q4. What if my research topic diverges from my supervisor?

This shouldn’t happen as your supervisor is on that project because the topic of your PhD is what they specialise in. However, differences can arise in how research questions are approached e.g., your supervisor may feel you should do one type of experiment and you may disagree. To overcome this, talk to your supervisor about your concerns and provide evidence to back up your points.

Q5. Is it a big burden for PhD students in the United States to afford the tuition? I’ve heard that supervisors may pay part of the tuition or even daily expenses. Is that true?

I am not personally from the US, but do know a little bit about how their system works. Usually a PhD supervisor covers tuition costs, which are approximately $15,000 per year. The student is also provided with a stipend to live on, which is between $22,000 - $30,000 (for the duration of the PhD) depending on the institution. Some PhDs are self-funded, but most follow the structure mentioned above. A lot of PhD students will pick up tuition style work to earn some extra cash.

Q6. When doing a PhD is western countries, do you have any suggestions for choosing schools and supervisors? Any advice on something we should be careful with when contacting supervisors for the first time? Are there any qualities and traits of candidates that supervisors may prefer?

I would choose a university that specialises in your field and is ranked in the top 100 universities for that country. For me, as I do a research based PhD, it was important that my chosen university was part of a Russel Group.

It is hard to predict what a potential supervisor will be like, but it may be helpful to contact some of the students that are already supervised by that person to get an idea of what it is like to work with them. It is also helpful to read some of their published work.

When contacting supervisors for the first time make sure that you have very good grammar and keep your email/letter short as they are very busy people and are unlikely to read long pieces of text.

A supervisor needs to know that you can handle yourself in difficult situations, are reliable, punctual, hardworking, and in some way unique. You also have to show how passionate you are about the research you want to do and why.

Q7. What factors need to be taken into consideration when choosing your destination countries to do a PhD?

It is difficult for me to answer this question as I stayed in my home country for my PhD, but I guess it depends on how far you are willing to step outside of your comfort zone. It is very easy to feel isolated in a new country, especially if you do not know the language of that country well. If having a community of people from your home country is important to you, make sure you research this before choosing where you want to go.

Q8. If my goal is to publish papers in top journals and get real world experience, do you have any tips for me on choosing supervisors?

At the end of the day, you will be the one writing your research paper, so I do not think your choice of supervisor is too important here. It helps if your supervisor has published plenty of papers in respected journals, but it is more important that your supervisor can find the time to review your work and advise you on how to improve, rather than being super famous.

Q9. Any suggestions on improving the efficiency of your research?

Focus on genuine priorities - Procrastination/dedicating your time to non-essential tasks are your no.1 enemies. PhD’s are extremely unpredictable and you have to try and be ahead of the game or you risk falling too far behind. So make sure you know exactly what your priorities are and treat them as such.

To do lists and GANTT charts are lifesavers – On difficult days, refer to these to reorient yourself and stay on track. Make sure they are always up to date, kept neat, and, most importantly, realistic.

Find a balance between feeling terrified and apathetic, and stupid and self-assured - PhD’s are terrifying, which I appreciate can be exhausting and can lead to feeling apathetic. However, apathy is both a blessing and a curse. It may make you feel calmer and more able, but it will not motivate you to try harder and do better. The same applies for feeling self-assured; yes, you are clearly clever for getting this far and you should acknowledge and celebrate that, but feeling stupid pushes us to seek knowledge, which is what science is all about.

Rely on your supervisors for help - THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. You DO NOT have to do everything alone. Ask questions, talk to them about your problems, and seek their advice. If they make you feel inferior, uncomfortable, stupid, or make themselves unavailable to you, contact your student support office/r, because a supervisor should NEVER do that. Furthermore, don’t be afraid to voice your opinions and stand your ground with your superiors, they are only human, just like you, and if you feel like they are misguiding or misunderstanding you, tell them. This is your PhD, not anybody else’s.

Q10. I’ve heard that the PhD tuition is very expensive in western countries. Is it common that PhD students do part-time jobs to make ends meet?

I can only speak for the UK, and in the UK, this is not true. Yes, tuition costs are high but these are typically covered by a scholarship or something alike. PhD students are paid enough to live relatively comfortably. However, most PhD students will pick up some extra work within the university e.g. tuition to get some bonus cash; this is personal preference. It also depends on the location of your university, for example, studying and living in London is much more expensive than some other places in the UK.

Q11. Do all universities in the US cover tuition? How can I find out these details? What happens if I don't get university funding? Are there other options for me?

I am not from the US, so I cannot say for sure, but I do know a little bit about how their system works in general. Usually a PhD supervisor covers tuition costs, which are approximately $15,000 per year. The student is also provided with a stipend to live on, which is between $22,000 - $30,000 depending on the institution. Some PhDs are self-funded, but most follow the structure mentioned above.

To find out exact details for your university of interest, contact the university directly. I do not know about alternative options other than there may be some scholarships that you can apply for, but these are usually highly competitive.

Q12. Can you please evaluate the influence of your senior fellow students on you during your doctoral study?

It has been helpful to see senior fellow students progress through their PhDs and share their experiences and the lessons they have learned. They also tend to be more clued up on the way things work at your institution etc., which is helpful. However, because PhDs are so unique and every students approach to their PhD is different, it is very hard to be influenced much by others doing something completely different.

Q13. What was the difference between the focus/weightage on dissertations and papers when you did your PhD?  

You do not do dissertations as a PhD student in the UK, just your thesis. However, there are two main types of thesis style, you can do either a classic thesis or thesis by papers, if it is the latter then you have to write and publish a lot more papers than the former.

Q14. If you could go back to when you started your PhD, what advice would you give yourself?

Do little things before they become too hard.

Write as much as you can as early as you can.

Focus on genuine priorities.

Practice self-care.

Q15. How should one deal with the relationship with one’s supervisors? Do PhD students in your country have a specific way of managing this relationship?

Supervisors are only human, just like you, and so they can be very different people. Some prefer a stricter, professional relationship, but from my experience, most are happy to go out for coffee with you and have a less formal rapport.

Your supervisor will be your no.1 support system throughout your PhD, so learn what they are like, find common ground, and do not be afraid to have a professional friendship with them. Your supervisor is there to help carry you through the tough phases, make sure they like you.

However, remember, if they make you feel inferior, uncomfortable, stupid, or make themselves unavailable to you, contact your student support office/r, because a supervisor should NEVER do that.

Q16. Would you let your children do a PhD in the future? Especially if they are girls?

I would let my children follow whatever career path they wanted to choose and I see absolutely no reason why women (not girls) should be advised against doing a PhD.

Q17. Why do so many postgraduate students’ superiors want them to go onto do a PhD?

I do not know if this is necessarily true in the UK. A student is only advised to do a PhD if their lecturers/supervisors/senior researchers believe that they have great potential to complete a PhD, especially if they supervised them during a Masters research project. However, in the UK students are not pushed to do something they are not interested in doing.

Q18. In China, PhD students are required to publish SCI papers before graduation. Is it the same situation in your country? Or do you have any other requirements?

No, you do not have to publish SCI papers before graduation in the UK, although it is preferable if you can. There are no other requirements of this kind that I am aware of.

Q19. I did a Master of Arts degree in China, and then studied English in the US for a year. I want to do a PhD abroad in the future, but haven't figured out what to study. Would it be possible for you to give me some advice on this matter?

Only choose a discipline that you know you are passionate about as PhD’s are tough and it is easy to lose love for your project. Also think about what you’re good at, for example, I like physics, but I would struggle to do a PhD in that discipline. Aside from that, I cannot advise as choosing a career is very personal.

Q20. What would you consider as “hot” subject areas for PhD programs in your country? (please specify country)

There is no such thing really in the UK. I guess any of the STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics) degrees are quite popular, and medicine.

Q21. I find that I always end up procrastinating while doing research. What should I do? Are there any good suggestions for improvement? I feel that the pressure is immense.

Trust me; everybody struggles with procrastination in one way or another. However, my best bit of advice is to treat your research like a job, which to be honest, it is. You wouldn’t procrastinate at work, would you?

Furthermore, try your best to separate work and social life. For instance, I try hard not to not work on weekends because that way I feel refreshed and motivated to get back to work on Monday.

You can also create a reward system for yourself, for example, if you work 8 hours a day Monday-Friday you can buy yourself a small present, or if you finish an essay, you can treat yourself to an extra day off, that sort of thing.

I appreciate that the pressure of doing research is really high, but the more you delay a task and the more you procrastinate, the worse it will get.  

Q22. If there is an academic dispute with the supervisor or if the supervisor is not happy with the student’s working progress, does the supervisor have the right to suspend the student’s living expenses or send him/her home?

Absolutely not. If your supervisor makes you feel inferior, uncomfortable, stupid, or makes themselves unavailable to you, contact your student support office/r, because a supervisor should NEVER do that. The only time you can be suspended from your PhD is if you fail to meet certain requirements set by the University itself, NOT the supervisor.

Q23. When applying to a PhD program, would you prefer a  university with a good reputation, e.g. ranking 200-500 globally, or would you consider the supervisors’ experience and research in the industry as more important?

I would consider the research topic as a priority, because it is very easy to lose passion for your PhD and want to quit when things get tough, but if you believe in the value of the research that you’re doing, it is easier to get through those difficult periods.

Following this, I would consider the University, simply because it is a lot easier to find out what the reputation of an institution is like, compared to a specific supervisor. Furthermore, supervisors may change throughout the course of your PhD.

Q24. I don't know why my supervisor keeps persuading me to study for a PhD degree. I personally prefer to start working after finishing my Master's degree. Should I refuse my supervisor even though he is insisting?

You should definitely refuse to do a PhD if it is not something that you want to do.

Q25. What do you think is the most important quality you need for being a PhD?

There are many. However, if I had to choose one, you have to be excellent at self-motivation and time-management.

Q26. When the research topic is finalized, how to design the research?

Read  literature from the field of study, converse with your supervisors, and just start. There is never a perfect plan for how to do research, it is all about trial and error.

Q27. PHD students are invited to dinner by their tutors in China. It's said that in foreign countries, they usually go dutch between PhD students and tutors in such a situation. And that graduate students have to attend a tutor's dinner at their own expense. Is that so?

No, this is not the case in the UK. Here, supervisors or your project budget should cover the costs of such meals/events.

Q28. Is it true that PhD students must follow the supervisor’s instruction exactly? If the process does not work out well, the supervisor can suspend the student’s scholarship?

Absolutely not. If your supervisor makes you feel inferior, uncomfortable, stupid, or makes themselves unavailable to you, contact your student support office/r, because a supervisor should NEVER do that. Furthermore, don’t be afraid to voice your opinions and stand your ground with your superiors, they are only human, just like you, and if you feel like they are misguiding or misunderstanding you, tell them. This is your PhD, not anybody else’s.

The only time a student can be suspended from their PhD is if they fail to meet certain requirements set by the University itself, NOT the supervisor.

Q29. I am doing doctoral joint training in the UK, and I plan to return to China next year after graduation. What do you think would be a better choice? Hunting for a job after I get the PhD or the continuation of overseas postgraduates studies?

Unfortunately, I cannot answer this question as the choice of any future career decisions should be your own.

Q30. For subjects like branding, public relations, is it necessary to study for a PhD degree in foreign countries?

As someone whose career is not related to any of these fields, I cannot answer this question. Your best bet is to contact companies/institutions in this field directly.

That is all for this week folks! Have a spooktacular Halloween! 👻

Photo: You’re welcome. Source: Pinterest.

[mysticsituations]

Ola :) can I request some hc for the RFA reacting to a mc who was working really hard to get a promotion, to the point of exhaustion even, but in the end one of their colleagues, who didn't put half as much effort in it got the promotion, please? :3

Yay my first request!

You had been working at your job for 3 years. It was well past time for you to get a promotion in your opinion, and a spot just opened in an upper level position with a pay raise! In order to stand out, you took on extra projects and double-or-triple checked all your stuff, so you ended up pulling multiple all nighters in a row. When the day came to announce the new promotion, you wore your best outfit and held your head high. The boss then walked straight past you and shook the hand of your office mate, a known slacker and real piece of work. The worker shook the boss’s hand and made a comment about how hard work really pays off. You held it together until you made it home, where you closed the door to your apartment and bounced your head against the door as you tried to hold the tears in.

Yoosung:

-He had prepared a nice meal to celebrate your promotion.

-he knew you had been working non-stop, and he had more than often found you working even after he was done playing LOLOL.

-not to mention he was feeling a little neglected as you worked nonstop, but he had swallowed it down and smothered you in as much care as he could.

-He was super worried about you, and he was so happy it was about to be over and all your hard work was about to pay off.

-when you walked in the door he had just finished putting the food on the table, and he ran to see you when he saw you banging your head.

-”MC? MC what’s wrong?”

-”They gave it to my office mate.”

-Yoosung looked like a fish with his mouth hanging open like that. He knew your office mate. That person was a slacker- even Yoosung knew that. 

-To be honest, he was pissed. Yoosung knew how hard you worked and how deserving you were of that position. He had some unrealistic hope that people who worked hard automatically got the best job and the best pay- at least that’s what they taught at school. Jaehee had told him that simply having good grades doesn’t guarantee anything, but it really didn’t sink in how unfair the corporate world was until now.

-However, he knew you needed support. If there is one thing he has learned from you, its that simply being hateful and resentful doesn’t get anything done.

-”MC… I’m so sorry this happened to you. Do you want to talk about it?”

-You shook your head.

-”How about we eat this food, and then we can watch a movie? A movie with stupid bosses who get what they deserve!”

-you laugh and take his hand as he leads you to the delicious food, and as you take the first bite you realize no matter how hard your job is, Yoosung is always your rock. With him by your side, you will always have a supporter who appreciates your hard work. You do the best to return the favor and give him a lot of attention since you’ve been neglecting him for work recently.

Zen:

-Boy oh boy was Zen READY for you to get this promotion

-Between you working for your promotion and him working on his latest show, You guys barely saw each other.

-His show had come out last weekend, and you were only able to come to opening night, although you did go all out and get him roses and totally took the evening off for him.

-He offered to take you to the cast party, and you had declined, saying you needed to work on something again. He was disappointed, but after all you had sacraficed for him, he figured it was the least he could do to support your career as well.

-He had felt guilty when he came home from the cast party at 2 AM and you were still wide awake, papers strewn across the room and dark circles under your eyes.

-When you had left this morning in your best outfit ready to take on the day, he told you to take a selfie and send it to him when you got your promotion.

-As the day went on with no selfie, he started getting nervous. You had probably just forgotten, but he had a bad feeling.

-That feeling was confirmed when you came home and banged your head on the door.

-”Babe… Please don’t hurt that beautiful head of yours…” He said softly, reaching behind you and turning you to his chest.

-When you mumbled that your office mate got it, he was furious. That person definitely didn’t deserve it!

-He scowled at the thought of how big wigs like your boss didn’t understand the hard work you put in- just like that trust fund jerk, they didn’t understand a hard working person and how much they deserve to be recognized.

- He dropped a kiss to your head and started swaying back and forth, singing a song from his recent muscial.

-When you didn’t seem to be following, he switched to your favorite song.

-”Dance with me, babe. We can look at the stars and pretend this day never happend.”-Later that night he distracted you with his body if you know what I mean huehuehue ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Jaehee

(this one is you trying to switch to a part time position while you are getting ready to open your cafe. You thought you could handle having both jobs until the cafe got more money.)

- You had been working super hard at your job recently, and Jaehee was worried.

-As someone who often overworked herself, she knew what it looked like, and you were overworked.

-Personally she didn’t like your job at all. The end goal for both of you was to work full time at the cafe and leave your job, but with her handling a lot of the finances and records for getting the cafe open, you were the only one making money at the moment.

- You needed to get switched to a part time position now, but your job had limited availability for those jobs, and you needed to prove yourself in a different expertise to get it.

-It wasn’t something you were necessarily good at, so it took a lot of work to do. Not to mention you were trying to run the cafe stuff as well.

-You were totally swamped, and you didn’t do much to ease Jaehee’s concerns.

-”This is just temporary, Jaehee. Once I get this done, everything will be smooth sailing!”

-She smiled at your enthusiasm, and tried to tend to you as much as you would let her. She even helped you sometimes with your tasks if she finished early.

-The day came, and she made you a special latte art of a star in your morning coffee, telling you that you were a star no matter what happened today.

-Well the worst happend.

-When she saw you enter the door and beat your head, she knew what happened.

-She had felt that feeling herself.

- “Oh, MC…” She said softly.

-Jaehee wasn’t much of a touchy person, but she knew you needed a hug right now.

-She wrapped you up in her arms, and felt your tears on her shoulder.

-”MC, I will repeat the words that you said to me earlier this week. All of this is temporary. Soon, we will have this cafe up and running, and you will not need your strenuous job.”

- When you told her that your office mate got the position, she straightened her back a bit and squished up her nose in disgust.

-”I rememeber how it felt to be overlooked for an employee with less drive and ambition… I know how angry and distraught I felt when employers didn’t respect all I had done for them, especially Mr. Han… But Love, this is truly just a stepping stone. Your true dream job is here, with me. In our lovely cafe that you have blessed me with. Please, don’t forget our dream is here… and My dream will always be with you.”

-At this point you melted. Jaehee was always so good with words. You smiled up at her and kissed her on the cheek.

-’Thanks, Jaehee… could we watch some of Zen’s musicals now? I think that would make me feel better.”

-Jaehee smiled brightly and you too spent a beautiful night watching Zen and complaining about stupid jobs and how excited you were to open a cafe together.

Jumin

-You had insisted on keeping your job even after you were married. You said you didn’t like being cooped up in the penthouse all day, and you had fun at your job.

-Jumin was happy you liked what you did, and he tried to be supportive even though he really wished you could live in total luxury without the need to work, but he loved your hardworking attitude.

-When you came to him a few weeks ago speaking of a promotion that became available, he thought it was only right that you get it, as he could see how talented and dedicated you were to your job. You were the kind of person he wanted at C&R and any good boss would appreciate you.

-Little did he know you did not have a boss that was very good at recognizing potential.

-When he started coming home to see you swamped in work, he offered to help, but you insisted you could do it yourself, and you didn’t want to make him work after he had just come home.

-After a few all nighters, he asked again if he could help, or even hire you an assistant, but you insisted you were fine.

-When he came home after a long night at the office to find you asleep on the living room floor surrounded by paper, he had had enough and put you in bed for the night. You had freaked out the next morning about how you didn’t have time to spare for a night of sleep like that, and Jumin had to lightly scold you for not taking care of yourself.

-”My love, I need you to take care of yourself. You are so precious to me, and no job was ever completed by working yourself into the ground. A night’s rest will do you well.”

- He was right of course, and you did a lot better now that you were rested.

-When you left for your job that day, Jumin had had the chef prepare a well-balanced breakfast for you. He kissed you as you left the penthouse, and decided he would come home early so he could celebrate with you.

-He put on a slightly nicer suit than he regularly wore and had the chef make sashimi and wine for you to dine on in celebration.

-When he saw you dejectedly enter the penthouse though, he rushed to your side.

-”My dear, what is wrong?”

-”They gave it to my office mate- you know, the slacker? He made a speech about how ‘hard work really pays off~’”

-Jumin turned you towards him and brushed his fingers through your hair.

-”My love I am so sorry. Who do I need to call to make this right? I know you deserve more than this- and I will do everything I can to make it so.”

-You sniffled and laughed at his intense desire to help.

-”It’s okay Jumin... I don’t need the promotion anyways I guess... I just really wanted my hard work to be recognized...”

- Jumin stared into your eyes for a moment before smirking a playful smile.

-”You want to be acknowledged, you say? My dear, I can acknowledge you as long as you want.”

- He kissed at your cheek, your eyes, and the side of your lips, speaking of all the wonderful ways you make him a better man and acknowledging all you do for him, before passionately kissing you and lifting you into his arms.

-He brought you to the bedroom and ‘acknowledged’ you all night long and pampered you the whole next day as he called into work and got you the day off.

Seven:

-Again, with Saeyoung it wasn’t really about the money but just the acknowledgement that you wanted the promotion.

-You were in your dream field and were about to be promoted to a higher position so that you could do more of what you liked.

- Saeyoung was starting to understand the miracle of having a dream job now that he was building all these toys in his free time and opening a shop to sell them. He wanted you to enjoy your job too.

-When you started to pull all nighters, he was probably the most worried. He knew just how bad it was to mess up your sleep schedule and to work through meals. You had been the person who had stuck with him through his job, and he knew he owed you the same courtesy, but he honestly wasn’t sure he could handle all the worry he had as he watched you slave away at your work at 4 AM.

-So was it really that bad that he had slipped some sleep aid pill into your drink after your fourth all nighter? Probably, especially considering how panicked you had been when you woke up 14 hours later. You guessed it was him who did it, and you had ignored him all day out of spite.

-Now he knew how it felt to be ignored, and it made him all the more mad at himself for doing this to you when he first met you.

-That night you apologized to him with a bag of HBC that you had been saving to get him to eat better, and he told you he was sorry for drugging you. He had just been worried.

-You sighed and kissed him as you told him you forgave him.

-A few days later you left for work in your best clothes, and he had cheered for you all the way out the door.

-He had been working on a toy all day while waiting for your arrival back home, and he had even put on some nice clothes himself to take you out for dinner and a ride. He usually had date nights at home, but you deserved a special night tonight!

-However, when you came home and hit your head against the door, he sprung into action.

- “Hey, hey! Who dares to beat the head of my beautiful fiancee?”

- “A loser who didn’t get a promotion.”

- Saeyoung frowned at this.

- “Baby, you are not a loser. You worked really hard- I’m sure they just don’t realize how good you are!”

- “Yeah, obviously. They chose my office mate.”

-That stunned Saeyoung. He knew your office mate from when he visited you at work. He was constantly looking up videos and talking on tripter whenever he was there, and you constantly complained how you always ended up picking up his slack.

-”MC...”

-”I just... I want to pig out and pretend this day never happened.”

-Saeyoung pulled you into his arms and kissed your head.

-”Now that, we can do.”

-You both went to your room and put on your comfiest pjs, ordered fried wings and all other kinds of shit to eat, and pigged out in the living room while watching your favorite kdrama.

-At some point he pulled you close to him and looked into your eyes with his soul pouring into you, and he whispered into your ear “I don’t care if those idiots at your job don’t see how special you are... You will always be loved and appreciated by me.”

-He got a big kiss for that one.

- The next day your boss had stripped the promotion from your office mate when his computer history and time spent goofing off had been brought to his attention, and you were given the promotion instead! Saeyoung swears it wasn’t him.

[hopevalley]

Hi everyone! I hope you’re ready for another Tumblr Special™.

Let’s talk about some stuff that’s been on my mind lately.

I’ve been working on my pet project, When Calls the Heart: Reimagined, and my bud @trash-god has assured me that the current first draft isn’t complete garbage, but the discussion we had eventually led to talking about Mark Humphrey and then character-related stuff and as usual I couldn’t shut up.

Before that, I just wanted to drop the update about Reimagined. I don’t know if that’ll be its actual title or not. It’s hard to title a novelization. On one hand you have the option to title it the same as the show, but it’s not the show, so then you’re kind of stuck feeling like you have to come up with something at least slightly different, but it’s still also technically fanfic, and—

Yeah. There’s also the potential for something like this to really blow up in a big way, at least word-wise, so that makes a title even more important. I’ll definitely be out there barking my wares like a peddler on the street, but like...here on Tumblr and especially on Instagram where there are a ton of fans. Twitter too, probably. Considering I have to type this five billion times across social media to try and garner some attention (and hopefully feedback) for it, I’d rather not be embarrassed by the title, or turn people away from it because they think it’s a regular fanfic and not a novelization of the show.

Which leaves me with very few options.

When Calls the Heart: The Novelization

When Calls the Heart: Reimagined

Some other title with a subtitle of “A When Calls the Heart Novelization”

It sounds simple but it’s not. “The Novelization” makes it sound like it’s following the show super precisely. “Reimagined” makes it sound as if it deviates in a big way. Something else could just be too much to type but at least it implies it’s an interpretation. What if this ends up getting absolutely huge and needs to be split up into parts, though? That makes it more difficult.

I’m getting ahead of myself. I’ve made it about five minutes into the first episode, time-wise, and have four thousand some odd words. It’s not even a complete chapter—more like an introduction and the beginning of the first chapter.

But something I noticed in those first five minutes of the television series is that...everything is so incredibly rushed. The pacing is awful. I think I might have talked about this a bit in my ‘episode write-up’ of the first episode, but even though it works well enough for this series (especially considering its S1 budget and everything) it would all be terrible for a narrative choice.

I mean, sure, the first chapter could start with Elizabeth on her journey thinkin’ ‘bout where she’s going, ruminating on her own hubris, and then BANDITS. Cut out and back in to her arriving in town without much of an explanation or showing how she personally handled the whole bandit thing. Then have Abigail, Cat, and Florence steamroll the heck out of her while the narrative laughs at rich, silly Elizabeth who isn’t afraid of hard work but is scared of a mouse.

But that isn’t what I want. Elizabeth as a character, especially the introductory character we’re going to get to know and love over the course of hundreds of thousands of words (in theory, of course), deserves better than that. The narrative cluster from the TV show served its purpose; it flung us right into the thick of things. Which is fine for TV and less fine for what would essentially be a book.

Again, don’t get me wrong, but I want Elizabeth to be the kind of character we don’t know everything about right away. I don’t want to spill every detail of her life right from the get-go. I don’t want her to come off as too obviously rich, especially in her own narrative. I want her observations and mannerisms and attitude to reflect the fact that she comes from money without stating it outright.

I also feel that Elizabeth as a character lacked a lot of attention in the show that, again, worked okay for a tv show, but would be doing her a disservice in a novel. She needs hobbies, passions, random relateable thoughts, habits, joys (especially the quiet kind), and motivation. Not to be That Person, but she needs a personality. As the main character it would just be completely unforgivable to have hundreds of thousands of words dedicated to a character that is dull to read about. Remember, books don’t give us the visually appealing scenes that the TV show does. Elizabeth’s smile, her hair, her fun outfits and hats... Those things can’t distract a reader from the fact that she isn’t a very well-fleshed out or understood character.

It also can’t distract from an insanely rushed narrative.

Tons of people watch WCtH for Erin’s performance of Elizabeth. They won’t be reading this novelization for that reason, because Elizabeth is not Erin.

(Though of course you can imagine her in the role if you want to and most readers will; it’s just not the kind of thing that can carry a book the way it can a piece of visual media.)

-

Reimagined is, as of right now, just a slight deviation from what we’re used to. Elizabeth has hobbies, interests. She is a passionate teacher who took the position in Coal Valley for Reasons You’ll Read About.

I really liked aspects of the Elizabeth portrayed in the film by Poppy and in the novel by Janette Oke, and some of those tiny things can and will work their way into this version of the story, too. I’m on board with Elizabeth being a writer, but I’m not on board for that being used as journal exposé writing for Narrative Ease and not to really go all-out in showcasing it as something she’s truly and honestly passionate about. If I want to see a movie that did a great job of showcasing a passionate writer, it’s Anne of Green Gables/Anne of Avonlea. Sure, Anne’s flair for flowery writing and drama was embedded into the voiceover bits and had some narrative function, but it was SO clearly a part of WHO SHE WAS that when you thought about who Anne was, you thought, oh, she’s a teacher for her job but she’s a writer at heart—especially when she learns to write from the heart (instead of what she thinks will make her successful).

I don’t expect Elizabeth to be that type of character (she’s far too sensible), but I need her to have a passion. A person doesn’t just take a teaching post in Nowhere Valley, Canada, in 1910 and not have a good reason for it. What drives her? What motivates her? What makes her happy? 

And when it comes to writing...what is it about writing that she likes? Enjoys? What’s the best part of it? The worst? I wanted to like Elizabeth’s writing arc because duh, I’m a writer, but it didn’t spark any joy in me because it was just too flat. If you give me half a chance I’ll tell you all the best parts of writing, and the worst, and the most frustrating, and the most rewarding. I’ll talk about character growth and development. I’ll talk about cadence. I’ll talk about self-indulgence.

Elizabeth’s passion for writing existed for one reason: “she writes in her journal for easy skips in the narrative.” 

I think she’ll keep her writing passion in Reimagined, but she’ll have other things that matter to her, too, and hopefully if it’s consistently presented it won’t feel like it’s there just to carry a plotline (only for it to disappear afterward).

It’s been fun so far! Elizabeth has been surprisingly nice to write. I won’t lie, though; it’s hard to follow the show enough to make things feel like a novelization while still deviating where it makes sense to. One small example is the conversation that Cat, Abigail, and Florence have with Elizabeth when she gets to town; the TV show didn’t do a bad job with it at all, but when it’s written out exactly the same it feels intensely rushed and out of character/unrealistic. Again, it’s something that got the job done in the TV show, but is nigh unreadable in novel format. 

And it’s not the info dumping, either. It’s just the way the characters go about things; it’s not hospitable, it’s not kind, it’s not thoughtful... and we know from later episodes that Abigail is the pinnacle of hospitality and kindness, and Cat isn’t too far behind her! Even Florence isn’t a monster.

So there has been an attempt on my part to twist things slightly, where mayyybe what Florence says that sounds so rude is really just Florence Being Florence (and observing a truth/reality, not always being awful), and where Elizabeth isn’t mocked on top of being doubted, and of course where some concern is shown for her well-being after her stagecoach was robbed and no doubt didn’t show up in town IN THE FIRST PLACE. I mean, how could they NOT know why Elizabeth was late? Being late by a few days or a week was NOTHING back then. It happened ALL THE TIME. (Thanks, weather!)

So yeah! The project is going. I was really getting into writing it last night, and I’d be working on it now, but I’m just too tired to feel useful.

-

For those wondering about Abigail...she’ll be there. I like the original character and I’ll try to move forward with that person in mind.

-

But back to the whole thing with Mark and et cetera. It’s really interesting how many WCtH characters got the short end of the stick when it came to character development. They have too many characters for the amount of episodes they get a season, which resulted in like...everyone dating for absurdly long periods of time (that had nothing to do with character-reasons until they felt they had to add that stuff in there to force it to make sense). It wasn’t just Jesse and Clara, either. Obviously Elizabeth and Jack took way too long to get together...and Abigail and Frank dated for literal years and should have had something related to that being..a plot for them. I think it might have been interesting in ways Jesse/Clara can’t be, just because Abigail had a long marriage with Noah and she’s much older than Clara, so she brings all that into a new relationship. Clara’s got different issues and sadnesses to work through.

Obviously it didn’t just result in characters dating for insane lengths of time; it also gave us a lot of just..nothing. This conversation started with Frank, because we were talking about Mark Humphrey, but he’s just one example of a handful. The series focused a LOT more on plot driven stuff than character driven stuff, which makes sense, but look at Frank’s character. He got an arc, and then when it was over, he just kind of became a very backseat background character. We might as well have named him Abigail’s Boyfriend at that point, because he hardly did anything that wasn’t related to Abigail DIRECTLY. He didn’t even really get scenes with Cody, which...c’mon. We deserved those. (The best we got was the Christmas movie where the peddler has his old Bible from prison but that whole thing was...not nearly as good or meaningful as it could have been, and of course IT DIDN’T GO ANYWHERE.)

But then it also happened to Lee, and Jesse, and Clara, and Carson and Faith and—yeah, you get it. I feel like if we had 20 episodes a season this wouldn’t be so bad (each recognizable character could easily get a two part episode plotline), but it’s a symptom of plots > character storytelling. More episodes won’t fix that if they just dump in even more bad plots.

S6 was a large improvement in many areas but they REALLY dropped the ball with Bill overall (easily one of the worst parts of S6 just because he went from being such an involved character to kind of a joke/rag doll that nobody knows how to include in a sensible way) and the children aren’t characters so much as tiny plot devices...that frankly aren’t even particularly interesting.

I’m really looking forward to seeing what they’ll do with S7. I hope it’ll be good! I really want them to get their footing onto solid ground and do the best they’ve ever done. They have something really wonderful and I want to be able to tell people “this series found its way and is worth checking out even if it’s usually not your speed.”

But it’s hard to do that when the characters always end up feeling secondary to the (poorly constructed, not very engaging) plots.

So we’ll see! These are things I can improve upon in Reimagined, but I’d really like the show to do some of that work, too. (Better late than never, right?)

[serenagaywaterford]

i’m getting a little anxious about s3. and not in a good way.  (don’t worry. i’m not talking about tuello/serena again.)

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

mostly cos there’s that article that confirmed basically what we already sorta knew: that june is gonna be at lawrence’s as his handmaid. (so at least no more ceremony rape which is nice.)

but forgive me... but i’m pessimistic about the fracturing of the main cast. that never really works well? and we’ve already seen how tht handles it. (not well lol)

now we have june, serena, nick, janine, and moira all in different places with divergent stories. (we know emily and nichole will join up with moira, luke, and erin. and likely sylvia and oliver. so there’s a whole canada crew.) i mean janine has never been a core player but she’s fairly important. and rita... will... likely go with the waterfords wherever they go.

but without june at the waterfords, she’s separated from serena, fred, nick, and janine all in one swoop. (but then of course the waterfords burns down so lol)

now, things i’m really not interested in which i feel are going to take up a lot of time because of this fractured cast:

- serena and fred’s failing relationship. call me biased but i honestly don’t give a shit. i don’t care about fred’s feelings in any way whatsoever. i don’t care about him being sad. or angry. or anything. i simply do not care about him. he needs to die this season. him being upset at his wife who hates him now is so dull. i love serena, i care about what is happening with her character but fred is an accessory to that, not the centre of it. i know there has to be something about him cos he’s tied to serena’s character in many ways, but i’m not here for Poor Fred’s Sad Times Manpain.

- nick being in the army or whatever. i just don’t think he’s a strong enough actor or character to carry scenes by himself. it only worked cos he was playing opposite powerhitters like moss, fiennes, and strahovski (even sweeney). without them to carry the scenes, i fear i’m gonna be bored af. even as a character, he’s just... not that interesting. sorry. the show has managed to actually strip the book character of his moderate complexity and made him into some flat love-interest cliche. who magically survives every treasonous thing he does. so for him to suddenly be a tough guy who is commanding a guardian regiment is fucking laughable. just plain batty. thus, because it’s so nonsensical, it bores me. nick, just in general, bores the fuck outta me on a good day. i dread s3 scenes with him. how nick isn’t fucking DEAD by now for all the shit he’s pulled on waterford it’s bonkers. at the very least, as an eye he should have been removed from that assignment. but i digress. yawn.

- lawrence/june stand-offs or lessons or whatever they wanna frame them as. “he’s testing her”. UGH. i mean, i don’t mind some of it (and apparently they’re gonna partner up)... but i really will be bored when every scene of her in a household is just a showdown of some kind with lawrence. quite frankly, again, maybe i’m just a misandrist but i give zero shits about lawrence either. i don’t wanna her about his pathetic man-struggles and his humanity. i don’t care about his regrets. 

here’s how it goes: i do not care about the men. period. like, there’s no mystery about why men do what they do. there’s no complexity. their stories like this have been told 6,203,009,484,836,334 times already in fiction. we see them in our history books over and over. there have been a million psychological treatises on why nazi men did what they did. why lawrence went along with it, why he continued it, what his contribution was, etc. etc. --- i. do. not. care. i really don’t care about him teaching june the trolley problem or whatever the point is. if the general audience is that lacking in ethical philosophy they need to be taught this, maybe this show is too much already. i also am not here for him using this to excuse his fascism. so, basically, my issue is i don’t care about lawrence. i’ve heard his story a 100 times already. 101 isn’t gonna make it somehow mind-blowing. or even interesting to me...

- lawrence flashbacks will be the death of me, and not in a fun good way. do not show me them. do not waste my precious fucking time on this loser dickhead.

- luke... well, i do sorta care about how the refugees are doing. mostly cos the show has handled it SO BADLY THUS FAR. they made it look super easy and just. no. their canada-side of things has been shit and completely bogus unrealistic. (but then i suspect atwood is partly to blame for that lol.) but i mean, the last thing i need is another full episode dedicated to woobie luke’s woes.

- basically, i give no shits about manpain in this show. none. every second of manpain is a second that a woman’s story is sidelined.

so, my issue with the set up is that when you separate the core characters, they all become strangely boring. what is interesting is their dynamics. and the fact that unless you are june, your story is really thrown to the wayside if you’re removed from her. look how they treated moira last season. and luke. even emily to some degree (but not nearly as badly as moira). she got fuck all to really do or be. luke, even worse. (not that i’m really complaining about that tbh.) emily and janine’s colonies subplots were hack jobs just to show what a colony is. 

now, fair play, i am 100% biased but the only character other than june that comes close to being able to carry a whole, complex story solo is serena. (hello 209). which, ofc, i’m not opposed to. but again, there is something missing in her narrative when she’s isolated from june for too long. 

moira could, if they’d let her. but so far they’ve squandered wiley’s talents and moira’s potential.

it’s sorta exactly because of how they’ve dealt with moira that i fear what will happen when they pull apart the main cast to this degree. yes, it’s the handmaid’s tale. yes, the book was a june solo story. but the show itself has always showed itself to be about other handmaid’s and women in general, almost as much. and how all these women interact. 

the thing is, the show is already treading dangerously into the ridiculous with half these characters even still being alive (june, janine, nick, emily), so it would take a shitload of magic for them to all stay together in one place. and when you pull them apart, it takes some magical deus ex machina shit to put them all back in the same place (hence that weird baptism thing when absolutely insanely they allow janine and the putnams in the same room lmao. plus june, serena, fred, aunt lydia... like yeah right. why doesn’t nick just show up too? hell, moira could stop in for a bite too. why not. nothing matters anymore.)

i dunno. maybe i’m just really cynical and pessimistic... but i don’t like the way it feels. pulling one character out is one thing. having two separate groups of different sides of the border is one thing. having every main character in their own story world is quite another. either the writers actually know what they’re doing after fucking moira & co. over last season, or it’s gonna be a rehash of that and we’re gonna be left with a lot of unsatisfactory, half-baked independent narrative arcs that don’t really weave back into each other in any sensible way.

on a completely separate level, i’m anxious cos of what they’re turning june into.

if the articles are to be believed, they’re making june become... some sort of rebel leader, loose with morality.

“You have to fight fire with fire,” Moss teases. “That’s become [June’s] journey in season 3. To fight against the people she has to fight, she has to become more like them.” Adds Miller: “We’re not doing a montage of June being radicalized — it’s 13 episodes. To see someone go through this process of becoming ruthless was a real challenge. We didn’t want to sensationalize it, or make it too morally easy, either.”

*sigh*

part of what i liked about june was that no matter how awful people were, she was always* very present and empathetic, and yeah she made stupid decisions, was selfish and narrow-minded at times, but inherently a GOOD--if flawed--character. i don’t wanna see serena 2.0. we have a serena, thanks, and she’s a bad person and the whole point is we want her to become a better person, not make june become a worse person to fit in with her lol. i don’t mind june harnessing some of that grit and power and cutthroat attitude, but serena is one of the weakest people and emulating her isn’t the best idea? am i crazy? i especially don’t need to see june turn into lawrence’s rebellious protege.

i dunno... it bothers me when every story about women ends up with “well they have to be more like men! that’s real power!!” (and i’m side-eyeing the male showrunner and male writers so fucking hard rn.) i’m not naive. i know some change is necessary, and to fight such a perverse system you have to infiltrate it, violently fight against it, and understand it. but you don’t need to become it. or again, maybe i’m just naive?

I DO NOT WANT “RUTHLESS JUNE”.

i’m sorry. i don’t. do some ruthless things, yes, that’s probably inevitable but to become a ruthless person? yikes. how has gilead not won then? it seems it has.

(*with the exception of eden. don’t even get me started...)

maybe i just need a cup of chamomile tea and to shut the fuck up until i actually watch it.

[tuiyla]

Marvel’s Runaways casual review/ rant

Okay, so I watched both seasons of Marvel’s Runaways in like four days. Originally I was only going to write one post on it and that was mostly going to be about Deanoru but then I got carried away talking about the show overall so here we go. I’m still going to dedicate a separate post to Nico and Karolina because Gay™, that’s why.

I liked it is the short opinion. The longer version is that it’s very frustrating at times because it could be so much better. The pacing, while all over the place and very slow for some is an issue, but personally I don’t mind it all that much. Yes, it was weird that they only became actual runaways at the very end of season 1 and then season 2 was basically two seasons in one, but that’s not the main problem. It’s very frustrating how the tone can jump around and how there’s scenes missing from almost every single episode. What I mean by that is that there are crucial scenes that we should get in-between the life-altering moments that the characters go through, mostly a few lines of dialogue here and there, but we rarely ever get those. Some of it is related to Deanoru so I’ll elaborate more on that later but in general, it makes some otherwise heavy elements of the show hard to take seriously.

Darius’s murder is both treated as an atrocity and yet we never truly see Tamar grieve. Jonah almost making Janet sacrifice herself for Victor is brushed aside like it wasn’t a fucked up moment. Tina and Robert get back together and the fact that he cheated on her and supposedly didn’t love her anymore rarely ever comes up again. Karolina’s attempted rape is a similar situation. (I thought more about this and okay, I suppose this was given enough gravitas.) So many awful things happen that I get it, it’s hard to keep track and portray the emotional significance of all of them. But if you can’t, maybe you should reconsider writing all of these in and thinking about what kind of tone you’re going for. It’s especially annoying when it comes to character dynamics, like Molly never actually saying it out loud that she forgave Nico for the Topher thing. Just gonna forget that, huh? It’s not entirely unrealistic because Molly is barely 15 and Nico is one of the few people she can call family so they were bound to get over it relatively quickly, I just missed the acknowledgment. Two lines, that’s it.

Runaways is often a few lines away from being a much better show. Just give me the characters acknowledging trauma, or how they were fighting a minute ago, or anything that would keep it more consistent. It’s not Riverdale level bad but it does take away from my enjoyment a little bit. Like, remember when Darius kidnapped Alex? And not only did Geoffrey had a really weird scene there where he prioritised the shot Andre (so he can be killed for Jonah) over Alex's safety, but then Alex became BFFs with Darius. At least Chase pointed out said kidnapping but then nothing else was said about it. Okay, so you’re just gonna move past that, sure.

Some of the ridiculousness is acceptable because it is fundamentally a teen drama and a superhero show, so suspension of disbelief is necessary. But that only takes you so far and is mostly afforded to the supernatural stuff. I can roll with Karolina being an alien who glows and flies but she never really told Chase that she wasn’t interested and that annoyed me. Not that I wanted them to be a thing but they spent a substantial amount of time together in the first two-thirds of season 1 and then... nothing. Even if it was clear for us as an audience that she’s gay and Chase is falling for Gert, the two never had that “oh okay, I see now, you’re not into me, that’s cool” “thanks for understanding” moment. Two lines.

Much of this comes down to how little time the show has because of its enormous main cast. I get that, truly, and I’m not saying all character interactions leave something to be desired. I think the Gert-Molly relationship is near perfect, they almost always talk through their issues and their love for each other is clear even when there’s a conflict going on. There are other examples as well and overall, this is a fine show. Don’t get me wrong here, I didn’t binge it in a few days so I can show up late to the party and tell everyone in the fandom that the show they love is trash. It’s not. The concept is really good and from what I can tell they’ve made some necessary changes to the comics. The cast is also good for the most part, with some cringy moments but some very strong ones as well.

The teen drama part of it is interesting and handled well when they focus on it properly. I like that both Gertchase and Deanoru get more or less equal screentime and focus and the dynamic of the Runaways is something I love to watch. Reminds me of how Brooklyn Nine-Nine is so good because each episode they do different combinations of characters and all the relationships get a chance to develop. Runaways has a very different structure so doing the same would be impossible but I still appreciate the quiet moments between more unlikely pairs or trios. More of that if there’s a season 3, which there’d better be because I’m invested now.

So yeah, I know went off a bit with how frustrating it is when the show is inconsistent with its tone and characters and how just a few more lines or scenes could solve that, but I did enjoy Runaways. Okay, so I mostly enjoyed Deanoru, but other aspects as well. I think Chase being stuck in this cycle of abuse is heartbreaking but makes for a powerful storyline and I hope he’ll get a break eventually. Gert, while too much of a parody of an SJW initially has really grown on me and her need for meds was handled well, I would say. Her jealousy of Karolina when it came to Chase was understandable but not very cool and I would have liked more bonding moments between the two. Molly has some super weird moments but the way she keeps the group together and is allowed to be a kid and enjoy herself every once in a while is heartwarming to watch.

Alex, well, I’m gonna be honest here, is my least favourite. I don’t hate characters and I don’t hate him, but I’m sure finding it difficult to like him in any capacity. His vendetta, while justified in some ways, made him selfish and inconsiderate towards the rest of the group. Even in season 1, he had moments when I went “seriously? who the hell does he think he is”. His DW and nerd references ain’t winning me over. Plus he seems to just not care about most people, especially Karolina? Damn son, I kind of hope that remaining Gibborim is inside you so you can justify some of your actions. But I don’t hate him, I promise, I just hope I can grow to like him later on.

The parents are weird because they’re set out to be the villains and there’s this moral ambiguity around them at any given point, which is fascinating at times. I think Leslie is probably the best portrayal in that there’s a nuance to what she’s done and why. In some ways, she’s the worst of them all and in others, she can be “excused” - but then again, can she? I think it’s an interesting question for the show to answer if it proves itself capable enough to do so. I also like Tina in that I’m curious where her relationship with Nico will go. Okay, so now I just mentioned the mothers of the two characters I like the most, great for my bias. True though.

Part of me is also glad that Jonah survived because he needs more scenes with Karolina. I need it to be established deeper that in a sick way he does love her but also she needs to realize how cruel he is. Then he can die (again) and she can grow from it. The Yorkeses are by far the most puzzling ones because they’re quirky and kind of nice so their appalling actions are brushed aside more so than with the other parents. In general, this is what I find interesting and what I want the show to acknowledge and explore: all the parents have done awful things but not all of them are equally “evil”. Dale shouldn’t be on the same level as Leslie or even Catherine. Can we also get that in season 3?

Alright, that’s it for now. I really should do this after every show I watch. I had quite a lot of thoughts while and after watching this series and though I mostly just wanted to write about Deanoru, I’m glad I got it all out. And I genuinely do need that season 3 so you’d better prove your worth, Hulu.

[crystallinesandwiches]

Riku  and Kairi in KH3

Some parts were good, some parts were super exciting, the rest were out of left field and I have no idea who this character is but it ain’t Riku. As for Kairi? 

           This is strictly my view of KH3. They may not match your views/opinions on the events of this game. The gif above does not reflect my view on Kairi, just on how she’s poorly written in the game. If you want an actual fun and relatable, non trope conforming Kairi, read the mangas.

for further context, I’m literally talking about Riku agreeing with Sora about breaking laws and bringing Kairi back to life. For a guy who literally spent a span of most KH games released dedicated to fighting for and protecting his best friend, he seemed very easy to agree on this suicide mission. It’s literally an unrealistic reaction. It’d be different if Riku agreed and told Sora he was also coming along. Because, oh you know, ALL THREE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS??? But because Kairi decided to share her feelings with Sora, Sora just has the one thing on his mind and okay yeah I get needing to bring back a friend from the dead but there’s no thought of how other people might feel about his leaving.

They did Kairi wrong. They did Riku wrong. Sora was fine until he tunnel visioned because of dumb writing and forced romance plots. How they did Aqua, Terra, and Ven was perfect. All three are strong in power and also their relationship meanwhile not forcing romance. How they did Roxas, Axel, and Xion was perfect, having a troubled history and heartbreaking times but able to finally be together without forcing romance(was so nice to throw Isa in there tho). They completely isolated Sora, Riku, and Kairi. Sora’s only interaction with Riku was either on the phone(like once), talking with Yensid, or saving/fighting with Riku. I mean it was fine and you really got the feeling Sora wanted to tell Riku about his adventures or worried about his safety in the darkness. Riku literally had no interaction with Kairi and that’s crazily troubling. They’re supposed to be friends. His last interaction with her was probably when he brought her to Yensid to be trained to fight with the keyblade. Meanwhile Kairi literally just tunnel visioned about Sora and romance and nothing else. After they met in Yensid’s tower after saving Aqua, there was no reunion between Sora and Kairi. If anything, if seemed like she was closer to Axel than she was Sora in the game.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so hyped for something then ended up being so angry over it. I really thought we would get a Riku campaign and play through his journey to find/save Aqua and investigate stuff about Organization XIII and replicas and such. I was stoked to play as Riku all two times, just annoyed both times were in the exact same location with the same exact results. And I especially hoped we could finally get to play as Kairi and watch her grow as a character, go thru her training with Axel, and maybe actually explore different worlds. She’s the only one of the Destiny trio that didn’t get to travel. This could have been a similar game mechanic as BBS; short game/story but playing as three different character provides more story and unique interactions. In the end, we got OOC dependent Riku, useless romance plot trope and tool Kairi, and Sora with a case of ‘oh yeah i’m the hero and i have a disney princess who keeps getting kidnapped’.

[inknerd]

November Wrap-Up 2018

I’m a little late in posting this, but let’s go!

I have, for the first time, embraced non-fiction november; so the amount of non-fiction I’ve read this month - while perhaps not that many compared to others - is way more than usual.

VERY GOOD LIVES by J.K. ROWLING ★★☆☆☆ | 74 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2015

So, the only reason I read this was because it was in the pile of books I won a couple of months ago, also because it was non-fiction and very short. + So this was a speech Rowling apparently held some time ago at a graduation, and like, it wasn’t bad? - I’m not super invested in J.K. Rowling in general? But I still thought the speech would be more spectacular than it was.

NORSE MYTHOLOGY by NEIL GAIMAN ★★★★☆ | 235 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2017

Man, Norse mythology AND Neil Gaiman? It’s strange I haven’t read this before now. + First of all, I dig the cover. 10/10. This book is also hilarious, while still keeping it serious enough that it feels real. - I can’t say I can come up with anything super important to complain about; but there were certain things I’d hoped would appear in the book that didn’t, and I sort of wished for illustrations?

ZEUS GRANTS STUPID WISHES: A NO-BULLSHIT GUIDE TO WORLD MYTHOLOGY by CORY O’BRIEN and SARAH MELVILLE ★★★☆☆ | 304 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2013

I saw people talking about this on tumblr and desperatly wanted to check it out. Guess how happy I was when my local library had it???? Very happy. + God, it’s so funny! I especially enjoyed the part dedicated to Norse mythology. The illustrations were quite funny, too. - While it was super interesting to read about creation myths and stories from mythologies I haven’t really read about much, not knowing them beforehand made it a little bit harder understanding what was going on under all the jokes.

BAD FEMINIST by ROXANE GAY ★★★☆☆ | 320 pages | 5 days to read | Published 2014

This is a book I didn’t get myself, but I was still really excited to read it! (Mainly because it had sprayed pages that looked like marble) + It was an interesting collection of essays about a subject that’s always interesting to read about. Overall I think they all were good. - To me, there wasn’t really anything I hadn’t about (several times) already, and I sort of hoped it be a more fun/witty read.

MEN EXPLAIN THINGS TO ME by REBECCA SOLNIT ★★★★☆ | 130 pages | 2 days to read | Published 2014

+ Really interesting and meaningful read that at least made me feel like I was realising and understanding things I’ve already read about,because it was written in suck a good way. - I skimmed some essays in this collection - some where definitely more enjoying to read than others.

ILLUMINAE by AMIE KAUFMAN & JAY KRISTOFF ★★★★★ | 602 pages | 2 weeks to read | Published 2015

MAN, I’d heard so much about this book and how many people loved it but I had NOT expected to love it as much as I did! One of the best books I read this year, definitely. + The epistolary style doesn’t often do it for me, but I wasn’t bothered by it this time at all! I really liked the artistic choices they made to present the different types of text and especially the way they made the pages from the AI’s perspective. This book was also funny and imaginative while also being subtly terrifying the whole time. It’s a war-love-mystery story in space and also zombies and it works. - Nothing big I can think of. Looking forward to the sequel.

SAMLADE DIKTER by EDITH SÖDERGRAN ★★★★☆ | 187 pages | 2 weeks to read | Published 2014 (1949)

I’ve been thinking I need to read more poetry in Swedish and I already knew I would probably like Södergran’s poems, so yeah. + They are written so beautifully and some of them really stand out to me. I’ve read poems like Vierge moderne and Violetta skymmningar... before, but it was nice reading even more. - There were parts - or years - of the book that I wasn’t at all interested in, while some really stood out to me.

BYGONE BADASS BROADS by MACKENZI LEE ★★★★★ | 176 pages | 9 days to read | Published 2018

+ I actually loved this way more than I thought I would? The real reason why I gave it five stars rather than four is that the illustrations and the colours were just SO beautiful??? Like, everything just looked great it made the reading experience even better. - I can’t really think of anything obvious to complain about. The writing in this book is supposed to be witty and stuff, so if you’re looking for a more “objective” book about women in history this is not for you, but it was still fun to read.

NÄR HUNDARNA KOMMER by JESSICA SHIEFAUER ★★☆☆☆ | 301 pages | 3 days to read | Published 2015

So this is a book I read with the class where I have my teacher’s practice. Normally, I probably wouldn’t have picked this book up ‘cause it’s not really my style, but now I had to read it and it wasn’t BAD...more like OK. + Shiefauer is a good writer in general - she has good language and writes different perspectives good. The most interesting thing about this book is that it’s sort of based on a real-life crime that happened in Sweden some time ago. - idk, I didn’t really care much for the characters and the main romance had me very frustrated (but I think that was the point?), and while it might be a good book to read in class with sixteen-year-olds it’s not something I would read by myself.

MY LADY JANE by CYNTHIA HAND, BRODI ASHTON & JODI MEADOWS ★★★★☆ | 491 pages | 4 days to read | Published 2016

Ahh, I finally got to read this! I’d looked forward to reading this so much and after asking my kind library bought it in! + It’s just here for a good time, you know? I mean, it’s a story about a queen that sat on the throne for a couple of days, a king that’s deathly ill, and a guy that turns into a horse every day - and it like...works? I’m amazed. The story was fun and easy to follow. - I felt like some things were just unnecessary? Like, I understood why they had to do some things but meh. It’s also hard to take this book seriously, but that’s not really overly negative. Am looking forward to read My Plain Jane.

MEN WHO HATE WOMEN AND THE WOMEN WHO LOVE THEM by SUSAN FORWARD ★★★★☆ | 301 pages | 1 day to read | Published 1986

I have no idea why I started to read this. I saw someone recommending it in a tumblr post together with a link to the ebook and went like “oh” and read during the entire day. + It’s very easy to read while still keeping it professional. It was easy to see Forward’s reasoning and the stories she had about women stuck in certain types of marriages were so...sad to read? I also liked most of the conclusions she had. Overall a very interesting book to read. - I didn’t notice at first but by the ending I realised some things were sort of dated (this was released in 86, so not that strange) and then there were other stuff I sort of stopped at but then thought maybe it’s a cultural difference? Not really big things.

RESTORE ME by TAHEREH MAFI ★★★☆☆ | 400 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2018

MAN, I wanted to like this book. I couldn’t believe when I heard the Shatter Me-trilogy would get another set of books. I was so happy! But...meh. + I feel like I don’t anything specific to put here but like the book is still FINE. Juliette’s powers are still cool, more ‘interesting’ characters gets introduced and the language is still Tahereh Mafi, you know? - BUT I honestly think I got so frustrated by the characters because I had let this series go. I read the third book, was satisfied by the ending and now I sort of have to wake up the feelings for the characters that I used to have. But they are not there and I just...found myself incredibly frustrated by all the characters. ALL OF THEM. Also some plot-point just feel so...B. Just give me a book with Juliette destroying stuff that’s what I want.

MOXIE by JENNIFER MATHIEU ★★★★☆ | 340 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2017

Wasn’t planning to read this. I saw it at the library one day and just picked it up and started reading. + Very entertaining and frustrating at the same time. I think the idea of Moxie was pretty cool and they came up with inventive ways to fight back; like drawing stars and hearts on their hands to show support, or take on bathrobes to protest against the school’s sexist dress codes. A cool book. - I didn’t care much for the romance - Like I understand why it was in there and it gave a really interesting perspective of certain things, but it would have been just as good if they’d just been friends, you know?

GIRLS OF PAPER AND FIRE by NATASHA NGAN ★★★☆☆ | 336 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2018

I got this beautiful book in a fairyloot box and was so excited to read it! Sadly, some things just wasn’t as good as I’d hoped. + Listen, the worldbuilding in this? Cool. Awesome. I’m really fascinated by the country’s history, religion and myths, and the different castes and different demons that exists in this world. It also has a f/f main pairing, and honestly? I’m here for that. - I’m not kidding when I say that while I was reading I thought “I’m probably going to give this like four stars” and probably would have if I didn’t hate the ending as much as I did. It felt rushed, unrealistic and also just crushed some of the things I’d thought would happen because I was so certain they were hinting at certain stuff during the entirety of the book. But no, didn’t happen. Okay.

BEAUTIFUL DARKNESS by FABIEN VEHLMANN & KERASCOËT ★★★★☆ | 94 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2009

A graphic novel I read while waiting in the library. It was surprisingly good! + So weird, but also so entertaining, horrifying, and fun to read? I love the artstyle - which manages to be cute but still manages to look really creepy when it’s supposed to. - Sometimes I struggled with what this graphic novel actually tried to say. And why did they kill the badass warrior-lesbian with a scissor-sword OFF-SCREEN!?

[wickymicky]

just saw a post from you about izone on my dash thanks to that weird catch up(?) thing tumblr does, and it got me thinking about how izone definitely has the most chance to stay in some form after their time is up out of all the temporary survival show groups. like, they are huge moneymakers for one, and we all know how entertainment companies love some good dollar. plus, as far as I'm aware at least, there are more members with less previous/outside convictions, unlike wanna one for example

yeah and like some companies might not wanna debut the members, because they might wanna distance themselves from the rigging scandal, you know? OTR has its problems for sure, but the fact that it’s a label set up specifically to manage izone and fromis 9 instead of the group being managed by a sort of temporary thing like the company that managed IOI, Wanna One, and X-1, like, i think that stuff bodes well. it seems like izone has a more dedicated team involved in managing them than the others had, and OTR also manages another girl group that is permanent (though not well... but i’ll save the discussion of how OTR manages fromis for another post) means they have the infrastructure there. i dont think its impossible to imagine OTR negotiating contract stuff with the companies that the members belong(ed) to. some more than others, maybe. like on the one hand, even if 8d might not keep hyewon, starship will probably wanna hold on to wonyoung and yujin, but on the other hand... starship is one of the primary companies facing legal action in the rigging scandal. wasnt their ceo arrested or something?

so yeah like think about it... lemme go down one by one actually

Eunbi and Chaewon are from Woollim, and probably were both predebut members for Rocket Punch. groups are planned for a while in advance, and probably Woollim had the idea of sending some members of their future group to Produce 48, knowing that even if none of them made it in the final lineup, they’d still continue with debuting in their own new girl group and they’d have the name recognition from having at least been on the show. Eunbi and Chaewon did end up debuting in the final lineup, but if they hadnt, they would’ve been in Rocket Punch, for sure. but if/when Izone disbands... i’m not sure Eunbi would join. i could see her being a soloist of some sort, but she’s a lot older than most of the RP members, which wouldnt have been as much of an issue at debut but will be more of an issue later, especially since Yeonhee will have been the leader for two years at that point (and Eunbi would definitely be placed in the leader position if she joins). I could see Chaewon in Rocket Punch though. but again, who knows?

Yena could be placed into Everglow but obviously, Everglow is the group that has been in existence for the longest time out of the other prospective Izone-member groups. and they’ve found a decent amount of success too, like, Yuehua might have been banking on Yena joining at first, but they don’t really *need* Yena anymore, you know? Everglow has a strong identity and will be even more established by the time Yena would be added. I wouldnt necessarily be opposed to it, because Yena definitely is still close to the members, it wouldn’t feel unnatural and they’d all definitely get along really well, but it’s not really necessary. also I think anyone who is a fan of Yena cant imagine her debuting without Yuri at the very least... or maybe that’s just me

which brings me to Yuri. what’s gonna happen with Yuri? her company when she was on PD48 was just Stone Music... the company that owns OTR. like... no matter what happens, Yuri will stay with OTR, no doubt. even if she debuts as a soloist or something, i guarantee it’ll be under OTR (or Swing or whatever. but i think it’d make sense for her to remain adjacent to fromis 9). unless maybe she leaves and joins Everglow with Yena lmao... but i cant really picture that hahaha

Hyewon and Minju... their companies are really small, it seems. even if everything goes according to plan and Izone disbands, i think it’s pretty unlikely that either of them will remain under 8D Creative and Urban Works, respectively. i’m not sure either of them would make good soloists either............

as i said, Wonyoung and Yujin’s future is both more set in stone than the others and also more up in the air than the others. it’s both of those contradicting things at the same time. who knows. also Starship just debuted a group with their X-1 member(s? i dont know), will they really debut yet another group in a year or so? WJSN should still be their gg focus....

Chaeyeon has been part of a known trainee group at WM for a while, it’s likely that they’ll debut together, but.... Chaeyeon has such ridiculous potential, and she’s a couple years older than the other trainees in that group if i remember correctly (it’s been a while since i checked), so like.... i’m not saying it’d be a waste, cause idk, maybe that group would be awesome but.... I mean.... 

J-Line.... Sakura, Nako, Hitomi... who even knows... okay so Sakura will likely be in a position to “graduate” from the AKB group she’s in by then, and who knows what she’ll do after that, but AKB48 won’t wanna give up Nako and Hitomi most likely. i think especially Hitomi because like... from what i understand, it’s not like she was totally unknown or totally unpopular when she was in her AKB group (idk which one) back then, but it’s certainly true that she was not like a household name by any stretch of the imagination. suddenly, one of the idols they had becomes super popular all of a sudden... they aren’t gonna wanna give that up. sigh. Nako and Sakura were known much more already, so i feel like they actually have more leeway to do their own thing after Izone disbands. i’m not sure about Hitomi though. also i’m not sure what they’ll all even wanna do after the disbandment! there’s a chance that even if they can do whatever they want and are free agents, they’ll still wanna go back to Japan to promote there. and that makes total sense and i wouldnt blame them at all!!! that’s their home! i feel like Sakura has the highest chance of staying in Korea and hopefully (fingers crossed) staying with Chaeyeon.... but i mean i know i would like to see all three of them stay lol

and that’s all of them. idk, idk what’s gonna happen. there’s no nice way of saying this, but uh... Izone dont have the kind of monster-talent that the IOI members had... and EVEN THEN, like, look at the IOI groups... like even though IOI had members like Sejeong, Yoojung, Chungha, etc who come around only several times in a generation, look at the post-IOI groups... none of them are doing very well except for Chungha’s solo career and WJSN, and it’s not like WJSN is there purely because of Yeonjung’s time in IOI. WJSN wasnt formed around her though, she was added later. i think it’s clear that even if you have the most talented idol in the universe, building a group around that one member... doesn’t work. you have to build a group around the strengths and weaknesses of ALL the members. debuting a whole group in order to just promote the one or two famous members does not work, and that’s been shown time and time again, unfortunately. you have to make a real effort to promote all of them. and those IOI group examples are with talent like Yoojung, Doyeon, (Jung) Chaeyeon, Sejeong, Mina, etc! no offense to Hyewon or Minju or someone like that, but, like, if building a group around Sejeong doesnt work, then certainly building a group around Minju wouldnt work either.....

i mean no offense to the members of Izone, i think they are really talented! they have some monster-talent members too! but without a doubt, their strength is as a unit. as all 12 of them. Yuri is a great vocalist, but a hypothetical Yuri-focused group wouldnt last (unless she’s just treated as a totally equal member to the other members... which is kind of impossible given the way the media works). the worst case scenario would be if not only does the group not become popular just based on the popularity of one member, but what if that member loses their popularity once they arent part of Izone? you know? I know I’ll follow their careers wherever they go, but will some people follow Yuri without Joyuriz? will they follow (Lee) Chaeyeon without the rest of Izone? idk man... idk. 

so what i’m saying is... there’s a real case to be made. i don’t think it’s unrealistic to think that the companies themselves know this and are also unsure of what the best step forward would be. maybe theyve even considered letting their Izone member go, if they dont think they would make their investment back by debuting them in a group of their own. idk. i think it’s at least likely that five or six of the Izone members will end up still together, even if the other half don’t. i suppose we’ll just have to wait and see though, cause its not like there’s much we can do about it :(

[jesterlady]

It wouldn't be right to do a redux on SG1 without doing the same for SGA so here is the Atlantis version of the post about the things I like and things I don't like.  Probably not as long seeing as how I have literally half the material, but we'll see. I like: -Literally every word that comes out of Rodney's mouth.  I don't know if they have a dedicated writer who does nothing but comes up with things for him to say suitable to every occasion, but it is a sheer delight to listen to David Hewlett.  Practically every scene in Grace Under Pressure where he's basically talking to himself or hallucination Sam is pure pure gold.  His new whale friend! -Carson's accent, oh, I could just listen to it all day long.  It's such joy to listen to Carson talk as well.  He's not that old, but he calls everyone son and it's so adorable. -Tao of Rodney.  I probably would have made a separate post about it if Sunday hadn't made me so upset.  This episode made me cry and just...when Rodney starts trying to do nice things for people and actually apologizes to Zelenka and the Ronon hug!  Ugh, it's amazing -The way Radek talks to himself in Czech, especially when annoyed with Rodney -How we learn little things about Lorne, like him being a painter or that he sleepwalks -John and Elizabeth being possessed and fighting each other.  Who doesn't like a good possession episode?  Cadman/Rodney ftw, as well. -Woolsey taking over for Sam.  I was always going to be predisposed to liking him since I love Robert Picardo so much.  I liked that even though he was an antagonist when he first originated on SG1, he was a straight shooter and since I knew he was going to be on SGA, I figured he would straighten out even more, and they did a really good job of balancing the by the book guy with the living in the last frontier guy. -The city itself, it's really pretty and very cool, and has endless possibilities.  It flies! -David Hewlett's acting in the Shrine.  That opening video with him, I was absolutely blown away.  So good. -Ronon and John fighting with Bantos rods and hopping on one foot.  Bantos rod fighting scenes in general. -That real life siblings portrayed Rodney and Jeannie Miller.  It brought a huge element of awesome.  Jeannie is amazing! -The love triangle, for lack of a better term, was actually handled extremely well.  Granted, it's annoying in any shape or form, but Ronon and Rodney didn't get into some big pissing match over Jennifer and she made her feelings about what she wanted extremely clear instead of dithering around about it. -That Teyla realized it wouldn't be safe for her to be on the team while pregnant and that it was extremely hard to go back. Side note: I hate pregnancy storylines where the woman gets all shirty when people tell her to take it easy (particularly when her normal job is extremely dangerous) like they think she's less capable.   Uh, no, that's not being independent and strong, that's being stupid and selfish.  It is not weak to protect your child, it's common sense, and it reflects well on you, not poorly. -The song Beyond the Night and how they put it in the show.  It was so vastly different than anything either show had done before, but it was beautiful and well done. -Rodney, Jennifer, and Sam trying to get out of a hole in the ground together -Ronon and Teal'c fighting badass style together.  It took them a while, but they are the most metal crime fighting duo in the entire world -Rodney and Daniel interaction.  More and more and more please.  They bicker and snipe and work so well together, it's like a sarcasm orgy. -Ronon Dex fighting Wraith in a ware house.  Side by side cutting with Eliot Spencer fighting in a warehouse, please. -Todd the Wraith (and that they name the Wraith such ridiculous names). It's always better when your villains are ambiguously evil and you kind of like them.  Is Todd dead?  WE DON'T KNOW! -Ronon and Teyla holding hands while he takes her to the infirmary.  They are so adorable together and sweet. -While we're on the subject, I like Rodney and Jennifer together.  The only romance the show ever took the time to develop and too little too late some say.  But it makes sense to me and he learns a lot. -While we're further on the subject, I love the whole leaders in love thing that I could see going on with John and Elizabeth.  It also would have been nice to see develop. -Amelia kickboxing her way to victory -Chuck the Technician will never be as cool as Walter, but he's still pretty awesome -The episode where John time travels into the future and hologram Rodney shares with him everything that happened.  Really really cool. -Nanite hallucination for Elizabeth, really great job by Torri. -The Michael arc was very good, I think they could have done a lot more with it and planned it better, but the idea and him were really cool. -That Carson came back.  Oh, thank God that Carson came back.  A part of me is really sad that actual Carson is dead and some other man is living his life, but I figure he's the kind of man who wouldn't mind.  Rodney going and visiting his stasis pod gives me all kinds of feels.  Carson is literally the whole cinnamon roll too good and pure for this world meme. -Rodney delivers Torren! -Rodney being jealous of himself -Alternate dimension jumping Daedalus. -The way Rodney always says ZedPMs.  So Canadian! -Wraith Queen Teyla -Them trying to adjust to Earth again in the Return.  I love that Atlantis became their home and each other their family.  They don't belong on Earth anymore.   -John's speech to Teyla about how everyone is his family and there's nothing he wouldn't do for any of them -Woolsey kicking ass in their trial -Zelenka covered in body paint after spending time on the kid planet. -John's leadership style.  So casual, so intense.  "I'm sorry for shooting everybody!" -Ronon's smile.  Ronon's three freckles on his face.  His triangle eyebrows.   His hair.  His gun, ooh, I love his gun.  The way he lifts John in play that one time. -Twilight Bark/LOTR Beacon scene -The way everyone was obsessed with Lucius.  That was so funny. I don't like: -It felt like nothing was planned.  They just sort of...did whatever seemed cool to them and it resulted in poor resolution at times and extremely poor character/relationship development -That for an ensemble cast, so much emphasis was put on John and Rodney.  Maybe Buffy spoiled this as well for me, but in my opinion, if you're in the credits, you should be in every episode.  Even just a bit at the end or a bit at the beginning, but you should be involved.  (SG1 did this as well, but not as badly as SGA).  I could be wrong but they clearly made the effort to do this with John and Rodney so they were in every episode.  Even if the episode wasn't about them, there was some kind of scene with them in it.  So clearly, they were capable of that.  Things like Ronon and Teyla not being in the Vegas episode, annoy the heck out of me. -The kids leaving Rodney, Sam, and Jennifer to die in the hole.  Maybe I'm unrealistic, but I just feel like nobody would actually do that in such a dire situation. -They switched planets!  What about the Athosians new home?  It felt like we didn't even see what happened to them and then all of a sudden they were in a new place and missing from it. I always thought...maybe Atlantis was more about where it was then just the city itself.  Apparently not. -Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!  I mean, it'd probably be one of my favorite episodes if not for the end.  It's really cool that way, but I cannot forgive them for doing that to me.   Especially now that I know it was done on purpose to "shake things up" and for ratings since SG1 was ending. -Ford never had a chance.  He was never going to be my favorite, but they could have done so much more with him.  It's really sad how badly they botched that up.  Also, there's no reason they couldn't have actually developed him once they turned him into a psycho Wraith wanna be.  That would have been an amazing S2 character arc for him, but instead, it became 'guest star' and Ronon was clearly chosen to replace him. -Teyla's baby arc.  I get that Rachel was actually pregnant and I'm super glad they wrote it in rather than killing her off or making her stand behind furniture like a sitcom (totally not compatible with her active fighting or love of midriff-less clothing.)  But the whole thing was really rushed.  Like, how am I supposed to care about some random dude I've never met named Kanaan, who's the father of her baby?  Romance should evoke feelings, not blankness.  I just never got the chance to really care about them as a couple, which could be why I really have always seen Ronon and Teyla together, honestly. -They way they wrote Elizabeth out of the show.   It's horrendous and unacceptable.  They didn't know what to do with her?  Uh, so you actually take the time and figure it out.  Making her leave just because they wanted someone from SG1 to come on to the show is the stupidest thing.  She was amazing and a great leader and had a lot more to give.  So what if she was intended to be more of a General Hammond. Part of being a show runner is playing to your strengths and what people love.  Both of those things were Weir.  I love Sam, always have, always will, she did great, but, that was just another example of the horrible, horrible way Atlantis handled character development and why they were never quite as good as SG1.  Even the whole Elizabeth arc being resolved with her in a different Replicator body just felt wrong and disrespectful.  (All the Replicator stuff seemed a little bit off to me (especially as regards her) and maybe they just went a little bit crazy without taking the time to think things through). -The Genii as villains.  Ugh, they just rubbed me the wrong way.  Colm Meany is awesome as is Robert Davi, but they just didn't do it for me -Harmony.  Annoying children who deliberately manipulate adults and lie about what they've done to discredit another adult, are so awful.  Granted, Rodney is a petty, selfish, arrogant child himself, but John has no reason to suppose he's not telling the truth.  Not really.  Children shouldn't be allowed to get away with that.  It reminds me of my younger brother and he and I used to fight all the time when he would be a brat and annoy me on purpose.  My mom always said since I was older, I had to be more mature and not rise to it.  Perhaps true, but the most unfair thing ever and it still bothers me when I see it in others today. -Destruction of the Midway.  So sad, it was such a cool idea.  It's just annoying them always trying to figure out how to limit travel between Earth and Pegasus.  Just give them both ZPMs then! -Sam not being present at Brain Storm.  All the most brilliant scientists on Earth, my auntie.   (Bill Nye was cool!)  But just a simple exchange like Jennifer asking if Sam would be there and Rodney replying that no, she was off world, would have sufficed. -Remember when Jennifer, in her first scene, was all afraid of being CMO and didn't want the job?  Yeah, literally never mentioned again. Much more thematic problems with SGA, I'm afraid, but still plenty, plenty to love.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: No Regrets (4x18)

!!! This plot arc just keeps getting more and more intriguing.

Cons:

We get a big death in this episode. Jeffrey Mace. I'm going to miss him, and the way the death was portrayed was nice... but Mace wasn't a big enough character in our minds for the death to pack the proper punch. I'm bummed that he's gone, because I think there were still a lot of interesting things that could have been done with his character. But I wasn't devastated, the way I think I was meant to be. A few more episodes getting to know Mace inside the Framework would have helped this death mean a little bit more.

A repeat of a complaint from last week: Mack and Hope are a little too cheesy. He's always calling her Sparkplug and she's always giggling and smiling and she just adores her father so much. I think if we saw a genuine moment where the two of them weren't seeing eye to eye, that would help. As is, the whole thing is just a little too perfect, which goes against Aida's whole thing about fixing one regret and then letting the world spiral out from there. In Mack's case, it feels like his relationship with his daughter was not only restored by her being alive, but was given this unrealistic sheen of perfect bliss.

Pros:

Very quickly, the main plot of this one is that the resistance, S.H.I.E.L.D., goes in to help break out a bunch of Hydra's prisoners. Meanwhile, May has been tasked to take down The Patriot, and she takes some of the super-strength serum that we know Mace uses in the real world, in order to do so. In the end, Mace gives up his life to hold up a collapsing building, while Coulson, Jemma, Ward, and a shell-shocked May are able to help a bunch of kids escape from this "reprogramming" camp. In the real world, we see Mace hooked up into the Framework. He flat-lines, and Aida disconnects him.

While all of that is going on, Daisy is still in prison, and so is Radcliffe. Aida offers Daisy a chance to be with Lincoln, if only Daisy will cough up her location in the real world. Later, Radcliffe whispers through the walls to Daisy, revealing a "back door" way out, although we don't hear what he says. In the end, May shows up and uses Terrigen crystals to turn Daisy back into an Inhuman, so she can dismantle Hydra. Fitz, meanwhile, is troubled about killing Agnes, but a talk from his dear old dad makes him realize that staying loyal to Hydra and Ophelia really is the right move.

Oh boy. Lots of intriguing stuff going on here. The easiest thing will be to take this character-by-character again.

Mace, as I mentioned, dies heroically. I may have wanted a bit more time with him so his death could be properly impacting, but it was still pretty sad. I think about all of the stuff Mace wanted to do in the real world, and how in this Framework he finally got to be the Inhuman hero of the people he was just pretending to be in reality. It was a fitting sendoff. I'll miss him.

Coulson continues to be this wonderfully in-between version of himself. He has snippets of memories, but he doesn't recall the training and authority of his real self. I love the fact that once he puts his loyalty and trust in a group of people, he's willing to do anything to protect them. While Jemma refers to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s refugees as nothing more than ones and zeroes, Coulson is unable to think of them that way. This has been his reality for too long. He risks it all to save a bunch of kids from Hydra's reprogramming centers. Gotta love that guy.

Ward is, as I've mentioned, super fascinating in this world. He's a genuinely good person who wants to rescue Daisy (or Skye, as he calls her) at any cost. He's also loyal to Mace. The look on his face when he realizes that Mace is about to die... well, let's just say Grant Ward really does have a heart. I also love the conversations that he and Jemma have in this episode. Simmons tells Mace and Ward about the "real world," which leads to a discussion about what constitutes "real." Ward is convinced of his own reality, just as Jemma is. I honestly love this weird tension between Jemma and Ward, and would love to see more of it.

Speaking of Jemma Simmons, she had one of the best lines in the episode, as she's telling Ward and Mace the news about the real world: "No one wants to hear that they're just an avatar in a digital prison, but sometimes that happens, and here we are." So dry, so matter-of-fact, so great. Also, Jemma's unshakable faith in Fitz really does warm the heart. She knows that this world can't be real, because she can't accept a reality where Fitz murders an innocent woman in cold blood.

Fitz, by the way, seems to be having a hard time with that as well. He's having doubts, which he talks over with his father. Turns out, Fitz's "one regret" in this world was the absence of a relationship with his dear old dad. It seems the cold-hearted man really warped Fitz into a dedicated devotee of Hydra. For a while there I wasn't convinced by this whole "one regret" idea, because it seemed absurd that just one thing being changed could alter Fitz so entirely. But now I see that while the real Fitz is under there somewhere, the ruthlessness and blind devotion is also a very real part of who Fitz is. Everybody has the capacity to do terrible things. It doesn't even necessarily make this version of Fitz an irredeemable monster, either. I'm fascinated to learn more about Fitz's father.

Daisy. Oh, Daisy. Fitz actually drops the line "nevertheless, she persisted," in this episode, and I swear, I literally did a fist pump. Daisy doesn't waver through all of the torture, never giving up any information. Aida then offers up something tantalizing: the chance for Daisy to live a happy life with Lincoln. Unsurprisingly, Daisy doesn't give in to temptation, although she does seem achingly tempted by the thought of seeing Lincoln again. I'm intrigued by whatever Radcliffe told her about the "back door" to the Framework. Daisy is such a strong character. Sometimes I think back to the early days of this show, and I can hardly believe how much I like her now.

May. Oh my God. I wasn't expecting her to turn around so quickly, but it was just golden. She's single-minded in her mission to kill Mace, but when she sees that Hydra has been holding kids, she's completely shocked and horrified. She doesn't shoot the Patriot, instead helping the group to save the kid who's been caught in rubble. She even gives Mace a little nod of respect before she leaves him to be crushed by the building. The ending scene was pure gold. She shows up in Daisy's cell, and when Daisy assures her she can bring Hydra down if only she has her powers, May gives her those powers. The two share this amazing look of determination. Shit is about to get real in the very best way. May makes a lot of sense to me in this world. She works for Hydra because Hydra is "saving the world" from the very mistake she made by saving that kid. But here, she's forced to confront the fact that saving children isn't wrong. It can't be. And Inhumans can't be wrong either. I love May.

Oh, and by the way... Trip?!?!?!!! When the rebels were talking about rescuing somebody from a Hydra prison, I just knew it would be somebody we recognized. But I wasn't expecting Trip, and the minute I saw him I was just so very happy. He was such a great character, and not very much was ever done with him. I'm intrigued by the presence of people we care about, like Hope and Trip, who won't be around in any way shape or form outside of the Framework. It ups the stakes, and makes the idea of dismantling this whole world a little tricky to justify entirely. I can't wait for more!

I'm honestly so invested in this show right now. I can't wait to find out what happens to all of these characters. I really appreciate all of the thought and development they are putting in to every member of this somewhat large ensemble cast. There are going to be some really tough real-world consequences once this Framework thing is done with, and that's mighty interesting.

8/10

[backtothestart02]

#2, 4, 10, 21, 28, 31 and 39 please.

All new ones. Cool. :)

(Most of these are under the cut b/c it got reeeeally lengthy.

2) Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life. 

Oh, wow. *takes deep breath and puts on thinking cap* I think with this I’m just going to go with the three biggest ships I’ve had. That would be Chuck & Blair from Gossip Girl. Barry & Iris from The Flash. Aaaaand….*hmms* Anakin & Padme from Star Wars.

Chuck & Blair was the first really big obsessive ship I got into. All through high school (and before), I had so many extra-curricular activities (and a social life), as well as people telling me how very NOT healthy it was to be watching TV all the time. So, it was completely unrealistic to actually watch every episode of any show on a weekly basis. I had shows I got into, but because of this fact, I just really wasn’t able to dedicate myself to any of them until I hit college. Suddenly I had no adult telling me what I could and couldn’t do, and I had a lot more time on my hands. Season 1 of Gossip Girl aired during my last year of high school, so I was bit behind, but I was able to catch up beyond just the significant scenes/eps of that season in due time and I promptly emerged myself into the online world of fandom. I wrote fic, I made vids, I chatted with countless other fangirls on multiple sites. I found my best friend.

Barry & Iris I talked about on the previous post, but they’re the first really big TV ship I got invested in since Gossip Girl ended. I watched several other shows since then and got heavily invested in my OTPs on just about all of them. But the level of obsession and involvement online and with them in general just wasn’t at its height. Well, big congrats to the writers and casting director of the Flash. Not only did you get me sucked into a superhero TV show (I hadn’t really been into any superhero franchise since the original Spiderman movie trilogy back in the early 2000s), but you got me hung up on probably the most gorgeous ship on television rn. Bless.

And…Anakin & Padme. *le sigh* I watch the prequels now and I cringe so bad, b/c the writing and acting is AWFUL (despite the actors being pretty decent, if not amazing - I’m looking at you, Natalie Portman). But when it first came out I was but a preteen and naive to such things as good acting and the like. I fell head over heels for this forbidden romance and heavily crushed on Hayden Christensen as well. In fact, I loved them so much that I had to buy a second VHS (b/c we still used those pretty frequently back in 2002ish lmao) b/c I watched their scenes so many times and constantly did a rewind, so that the film actually came out of the encasing of the VHS. Smh. Also, they were the first ship I ever vidded. And let me tell you, I went to EXTREME lengths to vid them. I had a crap video editing program and had to multitask in the most frustrating way. But I wanted to vid them more than anything, so I took the extra time and the extra effort it took to do it. Also, that first vid I made…I accidentally deleted, and I cried for HOURS. It was my masterpiece, as miserable as it must have looked. And I was just DEVASTATED when it was gone. I remade it as best as I could, but it was still a disaster. I did write some fic for them as well, but mostly I made vids - a TON of them. They look awful to me now, but it’s nice to see the progress I made. Lol. Aaaanyways, that was my first really obsessive ship and def a defining point in my shipping life.

4) What’s your current NOTP? 

Current NOTP… Let’s see. This one’s actually really hard. Because if I don’t like a ship, even if it’s in direct opposition to my OTP, I don’t necessarily hate them. I just don’t ship them. I have reasons I don’t like them that are outside of being an obstacle to my ship, and I just…don’t know if I have one at the moment? Hook & Emma from Once Upon a Time I despised for the LONGEST time. I’m a hardcore Neal & Emma shipper, but I just felt the whole transition into Hook & Emma was AWFUL. Not to mention starting from their first kiss, I was just kinda…grossed out? But they’ve been a ship for a while now, and I’d be lying if I said I don’t root for them. I still don’t ship them, but they’re no longer on my hate list. Barry & Caitlin aren’t a NOTP for the simple fact that they’re not even happening. Imo, you can only hate a ship if it’s actually happening (or happened previously), neither of which is the case with them. I guess…oh, I KNOW! Lol. Blaine & Peyton on iZombie. My OTP on that show is Liv & Major, so they’re not a NOTP related to them. BUT I also hardcore ship Ravi & Peyton. They have chem and he is honestly the best boyfriend. While Blaine & Peyton aren’t together yet, they did have a one-night stand, and despite Blaine being the devil incarnate, it looks like Peyton is going to give him another chance, since he doesn’t remember being the devil incarnate, and so no longer acts like his old self, or has that mindset. Ravi & Peyton haven’t been together for a while, and they weren’t when she slept with Blaine, but they were basically on the verge of getting back together when feelings/this news emerged, and….*whines & cries* Blaine is the absolute WORST. Peyton needs to run in the other direction, not straight into his arms.

10) Do you ship any characters that have never met? 

Yes. Lol. Barry & Lydia is my #1 crossover/AU couple. I’d obviously be horrified if they became an actual thing on either The Flash or Teen Wolf, since I hardcore ship both westallen and stydia. But take Iris & Stiles out of the equation? Heck yes. I’m addicted to watching their AU vids.

21) Is there a ship you just don’t get, but have nothing against? 

This is a pretty hard question actually, since every time a couple shows up onscreen - particularly if I end up not shipping them - I always try to figure out why other people would ship them. And much to my chagrin, I’m usually able to be open-minded enough to come up with at least one reason, if not more. I guess the only one that comes to me right now is Emily & Ben on Revenge. I get he was just supposed to be some in-between romance until the endgame couple finally got their due, but I just…don’t get it. I don’t necessarily have anything against it either, it just felt…pointless. And really the poor guy didn’t have a chance. Emily was always going to choose either Jack or her revenge, and inevitably, both.

28) Does shipping come easily to you? 

LMAO. SO easy. You have no idea. XD Occasionally there is a show where I just enjoy the couples but don’t really get invested in them away from having them be a nice decoration for the plot/theme of the show, but yeah. EXTREMELY easy.

31) Talk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love. 

Hmmm. This one is hard as well. *thinks about this forever* Generally speaking, I don’t come up with headcanons super often. I see others, and I go, “oh yes, I agree!” And when I do come up with headcanons, I don’t usually say ‘here’s a headcanon!,’ I go ‘oh look, a fic that I wrote that’s almost 10 pages long!’ lmao XD But I guess - and this one is super generic and I have no doubt I’m not the first to come up with it - is that in iZombie, when Major & Liv get married (which they WILL at some point *glares at writers*), Ravi will be the best man, Peyton will be the maid of honor, and Clive will walk Liv down the aisle. *heart eyes*

39) Is there a fictional relationship you’d really want for yourself? 

I’d say Barry & Iris b/c #1 - they’re epic & #2 - I want a Barry Allen. But I don’t think I’d want quite the kind of conflicts they’ve had dished out to them, so I’m gonna say… H.G. & Jane from the recently deceased Time After Time. There was ofc the time travel conflict (which I really would’ve loved to see resolved!!), but they were just so sweet and pure and that’s the kind of relationship you want, honestly.

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