#it’s a horrible thing. why did someone make such a thing.

[chaosandmarigolds]

me, laying in bed after my 12hr shift:

my gf: remember that ask you got

me: ..

gf:

me: aside from wondering how you accessed my Tumblr I’ve gotten a lot of asks which one. gf: the sad one. me: 99% of them are sad

gf: The REALLY sad one

ANYWAY here we go and bc I am horrible with titles imma go after a song-

Tourner Dans Le Vide

It was a stupid question, one someone would find on a ‘get to know about me’ section of a questionnaire, a small talkish question. But it stung like he didn’t expect it to, so as he stood in the gala, glass in hand, he cleared his throat, “Sorry, one more time mate?”

“Your spouse.” The poor person motioned to the finger that comfortably sat on his ring finger, the gold glimmering in the sunset light, “Are they here?”

You should’ve been here. You had the outfit planned for months. You knew you wanted to get your hair done the day before, insisting that you ought to look nice to represent your family name.

“No, got caught up at home unfortunately.”

“Ah, kids?”

“Two.” Not a lie, you had two young girls you had both adopted, just now he was just the only person within the household, adding more weight to their shoulders.

—

with a huff he gets into the car and then takes off the face mask, scrunching his nose as he adjusted to the cold air, and he starts the car. After a moment he pulls out his phone, expecting a notification from your name above Macey’s, the eldest, yet he was surprised to see none.

so with a hum he makes sure the phone is conntected to the car and begins to call you, shifting the car to drive, it rings….and rings until he is met with-

“hey! It’s me, sorry I’m not at the phone right now, leave me a message and I’ll get back to ya!”

the short automated message follows and he begins to drive home on the darkened roads, until it was his turn to speak, “Luv, it’s Simon, baby I know I was out really late yesterday but I brought the girls some pizza, Macey had her rugby game this mornin- she did amazin. Taylor got an A on her spelling test, so I got her ice cream after school today. What else..mm, the girls send you love. I love you. Call me when you can.”

—

“Papa,” Taylor chirps from her car seat, happily looking out the window, “Papa, when is mama coming home?”

He furrows his eyebrows to the questions and then shrugs, “I’m not sure, princess, I hope soon.”

“did you and mama have fight? Is tha’ why she go way?”

“No no, princess, mama and I didn’t fight- she’s okay, she’s just,” the words died in his throat, because maybe he knew them to be a lie but he would never admit such, “busy. You know how mama works real long hours.”

—

“How’s ya dad?” Johnny stood in the doorway of the ordinary home, peering in from where he stood as Macey stood in front of him- the young girl still in her gear.

to that she shrugs, allowing the man she had learned to be her uncle enter, “fine I guess.”

upon entering the home Johnny noticed your coat still hanging on the rack, even though it was the middle of summer so it mismatched from the girls pink pool towels, he noticed how your mug sat beside the coffee maker, hot water steaming inside- indicating it was just filled. He noticed how your spot on the dining table still had your notebook, pen still tucked where you had left off writing.

he then saw Simon walking down the stairs, and he gave him a grin, “Haven’t been answerin my calls, mate,” with a quick side hug he nudged the man, “Got worried bout ya.”

Simon shrugs it off with a brief laugh, “Got caught up here, with her off at work- got a lil busy.” his heart dropped, and Johnny clears his throat, “Mm? At work she is?”

“Yeah, more like fuckin deployed, never see her.”

it had been close to nine months since a car accident had taken your life, suddenly and harsh, and Simon chose to completely leave his position within the force to stay with the girls. Something Johnny could respect, losing a spouse was a horrid thing but until that moment he had assumed his friend had been taking it in stride. He fell quiet and followed Simon as he said he needed to grab something from the laundry room, so he followed.

His eye caught sight of the master bedroom, lit up by the summer sun (Simon had never been a fan of natural light, unless he was outside) one side of the room messy, clothes tossed about and looking like a proper grieving man’s room, and the other just how would have left it, a glass of water sitting atop a floral coaster, bed still made with the pillows creased just how you do them. The small bottle of perfume still tossed atop of it- as you put it on that morning and threw it on the bed as you ran out the door.

oh…this was not good. This was not good at all.

(um…yeah!! Based off an amazing ask! Comments mean the world to me, toodles!!)

[ilovewanda]

is it casual?

wanda maximoff x reader.

sub!wanda

angst, smut, fluff

authors note: I got a laptop so if my formatting or anything looks different it's because of that. I am going to start writing longer one shots now because I have a computer! I wrote this from a different point of view so please let me know what you think!

I walk out of the bar and onto the streets. a frown is on my face, and my feet hurt from hours of dancing. I notice that my phone is on 4% when I look down and see an incoming call from her. wanda fucking maximoff. I haven't spoken to her since the break up (which was incredibly messy). I try to think of any reasons she could be calling me, none come to mind.

I hesitate for a moment before I decide to pick up the phone. maybe it was the alcohol in my system, or maybe it is due to the fact that I have been yearning to hear her voice for months.

"hello? wanda, why are you calling me?". I am met with silence on the other side of the phone until I hear sniffling which soon turns into sobbing.

"y/n please, I need you here right now, please!" wanda exclaims.

I take a moment to think about what wanda said. I know that if I go over there, it might change all of the healing I have been going through.

"I'll be there in 5." I respond before swiftly making my way to Wandas house. her place was closer to the bar than mine is, so it's less walking for me anyways.

during the walk I can feel myself shiver due to how freezing it is outside. New York always had such unforgiving winters. I curse at myself quietly because I am currently on the side of the street, walking to my ex girlfriends house, with a dead phone, and I'm sure I will wake up with an insane hangover tomorrow morning.

why do I do this to myself? i could be at home in my cozy bed with my dog instead of making bad decisions such as this. the walk felt very quick due to how zoned out I was during the entire time.

I open the main door to the apartment complex and try to get as much snow off of the bottoms of my shoes that I can. wanda always hated it when I would drag snow throughout her house. I make my way up the flights of stairs until I reach the third floor.

I walk down the hallway until I reach her door. I hesitate, unsure if I should knock or text her that I am here. before I can make a decision the door is thrown open and I see a sobbing wanda in front of me. I am unable to say anything before she throws herself on me and wraps her arms around me in a massive bear hug.

I wrap my hands around her thighs and pick her up into a safe and warm hug. I internally cringe at myself after doing this, reminding myself that we aren't together. thankfully, wanda doesn't seem to mind as she melts into the hug.

I close her apartment door with my foot, and walk both of us over to the couch. "y'n, I've missed you so much. I can't go on without you in my life! ill do anything, just please. I need you."

and that's how it all started.

"casual" was the term that wanda liked to use.

basically, whenever she got horny or needed someone to cry on she would call me. and in return I would get to see my ex girlfriend a few times a month.

this has been going on for 7 months now. in the beginning I was thrilled with her idea of being "casual" because I just wanted to be near her. however the feeling of excitement did not stay very long. I quickly felt as though I was being used.

It even got to the point where I would cross my fingers every night that wanda wouldn't call me the following day. unfortunately, today was one of those days. this was literally the worst day that wanda could have possibly called me.

I had a raging headache, and my boss was being extremely overbearing today. her calling me was just one last thing to add to my list of reasons why today sucks. the only reason I agreed to Wanda's plead for me to come over was because I hoped I could tell her about my horrible day. she said she just needed someone to talk to today, and I needed the same thing.

however when I arrived at her apartment and walked through the door, it was very clear that she did not invite me over to talk. she jumped into my arms and began making out with me the second that I walked through the doors.

wanda then jumped back down onto the floor and dragged me into her bedroom as she continued kissing me. she then pushed me onto the bed as she began pulling down my leggings.

"wanda, stop! I'm tired of this! I'm tired of being your fuck buddy! ive had the worst day ever, but you don't even bother to ask before you try and jump my bones the moment I walk through the door! I'm done. whatever this whole "casual" thing is, I want out of it." I say.

I finally look up at wanda who has an extremely red face and is clearly looking very guilty. I scoff before I pull my leggings back up and run out of her apartment. I walk back home in tears as I think about how she has used me. I could have been spending all of this time meeting someone new. someone who actually cares about me. instead i've been spending time with someone who wants to be "casual".

----

after the outburst I did not hear from wanda for days. no texts, no calls, no apology flowers. this made the situation hurt even worse because I knew that this didn't even phase her. i spent a few days keeping to myself. I didn't leave my apartment until I needed to, due to running out of food.

I made myself look generally presentable to go out in public, in hope that it would make me feel better. as I walk out of the door I get a text.

"you left your bag with your work computer in it here. can you come get it at 3?". the audacity that this women has is insane. not even a simple "sorry". she just wants my shit out of her apartment.

I reply "k." to make sure that she understands that I am not happy with her. she always used to hate when I wouldn't type out the word "okay" in my texts. I feel a pain in my heart when I think about the way that things used to be between us. before my thoughts can linger on the past too much I begin to make my way to Wandas since it was already 2:45.

I walk to Wandas house slower than I needed to. I couldn't show up to here house on time after she did what she did to me. I made sure to wait outside of her apartment for 3 minutes so that I wasn't exactly on time. you can call me petty all that you want, but at the end of the day I know what gets on Wandas nerves better than anyone. she HATES when people are late.

I quietly knock on the door, and I hear scurrying feet on the other side of the door. I hear her unlock the deadbolt, and I look down at my shoes so that I don't have to look her in the eyes when she hands me my stuff.

"hey thanks for texting about my bag that was really ni-" I was cut off with a gasp as I looked up and looked around Wandas apartment. pictures of us from when we were together are all around the room. the overhead light is off as the sun pours in beautifully through the shades. there are beautiful pink and red balloons everywhere, and a very nicely set dinner table with two plates and my favorite meal ready to eat.

"come in, sit down!" wanda ushers me over to the table.

I sit, unsure of what is going on. as wanda pours me some red wine. once she pours me a glass of wine, she sits down at the seat opposite from me. she grabs my hand as she begins speaking.

"y/n I am so beyond sorry for what happened last week. I never meant for you to feel that way. I knew I needed you back in my life somehow, and I convinced myself that you wouldn't want to get back together with me, so I figured that there was a chance that I could get you to agreee to something casual with me. I know we said no feelings involved but for me that was a lie from the start and I am so so sorry that I wasn't honest with you and I apologize if you don't feel the same way but-" wanda was cut off as I pressed a kiss to her lips.

"oh, my baby. I have been feeling the exact same way about you. I needed you so badly. I was crushed after we broke up because I never really wanted that from the start. please me mine again? please be my girl." I say.

wanda wasted no time as she squealed out "Yes! Yes, oh my god y/n I've missed you so much. I am so sorry for everything, please never leave me ever again. you're my person." wanda whimpered as she dug her head into my neck with a smile.

wanda smiles at me with tears in her eyes before I roughly pull her into a kiss. ive missed kissing her more than anything in the whole world. her perfect pink lips, and the little sighs she makes when we kiss.

"please, y/n I need you. I haven't felt you in so long. please have me." wanda whines.

I can't help but joke "well that depends, is it casual?" with a smirk.

"fuck being casual, I want everyone to know that I'm yours baby please mark me!" wanda begs with a smile on her face.

I smirk as I rip her shirt off as I pick her up and place her on the table. I look at her perfect tits, covered in a bright red bra. as much as I love looking at her perky boobs in a bra, I so desperately needed to feel all of her as soon as possible.

I take off her bra gracefully, as I begin my attack on her cleavage. I leave many hickeys as I go back and forth between sucking each nipple and marking her up. I've missed having my girl all bruised up, I can't wait to ruin wanda tonight.

as I hear her whimpers and moans increase I decide to move this scene into the bedroom. I lay wanda down on the bed as I pull down her jeans and pull down her gorgeous lacy red thong.

"y/n please be so rough with me. I deserve it. please mommy." wanda whispers in my ear.

her dirty words turn me on even more as I move my way down her body. kissing every inch of skin that I possibly can, until I finally reach her pussy. she is soaking wet. her slick is shimmering in the light and her body is writhing and moving around like a slut who is so desperate to get fucked.

I decide against teasing her, because I am just as desperate as she is. I dive in with my tongue and shut my eyes in bliss as I finally am able to taste her on my tongue again. wanda is quick to moan as she immediately lets her hands fly to my hair.

"I never gave you any permission to touch me wanda, did I?'

"no, I'm so sorry I won't go it again" wanda whimpers at the loss of contact.

"I think you deserve to be punished" I say with a wicked grin on my face.

wanda lets out the sluttiest noise I have ever heard as she sees me walking into her closet to find her box of toys. I search through the box until I decide on the wand vibrator. I walk back over to the bed and tie wanda up with rope. her hands are tied up to the headboard while her feet are tied to the end of the bed.

once she is securely tied up I turn the wand on, and begin moving it all over her body.

"my little rope bunny. you like it when I play with you like this, don't you baby?" I ask wanda with a teasing tone in my voice.

she nods her head and gasps as I let the vibrator run over her perky and pink nipples. then I continue to tease her and move the vibrator down her body until I finally reach her pussy. I hold the vibrator down onto her pussy and turn up the intensity all the way.

wanda lets out a very loud moan as the vibrator sends shocks throughout her entire body. I know her body so well and I know how to have her on the edge within seconds.

"y/n! mama, mommy please let me come, ill do anything!" wanda screams as her body trashes on the bed.

"do you promise to be a good girl for me if I let you come?" I question as I whimper in her ear.

"Yes! Yes! Yes, mommy please please please I'm so close mommy!" wanda shouts.

"okay gorgeous, you can come I suppose" I say as her eyes shut and she yells while her orgasm washes over her. I pull the vibrator away from her pussy so that I don't overstimulate her too much.

"mommy I need to feel you, please fuck me I need it" wanda says quickly after she recovers from her orgasm.

"whatever you want, my needy baby" I say as I climb on top of her and situate our legs.

I position my clit over hers as I then begin grinding down onto her and we both let out soft moans as the euphoria takes over our bodies. both of us so built up after not seeing each other for a while. I lose all self control as I begin aggressively grinding onto her to bring our orgasms closer.

I grab and touch all over her perfect body as I rock our hips together, and I can't stop thinking about how absolutely perfect she is.

"come with me baby, I'm so close" I moan out as I speed up my rocking motion.

Both of us are so close to our releases, and so I move at an inhuman pace in order for both of us to reach our highs. once e hit our highs we scream together as she squirts all over my pussy and lower body.

once my breathing is back to normal and I have come down from my high, I move to untie wanda.

"oh my baby, you were so so good for me" I say as I pepper kisses all over Wandas face.

I pick her up and move her to the couch as I change the sheets. once the bed is clean again and I have the other sheets in the wash I look over at wanda. she is fast asleep on the couch. naked. I giggle at the sight before I pick her up and carry her into bed with me. I cuddle up to her and hold onto her as tight as I can. promising to myself that ill never let her go ever again.

[dippedinmelancholy]

It's so horribly clear SJM was writing off of vibes for the backstory of Feyre for ACOTAR, specifically their downfall into being poor and how Feyre was the only victim, since she hunted. Her narrative is that Nesta is a bitch and Elain is too stupid to realize she should be helping. Oh, and her dad is just like, there I guess. As someone who really grew up poor, poor enough that my family used a washboard at one point to scrub our clothes, grew tomatoes and cucumbers just to have something to eat through the summer, went months in a row with no electricity and the smallest things in the world felt like actual miracles . . . It's such weak writing. You don't hit rock bottom immediately. Hunting alone simply isn't enough. No one can convince me they were just eating whatever meat Feyre brought home, that's not how making food last goes. You make stew (arguably a lot since it's what stretches the most).You don't buy new clothes all of the time, you mend them. You ration your flour, your milk, you trade what you can with neighbors. It's evidence that either Feyre or SJM just doesn't value feminine work, because when you're so poor you don't know if you can eat for the full week, it's the feminine work that keeps your house alive. Additionally, Elain is so clearly not stupid????? Feyre just imagines the worst of both of her sisters. She thinks Nesta is simply bitchy to be cruel to her specifically, rather than Idk, she's pissed at her worthless deadbeat dad and mourning that their mother is dead? It's Elain who buys Feyre the paints, so she knows enough to try and make Feyre happy. In ACOSF, it's CASSIAN who goes on this who tangent about "Nesta was wrong, Elain saw everything and knew exactly why she did it" in regards to Nesta's anger and the memory of Nesta stealing a Duke's heart at 14. So it's not a recent development thanks to being a seer/fae. She's always seen. She's always known. She just let others cater to her. Let others take on the social and physical burdens. Let her sisters put her own happiness and softness above her own. In a better world, all three sisters who be an exploration of trauma responses from the beginning. Instead, they were written to ensure you saw Feyre as the perfect victim, rather than a complex person who doesn't react well, because no one does.

[fairytalewonders]

Also nothing like my usual post, but I couldn't help but think of it.

For those of you that know about Danganronpa, particularly Danganronpa V3, I just had a thought I think might help people understand a character more.

You all know Kokichi Ouma, right? How Kokichi Ouma has a no killing rule in his organization? (Something that is probably important to have when your group mainly goes around committing illegal activities. The longer you do such things, the easier it becomes to do and the lines get more blurred. Which is why the rule probably exists and isn't an unspoken rule but one that's clearly outlined. Because members of the group actually have the potential to do such a thing.)

Well, that doesn't necessarily mean that Kokichi is morally upstanding like some like to make him out to be because all this rule does is ban killing. But everything else is on the table. Another way I just recently thought to put it in-- you know Batman, right? How Batman has a no killing rule? But he'll do everything but kill you? He will send you to the ER and brutally disfigure you if need be, but he won't kill you.

I think that's how people should start looking at Kokichi. Not a pioneer of justice like Batman, but someone who is willing to do everything but kill someone.

(Not that I think Kokichi would send someone to the ER. The fact that I think he was scared of Katio when he punched him makes me think Kokichi just doesn't like violence in general, and has a personal hatred towards the art of killing. But, I think Kokichi would be down for breaking-and-entering, as well as stealing and everything like that. I don't think that would bother him in the slightest.) (Though, Kokichi's seemingly personal hatred to the idea of killing makes me think something may have happened to him, which is a completely different analysis than this one, as such I will not be going into in.

Which, I would like to point out, I also think Kokichi was trying to get everyone killed by Chapter 4. If he figured out they were being watched, he probably figured out they weren't the only people to participate in a killing game, he also probably figured there would be future ones. So to stop the games, he would make it unplayable to the viewers. (In other words, even if he got the rest of his peers killed, they were doomed after the first killing, it was probably better from his perspective to ruin the game and prevent any future games from being held. Saving the future people, instead of his peers basically.) (A choice he and Maki, Kiibo, Shuichi, and Himiko would have ironically shared if that was the case.)

The reason I say this is because I'm frustrated with people making Kokichi this "soft boy" who did no wrong and was only trying to help everyone, or making him a horrible hypocrite with no values. When in truth he's morally grey, was long before he even set foot in the killing game, and was then put in a killing game that would make anyone's morals worse. If anything his actions are an attestment to how much he clung onto those morals and beliefs. (He was far from the only person that's actions that got others killed, and he didn't have the worse motive by far. It shouldn't be swept under the rug, but he shouldn't be automatically worse than every character for his actions just because of a rule he has with his organization. A basic rule that everyone in society has, though it normally doesn't need to be lined out.)

Which, this is just how I view Kokichi, and it may not even be accurate. Just a thought.

[candyskiez]

Thinking about Reigen telling Mob he gets taken advantage of so easily in the context of him being very aware that he's using him. Y'know how depression will tell you "well clearly if they trust me then they're stupid, they just haven't realized how awful I clearly am, how can they not see it." He can't see Mob hanging around him for years as anything other than being horribly naive and gullible, and how could he do this, but how could he let the only good thing in his life go? Like obviously Reigen doesn't mean everything or hell, even most of the things he says to Mob in that alleyway. So much of it is just him trying to tear Mob down so he doesn't leave. But I feel like the fact he targets the fact he's gullible and easy to taken advantage of is very, very telling yk. It isn't the first time he mentions Mob is easy to take advantage of. He says that Mob has a hard time standing up to people. Because he knows this. He knows it very well, and feels horrible about it, but is terrified to lose him anyway. Reigen doesn't mean the vast majority of what he says to Mob, and brings up the gullibility just to hurt him, but like. God is it very telling that he's repeatedly brought up Mob being gullible. He is very aware he's being awful to Mob, he's very aware he's taking advantage of him, and he's in too deep to take it back. And it all starts boiling over as "How the fuck can't you see it. HOW can't you see it. Why do you think I'm good. I hurt you, constantly. I am taking advantage of you. You had to give me your powers. Fucking clearly I don't have any. Why haven't you left me yet. (You're going to leave me soon. You know. You aren't that stupid. You're growing. You're realizing. You're going to figure it out. How haven't you noticed?)"

And when Mob actually starts standing up to him, when in his mind the only reason Mob stayed is because Mob didn't have anyone else and because Mob needed him, he freaks out. And he lashes out horribly. Because he knew this was going to happen but he wasn't ready yet. And it's awful to watch because it's the consequences of his own actions and it's also just. Goddamnit, why did you have to fuck yourself over. That kid cares about you so much. Why did you have to mess it up. Y'know.

And like. I feel like Reigen views himself as inherently bad. At this point, he doesn't see himself as "I am doing bad things, therefore I am bad." He sees it as "I am bad. There is nothing I can do to Not be bad." So he doesn't make much of an effort to change. He doesn't see it as something that CAN be changed. Everything he does is bad because he is a bad person. He had to realize that no, it's not something inherent. He chose to do something bad. Mob didn't finally figure out there was something Wrong with him, Mob got tired of being treated like shit. And he has to ask himself, why did I do that? If there's not something Inherently wrong with me, if I used to want to be good, if I used to want to be important and helpful, why do I do the things I do?

Because he's lonely. Because he was terrified of losing the only good thing he had. Because he wanted to matter to someone, and he didn't want Mob to care less about him now that he had other people. Because he was terrified. And because of that, he'd been selfish. He'd been manipulative and controlling. He'd let his own fears and issues turn him into just another person who hurt Mob. And maybe he can't fix this. Maybe he doesn't know if he'll ever be able to become a good person, or if he'll ever stop hurting people, or if he'll ever get his shit together. But he can say sorry, and hope Mob knows that he was wrong. Mob had grown up. Mob was so much stronger than he'd given him credit for. And he deserved to be treated better than he'd treated him for so long. He hopes Mob knows he's a good kid, and he deserves so much better than life had given him, and he's gonna be okay.

And when Mob comes back for him,he's baffled. Because he was cruel to him. He'd always been cruel to him. He didn't know how to stop. And he doesn't get it. How does Mob not know. He needs him to say it. He needs him to realize, but he's terrified. He needs Mob to yell at him. To be angry. Mob deserves to be angry, he's accepted it now. He knows Mob has every right to never want to see him again, so why would he help him? What does he have to do to make him realize?

Mob knows that Reigen is a liar, on some level, even if he won't admit it to himself yet. But Mob also knows that Reigen tries to do good. He knows that Reigen tries to fix the problems his clients have, and tries to give advice, and tries so fucking hard. He knows that Reigen can be good. And he gives him the benefit of the doubt. Because Reigen can be a good person.

Mob still is unsure at this point if Reigens care for him is real or if he just wants to use him, but he knows that Reigen wants to do good. Reigen tries. Even if he doesn't always succeed, even if Reigen has moments where he acts horribly, Reigen genuinely wants to be a good person. And when given an opportunity to help, he tries to take it.

So Mob gives him another chance. Even if Reigen feels like he doesn't deserve it, he takes it. Because he doesn't want to hurt him again. And he wants to fix this. Reigen genuinely wants to do good, even if he believes he can't.

Anyways, I'm gonna go cry now.

[starlightsuffered]

Monster under the Bed

Info - CNC, monster Timothée, skull fuck, Dom Timmy, oral (male receiving), dark Timothée, supernatural

I'd been up so many nights lately, tossing and turning and unable to sleep. I wished dearly that I knew what it was that felt like it lingered on the edge of my vision.

It wasn't as if this was a new house. I'd moved into the dimly lit apartment three years ago. I'd never felt the presence I felt now.

All I could figure was that I was just feeling a bit off because l'd been on holiday. I'd saved up to visit Europe just like l'd always dreamed. I'd hit up Ireland, Italy, and France. It had been a whirlwind adventure.

Only one thing had been missing. I hadn't had any sort of one night stand or romance. I'd hoped for a couple day fling. Ravaging one another in a foreign hotel room, ordering room service because we wanted to spend every moment we could wringing pleasure from one another.

I'd tried with many a handsome fellow, but it didn't work. In fact, when I began to talk they almost seemed scared. Sure I was American, but that didn't mean I was holding bombs on myself.

I would see a man, and smile. He'd saunter over to me. I would place my hand on his chest or cup his jaw. He would open his mouth and say his name in a delicious accent. Then, it would be my turn. I would open my mouth and whoever I was holding would go pale. They would back away as I uttered my name. Unrecognisable emotion would always fill their eyes. They'd go stumbling away as if I'd screamed at them.

When I got home, I expected to be able to relax. I couldn't. I felt like I was being watched. I attributed it to having been around so many people, and now being alone. However, the feeling was lasting days.

I felt nervous all the time. It seemed like there was something or someone lingering on the edge of my vision.

Whenever I turned, nothing was there. Things were just as they were supposed to be. I couldn't figure out why my skin prickled so badly when I was alone in my house.

I sighed and laid my head down. My eyes were too heavy to keep reading fanfiction. I had desperately hoped that the fluff would make me feel better. I still felt extremely uncomfortable.

I tried to slow the pounding of my heart. I heard a scuffling and I shot up. I looked around warily. I didn't see anything out of order. My head was playing tricks on me surely.

"Just stop y/n, you're being paranoid," I sighed. I flopped down onto the bed.

"Are you?" Came a dark voice. My eyes sprung open. Inches from my face was the most horribly lovely creature I'd ever seen. Something about him was other worldly even if he did appear to be human shaped.

My heart was skipping beats as the feral thing drooled saliva down onto my face. Warmth pooled in my core and I didn't know why or how that was happening. The breath of the monster washed over me. To my surprise it didn't smell rank or putrid. It smelled like expensive wine and cologne and a warm crackling fire.

Suddenly, I was too hot to stay still. I was prickling all over. I wanted to move or to blink away the being in front of me.

"Y-you've been in my house," | gulped.

"Clever girl," he said. His neck cracked as he turned his head to the side.

"Pretty girl," he hissed. His hand caressed my cheek. His skin was cold even though he radiated heat.

"What are you?"

"Oh?" He chuckled. "Not who? What?"

"I-I can tell you aren't real. I don't even know if this is real," I said shakily.

"Oh darling, this is terribly real," he said with mock sympathy. My heart was pounding so harshly it almost hurt.

Blood roared in my ears. My heaving bosom pressed against the lean chest of the beast.

"You let something in when you came baaaaack," he said in an alarming sing song voice.

"What?" I breathed.

"Something dark," he giggled madly. "Something wild, and fierce and immortal."

"Oh," I gasped as his long body pressed against mine.

"I am the madness on the fringes of your mind. I am the devil on your shoulder. I am the nightmare that won't let you go. I am the monster under your bed, and now pretty girl," he cooed and blew air along my neck. "I want IN the bed."

He harshly grabbed my jaw. The creature was beautiful as an evil smile unfurled over his face. He rammed two fingers inside my mouth. I dutifully sucked them.

I was scared but I was excited. I didn't know who this Angel of death was. I didn't know why I wanted him. All I knew was this felt right in the most wrong way.

I felt like Eve taking that first bite of the apple. A terrible pleasure I shouldn't know about overtook my body. I realised he was completely nude.

"How could I resist?" He asked me. "Such a pretty little thing that sleeps so soundly. I watch you, you know."

"You do?" I asked, feeling tears prick my eyes. I didn't know what to feel. I was overwhelmed.

"I can't stop now," he purred.

His hard cock dangled over my mouth. He pried my lips open. He forced his dick into my wet warmth. I whined around the length.

"Such a pure girl aren't you? You don't want this," he teased me.

He grabbed either side of my face. He was ramming his cock into my skull. I was gagging and drooling. He wouldn't stop even if I choked, I could see it in his eyes.

"Don't lie to yourself. You wanted this every moment of that vacation. I clung to you even then. You couldn't make your dreams come true, so I made a nightmare of lust bring me to life."

He sounded wild. He was hammering into my mouth. The way he used me like a doll, had come to me of all people, had chased off every other man, turned me on. I felt naughty and desired.

I arched into his crotch. His long finger tangled in my hair. He was yanking my head up to give himself pleasure.

My throat was being stuffed full of dick.

"You like it!" he hissed over and over. He was grunting and moaning like an animal in heat.

My eyes were full of tears as I tried to take what he pushed deep in my mouth. Spittle coated my chin, I reached up shakily to grasp his bicep. I held him tight to let him know. I needed him to know I didn't resent him. I was thankful for this dark gift of pleasure. I needed to be used and treated like this. I had needed it for longer than I even knew.

"I'm going to fucking poison you with my cum. It will crawl through your veins and infect your body. You'll never feel the same again, and never crave anyone else the same way," he told me. He was grinning from ear to ear.

"I'm going to spill my hot seed down your throat,"he groaned. He was rutting into my mouth. He let out a roar and ropes of cum were flooding my insides. I dutifully gulped down what he provided me.

"Good girl," he sighed and caressed a thumb down the front of my throat.

I didn't remember falling asleep. I didn't remember the man leaving. When I woke up I nearly thought the whole thing had been a dream. However, that feeling of a dark entity was gone. I no longer felt the fear and paranoia.

Instead I felt this deep longing, an ache in my gut. I didn't know which one was worse.

[frothing-at-the-mouth]

Progress on the Robin(s) paper shadow box 👀 Just Tim and the background left to do!

(ID: A photo of a shadow box containing four of the Robins. Dick Grayson!Robin peaks over the left side frame of the forefront grinning. Damian Wayne!Robin leans on the right side of the frame glaring with his arms crossed. In the background to the left, Jason Todd!Robin stands smirking smugly with his hand on his hips, to the right in the background Stephanie Brown!Robin stand smiling with one hand partially up as if motioning in conversation- ID End)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Thank you. I'm sorry.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[dykedvonte]

why do you hate Joshua Graham or Honest Hearts so much?

This DLC and character represents a bigger issue with fandom spaces I have but particularly fallout fandom in general.

Fallout tends to tackle a lot of topics controversial and not. The first two games it’s heavy cause they are the most satirical and direct with how anti-war, nationalism and etc… they are. 3 loses this as it’s very clear once you play or learn about all the games that Todd and a bunch of guys at Bethesda just liked the 50s post apocalyptic aesthetic and refuse to actually critique the ideals of the time period like the earlier titles.

New Vegas is the game that really gets back into it a degree it almost seems like it’s taking too much on. There are things done exceedingly well while other things are done horribly wrong . I’ve made posts about it before and plan to make a big series of posts (it’s a lot of writing) but my biggest gripe is with Honest Hearts and all the gross and white savior esque depictions it has of indigenous peoples. The entirety if FNV does not do the injustices faced by indigenous people correctly on any count. My two biggest complaints are with the Khans and the tribes in Zion but I’ll talk about the former on a different post.

Both characters of Daniel and Joshua are the most accurate depiction of white saviors I’ve seen and I hate how the DLC tries to justify and defend them. The DLC treats Joshua like this man who has repented for his past actions when he is just retracing his steps after his cruelty bit him in the ass. He was one of the worst parts of the Legion and it is all but explicitly stated that if you don’t force him to be non-violent he will turn the tribes of Zion into the legion 2.0. The Dead Horses and the Sorrows are horribly infantilized by both Daniel and Joshua who both use them for self serving purposes guised by religious duty. The White Legs are the horrible stereotype of violent and savage indigenous and I personally think a lot of their interlinking with Ulysses, his hair and Ulysses character in general are distasteful and very telling of how BIPOC or POC where involved.

But outside of the game it’s the weird obsession people have with these characters ideologies and trying to make them seem more interesting/philosophical than they are. Tumblr is an echo chamber and many fans of Fallout are not the people on this site. Many people are not educated in the issues these characters convey and how poorly they do or used these characters as a poor introduction for their takes. Contrary to what a lot of people believe in, fallout has a prediomeny white cis male fanbase. More importantly a large portion of the fanbase is white.

You can joke how FNV made you trans or see the numbers on post/fics or diverse headcanons but these are kiddy numbers compared to the millions that consume the franchise and aren’t in those more aware spaces or don’t engage in the spaces the same way someone like me does/has to. Their views shape a lot more than people realize and it’s exhausting to be in a space where people don’t correct the more subtle yet toxic aspects of it but also adopt them into some weird quirky view point on the characters or issues. Some people don’t realize and some people don’t care.

My main issue is just the idolizing of these sort of thing in this fandom space and people try to acts like a game like fallout whose tagline is “War never changes” and has never had a game not revolve around political or militaristic factions issues isn’t that deep or doesn’t relate to real issues. I think it’s mainly caused by how over powered you can become and how you can strong arm your way past these learning moments as majority of people who play this game do play it as a power fantasy where they can do so as they please (which of course, go ahead it’s fun) but never take in parallels or lessons in the story as if it was just another first person shooter.

Also like another personal gripe is Cazadores spawn like hell whenever I’m there and I have not found a mod that works to mod them out so I have to play Indigenous Racism the DLC while getting jumped by giant wasps WHILE helping Mormons. Like I cannot catch a break.

[calamitydaze]

long tag ramble below u have been warned

[thefandomenchantress]

I think I get what that person is saying about people shrugging Ace off and being hypocritical because there is the part where Ace opens up to Teruko about him being basically afraid of everything and being in a constant state of panic and she kinda just laughs/shrugs it off which is so not cool, it was even before her whole going emo thing /j (sorry that was a bad joke, you get what I mean).

People are constantly shrugging off Ace whenever he opens up or attempts to open up to Ace and I don’t know about most people but me personally in a situation like this, if someone opened up to me and talked about their fears, how they can’t control their anger, or anything like that, the last thing I would do is shrug it off.

This cast just has a lot of teamwork and empathy issues as far as I can see. I do get your point of the characters not seeing as much as the audience has seen but at the same time it does feel like whenever a character does see one of Ace's breakdowns or explanations they just shrug it off altogether.

It is a very complex issue and I just hope at some point someone besides Teruko can hear what Ace is feeling because I think this situation with Ace could be solved/helped with just one empathetic person in the cast hearing him out.

I hope that all makes sense and isn't just a bunch of repeated information and points.

Sorry this has been in my inbox for…a few days, I think? I’ll be honest, the reason I put off responding to it was because I couldn’t really think of anything to say. I’m pretty sure I agree with all your points, for the most part.

I mean, if I thought that Ace was just a jerk who deserved all the treatment he got, I obviously wouldn’t be as obsessed with him and his writing as I am, haha.

Honestly, I do think Teruko shrugging off Ace’s sorta-trauma-dump when he tries to open up to her in the first chapter does say a lot about her and her past, (honestly I can’t believe I wasn’t enthralled with her as a protagonist at first I love her so much). Like, now that you pointed it out I can’t unsee how he’s actually trying to open up and Teruko’s literally like:

I mean I can’t stay mad at her for it because her ‘are you fucking serious’ sprite makes me laugh every time I see it, but still. She is just dismissing him, which isn’t very nice. She’s obviously judging him and not taking him seriously, which Ace probably noticed as his next sprite is one of his angry ones.

Honestly I think almost everyone in the class gets too caught up in their own issues (which is a very human flaw for them to have). I mean, every time one of the characters has a breakdown, I think someone in the cast is finally going to realize what that person is going through and help them through it…And then they just…don’t?

I mean. J is being harassed by Arturo for four days straight and we only see someone try to stop it once, Eden, and she doesn’t do a good job. Can someone please help this this poor effects artist?! I get that maybe someone tried to help off-screen, but since we don’t see it I can’t be sure that happened and honestly I don’t think it did. J has to force Teruko to help her because no one else is trying to, and she almost gets stabbed in the process. And I already rambled about no one helping Nico last time.

All this is to say that the more I think about it, the more I think you’re right. Almost everyone has had a mental breakdown at some point in DRDT (or in Whit’s case complete emotional detachment) and almost none of them get any comfort from others afterwards. Arei did, but David’s motives are…Questionable. Nico did too, but only after things got so bad they threatened Ace’s life.

I should clarify that none of what I said is meant to criticize the dev’s writing. If anything, this shows just how much I love it because can’t think of many other pieces of media where I would have this much to say. DRDT is just so INTERESTING! Every character, every character dynamic, every location and visual and piece of dialogue! Every time I rewatch a scene I find something new to overthink about. I love it so much. :)

Damn. Apparently I did have a lot to say after all. But yeah, I agree with you and you made great points, thanks for your input!

[tasmanianstripes]

People need to practice minding their own damn business

Don't come into people's inboxes giving unsolicited advice or criticizing their personal stuff. Don't reblog somebody's posts saying how much you hate it and their opinions.

Don't like somebody's characterisation, AUs or the kind of art they post? It might even annoy you?

Okay, cool. Go make your own post. Block them. Be a little hater about it to your friends. It's good for your soul!

But don't be goddamn rude to people. Don't make it their problem.

"I don't like what this artist likes mah mah mah"

Here's a wild idea;

Artists...don't need to cater to you. You are not entitles to their work. Nobody on the internet should coddle you and post only stuff you like.

Shocker, I know.

[doublekanble]

Hi. Read your fic WHAT THE FUC- (/POS ITS SO GOOD??) BRUH I WENT INTO IT BEING LIKE "oh I'm just curious as to what this'll be, I'm sure it's just like some short self indulgent thing" THEN GOT STABBED LIKE TWELVE TIMES OVER. INSTANT FOLLOW. OH MY GOD.

its actually IS self indulgent! just in the opposite direction! i want him to kiss me so badly but i also want him to hate me until its all he knows its a bit of trouble really

[hammondb3organcistern]

Don’t wanna be ‘friends’ (using this term extremely loosely) with this one girl i’m in the same cohort/course with…her belief system + the way she perceives other people and the world is so…i cannot think of a better word so: SHUDDERING. but she’s friends with my circle of cohort/friends so she’ll always be in my circle…?

[sadgirlautumn]

As much as I love Gilmore Girls I really wish I could rewrite it because so many choices the writers made me like why would you do this????

[criticaaaaaaaal]