#it’s also two am and I need to be done. now. with a specific project so

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I asked my boyfriend to kick his boyfriend out of our communal living situation and out of our polycule due to “incompatibility”?

submitted 5/22/2024 ~💔🌈🏚️<- to find

I (26F) am considering asking my boyfriend O (32M) to kick out his other partner/boyfriend E (36M) from our communal living situation and our polycule, because E is not compatible with either our relationship or the group as a whole. Here’s the situation: The three of us currently live in O’s childhood home (his parents died and he inherited it), along with four other roommates who are not in the polycule. All of us split the bills evenly, except for E because he was recently fired from his job as a mechanic, so he pays a much smaller amount, which means all of us have to increase the amount we pay in order to keep up. This would be fine except E is not looking for a job and this is causing financial strain on all of us. It’s a large house and it’s very old so it tends to need a lot of maintenance, currently we have to get the roof repaired because a section of it caved in during a snowstorm (that part of the house is roped off because it’s still not fixed of course) and just my luck, my room happened to be on the floor below this, so O has me sleeping in his room because he’s worried floor above my room may have rotted from exposure due to the caved in roof. This will be relevant later. Now, here are the specific reasons why I want E out of here (aside from financial strain):

Everyone in the house is part of the same religious group. We are a neo pagan group (details not necessary for this but feel free to ask questions, but just know that we have some agreed upon beliefs and practices that we’ve developed over the past three years) and many in our group, including O, practice witchcraft. E, however, is a hardcore atheist, and is condescending towards us whenever we partake in our various practices. O thinks that E can be persuaded to respect us and that it’s just a matter of time, but I do not think that’s probable. O is the elected spiritual leader in the house (one: because he’s held these beliefs longer than most of us and brought us together, and two: it’s his house), so only O can kick someone out for religious reasons. We can vote to kick someone for abuse, but nothing E has done is technically bad enough.

He should be kicked from the polycule because I think he is using O either for sex or to make up for something he did back when they were in a situationship. The past between those two is very intense because it’s linked to E discovering his identity and it was O’s first relationship. It ended very badly on horrible terms, but they decided to give it another shot for whatever reason. E had an intense vendetta against me from the very beginning and he thinks that I’m delusional for believing O is in love with me because when O liked E it was “very different”. E has his own bedroom, but spends most of the time in O’s room, typically to have sex. Sometimes they want me to join in with them, but I usually decline because I’m suspicious of E’s intentions and I do not trust him. The one time I did agree to join in led to my unplanned pregnancy. I also think E is cheating on O because whenever O leaves the house, E brings over his ex B (33F), and those two hook up (or at least I assume they do because they lock themselves in the bedroom for hours).

On the cheating note, E has been getting checks in the mail from B, but he hasn’t been using this money to contribute to the bills, but rather stashing it away into a “project fund”.

B is dating my ex A (28F) and I know B has been gossiping to her because A has been posting to her private insta account long rants about “another perfectly good lesbian turned by dicks and witchcraft”, which could ONLY be referring to me because as far as I know, she hasn’t had any relationships in between ours and her’s and B’s. She is radfem and tradcatholic so the statement isn’t a surprise, but she only started posting that stuff After B started coming over, and she was kicked from the house for being intolerant, so it’s odd for her to start ranting about me now.

I think it’s unfair that my ex was kicked out for intolerance while I was still dating her, even though I objected (it was a toxic relationship and I was in deep), but O hasn’t kicked out E despite E also being intolerant and dating one of us.

[ohitslen]

Night doodles to unwind :)

[inkskinned]

hey it's nanowrimo. i have tips bc i've done it about 34 times.

Don't edit. Ever. Stop it. If you just decide to start a new project half thru this one with all new characters, no problem. pick up and keep writing as if you'd already written the first half of that.

"but i spelled it wrong" whatever. "but the grammar" whatever. make it exist first. no time for sense. think like you're working on a typewriter. no backspace. only forward go.

Don't re-read further than a paragraph or two backwards. "did i mention the gun before?" listen - it doesn't matter. if you need there to be a gun there, the gun is there. put it back in once you finish the book.

"i forgot the specifics of X thing i already wrote" whatever. change it, make a note/comment to figure it out later, and just write what makes sense for the moment. "no raquel it's legit the characters name and origin" idc that character is now reborn as Claudius from Elsewhere. it's fine.

only you see your mistakes. nobody else knows. one of the ways writing and dance overlap - only you know the choreography. nobody else will know if you miss a step, so just keep dancing and pretend you meant to do it like that.

it's an illusion that you need to write linearly - from point A to point B to point C. Nah; that's just timeline propaganda. I've written a LOT of books out of order and just reordered them once i've finished. if you have a scene you'd LOVE to write but can't get there yet because of plot, just fuckin write the scene. I've always found its easier to establish "point F" "point J" and "Point A" and then wiggle my way between those scenes.

write what you WANT to write. 230 pages of smut? of well-researched discussion on bread? whatever. the point is to strengthen muscles however you can.

if you miss a day, a week, whatever. not the end of the world. we all have dry days. also time is a myth so u can do this challenge whenever u want.

as soon as you try to write for a specific audience, you kill your voice. you are writing for yourself. stop thinking about how people will take ur book. it don't matter. what matter is u, enjoying writing. i luv u.

play to your strengths. i have characters talk so much because i don't know how to write a plot if it kills me but i'm really good at dialogue so.

i love a flight of fancy. write a poem in there. shift tactics and write in code. keep it fun for yourself.

see what happens if you shift something major about ur main characters - gender, wealth, superpowers. or if you change point-of-view. or if you kill everyone in a big explosion. do NOT edit anything before this or after it. often these little weird one-off exercises teach me what interests me about what i'm working on. it is never what i thought. plus it is a fun way to add like 1k words.

stretch.

it's for fun and for practice. stop doing that project if it's giving you anxiety. once my nano was literally 50k words of half-started stories. just things i tried and tried and tried and wasn't able to flesh out. oops. but i am now 50k words of a better writer.

add dragons?

read books/listen to books on tape/etc. people often make the mistake of "buckling down" to just write. you need inspiration. you need to like. fill up on words. you need to remember how it feels to lose yourself in a story.

i don't have the time or space to really talk about this in this post but a lot of creative people turn to drugs/alcohol because it can help you be more creative. this is harmful, and walking a blade that only cuts deep. if you notice you and your loved ones are turning more to substances, please know i love you and i hope you are able to get help soon. i feel like this almost never gets mentioned because it's kind of a hazy underbelly to art. you are always more important than the work.

on that note. drink your fukin. water.

don't talk about a story until you've finished it. once you tell the story, it exists already, and isn't about discovery. i usually have a very canned "haha we'll see" response.

grapes :) tasty snack.

i love you be free.

[ashensgrotto]

Why, greetings my dear anon! I’m happy that you enjoyed the ‘Poor Unfortunate Souls’ to read it that many times - and I apologized that I haven’t been able to get started on the Scarbia segment yet (between that and Raison D’être plus work & other stories… and GloMas, I really need to get my priorities straight seriously -_-). However, I do intend on working on it as soon as I can so I can get it out sometime this month or in December - I mean, I think that would be the most logical since that one takes place during holiday break, right?

Now, for your request - I hope head cannons are alright for the time being. I’ll try to come back to them and do short stories for each of them that follows the same concept design as “Am I Feeling Love?” - which is the first installment of the Yandere!Azul series. I'm also going to divide this into two parts - about halfway through I realized I hadn't posted anything in a while and thus, I want to make it up to all of you for not writing or posting anything for some time.

Part 1 (Here) will feature Riddle Rosehearts, Leona Kingscholar, and Jamil Viper

Part 2 (Here) will feature Vil Schoenheit, Idia Shroud, and Malleus Draconia

***

Vil Schoenheit

Vil is a combination yandere - he is both a studdle stalker type, but also a projection type. Of course, in his youth, he was an up-and-coming movie star… famous for the villainous roles he played. This caused a lot of grief in his childhood, not to mention some of the trauma he had endured from other children who believed everything they saw on the big screen - thinking it was real, even though it was just special effects and players playing their roles on the stage. And, even though Jack Howl became the closest thing he had to a friend, there was nothing that he could do to shake the fear of wanting to be ‘the good guy’, the ‘hero’... to be the most beautiful of all.

As a junior in Night Raven, Vil and the rest of Pompfiore were just as shocked as the rest of the school when you appeared. At first, Vil was not interested in what you may have to offer - but ever faithful Rook was the one to point out certain features you had; soft cheeks, a creamy complexion, eyes wide and filled with wonder - not to mention a figure that would’ve had some acting agencies dying for; you almost reminded him the the princess the fairest queen had raised years ago. Vil was reluctant, but stepped forward and offered the headmage a place for you to stay in Pomfiore until you could return home. 

It was at this point that Vil realized that you were more than what you appeared. Whatever he asked of you, you did it - to nearly perfection. Scrub the ballroom flooring? It shone brighter than diamonds when you were done. Wipe down the windows? Clear as crystals. Tend to the gardens around the dormitory? Neat and tidy without a single flower or bush out of line. This, of course, caused Vil to backpeddle a little bit - if anyone from outside the dorm found out about how well you followed instructions (specifically a certain lion or scheming octopus), there would be trouble. Hence, Vil decided to try and keep you close, luring you in like the villain he was always meant to play.

He learned quickly that your home in your world was… chaotic. You often traveled back and forth between two families, plus your grandparents. If you had a choice in the matter - you would’ve stayed with your father and your stepmother full time as your mother and her on-again-off-again boyfriend often mistreated you. You were in charge of the cooking, cleaning, and caring for the home while under your mother’s care and were often trapped in her home more times out of the year. Vil had remembered about Niege LeBlance’s situation when the two stars were children - he could sympathize with your situation - and decided to take you under his wing. Vigorous training began shortly thereafter, and you soon found yourself secured under Vil’s thumb. You, along with Epel, were put through beauty regimens regularly, vocal and annunciation lessons followed classes and chores, and fashion and gossip columns replaced your books at night; and if either of you tried to escape or slip out of something, ever faithful Rook brought you straight back to Vil - a disapproving scowl on his face, arms crossed over his chest, and heeled foot tapping, looking very much like a disapproving mother.

With the arrival of spring and the fast approaching date of the Cultural Fair, Vil’s energy became more focused on the SDC - working long hours into the night perfecting the team for the competition. You did try to help sooth much of the stress that had fallen on the headwarden and offered your assistance in any way you could, Grim acting as your assistant under the watchful eye of Rook. It was also here that things slowly began to take a turn for the worst - after the mention of Neige LeBlance, Vil had begun turning to his phone more often, asking it every day who was the most beautiful of all. Mira always answered… Neige LeBlance.

The last straw was when you and Rook attempted to stop him from poisoning Neige, the vice warden ordering Neige to run and evacuate the premises. The other members of the team rushing in at the sound of Rook’s shouting. Vil couldn’t forgive himself for what he had attempted to do… he was as ugly as the poison that he created. If only he was the fairest… if only Neige LeBlance hadn’t walked into his life again… if only you could understand what it meant to be… the fairest one of all…

Idia Shroud

Idia would also be a combination type yandere - possessive and clingy on a short list, with subtle stalker on the longer list. Not that anyone can blame him of course - his childhood was spent in it’s entirety on the Island of Woe, the next Shroud in line to take up the mantle as the Watchman of the Underworld. He, and his little brother Ortho, were the only children that lived in the facility, spending their days playing video games, reading manga and comic books, as well as creating original characters of their own. However, tragedy struck when the two boys snuck out of their room during a routine lockdown and one of the phantoms possessed the younger brother - Idia’s grief and self-blame pushed him away from others, even after he was able to reunite with his brother… in a technological sense.

Years later, during his junior year at NRC, Idia was surprised when Ortho volunteered to bring you into Ignihyde - as many other students were. When Idia demanded an explanation - Ortho explained the scan he did on you indicated that you had a lot of the same qualities as many of Ignihyde's students. What a drag - but what's done is done, and Idia found himself, not only in charge of a dorm, but an unexpected guest as well.

For the first few months, Idia holed himself up in his room - trying to avoid an encounter with the ��normie’ of the dorm; the magicless guest of Ignihyde. Ortho attempted over and over again to get him to come out and meet the new member, telling him all about how interested you were in manga comics, fantasy RPGs, and the like - but Idia always refused… until one night during a routine midnight snack run, he ran into you. You were smaller than he expected you to be, the dorm’s heavy leather jacket baggy over your form - also swapping the typical heavy denim jeans and boots for leggings and slippers. Idia was even more surprised when you offered him a large roll of chocolate chip cookies you had picked up from the school store, a smile on your face, “Hello, I’m (y/n). You must be Idia, right?”

And following that first encounter, Idia slowly began to warm up to you. He was drawn to your sassiness and imagination, especially when the two of you talked about video games - Idia even went as far as to introduce you to his online friend, Muscle Red - the gamer excited about having another runner in the mix for events. 

However, what no one knew was that Idia slowly began to worm his way into your online presence. He hacked into your computer that Ortho had provided for you and watched when you were online, who you interacted with, and what you talked about. At first, Idia reasoned it was a way to get to know you - the best way to find out the internal workings of someone was to figure out about the mask you wore, right? But even so, the real pusher was when he was spying on a chatroom you were a part of and one member began insulting you - saying that you weren’t really a gamer, that you didn’t know anything about online gaming, or anime, and that you were a fake… a ‘normie’. If Idia had been standing next to you, you would have seen his typical calm blue hair turn red hot - hotter than the flames of Tartarus. No one was going to get away with calling his friend a ‘normie’ - magicless or not.

In the months that followed, Idia began to slowly attach himself to you - spending more time in your presence than ever before. Then, when he was summoned back to the Island of Woe to test the students that had overblotted, he brought you along with him, keeping you close as each test was conducted, examined, and recorded. The look on your face and the questions you asked him, yes, brought him joy.. But also made him worry - what did you think of him now that you knew what he was doomed to become? Would you eventually end up like Ortho because of his mistakes? Idia didn’t want to think about that… but even so, to be free of his responsibilities… to not have to be the caretaker of the Phantoms any longer… to reset the world… maybe then, you would be safe…

Malleus Draconia

Malleus follows the same combination style - he’s definitely the obsessive, the stalker, and possessive style. Living in Briar Valley, it’s no secret that as the next in line it is his duty to help provide an heir that will take over for him when the time comes. As his mother and father had loved each other before him, Malleus often wished for the same kind of companionship that they had - however it is hard with Lilia away caring for a young human and Sebek, hence the only thing Malleus has is the comfort of his dreams. He dreams a lot, images of a fair young human traveling through the forests of Briar Valley playing in his mind - Malleus far too fearful to approach.

Many years later - during his junior year at NRC - Lilia informs him of a strange individual that has arrived - a magicless guest that is to be taking residence within the Ramshakle dorm that was on the school campus. Of course, Lilia had known about Malleus’ tendency to spend quiet nights in the dorm, listening to the sounds of the old building creek, the windows rattling against the wind… the silence and stillness of the place. Even so, Malleus does continue to travel to the dorm at night, walking around the premises like a dragon guarding his hoard. One night, however, he encounters you - the child of man with no magic abilities whatsoever - and is surprised by how easily you talk to him, without any fear in your eyes, even more so when you nickname him ‘Tsunotarou’. It slowly becomes a habit for him, heading to the Ramshakle dorm each night daily to spend time with you and talk to you - the first friend he has outside of the protection of Silver and Sebek. 

Malleus often sends Lilia to keep an eye on you, much to the chagrin of Sebek - the elder warming up to you and sharing everything he finds interesting with you with his charge - how you love visiting the other dorms, spending time with Ace, Deuce, and Grim, the struggles you encounter… never mind each of the overblot incidents that cause destruction and harm. Malleus then uses the reports to gain your trust, always lending out a hand to help when needed and offering comfort when there was none to be had. You slowly became his secret treasure - something he wanted to hide away, to protect endlessly until the end of your days.

But still… to a fae, a hundred years can pass in the blink of an eye… a thousand years was just the same way… And when the revelation of Lilia’s powers slowly depleting became noticeable, Malleus became lost for words. He was losing the closest thing he had to a father… and you were close to finding a way back to your world. He couldn’t allow that - he couldn’t lose anyone that was close to him.

When the others attempted to stop him - Malleus easily overpowered them. After all, he is one of the top five mages of the world - his power as a Draconia was more than enough to defeat an army, let alone students in a magic school. With ‘Fae of Maleficence’ casted, darkness covered the school - pulling everyone into slumber and keeping them as they were indefinitely. Everyone could be the protagonist of their own story… everyone could be happy… to live in their current state… and he would never be alone again…

[paganposting]

How I Made My Altar

Creating an altar is something that varies a lot by tradition, but this is a guide on how i personally made and maintain mine. Hopefully this is helpful to someone!

Step One- Planning and Sourcing

In my tradition, there isn't necessarily a huge difference in making personal vs deity altars. As I've heard several of my teachers say- an altar is the place in your home where magic is always welcome. if you wish to add to that by including deities that are always welcome or honored in that space, great! if a deity does request their own specific altar, no problem!

The more complicated aspect for me, is that i feel deeply i must be in right relationship with the items on my altar. Part of this is everything being ethically sourced. All things on this table were either found by me, purchased from a small local business I trust, or received as a gift. These items have been accumulated over the last 5 years of my practice. If you are just starting out and feel as i do about sourcing, you might have a lot of arts and crafts projects ahead.

What aspects of your practice you feel are necessary to represent on your altar? Should you have artwork? Plants? Symbols or sigils?

What work will be done at your altar and which tools should be there? Are you doing meditation that requires a nice smelling herb or oil? Will you be doing spells on it that require big empty space?

Step Two- Find or Make Materials

My recommendation if you don't have the budget to buy a specific dedicated table/ shelf for your altar is to clear a space where you feel the most presence of magic in your life. My earliest altars were cleared off spots on bookshelves and in the kitchen.

Now that you have a list of themes or specific items you want on your altar, go on a nature walk and find things that call to you. Whenever I go to new or interesting places, I keep my eyes peeled for things that might be useful in my practice. Don't take too much, and ask permission from the land before leaving with anything. If the item feels oddly heavy as you walk away with it- give it back.

Step Three- Assemble

The main thing i do at my altar is meditate and pray to deities. Because i view this space as my gods' front door, i care a lot about it looking aesthetically pleasing. I am not part of a tradition where it matters what things go on the left or right, the elements are not associated with cardinal directions, and deities aren't really unsatisfied sharing an altar with each other (even if they may not get along in some lore). Because of this, i just lay things out intuitively, aiming for some symmetry. I also prefer to do spells outdoors, so my altar doesn't need to have a workable space beyond a nice spot to charge things.

Do I feel the need for my altar to have directional correspondences?

Is it important to me to optimize aesthetics?

I work a lot with the seasons, and this is meant to have some nice summertime vibes. With the harvest season coming up, i'll definitely redecorate it.

If anyone has questions please let me know

go n-éirí leat! good luck!

[sentoooo]

[anon: Can you do a NSFW alphabet for kenshi? Cause that man is so fine] THANK YOU ANON THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER !!!!! HE'S FIIIIIINER THAN FIIIIIIIIINE BROOOOO LIKE OH MY GOOOOOOD I HAVENT SEEN MUCH FOR HIM AT ALL!?!?!?!? LIKE I GET HE'S JOHNNY'S BOYFRIEND BUT HE CAN BE YOURS TOO

as i write this i am also actively writing a smut fic for him so oh em GEE thank you for reading my mind anon i love you i also hope you dont mind the projecting im head over heels for this man

cw: amab reader, NSFW, body worship, praise, light bondage, sensory play, blindfolding, breath play, edging, slight mention of orgasm torture, can you tell i have a favorite?, proofread MINORS DNI

ᴋᴇɴꜱʜɪ ᴛᴀᴋᴀʜᴀꜱʜɪ || ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴀʟᴘʜᴀʙᴇᴛ

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Kenshi is a saint. Beyond one, actually. It's almost like he commits the sex to memory. He knows exactly how to take care of you, every. damn. time. He's holding you close afterwards, kissing your forehead. Then he's picking you up, still holding you close to his chest. As he's carrying you to the shower, he's whispering all sorts of praises in your ears, as if you two aren't alone. He also asks you to be his eyes, even though he's remembered the layout of the room. He thinks it's intimate. He also loves washing you up, touch is a big thing for him. He's all soft and slow with it, scratching at your scalp in a very affectionate way, lathering your body up with soap. He loves it when you reciprocate it, as well. Having your hands wander down his body, from his face to his collarbone to his chest, and even further, shit, he's already moaning.

After the shower, Kenshi insists you wear one of his older shirts. Yeah, he can't see it, but he still likes the idea of it. Visualizing you in one of his shirts and your boxers, it almost gets him off. And once you two are laying back on the bed, he's going to give you a massage. He takes his time, even if you complain your tired. He doesn't care, he's taking in every bit of your body as he runs his hands down your back, tracing every single little divot in your definition.

Once that is all done, he keeps you in his arms. He'll fall asleep almost too quickly, but he needs another moment where he can hold you after sex, he wants you to know how much these moments mean to him, and he wants you to know exactly how much he loves you. Just don't kiss his neck, he's sensitive, and he's more than ready to go for another round.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Kenshi's proud of his hands and his arms. He remembers them being big, and shit, they still are. But now, they are his guiding force, and part of the way he sees the world. Of course, Sento offers him vision in the way of spiritual outlines, but Sento doesn't do your body justice like his hands do. He knows your body by fucking heart, love. He's traced your body a million times over, and you're still not over his touch. He knows how much you yearn for it, and he won't ever deny you.

He loves your stomach, specifically just above your dick. He finds it to be soft, and inviting. But he also loves how sensitive you get when he traces his hands from your waist to your stomach. He loves just running his hands up your body, in general. Of course he does. He also loves your thighs. Kenshi is 130% a thigh man, all the way. Especially stretch marks. He loves just running his hands on the inside of your thighs, making you squirm and moan. You always catch a smirk on his face whenever he earns one of your pretty noises when he does this.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He doesn't mind where he's cumming, as long as he is. Whatever you're comfortable with, he'll do. Of course he loves to cum on your thighs if you want him to cum outside. Or on your stomach. He can't see it, but he likes to use that as leverage to show you what he loves about you. And if you're okay with him cumming inside, he's going to fuck his cum right back into you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Oh, he doesn't keep any secrets in the bedroom. He loves telling you all the things he wishes to do with you, to you. He's a cocky asshole in bed, and for good reason. He's always love the thought of you tied up, at his mercy. Or having you ride him till you physically can't anymore. Using a vibrator on you, orgasm after orgasm. He tells you it all.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Kenshi's got the second most experience next to Johnny, I like to think. He's had his fair share of lovers and quick fucks, but nothing quite like you. He knows your body more than you do, he knows that small hitch in your breath when your riding him means you're going to cum, or the fact that your collarbone is the most sensitive part of your body. He's doing you a favor, really. Knowing you this well.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Cowboy, Prone, Spooning, Eagle, he's got a whole arsenal of favorites. But, above all, he loves Lotus. He prefers whichever positions gives you the most pleasure, but he also loves being face-to-face. He loves being able to kiss you, so passionately, full of lust, adoration, and hunger. He loves feeling your breath on his face while he makes you feel good.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's serious. Yeah, he'll be cocky and confident, but he won't crack any jokes or anything of the sort. He's going to let you know you're all his, and just how much he appreciates that. Kissing down from your jawline to your neck is another thing he finds intimate, it's something he does when he's not only needy, but he wants you to know just how much he wants you. Even if he's in you.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He's got some hair. A little arm hair and a fucking magnificent happy trail, but he's relatively clean shaven pubes wise. If he ever thought about shaving his happy trail, you let it be known that you wouldn't fuck him for at least a month.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Kenshi's a romantic at heart. Yeah, he's a devious guy, and he truly yearns for you with a lust like no other, but he's also making you feel loved in every. single. way. He's telling you just how much he loves you, and everything he loves about you. Your hair, which always falls in your face when your riding him, your waist and just how perfectly it fits his hands, your thighs and how warm and inviting they are, all of it. And there are always breaks in the moment, where he'll push his body up against yours, and kiss you till he can't breath. Quiet moments, where he runs his hand through your hair and rubs your thighs, just listening to your breathing. Shit, makes me weak in the knees to think about it.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He's got a moderate sex drive, so if he can't have you, then he's jacking off about four times a week. But, if he can, he'll hold off until he can have you. Especially if he knows it'll be soon. He always has and always will prefer you.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Body Worship. With his sight gone, appreciating your body has a whole new meaning. Especially if you were with him before he lost his sight. Foreplay takes an HOUR, I mean it. He's loving on every single inch of your body, grazing over it with his warm fingers, kissing down your body and back up. He's a tease, like this. But he insists it's a crucial part of sex. And it is. Without it, he almost feels lost. He likes to go over your body as if he doesn't remember it. But god, he does. Sometimes, he can even make you cum like this. By the end of it, you're a whimpering mess, begging for his touch.

Praise is another one. With just how lustful and horribly unfair he is, he likes to praise you for doing such a good job and holding out for him. Waiting for him. He loves getting extremely close to your ear, and whispering "good boy," all breathily.

On that note, breath play is another one that he can't not use. Paired with sensory play, he likes blindfolding you and just tracing his mouth down your body. Breathing soft, heavy. Down your neck, listening as you shiver in delight. Knowing that you are at the same disadvantage as he is at sex, it actually really gets him off.

And finally, light bondage. Having you completely at his mercy, open to him. Even the mention of it gets him off. He loves it when you beg, actually. It's exciting, he always has to take a couple moments to figure out what he wants to do with you. Leaving you whining, begging for him to at least touch you when he's thinking.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

At home, anywhere. He prefers to fuck you in his bed, but he also loooooves it when you ask for him to fuck you on the counter. The bed feels more intimate, and that is where you two fuck the most often. But like I said, as long as it's in the comfort of his own home, he's happy to fuck you.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Touch. All of Kenshi's senses are heightened, but he is just extremely sensitive. When you come up from behind him and place your hands on his shoulders, and trail them down his body, that's almost like a death sentence. Anything you do in a teasing way, rubbing up against him, placing kisses against his neck, all of it. You can always feel his boner rise from his growing lust.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Hurting you. Now, he's all for edging you, overstimulating you, and overall just torturing you with his touch. But anything that could leave so much as a dent on your body is a hard no. It's something he's quite afraid of, actually. He wants to protect you, not harm you.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Kenshi loves receiving. He loves the warmth of your lips, and how they wrap around his cock so perfectly. He's also a little insecure about giving, mainly because he's unsure if he still has it like he used to. But, if you offer oral, shit. He'll practically beg for it sometimes. It's hard for him not to buck his hips, he always tries to restrain himself, but he just can't.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Kenshi will always fuck you slow and sensual. As devious as he is, he NEEDS to take his time with you. Sex with him lasts almost the entire night, really. Don't worry, he'll fuck you till you see stars, but he prefers to keep the mood intimate. You don't mind it, no. He makes you feel good and loved in whole new ways.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Hard pass. Kenshi hates quickies. Like full on hatred, despises them. He needs ample time to love on you and explore your body, he just can't properly get off in any less time.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Kenshi's comfortable where he is, and doesn't really like to experiment. He thinks what he's doing is just fine, and that's that.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Shit, he could go on all day and night if time permitted it. A full session for him lasts the entire night. He's going to make sure you cum at least twice, if not, more. Not just because of his stamina, but because of his yearning and lust for you.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

All sorts. Mainly stimulation ones, like a vibrator wand and a vibrating cock ring. He threw out his fleshlights after you two first fucked. He prefers to use them on you, but to be honest, he also enjoys fucking you with a cock ring. It makes him all kinds of loud. And it's especially pleasurable when he pushes all the way into you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Kenshi is a fucking DICKHEAD. Like the definition of one. Some nights, he feels like edging you. Over and over and over, he likes to see just how far he can push you, until you can't take it anymore. But sometimes, he's merciful. He'll let you cum whenever you wish. However, there are a few times where he needs you to ask him to cum. And if you cum without permission? Hm, He's just not going to fuck you. You can figure it out, baby, you're already on his dick.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Kenshi's rather quiet, but he still moans. All in your ear, sometimes he can't even get proper words out because he's just so caught up in your body and your touch. Sometimes, especially with his toys, he'll get all loud, moaning your name over and over again.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Kenshi is rather possessive of you. You're his, through and through. And he makes it known. Sometimes, he can get a little primal during sex, holding onto you with such a purpose, whispering "mine" with every thrust into your ear. Trailing hickies from your jaw to your waist, he doesn't care who sees. He's not embarrassed. He wants- no- he needs people to know you're all his.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Kenshi's biiiiig. He's a grower, 6.8" in length when hard, 1.9" across. He's moderately veiny, and leans slightly towards the left.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

While he has a pretty high sex drive, it's actually malleable with you. He wants you all the time, yes, but he's also more than fine with waiting. He will always make his lust known to you, though.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

After his aftercare ritual is complete, he's almost out. You can hear his voice drop and get all sleepy, and his movements become more lazy. Regardless, he wants to hold you a little before he falls asleep, so he does. He loves it when you rest your head on his chest, with his fingers running through your hair. He'll pass out after like a minute of that, actually.

[somedaylazysomeday]

Noisy - Part Three

Viktor is going to be busy in the lab for the next week. He comes over to tell you personally.

Viktor x fem!reader

Rating: Explicit. Minors DNI

Word Count: 5,200

Warnings: Arguments, misunderstandings, Viktor has a chip on his shoulder, fingering, unprotected piv sex, discussions of sex with disabilities, creampie

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The knock on your door was a surprise. 

Not that you didn’t have friends, but very few of them worked or studied at the Academy of Science, Technology, and Innovation in Piltover. Of that small group, even fewer of them would come visit you at your apartment unannounced.

Which meant it was probably one of your neighbors. Your downstairs neighbor was a rather bubbly girl attempting to become a professional musician. She studied under a cellist who taught at the Academy - though you had never quite managed to figure out why a school of science and engineering had a concert orchestra. In any case, she helped conduct the orchestra when she wasn’t working with the professor and gave lessons to students in her off hours. 

But given that you hadn’t heard any music coming from her apartment that day, she was probably preparing for the holiday concert that the orchestra was putting on next week. 

That left Viktor - scientist, assistant to the Academy’s Dean, and your upstairs neighbor.

He was also the man you had shared a brief sexual encounter with a few weeks prior. In your defense, you had been trying to force him to go to sleep so he would stop making so much noise late at night. It didn’t hurt that Viktor was devastatingly attractive, but you had really been more focused on the sleep. 

Another knock shook you from your reverie. It was softer, almost hesitant, and you hurried to open the door. 

Sure enough, Viktor stood on the other side. You took a moment to congratulate yourself for your deductive reasoning, then smiled at him. “Hey Viktor. What’s up?” 

He smiled back, but it looked sickly. You watched his thumb strum nervously along the handle of his cane. “I wanted to let you know that I spoke to Heimerdinger and got permission to work late in the lab next week.” 

You nodded thoughtfully. “I know that curfew has been the bane of your existence for a while now. Do you have a specific project you’re working on or is he just tired of you trying to break in?” 

Viktor’s uncomfortable smile turned to a scowl and you fought back a chuckle. Stiffly, he told you, “I do not try to break in, I-” 

A hand lifted between the two of you interrupted whatever he intended to say next. With your most serious expression, you said, “Viktor! I don’t want to be a party to your crimes!” 

He gave a deep sigh. “You are a menace.” 

You finally broke, and your laughter made him smile. It was a real one and you reached out to pat his arm. “There you are. I needed to see you happy, not fake happy. You’re a terrible actor.” 

Viktor rolled his eyes, though he was still smiling. “And to think I was trying to be a considerate neighbor…”

“Go ahead,” you told him. He raised an eyebrow and you laughed despite yourself. “I’m serious! I’m done. Please say what you came here to say.” 

Though he still looked deeply skeptical, Viktor relented. “I received permission to conduct experiments outside of the lab curfew. I will be working late at the lab for much of the next week. I wanted to tell you myself.” 

A realization was tingling at the back of your mind, but like any good scientist, you needed to test it. You kept your face blankly serene as you nodded. “Thank you for letting me know, Viktor. I hope your experiments go well.” 

He looked mildly disappointed. “Thank you. And I hope your week is pleasant. You will not have me around to make noise over your head.” 

“That will take some getting used to,” you teased. 

“And you likely will not see me very often,” Viktor added, ducking his head at your joke. “When I am home, I will be sleeping. And we work in such different sections of the campus…”

You nodded slowly, your hypothesis all but proven. “That’s good to know. I would have wondered if you were avoiding me.” 

“Never,” he denied instantly. 

That made you feel warm, as did the way Viktor stood in the hall, nervously shifting his weight back and forth as his thumb tapped frantically at the handle beneath his fingers. Despite his clear unease, Viktor glanced at you every few seconds, eyes bright and hopeful in a way that you found both amusing and sweet. 

“I suppose I should leave you,” Viktor admitted, slumping slightly. 

“You know,” you started, pausing the half-pace Viktor had taken in the opposite direction. “If you want to sleep together, all you have to do is ask. If that’s in any way what you were-”

“Can we sleep together?”

The immediacy of the question made you laugh aloud even as you nodded and stepped back. “Well, I was in the middle of grading some papers, but it can wait.” 

“I can wait, if you prefer?” Viktor said, in the middle of crossing the threshold into your apartment. 

“No, you’re going to be gone for the next week,” you reminded. “Besides, this sounds much better than slogging through another essay on population ecology. Come on inside.” 

Viktor seemed almost sprightly as he stepped into your apartment, the tip of his cane hardly touching the ground. He looked around eagerly, studying the interior of your living room with such intensity that you were forcibly reminded that he had never seen it before. With that in mind, you did your best to look around with a fresh perspective. 

The furniture was well-worn - all of it was, in this particular housing unit - but you had done what you could. You'd used an assortment of soft blankets to cover stains or tears while comfortable pillows that shielded your back from spots where the padding beneath the upholstery had all but disappeared. The small table in front of the couch bore stacks of textbooks, reference guides, and the aforementioned papers you had been grading. 

The apartment’s small kitchen was visible from where Viktor was standing, a wine bottle and an old dish sitting in plain sight on the countertop. But you were far too wary of pests to allow any kind of mess in the kitchen, so you didn’t have much to be embarrassed of in there. 

Overall, it was a little messy - especially compared to the stark desolation of Viktor’s apartment - but the most notable feature of your living room wasn’t found in the furniture or in the traces of your work that were scattered around. 

You had installed a collection of corkboards and dry-erase boards around the apartment. The corkboards held the results of your latest experiments while the dry-erase boards held scrawled collections of notes and ideas about relationships between criteria. Your goal was to go around and gather those musings once per week so you could erase the boards, but it had been a while and they were cluttered with your handwriting. 

Anyone else might have made some bland comment about your apartment, but Viktor cut directly to what interested him. After moving to study one of the dry-erase boards more closely, he gestured to it and asked, “What are you attempting to calculate?” 

“Well, each board is set up to have its own focus,” you explained. “On that one in particular, I’m trying to figure out why the toxicity in the Sump level of the Undercity is as high as it is.” 

Viktor’s shoulders tightened, but his voice was bland as he said, “Perhaps it has something to do with the large levels of industrial waste and chemical byproduct that moves through or is stored in the area.” 

He was here to fuck, not fight, you reminded yourself. And yet, even after you had taken a breath and bitten back your immediate harsh response, you couldn’t let the implied insult to your scholarly skills go unchallenged. 

You marched to a corkboard on the other side of the doorway, tapping it sharply with your forefinger. “Yes, I realize that, but look at the particular levels of these toxins. They don’t match up with those you would expect to see from anything produced by the plants in Factorywood.”

“No Undercity industries admit to what they are truly producing,” Viktor said, eyes still roaming over your hastily written notes. They lingered on where you had written ‘Silco?’ beneath a particularly strong toxin found in some products from Priggs Industries. 

“”Of course they don’t,” you agreed easily. “But the toxic by-products still generally match up with what everyone knows the factories are producing. From these numbers, someone on the Sump level is creating chemical products in a quantity that threatens the existence of the entire city, not to mention the serious health risks linked to living in the Gray.”

Viktor sighed, his dark eyes meeting yours. There was a deep sadness in their depths, and it made your heart ache to see it. “It is a noble thing to work on a problem like the Undercity’s health. But you will not get far with it. Piltover has more to gain from looking to the future rather than fixing the problems of the present or the past.” 

“You’re from the Undercity, right?” you asked, needlessly. You knew where Viktor was from. Everyone did - it was one of the reasons he struggled to be respected despite his incredible intellect. 

“You think I do not care for where I am from?” he asked, a sharpness in his voice. “You think I would not keep others from enduring what I endured?” 

The sharp thump of his cane against the floor was loud in your living room, but you kept from wincing. With your steady gaze fixed on him, you slowly shook your head. “I don’t think that at all, Viktor. But I also think Piltover will care about these findings, even if it’s just for self-preservation purposes.” 

“You realize they are more likely to clear the Undercity than make meaningful changes?”

That was something you hadn’t truly considered, though you should have. Anyone with a brain knew that Piltover’s treatment of the Undercity had been reckless and unhelpful. 

Still, you lifted your chin. “I will keep that in mind moving forward, but I have to believe I can do something meaningful to help the people who have no choice but to live there.”

Viktor was quiet then, his gaze fixed blankly on the dry-erase board in front of him as his thoughts consumed him. Eventually, he tilted his head to give you a sidelong look. “Why are the boards next to doorways?” 

You smiled despite yourself. “Sometimes, I get flashes of inspiration if I only catch a glimpse of a problem. Something about seeing the information as I walk into and out of a room when I’m doing another task makes me think differently about a problem. That’s why the boards are everywhere, too - so I can write down what I’ve thought of before it has a chance to get away.” 

“It is a good idea,” Viktor admitted. 

“The Academy has plenty more boards and you definitely have the space for them,” you teased. 

The ghost of a smile flitted over Viktor’s face and the odd tension disappeared. "Perhaps I should look into having some installed. They certainly seem to be helping you." 

You made a face at him, but there was no real antagonism in it. “I have to admit, I’m surprised you’re so interested in the boards. I thought you were here for other things.” 

Viktor’s gaze sharpened as he turned to face you, but his tone was light as he retorted, “Talking about your research findings doesn’t put you in the correct frame of mind? I would have thought better of such a respected scientist.” 

The unexpected teasing brought a delighted laugh to your lips as you gave a shallow bow. “I don’t think anyone thinks of me as a respected scientist, but I appreciate the sentiment.”

“I happen to have a great deal of respect for you,” Viktor said, the effort ruined somewhat by the way he was focused on your lips. “Can I kiss you?” 

“So much for respect,” you said, leaning eagerly toward him. Viktor was smirking when his soft lips pressed against yours. 

The first time you had kissed, Viktor had been hesitant. When he had gotten over his own discomfort, the depth of his need became apparent, but not before that. This time, his intensity was immediate. After a split second of softness, Viktor’s lips firmed and he used them to part yours so his tongue could slip into the space between them. 

Viktor tried to pull back at the surprised noise you made, but you weren’t having it. Your hands fisted in the front of his vest, keeping him close as you responded to his explorations with some of your own. Viktor was exceedingly sensitive, and you teased as many reactions from him as you could manage before you parted for air, both of you panting. 

“There is such a reaction when we kiss,” Viktor mused, almost to himself. “It cannot be simple chemistry.” 

“I don’t think there’s anything simple about it,” you countered wryly. “Besides, why can’t it be chemistry? Everything else is. Every smell or taste or touch… Chemistry is how we understand and interact with the world around us. Why should kissing be any different?” 

“You are being deliberately obtuse,” Viktor muttered, mouthing butterfly kisses over your jaw and down the side of your neck. You were swaying into the sensation when his lips parted to deliver a sharp nip to the tender skin. You groaned, but didn’t move away. 

“See?” Viktor asked. “Why should that feel pleasant? Simply because of chemistry?” 

“Dopamine, serotonin, and oxycontin,” you informed him. “They’re a strong combination.”

He rolled his eyes, but leaned in again, working his way back up until he could meet you in a furious kiss once more. It managed to be more intense than the first, though both of your attention was split. Viktor was ruching your shirt upward while you were doing your best to unbutton his vest. 

“Your skin is so soft…” he murmured, and you felt like you were on fire. 

Perhaps that was why you forgot yourself, giving his vest a sharp yank. Buttons scattered across the floor and Viktor gave a disbelieving laugh. You offered an apologetic look. “This would be much easier if you didn’t insist on wearing fourteen layers at all times.”

“You are right; that was my fault,” he agreed. You smiled, though it turned to a startled laugh when his fingers tickled up your ribcage. You probably would have protested more vocally if you hadn’t been so relieved at his pulling the shirt over your head. 

“No,” you said decisively, pushing his hands away. Viktor immediately withdrew, looking apologetic, horrified, and confused. “You don’t get the easy job. I’ll take off my own clothes and you deal with all of the buttons.”

Viktor’s eyebrows arched so sharply that they approached his hairline, but he obediently began to undress himself. You made short work of your own outfit and took a comfortable seat on the couch. The soft texture of a blanket teased at your buttocks and the backs of your bare thighs and you luxuriated in the feeling. Perhaps you should lounge around your apartment in the nude more often…

Then Viktor was approaching. He was completely bare and your breath caught at the beauty of him. He was pale, all long-limbs and angular joints. Dark freckles and moles dotted his skin, almost artistic in their placement. Instead of looking small and frail, Viktor put you in mind of a sculpture. He looked like a piece of ancient artwork, perfectly formed to capture a human emotion you recognized, but couldn’t quite verbalize.

The thatch of hair at his pubic bone was dark, eye-catching surrounded by the stretches of pale skin. His cock rose from that darkness, proud and erect, the slightest hint of an upward curve that promised to do delicious things inside of you. 

Before Viktor could come too close to the couch, you stood and motioned for him to turn around. “Let’s go to my room. I want us to be comfortable.” 

When he nodded, you led the way to your room. It was plain compared to the rest of your apartment. You tried to keep the most chaotic parts of your work away. Bedrooms were for sleeping, not thinking, and you did your best to keep the two from being combined in your mind. 

But there were still touches of your personality spread around. You had specifically requested a bed that was larger than average. There were pillows scattered at the head, each one a slightly different softness so you could use whatever pillow you needed for each specific day. They were matched by different blankets across the lower part of the bed. Each one was made of different fabrics, but all of them felt like heaven against your skin. 

You stepped toward the bed, but froze when Viktor let out a soft chuckle behind you. “What?”

Viktor gestured toward the bed with his free hand. “It seems they have allocated my returned bed to you.” 

It took a moment for that to sink in, but then you belted out a laugh. “Thank you for your sacrifice, then. I hope to give you a glimpse of what you gave up.”

“It has a better life here than I could ever give it with me.” When you looked at him, Viktor was studying your body with obvious admiration. 

Before you could tell him how utterly cheesy that was - no matter how charming you found it as well - he stepped into kissing range. Well, you had always heard it was better to show than to tell…

This kiss was no less demanding than the last had been. In fact, each touch seemed to increase in urgency, building toward a precipice. It was exactly what you wanted from someone you were about to sleep with, and you started to get impatient with the teasing touches. 

“Any-” kiss “Any preference?” kiss “For position, I mean.” 

Viktor looked dazed, drunk on your lips, but a concerning thought jarred you from your self-satisfaction. “Wait, this isn’t your- Is this the first time you’ve done this?” 

He frowned at you, color rising high on his cheekbones. “Did you not ask this the last time?”

“Did I?” Honestly, as much as you had thought about that night in the time since it happened, very few of your thoughts had centered on the conversation you’d shared before your focus shifted to other things. “And what was the answer?”

“No, believe it or not,” he grumbled. “I have managed to find at least one partner before you.” 

“Oh, good.” 

Viktor’s eyebrows shot upward at that. “Not quite the reaction I had expected.”

“Sorry,” you offered instantly, hoping you hadn’t hurt his pride. Viktor seemed a little sensitive about his self-image. “I just meant that I’m glad you found someone you wanted to share this with in the past.” 

“How magnanimous,” he said dryly. “But I would prefer if you wanted to share this with me now instead of asking if I am virginal.”

“Virginal?” you asked, nose wrinkling. “Am I an 18th century lord? I don’t care if you’re- ah!”

With a well-placed push, Viktor had sent you sprawling across the bed. The sheer number of blankets over the mattress meant that the impact was so minimal that you hardly noticed it, but you still took a moment to blink up at Viktor in surprise. 

For his part, Viktor looked so self-satisfied that his expression verged on smug. He stepped up to the edge of the bed and stooped to lean over you when you remembered your original point. 

“Wait, I was asking for a reason,” you protested. 

A look of genuine irritation crossed Viktor’s handsome face. “No, you are not my first.”

“Not-” You took a second to give a silent laugh. “Not that. I meant about positions. Do you have a preference?” 

“Not in the slightest,” he assured you. “Now, if you were to ask for my preferences on when we get together, I have several strong opinions-”

“And your leg will be okay?” you asked softly. Viktor paused. “I don’t want this to hurt you.”

“I am not so delicate,” he said. “Any further objections?” 

“Only that you’re not already inside of me.” 

The stunned look on Viktor’s face at your tongue-in-cheek answer was a glorious sight to see. But it was fleeting; only a moment later, his jaw firmed with determination and he crawled onto the bed. Most of his weight was supported on his arms, planted firmly on either side of you, and the weight that remained on his legs didn’t seem to bother Viktor in the slightest. 

So you didn’t feel bad for losing yourself in the sensations. 

Perhaps, given the nature of your first hookup, you shouldn’t have been shocked that Viktor would want to explore. He sucked a mark over your collarbone, and you could feel his smile at the noises it pulled from you. When his clever fingers dropped to your breast, you froze under his touch. Viktor finally pulled away from the tender place on your skin, but only so he could study every microexpression that crossed your face at the feeling of his fingers on the sensitive peak. 

When he finally pulled away, you arched into his retreating touch. Viktor managed to soothe you into lying against the bed once more. That made it far easier for him to lower himself onto top of you, his hips pressing squarely between your thighs. Suddenly, losing his hand on your breast felt like a fair trade. 

When those talented fingers drifted down to your core, you wriggled impatiently. “I’m ready, I promise. Please, Viktor…”

He looked conflicted. “I know. I will give both of us what we want in a moment. But I- I need to feel you.”

Any further arguments you might have made faded away with the feeling of his long finger sinking into you. Your body accepted him easily, so easily that you might have been embarrassed by it if you weren’t so relieved by the feeling of something to grip with your desperate muscles. 

Viktor withdrew his finger far too soon. You groaned when he studied it for a moment before putting it in his mouth. Then you were groaning together and your core clenched so sharply that it took your breath away. 

“Viktor-”

He gave a decisive nod, lined the head of himself up with your entrance, and began pushing inside of you. As if your body was angry at having lost your previous stimulation so soon, the muscles of your channel contracted around his length. In fact, they spasmed so hard that Viktor paused. 

“Am I hurting you?” 

The real concern in his voice was sweet, but you were nearing desperation. “Only because you’re going so slow. Please, Viktor…”

He gave a stuttered half-thrust into you, clearly trying to stop himself before he drove too hard into you. With a crooked smile, he said, “Have I ever mentioned that I enjoy hearing you say my name?” 

“No, but I can do better than that,” you offered. “Start moving now and I’ll scream it for you.” 

Viktor’s eyes widened and he started a series of pulsing thrusts, each one driving himself a little further inside of you. When he was - at last - as deep as he could be, you both paused to soak in the sensations of it. His hips were flush against your ass and one of you was throbbing. You were too close to know which of you it was. 

Most of your focus was on the realization that you had been right: that slight curve of Viktor’s length was in exactly the right place to press against your g-spot. The delicious pressure of it made your toes curl and you lifted your hips in an effort to urge him deeper. 

When you remembered that your eyes worked, you smiled a little to see the intense concentration on Viktor’s face. Your hands smoothed down his back and when they were as low as you could reach, you pulled him closer, urging him into motion.

For someone who had a tendency to be oblivious, Viktor took the hint beautifully. With an audible sound from where you were joined, he pulled out. His motions were achingly slow, but he thrust back in before his head could leave you entirely. This push of his hips was made up of more mini-thrusts. The next only had a few. Then he was driving full-force into you at a pace that took your breath away. 

And his. 

Getting a little winded during sex wasn’t exactly uncommon, especially when things were as heated as they were with Viktor, but it worried you. The legs you had wrapped around his waist - though you couldn’t remember exactly when you had done that - could feel tremors wracking the right side of his body. They seemed to stem from his weaker leg, and it was quickly growing more severe. He was frowning, and while it seemed to be mostly concentration, there was more than a hint of genuine pain buried in the wrinkles of his forehead.

“Viktor,” you started, cutting off with a low cry when he slammed into you. “Viktor, wait.” 

It took another half thrust for your request to filter through the fog of good sex. When it did hit him, Viktor slowed, though you could see the strain of it in his muscles. “What is it?” 

“Roll over,” you said. “I can tell you’re hurting.” 

An expression of displeasure crossed his face. “I told you: I am fine.” 

“You aren’t,” you argued, watching his face turn incredulous. “Viktor, I can see it. It’s not a bad thing. I like being on top.” 

“I don’t need you to pretend you know what’s best for me!” he snapped. 

Arguing with someone who was currently buried inside of you was a new experience. From the stubbornness in Viktor’s eyes and the set of his jaw, he wasn’t going to let you win. You would bash yourself to pieces against the stone of Viktor’s personality. But maybe you could try a different tactic…

“Please, Viktor,” you murmured. “I promise, I’ll still make things feel good for both of us. Just let me do this. Let me take care of both of us, even if you don’t need me to.”

You watched him think that over. A direct and combative approach wouldn’t get anywhere with Viktor, he had spent too much of his life fighting. But the one-two punch of logic and emotion helped you get through the walls he had built around himself. 

He didn’t agree verbally - that would be too much like admitting defeat. But he carefully withdrew from you and settled onto the bed beside you. When you realized what was happening, you scrambled upright and straddled his thighs as soon as he was fully horizontal. 

The brief pause had done strange things to your libido, but it came roaring back as soon as you saw Viktor lying beneath you, his body still hard and eager and shining with remnants of you. 

You sank down onto him so quickly that it pulled a startled noise from both of you. And then you were moving, surging up and down so quickly that the muscles of your legs started aching almost immediately. That wasn’t enough to stop you, not nearly, especially when you saw the stunned pleasure on Viktor’s face. 

You rested your hands gently on his chest, using him more for balance than a true counterpoint, but Viktor thrust his hips sharply. The force of it knocked you off balance, pushing you forward until you were braced against him. 

His hands covered yours, keeping them planted over his heart. You glanced up at him, unsurprised to see Viktor’s intense gaze fixed on you. “I will not break.” 

You nodded, taking the low promise as truth. With the additional weight resting on your hands, your legs lifted you far more easily, working up and down on his shaft. Pressing your hips backward let you brush your clit against the thatch of coarse hair at Viktor’s base, but it also pressed that slight curve against your g-spot. Your inner muscles tightened so hard and fast that Viktor made a shocked noise and you started having trouble keeping your rhythm. 

“Are you close?” he asked, chest rising and falling more rapidly under your hands. 

You didn’t quite trust your voice, so you nodded again. He nodded with you. “Me too. Where-?”

“Inside,” you interrupted. You used birth control for several reasons, but sex actually wasn’t one of them. Having someone come inside of you wasn’t a sensation you particularly enjoyed, but you were close and pulling out was always tricky when you were on top. And Viktor felt so good…

His eyes widened. “Are you-?”

Before he could ask if you were sure, you had fallen over the edge. You fingers curled against Viktor’s skin, legs tingling so badly that you almost stopped moving on him. But as if your body was willing to circumvent your brain to keep the stimulation going, your legs and hips and torso kept going. You were moving up and down and forward and back all in an effort to chase the incredible pleasure that wracked your body and made your movements stutter.

Somewhere in the middle of your orgasm, Viktor reached his as well. He stiffened under your hands and between your legs, thrusting into you to drive you both higher. You felt his length twitch and pulse inside of you, along with a general sense of warmth as he spilled. 

When the incredible flood of endorphins began to fade, you collapsed like a puppet with cut strings. You slumped forward onto Viktor’s chest with him still buried deep inside of you. His hand came to rest on your back, stroking your overheated flesh. You stayed like that for a long while, your ear pressed to the reassuring sound of his gradually slowing pulse. 

“That was incredible,” he said eventually. His voice was low, but the awe in it was unmistakable. 

“It was pretty good,” you agreed. 

A displeased noise escaped him and you lifted your head to look at him, wincing at the way your sweaty skin had stuck to his. “What’s wrong?” 

“There is a considerable difference between ‘incredible’ and ‘pretty good’,” he told you, the disgust clear in his voice. 

You were already smiling at the way ‘pretty good’ sounded in his accent. “Sorry, I meant it was the single most mind-blowing experience of my entire life. Is that better?” 

Viktor hummed, but his amber eyes sparkled down at you. “That seems like a lie. But it is fine. We can work up to incredible.” 

You chuckled at that, and Viktor pressed a kiss to the back of your hand as you settled back against him.

---

Author's Note - You'll note that this isn't a two-part fic, but there will be another Viktor fic this Fanfic February because I had two ideas that I liked.

Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you thought!

[seyaryminamoto]

Fic-to-Art #38: Ozai carries Azula to the physicians' wing

This has been done for A WHILE now, but I didn't post it because the past days have been chaotic and not just on a personal level. For one thing, I really wasn't eager to drop this when people were losing their shit massively over the liveaction and its recontextualization of Azula and Ozai's dynamics, I didn't look forward to releasing this just to be told that whatever I've done in my story is somehow wrong, sooooooooo... that held me back, for a few days.

Then? The AI-Tumblr deal started to be talked about and I may or may not have freaked out about that too. Sooo... this is the first glazed and nightshaded piece of my creation, as consequence. The original, clean and proper version is available in my Patreon. Is this me being a dick to Tumblr-only people? Unfortunately, it very much isn't, I'm not trying to say that if you want the best iterations of my art, you should pay me for it... this is squarely, entirely, at staff/the CEO's feet. Obviously, there's the insecure side of me that goes "what makes you think they'd steal YOUR art when there are so many better artists out there!" but ultimately? AI is about taking everything en masse. It isn't a matter of developing a criteria about who makes the better art... it's just taking EVERYTHING and trying to repurpose it in whatever twisted way it needs to. Therefore? I think my choice is more of a matter of caution than anything else. Once AI bullshit dies out (and I really hope it does), we may just return to the same level of quality across all my accounts. For now, it is what it is.

ANYWAY! Point is this artwork is very much what my Patrons happened to vote for this month, a very shocking scene where Ozai reacted in the least foreseen way to Azula being attacked. Azula's confusion/terror comes from a place of not knowing what to do and being powerless to stop her father even if she doesn't feel comfortable with his help... but for once, Ozai isn't making a dreadful choice that will only devastate his daughter. He's actually worried about her health... and feeling genuine guilt over what landed her in the situation where she was in danger in the first place. Yes. I like me my complex Ozai who finally learned actions have consequences. He bores me to death otherwise :') if anyone STILL doesn't know that this whole situation is Gladiator-specific, then I shall clarify fully: this is artwork based on my fic. It's about a story that has been developing these characters for ALMOST ELEVEN YEARS now. It has nothing to do with whatever's going on in canon or in the liveaction, the scene in question was written almost two years ago and the artwork proposed and voted for several days before the liveaction aired. Ergo: there is no connection between this and that. Nor am I saying through this piece that Ozai is a good father. He is not. He can still be an interesting character to work with on a narrative level anyway :')

Alright. With that out of the way, hope you guys like this piece! The big one I haven't posted is ALSO finished, also glazed and nightshaded, but I think I might just end up posting it on the 26th if I don't have time to do anything big for our eleventh anniversary... yep, I'm so busy I don't even have a huge project in mind this time. Also? I have a lot to write and I'm finally happily writing it, and I would like to continue doing that...

Anyway! If you would like to be part of the creative process behind this piece, as well as see it in its proper, OG, less color-bleeding clunky version? A $1 Patreon pledge gives you the chance to join in suggesting prompts, voting for them and reading Gladiator snippets 6 days before a new chapter is released!

[angstywaifu]

The Lost Sister - Part 15

Synopsis: Xaden is known as an only child due to his sister who 'died' during the Rebellion. Little do they know she didn't die and has been so close this entire time.

Garrick Tavis x OC The Lost Sister Masterlist | Masterlist

I could still feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment as I made my way up to the flight field. Imogen’s question had caught me off guard. She had merely laughed at my reaction of going wide eyed and my cheeks turning a deep shade of red that almost matched my hair before releasing my arm and turning back to her food.

Now dressed in my new flight leathers, I was ready to get that interaction out of my head by going for a flight on Mealladh. I knew Kaori would push us today, see if we we’re really fit to ride our dragons. With the bonds still so fresh, it would be easy for a dragon to sever the bond and find another out of the forty one unbonded. As I stand in front of Mealladh next to Tairn and Violet, I can’t help but notice the looks and whispers the other cadets give us. As well as the wide berth. You could easily fit another dragon or two between us and the next dragon. The only other dragon I had seen that was bigger than ours was Melgren’s. The only other black dragon. I had never seen his dragon around others, but I almost knew the other dragons would give him a wider berth as well. Kaori confirms my suspicions on the unbonded riders as he projects his voice to us. They would definitely kill to be in our position. And right now Violet and I had the biggest targets on our backs with both dragons not being known to be up for bonding yesterday.

You have nothing to worry about little one. I will make sure that doesn’t happen. Though you are more than capable of protecting yourself. Mealladh says through the bond.

I’m not who I am worried about. I say back as Mealladh looks over to Violet and Tairn.

Tairn will look after her. Don’t forget she also has Sgaeyl and your brother to look after her. That bond ties them all together. She tries to assure me.

And that’s what worries me more. Her life is tied to his, and his to hers. Keeping her alive is also my business.

I can’t see her, but I can tell she has nodded by the movement of her shadow and can feel her approval of my words through the bond. Kaori says our bonds are at our weakest, but right now my bond to her feels so strong. Every time I centre myself as Melgren and the teachers assigned me taught me, I can see her there as if she’s always been there. And if I tug at it, it feels strong and stable.

Kaori’s speech drags me from my thoughts. “Now, we’re going to mount, then follow a series of specific manoeuvres your dragons already know. Your orders are simple today. Stay in your seat.” As he finishes he turns and runs towards his dragon, making the vertical climb to mount.

I walk forward and turn, running as fast as I can and climbing Mealladh’s leg with ease. I turn to watch Tairn kneel for Violet. He was adapting to her needs. He would know how weak she was through the bond. I see the other dragons look at him as if shocked at what he is doing. Any other dragon would have made her climb the normal way. Deemed her not worthy of being a rider. But Tairn had. Kaori’s dragon launches into the sky, Tairn following close behind, and Mealladh following. Not long into the ride after following a few of the manoeuvres, I hear a distance scream. The first of many riders to lose their spot today. Something tells me their dragon had not tried to save them. As we bank left my heart nearly jumps out of my chest as Violet falls from Tairn’s back.

She’ll be fine. Watch. Mealladh says to me, obviously sensing my distress.

And watch I do as Tairn catches her in his claws, placing her back on his back. He had not done what the other dragon had done with their rider and watched them fall to their death. Throughout the ride I watched multiple times as Violet looses her seat. To the point I almost don’t even get phased by it. Tairn catches her every time. Tairn saves my brothers life every time.

By the time I’m walking of out of history I feel like I am dragging my feet. Flight training this morning had really taken it out of me followed by gym. And I could tell my class mates we’re the same. The professor must have taken pity on us as they let us go nearly 10 minutes early. I’m so exhausted I don’t even hear the footsteps behind me and my loud yelp echoes off the walls of the corridor as a hand settles on my waist. A familiar laugh fills my ears, and I turn to see Garrick looking down at me.

”Sorry didn’t mean to scare you.” He says with a smile as he pulls me into his side, his hand resting on my waist

”It’s ok.” I tell him with a smile as I lean into him. “Didn’t hear you with how exhausted I am.”

”I’ll go easier on you next time.” He teases, his laughter echoing off the walls as I playfully smack his chest.

”You are not the issue. It’s the flight training followed by gym that’s kicked my ass today.” A yawn escaping my lips as I finish my sentence.

”Well from what I heard from Kaori, you nailed flight training. Told Xaden and I you nailed everything he put you through. Don’t think I’ve ever heard him praise a first year like that, especially not on their first flight training class.” He tells me proudly.

He leads me over to the wall as my squad heads inside the classroom for battle brief. We still had plenty of time and I knew Rhiannon or Violet would spare my seat for me. I rest my head on his shoulder, taking relief in the few moments I have before going into another class.

“Hopefully he doesn’t praise me too much. I don’t need a bigger target on my back.”

Garrick shifts next to me and I don’t need to look to know he would be looking at me confused. “What is that suppose to mean? Why would you have a target on your back?”

I open my eyes and look at him. “You know exactly why. It’s the same reason Violet has a target on hers. Our dragons and Xaden. I saw the way you looked at us at breakfast. You’re worried. Both of you are.”

The way his shoulders sag tells me I’m right. And when his eyes meet mine it confirms it anymore. His face hides his emotions but his eyes scream worry for what’s happened.

”Yes, we are. But we have it under control. Nothing is going to happen to either of you. We’ll make sure of it.” He assures me, his hand squeezing my waist.

”I can handle myself.” I tell him sternly.

He chuckles. “I have no doubts about that. But we’re just going to definitely make sure it doesn’t happen.”

”And how do you plan on doing that?” I ask.

He looks around as the rest of the quadrant starts arriving for battle brief. “Just trust me ok?”

The comment hurts, and I know he sees me slightly recoil at it. “I do Garrick, you know I do. But I’m not that little girl who doesn’t know how to defend herself.”

”I know you aren’t. But you just gotta let me and Xaden handle this.” He tells me sternly as his eyes scan the hallway.

His gaze hardens and I look over to see Xaden standing next to the door to battle brief. Xaden had told him not to say anything. The way he was looking at Garrick said it all. They had a plan and I wasn’t to be apart of it. Xaden was his wing leader, and he would do as Xaden said.

”Fine.” I admit with defeat, but he knew I wasn’t buying it. “Will I see you tonight?”

He smiles down at me but it doesn’t meet his eyes. “I’d love to but Xaden and I have something to do. If I’m not back too late I will come by.”

Another hidden truth. I watch as he nervously swallows as I scan his face and look between him and Xaden. Even Xaden looks nervous at the interaction. But I know if I ask Garrick won’t budge.

”Fine, don’t stay out too late.” I say before slipping out of his grip and walking past Xaden into battle brief.

I don’t miss the look the look the two of them share. And Garrick did not come to my room that night. Part 16 Tag List: @riorgail @going-through-shit @fw-gt @bbkissme99 @xceafh @leptitlu

[cer-rata]

I did it, I finished the fic.

Cover by the amazing @nicodrawings

It's 109k and fully complete, welcome to my oc's first cursed, sappy adventure.

"Heart of Gotham"

Fandom: Detective Comics

Rating: T

Summary:

Conrad Bishop thinks he knows who he is: A nerd, a goof, a coward. But heartbreak comes along to destroy that version of him. As he shatters, an alien ring decides that the depth of his pain has the potential to forge him into a potent Star Sapphire. While grief may be a devastatingly powerful form of love, can he survive on it alone? Maybe not. But it’s what he thinks deserves.

Everyone thinks they know who Damian Wayne is: A prince, a pariah, a hero. The truth is worse. No one thinks he’s easy to love, and he agrees. It’s fine. He doesn’t need it, he’s got duty and a body to spend in service of it until there’s nothing left to hate. But sometimes? Sometimes he wonders if that’s all he can be.

By chance they share the same science class, and--for better or worse--that's all it takes to send them on a path that neither of them would have ever dared to consider.

Love conquers all.

...Maybe

Excerpt:

Damian started changing out of his uniform and Conrad awkwardly looked away. He cleared his throat. “Hey, so, I’ve been thinking…”

“Hmm?” Damian grunted as he unclasped and slid his tunic off.

“Well, you used the ring to save me, right? But you know...the whole bit is that if you want to heal someone you have to…uh. You'd…you'd have to love--"

“Philia.” Damian cut in quickly.

“Did…did you--was that a slur?”

“…No! Philia is the Greek concept of love between friends. That’s what the ring was pulling from.” It was mostly true. It was mostly philia. Mostly.

Conrad considered that for a moment, then beamed. “Oh. Oh! So you admit it? You think we’re friends?”

Damian finished pulling a hoodie on and turned to squint at him. “How are you this stupid.”

“Oh my god you do!”

“If you’re like this for the entire ride back, there is a high likelihood that I will change my--oh come on!” Damian complained fruitlessly as he had to endure yet another hug. “I should have let you bleed out.” He hissed, and Conrad just laughed.

“I love you too, buddy.”

A tip of the hat:

Before I get into anything else, again the cover and reference sheet were done by the amazing @nicodrawings. She's terrific, professional, easy to work with (and I am ANNOYING), and I think the quality speaks for itself. Her art is tremendous and her covers are maybe the highest quality I've seen from an indie artist.

And those colors.

Her commissions are open right now and she's making a fan comic that looks so cool, and she does all this other cool stuff. Check her out, okay?

Concepts, Themes, and Character Focus

The core questions I wanted to ask were:

"Can two broken people ever be good for each other?"

"Can you actually move past the pain of loss?"

"How do you love someone?"

I love Lantern lore, and Star Sapphires specifically. Maybe too much

I was fascinated by a Corps that represented love but was usually fueled by despair and anguish instead, and wielded one of the harder to control colors of the Emotional Spectrum. So I decided to create one from scratch and place them in Earth's most notorious tragedy factory: Gotham City.

Conrad is shamelessly emotional and ruled by his affections, and was like that even before the ring. The only son of a pair of Haitian immigrants, Conrad grew up feeling very loved, and even his parents terrible handling of his attempt to come out wasn't enough to shake that. But his parents never really pushed him, and his easy-going nature meant he didn't develop a lot of self determination. Then he suffers an incredibly traumatizing loss, and suddenly his carefully laid carpet of normalcy and avoidance is torn up to reveal some structural problems underneath.

Damian is emotional and ruled by his affections, and is a little ashamed of it. He also felt loved when he was growing up, but unlike Conrad, much of the love he received was in the form of praise for his success, which had the unfortunate effect of making him seek approval in ways that were often unhelpful, most often to himself. He's tried so hard, and done so much work to be a better person, and he's even accumulated a group of peers who adore him. But he's still lonely, has trouble accepting his own progress, and the guilt he carries making new connections difficult.

Everyone is a couple of years older than they are in canon, which I did to make the content more appropriate, and also so I could play with the ambiguity of those three undocumented years, and hand wave away some of the more...uncharitable parts of canon without having to rewrite everything. This is Damian still on his early Rebirth character track, before the many resets to his character development. He's still harsh and somewhat antisocial, but he's also older, more mellow, and has worked through a couple of things. He's settled enough to allow for some honest introspection.

I didn't initially plan for this to be a love story, but their internal conflicts were complimentary and their deepest wishes slotted together so neatly that the direction felt natural. They cover many of each other's weaknesses and blind spots, while making some of their other hangups worse.

The romance isn't even the critical part really, it's just the way they end up expressing emotional intimacy. They are friends first, and that's what holds everything together. It's all about them showing up for each other in ways that are sometimes difficult, and the fact that they always will, regardless of whether they're in a relationship or not.

It's an awkward, intense, teen relationship, and it's not always a good thing for either of them--even before factoring in cosmic super weapons and secret identities.

Also, there are... a lot of cameos and odd side characters.

[pixelatedraindrops]

RAINCODE COMIC DUB~🎙️

NEW PROJECT ALERT!

Story takes place at the start of Chapter 4 (MINOR SPOILERS)

Comic Title drawn by Kazin (as well as the whole comic)

Here's the Dub! Vocals and Editing done by me 🎙️📑 Enjoy!!

Further Rambling Below

Hehe I bet you all didn't think voice acting was among my list of hidden hobbies/talents didja? (I’m just full of surprises x3) Well... I can only hope that I delivered well enough here. (please feel free to laugh at my attempted Yakou voice… LMAO)

So this is yet another collab project that @kazinsblog and I did together. The story is based on a kokowendy ch4 canon divergent skit that I made way back last fall. When Kazin saw it, she wanted to make it into a full comic. I didn't protest (I never do LOL) but then I wanted to try something.

I've never attempted a solo dub of a comic before, and honestly I didn't think I would with RainCode due to a majority of the characters being male. Sadly with my naturally high voice I can only do so much with attempting male voices. I usually only do female or child character voices.

But since Kurumi is the lead role of this story, and has the most lines, I decided to give it a try. I do love Kurumi (she's my best girl) so I hope I did her justice here. I like to think I did her voice fairly well. I struggled a bit with the guys (and Halara) but I think my Yuma is decent enough... x'D (plus it was really fun making him sound tired and out of breath :3)

I do enjoy Kokowendy as a ship, though I'm not a huge shipper. But these two are just too cute... ;w; So I think a scenario like this suits them both. Plus it gives Kurumi a chance to be reliable and try to help her beloved hero in his time of need <3 Honestly it can even be seen as platonic. Its very tame (the only small hint is that Yuma blushes at some point, but that's it)

I had a lot of fun doing this!! I got the voices and editing done in only 3 days, so it’s definitely not a long lasting project. (on my end anyway) But I still think it’s a pretty big project with all of the work both of us did. Editing the video was probably the most fun part for me >w< I knew exactly what BGM and sound effects I wanted months in advance c: I only hope I did the editing style of it right. Comic dubs are very peculiar in the way they’re done… 💦 (also no I’m not putting this on YouTube, this is a tumblr exclusive ONLY! And I give NOBODY permission to re-upload it without my consent!)

I’m not sure if I'm the first that's attempted a RC comic dub before, but if I am, then I am very happy c: Idk if I'll do another full one though. Like I said too many of the characters are male... x'D This may be a one time thing for me here. But if I were to do one, I figured why not on a comic that was made specifically for me? c: (ty again kazin!💕)

Anyway I'm done yapping now, I hope you all enjoy! 💜 Feel free to let me know what you think or which role you enjoyed from me the most! (tho I think the answer is obvious lol)

[moose-mousse]

It works!*

So I (FINALLY) put the final touches on the software for my robot PROTO! (Listen, I am a software person, not a coming-up-with-names person)

Basically, it is a ESP32 running him. He takes HTTP messages. Either GET odometry, or PUT twist. Both just being a string containing comma separated numbers

Odometry is the robots best guess based on internal sensors where it is (Since PROTO uses stepper motors, which rotates in tiny tiny steps... it is basically counting the steps each motor takes)

Twist is speed, both in x,y and z directions, and speed in angular directions (pitch, roll and yaw). This is used to tell the robot how to move

Now, since PROTO is a robot on two wheels, with a third free-running ball ahead of him, he cannot slide to the side, or go straight up in the air. You can TRY telling him to do that, but he will not understand what you mean. Same with angular movement. PROTO can turn left or right, but he have no clue what you mean if you tell him to bend forward, or roll over.

The software is layered (Which I use a BDD diagram to plan. I love diagrams!)

Basically PROTO gets a twist command and hands that over to the Differential_Movement_Model layer.

The Differential_Movement_Model layer translate that to linear momentum (how much to move forward and backwards) and angular momentum (how much to turn left or right). combines them, and orders each wheel to move so and so fast via the Stepper_Motors layer.

The Stepper_Motors turns the wanted speed, into how many steps each stepper motor will have to do per second, and makes sure that the wanted speed can be achieved by the motors. It also makes sure that the wheels turn the right way, no matter how they are mounted (In PROTO's case, if both wheels turn clockwise, the right wheel is going forward, and the left backwards.). It then sends this steps per second request down to the Peripheral_Hub layer.

The Peripheral_Hub layer is just a hub... as the name implies, it calls the needed driver functions to turn off/on pins, have timers count steps and run a PWM (Pulse-width modulation. It sends pulses of a particular size at a specific frequency) signal to the driver boards.

Layering it, also means it is a lot easer to test a layer. Basically, if I want to test, I change 1 variable in the build files and a mock layer is build underneath whatever layer I want to test.

So if I want to test the Stepper_Motors layer, I have a mock Peripheral_Hub layer, so if there are errors in the Peripheral_Hub layer, these do not show up when I am testing the stepper motor layer.

The HTTP server part is basically a standard ESP32 example server, where I have removed all the HTTP call handlers, and made my own 2 instead. Done done.

So since the software works... of course I am immediately having hardware problems. The stepper motors are not NEARLY as strong as they need to be... have to figure something out... maybe they are not getting the power they need... or I need smaller wheels... or I will have to buy a gearbox to make them slower but stronger... in which case I should proberbly also fix the freaking cannot-change-the-micro-stepping problem with the driver boards, since otherwise PROTO will go from a max speed of 0.3 meters per second, to most likely 0.06 meters per second which... is... a bit slow...

But software works! And PROTO can happily move his wheels and pretend he is driving somewhere when on his maintenance stand (Yes. it LOOKS like 2 empty cardboard boxes, but I am telling you it is a maintenance stand... since it sounds a lot better :p )

I have gone over everything really quickly in this post... if someone wants me to cover a part of PROTO, just comment which one, and I will most likely do it (I have lost all sense of which parts of this project is interesting to people who are not doing the project)

[writingforstraykids]

Addicted to you Chp.21

Pairing: Minchan (mention of OT8)

Word Count: 4613

Summary: Chan and Minho organize a long break for the whole group, knowing they all need one after these troubling times. Five months later, Chan gets a taste of Minho in his best form, and he couldn't be more proud.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, cuddles, smut, min is insecure about his weight gain, small misunderstanding, the boys are in love

Chp. 20 | Back to the beginning

A/N: Thank you to everyone who made it this far and enjoyed the story. Thank you for the lovely requests and comments, they made the whole process so much more fun. My first Stray Kids project is officially "done". As always, I am open to writing more as long as you have concrete wishes and ideas. I've enjoyed writing this series a lot, delving a little more into the aspects of their hidden relationship, the insecurities and challenges that come with that, and so on. So please, if you'd like more, maybe also about the other pairings in this specific setting, don't hesitate to let me know - Nat🖤

Setting fire to my already tamed feelings Don't make me bad, bad Addicted to you Once we've started, you must be mine Addicted to you - Lee Know, Felix & Hyunjin

“I need a break,” Chan announced to the room. Everyone stared at him, surprised but curious about the sudden confession. Everyone just finished lunch and gathered in the living room to relax. 

“Uh, thanks for the warning?” Felix chuckled.

“We all do,” Chan continued on. The boys began to share confused expressions. “We’ve been working our asses off ever since Minho came back. None of us has had time to rest.”

“That’s true,” Changbin nodded.

“I talked to our management and got us all a month off,” he said and smiled as they all looked at him with a mixture of shock and excitement. “I want you all to go home for a while. Check in with your families, spend some time with them. I’ll be leaving a few days earlier than you all. I promised my mum to stay with them for a while after they found out most of what happened through our recent interviews. If you’d like, we could still go on vacation together during the last week. Maybe you all could come to Australia again.”

“That was quite fun,” Jeongin nodded excitedly. 

“And they approved all of us leaving for a month?” Jisung asked, stunned.

“It took some work,” Minho admitted. “But we’ve told them that the past few months have been too much not only for Chan and myself. I, more or less, let them know that they’d have to deal with more public breakdowns if we wouldn’t get a break soon,” he laughed. 

“Which was quite convincing, apparently,” Chan giggled. “So vacation starts in two days. Felix, you’ll still have to attend that fashion event in four days, but then you’re free to leave.”

“Sounds good to me,” Felix smiled excitedly. He couldn’t wait to go back home for a while. “My parents would love to see you guys again.”

“My mother hasn’t been talking about anything else since I suggested it,” Chan snorted.

“As long as she makes us that amazing dinner from last time again,” Hyunjin grinned.

“I bet she will,” Seungmin laughed.

"Australia it is then," Minho nodded, chuckling at his friends. As everyone continued the conversation, his heart warmed seeing the people he loved most…happy. 

-

Chan had been gone for a week now. Everyone else, besides Felix and Minho, left for home two days ago. Minho decided to stay with Felix before he flew to Australia so he didn’t have to stay at the house all by himself. 

“How’s Chan?” Felix asked one evening as they sat together on the sofa. 

“He’s having a bit of a hard time, I think,” Minho told him. “His parents are still really worried. His sister was pretty pissed he didn’t tell her how he was feeling instead of having to find out through the interviews.”

“She’ll calm down in a few days,” Felix chuckled. 

“That’s what I told him,” he nodded, but a slight unease still lay in his tone. 

“But?” Felix asked, picking up on it.

“You know Chan, he always gets a little depressed without us there,” he shrugged and leaned back. “He keeps telling me how much he misses me. He never did that before either. It’s not like we haven’t been apart for this long before,” he giggled softly.

“You never meant this much to him before,” he reminded him kindly. 

“Fair point,” Minho sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.

“I have an idea,” he told him excitedly. “You’ve just visited home, and you always visit your parents after therapy. I bet they wouldn’t mind if you’d come with me instead.”

“To Australia? So early?” he asked, opening his eyes to give Felix a confused look. 

“Yeah. I always book two seats to have some peace during the flight so I can take you with me easily,” he told him. “We could surprise Chan with you just showing up at the front door.”

Minho giggled softly. “That would actually be fun.”

“Come on, call your mum. I’m sure she’d agree,” he laughed.

Minho quickly grabbed his phone, calling his mother. “Hi, mum,” he said cheerfully. “I have a question,” he got straight to the point, putting her on speaker. But there was no response, to Minho’s disbelief. “Mum?” he called out with a small whine, a cute pout beginning to rest on his lips.

“You’ll be leaving for Australia early?” she asked, laughing as Minho gasped.

“How the hell did you guess that?” he asked, stunned. Felix started laughing at him in the background.

“Oh please! You were talking about your boyfriend nonstop when you came over last week. Also, you’ve been visiting here so often now that I knew you wouldn’t feel bad not coming to stay with us for a few weeks,” she laughed. “I bet he really misses you, Min.”

“He does,” Minho nodded.

“You should go,” she told him kindly. “Felix?” she asked, quickly identifying him by his cheerful laugh. 

“Yes?” he asked politely. 

“Take care of him on that flight, yeah?” she asked. 

“Of course I will,” he promised. “I’ll bring him back to you safely.” Minho’s mom gave her goodbyes and ended the call. 

Minho smiled widely and pulled Felix into a warm, gentle hug. “Thank you, Felix.”

Felix nodded and hugged Minho, squeezing him tightly. “Of course, Minho.”

-

Chan was still lying in bed, scrolling through his phone and trying to stay awake. He tossed and turned all night, and the lack of sleep was trying to lure him back into a deep slumber. He yawned softly and stretched his tired body. He began smiling as he heard the small patter of his dog coming down the hallway and into his room, hopping on the bed. “Hi Berry,” he said softly.

“Chris?” his mother called out for him from downstairs.

“Yes mom?” he shouted back, not really feeling like moving. 

“Someone’s here to see you,” she said. “Can you come down here for a moment?”

He groaned softly. If his mother asked in that tone, he was sure it was a friend of theirs wanting to see how their idol son was doing, maybe even collecting a few autographs on the way. “Fine,” he groaned, quickly pulling a sweater over his head to cover his naked chest. He walked down the stairs, not noticing the person standing next to his sister with a grumble to himself. “I swear if this is another - Minho?!” he asked, his jaw dropping as he finally looked up at the visitor in question. 

“Surprise?” he asked gently. Before he knew it, Chan was in his arms, lifting and spinning him around. “Channie, nooo” he giggled, wrapping his legs around his waist. “I just stepped off the plane, go easy on me!”

“What the hell? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? I could’ve picked you up from the airport,” he pouted, a whine can be heard through his tone. 

“Hannah did,” Minho said gently. Chan looked at her surprised, not believing she was in on the surprise. “Felix had an extra seat, and we decided to surprise you.”

“When do you leave?” he asked.

“Whenever you leave,” he told him. Chan’s smile widened. Minho laughed as he put him back down on the ground and hugged him tightly. 

“And where will you be staying?” he asked, still not fully grasping that he was actually there.

“Here, you dumbass,” Hannah told him, rolling her eyes at him.

“Your mum said it would be alright,” Minho said gently.

“Of course it is!” she assured him with a bright smile. “You’re always welcome here, Minho.”

“Thank you,” he smiled at her. Chan couldn’t help himself anymore and kissed him passionately, pulling him in close. Minho grunted softly, but returned the kiss happily. He pulled back and stared at him, a bit dazed. “I suppose you told them about us?” 

“Obviously,” Chan laughed.

“I told him fighting to get you back to the group was the one thing he did right the past few weeks,” Hannah said teasingly. 

Minho giggled softly and pulled her into a hug. “I missed you too, little sister,” he said fondly. “But don’t be too hard on him, alright? I wasn’t exactly easy to be around either.”

“Fine,” she rolled her eyes, but they knew she meant well. Minho was always fond of Hannah since the day they met. 

Minho smiled at Chan and reached out for him, grabbing his hand. “I think I need a nap.”

“That’s the jetlag,” he chuckled. “I had another shitty night myself, let’s go.” Minho followed him upstairs to his room, giggling as Chan threw the door closed and kissed him needily. “Fuck, I missed you, baby.”

“I missed you too, love,” he said softly, wrapping his arms around his neck. “So, so much.” Chan buried his face in his shoulder, hugging him even tighter. “Are you okay?” his voice laced with care and warmth, fondling his hair. 

“Yeah,” he whispered, hot tears burning in his eyes. 

“Channie?” he asked gently, pulling back a little and lifting his face. “Oh, angel,” he whispered.

“I really fucking missed you, that’s all,” he assured him.

“You’re so cute,” he told him, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m here now. I won’t stop getting on your nerves for a whole month,” he smirked. “There’s no staff to stop us either. And the others get here in three weeks.”

“Sounds perfect,” he smiled and brushed their noses together. “Just you and me.”

“Mhm, just you and me, Channie,” he smiled softly, cupping his face and kissing him gently. The two almost got lost in their embrace, until Minho pulled back to speak. “Uh, before I forget, my therapist asked if you’d like to join the next session?”

Chan frowned softly at the request. “Why?”

“She thinks it’ll be easier to work through certain things that happened with you there. Like collapsing on stage and getting to the hospital after. I don't have many memories of that night,” he shrugged. 

“Alright, sure thing,” he nodded. “Now let’s get some sleep.”

Five months later

Minho looked at himself in the mirror, carefully fixing his hair. He was wearing a perfectly fitted dark suit that hugged him in all the right places, the vest painted with blue stripes. A delicate necklace rested on his skin, and a ring on each hand completed the look. The one on his right ring finger being a present from his boyfriend. The color definitely complimented his dark hair. He crouched down a little, testing his trousers, which were a little tight. 

"Minho hyung, what are you doing?" Felix laughed at him, leaning against the vanity not too far from him. He was walking around looking for his friend, just to make sure he was doing okay. 

Minho met his eyes through the mirror and started to laugh as well. "I'm scared I'll rip them. They're not the best fit for this dance." 

Hyunjin looked up from his phone, sitting comfortably on a nearby couch. "I bet Chan wouldn't agree with you on that." 

Felix grinned and made his way over, taking a closer look. "I think you look stunning. Time to tease your boyfriend." 

Minho chuckled at them and playfully rolled his eyes. "Don't think Changbin won't drool over you either," he winked at him, making the younger one blush. "Oh wait, we have another style expert right here. Doesn't our sunshine look handsome, Hyunjin?" he asked the younger male and turned Felix in his direction. 

Hyunjin smirked and put his phone aside. "What do you think made him blush so hard a minute ago?" 

"Oh, I see," Minho chuckled. Hyunjin got up and made his way over, gently grabbing Felix's chin and looking deep into his eyes. The shiteating grin on his face not leaving for a second as his gaze devoured Felix. Minho sensed it and took note. "That's my que to leave. Remember, we have to be on stage in ten minutes. I don't want either one of you to go out there hard."

Felix quickly grabbed Minho's hand and held him back. "If you leave, he won't stop being a tease. I’ll definitely be in trouble then." Felix pleaded with the cutest pout on his lips.

Minho giggled softly and stayed where he was, taking out his phone. With a chuckle, Hyunjin decided to have mercy on Felix and gave him a sweet, loving kiss. Meanwhile, Minho saw a few messages from Chan pop up and smiled stupidly, reading them. 

I’m so proud of you, baby! You’re gonna be amazing out there. Good luck!

Minho texted a few hearts back and chuckled as Chan asked for a picture. He told him he had to see his reaction live, which made Chan send a bunch of emojis. "Alright, let's go," he said, putting his phone aside. 

The three of them made their way to the side-stage and looked into the audience. "That's a lot of people out there," Felix whispered. The older two took his hands, squeezing them encouragingly. 

"Perfect audience to perform this song for, for the first time ever," Hyunjin told him, winking cheekily at him. 

"Look, there’s Channie and the boys," Minho said, pointing at the first row a little to the right. Chan and Changbin were sitting next to each other, almost placed perfectly in his opinion, to watch Felix and himself. Jisung, Seungmin, and Jeongin were sitting next to Chan, all waiting curiously for their friends to come on stage. They began to walk out on stage as their names were announced and smirked at the screams, combined with Chan's eyes widening seeing his outfit. They both knew Chan was a sucker for him in blue. The lights only increased the effect. 

As they waited for the music to start, Minho met Chan's eyes and teasingly opened his suit jacket with a winning smirk, putting the ring on display. He had trouble holding back a grin as Chan licked his lips. The fans started cheering at his action, and Minho turned his attention to the audience. He chuckled into the microphone and did it again, this time for the audience, before getting shy at the screams and smiling brightly, looking down at the floor. Felix and Hyunjin giggled at his antics, trying to stay serious themselves. 

Changbin and Chan exchanged a look, knowing the other probably had the same impure thoughts about his boyfriend. "Fuck me," Chan breathed out quietly, and Changbin chuckled at him. 

"I'm sure he would if you'd ask nicely," he grinned and earned a punch in his arm. The others laughed at them, not needing to hear them to know what they were talking about. 

The music started, and Minho locked in, starting to move to the beat. It was kind of funny that not even their members knew what they were in for. The moment Felix's beautiful, deep voice rang through the air, the fans started shouting, and honestly, he didn't blame them. Minho started his verse, and to his surprise, he got about the same reaction to his smooth, soft voice. A rush of adrenaline filled him, and he knew he was performing well, judging by the looks of his members as he danced during Hyunjin's part. Minho took a deep breath and casually strolled to the side before starting to sing the higher notes, hitting them all beautifully making the crowd go wild once more. Chan beamed at him proudly, knowing how hard he had worked to perfect that part. 

Chan was mesmerized, looking up at his boyfriend on stage in awe. He looked beautiful in this outfit, and his heart warmed seeing him wearing the ring he bought him. His voice sounded amazing tonight, and his stage presence was undeniable. Thinking about it, Chan couldn't remember ever seeing him so in his element like this, which meant a lot, considering Minho was their main dancer. 

What didn't help was watching the way his body moved in front of thousands of people and knowing how he looked beneath the many layers of fabric. Chan did, in fact, appreciate the tight suit pants, and his jaw dropped as he got down on the floor, rolling his hips with his hand placed dangerously close to his crotch. Jisung nudged him gently, and he quickly closed his mouth again, shifting a little in his seat. 

Minho moved into a sitting position, continuing his dance movements. His intense gaze locked into Chan’s, captivating him as he continued singing. "Don't make me bad, make me bad, I'm addicted to you….Don't make me bad, bad, addicted to you." 

Chan's eyes clouded with desire the longer he watched him. He couldn't help himself feeling like Minho put on a perfectly balanced show for him and their fans. 

The performance came to an end, and they took their ending pose. Minho panted softly before meeting eyes with Chan and smirking succeedingly, knowing exactly how much he had just worked him up. He exchanged a look with Felix and Hyunjin before they all left the stage, waving at their cheering fans and friends. 

They made their way back to their room and weren't even able to sit down as their friends and boyfriends stepped inside. Minho's eyes widened at how loud the room suddenly was, and laughed at their friends, telling them how amazing their performance was. Locking eyes with Chan made him shiver with anticipation. Chan simply nodded at the door before leaving again. Minho slipped outside as the others were busy and frowned softly when Chan was nowhere to be seen. He walked down the hallway, and a door to his left opened. Chan grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside, throwing the door closed again. Minho found himself pressed against the door within seconds, and a low moan fell from his lips as Chan braced himself next to his head, looking down at him with nothing but desire in his eyes. "Hi there," he said innocently. "You liked the performance?" 

Chan grabbed his chin and searched his eyes. "You think it's funny making me hard in front of I don't know how many people?" 

"You…wow," he grinned proudly. 

"Don't look so smug," Chan giggled and groaned softly, pressing their foreheads together. "Fuck, you looked hot up there, baby."

"Thank you," he smiled sweetly and nudged his nose. "What's the secret room reserved for you only about?" he asked, spotting the name sign on the desk right in front of the mirror. Catching his reflection, he had to admit he was looking great tonight, even now that his hair was a bit of a mess. 

"So I can kiss you without anyone seeing, of course," Chan answered casually. 

"Oh," he nodded and couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. 

"You sound like that's a bad idea," he commented, frowning at him. He almost looked a little disappointed. "Did you think we'd - Minho!" 

"What?" he asked, slightly offended, and ducked down, taking a step to the side and away from him. "I'm sorry. I thought that was your intention, leading me away from everyone. You could've kissed me in our room." 

"You can't possibly think I wanted to have sex right here? With so many people passing by that door at all times?" he was a little in shock, and Minho rolled his eyes at him before sitting on the desk. 

"Why not? When did that ever bother you before, huh?" he asked and started fiddling with the necklace to take it off. "Forget it. This was a stupid idea," he said and took off the necklace, slamming it down on the table. 

"Baby, are you okay?" he asked softly. 

"No, obviously not. I'm making a fool out of myself here hoping this-," he gestured at himself. "-would finally make me attractive enough in your eyes again to go further than a kiss." 

"Wait, what?" he asked truly shocked now. His eyes widened at what he thought Minho was insinuating. 

"Two months ago, you would've gotten into my pants before I properly locked the door. You've been locking yourself up with Hannie and Changbin lately. And it's starting to piss Felix off, but I guess it makes me question myself. I don't know when the last you actually touched me and…is it because I gained weight again?" he asked, a flare of insecurity igniting in his brain as he glanced down at how his form-fitting. "Or-," he stopped as Chan was suddenly in front of him, cupping his face. 

"Baby, take a deep breath," he said kindly, and Minho glared at him, huffing softly but doing it anyways. "I'm so sorry for neglecting your needs. We've just been creating so much for the group and working on new stuff. I didn't know it was making you question yourself." 

"Well, of course it does," he pouted and nervously played with his ring, looking down at it. "Just forget it, Channie. I'm being stupid, this whole idea was stupid from the beginning." 

"What idea?" he chuckled softly. 

"All of this," he said grumpily as Chan seemed to find it amusing. 

"A warning would've been nice, kitten," he said, his voice growing smooth and low. 

Minho blinked at him, and his stomach flipped at the desire dancing in Chan's pupils. "About what? The outfit, the flirting, the dance..the intention behind all of it?" he asked innocently. 

Chan fondled up his thighs. "All of it?" he asked quietly and leaned in closer. 

"Well, where's the fun in that?" Minho asked and sank deep into his eyes. 

"I would've come prepared," he told him. 

"Check my pockets," he smirked and hopped off the table. 

Chan frowned softly before reaching into the pocket at the back. He couldn't help himself, teasingly squeezing his ass before pulling out two condoms. "Did you..?"

"No, I didn't carry them around on stage, you dumbass. I had them stored away in the waiting room," he protested, taking out the small bottle of lube from his jacket. 

"Fuck Min. Are you sure we can do this now?" he asked, checking his phone for the time. 

"Seriously? There are twenty performances before ours, which gives us at least an hour," he groaned impatiently. "But if you keep wasting time, we can't do this."

"You really came prepared, huh," Chan giggled, watching Minho impatiently unbuckling his belt. "You're in a rush?" 

"Whatever you plan on doing, these trousers come off," he told him. 

"That's a bummer. Your ass and thighs look really great in it," Chan pouted playfully. 

"They look even better when I’m straddling your dick, now move or I'll do it myself," he gave back smoothly with a hint of sassiness. Chan pulled him into a very passionate kiss, intoxicating enough to keep him dazed. His hands grabbed his ass, pulling him close as their lips met. "That's more like it," Minho smiled as he pulled back.

Chan hummed gently and unbuttoned the blue-striped vest, kissing down his torso as more skin slowly revealed itself. "By the way, you look beautiful as always, and I don't mind you gaining weight one bit," he assured him before planting a loving kiss right on the scar on his stomach. 

Minho smiled gently and brushed his hair back, looking down at him. "I know…you know how I get sometimes." 

"I do," he smiled and squeezed his hips before coming back up and kissing him on the mouth instead. "I think after delivering such a show, you deserve to see how stunning you look when you fall apart."

Minho gasped softly and looked at him with wide eyes, darkening with passion. "Just be careful and don't leave a mark in places people will see with the new outfit." 

"I'll be careful," he promised before turning him around so he was facing the mirror. 

Minho leaned back against him, inspected their reflection, and met his eyes through the mirror. "Don't we look good together?" 

"I think we fit together perfectly," Chan hummed, agreeing, and reached down into his pants, stroking his dick gently. Minho's eyes fluttered, lips parting with a gasp. Chan growled lowly and buried his nose in his neck. "Fuck Min, please tell me you're keeping this outfit. I need to fuck you properly in it tonight." 

Minho blinked at him through the mirror. "Shit, is this one of your kinks, hyung?" 

Chan pressed himself against him and gently wrapped his hand around his neck, careful not to leave any marks. "Call it whatever you want, kitten." 

Minho shivered at the contact and melted against him. "I mean, I can ask if I can keep it," he said and chuckled as Chan let go of him, dropping down to his knees in front of him. 

"You're right, I haven't been appreciating what I come home to every night enough," he tells him and fondles up his thighs. "Let me make it up to you," he said, taking the band of his boxers between his teeth and pulling them down, along with his pants. 

-

"Where's Chan hyung?" Changbin asked, confused. 

"Probably fucking Minho hyung's brains out, why?" Jeongin gave back dryly. The painfully loud silence called him to look up from his phone. "What?!" 

"Sometimes it scares me how grown-up you are now," Hyunjin said with wide eyes. His words were rewarded with him sticking his tongue out at him. 

"Maybe it's the other way around," Seungmin suggested with a shrug, casually scrolling through his phone. 

"The suit might work," Jisung hummed, agreeing. 

"I hate you all," Changbin groaned. 

"Loosen up, babe," Felix smirked. "We all know he's right." 

"Exactly," Jeongin grinned before squinting his eyes at Felix and Changbin. "Also, weren't you doing the same thing just minutes ago?" 

"Darling, that's enough," Seungmin said softly. 

"At this point, we should be allowed to do it on the sofa. Everyone knows anyway," he shrugged. 

"Minho hyung, help!" Hyunjin shouted in shock, making everyone laugh. "He'd kick your ass for that." 

"I'll go and get some coffee. Let's hope they're back to collect their kids after," Changbin sighed, and Felix giggled softly. 

"You're their kid too, dumbass," Jisung pointed out. 

"Yeah, fuck you too," he laughed. 

-

Minho pulled up the zipper of his pants, smirking at Chan, fixing his messed-up hair. Their eyes met through the mirror, and Chan turned, again dropping to his knees. He hugged him tight, burying his face in his stomach for a moment before looking up at him with dreamy eyes. Minho beamed at him, gently brushing back his hair. He hadn't been this happy in a while, being on stage without thinking about his knee anymore. He had his friends there, a very supportive boyfriend, and gosh, he loved him. All that stupid drama, those many lows and equal ups in between had made them grow much closer than before. He wouldn't want it any different now. Minho was finally truly happy, ready to face whatever was coming with Chan right by his side. This time, he was sure he'd have his back. "Channie hyung?" 

"Yes?" he asked sweetly. 

"I love you," he said. "Never forget that." 

"I think I'm addicted to you," Chan breathed out, and his eyes grew incredibly soft. "I love you more than anything else." 

"You'd die for those kids out there. Don't put me first," he giggled softly. 

"I'd die for you too," he told him. Minho believed him, truly. 

"Stay alive for me, baby boy," Minho shook his head, crouching down and kissing him hard on the mouth as tears brimmed Chan's eyes. 

"I love you too," he whispered and took his hand, kissing the ring. He got up and held up his pinky finger. “You and me against the world?”

“Forever,” Minho answered smiling, sealing the deal.

Chp. 20 | Back to the beginning

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the taglist!)

@atinyniki @kailee08 @mal-lunar-28 @aaasia111 @lilmisssona @galaxycatdrawz @silverstarburst @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @soullostinspaceandtime @malfoygalaxies @rebecca-johnson-28 @mellhwang @lixie-phoria @michelle4eve @xxstrayland @lost-in-avoidance

[goldenteaset]

So unlike my other posts for @tristampparty , this one is focused on two things that are connected but not directly. But they are about the twins, who are Plants, so it fits the theme. XD

I have so many thoughts about Vash's panicked/drowning reaction in the Plant fluid and Nai's reaction to it. "Breathe, Vash." It's another unexpected reminder that for all he projects onto Vash, he does genuinely care for him (which makes everything worse). As, well, erotic horror as the tentacles right afterward is, I can't help but read it also as Vash trying to fight off a life preserver...

And now, we get into what I like to call "I'm Biased Toward A Specific Sort of Antagonist And Unfortunately I'm Also A Writer", aka a fic idea poorly disguised as analysis. And also a post about how attractive(ly scary) Nai is. XD;

Every day I thank Studio Orange for Nai, and also hope desperately that at least some shred of what I'd like to see with him actually happens.

Look at him. What a wonderful smile! And it's so deliciously jarring compared to the corpses that are all around him and Vash. Episode 3 and that "Does it cure the loneliness?" line were the creators preparing a lure, and then by episode 9 they cast it with That Smile to younger Vash in this exact spot, and here they hooked me and never let go.

My favorite antagonists deeply care for the protagonist, often in very complicated ways that offer up a hundred interpretations, but the most common one is love. Nai loves Vash--the memories of him, the idea of him, the saint, the sinner. And in this moment, he almost comes to love him as a person, too. "Join me, and we can save our kind." (Also of note: I love how this is framed so that the audience can see this side of Nai as well. It's a very compelling moment and wouldn't be out of place in an otome game.)

I was so excited for more of this: more Nai gently denying Vash his autonomy, lovingly indoctrinating/baptizing him into his cult as a fellow Angel and what that might mean!

...And then I realized that this scene happened only a few minutes in and oh. Oh no.

Don't get me wrong: I love/am horrified by the Tesla scene, and the desert and Rem scenes are amazingly done. But they're forceful, like Nai is embodying that "Gentle Persuasion" meme, and that just isn't scary to me. I would've mostly kept them as they are, but maybe leaned more into the "Everything I did was for you/a paradise for us" lines. Because yes, Nai is being a manipulative slimeball here, but I also think he has 1000% chugged his own Freudian koolaid so much that it's leaking out of his pores.

So I'd do it all mostly backwards, is what I'm saying: show the scene with Rem first, then the desert, then Tesla, then combine the "Join me~" + geranium garden scenes into one. It can convince Vash and the audience. Vash is now worn down, and more importantly he sees Nai as both a savior and, like the other Plants, someone who needs him.

Have there be visions of Vash's companions in the geranium garden (but conveniently far away) happily interacting with the Plants. Show Rosa and her baby! Wolfwood and Livio with the other orphans! So many knife-twisting ways to make this all seem like the best of all possible worlds. Have Vash mindbreak himself.

Now when Vash transforms and starts consuming July/impregnating the Plants, it's not just happening because he's just an empty vessel: Vash earnestly thinks it's the right thing to do.

(To twist the knife, I'd also bring back the "I can hear you. Don't be afraid" line at this moment. Heck, maybe it can all even sound triumphant from his POV, with tender piano music or similar. And then we cut to Meryl, desperately trying to reach him...)

[geekwiththeglasses]

Would love to hear you rant about Fourth Wing. That book makes me so mad lmao

I literally dashed to my desktop when I saw this because this deserves a desktop response (out of character for a millenial/genz cusper I actually type much faster with a keyboard).

Now to note, I am only 50% done with the book so far so this is limited to that (though I have watched spoiler reviews so I feel justified in my thoughts because I know it's not getting better).

By the way, I learned that this entire series was a publisher request, not like a passion project of Yarros and while I ain't judging (I would do it in a heartbeat if it meant I could pay rent for the next year), to me, you can kinda feel it, like there's a distinct lack of creative verve. You can especially feel it in how shallow everything (and everyone) feels.

A read more because this became obnoxiously long (it's almost 2000 words) and I respect people's dashboards.

Except for this article about toxic perseverance which I think everyone should have to read if they've read Fourth Wing.

There are, first of all, some major issues with this book. The biggest one is, of course, the toxic perseverance, which is covered quite well in the article, but if you're not going to read it, to pull a quote from it:

Creating a narrative in which a character with a disability overcomes all of their pain and other symptoms through force of will alone sets unrealistic expectations—unrealistic expectations which are, as I mentioned previously, a very real issue for very real disabled people in our very real world.  I believe we should have seen some impact of that lifestyle if the author was trying to engage with this intentionally. Because fiction is not created in a vacuum and this narrative goes unproblematised in-text, it’s unclear whether Yarros actively endorses this mindset, or is accidentally endorsing it, neither of which is good.

Just to elaborate a little on something I didn't see in the article, but this book hates the idea of accommodations. Like it's a horrible, horrible thing and how dare you ever suggest Violet might need something as disgusting as a saddle to stay on the equivalent of an airplane. It's not like accommodations are something that actually can end up helping non-disabled people as well. There wasn't potential for a scene where she actually acknowledged she needed help and suddenly everyone's like "hey, that's actually really smart, we should totally do this too, this makes life much easier/safer and will improve everyone's quality of life". Or even just a scene where it only helps her but damn it helps her a lot because it takes in to account her needs and specific body. Because that would require acknowledging that Violet has limitations and not allow her to power through the pain. And also get thrown from her dragon repeatedly, which definitely doesn't fuck up her joints.

Rhiannon gets so shafted. She gets the double whammy of two stereotypes: the black best friend and the promiscuous bisexual. She's seen with multiple partners, none of which seem like long-term or serious partners. And while some bisexual people have more sex with more people than others, if you're going to do that, include more than one bisexual person in your story. She has very little to do with the story unless she is there for the white, straight main character. We've gotten her helping Violet, but so far there's zero dedicated scenes of that tutoring help that was offered in the beginning and as far as I know we never get it (I may be wrong). I hear we get her family later, but that they're also glossed over for More Important Things. It doesn't feel like Rhiannon (or honestly any other character) exists except for when they're around Violet. They all kinda blend together, which at the 50% mark is fucking unacceptable. What is special about them, distinguishes them from the others other than Liam (is it Liam? whoever her bodyguard is) who whittles? There is so little to distinguish any background characters except for Dain. Even Xaden feels lackluster and a bit hazy around the edges, like he never finished rendering.

Let's not forget that Yarros is 100% a military wife and a US military bootlicker and from what I've heard she's had some unsavory and unsupportable opinions on Palestine. We do not like.

She also took Gaelic names and just decided the pronunciation doesn't matter??? Insulting.

Onto the less serious issues:

Firstly, as to my previous complaint, the entirety of Dain's storyline is the most impressive speedrun in character assassination I have ever seen. I described it to a friend as Yarros lovingly caressing a 2x4 before repeatedly beating you over the head with it. He gets like... a scene to be besties and then immediately he must be the worst thing to ever exist, specifically to prop up Xaden. Dain is the asshole holding her back, unlike Xaden who pushes her to be her best (entirely ignoring that her body literally has physical limitations and accommodations are not a dirty word)! He's such a rule follower, but Xaden understands when to bend or break them (pay no attention to him breaking all the rules to try to get her into the scribe's quadrant)! He doesn't believe her immediately when she accuses someone of murder, but Xaden absolutely believes her with no proof (let's forget that Amber is a good friend of Dain and that it would honestly be natural to want to believe that your friend isn't capable of cold-blooded murder with zero proof especially since that would lead to her execution which Violet somehow forgot would be a consequence of her accusation). Dain is overprotective and condescending to Violet (I mean he wasn't the one to force her to have a bodyguard, but he just doesn't believe in her). I bet he doesn't even wash his ass. Xaden definitely washes his ass.

Murder college makes zero sense, especially since she definitely based the military off the US (which makes sense since it's the one she has the most exposure to). Most militaries that I am aware of have rather high requirements for physical fitness, especially an academy for officers (which, in Yarros' face, I actually have experience with, as my father went to the Naval Academy so I know for a fact they're strict as hell with requirements). The US military won't even let you be slightly overweight, even if you can fulfill the physical requirements. It was hard to find any info on whether EDS would out and out disqualify you, but the fact that it wasn't even brought up as a barrier for entry that she had to overcome does not make sense to me.

Ah, I hear someone hypothetically argue, but the college is supposed to (theoretically) weed out the weak so they'll let anyone in who wants to join! Ok, then why is Violet the only physically disabled person in the entire college? I have been to rodeos with bull riders who were amputees, but there ain't one person missing an arm or a leg in that college. The only other disabled person we get so far is a scribe, but you're telling me not one deaf person wants to be a rider? Why is Violet the only one that gets to be "exceptional"?

Back to the murder part of murder college, the fact that this is a murder college gets technically lampshaded, but never really justified in why people keep coming. Like it's not some greater commentary on the lengths people will go for power or greatness or the insidious nature of military propaganda. It just felt like we needed to up the stakes that our protagonist was in danger at every turn, but honestly I never feel like the stakes are that high, because, well, she keeps emphasizing how much danger her life is in, how screwed and dead she is. And if her life is always in danger, it's never in danger.

Speaking of murder, the story doesn't challenge the idea that "weed out the weak through murder" doesn't actually work but just kills people and probably gives the survivors like the worst anxiety (because if everything can kill you your mental health will probably deteriorate). It's like that meme:

Basgiath War College: I have made the perfect rider Me: you fucked up a perfectly good person is what you did. Look at him. He's got anxiety.

Why is Violet so enlightened and above having any prejudice? If anything she should have way more animosity towards the rebel kids than she does. It's literally stated in text that she was not immune to the propaganda and misinformation she's read, but you want me to believe that between (what she believes is) losing a brother to the rebellion and a mother who was kinda involved, not to mention growing up in a group that would be full of anti-rebel propaganda she somehow didn't end up believing anything beyond "yeah some of them will definitely want you dead" which is true??? Instead she's fine with them and will definitely sit with rebel kids because unlike people who grew up with probably less or about the same propaganda than her, she knows not to judge people for the sins of their parents. Those other kids are just so much more prejudiced than she is, isn't she wonderful and has zero biases to unlearn. Oh, you may say, but she thought Xaden was going to kill her! He literally does confirm that the only reason initially he doesn't kill her is to keep a hold of his humanity which does actually confirm that he wants her dead! So the narrative even confirms that this bias was, in fact, the correct opinion to have.

I do not understand why Violet and Xaden are drawn to each other beyond Xaden hot. I am asexual and somewhere on the aromantic spectrum so perhaps it is just not in my nature to understand the ways of the heterosexuals, but I don't get it. Why does she like him? The only reason given is he's hot. Maybe a reason is given later down the line but this is a romantasy. You live and die by building up that damn romance and I am not convinced! I haven't even been given like a "oh I see him with his dragon and it's heart meltingly cute how he interacts with her". Is this why Dain had to be assassinated (we are holding his burial next week by the way, there will be funeral potatoes)? So that Xaden had something to be compared to because he has all the substance of one of those inflatable dancing men?

(Dance, Xaden, dance.)

Yarros cannot do exposition, it's so jarring. She tells us so much, shows little, and bores me the entire time. You seriously decide to make exposition a character quirk for when she needs to calm down? Seriously???? The parapet scene was hard to listen to because you were jerked around like a rag doll between quick action and exposition. Who thought that was a good idea? Exposition is always a difficult thing to include and make it work and sound natural, but this is not how you do it.

A minor complaint, but once you learn Yarros is Mormon you cannot unsee the fingerprints of Mormonism throughout this book. People do not cuss like people, they cuss like you put fuck into a fresh AI and asked it to try it out. I cuss like a sailor and I was wondering why it felt so jarring until I realized that it's not how people talk. I mean Holy. Fucking. Hot. I'm well the fuck aware. You tried ma'am, you tried. Here's a gold star. Also, I'm 99% sure there is zero alcohol. You seriously want me to believe that none of these kids are sneaking in alcohol? That no one is using booze to cope with being in a murder college? As if, we all know these kids are making midnight dragon runs to the liquor store.

Also, the fact that I had to hear an audiobook narrator try to make this dialogue and prose sound like something that would actually come out of a human mouth was truly something to behold. The fact that "for the win" was not left in the 2010s where it belonged is an outrage. If I had a better memory I would put in more quotes cause there have been other doozies.

But really, the greatest crime this book commits, is that it has the audacity to be boring. You give me dragons and you have the sheer, unmitigated gall to bore me. I will accept a lot from a book. I will accept plot holes. I will ignore shallow world building. I will tolerate character assassinations. Do all that if you must, but at the very least make it interesting. This book is not interesting. I listen to a few chapters at a time and I am not having a good time. I only continue out of sheer stubbornness and feeling an obligation that for once I should actually read a book that I have seen negative reviews about to see if perhaps it is not so bad.

I just happened to pick a book where it is, in fact, that bad.

[definitivelynotanalien]

rgrgrgrgrgrg ur turn! what are your infinight headcanons? also, this goes for both the interns AND og infinights if you've got any for 'em!!!!

BUCKLE UP ALRIGHT?? I AM OBSSESED AND MY FAVORITE HOBBIE IS MAKING UP HEADCANONS!!

Gum Gum:

- As mentioned in on my most recent post, Gum Gum has 4c hair and Bart braids it for him

- He doesn't actually like candy because it keeps getting stuck in his molars and it's hard to get it out with his tusks on the way

- He has trouble eating because of said tusks but he manages

- He lets Bart draw on his skin with ink

- He thinks being Afraid is a Bad Thing because kids mocked him for it at the Orchidnage

- He cries trying to do simple math, not because it's frustrating but because he knows it really shouldn't be This hard (I'm projecting so hard right now)

- Nobody admits it but he has the highest alcohol tolerance in the entire team

Bart:

- He has an incredibly wide voice range but his voice is his most natural if a bit Exaggerated at times

- He thinks Mudd is kinda hot but in a "Wow my friend is so pretty frr" kinda way y'know?

- Only brushes back his hair when out and about, at the headquarters and while camping his hair a mess

- Sleeps in briefs and if you're lucky one of Gum Gum's old shirts when in his room

- Likes to throw people off by asking to be carried or letting himself be walked into just to reveal how dense (Heavy) he is

- He has a fish tattooed on his chest as a reference to Captain Marrge (He'll never admit that's why)

- Has to plead and fight Gum Gum every week or two to try and get him to bathe (He doesn't bathe Galindor btw, he just puts him in the bath and leaves)

- He knows how to style people's hairs and really likes doing if. If only Kyborg let him run his fingers through his hair more often

Mudd:

- Puts things high up in shelfs so the others can't reach them

- Has done "Elf on a shelf" to Kyborg exactly 1 time and hated the feeling of Ky's shirt on his hands but it was worth putting him up there

- He has some pretty strange sensory issues (As in they are waaay too specific).

- He doesn't like hugs or kisses or anything like that because the feeling of touch remains on his skin Foever and it drives him mad

- His cape acts like a weighted blanket

- Shares fruit with Gumbo on a regular basis

- His tent in the largest because obviously, and has had to get the whole team out of it multiple times because they keep using it as a hangout spot

- Gossips with Bart about people that look fruity to them (*Cough cough* Spectril and Slique)

- He's a S€x and Romance repulsed aroace and suffers whenever Bart flirts with anyone

- Once he gained the ability to, he started changing the shape of his ears to something smaller and less "cow-like" because he's insecure about it. He switches on and off between liking them and hating them

Kyborg:

- He adores Gum Gum because the kid genuinely thinks he's cool

- Tries not to cry whenever he sees a kid with their parents

- He's afraid to ever have children because what if they loose him too?

- Uses his hatred against Quadron as his only motivation to stay alive

- His friends are his family even if he will never admit it, he lives for them

- He braids his hair like his mom used to braid hers, charms and rings and all.

- He likes it when Bart brushes his hair or braids it, but he's afraid to show that level of attachment.

- He has abandonment issues if we're honest

- Will fight Brink Tussler but also if anything happens to that guy seriously he'll Cry for ages

- Feeds Gumbo worms he finds on the woods while Mudd's not looking

Slique:

- He forgets he's missing fingers and only realizes when he tries to count with them

- Has dropped his tuning sword and regretted it many times

- Gets attached way too easily to anyone who's "nice enough to him", probably because of his need for approval and attention