#it’s elevated in a bunch of other cancers too

[innko]

i’m seeing 2 different doctors at the uni hospital - a gynecologist and an internist. the gynecologist ordered bloods my first visit, which she never gave me. i got them from the internist after asking and my CA 19-9 was moderately elevated, which is elevated enough to possibly be cancer, although most of the time the cause of elevated CA 19-9 is a benign disease. but all the internist said about it was “you’re not young so it’s not cancer” and when i asked the gynecologist, she didn’t even apologize for forgetting to give them to me and just said “a lot of times it’s elevated for no reason” (maybe true for slightly elevated but not when it’s elevated enough to possibly be cancer - it’s usually caused by something, whether malignant or benign. completely healthy people don’t just produce loads of CA 19-9). and she only told me she’d retest for it next month after i pointed out it can be caused by gi diseases, WHICH I HAVE THE SYMPTOMS OF. i mean it probably is a benign cause but now i get to go around having fleeting paranoid thoughts about having pancreatic cancer and kicking it because the uni hospital wanted to ignore me and my test results. and even if it’s not cancer, they’re a hospital??? they’re also supposed to diagnose and treat benign diseases???

[madsworld15]

I Am Still Here Part 3 (Brian x Justin, Support Group AU)

You can find Part 1 here. And Part 2 here.

As always, my lovely pals deserve a shoutout because they keep me inspired to write about this couple that I hold so near and dear to my heart. @winderlylandchime @maryp50 @lostcol

If you are reading this fic, please let me know what you think. I'm enjoying the creation of it, but I still want to know other people's thoughts.

~~~~

The Next Day

Brian groaned as his alarm woke him up. This whole cancer treatment journey was fucking him in more ways than one. He used to be able to function with barely any sleep. Now if he got less than eight hours, his whole body was fucked.

He sat up but couldn’t get out of bed completely. He got to the edge of his bed before his vision started to swim. The dizziness didn’t go away at first, but when it did, it was as if his body had transferred it to his gut. Brian barely made it to his bathroom before vomiting a bunch of stomach acid, which fucked up his throat. 

Getting through his morning routine was torturous and slow. He nibbled on dry toast, hoping it would keep his stomach happy. A headache started to form behind his eyes and fuck if that didn’t piss him off even more. 

“Jesus. Can’t you just let me have one good day this week? I have client meetings today. I don’t have time for this shit!” Brian cursed toward his ceiling.

He grabbed a bottle of water, the other piece of dry toast, and his briefcase and then headed to his door. Just as he opened it, two things happened. His phone rang with Cynthia’s number, and he found his mom on his doorstep. 

He answered his phone while holding a finger up to his mom.

“Hey, Cyn. I’m on my way. I overslept. Don’t worry, I’ll be there before Remson arrives.” Then he hung up and stepped out his door, forcing his mom backward.

As he locked his door, he addressed the elephant in the room. 

“Well, if it isn’t Saint Joan. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“You know I hate when you call me that.” Joan tittered in disdain at Brian.

Brian, having successfully locked the door, turned around. The spin must’ve been too fast, though, because he gagged on the toast hanging out of his mouth. He sniffed and coughed to recover himself in front of his mom. 

He forced a smile toward his mom and responded. “That’s why I do it.”

“I don’t know what I did to make you hate me so.” Joan tightened her coat around herself. 

“You want the laundry list or…” Brian rolled his eyes, pushing the button for the elevator. “Why are you here?”

“Well, I was wondering if you could take me to church again on Sunday. But, by the looks of it, you must’ve caught what Claire’s family had.” Joan stood a bit away from Brian with unease.

“It’s called a hangover, mom. But I figured you’d know all about that.” Brian climbed on the elevator. Then, with a sigh, he added, “What time?”

Joan contemplated getting on the elevator with him and then climbed in. 

“Service starts at 10. I want to get there by 9:30 so I can worship in peace.” Joan still stood away from Brian, “Are you sure it’s not the flu?”

Brian rolled his eyes, “Yea, mom. It’s definitely not the flu.” 

A silence fell between them the rest of the ride. Then, in the lobby, Joan turned around again. 

“So, can I expect you on Sunday?”

Brian pinched the bridge of his nose, “Yeah. I’ll be there with bells on at 9:30.”

“9. I want to be there by 9:30.”

“Right, okay. 9.” Brian sighed again, “Bye, mom. I have to get to work.”

Twenty minutes later, Brian was striding past Cynthia’s desk, a look of apology on his face. He wouldn’t ever utter the words “I’m sorry,” but he would definitely still convey them, at least to Cynthia.

“Remson just called. They said they were going to be running about 10 minutes behind schedule.” Cynthia grabbed Brian’s coat from him with one hand while handing him a glass of water with the other. 

She followed Brian into his office and silently watched as he loosened his tie and crumpled into his chair. She had seen many things from Brian since his diagnosis a month ago, but this was probably the worst he’d ever been. Her concern dripped from every word as she spoke to him again, demanding his attention.

“Are you sure you can handle the meeting? I’m sure Ted would have no problem stepping in.” 

Brian was about to respond when the door opened, and Ted popped his head in with a smile, “You rang?!”

Brian rolled his eyes and tried to focus his mind on the account files displayed on his computer. Better that than the war being waged in his gut.

“Yeah, Brian looks a bit peakish, don’t you think?” Cynthia motioned to Brian’s appearance while turning to face Ted. “I was thinking you should cover for him with Remson.”

Ted edged ever closer to Brian’s desk, a look of concern surrounding every single one of his features. 

“He does look a bit pale and clammy. I think maybe you should go home.”

“I appreciate the assessment, Theodore.” Brian finally muttered, looking between his two employees. “I can handle Remson. I’m fine!”

Just then, his stomach did a tremendous lurch, and Brian’s vomit barely made it into the trash can under his desk. Brian heaved a couple of times before his stomach finally seemed to settle down.

“Are you sure, Brian?” Cynthia crinkled her nose as she took his trash into the in-office bathroom to clean it out. “I could easily brief Ted.” She called over her shoulder to the office at large.

She came back into the office, and Brian greeted her with a hand on her shoulder and a fake smile plastered across his face. 

“I’ll be fine. Just be sure there is plenty of water in the conference room. I’ll be there shortly.” Brian went past her toward the bathroom to clean himself up, thought better of it, and turned, “Oh, and Theodore. There is something you can do for me.”

“Yes, boss?” Ted’s face lit up with excitement. 

“You can get these flowers out of my office, not sure who sent them, but they smell horrendous. And you can call my mother and inform her that I won’t be able to take her to church on Sunday after all. I’m sick.” Brian gave Ted a significant look as he said the word sick.

“Of course, Bri.” Ted nodded in understanding, having met Joan on multiple occasions over the years.

Once he was in his bathroom, Brian leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. He felt like utter shit, but he needed to stay the whole day if he didn’t want his employees to be concerned. He was the CEO, and his business was still on the rise. An illness rumor at this venture, no matter how true it would be, wouldn’t do well for future business growth. His mind wandered back to the night before when he’d spent time with Emmett and Justin. Since being diagnosed, his relationship with Emmett had only grown stronger. After fielding concerned questions from practically everyone else in his life, it was nice to know there was one person he could spend time with who wouldn’t hound him about his health.

“So, how’s work?” Emmett had waggled his eyebrow and winked at Justin.

“You know I’ve been struggling to get my art department to fall into line. Each ad campaign takes ages and multiple redos to get the mockups even mostly correct.” Brian sighed and sat down on a stool next to Justin.

“That’s fine. I mean, you are a newer business. These things take time.” Emmett reached out and gently placed his hand over Brian’s.

Out of the corner of his eye, Brian saw Justin sitting on his stool, staring into the tumbler of whiskey in his hand.

“I know, but Kinnetik won’t have anywhere to grow if I don’t make waves now. I need to pull in the big clients to just break even.” Brian pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed in through it to steady the nausea that was starting to come back. Maybe that shot of whiskey had been a bad idea.

Justin didn’t move, so Brian gently nudged his foot. The blond looked up and stared into Brian’s brown eyes with his blue ones.

“You okay? You wanna leave?” Brian knew that it was about this time in terms of intimacy the week before that Justin had bolted. It just seemed natural to him that Justin would appreciate someone checking in.

Justin shook his head and dropped his gaze. Brian exchanged a look with Emmett, who looked extremely concerned about this kid. Brian knew a deeper conversation with his friend was on the horizon, but thankfully, it wouldn’t be tonight. No, tonight was meant to ease Justin’s mind and give Brian a chance to unwind from the horrendous few days he’d been having.

Brian splashed some water on his face, dried it off, and headed out to meet the Remson reps in the conference room. He made a mental note to have Cynthia field all his calls until noon; that way, he could possibly lie on his couch and rest for a bit before diving into some of the work that had been piling up.

He made it all the way through his pitch with Remson without vomiting or making anyone think he was anything less than perfect. If any of his artists or designers in the meeting noticed anything, it was that he might be a touch hungover, which wasn’t anything new. Even Cynthia’s demeanor seemed to ease considerably the longer Brian stood and presented the new campaign to their customer. So much so that by the end of the meeting, she was smiling at him as if it were a typical day. 

Brian shook the hands of the Remson folks as he saw them to the door. Then, he walked back toward his office with Cynthia on his heels. 

“Cyn, could you please hold all my calls until noon and don’t let anyone past your desk either.” Brian snapped. There were a few straggler artists still following them, and he didn’t want to give anything away.

“Of course, Mr. Kinney. If Michael or Lindsay call?” He knew by her tone she was just asking out of courtesy.

“Hold all my calls,” Brian repeated sternly.

She nodded, left him at his office door, and returned to her desk. 

BREAK

Brian was behind his desk once more, having laid on his couch to sleep for about an hour. The anxiety of knowing he had so much work to do kept him from truly sleeping the amount he should have. It was just as well because a few minutes after he started to look over the campaign contract they were going to send over to Eyeconic Optics, Cynthia came into his office with an apologetic look on her face. She had a glass of water in her hand, too, which could mean nothing good.

“I know you said you didn’t want to be bothered before noon, but two things need your attention. Leo Brown is on the phone saying he wants to talk. Do you think he’s wanting to come over to us?” Cynthia’s gaze turned to excitement at the possibility of such a large account.

Brian gave her his signature Cynthia smile. “Perhaps, but tell him I’m not in. Let him stew a bit, and I will call him back tomorrow.”

Cynthia nodded, put the glass down on his desk, and whispered in his ear, “And there’s a kid I’ve never seen before but says that he knows you. He looks like the artist type. Are we hiring a new intern?”

The moment she said he looked like an artist type, Brian knew she must mean Justin. There wasn’t anything specific about that descriptor, but something told him it was because the only things he’d ever seen Justin wear were jeans and graphic tees with paint on them.

“Either that or he's one of your tricks who doesn’t know a rejection. Should I send him packing?” Cynthia continued as she walked around Brian’s desk to face him head-on.

Brian gave a small nod of his head. “Send him in.”

Cynthia stood back and gave him an incredulous look, “But, Brian…” Then she leaned over his desk to get within inches of Brian’s face, “People will talk.”

“About what?” Brian scoffed, “Please just send him in.” Then he turned his attention back to his computer screen and the work that awaited his approval.

Sure enough, moments later, Justin, with hunched shoulders and his hands buried deep in his pockets, shuffled into Brian’s spacious office. He huddled by the door and refused to make eye contact at first, even when he spoke.

“I’m sorry to show up at your job. I just…” Justin paused and pulled his right hand out of his pocket. Brian noticed it was shaking and that Justin’s whole body had tensed up.

Brian lept out of his chair and moved closer to Justin. He didn’t want to get too close and spook the kid, but he also worried that something was wrong.

“Are you alright?” Brian asked, standing about 2 feet from Justin, who still wasn’t making eye contact.

“Yeah.” Justin rubbed his hand as it continued to spasm, “This is a regular occurrence since my bashing. Nerve damage, one doctor said, minor seizures was another one’s opinion.” Justin shrugged his shoulder.

“Fuck. And I thought my radiation side effects were brutal.” Brian brought his left hand up to his lips in a fist and bit on the top of his thumb, never once taking his eyes off Justin.

After a few moments, his hand calmed down, and Justin finally looked up.

“As I was saying. I am sorry for bothering you at work, but I was feeling particularly untethered today and…” Just trailed off again with another shrug of his shoulders.

“You wanted a familiar face?” Brian tried.

Justin nodded, “Plus, Daphne’s studying for her MCAT, so I’m kind of living alone at the moment, and that’s sometimes even more terrifying than being stuck in the center of a huge crowd.”

Brian backed away from the blond giving him space to move as he offered, “You can hang out here. It’s nothing exciting, but I do have a couch.”

Justin’s face lit up, and a smile stretched across his face, bigger than any Brian had ever seen before. It warmed his heart, knowing he had helped Justin have even a slightly good day. Brian sat back down behind his desk, watched as Justin slowly made his way to the couch, and sat down on it. The two began to exist in perfect silence for the next half hour. A few minutes after he sat down, Justin toed his shoes off, curled up into a ball on the couch, and fell asleep. Brian continued to work, hoping his phone wouldn’t ring so that the kid could sleep. It seemed like he really needed it.

Brian was looking over the month-end revenue and expense reports when he noticed an accounting error. While accounting wasn’t something he was a genius at, hence why he hired Theodore, he did still know the basics enough to spot errors. He picked up his phone and pressed the button to reach Ted’s office.

“Theodore, could you come to my office, please? I need to discuss the reports with you.”

“Right away, Mr. Kinney.” Theodore’s voice came through the phone in that excited, people-pleasing manner he was famous for.

Just as Ted arrived in his office, Brian felt the telltale signs that he needed to be in the bathroom right away. He smiled at Ted in his rush to get there in time. He sighed in relief after the vomiting was over. A hand floated in front of his face with a tissue in it. Brian looked up and found Ted.

“Here you go,” Theodore forced a smile while his eyes swam with concern.

“Would you knock it off? I’m fine. This new development in my life means I’m visiting the porcelain throne every few hours, sooner if I eat too much.” Brian glared at Theodore as he stepped around him and headed back into his office.

“Mr. Kinney, I apologize. It’s just. This is the second time today, and I’m a natural worrier.”

“Jesus, what the fuck is with all the Mr. Kinney bullshit?” Brian hissed as he took a sip of water from the glass on his desk. He glanced toward Justin to see the blond was still fast asleep.

“Well, I, uh.” Theodore floundered and then pulled himself together. “It’s the professional thing to do when it isn’t just the two of us.” His eyes motioned to Justin’s form on the couch.

“Oh, him? Don’t worry about him. He’s asleep.” Brian rolled his eyes. “So, stop with the Mr. Kinney shit. It’s Brian.”

“Of course, Brian.” Ted stuttered, wringing his hands anxiously.

“Anyway, I was looking at our expense report, and I noticed you carried this figure,” Brian pointed to Line Item C. “And this one,” Brian pointed to Line Item E. “Incorrectly.”

Theodore leaned in to look over Brian’s shoulder and he knew the minute the man saw it because he gasped, somewhat dramatically.

“Oh my god. I totally missed that. I’m so sorry, Brian. It won’t happen again, please don’t fire me.” Theodore started to grovel, which gave Brian a headache.

“Shut up!” He snapped unnecessarily. Brian then took a breath and tried again. “It’s okay, Ted. It’s an easy fix. This is why I review the reports every month.”

Then, for good measure, Brian added, “Breathe.”

Theodore nodded and stepped away from Brian. He walked around the desk and sat down in one of Brian’s chairs. 

“Was there anything else you needed?” Ted asked, looking terrified.

Brian simply shook his head. Then, in a flash, Ted was gone. As the door shut behind him, Justin stirred, stretched his arms, and woke up.

“You rest okay?” Brian asked in a soft, gentle tone.

Justin looked around and rubbed his face. Then he leaned into his hands and groaned.

“I can’t believe I fell asleep. I hope I wasn’t in the way.”

Brian looked the blond man over. It definitely meant something that this kid thought simply sitting or sleeping on a couch was in the way. Brian didn’t know much about Justin’s parents or how he was raised, but the kid’s dad definitely did a number on him.

Brian got up from his desk and sat down on the edge of the couch, furthest away from Justin, so as not to spook him. The blond was just sitting there, staring at the floor, his eyes unblinking.

“I want you to know you can always come here. No questions asked. You’ll never be in the way.” Brian wanted desperately to place a reassuring hand on Justin, but based on his body language he could tell it wouldn’t go over well.

[thalassarche]

So, I'm sleepless at 1am and I'm tired and I'm upset so I'm going to get out the shit that has been going on for me the past month and a half, because it keeps leaking out in tags and I guess maybe I should not do that. This is going to be long and it's a huge bummer. I just don't feel like I can come out and talk about it directly to anyone because it is indeed a huge bummer and I just. can't deal with like. the feeling of unloading this on someone and then what. but throwing it into the tumblr void and hiding it behind cuts feels less like I'm throwing a bunch of gross stuff at someone's feet so like, yeah. Content warnings for uh, facing the mortality of aging parents, the American healthcare system being a fucking nightmare, mentions of strokes, infections, and other huge medical problems, and basically stuff being awful.

I have lived with my mom as her caregiver for the past three years, since losing my job during covid. She is six years in remission from breast cancer, diabetic, and in end stage renal failure, meaning her kidneys don't work and she needs hemodialysis 3 days a week. I came in mostly to do things like shopping, the majority of cooking and cleaning, be present in case of falls, things like that. It's worked out, mostly. It sucks that she had to move to AZ to live near her brother simply due to the fact that her cozy little house in MT that she got remodeled to her needs has no dialysis centers within an hour's drive and the closest ones had no open seats anyway, not even for a summer stay, because of the nationwide nursing and technician shortage in healthcare. So she lives in AZ and goes to dialysis 10 minutes away. It works out, sorta. But. Since August 1st:

she had a stroke, which affected the language centers of her brain and made speech, writing, and complex communication difficult

she spent a week in neuro ICU for follow up; this was at a hospital 20 miles away in Phoenix. yes I drove there every day to see her.

she was transferred to a rehabilitation center after that week, where she had several good days but then started to experience severe lower back pain.

the back pain got so severe that she was crying and even screaming when being helped into/out of bed, or having the head of the bed elevated so she could eat.

myself and her other present family were very upset about this, because she was in pain! and also it was preventing progress in her PT/OT after the stroke! we wanted them to do something and find out what was going on!

an xray was done. "no significant findings."

we asked for a CT scan or MRI if an xray found nothing.

it didn't happen. maybe insurance said no, maybe assumptions were made that it wasn't necessary.

but mom spent the rest of her 15 days at that rehab facility on tylenol and then oxycodone.

she was then discharged, and yet in no state to come home.

we found a short-term care facility for her that she'd actually stayed at after her initial ER stay that discovered her renal failure. we thought that she'd do okay there.

she didn't. she declined. she was still in severe pain. MWF for her dialysis, she was basically just, done. and they had scheduled her dialysis at 6am. so. the day was just over, no ability for therapy.

they still just gave her oxycodone so even on good days she was sleeping a lot and very out of it.

we asked to speak to the physician and her case worker. we were not able to.

we asked for her to get further testing instead of just this pattern of throwing narcotics at her and watching her decline. it didn't happen.

at the end of her second week there, she was becoming less responsive and more inclined to just sleep.

she wasn't eating. I tried so hard to encourage her to eat, I even fed her. she still would eat a few bites and then be uninterested in more.

one day she only ate a cup of yogurt.

then she was so badly out of it and barely responsive that I demanded that they do something. so they gave her narcan. because maybe she was too lost in the oxycodone sauce. didn't help, they gave her more. didn't help. they called EMTs.

she ended up in the ER, where they did a CT, MRI, and bloodwork.

(this was a week ago)

turns out she has an infection in her spine. which is osteomyelitis, an infection in the bone and bone marrow that just constantly hurts. oh also numerous pressure sores, including a bad one on her heel, and a bad one on her lower back. either could have introduced the infection into her spine.

that infection has spread to her blood. yeah she's got sepsis.

she also has had at least one additional stroke and her speech has degraded even further.

she spent several days in the ICU and it was very touch and go.

it is still very touch-and-go but she's now in progressive care (pcu) which is a downgrade from ICU in terms of how serious.

but yeah. sepsis is very dangerous for young and relatively healthy people. she is 74. her diabetes means her healing is very slow. her renal failure means that her system can't handle a heavy load of antibiotics so they have to be given more spaced out and in lower doses.

it. sucks.

I still go to see her every day and talk to her even if she's not responding. I sing songs she knows. I put on videos of the church services in her hometown for her to listen to. - it. sucks. so. much.

oh yeah also her place here in AZ is in a retirement park and I can only be here because she resides here. so if something happens even in terms of her moving her permanent residence elsewhere I can't stay here.

I have no income I basically just lived here with her and she covered my expenses as my pay for being her caregiver. so like. looks at the potential need to get independent housing, looks at bank account with $30 in it, laughs darkly and decides I can't think about that.

besides I need to think about how this could be the last time I have left with my mom.

it. sucks.

[nanoland]

new chapter (lucifer fic)

Ponder on the Narrow House, part 6 

Mazikeen/Eve/Michael  

(Whole thing can be read on AO3.) 

0  

Fuck the next bounty.

After thinking about it for ten seconds, Mazikeen turned them around and started driving straight for Los Angeles.

Eve can talk to him. Not me. He needs to talk to someone, and Eve will do.

Barely half a mile later, Amenadiel dropped out of the sky and landed in the middle of the road, just far enough away for her to bring the car to a screeching halt before it would otherwise have slammed into him like wet clay into a steel wall.

“We’ve got a problem,” he said, looking exhausted.

She snorted and pointed skyward. “Yeah. This? Not gonna lie, I was expecting something like this. But I thought it would take, like, at least a month.”

Wincing, Amenadiel said, “No, that’s… that’s a different problem and Chloe’s promised to discuss it with him. Maze, we need you back at Lux. Now.”

“Hi, Amenadiel!” Eve called, waving.

He succeeded in smiling at her without even glancing at Michael, despite his younger brother sitting right at her side, glaring fixedly.

“Why?” demanded Mazikeen, tensely drumming her fingers on the wheel. (Inner voice hissing, Shouldn’t have left him alone, you dumb bitch, you’ve been doing this for centuries and you know what he’s like when you leave him alone for more than five minutes.) “Seriously – what could he possibly need me for? He’s God.”

Sighing, Amenadiel put his wings away. “Mazikeen, we’re all well aware that Lucy often… has difficulty focusing. To put it mildly. There’s a lot more for him to focus on now than ever before. He’s trying to undo climate change. To that end, he started refreezing all the melted ice in the Arctic. But he did it too quickly and, resultantly, there are several hundred trapped ships we need to save and several thousand dead penguins to resurrect and, to be honest, he hasn’t really got the hang of resurrection yet – you remember what Dan looked like for the first few hours after Lucifer brought him back to life…”

“Eurgh. Yeah. Yuck. Totes not the kinda shit you’d wanna see in Happy Feet.”

Michael was snickering.

“Right. And then there are all the changes he’s been making locally,” Amenadiel went on. “The expansion of Lux, the overnight disappearance of all Los Angeles’ firearms, his deciding that the city’s white supremacist population should grow a third ear so they can be easily identified, and, well, it turns out that a lot of Chloe’s colleagues at the police station-…”

“I get it, I get it. Chaos everywhere. As usual. What, exactly, is the problem he wants me to fix?”

Amenadiel exhaled heavily. “The demons. The ones you brought from Hell to help us defeat Michael.”

“Oh, so you do remember I exist,” Michael muttered.

Stonily ignoring him, Amenadiel said, “They’re still on Earth and they’re causing trouble. The one called Dromos, in particular. He’s gathered followers and they’ve surrounded Lux.”

Her brother’s face – his real face, not the human puppet he wore – flashed through her mind’s eye; a memory from when they were unruly children and had raced through Hell together, using the stone pillars that they’d not yet known were cells as an obstacle course. She’d been faster; he, more athletic. Together with a few cousins, they’d made a fearsome team, and not even their meanest older siblings had bullied them.

She folded her arms and looked away. “They’re demons. Lucifer can deal with them. Snap his fingers and turn them into rats or whatever. Make them explode.”

“Mazikeen,” Eve murmured, soft and low, touching her shoulder. “You don’t want that. They’re your family.”

Amenadiel blinked, as though that hadn’t occurred to him. “Er… yes, there’s that. There’s also the fact that Lucifer doesn’t want all of humanity to see him as the type of God who casually annihilates his enemies; a harsh, vindictive God. He wants to be liked. To be loved.”

“Fine. So why don’t you and the other angels sort it out?”

“Come now, Maze. A bunch of angels and a bunch of demons waging war in the midst of a bustling city? Humans will die. But you’re the Queen of Hell now and, by extension, the Queen of Demons. If you command Dromos to stand down, he will. This can all be resolved peacefully.”

Eve’s fingertips were cool against her skin.

Mazikeen looked back at the sky. The cloud letters were starting to dissolve. “What does he want?”

“Who?”

“Dromos. He doesn’t act on instinct. He’s a planner. He wants something.”

Shrugging, Amenadiel said, “He shouted at me about demanding an audience with the king. I didn’t ask for details. I don’t really care. Dromos isn’t someone I’m inclined to listen to at the best of times. The last time the wretch showed his face on Earth, he kidnapped my son.”

“Mmm. Kinda like your sister was gonna do. Kinda like you were gonna do, now that I think about it.”

“Maze!” he gasped, sounding shocked and hurt. “You can’t compared poor Remiel’s misguided actions to-…”

“I’ll do it,” she interrupted. “Take me to Lux. Now.”

“Excuse me? What about us?” snapped Michael.

Mazikeen met Eve’s gentle gaze. “You don’t need to be involved in this. My family drama, it – it’s not pretty.”

“My son killed my son,” said Eve, taking her hand. “My husband loved another woman. I’m used to drama.”

Swallowing, Mazikeen glanced at Michael. “And you, wimp?”

Feigning disinterest – feigning it badly – he said, “You showed up to my last domestic dispute. Guess this’ll make us square.”

“I’ve only got two arms. I can’t carry all of you,” Amenadiel pointed out.

Mazikeen rubbed her chin. “No… but you can carry the car, right?”

0

He didn’t have time for this. There was so much to do.

“World hunger,” he recited as he bounced from one laptop to the next, all twenty-three of them displaying a different article or video by a leading scientific or sociological mind, “wealth inequality, pollution, cancer, droughts, racism, elderly abuse, housing shortages, cruelty to animals…”

“Lucifer,” said Linda patiently, sitting on his best couch with her legs crossed, a cup of coffee and a laptop of her own beside her. “You said you wanted my advice as to how you should manage this whole ‘being God’ business.”

“I do, doctor! Very much. Your input is invaluable. Blast, where did I put that map of Alaska? I’m thinking of making it bigger; slotting it in alongside the Arctic to help stabilise all that new ice.”

“Right. Thanks. So here – here is what I’m suggesting now; slow down. Seriously. Take a breath, step back, and think your next move through.”

He scoffed. “‘Slow down’? Doctor, I need to work at least three times faster if I’m to keep up with everything. There are people suffering everywhere, millions of them! There are sinners in need of punishment! I’m seriously considering asking Chloe to be my Deputy God. I never imagined omnipotence would entail so much paperwork and she’s always been better at that than me.”

Outside the penthouse, many stories below, the chanting grew louder. None of the human police officers, journalists, and gawkers who’d gathered to watch could understand it; it was in Lilim.

Cursing, Lucifer strode to the balcony and shouted down, “For the last time, would you all kindly piss off? I’m trying to fix an entire planet here!”

He heard the elevator open and moaned. “Detective, not now. Please. I’m very sorry I haven’t returned your calls – I swear I’m not avoiding you – it’s just that I’ve got a lot on my plate today and we did already agree to meet for supper at-…”

“Lucifer,” said Linda, sounding terrified.

“Lucifer,” said someone else, sounding irritable.

Now that he was God, rage didn’t turn his eyes red anymore. It turned them gold and blindingly bright, like spotlights. Fists clenched, he turned to see Dromos step into the penthouse, once again clad in the flesh of the late Father Kinley and wearing a leather jacket.

“Nice trick, making all the doors disappear. Finally decided to climb up the side of the building with a sledgehammer and burrow my way through into the elevator shaft,” said the demon, hands in his pockets and concrete dust coating his beard and his bald head. “I want to talk to you, sire.”

Storming across the room while Linda remained frozen, white-faced, on the couch, Lucifer snarled, “You! You have the nerve to come here, to stand before me, after what you did to my nephew?”

He took Dromos by the neck and lifted him off the ground, his wings opening in fury (he had six of them now).

Stoical even as he choked, Dromos said, “I need. To talk. I will leave immediately afterwards.”

“Oh, you’ll leave, alright! You’ll be lucky if I don’t throw you into an active volcano, you accursed traitor!”

Dromos’ stolen skin began to sizzle beneath his fingers. He waited until the demon’s face was wrinkled with pain before throwing him to the floor hard enough to crack the wood and make a crater.

“I will leave,” Dromos gasped, coughing up blood, “when I have spoken.”

“What could you possibly have to say for yourself? Kidnapper. Child-thief.”

Still on the couch, Linda said tremulously, “Lucifer, you’re… you’re hurting him. Stop it. Please.”

“Let us stay!” shouted Dromos, and coughed again before dragging himself up onto his knees. “On Earth. That’s what I came to say. Let your erstwhile subjects stay on Earth if they choose – at least, those who served you in the battle against Michael. Don’t force them to return to Hell. Let them, let us choose where we live, going forward. That’s my request, your Majesty. My only request.”

Lucifer boggled at him. “Is that a joke? Demons? On Earth, indefinitely, unsupervised? Are you out of your tiny mind, Dromos?”

Baring teeth, Dromos said, “Why not? What does it matter to you now? You’ve got everything you could possibly want. Everything anyone could possibly want! All we’re asking is the freedom to come and go as we please.”

“No.”

He spoke the word bluntly, and then he stepped back, adjusting his cuffs. Regaining his composure. “Never. You’re dangerous and untrustworthy. This world is for humans, not you. Good grief, haven’t I got enough to preoccupy my mind, without the added stress of demons rampaging around town?”

“We won’t rampage. We just-…”

“Why are you even coming to me with this? Mazikeen’s the new Queen of Hell. Didn’t you get the memo?”

Dromos wiped blood from his lips. “I don’t know if my sister and I are on speaking terms right now. And she may be Queen, but you’re God; I assumed you would be tasked with such decisions. After all, there’s never been a demon in charge of Hell before. We were told – we were always told – that only angels could rule us. I don’t doubt Mazikeen’s competence, but I…”

He seemed to run out of steam, spreading his hands and finishing weakly, “Lucifer, you’re the king. You’ve been the king for millions of years. For my entire life. Look, if you really don’t want us leaving Hell, then can you at least use your newfound power to improve it? Let us have the things mortals enjoy? Pianos, dogs, blankets, weekends, all that stuff?”

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “That would rather defeat the purpose, wouldn’t it? Hell is supposed to be a place of punishment. The ultimate consequence awaiting sinners. I need a carrot and a stick, Dromos. How else am I supposed to convince people to behave if I don’t? Imagine a rapist arriving in Hell and being confronted with demons playing pianos and walking their dogs. Wouldn’t have quite the desired effect, would it?”

Dromos was quiet for a moment, then said without inflection, “Perhaps you could find somewhere else to put rapists. Somewhere other than our home.”

Throwing up his arms, Lucifer said, “More demands! Don’t you see how selfish you’re being? Here I am, doing my best to end all suffering, and you’re complaining about babysitting a few evil-doers – which, might I remind you, is your job. Nay, your very reason for existence. Always has been. Why’re you getting stroppy about it now?”

“I think,” Linda began, taking a tentative step forward before stopping and clearing her throat. “Excuse me. May I interrupt? Um. Okay, so I think that maybe Dromos has a point here, Lucifer.”

“Doctor! This is the creature that stole your baby!”

“Yes, I know. And I’m not saying I forgive him for that, but…”

“I wasn’t going to eat the brat,” Dromos grumbled. “I was going to make him a king.”

“You took him away from his mother!” Lucifer shouted.

“Gentlemen!” said Linda, sharply. “Please! Let’s try to talk this through like adults.”

Overcome with frustration, and only vaguely aware that he’d not been sleeping well lately, Lucifer kicked the nearest chair. “I can’t believe you’re siding with him, doctor.”

“I’m not siding with anyone. I-…”

“You don’t know these people like I do. You didn’t spend millions of years in Hell alongside them. The only demon you’ve ever gotten acquainted with is Maze, and she’s not like the others; even without a soul, she’s learned how to behave like a more-or-less civilised adult, barring the occasional tantrum. But your average, baseline demon has nothing to them besides wrath and cruelty. Lilith made them to be weapons and that’s all they really are. I mean – just imagine, for a moment, how hard it was for me. To go from the Silver City, the most beautiful place ever created, to a lightless nightmare realm full of these bloodthirsty animals. To be surrounded by them, for endless eons, while they nattered mindlessly on and on about how much they love torture and pain and…”  

He trailed off. Linda and Dromos were both looking past him.

To the elevator. Where – oh – Mazikeen was standing.

Where Mazikeen was crying.

No sobs, not like when Dan had died. No expression at all, really. Just open eyes, motionless muscles, and steady tears.

Before Lucifer could say a word, she pressed the button to close the elevator doors.

“Wait!” he yelped, sprinting over to stop them.

He needn’t have bothered. Now that he was God, objects did whatever he told them to do. The doors stilled, half-open.

“That sounded wrong,” he acknowledged, clasping her shoulders in apology. “You completely missed the context. What I was trying to say was-…”

“Don’t touch me.”

It was a phrase he’d heard many times before from mortal lovers to whom he had accidentally revealed his Devil Face. Some of them said it in horror. Some of them, the religious ones, said it in anger.

Mazikeen looked neither horrified nor angry. She looked sick. As though the very sight of him turned her stomach.

Lumbering over, Dromos stepped into the elevator alongside her and pointedly pressed the button again. With no idea what to do or say, Lucifer allowed the machinery to work.

The elevator closed.

“What have I done?” he asked Linda.

0

Nothing I didn’t know.

“Maze?” called Eve, waiting by the car with the others as Mazikeen stepped out of Lux’s front door and into the sunlight.

The door hadn’t been there when they’d arrived. She’d been forced to use Dromos’ route. Lucifer must have decided to put it back. He could do that now. Just decide things. Didn’t need servants, nor followers, nor anyone. Sure didn’t need a ‘more-or-less civilised adult’ whose kin were animals.

“Maze! Wait!”

Mazikeen didn’t know where she was going, only that she was walking very quickly and felt that she’d die if she stopped. She heard Eve’s heels patter on the pavement and heard her say her name a third time, quiet and worried, and that was what stilled her feet.

���What happened?” murmured Eve, cupping her face.

The fifty or so demons who’d been standing around outside Lux when Amenadiel had set the car and its passengers down were still there. Instead of chanting to get their king’s attention, they were now looking at her.

Michael and Amenadiel stood among them, the latter having been trying to convince them to stop blocking traffic.

Which was what she should have been doing. It was what he’d brought her here to do. But she’d been gripped by a sudden, violent need to see Lucifer, to check on him, just quickly, before tending to her siblings. Once a bodyguard, always a bodyguard.

Except that wasn’t what I was. Not to him. To him, I was a Rottweiler on a leash.

“Are you alright?” asked Amenadiel, his eyes overflowing with concern.

That was what cracked her.

To him. Not to everyone. Not to Eve, or Amenadiel, or Linda. It’s not that I’m incapable of earning love and respect.

I’m just incapable of earning his.

Her legs gave out. She crumpled against Lux’s outside wall and started to weep properly, loud and bitter.

Eve immediately dropped down beside her, holding her tight. Michael shuffled closer, rubbing his shoulder while his mouth opened and shut, testing out sentences that were never spoken.

Then Dromos was there, kneeling, his face sad and tired.

“We did what we were told,” she said to him in Lilim, through sniffles. “We obeyed. We were loyal. We… we…”

“We are alone, sister,” he replied. “But I think we always were.”

“We obeyed!”

“We obeyed Lilith and she left. We obeyed Lucifer and he left. No one wants us, Mazikeen. It’s just the truth.”

She took a shuddering breath and squeezed her eyes shut. “No. I want us.”

Seizing his jacket’s shoulder, she hauled herself to her feet and addressed the crowd, her voice raw: “I want you! You’re my family and I want you! And I swear I will be the queen you deserve, for as long as you’ll have me!”

Her human skin fell away, the left side of her face turning cold, bony, and brittle.

Stepping back to join their siblings, Dromos asked hesitantly, “What would you have us do, then, my queen? What are your orders?”

Hurriedly drying her eyes, she studied them one by one. “Whoever wants to can stay here. But I’m going home. Hell is going to be ours, Dromos. No more damned souls. No more angels. It’s ours now and we’re going to make it into something we can love.”

She turned to face Eve and Michael, her heart pounding. “You’ll come with me, yeah? You’ll stand with me?”

“Always,” said Eve, closing in to kiss her.

“Whatever,” Michael muttered, clearly just relieved that the crying part was over.

Amenadiel sighed, shaking his head gravely. “Mazikeen, are you sure this is what you want? You won’t be able to leave Hell on your own – you’ll need to contact me.”

“Yeah. At least until this one grows his feathers back,” she said, gesturing at Michael. “That’s okay. You’ll always come when I call, right?”

“Of course. You’re my friend, Maze. I’m sorry if I haven’t said that often enough.”

Fuck it. Cringing on the inside, Mazikeen drew Amenadiel into a quick, gruff hug. “You too, idiot.”

[narrowtriangle33-blog]

This is the karma of Working Class white people.

"“Sorry, not sorry. These people are not worthy of any sympathy. They have run around for decades bitching about poor minorities not “working hard enough,” or that their situation is “their own fault.” Well guess what? It’s not so great when it’s you now, is it? Bunch of deplorables, and if they die quicker than the rest of us that just means the country will be better off in the long run.”

“Is it bad news or good news? Middle aged undereducated white Americans are Donald Trump’s base. They brought us this clown and ensuing insanity. It’s bad news they are dying off if you happen to love one of them or are one of them. But, it’s the welcome news of hope that without that demographic dwindling and eventually gone, our chances of another Trump are significantly less. Now that’s good news.”

“maybe they should takt the advice they used to give minorities, take responsibilty and pull up your boot straps,only when it’s your boot straps you find it’s not so easy as a sound byte.”

“Hey as long as those white people keep voting republican they will continue to die off….. How stupid could you be….”

“I don’t see much profit in planning on them ever voting democrat. However, there can be progress in forcing them to eat the shit they’ve been feeding other people for so long.”

“I for one have little sympathy for these despairing whites. If they can’t compete against people of color when everything has been rigged in their favor, then there’s really no help for them. Trump and his G(r)OPers will do little to elevate their lot. If anything, these poor whites will be hired to dig grave pits and assemble their own coffins.”

“They have every know advantage in America; culturally, environmentally, educationally, etc. There is absolutely no reason that they should be in such despair. They should pull themselves up by their bootstraps.”

“As long as it only affected minorities, whether it was jobs, drugs, or a decent life it was an non issue. We were told by these very people that we were being to sensitive and not really trying to get a job, or the worst bs of all that we just wanted to have a free handout rather than ever work a real job. Well you know what, karma is a bitch and if these people choose to continue to vote Republican and try to deny other from attaining the American dream, they deserve no better than what they are getting!”

“Wow! You’re really going to sit on your unearned perch of white privilege and tell us, US?, people of color that WE? are standing above them and “sneering down” at them. These people are the white racist who voted in a white racist as president. And you want us to look upon our oppressors as victims? And seriously you show your own arrogant racism with your whitesplaining ‘splaining?” comment. You’ve got some serious nerve trying to use our own terms against us in a blind bid to have us feel sorry for the vile racist oppressors of this so called society.”

“I agree it’s sad. And likely it is due to the collapse of the structure they built based on entitlement. Males of other races have had the same challenges the whole time, and have been told to suck it up buttercup. Time for these guys to take a dose of the same medicine they’ve been doling out for years.”

“Those numbers ain’t even real. They are made up by the white supremacist power structure to make the over privileged oppressors look like some kind of victim. It’s sick, and disgusting. It’s the same kind of crap they do with crime statistics. They try to make us, POC, the victims of white hate and oppression for centuries. Look like the criminal minded victimizers and the racist white power structure {ie the white population from top to bottom, upper, middle and lower class alike} look like victims.”

“One feels maybe a modicum of sympathy for those “white, poorly educated, middle-age Americans”. One does not wish for one’s fellow citizens to suffer. But, those same “white, poorly educated middle age Americans” need to own up to their responsibility, if not complicity, in their own predicament. This is what happens when you vote for Republicans to public office. Republicans are a disease, a pestilence, a cancer on the American body politic. Republicans do not give one goddam whit about “white, poorly educated, middle age Americans”. Republicans only care about their wealthy, corporate benefactors. Republicans only care about inflicting harm and suffering on everyone who is not elite or wealthy. Stop voting Republicans into office. Start voting in people who have your best interests in heart and at hand. Otherwise, continue to feel this despair white America. Republicans will NEVER help you overcome your economic plight.”

“In the 60 ‘s &, 70 ‘s these people didn’t have to compete for jobs .they got jobs because they were white even when blacks were more ,qualified. . Now it’s a knowledge economy and more minorities are getting higher education. .For years these same people voted against their own interests by voting Republican.. No they’re reaping what they sow.”

“Difficult to have any sympathy when My coverage is threatened because ignorant white trash are too stupid to know that the ACA and Evil Obamacare are the same thing. The factories closed down forty years ago. If you didn’t leave Detroit or Erie or Kentucky as I did to stay current you need blame no one but yourself.”

“This is where standing around basking in white privilege and chanting USA! USA! USA! when presented with differing and challenging opinions for decades has taken them. You have to go out and make things happen for yourself, change jobs and even move if necessary to make a better life sometimes. Nobody who wasn’t born straight and white fails to understand this. These people would rather project their own failures and shortcomings onto minority groups, buying into myths about non-existent welfare queens and trickle-down economics and all of the other snake oil sold by the right and wallow in nostalgia over how “great” (for them) everything was in the 1950s when they could pull themselves into the 21st century.”"

[amylillian22]

Life Is Too Damn Short - Chris Evans Imagine

Word Count: 1,969

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: Grieving, Hints of sex, Mentions of Chadwick’s death

Author's Note: Rest in Power Chad✊🏽

I sat down and opened the pizza box. Before I could take my first bite, the power went out. I groaned as I turned on my flashlight on my phone. I dropped my slice of pizza and began to look for a better flashlight or candles. I opened the hallway closet only to find out I didn't have either one. My phone vibrated in my hand, signaling a new text message.

Neighbor: You okay?

My lips formed a small smile before responding. Yup. I got my trusty flashlight on my iPhone

Neighbor: 🙄🙄🙄 Not exactly helpful Neighbor: Come over. I got plenty of candles.

I wanted to respond back with a stupid remark. Something along the lines of, 'of course you would have candles from entertaining all your late night lady friends'. Except, I fought against that idea and simply responded with, 'On my way!'

I grabbed my XL pizza box and walked out the door, not thinking about locking it behind me. I took a couple of steps before knocking at the door across from my apartment.

"Took you long enough!" Chris exaggerated with a bright flashlight in his hands, nearly blinding me. He quickly perked up when he saw the pizza box in my hand. "You brought dinner?"

"Yeah. It was easier to order the XL since it waa their special tonight," I said as I let myself in and made my way to his kitchen with the help of Chris' flashlight guiding me. "The delivery guy dropped it off a couple of minutes before the power went out. Oh shit," I stopped in my tracks.

"What? What happened?" Chris asked immediately.

"I hope he didn't get stuck in the elevator."

"Geez. That would be terrifying. Let's hope he made it out before the power went out."

We sat by the window in the nook Chris had in his kitchen. We talked and laughed as we eat the pizza. Chris playfully scolded me every time I gave Dodger a piece of my crust. After we watched the sunset, his apartment was completely dark. I followed Chris with a flashlight in my hand as he lit candles in his bedroom. Dodger circled around on top of his bed a couple of times before laying down.

"Alright, there we go. That's the last one," Chris said as he blew out the match.

I turned off the flashlight and sat in the edge of his bed. "I'm not surprised you have this many candles in your bedroom."

"Really?" He asked before sitting down next to me.

I gave him a teasing smile, "I see all those girls you bring back."

Chris rolled his eyes. "They mean nothing. Besides, I haven't brought anyone back in months."

"I've noticed." He didn't say anything, but I wasn't ready to drop the subject just yet. "Why did you stop?"

He let out a deep frustrated sigh and leaned back until his back touched his bed. "I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. I realized as much as I'm scared of commitment, that's not what I wanted."

I nodded, completely understanding his reasoning before I fell back to lay down as well.

"What about you?"

I let out a small chuckle. "What about me?"

"I never see you with anyone or bringing a guy home."

I turned to face him, "you spying on me, Mr. Evans?"

"Only in the same way you've been spying on me," he chuckled back.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "A combination of not finding the right guy and commitment issues too, I guess."

Chris held his gaze with mine. His eyes were soft and gentle. Even in the dark with a couple of candles on, they were mesmerizing. Beautiful and deep.

"What?" He whispered.

I smiled and shook my head. "You'll laugh at me."

His lips stretched wide, into that beautiful smile of his. "Tell me. I promise I won't laugh."

My smile vanished and my heart rate began to pick up as I thought of the two words I wanted to tell him. I swallowed hard and slowly reached out for his cheek. His smile disappeared as my thumb traced along his cheek bone.

"You're beautiful," I whispered. Chris didn't say anything, which scared me. I thought maybe I had somehow screwed up and ruin the friendly neighbor friendship we had.

I began to pull my hand away, but Chris stopped me. He placed my hand back on his cheek. Again, I slowly traced my thumb against his cheek bone. His hand slid down to my wrist, holding it gently before it slowly made its away down my arm, over my shoulder and ended on my hip.

"I lied," he whispered as I felt his the pad of his thumb circling against my bare skin just above my yoga pants. "I stopped because of you..."

"Me?" I whispered carefully.

"You," he said before he slowly leaned towards me. He captured my lips with his and kissed me once. He pulled back to look at me, wondered if it was okay that he kissed me.

My hand slid to the back of his neck and pulled him towards me. His lips immediately found mine. They were soft and gentle. The kiss was sweet, releasing all the butterflies in the pit of my stomach. The kiss slowly progressed into a heated and passionate kiss. Suddenly, I was laying on top of him, with my legs in between his. He had one arm around my waist and the other was in my hair.

I pulled away, gasping for air. Chris rolled us over and he was on top. Although he was well built, I didn't mind his weight on top of me. He pushed my hair back and cupped my face. His eyes roamed every inch of my face. "God, you're fucking beautiful."

My lips formed a small, genuine small as my finger tips brushed against this facial hair. My heart was thundering against my chest and my mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. I had no idea Chris felt the same way I felt about him. A small part of me wondered where we would be if we had admitted our feelings in the beginning. I guess timing is everything, because right now, in this moment, it felt right. And, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Chris' phone by his nightstand started going off, non-stop. We both turned to look at the glowing phone. It wasn't ringing, but we could see a bunch of notifications popping up on his screen as it continued to vibrate.

"Just ignore it," Chris said. We turned around to face each other, ignoring his phone. He leaned down to kiss me once more, before his phone started ringing. He groaned in frustration before burying his face in the crook of my neck.

I giggled and played with his hair. "Must be important. Pick it up. We'll finish what we started."

Chris got off me and sat on the edge of his bed. "It's my brother."

Suddenly, my heart dropped. Something terrible must have happened if his phone was blowing up and now Scott was calling him. I ignored Chris talking to Scott, respecting their conversation as I reached for my phone. I saw the "Breaking News" alert my screen:

'Black Panther' Actor Chadwick Boseman Passes Way From Colon Cancer at Age 43

I gasped, refusing to believe it's true. I turned around and saw Chris was already off the phone with his brother. His head hung low and I heard sniffles. I immediately crawled over to him and wrapped my arms around him. He clung on to me as his sniffles turned into sobs. I cried with him, for his loss and because it was heartbreaking to see Chris in this much pain.

I held on to him for as long as he needed me too. I rocked him back and forth, trying to soothe him as much as possible. Dodger rested his head on Chris' knee, trying to comfort him as well.

After a while, Chris sobs returned to sniffles again. He pulled back, his eyes were broken, puffy, and bloodshot. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't.

"Shhh, I know, baby, I know," I whispered as I cupped his cheeks and brushed away the fallen tears with the pad of my thumbs. "It's okay. It's okay to feel what you're feeling. It's okay to cry. It's okay to hurt. It's okay to grieve how ever you choose to."

Chris looked at me before he leaned in kissed me, hard yet so passionately. "Life is too damn short, Y/N."

"I know," I whispered against his lips.

"Dodger, go to the kennel." Dodger grabbed his lion stuffed animal and walked out of Chris' master bedroom like he was told.

Chris locked the door behind him. He grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled it off in one swift move. I stood up in front of his bed and disregarded my long sleeve. Chris walked towards me. When he reached me, he lifted me up. I immediately wrapped my legs around his hips and my arms around his neck. His hands rested firmly on my butt.

"Chris, are you sure you want to do this?" I asked carefully.

"Yes," he answered immediately without any hesitation. "Do you?"

I leaned down and kissed him. His hand moved up to the back of my bra strap and began unhooking it. I pulled back and lifted my arms, helping Chris disregard my bra. I wrapped my arms back around his neck, moaning at the sensation as my harden nipples pressed against his bare, hard chest. He leaned us both down back on his bed, our lips never once breaking the kiss.

People have their own way of grieving. There's no right way and there certainly isn't a wrong way either. We each grieve differently in our own way. This was Chris'. He wanted to love, he wanted to cherish what meant the most to him, and I wanted to do exactly the same thing to him, because I do love him and life is too damn short.

The Next Morning

We had been up for several minutes, but neither one of us bothered to move. Our arms were wrapped around each other and our legs were tangled underneath the bedsheets. Chris fingertips brushed along my bare back.

I looked up and immediately locked eyes with his. "What are you thinking about?"

"You marrying me." His answer was honest and he immediately said it without any hesitation.

I slightly pulled back from him. I tucked the bedsheets underneath my arms and covered my bare chest before sitting up. "What?"

"Marry me, Y/N."

"Chris, you can't be serious."

He finally sat up with me and held my left hand in his. "I've been in love with you since you moved in a couple of years ago. I'd like to think you have been too." I nodded. "And last night..." he trailed for a couple of seconds. "I have always known life is too damn short, but I never realized how short until I got the news last night. Chad lived his life to the fullest and although it was short, he didn't waste a second of it. I don't want to waste another second of my life. I don't want to let another second without you slip by. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

My eyes had welled up as he spoke. When he finished his proposal, the tears had fallen down my cheeks. I sniffled and cupped his cheek. His eyes began to water. I leaned in and kiss him. "I love you, Chris, and nothing would make me happier than spending the rest of our lives together."

[hateswifi]

Lips are Chapped and Faded

SOOOO I did it again, accidently deleted the text, WARNING FEELS AHEAD. Hope you enjoy this quick fic, can anyone name where the title came from?

The Master: Master List

----------------------------

When he first saw her again she looked broken, she was hunched I’ve the bar with a glass of bourbon, not her usual drink. “Angel?” She sat up straight and looked up at him, her eyes red and puffy from crying. 

“Oh hey Damian,” She greets, throwing back her drink before wiping her mouth and eyes, smudging her mascara. 

“What’s the matter? Why’ve you been crying?” He asks, taking the glass from her hand. She stands, wobbling a bit. 

“Oh nothing just drunk crying. Have you ever done that before? Nah! You wouldn’t do that,” Marinette says, falling forward having tripped on her heels, luckily, he caught her before she could hit the ground. “Oh wow! You’re sooo strong! Have you been working out! You must be. I’m tired.”

“Then let’s get you home,” Damian says, unphased by her drunken chatter. 

“I love you ya know? I shoulda asked you out when I got the chance,” Marinette giggles, putting her head on his shoulder. They walk, in Marinette’s case, stumbling, to Damian’s car. He opens the passenger door, wraps his coat around her shoulders, and buckles her seat belt. He sighs and drives her to his apartment. 

When they get into his apartment, with some difficulties, he gives some food and water. “Here, or you're going to regret it in the morning.”

“Thankssss Birdie,” Marinette says, taking the cup. 

“Come on, I’ll help you get situated,” he says, helping her stumble down the hall. He sits her on his bed and takes off her heels before grabbing a shirt from his draw. “If you want to get changed here’s a shirt, and a pair of shorts that one of my sisters left over here sometime.” He hands them to her and she starts to lift the hem of her dress. He quickly turns around, giving her privacy and hiding his blush. 

“Damiii I’m all done, your turn!” Marinette says in a sing-song voice. 

“Angel, just lay down,” Damian sighs. 

“Why! I’m not tired!” Marinette says, crossing her arms. 

“You are and you’ll fall asleep when you lay down.”

“Will you lay with me?”

“Marinette, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“Pleaaaase Birdie only until I fall asleep,” Marinette pleads. 

“Fine,” Damian huffs, laying down. She follows, slipping under the sheets beside him. Not too long after, she falls asleep. He gets up to get changed. He pulls on clean sweatpants and pulled off his shirt and was going to put on a different one, when small arms wrap around his chest. Feather light kisses dance across his back. 

“Dami you left me,” Marinette whispers, her breath making the butterflies flutter in his stomach. 

“I’m just changing, lay down, I'll be back in a second,” Damian said, his breathing a bit uneven. She let go of him and padded back to the bed as he finished pulling on his shirt. He evened out his breath before climbing back in bed he laid on his side, facing away from Marinette. They fell into a comfortable sleep. 

He woke up the sheets being thrown on him, followed by footsteps running down the hall. His bathroom door crashed open and puking followed. He got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. He held back her hair and rubbed small circles in her back as Marinette threw up everything. 

After she finished she leaned up against his tub and looked up at him. “Ibuprofen,” she panted. “Please.”

He nodded before rushing to the kitchen. He filled up a glass of water and grabbed her two tablets, before heading back to the bathroom. “Here ya go, feel any better?”

She took the pill and gulped down water. When she finished she said, “much.”

“You want breakfast?”

“Sure, pancakes?”

“I could manage, but after your done eating we have to talk about the message you sent me yesterday, you know considering I haven’t seen you in months,” Damian said, holding out a hand, she took it and he helped her stand up. They walk to the kitchen and Damian grabs out the ingredients as she sips more water from her spot at the island. 

“Could you remind me what the message said?” Marinette asked, putting her head on the cool countertop.

“I’ll play it,” Damian says, pulling out his phone. ‘Hiiiii Dami! I’m in Gotham for a month or so and I would love to spend it with you hanging out and doing stuff ya know?’ Her voice filled the apartment. 

“God, what the heck is the matter with me?” Marinette said, rubbing her face. 

“So it’s not true,” Damian asks, flipping a pancake, his disappointment hidden because his back was turned. 

“No! No I do, I just didn’t want to ask drunk, ya know?” Marinette said quickly. 

“Uhhh… yeah, here’s the first one,” Damian says, plopping a pancake on her plate. “Sure It’d be fun to hand out with you, just let me know what you wanna do ok?”

“Cool, this is a really good pancake, can I have another one?”

“Sure.”

A week later is when she called him. “Hey Damian, wanna meet up at out cafe for lunch?”

“That would be fine,” Damian answered, looking over some papers before checking the time, ten thirty. “Eleven-thirty?”

“Yep! I’ll meet you then,” Marinette responds cheerfully before hanging up. He sighs, running a hand through his previously styled hair. 

He decided he wasn’t going to get anymore work done before leaving so he just left early. Their cafe doubled as a boon store so he looked around a bit till he saw Marinette. She wasn’t looking good, her hair didn’t look as full and she looked pale. 

“Hey Angel, are you feeling alright?” Damian asks, pulling out the seat across from her. 

“Oh umm I’m fine I just don’t get a lot of sleep and I forgot to put in makeup,” Marinette quickly explained. Not wanting to upset her, he didn’t touch the excuse. 

Their lunch was lovely, they talked about what they would do the incoming week. Half way through they were interrupted by a call. 

“Sorry, this is really important I have to take it,” Marinette said, standing up quickly. Not too long after she rejoined Damian. “I’m sorry that was a client, they had to reschedule a meeting so I’m going to meet them. See you later!”

“Bye Angel,” Damian says, hugging her before she rushed off. As soon as she was out of sight he plopped in his chair and ran a hand through his hair. 

Over the next two weeks, they did a bunch of activities such as going to the arcade, walking in the park, Six Flags, dancing under the stars, and dinner among other things. The day before she was supposed to leave it was almost midnight when he got a call. 

“Hey Damian, I hope I didn’t wake you,” Marinette’s voice, which has progressively gotten worse, came through the phone. 

“No I was finishing up some things for a meeting next week,” Damian said. 

“Can we meet up for a star gaze?”

“Uhh sure I’ll pick you up?” He said, throwing on a sweatshirt. “I’ll see you in a bit, bye.” When he pulls up to her hotel, she gets in the car silently. She was wearing a sweatshirt as well and she looked awful. They get to the park and he lays out the blanket he pulled out of the trunk. 

“It’s hard to see them, but I like laying with you,” Marinette said, her head on his shoulder. “I should’ve dated you when I had the chance.” He sat ip and looked at her. 

“Marinette whatever it is, whatever it was we can work through it,” Damian says, looking down at the girl who’s a shell of who she used to be. “Why didn’t you before?”

“When you asked me I was heading back and you were ready to come with me. But I couldn’t do that to you, you love being Robin,” Marinette said, placing a hand on his cheek. 

“But I loved— love I don’t know you more,” Damian states. 

“Damian, you wouldn’t have been happy,” Marinette says, letting her hand fall to rest beside her. 

“What about now? I know you're not well but let me help you,” Damian says, pulling her up into a hug. 

“I love you Damian Wayne, but I can’t be with you,” Marinette cried into his shoulder. 

“Please let me help you, we can solve this together,” Damian says, rubbing her back. 

“We can’t solve this, no one can, but you made these last weeks amazing,” Marinette said. “Can I kiss you?” He didn’t respond, just leaned forward, it was a short kiss, but that spark everyone talks about, it was there and now it is too late. “Can you take me back to my hotel?”

“Of course,” Damian says, standing before helping her up. He picks up the blanket and they walk to the car together. The drive back was silent and when she got out she left an envelope that had his name on it. It also had instructions to not open it until tomorrow. He wanted to open it and disregard what it said but he couldn’t, it was what she wanted. He sighed put his head on the steering wheel for a couple of minutes to collect his thoughts and feelings before driving back to his apartment. 

It was midday when he got a call half expecting it to be Marinette he picked it up. “Hello this Gotham Hospital, is this Damian Wayne?” an unfamiliar voice came. 

“Hello, yes this is he, what’s the matter?” He responds, leaning back in his chair. 

“We have you as an emergency contact for Miss Dupain-Cheng,” he continued. 

Damian sat up quickly.  “What happened?” He asked, standing up and grabbing his coat. 

“She was brought in after collapsing, she’s on life supports and there’s enough time to come say goodbye,” the doctor says, as Damian is running down the hall before clicking the elevator button multiple times. 

“I’m in my way,” he says, curtly as the elevator descends. He runs his hand through his hair as he sticks a hand in his pocket, he feels a paper. He pulls it out and his breathing hitches, her letter. He tears it open. 

‘Hey Birdie,

I’m sorry that you had to find out this way, but I’m dying of cancer. I found out a couple of weeks ago and by the time the doctors found it, it was too far along to do anything but make my last weeks of living less painful. I decided to fly to Gotham to spend them with you, because even though I rejected you, I loved you more than I could ever express. Thank you for the lovely weeks. I really hope I got to tell you this in words but I love you and I would have loved to have a relationship with you. 

You deserve everything I can’t give you, love,

Marinette.’

The elevator opens on the first floor and there are tears rolling down his face. He gets odd looks but he doesn’t care. He needs to see his Angel. 

He rushes to the hospital, it’s a miracle he didn’t get pulled over for speeding. He ran to the entryway, giving his keys to the valet. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng please” Damian’s breathe out. 

“Down the hall on the right fourth door down,” she says nonchalantly. 

He rushes into the room and sees her there, truly a shell of who she used to be. IVs attached to her arms and breathing on a ventilator. 

He walks to the foot of her bed and falls to his knees. “Angel, why didn’t you tell me? I love you please stay, I can’t live you again.” He whispers pleas and promises of love to her, he hopes she can hear him. Not to long after he got there and started pleading with her to stay the deafening flat line rung throughout the room, leaving a now free Angel and a broken-hearted boy to pick up the pieces she left him with. 

----------------------------

Hope you enjoyed!!

Permanent Tag:

@ash-amg @bee-wrecker @damianette-is-life @mjisntme @i-will-be-your-ace

[silveanna]

Make a wish

Non-idol!chenle x fem!reader

Genre: fluff

Summary: when chenle was 12 he met a girl at the hospital his father owns, she has a disorder where she gets to sleep for weeks,months or years. After a few years they met each other again, but is she still the same as before?

Note: this story is inspired by “Stay Awake Agatha”

“I’m just gonna go buy some food outside alright? Stay here” your mom commanded, she grabs her coat and heads out your ward.

You got up from your bed and looked outside the window, there were a bunch of cars and people outside, lots of high storey buildings.

Since I’m sick, I haven’t been outside... what does it feels like to be outside? hang around with people?

an idea pops to your head, you drag your dextrose stand with you and peeked outside your ward, there’s no one around the hallway so you took the chance to sneak out.

You don’t know where you’re going though, you’re just depending on where your feet takes you to.

You tag along with someone that doesn’t seem to be a nurse or a doctor, you joined them in the elevator. They pushed little buttons that’s attached on the wall, you have no clue what it does making you press one of it “hey kid what are you doing?”

“Huh?”

They just shook their head, a loud ding can be heard inside and the elevator opens up again. They got out leaving you all alone again, you drag your dextrose stand along with you as you walked thru another hallway again.

It’s so cold here and where’s everyone?

You wandered around until you’ve come to a wishing fountain. Again, there’s still no one nearby so you just stayed there.

“Did you make a wish?”

“What?” You turned around and saw a little boy, he doesn’t seem to be lost or alone.

“I-i don’t have coins”

“Here” the boy handed a you coin. You smiled at him and closed your eyes I wish to healed. After that you throw the coin to the fountain.

“Nice, what did you wish for?”he ask.

“I wish to be healed”

“What do you mean? do you have cancer or something?”

“Nope, I have this kind of illness where I get to sleep for weeks sometimes months.. or years” you explained.

“Cool, so you’re like sleeping beauty then?”

“Yep”

“What’s your name? I’m chenle” he introduced.

You looked at him, hesitating “do I have too? I mean it’s not like we’re gonna meet each other again in the future”

“Atleast we’ve known each other”

“Ok then I’m Y/N” you and chenle talked for a few minutes until your mother comes marching towards you, “Goodness Y/N! I’ve been looking for you everywhere! I’m so worried!”

“I’m fine mom”

“this is not the right time to wander around, you need to stay in your ward until you’re fully healed”

“But—“

“No buts! come on lets go back to your room” your mom pulled you along with her, you look back at chenle and waved.

“Bye..”

7 years later

“I’m going to meet your dad at his office then after that we’re gonna have dinner outside hmm?” Chenle’s mom said, he nodded “Yea sounds good”

“By the way.. can I go to the fountain?” Chenle ask.

“Again? Alright then we’ll meet you there” he nodded and parted ways with his mom, he immediately headed to the fountain hoping some girl would be there. You.

After your first encounter, chenle never met you again but he often visits the hospital and wander around hoping to bump to you.

He also asked for your room, but the nurses couldn’t find anything. Turns out you gave Chenle your nickname not your real name.

What if she didn’t woke up after that?

He shook his head trying to be positive and praying that you’re still alive and healthy,just sleeping.

As always, no ones at the fountain. Chenle sighed and sits on the nearby benched, he was too busy looking down and thinking. That he didn’t noticed someone sat beside him.

“Why so sad?” They ask.

“Well... I think the girl that I met year’s ago is dead”

“If she really did, make a wish she would get resurrect then”they flipped a coin and tossed it to Chenle gently.

Still not aware of the person he’s with, Chenle throws the coin to the fountain and goes back to the bench without looking at the person. “What about you? Do you have anything to wish for?” He ask.

“Nope, my wish is already granted”

“What is it?”

“To be healed” the line seems way to familiar making chenle raise his head and look at the person beside him. It was a girl, they had this smirk while looking at him.

“Long time no see,chenle”

Apparently, there’s no cure for your illness but miracles happen.

Make a wish alternate ending⬅️

[circe-poetica]

Rethinking Venus/Saturn in Synastry

This blog post is republished by permission of the author and originally appeared at The Inner Wheel. August 17, 2010 by Dawn Bodrogi 

Most people approach Saturn in synastry as a necessary but bitter pill that must be swallowed in order for there to be some kind of longevity in the relationship. Even if we don’t look at him with dread, we furrow our brows when we notice where he falls. Saturn in synastry gets blamed for all kinds of things – shattered illusions, betrayals, power struggles, abandonment – that don’t belong on his square shoulders at all. His glamorous outer planet brothers seem to get away with murder, and never take on that kind of flak. It always amazes me how often students dump on Saturn placements, when most often it’s Uranus, Neptune or Pluto who deserve the blame. But honestly, given the choice of an aspect between charts, I’d take, say, Moon opposite Saturn way before I’d take Uranus, Neptune or Pluto there. Saturn can be reasoned with. Not like the killer trio. Saturn needs some new PR.

One of the reasons we abhor Saturn is that he doesn’t let us get away with anything. In this, he is definitely the strict parent who knows us inside and out, especially when we tell him we’re going to the library when we really have plans to stay out way past our bed time. Saturn is the one who pushes us to work harder when we feel like being lazy. Saturn is the one who nags us about the right things at the right times. Saturn can behave this way in relationships, too, and it takes a very mature individual to appreciate it, especially if Saturn is acting out of genuine regard and not just projecting his own issues onto us.

Saturn is diligent. If we ignore what he tells us and what he expects of us, he will wait and bring us the same lessons later, only this time it will be harder, because our behaviour has become more entrenched with time. Time. Now there is a good Saturn word. Saturn knows that we only have this one life (as far as we know for sure) and the clock is ticking. There are things we need to accomplish, things we need to learn. Tick tock. Tick tock.

When Saturn is working well, he works hand in hand with the Moon. This is the natural cardinal pairing of Cancer/Capricorn, which is as natural a partnership as Aries/Libra. Cardinal signs initiate, and one of the things they initiate is partnership. Moon/Saturn also represents the ‘other’ angle, the MC/IC, which is the spine of the chart and crucial in partnership. (See my series on the MC/IC, and Beyond Mom and Dad, Saturn as a Relationship Planet.) Moon/Saturn is how we fashion our consciousness, our raw psychic material, into concrete accomplishment. Moon/Saturn hard contacts within a natal chart are so painful because we sense that what we have, what we were born with, is not adequate enough for us to create what we want. We feel we are hobbled before we begin the race. It takes a lot of inner work, and a lot of interaction with the outside world, before the two can work together.

I consider all of the rulers of the cardinal signs relationship planets. Not that the other planets don’t affect partnerships – they do, intensely. But the ‘prime movers’ of relationship are Venus, Mars, Moon, and Saturn. (This is very clearly seen via progression.) The Sun is a relationship planet as well, particularly paired with the Moon, but the Sun operates in a dimension beyond day to day reality, and is, quite frankly, hard for us to get hold of. We feel it (if we’re lucky), we identify with it, but we can’t really manipulate its energy or work with it the way we can with the inner planets. (For more on the Sun, see my five part series, “The Mystery of Solar Fire.”) We’re infused with the Sun, but we have no power over it. It has plans for us we’re not allowed to discover until the time is right. There’s that word again. Time. That’s Saturn’s realm.

We all identify with each one of these planets, but they will also play a role in giving us an idea of the opposite sex. If we toss them around, and pair a masculine planet with a feminine one, we get some very interesting combinations. Two of the most intense are two that are rarely discussed. One is Moon/Mars, which I’ve talked about before, both on my blog and in a two part article for Sasstrology.com – steamier, more intense, more intimate and yes, a little scarier, than Venus/Mars. But the real black sheep of the bunch is Venus/Saturn. If you’re not aware of Venus/Saturn as a relationship magnet, it can hit you blindside.

In the words of Liz Greene, from her book Saturn, A New Look at an Old Devil – one of the greatest books on Saturn – when Saturn sees something it wants, it can act like “the most inflamed Mars.” No one thinks of Saturn that way. And yet, in practice, over the years, I’ve seen him do just that, over and over and over again. Why? The secret of Saturn, and the Saturn/Moon combination, is that Saturn needs. He knows what he has to do, and the clock is ticking. If you have what he needs, he will court you like a lovesick swain. His love is genuine, desperate. Tick tock.

What Saturn wants is Venus. All that grace, all that gentility, all that beauty, is a balm to his harsh existence. When Venus touches Saturn, he is no longer the builder, the taskmaster, the responsible one. In Venus’s presence he can become the master craftsman, the artist. His work has a purpose beyond the mundane. He can take the raw materials of Venus, her beauty, her desire, and use them to achieve his purpose in an elevated and more gentle manner. Venus encourages him to share his skills and experience. Venus wants to be desired, and she senses his need. Remember that Saturn is exalted in Libra.

But Saturn/Venus doesn’t pounce, as Mars/Venus might and Mars/Moon often does. (Mars/Moon is a contact between two primal forces, where Saturn/Venus is much more sophisticated.) Saturn will court. Saturn will spend time. Saturn will feed your cat when you’re away and mend your loose wiring and fill your refrigerator on top of it. When you return, Saturn will hold your hand and talk to you through the night and stoically suppress sighs of longing – until one day when you trust him utterly and he’s certain he won’t be rejected, he will pounce. Saturn can wait forever where Venus is concerned. Saturn is desperate for appreciation, and appreciation is what Venus does best. This is always a very sensual tie, no matter what sign it falls in. The earthy, Taurean side of Venus is a natural match for the equally earthy Saturn. And they will want the best of everything for and from one another, and they are both very security-minded planets. With the hard aspects there will be more striving, and more tussling for rewards (internal and external), but the same underlying desire will be there.

As with all aspects, nothing can be taken out of context. Problems come when either of the planets is debilitated in the natal chart. If the person with the Saturn has a Saturn placement that causes it to be full of fear and defensiveness, if it constantly feels inadequate and suppressed, it will take it out on Venus, who will feel hurt and betrayed, and surmise that Saturn’s desire was a lie. If the Venus person’s self-confidence is on the brink, or if the person’s Venus is dominated by Uranus, Neptune or Pluto, Saturn may never obtain the security it desires, and may be shocked when the outer planet steamroller rides into town and his once accommodating partner shows herself to be elusive or manipulative. Sometimes, though rarely, the planets only want a specific thing from one another, to learn a specific lesson, and once that lesson is learned, the attraction cools. That can happen with any planetary inter-aspect, but the fallout here can be devastating, because of the trust involved, and the whispered promises of forever, which can be very loud when these two connect.

The most common thing I hear when I see a Venus/Saturn inter-aspect is, “We didn’t do anything the first night we spent together. We just held one another.” That’s what Venus/Saturn is doing. Holding on in the dark of the night, remaining in the here and now, taking joy from the warmth and the comfort.

[velociraptors-dont-lie]

My way

Pairing : Din Djarin x OC

Blurb: When something bad happens it’s unsure what one will do in the face of something new and scary. For one such as her, the role seems small, unimportant and yet she’ll do it all her way for the child in her care.

A/N : I wasn’t gonna post this because it seems a bit too ...meh. i dont even have a proper vision for this yet but...im sure it’ll come to me. i got into the star wars universe recently so im a bit uneducated which...kinda works for this story actually. Lemme know any thoughts though. 

Warnings: None? i don’t think in this chapter

Part Two

Chapter One: Arrival

There's a Galaxy not too far away.

It's beautiful. It's everything she could have possibly asked for and it's right there in her sights. It feels almost as if she could reach out and touch it, so close and yet so far away. So many things it could have been, yet it was a simple yet complex Galaxy that caught her eye in the dark space around her.  

Sighing, she looks away from the hunger-inducing chocolate bar and continues to work with her higher-paid...male coworkers.  

They bustled and ranted from all around her, flanked from all sides as she tried to figure just why they didn't treat her with the same respect other females in the workplace got.

Perhaps it was her clothes, her blue hair? her choice in jewelry perhaps? Everything about her seemed perfectly normal, she was fairly normal, kind, and helpful...so why did they seem to hate her so much?

Maybe it wasn't hate so much as indifference. They did thank her when she brought their coffee or tea and they did say please when they asked her for stuff. She smoothed down the black pencil skirt as she looked upon the notes and files on her desk.

The place of her work wasn't entirely for the simple. Sure there was the usual lab work, science work involving different studies, the particular area in which she was interning for, was Space.

Time and space.

The small team of scientists were working on several theories and tests all at the same time. Files from new technology to new ways to travel in space came through her desk each day.

Never had she thought something quite like this would be obtainable.

Pens, rocks, different fabrics, all of which had gone through the test of teleportation into space. The landings were screwy, some rocks landed in the dead nonexistent atmosphere, forever suspended.

Others had landed on different planets. Only discernible if the tracker still worked.

Three hamsters had died in transportation, more had suffocated in space...she knew which idiot had forgotten to put them in a sealed oxygenated box.

There were more failures than successes and they were no closer to their goal of finding out what lay on the other side of a Galaxy.

The day had started off like any other. She pined for her chocolate, pined for her soft fuzzy socks and warmth of her bed. As much as she loved that she had gotten into one of the most wanted lab spots as an intern.

She wished she was more than just an intern.

The light pink shirt she wore blended nicely between her blue hair and black pencil skirt; black heeled shoes completing the air of sophistication.  Everything seemed fairly normal except for the people.

They'd never been like this. The workplace always used to be kind and safe, now she just felt odd and scared. It was silent and they all looked at her with passing glances, hoping she wasn't realizing that they were staring sometimes.

It was awfully suspicious. All-day they'd be secretive, more so than usual and it was really starting to creep her out. So she reached down and picked up her bag from the floor, heading for the first reception out of the building.

''I'm heading home for the day, I don't feel too good.''

''Of course, Nora. I hope you feel better. Oh! quickly before you go-'' Nora rejected the urge to roll her eyes. Anticipating the gold medal run for Talking in the Olympics for England, Nora was ready for her feet to be aching, instead what she felt was entirely different.

The woman was still talking as the pinch in her neck subsided, Nora's eyes falling shut immediately, the world going blank as she fell back into the waiting arms of a coworker.

Well, Ex-coworker.

Waking up was a feat in itself. She felt hot, courtesy of the fact that they had stuffed her into a spacesuit, where they had acquired the thing or where they had put her favourite pair of shoes were the questions on her mind.

Aside from the obvious 'what the fuck are they doing to me' question in big bold letters, screaming itself in her head. At least it was before the realization set in.

They'd thrown her into a spacesuit without taking off her underclothes, her skirt bunched uncomfortably under it, she had no socks on in the giant boots. The vacuum-sealed room had only one exit and it was locked tight.

Though it wasn't entirely empty. She was there yes, but so were her shoes and her bag. ''THose are for you to keep in event you end up somewhere...alive.''

The head of their little team spoke on the other side of the glass. He used to be kind, he used to smile all the time and now he just looked evil, devoid of any emotion.  

''Please don't do this!'' It wasn't hard for them to hear her, the helmet's comm was connected to the entire room and she could hear her echo. ''I'll die!''

''Nonsense. You're the best human candidate we have for this test.''

''I never fucking volunteered! Asshole!'' She pounded her fist against the window, the fight in her was dead but she was going to act as if she had any chance of getting out of that room. ''People will look for me. They will miss me!''

''There's nothing to look for here. You left early after suddenly coming down with an illness.''  Anita's face fell, her own excuse being used against her so all her friends would think she was just another missing person.

''Fire it up.''

She could feel the rumble beneath her feet, the telltale startup of the machine. They actually going to do this. ''No! This is inhuman! Monstrous! Please don't!''

Ignored, the head starting barking more orders, muffled and incoherent as he turned off the comm connection. The lights in the room flickered, computer screens and phone screens, electricity could all but be seen in the air.

This was new. Something they seemed to have done behind her back. The normal machine never took so much power to be used, and she wondered just what needed so much power.

The answer came in the form of a strong wind. A pull from behind her and she could see that her bag was moving towards it.  

Space. In the palm of their hand, contained in this tiny room. They had opened a portal nearby to the andromeda galaxy, or it so seemed like they had done it. Anita couldn't actually see the galaxy, nor any galaxy or star, just the vast darkness of space.

Anita gathered her grey bag, shoving her shoes into it as she turned back to the window, banging on it in fear as she pleaded with them to stop this. Pleaded with their humanity that she would stay silent about this if they just let her out.

All her coworkers stayed still, neither moving nor blinking at the show of science in front of them. Whatever force of gravity was pulling her away was getting stronger, her instant hold on anything was pure instinct.

Though it was not strong enough. The gloves didn't allow for the same grip she would have had without them on.  She felt her hands slipping and when she eventually had been pulled from the bar.

The loss of gravity felt strange, as though she were in an elevator, her entire being felt weightless but it still terrified her to no end. On the edge of hyperventilating, she suddenly felt the sucking vacuum once again before Gravity dropped her to the ground.

Anita felt relief, eyes closed she thought perhaps the machine hadn't worked, that it had turned off and failed. On the contrary, The machine had worked too well.

The room she was in was empty. The scientists were baffled and the entire building was dark, everything within a five-mile radius was dark as the power had been used for the machine. The only thing that told the scientists that it had worked, was the lights they checked when they managed to get everything back on.

When Anita opened her eyes, the relief vanished and fear had returned. The ground underneath her was not white and tiled, it was brown and...sand, her helmet had cracked and she hear the air whistling through the tight gap as the wind blew.

She'd had been dead if she couldn't breathe the atmosphere so it had to be at least similar to Earths atmosphere. She was warm, too warm and she didn't know if it was because her heart was pounding or because of the sun looming overhead.

Wrenching off the bulky helmet, Anita worked on stripping the heavy and hot suit from her body which left her in just her smart work clothes and a labcoat. Anita's cries were loud, no one was around to hear them and she had to let out some of the emotions she was feeling.

She couldn't believe they had done that to her. She had worked with them for months and thought she was their friend. To be thrown away so easily wasn't something Anita was used to and crying in the middle of a desert, barefoot and at risk of cancer was something she never expected to be doing.

She picked up her bag, heels poking out the edge, and hugged to her chest. the only familiar thing around her wasn't going to leave her sight.  The sand was hot on her toes, tears still falling as she stood to her feet and wondered which direction to walk in to find any sort of civilization or place to set a base up.

She hadn't known how long she had been walking, sand was stuck to her feet as sweat dripped down her legs. Flyaway blue hairs stuck to her head and she wished she had more than the tiny bottle of water she bought on the way to work.

She was scared, alone, and had no way of knowing where she was. She hadn't seen anything more than a random frog-like thing hopping around. The racing heart and mind were only just starting to calm down when she heard shouting in a foreign language.

Something shot at her, just barely missing her toes in the sand and Anita screamed. Falling to her knees and throwing her hands in the air as non-threateningly as she could possibly get.  Hands roughly grabbed and shoved down behind her back, forced back to her feet and to walk in a direction different to the one she was going in.

''Please, I don't understand!!''

The strange beings that had seemed to take her prisoner continued to force her forward. Only 4 of them but the glimpse of red and green skin was enough to make her realize she didn't want to see them.

''Quiet!''

Something in her dropped with relief that they seemed to know even a little bit of English. She half thought she could perhaps reason with them, try to get them to let her go in any direction they were not in.

The feel of a gun barrel told her not to speak again though. Anita regretted not doing so as they walked over a large dune, an encampment sitting there looking all...suspicious to her.  More of the people who had captured her were walking around it, seemingly keeping guard of the place which only further cemented the fact that these were not good people...things.

They took her in and snatched her bag from her, one looked through it while the other pushed what looked like a metal egg towards her.

''Hey! B-be careful with those!'' Though scared, her phone was terribly expensive and she still wanted to keep all her familiar items from home even if some of them wouldn't work here.

The one with the gun like weapon jabbed her with the barrel and made a sound that told her to be quiet. pushing the metal egg into her thighs with more force. ''You care for it.''

''Care for what!? Is this thing alive!? It's an egg! Hey, now that is super duper expensive!'' Overwhelmed and jabbed once again with the gun barrel, Anita watched helplessly as the one with her bag dropped her perfume back in it without a care. She hoped it hadn't broken.

''Care for it!'' Hardly any other option at the end of a weapon, Anita wrapped her arms around the egg and held it close to her hoping to appease the thing talking in broken English. The other one threw her bag back down to the floor and they both left together, the large metal door shutting behind them heavily.

Evidently her only way out of the room, Anita had little choice but to sit on the floor and observe the metal egg she was given. It was white, but very clearly bashed up with a slit down the middle of the top end.

Anita squinted at what looked like buttons on the front of it. Gently tapping her painted fingernails on the metal, jumping when she heard a cooing sound muffled from within; her mouth made an 'o' shape at the realization that the egg itself wasn't alive, but there was instead something alive inside it.

She didn't want to open it. What if it was like those other things. What if it was scaly or had horns and sharp, what if it bit her entire hand off and she needed a metal hook to replace it!? Laughing at herself, Anita hovered her finger over the button counting to three before pressing it quickly and shuffling away on the off chance it would bite her.

The cooing sounded again, louder now it wasn't covered by the metal. Anita opened her eyes and glanced at it, thoroughly surprised by what she saw, for one, it was green...

And utterly adorable.

''Oh hiiii.'' Whatever it was cooed again at her tone and Anita held her breath, heart pounding for a completely different reason now. ''You've been kept in this pod thing like this the whole time?''

She questioned mostly to herself, as it seemed not to be able to speak actual words. It tilted its head, large green ears the size of her hands flopping a little at the tips and it made another sound as it reached its hands out to her.

Anita could almost burst out into tears, it wanted to be held and it looked so heartbrokenly neglected. She immediately swooped it from the weird metal bassinet thing and cradled it to her chest, wondering if her heart could break anymore when it closed its eyes and tapped its small green finger to the sound of her heartbeat.

''Oh honey, they've been treating you horridly haven't they?'' at this, it's hands bunched in her lab coat. The creature was obviously quite frightened, confused as to why it was so important to the other things and Anita had chosen her path in this new galaxy, right by this child's side for as long as it needed her.

''There's no need to be afraid anymore. I am your mother now and I will protect you.''

[ofcloudsandstars]

Hey, dear! I've missed seeing you on my dash, how are you doing? What would you say your summer has been like? Sending lots of love and good vibes!

Ahhh this is so kind! I hope you have been well too. I am working on September’s forecast but I have been a bit slow since I am tired with some stuff going on. I am working on a sacred geometry virtual gallery for the plant alchemist mentor so I have been dizzy with motion sickness throwing this gallery together before the full moon haha. 

Last week I just got back from the most insane adventure that I may probably get around to writing another endlessly long post about haha. (editing this post, it turns out that THIS has become the endlessly long post about it haha so I am having a read more added). CW: sex details. It may be TMI but I added a warning before lol 

  Anyway I was having this mutual attraction with this italian guy I met through work who ALSO has a venus in Scorpio like me. We were going to go on a date but the world succumbed to The Plague. He returned to Puglia to be with his family as he quit the company and his apartment so he can just chill and live for free while he figures stuff out, but he was flirting with me through text all throughout lockdown and begging me to visit him when it was safer to travel so I was like: Oh yeah?!?!?! And I booked a 5 day long first date/vacation to Puglia to be with him lmaoo. Venus in Scorpio is intense as hell but we just be like that. My close aries witch friend moved to Southern Italy with her BF too for the time being so I was like ok if stuff goes south she can come save me but this guy like took me FARRR AWAY on the southern coast like 3 hours from her omg. He booked beautiful places like old medieval stone villas (omg one place had a wooden four poster bed, a stone fireplace with a cauldron and a huge color-changing hot tub jacuzzi next to the bed lmaoooo) and we ate endless seafood and went to the beach everyday. Only set back is we were NOT SEXUALLY COMPATIBLE at ALL and it’s really sad cause yeah I got his star chart and over analyzed it before going over there but sometimes I doubt myself like ohh not everyone is their starchart to a T, like you should give people a chance. But he was  e x a c t l y  like his star chart.

First he has A LOT of trines like a lot of fire energy which is great. He’s super passionate, but the trines means he is too chill and positive which is nice but it means he has little motivation to do anything. (Think when there are great trine transits happening, it’s FANTASTIC for doing magic and manifesting things but those days the energy is so chill and harmonious you don’t even want to do anything and they can easily pass you by.) Meanwhile my chart?? It’s fucking SQUARES ALL DAY BABEY like Squares, Oppositions and more Squares. I have something called the grand cross on my fucking chart lmao. So that means I overthink, I can get stressed easily, my life soundtrack is just this long anxiety ridden drum and base background music as I fucking parkour through endless obstacles of racism, sexism, gender identity, fleeing the states cause it’s becoming a totalitarian government, learning a bunch of european languages and skills in case I gotta flee england next, thinking about the future, thinking about my actions in the present, thinking about how I can learn from the wounds of my past, lmao everything is thought about at least 1000 times. I also have a lot of Saturn energy my chart is Saturn dominant so there is a lot of planning, structure and organizing to me. Meanwhile since he is hosting he never has a plan and is always ‘go with the flow’ so sometimes it makes me nervous cause the first place he booked was some GHETTO sex motel that looked like sex traffic was happening in there and I was in the middle of no where with him and I was nervous like praying to the Spirits of Nature and Venus to help me work this out haha. But it was ok. 

His life is so easy cause he’s like a handsome italian man with a mom that wants him to live at home with her until he finds a wife to mommy him. He never has to do any house work or really any work at all cause his parents will support him cause that’s normal in Italy. Honestly if I got with him I would never get that same treatment I would also be hauling ass in the background to cater to him and our kids until the day I die. He also doesn’t really understand what it’s like to be of a group of people ostracized by society. He is a hot cishet white man and has a whole community of good friends and a mom to support him with whatever he does.

He’s also like really traditional and was raised Christian. I told him I was a witch and he was like ohhhhhhhmyGOddddddd and thought it was fucking weird haha and I was like: YOU NEVER NOTICED ME AND ROXANNE (my aries witch friend who moved to Italy who literally wears massive metal pentagrams everyday) ARE WITCHES?! And he was like: I do not know about this haha. 

Lastly about his starchart which worried me when I first reviewed it is that our natal mars are at a square. I mean I have had sex with someone’s Mars in Aries before and it was great but his sex?? Was TERRIBLEEEE!!!!!!!!! TERRIBLEEEEEEEE OHHHH MY GOD. I am going to add a CW for some sex details in case you want to scroll but like: 

--

My Mars is in Cancer so I do like it to be sensual and cuddly with some oral action but he was like so terrible and disgusting and I feel like he probably only slept with girls in his country who may have been traditional like him and never said anything to him cause I am like I dunno how you got away with this for so long having terrible sex like this. Like so grabby and aggressive it fucking hurts like he would have left bruises and I hate that shit like sex is supposed to feel good!! I don’t mind if you grab my ass cause it’s just sacks of fat lol but my boobs have shit in them like glands you can’t be grabbing that!! And sorry this may be TMI but like I’d communicate with him all the spots I’d like him to go to cause they are the most sensitive ones and he’d just ATTACK THEM like some type of police dog sniffing hidden cocaine I am like BITCH CALM DOWN I literally would have to stop him so many times so he wouldn’t hurt me. And he once said: Oh but I like that (being aggressive in bed) and that annoyed me so much I was like: Oh so if you like aggression do you want me to grab and twist your balls in the same way? And he was like: no. lol 

And then his kissing was tErrible. He wouldn’t even start out sensual he would literally just shove his whole tongue in my mouth and it’d be slimy and terrible and tastes like the ash from the weed he’s always smoking and once during sex I bent down to make out with him and he literally just stuck his tongue out in preparation I paused like: NO!!! Like omg he got me so heated I am so heated just typing this lmao. I am also really sensitive with like sensory things and have misophonia so sometimes if certain stimulations are stimulating me the wrong way I get more put off than the usual person and sex is so intimate like every time he grabbed a sensitive part of me I wanted to slap him the fuck back haha. The funniest part though is when I’d give up on him trying to pleasure me (everything was terrible, the fingering was like someone who is in a rush to get the elevator and is jamming the button impatiently; the actual fucking was like.. off beat?? And he could NEVER LAST; he gave me head once but that was interesting I felt like he was trying to karate chop my clit with his tongue lmao I was like please stop omg) I was like fine ok just lie down and I will give you head and we can get this over with.. And when I gave him head for the first time he did not moan or anything he would just say: Mamma Mia!!; and FUCKING HELL it would kill the mood but also I couldn’t concentrate cause I’d be fucking laughing just choking on him laughing like I could NOT. 

-- End sex detail mention lol 

Anyway I am always wary of sex with Mars in Aries people but this experience is going to make me avoid them and have trust issues haha. Anyway I got a lovely free vacation in a beautiful region with incredible food. His friends were nice though my Italian is really terrible and nonexistent (omg also speaking about communication, he forgot most of his english so it was a challenge speaking to him haha). We were both wild as hell to do this even though we didn’t really know each other but whatever that’s the Scorpio in Venus. And in a perfect Scorpio fashion we may never see each other ever again because he may not return to London, I mean we pretty much fell out of infatuation with each other cause of the terrible sex chemistry and the only reason I have to return to that region of Italy is to see my witch friend there but there is a chance she is going to move to London again and she lives in a different city from him lol. 

So yeah I have been quiet over here but this is my current life. If you want to look at the gallery I am working on it’s in it’s rough draft form but you can find it here! 

https://www.artsteps.com/view/5f4946b290389d2f7d705e86

[harrystyleswatermelon-sugar]

Gas station encounter Part V

Part IV

A few hours later I await him in front of my door and as he pulls up and gets out I can see the frown on his face.

“Hey, this is a relaxing weekend, you shouldn’t have carried your bag down here!” he says and I laugh until I realize he is serious.

“Well I´m sorry, you can take it from here on” he nods and tosses my bag in his back seat. We drive to his home and I am amazed by how huge this is.

“Are you living here alone? Isn´t it lonely? I sometimes hate it in my 3 room flat but this is the next, next level” he smiles and shuts down the engine.

“It is but I wanted to buy something where I can spend my life. And this is big enough to have a family someday and a bunch of kids” he explains as I follow him up the steps. He gives me a house tour and shows me where the huge guest room is. I even have my own bathroom.

“So, let´s get some music on and while I prepare dinner you take a nice bath, how about that? I put everything in your bathroom, enjoy” he winks at me and I smile.

“Thank you, see you in a bit” I wink at him and do to check out what he got for my spa day.

After my bath, which was really relaxing and soothing for my hurting legs and feet, I put on some comfy clothes and go back downstairs. My hair is still wet and when I walk down I can smell the food he made. He listens to some music and has changed into a pair of grey sweatpants, which hang low on his hips. His T-Shirt is the same as before and I watch how he swings his hips to the beat. He has a towel on his shoulder and stirs in a pot.

t“Smells amazing, what is it?” I ask and step closer to him. He turns his head towards me and holds out a spoon for me to taste what he is cooking. It looks like a curry and it definitely tastes like one, too. It´s delicious and when I tell him, he turns a bit red.

We sit down at his huge dining table with a glass of wine and our plates filled with his curry. We chat and laugh and when our eyes meet, I can feel a tingle in my stomach. Eventually, we end up on his couch, cuddled in a cosy blanket and watch a funny movie. I giggle and sip from my wine when I feel his eyes on me.

“What?” I ask and raise an eyebrow but he shakes his head.

“Nothing”

“Then stop staring, it´s rude” I reply and he smirks but turns his head back to the TV.

“I like this,” he says after some time and I look confused at him. He gestures with his hand a vague movement into my direction and back to himself.

“Oh yeah, it´s fun” I agree.

“Is it awkward?” he seems to be a bit scared of my answer but I shake my head.

“Not at all, feels almost natural doesn’t it?” he nods and we smile at each other.

The weekend goes by way too fast and before I can even blink properly it is Sunday afternoon and I stand next to his car, waiting for Harry to bring me home. He forgot his phone and went to get it.

I enjoyed this weekend and I am a bit sad that it is already over. We had a great time and finally got a bit closer emotionally.

“Go it. Ready to go?” he asks smiling, as he comes down the steps and I sigh.

“Not really, I really enjoyed spending time with you outside of work” he beams and takes my bag, to put it in the trunk.

“Glad to hear that because I had a blast. Can´t wait to do this again sometime” I nod and get into the car. The ride home is mostly quiet and I am captured in my own thoughts when he pulls over in front of my house.

“Thank you so much, Harry. I feel like we grew a bit closer, which takes time for me but I am glad that we did this” he smiles widely and tugs a strand of my hair behind my ear. His finger brush lightly against my skin.

“Me too, I´ll see you next week in the hospital. What is your shift?” he asks and I smile because he always comes when I am there.

“Starting at 2 pm”

“Okay, can´t wait” I get out of the car and he hands me my bag, before he pulls me into a hug. I grab his shirt at the back and tug my nose in his shoulder-chest area to inhale his scent.

After a minute or so he lets go of me and smiles.

“Don’t want to draw attention on us, see you soon Y/N”

 The next month goes by and we hardly manage to meet outside of the hospital. Due to the illness of one of my colleagues, I have to work nearly every day and Harry told us, that he is going back to LA to finish his album. He will be gone for a few weeks and I can´t help it but feel sad. I can't get free time until Dr Sally is back. Dr Seymour and I have to manage the whole station and it´s I have a hard time.

The kids and Harrys goodbye was sad but he promised to come back. I am not good with goodbyes and didn’t really know what to say, so we just hugged and said our goodbyes. Sometimes we text a bit but he knows that I am very busy and when finally Dr Sally gets back, I relax and take a few days off.

During this time Harry and I managed to facetime a few times and at first, I am a bit awkward but he makes it normal by being himself and being worried. To be honest, I look like shit and I am tired as hell and so exhausted.

“I have some good news, I will be back in a few days,” he says and my heart skips a beat before pounding like crazy.

“When? Annas final bloodwork is in the lab and will be due in around three days” I ask excited and he grins at me.

“I wanted to surprise you all but I can´t keep a secret from you…I will be home tomorrow night” I clap my hands together and reply:

“That’s awesome, she will be so happy to see you”

“And you? Are you happy to see me?” his voice gets a bit deeper and I can feel the heat in my cheeks.

“Of course, Harry. I miss you”

“Good…because I miss you, too” we smile at each other and chat about his music and how his album work goes before I head to bed.

 Three days later I stand in front of the hospital and wait for Harry to arrive. It´s Wednesday and I have to be back at work on Friday but I promised Anna and her family to be there when the blood tests come back. I chose my red duffle coat and as I wait it starts to snow. I am freezing but instead of waiting inside, where everybody knows me, I keep standing outside.

I put on my hat and tug my hands deeper into my pockets. Where the hell is he? I look around and see a tall man with a beanie and a dark coat walking towards me. He wears warm boots and gloves. His green eyes are fixed on me and he smiles as he comes closer.

“Hello there, you are so bright” he laughs and pulls me into a hug. I giggle into his ear and feel his hot lips on my cheek.

“Hey, how are you? You look great and relaxed” I compliment him and he beams.

“Thank you, you look lovely as always. I like the coat, red suits you. Wait…is that make-up? Just for me?” he mocks me and I shake my head and roll my eyes at him. Of course, I tried to look my best.

“Oh shut up. Come on” I pull him with me, trying to get him to stop but he won´t.

“So tell me, why did you put make-up on? You look so different but still cute. I like it but I like you anyway” he asks again and again until we are in the elevator and I face him finally.

“There is no deeper meaning behind me putting make-up on. I just wanted to, so calm the fuck down”

“Hm. I hoped it was because of me” he mumbles and looks down to his feet.

“What would that change, H?” he smiles as the door opens and I immediately get a bit nervous. This is Annas bis day.

“Harryyyy” she squeals and flies into his arms. I laugh and hug her parents, knocking on the office door.

“Oh hey, you are here for Annas results aren´t you?” Phil asks and I nod. He smiles at me and kisses my cheek. He is always aa bit flirty with me and I kind of like it. He is just a bit older than me and we always liked each other.

“Yes, we are. How are you?” I ask him and he nods. He had an operation a few weeks back when he couldn’t work.

“Better, thanks for doing all those extra hours. I owe you one…maybe some dinner soon?” he asks and I smile widely.

“Sure, I´d like that” he returns the smile and prints the results before we head back to the others, his hand on the small of my back.

“So Anna, you excited? Oh, you must be Harry, I am Dr Phil Sally” he introduces himself and shakes Harry´s hand. I feel a bit uncomfortable when his eyes wander to me and how Phil handles me. I never took a piss out of it and I honestly never thought about it but now…I can see that he is a bit hurt, I think. I immediately step back from Phil and wrap my arm around Anna.

“Soooo…this looks great Anna. I think you made it and you are clean” he says and I put my hands in front of my face and start crying. Anna hugs me and I lift her up into my arms, we both are crying and I am so overwhelmed with joy. Of course, I know that she will have to go to checkups rhythmically and often the cancer strikes back later but this is great news. She can have a few carefree years and experience being a teenager.

“Thank you for everything,” her mom says and we all hug each other, with watery eyes. Phil leads them into the office to give further information and I wave goodbye to them.

“I´ll text you about dinner” he says not too loud and kisses my cheek before joining them in the office.

“You okay?” Harry asks and I nod, trying to rescue my make-up. I smile at him and he smirks.

“So you and him, huh?” he asks and I look confused at him.

Part VI

Taglist:

@wotamelonsugar @lanallaa @highladyofelfhame-remastered @lucky-worm @theresthingsthatwellneverknow @nibabyy @magnificentbonkfarmlover

Hey guys, I am so sorry for letting you down but my life has been a bit crazy the last weeks/months. I am very sorry for keeping you waiting...I really am. 

[fantastic-rambles]

The Skylark’s Song [4/4]

Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

Characters: Hibari Kyoya, Kusakabe Tetsuya, Oikawa Tsuneo, Namimori Middle Disciplinary Committee

Warnings: Severe Injury, Murder (Aftermath)

Word Count: 1.9k

Summary: My personal headcanons of the (pre-canon) experiences that made Hibari into the man that he is today. Part Four: Epilogue, including why Hibari cares for “small animals.”

[Part 1]

"...-san! Hibari-san!"

A distorted yet vaguely familiar voice pierced the fog as he lay in the middle of an earthquake.

No, that wasn't right. There were hands on his shoulders, shaking him. Unusually slowly, he opened his eyes, blinking at the feeling of something tacky on his face. But when he tried to raise his arm to investigate, a searing pain arrested his movements.

Still, the voice continued to intrude upon his senses, and Hibari's vision gradually focused on Kusakabe Tetsuya leaning over him. Hibari was struck by the desire to thrash the new head of the Namimori Middle Disciplinary Committee for disturbing his nap, but his tonfa were missing, and for some reason, he simply couldn't lift his arms.

"Hibari-san! Are you okay?"

The world suddenly snapped into clear focus, and the memories came flooding back.

"Get your hands off me," Hibari rasped, weakly pushing against Kusakabe's arms with his left hand. The other boy obeyed instantly, and Hibari managed to raise himself up to a sitting position, leaning against the wall, before turning his head to look at the man next to him. The left side of Motozawa's face had been deformed, with the top of the skull crushed and his eye socket and cheek bone shattered. The skin and muscle drooped over the ruined bone like melted wax, and it was clear at a glance that he was dead.

He was dead, but Hibari was still alive. When he'd fallen, he honestly hadn't expected to wake up again: passing out in enemy territory after killing their head was practically a death sentence.

"What are you doing here?" Hibari demanded, glaring at Kusakabe. "I told you not to interfere."

Either his glare was weaker than usual, or Kusakabe was starting to grow a spine, because the other boy stared back at him unflinchingly despite the rebuke.

"We didn't interfere, Hibari-san. After all the noise died down, we waited a while, but you didn't come back, so we came to see the situation. You took care of this all by yourself."

Hibari glanced down the hallway, toward the office. Oikawa approached him, offering him his tonfa, and Hibari slid them back into place, securing them again.

"What's the current situation?"

"Nobody tried to get out while we were watching. It's been about 30 minutes since we stopped hearing noises. This guy's dead, and there's a bunch of guys back there that seem pretty out of it. One of them shot at us when we looked in, but nobody's come after us yet," Kusakabe reported, and Hibari nodded curtly, struggling to get to his feet. All of the other boys knew better than to offer him a hand, and he eventually managed to lever himself up, supporting himself against the wall. His head spun, but he remained upright by sheer force of will.

"Hibari-san? What do you want us to do?"

Hibari leaned his head back, looking up at the ceiling as he tried to clear his mind to determine the best course of action.

"Pick up the money. Hide it and this guy. I'll deal with them later. Call a cab so I can get to the hospital--"

"A cab?" Kusakabe interrupted hesitantly.

"An ambulance is too annoying. Clear out, then call the police using my name. They'll clean up the rest."

And they would. Hibari had already passed on the information his father had gathered and that he had added to with strict instructions not to move until they received a message from him. If he'd died, they wouldn't do anything, just as they had so easily forgotten all the support his parents had given them, but if he lived... With Motozawa gone and most of the rest arrested and eventually imprisoned, some of the cancer that was plaguing Namimori would be excised. It was inevitable that some of the small fry would swim away, but they'd probably drift elsewhere since their heart had been ripped out here. It would be a huge step towards realizing the dream that his parents had had for this town.

Although several of the boys were picking up the money, they all seemed to be skirting around the body, and even Kusakabe seemed hesitant to approach Motozawa. Again, Hibari recalled just how old they were, and he shook his head at himself.

"Get all the money at least. If you can't deal with the body, tell the police to get rid of it." It wasn't the best option, but it was probably as much as he could get.

When he pressed the elevator call button, the doors slid open immediately, and he stumbled inside. Kusakabe followed him, pressing the button for the ground floor, and Hibari slumped against the wall, his mind turning. Ideally, he had just wanted Motozawa to vanish without the police ever laying eyes on his corpse so there was plausible deniability. After all, to keep crime numbers low, the Japanese police preferred to simply report people as missing and bodies as improper disposal. Without any proof of foul play or a positive identification, Motozawa would have simply been forgotten.

Well, if it was just one body, he could still get it covered up. For that reason, he'd been careful not to kill anyone else in his fight: there were plenty of broken arms and legs in the office, as well as some broken ribs, but even with the influence he had been cultivating, it wouldn't extend to that much immunity from prosecution. Besides, other than Motozawa, he didn't remember much of anyone else from that night. And he definitely wouldn't become someone like Motozawa, who forgot the value of life. They were all weak, violent scum, but Hibari was hardly going to execute all of them for simply associating with Motozawa. It was enough for the rest of them to simply be sent to prison for a while. He still had plenty of opportunities to persuade them that it would be in their best interests to stay away from Namimori after they were released, if today wasn't already convincing enough.

He let Kusakabe make the call from the front desk, waiting just long enough to confirm that a taxi had been sent before starting the long, arduous walk across the lobby. His second-in-command hovered anxiously behind him, just out of reach, as Hibari simply focused on putting one foot in front of the other. He barely noticed when the other boy suddenly moved ahead of him to hold the door open, and he walked out into the setting sun that painted the sky bright red.

Fortunately, he didn't need to wait long for a car to pull up to the curb, its driver staring wide-eyed at the duo and clearly considering leaving without him. Still, money talked, and after Hibari flashed a Yukichi, the man unlocked the rear door, letting him collapse onto the back seat.

"Hibari-san, should I come with you?" Kusakabe asked, leaning over the open door, and Hibari hesitated before nodding reluctantly. He wasn't sure that he would remain conscious, so it would be better to have someone there who could explain the situation to the doctor. Immediately, Kusakabe sat down next to him as Hibari leaned forward to address the driver, holding out two bills.

"Namimori Central. The rest should cover the cleaning fees."

"You got it, sir."

The man took the twenty thousand, and Hibari leaned back in the seat, beyond exhausted and shivering slightly. He let his eyes drift closed as the car began to move, speaking quietly to Kusakabe.

"Tell the doctors that I've had a lot of blood loss and a bullet in my right shoulder," he commanded. "And that I didn't take any hits to my head."

If the other boy replied, he didn't hear it.

His stay in the hospital was uneventful, simply passing the time as he waited for his injuries to heal. He hadn't realized that he had a hairline fracture in his left arm that needed setting in addition to his other treatments, but it could have been a lot worse. The only reason he even needed to stay for a week was because of the severe muscle strain he had accumulated that made it difficult to move. A full recovery would probably take a few months, but the moment that he could walk with only mild discomfort, albeit with the assistance of painkillers, he checked himself out and returned home.

The authorities hadn't even tried to talk to him about what had happened, which meant that everything was probably going according to plan. It would still be a long process to prosecute all of the gang, but at least it would be starting to move forward. Furthermore, the Inagawa-kai had accepted his condolence money and agreed to not extend their operations to Namimori for a period of ten years, a compromise that gave him the time to ensure that they would never come, at least while he was alive.

He entered through the garden, pushing open the sliding door that led to the sitting room. An ancient dog immediately bounded over to him, followed more slowly by a raccoon with a splint on its back leg. Smiling slightly, he knelt to greet them, running his hands through their warm fur. They looked well despite his absence, probably tended to by his housekeeper, and after they had finally calmed down, he approached the butsudan, lighting two sticks of incense.

"Father, Mother. I've avenged you. I know that you probably wouldn't approve, but it's the choice that I've made. I will fulfill your dreams to make Namimori happy and peaceful in my own way, and I will always protect the weak. Please, rest at ease."

Six years ago, he had learned that strength was everything, and that violence was the greatest strength of all. Without the power to protect and enforce his ideals, all the political influence or money in the world was nothing.

This last year, he had learned that ruling by fear was a valid method. It would not do to keep the whole town in thrall since that would only contribute to unhappiness, but he could keep disruptive elements in check by ensuring they respected him and his reputation. And he was strong: last week had proved that. However, he would not be the frog in the well: he needed to challenge himself to even greater heights, to ensure that no matter what the threat, he could face it and protect what he loved.

And the animals he constantly rescued were a reminder to not forget the weak that were like his younger, helpless self. These small creatures were entirely innocent and subject to the whims of humans: the dog had probably been thrown out due to its age, while he'd found the racoon by the side of the road after it had been hit by a car. Even though Hibari didn't really care for people in general, his affection for the weak that were struggling to survive in the world with all their might reminded him to temper his violence.

He still had his nightmares, but he had also found a new purpose. He would be Namimori's guardian and disciplinarian. But his reputation was still weak, only really known to a few years' worth of students and a handful of the major playmakers in the town.

Slowly, he got to his feet, cradling the racoon in his arms and letting the dog follow at his heels as he went to the kitchen. There, he picked up the phone and dialed a number from memory.

"Hello, Principal? It's Hibari Kyoya. Please register me for my third year at Namimori Middle. I will also be staying on the Disciplinary Committee."

[A/N: And that's it! Thank you to everyone who watched this journey. I hope that you enjoyed my ideas of how Hibari was shaped into who he is!]

[kangkang98]

The Last Time I Saw

Pete

18 September 2004

It is a normal and peaceful day in Miami. Front of Pete’s restaurant & brewhouse. It is about 08:00 in the morning. While this particular brand is recognized as a jammed and crowded place, there are not many people drinking coffee there this morning. In this ghastly environment and situation, Pete: he was standing there. It is almost impossible to tell where Pete is from or how old he is; he is wearing a black suit with a thin black tie under long green dusters, holding a black briefcase with his right hand, looking very nervous and annoyed. Today was the last day of summer in Miami. The sky was warm and sunny. He was supposed to meet his girlfriend, Maria, and move back to their hometown, New York.

Indeed, today is a different day.

Pete works as a mob hitman for the famous mob boss, Jackson John the second. After he finished a final assassin mission, because of his family issue, he decided to retire from Jackson’s member’s gang. But he knows that Jackson would not let him leave since he is known as the cruelest mob boss around the corner. Therefore, Pete devised an elaborate plan to escape from the gang and move to his hometown with his beloved girlfriend.  

Moreover, the night before, he got into a fight with Maria. They have been together for seven years. They got into a big argument and Maria went out of the house because of betrayal and anger. The day after, they were supposed to meet at a Starbucks Coffee shop by their house but there is no sign of her. Worried, Pete called her several times but with no success. Next, he entered the coffee shop and sat at a booth, just like they planned. He ordered a cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin. The waitress pours a refill for him. He takes a mouthful of muffins and waits impatiently for Maria to show up. Suddenly, a man enters the shop as well. He has the same habit as Pete - It was his partner in crime, Mark.

“There you are. The boss was looking for you all day. “speaks Mark while sitting at the boot facing Pete.

A waitress comes by with a pot of coffee and a menu.

“Hi there. Can I get you something?”

“Oh, just water, thank you,” says Mark.

After the waitress walks away, he scans Pete from head to toe and sees the briefcase.

“Don’t you want a sausage or muffin? It’s on me, “Pete says nervously.

“Naw, I recently become vegan,” says Mark.

“Oh, how come? The food from this store tastes very good. I gotta go. See you later.”

As he was about to leave, Mark grabs his arms.

“Give me back the briefcase and I will forget what you did to me yesterday.”

After finishing his sentence, Mark takes out his 0.45 automatic from his pocket and points the barrel hard in Pete’s forehead.

“You have 3 seconds… 3…2….1”

“ Bang”

The last time I saw

Maria

17 September 2004

“I had enough! You never care about me when you are taking your stupid decision! Why didn’t you ask my opinion when you decide to move to your hometown?”

21 February 1997

Maria and Pete first meet at a party in Texas. Maria works as an accountant for Jackson’s gang and immediately falls in love with Pete at first sight. They took a walk and passed through a bakery that is getting a sugar delivery. The smell of sugar and sweet floating around them as Maria and Pete walk through it. They walked to Maria’s house – Pete told Maria he wants to kiss her. Then, he wipes the sugar off her lips and kissed her passionately. They were later seen as secret couples in the neighborhood.

17 March 2004

Maria’s diary explains how both she and Pete always fight and got into arguments in their seven years relationship. In her diary, Maria explains and talks about Pete’s troubles and difficulties; his parents are having financial problems and asked him for his trust fund money, which is approximately a million dollars. Maria was extremely shocked and sad that Pete would do that without discussing and talking to her first. Pete explains the money is the key to their problem; they need a big amount of money to save Pete’s father’s financial situation. To make the situation even worse, Maria’s mother, Sarah, has been diagnosed with breast cancer, which forced Pete to plan on making quick cash as soon as possible. Moreover, Pete has the idea to steal the briefcase during the next quest from his boss, Jackson, and move back to their hometown in New York. He chooses not to tell Maria, so she does not worry too much.

17 September 2004

After successfully stealing the goods from his boss, Jackson, he told Maria about his plan of escaping to the south. After hearing this surprising news, Maria became upset because Pete did not even discuss moving back to his hometown with her, although she will not support it; She feels left out in the relationship. The night before the departure, Pete is getting ready to escape to his hometown with Maria. He starts to get mad and angry when Maria tries to persuade him to stay with her, but he refuses. He asked her why they had to fight always these past seven years of their relationship. The argument escalates as Maria goes down the stairs, and at the bottom of the stairs, Pete grabs Maria’s arms and throws her down on the floor.  

Shocked by Pete’s violent act, she runs out of the house; and doesn’t want any affair with Pete anymore. She decided to get laid on the bar and forget everything.

The last time I saw

Mark

17 September 2004

In the middle of a peaceful office in Los Angela, it’s about 4:00 in the afternoon. There are two men in the room: is a young man and a middle-aged man. The young man has a slight working-class Texas cowboys’ accent and, the middle-aged man seems to have a slight Italian accent.

“You sure boss? I think it is too risky and dangerous to kill him in a public place like that. Yes, I want my revenge but I am done doing that shit. No way. Sorry boss. I am fairly sure we can get him another place.” says the young man.

“I don’t care. You have till tomorrow to retrieve the briefcase. Otherwise, you know what’s going to happen to you.”  

Jackson leaves the room. The other man’s name is Mark, another hitman in Jackson John’s employ and Pete’s partner in crime.

18 August 2004

Earlier in the afternoon, Pete and Mark arrive at Brooklyn and located at the target house. They were asked by their boss, Jackson John, to retrieve a valuable package worth a million dollars from their rival gang, the Kungfu – a group led by a bunch of crackers named Brad. After executing the Kungfu members, they took back the previous package – kept in a solid briefcase.

Mark and Jackson walk through the exit area and wait for the elevator.

“Why you look so nervous today Pete? This is unlike you.” Mark Says curiously.

“Yea… I am fine. Don’t worry about me.”

The elevator arrives, the two men step inside.

Two minutes passed.

“Ding”

The elevator door opens, and one man exits it with the briefcase in his right hand. The other man is on the floor, passed out.

The man walks to the truck and puts the briefcase in the back seat and drives the car to his house. The man with the briefcase is Pete. He knocked out Mark in the elevator and he falls flat on his back. Then, he took the briefcase with him.

17 September 2004

It has been one month, and Mark did not find any trace of Pete; Jackson asked him to retrieve the case within one month and the deadline is tomorrow. So far, he does not have any clue on how to trace him down. Thus, he decides to go to the bar he used to go to when he is under pressure. There, he met a pretty woman; her name is Maria. They talked about their personal life and seemed to enjoy talking to each other. While they were drunk, Mark found out that Maria is Pete’s secret girlfriend; he also found out that Maria was supposed to meet Pete the next morning, near the Starbuck of the airport, to go back to his hometown. He knocked out Maria and drives to the place where they were supposed to meet to retrieve the briefcase.

18 September 2004

“Bang”

The door of the restaurant is strongly open by a pretty woman; it’s Maria. As she throws her necklace on Mark, Pete punches Mark on his face and he passed out again. Maria looks at Pete, at the briefcase in his hand, then she runs to him, hugs and kisses him passionately. Grabbing the muffins on the table, the two run out the door.

The End

[heartofsnark]

Black Market Wonderland (Chapter Ten): The Fire It Ignites

Notes: Holo, here’s some Tsuneko for y’all. This chapter is honestly one of my faves so far. 

Word Count: 7290

Warnings: POV changes; men being perverts? that's about it. 

Missed the last chapter? Link Here!

Another day over, another day closer to the end of the bet. Tomorrow is the auction. Her throat tightens and her stomach churns at the thought. She hasn’t seen Hachirou around since last night and with any luck he won’t be around anymore for a while. Especially, with the auction right around the corner, thoughts of Hachirou taking her place in that cage, nearly makes her puke when she’s making a bed. Her pager buzzes after she drops Anais off at her parent’s suite for lunch. 

“Bring Kishi to the auction hall.” 

“Huh?”

“Five Minutes.” 

His voice cuts out and she pinches the bridge of her nose, of course he didn’t even tell her where Kishi is. Not that it’s a real mystery, he doesn’t exactly move a lot. He’s either up in the penthouse sleeping or smoking outside the hotel. She’s closer to the penthouse, so that’s her first choice. Her face falls the second she reaches the empty penthouse lounge. Literally, any other day he’d be napping on the couch. But, of course, not today. 

“Kishi!” 

Her voice echoes in the empty room, the only noise before she groans. If she looks out a window and he’s smoking by the dumpsters, she’s spitting on his head. He should know if they need to talk to him about something, he shouldn’t need a recovery team. Following her next guess, other than dumpster smoking, she makes her way to his suite. 

The familiar heavy smell of cigarettes hits her when she steps into the room, he’s not sleeping in the living room. Given his penchant for passing out on the couch, she was hoping he’d be there. She has no desire to go into his bedroom, obviously she’s been in there multiple times to clean, without him present. There’s just something odd about being in someone’s bedroom with them, like she’s crossing a boundary. The idea of someone she doesn’t know well in her bedroom makes her prickly, so she figures that must go for everyone. 

Tsuneko presses her ear to the bedroom door, she doesn’t expect to hear much through the wood, but there’s a steady snore. He’s sleeping, because of course he is. It’s the middle of the afternoon and he’s got somewhere to be, so, he’s sleeping. He calls her a child but pulls this kind of shit. 

“Hey,” she knocks hard enough to shake the door, “get up!” 

There’s nothing but the same steady snore when she listens closely. No muffled words, no rustle of movement, she might as well stay quiet for how much good it did. She’s going to kill him, who sleeps that heavily. He never seemed to be that deep of a sleeper when he was passed out in the lounge, he never even snored when he was in there. She pounds her fists against the door again. 

“You got until the count of three to get your ass up or else!” 

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. She kicks the door in frustration, Ichinomiya sure likes making her do the nearly impossible. Waking Kishi up in five minutes is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree. 

“One! Two! Are you fucking serious? Three!” 

She pushes the door open, letting it bang against the wall, hoping any noise might stir him. Kishi is sprawled out in his bed, tangled in half strewn sheets. Without the door filtering it, his snore is like a buzz saw going off in her skull. She’s half tempted to pinch his nose shut, to see if that’d stop it and wake him up. But there’s drool smeared down his chin and she’d rather die than risk touching his slobbers. 

“Gross.” 

She wrinkles her nose up at the sight of him, she’s never seen him out of his usual rumpled monochrome suits, now he’s in a baggy shirt and sweatpants. That looks stained. She kicks the side of his bed; his snoring cuts off for a moment as he flops around. His shirt rolling up to show his hairy stomach before his chainsaw snoring starts back up. 

“Gross.” 

There’s something even more weird about standing over him, while he’s sleeping. More reason for him to wake the fuck up. She really doesn’t want to touch him, at all.

“Wake up!” She screams, right near his nasty face. He’s not even almost fazed, this guy could sleep through a hurricane. Tsuneko chews her lip, contemplating what to do. 

She’s in the kitchen of his suite within the next moment, yanking open the freezer. Ice buckets come standard with most rooms. Sure enough, the silver bucket is there, still piled high with ice. Kishi doesn’t strike her as a chilling wine sort of guy, so she's not shocked it’s never been used. But it ought to do the trick. 

It takes both of her hands to pack it, the cold metal stinging and chilling her skin. She brings it into his room, sure enough; he’s still snoozing away. A grin pulls at her lips before she dumps the ice bucket onto him. 

“Ah, fuck!” Kishi is up like a shot, smacking ice off as he flops off the bed. 

“PFFFT,” she sputters and bursts out laughing, holding her stomach as she cracks up. 

“What the hell is going on?!” He yells in a sleep leaden voice as he shakes ice out of his shirt. 

“Ichinomiya,” she manages through her giggles, “told me to get you.” 

“So, ya threw ice on me!?

“You wouldn’t wake up!” 

He rubs a hand down his face, he’s shivering and there's a bit of water where the ice has melted against his skin. A groan leaves the back of his throat and he looks at the alarm clock on the bedside table, why does he even have that? That’s like buying a cat tower for a goldfish.

“It’s that damn auction meeting,” he grumbles. 

“Yeah, that’s kind of important.” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He grabs the back of his shirt and starts to yank it over his head. 

“Hey! At least wait until I’m out of the room!”

She flusters to turn her back to him, not wanting to see Kishi without his clothes. It’s bad enough she was forced to endure Oh’s peepshow the first night. 

“Pfff, no need to get your panties in a twist, not interested in kids,” he comments just as she starts to the door. 

“Good, I’m not interested in seeing your nasty old man body!” 

“Hey!” He yells after her as she leaves the room, shutting the bedroom door behind her.

 She grimaces, even the idea that she’d want him to be interested in her or whatever he was suggesting is so gross.  As far as the men who bought her goes, Kishi isn’t the worst of the bunch, but that’s a low bar. And he’s definitely not someone she’d be interested in.  

Ichinomiya seemed to be implying he wants her there as well which makes sense, given she’s being forced to participate in this stupid auction. So, she waits outside the door for Kishi to finish changing, playing on her phone. She’s barely opened an app before he’s leaving the room in a wrinkled suit. 

“You still here?” 

“I’m pretty sure he wants me there too, besides I don’t trust you not to wander off and go nap somewhere.” 

He gives a halfhearted shrug, halfheartedly admitting to his own incompetence. Tsuneko rolls her eyes before following him out of the suite, making a mental note that she’ll have to clean up the melted ice later.  She leans against the elevator wall and pulls out her phone again, while Kishi punches in the floor they’re going to. 

“I still have fucking water in my hair,” he grumbles and shoots her a glare. 

“Then you should have dried it, dumbass.” 

“You wanna hear more of Eisuke’s bitching about us being late?” Kishi pulls a cigarette out of his pack and starts to light it. 

“What the,” she snatches it from his lips, “you are not smoking in this elevator!” 

“Hey, what’s the big deal?!” 

“It’s bad enough I get secondhand smoke just looking at you, you’re not trapping me in a cancer box, too.”

“Don’t boss adults around.” 

“Then don’t act like a child.”

“I’m not the kid here.” He pokes his finger at her chubby cheek and she tries to bite him, just barely missing his finger as he pulls it away. 

“At least I act like an adult, you look ninety but act like you’re twelve.” 

“’Cause trying to bite me was real mature.” 

“Shut up!” She kicks him in the shin, why is he such an asshole?!

“Ow, you little brat!”

The elevators comes to it’s stop just as he levels a glare at her, so she rushes out as soon as the doors open, trying not to laugh. It’s childish, stupid, and does nothing to convince anyone she’s a responsible adult, but he deserved that kick. 

Ichinomiya said the auction hall, she knows where the stage and auction is, but that doesn’t seem like where they’d be meeting. Are they just loitering on the stage? Tsuneko is starting to look around the theater seats when there’s a sharp tug on the neck of her uniform, yanking her backwards. 

“Eagh!” She chokes and sputters at the fabric pulled taught around her throat, craning her neck to see Kishi dragging her towards a flight of stairs. 

“C’mon, ya fucking brat.”

She tries to cough out a response as she’s dragged by the scruff of the neck, but she can’t manage to. He drags her up a flight of stairs that goes up to balcony seating, where she sees the rest of the auction managers lounging around red velvet furniture. There are royal purple curtains pulled back to view the stage. 

“That’s no way to handle a woman, Kishi,” Baba admonishes him with a look of concern as Tsuneko struggles.  

“You’re late.” 

“She threw ice on me,” Kishi lets her go with a slight shove, “and kicked me.” 

“And I tried to bite you,” she adds in as she adjusts her uniform, making her way to the railing of the balcony. 

There’s a wonderful view of the stage, she can almost envision how she looked in her cage from here, a chill creeps up her spine. She shakes it off and turns away, pulling herself up to sit on the railing while she listens in on their meeting. 

“Wasting everyone’s time as usual.”

“What did you say?” Kishi narrows his eyes at Oh, it seems like they’re always picking a fight with each other.

“You heard me.” 

“Knock it off!” Ichinomiya cuts off the bickering before it gets out of hand. 

 “We’re still waiting on Maddy anyway.”

Kisaki makes a scoff of disgust at the mention of the Hatter and Tsuneko imagines throwing him over the railing, what is his problem? As if on cue, the Mad Hatter makes his way in, bright painted smile stretched across his face. 

“Hello, how are you all this lovely day?” 

“Worse now that you’re here.” 

“There you go with your jokes, again, Mr. Kisaki! Hehe~”

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Maddy, haven’t you Tsuneko?”

Baba moves closer to her perch on the railing as he asks his question, his hand lingering close to her lower back, the heat there but no direct touch.  It’s hard to discern if he’s trying to get closer to her ass or is preparing to catch her if she falls off the railing. Or both. 

“Yeah.” 

She shrugs her shoulders and scoots a little further over, careful to keep her balance. Baba’s eyes widen for a moment, incredulous, as if he can’t believe she would ever be able to stand a day with the Hatter. Imagine if they knew she’s spent a night in Wonderland, in the weirdly already prepared bedroom. 

“About the item list,” Ichinomiya redirects everyone’s attention back to the business at hand. 

“Ah, yes, I’ve inspected all the pieces for the auction.” 

“I got some great pieces this time, didn’t I?” Baba says with a bright smile, pride sparkling in his brown eyes. 

“Yes, quite I got goosebumps!” 

“Your presentation determines how much they sell for, I’m counting on you.”

“Leave it to me, good sir.” 

Tsuneko resists the urge to scoff at Baba being called good sir, while the Hatter bows dramatically with a hand to his chest. Is she going to be expected to act like that in the Alice costume? She doesn’t even want to think about it, everything about that ordeal makes her nauseous. Ichinomiya clears his throat, bringing the focus back on him. 

“Of course, Mr. Ichinomiya. Item number one is a female mummy clad in traditional dress, she was discovered in the desert during the thirteenth century.” 

“Sounds like a regular mummy, nothing rare about that.”

“Ah, but she’s not just a regular mummy, she’s the key to unlocking the mysteries of an ancient Egyptian civilization.”

Ichinomiya bites his lip and gears seem to be turning in his head, before the Hatter continues. 

“She was poisoned to death after learning secrets about the royal family.” 

“Fine, put it in the lineup,” Ichinomiya agrees, showing the first modicum of compromise since she’s met him. 

“Wait,” her head shoots up and Baba presses a hand to her back to keep her from falling, “you haven’t even finalized the item list?!” 

Ichinomiya's eyes land on her, sharp and cold, almost daring her to keep interrupting. 

“Why the hell did Oh give me three thousand pages to memorize if some of the items might not even be sold!? Now, I have useless garbage in my head!” 

“You should be used to that.” A smirk tugs at the corner of Oh’s lips, he was fucking with her! 

“I swear to god, you son of a, ahh-” she starts to try to climb off the railing, but Baba has a hold of the back of her uniform, so she swings her leg out instead, “you’re lucky my legs are too short to kick your ass from here!”

Kishi and Kisaki are cackling, pissing her off even more. Baba is just trying to keep her from flailing off the balcony. Ichinomiya is smirking and the Hatter seems to be a second away from laughing himself, she’s not entertainment for these assholes. 

“I’m terrified.” Oh rolls his eyes, not even bothering to look at her. 

“I’m gonna put my foot up your ass, you fuck-”

“Enough.” 

Ichinomiya stops the second fight of the meeting and Tsuneko bites down harsh on her lip as anger settles in her stomach. On the bright side, her anxiety over the auction and stage has been burned away by rage. 

“Continue,” he prompts the Hatter.

“Ah yes, item number two is hair, footprints, and scale impressions of an undiscovered mythical creature.” 

“There’s not anyone dumb enough to buy that, is there?” The moment the first word leaves her mouth, Ichinomiya is glaring at her. 

“Actually, I’ve heard is that the leader of the Jade Thorns was interested.” Oh almost seems ashamed that someone from his world would want bigfoot ‘evidence.’ 

“It’s a very large creature, as it’s footprints measure twenty-two by five inches. It’s body length is nearly ten feet and the hair sample is six and a half feet long.” 

“So, there’s a bigfoot hunting mobster out there?” 

“He’d pay high dollar for it, it stays.” 

Tsuneko shakes her head, they’re selling some mobster fake footprints and nasty long hair. It’s ridiculous, but if he’s dumb enough to buy it then there’s no cure for being a sucker. The Hatter continues prattling off each item and it’s details, letting Ichinomiya keep or veto each one mentioned. Sometimes the Hatter makes a case for them, usually ending with Ichinomiya agreeing, and other times he agrees with the rejection. By the end of the excruciatingly long list, there’s only a few items decided not to be kept. So, it probably wasn’t a complete waste to memorize the entire list. 

“I’d like to start the auction with the painting ‘The Weaver’, you appraised it?” Ichinomiya eyes flicker towards Kisaki. 

“Yeah it’s real, Baba managed not to grab any fakes this time.” 

“That’s only happened a few times and, in my defense, they were really well done.” 

“You’re going senile.” 

“I’d like to then follow that with the Duchess’ Bracelet.”

“Yes…but what did you think of introducing the ‘Box of Five-Hundred Pearls’ in between those items? Like a sorbet to cleanse the palate between courses.” 

Tsuneko is too poor to even begin to understand what that’s supposed to mean, but the slight nod of Ichinomiya’s head tells her it’s good. 

“Not a bad idea.” 

“Let’s move on to the second half of the auction.” 

“Why don’t we change the theme entirely?”

“So, the mermaid and mummy, then?”

“Yes! No one will be predicting those two items, I’m sure the audience will be delighted. Also, I was thinking about the ‘Pharaoh’s Sarcophagus’ for our showcase item. What do you think?” 

“Yes, let’s go with that.” 

They continue to prattle and hash things out, figuring out the order of items. Tsuneko makes notes on her phone, something else to study later, fantastic. 

“What about security?’ 

 “My men didn’t see anything of concern when they were bringing the items in, I’ve made sure all my men’s full attention will be on the auction tomorrow,” Oh tells him.

“What about the police?” 

“Just as clueless as they were last time,” Kishi grumbles, “everyone is caught up in some drug bust.” 

“Well, if everything is decided then-”

“Wait, Maddy, I was wondering something.” Baba stops him from scurrying off, the Hatter tilts his head. 

“What is it?”

“How have things been going with Tsuneko, next to boss you get to spend the most alone time with her.” 

“Oh, it’s been going wonderfully, I love spending time with Alice.” 

“Though, I did get to see her fresh out of the shower.” 

“I’m gonna gut you.”

Tsuneko shoots a glare at the winking Baba then she notices the way the Hatter’s expression has deflated and frozen. What’s wrong? She worries her lip between her teeth, the only reason he’s been going weird around her lately is when he’s been scared about her seeing him under the makeup. He was just getting out of the shower that night. 

“Haha…” A forced chuckle makes its way out of the Hatter’s throat, tension floods the room, pulled tight from the out of character behavior. 

“You okay, Maddy?” 

“Hahaha…”

“Huh, did we break the Hatter?” 

“Hahahaha…”

Tsuneko pushes herself off the railing, Baba finally letting her, she can’t just watch him freak out. She could never bring herself to hit him, probably, so instead she snaps her fingers beside his ear. His eyes go wide and he jolts, eyes then darting around the room as he realizes the tension in the room. 

“Ah! Uh….I need to go prepare.” 

Then he’s gone, leaving a pit in Tsuneko’s stomach. Even with the Craigslist fiasco happening, things are still awkward, he’s so scared of her even mentioning she’s seen his real face or his friend as he claimed. 

“I’m gonna head back to work.” 

She darts off before any of the auction managers can bother her about whatever inane bullshit they’d make up. Tsuneko returns to her work, but she finds herself constantly checking the time, dreading every minute that passes. She tries to stay engaged with her conversations with Anais, but the time feels like it’s creeping up on her. 

Tomorrow is the auction; she’ll have to be on that stage again. She hates it. Absolutely hates it. She drops Anais off a little earlier than necessary, not wanting the young girl to worry about the way the color keeps draining from Tsuneko’s face. Every thought of stepping onto that stage feels like she’s pushed right back into that cage. She finishes her shift by cleaning up the penthouse, thanking whatever gods may be listening that none of them are there to see the way her hands are shaking. 

Her shift is over, the day nearing its end. She’s changed out of her uniform and is fiddling with the good luck talisman as she takes slow deliberate steps towards the auction hall. She has to push past this. If not, she’s going to have a full-scale meltdown in front of hundreds of people which is not an option. 

She reaches the door that leads backstage, all she has to do is open the door and step through. Her fingers twitch and clench around the charm, yep, just has to open the door. She runs a hand through her hair, untangling a knot her fingers catch on. Just has to open the door…She kicks the door, like that will help. 

“Shit!” A voice calls out from behind the door and she hears a rustling sound, what the fuck? 

Tsuneko pushes open the door with a slam and rushes out onto into the backstage, seeing a glimmer of someone running out to the main stage. She runs after them, just catching them fumbling to jump off the stage. Her blood goes cold. Sprawled between the rows of velvet chairs, just a short distance from the stage is Hachirou, the familiar head of messy auburn hair and green gold eyes. He freezes looking up at her.

“What the hell are you doing?” She marches across the stage and hops down from it, landing herself in front of him. 

“I was….uh, just…”  He struggles to answer as he climbs to his feet. 

“Why the hell are you even here?” 

“I was just looking around… What is this place for?” 

“None of your business.”

The double doors that the audiences use start to push open and Tsuneko tackles Hachirou to the ground between two rows of chairs, hiding them from immediate view. Oh’s men are providing security with the I.V.C and the auction, she figured they’d be patrolling the floors around the hall and storage where the items are. She has an actual reason to be here, Hachirou does not. 

Tsuneko presses a hand tight over his mouth, not letting another noise escape his mouth. Her body is over top of his, her weight on him, their noses practically touching. His body is lean and thin under her, she wonders if she should shift, fearful she might be crushing his small frame. 

“Is anything in there?” A rough voice echoes through the auditorium. 

“Not that I see, but I definitely heard something.” 

Footsteps click down the aisles, growing louder and louder, closer and closer. 

“Eh, it’s a big room, when there’s no auction going on every little sound echoes.” 

“You’re probably right, I don’t see anything.” 

The footsteps halt then slowly fade as the men agree to leave the room be. She hears the doors shut again and counts to three before climbing off of Hachirou and pulling him up to his feet, there’s a faint flush to his cheeks. 

“C’mon we gotta go, dumbass.”

 She grabs a hold of his shirt sleeve and drags him from the auditorium. Her eyes dart back and forth as they cut a path to the back exit, speeding up every time she there’s a sign of one of Oh’s men. An echo of steps, the muttering of voices, every little thing sends her reeling. If they catch him, he could get seriously hurt, especially so close to the auction. They bought her and she made the bet, which created some sort of buffer in the end. But, Oh was going to kill her before that. She runs faster, she needs to get him out of here. 

 Mamoru lets out a puff of smoke from his cigarette, gray fumes fading into the night air. There’s the familiar little headrush and the taste of nicotine heavy on his tongue as he relaxes against the Tres Spades, the grimy dumpsters just a few feet away as he enjoys the quiet. 

The back doors swing open suddenly, nearly smashing into him, before he sees two people rush out. One familiar and one new. There’s some red-haired guy he's never seen before and the maid Eisuke has the bet with, Tsuki…Tsuru…something…They’re both panting, and their faces are flushed red like they’ve run a marathon, her hand is pulling at the guy’s sleeve. 

“What the hell were you thinking!?” She spins around to screech at the boy, she’s always yelling about something and being a pain in the ass. 

“I was curious!” He tries to defend himself, why the hell was he in the hotel? 

“That’s not a fucking excuse, do you have any idea how much trouble you could have gotten into?! If it,” she’s gesturing wildly and she seems to finally notice Mamoru is there, “are you fucking kidding me?! Of course, of fucking course you’re here right now, fucking hell!” 

As usual, she doesn’t even have the decency to pretend she’s happy to see anyone. He heaves a sigh; he doesn’t want to be bothered with whatever this is. It’s bad enough one annoying kid has been dragged into his life, but if this new one is poking around the auctions and if something goes sideways, it’s just going to be a bigger headache

“What’s goin’ on?” He slurs his question out around a cigarette. 

“Oh, uh, I-” The scrawny boy stutters and fumbles over what to say. 

“Officer Kishi,” she emphasizes his title with a stern voice, “would you mind telling him how his ass can be thrown in jail for trespassing if he were caught sneaking around the hotel basement?” 

The guy’s face goes stark white at the realization that technically Mamoru is a cop, but as long as it doesn’t bite him in the ass too hard, he can’t say he really cares. 

“Ain’t got nothing to do with me.” He shrugs, taking another inhale of smoke and the maid’s face goes bright red. There’s practically a vein throbbing in her forehead. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Would it have killed you to help me for five fucking seconds?!” 

“Look, I’m sorry okay, I just-” A loud growling and gurgling noise comes from the boy’s stomach and his face flushes red again. The pair of them are really just kids. 

Tension drains from the maid’s face, a sputter of a laugh and a soft smile pulling at her lips. Her smiles are few and far between, it’s not bad seeing them. She ought to relax more, kids should be happy…not that it’s any of his business. 

“You hungry?” She asks, that smile directed at the stranger. He can’t think of a time that it’s ever been directed at him or any of the other auction managers. 

“Uh, I mean, I’ve only really ate some instant ramen for the past, um, week.” He scratches the back of his head, face flushed. 

“Christ,” she rubs a hand down her face, and he can already see the gears turning in her head, there’s nowhere open or that delivers at this hour, “is that why you’re rail thin? C’mon, dumbass, I’ll at least let you eat while I lecture you.” 

She starts to pull the guy towards the employee dorms, she’s not seriously going to let this man into her apartment, is she? Even if he’s a runt, he’s still a guy and one she doesn’t know well. Naïve can’t even begin to describe it, all he can liken it to is a toddler shoving their hand on a burning stove, everyone else able to see the potential danger but they don’t get it. 

“Y’know if you feed strays they’ll just keep comin’ back.” 

“Haha, you’re hilarious.”  

She rolls her eyes and the pair continue on their way, Mamoru’s following after them, feet moving before he knows it. They’ve reached the door before she realizes he’s tagging along, she narrows her eyes at him, no hint of the smile from earlier. 

“Where the hell are you going?” 

“You gonna invite him over in front of me and not invite me too? That’s kinda rude, don’t you think?” 

“You’re not starving, piss off.” 

 She rolls her eyes and continues pulling the boy into the dorm, he follows them anyway. If something happens to her, it’s just going to be a bigger pain later. For whatever reason, Eisuke’s taken a shine to her and there’ll be hell to pay if she gets hurt. Besides, he’s not turning down a free meal.  They reach her door and she lets the younger guy in before shooting Mamoru a dirty look. 

“You really gonna tell me to buzz off?” She groans and rolls her eyes. 

“Hurry up, before people think a homeless guy broke in.” 

Stepping into her dorm, he regrets bothering with this, it’s no place for a man. He immediately catches soft fresh smells, like flowers or something soft and girly. Everything in the place seems to be white, pastel, or has some cartoon character on it making him feel gross and dirty in comparison. Like if he breathes the wrong way, he might stain something.  

The dorms aren’t tiny, but they aren’t huge either. Bigger than Mamoru’s own cheap rinky dink apartment. She shuts the door behind him, her eyes dart for a minute past the partial wall that provides some separation between her bedroom and the rest of the dorm, despite the studio apartment layout. He can just see part of a dresser.  Maybe, she’s weird about people being in her bedroom, the kid is strange. 

“You can only get to the bathroom through my bedroom, so you better not have to go at any point,” she grumbles before rummaging through her fridge and pantry, “I have the stuff to make ginger pork, so that better be okay.”

Mamoru plops himself in one of the pink wooden chairs at a little glass table she has near the kitchenette, a pale imitation of a dining room. The young guy is trying to look unbothered, staring off into space, but his leg is bouncing anxiously.  She’s thrown on an apron as she starts to prepare food, something about it makes her seem even softer, like a housewife. 

“Sounds fine to me,” the younger man mutters. 

“Don’t think me cooking, gets you off the hook, Hachirou. We need to have a serious talk.” 

“What are you his mom?” 

“You don’t even need to be here, old man.”

“She really does act like a nagging mom, doesn’t she?” Hachirou snickers along with Mamoru. 

“Do you two really wanna piss me off when I have a knife!?” She yells over her shoulder, the steady sound of her knife hitting a cutting board fills the gaps between her words.

“Look, I’m sorry okay-”

“Sorry, did you even think? Not only could you have gotten yourself locked away, I could have gotten in trouble for helping you!” 

“I didn’t ask you to help me.” The chopping stops with that comment, the maid whirling around to face them, brows furrowed and eye twitching. Mamoru can’t help snickering, as long as it’s not directed at him, her short fuse is pretty funny. 

“And what if I didn’t, huh? What do you think would have happened?” She walks closer, eyes harsh. 

“I don’t know-”

“You would have been caught by security and you, me, and the guy in the basement would have been screwed.” 

Eisuke mentioned something about the Hatter inviting strangers to his room, for some insane reason or another. That must be how Hachirou got curious about the hotel, creating a headache for everyone. 

“I just wanted to know what’s going on, I didn’t hurt anyone,” Hachirou grumbles as the maid takes a seat across from her, obviously talking while she cooks wasn’t having the desired impact. 

“Look, you know there are a lot of rich people at the Tres Spades, right,” she waits for a small nod, “well sometimes, rich people are fucking weird. The Hatter is really nice, but he’s strange okay. He has the money to do whatever little whim pops into his head, so he does. But, sometimes those things are stupid and dangerous, like inviting randos from the internet over. I already told the owner that everything was taken care of with it, so if it turns out that someone is sneaking around it’s going to come back on me and the Hatter, do you get that?” 

“I…guess…” 

“Even if you don’t care about your own wellbeing, at least worry about others, alright?”

 She puts a hand on Hachirou’s shoulder, and the guy finally gives a small nod, looking like a dog that’s just been scolded. Content she finds her way back over the makeshift kitchen and starts cooking again.  The smell of ginger pork starts to spread through the dorm and Mamoru can feel his stomach growling. 

He’s not a picky eater, not by any right, but home cooked traditional Japanese food is always better than the professional made stuff they serve at the hotel. The smell alone is enough to make him drool and think of days when his mom would cook the same dish, making the unfamiliar apartment feel cozier in a sense. He finds his eyes continuously drawn to the maid, Tsu…whatever. 

Everything about her has screamed child to him, since he first saw her, she’s nothing short of a brat with the way she pouts, throws tantrums, and never seems to shut up. A kid in almost every single way he can think of, but right now… Mamoru isn’t blind, if it wasn’t for her personality, she’d be real cute. And right now, as she works over the stove, apron tied around her, with her hair in a messy ponytail, and her soft features screwed up in concentration…that brattiness doesn’t shine through quite as much. 

She shuts off the shove and plates the food, untying her apron and putting it aside before she brings the food to the table to hand over to him and Hachirou then sits down herself. 

“If anyone has any complaints, they know where the door is,” she tells them, her personality once again killing any attraction he might have had to her, not that he had any. 

Then maybe the little sparks of attraction, that definitely isn’t there, ignites again when he tastes her cooking. It may be something simple but it reminds him so much of home, almost exactly how his mom would make the dish. Mamoru wouldn’t consider himself sentimental, he’s a grown man. But, it’s hard to deny the warm feeling when her food reminds him of home and better times. He’s not ashamed of the way he devours it, so good.  Tsu-something would probably make a good wife, if she ever finds someone willing to put up with her attitude. 

“Do either of you plan on breathing?” She asks, covering her mouth and stifling a laugh, he looks over to see Hachirou scarfing down the meal in the same way. She’s smiling again, her eyes on the runt. 

“It’s a compliment,” Mamoru tells her through a mouthful and her eyes land on him, nearly making him choke.  

“Appreciate it.”

She’s smiling at him for the very first time. That bright smile that crinkles her eyes and shows that little dimple in her cheek and he’s suddenly grateful she’s never smiled at him before. It’s too much, his face is warm like the sun’s shining on him and he can’t keep looking at her. In his panic to look elsewhere, his eyes drift below her neck. 

The way she’s sitting, elbows on the table and leaning forward, her cleavage is on display. Not a bad place to look instead. Again, while she is a brat and a kid, she’s one with a pretty smile and a nice pair of tits. The latter of which has been the topic of a few conversations in the penthouse, guy talk that would no doubt earn each of them her wrath. She’s curvy, chubby, with a full chest that constantly seems to be on the verge of spilling out of her top when she bends over. A little freckle on her cleavage is half covered by her shirt and he wonders how many she has, then a piece of broccoli hits his cheek with a splat. 

He tears his gaze away from her chest to see that megawatt smile replaced with gritted teeth and furrowed eyebrows, her cheeks flushed red with anger. Now that’s a face he’s used to her making at him. Her chopsticks are poised to throw more food at him.  

“Can you not be gross for like five seconds?!” She yells at him, voice shrill with her anger. If she just lost the ability to talk, she really would be decent wife material. 

“I didn’t do anything,” he says, knowing full well what he was just caught doing.

“Yeah right, you dirty old man, do me a favor and keep your eyes on your food!” 

“I’m done,” he says, showing off his empty plate, maybe he can con her into giving him more.  

“Then leave!”

“There’s not any left?” 

“Not for you!”

Mamoru tries not to grumble or pout, he’s a grown man, he doesn’t pout. But, when Hachirou finishes his plate and she gives him the rest of her own, well, it’s just rude. Finally, he finishes the last of the food and Mamoru is entirely too grown up to glare at some kid for eating the rest of the food, he would never ever do that, nope. It’s Hachirou who speaks up once he’s done eating. 

“Uh, I guess I should getting out of your hair.” 

“Are there still trains running to your dorm at this time?” 

She’s not going to offer for the guy to stay the night, even she isn’t that naïve, right? 

“Yeah, there is, I should be able to get back no problem.” Hachirou is blushing from her kindness and Mamoru rolls his eyes, damn brats. 

“If you’re sure, if not, you can crash here.” 

He’s not sure Hachirou brushes off the offer because he genuinely doesn’t feel it’s needed or because Mamoru is maybe glaring a little harsher at him than needed. If something happened to her, Eisuke would throw a hissy fit and he’s not dealing with that shit. 

“Nah, I really can’t impose.” 

“Fine, but at least let me give you some food to take back.” 

“You don’t have to.” 

She’s already in the fridge, getting out containers of home cooking, leftovers, boxes of bakery goods, and whatever else she deems fit to put in Hachirou’s arms. By the time she’s done he has Tupperware stacked up to beneath his chin, enough food to set him for at least a couple weeks. 

“That should make things a bit easier, when you’ve finished it all just bring the Tupperware back and I’ll give you some more, I know things are tight when you’re in college, but I don’t want you going without, alright?” 

He nods as she ruffles through his hair, she really is babying him, the guy might be young but he’s not an actual child. She doesn’t need to be this nice. 

“Got anything for me?” Mamoru asks, unable to resist trying to insert himself into the situation. The glare she levels at him as she crosses her arms just makes him grin, she’s too easy to annoy and rile up. 

“I got a boot to put up your ass.” 

“Eh, I’m good,” he relents, knowing too well how real her threats of violence are.  

“Get out, Kishi. You can come back whenever you feel like, Hachirou, just stay clear of the hotel, alright?” 

“Alright,” he agrees as he starts to head for the door, but has difficulty opening it with the pile of food in his arms.

“Go help him.” 

“So, fucking bossy,” Mamoru groans, but does what she asks, getting the door for Hachirou before following him out of the dorm.  

They walk down the hall in silence, Mamoru yawning as they reach the elevator, his stomach full of good food, he’s going to sleep well tonight. Though, he still wishes he could have grabbed some more. Maybe next time he does a favor or something for her, he can badger her into cooking for him. 

“Y’know…” Hachirou speaks up as they get into the elevator and the glint in his eyes makes Mamoru completely uncomfortable, reminiscent of Ota when he’s about to say or do something awful. 

“What?” 

“I’m not one to give advice or anything.” 

“Then don’t.”

“But, I gotta say, I think you gotta have some lower expectations, old man.” 

“Whazzat supposed to mean?” Mamoru slurs his words, as he starts to light up a cigarette, not caring about whether the little shit next to him minds.

“I’m just saying, I mean, I get we all aim our sights a little high sometimes, but Tsuneko is sooooo out of your league, it’s ridiculous.” 

Tsuneko, that’s her fucking name, that was going to drive him crazy. Wait…

“What the fuck is that suppose to mean!?” 

The door of the elevator opens and Hachirou steps out with a smirk and Mamoru trailing after him. 

“Oh come on, you’re not exactly subtle, you were eyeing her like a slab of meat.” 

“I like tits, fuckin’ sue me!” 

“Yeah, it wasn’t just when you could see her tits, I’m just saying. A crush never hurts, but if I was you I wouldn’t get my hopes up.” 

“I ain’t got any sort of crush on her, ‘cause unlike some people, I’m not a fuckin’ kid.” 

“Well, that’s good,” Hachirou tells him as they leave the lobby, cold night air on their skin, “I’d hate to see you get hurt when she rejects your old ass.” 

“Hey, what the hell makes you think she’s the one out of my league, huh? She’s nothing but a fuckin’ brat!”

Hachirou laughs, the little fucker actually laughs in Mamoru’s face. The older man’s fist twitches with the urge to deck the little shit, what the hell makes Tsuneko so out of his league? Sure, she’s young and cute, but her personality leaves a lot to be desired. And Mamoru, well he’s… He’s…got positive traits, probably somewhere, that would make him desirable to someone… Tsuneko isn’t perfect and that’s the point!

“Hey, if you don’t like her, then it’s not a problem. I’m just saying, I think if it came down between someone like you and someone who’s y’know younger, better looking, in college making something of themselves, that she’s already comfortable spending the night with, her choice would be kinda obvious, don’t you think?” 

“Look here-”

“Ah, I gotta get to my train, see you around Kishi.” 

Hachirou goes off towards the train station, vanishing off into the night lights and leaving Mamoru smoking between the dorms and hotel. His cigarette hangs from his lips, smoke swirling in the air. Something tight in his chest and he doesn’t know what. 

He doesn’t like her. Not at all and not one little bit, the fact he’s just been practically challenged for the affection of a woman he doesn’t even want shouldn’t phase him. If Hachirou has a crush on Tsuneko, that’s his business. Hell, if the kid wants to talk down to his rivals, Mamoru can show him to some actual rivals for that brat, how even one let alone so many people like her is beyond him.. But it still pisses him off, just the suggestion that she was out of his league, the notion she’d never want him. Maybe, it’s just his ego, but something nags at the back of his mind, telling him to make that kid eat his words. 

[jewelstrology]

✦ The Signs as Flowers ✦

(I tried to not do flowers that are too predictable because I know that’ll get boring)

Aries: Milk Thistle {Silybum marianum} Bright but prickly and highly protective, like really, a thistle literally saved Scotland once. Don’t fuck with a thistle, and don’t fuck with Aries. Thistle is also used for breaking hexes/curses/jinxes. Use it for lifting the mood as it’s a strong mood enhancer and can be used in magick involving mental health especially depression. You can probably use thistle to curse people too, it just depends on how you use it’s power. It’s useful for a ton of things and it’s obviously very powerful. :)

Taurus: Frangipani {Plumeria} A flower I personally associate with friendship. You could probably gift a necklace with a Frangipani symbol on it to a friend for long lasting friendship. It’s aesthetically pleasing, and smells of heaven! It softens others to you, attracts love, trust and admiration your way. Trust is very important to a Taurus. I feel it reminds me of Taurus because it’s colours are neutral and the flower is simple yet beautiful. It also promotes self-love.

Gemini: Baby’s Breath {Gypsophila} One of my fave flowers, associated with the heart, purity and immortal love. Light and elegant. Small flowers with a a big impact, especially when bunched together, plus they look like their gossiping, no tea ☕️ . Makes every bouquet look prettier imo. I made this Gemini’s flower because these plants bring together people AND bouquets. They seem.. social? Gemini’s are good at bringing people together to have fun while keeping situations light. I also associate both baby’s breath and Gemini’s with youth. Gemini’s are very energetic and sometimes it takes a while for them to grow up, but that’s just because they let their inner child roam free, letting themselves have fun.

Cancer: Hyacinth {Hyacinthus} Named after Hyakinthos, a Greek prince from ancient strokes who was in love with Apollo! He was gay and I never knew of this story, now I’m interested. Hyacinths are associated with emotion and sometimes sadness, forgiveness, consistency and sincerity. Also homosexuality and ummm I’m going to say freedom. I think I put this flower with cancer because cancers believe in all types of love and will protect and fight for it. This flower also as similar properties to the moon because it represents the emotional side of things.

Leo: Winged Everlasting {Ammobium alatum} So I just found out about this flower and I’m shook. It’s so cute. Associated with summer, it’s attractive, protective, and resembles the sun. The reason why it’s a good protective flower is because when it grows, the flowers bunch together. No one is more fiercely protective than a Leo. It also has a really pretty name and can be known as sandflower. Winged everlastings are like sunflowers and daisies mixed together, if that makes sense. The white petals are actually apart of the stem and the yellow in the middle is the actual flower. Like this flower, Leo’s are interesting and deserve to be noticed, pay attention because they have a ton to offer. x

Virgo: Magnolia Flowers {just...magnolia?} Has anti-anxiety and healing properties, good for virgos! 😂 Magnolia is said to increase feelings of love and loyalty, is peaceful and promotes a sense of freedom. It helps open you up but in a comfortable way and it is associated with femininity. You can use it to have a happy, long lasting marriage because Magnolia enhances faithfulness in marriage and is also used to purify homes. This flower reminds me of what virgo stands for; purity, hearth, health, and loyalty. Or at least that’s what Virgo represents to me.

Libra: Jasmine {Jasminum} The flower of purity, sensuality, attraction and grace! Jasmine essential oils are one of the most expensive, and Venus ruled Libra live for luxurious items. Jasmine is associated with psychic abilities and can clear the mind, letting you see things for what they are, and Libras respect honesty. This flower will enhance your femininity whether you’re female or male, it’s all about equality when you’re a libra, right? The scent of jasmine is the most heavenly scent I’ve ever smelt in the entire world, so you guys are lucky I let you have this one! 😂

Scorpio: Opium Poppy/Oriental Poppy {Papaver somniferum Papaver orientale} I’ve put both because in Australia we wear Oriental poppies on ANZAC Day, when I was younger someone told me we wore them because all the dead soldiers blood on the field grew deeper into the soil and blood red poppies. Associated with death and sleep but sometimes also pleasure, given as offerings to the dead. Even though this flower is associated with death, I think it’s beautiful because it’s all about respecting the dead and remembering. It’s not about the sadness, it’s about saying thank you. ❤️

Sagittarius: Lilac {Syringa vulgaris} Protection, romance, and happiness. Lilacs are most commonly used for driving away bad spirits from haunted homes and mask the scent of death, but I associated Sagi’s with Lilacs because they lighten up lives and remind people how good life can be by having fun. I read that if you want to attract a short, flirty romance that isn’t too deep and is just for the summer 👀 use lilacs in spell work. Sagi’s love being flirty and having fun but they don’t always want to be bound to one person.

Capricorn: Periwinkle {Vinca major} Used for strong protection against evil and can eliminate negative energy. Can enhance your inner power, and it’s said to be quite powerful. In welsh folklore it’s said that if you pick periwinkle from a grave you’re surely to be haunted, but respect the periwinkle and it’ll protect you from negative entities and witches who might want to curse you. It’s said to exorcise demons too. Periwinkle is powerful and a hard worker and great for any type of magick so you can see why I thought of capricorn.

Aquarius: Yarrow {Achillea millefolium} A highly spiritual flower used to enhance psychic abilities, can be good for astral travel, lucid dreaming, connections to the spirit world and divination. Used for protection, healing and banishing negative entities. In China, yarrow is used to promote intelligence and Aquarians are one of the smartest signs of the zodiac. In Greece its associated with the Trojan War hero Achilles, it’s said that yarrow was used to treat his wounds. Yarrow was important to many ancient cultures and it’s still important today. Yarrow has been used for so many things over the years and it also looks really cute, you can just use it for decor and it’ll protect your whole home.

Pisces: Dandelion {Taraxacum} In my experience, dandelion will highly elevate your psychic abilities and might give you weird ass dreams if you drink Dandelion root tea before bed. The most popular use of dandelions is to make wishes with them, I use to think that the little things that flew off were fairies (and that was before tinker bell came out). So I associated Dandelions with imagination, something pisces has a ton of. You can also use dandelion to connect with spirits or for dreamwork, like lucid dreaming and astral projection.

if you’re interested in a love reading message me 💖