#neither of the doctors ever even ask how i’m doing at the start of appointments

[innko]

i’m seeing 2 different doctors at the uni hospital - a gynecologist and an internist. the gynecologist ordered bloods my first visit, which she never gave me. i got them from the internist after asking and my CA 19-9 was moderately elevated, which is elevated enough to possibly be cancer, although most of the time the cause of elevated CA 19-9 is a benign disease. but all the internist said about it was “you’re not young so it’s not cancer” and when i asked the gynecologist, she didn’t even apologize for forgetting to give them to me and just said “a lot of times it’s elevated for no reason” (maybe true for slightly elevated but not when it’s elevated enough to possibly be cancer - it’s usually caused by something, whether malignant or benign. completely healthy people don’t just produce loads of CA 19-9). and she only told me she’d retest for it next month after i pointed out it can be caused by gi diseases, WHICH I HAVE THE SYMPTOMS OF. i mean it probably is a benign cause but now i get to go around having fleeting paranoid thoughts about having pancreatic cancer and kicking it because the uni hospital wanted to ignore me and my test results. and even if it’s not cancer, they’re a hospital??? they’re also supposed to diagnose and treat benign diseases???

[alittlebitofloveliness]

any soda headcanons?

Hi! I hope these suffice, I couldn't help but throw a little bit of Stevepop in :)

Sodapop Curtis Headcanons

-The Curtis house has a half finished basement which is where the laundry machine is, but the ceiling is FULL of spiders and spiderwebs. Both Darry and Pony are PETRIFIED of spiders, like Ponyboy is jumping from foot to foot and hyperventilating and Darry SHRIEKS when he sees one, so its always Soda’s job to de-spider the basement and he absolutely hates it (he's a little scared of them too, but not nearly as bad as his brothers)

-He has the friendship equivalent of those ‘you cheated on me in my dreams and now I’m mad at you”. One time he dreamed Steve left him stranded at the Dingo and was lowkey pissed at him the next day. Poor Steve was SO confused

-Loves both peanut butter and chocolate by themselves, but HATES when they’re combined together. Bro HATES reeses cups with a passion

-After the Curtis parents died he snuck into their room, stole his mother's half full perfume bottle and hid it in his bedside table. Sometimes before he goes to bed, when Ponyboy is busy brushing his teeth, he’ll spritz a little on his wrist because when he closes his eyes and smells her perfume he can pretend his mom is hugging him again.

-Thinks bananas are spicy (they’re not, he’s just mildly allergic but doesn’t realise it. Everyone in the gang thinks he’s making a joke every time he says it. He isn’t.)

-Him and Steve swing dance together at work sometimes when they’re working alone in the garage and his stomach flutters every time Steve dips him 

-Cannot sing to save his life and does it all the time anyway. Like, he sounds like he’s gargling with rocks, it’s actually painful. Dally has literally paid him to shut up before.

-Steve’s pet cat absolutely HATES him and Soda will always and forever be mad about it because “what did I ever do to her???”

-Can’t remember what his dad’s voice sounded like anymore. It haunts him.

-The easiest way to piss him off is to disrespect Steve in front of him. Sodapop is convinced the sun shines from his grumpy best friend’s glaring eyes, and if anyone doesn’t see that he WILL throw hands, no questions asked

-The Curtis’ have a chore jar full of little slips of paper with the really unpleasant chores they only have to do once in a while written on. Every three months they each draw two each so that way it’s fair who does what. EVERY single time Soda ends up having to clean behind the stove and he’s forever bitter about it because “it looks like a crime scene back there Dar and I know it ain’t just my fault!”

-He and Steve gave each other stick and poke tattoos once but his got SUPER infected. He would’ve had to tell Darry and probably go to the hospital if it weren’t for Evie, who luckily had some training from her tribe’s medicine woman and managed to fix him up.

-Him and Darry do rock paper scissors to decide who has to tell Ponyboy when he has a doctors appointment because Pony always gets SO mad and neither of them wanna deal with him

-Once walked in on Two-bit in an, ahem, compromising position, and hasn’t been the same since

-He used to socially drink pretty often but stopped when he realised how much drunk him really wanted to kiss Steve on the mouth

-Started drinking socially again when sober him kissed Steve on the mouth and the world didn’t end

-He draws faces on the eggs in the fridge, partially because he just finds it fun, but also because it always gets Darry to smile and shake his head fondly, and there isn’t enough that makes Darry smile these days

-Darry made him promise when he first started work full-time that he’d keep half his pay check for himself. He promised, but only ever keeps about 10% of what he makes as spending money. He’s determined to make sure neither Darry nor Ponyboy ever find out

-Wishes he was a bit more like either of his brothers, because even though he loves them more than anything, they have more in common with each other than they willl ever have with him and sometimes he feels like the odd man out in his own family, especially now his mom and dad are gone

-Had asthma as a kid but he grew out of it by the time he turned 10

[judysxnd]

Hi beautiful

Can you please write a pedro×reader where they are fighting really seriously and suddenly kisses the reader and things get spicy...

And acn you please write it long?

I am in this phase where I see Pedro has a dad. So I’m going to write the plot I have in mind, that thank god corresponds to this.

I hope it was long enough! I don’t think I have ever written something that long!

Warnings: swearing, hand job, unprotected sex

Minors DNI

——————————————————————————

Having a personal life in the middle of a social career is not easy. Even difficult. Whatever you do, whatever you say, you are always watched, everything gets twisted, and it’s just.. drama. That’s why you and Pedro, when you finally started dating, decided to stay private. And that’s still been going on after all these years.

Let’s settle everything. You’ve been dating Pedro for four years. You met through a mutual friend, who was your roommate. You immediately had a good chemistry, but nothing ever happened. No one could deny that there wasn’t any tension, but you both stayed friend for at least a year before something happened.

Neither of you planned that infamous night where everything went down (literally). You had a nice little party at your place, I mean, it was just a few friends. One too many drinks and.. yes. You ended up having sex. One super great night that both of you remembered and liked very much. That’s why you kept doing it. You both decided to become friends with benefits, and it was going on good! Buuuut it only lasted a month. And, much to your surprise, it wasn’t because of you. Pedro caved. If it hadn’t been him, you would have given in shortly after.

So you started dating. And it’s been amazing. You’ve been having the greatest time of your life. You both handle very well the distance, keeping communicating a lot, sometimes visiting each other on either sets. And let’s not forget that you are having the best sex ever. You’re good, he’s good, together you make the best. And it went on. A year. And a second year. Which brings us to some defining moments. Because yes there were two very close.

The first one is Pedro proposing. Two years in the relationship and your love is only growing even more. You are obsessed with each other, you’re literally never felt that before. And Pedro decided to lock this, making it official. You were in Morocco. Pedro loved it so much when he filmed gladiator that he wanted to show you. He had planned everything. He rented a magnificent like little palace for your trip, with this amazing view on the ocean. As he knows you absolutely love sunsets, and arranged a little romantic dinner on the beach, and proposed when the sunset was at its peak.

Unfortunately the fantasy was cut short, you had to go back in reality, and go back to work. Two weeks after coming back, you started to get sick. You had nausea, morning sickness, and you were extremely tired. When you saw it wasn’t going away, you went to see your doctor. Surprise! You’re pregnant. Big news. How to tell Pedro? He proposed two weeks ago, with you careers, the age gap, and the fact that neither of you actually want kids, how could you drop the news?

You decided to be direct. Communication was one of the best thing in your relationship. You could talk about everything, either serious or not. You both said things to each other that neither of you had told before. He was home before you, so it all happened very quick. You didn’t have time to think. When he asked about your doctor’s appointment, you dropped the bomb.

Pedro was very comprehensive but it has been a lot on him. At his age, having a kid, it’s not easy. Even if he’s great and would actually love the idea. But it involved so many things. Both of your careers, the living situation, handling the media parts. And after listing the pros and cons, you made this huge decision.

To your next appointment, you found out you were two months pregnant. The baby’s gender couldn’t be determined yet. It has been a lot of anxiety on the both of you as this was unexpected, but since you decided to keep it, you’ve actually both been pretty excited. Pedro was already thinking about names. But there was one thing you couldn’t stop thinking: the media.

It has been taboo to talk about it actually. You managed to keep it together after two years of dating, only facing some rumors, but nothing more since neither of you ever denied or confirmed anything. You were even playing with it, going out in town with some friends and being very close to some, dodging paparazzi, you were into it. But now it was getting more complicated, you were adding a baby. Since no one knew you were together, how could you pop out one day either pregnant or with a baby in your arms?

You had lots of arguments, but decided to worry about it when the baby was born. So you went awol during your pregnancy. You were posting pictures here and there, some stories; making sure no one could see the rest of your body. And it was fun, all this secrecy.

Month number seven: you couldn’t take it anymore. You wanted to know the gender of the baby. You managed to go for all this time since at every sonogram the baby was turned in a way that you couldn’t see, but it finally happened at your monthly check up. It’s a girl! Oh the look on Pedro’s face. He lit up. Excitement took over.

You decided that you wanted your kid to grow up in the countryside and not closed in between four walls in an apartment, so you started to create and build your own house. Talking about the wolf, baby girl decided to show up two weeks late, and was born at 1:57am on the 31st of July at home. And there she was, Sofia Veronica Y/l/n Pascal. Healthy baby. You’ve both been filled with nothing but happiness. No regrets whatsoever, even when she wakes up at night crying.

Sofia is two years old, currently running in the house with her teddy bear in her arms, probably having some sort of runaway. You’re on the couch, on your phone, scrolling on Instagram. Pedro is in the kitchen drinking his coffee, leaning against the counter, pretending to almost get hit by Sofia when she runs past him. Everything was peaceful, a beautiful sunny day as the house filled with laughter, up until you saw this picture of a famous friend of yours, at Disneyland with their kids. You sighed.

“Pedro” you said slowly turning towards him. He hummed, his eyes following your daughter. “Why don’t we go somewhere with Sofia?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like a park or something” he finally looked at you, sipping from his coffee.

“You know we can’t”

“I know, but maybe this one time we could?” He walked to the counter closer to you.

“Cariño if you want to go with her you can”

“I want to go together, as a family” you sat up, facing him entirely

“We agreed to this” he started to sound dry

“And I’m changing my mind”

“You can’t just do that”

“Why not?” He didn’t say anything “please express yourself, tell me why not” you got up

“We can’t risk it, for her sake” he said pointing to Sofia, now looking at the both of you before starting to run again.

“I dont think there’s anything to risk”

“Really? Really? We’re going into this again?” He started to raise his voice

“Yes. I think we should. Because I think it’s going insane” he scoffed “for fuck sake’s, we’re taking turns going outside with her, and we they see you with her you just pretend she’s your niece or something” he kept shaking his head

“We need to keep her privacy”

“It doesn’t mean we can’t do anything together!” You walked a bit closer to him “Jesus! She’s two years old and we never took her to a fun fair or something!”

“She’s two, she won’t remember anything”

“Oh my fucking god. I cannot believe it.” You lower your voice a bit “it’s not about remembering, it’s about being a fucking family. She needs to see the world, with us, to learn!”

“And what about the paparazzi? Oh no wait you’re right. She’ll learn how to be fucking harassed, having no privacy, being followed at her every movement, being talked about and shamed on the internet”

“Are you scared for her or for yourself?” He stopped and stared at you “that’s what I thought” you said going back to the couch

“Oh don’t twist it, it’s not about me it’s about her”

“Oh no it’s about us, and how you don’t want you career to be over just because I’m twenty years younger than you and that you got a fucking child with me” you sat down on the couch, not facing him anymore. You couldn’t take it anymore. Tears were starting to form under your eyes. You heard Pedro walk to you.

“Are you really thinking that?” He was now standing in front of the couch

“It doesn’t matter that’s how they’re going to see it” you crossed your arms, looking on your left outside.

“That’s not true”

“Then what is it? Why can’t we take a walk outside, the three of us, as a family? We chose to handle our careers and a child. We knew the risks, we can’t just avoid them” you stood up.

“She’s too young for that, maybe when she’s older!” And it went back to where it started, like he didn’t listen.

“So what, in the mean time she stays inside the house until she’s at least 10? So what, she doesn’t go to school? I bet you didn’t even think about-” Pedro stepped closer to you and in a sudden move kissed you, putting both his hands on your face. After a few seconds he pulled away

“Can we just settle down for a minute?” He softly asked. Still processing what just happened, you nodded. He kissed you again, this time more gently. You both gave in, keeping kissing each other more and more passionately by the second, until Sofia screamed. You both turned your heads to look at her. She was standing next to the couch, with a big smile. You both smiled at her, getting calmed just by looking at her.

“Young lady, isn’t it time for your nap?” She shook her head. You looked at your watch. “I think it is!” You started to move but Pedro stopped you.

“I’ll do it, stay here” he kissed your forehead, and chased Sofia who didn’t want to go the bed. Twenty minutes later he was back. “She fell asleep almost right away” he chuckled.

“I’m not surprised, she’s been running around for a while” you were sitting on the couch, and Pedro sat next to you.

“So.. where we were” he said, hand on your thigh, sending a wave of shivers down to your core. But you decided to ignore for now. You were mad, you had a point to make, you couldn’t think about this now.

“We need to do something, like literally, we can’t stay hidden like that”

“I know but I don’t want her to be traumatized or something”

“But maybe nothing will happen?” You looked at each other. “The only time we got very close to them it’s only when we go to restaurants at night. We just.. won’t do that”

“I don’t know..”

“Pedro we need to do it”

“I need to think about it”

“We just did” you were starting to get impatient again

“Y/n”

“Let’s just try!” He didn’t say anything. “Or let’s make an official statement, like we publish something on Instagram or something”

“We need to talk to our publicist first” you sight

“Come on..” you got up “I just want to do something spontaneous for once, don’t you understand?”

“I do! But we knew what we were getting into in the first place!” You sighed, looking at him.

“I don’t even know why we keep arguing honestly” you shook you arms. Pedro just stared at you, then suddenly he got up and kissed you roughly. “Pedro..” you said in between kisses.

“Tomorrow we’ll go out okay?” He said, leaning his head against yours. You were staring at his lips, a little out of breath.

“You sure?”

“Yes” you looked at each other before kissing him more passionately this time. His hands travelled for your face this your waist as he brought you closer to him. “I don’t want to lose you because of some shit”

“You’re not losing me” you said, caressing his face. You kissed him softly. He started to step back towards the couch, pulling you in with him. He sat down on the couch, grabbed your thighs pulling you on top of him. “We’re going to get through this you know, we just need to find something that we both agree on” you said

“I know I know” he nodded, his hands going up and down on your thighs. You went for another kiss that ended sloppier and lasted longer. His hands got up on your waist and started to lift your shirt which ended somewhere in the living room, leaving your chest exposed.

Pedro got away from you lips, kissing your jaw, your neck, and ended on your breasts. The feeling of his touch, his lips on you made you shiver. Moans were escaping your mouth and so was Pedro. He was humming against your skin, making vibrations that were turning you on too much. You were growing impatient.

“Pedro please” you begged for more. He pulled away, looking at you, your lips. He took off his shirt and pulled you in for another kiss. The tension was very sensual now. You weren’t feeling the anger anymore. The frustration was gone within seconds. You started to grind on him was you were eager to feel him. Pedro groaned in response.

He pulled you up and laid you down on the couch, taking your shorts and underwear off at the same time. He came back up leaving trails of kisses on your thighs, going left and right, teasing you more. He put his hand down your core and started massaging your clit making you gasp.

“Oh yes” you managed to say, moving your hips to follow the movements of Pedro’s hand between your legs. Your back was arching to the many feelings you were having. He shifter his hand, entering one then two fingers you, leaving his thumb to move on your clitoris. “Pedro” It wasn’t enough, you wanted more, you wanted feel him inside you. But it was hard to talk.

“Talk to me” he said kissing your stomach

“I-I want you”

“I’m right here” you chuckled “tell me what you want” he said accelerating his movements.

“You- I- oh my god” he was now kissing your neck again. Your hands were in his hair. “I want you inside me”

“That’s my girl” he said now looking at you, smirking. You pulled him in for a languorous kiss, as your hands were now trying to pull his pants and boxers down, squeezing is ass at the same time. You earned a moan from him. He pulled away as your orgasm was rising.

You watched him move, sit down on the couch then take his clothes off, before coming back closer to you. He kissed you again as he pressed himself against you, feeling his cock against your heated clit. You were both moaning in the kiss. You pushed him away a bit, lowering your hand to his cock and started to tease him a bit, getting him worked up too.

He quickly couldn’t take it, so he grabbed your hand and moved it away as he centered himself to your entrance and slowly and surely entered you. He started with a slow pace, taking his time. His right hand went back to your clit as he started go a little bit faster. You were trying to contain your screams as you were reaching your climax, but you couldn’t anymore. It was so intense that none of you could form any sentences. He started to slow down a bit, before pulling out and coming on your stomach, his hand still working on you to get you to your orgasm.

Both panting, you took your right hand to your stomach and with one finger you wiped his cum before licking everything. Pedro watched you very closely. Still hovering over you, he kissed you passionately, then he kissed your forehead before leaning on top of you. You were caressing his hair and back softly while his hands we were resting on your waist.

“I love you so much” he said, breaking the silent

“I love you more”

You laid there for a while just resting, until Sofia woke up. Pedro went to get her, change her and everything. When he came back in the living room again, he was holding a bag in his hand.

“What is this for?” You asked as you put your phone away

“Spontaneity” you frowned, confused

“Care to explain?”

“There’s a small park not far from here, I thought that.. maybe we could go?”

“Are you serious?” You stood up

“Yes. It’s small but-”

“No it’s great! Let’s start small!” You were excited. You hugged him tight. “Thank you so much” he kissed your head, then you both left to the park with your daughter.

[multific]

Pregnancy with Captain John Price Headcanons

John Price x Reader

His reaction would be the same whether it was planned or not

He would be absolutely shocked but happy

There would be a smile on his face all the time

He would scare the others with it though

They wouldn't understand why their Captain is smiling all the time

So, it worried them at first

But then you two would share the news and they would be delighted

John would 1000% be a protective husband

Overprotective at times

Somehow, even with the ultrasound photos and many doctor appointments, it only became real for him when he started to see your stomach showing

The moment came during a morning as you were looking at yourself in the mirror, looking from the side and affectionately rubbing your hand along your skin

You looked like a Goddess

And at that moment, he fell in love with you even harder

You would find him reading books about babies

He would try and hide them but of course you are a smart woman

It got to a point where you would leave out books for him to read

Neither of you mentioned anything about it

John would go on less missions as your due date would near

He wanted to be home, and help you

He would single-handedly prepare the nursery

Correction, he would try to make the nursery all by himself, would fail and as the guys to help

Everyone would come, even Simon to help the Captain

You two are having a little girl

And you can just imagine John and the others in little tiaras around a small table pretending to drink tea

Because that is what kind of men they are, supportive and a true team

The little girl would have everyone, including you, wrapped around her tiny little fingers, even if she still lived inside you

John would be so affectionate

He would get you anything you want

Food at weird times of the day? Sure

Weird food that makes him gag? Of course

Foot massage while you eat said weird food? Without a doubt

John would talk to his unborn baby every day

"Hi, Sweetheart, this is your dad here, I cannot wait to meet you."

"Sweetpea, I have a very important mission to go on, but I promise I'll be back as soon as possible."

"Sweetie, I'm home, you didn't cause trouble to your mommy now, did you?"

John is the best husband

He not only loves you dearly but he would put up with anything you say or do

Never getting angry or annoyed at you

He knows the amount of stress carrying a child puts on a woman

And he also has been in many interrogations and training so he would know what to do in tense situations 

"John? Did you eat the last bucket of ice cream?" "Yes, I was about to head out and buy some more, what else do you need?" car keys already in his hands

"John? Why is it soo hot in this house?" "I already turned the AC on for you, Love."

"John! I am so fat! Look at me!" "No, Sweetheart, you are the most beautiful woman I have even seen. Here, I'm making Nutella cupcakes for you."

Anything you throw at him, he would have at least five answers ready

Cuddling with you and the baby is essential

Feeling the baby move or kick is his favourite

He would ask his little girl to do it again and again

During birth, John makes sure you are comfortable and he stays with you through every second

He would have the best doctors ready and the biggest room, where it is only the two of you, so you can be as comfortable as you want to be

He would hold your hand and never let go

Telling you how amazing you are

"You are a Goddess, My Love." "You are doing so well." "It is time for us to meet our little girl."

Overall, John is too perfect

After the birth, he would, of course, let you hold her, knowing, soon he will be able to do the same

"She is perfect, My Love." he would say as he watches you

When he hold her for the first time, he cries

Something you two will never ever mention

Then, as the others would come with their gifts, looking at the smallest little girl, they all felt like proud uncles

Taglist: imreadinggoaway @fleursirvart​​ @v-2bucky ehsebastiancrunch-time-sports  @pxstelrainbow ablogbypeteparker liamssmilersmexylemony @greenarrowhead feelingsareharddd @thisismysecrethappyplace @sincerelyfan @theoneanna @aestheticsandmarvel @rororo06 @castellandiangelo @avengers-r-us @destynelseclipsa   @spilledinkindumpster celebsimagine @capsiclesdoll snoopy3000 @firstangeldragonranch @puknow @crazzyter  @alwayshave-faith @soleil-dor @alex12948 scream-kiwi79  @lxdyred  @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl​ @liveforkarljacobs @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek​​ @paola-carter​​ @stunkbiggu

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

             DO NOT REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS

[mysadcorner]

Hello! Just wanted to start by saying thanks for your amazing writing and sharing with all of us! If it’s not too much trouble, could I request headcanons for Jason Todd with a significant other who has chronic pain? Personally I’ve got endometriosis (it’s a rude little thing) and that causes quite bad pain, so I’m being a bit self indulgent here. Thank you very much if you manage to get around to it! ♥️

Jason Todd x ChronicPain!Reader Headcanons

-Credit to the gifs owner - Please be specific about characters wanted in headcanons -

Masterlist Navigation

I personally suffer from CFS/ME which also comes with frequent pain all across my body (as well as many other symptoms) so it was nice to get a request like this. Thank you! :)

Jason's first reaction to you having chronic pain would be instant sympathy, but he wouldn't want you to think that he feels any less of you. Jason just wants you to know that he wants to help as best as he can while also feeling bad about the situation you're in but can't change.

He would do his best to try to figure out what you need, whether that be lifestyle changes that you may need help with or just simple things that you go through everyday. He doesn't mind helping you out and will be more than happy to provide the things you need once he's figured out what would help you best.

He would also accommodate to you through things in his own life just because he cares about you so much, and he'd never want you to feel bad about these changes as he's doing them willingly. He would even change his schedule around completely for you if you needed it, just so that he can be with you during specific times that your chronic pain may take place, or need help getting places due to the pain causing you issues.

Jason and his family know a lot of people, especially those who are well qualified. Because of this he'll go out of his way to ask around as to what may help you even more, or asking about certain methods that could make things easier for you, and he'd prefer to do this than just listen to your doctor without looking any further for information as even he knows that a single doctor can be dismissive over problems or simply wrong about things a lot of the time.

If your chronic pain was impacting you a lot more than usual he'll take some time or even a few weeks off from his everyday activities so that he can look after you full-time until you're able to do some things on your own again, although he may need to leave during the night so that he can continue protecting Gotham. He doesn't mind doing this and would prefer if you're honest about when you're struggling so that he can make sure you're as well as you can be in the long-term.

If you're ever feeling anxious, or just simply want company, to appointments, then Jason will go with you and will be more than happy to do so. Not only does this make you both feel better about whatever nerves you're having, but seeing how your appointments go gives him a better idea of how your condition works and affects you in depth which then enables him to aid you better or give you reassurance about certain things.

Jason is distraught on the inside when he sees you suffering from your chronic pain, but he'll try his best to not let you see. He'll spend his time trying to look strong for you so that neither of you get emotional about it and you continue to feel supported by him. He will open up to you about how he was feeling in that moment a while later once the pain has decreased (if it does) so that he's still being honest with you but strong in the moments you really need him.

Constantly being stocked up so he can look after you - Jason is constantly checking how stocked up he is on pain medication for you, mainly since he regularly buys some for himself just in case he's ever injured while out as Red Hood. This makes things a lot easier for you since they're always ready to be used and you don't need to worry about not being able to go out and get it for yourself when you're pain is severe. Plus, this makes him calmer knowing that if he's ever not there you have something to minimise the pain by yourself rather than suffering until he's able to help if you feel comfortable letting him.

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Closer

Summary: Your due date is close and you finally give in and reach out to Frankie to talk over things. But before the talk can happen you run into him. And his son.

Pairing: Frankie Morales x fem. Reader; Marcus Pike x fem. Reader

Wordcount: 1.6k

Warnings: unplanned pregnancy, fluff, angst, implied complications at childbirth, implied character death

A/N: so. yeah. this escalated quickly.

Part of the (Ir)replaceable series

You were getting closer and closer to your due date. And by closer you meant next week.

You, for some reason, hadn’t run into Frankie anymore. And you didn’t know how to feel about it. On one hand you were happy, because he seemed to respect your wishes, on the other hand… 

It was his child you were carrying. Yes, he hurt you, more than you would ever wish to anyone, but he was the father of your child. Your little girl.

God, you wished you could just handle this like every other break up and move on. But you would have to see him at some point. If he chose to have a relationship with this child, your child, that was. You didn’t even know if he told the truth about having told his wife. 

“Sweetheart?” you turned your head, a smile sneaking to your face as you heard footsteps. 

“I’m here,” you called out, your smile widening when you saw Marcus walk on the patio. 

He kissed your forehead before he sat down next to you, his arm coming to rest around your shoulder.

Marcus had turned out to be your biggest surprise. Again.

Yes, he had come home with you, and yes he continued to be a big support for you but there was a voice deep inside in your head that told you every single day that he would leave. 

But it’s been months and Marcus had been to every single doctor's appointment with you. He had gone to birthing classes with you. He had been your rock. 

But you both decided that you would take it slow. 

Not only because you both had been burned in the past, but because you were a hormonal mess and Marcus was scared you would hate him once you had given birth and your hormones were back to normal. 

And while you wanted to laugh as he told you about this fear, you ended up kissing him softly and agreeing to wait. 

Which was why even though you were sleeping in the same bed, you haven’t had sex yet. Much to your (and his) frustration. 

“You really wanna go to the store? I could get what we need,” he asked. 

You smiled, taking his hand. 

“Might be the last time we can go alone to the store together for a while,” you hummed and he smiled. You both rested your hands on your belly that looked like it was ready to burst. 

You felt so fucking huge, you were ready for this pregnancy to be over. 

Lately you had caught yourself wishing it wasn’t Frankie’s baby, but Marcus’. A thought you felt guilty about. But then you had talked to your therapist about it (oh yes, you had started therapy to work though all of those feelings and issues) and they had told you that it was normal for you to imagine this with how you had been hurt by the biological father. 

Marcus had practically moved in with you. He still had his apartment and he still had his job back in Washington. But three weeks ago he had officially asked to transfer to the office here which was only a formality. The FBI was glad to have him here. 

“I can’t believe you’re due next week,” he said.

“Me neither,” you sighed. 

“Have you… Have you thought about reaching out to him?” Marcus asked hesitantly. 

“Honestly?” you asked. He nodded. 

“I think about reaching out every single day. I… Even though he hurt me, he has the right to see his daughter. And I have to…. I have to come to terms with seeing him. If he wants to see his child that is.”

Marcus kissed your temple. 

“Maybe ask him to come over to talk? I could go so you could talk about everything and…” you shook your head. 

“I want you there when I talk to him. You are going to be part of her life too. You will most likely spend more time with her than he will. You… I can’t do this without you,” you said. Marcus squeezed your hand. 

“Tell me when and I’ll be there.”

“Which one?” Marcus held up two different brands of mint chocolate chip ice cream and you pursed your lips in thought. 

“Both?” you said after a while and he chuckled. 

You had texted Frankie, left your phone at home and then went to the store with Marcus. It was almost 10pm and the store was pretty empty. Only a couple of people walking around. You were pushing the cart, which was mostly filled with snacks you had been craving throughout your pregnancy. 

Marcus came over, his hand resting on your back after he put the ice cream into your cart. You grinned up at him and he kissed you, his other hand resting on your belly. 

He was obsessed with your belly, talking to your little girl all the time, telling her goodnight stories when he thought you were already asleep. 

You wondered if Frankie would have been like that too. Was he excited to be a father? And to two children at once? 

You wondered how his wife took the whole affair and second baby thing. You didn’t know if he told the truth when he told you he had confessed everything to his wife. 

You blinked your eyes, getting rid of the thoughts as you pushed the cart forward into the next aisle. 

And suddenly he was there, his eyes already on you when you stopped in your tracks. 

You could hear Marcus say something, but it was like you were under water as you looked at him. But it wasn’t him that had your attention, it was the child strapped to his chest. You only got out of your trace when you felt Marcus hand on top of yours, your knuckles white from the way you were squeezing the shopping cart. 

You felt the familiar panic inside of you building as you looked at Frankie. 

“Sweetheart, look at me,” Marcus tilted your head towards him and you blinked up at him. 

“Do you want to leave?” he asked quietly. You gulped, letting go of the shopping cart to let him guide your hands to his chest. He breathed with you, in and out until you felt the fog in your brain disappear.

“Do you want to leave?” he asked again, his eyes full of concern. His eyes left yours only briefly to look behind you before they were on you again. It was forever before you shook your head. 

“Are you sure?” he asked again, checking in with you. You nodded, taking a deep breath before you turned around again, finding Frankie still at the spot you had last seen him. 

Marcus' hand on your back was grounding you as you slowly made your way down the aisle. 

You were tired of running. 

And until you moved to another city (which was a whole other conversation you would have with Marcus at some point) you did not want to walk around town, scared you would run into the man who broke your heart. 

“Hey,” Frankie said as you stopped next to him. 

He looked…. He looked miserable. His eyes sad and exhausted. And you hated the part of yourself that was happy about it. 

“Hey,” you said back, your eyes wandering down to the sleeping baby against his chest. 

It looked so tiny against him as it slept peacefully, the squishy cheek resting on his chest. 

“Uhm… Hi. I’m…. I’m Frankie,” you watched him reach out his hand towards Marcus, who shook it. 

“Marcus Pike,” he said with a nod, before his hand came to rest on your back again. 

“How… How are you?” Frankie asked and you shrugged. 

“Almost there. My due date is next week so… Any day now,” you said and he nodded. 

“I… I got your text. I wanna talk. I just….” he ran a hand through his hair. 

“I have to bring him, if that’s okay,” he gestured down to the sleeping child. 

“What’s his name?” you asked softly. 

“Mateo,” Frankie said with a small smile as he looked down. 

“It’s okay to bring him, but why? Can’t you leave him with… with your wife?” you asked. Frankie looked briefly at Marcus before he looked at you before he shook his head. 

“She’s… He came early, got out of the hospital only yesterday and there were complications during the delivery and…” Frankie shook his head, clearing his throat. 

“I can’t leave him,” he said, looking at you. 

You looked up at Marcus, whose hand ran around your back, resting on your hip, squeezing you softly. 

“Come over for lunch tomorrow?” you began to speak. Marcus nodded at you and you looked at Frankie. 

He nodded at you. 

“Okay. We’re… We’re home all day. Just come over around lunchtime. So… So we can talk,” you said. 

“I’d… I’d like that,” he nodded. Frankie looked down at Matteo just as he blinked his eyes open. You smiled softly. He was really cute. 

“See you tomorrow then,” you said and Frankie looked at you. 

“See you tomorrow,” he whispered before he slowly pushed his cart forward and walked away. 

You stood there for a couple of moments gathering your thoughts before you looked up at Marcus. 

“Do you think…?” you whispered. He sighed. 

“It sounded like it….”

Marcus pulled you against his chest, kissing your forehead as tears sprung to your eyes. 

“Let’s go home,” you whispered. He nodded, taking your hand, leaning down to kiss you softly.

He didn’t let go of your hand until you went to bed and you fell asleep in his arms. Safe. 

[fqbang]

To You | fabang au

“You , I always need you”

One fine morning Quinn realized she’s not waking up to a man beside her, her husband is not on the bed. Neither anywhere in their room. She scrolled through her phone to check her messages and emails, if there were any, and of course there were! A LOT actually. Mostly about her clients asking for updates on their case, advices, and some colleagues requesting to help with any of her trial cases. She ignored those. She went straight to her imessage to message her husband Mike.

“Hello Doctor Chang are you there? I think you might’ve forgot that you got a wife here back at your home. So I’m texting as a gentle reminder. Text me back ASAP. worried about you” —SENT.

Not even a minute after it was sent, her phone buzz a notification from him.

“Good Morning Atty. Fabray! I actually did not forget about my wife at all and I, in fact, did sneak in last night to steal some sleep but then I was paged and needed to come back at the hospital even before you wake up. Sorry for not texting sooner. Good luck on your hearing appointment today.”

Oh Quinn sweared she didn’t care about the hearing of one of her biggest clients until Mike brought it up and she was forced to get up of bed and started preparing for it.

An hour or so has passed, Quinn is done with all her morning rituals when an email arrived in her inbox informing her that today’s hearing was cancelled because the client just fired her for some unknown reason.

“Oh great after all of our preparations for this case, I was fired just like that” she said to herself frustrated and angered.

A text from Mike arrived once again.

“Hello Atty! Has the hearing started yet? Best of luck, not that you need it but still ! Text me back whenever you can. I love you”

A smile replaced her furrowed eyebrows when she read the text from her husband. ‘I miss him’ she thought to herself.

“Only the rough wind lingers around me so I always need you.”

“How many hours before you could actually come back home to me, Dr?”

“5 more hours :)”

“Too long!!!”

“Sorry, i’ll make it up to you, Atty. How’s the hearing going?”

“Meh it’s boring.”

“Hmm would still wanna know how’s it going but I gtg. I bet it’s going so well though!! Anyways, Break time’s over, i’ll ttyl :)”

“And what if isn’t?” she sent it not waiting for any response because she knows Mike is back to his job where phone is never allowed.

“Then next time it will. I still love you don’t worry too much about your cases you know it gets better”

“Hey, even if you don’t say anything, You’re the only one that understands me.”

With a slightly heavy heart she packed her stuff and drive to Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital where her husband is currently working. Her heads thoughtless all she ever wanted was a hug— a warm, very long comforting hug from her husband. The sun hasn’t shine for too long yet as the day was just starting but for Quinn it felt like it’s the end of the very draining day at work and she needs someone who she could vent out to. Someone who would just listen and understand her. She’s clearly sad because she felt all her efforts go to waste after she was suddenly fired.

“Today I’ll go to your arms too”

“hello is Dr. Mike Chang in here?” I asked the nurse at the lobby.

“Oh he is. Will you be having a follow up check up with him? May I have your name so I could search for your records, Ma’am?” the nurse politely responded.

“No, actually I am not. I am—“

“Hey nurse Lizelle I need the charts for the patient in room-“

“Oh great timing Dr. Chang someone’s looking out for you” pointing at Quinn “ and of course I’ll grab the charts of Riley from Room 2”

Quinn slowly turned his gaze on him and he’s just expecting a normal patient who might need his help. Surprise was very evident on his face when their eyes met.

“Quinn what are you doing here?” His voice sounded a bit excited but more worried.

“Are you hurt?” He questioned once more.

“No, but I need something from you.” sadness on her eyes.

“A hug if I may?” She extended both her arms asking for a hug.

And so the doctor immediately pulled her for a hug.

“Sorry nurse liezel for this little pda. A little favor can you page me when some urgent matters occurred? I’ll be back later.” He ordered to the nurse who’s smiling when she saw the two hugging.

I’m grateful to you, who greets me whenever I open the door.

“What happened my love?” Mike asked Quinn who’s now happily eating her lunch.

“Life sucks!” She yelled with her mouth full of salad. “But at least this salad is delicious!” She added.

“Okay…” Mike just let her be.

“I was fired…” her voice turned serious.

“It’s my first time to be fired. And by a very important client too” she felt a lump forming on her throat “It’s not a very good feeling. I’m sorry I had to bother you like this but-"

“You didn’t bother anyone here. Actually you came in perfect time.”

“What do you mean?”

“ I miss your voice.”

“Okay I guess this is from your lack of sleep but you’re not making any sense right now.”

“There’s this patient I talked to earlier. She’s turning 7 undergoing a chemotherapy and she wants to meet a fairy who would sing her ‘seven by taylor swift. Do you think you could do her some favor?”

You've given me a piece of happiness

How did Quinn get so happy in an instant? Easy, Mike knows her.

She dressed up as a fairy and surprised Riley, the kid who’s battling cancer and sang to her “Seven”

“Thank you Dr. Chang! I don’t know how did you find a fairy but it’s magical in here now!” The kid exclaimed in excitement

“You’re welcome Riley” Mike replied and gave her a hug.

The doctor and the ‘fairy’ left the room when Riley fell into slumber.

“Thank you Dr. Chang. I don’t know how you did it, but you definitely cheered me up today.”

“Out of all the things I’ve achieved today, making you happy was the most fulfilling.”

“I love you, Mike”

“You too, Atty!”

Hi what do you think of this? My favorite headcanon today is Dr. Mike x Atty. Quinn so here it goes lol

Idk if it’s confusing for anyone but the random “” in between scenes are lyrics of the song “To You” that best describes each scenarios so i added :)

[notveryshrugemoji]

lol, the last 24 hours have been wild and this is exactly the place I want to document it. Love processing my thoughts and feelings here hahaha

Yesterday I was working and started feeling, off. Nothing major, just didn’t feel good. I was clammy, my heart was racing, my chest and upper back between my shoulder blades felt tight. At times I felt like I needed to gasp or take a big breath in to feel like I was filling my lungs? Does that make sense?! So I took my blood pressure 3 times, both arms. Numbers: 145/99, 145/105, 140/95 with my HR 95-105 each reading.

Naturally, I gaslit myself into thinking I was having an asthma attack. So I called my mom and she was like “lol maybe call the nurse hotline about that” so I did and THEY were like “BITCH GO TO THE HOSPITAL” so I left work and went to the hospital lol. (Important to note here: I have had unexplained high BP since I was a teenager that is managed with meds).

ER saw me basically immediately due to the chest pain but they didn’t have a bed for me so I was just kinda sitting in a chair for a while lol. They did blood work, blood cultures, an X-ray of my chest and an ecg. Basically all of it came back clear. I saw a Student Dr first and she listened to my chest and then left pretty abruptly afterword, both drs came back and listened, NODDED TO EACH OTHER and confirmed “yes what you heard is correct”. Like okay, pls say more immediately, thanks! They ask me if I’ve ever been diagnosed with a heart murmur (no), then tell me they hear a murmur and want an ekg done (booked for Monday). And then they SENT ME HOME lol. Chest pain, elevated BP, etc. still happening. They were very thorough, i just kind of feel like I wasn’t given a real plan for the next couple of days? The symptoms are still there, so like do I go back if they get worse? How much worse does it need to get? This is partially my fault for not pushing harder to get those answers but I don’t think they really had anything at that point, realistically.

So I slept a couple of hours last night and woke up early today feeling the same way. I called my GP’s office and booked an appointment for Monday and let them know what happened yesterday. They said he’ll likely call me this evening bc he’s on call at the hospital. I went and got a couple of groceries, exhaustinggggg. I had to sit on my bottom stair when I got home and catch my breath lol. So things are basically the same as yesterday EXCEPT I can’t help but feel like “I don’t feel good” - like I feel like I have a cold. And then I’m thinking, what if it’s COVID? Im assuming my bloodwork didn’t show any red flags and that’s why they didn’t test. I asked my friend to grab me a couple of rapid tests just for shits though. More info is good at this point.

A lot of thoughts, top of the list is that I don’t think I have asthma and neither does the er doctor. I told him I almost didn’t go to the hospital bc I felt like I was overreacting about an asthma attack - because this is what an asthma attack feels like, right? And the answer is nooo, so have I just had an undiagnosed heart murmur for this long? It feels like that’s impossible hahahaha I have so much shit wrong with me surely someone would have heard it by now.

Anyway, I’m playing the new h*gwarts game on switch and gonna sleep as much as possible today. Eat, then sleep.

[grace-lost-in-space]

A really, really awful update.

Remember how I said my social worker AND my mom got reported to the state? Today someone was knocking on my door. It was my social worker. I pointed to the porch and she said “Grace why can’t I come in? Are you mad at me?” I nodded “yes”.

To make this update as short as possible:

She lied. She first tried to tell me she did not call my doctors and tell them my mom is not mean to me. She said “Grace I don’t know what you’re talking about.” It was the worst lie I have ever heard anyone attempt. She knew she was lying. And why would she ask “are you mad at me” as soon as I opened the door? And not only that but I told her that CB and the nurse and one of my doctors and a hospital social worker AND my primary doctor TOLD ME she called them. They knew her name. So then she knew she was caught.

And of course because she is trying to save herself, she said “you have told on your mom so many times that I am going to have to talk to her to ask her if this is true.” WHAT? She knows it is true. And she knows that would make all of this worse. She was trying to intimidate me.

Then I called CB because I wanted her to be mean to the social worker and hear what she was saying and doing.

So then finally CB answers and the social worker says “she won’t let me in her house. We are outside and it’s below zero. She’s mad at me.” And CB said “That’s fair enough, I think.” So then the social worker got even more mad and she told CB that the doctors reported her to the state for not doing her job. They also wrote that anytime she interviews me, a therapist or CB need to be present. Neither one was today. CB was on the phone only because I called her. Then they started talking about me and about the report and that is when the meltdown started. They talked about how my brain is a lot younger than my age and how the doctors wrote that in their report and they wrote that I need a guardian. Then they both talked about my mom and about me and then the social worker said “she doesn’t even have a bruise on her.” So CB said “well the doctor didn’t imagine it. This is Tuesday. She had a bruise last Thursday that was visible.” So then the social worker held up her phone and said “I’m taking pictures of her” and as soon as she said that, all I could think of was when I was sexually abused (and other things) and they took pictures of me without asking. Then I started crying and she said “Grace stop moving. I’m taking pictures” and then I started crying and I blocked my ears and I screamed for as long as I could at one time then I took a breath and screamed again. Then she started taking a video. Then she started taunting me. She said “I’m going to talk to your mom” and I screamed even louder because I was trying to block her out. I closed my eyes and she just kept talking and threatening.

And then I was exhausted so I laid over on her lap with my ears still plugged and I cried. My oxygen cannula was tangled in my hair. I could not stop crying. She was the last person I wanted to look to for comfort but I was desperate and melting down. So I took her hand and put it over my face because for some reason that has always calmed me down my whole life. My grandma would put her hand on the side of my face to help me calm down. And then it just slowly became a thing. So today it was almost instinctual. And she was STILL videoing me. And then I asked her “please help me get calm”. And she pulled her hand away and shoved me off of her and said “Get off me, Grace. I have to go.” And I was crying. All because of her, mind you. And she got up and left.

I had a therapy appointment so I left early and when I got there, I was obviously distraught. The receptionist said “Grace, what’s wrong?” And I went straight under the desk. So then she took me to a room where we both sat on the floor and I laid on her and put her hand on the side of my face. I was finally starting to calm down when they got my therapist and she took me to her office.

My therapist is really mad. Really, really mad. My old social worker from child services is also really mad and she told me to send an email to the boss of my social worker because this is ridiculous. The hospital told my child services worker what my social worker did and they also told CB so my social worker lying only hurts her more. My child services worker told me to tell the supervisor everything including what my social worker did today with recording me and lying and taking pictures.

I cannot believe this is happening.

I do not know what to do.

The system is so broken.

[autisticsociologymajor]

American Healthcare Summed Up:

In the past week, my doctors have done the following….

Forgot to order my MRI from my last appointment because they “forgot what it was for,” and instead of reaching out to ask, they just……. Didn’t order it…….

Then I paid $150 for an MRI (which would’ve cost somewhere in the thousands w/o insurance) only to find out THEY ORDERED IT FOR THE WRONG PART OF MY BACK!!!!!!!

Why did I need an MRI? Because the last MRI I had saw that my spinal chord is being pressed on by b o n e, and the doctor told me it’s “not a big deal,” even though it causes me debilitating pain. Spinal chord issues are typically something to take seriously. Are they not? Guess not.

I’d have to pay another $150 in order to get the correct MRI images done. There’s no refund. No free MRI for a doctors screw up. Nothing. They fcked up, and I, the patient, have to pay for it.

They forgot to call me for my telehealth appointment. Straight up. 100% just did not fkn call me.

I called them an hour past my appointment time, knowing my doc typically runs late. The front desk first tried telling me about my $7 unpaid balance, as if to insinuate I wasn’t being called because i owe them $7. I said I’d pay it later today & then suddenly their excuse was “well the doctor is running late.”

My appointment was at 10am. I called at 11am & had that conversation. So 12pm comes, then 1pm, 2pm….. nothing. I call again. I get sent to voicemail. I leave a voicemail. And I get no response. Nothing at all. Whatsoever.

I then send a message in the patient portal, knowing they’ll try to charge me $75 for a missed appointment for an appointment THEY MISSED, in order to get something in writing saying I was the one who was never called.

I didn’t get a response until 11pm…. From somebody who just decided to make me an 8am appointment for the next day without even asking if I was available or if I wanted one. They also scheduled me with a provider I’ve never seen, who is also a man, again, without asking and without being sensitive to literally anything at all.

AND THEN I get a message from SOMEONE ELSE at the doctors office at 7am the next day telling me “the doctor tried calling but couldn’t get ahold of you.” BULL. SH!T. WTF.

I had zero missed calls. I specifically made myself available. My call log has zero incoming calls from anybody in the past week. “She tried calling” WHATEVER. They do this sh!t to cover their own a$$es & to get patients to pay missed appointment fees😤

So whatever. I see the new guy I’ve never met and had no desire to see. And guess what. Guess what.

He tells me I need a drvg test because I’m prescribed ADHD medicine and tells me it’s a “DEA requirement.” It’s not a DEA requirement. Know how I know? Because I had to force them to admit it.

Someone else I know who also takes medication for adhd was told the same thing about the DEA by this doctors office. Neither of us have ever been asked this question in the many years we’ve been taking meds for adhd.

It’s not a DEA requirement to be drvg tested if you’re prescribed adhd meds for adhd. I did research and found nothing before I decided to call them again to ask what they’re talking about. I was apparently not the first person to call and ask.

I asked them specifically where the DEA says they require it and suddenly it was “well it’s not so much of a DEA thing, it’s more an office policy.”

It’s an office policy. It’s not even a law anywhere at all.

It’s NOT EVEN A LAW!!??!??? And they’re going around telling patients it’s a requirement from the literal DEA??? FOR WHAT? WHY? Just say it’s an office policy? Sketchy a$$es. I would’ve been more willing to do it if I wasn’t lied to first thing. Now I don’t think I will at all. I shouldn’t have to either. I’ve been taking these meds for four years. I’m diagnosed with adhd. Wtf?

Then she tried to backtrack herself and said “it will be a law in this state starting in January.” IT WONT BE THOUGH! I RESEARCHED THAT TOO! I FOUND NOTHING! WHAT THE FUCCKKKKKK???????

They also tried charging me $1,000 for an ALLERGY TEST because they put the incorrect information in to send to my insurance company. And then tried to tell me they did nothing wrong. I literally had to argue with them to do it correctly.

[rose--coloredboy]

2021

June:

June 13th:

you’re upset that i got a job without talking to you about it first?? i don’t need your permission

Notes: Every year we've been together you've mentioned that I could stay home and keep up on the house and taking care of the pets, while you worked. It was the ideal situation and I loved it. You've always promised that you'd never hold it against me, but if we needed the extra money, you'd ask me to work. You swore up and down that you'd buy me the things I needed, and that we'd save up and do some fun things. Once we moved back to Baker, stuff got kinda rough and I had to work. First at Cenex, because you weren't getting paid enough. You got a better job in time though and told me a little over a year since I'd started that I could quit because we'd finally "caught up" and could afford for me to stay home. A few months after that, hours got short, and you were offered to go work with your family in North Carolina the first time, and you were seriously considering it. The plan was to leave me here for a few months so you could work and save up and get us a place, so I got a job at the hotel. You got mad at me for getting the job without talking to you first. I'm still my own person, and have my own life, I truly did not think I needed permission

_________________________________________________________

October:

October 30th:

you fucked alexis

    Notes: This one shouldn't even need notes but I wanted to go over some things that I thought would be common sense. You swore up and down you hated her and thought it was the worst idea in the world or her to move in. You kept asking me if I was sure about it, and I told you I was because neither of us were making enough money to meet rent, though you swore we were. If we were my boss wouldn't have had to pay our one and half months of missed rent. Anyway, finally I got it through to you that it'd be alright and we'd be fine. Long story short you left Billings and came back. You weren't even home more than a couple nights. You were home one night. After the first night, I had to go to Billings with my mom to a doctors appointment. I asked if you'd wanted to come with but you wanted to stay home to unpack, I guess. One fucking night I was gone. You fucked her and messaged me like it was no big deal. Somehow in your twisted way of thinking, I guess you thought the reason I was moving her in was to join our relationship??? I don't fucking know. You acted like it was what I wanted. I mentioned a couple years ago about being polyamorous, and your first thought even then was to bring her into it. Which didn't work out. Obviously. When I left you in July, I told you that if you wanted us to work, you'd have to be okay with me being polyam, because I wanted a girlfriend, eventually. You said that was fine as long as I was sure that was what I wanted. So then you go and fuck your ex girlfriend under the impression that her of all people would be a girl I'd ever want to date??? Not to mention that I'm sure you don't even see this situation as you having cheated on me. You'll say it was in the name of mistaking it as a polyam thing, but you'd be wrong. In every polyam relationship, the number one thing that will ever make it work is communication. You make sure every single person in the equation knows what's going on before it happens. You did not. You cheated on me. I never once ever made it clear that I'd ever be comfortable with you having sex with especially Alexis. Sure she said I had joked around with her but one, since when is it ever a good idea to actually think that she's telling the truth about anything? Two, jokes are just that. Jokes. You cheated on me. You don't like me talking about it because apparently it makes you feel like shit? How do you think it makes me feel. I'd have never ever betrayed your trust like you did mine. Never. You get weird when I mention hanging out with Trista, and have made "jokes" that I'm gonna cheat on you with her. I'm not the cheater here. You've got the guilty conscience. She's a woman I dated for no more than a couple weeks. It was never serious. It was never anything more than us holding hands a single time when we went to Miles City together once. She's married. I'm married. I'm loyal, I swore to you I'd be with you and only you, and now after you've cheated, you joke about how I'm gonna do it? Sure. You wonder why things haven't been the same but I can't talk to you about it like any normal human being because every single time I've ever tried to talk to you about anything you throw another unnecessary fit and it turns into yet another fight. I'm done. 

_________________________________________________________

December:

December 6th:

“IM TIRED OF FIXING SHIT” you SCREAM on your way to fix a shower door that you broke 5 minutes prior.

    Notes: Another kind of self explanatory one. You break things, then complain about how you're always fixing shit. Stop taking your anger out by smashing things and throwing things, and you probably wouldn't have this problem.

December 10th: 

    You were gone for work for three days, probably in Terry. You have barely been home for around two hours and the cat is nowhere to be seen. Mind you, like the rest of the pets, he's afraid of you when you get angry. Which you were, so of course he's going to be hard to find. You yelled at me for losing him. You were storming around shouting to me and Alexis saying "One of you FUCKS must have let him out!!" He was found. Hiding. 

    Not too much longer went by before you started freaking out because Kat and/or Zach weren't texting you back about plans you guys had to hang out. You swear they hate you and they're ignoring you. You never took into consideration that they are both human adults with their own lives who do their own things, and probably just got caught up with something. I can't remember now, but I'm almost positive that this specific time, they had fallen asleep and taken a nap. 

    Later that night you bitched at me for not watering your plant. Before you leave town you always tell me that you're going to remind me to water your plants because I don't have the memory to. You know this. Doesn't matter. You forget to tell me, I forget to do it. I had gotten you a Venus Fly Trap for Christmas and you yelled at me and said "don't get me anything you can't take care of." At least I get you things. You're welcome.

December 25th:

we opened gifts at your parents house. couldn’t even act the least bit interested in the gifts i was ecstatic to have gotten. no happy memories. you were annoyed the whole day.

December 30th:

YOU put the spray bottle in the closet, which i was unaware of. You told me to water the plants i told you i couldn’t find it.

“YOURE the only one who moves it.”

“YOU need to get another spray bottle for the dogs.”

“I just don’t know how you could lose something so big!”

you lose more shit in a week than i do in months shut the fuck up. your hats?? those are big? you lose them all the damn time.

Notes: I really just don't even have the energy to summarize these last few ones but you get the point. 

[heavenlyhischier]

never again - john and ana

Almost two weeks have gone by and John and Ana were still not talking. She was back in her own apartment, Hailey coming and going whenever she could, but she was miserable. She regretted breaking up with John the second she hung up the phone, but she was overwhelmed. After her fall and John not answering, she didn't know what else to do.

John was doing no better. He hadn't been playing his best and he rarely did anything other than go to practice or his games. He had no motivation to do anything else, and he wanted so desperately to reach out to Ana, but he was scared. He still felt like he wasn't enough, like she was better without him, but after her doctors appointment he was rethinking everything.

After their win against the Blue's, John was buzzing with confidence and he couldn't stop himself from driving to her apartment. He couldn't stop himself from knocking on her door, ignoring the nauseating knots twisting in his stomach as he waited for her. He wasn't going to let this go on any longer without a fight.

"John," She asks, her hair a mess on top of her head as she looks at him with wide eyes, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry," He started, "For everything. For not being there when you needed me to be. I know nothing is ever going to make that better, but I will do anything to make it up to you. I love you, Anastasia. I love you and I am not letting you go, never again. Unless you tell me you want me to go and you’re done with me."

Ana stood there, speechless as her thoughts ran rampant in her mind. She was hurt, confused, stubborn, yet she was hopeful and every part of her ached for the man in front of her. Her eyes were lined with tears as her hand rested on her stomach, a habit she had developed since she’d grown one, and all she could think about was her daughter.

“I don’t know,” She whispered, dropping her gaze to the ground, “I don’t know, John. I don’t know what to do. I want to forgive you and tell you it’s okay, but it’s not okay. It’s not and i’m scared that it’ll happen again.”

“I know,” John rushes out as he steps forward to cradle her jaw in his hands, “It’s not okay and I know that this is all my fault. I made a mistake and it might be unforgivable, but I want to prove to you that it’ll never happen again. I’ll take the rest of the season off if I have to. I’ll do anything to prove to you that I want all of this.”

“You can’t take the rest of the season off dumbass,” She breathily laughs, “We can’t jump back into anything, okay? We take it slow. Right now, we’re just coparents. We see what happens as it goes.”

While it’s not what John wanted, neither of them really, he knew it was what needed to happen. He damaged something so drastically that it might not even be repairable, but he was going to try. He was going to do everything in his power to prove to Ana that nothing else in the world mattered to him except for their family. No matter how long it took.

[tobiokuns]

— surprise pregnancy with haikyuu boys

summary: you hadn’t planned for this to happen. neither of you had. but it had, and now you had to tell him.

characters: kageyama tobio, miya atsumu, akaashi keiji

tags: angst to fluff, hurt/comfort, some humor, brief mention of abortion, implied body image insecurities, happy ending

— kageyama tobio

you wring your hands as you lean against the doorjamb, anxiously waiting for kageyama to come home. he’d had a long week, you know, but your first appointment with your doctor is on monday, and you think he’d like to be there if possible. at least, you’d put it off long enough.

the click of the lock unlatching and the familiar turn of the knob raises your attention. you feel like you’re going to choke under the pressure, and even seeing his face doesn’t calm you down.

if anything, you’re even more nervous, seeing the sweat on his brow.

“tobio—” you call over to him when he walks through the door, before you lose your nerve, “i’m pregnant.”

there’s a terse silence, even though kageyama just looks confused. your boyfriend blinks once, twice, and scrunches his eyebrows like he always does when he’s thinking hard, and just stares. your heart pounds in your chest.

“...but i just signed onto a new team,” he says, finally.

you make a sound of affirmation. “yeah, i know,” you sigh, smiling tightly, “but we can make it work, right?”

he kinda looks like he does when he’s setting, in deep concentration, kind of unhappy. you wait for him to say something, anything, but the silence stretches on, for so long that you think you’ll have a heart attack.

“my first doctor’s appointment is on monday,” you tell him, trying to nudge him into saying something, “do you want to come with me?”

“i can’t, i have practice,” he blurts out almost automatically, and you nod. of course he does. it’s silent for a while, and then he’s speaking again. “can’t you...” he swallows, looking away, “...not have the baby?”

don’t lose your shit, you tell yourself, don’t lose your shit. you tamp down the growing anger and nod again, making another vague humming noise.

“yeah, i could,” you agree, voice eerily quiet, “but i want the baby, tobio.”

“okay,” he nods, “...do what you want, then.” 

your heart drops. you can’t see his face, not with his bangs covering his eyes, but you stare at him for a while anyway, your own eyes stinging. you silently shuffle back into the house, leaving him standing in the doorway.

it’s awkward when he slips into bed that night. you keep your back to him, but you can almost feel his gaze on the ceiling. you don’t know when he sleeps, or if he ever does. by the time you wake up, he’s wrapped around you, leg thrown over yours, his big hand rubbing over your still flat stomach under your shirt.

he jolts awake as soon as you stir, dropping his lips against your neck and nuzzling you.

“i’m sorry about last night,” he murmurs immediately, and you’re sure he’s pouting. “y-you caught me off guard. i want it. the... the baby. with you.”

you sigh, staring at the wall opposite from you. you think of having to move again, back to japan this time. you thought that would be good for you and kageyama, but his reaction last night...

“are you sure?” you ask, covering his hand with yours, missing some of the bravado you had, “we can...”

“no,” he sounds almost childish, and you smile, wondering how he’ll be as a father, “no, i’m—i’m sure.”

his arms tighten around you. it’s not often that you get to cuddle in the morning with kageyama, not when he’s always going for jogs and volleyball practice. so you lean back, telling yourself that everything will be just fine.

— miya atsumu

“y’know, y/n...” your boyfriend says to you one day, “yer gettin’ kinda... like, fat...”

you whip your head around to stare at him, your cheeks heating with embarrassment. he cowers instinctively, waiting for you to hit him like you usually do, but your arm stops midair before you let it drop. 

you wanted to hide this a little longer, because to be honest, you were scared. scared of his reaction, scared he wouldn’t want you, scared you’d be left alone. but you sigh, knowing you couldn’t anymore, and slump against the couch.

“atsumu...” you lower your voice, and instantly he cowers more.

“i‘m sorry! i didn’t mean it like that!” he yells, hands covering his face, “don’t hit me, i’m beggin—”

“no, atsumu,” you sigh, taking his hands into yours, “listen to me.”

he sees how serious your expression is and quiets down, bowing his head and leaning closer to you. the idiot still probably thinks you’re mad because he called you fat, you think. you would’ve laughed if you didn’t feel like puking at this moment.

“i’m pregnant,” you say, taking a deep breath, “we’re gonna have a baby.”

“hah?” he retorts quickly, “we’re what? no, we’re not.”

you watch as his face changes, and then he’s off again. “no, y/n, ya can’t be pregnant. i can’t be a dad. have ya met me? samu doesn’t even have a kid yet, ‘nd that’s like, the one thing i don’t wanna beat him at and— goddammit, i shoulda used condoms—”

 “atsumu,” you almost scream, the panic bubbling up in your chest, “do you not want to do this with me?”

“but, weren’t ya on the pill or somethin’? how could this happen?” he acts as if he hadn’t heard your question,” y/n, are ya sure it’s min—”

you can’t take it anymore and burst out crying. you don’t even pay attention to the fact that he just accused you of cheating. the stress from the weeks of keeping this to yourself explodes and you sob loudly, louder than atsumu’s panicked rambling.

“shit—” he curses, seeing your tears, and quickly taking your hands into his, “y/n, ’m sorry, i—it’s just—i’m gonna be a horrible dad, ya know? i don’t know if i can do this, it’s like... i’m not very reliable ‘nd ma always said—”

“but,” you sniffle through your tears, “aren’t we doing this together?”

he nods slowly, and then moves to rest his head on your chest. he tentatively puts a hand on your stomach, rubbing his index finger over it as if it were foreign to him.

“yeah,” he agrees quietly, “we’re doing this together.”

— akaashi keiji

you knew akaashi hadn’t wanted a child, not yet at least. you knew that, and yet when he said okay the night you told him you were pregnant, you were naive enough to think that it was actually okay.

he works, all the time, very hard. it only made sense, he had told you he needed to, in order to get to where he wanted to be. but it left you many nights, belly and feet swollen, joints aching, alone on the couch, wondering what you were doing.

did you eat your vitamins? he asks softly every morning without fail. but that was it.

you went to doctor’s appointments alone, you shopped for baby clothes alone, and you stared at the empty four walls of the baby’s room alone. you were too afraid to buy furniture for it: it seemed too permanent, especially when being pregnant seemed like a repressed dream every day.

"keiji, ” you call out to him early one morning, before he can leave for work again, “...let’s not have the baby.”

he doesn’t respond and for a moment you can’t even tell if he heard you. but then he’s whipping his head around, as if he had just realized what you said, and scrambles to kneel at your side.

“what’s wrong?” he places a hand on your belly, right beside yours, like he never had, “are you feeling—”

“you’re never here!” you cry, wincing at your own screech, “i don’t want to do this alone, keiji. i can’t do this alone. the baby started kicking yesterday, you know? and you weren’t there. i didn’t even know what to do. i’m not gonna know what to do. god, we need a crib and a c-changing table, and—”

you stop when he lays his head down on your lap. 

“i’m sorry,” he mumbles faintly, his hot breath seeping through your shirt. the kitchen is silent with your sniffles. you’re so tired, from the pregnancy or everything else, but you tangle your fingers in akaashi’s hair, and it brings you just an ounce of comfort. it’s soft as always, just like it was when you had started dating.

“i’m sorry,” he says again, turning his head to the side to face you, letting your fingers drift over his cheek, “i was taking on more work, to save money for... for the baby. i hadn’t— ...i didn’t realize i was neglecting you, y/n.” 

 you look down, “y-you were what?” 

 “i took on a new author,” he tells you, “and i asked around for some freelance work. i think we’re okay financially, but you never know, so i thought it’d be good to have extra—”

“keiji,” you interrupt, voice scratchy, “were you nervous?” 

“well, yes,” he admits, leaning into your palm, “but that’s no excuse for leaving you all alone. i can drop the freelance, maybe move most of my work back home—” 

you smile, the familiar sound of akaashi overthinking things a buzz in your ears. you brush your thumb over the wrinkles between his eyebrows, tracing the lines on his face, recognizing the way his eyes tighten when he’s serious. he looks up at you. 

“do you want to come to the doctor’s with me on thursday?” you sniffle softly, smiling at him. 

“...yes,” he nods, almost like a reflex, but you can see him thinking again, his stare blanking. you reach down to intertwine your fingers with his, placing them over your belly. the focus returns to his eyes and he looks reassured, finally smiling back at you. 

“yes,” he repeats, “i’ll come with you.”

[s-brant]

Baby Names

(gif: @mishellejones) (SERIES MASTERLIST)

Summary: Y/N gets frustrated while putting the crib for her and JJ’s baby together and finds herself missing her dead brother more than ever.

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Fluff and minor angst.

A/N: Asks and ye shall receive, here’s a little blurb about what happens after Tokens! You don’t really have to read the other parts to enjoy this fic if you don’t want to, but I do recommend it for some backstory. This was slightly inspired by this fic by @cognacdelights, so go give her stuff a read! Let me know if you liked this. Have fun!

Y/N Routledge thought she got over her brother's death long ago.

Though you never truly "get over" losing a loved one, though there will always be a small part of you, however small, that aches for their presence again, she thought she moved past the tragedy to the best of her ability...until last week.

To say that the pregnancy was a surprise would be the understatement of the century. She and JJ were both on the same page about children when their relationship began, and that page was that neither of them wanted them yet. Sure, the idea of it in the future stirred their hearts with fond emotion, but considering that they had yet to graduate high school and barely scraped by on their own, they weren't jumping headfirst into that aspect of adulthood.

They were meticulous about safe sex. They couldn't afford another mouth to feed, she wasn't sure she could handle the emotional trauma of having an abortion, and, underneath it all, he had some reservations about being a father. It wasn't that he didn't envision a future with kids in their relationship, he did, but the topic of fatherhood always took him down a dark path within his mind.

So, she went on birth control once they started dating and they went along with no scares for the next six years as they graduated and started figuring out what the next step for their lives was going to be.

Y/N could get lost thinking about it, honestly, but she tries not to get too swept up in the minor mistake that led to this.

"You, my friend, need to stop moving around in there," she whispers down at her protruding belly with a hand cradling the heavy weight of it, "I'm trying to get your crib set up without JJ yelling at me for not asking for help, and if you don't stop kicking me, I'm not gonna get anything done."

She's sprawled out on the floor in the living room of the Chateau with her legs stretched comfortably in each direction while she hunches over to read the directions of the Ikea furniture. The sugarcoated description makes her want to hunt down the company CEO for sport, because for how "simple and easy!" the construction of it claims to be, she is at her wits end.

The last thing she needed after having her grief over John B's death reignited by their decision to name their kid after him last week was to stress herself out over something as stupid as this, but she won't quit. With how much JJ has been coddling her the further into the pregnancy she gets, she wanted to prove that she could do something for herself.

Whenever she brings in the groceries from the car and goes to lift the bag of dog kibble out of the trunk, he rushes up behind her back and scoops it out of the trunk before she dares to touch it. It always ends with her hollering after him that it's under twenty pounds, the upwards limit of the weight she's allowed to carry according to her doctor, but he refuses to hear any of it.

Inside of her, she feels a sharp sensation of something hitting her right in the ribs in response to her comment, and she groans in frustration. It's as if he did it because he knows she wants it to stop, the feisty little fucker.

"You're definitely your daddy's son, aren't you? It's already enough having one of him, the last thing I need is a JJ clone."

Their three-year-old Rottweiler rescue huffs a sigh from where he lays, frog-legging it, on the floor next to the unboxed crib pieces she can't put together to save her life. His drooping jowls produce a puddle of slobber on the her favorite carpet that is past the point of saving from his constant wear and tear. After a year of having him, she decided to stop trying to prevent him from ruining it. There’s no point.

She smiles at him as she leans forward to read through the directions for the billionth time, saying, "I actually think he'll be a lot like his uncle, but that's just me. If he isn't, I'll feel a little stupid over the name situation."

John Booker Routledge-Maybank.

Hell of a name if you ask her yourself, but for every internal struggle it reopened inside of her, she couldn't help but love it as soon as JJ casually proposed the idea on his way out of the door for work one morning.

Going on without John B has been a learning experience in every aspect. Any time she wanted to turn to him for advice or tell him something about the recent events in her life, she had to walk out back to their dying magnolia tree and sit under the shade to talk to the wind. Then, once the tree finally died and they were forced to cut it down, she took to sitting on its stump and doing it there.

It got easier as time went on, but she can't keep herself from wondering what it'd be like if he didn't die ever since she saw the results on the pregnancy test six months ago. Whenever she does something like going to her OBGYN appointments or, case in point, setting up the crib, she pictures him there.

She can see him here now, petting Bowie's shiny coat until he falls asleep with his head propped onto John B's outstretched legs. He'd be twenty-three years old by now with his life barely starting to blossom to its full potential, yet here they are. Correction, here she is, and he's off somewhere at the bottom of the ocean, already decomposed to the extent that not even his bones can be salvaged anymore.

Her chest sinks in another sigh, and she flips through page after page of the instructions with increasing aggression.

"This crib is so fucking—"

"What are you doing?"

The sound of her yelping in surprise at JJ's voice coming from the door is enough to make him laugh to himself, though his amusement is buried partway by what he's walking in on. He specifically asked her to wait for him to put the crib together, knowing damn well it wouldn't be the easy task she thought it was, but he should've known she'd do it anyway.

She looks over her shoulder with a mixture of guilt and frustration painting her features as she throws her hands up in the air and gestures vaguely to the unassembled crib. Her eyes are shining with the rapid onset of hormone-induced tears.

"I can't put this crib together 'cause the instructions aren't right, all the pieces are labeled wrong, your son won't stop kicking me, and I miss my brother so much right now," she spews the words with no pauses to breathe until the very end, when she stops short to suck down a breath as soon as she gets the last part out.

It leaves JJ standing at the entrance to the house with this stunned expression.

There's no amusement to be found anymore. Once she turned and flashed those wide, teary eyes that never fail to spark an ache in his heart at him, his tired smile vanished and his feet started moving before he could say anything to her.

The floorboards creak beneath his half-laced boots on his way across the room to her. It prompts Bowie to pop his head up from around the side of the coffee table to catch a peek of whoever it is that's approaching his emotionally distraught owner. Upon seeing JJ's familiar face, the dog relaxes back into his lounging position atop the carpet and tracks JJ’s movements until he's seated next to her.

"This is about John B?" he asks.

Her cheeks are flushed in embarrassment at her sudden outburst, and she can't bear to meet his gaze right now. Despite him being her closest friend and husband, she feels as small and vulnerable as she did six years ago when she first learned of her brother's death from Shoupe. Time might as well be shaped in the form of a never-ending circle for them, directing them back to their seventeen-year-old state of mind every time things turn sour.

Y/N finally lifts her hanging head to look over at him after another few seconds and thinks she might crumble at the look on his face. He hates watching her cry.

"I guess," she says through a sniffle, "It's about the crib too, but I've been thinking about it a lot more since we picked the name. Our baby’s gonna grow up never knowing who his uncle was..."

With that, JJ takes it as his cue to pull her closer.

He scoots up behind her and lets his chin rest on the curve bridging her neck and shoulder together as he twines his arms around her body. It's a closeness that's as natural as breathing for him, so natural that he can hardly remember the years before it became normal for them to take part in little moments of intimacy like this. The warmth of their bodies cohabitates in the blurred line distinguishing where she ends and he begins, and he feels her relax, sagging in his embrace in appreciation of his miraculous ability to make her feel better no matter how worked up she is.

One of his hands rests on the swell of her bump in an absentminded effort to calm him too. Even though he isn't consciously thinking of it, he knows that her distress must upset the baby too. The contact steadies her, keeps her grounded to the moment rather than allowing her to slip away into the current of her negative thoughts, and she clings to every word he has to say.

He says, "You and I both know that isn’t true. He's gonna grow up seeing all the pictures you have of John B and ask about him all the time. And we'll tell him all the stories"—there's a pause of contemplation as he recalls a few particularly non-PG memories of his best friend—"Well, maybe not all of them, but you know what I mean."

This draws a soft bout of laughter from deep within her chest that he feels with how her body shakes ever so slightly with it. It seems so wrong to laugh with tears in her eyes but she can't help it. Her emotions have been scattered in every direction since the pregnancy began, and it has only gotten worse the further along she gets.

"If you ever tell him about the kief incident, I'm never giving you a bl—"

His free hand smushes over her mouth before she can say the rest.

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence.”

It's said so frantically, it makes her erupt in laughter hard enough to tickle her abdomen muscles with the aching sensation of it. The vibration of it under his palm makes him drop his hand a second later with the need to hear the beautiful sound. After seeing her cry, it's a welcome shift in mood, even if it's at his expense.

Her head is thrown back on his shoulder, mouth parted into a smile with the gleeful giggling filling the room. His stomach churns with butterflies at the sight of her. Even after all these years, he has the same reaction to her laughter every time. It makes him smile to himself and watch her in quiet reverence. It makes him ache with the same inklings of longing he felt for the first time when he was much younger.

Her laughter begins to die down by the time she can draw enough breath in to murmur a soft, "Sorry, angel," to him and reach down to hold the hand he rests on her belly as consolation for her joke.

They remain this way for another few minutes, tangled up in each other's arms on the floor of the living room with Bowie snoring a few feet away, before he manages to convince her to let him be the one to set up the crib instead. It takes a good five minutes of playful back and forth before she concedes under the condition that he'll let her paint the nursery by herself when the time comes, and that's all it takes for her to abandon the task in favor of finding something to snack on in the fridge.

In her defense, the crib is actually quite difficult to put together.

JJ doesn't consider himself an expert handyman by any means, at least not with anything outside of his area of expertise as an electrician, but he likes to think he knows enough to put together a "no assembly required" Ikea crib without wanting to bang his face against the wall.

In the end, it gets finished by the two of them in the middle of the night over a box of cold leftover pizza from the previous day. It takes them two hours of struggling before they get it fully assembled and placed where they want it in the room that'll soon belong to their son.

He pretends not to notice her sneaking back in to tie John B's old bandana around the wooden railing before they go to bed.

Tag List: @gabiatthedisco, @fangirlvoice, @black-syren, @apparrio, @particularcth, @planetdemon, @idk-ijustworkhere, @krisphann, @astrydis, @k-k0129, @zarahsloves, and @stilesflannels.

[elysianslove]

Please wrote more surrogate fics please . could I request one with SakuAtsu or could you just start a series on these. If you'd me comfortable with that. That on IwaOi surrogate fic brought me so much joy. I can't even describe it.

oh my goodness i’d love to!!! it makes me so happy knowing you liked it cause like,,, idk why it’s just special to me :) also im so glad you asked for sakuatsu bc these two ships are basically my favorite jhfgbsj. and yesyes i’d love to have a mini series with like little scenarios of each ship <333

this was insanely long. like insanely. 

content warning; artificial insemination, pregnancy, haikyuu manga spoilers, gay people being happy idk 

being iwaoi’s surrogate 

BEING SAKUATSU’S SURROGATE 

↬ it took forever to even get them together, so with a duo as indecisive as them, it’s imaginable how long the decision to raise a child together took. it took a long, long while for that transition from enemies to lovers to be final, and even then, they hadn’t realized how serious their relationship was until they were off getting married and then suddenly wanting a child? 

↬ it was something atsumu brought up out of the blue, just casually as they sat side by side on the couch. “wouldn’t it be nice if we raised a child together?” and it stuck with sakusa ever since. he didn’t know why he was obsessively thinking about it as much, but it’s all he could think about. literally. anytime he so much as thought about atsumu with a child, and a child of their own too, his stomach did a thousand and one flips. sakusa was never the biggest fan of children, and he knew that neither was atsumu. but, this would be different, wouldn’t it? Still, he tried to remind himself of the cons; they were pro-athletes, they didn’t have time, they didn’t understand the weight of the responsibility, were they even ready for something like that? somedays it was too tiring to take care of themselves, of each other. were they ready to be responsible for a whole life, someone dependent entirely on them? it seemed too— unrealistic. like something he could only hope to dream about, and just dream about.

↬ until he thought of atsumu with a little kid, a spit image of either one of them, sitting on his lap, giggling and laughing and squealing in glee. and so he decided, there will always be cons, he just has to see if the pros outweighed them. and honestly, they did. they were pro-athletes, sure, but that also meant they were financially stable, and could provide for a child, properly. they were mature now, knew each other very well, and had adapted to living with one another. they had family and friends all around. the kid would for sure grow up loved and cared for, and him and atsumu would add another person to their family. it really seemed like a dream, but this time, an attainable one.

↬ so as he ate dinner with his lover, he blurted out, “let’s raise a child together,” and atsumu honest to god choked on his food. he asked sakusa if he was serious, if he meant it, if this was real, and sakusa’s answer was yes to every single one of his question. yes, he was serious; yes, he meant it; yes, this was real. as real as can be.

↬ they both already knew they wanted a surrogate, and it didn’t matter who was the father. so long as the child was theirs.

↬ finding a surrogate was, well, a pain, to put it into perspective. sakusa was so picky about the “requirements,” if you will, and atsumu was suspicious of every single woman, it was kind of ridiculous really. he just “didn’t trust that they wouldn’t run away with the baby!” in his words. atsumu suggested sakusa’s older sister, which seemed perfect in his head, but sakusa refused, claiming it was 1. extremely weird, and 2. he doubted she’d say yes, with her own life to handle.

↬ and it finally, finally, came to atsumu: he could always just ask, well, you. he had met you during his college years, and since then, he’d been coincidentally crossing paths with you ever since then, and you’d even managed their msby jackals team at some point. it was weirdly ironic how he’s coming back to you, kind of like fate.

↬ so he suggested it to sakusa, and for once, the latter didn’t really have any way to object, except, “what if this inconveniences her?” other than that, you were the perfect candidate. they knew you well, trusted you, knew they could rely on you. and atsumu was sure you wouldn’t run with the baby. with regards to the inconvenience part, well, they could always just deal with that when the time came.

↬ they invited you over for some breakfast two days later, after they’d thought about it properly, endlessly, and figured you were their best option. it was weird seeing them so nervous when you first arrived, like they were breaking up with you or something. atsumu barely ate with how nauseous he felt, and sakusa spent the entire time watching you eat instead, hands fidgeting and legs shaking. it was really weird, but you didn’t bring it up, letting them take their own time to tell you whatever it was they wanted to tell you, because obviously, they clearly had something to say.

↬ after breakfast, you sat in their living room, just watching the tv quietly, until sakusa offered to get you some water. you weren’t really thirsty, but you agreed anyways, unsurprised to see atsumu rise from his own seat a minute later with a, “be right back,” as he headed to the kitchen. you could hear them bickering and whisper-yelling, and if you weren’t starting to grow as nervous as they were, you would’ve had it in you to laugh. they returned looking like they were bearing the most daunting of news, sitting down on the couch perpendicular to you. atsumu’s hands were sweaty and intertwined tightly together, while sakusa tried to remain as composed as possible. it seemed like the dark haired man would speak up, finally, parting his mouth with a deep breath.

↬ but it’s atsumu that blurts out, “please have my baby!— our baby. please have our baby.”

↬ honestly, your first response was to laugh, in disbelief, as you clutch your glass of water. but then you see their faces — god they looked so goddamn scared — and you realized that, they were really serious. they really wanted you to carry their baby for them. holy shit?—

↬ you were mostly speechless after that, stuttering as you ask them to please explain, you’re honored but are they are, have they thought about this? properly? in depth?

↬ to your surprise, they really knew what they were doing. they’d done their research, and thought about a million other options before deciding that you were the best one. they also repeatedly told you that you didn’t have to do this, and that they didn’t want to guilt-trip you into doing it either. they wanted you to say yes only if you yourself wanted to say yes, and if this wouldn’t negatively affect you or halt your life in any way. you were the one that was going to be carrying the baby anyways, weren’t you? at the end of the day, this was all about you.

↬ you asked them for time to think about it, and reminded them that it wasn’t a no. you just wanted to make sure you were making the right decision whichever that ended up being. a few days later, you call them, asking them to meet up one way or another, and atsumu’s even more nervous than he was asking you; not even sakusa’s gentle lips to his temple or large hands soothingly rubbing at his back or his kind words could help him. sakusa himself was insanely anxious. in his head, it seemed like your ‘no,’ would finalize everything. that it would really mean no hope in having a child of their own, their very own.

↬ you invite them over to your home, and the kettle is already boiling when they arrive. you make them tea and make small talk if only to delay the inevitable. but, to each of their surprises, you take a deep breath and say, “i’d be honored to carry your baby for you,” with the brightest, warmest smile. sakusa has to bite his inner cheek to will himself to not cry, because he can’t believe you said yes. you agreed. you’re going to carry their baby. him and atsumu were having a baby.

↬ atsumu doesn’t stop himself from throwing his arms around you, collapsing on top of you in tight hug that you kind of can’t breathe, but you let him, and you laugh when he thanks you for saying yes, that he’ll “be forever in your debt.”

↬ it’s the happiest you’ve seen either of them.

↬ when you’re done with the process of insemination (of course, atsumu does joke that the three of you should go the natural way and have a threesome, to which he earns a smack from his lover and a smack from you, at the same time), the three of you just have to wait, really. it’s the longest period of waiting you’ve ever had to do, but you try to be patient, as patient as you can be. when you wake up one morning and throw up, you look at your period tracking app to see if maybe you were pms’ing. except, you weren’t. you were late. like a good three weeks late.

↬ immediately, you’re booking a doctor’s appointment. you wait to tell sakusa and atsumu after confirming your suspicions, because you don’t want to raise their hopes up for nothing. they’ve already been swimming in a pool of doubts ever since the insemination, calling you everyday to check up on you and ask for any progress. when the doctor confirms your pregnancy — holy shit you were pregnant — the first thing you do is go over to their house. you know it’s not the best idea to show up unannounced, but with how long they’ve been waiting, and how much they’ve been wanting this, the more and more you fed into it, you couldn’t wait any longer to tell them. you arrive, and the moment sakusa opens the door for you, you gasp out, “i’m pregnant.”

↬ sakusa’s quite literally frozen in shock, his mouth pressed in a thin line with eyes wide open, while atsumu walks over and goes, “oh hey,” in greeting before noticing sakusa’s face and just ???? “what’s going on?”

↬ “i’m pregnant.”

↬ “you’re what?”

↬ you show them with tears stinging your eyes the results of the test you’d taken at the doctor’s, and atsumu grips the report so tightly, like it’ll disappear if it slips only slightly from his hands. sakusa’s still in shock, trying to process everything. it takes him a good while before he can function properly again.

↬ the pregnancy itself is a lot smoother than you’d imagined. iwaizumi, as their athletic trainer, although not well versed with pregnancy, knew a lot about health and taking care of yourself in general, so he made sure you were always eating right and healthy. he even accompanied you once when sakusa and atsumu couldn’t, to the doctor, and made sure to ask him specifically what you should and shouldn’t be eating. all of the olympic/national team are more excited than anything. they’re insanely protective over you, and always pamper and care for you you when they can, whether that be back/neck/shoulder massages or giving you their food when they notice you eyeing it or letting you lean entirely on any of them for support as you walk. granted, they do make fun of you, especially the bigger your stomach got, but they mean well, really. suna once made fun of you and, because of the hormones, and because he was genuinely just mean, you started to cry. since then, suna swore off bullying you, at least until you gave birth.

↬ osamu is beyond ecstatic to become an uncle. he’s so excited it makes atsumu incredibly emotional. he goes with his brother on trips to ikea to buy a crib and gifts him an insane amount of baby clothes and always begins a conversation with, “how’s the baby?” every time you’re around, osamu’s hand can be found resting on your stomach, soothingly rubbing, excitedly grinning when he feels a kick. he is just so happy for his brother, he could cry.

↬ you ask them if they want a gender reveal when you find out or to keep it until the delivery of the baby, but they’re both insanely impatient (even though sakusa does try to convince atsumu to wait because it’ll be exciting, he himself isn’t even that convinced of that and they just ask you to tell them). with the help of osamu and his and atsumu’s parents, you organize a gender reveal party. the moment he sees the pink smoke, atsumu cheers so loudly it makes you laugh till your stomach hurt. sakusa’s grinning wider than you’ve ever seen him, grabbing atsumu’s face and kissing him, before pulling you into a tight hug. it’s literally the cutest thing ever, everyone just cheering loudly around you and celebrating with you.

↬ when you go into labor, you’re with neither of them, but with osamu, aran, and kita. they were staying the night at a hotel since they had training away from where they lived, and you were spending the night at osamu’s because the fathers of your baby really didn’t want you to be alone so close to your due date, and who better than osamu? your water didn’t break, but you kept having contractions. you were brushing it off as normal pain at the start, but they started to get worse, and closer together in time. kita, because he’s kita, had been keeping track, and told you how far apart your contractions were. to which you went, “contractions?!”

↬ aran’s calling sakusa and atsumu as kita grabs your bag as osamu grabs his keys and helps you to his car. you really couldn’t have been around a better set of men, because they were perfectly composed the whole time, helping you breathe and stay calm by staying calm themselves, reassuring you that you didn’t need to worry and that you will get to the hospital in time. they did flinch every time you screamed or cried out in pain, but aran held your hand the entire drive there, and kita guided you to steadying yourself as osamu drove as fast as he could.

↬ the issue was with sakusa and atsumu. to say they were freaking out would be an understatement. they were positively losing it. atsumu’s anxiety was louder than sakusa’s, but the latter’s was clear as ever on his pale skin and clammy hands. they were so annoying in the delivery room, literally faring worse off than you, who was pushing a whole baby out of her body. when you finally gave birth to a healthy baby girl, atsumu sobbed and sakusa cried in his hands, so maybe it was alright after all.

↬ they literally couldn’t believe their eyes when the nurse handed you the baby and placed her on your chest. she was so, so tiny, so beautiful, and theirs. honestly, you couldn’t hold back your own tears at the sight of her, and at their reaction to her. you held her in your arms as they thanked you, over and over and over again, for the biggest blessing they could ever receive.

↬ despite the fact that you were simply their surrogate, sakusa and atsumu knew they couldn’t just separate you and your baby, and neither could they just take her home all of a sudden. so for the first few months, you stayed in their guest room, but the baby slept in her own room. it was more difficult than you expected it to be when you were leaving her to go back to your own home, but they promised you repeatedly that they’re not really taking her away. it wasn’t as if you couldn’t visit at any time you wanted to come visit her. but at the end of the day, you knew what you had been signing up for, and that she was their daughter.

↬ she grows up to be a gorgeous woman. she’s interested in volleyball, sure, she’d been raised with volleyball players everywhere around her, but it’s not her immediate passion. atsumu thought he’d be more upset about that than he actually was, because he found out that it didn’t matter at all what she wanted to do. hell, if she wanted to do nothing at all and stay home forever with them, he was 100% on board with that. whatever made her happy and healthy, he was okay with. she grows up to be really close and really comfortable with both of her fathers, and they make sure with every passing day that no matter what, she can always come to them. and she does, about every little thing. and each and every time, they listen and advice and guide her properly. a s parents, they’re a perfect balance of strict and lenient. they set and raise her to never cross those boundaries, but otherwise they give her complete freedom. they respect her privacy, her decisions, everything.

↬ there was a day when she came back home from school, and they had taken a biology class for kids, where a teacher had explained periods to them. obviously, as curious as ever, she’d asked her dads about it, because she didn’t really get it. she wanted to know the how’s and the why’s and the what’s and the when’s. with every passing second atsumu had felt his lifespan shorten. eventually he suggested they call you, who she knew as her ‘aunt’ for the time being, since you were a woman and nobody would really explain it better than you. when she did get her period eventually, and had to sheepishly and shyly ask her dads to go to the store for her because she needed, um, supplies, atsumu lost it. sakusa had to try and calm him down all while laughing as he got ready to go to the store for her, because the drama of miya atsumu never gets old. he just couldn’t believe she was already getting her period. what the hell! what the actual hell!

↬ of course, he proceeded to embarrass her by telling osamu, telling sakusa’s parents, telling his parents. not cool :(

↬ when she was old enough, especially to understand the concept of being a surrogate (oh my god the sex talk was a whole other insufferable thing), they told her about you, and that you were actually her biological mother and not just an ‘auntie.’ she tried to be angry at them for keeping it from her, but she was honestly more excited about finding out than anything. it brought the two of you closer together, and for the next mother’s day, she organized a whole brunch for you, her and her dads, got you a gift, flowers, everything. yeah, you did cry.

↬ you genuinely have never been more satisfied and thankful for a decision like this one, ever, especially because of how much of a blessing the outcome had been.

can u tell this isn’t my first time thinking about this. ever since i posted the iwaoi one i’ve been wanting to do a sakuatsu one, but i didn’t really know whether anyone had enjoyed that or would want more, so thank you for sending in this ask!! love u all mwah <3 

[sourwulf]

hi hi hi!!! i was hoping i could request smth where u and stiles r married n have been trying to get pregnant for about three years n finally succeed n u get to tell him!!!

༄  word count  —  735

፨  characters  —  stiles stilinski

☓  tw  —  none

⊹  cw  —  mentions of sex

✎  masterlist

─

exhausted was the only word that came to mind to describe your mental state. ten percent of women in the united states have difficulty getting pregnant, and you just happened to be one of them.

you’d always wanted kids of your own, and so had stiles. so, about two years into your marriage you decided to try to get pregnant. the first couple of times it didn’t work, you assumed it just wasn’t the right time.

but after about four months, you knew it was more than that. so after countless doctor’s appointments, you were told by your gynecologist that there was a low chance of you ever getting pregnant.

the news felt like a punch to the gut, and kept you quiet for a couple of days afterwards.

stiles grew more and more worried, as you were always talkative around him.

so you did what you thought was best and loaded yourself up on hormone pills, which destroyed your body. you broke out in acne everywhere, gained a significant amount of weight, and your joints hurt all the time.

but it wasn’t just the news that hurt. every night you two would have sex in the hopes of getting pregnant — to the point it was almost a chore. neither of you really got enjoyment out of it anymore, and it used to be something both of you looked forward to ending your nights with.

but now the thought of having sex made you almost nauseous thinking about it. so you both agreed to put a pause on it for a couple of weeks until you felt like trying again.

and maybe that break was just what you needed.

the night of your birthday, the two of you sat on your couch and drank an entire bottle of wine before heading to the bedroom to have sex for the first time in a month. and that was the first time in a long time either of you enjoyed it.

not even two months later, you woke up one morning and immediately sprinted to the toilet, puking your guts out.

immediately, you knew what it was. stiles wasn’t home that morning, he was with scott doing what he did best — hunting some supernatural creature.

so you grabbed an extra pregnancy test from under the sink and just stared at it. the process of using it was a blur, but sitting on the edge of your bed as you waited for the results to form was nerve-wracking.

when you finally got to check, a tiny plus sign made you smile from ear to ear and tears rolled down your cheeks.

it wasn’t until later that stiles got home, and you decided to tell him after he’d changed into some comfortable clothes.

you knocked on the door of your shared bedroom and he looked up at you with a smile.

“hey,” he said, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“hey.” you walked over and stood a few feet in front of him, leaning back against the wall.

“so you know how i started those hormone treatments and my emotions have been weird?”

he shook his head unconvincingly. “i, uh, didn’t notice. nope.”

you raised an eyebrow. “really?”

“well, you’ve been crying at really small stuff, not even sad stuff.”

“yeah. well, i figured that’s not really a normal side effect, so i called my doctor and asked, and she said it’s not.”

his eyebrows raised and he stood up, crossing his arms. “are you okay? that doesn’t sound good.”

“yeah, i’m good. but i had a guess as to what it might’ve been, and i was right.”

you reached into your pocket and pulled out the pregnancy test and he just stared at it, a smile creeping onto his face.

“is that-”

“yep.”

“and that means-”

“yep.”

“we’re having a baby?”

his smile rubbed off on you. “we’re having a baby.”

he immediately pulled you in for a hug and you both laughed, holding each other close. when he broke the hug, he kissed you instead.

“i love you so much,” he whispered, touching your foreheads together.

“i love you, too.”

finally. all that hard, grueling work paid off. all the nights of sex you didn’t want to have, all the pills and doctor’s appointments weren’t for nothing.

you were having a baby with the love of your life, and you couldn’t be happier.