#it’s just that they don’t have anywhere else to go because they’re too selfish or cringe or lazy or annoying so they stick together

[applespider]

Strong independent woman? More like pathetic dependent woman who’s flaws counter out any good qualities she has twice over. I’m still talking about Aqua. I love her so much. That’s something I really like about the Konosuba cast in general. Found family without the wholesome. They never leave the first town, they’re constantly in debt, everyone knows them as those weirdos who cause problems, but they kind of love each other anyway. They’re found family because they all suck so much they can’t survive without each other. They aren’tin a position to reject each other because of their weird or unlikeable qualities. They’re the same. You just kind of accept it. And isn’t that what family is?

I’m not wording this right, but they’re just such normal people. They like cool stuff even if it’s seen as cringe, they can’t help but blow their earnings on nice alcohol, they work a regular job because adventuring doesn’t really pay. They adjust to each other. Kazuma taking Megumin out to do her explosions, Aqua and Kazuma being the same fucking person, both irritating each other and understanding each other because of it. Kazuma not wanting to fight the demon king because it sounds like a lot of work. They accept each others weirdness out of necessity. That’smy type of found family.

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Hiii

I remember when you were posting about your Kim/Wik Twins AU and I was so hooked! There’s so much potential for angst in this AU😩🤌 I always wondered if there was anything new going on with this WIP.

PS: I’ve been following your blog for a little while (I don’t interact bc im shyy) and I love all your Kimchay WIPS and little excerpts you’ve blessed us with (they make my day everytime I see one). So I want to personally thank your brain for all these wonderful ideas and just thank you for being you 😊

send me an ask and I'll tell you about one of these WIPs!

Oh anon, you're a darling! This was so nice to wake up to <3 I actually haven't worked much on that AU since originally posting it, but you're right, there is so much angst potential in this AU between Wik and Kim. One of the inspirations from it actually came from World of Warcraft, and how the character Varian was split into two people, the other one being Lo'Gosh. I really loved how it wasn't just "this is the good side vs. the bad/feral side." Varian was polite and charming and good at socializing, but he was also vain and easy to manipulate (which was the point of splitting him), whereas Lo'Gosh was definitely a barbarian, but he was also all of Varian's strong will and ambition/motivation, and passion. I hadn't seen that kind of character splitting before, because it's usually an easy shorthand for doing a good/evil thing.

So for the purposes of this fic, Kim isn't just all the evil mafia while Wik is the sweetheart singer. Wik is very driven and tbh a little selfish, he's kind to his fans but ultimately very cold, because he grew up in a world where anything he cared about could be used against him. Both of them are still calculating in clever, but it's Wik that begins investigating Chay, intentionally using his stardom as an in, and purposefully manipulating him to get more information. He takes it to a stronger degree than we actually see from Kim in the show.

Whereas Kim is the quieter, more contained side. They both love music but Kim prefers guitar/piano over singing because he doesn't want to draw attention to himself the way Wik does, although he does write a lot of poetry/lyrics. One of the betrayals from Wik leaving is that he stole Kim's songs. The other is that he left Kim behind. He loves his brother more than anything, and Wik leaving him without so much as a goodbye was devastating for him.

Here's your slightly less than 500 words!

“You left me!” “Would you have even come with me?” Kim’s voice breaks on a desperate, “Yes!” He wants to take it back as soon as the word leaves his mouth, too honest in the heat of his moment, chest heaving with the weight of it. The only good thing about the admission is that his brother is too stunned to reply; Kim takes satisfaction in that, in the implication of it, as Wik realizes the depth of his own selfishness.  “Kim…” “I would…” Kim swallows. Days of captivity have left his throat dry. It hurts, speaking these words aloud, tearing them out of his chest to release them after all these years. “I would have. If you asked me to, I would have.”  He would have followed his brother anywhere. They were always meant to be together. Kim and Wik, two halves of the same whole, mirror images down to their names. Until Wik decided he couldn’t bear his own reflection anymore.  “Kim, I’m sorry, I didn’t know—” “How could you? You only ever think about yourself.” Kim laughs. It’s wet. It hurts, like everything else about this damned conversation. Maybe Wik was right; they were better off alone. “I thought you knew me better than anyone, but you don’t know me at all.” Maybe Wik never did. What a horrible time to realize how truly alone he really is.  Wik doesn’t speak for a long time. Neither does Kim, keeping his head bowed and his breaths measured, cracked ribs aching with every rise and fall of his chest. What a cruel joke that the first time they’re sharing a space in years, something Kim has longed for since the day Wik left, and it’s only because someone else has forced them together.  “I don’t think you would ever leave the family,” Wik eventually says, his voice quieter than Kim has ever heard it. “You’re not like me, Kim, you never wanted to leave.” Of course he didn’t. Why would Kim ever want to leave his brothers? But at least if he had, Kinn and Tankhun would have had each other. They wouldn’t have been alone, not like Wik is now. Not like Kim is, forever missing his other half. Neither of them were meant to be alone. "It doesn't matter anymore." "Yes it does. Kim. I never meant to hurt you. I—" But there's no more time to talk because their captors are walking in, and Wik is throwing himself in front of Kim, both of them bound and unable to put of any kind of fight. Not that it would have mattered; Wik already got himself kidnapped. Too nosy to stay out of the family completely, but apparently the idealistic fool didn't bother to keep up with his martial arts. Still. Despite blaming him for the current predicament, Kim is a little bit touched that Wik is trying to protect him now. Too late to matter, maybe, but it's something.

[mecub]

I wrote a thing! It’s 3am! Warning for body horror and the nonsense that comes out of my brain this late at night.

You’ve been traveling for days, and you’re tired. The inn is full, and it’s too cold and rainy for you to sleep in the streets. But a woman with a warm voice like honey hears you complain, and she offers sanctuary at her home. 

You go with her. Her house is the definition of cottagecore, with a big garden and climbing vines and tall grass. She offers fresh strawberries and poppy seed bagels that she’s been learning to bake, sorry if they’re not great. You tell her that they’re amazing, and scarf down what’s probably too many strawberries, but she doesn’t seem to mind.

You spend a few days with her, recovering from your most recent battle. The two of you pick berries and cut up a perfectly ripe watermelon, letting the juice run down your fingers as you picnic in the forest behind her home. You tend to her flowers with her, try everything she bakes, teach her an old family lemonade recipe. You talk, too: about books you’ve both read (she studied classics! You have a long conversation about interpretations of Circe in modern media), about people you’ve known and left behind (“I hurt people,” you say. “Every time I get close to someone, it just blows up on my face.” She smiles, almost bitterly. “Me too.”), about your adventures (you trust her, you realize as you open up about the details of monsters that you’re not sure you regret killing).

But still, the day comes when you know you need to leave. You have so much to do, so many people to save, and sitting in the sun eating fruit is just… selfish. You learned your lesson a long time ago, about being selfish.

On the morning when you plan to leave, the woman sets out fresh poppy seed bagels— the same recipe she made the day you got there. She’s already improved at making them, in the few days you’ve stayed with her.

You tell her that, and you must sound sad when you say it because she looks up and whispers, “Ah. You’re leaving?”

Something inside you hurts at the look on her face when she says it, but you nod. “I have to.”

She just shrugs, with this look that you can’t make yourself read, and it really does hurt, but you have a duty. No matter how much a place feels warm, and safe, and calm, finally calm after everything, you need to go.

You stand in the doorway, running a finger over the climbing vines. You can almost imagine they move towards you, almost imagine this place cares for you like you’ve come to care for it.

A soft voice behind you says, “Wait.”

Your stomach sinks. Why couldn’t this be easy? Why couldn’t you just go, and forget about her, and about this place, and about feeling safe?

“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

“You can’t leave.”

“I’m sorry,” you say again, and she sighs behind you. Your body twitches to turn around, to face her, but you know you can’t, you can’t.

“No. You don’t understand,” she says, and you hope you’re just imagining the something dark in her voice. “I can’t let you go.”

No. Your hand clenches on the doorframe, but you stay put. 

You’ve been wrong before, about countless things. You could be wrong about this. You could’ve just misread her tone. You can still be safe.

“What?” you ask.

Her voice is honey-smooth, too sweet. “You heard me, hero. Stay.”

Not this. Not her, not here. 

You turn.

You turn, and find her kind face twisted with hate, staring at you from across the room. Her smile is too sharp, her eyes too bright. You reach for your sword. You would rather be anywhere else but here, now.

She laughs. “I wondered how long it would take you to figure it out. It’s rare to meet a hero this naive. Your type usually don’t trust.”

Tears well in your eyes as you draw your sword and say what’s expected of you. “What are you?”

“Does it really matter? We’re all monsters to you, aren’t we?”

“You’re not a monster. You’re—“

“Kind?” she hisses. “Caring? Good?”

You nod.

She laughs, humorless. “So were the so-called monsters you killed. They were my friends, and my family. And you killed them, without regret, without mercy.” Her eyes glow, and you take a step back, but she steps forward and growls. “There were children amongst those you killed, ever think of that?”

Oh, god. “I’m sorry! I didn’t know, I—“

“Quiet, little hero. Your excuses don’t matter, because I’m not letting you live long enough to make them.”

Something behind you hisses. You spin, and find the vines around the doorway have woven themselves into a wall. You slash at them with your sword, but it doesn’t work. The vines wrench it from your hands, and you’re left defenseless against— against whatever the woman is, a witch or demon or something that you should’ve recognized. It’s your job to spot danger, it’s your job to kill monsters, yet you trusted her. You trusted her and now her eyes are glowing and a wind whips through her home and your stomach clenches and—

She raises her hands. Smiles. You open your mouth, to beg for mercy or to scream for help or something, anything, but you don’t get the chance because something inside of you is wrong.

It takes you a moment to realize that something in your stomach is writhing, growing, pushing against your guts.

The woman’s fingers twitch, and you know what’s about to happen. 

“Please,” you whisper. “I have people to save, I have to protect them.”

“So do I,” she growls, and then her hands curl into fists.

It doesn’t hurt, for half a second, when your stomach bursts.

And then you’re on the ground, sobbing, screaming as poppies curl around berry bushes that burst out of you, petals glistening with your blood. 

The only mercy of it is that your body drops you into unconsciousness quickly and that, after she’s sure you met your end painfully, she leaves you to the forest and lets your body become food for the plants growing from your guts.

At least you can do something good in your death. At least, even though you failed to save the world, you’re good enough to be fertilizer.

[darksigns-exe]

interlude: until the poets run out of rhyme (nick x mari)

pairing: nicholas ruffilo x mari (ofc)

warnings: none

word count: 736

The room still smells of fresh paint. For a moment it disorients him, but then he remembers. Mar shifts next to him, wriggles a little before she wraps her arm around his middle. It’s barely morning, the sun hasn’t even made its way across the horizon.

His body feels a little stiff, they don’t usually sleep so tangled up with each other, and he can’t deny that there’s the odd crick in his neck that’ll annoy him throughout the day. But he got to wake up with Mari curled against his side, so he won’t complain.

He feels her lips pressing against the side of his chest. Her fingers dance across his skin, skimming past the tattoo she’d given him some years back. It’s a little faded, but he doesn’t mind.

Sometimes he forgets how long it’s been. They’ve done so much, and on some days it all blurs into one. He hadn’t thought that they’d come back to Los Angeles, but here they are. This new place doesn’t quite feel like home yet. They’re getting there, but they’ve spent so much time in their old home that right now he feels as if they’re on a very long vacation. It’ll come with time, Nick’s sure of that.

Another kiss is pressed against his skin. Mari’s wandering hands have found their way to the other side of his body. They drift against the side of his ribs, the touch just on the right side of ticklish.

Nick can feel her smile against his skin. He loves the little tender touches they share. Loves when she showers him with affection like this. Maybe it’s a little selfish, because he wants to keep her here just for himself.

She whispers a good morning between her kisses.

His hand finds the side of her face. As much as he loves when she loves on him like that, at that moment he absolutely has to kiss her. He guides her upwards, until their lips meet in a chaste little kiss. Time doesn’t feel real when they kiss like that. It’s all drawn out in the best way possible.

For a while, he thought that it wouldn’t always be like this, that they’d get used to each other at some point. He’s glad that he still finds himself so very enamoured with her. Nick isn’t sure when she has repositioned herself on top of him. Her thighs are on either side of his waist as she continues to kiss him so sweetly.

Nick brings his hands to her waist, his fingers dig into her. It’s far too early for this to go anywhere, but he’s more than content with this. He lets her wander to her heart's content. And she does. She trails back down to his jaw and neck.

Mornings like these are becoming so rare. Even with the move, Nick doesn’t get nearly as much time at home as he’d like. They’ve been on tour so much, and it doesn’t seem as if things are planning to slow down anytime soon, either.

His mind swims with the feeling of her lips and hands still showering him with attention. The words she whispers in between barely find his ears. The feeling reminds him of the first time they’d kissed. His ears had been buzzing with static for ages after it. Maybe he’d decided then that he would never kiss anyone else like that again.

They’ll tell them all tonight. A nice little get-together with everyone to celebrate their move. Surely, there’ll be an opportune movement to drop the news somewhere during the night.

“Nicky.” her hands cradle his face so gently, “Have you listened to a single thing I’ve just said?”

He hadn’t, truth be told. Sometimes he gets a little caught up in his thoughts, especially when she’s this close to him.

She shakes her head, “I said that we have a bit of time until we have to get up so we might as well use it.”

It takes his still half asleep mind a moment to compute the words. And then it snaps into place.

“Would be a shame for that time to go to waste.”

He loves the wicked smile that plays across her face, the little glint that he’ll never get tired of. He hopes that this will never become mundane. Maybe it’s foolish but he’s always been a bit of a fool for her.

[noxexistant]

Hiii nox, can I please possibly request "that was probably the least sincere apology i've ever received.” (If you could throw a little Skittery in there perhaps)

accidentally dropped the whole skittery in there my b

------

“I’m sorry.”

It’s maybe the eight thousandth time Jack’s said it.  Skittery might be sure that Jack’s forgotten how to say anything else, just reduced himself in his entirety to worthless apologies that Skittery can’t do anything with but ignore.  But Jack’s a stubborn bastard, and never could deal with the thought that any of his boys were upset with him.  He’s a controlling piece of shit, likes to paint himself their patriarch, their leader and king - all of that, and then goes and stabs them in the back for cash anyway.

And he’s explained.  Maybe six thousand times to the eight thousand apologies, how it wasn’t really for the money.  How it was selfless, really, he’d just wanted to protect them.  

Wanted to protect Davey, at least.

But Skittery knows better than ever now that Cowboy’s full of shit.  A traitor and a liar who could so easily turn on them again, probably only regrets doing it at all because of how things had turned out.  And he never knows how to let nothing go, even when Skittery breaks away from the group all reunited and stumbles outside for a bitter smoke, praying for a moment of peace, maybe the will to calm down so the kids can stop giving him those godawful looks.

“I really am sorry.”  

But it’s Jack again.  

“I swear, Skits, I…”

He should’ve known Jack would follow him.  Jack would follow anyone anywhere to bargain, to talk, to get the last goddamn word in.

“I’m sorry, alright? I’ll be better.”

“Well, that was probably the least sincere apology I’ve ever received,” Skittery spits, the words out of his mouth before he’s had a chance to think better, choke them back like he’s been doing since Jack came back.  He knocks his thumb against the butt of his cigarette and watches the ash tumble to the ground, tries to tell himself he’ll be half calm by the time it lands.

It doesn’t even get to before Jack is talking again.

“I just don’t know what you want from me,” he says, splaying his palms in frustration.  Something like humility.  And he’s back in his pauper clothes now, but all Skittery can see is the one he’d been dressed in for the rally, that fine warm clean new costume of a wealthier man.  No more selfish than Jack truly is, but so much easier to identify as such.

He’s even more a liar now, back dressed like he’s one of them again.  Like that’s a call he can make.

“I—I’ve said I’m sorry, an’ I am, an’ all the rest of the guys, they’re fine.  What is it with you? Why can’t you forgive me?”

Skittery wasn’t done with his smoke, wants the rest of it desperately and can’t afford to waste it regardless, but he’s too angry to keep it.  He tosses it down and watches, stomach turning with his fury, as its cherry sparks and spits embers as it rolls across the cobbles, like it’s angry too.

“The fact you’re asking’ forgiveness is one thing,” he says, calmer than he feels.  “If you’d jus’ been sorry.  Apologised an’ meant it and that’d been it.  But no, no, you’re beggin’ forgiveness as quick as you’re sayin’ you’re sorry - it’s about you.  Not me.  Ain’t never about me.”

“I want you to forgive me,” Jack says, quiet, and Skittery rounds on him.

“Well, I don’t!” he hollers.  “You’re a fuckin’ scab! A traitor, an’ you can’t take that back.  You fuckin’ grovel an’ beg an’ you can’t take that back.”

“I gave the money back—”

“But you took it.  An’ you put the clothes on, an’ you turned your back on us, an’ you went.”

Skittery kicks himself off the wall and drags his hand down his face.  Wishes he could soak Jack, break his damn nose, make him sorry in a way that matters.  But he’s tired.  The kids are all inside and they’re so damn happy to have Cowboy back.

Skittery heads back inside too, but tosses one last statement over his shoulder.

“Wish you ain’t bothered comin’ back.”

[thatgirl4815]

I agree with you that Sand would not put up with Ray keeping him on the side if he's dating Mew, but I don't think Ray's going to give him a choice. I think that's part of why he and Sand are nowhere around anyone else while this is happening. Ray gets him somewhere he can't figure out he's setting him up to be the second guy. He's always tried to keep Sand away from Mew because for Ray they aren't anywhere near the same realm, and at this point I can't see it changing. It feels way too late in the show for that kind of shift.

I just can't see it going any other way. Khaotung has said Ray is horribly selfish and will stop at nothing to get what he wants. We've seen him trying to have both already, and there's no way the guy who's still looking at Mew like he's the best thing that ever happened to him is going to stop dating him unless Mew breaks it off. And I don't think Mew is there yet.

Besides, narratively I think it would make sense, considering Mew is so stuck on being with Ray right now because he thinks that he would never do what Top did, but then Ray goes and does something worse.

I think it's possible they'll have Mew do something with Top while being with Ray too, but that wouldn't make what Ray's doing to Sand better.

But I still think that Sand needs to confess for himself. It'll hurt more when it falls apart but he can at least move on without any what ifs.

I think Sand would also be skeptical that maybe Ray is only setting him up to be the second choice and that their isolation is the perfect way for Ray to convince him that he cares. So I don’t think that point would be lost on Sand. He can see that Ray wants to keep him separate from Mew. But this whole situation assumes that Ray is consciously thinking through his approach to both Mew and Sand, and I don’t necessarily think that’s the case. I think Ray might want to keep them separate, but I think he cares more about enjoying time alone with Sand than purely using this trip as a way of tricking him into believing he’s his first choice. All in all, I think Ray is a lot more confused about all of this than he’d like to appear. He cares deeply about Sand, and I think he wants Sand to be his first choice, but those lingering feelings over Mew are getting in his way.

Maybe I’m just optimistic. But while I think Ray still loves Mew deeply, last episode seemed to indicate that Ray is not enjoying their romantic relationship. Most of this is likely due to Mew just being a chaotic mess after things blew up with Top. But even if that wasn’t the case, I think Ray realizes that his interactions with Mew are far less enjoyable for either of them when they’re paired up romantically. That could be a catalyst for showing Ray that it’s enough for Mew to love him as a friend, but it doesn’t necessarily need to be something more to still matter. And maybe the best way for Ray to show how much he loves Mew is to let go of his hopes for a romantic relationship when it’s clearly something Mew does not want, tried and true.

[mayisgoingnuts]

This is a long one (also sorry took a while, but I was cooking Mac n cheese)

Susie: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!

Pump: OH SHUT UP SUSIE!

Susie: YOU SHUT IT YOU LITTLE MONSTER!

Pump: I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?!

Mr. Wonder: children please

Susie: a little jerkwad who has ruined our family.

Mr. Wonder: SUSIE!

Pump: it’s not even that bad!

Susie: not that bad? NOT THAT BAD?! Do you still not get what you did?!

Pump: I-

Susie: you have harassed, tormented, assaulted and nearly killed just about everyone in this town! You have caused so much property damage this family’s debts just keep piling up!

Pump: oh please! Mom and dad make lots of money they care about it more than-

Mr. Wonder: don’t you dare finish that sentence!

Susie: it doesn’t matter how much they make, or how much they’ve saved up. With the amount of damages you’ve caused and the amount that we are going to have to pay back, it is going to drain any savings they have.

Pump: they can just-

Susie: what? They can what? Earn years worth of savings back in a few months? Not possibly get their pay cut or get demoted or even get fired over this? They can definitely forget any chances they had at promotions and better pay. Who wants to work with the parents of such a hateful little gremlin?

Pump: shut up!

Susie: and more so, if they do lose their jobs and they have to get new ones. People won’t hire them, they’re gonna have to get low paying jobs. We’ll have no money to our name. Barely able to afford bills and necessities. And forget college.

Pump: school is dumb anyway.

Susie: yeah maybe for a brain dead loser like you who never tried! But I actually did. Because I wanted to go to college, I wanted to become an artist. To maybe even make shows and movies and games as a character designer. But I can kiss that goodbye.

Pump: I don’t care!

Susie: of course you don’t. You’re too damn selfish to think of anyone else! And you know what’s worse? I can’t even go anywhere in town without people reminding me that I’m your sister. Because that’s all they see me as. So forget any friends I could’ve made, any job opportunities, or even leaving this town.

I’m just Pump’s sister. Not Susie.

Pump: well I’m losing Skid!

Susie: good! Holy crap you were bad before, but the minute you met that kid you got so much worse! And even though I’m mad at Ms. Lila for Skid, she’s even worse off! She’s a single parent who’s barely making ends meet, how the hell is she gonna pay all this off?

And having to completely upend her life and leave behind the few friends she’s got left at that you and that brat haven’t taken away from her?!

Pump: it’s not my fault! I just wanted to have fun, everybody else is just dumb!

Susie: it is completely your fault!

Pump: if you were a nicer sister-

Susie: DON’T YOU DARE PIN THIS ON ME! I DIDN’T MAKE YOU BE FRIENDS WITH A SADISTIC LITTLE NUTCASE! I DIDN’T MAKE YOU HARASS THE TOWN! I DIDN’T DO ANY OF THAT!

YOU DID! YOU AND THAT LITTLE DEMON!

Pump: he’s not-

Susie: How in the world did I get cursed with the most supid, selfish piece of trash like you for a brother?

Pump: *blows raspberry*

Susie:….I hate you.

Pump: *shocked*

Susie: *sniff* you’ve ruined my life. You’ve ruined anything I could have done with it. And you’ve ruined the rest of the family’s too. Next time you want to be stupid?

Leave us out of it.

/vpos

[morvantmortuary]

Maxi Morvant is the bar that regular men have to reach for me… and I wonder why the fuck I’m single. I have no regrets. I will find my Maxi. (I love all three but goddamn I was a Maxi gal first)

Billy ahsksldlg you and I share the exact same brain I swear to god :’D

and I wrote him!! which somehow makes it even worse!!! I’m the one who put the ink onto the page (metaphorically) and I know for a fact he came out of the part of my brain that acts like a vessel for my muse!! don’t get me started about the woo-woo nonsense lore I’m developing around my own writing process istg

but to be Too Deep about it, on some level, I figure in a kind of backwards way, that if I can put that kind of love on the page, the realistic aspects of it aren’t… impossible to find, you know? because it exists in me, so it does exist. and that means it exists in other people, because I am a people, and in the grand scheme of things, as much as my gender/brain stuff makes me feel like a cryptid, I am probably not as unknowable or alien as I feel sometimes. life is long, neither of us have met all the people that are going to love us, we have plenty of time.

but the most important thing (and I know you know this, but I still feel like saying it) is that we find happiness in ourselves first. I am a big believer in Being Your Own Type (in the ways you can control, I obviously cannot turn myself into a beanpole of a man ten years older than me lmao). I’m in my ‘Having hobbies I’m super into and would want to share with a partner’ era, as well as doing things solely for myself. IRL, I’ve made it longer than most of my close friends still being single, and that means I can make entirely selfish decisions they wouldn’t be able to make without having to consult their partner. There’s a power in that. I can totally devote my life to my academic work and my writing with no other obligations (aside from my cat and his need for expensive prescription food lol). I’m looking at the job market again for the first time in a half decade, and it’s finally hitting me that I can go anywhere I want, as long as I have a job to stay afloat. I also found I really love living alone; I have my own routines that help me take care of myself as I would want to be taken care of, and my time is entirely mine to use as I wish. When I think about all the people in my family in the past who never got the chance to have that, who just went straight from living with their folks to marriage and families - I realize what a rare gift it is. idk!!

so I’m 100% with you - my standards are ridiculously impossibly high, especially considering they’re based on a literal Guy I Made Up. but also! I don’t really see the harm in that, because I’m pretty happy with myself and where I am now ✨

I bet we’ll both find our Maxis, if we give it time 😘 and I appreciate you taking the time to say so; it’s extremely flattering to hear that my favorite scrimblo (or one of them!) is the reason someone else has high standards for the kind of love they want for themselves 🥰

[memoriastellarum]

kaname x tatsumi I guess!

Send me a ship and I will explain why I do or don't ship it

This is one of those things I could talk about forever... I just have so much to say.  Apologies in advance, but this is not going to be very organized.  Read more because I made this way, way, way longer than expected.  Some screenshots included because this is one of those cases where I think the characters themselves say it better than I ever could do for them.

tl;dr They’re each other’s first real friend after each spending a lifetime of struggling to connect with anyone on a personal level, and no matter how you look at it, they’re very, very special to one another.

What my followers will probably learn about me quickly is that I am just a sucker for endless devotion in fiction, especially when it’s misguided or reckless.  They’ve got that in spades here.  Within the short bounds of the one and only story Kaname features prominently in, you see his shift from desperately reaching for Tatsumi to help him-- just like everyone else around them-- to being the one to say he will protect Tatsumi and he will be the one to help Tatsumi.  He goes from being desperate for absolutely any way to regain what he’d lost, to throwing it away for Tatsumi’s sake once he reclaims it.  And as for Tatsumi, you see him change from someone who is recklessly, terrifyingly giving-- such as kicking everyone else out of a shared living space just to give Kaname, who he doesn’t know, the privacy to speak when he’s upset-- to playfully biting back when Kaname scolds him for not taking care of himself, and being able to be selfish in ways he hasn’t been able to express anywhere else.

One of the reoccurring things that people say about Tatsumi is that he would love anyone, he would forgive anyone.  One of the reoccurring things people say about Kaname is that he was Tatsumi’s most devout follower.  Whether or not these are true, it’s easy to see that their connection is special, and quite a bit different from what the characters around them see.  In fact, Kaname himself gets bristly when called “one of Tatsumi’s followers.”  That’s because, essentially, he isn’t.

Kaname isn’t a follower looking to Tatsumi for succor or salvation.  He has his brother for that.  There’s even a part where he mentions that he sees his brother as his god (Which.  We don’t need to get into that.  Standard Enstars dialogue LOL) And his brother is giving him evidently flawless instructions on how to have the entire school under his thumb, taking Tatsumi for everything he’s worth.  It works, too!  Kind of.  The big wrench in the plan is, simply put, Kaname’s feelings about Tatsumi.

After they spend a bit of time together (or, as other characters put it, after they become practically inseparable) it’s no longer about regaining his place.  He does regain his special student status, thanks to his brother.  That could-- and should-- be the end of it.  But somewhere along the way, Tatsumi’s dream becomes his dream-- although, it might be just as accurate to say that Tatsumi, himself, becomes his dream.  He believes enough in Tatsumi’s ideals that he’s willing to throw away his own goals to help make them a reality.  He lies to his brother about his progress.  He spreads himself thin and performs poorly on many of the jobs he takes on, despite special instruction and all of his hard work.  And, despite how he’s already struggling, he does everything he can to alleviate Tatsumi’s pressure, at high cost to all of the excruciating effort he’s put in thus far.

Side note: it seems Kaname is one of only a few, and perhaps the only one, to be concerned enough about Tatsumi’s declining health to actually really try to help.  I should point out that Tatsumi won’t let anyone help him, although it seems a few people may have offered.  He’d been in and out of the hospital a few times before finally giving in and leaning on Kaname.  And that’s something in and of itself.  Tatsumi steadfastly refuses to allow anyone else to take on any burdens for him.  The reason why Kaname is different, from Tatsumi’s perspective, is because he’s the only one who is trying to walk beside him on his level, rather than follow behind him with him as the leader.

Kaname believes in the kind of person that Tatsumi truly is, most of all.  More than what he hopes to accomplish with his revolution, and more than the seemingly endless forgiveness and boundless love.  Despite how he seems, Kaname is a very vulnerable (and frankly, childish) person and is drawn more to Tatsumi’s kindness than his progress, which is the thing that sets him apart in the end from everyone else who follows him.  By the end, it’s not all about Tatsumi’s groundbreaking success as an idol anymore.  It’s about the personal conversations they’ve had.  It’s about their connection.  In short, it’s because he cares deeply about Tatsumi that he’s willing to go to extreme lengths for him, not as a follower, but as a friend.

It’s in Tatsumi’s nature to do his best to conceal his pain and bear it alone, as already stated.  During his revolution, there was no possible way for him to conceal it, as his health-- physical and mental-- was frequently in such crisis that he was hospitalized.  But many of his first interactions with HiMERU seem to convey someone who is deeply pained by the distance between himself and his friend.  It slips through mostly in wording.  There’s a time where he seems a little taken aback by HiMERU not remembering the conversation where Kaname first told him his real name, as he says it’s one of his most precious memories.  He brushes it off by saying that it makes sense that HiMERU wouldn’t remember, and that it’s been so long that it makes sense that things have changed, but the way and manner he continues to talk about it says to me that it does trouble him.  He’s very quick to show his support for HiMERU, in a way that isn’t really shown for anyone else but his own unit.

I really shouldn’t get into the whole HiMERU thing because that will probably double this post’s length.  But rest assured, I have a lot of thoughts on THAT, too, and how the heart of their miscommunication is solely, 100%, love for Kaname and how differently they experience that.

I think the best way to say what I want to say about them is to post a little of their final conversation, which I absolutely will.  I absolutely recommend taking a look, especially if I did a bad job of convincing you.

[vivit-s]

Why Not Me? | Written Piece

Content Warnings: Parentification/emotional neglect, exploration of mourning/grief, referenced suicide, unhealthy (& possibly sanist) views towards suicide/depression,

Author's Note: Since this is the first of these I'll be posting, let it be known that none of these writing pieces are necessary to grasp Vivit, but are simply bonus material that give a better look into the characters the way that my animatics may not.

This piece may contain spoilers. I don't think I'll have the time to explore this facet of Samuel and Vida's relationship in depth, hence why I've decided to post it, but this does contain material that hasn't been explored in my youtube content. If you want to avoid potentially risking a surprise for later content, then do not read.

Also as an obvious, what is written does not reflect my own views, only that of our characters. Vivit has never been a light story, and none of these characters are fully good people. If it makes you uncomfortable, good, that's the point. Please read at your own discretion.

---

“She meant… so much to me.”

“I know.”

Vida had heard as much millions of times by then. It was routine—down to their father crying in their arms on his bed as they just sat there, unmoving, uncertain; the icon of stoicism that they needed to be for the both of them, because if it wasn’t them, who else would it be?

“I could’ve—I could’ve saved her. She didn’t—”

“Dad, no,” they hushed, as quiet and sweet as they could manage despite their increasing annoyance, “It’s not your fault.”

It truly wasn’t. They hated the self loathing he held, the insistence he was capable of doing more, and all the more hated their mother for leaving the two of them alone, because it wasn’t fair. They shouldn’t have to be taking their father’s shaking hands in theirs, to be whispering soothing words as he slurred over his declarations of blame. They did it anyway, because they loved him, more than heaven and earth and certainly more than she ever did if they were still standing while she was dead. 

“It is,” he insisted, voice straining as he spoke, “I should’ve… should’ve done more to stop her, fuck, I—”

He broke into sobs again, and all they could do was hold him. They held back their own tears—from feeling powerless, hopeless, frustrated that all they could do was offer sympathetic stock phrases and offer what physical comfort they could. They were supposed to make him feel better, they were supposed to be the one to fix things, but they never could. Not with this.

And the yearned nothing more to say the truth—that their mother must’ve been heartless to subject him to something so cruel. Because how selfish could someone be to take their own life when they had a goddamn family—a husband who’d done nothing wrong and a child who would never even get to know her. She wasn’t someone worth his tears because if she loved him, really, truly, she would’ve stayed.

But they don’t. Because that’s not what the narrative is. She’s the saint, the woman that was too good for this cruel world. The definition of purity, the love of his life, the special someone that had never, in her life, done anything wrong and was somehow deserving of over a decade’s worth of pity. They don’t get it. They don’t understand why he’s not angry. But they’re not supposed to. They did as always, frowned, offered empty reassurances, because nothing else could be done. She was 10 feet under and no misplaced sympathy was bringing her back.

“Please—promise, promise you won’t leave me.”

He looked at them with the kind of desperation they were only granted in moments such as that night. They despised having to go through the motions as though they hadn’t so many times before—as if between the last time and that moment (4 entire days, if one could believe it), their mind had miraculously changed. 

But it’s not about them. It’s never about them. So they play along.

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

They know their father needs reassurance more than ever because he’s afraid, but it doesn’t make it sting any less—that he still can’t trust them, that he still fears that they’d be gone in an instant. They wouldn’t—couldn’t put him through that same heartache again. They were better than that. They loved him more than that.

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

The Summer I Turned Pretty Season 2 - Episode 1 to 3: Quotes

“- Escaping to your dreams is easier than living with your memories. It’s the being awake that’s the hard part.” (Belly - Episode 1)

“- You had Jeremiah, and it just wasn’t enough. You had to have Conrad, too. God, you are so fucking selfish.” (Steven - Episode 1)

“- No, no, no, no. Nothing is promised. You can’t promise anything. Sorry.” (Belly - Episode 1)

“- I’m sorry. I just, I know you’re trying your best. I don’t, I don’t expect anyone to understand what I’m going through right now, and I think I just have to deal with it alone.” (Belly - Episode 1)

“- Sorry, Mom. You know, Susannah died, remember? (Belly) - You don’t get to use Susannah’s death as an excuse. This whole year’s been hard for me, too. This isn’t about blame. This is about you and the choices you made. It’s about taking responsibility for yourself, even when things are hard. Life keeps going. You can’t just give up. (Laurel) - You want to talk about taking responsibility? You won’t even promote your book because you refuse to talk about Susannah. You gave up way before I did.” (Belly - Episode 1)

“- I knew I’d lose Susannah eventually. I just didn’t know I’d end up losing all of them. In my memory, the three of them will always be entwined, forever linked. There can’t be one without the others.” (Belly - Episode 1)

“- Jeremiah wants me to come because he’s afraid. I still know this boy better than I know almost anyone. So I’ll go for him.” (Belly - Episode 2)

“- Do you think we’ll be in when they find fout out we’re gone? (Conrad) - Oh, I’m not getting into any trouble. I’m telling everyone you kidnapped me.” (Belly - Episode 2)

“- What the hell happened with you guys? (Jeremiah) - He never said anything? (Belly)  - We don’t talk about you.” (Jeremiah - Episode 2)

“- Okay, not to be, like, a dick or anything, but you seem less devastated than I expected. I mean, considering you were practically swallowing his tongue last night. (Steven) - Leave it to you to make kissing sound disgusting. (Taylor) - Anyways, you could do better.” (Steven - Episode 2)

“- Belly, you were my best friend. We hooked up, and then you hooked up with my brother. And then everyone expected me to act like I was fine, and I wasn’t! (Jeremiah) - Okay, well the last thing that we wanted, that... I wanted, was to hurt you. And that’s why Conrad and I didn’t get together at the end of the summer. (Belly) - Yeah, Belly, for what? All of five minutes? That was just so you guys wouldn’t look bad. (Jeremiah) - I mean, you were seeing other people. We thought you were over it. (Belly) - Because otherwise, I was that pathetic loser that was keeping you guys apart. Sorry for what? For Conrad dumping you? Did you really not see that coming, Belly? Because I sure did. (Jeremiah) - I’m sorry because I miss you. I’ve missed you for months. That’s why I called you last night. (Belly) - Yeah, because Conrad wasn’t picking up. (Jeremiah) - Jere, you are the one I called, not him. Look, when Susannah was sick, I was so focused on Conrad and one being there for him, and I should have been there for you, too, okay? And I forgot about you. And I hate myself for that. I... Jere... I hate that I let you down. (Belly) - It happened so fast. Belly, it was really, really bad. I had Dad and Conrad sort of, but I needed you, and you just weren’t there. You left me. (Jeremiah) - I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere.” (Belly - Episode 2)

“- But it’s not good enough for an event in New York with a bunch of other famous writers. (Saleswoman) - I’m about as unfamous as a writer can be. (Laurel) - You can’t be unfamous if I’ve heard of you.” (Saleswoman - Episode 2)

“- Wait, wait, wait. But they’re not even talking. Why-why would Jere call her and not me? (Steven) - I don’t know. Maybe ‘cause you’re such a pain in the ass all the time. (Taylor) - Okay, I’ll let her try and clean up her mess.” (Steven - Episode 2)

“- I don’t want anybody else touching you like I do.” (Song - Episode 2)

“- Yeah. You always could read my mind. (Belly) - I’m glad it’s back anyway, our ESP. (Jeremiah) - Oh. I know that you’re not eating any pie because... mm, you’re worried about ruining your abs. (Belly) - I mean, they are a service to mankind. (Jeremiah). - Nicole! (Belly) - Gigi’s dad got caught in some insider trading thing and they had to sell their house. And Shayla’s in Europe with her parents all summer. And so the gang’s broken up. But I guess that was bound to happen at some point. You still have my number? (Nicole) - We both know I won’t call. I doesn’t feel the same as last summer.” (Belly - Episode 2)

“- Why does he still have this pull on me? I don’t want to see him. And I can’t wait for it all at the same time.” (Belly - Episode 2)

“- Ooh. That feels good. (Conrad) - Yeah, that’s ‘cause you’re cold-hearted. (Belly) - For everyone else, maybe. Not for you. (Conrad) - I want it to be with you.” (Belly - Episode 2) 

“- We went to Brown to check on you ass. You know what? I didn’t think you’d pull this shit again. But you don’t give a shit about anyone but yourself.” (Jeremiah - Episode 2)

“- There is nothing more beautiful than this. This particular sunset. It can match the beauty of anything in this world ten times over. No matter what’s happened, you can feel the tension of the day drifting away and out to sea. I want to memorize it all, because... you never know the last time you’ll see a place, a person.” (Belly - Episode 3)

“- You’d think someone would have invented an easier system by now. (Belly) - If I wasn’t so fucking tired, I’d probably leave tonight. My mom would always fix everything up before we got here. (Jeremiah) - Yeah. The house feels different without her in it.” (Belly - Episode 3)

“- The truth is, the hardest part about being here isn’t Conrad. Back home, I can almost believe Susannah isn’t really gone. But here at the beach house, she’s everywhere and nowhere.” (Belly - Episode 3)

“- You know, he keeps saying he’s going to figure things out. He hasn’t figured out shit.” (Jeremiah - Episode 3)

“- Uh, Conrad may have listened to me at one point, but I don’t think he cares what I think anymore.” (Belly - Episode 3)

“- I know this is hard with everything going on. (Conrad) - Please don’t shut me out. (Belly) - I feel like I just keep disappointing you. Belly, don’t leave it like this. (Conrad) - You... you are the one that made it like this.” (Belly - Episode 3)

“- You know, Conrad just pushes people away when he needs them most. (Belly) - There’s only so many times I can take being pushed. It’s fucking exhausting.” (Jeremiah)

“- I mean, then, you know, why would you want to let go of such a-a magical place?” (Jeremiah)

“- What? Is Mr. I Don’t Believe in College having an existential crisis? God, does he even know what “existential” means? I bet you he thinks “SAT” stands for “stupid-ass test.” (Steven) - Can I tell you something? Not everyone measures people’s worth by what Ivy they go to.” (Taylor - Episode 3)

“- I know you worked really hard for it. It just... sometimes it feels like you think that you’re better and smarter than everyone. Uh, including me. Can you tell me what has you all in your feelings so that it can stop being weird? (Taylor) - Does Belly really think I don’t care about Susannah’s death? Am I an asshole? (Steven) - Probably, but that’s not why. Steven, everyone processes things differently, you know? I mean, my therapist says that happiness and grief can coexist. And that’s completely fine. (...) So we just drove all day to show up somewhere uninvited? (Taylor) - Look, I wanted to be there for them, all right? So I invited myself. I’m sorry. (Steven) - Also, gate crashing 101 says we can’t show up empty-handed, so keep an eye out for somewhere to stop. (Taylor) - Just don’t change my seat setting.” (Steven - Episode 3)

“- I should have known it was bad news. Bad news is the only kind that really can’t wait.” (Belly - Episode 3)

“- She was helping me. (Conrad) - So you’ll accept her help but not mine? Got it. Glad to know where I fall in the ranking of ex-girlfriends. (Belly) - Grow up. (Conrad) - Go to hell. (Belly) - I should have known you’d be like this. (Conrad) - What do you mean? (Belly) - Forget it. (Conrad) - No, say it. Tell me. (Belly) - I knew it was a bad idea, starting something with you. (Conrad) - I don’t believe you. (Belly) - It was a huge mistake. (Conrad) - I hate you. (Belly) - Good (Conrad) - I never want to see you again.” (Belly - Episode 3)

“- I’ll never let myself be affected by him like that again. I can’t. If I did, it would destroy me.” (Belly  - Episode 3)

“- Guys, I had my lawyers look into any possible loopholes right after the funeral, but there’s none. Okay? The house is legally Julia’s. And believe it or not, I’m just as upset as you are about it.” (Jeremiah and Conrad’s dad - Episode 3) --> Btw this is not accurate and legally wrong!

“- You know, I just feel everyone’s slipping away, and-and the house is the last thing tying us together. (Jeremiah) - We’re not giving up. We’re gonna figure something else out. I feel like us all hanging around the open house tomorrow and being pains in the asses is a pretty good place to start. I’m sure Aunt Julia would love that. Let’s fuck some shit up.” (Conrad - Episode 3)

“- Maybe Julia was right. Susannah did believe Cousins was a fantasy world. But she made me believe, too. So maybe I can make sure it stays that way.” (Belly - Episode 3)

[grumpygreenwitch]

The Fairy and the Prince #6 +#7 + #8

Part 1 - Part 2 - Parts 3 & 4 - Part 5 - Part 6, 7 & 8 - Part 9 & 10 - Part 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 & 16 - Part 17, 18, & 19 - Part 20, 21 & 22 - Part 23, 24, 25 & 26 - Part 27, 28, 29 & 30 - Part 31, 32, 33 & 34 - Part 35, 36 & 37 - Part 38, 39, 40 & 41 - Part 42 & 43 - Part 44 & 45 - Part 46 & 47 - Part 48, 49, 50 & 51 - Part, 52, 53 & 54 - Part 55 & 56 - Part 57, 58, 59 & 60 - Part 61, 62, 63, 64 & 65 - Part 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71 & 72

Alright, I managed to sort out the queue, and realized there are a lot of updates. Like. A LOT. Which makes me fret, because I want the story to be read, you know? I want to know people enjoy it. And waiting until March of next year for it to be anywhere near done (it isn’t), seems far too long a time. So the updates are going to get a little bigger where possible.

Spring was sweet and summer was golden, and fall rolled in rich and blustery and full of bright colors. Three princes, the oldest, went into the woods; one of them came back. The next day, when he went to saddle his charger in the stables, the horse trampled him quite dead.

The palace staff had to acknowledge that, perhaps and possibly, there was something to the rumors of a fairy curse. Master Leminy requested more guards, and got them. New teachers arrived from a distant land, and new classes were offered to the older boys. All of this passed Adam by unnoticed; he was far more focused on wringing as much fun as he could from his time with Linden, well knowing it would come to an end with the first snow. He didn't ask why. The what and the how and the why of Linden were things that Adam knew were dangerous topics of conversation, and he didn't want them to cost him his friend. Instead he simply accepted Linden as they were, which was easy enough when their days were too filled with adventures and mischief.

He did ask one thing, as they perched on a long-forgotten dock over a deep, ice-cold pond in the middle of the hunting woods. "Are you sorry I don't have more friends?"

"No," Linden replied without missing a beat, watching as fish nibbled mud from between both their toes. "You'd be with them, instead of with me."

"No, I mean, are you sorry it's just the two of us?"

"Are you?" The shattered, many-colored eyes came up sharply to meet his.

"No, but." Adam looked away, kicking idly at the water. He'd been thinking on it for a long while, and had decided that being taught to be a king was far too big a job for him. It put ideas in his head that did nothing but hurt. "I feel selfish, is all," he muttered.

"Selfish!" Linden exclaimed. "Selfish, you!"

"Because you don't get to do anything else. You're stuck with me."

"Stuck with you!" Linden shoved him and laughed. "We're both the youngest, Adam. It's not being stuck with one another, is being together against everyone else!"

"I still feel bad about it!" Adam couldn't help but smile. "Maybe your family wouldn't think you're silly if you had more friends."

"Ugh, who cares what they think," Linden flopped back on the worn planks of the dock. "And where would we even find friends? With all those Princes in the palace? How confusing would that get, all those faces and they're all called Prince."

"They're not called that, Linden, it's their title. They've got their own names too."

"Pfft." Linden flapped a hand in dismissal. "They wouldn't like me."

"What!"

"They wouldn't!" Linded persisted. "They're afraid of the woods and the fog."

"Shouldn't they be?"

"Well, fine, sure, alright, maybe a little. But I don't fancy trying to make friends with people who are afraid of me before I've even done anything."

Adam had to be silent, simply because Linden was right. It was one thing for the palace staff to gossip and whisper and consider the possibility that there might be fairies in the woods, that they might have a compact with the Dowager, that there might be a terrible price to pay for any prince that wanted to be king. But for the princes themselves it was awfully personal to know they might get yanked into the woods one day, and they might never come back out. Adam wasn't afraid because, in his child's heart, he believed Linden would protect him. He believed Linden would always be there to catch him when his fingers slipped from the ledge. And he was wise enough to realize his was a unique protection, afforded to no one else.

He didn't bring it up again. The conversation, apparently, had a much greater impact on Linden than he'd expected, because three days later, on a very blustery day, he was dragged into a goat shed, empty at the moment with the flock out to pasture. There, in the dim and warm straw-scented shelter, there was a boulder.

"Absolute!" Adam exclaimed. The boulder was three times as large as the two of them combined. "How'd you even get it in here?!"

Linden blew a rude sound at him. "You're so blind, Adam." They jabbed a finger sharply into the boulder.

It groaned and whined in protest, and Adam took a startled step back. "Did you just hurt the boulder?"

"It's not a boulder," Linden replied archly. "You can sleep later!" they yelled at the boulder-that-wasn't. "You've been bugging me two years running, now come on!"

The boulder unfolded itself, very slowly, and Adam blinked, trying to figure out how he could have ever thought it was a boulder at all. The creature before him - a boy, it was a boy, his mind told him very certainly, was tall and lanky, with immensely broad shoulders and astonishingly long arms, the rest of its body narrow. His face was rough and uneven, with a very long and sharp nose, tiny and soulful brown eyes under bushy brows, a mop of dark, clay-colored hair.

"Well, go on," Linden urged impatiently.

"Don't be mean, he's scared. I would be too, if I kept getting poked," Adam shot back.

"Ugh, fine, I'm sorry I poked him. I'm sorry I poked you."

The immense, strange boy looked between Adam and Linden, and then offered a big hand.

"Gently," Linden warned.

Adam took the offered hand and shook it, feeling the strength in that grip, carefully controlled. It was like shaking hands with... well, not a mountain, but certainly a small hill. The skin was cool and pebbled. "It's a pleasure to meet you. Are you Linden's friend?"

"He's my younger brother," Linden replied solemnly.

Adam cocked his head and pressed his lips tightly shut. He looked at the boy, who was taller than the both of them together, who outmassed them like a horse outmasses a chicken. He rubbed his hair and said nothing for a long moment, trying to think of anything he'd been taught about being princely and kingly that would not sound mean. "... Younger?"

"Ugh!" Linden cried out all the same and kicked straw at him. "You are so judgy, Adam! Never mind that." They turned their attention back to the newcomer. "Go on, then, like we practiced. Tell him what you want him to call you."

Adam drew himself up very straight. He even laced his hands behind his back, like he'd seen the Dowager do at court. "What may I call you?" he asked in his most polite, most princely voice.

Linden's 'younger brother' drew himself up just as straight, fingers wriggling nervously before him. A mouth Adam had never seen, a gap in that narrow face, puckered. "Booooouuuuuuulllllll...."

There the youngling's breath ran out. They waited in the blustery, rich autumn silence, Linden rocking on their feet, Adam trying to be patient. They waited, and waited, and waited some more.

A thin snore came out of the young boy's mouth.

"You did it again!" Linden shoved their 'younger brother', who staggered awake and moaned in wordless embarrassment.

"No, wait, it's fine. Really, it's fine, Linden!" Adam stepped between the two. "Don't be so mean to him! Little kids sleep all the time when they're young!"

"Well, yes, but we'd practiced! And he's been begging me forever to bring him with me, and since you were talking about friends, I thought -"

"And I'm very glad to meet him!" Adam assured them hastily. "It doesn't have to be perfect, Linden. It's not like we're at court or I'm a king or something." He beamed into those shattered eyes, and then turned to offer his hand to the boy once again. "It's very nice to meet you, Boul."

"'s Boulder," Linden muttered. "For Boulders-for-brains."

"I think Boul might be easier for you, right, Boul? At least until you get a little older?" The boy nodded eagerly. "I'm Prince Adam Lestrelle, but it's fine to just call me Adam."

"Adam," the boy croaked. He had a bullfrog's voice, coarse and abrupt.

Adam turned to look at Linden. "You didn't have to," he said quietly.

Linden shrugged, looking down. "I know. But I didn't want you to feel selfish. And maybe I've been a little selfish myself. And anyways, he can't come all the time, light's hard on him. And they keep being horrible to him -"

"Horrible?"

"On account of he's so small."

"Small?!"

"For his age, I mean."

Adam stared at Boul, who looked woebegone and ashamed. "Well, that's stupid. I think he's just fine the way he is. And I'd be glad to be his friend."

Linden hugged him abruptly. "Thank you." And then shoved him. "Well, he can't climb so I figured we could go see the mushroom caves."

"There's caves?!" Adam was beginning to reel from far too many surprises.

"Honestly, Adam, don't these people teach you anything useful. Come on!"

***

The caves were not particularly large or extraordinary, but to three younglings left to their own wild devices they were everything. They had the rest of autumn to explore them, to fight dragons made of stalactites and find great hoards of priceless beetle shells and broken bits of quartz, to learn the language of bats, of blind, pale lizards and of trundling mushroom folk. They found the aquifer, far beyond the  surface, and met the pale, beautiful, singing creatures there, that sometimes might grant a wish if it were small, in exchange for a token thrown into one of many wells on the surface. In the dim glow of the mushrooms it was hard to see one's way for anyone but Boul. Adam fell once, when the path under his feet went straight down a cliff-face where he could neither hear nor see the bottom, and for once it wasn't Linden's hand around his wrist that saved him; it was the young troll catching the scruff of his shirt and pulling him back up. Adam clapped one of his shoulders and ran on, shaking his stinging hand. Boul puffed up like a freshly knighted squire.

Winter came and winter went, and once again Adam put the time to use catching up on his studies. Master Leminy had to sit with gritted teeth and a frozen, atrocious smile on his face while the teachers gushed that the youngest prince was the equal in his studies of many of those that counted fifteen or sixteen years. Adam learned to ride with a couched lance, which seemed to him the height of stupidity. If someone came at him on horseback with a big old giant piece of wood, the first thing to do would be to take the horse out from under them, not come at them with another big old giant piece of wood. But he was to learn, and learn he did; he was the youngest still, and small enough he could practically disappear behind his shield. If he braced it just right on his jousting saddle, no one could move him, lance or not.

He kept bringing Dane to his pugilism classes. The teacher couldn't complain, it gave Adam someone his age to spar with, even if the young boy was shooting up in every direction. The students couldn't complain, it spared them having to spar with Adam, who had developed a habit of going kicky and bitey like a feral squirrel when they didn't pull their punches, which was often. And Dane certainly wasn't complaining; he loved the learning almost as much as books bored him to sleep. Master Leminy tried to complain, but Adam wisely pointed out that Dane had been *his* choice of companion, and if he were to someday become a king's man-at-arms, he would need to know how to fight side-by-side and back-to-back with his liege. Unless, of course, the Master of Scions had chosen Dane for another reason?

He had tea with the Dowager on his twelfth birthday, squirming. The silver-haired Queen examined him far too keenly with his mother's eyes, and her bland questions about the progress of his studies didn't seem harmless anymore.

She wanted to know if he'd gone into the woods. He shrugged. Everyone went into the woods.

She asked him if he'd made any unusual friends. He nodded. Beli could read numbers like some people read letters. Who even did that?!

She instructed master Leminy to start his deportment lessons. Adam could have died of shame on the spot, but as the news spread they bought him, at last, an ounce of pity from his peers; none of them wanted to sit for two endless hours listening to some young lady-in-waiting or another droning on about spoons and forks and napkins and tea and how many sugar cubes were too many. Fortunately Arditty knew as well as Adam that he would never be king and, much to his surprise, offered him the same deal he'd once offered Beli and Dane. The only caveat was that he had to hide where she bid him while she went necking and kissing with whatever boy currently held her interest; that usually meant the drawing rooms overlooking a snow-choked garden or a tiny inner courtyard, reading and doing homework two years ahead of his age while Arditty's maid did the mending. She snuck pastries and cheese to the boys, and they would have done anything for her.

Rickard ambushed Adam in the closed jousting courtyard two days after his birthday. He would be fifteen soon, he informed Adam as the older prince's buddies pinned the youngest of their number down, and too old to be picking fights with babies.

In the ensuing brawl, Dane broke Rickard's nose. Everyone was dragged off to punishment detail looking sorry and bedraggled, and neither Alexander nor Ulster would be seen in Rickard's company again. Dane looked flustered and guiltily pleased under Adam's praise.

Spring came once again, and as snow dripped and plopped off the roofs and ledges, Adam took his courage in his hands and asked his winter-friends a dangerous question. "Would you like to know where I go during the year?"

Dane instantly threw his hands up, shook his head and walked away. Beli seemed to think on it very hard. "I'm curious," he admitted, as careful with his words as he was with his reading. "I'm not going to say I'm not. I've always been. But I think..." He glanced at Dane. "If it's what I think it is, I think it's best if we don't, highness."

"You know what it is," Adam guessed.

"I think I do," the boy corrected. "And it doesn't bode well for anyone."

"But why? It's not like I'm going to be king. I'm barely a prince as it is."

Beli chewed restlessly on his upper lip. "I think you need to talk to the Culli-maid about it, highness. This is a courtly matter, like."

Adam did. With Arditty ignoring his education completely, her maid had stepped in to fill in the gap, sort of. She'd begun life as a scullery maid, back when she'd been quite as young as Adam, if not more so. 'Culli-maid', she'd called herself, and it had stuck. Her real name was Sophronia, which no one back then had cared to learn to pronounce, and which she loathed it anyways. The young prince caught her on a bright and sunny afternoon after a heavy snowfall, while Arditty and a new suitor played outside like young and awkward fawns.

"Culli, you know it was my birthday not so long ago."

She nodded. In her meek and low voice, she offered. "Happy Birthday, highness."

"Thank you," Adam flushed as he hadn't before anyone else's good wishes. "The Dowager was asking me questions during tea."

Culli set her mending down and examined him with shrewd brown eyes. "About the woods?" When he nodded, she stared out the window. "Do you want me to tell you what is said or what is known?"

Adam hesitated. "Can't you tell me both?"

She bit down a smile. "I could. It's the wise thing to do. I forget you're wiser than most." When he wriggled under the praise, she reached out to tuck his cravat back in place. "They say that a fairy prince fell in love with the Queen, back when she was a princess."

"But she's not married."

"Oh, she's been married. She's been married thrice, that's known to all. But back then, they say that she laughed at him, dismissed him, disdained his promises of wealth and power and love."

Adam, having seen Arditty do the same to a boy every week like clockwork, and having lived through the unavoidable consequences of it, grimaced, his gaze turning towards the glass-paned windows. Culli, catching sight of what the prince was looking at, nodded. "Aye. Like that, but a hundred times, a thousand times worse. They're wild and alien, the Folk In The Woods, highness. They don't think as we do, they aren't as we are. When one of them steps forward to meet us halfway, it's wise to at least make an effort to meet them back. The Queen did none of it, that anyone knows of. They say the Folk In The Woods killed two of her husbands. The last one came back, but didn't. You know what I mean, don't you?"

Adam nodded, horrified.

"She was Queen then already, and that's not the sort of thing a Queen can abide. It's bad for the people, it's bad for the land, and it's bad for keeping the crown steady on her head. So, this we know, she went looking for them. She went looking for her prince. They say she found him, his love turned to poison. But she was Queen and he was just a prince, and she forced a peace out of him. Of sorts."

"I wouldn't want anything I force out of a fairy. It's sure to be a trap."

She tapped his nose with a work-roughened finger. "You're wiser than most, I already did say. She was not to be wed anymore. If he couldn't have her, no one could. I suppose he doesn't know what a favor he did her. They say the Folk In The Woods wanted her to put one of their own on the throne, and she wouldn't let them. They say she had to agree to let them at least help in the choosing of the heir, or they would let there be no heir at all, and the crown would go to ruin."

"Help." Adam felt terribly cold. His clothes, so warm and comfortable a moment before, chafed him like burrs. He could hardly breathe around a lump in his throat. "Help in the choosing."

"You should never take anything you force out of a fairy," Culli repeated his words to him. "Particularly if it looks like it's a gift."

"Haven't they met anyone they like?"

"I don't think it's the meeting a prince they like, highness." Culli shrugged, picking up her needle. "I think it's meeting someone they like more than the prince hates. And he's had a lot of time to build up his hating."

***

Adam, unable to sleep that night, sat on a windowsill and thought on what Culli had said. He weighted it all, Dane's reaction and Beli's caution and the maid's story, against his friendship with Linden, his head full of worries too great for a twelve-year-old boy, except that he was a prince that might be a king and such worries were his to carry. Even if he didn't want to.

He was afraid, of course. He was worried. But, and this was an important difference that he couldn't quite figure out, he wasn't afraid of Linden, or Boul. At all. Not in the way he should be. Boul could be clumsy with his strength, but he was trying so hard, you could always see it. And he was terribly young, you could see that too.

And Linden, well. Linden was Linden. His friend, forever and always.

Did they know of the Queen's bargain?

Adam perked up as the answer came to him at last. Yes, Linden probably knew, of the prince and his hatred and the agreement and everything else. But the thing was, to Linden there was always a very clear, absolute difference. Whenever they spoke of the Court it was always "them", not "us". Not "we". Linden though of the Court as a separate, alien, unwelcome thing that they wanted nothing to do with. It was such a foundation of their person, their character, such a vast part of their heart, that Adam couldn't imagine his white-haired wild friend abiding with them, even a little bit.

On the other hand, the Court thought Linden silly for spending time with Adam, and in a very cruel way the young prince understood why at last. Why waste your time with someone you know is going to die?

Was he going to die?

"No," he muttered to the cradle of his arms.

He didn't want to be king. And he suspected that, when it came to the choosing, to the 'helping', that fact would matter more than anything else the Queen Dowager or the Folk In The Woods could come up with.

[h3adsh0t]

Hey, I’m making this post on this new account real quick because I think I really need some advice or something. Please try to read everything. If you have any advice or questions or comments to give me that may help me, even just a little bit, please dm me.

So, just for some background about me, I’m 16 years old and just got into my junior year. I live in Louisiana with my mom, stepdad, and half brother. Also, I’m a straight (bi curious) boy.

I don’t know why, but for the past year now I’ve been having a lot of really shitty suicidal thoughts and all that. I don’t know if I wanna go to any therapy or my parents or any friends about these thoughts though. Everyone I open up in front of anybody for any reason, I just start crying a lot. And I completely hate crying in front of anyone because I’m scared they’ll think I’m some scared or selfish pussy that can’t handle simple things or anything like that.

I’ve always been incredibly shy and introverted so I usually always worry about what basically anyone thinks of me. Anytime someone at school even glances at me, they look away and that makes me think that they think I’m ugly or look weird or something. Anytime I walk past someone in the halls and hear people laughing, I always think they’re laughing at me for either my hair looking shitty, me being a bit chubby, or something else.

I’ve never been popular in school. I feel like most people in my grade just kinda know who I am but don’t care enough to talk to. I’m just the guy they look at and say “oh it’s that guy”, and then move on. And I’m honestly fine with that. I’m fine with being the quiet kid who just wants to do his work and go home. The problem is that my school is filled to the brim with gangster-wannabe type kids who just never know when to leave people alone. And I never wanna tell them to go away or leave me be because I’m scared they’ll get mad and hit me or something or just give me dirty looks I guess. I genuinely feel like I can’t go anywhere in that damn place without getting harassed by a bunch of asshats.

I never really leave my house outside of school. I still need to learn to drive and I’m planning on applying at Subway soon for a first job. I spend most of my free time at home either binging YouTube, TV, Movies, Anime, Cartoons, playing video games, working out in the evenings, and a lot of sleeping.

I also think I might have a few undiagnosed mental disorders. Whenever I’m alone by myself, I just talk to myself. I constantly imagine myself in different scenarios and situations. It might be BPD but idk. I have a fuck ton of weird interests that most people are not into, especially around where I live.

I’m also really scared of my adult future. I want to eventually go to Full Sail Uni in Florida and become a successful screenwriter. A lot of my family calls me really creative so I think it’d be a good job for me, plus I just like making stories and writing in general. However, there’s a ton of more things I’m terrified of. I have no clue how things like taxes, insurance, business deals, applications, the DMV, bills, basically anything having to do with just being an adult scares me. I can do the basic shit like laundry, washing dishes, cleaning, sometimes cooking, etc. But everything else just scares me.

When it comes to friends and relationships, I think I have probably some of the worst trust issues on the planet. I’m constantly scared of going over to friends’ houses because I think they’ll judge me for something dumb, so I never really go over to any of them and I just stay home all day. I’m also incredibly scared of getting into any relationships with girls because these days, everytime I go on twitter, or Reddit, or TikTok, I feel like I’m seeing some new story about people cheating on each other and not being faithful. Or I’ll see another story about people dating someone as a joke, or a dare, or just to mess with them. It’s made me so terrified of dating out of fear that it’ll happen to me too, or I’ll say something bad or too weird and they’ll think I’m a freak and leave, or something will happen and they’ll have to move. And it sucks because I wanna be able to just hang out with my friends without stressing. I wanna be able to date something sweet and kind and caring and fun. I wanna be with someone that I can hold and take care of on their bad days. I want someone I can be weird with I guess. I just want people who I know won’t leave me.

I don’t know why I’m so damn anxious all the time. I don’t know why I’m stressed. I don’t know why I’m scared. I don’t know why I’m so shy. This is just kind of how I am.

I’m sorry for making this so long, I just really needed to get this all off of my chest and I didn’t really have anywhere else to go. If you have any questions or anything, please feel free to DM me at any time.

Love to all of you and I hope you have a good rest of your day. Or night.

[chiyannad]

Eighttale | Chapter 1: The Souls

The inky darkness had formed at his mere whim, an expression of the emptiness that he’d felt for so long where his soul was meant to be. It had been a good backdrop for the spectacular light show that he’d performed. But at that moment, everything was still. The absence of anything was stifling, leading his mind to wander back to the things that haunted him. The memories had freshly hit before, but now it was just their echoes. It didn’t matter if he was forgiven, what he had done was unforgivable. Asriel felt it right that being in his old form would bring him all this misery. He should never be allowed happiness.

He couldn’t remain this way either, it was another wrong that had led him to this. He had stolen the souls of so many to use for his own selfish goals. He had to make this right by giving them all back. And then, he would go back to being that…thing. He couldn’t stand the thought of it, going back to not being able to feel any of the love or guilt that now made him want to do the right thing. But he didn’t have a choice. Still, he felt hope bursting against his chest, and knew that there was something he had to do while he had such power. The thing he had died in vain for could finally be achieved. “I can’t keep these souls inside of me. The least I can do is return them.”

‘What do you mean by that?’ a voice inside his head asked. It sounded rough and cold.

Asriel’s eyes widened, where has this voice come from? It wasn’t his inner voice, nor was it a voice he remembered hearing before… Wait, it had to be one of the souls! How could he be so careless as to let them wake up now? What if they panicked, what if they hated him, what if they rebelled and got away? It wasn’t like he was planning on keeping them, but he needed to do a couple things first or else…things could turn out very badly for everyone.

‘Howdy, you must be a little scared right now and I’m sorry about that,’ he thought clearly, hoping it was enough to respond, ’but I'm not going to hurt you. As soon as I break the barrier I’m going to return the souls of everybody. So you’ll be free of me soon.’

‘But we have no-where to return to! We’re all dead! Unless you mean return us to the soul canisters.’ The soul spat, this response was…unexpected.

‘He wouldn’t!’ another soul squeaked in fear, ‘Would he? A-anywhere but there…’

A shudder went up Asriel’s spine, he couldn’t tell if it was prompted by the soul, or by his own flashbacks as he remembered how empty he felt as a body with no soul. He wondered whether it was just as bad, or even worse, to be a soul with no body.

‘I…I’m sorry, I didn’t know how awful that was for you all. But no, you’re not going back there. I was never going to put you back there. I was just going to release you and…’ Asriel trailed off as he heard someone fidgeting.

Looking up, he saw the other child, standing there looking just a tad confused; when their eyes met the child smiled at him.

“Sorry about that Frisk…a couple of the souls woke up and seemed rather anxious, s-scared even, about what would happen when I released them,” Asriel explained.

Asriel heard Frisk mumbling under their breath, “That didn’t happen before…”

Before? What does Frisk mean by that? This is the first timeline where they’ve seen me in this form. In fact, there’s only a handful of timelines where they reached the end of their journey at all, most were reset before then. I should remember all of them, right? So then, why don’t I? And…if I don’t and Frisk does, what does that mean? Why wouldn’t they tell me?

The rough voice cut into his thoughts, ‘Because they’re probably hiding something awful from you.’

No, why was he thinking like this…it reminded him too much of a certain plant, and this particular soul wasn’t helping by adding to the paranoia, ‘Mind telling me what it is, if you’re so sure of that?’

‘No idea, I don’t remember either. But it’s probably something they feel really bad for, something they feel you’re better off not knowing,’ they replied.

“Asriel?” Frisk asked, bringing them back out of their own mind.

“Yes?” maybe Frisk was about to tell him…without Asriel even needing to ask.

“Can you ask the souls if they’d rather go back to their bodies or…well…move on to…the next life?” Frisk seemed less sure of themself than usual.

“O-ok,” he replied, a bit disappointed.

‘What-’

‘You don’t need to ask us silly, we heard what Frisk said,’ it was a different soul from the two before, with a melodic feminine voice which held a teasing tone at the moment.

They’re interrupted by the squeaky soul, sounding more calm now, but still quiet, ‘But isn’t it nice when someone actually asks you something? Instead of just hearing it second-hand about you? I think it’s quite nice of him.’

‘Thanks, I’m glad you appreciate it, but they do have a point…I guess I forgot you guys can hear everything I do.’ Asriel thought, trying not to be awkward.

‘I guess I can’t blame you since this is new for all of us.’ He could sense the melodic soul’s unease, ‘But, uh, wouldn’t putting us back in our bodies be a bad idea? I don’t remember a whole lot right now, but I’m pretty sure I, at least, have been...dead for a while now.’

‘Oh, oh, uh, y-yeah,’ suddenly he felt rather embarrassed and inadequate. He knew the bodies had taken damage when they died, and knew that human bodies tended to turn to dust over time compared to monster bodies that did so right away. He also knew that some efforts had been taken to preserve them, but those efforts involved toxic substances that were likely to kill them again if they remained. He pushed away his memories of finding the bodies as Flowey, knowing that the souls would likely be able to at least catch a glimpse of them should they play in his mind. His innate healing magic was now amplified by the power of the souls, along with powers over the structure of the very world itself and all the souls in it. So he was hopeful he could heal up the bodies and draw any toxins out of them. But apparently he hadn’t made those thoughts clear enough since they had woken up, ‘I think I’m powerful enough to fully heal your bodies to their former condition. If I could, would you want that?’

It was silent for a moment, and Asriel was afraid he might’ve upset them, perhaps they’d caught onto his less clear thoughts he hadn’t meant to be heard, he wasn’t really sure. But after a pause the soul answered, ‘It’s worth a try. I want to see things again, do things again, and experience things again! I know it might not be possible…but still, it’d be nice. It’s been so long of not doing anything, not being able to collect my own thoughts…’ as they trail off, Asriel feels a spike of fear within.

‘I…I don’t want to die!’ he realizes that much of the fear came from the quiet yet scared soul, but some of it came from others as well, ‘I don’t want to be alone again! I don’t want it all to be over. I can feel so many people around me right now and it’s…nice, a bit weird, but nice. And it’s not so weird since I’ve woken up and others have as well, I’m able to actually talk to people again! I don’t want to lose you all after I just found you! I-I…guess I shouldn’t be feeling so strongly about strangers…but I h-haven’t talked to anyone in so…so…long…I-I-” they broke off into…sobs? How does one cry inside of someone else? But their emotions influenced Asriel, along with the emotions of the other souls who felt similar to this one. Tears began to well in his own eyesockets. I’m about to cry again! I’m such a crybaby.

‘It’s alright now, shhh, you’re gonna be alright. That’s not gonna happen, sugar. We’re here, alright? And we ain’t going away. We’re going to get our bodies back. And even if we don’t, I’m not going to leave you, you won’t ever be alone again.’ This new voice rang with a familiarity that made him ache inside. It felt like his mother and father in one, except…higher pitched. Like his own, except feminine.

‘Yeah! Even if we don’t come back to life, we’ll get to see what’s beyond it! It’ll be an epic adventure! And we’ll go on it together. Though, I’d rather explore some more in this life before I go… Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to see the great beyond, it’s nothing to be afraid of, it’s just…we’ll have plenty of time for that later!’ The encouragement of another new soul reminds Asriel of a certain skeleton, so he tries his best to distance himself as more feelings of guilt start to well up inside.

‘T-thanks for trying to cheer me up, guys. It means a lot. Do you really think we’ll be able to…stay together, no matter what?’

‘I know it! I feel it deep down inside my…’ realizing what they were saying, the usually loud, enthusiastic voice hesitated a moment before continuing sheepishly, ‘well, inside me, I guess!’

‘Oh my gosh,’ the melodic sounding soul says between laughs, ‘you’re such a dork!’

‘What are you laughing at?! I’m not a dork!’ huffed the soul in response, causing the other one to laugh even more. At least this interaction appeared to make everyone more amused than scared for the moment.

Asriel tried his best to block off his lingering feelings of guilt, instead choosing to focus on the mission at hand, ‘I’m sorry to interrupt, but I still need an answer from the two I haven’t heard from.’ He thought it quite odd that the soul that first woke up hadn’t said anything, they seemed to have so much to say before. For a moment, they felt their presence, almost like they were looking at Asriel…glaring perhaps? No…not quite that. Did that mean that even though he hadn’t formed that thought further, the souls could still hear? Or perhaps sense the gist of it?

‘Well, I’ve always thought that you can accomplish anything you put your mind to! You just have to keep going, even when it’s hard. We’re about to break the barrier! I wanted to help with that- wait am I sure? Yes I remember something about that, anyway, that’s not important! Surely, if we can do something that impossible, we can also come back! I know we can.’ The final soul he had yet to hear from thought so quickly that Asriel had trouble picking up on every word.

‘Right,’ Asriel smiles at the optimism, but there’s still a soul who hasn’t made their preference known yet. It seems…maybe they don’t want to, or haven’t decided? Still, Frisk is waiting.

“All but one of the souls want to come back. And that’s just because one of them hasn’t said anything yet,” Asriel informed them.

“I…see,” Frisk looked down, was that worry in their gaze?

“I’m going to try and bring them back to life when I break the barrier. With power equivalent to seven human souls, I hope I can,” Asriel told Frisk, “do you think it’ll work?”

“I…I…don’t know,” they shifted uncomfortably, “But, maybe…we can test it out and see? Before you release them all at once, I mean.” Some of the human souls felt anxious or uneasy, and others felt relieved at this suggestion. The conflicting emotions were enough to make Asriel feel woozy.

“Test it out? But how will I break the barrier then?”

“You can still save and load,” Frisk reminded him, sounding confident and cheerful, but he knew they were clasping their hands behind their back, like they did when nervous, “As long as you don’t release the souls all at once, you should have more than enough determination to do so and when you load your save, the soul should still be with you.”

“Oh, right…how could I forget?” he laughs nervously. He thought all that was behind them now. Even when he turned back into Flowey, he would not have those powers again. And he was glad for it…who knew what could happen otherwise?

‘Everything’s going to work out alright. And I ain’t in the least bit angry with you,’ one of the souls said, but that only got his mind to race more. How much do they really know? The other souls remained silent, he could feel subtle encouragement and reassurances offered through their feelings. But he felt other emotions not so pleasant stirring too, they weren’t clear, and he didn’t linger on them enough to sort out what they were. It was fine. He deserved to be judged and hated. He couldn’t blame them for feeling that way, not at all, there was only himself to blame.

“Hey, you’re not him. You’re doing the right thing now, OK?” Frisk put a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah…I guess so,” he said, forcing a smile. He was going to help these kids, and not do so in a reckless way. He was sure the test would be successful, and then he’d fade back into being a soulless flower. But at least he wouldn’t have power over time and space anymore, and that way he’d never hurt anyone…ever again. **** If you're interested in reading more of this story, the next 4 chapters are already up on Ao3 (Archive of Our Own) under my account of the same name (ChiyannaD), and the second chapter is up on fanfiction.net under the same. Or, you can wait for the next part to come up on here. I usually post every week or two on Sundays.

[1-talk-alot]

Okayyyyy yeah I got terminated but if I hadn’t got terminated you’d be able to go back and see alllllll the shit about M (code name) and im not going to re explain it so whatever

Short rant ahead!!!!

I vagely remember saying that I would talk about this topic again unless something happened and ig something did happen but whatever whatever im making no sense

Soooo today in fact M, E and C (and me!) we’re in dance bcs we have no choice and we were like standing around because idk and E goes to the bathroom so im sitting down and M and C are there and Ms talking shit about someone and I’m like “wait who” and they’re like “Ph it’s nothing don’t worry about it!” And im not stupid and I HATE how they think I’m just gonna be like “Okay! I will assume it’s someone who I don’t know or someone who you have already told me about because im an empty headed idiot with no opinions, logic, or ability to work things out on my own!” LIKE?????? Anyways I just assume its one of my friends or me because you im not an empty headed idiot like they apparently think!

Sooooooooo E comes back and we do our dance and (this next bit is a bonus issue) idk if M even like notices but they neeeeeeeeed to stop standing so close to my face like please?? I keep stepping back and you keep coming closer like stop

So whatever our group has another break and M jumps up and says(to C) “okay anyways I wanna keep shittalking them now!” And they open their phone and I can quite obviously see E’s pfp on their phone and i atp go to tell E “hey theyre talking about you” but like even I know that I don’t have to because theyre full on standing 1 foot away. Like Ik some people are just dicks who make it clear they don’t like you and they talk about you knowing you can hear them because they want you to feel shit but keep in mind everyone in our group are meant to be “bestfriends” or whatever. I didn’t hear exactly what was said I just know it was to do with some text message or whatever.

Sidetrack! (Because I do that a lot) they also expect me to move into an apartment with them when we’re older?? Idk but its weird because one it’s not gonna happen, two I know exactly what I wanna do and im going to live alone, three in the time period im not living alone (because I know that’ll happen too) I wanna live with E, A, or just some stranger who I can get to know and become friends with. It sounds mean but there’s no way im going to wind up in an apartment with M and theyre being so oblivious about it despite my multiple attempts to tell them my life plan

Back to the story uh there’s not story left just WHAT THE FUCK???? This next sentence may sound sarcastic but it’s a genuine question do you want the world to know what you said aboit E?? It would be bad anyways but you’re standing 1-2 feet away????? Literally that whole day I’ve been doing my regular “I wanna talk to my friends without seeming intrusive so im gonna stand” thing and almost whenever I actually do get to talk to my friend they just intrude and I know it sounds selfish bcs idk how to explain how I know they’re doing it on purpose?? And then they try to like steer me somewhere else like the canteen or like anywhere???

Let’s finish on a sidetrack ok I think its safe to say that theyve got shit going on for themselves and every once in a while they (out of nowhere, mind you) strike up a point like “if I died you guys wouldn’t care and 1 what do I even say??? Like I’d care obviously but what do I say? And two even when I do say like anything theyre just like “you’ll live.” Like ok am I not meant to? Because it sounds like you’re mildly pissed at the fact that I wouldt follow you if you died or smth

That also happened today and honestly idk what theyre even tryna do? Like youre making a point that you’re obviously sour about and then when we try to reassure you you’re just reject it?? So what are we supposed to do then? This happens often and im soooo tired of it because it’s a lose-lose game like there’s no good option anyways

(Disclaimer excuse spelling mistakes bcs I didn’t proof read this I just wanted to post it finally)

In conclusion I shouldddd (“deal with it in a mature and organised way so that no one gets hurt!”) commit identity fraud!

Bye bye :3

[alyjojo]

The Person On Your Mind in July 🎱 2023 - Taurus

Whole of their energy towards Taurus: 10 Pentacles

Feelings: Page of Swords

Intentions: 6 Swords rev

Actions: 10 Wands

This could be family, your messages throw ex’s into the ring too, either way this is someone that’s awfully upset that you are happy - away from them. You’ve released yourself from the past and this person. Or they could’ve been the ones to let this go in the first place, either way. You talk about happiness, maybe gripe about work, you’re living a fulfilled, happy, stable, and peaceful life. Good for you ❤️ This is someone that never really treated you right, never made you their priority, it was always something else, and they took advantage of you just always being there for them.

They could have followed some dream and left you behind, possibly played games and chose someone else, options were the problem, and you were never the obvious choice to them. Their intention is to come back around, because they genuinely regret whatever they’ve done or however they made you feel before, they’re feeling a major lack in their life without you. Your cards show you as being fair, you’re only doing what’s best for you and there’s nothing wrong with that. In action, they could be pressuring you to let them back in, heal whatever wasn’t healed before, they come up as King of Wands and you know those fire signs can be pushy af. You could be deciding not to, 2 Wands rev is “playing it safe”, and you’re not about to jeopardize what you have. But you’re probably being cordial, offering forgiveness on some level, giving them what they want in some way while still focused on your own interests. I clarified if you’re getting back with this person and got 2 Swords, that’s a true 50/50 some will and some won’t, it’s your call.

Messages:

Their side:

- You are the YIN to my YANG ☯️

- New Beginning

Your side:

- EX Drama

- 100% Fair

Possible signs:

Gemini, Scorpio & Leo

If you’re dealing with:

10 Wands, Judgement & 10 Cups, all endings. This mimics the reading, you’ve released the past and are over it, 10 Cups shows you being very happy with whatever you’re doing. You could be ending past connections across the board, and this person may be one of them. You’re focused on what’s best for you and your future happiness, can some of these be saved, grow with you, or have some gone on long enough and it’s time to move on?

Aries - could be this person, they’re trying to push their agenda on you to work together, and you’re like nah brah & leaving it behind

Taurus - someone with authority around you that you feel is a liar, stalker, or generally full of shit

Gemini - patient with the conflict between you, because they want to heal it, release it, and have a new beginning

Cancer - keeping a tight lock on their heart because they’re in love with you…doing the typical crab 🦀 thing, try to encourage them when you’re around

Leo - sadness & regrets, waiting for nothing, or that’s why

Virgo - on the surface, they’re fun, passionate, exciting & ready to go - underneath they’re petty, mean & don’t genuinely care, selfish…pass 💯

Libra - f’d around and found out, or will

Scorpio - work & finances have them trapped in an unhealthy situation right now, a friend that you could be trying to help

Sagittarius - rushing in with “the truth”, but not in any way they’d look bad, so…not really the truth, but what *they* think you need to know

Capricorn - madly in love with you and not holding anything back, you’re not going anywhere as far as they’re concerned

Aquarius - not reciprocating whatsoever, leaving things one-sided because they’re unsure of how they want to proceed

Pisces - giving up on indecision, confusion, waiting, illusions, hidden agendas, they’ll take 10 Swords over this, they’re done