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heytherejulietx · 2 years

Text

shattered - jughead jones

↳ requested by anon, writing for riverdale again prompts; hiding their face in the other’s neck

↳ after proof reading this i’m now realising that this is practically the same as one of my other fics (need you - sweet pea x reader) so if you enjoy this i suggest reading that too. also i’m sorry this was so sad, i was fully projecting my bad week and three breakdowns into this lmfao

↳ content warnings - implication of breakdown and depression

↳ 1.2k word count

↳ just a reminder that reblogs are seriously appreciated as it helps my work get seen by more people! <3

↳ masterlists

@bucky-j-barnes @kpopgirlbtssvt @freezing82 @mullysmyheart @thegrxywitch @akitoxx @lovin-aurelia @musingsofanextrovert @icarus-star @ihibernateandsleep @demigirl-with-problems @alexxavicry @krystalites @imdamnconfused (some of the tags won’t work) join my tag list

With the tears blurring her eyes and vision, her room looked kind of pretty. The colours of the bedroom wall blurred with the colours of the furniture, and all of it looked quite beautiful all swirled together. Though, she blinked, and as the tears ran down her cheeks the state of her bedroom became clearer again; the clothes on the floor, the mess that she hadn’t put away. the light wasn’t even on, she had laid there for so long that it had grown darker. The dark was welcomed because the light hurt her eyes, which were sore from crying. When she squeezed her eyes shut, the tears in her waterline bled through and soaked up into her pillow instead. Her bedsheets were almost suffocating, but she was too tired to move. She felt like if she even just attempted to, then she would shatter. Her phone laid on the floor across the room, the screen cracked from how hard it had hit the floor when she threw it. It kept buzzing with unopened messages that she didn’t have the energy to read. If someone asked her if she was okay, she was going to crumple.

Her bedroom door creaked open behind her, back facing the doorway, and her composure cracked slightly; her chest heaving with a constricted sob. She was in no way surprised that he was there, but she just wanted to cry alone. She always felt so weak when he saw her like that; so tired, so used, so nothing.

“Hey,” His hand was on her shoulder, warmth bleeding through the cover of bedsheets, and more tears soaked into her pillowcase. “Come here, I’ve got you.”

As much as she wanted to be left alone, once the comfort had been offered she couldn’t not take it. As soon as he had sat beside her, she caved, and rolled over into him. Her tears soaked into his jumper instead as her composure completely shattered, the stream of tears running a little quicker as she trembled. He held her against himself as she cried, his whispered comforts a muffled buzz in her ears, but better than nothing she supposed. Eventually though, her chest began to hurt again, and her free hand clutched her shirt over her heart in a tight fist.

“I’m sorry,” Her voice was broken, chest heaving with another tremble of pain. “I-I can’t-”

“Stop, love. Stop.” Jughead held her even tighter if that were possible. “Just take a moment to calm down.” His hand was a gentle comfort as it rubbed her back, and it managed to keep her grounded as she leaned into him. Her face nuzzled into the soft material of her jumper, and as she inhaled his scent she felt slightly relaxed.

“Who told you to come see me?” She mumbled into his jumper. She hadn’t texted him, or anybody after she had smashed her phone. But she knew that most of their mutual friends had seen her break down in tears on Betty’s shoulder in the student lounge right before last period had started. He had been back at Riverdale High for around a month, but she was still in her old habits of not wanting to bother him. When he had moved to the South Side she had found it hard not seeing him every day, and after a while she stopped calling him when she got upset. He was busy, it was unfair for him to deal with her all the time. He was back now, and she saw him a hell of a lot more, but she still couldn’t help but feel like she was a bother.

“Betty,” He responded softly, his hand continuing the motion over her back. “She came and told me you weren't doing so well, she said you wanted to be alone but I couldn’t leave you alone for the whole night.” He whispered, and her bottom lip trembled when he pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head.

“I’m sorry,” The words were whispered into his jumper, barely audible, but she could tell that he had heard her due to his grip growing slightly tighter around her. “I don’t even… there’s nothing wrong, this is so stupid.” She sighed, deflating further into him.

“It’s not stupid,” He tucked an arm underneath her waist so he could pull her closer to him, and her eyes squeezed shut as she pressed closer into him, an arm slung around his body as she tucked her head in the cove of his neck. His skin was warm against her cheek, wet with tears, and when she inhaled deeply his cologne was all she could smell. “Something is clearly wrong for you to get this upset, whether you realise it or not, but I’m here for you, no matter what. I promise.”

His words offered the same amount of comfort as his arms wrapped around her, and the kindness that enveloped her into him made her tears run a little more. “I don’t deserve you.” She mumbled with a quiet sniffle, as a tired sigh passed her lips. Her head felt like it was full of cotton, and at that point she just wanted to curl up and sleep in his arms for a thousand years.

She heard Jughead sigh into her hair, and his hand lifted to rest against the back of her head, completely cradling her against him. At any other point she probably would have complained with a dramatic groan about him babying her, but she couldn’t get enough of it. Reflecting on the previous few hours, she felt stupid for not seeing him sooner.

“Don’t say that, love,” He whispered. “Of course you do, you deserve me and so much more. You deserve all and only good things. I’m sorry you don’t have that.”

Her bottom lip trembled again, and she sucked in a deep breath through her parted lips as she tucked herself further in against him, her forehead pressed against the warm skin of his neck. “I’m just… I’m so tired.” Her exhausted mumble came out in a quiet whimper. She didn’t mean that she was physically tired, although she could have done with a nice nap, but she knew he understood.

“I know,” Jughead whispered, and pulled the covers over her again, before his hand returned to the back of her head. “I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this.”

Her head nodded, but she didn’t say anything else as she leaned into him with a soft exhale against his neck. She didn’t want to talk; Jughead holding her was the only thing she needed, and it really did help. Her eyes remained closed as his free palm flattened against her back, and as it slipped underneath her shirt to rub her bare back, she almost completely relaxed into his frame. As her mind started to blur, fuzzy with oncoming sleep, she sought comfort in the fact that he was there for her, and would always be there for her, whether something was wrong or not.

#riverdale #riverdale imagine #riverdale fanfiction #riverdale fic #jughead #jughead x reader #jughead fanfiction #jughead jones #jughead jones x reader #jughead jones imagine #jughead jones fanfiction

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googledocsdyke · 4 years

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it is SO funny that eric kripke originally envisioned dean as a “han solo” figure to sam’s “luke skywalker” because like. sure dean has the fast car and the scoundrel grin but he actually could not be further from han as soon as you begin to break down his actual values and priorities as a person, as a character. like han’s ENTIRE deal is that he is in the world for himself alone (at least until he meets luke and leia) and is jaded to his bone by Harrison Ford Sexy Cynicism TM and has the kind of loose morality where he sees every interaction as a transaction where he can accumulate money and freewheel out of town and i can hear you all saying ohhhh just like dean winchester but NO! you are wrong! dean’s morality from the very first episode is SO tightly knotted to filial and familial duty and to Fulfilling His Particular Path as a hunter like not to quote this in 2020 but literally saving people hunting things the family business!!!!!

can you IMAGINE dean winchester being like “if i rescue leia what’s in it for me” lmfao i have to laugh. yes he too cares about very few people but that is because his heart is bound SO TIGHTLY to a miniscule family that there is no room there for anyone else. yes he too seems amoral and obviously like . Kills People but that’s because his morality is ENTIRELY centred around his almost video-game-protagonist questlike duty (he is literally thee Righteous Man) of the limited to-do list he has set out for himself: protect brother, please dad, save world, save cas, etc. han solo doesn’t have a fucking to-do list!!!!! dean winchester would never run away from home!!!!!!!! he’s not even CYNICAL the way han is like this is the man who after thirteen years of onscreen brutalisation and betrayal and disappointment and horror and pain is still fundamentally like YES we’re in my favourite scooby doo story i hope it ends well :) like he is so deeply earnest about the things he cares for and it JUST doesn’t add up as a han equivalency none of it does

and it all just feels so indicative of a fundamentally early 2000s nerdboy approach to building character where dean winchester was first conceptualised not as a Person but as a compulsive repetition of established tropes, established Maleness, rephrased again and again as some kind of fucked-up substitution equation (impala = millennium falcon, seedy kansas bar = cantina, i love you = i know) that fails to recognise that man (protagonist) cannot live on aestheticised References alone . which has all been covered repeatedly by people much smarter than me but it still bears repeating because it’s CRAAAAAAZY and i also CANNOT STOP thinking about how a genuinely good and complex character emerged from these tired repetitions. like eric kripke went “this guy is a collection of Things That Indicate Coolness just like my favourite action hero” which just became an INCREDIBLE case of backfiring because 90% of dean’s action hero masculinity now only reads as sublimated gay desire à la “this man has wanted to fuck harrison ford since the 80s”. and so like somehow dean’s complex personhood not only pushed THROUGH those tired tropes but also made them more legible in a totally new way like i really do believe that dean winchester is a real person pulled to the surface by a text that vehemently hates him all while insisting that it is writing him out of reverence and love. the writers love dean but only in the way that john “loved” him: they love what they engineered him to be and hate not only what he ended up becoming, but what he always was.

#fellas is it gay to accidentally create the most complex metatextual deconstructed over constructed macho hero character of all time #i DO hope this makes sense and i DO welcome all additions bc i'm not sure it does #but i rewatched the original trilogy this week and MAN can i not stop thinking about the sheer incongruence between han and dean #while the writers INSIST that they are not only continuous but substitutable #sasha.txt #spn #sw #dean #dean winchester meta #gendernatural #1k #analysis tag

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broadwayandnetflix · 3 years

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OMG- BO FIC REQUEST

a fluffy fic where he takes you out to a fancy dinner. picks you up at your house & meets your parents, driving to the place, all that pizazz- and more if you decide to write! Im a big fucking sucker for the romantics as you can see LMFAO.

Meet The Parents - Bo Burnham x Reader

Warnings: Language

Theme: Fluff! Slight bit of Angst.

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: picture this as like his what tour cause it fits up with the college timeline hoes. also, I hope you like that I added an airport, cause rom-com shit amirite? I’ll stop. wooooooo this is so long. I hope y’all like essays cause fuck.

It had been too long since you had last seen your boyfriend, Bo. The two of you had met in college at NYU briefly before he dropped out to pursue his comedy career.

Of course, you have been supportive. Why wouldn’t you be? You just really missed him, especially when he went on long tours, you in school, and him touring the world.

The two of you kept in touch. Bo often taking the time to call you before or after a show to hear your voice and call himself down. You knew what they did to his anxiety, and not being able to hold each other was difficult for the both of you.

He’d do the same for you, without a shadow of a doubt. Especially when school was stressing you out, and exams and essays were becoming a pain in the ass to handle. Even if it was just little funny texts or messages, he helped you.

It’s what you did for each other. You were a team, even if it was states away from each other. Except, luckily for you, his tour was ending soon. Or it should be, judging by the tiny calendar of dates that he gave you.

It was nearing Thanksgiving Break, and it just didn’t seem applicable that you’d be able to meet up in time. Given the short week window and Bo riding down from nearly a year of touring.

So you didn’t say much, as you packed your bags for the week and left for your home state.

The airplane ride wasn’t that bad. You wished that you had Bo beside you, cracking jokes to calm the inevitable way that your heart would jolt when you went up in the air. Unlike Bo, you absolutely hated flying.

Earbuds in, you strolled into the airport a tad bit jet-lagged and went to grab a bite from a small coffee shop. Slipping the cashier a twenty, you walked the airport in search of your luggage.

Through a sea of people, you trudged, already feeling fatigued and just wanting a nap. You didn’t even realize that you were gonna run smack dab into someone. That is until their hand shot up and held you steady.

You laughed pathetically and cringed quickly, going to apologize, hoping that the person who caught you would just keep moving on. Except, they still stood in front of you, silent as ever.

“Hey man look I’m so sorry, I’m just so tired I didn’t even see where I was going.” you mumbled before realizing just who you were speaking to.

Bo.

You froze, staring at the man in pure confusion. How was he here when he was supposed to still be on tour? You rubbed your eyes, wondering if he’d still be there when you reopened them.

News flash, Bo was still there. Fuck.

“Holy shit,” you murmured, realizing your hands were still full with your bag, phone, and lunch.

God, you were gonna cry; this wasn’t happening. He looked so fucking good, the glasses, the hair.

He watched you quietly, a soft smile resting upon his lips. While you clumsily pull on his arm to get out of the ongoing traffic of people around you, preferably a spot with a place to put your stuff.

Your tall boyfriend lumbering after you unbeknownst to you, trying to compose himself. It had practically been months since he had seen you last, and you had never looked more beautiful.

Once you set them down gently, you practically ran into the man’s arms. His bags gently fall to the floor as his arms are securely wrapped around you. Nearly lifting you off the ground.

The two of you rocked gently in the embrace, completely lost in each other. Bo resting his head on top of yours, pressing soft kisses upon your head. Tears softly pour down your cheeks and onto his shirt. Giving him enough time to wipe them away and plant a soft kiss against your lips.

“Bo, what are you doing here? I thought you were still on tour.” you sniffled, still wrapped up in his arms.

“Managed to make things work, I wanted to see you. Or I was gonna try and surprise you at the gate, but you kinda…ran into me.” Bo smirked, looking down at you.

“Well you definitely surprised me, man I really missed you.” you said quietly.

“Honey, you don’t understand how long I’ve waited for this moment. I swear my agents are probably sick and tired of me talking about you.” he exclaimed, causing you to smile.

This long-distance was really starting to get to the two of you; of course, his tour was gonna be over soon. Except, especially two different states away from each other, it made your heart hurt.

Moments like these, you wanted to just pause the time and exist in them forever. It seemed like between the two of you, you were running out of time. Just how much time exactly?

It was almost as if he could sense the hesitation as he swept up his bags and yours in the process.

“Just realized, we’ve got places to be.” he chirped, and you eyed him curiously.

“Like where?” you said, grabbing your coffee and bag from the coffee shop.

“Patience is a virtue my dear.” he tuts and slips his hand between yours. “Now, where’s your luggage terminal?”

It was roughly a forty-minute drive from the airport to your place. Bo had rented a car for the next couple of days, so it was smooth sailing from that point on.

Bo behind the wheel, and you are sitting in the passenger trying to figure out what music to play.

It didn’t help that you were in the car with a comedian, as whatever song you picked, Bo would pretend to critique it. Only sending you into a fit of hysterics.

“Oh okay, well you pick the music then!” you cried, pretending to stare daggers at him.

“I’ve got something for you, it’s this brand new artist I found while on tour.” he grinned, looking over at you briefly before focusing back on the road.

“His name is….Bo Burnham I think? I could be wrong? He was good-“ he said nonchalantly before earning a quick swipe to his arm from you.

“God, you look cute when you’re angry. You’re missing out on that Bo Burnham guy, he’s got potential.” he said.

“I hate you.” you giggle before finding a more comfortable position in the car.

“Oh shit you know what I just realized?” Bo yelped, causing you to slightly jolt in your seat.

“What?”

“Isn’t this the first time I’m meeting your parents?” he asked, causing you to slightly stiffen in your seat.

Technically, yes. It wasn’t like your parents didn’t know, it’s more so that there was never really a good time for them to meet. You wondered what they’d think, dating someone who dropped out of college to pursue comedy.

Not that your parents were judgmental. They wanted you to be happy, as any parents would. You just were worried if they wouldn’t respect and love Bo as much as you did. It had been close to two years at this point; what else did you have to lose?

“You are right, oh dear god. I wonder how that’s gonna go, hopefully well, right?” you ask, more so to yourself than Bo.

“Oh please, I’m great with people’s parents. Plus, they raised you, I’m sure they are great people. Babe, you’ve got nothing to worry about.” he reassured before continuing on the route.

It wasn’t long before he pulled into your family driveway, pulling the car into park, quickly placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“You ready?” he says quietly, looking at you sweetly.

You eyed the front door before looking back and meeting his eyes, nodding, as he leaned in to give you a quick kiss.

God, you missed those.

“Here goes nothing.” you smirk before slipping out of the passenger side and gather your bags.

Bo now follows suit as you knock on the door, his taller frame towering over you. One hand pressed on the small of your back, holding you steady.

The front door opens with a swing, with your mother greeting you at the door. A firm grin upon her lips as she rushes out to hug you, your father appearing behind her.

“Oh I’m so glad you were able to come home! We missed you so much!” she exclaims, squeezing you tighter.

Before giving you a slight nudge and knowing look towards Bo, who had remained oblivious, while he shook hands with your father.

All of you gather inside your house, Bo taking control of the conversation when acceptable.

Sitting down at the kitchen table, your parents are engulfed in his stories and laughing at his jokes. All the while getting to know the man that you loved so much.

Bo was pretty much a natural when it came to impressing others, and you knew it wasn’t gonna be an issue with your parents.

The two of you answering almost any questions, Bo excitingly telling the story of how the two of you met.

“Oh I almost forgot, I need you to do me a favor.” Bo murmured when the two of you had a moment to be alone.

You looked up at him in confusion before he mentioned something about dressing up nice. A knowing look upon his lips before giving you a slight wink and walking off towards the guest room.

There you stood, gaping like a fish in wonderment at what he possibly could be planning. Slowly walking into your childhood bedroom, looking for anything that would meet his description of nice.

You settled for something that you wore to a formal gathering that still managed to fit you. Giving yourself a quick look in the mirror, you left your bedroom to find Bo standing there.

You had to hold back a gasp; the man looked rather handsome in a dress shirt and pants. His hair was nicely done, and his hand gestured out for you to take.

“Bo what is all this for?” you exclaim, as he only smirks and leads you towards the front door.

“Shut up, I’ve been wanting to take you out for months.” he says as he opens it and leads you towards his car.

The man practically doing the whole nine yards, all the while you looking at him in pure wonderment. Of course, the two of you had been on dates prior, but never like this.

You had to practically stop yourself from grinning as he suavely got into the driver’s side of the car., Giving a quick glance over at you unbeknownst to you, trying not to melt at how gorgeous you looked.

“Where are we going?” you ask as he starts the car slowly pulling out of the driveway.

“You ask a lot of questions my dear.” he says, keeping his eyes focused on the road.

“Oh shit is this my execution?” you smirk as he dramatically nods.

“Babe, how the hell did you find out? Who told you? Was it my manager? I knew she’d rat me out!” he exclaims.

“You know I had to be certain, you did make me dress up all nice and all.” you play along, grinning ear to ear.

“Oh well, I can’t give away the entire surprise so zip it with the questions sweetie.” he quips as he continues the drive.

It’s not long before he pulls into a fancy Italian restaurant, way out of your usual pay range. You could feel your stomach do somersaults, giving the man an incredulous look.

Bo simply grins as he gets out of the car, rushing over to open yours for you. Eyes wide, still staring at him like he was fucking insane. He shakes his head and carefully pulls you out of the car.

“Now no complaints. Or whatever you plan to do. I’m paying, I’ve been wanting to treat you like this for over a year now. I’m doing it, and I’m gonna enjoy doing it.” Bo huffs, all dignified.

You simply nod in disbelief before he slips his hand within yours. While he enters the restaurant, he mentions his reservations to the hostess, and they seat you at a table.

Once the butterflies subsided in your stomach, you took the attention of the man in front of you. Never had anyone done something like this for you. You were trying to not look like a genuine fool with the smile you wanted to express.

You knew he was the one for you, but the way that he had looked at you. The pure adoration in his eyes and how he had planned everything, you were practically melting.

“I love you.” you whisper, wondering if he could hear it.

He did.

Bo looked up from his menu, a blush now practically kissing his cheeks. He dimples, rising at the declaration before reaching across the table since he was large enough to kiss you gently.

He was quick enough as the waitress came over to take your order. That goofy lovesick grin still plastered across his face as he straightened up in his seat.

The two of you ordering whatever looked best on the menu, clinking glasses when they arrived and looking dreamily into each other’s eyes.

“Man, I missed you. Like I know I say it a lot, but I mean I did. Going on tour is….well it’s lonely. I know you’re still in school, but sweetie. When I’m done, you’ll be sick of me. I promise.” Bo said insistently.

“No I won’t, I’m sure it’s gonna be the other way around. I don’t know if I say it enough, but I really am proud of you. I am so proud to call you my boyfriend, to call you mine. I don’t mind waiting.” you say quietly.

“How did I get so lucky?” he paused, eyeing the plates of food that were coming your way.

“Thank NYU, they did all the work.” you joke, thanking the waitress before digging into the meals.

The food was excellent; it was incredibly worth the price. Even if it was steep, the dinner was lovely. Bo is cracking jokes and telling you his favorite fan encounters that have occurred since his tour began.

It was hard to believe that the man who was often so quiet and shy could be so loud and brave enough to yell at hecklers. Except you could believe it, you had obviously been to one of his shows.

It made your heart begin to flutter at the fact that he wasn’t afraid to be himself around you; it made you feel secure.

The way his stage presence dominated the scene, it was practically impossible to keep your eyes off of him. No matter the situation.

Even now, his eyes glimmer while he tells you whatever story he had dug up. This was his passion, and you reveled in it all.

The night went well as the two of you caught up, knowing it would be quite some time before he’d meet up with you again. As he too had Thanksgiving to celebrate with his family in Massachusetts.

You shared a nice dessert, and he left a rather hefty tip simply because he could. Bo never made it necessary to note that he had money, but you knew he was excited to spend it.

All the while, you spent the night in a dizzying smile. Not giving a shit whether anyone knew it or not, even in the parking lot. The two of you waltzing messily towards the car, giggling and sputtering like a bunch of fools.

He was your fool, and you were his, who knew how long you’d have with him for now. You were destined to make the most of it.

Even as the ride home dwindled and you knew he’d have to catch a flight soon. You weren’t surprised or shocked even; days with him tended to be like this.

As the two of you reached your front door, Bo carefully leaned down to a comfortable position and kissed you softly. Not desperately, just tenderly. As if by the time he’d kiss you again, you’d simply wouldn’t be there.

His lips grazing yours, hands pressed carefully against your cheeks. You reciprocating all the while leaning into him in a warm embrace.

When you finally pulled away to catch your breath, he gave you a look that you knew all too well.

“I’m not saying goodbye.” you whisper into his arms.

“I’ll be back soon don’t worry.” he murmurs into your embrace.

With one last kiss on the forehead, you watch as he walks back to his car. Judging by the way his schedule worked, you knew he’d be back sooner than he would in the past.

Yet, with the soft ‘I love you’ said between the two of you couldn’t help but shed a tear and just hope that the next time would last longer.

#broadwayandnetflix #2021 #bo burnham #bo burnham x you #bo burnham x reader #inside #what #make happy #words words words #fluff #fanfiction #fanfic request

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radiorenjun · 3 years

Text

nightmare surfs || hrj

¤ pairing: huang renjun x reader

¤ genre: angst, slight fluff, idol!renjun

¤ warnings: nightmares lol, the reader has a panic attack, crying, pain, idk mentions of the readers health worsening, soft kisses

¤ summary: you've been suffering from random nightmares as of late. You didn't know how but when they get too far, you're glad you have something (or rather, someone) to seek comfort.

¤ wordcount: 1.3k

¤ song rec: freaks - surf curse

¤ a/n: I cried while writing this lmfao

¤ disclaimer: I am NOT ROMANTICIZING having panic attacks or having mental breakdowns. I just wrote this somewhat based off of my own experience to vent. Look away if these sort of things trigger you

¤ tagging: @neowritingsnet @nct-writers @neoturtles @culture-cafe

Your body flinched as your eyes shot open, blinking as your brain tried to decipher that you were no longer in the hellhole you were previously in merely moments ago. A dark empty feeling sank in your chest, something you've never felt before. It was an ugly feeling, you couldn't get it out. Your senses were heightened as if something was going to hurt you, yet you didn't know what to do. The dark feeling lied deep inside of you and you didn't know how to make it stop or go away.

You couldn't breathe. As if the lump in your chest had spread through your lungs, inevitably enabling them to stop letting air flow through. You sat up against the headboard of your bed, trying to calm yourself down as your mind scattered into a mess right before you. Trying to breathe through your nose, you ran a hand through your hair, gripping it tightly as you closed your eyes as tightly as you could.

I dream

"Hey," a familiar voice called out softly. The sound of sheets rustling beside you grew deaf to your ears as your head began ringing loudly, flashbacks of the nightmare you just had replaying itself over and over again in your head like a broken record player. You then felt finger wrapping themselves around your wrists, gently tugging your hand away from your hair. You slowly opened your eyes at the sudden soft touch, surprised to see Renjun's soft yet concerned gaze on your face.

"Breathe for me," he whispered, his fingers moving to hold your palms in his, massaging your hands soothingly in an attempt to calm you down. "Breathe in," he coaxed gently, his melodious voice reaching your ears as you slowly obeyed his words, trying your best to shoo the thoughts away as you took a deep exhale. The pain in your chest wasn't going away as Renjun continued to help you breathe your thoughts out, it scared you.

Of you

It scared you even more that you wanted to cry, but as if your tears had run out from your previous crying sessions, you couldn't. Your eyes burned with tears but they couldn't stream down your face, they stayed stuck to your waterline. "It's okay, it's going to be okay," Renjun told you as your eyes shot down to your hand being caressed in his, your throat running dry as you were unable to form words. You weren't sure if it was because you were overwhelmed with all the different emotions at once or if it was because you had him right in front of you, comforting you right when you needed him.

You watched as he released one of your hands to cup your cheek, running his thumb soothingly against your skin. "It's okay to cry, don't hold it back. It's not healthy to bottle up your emotions like that, I know you're scared right now. But you're okay, I promise," he reassured, giving you a soft smile.

God, that smile.

It was enough for the tears to finally flow from your eyes, a simple reassurance that you were allowed to cry. You were allowed to feel scared. To feel sad. You were allowed to embrace your emotions and let it all out. You didn't even realize the tears flowing from your eyes like a water tap until you let out a small sob, the memories flooding back into you once again as you gripped Renjun's hand tightly. Your free hand coming up to his wrist, holding it tightly as if you were to let go, he would disappear right in front of you. A part of you knew that he will. He will disappear. He wasn't yours to keep.

Almost every night

"That's it, let it all out," he pulled you to his chest, wrapping his arms around you to give the biggest and tightest hug he could muster as you broke into a fit of sobs and hiccups. You clung onto him as if he was your only reason to live, as if he was your air, as if you couldn't live without him. At the moment, you truly felt as if he was your reason to live. Your hands clutched onto the fabric of the white shirt he was wearing, burying your head into the crook of his neck as you let out silent sobs. Your tears soaked the fabric of your shirt, but neither of you cared.

"Please don't leave me," you begged, your voice cracking as you spoke, sniffling loudly as you shut your eyes tight. You felt his grip tightening around your body, his arm hugging you closer by the waist as his other hand made its way to run his fingers through your hair in a weak attempt to sooth you. "I'm right here, I'm not leaving," he pressed soft kisses against your temple, his voice growing heavy as a lump started to build itself up in his own throat at the sound of your harsh sobbing.

Hopefully

"Don't leave," you whispered into his skin, sniffling back your tears as you started nuzzling into his warm skin in contrast to your cold one. He rocked your body back and forth as if you were a small child, shushing your cries softly as he pressed a longing kiss to your hair, playing with it in between his fingers as tears began to leak from his own eyes at the sight of you in great pain. "I'm sorry I can't take the pain away," he mumbled into your hair, pressing another soft kiss as your heart swelled for him. You shook your head at his words, mumbling how it wasn't his fault.

Your chest never stopped hurting as the nightmares kept replaying in your head. You didn't want to go back to sleep, you wanted to bask in Renjun's warm embrace as long as you could. You wanted to bask in the feeling of having someone to comfort you when you needed it the most. It felt like heaven. To be in the arms of your loved one. To be able to cry your emotions and stress out. You refused to let go of his embrace, you didn't want him to let you go.

"God, you're getting worse. Your nightmares are getting way worse," he hissed at your ear, causing you to shut your eyes tight. You tightened your grip on his shirt, nuzzling into his shoulder, inhaling his sweet scent as you chose to ignore his words. "Are you listening to me? You're getting worse," he repeated once again.

I won't wake up this time

Your eyes shot open, your body was covered in a cold sweat. Your head was on the pillow, tears staining your pillow and cheeks, your blanket was messy. It was barely covering quarter of your body in the cold air conditioned room, as if you were thrashing wildly in your sleep. There was a dull ache panging inside of your chest as you slowly sat up, choosing to ignore it as you reached over your nightstand for your phone to check the time.

3:28 AM.

You saw a few texts from your friends who were staying up late gaming. You felt numb as you opened the groupchat, seeing the messages your friends sent before placing your phone back on the mattress. Placing your palms against your forehead, you groaned internally as your phone screen illuminated the dimly lit room. A picture of Huang Renjun, your favorite idol, on your lockscreen as you began to shed tears.

Your mind liked to play mean tricks on you. You didn't mind them anymore, you were used to it. But you couldn't help but admit that this dream was the worst one yet in comparison to the other nightmares you've had the past few months. It left your heart stinging and aching, it left you crying and sobbing through the night. It leaves you in the reality that you had no one to comfort you when you needed it the most. It was a sign that you truly are getting worse

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feliix · 4 years

Text

Mine ✦ JHS (18+)

✦ Pairing: Werewolf!Hoseok x Reader ✦ Word count: 3.6k ✦ Rating: M

✦ Genre: smut, fluff, established relationship!au, werewolf!au

✦ Summary: It’s your boyfriend Hoseok’s first time in heat, and as much as you’ve prepared yourself for this moment you’d never expect it to go like this.

✦ Warnings: explicit smut, heat sex, unprotected sex, fingering, dom!hoseok, oral: female receiving, dirty talk, rough sex, impregnation kink, breeding kink, hobi is possessive af, knotting, creampie, marking, blood play, praise kink, aftercare,

✦ Requested by this anon ‘Hoseok x reader werewolf alpha heat with human mate? First time experiencing his heat and his knot?’ this anon: ‘May I request for the drinks and Drabbles, Hobi + cocktail. (Lmfao this is gonna be a lot, you don’t need to do all, whatever you feel inspired by {love you}; dom Hobi, spanking, creampie, fingering, toys, pet names)’ and sweet beanie @jintobean‘ahem. pls might i order some hot coco hoseok it can have some nsfw idc i just need my heart to burst pls and thank’

✦ A/N: another episode of i try to write a drabble but it turns into a oneshot :)))) tagging my bby @hobiance for the much needed encouragement and werewolf hobi love♡ also this is my first actual werewolf smut please be nice and beta read by the wonderful, amazing and life saving @ally-127

✦ Written for the BHQ Drinks and Drabbles game hosted by @bangtan-dreamland

read part two here

You had no idea what you were anticipating as you got home from work today. Before you had left Hobi was acting stranger than normal. His temper was short, his motions were labored, and he wasn't himself. It didn’t take long for you to realize something was wrong, and before you had even gone on lunch you received a text from your boyfriend.

Hobi: I don’t want you to be alarmed, but I think I’m in heat

There was no time to think about the next course of action, it was clear what you had to do. The next thing you knew you were in your bosses office, telling her that you were beginning to feel ill and that you’d be taking the rest of the day off.

He could smell that you were home before you had even walked through your front door. Hobi’s senses were mad, higher than he had ever experienced before.

To put it lightly, you were worried. You had never experienced a werewolf in heat before, only heard about it from the older boys and their girlfriends in passing. But now there was no time to ask questions. Hobi was in heat and you’d have to figure it out together.

Muffled moans traveled throughout the apartment as Hobi ached in pain in your bedroom. Concern immediately flooded your system, not knowing if you should rush over to check on him or take things slow. The groaning only gets louder as you approach the bedroom door, pressing your ear up to the door to try and make out the slur of words coming from his mouth.

“Y/N?” He nearly cries as he senses your presence, the smell of you awakening senses he didn’t even know he had.

Slowly, you turn the handle of the door to reveal yourself to him.

He’s in pain, lying in a pool of his own sweat as a dewy sheen glistens over his body. The only thing covering him is a pair of cotton underwear. They were the only thing soft and breathable enough that he could stand to have on his body, unlike the other clothes torn into shreds that he ripped off earlier. Hopefully he can hold back from treating yours in the same way – you really like the blouse you have on today.

As you see him curled up on the bed you can’t help but become worried for his current state. His face is scrunched in agony, soft groans leaving his lips between each labored breath. Slowly, you make your way over to him, careful not to move too quickly and startle his instincts.

You can only imagine the pain he's gone through over the past few hours. Knowing he's broken every bone in his body to turn, over and over again. Finally that part was over for now, but the everlasting ache of his muscles is still no match for his oncoming heat.

“It hurts,” he moans as his arms cup his sides roughly, rocking back and forth in attempts to relieve some of the pain. You can feel the heat radiating off his body from a foot away.

Instinctively, your hand reaches out to stroke his arm, the hairs standing up as his body shivers in a cold sweat. And then you notice it. The way his nostrils flare and exhale thickly as his eyes begin to glow an amber and gold hue. Your touch comforted him yet riled him up all at once, his wolf wholly and completely awake now that your skin was on his.

His eyes lock on you intently, a deep message hidden behind in his stare – almost like he was going to swallow you whole. You know what he needed. By the bulge in his pants to the look in his eyes you can tell it's you he wants – the only thing he needs at this moment, and you are ready for it.

You already know what you were getting yourself into when you began dating a wolf. It was only a matter of time before your sex life did a 180, and no, you weren’t entirely sure what to expect but today was the day that you’d finally understand what this was all about.

Like a second wind had taken over him, Hobi sits up in the bed, his posture firm and his muscles straining as he holds himself from grabbing you by the waist and mounting you at that moment. He’s waiting for reassurance from you, holding onto every ounce of strength he has before moving an inch.

And so you reach out to him again, bending at the waist as you place your arms on his shoulders, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. “I’m ready,” is all you have to say for him to know, and then he’s scooping you up with his supernatural strength to lay you on the bed.

Without missing a beat, Hobi’s fingers are looping through the sides of your underwear and ripping them down your legs. Surprisingly, you are a lot less nervous than you had expected to be. Maybe because you know how much pain he is in from holding himself back, and all you want is to finally satisfy his wolf that has been eating away at him for so long.

Your sweet scent fills his nostrils as he moves closer to your cunt. Closing his eyes, he basks in your scent – your scent overtaking him stronger than ever before. With deep inhale, he nestles his nose against your core, admiring the way you smelled before extending his tongue to lap at your slit. Immediately, your body jerks in reaction to his touch, the sensitivity of your clit being tested by his quick and frivolous motions.

“Tastes so good,” he mumbles against your inner thigh, making your body jerk at the vibration of his lips. His ministrations are much more impactful than before; this time he's hungry for it, dying to satisfy an itch that was nearly impossible to scratch.

Soon his hands are prying your legs as far apart as they could go, shoving his face into your center and devouring any juices that slipped past your entrance. Even though you had done this a hundred times, it felt different. He was driven by hunger, his actions quick and frivolous to ready you for his length. It was different but it was intentional; his sole purpose backing each and every flick of his tongue.

Moans pass his lips as they wrap around your clit, sucking harshly. Involuntarily your hips buck towards him, unable to control your own actions from the pleasure his mouth is bringing you. You can tell that he likes it by the way his arms wrap around your thighs, holding you down as his tongue flicks past your entrance and into your velvety walls.

A string of curses leave your lips as your body is rendered immobile, unable to move from the way he’s holding your legs to the bed. He’s ravenous – his nose pressing roughly into your clit as his tongue explores your sex. As much as he wants to be gentle he can’t; his wolf sending each of his senses into overdrive with each drip of arousal that lands on his tongue.

He’s moving so quickly that you can’t subdue your quickly approaching high. Any tug at his hair only makes him move faster, bringing you closer and closer to ecstasy at an alarming rate.

“Hobi,” you cry out, “I’m gonna cum if you keep at it like that.”

He doesn’t respond to you with words, only squeezes your thighs to acknowledge you. He’s too busy devouring your pussy to come up for air. Your words only make him move faster and more desperately, your high coming to a peak as he flattens his tongue across your slit. You take a quick glimpse of his amber eyes before he squeezes them shut, feverishly indulging in your release, licking it up as if his life depended on it.

By now a layer of perspiration has coated your body, the silky fabric of your blouse sticking to your skin. But Hobi isn’t done – things are just getting started.

Retreating from his spot between your legs, he sits back on his heels, wiping any left over arousal coating his chin with the back of his hand. He’s still hungry – the squint of his eyes and the determined look on his face told you so. Heat coursed through your veins as you waited for him to make his next move. He was trying to be patient, trying to let you recover for a moment before he got back to business, but you knew what he wanted.

In the interest of time you remove your own shirt, sitting up on the bed to throw the garment to the side and unclip your bra. His hungry eyes take in your nude figure as he moves forward to push you back onto the mattress. Your body relaxes as his lips connect to a sweet spot on your neck, sucking on it harshly, sure to leave a mark for tomorrow.

You arch your back in response as his lips begin to trail down your chest. A line of wet kisses is left behind as he makes his way down to one of your breasts, taking it in his mouth and circling the sensitive bud with his tongue. His teeth brush gently across your nipple, the sensation of his growing canines scraping against it breaking goosebumps against your skin.

Every day since he first turned has been leading up to this moment. Waiting out each passing moment for a sign of carnal instincts to over take him. Over the past few days you’d just brushed off his overly clingy demeanor, assuming it was just him growing into himself as a wolf. His suspicious and on-edge behavior went completely overlooked. You didn’t expect Hobi’s first heat to come on so soon after turning, but alas, here you were.

Hobi’s hands grab a hold of your hips, flipping you over so that you're laying with your chest pushed flush against the mattress, legs bent and the knees with your ass on full display. Your smell consumes him; all that he can think about is the taste of your arousal on his lips and how badly he needs to be inside you now.

His long digits trace your slit as arousal floods from your entrance, coating your slick on his fingertips. Anticipation pangs at your chest as you wait for his next move. You can only imagine the restraint he is holding onto at this moment. Everything in him wants to drive his hardened member into you, but he knows that your human body is not meant to handle what is coming for you.

Hobi’s eye’s screw shut as he brings a finger up to his mouth, basking in the taste of you. A wanton moan erupts from his lips at the taste – so perfectly sweet he would never be able to get enough.

Dire thoughts rush through your mind as you rest on your elbows, face turned to the side to try and see Hobi out of your peripheral vision. His pupils are completely blown, eyes focused only on your center as his chest heaves in anticipation. He’s sizing you up, wondering if you’d be able to accommodate his new size. It worries him deeply, he doesn’t want to hurt you, but he knew once he started he wouldn’t be able to control himself like he normally could. You needed to do something, say something to help settle the internal warfare consuming his mind.

“I’m ready, Hoseok.”

His hand is quick to line himself up with your entrance, grasping onto your hips with such pressure that it is sure to leave bruises tomorrow. Sharp fingernails dig into your skin as his tip meets your entrance. It’s fiery and red, inflamed from how hard he is. The precum that leaks from his tip coats your slit, combining with the wetness dripping down your thighs to create a delicious mixture.

One last reassuring squeeze of your side is all he gives before pushing into you ruggedly. A sharp gasp leaves your lips as he makes his way into your core, surprised at this new sensation. His size is bigger than you’d ever taken before, so much thicker and longer than his normal length. It’s a lot to take in at once, and he’s trying his best to let you relax as your body adjusts to his size.

“You can move,” you say, lip caught between your teeth as your walls stretch further around him.

With your fists grasping for the sheets, Hobi begins thrusting his hips slowly into you– holding out a second each time he bottoms out to let you breathe. His nails only dig into your sides further, the only thing giving him a grip onto reality to hold back his animalistic instincts.

Deep grunts leave his mouth as he tries to hold himself back, but he can feel his humanity slipping further and further away with each clench of your pussy.

“Can’t hold back much longer,” he bares his teeth, canines prominent in his bite, “need to breed you now.”

Your eyes nearly bulge out of your head as his words meet your ears.

You’d never had serious baby talk before let alone tried for one. It was his primal instincts talking, you were sure of it. But even if it wasn't there was no turning back now. He was losing control and he was losing it quickly.

Quickly, his hips snap into yours, his muscles flexing as he holds your body steady, fucking into you deeply. Breath is sucked out of you as his pace increases; stars forming at the back of your eyelids as you squeeze them shut, mouth salivating at the increasing pleasure bestowing upon you. His length is a lot to get used to, but the everlasting pressure against your g-spot was making the pain melt away.

Hobi thrusts in and out of your effortlessly, your abundance of arousal coating his cock and making it easy for him to slide in and out of your velvety walls. With each thrust he bottoms out, and it becomes difficult for you to remain upright. Limbs shaking from pleasure, your elbows begin to give way, landing you flat against the mattress.

Your mouth opens, but the only thing able to escape is a silent scream, too immersed in the feeling of him battering your walls to make a sound. A loud leaves you lips as he pulls you back up, his arms wrapping around your waist to use all his strength to hold you in position. His chest is pressed flush against your back, the heat radiating off his body soothing you as his mouth meets your ear. A quick nip is placed on your earlobe as he catches it between his canines. It doesn’t hurt like you’d expect it too, or maybe you’re too caught up in his throbbing shaft plunging into you to notice if it does.

“Taking me so well.”

His praise quickly soothes your nerves, helping you relax into him as he holds your body close, closer than you had ever felt to him before. His tip is repeatedly hitting against the sensitive spot deep inside of you, you know he’s not ready to let up just yet, but you’re too on edge to hold on.

“Hobi I-I’m gonna–”

“I can smell it,” he groans, mouth meeting your neck as he sucks harshly on it. You can feel his canines scraping against your soft skin, itching to break the flesh and claim you. It’s what he’d always wanted – having you here like this just makes it all the more enticing.

A string of cuss words fall from your lips as your eyes clamp shut, relishing in your release as your pussy spasms around his cock. His movements don’t slow either – his pace is still erratic, plummeting into you at an ungodly rate.

Feeling your release over him only makes him thrust harder, deeper. It sends him into a full blown frenzy, unable to keep himself from chasing his high. “Smells so sweet, need to make you mine.”

You knew what this means. You knew you already were his, just not in that way yet. He was holding onto every last ounce of strength to stop himself from biting, from sinking his teeth into your precious skin and claiming you as his mate. It was painful for him to keep at it like this, and you didn’t have any second thoughts before saying it.

“Do it, Hoseok,” the words slip between cries, still shaking in the aftermath of your orgasm, “claim me.”

So he does.

His eyes slam shut as his mouth finds the crook of your neck, breaking the flesh as his canines sink into your skin. Screams blow past your lips as blood begins to trickle from the wound on your shoulder. Your chest tightens in pain, praying for the awful sensation to but cut short and pleasure to take over. Relief takes over once his tongue meets the small incisions made on your skin, his saliva filling the holes and alleviating the wounds as he licks up the blood.

“Mine.”

Your heart flutters at his claim, having never felt as close to him than you do right now. Firecrackers lit through your veins, the connection between you and Hoseok binding to eternity and you couldn’t be happier. It felt like you were floating on thin air. Your body is unable to focus on any pain right now, you’re too blissed out from the shock of him claiming you to notice how his cock is beginning to swell inside of you.

Cum shoots out of his member, filling you up to the brim until your abdomen begins to feel heavy and swell. That floating feeling quickly begins to fade as his orgasm keeps coming and coming, no inch of your insides gone untouched by his seed. It seems like it's never going to end, and you can feel the pressure from his release building and building inside of you. Your sensitive walls stretch as his cock expands; knotting to plug you up and make sure none of his cum drips out.

“Hobi,” you whine, tears spilling from your eyes as his cock continues to inflate inside of you, “Hobi it hurts.”

“Its almost over baby,” he comforts you, stroking your hair before guiding you onto your side, laying behind you. After such a rough round, his familiar touch eases your pain. The light kisses he places along your spine lets you sink back into him, focusing on the feeling of his soft lips instead of the balloon sized cock stretching your vagina. Gentle hands trace circles up and down your arms as you listen to the sound of his calming breath. His chest heaves as he tries to come down from the adrenaline rush.

Soft kisses soon turn into small licks running over the length of your back as you lay there, still speared on his cock. Now that his animalistic needs were met, it was all about you.

“What are you doing?”

“Cleaning you up,” he answers calmly, his lupine senses finding nothing strange with this new method of aftercare. You’re too immersed in your thoughts to question him any further; if this is what his wolf was telling him to do then so be it.

As Hobi’s knot begins to subdue he doesn’t let go. His tongue soothes over the spot of his mark, now forming into a dark scar to let everyone know you were his. Its crazy how just one bite felt like it could change the entire dynamic of your relationship. You were his now, and he was yours. Forever.

“Hobi?”

“Mmm,” he mumbles, refraining from letting his mouth leave your skin.

“Did you mean that thing you said,” your lip worries between your teeth before you can finish your question, wondering if he even remembers anything that happened or if his wolf took everything over.

“What thing?”

“The thing about breeding me?” Your eyes slam shut to brace yourself from the answer.

“Yes,” he sighs out nonchalantly, like he isn’t admitting that his intentions were to get you pregnant.

“Yes?”

“You’re my mate, Y/N,” he presses a chaste kiss between your shoulder blades before pulling out. A small whimper leaves your lips at the loss of contact, not sure if you were relieved that he was no longer inside you or not. “Of course I want you to have my pups.”

Butterflies flutter in your tummy as a smile stretches across your face. All you want to do right now is to turn around and kiss him, so you do. His face is just as bright as yours when you meet his eyes. His hair is messy and his skin is shining with perspiration, but he looks beautiful. He welcomes your kiss like he’s been waiting for it all day. Mouth chasing after your lips, capturing them in a quick kiss before pulling away.

It's the first time he’s seen your eyes since you’ve gotten home, and even then he couldn’t appreciate them like he could now. There's a different glow that he didn’t notice before. Maybe it's because he’s bound to you now, willing to do anything and everything for you.

“I love you,” you sigh, pressing your palm to his cheek. He looks so innocent now, the amber in his eyes now faded back to the chocolatey brown color you love so much.

“And I love that you’re mine.”

#ficswithluv #bangtanarmynet #networkbangtan #smutcentralnet #btswriterscollective #magicshopnet #bangtanhq #bangtanshadowfamily #kpopuniversenet #bhqdrabbles #hoseok x reader #werewolf bts #werewolf hoseok #hoseok smut

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jrueships · 3 years

Note

What wips do you have rn 👀 elaborate pspspspsp

Too many wips.. thats what I have rn.. too many...

WJBFJEBF so the ones I'm most focusing on rn is the spiderman! Donovan/royce au!! So far I wrote the whole exposition and I'm working on the 'enticing incident' LMFAO it's upgraded from my last summary so I have more to write because I'm insane but yeah! It's the one I want done the most but I'm also gonna go on a trip with my buds to this place without wifi for like? Four days so 😭 I might have to finish it there and wait forever until I can post it! And I'm still unsure about the ending!!! THE STRUGGLE

a shorter fic I have in mind still is the russell waiting for kd at a table for two but he never shows up fic! I just really like writing russell widjsbf but not much action happens there! Many just dialogue and a lot of pg fashion/life roasting from Russell's inner dialogue. He's very judgemental of people who give off douchebag frat bro vibes but can't help but feel intrigued by them JABFJWB oh and he makes fun of pg simping for gold diggers

The fics I have written partly but put back in the burner are my donovan/jaylen fic, marcus/giannis, pg/kawhi jealousy fic, pg/kawhi sm*t fic, pg/kawhi space au, and john/trae patroclus and Achilles au! Mainly because they're super long and I get nervous about writing them too much and wasting all my muse on one thing, so I get scared and back off 😭 but I'll tell u the basic summary of them!!

💙 donovan/jaylen fic is based off the idea of donovan going grocery shopping and getting all mad at the thought of the clippers LMFAO. Basically he's at a grocery store getting flowers for his sports medicine doctor for always putting up with his bullshit (never wanting to sit down and relax so he can actually heal. Playing through the pain). But as he shops, he keeps finding the simplest shit that reminds him of the clippers. Like he sees a claw machine and thinks about Kawhi and how collected that guy is, just chillin in the upper stands, while his team is facing a possible defeat. Donny gets all frustrated because like?? He can't just do that? Just sit back and chill while his team is playing without him? Donny HAS to help, has to GET OUT THERE!! kawhi Doesn't... but kawhi is the one who won a championship. And donovan starts doubting his leadership skills and if he's really good for his team.. if he let them down by being Too pushy and Too in their faces.

+ and then when he's getting a cute card to go with the flowers, he spots one that says "you're the man!!" And he thinks about terance Mann and his great game against them, how proud pg, basically his mentor, was of him. And it makes donovan think about his loss and how he couldn't get that same pride out of Dwyane Wade.

Overall, everything makes him feel useless af and he almost kicks a shelf out of anger. But he calms himself down and goes back to the flowers because he actually only got this little dinky green plant still struggling to bloom? He got it for himself because he felt bad for it LMAO but he still needs to get flowers for his sports medicine doctor. He's goes back to the flower section and who does he see? JAYLEN BROWN all gussied up in his depression fit LMFAO.. but they both are. Jaylen and him try to joke but they're both tired and awkward so it sucks IABDKSBD they basically just ask what the other is doing there. Jaylen is just traveling rn because he got nothin else to do IWBDKS but he bought Deuce a souvenir gift! And he asks Donovan if he can help him put it in his trunk (but really he doesn't need donovan's help. He can pick the toy up himself. He just knows that Donovan is too stubborn to accept help when he needs it but he'll always try helping others out! So he wants donny to think he's helping jaylen but in reality jaylen is trying to help HIm because at the car he invites Donovan to go meet up at a hotel with him where they kiss and have sad *** to make themselves feel better WKBFKSBX) that's basically it!!!! I have literally everything written but the *** scene they're literally my weakness.. I love the emotions they make but I hate.. describing the actions it takes to make them?? Idk I just feel cheesy writing it? It's very tedious and boring to actually crank my brain for a synonym to 'moan' because I'm tired of using that word but it's the only word that really applies to that situation without sounding weird, yknow?? Just very tedious

💙💙💙 OK so marcus/giannis idk bro like... it's just taking so long IWBKENF idk what to say except giannis makes a ton of small jokes at marcus

💙💙 OK so pg/kawhi jealousy fic... BASICALLY the plot is LeBron hosts some big rich guy party for the NBA because I need a reason to write all these people that live far apart interacting together OKAY??? But anyways it takes place after 2020 lakers winning the championship! Pg convince the clippers to come or else they'll look bad for being the only team not coming and they media will have a field day with them, so the clippers join the party. Basically everyone who later team up in 2021 are talking to eachother LMFAO like James hardon+kyrie+kd are talking while russell westbrook and beal are bonding over dance moves with a jealous John wall pouting in the corner. Obligatory Marcus and giannis interactions because I can. Kyle and demar are laughing together. It's all goood until LeBron waltzes over with his weird ass feet and starts talking to kawhi. Hes being all Handsome and Strong and lowkey flexing his win. Its starting to make pg suspicious so he keeps intruding upon the conversation. His inner dialogue is basically a ton of lebron hate KABFKWB. LeBron sometimes comments back to pg but ends up kinda tuning him outta the conversation and sly dissing him to kawhi like "how does it feel talking to someone who doesn't hit the side of the backboard lol"

Pg is starting to get nervous because he's trying to compete against LEBRON over who's the better teammate for kawhi.. and with his current playoff history.. he's not gonna win. He keeps trying to get kawhi out of the conversation, but lebron keeps drawing him back in and pg ends up giving up or he risks looking like an overbearing girlfriend.. So he slinks off in hopes of distracting himself. Originally, pg thought KAWHI would be the one standing all alone awkwardly in the room with no one to talk to, but it's slowly becoming HIM who's the lonely one LMFAO. He tries joining in bradley and Russ's conversation because HEY!! Everybody leaves russ! Russ must be SUUUPER lonely and DESPERATE for someone to talk to him‼ especially when his old ex durant is out there plotting with his two hydra heads!! paul thought, anyways, but finds out russ is actually having the time of his life clowning around with beal !! That just makes pg even more envious and he walks away with zero satisfaction of feeling superior JABDJSB he tries talking to John wall like "this party fuckin sucks bro" but John kinda barks at him and pg gives up. He tries talking to marcus and giannis but that was a mistake because the two smartiest smartasses in the room start roasting him together so he's shunned back to pretending like he's getting 700 thirsty women in his dms, AKA pretending like he got a text on his phone while he leans alone on a wall LMFAO. After glancing up periodically (and casually) to see if kawhi is still talking to lebron, he later gives up on playing popular and goes to hide in the bathroom like a fucking loser WHDJBFJEBD in summary he kinda broods and steams about how much he hates lebron and how he's 'so much better than him' and he's just thinking of petty insults against him to try and convince the kawhi in his mind not to leave him for lebron. He gets really mad and punches a mirror, but thank God lebron is playing bass boosted music so no one at the party hears it.

But, demar ends up knocking on the door. He needs to shit. So pg is like.. what do I do with this broken mirror and my bleeding hand.. so he tries to keep demar out and they banter and eventually demar notices its kinda weird for pg to be huddled up in the bathroom instead of partying.. he must be getting high or smthin. So he's like "that's fucking stupid. He can go get high in one of lebrons 700 rooms. Why The bathroom." So he just opens the door LANKDN and sees The Scene.

At first he's like "are u paying for that.." to which pg responds with "uhhh. I tripped and hit my head on it" (while clutching a bleeding fist) but then he realizes OHHH pg must be ... OH is he.. no.. he can't be limp wristed... blah blah they end up bonding over their funny situations: demar being jealous of kawhi and feeling like kyle thinks he sucks because of him. Pg being jealous of lebron and feeling like kawhi thinks he sucks because of him. Blah blah it's a bittersweet ending pg becomes a little less of a jerk blah blah I haven't finished it because I'm stupid and WEAK

💙💙💙💙 pg/kawhi space au is just too long I have to be in the mood to write it or I end up dismissing good details I could have included if i wasn't in such a burnt out mind!

💙💙💙 pg/kawhi sm*t fic I gotta be in the mood to detail the h*rny right 😭😭

💙💙💙 john/trae patroclus and Achilles is mainly just an idea but with no plot!

But yeah!!! Those are SOME of my wips!! This post is really long tho so I'll just shout out those!!!@ thank u for the interest tho that's so cute 😭😭😭 it helps me write more when I have a plot lined up to look off of and remember ideas so this is really helpful to me too!!! I'll be shocked if u read this far tbh!! But anyways THANK U ALWAYS FOR THE ASKS, ANON!!!!!

#ted asks #this one is so long #ted drabbles

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numba99 · 4 years

Text

The Lies Between Us

A/N: I have no idea where this came form I just started writing and this came out LMFAO honestly I don’t know how much I love this but uhh there’s not enough Quinn content for me and I needed to fill that void so I hope y’all enjoy either way. Word count: 2.7k

Warnings: smut

You shouldn’t care. You shouldn’t be jealous.You weren’t his girlfriend, you weren’t his anything, not really. Yet see his hands on her waist stung in a way you never anticipated it would. His hands used to hold you like that, she was in your spot. It was like a white hot knife to the heart, searing, unrelenting.

You were gripping your drink so hard you wondered if the glass might shatter in your hand. It would hurt less, you thought, than watching this. Watching him kiss the side of her neck, the spot he knew you loved so much. It shocked you how much hatred you could harbor for this nameless woman. It wasn’t her fault, how could she know? How could she know she was standing in your spot, with the man you’d fallen for? It wasn’t rational to hate her, but the alcohol flowing through your veins was making it difficult to see anything other than red. It wasn’t just her, though, you hated him too. Or you wanted to.

“Uh, is everything okay y/n?” your best friend Brock questioned. You quickly looked away from Quinn and the girl, fearing if he followed your eyes he’d see what was upsetting you. He’d put two and two together.

“I don’t feel great,” you lied, not looking at him. You hated lying to Brock, you really did, but that’s all you’ve been doing lately. He didn’t know about you and Quinn. When the two of you started hooking up a few months ago, you both agreed it would be better to keep things secret. You were in the same friend group, things would get complicated if other people got involved. Neither of you wanted to deal with the unsolicited opinions, about how it was a bad idea. Of course you knew that. When was it ever a good idea just to fuck someone? When did friends with benefits ever work?

It had been dumb, you absolutely knew it. But when Quinn looked at you, when he touched, when you felt his lips on you, well, all reasoning left you. He evoked something in you that no else did. It was primal, almost, the need you felt for him. It drove you wild to just be in the same room with him, and you knew he felt the same way. Some things you just can’t fake.

“Looks like you wanna kill someone,” Brock noted, sipping his drink. You could feel he wasn’t buying it. He knew you long enough to know something was up. Part of you wanted to come clean, to finally let it all be out in the open. But you were scared Brock would be mad, and you wouldn’t blame him. You’d been lying to him for months, sneaking around to fuck his best friend. He'd be furious with you, you were sure of it. You couldn’t deal with that right now, it would be too much.

“Just some stupid boy,” you lied.

“Do I know him?” he asked casually. He was used to hearing you vent about the shitty men you came in contact with.

“No.” Another lie. God you hated yourself. Since when were you the person who lied? To their best friend no less. You wanted to blame Quinn for making you keep this all a secret, but even through your anger you knew that was not fair. It was as much your idea as it was his.

You hated how much you enjoyed it in the beginning. It had been fun, sneaking around, the fear of getting caught, the absolute thrill of not. It was intoxicating. You thought of all the places you’d managed to fuck without anyone knowing, how each time had been better than the last. One of those times happened to be in the very club you sat in tonight. You thought that if you saw Quinn pulling the girl he was with to the bathroom where he’d had you... well you just might kill someone then.

“Whoever he is, he’s a loser. You deserve better than some asshole who’s gonna get you so upset,” Brock tried to comfort you. It just made you feel more guilty. Would he be saying the same thing if he knew who you were upset with?

“Thanks,” you replied flatly. You were about to open you mouth to say something, but Quinn caught your eye again. He was kissing her, this time on the lips. You felt sick to your stomach, and not because of the alcohol you drank. You couldn’t do this, you couldn’t be here anymore.

“I have to go,” you jumped up suddenly, nearly teetering over.

Brock’s hand found your arm, keeping you from falling. “Y/n, are you sure you’re okay? Something seems really wrong,” he was studying your face now. You’d have to put on your best act. Your best lies.

“I’m fine, just had too much to drink,” you started. It really wasn't a lie, it was hard for you think straight with the mixture of alcohol and pain swimming through your body. “It’s not a big deal, I'll be over it tomorrow, I just need to get some rest.” You definitely would not be over this tomorrow, but you needed Brock to believe you were okay. You needed to get somewhere that you could be alone.

“Let me take you home,” Brock replied.

You forced a laugh. “I’m not a child I don’t need an escort. I’ll make it home fine.”

“Stay at my place tonight then? So I can check on you when I get home,” Brock insisted. He was worried about you, and you knew he wasn’t going to drop it. It pained you how much he cared about you in that moment, you didn’t think you deserved it. But you also knew fighting it wasn’t going to work. You figured you could just slip into the guest room and have a melt down before he got home. You could be asleep by then, or at least pretend to be asleep.

“Alright, yeah,” you nodded, “But I just want some time to myself. Stay and have fun, okay? I’ll be okay I promise.” Brock agreed, slipping you the key to his place. You forced another smile, saying you’d see him later before heading out. Tears were already pressing at the back of your eyes as you slipped into the car you called.

You wanted to be mad at Quinn, well you were, but really you were more mad at yourself. You brought on this shit storm. Of course you caught feelings for him, who were you kidding? From the first time you kissed, you knew, you felt the sweetest spark in the pit of your stomach. It wasn't lust, it was love. You loved Quinn. As much as you hated to admit it, you did. You didn’t want to be his secret, you didn’t want to hide anymore. But he didn’t feel the same, at least you didn’t think so. It always seemed to be about sex for him. You couldn't tell him you loved him, it would ruin everything.

So you ruined things differently. You cut him off completely. No texts, no calls, nothing. It was wrong, you knew that, but you'd be lying for months now what was one final shitty act? You avoided him for awhile, making up excuses to Brock why you couldn’t come out. Working late. Friend needed you. Whatever worked.

Until Quinn showed up at your door, demanding answers. The words spilled from you venomously, shocking yourself. You told him he wasn’t worth it, that you didn’t want anything to do with him. More lies. A part of you wanted him to fight for you, to ask you to stay or try to talk things out. For a second, there was a flash in his eyes that made you think he would. But he left without a word, leaving you all alone.

That encounter had been a few weeks ago. You were running short on excuses to tell Brock, which is why you came out tonight. You convinced yourself you didn’t care, that you could handle seeing him. And maybe you could have, if it was just him, but seeing him with someone else stung. It confirmed to you that he never felt anything more for you than just a hook up buddy. How else could he have moved on so quickly?

Tears were slowly freely be the time you hit the guest bed in Brock’s place. You didn’t bother getting undressed, just kicking off your shoes and curling into a ball. You felt ridiculous, but you needed to get it all out. Maybe then you would feel better.

You’re not sure how much time had passed, but you knew it couldn't have been that long when you heard the front door open. Fuck, you should have known Brock would come back early to check on you. There was no way you could hide that you’d been crying, so you turned away from the door, hoping you could pretend to be sleeping and he'd leave you be.

“Y/n?” asked a familiar voice. But it wasn’t Brock’s.

“Quinn?” you gasped. He was the last person you were expecting. “What are you doing here?”

“Brock said you left in a rush, that you seemed upset. I wanted to check on you,” he told you, hovering awkwardly in the door way.

“Why do you care?” you asked. You intended for it to sound cold and uncaring, but you sounded more sad than anything else.

“Because I-” Quinn paused, as if he was stopping himself from saying what he wanted. “I don’t understand what happened between us,” he said finally.

“Us? Was there ever really and us?” you questioned.

He looked hurt. “I mean I thought...” his voice trailed off.

“You could just call me whenever you wanted to fuck and I'd come running?” you filled in the blanks.

“Is that what you think of me? Of how I felt?” Quinn questioned. You don't know how you were expecting him to respond, but it was like that.

“You couldn’t have felt much if you were making out with some random girl,” you huffed.

“That random girl was my shitty attempt to get over you,” Quinn replied, “And it didn’t work.” You stared at him, feeling like you couldn’t possibly have heard him right. If he was trying to get over you did that mean...

“Fuck,” you said, because you didn't know what else to say.

“What?”

“I think I made a big mistake,” you began, “By pushing you away.”

“You mean...”

“I liked you,” you replied, “I still like you, who am I kidding? I just thought you didn’t feel the same and it was all getting to be too much. I don't know, god it sounds so stupid now.” You shook your head at yourself.

“I like you too,” Quinn replied. It made your heart flutter. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I shoulda said something, I was just scared it might fuck everything up.”

“Apparently fucking everything up is my specialty,” you sighed, both of you laughing a bit. “I am sorry though, seriously. I shouldn’t have said what I did and treated you like that. I’m really sorry.”

It was then you realized Quinn had made his way over to you during the course of your conversation. He put his arm around you, giving you a reassuring squeeze. “It’s okay, I’m just glad I know what it was all about now,” Quinn replied. You were really looking in his eyes for the first time since he arrived and that pull of desire started to bubble up in you.

“Quinn... would it be crazy if we tried this? Us? Like no hiding, no secrets? Be together like normal people,” you asked, your heart hammering. Just because he forgave you, didn’t mean hed want to be with you.

Quinn didn’t leave much time for you to wonder, though. “There’s nothing I’d want more.” His lips found yours and in an instant all the pain you’d felt in the past few weeks disappeared. Everything about him kissing you and touching you felt so right. It was impossible to feel anything but bliss when he held you, his lips moving perfectly against yours.

Before you knew it, Quinn was pressing you into the mattress. You savored the familiar heaviness of his body on top of yours. You missed it so much. You missed him so much. Clothing peeled off between kisses and nipping at skin. Quinn slid his hand between your legs, running his finger over your already wet core.

“God I missed this,” Quinn groaned, stealing the words right out of your mouth. He slipped his middle in ring finger into you, just as you liked it. No one knew what you liked like Quinn did. They curled inside you, pressing your most sensitive spot.

“Quinn,” you gasped as his lips found your boobs. His tongue sliding across your nipple, making you shiver in the best way. It had been so long since you felt him like this, you were going to last long.

Quinn seemed as eager as you; you could feel him hardening against you. It only drove you crazier. When Quinn’s thumb found your clit, it was over for you. It took just a few moment of the extra stimulation to send you over the edge, moaning his name as your hand tangled through his hair. He always loved when you pulled it.

Quinn smirked up at you as he always did when he made you cum. It never got old to him, and you loved that. “Come here,” you purred, pulling him back to your lips. As you kissed, you looped your fingers into his boxers, pulling off the one piece of clothing that separated the two of you.

“Need.. you.. now,” Quinn murmured between kisses. You weren't about to object. Quinn pressed into you easily, as you were slick form your first orgasm and he knew exactly how fast he could go with you. He found his pace right away, building your second orgasm quickly.

Quinn was peppering kisses all over, something that gave you butterflies even now. Sex with Quinn was always good, but this was different. It was more than just sex now, which made it so much better than you ever thought it could be.

“Quinn I’m gonna-” you lost your breath in your second orgasm before you could get the words out. Quinn let out a low curse, feeling you tighten around him. He only managed a few more thrusts before he was cumming along with you.

Quinn was smiling again, though this time it was less pride and more joy. He was happy to be with you, really with you. Before either of you could say a word, the front door opening broke the silence between the two of you. Your eyes widened at each other, knowing there was no way out of this. You had no time to even get your clothes on, so you just scrambled to get under the covers.

“Well would you look at what we have here,” Brock was biting back a smirk in the doorway.

“We can explain,” you responded quickly, feeling a blush tint your cheeks.

“What that the two of you have been fucking for months? Yeah we knew that,” Petey piped up from behind Brock. They both looked thoroughly amused.

“You guys knew? How come you didn't say anything?” Quinn asked incredulously.

“How come you didn’t say anything?” Petey shot back, brow raised. Fair.

“You’re not mad?” you asked.

“Not at all,” Brock shook his head, “Just glad you two idiots figured it out.”

“Thanks Brock,” you smiled at your best friend, feeling the weight of the last few months lift from your shoulders.

“Of course. Now you two lovebirds enjoy yourselves... just don’t stain my sheets,” Brock closed the door behind him. Even in the dark you could see Quinn’s cheeks were just as red as yours. However, embarrassment quickly gave way to joy as he planted a quick kiss on your lips before pulling you on to his chest. You and Quinn finally had each other, in the way you truly want, and that was all that matter.

#Quinn Hughes imagine #nhl fanfiction #NHL imagine #hockey fic

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phantom-curve · 4 years

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find the strength, find the melody pt. 7

lmfao I love how I posted an update 2 days ago like “this fic will have sporadic posts! idk when they’re coming!” and then I spent the last two days writing this. when that insomnia inspiration hits ya gotta just go with it!

this chapter went in a completely different direction than I had planned on soooo yeah...honestly not sure where this is gonna end up! the characters from my OC novel that I’m loosely basing this story around didn’t have a connection before they ran into each other so when Julie gave me this I almost cut it because I genuinely wasn’t sure where it was going. I think I’ve almost figured it out and I’m pretty sure I know how this will end. and now we all get to laugh at me together because it’s definitely gonna be more than 3-4 chapters. it might even be more than 6. Luke’s POV will have roughly the same amount of chapters I think, possibly longer because boy oh boy does he have A LOT to say (most of it about Julie). fair warning: this one has an awkward cut off because of the way I need to set up the next chapter. sorry about that.

and now something I probably should be embarrassed to admit: I don’t remember writing the part where I managed to sneak an “I’ve Got The Music” reference in so now we know for sure this show has infiltrated my brain. it’s fine, I’m fine, at least I WILL BE WHEN WE GET A S2!!!! KENNY!!!! SAVE ME HERE!!! MAKE MY UNHINGED OBSESSIONS WORTH IT!!!!!

taglist: @blue-hat-girl, @lwhoscribbles, @bluefyoto94, @5sosmukefan, @moonlightxnder, @leahthewonder, @kat-maybe-not, @lukewearingbeanies, @imastrugglingartist

It was no small miracle that Julie made it through the afternoon without Ray asking for details about her supposed ‘plan’ to play with the Sunset Curve boys. She didn’t think she would have been able to pull off spinning a story quite as well as Luke had earlier. She had expected at least a small amount of interrogating about when she had started playing again, but apparently the news that she was playing at all, let alone with other people in front of an audience, was enough for Ray to ignore all of the other plot holes involved in this scheme. He seemed to have almost forgotten the meeting with Principal Lessa entirely, humming on the drive home, kissing her forehead and turning her loose to freak out alone in her room while he sat down to work on his computer in the dining room. Julie took full advantage of the time alone to restlessly pace her room and send Flynn a 911 text. Her bestie’s contact photo lit up the phone screen 30 seconds later.

“Okay, I’m hiding in the basement girl’s bathroom, so you’ve got exactly 5 minutes before I get too grossed out to stay here.”

Julie’s chest loosened at the sound of Flynn’s comforting voice. There wasn’t anyone else in the world that loved her the way Flynn did. It was reassuring and made it easy for Julie to let loose.

“Lessa told Dad about the music program and then You-Know-Who ambushed us outside of her office and basically forced me to agree to perform with them.”

“Voldemort was at Los Feliz?!”

Flynn’s gasp was overflowing with sarcasm.

“Flynn!” Julie whined. “Be serious! Luke showed up out of nowhere again! And he did the thing again! The charming his way into getting what he wants thing! And now I have to play with his freaking band! What the hell am I supposed to do?”

There was silence for a moment. When Flynn spoke again her voice was softer, more serious.

“You don’t have to play with them, Jules. You can tell them no, and they’ll have no choice but to respect that. The only person who can make you do anything is you. But...I kinda think you might want to play with them.”

“What?! No!”

Julie’s exclamation was a second late. Flynn didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to. Julie sighed.

“Okay fine. There’s something about Luke that makes me want to play again. Are you happy? He gave mom’s song back to me when I thought it was lost forever. He’s the only person who’s heard me perform it, and he...no one else has ever made me feel that good about my music before.”

Julie thanked her lucky stars Flynn wasn’t in the room to see her blush. There was a long moment of contemplative silence on the other end of the line. When she spoke again, there was that extra note of take-no-shit in Flynn’s voice that made Julie sit up and really listen.

“I think you should give it a chance. Who knows, maybe this is some sort of sign from your mom. You said it was a miracle he would have even found that song in the first place. You said it felt like she was there with you when you were playing. Maybe she made sure it would find its way back to you when you were ready for it.”

Julie didn’t say anything, just worried her bottom lip with her teeth. Her heart beat a little faster in her chest. It had felt a little too perfect to be just a coincidence. The way Luke kept appearing in her life at the exact moments she needed him someone or something to help her keep moving forward. Flynn sighed.

“Look, I’m not saying it is your mom. But I’m not saying there’s not some kind of greater power out there that keeps pushing the two of you together. I think you should give it a chance. If nothing else, you can get back in the music program and we can bring Double Trouble to life in time for our Junior Showcase!”

Julie couldn’t help laughing. Her eyes felt misty, love for her best friend welling up in her heart.

“I never agreed to that name you know. But thanks, Flynn. I’ll think about it.”

“Good. Now. I gotta get the fuck out of this grimy ass bathroom. Love you, bye!”

Flynn waited for her to return the sentiment before hanging up. Julie flopped back on her bed, letting her breath out in a loud whoosh as she hit the comforter. A glance at her phone told her she only had a couple hours until Luke and the other boys would be out of school and on their way to her house. She tried her best to ignore the way that thought made her stomach roll with a type of nervousness she would rather not name. It was easier to blame it on nerves over playing with new people rather than nerves over playing with Luke. Except...now that she actually thought about it, she had played with Luke before. Her head spun, eyes fluttering shut as she remembered the one music class she had shared with Luke last year.

She had only been a freshman, stuck in a lowly Introduction to Composition class. It was supposed to be for new songwriters. Julie had a little more experience than the rest of the class, after all she’d been kind of composing with her mom for a few years now, so when it had been time to write a duet for their final big project she had gotten paired up with the classmate whose skill level most matched hers. It was supposed to be a way for them to challenge each other and grow as writers instead of one person doing most of the work. Julie had been paired with Luke.

He’d been a grumbly sophomore, held back for failing his last semester of Intro to Comp the year before. He had been stuck there only for the second semester, forced to double up between their class and his second year Composition class. Julie hadn’t been all that excited about partnering with him. He hadn’t really seemed to care about the class at all, and even though Julie also sometimes felt like it was holding her back a little bit, she never once voiced that thought. It was a privileged mindset, and Julie was well aware that she had an advantage over her classmates since her mother was a professional songwriter. Luke, on the other hand, had made it well known that he felt like he was wasting his time just waiting to get through the semester so he could move up to the Advanced Composition class that he felt he truly belonged in. Julie could usually do no more than roll her eyes in those moments.

It was true that Luke was talented. His guitar playing was impressive, his lyrics were heartfelt and sometimes even downright poetic. Julie just didn’t think anyone deserved specific things in life because they happened to be naturally talented at something. Their songwriting experience had been...interesting to say the least. And short. It had ended abruptly when Julie’s mother had died 5 days later. In the end, they’d only worked together for two 40-minute class periods before she had been lost in the fog of grief that consumed her in the weeks following the loss of her mom.

Julie shot up in bed, eyes wide. She didn’t even fully remember what had happened with the half-finished song they had been working on. Errant notes echoed in her head, like a song that had only existed in dreams until now. She absently wondered if Luke had held onto that as well. It was no wonder she had kept that particular memory suppressed all this time. That time in her life had been particularly painful. Luke had been gentle with her though. Almost all traces of his typical arrogance gone in the two short class periods they’d had to work together. He had kept things light, steering their songwriting in the direction of a rock ballad more than a true duet. Julie hadn’t minded. She had been floating through classes by then anyway, on edge every second she was away from her mom’s bedside. It had been easier to work on something that didn’t have as many sappy emotions attached to it.

She groaned, burying her face in her hands. No wonder Luke had been so sweet with her. He must have had a front row seat to her breakdown throughout the last year. She hadn’t even realized it. Had never before seen the way he watched her from a distance, checked in on her during class. She should have. Now that she was thinking about it, trying to identify every instance, she could name a million. How had she missed it for so long? How had he gone so long without saying anything? The Luke she remembered was terrible at keeping his mouth shut. He had always been ready to speak his mind, never afraid to start a discourse. It didn’t track that he had been holding himself back. Unless...it was more about her musical ability than anything else. She remembered now; Luke had been thrilled to partner with her for the duet. He had made some remark about how her sound was the perfect complement to his. Maybe he only cared about the ways they would mesh as songwriters. She could only hope that’s what his words had meant.

She felt more secure in her footing as a musician when it came to dealing with Luke than she ever had as a simple teenaged girl. If it was just about the music she could compartmentalize better, keep herself from getting too emotionally invested. Music had always been a safe zone, neutral. She breathed in and out deeply, remembering the technique Dr. Turner had taught her to slow her breathing and recenter her mind. She could do this. It was just about the music. They would play a song together, Julie would get back into the music program, and life would move forward much in the way it had before. Except Julie would actually participate in class this time. She had the music back in her soul, she wasn’t ever going to let it go again. On her next exhale, she heard the doorbell ring. Showtime. Julie zipped down the stairs, ripping open the door before her dad had a chance to get more than three feet away from his computer. Luke, Alex and Reggie all stumbled back a step as she tumbled outside, pulling the front door shut behind her. The three teenaged boys shared a look.

“Studio. Now.”

Julie raced down the path to her mom’s studio before they could react, not even waiting to see if they followed her. If they were smart, if they truly wanted to do this, they would. She hauled the garage doors open, only turning around when she had the piano at her back. The wood felt warm and solid, almost like she had her mom as a support behind her instead of an instrument. The boys appeared seconds later, Luke leading the way. He stopped a couple feet inside of the studio, studying her with wide open earnest eyes. She let out a deep breath. Reggie spoke up before she could get a word out.

“Woah, Julie, this studio is so cool! It’s like a tiny home! A musical tiny home in a botanical garden!!”

His green eyes were wide, expression awed as he spun to take in the space that Julie and her mom had spent countless hours turning into theirs.

“How did you get chairs on the ceiling?! Are you, like, a witch and a siren?!! Man, you and your mom must have made some serious magic in here.”

Luke’s arm shot out faster than lightening to backhand Reggie’s bicep. Reggie cringed away, a soft owww! just barely audible over the loud sigh Alex let out as he buried his face in his hands. Reggie shrugged, looking back and forth between his bandmates before giving Julie a confused yet apologetic glance. What had he said wrong this time? The giggle that bubbled out of her was as unexpected as it was welcomed. Warmth blazed in her heart, memories of the time she had spent in here with her mom washing over her with a kind of hazy bliss she hadn’t ever experienced before. She gazed at Reggie, letting that same feeling of motherly love from the night before fill her up. It was all she could do not to react to Luke’s jaw dropping when she gave Reggie a soft smile.

“We did. We made so much magic in here.”

The words were gentle and filled with a kind of genuine love that overshadowed all other feelings of awkward nervousness. Alex and Luke relaxed instantly, Reggie’s face losing all traces of uncertainty as he beamed at her with a smile so large it almost looked painful. Julie couldn’t help but let herself return it, just a little bit. The silence that settled between them was more comfortable, the tense moment from earlier broken. Julie studied the boys in front of her. She hadn’t ever thought of them as friends per se. They knew each other, would say hi if they encountered one another outside the walls of the high school, but at the same time, they didn’t actually know each other. Julie’s little run in with Luke the night before had made that painfully obvious. She wasn’t really sure what to make of them.

“Are you guys actually serious about this whole Showcase scheme? Did Luke even tell you about his dumb plan?”

“Hey! That plan is genius. Even your dad agreed. He seems pretty cool.”

Julie couldn’t help the fond way she rolled her eyes. Alex was quick to reassure her that they did, in fact, know about the plan.

“Not that I actually think it’s a particularly well thought out plan.” He stated with a lingering glare at Luke’s back.

The planner in question did his best to ignore the skeptical look on Julie’s face.

“Julie, you really don’t deserve to be out of the music program.” Reggie’s voice was soft and sincere. “You have the voice of an angel. If we can help convinced Ms. Harrison and Principal Lessa to give you your spot back it will be so worth it. And even if we don’t, it’ll be worth the looks on their faces when we rock the pants off that crowd!”

Julie laughed in spite of herself, slightly reassured even as she chewed nervously on her lip. Luke took a few bouncy steps forward, pulling her attention to him completely. His eyes locked on hers and she was sure she was drowning, throat tightening at the look he was giving her.

“You got this. I wouldn’t have come up with this idea if I didn’t believe it 100%.”

Honestly, that was what scared her the most about it.

“We don’t even have anything prepared.”

Her voice was barely a whisper, unsteady and wavering. Luke took a few more steps towards her, Reggie and Alex ghosting along silently a few feet behind him. Julie didn’t even notice, so laser focused on the brunette boy in the cut-up tank top in front of her. She watched his muscles flex as he reached into his back pocket, flicking out a piece of folded up paper in a move scarily reminiscent of when he had given her mom’s song back to her. He bit his lip, head ducking a little to be closer to hers as he unfolded the worn sheets of scrappy notebook paper. She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, focusing on the messy handwriting in front of her.

“I thought you would say that.”

The smile on his face was so soft and sweet it should have been illegal.

“It’s called ‘Bright’. It’s a Sunset Curve song that we never performed because it’s missing something. Look,” his bare shoulder brushed hers as he shifted to point at the notes, warmth seeping through the thin material of her t-shirt, “it’s perfect for your range. I was thinking, if we add a little bit of piano here and here,” fire blazed a path up her arm as his fingers traced along the opening notes and chorus, forearm flexing against her own, bare skin brushing in teasing licks, “it’ll be perfect.”

Julie forced herself to focus on what he was saying, eyes roving across the paper. She hummed a little under her breath, hearing what he described in her head. His eyes lit up when he saw her get it, feet springing up and down as he dipped even closer towards her and started to sing.

We will rise, through the night

You and I

We will fight to shine together

Bright forever

His voice vibrated in her chest, the sound filling her with an emotion she couldn’t fully identify. Alex and Reggie bobbed along behind him, Reggie’s fingers plucking out the baseline on an invisible guitar while Alex nodded along to an unseen beat. Julie could envision the way the song would sound with a complete band, could practically see herself fitting seamlessly into the mix with her piano and vocals. She couldn’t help the smile that curved her lips as she joined in, reading the lyrics off of the page.

And rise through the night,

You and I

We will fight to shine together

“Go up high.”

Luke cut in, fingers twirling towards the ceiling. Julie automatically made the adjustment in notes to harmonize her voice with his for the last line, holding the final syllable for a beat longer than him.

Bright forever

“Yes!”

Luke’s arm pumped up and down, bicep flexing and distracting Julie momentarily. She dropped her head shyly, trying to hide her blush. When her cheeks cooled a moment later she looked back up at the boy in front of her. His eyes were glowing, smile stretched a mile wide as he stared at her. Unconditional belief in her was practically oozing from his pores. She felt her face soften as their eyes locked, giving him her own sweet smile that was meant just for the two of them. She thanked him with a gentle murmur, heart melting as he simply bit his lower lip and nodded.

A throat cleared in the background, and Julie was snapped out of their private bubble by the sound. Her entire face felt engulfed in flames as she looked over Luke’s shoulder to see Alex and Reggie still standing a few paces behind him. Reggie’s face was bright, his sunshine temperament back in full force. Alex was a little more guarded, but he was giving her an encouraging smile and there was cautious optimism swimming in his sage green eyes as he fiddled with one of his drumsticks. She inhaled deeply and let her breath out in one smooth exhale. The same sort of peacefulness from the night before settled over her.

“Okay. Okay, so we’re doing this.”

Luke’s whoop was so loud both her and Alex jumped. Reggie raced forward with a cheer to sling one arm around Luke’s shoulders and the other around Julie’s, pulling them so close to his chest that their noses nearly touched. Julie saw the blush staining Luke’s cheeks and felt her own warm to match. Alex coughed again.

“Reg, c’mon. Let it settle for just a sec before you go all human octopus on the poor girl.”

“Oh, right! Sorry, Jules!!”

Reggie released both of them quickly. Julie flicked her gaze between the three boys, enjoying the glimpses at their band dynamic. Alex’s words had sounded a bit exasperated, but there was a fondness running through them as well. He gave a half-hearted roll of his eyes at Reggie’s abrupt movements and reached his own long arm out to pull the dark-haired boy close.

“Help me unload the van? I still don’t trust our little Lukey boy with my kit.”

“Hey! That was one time!”

Luke sounded downright offended. The dark look Alex leveled at him in response had Julie choking back a laugh with a badly disguised cough. Clearly once of whatever he did was enough. Luke pouted, arms flexing as they crossed over his chest.

“You put your foot through my bass drum, and you think that isn’t reason enough not to trust you with it ever again?”

Luke sputtered, eyes flicking to Julie and back to Alex as his ears reddened.

“I told you I didn’t see it!”

“It’s the biggest part of the kit, dumbass. Literally the hardest thing to miss.”

Alex’s voice was as unimpressed as it was dismissive. Luke threw his hands in the air as the other boys headed out of the studio, laughing amongst themselves. It was clear this was a regular argument between the two, no heat or anger left in it, only a loving sort of tease. Like the way Carlos still brought up that time she accidentally gave him a concussion double-bouncing him off of their neighbor’s trampoline when he wanted something from her. Or the way her Tía would still laugh as she remembered the time her mom had almost gotten them both arrested for a bar fight on her 21st birthday, Ray affectionately filling in the parts that she tried to leave out. Warmth bloomed in her chest. This wasn’t just a band, wasn’t just a ragtag trio of friends. These guys were brothers. This was a family. And they were letting her into that intimate circle.

The thought was both humbling and nerve-wracking. This Showcase was a big deal. It wasn’t just some school assignment. This could impact their future as a band career-wise. They were all trusting her with this, fully believing in her, or at least, fully believing in Luke’s faith in her abilities. She wasn’t sure anyone had ever believed in her like that. Not anyone that hadn’t known her since she was in diapers. Her head swam, knees feeling a bit weak. She stumbled her way over to the couch, collapsing onto it with a barely audible huff. Luke was in front of her instantly, crouched down so they were face to face. His hands twitched in his lap, but he didn’t reach for her.

“Hey. Julie. Breathe.”

She sucked in a breath, zeroing in on nothing more than his face. After a few seconds she realized he was breathing in and out slowly, just loud enough for her to hear over the jumble of thoughts running amok in her brain. She matched her own inhales and exhales to his, the room slowly coming back into focus as her head cleared. He gave her one of those soft smiles she was starting to think of as hers.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. But I wouldn’t have stopped you in school if I didn’t think you were gonna rock it. I heard you last night. I listened to you for years before last night.”

His chin dropped in embarrassment for just a second before he pulled his gaze back up to hers. Julie felt like she was on the edge of a cliff. Not for the first time she wished she knew how long this version of Luke had been lurking under the surface. It took everything in her not to let herself step off that ledge and fall.

“Music is in your soul. It’s a part of you. Not everyone is like that, but you are. Your life without music...”

He tapered off like the thought was physically painful to him, eyebrows furrowing in a slight wince.

“Living without music would be like living in a world without stars: dark and empty and uninspired. You deserve galaxies, Julie. You deserve the chance to shine exactly like the star you are, and the world deserves the chance to hear you. Please, just...have a little faith?”

She saw it then. As he gazed at her with those bottomless ocean eyes, with that special smile on his lips and sincerity bleeding through every word, she knew. Luke was like her. Luke got it. In a way that no one else except her mom ever had. That’s what this was. They were kindred spirits, two sides of the same coin. And that feeling? The wind rushing through her hair and stealing her breath away while her limbs all turned to jelly feeling? That was definitely her falling head over heels off of the cliff and into Luke Patterson completely.

“Okay.”

She breathed out, and his answering smile set off the butterflies she thought had finally left her stomach. He stood up and held a hand out to her, easily pulling her to her feet in one smooth movement.

“You know,” his smile turned rueful, “eventually you’re gonna have to answer one of my questions with something other than ‘okay’. That’s a pretty passive word, and I’m not really a passive type of person. I wanna start hearing some ‘hell yeah’s and ‘awesome’s pretty soon.”

Julie rolled her eyes, moving away from Luke to set up her keyboard. He gave her a bouncy little shrug of his shoulders, and she let the levity of his joke wash over her, releasing the last bit of nerves. She could do this. Luke believed in her. Her mom believed in her. Hell, Alex and Reggie believed in her and she barely even knew them. She could do this, just like her mom had said.

Noise from the other boys making their way up the driveway had her rushing to pull both doors to the studio open so they could haul in Alex’s drum kit. The three of them left together to grab amps and guitars, Julie finishing the rest of the set up in the garage. Before she had time to overthink things or freak out again, they were all settled into their spots and Alex was counting down for their first run through. Fingers against the keys, Julie breathed out, opened her mouth, and began to play.

26 notes · View notes

scandeniall · 4 years

Text

not afraid to fall

pairing: akaashi x reader

summary/warnings: akaashi reveals that hes fallen for you in a music video. Based off this song/ implied anxiety attack, profanity

wc: 2.4k

The persistent buzzing of your phone is enough to jolt you from your sleep and you regret forgetting to shut it off for the night. Finally, a day off and a plan to sleep in ruined by a spam of notifications. You could hardly get a break from the buzz as you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes.

Your eyes narrowed at the unusual amount of texts from your friends, as you scrolled without really reading. Your friend’s group chat had been going crazy; however, you were also met with a hoard of individual ones. You were met with confusion as you just eyed the messages from the preview screen.

“DID YOU SEE IT”

“WHAT THE FUCK (Y/N)”

“TWITTER IS EATING THIS UP RN”

“LMFAO HIS STANS ARE GONNA COME FOR YOUR NECK NOW”

Were among several key smashes and demands to text back. Finally, you were met with some sort of answer. A simple “Look at Rising Springs new music video.” It did not offer much clarity because as far as you knew the band who you worked for as a photographer weren’t set to release a music video anytime soon. You would’ve been at the shoot getting behind the scenes pictures. Or, one of them would have told you. It’s not like Bokuto could keep anything a secret anyways. Kuroo, would’ve been the one to make sure you had the dates in your calendar. And then there was Akaashi. He definitely would’ve told you.

Your question marks were instantaneously met with a link. Clicking it, you noticed the unfamiliar song and continued watching. The second you got to the chorus you saw what everyone had been talking about and your jaw dropped. The lead actress in the music video looked almost identical to you. You had to rewind the video to even catch the lyrics.

‘On the edge of something real I have a choice, but I don’t know what to feel Before I choose, lemme know that you’ll be here’

“How’s it looking,” a calm voice from over your shoulder took you out of the trance you’d been in staring at your computer screen. You’d been editing one of the boy’s photoshoot, making their ideas for their EP cover come to life.

“Hey Keiji,” you murmured slightly, moving your head so that he could see the screen. “Tsukki’s height makes coloring a pain in the ass. Even the white balance hates him.”

“I’ll tell him to shrink a little for you.” Akaashi opts for turning your swivel chair so now you are facing him.

“Why are you still here anyways. The suns down,” you question looking up. Your hands reach for his swinging them between you.

“We were writing and recording a few demos today. Saw you on my way out for the night.” You’re currently in one of the lounge rooms at the record label to get your work done. A relatively plain room save for an overpriced couch, vending machine, and circular table with swivel chairs.

“You should go home then. I know how tired you get after demo days.”

Akaashi responds to your slight squeeze of his hand with one of his own, before nodding. “Do you need anything before I go?” This time he helps to pull you up so that the two of you were closer in height, hands not letting go of yours.

“What could I possibly need when I have the best vending machine in the world,” you shoot a glance at the machine behind you and Akaashi’s breaks into a soft smile at the joke. Everyone knows that vending machine sucks. It has the worst snacks and is known to even steal your money. A raise of his eyebrow causes you to reassure him that you’re fine. “It’s alright, I promise. Now you get home and get some sleep, you guys have an interview tomorrow.”

You don’t miss the way his eyes glance at your lips as you return the look, but neither of you take any action. His eyes are swimming in thought; however, he pulls his hands away from yours just nodding. “You’ll be there, tomorrow right?” Your nod is met with an awkward pat on the shoulder before the musician heads out, closing the door behind him.

“What is wrong with me.” Akaashi mumbles face palming as he exits down the long hallway. — Your breath gets caught in your throat the way Akaashi grabs the lookalike’s hands the way you usually do. To anyone just watching a video it may have seemed like a sweet action, but it was one you always tended to do when talking to him. You even noticed the gentle squeezing of hands back and forth. As the chorus approaches youre mesmerized at the way the camera zooms into his eyes before panning out to the entire band, singing, and playing in the rain. It’s accompanied by flashbacks which you recognize as memories between the two of you. This particular memory shows him being comforted, with a simple touch on his shoulder. However, you know that the real moment was much more than anyone else would ever know.

‘Cause I’m not afraid to fall If you’re the one who catches me Tell that you’ll be there when I’m bout to lose it all You’re the one who helps me see that sometimes it’s ok to fall’

“Look at me,” your stern voice follows the way you firmly cup Akaashi’s cheeks. His eyes remain closed as you attempt to coax him out of the hole, he’s thought himself into. “Hey-hey, it’s ok. You’re gonna do fine.” You ignore the concerned glances of his bandmates and the rushing of people all around you guys backstage. You quickly go over several options in your head, before quickly taking the camera strap off your body and mindlessly handing it to the closest person to you.

You carefully move your hand down to his, before leaning up to his ear. “Hey Keiji, I’m going to take your guitar for a moment, and then we’re going to get out of here for a moment.” You feel his shaky hands let go of the instrument as you pass it off to Bokuto, who you share a silent conversation with. Your nod, and quiet promise to bring him back is all you say before intertwining your fingers with one of Akaashi’s. You ignore the sweaty skin as you gently tug him along and into an empty hallway. The entire way there you could feel the sluggishness in his steps and your look back at him reveals the glassiness in his eyes

Your hands cup his cheeks again as he wordlessly leans against the wall. The clamminess of his skin does nothing to gross you out. “Keiji, what’s wrong,” You’ve got 20 minutes until he has to go on stage, and you work to keep your voice calming and leveled, instead of giving in to the slight panic beginning to rise. Your attempt to speak again, is stopped when one of his hands’ clasps around your wrist, with him leaning into the touch.

“You know you can tell me right.” His nod has you reiterating as the two of you ease down to sit on the floor.

One of his hands begins to fidget with your fingers as the other goes to run a shaky hand through his hair. You say nothing from your spot in front of him and the two of you sit in silence for a moment. “I’m going to fuck up tonight and let everyone down,” is what he manages to get out in between heavy breaths. The slight calm you’d managed to elicit was threatened again and you shifted so that you were on your knees, placing your hands on his shoulders.

“No-no-no Keiji, you’re going to be amazing, ok. Your fans are so excited to see you tonight. They’re here for you, and to see you absolutely kill it on stage tonight. Like you do every night. God, you’re so talented and the whole world knows it.” You weren’t even intentionally meant to just cheer him up, as you just spoke honestly. You’d noticed it hours ago, how on edge he’d been, and it was understandable. The venue they’re playing tonight is huge, the largest they’d ever done. And to add salt to the wound, tonight was a concert meant to be recorded for a tour DVD. While the other boys turned their nervous energy into excitement, Akaashi took the opposite route.

You watched as he clenched his way as you continued comforting words, rubbing your thumb into his shoulders. “I’ll be right there too. I’ll either be backstage or in the front row Keiji. Right there taking pictures of you being you and living your dream with your best friends. If you get lost, I’ll be right there ok?”

Once you got a nod, your hand moved towards his hair, massaging his scalp. The two of you stayed like that for minutes, until you heard the man across from you take a deep breath. “Alright. I think I’m good now.”

“You sure?” your eyes searched his for a certainty that you didn’t find. He wasn’t 100%, but he knew it was nearing time and he had a job to do. He could only nod as he began to stand, taking your hand to help you up as well.

“I’m here for you always. You don’t have to take things on by yourself ok?” Akaashi nodded and found himself leaning in. You found yourself following suit your lips so close to touching for the first time.

“(Y/N), is Akaashi ok and is-” the two of you quickly pulled away, dropping your hands as Kuroo’s voice carried through the hallway. He merely wiggled his eyebrows at you before waving your camera at you. “It’s about time. Bo has your guitar.”

—

‘When I’m far away from where you are, it’s ok, cause we’re under the same stars I’m laying down this heavy load, maybe now I can finally let this go I can finally let you know’

You watch as the second verse has the two talking on the phone. A nighttime shot that really brings out the blue in his eyes as he looks up at the sky. Akaashi marvels at the night sky. It’s the first time in what feels like forever that he’d gotten to see a sky full of stars. It’s beautiful but he can’t help but feel a tug in his heart. Someone was missing and that person was you. It’s a little over a month post tour, and he hadn’t seen you but once.

In between you, working on smaller projects with other artists to you then going out of town, and him resting and writing, there just wasn’t time. He’d gone from seeing you pretty much every day for months straight to nothing and it felt weird. You were always a sucker for a good night sky, and he didn’t even notice the way his hand reached for his phone, and how he dialed your number without a second thought. “Hey.” he wasn’t even sure what he really wanted, but he couldn’t help the slightest smile at your enthusiastic greeting. Of course, you didn’t care that he didn’t really want anything.

“The sky’s really pretty,” he heard your questioning really and shuffling until you let out a whistle from the other end of the line.

“You’re right. It’s beautiful.”

The two of you settled into a comfortable silence reveling in the same sky despite being apart. That was until you both went to speak at the same time

“How’ve you been-” “Can I tell you something”

You felt yourself laugh as you insisted, he went first. “I was just curious about how you’ve been so you can talk.” Your words caused Akaashi’s heart to race a little. He’d already started so there was no going back now.

“I like you. Like like you. A lot.”

—-

That confession had been a month ago. You’d admitted to having feelings for him, however that’s as far as it got. The promise of a date fell victim to life and in fact due to both of your careers you hadn’t even gotten the chance to talk much again. Only spur of the moment texts, whenever either of you thought of the other but nothing else.

A part of you blames life, the other part knows it’s due to Akaashi. His fear of falling, despite the way it had been happening for the past two and a half years you’d worked with the band. So, the song, the video and the very ending of the song completely blindsided you. The ending lyrics were merely a scan of a Polaroid. It had been after the last show of their tour and Bokuto wanted you to pinky promise everyone that you’d be their tour photographer forever. This picture had him, Kuroo and Tsukkishima standing around you, adrenaline pumping and happy smiles. With you and Akaashi in the center as he was the last one you linked pinkies with. The picture only showed the back of your head, but you remember and cherished the memory. You didn’t even know the picture existed until now.

After the video ended you found yourself immediately dialing Akaashi’s number. He picked up on the first ring. “Hey-” your voice came out surprisingly breathless.

“Hey,” You could feel your heart beating faster as you were at a loss for words. Thankfully, Akaashi was the one to speak up first. “So, did you see the video?” You nodded before realizing he couldn’t hear you.

“Yeah, stupid text messages woke me up from my sleep to check it out,” you heard Akaashi’s chuckle over the phone. “You didn’t have to do that you know. A simple date would’ve sufficed.”

“I know, but I wanted to. Plus, when I told Bokuto about even the idea he forced me to go through with it. I was serious when I said I liked you.” You hummed in acknowledgement stating that it sounded like Bo and that you knew already.

“It just sucks because of life you know. We confessed over the phone for starters and then never even went on a date.”

“I guess it’s a good thing I’m outside your apartment then.” At that sentence you quickly hung up and rushed to your front door, not even minding the way you looked. Once you opened the door you were met with the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen and, bag whose contents smelled closely resembled your favorite cafe.

“Wait, hot long were you out here?” Your sentence never got answered as lips pressed immediately to yours. The first kiss of many.

a/n: i wrote this same night as my 1K+ osamu piece and im finishing it here at 4am and i have an interview tmw but i had this idea and i NEEDED to get it out at the sake of my sanity so yes im sry if this is me being delirious writing

#hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #akaashi x reader #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines #akaashi imagine

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adultswim2021 · 3 years

Text

Ephemera Week (2002)

I really wonder how effectively I’ll be able to do this in 2003. In 2003, Adult Swim started doing the black and white text bumps, where they give max sass and NO EFFS (fucks), so every week had unique content. I definitely don’t have the resources to catalogue every bumper or even come up with a decent “best of”. Ephemera Corner 2003 may look very different. To quote my good friend Zorak, “Brak, do you ever think about the future?”. To this I say, yes. Yes, Zorak, I do.

BROADCAST ANOMALIES AND SPECIAL NIGHTS!

Adult Swim Action (and other stuff) | February 23, 2002

February 23rd was the first installment of Adult Swim Action. Up to this point, Adult Swim aired a block of mostly comedy capped off with Cowyboy Bebop. This was the first formal separation of Action and Comedy. I remember the bitter rivalry between the two fandoms on various message boards I posted on. It really did seem like a venn diagram with almost no overlap; action fans hated the comedy shows (maybe they liked one or two but hated the rest) and the same went for the comedy fans, except most of the comedy fans I knew were devout anime haters.

At the height of my anime animosity an internet ex-friend of mine started a message board called ANIME SUCKS. It was an experience I’ll always remember fondly. At it’s peak it had over 1000 members. All but about a dozen of those members were actually ANGRY anime fans who just stumbled on the board and were FURIOUS at us for being anti-anime, and we’d just act like obtuse dickheads about it. Like, we’d act stupider than they were and just wind them up.

We developed a few tricks to really set somebody off. For example: they’d write an impassioned defense of anime as an art form, and say something like “it’s not all like Pokemon or Dragonball Z”, to which we’d reply “actually those are the only two animes I like”. This really got them. There was a special thrill to just replying “miyazaki is an idiot” to a guy’s 6-paragraph essay about why anime was “good, actually”, prompting an even longer response. It was really fun! We didn’t have to harass people online, they’d just come to us to get abused. I’ve never seen bait get taken so effortlessly. One day that guy just closed the message board, locked everyone out, and disappeared forever.

That was some aside, huh? Anyway, the arrival of Adult Swim Action meant that Adult Swim stopped airing the Thursday night repeats of Adult Swim Comedy, which was a shame. It Also meant Adult Swim’s Sunday night had an extra hour to fill, which they did with Rocky & Bullwinkle and the Popeye Show. People complained. I didn’t. Vintage animation is just a different take on the “adult” label. Besides, I was used to tuning out by 12AM anyway, so even if I didn’t like those shows (I did!) I wasn’t missing anything, really. But yes, if it were a full hour of Space Ghost repeats I guess that would’ve been better.

The Lewis Lectures | May 19, 2002 - 12:45 AM

A repeat of Lewis Lectures? IT HAPPENED! But what was so different about this broadcast of Lewis Lectures? Well, they accidentally scrambled the SAP audio with the default English audio, causing the Spanish soundtrack to play in tandem with the English one. It was bloody well fucked mate. This is simply no longer England.

I remember becoming an Adult Swim completist and taping this, considering it some kind of void in my collection. Part of me wishes I saved the recording, so I could combine it with the inferior YouTube rip currently up and have a closer-to-pristine copy than the one that’s available. But also, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS IS LEWIS LECTURES WE ARE TALKING ABOUT. How much pain can I inflict on myself?

Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law Mini-Marathon | September 15, 2002 - 11:00 PM

On this night they aired a little Harvey Birdman marathon of the 4 episodes. This was kinda baffling, as Birdman had 6 episodes to its name and they’d been repeated into the ground by this point. I guess it goes to show that Adult Swim kinda considered Birdman to be their prestige program. I’m hard-pressed to call any one Adult Swim show “smart” in a way that’s apparent on a shallow level. Birdman is set in a courtroom, animated the most competently out of all their other shows, and involved cultural references in a showy way. Like, Space Ghost having Dave Willis absurdly shout “UP THE CHAIN” in the background of a Space Ghost episode is almost just a weird easter egg. But Birdman? Birdman was name-dropping Hanna Barbera characters the same way Frasier would talk about whatever gay shit Frasier talked about.

They aired The Dabba Don, Shaggy Busted, Shoyu Weenie, Very Personal Injury in that order. I would’ve swapped Shaggy and Shoyu and for Bannon Custody Battle and Death by Chocolate, but that’s just me, I guess.

vimeo

Adult Swim New Years Bash hosted by Carl and Brak | December 31, 2002 - 11:00 PM

Adult Swim officially ended 2002 with this: a night hosted by Carl and Brak in Times Square, watching the ball drop (which was FREAKING MEATWAD!!!!). I remember this night fondly. Unfortunately I can’t find the whole thing, but here’s a single segment I found on vimeo to give you some idea. I think I had it up at one point and Turner very annoyingly had it taken down.

I used to have this massive physical media collection; stuff on VHS and DVD and DVD-R that was meticulously catalogued. I ditched a lot of it in favor of digitizing stuff like this, eternally keeping it on hard drives that I meant to back up but never did. It seems more convenient, but it isn’t. If this were 2003 and I needed to show you this, I would be able to retrieve it from one of my many shelves. I might still have this, but would have no idea where to look for it and it would probably involve me getting in my car and going out to my storage unit and pulling every single box out. I turned it into ones an zeros and stuck it on a nondescript black box that could very well be dead. And now it’s not even on YouTube. Sad? Sure, it’s sad.

PEAK EPHEMERA

(phrase stolen from Grifthorse podcast)

Hey, here are some videos I found on YouTube in case you wanna go down a wormhole of watching old Adult Swim commercial breaks. May the gods of posterity keep them online forever:

February 4, 2002

Spring 2002

June 16, 2002

June 30, 2002

July 27, 2002

August 2002

November 17, 2002

November/December 2002

MAIL BAG:

This ends EPHEMERA WEEK. We’ll do actual episodes soon!

What's the scariest thing you seen on adult swim?

I don’t know if I have a real answer for this. I don’t think I actually get scared by stuff in movies or TV shows. I can’t even come up with a funny answer. Remember the end of that Metalocalypse episode where the little sick girl is dead and her eyes turn into maggots and you hear that screechy voice was like I’M DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!!! I’ll just go with that even though it made me laugh really hard

Ever watch Limmy's Show

I am content just being vaguely aware of Limmy (no, I never watched his show. Seems good).

Please don't do such a big mailbag. I couldn't believe how many r-words wrote inane bullshit to you. Let keep this blog about the real stars: Master Shake, Space Ghost, Brak, Zorak, Meatwad, Frylock, Debbie, Black Debbie, Carl, Sparks, Stormy, Hesh, Moltar, Harvery Birdman Captain Murphy, Dr. Quinn, Paula, Marco, Brendon, Jason, Melissa, The Mooninites, the Plutonians, Peanut, Coach Mc Gurk, Mentok the Mindtaker, Virjay, Antoin, Colby, Trotter, Adair WE ARE THE UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE :)

I can’t believe this IDIOT doesn’t get that by typing such a long message he very IDIOTICALLY contributed to the length of the Maili Bag... LMFAO, what a IDIOT

This is maybe the funniest blog on tumblr. You really think these nasty little cartoons are special, huh?

Hey than-- oh :( Yeah, I guess so :(

would you like master shake if he did the whole thing

I’m sorry what

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #ephemera

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szopenhauer · 4 years

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What’s the last NON-SURVEY RELATED thing you typed? I’ve been texting my gf and my dad

Are you currently in a complicated situation with someone? I am

When was the last time you were really grossed out? today?

What was the last thing to make you laugh? this song

Was the last hoodie you wore too big for you? that’s how I like them

Is your pet currently being annoying? my dog is very rarely annoying if at all, usually it’s not his fault anyway

Do you know someone who has 5 or more siblings? my grandma had many siblings but it was normal for her times

Do you prefer movies at home or movies at the theatre? home

When’s the last time you had a rock, paper, scissors match? long time ago

What would your name be if you were a boy? hopefully Nataniel (or Sam if it was english name)

The forever on-going question: Is Twilight stupid or actually brilliant? dumb af

Finish the sentence: Remember, remember… I’m bad at dates but I know what it’s from

Did you understand Shakespeare? I didn’t enjoy Shakespeare, I think he’s not that clever - instead of rhyming he was creating his own words, cool thing to invent your own words but why rhyming then if you really can’t without that?

Can you differentiate between the words “your” and “you’re?" I can

Do you use hair ties as bracelets? at times

When did you learn the ninja turtles were named after Renaissance artists? it was obvious

Would you tell your co-workers what underwear you have on? why would they want to know?

How far do you live from your parents? I live with them

Are you happy with how much money you make? I don’t make my own money

Do you believe in staying “healthy”? I tried and ended up worse than those who didn’t :(

Do you answer your phone on the first ring? never

Do you sleep with the curtains or blinds on your window open? hell no

Would you stay at a haunted hotel? don’t wanna bother ghosts nor tempt my fate

Have you ever gotten pizza delivered to your house that you didn’t order? that happened to my dad at work once

What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever encountered while at a hotel? nothing luckily

(Insert random song lyric of your choice here): But our love, was a song, sung by a dying swan

Can one person really make a difference? one stinky man in a bus makes everyone sick so think about it

Ring the bell for service or wait patiently for a minute first? wait

Do you honestly know how to play Monopoly or just make up rules as you go? we make up rules as we go playing Scrabble to make my mom happy lmfao

Be honest… ever peed in the pool? once

Have you ever fallen off of a treadmill while walking/running? was I ever on a treadmill?...

Do you drink milk/juice right from the bottle/carton, or pour yourself a glass? pour!

Do you hide when Jehovah’s Witnesses knock on your door? I pretend I’m not home

If you farted in front of your significant other, would he/she care? omg

Must you grab a souvenir from almost everywhere you go? ... yes

Have you ever walked out on a movie at the theater? Which one? nope

Did you enjoy making things out of Play-Doh as a child? I loved the smell

Are you currently sleepy? not really

Was the last movie you watched a horror film? nooo

Do you own a lot of tee shirts? shitload

Do you handle pain well? compared to people I know - very

Have you ever been so nervous you threw up? I would throw up all the time then, glad I don’t do that outta being nervous, phew

Do you have a leather jacket? fake

Do you think hugs are awkward? often

Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you? could say so

If you’re reading a book, what page are you currently on? I'm not

you’re getting ready to go to bed and the last person that you kissed shows up, what do you say? woah in the middle of the night? why?! what happened? :o What does the last text say? no ja wiem

What do you think the last person that you kissed is doing right now? she’s doing survey that I made and sent her Was your last text message from a girl or boy? gal How’s your day been? ugh... What were you doing at eight this morning? slept Are you afraid of shots? no When was the last time that someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug? yesterday Would you rather write in pen or pencil? pen Could you date someone who can’t make you laugh? if they laughed at my jokes Are you wearing your favorite color right now? I don’t Describe how you feel right now in one word? anxious What are you listening to? Fever Ray are you ready for kids right now? I'll never be Were you an adorable baby? pfft

Do you prefer water or land? land Would you consider yourself to be mature? at times only At your workplace, are you required to wear a uniform? used to Is sarcasm like a second language to you? maybe Have you ever witnessed a physical fight in real life? nothing like in an action movie tho What do you think of people who get drunk every weekend? disgusting, stupid, I hate them Do you require a lot of private time? I do Do you use a lot of hair products? shampoo only Does it bother you when people copy your actions? especially when they laughed at me for that first and then been complimented

When was the last time you had a nightmare? tonight

Have you ever made up a secret language? I made up a language to my book that you can truly use

Were you born before 1992? I was born exactly in 92

If you got married now, how old would you be by your 50th wedding anniversary? dead 78

What did you do last New Year’s Eve? spent time with my parents as usual, I like it that way

Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medications for it? I do and I was taking meds that fucked me up even more >.< What was the last thing someone said to you that you kept repeating over & over in your head? I’m still wondering what my gf didn’t want to tell me last evening but not only just that

If you could, would you work from home? I’d love to <3 What were you like in middle school? I had some phases because I finally stopped wanting to fit in Which do you think is harder: realizing you haven’t changed, or realizing you have? if changed for worse then it’s obviously harder Have you ever won some sort of prize or prize package from a contest? What did you win? more than one thing/contest Most disturbing movie you have ever seen? horrors, Gummo, Pentameron?... What one thing has always bothered you, but seems to bother no one else? smells and sounds for example Do you still own VHS tapes? we do

Do you feed your leftovers to your dogs? some

How often do you use Facebook? everyday What is the fanciest restaurant you have been to? those were wedding parties took place? What is the worst damage that your car has seen? I don’t have a car When was the last time you got a new ringtone? recently Have you ever peed yourself from laughing? luckily not

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