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#it's been a strange last few months
notagoodlad · 4 months
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a walk in the sunshine to cure my seasonal depression
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lemon-wedges · 5 months
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My 2023 art summary
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ireallydolikeyou2 · 12 days
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if u ppl don't start listening to me + also realize that I'm not at alll whoeverr it is that you think i am/ might be ... i stg i'm going to delete ...
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sen-ya · 3 months
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I just threw a ton of my one piece draws in my queue to post 3x a day and it’s gonna take like all of March to run out lmfao
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posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh
#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself#but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep#and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either#i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in#fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst#i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago#but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it#this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed#i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me#i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time#this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake#gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t#like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it!#i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life#when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so#i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have#but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip#and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude#though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i#it’s been gnawing at me#ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in#one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes#watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep#so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom#idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting#they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao#so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most#i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry#also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn#it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes
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a-dream-deferred · 16 days
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a professor of mine is giving a seminar about...the use of AI to generate multiple choice questions 😀
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growingwithem · 1 year
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Eunhyuk donate 40,04 million won to support children and adolescents taking care of sick family member at an age when they need to be taken care of ❤️‍🩹
On April 4, the Green Umbrella Children's Foundation said "On Eunhyuk's birthday, the Super Junior member donated 40,040,000 won to support children and adolescents who care for relatives (children and adolescents who care for relatives or relatives who have difficulties such as disabilities, illnesses and mental illness).
The donation delivered by Eunhyuk is the amount raised by adding the proceeds from Eunhyuk's fan meeting held on March 30th & Eunhyuk's personal expenses. Eunhyuk said, "Since I was a child, seeing my father working at a child welfare center, I wanted to become a person who can help children when I grow up."
Choi Woon-jung, director of the Green Umbrella Children's Foundation's Seoul Regional Headquarters 2, said “I am grateful to Eunhyuk for taking an interest in children and adolescents taking care of their families, a blind spot in child welfare, and spreading a good influence."
Eunhyuk continues to do good deeds since 2021, such as donations to support children's housin.
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cextra-loz · 1 year
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Today I was able to stand for a new limit of 50 minutes when my physical symptoms are at their most minimal in a controlled environment. So we know 50 is the max now we're trying to reach 1 hour. I feel like I could've reached an hour with how I was feeling but the muscle endurance in my legs wouldn't have let me. I'm reaching a weird stage in my progress where its been so long since my body has had to support my weight for that long the blood pooling in my soles irritates and hurts like hell the days afterwards so now i'm rubbing the my feet like i've worked a hard day to prevent the inflammation from impeding my progress. I feel tho if I can reach that 1 hour limit I can reach longer times with practice. Its been years since i've stood for so long i'm really excited to keep practicing and hopefully keep improving. Last year around this time I was barely reaching 35 maybe 40 if I really really pushed- during my least symptomatic hours. Those extra 10 minutes might not mean much but since the beginning of my illness I never imagined i'd be able to make it to 30 let alone 50. I felt pretty good this session too which is the most important part, I feel like its the lack of muscular stamina that held me back rather than cardiac endurance. Anyway update is over, if I reach that 1 hour time it'll be a happy day I cannot tell how long it'll take me to reach that time but with some more practice I think a few weeks or months at least i'd imagine maybe even sooner. I'm so happy lets go! Dreams do come true at least 4 me ehehe!
#pots#dysautonomia#progress#the best thing about longer uptime means more endurance - the longer i'm able to stay up the more my legs should begin to adapt#if I can push the amount of time when i'm not as symptomatic maybe it'll help increase my endurance when i'm most symptomatic#when i'm at my most symptomatic I cannot stand for the life of me more than a minute#i will collapse#but increasing my minimal symptomatic time to higher numbers means I feel less physical pain and exhaustion when I am at my most#symptomatic which is honestly all i want#if I can withstand the exhaustion of when i'm most physically ill for more than a minute or two at a time then I can endure it#when i'm compeltely still and laying down which is rlly hard and it hurts like hell and i'm exhausted when it happens#theres nothing in this world like trying to catch your breath while your body is writhing in pain and youre trying not to pass out#i'm just glad on a good day and lots of monitoring i can manage a few hours without any of those#when it was happening once an hour for like hours at a time for months i was in literal hell#the scariest bit is i'm forgetting how it felt to be like normal-ish#like there were days where the most I worried about was like regular stuff like homework#now i'm worried about things like making sure i have a glass of water with me or else i'll die#which sounds absurd but its now my reality its strange how that just becomes real#ive been typing for so long but i don't feel fatigued it really shows how far ive gotten these last few years#last time i wrote this much on a tumblr text post about my illness i was trying to catch my breath the entire time#im kinda happy#ehehe!
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transphilza · 2 years
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tis missin techno hours it seems
#cw grief#vent in tags#man i started watching breakin bad for the first time recently w my gf and like great show#but boy was i not prepared for all the cancer stuff. we had to stop watching one night because of how hard it was for me to watch#its just so hard to think about him going through that. like obviously#thats why the dedication by the sfa still hurts to even think about#and thinking about it all it makes sense to me why he never told us how bad it really was#i was. already so so worried about him all the time especially those last few months#even though he never gave us any reason to believe it was getting worse or anythin like that#so i cant imagine how badly id have been worrying if id known the extent of it all back then#and im grateful in a way for it. cause it gave me the chance during that last year we had him to really just love and appreciate#i just watched and rewatched vods and videos and i was so happy and so grateful to have him around.. im still grateful. cause hes not gone#i think he wanted it to be like that? i think he didnt want anyone mourning him before he left#dunno im just missing him and thinking of him as i often do. its just one of those Its All Painfully Real Lol moments#i sometimes have legitimate fleeting thoughts where im like. so. im gonna wake up tomorrow and someones gonna have created a cure for death#and hes gonna be back right. or like. for half a second my brain goes Cool so when does he come back?#its real strange#i think about his friends and family alot i find myself wondering if it hurts so bad for me then how are they even getting by?#but grief is always grief and grieving people are grieving people so maybe we arent as different as i think#yknow#whenever theres a meetup or something like that theres always this awful ache. this ringing in my ears#and it says. like. christ this is hard to type out.#it says ‘techno never got to do this’… or ‘sbi never got to do this’…#and its not a sentiment of jealousy or anger or even envy…. just grief#it’s just pure pure grief it’s just loss and it makes the whole world feel hollow#but i suppose that’s just the world without him.? everything echoes louder than it should#it seriously makes me feel sick when i think about that. augh. last hope we all had for an sbi meetup at vidcon#and how phil said they asked but techno. said he wouldnt make it that long basically. i think about that too much#i wont ever remember that vidcon as anything but the last few days of bliss before we found out#gonna rewatch some of his videos and sleep now. hearing his voice always makes me smile ❤️ goodnight
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saltyverse · 9 months
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How's your creeper interract with the other heroes? Do they like having him around?
tis but a little guy. batman just sort of. lets him roam around. he doesnt hurt anyone and he isnt apart of the rogues gallery and what have you, so he just . gets to hang out. he pops up here and there at crime scenes rlly to just be apart of the peanut gallery and watch.
Now its the Villains who he has the most interactions with. unfortunately. you see, the rogues gallery finds him entertaining and most of them Love to mess with the guy. they cant rlly fuck with him like they can when hes jack ryder, since creeper is a very slippery guy, so no kidnappings (sad). doesnt mean the rogues dont try rho. creeper also doesnt. try to stop the rogues like crimes when hes watching mainly bc. even tho hes a slippery dude, shmoving all over the place. he isnt That strong of a guy. he'd get beat up Very quick (he knows this from experience)
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deathbars · 2 years
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Oh yeah also my sick fish died i did everything I really could but i found him after work i honestly idek i feel awful just having one loach by himself bc they're really social fish but i can't risk bringing another sick fish into my tank (dojos are wild caught unfortunately too so I can't exactly support that either anymore) I just have to cherish the rest ive got I hope he doesn't get fish depression :(
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ikyw-t · 2 years
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oh and also for the halloween party ive decided i want to have a theme: haunted mansion! so im gonna try to make my house look like a fancy haunted mansion lol mostly i just like having a general aim for the vibes im going for. im rly excited tho i think it's gonna be really cool!! also ik it's not even september lol but what can i say, inspiration has struck haha
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#so for the last like. as long as i can remember. ive had a shit sleep schedule#mostly like sleep all day and stay up all night kinda shit#but i got sick/burnt out recently and slept for almost two days straight#and somehow it reset my sleep schedule to something normal#like i went to bed at 10pm and woke up at 5am for the last few days#and i havent had to nap#and the not needing to nap is really fucking with me#like im used to waking up. feeding my dog. and then napping until i go to work#i should be napping rn. but im not tired#i dont have to get ready for work for another four hours and ive already been awake for three hours#i went to the coffee shop and to walgreens. im in real clothes instead of pajamas. i did a load of laundry#im laying in bed (its so hot i might be dying) and i just. dont know what to do with my time#im probably gonna do some cleaning and packing because im moving in two months#idk im just feeling some strange type of way because for the last few days ive been. alive#instead of sleeping my life away#its so strange. i got sick. slept for a few days. and now my biggest problem is just fixed? and i can have a life now?#its 70 degrees today and the world is my oyster. what should i do?#i have a list of chores im gonna do. i might walk to the coinstar machine so ill have money#yeah i want to do that cuz im in the negatives in my bank account but i want to get a cool drink before work today#my dad texted me this morning 'noticed your bank account is overdrawn for the second time this week. whats going on kid?'#which is such a sad text to get because i know im broke. thanks dad. lets pls ignore my financial hardships#if you want to make my dad less sad hmu for my venmo /hj#anyways ill probs do that today. get some cash so i can get a frozen lemonade from wawa or something#yknow that post thats like 'seasonal depression seems fake until its 50 degrees in march and it feels like you took a party drug'#i think thats partially whats happening here. its 70 degrees and sunny and my systems dont know what to do with that#i hope youre all having a great day that you dont sleep through. i love you!!
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gazingatmydoom · 4 months
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opening a fromsoft game and immediately seeing the words "at the end of the previous session. exit game (system menu) may not have been selected.
failure to end session with exit game may result in loss of progress" and i'm like ahhh so i rage quit. it's like a warning sign popping up like hey buddy whatever u were doing last time? it fucking sucked and u got mad be prepared
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sonicboomseason3 · 28 days
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a brief recap of what has been going on with the sonic movieverse in the past several months:
paramount has come out in public support of israel
keanu reeves, a man who has publicly rubbed elbows with none other than benjamin netanyahu, reportedly gets cast as shadow for the upcoming third movie
james marsden, the guy who plays tom, got exposed as having written a letter of support for a convicted pedophile
there's fucking??? zionist propaganda in the knuckles series???
kind of connected to the last point but adam pally, the guy who plays wade, is evidently pro-israel too
this is a complete and utter joke.
EDIT AS OF 4/30/24: if people see this version of the post, i'd really appreciate it if you reblog it instead of the other versions, as it's the most updated one with all the information that i want included. thank you :]
you know, it's been a few days since i've made this post, and some of you (not most) are staying determined in defending/justifying/giving the benefit of the doubt to keanu for that photo with netanyahu, whether it's because "it was a decade ago," "him being civil to someone he ran into at a party one time doesn't mean anything," "he's probably just silent because his pr managers won't allow him to speak up," etc. i've made my thoughts on the matter quite clear by directly responding to these people, but at this point, i'm tired of both seeing them in my notes and repeating myself, so take this as my final word on the issue.
i can't help it if you don't think the photo with netanyahu is damning, and i'm done engaging with everyone going out of their way to tell me that. i obviously disagree, especially after finding out that 1. the host of the party, arnon milchan, is a former israeli spy who has a history of developing israel's nuclear program and promoting apartheid in south africa (information that had broken out a few months prior to the party and thus would've been fresh news around the time keanu chose to attend) and 2. keanu has been caught hanging around at least two other weirdos, but if you don't find any of that to be cause for reasonable concern, then there really is nothing else i can say afaik.
with all that said, i'm beginning to realize how strange it is that these people's first instinct when seeing this post is to start debating about keanu's political stances without ever acknowledging any of the other bullet points. you guys realize that this isn't just about him, right? i know tumblr reading comprehension is known for being piss-poor, but like… you realize that i was trying to make a point of how there are MULTIPLE terrible things that have broken out about the people and company involved in the sonic movies, right? and yet, a lot of the people leaping to speak on keanu's behalf in my notes are completely ignoring the parts where i bring up paramount, pally, etc. all in favor of zeroing in on the singular point about keanu and making bad faith assumptions about me for holding him accountable. really makes one wonder where your priorities lie if, in a post that talks about so many other things, me accusing an a-list celebrity with, according to google, a net worth of almost $400 million is where you draw the line and apparently the only thing worth your acknowledgment.
ultimately, what i'm trying to say is that the intention of this post was just to gather up everything that i had been hearing for the past several months and put it all together in one place. there were a bunch of people who didn't know about at least one of the bullet points before seeing this post, and i'm glad that i could help inform them, that was what i was hoping to do! but as for the keanu thing, i've said pretty much all i can say for now, and i don't want to derail the original post even more than i may have already. unless something new comes up, i'm done talking about him.
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thekitsunesiren · 3 months
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Dc x Dp #46
"I'm transferring you all to another branch to focus on your teamwork." Batman announced to the Young Justice League out of nowhere.
The news surprised the whole group. They've been together for quite sometime and had gotten alone just fine. Sure, they had disagreements here and there, but that wasn't enough for them to need more training, was it?
"We've been officially working together for a long time. Why do we need teamwork training now?" Robin asked, being brave enough to talk to the well feared vigilante that many were fearful to speak against.
Batman said nothing as he scrolled through the tablet in hand, obviously searching for something.
"Because you still have problems with your teamwork. You need the help of another team your age to get a better view point of what you're doing wrong. And hopefully you'll be able to learn about the different type of enemies
"Wait, wait, wait! Our age? You mean there's another team that we didn't know about?" Kid Flash asked, the news obviously being a surprise to him.
This news was a surprise to everyone in the group. All of them thought that they were the only young heroes that worked under the Justice League.
Finding what he was looking for, Batman opened a file and the team looked at the large photo that appeared on the screen. The photo contained four teens, just around their age if not older or younger.
One was a black teen with a red beanie, and Robin was surprised to see the bulky tech in his hands that he was using. What kind of outdated tech was this team using?
Next to him was a goth looking girl with raven black hair wearing a black short with a black and green plaid skirt. Her face was concentrated into a stern glare that gave Wally the shivers. The gun that she held in her hand didn't help either.
There was another girl as well. Her black hair down and resting against her shoulders. Said shoulders and the rest of her body covered by a black and red suit with a hoverboard against her feet and another strange weapon in her hand. A gun maybe? Red Arrow was curious to see her aim when moving on that board.
And the last kid wasn't standing. He was floating. With snow white hair and green eyes that seemed to glow everytime they looked at the photo. He looked to be around the same age as the other three, but he wore a black jumpsuit with white boots, gloves, and belt. On his belt rested a thermos? Superboy didn't see how such a scrawny thing could be of any threat.
One thing was similar was that how all of the humans eyes seemed to glow. Almost as bright as the- metas'? Aliens? -did.
"These are the members of Young Justice: Dark. They have been under the Leagues employment for three months, but they've been working on their own for almost two years and managed to stop several world ending disasters dealing with the supernatural."
The statement from Batman shocked the team. Them? On their own for two years fighting against the supernatural? Surely he was joking?!
"But-how? We've never heard of them, and they were world ending, we should've known about it." Robin argued.
"Because they've never left the threats leave their town." Came Batmans clipped reply. "There have been a few close calls, but all of them have been handled. As for why the League wasn't aware, there was interference that stopped the League from knowing about Amity Park. This is the team that took our place."
This was the team? Two years unsupervised against supernatural threats that they didn't know about and they still remained uncovered? Just how strong was this team?
"I'm assigning your next mission to work under them. For the time being they will be your superiors and you will follow their instructions if you come into contact with any enemy. Do not go against their orders or else it will be dire. With this, you will learn about threats stronger than you have faced and better yourselves as a team. Do not mess this up."
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