#it's me I'm regulus kinnies

[apricusapollo]

I remember so vividly when taylor released anti-hero and regulus kinnies were fighting for their lives fr

[adharastarlight]

james, heading into the prefects bathrooms after his morning run: regulus? i didn't know you woke up early

reg, heading out of said bathrooms after getting ready for bed: ...haha, yeah

james: are those your pyjamas???

reg: bye!

[urfavsherlockholmeskinnie]

james in Crimson Rivers is actually so relatable

like I would also immediatly fall in love with regulus if he'd ever thrown a snowball in my face because he wanted me to pay attention to him

like don't worry reg you have all my attention can we kiss now?

[tadaxii-i]

I see so much autistic Regulus in ffs but it's always used as a quirky character trait and never really as a disorder with actual consequences. Yes to stimming, but also yes to meltdowns. Yes to apathy, but also yes to sensory hypersensitivity. Yes to special interests, but also yes to crying at every single inconvenience. Yes to rambling, but also yes to processing issues. Yes to difficult communication, but also yes to constant and uninterrupted speaking to himself when he's alone. Yes to saying he's autistic, but also yes to showing it.

[pessimisticgh0st]

I'm so fucking awkward. Like I literally can't have a basic conversation with people my age. And I complain about it but when people talk to me I literally just shut down and self isolate so often so it must be horrible trying to talk to me. People must get so pissed off

[strv-xo]

some days i feel like i will never be loved and other days im delusional and i think everyone is obsessed with me

[yukittion]

Here's a question for Regulus kinnies:

How are you doing with the fact that you don't have to pretend you don't care about the shitie things in your life ???? Still faking indifference so people don't know how much it actally affects you??? Cool!

[cherryravens]

i literally cry with every update of crimson rivers lately oh my fucking god

[luna13e-blog]

Okay I'm falling HARD for Anti-hero:

WHEN MY DEPRESSION WORKS THE GRAVEYARD SHIFT ALL OF THE PEOPLE I'VE GOSTHED STAND THERE IN THE ROOM.

I'm dead.

[starchasersunseeker]

Since there's so many James kinnies looking for their Regulus, and so many Regulus kinnies {me} looking for their James... how about we stay true to jeggy and the James's take the first step in reaching out to us? And we can play the dance of 'will they wont they' and eventually end up together?

Just a suggestion...

Like come on I want triple dates with @beautyoftheships and @my-castles-crumbling since both of them are already married sigh {it's unfair I'm the only one without my James...}

[my-castles-crumbling]

"Yeah, I mean, I'm no expert, but I think Regulus might do that." -Me, a hardcore Regulus kinnie

[apricusapollo]

yesterday my dad told me I should talk some sense into my sister because I'm more mature and I just stood there like 🧍‍♀️

[lienspien]

Andi. He/they. 18. Cismale. Omnisexual. June 16. Gemini sun, Pisces moon, Gemini rising. Ravenclaw. Indonesian. Mostly talk abt Marauders. Sirius Black & Evan Rosier kinnie. Multishipper. History enthusiast. Loves all things abt geography. I like a lot of things ig.

Side blog: @treintar @therewasnofloorbtw

Div from @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

—☆—

U can interact with me, idc ill fight you if ur weird. I support Palestine.

More abt me ::::

(pls jst dm me so we can be friends and get married)

Stuff I'm interested in: Marauders, Ever after high, Demon slayer, Honkai Star Rail, Harry Potter, Haikyuu, a few manhwas, Gilmore girls, a few animes, world building, countryhumans, cultures of countries, history, and et cetera (pls talk to me abt whatever i would probably know or like it)

Marauders ships: wolfstar, rosechaser, starchaser, prongsfoot, bitchkiller, rosekiller, moonwater, sunkiller, quillkiller, bartylus, xenodora, pandalily, jily, marylily, marylene, dorlene, dorlily, lucissa, peter x benjy, alice x narcissa, narcissa x lily, andromeda x tonks, dorcas x peter, dorcas x james, mary x emmeline, barty x mary, emmeline x marlene, pandora x regulus, pandora x barty, remus x james, peter x james, peter x barty, and et cetera. (Guys I like all ships as long as its not problematic or poly)

General likes: hot chocolate, chocolate cake, French fries, sunflowers, novels, YouTube videos, a bunch of foreshadowing, reading socmed aus, playing sports, playing games, cooking, and et cetera. (I like to do whatever I want actually)

People ik and love

@addsalwayssick @novathevamp @saturnsconstellation @moonssong @this-is-me-lolol @dandelionflowery @cheekyboybeth @marylily-my-beloved @idk-what-to-put-here-123 @moonyswarmsweaters @koezii @kaerayhn @aesthetic-writer18 @andyxcds @sleepinginmygrave @purple-phesh-and-cheps @permetutotheworld et cetera (ill tag u in a bit baby girl)

[bl0ssomized]

I need marauders moots pretty please I need people to talk to please pl

Hiii I'm Bee, go by Mika too, she/her, 18 y/o Ravenclaw uhhhh I lauv the marauders (and co) I will not stop yapping about them. I'm okay with most ships honestly but rosekiller got a special place in my heart ♡ little bit of a Remus kinnie, sometimes Regulus too. perpetually sleep deprived. uhm I don't have much more to say about me lol

also interested in pokemon and various rhythm games including enstars hypmic and twst. I also read a lot of book, usually YA fantasy so I'm up for book talk too :))

I really don't have much to say I just wish to meet more marauders fans is that too much to ask for...

I also need to revamp my blog.

[im-jesus]

Who would have known that Jesus Christ is a marauders fan? Woah?

Who do you kin-

Regulus. Oh my god, I'm a Reggie kinnie, which is very upsetting when my friend goes on rants about him being a fascist.

The idea that he was created to be a spare (I was created in violence in a last ditch attempt to save a marriage), and was kept away from the only people who could save him from his fate (I literally have no friends that aren't through a screen and before 18 I had none whatsoever), and he fucking died to do the right thing (self sacrificial people pleaser gang wya). It will never stop hurting my soul that he was not loved the way every child should be: unconditionally and without inhibition. I see myself in him, and it kills me.

Also, I don't know how to swim.

[rweoutofthewoods]

hi! so while reading october will cure me (loving it btw!), i realized that i really relate to regulus a lot. i mean, in general i am a regulus kinnie, but this hit really close to home. as far as i’m aware, i don’t have bpd, so i was just wondering if you could like explain some stuff for me. could you kinda go more in depth about how regulus says he gets like triggered by something and then he spirals? i feel like something similar happens to me, so i was just hoping you could answer. also, does every person with bpd obsess over someone like reg does with james? sorry if this comes off as rude, i’m not trying to be one of those people who just sees a disorder on the internet and assumes they have it. i love you fics sm <3

Hi! don't apologize, you're going the correct route by seeking more information. I would never encourage anyone to self-diagnose BPD just because it can be difficult to diagnose, but it's often misdiagnosed as other disorders, so having information and facts might help you if you ever want to go to a professional with your concerns. I'm going to try and paint an extremely harsh and realistic picture of what day-to-day life is like as someone with BPD.

Please heed this warning if you or anyone else doesn't want to read something triggering or alarming. I feel the need to lay it out in completely ugly terms so anyone who wonders knows exactly what it's like. You can decide if you feel this disorder is something that matches you. So please buckle up and I'm sorry if this is long and a lot. This is going to be really personal and vulnerable, so no judging!!

There are 9 symptoms of BPD and you need to have at least 5 of them to be diagnosed. Here's a link to the DSM-5 criteria. I also follow creators with BPD on tiktok that I think do a really good job of hitting the nail on the head if you want me to share some resources and information.

Now in regards to the things that are present in the fic: one of the things that BPD is often misdiagnosed as is bipolar, which has similar extreme shifts from high to low, however with BPD these shifts could happen in a matter of minutes or hours. AND they're related to some outside trigger, USUALLY (I'm not speaking professionally, just as someone with the disorder, so keep that in mind. I've learned a lot about it, but I have no formal education.) in my own experience I'm triggered by other people, relationships, and especially feeling like anyone has a bad perception of me and failure, especially academically. One of my episodes Idistinctly remember reacting the most severely, was triggered by the fact that a professor THOUGHT I was cheating when I wasn't. The idea that someone in a respected position thought badly of me was debilitating.

As for the obsession with a person like Reg has with James, one of the key things in BPD is a favorite person (FP): someone who you're obsessed with, whose opinion, tone, moods, and reactions has the power to trigger you or make or break your day. And this is to AN EXTREME. The thing with mental disorders is they're usually things most people experience but to an extreme, which is why a lot of people online may convince themselves they have something they don't, because we all experience these feelings sometimes. But to be very brash and honest (TW// for suicidal ideation) I mean it's EXTREME extreme. Like, I have almost killed myself over an ex-FP ignoring me. While it'd be upsetting to anyone to be ignored by someone they care about, I mean I was this close because someone wouldn't text me back and I felt unwanted and unworthy. Then boom, an hour later they text back and it was like oh... that was stupid, and suddenly the feeling is completely gone. THAT is what it's really like to have BPD.

Everything is very black and white. Splitting is when you go from idealizing everything a person does to despising them. You can even permanently split on someone, so if a FP does something completely unforgivable in your eyes, you can hate them for the rest of your life. On the plus side, that's one way to end a relationship with a FP and being freed from that burden is such a relief because like wow, you will never give a fuck about them again and they have no power over you anymore.

And it's not just your FP but I get obsessed with a lot of people, even those I don't know. In almost every room I unconsciously pick out at least one person I'm very aware of and wish to emulate, who seems like what I want to be. This was esp pertinent in college when I would have classmates I saw every week. in me, the BPD comes out as being a huge trend follower.

BPD is one of those things that when you're isolated, you might not even experience many symptoms since it's so driven by the people around you. A lot of people find their symptoms are 1000x worse when they're in a relationship. You might feel completely normal when you're isolated. For me, coming out of COVID and starting school in person again I completely changed myself to fit the people around me I became fixated on. I've spent absurd amounts of money I didn't have to become them. I didn't and don't have any real sense of self, and I didn't know who I was outside of picking up pieces of the people around me. I absorbed the interests and personality of my FP and anyone else who caught my fancy. It's not just little things like trends, but extreme impulsivity and reckless behavior.

When it comes to a FP, you'd do anything to make them stay and gain their approval. In no uncertain terms, I have been a terrible person and done terrible things, pathologically lied and hidden things to please other people and FPs. There's nothing romantic or comfortable about it, and I've had to work extremely hard since the beginning of 2024 to seriously evaluate myself and the kind of person I am and change those reactions and things about myself. People who've been around long enough have probably seen me publicly break down on the internet. it's not pretty or comfortable to see. I've reacted incredibly impulsively and dramatically in real life and online... at the beginning of the year took down every single fic I had because (this is the episode that started with the cheating allegations) I just completely spiraled and one little thing became me hating every single thing about myself and my life and convincing myself I didn't deserve to be here and my work was too terrible for anyone to see. Then two days later I snapped out of it and had to be like whoa what the fuck is wrong with me... THAT is how it happens. You feel things and do things that feel completely logical atm and when the episode ends you're forced to deal with the shame and consequences of your actions because you're reckless and impulsive and hurt yourself and other people. You think the pain is so unbearable that you'll never feel okay again and then the next day you are filled with so much love you can't imagine how you had so much anger and hatred in you and it feels like an entirely different person. This sort of BPD rage will be depicted in "october will cure me" in later chapters, and it's pretty horrifying to be honest.

So basically, in hopes of de-romanticizing and hopefully destigmatizing too, these parts of BPD have served to make me a very unlikeable person and a bad friend/partner/family member in the past, and it makes people believe the worst in me, even when it isn't true. And there's nothing more helpless than knowing there's no way you can convince people otherwise because you have a track record of being an unreliable, impulsive, and a bad person, and that's on YOU. These things were a wake-up call for me personally. I know other people with BPD who've had similar experiences. Eventually you get so bad it'll kill you, or you'll be forced to seek help and change who you are as a person because you're so horrified with yourself. Even if BPD was the reason, it's not an excuse. BUT it's completely possible to be a good, loving, caring, honest person with BPD and I know this because I'm proof of it being possible to change. And it's possible to find people who love you and treat you well through episodes, and who you're willing to fight the good fight to cope and avoid hurting. I'm very, very lucky to have found those people and my person.

Sorry this is so long, I really tried to cut it, still I haven't touched on everything. If you relate to me, or Regulus as we get further and more unapologetically into the fic, then I definitely recommend you look into talking to a professional and I send you all my love and apologies for this being so much xx

let me know if you or anyone else has questions, because I'm very, very open about all this and I think it's important to talk about BPD honestly but without villainizing it. most of us who ended up this way had some sort of trauma that hurt us enough to literally reshape our brains. And we should recognize that while also recognizing the bad parts and the personal responsibility needed.