#it's not like. NOT personally killing them is doing them any particular favors either

[blujayonthewing]

[reaches to crush a big ant on my desk]

[at that exact second she stops what she was doing to wash her antennae and her little face]

[youjustgotpersassied]

A comprehensive compilation of why Severus Snape is an awful person that doesn’t deserve redemption, pity, or any kindness ever (not in any particular order):

- He is obsessed with the Marauders when they are younger, and tries to compare their antics to the actions of very real, blood supremacist, dark magic-using bullies that Snape was hanging out with and found amusing. (Edit: I’m adding that I’m not saying James and Sirius were right in their actions, I’m simply pointing that Snape wasn’t either. This post isn’t about the marauders, this is about Snape)

(DH, The Prince’s Tale, p673-674, Arthur A. Levine Books edition)

“‘They sneak out at night. There’s something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?’ ‘He’s ill,’ said Lily. “They said he’s ill—’ “Every month at the full moon?’ said Snape. ‘I know your theory,’ said Lily and she sounded cold. ‘Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they’re doing at night?’”

- Snape was very clearly trying to out Remus and actively trying to prove his case about knowing Remus was a werewolf. (More on this later)

-Calls Lily a mudblood, and then tries to excuse his actions. Then Lily says “...you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?” Snape says absolutely nothing to defend himself on this statement, so we can only assume that it is accurate and he commonly uses a slur to describe other students around him.

-We know Snape invented Levicorpus, which we later see James use. How do you think James learned it if not because Severus had used it on him or another student before? We even see Snape use Sectumsempra on James. Sectumsempra, aka the spell capable of cutting someone open and leaving them to bleed to death. This is the kind of experimentation Snape did with Dark Magic.

-Snape was willing to sacrifice the life of a BABY without a second thought until he discovered that the child was Lily’s. Even after this, he prioritizes Lily’s life and isn’t concerned whatsoever about the life of Harry, who at this time is less than a year old.

-If Voldemort had decided that Neville was the Chosen One instead of Harry, Severus Snape would still be a death eater. He didn’t think being a Death Eater was wrong in any way- it wasn’t until he was directly affected by a childhood crush did he reconsider. James and Lily Potter fought for the light because they believed in the light. Severus Snape fought against the dark because the dark had offended him. Had Voldemort gone after the Longbottoms instead, Snape would have lived and died as the most loyal Death Eater in history. Edit: I understand that we can say ‘if’ all day long. The point here I’m trying to make is that Severus Snape is only supporting the light side because it benefits him in this situation. I’m simply pointing out that he’s selfish by nature.

-The prophecy states that the child will be born to parents that have thrice defied the Dark Lord. So therefore Lily in some way defied Voldemort 3 other times. And only now Snape wants to save her? No. It has more to do with the guilt he’s feeling for telling Voldemort about the prophecy. It wasn’t her death that phased him as much as how he’d feel if he caused her death.

-Snape hates Harry simply for the fact that Harry looks like his father. Have you ever considered how Harry would’ve been treated if he’d been a girl that looked like Lily? Edit: I AM NOT INSINUATING ANYTHING PEDOPHILIC. I am making the point that when Harry come to school, Snape saw him and recognized his childhood bully, and instead of making the mature decision and not making judgments about Harry beforehand, he just assumes that Harry will be like his father was in school. If Harry had looked like Lily, Snape would’ve been more inclined to favor him the way he did Draco or Pansy. Not in a creepy way, just in a confirmation-bias kind of way.

-Severus snape once intended to publicly kill a student’s pet as punishment for getting a potion wrong. This pet was also a gift to Neville from his Uncle for getting into Hogwarts- something that his family didn’t think would happen because he wasn’t “magic enough”. So to him- Trevor is a reminder that he is a wizard and that his family is proud of him. Then Snape wants to kill him because Neville got a potion wrong, reinforcing the idea that Neville isn’t “magic enough”.

-When Snape covers for Lupin's class (told you we’d be back here), Snape taught the DADA class and made all the students write essays on how to kill werewolves so that Lupin would have to read these when he came back from going through an incredibly painful time.

-Snape did everything in his power to get Remus fired despite the fact that Remus had spent 16+ years pretty much homeless and without a job.

(OotP, Percy and Padfoot, p302, Arthur A Levine Books edition)

“‘I know she’s a nasty piece of work, though—you should hear Remus talk about her.’ ‘Does Lupin know her?’ asked Harry quickly, remembering Umbridge’s comments about dangerous half-breeds during her first lesson. ‘No,’ said Sirius, ‘but she drafted up a bit of anti-werewolf legislation two years ago that makes it almost impossible for him to get a job.’”

Edit: So let’s do some basic math here. This happens in Order of the Phoenix. The anti-werewolf legislation was written two years prior. This would’ve been during or around The Prisoner of Azkaban. Why would somebody randomly write a piece of legislation like this? Let’s just say that there was a teacher that was outed as a werewolf and people were not happy about it. That would give pretty good reason for someone to write a piece of legislation that would make it hard for a werewolf to get a job. Not just Remus. Every werewolf. Who outed Remus to the wizarding world at large? Severus Snape. So for anyone suggesting that what I wrote below is as good as fanfiction, maybe actually read the books and pay attention to smaller plot lines.

-When Snape tells everyone that Remus is a werewolf, he’s not just telling students or their parents. He’s telling the wizarding world. Because of this, Dolores Umbridge wrote a law that made it almost impossible for Remus to find a job. So not only did he ruin Remus’s life. He ruined the life of Every. Single. Werewolf. in the UK.

-Neville Longbottom’s greatest fear is Severus Snape. Not the woman who tortured his parents into insanity, not the worst wizard of all time, not even any of his other followers. His TEACHER. And this is at an age where Neville doesn’t know everything about Snape and all he’s done. That speaks VOLUMES.

-Condones and takes part in bullying a CHILD when Hermione had enormous teeth EXTENDING PAST HER CHIN growing because of a hex, Snape says, “I see no difference.” After this, Hermione permanently modifies her teeth.

(HBP, Snape Victorious, p160, Arthur A Levine Books edition)

“‘I was interested to see your Patronus.’ He shut the gates in her face with a loud clang and tapped the chains with his wand again, so that they slithered, clinking, back into place. ‘I think you were better off with the old one,’ said Snape, the malice in his voice unmistakable. ‘The new one looks weak.’”

-Mocks Tonks when her Patronus changed when she fell in love with Remus despite the fact that his changed to match Lily’s.

-“Snape took the page bearing Lily’s signature, and her love, and tucked it inside his robes. Then he ripped in two the photograph he was holding, so that he kept the part from which Lily laughed, throwing the portion showing James and Harry back on the floor, under the chest of drawers…” She was laughing at her husband and son. People she loved dearly enough to give up her life and Snape took that and cut them out of it so he could pretend she was laughing for him. Her love in the letter was for Sirius who was the best man at her wedding and her good friend in the order. Snape took that so he could pretend her love was for him. This isn’t romantic. It’s creepy. Snape feels entitled to Lily’s love even though he’s done nothing to deserve it.

-The ONLY reason Snape protects Harry is that he’s under an obligation to by Dumbledore (who is blackmailing him, so Snape doesn’t have a choice). Snape isn’t doing it because he wants to. He’s doing it because if he doesn’t, Dumbledore could sell him out to Voldemort and he’d be killed.

-Again, when he kills Dumbledore, it’s not out of the kindness of his heart or his care for Dumbledore. It’s because he’ll be killed or severely punished if he doesn’t.

-Snape may have done good things, but it isn’t because he wants to. It’s because he doesn’t have a choice.

Essentially, at his roots, Snape is a self-centered blood supremacist who bullies people and only does good things when being threatened and emotionally abuses children because he can’t get over somebody he was attracted to in middle school and is perfectly fine killing adults and infants alike when it’s in his best interest.

I’d like to say that much of this is heavily borrowed or inspired by other writers on this app. I have tagged every user I have access to. However, if you see anything you have written on here or anything please feel free to message me or leave a comment. :)

@sadgaywerewolf @mrsmarymorstan @jamespotterwearsglasses @lance-the-kanto-dragon-master @coffeeinanebula @warmhappycat @pleurocoelus @madamebomb @thefingerfuckingfemalefury @whoopsrobots @harrypotterconfessions @beekeepermarycatherine @honeybadgersdontgiveashit @tonksnymphadora @barricadeponine @jadedlights07 @dobbysclothes @hogwartsandrec @kago-make-dean-some-pie @prongsmydeer @girlswillbeboys11 @siriusblaque @upsettingthedementors @marauders4evr @maxxiegalaxy @ghost-of-bambi

[let-them-fight]

Okay since this has suddenly blown up over the last 3 days, I want to make a post discussing what I meant by it. Because I have shit to say.

Fiction doesn’t affect reality, but fiction can affect people. For better or for worse.

You might read a book and some random line might inspire you enough to want to live by it.

You might play a video game and come away questioning about something you’ve never really thought about before.

(also, just to get this out of the way)

And in regards to the original post— yes, there have been cases in which groups advocating for change have been taken advantage of by bad people. To ignore that would be to ignore history.

But the thing is, that is a real life example. Real people, places, organizations and concepts are and will always be impossible to convey in fictional media because those things are always changing. They are never just black and white, never.

Meanwhile, fiction is different. Whether it’s a book, game, movie, tv show— even the most complex of media will never truly be as “complex” as reality.

Because fiction is written. Scripted, animated. Filmed. Programmed, sculpted, published.

Reality isn’t any of those things. What a person feels, does, says, thinks, isn’t written down, isn’t predestined by some script or line of code— the closest way I can describe it is that it’s dictated by 1,000 hands doing a coin flip at the same time with a 3-sided penny that immediately falls into a hole before a winner can be discerned.

Anyways. I’m off topic.

What I’m trying to get at is that no fictional character has the agency that a real person has. We cannot interview a fictional character and get an idea of how their thought process works, or hell what they had for breakfast or something. No.

Because the extent to which a fictional character, setting, etc. exists— is between the time the opening title fades out and the credits fade in. The time between you clicking new game & when you’ve reached the true ending. When you open page 1 and end page 200.

But like I said. Fiction can have an effect on real people’s minds, for better… or for worse.

You are a viewer who might not know any better. You might not be well informed on history, and may easily have your mind shaped by whatever you consume.

You turn on a show, plug into a game, open a book, grab your popcorn and watch a movie. And in this media, there’s a character, or maybe multiple characters— and their cause is laid out, plain and simple.

Maybe they’re apart of some oppressed group, fictional or nonfictional, who wants change in society. Who wants their oppressors to just stop oppressing them, and has been pushed to the extent in which the only way their voices can be heard is through violence. Most likely they are already “antagonists” of the narrative, but that their goals are treated as being… “understandable”… by either that narrative, or the main cast.

At least, to the extent that these protagonists can still gleefully beat the shit out of them without anyone batting an eye.

And you continue watching, playing, reading, etc. And most likely at this point, the narrative has begun to portray these particular antagonists in a different light.

Perhaps they’ve begun upholding the goals they said they had less and less. They’re becoming more violent just for the sake of it.

And also at this point it is likely that the narrative is… silently… treating this character’s/group’s initial goals with less and less favorability. Key word, silently.

“Oh, this character is fighting back against oppressors… but now they’re killing people? How evil, surely pushback against oppressive groups can never be achieved.”

“Oh, this fictional group/organization wants to fix their society? Their society which has displaced them without care? …Oh, but they’re bombing buildings now, surely we could never take their displacement seriously.”

And eventually as you near the end of this narrative, the slippery slope has been slipped upon. In an instant, the character(s) whose goals were at least given a shred of sympathy at the beginning of this story

suddenly end up killing thousands of people.

Or maybe, they suddenly turn out to be apart of the very group they’re trying to combat against.

Or maybe, they’re a Holocaust survivor.

Another thing you might see the narrative start to do at this point is suddenly reveal the backstory of this character/organization— and most likely, it’s something sad, upsetting, angering. But it rings hollow, it’s meant to ring hollow. Because when you give a character(s) you’ve already assigned the hatesink role to, that backstory will be disregarded in the instant if never explored upon. And in most instances… it’s not explored upon. It’s shock value.

And while this might not be the case for the character above, as my knowledge of X-Men is fairly limited… I can say that this is the case for another character:

This character was branded.

This character who, in universe, is apart of a fictitious minority group, is revealed to have been branded and enslaved by a company run by his oppressors, with outside material implying this was possibly done while he was a minor.

Good thing this was revealed after he turned out to be a genocidal terrorist & abuser! Who cares that he was branded? I bet whoever did it just really “let him have it.” (Writer’s own words!) Please don’t look up the fact that Adam is a Hebrew name! Please also don’t realize that the initials he was branded with & the company he was enslaved by had a German name!

And most likely at this point, the character(s) have two routes to go down.

They die graphically. Maybe not in a big bloody gorebath, but they’re not given the same amount of liberty in death that other villains in this media might get. Bonus points if it’s on-screen. However, you’ll have the main character “mourning the loss” of them, or rather, what they could’ve been, if only they’d not gone so far!

2. Or just take what I said in 1 but without the last sentence.

And then, credits roll. You’ve reached the true ending. Page 200. Final episode. Whatever. And if you’re the viewer I mentioned at the beginning of all of this, who might not know any better—

who takes what they see in fiction and applies it to the world around them…

You’ll think. “Are people/groups like that in the real world this dangerous, too?” (especially if it’s used in media meant for children.)

But anyways.

It’s propaganda dipped in flashing lights or likable characters. It’s propaganda that’s hidden under cool set pieces, beautiful cinematography, “good writing.”

I wanna reiterate what I said earlier in this post.

“What I’m trying to get at is that no fictional character has the agency that a real person has. We cannot interview a fictional character and get an idea of how their thought process works, or hell what they had for breakfast or something. No. Because the extent to which a fictional character, setting, etc. exists— is between the time the opening title fades out and the credits fade in. The time between you clicking new game & when you’ve reached the true ending. When you open page 1 and end page 200.”

When a character advocating for justice or freedom or something noble and good, suddenly ends up murdering babies or bombing hospitals, they loose the “advocating for justice or freedom” part. They’ve shifted from one part of their written arc to the next.

We only see what the narrative allows us to. So when the narrative only allows us to see these character(s) do horrific things, we subconsciously interpret that these things were their main goals all along. And most often, this kind of narrative will prove you right on that front. Sadly.

And again. If you’re “that viewer”— you’ll apply that logic to the world around you. You’ll grow into that logic. You’ll see news reporters regard people protesting a genocide as “needing to be put in insane asylums” and nod your head. You’ll see podcasters tout a group fighting against police brutality and racism as terrorists and agree with them.

Maybe I’m being exaggerative. It’s 12 am here. But what I’m really trying to emphasize here is that this trope is propaganda. Yes, there are real world examples of bad people taking over good organizations. But when you present a scenario like that in fiction, you subtract the nuances and complexities that real life has.

And it becomes propaganda. Propaganda that no one is immune to, and anyone can be susceptible to.

It’s propaganda when Bioshock’s Daisy Fitzroy, a black revolutionary & former slave who wanted freedom for her people, has her goals invalidated time & time again and is portrayed as just as evil as the system itself.

It’s propaganda when The Legend of Korra’s Zaheer, who wanted to destroy the authority figures of the world so that all people could be free, ends up torturing the main protagonist on screen.

It’s propaganda when Star Wars’ Barriss Offee, who wanted the Jedi to return to being peacekeepers, not warmongers, and then bombing their temple. (Didn’t help that she’s heavily Muslim coded.)

It’s propaganda when Game of Throne’s Daenerys Targaryen goes from being a victim of abuse who wanted to liberate the oppressed and destroy their oppressors, to becoming a murderer of thousands because “she was mean to some slavers.”

It’s propaganda when RWBY’s White Fang, a group made up of members of an in-universe minority race, are never once given a shred of sympathy, becoming nothing more than evil terrorists wanting to take over the world, and are even blamed as “the cause of their own racism.”

It’s propaganda when Marvel’s Erik Killmonger wants to continue what his father wanted and empower black people around the world to fight against their oppression, “overthrow their oppressors”, but then just… actually wants to conquer the entire world.

And it’s propaganda when Magneto, a Jewish man, a survivor of the holocaust… is written to be an advocate for genocide.

TL;DR:

[songsofbloodandwater]

RE: people online talking about how Mercury Retrograde affects them negatively or urging others to do protection work because of this and that eclipse or trine or conjunction or stellar event of your choice. May I bring a different perspective to the table?

I haven't personally felt any negative repercussions. I have felt pressure and shifts here and there, but I wouldn't call that negative or malevolent. I actually only felt a surge of energy recently and, in fact, even did a money working on the day of the last eclipse!

Put down the pitchforks, I am a witch but I'm not senseless. I simply don't see any stellar events as inherently beneficial or malevolent. I find that reductive. Movements, conjunctions, eclipses, anything about the luminaries... is all part of the wider spirit ecosystem and part something else. Part warning and part lesson, and part opportunities that you're invited to take... or resist. It all becomes subjective when you take into consideration who these events are affecting and what the person is doing in relation to that.

You wouldn't call a wildfire inherently malevolent, yet it is destructive. It's simply nature finding it's way. It is an important part of many ecosystems ensuring fertility of the land and the correct sprouting of those seeds that need warmth and ash to grow. Same thing with those considered "malevolent" stars... they're wildfires or, given the current placement of certain Luminaries that seem to worry some of you so much, perhaps you can see them more as floods. A big flood. Where you can learn to go with the current or try to go against it and keep doing whatever it was you were doing before the flood happened.

So, forgive my ecologist brain for having no better way to explain this but see, if you're a very dry soil acclimated plant with no tolerance for salty marshgrounds, you'll obviously see this spring tide as malevolent. You could even argue that the sea is out to kill you, and you're a poor little innocent land plant. Evil Ocean. But other species thrive in the intertidal. I'm having the time of my life.

Assess your current situation, in all that is material and mundane and also in all spiritual fronts, consider what Spirits (up among the Stars, or related to them) may be working with you or against you, and how. You'll likely find more allies than enemies. That by itself is a reassurance, and you'll do good staying by their side until your "problems" are solved. Reorganize and restructure your plans accordingly, with the help of these allies. That could look like protection, yes, but hiding away in a little magic bunker isn't the one solution to everything that presents a challenge to you, or that could potentially be harmful to you and yours either. Sometimes it means walking away until the tide is gone instead of burying yourself in the sand. Sometimes it means learning to swim.

Sometimes it means an orca could get a taste of mouse for the first time. Or Moose, or God Forbid! even a Wolf! Who would've thought. What a great opportunity for the otherwise unthinkable to happen. What a sweet reminder that these are things that not only do happen, but happen more often than we think, and acknowledging it could serve us...

Yes, orcas have been known to eat moose occasionally. Get with the program. Terrestrial mammals prey on sea life all the time, why wouldn't we turn the tide? (very bad pun intended)

The "Cunning" part of witchcraft people talk so often about is exactly that, not letting anything step on you, instead use it as a stepping stone. Do you want to be the plant, the moose or the orca?

I don't think any particular stellar events demand doing more protection work from me than any other regular time. You should always have protective measures around your loved ones. But specifically to those practicing magic in any way? Protection wouldn't be my first thought. Put those shifts to good use. Don't just aim to leave unscathed. That's not doing you or yours any favor.

One of my favorite astrologers made a post a while back saying "The stars impel but do not compel". I wholeheartedly agree and I believe specially us, as magical practitioners, should be able to rise above these events. Whatever that means to you and your spirits.

[choices-binglebonkus]

My Current CoP2 Murderer Theory

WARNING: The following theory contains spoilers for the chapter 14 summary as well as content that may be disturbing. This theory includes mentions of emotional manipulation, murder, fratricide, and incest. Go no further if you don’t wish to be exposed to either spoilers or disturbing content.

So. This theory is a little out there, but like I said in my last post, I think it’s crazy enough to actually have some merit. I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m at least partially correct here.

Let’s not get too wild all at once, though. I’m going to start out with the easy stuff.

The chapter 14 summary makes the claim that one of Queen Viktoria’s daughters is an illegitimate child not fathered by King Maksim. Kaspar, Emika, and Patryk are not female, and Trystan is gender determinant. This leaves only Lydea and Astrid as the two contenders for Viktoria’s lovechild. And, as the summary states, *ONE* of her daughters is illegitimate, so it isn’t both.

Let’s take a look at Astrid first. She’s spoiled, petulant, bratty as hell, and seems to have no positive relationships with ANY of the other Thornes, while everyone else seems to have at least one sibling or parent they’re close with (except Patryk. Sorry man.) And if the order of heirs includes the illegitimate Thornes, she’s fourth in line for the throne only behind Lydea, Vasili, and Trystan. However, even though she’s one of the older Thornes, her parents don’t seem to favor her very much. Her mother in particular has Lydea sabotage Astrid’s relationship because her boyfriend was “socially unbearable” with “risky” political leanings.

Needless to say, Astrid isn’t anybody’s favorite in the family.

Lydea, however, seems to be Queen Viktoria’s favorite. Sergeant of the Royal Guard eventually promoted to Captain of the Royal Guard, and before Trystan was reinstated as heir, she was the heir to the throne of Drakovia. She is described as a key player in international politics, and has extensive experience in combat and covertness to match. She’s the one Queen Viktoria sends to America to personally arrest Trystan and bring them back to Drakovia. In other words, she’s the Queen’s favorite, yes, but also her right hand.

Why would Queen Viktoria favor Lydea out of all her other children unless she were the secret lovechild?

That is the first part of my theory: that Lydea Thorne, Captain of the Royal Guard, former heir to the throne, is Queen Viktoria’s illegitimate child.

Now, the next part of my theory covers the events of chapter 12 in which Sebastyan Thorne, previously our prime suspect in the investigation, is found murdered. Murdered by having his throat slit, which is exactly how Nadja Zoric died. Now, I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but would it be a huge leap to assume that Bas was also garroted to death?

A little about the garrote. The garrote is a handheld weapon used to strangle a person, primarily for silent or stealthy kills. It can be made of chain, rope, hell, even scarves, anything that allows for strangulation, or at the very least, the crushing of the larynx to hinder the victim’s communication capabilities.

Let’s also take notice of the way Sebastyan is poised: he’s sitting in a private box, propped up against a chair and slumped over. Given the choice of wording when we first discover the blood coming from the box, “Blood leaks over the edge in a slow, thick dribble”, it’s reasonable to assume that Sebastyan was not murdered while he was sitting: the majority of the blood would have been on or around his chair instead. Rather, Sebastyan seems to have been positioned there, and that is WILD considering there was about a ~2 minute timeframe between Colette losing track of him and us finding his freshly murdered, still bleeding corpse.

But what was he doing in the private box in the first place? The fashion show was over at that point. What reason did he have to be up there?

We see Sebastyan constantly looking at his phone throughout the chapter, noticeably tense. He’s outraged, obviously, that the main character and Trystan have stolen his ledger, but notice how his aggravation flares up when you call him out about being on his phone.

Almost like he was hiding something. Hiding something like him being watched.

But who was watching him?

When he answers a call just before the runway, he seethes into the phone that the person shouldn’t be calling him and that their negotiation was final. He then asks if they’re sure they want to pursue “this”, and that it didn’t end well for the last person who tried.

Later on in the evening, he says he knows why the main character and Trystan were in his office, and that he was aware they had his ledger, then requests that the main character talk to him in private. If the main character tries to take him up on his offer, he grows visibly nervous and says, “Not now. There are too many eyes.”

He was most certainly being watched, and eventually, lured to his death.

But this all begs the question…what was Sebastyan’s final negotiation? What happened to the last person who tried to pursue it? And who were they?

Well, dear readers, I believe Sebastyan was alluding to one Nadja Zoric.

“But Binglebonkus,” I hear you ask, “Sebastyan and Nadja were in alignment with the Heir Act. If that’s what Sebastyan was referring to on the phone, why would he suddenly be so discouraging of it to his caller?”

In chapter 11, we see Vasili—previously unmentioned until this very moment, I hasten to add—leaning in while Sebastyan was arguing for the Heir Act in front of the Drakovian Legislation and whispering something that only his brother could hear. Almost like he was coaching him, instructing him, something of that nature.

It’s also mentioned that Sebastyan and Vasili were very close growing up, as Vasili looked out for him. By extension, Lydea and Sebastyan also got along because of the closeness she and Vasili shared. In addition, Lydea took Sebastyan under her wing and protected him from torment at the hands of Astrid, the twins, and Patryk.

Something else to note is that, despite Vasili’s desire to remain uninvolved with the Heir Act, he does support it, and as previously mentioned, he instructs Sebastyan as he argued in favor of it before the Legislation.

Lydea, however, hasn’t made her stance clear on the Heir Act. And this, right here, is very telling on its own. If we’re going based on my theory that Lydea is Queen Viktoria’s illegitimate child, it’s entirely possible that Lydea is aware of her illegitimacy, and that by not expressing her views on the Heir Act one way or another, she’s keeping any suspicion at bay.

But given her closeness with Vasili, and by extension, Sebastyan, as well as her ostensible illegitimacy, it’s likely she feels some sort of way about the Heir Act. And by “some sort of way”, I mean that, however covertly she can, she supports it.

So here we have Sebastyan growing up, tormented by the legitimate heirs. He’s got his mother who favors him, and he eventually has a little sister when Marguerite is born years later. His dad always turned a blind eye to the treatment of his illegitimate children and truly only paid Trystan any mind.

How much of a blessing is it, then, when he has Vasili, his protective big brother, and Lydea, the only one of the king’s legitimate children to actively defend and help him? How relieved must he have felt? How reverent of them was he due to their actions which, in his position, may as well have been deserving of sainthood?

More importantly…what would Sebastyan do to thank them? To prove himself worthy of all their kindness?

It might have started with a seemingly innocent statement on Vasili’s part. Perhaps he expressed how he wished he could have had the chance to be king conveniently where Sebastyan could hear, only to not bring it up again for some time. Just enough time, anyway, to have planted the seed in Sebastyan’s mind, to let it grow. Maybe he dropped a few more subtle hints, but then the subtle hints became less subtle the longer they went on. Maybe Vasili eventually outright told Sebastyan that he would have been a great king. And Sebastyan, already so fiercely loyal to Vasili, would have agreed. He was a great big brother, so why not a great king?

Here's where the theory gets fucked up. And I do mean REALLY fucked up. Disclaimer: at this point, this theory is almost entirely conjecture and speculation, but bear with me.

Vasili was the oldest of the king’s illegitimate children. While he was Sebastyan’s big brother and protector, he didn’t have anyone to fill that role for himself. While it may have been bearable at first, when more legitimate Thorne heirs were born, he felt isolated. Alone. Positively desolate. No one else understood. No one else felt what he felt.

Then, perhaps, Lydea, when she was old enough, learned the truth about her birthright. Perhaps, in a moment of her own vulnerability, she sought Vasili’s insights. He was older than her, and he was the only other person who could have possibility understood what she was feeling.

Vasili, of course, was in awe. He was equally incredulous that he, too, now had someone else understand his plight. This, if you’ll allow me to continue speculating, may have been the start of their tight-knit dynamic.

But now, the two of them shared knowledge that sat heavy in their minds, especially as they grew up together. They were raised as half-siblings, yes, but Lydea’s revelation changed everything. They didn’t share a mother. They didn’t share a father. They didn’t share a drop of blood in their veins.

Yes. I’m going there. Lydea and Vasili Thorne fell in love with each other unbeknownst to their parents, their siblings, anyone, and started a romantic relationship as they continued to be raised together as siblings.

I warned you it was fucked up.

They shared love for one another, and they shared a common goal: legitimize royal children born outside of wedlock. Most importantly: they shared a strong relationship with Sebastyan, Vasili’s full-brother and Lydea’s alleged half-brother. Of course, neither one of them informed Sebastyan of Lydea’s birthright: they both knew they needed to keep things under wraps lest someone get ahold of Lydea’s secret and scandalize them both.

Years went by. Vasili and Lydea groomed Sebastyan to be a shrewd politician with a campaign to someday change the rules of legitimacy. Politics became Sebastyan’s entire life. He graduated summa cum laude from the University of Drakovia with a BA in Politics and Foreign Relations.

Sometime along the way, however, he met Juliana Georgescu and Nadja Zoric, who were both ideologically motivated to push for a change in legitimization. Between the three of them (with some instruction and supervision from Vasili and Lydea), they started the campaign for the Drakovian Act for Heir Equity.

Eventually, Sebastyan fell in love with Juliana. But despite all the heavy implications throughout the story about their relationship, they were just that: heavy implications. A romantic involvement between the two of them was entirely unconfirmed.

But do you want to hear something interesting? In chapter 12 if you present Juliana’s inscribed locket to Lydea, it surprises her. “Lydea raises her eyebrow the smallest amount, but it’s enough to tell you she recognizes it.” She thumbed open the locket and read the romantic inscription under her breath, visibly unsettled as she utters the words, “To my love…”

But just as quickly as her emotions appeared, they were gone. As if she were trying to course-correct herself.

While I do believe that Lydea and Vasili shared a covert romantic relationship, (yes, I know, it’s disgusting no matter how many times I say it) it’s entirely possible that, to subvert any suspicion, Lydea pursued Juliana. Entirely as a ruse, of course, but she could have chosen worse. After all, Juliana’s end goals did align with hers and Vasili’s.

But then her feelings changed. Lydea found herself actively seeking Juliana’s company. She found herself enjoying the time they spent together. She found herself truly admiring Juliana. She was conflicted, of course. She had Vasili, after all. But she couldn’t deny that she was starting to feel something genuine for the countess.

Their relationship continued long enough for Lydea to gift Juliana a locket, the inscribed locket we find hidden away in Sebastyan’s desk in chapter 11, and the Nightingale whistle we find in Juliana’s room in chapter 9, with a note that read “Should you ever have need of me, you know how to find me”.

Unfortunately, Lydea wasn’t the only Thorne who fell for Juliana. Sebastyan, in his time working with her, developed his own feelings. Perhaps the infighting the two developed that ultimately stifled progress on the Act stemmed from his feelings of betrayal that Juli would choose his half-sister over him.

That’s how Juliana “broke [his] heart”. And only when Lydea realized the distress it was causing Sebastyan (and by extension, the Act) did she think to truly end things with Juli, who was on track to be promised to Trystan, anyway. Despite still having her relationship with Vasili, those feelings for Juliana never truly faded.

But somewhere along the way, Lydea slipped up. She got a little too curious and a little too invested in learning about Juliana’s progress with the Act. Juliana was obviously a smart woman, so this aroused a little suspicion in her, leading her to speculate and write in her journal her suspicions that one of the Queen’s children was illegitimate, and though she suspected Lydea, she graciously left her name out of her diary, perhaps out of some small, unnoticed sign of respect.

But Vasili noticed something was amiss. He noticed the sudden quarrels between his brother and Juliana, the lack of progress being made on the Act, and Lydea’s sudden eagerness to sever her relationship with Juliana.

He realized Juliana must have uncovered something. Something was percolating in her mind, and with the lack of progress being made on the Act, something had to give.

Vasili pursued her for months, a shadow lurking around her every corner. But what could she do? She was only a countess. He was a prince of Drakovia. She only grew more and more paranoid, which trickled down into even more tension between her and Sebastyan. Things came to a head the night of Marguerite’s fashion show. Everyone of importance was in attendance, but Trystan approached Vasili asking him to cover for them, as they wanted to get away from it all with Juliana.

Dutiful brother that he was, Vasili covered for Trystan and Juliana. He gave them a head start, allowing them enough time to get their yacht out onto the water, to get into bed together. Trystan had been drinking quite a bit that night. Vasili knew they would be out like a light in no time.

And this, of course, was the perfect opportunity to get her alone once and for all.

Vasili crept aboard that night, luring Juliana to the main deck with a similar bird whistle to the one Lydea gifted her. She begged him to leave her alone, to which he replied…

“But I finally found a way we can get everything we’ve always wanted.”

And what’s the first thing Vasili did in his attack?

“The figure steps forward, a gloved hand reaching for [Juliana’s] throat!”

Did you catch that?

Juliana’s throat.

Nadja’s throat was slit using a garrote. Sebastyan’s throat was slit with what we assume was a garrote. And Juliana, though her cause of death was ruled to be a head injury, was grabbed by the throat.

Vasili killed Juliana. He needed to cover up his and Lydea’s tracks. He hadn’t meant for the countess’s death to shelve the Heir Act, but if he waited and played the long game? He could turn things around.

He could use Juliana’s death to garner more support for the Heir Act.

Trystan was quickly blamed for the countess’s death and exiled. Lydea, the second in line for the throne, assumed the role of heir. From this new position of power, she and Vasili would be able to have eyes and ears practically everywhere in Drakovia. Not to mention the influence it brought.

But then, of course, Trystan stirred up trouble among the rabble in America. They’d gotten tangled up in the investigation of a serial killer, and Queen Viktoria was not happy, claiming it “disgraced” Drakovia. She sent her lovechild and right-hand, Lydea, to personally arrest Trystan and bring them back to Drakovia for a trial.

A trial that Vasili facilitated by pulling some strings and planting evidence to convince Nadja Zoric of Trystan’s guilt.

Of course, Trystan was found not guilty, and Juliana’s death was ruled an accident. But Nadja expressed interest in resurrecting the campaign they had shelved all those years ago.

Vasili could use this. He urged Sebastyan to call Nadja to the palace courtyard to discuss the Act, conveniently leaving out his true motives: to lure her into Trystan’s chambers and murder her.

Two out of three of the proponents for the Heir Act unexpectedly dead had to garner some kind of sympathy for the Act. Didn’t it?

It did not. But Sebastyan, after Nadja’s death, only became more driven, more restless. He continued to push, continued to fight, continued to demand the passing of the Act. Two of his fellow committee members had died. He had to finish their work. And he had Vasili and Lydea to help him.

His mother always worried that his support for the Act would make him a target. Before, he couldn’t have cared less. He wanted this for Vasili. Vasili would be a remarkable king, an even better ruler than Trystan, who he still saw as responsible for Juliana’s demise.

But then, ambivalence set in. Just a dash of uncertainty here and there, but even as spirited as his arguments before the Drakovian Legislation were, Lydea and Vasili could tell he was faltering.

Something had to be done.

A few days later, Sebastyan found Juliana’s locket—the one she used to wear—planted on his desk in plain sight at his office. That’s when he realized someone was trying to frame him.

He was shocked. Horrified. Furious. How dare someone leave this here? How dare someone try to use this against him? He took the locket and hid it behind a secret panel in the back of the desk, not having the heart to get rid of it. Not yet, anyway.

Something tugged at his memory. He recalled Lydea—one of his most trusted confidants—and her relationship with Juli; a relationship that, out of seemingly nowhere, ended.

Lydea had given it to her. Lydea had given it to her, and somehow, it had found its way into his desk eight years after her death.

She had the means of planting it. She was the Captain of the Royal Guard, for god’s sake. But even if it weren’t her, someone had still planted this locket—this small remnant of Juli—on his desk in a public building.

But now? Juli was dead. Nadja was dead. And Trystan and their detective seemed to be especially leery of him.

Either he was their prime suspect, or he was about to join Juliana and Nadja.

He told Vasili he was going to shelve the Act again, that it wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, that he wanted some time and space. The world, it seemed, was closing in on Sebastyan, but he knew his big brother would understand.

But he did not.

Vasili was furious. He demanded Sebastyan reconsider his position, a plea delivered too late. Sebastyan’s mind was made up. It was better to be safe than sorry, after all.

If Sebastyan wasn’t going to be of any use to him alive, then maybe he’d be more useful dead.

The night of Marguerite’s second Drakovian fashion show rolled around. Sebastyan was walking that night at the behest of their little sister. But for days, he had been receiving texts that ranged from slightly unsettling to outright menacing. Tonight, they were at their most frequent, and their most threatening, but he did his best to ignore them.

Right before walking, he received a text that he was being watched, complete with a photo of him exactly where he was.

A second later, Vasili called him, and he realized exactly what was happening. His older brother—his guardian and faithful friend and protector—was coercing him into pushing for the Act. Vasili never had a history of blackmail or extortion that he knew of, but he was seeing a whole new side to him tonight.

Sebastyan realized Trystan and the detective had been looking at him practically all evening. Seeing little other option, he demanded to speak to the detective alone, but ultimately lacked the courage to do so since he knew eyes and ears were everywhere. If the world felt like it was closing in before, it felt like it was CRUSHING him now.

Eventually, as the night started to wind down, Vasili approached him in person, but there was no cold fury on his face. No, instead, there was regret; a deep sorrow behind his eyes. On his face was kindness, was genuine love and concern.

Vasili hesitantly asked Sebastyan for a moment to talk, brother-to-brother. He seemed so nervous and unsure of himself. It was clear he had something on his mind, but lacked the courage to say it outright.

Seeing the warring emotions on Vasili’s face, Sebastyan’s misgivings about him subsided. How could he think Vasili, his protector and confidant, would harm him in any way?

So the two of them went together to a private box overlooking an empty theater.

And only one came out.

Sebastyan’s death would carry more weight than it did Juliana and Nadja’s. He was a Drakovian prince, after all. Perhaps now, the Drakovian people would have to listen. The three of them, in the eyes of Drakovia, would be seen as martyrs who died for their cause. And in Drakovia, what nobler could a cause be if three young, brilliant minds had died in their quest to bring it to fruition?

Sebastyan was little more than a tool for Vasili to use, and once he stopped being useful, he simply discarded him. He had served his purpose. Now, it would elevate Vasili in the family. What’s his little brother’s death when it would make him King of Drakovia?

All he had to do was find some way to be rid of Trystan and the crown was his.

tl;dr—Vasili and Lydea, two non blood-related illegitimate children, formed a semi-incestuous romance in which the two of them groomed Sebastyan into a politician to push for what would become the Drakovian Act for Heir Equity. Vasili systematically murdered Juliana, Nadja, and eventually Sebastyan to garner support for the Act by turning them into martyrs.

[mi-rae07]

Choi San : In Another Life

Pairing : Choi San (Ateez) and named character (Yoon Serena)

_____________

A/n : An old story that has been in my drafts for too long, I decided to finally just post. Not the best, but not the worst either. 

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Serena stared at the pregnancy test in front of her, tears filling her eyes as it showed just one word, "pregnant".

Serena : no, no.

Serena sobbed as she slid down her bathroom wall, clutching her stomach as tears fell from her eyes freely. What was she going to do, how was she going to deal with this baby, their baby. She couldn't do this, she can't even if she wanted to. This baby, it…it had to die. But then she remembered how much san had wanted to be a dad, how much he had told her about a little them running around the house. And now, how could she take that away from him.

Serena looked at her phone screen as a notification chimed, a notification from the one person she feared the most in this world.

"Daughter, we only have a day more. You must kill him tonight, it's now or never"

Serena cried harder as she read those words, her hands clenching around her dress fabric as her mind swarmed to the day she had marked her doom, and choi san's.

______________________________

9 months ago :

Serena opened the door to her father's office, her face void of any emotions as she looked at her father who was sitting in his desk, a gun held in his hand. There was nothing about guns to serena, she was a mafia heir, the daughter of one of the most feared mafia in the nation. Guns were her tea sets, the dead bodies that piled up, her dollhouse. She grew up around blood and guns, this was nothing new.

Serena walked up to her father and bowed as she asked

Serena : is there something you wish to tell me, father?

Mr yoon : yes, your last mission before becoming leader.

Serena hadn't expected this, but she betrayed no emotions, because that's what her father preffered.

Serena : you wish to resign?

Mr yoon : yes, it's high time.

Serena nodded and asked

Serena : what is my mission then, father?

Mr yoon : kill choi san.

Serena : I will go with a group of men tonight-

Her father clicked his tongue and shook his head, twirling the gun around his finger as he said

Mr yoon : I want him to die at the hands of someone he loves.

Serena : he doesn't have any known relatives or girlfriends, father.

Mr yoon : which is why you need to make him fall in love with you.

Serena clenched her fist behind her back, not liking where this was going.

Serena : father.

Mr yoon : I give you 10 months. Do whatever you need to do, it isn't hard to make a man as lonely as choi san to fall in love with someone, especially you. And within the end of the 9th month, kill him, all by yourself and then stage it as an accident. Accomplish this, and my empire is all yours.

Serena : father-

Mr yoon : why, is that too much for you?

Serena : no, it is not. I just wish to know why him, why choi san. He is all but a businessman.

Mr yoon : he is also the son of the same man who killed my wife.

Serena paused, trying her best not to show the shock in her face. Her mother had died when she was only a baby. It was a car accident, or that's what the police made that out to be. But her father had always told her someone was behind it, and he had made it his life mission to kill the man.

But now, serena was going to have to kill that man's son, who would have known nothing about this.

Serena : why don't we just kill that particular man?

Mr yoon : he is already dead, my daughter. But my vengeance remains. You know what they say, the children carry the crimes of their fathers. Choi san isn't innocent, he wouldn't have become who he is right now if he were completely innocent. You know how this industry works.

Serena nodded as her father sighed and slid the gun he was holding towards serena and said

Mr yoon : so, my daughter? Will you do the job, do your mom a favor?

Serena looked at the gun, her jaw clenched. She needed this company, she needed her father's position. And there was only one way to get this. It was just another man anyway, she could kill him well enough love or not.

Serena picked up the gun with her left hand and said, looking straight into her father's eyes before saying

Serena : consider the job done, father.

Serena looked at the gun, the gun with which she would kill the biggest business man of Korea with. Oh well, it wasn't like she was going to fall in love with him, was it?

___________________________

Present time :

Serena now looked at the gun in her hand, her tears falling on it's handle. She was wrong, so fucking wrong. She had not only fallen utterly in love with the man she was supposed to kill, but was also carrying his child now.

San was all serena never wanted, he was kind, he was innocent, he was sweet and he was so loving. He gave her the world, and she could burn the world for him. San's heart beat for serena now, as hers did for him. She forgot everything when she was with him, his love gave her so much happiness. San has only ever told her the truth, and serena has only ever lied to him. She hated it, every second of those lies. But she was too selfish to let san go. She loved him too much, to the point she was willing to give her up to him.

She never should have fallen in love with choi san, but how could someone hold themselves back from loving someone like him? But now, now she would have to kill him, the same day she found out she was going to be the mother of his child.

Serena felt sobs breaking her, the grip on her gun tightening as she felt the world falling on her. How unfair was her life? All she wanted was this, was san, and now that she had gotten it, it was going away from her.

Serena fell on the floor in her and san's room, holding her stomach as she whispered

Serena : eomma is so sorry baby, she's so very sorry.

She had no choice, she had to kill him. It was either that, or her father would kill him. And the worst part? Her father would let serena live, live in a world without san.

____________________________

San was in his office, looking through some files when his secretary opened the door and walked in, uneasiness visible in his face as he placed a file on san's desk. San jerked away from his desk as he noticed that the file was covered in…blood. San looked at his secretary with alarming eyes.

Secretary : this-this came for you, sir.

The secretary turned and walked out the door, closing it behind him. San looked at the file as he read the address

"From Yoon Se-hyun"

San flinched as he realized who that was, he knew the position se-hyun was in and what his father had done to se-hyun's family. Was this…revenge?

San slowly opened the package with trembling hands, trying not to get the blood on them. The first thing he saw after he removed the package shocked him to levels he couldn't explain, as he stood up from his seat shakily.

It was a picture, of se-hyun and serena.

San : n-no.

San quickly took the letter that had come with the package and started reading it, his eyes tearing up as each line passed.

"Hello, I am Yoon Se-hyun. And I'm sure you must know me as who I am, a mafia boss. But I am also serena's father, as she must not have told you. You see, I sent her to you as a mission, a mission to kill you. I asked her to make you fall in love with her and pretend that she was in love with you too, I ordered her to kill you in the end, slowly and painfully as your father had killed and betrayed my wife. And she agreed to do it because only if she succeeds in killing you, would she get to become the next leader of this gang. And hence, the story goes.

I had contemplated a lot on whether to tell you this or let serena say it to you. But then I realized, hearing betrayal from someone else would be much more painful than hearing it from the person themselves.

I wish you a good life again, choi san."

San sat back on his chair, tears streaming down his cheeks as he crumpled the letter and threw it away. It was a lie, all of it, all of what he felt and all of what she told him she had felt, a lie. San felt rage fill him up as he stood up and took his car keys, storming out of his office.

_____________________________

San banged open the front door to his penthouse, calling out serena's name. but he heard nothing, not one sound. He looked around the entire penthouse, but he saw no one. San felt his heart accelerating as he thought of whether serena had left him even before he could say anything, because for some reason it still hurt.

San flinched as he heard a small sound, the balcony. San hadn't checked the terrace above their room. He quickly ran up the stairs to the terrace, the entire city lit up below him in pretty lights. It looked like little stars from the height he was on right now, they were 98 floors above the ground anyway.

San looked around the terrace, hoping to find serena. But he once again saw no one. San turned around and was about to walk towards the door when he felt a small click behind him and a cold metal piece pressed into his head. San turned around slowly, the sight of his girlfriend pointing a gun at him instantly bringing tears to his eyes.

San : s-so it was true after all.

Serena : what was true.

San : that you're yoon se-hyun's daughter, yoon serena.

Serena's eyes slightly widened, not knowing how san had found out. There was no way he could find this out, she had hid everything perfectly. And she was good at that.

Serena : what?

San scoffed, a sarcastic smile playing on his lips as he said

San : your father sent a package to me, covered in someone's blood, serena.

Serena shut her eyes tightly, her grip on the gun tightening at the betrayal. But she tried to maintain her posture, she had to.

Serena : then you must know I'm supposed to kill you.

San smiled at serena, hopelessness filling his eyes. Serena looked away, her heart breaking at how san looked at her.

San : yes, and you're doing it right now aren't you.

Serena : san.

San : it was all a lie, you did all this to get your father's position.

Serena : your father, killed my mom.

San : that wasn't my fucking fault serena, I couldn't even fucking talk when your mother was killed!

Serena : I have to do this.

San : tell me the truth, did you ever love me, even once?

Serena pressed her lips together, her eyes lowering to the floor as san scoffed, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

San : I am such a fool.

Serena : san please-

San : shoot me.

Serena : listen to me!

San : FUCKING SHOOT ME!

Serena : I CAN'T, I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!

San flinched and stepped back, his eyes widening as he gasped in shock.

San : w-what-

San cut himself off as serena threw the gun away from them and fell on the floor, sobbing as she said, her voice breaking

Serena : I'm in love with you and I'm…san, I'm pregnant.

San paused, stumbling as he fell on the ground as well. Tears streamed down his eyes as small sobs broke his body, his hands trembling as he clenched them

San : no, no tell me you're lying.

Serena shook her head as she whimpered

Serena : I'm not, I wis-wish I was but no, there's life inside me san-ah.

San cried harder at her words, serena leaning closer to him and pulling his head towards her chest as they cried in each other's arms. San wrapped his arm around serena's waist as he screamed in pain, knowing there was no way that child could make it out alive. Everything that he had dreamt of, shattered into bits. San's tears stained serena's shirt as she sniffed and said

Serena : you…you have to leave for a while san.

San looked up, his teary eyes staring at serena's as she smiled sadly and whispered

Serena : I wanna protect you.

San : your father-

Serena : I will kill him, which is why I need to stay behind as you leave this country.

San : and then…and then when I come back we can be together?

San looked at serena with those huge eyes filled with innocence, not knowing half of what serena knew, half of what she had gone through. He always had hope, always.

Serena : baby.

San : no, please-

Serena : if I have to kill my father, I would have to die as well, san-ah.

San sobbed, shaking his head desperately as he felt the world crashing down on him. Serena held his cheek as she whispered

Serena : I would have that advantage of surprise on my father, so I would be able to kill him. But I know my father, san, he won't die without killing the cause of his death somehow. And if that cause is his own daughter, he wouldn't mind erasing that too.

San : then what is the point of me leaving serena!

Serena : because you would get to live the life you lived before me, san. When you come back, my father wouldn't exist and you can go back to how you liv-

San : I DON’T WANT A LIFE WITHOUT YOU IN IT ANYMORE!

Serena paused, not knowing what to say. She couldn't let san die because of her, she wanted him to live, she really did. San shifted his gaze to her stomach as he laid his hand on it and whispered, broken

San : and my baby.

Serena shut her eyes tightly, clenching her fists around san's shirt

San : this is our child, rena, and you are the woman I love. I will not let anything happen to the both of you while sitting safe in another country, far away from the both of you. If we die, we die together.

Serena : san please.

San : no, stop. This is my decision, I…I will not leave. If your father is going to kill us, then we mustn't give him the satisfaction of doing so.

Serena : san, what are you saying-

San : he said he'd give us only another one more day. So let's die tonight.

Serena : what?

San stood up hastily, walking towards the edge of the terrace and holding onto the railing. Serena's eyes widened as she ran towards san, holding his arm as she said

Serena : san, what the hell are you doing!

San : if we jump from here, don't you think we'd definitely die?

Serena's teary eyes stared at san in shock as he smiled and said

San : you know what they say about two people who die together while holding hands? They say a string of destiny ties their finger together so that they'd be born to be together in their next life too.

Serena : please, please don’t do this.

San : we don’t have any other choice rena-ya, we're gonna have to die any how.

Serena : our baby.

San : our baby will understand.

Serena : san-

San kneeled down on the floor, placing his hand against her stomach as he whispered

San : won't you, sweetheart? Eomma and appa loves you so much, I wish you'd know that.

Serena cried, bringing her hands to her eyes as her shoulders shook. San kissed her stomach and stood up, wrapping his arms around her as he whispered

San : it's okay, it's going to be alright.

Serena : I hate myself for doing this to you, I've only ever bought you pain san.

San : don’t you dare say that. You were my only source of happiness, rena. And it's been a long time since I've ever been happy.

Serena sobbed, wrapping her arms around his neck as she said

Serena : I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry san I should've been protecting you.

San : it doesn't matter anymore. We can make it better, rena.

Serena : by killing ourselves?

San : there's no other way out, is there?

Serena sniffled and shook her head, tears falling down her eyes.

Serena : I wish things could be different.

San : I wish so too.

Serena leaned forward and connected their lips together, wrapping her fingers around san's neck as tears streamed down her cheeks. San wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her close to him as he closed his eyes as well. San remembered watching movies where the couple would kiss each other desperately, knowing they would die the next second. He had always cried for them, wishing they could've gotten their happy endings as well. He wished they would've chosen someone else to love.

But now he was going through the same thing, and yet he couldn't have wished for anything or anyone else except serena. Even if he had known how they would end, he would still have chosen serena. Over and over again.

He was hers, and she was his.

Serena pulled back, resting her forehead against his as she whispered

Serena : you made my life worth living, san.

San sniffled, resting his head on her shoulder as he whispered

San : I'm sorry I couldn’t protect the both of you. I'm sorry I couldn't be a better father or a better partner to you, rena.

Serena : don't you dare. You're the best father and partner anyone could want. You would've raised our baby so well.

San smiled and pulled back, holding serena's hand as he wiped her tears and said

San : in another life, we both will.

Serena smiled and nodded, standing straight as she looked towards the railing

Serena : together?

San : together.

And so the both of them climbed the railing together, both their hands entangled in each other. The wind blew at them, making serena smile as she said

Serena : I will always love you, san. In this life, and my next.

San : and I will find you in the next life, I promise.

The both of them looked at each other for one last time before jumping together, falling down feets below them. And all the while their hands remained tied together, a smile on both their faces even as their bodies hit the ground with force, blood covering them immediately.

Because for them this wasn't the end, it was only the beginning of a new perfect life.

And the stars in the sky, were witness.

_______________________

[elodiethescribe]

What I expected from the FNAF movie, based off the trailers as well as what patchwork information I know from the games, in no particular order:

(Spoilers ahead, beware!)

At least one scene recreating the first FNAF's gameplay and atmosphere, with Mike in the office watching the cameras and managing the security doors and power while the animatronics recreate their various game poses on the cameras

Vanessa turning out to secretly be the bad guy, or at least have her evil alter ego Vanny pop up

Freddy's Toreador March

Foxy's hallway run

The animatronics to the be able to move quickly and smoothly, much as they do in the games

Matthew Lillard being a fantastic Springtrap, with a lot of suspense building up to his appearance and a brutal, bloody springlock scene

For either the animatronics to terrorize Abby, or for her to befriend them in secret without Mike's knowledge

Onscreen ghost children meaning we actually get to know the kids and their personalities and even their names

For the film to either take itself completely seriously given the horror and tragedy of the game's core concept and its bleak, tense atmosphere, or for the film to pull a M3GAN and go the self-aware dark horror comedy route, leaning fully into the more campy aspect of its concept while still delivering fun scares and an attempt at a genuinely meaningful message

A Markiplier cameo, or at least a nod to "the king of Five Nights at Freddy's"

What I got instead:

Little to no recreation of the original FNAF's gameplay and atmosphere; only the opening scene, the break-in sequence, and the climax really end up "feeling" like FNAF to me, but only in vague bits and pieces

Vanessa actually being a good guy with a surprisingly sympathetic and compelling storyline, even as she suffers from bad writing such as refusing to communicate properly with Mike or still inexplicably going along with Afton's murders despite her obvious horror

Literally no Toreador March despite it being blasted all over the trailers

Foxy inexplicably teleporting down the hallway

Foxy also being the absolutely most gosh-darn adorable of the animatronics

The animatronics portrayed as stiff, slow, heavy, and downright awkward, which makes one wonder how they are fast or sneaky enough to catch and kill nightguards

Matthew Lillard being a fantastic Springtrap, who literally just pops up out of nowhere during the climax with minimal build up, and a rather tame and underwhelming springlock sequence compared to FNAF 3, but my goodness Lillard just straights up eats this role alive and is easily the best part of the film

Mike not only just straight up immediately catching Abby befriending the animatronics, with little to no fanfare from the narrative, but also having a bizarre underreaction to the whole thing, like the very next day he only mildly uncomfortably asks Abby to talk to the giant animatronics possessed by dead kids about their missing brother, as if that's in any way shape or form an actually normal conversation to have

The ghost children/animatronics' story, and the sheer horror and tragedy of it, being shoved aside in favor of Mike's obsession with finding out who abducted his brother, all taking place in boring and repetitive dream sequences in a random forest; except for the Golden Freddy child, none of the other children even speak; Mike talking to the ghost kids and getting to know them, even connecting with them over the loss of his brother (who was even taken by Afton just like them!) could have been a genuinely intriguing and emotional plot, but the narrative doesn't seem to care about the children/animatronics as characters and Mike, for some bizarre reason, doesn't even seem effected by the kids being taken just like Garrett, even when he learns they were all taken by the same man, and it all just ends up feeling completely pointless and tacked on by the film ends

(And I say all this as someone who strongly prefers the fanfic-y "sentient animatronics" over the canon "possessed animatronics")

Finally, a minimal, underwhelming plot with a tone and structure that veered all over the place, letting me feel the sweet, nostalgic feeling of reading a fanfiction written by a teenager who doesn't understand how the real, adult world works: like, why are the goons attacking during the day, the exact time when Mike wouldn't be held accountable since he's off-duty? Why isn't Mike in jail after beating up that dad at his old job? What in the world happened with Aunt Jane's body? Did no one wonder where the heck Max went? Why did Vanessa help Abby and the animatronics build that fort and then immediately threaten to shoot Mike for letting Abby befriend the animatronics? Why does Afton do literally anything he does, especially with the big change-up to the Afton family dynamic? Why does literally no one actually REACT to the fact that the animatronics are possessed and that Abby and Mike can talk to dead people?!

No Markiplier :(

Surprisingly good soundtrack

[excessive-vampires]

Dealing With Demons Chapter 6: Sad as Hell Part 1: Riley

Masterlist with CW

Taglist: @demyxdancer @softvampirewhump @d-cs

Riley decided they needed more information about demons. And about Avi in particular. They couldn't get Avi out of their head no matter how hard they tried to distract themself. Maybe it was their guilt over what had happened to Clara Bolton driving them, maybe it was that they couldn't figure out how to feel about the demon. Either way, they needed to know more.

And without the Bureau's--frustratingly limited--library at their disposal there was only one way to find out what they wanted to know. So Riley made a phone call.

"Hey, Sil... Listen, I need a favor. Can you look something up for me?"

A couple of hours later Riley was standing on the porch of a house, one of the smaller ones in the neighborhood, rehearsing what to say while staring at the immaculately manicured lawn. After a truly embarrassing amount of time, they rang the doorbell.

The door was quickly answered by a thin woman with short straight black hair and dark brown eyes. She looked up at Riley.

"Yes?"

"Clara Bolton, I, um, I'd like to talk with you if I could about—"

"That day. You were there, I remember you."

"Yes, I was one of the agents present during the... incident. But I'm not here in an official capacity, I just..." Riley sighed and met the woman's eyes for the first time. "I need to talk to you."

"Come in." She made room for Riley to walk into the house. They went to the living room and sat down on a large and very comfortable couch. The room was quaint, painted a soft cream color and decorated with pastel blue furniture and picture frames full of happy smiling faces.

"So, what part of that day do you want to talk about?"

"Avi. The demon. The one that, uh, killed you and then brought you back."

Clara folded her arms across her chest and shivered despite the room's warmth. "Yes?"

"When you made your deal with them, what did they tell you?"

"They started off with the fact that there was a man who was going to use a demon to help kill me, then explained that they were also a demon, and could help save me if I was willing to sell my soul to them."

"What did they tell you about what selling your soul means?"

"Well, they said that when I died they would take my soul before it could move on and... what word did they use?"

"Consume?"

"Assimilate it into themself. Then they asked me to choose."

"Your life or your soul."

"Yes. And I chose my life. I just... couldn't picture giving up what I have now if there was another option."

"I see." But they really didn't.

"Y'know, as soon as I got back here I proposed to my girlfriend. It was quite a shock for her, seeing me appear out of nowhere with a stranger and then pop the question. I didn't even have a ring. But I couldn't wait, almost dying gave me some perspective I guess."

"I just... I still can't wrap my head around why you'd make that choice when life is temporary and the soul is eternal."

Clara smiled. "I just figured that no matter what could possibly be next, being here now would be the highlight of my existence."

"And Avi didn't pressure you into it?"

"No. It was mychoice." Her smile faded. "And it was a really really hard choice, but I don't regret it."

"Okay," Riley said thoughtfully. "Thank you Ms. Bolton. That's all I needed to know."

"Wait, Agent..."

"Bishop. Riley Bishop."

"Agent Bishop, did I... did I... am I wrong? Do you know something that makes my choice feel wrong to you?"

Riley froze for a moment. What should they say? The truth? What was the truth? Riley knew what was supposed to happen when someone died. They were supposed to become one with the entire universe. It was natural, poetic even. But here was a woman standing in front of them, alive, happy, in love. She was still alive because of the deal she made, and Riley had never believed any rhetoric about a person's afterlife being more important than what they did when their heart still beat.

"I don't know, Ms. Bolton. I don't think I know much more than you do."

She deflated, but then plastered on a polite smile. "Okay. Thank you. I hope what I could tell you helps."

"It does."

[zeroducks-2]

Man I am so tired of people whose DNI lists include some trait of mine interacting with/following my stuff it’s like having to keep dragging someone’s damn dog out of my yard ‘cause they ain’t bothered to put a fence around theirs. None of these damn puritans takes any responsibility for their own damn lives.

I know anon. It feels like they do it on purpose. I had to block A LOT of people who followed me despite having a big fat "PROSHITTERS DNI" or "BATCEST BLOCKED ON SIGHT" in their bio or intro posts, it's not even funny.

It's already hard with the other way around, with having to check blogs' intro posts and DNIs if I want to follow someone, because it really does happen a lot that they don't want "people like me" in their followers count, and I want to respect that. There's one Batman blog in particular that I have been following for idk around a year? And recently I saw a post of theirs which vehemently told their followers to fuck off if they liked batcest or something along those lines. Again I respected that and fucked off, despite being just a silent follower and not having ever interacted with them.

Add on top of this the fact that antis often follow you, and if you're not careful to block them asap they will also send you hate (according to my personal experience at least) once they realize you are a "nasty proshitter". To those folks that diminish this issue and paint the situation in the light of "both sides are exaggerating", I say, do you realize that these guys send people insults and death threats? That if you're not careful as a creator you might wake up one day with 200 hate notifications in your inbox?

And yes, it does feel like some of them do not take responsibility for their own lives, and in some cases it's because it's not true that they don't want "proshippers" to interact with them - they even get pissed when their DNIs get religiously respected! - they want to pick a fight and play the part of the "concerned for the children", pearl-clutchy angel of righteousness while telling artists and writers to kill themselves over an artwork they consider immoral. That's how they get their emotional supply, and that's why I immediately block them if I see them following me: either they want to pick a fight and that is why they followed me, or they didn't realize what they were doing and they WILL get triggered over my content, so I'm doing both them and myself a favor.

But yes, it is tiring and very frustrating. I started this blog out wanting nothing to do with fandom discourse and the likes, but it kind of slaps you in the face whether you want to deal with it or not, doesn't it. Especially if you are a creator but even if you're just sitting there reblogging and commenting the things you like.

[olderthannetfic]

“she never once mentioned my looks either positively or negatively. (I asked her about the latter, and she said it’s something she’d decided on before having me.)”

I’m a little uncertain about the implication of this. It comes off to me that your mom had an atypical amount of power over your appearance?

“If you want to raise a strong person, you give a kid unconditional love, clear boundaries, and a sense of stability.”

Realistically, what is the limit to this? When you say “unconditional love” do you mean it like a practice that is particularly relevant to a kid’s formative years in order to build a solid emotional foundation for them? Or does that practice extend into the future?

I mean, I think most parents experience a base “love” connection to their child in an instinctive way that they can’t control. It could probably be destroyed if they really tried, but it’s difficult.

And on top of that, there’s also a more surface-level love that is more easily observed, and it’s something that the parent has conscious control over. This surface-level love is more prevalent and it’s the kind of thing that’s easier to treat as conditional.

So, what does a parent do with their personal philosophy if the child becomes something that they are genuinely ashamed of? Like, what if the kid has an untreatable disorder that makes them go around killing animals and torturing other kids? What if the kid becomes a pre-teen and shoots up a school?

Wouldn’t that force some kind of revision to this self-imposed obligation to unconditional love?

Also, how do you define stability? Would that be consistency in the home? Wouldn’t raising a child with ideals that contradict the version of reality that’s favored by wealthier and more powerful groups cause a sense of instability?

--

Uh. Anon, I'm honestly not sure what part of "She didn't mention it" was unclear. She did not say words about my physical appearance.

Kinda seems like you're projecting and looking for ways to misread some pretty basic words of English.

--

My mother might say "You need to wear something fancier for this occasion", but she did not call me pretty or ugly or comment on my body. This was because she had observed how much people talking about their kids' physical looks fucks the kids up regardless of whether it's positive or negative commentary. If you want to train your kid not to value themself and others based on looks, then don't talk about looks.

It came up because a (deeply fucked up) friend was horrified that my mother didn't tell me I was pretty.

--

I was indeed talking about a kid's formative years. But also, unconditional love does not mean never being mad at someone over their behavior. It's more about treating them as a valid person just because they are a person and not tying that to any particular hoop they need to jump through.

One of the more important parts in demonstrating said love is acting interested in what your kid thinks and feels: letting them know you're around if they want to talk, answering questions even if they're embarrassing or hard to answer, etc. This doesn't just go for asking heavy questions either: my mother made time to hang out with me and was genuinely interested in my intellectual thoughts and what I had to say about books I was reading or something I'd read in school or whatever. She didn't need to tell me she valued me because she showed it. And she actually had some clue who I was as a person because she made the time to listen. She was highly verbal, like me. I suppose if you're much less verbal people, then doing a hobby together would somewhat take the place of talking like this, though I still think it's important to actually say in words what you think and feel because that's the best way to understand the inside of someone else's head. But either way, making time for someone is the most important part.

Love does not mean tolerance of bad behavior. If your kid is dangerous, you get them help, and you tell them you still love them but you don't want them to hurt people. You tell them it's not a punishment. They may not believe you, of course, but one can't control everything in life.

Love is about valuing them as a person. It's not about blindly saying "yes" to everything they think, say, or do.

--

Stability is about having a home and household that is more or less organized and that has fairly stable routines as opposed to one that's always in a state of chaos. Kids like to know when you'll be home, that they're going to get dinner tonight, whether you'll be having randos over to the house, what you expect of them and what the rules are, etc. If you're taking them on a trip or if you have to move, you at least communicate that clearly ahead of time. Springing sudden surprises on kids tends to make them feel uncertain. They like to know where they stand.

It has nothing to do with ideals or whether your philosophy matches the dominant culture's.

[the-blazing-light]

🖊 ALSO SOME RAZORSONG RAMBLING and i'll remember to go anon this time (@commanderhorncleaver)

SO RAZORSONG, my beloved shady bastard

Razorsong is a Preceptor in Order of Whispers, the highest ranking members besides the enigmatic Master of Whispers, and as such he holds a large amount of power and control within the Order, and most younger members of the Order don't even know the time Razorsong wasn't a Preceptor, the old charr has been holding the position for a very long time. No one even within the Order knows his real name either, like he just appeared out of nowhere one day, any records of who he was before the Order erased and gone.

Razorsong used his position to entertain his interest in occult and dangerous magic, gathering rare ancient artifacts into his personal collection, some for genuine research, some for his own amusement, eventually gaining a particular interests in the Mists and all the magic, anomalies and creatures tied to them.

That lead Razorsong to eventually, with the help of an ancient spell found in one of his treasured grimoires, find and bind a Mists Demon to his will and harness its power, essentially leashing the creature to Razorsong, a dangerous affair, but one he succeeded in, allowing him to pass through the Mists and unleash the demonic powers on his own whim.

Additionally he has a tendency to pick up promising Whispers agents under his wing for mentorship and work, he was actually the one to take Arren into Whispers after his fiasco in the Ash Legion and save his life that way as he saw potential in him, and right now his protege, and chained attack dog as some might say, is Axel Mindcrusher, an incredibly powerful chronomancer whose abilities Razorsong got interested in, helping him train and get better and give him special priviledges within the Order for exchange of him working in Razorsong's interests.

Now, to lift up some mystery around him, before Whispers Razorsong was an Ash Legion soldier named Decimus Lightstrike. Born sickly and weak, it was doubted he'd even be able to go through the Fahrar, something Decimus managed to do with sheer stubbornness, and with the decision to lean into magical training to compensate for his lack of physical strength, something he turned out to have a talent in, gaining quite an ambition that eventually led him to work with some Flame Legion shamans, feeding them Ash intel in exchange for their magical knowledge and an opportunity to eventually join in Flame, where they said he'd be able to become a high-ranking Shaman with his abilities. That didn't come to pass though, as he was uncovered and was going to face the tribunal. That wouldn't come either, as panicing Decimus would end up killing his warband and running, all except one survivor, his former partner and legionnaire, Asriel Lightwill.

He ended up going back to the Flame Shaman that he was working with, who never actually planned to let him join, just using the charr's ambitions for his own gain. That obviously enraged Lightstrike, showing the Shaman just how much he has learned from him, a show of force the Shaman wouldn't survive.

After that, he ended up on the run for a while, skulking around Kryta in hiding before eventually running into some Whispers Agents and doing a couple of odd jobs for them, impressing them with his magical power and knowledge, resulting in him joining in with the Order, taking on a new name and eventually, through favors, manipulations and covert operations wiping all records of who he was beforehand, rising to power as the enigmatic preceptor, Razorsong. The only person who remembers him from before is his surviving bandmate, Asriel, who remained an Ash free agent after becoming a gladium and getting injured in that incident, but he's far away from Razorsong now.

[unohanadaydreams]

I read online somewhere that Kubo didn't intend for Mayuri to survive to the end of Bleach and that he and Ishida were meant to have more fights before Ishida ultimately killed him. I can't help but wonder when that changed.

I would believe that, since Kubo went out of his way to have Mayuri rescue Uryu in Hueco Mundo (which comes off weird af when they interact not at all in TYBW and the interaction itself devolves into comedy salad).

Mayuri against Giselle is also so weak outside of them just being fun characters to see interact. I don’t buy Mayuri as being any less horrible than Giselle (despite Kubo’s lame cock sniffing efforts and trying to show Giselle as a Worse SS Arc Mayuri). The efforts to make him seem admirable fail unless your definition is just ‘wow how great he didn’t wanna see the world end’.

Not sure when it changed exactly, but it’s clear there was a shift towards the end of the fullbringer arc. The shinigami come in. They save Ichigo. They’re our final allies and lens for the upcoming TYBW. We are no longer giving a shit about the culpability of Gotei 13. They now have the ultimate right: either you support them or you support destroying the world. (This happened to a lesser extent when Mayuri saved Uryu and no confrontation happened.)

Ginjo’s ire was diminished to ‘isn’t it fucked up they’ve been listening to you’ RIGHT before the shinigami start talk about their intent to kill Ichigo if he showed any waver in faith towards them. The timing of Ichigo’s salvation, too, seems awfully convenient for Yhwach’s timeline (Yamamoto has kept that simmering under his beard for 1000 years, for sure). This wouldn’t be the first time Rukia wanted to save Ichigo and Yamamoto let it happen bc it lined up with an agenda.

To me the end of Uryu vs Mayuri is the end of the Soul Society being viewed as an entity that needs to be changed. Everything about change in the fullbringer arc is fucking lip service. We get three novels of how fucked things still are via CFYOW after the manga.

It makes me wonder if that was something that was fought about internally, since the shinigami are by far the most popular part of Bleach (which makes sense since they were by far the most well introduced and written).

Uryu joining the Sternritter solely as a convoluted plan to kill Yhwach doesn’t work as well imo as him joining because he’s promised a shot at the guy who bragged with photo evidence about torturing and killing his grandfather—the one adult who treated Uryu like he was a person and not a burden after his mother died—as well as Quincy at large. It can not be over stated that Mayuri was not doing this against orders

Uryu has plenty of reason to hate SS and Mayuri in particular and he’s a guy who feels pretty strongly. He likes to have the last line.

The fact that the text refuses to engage with WHY Uryu wouldn’t support the Seireitei is fucking insane. It’s right there!!!! It’s so clear!!!

It’s just weird to me that Kubo shoddily slapping some nazi imagery on the Sternritter really did make ppl go en masse ‘what Quincy genocide’.

Like Seireitei has done everything Yhwach did except try to kill the Soul King (that we know of).

Mayuri vs Uryu would have fucked. Nemu turning into an independent being and having to deal with possibly being ousted from her division now that Mayuri isn’t there to insist she stays/proving she is fully a shinigami would have fucked. Uryu finally returning the favor to a woman who has been codependent her entire life WOULD HAVE FUCKED.

I heavily enjoy seeing what we got in TYBW as far as Mayuri goes because I love him as a character and I’ll take literally anything. But story wise, yeah. Mayuri vs Uryu would have been so cool.

[summercreolefanfictioner]

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect their partner? How would they like to be protected?)

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

for Maya

sfw alphabet ask memes

P = Patience

Maya has, without a doubt, a patience of a saint. Like bruh, imagine getting married to the most hysterical and tantrum-throwing Sakamaki brat named Kanato. Though to be fair, she doesn't lash out at people when things don't go her way. But she tries to turn the situation in her favor (especially if it's a situation with Kanato in it).

The time her patience runs thin is only when Kanato gets "emotionally constipated" like he freaking insists he's right when he's wrong. Like this one time when they aren't still officially married and someone asked Maya abt it and she was just like quiet?? so Kanato thought she didn't like having a relationship with him. It goes like this:

Kanato: "You said you like me, so why didn't you say something when they asked you if we are married, huh?! You should've said yes!"

Maya: "But... we are not really married."

And yes, no person has dared Maya to speak higher than her regular voice other than him.

istg this idiot couple

S = Security

Here's the thing. Idk if this would make Maya a yandere, but I researched that there are so many forms of yandere and there are yanders out there who don't really do any killing like the mainstream yandere?

So yeah, Maya might be one. Like she can harm people who dare harm her loved ones.

With her relationship with Kanato, she has never been to a point where she has to fully protect him from their enemies since Kanato doesn't mostly go with her during her missions.

Maybe her going to his dreams and eradicating his nightmares could count. After all, Kanato is prone to nightmares, so Maya always goes to the dream world to relieve him of his nightmares.

When it comes to being protected by him, well she doesn't have a particular preference?? Like Kanato just goes to protect her because she is his wife.

V = Vanity

Hmm this one's quite hard. It's not like Maya is vain, but she doesn't want to look bad either. She always makes sure she looks neat and clean so no one would try making fun of her looks.

Like there's a plethora of anxiety and overthinking thoughts that convince her someone will bully her if they saw her disheveled hair or poor hygiene or anything that would relate to her appearance.

but if they do, she'll just murder them

[vaxanova]

That’s Where I Am

{Chapter 1}

Pairing: Nancy Wheeler x Robin Buckley

Genre: Werewolf Robin AU, Hunter Nancy AU, Found Family

Rating: Teen

Read on AO3

Nancy Wheeler had not been sent to a sleepy little town in Indiana to track paw prints left behind in muddy woods. Rather, she had been directly instructed to avoid such temptations if they were to cross her path.

But what was she to do when she caught whiff of a gruesome, unexplained, murder but whip out her notepad and start investigating? The hushed information passed to her by locals had led her to the far side of town, examining the border of the dense wooded area for signs of disturbance.

The further she ventured into the depths of the forest, the more she experienced the gnawing feeling that she was being watched. Though years of being employed through the Upside Down Association could make one paranoid. The organization focused on tracking and subduing the threat of the supernatural in the mortal world and smothering any evidence left behind.

Nancy had been eager to join when the opportunity presented itself. Not so much for ridding the world of evil, but for the knowledge she would be exposed to. The narrative that accompanied the witness of an otherworldly occurrence. She carried several journals, overflowing with recounted stories, newspaper clippings, and other mementos she had collected.

Her latest journal held the most extensive account of them all. The evidence towards an unidentified werewolf. Tawny fur, smaller than average paw print size, no connected kills.

She reached a clearing in the trees, surveying her surroundings. The hair on the back of her neck tingled as the crunching of nearby leaves penetrated the silence. She gripped her shotgun closer to her body, readying herself to use the weapon. It had become a favored choice of hers due to the ease she could play it off as a hunting tool. Though she had the notion that she was not going to run into anything human in this place.

She spun around to face the direction of the noise, eyes darting frantically between the trunks of the thick trees in the quickly dimming daylight. “I know you’re there! Why don’t you come out before your transformation starts.”

She risked a glance up to track the setting of the sun. The moon would be rising in near minutes. “I know who you are–what you are. Though I don’t know why it is you’ve been following me. I can’t locate any evidence of killings associated with you. So what’s your endgame?”

She swallowed in the reverberating silence, her ears straining for signs of movement.

“You can hide until the sun sets and the moon shines, but I’ll just hunt you down either way.”

She took slow, controlled breaths as she slowly pivoted herself in a circle. She was confident this was the same werewolf she had been taunted by in three previous towns. She swore she could sense it, that it had some sort of specific frequency that was attuned to Nancy. The chase was intoxicating.

She finally heard the long-anticipated crunching of dry leaves as darkness started to wash over the landscape. Staggered, more prominent this time, and accompanied by a vicious snarl.

“Shit.” She whispered to herself, aiming the shotgun and taking a wild shot. She stumbled backwards, cursing under her breath when she received no wounded noise in return. Instead, she was greeted by a howl, sung to the night sky.

***

“I swear it was the same wolf!” Nancy stood, dirty and exhausted, hunched over a well-worn table. Her hands bracketed a slew of case files that she had accumulated for her current (personal) target. The trouble with hunting werewolves was the limited time frame they had to act. Wolfs didn’t have any glaringly obvious tells like other monsters did in their human forms. You had to get close, examine mannerisms and habits.

She had deduced it was some sort of nomadic being (not much unlike herself, van life!) Could it really be a coincidence she had run into this particular creature so many times before? She had never encountered the same supernatural being by mistake. She felt mildly like she was the one being hunted.

“I hear you, Nance.” Jonathan Byers, certified Monster Slayer and Nancy’s longtime hunting partner, stood leaning back against the table. He was lazily flicking darts at the opposite wall. He didn’t miss a single bullseye. “But don’t you think this little, ehem, pet project may be getting in the way of our actual assigned target?”

“You’re starting to sound like Hopper,” she glared up at him. Nancy straightened herself up, shuffling her papers together. “I thought you were supposed to be on my side.”

“Oh hey–I am on your side!” He protested, turning himself towards her. “Which also means, I have your health in mind. I can’t defend your honor if you go get mauled by some elusive werewolf that’s clearly got a thing for you.”

“It doesn’t–I don’t…” She frowned, holding the papers close to her chest. “It does not have a thing for me!”

“Then you’ve got a thing for it?”

“Jonathan!” She scoffed, smacking him with her papers and strutting across to her temporary bedroom. The Association had set them up with a modest apartment to conduct their investigation from. Mismatched furniture, dart boards tacked to one wall (surrounded by lots of puncture holes in the paint), the echoing of a room bare of knick knacks and clutter.

“All I’m saying is,” he let out an exasperated laugh from across the space. “Kill the thing before it has the chance to kill you.”

***

“You look like crap, where’d you go last night?” The boy with the voluptuous hair, manager of Scoops Diner, roommate to Robin Buckley asked. He sidled up next to her and leaned his elbows on the counter top, surveying the sleepy booths in front of them.

“Oh Steve,” she drawled, smiling at nothing in particular. “My girlfriend is in town, and boy, is she happy to see me.”

[alvcrd]

🌙 s𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬.

tagged by: @cicatriicem ty! tagging: @lunarscaled @judaspriested @monstriiss @ofwitchery @blccdsucker @malxshrine @hhemeraa @sosordid @mellodiies

what does your muse smell like? Alucard isn't really a physical entity persay so I like to think that he takes on the smell of what he consumes/is around him. After a fight or feed? He would smell like gunpowder and the metallic tang of blood. Just resting at the manor he might smell like red wine if he's drinking it or even nothing at all! He can't really get musty because he doesn't sweat or produce bodily odors like a human does, and he prefers to not really bother with fragrances too often because they are WAY too strong for his heightened sense of smell.

what do your muse’s hands feel like? Cold. He wears gloves nearly all the time, so his hands are rather soft. The backs of his palms possess his seals, the same as his gloves except they are literally burned into his skin. Fingers are long, a little bony and tipped in slightly pointed nails.

what does your muse usually eat in a day? So I made a headcanon about this in the past, but Alucard generally has an allotment of around 5 blood bags a day. For Integra, it's a fine line because as powerful as he is he requires a substantial amount of blood to remain healthy, but too much would make him far too powerful. It also seems that Alucard is allowed to indulge as much as he wants before a big fight, since before he went to kill Rip Van Winkle, there's a scene in the manga where he is SURROUNDED by empty blood bags. Furthermore, he isn't opposed to stealing blood from either humans or other vampires while out on a job, as seen during the Rio massacre so I guess the true answer is 'it depends.'

does your muse have a good singing voice? You know this isn't really something I've explored; I'd love to say yes but I'm leaning towards more of an average voice.

does your muse have any bad habits or nervous ticks? He does have his fair share of bad habits; being nosy, no concept of personal space, being blunt to the point of being a dick, but I can't say Alucard has any nervous ticks.

what does your muse usually look like / wear? Alucard can look however he wants! He can take any shape/form/gender, but his default look is his long scrawny body type with mid-back length hair, the black suit and red duster coat. Don't forget the reflective glasses and wide brimmed hat! A look I like to call the carmen sandiego, but it's actually copied from the look Integra's grandfather wore the day he defeated Alucard. He's not particular with clothes, and might only modify what he wears to suit a specific purpose such as blending in with humans as seen with the suit in Rio or to fight such as the leather body suit seen during several battles.

is your muse affectionate? how much? how so? The broad answer to this would be no, but that's not true with specific cases. Alucard does show affection to Integra and Seras, and to his past lover Mina; but generally Alucard isn't the type to do romance, to cuddle or show much outward affection. On rare occasions he does it's almost always in private and with small gestures such as doing little favors for those he cares about, the softening of his expression, inviting them in to spend time around him.

what position does your muse sleep in? Alucard generally falls asleep in his chair, legs crossed and hands either folded in his lap or being used to lean his head against. Rarely does he sleep in his coffin, if only for regenerative purposes. When he's in the coffin he obviously sleeps on his back or just becomes an amorphous blob of black miasma that fills it.

could you hear your muse in the hallway from another room? It depends. His voice has a baritone to it that can probably be heard in a muffled way, but when generally speaking his volume is more on the low side. He doesn't mumble and speaks clearly, but he only raises his voice when angry or excited. When he's loud he's LOUD, and would clearly be able to be heard several rooms over.

[imperial-nuisance-rudje]

I have had people responding to a Twitter post I made acting like I am either oblivious to what has happened in-text or that I want Zenos to be not an asshole and it makes me want to shake them

(Spoilery ranting about EW things under the cut)

I made that post bc I think the plot twist with Zero is fucking boring! It strips potential complexity and Good Drama from her and the rest of the writing either doesn't go into it enough (because let's be real she is weirdly chill with having her will stripped away from her) or doesn't acknowledge that Fandanny is very much the reason Zenos had the ability to do that in the first place (at least in English, I know fandanny gets mentioned more in other translations (which, can we discuss how fucking weird it is that the clown, a major antagonist for EW, is being glossed over this hard in favor of Zenos, who was for much of 6.0 a glorified side character despite his buildup in 5.x? I fucking hate it, on both counts))! Having the contract be mutual and having Zenos just be the shittiest client known to Voidsent is just way more interesting for everyone involved, because he's still a trash man but in a way that isn't boring stereotypied villain behavior that sends me to sleep and it means the Scions have to grapple with Zero knowingly harming people even if she had no malice behind it!

Like, I'm already not happy that Zero seems to be heading down the path of either having all her interesting traits sanded off to make her more universally appealing or getting the axe (I think the former is more likely due to the power of being in marketing material, but who knows given that this is the ff4 expac and Zeromus is a thing/historical problems 14 has had with introducing characters to kill them off the same expac), but that one thing in particular (combined with making her a normal person, fuck you guys I wanted a fucked up monster girl, I am aware of the writing justification for it and i think it is the realm of COWARDS) I think should have been a warning for how they would handle her and it displeases me that she's going down the way that signaled in the end, especially since a lot of the other Scions have had the sanding issue happen to them as well.

Idk, I just get annoyed when people see a very specific complaint and think it means "oh we want our villain woobified" instead of "I have found many aspects of how they handled these two narratively dissatisfying and it's only gotten worse with time, here is my take on probably the biggest with the most knock-on problems", or that it means I'm being misogynist about zero when my frustration with zero is that the writers keep swerving away from narrative complexity with her and have consistently chosen to not offer any novel insight to Zenos with her criticisms of him—"Zenos bad" is boring and uninteresting after the first time (where it at least gives info about Zero herself) and the English translation veering away from 6.3's "Zenos and Fandaniel are very alike in how they perceive the world" in favor of more "Zenos bad" is particularly frustrating bc it removes relatively novel info about why they could have been drawn to work with each other for no reason except a Zenos hateboner, as far as I can tell (literally, Fandaniel gets a full namedrop in every other version of that line, it's not like the translators didn't know he was included).

Turns out when you strongly bind two characters together, boring choices for one tends to negatively affect the other too! God. I'm just, so tired of people deliberately reading my fucking lukewarm at most "character writing in 6.x suffers from the scale it is trying to handle in the space it is given" takes in the most negative fashion possible.