#its not any worse or ..less worse? or anything than the average experience with this ig..just different. different dynamics involved

[vacant2007]

tries to interact with people who havent experienced some variation of the same trauma as me and realizes that for them its always just going to be sort of weird or awkward or a drag to be around. lonely feeling..

[felassan]

I was sent a link to a ‘chat with Mark Darrah' interview video that I hadn’t seen before. [here is the source] link. the interview took place in 2022, so bear that in mind when listening, but it still has interesting insights and things in there.

the rest of this post is under a cut due to length.

this post is just some brief notes and a few transcribed quotes of interest from the video.

Mark ofc was in charge of DA:O, DAII, & DA:I, then, quote, “then a bunch of malarkey happened” and he ended up in charge of Anthem in 2017 in its final ~16 months

In AAA games narrative is a certain thing that was very much defined in a lot of ways by BioWare

There’s a BioWare story in Anthem (though certainly not its best), if you just ignore everything else

The average gamer puts way too much stock into what engine is used to make a game

Mark is pretty sure that the guts of Neverwinter Nights is underneath the Witcher engine

Moving DA from Aurora to Eclipse to Frostbite (engines) opened up more possibility spaces

Frostbite stagnated because it essentially was the engine everyone had to use at EA

Before DA:I, there was a game at BioWare internally codenamed “Blackfoot”. It was going to be a multiplayer DA game and was using Frostbite before DA:O, during the time of DAII’s late development but before DA:I started development. It never shipped as it got eaten by DA:I

For the MET, Casey was originally trying to make a Star Control-type game but cinematic. Echoes of this can be seen in ME1. But ME the IP itself wants to be a space opera. Ultimately the cinematic experience side of it won out

And some specific quotes:

“Something that I noticed is that, sometimes, if your studio is hiring only your biggest fans, which I saw at BioWare sometimes, those people are in some ways, they’re almost more, they have more zealotry towards the ‘old way’ of doing things than – that’s right, that [from a fandom point of view] is all they know. And they don’t necessarily know that this was awful or that ‘there could have been a better way, we just didn’t see it until later’. All they know is, ‘this is what you did, and you made this thing I love, so we have to do that too’, and, so that’s a danger that could happen is, you get the, you know the monkeys and the bananas, like, ‘I don’t even know why we’re doing this anymore, but I know we’ve always done it.’”

-

“The biggest reason to consolidate on an engine is for the ability to share more work within your studio. In theory.” “The problem that often happens is that you end up with not nearly as much sharing as you would imagine. FIFA doesn’t share anything with DA. And in BioWare’s case it’s even worse than that, there’s very little sharing between DA:I and ME:A, and between ME:A and Anthem. A lot of troubles ME:A and Anthem had is [because of] not building upon the foundations of DA:I.”

-

“My great frustration of BioWare from around 2013 to basically today [2022], there wasn’t a building upon the past.” “30% of DA:I’s tech budget was spent on tooling. On ME:A they didn’t build upon the tools that were laid by DA:I, partially because they started before DA:I shipped, but also for ‘Not Build Here’ reasons. They spent 10-15% approximately of their budget on tools. Anthem didn’t build on either of these foundations and they spent about less than 10% of their budget on tools. So it was like they were going backwards, respecting the engine less and less as they went forward, resulting in more and more struggles happening.” “I have the most sarcastic PowerPoint presentation ever which compares those two games, which are treated as if they’re widely different things. They’re pretty much exactly the same game, from the perspective of any external observer. ME is more like DA than it is like anything else. So it’s ridiculous. The answer is hubris, is the answer.”

-

On endings and the future:

“I think you have to do something [about the endings]. ME was always conceived as being a trilogy, but I think what you actually end up with with ME1-3, if you kind’ve just stick them together into one ridiculously big game, that’s why it, in some ways, the complaints about the original ME3 ending are so hilarious because in a way, the game ME3 is the ending for this entire huge game, which isn’t awesome, because you know, the last Hobbit movie is also stupid because it’s all ending. So, that’s not necessarily the best, but that’s essentially what you have. So because it was intended as a trilogy, it, to some kind of degree it kind of takes its ball and goes home at the end, where its like, ‘I’m gonna render the possibility of a direct sequel to this sooo nearly impossible that it’s ludicrous’. It could be that, so we know that the Mass Relays are down, that’s also true, but, like, we have potentially, everyone’s a cyborg, potentially there are no robots, potentially, potentially, potentially, it’s bananas. But interestingly, if you look at ME1, ME2 and ME3 as a single game, and then you look at DA:O, DA:O was always, was originally envisioned as a standalone game. There was never even a consideration for a sequel made for that. If you look at DA:O and then look at what it does at its ending, so the ending of the game itself is fairly tight, it’s like, well you definitely have to kill the Arch Demon, and you’ve ended the Blight, but then you go through the end credits stuff, the epilogue screens. And it’s like, maybe there’s a civil war happening in Orzammar, maybe there are werewolves spreading across this entire part of Ferelden, maybe there are no werewolves at all. Like it’s similar. Now what DA, the way that DA approached the solution to that was to canonize some of those choices, but for the most part just move away, far enough physically, so it’s like, okay, well maybe there are werewolves down south there, that’s not my problem, I got my own problems. Or it moves through time, which is one of the reasons why DA2 moves through so much time is, it gives distance from DA:O. One of the major reasons why ME:A is literally hundreds of years in the future and in another galaxy, it’s like, okay, well, something happened, [shrug], we can react if we want to but we don’t have to worry about the consequences. DA has had the same problem that ME had, just to a lesser degree. DA:O did such a great job of building up the Warden that people are really attached to that and they keep wanting to see the Warden come back. People are never gonna let go of Shepard. DA, new player characters every time because it allows things to be done, but there are costs to that, if you don’t have nearly the [same] attachment. I mean, there’s a reason why every single Zelda game starts with you as Link getting bonked on the head. They’ve essentially solved the problem, reset button, either you have amnesia or you’re like the great-great-great-great-grandson. So it’s like, maybe there’s a way that they can do something like that, but Zelda’s jumped through a lot of hoops that probably a modern game can’t be allowed to do. You’re “Link”, so maybe there’s a way that you can be Shepard but, but Shepard, you can be “Shepard”, maybe there’s a way you can do that, but yeah, it’ll be interesting, it’s definitely a problem that they have. Because certainly, Ryder from ME:A is not the same character, nor could any character from a single game compete with a character from three games. Maybe the approach is, you canonize the choices from MET and you say, ‘and the choice we’re making is, Shepard made it, and you’re Shepard. [shrug]”

-

“I think there is a lot of DNA of its older games still at BioWare, but you’re right. Every game needs to be a game in its moment. It needs to be appropriate to the time and space of what’s going on. So, I get it, you kind of just want to feel the thing you felt when you played ME2 or feel the thing you felt when you played DA:O.” “If suddenly you got an ME2 again magically appearing out of the ether, I don’t think it would be received the same way. The industry isn’t in the same place. BioWare needs to set a new bar.” “The sad truth is, the older you get, the less relevant a part of the buying demographic you are. So the reality is, I mean ME:A had a shaky launch unfortunately, but it’s a lot of peoples’ favorite ME. Mostof those people who it is their favorite ME are younger people because it targets, you know, it’s got a younger PC, it’s got a stronger, more. I mean, the MET is very much, Shepard is a hero from action movies from the 80s and 90s, for millennials. He’s stoic. Whereas Ryder is definitely, he’s much more a protagonist from a CW show. The reality is is that, sorry, but they’re not trying to make it for you anymore.”

[source and full watch link where you can check it out]

[ravenkinnie]

'what archetypes do these characters fit' >>> 'what is their purpose in the story, what is the function that their motivations and actions are meant to serve' is fr really the best way to approach character discussions in arcane and i wish every part of fandom understood this.

like i remember when i was on arcanetwt (which is months ago. maybe the place changed recently idk) ppl obsess over the characters' morality or just clearly perceive them based on morality and it creates the most reductive takes ive seen of silco jinx vi and all the chars really.

lets see whether or not that changes in s2 lmao

tbh arcane fandom especially on twitter tends to either skew younger or be 30 year olds desperate for those 19 year olds to form personality cults around them. so you have people who either are YA demographic or just aged out or simply never graduated to adult media by choice. and also many people probably have to pop a ritalin to read anything longer than 280 characters cause none of us have an attention span anymore so you have an absolutely asinine environment to have any conversation in

and this isn't me shitting on YA as a genre, this is me saying you expect younger people to have more black and white thinking in how they approach the world, other people, and themselves so YA tends to be much more focused on those dichotomies, on the good vs evil divides and less so on asking open-ended questions

the way people talk about media literacy you would think it's an inborn thing but that's absolutely nor the case, an innate thing is your ability to engage in a narrative and feel a story emotionally but understanding a story is a different skill, it develops over time and experience. language of media is its own language, it's centuries of a cultural code and symbols that you will learn eventually if you engage in varied forms of media but you are going to have some stupid ass takes along the way

arcane has this very fast pacing and snappy voicy dialogue that appeals to that demographic but, while it's not like so complex an average human with an adult brain won't understand it, its somewhat more complex in themes and characterisation than you would expect from that YA/NA skewing story. like that's the fun part about stories and about people, no one is that simple. the worst person you know probably has a wife that would die for them and you just cannot comprehend how the fuck that's possible. so you go and write a book about it, that's how it works

I think season 2 will make people worse because vi will be a cop </3 which yeah league has been cribge about it over the years but by now its also kind of the point of her character </3

[leesalchemybook]

sometimes I remember how some individuals in the bts fanart community bullied me pretty intensely back on my bts twitter days.

(its been at least a few years now. I forget how long it's been) sometimes I still consider posting my screeenshot proofs of it and exposing them. but that was so long ago now, it's probably pointless. if they didn't stop, I was prepared to. but a friend I had at the time confronted them (after I told her not to) but it seemed to have helped and they and they didn't bother me after that. but I never got answers for why they were doing it

but it still pisses me off that they were "popular" and had a few thousand followers and everyone loved them and many other artists kissed their asses and tried to be part of their little popular clique (probably to feed off their popularity)

but for some reason when I was being genuine and wanted to be real friends and work on a collab for fun and was nothing but nice to everyone, I got bullied so bad that even other people in the collab pointed it out at first. i was blamed for it all even though it was obvious i did nothing wrong and they were the wrong ones. I even have screenshots to prove it. (I am missing some stuff, though, which is one reason I didn't post. I could have made them look so much worse if I managed to get everything haha but i didn't realize what was happening soon enough)

I was so confused. i'm STILL confused. was there a reason for the sudden bullying? or are they just nasty people that like to pick on small artists and get away with it because no one cares about me or will ever believe me? either way, I hope their art dreams never come true and they hurt their drawing hand many times.

some of the bts fanartists had such nasty attitudes and interacting with them made me wonder why people loved them so much. some artists acted so snobby, arrogant, and unfriendly.

some would whine and complain about wanting attention/friends/interactions but ignore me, act annoyed, not reciprocate. or tell me they don't want to talk, but then go right back to complaining they want friends and people to talk to a minute later. most wouldn't follow back if you weren't a big popular account or tell me they have ridiculous requirements I had to meet or they'd unfollow. but would always be begging for more mutuals.

some would post they're open to helping be a second pair of eyes to review your art, but only gave me destructive criticism and told me to "practice more so you can be as good as me" but they always ended up only being artists for 3-5 years vs my 20+ so they have nothing on me. I have practiced art longer than they've been alive!!!! but they still think they're superior and male it a competitive instead of actually being helpful like they claimed they wanted to be. I never got any real advice and they thought they had an attitude of being too good and perfect for me. sometimes I even got unsolicited destructive advice on art I was proud of and liked.

one annoying thing was many would whine about only getting a few thousand likes on their art and ask for more, or require me to interact with all their posts in order to be mutuals (I literally had one tell me they will be mutuals but if i dont interact with all their tweets daily they will unfollow) BUT THEY NEVER INTERACTED WITH A SINGLE ONE OF MY TWEETS. I had to give them all the attention, but they didn't give anything back in return at all. people like that are so gross and nasty, but they somehow tricked everyone into thinking they were so perfect and sweet and friendly.

and all these people didn't even have art that was that great. like it was kind of average imo, compared to other stuff i see. they started as smaller accounts that didn't have impressive art so I wanted to support them as they grew and got better. small artist solidarity. supporting newer artists who have 10-15 years less experience than me. but they all acted like such elitist snobs towards me.

and no matter how many times I post about it, no one ever confesses to experiencing the same treatment in the bts fanartist community!!!!! (or online art communities in general. i've never had any solidarity) makes me feel so shitty because I seem to be the only one that was treated horribly by other artists and bullied and unable to make many art friends/mutuals compared to the snobby shitheads that bullied me who somehow tricked everyone into loving them!! and all the people who supported them "the correct way" so they didn't get bullied and got to be added to the snobby elitist cliques.

still waiting for the day someone comes to me with stories of their own so I don't feel so alone 😅

to end this here's a reminder: art isnt a competition. we should all support each other and encourage each other and see each other as equals. share each other's art. boost each other up. work together. be friends. give constructive criticism only when asked, never destructive. don't act better than others. don't beg for attention and then refuse to give in return. a reblog/retweet/etc is very valuable even if you don't know how to share words. be kind and have fun!

[kobblefort]

Blackfaint: Origins 1

The Hill of Scars is wide, its western half already filled to the brim with settlements of all kinds - humans, kobolds, Stella elves, lapines and even dwarves. Its most fertile and welcoming lands have been snatched up long ago, and so anyone who wishes to strike out has only the barren eastern plains and dunes left to them. You can barely see it amidst all the outposts, fortresses, towns and cities and hamlets and villages, but the yellow square east of the Gulf of Mastery's inlet and just south of the river marks a new one; or at least, an attempt at one. Caring not how close they set out to either the humans' tower to the west or the kobold fort Ripekills to the east, a new outpost is established by a small group that broke off from their larger one.

From The Nightmare of Tunneling comes yet another little group of outcasts: The Seducer of Dimpling, settling the little patch of terrifying untamed wilds they will call Vrikrokoki: "Blackfaint."

As you might notice, we got started early. I had to hack the "Additional Races: Ratfolk" mod from the Steam Workshop myself to make them playable, and unfortunately, this for some reason means I can't set any nobles and administrators. I tried a few times, but it's no good - I think I fixed the problem, but I would need to generate a whole new world to fix it, and after all the time I've put into this one already we are not doing that. So we head straight in, where before anything else...

We're dealing with this aquifer as fast as possible, which for now will make the main stairway incredibly fucking dangerous. We'll be fixing it with a bunch of wooden grates, of course, but until then, better hope nobody gets too drunk. Even though all we brought to drink was dark elven vodka.

Our administrator, or caravan leader if my hack wasn't such a, well, hack, is Kirra Halllies. Though she's strong, she doesn't actually like getting into physical confrontations. She's humble, thoughtful, and more hopeful than your average rat. However, she's quick to form negative views about things, and finds the pursuit of art to be a waste - even though art and natural beauty often moves her.

It'ikik Ghoulscar, our woodcutter and carpenter, in addition to everything you see here: likes magnetite, platypus leather, the color scarlet, flails, shields, and amulets, and prefers to drink tomatillo wine. He also hates lizards.

K'keek Vicescourge is an awesome fucking name. I have incredibly high hopes for this anxious egoistic mess of a rat.

Kikeek Menacebreeds is another awesome name, and is something of a space case. She has less of a warlike view of the world than most ratfolk.

Eetekak Strikehate (how do these names keep getting better) doesn't take things personally, but that's for better and for worse.

Eeteek Seduceworked seems useless to me. Why would ratfolk farm?? Ratfolk pillage!!!

And last but possibly not least, Eeteek Terrorslip is a chronic oversharer who can't take care of herself and cracks under pressure. She's literally me. I'm actually worried about how similar she is to me. Well except me personally I always experience strong cravings or urges. The more I read of this panel the more upset I get because I don't want to get too attached here; this is a "Terrifying Untamed Wilds" biome we've settled in after all, and we're headed straight into the first cavern layer.

The first thing to dig out is a meeting area. We've got no livestock to worry about keeping alive, but we've got to work kind of quickly against the aquifer: the quick and dirty drain is already spilling over a bit.

It's a bit of a crap solution, and we'll have to make sure to fix it up properly so that it can drain off the map soon, but we don't even have beds or a place to drink vodka. On the plus side, the drain acts as a "mist generator" for a free and easy mood boost. Well, again, not free, I could totally end up fucking flooding the entire base, but who cares, we're fucking rodents. We're here for a bad time, not a long time. Our lifespans are already pitifully brief, there is no point to not just fucking around and doing whatever we want. Kobbles might fancy themselves to be silly creatures but they get so serious about rocks and dragons and shit. But this is rat world. You've entered the rat world. And here in the rat world we do things a little fucking differently heh heh you know "Fuck it!!!" That's basically the rat world motto, you just say "Fuck it!!!" three exclamation points of course - Just fucking kidding dude!!!!! You can use as many exclamation points as you fucking want in rat world!!!!!! I just owe it to you to keep it real with you man rat world is a little different, we do things a little different in rat world.

Rat world also kind of fucking sucks man I just gotta keep it real with you like there's barely anything to fucking eat in rat world, and we have to plant seeds and shit like chumps because well it kind of really just fucking sucks in rat world. Not a single tree on this entire 3x3 embark tile seems to be able to give fruit, it's the middle of summer and yeah nothing man, rats don't really get to have fruit here in rat world which kind of sucks.

We're planting cave tubers and quarry bushes like fucking assholes, LOL. Gotta do what you gotta do in rat world though.

A fucking bunch of dudes show up to rat world which is pretty tight because there's like no food and we all sleep on the ground., But thats' kind of how shit goes in rat world sometimes LOL I'm actually like super worried about how we're going to get food going on in rat world but maybe if we just head straight for the first cavern layer we'll be able to get some grub on without running into too many like fucked up little cavern dwellers or forgotten beasts.

It doesn't take long either which is fucking tight it's literally just 13 layers below our little "main chill zone" area. We'll need to wall off what we call a "chill area" for specifically non-tweak kinds of creatures (us) to get away if tweak kinds of creatures (forgotten beasts) start throwing the vibes off, possibly with like doors or some such shit.

Honestly rat world is kind of popping off right now, we've got like economic forces impacting shit and shit which is honestly like, tight. The food number got down to like 8 for a second but we popped it back up to ~30 which is awesome. Since we can't get a bookkeeper or whatever we'll never like, actually know for sure what kind of numbers are going on, unless getting whatever our version of a "mayor" is finally gives us back the Nobles & Administrators window, but yeah right now we're kind of just chilling hard with cavern access and shit.

The bedroom layout is going to be "A little different" lol as most things in rat world are - I figure the "windmill villas" is a bit complicated for rats really and how much space do they need, it's chill to just leave your shit whereever you like in rat world nobody cares, so you don't need a cabinet or a chest, basically just a door and a bed should be good enough. You can't go around expecting too much shit in rat world like you get what you get in rat world. The resting heart rate of a rat ranges from 250 to 400 beats per minute if you can fucking believe that. That's just how things go in rat world it's a fast-paced life you live you die. Ok. And more important than anything you gotta party in rat world, rat world is ALL ABOUT PARTYING.

The "tavern" is now called The Black Oats. There's still nowhere to stand but people finally started having mugs to drink out of. Even guys who "disdain merriment" have to do at least a little dancing in rat world. The two customary dances in The Nightmare of Tunneling are The Berry of Glossing and The Vermilion Flute.

I still don't know how to parse these, my brain just can't convert this into imagery, sorry.

Our carpenter decides to make a crutch called "Drenchedgear the Prairies of Insight" which is fine. Nothing too interesting about it and we don't really have a concept of "value" in rat world so it's no problem. Just a cool thing we have now I guess - Fuck it!!!!!

The somewhat phallic aquifer drain is safely completed. A miner got kind of wet in the process but it's fine. There's also floodgates at the south end with a lever attached just in case I want to drown out the entire first cavern layer or something later; idk you have to be ready for things.

THIS DUDE'S NAME IS SRAKEEK STOLENCACTI!!!!

I'm going to bed now

[dietfoodsandreviews]

Protein bars are definitely not required for a diet and tend to be on the pricier side, I just use them to help supplement my diet with more protein while keeping calories relatively low. I have heard protein tends to help you feel more full and helps to reduce your appetite which is why I wanted to give a try.

I have so far only tried 3 different bars (I'm still relatively new to this and I only buy one box at a time)

The first brand I tried via recommendation was Quest. They tend to be on the pricier side at about 16-17 USD for a box of 8, however I don't have them on the regular, just as a sort of meal or snack replacement if I dont have other things to have instead or am low on time.

These averaged at about $2.50 a bar and they have 180 Kcal, 7g Fat, 4 Net Carbs, 12g Fiber, and 21g Protein.

I like to use Quest as a meal supplement or replacement specifically because of the high protein and fiber in one bar at a relatively low calorie count, considering they have more fiber than anything by Fiber One.

For the taste, however, keep in mind this is not a candy bar or anything like a granola or snack bar. It is very dense and chewy. I opted for S'mores because I am typically not a fan of chocolate health food because it has a chalky taste and texture that just stays in your mouth and this bar is marshmallow base with graham chunks and dark chocolate pieces. The flavor was.. not bad, not super amazing, but definitely tolerable. If the tough chewy texture isn't great, I have also put them in the microwave for 5-8 seconds and it softens it up significantly though makes the grainy texture of any protein bar a tad more obvious. Do not microwave for more than 10 seconds though or you get a melty sticky mess all over the plate, speaking from experience.

All of my general pros and cons with Quest bars stay the same with this one, granted this one, while costing the same, has 1g less of protein putting its count at: 180 Kcal, 7g Fat, 4 Net Carbs, 12g Fiber, and 20g Protein, so still very good and again, better for a snack and partial meal replacement (if you are going for more small meals throughout the day)

The taste if this one is good for a protein bar as well. You get the general cake flavor, though I admit it is a bit odd when added to the chewy texture of the bar, like someone baked a cake but forgot all the leavening agents. That said, it is much softer than the smores bar though a little drier but not unbearably so.

The quest bars, while good, are sometimes a chore to eat sometimes for me personally but it is a small bar and if Ive not eaten much, its better to power through it so I have something because even though you are counting calories, it is always important that you still eat.

And lastly (for the moment) is the Pure Protein Galactic Brownie.

This brand is definitely more affordable with a 4 bar box costing around 6 USD with the nutrition being fairly similar to Quest. 1 bar will net you 180 Kcal, 4.5g Fat, 7g Net Carbs, 1g Fiber, and 20g Protein so while being similar, you do get much less fiber so its always a good idea to keep an eye on what else you eat to help out with that, but at the cost, having the protein isn't bad. I can have these bars more often (though personally I keep all protein bars to 1 a day if any) this one is more a snack replacement specifically because of the fiber and less of a meal replacement.

For the important part of taste, I was skeptical because chocolate and protein don't mix well for me, that said, this bar didn't have the overly powder and chalky taste others do and while its not very sweet, its not bitter like dark chocolate. Its almost like, to compensate for the lack of sweetness, it reduces flavor altogether, but thats not the worse thing. It is still fairly dense and chewy but it also has a melty and soft chocolate coating with helps with the texture.

Overall, if you have trouble getting enough fiber in your diet, while more expensive, I recommend the Quest bars. You get the same protein as a Pure Protein bar with the additional fiber of like 2 Fiber One snacks. If you eat enough fruits and vegetables or high fiber breads and grains and don't need the additional 12g, then Pure Protein is much better with cost at around $1.50 a bar (compared to $2.25 for Quest) but also remember that these are not snacks and candy bars, they will always cost a little more and will not taste as good, but they help you get your protein and/or fiber you need if you find you aren't getting enough in your diet and at a reasonable calorie cost. Likewise, the taste reviews are all to my personal taste and what I recommend or say may not always equal what someone else likes or doesn't like, but if they sound like they would help and be tolerable to you then definitely give them a shot if you feel like the price is worth the counts for you

[thephilosopherwhofell]

The Fleeting Human Experience

TL/DR: Its harder to have human connections, take the cashier check-out line.

I am only twenty-two and I recognize that I have a very limited world view. I cannot make claims or ideas about the world that are not first going to be limited my a lack of experience compared to those who have been here longer. That said, I think we are in a very dangerous time in the context of the human experience. Never before have we had such barriers between our collective interactions. In our wars, our business, our media, and most importantly, in our relationships. Sure, there is a lot we have gained, but in the midst of our luxury, we forgot the price we pay for all of this.

As technology develops, the only way to keep the highly complicated machinery and computers affordable is to reduce the cost of the labor we need to make it. A sort of pseudo-slave labor in addition to literal slave labor is utilized to reduce the costs of modern tech. We choose to turn a blind-eye to this utter lack of respect for something we agree is a flagrant disregard of human rights because the results are enjoyable or comfortable. We ignore the damage we cause to people across the world because we have become so self-reliant on the technology we have now. I don't blame the average American or any regular citizen for this, but I can recognize that this is a problem.

However, in addition to this fine we pay with the lives and dignity of those less fortunate than us, we also pay a social and collective fine that people tend to forget. We have become so disconnected from each other in most avenues of our lives. As mentioned before, there are barriers in all of our human connections. As stated, we are disconnected in our wars. We do not even have to be in the same continent to do war against each other. The United States can order a drone strike on any target of their choosing from the comfort of the Oval Office and we can not do anything about that. War is no longer fought by soldiers, its fought by technology. That's not even accurate to say because the countries of which the United States has attacked with drones, did not have the means to properly fight back even with jets and anti-air defense. Our technology has made us near impossible to contend with. This is great for defensive purposes, technically speaking, but this is terrible for so many more reasons.

If its not our wars though, its one of the many other things I pointed out. Our business, for example, is done almost entirely online now. Every purchase I make is a set of instructions that is relayed to my bank on my behalf over the internet using a trusted system of card readers. At any point when my card data is available, such as when I insert the card or swipe it at the gas station, a little over-complicated, encrypted key pad can govern my financial future. Of course, when I go to the store its even worse. If I am unlucky or don't have the social battery, I can use a self-checkout kiosk. I never have to interact with a single person, many of which have my interest in mind, to get my groceries. I get it though, these devices are necessary for those who have greater social anxiety or even auto immune diseases. For them, I completely understand the use of a self-dictated machine. But this connection permeates B2B infrastructure too. Most companies move their money around near completely independent of human interaction.

On demand media is also another socially limiting element of our technology. Having media available all of the time whenever I want it means that I don't have to watch the show that everyone is talking about. Sure, I get a more personally curated content feed, and I also get to connect to people who share my interest online. But I never get the experience of discussing a show with my peers like my parents did because we all have our own, distinct, preferences. This is one of the more minor details but it fits within this problem that I am outlining.

Concerningly, this technology is getting in the way of our relationships. Not just friendships, family, or partnerships, but in all of them. Never before could a long distance relationship be maintained the way it is now. Before cellphones became common place you had to call on a landline with fairly pricy rates to use. If not that, then it was a pricy internet connection to send an email or use a chat room. Not unaffordable, but more expensive than not. Before that, maybe letters? I'm speculating a bit based on my knowledge of the internet before I started using it so I definitely could have some gaps on that front but the main idea still holds. With all of that said, maintaining a long-distance relationship is so much easier now that we often fail to recognize the lack of connection occurring. We find friends on the internet, keep connections with people over long distances, and never have to worry about losing track of people with how interconnected we are. These are all great, but we have lost the human connection we need as social animals. Online connections are great when nothing else is available, but when given the option we should be near to each others.

Lastly, and maybe frighteningly, we are moving into a time where interactions on the internet are not just between humans. AI language and image generating software is getting better at an exponential rate and soon enough we are going to struggle to differentiate people from AI. I don't think this is tomorrow but it is coming. I don't fear that AI is out to harm us, nor do I think that AI is going to be the ruin of society, but I do think that I don't want to be fooled. I want to know what my reality is and who I am talking with. AI is not going to replace us, but it may assimilate with us and that's something to be concerned with.

I don't write all of this because I think that technology is evil, but rather because I want to express the importance of interacting with real people. Sometimes people might refer to what I'm saying as experiencing reality or "touching grass" but its more than that. Don't just go to the store, go to the cashier line and have a human connection. Recently, there has been news of Walmart charging a subscription fee to use their self-checkout kiosk and we all agree, hopefully, that this is silly. But this is the perfect opportunity to disconnect from our isolated realities and experience people as people again. We are at a turning point in the technological boom when human interaction is a potentially endangered element of the human experience. It may be argued that we will always have other people in our lives, but what is important right now, is securing that connection for the future. This isn't an overnight process, and we aren't going to see the results of our actions for years, but if we value our humanity, we must remember that part of it comes from out connections to real others.

[hjohn3]

The People Who Lie to Themselves

The Dishonesty at the Heart of Keir Starmer’s Labour

Source: iStock Photos

By Honest John

THAT THE Conservatives are political toast is now a truism of British politics. It seems everything Rushi Sunak touches turns to blight. With his increasingly wan smile, the Prime Minister frequently gives the impression of simply going through the motions, as though he himself no longer believes in the bizarre concoction of austerity economics and crude populism that has characterised his rudderless premiership. The latest scandal of aerated concrete threatening the physical collapse of schools and hospitals symbolises Tory Britain: after well over 13 years of ruinous Conservative rule, the country feels like it is literally falling to bits. With electoral projections predicting a Labour majority of anything between 40 and 140 seats at the next General Election, if the government ever did have a “narrow path to victory” as Isaac Levido claimed eight months ago, it now seems overgrown, mountainous and littered with fallen concrete.

With an average opinion poll lead of 18 points, historically unassailable at this stage In the electoral cycle, Keir Starmer’s Labour seem destined for power, possibly as soon as May next year. The party, pursuing an almost carbon copy of the tactics employed by New Labour in 1996/97 have been careful to shut down any conceivable Tory attack line by diluting, postponing and removing most of the headline policies that had made the Labour offer truly distinctive as recently as last year’s Party Conference. There has been much disappointment and complaining on the left at Starmer’s and Reeves’ caution, lack of ambition and even political cowardice at what appears to be a surrendering of any recognisable progressive agenda to the Tory settlement even as that very settlement appears to be in its death throes. The question of what Starmer’s Labour stands for as it gets ever closer to becoming the next government of the U.K. is constantly raised. Whereas I share those concerns, there seems to me to be something far darker at the heart of the Labour project that goes beyond normal electoral calculus: Labour is actually being wilfully or naively dishonest with the British people.

That dishonesty is fiscal, but also political.

Labour’s current fiscal policies are rightly criticised by disappointed supporters as symbolising the government-in-waiting’s lack of political courage, but are rarely taken to task for their lack of economic coherence. In short order, Rachel Reeves has “ruled out” increasing the top rate of income tax; increasing corporation tax above 25%; any increased borrowing for the first two years in government, and any form of wealth tax. Keir Starmer has recently joined the closing down of fiscal options by promising no increase in income tax at all. The Right have traditionally challenged past Labour Party spending plans with the knowing sneer “where’s the money coming from?”. Now that question is one of genuine objective political curiosity: how on earth is Labour going to govern after it has voluntarily committed to raise no new money whatsoever?

It actually gets worse. It seems to have been forgotten (and I sometimes think by Rachel Reeves too) that Jeremy Hunt’s Autumn Statement last year, designed to stabilise the money markets after Liz Truss’ crazed tax cutting experiment, not only launched Tory Austerity 2.0 by keeping public spending below headline inflation, but also committed to reduce current spending by £22bn and capital spending by £14bn in 2025/26. Labour has signed up to the government’s spending plans and therefore has effectively committed itself to public spending cuts in its second year in office. Rachel Reeves’ fiscal rule (public debt to be less than public income by 2029) is of a piece with this.

The Labour response to criticism of its lack of spending plans, in a reprise of Truss’ mantras, is that Labour wishes to grow the economy and that this cannot be achieved by increased taxation. This of course takes as read the tired Tory assertion that all taxation is derived from income and that increased taxation therefore suppresses consumer demand. This sophistry ignores what governments can do to stimulate the economy with increased revenues, from whatever source, and refuses to countenance the reform of taxation of wealth and property. Even if one puts unexplored policy options to one side (including the rebasing of Council Tax) Labour seems to believe that the economy will grow as if by magic; that the very appearance of a Labour government will automatically attract inward investment, stimulate new businesses, fund capital infrastructure projects and increase wages. To the question “How?” the Labour front bench has no answer.

The fact is that Reeves at least, as a former economist at the Bank of England, knows full well that growth does not occur spontaneously. Investment-led growth requires deployment of fiscal actions by the government, whether that is through the tax breaks, quantitative easing, low corporation tax, low interest rates or the selling off of state assets favoured by the Right, or through the stimulus economics, capital infrastructure spend, government-backed lending and job creation initiatives favoured by the Left. Growth always requires decisive action by the Treasury. To pretend otherwise is either delusional, economically illiterate or, that word again, dishonest.

Starmer and his front bench, given their relentless and highly effective, critique of modern Toryism, also understand that the series of policy disasters inflicted by successive Conservative regimes - the social vandalism of austerity; the self harm of Brexit; the magical thinking of Trussonomics and the inadequate neo-Thatcherism of the hapless Sunak - has resulted in untold damage to the fabric of the British economy, to the resilience and adequacy of public services and to people’s standards of living. Labour know that the unprecedented ruin wrought by the various Tory iterations can’t be “fixed” by a little policy tinkering, some structural reform and fiscal conservatism. To imply otherwise is beyond dishonesty; it is a lie.

Politically, the public’s disgust with the Tories is real. The inchoate anti-austerity that could be detected in the Brexit vote, and even in the vote for Boris Johnson’s offer in 2019, is real. However, unlike its response to those choices, this time the public refuses to be gaslighted by the right wing media. Voters have accurately joined up the dots between Cameron’s “debt reduction” falsehoods of 2010 and the lived reality today of a collapsing NHS and crumbling classrooms. The public not unreasonably want ambulances to turn up, police to manage low level crime, their councils to have enough money to regenerate their town centres, for the unaccountable water companies to stop spewing sewage into the nation’s waterways, for trains to run on time, waiting lists to come down, courts to function and public buildings not to collapse. The Labour critique has done its job, but the opposition’s implication that these public expectations can be met solely by growth and “reform” and no restitution of the public spending cuts implemented by the Tories, is fundamentally and politically dishonest.

In truth, Labour once in office, will live its dishonesty. Perhaps, like Starmer’s cheerleaders earnestly hope, the new government will reverse all its commitments not to increase existing or introduce new taxes, drop Reeves’ fiscal rule and its proclaimed adherence to the 2022 Tory financial settlement, and set about raising revenue in order to stimulate the growth it claims it wants. Or perhaps it will militantly keep its financial word but achieve no meaningful change and let down the millions of voters Labour had encouraged to turn to it to reverse the destruction of the Tory years. There is no way out of this bind - Labour will be unable to avoid the charge of dishonesty whatever it does, or chooses not to do. Starmer and his team may be able lie to themselves in opposition, but as the Tories have discovered to their cost, you can’t lie to the electorate when in government and hope, for any length of time, to get away with it.

7th September 2023

[nyapologies]

TELL ME THINGS ABT SCORPION GIRL!!!!!! 🤥👻💥💢💤🎂💐🙈🙉🌌🪤🎭🔪👑✏️👖🎀📎📦🖍️🔧🌈☁️🌠☄️❤️💚 AND FEEL FREE TO SKIP ANY OF THEM i know there are a lot

Interpreting this ask as calling scorpion a girl. maybe its not too late for him /lie

🤥 LYING - are they good liars? do they have tells to show they're lying?

Used to be! Nowadays he probably still could be if he tried but he tends to not lie so much anymore. He believes if he lies someone will just Know that he's lying somehow and that there will be consequences. Top ten paranoid guys of all time.

👻 GHOST - do they believe in ghosts? what are their "ghostly experiences", if any?

Gee I Fucking Wonder

💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?

Most of them too be honest, but especially fear. He's always been bad with it, but it's much worse now. At least he's aware that what he's feeling is fear though? That's something he would've ignored before.

💢 ANGER - what are some habits they have that will take some getting used to?

Constantly being paranoid and needing reassurance that he's not gonna die. And still being kind of a dick also.

💤 SLEEPING - do they fall asleep easily? what helps them sleep?

He used to sleep pretty well, and more than the average person. Now he probably sleeps a LOT less, he's scared of having nightmares and of waking up in the timeloop again. I think he probably stays up til at least Midnight so he can watch the clock and date turn over. I don't think he can sleep unless he does that.

🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE - when is their birthday? do they like celebrating it?

There is an entire fic about his birthday and how much he hates it <3 And it's even worse after the events of the fic <3

💐 BOUQUET - create a bouqet for them! what do those flowers mean? are any of the flowers their particular favourite?

I've started to associate Masterminds in general with Roses? Kind of cliche but I like it for him. I don't know enough about flowers to pick anything else and I'm too lazy to go looking but honestly I think a bouquet of just Roses makes sense for him AND is also what he would theoretically make himself.

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?

How vulnerable he is, but it's a little too late for that. He's also scared of anyone seeing the less than nice thoughts he has, he gets scared that even Thinking something cruel will have consequences.

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

Basically any of Sinistar or Mena telling him they are done putting up with him and just want him dead lol

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

-Looks into the mirror knowingly-

🪤 MOUSE TRAP - what will always lure them into certain danger? a loved one in danger? a promise of something they are always searching for?

This ones tough! He's so paranoid and avoidant of any danger that I think it'd be difficult to get him to actively endanger himself. But now that he's a 'hero' he kind of has to for his job. So I guess it's just the expectation (mostly from himself, but also from other people) that he Has to do good things, even if it's dangerous.

🎭 MASKS - do they act differently around certain people? what's different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?

I think he's a little bit more open with the other members of Sinistar now, and of course is the most open with Mena. Other people he probably acts in a sort of forced, awkward, stilted sort of politeness.

🔪 KNIFE - how do they react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? do they put themselves at blame?

He absolutely would blame himself even if it wasn't directly his fault. His brain would come up with some twisted logic for how it's his fault in like, a karmic way or something. So it'd freak him out a lot but in a "oh god I'm fucking everything up I'm gonna be punished for this" kind of way.

👑 CROWN - what does your oc want to be remembered as? why?

I don't think he knows anymore. He's so distracted with trying to be 'good' that I think he's just sort of ignoring his own sense of self because to him, his 'real self' was the evil monster that trapped him in a timeloop out of a lust for power.

✏️ PENCIL - is there a particular quote / lyric that you associate with them?

Basically the entire lyrics of Keep Your Eyes Peeled by ULTRA SUNN

👖 JEANS - what is their go-to outfit?

His Scorpion outfit, or his regular outfit of button up + vest, etc. I think he is basically always wearing the mask now though, at least when he's outside of the Sinistar building.

🎀 RIBBON - how would they fit into other worlds / aus? what aus would you like to try out? what fictional world would they fit / not fit into?

This one's hard because I tend to not AU AUs? Other than like. Grean. But Grean is a special little guy. If I replaced the Masterminds in other AU's with him though, hm....My go-to is Fusiform, if he replaced Kemmler, he'd have some kind of mutation around people getting hurt when they're around him and him desperately trying to make up for it? Maybe it'd work like if he isn't constantly groveling and trying to do good, the worse it affects other people. I don't know how that would look physically but something like that. Maybe Aevum themed since he's a timeloop guy.

📎 PAPERCLIP - a random fact.

I don't think he's talked to Lightshow yet <3 They're just ignoring each other really hard

📦 PACKAGE - what are some "most likely to..." that can apply to them?

Most likely to have a breakdown during daylight savings time lol

🖍️ CRAYON - what advice would you give to them?

I would just show him Giggle At The Ghosties from MLP and hope that helps him cope with paranoia. Otherwise he's doing perfectly I think <3 (<-normal)

🔧 WRENCH - are they good at fixing relationships? or do they tend to avoid doing so?

LOL NO. But he IS trying. Mostly. Don't look at Lightshow or Opal or Inkfree or-

🌈 RAINBOW - what advice would they give to their younger self?

"Oh my god don't do any of it just stop for the love of god stop"

☁️ CLOUD - a soft headcanon

I think out of all the Sinistar members, his and Acrobatic's relationship is the only one that actually gets Better after the reveal. At least for now.

🌠 SHOOTING STAR - if they could make any wish with no repercussions, what wish would they make?

One side of him wishes he could undo all the evil shit he did. He would never admit, though, that he also wishes he could just go back to the way things were before the timeloop. Sometimes. Just for a moment.

���️ COMET - what do people assume about them? are they right?

I think a lot of people assume he's full of shit and that this is all some scheme. It's not, but obviously a lot of what he's doing is born more from fear and self preservation rather than actually caring, so they aren't totally off base.

❤️ RED HEART - their love language(s)?

Acts of service and physical touch. He has to do good things always and he is a clingy bastard.

💚 GREEN HEART - what things make your oc feel comforted? hugs, kisses, food?

Just being in the same room as him. He feels safer that way.

[the-heart-of-leo]

AO3 First Lines

Rules: post the first lines of your last 10 fics posted to ao3. if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics.

(I dislike tagging people but if you want to do this, go ahead! Also, I might end up using the first paragraph rather than the first lines as I tend to start my writing simple. I’ve also listed warnings pertaining to the fic)

1 - The Improbability of a Long Life -  Stranger Things/The Old Guard crossover

Eddie knew he thought about death more than the average teenager. Not in a goth ‘life is misery and death is the only escape’ kind of way but in the ‘if the party dies, what’s a good plot point to let them come back’ or, if he’s feeling bit evil, ‘how cool of a player death can I come up with’.

2 - The Stars in Their Eyes - The Sequel to ‘For Want of a Home’. The Old Guard, Joe/Nicky, Omegaverse Crusaders Era Fic, Non-graphic/implied rape and non-grapic/implied forced breeding toward the end of the fic

Al-Quds was burning.

Even now, with the sky as bloody red as the bloody sand beneath his feet, he could see the smoke rising up behind what was left of the walls.

Al-Quds was lost.

Yusuf sat on his knees and stared up at the smoke, the dark stain of it cutting into the sky as the city glowed in its fiery death. The air stank with the smell of blood, of smoke, of burning flesh…

3 - What is Lost and What Can Be Found -  The Old Guard/Diabolik fic that I probably should update sooner rather than later... as such, I can’t give any real warnings at the moment

Nicky hated interrogation rooms.

They were always cramped, cold, and incredibly boring, no doubt in the hope that when the security officer finally came around to ask their questions, their suspect would be eager to talk if only to break the silence.

Airport interrogation rooms were somehow worse. Smaller, duller, and made all the worse by the inconvenience.

4 - Before the Fall -  Waves/Wolf/Diabolik Kenzarelli crossover - Majid/Gabriele

Getting stabbed was one of the worse experiences Majid had ever had and that was saying something.

The wad of bandages pressed to his stomach and taped in place were doing a decent enough job of keeping his blood in his body but it did nothing for the pain.

"Your dad's a fucking psycho," he hissed at Gabriele. He pressed a hand over the wound to try and keep the bandage tight against his body, to staunch the blood more. "Who the hell just fucking stabs someone! He didn't even say anything!"

5 - For Want of a Home - The Old Guard, Joe/Nicky omegaverse Crusaders Era fic

The fabric was a deep burgundy, stuffed, quilted, and lined with beaded gold edging with tassels at the corners. It was a work of art and far more expensive than anything Nicolò could ever afford. Still, he gently ran a finger over the stitch work, following the line as it crossed over stitches until they formed a diamond in the fabric.

It was so soft…

It could be used as the floor of a nest or maybe even the ceiling if he found a way to hang it up so that it acted as a tent... but that would be so wasteful, not to feel the soft fabric, not to wrap it around them to keep the safe and warm and...

6 - The Sun and the Rose -  Lawrence of Arabia, Soul mark AU, has a graphic rape scene in later chapters

His soulmark was fairly small, only as big as the length of his thumb, but he always thought it beautiful in its simplicity. Gracefully arching lines wrapping around an empty center that made him think of blooming flowers — roses to be specific. Something beautiful and fragile that Ali never tired of seeing.

It was a shock to see the familiar design, pale on his dark skin, reflected in contrast on the sleeping man’s chest. The dark lines against skin still pale thanks to the unflattering uniform, so different from the pale pink, almost scar-like lines marking his own breast.

Lawrence was a confusing creature. Passionate, kind, and foolish in his determination and will. A creature the desert both loves and loathes…

And the one the desert has decided his soul belongs with.

7 - Of Truth and Blood - Lawrence of Arabia, Mild Ali/Lawrence, Character Injury, Past rape, trauma concerning everything really

The blood was spreading.

Ali was sure of it now.

It was on his side, easily hidden by his bisht, by the table, and now by the dim candlelight as the power had finally gone out. The dried blood on the filthy white thawb did a good job of covering most of it and, he was sure, no one else noticed it but him.

Aurens certainly gave no indication of being injured.

He never did.

8 - Persistence of Memory - Power Rangers: Dino Charge/Shattered Grid, Implied Koda/Phillip, Character Death, Character’s unhealthy coping habits

Once something is broken, it can never be put back together exactly as it was.

That was the warning they had all been given when the multiverse was reinstated and when those who had been lost had found a way to return. Those whose power was stolen were given their second chance as well as something close enough to home to return to. The Solar Rangers, their purpose complete for now, had disbanded and joined their first families where they belonged.

For the most part.

9 - Propriety, Modesty, and the Lack Thereof - Power Rangers: Dino Charge, Koda/Phillip, Short fluff, play fighting turned fade to black times.

Prince Phillip had been taught many things growing up as a royal: proper etiquette, modesty, propriety, manners – whatever you wanted to call it, it was how he was raised. Always be well-dressed in flattering but neutral colors, always been well-groomed, to never raise one's voice, always present one's self as being in control: someone trustworthy and regal.

Princes did not rough-house. They did not allow themselves to be manhandled, carried, dragged, pushed, pinned, or any other thing that would insult the dignity of his station.

Which only made the embarrassed flush of arousal worse.

10 - Flowers Bloom in the Scars Left Behind - Detroit: Become Human, Simarkus, Kinda slowburn romance, a year in the life kind of deal, too many pairings to name, drug addiction, etc

It had been a little over two years since Simon had last celebrated a Christmas. His former owner, Amy, had loved Christmas and Halloween and any other holiday that required decorating the house. As soon as it became socially acceptable (and sometimes not), she would start setting things up.

To be honest, Simon had enjoyed it too.

At Jericho, there was no reason for celebrations, nothing to decorate or to decorate with. The holidays were a melancholy time for them all, bringing with them memories that were a mix of good and bad, depending on their previous lives.

[bookblogbog]

Clap When You Land

Title: Clap When You Land 

Author: Elizabeth Acevedo 

Genre: Contemporary fiction

Ages: 14 years and Up (HarperCollins, n.d.) 

Summary: Two girls, one in New York and the other in the Dominican Republic, are mourning the death of their fathers who had been in an airplane accident over the Atlantic on his way from NYC to DR. They live two very separate lives and are mourning in very separate ways until one day they both discover that their fathers are one and the same, and they are half-sisters. Each now must reconcile with their father’s complex past and their own shrouded futures.  

Why I chose this book: I chose this book because it was a chance to read a novel in verse, a genre that has become increasingly popular in YA for its accessible poetry and less intimidating reading experience considering how long YA books are these days. I also chose this particular book because it was a book recently challenged and temporarily banned (Slocum, 2022).  

Evaluation: 

Format: I had been a little hesitant in starting this book as I hardly remember any of my poetry education from high school and university. I believe I was under the misapprehension that I needed to know exactly what was going on structurally. What was the metric line of this quatrain and is it significant when contrasted to the two couplets that followed? How am I supposed to be reading this? Should I be making a brief pause every time a line goes to the next? Should I have listened to this book instead of reading it? However, I came to realize that much like Shakespeare’s plays, this writing isn’t meant to be analyzed in depth but experienced. Once I had let go of the schoolish notion of critical analysis (on the first read, at least) and became absorbed in the story, I couldn’t put the book down. Rather than fracture the flow that can make or break prose, each line could say less because the rhythm, the breaks in lines, and the spaces can say more. Rather than taking a verbose approach to communicating emotion, each word on the page had purpose. I found myself rereading lines not as a second attempt at understanding them, but to experience the line again and to linger its weight on my inner voice. I think I’ve become a new fan of the novel in verse.  

Characters: The characters, especially the protagonists, are multifaceted and their inner dialogues spoken in the first person evoke the reader’s sympathy from the outset of the novel. The character that was really compelling for me was the father. He was both a plot device—his death marks the beginning of the novel and his funeral begins the end of the novel—and the antagonist of the novel even in absentia. To be clear, he was not a villain. He was the average complex and flawed human, but it was his flaws that created obstacles for them. The sisters struggled not only against him while alive, but with his memory and his truths after he passed. Their journey in accepting who their father was while still loving him and extending love to each other is the crux of their dynamism as characters. 

Setting: The book has two major settings, New York and the Dominican Republic; each is occupied by one of the sisters and her respective family. The biggest contrast made visible within the book is that one is a place of privilege and the other of strife. Despite the comforts that Camino’s father was able to provide her tia and her in the DR, they were entirely dependent on his money for their wellbeing and, specifically her, safety. Even though Yahaira went through a traumatic experience (sexual assault and predators happen and exist in both settings), she had a support system to turn to whereas Camino, who is being stalked and harassed, feels unable to turn to any support system lest she burden them even more on their already difficult lives or worse, put them in danger. Furthermore, anything American had power: the American money that bought the small luxuries for Camino, the American passport that let Yahaira go without difficulty, the American opportunity that attending Columbia would have afforded Camino in achieving her dreams of becoming a physician. To use the settings to highlight the differences in the sisters, expose the duality of their father, and highlight the class divisions between the two also enable the sisters a path in overcoming those obstacles when they finally come together  

References

Acevedo, Elizabeth. (2020, May 5). Clap when you land. Quill Tree Books.  

Harper Collins. (n.d.) Clap when you land. Retrieved on December 10, 2022, from https://www.harpercollins.com/products/clap-when-you-land-elizabeth-acevedo?variant=39727676096546 

Slocum, R. (2022, February 15) Happy birthday, Elizabeth Acevedo! Intellectual Freedom Blog. Retrieved on December 10, 2022, from https://www.oif.ala.org/oif/happy-birthday-elizabeth-acevedo/#:~:text=Similarly%2C%20in%20Pennsylvania%2C%20Clap%20When,for%20teaching%20The%20Poet%20X.  

[thorraborinn]

Do you have any info on the Ginfaxi symbol? Seen a heathen who had it tattooed on their throat and immediately had alarms go off in my head.

I'll post what I know about Ginfaxi, but it won't tell you anything more about the person you saw than you already know. I like thinking and writing about this stuff so I wrote a lot but, yeah, none of this is really going to narrow anything down for you. I'm trying to put the rest behind a break but Tumblr doesn't like breaks anymore, and keeps moving this one around, so we'll see what happens.

I assume that what you mean by "ginfaxi" is this:

This isn't the only symbol that gets called that (more on that below) but it is the most common, and it's what comes up when you Google it. I don't really know anything about how modern people are using ginfaxi but here are some off-the-cuff thoughts:

it's probably on its way into popularity because Ægishjálmur and Vegvísir are too well-known to be mysterious and cool anymore

while less common than those, it's been commercialized for just as long. You, anon, probably know this already, because you probably googled it before asking me, and turned up all the same tchotchke shit that every other "Ancient Viking Magic" symbol is slapped onto. That has more determination over how people relate to it than any 18th/19th century black book does.

there's higher-than-average risk of it being made into a symbol of "Viking warriors" or similar because of its actual historical association with glíma even though conceptually it's closer to staves for winning at chess (which do also exist) than it is to actual combat

yeah I do think it has potential to be a "swastika with plausible deniability" but I honestly don't know if people are doing that and if anything its touristification might be the thing that prevents it

it occurs to me that TikTok is probably a serious vector for how people are experiencing this stuff, and it's something I know absolutely nothing about other than that people like to put runes and stuff on their faces. So I dunno, that could be an influence here.

When you're trying to figure out what it means when you see a galdrastafur on someone, it doesn't necessarily do you any good to learn about its background and history if the person who got it inked didn't bother to research that themselves, and I'm disinclined to believe that someone who got a vaguely swastika-like symbol on their throat did that. I have no idea if the symbol has any more frequency among racists than it does among sorta "general population" heathen/viking-interested people who relate to the past basically through the lens of the tourist gift shop, who would have been getting "Celtic" symbols if it were still the 90's, which seems to be the majority of people involved with this stuff at all. A radically different group of people also comes to mind: in my experience in east coast US, some crusty gutter punk types also use symbols like Icelandic galdrastafir and runes, and they're also more likely to get a tattoo on their throat or face or whatever than the average viking enthusiast. I know a guy who used to put runes and stuff on his panhandling signs and claimed they did get him more cash, and whether it was magic or just drawing attention or what didn't really matter to him.

Anyway, the point is, I think that tattoo was a bad idea, makes someone look like a nazi, and you should side-eye them until you know better, but for better or worse there are other possible explanations for how that symbol got there. I'm not making excuses for anyone, just stating the blunt fact that there are non-nazis who attracted to this symbol and decorate itself with it without even thinking about any of this.

It shows up in that annoying graphic of "Norse" symbols with no context that occasionally makes the rounds (that manages not to include a single symbol from the actual Viking age), with an incorrect or at least misleading description:

And as much as this sucks that is probably the main way that people experience symbolism that is related (whether in a historical or a recently-contrived way) to "the Norse."

The version of the symbol I've been talking about is the most well-known because it comes from Íslenzkar þjóðsögur og æfintýri by Jón Árnason, the most important folklore and fairy tale collection from Iceland. I'm not sure where he got that particular image. When he was writing in the mid-19th century, he said that ginfaxi and gapaldur (which often accompanies ginfaxi) were among the most widespread symbols with the most variety of uses, and even mentions them before ægishjálmur. Ginfaxi was probably always used in glíma, and since that's the context it appears in in magic books while other uses seem not to have been recorded, the association with glíma became stronger over time. It was to be written on a piece of paper or wood-chip and put in the toe of the left show, while gapaldur was supposed to be under the heel in the right shoe (there is some variation in the procedure). According to Grunnavíkur-Jón Ólafsson (via Jón Árna) the two symbols together were also used for spookier things like going into hills (i.e. like huldufólk do, I guess, there's no additional context) and repel sendingar (sort of like ghosts raised by hostile wizards to harm someone) but I don't know where Grunnavíkur-Jón wrote about that or anything else about this. Here is a variant gapaldur from Jón Árnason:

According to Jón Árnason (link in Icelandic), it was rumored that the two staves were composed by hiding the names of different æsir in them. To me, that implies either a method of encoding that is totally opaque to me, or that belief pertained to an entirely different set of visual symbols (either of these are highly plausible). It seems the names ginfaxi and gapaldur (or gapandi) were better-known than the actual visual symbols themselves, and there are many variants that look hardly anything like the one in Jón Arna (this is not surprising -- there are also many symbols called ægishjálmur other than the one we all know). Probably many more people suspected others of having used symbols like these to gain advantage over them, than actually used symbols themselves, so that the idea of ginfaxi would precede anyone knowing how to actually draw it, and perhaps there never really was an original or fixed shape.

Jónas Jónasson (another folklore collector) identified this one from Lbs 977 4to as another ginfaxi although I don't know how he knows it's that and not gapaldur:

This one comes with a formula to recite that invokes Óðinn and Frigg and is specifically about winning at glíma.

These two are from the Galdrasýning á Ströndum website (only on the Icelandic version of the page for some reason), not sure where they got them either. With these you're supposed to carve them on a piece of turf when the moon is waxing and drop some of your own blood into them, then put them in your shoes and recite a verse.

I think it's worth showing what glíma is. True, when an Old Icelandic text refers to people doing an action that is uses the verb glíma to describe, it's talking about actual fighting, but this is the stuff that the glímugaldrar ('glíma-magic') that we have is about:

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

I’m really interested in the idea behind your username, though I must admit I was a bit offended at first- being Muslim and all, but I would really like to know more!

Have you always been anti-religion?

If not, we’re you religious as a child and did that experience in any way shape your beliefs today?

Do you think the institution of major and widespread religions actually affects peoples mental health and, if so, do you think anything will ever be done to combat this issue?

Sorry this is so lengthy, but I’d really appreciate if you’d get back to me!

-Thanks, a conflicted believer

Hi, the crux of my blog is probably better described by the subtitle, which is "Faith is a cognitive sickness."

This saying came from a discussion by Peter Boghossian. The point of what he's saying is that faith is not a pathway to truth, and that adherence to, and justification by, faith prevents learning.

Over time I've found that faith can be identified in more than simply traditional religions. It can be found in movements (e.g. Woke), and in other beliefs such as Flat Earth, alien abduction and anti-vax.

You can read a summation of my background here. I've never really been a believer in any religion, and I would regard myself as being dismissive of religion, and anti-faith. I found what I grew up around to be completely unbelievable, and indistinguishable from any average Grimms or Hans Christian Andersen fairytale. And I've found that is even more true as time as gone on, as I've discovered more about the various faith beliefs that I've come across.

They're absurd, often incoherent, and the only reliable reasons people believe them seem to be that: they were taught that they're true from birth (indoctrination); and that they were sold those beliefs as a solution to their problems at a vulnerable point in their life (snake oil).

There's nothing that someone can't believe based on faith alone. No belief, no matter how bizarre or despicable, can't be defended by simply saying "I just have faith" and expecting that to be sufficient. Except it's not. "I just have faith" is an admission, not an explanation. It means you can't justify your belief, but you'll continue to believe anyway.

Every believer says that they have "faith". But all beliefs can't be true. It's impossible, for example, for Islam and Mormonism to both be true. But there is no way for anyone to figure out what is true.

Faith is unfalsifiable and indefeasible. Believers simply assert their faith tradition is true, and insist everyone else is wrong, but nobody can do the work of substantiating that their thing is uniquely true in comparison to all the others. Every "proof" is based on fallacies, presupposition and is held to a different standard than a "proof" offered by someone of a different faith. Xians will not be convinced by the "proofs" Muslims find indisputable, and vice versa.

If true beliefs and false beliefs are indistinguishable, then faith is not a reliable way to discover truth. Particularly when "faith" prevents correction. It's okay to have believed something that wasn't true - people make mistakes - but you must be able to then correct that. And "faith" prevents identifying the mistake and therefore correcting it.

"Faith is a cognitive sickness" summarizes all this, in that believing things based on faith damages cognition, which is the process of acquiring knowledge and understanding. Basically, how you know what's true (epistemology). What you say is true is less important than how you know it's true, and just as importantly, how you could be wrong, and how you can show you're not.

The fact that faith cannot be dislodged, and is proud about its unreasonableness makes faith the mental equivalent of that hobbling scene from the movie Misery. People have crippled their ability to find out what's true.

And even worse in many cases. A common complaint I get is that it's "rude" or even "hateful" to criticize religions and faith-based beliefs, because people find them comforting or gives them meaning. What they're saying is not only that their ability to discover what's true has been damaged, but they don't even care what's true, only what makes them feel good. They're engaging in delusion.

This is devastating to humanity.

A faith-based certainty that a god will save you from the coronavirus has encouraged countless congregations to take risks that cost lives. A faith-based belief that god will cure a child's illness encourages parents to avoid valid medical treatments in favor of faith. Or even kill the child in the certainty that they'd be delivered to god. A certainty that an afterlife awaits makes this life cheap and meaningless; if an eternal paradise awaits, why put any consideration into this dirty, brief, temporary little prologue?

Navigating our world, looking after ourselves, each other and the planet itself requires an accurate understanding.

Relying on "faith" is a recipe for disaster.

Religion absolutely affects mental health. I cannot even begin to convey how absolutely devastating it is. You can find many different people in my Asks who have told me about some appalling behavior of their parents, or a teacher, or how messed up they were when they were leaving their religion, how it diminished their self esteem, and even celebrated or worthless they are. "I am nothing without god", a Xian claim to humility and piety is psychologically poison. To think that a real person is worthless, while an undetectable, immaterial being for which no verifiable substantiation exists, to the point of needing to be held entirely by "faith" alone, provides 100% of human meaning is toxic beyond measure.

And let's not forget my most recent Ask - the one just before you, that is - which proudly declared...

lol retard. see you in hell faggot.

... to a complete stranger, telling people they deserve, and will get, eternal torture and feel good doing so.

https://religion-is-a-mental-illness.tumblr.com/tagged/self%20esteem

https://religion-is-a-mental-illness.tumblr.com/tagged/abusive%20relationship

https://religion-is-a-mental-illness.tumblr.com/tagged/recovering%20from%20religion

https://religion-is-a-mental-illness.tumblr.com/tagged/god%20is%20an%20abuser

There's fear of hell, unearned shame, sexual repression, guilt, the omnipresent monitoring of e being who sees you while you're sleeping, knows when you're awake, knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake. You can never escape this being, and yet, it will not reliably respond to your pleas -- any more than mere chance. And if it doesn't then you must deserve it.

When really, you can simply realize that this being was never there to begin with.

There is a recognized phenomenon called Religious Trauma Syndrome, which has features that resemble other traumatic experiences (e.g. parental abuse); Marlene Winell is pretty much the authority on this. Steven Hassan has constructed the BITE Model of Authoritarian control, and much of what passes for religious virtue can be found on this model.

https://journeyfree.org/rts/

https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model/

There are two particular podcasts I'm aware of that go into the aftermath of coming out of religion:

https://www.thelifeafter.org

https://bornagainagain.co/podcast

The Born Again Again Podcast also has a "Your Stories" page where people have written to them about their own experiences leaving religion, and they've done multiple episodes which dealt with how religion messed up their ability to think and reason, and the work they've had to do to undo all that.

https://bornagainagain.co/podcast/episode-03-is-my-relationship-with-god-abusive

https://bornagainagain.co/podcast/episode-05-god-is-love

https://bornagainagain.co/podcast/episode-14-christianity-warped-our-brains

Both The Life After and Born Again Again are specifically about leaving Xianity. I'm not aware of any comparable ones about leaving Islam. However, you may find some elements ring true for you. You might consider perusing these links:

https://www.reddit.com/r/exmuslim/

https://exmuslims.org/

Even if you're conflicted and uncertain, find out what some people who've left have to say. Why they left, what life is like after faith, and what process they went through to recover.

Even if you decide that you do still believe, it will (hopefully) give you a better idea and better respect for the fact that they don’t.

[closedafterdark]

Study

Lee Saerom & Jang Gyuri x Male Reader

10204 words

categories: smut, angst, oral, mommy kink, scientist! gyuri

Read on AFF

“S-Slow d-down.. P-please…!”

Heavy breathing and the familiar sounds of a bed frame creaking filled an otherwise empty room. A pile of discarded clothing begins from the entrance leading to the bed itself. On the bed was a woman who was currently straddling someone’s waist, bracing herself onto his chest as she rode him.

He is greeted with a harsh slap across his face, the sound echoing onto the walls around them. He isn’t given any time to process the harsh sting felt on his cheek. The woman slicks her long, beautiful chestnut brown colored hair back as she meets the man’s eyes with her own aloof expression.

“Don’t you dare tell me what to do.” she simply said, her cold tone reinforced with another slap. This time, on the man’s other cheek.

He can feel her suffocatingly tight walls constrict his shaft, causing him to feel a mixture of both pain and pleasure. The woman’s fluidity of her hip movements caused his cock to be well lubricated with her juices. Having established a somewhat enjoyable rhythm, the man raised his hands and brushed aside the white lab coat the woman was wearing. The very moment his hands rested on her waist, he was met with his neck being constricted by her soft hands.

“Who said you could touch me?” she asked. “I’m the one in charge here.”

The man’s eyes widened in fear as the woman increased her pace. Her pussy was extremely wet and tight, causing his breath to be staggered as he struggled to match her tempo. Her cute butt and dangerously soft thighs met his with each bounce of her body.

“I… I’m sorry.” the man managed to say.

“Sorry? You’re not sorry. At least, you won’t be until I’m done with you.”

The woman in the lab coat continues to ride the man - her hot, wet pussy causing him to feel a multitude of sensations at once. Her muscles gripped onto his erect cock even tighter, the pace at which she was impaling herself onto him showed she had zero regard for his comfort. It was clear she had one goal. Using the helpless man to achieve her own satisfaction.

“My pussy is too tight for you, isn’t it?” she jeered. The bed underneath them both began to creak loudly as she continued to increase the pace at which she was riding him. Her slim, long fingers wrap themselves around his neck, causing the restriction of airflow. Not enough to suffocate, but enough for his breathing to become sparse. He gulps a small amount of saliva built up as he manages to admire the woman’s body through his fear. She was slightly taller than the average woman, her slim figure complimented by the tiniest hint of muscle and soft, delicious looking thighs. Her breasts were on the smaller side, but were easily able to hypnotize whoever should be staring at them as they bounced up and down while she continued to do so on the man’s cock.

A dangerously sweet face that was anything but. Her soft features were a testament to the natural beauty she possessed. Not a single blemish or imperfection on her face, nothing to hide the alluring look presented before him. Her eyes were bright, a twinkle of a wild personality being unleashed as her body bounced up and down on the man. Had the meeting been under more comfortable circumstances, the man would easily admit he is smitten towards her. The feel of her hands that continued to hold on his neck brings him back to reality - the time to admire her appearance is short-lived as he feels her already tight pussy quickly increasing even more in tightness as it pulses around his shaft.

She knows he wouldn’t be able to last much longer, as she runs one hand through her luscious, long hair and slicks it back and continues to impale herself again and again on his cock. She wanted him to cum and she wanted him to do it now.

“I know you’re getting close… so just hurry up and fucking cum already…!”

Her hands tighten their hold on his neck as the velvety walls of her pussy do the same to his cock. The bed’s loud creaking could not be compared to how roughly the woman slammed her body onto him. He isn’t even able to speak as the orgasm finally takes over his body. His toes curl tightly from the pleasure as the euphoric floodgates are opened all at once. She feels his cock throb inside her as her thighs clenched around his waist. Goosebumps formed on the man’s body as he instinctively thrusts upwards, releasing more and more of his semen into the hot, tight walls of her pussy. He holds onto her hips - surprised she showed no effort of pushing him away as she allows him to ride out his orgasm.

She grinds herself on his cock as the man slowly descends from his pleasure-filled high. The man is panting heavily, beads of perspiration formed on his skin as he struggles to return to normalcy. Finally opening his eyes, he is met with the woman’s beautiful eye smile once more. She gives him a seductive wink before blowing a kiss. Satisfied, the man continues to catch his breath.

“That was… amazing.” he said.

He is met with the woman letting out a hauntingly soft laugh. The look in her eyes shows she is not happy, in fact - the opposite. The smile on her face disappears as quickly as it appeared. His eyes widened as he begins to process what was going on.

“I wouldn’t call cumming in less than a minute and a half something to be proud of.” she said. Despite saying that, a sultry moan escapes her lips as she raises her hips and removes the man’s softening cock from her body. A stream of semen and juices begins to flow out of her freshly fucked pussy. She looks down at where their bodies were previously connected and her frown deepens.

“A shame that such a large load was released by someone who can’t even last long in bed.” she stated. The man’s ego would have taken a hit were it not for the fact that she quite simply scared him. She gets off the bed and grabs tissues from the nearby nightstand.

“What’s worse is that I would’ve enjoyed swallowing it. Bet you didn’t know that about me, didn’t you? I love swallowing. But now I have to clean this disgusting filth out of my body.” As the woman wipes her thighs, she bends over in front of the man, shaking her butt cutely at him as she grabs and puts on the lacy fabric of her sheer black panties.

“Seriously? I shake my ass and you’re already hard again?” her unwelcoming tone drastically lowering the temperature in the room despite the heater being on. The man swallowed another amount of saliva as he opened his mouth in response. Unfortunately, no sound was able to be produced. Instead, he chooses to nod his head nonchalantly.

“That’s too bad. Now you’re going to have to go home and jerk yourself off in order to relieve that. Still such a shame, I can see your poor cock throbbing. Just dying to be inside me once more.” The woman knelt beside the bed and slowly began to lower her face onto his crotch. Anticipating her wrapping her pink, plump lips around his shaft, he closed his eyes. After not feeling himself enter her mouth, he slowly opens them and sees she is blowing hot air onto his tip, still lubricated from her juices and his own cum. She held onto the man’s crinkled dress shirt next to him and tossed it onto his body.

“Gather your things and get the fuck out of my office. Now!”

The man fumbles out of the bed, his sense of balance still lacking as evident through his shaking knees as he quickly gathered his discarded clothing and shoes before storming out of the office in tears. Luckily enough, he didn’t seem to run into a young woman who made a fist in front of where the door was. She turned her head to see what just whirled by her as her gaze returned to the woman in the lab coat who is now putting on her bra and stockings. Leaning against the frame of the door, she smirks at the woman.

“Can I help you?”

“Looks to me like this is the scene of another failed experiment. Poor bastard never even stood a chance. How many does that make it, four?” The woman replied, tilting her head slightly as she put her pointer finger on her temple. The woman inside has finally put on her dress shirt, taking the time to button it up before tucking it into her skirt and wearing her slightly wrinkled lab coat once more.

“Is there a reason you’re in my office and making fun of my unsuccessful test run, miss Nakyung?”

“Unnie, lighten up.” Nakyung said as she closed the door. She goes ahead and sits on the nightstand next to the bed, the only other piece of furniture in the room. “You’re so uptight whenever I bring it up.”

“You would be too if you had to deal with idiots in an intimate scenario on a daily basis.”

“I am. Those poor souls end up crying in my office, causing me to clean up after you. You really should take it easy, unnie.”

“Did you call the person I told you to call, miss Nakyung?” the woman said, ignoring the previous statement and easily changing the subject.

Nakyung sighed. “Yes, I did. They’re going to be arriving later today.”

“Good.” the woman nodded. Not bothering to move her head up, her eyes met Nakyung’s curious gaze. She watched as she crossed her legs and brushed her skirt before speaking.

“Gyuri unnie.” Nakyung began. An eyebrow was raised as she grabbed onto her lab coat and fixed it, her name embroidered above its left breast pocket. Despite the cold stare evident on Jang Gyuri’s face, it still maintained a soft, calming feeling.

“You said you were okay with them getting together. Saerom unnie even asked if you would be okay with her dating your ex-boyfriend.” Gyuri tensed up slightly. Nakyung knew it was a sensitive subject, trying all that she could to avoid saying the one person’s name Gyuri was not overly fond of.

--

Two women sit across from each other at a quaint, yet spacious cafe. The decor looked as if it was stepping into a time portal - everything from the red neon rings surrounding the various wall clocks and the ceiling above to the black and white checkered flooring. The diner tops contained chrome finishes while the chairs used a shiny form of faux leather. The fair appearance of the waitress who delivered the women’s drinks was complimented by a red and white dress, complete with clubmaster glasses, overtly red lipstick, and a beauty mark that had no business blemishing an otherwise flawless face. She bowed to the women before leaving them to their conversation.

Neither woman said a word. Both looked around, as if to find something, anything to distract them from the tension in the air before them. The moment the two made eye contact, their eyes widened slightly before taking the cup in front of them and having a small, awkward sip. To anyone viewing from the outside, it would seem the two were friends, or at the very least, acquaintances discussing some important matters. Which is true, but the context of the situation was lost to everyone except for the two of them.

“Have you given my request some thought?” one of the women finally said, breaking the silence. The other woman coughs, not expecting that to be the first statement either person would say. She takes a moment to compose herself and gather her thoughts before speaking.

“Remind me again what it was?” she asked, a hint of a feigning innocence in her voice.

“I wanted to know if you’re okay with me asking out oppa. You know, your ex-boyfriend.”

The mere fact that she reiterated her point, and made sure to mention that it was her ex-boyfriend at that, rubbed the woman the wrong way. She placed her cup back onto the plate serving as a coaster below, albeit a bit louder than expected. She glared at the woman before her, though it was not one with the intention of malice. Instead, it contained pain, a longing sadness in her eyes.

“Does it really have to be him, Saerom?”

“It does.” the woman known as Saerom replies, sighing. “I know you two didn’t break up on the greatest terms. Trust me, I get it. I’ve tried so hard to get rid of my feelings by going on dates with other people. But somehow, I always found myself gravitating towards him. He has my heart, Gyuri.”

Gyuri’s eyes began to glisten at what Saerom had told her. It was true - Gyuri and her ex-boyfriend broke up because their careers were going to take them in completely separate paths. Rather than end up not having any time for each other at all, it was Gyuri who suggested they mutually part ways. Despite some time having passed, it was still a sensitive subject for Gyuri.

“I’m sorry.” Saerom said softly, taking Gyuri’s hand into her own. Placing her other hand on top, she began rubbing it gently, an effort to calm the abundance of emotions Gyuri was likely experiencing all at once. “I know what he meant to you. But I have to listen to my heart. The heart wants what it wants.”

Tears begin to stream down Gyuri’s face. Despite having heard something so devastating, she managed to keep a smile on her lips. She knew everything Saerom said was true, but it didn’t make it any less heartbreaking.

“Ah, why am I feeling this way?” Gyuri said, doing her best to wipe the tears out of her eyes. Regardless, they continued to flow freely down her cheeks. She was sorrowfully beautiful - a modern day tale of a woman who chose her career over her true love. And now to hear someone else, someone she was close to in particular, wanting to give love in a way she never could breaks her heart. It didn’t matter that they were in a public place. Years of built up longing and regret were finally released as Gyuri continued to cry.

All Saerom could do was continue to comfort Gyuri by rubbing her hand tenderly as she let it all out. Eventually, Gyuri manages to calm herself down once she realizes she’s all cried out. Her face is flushed, and her once bright, shining eyes are glistening with an overwhelming sadness. She initially wipes her eyes with the back of her hand before grabbing the napkin on the table to properly fix her appearance.

“You’re right. The heart does want what it wants.” Gyuri said after several minutes of relative silence.

“I hope you two are happy together.”

--

“They do seem pretty happy together...” Nakyung could be heard saying, bringing Gyuri out of her daydream. She glares at Nakyung slightly before turning away and putting on her heels.

“You know, ever since you dyed your hair and got those horrible excuses for extensions, you’ve changed a lot.” Gyuri said, staring out the window that overlooked the city.

“My boyfriend seems to like them, so they can’t be that bad.” Nakyung replied. “Can’t say the same about you, unnie.”

“Hey!” Gyuri whined. Nakyung got off the nightstand and linked arms with Gyuri, causing the older woman to scoff in fake annoyance before smiling as Nakyung batted her eyes and turned up the charm. She knew Gyuri was always soft for her.

--

It was a day like any other.

That is, since most days began looking down as you felt a sharp pleasure from between your legs as your girlfriend Lee Saerom’s head was currently bobbing up and down. A soft moan escapes your lips as your hand guides her rhythm. Saerom gives you a hauntingly sexy stare as her plump lips are parted by your cock. You felt her hollowed cheeks that are accompanied by her tongue running across the underside of your shaft.

Saerom’s pace was slow, wanting you to feel the pleasure gradually build up as the wetness of her mouth and the suction-like hold her lips have on your cock caused you to release steady moans of satisfaction.

She kept her eyes on you the entire time, smiling through them as she hears you enjoying the pleasure she is giving. Your girlfriend was extremely beautiful by every means possible, but there was something alluring whenever she had your cock in her mouth. Giving you one final bob of her head, she flicks her tongue back and forth on your base before withdrawing you from her mouth inch by inch. You let out a soft whine once she fully released your cock with a loud pop. She giggles before opening her mouth and flicking her tongue on your tip. She then strokes you before focusing her attention on your balls, lathering each one as she gently nibbles on them, causing you to shiver as they are particularly sensitive from her having squeezed them with a bit of pressure. 

Saerom smiled sweetly as she continued, giving the tip of your cock a long, deep kiss before taking your cock back into the familiar warm and wet feeling of her mouth.

“Oh fuck, mommy…” you moaned out as Saerom resumed bobbing her head up and down. Despite having a mouth full of cock, she let out a giggle, causing her tongue to vibrate on the underside of your shaft. You felt her lips tighten around your cock as she played with your head. No matter how many times she has done it, it always seemed like she found a new way to cause pleasure to be felt throughout your body.

Saerom loved giving the sloppiest of blowjobs, and why would today be any different? Her eyes formed inverted crescents as she smiled at you while swishing around her built up saliva and thoroughly lubricated your cock. With your hand still guiding her rhythm, it was eventually joined by your other one as it ran through her voluminous, shiny black hair before resting on the back of her head.

Feeling the end was near, you began increasing the pace of her bobbing her head. Her eyes were filled with pleasure, wanting nothing more than to see you fully satisfied by her actions. Sounds of Saerom gargling on your cock and her saliva entered both of your ears as you relentlessly put more and more of your cock inside her promiscuous mouth. It couldn’t have been more than a dozen or so bobs of her head for you to finally reach your orgasm.

Unable to say anything besides moaning loudly, both of your hands grabbed onto the back of Saerom’s head and pushed her all the way down as your cock began to deposit hot, thick semen down her throat. Your body shakes from the aftershocks of pleasure as you curled your toes and continued pushing her head down. Saerom’s wet lips maintain their tight hold on you as she takes your balls into her hand and gently squeezes them, wanting to make sure she has drained you of every last drop.

You struggle to catch your breath as your knees have not fully recovered from the intense orgasm Saerom gave you. She regretfully removes her head from your cock inch by inch as some of your cum begins to leak out and drop onto the bed sheets below. She opens her mouth to show you the massive volume of semen you released for her. Giggling slightly, she plays with it, twirling it inside her mouth and tongue before tilting her head up and giving you a good view of your load slowly descending down her throat. Letting out a hum of satisfaction, Saerom cleans up the small amount of cock dribbling from your slit before smiling at you sweetly.

“You always cum so much for mommy, baby.”

--

One almost scalding shower and intense round of sex later, you make your way to the living room and see Saerom on the couch. There she sat, crossing her long legs for your viewing pleasure thanks to the extremely tiny boy shorts she wore. Her skin tight black tank top left little to the imagination as it showed off her wonderful midriff, the result of many hours at the gym which resulted in abs that you were a bit embarrassed to admit you enjoyed worshipping a bit too much. The outline of her breasts made you want to do nothing more than rip off the restrictive clothing from her body.

“... so yeah, he and I just finished moving into this place about a few days ago. You should totally come by when you have time.” Saerom said as she waved at you sweetly. She puckered her lips which soon met yours as you sat down next to her. “Nakyung” she mouthed to you when you asked who she was on the phone with. Despite the television being on, she paid little attention to it as she was currently engrossed in her conversation with Nakyung. She placed her legs on top of yours, something she has done plenty of times. While it wasn’t out of the ordinary, your hand began to rub them and admired how smooth and soft they were. It seemed Saerom had been using a new lotion, the fragrant aroma of lilac perfumed the air as you saw her wiggling her freshly pedicured toes. You teased her by squeezing her big toe, causing Saerom to playfully hit you.

Feeling a bit more bold, you sneakily wrapped your arm around her waist and pulled her onto your lap. Saerom yelped, having been caught off guard.

“Saerom unnie, are you okay?” Nakyung asked.

“Ah, ah. Yes, I’m just exercising at the moment.” Saerom yelled a bit loudly as you softly laughed while running your hands up her creamy thighs.

“Oh, what are you doing?”

“I’m… ah, about to do squats.” She moaned as one of your hands began to fondle her clothed breasts while simultaneously planting tender kisses on her neck. Her eyes grow half-lidded as lust quickly takes over her body. You helped Saerom out of her shorts and panties as she turns around and faces you. Her face is flushed as she cutely glares at you. Giving her a tender kiss on the lips, you smacked Saerom’s ass softly. She helps you remove your shirt, all the while still on the phone with an unsuspecting Nakyung.

You grabbed Saerom’s toned arms and pushed her face first onto the couch. Her long, beautiful hair was beginning to grow damp as she moved it all to one side for you to admire her neck.

You slapped her soft butt cheeks a few more times with your cock, teasing her. You slid yourself between them, causing her to have to restrict her moans before entering her. Your initial penetration caused you to moan as well, Saerom lost strength in her arms as her phone fell onto the couch. Giving her time to adjust to your cock, she fumbled around before placing the call on speaker.

“Fuck…” she moaned into the couch while covering her mouth.

“You’re so tight, mommy.” you said as you slowly thrusted in and out of her hole. Her velvety walls squeezed your cock painfully, arousing you even more. You thrusted into her slowly, yet deeply. Her asscheeks rippled from the force each time it collided with your lower body. Saerom bit down on her panties hard to prevent her moaning from being heard by Nakyung as you held onto her arms while you fucked her.

“Unnie, are you okay? You sound like you’re out of breath.” Nakyung’s voice could be heard through the phone. It was slightly alarming that the two of you quickly forgot Saerom was having a conversation. But that thought quickly faded as the two of you were being consumed by lust and passion.

“I-I’m fine!” Saerom panted heavily. “Harder, baby.” She whispered to you softly. You picked up the pace, causing her to bite even harder onto her panties as the sounds of your skin colliding with each other filled the spacious living room.

“Can I join you, unnie?” Nakyung curiously asked, causing your cock to throb inside Saerom. She turned her head back and rolled her eyes at you.

“N-Not… right now…” Saerom moaned, her voice trailing off as you held onto her hips and continued to thrust inside your girlfriend. Saerom was extremely wet, her juices coating your cock as you did your best to roughly fuck her quietly. Her moans fueled you to keep going. The two of you could feel every inch of your cock rubbing against her velvety tight walls. The sensation is becoming too much for Saerom to bear, her orgasm steadily building.

“Ahh, baby...” she moaned when she felt you pull out and re-enter her pussy. She wasn’t even given time to whine over the temporary loss of your cock as your tip finds a very sensitive spot.

“Awh, that’s too bad unnie. I wanted to wear the new sports bra and leggings I bought.”

“B-Baby! Slow down… Oh fuck!”

The feeling for Saerom is slightly painful, yet wonderful at the same time. Though she felt your cock throb once again by Nakyung’s statement, she doesn’t care. Each of your thrusts are filled with vigor, causing her to grit her teeth hard. Her toes curled from the pleasure, she knows your firm hold on her hips is the only thing supporting her at this point.Your pelvis meets hers, her soft flesh jiggling from the force. Despite wanting to spank her loudly as you know she loves it, you do so quietly so as to not let Nakyung hear. The effort seems moot, however, as Saerom’s moans and cries of pleasure are unexpectedly louder than usual. This position gives you full access to Saerom’s wonderful body, the result of a strict regimen and discipline. Saerom arches her back and her knees buckle as her body reacts to yours. She tries to find something to hold onto, anything that can act as an outlet from the consecutive bursts of pleasure. But each slam of your cock inside her means Saerom gets closer and closer to reaching her orgasm.

“N-Nakyung… can you… hold on a moment?”

You continue to thrust into her to the point of no return. Not caring that her phone was on speaker, all that mattered was the euphoric bliss of reaching her orgasm. Saerom screams as she finally climaxes. The pressure of her cum is so strong, it pushes your cock out of her pussy. Her body shakes as you watched her juices stained both of your thighs and the gray leather. Knowing you weren’t going to last much longer yourself, you entered Saerom’s still quivering pussy once more as your cock disappears between her ass cheeks with each thrust. A light layer of perspiration misted her beautiful backside as the pheromones being released caused an almost animalistic sense inside of you to awaken. Your left hand squeezes Saerom’s breast while your right tightly grips onto her wide hip. No longer caring that Nakyung could hear you both, Saerom releases a steady stream of loud moans and telling you to fuck her harder as the sounds of you penetrating her deafened the sounds of anything else.

“I’m… I’m gonna cum, mommy.”

“Fuck, fuck… fuck! Fuck mommy harder, baby! Keep fucking me hard just like that!”

With Saerom’s vulgar encouragement, you pushed your hips against hers until you felt your orgasm finally arrive. Thrusting into her deeply, your body shook - unloading into your girlfriend’s tight, warm pussy. Your cock throbbed inside her as you felt Saerom tighten around your shaft, milking you of rope after rope of semen into her wanton body. She flexed her beautiful back muscles for you as her moans of satisfaction could be heard. After giving you a bit of time to come down from your orgasmic high, Saerom slowly removed her body from your own.

You watched as thick gobs of your semen and her juices slowly dripped out of her freshly fucked pussy. You rubbed your tip against her hypersensitive clit, eliciting another mini orgasm and several violent aftershocks from her. Her lips quiver slightly from the amount of pleasure she was given. When the two of you are finished, you both catch your breath as Saerom turns around and pulls you down, causing you two to share tender, passionate kisses. Saerom breathes a sigh of relief, her eyes full of content and happiness from you.

“Unnie… when you and oppa are done sexercising, can you guys drop by the clinic?” Nakyung said while the two of you were still indulging in each other’s mouths.

“Sure thing, Naky.” you said without realizing, causing Saerom to smack you in the leg.

“Hi, oppa! I’ll be waiting for you guys. Seems like you fucked unnie good!” Nakyung teased as she ended the call.

Saerom’s big, beautiful eyes glared at you intensely as you leaned down and gave her another kiss. Despite her best efforts not to smile, she looked away as you peppered her face with quick pecks. Saerom then wraps her legs around you before flipping you over so that she is now on top. As you wrap an arm around her head and the other on her body, Saerom softly hits your chest.

“Want to go again?” you asked.

--

The location Nakyung sent to Saerom’s phone was easily obtainable by GPS. Surrounded by many high rise buildings, the clinic stood humbly sandwiched in between a residential complex and what you believed to be one of the biggest dance studios you have ever seen. Needless to say, you were a bit intimidated by the estimated value of the area. Saerom drags you by the hand - her carefree attitude a fierce juxtaposition to the woman who loves sex she becomes whenever you two were alone in private.

“Oh baby, this is where I go every week for dance class. Never realized there was a clinic next door.” Saerom said to you as the two of you stood between the two buildings.

“Is that so?” you said, raising an eyebrow. “So who do I have to thank there for giving my girlfriend such a nice body?”

Saerom giggled as you squeezed each cheek before giving her butt a firm smack. She hit your shoulder, a hint of shyness on her face at your sudden aggressiveness while in public. Her reserved nature was something you could never get used to, but it was nice to know your girlfriend had her soft moments. She chose to wear a skin tight, all black colored outfit. Her long sleeved top ended just before her abs and cute belly button you always teased Saerom about. Her black leggings left little to the imagination as you admired her long legs that showed off her well sculpted thighs and her round butt your hands were currently on. Completing the look were black clear heeled boots that almost blended in with her leggings.

“Why don’t you go inside first, baby? I want to ask the teacher what this week’s dance would be.” Saerom said. She tried breaking free from your embrace, but was unable to as you squeezed her butt harder and pushed her towards you. Saerom laughs, hitting your chest while you move your hands above her lower back and hold her tightly. The two of you stay in each other’s embrace for a few minutes before Saerom finally manages to escape. Heading towards the entrance to the dance studio, she is stopped when she feels you gently holding onto her wrist. You turned her around and placed both hands on her face before giving her a deep, long kiss. When Saerom opens her eyes, she blinks them several times repeatedly and has the biggest smile plastered on.

“I love you.” you said.

“I love you too, baby. I won’t be gone long.” Saerom replied before giving you one more peck and pressing the outdoor button to enter the studio.

--

Once Saerom was out of sight, you admired the clinic before you. It was a simple two story building. Despite still appearing in good condition, it was obviously on the older side compared to the modern architecture surrounding it.

“Okay Clinic…” you said, reading the sign aloud.

With uneasy steps, you entered the clinic alone. The receptionists’ desk and waiting room were barren - it was hard to believe there would be no patients in the middle of the day. Admiring the minimalist decor, you scan the area trying to find Nakyung. While doing so, you were unaware of the person sneaking up behind you.

“Guess who?” the person says while covering your eyes.

“You can’t just say guess who when I know it’s you instantly from your voice, Nakyung.” you said, turning around and extending your arms out for a hug. The two of you have been friends for many years - first meeting each other on a blind date and deciding it would be better to keep things platonic.

“You’re no fun, oppa.” Nakyung replied, pouting as you pinched her cheek. For as long as you have known her, Nakyung had short, bobbed hair. Despite the brief period she went pink, it was easy to spot her out in a crowd due to her blonde hair. You question how long it has been since Nakyung is now sporting longer, darker colored hair. Her eyes were big and bright like Saerom’s, which often made it easy to read her facial expressions.

“Sounds like you and unnie had a good workout.” She teased, nudging you slightly.

“I’m never going to hear the end of this, will I…” you said, sighing.

“Nope! Just like you let me hear the end of you and unnie’s session, I will tease you about it until the end of time.”

Covering your face with your hands, you were embarrassed about the whole situation. It wasn’t like you or Saerom to be adventurous at all. Nakyung patted your shoulder before telling you to come with her as she led you to a plain white room with two comfortable looking chairs and a bed with fresh, unwrinkled sheets. You tilted your head and looked at Nakyung confused before she winked at you and headed for the door.

“Just wait here until the doctor is ready to see you. I hope you like the surprise, oppa.”

There wasn’t much to look at - well, nothing to look at really. You didn’t want to be on your phone, knowing you would dive far too deep into random videos and get distracted. You noticed the bed itself would have blended right into the walls were it not for the wooden bed frame and nightstand right next to it. The room seemed a bit too perfect, nothing out of the ordinary. Wanting to clear your head and not overthink things, you approached the nearby windows and stared off into the distance at the view of the surrounding buildings and cars passing by below.

“I thought I closed this door…” a slightly deep, feminine voice behind you could be heard saying. It was one you knew all too well. Surely this was a mistake. How is it possible that she is the doctor Nakyung forewarned you about? With hesitant steps, you slowly turned yourself around as your eyes focused on a pair of black heels. Moving up slowly, you saw a pair of long, creamy legs that were slightly covered by a lab coat and beautiful chestnut brown hair with blonde highlights. The woman had her hand on the doorknob, almost about to close the door when she raised her head and her eyes met yours.

“Gyuri?”

“Oppa…?”

You still aren’t sure what’s going on. Meeting up with your ex-girlfriend certainly wasn’t on the list of things to do today. The only thing you could think of in that moment was to get out of the room. Seeing an ex again usually never ends well. While the thought of jumping out of the window occurred to you, being on the second story and the resulting hospital bills that would come out of it proved to be not worth the trouble at all.

“I uh… Just remembered I left the stove on at home. I should get going.”

You quickly walk to the door to exit the room but are stopped as you feel a pair of hands wrap themselves tightly around you from behind. Gyuri tilts her face to the side as she refuses to let you go. It was the same tactic she used whenever you two had an argument and she knew it was her fault. Your shirt began to get stained with Gyuri’s tears as she sobbed. Despite all that has passed and the terms in which your breakup happened, it always hurt you seeing her cry. You could feel her entire body reacting as you managed to loosen the grip she had on you. The moment you did so, Gyuri hugged you once more while crying into your chest.

“O-Oppa… don’t leave me. Please.”

“Gyuri, I don’t think…”

“Oh, Saerom unnie! You’re here!”

Hearing Nakyung and Saerom’s voices close by, you removed Gyuri’s hold on you once more and sat down on one of the sofa chairs. Gyuri’s eyes were slightly puffy, but she was able to quickly compose herself as the two women finally entered the room.

“Baby!” Saerom exclaimed as she ran towards you and jumped onto your lap, giving kisses all over your face before wrapping her arms around your neck. You smiled at her, but your eyes couldn’t help meeting Gyuri’s. They lost the brightness they usually had, sadness filling them up as she continued to see how happy your girlfriend was.

“Unnie, you’re here too. I was looking all over for you.” Nakyung said to Gyuri. 

It seemed to fall on deaf ears though, as Gyuri continued to stare at you and Saerom. Despite her claims of having never been jealous, you used to always tease Gyuri whenever she gave you one word answers or pouted after you talked to another female. More often than not, there was always silent treatment until you cooked for her or tried to do a cute, yet embarrassing dance for her to lift her spirits.

“So… Why did you call us here, Gyuri?” Saerom asked. Gyuri’s eyes widened as she felt all the attention on her before shaking her head and assuming a formal expression.

“I called you both here today because I need your help, miss Saerom. I’m conducting an experiment and would like you two to be volunteers.”

“What experiment exactly?” you asked, as Saerom dismounted your lap and sat on the adjacent sofa chair. You weren’t sure, but you could have sworn you saw a slight smile on Gyuri’s face from said action. Clearing her throat, she continued.

“Miss Nakyung.” Gyuri said to her cute assistant. Getting the hint, Nakyung waved to the both of you before closing the door. The situation gets a bit more tense once Gyuri locks it. You and Saerom looked at each other - confused, yet beginning to get suspicious.

“Oppa. Do you remember that day we had a date in the library?” Gyuri asked you, a haunting smile on her face.

“Um…” The awkwardness of being in the same room as your current and ex-girlfriend was something you hoped would never happen. You were a bit hesitant to answer, especially with Saerom sitting next to you. “We had a lot of dates at the library.”

“Yes, but do you remember the one where I wasn’t wearing any panties and told you I wanted to study how to stimulate the human body… So I sucked your dick and you fucked me in that one area no one ever went to? God, I can still remember the feeling of your cum leaking out of me as we left.”

You turned to Saerom and saw she was gripping onto one of the sofa chair’s armrests quite tightly. Her large eyes could probably pierce pure steel with how focused they were on Gyuri. You moved your hand slightly as you wanted to place it on top of hers and reassure her, but second guessed yourself as Saerom finally spoke.

“Is there a reason why you brought up ancient history and have my boyfriend and I locked in an empty room with you?” Saerom asked coldly.

“I’m glad you asked.” Gyuri said, smirking. Taking her phone out of her lab pocket, she scrolled briefly before turning it landscape mode, pressing play and handing it to Saerom. You leaned towards your girlfriend as the two of you watched Gyuri naked on top of a man. The two of you winced slightly as the sounds of Gyuri slapping his face could be heard.

Saerom’s hands were on her thighs as she grabbed handfuls of the skin tight leggings covering them. It was strange seeing her so nervous - you were used to the radiant, confident girlfriend who seemed like she feared nothing. But as the two of you watched the man in the video being used by Gyuri, you could do nothing to help as Saerom’s facial features easily transitioned into fear and doubt.

“That was p-p-pretty hot… but why did we just watch you h-have s-sex with a guy?” Saerom stuttered. Gyuri smirked, knowing she had gotten into Saerom’s head.

“My experiment is what parts of the body or techniques are the most effective in getting as much cum out of a man as possible.”

Grabbing her phone from Saerom’s lap, she bends just enough for her face to be near your ear. She blows a puff of air near you, causing the hairs on the back of your neck to rise. “I imagined that it was you I was riding. How hard your cock always got inside my mouth. The way it throbbed in me whenever we had sex in public places. Just so you know, my pussy is even tighter now, baby.”

“A-And you want us to be your test subjects?” You asked after clearing your throat.

“That's correct. Unless… your girlfriend here is scared that that loose pussy of hers isn't able to get you to cum?” Gyuri suggested to Saerom, crossing her arms.

It seemed Saerom had had enough. Her hands firmly hold on Gyuri’s slim wrists as she throws her onto the sofa chair next to you. She heads for the bed, but not before making a show of it, running her hands through the curvature of her butt before they make their way to her abs. She flips her hair in a seductive manner, as she bites on her lower lip and flashes you fierce bedroom eyes.

“You.” Saerom said, summoning you by pointing her finger towards her as she removes her boots. “Sit on the edge of the bed and put your cock in my mouth. Now.”

You were never one to keep a woman waiting, especially now with you and Saerom having another pair of eyes as an audience. The ferocity in her eyes scared you, yet aroused you at the same time as Saerom got on her knees. Not even a second after you sit on the edge of the bed like she asked, Saerom makes quick work of yanking your pants down to your ankles, hurriedly removing them before you see they are tossed to a faraway corner of the room. 

Saerom pulled on the hemline of your boxer briefs and freed your cock from its cotton confines. You moaned softly as she peppers your cock with kisses, starting from the base until she reaches the tip. Gripping your shaft with her hand, you watched your girlfriend’s wet tongue swirl around in a counterclockwise motion. From the initial contact, your head is sensitive. Her large, round eyes remained focused on yours as she prepared you for oral sex.

You have had the pleasure of being inside Saerom’s mouth many, many times. It was one of the first things she did once the two of you agreed to be mutually exclusive to one another. While many were filled with raw lust and a race to get you to reach your orgasm quickly, you enjoyed whenever Saerom wanted to spend the day in bed having lazy, sensual sex. There were some days she would just tease you by spending the morning edging you with her mouth. She was never opposed to risque or public sex: it just was something that was never brought up.

Saerom then tugs on your balls and brings them downwards, spitting a large amount of saliva onto your shaft. Normally, Saerom would take her time. Teasing you as a means of building up the intimacy and lust inside you both. But it seems Gyuri’s mocking tone and the fact that you had history with her has awakened something inside Saerom. Perhaps it was always there, never needing to be released. Until now.

You let out a fully content sigh as Saerom finally takes you inside her mouth.

It was as if a large amount of pressure had been released all at once. Her tongue attached itself onto the underside of your cock as she made wave patterns on your length. She made sure to swipe your leaking slit each time, knowing it was one of your favorite things she does. The pleasure causes you to close your eyes, with your hands finding the back of Saerom’s head on their own. You felt a sharp pain quickly course through your body as you open your eyes and see the teeth marks Saerom has left on your cock.

“Mommy is in charge, baby. Which means no touching me while I suck your dick.” It seemed Gyuri really angered Saerom, with your girlfriend wanting to prove she is much better at pleasing you. You nodded slowly as Saerom resumed bobbing her head between your legs. You certainly weren’t one to challenge her. Especially while her hot, wet mouth was providing a wonderful feeling.

All you could do was close your eyes and savor Saerom’s mouth on your cock. She bobs her head and takes an extra inch each time, as you feel more of your shaft covered with her saliva. The feeling of her tongue drawing random shapes and even letters on the head of your cock is blissful. Saerom massages your thighs in order to get you to loosen up as she pleasures you like she did earlier this morning.

Saerom’s eyes are filled with heavy desire as you look down once more and think about how beautiful your girlfriend was, and how lucky you were to call her yours. Her eyes formed crescents as she managed to form a smile at you. Bobbing her head a few more times, Saerom removes your shaft painfully slowly from her mouth, much to your disappointment. You watched as your cock was thoroughly covered in her saliva, several thin strands were connected from your tip to her red lips and chin.

“Mommy wants to ride you, baby.”

Saerom immediately pounces on top of you, pushing you onto the bed as the two of you exchange in fierce kisses. You wanted to be the dominant one, but that notion quickly fails as her tongue overpowers yours while she roughly bites on your lower lip.

She continues kissing you as the two of you managed to help strip each other. Buttons fly off your shirt as she almost rips it off your body. You wanted nothing more than to reciprocate the favor and rip a hole in her leggings, but Saerom muscular thighs keep you locked in place. You were helpless as your girlfriend has you under her spell. Once she removed the last few pieces of clothing, one of which being a very skimpy thong, your eyes were graced with her wanton body. She was the perfect mix of toned and curvy, not an imperfection in sight. Saerom plants her chest against yours, the feeling of her nipples beginning to harden as she gives you a final, pleasure-filled kiss.

You could have stared at her wonderful proportions all day long if possible. But the thought of being inside Saerom caused your cock to throb with excitement. Saerom giggled, giving you a few strokes before placing her hands on your chest and turning herself around. Long hours at the gym were now on display as you were met with her muscular back. Saerom’s round, full cheeks were enticing - you wanted to squeeze each one and give them firm smacks. But she was the one in control. You knew there was nothing worse than an already angry woman being even angrier.

“Oooh, baby…” Initially thinking the words came from Saerom’s lips, you looked nearby at the sofa chair and saw Gyuri’s legs spread open as her hand descended down her body. You almost forgot she was in the room with you both, Saerom’s control over you making it easy to only focus on her. Her skin was just as smooth and creamy as Saerom’s - a trait you were slightly worried you were able to easily recognize. Forming the letter v with her fingers, she places her lips in between them. A dangerously erotic moan escapes her rosy pink lips as you watched Gyuri touching herself. Her eyes were half open, as they began to ascend upwards towards the back of her head.

While Saerom would have normally teased you by hitting the tip of your cock on her lips, or rubbing them against you to get you lubricated, she wasted no time by raising her hips and lowering herself onto you.

“Fuck…” the two of you moaned out at the initial penetration. Your eyes immediately closed as Saerom let the pleasure of you being inside course through her. Her hips grinded against your body as she quickly finds a comfortable pace, the lubrication from her saliva and natural juices making it easy to be welcomed inside Saerom’s tight body. Her wide hips which you enjoyed so much moved in a circular motion, allowing you to feel all of her. It was safe to say both of you loved her body.

“Oh baby, fuck… you feel so good inside mommy.” Saerom moaned, throwing her head back as she moved her body up and down your cock. A thin layer of sweat began to form as the temperature of her body began to increase. Sounds of her pussy being sheathed by your shaft and her plump, round ass against your thighs filled the room as Saerom gave into her lust-filled moans, letting out erotically charged laughs as well.

“Fuck her harder, baby.”

You managed to move your eyes slightly as you saw your ex-girlfriend fingering herself. Her face is flushed - you aren’t sure if it’s more from her own self pleasure or the fact she was watching you fuck another woman. Whatever the case may be, Gyuri has stuck another finger inside herself while her other hand is busy rubbing her sensitive nub.

The temporary distraction is short lived, as Saerom continues bouncing herself repeatedly on top of you. A bit disappointed you weren’t able to fondle her breasts or slap them, her tight, hot, wet pussy makes all of your troubles go away. The only thing the two of you could focus on is the pleasure emanating from between both of your legs.

“Baby, do you love how tight mommy is?” Saerom asked, knowing full well what your answer would be.

Gyuri’s moans were a slightly lower register than Saerom’s, yet no less erotic. The background noise of her pleasuring herself while moaning out your name proved to be motivating, filling you with motivation to extract as much desire from both women in the room, albeit in different ways.

You were going to assist Saerom in whatever way you could in order to prove Gyuri wrong. Her plump ass slams down against your body as she uses all of her energy into getting the most amount of pleasure from you both.

“Fuck…!” Saerom screams as she continues bouncing on your cock. Her hands make their way to your chest as she braces herself. Your normally vanilla girlfriend had a new side awakened in her - a lust filled vixen who probably wouldn’t care if the room was currently filled full of people. All that mattered was the pleasure gradually building up inside her, letting it be known by the increasing volume of her heavy moans.

“Baby, fuck… I’m gonna cum. Mommy’s gonna cum so hard on your cock!”

Saerom lets out an ear shattering scream as the orgasm hits her all at once. Her body quivers as she feels the pleasure shoot upwards in her spine. Her toes curl while she holds onto your chest for support. Her juices liberally coat your cock as you feel the hot, tight, wet flesh grip onto your length. Her orgasm is so intense that it begins to coat both of your thighs.

Heavy breaths and a heaving chest are what Saerom does as she recovers from her intense orgasm. With your cock still inside her, she turns her body around so that you were both facing each other. Exhaustion painted on both of your faces, you smile at each other as you can feel her pussy having smaller pulsing aftershocks. As Saerom lowers her face and is about to capture your lips once more, she suddenly screams as you feel her being forcibly removed from your cock. The sensation is slightly painful as you regain your senses and see that Gyuri has tied your girlfriend’s wrists behind her back.

“What the fuck are you doing? I was just about to kiss him and keep going!” Saerom screamed in anger.

“I couldn’t just sit back and watch you fuck him. Now, it’s my turn to finish this experiment.” Gyuri replied, grabbing Saerom’s thong and stuffing it into her mouth. Taking off her lab coat, Gyuri straddles your lap and repeats Saerom’s initial action. She uses all of her strength and flips you both so that her back is now on the bed and having you on top of her.

“Fuck me, baby. Please. Fuck me like you used to. Fuck me like you fuck her now.”

Gyuri doesn’t give you much time to process what is currently happening as she grips your still erect cock and lines it up with her drenched lips. Almost as if it was drawn to you, her pussy requires little effort in order to part itself and allow you entry.

You might have been feeling nostalgic, but there was something about re-entering Gyuri’s pussy after years being away from it that felt familiar. Tight, wet, velvet-like - all words you could use to describe Gyuri, but just as easily Saerom.

She closes her eyes, the feeling of you being inside her overwhelming all of her senses at once. Wrapping her legs around your waist, she pulls you down towards her and kisses you. Moaning inside your mouth, you surrender yourself to the woman you once loved.

Her pussy was tight, almost not wanting to let go of you as you began to withdraw yourself until only your tip remained. Pushing your hips forward, you re-enter her once more. Gyuri is drenched from teasing herself earlier, likewise you are lubricated from being inside Saerom. Relief is evident on her face, her entire body loosening up and relaxing as she moans due to your cock.

“Baby… fuck. I missed having you inside me.”

You have had the pleasure of being inside Gyuri many, many times previously. Each time was just as wonderful as the last. The two of you continued kissing each other as you continued thrusting inside her.

“Baby… keep g-going.” she panted inside your mouth.

She interlocks her fingers with yours as Gyuri’s body bounces below you as you continued fucking her. It doesn’t take long until she orgasms, you feel her walls quivering slightly until they tighten around your cock and another set of juices coating you once more. It seems it is just as intense as Saerom’s, her thighs holding onto your waist for support as she pulls you closer to her. She gives you another kiss, this time much softer. It was almost as if she was thanking you for helping her achieve bliss.

“K-Keep fucking me, baby. D-Don’t stop until you cum in me.”

It seems her walls also refuse to let you go as you resumed fucking Gyuri. You held onto her delicious looking hips as the tightness of her pussy is almost overwhelming. It squeezes every inch of your shaft in a way that Saerom’s hadn’t.

“Oh my god… baby.” Gyuri cooed after a deep thrust inside her.

Every entrance and exit out of her wanton body caused her inner muscles to tighten around you. Even though you were the one mainly in control, you could have sworn you felt Gyuri’s body pushing back against you.

“A-Are you close, baby?” Gyuri asked, exhaustion in her voice.

You knew it was only a matter of time, your own orgasm was fast approaching. You quickened your pace, both of your bodies colliding with each other as skin smacked against skin in a satisfying way. The bed below you both creaking loudly as you felt the friction between the two of you from how fast you were both fucking each other. Gyuri’s repeated moans along with her telling you to fuck her harder and faster are all that it takes for you to reach your tipping point.

One final deep thrust inside Gyuri causes the two of you to moan loudly as your shaft throbs and her walls pulsate and tighten around you as you release thick, hot semen inside her. The orgasm causes you to give several slightly weaker thrusts as she drains you. Feeling a bit lightheaded and exhausted from having to fuck two women back to back, you wipe the sweat on your forehead with the back of your hand and look down to see Gyuri - fully content, her dark brown eyes almost amber-like in color from the satisfaction you have given her.

You catch your breath as she smiles through her eyes like she always did after the two of you were intimate, her soft hands gently cupping your face as you kiss each other once more.

--

Gyuri stands alone in the balcony, the slightly chilly night time breeze a cool relief on her still slightly flushed face.

She admires the lights of the nearby buildings and cars passing by below. As she tries to read a fluorescent sight of a business far away, she feels a blanket draped over her shoulders as you appear next to her, smiling and handing her a hot beverage cup with a sleeve.

“It’s your favorite. Hot chocolate with a bunch of marshmallows.” you said.

“You always did know how to take good care of a woman.”

Both of you sipped on the hot liquid, a satisfied hum coming from Gyuri as your bodies begin to warm up.

“Where’s… Saerom?” She asked, a bit hesitant. Through all of your years knowing her, Gyuri was never one to be timid or shy.

“She’s talking to Nakyung. Something about the both of them wanting to get massages or something. You know, girl talk. Guess Nakyung knows someone.” you said, shrugging your shoulders while taking another sip.

“Oppa, I…”

“It really was nice seeing you again, Gyuri.” Despite you interrupting her train of thought, she turned to you and listened intently. “After you broke up with me, I had so many questions. I couldn’t understand why. Was it my fault? Did I not give you enough love?”

“Oppa…”

“But reminiscing on the old days, us having sex again. I’m… thankful. We can’t go back to how things were. But the nostalgia - how your skin felt. The lotion you still use. How your kisses gave me butterflies each time. How you made me feel comfortable around you. It was… nice.”

Gyuri was smiling, and despite her face not being that visible in the dark, you were able to see tears streaming down her face.

“Am I… getting rejected by you?”

“You’ll find someone better than me.”

Gyuri grabs onto your shirt, tiptoeing and pulling you down towards her as she gives you a kiss. You stood there, stunned, as you felt her pour her emotion through the connection of your lips. Both of you opened your eyes when her lips left yours, a soft sadness in her eyes betraying her warm smile. She fixes the knot on your tie and returns to looking out at the city skyline.

“I’m glad you’re both happy together, baby. Hopefully she shows you as much love as you gave me.”

[bamf-jaskier]

What the fuck are the Trials

Since the show is based on the books and not the games, and more people are more familiar with the games that the books, I thought it might be helpful to sort of officialize the posts I’ve done about specific topics in the books. 

Here are the previous posts on Triss&Geralt as well as Coën

TLDR: So looking at this process, according to the books the way a Witcher becomes, well a Witcher looks like this:

There is the Choice which is the decision to become a Witcher made when you are a child

Eat a lot of magic mushrooms that give you the strength and ability Witchers are known for

Then the Trial of the Grasses which is a concoction of mutagenic elixirs injected into the bloodstream which mutates you into a Witcher

Then finally there are the Changes. This is a big step and one that requires a mage. This is when the hormones are changed and a Witcher becomes permanently sterile

then there is training until you earn your medallion and BOOM, out onto the path with you

Now, have a post about what the trials are as far as the books are concerned

It’s important to note that in the books, The Witcher are a dying breed so the Trials are really only mentioned in Blood of Elves when Ciri trains with the Witchers and the two prequels, Sword of Destiny and The Last Wish. 

Let’s start out with the basics of the Trials, here is a passage from Blood of Elves where Triss is wondering why the Witchers at Kaer Morhen are being so secretive in regards to Ciri:

“It’s obvious. They want to mutate the child, subject her to the Trial of Grasses and Changes, but they don’t know how to do it. Vesemir was the only witcher left from the previous generation, and he was only a fencing instructor. The Laboratorium, hidden in the vaults of Kaer Morhen, with its dusty demi-johns of elixirs, the alembics, ovens and retorts… 

None of the witchers knew how to use them. The mutagenic elixirs had been concocted by some renegade wizard in the distant past and then perfected over the years by the wizard’s successors, who had, over the years, magically controlled the process of Changes to which children were subjected. And at a vital moment the chain had snapped. 

There was no more magical knowledge or power. The witchers had the herbs and Grasses, they had the Laboratorium. They knew the recipe. But they had no wizard.”

Later:

“And now they want to mutate the girl but can’t. And that might mean… They may ask me to help. And then I’ll see something no living wizard has seen, I’ll learn something no living wizard has learned. Their famous Grasses and herbs, the secret virus cultures, the renowned, mysterious recipes…”

Now, what Triss doesn’t realize is that Geralt and the others are not planning on subjecting Ciri to the trials at all but are instead trying to hide Ciri’s magical ability from Triss. They are worried she will report them to the Chapter. 

Of course, until they tell Triss this, she is deeply suspicious and goes on to talk about the mushrooms Witchers have access to which are extremely unique. 

“Of course, thought Triss. They’re feeding her those legendary cave saprophytes – a mountain plant unknown to science – giving her the famous infusions of their mysterious herbs to drink. The girl is developing quickly, is acquiring a witcher’s infernal fitness. Naturally, without the mutation, without the risk, without the hormonal upheaval. But the magician must not know this. It is to be kept a secret from the magician. They aren’t going to tell me anything; they aren’t going to show me anything.”

Later:

“I don’t give a fig for your trust, witchers. There��s cancer out there in the world, smallpox, tetanus and leukaemia, there are allergies, there’s cot death. And you’re keeping your “mushrooms”, which could perhaps be distilled and turned into life-saving medicines, hidden away from the world. You’re keeping them a secret even from me, and others to whom you declare your friendship, respect and trust. Even I’m forbidden to see not just the Laboratorium, but even the bloody mushrooms!”

Triss as a mage has extreme bias against the Trials and for good reason! Most of the populace doesn’t have access to any information on the Trials outside of vague ideas but Mages have access to first hand accounts such as this from Blood of Elves: 

“On the third day all the children died save one, a male barely ten. Hitherto agitated by a sudden madness, he fell all at once into deep stupor. His eyes took on a glassy gaze; incessantly with his hands did he clutch at clothing, or brandish them in the air as if desirous of catching a quill. His breathing grew loud and hoarse; sweat cold, clammy and malodorous appeared on his skin. Then was he once more given elixir through the vein and the seizure it did return. This time a nose-bleed did ensue, coughing turned to vomiting, after which the male weakened entirely and became inert.

For two days more did symptoms not subside. The child’s skin, hitherto drenched in sweat, grew dry and hot, the pulse ceased to be full and firm – albeit remaining of average strength, slow rather than fast. No more did he wake, nor did he scream.

Finally, came the seventh day. The male awoke and opened his eyes, and his eyes were as those of a viper…”

~Carla Demetia Crest, The Trial of Grasses and other secret Witcher practices, seen with my own eyes, manuscript exclusively accessible to the Chapter of Wizards

When most people think of the Trials, they are thinking similarly to Queen Calanthe in Sword of Destiny. 

Here is what Calanthe says to Geralt when talking about what he might do with his child surprise: 

“You are astonished,’ she stated. ‘Well, I’ve studied a little. Since Pavetta’s child has the chance of becoming a witcher, I went to great pains. My sources, Geralt, reveal nothing, however, regarding how many children in ten withstand the Trial of the Grasses. Would you like to satisfy my curiosity in this regard?’

‘O Queen,’ Geralt said, clearing his throat. ‘You certainly went to sufficient pains in your studies to know that the code and my oath forbid me from even uttering that name, much less discussing it.’

Calanthe stopped the swing abruptly by jabbing a heel into the ground. ‘Three, at most four in ten,’ she said, nodding her head in feigned pensiveness. 

‘A stringent selection, very stringent, I’d say, and at every stage. First the Choice and then the Trials. And then the Changes. How many youngsters ultimately receive medallions and silver swords? One in ten? One in twenty?”

Later Calanthe asks Geralt:

“Do you believe a Child of Destiny would pass through the Trials without danger?’

‘We believe such a child would not require the Trials.’

‘One question, Geralt. Quite a personal one. May I?’

He nodded.

‘There is no better way to pass on hereditary traits than the natural way, as we know. You went through the Trials and survived. So if you need a child with special qualities and endurance… Why don’t you find a woman who… I’m tactless, aren’t I? But I think I’ve guessed, haven’t I?’

‘As usual,’ he said, smiling sadly, ‘you are correct in your deductions, Calanthe. You guessed right, of course. What you’re suggesting is impossible for me.’

‘Forgive me,’ she said, and the smile vanished from her face. ‘Oh, well, it’s a human thing.’

‘It isn’t human.’

‘Ah… So, no witcher can—’

‘No, none. The Trial of the Grasses, Calanthe, is dreadful. And what is done to boys during the time of the Changes is even worse. And irreversible.”

Later:

“The risks are too great,’ Geralt said quickly. ‘As you said. At most, four out of ten survive.’

‘Dammit, is only the Trial of the Grasses hazardous? Do only potential witchers take risks? Life is full of hazards, selection also occurs in life, Geralt. Misfortune, sicknesses and wars also select. Defying destiny may be just as hazardous as succumbing to it. Geralt… I would give you the child. But… I’m afraid, too.’

Then in The Last Wish, Geralt describes his own experiences with The Trials:

“Kaer Morhen…That's where the likes of me were produced. It's not done anymore; no one lives in Kaer Morhen now. No one but Vesemir. Who's Vesemir? My father. Why are you so surprised? What's so strange about it? Everyone's got a father, and mine is Vesemir. And so what if he's not my real father? I didn't know him, or my mother. I don't even know if they're still alive, and I don't much care.

“Yes, Kaer Morhen. I underwent the usual mutation there, through the Trial of Grasses, and then hormones, herbs, viral infections. And then through them all again. And again, to the bitter end. Apparently, I took the changes unusually well; I was only ill briefly. I was considered to be an exceptionally resilient brat…and was chosen for more complicated experiments as a result. They were worse. Much worse. But, as you see, I survived. The only one to live out of all those chosen for further trials. My hair's been white ever since. Total loss of pigmentation. A side effect, as they say. A trifle.

“Then they taught me various things until the day when I left Kaer Morhen and took to the road. I’d earned my medallion, the Sign of the Wolf's School. I had two swords: silver and iron, and my conviction, enthusiasm, incentive and…faith. Faith that I was needed in a world full of monsters and beasts, to protect the innocent. As I left Kaer Morhen, I dreamed of meeting my first monster. I couldn't wait to stand eye to eye with him. And the moment arrived.”

So looking at this process, according to the books the way a Witcher becomes, well a Witcher looks like this:

There is the Choice which is the decision to become a Witcher made when you are a child

Eat a lot of magic mushrooms that give you the strength and ability Witchers are known for 

Then the Trial of the Grasses which is a concoction of mutagenic elixirs injected into the bloodstream which mutates you into a Witcher 

Then finally there are the Changes. This is a big step and one that requires a mage. This is when the hormones are changed and a Witcher becomes permanently sterile

then there is training until you earn your medallion and BOOM, out onto the path with you

This is why it’s such a big deal that Triss was brought to Kaer Morhen. Without a mage, someone cannot become a full Witcher and Triss believed that was why she was there. Of course, this wasn’t true but it’s a valid concern to have. 

One thing I want to note, there is absolutely NOTHING in the text that says that being a Witcher is limited to any sort of gender boundary. The fact that Triss so readily jumped to Ciri becoming a Witcher and the fact that Geralt didn’t specify  boys until he was talking about the sterilization process...well, there is a likelihood female Witchers actually existed. 

Again, in the books Witchers are a dying breed and you can literally count on one hand the number of Witchers we meet. Of course, considering mages are the ones who made Witchers, it makes sense that female Witchers are either strongly discouraged, banned or simply not talked about. 

One big point Triss has against Ciri’s training is that she won’t “develop” correctly like a woman “should” due to the mushrooms and harsh training and considering how so many northern mages place importance on beauty I could definitely see mages not wanting to have female Witchers, considering it a “perversion”. 

Just a fun thought I often have about the books that I haven’t seen anyone point out. 

So overall, here is what the books have to say about the Trials, it’s a touch different from the games but I find this very fascinating and interesting. Let me know if you want me to do a specific topic or relationship next, but for now, thanks for reading!

[adelaidedrubman]

👾 — video games, 🌍 — knowledge of the world, ⚓️ — sailing for Jestiny; 🎵 — singing, 👊 — fighting, 🔧 — engineering/mechanics for Jenna

THANK YOU BELOVED sorry these took an eternity!!

👾 — video games

jessie has little to no experience with video games, she’s never really been able to afford a console or a decent computer, and even if she had the extra cash video games wouldn’t be the first thing on her list to spend it on. so she probably hasn’t had much experience beyond the occasional arcade game. i think if she did give them a try, she’d be fairly decent — she has extremely good hand eye coordination and reaction speed. however, her competitive nature would be a double edged sword — little miss “whatever, i could do that if i wanted to” is going to get very upset when she’s not instantly better than everyone and let it rattle her and throw her off rhythm so that she does even worse, then she’ll go on a tirade about how video games are rich people bullshit and don’t mean anything and only losers and assholes play them, then act like she didn’t just through a tantrum and everyone else is being uptight about the situation, actually.

tl;dr: she’s not a hot gamer girl.

🌍 — knowledge of the world

in terms of experiential knowledge, very little. she’s never been out of the country save for a quick trip over the border to canada to go bar hopping for her eighteenth birthday, other than that all her travel has been domestic, and even that’s been fairly limited. and as for education on the world generally, like with most things, the knowledge she does have is fairly sporadic and fragmented. her formal education was subpar and interrupted, but she is a skilled learner and absorbs knowledge very easily and for the most part eagerly. so she’s definitely not ignorant, although she may be unaware of certain things that would seem obvious — and then pull out an obscure fact she’s picked up in the same conversation.

⚓️ — sailing

she would deride you for even asking the question. who the fuck goes sailing? in 2018? what kind of rich people bullshit is that?

she can operate a jon boat (yes, she hates that they’re called that) and knows some sailing knots, that’s as close as her skill set gets.

🎵 — singing

music has never been her personal passion or something she’s studied professionally, but i would say she has some singing skill! she’s never had vocal training, but she does have a very naturally pleasant singing voice and can carry a tune. you can often find her singing along to her bubblegum pop background music as she works. she’s good enough that on the occasions he’s acutely troubled by jenna’s rather obvious lack of actual spirituality, joseph will attempt to inspire more earnest religious devotion by pressuring her to join the choir. she always respectfully but firmly declines — while singing can be fun for her to do absentmindedly, she thinks there are far more interesting things to dedicate her time and energy to, and beyond that she prefers to be a spectator over having an audience herself. she’ll do the occasional duet with faith, though.

👊 — fighting

(she works out at the library and etc.)

she knows only the very basics of self defense and combat readiness taught to all project members during initiation, and frankly even on that she probably skirted by and learned less than the average peggie as her usefulness was elsewhere. she does make sure to take care of her body in all aspects, and getting regular exercise is part of that. but while she’s in shape i wouldn’t say she’s particularly athletic, and physical combat has just never been of interest to her. if she were to do well in a fight, it would be less on account of any physical prowess and more thanks to her ability to maintain cool under pressure, analyze and react to situations intelligently, and her knowledge of the human body and its weaknesses.

🔧 — engineering/mechanics

she probably knows more than the average layperson — she understands the physics behind how machinery functions and what chemical reaction occur to generate power. but it’s far enough removed from her field i wouldn’t call her an expert, and it’s not something she’s really practiced at. she’s proficient enough to say, fix the centrifuge in her lab on her own, but that’s about it.