#its not very angsty but thats because i hate angst

[faun-the-fawn77]

"𝕃𝕀ℙ𝕊 𝕆𝔽 𝔸ℕ 𝔸ℕ𝔾𝔼𝕃"

Lucifer Morningstar x F!Angel!Reader

Genre: fluff and angst

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: manipulation, gaslighting, fluff so sweet it'll hurt your teeth, ooc(?) Lucifer, reader hates Lilith, Lilith is a bitch, and so is Michael

Part Two

Desc: When Lucifer Fell, it wasn't because of his ideals or that he "fell in love" with Lilith OR that he tempted Eve with the Apple. Lilith was poison from the start and manipulated him into giving Eve the apple. He was devoted to one person in creation and that was his wife, Y/N. He was devastated when he Fell and when Lilith told him that Y/N couldn't love him anymore? That broke him. After years of no contact with Heaven, Lucifer let his daughter, Charlie, attend one of the meetings with Heaven for him. What Charlie didn't expect was for her fathers ex(?)lover to be there with Adam and Lute. Or that Charlie would learn more about her mother. She made sure her father would get back in contact with his long lost love. Lucifer got a phone call that night from someone... in Heaven? Now who could that be?

Note: Sorry for the long description but like- I need you guys to have context for my stories, especially song fics. I want to jump right into the music and writing so you guys will be getting extended summaries. Hope you stick around!

Another note: Poll at bottom once ur done reading! be sure to read the note at the end:)

Honey, why you calling me so late?

It’s kinda hard to talk right now

Honey, why you crying, is everything okay?

I gotta whisper ‘cause I can’t be too loud

The abrupt sound of “Highway To Hell” By AC/DC ringing out into the night is what woke the Devil from his slumber. He patted around the black wooden night stand for the loud contraption. His bleary eyes wincing at the brightness of the screen, he saw that the beginning of the number starts with (444). Squinting his eyes, he ran a clawed hand through his bed head and sat up. Glancing back at Lilith and then at the number from Heaven, he sighed and slipped his robe on, stumbling out the door and into his study. 

“What in the unholy Hell is someone from Heaven calling me for…” He hesitated for a second before swiping up and answering the call. 

There was no sound on the other end for a while before Lucifer growled and gripped his phone tighter, “If this is some kinda prank then I won’t hesitate to-” 

“Luci..?”

Lucifer held his breath. His mind raced a mile a minute once that voice came through the line. He closed his eyes shut to prevent the onslaught of tears to fall from his red eyes.

“Luci…please.” His breathing picked up. This wasn’t real. Some fucked up motherfucker was playing some sorta sick prank on him. There’s no way his wi- Ex…wife was calling him. Him! He went to hang up, thumb hovering over the red button when that gentle voice came through again, “Luci, it’s really me. Please don’t go…”

Lucifer bit his lip. He let out a shaky breath and brought the phone to his pointed ear. The sound of her labored breathing could be heard, like she was trying to not cry. 

“Y/N/N? Is…is this really you?” Sniffles were heard from the other end before soft laughter followed. Lucifer fell down into the loveseat near the window in his study. 

“Yes Luci, it’s really me.” The sound of his wife’s voice made Lucifer melt into the loveseat. It’s been eons since he’s heard her voice… and now he wants nothing more than to see her. To feel her. Hug her. Do everything with her.

“Honey, why’re you calling so late? Can’t you see the stars right now?” A sound came from Lucifer and Lilith’s shared room which caused the little Devil to silence himself before speaking again in a whisper, “It’s kinda hard to talk right now. Sorry, honey.”

It was quiet for a few seconds before whimpers and sniffles sounded on the other end. Y/N was crying. His darling wife was upset. 

Not knowing what to do at that point of time, Lucifer shushed her gently, “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m right here. Is everything okay, honey? Why’re you crying?” Lucifer clutched his phone tightly. His eyes watered up at the thought of not being able to hold onto her. 

“I miss you, Luci. I miss you so much!” Her voice echoed in the study room. Lucifer pulled his phone away to listen, in case Lilith woke up from the noise. He put his phone back to his ear with a smile.

“I miss you too, darling. I’m sorry for being so quiet. I gotta whisper ‘cause I can’t be too loud at the moment.” Y/N hummed and he could hear the smile on her lips.

“Is it because of Charlie? Oh she is such a sweetie! Her and I-”

“Charlie? You met- How’d you meet Charlie?” Lucifer couldn’t fathom how his sweet apple met with his angelic wife. Y/N couldn't leave Heaven. After he Fell, he had heard from Adam that they kept Y/N on a tight leash to make sure she wouldn’t follow after him. 

“Oh! Said she had a meeting with Heaven! Said she and her wonderful girlfriend were sent by you to represent you!” That’s when it clicked. He had that phone call from Charlie a while back about wanting to go to Heaven to talk about her hotel to the higher-ups. Lucifer got her into Heaven that day. What he didn’t realise is that Charlie had a chance at meeting his wife. Or was she considered his ex? They never officially divorced and he and Lilith never married…

“Her idea is brilliant by the way,” Y/N whispered softly. This caught him by surprise. Surprise because he thought that his brother, Michael, would’ve brain washed her into thinking he was the bad guy. That he was evil incarnate.

“You…support it? Her dream?” Lucifer felt like shit. All this time, after hearing nonstop from his daughter about her hotel and plan, it took him getting a call from his wife to make him realize how shitty of a father he was. 

“I do.”

And that struck him in the heart. It was her first encounter with Charlie and she already supported her. Lucifer held a breath and released it after a few seconds. 

Well, my girl’s in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really move on

It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words, it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But, girl, you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

“It’s not because of Charlie…is it.” Lucifer perked up. 

“What?”

“The reason you have to be quiet.” Lucifer stilled. 

Lucifer couldn’t speak. The tone of voice Y/N had made him shiver. She sounded…numb. Empty. He knew then that she was referring to Lilith.

“She’s in the next room. She doesn’t know…” Lucifer couldn’t finish. He already hated this topic. Lilith was what caused this. Lucifer took a breath and whispered out, “I wish she was you, Y/N.”

He never moved on from Y/N. She was his everything. She will always be his one and only. His light. His angel. 

It was silent. Too silent. Lucifer chewed on his bottom lip with anxiousness. He knew when Y/N was upset and right now? Very upset. He remembered the first argument they had. Lucifer went down to the garden to welcome the two new humans his Father created. Adam was awed while Lilith had indifference. That intrigued Lucifer. Lucifer would talk to Adam about the stars while Lilith went off on her own to do whatever it is she does. One day, Lucifer followed after her. He found her in a flowering clearing with a pond. She was knelt next to it. Lucifer walked up to her and noticed that she was ripping the petals off the most beautiful of flowers.

“And why damage something with life that grew so beautifully?” Lilith looked up at the archangel and smirked. That should’ve been his first sign.

“They aren’t as beautiful as me though, right?” Lucifer hesitated before shaking his head. That should’ve been the second.

“No! You are… very pretty.” Lucifer didn’t want to get on this human’s bad side, “but that is no reason to rip off the petals. Envy is a sin.”

Lilith cackled at the last quip. If Lucifer had caught it, he would’ve realised that she was evil incarnate, not him. 

When Lucifer returned to Heaven after visiting the humans, he bumped into his wife at the Golden Gates. Her arms were crossed and her rosy lips were set into frown. 

“What’s wrong, my star?” Lucifer reached out only for Y/N to swat away the appendage. She glared at him and in a high pitched voice, mimicked Lilith, “They aren’t as beautiful as me though, right?”

Lucifer paled. He didn’t know she followed him down that day. He knew he was in the wrong. He should’ve stopped Lilith’s flirting. He should’ve stopped when he noticed how Lilith looked at him.

“Honey, I-”

“Save it. You should’ve known better, Lucifer. Women, even angelic ones like myself, are good at getting what we want.” Y/N walked off, back to their house. Lucifer felt terrible. He did know that. The angelic females in Heaven knew what they wanted and always got what they wanted, though what they wanted ranged from the sweetest things like new constellations or a new animal to be sent down to Earth that was of their own creation. 

“Lucifer, I di-”

“It’s really good to hear your voice, sweetheart. I can’t get enough of you saying my name again, even if we’re on a topic that upsets you,” Lucifer admitted. He could hear his wife choke a bit before giggling. 

“Oh yeah?”

Lucifer smirked, “Oh yes. Especially since they’re coming from the lips of a beautiful angel.”

He could hear her stuttering on the other end. He was proud of himself that he still had that effect on her. He was always the charismatic one. She was always the kind one. 

“I bet, Luci, that you’re still just as handsome as when you were here.” Lucifer felt his already reddened cheeks heat up more. Since when did his cute, shy, and sweet wife have this side to her?

“Hells, hearing you say that really makes me weak in the knees, sweetheart,” Lucifer groaned. His heart was beating faster and he felt his hands get clammy. He wanted her badly. 

Bed squeaking could be heard in the next room over which caused Lucifer to shut up. He waited with bated breath for the sound of footsteps but none ever came. He released the breath he was holding, running his claws through his tousled blonde hair. 

“I never wanna say goodbye, Luci,” Y/N’s voice sounded suddenly. Lucifer smiled. He never wanted this phone call to end either. He knew that next time there was a meeting with Heaven, he was going. 

It’s funny that you’re calling me tonight

And, yes, I’ve dreamt of you too

And does he know you’re talking to me?

Will it start a fight?

No, I don’t think she has a clue

Lucifer chuckled to himself. Something in himself thinks this is all a dream. That it’s not real. I mean, talking to his wife? He feels like he’s walking on clouds again.

“What’s so funny, mister?” And Hells, he’d never tire of her voice. 

“It’s just funny to me that I got a phone call from you of all angels. That you actually called after everything that happened…” Lucifer leaned back in the seat. His eyes shut and he rested his free hand over his eyes.

“Luci, I never believed Michael’s lies.” Lucifer sat up. His grip tightened on the black hellphone. 

“Never..? But I was told…”

“Whatever you were told was a lie. Lilith is a lying, manipulating bitch. When I saw her in the Garden with you I almost lost my cool. Do you know why she was so flirty? It’s because she saw me and wanted to piss me off. It worked, I’ll give her that.” Lucifer was stunned. Lilith knew? Y/N knew? Then why…

“I never told you because I wanted you to figure it out. I wanted you to realise how toxic she was. That she was using you to get to me. She knew you were the angel everyone talked about and wanted. And she wanted what others couldn’t have.” Lucifer felt that flicker of anger in his heart burst forth. His horns grew and his tail swished around angrily. His breathing was heavy. He wanted to storm into his bedroom and rid that piece of filth from existence!

“Luci! Don’t do anything yet…I have a plan.”

Lucifer settled down and sat back in the loveseat. He used his tail to hold the phone to his ear and clenched his fists to hold back the anger.

“What plan?”

“I can’t say right now… someone is listening.” Her voice lowered at the end. Lucifer understood that she was being watched so he kept his cool and changed topics. 

“You know…I’ve been dreaming of you. Every night since I fell.” Lucifer looked out the window of his study to see the blood red sky. The sight of Heaven made him sad. He wanted so badly to be up there with her once again.

“I’ve dreamt of you too, my light bringer.” Her voice was sweet. It was like honey and vanilla. Lucifer smiled. He could listen to her talk all day. Did he say that twice? Oh well, he was whipped.

“Does he… does Michael know you’re talking to me right now?” Lucifer almost regretted that question. 

“No, he doesn’t. He will when my plan goes through, though.” Lucifer smirked. He couldn’t wait to hear what his brother does when he learns that Y/N was talking to the Devil. He could already picture the steam blowing out his ears.

“And you’re positive that that witch doesn’t know that you are talking to me right now?” Lucifer chuckled at his wife’s bitterness at the mere mention of Lilith. 

“No, she doesn’t. She’s honestly a heavy sleeper.” Y/N hummed. That bit of info made her plan easier. 

“I want to talk more about Charlie! She’s just so sweet and she reminds me so much of you, hon.” Lucifer leaned forward in his seat and both started talking about the sweet creature that was Charlie Morningstar.

Well, my girl’s in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on

It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words, it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But, girl, you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

That was my first attempt at writing Lucifer and i might have made him a bit to sweet? idk i personally think he'd be supper sweet to wife reader after everything that happened.

HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY!!!!

also: if you want a part two... VOTE! I wanna expand on this universe a bit so I'll need to find songs to match. Music is my love so almost all my fics will involve music someway or another:)

[kumezyzo]

hii, its 🐇

i was wondering if i could make a request; sapnap secretly is head over heels for reader but only his friends know and they tease him for it, causing him to become a nervous wreck around reader

it can be headcanons or a fic i don't mind!! thank uu

again, super short, please dont hate me 😭 thank you for requesting this months ago 😭😭 i made it a little angsty as per my writing style, but i hope you dont mind. it gets a lil fluffy at the end. no real angst here 😁

anyway, enjoy! or dont :) m.list

crush!sap really just wants to be around you. he doesn't realize that doing that makes him short-circuit.

he becomes a blushing mess. he talks like a bumbling idiot. he laughs at all your jokes. it gets to the point where his heart rate speeds up with even the mention of your name. and he begins to think it isn't very healthy for him.

everyone around you seemed to know crush!sap was obsessed with you. whenever he made a move to stand closer to you, talk to you, or even just stare at you for too long, the people around you would share a knowing glance. until it got slightly annoying and they started teasing him

"sapnap, stop flirting with them and get your ass over here."

"oooh, they're flirting againnnn!"

"so then you- can you stop staring at them and pay attention??!"

and his reaction was always the same. blushing, looking away from you, and running away from you.

then, crush!sapnap truly started avoiding you. for his own medical safety. and you began to assume it was cause he didn't like being thought of as your bf.

but, you talked to him about it. cause that was the only way you thought it could quell your thoughts.

"hey, can we talk?"

"oh. um- uh- y-yeah, sure..."

"are you avoiding me?"

he was already blushing by you catching him off-guard. now, you had caught onto his plan and it made him feel a little sick.

"why would- ha- why would you say that?" he would ask nervously.

"look, its fine if you are... i guess. i just kinda wanted to know why..." you'd say awkwardly. he would just stare at you, opening his mouth to say something but shutting it over and over like a fish. "mostly because i like you and i recently started thinking you felt the same way. so if thats not the case and thats why you're avoiding me then-"

"no! no thats not why!" he would say nervously, trying to interupt you before the conversation went somewhere he could reverse. "its because i like you!"

you stare at him, puzzled. "...huh?"

"you make me go fucking crazy. all the time," he sighs. "and it actually hurts when i see you and i know you're not mine. so i would rather just... not see you all together..."

"oh..." butterflies would errupt in your stomach. and your heart would start beating abnormally hard. abnormally quickly. and you started to realize why he needed to get away from you.

happy ending, kisses and hugs. just realized i lowkey fucked up the tenses at the end... -nony

[diminuel]

My favorite Dragodile angst comes from Kuja!Crocodile. Everyone knows Dragon and Garp have hated each other for years, but Garp IS more or less a pseudo public figure and like of Dragon ever WANTED to or NEEDED to get in contact either him he very easily could it would not be hard.

But mid/post transition Croc? Doesn’t matter WHAT his relationship to his family USED to be — mother, grandmother, sisters, aunts, cousins — because he literally will NEVER be allowed to speak to or hear about any or them EVER again.

Cause even if Dragon wanted to be supportive (and he probably does! But hes also probably a little jealous.) its just. So far removed from any of his own personal experiences he literally cannot imagine it. Never being able to hear literally anything about Garp ever again? Thats the sort of monkeys paw wish that would land Dragon on mars.

I love angst~

Generally, Kuja!Crocodile has plenty of potential for angsty scenarios just given the fact that this love sickness curse (or whatever exactly it is) exists and that the Kuja do not allow men on their island. His only potential connection later on would be that Hancock is also a Warlord but she never attends meetings and probably wouldn't talk to him about what's been happening on Amazon Lily anyway.

(I don't think Garp and Dragon hate each other. They do still apparently talk on the phone enough to chat about Dragon meeting Luffy in Logue Town. That said, of course you can do whatever in fanfic *lol* Just like I'm putting Crocodile through all sorts of torments >:3)

[jawabear]

Could I request angsty with fem reader and Santiago Garcia (I think he fits this scenario the best, but also if you don’t want to write him any other of the triple frontier boys will do!), in which they’re both military and she just keeps getting herself in too much danger to get the job done, and he worries too much because he’s in love with her, but can’t take it anymore and leaves her? I think these 3 prompts fit well, but feel free to not include them if you don’t get inspired by them!!❤️

14. “You just don’t know when to quit, do you?”

15. “It’s just a scratch” “you got stabbed” “it didn’t go that deep though”

51. “I don’t want to be anywhere near you!”

Every sense of it

Captain John Price x Reader

Not my GIF

A/N: this is quite short and very angsty. I hope it’s okay? And what you were thinking of.

Genre: Angst

Warnings: fem!reader, hurt, crying, break up, mention of suicide (no one is suicidal, it’s used as a descriptor (?)), mentions of injury, if anything else let me know

Summary: John has had enough of being hurt

John hated working with you. He hated being put on missions with you. Hated having to watch you on the field fighting and killing your path through. You were too reckless. Yes, your methods, unconventional as they may be, worked well. They had never failed you and never failed the team. But they were unconventional. And dangerous. So very dangerous that Price would always go ahead, just so he didn’t have to watch and you always put yourself in the firing line. He was sure one day it would lead to your end and he couldn’t bare to watch that. 

You tested his patients constantly in debriefing. Always saying that you completed the mission so its fine. 

But it was not fine. It was never fine. John knew that injury was never inescapable on the battle field but the extent you walked away with was only supposed to be from a war. Yes, you had competed every mission you had been on. But the cost was always heavy on your body. Narrowly escaping with your life very time. 

And John was nearing his breaking point. Yes, he was your Captain and had a duty to protect you as a comrade. But he was also your lover. He had a duty to protect you as his girlfriend. What started off as a blissful, warm relationship had turned into the silent, cold one you had now. He couldn’t remember the last time he fucked you, or slept next to you, or even seen you in anything but casts, bandages and your uniform. It wasn’t a relationship anymore. Not in any sense of the word.

And thats what he hated the most. 

He loved you. He had loved you since the first moment he saw you. He distinctly remembered muttering to Gaz that he was going to marry you one day. And he had dreamt of that day ever since. To see you walking down the aisle to him, saying your vows, being his wife, maybe even going on to start a family. He would leave the army to raise his own squad of little ones with you. 

But the more he watched you out on the field, the further away that dream slipped from him. Every time you got beaten, or bruise, or missed death by a hair’s width, the laugh of his children disappeared on the wind. The smell of his home replaced by blood and gun powder. The sight of your wedding nothing more than a mud caked field covered in bodies you dropped as he hoped none of them were yours. 

Price stormed into the medical bay making everyone tense as he glared at you getting patched up from your latest hero act. “You just don’t know when to quit do you?” He growled. The nurse who was applying the gauze to your side audibly whimpered at the harshness of his tone. “Do you really have no regard for your own life?” 

“It’s fine” 

“No!” He barked. The nurse sat up and quickly scampered away, it was just the two of you now. “No. It is not alright. Nothing about that, about what you do is alright. If it was, you wouldn’t be in here getting patched up, yet again”

“Its not bad” you mumbled as you ran your hand over the fresh gauze. “Its just a scratch” 

John now stood right in front of you, his anger flooding out of him. His rage burning into the top of your head as you looked down. “You got fucking stabbed, (Y/N)”

“It didn’t go deep. I’ll survive” you shrugged. 

“For how long?” He questioned “because in my opinion, your days are fucking numbers. And I have a feeling its in the single fuckin’ digits now, love” 

“It’s the job, John. We do what we have to do”

“Don’t pull that shit on me” he pointed a sharp finger at you and shook his head “don’t get noble on me. What you do is not part of the job. Its fuckin’ suicidal. You need to think before you act or you will end up dead”

“If thats what it takes to complete the mission” 

John let out a laugh and stood back from you “fuck you. You really don’t care do you. You really don’t care about what happens to you or the people you’d leave behind. But if thats what you want for yourself, I’m not going to stand in your way. Or care. Or love you”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m done, love. I’m done with it all. With you and your sick ways of handling a mission. You’re too fucking reckless, careless and I’m sick of watching it. Sick of wondering at what point I’ll turn to see you dead in the grass or beaten so badly you may as well be dead. Its clear you don’t care, so I’m not wasting anymore time on caring about you either” 

He watched as tears fell from your eyes. He watched the way your bottom lips trembled. He wanted to wrap you up in his arms and tell you he was sorry and that he loved you. But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He had to stay true to his decision. 

“W-Wait, John. Can we…let’s talk about this” 

“And what good do you think that will do? We’ve spoke about it before. I’ve told you all this before yet you’re always surprised when I bring it up again. Let’s face it. You’re never going to change. So I can’t stand by you and watch it” 

“B-But I love you” your breathing began to pick up as you cried harder. Your heart burning in your chest “I love you John. I’m sorry! I’ll change! I will! Just please! Please don’t leave me!”

“No (Y/N)” he shook his head “you won’t” 

You stood and fell into his chest. Sobbing into his shirt and you grabbed at his back “no!” You screamed. “No! John please don’t leave me! I love you! I love you! I love you!” 

“(Y/N). Stop” he warned. 

“No! I won’t. Please John! You can’t leave me! I need you!”

“And I need you. I love you (Y/N). I’ve loved you since I first saw you. But how can I have you if you’re fuckin’ dead, eh?” He grabbed your shoulders and pushed you off him. 

You looked up at him, snot no doubt falling from your nose but you didn’t care. “I will change. I promise. I won’t do it anymore” 

John sucked his lips behind his teeth and shook his head “no. I can’t. I can’t trust your word. I can’t trust you. I don’t want to be with you. I don’t want to love you. I’m done” he sat you back down and turned. 

“You’re being selfish!” You yelled at him. You knew it would anger him. Your knew his blood was boiling but you had to keep him in there with you. To give you a change to persuade him that you would in fact change. Persuade him and you. 

“Selfish?” He said, his voice dripping venom as he turned in his heel. “Don’t fucking talk to me of selfish. You don’t have the right to say that to me. No right to say it to anyone with the way you act”

“But you’re thinking of yourself. Not how you’re making me feel…” it was a shitty thing to say. You hated yourself for saying it but you needed more time. More time to think about your words. 

“I. Don’t. Care.” He spat “I don’t care about how I’m making you feel. But now you know how it does feel. Now you have the smallest glimpse of how I feel when I see you piss assing about on the field, getting hurt, nearly getting killed. You deserve the hurt. But I don’t. I don’t serve to be hurt by you anymore. I don’t want to be with you! I don’t want to be anywhere near you!” 

And with that, he left. Left you. In every sense of the word. 

5/2/23

[tv-gh0st]

Oumota Monsters au

I have a tag now #Drv3 Monsters

i thinkkk im gonna make kaito a vampire might change eventually bc uhm im like hella indecisive

IF ANYONE HAS OPINIONS PUT IT IN TAGS PLZ PLZ PLZ

anyways i wanted to talk specifically about oumota in this post bc uhm there down bad for eachother

my main inspiration for this was the song Ghosting by mother mother (also i think its worth noting @lampochkaart also helped inspire this au with some art they made ty ty ty)

so i wanted a big premise of there realationship to be Kokichi Haunting Kaito

and bc im a hurt/comfert enjoyer i love it dearly<3 i think how they get together should be very hurt/comfort vibes ya know

like kaito gets fed up and wants kokichi out and kokichi whos down bad but has horrible coaping mechanisms(pushing everyone he loves away[WICH BTW I WANT TO INCLUDE IN HIS DEATH]) is like OKAY BRO I DONT NEED U

but a ghost without anyone to haunt is like

not great

and kaito straifht up doesnt realize hes down bad for kokichi is like fuck man

they have a depression arc where they both are like shit im in love but refuse to make rhe first move

and idk how they find eachother again but they do

and i think kaito would be the one to say it because he genuinely hates tip toeing around eachother OR OR OR kokichi would say he loves him in a fit of rage/just tired of keeping up his masks(cas he thought once he died it was done he would be free but nooooooooo he lives on as a ghost)

and then its all comfort from there babes

i think maki would be very against there realatjonship and shuichi at first would be indifferent(kokichi orginallly haunted shuichi and i think in this au haunting someone would kinda mean something) but in general shuichi doesnt have a problem with it

kokichis main friends(miu and rantaro) dont mind at all he also has ties to kirumi(mom) and gonta neither of which care(nore are told emiditly)

i dont think being monsters changes there dynamic to much there like the lovingly bickering and then look at eachother like the other is littarly everything in the world <3

its a bit of a slow burn bc there both idiots and dont know how to do feelings

and none of there friends are super into playing march maker(except probably miu)

ALSO maybe adding rantaro into the mix at some point

im not aure but if i did it totally be less angsty

rantaro has his feelings in check okay atlest romanticly

he doesnt really have to much experience but that doesnt mean hes a complete idiot who doesnt know how to communicate

i think kaito and kokichi would both be looking at rantaro being like shit hes hot and i want to make a deep emotional conection with him but how do i tell my idiot bf that AND THEN tell rantaro that

abd rantaros just like

yo am i aloud to join or what

BOOM POLYAMOROUS FOR THE WIN

thats how i imagine it going down

honestly them being monsters again doesnt change the dynamic

dw tho there will be angst in other parts of there not-lives

i just wanted to talk about my gay ppl

AND DONT WORRY THERE WILL BE OTHER SHIPS

including Tenko x angie x himiko kaemaki (possible kaemakiiruma or whatever) some tsumugi x kaede(its complicated) so yaya gay ppl are tots winning

[comradeboyhalo]

Okay—you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to..! But I’m actually SO curious on your essay thoughts of q!Bad in 4halo fics. Because (I think) it’s kind of rare that q!Bad is depicted accurately in.. most qsmp ship fics. And I feel like q!Bad always becomes.. obsessed with romance with q!Forever in many 4halo fics?? Or super open + emotionally stable?? I don’t know how to explain it, but that’s why I’m curious of your thoughts (because I’ve read your fics and 100% trust your characterizations, especially of BBH cubitos <3)

hihi always down to ramble. and i agree, a lot of bad's flaws are smoothed over in 4halo fics, which makes him incredibly ooc. also, i dont think that these mischaracterizations are necessarily bad, i understand that in fluff fics (or angst fics, which im guilty of) sometimes theres no room in tone to fully capture all of q!bad's complexities. but that doesn't mean i cant have some gripes!

i dont think this is exclusive to 4halo, but 4halo is also bad's current biggest ship, so a lot of it just happens to fall on it. but i really hate how fanon!bad gets stripped down to a mere love interest who is just...very perfect in how he interacts with romance. he wants to go on cute dates, he confesses in a very sweet way. he is kind and nice and a little insecure, and is just so boring. its very much reminiscent of old skephalo fics, where bad is seen as "innocent" and then any other interesting trait of his gets stripped away. i also end up feeling im reading about a highschooler, when q!bad is 11k+ and cc!bad (obviously influential of his character) is in his late 20s.

again, i understand why people write 4halo on cute dates and first kisses. thats what fanfic is for! but i cant help but see the entirety of the ao3 page full of these very...allo-typical romance plots and think "...he would not fucking say that." q!bad is messy as fuck! if you don't interpret him as arospec, then hes at the very least repressed, and not in a cute YA romance way. a 1k fic of pining that ends in a nice love confession just doesnt convince me im sorry!

and then there's the blue diamond obstacle that gets in the way of 4halo monogamy....skeppy. again, i get why most 4halo shippers arent going to mention him, cause theyre just not into anything skephalo. i cant blame them for that. but im a master nitpicker, so ill still nitpick cause this is my blog. bad brushing over skeppy is ooc. bad acting as if skeppy is in the past is ooc. bad pursuing any form of relationship without including skeppy is ooc. bad choosing any other person but skeppy to be his #1 is ooc. and yeah it sucks for shipping if you dislike q!skephalo, but thats how it is and its not changing. and also any fics that push bad to "move on" from skeppy is just ??? not only is that his soulmate across lifetimes, but skeppy isnt dead? hes just not on the island? help??? bad has two hands, but one hand will always hold skeppy's and he's made that abundantly clear many times.

anyways im also not immune to q!bad butchering in 4halo fics! ill admit that, in writing the hanahaki au, i couldn't really find time to fit a lot of q!bad's humor into it, and he ended up more openly angsty and sad and vulnerable then he really is, or would ever be. so i totally get it, and im fine if other qbad viewers despise how he's written in it. however i will stand by the fact that q4halo would never pursue a traditional relationship together, and i chose the ending to be ambiguous because thats how i believe their relationship (and feelings) are: ambiguous. that's why, to me, 4halo is so good. i don't want to read about them confessing their feelings. i want to read about how their relationship is an undefined, confusing mess that will never be defined, and im just so surprised that there aren't more fics like that out there.

[mofsblog]

Uh oh, I got reminded TFGraves exist and I'm mentally ill and going to make it YOUR problem!! (Translation: I'm going to gosh about them)

They just mean so much to me? And they just feel soo?? Special?? And unique on a meta level as well? It's already one thing that they are a canonised mlm pairing because historically those ones tend to be more controversial because it tends to make cishet dudes (aka leagues main demographic) more uncomfortable because cant fetishise it (also yes they're not Technically "together" but idc its explicitly canon they have feelings for eachother). It's another that both are surprisingly developed and nuanced charaters (could go on for hours about how theyre both self destructive and have abandonment issues and repress their feelings in very different ways) that are morally ambiguous and have a complex and multifaceted relationship with eachother and yeah i know league lore is subject to retcons and having differet writers but idk. i think its impressive we got two nuanced developed queer male characters WITH A COMPLICATED AND DEVELOPED RELATIONSHIP WITH EACHOTHER in a game known for its bigotted player base. Another thing i fucking love about this ship is how the riot writers were like "what if we subverted some tropes and made the more flamboyant one implied pan and we made the traditionally masculine one, who highkey has toxic masculinity, gay". BUT ALSO HIS TOXIC MASCULINITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS QUEERNESS. like yes he cant express his feelings directly to save his life but the fact he's a gay man is completely not relevant to that and he's canonically had a bunch of ex boyfriends and is canonically a monsterfucker/hj. I'm not over how they took a pretty cishet masculine thing and made queer. Like the rough outlaw who hates talking about his feelings and is out for violent revenge on those who've wronged him..... except the guy who's "wronged" him is actually his best friend who he has mutual feelings for and also he fucks men. IDK THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. im insane.

moving on to other thing i like about them is that the sheer range this ship has??? Like yes there's gut wrenching fucked up dynamic that drives you crazy as you pyschoanalyse and unpack the layers of all of THAT. "that" being the fact a man thought he got abandoned by his best friend and got tortured and isolated in prison for 10 years and during those 10 years the only thing that kept him from killing himself was the sheer rage and want for vengence (towards someone he probably had repressed romantic feelings for) AND THEN WHEN HE GOT THE CHANCE TO KILL HIM, HE COULDNT BRING HIMSELF TO DO IT 💀 (im literally never going to be normal about that) and during those 10 years the other man actually got all of their mutual friends killed in an attempt to save him and the survivors guilt fucked him up so bad its implied he failed trying to drown himself so he changed his entire name and personhood instead to isolate himself from the soul crushing guilt of it. BUT DESPITE THAT ANGST, there's a surprising amount of domesticity and comfort with this ship??? No like you'd think these two would be friends to enemies to lovers BUT NO, theyre actually friends to enemies to friends to friends who are fucking pinning for eachother like crazy. Despite the angsty dynamic these two also have the best friends who have known eachother for ages and who everyone think is dating but both are oblivious or dont believe the other feels the same BUT THEY ALSO HAVE opposites attract bickering marriage couple who constantly tease and banter with eachother. like the range is crazy

No but I feel like something that makes me emotional about this is that they tried to kill eachother and badly hurt eachother unintentionally but like, instead of being homophobic about it and making them just hate eachother forever and never reconcicle (which like those ships are amazing and valid and also thats literally another league ship/hj), the writers made them make up???? AND LIKE? HEAL? KINDA? Like no they havent worked through everything and no neither of them like talking about their feelings but they're "partners" again and they have this really domestic understanding of eachother and theyre managing and theyre bantering like they used to and theyre literally so comfortable around eachother and look, graves isnt tormented by his time in prison as much anymore and hes just a genuinely goofy criminal dumbass who robs people and cracks jokes that irriate his partner AND IDK ITS SO DOMESTIC AND FUNNY? BUT IT DOESNT FEEL OUT OF CHARACTER. THESE TWO JUST ARE IN A GOOD PLACE DESPITE EVERYTHING AND IDK THAT MAKES ME HAPPY???? why did league of legends make compelling queer ship

[crguang]

I want to let you know that I actually squealed when I saw that there was a new part of wasted w longing, so that was embarrassing. I giggled so much, love me some domestic fluff, I also gasped so hard at the ending that I started choking. can't believe you updated while I was in class so didn't see it until later.

kafka is so smug I hate her, I want to kiss her on the mouth so bad she's such a weirdo, but at the same time, I'm mad at her, I'll forgive her if she comes home early on my pulls tho, and also some kafka groveling, very excited to see that. also the writing is so good, like at the end I was questing everything about r's encounter's w kafka. and you said replying to someone else's ask that kafka cares atp. wdym atp? istg I love angst but I can't handle angsty endings being w out kafka also you said himeko is going to show up again, and I know that'll be funny. the cliffhangers are killing me, but I'm really excited for the next part, the plot is plotting. also the way at the beginning I literally said out loud, "oh she just got shot, it's okay."

the wanted poster is so funny, like whoever wrote it down must've seen footage of her shooting people as she breaks into somewhere and thought, damn, she is hot as fuck, and tbh that was my thought process when I watched kafka's trailer the first time.

hope your first day at uni was good! if you made me loose my 50/50 I'll---

-🌠

not the squealinggg thats so cute im flattered. it’s funny whenever yall say i post when yall are busy because it’s always 4 to 6 am here i have a horrible sleep schedule 😭 i loved writing the more domestic part cause that’s the first time they actually spend time together without sleeping together and it was kinda cuteee, if you ignore the getting shot part.

“i hate her i wanna kiss her on the mouth shes such a weirdo” is exactly how i feel about kafka im so glad im not alone… also, i meant that at this point of the story kafka already knows that she likes R; she goes out of her way to look out for them, she stares a lot, wants to help them through their dilemma and other stuff that’ll come later. in her mind shes not in love with them but she does like them. i think due to her closed off nature, a lot of the little hints of how she feels are in the way she looks at R and since this is written from R’s (sometimes unreliable) perspective, i mentioned how they can’t read her eyes yet so to them there’s no reciprocation right now. and now that they’re mad at her everything she does will feel disingenuous when it might not be. it’s tricky to write bc as readers i want people to be able to tell that kafka cares even when she’s being a little shit while also staying true to how R sees things. i do think it’ll become much more obvious starting from the next chapter tho cause there will be some grovelling involved lmfaoo.

also this was literally her at the end:

r: i will call the police on you.

kafka: i am so attracted to you right now

its funny, R is always making themself available for her and has been doing that from the beginning so kafka’s very used to this behavior and its the reason why she’s so fucking smug. but now she’s seeing a new side to them that she really likes. they’re standing up for themself and i think it’s a quality that she’d find really attractive in a person. but yeah it’s fun i love this series mainly because the idea mostly came from anons so i love hearing what yall think about it.

my first day at uni was nice!! im looking to getting my shit together honestly, i feel like an actual adult now so hopefully it helps with my mood as well and makes it easier for me to be productive cause i dont write fast at all. if you lose the 50/50 bc of me i’ll write whatever you want as consolation prize

[baconcolacan]

i love the difference between the two aus but ur true about regimen infecting the stay au with angst LMAO

but really i really love the stay au it's so sweet to see a nonfucked version of tord be so warm and gentle and that tord is ACTUALY in love with tom, and that does work to better himself(we love healthy relationships yaaay!!! :DDD)

YAAAAAAA TOMTORD HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY BRAINROT SHIP IVE BEEN DECAYING FOR YEARS ON THESE STUPID RED-BLUE BITCHES I HATE THEM SO MUCH KJHDGKDSJHG YEEE Stay AU Tord my belovedddd, his love is very all encompassing. Love me a man who would burn the world down just to make sure his love his safe mmmmm.

Mini rant (?) below about my stupid red-blue bitches ship.

I know people joke that the tomtord shippers have died out but genuinely, I don't see a lot of people make content (like non fucked decent content) for them anymore. Sometimes I feel like I'm standing alone in a broken city that used to be teeming with life, but it's all gone now and people talk about it like it's taboo. Sometimes I meet other travelers, but they only pass by and I'm all alone again.

It's slightly why I'm cannibalizing myself on Stay AU, I really want to see the dynamic of theirs thats more on 'Bickers like an old couple' Or 'Bitch attracted to Bitch'. We have enough content thats dark and fucked up (And yes I am counting myself with Regimen but that fic was always meant to be angsty and dark), and not a lot of people, that I can see at least, leans towards a cuter dynamic these days :/ Like its so possible for them to still be bitching at each other but still care!! That's exactly the kind of relationship I have with a very close friend of mine, they give me shit, and I bitch at them, but I fucking love that asshole to death (even if its not romantic love).

A healthy romantic relationship won't always be just pure fluff, sometimes we can get irritated at our partner and nibble at them a little bit, but we never hurt them in any way that matters. Thats the kind of dynamic I really really like when it comes to tomtord, but unfortunately all the decent creators that liked it have moved on, or just dont try to make content for it anymore because people accuse them of liking an "abusive" ship which just :////// naurrrrrrrr

I'm really sad that getting branded as a tomtord shipper has like this stigma to it now, like you could just say "Oh that person ships tomtord" and suddenly they're a pariah like mannnn I just wanna see two whiny loser bitches fall in love and be whiny loser bitches together.

S i g h but whatever, I'll just continue chugging along on this abandoned train track =7=

[fecto-forgo]

i really honestly feel like that a lot of the criticism towards susie isnt justified. the capitalism stuff, sure, but she gets waaayyy too much flak for the mecha knight thing.

TBH i kind of want someone else other than susie should try to turn meta knight into a robot. just to see if they'd get hated on for it.

imagine if magolor were to do it. would he get scrutinized for it? or would people try to go through hoops to say it's okay if he does it, it was only bad when susie did it?

i already do sense some double standards in the fandom tho.....

you see the issue is i cannot for the life of me understand this beyond "susies a girl, and because of that shes the devil for hurting the fan favorite guy", disliking her bc of the theme? sure! completely fair! believing she could have been better redeemed? i can see a point! misunderstanding her for a while due to SAs translation completely changing what her recent goals are implied to be? very understandable they fucked her updated character up there

but no, what people get irrationally angry about is she happened to pick meta knight and how DARE she do that to poor meta knight?!

but...thats where my confusion is, if ANY other character had done that to MK theyd not get backlash for it, itd be an angsty meta knight moment for fans theyd absolutely ADORE and theyd form opinions on whoever did it for the character they are (see:every dedede possession, barely see anyone even acknowledge who did it that much, its about dedede being affected w the culprit being disregarded), not for who they happened to use for the "puppet" role, susie.is not allowed this, shes the girl who hurt meta knight, multiple peoples entire opinions of her revolve around the fact she roboticized meta knight (remember btw.he was LITERALLY fine.theres nothing implying this was painful and he recovered extremely quickly) susie is not allowed to be anything but a massive bitch who hurt poor fan favorite meta knight

and dude i just.dont get it, i dont get why its so comically common for fandoms wide to be overly harsh forming opinions on the girls, giving them absolute hell for things theyd absolutely praise men for doing, id understand if it was implied to be awful for MK or if someone just doesnt like him being in bad situations, but no, if ANY male villain did that ppl would be going over the moon they got juicy meta knight angst and a cool other guy, is overly judging female characters so inherent in peoples brains this is subconscious?? its just.so fucking insane to me.i literally cannot understand this

heck everytime ive seen ppl talk abt the stuff w fecto forgo trying to possess meta knight its just as i said itd go (forgo is either genderless or non binary, for note.so rly further proof the issue is susies a girl) its abt the experience being bad for MK, not abt how the one who did it is an horrible being, its.so fucked up susie is not even allowed to be disliked because of her own character, its because she hurt a man so shes the actual devil for doing that

TL DR please hate susie at least because of her whole character and not because she happens to be a girl who hurt a man (basically ask yourself:if she were a guy or enby, would you still be this angry about that? if not, reconsider if youre not being subconsciously biased to see her as way worse because shes a woman.if yes lmao relax youre being normal and just dont like your favorite being hurt)

[heat--end]

20 questions for fic writers

i saw this from @tearsoftime0086 and figured why not

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

14, though i think one MIGHT be privated?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

453,462

3. What fandoms do you write for?

basically just pokemon, lol. one day i wanna branch out, but i really like writing for pokemon, so i don't mind that all too much

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Iridescent Bonds - my first ever fic, a dawn/irida story that involves them falling in love over the course of PLA's storyline and some other events. dawn is transgender! it's good! i hold this story very close to my heart, and i'm actually rewriting it right now, which is fun!

Bloom - trans girl lillie during the sun/moon story. its basically just a deeper dive into lillie as a character, while also making her trans, because Me Like Trans Characters. im very proud of this!

God Cannot Give You Relationship Advice - a very short, very silly one-shot that i threw together on a whim and is my 3rd most kudos'd work lmao. still, it's fun and cute, i can see why people like it so much

Shining Beyond Space Itself - my current project other than BFS! a rewrite of iridescent bonds, really fleshing out the idea and doing it proper. currently on 17 chapters out of 20, so its wrapping up soon

Jewel Box - my dawn/irida oneshot collection, based entirely on the universe established in iridescent bonds/shining beyond space. it's just a big fluff collection, but damn if i dont love it LOL. plus it really helped me develop the framework for SBS

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

LOVE responding to comments, only time i dont is if i feel i cant really add much or the like. but i really enjoy adding on to people's questions, or further explaining stuff, or even just thanking them for nice comments because i love comments!!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

honestly, i don't really write angsty endings - i do enjoy writing angst, but not in my endings. i guess maybe Stardust Memories, but even that ends on a nice note???

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

probably Iridescent Bonds, since that just ends on dawn and irida getting married lmao. it's mushy and sappy but damn it i am a mushy and sappy gal!!!!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

thankfully no. i got one comment on iridescent bonds though that was like "this was great until the trans shit" which like. that's in the 2nd line, bro lmao

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nah, probably wont ever

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

MY PRIDE AND FUCKING JOY, BUILD FIGHTERS SHINING. a crossover fic between pokemon and gundam build fighters, but to be more specific, it's a crossover between iridescent bonds/SBS and gundam build fighters. i love love LOVE writing this story, it's my other project next to SBS (it's taken a small hiatus because of SBS wrapping up - all my focus is going into that). LOVE build fighters shining. my pride and joy. my brainchild. i pour my heart and SOUL into this story

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that i know of, but i wouldn't mind someone doing so

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i haven't no. might be fun, though!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

incredibly easy answer lmfao. akari/irida, 100%. dawn/irida as well, but that's just a variant of akari/irida really. i love love LOVE this ship, i think the game really lets these two build a strong relationship over the course of the game and they grow so incredibly close that i think its so cute, i love irida as a character so i think shes gay, and i love dawn/irida cause thats MY variation of it. girls gay. gay women. go check out @iridawn for all my autism about this ship

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

probably the akari/irida WIP i had where akari gets burned bad from the fight with lord arcanine, and irida has to help her while the others get materials to help. i cant really find the angle i'd want on it, and i'm a little worried about inaccurately writing a burn injury lmfao

16. What are your writing strengths?

i like to think i'm good at writing emotional stuff when i really need to, especially when it's just sappy and good. i also think i can write action scenes pretty well. not FLAWLESSLY, but im proud of it

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

definitely how i describe certain things and my habit to repeat words, lmao. i fall into writing ticks a lot, stuff like "a bit" or just sticking to certain words, and i dont give AS much detail as i should sometimes when decorating a scene. its something im slowly working on, but def my weakness

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

not a bad idea at all, yeah. i say its good

19. First fandom you wrote for?

published was pokemon, but first i WROTE for was DBZ. i wrote a very small piece a long, LONG time ago, and i never published it or anything, it was just a small little idea i had. i think its lost to time now though lol maybe ill go look for it one day

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

GOD, this is hard. i love everything ive written, but i really have to give it to build fighters shining. despite not being done yet, BFS is my brainchild, its my self indulgent baby, i have poured my heart into that fic and i love developing the world in it and the custom gunpla and everything. i fucking LOVE build fighters shining, it is so fun to write for lmao

[firecooking]

Will there be angst? Is your take on the tugs story a comedy, or drama or coming of age or tragedy?

Will someone's heart be broken? Who's shall be filled with love?

I don’t really have any set narrative for my au, but angst? There is always room for angst when you have like 20 boats running around with every personality ever concived. I treat TUGS as a canvas for whatever I wanna write,sometimes that silly shinanigans, some times its like the Zaffre fic i’m writting where it’s a VERY serious and mature look at why it’s a bad idea to be a female tug boat operator in the 1920s.

I love writting tugs in a more found family sense, and whats a family without a mix of everything. Cerain charaters have certain plots, Zaffre and Zip are on a coming of age wave length, where as Zak is drama city and Zorran is living a one man vaudville act that is taking itself too serious. Zug is just happy he hasn’t gotten himself killed yet and Zebedee wnats a nap. When it comes to the Star Tugs, i have, very few ideas that arn’t just “and charater does x and everyone is egging it on because this is gonna be funny.” which, honestly is just plane fun.

I also love writing the Capatins as major facets in storys, Star and Zero interacting with eachother, there tugs, and other charaters are gold mines for charater exsploration. Which is really what I write Fanfic to do.

I tend to write Zero a bit on the angsty side, he’s not trying to reform from a life of crime per say but he is trying to settle his debts and secure finacial security for him and Zasha, and by extension his tugs, and that really stresses him out and triggers his ailling health. Thats in contrast to Star, who isn’t as ‘sucessful’ or financially secure, but he’s content with his life and would do anything for his boys even if that means eating water sandwiches for a few weeks.

Star and Zero also have shreodingers divorce going on at all times. Are they amicable? Do they hate each other? Where they ever dating? Are they even gay? Are they starting to date again? Not a single soul knows, and they deffently don’t know themselves. Oh and the Z stack love/hate/casual Polycule thats constantly going on as a gag, cannot forget the z stack polycule

I think that covers the ask? This is a very discombobulated ramble [on the train to York to vist NRM rn!]

[craw-dacious]

The things I did by Lolo-ro fic review

Chapter by chapter, until i got distracted by the story lol.

Still fairly new to marauders but am loving it.

summary review: I truly adored this fic, probably my fave Wolfstar so far. I thought the worldbuilding was fantastic, as well as the characterization of baby Harry. Fairly angsty, but with plenty of fluff to make up for it. The raising Harry idea is becoming one of my favorite tropes, and this fic did an amazing job of weaving parenthood into a world that is still filled with complexities and evil, as well as lives outside of the main characters.

SPOILERS BELOW BEWARE

Chapter One

Again, the aftermath for Remus is getting me

So so so sad, and him believing Sirius innocent  makes it worse

The traitor shit is horrible to deal with emotionally im sure

I am upset to realize just how much remus ignored harry in the books/canon

Like thats ur nephew fr come onnnn

Chapter Two

Aw he’s doing a good job as a dad

This fic is making him out to be very forgetful, fully forgot about both harry and Sirius

The pacing is much more clear in this which I enjoy quite a bit

Cutesy Christmas, cutesy harry

ALSO I LOVED THE HAGRID MOMENT

I do feel like we need to get the Weasleys involved tbh baby Ron and Harry is PEAK

Chap 3

Pls dont let that annoying ass bitch be important, if theyre in trouble bc of this shit ill kms

Shut up Hagrid he needs everything he wants his parents ARE dead brother

Okay actually I like that annoying ass bitch a lot, this is very good

I guess he actually is spoiling him tbf

Ok so he’s actually forgetful as fuck. Forgot Harry’s birthday, forgot about Sirius AGAIN.

Like actually what is going on is his brain damaged

This chapter has been depressing

The fight IN AZKABAN how will this turn into legit wolfstar if they are so mad they fight WHILE SIRIUS IS IMPRISONED

But also he didn’t talk to a single person for 12 years in canon im gonna kms

Marauders is making me realize just how shitty and sad canon was bruh, remus and Sirius were like ALONE, obvie remus did shit and wasn’t a complete waste but its just so SAD

OKAYYYY I TOLD Y’ALL I LOVE A GOOD MOODY MOMENT

Literally obsessed with alastor moody he’s so fucking cool and we BARELY KNEW HIM in the books because of FUCKING CROUCH

This chapter was incredible, good baby harry, good angst, good FIGHT (love romantic arguments, make me nostalgic) (imy [REDACTED] we fought so cutey)

Ok I think I complained earlier about this, but it’s important for there to be conflict and issues when there’s this much trauma. Great plot choice. Also makes it 20x more interesting

Fuck Peter. I fucking hate Peter.

Chapter 4

Ugh stupid muggles messing everything up

Someone should try to kill them all off or something idk they’re getting in the way

But this is shaping up to have some LEGAL ISSUES which I LOVE because im a fucking NERD <33333

Harry is so cute. I actually prefer this to the last baby Harry bc he has sm more personality.

Almost forgot the meat of this chapter omg its good im getting distracted

Sirius and Harry together was a NEED bruh actually so cute

And I talked to you kate about this earlier but remus has been different in other fics and I do kinda like him in this one, he’s more depressed and stressed than normal, but the forgetfulness almost lends itself to aloofness in a way that fits him

I very much appreciated him being so kind to Sirius. While I understand him being pissed at him for thinking he’s a traitor, the man is in Azkaban, like you’ve got to chill out, talk to him about this stuff when you have more than 15 minutes and less dementors

Anyway that scene was nice, I like the idea of their little family

Chappy 5

Good shit again

THIS is the perfect chapter length, not so long I forget what happens but no so short I have to stop reading every five seconds to review

The werewolf prejudice is a big thing in this fic, im not sure how I feel about it. Obviously from an equality standpoint, werewolves should be seen as human. Yet, there is something to the idea that the actual transformed wolf is very dangerous. I’m worried the wolfsbane study will be viewed as Remus “hiding himself” or something like that, when it should be viewed as a solution to the one thing holding werewolves back.

This can’t be compared to real life discrimination. You can’t be like “so you hate minorities” because none of the minorities I know turn into wolves once a month bruh

Anyway, Dumbledore being morally grey-ish, making mistakes but always anti-voldy. He’s such an interesting character. I like his presence in the book as well. Hagrid should come back soon he’s so nice.

Chap 6

Permanent pass <3, so cute. Having to abandon muggle friends? Not cute. Fuck Dumbledore, but only like a little

Not a dumby stan or hater tbh hes just a little silly in both directions

I’m so conflicted on this situation. Yes, it SUCKS that Sirius thought remus was the spy, but it’s not necessarily damning. It’s likely he convinced himself of it because it was the most painful option so it must’ve been the truth. It seems like fear, almost, and jealousy of the wolves over him? Might be over analyzing and overomanticizing but that is what im seeing atm.

The teaching position goes fucking CRAZY man, If remus was my history teacher my life would be GOLDEN

Do you think remus lupin would be a good addition to upper H hall yes or no

Chapter 7

Jesus fuck I forget how sad all this shit is sometimes

To begin with, the teaching position seems great. I do wish Remus would understand that he’s qualified for it

Speaking of teachers, I would love to see who the DADA teacher is, I know its not permanent but still fun

Anyway, I think 7 kids would be the end of me. I love children, and I still relate to Remus far more than Arthur in that scene, there’s actually no fucking way.

Like yes give me a shot I cannot do it, the strong drink joke was a good cover because I am sure its Arthurs greatest desire

Also, love him just dropping interest about muggles, would love to see that chat actually play out but it seems unimportant

But maybe it’ll be how he catches worm tail …

Azkaban visit was good, Sirius is being less racist, and Remus is being kind. Wish they would love each other again already but slow burn wins <3

Also you could just tell that Sirius missed harry, very cute

Chapter 8

Heart hurts, poor Sirius 

I said that remus should be nicer

Chapter 9

Okay, information has been gained

Sorry for short 8 summary

So Sirius FORGOT that he and remus broke up, which is CRAZY

There’s a whole lot of forgetting in this fic im realizing, very relatable

I would actually kill myself

I’m sitting here pondering how I would react in this situation and genuinely tweaking just imagining it

He needs to go break it off with him, he can explain, there’s not really another option for him. If he maintains this it’s going to end poorly. I’m assuming he’s going to do that anyway, as it creates the most drama and is fantastic for the plot

I do think Remus is underestimating the importance of being taken even somewhat seriously by the Wizengamot. I know it’s not what he fully wanted but it’s legitimate progress.

Chapter ten

WHAT DID I SAY HE’S NOT GONNA TELL HIM

This chapter INFURIATED ME

Also im gonna start skipping chapters bc otherwise the review will be long asf

Snape is a piece of work, obviously. Like Remus isn’t being shitty to you and you were a fucking death eater man. Also he despises children which is a red fucking flag

Just let him pet your stupid cat motherfucker

Unless its secretly regulus as an animagus that would be sick asf I saw fan art the other day where he was a cat and it was good

Moving on, im appreciating the slow burn on discovering Peter. Like they easily could have discovered him 3 chapters ago when remus was first there. 

Chapter 11 & 12

The enchanted parchment

Leaving him on delivered is crazy actually

Literally reads exactly like the GHP texts between me and [REDACTED] LMAO

“I guess I’ll talk to you later, assuming you’re at soccer, imy!!”

Actually devastated reading this im going to be honest

Lots of shit going down, forgetting and memory issues are such an interesting plot device, it makes any part of the story unreliable, and confuses the reader just a little bit. It also creates a lot of dramatic irony, which can often be very sad and tragic

Also, order members calling voldy “Voldemort” all high and mighty is a bit strange considering that they all chewed harry out about calling him “He Who Shall Not be Named”

Snape stole the parchment read it and slipped a potion into lupins chocolate that he would give to Sirius to sabotage their relationship

Bc Dumbledore told Snape everything as his extra special spy obviously

Ok so I was wrong it was dementors again. And remus told Sirius about the breakup. Which is, the right thing to do I guess

This is so hard for everybody man, Sirius’ perspective is heartbreaking

At least it shows his chats with dumby, who happens to be the funniest person in this fic

Chapters 13 & 14

Reconciliation came a bit too easily but thats alright, I want them to be happy

The amount I would give to receive a cat for Christmas. I want that so bad bruh.

Ok at least they’re acknowledging how bad Remus is with dates

Okay him being a dog seems helpful, I do feel like that should have been noticed a while ago

Honestly am feeling a bit lost in the romance, long distance pining is not my fave but hopefully Sirius will be freed before long and they can be happy for once.

I just am so curious as to why they broke up, I know thats the point but it just doesn’t make sense

Also ignore my random theories I keep throwing about, I dont actually believe snapes cat is regulus or that Snape poisoned Sirius its just fun

Chapters 15-16

They explained the plan so I know it will go horribly wrong

HELL FUCKING YEAH THEY GOT HIM THAT SNEAKY LITTLE CUNT HATE THAT MOTHERFUCKER FUCK PETER I HATE PETER

Still not happy. I dont know what I expected

2 chapters and they’ll kiss, im expecting a huge fight in chapter 17

Chapters 17-20

Ok this is strange. The relationship dynamic has developed very differently than I thought it would. They really need to figure out this memory I’m sure it all a misunderstanding or some stupid shit like that

Someone thought someone else killed somebody else

Also why is this so mirroring to me and [REDACTED] from like July forward

Distant over text/parchment, not allowed to say I love you, basically only physical, guilt for things I couldn’t remember

Except for the baby and trauma and everything

Last fic was me and remus being the same this time it’s Sirius. When am I going to consume content and not think about [REDACTED] again Im tired of him being in my brain

Chap 21-22

KATE I TOLD YOU NO I LOVE YOU FICS I HATE THIS

I also talked about [redacted] with ppl for like an hour and a half last night it was terrible

Did it again the next night bro why is that rat still in my head

23-24

The memories are throwing me for a loop. On the one hand, everything is devastatingly sad. On the other hand, they’re all being emo and need to get it together

Sirius getting “lost in his memories” is a cool idea though, I’m liking the new magic thats being explored in this fic

I need them to have a huge blowup fight. Like a massive fight that sucks and is terrible. I don’t know how they’d do it but I need it

Also I think I can take one more “oh poor Sirius” memory until I blow my brains out. Big whoop your plan failed and you were insecure about it, I’d reach out to the closest person to blame to. I blamed [REDACTED] for not winning an award at model un, not his fault. Sirius can blame Remus for his plan failing and have a moody moment then move on, trust can be rebuilt.

Last five chapters

Ok everything is happy again and the reunion went FANTASTIC

The one thing I feel like I haven’t commented on enough in this fic is Snape

His character is well done, he’s so mean and bitchy but not like completely evil which is just hilarious, I love his and Remus’s dynamic its very good

I also think his relationship with Harry is funny, and I’m glad it’s not as shitty as it started out.

“Harry, friendly and bright-eyed, took the opportunity of silence to lean onto the counter, put his face right up to the goblin’s, and say, “Meow.”

Remus pulled Harry off the counter, embarrassed, and plopped him on the ground. “Don’t meow at people, love.”

That is actually the silliest cutest thing I’ve ever read in my entire life. Literally would birth a child rn bc of how cute that is. Jesus fucking christ bruh

Can they stop making out in public. Like in front of one other person in public. Its so awk

I KEEP TRYING TO GIVE KUDOS THIS IS LIKE SUGAR BRUH SO SWEET

My criticisms are growing though, there are a few things im concerned about but im gonna finish the story before I discuss

Why can I not escape my Draco phase. One sentence about “the little Malfoy” and harry going on playdates and I RUSH to think about how that changes their school dynamic and how they treat each other and all this shit

Looks like they’re leaving some loose ends on purpose, telling not showing a lot here at the end tbh

I WANT A CHILD HE’S SO CUTE

This is the first time ive actually been obsessed with a child character hes ADORABLE

Gonna read the epilogue before writing my final review, but don’t want to take it in for my review

FINAL REVIEW:

Ok. Done. Having to write this a day after finishing because I fell asleep right after

My favorite parts

ANGST: very well done, miscommunication can sometimes be overdone but I feel like it worked this time. I loved how easily apparent the love that was still there was. 

Humor: This fic made me laugh out loud multiple times. This was mostly Harry, but there were a couple of moments from the doctor guy and Arthur that made me giggle

CHILD: literally have never seen a child portrayal that was this good. Like literally from beginning to end it was good. I’m sure some people would read this fic and say 2 yo harry is too advanced, but he’s so bright and I feel like growing up with Remus would breed him to be a talker. The accuracy of the 8 yo and 11 yo at the end was good as well, it ticks me off when people fuck up ages of a child, especially one so parenting-focused as this

Depth of world building: I could truly see this world, like I understood the flat, I understood the weasleys, I understood the dorm at Hogwarts. The scene at their graves, everything was great.

Now my weaknesses

Some underdeveloped plots

Peter: they brought up having to talk to him, made it a big deal with getting a memory and then just abandoned it and said “remus had the perfect memory.” Then, the memory was SO MUNDANE. I’m sure the author just fucked up and had to figure something out, which is fine, just was a little dissapointing.

Poison: this is another where I think the plot just ran away from the author, but I was expecting something more than “Sirius asked them to fix it and they did”

Some(?) characterizations

Remus was perfect. Sirius was a little too nice, he’s volatile and little bitt crazy and I got less of that in this fic. Sometimes it was perfect. This isn’t really a criticism, more “it could be a little better”

Overall: 8.3/10

I truly adored this fic, probably my fave wolfstar so far. However, I know this is just because I love children and loved baby harry so much, so my rating is attempting to be unbiased.

[petrichoraline]

wait stay by my side is good??? and no one told me??? or maybe i keep confusing stay by side and stay with me lol

as someone who is all caught up on both shows - they're both fun 😄

this ask is from three days ago when I talked about how stay by my side (taiwanese show about a boy who can hear ghosts and the guy who gives him a break through touch) had a very fun sixth episode. i wasn't into the show that much but ep.6 gave me some heart-fluttering moments and cute angst that I neither took seriously nor disliked - it was fun for me because of the execution, the fact I don't take anything happening in the show to heart and because the show is short enough so I sensed a resolution was coming very soon 😁

now ive seen episode 7 as well and I can say 6 is definitely my fave. the conflicts are predictable, theres nothing really new but thats what goves you the safe feeling - you dont risk breaking your heart watching it haha. i'd recommend this in case you want a quick sweet watch with "cute silly boy denying his feelings" and "cold rude guy turned passionate suitor". it's the lightest watch i've seen in a while and it's my palette cleanser these days (everything I watch is angsty apparently and the angst supreme™️ trio of loa, of and dr hasn't even reared its ugly head yet lol)

stay with me (the og title of which I find real cute: "gege, don't run") is as far as I know a remake of addicted - a chinese bl that was Very direct in regards to what it's about and therefore got canceled AND banned and the main actors - banned from interacting with each other on tv or at public events for years; I thought swm would be a story set in the same universe or smth but as I watched the first episode I kept getting deja vu until I realised it's the same plot lol

it's about two teens whose dad and mom, respectively, got together - the boys claim to hate each other before they even meet, then fate brings them together without them recognizing each other and shenanigans ensue. it's about found family, finding common ground with parents you can't communicate with, about forgiveness and acceptance. the characters are very lovable <3 the crew is doing their best fighting censorship so it's very clear that the couple are not just bros. they can't, however, do what addicted did so many might prefer the 2016 show. I, personally, was not a fan of the mains in that - wu bi is too possessive for me in this version but his predecessor was Something Else

it's a very standard modern mainland china show. the reason im mentioning this is because of clips on tt and having not seen a cdrama in a while, i had the impression itd be more like a taiwanese or korean bl. the editing, dubbing, bizarrely cut scenes - nothing new in cdrama land. i was wondering if I would recommend it but I think I would, yes. some coincidences and plot points are just so beyond belief that you'd roll your eyes but it's not smth unheard of when it comes to asian dramas haha and I think you'd get so caught up in the angst, domesticity and hunting down hints spread around like easter eggs that you just won't mind the convenient plots (if you would care bout such a thing in the first place)

I'm doing a bad job at promoting this show but I do want more people to see it. the cast is perfect imo (..except for duo duo, I'm sorry but that bby cannot act..her face and aura suit the character though), the sets are all amazing (I like the school, I like su yu's home, I like the shared space later on etc.etc., all decor is very well picked and pleasant to the eye) and the moral of the story is heartwarming, its execution too.

you get passionate hot-headed athletic rich boy who's crazy for his equally smitten furrow-browed genius humble guy - they both value family and each other very much and are willing to do everything for those close to them. it's very endearing and their dynamic is swoonworthy, they're a complete power couple.

(also, spoiler, you get enemies to friends to lovers which is pretty neat)(the spark is there from day 1 tho)

EDIT: i wrote this before the final two episodes were released so disclaimer - POST FINALE SPOILER: if you don't like open endings, esp distressing ones, i don't advise you watch it now - better wait for a secure second season

[kass-storycorner]

Hello!! i stumbled across your works and i absolutely fell inlove with your writing (especially the angsty ones)

Can i jump on the angst train and request a fic with a line that goes "I'm here, you dont have to wait anymore," with childe? Like maybe the reader told childe that theyll wait for him no matter how long it takes (and maybe a sprinkle of argument) but something happened that made the reader be on the brink of death. With or without comfort/happy ending is up to u!!

first of all thank you so much for the request! and it really makes me so happy to hear that you like my writing, especially my angst haha secondly I am so sorry that this took so long, since I saw this ask in my inbox I couldn't stop thinking about it and finished the first part of this pretty quickly - only to be stuck at how to end it (and actually fulfill the request haha). right now i am not really happy with the ending, though I feel like this is the best I can currently do! I really hope you enjoy, please let me know if it was alright haha (also I fear that I didn't really...wrote Childe in-character, I don't know)

Waiting for you

Genre: Angst, Hurt, comfort at the end

Characters: Childe x gn!reader (Childe is referred by is actual name by the reader, but outside of dialog he's called Childe)

Format: bullet points (backstory) + Text (actual fic, answer to the prompt)

Word count: 4324

Content warning: veeeery slight spoiler warning for the Liyue quests, its literally just one sentence and I tried to keep it as ambigious as possible, slight cursing (using the word bitch too, though thats the only instance of using gendered-vocab for the reader, i still wrote them gn!), mention of blood, mild violence, not proof-read ahah when will i ever do that

you can find the fic under the cut, have fun reading!

You and Childe knew each other since you were just little kids – him and his family being neighbours had meant you always ended up playing with him and his siblings, though you both got along the best.

On more than one occasion you both just ran off to somewhere no one could disturb you, your secret hideout, trading stories of great warriors from outside of Snezhnaya you heard the fishermen at the docks talk about.

Most people and children were wary of Childe, he was always the one who wanted to ‘play-fight’, which ended most of the time with the other kid running home, crying. However, you were the exception, always able to beat him or at least have a tie. Your parents, especially your father, hated it when you came back home with bruises on your arm, a bright smile and telling how you beat Childe up that day. He never felt like Childe was someone you should surround yourself with, but he kept quite for your younger years, also thanks to your mother who wasn’t fond of the fighting either but saw how much time with Childe meant to you.

Things however changed after Childe fell into the Abyss.

It was apparent how violent he got after it, even his own family was completely helpless when it came to him. So his father send him off to join the Fatui, which was a very controversial decision in the small town you both called home – most were happy to not have Childe be around anymore, for he picked up more and more fights and became more violent, but even within Snezhnaya the Fatui have a bad reputation, so most people were convinced that he would only become even worse.

Your father was one of those who was happy, but also concerned. Your mother died shortly after Childe fell into the Abyss, so your father forbade you any contact with Childe.

This, however, did not work. After Childe had to leave Morespesok you kept in touch through letters and whenever he was in town you always met up in secret.

The letters you send each other turned sweeter the older you got, changing the feelings for friendship you both felt for each other slowly into a romantic love. Childe always ended his letter with saying that he would return soon and you always with “I’ll be waiting for you Ajax”.

You always looked forward to his letters and so did he for yours. When he came back to Morespesok after every mission he had to do for the Fatui you both would meet up in your secret hideout. This place became your save haven. Conversations, hugs, kisses and even more – everything that wasn’t written in a letter between you two happened there.

Childe was fine with this and so were you. He didn’t want people to know there was someone he loved as much as he loved you, as one of the Harbringers of the Fatui it could endanger you. You on the other hand were fine with it because, even though you had no understanding for why your father forbad you the relationship with Childe, you couldn’t stomach to disappoint him. After all he was your father and you loved him dearly, no matter how much you both might disagree on things.

Still, you longed for something more – with Childe and for your own life. You wanted to travel too; you haven’t had the chance to leave Morespesok past the few neighbouring villages. So, when Childe wrote to you that after his next visit, which would only be a few days long, he was going to Liyue and didn’t knew for how long he had to stay there – you asked him in your reply if you could join him. Him writing that it wasn’t possible and better for you to stay in Morespesok and just wait for him hurt, but you understood. You are fine with waiting for him, you always were.

You were expecting a sad but loving last night with Childe before he had to leave, ending with a bittersweet goodbye. You weren’t expecting what happened instead.

Childe was angry, it was clear to see. The moment he stepped into your secret hideout you knew something was off – how he averted your eyes, how he didn’t return your kiss with a passionate one, like usual. “Ajax”, you purred in a sweet voice, “what’s wrong?”. You tried to take his hand, but he only pulled it away. Ah, that was unusual. He never refused your touch, no matter how angry he was before. “There is nothing wrong, I just was curious if there is something you want to tell me?”, he replied in a bitter tone, not even looking at you. It took you completely off guard; you saw him be angry or sulky before, you two had your fair share of arguments in the past, but somehow this was different. “No, there is nothing except for the fact that I missed you very much,” you told him, but you could feel how you started to become irritated. When you saw him two days ago visiting your family’s shop with Teucer he gave you a warm and loving smile, winking at you when he handed you that piece of paper asking to meet up tonight. What had happened in between that made him act like this? “Tsk, fine,” and with that he was on his way out. You moved quickly in front of him, blocking the way out. “Now wait a moment, would you kindly tell me what is going on here?”. He just quietly looked at you for a few seconds before he shoved you aside. “AJAX!”, you couldn’t hide your irritation and growing anger anymore, burying your fingers in his arm in order to stop him from leaving. “What did I do to make you be angry at me?”. “It doesn’t matter”, Childe replied coldly, while trying to get you to loosen your grip on his arm. “Now let me go and run home to your father and your fiancé, I bet they are already asking where you are right now.” “My what?” you replied with bewilderment. “Childe, is that why you are angry with me? Because you think I am engaged to someone else?”. Honestly, you would find this situation hilarious if it weren’t for the fact that Childe still looked at you with a sour face. “Well, I don’t think you are engaged to someone else; I know you are. Your father was really excited about the whole thing when he told me, he even invited me to your wedding, granted if I could find the time.” As he said this, he noticed how your face was a combination of confusion and anger. And oh yes, were you angry. Angry at your father for telling such blatant lies and at Childe for believing them, confused as to why he would even believe your father in the first place. “Ajax, I-“you let go of his arm, pinching the bridge of your nose and letting out a deep sigh. “I am engaged to no one, never was. I didn’t tell you this, because I didn’t want to upset you or worry you needlessly, but maybe I should’ve done it. My father continuously tries to marry me off whenever he finds anyone, he deems a worthy suitor. I guess he might have found one of your letters, though he never said anything about it, but I can’t explain why he suddenly started to become so interested in my marital status. Every few weeks he brings another person home, tells me I should marry them, for me to turn those poor fools down and tell my father he should stop. Most accept it that I have no interest in them, some stick around for a few weeks until the realise that nothing will come of it, but yeah. Ask anyone, Archons ask your family, it’s already a running joke here.” You expected the atmosphere to become less tense after you explained the whole situation to him, for him to even turn it into a joke and to apologise for his behaviour. Instead, it just grew more tense. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”, his voice still being cold, underneath it you could hear how angry he still was. “Because it wasn’t important, at least not to me. Honestly Ajax, I don’t see what the issue is here. I am not engaged and I do not plan to agree to one unless-“, you stopped yourself right there. ‘Unless it’s you who’s asking’, is what you wanted to say. You could feel how your heart fluttered even just at the thought. Childe, however, did not notice where you were going with your last sentence, too

occupied with his own anger. “Unless what?”. “It doesn’t matter, can’t we just drop the topic and enjoy our first and last night in months with each other without fighting?”, this was your last offer of peace, hoping he would finally calm down. But you knew deep down – Childe never was one to back out of a fight. “No no no, continue, tell me what you wanted to say!”, his voice growing louder and louder with every word. “Ajax, let it be,” you really weren’t in the mood for anything tonight anymore and the least you wanted to do was discuss your wish of a future with him. “No, I won’t. Tell me, because I would love to know. Or don’t, you can also just go and choose one of the various suitors your father picked out for you to fuck, I bet you really enjoy it how they are all standing in line for you,” he spit his words out, full of anger and disgust. This was the final straw for you, it was apparent that Childe choose words that he knew would hurt you with intent and it made you explode. “You know what? I’ve had enough!”, you screamed at him, feeling how tears were pooling in the corner of your eyes. Not out of sadness or because his words hurt, those were tears of pure rage. “You come in here, after I haven’t seen you in weeks, before you leave for an unspecified amount of time and all you have to do is pick a fight? Fine, here have a fight! You are unhappy that I didn’t tell you how my father wants to force me in a marriage I don’t want to be in? Boho, I am so so sorry for you Ajax. Really, I can’t fathom to imagine how much you must struggle with this, but oh well, life must be so hard when you keep travelling around Teyvat. Because I really can’t imagine how life would be outside this place, what it’s like to have anything to do. Have you ever noticed, ever realised how much I hate it? Hate the wating? Because that’s all I do! I wait for your letters, and I wait for you to return. All I ever do I wait, wait, wait. Wait for you to come home yes and wait for you to finally be ready for something, anything more!”, the tears were now streaming down your hot, angry face. Childe just looked at you, waiting for you to end what you had to say. “I am tired of waiting! I am tired of keeping us hidden, yes, I agreed to it too in the beginning, but now? Dammit, Ajax. I don’t want to be left alone here when you go to Liyue, I don’t want to wait if I don’t know for how long I should wait. I just- “it became harder for you to speak, sobs interrupting you every few seconds. “I wish you would let me join you.” Except for your sobs, which you tried to supress, silence fell over the two of you. Childe just stood there in front of you, watching how you tried to stop the tears. “You know I can’t take you with me. It’s… it’s not safe,” he said after a while. You didn’t expect for him to change his mind, however his words didn’t make you feel any better… on the contrary they made you feel even feel worse. “Leave me alone,” was all you could tell him in that moment. You didn’t want to have him near you, you didn’t want to see his stupid face or look at his sad, blue eyes. Right now, you only wanted to be alone. “(Y/N)”, Childe began softly, wanting to take you in his arms but the look you gave him made him stop dead in his tracks. “Please, I need to be alone now”. The atmosphere was heavy, both of you didn’t want to part on bad terms but – right now wasn’t the right moment to make up. “I will leave you alone, but (Y/N)”, he said, looking at you with regret about how he acted just earlier, “please wait for me.” You scoffed at his words. Wait for him, again. “(Y/N)”, you turned away, so you didn’t have to see his face when he spoke your name again. “(Y/N), please. Please promise me that you will wait for me, I’ll come back, I promise you and I will make up for this… and for making you always wait for me. I promise. You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice.” At the mention of the nursery rhyme you had to chuckle a bit. “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend,

the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again,” you finished it, looking back at him. “Fine, I’ll wait. But leave now.” And with that Childe left you alone, leaving Morespesok for Liyue the next day.

It has been a few months now since Childe came to Liyue and while his endeavours here were more or less successful, what was on his mind most of the days was you and how you both parted. He wanted to kick himself in the arse for how he acted that day, for making you so angry and for making you cry. The worst however is how you haven’t written him a single letter yet and Childe, though he would never admit it because of his pride, was too scared to send you one first. That he should be the first one to send you a letter was something he was aware of but still – he couldn’t find the right words. What should he write? Every time he sat down at his desk, looking at the piece of paper in front of him… he was never able to make it past “Dear (Y/N)”, and even with this he wasn’t sure, maybe “Beloved” would sound better? Childe would’ve even considered asking Zhongli for advice, however after finding out that Childe was just a pawn in his plans – he still considers Zhongli a friend, but before he could ask for advice the feeling of betrayal needs to fade out. And now he got the order to return to Snezhnaya by the end of the next month… he felt so anxious at the thought of seeing you again, not even knowing what happened with you the past months. So in the letter to his family in which he announced is return, Childe asked them, after months of not hearing anything from or about you, how you were. When he held the letter of his family in his hands, he started to feel nervous, it included the answer of your wellbeing. He knew you would keep your promise, but still. What if when not? Reading the contents of the letter, however, made him wish that he had asked sooner. Childe couldn’t stop reading the few lines his family wrote about you over and over again.

You asked about (Y/N) wellbeing in your last letter. Ajax, we wish we could tell you some more pleasant news than this, but we haven't seen or heard anything of (Y/N) for a week now. No one really knows where they might be, the last we know is that they left their home after a fight with their father, but there is nothing more we can tell you.

After reading those few lines, the letter already crumply at the edges from the way he held onto it, Childe decided to immediately make his way back home. In his opinion it didn't matter if he returned sooner than ordered and that was a problem he will face later. For now, he wanted to know what had happened to you, because he couldn't, didn’t want to, believe that you left Morepesok... you promised that you would wait for him. But doubt crept into his heart and his mind - you were so frustrated with waiting, he noticed it before you even said anything that night. However, he kept ignoring it. It wasn't like that Childe didn't also wish for more, to build a home with you, to spend more time with you. The feeling of not being good enough for you, something your father and others in Morepesok made clear to him since your childhood together, and the fear of putting a visible target on your back by being by your side... all of it held him back.

The way back home only took him a few days and when he came close to his village, seeing the once so well-known roofs and chimney of the houses, he took a junction into the woods, making his way to the secret hideout of you two. When he arrived, he noticed how it looked lived in, at first a relive for Childe, until he saw the traces of a fight - and blood on the floor. He was quick to follow the trail of blood, the father he went away from the hideout the more blood was on the ground. Suddenly he could hear a strangers voice in the distance.

"Answer me you stupid bitch!", you felt a hand pulling you up by your hair, but you were already too tired, too beaten up and injured to even respond to that violent pull. All you tried to do was to keep your hands on your stomach, trying to stop the blood from gushing out. You could barely remember what had happened, how you got there. It all started over a week ago, when you father came with another suitor wanting to marry you. Like always you turned him down, saying you had no interest in marriage, this time however he wasn't as understand as the others were. The whole thing ended in you having a huge fight with your father about it, he tried to pressure you even more than usual to take that fella as your husband. It made you sick, you just couldn't stomach being around him anymore. You always wanted to make him happy, always feared of disappointing him. But this? Him asking you to marry a random person? It was something you just couldn't do. So you went away, ran out to the little hideout planning to stay there until Childe came back. You wanted to wait for him - you even got over your stupid pride and sent away a letter for him earlier this morning... and maybe this was your mistake. Carefully you tried not to be noticed by the people in your village, you didn’t want anyone to worry about you, however you also didn’t want to explain your disappearance for the last few days. The man who your father tried you to accept as a fiancé however seemed to have spotted you when you left the post-office. It was already too late when you realised that you were followed - the man made his way into the place that was only meant for you and Childe. After that your memory started to get blurry, how was that even possible it just had happened. He attacked you, you fought back, though the man was just stronger... you ran away, feeling the blood already coming from your stomach. Your body started to become weaker, your legs grew heavier and slower until you fell. Now he was above you, grabbing your hair and screaming. It was hard to even focus on what that man said to you, too tired grew your body and mind. 'I have to stay awake', you thought. It was clear that if you lost consciousness now... well, who knows what would happen then, you only knew it wouldn't be good. You had to wait for Childe, you had to be there when he got home.

There were more than a few things in Childes live he wished he never had to see. Seeing your limp body, blood streaming out of your stomach which you could barley cover with your hand, your hair in the hands of some stranger and your eyes struggling to stay open – yes, Childe wished this was something reserved for his nightmares, not for the reality he had to face now. It didn’t even take second for him to react at that sight, swiftly being next to that man and cutting his hand off with one of his blades, kicking the rest of him away. Childe would have loved to take his time with that man, torture him, make him regret that he was born, but what was more important was to stop your bleeding. Quickly Childe sat down next to you on the ground, using his scarf to stop the bleeding. “Ajax,” he could hear you whisper quietly. “Hey, I’m here, everything is fine, everything is going to be okay.” You desperately tried to keep your eyes open, to look at him. He was a mess, his eyes filled with fear and panic spread across his face. Never had you seen him with such an expression. For only what felt a few seconds you closed your eyes and then – “Hey, (Y/N) hey, open your eyes, talk to me”, you opened them and realised that you were in Childes arms now, his eyes switching from you to what was apparently the way to Morepesok. “Ajax…”, it was so cold. When did it became so cold again? “I waited for you and now you’re here… I waited. Kept my promise.” The last few words came out slurred. “Yes, I'm here, you don’t have to wait anymore. I promise you don’t have to wait for me ever again, just please-“ his breathing was heavy, he ran as fast as he could to the village in the hopes that the healers there could help you, that there was anyone who was able to help you now. “Please, don’t close your eyes, okay?” Before you could even answer him that you will try to keep them open you could already feel yourself slip out of conscious again. All you could say before everything went dark was his name again. “Ajax…”

The first thing you noticed was a warm hand on yours. Even before you opened your eyes you knew which hand it was. “Ajax,” you were a bit shocked at the sound of your own voice. It sounded so weak. You opened your eyes, seeing into those deep blue eyes looking at you. “(Y/N)”, he didn’t sound any better. Only now you started to notice the dark circles under his eyes and how his hair looked even messier than usual. Was he by your side the whole time? “How are you feeling?”. “Better than you apparently”, you joked, weakly grinning at him. He smiled back, rubbing the backside of your hand with his thumb. “I’m glad you’re better,” he replied quietly, looking down at the hand he was holding. “I’m glad you’re here.” At that his smile faded, turning into a sad expression and you already knew what this meant. “Don’t tell me…” “I’m sorry, I wasn’t even supposed to be here just yet and my early departure from Liyue apparently has caused some issues and… well, I was able to stay here until you woke up. The deal was when you wake up or-, well that doesn’t matter now. The deal was that I had to go back and fix the damage I caused once you wake up, which is honestly way more generous than I had anticipated.” You didn’t really understand what he was exactly talking about, you were still tired, but all you knew was that he had to go again. There wasn’t any energy left in your body to hold back the tears that were now falling down your face. Childe cupped your face in his hands, wiping away your tears with his thumb. “Hey, listen,” he said softly. “I promise you won’t have to wait for too long, when you recovered, I will send for you.” At this your ears peaked, looking at Childe with hopeful eyes. “Send for me, you mean-?”. “Yes, this time around I’ll be the one waiting for you to arrive in Liyue and not you’re waiting for me to come home.” At that you threw your arms around his neck wanting to hug him, causing you to hiss in pain. You forgot that you still had a stomach wound. “Careful now”, he laughed a bit at how enthusiastic you were about the news that you forgot your injury. “You promise that I will really join you in Liyue?”, you still couldn’t fully believe that he really was fine with it. “You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice,” you leaned back and held your pinkie up in the air. Childe smiled at you softly, interlocking his pinkie with yours. “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again.”

[buckysboobs]

do you like to read fics of angst ? If so, what are your favorites?

i do love angst actually, mostly very angsty hurt comfort enemies to lovers fics with betrayal and stuff. now i have read A SHIT TON of them but i don't remember them all so i'll just mention the ones that i do.

(most of them contain smut and are 18+)

take it back @allandoflimbo (i HAVE to mention that this writer has ruined any other fic for me, i read anything and hope for it to be as perfect as this book was. amazing, so well written and just— the best and my most favourite fic i have ever read. everyday i pick it back and read your beautiful words. made me cry like a baby. frustrated me like no one can. brought out the absolute hating bitch in me. and the smut jesus christ. god bless)

burn the witch @dreamwritesimagines (i keep going back to this fic and reading it because HOLY SHIT THE ANGST??? goddamn.)

its not real hate @mendesreputation (i loved this so so much. i actually kinda cried lmao.)

misconceptions @firefly-in-darkness (THIS WAS SO FRUSTRATING AND SO WELL WRITTEN I WANTED TO SMASH MY HEAD INTO A WALL)

georgia & cant get the words out @pellucid-constellations (their works are so good i swear you guys gotta read 'em)

dont fear the reaper @gogolucky13 (the things this fic make me feel god i couldn't sleep that night. i keep going back to it. i want more parts so fucking bad.

a soldier gone rogue @kinanabinks (best. smut. and angst. and just, the dark theme. literally nothing can compare. i had a phase where i couldn't sleep if i didn't read this every night)

something borrowed @sableseb @fuckandfluff (amazing show stopping talented never been done before and that entire lady gaga monologue but this was so fucking amazing and had me shook for DAYS. you two did an amazing job with it.)

the sun and the shadow @bonky-n-steeb (made me want to throw my phone at the wall sometimes the angst was *chef's kiss*)

a good thing @vanderlustwords (THERE. ARENT. ENOUGH. MOB!READER X BUCKY. FICS. OUT. THERE. this was so fucking good, the angst was perfect and i hated it so much because it's so fucking good?? and well written? my heart ached.)

jealous @itspufflehuff (breakup fics BREAK ME. this was amazing.)

the right partner @bucky-bucket-barnes (one of the best enemies to lovers fics out there, the angst and the emotional connection and the eventual falling in love.. nothing is rushed and it's so perfect.)

the moment i knew @sergeantbuckybarnes (wanted to off myself truly this was so good and my heart was breaking through each sentence. wow.)

eye for an eye & capital letters @sinner-as-saint (literally EVERY SINGLE THING THEY'VE WRITTEN IS GODLY ONE OF MY FAVOURITE WRITERS ON HERE. THE ANGST THE BETRAYAL THE SMUT THEIR EVERYTHING YOU ARE GODLY HELLO?$?($)

you fracture light here @divine-mistake (another one of my favourite writers. this broke me honestly it really did.)

this is war @soldatbarnes (made me want to beat the living shit out of bucky. thats how good this was.)

i think this would be it for now, i can remember the plot of so many more of my favourites but i forgot the username and titles because i literally sit and binge read fics to feel something 😭 anyways, they are all such amazing writers and all their works are worth reading. check em out !