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#ive got a lot on my plate and as much as i want to draw for rain world the most i can manage is silly stuff. consider this a stand in for-
mipexch · 6 months
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there's something so beautiful about rain world's art style that i can't properly put into words
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muffinsin · 2 months
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Theres alot to do, 2 in depth artist research for all my subjects, shoots, testing, development peices- which we need to do a further 1-2 artist research, 3 small development peices that is also testing, a gallery visit, thumbnails, annotation for everything, a minimum of 5 response drawings for each shoot and gallery visits and to finish up on all work to be presented for tomorrow. Cant use the same shoot of the gallery tho for each subject bc you cant have the same thing in all your subjects as i will fail. And if i dont get everything done i will be behind and possibly fail.
This is all to have been done in a week. And ill ive done is catch up on coursework from last year, read, play minecraft and stare at my walls. Its my fault for not fucking doing everything, i’m just lazy. 🫠
-deluded anon
Sweetie, you’re not lazy. Just reading all these things feels overwhelming, I couldn’t blame you if you felt overwhelmed by it or intimidated by the amount of work. Aside from this, catching up on last year’s work is important, don’t you downplay that.
As for the work itself, have you got people in mind for the artist research? Depending on how much work this is, it sounds like one of the tasks that can be solved easier or faster than the rest, so I’d recommend starting with this.
Then the gallery visit- have you got one and a day in mind? Scheduling it could help you, as then one thing will be off your plate for the moment. Do you have people to work with? I found it can be very productive to work with a friend, especially if they have a similar task to finish. I’m afraid I won’t be able to help you hunny, but do you have friends in class or so that can help you? Preferably not those assholes that you’ve thankfully cut off
Then, falling behind doesn’t mean you will fail. It means challenging times are ahead, but not necessarily to fail🙌
And lastly, there is nothing good coming from blaming yourself hon. Even if you didn’t do what you wanted to, and now face a lot of work- that’s done with. Now it’s time to make up for it, to start small, with one of the tasks and work your way up
I hope this helped-
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megacarapa · 2 years
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i finally got off my ass to compile all these into a post, heres all the stuff i made at the ceramics class i went to *checks date* 3 MONTHS AGO??? by lord time moves fast these days
individual/process photos under the cut, fair warning for a loooot of pictures like a LOT
general process pics
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bowls
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plate 1
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plate 2 + whatever this heart shape thing is
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maja ended up taking both of them to use for jewelry as pictured above, by this point i feel the need to explain that the entire time i was in this class i had no fucking idea what i was doing and didnt really prepare in the sense of think about what kind of stuff i want to make, so i just spent the whole time making random stuff (except for 2 which i will show in a bit) hence this random heart and whatever this alien colored thing up next is
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^im thinking im probably gonna gift this to my neighbour to use as an ashtray
another random one but im gonna use it as a candle holder
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random figures i made while trying to figure out what to make next that i didnt think would survive the bake but the prof baked them anyway and they... kinda survived but they both just kept going through accident after accident and ended up Like That
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they’ve been through it all DFGDFGDFG the reason why the snowman is green is bc when we were painting them it took me a while to paint all of my stuff so by the time i was finishing my last one they were already packing up all the colors and when i finished i noticed i forgot to paint the snowman and green was one of the only colors left so i just. dipped him in the green real quick so now hes a fucked up little alien snowman
it begs the question of is it better to exist in a non-fucked up state or to just not exist at all? they may both be fucked up but i made them and theyre mine and i love them so much.
onto the last 2 things which are the ones im actually really happy with - this plate (?? english is hard) for holding cake i made at mom’s request
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and this cat bowl i made trying to make sth like this
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lots of pictures bc its my pride and joy lmao i love it SO MUCH😭😭 i was origianlly planning to draw a face like >.< on the cat but as i said i was rushing to finish all the painting and completely forgot to draw a face sdgdfg, but judging from how well the face on the other cat ended up maybe its better this way
and so while i was actually attending the class i had no ideas of what i wanted to make but i swear to god the SECOND i finished the class i started seeing a bunch of cool ceramics everywhere and being like OMG I WANNA MAKE THAT I WANNA MAKE THAT but i CANT anymore bc the class is over and UGHHHH I MISS CERAMICS SO MUCH TAKE ME BACK BABY I PROMISE IVE CHANGED OTL
in summary this class was really nice and i obviously still have a shit ton to learn so im really hoping i can do something like this again in the future o(-(
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marvelous-harry · 3 years
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Caught In a Lie Part 2
Harry/Florence/Reader Warnings: Needles, Dom!Harry, Dom!Florence, Sub!Fem!Reader Words: 4.9K Summary: It's time for the dreaded doctor's appointment. A/N: This took so long to finish cause of life and general writers' block. Hopefully, the story will be worth the wait! Part 1 “Babe, it’s time to wake up,” Harry whispered as he sat down at the edge of the bed and stroked a hand over my hair. Whimpering, I pulled on the blankets while shaking my head. “Still sleepy,” I whispered. “Cuddle,” I added as I grabbed his hand and hugged it.
“It’s 9.30 am love. You need to get up and get ready. Your doctor’s appointment is at 11, remember?” Harry said softly, leaning down to hug me as he pressed kisses to my cheek.
“I don’t feel very well, we should reschedule,” I whispered, keeping my eyes firmly closed and burrowed further into my pillow and blankets.
“That just means it’s even more important that we go to the doctor, baby,” Harry sighed as he sat up.
“Nooo!” I protested as he put his hands around me and lifted me up. “No! I’m not going, you can’t make me. I want Flossie!” I whined as I finally opened my eyes and looked at him. “Flossie!” I whimpered and tried to get out of his hold.
“Florence is at work, she left hours ago. We are going to the doctor, now you have 45 minutes to get ready and have something to eat. I don’t care if you spend those minutes being a brat, I’ll take you over my knee and then drive you there while you’re still in your pajamas. That choice is yours,” Harry said sternly as he gripped my jaw.
I whimpered and hugged him tightly as he let my jaw go. “But I don’t want a spanking!” I told him, pouting as I looked up at him.
“Well you better behave then so I don’t have to spank you,” Harry said with a little smile as he poked my nose. Grumbling, I pressed my face against his neck and played with his cross necklace.
“I know you’re worried and overthinking it but I’ll be right next to you the whole time if that’s what you want. It’ll be over before you know it. You can squeeze my hand as tightly as you can the whole time,” Harry spoke gently. “You need to go get ready like a good girl now okay? I’ll go make you some toast for breakfast,” he said as he pulled back.
Nodding, I stopped playing with his necklace. “Okay but I don’t want any breakfast. I’m not hungry,” I told him as I started moving off his lap.
“I’ll chop you up some fruit and if you still don’t feel like having anything when you’re done getting ready we can just eat it later,” Harry replied as he got off the bed and pulled the blankets down and over to air them and the mattress out. I just hummed a little note as I walked into the bathroom to get a quick shower and get dressed.
-
Pulling the cardigan tightly around me, I chewed on my lip as I walked into the kitchen where I could hear Harry moving about. A quick glance at the clock let me know we should probably start driving into town soon.
“I’m ready,” I announced and sat down on one of the kitchen table chairs. Picking at my nails, I kept staring at them as Harry put a glass of juice and a little plate of different kinds of fruit on the table next to me.
Harry pulled up a chair and sat down in front of me. “You should try and eat some and have the juice,” he said, pulling the plate closer while nudging me with his knee.
I moved from my chair and sat down on his leg. Twirling a strand of his hair around my fingers, I kissed his neck before moving up to his mouth. Closing my eyes, I kissed him eagerly as his hands went to my hips. Moaning, I stroked my hand down his t-shirt and over his crotch.
“Baby, stop,” Harry said as he ended the kiss and moved my hand off his crotch. “But I want to taste you. Please!” I pouted as I moved my hand back and stroked him gently.
Harry grabbed my arm firmly and moved it away. “That is enough. Did you think you could distract me from your appointment by offering a blow job like I’m some sex-crazed teenager? Hmmm? Do not try to manipulate me again. Now drink up your glass of juice, have a few pieces of each fruit. We need to get going,” Harry helped me off his lap before spinning me around and landing three hard smacks on my covered bum.
Sitting down, I wiped my eyes quickly before grabbing the glass of juice and chugging it down while Harry cleaned up the chopping board and wiped down the counters.
“Harry? I ate three of each, is that enough?” I asked as I pushed around a little blueberry on the plate.
Harry turned off the faucet and dried off his hands before walking over. He tilted my head up as he looked at me seriously. “Yes it is, thank you for listening. Do you understand why I got cross and gave you those smacks?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I replied quietly. “Not nice,”
“That’s right. We use our mouths to talk and we discuss if we want something, and we don’t use sex against each other to get our will either,”
“I’m sorry!” I whimpered, grabbing his hand and pressing a kiss to his wrist.
“You’re forgiven, I understand why you did it but next time I won’t be as l nice about it,” He explained and pulled me up from the chair. “Go put your shoes on, I’ll put this away,” he pressed a kiss to my cheek before grabbing the plate and the empty glass.
--
I could barely pay attention as the doctor asked me a bunch of routine questions so my answers were all over the place and before I knew it the actual doctors’ appointment was over and we were being told to go wait outside the lab for my turn to go in.
“I think I’m going to pass out,” I said as we stepped out of the doctor’s office and close the door behind us.
“Just keep breathing and if you do pass out I will catch you in my big strong arms,” Harry smiled as he put his hand around me.
“You’re not funny,” I huffed as I poked him hard in the side causing him to grin.
Waiting until Harry sat down, I took a seat in his lap and started plucking at my nails again as the nerves kept getting worse and worse.
Harry laced his fingers with mine and gave me a little smile as I leaned against him.
“Number 309?” A nurse asked as she stepped out into the hallway and looked around. I looked up at her wide-eyed and held my breath.
“Is it okay if I come in with her? She’s a little nervous about getting her blood drawn,” Harry smiled as he squeezed my hand.
“Of course! Why don’t you both take a seat at the examination table and we can have a little chat before we start,” the nurse smiled. I looked at her and she looked nice enough. Walking into the room, I took a seat next to Harry - never letting go of his hand.
“So you’re a little nervous?” the nurse asked as she sat down on her little rolling stool and moved closer to us. I nodded and bit down hard on my bottom lip.
“Is it the needle that makes you nervous or having your blood drawn? Or something else?” she asked, clasping her hands together as she looked at me. Harry stroked his thumb over my hand when I took a bit to answer.
“The needle,” I replied quietly and looked away. “I’m scared it’ll hurt or that it’ll break inside my arm,” I mumbled.
“It’s very common to feel that way. Have you had any bad experiences in the past with getting your blood drawn? Ever fainted or something like that?” she looked at me curiously. I nodded.
“I used to get sick a lot as a kid so I was at the doctors and the hospital quite often and it always hurt so much when they’d draw blood or put an IV in. And I’ve never fainted, just felt very lightheaded and like I was about to,” I explained.
“I see, I see. I can’t promise you won’t feel anything at all but it shouldn’t hurt. It should just feel like a little prick and maybe something like a pressure feeling as I move the needle just slightly into your arm. As for the needle breaking, it’s very very rare, I’ve not heard or seen it happen ever. The needles we use are made from stainless steel and it would take a great deal of force for it to break,” the nurse glanced at Harry.
“How are you with needles?” she asked while rolling over to her hand sanitizer and cleaning her hands.
“I’m good,” Harry smiled back with a small nod.
“Wonderful,” the nurse smiled as she looked back at me. “What would make you more comfortable going through the steps of what I need to do beforehand or telling you whilst I’m doing it or just do it with how I usually do it?”
I licked my lips nervously and looked at Harry for help. “You have to decide,” he urged me. “Emm just do as you normally do I guess. I don’t have to watch right?”
“No, you don’t have to watch. Could you take off your cardigan please?” she asked while grabbing her rolling tray and an arm support stand.
Letting go of Harry’s hand I slipped off my cardigan and rubbed my palms against my jeans as I looked over all the things on her tray. Blood vials in different colours, a sharps container, cotton balls, tape, and a bunch of needles were on it.
“Let’s see what hand looks the most promising,” the nurse mused as she gently turned over my arm and gave it a quick little glance before grabbing the tourniquet and securing it around my arm.
Grabbing Harry’s hand tightly, I turned my head against him and rested it against his shoulder as I tried to remember to breathe. Whimpering quietly as I felt her move my arm up on the arm support stand, and clean the inside of my elbow, I tensed up and held my breath.
“Baby, you have to breathe,” Harry whispered as he pressed a kiss to my head.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to think of anything else but the fact that I was about to be stabbed in the arm.
“Little pinch now,” the nurse said, causing me to squeeze Harry’s hand as tight as I could. I could feel my eyes welling up with tears and I felt slightly lightheaded as I could feel the needle going in.
“You’re doing really good, I’m almost done,” the nurse said encouragingly as she switched out the vial and put another one in. I did a sniffle and whimpered as I felt her pull the needle back out.
“That’s it! All done!” she grinned as she pressed down on the cotton ball she’d taped over the little needle prick. “The results of the blood tests will take a few days till a week and then they will be sent to your doctor and you’ll hear from her if there’s anything you need to know,” she patted my arm before she started cleaning up.
Sitting up, I looked down at my arm and pressed down on the cotton ball just in case I was still bleeding out.
“Are you feeling okay? Feeling any dizziness or like you’re about to faint?” she asked as she rolled the tray and the stand away.
I shook my head. “No, not now. I was a little lightheaded earlier but it’s gone now,” I grabbed my cardigan and held it close.
“Wonderful, that means you’re free to go,” the nurse said as she stood up and opened the door for us.
“Bye,” Harry waved as he took my hand and guided me out of the room. He glanced around the waiting room to the lab to check no one was around before kissing me hard.
“I’m so proud of you, darling! You did it! So brave,” Harry gushed and peppered little kisses on my cheek.
Giggling, I grinned. “I did it,” I said quietly and looked down at my arm again, feeling quite proud of myself.
“Come on, let’s go home,” Harry put his hand around my waist and held me close as we started heading out.
---
“I can’t wait to tell Flossie and show her. Do you know when she’s off work today?” I grinned while practically skipping up the three little steps to our front door.
Harry followed me up the stairs and unlocked the front door and held it open for me. “She’s already home,” he smiled and pointed at her keychain lying in our designated keychain bowl.
“Flossie!” I called out and kicked off my shoes. “Flossie, where are you?” I yelled again and listened for her reply while taking off my cardigan, getting ready to show her my ‘bandage’. Walking into the kitchen, I whined as she wasn’t there. “Florence!” I looked at Harry as I walked into the living room. “I can’t find her and she isn’t answering me!” I whined.
Harry rolled his eyes as he put his wallet away. “You checked one room, baby,” he chuckled and put his hands on my shoulders. “Let’s go see if she’s upstairs,” he said and turned me around.
“Well to be fair the kitchen is her favorite room in the whole house so the odds were in my favor,” I grumbled slightly while walking up the stairs. Opening the door to our bedroom, I grinned happily. “Flossie!” I shouted and ran over.
Florence jumped and took the AirPods out of her ears as she turned around in her seat by the vanity and looked at Harry, who gave her a smile and a little nod before she looked at me.
“I did it! Look! I didn’t faint, bleed to death or cry!” I said as I put my arm out and showed her the little cotton ball taped to my arm.
“Baby! I’m so proud of you! Come here,” Flo smiled and opened her arms.
Sitting down on her lap, I gave her a tight hug. “The nurse was super nice and Harry held my hand the whole time,” I explained while pulling back.
Flo looked over at Harry who had taken a seat on the bed and was looking at us endearingly. “Have you thanked him for coming with you?” she asked, running her hand up my thigh.
I shook my head no and bit my lip as she got closer and closer to my crotch.
“Well, that just won't do. Why don’t you be a good girl and ask him if he’d like your mouth or your pussy as a thank you,” she said while pulling her hand back.
I nodded as I stood up, got undressed, and stepped over to where Harry was before getting down on my knees in front of him. Looking him in the eyes, I put my hands behind my back and straightened up my back. “Thank you for coming with me today, Harry. I wouldn’t have been able to get through it without you. I’d like to make you feel good, please. Would you like my mouth or my pussy to use?” I asked.
Harry let his eyes roam all over me, making me all hot and bothered as he put his hands on his knees and leaned forward. “You want me to use you, baby? As my own little fuck toy?” he asked with a slight smirk.
“Yes, please,” I replied eagerly.
Harry stood up and took off his jumper before shrugging off the rest of his clothes, letting it all fall into a messy pile on the floor.
Putting my hands on my thighs, I looked at his cock and took a little breath to calm myself as Harry wrapped his fingers around his hardening cock and slowly stroked himself. “Open your mouth,” he ordered.
Quickly opening my mouth, I stuck my tongue out for good measure and looked at him eagerly.
“Pretty girl,” Florence smiled as she walked over and stood by Harry’s side, putting an arm around him. She too had gotten undressed.
My whole body heated up with embarrassment and horniness as they looked up at me sitting here with my mouth open, on my knees, and pussy on display.
“Go on, get your lips around me,” Harry said finally as he let go of his cock.
Shuffling closer, I grasped the base of his cock as I took him in my mouth. Moaning, I closed my eyes and licked at the cock head.
Flossie pulled Harry down for a kiss. “Fuck,” Harry muttered against her lips as he put one hand on my head, grasping my hair while the other wrapped around Florence, pulling her even closer.
Relaxing my jaw, I took a deep breath before slowly easing Harry’s cock into my mouth until it hit the back of my throat. I kept it in as long as I could before easing back a bit and just bobbing my head trying to make Harry moan or grip my hair tighter, something to let me know I was doing good.
Looking up I could see that Harry and Flossie were still making out, and Harry’s hand had traveled down to her bum, squeezing and stroking it, not paying nearly enough attention to me.
I moved off his cock and licked at the head before letting my tongue lick from the base of his cock and all the way up to the head before taking just the cock head in my mouth and sucking on it.
“Fuck, that’s nice,” Harry moaned and stroked my hair. “We should move to the bed. I want to eat you out,” he said as he looked at Florence.
“No objections from me,” Flossie grinned as she got up on the bed and piled the pillows together to lean on before spreading her legs.
“I want to eat you out too!” I protested as I stood up and quickly got on the bed, crawling quickly up the mattress - wanting to get to her pussy first.
“You come lie next to me, you can eat me out later. Harry is going first,” Florence patted the spot next to her.
Letting out a loud whine, I shook my head and moved a little closer to her pussy. “Me first!”
“Don’t be a greedy brat. Move,” Harry said sharply before landing a hard smack on my bum.
“It’s not fair!” I grumbled as I moved over and lied down next to Flossie, cuddling up to her as I watched Harry get between her legs. “I’m the sub, I’m the one who’s supposed to eat pussy, and suck cocks, and give you pleasure!” I protested, sticking out my bottom lip.
“If that was the case you’d never be on the receiving end of oral ever, darling,” Florence chuckled before letting out a breathy moan when Harry spread her pussy lips apart and swiped his tongue up before giving her clit a little suck.
“Well obviously it’s your job as my doms to take care of me,” I mumbled as I watched Harry.
“You clearly need to get spanked more. Such a fucking brat,” Flossie said before smacking my ass.
Harry pushed Flossie’s legs further apart with a smirk before pushing his face close and licking at her hole.
“Fuck!” Flo moaned loudly and reached down, grabbing onto his hair and pulling him even closer. “Your fucking tongue,” she hissed.
Licking my lips as I moaned. I couldn’t tear my eyes away. Harry looked so good with his face buried between her legs. I didn’t know who I was more jealous of. Harry or Flossie.
“Can I touch myself, please?” I asked and glanced up at Florence. I knew I was soaking wet, feeling the slick going down my thighs.
“Don’t you dare. You’ll get the attention you so badly want in a minute,” Florence replied in between moans.
Biting my lip, I tried to ignore how that sounded more like a threat than a pleasant promise. I got up on my knees and put my hands down on my thighs as I figured it wasn’t too late to start behaving and maybe convince them I wasn’t that much of a brat.
Harry moved his lips up to Flossie’s clit and flicked his tongue over it quickly while opening his eyes and looking up at her.
“So close,” Flo moaned as she tightened her hold on his hair and rolled her hips against his tongue. Throwing her head back as Harry sucked and licked at her clit faster, Florence let out a long moan as she cummed. She panted as she closed her eyes and let go of Harry’s hair.
Harry took one last lick at her pussy before pressing a kiss to her clit. He climbed over her leg and wrapped a hand around my throat, squeezing lightly as he leaned in and kissed me.
Moaning against his lips, I spread my legs as I felt Flossie stroking her hand up my thigh and stroked her thumb over my clit.
“Please. Want to cum,” I begged as two of Flo’s fingers prodded at my hole but didn’t go in. “Please,” Harry took his hand off my neck and let it fall to my boobs, taking one in each hand and used his fingers to flick at my hard nipples.
Whining as I thrust my hips into Florence’s hand. “Please! Stop teasing, I’m so close already,”
“Lie down on your back,” Harry instructed before giving nipples one final tug before letting them go.
Eagerly lying down, I spread my legs wide apart and looked at them both pleadingly. “Flossie, Harry, please,”
Florence leaned over me and kissed me slowly while she rested her hand on my lower stomach. “You want Harry to fuck you, darling? Make you cum?” she asked just as Harry teased his cockhead against my pussy lips.
Nodding quickly, I took a deep breath to try and calm down. “Please! You know I get so turned on watching you two, so hot,” I said while glancing between them.
“Oh, we know,” Harry smirked before thrusting his cock into me.
“Oh god, fuck!” I gasped, grasping onto the bedsheets and arching my back.
“All better now? Got your pussy all full and nice,” Florence teased running her fingertips up and down my stomach. I nodded, enjoying how Harry was thrusting in and out of me so deeply.
“She’s so fucking wet, love” Harry groaned as he dug his fingernails into the skin of my hips. “Don’t blame her. You’re very sexy when you get eaten out,” he grinned.
Florence chuckled and moved closer to give him a hot, deep kiss. “Not as sexy as you look between my legs,” she gave him one more kiss before giving my clit a little slap.
Letting out a little shout, I clenched around Harry’s cock and looked at them shocked. “I think I just came,” I said quietly and panted.
“From me slapping you? Did it feel nice?” she asked as she rubbed her finger over my clit.
Whimpering, I squirmed as it was even more sensitive now. “Yeah, definitely came, and no! I barely felt anything,” I whined and looked at them sadly.
“Poor little slut. Didn’t get to cum the way she wanted,” Harry teased while Florence kept rubbing my clit. “Nearly cummed as well when you clenched so tightly around me,” he said while fucking me faster and harder.
“With Harry being so generous and fucking you so nicely I think you can cum again, darling,” Florence smiled widely as she brought her hand up to my mouth and put two fingers into my mouth.
Sucking on them, I blushed and held her hand as she fucked my mouth slowly with her fingers.
“Yeah, you can,” Flo smirked and took out her fingers and put the wet fingers on my clit, stroking them up and down.
“Fuck, Flossie, please. Too sensitive,” I whined but pushed up against her and Harry as I could feel the familiar feeling of an orgasm building again. Her wet, soft fingers felt so good as she rubbed them over my clit.
Harry sped up his thrusts. “Going to cum soon,” he warned, closing his eyes as he held on even tighter to my hips.
Florence started swiping at my clit faster. “Doesn’t that sound nice, baby? Get filled up on Harry’s cum? Making him feel so good, pet. Such a good girl for us aren’t you?” she whispered close to my ear.
“Good girl for you,” I mumbled out, my fingers twitching against the bed. “I’m gonna cum,” I moaned, feeling so close again. “Please, can I? Need to cum,”
“You can cum, baby. Cum around Harry’s cock,” Florence said moving her fingers as fast as she could while Harry fucked me just as fast.
Moaning loudly, I held on tightly to the bedsheets as I cummed for the second time. Harry was moaning as well, blending together with mine as he buried his cock deep into me, filling me up.
He was breathing heavily and a strand of hair was handing over his forehead as he did a few lazy thrusts. “Fucking hell,” he breathed out before pulling out slowly.
Florence stopped rubbing at my clit and pushed her fingers into my pussy. “Jesus, you weren’t lying when you said she was wet,” she chuckled and did a few thrusts with her fingers before pulling them out. “Taste yourself and Harry,” she said and held the fingers to my lips.
Shuddering, I poked my tongue out and let it swipe over her fingers before opening my mouth and sucking off his cum mixed with my juices. I couldn’t help but moan at the taste and clean every inch of her fingers.
“Fucking hell, going to make me hard again already,” Harry said as he watched, propping himself up on his elbow.
Flo moved her fingers back down and eased them into me again.
Again, I couldn’t help the little moan that escaped me.
Florence smirked as she pumped her fingers into me a few more times before pulling them out and landing a smack to my pussy.
Letting out a little scream, I whimpered as I looked up at her with tired, hazy eyes. “Please, no more” I begged, seeing the look in her eyes.
“You got one more in you, I know it, pet. Harry, why don’t you pass me that clit vibrator that’s in the drawer and hold her hands down for me?” she asked and held out her hand.
“No, please. It’s too much, Flossie, please, I can’t cum again,” I pleaded as I brought my legs together and placed my hands over my pussy to protect myself while letting out a little sob.
“Here,” Harry handed over the vibrator before grabbing my arms and putting them over my head. He held them together with one of his hands and pulled on one of my nipples while he gave me a kiss. “Just one more, you can do it,” he whispered.
Florence spread my legs and kneeled between them as she ran a teasing finger over my sensitive clit. “You can cum when you need to,” she said while placing the vibrator against my clit.
Whimpering, I squirmed and tried to lift my arms up but they were so tired they had no chance against Harry’s grip. I got the tiniest little warning as I could hear Florence turning on the vibrator before I felt it come to life. My eyes closed and my mouth fell open as I tensed up. I could feel my orgasm building up but fuck it hurt so good. “P-please,” I stuttered out and tried opening my eyes to look at them but my eyelids were too heavy.
Harry kissed my nipple before taking it in his mouth. He placed his teeth around and pulled on it slowly before letting it go. “Turn it to the highest setting,” he told Flo and looked at her with a grin.
There was a quiet little click again before the vibrations got super strong. Pressing my heels down onto the bed, I arched up slightly and my legs trembled as I orgasmed for the third time. Collapsing back down on the mattress, I felt the vibrator getting turned off and Harry letting go of my arms.
Catching my breath, I smacked my lips as I let Harry and Flo move me around till I was under the blankets. “M’melted,” I mumbled as Harry wrapped his hands around me and pulled me close to his chest.
“Get some rest, darling. You’ve earned it,” Flossie said softly and pressed a little kiss to my forehead. I just hummed before my breath evened out and I fell into a deep, restful sleep.
Masterlist
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selineram3421 · 2 years
Text
Camilo X Reader:
Tears V
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{ I , II , III , IV .}
Summary: Camilo, who is still as Bruno, takes you to his tía Julieta.
~
After checking over your injuries, Camilo begins to stand up.
"Ok, lets go tell your mom what-", before he could turn around, he feels you pull on his pant leg, tugging at it hurriedly.
Looking down, he sees you shaking your head quickly, tear stains on your face. He kneels down again and grabs your hand.
"No? Wha-", he looks for something he could do to help, looking at your eyes when he gets something. "I could take you to Julieta. Are you ok with that?"
You nod and put your arms around his neck as he lifts you up, hiding your face. "Thank you Bruno.", you whisper into the man's neck.
Camilo stands there for a minute, remembering that he was still as his tío.
"Yeah.. No problem.", he says and begins making his way to Casita.
He gets a few stares from the towns people, but he ignores it and goes straight into the house.
"Tí- Julieta! I need help!", he says, almost forgetting that he was supposed to be Bruno.
"Bruno? Weren't you-", his tía comes out from the kitchen and gasps once she sees your beat up form. "Dios mio!"
"Please get them something.", he pleads, shifting his face quickly to show her that it was him and not her brother.
The woman in the blue dress nods and goes back into the kitchen quickly to get something. Camilo brings you to sit on the bench that was in the court yard near the kitchen area, sitting next to you after you kept clinging onto him.
"Ok, I've got some arepas.", she comes back with a plate of food, picking up the pan. "Here, eat up.", she tells you softly.
Slowly, you peak over your shoulder and look at the food being presented to you. Looking up at Bruno, he gives you a nod to go ahead and eat. Taking the bread, you mumble a thank you and take a bite. After chewing and swallowing, you start to feel a whole lot better. Lifting your hand up, you can see the scratches heal.
"Bruno. A word.", Julieta says and puts the plate on the bench, telling you that you can eat as much as you like before heading back into the kitchen.
The man in green moves your arms and kneels down in front of you. "I'll be right back, ok? Just stay here.", he tells you and goes into the kitchen.
Camilo enters the kitchen and sees his tío eating some fruit. Bruno pauses when seeing another him.
"I have a twin?", the man jokes.
The boy shifts back into himself and looks down at his twiddling hands.
"Explain now.", his tía says low enough so you won't hear.
"I was going to go apologize to them. Properly like mi mamí wanted..", he says quietly and takes a breath. "..but when I was going to their house, I heard crying and I found them getting beat up. I turned into tío to scare the kids off. Then I brought them here."
The two adults soften their eyes at their nephew.
Bruno gets up and comes over to give him a pat on the shoulder. "You did good Camilo."
The three walk out of the kitchen and find you with Mirabel, who's talking about being excited for their birthday that's coming up soon.
"And then I'll get my gift!", the curly haired girl with glasses says with a smile.
You nod with a small smile before noticing the others once the girl stops talking. Turning to face them, your eyes widen when you see the shape shifter and you scoot closer to Mirabel, slightly hiding at her side.
Julieta nudges Camilo towards you.
"I- um..", he looks at his hands and then up at you. "I'm really sorry for ripping your drawing. That was mean."
His tío nudges him this time.
"And I hope we can be friends.", he finishes.
All you do is nod, staying quieter than you were before. One of them calls your mom over and explains what happened. She frets over you and thanks the Madrigals before taking you home.
"Now the hard part.", Julieta says and looks at Camilo. "We have to tell your mother what happened."
~
Its official! This is now becoming its own story!
~Seline, the person.
Taglist@
@mayuhiideyo135 @elegantkidfansoul @sunnth @xdyledz @sweettooth-simps @miwtycloud @yoshiiizy @lolalee24
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ssplague · 3 years
Text
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Chapter 0ne
“And so it begins”
Katsuki B. X Reader
Rated M
Warnings: Gaslighting, manipulation, power play, light degradation
The day before the two of you left for UA; Your best friend gave her word to your mother that she would always look after you. Now that the two of you are in your third year she’s officially FED UP with your attitude and childish antics. Mentioning her dilemma to your shared group of friends results in the most unlikely person offering to be her solution to the problem that is YOU.
A/N: The girl in the banner is NOT how the reader is “supposed” to look, it was just a drawing I did specifically for this. You look however you want to, I don’t really make any specific references to your appearance in this story.
🌅
Its Saturday morning; Ive been awake for about five minutes now, but I’m not ready to open my eyes and embrace the conscious world just yet. Hearing the door of my room unlock and open does the trick though. Only one person (other than myself of course) has a key to my dorm room.
“I made breakfast for the both of us, its your favorite” announces Euphie as she walks in, kicking the door shut behind her. I sit up, just as she’s pushing my black out curtains to the side I let out a hiss of disdain as sunlight immediately begins to permeate the room.
“Thank you Euphie” I say with a yawn.
She hands me a plate before settling down on my bed, acknowledging my thanks with a nod as we both tuck in.
“We have plans this afternoon, can you be ready by at least 12:30? No need to get super made up but at least out of your pajamas?” Euphies voice is gentle, but I catch the underlying “I’m not asking, but telling you” vibe she tries to hide.
“For sure”
She smiles at my seemingly agreeable mood so early in the morning and we easily segway into our standard start of the day discussions. “Are we um…Are we going to be busy all day? I….I kinda planned on going to hangout with-“ Euphie cuts me off as she picks up our plates: “No worries you’ll have plenty of time for that, I promise!” Giving me a wink before shutting my door.
She didn’t even know who I was referring to, or what I was going to say….
At 12:55 Euphie reappears to rush me out of my room.
“Hey I forgot my purse I-“
“Don’t need it”
“But my wallet is-“
“Not necessary”
Her tone is clipped, and she has a death grip on my wrist as she quite literally drags me down the hallway. Initially I was taken aback, not being used to receiving this type of treatment from her. My bearings have started returning along with growing frustration each time one of my questions are receiving one word answers, or met with a complete dismissal. Reaching my limit I fail to notice that she’d began to slow down, and I’m wrenching my wrist free of her grip at the exact same time she’d come to a stop.
“What in the fuck is your problem?! You told me that we had plans to go out this afternoon, and you’d treat me to whatever I want!
This-“ I’m interrupted again.
“I certainly wouldn’t do anything for a fuckin’ brat throwing a tantrum like this”
My eyes snap to the side where I see the irritated scowl of one Katsuki Bakugou, as he leans against his door frame glowering at me. Embarrassment further fuels my anger as I turn toward him, pointing an acusatory finger as I begin “No one fucking asked you, stay out of it Katsu-“.
Kirishima suddenly emerges from Bakugo’s room, giving Euphie an enthusastic greeting
“Hey there! You look nice, ready to head out?”. The red head is flashing his signature shark toothed grip at my best friend as he offers her his arm. “You know it” she giggles, taking hold of his muscular bicep. The two of them start to walk off, confused and furious I start to head after them, but a large hand grips my shoulder grounding me in place.
“Bakugo told me he wouldn’t mind keeping an eye on you while Kiri and I went out this afternoon, this way you’ll stay out of trouble and get to keep the plans you’d made with him, bye!” The closing elevator doors add a sudden finalization to her brief explanation.
“Plans?” Bakugo questions while uncermoniously yanking me backwards.
I stumble back, falling through the doorway and landing flat on my ass in front of the now closed door (Which he is standing in front of). Glaring up at him as he continues: “She must have me confused with the local brothel, because thats the only place I’d imagine wearing a skirt as short as that would be deemed appropriate”. His insult doesn’t deter his crimson eyes from roaming the length of my body, lingering on the aforementioned skirt. Getting to my feet, he walks around me and move towards his desk, taking a seat behind it.
“Oh fuck you Katsuki, you can be a real dick sometimes, I dunno what stupid Euphie told you about keeping and eye on me, but I dont need a fucking baby sitter! So ill be off now” with a huff you turn towards the door. “________, I’m not in the mood for bullshit today so just sit down and shut up” he growls, not turning to look at you. He always feels embarrassingly giddy when you adress him by his first name, thats why he insisted you call him by it. That in itself should be an indication of how he seems to favor you.
It makes him almost feel a bit guilty for using a harsh tone when he’d spoken to you. Despite how he treats others, Katsuki is hardly ever outright mean to you; He’s never even given you a derogatory nickname like he has for everyone else. Today’s an off day though…He’s just not used to running on little to no sleep. That paired with his already non existent level of patience makes for a blow up. Especially when YOU were the cause of his latest bout of insomnia….turning to look at you has his thoughts beginning to wander.
Those lips of yours flapping away as you berate him…
They sure would look a helluva lot better wrapped around his-
“-Not even fucking listening to me are you?!” You snarl, starting towards the door again. “I cant believe I woke up this morning wanting to hangout with YOU, guess I’ll change my plans and hangout with someone not so shitty to me…. Like Deku!” A loud crash comes from behind you. The now enraged man had stood up so abruptly, it sent his now vacated chair careening into the wall and toppling over.
“You really just cant help yourself can you?”
His voice is so eerily quiet as he turns to face you, something unidentifiable flashes in his rapidly darkening crimson orbs. You couldn’t exactly identify it, considering it disappeared as abruptly as it had originally came.
“Course you cant, I already know that”
A menacing smile appears on his face as he takes his first step toward you, immediately triggering your natural “Fight or flight” response.
“I know what you need”
He’s only an arms length away when you start to step back.
“You dont know shit”
You somehow summon the courage to speak, but are unable to summon any false bravado to keep you from betraying how unnerved he’s got you feeling as he takes another step.
“I know that your best friend cant stand what a spoiled fuckin’ brat you’ve become, I know she’s so fed up with your shit that she’s about to write you off completely”
The defiant expression you’d worn all this time finally starts to falter.
This marks the first time Katsuki has ever seen how you look when your confidence begins to ebb away, only to be replaced with a mixture of uncertainty and fear.
His sadistic side emerges with glee as your now saddened doe eyes meet his.
“You’re constantly disregarding everyone’s opinion of you unless it aligns with your own, but you dont even know what to think of yourself now that your faced with the possibility of being alone now…do you?
You remain silent, taking yet another step back as he continues speaking.
“You need someone who isn’t afraid to correct you, but they’ll have to of earned your respect….So when you inevitably step out of line, you wont put up a fight when you get put over their knee”
Your back hits the wall.
You swallow down the panic that slowly begun to rise from your chest up into your throat as you realize there is nowhere left for you to go.
“You desperately want to be a good girl, just dont know how to be one, huh princess?”
It’s so adorable the way your bottom lip juts out, but at the first quiver it quickly gets sucked between your teeth.
“That’s why you’re acting out right now isn’t it?
I bet you drench your cute little panties every time you get a rise out of me. Always hoping that its going to be the time I yank you the fuck up and put this brat in her goddamn place, hah?”
You shamelessly lean into the large hand thats now cupping your cheek, letting out a sigh as his thumb caresses your soft skin.
“Mhmmm”
It’s horrifying how easily you just admitted your most guarded secret! The triumphant smirk he sports makes it even harder to accept.
His tone is surprisingly gentle when he starts addressing you once again;
“I can do that for you baby….Let me be the one that finally brings the princess down on her knees”.
Your eyes are practically sparkling at the feel of a sudden pressure being applied to your throat. His calloused fingers squeezing the delicate skin of your neck, effectively making it harder and harder for you to breathe. The thrill of this foreign feeling is instantly addicting.
“Tell me if thats what you want: If its not then shake your head and we never speak of this again”
Bakugo has to at least give the illusion that you have a choice in the matter. Even though its more than obvious that you need want this just as much as he does.
“I want it, I want you” your words come out in a breathy whisper as he releases his hold on your throat.
“I wanna hear you say it princess, what do you want me to do with you”
“I want…no I NEED you to….t-to make me into your good girl please…”
He gestures for you to continue, his raised brow implying you must be forgetting something.
“Please make me into your good girl….Daddy”
The pleading expression and twinge of desperation in your voice stirs something deep inside Bakugo. It was something akin to the last vestiges of some ancient seal had disappeared: The monster that it had rendered dormant had finally roused from its slumber, intent on wreaking havoc.
“You do understand that you’re mine now right ________? Every part of your being belongs solely to me”
Gorgeous ruby eyes scrutinize your face carefully, searching for a single trace of fear, uncertainty, or possible apprehension. All they found was admiration and girlish excitement, and this earned you a genuine smile from the almost always scowling young man.
“Yes, every part of me belongs to you now Katsuki”
“Better get used to this then”
Before you could inquire what he was referring to, he was kissing you.
❤️‍🔥
A/N: So concludes chapter one
Oh god I hope this is well received.
Should I get a tag list together? Is it too soon? If anyone would be interested leave a comment. SMUT in the next chapter, we’re moving faster here because let’s be honest; Smut is what all of us want! 💦
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lumosinlove · 3 years
Text
Vaincre
part iv
~
October
We fell in love in October
That's why, I love fall
Looking at the stars
Admiring from afar
~
Hey everyone, welcome to Puck Drop Podcast. Today’s hot topic—well, it’s still the Lions. Here’s what I think. That Black Lupin two-tap was fantastic. Right, Mike?
It was, it was.
But here’s the thing—I think that’s going to make a lot of people okay with Lupin being, well, let’s be real, I might call it fast tracked to the NHL.
Fast tracked, Henry? I don’t know, the kid had all the qualifications.
Fine, fine, but I do gotta say…if Lupin doesn’t play well…what’s gonna happen then? With Coach Weasley, with Black, with the organization. I just think we’re on a slippery slope here—
~
“Jesus Christ, Pots,” Finn shouted. “Take my fucking eye out, why don’t you!”
James looked uneasily at the golf club in his hands. “Sorry. Wow, sorry.”
Logan just clicked his tongue. “I thought we were allowed to play golf because it isn’t dangerous.”
“That is why,” Finn said, and pointed at James. “Until this untamed, grass-bouncing, metal-swinging—”
“All right, all right,” Sirius chuckled.
“We’re drawing eyes, boys,” Remus said from his golf cart. He had his feet up on the seat and an iced tea in his hands.
Logan glanced at the party ahead of them. “Harzy, am I gonna have to buy some lady a cheeseburger from the clubhouse again?”
Finn just held up his hands in surrender.
“You know,” Leo said once Logan joined him in the cart they were sharing.
“Ouais, mon soleil?”
Leo smiled, eyes crinkling behind his sunglasses, then tapped his palm. “Didn’t think I’d ever find a golf glove attractive, and yet there Harzy stands.”
“Plaid pants and all,” Logan nodded.
“Those’re checkered, baby.”
Logan looked again. “Oh.” He shrugged. “Want to ditch and get a cheeseburger?”
Leo laughed. “Why did we come if we don’t play?”
Logan smiled, flipping his hat backwards and starting the engine. “To watch Harzy and Cap get competitive and James lose.”
Leo shook his head, then leaned back in his seat. “Loops, clubhouse, burgers.”
“Oh, thank God,” Remus said. “Bye, Black.”
Sirius raised his club. “Don’t you want to watch me win?”
“I am convinced this game can’t be won,” Remus said, and followed Logan and Leo’s cart in his own.
“The real win,” Remus said, squirting mustard onto his burger. “Would have been not getting up at seven in the morning to trip over sprinklers.”
“Preach,” Leo nodded. “Hey, what are you and Cap thinking for Halloween?”
Remus chewed thoughtfully. “Haven’t really started thinking yet. You?”
Logan snorted, stealing the mustard. “Knutty’s obsessed.”
“What?” Leo said. “I was a lonely rookie last year! Now I’m a…” he glanced around. “Non-rookie.”
Logan’s heart pulled at the correction. He nudged his knee against Leo’s beneath the table and felt Leo nudge back. Remus seemed to catch the brief silence.
“Watch Sirius make me dress up as the Stanley Cup,” he said.
Logan laughed. “Non, you’ve never won it, you can’t touch it. He’ll be the Cup, you’ll be him.”
Remus wrinkled his nose. “That’s disgusting.”
“I’m with Lo. He’s too superstitious,” Leo said. “No way.”
Remus gestured between them. “Three Musketeers?”
“Finn and Leo with a sword,” Logan said skeptically.
“What?” Leo smirked, resting a chin on his palm. “You don’t trust me with a sword?”
Logan snorted, pushing his palm into Leo’s cheek.
The doors to the club house restaurant sprung open.
“Victory is mine!” Finn shouted, and actually spun on his heel in a complete circle. “Victory is mine.”
Sirius slouched dejectedly into their booth beside Remus.
“Sorry, baby,” Remus laughed.
“Apparently he drinks from the keg of glory,” James sighed.
“It’s a quote,” Leo laughed.
“Muffins,” Finn grinned. “Bagels. Actually, burgers will do.”
Logan watched as Finn reached over and grabbed a fry from Leo’s plate and a bite of Logan’s burger. It was something they had started doing a lot—a public closeness they could always get away with. Finn unstrapped his golf glove slowly and close to Sirius’ face, who slapped it away.
“You’re not going to dress up as the Stanley Cup, are you?” Remus asked, turning his plate so his fries were in Sirius’ reach.
Sirius took his hat off to push his hair back before replacing it again and grabbing a fry. “Quoi?”
Remus looked at Leo and shrugged.
“Harz, do you trust me with a sword?” Leo asked Finn.
Finn smiled, dropping his voice low and flashing that crooked smile Logan had always fallen for. “You know I do.”
Logan just sent his eyes towards the sky, but his chest warmed at the smitten look Leo got, too, and he hailed a waiter for more food.
“Damn,” Finn said as their front door shut behind them. “Who said it was a good idea to go golfing in October? What do you say I mix us up some nice whiskey-warming manhattans?” He tossed his keys down and wrapped Logan up, arms around his waist and pressed a quick and hard kiss to his mouth. “Extra cherries for you, mon cherry.”
“Chéri,” Logan corrected, but he smiled into Finn’s next kiss, which was much gentler.
“Please,” Leo said, flopping down onto the couch. “That was the longest day of my life.”
“I can make it up to you with the longest night of your life,” Finn said, resting a cheek on Logan’s head. “Or we can.”
Leo smiled and stretched a little sleepily, pointing his toes. “I’ll take my whiskey first.”
Finn snorted and tweaked Leo’s socked feet. “You got it.”
Logan slid into a seat at their countertop. “Remember those ones at that bar you found in, where, were we visiting my family in Canada?”
Finn, reaching into the bar cupboard he kept meticulously organized, let out a whiskey. “I’d give that bartender anything she wants for that recipe.”
Logan sent Leo raised eyebrows, who snorted and looked back.
“Oh, would you now, O’Hara?” Leo laughed.
Finn looked up from scooping ice from the freezer. “Almost anything. Although, she was beautiful. Reminded me of this girl I dated for a second in college. Remember Hannah, Lo?”
“Oh, I remember Hannah,” Logan grumbled, and Finn kissed his fingers before reaching cross the counter to press them to Logan’s forehead. Logan just smiled—and he could smile about it now, sometimes—and patted the stool beside him with a look at Leo.
Leo pulled himself up with big eyes. “My crush wants me to sit next to him.”
Logan took out his phone with a playful glare. “You’re both sarcastic today.”
“It’s the golf,” Leo said dryly and slid into the seat next to Logan. “And you’re sweet.”
“I just like it when we all sit together,” Logan shrugged.
Leo laughed, hooking his feet around the legs of Logan’s stool to pull him closer. “How is someone so lovingly grumpy?”
“Please,” Finn said, stirring their drink. “Look at him. He uses it to get affection.”
Logan just smiled and reached for one of the crackers Finn put out before holding it up to pop into Leo’s mouth.
Finn sighed as he poured their drinks. “All right, I know golf’s not your thing. Thanks for coming with me, though.”
“Believe me,” Leo said. “It was worth it, you cocky golf glove.”
Finn snorted.
“Plaid,” Logan nodded.
“Checkered,” Leo amended.
“Ouais. Same thing.”
“No,” Finn said, looking up from their drinks, and Logan grinned, wrapping his arms around Leo’s waist.
“Non?” he asked.
Finn just slid their glasses towards them. “You’re fucking with me, Tremblay. Now, cheers to…”
Leo raised his glass, the other hand playing with the hem of Logan’s shirt. “Ring ceremony in a few days.”
Logan eyed the syrupy cherries at the bottom of his drink. Finn had given him two. He took a sip and let the thick sugar settle over his tongue.
“Can we display ours?” Finn asked, leaning his elbows on the counter. “All three in a row. I like that.”
Leo winced. “So many diamonds.”
“Why are you flinching at that?” Logan laughed.
“I don’t know, it feels flashy?” Leo took another sip.
Logan just pressed his nose against Leo’s jaw. “We deserve it.”
Leo smiled and turned into it, accepting a soft kiss.
“Jesus, Harz, how much syrup did you put in his drink?” Leo said, but gave Logan another quick peck.
“Probably not enough,” Finn laughed, and came around the counter. “I need to sit, my golf muscles hurt.”
“Right, those big things,” Leo said.
Finn just gave his own butt a tap and fell into their oversized couch. Even with all the space, they all still ended up pushed up against each other in one corner. Logan loved that more than he’d ever said out loud.
“Sweatshirt,” he said, and dropped another kiss to Leo’s cheek, took another sip of his drink and padded out of the room. He let his belt clink to the floor along with his pants and yanked his polo shirt over his head. His necklace got caught briefly in one of the buttons. He turned when two hands pressed to his hips from behind.
Leo pressed a kiss to his shoulder, then the top notch of his spine. “Want one of mine?”
Logan leaned back against him. “Ouais, thanks.”
But Leo didn’t move right away, just wrapped Logan up tighter. He pressed his nose into Logan’s neck and inhaled. Logan reached back and up, scratching at the hair that curled against Leo’s neck.
“Can I ask something?” Leo said, words muffled by his skin.
Logan stayed where Leo obviously wanted him, fingers kneading the back of his neck gently.
“Do you think coach is gonna start me?”
“In the opener?” Logan asked, and Leo hummed.
“Kasey thinks so,” he said. “Because it’s Bruins and I play okay against them.”
“You kill against them,” Logan said, and Leo finally pulled back with a last squeeze to Logan’s hip. He was quiet as he found the sweatshirt he knew Logan liked, and tossed it to him.
“Leo,” Logan prompted after he’d pulled it over his head.
“I know, I know,” Leo said, and smiled, rubbing a hand over his face. “God, I love the way you say my name.”
“And you call me the subject changer,” Logan raised an eyebrow.
“I just don’t think he will,” Leo said, crossing his arms as they walked back out to the living room. “I mean, I wish. I hope.”
Finn was sprawled out across the couch. He’d brought Leo and Logan’s glasses over and Logan took another sip of the warm whiskey before curling against one of Finn’s sides, Leo stretching his legs into Finn’s lap.
“What’s happening?” Finn asked, thumb rubbing against Leo’s ankle, knowing they got sore.
“Just thinking about the season,” Leo said. “Kasey said he thinks I’ll start. I can’t imagine why.”
Finn frowned. “Well, if Kasey was gonna be gone, he’d be gone. With the thigh, with the crazy off-season. I mean, the League’s shifting around there’s no doubt about that. I think it’s calming down now, though.”
Logan curled closer to Finn, reaching out for Leo’s foot, too, tracing the shape of the nike logo across the top of his sock.
“And Kase’s the starter,” Finn said. “That’s what the organization knows, that’s what the city knows. I…I say this with all the love for your skill, baby, but I’d be surprised if it isn’t Kasey.”
Leo nodded. “No, don’t worry, that’s what I think, too. I just…”
He trailed off and Logan gave his ankle a tug, making him sit up.
“Go ahead,” he said.
“Is this about bench time?” Finn asked.
Leo groaned. “I feel like such a fucking whiner saying it.”
“You can say literally anything to us,” Logan said, then smiled. “Leo.”
Leo just flopped his cheek against Finn’s chest.
“Maybe you’ll feel a little better once we get our rings,” Finn laughed, fingers running through Leo’s hair. “I know I will. I feel like…” Finn hesitated. “I don’t know. Every time I think about our ring, and our Cup days…I feel like I’ll never play the same again.”
Logan made an affirmative sound. “Yeah.”
“Really?” Leo mumbled.
“Nervous,” Logan nodded. “It all feels different. I thought it was Loops for a bit, but…Harzy, you’re right, I think it’s the Cup. I feel…I want it all over again, but it feels impossible.”
“I also…” Finn hesitated, stroking his hands through Leo’s hair a few more times, watching the blond curls slip through his fingers. “I loved our summer so much. I feel sort of guilty but…I miss it.”
Leo let out a soft laugh. “Thank God, me, too.”
“We get more of those,” Logan said, and it felt a little defensive.
“I feel selfish,” Finn said thoughtfully. “I have everything I want, and I want it again.”
“That’s not selfish,” Leo replied. “I think…I think that’s just human.”
Logan thought of the picture in Finn’s pocket and Harvard parties. He thought of long nights on the road, laughing with Leo over their sundaes. Logan had both wanted that over and over, but it had felt a little like poking himself with the tip of a knife over and over, too. He closed his eyes and let himself listen to them talk. Finn was agreeing, and then Leo was laughing. They ordered dinner for delivery, the Greek place down the street, and then sat in each other’s silence. Logan could tell Leo was still thinking about the season, watching the city lights out the window with Logan’s head in his lap. Logan stared up at him, at his blue eyes, dark in the dim light. His jaw would twitch every once in a while, a muscle clenched. Finn had a book open, slouched at the other end of the sofa.
Leo probably wouldn’t sleep well tonight, but sometimes Logan looked forward to their time in the dark together. Ankles tangled, eyes closed but knowing the other one was awake. They’d talk sleepily about the next day, until Logan decided enough was enough and he’d pull Leo against his chest, tucking the taller blond’s head beneath his chin for once.
Leo would hum contently. “What did I do before you, hm?”
Logan would smile. He used to listen to Leo toss and turn from one bed over, and now there was this. He loved that like air, too.
~
“Hey, rookie! Hold the door?”
Cole turned to see Thomas and his crutches, which seemed familiar now from him always sitting on the bench during practice. He was flanked by two people who could only be his parents.
His mother hit him lightly on the shoulder, laughing. “He’s got a name, Tom.”
“Hey, man, of course,” Cole said and looked down at Katie, who was holding his hand. “Gotta switch hands, okay?”
“No, I can do it,” Katie said, and flattened her back against the door. “Does it hurt all the time, Talkie?”
Thomas smiled down at her. “No, not all the time.” Thomas looked up and sent Cole one of his bright smiles. “Thanks. Sick tat, by the way. I don’t think I’ve said, but I’ve thought it.”
Cole’s hand instinctively went to his collarbone as he let the door to Olivander’s Hotel swing shut behind them. “Thanks. It’s my number.” He huffed out a laugh. “I mean, obviously.”
“I’ve been thinking about getting one,” Thomas said, and wedged a crutch under his arm and tapped the center of his chest. “Not sure where, but I like the chest as a place to start.”
Cole smiled, nodding. “I—me too. Yeah, maybe we could…like, go together, or something. I was reading some stuff about the best places, and also Nado was telling me. Well, trying to tell me.”
Thomas laughed. “Kuny kept interrupting?”
Cole laughed, too, nodding. “In Russian, though.”
“That sounds like Kuns,” Thomas said. “And yeah, man, I’d love to. Do you have any ideas?”
Cole shrugged as he and Thomas showed their IDs, the Dumais’ and Walkers chatting behind them. “Hopefully something about Lord Stanley one day, but right now…maybe something for my mom.”
Thomas nodded. “She coming today?”
Cole nodded, not able to help his smile, turning his phone over in his pocket. “Her flight was delayed but she shouldn’t miss anything.”
They walked through the lobby, joining much of the team that was already there. The large round tables reminded Cole of a wedding, and the stage was set with a podium for speeches with the numerous ring boxes behind.
“Cole!” came a familiar voice, and Cole spun around to find his mother walking through the double-doors, as if talking about her had made her appear. He wished he had that power. Blake Reyes was in her usual bright colors, her dark hair slicked up into a bun that let her tight curls spill over her forehead like bouncing bangs.
“Be right back,” Cole said, and Thomas nodded, tapping his shin with his crutch.
“Mom,” Cole grinned, and wrapped her up tight. He’d been taller than her for years, but it still felt strange. The soft curves of her were familiar, though. “You made it. Okay flight?”
“Yeah, yeah, read my book,” she said, and pulled back to look around. “This place is nice. How are you, baby?”
“Olivander’s Hotel,” Cole said. “Apparently different places were fighting to have the ring ceremony. I’m fine.” He shrugged. “Feels kind of weird being here.”
“Maybe you’ll be getting one of those rings next year, hm?” she smiled.
“Maybe,” Cole laughed, and then, more timidly, asked, “Dad?”
Blake’s expression tightened, eyes sad. “No, sweetheart. I…I’m sorry. He’s…”
“You don’t have to explain,” Cole gave a short shake of his head. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not,” she sighed. “But it’s…”
“Come on,” Cole said. “I’ll introduce you to Dumo and Celeste.”
His mother grinned. “Oh, my shy boy is growing up.”
“Shh,” Cole laughed. “Don’t say that to Sirius Black.”
“Say what to Sirius Black?”
Sirius strode beside him, hand in hand with Remus. It was Remus who had spoken, and grinned now, and Cole flushed at the good-natured chirp. Sirius just offered a shy hand to his mother.
Cole had a wave of surreality wash over him for what felt like the thousandth time as he watched his mother say call me Blake to Sirius Black, who he’d had on his wall for God’s sake.
It happened all anew once they were ushered into the ballroom for the presentation of the Stanley Cup champion rings. The team and management had been called up one by one, but they opened their boxes together. Cole wouldn’t get one, but he leaned over to see Finn’s, whose mother seemed to love his own, their heads bent close together, giggling. The ring was square in shape, too big to be worn on any practical day, and covered in small diamonds, some stones colored red and black to make the Lion. The golden band was engraved with name, number, year, and, of course, champion. The word took the air out of the room.
Finn blew out a shaky, awed breath, and Cole watched him look up, something like tears in his eyes. When he followed his gaze, Cole found him looking at Logan. It made sense, and made Cole even happier for the team. Finn and Logan had probably been dreaming of this since their college days together. Cole looked back at Finn to ask him about it, when Finn mouthed something that, to Cole, looked very much like the words love you.
Cole blinked, but Finn was leaning his chair back on two legs, then, whistling two notes that got Leo’s attention. Leo, who was crying—an act that made him look even more like his dad, sitting beside him and crying, too—let out a wet laugh and wiggled his fingers at Finn which he had put the heavy ring on.
“One day, huh, Cole?”
Cole looked at Mr. O’Hara, who was smiling kindly at him.
“Oh, yes,” his mother answered for him. “One day.”
One day. Cole wanted to believe it.
~
Well, folks, here we are. We here in the studio welcome you to The Lions pre-game show. Dean, opening thoughts?
Well, we’re up against the Bruins, who had a phenomenal season last year. And, of course, we’ll see some fun rivalries tonight. Marchand has never been a Gryffindor favorite.
Is he anyone’s?
Ha, all right, there, Lee, all right. The real point is we’ll have a full stadium, and this game is ready to set the tone for the season. I’m ready, Lee, are you?
Oh, you bet.
Sirius found Remus sitting with Layla, legs swinging slightly from his perch on the PT bench. Worry tweaked through him at first, until he realized that they were laughing together.
Sirius knocked lightly on the door. “Hi.” 
Layla looked up, still mid-laugh. “Oh, hey, Cap, come on in.”
“Just wondering where you went,” Sirius said, leaning beside Remus.
Remus shrugged, looking around the room. “I don’t know, this is where I spent every other pre-game. Felt right, I guess. I was coming back soon.” He knocked their shoulders together playfully. “You left your stretches to come find me?”
Layla made a cooing noise as she opened the door. “Gotta get this to Kasey, be right back.”
Remus’ expression morphed into one of concern. “Is it the—”
Layla put up a hand to stop him. She pointed to herself. “PT,” then to Remus. “Winger.”
Remus looked sheepish. “Right. Sorry.”
Sirius sent her a smile, but looked back to Remus. Remus pulled him in closer, allowing Sirius to be boxed in by his thighs.
“It’s a big night,” Sirius said, and pressed a light kiss to his mouth. “A good night. I wanted to be by your side.”
“Bruins,” Remus whistled lowly. “Let’s take ‘em.”
Sirius laughed, squeezing his hips. “I thought you were going say you’re worried.”
“What, about an original six team?” Remus laughed. “We’re the Lions.”
“Coach might put us out there together again,” Sirius said. “After pre-season.”
Remus ran his hands through Sirius’ hair. “My mind-reader.”
Sirius smiled, leaning forward to nip gently at Remus’ lower lip. “What am I thinking now?”
“That this is not your office, lovebirds,” Lars’ voice came. Sirius turned to look, only to see that he wore his usual strangely soft-stony expression. “I believe that’d be the front of the net for you, Black.”
Remus laughed, sliding from the table. “Sorry, man, we’ll get out of your way.”
Lars just looked down at a chart he held. “Black, stay a minute?”
Sirius paused, glancing down at Remus. “Uh, sure.”
Remus sent him a quick smile and slipped out the door.
“What’s up?” Sirius asked, crossing his arms.
Lars folded the pages of the clipboard back and set it on the counter. “I was trying to get you earlier, but it says there that you utilize the sports psychologist.”
Sirius nodded. “Yeah. Heather’s been a big help to me.”
Lars nodded. “I’m not here to violate any confidentiality, I just need to know if you’re still with her regularly. This chart stops a few months before Lupin left. Is that correct?”
Sirius tilted his head. “Why do you…”
“If something happens, I like to know who is familiar with her and who is not, that way I can know who I can help and in what way. Mental health is just as important as physical health.”
That made Sirius relax a little. “Not as regularly, no.”
“Great, thank you,” Lars nodded.
Sirius offered a slight smile as he slipped out the door. Lars was direct and to the point in a way that often came with a new job. It reminded Sirius of Remus’ first days with the organization, trying to be as professional as possible. It was true, he hadn’t seen Heather over the summer at all, nor too much once their Cup run had begun. He smiled a little when he realized that he missed her.
Remus was strapping his pads over his bare chest when Sirius entered the locker room. He raised an eyebrow, and Sirius flashed him a thumbs up. James was talking to Thomas as he laced up his skates, Thomas gesturing with his crutches.
Sirius, finished with his routines with his eyes passing around the room. He found himself nervous in a way he hadn’t been for a few years now. The season after a Cup win was always strange for any team. He felt the old sting of you did it once, do it again. They way he used to feel about goals—about any good thing. That it only mattered if he could repeat.
He blinked against the onslaught, it brought heat to his cheeks.
You did it once, do it again.
“Hey,” James’ voice cut through, his hand on Sirius’ shoulder.
Sirius looked over at him, panic beginning to tickle his throat. He took a slow breath through it. “Quoi?”
James dangled his phone by two fingers like an enticing treat. “Want to see Harry pictures?”
Sirius’ mouth lifted. He scooted over a little in his stall, leaning in. He put his hand over James’ and squeezed. “Yeah. Ouais, please, I do.”
They made it through four before James looked over at him, contents replacing his glasses for the game.
“You’re good,” James said. “We’re all here.”
Sirius could only smile back.
~
Remus pushed away the nerves and let the crowd wash over him as, side by side with Cole, they took their first laps around Hogwarts stadium. It was their home opener.
Remus had only dreamed of this.
“Pretty perfect,” Cole shouted over the noise, and they grinned at each other before each shooting a puck into the empty net.
Before the game could begin, they would hoist the banner for their Cup win into the rafters to accompany the two others, won in 1941 and 1970. Hogwarts dimmed its lights, Remus stood between Sirius and Pascal, keeping his muscles warm, and a video began to play on the big screen.
“You know,” Pascal’s voice filled the stadium, much to the delight of the fans. His kind face appeared on the screen in an interview chair, the Lions’ logo out of focus in the background. He shrugged a broad shoulder and scratched a hand idly through they graying scruff on his cheek. “I wait for this all my life, and then I want more,” He let out a short laugh. “I’m the old guy, non? I love to succeed with my friends, my family.”
Logan was next, green eyes shy and watchful. Looking at him, you’d never guess at the fire beneath.
“It’s…” he began, and shifted in the way he did in front of the cameras. “It means more because of our team. We were lucky that it’s mostly the same guys this year.” A smile, a glimpse of fire. “Let’s do it again.”
The stadium roared and continued to do as Sirius appeared next. They’d filmed it a few days after all of the celebrations had ended, hoping to catch everyone before they left for vacation.
“It was everything to be asked to wear the C,” Sirius said. “And this team…I’ve changed a lot with them. Each and every one of them deserves this more than anything.”
“Proud Captain!” Finn’s voice could be heard off-camera, and then Remus heard his own laugh. He hadn’t even known he was going to be a Lion at this point.
Sirius shrugged. “Ouais? Yes, yes, of course.”
James, glasses winking in the camera’s lights, talked about his family, and then the banner was being raised to the cheers of the stadium, fans pounding on the glass. Remus spared one glance to the Bruins, who had to sit silently on their bench through it all, but just smiled.
He wanted a Cup. He wanted it on the ice this time.
The national anthem played, and Remus felt Sirius’ presence close to his back, even while he watched Finn drape his usual hand over Logan’s shoulder.
“Mon Loup,” Sirius whispered.
Remus turned his head slightly.
“Love you.”
Remus smiled. The words were just breath, most likely Sirius wanting the moment to be private, to avoid the camera reading his lips. Remus turned fully around as the lights came up, just before Sirius was due to jump the boards for a face off.
“Love you,” he said, and Sirius grinned.
Bergeron won the first and carried it easily up towards Kasey, only for Olli to intercept his pass. Sirius caught it on his stick, shot it to James—
Coach called his number, along with Jackson’s and Evgeni’s.
Remus hopped the boards and the whistle blew.
“Too many men!” the ref shouted with his crossed arms.
Remus blinked, coming to a stop. He looked back towards the bench, where he was being motioned back.
“Eh, confused there, Lupin?” Marchand called, which got him a hard shove in the back from Evgeni.
“You confused,” Evgeni said in his deep voice, and the whistle blew to re-set.
Remus tried not to blush as he skated to line up for the face-off, but he was surprised. He’d looked, hadn’t he? He hadn’t misheard? It was a bad change, that was all.
Evgeni won it, but Remus flubbed his pass and Pastrnak scooped it up the ice and scored an early goal in Kasey’s glove.
Remus closed his eyes briefly, then flashed them open, hoping the camera hadn’t caught it. Hockey was fast.
Remus took a slow breath as Coach called him off the ice as quickly as he had been put on. As he slid onto the bench he felt Arthur give him a hard, encouraging thump on the back. That still wasn’t how he wanted to open his season, his career as a Lion.
“Loops.”
Remus looked up and accepted the helmet bump from Finn.
“I’m good,” Remus said. “Little startled, I guess. I’m fine.”
But he played three more shifts in the first.
The locker room was normal, buzzed off of the adrenaline, and Remus sat down in his stall, trying to ignore the way James and Sirius were dripping with sweat and he wasn’t. He sent Sirius a smile but otherwise kept his head down, not really wanting to talk. He remembered this from college. Everyone called him levelheaded, but he was as bad as Sirius was when it came to emotions on the ice—even if he hoped he hid it well.
“Yo.”
Thomas eased himself down into his stall beside Remus with a grunt, and propped his crutches beside him.
“Hey,” Remus said, then, unable to help himself—it was Thomas, after all—asked, “Did it all look as bad from the box?”
“Re, it’s your first shift of your first NHL game,” Thomas said, slinging an arm around Remus’ shoulders. “The big lights get everyone. Even Remus Lupin.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Remus said, running a towel over his face. “I don’t know.”
And he didn’t. He glanced towards Sirius, but he wasn’t looking at him, determinedly re-tying his skates and still talking to James. Remus didn’t want to say he’d expected some comfort, but he didn’t much like the the silence, either.
Thomas clapped him on the back. “Worry just makes it worse, yeah?”
Remus nodded. “Yeah, my specialty.” He smiled. “I’ll be fine. It’s just one game. Thanks, T.”
Remus rose as they were called back out onto the ice, pushing his helmet back on and lingering a bit to take his place just in front of Sirius. He watched as Sirius hyped his team up, cracking jokes and tapping sticks. The perfect captain. Remus reached him with a strange feeling. It wasn’t until Sirius’ eyes found his that he realized he felt like he’d let Sirius down. He blinked, startled, heart beating quicker with the added nerves of not wanting to feel that way.
Sirius just smiled, softer, his smile saved only for Remus, and pressed their foreheads together.
“Love you,” Sirius whispered.
“I’m sorry,” Remus blurted, and that hadn’t been what he meant to say.
Sirius’ expression immediately morphed into one of concern. “Re, non…” he glanced at the staff lingering about.
Remus didn’t want to talk about it here, not where people could hear.
“Love you,” he said, and ducked through the tunnel.
~
Remus was ready for October to be over. He tried to breathe through it—this happened sometimes, slumps were part of hockey—but the timing couldn’t have been worse.
Marlene tried to keep him away from the worst of the press, and Remus tried not to look, but she couldn’t stop what reporters he did do media with from asking the hard questions. How did he feel about his performance? Or, the even worse occasional one—how did he think Sirius felt about it?
If someone asked Sirius that, he went back to his unreadable, stony expression and gave them nothing. Remus only wished he had such a poker face.
“Re,” Sirius called from the bedroom. “Almost ready?”
Remus took a breath and tried to push thoughts of hockey away, laughing a little at himself in the mirror.
“If you are.”
“Really really not ready,” Sirius laughed and entered their closet. He let out a groan. “I knew I was going to find this hot.”
“I am not,” Remus said. “Jeez, it’s ridiculous.” He turned this way and that, looking at his swede, fringed pants, cowboy boots, and wide brimmed hat. “The vest, too. Now you on the other hand…”
Sirius sent Remus a sheepish smile and looked down at his Captain America costume. “I was going for irony.”
“Nothing ironic about Canada’s ass.”
Sirius rolled his eyes, but he was blushing as the doorbell rang downstairs.
Remus turned away from his reflection and looped his arms around Sirius’ neck for a hard kiss. “Show time, Captain.”
~
“Oh my god,” Remus heard Finn say over the kids’ halloween movie and the chatter from the kitchen as he swung the front door wide to his and Sirius’ house. “Oh my god, what is it with the PTs and the ref outfits? Remus, come look.”
Remus arrived in the entrance hall to Layla narrowing her eyes playfully—indeed dressed in an oversized referee shirt and cute, flared black jeans.
“We don’t get all the days off you guys do. Maybe its a lack of free time. Not to mention—” she rubbed her fingers together.
Finn laughed. “All right, point taken.”
“Come on in, Layla,” Remus said. “Ignore him.”
“Okay, cowboy,” Layla said, looking Remus up and down. “Damn.”
“Nothing for me?” Finn said, and spun in a slow, cocky circle, the black and yellow stripes of his costume, and his antennae bouncing.
Layla snorted, shaking her head. “What the hell are you?”
Finn looked offended. “I’m a bumble-bee. And Leo's the beekeeper, and Lo’s honey. Can’t miss him, he’s got a big, round foam honey jar on.”
“Ah,” Layla laughed. “Of course.”
“Come on,” Remus said. “I’ll get you a drink.”
Layla whistled as she followed him into the kitchen. “This house is huge.”
“Sirius bought it without a clue of what he wanted,” Remus said. “I’ve been trying to warm it up a bit.”
“It’s working,” Layla said, looking at the pictures that lined the walls. She pointed to the one of Sirius kissing Remus with the Cup. “God, I love this.”
Remus smiled, the memory flooding him with warmth. “Me, too.”
“Ooh,” Natalie, leaning back against Kasey’s chest, raised her glass to Remus. “Ride ‘em, cowboy.”
Remus fixed her with a wry look. “Are you going to say that every time I walk into a room?”
Natalie, sparkling in her finger-curls and 1920’s flapper dress, flashed a smile. “Yes.”
“She starts talking in an old Hollywood voice every time she sees me, so,” Kasey, looking broad in his old-fashioned suit, shrugged. “She’s not lying.”
Layla laughed. “I mean, I would, too, if I was dressed like that.”
Natalie grinned and walked over to loop her arm with Layla’s. “Let’s go see what movie the kids are watching now.”
“Yes,” Layla gasped. “Booze and Holloweentown.”
Remus watched the way Kasey looked after Natalie fondly as the girls disappeared.
“All good?” Remus asked, popping himself another beer.
“Hm?” Kasey looked up. “Oh, yeah. Just…looking. She’s leaving soon, for a couple weeks, to go see Alex.”
“That’s sweet. I’m sure he misses her.” Kasey came to lean against the counter beside him with a long sigh. “Sometimes it feels like all we do is miss each other.” He paused, biting his lip. “Do you…do you ever feel like you have everything you’ve ever wanted, but that you’d still change something? Like…like there are multiple versions of your life that include certain things and not others…but you’d still have everything you’d ever want?”
Remus’ smiled a little. “I…I think I’ve lived that. I lost hockey for a bit…but I got Sirius.”
Kasey smiled. “Oh, yeah.”
“Feel lucky you feel that way,” Remus said. “I’m not sure its as common as we think.”
“Speaking of,” Kasey said. “Where’s your everything-you’ve-ever-wanted?”
Remus laughed loudly. “Uh, hmm.” He looked around, not actually sure of the last time he saw Sirius. “I don’t know. You’d think I’d remember the last time I saw those spandex.”
Kasey laughed too. “I’d think so.”
Remus pushed up. “I’ll find him.”
“Let him know dinner’s soon!” Sergei called from the back door. It let cool air in from where he was checking on the ribs, Celeste beside him with a martini, seemingly inspecting his BBQ sauce.
Remus watched Sergei wave her off, claiming it was secret, before turning up the stairs. He thought for a moment before turning towards their bedroom and smiled to himself when he saw the door was clicked open.
“I thought I might find you up here,” Remus said, setting his cup down. He looked around the small room. The shelves were empty of stray photographs now. Remus had hung them up all around the house as a surprise, and Sirius had come home one day to a hallway, living room, and kitchen full of them.
Sirius looked up from where he was sitting on the bed—just where he’d been sitting that night, one year ago. He’d left his shield somewhere—no doubt with Adele—and was turning a beer slowly between his palms.
“Just thinking,” Sirius said, then motioned down at the bed. “Sit with me?”
Remus settled close to him, and Sirius turned to press a gentle kiss to his temple. “How’s the party?”
“Good,” Remus nodded. “Kids are watching a movie. Apparently Nat’s going to visit Alex. God, that’d be hard.”
Sirius hummed in agreement.
“Oh,” Remus laughed, remembering. “Layla showed up dressed as a ref.”
“No,” Sirius grinned. “God. I feel like I opened the door for you yesterday.”
“Mm. Sexy fireman.”
“Oh?” Sirius said, then took Remus’ drink from him and set them down on the floor.
“What?” Remus asked, only for Sirius to flop back on the bed, pulling Remus with him.
“My hat,” Remus said half-heartedly, watching it tumble off the side of the bed.
Sirius just made a noncommittal sound and turned on his side, pressing up on an elbow to lean over Remus. Remus reached up to twirl a strand of his dark hair around his finger. He’d left it loose, curling at his chin.
“Captain Québécois,” Remus said and Sirius just rested a hand against his chest.
“A lot has happened in a year,” he whispered, the room dim around them and the laughter filtering up from downstairs. “Do you ever feel like we’ve known each other forever?”
Sirius had said that before, but Remus loved it just the same.
“I feel like I’ve known you forever, and I’d take one more forever, too,” Remus said.
Sirius leaned down for a quick kiss. “Me too.”
Remus reached into the tight material of Sirius’ costume for his 12 pendant, studying it in the dim light. He’d almost kissed Sirius right in this spot one year ago tonight. He’d felt so confident about it, about loving who he wanted to love, about that person being Sirius. He still felt that way, and he wished he felt the same now, in the rest of his life, on the team.
“Can I say something?” Sirius said.
“Hm?”
“Opening night,” Sirius said. “You said sorry.”
Remus flushed. “I know.”
Sirius cupped a palm against Remus’ cheek. “Re.”
“That’s not—that’s not really what I meant,” Remus said, eyes on the twelve. “We don’t really have to talk about it now, we should probably go back down. Sergei said to tell you that dinner’s almost ready.” Remus tried for a smile. “He won’t share his secret sauce with Celeste.”
Sirius tilted his head, expression flickering as Remus pressed a lingering kiss to Sirius’ mouth and sat up, picking up his drink.
“Should we go down?” Remus said it in one breath, holding out his hand. “Logan’s wearing a giant honeypot and I really need a picture.”
Sirius locked their fingers together, concern still lacing his features even as he smiled. “I’ll sneak one. I’ll hand him Katie. He can never resist her.”
Remus laughed as they walked down the stairs hand in hand. “That’s true.”
Sirius pulled him back with a gentle tug before on the landing before they could rejoin the team.
“We don’t have to talk about it. And I know these games have been rough,” Sirius said, and Remus bit his lip as he looked up at him. “But I’m so proud of you. And I love you.”
Remus couldn’t help but lean back into his chest. I feel like I’m letting you down. The words echoed in his head, but he couldn’t quite force them out. I feel like I’m letting all of you down.
“I’m proud of you, too,” Remus said, and despite his thoughts, his smile was real as Sirius kissed him and led him back to their family.
254 notes · View notes
wizkiddx · 3 years
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ohmyword if your doing req can u pls do another fluffy, domestic one bcos honeymoon morning is some i read daily AHAH maybe like the reader gets ill and toms away or something???? pls just anything fluffy
awh thank you for being so sweet abt honeymoon morning - I do think that's one of my favourite concepts ive done!! and I hope this suits what you want, im not so sure myself but I tried :)))
summary: you try to hide being ill from Tom before he leaves but inevitably it doesn't all go to plan
warnings: mentions of being sick, I think that's all - basically just fluff 
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
The night hadn’t really gone typically at all. Instead of relishing the last night with Tom for a few months, your body seemed to have different plans. Hence why now you were curled up in a ball on the sofa, staring blankly at the TV, while the washing machine whirred next-door in the utility room and the chemical smell of cleaning products enveloped the downstairs. At least when you were sick, you were a clean sick. 
You were also a quiet sick. You had been pulled from your sleep by the uncomfortable heavy sensation from your stomach barely an hour after you’d both headed to bed. Why was beyond you - what had been important in that moment was to get away from Tom. He was flying back to set tomorrow (or given the early hours currently, lunchtime today was more appropriate) and only had a single day to settle before launching back into filming. So the poor boy was inevitably, given time zones, going to be running on poor quality plane sleep for the next couple of days - you wanted to five him a final night of peace, at least. 
As a result, you’d crept downstairs and since then spent a large chunk of the night making good friends with the downstairs toilet bowl. Once you were absolutely certain there was literally nothing else in your stomach, you chucked some bleach down the loo; then stripped your *stained* pyjamas and chucked them in the washing machine; changed into some freshly washed stuff in the utility (comprising of joggers and one of Tom’s hoodies); before you could curl up in the corner of the sofa. 
And that’s how you’d been for an hour or so. Still feeling grim, unable to fall asleep as much as you were trying to and generally just lying in a ball of self pity. And that was fine… until you heard the unmistakable slow padding of footsteps down the stairs. 
“Love?… -hy’re you up?” His voice was drenched in sleep, making it pull on your heart strings, even before he had rounded the sofa and come into view. Dressed only in his heather grey joggers only, Tom’s curls sat ontop of his head wildly - sticking up at all ridiculous angles. And then there was his puffy eyes, barely open as he slowly processed the sight of you curled up on the sofa. 
“Just couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to keep you up tossing and turning. Why are you up bub?”
“Don’t sleep good without you… you know kicking me and stealing the duvet and stuff.” Never one to maintain a level of seriousness and ‘soppiness’ - it was instantly turned back to the typical relationship of the two of you. While rolling your eyes, you still chuckled at him in the low light of the TV. Tom took the opportunity to perch on the edge of the sofa, sitting so he was grinning loopily down at you. “You fancied putting a wash on too?” 
“...I don’t know just trying to be productive?” He was catching on, he was suspicious. You could tell. His eyebrows furrowed together and he delicately hovered the back of his hand over your forehead, feeling the undeniable heat radiate into his skin. 
“And bleach?”
“Toilet needed doing anyway.” You mumbled, head turning to stare back at the TV- knowing his eyes were piercing into your soul. He sighed, in your peripheries you could see him shaking his head in slight frustration, as his hand reached for yours, giving it a squeeze. 
“You’re ill aren’t you?”
“I’m alright-“ he cut you off with a low warning of your name, making you cower slightly because he’d caught you in a lie. “I threw up a couple times but now I just feel a bit ‘eugh’”. That was, to be fair, a completely truthful description of your evening and current situation. Maybe not put most eloquently but Tom definitely got the messsage, somehow reading your mind by lightly massaging your abdomen with his hand that wasn’t clasped with yours. 
“Come on... let’s get you back to bed.” As much as you wanted to argue with him, it was clear any attempt would be futile. One of things you love so much about Tom is how fiercely protective he is of those dear to him. His circles progressively shrunk as he learnt who he could trust and who ... well he couldn’t. The culling had left a handful of people who were almost central to Tom’s life - somehow you’d managed to wangle your way into these select few too. 
So no, there was not point arguing or suggesting he puts his own welfare first. 
After putting you back int the double bed, Tom had disappeared for 10 minutes or so, when he reinterred the room it was clear he’d been busy. His tongue was stuck out in focus as he tried to balance different mugs and plates on a tray to you. Even if you felt shitty, for a moment by just seeing how far this guy had gone for you - you’d never felt better. 
“Okay there’s some lemsip with honey to settle your stomach, water and a slice of toast just because you should probably see if you can keep something down.”
“You really are the sweetest.”
“And you’re the illest so get drinking love.” He laughed softly in the yellow glow of the bedside lamps that illuminated the room. It highlighted his prominent jaw line and the way his eyes crinkled in the corners and given your slightly off state, you might’ve spent a bit too long ogling at the man cosied up next to you. Never would there be a time you weren’t grateful for him. 
Turns out you couldn’t keep the toast down but the experience was somewhat less horrific - this time you were spilling your guts out into your ensuite, while Tom held your hair and rubbed your back. Eventually things settled, allowing The two of you nestle back into bed, Tom wrapping his arms round your stomach to lightly trace random patterns on the skin underneath your hoodie - as you nestled back into his chest more. 
“I really love you Tom”
“Love you darling, now get some rest and shout if you need anything.” You hummed lightly, almost letting go to sleep now your felt a bit less like your intenpstines were wringing themselves together. But not quite. 
“I’m gonna miss you and your stupid face.”
“We can talk about that when your better” It was as if Tom thought whispering and drawing circles on your stomach was going to deafen you to his words. Yes your stomach wasn’t having a lot of fun and you were tired - but you were not deaf. It was oh so predictable too, he loved to be absolutely ridiculous. Indignantly you huffed, rolling over and eyeing him intently. 
“What’s there to talk about?” 
“Just…. Just if your sick you shouldn’t be on your own. I could always just-“
“No no you couldn’t. You and me both know for a fact you do have a choice and even if you did it be pissing off a hell of a lot of people.” He pouted, you could tell even in the darkness of the night. 
“I hate having to leave you though, especially like this.”
“Yes but you love your work too. I’ll be here when you get back… maybe just with a bit less intestines.” Laughing at that, Tom pulled you onto his chest, pressing his tips to the crown of your head as your burrowed into his side. 
It can’t have taken more than 5 seconds for you to fall asleep, exhausted from the illness, the stupid time in the morning and maybe slightly for dealing with Toms idiocy.  
You were awoken in the morning to Tom stroking your hair gently, all dressed and ready for his flight - but still finding the time to fuss over you and wanting to say a proper goodbye. After practically ordering his to leave… you best believe he dropped in the fact he’d got both Sam and Harry to come round as your babysitter. 
He was an idiot. But he was your kind, caring , beautiful and loving idiot. 
228 notes · View notes
one-boring-person · 3 years
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You forced this upon yourself😂 you forced this rambo simp.(and i dont mind)
Okay this may not be as good! But! Im giving you the liberty to take it where you want!(because i love your little details and how you express the feeling in your writing i- AH! Its great. I cant say it enough, it’s great. I mean it.)
How about Rambo finally getting enough courage to show The rancher around the tunnels, in a date sort of way!(they don’t know thats actually where he lives. Aka that photo i showed you before.) i really saw how the rancher was so happy to have him at their house, I’d love to see rambos side of scheduling a house tour and date type deal!! Maybe him even sitting and showing the rancher through all his old photos, and them just in awe because wow. He’s so much cooler than they even thought! He just so nervous and surprised seeing them so interested in him after all this time alone, and them just- in awe of him.
( i also really think it would be funny seeing rambo go through his friends house and seeing-“why the hell you have so many plants???” And just. Adorable assassin living with a wholesome and loving hardworking s/o)
Ah! Im sorry if that’s not as good!! But hey, you feel free to describe their antics and relationship as you will!!
I think I may have run a bit with this, but I hope you like it regardless!😊💛
I've Got Your Back, You've Got Mine.
John Rambo (Rambo IV/V) x reader
Warnings: mention of death, mention of war, mention of injury, mention of PTSD, mention of violence, (possible flash warning for gif?)
Masterlist
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The heavy knock on the door surprises me where I'm sitting, the sharp sound snapping me from my thoughts. Looking over at it from my position at the table, I frown and set down my spoon, standing to go answer, unsure of who it is: I'm not expecting anyone today. Colt looks up from his place on the floor, the dog just as curious as I am as to whom it may be, though he doesn't bark, so it must be someone we know. He watches me as I cross the room, going straight to the door.
Opening it, I'm somewhat surprised to see my neighbour, John, standing there, a tentative smile on his face as he looks me over appreciatively, his gaze drawing a blush to my face. 
"Mornin' (Y/n)." He greets, rough voice friendly as he waits for me to let him in.
"Morning John." I smile back, delighted to see him, "What can I do for you?"
I step back, waiting for him to enter, which he does so with a nod of thanks.
"Since when have I needed a reason to see you?" The veteran chuckles, the sound reverberating within me, my brain subconsciously storing the action away for later recall. Gently, John moves into my space, one hand coming to lightly rest on my hips as the other cups my face, drawing me in for a slow kiss. 
Kissing back, I feel a glow of happiness flare up in me at this contact: he's never really one to initiate touch like this, so it's a whole lot more intimate when he does. Relaxed, I loosely wrap my arms around his neck, languidly caressing his dark hair as our lips move together. 
Being the killjoy he often loves to be, Colt pushes in between us, nosing at John's leg, tail wagging enthusiastically as he recognises the familiar man, the dog as fond of his company as I am. Chuckling, John and I pull apart, looking down at the large canine between us, the dark eyes staring up at us imploring us to pay attention to him. Still smiling, John lowers a hand to scratch Colt's head, ruffling his floppy ears a little as the dog instantly allows his mouth to hang open, tongue lolling in content.
"Hey, Colt." The veteran greets, biting back a laugh as the dog pushes me out of the way, nudging at John's stomach.
"He never gets that excited to see me." I complain jokingly, standing back to watch the two interact, a smile playing at my lips.
"Sure he does." John replies, eyes fixing on mine with an expression of fondness, one that had me weak at the knees.
"He really doesn't, he just sits in the corner and whines at me until I feed him. Isn't that right?" I address the dog himself, giving him a light slap on the rear, his ridiculous height meaning I can quite easily reach it, "Anyhow, did you need something? Or did you just come here to kiss me? I can't say I'll complain if that's the case."
Cheekily, I wink at the veteran, leaning back against a nearby counter.
"As nice as that sounds, it's not the reason I came by." He chuckles, blushing lightly, "Though that does sound good."
Grinning, I nod my agreement, only now taking in his body language: he's nervous. His hands fidget, rubbing his fingers over scars and lines on his palms, and he shifts from foot to foot every now and then, small tells he's never quite managed to hide from me.
"Is something up?" I ask him, slightly more serious this time, unnerved by his discomfort.
"No, no, not at all. I, err, well, I just wanted to ask you something." He rubs the back of his neck, head tilted to the side as he regards me, dark eyes fixed on mine.
"Ok, go for it." I prompt him, curiosity sparking my interest.
"Well, do you wanna come to mine? I mean properly, like in the house." John cocks his head to the side, lowering his arm again.
Blinking, I feel shock flood my system, before it turns to unbelievable happiness that he's trusting me enough to come into his private space. Initially, I can't find the right words, somehow struggling to respond, until I find my tongue again.
"I would love to, John." I agree, features lighting up as my mood brightens, "There's nothing I've really got to do today except train up one of the younger horses, so I've got as long as you want after that."
"Great. Is four o'clock alright?" The veteran smiles broadly, though he still looks somewhat nervous.
"Yeah, should be. I'll be there." I promise him, taking up my Stetson from the table as I briefly turn away to put away the plate I was using, having lost my appetite in my sudden excitement.
"I'll get it tidy." He says, looking around the room again, "I'll never understand why you have so many plants in your house. It's like a damn jungle."
At his comment, I laugh loudly, glancing around at the variety of different houseplants I have placed on various shelves, the greenery practically covering every available surface. 
"Because it's way too dry to grow anything like this outside all the time. Anyway, they look nice." I shrug, calling Colt to my side as I follow John from the house, grabbing my jacket from the hook as I pass.
"But why so many?" 
Once again, I shrug, following him over to a nearby post, where he's hitched Bandit, the horse I gave him a few months ago. The buckskin stallion paws at the ground, his pale coat looking as clean as ever even as he noses at the dust, the dark colouring around his eyes (the reason for his name) and legs standing out much more in the bright sun. As we approach, he looks up, snorting in greeting.
"He's looking good." I acknowledge, admiring the strong stallion appreciatively - I had reared Bandit from a foal, before I had given him to the veteran as a gift four months ago, hoping it will help him to grow his own ranch. My plan had worked, and John now has four horses, including Bandit, as well as a couple of other animals, such as a cow, a pig and five chickens. I'd sold him a couple of goats as well, but we soon found out that John and goats just didn't get along. At all.
"Yeah, he's doing well, too. Takes the training very well, too." John runs a hand through the stallion's dark mane, untying the reins.
"That's good. Reckon he'll be ready for a competition soon?" 
"Should be." 
Snorting again, Bandit pulls at the reins, clearly eager to get going, especially as Colt moves up to sniff at the horse's back legs. I quickly whistle him over, knowing Bandit has always been shifty around the dog.
"I'll see you at four then." I finally say, unwilling to say goodbye, even if it is only for a few hours.
"Yeah, see you then." John smiles, leaning in to kiss me again, keeping it brief this time, leaving me wishing for more, as he always does.
"See ya." I grin, watching him climb into the saddle, still somehow fluid in doing so despite his age. 
Gathering the reins in hand, John adjusts himself in the saddle, before he smiles down at me again as he gently urges Bandit into motion. Obediently, the stallion moves into a swift trot, which turns into a faster canter as the two move off down the driveway, heading towards the split in the fence separating our land. I watch as they go, still finding myself enraptured by the sight of the muscular man sat astride the horse, Colt eventually snapping me from my mind as he barks at me. Shaking my head, I follow him towards the stable.
Hours later, having showered and cleaned up, I feel a sense of relief go through me as I hoist myself into the saddle secured into place on Leo's back. It's relaxing, the stallion beneath me more relaxed than the youngster I've been trying to train all day: she never gave me a break. Seemingly sensing this, as he always does, Leo flicks his ears back and nickers softly, very lightly pawing the ground as I give him a pat on the neck, glad to have a more reliable horse taking me where I need to be.
Tilting back my Stetson, I take the reins in hand and ease the stallion into a trot, intending to let him pick up his own pace, my trust in this horse far greater than in the mare from before. Obediently, Leo moves into the correct gait, the two of us moving as if as one, years of riding together having made it easy for us to become in tune with each other. Together, we start off down the road towards John's ranch, the new path we've created beaten and well-used, allowing for relatively easy riding. Leo's hooves pound the dry ground rhythmically, my hips moving in time with his every stride, the relaxing movement helping to calm the nerves that have sprung up inside me.
A part of me is still unconvinced about going into John's home. Yes, I had helped him rebuild it and had seen very little of the inside rooms, but it still feels as if I'm intruding upon the veteran's safe space, his reprieve from the cruelty of the world he lives in. Something about that doesn't sit right with me, but I tell myself it's John's decision to make, not mine, so I should trust him, which I do, wholeheartedly. 
I'm still torn by the time I reach the main house, where John is already sat waiting for me in his rocking chair, dark eyes fixed on me as I approach. Lifting a hand to him, I smile and slow Leo to a halt, praising the horse as I climb down, the gray stallion nosing affectionately at me. Swiftly, I tie him to a nearby post, only to stop when John calls out to me.
"Put him in the stable for the night." He instructs me, gesturing for me to follow him as I try to fight back the sudden onslaught of racing thoughts at his implications: he wants me to stay the night?
"Sure, thanks." I smile back at him, walking after him with Leo in tow.
"Don't worry about it. It's not fair on him if he has to stay out all night." John waves me off with a short grin, "How'd training go?"
I groan.
"Not great. That horse has it in for me, I swear." I complain, rubbing at my arm, remembering the moment I got the new bruise forming there.
"Oh yeah?" He muses, looking amused.
"Yeah. She threw me off eight times!"
"Eight times? Wow, must be a new record." The veteran jokes, something that stirs up the familiar fondness inside me at his more personable behaviour.
"I reckon so. Painful one to set, though, I'll tell you." I remark, smiling broadly as we enter the stable, where I quickly house Leo next to Bandit, removing his tack and other gear.
"Must be." John watches me work, leaning against the door to the large building, muscular arms crossed over an equally muscular chest. Turning back to him, I have to stop and admire the bulging of his biceps as his hands grip his forearms, the veins I've come to love laying out a pattern on the tanned limbs. Everytime I see them, I imagine his strong arms wrapped around me, holding me safe and secure against his solid body, wishing I could feel his hands splayed against me more often.
"Like what you see?" John interrupts my thoughts, voice teasing as he lifts an eyebrow at me, almost smirking at me.
Blushing furiously, I avert my gaze, lifting a hand to gently tap the brim of my Stetson out of my vision.
"You know I do." I laugh nervously, before I look back up at him, "Anyway, since when do you use pickup lines?"
"Since I figured out they get you all flustered." His playful tone is new to me, though it's gone almost as soon as I see it, his guarded expression falling back into place as he returns within himself, probably thinking he overstepped some invisible boundary.
I still can't help stammering for a response, his gruff tone awakening something within me.
"Heh, I guess you're right." I stutter, going over to him.
Nodding, he keeps his expression straight, leading me out back to the house, where he quickly welcomes me inside.
"I tried to tidy it as much as possible, but it's still a bit messy." The veteran apologises, observing the interior of his home critically, even as I do so in awe.
The rooms, from what I can see, are mostly filled with sparse furniture, a few chairs here and there, an old sofa, a couple of vanities and dressers, with a mantlepiece in most, if not all, of them. He hasn't used much colour, but what he has used is tasteful and works well with the overall appearance. The walls, however, are what really draw me into the place.
They are littered with photographs and memorabilia, frames and objects cleaned and polished so they shine brightly in the afternoon sun, many smiling faces visible in them. Curious, I go over to one wall, looking over the array of pictures, which I now recognise to be images of John and his friends from the years he spent here. Amongst them is a creased black and white photo of a young John sat astride a horse not unlike Bandit, a broad grin on the boy's face as he stares at the camera from under a mop of thick black hair. I can feel a small smile creep onto my face at the sight of the veteran looking so happy and carefree, something I've not seen very much of at all in my time around him.
"That was my first horse, Hector. I had him until I left for the army." John says from behind me, sounding somewhat quiet, eyes softened from nostalgia as he stares at the picture along with me, "I loved him a lot, but my father always said he wasn't good enough."
His words hang in the air as I stay speechless, listening intently to what he's saying to me: it's the first I'm hearing about his life before he came here again.
"What happened to him? Hector, I mean." I ask him quietly, tearing my eyes away to look up at John.
The veteran shrugs, appearing somewhat remorseful.
"I'll never know, but I reckon my father sold him as soon as I was gone."
"Oh." I frown, glancing back at the photograph.
"The horse was getting old by that time, though. He probably wasn't much use." John chuckles wryly, moving away towards the stairs nearby, "Do you want to see upstairs?"
"Yeah, sure." I nod, following him as he ascends to the second floor, which I now see consists of three different rooms.
He takes me to the farthest, opening the door to reveal an old study, which looks as if it hasn't been used in a good few years.
"This was my father's study, where he did all his business. I was never allowed in here as a kid." John sweeps his arm around the room, staying by the threshold, as if abiding by a rule that no longer exists, "Not that I go in here that much as an adult."
I look around, finding the neat area interesting: images of a young John hovering by the door, waiting for his father to finish business entering my head.
"It's nice, I like it." I remark, turning to find him smiling very slightly at me.
"It's the only room in the house that's exactly as it used to be. I haven't had time to do up the others properly." John says, leaving the study and going back down the hall, where he opens the other two doors to reveal a bathroom and an empty room.
A dull curiosity flares up within me as I realise one thing about the top floor, but I easily find a solution to it, following John back down the stairs. As we go, however, I realise that my assumption is wrong, as the only other rooms down here are missing the one thing I'd expect in any house.
"Where do you sleep? I haven't seen a bed or anything anywhere." I ask him, cocking my head to the side as he takes me to one final door.
"I'm gonna show you." He smiles at me, before he opens the door.
I blink as I see the dark steps descending into the ground, unease biting at my throat as I flash John a hesitant look. A cool draft wafts up from the black depth, but John only chuckles and moves down into the space below, gesturing for me to follow.
"It's perfectly safe, don't worry." He calls to me, a light flickering on as he reaches the bottom of the steps, illuminating the path to me.
Swallowing, I gingerly step down the stairs, emerging into a tunnel of sorts, my curiosity piqued as I take in the chiselled walls around me, the rock cast in an odd light from the naked bulbs positioned along the length of the cavern. Struts of wood hold the ceiling steady, wiring hanging off of them in places where he's had to hastily put it all together. John watches as I take in the passage, a thoughtful look in place on his face.
"What is this place?" I wonder aloud, still taken aback by the oddity of having a tunnel beneath the house that stretches off in both directions.
"This is my safe space." The veteran informs me, urging me along with him as we go further into the tunnel, walking together for a minute before we emerge out into a larger room of sorts, which is well lit. 
My eyes widen as I realise exactly what he means.
The room acts as his bedroom and bathroom, and also has space to sit and relax, the whole area having a homely feel to it. What was missing in the rooms in the house can be found down here, including more photographs, though these ones seem different to the others. They adorn the walls, all except one, which is decorated with a variety of weapons, both guns and knives. Going over to it, I look over the rifles and shotguns hooked onto the wall, struck speechless as I then turn my attention to a machete, the blade honed but chipped from use, seemingly out of place as it hangs beside another, smaller hunting knife. 
Moving on, I regard the photographs, only now realising that they're military pictures, many of them containing images of a youthful John in fatigues and uniform. A smile creeps back onto my lips as I feel my eyes land on a particular image of a group of men, where I can see John standing amongst them, a triumphant grin on his face, long locks of dark hair held back by a strip of fabric around his head. The others also smile, though there's something bittersweet about the inscription at the corner of the photo: Baker Team, Vietnam. As I look past the other pictures, I notice that the team slowly dwindles, beaming faces becoming drawn and solemn, eventually just leaving two people behind. Beneath this image is another inscription: Baker Team Survivors.
"That was my team in 'Nam." John says suddenly, voice husky as he remembers the friends he had, "None of them made it back. Not really."
Eyes wide, I look back at him, taking in the distant look in his own eyes, the barely concealed grief still raw in his expression as he stares at the photographs. Noticing my gaze, John gestures for me to come sit on the edge of his bed with him, the veteran pulling another photograph from it's place on his bedside table. Doing so, I make sure I'm not touching him, but am close enough to reassure him, waiting patiently for him to start talking of his own accord, knowing that this is a sensitive subject for him.
After a moment, he starts, his voice low as he pulls me into his stories, taking me through suffocating jungles and blistering heats, through recon and rescue missions, through bloody gunfights and hellfire,  through hours spent in torturous situations. He puts me in his shoes as he loses every single member of his team to the gruesome fight he should never have fought, the harrowing grief and pain of letting go of a comrade, someone who's supposed to be by your side for as long as the two of you can stay alive, laid bare for me to see and experience. And even as he moves on, back to familiar territory in the States, the fight never leaves him.
Facing harassment in what should be his safety and security, I can feel every bit of betrayal, of anger and grief that he felt as he is let down by his own country time after time, used again and again by the authorities to do their dirty work, only to be cast aside when it doesn't go their way, the old catchphrase he once lived by, "I've got your back, you've got mine" completely meaningless in this hollow life. His disgust in humanity is plain to me as he outlines his most recent forays into warfare, where the rage he felt is once again transferred to me, and I experience the violent need to take out the parasites in the world that destroy anything good that he did. It's as if I'm there with him, through everything, his description and memories so vivid they chill me to the core, keeping me hooked on his every word.
After a long while, he eventually trails off, and I realise there's a tear rolling down his cheek, his body shaking a little as he holds himself back. My heart breaking, I have to fight the urge to reach out and pull him into an embrace, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. I place my hand on his shoulder instead, rubbing the tight muscles soothingly until he looks up at me with the most heart-rending gaze I've ever seen in my life. At that point, my resolve breaks.
Carefully, I lean in and wrap my arms around his shoulders, pulling the veteran towards me. He goes willingly, sobs wracking his body as he wraps his own hands around me, burying his face into my neck, tears flowing freely now as he lets himself go, each pained sound agonising to hear. Tightening my grip, I lay back onto the bed, allowing him to press his body around me, holding me against his muscular form as I rub his back, whispering soothing things to him as his breathing starts to calm a little. It takes time, but eventually he starts to relax, body going limp as he lays in my arms, his larger form awkwardly wrapped around mine as he depresses his face into the crook of my neck.
I barely hear his broken voice as he whispers to me.
"Thank you." 
Breathing in his familiar scent, I just mould myself closer, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead as he does the same to my neck.
"I'm here for you, John. I'm here, and I'll never leave. Not as long as I live, I promise."
71 notes · View notes
sadclearance · 3 years
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katsuki from bnha helping male reader with left hand problems cuz readers left handed?
left hand
pairing: katsuki bakugo x male! left-handed! reader
summary: 5 times bakugo helped a left-handed y/n.
category: fluff
warning(s): none
word count: 1219
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i.
they started off as desk partners in their first year at u.a.
bakugo katsuki was one loud asshole with no regard for others, and y/n preferred to keep to himself.
two individualists sitting next to each other wasn't a bad idea at all.
since y/n didn't get in bakugo's way, bakugo didn't have a reason to be rude to him--or interact with him at all, for that matter.
that is until--
"you know i don't give a fuck if you use your left hand, right?" bakugo said one day.
"what?" y/n asked.
"you've been using your right hand to write when you're clearly left-handed. unless if your handwriting's just actually that shitty."
"oh. yeah. i'm left-handed, actually."
"no shit, dumbass."
"i just didn't wanna bump your elbow or something."
"i could not give less of a fuck."
and even with the harsh vocabulary, there was no bite to his words, and y/n appreciated bakugo letting him know.
bakugo even went out of his way to give y/n more desk space, which came unexpected to y/n. he took him to be the type to draw a line down the middle, baring his teeth if his territory was invaded.
ii.
a week later, bakugo tossed something to y/n's side of the desk.
"here," bakugo said without looking at him.
"a pen?" y/n asked as he picked it up and examined it.
"some stupid pen the old hag's friend's making. prototype for some super dry ink pen that's not supposed to smear. shitty thing might not even work," bakugo scoffed, turning his back toward y/n. even though he couldn't see his face, y/n almost laughed at the bright pink tips of bakugo's ears but stifled it to the best of his abilities.
"thanks, bakugo," y/n smiled.
"got it for free, and it's not like i fucking need it. you're the only dumbass that i know that could have a use for it."
"it's perfect! woah, it works like magic!" y/n said in awe at how his letters didn't smear.
"maybe your papers won't look like shit now," bakugo huffed.
and he was right. y/n's papers looked better than they had all year.
iii.
"why the fuck are you trying to eat soup this late?"
bakugo had woken up at this ungodly hour feeling the wrath of his bladder and happened to come across a struggling y/n on the way back to his room.
"just been craving it for some reason," y/n shrugged.
"give me the damn can opener," bakugo stole the can of soup from y/n's hand.
"thanks," y/n said as he leaned against the kitchen counter, watching as bakugo opened it with ease.
bakugo handed it back to y/n and was about to leave when--
"are you about to put that in the fucking microwave?"
"...yeah?"
"what kind of dumbass puts soup in a microwave?"
"most people... i think...?"
"jesus fucking--give it to me," bakugo took the opened can of soup back before pulling out a pot and turning the handle of the stove.
he stirred the soup with a large spoon that y/n had never known the use for.
"you know a lot about cooking," y/n commented after a moment of just watching bakugo do his thing. it was amazing how graceful he looked doing it--elegant, even. how someone could look so refined and attractive in sweats and a simple tanktop was beyond him.
"i'm only warming up some fucking soup. maybe you're just a dumbass."
"not just this time. i've seen you make meals before. like actually make it. not just microwave some convenience store stuff."
"because i'm not eating that tasteless shit."
"yeah. if i could cook amazing stuff like you, i wouldn't even think about touching a frozen meal again."
"you can have some..." bakugo said quietly after a while.
"really?" y/n asked excitedly.
"i make too much for one person anyway," bakugo said defensively.
"nice!" y/n grinned, biting back a laugh. "thanks."
"here's your fucking soup," bakugo pushed a bowl toward y/n and left immediately, unable to face him with his red face.
the next morning, y/n found an extra plate in the spot next to bakugo's.
"breakfast. if you want it."
iv.
"switch spots with me," bakugo said when y/n got to class.
"what?" y/n asked.
"it'll be easier for us to write, dumbass," bakugo grumbled, even though they never once had the issue of bumping elbows before.
also, this was a simple solution that could've been thought of way earlier, but y/n wasn't sure why it was suddenly brought up now.
that is until bakugo's left hand accidentally brushed against y/n's right hand multiple times throughout the course of many weeks. enough times to let y/n know that it was definitely not accidental.
at some point, y/n just grabbed bakugo's hand and held it throughout classes.
the only response he got was a bright red face that bakugo was clearly trying to hide.
no brash words, no movement to take it away--he took that as a sign to continue.
and the very small side of bakugo that was shy was glad that y/n took the hint.
v.
"what the fuck are you doing now?" bakugo asked when he walked in on y/n baking a cake at four in the morning.
"this was supposed to be a surprise," y/n sighed as he put down the measuring cup and started turning it around with his clean left hand.
"you put too much water in the cup," bakugo said before y/n even finished turning it around.
"damn," y/n frowned, turning the measuring cup the other way so he could reach the handle again.
"move," bakugo said, taking it from y/n and pouring out the contents.
"i don't think people usually help out in making their own birthday cake."
bakugo froze as he started pouring more water in the cup.
oh yeah. it was his birthday.
"you're awake at four in the fucking morning because you're trying to make a cake for my fucking birthday?" bakugo stared at y/n with wide questioning eyes, stopping the flow of the water right before it went over the little red line for the required amount without even looking.
"did you just do that out of pure instinct? you're magic."
"what kind of dumbass makes cake at four in the morning?" bakugo ignores the compliment, but y/n knows he heard it by the way his ears go pink in the dim kitchen light.
"i wanted to surprise you," y/n shrugged.
"aren't you fucking tired?"
"i'm awake enough to try to make you a surprise cake. not really a surprise anymore, i guess."
bakugo's about to let out an exasperated groan and roll his eyes at the idiocy that he's faced with when he notices something.
he reaches over and grabs y/n's face with one hand, thumb swiping over y/n's nose before being pulled back and going into his mouth.
"frosting isn't shitty," bakugo said after licking his thumb clean, a shit eating grin on his face at the way y/n's face goes bright and eyes wide.
"ma--made it from scratch," y/n stuttered over his words at how criminally alluring bakugo was.
"happy fucking birthday to me," bakugo said before pulling y/n's face close, licking the corner of his mouth that was stained with the sweet frosting, and finally reaching y/n's lips.
❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥
a/n;
i know it's nowhere near his birthday, but when i was looking at what left-handed people commonly struggled with, measuring cups was one of the things i found, and i thought of this idea which i think is kinda cute idk maybe i'm just stupid
hope you like it anon :)
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avengersapology-vid · 3 years
Conversation
Avengers: College Edition
Steve: Criminal Justice and Studio Art double major. He doesn't want to torture himself with anything difficult and still wants to study what he loves. He is still an over achiever though. Highkey hates frat parties, saw someone twerking upside down and almost cried but stayed because hes the designated driver (responsible KING). prefers small get togethers with his friends. Roommates with sam and bucky!! Joins Criminal Justice club, jokingly rivals with Engineering (Tonys Club) Everyone on campus loves him including the professors, wins Homecoming king and is very happy. Sam jokingly asks to be his queen, Bucky butts in and says "NO, im his queen". Can be found in the library or art studio, usually with ink or pencil markings on his hands.
Tony: Obvi an engineering KING has physics as a minor. procrastinates to the max "No Bruce I have everything under control" *crams for 46 hours straight on a constant IV drip of Redbull and coffee* Super smart and helps draw the blueprint for the new engineering building. Roomies with Bruce! Tony was in a frat for a bit his freshmen year but hated it and wanted real friends (Throws better parties anyway) met Bruce and all the other avengers during a 1301 intro class. Pulls women like no tomorrow. On the presidents list every semester and tutors math for free on the side. He is basically the Dad in STEM. Tries hitting on Natasha but she is just like :/ nah, when her and bruce start dating tony is surprised because bruce is his "quiet little cinnamon roll." Tony constantly teases bruce and is like "yall fuckin (;" Steve butts in "tONY PLZ I JUST WANT TO WATCH THIS MOVIE" Bruce is thankful for steves intervention. You know how he rivals Steves Criminal Justice club? He butts heads with Business Clubs leader (Pepper) until everyone catches them together at a party. Has a caffeine addiction. Works out with Thor and Bucky one day in the rec and almost dies.
Bruce: Physics and Engineering double major (Hardworking KING) In math club with Vision and Wanda. He loves being roomies with Tony because it helps him out of his shell. Likes to draw with Steve sometimes and enjoys the quiet. Doesn't procrastinate and gets things done in a timely manor. 4.0 icon we all strive to be. Him and Nat already know each other, but bond and get a lot closer while studying in the library and they eventually start dating. He takes her coffee when she works across campus and is always almost late to class because of that (He doesn't care though bc thats his BABY) "Um.. Bruce your class is in 5 minutes" "Okay and?.....Wait I have an ex-" *Sprints to his building* Takes boxing at night with Thor, Bucky, Sam and Steve!!! Loves sparring with Thor and can surprisingly take the big buy on pretty well. Gets his butt kicked by Natasha in a MMA class though.
Natasha: Majors in Criminal Justice and Minors in Psychology. Ballet club AND MOCK TRIAL!! Has a Job at the Criminal Justice Deans office and takes MMA classes on the side. She is on Mock Trial with Loki and they actually get along quiet well once they stop butting heads about the case. Introduces Sam and Wanda to dance and they have so much fun. Coffee dates with Bruce!! Her and Steve become RAs in the following years and are the coolest RAs you know. Prefers night classes, Bruce walks her to all of them. Psychology classes are her favorite and really wants to help children one day. Volunteers at a daycare during breaks. Sis can really out drink Tony and Thor. Puts Wanda under her wing and helps her with fafsa and what not. Her and Bucky get the Russian language credit by simply testing out. Has her sh!t together and while she has a lot on her plate she can take it. She is really the Mom of the group. Can be found dancing or with Bruce. Her and Clint are icons in psychology classes.
Clint: Deaf Studies with education minor! (we stan deaf clint in the comics) In the Archery club and wins nationals for the Uni. Loves to draw with Steve. Helps Bruce ask Natasha out! PRANK ICON! loves to do prank wars with tony, bucky, loki and sam. Was in the same frat with Tony but hated it as well. While he seems to have a more reserved demeanor he is still the life of the party. (Like he knows people at the clubs ya know?) Can get in anywhere and helps everyone rent out a club for the night in celebration of midterms being over. Loves reading in the library and loves morning classes and being productive early in the day. Cracks Tonys netflix and hulu passwords (no tony... tonyr0cks69 is not good enough) Wants to teach at a school for the Deaf. Bruce sets him up with a girl from engineering and that is his future wife.
Thor: Physical Education major and Communications minor! Here on a football scholarship and is in a frat (not the asshole one tony was in) and is a partying ICON. Tries to get Loki to party but Loki just wants to drink wine with the cat he snuck into his dorm. Learns Sign from Clint to prepare for his career in education. Loves working out with Bucky, Sam and Steve. Takes up boxing during football off season and spars with Bruce. Despite being everyones fav himbo he gets really good grades and is a very good writer. Loki dorms across the hall from him. Thor actually rooms with Peter. Peter is the freshman baby and Thor takes peter under his wing and introduces him to everyone and helps him with college stuff in general. Also hooks him up with MJ and brings him to the occasional boxing session. Has a loud booming laughter you can hear in all floors of the library when he sees a funny meme. One time he actually makes a very good point and notices a flaw in one of Tony and Bruces projects leaves everyone stunned. Picks on Loki in big brother fashion. Unironically calls weed the devils lettuce.
Loki: Pre-Law and Criminal Justice. LOVES to argue. (Devils advocate ass) In Mock Trial and Criminal Justice Club. Tony jokingly calls him steves sexy secretary in CJ club. Loves Mock Trial and is the president with Nat as his right hand woman. Sneaks a cat he found at the shelter into his dorm and names it muffin. Stays in the Library writing or going over cases. The one time he was taking Natasha a copy of the Mock Trial case packet and caught her and bruce smooching. (He screeched) "Haha funny joke yall heres the case packet BYE." He automatically texts the group chat "i think nAT AND BRUCE HAVE SOME TEA FOR US HMM". Lets Peter and Bruce come over to his dorm because he knows their roommates can get a little too much sometimes. Loki also becomes an avid twitter user and thats how he gains popularity on campus. (He called the uni out for their awful and expensive parking) Was able to convince the Dean with tony and steve to create a new parking lot. Caffeine addict!!! Him and Tony always bump into each other at the coffee shop. Brings baked goods to meet ups with the gang. Loves to play pranks (especially on Tony) Him and Bucky come up with a genius prank on him and even get pepper involved. Best dressed on campus and is in the fashion club. He is the embodiment of dark academia.
Sam: Criminal Justice Major with Aerospace Engineering minor. Gets introduced to Bucky and Steve during move in and they literally become brothers. Is both in Criminal Justice Club and Engineering Club. In the Historically Black Frat on campus and takes huge pride in that. Parties with tony and thor BIG TIME. Procrastinates by throwing paper airplanes at Bucky until Bucky is like "Um...dude your paper is due in like two hours." At that moment Sam got into work faster than he ever had. Loves gossip sessions with Loki and Wanda. Works out a lot with Bucky, Steve and Thor to get rid of stress. When he and Bucky finish a final they go to loki's dorm and ask "Hey can we see your cat." Helps prep food for friends-giving and decorates the dorm for holidays. HATES 8ams so so so much. Steve promises him pancakes if he gets up and goes. Binge watches shows during weekends and screams when Destiel is finally canon. Loves running and gets a Track Scholarship when Thor gets him to join a sport. Gets Peter to join track.
Bucky: criminal justice major and psychology minor. Buck is also in ballet club with Nat, it really helps him relax and gives him a free space to think (also he runs that shit like no ones business) Criminal justice club as well and LOVES to work out and box. One time Sam accompanies him to ballet and Bucky pushes Sam into a split... the scream was heard for miles. "Sam ballet is good for athletes it helps w-" "Yeah but its not good for my balls" Doesn't willingly procrastinate but once in awhile he will forget an assignment, you best believe his eyes will snap open from his nap and get to work asap. For one of his psyche labs he had to question Steve as if he were Steve's therapist to which Steve responds "Hey bro you dont have to hit a nerve that deep" He also likes to do dance with peter since it helps him get away from Thor for a bit. Not a big partier but once the weight of finals are off his chest you best believe he will go all out. Picks on Nat and says hes gonna steal her man, to which tony interjects and says "Not if I do first" Bucky also has a very comfy dorm, comfy lighting and tons of pillows, the man loves his sleep... and so does everyone else. Sometimes he finds peter, sam, THOR, tONY EVERYONE just napping in his bed before their study time. Overall, bucky is a smart boy and his time in college is kind to him.
Wanda: English Major and Education Minor. After being an orphan Wanda knows what it feels like to not have a parental figure there and she wants to change that for other kids by becoming an english teacher. She volunteers at an orphanage, specifically the one her and pietro were in for a brief moment when they came to the states. She loves to draw as well and takes plenty of art classes with steve. She paints a portrait of the entire gang and gives it to tony as a graduation present (he cried). She loves to do volunteer work for children and also spend a lot of time in the library, She helped Nat calm down before Bruce asked her out. Her and Loki are in constant competition for best dressed. "Loki ill let you win best dressed but you have to let me see your cat" "ugh fine... btw your shirt doesnt match your boots" "hEY" Her and Peter take alot of intro classes together and are constantly running around craft stores trying to get the right stuff for projects. Visits Vision at his Job on Campus and he visits her where she volunteers and eventually they start dating. She is constantly getting visited by pietro at 4am asking "Um do you have milk" "Pietro its 4am what do you ne-" "my OREOS"
Pietro: Track star business major, frat ICON with Thor. poor boy is STRESSED he hates college and is here on a track scholarship, constantly late and running around getting shit done. Queen of late assignments but still gets them graded because he is in Track. Yeah he has alot on his plate but he still parties with thor for hours. When he is drowning in assignments Clint is always there to help him, Bruce also helps him with biology and the more science-y classes. Likes to mess around and race sam at track practice. Not into coffee but will run on all the monster energy drinks you could possibly buy. Seriously is tired of 8 a.m courses, he just wants to nap after practice. Walks into the study room that everyone was in and actually looks more sleep deprived than tony. He gets a lot of tips from steve on how to have an easier time in college and it really helps him.
Vision: Grad student working on a civil engineering masters and a TA. Meets Wanda in the library and she asks him where the biographies are. He mistakenly says they are on the 2nd floor "Uh theyre actually on the third" "Then why did you ask?" "Cause I wanted to talk to you :)" He swooned. Through Wanda he met Tony and Bruce and became their best friend, He helped out a lot with engineering club and got them far. He spends a lot of time doing research for his masters degree, he loves relaxing with the group on weekends and picks on pietro as if he is already apart of the family. Him and Loki bond over intellectual conversations from time to time. Bruce and Nat go on double dates with him and Wanda. Went to a bar once with tony and bruce and had to stop tony from singing Queens entire discography, he had the best night that night. Helps everyone with getting into jobs and into grad school in general while everyone helps him let loose and have some fun.
Peter: Peter is a Physics major and eventually works his way up to biochemistry. (hardworking icon) He is the freshman baby of the group and is introduced to them through Thor. He dances with Buck and Nat sometimes as well. Tony obviously takes peter under his wing and helps him with assignments. One time everyone was in the same study room and him and pietro have a redbull shot gunning challenge. When Peter wins Thor picks him up and almost yeets the poor boy into the ceiling. "VERY WELL DONE YOUNG PARKER YOU SHOULD BE DOING THAT WITH BEER IN NO TIME." "Thor plz" Tony and Thor help him ask MJ out and even spy on them during a dinner date. (Imagine thor with sunglasses and a scarf around his head pretending to be tonys date) He feels so accepted in college because of the gang and gets all his work done on time. Goes out of his way to get everyone christmas presents and is so excited for friendsgiving. Becomes a little stressball during finals and midterms and stays in the library till it closes. He spots loki alot in there and helps loki with science classes while loki helps him with political science classes. He meets MJ through wanda and is obviously blushing the whole time while being introduced. Gets embarrassed when the guys flirt with aunt may. "guys plz stop" This is when Sam earns his "milf hunter" nickname. "Pete hows your aunt?" "She doesnt want you sam i-" its not like that... actually it is like that"
Coulson: Alumni Icon. Is the gangs Intro professor and is the reason why everyone meets eachother. (the class was chaotic indeed) Coulson loved that class so much and he still gets visited by everyone from time to time. He is obviously close with Nick. They were there that night when Tony was signing Queen at the bar and couldnt help but laugh.
Nick Fury: Dean for criminal justice and is heavily involved with criminal justice club and mock trial. He is tired of everyones shit as always. Makes a tiktok account for the criminal justice club and has no idea how to manage social media so gets Loki to help. Has to delete it when Loki commented "hah losers" on the engineering tiktoks page. He looks intimidating but in his office he has a picture with the club and has all the gifts he gets on display. (He even framed lokis comment because it was hilarious afterall)
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forlornmelody · 3 years
Text
The Fantabulous Vacation of One Harley Quinn and Her Girlfriend Poison Ivy
Rating: T (suggestive themes, cartoon violence)
Fandom(s): DC Comics
Ship: Poison Ivy/Harley Quinn
Linkage: Ao3
Summary:   Harley's been burning the wick at both ends and Ivy knows just the thing to help. But it takes more than just a change of scenery to get Harley to let go.
Note:  Commission for @rookie009
~*~*~*
“You’re probably wondering Mr---Watchman--”
“Tockman.” Mr. Watchman spits. “William Tockman.”
“Why I’ve brought you here today.”
Mr. Watchman rolls his eyes. “I imagine you’re going to tell me.” 
“Ah! Good. You’ve stopped struggling. Progress, Mister!” Harley boops him on the nose. Maybe she made the binding too tight? “I’m not cutting off your circulation, am I?” She leans in close. “Are you comfortable? I need you comfortable.” 
“I’m tied up in ropes, wench!”
“Ah, see! This is what I’m talking about!” Harley sits across from him and his fainting couch, pulling her pen from her bun and making a heading on her notepad. “You have a whore madonna complex.” Chewing her pen, she murmurs, “perhaps from the trauma of your wife’s death? Cystic Fibrosis, was it?”
Her new patient says nothing. “Mister?” Harley glances up. “Willy?”
“Help!” William Tockman dangles from his left ankle, suspended in air by a beefy vine.  “She’s gonna kill me!” 
“Oh please. You’re hardly worth the trouble.” Ivy steps around him and the vine, brushing the dust off her hands. “Hi Harls!” How she got the vines up this far on this abandoned apartment building, Harley has no idea. But it sure has a lot of brick to climb. 
“Ivy!” Harley doesn’t so much as hug her as ram her at full speed. 
Her target, used to such behavior by now, braces for impact and manages to hug back. Harley takes a big whiff. “Mm. Jasmine?”
“Lilacs.” Ivy peers over at Clock King. “You...uh, busy?”
“Mm yeah. A little tied up at the moment. Or he is, at least.”
“So I see.” Ivy chews her lip, staring out the window as if she had left a reminder there. She makes a face as the draft stirs some of the painting tarp discarded on the floor. “I was thinking maybe we could get out of town for a bit.”
“HELP.” 
“Are you asking for help, Billy? Or do you prefer Willy?”
“HELP ME! THESE WOMEN ARE CRAZY.” 
“Great!” Harley says brightly. “Admitting you need help is the first step towards healing!”
“Harls? Are you even listening?”
“You need help dismantling another CEO along with his company?”
“No.”
“Fundraiser for conservation efforts?”
“Harley--”
“Pride pre-game with Kitty?”
“Harleen.” That stops Harley short. Ivy never calls her that. Mostly cause she hates getting called Pamela with an undying passion. Probably childhood trauma. But Harley digresses. 
Ivy sighs. “Sorry. Look. I need a vacation. We need a vacation.”
“I need help!” 
“SHUT UP ALREADY.” Ivy and Harley say it together, and Ivy waves a hand, muffling Harley’s captive, er, patient with a particularly broad leaf. 
“Mm... I’m a little busy--”
Ivy glances at Tockman, finally. “I can see that.”
“Lemme look at my calendar. Mmm.. maybe...next year? Definitely the one after that.”
“Harls.”
“I know, I know. But there’s my derby team, missions with Task Force X, the Birds of Prey, my day job--”
“I know.” Ivy takes her hands, gently, and squeezes them. It’s the softness that stops Harley in her tracks. “It’s why you need some time off.”
“But--”
“Shh. I already have plane tickets and a hotel booked. You don’t have to plan a thing.”
Harley can’t help the blush creeping up on her cheeks. “Aww, shucks, Ives. When are we leaving?”
“Now. The plane’s departing in--shit. We gotta go.”
“MMRPH.” 
“Oh, right.” Ivy releases Clock King with a patented thud as she shoves Harley out the door. “Bye!”
-----
“So, we’re we goin’?” Harley pushes the arm rest out of the way and rests her chin on Ivy’s shoulder. She glances at Ivy’s phone as if it’ll give her some clues. She spots a sudoku puzzle. “Japan?”
“No.”
“The Amazon?”
“Nope.”
“Themyscyra?” 
Ivy gives her a look. “Really?”
“Er….my mom’s? Please say it’s not my mom’s.”
“It’s not your mom’s.”
“Thank God.”
“Also, why would we fly to your mom’s house when we could easily drive? Or take a commuter bus?”
“Good point. Mm.”
Ivy smooths Harley’s hair out of her eyes. “It’s a surprise.” She snatches a quick kiss before the flight attendant rolls by. “You’ll love it.”
In this moment, Harley’s pretty sure she’d love anywhere as long Ivy’s there with her. She’s lit up by the light of the tiny window behind her, and her crimson locks glow like an angel’s. But Harley knows well enough that neither of them are anywhere close to innocent. “Say, how’d you get us past security?”
Ivy winks at her. 
“No casualties?”
Her lover mockingly brushes her own chest like a scandalized church mouse. “I would never!” she snorts. “They’ll be fine. Just a little dazed and confused.”
Harley leans her head on Ivy’s shoulder. “I know the feelin’.” And really! Harley’s proud of her. Ivy’s never been one to follow rules or care for humans. But she tries for Harley. Why she bothers when Mistah J never seemed to care, Harley has no idea. But it means the world to her. 
-----
The taxi drops them off in front of a large revolving door. But it’s not the gold handles that capture Harley’s attention. 
It’s the lush plants growing from every nook and cranny on the place. Harley bets Ivy could spend an hour naming all of them (scientific names and personal names.) Butterflies and hummingbirds in every color of the rainbow--and the faint buzzing of bees. A solitary stream crosses their path, and a wooden bridge stretches over it. Garden terrace after garden terrace rise up from the ground to an open-air cafe at the top. 
And behind the walls and the hotel proper? A waterpark. 
Harley’s eyes go as big as saucers. “Ivy! You shouldn’t have!” She squeezes her into a hug.
“Thanks, sweet pea, but I can’t breathe.” Ivy manages to get out.
“Oof, sorry. Here ya go.” Harley releases her, and Ivy pecks her on the cheek. 
“Best part is, they’ve a zero-carbon footprint and they’re waste free.” Harley rarely sees her grin so wide.” 
“Whoa.”
“They call it The Greenhouse.”
-----
Their first day at the resort passes in a blur. Harley shows Ivy a good time in and out of their bedroom. They go snorkeling in the ocean, ride the rides so many times Harley ends up upchucking their picnic at the beach, then make love at sunset in their honeymoon suite. Harley wonders if the management thinks they’re--well, they’re as good as, aren’t they? They don’t need rings or a wedding or a place of their own or--
“Harley?”
She blinks. Ivy only calls her that when she’s worried. Harley realizes she’s been staring at the chocolates on their pillows for God knows how long. “Yeah?”
“You okay?”
“Of course!” she says automatically, pulling Ivy into another kiss.
Ivy kisses back, then runs a finger down her cheek. “You’d tell me if you weren’t, right?” The setting sun makes her hair even redder, which Harley didn’t think possible, and Harley finds herself toying with her curls. 
“Hey, I’ve been wonderin’.”
If Ivy notices the change in subject, she doesn’t mention it. “Yeah?”
“How come we haven’t seen any other guests? And how come we haven’t been arrested?”
“Oh! That.” Ivy waves a hand dismissively. “I rented out the whole resort.”
“With what money??”
Ivy shoots her a wicked look that sends shivers down Harley’s spine. “Ace Chemical’s investment fund.”
“Ooooh, you’re naughty.” 
Harley dives in for another kiss but Ivy puts a finger to her lips. And doesn’t let her suck on it. Rude. “So, are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”
“Since we’ve got all this extra cash, wanna make a run at the casino? I hear they donate the proceeds to rainforest restoration.”
“Alright.” Ivy sighs and reaches for her dress. Harley has a sinking feeling that she’s going to bring this up later. Maybe if Harley’s lucky she’ll forget about it? Yeah. Ivy forgets things all the time. 
“Last one there buys the first round!”
-----
Ivy and Harley sit across from each other, an immaculate brunch setting between them and two mimosas. Her lover’s plate sits almost empty, and while Harley’s lies largely untouched. She keeps playing with her veggie egg white omelet, but the next bite never seems to make it to her mouth. “And then we can go for a walk on the beach later! Have you seen those beds? Right there on the water? Mm. Do you think anyone would hear us if we--”
“Harley, wait.”
“Like, the sound of the waves would cover it up, right? Mm. Maybe not. I’m loud. Not as loud as--”
“Harley, no. Stop. Stop.” Ivy presses her hands on either side of Harley’s face, drawing her to a standstill and inches away from her. “You don’t have to do this.”
“I want to!”
Ivy gives her a sad smile, shaking her head gently. “You don’t have to impress me, Harls. I love you.”
Harley, in typical Harley fashion, vibrates with energy. “But…I want this to be special. As special as y--”
“This vacation already is special. Cause you’re here with me.”
“But--” I’m not that special, Harley wants to say. But she knows Ivy won’t let her get away with saying that out loud. She wants to crawl underneath the tablecloth and hide until Ivy leaves. They always leave in the end. Once they get what they want. Mistah J--
“I love you, Harley Quinn.” Ivy takes her hand, gently, rubbing her thumb over her knuckles. “I’m not going anywhere.”
And maybe. Maybe it’s that she doesn’t know what to do if Ivy stays. It’s easier to love someone who doesn’t love her back. It’s safe. Ahem. Emotionally safe, Dr. Quinzel says inside her head. For once, Harley has nothing to say. She’s too busy trying to keep the tears from falling. 
“You don’t have to do anything. I already love you.” Ivy bites her lip--the way she always does when she’s thinking hard. Like how best to resurrect a drooping petunia or a rose bush that has a pest. She takes a deep breath, steeling herself. “And if it’s not too much--too early--to say this: I always will.” 
“You proposin’ or somethin’?” The words tumble out of Harley’s mouth before she can stop them. Her cheeks feel like they’re blushing as bright as Ivy’s hair. 
“I…” Ivy’s eyes widen. “I-I don’t have a ring on me.”
Shit. Fuck. ShitshitshitFuuuuuuuuuck. “I’msorryIdidn’tmeanit.” “It’s way too soon.” Harley puts on her best brave face--the same one she always put on when Bats showed up and Mistah J magically was nowhere to be found. “Marriage is so outda--”
“Harley.” Ivy puts her entire hand over her face. “Quinn.” “I never said I didn’t want to marry you.”
“Mmphwr?” 
“Who wouldn’t want to marry Harley Quinn? You’re amazing.” She traces her eyebrows. “You’re the smartest person I know.” Boops her nose. “You’re impossible to kill. Holy fuck.” Runs her fingertip across her bottom lip. “You…” Ivy presses her lips together, looking down at the table. “You helped me love again when I hated everyone.”
“Pam.” Fuck, she’s getting misty eyed. 
“I mean it. I was ready to wipe humanity off the map and start over.” She laughs a little, her voice rough as she wipes her cheek with the back of her hand. “But then you came along and nominated yourself my new shrink.”
“Don’t give me all the credit.” Wow, okay. Maybe she’s more than just misty-eyed. “You saved me too. From Mistah Jay. From Bats. From what woulda been a really boring life.”
Ivy’s smile slips slightly. “You’re not gonna die on me, are you Harls?”
Harley squeezes her hand. “Nah. You’re stuck with me.” Her words come out a little thick. “For richer or poorer.” 
Her lover leans in close, capturing her lips in a warm kiss. “That’s usually pretty literal for you.”
“HEY.” 
“It’s true! Guess I’ll have to see if Ace or maybe Lexcorp has any funds they won’t miss. I need to get that ring soon. Garnet? Spinel maybe?”
“Aww, shucks. How am I gonna be surprised now?”
Ivy scoffs. “If it’s a real surprise, it’s not a good time for a proposal.”
“But what if I want to be like those girls in those Tik Toks? Like where you propose to me but like I got my own box in my pocket?”
“Harley. A ring box wouldn’t fit in your tiny ass pockets, and you know it.”
“You know what would fit in my shorts?”
“Harleen Francis Quinzel.” Her laughter dissolves in a kiss and Harley pulls her back to their suite. They got a lot of planning to do. Though Harley has a pretty good feeling they’re not gonna get a whole lot of planning done today. But Harley’s okay with that. Pam’s always been the top of her to-do list anyway.
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twdmusicboxmystery · 3 years
Text
10x22: Here’s Negan - Details
All right. Here are a LOT of details. 
***As always, spoilers abound below for 10x22. Don’t read until you’ve watched!***
We start with Maggie and Hershel walking around Alexandria early in the morning. She calls him “a little rat” affectionately, which I’m side eying. Because of Carol’s rat last episode and because we already established parallels between Hershel and Beth from ep 17 in that he went missing and Maggie and Daryl searched for him.
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Then they sing “you are my sunshine” together, which is the same song Carl sang Negan. Because the sun is a Beth symbol, we’ve always seen her in that song. I also wonder if it foreshadows Maggie losing Hershel in some way. I don’t mean him dying, but rather being kidnapped. A lot of us have thought about one or some of the kids being taken at some point, and their parents having to search for them.  
Carol looks out a broken window (Broken Glass Theory) and sees the exchange. So, she leaves Alexandria and takes Negan with her.
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Actually, the next thing we see is a dead rabbit she pulls from a snare. The rabbit is SUPER interesting. I answered an Ask HERE about the moon rabbit, and I really love this explanation of the symbol. It makes perfect sense for Beth because the moon rabbit sacrificed itself, which is exactly what Father Gabriel said cryptically in 5x16. “How you sacrificed one of your own….”
Plus the Moon rabbit is resurrected and combines the moon symbol and the rabbit symbol.
So what does it mean in this context? 
Well, I still don’t want to go into too much detail, though I will soon. (I promise.) But if rabbit = Beth, I think this is yet another example of symbolism that points to Negan and Beth having a big arc together later. (And Carol will probably be thrown into the mix.)
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That evening, Negan drinks by the fire. What he’s drinking is clearly moonshine. It’s from one of those big glass moonshine bottles. I don’t know where he got it. I looked a second time at the stuff they left for him, and it might be in there, but if so, it isn’t visible. It would certainly be interesting if Daryl left him moonshine, but I don’t see any super-obvious hint at that. If it’s already there in the cabin, well, that’s Leah’s cabin, so….
This is where he sees his old self from the trailer. Some of the dialogue jumps out at me as things Daryl might say about himself. Evil Negan says to his good self, “You are nothing without her.” That sort of thing.
The next day he goes back to the tree with the stained-glass windows where Rick cut his throat. One of the plate glass windows has a hole in it and the other one is lying on the ground. 
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My go-to explanation of course is that the one with the hole represents the bullet hole in Beth’s head. (We actually said this of the stained-glass window in Father Gabriel’s church that Sasha shoots a hole in in 5x16 as well.) And I always see someone falling down as a serious injury. So, when Beth belly-flopped in the elevator shaft with Noah, that was a foreshadow of her getting shot. So I’m kind of seeing the window lying flat on the ground in the same way.
Of course, Negan digs up Lucille, and then it goes into the flashbacks.
It starts of course with him being a prisoner of the biker gang. We do think this gang is a parallel of the Claimers from S4. Remember that I said, overall, Negan = Daryl, right? So, this guy (Craven) even kind of looks like Joe Claimer. They dress in a similar fashion, are rough-and-tumble kind of dudes. But also, Negan runs into them after he loses Lucille. He doesn’t realize she’s died at that point, but she has. Just like Daryl ran into the Claimers after being separated from Beth in Alone.
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And we immediately see a blue cooler with IV bags inside. They’re Lucille’s chemo treatments. So blue cooler/Frosty Cola symbolism. Plus this can parallel to 6x06 when Daryl accidentally took off with Tina’s medicine when he met Dwight. Basically, these are both pointing to the same thing: a future arc involving Daryl and Beth. There are also 22s on the IV bags. So, 22 theory.
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I will say that the format of this episode is a lot like 10x18 because so much of it is flashback. They even use the same font to show the time jumps. The main difference is that with Daryl, they started 5 years ago and then jumped forward, toward the present. Here, they actually move backward first and then forward again.
So it’s like a swinging pendulum. They go back 12 years to where he’s a prisoner of the bikers. Then it goes back 6 weeks to when he’s with Lucille in their home , and then it jumps back again to before the apocalypse when she first found out she had cancer, which was right about the time the turn happened. And then it moves forward to the two of them together in the house, and then back to him with the bikers.
Okay, so, “12 Years Ago” he’s telling his story to the bikers.
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Then it actually says “Two or Three Days Ago” and it’s odd to me that they don’t specify which one it is. Negan says he found the mobile medical clinic 2 or 3 days ago, but there’s got to be a reason they don’t just go with one or the other. Anyway, this is when he found an RV with supplies. He tries to hold the doctor up and Laura (Savior) comes up behind him with a bat and hits him.
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We also get a bit of a hallucination theme. When Negan looks at the RV and the dummy guards on the roof, his sight sort of warps in and out like he can’t tell for sure. When he wakes up, he’s also hooked to an IV. (Parallel to Beth at Grady.) The doctor says he was dehydrated, malnourished, and exhausted. So maybe, in addition to all the mental break stuff we’ve already said about Daryl in 10x18, we should add these to the list.
“Six Weeks Earlier” and it shows him and Lucille. The first thing we see is that she tells him he’ll have to kill the walker but he doesn’t want to. He just turns off the generator, hoping it will go.
So, she makes him read Pride and Prejudice to her. The Pride and Prejudice thing is really interesting. He only reads a line or two, but anyone familiar with the story will be able to pick out the scene. Basically, in the story, a man asks Lizzie to marry him and she rejects him. He doesn’t love her or anything. He’s just looking for a “suitable” wife, and she can’t stand him. After she rejects him, her best friend marries him instead. And this friend doesn’t care that it’s not a love match. She just wants to be settled in life.
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So the scene Negan reads part of is where the friend, Charlotte, is coming to tell Lizzie that she’s marrying him instead. This is the part Negan reads:
"I see what you are feeling," replied Charlotte. "You must be surprised, very much surprised--so lately as Mr. Collins was wishing to marry you. But when you have had time to think it over…”
Here’s the thing. No way they’re putting dialogue from such a well-known book like this into the show without reason. And I know they said on TTD that it’s supposed to be an Easter Egg for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Fair enough, but it’s not enough of an explanation for me. In the past, there have been things Nicotero has labelled as homages to various horror films, and I’m sure that’s true, but they’re also clearly Beth symbolism.
So, you could say that Pride and Prejudice and Zombies applies to Negan and Lucille. It’s a true love story, but zombies are thrown in. That works. But why this particular passage? It’s about NOT marrying for love, or the passing of a man’s offer of marriage from one woman to another. None of that applies to Negan and Lucille. It would have made more sense to have him read a different passage between Lizzie and Darcy, you know?
So, what does this mean? We’re not entirely sure, yet. For me, I tend to think it foreshadows a future arc (I’m sure you’re shocked) and I’ll get more into that in the next few days.
@wdway​ suggested perhaps we could apply it to the Leah situation. Daryl is in love with one woman, but hallucinating a relationship with another. I think that works, too. For now, let’s just keep it in mind, shall we? ;D
Dialogue parallels include Lucille saying, “we’ll have to kill it,” which parallels Beth saying the same thing about the walker at the moonshine shack.
And of course then we get that all important scene with the green wig, “serious” mention, IV stand and bag, and walker in the eye.
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We see Negan going out to look for more gas for the generator, siphoning it out of cars.
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We also see them having fun together. Obviously them playing darts is a callback to Still. The part where they play darts is actually just like half a second in the show, which just goes to show that they did the promo shot because they wanted us to see the symbols in the scene. I want to draw everyone’s attention to the fact that the British flag is printed on the darts. This is part of the template I’ll talk about in a day or two as well. For now, I just want you to notice it. It’s important.
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When they do the candlelight dinner (*coughs alone*) they eat DOG food. Sirius reference. She suddenly says “happy anniversary” and pulls out a present for him. He says, “You know what day it is?” and she says, “no, I just wanted you to have this.” So I think the idea is that it’s not really their anniversary. She just said that as an excuse to give him a present. It reminded me a little of the “New Years Eve” theme we saw around the Claimers. Not exactly the same, but a similar vibe. It’s not REALLY New Year’s Eve. They’re just saying it as an excuse to do something else (in that case, kill Rick). Here, it’s not really their anniversary, but Lucille is saying that as an excuse to give him the jacket.
When Negan says she doesn’t owe him anything Lucille says, “I stuck with you because I could always see the man you are right now, even when you weren’t.” So again, kind of a Beth theme of seeing the best in him even when he doesn’t see it in himself. That’s a huge theme throughout this episode.
There’s more refrigerator/cooler symbolism when the fridge defrosts, ruining the last of Lucille’s treatments.
Then it jumps back to before the apocalypse. There were some symbols here as well. The main ones I noticed were specifically around Lucille. After her diagnosis, she gets in the car and hears the broadcast about the virus victims eating human flesh. Kind of a callback to hearing the Terminus broadcast in 4a.
Then she gets mad and says, just play some g**d*** music. (Music reference.) When the car pulls out, you have to check out this license plate!
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XVD-1144. The 1-1 you should recognize from @frangipanilove’s 1-1 posts. The 44 references the comic book issue where Andrea was shot in the head, and survived. And of course there’s the X. So then @wdway had the ingenious idea to ask what roman numerals X and D stood for. X=5 and D=500. So we basically have “X, 550, 1-1, 44.” Yeah, series number 55 was Slabtown. Beth was on the 5th floor. And all the rooms around them in the hallway at Grady were in the 550s. If that’s not proof that Lucille is a Beth proxy, I don’t know what is.
Plus, notice the type of car: mustang. We’ve talked about this before, but horse symbolism, and the type of car is always important.
Another thing @wdway​ with her eagle eyes picked up. Lucille is scrolling back and forth between Negan and Janine’s numbers, right? Notice the date:
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November 12. Recognize that:
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Yeah, not kidding. It’s a reference to the headstone in Alone. 👀
Back in the future again, Lucille asks Negan to stay with her. You don’t realize this the first time watching it, but clearly she’s ready to die, and just wants him to be with her, but he’s bound and determined to save her, an goes anyway.
A couple of things to point out. Negan looking for meds parallels to Daryl looking for meds at the veterinary college in 4a. Also, on TTD they pointed out that Negan is constantly putting Lucille in a position to be alone. Before the apocalypse, he left her alone to fool around with another woman, who was her best friend. He made her go to the doctor alone. (Lucille alone at the hospital could = Beth at Grady.) We see him constantly leaving her here to get supplies. And he leaves for like 6 six weeks to track the mobile clinic.
I think that’s mostly an anti-parallel to Daryl. Daryl never left Beth intentionally. But I also think it could be a future theme, not in the sense that Daryl will leave her, but I’ve always thought he would feel super guilty because they left her behind and now she’s been “alone” for 8 years. And again, not physically alone as we know she’ll be part of other groups and such, but without him and her family.
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Back with the medical people again, Laura gives Negan her bat, the one she first beaned him with, since he doesn’t have any other weapons.
All they said about Laura on TTD was that they wanted to use her—someone the audience would recognize—but also someone who had a relatively minor role. So they talked about how they could have brought Austin Amelio on and had Dwight give it to him, but because Dwight is a bigger character, and because his onscreen relationship with Negan was much bigger, it would have made it a Negan/Dwight moment and they wanted to keep this episode focused solely on Negan and Lucille. So they used Laura.
And sure, that’s fine. But they could have used any Savior they wanted. And why did they even WANT a familiar face? Why the return of the Savior with the blond hair, you know? I’m just saying. ;D
Of course Negan tells the biker gang where the medical RV is and then goes back to Lucille, but she’s already dead. This really was a very tragic episode.
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We obviously have a suicide theme here, and the fact that Negan never actually shoots or stabs Lucille in the head, both of which parallel Beth. 
On TTD, YNB even pointed out that she’s wearing the same clothes as she was the day he left, which means she committed suicide the day he left. Most of the 6 weeks he’s been out looking for medical supplies, she was already dead. Super tragic, no?
We also see keys, matches, the blue cooler again, and Negan wrapping the barbed wire around his bat. 
So, a couple of preliminary thoughts here. The 6 weeks was bugging me because they said it 2 or 3 times, really emphasizing it. I’m kind of wanting to equate it to 6 seasons. Because if Beth doesn’t show until S11 (and clearly now she can’t, unless she shows in Fear or something, but I’m not holding my breath for that) then it will be 6 seasons since Beth left the show.
And again, it’s more anti-parallel than parallel. For 6 weeks, Negan thought Lucille was alive, but she was dead the entire time. For 6 seasons, Daryl thought Beth was dead, when really she’s been alive the whole time.
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And, of course, Negan burns the house down, much like Beth and Daryl did in Still.
But here’s the other thing @wdway noticed. Check out the similarities here:
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Similar colors and structures, and both seem to be on fire at some point. And I don’t think the cabin in 5x09 was pointing toward Negan and Lucille. Rather, I think the symbolism in both instances point toward something we haven’t seen, yet. But the parallels and repeated symbolism are there.
When Negan leaves, he gets on his bike with Lucille (the bat) and drives away from the burning house. And interestingly, we see him smack his mailbox with it and knock it off it’s post. 
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Couple of things here:
The name “Smith” is written on the mailbox, so apparently that was their last name. And they mentioned it on TTD. Smith is such an everyman sort of name. It might be one of the most common surnames on the planet, so there’s definitely some interesting symbolism there having to do with Negan.
But I’m side-eyeing the actual mailbox, as part of the Communication Theme. And, on a very basic level, I’m thinking that the mailbox was intact when Lucille was still alive. He destroyed it after he lost her. So maybe it represents something along those lines, or even represents the person they lost. So mailbox = Beth.
The scene that keeps flashing in my head is from 6x03 when Daryl is riding around on his bike, searching for Rick, and he’s passing all these mailboxes in the background. 
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Then in 10x21, we see him walking toward the military walker on the train tracks (*coughs CRM, *coughs Rick*) and he passes the blond, Beth walker, but doesn’t actually look at her or see her. Do you kind of see the similar theme there?
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Negan brutally killing the biker gang can parallel Rick doing the same to Joe Claimer in 4x16.
Negan tells Craven a story about how he lost his job. He got in a bar fight. It was their favorite because it had a JUKE BOX. And they loved the juke box because it played their favorite song (You are So Beautiful to Me.) He even talks about “seeing red” and how he now realizes he can do anything he wants (read: kill anyone he wants) so we kind of see his evolution into S6 Negan here.
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And honestly, they leave a lot of loose threads here. We never learn what happens to Franklin (he’s still alive at this point) and obviously Laura stays with Negan long term, but they really could do more flashbacks about how he started gathering people and found the Sanctuary.
So then we come back to the present where he’s just dug Lucille up under the stained glass window tree. In the first scene at the beginning, we see a walker making its way toward him. Yes, it’s a blond, female walker, and I’m pretty sure she’s wearing Daryl’s shirt from when he was at the Sanctuary. Here at the end, Negan has been lost in his own thoughts so long, the walker comes up behind him and he turns around and kills it with Lucille. 
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When he does, the bat splits down the middle. Yet another symbol of Lucille’s death.
He goes back to the cabin and sits in front of the fire and talks to Lucille (both the bat and his actual wife). He says, “I’m sorry I left you…I made myself not feel anything…I miss you.” See how we could apply that to Daryl?
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He also says, “I’m going to do your fighting for you,” which I take to mean he’ll honor her memory better, now, rather than go back to the old, evil Negan he was. Which was really just years of him avoiding his feelings about her death. (Kind of like Daryl has with Beth, hence the Leah situation.)
Then he covers the bat in a white cloth (clearly meant to be a shroud) and puts the bat in the fireplace, burning it. On TTD, they do say this is meant to be the funeral she never got. 👀
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Oh, and at the end of the “in memoriam” on TTD, it actually says, “Negan is burning down his past.”
So, at the very end, he actually goes back to Alexandria. Maggie, Carol, and Daryl are near the entrance and he asks where the “A” team is going. Carol warns Negan that if he lives at Alexandria, Maggie will kill him at some point. I actually really liked this ending. It was a good way to kick us into S11.
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That’s the end of the episode. So, I’ll say this again and it will be a good segue into my next post about what I think Beth’s arc will be in S11, and how she’ll appear. I’ll post it either tomorrow or Thursday.
Without getting too much into the weeds, I think Negan and Beth will have some major, future interaction. And I really think the symbolism here backs it up, for various reasons. The symbolism itself wouldn’t prove anything, as we’ve seen this stuff repeated with lots of different characters and especially true love couples, which Negan and Lucille clearly were, despite his cheating.
But on TTD, Hilarie Burton talked about how strong Lucille was. She said she liked the character because so often when cancer victims or victims of other prolonged diseases are portrayed on film, they’re seen as angelic, ethereal beings. And while that’s fine if that’s truly who they are, you don’t lose your personality just because you become sick. So she liked it that Lucille was a little rough around the edges. She says that even before the apocalypse, Negan was just fussy enough that he would need a strong woman to rein him in, and he would also be attracted to exactly this kind of strong woman. 
Strong woman = Beth.
So, I’ll just leave it there.
Anyone find any symbols I missed?
18 notes · View notes
samwritesforyou · 4 years
Text
We’re gonna be okay
Diego x reader
Summary: You and Diego worked out a system for a situation if he ever comes to your place while being in the highest form of distress and needs your help. He assured you it won’t happen often. Until one night, it finally did.
A/N: i feel like i’ve read the whole tumblr dot com worth of diego x reader fanfics and yet i still wanted more, so the desperate need to finally write something myself has been fulfilled. i would actually love to take requests, so if you want, dont hesitate to message/ask me! im ready to write fics and headcanons :) (my blog might seem new but ive been on tumblr for years and years and i finally dedicated a new blog to mostly reader inserts, either my own or reblogging others)
Warnings: Mentions of a panic attack, gender neutral reader
Wordcount: 3,350
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There was a knock on the door.
It was pretty late, but not too late for it to be Diego yet.
Or so you thought.
You got up kinda lazily from a comfortable chair you had situated in the corner of a room, at first designed mainly for reading or napping, but ending up doing absolutely whatever you could on the spot. Eating pizza, watching netflix, browsing through the internet after long working hours that you put in into your tiny art selling business.
You slightly opened the door and already plastered a semi-fake smile for a possible neighbor, but in front of you stood Diego.
Your dear friend, who was at the moment soaked from the rain outside, with big eyes, fast breathing and bloody hands.
Bloody hands?!
“Hello to you too, friend!” you said quite worried, quickly patting him down for signs of any physical pain. For the first time in a while he seemed fine, unscarred.
Your eyes finally went up, literally scanning his face but it was completely unreadable.
His eyes were wide and he looked as if he couldn’t comprehend what was going on around him.
You looked down again and took his fists into your hands. His own palms unclenched and you could see that they were heavily bloodied.
“Diego.. whose blood is it?”
No answer.
You rushed him inside and closed the door behind the two of you, facing the damn vigilante again.
“Diego, I need to know who’s blood is on your hands,” your voice grew steadier as you knitted your brows together in worry and confusion.
Only then the guy decided to move his arms and you noticed how shaky he is. He connected his two index fingers in the form of a cross, pressing it to his chest.
Your own eyes went wide now as you stumbled back a few steps and your mind went blank.
.
.
.
You instantly remembered a night that happened a few years back. He has come in crumbling through your window and was obviously in some new form of distress, that you couldn’t quite understand yet.
“Diego?” it seemed like your voice didn’t reach his ears, so you tried calling out his name again, getting up from the couch and patting him lightly on the body, to determine any sign of an injury.
It looked like there was none, so you tried to reach his gaze that was somewhat absentminded, all over the place, scanning everything but not meeting your eyes.
He was a tough guy, and you knew it. You knew that if you want to get answers, you need to either get them yourself or make yourself heard, until he cannot ignore you any longer.
“Diego Hargreeves, what is going on?” your voice was soft yet determined.
His dark orbs finally stopped on your face and he just shook his head, his breathing oddly fast for a man who was just simply standing.
You continued to push. You didn’t have the best day either, and to be interrupted at 1am by his visit was nothing new, but you couldn’t let him have this behaviour. Even though you’re friends, that didn’t automatically mean that he could do whatever he wanted.
Throughout the whole night he didn’t say a thing, but when you started adding volume to your voice, he.. he just broke down.
That night, you’ve witnessed Diego experience a panic attack. Caused by yourself.
You couldn’t fall asleep that night, even after you eventually calmed him down and the only thing that was left to do for you was to watch him sleep and slowly rubbing circles on his exposed arm out of the blanket.
It felt like neons before you noticed a first ray of sunshine drawing from the half-closed curtains, making you spring to your feet and drag your ass to the kitchen, trying to think of what to do for breakfast.
When you figured the recipe out and finished cooking, Diego was already up and joined you near the kitchen counter, next to which you had two stools.
He settled on one of them, looking at you.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” you couldn’t muster anything better, so you just put a plate in front of him and then sat next to his side, simply digging into your portion of scrambled eggs.
“About last night, y/n..” he drifted off, probably at first deciding that it’s better to fill his stomach a little bit.
In the meantime you didn’t dare to speak up and just waited for him to say something, anything.
When he finished his meal, he finally turned to you with a sigh.
“You know that one guy I told you ‘bout? That we.. we do some vigilante shit together from time to time?”
You just nodded, not meeting his eyes.
“Well. I guess I could count him as a close friend. You know.. and,” this was followed by a slight pause and clearing of the throat.
“He died yesterday. I couldn’t save him.”
Your eyes immediately shot up to Diego and all that vulnerability and hurt that you’ve clearly seen yesterday just overtaking him were completely gone. Now present only a strong facade that he mastered whenever he needed to hide from showing emotions. You hated it.
“Shit, Diego..” you spoke quietly and softly, all the words seemed to have left you in all the things unsaid in your throat. But you tried to continue.
“I’m sorry. And I’m also sorry for pushing you over the edge. I.. I didn’t know what happened so I just acted how we would normally do,” he smirked at that, merely for a second, but you still caught it.
“Look, I.. I know, “ he simply said and then it felt as if he was weighting pros and cons of telling you something else that was clearly on his chest.
“You always help me out. Every single night I come to you.. Why do you do it, y/n?” Diego’s eyes were steadily turned your way.
At the sudden question you raised an eyebrow, “well, I.. I care about you.”
He lightly bit his lower lip and turned his gaze away, clearly thinking about something really hard.
“Okay,” he finally said, “y/n, do you think I could ask you for a favour then?”
At that your eyes met and you felt nervous, for some reason.
You really liked him. Not just like a friend. But you understood that there probably won’t be a chance for you two to ever become a couple (mostly considering that you didn’t believe that he could feel about you this way), so you settled for friendship anyways, since you two really got along well.
And having this handsome tough guy as a friend? Damn, just that is already some kind of luck swinging your way.
But your feelings of course meant that.. you’d do more for him than what you’d do just for a friend. You would get out of your comfort zone just to help him with injuries or hear him talk about his girlfriend (at the time, now they were broken up) and how they argued so much that he ended up on the streets and didn’t really want to go to his lonely place at the gym.
And you took him in. You always did. And since the day you became friends you always care for him.
And you’d care now once again.
“What is it?” in your tone danced a question, troubled with what he might ask for.
“Well, yesterday-“ he cut himself from finishing and cleared his throat, starting over.
“I imagine we’re gonna be friends for a long time, right?”
You just pushed your brows up with a small nod in affirmation.
“I never had.. anyone, really, to help me with the states I often got into,” you immediately thought of Eudora, wasn’t his ex-girlfriend supposed to be his support pillar? Or is he just making you feel sorry for him-
“Or I didn’t ever trust anyone that much, you know,” oh, okay, that kind of explains that then.
“And I guess.. I trust you enough? To share this?” he talked quietly and mumbled a lot so you realised soon you won’t be able to hear him at all.
You grabbed his hands with yours and caught his attention this way.
You were never really touchy together, but occasional hugs and even holding hands was kind of a standard for you from time to time.
His eyes met yours again and you cursed yourself for your heartbeat getting faster. This is not an appropriate moment to get butterflies in your stomach, dammit.
“I’m listening, Diego,” you confirmed, nodding again.
“Okay. It’s- it’s just really h-hard to talk about this,” he stuttered a bit, but with the next breath continued again, “When there’s some situation that’s just completely fucked up, like losing someone close to me, or- or somethin’ else, I don’t know.. I finish what I need at the scene where it happened but when I come home I just,” he breathed some air in and you felt his hands squeeze yours a bit tighter, “I just break down, you know? Sometimes it’s just all too much for me and I don’t know how to deal with it and I would just wanna.. someone to hold me, I guess? Otherwise when someone’s trying to talk at me or somethin’ I just get even more worked up and it’s even worse.”
It all started to come together in your mind. Even though it sounded really strange to hear Diego talk about things like.. wanting to be held and shit. But you always guessed there’s a far bigger sweetheart and a soft boy underneath all those harness and knives.
You tried to pick your words carefully.
“So when I started to ask you shit.. You just flipped. Basically because I was talking at you a lot and you couldn’t take it anymore, right?”
He sighed and looked somewhere up, nodding bit by bit.
“Yeah, yep. That was it.”
You clapped at his hands lightly, to bring his focus back again and he looked at you and mustered a sad, faint smile.
You did the same. In the world you lived in, unforeseen and unfortunate events were happening left and right and thinking about his childhood and everything.. no wonders he developed such a huge reaction and coping mechanism to something catastrophic happening.
“That’s okay, Diego. I’m here for you, I mean it. Let’s just talk about some things what I should and shouldn’t do when you come here in that state, alright? I just want you to feel comfortable.”
“Alright. Thank you, y/n,” he was looking down now, the whole morning kinda failing to meet your gaze and just rubbed his thumb across your hand, which send you heart into a race again.
You slowly let go of him, making an excuse to go wash the dishes.
After a while you looked behind you where he sat and said, “We also need some sort of a sign that you can easily show me, since you’re not really talkative when you get like this.”
Apparently he already used said “sign” somewhere, because he had it on the ready.
It was his hands clutching in fists, index fingers crossing each other in a form of a cross, pressed to his chest.
“Something like this. But don’t worry, I don’t think it’ll happen often. That would be really sad,” he laughed a little and then looked at you somewhat longingly and you averted your eyes back to the sink, nodding.
.
.
You almost forgot about that and now it all come flooding back.
Something terrible must’ve happened. You were panicking, but you had to stay strong, for him.
He was still standing in your hallway, with a crossed index fingers pressed to his chest.
“Okay, okay..” you mumbled more to yourself than to him, taking his hands into yours and looking him up and down.
He really seemed.. disconnected. It was kind of scary and you tried so hard not to think about what happened. Or about who died.
“Here, come with me, Diego,” you led him by the hand towards your couch as he was holding onto you, but his usual grip was gone.
You both ended up on a sofa and you really didn’t know how to act around him now, because.. he didn’t talk, didn’t look at you but when he did, his eyes were wide and big and he just seemed suddenly like a small boy to you.
Hopefully he won’t remember this tomorrow, you thought and tried to smile a little bit at him.
“Okay. Can you get your hands up for me, baby boy?” You’ve decided to approach this situation as if you were just babysitting an overgrown child.
Because nothing bad happens to children normally, right? And if you kept thinking about him as usual grown man Diego, you’d lose your mind in the process, wanting to scream and shake him by the shoulders until he spills you what happened.
Being Diego’s friend pushed you to new limits each day, truly.
He didn’t bat an eyelid at your tone change and word choosing, just obliging and putting his hands up.
You helped him to get his knives down and put his black turtleneck over his head, so now he sat shirtless right next to you, hands still smeared with blood.
Goddamit the blood!
You took him by the elbows and lead Diego to the bathroom, where you helped to get the red out of his hands. At the sight of blood dripping down into the sink you deciphered a whimper from him, even through the sound of running water and looked up.
Diego couldn’t stop looking down at his hands and tears were running down his cheeks.
You quickly took his face into your wet hands from the water and forced him to look away and lock his gaze with yours.
“Hey, don’t look at it, okay? It’ll only make you stressed. Until I’m done you can just close you eyes, okay?”
“Oh-okay,” he said and just closed his eyes here and there.
You sighed and tried to finish washing his hands as fast as possible, cursing under your breath pretty often.
“I’m sorry..” you heard him mumble and when you looked up, his eyes were still shut.
“Nothin’ to be sorry about.. We’ll talk about this tomorrow, right? Don’t worry. You’re safe now,” you smiled as you were already wrapping his hands in a towel and his eyelashes fluttered, eyes opening.
You stayed looking at each other for a second longer than necessary, but then you already lead him away to the bedroom area, where you actually tucked him in, wrapping in a soft blanket and then rushed to the kitchen, grabbing a few cookies and then leaving it on a plate next to him on the night table. 
 You almost made yourself comfortable on the couch, when he suddenly called out your name from the bed.
You sprung to your feet, thinking he’s actually hurt but you didn’t notice or that- “Can you... stay with me? P-please?” he asked, disrupting your train of thought. You did expect this, but still felt really shy about that.
Diego is vulnerable right now and does need your help and presence though.
And there wouldn’t be anything you wouldn’t do for him.
“Sure,” and after this simple answer you carefully climbed in next to him covering you both with a blanket and he curled up closer to you, almost immediately falling asleep.
From one point of view it felt like you wouldn’t sleep at all tonight, but from the other one.. you actually fell asleep just as fast as he did.
.
.
To nobody’s surprise you woke up first and actually flinched at the sight of sleeping Diego inches from your own face.
Your mind went running with ideas what happened and what’s going on until you realised the real deal and your brain caught up to yesterday’s shenanigans.
It was a wild ride and you were thankful that now it’s - most probably - over.
Your eyes were subconsciously scanning his face, until you realised what you’re doing, but you didn’t stop even then.
You’ve never been this close to his face yet and now you could admire and explore every part of it.
Having feelings for a friend that’s laying in the same bed with you at the moment is really not the healthiest thing that could’ve happened to you, huh..
You actually froze and your heart started racing billion times faster when you realised that you have a weight of his arm around your waist, pulling you closer from his sleep.
He grunted and his nose was now in your hair, shuffling a little to get more comfortable.
You had no idea how to change positions, especially when being held by such a strong arm as his and you got a feeling like Diego might actually wake up just about now, so the best solution that came into your mind was to forcefully close your eyes shut and pretend that you’re still sleeping.
He did, indeed, wake up. You were suddenly pushed to the other side of the bed, arm disappearing from your waist and a waterfall of curses fell from his lips quietly.
You used up all your acting stamina to make a believable scene of you gaining your conscious from the deep slumber that you were obviously in, stretched your arms for a good effect and finally opened your eyes.
You immediately signed up for a staring contest as soon as you looked at him and smiled a little. His face remained unreadable but perhaps a little bit flustered?.. But you may be reading too much into it.
“Hi,” you said with a higher tone than intended and Diego just nodded at that.
You tried your luck by addressing the elephant in the room right away, you never liked ignoring the problems that were always looming over you, “care to tell me what happened yesterday?”
He drew a big sigh and rested his head back on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling.
You couldn’t stop looking at him. At first because you really wanted to know the mystery, but the longer you looked at him, the more you realised that you’re just admiring the beauty that he holds, until his words fell like a dead weight right onto your shoulders.
“I found Eudora’s body yesterday. I couldn’t get to the place in time and someone killed her.”
What?
It felt like what he said was simply a trick of your imagination. You liked Eudora yourself, she was a very intelligent and an interesting person, you two often hung out and that feeling didn’t cease even after you found out that she and Diego started dating.
And even when they broke up some months after, you still found your way to spend time with her. So did Diego.
You wanted to cry, but thought that it might be insensitive towards him, because he was much closer to her than you were, so you tried to swallow your forming tears down.
“I’m.. I’m so sorry, Diego..”
“It’s your loss too, I know it, y/n,” he looked at you with much softer look this time.
“Come here,” he said a little bit hesitantly and opened up one arm towards you.
This was unusual, but maybe last night’s events tore down some walls?.. Who knows.
You almost threw yourself into his embrace and once your forehead rested on his chest, you started crying.
From everything, honestly. There’s been problems at work, your seemingly unrequited feelings for Diego didn’t help much either and now you learned that you lost one of your friends.
He started rubbing circles on your back, just letting you get those emotions out, while you two were hugging each other on the bed in your apartment.
And as you slowly started to calm down, he said a gentle, “it’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna be okay”
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the-demelza-robins · 3 years
Text
american high school!jily (iv)
oh hey! it’s chapter four! you can also read it on ao3 :)
part three 
JAMES’S GLASSES GET IN THE WAY. Lily should’ve expected it, should’ve known that when he’d backed her against the door, when he’d leaned down slightly to kiss her again, his glasses would bump against her forehead. He’s kissing her and she’s laughing, and she should be embarrassed, but this is James Potter and his glasses got in the way and he’s laughing, too, and they’re a mess and Lily can’t really think about anything except that Gretchen Prewett must be onto something, because she’s never felt this comfortable kissing someone before.
“How blind are you?” she asks, voice more breathless than she thought it would be (he’s kissing her neck, now, which probably has something to do with it).
“I’m nearsighted,” he replies, lips against skin. “Can’t see things far away.”
“In that case, I’m taking your glasses off,” Lily decides, reaching for them. Eyes. Hazel. Up close.
“At least take me to dinner first.”
Lily doesn’t glorify that with a response. She can feel the time running out, sand through an hourglass; there’s only so much left before she’ll remember what he did to Sev and he’ll realize that the sweater she’s wearing belongs to Roger; before Sirius unlocks the bedroom door and Marlene wants to go home; before the sun rises and the whole night is reduced to a dreamy haze. She takes his glasses off and tosses them onto a nearby chair, and then she kisses him again.
She’s only kissed two people before: Sev, once, in eighth grade — it was wet and gross and quickly extinguished any remotely romantic feelings she’d had for him. Then, tonight, Roger.
And now, James. Her hands are in his hair and his are pressed against her waist, under Roger’s sweater but over her dress, and his hair is so soft and he’s doing things with his tongue and the fire she felt earlier in the night is nothing, nothing, compared to this.
Just like that, he steps back. Just like that, the sand in the hourglass runs out.
“Lily?”
She takes a breath, tries not to stare at his lips (swollen) or his hair (thoroughly, thoroughly mussed) as she pulls herself together. “Yes?”
“Are you and Roger —”
Everything comes crumbling down. Her and Roger. What was she doing here, with James, when she’d finally gotten Roger? So what if James is a better kisser, so what if the look he’d given her after she’d kissed him for the first time made her stomach tighten? Roger was the one she wanted; had always wanted.
“We’re not together, not —” she swallows that last word, that yet, down.
James steps back, runs a hand through his hair. Crosses his arms. Grimaces, slightly, at the ground. “Okay.”
The room spins in time with her heartbeat. “I don’t know what came over me, I just —”
“It’s my fault,” he says, voice quiet, controlled. “My fault. I knew you always liked him, hell, I even saw you kissing him a few hours ago —”
“It’s not your fault,” Lily says wildly, unsure of what she’s trying to accomplish. “But — we can be friends, right? I’d like to be friends.”
This time, he looks up at her, a more genuine smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, and he couldn’t have actually liked me, Lily thinks, if he’s taking it this well. “Yeah. Friends.”
***
Lily wakes the next morning to a splitting headache and a text from Roger. It’s simple, straightforward (the text, not the headache): that was fun, we should do it again sometime, to which Lily responds, definitely.
Ignoring the guilt settling in her stomach — guilt for what happened with James, even though she hadn’t made any promises to Roger — she pops an Advil and resolves to keep her phone on silent for the rest of the day.
***
The Sideways Diner opens early on Sunday mornings, and it’s there that Lily finds herself a twenty minutes later, talking about the night before with the usual crowd. Alice blows bubblegum bubbles and refuses to eat anything, but still she orders a strawberry milkshake, if only to draw patterns in the whipped cream. Marlene, dressed preppily enough to go golfing, bears almost no resemblance to the tired, sad girl Lily had consoled last night; she smiles brightly, laughs, Sirius’s fever finally, finally broken. Dorcas, half-asleep, leans her head against Lily’s shoulder, legs dangling out into the aisle. Lily herself feels like she’s been ground through a trash compactor; though her headache has subsided somewhat, different moments from the night keep echoing through her head — Roger, smiling at her in the dimly lit kitchen, hand on her back as he’d kissed her; James, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else when he’d interrupted them; Marlene, soft, quiet, wrecked; James, again, and again, and again…
“James and I hooked up last night,” Lily blurts out, unable to stop herself. From the other side of the circular booth, Marlene’s mouth drops open, lip gloss framing a perfect O. Dorcas stirs against Lily’s shoulder, then sits up, forking some of Lily’s pancakes onto her own plate and grumbling.
Alice is the first to break the silence, raising her eyebrows. “Well?”
“What do you mean, ‘well?’” Lily asks, brow furrowing. “James. James Potter. The one I hate? I hooked up with him, and all you have to say is well?”
“I called it,” Marlene says, a hint of triumph in her voice as she sips her orange juice. “Literally right before it happened. I called it.”
“Was it good?” Alice pushes.
“We just — I mean, we just kissed,” Lily sputters, wondering how she’d managed to lose control of the conversation already.
Dorcas raises an eyebrow, then pokes Lily’s neck. “That hickey says otherwise.”
Marlene’s laughing now, and Alice joins in. “I thought you got with Roger.”
“That was earlier in the night, before…”
“Before you got mysteriously ‘locked’ in the master bedroom with your childhood enemy?” Marlene asks, raising an eyebrow.
“We were locked in!” Lily protests. “It’s an old house, and —”
“Oh, so you just had to make out to pass the time?”
“Well, I got pretty mad at him, and we were fighting, but then we realized we were stuck, and he seemed claustrophobic, so —”
“So you kissed him to make him feel better, obviously,” Alice jumps in, smirking. “It’s what any of us would’ve done. The most clear path forward.”
“I hate all of you,” Lily grumbles. “Besides, we agreed to be friends.”
“And what kind of friend would he be, Lily dear?” Alice asks, batting her eyelashes. “The one that leaves marks on your neck?”
Lily wonders, idly, if her friends will ever let this go.
***
On Friday, after a week of texting back and forth, Roger asks her out. They’ve just finished their last yearbook meeting, and as they walk down the empty hallway towards the parking lot, he says: “You going to the game tonight?”
“There’s a game?” Lily asks, though of course she knows what he’s talking about. She’s a bit too aware of the soccer team’s schedule, thanks to him.
He nods. “We’re playing Rosedale. You should come.”
Lily can’t help herself from blurting: “I should?”
He glances at her, expression hard to read. “Yeah. I mean, if you want to. It would be fun.”
Lily feels the vibrations of incoming text messages in her pocket; thinks of plans. Marlene’s plans, to go to the Dairy Queen and get drunk, maybe, or sleep over at someone’s house. Boring plans. Usual plans. The plans that will result in a few new Snap memories and inside jokes, but nothing more.
The possibility of the game stretches out before her, as long as the corridor they’re walking down. She could go to the game. Cheer Roger on. This thing — whatever they are — could actually go somewhere.
“What’s in it for me?” Lily teases, trying to tell her heart to stop beating so fast. Is he blushing? The fluorescent lights of the hallway, universally unflattering, make it hard to tell.
He forms his words carefully. “I don’t know. School spirit? Yearbook photos? Ice cream?”
Lily laughs. “Ice cream?”
“I mean, if you want, we could get some after.”
Lily’s practically beaming, and it’s so embarrassing, but she can’t stop herself. This is what she’s wanted. This is what she’s always wanted. “Okay. I’ll be there.”
***
The game starts at six, and it’s four thirty now. After Roger leaves for the soccer field, Lily calls Marlene, who screams in her ear and promises to meet her in the bleachers. Dorcas can’t come because she has a violin recital but she tells Lily, almost fondly, not to fuck it up.
“Love you too, Dorcas,” Lily says sweetly into the phone. Dorcas murmurs something similar — albeit in a much less friendly tone — and Lily wonders how she got such amazing friends. She’s about to find an empty classroom to do some work in when someone calls her name.
“Lily! Didn’t think I’d see you here on such a fine Friday evening.” James walks towards her, already in his soccer uniform.
Lily waves her ever-present yearbook camera. “I’m going to the game.”
His hand flutters over his heart, Northwood High’s colors — green and gold — splayed across his chest. “I’m shocked, Evans. Truly. What prompted such a dramatic change in behavior? Possession?” He squints at her. “Whoever’s inhabiting Lily’s body, riddle me this — what was her mother’s maiden name?”
“Lawrence. And I’m, um, meeting with friends. And taking photos.” It’s not a lie, but it’s not the whole truth. Some protective instinct, buried deep inside her, doesn’t want James Potter to be the first person outside of her friend group to find out about Roger — even if James had reverted back to his old self over the course of the week. It’s almost like Halloween night didn’t happen, and Lily is absolutely, one hundred percent sure that he never liked her, that the combination of leftover alcohol and claustrophobia was what drove him to say he wanted to kiss her, not some deep seeded longing.  
He runs a hand through his hair. “Keep the camera on me, ‘kay? I’m the star out there.”
“I’ll try,” Lily says drily. “Aren’t you supposed to be on the field right now?”
James shrugs. “I had to put my contacts in, and the locker room bathrooms were full.” He holds up his glasses, which he’d been carrying in his hand, and Lily’s struck by vivid memory: the way the glasses had dug into her forehead the first time he’d leaned down to kiss her; the way she’d tugged them off his face in a frenzy; the way his face, without them on, looked so vulnerable, even in the dark.
Just as Lily realizes she’s been staring for too long, James snaps his fingers. “Oh, I get it. This the part in the movie where the protagonist takes her glasses off, and the love interest realizes that she’s beautiful. I guess the genders are swapped for this one.”
Lily gapes at him.
“I mean, I thought you would’ve already realized how captivating my eyes are, Lily, but if this is what it takes —”
“Oh, shut up,” she snaps, color rising to her cheeks. She’s thoroughly humiliated, but she’ll be damned if she has to let him see that. “I’m meeting Roger after the game, okay?”
Now it’s his turn to stand stock-still, smug expression frozen on his face. He clears his throat. “Okay. Sorry. I was just joking, I mean —”
“No, I get it —”
“— knew we said we’d be friends, I was just teasing —”
“— it’s okay —”
“— crossed a line, and I’m sorry —”
“— you’re fine, James.”
He scratches the back of his neck. “Okay. Well… I’ll see you on Monday, then.”
“Good luck,” Lily almost whispers.
She watches as he walks away.
***
Northwood crushes Rosedale, 5-0. Roger is a solid wall, not letting a single ball into the net, but, if Lily’s honest with herself, James is the one behind the team’s success. Again and again, he scores; the stands erupting into cheers, his teammates patting him hard on the back. Lily snaps picture after picture, and when it’s over she joins her classmates in flooding the field, a crush of bodies and cheering and exuberance under the rapidly approaching twilight. The team streams out of the locker rooms a few minutes later. Lily searches for Roger amongst the sea of green and gold sweatshirts, and before she can find him, she makes eye contact with James. He’s glowing — cheeks still flushed from the game, hair flattened by the shower, glasses back on. For a moment, Lily swears that the pure energy radiating from him, the unfiltered happiness, makes him seem like a little boy again.
That last thought abandons Lily’s head as soon as she spots Gretchen Prewett running towards him. He lifts her off her feet, spins; not a little boy anymore. Something settles deep in her gut, and she turns away, not sure why seeing James happy causes such discomfort.
“Lily?”
She blinks; while she’s been off in her own head, Roger’s walked over, and now he stands in front of her, grinning. “Great job out there,” she says, not quite knowing what to do with herself.
Is he blushing? He’s definitely blushing.. “Thanks. I, um — wanna get ice cream?”
“Definitely,” Lily says, confidence rising. He’s nervous, too.
“Cool. I just have to say goodbye to everyone, and then we can go.” He holds a hand out expectantly. She takes it, realizing too late that this means she’ll have to see James one more time.
They weave through the crowd, shouted congratulations and praise following them as they move closer to where the majority of the team stands. Lily knows that people can see her and Roger’s intertwined hands, and the thought sends a thrill through her. “Davies,” Preston Fawley, right midfielder, shouts. “We’re going to James’s — wanna join?”
Lily looks past Preston and sees James, arm slung around Gretchen’s waist, talking to Remus and Peter. “What do you think, Lily?” Roger asks, looking at her with an unreadable expression on his face.
“I’m not really in the mood right now, can we stick to ice cream?”
“C’mon, Evans, lighten up a little,” Preston says, a glint of something in his eye. Whatever it is, it makes Lily want to stay ten feet away from him for the rest of her life.
Roger shifts his weight, hand growing damp in hers. “It’s her call.”
“Girls,” Preston chuckles, shaking his head. Roger returns the gesture uneasily and tugs on Lily’s hand.
“We’re going. See you around, Preston.”
“See you soon,” the other boy responds, and then they’re walking across the field, towards the parking lot.
“Preston’s a dick,” Roger says.
“You could’ve at least stood up for me,” Lily responds, “I mean seriously, what was that? ‘Girls?’ Like I’m not right in front of him?”
“With Preston, it’s better to just back away slowly,” Roger replies, a hint of humor in his voice. “Everyone knows he’s like that.”
“And no one says anything?”
“Trust me, it’s best to just leave him alone.”
“And have him spew condescending, borderline sexist shit like that — ”
They’ve reached the parking lot; Roger stops abruptly in front of a white Toyota. “This is mine. I was thinking we could go to the Baskin Robbins?”
Lily takes a deep breath — perhaps the subject change is for the best, anyway. She needs to remind herself why she’s here. Not to change the soccer team’s team culture, but to go on a date with Roger Davies. Smart, handsome, and her crush since freshman year. She pastes a smile back onto her face with minimal effort. “That sounds great.”
He grins back, and they’re off.
***
Lily orders mint chip; Roger takes strawberry. He pays — Lily protests only a little bit — and they sit at an empty picnic table. After a few awkward moments, they find a conversational rhythm. Between licks of ice cream, Roger tells her that his parents are divorced; that he wants to be recruited but is having a hard time getting scouts interested; and, now, that he really, really hates James.
As Roger launches into the first of many anti-James anecdotes, Lily wonders if this is what she sounded like whenever she used to rant about the boy. Surely she wasn’t so bitter, was she?
“… kicked the ball right from under my feet, then laughed about it…”
“Yikes,” Lily responds, wondering when this line of conversation will end. She’s finished her ice cream, and is getting cold; mid November means relatively nice days and lukewarm nights. She shivers, then imagines sending an update to Marlene, Alice, and Dorcas: never imagined i’d spend my first date with roger gossiping about james, but here we are :/. Marlene, Lily thinks, would be sympathetic but suggest changing the subject. Alice would tell Lily to just date James instead — as if that would ever happen, Lily thinks. Dorcas, no doubt, would advise faking an emergency and leaving. Lily does none of those things: instead, she sits, letting both Roger’s words and the cool fall breeze wash over her. She’s not excited, but she’s not bored, either; she’s comfortable, almost sleepy, sitting here. In fact, she could just doze off —
The sound of Roger’s phone ringing interrupts his monologue. He picks it up, and his eyes widen; after a few hushed words, he hangs up, then looks up at Lily apologetically. “I need to go to James’s house. We’re doing team bonding or some shit.”
What?”
“Preston says I should come, and it’s important that I have a good relationship with everyone, even James, in case a scout asks them about me, and —”
“You can go, it’s fine,” Lily says, and she finds that it is, truly, fine. She’s had a nice night; not a great one, but maybe first dates aren’t all they’re cracked up to be (or maybe Roger isn’t all he’s cracked up to be, she thinks, before dismissing the thought guiltily). Roger takes her hand as they walk back towards the parking lot.
“I’ll drive you home before I head over.”
“It’s fine,” Lily responds, knowing that Marlene would be happy to pick her up, if only to get the first scoop on what happened. “You should go.”
He stands, looking vaguely pained as he considers her words. “Are you sure?”
“Positive,” Lily replies.
“Okay.”
For a second, they just stare at each other. “I had a lot of fun,” Lily offers.
Roger’s leaning in, so slowly that she can’t be sure that it’s actually happening. “Me too. We should do it again sometime.”
“Definitely.”
He kisses her softly, and then his phone is ringing again. “Shit.”
Lily blinks, caught in an odd feeling of unreality. “Okay. Go. I’ll see you later.”
“Text me when you get home.”
“Right. Bye.”
He gets in his car and drives off, leaving Lily standing in the half-empty parking lot.
***
“Lily, can I ask you an honest question?”
Lily glances over at Marlene, who perches on the opposite end of the couch, mug of hot chocolate cradled in her hands. They’re watching Love, Rosie, Marlene’s favorite movie; two hours have passed since Lily’s date with Roger. “Sure, go ahead.”
Marlene inhales, as if about to jump off of some unseen cliff. “Do you even like Roger?”
For a second, Lily just stares at her friend, then: “What do you mean?”
Another careful breath. “Well, from what you told me about tonight, it didn’t really seem like you enjoyed hanging out with him. I could be wrong, of course. Please tell me if I’m wrong.”
“I don’t know,” Lily responds, testing the words out on her tongue. I don’t know if I like Roger. She can’t quite bring herself to say the words, to admit that defeat; doing so would abolish the one certainty that had lasted from freshman year to now. I don’t know Roger, she realizes. Roger is not who I thought he would be. “I liked sitting there. Listening to him talk. His life is interesting.”
“You find everyone’s life interesting.”
“I liked kissing him.”
“You’ll kiss a lot of people.”
“Why do you care so much, anyway?” Lily asks, suddenly defensive, defensive because  Marlene’s right; because Marlene knows her as well as Sev did; because life would be so, so much easier if she could bring herself to like the real Roger as much as she likes the Roger in her head.
“I don’t want you getting into your first relationship with the wrong person.”
“How do you know that he’s the wrong person?”
Marlene leans back, tilts her head back towards the screen. “I don’t. But I think that you do.”
Lily’s phone buzzes: a Snap from Roger, drunk already, Preston in the background. She sighs, turning back towards the TV. “I think you’re right.”
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cetaceans-pls · 3 years
Link
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types Relationships: Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Alfred Pennyworth Additional Tags: Momentary Vampirism, Discussion of Blood bags, Family Bonding
The one where Bruce gets turned into a vampire, and Alfred has to call in the cavalry to deal with him.
Or, Dick comes through on a Friday night to help wrangle a reluctant bloodsucker.
Bro I just kind of went off on the concept of short-term vampirism and silverware, so here’s some Alfred-Dick-Bruce bonding over Bloody Marys and the different sorts of magic. Please enjoy this pick-me-up I wrote in one weird, frizzy sitting!
On tumblr below the cut:
“I came as soon as I could!” Dick says, rounding a corner so quickly he skids on the marble floor. The text had come through almost an hour ago, but he had been on the tail end of a Zoom interview (quitting policing this pandemic has been both terrifically easy and terribly hard) so between putting on pants and getting through Friday-night traffic, this is how things lie. “How is he?”
“‘He’ is fine, Dick, thank you for concern,” Bruce says tetchily from where he’s sat in the centre of the Yellow Room, surrounded six foot deep by Wayne Manor silverware haloing out around him. The UV lights they use at crime scenes are blaring harsh violet lines around the perimeter, and further out by the edges of the room, 6 of their portable sun lamps are turned off but trained right on him.
“This is all pointless,” Bruce carries on, sweeping his arm ‘round wide in a grand gesture, hissing when a brush against a silver-plated serving trolley has his hand sizzling. “Alfred really shouldn’t have called you.”
Dick ignores him completely to turn to Alfred, who has 3 sets of rosary beads hanging around his neck and irritation hanging from his eyes. “Uhm. I didn’t read further down the text than ‘B was attacked, please come over when you can’. I’m guessing I missed something?”
“You would be guessing right, Master Richard.” Alfred whips off a rosary and hangs it around Dick’s neck, and plops three teaspoons into a blazer pocket. “We aren’t sure quite who is to blame for this latest conundrum, but Batman was struck down by something while making rounds by the Cathedral. Master Bruce appears to have become a, a…” Alfred makes a disgusted noise, “a vampire of some sort, and had insisted I lock him up in a cell till a magic-user from the League could come by and take a look.”
Dick’s ashamed to admit that on hearing the word ‘vampire’ his fist had curled tightly around a teaspoon. After all, the bluntest edge can still manifest as a shiv, if you shove it in hard enough. He’s further shamed that Bruce clearly catches his micro-movement, and he just downright  hates the pleased look B has at knowing that Dick is open to bodily violence against him.
Part of the commute time to get back to the Manor almost always involves him psyching himself up to deal with Bruce, and today it looks like it’s going to pay off.
“Okay, got it.” Dick deeply doesn’t, but bluffing can be as important as actually understanding, so. “Why’s he being kept here instead?”
“No master of the Manor,” Alfred says the way a lesser man would say ‘No son of mine’,”will be tossed into some cell while in full possession of himself, thank you very much.”
“I was going to start an automated protocol to have myself manacled and emergency-signal Superman to come by and potentially put me down,” Bruce interrupts from the near distance, “but I was lured here and now I’m trapped.”
Dick catches himself halfway through a laugh; he can’t help it. If Bruce really, really wanted to, escaping this room with its myriad hazards and shining lights would be possible, especially if the situation was so urgent that he was willing to risk serious injury for it.
If Bruce really,  really  thought he was a danger, thought deep in his messy little heart that he really, really could hurt or injure Alfred while it was just the two of them here waiting for reinforcements, Dick knows he would have grabbed the silver steak knife closest by and, ah, taken matters into his own hands.
It’s as ingrained a response as Dick instinctively putting himself between Bruce and Alfred even while his brain was still catching up to sudden vampirism, shiv-spoon (shvoon?) at the ready.
He lets out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding, untenses muscles that had been ready for something awful since the text had come through. “You’re finally more bat than man, B, so don’t bother pretending to be upset.” Dick spies a tray laden with soup and bread on a little coffee table and heads over, giving up guarding Alfred because their much scarier guard dog has just sprouted fangs. “Oh, man, tomato soup and garlic bread? Alfred, you think of everything.”
“I do try,” Alfred primly says, clearly satisfied that Dick is on his side. “And if you could see your way clear to getting Master Bruce to also partake?”
“I said no, Alfred!” Bruce’s voice cracks like sudden thunder across the room, and it would have been mighty terrifying with its slight unearthly timber if the UV lights bouncing off forks didn’t make the room look a lot like a rave. Even with his eyes starting to turn red, even with the harsh edges of his shape blurring into mist, Bruce can’t quite manage to intimidate.
Everyone in the room knows that it’s just for show, now, so even paranormal powers manifesting doesn’t slow down Dick’s enjoyment of soup. “C’mon, Bruce. It’s just like a blood transfusion, except you take it through the mouth. We all routinely take worse things through the mouth.” Just last week Dick had crunched on something while eating a bowl of soggy cereal he’d accidentally left out overnight, and the certainty that it was some sort of super-armoured cockroach haunts him till this day. “Is it a supply and demand thing? You can have some of my blood bags, Alfred can take some out of me while I’m here.”
“What an excellent suggestion, Master Richard. My blood has unfortunately been turned down because Master Bruce has some spectacularly backwards thoughts regarding older folk, but surely there’ll be no complaint for yours.”
“There are plenty of complaints!” Bruce roars, now up on his feet and pacing in the little circle at the centre of all the silver. “I  will not eat anyone’s blood, I will stay in this space and meditate until Zatanna shows up and cures me. There is a magic user zapping vampirism into people in Gotham, and  none of this  will be solved by you sticking an arm under my teeth!”
His fangs are all the way out now, down almost to his chin, drawing scratches on stubbly skin. Under the native environment of the Bat, out in the night perched somewhere high, he’d be a terror.
Under the warm loving light of the Yellow Room, under the warm loving gaze of people who know him best, he’s more ‘angry hissing kitten’ than anything else.
Dick slurps the rest of the soup, and mops up the rest with the crusty bit of his garlic toast. “So, if it was me that got turned into a vampire, you’re telling me you…  wouldn’t  IV pump me full of blood fresh out your veins? If you lie to me I  will  throw a teaspoon at your head.”
There’s nothing but a mutinous quiet from Bruce, who’s huffing and misting and snarling and floating a good three inches off the ground. Good, at least he’s not feeling so pressed to the edge that he needed to lie.
“… I’ll take my own blood.”
Alfred sniffs, and it’s a dignified sound that somehow echoes in this fairly large room. “After your little altercation with Dr. Ivy last week, sir, your own supply is running unfortunately low. Two bags left, and I intend to keep them in case coming out of vampirism treats you poorly. No, sir, you’ll have a mug of Master Richard’s blood or so help me God I will tranquilise you and feed it to you myself.”
Alfred catches himself mid-rampage, and huffs a little while neatening the cuff of his shirt. “Those are your choices, sir. Pick one.”
Reading the room, it’s easy to tell that the hour it took Dick to get here from Bludhaven has likely been filled with that sort of tersely-worded bitching that Alfred and Bruce have down to the finest art. “A couple of pints of blood, Type D, coming right up. Bruce, I’d recommend just giving up right now. If Alfred works down the line, Jason’s coming in next, and that’s gonna end with a fist to the mouth.” Dick brushes crumbs off his hands, and jumps out of the crouch he’d been in on the arm of the sofa to head towards Alfred. “No one’s getting out of that without a broken finger or fang or both, so just take mine, okay? For us.”
Bruce doesn’t deign to actually say  yes  or  fine , just seems to fade into shadows he’s manifesting himself, but it reads like a grumpy acceptance of defeat.
 Good enough , thinks Dick. “Give us a sec, we’ll be right back. If you’re extra good, I’ll even make a Bloody Mary out of mine!”
Batarangs aren’t made of silver, but they sure do make a flashy  thunk  when they bite into a doorjamb a clean 10 feet away from the nearest person.
Alfred huffs a quiet laugh but Dick is much louder and substantially more insulting as they make their way down to the Cave.
-
The blood fridge is a thing of stainless steel tucked in a corner of the medbay, and it’s covered in magnets. The Wayne brood travel a lot, but Bats and Birds travel even more. It’s become a weird habit that got adopted like kids get adopted ‘round here; Dick looks at a cracked dinosaur magnet he’d bought at the Bludhaven Natural History Museum his first night out as Nightwing, and nostalgia hits harder than teeth in the neck. “We’re gonna need a bigger one of these soon, Alfred. We’re almost out of free real estate.”
“We shall persevere nonetheless, sir.” Alfred opens the fridge, and goes along the top row till he gets to the little placard with Dick’s face on it. The filing system remains sweetly, sweetly old-school, even if everyone knows where theirs is stored by feel alone, and each bag is barcoded with enough details to alarm even the most dedicated phlebotomist.
Looking over the racks, Dick whistles. “Bruce isn’t the only one who’s had a rough time recently, huh? Tim didn’t mention that the last Titans’ fight got him two bags down.”
For that, he gets his ear flicked. “Don’t snoop, Master Richard, it’s unbecoming.” Alfred takes a bag off Dick’s shelf and pops it into a cooler bag. He closes the door, and heads to the kitchenette in the Cave where he scrounges up a little metal straw. “Thank you for coming by so quickly. I was at my wits’ end trying to convince him to have just the littlest nibble. He tried to keep himself locked in the Batmobile when he came back via autopilot.” Alfred rinses the straw with more aggression than necessary. “I tugged on the handle, and the door was locked. A door, locked to me! In my own home!” He sounds as incensed as Alfred ever does, but he also goes to grab some tomato juice and a couple of sticks of celery, just in case.
“You wore him down for me, Alfred, I had it easy.” Dick quietly grabs another couple of bags of his blood, because deep deep down Bruce isn’t the only one hesitant about feeding on family, looks like. “Surprised you’d turn to me for this, though. Seems like more of a Tim thing, have him over with a 50-slide presentation on why vampirism’s really not that different to CPR, or something.” He swoops by Alfred’s side and picks up the cooler bag and the bucket of ice, because there are a lot of stairs from the Cave back up to Yellow, and kind men deserve kind things done on behalf of their creaking knees, thanks very much.
“You certainly have a point, Master Tim can be alarmingly persuasive with his statistics and, ah, unblinking stare.” Alfred doesn’t acknowledge Dick helping him with his things, just looks a little glad to have a hand free to hold on to the handrail, which is acknowledgement enough. “However, I have to admit that when I am at my wits’ end with Master Bruce, I always want to turn to you, Master Dick.” He pauses at the top of the stairs, turns and smiles his neat little smile at Dick who is finding balance harder to maintain than usual. “You have kept me company in my never-ending fight to care for Master Bruce longer than anyone else, after all.”
(Longer, longer, longer even than Bruce’s parents, God love them both.)
Alfred reaches out, pats Dick’s hand and nimbly reacquires his wares. “Do not under any circumstance tell the others, of course, but an old man is allowed his favourite ally.”
Dick is a whole-ass adult who’s lived through more things than people 15 times his age, he’s dressed in a smart suit and tie after an interview for a position as a flight paramedic, and he’s helped ward off the apocalypse at least on three separate occasions.
He knows enough about enough to know that their vampire-magician is deeply, deeply outclassed by Alfred’s mastery over spacetime, because right now Dick knows that if he looks down at himself, he’ll be 9 years old again, wearing oversized pyjamas as he tries not to cry because it’s his birthday and Alfred had made him a stack of pancakes the size of his head, while Bruce skulks by the door holding five separate tubs of ice cream, looking uncomfortable and uncertain and bound and determined to be a responsible parent
(like he’s bound and determined to be a responsible vampire).
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Dick murmurs under his breath, rubbing his cheek to break the spell.
“Language,” Alfred’s voice floats back towards him, as they make their way back to the Yellow Room.
-
There’s a bit of a scuffle, trying to get Bruce to actually drink the blood. When Dick had casually tossed a bag at Bruce, it had been batted right back at him like the world’s weirdest opening to a game of ping-pong. Another fight almost broke out then, because at least a third of all of Gotham’s collective stubbornness was sat in the room at that point, but Dick managed to force through a resolution by making a Bloody bloody Mary for Bruce, and regular Bloody Marys for himself and Alfred.
They sit where they want, Bruce in his circle, Dick perched on a windowsill, and Alfred on the sofa, and they sip at their meticulously non-identical drinks. They’re on their third round of Bloody Marys and sweet idle conversation when the message comes through that Zatanna’s on her way, and the tension in the room drains as smoothly as they do their drinks.
“Ah, what perfect timing,” Alfred says like he hasn’t worked his way through an alarming amount of vodka. “Just in time for a really early breakfast.”
It’s 3 AM, and hopefully after unraveling vampirism Z will be interested in some god-tier chicken and waffles. Dick’s stomach is already rumbling, and he’s in an unspeakably good mood. It’s a trinity of trinities, three generations of Wayne and Wayne-adjacents, three Bloody Marys each, it’s three o'clock in the morning.
There’s a father, a son, and Alfred counts as their Holiest Ghost, probably. Funny that Bruce has to become unholy to make Dick feel gently religious, though that might be the vodka and dreams of fried chicken futures. “How’re you feeling, Bruce?”
Flushed with blood, Bruce looks healthier and heartier than he does on average, which is a fight to tackle a different night. “… Better,” he admits, digging a fang into a celery stick with an expression of deep concentration. “I could fly if I tried, I think.”
Dick whoops, and nearly drops his glass. “It’s that vitamin D, bay-bee.”
It even earns a chuckle from Alfred, and Dick can feel god in this Yellow Room tonight. “I think,” Dick says with utmost seriousness, “that being a vampire is a good look for you, B. Feels good to get you something, even if it’s just a drink.”
Feels good to be able to provide for you instead of the other way ‘round, is something a more sober Dick would think.
From his corner, Alfred raises his glass in a steady-handed toast. “Just a drink is plenty when just a drink is all you need. So here’s a toast to you, Master Dick. Thank you for coming to our rescue.”
In the middle of a sea of silverware, Bruce raises his glass too, and oh, now Dick’s the one gone red in the face.
“Any time,” he says, and he’s glad to know he means it. “Honestly, this makes me feel like B should get turned into a vampire more often.” There’s a lot of magic in the Manor tonight, and only the tiniest fraction of it has to do with their rogue magician. Dick can’t remember when he last spent this much time with just Alfred and Bruce, and it feels like a loose anchor digging in juuust right.
The world’s in turmoil and his personal life has seen better days, but there’s a tether that comes off from the Manor and these two men. Sometimes, it’s a noose.
More often than not, it’s a lifeline, and what a fine feeling it is to know that that goes both ways.
Dick doesn’t know what’s showing on his face, though by how Bruce is now sat up and intensely staring at him, he’s probably revealing way, way too sopping much.
Bruce clears his throat, and his flush deepens into a rosy, rosy red. “Well. As being a part-time vampire does have its advantages, it’s. Hmm. I will discuss it with Zatanna, and see what I can do.”
And geeze, time-travel magic must be inherited too because Dick’s been forced back to his 9th birthday again, to Bruce Wayne-the-literal-Batman hovering uncertainly while holding way too much ice cream as he tries to accommodate Dick in that stupid, awkward, and hideously embarrassing way only he knows how.
“I’ll toast to that,” Dick says, ignoring the terrible scratch and crack in his voice, and he and Bruce both only nearly lose it when Alfred raises his glass again, and
quietly, quietly
murmurs, “Here’s a toast to my family”.
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