#jesse eisenberg imagine

[theaawalker]

Delusional | Lex Luthor x Fem!OC [1-Shot]

Pairing: Lex Luthor x Rose Holloway Song Inspo: Delusional by Simon Curtis Word Count: 2,433 Summary: desperate to get out under her tyrannic mother's corporative thumb, executive secretary Rose Holloway submits an application for an opening at LexCorp. Much to her surprise, she is asked to interview the next week. The pay is pretty good, and this Lex guy couldn't be as awful as her mother. What could go wrong? Warnings: mild mentions of parental abuse Masterlist: see fandoms (pc-friendly)

Last thing I remember from my dream was having to tell my angry mother the news about my job. That was enough to get me awake. I scrambled around in my covers and opened my eyes, squirting as the light from the curtains hit my face. At first, I just closed my eyes to block them from the sunlight. But then I realized it was morning, and I forgot to set my alarm last night! I was going to be late on the first day!

I pushed my covers off my body and climbed out of bed, ignoring my slippers that awaited my feet. I looked at my alarm clock, and, as if taunting me, it read 12:21 PM. I grabbed my already ready work attire and took a quick shower. I put on my clothes, did my hair, applied some makeup (not too much, because I don't wanna look as desperate as I was), and brushed my teeth. Into my mall closet I went, searching for some shoes to go with my outfit.

I did my best to fix myself a nutritious breakfast. Nutty bars seemed like the way to go, but they get stuck in my teeth. The last thing I wanted was to be humiliated on my first day - I hadn't felt like that since high school. I managed to make due with a glass of orange juice; just when I put the cold glass to my mouth, a car honked outside. I groaned to myself, knowing who it was, "Mom."

Rushing out the house, I barely remembered to lock the door. I hadn't told my mom about my application for LexCorp, so I knew she was gonna drive to her building instead. That meant I had to somehow sneak past her and make it to LexCorp in time. It's not that far... I hope. 

I swung my business bag around my shoulder and got to the car. Only it wasn't my mom's car. It was... nicer and more modern. The windows were tented so I had no idea who was inside. I didn't know what to do, so I sorta stepped back. The window suddenly rolled down, revealing a face I had known for my whole life.

"Mary!" I squealed with delight, and relief.

"Get in." She ordered. "Or you're gonna be late." I had told her about my application. Well, I told her not to tell our mom about the application. "I can't thank you enough, Mare Bear." I said as I hopped into the nice vehicle. Mary looked at me as she took the wheel.

"You can start by not calling me Mare Bear, Nose." I had to smile at that. She and I call each other cute names sometimes. She calls me nose because, apart from my lips, my nose is my most dominant feature.

"Hang on, little sister." She said, pulling out of my driveway. "LexCorp, here we come."

(Time Skip - At LexCorp Parking)

Butterflies fluttered in my thin stomach as we approached my future workplace. It was so weird; seeing it on the computer was one thing, but being there was another. The building looked so full of purity, energy, and technology. I started to wonder if I could really help improve it. I mean, I wasn't anything more than a secretary of a fashion magazine editor. Also, I had no idea if they'd even accept me. I knew that my mom would hire me because she knew me, but this Lex Luthor probably didn't even know I existed until last week.

"Well, here we are. LexCorp Industries." Mary gave an introduction. I released the sigh I'd been holding in since we pulled up. "Aren't you going in, or...?"

"What if I'm not good enough, Mary?" I blurted out my worry. Mary gave me an eye roll and held my shoulder. "Look. These guys may have worked here longer than you but that doesn't make them better. For all you know, by this time tomorrow you could be doing all their jobs. Besides, any treatment you get is better than mom's." She had such a good point. It was either this or back to being paid to be yelled at by your mom. 

"Okay," I finally said, "I'll-I'll do it." She gave me a nod, and I nodded in returned. We leaned in for a hug, and she wished me luck one last time. I bet was gonna need it. I can't focus when I'm nervous, and when I can't focus I screw things up. But there was no way I was spending another day at that fashion hell. So I picked my bag up and got out of the car. 

Mary waved at me as she drove off. I waited until she was out of sight, and slowly spun around to face the building again. It looked so massive and complex. This may sound weird, but it kind of terrified me. I shook if out though, and marched toward it with a high head.

Inside was not much different than the outside. People were scattered everywhere, and they all looked worthy of being there. One lady walked past me wearing all black with the coolest haircut. I touched my rough, brown hair to find it a plain straight. I never thought I'd say this but I wish I had a rubber band right about now. The place wasn't crowded, but it was far from being empty. 

I looked around for any clue to where Lex's office was. I had an interview with him in ten minutes and I couldn't even find him. I decided to ask one of the employees. I walked further into the work hall until I saw something out of the ordinary. There, in the middle of the room, about six men were playing basketball. I tried to process an excuse for what I was seeing. 'Maybe they're testing their body maneuvers for a video game?' was all I could think of.

Basketball or not, they didn't look as intimidating as everyone else. So I walked up to the court and tapped on the shoulder of closest one, who appeared to be in the middle of shooting.

I cleared my throat.

"Excuse me." He turned and smiled at me. He had strawberry-blonde locks that curled by his jawline. His eyes were blue and playful, and reminded me of two blue balls. He was shorter than me, but only by about an inch. "Sorry to interrupt your game, but I was wondering if you knew where Lex Luthor's office is." He gave me and odd smile.

"Hm. You must my new secretary. How are you? Lex Luthor. Welcome to my little LexCorp." The man held out his hand to me. I looked at it, and, ever so hesitantly, shook it.

Raising an eyebrow, I asked. "You're Lex Luthor?" He odd smile turned into a cheeky one as he giggled.

"Indeed I am. Alexander Luthor Jr., in your presence." He said, slight bowing his head. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't confused. He looked so young, way too young to be running a business. "I'm sorry, I'm confused. You look so..."

"Young? Well..." he turned away for a second to throw the through the hoop. "Age is just a number, correct? And there are infinite numbers to compare to mine, so there's no use in trying to be any other."

I just looked from him to the net and swallowed. "I guess that sounds right." 

"Great! Hm. Yes, yes. You are here for the job." He said, eyes darting down in remembrance. "Executive secretary if I recall." Before I knew it he had his hand on my shoulder blade, and we began walking down the hall to I-have-no-idea-where. But I simply nodded and played along.

"Um, yeah. I used to work as one at my old job."

"Old job, mm? Might I ask where?" I didn't bother looking at him to answer, I just kept my head forward. And judging by my sight, we were headed for an escalator. "Nowhere special. Just a stupid fashion magazine corporation." I scratched my forehead as we boarded the escalator. I let Lex go first, being as though I had no idea where to go beyond the escalator.  The rising staircase made my body feel like it was lifting by itself.

"I see," Lex said. "That explains your chose of clothing décor. Anyway, tell me- Wait! Silly me. I forgot to request your name." He addressed, stepping off his step and placing his foot on the smooth, white tile floor. I copied his movement and we returned to our original pace.

The hallway was all white, and filled with white doors. Any one of those could be mine. All I had to do was get an interview with Lex. First, we had to get to his office.

"My name's Rose. Rose Lee Holloway." I offered a kind smile, one which was returned.

"Rose. Hm." His eyes darted up in thought. "The Latin origin of rose, a flower name from Rosa." He looked back at me. "Did you know the Normans brought Latin to Britain in the 11th century?"

I shook my head. Lex just put his hands in his pockets and stared ahead. "Are you interested in alien studies and research?"

"Um, no. Only what I read on the news about Superman. But do find the fact that one is living here funny."

This made Lex chuckle. "How do you mean?"

"I mean, an alien protecting a species that's not his own just makes us look inferior. Why should we rely on a humanoid destructor rather than weapons of defense? It just sounds dumb."

Lex snapped his finger and pointed at me. "Exactly, Rosie. May I call you Rosie?" 'If I get this job he can call me anything he wants.' I thought.

But I simply replied, "If you want."

We reached the end of the hallway, where, to our right, sat a giant silver door.

"Follow me." Lex led us down the pathway and opened the giant door for me. "In you go." I slipped past him and almost tripped when I saw Lex's office. That place was like two master bedrooms in one giant space. There were chairs in there I've never seen in my life! And that's saying something since my mom used redecorated our living room almost every year.

I was so in shock that I didn't even notice Lex walk past me to his desk chair. I strolled to the front of his desk and sat in small chair, where Lex was seated on the table. He grinned at me, making me even more nervous. We both knew what was about to happen.

"Humor me. What got you interested in this position?"

"I've had previous experience with executive assistance, such as memoing, filing, answering phone calls, and prepping schedules. I also dabble in digital art, so if you need any promo or posters, well, I'm your gal." I chuckled nervously, and he just stroked his chin. "Ahem. I admire what this company has done for the ecosystem repair in other countries. Between partnering with other green companies and philanthropy fundraisers, it- you have really great work." Then it got quiet. "...yeah."

Lex leaned forward, knuckling his silvery desk's edge, and looked into my soul. He studied every inch of my face, my eyes... my soul. It was like he was trying to read my mind. When he got his answer, he exhaled.

"Hm." His lips twitched. "Hm-mm, yes. You have the gaze of a woman on the run." Lex said softly, almost sorrowful, like a therapist. "A lioness, mm, trying to strike out of the pride, make it on her own. Tell me, dear Rosie, who-oh-who are you running from?"

My head drew back and I nearly gulped. Was this man actually telepathic? Either way, he seemed to have me figured out. There was no use in denying it further. If honesty got me a job, then honesty it'll be. I just wish it wasn't such a sore subject.

"My mother." My tongue suddenly tasted foul and acidic. "She's not a very nice mother. Or boss."

"Mommy issues," Lex gestured to me, "meet daddy issues," he gestured to himself, making us both chuckle weakly. I supposed it made sense, hurt child meets hurt child. I wondered to what extend his father hurt him, but put off the question as taboo for an interview.

"Anyhow," he leaned back and continued, "mind if I ask you some professional questions?" He asked, making a yuck face as the word 'professional'.

"Yes, go ahead." I straightened my posture.

"Alrighty. How did you like the building so far?" That was not the question I expected him to ask first, but it was his company. 'Get hired, Rose, get hired.' I cheered myself on.

"Ummm... It's very detailed and finely organized, Mr. Luthor. It's techy but also really chill. Just feels like a good environment people-wise." If my resume didn't cut it maybe sucking up to him would. But he just waved it off.

"Please, call me Lex. It's only fair since I'm calling you Rosie." He had a point. "But does it look like the kind of place you want to work at?"

I looked around the spacious, flawless, white room and sighed. Such a long way from that undersized, secretary desk my mom forced me in.

My pitiful eyes found Lex again. "Very much."

Out of nowhere, Lex suddenly clapped near my face. "Fantastic! Then congratulations, Ms. Rosie. You're hired!" I had to clear my ears to make sure I heard him right.

"Wait, what? I'm hired?" He just nodded like an excited child. "But what about the interview?" I asked, still not understanding his reasons behind hiring me. He bent from his spot on the table to open up a drawer beside his legs.

"That was the interview, my dear Rosie. It began from I first introduced myself." He then pulled something out of the drawer; a red cylinder candy, and offered it to me. "Jolly Rancher?" I gave a clearly puzzled look, raising my eyebrow. "It's cherry." He offered again. 

With nothing to lose except my job there, I accepted.

"Okay." I smiled tightly.

But instead of handing it to me, Lex leaned in to put it in my mouth himself. For a second, I felt his cold, steel fingers brush on the tip of my lips before departing. Then he licked those fingers and smiled from ear to ear like nothing happened.

Being the kind person I am, I gave the smile back. He might have been a bit odd, but I had a feeling Lex was gonna grow on me.

#lex luthor#dc#bvs#imagine#imagines#DC imagines#dc imagine#lex luthor imagine#lex luthor x reader#lex x reader#lex imagine#bvs imagine#batman vs superman#reader insert#reader#xreader#fandom#multifandom#request

[greguette]

i’m gonna be reacting to everyone’s intros at the funeral like it’s endgame

[upsidedownwithsteve]

Miss Emmy! I’m loving the new soulmates fic!!! 🥹 I was wondering though if you would ever do another au like camp or simmer? They’re my absolute favourites and I just love how they were so immersive and played like a movie <33

you’re so sweet, thank you so much! 🧡

and god, i’m almost afraid to say cause i doubt it’ll come to anything any time soon, but— i do. you know the movie adventureland with jesse eisenberg and kirsten stewart? I’d love to write an au with that kind of vibe and plot, 80s theme park that’s real shitty and run by a bunch of twenty somethings who only wanna get high and hook up and maybe fall in love.

I think I’d lose the creepy cheating ryan reynolds plotline though? but URGH imagine the graphics, I have hearts in my eyes. park map, game shack signs, theme park tickets, you know what I like…

[frownyalfred]

I don't know why but I kind imagine Lex from Smallville when reading, like... the soft talking, the subtle manipulation, the jokes about killing someone (although I don't think he says it joking hehe) but then he has his red hair ahah isn't interesting that everytime is showed Lex Hair is always a long red hair? I think I never seen a version where his hair were short. Even in Smallville his hair when he was little were long, just like his dad hair :)

There's something about his hair being a metaphor but I'm too tired to find it...something about him losing it before becoming "Lex" in viewers minds is important. Red soft long hair as a symbol of youth? Innocence? Etc?

I just think it's very interesting how red hair works on some people and not on others, especially men. Jesse Eisenberg's pale skin really makes it work somehow. He almost looks too pretty with it, which is why I'm guessing Snyder made sure to shave it off at the end.

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

~incorrect quotes cuz idk what I’m doing with my life lmao~

=======================================================================

Mass: I hate you with every inch of my body.

NY: Pfft- that’s not a lot of inches.

=======================================================================

NY: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute f*ckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges

============================================

Florida: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

============================================

Georgia: Oh, fiddlesticks. 


Texas: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the f*cking language.

============================================

Texas: Truth or dare? 


Loui: Truth. 


Texas: How many hours have you slept this week? 


Loui: 


Loui: Dare. 


Texas: Go to sleep. 


Loui: I don't like this game.

============================================

Gov: You remind me of the ocean. 


NY: Because I'm deep and mysterious? 


Gov: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.

============================================

Gov: Why would you think any of this was a good idea? 


Loui: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. 


Gov: 


Loui: You literally bought me. I don’t know how you keep forgetting this-

============================================

Mass: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

============================================

NY: *playing Stray*

~a lil while later~

B-12: *is f*ckin’ dead*

~a lil while later*~

Cat: *does the slow blink before leaving the place where B-12 died*

NY: *jaw drops slightly as tears run down his face* What the f*ck man?! I-is this h-how it ends?!

*credits pop up*

NY: NOOOO!!-

============================================

Loui: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

============================================

Delaware: Why do you fuss over them like they’re three year olds? 


Connecticut, exasperated: WHY?!? 


Connecticut points at Mass: HE TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR! 


Connecticut points at NY: HE NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK! 


Connecticut points at NJ: AND HE ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND! 


Connecticut , turning back to Delaware: AND YOU ASK ME WHY???? YOU LITERALLY GREW UP WITH THEM- YOU’RE ONE JERSEY’S BEST FRIENDS YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS SH*T!

Delaware: Ok ok calm down I was just asking-

============================================

California: Hey, can you do me a favor? 


NY: Sorry, I have to go do literally anything other than this. 


California: You don’t even have a legitimate reason? 


NY: Oh, no, I do. 


California: Well, what is it? 


NY: You see, I simply don’t give a f*ck.

============================================

Florida: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo? 


Mass: ICARUS?!

============================================

Loui: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am- 


Gov: A doll. 


NY: A cinnamon roll. 


Florida: A sweetheart. 


Loui: 


Loui: *blushing like an anime girl* ...stop it-

============================================

(HUGE cuss warning ⚠️)

Mass: Hey, Yorkie? 


NY, playing a video game with the squad: What? 


Mass: Can I share something with you from earlier today? 


NY: Wh- what is it, Mass? 


Mass: Well, I sent you a text early in the morning. 


NY: Mhm. 


Mass: Because I have to go out of town for a weekend this month. And, so I was like- I won't give specific dates, but I was like, I don’t need this kid panicking again cuz he has no idea where tf I went.


NY: Yeah? 


Mass: Your response. 


NY: *trying not to crack up* 


Mass: At 9:30 in the morning. 


Mass: "motherf**king Jesse Eisenberg jesus Christ motherf**king Facebook movie jesus can you believe this sh*t" 


NY: *laughing* 


Mass: No- no- no punctuation. Random capitalization. 


NY: You just made me dieeee hehehehehe... 


Mass: So I respond, "I have no idea what we're talking about right now." 


Mass: 45 minutes pass. I get a text from you. 


Mass: "goddamn created Facebook and frickin’ lawyers and sh*t right f**king winklevoss twins goddamn rowing the boat f**k yo sh*t i cant even f**king believe this sh*t have you seen this sh*t f**k I just watched this sh*t f**k Jesse eisenberg man" 


NY: *wheezing with laughter* 


Mass: I respond "York, you're scaring me." An hour passes- 


Mass: You respond, "motherf**king spiderman Spiderman you put in the time f**k put in the time motherf**king built stuff with his bare hands friggin’ best friend sh*t jesse eisenberg" 


Mass: "im very tired" 


NY: *struggling to breathe* 


Mass: And- and I'm just like, "No- no worries, kid, I'll- I'll do most of the talking at the meeting today-" 


Mass: IMMEDIATE, like, response, like I'm talking 5 seconds later, 


Mass: "no man ill just talk all day crap man you have to be so interested in the sh*t I have to say about the Facebook movie f**k dude I just watched it a year and a half ago f**k Jesse Eisenberg man he f**ked over Spider-man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent Resin or did the soundtrack f**k this guy who invented Facebook I don't like dying I can't think of who the heck invented Facebook All I can think is who played the guy who invented Facebook who the hell invented Facebook" 


Mass: And then, in all capital letters, two hours later, 


NY: *falling over with laughter* 


Mass: "MARK ZUCKERBERG."

NY: *is a squeaky giggly wreck on the ground now*

Mass: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SLEPT BRO-

============================================

Mass: Why do you hang out with me? 


Loui: You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me! 


Mass: … 


Mass: I feel a bit sorry for you.

============================================

NY: What’s up? I’m back. 


California: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead. You got shot three times and stabbed 5 times. 


NY: Death is a social construct.

============================================

Georgia: Can we go to a haunted house? 


Loui: What’s wrong with the one we live in? 


Georgia: Wh-what? 


Loui: Goodnight, Father.

============================================

Loui, holding a knife: You know you’re talking a lot of sh*t for someone who has 2 perfectly good eyeballs each cost about $16,000 on the blackmarket. 


Alabama: *I’ve never heard silence quite this loud*


Loui: *smirk* That’s what I thought. *gets up and walks away twirling the knife like the bada$$ b*tch he is*

Alabama: *gulp*

Texas: Woooo buddy- I know your life just flashed before your eyes huh?

Alabama: Y-yea….

============================================

Gov: What did you two do? 


Loui: 


Florida: 


Gov: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

============================================

Loui: You can de-escalate literally any situation by asking ‘are we about to kiss?’ 


Loui: Doesn't work with getting out of speeding tickets, though.

============================================

NY, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it- 


Kentucky, whispering: Should we call the exorcist? 


Loui, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick. 


Georgia, appalled: Call the exorcist.

============================================

NY: Mass is off at an appointment, so while he’s gone, I’m going to cut the sleeves off all of my shirts. 


NJ: Why? 


NY: He’s like 90% of my impulse control.

============================================

[connerluthorkent]

I know it’s not the most popular interpretation of the character (although I’m in a minority that enjoys it), but I have to say it is my full believe that the absolute funniest version of Lex Luthor to interaction with Battinson would be Jesse Eisenberg’s version from the Snyder ‘verse.

Just imagine Bruce getting cornered by Lex at some fundraising gala for helping rebuild Gotham in the aftermath of the Riddler that Bella Real barely managed to strong arm him into going to in the first place. Lex just manically chats his ear off about how little Bruce gets out and how thrilled he is to finally be making this connection, how he’d love to team up on a project with Wayne Enterprises, gleefully talking a mile a minute before launching into some nonsensical aside about gods among men and the cryptid-vigilante the Batman. He literally will not stop talking, all while Bruce’s expression makes it clear he would rather be physically drowning in the punch bowl than listening to another second of this conversation.

[bohemian-nights]

Saw some people say Ellora Torchia (who was in caceres n only follows liv & kieran bew n that’s why i think it’s slight bs + she’s shooting a film w a culkin brother & jesse eisenberg) might be Netty & i’m just 🥴

Lol, I’ve seen that 😒If she’s in HOTD she’s more than likely playing Sylvenna Sand the lover of Essie(who is the mother of Gaemon Palehair allegedly one of Aegon’s bastards). So it makes sense that she’d be in Caceres since that’s where they filmed the Kings Landing scenes.

Now if people think she’s legitimately Nettles and they think she’s the woman in this picture🙃:

I feel like I’m repeating myself at this point, but it can not be said enough because this fandom has a hard-on for imagining Netty as anyone but a Black woman. So much so that they are actively hoping that they put a non-Black woman in Black face to play a Black woman🙃

The woman in the above photo has Afro hair. If these idiots legitimately think HBO would put an Indian woman in an Afro wig to play Netty rather than hiring an actual Black woman and get 0 backlash from it then they are even more moronic than I thought 🤷🏽‍♀️

And before some other idiot try’s to say her hair is just fried it’s not an Afro🙃:

Compare Netty’s potential actress's hair to the blonde woman’s hair. Blondies hair is frazzled, but they didn’t kink it up to show she’s been through some things. You can still tell that she has straight hair. So no they aren’t kinking up straight hair. It’s point-blank Afro-textured hair 🤷🏽‍♀️

[quackoyesyes]

I imagined jesse eisenberg and andrew garfield got together in a film again and they had a scene where they ice skated on a frozen lake and jesse revealed that he was a really good figure skater (he has been training since he was young)

[mycenaae]

truly the proof of people joining this site later than i ever imagine is that so many people weren't here for the collective madness that was the social network era. it was like the dancing plague in here. and to be clear jesse eisenberg and andrew garfield's fucking chatroom interview did not help matters one bit.

[webshood]

im not the biggest henry cavill or BvS fan, but I absolutely adore jesse eisenberg's luthor, because that man would 100% raise Connor and act as if he and supes are exes

he would publicly talk about a boy he meet and how they were high school sweethearts, he can talk for hours about how in love they were and how luthor was so excited to have their own biologically engineered child, but then his sweetheart left and now he's raising their kid all by himself

the media completely eats it up

he so would act like supes is a deadbeat dad and say shit like " Connor my son, I'm so happy me and your other father didn't have a custody battle, I can just imagine he having you for the weekend and leaving you all alone, just so he can go fight crime"

"papa, normally he's fighting your goons"

"it would still be neglectful of him"

or shit like, billionaire bruce wayne just adopted some street rat and luthor is pissed off because this made Bruce's popularity skyrocket so he makes sure to contract a paparazzi for Connor's school apresentation and when Connor has a meltdown because of all the noise the newspaper is filled with photos of him comforting Connor

[adamwatchesmovies]

Now You See Me 2 (2016)

I’m sure the cast of Now You See Me - well, everyone but Isla Fisher, who bowed out of this sequel (actually, she was too pregnant to film, but I'd like to think she saw the first movie and said "Nope!") - were excited when a follow-up was greenlit. Writer Ed Solomon? He must’ve been sweating bullets. Now You See Me 2 is so convoluted it hardly makes any sense.

18 months after framing Thaddeus Bradley (Morgan Freeman), ruining Arthur Tressler (Michael Caine) and escaping the FBI, “Danny” Atlas (Jesse Eisenberg), Merrit McKinney (Woody Harrelson) and Jack Wilder (Dave Franco) are fugitives waiting to see what Dylan Rhodes (Mark Ruffalo), their leader and connection to the mysterious organization known as “The Eye” will ask of them next. Joined by Lula May (Lizzy Caplan), they're asked to expose corrupt tech CEO Owen Case (Ben Lamb). When their mission goes wrong, the Four Horsemen are strongarmed into stealing a data chip by criminal mastermind Walter Mabry (Daniel Radcliffe).

Now You See Me is a film that crumbles upon a second-watch, or even a first if you have a keen eye. On the sponge-like foundation, we’re now attempting to build another film. Jack Wilder faked his death. He, and everyone else, ditched their world-renowned personas as magicians to partake in some vendetta they had no association with. Their lives are essentially over, so what's next? No wonder they're thrilled about joining “The Eye”, a niche secret society that recruits stage magicians to combat crime. I bet they've got a long lineup of applicants with those restrictions.

Anyway, the plot kicks off when the Horsemen meet Walter Mabry. He wants them to steal a microchip that’s the size, weight and consistency of a playing card. If there was anyone in the world that could manipulate an object that size while being frisked by guards, it’s them… and that’s exactly the problem.

As a picture featuring magicians, Now You See Me 2 has the same issues as the first: the tricks aren’t being performed live so there’s no wonder in them whatsoever. You know any screw-ups have been edited out or erased via computer. None of it is the least bit impressive. Like before, there’s no shocking reveal about sorcery and real-life incantations. The whole thing is nothing but a series of tricks - tricks people in this film should be able to see right through if the movie didn't constantly cheat.

If we look at Now You See Me 2 as a heist film, it also fails. Primarily because the “big score” is tossed in the middle of the movie and goes off so easily it’ll make you roll your eyes. This microchip they have to steal is passed from one person to the next over and over, and so effortlessly no human being alive, not with a million years of practicing could do it. The Horsemen? They hardly break a sweat. The key to any good heist film is that no single person is good at everything. The pickpocket can’t do the demolition. The demolition artist can’t drive the car the way the getaway driver can, etc. You might not be able to picture yourself as Danny Ocean, but you might recognize a bit of yourself in Frank Catton. You might not be Ethan Hunt… but you could imagine being chosen as Benji Dunn. Who are you in Now You See Me 2? You’re not even the bumbling FBI agent.

The film is edited in a way that makes actions nonsensical and character motivations just as puzzling. The Horsemen are insufferable so you don’t care whether they succeed or fail and all wind up with their heads on pikes. In theory, you might’ve gotten slightly attached to Lizzy Caplan - who is a great addition to the cast - but there’s so much going with the random storylines that eventually tie together (unsatisfyingly) that there’s no time to flesh out any of the characters. They’re just pieces moving in a Rube Goldberg machine that’s merely over-complicated instead of being over-complicated and entertaining/hilarious. Director Jon M. Chu cast Woody Harrelson in two roles and still leaves the audience feeling like he didn’t do anything in the entire movie.

Now You See Me 2 is a living contradiction. It lacks any innovation, which should make it predictable… but it leaves so much money on the table it'll bamboozle you more than once. It’s dull to watch but fascinating to talk about and dissect. With his association with the Harry Potter franchise, Daniel Radcliffe proves to be an inspired bit of casting but he’s awful because he isn’t the least bit intimidating. The movie makes no sense but goes to great lengths to assure us that none of what we saw was sponsored by sorcery and witch’s cauldrons. It’s a great heist film for people who are kind of dumb. (January 28, 2022)

[nan0-r0t]

please info dump to me about your randy headcanons, i love the way you characterize him

Im super pleased this is my first ask it is funny to me. But no YES im actually very exccited i love talking about randy anyone whos seen me in phonecord knows how much of a tangent i can go off on about him.But this is just Headcanons so i will contain.

>I hc randy as a mixed latino guy! Mexican and spanish. But he's not super knowledgable about his culture and his ability to speak his language is poor. I imagine he learns a lot from Norm who I hc is from mexico seeing ... Vaqueros

>Pre op transbi guy (hence the big clothes). I imagine he was on T prior to his accident, went off of it following, and went back on after getting on his feet again.

>He has adhdtism and this one i feel STRONGLY because he's like actually.coded for both.i can literally make it its own post. General lack of social approach, difficulty making connections, how easy it is for him to get sidetracked/distracted, stuttering being a symptom of adhd, "strange" posture. I could go on

>I hc randy likes to draw! Its a big thing of mine that he likes to doodle in the notebook he takes notes in.

>Firm believer that randy isnt tall and lanky but instead Short and chubby. You won't catch me drawing him tallskinny and hairless. He is 5′4

>Chronic pain sufferer following his tbi. A little hc ive never talked about here is the idea of randy getting a support dog following his recovery, and i always imagined oliver bein the one to get it for him :J

>We already know randy is emo as shit and likes music like green day and mcr But i looove the idea of him liking mexican punk/rock music and mexican music in general. It is special to me

>I hc randy to be a chew stimmer hence why he has holes in his shirt collar but ive been forgetting to draw them lately. DOnt ask how this works with a phone im not really sure

>This is a general dialtown headcanon but Cord tails! I give all electronic object heads cord tails. Randys is a nokia charger.

>I hc him to be very fidgety and stimmy in general which is reflected in game (him making repetitive motions when excited/under stress ((scene where you ask him on a second date + scene where the mugger is threatening you))) Hes just very. Movements

>When it comes to outside my own drawings i hc he expresses himself with emoticons on his phone screen :J

>Randy voiceclaim is Jesse eisenberg or Wally wolordaski (Kylie) tbh First one i jive with the most though.

Most of the rest of them are really small details like stims i hc he has or little interests.But these are !! Generally my biggest ones. A lot of these are projection because i am Disordered He is very dear to me i lvoeoeeeee randy I should post one of my randy analysis things here sometime just to make sure everyone knows. Fun fact i wrote.like 99% of the randy wiki and did it in a Sitting but at the same time thats why his is so extensive compared to everyone elses im sorry dt nation

[frownyalfred]

okay but curiously, i don't read sky of honey at the moment (i plan to) but what do you imagine lex luthor looks like while writing a sky of honey? i know this is based on BVS where jesse eisenberg plays him but is there someone else you imagine playing him?

I definitely imagine Jesse Eisenberg in my head! Thin, pale, with red hair and a very expressive mouth.

[susiecarter]

thank you so much for your wonderful reply to my ask about the wips!❤️ please believe me when i say i’m patiently looking forward to ALL of them! (especially the gq/croc eggbaby series omfggg!!! plus the superbat sequels and top gun big bang aaaaa!)

now i can’t lie, i am constantly eyeing ‘bvs was Bruce Wayne’s kinky coma dream’ because that line alone makes me madly curious! so if i had to pick one idea that i’d LOVE to know more about, it’s definitely that one! thanks a lot again for indulging me!!! ❤️

:D And you are too good to me, anon, I can ONLY HOPE they're each worth the wait in the end! <333 (The eggbaby series is totally growing a plot on me, which I'm praying does not careen out of control. :'D And the Superbat sequels will probably take me the longest, just FYI, but I hope the guarantee of the Top Gun Big Bang makes up for that! :D)

... Honestly, I sometimes forget that not everyone in the entire world has been witness to the great struggle that is BvS Was Bruce Wayne's Vaguely Kinky Coma Dream. :'D Basically, it's pretty much what it says on the tin: fresh out of the theater after seeing BvS for the first time, I found myself pretty firmly convinced that the theatrical cut of that movie makes a hell of a lot more sense if it's Bruce having a strangely prescient, kinky dream than anything else.

Consider the following:

The original theatrical cut of BvS had noticeably less of Clark's POV than Bruce's; the Ultimate Edition has several additional scenes of his investigation of Batman + Lois putting the pieces together and realizing he'd been set up to fail at the Capitol. Without knowing that, though, and having only seen the theatrical cut, I felt like Clark's side of the narrative was weirdly insubstantial, and he seemed a little extra distant, uninvolved, arbitrarily deciding to fly around all stonefaced and threaten Batman ... not unlike the way Bruce might plausibly see him/imagine him to be, in other words.

(Except, that is, when Clark's talking to his mother, and suddenly seems genuinely troubled, more real, warmer; as if, even doing his best to strip Superman of any humanity, Bruce can't manage to imagine a son talking to his mother without some whiff of love and meaning and comfort involved. ;-;)

I have no reason that I know of not to like Jesse Eisenberg, and he's a good enough actor that I'm confident he was doing exactly what he was directed to do, as well as it was possible to do it ... but if BvS is Bruce's dream, it makes fifteen times as much sense to me that Lex Luthor is so blatantly Joker-inflected! Like, of course he is; when Bruce's brain has to generate A Villain, naturally it goes straight for "clearly unhinged, laughs too much, desperately obsessed on a personal level", you know?

(Also, Bruce's kinky brain being in the driver's seat makes Lex delighting in having Clark on his knees on the roof actually secretly a matter of Bruce assuming everyone must want Clark on his knees and dreaming accordingly, which doesn't hurt anything. :'D)

Even in a dream, I don't think Bruce could ever go as far as giving himself the chance to save his own mother; that is both too self-indulgent and too implausible, and he'd reject it as unreal in a heartbeat. The best his subconscious can do is put somebody else's mother Martha in danger, and let him rush in and save her instead. ;-;

The blatant plot U-turn of "oh wait Superman was never the enemy! HANG ON, HERE'S A CONVENIENTLY WORSE ENEMY, let's team up with Superman to beat him!" also makes more sense to me if Bruce, like, needed on a subconscious level to beat Superman up, to prove to himself that he could, but never actually wanted to kill him. Therefore, as soon as he'd pulverized Clark to his own internal satisfaction and indulged the desperate urge to drag Clark around by the throat and put his boot on Clark's chest and (nearly) ~impale Clark his subconscious was soothed, and free to say "okay, now that we've worked through that, we can be friends with Superman, no problem :) let's save the day together!"

HOWEVER, Bruce is still Bruce! There are no true happy endings, in BvS!Bruce's head. The best his brain can do is let Superman die a hero, so Bruce a) was right to have changed his mind about him, b) never has to interact with him again or actually deal with/do anything about any of the shit he was working through via a half-hour-long kinky fight scene where he got to watch Superman gasp for breath in the rain on his knees, and c) gets to dedicate himself to doing right by Clark's memory (and he might, might, even mentally allow himself some hope of success, with Diana there to help).

Obviously this still leaves plenty of stuff to finagle! Why is Bruce's dream so long, so involved, and so weirdly accurate on certain points? I decided the obvious answer to this was my favorite answer to everything: the ship.

So BvS Was Bruce Wayne's Vaguely Kinky Coma Dream became an AU premise that approximated a time-travel fix-it, in which Bruce Wayne was badly injured during Black Zero (along with plenty of other people), and the ship detected that and connected itself to him (along with plenty of other people) to keep him suspended in an unconscious state while it repaired him. Bruce's kinky brain was driving, cast Clark as the villain until it didn't anymore, flavored everything with Bruce's impressions and expectations ... but the ship used its own data to supplement and stabilize the coma dream until he was physically ready to wake up again.

Which is to say: the ship knows Clark's name and Clark's mother's name, even though Bruce couldn't. It knows about kryptonite, even though Bruce wouldn't, not right at the end of MoS. And it also knows about its genesis chamber, its ability to create things like Doomsday if required to, and, of course, Apokolips—which means the Knightmare ALSO suddenly makes sense, not as Bruce being precognitive? being sent messages from an alternate dimension? who tf knows! but as the ship, aware of the actual Space Threat out there, trying to insert that Space Threat appropriately into the narrative ... only for Bruce's ridiculous stubborn subconscious to shove Clark right back into the middle of the Knightmare, still the bad guy. :'D

ANYWAY, yeah, so then Bruce was going to wake up from his Vaguely Kinky Coma Dream, having experienced BvS and his whole arc of coming to the understanding that Superman's not the villain inside of his own head, and knowing Superman is Clark Kent on top of it, and knowing the actual Lex Luthor is out there, possibly an issue, possibly intending to steal Zod's body and make Doomsday. And he himself would also have JUST EXPERIENCED Clark's death and Clark's funeral, and would be wanting, more than anything, to try to make sure Clark doesn't die this time. And he'd already be three-quarters in love with Clark, while Clark has absolutely no idea who the hell he is or why he seems to know random things about Clark/Kryptonians/the ship or why he seems so weirdly preoccupied with and sad about and protective of Clark–

I have had several thousand words of this thing drafted for literally years now. However, when I first started working on it, I didn't know shit :'D and all I had to go off of with Diana was BvS + some early WW trailers where her movieverse powerset wasn't totally clear. So I wrote some stuff that turned out to make no sense, and then stalled out trying to decide how I wanted to fix it, and then JL came along and gave me a new angle on where the plot should maybe go, and and and ...

... yeah. I've reworked bits and pieces of the outline several times, I finally have a pretty good idea how I want the full story to turn out, but I still haven't actually nailed all the pieces down in order, redrafted the early beginning sections, or, you know, written the rest of the darn thing. :'D

Anyway! That got super long, I'm so sorry, I don't blame you if you noped out of that about halfway through :D but yeah, for all the time that's passed, I'm still really stuck on the idea and still really enamored of everything I worked out about what to do with it and how I wanted it to go, so. I am definitely hoping to one day finish what is literally the first fic I ever started writing in this fandom. /o\ :D

[didthatbeautymakeyou]

jesse eisenberg is so good at being absolutely insufferable. just fantastic at playing the saddest sack of shit imaginable