#jrr Tolkien

[allythistle]

‘GET OFF THE ROAD - QUICK!!’

Heylo darlins! This is what I’ve been working on this week.

Next up, Bilbo, as per the results of my last poll :D

[thelien-art]

Elrond Peredhel; in Imladris

Elrond Peredhel, in the Second age, in the newly established Imladris which stood finished in S.A. 1700 Of the Sun (1697-1700)

[akzgaj]

Spring in Mirkwood.

Thranduil.

Gouache on paper.

[ihobbit]

Today is April 27th. On this day (2941, the Third Age of Middle-earth) the hobbit Bilbo Baggins left the Shire with the company of Thorin Oakenshield and the wizard Gandalf. The adventure begins! 

[silmarillion-ways-to-die]

Regular fandom Tumblr: Do you think your blorbo would fuck my blorbo?

Silmarillion Tumblr: Do you think your blorbo would betray and murder my blorbo in the name of Morgoth the Marrer of Middle-earth?

[call-me-cosmic]

Gandalf is Gan-done

[winwin17]

Incorrect Quote Poll

[velvet4510]

I mean, I love Bilbo, but he IS canonically an unreliable narrator.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Bigfoots

Brian Keene: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of crazy bear valley Keene: so these no-good outlaws are on the run from the law Keene: but Keene: they take a wrong turn Keene: into danger King: what kind of danger? Keene: bigfoots

Keene: its a no holds barred war to the death between cowboys and bigfoots Keene: cowboys, of course, have the advantage of intelligence and speed, as well as firearms Keene: but the bigfoots have the numbers

Keene: these bigfoots might just tear these cowboys to pieces Bram Stoker: oh but cowboys! Keene: whats the matter bram? you kill your cowboys all the time! Stoker: yeah but Stoker: i dunno, its different

King: how big are the bigfoots? Keene: eh pretty normal bigfoot sized, i'd say King: really? i expected they'd be bigger King: what about their feet? Keene: oh well, yeah, their feet are big Keene: like duh Keene: obviously

King: wait are their feet big compared to normal feet or big compared to bigfoot feet? Keene: normal King: so big compared to our feet? Keene: yes i Keene: you know the feet aren't really central to this story

Keene: ok so back to the story King: wait a second is it bigfoots or bigfeet? Poe: obviously, it's bigfoots Barker: what? that's insane edgar. it's obviously bigfeet King: no no i think edgar's right on this one Lovecraft: that doesn't make any sense Keene: so back to the story

Robert E Howard: howdy pardnas Keene: 2 Gun Bob! King: it's 2 Gun Bob! Lovecraft: 2 Gun Bob! Barker: 2 Gun Bob! Poe: whoa 2 gun bob! Stoker: OMG! 2 Gun Bob! Koontz: 2 Gun Bob! Howard: i reckon i got somethin' to say on the matter

Howard: when a cowpoke is a-ridin' through bigfoot country, he's gotta have his trusty six iron on his hip Howard: cuz ya might gotta wrassle some varmints Keene: you sound like you've had some experience with this Keene: with fighting bigfoots Barker: you mean bigfeet Keene: no

Howard: now if me an' my boys tangled with a posse of bigfoots, we'd give em a taste of the ol' pea shooter Keene: yeah but see, there's a lot of bigfoots Keene: way too many to shoot Howard: i ain't a-bothered, i'm a fast draw Howard: [twirling six shooter] possibly the fastest

JRR Tolkien: hello lads King: JRR Tolkien! what are YOU doing here? Tolkien: well i head something about Tolkien: BIG FEET Tolkien: big HAIRY feet perhaps? Tolkien: big hairy SMELLY feet? Tolkien: big gross hairy smelly feet with fur????

Keene: the story's not about big feet, it's about bigfoots Tolkien: Tolkien: oh Tolkien: how big are the bigfoots feet? Keene: normal sized Tolkien: normal for us or normal for bigfoots? Keene: you know what i'm just gonna call them sasquatchs going forward

[cantsayidont]

Gandalf describing why he selected Bilbo for Thorin's quest, in version B of "The Quest of Erebor" (UNFINISHED TALES, 331):

That pointed at once to Bilbo. And I had known him once very well, almost up to his coming of age, better than he knew me. I liked him then. And now I found that he was "unattached" — to jump on again, for of course I did not know all this until I went back to the Shire. I learned that he had never married. I thought that odd, though I guessed why it was; and the reason that I guessed was not the one that most of the Hobbits gave me: that he had early been left very well off and his own master. No, I guessed that he wanted to remain "unattached" for some reason deep down which he did not understand himself — or would not acknowledge, for it alarmed him. He wanted, all the same, to be free to go when the chance came, or he had made up his courage. I remembered how he used to pester me with questions when he was a youngster about the Hobbits that had occasionally "gone off", as they said in the Shire. There were at least two of his uncles on the Took side that had done so.

Uh-huh.

[lupa-lunae]

My Smaugbo Valentine's Day card in action, showing how it moves.

[the-red-butterfly]

For a short time I'm doing these little sketches/doodles for about $5 dollars. Here's the original post in case you're interested -> Little Sketches

These are the first two I've made, for @secretlythranduil and @wombatking Thank you so much guys!

Doing things in a more quick and lazy stile is actually pretty fun, so this was great ✨ Alas, I tend to want to make everything A Thing. Lol

.

Open for Commissions

[enbymetalhead]

Sometimes I forget that Blind Guardian and The Silmarillion were created seperately, and not for the sole purpose of producing the best concept album ever made.

[invisiblewashboard]

The fact that Tolkien realized he’d created inconsistency for LotR with the first published version of The Hobbit and then retconned it with the in universe explanation of “Bilbo is a liar,” is never going to stop being both equal parts brilliant and funny.

[atrustfulplace]

imagine: you are chilling in front you your house getting high. along comes an old family friend who you last saw when you were six, you are now in your 50s. after a brief convo where he is kind of a dick to you, he’s like damn you’ve changed :/. and your like yeah bestie it’s been five decades why the fuck are you here. he leaves. later that night a shit ton of people show up and trash your house. just throw and absolute rager. halfway through the family friend from earlier shows up. he announces in full earshot of everyone that he wants you to come with him to rob a bank. you of course say wtf??? one of the people who broke into your house calls you a pussy. another person shoves you a contract which declares if you get shot robbing the bank they will not pay for your funeral. you pass out. when you wake up you find the contract on your table and your house almost completely back to normal. you stare at the contract for a moment and decide, fuck it this is just as a good a midlife crisis than anything.

this is what happened to bilbo baggins

[mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware]