#julian devorak angst

[monsterbunny69]

Julian devorak x Gn!Reader smut part 1

18+!

Context: you and Julian have come up with an agreement where if he has a sex dream you are allowed, and have his consent to, wake him up by giving him a hand job or blowjob. Tonight is the night you finally get to execute this.

Hehe

Mc’s POV

Stir awake after feeling Julian toss and turn a few times in his sleep. I sat up, thinking it was a nightmare at first “jul-“ I begin to call his name and set my hand on his shoulder before I am interrupted but a low, desperate sounding moan. I freeze, not knowing what to do. He shuffles again, laying on his back now. I debate waking him up to ask what he was dreaming about because I know if he’s having a wet dream he’ll be very embarrassed~

Instead I decide to slide under the blankets, planting myself slowly and carefully between his legs. As I do this I hear him moan again, a little louder this time. I have the blanket covering me up to my neck so I don’t get cold. I set a hand on his left thigh, trailing it up his shorts that he slept in. His skin is flushed pink and warm, his breathing is picking up a little. I finally look down at his crotch and see his bulge pressing against the fabric. I bite my lip a little and reach up, beginning to stroke and massage his hard on over his pants. His dick twitches in his shorts as I palm it, drawing a breathy moan from my sleeping lover. I stroke him with a good grip so it feels like he’s fucking something, which causes him to jolt his hips forward into my hand. I’m glad he is a heavy sleeper because it’s interesting to see how his body reacts to my touch without him being awake to suppress its urges. I don’t stop stroking until I see drips of precum staining through his shorts. I stop the movements of my hands and slowly drag his shorts and boxers down his pale thighs so he won’t wake up. I sigh a little, knowing what I’m about to do will wake him up eventually. I watch as his dick twitches, leaking precum onto the shirt he slept in. I look up at his sleeping face, it’s flushed and there’s a bead of sweat on his forehead. Whatever he is dreaming about has him really fired up. I scoot a little closer to Julian, gently grabbing his erection and wrapping my lips around the head, sucking and licking on just the tip to test the waters. My actions cause him to let out a loud groan and I freeze, not wanting to wake him just yet. Once he settles again I start bobbing my head, sucking his dick all the way down to the base. He thrusts his hips forwards again in his sleep, so I pin him down, hands gripping his thighs. I don’t mind if I leave bruises on them, Julian has a thing for marking. Then I keep blowing him, speeding up. He is moaning a little with each dip I take and eventually his eyes flutter open, and I catch him staring at me with half-lidded eyes and desperation. “G-good morning to you too” he says, biting his lip and arching his back straight after. I try not to smile as I keep his hips pinned and my lips wrapped tightly around his twitching cock. Now that he’s awake his hands are gripping the bed sheets beside us and he’s moaning as loud as he feels like it- which is pretty loud. His moans are music to my ears and motivation for me to keep giving him the best blowjob I can. “Ah! Mc-“ he cuts himself off with another moan, back arching off the bed. I abruptly pull away from him, licking my lips. He whimpers and locks eyes with me “t-that’s not fair” he huffs, letting go of the bed sheets. I knew he was getting close, and I want to make him beg for it. “You know what I need from you first” I say, doing my best to be intimidating. He huffs, I can watch the gears turning in his head as he tries to decide whether he wants to be a brat or obedient. I cross my arms and give him a look, he knows I won’t let him cum if he’s a brat. Julian locks eyes with me and almost immediately softens his gaze and slumps back down on the bed “please make me cum” he gives me the same half lidded look as earlier, a red blush dusting his cheeks. I chuckle at him “good choice~” I reply, grabbing his wrists this time and pinning them by his sides. He’s avoiding my eyes now, embarrassed by how turned on he is. Instead of jumping right back into blowing him I lean down farther this time and place kisses on his thighs. I stare up at him while I do this, causing him to swallow and stare at me in awe. I then bite into one of his thighs hard enough to leave marks, causing him to moan loudly, balling his fists. I smirk and continue to bite along his thighs, leaving behind bruises and hickeys. When I’m done I look up at him. He lets out a shuddering breath and shuts his eyes, leaning his head back against the pillow. I remove my hands from his wrists and place them on his hips again.

[13percival]

comfort character getting comforted...

\\implied ship\\

tbh this is a v3nt

[soltaven]

“typewrite lesson” trend from tiktok owwwch

[to-the-stars8]

Twin Flames

Asra x MC Summary: The final argument that results in Asra leaving, and you all alone.

“There is a ship leaving in an hour,” Asra said, eyes panicked and pleading. “Come with me, it is all I'll ever ask of you again. For me.”

At one point, Asra could have asked you for the world, and you would have given it to him. Now, as you looked at him, you decided not. There had been too many lonely nights thinking over the same broken promise, and you would not fall deeper into his pit of distant love. 

Yet, you knew that, if you came to it, there would be no worry. Asra would take care of you, and the two of you could lay under a tree in a foreign land in each other's arms. You felt dread at the thought. It was a tragedy that all the hope in the beginning had come down to disappointment and frustration. It exhausted you, wearing your mind thin. As it did his. You could see it, the way the weight of your distance and separate desires carried him down. 

Sucking in a breath and averting your eyes, you listened to the silence of the city. It once bloomed with excitement, and it had been so loud that it made you feel alive. Then, the plague had swept through so fast, killing it. It made you want to stay despite your love’s cries to run. Whether you desired to save the constant excitement so you would feel a little less alone, or the good nature you liked to think you had, you did not wish to know. 

“Leave if you must,” You said. “But do not ask this of me.”

Asra’s eyes were filled with tears, but he refused to acknowledge them. He shook his head. “Please, you have to—For me. You forget that you promised to always be with me.”

Anger tore through you. He dared to say that when he left you alone so often. Scoffing, you stepped away from him as you were afraid of what your rage would make you do. You began to cry, and a thousand curses passed through your mind. You wanted to hate Asra, to be able to cast him aside, but he had loved you so well and deeply despite the shortcomings. 

“You—” You sucked in a breath. “You cannot expect me to uphold a promise you never kept.”

“I have asked for your forgiveness a thousand times, and will do so a thousand more if you wish.” Asra looked ready to beg on his hands and knees. “You must come. People here are dying like flies, and will die before I let you suffer the same!”

“Then I hope we burn on the same pile of bodies so we will never part again,” The words did not feel like yours. They were heavier, darker. 

You regarded one another silently before Asra could no longer hold himself up. He collapsed onto the couch, head in hand. You did not move toward him. 

“Please,” Asra whispered. “For me.”

“You are selfish,” You said. 

Asra looked like a kicked dog, but your sorrow and anger would not allow any pity. No, you almost felt justified to hurt him, as nasty as it felt to admit. Either way, he did not deny your words. “You are not the only person in this city. I can help people here—I have the means to.”

Asra stood again, rushing to you with arms out and palms up, confused. “And what then, hm? If you find the cure do you think Lucio would let you be regarded as the hero?”

“No! How can you not understand?” You faced him now, eye to eye. “These are our friends! People that have been part of our lives for years—”

“Damn them all! None of them matter if they are not you,” He cried, grabbing at you desperately.  

“You would say that of Muriel? ” You yelled. 

Asra scoffed before turning his back on you. On his shoulders Faust curled tight around him, unused to her master’s anger and yours. “You know I did not mean that. I have offered for Muriel to come with us, but he is safe outside the walls of the city.”

You did not wish to say he was right, so you quieted. Wiping your eyes, you let your anger finally resolve and reach for him. When your hand met his shoulder, Asra jerked away, eyes turning to narrow onto you. 

“Asra,” You said. “I am going to stay. Leave, it will give me comfort to know that you are safe. My heart will always be with you. Please know that.”

His face was like stone. Unchanged from the hate that was plastered on his face from the moment he turned to you.

“I wish I had never met you,” Asra gritted out before rushing out the shop door. 

Your love for Asra gnawed painfully at your stomach. It yearned to call out for him. Beg for his forgiveness. Forgive me, you wanted to say. Forgive me for the choices I want to make, and do not hate me for it. 

You didn’t know how long you stood there staring at the door. Though, by the time your senses had returned the night had turned into day by then, an orange hue coming into the shop through the stained glass window.

Still, you did not move as the sun's rays poured into your corner of the world. Compared to before, it seemed so small. Almost suffocatingly so. And, now the shop was quieter than you thought possible.

[leighsartworks216]

Death Bed

Julian Devorak x gn!Reader/Apprentice

I transcribed almost an entire chapter of Julain's route just for this 💀 I want the Apprentice to react more when they find out they died. Like, THEY DIED let them cry about it

Title from "death bed (ft. beabadoobee)" by Powfu

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, crying, mental breakdown, coming to terms with dying, death, spoilers for Julian's route

Word Count: 1,395

Masterlist

AO3

“So… um, so.” Julian shifts a book in line with the rest, fiddles with the fraying edge of the spine, and slides it back out to shift the order around some more. “Well, it worked. I met the Hanged Man, got the rest of my memories back, got my cure, and…” 

He scratches mindlessly at the pressed together pages, brow furrowing. It’s like he wants to look over, but knows doing so would make what he wants to say even harder.

“Listen, uh, just stay calm and listen to me, okay? I found out that… that…”

His mouth opens. Closes. Opens again, before he bites his lip.

You take in a quiet breath. “That you knew me… and I died?”

His head whips up in a flash. Wide eyes stare at you. “Wh… How did…? I was psyching myself up to tell you that and you already knew?”

You could almost laugh at his shock. At the look on his face.

But a waver at the back of your throat prevented anything as joyful as that from forming. You swallowed before saying, “I didn’t know. Not until today.”

He blinks cluelessly at you.

“I saw you, in the Hanged Man’s realm. I couldn’t call out to you, I couldn’t reach you, but… I heard everything.”

You can see the realization dawn on his face, in the way his eyes widen and soften with sympathy. “Are you… are you okay?”

Your mind spins.

Are you okay?

This morning, maybe you could say you were. Even as Julian was being carted away to be hanged, as his eyes gaze across the crowd and locked onto you. As his body fell out from under him. You could have bit your cheek, sucked it up for a moment more, clinging to the hope his plan would work.

You could watch him die, and still hold on just enough to reassure Portia that he would be okay.

But this?

Every time the thought reaches the forefront of your mind, your head spins. A headache presses at your temples, your stomach churns, your heart feels off-beat. How… How can you be okay?

You shake your head weakly, eyes falling from his face, vision unfocused as hot tears begin pooling too quickly to try stopping them. “No. I… no, I’m not.”

His words sound distant. All you’re aware of is his cool hand touching your shoulder, guiding you down to the ratty old cot taking up space in the small cell. The way his hands glide around you, pulling you into his chest.

And all at once, you finally break.

Harsh sobs shake you to your core as you hug him back. The fabric of his shirt becomes a prisoner in your tight grip, tugging desperately to pull him closer and closer.

His hand cups the back of your head, guiding your face to his neck. He whispers reassurances - mindless platitudes to try distracting your mind from the terrible truth to your missing memories. Kisses planted sweetly at your temple and hairline.

“Who-” You have to gasp for air. Your lungs burn with the next sob, especially as you try to stifle it down against his skin. “Who was I?”

He stiffens under you, and squeezes you tighter in his hold.

That person you used to be… You’d never know them. When at one time, all you knew was yourself, suddenly that rug has been ripped out from under you. Is who you are now- are you even you? Would your past self have become this? Were you them anymore? Did you share anything with them anymore?

And all those memories. All those days, all that time spent living just… gone. Did you used to think of your parents on holidays? Were you even close enough to them to think of them? Were they even alive? You know your shop belonged to your aunt, but you don’t even remember her anymore.

How many childhood memories bathed in golden nostalgia are lost now? How many friends did you used to have, now faded into obscurity?

God, friends. You tried so hard to be kind to all of the vendors at the market, but they all stared at you so warily. No matter what you tried, they were always on edge, always whispering behind your back. Even the baker had his moments of unease toward the beginning of your newest memories. Asra was the only friend you had. For so long. Who else had come before him?

And Julian! You’d known him! Worked as his apprentice! Were you friends then? Did you drink Salty Bitters at the Rowdy Raven together back then? Did you share secrets late in the night? Did you welcome him at work with a cup of coffee? Or did you drift through life back then, too? Keeping a practical distance between you both, staying professional, never anything deeper than that.

You press your face further into his shoulder. You can’t imagine it. You can’t imagine not being as close to Julian as you are now. All the adventures and laughter and love…

But you wish you could remember it. Just for a moment.

Julian brushes your hair back, humming a song out of tune by your ear. You wonder how long he’s been humming for, you didn’t even notice when it began. You focus on the melody, however butchered it may be from years of singing shanties with pirates. If you listen carefully, imagining what it should sound like, you think it may be a lullaby.

The more you listen, the more aware of your body you become. Your skin is warm where he rubs up and down your back. His other hand is gloveless, though you don’t know when he removed it. It tangles softly in your hair, scratching gently at your scalp, sending tingles that mix with your trembling body to form goosebumps along your arms.

His chest rumbles as he hums. You’re pressed close enough to feel it vibrate through you, too. When the song pauses and he inhales, you feel it, too. You can hear it by your ear, the sharp intake of breath.

You remember the sight of him dangling by the neck. You couldn’t tear your eyes away when they waited for him to die.

But he’s not dead now.

You bring a hand around to rest on his chest. He pauses briefly, head shifting as he tries to see what you’re doing, but he doesn’t completely stop. His skin isn’t cold as death, it’s just cool. Underneath, you can feel the powerful beating of his heart. Its steady rhythm is persistent.

Your tears slow, until the leftover drops stick to your eyelashes. Your body stops shaking with the force of your despair. His hand slows to a stop on your back, melody petering off to welcome the silence of the dungeon once more. He kisses your temple.

“Are you alright?” he whispers hesitantly.

Are you?

You take a deep breath. The lingering smell of coffee and the sea greets you.

You nod slightly. Your voice is crackly and raspy as you speak, fragile. “I think so.”

He lets you pull away when you’re ready. You can’t stand the thought of leaving too wide of a gap, though. So your hand remains on his chest, over his heart. There’s a kind understanding in his eye as he covers it with his own.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you back then,” he apologizes. “You needed me and I wasn’t there. I failed you.”

You shake your head, cutting him off. “You’re here for me now.” You muster up a weak smile. “That’s what matters.”

His shoulders sag a little with relief. He lets go of your hand to cup your cheek, wiping away the drying tears with his thumb, before drawing you forward and kissing your forehead once more. It’s easy to close your eyes and sink into the affection. Knowing how close you have both been to dying for good, it feels precious. It is precious.

But it’s all too soon when he pulls away, brows taught with seriousness. Too many questions are left unanswered. Too many things hinge on Lucio not coming back. For as much as you want nothing more than to linger in stolen moments forever, it will have to wait.

You won’t let this plague come back.

You can’t.

[bunnyluvx]

the hanged man.

featuring: julian devorak x gn!reader. (w/ asra!)

summary: the morning after the dock talk.

warnings: death mention. nothing else.

a/n: HELLO SWEETIES!! i present thee with my first fanfiction!! all of my other content has been hcs/imagines up until this point and i am very excited about it! i did not expect for my first fanfic on here to be angst but i got so giddy about this idea that i couldn't wait. i am about to finish nadia's route and omg i am so nervous???? literally one more book, then i find out which ending i got. i REALLY want her reversed ending but will not be completely displeased if i get her upright ending. we shall see within the next couple of days. thank you to the ppl who gave constructive criticism to help me better this fanfic!! proofread. now enjoy your angst >:3

date started: 10:24PM, july 4th, 2024. date finished: 9:30PM, july 8th, 2024.

divider credit: @thecutestgrotto

wc: 1.9k

Sun pours in through the window beside your bed. It tickles your skin, urging you to wake from your slumber. The light tries to pull the covers off of you as the day calls your name, but you do not answer. You lay curled up on your side, blankets huddled around you in a cocoon. You don't carry the usual motivation that you have to get up and get things done, not today. All you want to do is hide in the blankets away from the world and stay there forever. So many emotions that are far too heavy for you to carry weigh on your shoulders, and if sleeping forever was an option, you would have dozed back off by now. But the sun is persistent in its mission at waking you, so your eyes begrudgingly peel open.

Your sight is welcomed by the same view that you have been greeted with every morning for the past three years. You lay still for a moment to take everything in. So much has happened ever since the countess asked that you take on the task of finding Count Lucio's killer, Doctor Julian Devorak. The first time that you met him, he had broken into your shop, and you found him again at the Rowdy Raven. Somehow, you managed to run into him again after a few weeks, one thing led to another, and you had fallen in love with the very man that you had sworn to catch for hanging. This romance did not last you very long, for last night, he left you. He told you that he was a disaster waiting to happen, that he didn't want to hurt you. He was so convinced that if you chose him, you would have chosen a horrible fate, and he couldn't let you do that to yourself. He walked you home, and while having dinner with Asra after speaking about your day, you broke. You had spent most of that night in tears with them at your side the entire time, holding you and rubbing your back to comfort you.

You turn around to see Asra exactly where he was when you had fallen asleep; At your side, on their back with their arm extended out to you incase you wanted to curl up against them. He had warned you about Julian, and his words echo in the back of your head. "The only thing he loves more than drama is his own suffering. And he's determined to chase both." You reflect on the way that he spoke of himself when he was fighting with himself about leaving you, and you find it so hard to believe that Julian is anything like how he sees himself. With the little time that you had spent together, you can see Julian's big heart, one that is kind and adventurous and full of love for the people around him. Despite everything that happened in his past, whatever it was, you can't see him as anything more than someone you want to love.

Enough is enough. You cannot lay here and sulk all day, even though that's all you really want to do. Slowly, you manage to sit up from bed, careful with your movements so that you don't wake Asra. You decide to go downstairs to make some tea for yourself, since it always makes you feel better. You trudge to the shop below, still groggy from slumber, and grab the teapot before waking the salamander and politely asking to light a fire for you. The fire flares up, and you make your favorite brew.

After you make your tea, you delicately take the mug into your hands and blow on it before having a sip. A content sigh escapes your lips as your eyes close, savoring the taste on your tongue. You take another slow sip before your eyes open, looking around the shop that you have learned like the back of your hand. You figure that you'll probably need to open up today, which you don't think will be too much of a problem. Standing around won't do you much good, you think, so you decide to stand outside for some fresh air. You make your way to the door and open it, one foot is about to step out of the door when you stop upon seeing something just under your foot. You move it back into the shop, then lean over and see..a letter? Your name is written on the front in handwriting that you have seen in the palace's library, and you know exactly who it's from.

You scoop the letter up from the floor before dashing inside, slamming the door behind you before rushing to the front counter. Anxiety swirls around within your stomach hotly, and your hands slightly tremble as you rip open the letter. You free the paper from its prison and unfold it, then begin to read.

My Dear,

I knew that I wouldn't be able to stay away from you. At the time that I am writing this letter, it has only been a couple of hours since I dropped you back off at the shop. The moment that I walked away, all I wanted to do was come running back to you. My heart was screaming at me to turn around, to ask you to come with me, wherever that meant for us to have gone. I guess that just proves how selfish I am, or maybe just how alluring you are. In the end, the decision that I made was for the better of both of us. We could never be together, no matter how badly we want differently.

Believe me when I say that I did not want this to end the way it has. I have never wanted to cause you harm or heartache. If I could, I would spend the rest of my life taking your pain away. But I have only one purpose in this life, and that is to hurt. I am destined to bring misery to everyone in my life, and to live alone. Choosing a future with me would mean to choose a future full of disappointments, and I do not want to disappoint you anymore. I do not want to disappoint anyone anymore. So I will not burden you with my presence. You will be able to go on with your life, chasing a future that will not wind up with you getting hurt. You are the last person that I want to drag into my mess, so I have to let you go.

Though our time together was short, I enjoyed it all. Every moment with you made me feel more alive than I have ever felt before. It is not often that I find someone who is willing to get into some mischief with me, so finding you and sharing the experiences that we had together is something that I am very grateful for. I am grateful that you allowed me to be in your company for as long as you did, and I am grateful for the kindness and care that you showed me. You have such a gentle, beautiful soul, and everyone who has ever crossed paths with you are the luckiest people on planet to have been able to experience your presence.

I could go on about how lovely you are. You have so much love to give, and you are caring. You had the capacity to care for me, and for that, I am grateful. One day, I can only hope that you will understand that leaving you was for your benefit. I do not want to bring you the suffering that I have brought so many others, so I will spare you of myself. I am struggling to believe that this decision is the right one, honestly. All I can think about is running back to your shop and breaking in again to tell you how sorry I am, and to beg for your forgiveness. That's something that we are going to have to find out together, I guess.

Forever Yours,

Dr. Julian Devorak

You don't know how long tears have been falling down your face. Your chest feels tight, like it's about to burst, and you can't breathe. A hand hovers over your mouth as you stare in horror at the paper in your hand. Too many emotions crash into you all at once for you to even begin processing the words in front of you. You couldn't believe that this is how it's ending between you and Julian. You know that part of why he feels this way about himself is because he has no memory of the night that he allegedly murdered Count Lucio. However, there is also the opposite end of that spectrum; He doesn't remember. There could be a chance that he didn't actually kill the count, and if that's the case, then you need to figure out what actually happened that night. Your blood runs overwhelmingly hot inside you as you ruminate on Julian's irresolution. You feel like you shouldn't even be this upset about someone that you didn't even have a solid relationship with, but you can't ignore the agonizing stabbing feeling in your heart. He could be innocent, but he is more willing to live his life wallowing in his own guilt than to live knowing that the baggage that he is carrying is unneeded.

You are unable to control your body any longer as you collapse to your knees, your loud sobbing betraying the anger that you stirred inside you just moments ago. A brief feeling of regret is drawn from you for even thinking of being angry, leaving as soon as it comes to be replaced with desolation. Grief for what could have been, for what you so desperately wanted this to be, overwhelms you. Shrieks from your voice scream into the empty shop as you hold the letter to your chest with both arms, your torso leaning forward in a fetal position on the floor.

Footsteps scatter down the stairs, and familiar eyes lay upon you. Your cries have awakened Asra, and they are at your side within seconds. His hands are on your shoulders and he sits on the floor with his feet under his butt, his knees propping him up. They watch worriedly as you heave and wail, only when you sit up do they see the letter in your hand. He doesn't say anything, for he knows exactly what has happened. Their eyes darken before they return their focus to you, you are far more important right now. You cry out to whatever spirit will listen, and collapse into Asra's arms. A strong embrace comes around you, only protecting you so much from the hurt of your heart.

You cannot understand what is going inside of Julian's head for the life of you. You do not understand why he feels such a strong need to push you away when all you want is to love him. He has admitted to wanting the same thing, so you feel so confused as to why he just won't let you. You find it difficult to believe that he truly hates himself so much, that he despises the very person that you see so much good in. The fact that he hates someone who took on a curse in which he takes on other's wounds because of his own guilt baffles you. A future without Julian is not a future that you want, but it is what he believes that he deserves. He believes that he deserves to walk the world alone for the rest of his life, and despite the fate that he has condemned himself to, something muffledly admits to you that it is not what he is bound to live.

@BUNNYLUVX ,, all rights reserved. do not copy/plagiarize any of my works or submit it into ai.

[nebbyy]

MASTERLIST

Kingdom of Heaven:

King Baldwin IV:

Life always comes down to a game of chess

I’ll be waiting for you

Sweetest of melodies

My archangel - coming soon!

Bandit - coming soon!

Voice of Heaven - coming soon!

Like Lancelot - coming soon!

Headcanons:

Arguing with you

Sickness

Period

Defending your honor

Nsfw

Cats or dogs?

Modern headcanons: modern music, pt 2, pt 3, reaction to immodest clothing, modern style, chips and drinks, anime

Percy Jackson and the Olympians:

Luke Castellan:

Last date

Ghost of you - coming soon!

Heroes Of Olympus:

Leo Valdez:

Headcanons - child of Aphrodite!S/O

Trials of Apollo

Lester Papadopoulos/Apollo:

It's Over, isn't It? - part one

Eternal Bonds - part two

The Arcana

Asra Alnazar:

Headcanons - Intimacy before and after

Young and Beautiful - coming soon!

You're my plague - coming soon!

Julian Devorak:

Kiss the girl - coming soon!

Avatar: the Last Airbender -> Out of the Masterlist

Aang:

That voice in his head

[cedarmoonzz]

REQUESTS OPEN:

I write for:

The Arcana

Hunter x Hunter

Gravity Falls

Death Note

I will only write for characters over 18!! You can request the following:

Matchmaking

Oneshot

Headcanons

[stariisoda]

I have this head cannon where so like during the plague when Asra and Julian were together in their really toxic relationship, that often times, Asra would hallucinate. And if they were around Julian, they would hallucinate it being the apprentice. So even if they were doing "things", Asra would get caught up with it and see his apprentice instead. I imagine they finally broke it off when Asra got up during it and had a freak out.

So that's my thought. I think it makes things all the more messed up, considering Asra didn't like Julian the way Julian did and they were so hung up on the apprentice.

[totally-not-here-for-the-smut]

There's just one thing truly bitter into Lucio's route...

So you're really in love with the count, aren't you? Go with him, then. But please, don't be mad at me if I won't be there at your wedding. I'll be happy for you, but no, I am afraid I won't make it.

There were days, you see, days when you were gone that I thought that everything was a cruel dream. A long, lonely, scary dream with smoke filling the air and the cries of the people in the street. The nights that followed were endless and cold. They felt like falling eternally in the darkest pit. So I and Julian held each other tight; oh, how often my palms and chest were smeared of his blood. Losing us into each other's madness made us feel not whole, yet less lonely. His pain was burning and desperate; mine was cold and sharp. We entwined our bodies hoping to get burned and cut and torn against such pains, just to know that in the world someone was suffering as we did.

Then those days ended. The memories of them, gone. There was you, your candid mind, the endless care of my tired hands. You could me mine again, yes, I was selfish, but hope filtered again into this house.

And now you're here, yet you're lost. Into the arms of the one that never suffered nor even cared. But he cares for you now, and that's enough for your happiness.

So it must be enough for mine.

.

[monsterbunny69]

Julian Devorak x Gn!Reader smut part 2

18+!

I lean down and slide his thick cock into my mouth, sucking and bobbing my head faster than before. Instead of gripping the bed sheets, he brings an arm up to his mouth and starts to bite and muffle his moans into it. He starts to subconsciously buck his hips again, of course I pin them down and stop sucking so I can drag my tongue up and down his shaft again. He gives me a pleasing look and I giggle, knowing he’s desperate to finish but too embarrassed to ask again. I go back to sucking him off and begin using my tongue on his top form time to time. The room is filled with sounds of his muffled (but still loud) moans and whimpers. He puts his arm down, a bright red and purple bite mark in place of his mouth. He lets himself groan and pant as loud as his body wants him to as he approaches his climax. I look up at him and memorize his features- his eyes shut right, a little blood on his lip from the biting, and his mouth open wide to moan as much as he wants. I look back down and focus on letting him finish for now. “M-mc I’m so close..” he huffs out, nearly drooling. “Please can I…” he trails off into more moans and grunts, increasing in volume. I don’t answer him and just keep sucking, I let go of his hips so he can thrust them freely which is the final thing that sends him over the edge. I keep sucking his dick as I feel his warm cum shoot into my mouth and listen to him moan my name, loving the sound of him saying it so desperately and breathlessly. Once he is done riding out his climax high I pull off of his dick, leaning over and grabbing a tissue to spit his semen into before tossing it into the trash beside our bed. “How was that?” I ask, grabbing his arm and bringing it to my lips to press a gentle kiss to his bleeding arm. “Really good” he answers, still trying to catch his breath. I smile and lay beside him, kissing his cheek “maybe we can switch places later” he says, laughing a little. I snuggle into his chest, avoiding his now injured arm “I’d be happy with that…but I would like to pick the situation” I giggle, trying to save my ideas for later. “Deal.” He says before pulling the blanket over us.

[zephyronthewind]

I think embarrassment takes 8 years to die. I'm reading my 8 year old fics and kicking my feet and squealing at how good it is like I'm not the author

[mossy-petrichor]

Despair

Julian Devorak – short angst

"Do you... Know what happened to your parents?"

Ilya's fidgeting immediately stopped as he felt his throat close. He did.

"Um... Y-yeah, but..."

But he didn't realize it yet. He had to comfort Pasha and keep her distracted. He hadn't had time to think about what happened.

"But... I-I..."

But I hope it wasn't real. I wish it was all a nightmare and if I wish hard enough I might wake up and mama and papa will be next to me and they'll comfort me. And it'll all be just a nightmare and they'll be back, right? It's just a nightmare. I just have to wake up, right? And if I hope hard enough, maybe I'll see a wishing star tonight, and I can wish to wake up and the nightmare will be over and me and Pasha will be okay again.

He looked up at whoever was talking to him; even with wide eyes, his vision was too blurry by tears for him to know who was in front of him.

At least, he could tell they looked concerned.

Why are they looking at me like that?

Ilya felt his stomach drop. It seemed to make ice run through his whole body, and it was cold like when it snowed back home, but it came from inside his chest and spread through his whole body up to his fingertips as the realization hit him.

They were gone. His parents were gone and they weren't coming back.

The voice reached a hand to him. He ran away.

For the first time, Ilya felt what he would later learn to call despair.

[to-the-stars8]

Remember

Asra x Apprentice!Reader Ao3 Summary: When you looked at Asra, you wondered who he wished to see when his gaze lingered on you.

When you looked at Asra, you wondered who he wished to see when his gaze lingered on you. In the back of his mind, there must have been a ghost of your previous life haunting him, you could see faint bits of it dancing in the shadow of his eyes. It made him turn away from you, and more often leave the city entirely. Asra’s cheeks would flush from shame when you asked him about it, only getting a vague answer before he moved. 

The tongues the old you spoke, the clothes you wore, and the habits were all gone— leaving you scrambling for some sort of identity so the old face of yours would be recognizable. Asra had tried to give you the memories back, but it overwhelmed you to a painful degree. Ultimately, you would be left with less than you started with. Luckily, you were clever enough to put together the pieces of your life just by the look in his eyes. 

One evening, when you had suggested a walk along the Vesuvia beaches, his eyes were bright with optimism. The sight made your heart feel as though it was floating, nearly like a high of love and ecstasy. It was why you continued to chase your old self through the mazes of his mind and the glints in his purple eyes. 

The beaches were not as beautiful as they used to be. Asra had told you this as he helped you climb down from one of the many rocks that went down to the shore. He described how the sand used to be golden with the water a clear, almost turquoise, blue before Lucio ruined them. The sand, though it was nearly night, looked darker than it should have been, and the water grey. It was like life had been sucked from it. Yet, there was still a beauty to it. The moonlight reflected off the water in glittering waves and the sand felt soft beneath your sandals. The silence there allowed for the sound of birds and bugs to be heard. 

“Did you like to come here often, before the plague?” You asked with a laugh as you attempted to skip a rock on the water. When the rock hit the water twice before sinking, you made a disappointed grunt as you turned to look at Asra. 

His expression gave away his emotions. Asra seemed almost like he was in pain. His eyebrows furrowed, his lips pressed into a thin line, and his eyes were shining with shameful disappointment. You had seen the look so many times, but this time it was different. It was the last drop in an already overflowing bucket of disappointing, almost shameful, stares. The high you had been riding on suddenly vanished, leaving you falling into a pit of despair. 

You asked cooly, “Why do you keep looking at me like that?”

Asra opened his mouth, though no words came out, and you could only squeeze your eyes shut to keep the tears from your eyes. Wrapping his arms around your shoulders, he pulled you close. The smell of lavender oil and incense filled your senses. Your fingers dug into Asra’s shirt, pulling him closer so his scent might bring about that high you wanted again. 

Asra whispered your name as his hands traced lines up and down your spine. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“I know I recall so little— More so, nothing at all. You must hate me for it, at least a little,” You mumbled into the nape of his neck. "Since I know you would not look at me as such if you did not hate me."

Asra shook his head, “No! How could you say such things? It is not what you do not remember that makes me act so, it is what I remember. The things I have done…” His body began to shake as he began to weep.

You shushed him, moving to press your forehead against his. “Think nothing of it. We are here now.”

Asra pressed a kiss to your lips, then another and another. He would have taken you there on the beach, under the moonlight and with the sounds of the waves in the background, if you would have allowed him.

“I must confess,” You said with a smile. “I can recall but one thing.”

Asra’s eyes glittered like the waves in the moonlight. “What is that, my love?”

“How much I loved you, and how much I love you now.”

[endupherefic]

Chapters: 15/? Fandom: The Arcana (Visual Novel) Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Apprentice/Julian Devorak, Apprentice/Lucio (The Arcana), Julian Devorak/Lucio (The Arcana), Apprentice/Julian Devorak/Lucio (The Arcana), Nadia (The Arcana)/Original Female Character(s), Lucio/Nadia (The Arcana) Characters: Julian Devorak, Lucio (The Arcana), Lucio Morgasson, Montag Morgasson - Character, Apprentice (The Arcana), Nazali Satrinava, Nadia Satrinava, Nadia (The Arcana), Original Female Character(s), Valdemar (The Arcana), Volta (The Arcana), Vulgora (The Arcana), Vlastomil (The Arcana), The Devil | Lucio's Patron (The Arcana), Count Spada, Asra (The Arcana), Salim Alnazar, Aisha Alnazar Additional Tags: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Friends to Enemies, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Polyamory, Blood, Injury, Mild Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Romance, Slow Burn, Gender-Neutral Apprentice (The Arcana), Julian's POV, Lucio's POV, mentions of amputation, Sexual Tension, Sexual Content, Alcohol, Plague, Pre-Red Plague (The Arcana), Red Plague (The Arcana), Collar play, Threesome, Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Grief/Mourning, Depression, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Ghosts, Nightmares, descriptions of burning Chapter Summary: The Apprentice first appears to him a week or so after their passing. Lucio’s sleep that night is restless. He lies awake, staring vacantly at a sliver of moonlight that has strayed through his curtains and dared to cast its pale light across the floor. A sudden weight pressing into the mattress beside Lucio draws him from his haze. Thinking perhaps Nadia had crept into the room, Lucio turns to face her, but in the turbid darkness, all he can see is a shadowy figure staring down at him from where they sit. Eyes bore into him, a dull red glow emanating from their sockets. Lucio feels his limbs seize as he gapes back at the unsettlingly familiar figure, frozen in fear.

Chapter 15, The Plague: Ghosts of Ember and Ash

Lucio’s room reeks of sorrow and the sickly scent of fever. He is buried under his bedsheets, chin prickly with stubble and eyes crusted with salt and gunk. He is an utter wreck. Lucio does not remember the last time he saw the sun nor the last time he ate. His shriveled stomach aches with hunger and his dry mouth yearns for the sweet relief of water. His spirit hovers above him, watching as his pathetic body lies motionless in bed, too weary and broken to put any effort in anymore.

Time has had little to no meaning since the death of the Apprentice. In fact, Lucio cannot remember how much time has passed since he watched their frail body, covered only by a thin, white sheet, get carted off to the Lazaret. It is well known around Vesuvia that the Count has lost himself to fever, to delirium, and deep sorrow. Months seem to pass with Lucio hardly leaving his room, holed up in the darkness with the curtains drawn and the door firmly shut. His bedroom stinks of devastation, the musty, stuffy scent permeating the very tapestries on the walls. Rage surges through his veins. The hateful creature in Lucio’s heart feeds upon his desolation. It grows with every passing hour, hungrier and hungrier as he simmers in illness and despair. Wronged by his subjects. Wronged by the Devil. Wronged by the only people he thought truly cared for him...

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[queenofthegaylions]

I think this is prob the worst of the reveals, simply because of how alone and helpless the apprentice is here, unable to move or make a sound while this huge revelation is revealed to them right after what’s probably one of the worst things that’s happened to them in living memory