#just another silly overlap between these guys

[numbuh424]

get his ass, keiji 🤧

follow-up to my previous detective doodles. I wanted to draw them actually interacting but couldn't imagine a scenario where L would ever show his face to them lol

[sunderingstars]

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✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ OVERVIEW OF MY THEORIES ⌝

sampo analysis m.list

— what the stars reveal: theory, summary

— word count: 2.4k

— overview: (as of 2.2) an introduction to a few of my main ideas surrounding sampo & his identity, as well as a helpful resource for understanding terms i use in other analyses

— functions as a shorthand for myself so i can include complicated concepts in my writing without having to explain them every time!

— i may add new terms and theories to this list occasionally

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✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ GENERAL ⌝

Aha!Sampo:

— The theory that Sampo was, is, or will be Aha the Elation at some point in the story. This includes a number of different consciousnesses and states of being described under my specific theories!

Emanator!Sampo:

— The theory that Sampo was, is, or will be an Emanator of Aha the Elation at some point in the story. This includes a number of different consciousnesses and states of being described under my specific theories! Has some overlap with Aha!Sampo (see Vicarious Emanator Theory for more).

Elation!Sampo:

— An umbrella term comprising Aha!Sampo and Emanator!Sampo theories, as well as theories that position him as having an identity closely intertwined with the Elation.

Just-A-Guy!Sampo:

— The theory that Sampo was, is, and has always been just a guy. Just a silly guy doing his thing. This can range from “no connection” to “tormented by eldritch visions constantly” in terms of his relationship with Aha.

Ultimate Scammer!Sampo:

— The half-crack theory that Sampo, being at his core a con-man, is just trying to scam everyone around him (including the Masked Fools and Aha Themself) and doesn’t necessarily have any lore connection to those he is trying to scam.

Silhouette!Sampo (Silhouette Theory):

— The theory that Sampo is or was the silhouette in Aha’s splash art; this does not necessarily mean he and Aha are the exact same entity, but rather that he is present in the splash art.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ SPLIT CONSCIOUSNESS THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Aha, for a multitude of potential reasons, is split into different states of consciousness, and Sampo is one of those states. (These states may all be potentially Emanator status, or function on varying levels of power.)

— Some of these states may be purely physical, purely mental, or a combination of both. They may be able to exist in the same space, or they may only be able to be traded off for one another.

— Examples include: completely separate physical beings that share similar memories or thoughts but are still distinct on their own, completely separate mental states that share similar physical beings but are sectioned off from one another, or completely separate mental states that take completely separate physical forms.

— Basically, Sampo and Aha, while still having the same core identity, are themselves distinct people.

— Can share similarities with the Furina/Focalors situation from Genshin, or the way Herrshers like Sirin function as separate entities in the minds of those they inhabit (like Kiana).

— Subtheories include: Aha trying to exploit a loophole to avoid “falling” or compulsory existence (thus creating a part of Themself that can live more freely as Sampo), the gradual growing apart of the silhouette (Sampo) in Aha’s splash art and the masks (Aeon proper), and the distinct transformation that takes place from human to higher form (complete with a huge shift in personality and mental existence).

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ DUAL CONSCIOUSNESS THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Aha and Sampo have, currently do, or will at some point in the future exist inside the same physical being.

— Constant push and pull between mortal consciousness and Aeonic consciousness.

— No “split” here, both consciousnesses are in there like a soup.

— For those who have listened to The Magnus Archives (minor spoilers), I view this as similar to Michael Shelley’s absorption of the Distortion that turns him into Michael Distortion (Sampo, in this case, would be someone who “absorbed” Aha in a similar way, or vice versa).

— He could still land at Emanator status despite being so linked with Aha, similar to the way Michael (despite being so intertwined with the Spiral) was still considered an Avatar.

— He is Sampo but also not Sampo, Aha but also not Aha. He is both. He is neither. He is not a who, Archivist, he’s a what.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Aha is made up not of one singular entity, but rather several different forms that share a collective consciousness.

— There is no split or dual identity here, only a shared “mind cloud” for combined information, memories, and emotions across different forms.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ COMPULSORY EXISTENCE THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Aeons, by nature of being, live a sort of compulsory existence where they are inextricably tied to their concept. Any deviation from this concept will backfire horribly, either by “falling,” blotting out of existence, or simply being repressed and overwritten by their state of being. (Based on Himeko's Parlor Car Dialogue and the "Primum Mobile"!)

— Aeons that ascend from mortal forms or are closest to humanity will be especially hit hard by this, like Akivili and Aha. There is a constant push and pull between the ideas and influence of humanity (whether past, present, or both) and the eldritch state of being an Aeon, potentially creating massive amounts of repression — repression so deep that deviating feelings can barely be felt at all before snapping back into place.

— Subtheories include: Aha sectioning these deviating feelings off from the rest of Their being by creating Sampo (split consciousness), Aha turning Themself mortal or trying to find a way back to their original pre-Aeonic form as a way to mitigate this, and Aha trying to find a way to pass on Their power so They don’t have to deal with it anymore (whether Sampo is Aha trying to pass off this power, or Sampo is not Aha but is the potential recipient).

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ SEPARATION THEORY ⌝

— The theory that, either at or after Aha’s ascendancy into an Aeon, Their mortal and Aeonic consciousnesses separated into entirely separate beings; Aha as the Aeon and Sampo as the mortal.

— Different from Split Consciousness Theory in that Sampo and Aha are not directly linked in identity, only that they both used to be part of the same person and are now entirely separate.

— In this scenario, Sampo would have the same longevity as Aha the Aeon, staying alive for as long as Aha is. He would also likely work against Aha as a sort of “what the fuck and hell are you doing” countertype.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ DOLL THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Sampo was created by Aha in Their own likeness for a variety of reasons, including but not limited to: pure chaos, undercover operations, endgame plans, and just for the hell of it.

— Based off of the Aha Stuffed Toy Simulated Universe occurrence!

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ DEAD GOD THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Aha the Elation has died, is in the process of dying, or at some point will die. This also includes “falling” or faking Their “fall”/death. “Death” in this case also does not have to be literal, but can be returning to non-Aeonic status.

— If Aha has previously died or faked Their death, this would be something widely unknown to the general universe, either being actively kept a secret by groups like the Masked Fools, or something that not even Aha’s followers are aware of.

— If Aha is in the process of dying, They would most likely be trying to find a way to circumvent it, just like if They knew They were going to die in the future.

— Aha faking Their death could have several parallels to Zhongli from Genshin, like making a flashy show of “dying” and then taking up a random job in an unassuming place (Wangsheng Funeral Parlor / Belobog).

— Subtheories include: Sampo, who was previously Aha, has now reverted back to non-Aeonic status (while still retaining a measure of power), Aha is in the process of dying and as such has drastically diminished capabilities and can only really stay as Sampo most of the time, and Aha has foreseen that They will die in the future and is trying to find a way to circumvent that either through Sampo’s existence or through a longer, larger mind game.

— It is also possible that They are setting Sampo up as an alias so They can fake their death and go live as him on Remote Snow Planet™, or that They have previously faked Their death and Sampo is the present alias, only known to a few (perhaps Sparkle) as actually being Aha.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ VICARIOUS EMANATOR (FUNCTIONAL AHA) THEORY ⌝

— The theory that, since Aha is known to give entire mastery of Their path to anyone who strikes their fancy, Emanators of Elation function not just as recipients of power, but as extensions of Aha Themself (with access to Aha’s memories and consciousness). Basically, Emanators are “functionally Aha” in everything but name.

— Works with split consciousness, collective consciousness, & dual consciousness theories!

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ SHELL THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Sampo is a sort of “shell” or other receptacle for Aha’s consciousness, with the ability for Aha to enter and leave at will.

— Very possession-aligned.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ RED HERRING THEORY ⌝

— The theory that every bit of hinting towards higher status for Sampo is a red herring or other fourth wall break either set forth by the writers or Aha Themself.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ WASHED UP CELEBRITY THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Sampo, having grown past his prime, has become disconnected with the “pure Elation” of his glory days, and has such adopted a sort of “old timer” status.

— Works well with Retirement Theory, especially if Elation!Sampo has “retired” to Belobog after realizing he wants to live a lowkey life.

— Can work for any high status.

— Bojack Horseman vibes — “Did you know that I used to be Aha the Elation? Do you know Aha the Elation? Yeah that was me. I did some pretty cool stuff. Like the worm thing. Yeah. That was me.”

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ OVERGROWTH THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Aha’s silhouette and Their masks once existed as a cohesive being, but have since detached and/or grown apart from Their previous intertwined status.

— “Overgrowth” refers specifically to the idea that the masks outgrew Their original body (the silhouette, in this case Sampo) and took most of Aha’s power with Them as sentient objects, leaving the silhouette behind.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ RETIREMENT THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Sampo is just really tired and wants to/is trying to retire.

— In this case, Belobog would function as his prime retirement spot where he can spend the rest of his days doing silly little scams far away from whatever mess the factions of Elation have going on.

— Mostly concerns his own disillusionment with a high position of power, where he enters burnout or a “midlife crisis” and attempts to retire as a way to reset his life.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ASCENDANCE / ABDICATION THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Aha’s power is passed on between different inheritors/heirs/random roulette wheel winners, and Sampo has been or is next in line to receive this power.

— “Abdication” refers to Sampo previously recieving this power, but giving it up or further passing it on for a variety of reasons.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ATTACHMENT THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Sampo, whoever he may be, has become unwittingly attached to Belobog and by extension, its residents.

— This man was not prepared to go ride or die for a random, isolated snow planet, yet here he is.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ DISILLUSIONMENT THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Sampo is disillusioned with his past/current way of life, and is such seeking refuge or a solution away from the norm.

— Can be disillusionment with Aeonic status, Emanator status, or a similar high-ranking position.

— Elation!Sampo disillusionment would probably take the form of running out of “jokes,” becoming stagnant, or overall being tired of the constant metaphorical (or literal) mask-wearing of compulsory existence.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ "JUST A JOKE" THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Aha has or is in the process of turning Themself mortal as a joke.

— Sampo is a result of Aha existing as a human “for the bit,” which may include certain rules or regulations he has to follow (like being unable to tell others his true identity or staying mortal/being unable to transform for a certain length of time).

— These rules may be set in stone and unable to be circumvented. If they aren’t, failure to abide by them may result in consequences like reverting back to Aeonic status, losing Their Aeonhood, or some other horrible nightmarish concept.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ TROJAN HORSE THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Sampo, unbeknownst to himself, is a “trojan horse” for Aha’s consciousness.

— This may include amnesia or other memory issues that make him unable to detect Aha’s presence within himself.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ RISK THEORY ⌝

— The theory that, in order to circumvent or set into motion a specific set of events, Aha has become Sampo as a “risk.”

— Based off of Sampo’s voiceline, “How’re you gonna win if you never take any risks?”

— Usually deals with some sort of master plan or loophole Aha is trying to exploit in the Aeonic system.

— Aha living as a mortal Sampo would then mean They have given up some large part of Themself (the “risk”) in order to achieve whatever goal They may have.

— This “risk” has a high likelihood of being some sort of gamble. (Can also apply to an Emanator!Sampo staying in mortal form.)

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ TRANSFORMATION THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Sampo and his Elation persona have very different personalities, motivations, and goals depending on what form they are in (mortal or Aeonic/Emanator).

— This results in a massive change of mental and physical being when he transforms from one form of being to the next.

— On the whole, Sampo is much more reasonable and empathetic as a mortal, while the Elation is more chaotic and malicious as a higher being.

— Highly reminiscent of how the Fablehaven series (great books, go read them if you can!) handles dragon consciousness, where the divide between human and dragon forms are so stark that human!forms can negotiate with the protagonists in a fairly safe environment but dragon!forms will literally try to kill them on sight.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ DEAL THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Sampo has made some sort of deal with Aha in exchange for power, money, or other wants/needs.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ FAVORED THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Sampo is Aha’s specialest goofiest little guy. He’s not necessarily anyone important position-wise, but he’s Aha’s favorite, which has led to him living an unnaturally long life and being unnaturally lucky (or unlucky, depending on how you look at it).

— Being Aha’s favorite is most likely not a good thing.

— Please free him.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ FAVOR THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Sampo owes Aha a favor for one reason or another (can tie into the “deal theory”) and is trying to pay it back as quick as humanly possible.

— Based off the fact Sampo hates owing people things (Natasha's voiceline).

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ LOST AEONHOOD THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Aha has lost their Aeonhood or had it stolen from them by someone else, and Sampo is the resulting “non-Aeonic Aha”.

— It is entirely possible that Aha took Their Aeonhood away from Themself as a sort of “final joke.” They’re just that type of guy.

— They also may have gambled it away or knowingly entered/created a situation where it would be up for grabs.

— Under this could be a variety of theories including: Risk, "Just A Joke," Dead God, and Overgrowth Theory!

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ESCAPISM THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Sampo is trying to escape some higher position of power by coming to Belobog or existing as himself.

— Elation!Sampo may be trying to escape the compulsory existence of higher status by becoming more mortal, and Other!Sampos may be trying to escape specific factions like the Masked Fools or even Aha Themself.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ "JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE" THEORY ⌝

— The theory that Aha insists on Their followers (especially the Masked Fools) treating Them as just another member, essentially leveling out the playing field for Their own amusement. (Or disguising Themself as "just another Fool.")

— Aha has to play by the same rules and exist in the same forms, hence Sampo having to comply with said rules.

— What’s the point if there isn’t a challenge?

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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ જ⁀➴ thanks for reading to the end!

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© analysis by sunderingstars. do not copy, repost, translate, modify, or claim my work as your own.

[philtstone]

at last: part two

Summary: It’s lined paper, torn out of a notebook, maybe even one of AJ’s for school. Scrawled over the top in Bucky’s familiar block-letter handwriting it reads:

DR N EXERCISE (WRITE TO HELP WITH WORDS – SORT OF???)

WHAT I WOULD TELL QUEEN RAMONDA & FAMILY ABOUT SARAH

Or, Bucky finally proposes. Well -- he's planning on it, anyway. Good thing Sarah's occupied with other things.

The long and short of it is, Sarah gets migraines now.

That’s what the doctor says. The hard facts are that first off, she has lived a very stress filled life. Second she is nearing fifty; women’s hormones are silly things. Third, well, sometimes bodies and personalities don’t quite get along.

Sarah, says Dr. Jean. She has been their family doctor since Sarah was thirteen. She showed Sarah how condoms worked. She drove AJ to the hospital once when he had stomach flu and Sarah was in New Orleans chasing after a business license, and otherwise barely holding it together. Sarah, honey, you know you been getting headaches for a while now. This ain’t news.

Sarah has spent the last five minutes pursing her lips hard at the child’s finger painting decorating Dr. Jean’s office and crossing and uncrossing her arms. Headaches are fine and well, everyone gets ‘em. This is different. This means she sometimes won’t be able to take care of herself. 

“Yes,” Dr. Jean says wryly. “Good thing you got that man of yours around. I imagine you don’t just keep him for his looks.”

Dr. Jean is sixty and allowed to say things like that. Sarah grumbles the whole way home from the doctor’s office anyway.

At home, the house is empty. Her appointment was scheduled for her day off, which doesn’t overlap with Bucky’s; he’s at work, probably bored out of his mind from the paperwork for the new charter boat – it’s two counties over and they will have to drive out to get it – but also having the time of his life teasing the new dock hires with Carlos. They have one of them convinced that super serum has you growing too much hair in weird places, and if you’re not careful it can become a medical condition.

Poor Isaac. Not too sharp, Sarah thinks, but he’s good with his hands and knows how a boat works. Anyway, between Carlos and Bucky the old man seniority cards are unfairly stacked; any moderately respectful kid’s at risk of being gullible. 

It isn’t that she begrudges Bucky his silliness – God knows he’s earned it – but just now she is in a bad and self-pitying mood, so the thought of him does not make her smile as it usually would. Cass and AJ are at school and she has the whole house to herself. Her plan was to get some cleaning done. Instead, Sarah pours herself a glass of wine, plants herself at the kitchen table, paints half the toenails on her left foot and has a small, angry cry. 

She has given up on the task and is mopping the living room when Sheira calls.

“Well just come on out tonight, then. We can take Mylene with us and have a few drinks.”

“Sheira, forreal, I got work tomorrow.”

“I didn’t say get drunk. Anyway, you know those businesses of yours are thriving. Honey, forreal, you got a secretary now. I called the other day and some guy picked up on your behalf. That means you got it figured.”

Sarah makes a face. “Yeah, Mo’s a’ight.”

“B convinced you to hire one, didn’t he. Good for him, I don’t think another damn soul could’ve managed.”

Sarah’s already feeling some clingy way about her independence, so Sheira’s insightfulness begets a very grown-up pout.

“I was gonna distribute the load!” Sarah protests.

“Sarah, since Big C died, you have distributed the load only once, in a moment of desperation, when your big brother brought that darling white man home. Otherwise, you remain the most stubbornly independent woman I have ever known, may the good Lord and Baby Jesus and half this tiny ass town stand witness.”

Sarah, done mopping, stows the Swiffer and leaves the floor to dry. She collects her nail polish and her wine and stomps upstairs, tidying as she goes. She says, “Babies can’t stand, Sheira.”

“Oh my God –”

Eventually, they do get around to the issue at hand.

Read more on Ao3

Chapter 1

"i found a dream” series

[toribookworm22]

And a return happy STS to you!

Okay! Pick 3-4 of your favorite characters you've ever made. They can be from current works, past works, one offs, whatever. Got them? Good! They are at the County Fair! This place has all your standard US attractions. Elephant Ears, Funnel Cake, a Ferris wheel, scary house/maze, etc. What is everyone doing until the BIG FIREWORK SHOW in the evening? For the sake of ease, all attractions are free (came with price of admission) and everyone has like 100 bucks to spend on food, drink, souvenirs, or whatever.

If you feel like there would be some date action, there is also a Tunnel of Love of course.

Get silly and fanfictiony with it!

Hey, love! Thanks for the ask!

My picks are:

Tomas, Rolyn, & Maybelle all from The Animatronic Saga. Ready?

I'm starting to think was a terrible idea.

Not many people could've convinced me to come here in the first place, what with the merriment and the noise and the people, but I have an annoyingly large soft spot for the boys that they are now willing to abuse.

Rolyn brushes his pinkie against mine, signal for: Can I grab your hand?

Yeah. Soft spot, all right.

I grip his palm in mine, maybe a little tighter than necessary. "You alright?"

"Fine." My voice has gone reedy.

We step forward in the little line to ride the Ferris Wheel. I risk a glance up at it. Nope. Still looks like a death trap up close. My fingers start tapping against the back of Rolyn's hand.

"Okay, tough guy." He draws the hands we're holding up and around my shoulder-- no, I'm not sure how-- and tugs me out of the line.

Tomas sidles up on my other side. "Not like we have to ride it, Maybelle."

"What?" I feel so small between them and not just because I'm so much shorter. "We can ride it if you want to. I don't mind."

Tomas grins, eyes glinting. "Nice try. This is your first fair and we're only doing what you want to do. So what's first?"

Turned away from the giant death wheel, I'm now face to face with the rest of the monstrosity fair. Overlapping sounds echo from the line of games to our left. There's a few other rides to our right. And dead ahead: "I'm hungry. You hungry?"

Rolyn finally releases my hand, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a neat fold of cash. "Let's go, party people!"

I get one of those too-big-to-hold pretzels and a slushie that tastes more like pure caffeine then a coke. Behind the stand is a ring of picnic tables. I snag the one not already sticky, laying down a few napkins so my pretzel won't spill out onto the wood when it enevitably slips from its paper sleeve.

The first bite isn't half bad. "You've gotta dip it in the cheese," Tomas says, holding out a little plastic container of.

Nose scrunching up, I hesitantly do. "Whatever that is, it's not cheese." I grimace but let it into my mouth and- "Adenrore, that is yummy."

"Told you," Tomas laughs, taking a sip of Rolyn's Sprite.

Rolyn steals it back with a squawk. "Hands off my drink, you gremlin!"

Tomas just turns to me, making Granby hands at my slushie. "What flavor d'you get?"

Shrugging, I slide him the cup. He takes a dip then smacks his lips. "What is that?"

"Was supposed to be coke."

"That is not coke."

Rolyn extends a hand. "Let me try." Takes a sip. "That could be coke."

"Blasphemy." Tomas snatches back my drink. Slurps some more. "Nope. I don't know what it is." Takes another sip.

"Oh my gosh, you have your coding own!"

They both start to laugh, taking bites out of their own snacks. About halfway through my pretzel, my anxiety finally starts fading out. And since there's no way I'm going to finish the whole thing...

"Who's up for some games?"

...

The ground slips away from our feet, the bench swaying a little in the warm wind. There's a giant turtle cushioned on my lap, Rolyn and Tomas’s held hands sitting on top of it. I take a deep breath.

"Yeah?"

I nod, eyes locked on the where the last bits of sunset are. "Yeah. I'm okay."

The boys each lean a little closer into me. "Proud of you, Maybelle."

We stop at the top for a moment. The sky goes dark and there, from the field, they start firing off the fireworks. I've seen several countries and another planet, visited Caverns and traveled through a night sky of stars.

But this is pretty coding beautiful.

[nyxokal]

So I finished Diamond is Unbreakable

I typed one of these for Stardust Crusaders ages ago when I finished it and I wanted to do the same for DiU since like, my reactions to this one were so Big and visceral. Long post ahead!!

Again a disclaimer that I have been livetweeting JJBA in this thread, and specifically from here onwards was my DiU livetweet if you wanna experience it. It might provide some context but I'll be sure to add most of what you "need" to know here as screenshots anyway

What I liked

First things first the back and forth mood between tension and funny moments dot com was actually kind of nice, in retrospect? It really did do for a nice change of pace from the absurdity of SC and brought me back a lil to how BT handled its mood. Granted this is also a bit of a negative for me as well but I felt this flowed better than it did in Stardust Crusaders, so much so that the dychotomy really did feel earned

I genuinely did love the characters also!! I have Four (4) that were my favourites, but a lot of them brought at least SOMETHING to the table. There's a big problem again of Araki having way too many characters at once and introducing too many and making them less developed as a result, and a lot of them are one-off, but at the very LEAST he manages to pull what I called a Ducktales 2017 and mix and match different characters together

I think a good part of why this worked at all is how things were contained to just Morioh, which means everyone has to interact one way or another. It's a small town, everyone is neighbours, which means there WILL be overlap. I think that was a brilliant idea for Araki since he likes making way too many OCs so, this worked, in a way

Also, Josuke and Okuyasu's friendship… I was legitimately sold on it. I like how it felt like it developed over time and they found a common ground, because that is exactly how it was depicted and how it felt. But I really liked it, it made the last few episodes hit HARD for me. I deadass felt Josuke's rage. He was devastated and covering it up with anger

That brings me to Josuke. I was also on the fence about Josuke for a long time, but he won me over in the end. He's a lot like Joseph (I'll fucking get to that) which was a welcome change from Jotaro, and I do think I prefer characters with his energy. But he's a lot less like... mature, I'd say? Than Joseph was (and that's saying something), and that helps them both be distinct from one another. I think Josuke utilizes his anger to cover up for a lot of emotions he doesn't like or doesn't want to feel, and to push himself through situations that need it, but he's really a chill guy, if stupid. I like that about him

Oh wait, back up, speaking of Jotaro. I like how DiU utilized him a LOT in the sense that it recontextualized what he went through in SC, what he is like now, and the way he copes, which is in no way. I really liked his relationship with Koichi, actually. And I wish he'd been actually Josuke's like dad or something bc not only do I think that would've been a much much more interesting story, I also think the dynamic between him and Josuke was rather underutilized and adding this change of them being estranged father and son would've been a good way to toy with it, considering weird Joestar bonds have been a thing before

This man is so traumatized it's not even funny

I liked the presentation of it all, the creative use of Stands, the silliness, the mystery at the end, a LOT of it. I think DiU is a good part. I just have to tell you what I hated next

What I didn't like

Joseph.

If you go through the thread you see that the IMMEDIATE reaction I had to the bastard child twist was to get pissed and stop watching. I don't know why this had to be a thing, it's just so stupid. Can we seriously have no Joestar relationships that aren't a direct descendant kinda thing here? It's part of why I wish Josuke had been Jotaro's son instead, or at the very fucking least, a cousin. It's more interesting, but Araki barely even used Joseph anyway. He's senile for crying out loud. There's not a lot he CAN do, and everyone knows it--he's only there to further convince me that Araki hates him

Oh, also? Fuck Yukako and the way the show pushed her and Koichi together. Like, WHY? Why did that make sense in your head, Araki? Because it doesn't. I'm fully convinced Koichi is under Cinderella's influence even though Aya's dead. Shoo. Fuck Yukako.

I also felt like a lot of episodes were just there to drag the plot out and the quality of the Part was like... a rollercoaster. I could be watching a great episode one moment, then a shitty one next. Also, the story really only picked up with the introduction of Reimi and the Kira mystery, and I resent it for that because it really did feel like we were just fucking around wasting time before that, but I also recognize that Araki DID use the start of the Part to lay down a lot of groundwork and worldbuilding--it's just that he did a piss poor job at making it interesting

Also while I'm ambivalent on it, the fact that so many characters were introduced as total freaks and then they mellowed out and became like, relatively normal... why? All it did was make me hesitant to like some characters, like Yukako, Hayato, and Rohan. Rohan became one of my favourites and I still could not stop thinking about how he almost killed Koichi (although I did think him thinking that Koichi was his best friend after a long time passed was honestly kind of adorable?)

Another thing I am disappointed about was that flashback that Josuke had where a really injured man with a pompadour pushed the car out of the snow. EVERYTHING was pointing to that being Josuke. That was Josuke and you CANNOT convince me otherwise--he was way too stylized as him to not have been. And then nothing came of it!! I'm disappointed!!! Like, mnior I guess but that had me on the edge of my seat the ENTIRE show!! I was so ready!!!!! That was so!!! It would have said a lot about Josuke's self love!!!! I am mad that we fucking lost it!!!!!!

LIKE THIS IS JOSUKE. THIS WOULD'VE BEEN SO FUCKING COOL. WE'VE ALREADY FUCKED WITH TIME ONCE WE CAN DO IT AGAIN

Ugh anyway

I liked Kira as a villain but I feel like he was kind of underutilized. When the show introduced his dad, I started to feel the exhaustion of yet another bumbling moron except this time, it wasn't even a bumbling moron I liked. The guy was just... an annoyance both mechanically and as a character. Kira playing house was interesting and his weird relationship w his fake wife and kid was something I Wished got explored more, because when he had to go into hiding... god that was tense. The problem is we didn't get to see him hide much

Final Thoughts

I think Araki improved a lot on what made Part 3 so flawed and decided to take a page out of his Part 2 book for what worked there, and made something pretty solid. Part 4 is still really flawed, but I must admit it is a general improvement on what he's laid down on the table. This energy is fantastic, I just wish he'd reign it in a little and not get so carried away

Anyway, I don't have a LOT of thoughts on Part 4 actually, so I'll end this post by showing you the blorbos I made in this Part

I'm looking forward to Golden Wind, actually. I want to meet everyone. Everyone says I'll like everyone, but mostly Bruno and Narancia, so here's to me meeting them!!

[electrivolt]

poke.mon Favourites!

FIRST GAME: yellow, it was my first console as well getting the gameboy color! fun fact i had a pikachu limited edition one that for the life of me i haven’t been able to find anywhere, it had pikachu and pichu on the sides and one of pikachu’s cheeks was overlapping with the on/off light of the gameboy, and it was semi transparent. it was cool as fuck i miss that gameboy :(

FAVOURITE SPINOFF GAME: mystery dungeons and rangers, to be even more exact explorers of sky and shadows of almia/guardian signs. mystery dungeons was my silly childhood dream of getting to play exclusively as a ‘mon and when i first played rangers it blew my mind how different it was and yet how cool it all was, both gameplay, story and the setting itself because getting to be a ranger was one of the coolest things i could think of. i still think a lot about those games they were just so good. 

FAVOURITE EVIL TEAM: team galactic, always team galactic, they still seem like one of the best teams to me to this day. they feel like one of the most actually dangerous teams of the games i’ve played that actually shows it, the lake bombing still sticks in my mind with how memorable that was not to mention spear pillar!! great team 10/10 nothing will top it for me

FAVOURITE TEAM LEADER: painfully obvious but cyrus, i could go on a 1 hour yt video essay on why he’s in my humble opinion the best team leader out there. i just think he’s neat and his ideals are smth wild and yummy to explore

FAVOURITE STARTER: rowlet because i love decidueye and ghosts are some of my favorites all around, but like. i could pick one for most gens. i love totodile i love turtwig i love snivy. help.

FAVOURITE BOX LEGENDARY: giratina. that’s my favorite legendary all around it’s never gonna be topped really

FAVOURITE POKEMON: can’t pick just one and go but i can narrow it down to very few ones actually excluding legendaries- luxray for sure, the whole line really but like. i love lux isn’t that obvious. big electric cat my beloved. mimikyu is another BIG one, i love mimikyu to death it’s just a lil guy that wants to be loved just a cute lil ghost that did nothing wrong AND THEN there’s gengar i love that mf it was actually my fave ghost type before mimikyu came along. espeon particularly is also a big fave though i don’t? really know why somehow?? but it’s my favorite eevolution all around. AND hisuian form zoroark i love that bastard ( to volkner’s dismey :) ) it’s such a cool regional variant concept ok-

if i had to mention legendaries ( other than gira ) there’s the obvious zappy bird and i’ll admit the galarian version is also p cool, the dogs are also pretty cool and lugia is one of my big favorites as well. there’s probably a few more but between technicalities of legendary vs mythical and all i can’t just sit here naming everyone

FAVOURITE PROFESSOR: admittedly i don’t really pay too much attention to the professors usually, but i think it’s rowan, i’d like him to be my grandpa

FAVOURITE RIVAL: barry my dear adhd crackhead child. i do remember using to like hugh a whole lot too as a kid when i first played bw2 but i cannot for the life of me remember why. i have to replay those games

FAVOURITE CHAMPION: cynthia! she’s always been great and so memorable, i just can’t help but be attached to her especially as my first “real” elite 4 challenge. steven is pretty close too for being weird

FAVOURITE CHARACTER (if not already covered): for obvious reasons it’s volk here but roark is neat too :) ( also for obvious reasons ). grusha and allister too though i got attached to these weird lil guys and i rlly want to go back to writing them if the mental illness allows me

FAVOURITE STORY: MMMMH WELL. i love the original dppt a whole lot, bw is also something i’m attached to a lot for many reasons, so i’d say those two are tied. i do have to add legends though because that fucked so hard

FAVOURITE MUSIC: i don’t. really pay attention a lot to the music but i guess the gym leader theme in galar is neat. some other stuff like the poke.mas remix kinda count too honestly and i really like some of the stuff in the og gen4

FAVOURITE REGION OVERALL: sinnoh all around. by extention hisui as well, like sinnoh already held a special place for me because it felt so alive and special with that care put into what is its own culture and the dedication to legendaries, and i love to have gotten hisui and to get to see the origins of so much of current sinnoh. unova is also a big favorite nearly as close to sinnoh with how much character it has and i have a lot of good memories of those games

[transrightsyamaguchi]

thoughts on volume 10 of real:

the flashback scene made my heart beat just as fast as it did when the events happened in volume one. god kiyoharu is so fucking cool. i love this man even though he's got a Fuck Ass Haircut Now.

also takahashi's eyes are glowing. that's so cute holy shit. nothing else about this young man is "cute" except maybe his emo hair but the way he turns into an excited kitty with dilated pupils when he's presented the opportunity to play basketball again. he's so cute.

little bit of kiyoharu angst!! he's going for his checkup, and we get a Long, Tense, Drawn Out Scene of him waiting to find out if he has cancer again.

and he does not. he's okay. he's so silly.

kiyoharu 🤝 me getting blood drawn all the fucking time

shit has not hit the fan yet for kiyoharu but good lord it looks like it's about to. and i hope it does because i need to see this boy cry. we have complete radio silence from yama which does not bode well, and azumi has applied to a university overseas. the consequences of these have not hit kiyoharu yet but this boy has a big storm coming.

he and azumi are Still Not Together and if this subplot doesn't end in an airport confession scene I Swear. To God.

i thought nomiya would simply not have the tokyo lightnings tryouts in the bag and it would be another of his silly little misadventures but he might actually do it that sick bastard. other than the fact that his tendency to punch his problems has flared up again and he may have lost his practice buddies. aka the college his old upperclassman goes to that nomiya just walked into like he was on the team. he's getting good again! but the overlap between "point guard" and "head coach" is once again showing up.

as time goes on i'm becoming less and less sure of this prediction but i'm sticking with it until i get definitively proven wrong.

showing up at his high school graduation and stealing the valedictorian speech, however, may not have been the best move of his.

takahashi is scared to try basketball again, but he Has to. this is his biggest breakthrough so far and on some level he knows it. he's still wrestling with his self-doubt, but his self-awareness is getting sharper. hara has picked up on this, and she knows a guy.

and here come the dreams (the tigers' rival team) practicing in the rehabilitation hospital's gym. i was hoping takahashi would join the tigers but honestly? if he was their rival? that would be fun. he'd get a rematch against nomiya and kiyoharu.

takahashi's community is growing. he's getting introduced to more and more Cool Disabled People, and that's spurring his character development. he's got the influence of hanasaki, who was the first other disabled person he actually tried to connect with, and shiratori, who's set a Goal and is determined to achieve it and not afraid to air out his own insecurities at what is probably Full Volume in the Middle Of The Fuck-Ass Gym. and now he's seen the dreams practice---he got to watch a room full of Cool Disabled People do The Thing He Likes, and he got a little seed of encouragement from one of them.

we find out in like. volume 2. that this player is a class 1 player like takahashi would be. i wonder if that was intentional foreshadowing or if the writer just remembered that detail and went "hmm i can use this for a second purpose"

good things are on the horizon for takahashi. i was right about his character development being So Satisfying.

side note: i often jot down ideas as soon as i finish the volume and then go take a shower and have bedtime so i can generate literary analysis thoughts. here's what the first draft of this post looked like:

[wolf-queer-discourse]

Adventures in Aphobia #3

My last two Adventures in Aphobia both took on similar flavors of eye-rolling at shameless, obvious bigotry to anyone willing to look or care. But today, I found a different type of aphobia, and I’m actually eager to talk about this one. Have a read of this first.

Look, the bar of respect for ace people is so low it’s all the way in hell, but I mean, to many people, especially allosexual people, they may look at this post and think, “No, this isn’t aphobia. The poster wasn’t blatantly cruel.” But what some fail to realize is that politeness can be the thinnest of veils over the ugliest of takes. Polite bigotry gaslights the victims into thinking they can’t be upset about this.

So what’s the deal with this post?

PARAGRAPH #1 starts off innocently enough, saying ace discourse wouldn’t exist if people recognized complex relationships to sex and relationships. Even taken on its own, I do not agree with this. Ace discourse ranges all the way from outright denial of asexual existence to the strong hatred for and exclusion of aces from the queer community. Nearly everyone recognizes people have complex relationships to sex...that...that doesn’t mean ace people won’t be discriminated against. In fact, it’s an argument aphobes use constantly to try and gaslight ace people into erasing themselves. Ace discourse comes from a lot of places, but at the end of the day, it all stems from people’s refusal to acknowledge ace people and their unique experiences. This poster absolutely does not get to say “IT’s CoMpLicAteD”, and expect ace people to just disappear. Honestly, it’d be better and more honest if they said “Lol, ace people should go fuck themselves and hop to the back of the line with everyone else.”

PARAGRAPH #2 and #3 are not very objectionable on their own. Everything said is true. Society has very complicated views on sex, and life happens to all people. The ugly part of this is that the poster is setting up an argument here in which they will hand wave ace people into the “everyone else” crowd and pretend as if we’re all just too similar and no labels should even exist.

This is literally what enby-phobes do. They say “Well, gender is COMPLICATED”, which is true, but then they say “So like...aren’t we all really nonbinary when we think about it? Why should enby people label themselves?” I swear we’ve all seen this. The poster is agender. This argument could easily be whipped in their face. Different forms of bigotry can share very clear overlaps, and it’s very important to acknowledge where these arguments come from and why they exist. It exists as a way to shut people up. It happens to bi people too! Every day, people come out as bi and someone tells them “pff, everyone thinks girls are hot. I had a crush on my best friend once, that doesn’t mean I’m not straight! All people are like this!” Let’s call out this erasure where we see it. It’s not the same thing, and if anyone saying stuff like this truly believes what they’re saying, maybe they’re the ones who need to reevaluate their own identity.

PARAGRAPH #4 dips its ugly toes straight into blatant aphobia, having the gall to call ace and aro people “obsessed” with pretending their relationships with sex and romance are wholly unique and different. Nah, fuck right off with that bullshit. The poster even goes on to say ace people have created entire new social classes. Uh...WHAT? Is there some secret ace society with a caste system living in the shadows?? What is this person talking about?? I suppose you can’t be a true bigot unless you have some vague grievance to weakly hand-gesture at that you couldn’t prove given 20 years to do so. For the love of my sanity, just say you hate ace people! It’s okay! (I mean, not actually, but Jesus Christ does it save us all some time). They also say things like “somehow excluded from”. Replace asexual people with nonbinary people and take a joyride through this section, because the arguments are scarily similar. What would it take for this poster to acknowledge ace and aro people have their own experiences? Seriously, what? What holds you back from doing this?

It’s also funny to note the actual lack of substance to this argument. The poster is not giving any specific examples or even bringing up what being ace and aro mean. Yes, there is a pretty noticeable difference between feeling sexual attraction and not feeling sexual attraction. How many “allo” people do you know that say they’ve NEVER experienced this? Come on. The poster reduces asexuality and aromanticism down to allo people’s, in their own words, hyper-specific contexts where they don’t want sex or love. At least the poster admits any circumstance that allo people are comparable to ace people are extremely specific. But for real, are we hinging a whole argument on a few very specific examples of allo people having some similarity to ace people?

“Nothing about your relationship to sex or love makes you more or less LGBT. If you are gay and don’t want to have sex, ever, you are still gay. “

Mini strawman alert for the idea any ace person thinks you’re less gay if you’re also ace. And bonus points for an aphobe who refuses to use the definition of asexuality: not experiencing sexual attraction, and instead goes for “don’t want to have sex”. For the last. Fucking. Time. Not wanting to have sex and being asexual are NOT the same. Don’t make me pour gasoline in my eyes every time I see this.

After this, the poster goes on a tangent, which by the tone, seems to think it's very inspiring, and says no matter how you want to have sex (including only certain days of the week), you’re still straight! It’s so fucking condescending and gross to talk ace people out of their own identity like this.

“EVERY person who is heterosexual is different in how they perform or experience.”

Oh. My. GOD. THEY DIDN’T EVEN SAY STRAIGHT. THEY SAID HETEROSEXUAL. WUGGYUEGYUG. God help me. Can one be both bisexual and heterosexual? No…? Okay. So then. How is one both asexual AND heterosexual? What single brain cell in this poster’s head was responsible for this Chad of a sentence? I—

*deep breath* 

So. It’s interesting how the poster says “perform or experience it”. Asexuality is an identity. It is not a performance, and it is not defined by your actions. A straight person not having sex does not become asexual. And sure...people with the same label can experience their sexuality differently, but...to a point, guys. You can’t experience your sexuality out of the DEFINITION of the label. Heterosexual: Sexual attraction to the opposite gender. Asexual: Sexual attraction to no one. If a “heterosexual” isn’t sexually attracted to anyone, they are by definition, not heterosexual. It takes insane mental gymnastics to make this argument, so A for flexibility, I guess? 

“Gayness, straightness, and bisexuality are not defined by HOW you do or don’t want sex or HOW you do or don’t want to date, it’s just defined by WHO you want to be with.”

The first part of the sentence is correct, but it also defeats this person’s entire argument. Ace people AGREE with this. Being asexual is not the act of not having sex!! It’s not experiencing sexual attraction! You can google this! The second part of the sentence is mostly correct, depending on your interpretation. The issue is in part with the words the poster used: gayness, straightness and bisexuality. These words are not all equivalents. Gay could refer to sexual and or romantic orientation. Thus an ace gay person. Straightness is not actually an equal word to gayness. This is because straight is an exclusive term for a normative sexuality (in society’s eyes) in terms of sexual and romantic attraction. Some ace people DO call themselves straight, though it’s inaccurate. Ace people can be heteroromantic, but because being straight is so exclusive, you need to be both sexually AND romantically attracted to only the opposite gender.

The post basically ends telling ace people they’re all actually straight and were just confused the whole time. Lovely. And an erasure of gay aces too! Believe it or not, gay ace people do not like having their ace identities erased. Who’d have guessed?

Honestly, if anything this post is just kind of sad. A sad reflection of what people believe and how they truly do not see their own bigotry. They believe they’re freeing ace people from an incorrect label. They’re the heroes.

They’ll say “it’s okay, you’re not asexual” as if they've like...lifted a burden off of ace people. Like, “Oh, you think I’m not asexual? Cool, cool. Glad you cleared that up for me!” It’s sad how aphobes think, some very genuinely, that asexuality is just some high school party that went off the rails, and we’re all just coming out of the drunken haze, ready to go home. Ready to all laugh about it later, tease one another about how wild and silly it all was. 

Having your identity erased like this is fucking horrible, and I hope people like this can take a look in the mirror and see themselves clearly. All ace and aro people have a right to their identity, whether gay, bi, heteroromantic or anything else. End of story.

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 10 “The Elevator” [Episode List] After visiting a friend’s house, Tim and the gassy-as-usual Dave take a really slow elevator together.

The Elevator

I took a quick sip of beer as our friend Adam left the living room to get another can in his fridge. What was left was a weirdly awkward silence and Dave, with his own beer, glaring at me.

“Dude,” he whispered. “It’s been a hour. I thought you were gonna tell him.”

I chose Adam as the first non-Dave bud to come out to, but it ended up being surprisingly hard to do. It’s not like Dave was forcing me or anything, or that Adam was a bad person; on the contrary, Dave was simply there with me as my emotional support in case things go south (but we both know they won’t) and Adam was, well, just Adam. Dave’s rightful reaction to me not coming out as planned didn’t bother me and as I said he wasn’t there to intimidate a confession out of me.

“Look, I don’t feel ready, okay?”

“You’ve been talking about the weather for 20 minutes.” he hissed. “What’s next? Geology?”

I chuckled. “Actually, this reminds me that they found this weird rock in South Amer-“

“I can’t believe this.”

“What’s not to believe? You take a big shovel and-“

“And I’m gonna dig my own grave if you start talking about rocks.”

I chuckled again. I know he wasn’t really mad.

Annoyed? Maybe. But mad? Nah, that’s a stretch.

He had all the rights to be annoyed though, but in the end it was my decision to make and he knew this.

We kept whispering as we heard Adam rummaging the fridge like some kind of raccoon longing for a cold drink.

“Look.” I said. “it’s late now anyway. Let’s just leave. Sorry I wasted your time.”

“Fine.” he replied. “Let’s finish our beers first at least.”

“That goes without saying.” and I took a long sip.

Truth is that I hadn’t any real reason to hide my homosexuality from Adam or any other of my buds actually. First, we’re in our 20s, we’re all mature and open-minded here. And in the end, excluding the whole fart-thing going on with Dave, they were all like him, chill guys. Adam, despite always sounding like someone who wants to have none of your shit, or anyone’s shit really, more than once proved that it’s just a facade and not-so-deep down he’s always ready to listen and back you up whenever you needed it. He did just listen to me talking about the weather for 20 minutes, so either he’s fascinated by the subject or knows I’m trying to tell him something else and is just patiently waiting.

The thought of wasting both of my buds’ time in a way or another kind of bothered me to be honest, so I was more than okay with wrapping things up and just leave, which me and Dave did mere minutes later.

“See you bro.” my bud said to Adam, standing by the door, as we went outside in the hallway, not far from the stairs and the elevator “Tim wants to talk about rocks so I’m taking him out of here before he kills you with boredom.”

“The one they dug up in Colombia?” Adam asked, much to our surprise.

“Yeah.” I answered. “They know it’s andesite but it has some interesting carvings on the surface and-“

A startled “What the fuck.” from Dave echoed in the hallway and the entire apartment building.

“What the fuck indeed.” Adam uttered, rather excitedly, completely missing the point. “This could change the archeo-history of the entire region.”

“I heard enough.” Dave said as he walked towards the elevator.

Both me and the other rock-enthusiast laughed at his reaction.

“By the way, I’m going to join you for a bit as I gotta walk the dog.” Adam remembered, reaching for a leash behind him.

“We’ll see you outside then.” Dave replied and then turned to me. “Tim, elevator, now.” he ordered.

“You sure, guys? You remember that thing is slow as shit, right?”

“We’ll be fine.” my bud said, patting my back. “I guess I’ll make Tim last longer then.” he joked.

“That only happens when you call me ‘daddy’” I joked back, as we walked towards the elevator, leaving our common friend behind.

“Rrrright.” Adam said. “I’ll get the dog while you two solve your sexual tension. See you outside.”

I pressed the button to summon the lift, Dave’s arm still around my shoulder as if he had something to show me. Truth to be told, I somehow knew where this was going.

As the panels of the door opened, we stepped into the elevator cab. I pressed the “G” on the control panel. I heard a mechanical noise and the elevator started its long, slow descent (we were at the 10th floor), after the doors closed behind us of course.

It was a cold evening and the cab wasn’t any warmer. I turned to Dave, who was wearing a dark blue hoodie and a pair of grey jeans. He looked at me with a smirk, hands in his jeans pockets; he raised his eyebrows and, without warning, a loud thunder echoed in that enclosed moving space.

The roaring fart had a slow start, with some interruptions, actually a sign for how big it was, but Dave, being an expert, quickly tamed the gassy beast and properly “tuned” the sound of the blast after a couple of seconds, keeping a consistent pitch, while also making it sound loud and deep. It felt like he was ripping one of those huge “when the girl finally leaves” farts, only, well, Dave-sized, which is always a sight to behold… hear? In this case there was no girl so he probably simply held all of his farts in to not ruin “the moment”, in case I wanted to come out back at Adam’s place (with beer acting as a bonus fuel).

A silly smile was drawn on my bro’s face as the fart kept going strong and proud, sometimes reaching some incredibly loud moments. He chuckled a bit and even winked at me when the blast made some particularly “meaty” noises, if that makes any sense. The fart was impressive on his own but Dave “interacting” with me while still masterfully passing gas was incredible as well (and, of course, hot).

The number 6 on the control panel lightened up and only in that moment I realized two things: the first being that the elevator was indeed slow as fuck; the second is that around 40 seconds passed and neither Dave nor his fart “flinched”. I was widely aroused by that and I felt the air around us getting more and more “polluted”, but not in an unbearable way actually. The blast kept echoing inside the elevator and I’m pretty sure that it could have been easily heard, albeit a bit muffled, by anyone taking the stairs.

Dave farted in my face many times, but no fart reached the length and power of this one, which is saying a lot. My bud’s butt-burps normally last around 6-12 seconds and don’t get me wrong they’re amazing, but man, maybe this one rip would have been too much to endure even for me: it simply wouldn’t stop. It’s like there was a loud engine in the elevator which couldn’t be turned off as I couldn’t hear anything else.

I was instead the opposite of turned off and teasing bastard Dave Maning knew this and, as usual, had no issue with it. At this point it was a race between Dave’s longest fart and the world’s slowest elevator.

We were now at the 3rd floor and my bud probably wanted to do a “big finale”; he was visibly pushing the blast out now, as if he wanted it to last as long as possible, a smirk still drawn on his face. He closed his eyes and the sound made it look like another fart was ripped over the sound of the previous fart, as if two audio channels in his ass somehow overlapped. The sound was of course louder than ever; the smell now, and only now, getting a bit hard to get used to. But to be honest, Dave’s skills as a sound designer alone were impressive enough.

A big part of me, mainly the one between my legs, wanted to get on my knees and plant my face in his denim ass before the fart faded out, but I knew that would have been too much even for such a chill guy like him. I’m sure he wouldn’t hate me or anything at this point but we both know there are some untold boundaries and honestly it’s better this way. I know how lucky I am to have someone like him around (farts or not).

My farting bro probably read my mind as he slowly turned around and got closer, again without affecting the fart’s quality and, being a bit taller then me, basically farted on the upper part of my hip. It almost made my entire body shake due to its power and it felt good. Now I really wanted to bend down as if I was tying my shoes but what stopped me this time was also the thought of… not surviving. I was familiar with Dave’s farts but this was absurdly powerful even for him.

And finally, as Dave resumed his previous position, again looking at me, the fart stopped, followed by my friend letting out a relieved whistle, and then an immature cackle.

Not even 2 seconds after that the elevator reached its destination, stopping as well. I jokingly clapped my hand and shook my head in disbelief. “Bravo!” I said, as if I just watched some fancy stage play.

Dave simply smiled and turned his back at me to face the exit, as we both waited for the just-as-slow panel doors to open.

“At least not all the time here was wasted.” he laughed.

“Bro, we had a beer together. That’s never a waste of time for me.” I replied.

“Wow. Rocks, gay and cringe. You got it all, Tim!” he replied.

We both laughed at me being needlessly cheesy and finally stepped out of that gas chamber. Someone stepped in the cab as we left it and the doors closed, leaving us in the hallway at the ground floor. We heard muffled coughing noises almost immediately and we laughed again, as we knew the disgusting reason. Poor, innocent soul.

“Ok but bro” Dave then said, looking a bit more serious. “You gotta do it someday. Trust me you can trust all of us.”

“I know man.” I replied, as we walked towards the exit “Next time I meet Adam, doesn’t matter where and when, I’m gonna tell him that I’m gay.”

My voice echoed in the building and through the stairs, but I didn’t care.

“You’re… gay?”

Okay, I cared.

We both turned around, puzzled.

It was Adam, right behind us (with this dog on leash), descending one last set of stairs before ending up in front of us. Somehow he’s been slower than the elevator, which both me and Dave found hilarious but I also had other emotions going on that moment.

Dave patted my shoulder encouragingly and stepped back: it was my time to shine.

“Yep.” I simply said. “I wanted to tell you hours ago but I didn’t have the guts to do it.”

Adam just stared at me with a confused expression.

I didn’t feel as nervous as I anticipated. “Yes, Dave knows it…” I quickly added, noticing him staring at my other straight bud. “And I asked him to not tell anyone.”

A moment of silence followed and those always feel like they last hours.

“I mean you two clearly have been dating each other for years” Adam joked. “So it’s no surprise, really.”

“WHAT WE HAVE IS SPECIAL!” Dave shouted, jokingly faking a desperate reaction.

I simply laughed and before I could process how well everything was going I felt Adam doing something very unusual for him: he hugged me.

“I’m glad you told me, man.” he simply said. “You know you can count on us.”

I know times have changed and all but this felt like a victory. Every time I’m gonna come out to a friend of mine it’s one step closer to the peak of a mountain and once at the top I will finally-

“Fuck, I forgot my phone.” Adam said, patting his pockets. “I’ll just take the elevato-“

“NOOO!” both me and Dave screamed, knowing that it was still a deadly gas chamber.

Adam simply replied with an annoyed expression and went for the stairs, the dog just behind him.

“Oh hey by the way.” I asked. “What took you so long? You said the elevator was slow but somehow we made it here before you.”

“Don’t underestimate me.” he replied. “It’s just that I heard some weird noises echoing through the stairs and me and another guy tried to understand what it was.”

Dave tried to not to burst into laughter, while I simply smiled like an idiot. Adam and his dog then went up the stairs and left us in silence, not until my gassy bro decided to break it the way he usually does.

A loud fart erupted and echoed through the building, only lasting around 4 seconds this time.

“There it is again!” we heard Adam say, a couple floors above us.

Me and Dave shared an amused look and went outside trying to not laugh like immature idiots. I felt the cold weather all over me, which was relieving considering the gas trap I’ve been trapped into only minutes earlier.

Despite a slow, yet really entertaining elevator ride, and my awkwardness, no time went wasted today.

“I’m proud of you, bro.” Dave said, this time serious, but still smiling.

“Wow.” I replied. “Straight and cringe. You got it all, Dave.” and winked at him.

“Don’t get too cocky now, rock nerd.”

I was rock-hard, to be more precise that’s for sure, but that was a detail I’d take care of later, perhaps thinking back of that absurd elevator ride. Whenever I’m with Dave, I’ll make sure we’re never taking the stairs again.

End of Episode 10

[cablesscutie]

Inspired by @hayleynfoster’s comic and some hilarious headcannons about the littlest steambaby with Hayley and @favlie​

Read it on AO3

1.

The day Avatar Aang comes to meet his second niece, Fire Lord Zuko refuses to let his youngest child out of sight.  Katara rolls her eyes, and reminds her husband that neither of their children had ended up psychologically disturbed because of their flights.  “Not,” she adds, pointing at Aang, “that I am allowing a repeat, but I think just holding her while firmly on the ground will be fine.”

“Mmmm,” Zuko hesitates, curling Kallik closer to his chest.  Her big eyes blink up at the adults guileless from her blanket.  “No.”

“You let Azula hold her!” Aang argues.

“She doesn’t do anything with the babies!” Zuko shoots back.  It’s not strictly true, he knows, but his sister’s ritual with newborns is unsettling in a much different way.  She simply stares deep into each child’s eyes upon being handed them, until some kind of understanding passes between her and the baby.  Results have varied, but the most important part is that there was no threat to life and limb.  

Katara’s raised eyebrow says that she also doesn’t believe Zuko’s words, but she doesn’t say anything.  They are, after all, a united front - to the children, to politicians, to their friends.  In the privacy of their chambers, however, he knows he will be hearing about this.

2.

Katara and Zuko take the kids to spend Kallik’s first birthday at the South Pole.  It’s a tradition they’ve observed with all three, and Zuko always looks forward to going to visit her family.  The house is loud and chaotic, full to bursting with people, the exact opposite of his own lonely childhood.  There is no posturing, and everyone loves and squabbles openly.  On this particular visit, they have overlapped with Aang’s stay with Sokka and Suki, so Gran-Gran’s house is in even more of an uproar than usual by the time Zuko and Katara arrive.

Kya immediately dashes off to coo over her little cousins as they toddle around behind Pakku, pretending to be otter penguins.  Satoshi runs to the kitchen to be showered in kisses and cookies from Gran-Gran.  Hakoda finds them barely out of their parkas and already thoroughly abandoned.

“I could’ve sworn you had at least one other child,” he tells Katara, scratching his head as he pretends to search for his missing grandchildren.  She laughs and hugs her father tight.  Neither of them let go for long moments, and Zuko’s throat feels tight when he notices his father-in-law’s misty eyes.  He looks down at Kallik, thinks of his other two children, and wonders for the thousandth time how Hakoda could ever forgive him for keeping Katara so far away.  It’s why he hands his daughter over easily when her grandfather waggles his fingers expectantly and says, “Alright, give her here.”

Hakoda settles Kallik on his hip with practiced ease, and pulls Zuko into a brief hug with his free arm.  “Good to see you, son.”  

Zuko clears his throat.  “You too,” he says, and Katara laughs softly at his awkward shuffling, amused by how he doesn’t know what to do with his hands without a baby in his arms.  She answers his question by lacing their fingers together as she leads him deeper into the house to find her brother and their friends seated around the hearth fire watching the kids run around.

Hugs are exchanged all around, and Zuko settles into their familiar company.  Hakoda joins them after taking Kallik to say hello to Gran-Gran and Pakku, and bounces the baby on his knee to make her laugh.  Aang makes silly faces at her that have her letting out piercing giggles and reaching out to try and grab at the wooden beads of his necklace.

“Well clearly she’s bored of me,” Hakoda says, making to hand her off to her uncle.  “Here you go -”  Zuko leans over and intercepts.

“Oh no.  No baby catapult,” he says, shaking his head.

Aang gives him a pout to rival Momo.  “Come on, we’re indoors!”  Katara clears her throat, and when Zuko glances over, her eyes are narrowed at him.  With a sigh, he holds Kallik out to Aang.

“Fine.  But I’m watching you.”

3.

Extended family vacations to Ember Island always sound like a good idea to Katara.  At first.  When her husband is burnt out and aching, and the kids are climbing the walls, and she just wants to lie in the sun with a book, it seems like the cure for everything.

And then they arrive.  Somehow, much like she forgets the excruciating pain of childbirth, she never recalls the onslaught of chaos and catastrophe that comes every vacation.  Like the time Sokka got stung by a jelly-ray.  Or the time Suki and Zuko got in a fight about disciplining each other’s kids.  Or the time every single one of the kids managed to get sunburnt and couldn’t sleep.  Every year, it’s always something, and somehow, it usually ends up being at least partially her problem to solve.

This year, though, is somehow turning out alright.  They reach day three without major incident, and almost entirely without tears - a near miracle for a vacation involving five children under the age of ten.

“I’m almost done with my first book already,” she tells Zuko as they rock slowly in a hammock on the deck, whispering in hopes of keeping any listening spirits from knowing that she’s gotten her hopes up.

“Good, you deserve the break,” Zuko says.  He looks on the verge of sleep despite the fact that the sun is still climbing in the sky.  The dark circles beneath his eyes are already faded almost to nothing.  She sighs happily and grabs her book, but before she can actually crack it open, she hears Toph cackling and her Mom Senses light up.  Zuko calls after her in surprise as she leaves the hammock swaying wildly behind her, but she doesn’t look back on her way to the beach.  

When she arrives, it is just in time to see Toph pick up Kallik, a wicked smile on her face.  Sokka and Suki’s twins are further down the beach standing beside Aang, both of them jumping up and down with excitement, waiting for something.

“Go long, Twinkle Toes!”  Katara’s eyes go wide, and faster than should be possible, she reaches them, yanking Kallik out of Toph’s hands.  “Hey!”

“Absolutely not!”  Katara says, scowling.

“I was gonna catch her!”  Aang shouts.  Katara shakes her head.

“This is not happening.  No way.”  Then, silently lamenting the loss of quiet time with her husband, Katara looks at the twins and asks, “Who wants to go get some ice cream?

4.

At Zuko’s request, his birthday is not a big deal with his family.  It’s a combination of the fact that the entire Fire Nation loses its mind about the day anyway, so he is all but forced to spend a day attending a festival in his honor, and the fact that he is used to his birthday being a marker of all the disappointments he has been in the past year.  It is a long-standing compromise with his wife that she is allowed to throw him a small, family-only party, to be kept within the bounds of the garden.  He enjoys the excuse to get everyone together without a barrage of meetings involved, and the rest of their family is so boisterous in comparison to him, he can almost forget that the day has anything to do with him at all.

For his thirtieth birthday, he makes the further concession of allowing Uncle to set up his new phonograph so there could be dancing.  Zuko is manning the crank, watching Katara and Kya swing each other around while Aang sits next to him, flipping through the records looking for the right song.

“Do you have a request too?” Zuko hears him ask, and turns to see Kallik has toddled away from Uncle Iroh and approached the Avatar.  She puts her hands on his knees and starts bouncing, flashing him a smile that shows all of her new teeth.  “You want upsies?” Aang coos, and reaches to scoop her up by the armpits.  Zuko clears his throat loudly, shooting Aang his best murder eyes, and the Avatar shrinks back into the collar of his robes a little.  “What about dance party?”  He lets Kallik grab onto his fingers and starts hopping around with her to the beat, hunched over and both of them giggling.

5.

“Oh Uncle Aaaaang!” Kya sings, striding out into the garden where Appa has just landed. She has Kallik on her hip, and Satoshi follows along at her heels, excited to see Appa and Momo again.  His pockets are already full of lychee nuts for his fuzzy friends.

“Hey guys!” Uncle Aang calls, his gangly arms waving excitedly.  “Are you the welcoming committee now?”  He lands in front of them on a gentle breeze, setting down his bag and grinning broadly.

“Mom and Dad are in a meeting,” Kya informs him.  “But somebody wanted to go for a little flight.”  She hitches the toddler higher and winks conspiratorially.  “If you catch my drift.”  Uncle Aang’s eyes go wide, and he looks between the kids with unease.  Satoshi feels terror grip his throat.  He knew his big sister was crazy, but would she really…?

“Oh I dunno, your Dad was pretty...adamant...that you all are grounded until further notice.”  Satoshi lets out a sigh of relief.

“Dad’s in a meeting,” Kya reiterates, as though being in a meeting involves entering another dimension.  She should know better, her brother thinks to himself.  Mom and Dad always find out when they’re up to no good, and as the sibling who’s usually leading the charge into trouble, Kya should definitely have that figured out by now.  Uncle Aang should absolutely know that by now, but with horor, Satoshi realizes that the Avatar is looking a little bit convinced.  “And we’re not gonna tell on you,” she wheedles.  Speak for yourself, Satoshi thinks, glancing around to see if there are any guards within earshot if he calls for their parents.  Sadly, it seems nobody has realized that the Avatar requires careful supervision.

“Well…” Uncle Aang considers, then comes to his decision, smiling once again.  “Alright, I guess one can’t hurt.  Who’s going?”  

Kya moves to offer Kallik to him, her tiny hands reaching out and making grabby motions.  Satoshi’s world goes into slow-motion.  There’s a roaring in his ears, and as if from outside his body, he hears his own voice say,

“I am.”  Kya and Uncle Aang blink at him, stunned.  Their uncle is the first to recover, and asks,

“Are you sure, kiddo?  I mean, you weren’t the biggest fan when you were a baby…”

“I want to try again,” he makes himself say, despite his sweating palms.  Uncle Aang grins and ruffles his hair.

“That’s the spirit!  You get that from your dad.” 

As his uncle’s hands grab him under the armpits, Satoshi hears Kya mutter, “It’s the self-sacrificing idiot gene,” and then he is gone.  As he soars through the air, he wonders if maybe his body hasn’t even left the ground yet.  He can’t feel anything.  Maybe he just died of panic and this is just his soul taking off for the spirit world.

Then he reaches the height of his arc and starts plummeting back to Earth, and the sensation of all his internal organs rattling around asserts the fact that he is very much still alive and experiencing this.  He closes his eyes before he gets anywhere close to the ground, so it comes as a surprise when he comes to a sudden stop, cradled briefly by robes smelling of hay and bison fur, before being deposited back on his feet.

“How’s the weather up there?” Uncle Aang asks him, patting him on the back.  Satoshi doesn’t know what the weather was like.  He doesn’t know anything except that solid ground beneath his feet may have replaced his mother’s hugs as his favorite feeling in the world.  He meets Kya’s eyes, and sees from her horrified expression that he must look like as much of a husk of a child as he feels.

A quiet, affectless “Thank you,” is all that he can manage to say, and then he is wandering back into the palace, where he shoves his head into the nearest antique vase and screams.

+1

“Psst.”  A small sound behind him has Aang on alert.  The Fire Nation Royal Palace hasn’t been a place of danger for years now, but with Toph and Sokka around, the probability of sneak attacks has risen a hundred fold.  He doesn’t see anything though, and goes to turn back around, only to be caught by a surprisingly firm grip on his cape.  About two feet below where he’d expected to find his assailant, Aang comes face to face with his youngest niece, Kallik.  Her expression is the same determined furrow of the brow that Katara and Zuko have shared for so long it is impossible to tell which parent bestowed the trait on her.  It has the eerie effect of summoning the terrifying force that is their combined will.  Aang already knows that whatever she wants from him, he’s going to cave, and it will probably get him in trouble.  “I hear you’re in the business of yeeting kids.  I want in.”

Aang sighs.  Zuko has been trying to prevent this day since the moment Aang met Kallik, and Kallik has been trying to evade her father’s overprotective tendencies since the moment of her existence.  It is a battle Katara has elected not to fight, likely remembering her own impossible stubbornness and the futility of trying to stand against it.  So it is with all of that knowledge that he says, “Okay.”

“Flameo!” Kallik cheers, punching at the air.

“Well ‘flameo’ was actually more of a greeting -”

“Let’s save the fun facts.  I wanna fly.”  With a creeping sense of dread, Aang follows the child pulling him along by the cape until they reach a courtyard.  Kallik turns to face him, plants her feet, and rubs her palms together.  “Alright,” she says, spreading her arms wide.  “I’m ready.”

“Here we go...I guess,” Aang says, glancing over his shoulder as he reaches out to scoop her up by the armpits.  The coast is clear, so he swings her around in circles a couple of times to get ready.  As his niece starts to giggle, the garden blurs, and wind ruffles his robes, Aang feels the giddy anticipation of liftoff.

He hoists Kallik, up, up, up.

And then her momentum carries her out of his hands, and the wind that has built up around them propels her even higher.  Her already small body shrinks until she looks more like the shadow of a bird in the night sky, clearing the palace roofs.  A happy shriek pierces the air.  Aang smiles, feeling her wonder as if it is his own.  This is always the best part of someone’s first flight - witnessing them discover the wind anew - and while taking Air Acolytes to glide at the Northern Air Temple is fun, nothing compares to sharing this part of his culture with his nieces and nephews.

Kallik tumbles back into his arms, eyes wide with wonder, ecstatic grin plastered across her face.  “Again!” she cries, the moment breath rushes back to her.  

Aang laughs and holds her on his hip.  As he always does, he asks, “How’s the weather up there?”

“The moon is huge!  And I could see the whole city!  And the ocean!”  Kallik’s pudgy hands move in broad, sweeping gestures so similar to her mother’s bending as she speaks.  He still remembers Katara’s delighted gasp the first time she flew, Toph’s bruising grip, Zuko’s shocked laugh.  This moment, too, will be another piece of the Air Nomad legacy living on.

As Aang tosses Kallik yet again, Katara finds Zuko leaning against a pillar at the edge of the courtyard, watching.  She approaches her husband, curious to find that he isn’t having a coronary at the sight of their daughter in freefall, and takes hold of his arm.

“You gonna yell at him?” she asks, feigning nonchalance.  He doesn’t look away from them, but he is smiling, serene.

“Eh, she seems fine.”

[rayomz]

pour one out for all the people who dont want to give beyond good & evil a chance bc of what the second one is/will be, perceived to be yet another realistic generic openworld sandbox ubisoft game, space GTA, whatever when the first game is not like that at ALL

i didn’t play the first game bc i thought it would be “just another ubisoft game” despite it coming out in 2003, i wasn’t interested until i actually sat down and watched gameplay, ofc then i played it, fell in love, became a major SI for me

if you put bge1 fans and bge2 “fans” in a venn diagram there would be very little to no overlap bc they are completely different audiences

thinking of this for many reasons, one of which is bc a lot of bge1 fans, if not most, are rayman fans. yet i can’t think of a single rayman fan on here who has played bge. like... this game is on NOBODY’S radar despite it being by michel ancel and the fact that it feels EXACTLY like a mishmash of rayman 2 and rayman 3. i went into this game really desperately wanting a rayman 4, played this, and was satisfied afterwards. it feels like a rayman game more than anything else

another reason i was thinking about bge’s appeal was that it’s a CARTOON. thats something bge2 ISN’T and people might look that over when looking at bge1. not only is it a cartoon in style but there are SO MANY JOKES and even GAMEPLAY MECHANICS in the game that rely on it being a CARTOON. if they were to make a realistic remake of the game, not only would the charm be lost, but a lot of the jokes wouldn’t make sense if they tried to make it 1:1, and the mechanics wouldn’t work. you can’t simply remake beyond good & evil. the way you defeat the alphas, peyj’s jetboots, the mr decastellac joke at the end of black isle, double h’s introduction, the slaughterhouse hovercraft puzzles, all of these rely on cartoon logic and can NOT work in a realistic setting with realistically-rendered characters. you would have to reboot the whole thing

speaking of humour, this game is actually more humorous than rayman 2. like i can think of very few jokes in rayman 2 but bge has so many. albeit they’re all in the beginning of the game bc it gets more serious midway through, but never grim. there’s always this silliness to the game the whole way through

the enemies in the game look like this ffs

this guy straight up looks like a reject rayman 3 enemy

we’re back to getting like 1 fanart per 6 months and its always like.. a sketch of jade and nothing else. bge supposedly has “a loyal fanbase” like yeah, the game has fans, people have played it, people LOVE bge, yet there’s no *community*

there’s no *fandom*

there’s a new fanfic like once every 2-3 years and even then, it’s usually just a short one-shot. fanart in general is few and far between and it’s usually just jade. i LOVE jade but good luck if you’re a fan of any of the other characters (double h...)

also the game is like $3 on sale but i’d recommend like... emulating it over anything lol. this isn’t the most accessible game due to it not being on modern consoles and the PC port being shit. HD versions are shit too but are slightly more accessible if you have a ps3 or something. best versions are the originals if you have access to those, if not, bge on gamecube runs well on dolphin. it’s a short game at no longer than 10-15 hours if you try to 100% it on a first run. my personal best is like 4 and a half hours but a casual run for me takes no longer than like 6-8 hours depending on how much i complete. it’s fairly easy too i think, no rayman 1 nonsense. the final boss can be tricky but at that point you can just watch it on youtube imo lol

or if you prefer, i recommend chipcheezum’s recent letsplay of the game. i recommend this one over others bc of how familiar him and ironicus are with the game, they’re able to comment on things in a meaningful way. and it’s also really funny

tldr everyone play beyond good & evil it’s a funny cartoon adventure game if you like funny cartoon games you’ll probably like this one

[jenoptimist]

request:

can i request something with lucas? 💖

✮ Pairing: yukhei x reader (gender neutral)

✮ Genre: fluff | werewolf!au

✮ Additional info: accidental marriage (werewolf style)

✮ Word count: 5.6k

♡ Yakult says: thank you for your request !! i was a clown when i said i’d have it up before the new year 🤠 but well here it is nonie !! i hope you like it 💙

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The moon hung big, bright and beautiful in the dark sky as it illuminated the thick forest. The brightness of the surrounding stars didn’t even compare. Not one bit. You stood up from your position on the porch and stretched your arms and legs, the tattoo on the inner part of your wrist tingling. You watched with impatience as your wolves emerge from the trees and you couldn’t resist the urge to run over to them, the soles of your feet becoming slightly wet due to the damp grass. You couldn’t go with them as they raced through the forest, no matter how much you pleaded, so you wanted to be in on their joyous energy. They were quick to pounce on you, hard enough to tackle you to the ground where you soon find yourself covered by them.

“Finally!” You said, feigning exasperation as they surrounded you and took turns rubbing their snouts in the crook of your neck, effectively scenting you, “took you guys long enough!” They couldn’t talk to you, at least not in their shifted states, so you moved so that you could stand up and then took off to warm up inside the Wong residence without so much as a warning. They weren’t too far behind you, evidently not burning through their energy just yet.

Once on the porch, the boys shifted back into their human forms. Their voices overlapped each other as they walked in, telltale sounds of them shoving at one another through the back door good naturedly. You kept your eyes away from them as they entered, stared pointedly at the variety of colorful magnets that were on the fridge. Nudity didn’t bother them in the slightest simply because it was in their nature. However it was not in yours. You were just a human that somehow wormed your way into their pack - you’d often jokingly said that they just couldn’t resist your charm - and so nudity didn’t come as naturally to you as it did them.

“Aw,” cooed Yangyang in that playful tone of his, “still shy after all this time, y/n?” That earned him nothing but your middle finger which resulted in laughter from the others.

“I’ll order some pizza so go shower and get dressed.” You told them when they stopped laughing, already grabbing your phone from where you placed it near the microwave earlier. They let out a chorus of cheers, thanking you by ruffling your hair while they passed by you. The last hand lingered slightly; it lowered from the crown of your head to your nape before skimming over to the crook of your neck and stayed there, warm and heavy. You didn’t have to turn to know it was Yukhei. It was the large size of his hand that always gave him away. 

“There’s money in the hallway, under the orchids.”

“I know,” you said while lowering your phone slightly so that you could turn your head towards him, “there always is.”

Try as you might, your eyes seemed to have a will of their own as they trailed from his eyes to the slope of his nose and the curve of his lips and then slowly, very slowly, your eyes roamed down his neck and followed the lines of his collarbones. Remembering yourself, you lifted your gaze, practically looking at him through your lashes, and found him staring at you intensely; there was definitely something in those dark eyes of his. Whatever it was, there was one thing that you were certain of: it was a combination of both man and wolf. It was evident from the color of his eyes, while not fully changed they contained a sliver of gold, just around the edges. You couldn’t decipher what it meant and you weren’t too eager to ask the others either—it would probably resulting in them teasing you, like they always did.

His warm hand lightly squeezed you for a fraction of a second and then he was off, striding towards the direction of the hallway so that he could join the others upstairs. Against your better judgement, along with the mentality that you already crossed the line earlier, anyway so this couldn’t be a bad thing to do, you watched him go. Your eyes focused on the smooth and tanned expanse of his upper back, not daring to look any lower because you had already went passed the line further than intended—it also felt wrong and creepy if you did. You shifted your stare to your phone, not wanting to be caught practically gawking at his behind when he would inevitably turn so that he could go up the stairs.

After having your fill of pizza - Dejun and Yangyang bickered for the last slice - the eight of you took your respective seats; Kun, Yongqin, Dejun and Kunhang squished together on the largest couch on the left side of the room while you sat on the other couch, with Sicheng on the far and while Yangyang and Yukhei were on either side of you. As the start of Ocean’s Eleven played on the TV, you tried very hard not to concentrate on your left thigh, where you could practically feel the heat of Yukhei’s hand underneath your joggers. Touching between all of you was a regular occurrence, heck Yangyang was even leaning into you, but it was different with Yukhei. His touches lingered the way your stares on him did; sometimes they were feather light, fleeting, and other times they were heavy and prolonged, as if you’d disappear if he didn’t have a grip on you—like last year when you almost. . .when the incident with the wendigo happened.

Three and a half movies in, Dejun, Kunhang and Yangyang were sound asleep. Kun and Yongqin had taken it upon themselves to clear up the space a little and rearranged the sleeping boys into much more comfortable positions. You would have helped them but your parents were expecting you to return home. They understood your connection with them - after what happened last year it was important that they knew the truth - but they valued family time.

“Thanks for walking me back,” you said as you and Yukhei reached your driveway. Although your living room windows were covered by a set of blinds and curtains, the lampshade was still visible. Yukhei flashed you a quick smile and a quick shrug of his shoulders.

“Goodnight.” He replied, stopping just a handful of steps away from where you stood in front of your door. You returned his words to him and just as you turned and unlocked the door, one foot barely inside the house, he said, “oh hold on!” There was the sound of his shoes tapping against the pavement in rhythmically as he jogged towards you. “I forgot to give this to you earlier.” His hand was fisted and stretched out to you. When you held out your opened palm underneath it, he released his hold from the object. It was an agate rock, you could tell by the lines and how it had several colors. “I got it during our run.” Yukhei said while he peeked at you through his lashes. He wore a small, shy smile, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he rocked back and forth between his heel and the balls of his feet. He looked positively endearing, especially with the way the moon casted its light on him.

You ran your thumb across it’s smooth surface, secretly pleased that he thought of you. It probably didn’t mean anything (even though you desparately wanted it to) because the others did it, too. On one, most recent, occasion Kunhang bought the two of you matching cat shaped night lights just because. So, really, Yukhei most likely meant nothing about it; he just happened to spot a rock that he thought you might like. Now if only you could convince your heart that. Along with the fluttering in it that you felt, there was a rush of warmth that flooded through your entire system. Hopefully it wasn’t noticeable—their senses, as well as their healing, weren’t as enhanced as usual during the full moon which served to be in your favor at the moment.

“Thank you,” you finally said, a smile that stretched from ear to ear as you closed your hand around it. “I love it.” Although he barely showed it, you could tell he was relieved. Yukhei smiled softly at you, his eyes full of joy. “Goodnight, again. Text me when you get home.” You could feel his eyes on you as you walked in and once you shut the door, you were quick to look through the peephole to make sure that nothing happened to him while he walked off.

Later when you were cozy in your bed, marvelling at the rock, lifting it up so that the moonlight could kiss it through your window, your phone buzzed. Setting the rock on your beside table, you patted around your duvet for your phone.

from: xuxi

made it back in one piece!!

With the text came a picture of him, thumb raised. Yongqin was making a silly face in the back while Sicheng formed a ‘V’ with his index and middle finger, his face neutral as if he wasn’t originally intended to be in the picture. It coaxed a small huff of laughter from you. You were quick to send him a text back and then you repositioned yourself, closing your eyes so that you could go to sleep.

*

There was something different about you when you woke up. It wasn’t noticeable, not at first, but the more awake and alert you became, the more you were aware of the thrumming? No. Current. It felt like somebody had inserted wires inside of you while you were asleep, somehow, with the buzzing that you could feel inside your body. It didn’t hurt but it was definitely there although, surprisingly enough, it didn’t feel wrong for it to be there. If you weren’t in the know (read: if you didn’t know about werewolves) you could have chalked it up to excess energy. But seeing as you did know about the supernatural, whatever had happened to you overnight could be a problem. Thankfully, however, the current was faint. Faint enough that you could probably forget about it. Unfortunately, a habit of yours was that once you noticed something, you couldn’t stop concentrating on it.

The panic set in when, after eating your breakfast and rushing to work, the feeling was still there. It was like an itch but no matter how hard you tried to forget about it or subtly shake it out, nothing happened. In fact the exact opposite happened; it became just that bit stronger, as if to say, ‘hey I’m still here’. Thankfully it was a slow day at work which allowed you to think about what could have caused your current condition? Situation? You didn’t even know what to call it. There weren’t any current threats or anyone who posed danger that you knew of. Maybe some fae casted this one you? No. That didn’t make any sense. The fae may have been known for trickery and deceit but they wouldn’t do anything to anyone who didn’t strike a bargain with them.

By the time you were on your break, your head was practically pounding at the amount of possiblities you had thought of. You took a bite of your panini, staring out the window of the café you decided to eat at. Trying not to get caught up in thinking again - you had done enough for the day - you focused on watching the people that passed by. A few bites into your sandwich, your tattoo tingled. It didn’t override the other current in your body in the slightest, not that it could, because it only affected the skin where your tattoo was. You wondered who was out and about. It could be anybody since it was a Saturday so none of you had any lectures—although Kunhang did mention that he would be in the campus to work on his project today so it couldn’t be him. Kunhang, bless his heart, tried to explain his project to you and you were nothing short of confusion by the end of it. You and engineering simply did not mix, like oil and water, but it was nice to watch him speak about something that he was clearly interested in.

The tingling stopped as soon as you found yourself face to face with Yukhei, who stood on the other side of the glass. When you locked eyes with him, he was quick to wave and then weave his way through the sea of bodies moving in two opposite directions so that he could enter the café. He made a beeline towards you and spared no time in occupying the seat opposite you, although he stood up almost immediately.

After a quick, “I’ll go get us a drink,” he was off. You didn’t even see his gaze wander to your empty cup. There was that pleased feeling again, the one that warmed up the inside of your chest and spread itself to the rest of your body. You bit the inside of your cheek and forced yourself to tamper it down. It meant nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. You seared the word into your mind but it didn’t do anything to dissipate the fluttering in your heart. When he came back, two steaming beverages in hand, the two of you fell into an easy conversation. It hardly took any effort to get lost in Yukhei whenever he spoke because he always spoke with his whole body; his eyes bursting with emotion, the various facial expressions he displayed and how he used his hands to go along with his words. He was telling you about the shenanigans Bella had gotten herself into that morning, his voice full of both amusement and fondness. You did nothing but listen to him, lips curled into an affectionate smile while your cheek laid in the palm of your hand.

It was only after the two of you said your goodbyes that you realized that the current stopped when you were in Yukhei’s presence. The gears in your head turned, perhaps instead of a current, it was a pull. A pull towards Yukhei. That was ridiculous, though. Why would that be the case? You were probably just mixing up your feelings for him with the current or something. You made a plan to ask Kun and Sicheng what they thought because if anyone could provide you with answers, it would be those two brainiacs.

When your shift ended, you were quick to leave the building and call Kun so that he was aware that you were going over to the apartment that he shared with Sicheng.

“Wait, y/n,” concern colored Kun’s voice, “you’re not in any trouble, are you?”

“No,” you assured, “but you’d know if I was, wouldn’t you?” It was an alpha thing, you remembered him telling you when you woke up in the hospital and had a boatload of questions. It was because of that alpha quirk that he found you.

“Yeah,” his voice took a softness to it before he cleared it away, “I’d know. Sicheng is already here, by the way, and so is Yongqin. He’s asking if you could pick up some Doritos on your way.” You gave him an affirmative, feeling lucky that the two people you were looking for were in the same spot.

You all but sprinted to Kun and Sicheng’s apartment, the handle of a paper bag full of various snacks in your hand. The usual pleasantries were exchanged which consisted of mainly scenting rather than words. And then once the snacks were distributed on the coffee table in the living room, the four of you were down to business.

“Hold on, so, you just woke up and, what, bam there it was?” Yongqin asked through a mouthful of chips. From beside him Sicheng simultaneously flipped onto the next page of the grimoire with one hand, which he had on loan from the local coven, and stuffed a handful of chips with the other. His eyes scanned the two pages lightning fast before turning them, decidedly not finding whatever he thought the solution was for your current problem. Ha. Current problem.

“Yeah,” you confirmed, popping some Maltesers into your mouth. You tilted the bag of Maltesers in Kun’s direction on your right and retracted when he shook his head in refusal. His brows were furrowed, head tilted as he chewed on his bottom lip. Not wanting to disrupt his train of thought, you shrugged at Yongqin and said, “it could be worse.”

“I’ve got nothing,” Sicheng said as he closed the grimoire. “I could ask Jaehyun but if it’s not in his grimoire then I doubt he’d know. I’ll text him anyway, just in case.”

“Wait don’t,” Kun ordered. When the the three of you looked at him, he was staring at you with the same contemplative expression that he had been wearing since you told them about your situation. “Yukhei walked you home last night, right?” You nodded, wondering what theory he had come up with. “By any chance, did he give you something?”

You smiled brightly, “yeah, look!” The rock was nestled inside the pocket of your jeans because you didn’t want to leave it at home, you thought of it as a charm of some sort, and you made quick work of fishing it out so that you could show them. “Isn’t it so pretty?” Yongqin agreed whereas the other two traded looks with each other.

“Oh,” Sicheng breathed out, as if he connected all the dots which, knowing him, he probably did. He glanced at you before looking back at Kun. Their conversation was silent; nothing but a series of brow movements. Dread immediately flooded your system, your outstretched hand dropping onto your lap. Whatever happened to you was probably horrible, considering that they didn’t outright say what they thought it was. You thumbed at your rock to try and soothe your nerves while you waited for them to reveal whatever it was that they figured out.

Yongqin jerked suddenly, eyes wide with surprise as he spread his arms out wildly, smacking Sicheng square on the chest. “You married Yukhei?!”

You returned his surprised expression with one of disbelief. “I think I’d know if I got married to him.”

“No,” Kun said softly, “he’s right. Y/n you”-he arched a brow at Yongqin-“bonded with Yukhei last night.”

“What! But- I couldn’t have.” You all but exclaimed. “How?”

“Everything witnessed by the moon, specifically the full moon, is binding for werewolves. When a wolf, or a human in a pack for that matter, gives a token to another under the moon it takes full effect. Although it only works when there are particularly strong feelings involved.” Sicheng explained in a tone that was both gentle and matter-of-fact.

Oh great. So all this happened because your feelings ran extremely deep for Yukhei to the point where you got werewolf married to him. All he was doing was being his usual self and the moon went ahead and bound the two of you together because of your feelings. It must have been the immense joy you felt, on top of your feelings for him, about the fact that he saw a pretty rock and thought of you. It felt a little bit pathetic in a way. Yukhei probably didn’t even want to be married to you, werewolf married or not. He called you a ‘good buddy’ two weeks ago! There was absolutely no way he thought of you as marriage material at all! You felt a little ill all of a sudden. While you may have fantasized about being married to him - it was one of the many scenarios you conjured up when you closed your eyes and waited for sleep to take you - you never wanted it to happen like this—non-consensual and without meaning.

“Don’t worry!” Kun rushed in, “you can undo it. All you have to do is give the token back to him at the next full moon then the bond will be dissolved.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then you have to give him a token and then you’ll be together forever.” Yongqin piped up. You thought as much. After all, werewolves never did anything in halves when it came to their love lives. “The current will disappear eventually, too. Or at least it should.”

“Perfect,” you said with false cheer before laying back on the couch, groaning as you squeezed your eyes shut. Then you sat up, all but yelling, “please don’t tell Yukhei!” Sicheng looked as though he wanted to disagree but you silently pleaded at him until he dutifully nodded. Kun and Yongqin followed his lead. “I’ll tell him myself.” You mumbled, dread already creeping up inside of your system at the thought of it.

There was a couple of minutes of silence before Yongqin spoke up. “It could be worse.” He said, mimicking your words from earlier.

A bubble of hysteric laughter escaped your lips before you agreed. It really, really could have been worse.

*

“You’ve been avoiding me.” Yukhei said over the phone. You could hear the frown in his voice and could already picture the expression he wore on his face. There was hurt there too, just a hint as if he was trying not to let it show, and it made you hate yourself a little bit more, especially since the statement was true. You had started avoiding him since the revelation of your marriage three weeks ago. Confrontation was never your strong suit and it doubled in this particular situation because not only would you have to tell him that the two of you were accidentally werewolf married, but also because your feelings regarding him would be out in the open. The full moon was in a couple of days, however, so it would all be over soon.

“Sorry I’ve been busy,” the words felt like ash in your mouth. “We can hang out later though, if you’re free.” Half of you hoped he was and the other hoped that he wasn’t—if he was free then you didn’t know how you could look at him and not think, ‘we’re married’ or similarly ‘we’re bound’ over and over again.

“Yeah ‘course I am! I’m working on something with Kunhang right now, we’re just taking a break, so he’ll probably stick around with us. I’ll text you when we’re done.”

“Sounds good,” and it really did because with Kunhang there maybe you wouldn’t have to think about your marriage to his best friend or worse, accidentally tell him. “See you later!”

Later came sooner than expected. Time seemed to pass in a blink of an eye and so you found yourself in front of the Wong residence, waiting for someone to open the door for you. They definitely would have heard you as you were walking up their driveaway and normally, Yukhei’s little brother would have opened the door already so you assumed he was out with his friends. The door swung open to reveal Mrs.Wong - your, oh God, secret mother-in-law - who all but beamed when she saw you and beckoned you inside.

“It’s been a while,” she said after she closed the door behind her. Within a second she had an arm around your waist and lead you to the kitchen. “You came in just in time! Someone from my book club gave me her curry receipe and I just finished making it.” She was quick to pass you a spoonful of the dish, watching you in expectation as you tasted it. “Too salty?” She asked and then smiled delightedly when you assured her that it was lovely. “That’s dinner sorted,” she said as she placed the lid back on the pot. “Now, tell me, what’s the latest gossip in town these days.”

Halfway through telling her about how apparently there was drama in the Zhao family because of the late Mr.Zhao’s will (some even suspected that he was murdered but you highly doubted it), Yukhei - your secret husband - and Kunhang walked in. Yukhei immediately made his way towards you, placing a hand on the crook of your neck which he slowly moved downwards to rest in the middle of your shoulder blades. It stayed there until Kunhang took the seat beside you and started chatting animatedly about what he and Yukhei were working on. Yukhei’s stare practically seared the side of your head but you refused to look at him. From the corner of your eye, you could see Mrs.Wong look slyly between you and her son and you hoped that she didn’t figure it out—silly considering she herself was a ‘wolf and therefore would definitely work it out. But, still, you hoped.

“The others are coming by later,” Yukhei informed you and Kunhang, his eyes locked on his phone as he tapped away. The three of you had moved to his room a few minutes ago. Once he finished typing, he stood up and said, “I’ll be back.” Then left his room.

There was a beat of silence as you scrolled through your Instagram feed, double tapping on pictures while Kunhang played a game on his phone that he recently downloaded. He either completed a level or his character failed because he lowered his phone and looked at you, waiting until you returned his stare before he spoke.

“You know,” he started, shifting his legs until he was in a more comfortable position, “he was pretty torn up about not seeing you lately.” You bobbed your head. “And if this is about the token he gave you—”

You shot up immediately. “How did you know about that?” Did Dejun and Yangyang know, too? But the others said they wouldn’t say anything or, well, not to Yukhei at least. Unless they were all in the know?

“Who do you think gave him the idea?” He asked rhetorically and then launched into how he, Dejun and Yangyang helped Yukhei with his plan. “The token could have been anything because it’s the thought that counts but he found that rock and polished it ‘cause he thought you’d like it.”

Your lips parted in shock while your brain scrambled for something, anything, to say. So Yukhei did want to be werewolf married to you? He had feelings for you? He went to the trouble of finding a rock and polishing it because he thought you’d like it? It felt like a dream come true. Suddenly, his shy demeanor on that night made sense. Being bound to him wasn’t horrible - life was short and you knew it - but you did wish that he asked you on a date—the two of you could have done anything; a picnic, go to the cinema or drive to the next town over.

“He was really nervous about the whole thing, y’know? I mean I thought you’d definitely say yes because it’s not like he was asking for your hand in marriage or anything,”-wait, what?-“he just wanted to court you.”

“Kunhang,” you said slowly, “we are married. I asked Kun and Sicheng and he- we’re- he didn’t ask to court me.” Even though he did accidentally marry you, at least you were aware that he liked you back. Courting, like all other things involved in a ‘wolf’s love life, was considered serious business.

“Oh shit,” Kunhang exclaimed, slapping a hand on his mouth with wide eyes.

Yukhei chose to re-enter his room at that moment. His brows furrowed as he looked back and forth between the two of you. “What’s wrong?”

Kunhang’s hand slid from his mouth, about to speak when you quickly said, “I was telling him about how some people think Mr.Zhao was murdered.” You gave Kunhang a brief, pleading look.

Yukhei huffed out a laugh, “and he believed it? Dude there’s no way. They would have said so when they examined the body.”

“Exactly what I said!” You laughed along with Yukhei, forcing down the giddiness that spread through you at the sight of him. He shot you a big smile before trapping Kunhang in a playful headlock.

Before you knew it, the others arrived and as usual, dinner was a loud affair as everyone voiced their opinions on the topic of conversation which steadily continued to change. After dinner, everyone helped clean up excluding Yukhei’s parents because you all insisted that they relax. There was a couple of rounds of Uno at the dining table after everything was cleaned and put away and then the seven of you were on your way home. One by one, the number dwindled until it was just you and Yongqin.

“He was meant to ask to court me,” you told him just after Yangyang turned left onto his road. “Not marry me.”

“Let me guess,” Yongqin replied, amusement in his voice, “the three rascals helped him out without asking anyone.”

“Who else?” The two of you laughed, briefly recalling the mischief the four of them had gotten into whenever they did something without consulting their parents or anyone else in the pack.

“So what are you going to do?” Yongqin asked as the two of you approached your driveway. “If he was planning to court you then obviously marrying you is already on his mind.” You tried not to flush at the bluntness of his words because of course courting was only done when marriage fit into the equation.

Still, the corner of your mouth lifted. “I think you already know.”

Yongqin threw his head back to laugh and then beamed at you. “Yeah, I do.” He then ruffled your hair in that brotherly way of his and said, “remember, it’s the thought that counts.”

“You know, not enough people give you credit for being smart.” It was true. People thought Yongqin was nothing but an airhead who liked to dance and draw in his spare time because obviously you couldn’t possibly be intelligent when you enjoyed those things.

“I know,” he agreed while he jammed his hands into his pockets and shrugged. “But it gives me an advantage, don’t you think? Now go on, I’m sure you have lots to think about.”

“G’night.” You said as he spun around and walked across the road to his own house. He just waved without looking back.

*

With the little time you had to think of a token to give Yukhei, you hardly slept for the past two days. There were so many options to choose from but ultimately, you chose a bracelet that had agate stones which matched the one that he gave you. It remained hidden in a box on your shelf and you thought about what Yukhei’s reaction would be while you sent him a short text.

to: xuxi

let’s talk after the run tomorrow

from: xuxi

okay

*

The full moon was big and bright as it always was. You and Yukhei stood underneath it, allowing yourselves to be soaked in its light, in the clearing between his house and the forest. Your rock was hidden in the saftey of your chest, just under your hoodie - you had asked your dad for help so that you could loop a necklace chain into it - while your token for Yukhei was inside of your loosely fisted hand.

“You asked me to marry you,” you said softly, peeking at him through your lashes. “You like me enough to marry me. You might even love me.” Although he was visibly shocked, he did nothing to assure you otherwise. His expression of shock melted into one of shyness, maybe even embarrassment, as he wrung his fingers together.

“Yeah, I did and,” his voice was low and gravelly, “I do love you.”

You didn’t even try to fight your smile as you stretched your hand out towards him and waited for him to place an open palm underneath it. When you released your token, you watched his expression turn into astonishment. He picked up the bracelet gently, examining it for a couple of minutes before slipping it past his hand and onto his wrist.

“You have one month to divorce me just in case you change your mind,” you tried to make it sound like a joke but it fell flat. “Just like I did with you.” At least according to Sicheng.

Yukhei strode towards you, his steps full of purpose until the two of you were practically chest to chest. “I don’t need it.”

Your heart soared as he leaned in closer and closer until your faces were a hair’s width away. “No?”

“Absolutely not.” And then he kissed you, a hand cupping the back of your head while you snaked your hands up to his shoulders.

“I love you, too.” You said breathlessly once the two of you pulled apart. “In case that wasn’t obvious.”

Yukhei’s laughter was as warm as sunlight. His hand moved from the back of your head to cup your cheek while he stared at you in complete adoration. With the press of his lips on yours, he removed it so that he could step back and hold your hands onto his. 

“Mother Moon,” he began to say, his warm hands giving your cold ones a light squeeze, “may your light shine on our love through all of your phases for eternity.”

Yukhei’s eyes searched yours as if waiting for you to tell him that you were joking even after all that has happened. You just smiled at him, already knowing what to do next thanks to Yongqin.

“Mother Moon,” you repeated, taking pleasure in seeing Yukhei mirror your smile with awe in his eyes, “may your light shine on our love through all of your phases for eternity.”

[masterthespianduchovny]

I never wished for Gillian’s relationship to fail, but I was largely indifferent to it and it has nothing to do with Gillovny. Funny enough, I do actively dislike David’s relationship for obvious reasons.

I wasn’t super involved in the tumblr fandom during 2015-2016, but I do remember all of the fuckery that went down with David and gillian. Their behavior was what ignited dormant and new shippers. It added flames for those who never let that flame die.

So, you had all of G and D’s antics and shit, which many were going crazy over. Some notable people as well who have since distanced themselves from that era. Like most people were for this shit because whatever was going on between them was too hard to dismiss as being friendly or professional behavior. Or even harmless flirting.

Now, there are those who always insisted that G and D were acting and putting this show on for the fans. I guess to drive ratings, but this argument has always been nonsensical to me. For starters, people who are interested in Gillovny are going to watch regardless. Almost everyone else don’t give a shit and was going to watch the revival for Mulder and Scully. The things fans went crazy over wasn’t enough to even get anyone interested in the show who wasn’t already interested.

Like, the kimmel interview is mostly only interesting to someone who follows Gillovny or knows of their history. Other people would find their behavior interesting, but would they really make them watch the show??? And it’s barely even a headline.

So, what they were doing back then was enough to get philes excited, but not enough to drive ratings. Which cancels out the idea that they behaved the way they did to garner attention.

But, the naysayers kept insisting that this was all a PR ploy.

After (???) season 10 premiered, Gillian was spotted with Peter I suppose. And she kept being spotted with him. Don’t know the true timeline. But, when this happened, suddenly, these same naysayers were Gorgan. They were all in on Peter and Gillian and throwing shots at Gillovny fans and how we were “played.”

(It must be noted that just because Gillian ended up dating Peter doesn’t mean she didn’t have a thing with David. Lol)

Over time, they were gassing up this relationship and talking about Peter’s greatness and how he and Gillian balanced each other.

For me, my bullshit meter was going on.

Yes, some fans just wanted Gillian to be happy and shit, which I’m all for, but the loud gorgan supporters used this relationship to “get back” at the Gillovny crowd. I honestly don’t know how hostile it became between the two groups, but from what I did see, this support was superficial, which was proven years later.

Because, imo, how can you be for a relationship that just started and you barely know anything about it? How can you know all of this about two people you have no insight on? Gillian keeps her relationships largely private and we know even less about Peter’s relationships (read: marriage), yet there are posts about how these two are a good fit? Lol

What solidified my indifference was Gillian’s behavior. Pre like 2013, Gillian wasn’t really featured in the media all that much because she wasn’t doing any noteworthy projects. Then, she did the fall and was featured more. She was very vocal about being a feminist and shit. “Future is female”, talking about her same sex relationships, didn’t want to be in relationships unless she was in control. Isn’t this the woman who famously ended a relationship by going home and leaving her then boyfriend on the beach to find his way home? Lol.

Gillian’s image was very independent, assertive, I’m the boss, blah blah blah.

Then, she gets with Peter and it’s “he’s responsible for my success.” Peter this, Peter that, blah blah blah blah.

Gillian’s image is now submissive, insecure, handing the reigns over to her man.

That was something that made me look at her differently and not care for her relationship. It felt like whiplash from her previous image.

That image she cultivated with Peter was so contradictory in what she presented herself as while they were together. So, although I still supported her professionally, I just wasn’t here for the relationship.

Ironically enough, Gillian and Peter are the ones who come off as having the PR relationship compared to whatever David and Gillian were doing. Maybe not on the red carpet, but Gillian has (always) been silly and sexual with David. There are x files outtakes that proves this. She jokes/“jokes” with David about wanting to suck his “cock” and David has said shit to her like “did you just cum?” In many of their interviews, Gillian is the the giggly and silly.

Even when Gillian was with Mark and David was still with Tea, that dynamic was there, but a muted. 2015/16 was more pronounced, but it didn’t come out of nowhere. So, the idea that this was PR doesn’t track.

But, Gillian gets with peter and, suddenly, she has a personality change and is singing the praises of her boyfriend who she later works with.

Do I believe this was a PR relationship? Tbh, I don’t give a shit either way. But, PR relationships exist and have always existed in Hollywood. They function many ways: to bring attention to one or both parties, to deflect from (potential) rumors, to build hype for a project, etc.

Peter and Gillian were gassing each other up and shit, selling one another and their relationship. Many famous married couples don’t even talk about their spouses like them (and, yes, I believe these married couples love one another).

The thing about David and Gillian is that, even tho some thought something may have been going on around 2015, some people have always thought they were fucking at one point in time. Others think they just have massive chemistry. But, why would they need to fake a thing between them that they won’t admit to to manufacture interest in the show that people were excited to see come back? It sounds contrived, doesn’t it?

Compare that to: a well loved and acclaimed actress who hasn’t had meaty work in a while getting together with the creator and writer of a show that’s an Emmy darling. They’re always singing each other’s praise, which is noteworthy for a person who doesn’t talk about her relationship much. Who she then later works with on said show.

Which one sounds more like PR?

The actors who’ve had mad chemistry since they’ve auditioned together? Who’s chemistry never wavered even when they couldn’t stand each other and now are in a better place?

Or...

The actress and writer who talk about how wonderful their partner is and that this relationship is so mature, and then later work on his show together before breaking up a month later?

I honestly don’t think it’s absurd to have skepticism towards gorgan. Many of those adamant that gorgan was real and others are delusional are invested in gorgan because their anti Gillovny. And some did truly want to see her happy, but most weren’t invested in that way.

Whether someone thinks gorgan was real or not, I found it embarrassing on Gillian’s part. It’s probably more embarrassing if it was PR and sad if it was real.

And I know ppl will disagree with that because they found the relationship mature and supportive, but again, crediting Peter with the success of her career??? You can’t even argue, “she means now” because Gillian was getting a career resurgence and rave reviews for Stella Gibson and bedelia de murier (???). She had her role in American gods (I know it was one episode).

And in each of these roles, it was “omg! Gillian Anderson!!!”

She was so loved in Hannibal, they fucking expanded her role. And this was all pre Peter (American gods may have had some overlap).

Gillian isnt “struggling” for roles because people don’t want to hire her, she’s “struggling” because she’s trying to find roles that balances being a working actor with being a hands on mom.

And that’s why I was always “meh” about the relationship. I don’t think Peter’s a bad guy and he’s good at his job, but the way Gillian’s persona changed during this relationship was off putting and I didn’t care to get invested in them for that reason. But, as I mentioned on other occasions, the vocal support of the relationship and notable silence when they ended will always be fascinating to me. I honestly believe that gorgan support was fueled by the anti Gillovny crowd and backlash to David’s relationship (its a 🤮 for me too) and behavior towards Gillian regarding the x files’ potential continuance.

[dreamieofu]

pairing; boyfriend!chenle x reader word count; 1.7k summary; Hey! Can I request an imagine of Chenle being jealous and protective please? Basically an angst that ends with fluff. Thank you! 

meeting the boys for the first time.

“I’m kinda nervous,” your hands are placed in Chenle’s as you both stand outside the door. This is the first time you were going to meet his friends, reasonably so, you’re nervous. You take your hands out of his and try to hide your panicked facial expressions. “Hey, it’s going to be okay, I’m here, no?” He reassures you, his hands overlapping yours, to cup your face. He squeezes your face inwards a small bit puffing your cheeks as he gives you a smile. Your favourite, and it worked. You give him a tiny closed mouth smile in return, before he places a small peck on your lips. “You’re right,” you sigh, moving your hands away from under his, pushing your face against his chest. Your arms now wrapped around his torso, listening in to his heartbeat, “Okay, I’m going to open the door now,” He double confirms, hands rubbing your back briefly as you both pull apart. 

You take a step back, to hide behind him. Chenle only looks back at you from over his shoulder, giving you one more smile. He inserts the keys and the door opens. You puff out a small bit, while timidly trailing behind him. You notice his left hand reached out behind his back, indicating you to hold onto it. Your heart warms up to the sight of his fingers wiggling to get your attention. You grab hold of his hands as he directs you to the living room. You both get closer to the sound of people, but before you knew it you’re stopped. “Guys, this is y/n,” Chenle raises his voice a little bit to get their attention. 5 heads turn to you in an instant, you raise your hand and straighten your back, giving a wave before you’re abrupted with greetings and hugs. 

Chenle now pushed out the way, as you were being welcomed. You felt so red in the face, saying hello to each of them. It was exciting being able to finally meet everyone. You really wanted to give a good first impression. The back of your head wondered why you even felt so nervous, they made you feel comfortable in a second. Murmurs of, “She’s pretty,”, “y/n”, “Wa, Chenle,” filling the room.  You were greeted by, Jeno, Renjun, Jisung, Jaemin and Haechan. Although, you were already familiar with them, (you sort of begged Chenle to give you a quick lesson on who you’d be meeting) you couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with how handsome they all were. As things started simmering down, Jeno calls out to you before Chenle could get close to you again, “Come sit here! Do you want anything to drink?” You could only follow Jeno as he gently grabs one of your hands to direct you to the couch. You smile at his gesture, but Chenle couldn’t take his eyes off the way Jeno took your hand so effortlessly. Although Chenle isn’t the type to get overly jealous, what’s his, is his. He didn’t really like sharing so much. It carried on that way for a couple of short hours, your attention completely towards the rest of them, whilst Chenle sat down impatiently.

 Everyone was really exicted that you’ve come over to their place, and you tried your best to answer all their questions and talk to them. Chenle watched as you laughed with them, and yes he was happy seeing you bond so well with everyone. A part of him just missed you, even with you being so near. “Okay, so who made the first move?” Renjun teased at you, you only replied with wide eyes as the subject of conversation took a sudden turn. “Urm,-“ you tried to rack your brain for the answer, you knew it but you were so flustered at the question. “Me.” Chenle says from his position, straight faced and all. You turn to him, feeling like his tone was sort of off. Everyone just looked between Chenle and you, noticing how Chenle didn’t really take his eyes off you. Jaemin and Haechan found this new found Chenle amusing. “Who kissed who first?” Jaemin push on teasing, your head diverted to Jaemin. Before you could reply, there was another “Me.” Chenle’s voice bounced back answering Jaemin’s question quicker than your thought process. Jisung just giggled quietly at Chenle’s reaction. “Who said ‘I love you,’ first?” Jisung wanted to play around also, but Chenle just looked back at Jisung. His face dropping a tiny bit once he realised the question. 

The mood in the atmosphere went from playful to kinda awkward. Truth is, both of you haven’t said it yet. Even if you could feel it, Chenle wanted to say it at the perfect time. There were many moments where he had the chance, but he chickened out. It wasn’t like you don’t love him either, it was all about timing. Chenle just sat back against where he was seated, silent. Your heart stung, looking at him. A frown now on your face as you turn to see him. You both catch eyes for the first time since you’ve arrived. He gives you a weak smile. “We haven’t said it yet…” You reply to Jisung’s question, your gaze not leaving Chenle’s. “Ah- Enough with the silly questions,” Chenle complains, getting up from his seat slightly embarrassed. He walked away from the room, leaving you with the boys. You turn to them with lips in a tight line. “Sorry about that,” Jisung apologises, you quickly shake your head and wave your hands in a “no” motion. “No-no, it’s fine, haha,” Everyone just has apologetic eyes, “If it’s okay, I’m going to go after him,” You tell them beginning to get up from your spot also. “Yeah, makes sense,” Haechan nods, before giving you directions to Chenle’s room. Whispering a ‘Thank you,’ you make your way to Chenle’s room. 

You knock on the door with three taps, “Chenle?” You call out, to be greeted with nothing but a small groan. You carefully turn the door knob to find him sprawled out on his bed hugging a pillow, “Chenle…” You see him pouting onto the pillow as you make your way to him on the bed. You nudge him, as his rolls over to give you room to join him silently. You crawl next to him, as you lay down facing each other. You smile, taking in all his features. The dip of his nose, each eyelash and the way they moved as he blinks. The way his cheeks were shaped, and the tiny mole he had on his neck. Your hand reaches out with caution to hold the side of his face. You brush his cheeks slightly with your thumb as he lays there, closing his eyes for a moment. 

The sound of the boys talking drifted in the background, as you’re both laid in each others presence. “Are you okay?” You whisper, his eyes open looking at your concerned face. He furrowes his eyebrows a little, “No, you ignored me almost the whole day,” He confesses, you chuckle at his babyish character. Your fingers go to push his hair back, slightly exposing his forehead as you sigh, “I’m just trying to be friends with yours,” You reason with him, but he just shakes his head. “You just need me, nevermind about them,” His hand now circles around your wrist that was playing with his hair, stopping you. He holds your hand, and puts his lips against your knuckles. “I mean, they really like you, I can tell. I’m happy you’re all getting close. But don’t forget, I’m right here.” He tells you, lips moving slightly against your knuckles, leaving small kisses with every few words. 

You feel butterflies, he’s never been so openly vulnerable to you like this sort, not in a while and you kinda enjoyed it. It felt like, now that you’ve met his friends, you’re much closer to Chenle. To his life, to his world. You slip your hand away from his and place it by his neck, shuffling closer to him, your legs now tangled. “I know,” you agree with him, your noses now brushing close, his eyes are barely open. But you can tell he’s shamelessly fixated on your lips. His breath so close, and you close the gap. 

Bringing your lips to his for a short sweet moment. You feel one of his hands bringing you even more closer by the waist, deepening the kiss. His other hand moving from underneath the pillow to hold the back of your neck beneath your head. You felt his tongue teasing you for a quick second, before you widen your mouth the slightest giving him entry. His tongue hooks in your bottom lip to give it a little suck, before you pull away. “Hey…Not right now, they’re downstairs.” You tell him, the hand from his neck now against his chest slightly pushing him back. He smiles at you though, gripping your waist to stop you from making any space between you. “Why? Are you shy?” Chenle teases, his head dipping to kiss you once more. You shut your lips together, denying him the kiss. “I said not now…” You’re still reminded about how Chenle left the living room in the first place. You were here to bond with his friends, not make out in his room. Laughter from the living room was faint but noticeable as Chenle realised why you didn’t want to kiss. He lets out another sigh, “Okay, I feel better now,” Your eyes light up at his response. 

Even if things got awkward, you were still having a good time getting to know the boys. “Really baby?” You smile, hand going back to cup the side of his face. He only moves his head into your hand, closing his eyes. “Yeah, but when we go down there, you’re not leaving my side,”  You nod your head excitedly, “Deal,” you give him one last kiss before he could react, pulling out of his embrace to stand up. You give him your hand to get up from the bed, and he takes it. He throws the pillow behind his head, and smiles watching you the whole way back to the living room. Before you reach the living room he calls you out quietly “Hey,” you stop in your tracks, looking back at him with a smile. “Yeah?”  “I love you,”

[lupinsx]

Surprise Me

masterlist

Request: could i request a fred x slytherin!reader where they have been friends since first year and in sixth year fred finally gathers up the courage to confess to her? lot‘s of fluff please🥺 loved your other fred story!! can‘t wait to read more of your stories

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Slytherin!Reader

Summary: After years of Fred crushing on Y/N, he finally builds the courage to ask her to the Yule Ball (with the help of peer pressure).

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: Brief usage of swear words (just the word sh*t twice) and a kissing scene.

a/n — Thanks for reading my other stories! I hope I did justice to this request, it's really cute.

——————————

"3, 2, 1, showtime."

It was at that moment when a loud noise came booming from the Gryffindor table. Fred Weasley shot up rapidly from his seat and began coughing out what looked like green smoke. The surrounding students scrunched up their noses in disgust at the smell of the gas, while his face turned red at the fit.

You had just managed to pull off your first prank at Hogwarts. It has been a week since the Sorting Hat placed you in Slytherin, and since then, you had noticed a pair of mischievous Gryffindors in your year targeting your housemates in their pranks. You figured it was time to give them a slight taste of their own medicine.

While Fred coughed up the last bit of the smelly gas, his twin stood next to him in support, his eyes scanning the Great Hall for any signs of suspicion. You didn't bother hiding your amusement. With a roaring laugh, you stood up from your seat and strode towards the twins.

"I think you overdid the blush today. Wanna borrow my brush?" you teased with a mocking chuckle. Fred stood in front of you with an unreadable expression.

"You did this?" George asked incredulously. You simply shrugged in response, a playful grin spreading across your face. You didn't want to start a feud or create bad blood — especially with notorious pranksters. Although you didn't show it, you dreaded their possible retaliation.

While Fred's face slowly came back to its original colour, he remained still, scanning your features with an empty look. Then, a smile broke his expression.

"That was impressive. How did you do it?"

For a moment, you were shocked. You didn't expect a positive response from him. With a slight smile to match, you beamed, "Stink pellets inside the roll. Had to wake up early to put it in."

"Wicked," Fred breathed out. You held a proud smile at his reaction.

"I'm Y/N L/N. Nice to meet you," you said, sticking your arm out to shake his hand. However, the gesture wasn't necessary, as it was quickly disregarded.

Fred slung his arm around your neck, pulling you to his side. Despite his short height as an eleven year old, you still only reached his chin. Gazing afar, he spoke dramatically.

"I'm Fred Weasley. Join us, and we can do great things together."

All you could do is nod in response with an idiotic grin plastered on your face.

"But I thought you hated Slytherins?" you asked tentatively. It seemed as if he and his brother pranked them the most, so you were slightly hesitant about his offer despite initially accepting. What if this was part of his retaliation?

"We don't hate anybody," George piped up, earning a nod of agreement from Fred. "We just like annoying them."

"Well then..." you trailed off, a side grin forming on your mouth. You laid your hand on Fred's shoulder, arm overlapping his around your neck.

"You can count me in."

~~~

Five years later, you and Fred were practically inseparable. You frequently hung out with him and George despite being in Slytherin, and you made sure to deal with the people who gave you guys shit for it accordingly.

It was a normal breakfast in the Great Hall. You sat in the Slytherin table, unable to fraternize with the other houses. Meanwhile at the Gryffindor table, Fred was arguably more upset than you were at that.

"Merlin, Fred, you've got to stop staring at Y/N,"

Ron sat in front of the lovesick boy, mouth filled with scrambled eggs as he held an expression of disgust. Fred snapped his head towards him, a blush appearing on his cheek.

"I'm not staring at her. Just looking outside. Beautiful day today, don't you think?" Fred mumbled under his breath, eyes scanning everywhere but Ron's face. George smirked at the sight, patting his shoulder roughly.

"Fred, it's raining," George deadpanned. An embarrassed look covered Fred's face as he scoffed down his porridge without looking back up at the amused boys. They just loved teasing him over breakfast.

"Honestly Fred, just ask her out to the Yule Ball. It's in three weeks and I doubt anybody else had the balls to ask her."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Fred narrowed his eyes at Harry's statement. He raised his arms in a playful surrender.

"I just mean that she might look intimidating to others, that's all," Harry explained defensively, followed by a light chuckle at Fred's protective behaviour. Just as you wouldn't let anybody give Fred shit, he was the same with you.

Taking another glance at you, Fred replied with an almost dreamy tone, "I know. That's what I love about her."

"Eww." A chorus of disgusted groans were heard around Fred after his cheesy comment. He was never aloof when it came to how he felt about you. It seemed out of character for him to be this utterly whipped for a girl, but you somehow managed to deeply entrance him.

Fred rolled his eyes at their immaturity while he stirred the porridge in his bowl. He genuinely considered what Harry suggested, but he didn't know how he would approach the topic with you. He felt silly for even imagining asking you to the Yule Ball.

"Hypothetically speaking, of course," Fred started tentatively, observing their reactions, "how might one ask someone to the ball? With a grand gesture or subtle confession?"

The boys stared at him for a moment with wide eyes, earning a confused glance from Fred. Then, they gave him a cheeky grin.

"Any way you'd like, Fred," George replied, lightly nudging his shoulder with his own. Fred became flustered at his word, quickly waving his hand to shut down their assumptions.

"No no, it's not for me. It's for a friend!" he rushed to defend himself.

"Don't you mean to a friend?"

"Ron!"

"What? He didn't lie," Harry added, shrugging innocently while he chewed on his bacon. Fred glared at him before returning back to his breakfast.

For a moment, the area went quiet. Fred failed to notice the amused glances Harry and Ron shot to each other, as well as the snickering done under their breath. When he finally glanced up and noticed the two boys biting back a chuckle, it was too late for him to question why.

"Missed me?"

A voice right next to his ear grabbed Fred's attention. He quickly whipped his head back, only to be met with your playful eyes staring back at him.

"Hey Freddie," you said with a light smile before turning to ruffle George's hair. "Hey George."

George sent you a wave back, moving him and his bag apart from Fred so you can sit in between. He left you enough space to fit, but nothing more, leaving your legs pressed against Fred's thigh and George's bag.

"Hey Y/N," Fred replied, fighting back a stutter threatening to show. His mind became hyperaware of how your leg felt against his, making his face slightly red.

"God, it is so boring there. I wish I was able to eat here," you said with a small chuckle. Fred nodded in agreement. You were glad that most of your classes were with each other, but mealtimes were too lengthy for you to enjoy on your own.

"Miss L/N!" Professor McGonagall shouted from her position. You already knew what she was going to say — something along the lines of having to stay at your own table during breakfast. It was a daily occurrence at this point, but she wasn't any more lenient.

"Yeah yeah, I'll go back!"

You looked towards Fred after your response, shooting him an apologetic smile. "She just won't let me breathe."

Fred chuckled at your nonchalance, how you were so used to McGonagall's constant admonishments. As you stood up from your spot, you grabbed Fred's pumpkin juice, taking a sizeable gulp from the cup before heading out of the Great Hall.

"I'll wait for you outside!"

Upon your departure, a chorus of ooooh's escaped the boys' lips. Fred sat still, staring at the spot on his cup where you drank with wide eyes and a flushed face.

"Would that be considered an indirect kiss?" Ron said, pointing to the glass with a juvenile grin. Fred smacked his hand away and diverted his gaze from the teasing males.

"No, that's childish," Fred replied, attempting to cover the fact that his mind was screaming the same thing. "I'm done eating. George?"

"I'm just gonna finish up. You go ahead, catch up with your girl."

"S-she's not my girl," Fred stammered, rising to his feet and grabbing his bag. He then left the Great Hall, ignoring the loud Not yet! coming from his twin.

Once he exited the hall, he noticed your figure standing by the staircase, playing with your fingers mindlessly. You then looked up at him, a small smile spreading across your face. The same smile he wishes to see everyday of his life.

"You ready?" you asked, skipping over to him. Fred gave you a slight nod, and you grabbed his hand before heading down the corridor. It became hard for him to fight the cherry colour from taking over his face after that.

Oh, how entirely whipped he is for you.

~~~

It was later that evening, and you, Fred, and George currently resided in library. You three have been studying for over an hour, but Fred didn't mind being here. After all, it was the only way he could stay with you this late.

The silence was broken when George let out a large yawn. An obnoxiously loud one. Fred's eyes narrowed at his sudden sleepy figure with curiosity.

"I think it's time for me to go to bed," George mumbled while rubbing his eyes. "I've studied enough today. You guys continue without me."

Fred kept his suspicion of him while you assumed the best. You gave him a small smile and a wave. "Sleep well."

"I will. Don't have too much fun," George replied, shooting a sly wink towards Fred before resuming his sleepy figure act.

That sneaky little git, Fred muttered under his breath. He knew George was trying to get them alone together. Unfortunately, Fred failed to plan what he was going to say to you when given the opportunity.

Thankfully, no planning was necessary. When faced with adversity, Fred's mind goes on autopilot and acts on pure instinct. Lucky for him, his instincts are quite Gryffindor in nature.

Without a second thought, Fred blurted out the three words he's been dreading to say.

"I like you."

And then, there was silence.

You paused your writing, dropping your quill onto your parchment with shock laced through your features. It took a moment for you to register his words before you looked up with a playful grin.

"I know."

Fred's eyes became widened, lips parted, and cheeks flushed in embarrassment. He began stammering as his nerves took over his consciousness.

"W-what? I thought I did a fine job hiding it. Was I that obvious?" Fred asked with a nervous chuckle. You reached across the table to lay your hand on his enclosed fist sitting next to his parchment.

"You weren't obvious. I'm just perceptive," you giggled as Fred slumped lower against his seat.

"Well now the confession is ruined!"

"I mean, you still caught me off guard for doing it today."

"Not good enough," Fred pouted, only slightly upset that he lacked the surprise factor.

"Don't worry. Next time you can surprise me," you said with an amused smirk, gently squeezing his fist. Fred only narrowed his eyes at you in response, sitting up properly on his chair.

Fred was unsure whether he should ask you to the Yule Ball. On one hand, the confession wasn't a total failure and you hadn't stormed off disgusted with him yet. But the lack of a clear response filled him with anxiety, wondering whether you really do feel the same.

Amidst the chaos of his rational mind, he acted on the very impulse that delivered his confession in the first place.

"Would you like to go to the Yule Ball with me?"

Your cheeks took on a cherry glow upon hearing his request. Although you didn't admit it, he was the reason you kept rejecting the other students who asked. You were hoping he would soon gather the courage, and so, you felt delighted at the outcome.

With a beaming smile, you nodded your head. "Of course, Freddie."

As if he wasn't expecting your response, his face fell into slight shock, mouth widening at the corners. If it wasn't for the table keeping you two apart, he would have been squeezing you tightly right now. Instead, he settled with releasing his fist and turning his palm over to hold the hand on his.

Looking down at the table, he remembered the dreaded purpose of you two being here. Homework. The thought almost slipped his mind, but the parchment in front of him placed him back in reality.

Noticing his attention diverted to his work, you released his hand to begin packing up your own. You gave him a mischievous grin as he stared at you in confusion. "How about we ditch the library and go to Gryffindor common room?"

With a smile to match, he put away his quill. "You get me, Y/N."

"I always have."

"And I love that about you."

Fighting back the blush rising to your cheek, you finished packing up and stood up from your spot. Fred got up after you, going over to your side and offering his hand. Just as you grabbed it, he suddenly placed his lips on your own.

Your eyes widened at the contact. You didn't expect the kiss, and neither did he. But you quickly melted into it, placing your free hand on his shoulder while his wrapped around your waist.

It was short and sweet. Filled with the innocence and depth of the feelings you two possess, and the intrinsic romantic quality of it being your firsts. It was everything and more of how you both imagined a first kiss would be. You loved this feeling.

Once you gradually pulled away, you both laughed. Hearty chortles escaped your throats in a beautiful interwoven melody. Fred leaned his forehead on yours and gazed into your eyes.

"Did that surprise you?"

With an endearing smile inspiring one on Fred's face, you affirmed, "Yes, it did."

Like your lips moments ago, you both spent the rest of the evening with your bodies gently intertwined, cuddling in front of the fireplace with tender hearts and contented smiles.

——————————

a/n — I hope you all enjoyed reading! Like, comment, and reblog to let me know what you think! Feel free to send requests or just give feedback in my inbox. Have a wonderful day/night 💞

[jaehyun-eclipsed]

Before I Met You | Eighteen

Updates: Sundays TBD

Pairing: NCT (Jaehyun, Lucas, Mark, Jaemin, Johnny) X Reader/OC

Genre: Romance, Angst, Coming of Age

Summary: Four. There were four people before I fell in love with you… Here are their stories.

Author’s Note: So we’re starting off part 4 today! I wanted to let you know that I am going to be a bit busy (school is starting for me, etc.) so unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be able to keep up with my weekly update. I might try biweekly updates, but I’m not quite sure what my schedule will look like yet. I might consider shorter updates, but that may disrupt the flow I want. Either way, rest assured, I have full intentions of continuing this story... albeit, a bit slower. 

Before I Met You Masterlist

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“I remember you telling me you had asked out one other guy before me,” Jaehyun says. “But I didn’t realize it was like that.”

I hug the throw pillow to my chest tighter and an embarrassed smile makes its way onto my features. “Mm, technically, I didn’t ask him. It was more like… well, I confronted him,” I admit.

His eyes widen like everything has come full circle. “This makes so much more sense now.”

“What?”

“When you asked me… that was like nothing in comparison.”

“I wouldn’t say that…”

“– and I didn’t even give you – God, I’m such a wimp,” he laments, covering his face with both of his hands in humiliation.

I shrug and rest my hand on his knee, gently rubbing circles over the denim of his pants. “Hey, we’re here now, aren’t we? Besides, we had more… legitimate problems. You had basically just started your job.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” He continues nodding to himself, mostly in agreement, though a nervous laugh quickly follows a loud huff. “But I’m still such a wimp! I couldn’t even call you!”  

“Well,” I begin, “you did call me. Though, I guess you could have at least left a message.” My eyes soften as I lift my hand to caress his face. “I don’t blame you though. I’m not worth your job, Jaehyun… and especially not when you’re just starting out.”

A small smile forms on his lips as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his lap and gently encouraging my head to rest against his chest. He presses a soft kiss into my hair.

“Thank you for caring, but I think you’re worth it.”

Jaehyun and I have been together for over two years. I suppose since we’ve made it this far, there’s no doubt he’d say that. He’s happy, I’m happy, things are good. We were lucky that it worked out for us. And while I wouldn’t have it any other way, I’m not entirely sure I really do think I’m worth it.

“How did you feel after that?” he asks, pulling me from my thoughts. “Like, just about the whole situation. You didn’t seem heartbroken over it, but you must’ve been upset.”

“No, I wasn’t heartbroken,” I concur. “But I was incredibly confused. And I hate being confused. When something doesn’t fit the logical mold, I don’t know how to function. It’s like my synapses misfire and I start coming up with all of these hypotheses – it’s a very desperate attempt because I start spit balling things that I know don’t add up and so I’m always left back where I started… confused and unable to piece together anything into a coherent story.”

Jaehyun tightens his hold on me and remains quiet for a moment.

“Did I make sense to you?”

“In the beginning, no.” I crack into a wide grin and look up at him. “You didn’t give me an answer and then the next time I stepped into the office, you kept trying to talk to me and started asking me all of these questions like nothing had happened. And it was so funny because we both knew there was this huge elephant in the room!”

“I couldn’t call you from my phone! Siwon told me not to! So I figured that if I show you some interest, then you wouldn’t completely hate me,” he responds. “And maybe you’d get the hint.”

“You could’ve written me a note!”

“I –” he begins quickly, an attempt to defend himself, though, he ultimately concedes. “Yeah, you’re right. I was scared!”

“You had right to be.”

“I still can’t believe you did that to that guy in college. He must’ve been terrified.”

“Yeah, probably.

“Did you ever see him around again?”

“Yeah, it was a little weird. Trying to force yourself to say ‘hi, how are you?’ to someone after that is kinda awkward.” I bite my lip as another memory resurfaces. “Honestly, the most frustrating part was when my mom called after she heard what I had done.”

“Oh no,” he remarks, his tone exhibiting full understanding of the situation.

“Yeah, she called and asked why I did that, how it wasn’t okay – she was switching back and forth between reprimanding me and asking if I was okay.”

“Why didn’t she think it was okay?”

“I think she thinks it’s not ‘lady-like.’ I’m not supposed to be so… assertive.”

“You’ve always been confident,” Jaehyun replies with a chuckle. “It’s something I’ve always admired about you. Ever since I met you.”

Junior year of college was starting out rather monotonous. Jia and I had moved back into the same house, choosing to remain roommates in the same room. We were pleasantly greeted by many new faces who seemed to be much more open to socializing with each other compared to the previous year’s tenants. I had been quick to learn that most of them knew each other from the dorms last year; they were already friends. Their openness even managed to coax the handful of residents that returned from last year into playing cards with them in the evenings.

I, on the other hand, had become much more reticent to join them. I had missed out on the first week’s socials, having to tend to family obligations immediately after finishing classes for the day. I’d watch them for a bit sometimes, heart heavy with a desire to belong and make more friends. I didn’t even know half of their names.

I spent most of my days on campus in class and then the library until dinner. When I went home for the day, I stayed in my room with Jia. Of course, she noticed my change in behavior from the previous year, but I couldn’t tell her the truth.

I couldn’t bring myself to spend my evenings downstairs anymore. It made me antsy. Last week, I happened to be in the dining room alone – a dangerous environment for my overly analytical brain. My eyes lingered over to the pool table and immediately, the events with Jaemin began playing right in front of me, incessantly on repeat. The laughter, the banter, and the seductive gazes were a sad reminder of how boys can really just suck sometimes. I missed what we had – which is so silly because it’s not like we really had anything. Longing, frustration, and confusion all hit me within a matter of seconds. I suppose it’s understandable. I didn’t really get closure with Jaemin. He just made me more confused than I already was.

Why? How?

I didn’t understand.

And naively, I only thought my residual feelings were as bad as it would get.

Yesterday, Suji and I happened to be walking through the student union after lunch. Being the third week of the semester, the student union had already resumed its normal busyness. We were searching for open seats to do some homework before needing to attend class, but were finding the effort to be useless. As we made our way towards the exit, I had the sudden feeling that someone was watching me. I frowned and when I turned my head, I immediately made eye contact with a familiar brown haired boy sitting at a table with his laptop.

Jaemin.

Be nice.

His expression was blank as he looked back at me. Desiring to be civil, I smiled warmly and waved to him, watching him return the gestures before looking away.

That was the first time I saw him this semester.

And while I didn’t think I would never see him, I certainly didn’t expect to run into him every day after that. It was always in different places around campus between classes. For such a large campus, I’m surprised we had that much overlap in class locations.

“Hey!”

“Hm?” My eyes widen and I quickly look up at Jia who has a slightly perplexed expression.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Oh um, I was thinking about my schedule for tomorrow,” I lie.

“Oh really?” she asks. “You looked like you were concentrating very hard.”

I shrug and shake my head slowly. “Long day tomorrow.”

“Oh, okay. Have you seen the boys around here?”

“I’m never here so I haven’t really seen anyone except for… I think his name is Hendery? He’s cute.”

“Oh, yeah, I saw him. Have you seen Johnny? I think he’s really attractive. More attractive than Hendery.”

“Uh, no. Have you talked to him?”

“Yeah! I talked to him one time! He’s really nice. And really tall too.”

“Oh.” I reach over to the other side of my bed and grab my phone. “Do you know his last name?”

“Suh.”

Jia climbs up onto my bed to sit next to me while I type the name into the Instagram search bar.

“That’s him,” she says, pointing to the first result.

Johnny is quite handsome. Midnight black hair, defined jawline, and a very friendly smile.

“Oh, he is cute,” I say. “But what’s this?”

I tap on the second most recent selfie of Johnny and a girl sitting at table with two cups of boba. The caption reads, “Happy Birthday to this one 😘💕”

“Damn, it looks like he has a girlfriend,” I say with a sigh. “Oh well!”

If I were being completely truthful, another reason I wasn’t interested in spending time downstairs was because part of me didn’t actually want to make friends with anyone at the house. Jaemin was still a sore spot and all because of him, I had decided that finding a potential love interest amongst your housemates was a bad idea. Perhaps that was a bit narrow minded because it’s not like I had to befriend any of them with that intention. I never had that intention with Jaemin to begin with.

But maybe that’s what I was afraid of. I never meant to fall for Jaemin – it just happened.

There’s obviously no guarantee that it would happen in the same way again, but in thinking about Lucas and Jaemin, I felt that the chance was more than miniscule. And that risk was enough for me to decide against it.

Okay, do not go into the student union right now because Jaemin will probably be there since you saw him there at this time last week.

Library it is.

I grab my backpack and throw it over my shoulder as class ends, quickly leaving the room and finding myself thrown into a crowded hall of students trying to exit the building. Walking past several students sitting on the floor outside of my classroom, I turn the corner and immediately deadpan.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Jaemin and I instantly lock eyes as he walks from the opposite direction. He looks at me for a moment before turning away and continuing to chat with the girl next to him. I squint in confusion, chastising whatever supernatural forces could have caused this chance encounter.

Since when does he have class at this time?! And in this building?! I’ve never seen him here in all the time I’ve had class this semester!

I try to remain expressionless as I mentally prepare myself to walk by him. He’s acting as if he’s completely invested in his conversation, turned completely inward towards the girl and ignoring any oncoming people that may pass by.

Okay, so you’re just going to act like I’m not here, got it. I guess I won’t say hi.

I keep my head down as he comes within earshot, keeping an eye on him from my periphery.

“I’ll see you later,” he says to the girl before abruptly turning around and trailing behind me.

Oh?

“Hey.”

Unfortunately, my mouth works faster than my brain in this instant and my bitterness quickly reveals itself.

“Endless running into you, huh?”

That didn’t come out right.

“Yeah…” he slowly responds.

Yeah, that definitely didn’t come out right.

He maneuvers to my right side to walk directly next to me. “Where are you going?” he asks.

“Life sciences building,” I say, keeping my gaze forward.  

We walk several more steps towards the entrance, slowly making our way upstream of all of the students pouring into the building.  

“You?” I ask.

“Uh, Wheeler, which is that way,” he says, pointing in the opposite direction. “Ah, I always forget my orientation.”

It seems like you’re always doing that when you’re with me.

A few silent moments pass between us as I’m at a loss of what to say. I obviously didn’t start out with a very friendly demeanor, which I’m guessing he probably didn’t expect given my smile and wave last week.  

What the fuck am I supposed to say? Pretty sure you didn’t come up to me to have a “let’s be friends!” chat.

“So how’s everything going?” I ask, glancing over my shoulder to see him a couple steps behind me.

“Uh… good,” Jaemin says. “Busy junior year. How about you?”

“Uh, same. Yeah…”

There’s a hell of a lot of other things going on, but I don’t know how much I should or want to elaborate. One of those things is you, but we won’t go into that.

“Where are you going?” he asks.

Um, I just told you.

I open my mouth to repeat what I told him thirty seconds earlier, but am cut off by his quick memory.

“Oh, life science building, right, which is that way,” he says, pointing in the proper direction.  

Yep… that way. Why does it seem like you’re so nervous?

“Did you just have a class in here?” I ask.

“Yeah, had class in here and now I’m going to Wheeler,” he repeats.  

Yeah, I know. You just said that.

“So you’re going that way?” he asks again, pointing straight ahead as soon as we make it outside the building.

“Yep…”

“Okay, I’m going this way. See you later.”

“See ya.”

Well, I guess the ice has been broken.  

I just didn’t really get it. I thought that after the whole falling out between us, I was never going to see him again. Jaemin was my adventure for sophomore year. Done, chapter finished. That’s basically what it was with everyone else. I’ve never run into Lucas when I return home during breaks. I rarely see my floormates from freshman year – maybe a couple of them once while walking between classes and then never again. Obviously because Jaemin and I go to the same school, there’s always a chance that we will see each other.

But every single day for a week?! That’s gotta be some kind of record.

There’s what – 36,000 people here? So the chance of seeing any one person is about 1/36,000; even less because each person can only be in one place at any given time. So seeing Jaemin once on a fluke wouldn’t be unusual and would probably be kind of nice just to smile and wave, “Hi, I know you exist and you suck, nice to briefly see you.”

There’s too much of a coincidence for this to mean nothing. But I don’t know what that is because there’s likely no chance of us actually dating and I’m pretty sure he isn’t trying to be casual friends with me.    

The knife glides seamlessly as I guide it through the cantaloupe. Several drops of juice spill out onto the cutting board. As I begin slicing it into trapezoidal pieces, my eyes flicker back and forth between the fruit and the boy cooking at the stove.

I immediately recognize him to be Johnny. The pictures didn’t do him justice. He’s definitely better looking in person and much taller than I had initially expected. Sporting a casual black t-shirt and jeans, I take note of his broad shoulders and relatively muscular arms.

“Hey, is it okay if I open the door? I’m using a lot of pepper,” Johnny suddenly says to me.

“Oh, yeah, sure.”

I shift my weight between each leg, trying to figure out something to say to break the ice. I’m aware that Johnny has a girlfriend, but that doesn’t mean I can’t at least introduce myself. I don’t know anyone here anyway – with the exception of Jia and knowing the names of the few returning residents from last year. It just seems so much more intimidating to talk to a cute person because I don’t want him to think I’m hitting on him. Though, it’s kind of a bold assumption to make.

“What are you cooking?” I finally ask.

“Uh, salt and pepper chicken.”

“Oh. That sounds good!” I respond. “I don’t think we’ve formally met. My name is Y/N.”

“I’m Johnny.”

After proceeding through the normal “first time meeting fellow college student” questions, I learn that Johnny is a CS major who was originally born in Seoul, but moved to San Jose when he was only a few years old.

“I haven’t seen you around here too often,” Johnny says. “Do you just hang out in your room?”

“In the evenings, yeah. Otherwise I go to the library between classes and stay there until dinner.”

“Wow, I wish I studied like that. I study in my room, but I get distracted by my roommates a lot. Maybe I should go to the library too.”

I shrug. “I get more work done, but I almost don’t have friends,” I reply with a chuckle. “Just a couple that I go out to dinner with every once in a while.”

“You should hang out with us downstairs. My roommate Hendery is always looking for people to talk to. And Chaeyoung is really nice; she was my floormate last year. She always has snacks to share.”

I have an in! I can make more friends! And they seem nice! And they probably won’t flirt with me and tell me they were just being friendly!

God, I’m still so salty about that.

“Are you a part of any clubs?” he asks.

“No, I tried to join a dance club, but decided not to. I also did archery for a little bit, but I don’t go anymore.”

“Archery? We have archery here?”

“Yeah, it’s at the baseball field on the other side of campus though. I’d go, but we don’t have a bus that goes directly there.” “You don’t have anyone to go with?”

“No.”

“Oh.” He looks at the ground and purses his lips. “Well, if you ever wanna go back, I’ll go with you. I’d like to try!”

The cute guy wants to be friends with me! Yay!

“That would be fun! Yeah, I’d like to get back into it.”

“So I met Johnny downstairs,” I say, popping a piece of cantaloupe into my mouth.

“Ooh,” Jia coos. “What did you think?!”

“He’s cute and he’s really nice. He invited me to hang out with him and some of the other people that are downstairs all the time.”

Jia frowns, seemingly offended that she wasn’t offered an invitation. “He didn’t invite me!”

“We were talking about clubs and friends. Did you guys talk about that?”

“Oh.” She retracts her hurt expression, but only momentarily. “No, we just talked about the classes we’re taking. But you always get invited to things. Like I want to be asked to do a photoshoot.”

I’m rendered a bit speechless by her comment. Jia has never been this… blunt? I didn’t know that she noticed or even cared. Ten has asked me to be his model a handful of times to practice his photography skills, but that’s about it. I always thought Jia was more social than I was. She went on dinner outings and had friends over much more frequently than I did. Granted, when the amount of times I do those things is nearly zero (in reality, it’s probably a couple times a month), anything more than that would seem frequent to me.

“You know how my friends came over last week and you came in for a couple minutes to put something away, but then went out with Ten again?” she begins. “After you left, one of my friends said that she’s surprised I would get along with someone who looks like you.”

What the hell?

My eyebrows raise in astonishment. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know.”

I’m silent for a moment as I consider the situation. Jia looks like your typical studious international student. She wears oversized glasses, never wears makeup except for job interviews and special occasions, and generally wears plain jeans and simple long-sleeved shirts. Her system is based on efficiency.

I’ve always been sort of the opposite. Not to say that I’m not efficient, but I don’t mind sacrificing a little sleep to do my hair and makeup every morning. I’ve always held myself to a higher standard of presentation. And I guess it’s not unusual for me to hear comments about being attractive or looking like a sorority girl. Not sure the latter is said as a compliment, but I digress.

“She thinks I look like a partier, huh?”

“I think so.”

I purse my lips and nod my head slowly, a bit displeased about the superficial impression from a stranger. I am not a partier in the slightest.

“Anyway,” she begins, switching the subject again, “it’s too bad Johnny has a girlfriend, huh?”

I sigh, as my thoughts regarding our previous subject of discussion have not been settled. I can’t say I like being perceived that way. Is Jia… jealous? I’ve never made it a point to tell her what I’m doing, but she always asks every time I get ready to leave the room. Otherwise, I wouldn’t tell her.

“Yeah… too bad.”  

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