#just not major enough to be considered ocd

[chronicbeans]

Platonic Alastor x Maladaptive Daydreamer Reader

Hehe not me self-projecting again! Anyways, these are kinda based on my own experiences, but I'm trying to make them more generalized.

TW: Maladaptive daydreaming, escapism, dissociation, mentions of depression and anxiety, brief mentions of compulsive behavior/OCD, invasion of privacy, manipulation, peer pressure, yandere-ish behavior (I believe he defaults to those behaviors, no matter the type of relationship), mention of cannibalism (this is Alastor we're talking about...), Alastor is a shitty toxic friend in this

• He's absolutely fascinated by the way your mind works. Even before he knows what is going on, or begins to get close to you, he can tell you are an interesting person. The way you look so distant, like your mind is checked out and flying to far off places without you, is something he hasn't seen before. He wants to pick and prod at your brain to see what's going on.

• He doesn't want to do so the easy way, though. No. Instead, he wants to drag out this process for as long as possible, and make sure you twist and squirm all the while. He loves to make people uncomfortable, after all! That's his specialty, in his opinion, besides his radio show.

• He'll start off with introductions, of course, which is probably when he first got interested in you. That dreamy look isn't so easy to see from a distance, after all. The second he looked into your eyes while shaking your hand, though, it became obvious. How hadn't he seen it before? If he saw this look when he first entered, he would've talked to you first out of the crew at the Hazbin Hotel. Well, besides Charlie... But, that's just because she owns the place.

•The uncomfortable prodding starts in an instant. One of his first questions after getting your name is not "What made you want to come to the hotel?" or "What can you provide to help the hotel?" It's more like "How did you die?", "What are your major vices?", and "What sin have you committed to be brought to Hell?" He wants to test the waters. See what he can get away with without completely scaring you off. If you run away and avoid him, it'd be harder to learn what he wants, and make you uncomfortable while doing so.

• Regardless of whether or not you answer, you are probably a little put off from him. Not enough to completely avoid him, since you can see how some of those questions might help him help the hotel, but enough to be uncomfortable... Which, in his opinion, is perfect!

• He's great at hiding, so if you start noticing him mentioning things you thought were private, you really shouldn't be surprised. He can, quite literally, hide in the shadows at times. He quickly takes notes of your little habits, including ones you might be embarrassed about.

• He may watch you pacing around your room, mumbling to yourself as if you are playing pretend all alone. Or, maybe, he's hiding over your shoulder while you're writing down some elaborate storyline. Perhaps he's watching you in plain sight, seeing you make a bunch of odd facial expressions at seemingly nothing. He may not know why you do this, but he wants to. He would've suspected some sort of substance use, considering it's Hell. Lots of people do so. However, he's never seen you near anything that would cause such behavior. So, that's off his list, for now.

• So, step 2 of his plan begins! As his good ol' pals Husk and Niffty to try befriending you! Or, at the very least, get information from you that you aren't comfortable telling him. Then, have them report back to him with their findings. Of course, Husk seems agitated by the request, but obliges. Niffty seems more than happy to do as he asks, though. A happy worker is a good worker, so he has more hope in Niffty getting the big story than Husk.

• Surprisingly, though, he's proven wrong. The most Niffty got was your fashion sense, favorite types of stories, and that you are very "quiet". Yes, the fashion and types of stories were new to him... But what he seems important, the reason you act so oddly, isn't there. Husk, however, was able to get a lot more out of you, somehow.

• Husk mentions you talking to him, one night, after he saw you skipping oddly down the hall and pass the bar where he was cleaning the glasses before closing it for the night. You seemed extremely embarrassed to have been seen, mentioning that you thought he was asleep already. He then just, politely asked a few questions...? And got answers? How?

• Alastor immediately demands answers, only for Husk to reply "I don't know how to describe it like they did! Most I understood is that they daydream too much. Seems like it's a constant thing going on. They like to pace and prance while doing so, sometimes, but don't like getting caught."

• Now it begins to make more sense... the writing, the talks about stories with Niffty, the prancing and pacing... and most importantly, that dreamy, distant look you have. He can even see why you'd make odd expressions. You're reacting to your own thoughts... He doesn't understand it. He's never heard of anything like this before, especially during his time as a human, but he can tell one thing for certain: You must be his friend, now. Whether you like it or not.

• You are so different from everyone else he's met, you see, and he loves things that go against the norm. Now, while you may or may not be considered normal or not too different by others, you're different and abnormal to him. You somehow succeed in both being polite, smart, and funny to mess around with, while also barely being able to pay attention to the world around you. He's always thought that those two things were mutually exclusive. How can you learn when you can't stop being in your own head? How can someone be polite and not listen? The funny part, though... He can kind of see that. He finds surprising you be sneaking up behind you and tapping your shoulder funny every now and again. Nevertheless, you are going to be his friend.

• Soon enough, you notice his behavior changing, a bit. Less following you around, less vaguely threatening words, and more... quiet. It's eerie, coming from him. However, you also notice him trying to talk to you about stories and books he's heard and read. Even things he's heard during his human life, such as Creole folktales and other stories he's heard in New Orleans, Louisiana back in the 1920s-1930s. It's a bit like a completely different side to him you never expected to see, and never really wanted to, but you aren't really complaining. It's better than him deciding to terrorize you for fun and him asking invasive questions...

• A little more time passes and he decides to ask about small habits, disguising them as him just now noticing those habits, when he's probably noticed them while spying on you months prior. Nothing too extreme. Mostly just your expressions, how it seems like your attention is somewhere else... Nothing like your pacing, prancing, or acting. He wants to establish that he knows about these tiny little things, and now that you're more comfortable with him, you're much more likely to answer. That way, once he moves onto the bigger, more personal questions, you'll already have been eased into feeling comfortable with it.

• Eventually, you get to the point where you feel comfortable calling him a friend. He's already considered you one since that conversation with Husk, but it's a start. Now, he's gotten the lovely privilege of being able to know more about what's going on in that lovely little brain of yours... well, "little" brain is definitely an understatement. From how you describe your imagination, he'd be led to believe your mind must be as vast as the Library of Alexandria.

• Vast worlds, complicated plotlines, complex characters... you talk of odd tales you've created, all in your brain. Ones you've had in your mind for years, some you came up with on a whim, and others, still, that are still being developed. Stories that have been being created over the span of real life years, ones you started then dropped... All of which are being held in your head, with only a miniscule fraction of it being written onto paper. He's truly impressed, genuinely respecting your odd talent, as he sees it. You've perfected the craft of creativity, while he's perfected the art of talking to an audience. Even better, is that he got to learn whether or not his theory of you taking inspiration from stories you've heard was right. Which explains his sudden mentions of stories he's heard in life.

• Now... if only you'd let him tell some of your stories on his radio show! If you wouldn't like that, then he'd probably ask you to write something for his show. That way, it isn't as personal to you, and you wouldn't even need to be credited if you're embarrassed by it! He could just say a random listener sent it in, and he thought it'd be great to read, to show his appreciation for his adoring fans. The world simply must hear the greatness of your mind, dear, and he is not going to stop annoying politely asking you to write something until you do.

• Another thing he might try is to see if he can figure out why you partake in this little habit of yours. He's never heard of it, though he has asked some sinners and demons if they have. Be it Charlie, Angel Dust, some of the other overlords, or a friend of his we haven't seen or heard of, before. More modern sinners keep mentioning a thing called Maladaptive Daydreaming, describing it as a symptom of other mental health diagnoses... but that's the problem. That fits you, you've mentioned that you know of that and it fits you... but that's also just a symptom. Well, a few argue that it may be its own thing, but it is not an official diagnosis yet. So, for now, he wants to figure out why you do it.

• Is it depression? Anxiety? Do you really want to escape from something, and you're doing so by hopping into that little dream land of yours? Is it some sort of compulsion? You seem to not really be able to control it that well, after all, and others have mentioned links to OCD, as well as other disorders that can cause compulsions. Is it sheer, absolute, chronic boredom? Speak to him, dear! What is it? Do you even know? If not, he'll assume it's the boredom option... for now.

• He's obsessed with you, really. You're his friend, and he's very obsessive over them, in his own way. He is as far away from normal when it comes to showing real affection for others, which wouldn't be bad, if it weren't for the fact that a main part of it is him being absolutely suffocating when he's around. That, and he can be terrifying... He's the Radio Demon, after all! It's just worse for you than his other friends, though, because you are different. Being different is a really important thing for him, really, alongside being polite, smart, and funny. Not required, unlike the last three traits, but it makes you more likely to be his friend. You hit the lottery by achieving being all four, but it must be the worst lottery prize in the world.

• He holds the thought that you should just be friends with him. Now, you don't have to be... but, he'd prefer it. If you really want outside friends, sure! You just can't be friends with his other friends. He claims they'd "taint" you with how violent they can be. Plus, since he's friends with other cannibals, some of which do serve sinner and demon meat to others without telling them, he genuinely does worry about your safety and wellbeing if you met those specific friends of his. For your friends, he wants to meet them. He needs to in order to deem them worthy of being your friend, and to make sure it's not someone he knows and is friends with. You deserve perfection, and who knows perfection better than Alastor, yes? After all, he can see that you're perfect. That is more than enough evidence, dear.

• You're one of the few people who he doesn't mind having your attention not on him. Part of your charm, in his opinion, is your lack of attention. All he asks is that you tell him about a story of yours. What is going on in your head that's so important? Oh, a great war between this and that? A psychological horror? Cities beneath the sea? Tell him about it. He finds it fun! Especially if he can see any possible inspiration from events or other stories. He likes to hear your voice almost as much as he likes to hear his own, which you'll realize is more of a compliment than it might sound like, once you truly get to know him.

[abnormal-vacuum]

A closer look at Simon "Ghost" Riley's interpersonal guilt

1 + 2 + 3 + chapter 4 ghost/soap 1,138 words - ao3 tags: mentions/discussions of sexual assault + rape. not too graphic i dont think but tread with caution . maybe a little bit of ocd coded ghost

Simon is fairly certain he's liked the Sergeant for a long time. Maybe since the first time they met. Probably not, his hair pissed him off. But very quickly he grew much too fond of him. 

It's always been a very frustrating affair when Simon catches feelings, ever since he was little. Originally, when he was a boy, he was upset because it made him realize he was gay. It took him a long while (11 years, actually) to get over that. But as he got older—after Roba—his frustration stemmed from the fact that it would never work. He would never allow it to work. He was too fucked up to ever be in a proper relationship. He has a hard time sharing a bed due to his nightmares (or night terrors, depending on how truthful he's being in describing the reality of the situation), he's very stubborn when it comes to his routines and “odd habits”, he’s slow to trust, and has enough baggage to sink a ship. The last time he hooked up with someone was maybe seven years ago, and even then he left nearly as soon as they both finished. He hasn't simply slept in the same bed as someone in… four years, probably. And that was with Price. It was a one time thing they have yet to discuss.

This is all without taking into account Simon's distaste towards contact, especially in a sexual manner. He dislikes even being naked in front of someone due to the fact that it makes him feel vulnerable. The act of sex itself makes him feel like he’s both the victim and the aggressor. He would never call himself a rapist, but the term still weighs heavy in his chest. It pops into his head any time things get a little too heated with a man at a pub, along with images of his hands forcibly being put onto a woman. Luckily he’s long since given up on endeavors like finding a stranger to shag. He technically has assaulted women before. Three, to be exact. He doesn't remember what their faces look like. He's fairly certain he watched anywhere but in their eyes on purpose. One had brown hair and a tattoo on her inner thigh, he remembers that. She bled. He started crying, apologizing. He knows she couldn't understand him. He hopes this doesn't make him a bad person. Or maybe he does. This uncertainty is what tears him up. Sometimes he wishes someone would just grip him by the shoulders and shout at him for all the horrible things he's done. Get it out in the open, maybe some confirmation would be good, as the ambiguity of his own morality is a subject he often ponders to a self-sabotaging extent. He knows that what he did to survive under Major Vernons and Roba’s hands doesn't represent him. He would have never, under his own volition, done anything like that; but, in the end, just knowing that he caused that sort of harm to anyone… it sickens him. 

And thinking about accidentally doing something like that to Johnny… it makes him want to never touch him ever again. Most days he can't even properly have a wank because that stupid bastard's face will present itself in his formerly anonymous fantasy, then that will quickly devolve into him being concerned about him somehow forcing himself onto the sergeant. And how does one even broach this subject when speaking to someone? There’s no casual way to say “oh, yes, hello, by the way I’m very worried about somehow raping you.” He would sound like a madman, more than he already seems. 

This is all in relation to Johnny's wellbeing. If Simon was considering himself, he might have to stay at least three meters away from Soap at all times. The last time he touched Ghost (a prolonged hold on his shoulder, paired with eye contact that made Simon feel as if Johnny was trying to crawl inside his skull) his skin burned for hours. He can't imagine the pain he’d be in if they were to, god forbid, cuddle. 

Besides, he would never want to burden someone like Johnny with someone like Him. He’s a lot to handle, which is why he does most of the handling on his own. Soap is privy to maybe two percent of Simon's issues, and even then the ones he does know about are surface level. He doesn't need to know anything beyond what he can extrapolate based on Ghost's somewhat bizarre behavior. Simons moderately damaging inner reflection and self awareness has begun to present itself as a problem. He's been in his own head a lot recently-- not when it's dangerous, as he's a good enough soldier to be able to turn that off in the field and the debrief room, but it has become a small issue when he's attempting to socialize. Or, more accurately, when someone is trying to socialize with him. Frequently he finds himself sitting, or standing, just… thinking. He thinks too much. 

Johnny sometimes helps. It's like he can sense when Simon is in distress, like a damn therapy dog. Then he just stands there and goes into some swear ridden spiel that has Simon forgetting his train of thought. Sometimes he wonders if he does this on purpose, but then he deems that too conspiratorial and self indulgent to be the truth. 

He’s gone over these points time and time again in his head, all the while he's got no idea if Johnny even likes men. 

He needs to find a hobby. 

A few card games later, Ghost decides it's time to head back to his room. He says it's because he's getting tired, but really it's because he doesn't want anyone to see him leaving the Sergeants room at this hour. He isn't concerned about his reputation—he's more concerned about Johnny’s. Sleeping with your superiors is already frowned heavily upon, let alone sleeping with The Ghost. Not that they were doing that, but nobody would believe them if they tried to explain themselves. 

Simon doesn't sleep that night. He lies awake, staring at his ceiling for hours until the light starts to peek through the blinds on the small window of his quarters. He checks the clock, then peels himself out of bed and starts to get dressed. He’s running drills today. Simon hauls himself through his usual routine of getting changed, walking a few paces around his room without socks, then checking the closet once before tugging his boots on and slipping out the door. He jingles the knob once, then twice to “double check” whether it's locked. He wanders through the sparsely populated halls towards the mess. He might go to the gym after getting some grub, but he hasn't fully decided. 

[stupidlittlespirit]

this might be a weird ask but you've mentioned having OCD and i just wonder if you like, also struggle with the idea of the "Ao3 Author's Curse". i have a longish ford x reader fic idea i've been rotating in my head for like a year now on top of a bunch of little one shots but i'm scared to actually write more for them especially post them LOL . like i imagine the ao3 curse legend is really because 1) a lot of people that write fanfic are usually using it as some sort of escape / coping method and have stuff going on already and 2) people just feeding into the concept for fun and not being entirely truthful but at the same time i don't knowwwwww it's so Scary . but i just wanted to see if this was something other people genuinely struggled with hahaha

Not weird at all because I absolutely do. It's actually something that I struggle with a lot and I've had several moments where I've considered not even continuing to post because of it.

What I'll say is that it's worth keeping in mind that it's very likely a mix of attribution bias and confirmation bias that caused the idea.

The 'ao3 c*rse' (see, can't even type the word lol) is basically a version of that. People are following the posting of an author's work and expect semi-regular updates, so an author will explain why/if there has been anything that has slowed down their writing process, and most of the time these obstacles tend to be negative in nature.

Because the audience is predominantly made aware of the negatives, it's the main thing they focus on. They make the illogical attribution of the events to the posting of fanfic instead of something more reasonable, like a coincidence or unfortunate happenstance. IE. I got a bacterial infection UTI because I'm writing Ford smut, not because I'm prone to them and I've been stressed in real life over non-internet things (which is the logical and more likely reason).

People will select this negative information specifically because it backs up their preconceived idea that bad things happen when you post fics (confirmation bias).

And ta-da! That's basically how you get the concept. In psychology, the belief is called Magical Thinking. MT is the belief that a person's thoughts and/or unrelated actions can bring about real-world changes.

Unfortunately, severe Magical Thinking is pretty common for people with OCD so when we write and post, it becomes much harder to view it as a running joke.

I know that it's really scary, believe me, but I want you to try and focus on the science side of it. There's a real popularisation of MT in the form of things like astronomy/manifesting/magic in the mainstream, but the majority of things that happen in that sense are coincidence. For better or worse, we as people have no control over coincidence. Life is a roll of the dice at all times. Arguably, that's scarier because you're completely out of control and you can't influence the outcome, but there's also a lot of freedom in knowing that. Things happen and you just have to deal with them.

With OCD, that's much harder to accept. Refusing rituals and safety practises feels awful and unnatural, because we do them to stay safe. But in reality, we can only do so much. I can wash my hands all the time to stop myself getting unwell, but also touching the light switch 7 times to stop myself from catching a cold is not going to affect the outcome any more so than handwashing. I know that. Does that mean I'm not going to do it? No, but it is something that I try to keep in mind.

Things happen and we as humans love to attribute them to things, even if they make no sense. 'It's fate' or 'I believed hard enough to make my dreams come true' are actually all fake, in terms of our understanding of quantifiable science. Some things we have control of but a lot of the time, it's just chance.

I would say try posting a short drabble before you commit to a big project. You can warm yourself up with something small that doesn't have as much responsibility as a multi-chapter story, so you can just test the water. If something bad does happen (because you do have to accept the odds that maybe it will, that's coincidence for you!) then try to look at the real world information surrounding that event before attributing it directly to the posting of fanfic on a website. And even if you do start posting a big fic and something happens that makes you want to stop, you can do that! You can just stop posting. There's no pressure for you to continue, no matter what anyone says :)

I know it's not as simple as reading this and taking it on board. If it were, I wouldn't have OCD lol. But I hope it at least gives you some idea of where those ideas come from. You are no more at risk of having a bad day because you posted fic than you are if you don't post. I hope that helps a little bit!

[covetyou]

ty @perotovar for the tag you cutie pie. I love silly little questions (I'm procrastinating making dinner and writing, so I'd love anything more than those things rn tbh)

me yapping below, if you'd like to know silly little answers to some questions

Do you make your bed?: a vague attempt at flapping my sheets is made most days, but it's never neatly made.

Favorite number?: 7! I can't tell you why it just has always been that way. when I found out my sun sign is in my 7th house I had an "of course 😌" moment even though I don't really even know what that means but it feels right.

What's your job?: books! and data!

If you could go back to school, would you?: there was a time I seriously considered a masters so I could go more ham with using corpora to study trends in language, but I didn't. now I literally work with data and databases and analysis of that data, and books have words in them so 🤷‍♀️

Can you parallel park?: I don't know what I'm capable of (I got my full license a little over a decade ago and can legally go buy a car and drive it all by myself even though honestly I have no clue if I can even drive any more and I'd probably be a major hazard. I've never driven a car with a full license, not as a learner)

Do you think aliens are real?: with how impossibly massive the universe is? duh. as long as they stay away though pls and thank you.

Can you drive a manual car?: I am licensed to, though once again, who knows what I am capable of (this sounds like a threat and maybe it is)

What's your guilty pleasure?: no guilty pleasures here!

Tattoos?: none! I've thought of various ideas for them for years and years and never committed to anything because I am so painfully indecisive. I will probably get one soon though, it is perfect but the idea makes me devastatingly sad. (a little print of my dogs paw on the top of my right foot - she always stands on it and always leaves a little indent and I'd like to walk with her forever)

Favorite color?: pink or yellow

Do you like puzzles?: fuck yes! we have one on the go called pumpkin patch right now. I'm very tempted by a colourful mushroom one too.

Any phobias?: yes, and I'm not typing it out because that makes me feel Worse™ and feeds into my OCD in ways I do not need at any time, let alone at nighttime.

Favorite childhood sport?: I hated team sports as a kid and still do now. I played rugby for a little while when I was 15, and liked when we did tennis or hockey during PE, but outside of that sport was not for me. turns out I'm a solo exercise bitch though.

Do you talk to yourself?: I am fortunate enough to have a dog who I can direct most of my chronic yapping towards, so I look less insane and feel less compelled to talk to myself. I do do the standard "what the fuck am I doing" and the like when I enter a room and immediately forget why I went there in the first place

no clue who has done this or not but @milla-frenchy @jolapeno @strang3lov3 @beefrobeefcal

and, finally, puppy tax for getting this far

[shazzbaa]

Please disregard my ask about spoiler tags lmao I was looking at a reblog and not your actual post. Thanks for tagging stuff! It really bugs me how people are super casual about deep-cut spoilers! Sorry for com8ng at you about nothing!

Oh, thank you, that's nice of you! I too wish for a more consistent spoiler etiquette in this fandom lmao, though I look at it a little differently? I think there's a big difference between posting untagged spoilers on your own blog, vs adding a spoiler to someone else's post.

Like, I kinda understand this fandom having a more spoiler-lax culture, not just because Fallen London is a 15-year-old game, but also because its worldbuilding is all so well-integrated that it becomes quite difficult to just talk about the world or your character if you're being really mindful of spoilers! It's one of my favourite things about FL honestly -- there's some actual Reveals, but so many of the world's mysteries aren't reveals so much as just Things You Don't Know Yet. Characters or text refer to something odd, and it feels like a mystery, until you've stumbled over enough references that you connect a bunch of the dots, and then it's just a straightforward part of the world that changes how you see all those other references, in a way that makes it hard not to just, integrate this new information into your basic understanding of the setting. I think it's part of the reason why FL can have such bonkers lore and still feel so grounded. So while some things can be straightforwardly tagged, so much is just impractical.

And, like, not everybody can even DO tagging for various brain reasons, competing access needs etc etc (as an OCD-haver I VERY MUCH understand how something that seems small can end up a huge, brain-swirly difficulty that you have to just drop to have fun on tumblr dot com), so like, all that to say if someone does not want to bother tagging spoilers on their own blog, I think that's fine! I won't follow them!

Anyway, I tag ambitions, railway ("great hellbound railway"), evolution ("evolution spoilers" and "fallen london evolution"), and exceptional stories as a group ("exceptional story spoilers" and "es spoilers"). If I get around to and post about firmament (please tell me nothing about firmament!!!) I'll tag that too. I don't often tag for content warnings, these are unreliable and I think unfollowing or blocking me is your best bet if you really need content tagged with a lot of care! SOME DAY MAYBE I'LL MAKE A PINNED POST ABOUT THIS.

I do enjoy discovering Fallen London for myself as much as possible, to an extent I kind of think the general fandom doesn't even consider spoilers? Haha. There's sort of a General Assumed Fandom Knowledge and you really have to signal constantly if you want to sit outside of that, thus my frequent "no spoilers, please!" notes on posts (because you absolutely might get major spoilers in the tags if you don't mark posts that way, even posts about the middle of a storyline. That's wild to me!! but tbf everyone's been super polite when I DO include the note, so I can't complain!) But this all just means I don't look at the Fallen London tag, I don't follow Fallen London blogs outside of friends who are at roughly the same stage of the game, and in general I think that's kinda the only way to get that experience. There's a couple more things I want to experience for myself, but after that I hope to finally peek into the tag, just enjoy the fandom, and discover things through other people, too. Coming into the game so late but really enjoying the world's mysteries, this is the way that made the most sense to me, and while I've missed out on fandom stuff, for me it's been worth it. I've never played another game like Fallen London.

[caesariawritesstuff]

♡ CaesariaWrites ♡

● Ao3 ● X ● Retrospring ●

Hi! I'm Caesaria. I write for the Riddler and other Gotham Rogues, but you'll find 95% of my content is Riddler orientated. My current focus is on my long-fic, Cat & Mouse.

♡ I'm a 30-year-old cis female living in the Midwest.

♡ When not writing fanfic, my focus is on my original fiction, as I have big dreams of becoming a published author one day.

♡ I was diagnosed with Anxiety, Depression, and OCD.

♡ Fun fact about me: I'm blind in one eye.

♡ I'm pretty active on here, so my ask box is always open for requests, to chat, or just send me whatever you want.

♡ My Ask Box is OPEN

♡ Current No. of Requests: 8

♡ I write primarily for the Riddler (Arkham, Telltale, Gotham, Zero Year, BTAS), but I will write for the other Gotham Rogues, particularly for Scarecrow, Mad Hatter, Penguin, and Two-Face.

♡ My preference is smut, angst, and other dark-themed fics, but I don't mind fluff, either.

♡ My main focus is my long-fic, Cat & Mouse, a Riddler x Reader story about a reformed Riddler coming to work for the GCPD three years after Arkham Knight.

♡ Anything to do with minors

♡ The Reader being of another species (vampire, werewolf, alien, etc...unless I have a very specific idea).

♡ Anything to do with scat, vomit, or piss. Just not my thing!

♡ Bestiality

♡ Major character death

♡ Sexual assault/rape. I don't mind writing something where a character comes to the other's rescue, but I won't write about an actual rape/assault taking place.

♡ Anything in general that makes me uncomfortable is. Sometimes I don't realize what that is until I get a certain ask!

♡ At the moment, I'm primarily taking requests for anything to do with my long-fic, Cat & Mouse (involving my Cat&Mouse!Verse).

♡ Requests for anything else will be considered, but please keep in mind that they are not my top priority at the moment.

♡ Because Cat & Mouse and my original fiction are my focus, requests do come in last on my priority list. Sometimes this means it can take me weeks, if not months, to respond to an ask. I apologize if you have to wait so long, but just keep this in mind, as I do also have a life outside of writing and Tumblr.

♡ When requesting from a specific prompt, please be specific in as to which one so I can make sure I'm doing the right one!

♡ I write for the Riddler, Scarecrow, Mad Hatter, Penguin, Two-Face, and occasionally Harley Quinn, if a request interests me.

♡ Anyone outside of this list I do not write for. Mainly because I either don't know enough about the character or just don't feel comfortable in my ability to write them (such as Bane, for example).

♡ Please be specific in the type of request you'd like to see. It really helps me write the best content I can!

♡ My preference is Female or GN centered fics, though I will write from the male perspective as well. I do not write f/f or m/m fics, since I'm straight, so it's just not something I have experience with.

♡ If your request is similar to something I've written before, I may redirect you to that fic instead.

♡ I reserve the right to refuse any request that comes in that I'm not comfortable with answering. Please don't take it personally!

♡ I reserve the right to cross post any request over to my Ao3.

♡ Here's a masterlist for all of my fics.

General Masterlist Cat & Mouse Masterlist

♡ Cat & Mouse is my long-fic, and really, my passion project.

♡ You'll find I talk quite a lot about Cat & Mouse on my blog. I like to post snippets, chapter updates, and write non-canon stories, headcanons, and "what if" stories in my Cat&Mouse!Verse.

♡ For an extensive playlist of all the songs that inspire me while I write Cat & Mouse, you can check them out here!

♡ You can check out the cat&mouse!verse tag for all things Cat & Mouse related.

♡ To see all the incredible fan art I've received for Cat & Mouse, you can check it out here!

Comic Panel from Chapter 20

Reformed Scarecrow Art

Commission #1

Commission #2

Commission #3

Commission #4

Art Collection

Stim Board

♡ A masterlist of general prompts you can request from.

Put that Guy in a Situation

Build a Fic

The Look of Love

Best Friends to Lovers

Jealousy No. 1

Jealousy No. 2

Jealousy No. 3

Jealousy No. 4

Idiots Who are in Love

Random Various Prompts

"I Want You"

Date Gone Wrong

Hopelessly In Love

Longing for Someone

Injury

Nightmare

Angry Confessions

"I Want You" No. 2

♡ A masterlist of smut prompts for you to request from.

Smut Prompts No. 1

Smut Prompts No. 2

Smut Prompts No. 3

Smut Prompt No. 4

Smut Phrases

Dirty Text Prompts

Discreet Sexual Tension

Smut Prompts No. 1

Smut Prompts No. 2

Smut Prompts No. 3

Smut Prompt No. 4

Smut Phrases

Dirty Text Prompts

Discreet Sexual Tension

♡ I'm OPEN to Stim Board requests!

♡ When requesting a Stim Board, please go through my Ask Box.

♡ For Stim Boards, I do ask that you be specific in what you're looking for. Please include things such as color scheme, general vibe, character(s). If there are any particular images you'd like me to use, please include them in your ask.

♡ Check out an example of my stim boards here, here, and here!

*Profile photo by the wonderful @riddley-art

*Header by the amazing @finzphoenix

[kidspawn]

You delete stuff so fast! I got back from a meeting and clicked on my notif, and it was gone :( I don’t get to know what your mildly personal aside was :(

(You don’t have to tell me I’m just letting you know that people do care what you have to say btw)

Oh this is gtinejsd this is so nice? Ahhhh mostly it was just babbling revolving around school and academics and just nonsense I didn't think anyone would find especially interesting. But gosh this is very sweet ahhhhhh you're very kind? It was just a sappy/kind of comedic because I need to laugh recount of my going back to school. I was mostly going on about college history and how colleges fail to support students who are overworking themselves because on paper they're performing to an exemplary degree.

So mild lore dump: I am going back to college, and the reason I wound up taking time off was because of a... well, call it like it is, a breakdown from an overpacked schedule and overworking myself to the point of jeopardizing my mental and physical health. I was advised by several doctors to leave and focus on rehabilitation, and some personal life issues had me leave the state to kind of start over. I'm okay now! Found a major I actually like! Got my own apartment! Decent job! Recreationally writing for the first time in three years! Wooohoooo! Got diagnosed with ADHD/Autism/OCD, which paints a lot in a new perspective. I've been beating myself up over taking an extended break and kind of, "hey why the hell did you not just tough it out" because it's been long enough to forget how awful that year was. (Because my GPA was perfect, and as such most people didn't give a damn.)

I'm sitting here, reapplying to universities, and going over my college transcripts and as I'm looking at my Spring 2023, I notice, "Hey. This was my sophomore year. Why the fuck was I taking eight senior/fourth year courses? Actually, what advisor read my class schedule and decided that was okay?" I was working full time, tutoring and working at the library, taking Senior classes in subjects that had nothing to do with psych (Physiology, Statistics, Forensics, Neuroscience, Anime as Historical Storytelling, Juvenile Delinquency, a Philosophy course on reincarnation for some damn reason, literally anything that wasn't for a bachelor of arts psychology course.). And for all I loved these classes, I'm so curious why there was not a single teacher who considered... you know.... "Hello, twenty-year-old overachiever you look sick and exhausted have you considered dropping a course or two?". Probably because my GPA was good. Also I doubt I would have listened to anyone. But damn, now I'm recontextualizing my time off because yeah, not surprised I was so burnt out and exhausted that year I maybe (maybe) didn't want to jump right back into the academic clusterfuck without a sense of direction? And also maybe college faculty should administer better mental health services. Maybe, also, I should be a whole lot kinder to myself now that I'm considering what most college course loads are supposed to look like?

Also, my transcript is just really funny. For all I insisted on being a Psych major through until graduation I took like... one psych class a quarter and half of them were physiology. (A deeper self esteem issues, to be honest, that I won't dive into.) But it's fine and it's genuinely so funny I'm mostly amused at what it'll look like for my transfer application.

Sorry, that was rambly. Don't mind me. Perspective and therapy is a shockingly grounding thing.

[possibly-art]

Malignancy OC Info Post p. 1

or "hey who the fuck are these guys?"

gonna put this under a readmore cause it's going to be LONG

Jonathan Dubois

(full legal name is Jonathan Anthony Stephan Dubois-Low) He/Him. Cis Gay man. Around 24 or so. He doesn't know what age he counts as anymore, since he technically Doesn't Age now French-American.

6'2" but he's almost always hunched over himself so. Yeah. *clears throat* He's got NPD, C-PTSD, Major Depression, Disordered Eating because of the Major Depression, and OCD. Things only get worse for him, mental health-wise, after he dies

Was aiming to be a doctor, and managed to get a scholarship for a medical degree, but died before he could finish it (and honestly; he probably wasn't going to complete the course anyways. Or pass)

Hit by a drunk driver on a closed road behind his accommodation. Died pretty much instantly. Revived by chance via magic, repairing all of the life-threatening damage just enough for him to function again. He sort of stumbled around in the wilderness for a while until he was found. Brought into the group by Jason, Milo and Orion. Volunteers as a meat-shield since. It's not like he can die lol.

Found Pinion in a mask left behind by a curiosities salesman. Weapon of choice is just a Very large knife. Knife-styled greatsword type thing. Pinion's his weird little swordfighting mentor

Ended up with (comparatively minor) brain damage, chronic pain, breathing issues and fatigue after his first death (yk alongside. being dead. He did die)

Terrible resting bitch face. Also a very sore loser. Has very conflicted feelings towards Lake. Plays piano. Or, more he played piano. There is no piano where he is.

. . . . . . .

Jason Glacis

(full name is Jason Bonnie Glacis) He/They (maybe She later, who knows) Biromantic Greyace. Not that he knows the words for it Haven't decided his age, but probably like. Early-to-mid twenties. As is the case with many of my OCs.

5'10". Usually wears pretty thick-soled boots so he appears a little bit taller than that though. Cryomancer

Autistic. Lifelong insomniac, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and Atypical Depression. Again; not that he knows this at all.

The group's Head Nurse. Doesn't go out on patrols or anything often, aside from occasional foraging. He will if he's asked to, though. Very good at his job, but if he tries to split his focus between too much at once he gets really stressed (he had a bit of a crisis when Jonathan was first. I guess found.)

Takes stock of medical supplies, and helps Lake keep track of food. Usually had a small collection of snacks for emergencies stored with his supplies.

Was technically always part of the group; his family wandered a lot between the two worlds when they realised that's something they could do, so he's always been aware of it. But he only actually joined a group when he left his family.

Usually very avoidant with his problems. The only time he as any confidence about things like that is when it's medical, because that's kind of his domain.

Refuses to tell anyone about his mental health on principle. "I'm the nurse, they don't need to know that". The only thing anyone knows about is his insomnia because he tends to pace around the hallways at night.

. . . . . . .

Pinion

He/Him. About 900-odd years old. Height is a weird thing for him, considering. Doesn't use human identity labels (yet)

Weird little blood Demon. Initially made to help commanders and warlords with conquests, but eventually people forgot about him. Did not have any sort of conscious outside of his task until the mid-1300s when a plague-doctor summoned him to help him ~balance the humours~. It did not work. He killed the doctor, at the doctor's request, when he started dying of the plague himself.

Tied himself to his friend's mask and lived in it, occasionally being summoned by people who figured out how to. Would give himself a year to sleep every decade; he'd rest in his mask for the year, tucking the mask away in some secure place. He didn't store it well enough though, so when he slept he was picked up by some trinket salesman and promptly forgotten about, until Jonathan found him. He woke up, realised "hey what the fuck?", and made a deal with Jonathan.

Generally very positive (primarily because emotion isn't as big a thing for him). Really enjoys sleeping, as an action. Full of knowledge from various centuries. The only one who can actually confirm which herbs/foraged plants/mushrooms are safe with complete certainty (and if he's not sure, Jonathan tests them).

Very very scared of oblivion, since he's always been under the impression he will exist as long as life itself, considering what he is. Gets gradually more stressed the closer the End is.

. . . . . . .

Lake Erin-Low

(full name is Lake Isaac Erin-Low) He/Him. "Straight" (he isn't, he just can't be bothered to think about it) 21, turning 22. 6'0". Got the same tall genes Jonathan did. American :pensive:. I don't know where exactly he's like. From. Based. fuck off i have a hard enough time choosing Places For My OCs To Be From as is.

Generalised Anxiety. C-PTSD and OCD, caused by Disaster

Jonathan's weird half-brother, from his dad's side. Neither was aware of the other's existence until like, a couple weeks after Lake shows up. Found by a patrol while he was sort of. Just. Wandering around in the forest in a weird sort of stress-induced fugue.

Was in a course for photography but had a sort of breakdown midway through and dropped out. Was kept in an inpatient treatment thingie for a while because of how upset and stressed he was (his family was concerned for his wellbeing, mainly). Was unofficially diagnosed with some vague psychosis-causing disorder (havent decided what yet, and it's. not particularly important honestly) and was eventually released when he Got More Normal. (this was like. about a year, maybe more? before the "story" actually Starts)

This! Was caused by Disaster finding him and warding him without his knowledge (before it found Ganymede), and cursed him pretty much. Premonitions of death and entropy, dreams and visions of the universes colliding. All that good shit. Saw the impending deaths of everyone he knew and that kind of Fucked His Shit Up a bit. So. Yeah.

Got really fucking sick of everything eventually and just. Packed up as much stuff as he could and left. Didn't say anything to anyone. Officially considered a missing person.

Cooks most of the food for the group, and gathers supplies and resources, seeing as he is still like. Almost a completely normal guy. Does have to conceal his identity a bit though, seeing as. Missing person. He's a while away from where he lived, but yk. Precautions.

Also "works" as a sort of dowsing rod. Has uncannily good instinctual feelings, as a byproduct of being warded by Disaster. A lot of his hunch feelings have been almost exactly right.

Also also; a shockingly competent alchemist; especially considering the fact he just started learning it, and has no inherent magic and/or magical knowledge.

Weirdly good at rollerskating. Very jumpy. HATES. Having jokes played on him. Hair is always just kind of a mess. He's tried to fix it but gave up eventually Has a lot of band shirts

[kaznodzieja2112]

Accepting that I may have not dealt with OCD and that I was probably, in fact, psychotic, or in an adjacent state, is so fucked up, and a huge process.

I was self aware enough to know something is wrong, sure, but didn't connect the dots, ocd on the surface seemed like the thing, but when I dug deeper now that I'm more level headed it does Not sound like it.

Yeah sure! I had intrusive thoughts- that were powered by thinking that gods were reading my mind. Sure, I had intrusive thoughts about scary things happening- because I was paranoid. Sure I had trouble with germs and illnesses- because I literally believed in miasma. Sure I had trouble eating and thought my food was contaminated- because I thought my mom was trying to kill me.

I didn't consider all the things that didn't align with OCD, I just thought "pff yeah me being terrified to sleep at night and look at windows bc there's a monster there that's gonna kill me is CLEARLY just an intrusive thought lol" "well I bet everyone thinks they can control weather and the World with their mind" no. It was not. I was delusional, just slightly self aware. I constantly thought I was gonna Die Soon, either because of a major diseaster, a heart attack, being poisoned by a family member, or Just Cause. I had hallucinations, though fleeting and again, self aware.

Thought my reduced affect, issues around people, paranoia and Very Big interest in religion was actually autism, yknow, special interests, issues socializing and stuff- it wasn't.

And at the same time I was completely convinced that I had magic powers, that gods and angels were trying to communicate with me through posts, numbers, things outside, things other people said- but that didn't bring me distress so I didn't care. Oh the issues with hygiene? The withdrawal? Constant feeling of dread and doom? Well I just have depression!

That period was so. So tiring. It lasted from 2019 to 2024. It slowly started fizzling out around 2023, but it was exhausting, I still struggle with many of the things I mentioned above, just not so much so that they're consuming my life, I'm pretty sure I'm in post-psychotic depression.

I'm lucky enough that it ended by itself, that it didn't get worse. But considering this was the Second episode of this? It will come back. And it will be worse the third time. I have to see a doctor soon, but I'm terrified, it's something I'm ashamed of speaking about, my friends only learned about these things this year and they knew me when it was happening- because I was hiding it. A part of me still thinks I'm overthinking it and that Clearly I just have anxiety- but this isn't anxiety.

Maybe I'm schizotypal, since I've not had a full break from reality- or maybe I'm constantly in the prodrome and I'll break in the future. But one thing is certain: I fucking need meds lmao

[copaceticjillybean]

TW: long and loud ooc vent/rant under the cut.

Ooc: OKAY, THAT IS IT!

I am not on a hiatus, I am on a BREAK. The difference? A break is a lot less scary or prolonged than a hiatus. It was gonna be a long hiatus, but I have changed my mind on that.

As for why I changed my mind? Well, I drank a big glass of Screwitol and have decided that I will NOT let something that’s supposed to be a hobby I do for FUN cause me emotional and mental distress-and neither should any of you, my lovely writing peeps!

If you need to hard block someone-DO IT! Don’t let yourself be terrified that it’ll hurt someone’s feelings. Life is too short, and unless that person is someone you genuinely value to the point of having a legit friendship with them (as in more than just writing together) then STOP LETTING YOUR INNER PEOPLE-PLEASER MAKE YOU MISERABLE! I’m sure gonna start blocking more easily and without fear going forward.

If you need to filter content-DO IT! Why come onto a site just to see stuff that sends you into a triggered mess? This is supposed to be FREAKIN’ FUN!

And if someone you know/follow is interacting with someone who makes you uncomfortable, you have only 3 choices-ignore it, mention it to them and leave it in their hands, or block them. (Note: the 2nd option should only be done if the person in question is committing ACTUAL HARM against ACTUAL PEOPLE. You not liking their content isn’t enough to try and make your writing peeps aware-they likely know that stuff already and are able to handle it according.)

And if you do option 2 and they want to continue interacting with them? Then you can either do options 1 or 3 next. And don’t let anyone make you feel like you can’t make EITHER CHOICE. We are adults who are trying to write with other adults-the middle school bull crap needs to stop. If you decide you don’t want to play with someone anymore, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO!

Tumblr has a very dangerous precedent of people either whining about ‘there’s no such thing as over-communication’ (which, as someone who suffers from confession-style OCD, yes there absolutely is!) or getting waaaaaay too attached to people in downright parasocial ways. I don’t think I really understood that until recently, but it’s unfortunately really true.

It…it’s just exhausting, seeing that kind of BS all the time. And it genuinely DID make me consider leaving, to try and hide on discord only, where common sense seems a bit more prevalent.

…but I won’t. For 2 main reasons.

I won’t because, for as actual unhinged as this hellsite is, there are people here who I’ve come to enjoy writing and interacting with so very, very much. People who are talented and kind, and who I’m so excited to see pop up on dash. They have listened to me when I was hurting, and helped make me a better writer and a better person.

And I won’t because I am spiteful. I WILL continue writing on here IN SPITE of the creeps who continue to circulate the site. I WILL continue writing on here IN SPITE of the way we’ve been conditioned to not speak Ooc in a way that’ll ’rock the boat’. And I WILL continue to write on here IN SPITE of how scary it can be. Because I will be the one who makes the choice to leave this site entirely-my anxiety and the fact predators and abusers exist will NOT run me off.

For any who read all that: thank you.

For my lovely mutuals, thank you for being so freakin’ awesome.

For my irl bestie: I love you to the moon and back, and you are literally one of the most important people in my life and the best writer I know.

And for those of you on here who helped talk me through the anxiety that put a major dent in my Christmas Eve and Christmas Day this year: Yoy majorly helped talk me down from an anxiety spiral that shook me hard. I am forever grateful for that.

And now, with all that said-I’m going on a little break. But I will be back. And until I am-stay safe, stay kind, and ttfn, ta ta for now!

-Mun TNTPig :@3

[liminalhumanoid]

(Quick intro/pinned post, will probably update later)

I don’t have a set nickname right now so just call me Z. I’ll be using this blog to talk about & engage with parts of my life that don’t ever feel “valid enough” to really talk about with my whole chest. More on that below the cut. Post with tags is also below the cut!

If you’re a fan of policing labels and identities you probably won’t like me much, just block me and move on. Terfs and other bigots are not welcome here either.

Regarding not feeling “valid enough,” with some of these, I feel like I almost or just barely fit the criteria. Anecdotes are often relatable and eye-opening, but it’s never “that bad” to feel like I’m allowed to align with those experiences out loud. Whether this invalidity is objective truth or my own immense self-doubt talking, I don’t know, thus this disclaimer. The things I am more sure of, these too carry a sort of “there/not-there” sort of liminal weight to them, but these are more comfortable considering, y’know, I’m more sure about them.

Hopefully that elaboration wasn’t too confusing. Anyway, here’s some those liminal aspects of myself:

My gender and sexuality. The things I’m most sure about. I’m like if genderfluid was evaporated into a gas and formed a gas giant, with a core made of denser, slower moving genders on the agender spectrum and an atmosphere of swiftly changing genders of all descriptions that mix and whirl together in currents and eddies. I’m also demi-abrosexual & quoiromantic.

My neurodivergence. I have no professional diagnoses but am medicated for anxiety and depression. Beyond that I’ve noticed traits seen in some people with autism, ADHD, major depressive disorder, OCD, general anxiety disorder, and PMDD (not strictly mental but wow). Oh also I definitely have trauma.

My plurality. I strongly believe part of this is due to trauma but because I’m not 100% sure about that or plurality in general I consider myself endogenic at least in part. I think I may be a median system of some sort, and covert on top of that. I’m familiar with some headmates now but there’s more I’m pretty sure.

My humanity. I’ve always felt not quite human, though what exactly that means varies. Shapeshifters, zombies, and godhood have all felt familiar to me in a way, among other less-prominent things.

That’s all I can think to add for now. I might make a few posts for blinkies/usertags/stamps/whatever I like and link them here (vs putting them here as is since lots of them have flashing lights) and whatever other posts are important enough to warrant being pinned.

If you have any questions or just wanna chat let me know! My only rules are don’t hit on me, don’t be rude, and don’t DM me if you’re a minor (replies & asks are okay).

Find my tags here ⭣⭣⭣

[aspd-culture]

Why do we develop Exceptions? Like, what is it about certain people that leads us to actually form an attachment to them, even though it feels chaotic and awful? And do prosocials also just feel like all their relationships are in some way unstable or is that a trait from the attachment issues?

Hmmmm, good questions here. This response is almost definitely gonna be a bit of thinking out loud.

So for the first part, why we develop Exceptions - on first glance I think the obvious answer would be that our society expects us to interact with people and sooner or later you will get into sticky situations if you have no one close to you because that is a major red flag to a lot of people - it can cause extra scrutiny pwASPD just don’t want the hassle of - I know that’s why I made my first friend. But that really isn’t quite it, because I could have (and had every intent to) appear to be their friend and be kind to them but keep them even further than arm’s length, just really interacting enough to sell the idea that I had friends so the school would get off my ass. However, that isn’t what happened, and I am still extremely close with this person today. I trust them like no one else besides my own alters.

So then, is it remnants of the biological instinct to pack bond for survival? Maybe. We certainly usually have at least some developed before the trauma that causes ASPD - social instincts literally start developing at (if not before) birth - so that could be it for many people, but there *are* pwASPD who literally had trauma from the first second, myself included. For us, then, what is it?

It could have something to do with the way ASPD develops. It is pain that causes ASPD - trauma to be specific - and many humans feel an innate need to share/voice that pain…. But that would still be social instincts.

Honestly? My hypothesis would be that while it is a mix of everything above, that the main reason is that at the end of the day, a pwASPD boils down to a child who underwent horrific circumstances (or who inherited the damage from a parent’s horrific circumstances in the case of genetically passed ASPD) and I think it is the nature of a scared, hurt child to cling to someone for help. I know that my Exceptions make me feel vulnerable and childlike, almost as if it is that infant instinct of “I am not able to protect myself - I have needs someone else has to fill *please help me*” that is causing my pull to be around them (even when I’m not particularly upset about anything).

Maybe I’m just sappy about my Exceptions and there’s some neurology to it, but until the prosocials get their act together and start doing unbiased research on ASPD, I’m gonna hang onto the idea that having Exceptions is me somehow helping the child I was who looked horrors in the face and lived to tell the tale. I’m proud of that kid, and I’m gonna take the win until proven otherwise.

Hehe *awkward cough* anyway moving past that.

Prosocials tend to believe, as far as I can tell, that their relationships are completely stable until/unless given a reason to believe otherwise. To constantly believe your relationship is unstable is labeled as one of four things - being “insecure”, having anxiety, having trust issues, or having relationship OCD. They consider all of these things as something “wrong” and therefore signs someone needs therapy. That said, although they *say* that, I’ve yet to meet any prosocials who feel entirely secure and comfortable in the stability of their relationships, so I’m pretty sure there’s some denial involved there. They also get pretty defensive about our view on the instability of relationships and, in my experience, will literally insult us and attack us if we say something that makes them question themselves on it, so tbh definitely some denial there, actually.

[moonygryffin]

I just read about the Lyme disease. I knew that tick bites were bad, but not that bad! I saw many ticks in my village, but I never got bitten luckily. I hope you recover from this disease. Take care of yourself!

Thanks for your words and sorry if you don’t want a long explanation of Lyme disease, but I really like talking about it/my experience with it to help spread awareness! So uh, stop here if you don’t wanna read all that lol

Lyme is actually one of the least bad tick-borne diseases, in my opinion! Which is why ticks are so scary to me. They’re very important to the ecosystem, I would never wish them to be eradicated, but I do hate them and don’t want them anywhere near me lol

There’s basically two versions of Lyme. If your doctor catches it early and you don’t have other major health issues, it can be cured relatively easily with a month or so of strong antibiotics. A lot of people barely have any symptoms at all when its caught this early, usually just muscle and/or joint pain, some fatigue, maybe a fever. My mom actually got bit and caught Lyme somewhat recently and, even tho her immune system is still not 100% from her chemotherapy a few years ago, she completely recovered with only some mild fatigue that went away during treatment. One thing of note is that Lyme’s famous “bull’s eye rash” is not nearly as common as people say it is. You can absolutely still have Lyme disease even if you never developed the distinctive rash. I didn’t, my mom didn’t, and my doctor (who has had Lyme multiple times) has only had it once.

The other ‘version’ of Lyme is way more painful, dangerous, and stubborn. Basically, if your Lyme isn’t caught fast enough, not only can you develop way more symptoms, but it becomes much harder to cure. When I was finally getting diagnosed, I was given this huge like 10 page packet of some of (not all) the symptoms of Lyme disease. It’s very similar to the early days of Covid when it could seemingly cause thousands of different health issues. The most common are still joint and muscle pain, major fatigue, and other flu-like symptoms, but it can also cause sudden hair loss, random numb patches around your spine, burning skin, etc. I had to go to a specific psychologist to get diagnosed with autism, adhd, and ocd because Lyme can mimic adhd lol. Hell, IT GAVE ME OCD! Very crazy stuff. I’ve also heard it can induce way more deadly stuff with certain organs but I won’t go into depth with that here in case anyone has triggers related to that sort of thing.

I’ve gone way further into this than I planned but I think it’s important to put out there because Lyme is really not a well known or understood by both the public OR doctors, in my experience at least. I caught Lyme when I was around 7-ish? I was sick so often throughout elementary and middle school that I’ve been to basically ever doctor in the area and almost every time they said I just had some virus and that was it. It was only during high school, about 8 years later, that I finally went to a doctor (my current one) that even knew enough about Lyme disease to test me. And the only reason he knew was because he’d had it himself! The Lyme was deeply in my central nervous system that it took years of very large, very bad tasting antibiotics to cure. And, as I learned 2(?) years ago now, it’s made a resurgence. And I consider myself lucky because I truly believe if I didn’t get diagnosed for it when I did, I’d be dead by now with how it was attacking my cns

So, yeah, I think it’s important for people to learn at least the basics of Lyme disease just in case because it’s a very annoying and sometimes deadly disease that, at least in my experience, not many doctors actually know anything about

Also fun fact: Ötzi the Iceman, one of the oldest mummies in the world, had Lyme disease!

[eyrieofsynapses]

Collecting some important points from the notes, because this guide has useful points, but as many people are pointing out, it's missed the mark in several places.

Manage your blog the way you want to. Whether it's a blog with a million posts or just one, it does not matter. Enjoy Tumblr in your own unique way. (Just, you know, don't be a dick to other people.)

Don't feel guilted into reblogging. Tumblr does primarily run on reblogs, so if you're up for it, please do! But some parts of Tumblr push a moral guilt culture saying you have to reblog or otherwise you're a Terrible Person. Ignore that bullshit. You don't have to reblog everything you like. Do what works for you.

Likes are great and spark joy! Lurkers are always welcome here.

Same thing about guilt culture for tag compliments. The reblog alone is worth a smile. Nice tags are an awesome bonus, but far from a requirement.

If you do want to leave a nice tag but you don't know what to say, "love this, OP" or "pretty colors!" is fine! No need to be elaborate.

"Reblogs with text must have value" is an artifact of Ye Olden Days and no longer applies. Please do reblog with text! @roach-works explains it on this reblog. Go for it and have fun! (Although if you're just saying "lol" or "oof" or something similar, it is considered good etiquette to leave it in the tags.)

If someone doesn't like your addition, they can just reblog from further up the chain. Don't worry about being annoying.

Don't put anything in the tags you don't want OP to see, because OP can and does see tags.

Do not repost. (Reposting = making your own post with a screenshot of someone else's post/someone else's art/writing.) It's stealing. You're taking credit for something that isn't yours.

Don't censor tags. Unlike TikTok, Tumblr doesn't censor or take down posts due to tags. Don't use "d*th" and "s*x" or whatever, just say "death" and "sex." Tags are there so they can be blocked by users, whether that be for a disliked ship or a major trigger.

Judgement isn't a thing. People will respect your style no matter what it is. Unless you're being an asshole (making mean comments, starting fights, stealing someone's stuff, etc.), anyone who judges is just being a jerk.

DO reblog art and writing! Artwork and writing do benefit strongly from reblogs, because the more reblogs there are, the more attention they get, the more support the creators get. So if you do want to have a blog with lots of stuff on it, please do reblog art and writing and meta-analysis and the like. Creators really appreciate it.

To avoid being mistaken for a bot: 1) have a non-default icon, 2) make/reblog at least a couple posts so your blog isn't completely empty, and 3) have a blog description, even it's just "hello! just a lurker" or something like that. Creative usernames are helpful, but the bots got smarter about that, so it's become less of a factor.

Please don't use guilt tactics to get people to reblog. (Ex. "if you don't reblog this post about animal abuse, you don't care about puppies!") It's rude, and also a trigger for a lot of disorders, such as anxiety and OCD. Also, guilt tactics typically have the reverse effect; people won't reblog out of spite.

When it comes to comments and compliments, I go by this rule: if you have something nice to say and you have the energy, say it. Tags, replies, reblogs, whatever you're comfortable with. If you don't have one or both of those things, don't worry about it; the reblog and/or like says enough.

Different people have different social batteries and interests. If you want to get chatty in the replies all the time, go for it! If you don't have the energy or the desire to add anything, don't worry about it! I have days on both ends of the spectrum. Chatty or lurker or anywhere in between--it doesn't matter. Have fun however you want.

Finally: Nobody on Tumblr agrees on how to use Tumblr. Like, take one look at the replies, do you see how many different opinions are in there? There's some general trends and a handful of "don't fucking do that" rules, but there's no "right way."

This is a hodgepodge of weirdo geeky nerds who are frequently social outliers to start with; expecting consistency is like trying to stop time. It ain't gonna happen. So just do your best and have fun, newbies. We're glad to have you here.

so i have a mildly popular “reblog and put in in the tags” post going around and its. very clear how many people don’t know how to interact with a tumblr post

so, first of all, tumblr’s culture has changed a lot in the past couple years. there’s a genuine community effort to not start any drama, and ironically a lot of the current hostility is an effort to keep things calm. there’s also a change in how people interact with posts, so if you haven’t been here in a while please skip down to the tags/replies/reblog with text section.

for newcomers: you should be reblogging posts about as liberally as you would like something on twitter. if you only like stuff, people will think you are rude/a bot. you’ve probably heard people talk about “cultivating your dash,” and thats because this platform is 100% centered around your dashboard. trending matters less, unfollowing and blocking in order to shape your dash into it’s best form is widely accepted, the majority of the content you’ll find and interact with will be because of your dash, and the only way to put things on your dash is to reblog them. tumblr users are deeply distrustful of algorithms and have largely turned off the “see posts your friends have liked” function (i recommend you also turn of the various algorithms in settings → general settings → dashboard preferences).

so, once you’ve reblogged a post, there’s three ways to add content to it. the tags, replies, and reblogging with text. all of them have different connotations

the tags: an inside voice. originally they were meant for organizing your blog (and they’re still used for this), but they’ve also morphed into a way to share thoughts that aren’t funny/insightful enough for non-followers to be interested in. when in doubt, put your comment in the tags

replies: basically talking to your friends in class. your followers have no way of finding your replies (they don’t pop up on the dash, nobody gets notified except for the original poster) so chances are, only the person who made the post is gonna see your comment. it’s for quick one-offs that you’re okay with other people overhearing, but really is only made for one person. they’re like a public dm

reblog with text: an outside voice. you’re getting up on a stage in town square and entertaining people. make sure it’s funny or insightful— bottom line, add something new to the conversation. you should use this the least

general rules of thumb: 

when in doubt, reblog. people will judge you if your blog is only personal posts and you only interact with other content by liking it.  

the only things people will judge you for reblogging are personal vent posts. leave a like to give a little virtual hug

if a post is asking about your personality/opinions (i.e: tell me what’s the last tv show you watched, that kind of thing) put it in the tags 

also if you see a nice edit, gifset, or art, reblog and say something nice in the tags! it’s that nice sweet spot of common enough that no one will notice but uncommon enough to make the artist’s day

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

a prayer to temperance

from the latin "temperantia"

temperance is a word that means self-control

I've prayed to this goddess so long

I don't remember a time after seven

where I wasn't holding something back

and that something was usually acidic

but I was a little girl

and in the wrong places

that just meant I got first pain

so I started to fucking like it after awhile

but I did try to avoid it if I could

today I spent time in that house

he bought it new and told me often

he liked to buy everything so that if things went south

there'd be nothing to fight over materially

and that man predicted his future rightly

when I jumped ship I took less than nothing with me

and he breathed toxic sulphur out the the ass

that happened to be his third eye

for years after I had to save my own life

because being in a relationship with him

really had me considering tempting fate

until it gave me the bite I wanted

I walked that porch in the sunlight

and remembered those days in the sun

with my laughing kids and popsicles

because being in those same walls

where I'd have to sit for hours of lecturing

from a man who never got his ocd diagnosed

a veteran of the military who projected

every bit of his training onto his gentle mate

who he told over and over never met the requirements

of a title he really hasn't to decided to bestow on anyone

but to be fair I'm on the opposite side of that

particular spectrum ad in some aspects

I can't really claim myself monarch of any mountain

but it doesn't bother me to go in the caves

and it takes a real man to follow you there

that one couldn't even manage negative emotions

guys like that are always scared of the dark

and he only locks the door at least three times

before he feels safe enough to rest

absolutely and totally normal dude

remember how to told me I wasn't a good enough

writer so I shouldn't go for that major

or even that writing certificate

and real artists as you said don't do what I do

you'd lock me out of the bedroom when they were sick

tell me I didn't know what I was doing

and also blame me for the child

you could never console without yelling

always the better parent, right?

hours of interrogation believing I carried

another man's child and never quite satisfied

because you knew it was fear that kept me there

threatening to take both of them away from me

before I even had time to count their heartbeats

begging me for months not to have your daughter

and then asking me why the relationship was over

we were over before we began

you just didn't want me to do the same thing

your mother had to do with your actual father

leave another abusive controlling man

terrified because she'd carrying a piece of him

and herself and has to choose which one to save

and no one ever thinks it should be the mother

and since leaving you I've gotten pretty attached to my life

so good luck if we ever get somewhere

where only one of us is walking away surviving

one thing about life that sucks is knowing

we all just follow the circles of our past

and our ancestors and choose which ones

we decide to leave or save

sometimes it takes a few cycles

someday our daughter is going to date

some insecure asshole with control issues

if she's lucky she won't get pregnant in three months

and will get to break up with you and not change her mind

but I hope you see yourself when it happens

just like you watched me go through

the same pattern I did with you

after a man pretended to be what you weren't

but like they say in so many of the songs

a man is good until he's not

and then you fucking start making plans

(same goes for women by the way)

my son has been trained by you beautifully

he micromanaged every fucking move we made in that house

it was the only time he came out of his room to interact

he likely forgot was freedom is like by now

your influence is very apparent

you've been great through this whole transition

I'm so grateful that you treat me with humanity

you even respect my perspective as long as it

aligns with your perceived intentions

you're the kind of guy that insults someone

by first framing it with your intention not to insult them

and then not listening when they let you know

any sort of faults in your infallible logic

is that why you hated me so much?

never been very good at shutting the fuck up

once you get me pushed past a certain point

and I fully intend to insult you at that point

and how worked out just how it will impact

believe it nor not I never fucking missed, bitch

I look you in the eyes more than three seconds

and your head starts moving like a fucking bird's

one of those small ones just looking for a predator

and sometimes you make me want to be one

but you're so soft under all that arrogance

that you never quite had to live up to

just expected it out of me

in perfect isolated delusion

I felt all the ghosts of myself pulling into me

the pressure sometimes was so overwhealming

I'd start crying and have to lay down

or go outside and remember the sky

the sky I live under now in a place where you can

finally see all the potential I could have had

if my light wasn't being consistently dimmed by you

or some other asshole who just used the tricks

I told him you used on me to keep your legacy

little did they know I was mapping out pressure points

to send some sort of death star plan to the cosmos

it all works out kind of cute doesn't it?

some day I will enjoy your expression

as you feel even a pinch of what

I had to endure with you

I came home and saged all the spirits I integrated

it wasn't their fault they were stuck in your prison

they didn't know any better and honestly

your cruelty was somehow familiar

and far better than anything they'd experienced

but that's just a sad reflection on you buddy

you never hit me but you did everything else

and I would have rather you punched me in the face

at least it would have been more honest

than anything you ever did with me as your

honestly unwilling partner

you always used to say I didn't want you

bro I didn't even like you

but I really thought you could take away my kids

the way you always said you were going to

if I left you and at some point I did get

strong enough to learn to outsmart you

was actually a lot easier when I learned that

I deserved to be treated like a fucking person

never had been taught that growing up

and you really hammered down that message

when I was physically at my most vulnerable

I hope you're proud of your past self dude

I wouldn't be able to handle all the shame

oh wait yeah I could because I did

thinking I was to blame for your treatment of me

but I did ignorantly let myself be treated like that

which is different than stupid because I learned

and you still say I deserved all your punishment

which shows that your ego development is

rather cultivated in a damaging way

luckily not my problem anymore

and I felt the feelings and processed it consciously

so visiting your house again shouldn't make me

feel so intensely all these complex emotions

but all traumatic experiences bring up complexity

in the psyche and now mine seems to be

mostly neutrality and the occasional bout of wrath

which is far better than all the other low vibrations

you ever really gave to me because there's a reason

you seem to find problems wherever you go

I find them too I just like to dance with them more

the spiral turns outwards again and I remove

yet another tainted layer with new understanding

someday I will see something from it

but until that day I'll let my inner kali rest

have her shrug back into the angel wings

and pour from two vessels back into the water

and keep one foot on the land

you were a taurus and I was a scorpio

opposite sides of a very complicated coin

and we made two beautiful children

and I'm glad you're the best kind of father

but I'll always spit on you

for how you treated me as someone

you couldn't even protect from yourself

and I can handle the duality

I have this long, haven't I?

but whew, I can only do it so long

today showed me I can do

fur hours before I want to destroy something

and I think that shows very impressive patience

and I don't really care if you agree

[split-regardless]

I feel really lucky right this moment.

22 years old, watching YouTube on my living room TV during a thunderstorm. I'm watching a random scientific video essay about the first human head transplant (? I mean, okay. kinda dark but interesting).

Normally it's murder mysteries. I don't know why. It might (probably) be my mother. law & order, NCIS, forensic files (and every like show). For me, I mostly watch That Chapter & some of the other major ones.

Side side note (for real moment) - i think I have been noticing symptoms of OCD :> (AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH). I consider myself a pacifist. Yeah, I played Undertale. But fr fr. I am now hyper aware of sounding homicidal because I absolutely do not ever ever want to ever hurt anyone. I also got hospitalized because my ex boyfriend hit me and then called my therapist - who then only heard me screaming at him to get out - put out an involuntary hold on me. Which then turned into 9 days and ended up in an immediate ER visit (for lithium poisoning!!). I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 (because mood disorder, duh 🤪) and then I was treated for it for the next year and a half with antipsychotics which left me with no sense of self or purpose. The reason for the hospitalization was "homicidal".

I have hurt myself physically to show myself I don't want to do that to others. This was almost a decade ago.

To think of it, I don't really enjoy the true crime format. It's just familiar. Maybe because it was playing in the background on the TV at 11pm on a random weeknight in the foothills of abq in a random day in the 2010's.

Maybe it's a warning. I never got to play outside. It was "too dangerous" outside. I never thought it was during the day. It always was at night. Maybe that's why I freak out everytime I'm next to nearly closed blinds. There is absolutely somebody right there behind this glass. 22 years old and afraid of the dark.

I have a real reason, though. After several nights of hearing noise outside my window, one time I actually looked. It was my biological father, trying to break in to the house - My view had a view of the side yard in the backyard. It was overgrown with weeds, cactus, red flying ants & a dead cherry tree. It was closed off from the main yard with vines that resembled grapes (but we were never allowed to eat them(?). - I wasn't dumb though, I waited until I heard the gate close. I peaked out when I thought I waited long enough. He was standing right next to the opening of the gate, looking at me.

I would fall asleep, alone, rehearsing the 7 escape plans I had. Step 1 was to always save my siblings. I remember pushing my ear against the door, holding my breath, so scared to make a single noise because I was trying to hear what my parents were shouting about, at 10:37pm.

My mother convinced me there was someone out to get me in every direction. She told me that you always have to have one eye on the back of your head. Always look over your shoulder, especially when you think you're being followed. If somebody is following you in the car after 3 turns, it's suspicious. I wasn't close to anybody at school, except halfway one girl who pitied me. It was hard not to think the world wasn't against me.

"girls are your enemy" my mom recited. I never thought that to be true. I never really understood or connected with that part of myself outside of Easter dresses. With 2 "girl" friends (not in the gay way) under my belt, I moved to Colorado. Imagine how confusing it was when I figured out the next "girl" friend I had, I could not stop thinking about kissing for ,,,, several several years. (It never happened, which is ,,, okay).

I lived life divided. Isolated. Fragmented. Afraid. (for a very very long time). Maybe all of those parts of me tuned in to true crime to try to study suspicious situations, so that way I wouldn't be caught.

Being (perceived) female in this selfish & deprived world is terrifying.

I've been working for a long time trying to retake this power. I'm proud to say that I have. Even though I'm laying on my couch at 2:30am writing this silly little thing with a (now) youtube video about how Disney female protagonists need to stop being "awkdorable", which is true. This era of Disney princesses are kind of disappointing. Imagine the power of a heroic femme fatale saying no. Someone who is afraid but does it always. Someone brave.

,,,,,,,,,,

I know that there are parts of me in the future (& definitely the past) that would give anything to be sitting here in this timeless mindless dumb half high moment in the place I'm proud to call home.

I've worked hard to get to right here. I'm going to enjoy it.