#just trying to make progress on zines and other projects

[scarlet-traveler]

How to get rid of imposter syndrome with my writing, asking for a friend

[bao3bei4]

why zines? how zines?

i was on a panel at fanworks con 2023 about zines today. it was a lot of fun! i decided to turn my portion of the talk into a post for my friends who couldn’t make it to the panel. 

this post includes my thoughts on: 

why make a zine

how to generate ideas for zines

how to finish your zines

how to build an audience for your zines

so why zines? what are they? [ZEENS, rhymes with beans], pronounced that way because it’s a shortened form of the word magazine, are basically just that: self published magazines. but why make a zine over, say, a blog post? or any other piece of art. 

i have basically three reasons. the first is that making little books is cool. it’s genuinely awesome to make physical zines and have the product of your labor in your hand. it’s a great feeling to finish a project and feel a concrete reward, and a lot of times we don’t get that in our lives.

the second reason is that zines give you absolute editorial control. you can put anything you want on a page. whatever layout, whatever order, whatever fold, whatever content. you name it, you can do it. this is something other venues rarely give you. for artists, it’s phenomenal. and for the rest of us, it gives us the ability to become artists for a little bit, as we lay things out.

the third reason is that zines can be absolute shit. in fact, the more shit they are, the more diy and punk they are. they have an incredible lineage of stolen copy paper and anarchist politics. all that to say, is that there are no standards. the zine ethos is say what you wanna say. it’s tremendously freeing to go fuck polish and respectability, i’m making my project.

because of these three reasons, i want to encourage you to get started making zines by describing common challenges and worries and giving you several practical tips for each on working past them. so, in order, they’re “i don’t know what to make a zine about,” “i struggle to finish projects,” and “no one will read my zines.” let’s get into it.

first up, “i don’t know what to make a zine about.” i think this one is pretty common, even for experienced zine creators. sometimes you’re in the mood to make things but you have no clue what. a lot of people suggest to just go with random words or whatever pops into your head, but i’m picky! i find that unsatisfying! so here are some tips for people in the same boat. 

ONE: what’s distracting you? work with it. because anything can be a zine, let the things you’ve already done serve as inspiration. photos you’ve taken can be formatted into a zine. is there a game sucking up your attention? make a zine about it. the song stuck in your head can turn into a lyricbook, forgotten works in progress or sketches can be resurrected, cannibalized, or even published as incomplete zines. if you’ve been busy with real life, maybe the recipes you’ve been making—even if, especially if, they’re struggle meals, can turn into zines. interview your most interesting friend. summarize a book you read recently. even if you’ve just been doomscrolling, that’s a zine too! i got a zine last weekend called bay area newsreel which was collecting recent articles about local news from leftist perspectives gathered up into a handy volume. your attention is a gift, so look at what zine fodder it’s accumulated for you naturally. 

SECOND: add a twist. sometimes i have an idea but it isn’t quite right. it just seems too straightforward. so i try to develop along a single axis of content or form. what this means is basically go against your instincts, or rather, your first impulse. that first idea is very hard to walk away from, but doing so often gives you an idea that gets you unstuck. so for content, add a different perspective. for me this is often a theoretical approach. when i was stuck on my scum villain zine, turning it into freud zine let the words start flowing. next, on form: present it differently than your first instinct is to. if my first thought is “essay,” i try to figure out how to chunk out the information into modules or how to add interactivity or what kind of illustrations to add. if my first thought is “this could be a fic or comic,” i try turning it into an essay. saying things a different way often gives you a new perspective on the content as well. 

THIRD: copy! make your take on the same thing as someone else. it’s not stealing—well, ideally it isn’t. make your original take and give credit where credit is due and ask permission if necessary. but engage with the medium!!! making zines without reading zines is the same thing as trying to write a paper without citing sources, or a novel without reading your contemporaries. that is, you can do it, but it’s hard. zines are a genre into themselves so figure out how to situate yourself in their ongoing dialogue. an example of this from my own practice is that i own a zine about queer gods and mythological creatures from chinese history. reading it i was like. why don’t they talk about this. why don’t they talk about that. and that became the basis for my own zine, guaitai the strange and the queer which focused on queer chinese history and literature instead. different zine, same inspiration. 

all of my ideas suppose you have SOMETHING going on. what if you truly have nothing. my advice? adapted from my “how to write an essay” blog post, is to read a book. read an article. read something. and then post about it. and then turn your posts into a zine. don’t start entirely from scratch — give yourself a scaffolding. so first. read something and tell someone about it. i wasn’t lying about calling myself a consummate poster. it’s a big part of my thought process. 

second up, what if “i struggle to finish projects.” i’m no stranger to having a bunch of half finished half started projects lying around. but here are some zine-specific tips i have for addressing that.

FIRST! go smaller; go shittier. reduce the scope of your projects. make one pagers, lists. once when i was feeling stymied, i made a physical zine about movies i’d watched that month, just listing them with a couple bullet points on each film. i eventually turned it into a bigger digital zine where i listed movies i’d watched over the past several months with more thoughts on them, and nicely formatted. but that was something that came out of reducing my scope from “i need to write a manifesto on a movie i’ve watched recently” to “well i can just tell people about it” to “i can say two things about it.” and something actually got finished.

SECOND. your friends are a great tool for accountability. something i like to do is zine jams with my friends. nothing fancy, it’s just we’ll sit down for an hour and go we’re going to make something in this hour. or, for a bigger scope, we might work separately but commit to making a zine that weekend. it’s nice to have community and it’s nice to feel a little bit of a friendly deadline. i recommend this even if you DON’T have problems finishing zines. it’s a good time. 

THIRD. a lot of times if the words aren’t coming easily, it’s because i’m not trying to say the right thing. keep in mind that your zines don’t have to be “content.” this little paper zine i made about movies wasn’t made to share online; in fact, it’s not available online. i didn’t make it according to what other people would see or be interested in. you can and will burn out on making “marketable” content. corollary to this: sometimes what i have to say is something i DON’T want to share online. it might not be that it’s boring, it might be that it’s too personal. and i share a lot online, i write personal essays after all. but some projects i stall on because they’re really just for me, and i’m again, focused on making content. so this piece of advice is about rejecting the tyranny of the imaginary audience. 

and the next challenge is about embracing that audience! what if no one reads your zines, something that’s entirely possible. well there’s plenty you can do about that.

FIRST. cultivate zine community. read other people’s zines! talk to them about their zines! this greatly increases the chance that they will do the same for you. don’t go in expecting reciprocity; do it for its own sake, but it’s a great place to start. try asking people at zine fests if they’d be willing to trade with you, for instance. 

SECOND. write for yourself. it’s cheesy but it’s true. you really have to. if you’re not proud and happy with what you’re making on its own merits, what’s the point. now because this is a cop out tip, i’m not counting it as a tip on its own. 

so SECOND PART TWO. make your zines more accessible. if they’re not free, make them free—yes, you deserve to be compensated for your work, but it’s up to you to decide if you want a bigger audience first. if your zines aren’t short, make them shorter. make them short enough that you can post their entirety on social media or something else easy for your audience to consume. it’s a big ask sometimes to get someone to download your pdf! if they’re physical, hand them out to people you meet. remove all the barriers to entry.

THIRD. related to this, change medium. if you’re not making physical zines, try printing them out. if you’re not making digital zines, try digitizing them. both of these offer access to new audiences and new people who might be more interested in one form than another. 

i hope these thoughts encourage you to make a zine! if you do, please let me see it. i love reading zines. 

[nuwho20zine]

Time for a...

Mod Team Update

Hi everyone! I'm currently looking to see if I can finalize the Mod Team this month, so that in July we can properly start this thing and we have everyone in the right places, but I need your help.

We currently have enough Writer Mods to help writers with their pieces (thank you to everyone who was happy to take on this role!!) but we're still missing on other roles. In particular:

💫 Artist Mod: we have one person on the team as an Artist Mod, but I'd like to have at least one other person. This Mod would be responsible for mostly helping artists out with their pieces and keeping an eye on their progress. These skills are out of my skillset, so I need other people to fill in!

💫 Layout/Graphic Design (LGM) Mod: this is the position that I absolutely need to someone to fill. I don't have any sort of knowledge or skills in this department and someone has to be able to put this thing together!! If you want to take everyone's pieces and make them into a cool, pretty, awesome zine, this position is for you!Honestly, not getting someone to do this has been what I have been most scared of since starting this thing, so let's hope one of you wants to do this part!!

💫 General Mod: this position is pretty much for my right hand person, someone to help me out with the more admin side of things. Technically, I believe I can do without them - but I also believe it'd be easier and more enjoyable to have someone helping me out. If you think you'd like this, then reach out! (Update on 7/jun: position filled!! We're doing it guys!!)

One thing of note: I really don't want to have anyone alone in any position (in this zine, responsibility is shared!!) so I'm looking for 1-2 Artist Mods and 2 LGM Mods.

There is no form to fill out for this! If any of these positions interests you, then comment on this post or send me an off-anon ask and we'll talk. I am of course available to provide more information on expected tasks, work timeline, etc - I'm just trying not to make this post too crowded.

If you aren't able to help/don't want to, but still would like to see this project completed, then please please share or reblog or tag someone you think would be a good fit. Anything helps!!

Thank you guys so much! I really appreciate you all and your support.

Update (13/06): Mod Team closed!!

Can't wait to announce it to you all. I'm so happy we did this!!!! Thank you for all your support, I'm really excited about this project and it's so good to feel like I have the people to bring it to fruition 💛✨

[r-rook-studio]

Writing and Rewriting Bracknell Horror

So here's a terrible secret: in 2019, hot on the heels of the original Moonlight on Roseville Beach zine, I put some notes for a little adventure called "The Bracknell Horror." I had no illusions that it was a great investigation scenario. Still, it showed off a few things about Roseville Beach, including places and people in the town as well as the queer people who lived/visited there. It went to a location inside the setting without requiring deep lore, added some jokey Easter Egg references to Lovecraft's The Whisperer in Darkness, and included some comically easy to use alien tech.

The problem was, I didn't really like it.

People at con sessions had fun, but there was nothing particularly special or interesting about the scenario itself, and any scenario would have been great in its place. Also, while I like to say Roseville Beach is a game of "horror comedy," there wasn't much actual horror here other than some Lovecraft references. That's also true of my other Roseville Beach scenario "The Haunting of Flora Bly," though the book has four more scenarios that are richer in horror potential.

But this summer, just before running it at A Weekend with Good Friends, I rewrote it. I talked about some of those rewrites on my blog just after the first run-through, but more have come up as I've continued to playtest this.

First, while the initial scenario centered around a wealthy occultist-adventurer named Simon Mathers, the revision has greatly warped him from that initial vision. In the early drafts, he was an occultist willing to give Dreamlands entities the bodies of Roseville Beach residents in return for access to the Dreamlands. In the new one, he's returning to our reality after 20+ years in the Dreamlands, hoping to find a body for himself (the temporary one he constructed is collapsing) and his two Dreamlands familiars.

In the original, the cult-like group of followers worked for Mathers and planned to keep doing so. In the new, none of them like each other, and each of them have their own reasons for working with him (and one might even try to kill him).

Third, I let some of my OSR influences show. Beyond making each of the named NPCs a faction of one, I've also added some NPC rivals (all of whom might end up becoming collaborators) who also all have their own motivations and agendas for finding out what Mathers' cult is up to.

Finally, while the original notes told GMs to pull from the PCs troubles and connections to determine who Mathers' cultists have captured, the new one includes a chance to target the PCs themselves, giving at least some of them a chance to sneak in and explore the Bracknell while the cult is setting up the ritual, adds some specific NPCs the cult targets, asking instead how the PCs and their contacts/troubles connect them with those people, giving their troubles and connections a motivation to insist on coming along whether they'll be helpful or not.

Dai Shugars, Roseville Beach's art director and visual designer, has put together some incredible maps that allowed me to spend less wordcount describing the space and more giving info on NPCs, creating news stories and book snippets that can serve as physical clues, and creating a better sense of how the Doom Clock progresses.

The text will come to Itch for slowfunding next Tuesday, and the final zine will include the adventure, pregens, new strange events that tie to this mystery, and the basic rules of play, so you can try it out even if you don't already own Moonlight on Roseville Beach. Think of it like a horror-comedy investigation version of a Fighting Fantasy Game Book, but maybe gayer.

This is my chance to draft and preview some of what's coming. You can pick up Moonlight on Roseville Beach (Itch | DriveThru | Spear Witch | IPR) and the current two-issue zine bundle (Itch | DriveThru), or just follow-along with the zine project that will get bundled up in Dim All the Lights. Or you can back our upcoming reprint and hardbacks Kickstarter!

[thornilee013]

WIP Wednesday 10.4.2024

Hello and welcome to another week of Work-in-Progress (WIP) Wednesday, a lovely challenge started by @/kedreeva .

As always, feel free to send in multiple requests, even if it's for the same draft! But keep in mind that that's just how I operate, and that this is not part of the official WW rules/etiquette! (aka please don't assume everyone is as desperate as me)

***PLEASE SEND THINGS IN. THIS IS LITERALLY THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY WEEK. YOU WILL NEVER ANNOY ME AND IN FACT I DARE YOU TO TRY TO ANNOY ME***

Official rules for those who are new:

In a reblog of this post (so people can find you in the notes) or new thread (w/ rules attached) if you want to play on your own, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names. Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play! After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share. That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. I’ll be searching the reblogs to find people to send asks to! If you’re reading this, you’re invited! If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.

Prompts that I'm offering this week:

1. Silly Little Jean Moreau Fic 2. TLC 3. 101 Ways not to Say I Do 4. Needle AU (CW: posts may contain mentions of self harm, wound infections, and stalking) 5. Pride Zine (AKA, I write three new sentences on my zine pieces, then pick a random project to add three sentences to for a post! Might bring the dice back again this week, or if you're a regular I'll pick one of the ones I know you like c;)

Progress from this last week below the cut: A combined and collected selection of posts from 101!

"We should probably let people know, right?" Neil said as he fell back onto the couch after pulling his sweatpants back on. Andrew was already lounging on the couch, running his fingertips along the inside of his palm in a desperate attempt to replicate the sensation of holding a cigarette. Maybe a few years ago Neil would have allowed him a cheat day, but they had gotten rid of every last pack in the condo*.

Andrew shrugged in response, his pupils still blown wide and his lips still reddened. "Probably."

"Come on. You don't want Aaron to hear about this from Nicky. I can call him if you want, and you can call Renee."

"No," Andrew said, leaning back to fish his phone out of his pocket. "I'll call Aaron. And Renee. I don't think you'd want me to be the one to call Matt."

Neil wasn't about to disagree. He sighed and pulled out his own phone to dial Matt's number.

-

Nicky didn't reemerge from the guest bedroom until the next morning, or at least, that was the next time that Andrew and Neil spotted him.

Thankfully, their morning the next day had been more or less typical; Neil had gone on his morning run and Andrew had gone back to sleep after Neil's alarm had gone off. By the time Nicky finally came out of the guest room, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, Neil and Andrew were already on their second cup of coffee.

"Aaron called me at nine last night," he said while trying (and failing) to stifle a yawn. "Couldn't you two have waited to tell the others until I was awake? Damn, I need coffee. Please tell me you have some left."

Neil sipped at his own coffee while Andrew nodded his head in the direction of the pitcher they'd brewed that morning. "Knock yourself out."

"I'm glad to hear that you were at least slightly inconvenienced by your own actions," Neil added.

"Ha ha," Nicky said while making his way to the coffee machine. "I'm so glad to see that that classic Josten charm hasn't faded over the years."

Andrew shot Nicky a look that prompted him to lift up his hands in a mock surrender.

"Come on, I can't keep my sarcasm concealed before I've had a cup of coffee, you know this, Andrew."

"Then start drinking," Andrew responded.

[darlingpoppet]

any updates on wtdf? i hope u have a wonderful day 💕

Hi anon! Thanks so much for checking in! And thanks for doing it on tumblr, this is a good opportunity to push me out of lurk mode and refill my queue while offering some much needed updates!

Anyways, the short answer is: WTDF chapter 8 is coming along, albeit more slowly than I intended, and it might still be another month or two before it’s finally done.

The longer explanation is this: Chapter 8 is another doozy like chapter 4 was… if you read the notes for chapter 4, or read my other WTDF-related posts here on tumblr, then perhaps you’re familiar with the fact that completing that chapter was also a protracted process that juggled a different fic project with a fixed deadline, a bout of writer’s block, and inspiration wandering to some different one-shots before ultimately getting me back on-track. I’m a bit sorry to say that I seem to be unintentionally experiencing an exact repeat of last year 🥲💦

In April, when I was still on-track to finish the chapter within my self-imposed deadline, a friend asked me to pinch-hit for their zine, and I was happy to put all my own projects on the back burner for a couple of weeks while I helped out a friend in-need. Once that project was finished at the end of April I immediately got back to work on WTDF, but less than two weeks in (right around the time Hades II Early Access dropped, so I was already a little bit distracted lol) I got saddled with a leadership position preparing for an event at my kid’s kindergarten, which took up 100% of my free time as well as the complete use of my hands (because A LOT of crafting was also involved lol.) So for the rest of May, zero writing got done (though I listened to a lot of podcasts and youtube video essays during that time, I’m thinking of making a rec list sometime of the stuff I enjoyed just for fun!)

And now here we are toward the end of June and the chapter still isn’t done. Even now I keep huffing the copium by telling myself I can finish it by the end of the month, but I’m gonna be honest: all of the interruptions & delays have left me struggling to get back in the right headspace for this story & at this point I admit that I seem to have fallen into another writer’s block 🥲 The last couple of weeks have been me making incremental progress while also trying to refill my cups.

I really hoped I could finish it this month because I’m already planning on doing camp nanowrimo in July to FINALLY finish the draft for the dreamers AU that has also been in the works for over a year now. And tbh that’s the story that I’m now daydreaming about as I start to get myself back into the writing zone. So I think I just gotta Trust The Process on this one and strike the iron where it’s hot for now, because at least I can point to my experience last year and give credit to my fics Closest & Flourishing for giving me the needed momentum to finally get WTDF Ch 4 over the finish line (followed by a streak of productivity that lasted me pretty much up until this point!)

So while I’m sorry that this means WTDF Ch 8 is gonna continue to be delayed a bit longer, I also think it’ll be worth it in the end when I have both these projects finished and I’m feeling good about the direction the inspiration is taking them. FWIW a lot of the ideas & themes I’m thinking about for the dreamers AU—such as prolonged periods of transition, coming of age, and the liminal qualities of queerness & gender identity—they are helping ideas coalesce in my approach to WTDF Ch 8, which, as I may have mentioned before, is a treatment of the Skyros arc. It’s actually fitting that I’m working on these projects both at the same time because I think they’re actively making one another better, which means I’m getting even more excited to complete & share them! The dreamers AU seems likely to be split into two parts at this point, so it makes sense to me to sandwich the WTDF update in between those. I can never really make concrete promises about my publishing schedule anymore, but for now at least, that’s the plan.

Anyways sorry for the longwinded & possibly boring explanation/list of excuses. But I appreciate your ask, it means a lot to know that people care 🥹🙏 Thank you everyone for their patience so far!!! I know I’m slow haha but everyone has been nothing but kind & understanding about it <3

You have a wonderful day as well ❤️

[pine-niidles]

April Project Updates

Hiya! I hope you've had a good April. Me, not so much. The month started still heavy with artblock and outside of art I've also not been feeling great. At the very least I've kept up with regular life drawing but I decided pretty early on to focus on making progress on things I needed to get done unrelated to art. It's possible I did just need that time to rest as in the last couple of weeks the artblock has been going away! I've been able to slowly make progress on my art pieces without hating every step :) In other positive news the tree outside my kitchen window has fully regrown its leaves & there are lots of beautiful flowers growing on my regular walking path to the pool. 

2023 Sketchbook

The finish your project jam helped give me that last boost I needed to finish putting together my 2023 sketchbook pdf, which is a mix of my physical sketchbooks & misc digital art from last year. You can get a copy on itch.io.

2024 Hourly Comics Day

Same as above, I did the last couple of steps I needed to finish my hourly comics day pdf, also up on itch.io. 

There's very little new there, I just wanted to have all the hourly strips together in one easy to read place + share the printable booklet version that I made for myself in case anyone else was interested in printing themselves a copy.

Impractical but Cool Fantasy Swords

I've been chipping away at this zine in my off time for a while, now I just have these last 6 swords to finish shading and then finalizing the layout for the whole zine.

​Hopefully marking this as done will help push the last bit of artblock out of my system and I can get back to drawing new things rather than just finishing old art!

Life Drawing

I don't normally share day to day life drawing in these updates but since it's pretty much all the art I've got to show this month here are a few of my fav sketches from April:

Plans for May:

​Zines

I currently have 4 small-medium zine ideas bouncing around my head, I'd like to finish two of them this month but I'm undecided which two.

Don't Wake the Sleeping Dragon

There's a lot to rework with DWSD mechanics based on feedback from the first playtest, the biggest change will be that I'm no longer trying to keep it to two pages max. That was an ambitious goal for my first ever ttrpg, and letting go of it will give me a lot more freedom to explain the rules a little better and add mechanics to facilitate rp. I'm aiming to get a second playtest draft out this month & to start on some art for it.

[hexfloog]

2021 - 2022 - 2023

Here's my art summary for 2022! In 2021 I had hoped that the inspo kick would last well into the new year, and... here we are. I produced WAY more this year than I initially thought and actually ran into the strange dilemma of having too much to choose from for this template :0

What a year for art.

I think because of the slow speed at which I produce-- and the relative stylistic consistency of what I do make-- I tend to fall into this trap of thinking I'm not actually going anywhere with my work, but looking back at my portfolio... this really isn't the case.

To put it bluntly, I see improvement from last year to now in the form of risks.

I hit a lot of milestones and firsts since January: I drew another comic, dabbled in several projects in grayscale, drew plenty of complicated backgrounds (or "whole pieces," I suppose), put together at least one .gif sequence, made mockups for merch, made real merch, zine entries... And even beyond 2D work, I wired up my first custom model kit, experimented with new materials, archived an entire TCG set, put together another cosplay, and (maybe most significantly) started writing fic again!!

I'm genuinely surprised by my output. While this year was creatively fruitful, it was maybe one of the worst on my health-- and by extension, my funds-- all around (an ER visit, COVID, some Mystery Issue with my feet... still a mystery to this day, actually) so I am pretty stunned that I managed to tap as far as I did into my creativity overall, especially when compared to 2021, a year I also thought went surprisingly well for art. Deadlines and community events and contests all pushed me into making more than I would on my own terms, so challenging myself a little definitely paid off... who would've thought? >___<

(while shoving my 2022 body of work under the bed) On the flip side, it turns out that throwing my dignity to the wind and shamelessly indulging pushes me to create, too! How many Evil Conans can one person depict in a single year??

...On a more personal level, aside from challenging myself with external motivators I think I was only able to produce as much as I did on account of simply learning to love what I make the way I make it. The vast majority of what I drew this year falls into what I've been referring to (to myself) as "drafts." But they're not drafts as most people would think of them - they're just not fully-polished works. March/November are good examples - contrast against June/August, which are definitely "polished."

It's probably not that big of a deal to other people how I refer to my work in my own company, but this year I seem to have realized that thinking of it in this way-- dismissing the time and effort spent on any one piece as merely "unfinished"-- is actually quite harmful. I have a habit of being harsh on myself and to call these works "drafts" undermines the amount of effort I put into them, and for what? Because they're not "clean" enough for (my own, self-imposed) impossible standards? That alone implies that there's only one way a work can be for it to be good enough, when the truth is that no-one would be none the wiser if I called them "finished" instead.

That's not really to say that I would stop trying to achieve this high-effort "finished" standard since I can get the same amount of mileage for lesser effort or whatever. I don't operate that way, there's a lot of pride and self-esteem tied to my art and I subscribe pretty unconditionally to delivering something that I'm proud of. I guess the key here is that "high" standards should not be "impossible" standards.

Starting from March (probably right around the time of the first DCMK FF Server Exchange), as year the progressed I slowly started warming up to this idea that I don't have to make something perfect to "get credit" for creating it. Perfectionism is an itch I'm still learning not to scratch every time it calls for my attention. And, relating to the exchange, there's something about a gift well-received that puts my guard down, and maybe it's because I'm always bracing for the worst (some imagined rejection of effort, perhaps) that I don't really expect people to so plainly like things I don't consider "good enough" for myself.

I guess what I'm saying is it's probably not an epiphany I would have just had for myself one day. I really don't think I would have realized the inherent hurt in my system if people didn't indirectly point it out to me time and time again, whether that gushing over artwork to my face or in tags or whatever, so... for that I am very grateful T___T

On that note, it has been a rough year for me so I want to express my deep appreciation for everyone who has supported me, whether you're just an art appreciator or an internet buddy, whether you came for ponies or animal mecha or ducks or detectives, whether you've donated at any point or bought something from the shop, commissioned me, etc ;___; I appreciate you all very much and truthfully I would not be creating so much if I didn't think I had an audience who could enjoy it with me. Thanks from the bottom of my heart <3

Wishing everyone a creatively fruitful and healthy 2023!!

if you've gotten this far tysm for reading i'm very stingy about good feelings and being this saccharine about anything takes effort, capital E

[youngharridan]

Let me preface this by saying I adore Annie Autumn. Its one of those great one-sided/parasocial kind of relationships of my online life. I’ve been following her for awhile now after seeing her tagged in another friend of a friend’s posts. I bought a baby blanket from her for a friend of mine when she was doing a fundraiser, and I have one of her hook rugs on my wall as well. It’s devastating watching her go through cancer treatment and now settling into end of life care - but I also really value what she is willing to share with everyone. Radical queer community grieving at its finest. That is all to say – this is a funny kind of review. Not that I ever strive for objectivity or anything like that. But this little zine really hit a spot in me and its really interesting to give a bit of a longer reflection.

I bought this on a total whim – Annie made merch for her living wake and asked Instagram if people would buy it. Which hell yeah of course we wanted it! Let everyone wear this beautiful stuff while giving you some money for your family. And she included this zine with the totes and shirts. I knew she had built her home with her family and community and jumped at the prospect of hearing more of the story. It’s a short zine – maybe less than 10 pages, colour printed on cardboard. It’s structured around two weather events that woke Annie up in the middle of the night and threatened her home. In-between these stories of fire and flood is a bit about the actual building of the house. The thing that initially struck me is that this is a climate crisis story, displaying the real cost of our collective failure to address climate change meaningfully and sharing the material effects of this crisis. This is a story that is both political and personal in all the best ways.

Annie talks about how building her own house was a dream of her’s from when she was a teenager. I feel like it is such a strong trope in the queer community that we all dream of running away from society to start a commune where we can live freely and build things together. I have personally harboured this dream, but during the covid-19 pandemic lockdowns I was confronted with just how interconnected we all are and thought that this kind of running away fantasy was really cruel. I don’t want to turn away from the world, I want to find a way to live in it while also being in community. This also led to me to looking at houses instead of property when it came to buying a house. I did kind of abandon the city in the end and run away a bit, but just up the hill to the mountains where we could afford to buy a house just outside of the insane Sydney property bubble.

There is something that I struggle with that comes in later in the zine that I want to dig into a bit, towards the end. Annie reflects on how the house is far from perfect but that:

“I love that she’s still a bit of a work in progress, that I’ve shown my kids that you can build a life using your hands, and that life can resist dominant paradigms that dictate that you ‘cant’t’ or ‘shouldn’t’ make things for yourself. That tells you not to try in case the things you make are ‘bad’. That its better to work in a soulless job so that you can pay others to use their hands to make things for you – your clothes, your home, your garden”.

This kind of sentiment is something that greatly irritates me while also being something that I agree with to a certain extent. I live in a house that someone else built – and we paid someone to renovate the kitchen in the first year we lived here, and I don’t regret either of these decisions. I also really want to learn how to paint the walls myself and take on other repairs eventually as well because learning skills rules. The garden is going to be a lifelong project for me. At the moment it’s a fussy cottage garden that the retirees that lived here before us obviously poured so much love and care into, but is full of plants I want to slowly replace with natives and productive fruits and vegetables. I don’t think it’s fair to blanket say that all work is soulless, and that paying professionals to do things for you is wrong. But I do think we could all stand to learn the true cost of things like food and clothes on the planet, people, and animals. So call me a fake radical but I am happy to give some jobs over to the tradies in my house.

I kind of can’t believe how long this went – hoping to review more zines this year but don’t expect >500 words very often.

[cullthedeer]

1, 2, 7, 8 😚

ask game

1 - Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

i have one main project in the drafts and one that i would really like to do something with but am not sure how to even come around getting started on. main project is real sexy lesbian jackluke porn fic that has of course (d)evolved into a (projected) longer more tender and more complete fic about sisterhood and summers and God. the usual stuff ! currently it is in the pre-writing stage, meaning i'm just thinking about it reaaaally intensely and wishing it would just write itself. really wanted to eventually get into the lesbianisms a little, so i'm quite excited to get started for real. also who am i if not the biggest sucker ever for beautiful summers that hold a melancholy you can't quite name

the other one is a bit more ambitious as i would like it to be some kind of mixed media zine but i am the embodiment of Graphic design is my passion frog reaction picture so this isn't going well for me so far. i really like that it feels unique---in what it deals with, in what i have in mind for the actual zine. theme is a secret tho :p

2 - Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

real sexy lesbian jackluke porn fic about sisterhood and summers and God because i am a short-sighted creature ... i do have a few other ideas i would really really really like to work on but they deserve to be written as long fics and i haven't quite worked up the creative muscles to churn out multiple thousand words yet ... ie cain & abel jackluke. one day you will be real

7 - What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

i try and try to give my difficult scenes (read: anything i posted after every sky is blue, but in general what deals with trauma/violence) a dreamlike, almost non-linear feel, and i hopeee it translates well and people would agree with that. i feel like by virtue of this i also tend to stray from more active storytelling, in a sense. i don't go straight from point a to point b in scenes and i never really try to. actions matter less to me than the atmosphere and context they bask into. from the feedback i got on recent fics, it does sound like people agree, and that makes me really happy 🐈

8 - Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

honestly it depends. i'll read anything that really piques my interest but many times it's not things i would be into writing, especially porn. conversely the themes i like to write about often fall into this very niche range of content i can only read if written a certain way/by certain writers i trust because sometimes, diving headfirst into a fic talking about csa/grooming written by someone i'm not familiar with is absurdly overwhelming. or not a very pleasant experience when it isn't handled well. i sure write about stuff i would want to read using the tone and the language i would want to read it written with !

[naumin]

2022 in review

in an effort to blog about art on my art blog more i will be writing a post covering my work in 2022 and maybe some aspirations going forward into 2023

2022 was the year of learning to paint! at the beginning i was really frustrated, a lot of my pieces were very hit or miss and i couldnt tell why some sucked and some fuckd. i nibbled at some online courses for fundamentals, James Gurney’s Color & Light book and Marco Bucci’s painting videos, and was looking for a mentor at one point but i think i stopped cuz i broke my thumb briefly lol

a piece from december 2021 that is just a bit random and i think representative of my stabbing in the dark

studying...

in June i split a schoolism sub with emma and it was an amazing decision. i think if you have limited time to practice drawing or dont know where to go the best thing is to take a course, and ive taken cheap or free courses online but the tutors on schoolism are top of the industry and the quality of their teaching is stellar imo. literally felt my brain explode with knowledge they are the best of the best. i finished the painting workout course with wouter tulp and ive dipped in and out of numerous others since then. its cool bcus u can study at your own pace.

July was artfight, i did talk about it here so not gonna repeat myself heh

then i was really busy with my MA, its been so fun and so exhausting. a year is so short and i want to try all the printing techniques and ceramics and everything cry. but hey now i know indesign and can make my own zines and stuff which is amazing. i also tabled at my first market :) i did really like it and would love to do more, dont want to put pressure on myself to do that this year but at least wanna visit them and scope out the audiences and stuff.

school really is making me appreciate traditional art again, tbh it is nothing like digital. you just cant get that chaos or physical resistance from your materials in digital, everything is very deliberate and constructed and almost predictable. ive started to incorporate more traditional work into my pieces where i can, especially photobashing. i can use photos i offhandedly took years ago and it feels really nice to get to repurpose them.

a spread from my school project, a book about one of my passions (i chose the story of how i got into elden ring!!!) i made it from paper cutting, photobashing, and digital. (im going to sell pdf and physical copies in the new year)

so circling back to the start of the year, i think you can see marked progress in my illustrations that ive posted here. i think i learned a lot about techniques within a painting but i want to learn more about pictorial composition bcus my default tends to be 3:4, portrait, charas centre, and i want to break that habit and tell more effective stories :)

over the past 2 years ive been incorporating more realism into the characters i draw and trying to be really deliberate with what features, proportions etc they have.

a 2021 isa and a 2022 isa

i think i want to maintain this level of detail because its descriptive enough for my needs but i want to push it to be more dynamic and stylised. i really admire the way disney animators like jin kim do it. its because im not confident enough with structure and anatomy to really play with it.

on the other hand with life drawing i really want to do more realism and capture exactly whats in front of me because i think i rely on style as a crutch too much hahaha.

from december. proud of these!!!

thats whats on my mind really. again really dont want to put any undue pressure on myself and i am going to be really busy until october at least. i am seriously proud of my progress in 2022. and im really looking forward to playing bloodborne x

[pythonmelon]

I've got a huge, ever changing batch of ideas and projects, but I thought it would be fun to do a little catalogue of what I've got ongoing!

Bloody Terrible- Bloody terrible in an in-progress modern supernatural fantasy crime thriller taking place in 1992 about a teenager trying to get her first job who gets wrapped up in the revenge plans of a notorious vampire using her as a human shield from those who rightfully want his head on a plate.

Morality Pet- What will probably come out as a novella set in the 80s/90s, the story of two childhood friends torn apart by one's untimely death and newfound vampirism and the other's strict family business obligations of baiting and eliminating all monsters in their little town, and the repercussions it has for their broken families- blood, experience, and broken covenant.

Bats!- A concept art zine about worms, bats, punks, and post-apocalyptic futures inspired by mid-lake 2000s DIY and punk rock music culture.

An untitled collection of short horror stories- A disparate collection of shorter horror stories of various lengths, subject matters, and more including vengeful forest gods, misguided true crime writers, killer seals, a terrible call center late shift, and truly awful traffic.

Nightmare Disorder- An anthology collection of comics based on dreams ans nightmares from throughout my life.

Honeylunches- A cookbook for the packed lunch appreciators and on-the-go types, of everything you could hope to do with meal prep, using leftovers, enjoying no-stress or low-stress meals, and making the most of pantry options in a variety of lunch (or breakfast, or dessert)-having situations.

Vic's Big Little Burger Guide- And near-comprehensive guide to a huge variety of burgers and burger builds, including vegetarian, vegan, fish, shrimp, you-name-it burgers, and sides too.

Molly Fae- A middle-grade fiction series of books set in 2005 about a young girl at a magic-oriented summer camp and the gods, monsters, and more she encounters there on her way to middle school magic mastery.

Bitch- A late-90's story of teenage girls, werewolves, and the absolutely heinous shit teenagers will do to each other without healthy coping mechanisms or like. A therapist.

Untitled horror novel- A story about Virgil and Fisch, two husbands from the same setting as Bloody Terrible and Morality Pet in the early 70's, as they settle into a new home and quickly become entangled in their town's sordid history and the massive, eel-infested sistern that rests beneath it that speaks to their mutual past of adaptation, strange magic, and murder most necessary.

Untitled Tabletop RPG- A tabletop system taking place in a custom setting of a long post-apocalyptic world overtaken by a nuclear winter and unnatural goings on, both as a result of mutants and something deeper awakening and making itself known within the world, with built-in surprises for both the DM and players.

There's a lot more, including lots of not-yet very developed comics, zines, nonfiction pieces, and even more mini-cookbooks, including fan based ones! I'm just working on a lot of stuff at once, bouncing back and forth between what holds my attention at any given moment, but I love sharing wips and progress as I go!

[anachronism-ahitzine]

What will the check ins consist of? Like what would we have to do for those?

Checks are basically just to see if anyone has any questions and kind of what they’re working on. They’re also good as brainstorms if you feel really stuck on what to create as you can see what other people are thinking of making during that first check-in. I know one zine I worked on had an artist and a writer come up with similar ideas and they ended up doing a collaborative piece. The first two check-ins have a window of four days whereas the last one is a week.

The first one is just a rough draft or general idea of what you want to make. It doesn’t need to be polished, but this check is to make sure you have a rough idea of what you want to make. By the second check, you should have the idea nailed down and should be starting on the project. It doesn’t have to be “midway” complete or anything, but there should be more polish than the rough draft. The final check will be done just before/is the final submission date. Your piece should be nearly finished at this point. Check three has the longest window (a full week) as when it closes, the final submission is due.

So the best way to think of it is:

•First check: idea/rough draft of project

•Second check: a check-in of general progress on the piece. A small sneak peek of the piece should be posted in the discord whether it’s art or writing

•Third check/submission: piece should nearly be complete, use this check to ask for a little more time if needed.

I know some people can finish a piece way quicker than others, so I’m trying to give ample time so everyone feels as though they can complete what they want in that span. If people want to submit early, they can, but we request that final submissions happen no early than the second check-in.

-mod Alex

[krabbu]

letting everybody know whats upcoming with my art and comic projects...

-i love aether and abber dragons from flightrising.com, undertides too!! i keep getting stuck on my art pieces of my new dragons, but they have been doodled... i just can’t finish the paintings ARGH!

-i really wanted to make more totk stuff but i... also didn’t finish that. oops

-a commission for a local business! i just need to finish the text...

-i’m actually working on a mobile game with an online friend? i JUST finished all the designs for it, i can post them without spoilers? should i? i can’t talk too much about it til’ we’re further along but it’s pretty awesome. i’m super proud of both my designs and what my coding friend has made progress on.

-warrior cat chic tract series. I’m trying to get more eyes on my art and my most popular post was that one about mapleshades kits. these will be simple and fun.

-slushiecorn zine... it’ll probably be free to download. MORE BELOW CUT

-artfight!! i haven’t attacked at all yet but i’m going to make a serious effort to do that in this last half a month i got! I’ve picked out a few people from Around to attack!!!

I’ve been in the process of moving for a while now, it’s hard to work in the middle of it. but there’s a ton of stuff i’m excited to share, even if i’m pretty sloppy about getting it done. now for most important updates...

-razor rabbit... i’m really astounded by how nice people have been. just thinking about it makes me want to cry. The chapter posted recently is going to be the third chapter overall. the first one is scripted and partially drawn out but i keep struggling with it, so i’ve been focusing on my ten dozen other projects. I started setting up the website for it but i burned out on that, which is a bummer? ITS A BUMMER!! I’ve been taking the time off from it to write future chapters.

-Chimera Claws. It’s my baby, it will be done one day, but i don’t know when that will be. Chimera Claws was always intended to be professionally published so personally, I’d like to get further into Razor Rabbit before going back to it and throwing it at all the publishers i can.

thank you everyone!!!!! WEEEHAWWWW

[caeboa]

Welcome to my blog!

Hello! I was overdue for a pinned post so I am putting one up. Most importantly if you're just here to see my art and would like to skip updates and text posts, please check my tag my art. My other Frequently used tags can be found here! My asks are open and I am happy to talk to people through there. If you'd like something replied to privately make it clear in the message. Anonymous asks are on, I reserve the right not to reply to any that make me uncomfortable or to turn them off if people are being weird. @alerane is my reblog tumblr, where I share art and things I like that are not mine! @detectivesplotslies is my Danganronpa sideblog, which I both reblog and post on. I do tag spoilers still on there, but I keep it separate because I'd rather not spoil some friends of mine on accident if they don't filter tags. It has spoilers for All Games so warning, I contained them for a reason. All my main links to other platforms are on my Carrd here but I'll go through the main ones under the read more.

Twitter - I have a twitter, and the shakiness of the platform aside I do still intend to post art there. On twitter I mostly post art and share projects like zines I'm on. Instagram - On instagram I post both art and cosplay stuff, and some holiday & trip photos, so if that interests you head over. Tiktok - On Tikok I post timelapses of both digital & traditional art as well as cosplay videos! There are spoilers on this account, labeled in the thumbnails and first 3 ish seconds so watch out. Patreon - I have a Patreon! It's... not much but it's a place you can support me if you'd like. You get access to a discord server where I spam share my Works in Progress that don't get posted elsewhere! I also share inspiration art from all sorts of platforms & post smaller announcements for upcoming stuff there first. I have plans for new reward tiers and bonuses in 2023 so stay tuned. Ko-fi - I have a ko-fi for tips! Every bit is appreciated. Bigcartel - the shop where I have charms, stickers and prints. It will be fully open again after convention season. Teepublic - an apparel shop with my mosaic designs up for print on demand for T-shirts, mugs, hoodies, pillows, phone cases, etc. I try to put things I think will look nice on these items here with lots of background colour options! If something is not on here there's usually a reason, the main three being 1) the design was hard to cutout from the background for a graphic 2) it was previously and was taken down by the IP holding company 3) it is a design based on an indie game/series which the creator has set limits on creation and distribution of fanart pieces. Feel free to ask though if you have a specific one you're wondering about. Otherwise there's a link to my portfolio & email on my carrd for those seeking freelance illustration & commission quotes! I do have a commissions example post but I am revamping it, so I will edit this post with the new one when it is here. Thanks for reading!

[angst-in-space]

february ‘23 writing progress

words written: 13.3k

most words written in a day: 1534

least words written in a day: 87

current yearly total: 28.4k

projects worked on:

- ya sci-fi book revisions - sylvix pacific rim au - editing sylvix dreamscape ch 9 - planning ya fantasy book - spy x vacation zine piece - matchablossom bedsharing fic - worked a bit on adult fantasy wip

works published in february: none

february goals:

- work on ya sci-fi book revisions - finish editing ch 9 of sylvix dreamscape - start editing ch 3 of renga fic? - work on my zine pieces - errrmm make more progress on ch 19 of altea rising - make some progress on other fic wips if i have time??

march goals:

- work on ya sci-fi book revisions - finish editing ch 9 of sylvix dreamscape - start editing ch 3 of renga fic - finish/submit final draft of 7ygz piece - finish/submit first draft of spy x vacation zine piece - work on sylvix pacrim au - work on matchablossom fic - work more on adult fantasy or planning ya fantasy? - maybeee work on one of my kl multichaps if i have time??

notes:

hmm kind of a slow month for me... i had hoped to mostly work on book revisions—which i did, just that it’s been a little more slow-going than i anticipated haha. i’d planned to rewrite ch 7 this past month but basically just ended up rewriting ch 6...again (and i’m still working on that lol). but on the bright side i do feel a lot better about it so there’s that!! trying to just take my time and not think about how ridiculously long it’s gonna take me to get through the whole book at this rate. 😂 but at the very least, i hope to at least finish this ch 6 rewrite and start rewriting ch 7 (maybe get a new draft of ch 7 done?).

i kinda neglected my fics for the first half of february but have been trying to work on them recently when i have the time! i’ve mostly been inspired to work on the sylvix pacific rim au and matchablossom bedsharing fic recently, so i hope to continue working on those in march!! and maybeeee some other wips as listed above. aaand i also have some zine pieces to work on so will definitely be doing those and i’m very excited for them!

as usual i also still have my growing backlog of chapters to edit/post because i’m a disorganized mess lolll. but uhhh i did at least edit SOME of sylvix dreamscape fic ch 9 this past month and i’m REALLY REALLY hoping to finish editing that and hand it off to betas sometime this month. sorry for such a long wait *sobs*. and i also feel bad that i’ve been neglecting renga practice kissing fic too, but ch 3 is probably next in the editing queue after i finish ch 9 of sylvix dreamscape!

so yeah lots to work on this month (what else is new) but excited to tackle it all!! 💪