#juuuuust research

[getinthehandbasket]

My dearest porn writers,

I'm going to give you some advice. If you already follow it, great! If not, please consider taking my advice.

Watch more porn. Seriously. You wouldn't look askance at someone who has reference pictures or videos of characters, locations, objects, etc. - so please do the same thing with porn!

I cannot tell you how many times I have been reading porn and gotten very confused with limbs going places and bending in ways I'm not sure is humanly possible.

You watch porn, maybe take some screenshots, and describe what you see. Your porn will make more sense and probably be hotter. I promise.

[polycyclic-aromatic-homocarbon]

Spending nearly 5 hours on an assignment worth only 2% of a mark normally doesn’t feel great but my grad student mentors said that my rough draft exceeded their expectations and they had no big comments on the final draft and that’s worth soooo much more to my ego than 5 hours teehee.

[potionsandtinctures]

1) The baby. The umbilical cord and placenta are both grown by the baby, the interface between the baby and the mother is where the placenta attaches.

2) They poop on command.

3) Your immune system, very early in development, “learns” what is you and what is other. If you have a second genetic line of cells in there it can learn that both are cool.

4) Yes, and some theorize that dry is upsetting to them.

5) It depends on how exact you were. If we control for random factors like dust and irritants and all the other minuscule epigenetic factors then yes. But if it was just an experiment using the faculties currently available to humanity? Probably not they’d diverge right away.

6) Seems like pretty early and maybe not. Whales probably lost their fur when they became fully aquatic. Seals have been in the water long enough to theoretically lose their fur, but it’s helpful for them when they rest on land. One big difference between the two is that seals evolved from a weasel adjacent creature whereas whales evolved from a hippo adjacent creature. Whales already had a body plan more suited to full time water (big, easy to float) wheras seals are sprint hunters.

(Side note on three. Identical twins who get donated organs from the other one dont need rejection drugs. Non identical twins do. Does the immune system “forget” the other one? Or is the learning process separate enough in the womb that they never learn it? Basically if you did an organ transplant on a newborn non identical twin would they need anti rejection drugs?)

I'm glad the internet exists to answer all my weird ass niche questions but all that seems to have done is driven me deeper down the hole of weirder, nicher questions

[fixated-cookies]

Ngl I saw the aphrodisiac and I can't help but brainstorm a whole thing:

Imagine a reader who is the poison tester because they are resistant to poisons...affogato slips em the aphrodisiac and reader is able to hold themselves, kinda...and at first affogato is surprised it had so little effect...until the night where reader goes to their room and starts trying to satisfy themselves but affogato just 'happens' to walk in...reader, ofcourse, acts embarrassed and apologies for such an awkward situation....until affogato offers his 'services' *cough cough* his face *cough cough* to help them satisfy themselves....and that's when reader learns how much affogato likes em inadvertently...how? Simple, he makes sure every orgasm is satisfying...not too fast, not to slow, just orgasm sent from heaven to orgasm sent from heaven...

Basically, the hc here is if he loves someone, and he does this to em...he would treat em like royalty during the eat-out...possibly as a way to...show his feelings. Not too fast, not to slow, and he would just KNOW how to please you exactly because he did his...research. Fan of normal eating out? Ofcourse, he can pull so many moves he already knows you'll love! Secretly fantasize about being edged like crazy while being eaten out? Let him show you he is the perfect lover to do that to you and keep you on the edge for as long as it is pleasurable and comfortable for you and what you wanted...this man knows EXACTLY went to finally give you that orgasm and stop. Fan of overstimulation? Oh he's more than happy to give you orgasm sent straight from your fantasies after orgasm sent from your fantasies...and again, master at knowing limits. He'd still make you have a safe word juuuuust incase there are factors he doesn't know about that could influence how much you want.

Happy bonus hc for ya, because I like your stuff so much: he is the king-no-god of aftercare! Even if it's your first time and don't know what would be good after care or what you want as aftercare, affogato got ya! Nervous because you don't know how to deal with post-sex numb legs? Let him gladly help you with that, dear. Feeling thirsty? Already has your favorite drink on standby. Hungry? Favorite food, standby. Feel extremely drained? Oh he already has a bath waiting for you to both help you feel relaxed and clean....and when you get out of the bath, he is ready to give you a massage. The type to fall asleep right after sex? That's OK, he will hold you while you sleep and you'll wake up to the aftercare being prepared in the morning.

Sorry if I went a little too crazy.

oooh gossip! Affogato would absolutely revel in the irony of it all. The way he thought his little concoction had barely worked, only to find out later that it had been simmering under the surface, waiting for the perfect moment to bloom. I assume he would be disappointed at first, awww. And, of course, he "just so happens" to be there, watching the reader struggle in vain. That feigned surprise, the sly amusement dancing in his cream eyes—he’d offer his assistance so sweetly, so gently, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

MDNI

Perhaps you can feel the heat crawling underneath your skin, your fingers covered in your own fluid and juices but you're still so insatiable. The door creaks open, and there stands Affogato, his expression unreadable at first—until his lips curl into that all-too-familiar smirk.

"My, my… what do we have here?"

The reader jolts upright, scrambling to cover themselves, their breath hitching in sheer panic. "A-Affogato?! I—I wasn’t—this isn’t—!"

The air is thick with something electric, something inevitable.

And when he kneels before them, his hands resting on their trembling thighs, his voice dips into something softer, sweeter.

"No need to be shy now… let me help you."

And that’s when the reader realizes—this isn't just about repayment or amusement. No, no… Affogato enjoys this far too much. The way he takes his time, never rushing, never overwhelming, drawing it out so that each wave of pleasure leaves you craving more from his tongue. He'd probably end up becoming addicted in his own way. drawing out precious moans and whines while his hands hold you onto the mattress. He just can't get enough.

He drags it out, savoring their reactions, never rushing—because this isn’t just about pleasure. No, this is his way of showing them just how much they mean to him. If you want he'll suck your clit gently, or if you'd prefer he can devour you like a ravenous creature instead. I think he'd be so mouthy like this, constantly teasing you with his touches and lips. Do you think he'll make you sit on his face? hooking his hands onto your thighs so you can't do anything but take it?

I totally agree with your after care headcanons as well.

Now he gets to spoil you.

The moment it's over, he's already moving, ensuring you're not left wanting for anything. A chilled glass of your favorite drink is placed in your hands before you can even ask. If you’re feeling too weak to sit up, he’ll simply guide it to your lips himself, murmuring praises all the while. And oh, the bath. Steaming, infused with the perfect blend of soothing herbs and oils—because of course, he anticipated this. If you hesitate, too shy or embarrassed to let him see you so vulnerable, he simply smiles, tilting his head. "Now, now… There's no need to be modest. I’ve already seen everything, haven’t I?"

--

alalalala just thinking about beautiful man lalala...

[oogaboogaspookyman]

FUNNIEST FIC EVER MADE BUT IT HAD TO BE RAUNCHY FUCK'S SAKE

I WROTE MOANING. BE VERY MUCH WARNED.

Also yes this is the thing i wrote because i lost a rock paper scissors game to @dronebiscuitbat

[LITTLE SHIT]

Bishop may be tired of hearing this every month.

"OH~! Oh god, Six~!"

"Mnn~! Ehn~!"

"Ah~! Teraa~!"

Bishop is definetly getting tired of this shit. It's been like this ever since they got together, those three. Tera, Six and Kiara would do this once a month and somehow they don't have like- TWELVE kids yet- it's so infuriating hearing them just make so much noise and of such debauchery too!

He blinks slowly, his eyes feeling heavy (somehow) from the exhaustion of the situation...

...

! Brain blast! Where did he pick that up from?? Whoever it was, they're probably as smart as him.

He grabs the phone on his desk and begins recording the noise. Eugh this is so dirty but it's gonna be worth it... And Tera's gonna kill him. Also worth it.

"A-ah~! Oh yeah right there Ter~!"

"Mnn~! Ah~!"

"Oh god, Ter-bear~!"

"Meep! Nngh~!"

He just looks at the ceiling as his phone on the desk sits and records the moaning. Listening to all that horrendous noise is so worth it, it's all for a great cause.

"Dios mio~! Ahh~!"

"Oh fuck~! Harder~!"

"Ahh~! Tera~!"

"Mnmn~! God i love you both~!"

AAAAAAND STOP RECORDING. PLEASE. Let's just... Give up on the studies and research and go to bed, try to sleep... If it's even possible with these three...

Bishop lies down on the mattress of his bed and hides under the covers, even goes as far as putting pillows on each side of his head, to drown out the noise.

It's gonna be a looooong night...

...

...

...

THE NEXT DAY...

...

...

...

"Ughh, girls..?" Tera was the first to wake up from the rough session last night, looking over at the other two– a blue haired drone and another with blonde hair– all cuddled up and cozy in Tera's warmth. They're so adorable like this...

"Wakey wakey you two~" she started moving them, attempting to wake them up, and seemingly succeeds as they start to wake from their deep slumber.

"mmmh just a little more..." Six responded to Tera's movement. Kiara remained silent but began moving too, nuzzling onto her chest instead of opening her eyes.

"Come on, we got a day to go through~" Tera whispered softly at Six's audial. That seems to do the trick, as she squeaked at that and slowly sat up. "Fiiiiine..." You can hear the >:( in her voice.

"Same goes for you, princess~" and Kiara squeaked all the same, but didn't complain.

And so they get off the bed, walk up to the door and head outside... The day begins.

...

...

...

AT SCHOOL... FUCK SCHOOL

Recess began, everyone has gone outside the classrooms and went on with their shenanigans... As if there's never shenanigans in class, they're all some kind of chaotic or stupid.

Tera looked inside her locker, looking at herself in the mirror and... Do you really think you're worth anything?

Six noticed her expression and made the decision to challenge her thoughts, hugging her tight and kissing her on the collarbone... Because she's short. At least she gets a good reaction out of it! She giggles as she's bonked lightly on the head by her tall partner, who's also giggling.

"Ew!" Said a passing student, earning a very feral HISSSSSS from Six. They immediately ran off. Good, fucking run you little piece of shit.

"Hey siiiissss~" oh god what is Bishop doing here. He walks up to the couple (actually a throuple, Kiara's just not present) and he seems to be hiding something behind his back...

"What's up!" Tera looks at her brother, clearly in a good mood today, as if she just went through the best night ever. Yes i'm gonna remind you of that. I'm not sorry.

"Good mood today, ah? Good, good... I got a little sumthin' for ya~" he's smiling so wide, showing off his fangs... Tera's face falls into a frown, and she furrows her eyes in suspicion. "What did you do now..."

"Juuuuust recorded a something i think you might like~" he pulls out his phone from behind himself, his eyes turned into rings and gained lines under them. The expression of pure, raw malice.

He taps on the play button...

...

"A-ah~! Oh yeah right there Ter~!"

glass_shatter.mp3

"YOU LITTLE!!!" She began chasing her brother, who's clearly amused by her reaction. "CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, DOGGY!!" he shouted, earning him a "I'M NOT A FUCKING DOG!!" from Tera.

Six just watched as Tera chased Bishop through the same doors, some even breaking from the sheer momentum spawned from her rage, scaring off the surrounding students and the teach remains unphased through it all (of course). This feels like something out of Scooby Doo. Six used to watch that when she was little, maybe she has one of the songs saved?

"What's going on?! Something happened with Ter?!" Kiara ran into the scene to find Tera chasing Bishop, and immediately isn't so worried about it. "What did he do now?" Kiara asked, curious, and Six's answer is... "He recorded our session last night" and Kiara's hair right after perked up like a cat's fur, and her visor filled up with white blush. "HE WHAT?!?!"

"Yeah he did that, just to tease her i think. I'd say i'm not embarrassed at all but i'd be lying..." Six and Kiara just stared at the two, running around at crazy high speeds... "Tera's gonna kill him" to which Kiara added "YEAH NO SHIT?!"

"Oh hey i found it!" Kiara's confused, until all of a sudden... A drum beat, and then an entire Scooby Doo ass instrumental. Is that fucking music for a chase scene. Did Six really just pull this.

Six is the first to begin her laughing fit, starting with snorting and proceeding with a full blown howl, crouching and holding her sides. Kiara started giggling and it progressed into soft laughter, yet loud too.

"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!!!" Tera yelled at Bishop, who responded with "MA AND PA AREN'T GONNA BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT SIS~!" Inbetween laughter, amused by the situation as a whole.

"No property damage in the halls–" ZOOM. The two speeding drones ran over the teacher standing in front of an open door, probably hurting him in the process... "Alright..." And he's unphased. Of course.

Jesus christ what is happening...

[end.]

[misc-obeyme]

scientist barbatos save me scientist barbatos

(the stem major in me is SCREAMING)

- 🎹

I assume this is about the recent card art of Barb in a lab coat... you know where a plant is about to eat Levi while the plant itself is about to get eaten by Beel?

Anyway, if Barbatos wasn't a butler, I feel like scientist would be an excellent profession for him. He's so meticulous, I just think he'd be really good at it. Likely could keep all kinds of research organized, but also juuuuust unhinged enough to come up with those eureka moments...

One step away from evil villain... er I mean innovating the future!

[according2thelore]

Ls/es verse but with more Castiel pls!

We see in canon that over the years, sam dean and cas became good friends. Id like to see how the ES boys would react to the LS theyre simping for interacting with Cas

Like ES dean is pissed cos why is this random dude or whatever he is being given LS Sam's genuine soft ass smile

While ES sam is all jealous after hearing that LS dean and Cas have a profound bond

It would be funnier too if the ES boys think Cas togethet with them too and the possibility of being in a throuple with this dude is something they cant stand

hi, anon!

in one of my previous ES/LS verse posts, i mentioned how ES!Sam would be immediately and completely enamoured with cas because holy shit!!! an actual ANGEL!!!

sam is pretty religious in the first few seasons, and is genuinely excited to meet him in s4, so i'm sure now that cas is not calling him an abomination, it goes really well!

ES!Sam is giggling and twirling his hair and asking if castiel really has wings. castiel doesn't get impatient and explains enough angel lore for sam to go all nerd-wild, while leaving out important factoids so their future doesn't get upended. cas lifts the table over his head, with sam sitting on it. cas shows his wing outline through that grace-power-up he does. ES!Sam is enamoured.

and that luster lasts juuuuust until he overhears castiel ensuring ES!Dean that not to worry, while he and LS!Dean's bond is made more profound by the passage of time, he will not play favourites.

record scratch. very much "yup. that's me. you're probably wondering how i got into this situation."

LS!Sam&Dean call castiel "their best friend." ES!Sam finds LS!Dean and cas whispering to each other in the kitchen, standing close. like...brother close.

then, the nail in the coffin. dean calls cas a brother. ES!Sam is DEVASTATED. who the fuck is this guy?? some angel poser who thinks it's cool to what--STEAL BROTHERS???

now that he's seen it, he can't unsee it. cas stands uncomfortably close to LS!Dean and doesn't move away when LS!Sam comes into the room. he's flaunting it!! the hussy!!!

LS!Sam turns and asks for a book and cas is already holding it. LS!Sam laughs and thanks him, smiling softly, RIGHT IN FRONT OF LS!Dean????? are they cool with cheating?? what the fuck is going on??

ES!Dean, who has watched ES!Sam flutter and flounce and kick his merry little feet for a few weeks has been over cas since day dot. this little interloper has been collecting his brothers--oh fuck did he just think brothers, plural? no he meant brother, for sure, just the one, ES!Sam--for too long.

killing an angel will absolutely get you thrown into hell, though, right??

LS!Sam shakes his head and laughs loudly and his eyes go soft so fondly whenever cas does something fucking stupid, and ES!Dean wonders if slitting cas's throat would even work? does he need it to live?

LS!Sam puts a hand on cas's back to move him, and ES!Dean wonders if body slamming him off of the cliff-edge they're standing near would do any substantial damage.

now that ES!Sam is on his side, they whisper furiously to each other and glare whenever anyone steps into the room because it might be cas.

cas--this whole time--is thinking, "wow! a second set of winchesters without their most significant trauma. my friends. <3" and is just happy to see them so animated and alive.

it would be hilarious if ES!Sam&Dean are arguing over who let this guy into their relationship to become a throuple. ES!Sam is like "don't get up my ass about it mr 'profound bond'" and LS!Dean shoves him like "fuck off!!! if you weren't eye-banging him every two to three seconds he wouldn't've gotten the wrong idea!"

and when cas says something kind to ES!Sam later, ES!Sam is still stuck between oh shit!!! an angel just said i'm the best researcher he knows!!!! and oh shit 😡 the guy who puts his dick in dean's ass just said i'm good at something 😡😡😡 what the fuck do you know about it ass-stealer

so he just ends up kind of going :/ thanks :) i appreciate it >:(

and cas--whose facial expression reading success rate is 65% on a good day--says :) no problem! :)

they rock-paper-scissor over who gets to break up with him in the future. they hesitate because what if their future selves haven't broken up with him because he can smite them? or something? but they see him pick a leaf off of sam's hair and decide "fuck it. we're dumping him TONIGHT."

i love cas and i love this ask! thank you, anon! <3

-lizzy

[vellichorvibes]

8, 9, 27-30 for writers asks

hey you!!!

8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you’d write one for…

Oof my own fic? I desperately want to actually deliver on a sequel for SAUDADE, the gaalee girlies have been so good to me, waiting 5 years for 2 chapters and then NOTHING buttt i’m literally rewriting that whole fic currently sooooo sequel will have to wait...

Someone elses??? most of my fave fics have sequals/series TBH but if there was a fic i’d give my left tit to see FINISHED? The Alkahest by shadukiam. Never once updated since january 2018 and i juuuuust…will never love again, that’s all, it’s fine…

9. start to finish, how long did it take you to write the last fic you posted?

I started working on small town boy on may 10 and “finished” june 1, but honestly i was making edits all the way up until the day before posting into the decades week challenge sooo june 9. 30 days??? 

27. your favorite part of the writing process

World building /research! Liiike i love a fic grounded in reality no matter what the fandom or AU so deep diving into time/area/fandom/lore specific details is probably the thing i spend the most loving amount of time on. I want my stories to feel real and immersive. So like really digging into the prohibition vibes for small town boy was great but also i’ve learned SO MUCH about islam for my bismillah series and 80s pop culture for the light off dying stars. i love turning a hobby into homework frfr

28. your least favorite part of the writing process

Proof reading - something about going back over the words i just spent hours/days typing is sooo tedious. I actually have an app now that reads documents out loud to me so then i can just listen to what i wrote and hopefully catch any grammatical/spelling errors. I listen to every single thing I write at least twice before posting 

29. how easy is it for you to come up with titles?

It’d be so much easier if not for the tism i’m sure. I love a lyric, line from a poem, or song title but for some reason I like to keep all my titles in a certain fandom related. Not even just a series! So like my bismillah series, all the story titles are phrases used in islam that mention allah - makes sense, these stories all go together.

But now for the outsiders fandom i’m COMMITTED to this idea that every single story/chapter/series has to be named after an orville peck song/album/lyric which is wonderful, love that gay cowboy, but liiiike the bronco series is going to by 8 stories total named after songs from that album but that album has 15 songs... i CANNOT use those unused titles somewhere else because it would BOTHER ME. likewise all my fics for the inside job fandom are named after songs by andres and all my bobs burgers fics are food puns…i love a theme 

30. share a fic you’re especially proud of

Every latest fic i write becomes my #1 baby straight off the bat so right now obviously i’m really REALLY proud of small town boy, but before that i loved working on a the river runs backwards. I love the body by stephen king and really wanted to pay homage to it while also trying a repeating timeline AU which I’d never done before. Just a work of pure love and fan girl admiration and for a fandom that is sooooo small.

[justmessybottoms]

padded professor/researcher anon from your omo blog here!

imagine this professor, up late, writing up a report yet again.

but this time, the coffee isn't sitting well with their tummy, and they've got a gurgly tummy...

but they hold it in as long as they can, hoping they can get to the bathroom after they finish this report.

and then right as they finish and send it off, in walks their spouse, startling them...

...and it all comes out.

Oh, hi again! Goodness, this poor professor just can't catch a break - they really think they're going to make it this time, that they won't have to suffer THIS type of accident too... And then their spouse startles them juuuuust enough for their body to give up and let everything go, much to their humiliation I'm sure...

Thanks for the ask!

[princesspastel8]

Chapter 65

Third POV

Police sirens can be heard, getting closer and closer to the home. The three go back to Eboni's room and climb down the window. Just as they were about to book it into the forest, a sound of a gun clocking. The three turn around, Eboni forced behind Jeff.

"Years, I waited. Fucking waited for this moment."

Eboni peeks around Jeff, sighing heavily. "....Michael? Really? How did you -"

"No one believed a word I said! I knew it was you that killed them, but I know you had help - and motive. Then we came across that kid you claimed raped you. Maaaaaaan, that was something gruesome! Smith still wouldn't listen to me! So I rain off, trusted my gut - now here we are!"

"Damn... you talk too much." BEN grumbles, rolling his eyes.

Jeff claps sarcastically, grinning. "Well, good job, dectivite! I bet this shit is feeding your ego juuuuust right - huh?" The smiling killer mocks.

"Yeah, keep smiling. I'm gonna have the last laugh! And you..." Michael trails off, glaring daggers at Eboni. "I knew you had a few screws loose. A crazy bitch like you should've been locked away in a mental institution ages ago!"

That is enough to make Jeff frown. He steps forward, making the male place a finger over his trigger. "I don't give a shit what you say about me, but you better watch your fucking mouth when it comes to what's mine."

Michael raises a brow, tilting his head. "Well, this just keeps getting better, huh!? I'll get to take away someone you care about - just like how you did me!"

Jeff stares at the male for a moment, huffing. "Gonna have to be more specific here. I have a lot of victims." He chuckles.

At this point, Micheal's face becomes red with anger. "You... YOU KILLED MY BROTHERS!"

Jeff picks at his ear, looking at BEN - the demon shrugging, not having a clue who this guy is still. "Ok? What makes you so fucking special?"

"Does the name Justin ring any bells?" Micheal questions, enjoying Jeff's reaction. "Yeah... yeah, the one you claimed bullied you alongside Spencer! You killed them... Then, after you escaped that psych ward, you killed my parents! YOU TOOK MY FAMILY AWAY FROM ME!"

"No...no I gave them peace. But Justin?" Jeff begins to laugh, eyes now bloodshot with rage. "He played a part in making me. Freeing me even! Why are you playing dumb? Trying to seek revenge for the guilt you feel? You wish you were with them that day? To save them or to die with them? Doesn't matter to me - you'd just be another victim."

Just as Jeff said that, police cars surround them. BEN curses under his breath. He's not supposed to be seen in the public, let alone known. Sure, many know of his existence and back, sorry- but there's never been any evidence to make up many claims. If any of these cops have dash cams, then it can lead to a serious problem with slenderman.

"And you'll just be another inmate on death row!"

Eboni quickly pulls out her gun, annoyed with Michael's threats. There's no way she's losing the freedom she finally gained thanks to Jeff. Just as Eboni aims her gun, a shot rings through the air. She cries out, dropping her gun and holding her shoulder in pain.

Jeff's eyes seem to bug out of his head. The two locks eyes, Eboni's drowning in pain & fear. This isn't how their Christmas is supposed to go. They're supposed to be back at the slender mansion by now. So Jeff looks at BEN for help, but he's let down and also taken aback. Michael has the watering holes, spraying the demon with water.

Michael laughs mockingly. "Not so tuff now, huh? You thought I didn't do enough research? Myth or not, I wasn't taking any chances."

Jeff lost sight of reason and raises his fist to try and punch Micheal, but Mr. Smith shoots Jeff in both of his legs. The killer stumbles but refuses to fall, so Smith & three other officers jump on him, keeping Jeff pinned to the ground and hand cuffs them.

"Jeff!- get the fuck off me!" Eboni shouts, trying to shake the two cops holding her down.

The two share a look of distress. Slenderman should know what's happening. He should be here by now, their back in his jurisdiction. There's no way he's decided to disregard them due to them leaving his bubble of protection? But Eboni's his next project. He can't be this far ahead to see that Eboni will only listen to Jeff - right?

No matter. Jeff will figure something out. He always does - he has to. He can't look defeated in front of her. She's watching his every move, every reaction. Any slight change in his face will make her piece together, his thoughts racing in panic. So what does Jeff do?

He gives her his signature smile.

"Smile princess." He instructs, earning his face to be shoved into the ground.

"Get off of him! Don't do that - Jeff!"

Jeff forces his face up despite the strength of the officer trying to force it back down. "I said smile, princess!" He laughs loudly, snickering in between.

Eboni watches, tears filling her eyes. But she smiles. This time, this short time spent free with Jeff has been the best moment of her life - the best day of her entire existence. Eboni is devoted to Jeff, so no matter what's to come- she will keep her loyalty to him. Nothing can sway her, but if... someone - something can -

"You have the right to remain silent! Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of......la- bah!"

Suddenly, all the weight holding the two lovebirds are lifted, followed by the sound of fearful screams and loud gunfire. Jeff stays on the ground due to the flying bullets but crawls over to Eboni. He places half of his weight on top of her to shield her, raising his head to asset what's happening.

His eyes widen at the sight. A being standing ten feet tall, grey gasly skin, glowing red eyes, black horns that seem to glow based on the ceatures mood, razor sharp teeth, pony ears, and sharp claws- reaching six inches. This being is also dressed in a suit similar to Slenderman's, but a few buttons are undone, and his tie is low but still together.

The creature continues its bloodbath, ripping through the officers like pieces of raw meat. It truly is a sight to see. Though, the huge question is lingering within Jeff's mind. Just what the hell is Zalgo doing here? The demon king turns to Micheal, licking the blood off his claws with its long slippery tongue - stretching six inches.

"You humans all have different flavors. All based on your final rush of emotions. Fear, anguish, desperation - but the one I favor the most is rage. The hot, steamy taste of rageful blood has a nice spicy tang to it, don't you think?"

Michael is trembling, having witnessed his colleagues being torn to shreds - but he won't show fear, at least on his face. He aims his gun at Zalgo, emptying the clip. A laugh leaves the beast, one low yet mixed with different pitches & voices. The demon king stretches his arm, his claws digging deep into Michael's stomach.

The male cries out as he lifts from the ground, blood pouring out of his mouth. The creature brings him itches from his face, his tongue licking down his cheek to his throat.

"Such fire, Michael. Hope you taste just as good!"

Zalgo would then bite the male's head off, swallowing it whole. He drops the corpse, licking his claws clean. The demon king then turns his attention to BEN, laughing at his pitiful state.

"I question why you went to Slenderman instead of living with your own kind, BEN." Zalgo sighs, using fire from the palm of his hand to dry the water quickly.

When dried enough, BEN quickly glitches away, helping Jeff & Eboni off the ground. She stares at the being, not having a clue who nor what it may be. She whimpers, clenching her shoulder. The bullet lodged in her shoulder. Zalgo moves to step forward, but Jeff is quick to pull out his knife and shield his girl.

"Step the fuck back.", the smiling killer warns.

"Or what? Gonna attack me with your wittle bitty knife? Oh goodness, I'm terrified!" Zalgo mocks, laughing.

Jeff grinds his teeth together, about to lung forward, but Zalgo holds his hands up in mock surrender. "Relax, kid! Jeez, I'm not here for you. I'm here for the girl."

Eboni's eyes widen, trying to look over Jeff. "Me? What hell you want with me? What even are you? Who are you?"

"Soooooooooo many questions, but fine - I'll humor you. I'm Zalgo! The demon king, or Lord. Either is fine - you may have heard the saying 'He comes. He who hides behind the walls.' " He grins.

"Hold on...as in -"

"Yes, yes. My two useless daughters. I am aware that you are acquainted with them. In fact, that's when I took an odd interest in you." He hums, tilting his head.

The demon king notices how still reluctantly the three are to speak, so he sighs heavily. "Perhaps I should present myself in a more friendly form."

Zalgo begins to shapeshift. His height lowers to six five, grayish gasly skin now a pale yet tanned shade. One eye is a normal oval green while the other is inky black with red irises. His nails are painted black, hair a burgundy red, markings on his throat that resemble a choker, rings littering his fingers, and piercings in his ears. He's still dressed in a suit, though this time a vest instead of a suit jacket. Eboni has to admit that he does look fairly attractive for a psychotic demon king.

"Now. Let's talk."

"What the fuck do you want with my girl?", Jeff questions with clenched teeth.

"As stated before, I'm interested in her. Not in the way you're thinking, lover boy. Still surprised you let a mere thing make her make you all soft."

"Zalgo, I'm not in the mood for your shit! Get to talking or -"

"You used to be all for shits and giggles. Jeez, you literally have a smile on your fa-"

"I didn't do that shit myself, and you know it!"

"Struck a nerve, I guess."

Eboni rubs her hand up and down Jeff's back, hoping to calm him. She turns her attention back to the demon king. "I'm nothing special, at least not to someone with high power."

"Oh, but you are, child! Slenderman has been dying to get his hands on you. God, could you just imagine the look on his face when I take you right from under him!?"

"He can't - He's faceless, dipshit."

Zalgo raises a brow, placing a hand on his chin and tilting his head. "My my...you are feisty. Just like your mo-"

"Get on with it, Zalgo. We're all exhausted after today!" BEN snaps quickly, confusing the two.

The demon lord puts two and two together, bursting into a fit of laughter. "Alright, alright. It's not my place to say anyway, but it will be if you accept what I have to offer."

"Which is?" Eboni questions, Jeff giving her a look of warning, but she shrugs it off - doubting she'll even ponder on it.

"Work under me. You know the jest- kill, collect souls - blah blah blah. You get a place to stay, anything you want I'd give you."

"What's the catch?"

"A catch? Oh kid, there isn't one! All I want are souls."

"Don't shit me. I'm not some stupid bitch. What is it that you want from me in return? When deals sound to good to be true, there's always a catch - hidden within the fine print or in your words."

"Oooooooooooo! You're a smart one! Fine, fine! It's nothing too big - nothing major. All I want is your soul."

"What!?" Jeff shouts, now fuming again. "Fuck no! She's mine! She only answers to me! Eboni belongs to me!"

Zalgo laughs, shaking his head. "Cute declaration!" He snaps his fingers, Jeff's lips disappear. "But I don't think I asked for your opinion."

"Jeff!" Eboni shouts, trying to keep him from lunging at Zalgo and scratching at his face. Thankfully, BEN steps in and holds Jeff down, using his powers as best he can to keep him at bay.

"I'll allow you to still see your boy toy or whatever he is to you - hehe, look at him squirming on the ground like a worm - anyways!" He holds out his hand, a contract and a feather pin floating in front of Eboni. "Just sign on the dotted line, and all will be w-"

"No."

"No?"

Zalgo is quick to transform back, towering over her but lowering his face down to be itches from hers. "NO!?"

Eboni gags, covering her mouth and taking a step back. To say Zalgo is surprised that the girl didn't even flinch is an understatement. After everything Eboni has gone through , a Demon king is the least frightening thing she's had to face. Despite what this being is capable of, the girl encountered plenty of monsters to know how to deal with frightening situations.

"Yeah, no. My da... Jeff is right. I only answer to him. My entire being belongs to him. And since he doesn't work under you, then I can't either. I go where Jeff goes. He leads. I follow."

Hearing this, Jeff's temper fizzles down. BEN let's him go, and Jeff springs to his feet, taking Eboni into his arms. He glares daggers at Zalgo, backing away quickly. The demon king watches on, his eye twitching but smile stretching.

"No one... has ever said no to me, except one." He laughs wickedly, eyeing BEN who hangs his head low in shame - something the two didn't notice.

Zalgo buttons up his shirt and fixes his tie, eyeing Eboni as he did so. "And that one unfortunately paid with her life. You're just as smart as her, as witty and even more beautiful. Shame, such a shame!"

The creature begins walking off, pausing mid-step, turning around to look Eboni dead in her eyes - the look chilling her, yet she still feels no fear.

"Such a shame you'll succumb to the same fate as your mother.", and with that, Zalgo disappears into the night.

[covertleathers]

54 & 68!

Working on 7, 23, 13, and 56 from this ask game! Thank you so much for asking this! I loved your softball au fic!

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process? Oh, it's got to be doing research, making playlists, and making sure the vibe is juuuuust right! Music has always helped me write because it helps me bring more flavor to the setting I'm writing about.

68. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration? Usually watch a movie or make a pinterest board or do MORE RESEARCH. Exploring media! I was feeling a little stagnant on BM, so I looked up old radio station recordings from the 1970s and it brought me to such a beautiful place in time it helped get me out of it.

[il-piccolo-paggio]

He slept motionlessly, the slight rise and fall of his chest the only indication he was alive at all. The only other thing about him that moved was the light beneath his skin, which flickered irregularly in swirls and pulses. It was unnerving to watch, and Barbarina kept wondering if it was still hurting him as much as it did in the gardens. 

The night’s events seemed unreal. It was like something that seemed to come from a storybook, or from the ancient myths that Cherubino had tried to tell her so much about. Greek or Roman were the tales, where people transformed into animals and gods used their powers for good and evil. She did not know whether the powers that had taken over the boy were good or evil, but with the pain they had caused him, she held nothing but a quiet contempt for them.    She was sure that experiencing a miracle was more frightening than anything else. Even before this night of terror, she had always imagined that the people who had seen an angel - the shepherds and Moses and Gideon - had been scared more than anything else. She understood why they had fallen to their knees in fearful reverence. But now, the gardens she knew so well felt like Golgotha, and if she had not felt Cherubino cling to her in a fear that was so very much his own, she would have thought the boy had died and something else had taken his place. Godly or devilish, she did not dare to say. 

Enjoy a chapter that took more time to research than it took to write! Purely because the mid 1700's were a *really* weird time in medicine and many advancements were juuuuust after that period. So they have to improvise! Fun, you know Figaro is good at improvising.

[i-identify-birds-in-posts]

https://www.tumblr.com/kiskivmiske/770496642801696768/huh-is-that-a-bird-sounded-mechanical?source=share

Western Siberia, around 62°

I keep hearing this sound in the woods randomly during the day and at dusk around 5 pm. IRL it sounds almost like an electronic signal, but it moves, and I hear it at different locations without hearing an engine and often without seeing tracks. There's a junkyard juuuuust behind this area of the forest, but I also heard it near railway 3+km away. This isn't how our trains honk. When it echoes it does sound more like an animal, the tone differs a bit.

I know many birds that live in our woods: great gray owl, Ural owl, corvids, nutcrackers, jays, great tits, sparrows, nuthatches, grouses, thrushes, waxwings, etc. Or it's a very uncommon sound for any of them. Or it's a raven imitating a car going backwards. Or a bird that isn't common for this place. I've seen a barn owl and a flamingo going as far as near Ekaterinburg. Or just aliens.

I'm sadly not EXTREMELY familiar with Eurasian birds, but upon hearing it my immediate thought was a jay, or at least a corvid. It's hard to find examples but I can tell you blue jays (Cyanocitta cristata) of N America make "pinging" or "plonking" sounds like that on occasion. So with that informing my research, I looked at corvids.

It's not identical but I found this clip of common ravens (Corvus corax) making a very similar sound. Considering animals can have "accents" and individual variation, especially with birds, that's my best guess. Even in this video, the final raven makes the sound three times while the other two only do it twice. I wouldn't be surprised if some populations have a longer gap between the "klonks". Distance and echoes can change the sound too, of course.

(original video)

(sorry for the horrid cropping lol I only have very basic video editing software on my laptop)

So I'm fairly confident that's what your animal is. At the very least it's almost certainly a corvid, maybe even one mimicking another. It's a really cool sound either way! Thank you for the ask ^ ^

[adafruit]

It's 10pm, do you know where your RTK prototypes are? 🔧🛰️🎯

We juuuuust plugged in this uBlox RTK F9P shield into USB and given the intense cost of these modules we definitely had a nervous twitch but then we heard the "ba-dunk" of enumeration and wheeeewww it came up as a serial port. Heartened, we soldered on a right-angle SMA connector and connected a chonky active antenna . Start up a copy of u-center and huzzah, there is GNSS data streaming out. Next up, we have to figure out what we want to use as the underlying transport layer from base station to rover - maybe an ESP32-S3 Metro and ESP-Now? more research is needed!

[irrealisms]

no apple but a heart liner notes

fic here if you haven't read it!

i had the idea of vitalasubz funerary cannibalism pretty immediately after seeing "cannibalism" on the prompt list. it's a good concept. but i wasn't sure if i could get it to the minimum word count (it ended up juuuuust scraping by) so i decided to write the time loop fic first and then do the cannibalism as a bonus if i felt up for it

and then one of my friends (unrelatedly! without knowing about this!) started talking about eclipse fed cannibalism on discord, and i was like Man....i should write eclipse federation cannibalism....unfortunately i only really have enough ideas for One Scene of it.....and they were like write one scene then! and i went You Know What. youre right. and wrote this in one sitting

for research for this fic i read all of @erstwhilesparrow's mcyt cannibalism fics in a row. check those out if you haven't already: double life desertduo(&/)boat boys, limlife mean gills, 3rd life desertduo, new life owen(&/)scott

i knew basically as soon as i had the idea that i wanted to do stuff with the despawn timer. how much can you eat in 5 minutes, when you're grieving and dissociating and in shock, your action spurred on only by the knowledge that whatever you don't eat will disappear forever? that this is the only way to preserve anything at all of the one you love?

in contrast i did not know until literally the day of writing it that i was gonna do something with hearts-as-hearts. it was a good idea, though.

did you know that after subz dies, vitalasy stands without moving or speaking for 50 seconds, turns slightly, and then continues standing there without doing anything or speaking for another 13 seconds. yeah. fun little canon moment. it's also 63 seconds off the 5-minute despawn timer!

the title is from quattrocento by margaret atwood, which is a great poem. idk how well it actually works for this piece thematically, it works okay i think but i'm not doing a ton with serpent imagery here (even though i could! subz and eclipse are in fact totally doing various mythological snake imageries!) or with garden-of-eden stuff? but the imagery always stuck with me when writing cannibalism stuff and i hadn't gotten to use it for a title yet and figured this was my chance

cannibalism as devotion.... cannibalism as memorial...... mm. good stuff. i should have made a way to make this Eucharistic somehow, cannibalism-as-worship doesn't show up here as much but it would've slapped.

something that didn't make it into the fic but that i did have some thoughts about is vitalasy's feelings wrt zam + subz after this. i think he's glad, on some level, that he got to eat subz and zam didn't, but also he feels kind of guilty for feeling glad, but also he's arguing to himself that he shouldn't have to feel guilty, it's not like he stopped zam from being there, zam wasn't there bc zam isn't/wasn't on their team.

other stuff that is even less fic-relevant but that i've been thinking about is that you could do a lot with "if you kill someone you get their heart" + the various meanings cannibalism can have. cannibalism as domination of an opponent. cannibalism as possession. cannibalism as respecting someone's sacrifice. killing someone and then handing them their own heart to eat, when you kill someone and give them back the heart. yeah. fun possibilities!

shoutout to ihob. nothing much to say here other than i'm glad i somehow included ihob in the vitalasubz cannibalism fic. i love ihob. i love that bacon only eats pork chops even though they're worse than golden carrots! he's on three hearts anyway, what's the added saturation gonna do! i love the dumb fucking three-way contract for its ownership. i love. ihob.

fun fact: the only other fic on ao3 tagged with subz's suicide stream is ALSO a vitalasubz funerary cannibalism fic. i genuinely did not know this until after posting. what can i say, it's a good concept.

[thefloatingstone]

You said some time ago that Mass Effect: Andromeda doesn't interest you. Did you start it or was that from research? If you could bring yourself to play it, your thoughts on the games exploration of colonialism would be welcome.

This is gonna sound weird but... I adore the trilogy SO MUCH you know?

To the point where it can be difficult to appreciate Dragon Age because it is juuuuust similar enough to remind me of Mass Effect without BEING Mass Effect. So a lot of playing Dragon Age, especially Inquisition, is me thinking at all times "GOD I wish my Mass Effect friends were here with me ;___;"

And I can only see Andromeda being the same at the very best of outcomes. At worst I just severely dislike the game. At best, I think it's a fun game but I will be missing the found family squad literally the entire time and just wish Garrus, Tali, Liara, Wrex etc et al were with me.

And the reason I believe this will be the case is because of one tiny, singular moment in Angry Joe's original review of the game where he did not like it, mostly due to the state it was in. This one moment did not actually have anything to do with his critique or his criticism or why he disliked the game. It was just a small clip sitting among the entire review when he was just discussing how bad the dialogue was in the game and he just mentioned it in the middle of his critique.

But although I could overlook all of this criticisms as things that might not apply to me, this one singular moment made me realise Andromeda would not be for me.

please note this does NOT MEAN I WANT SHEPARD IN ANOTHER GAME PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET HER REST. But it means Andromeda just.... doesn't measure up. And in the immortal words of Vanilla Ice "anything less than the best is a felony." when it comes to Mass Effect. The trilogy casts a LONG shadow...

(also a clip of a Salarian going "Kill me now" as a snarky response did NOT do it for me at all.... They would not fucking say that 😭)