#kind of like a trauma response but manifested physically

[moonstruckme]

I’m not quite sure if this is too explicit so if it is please feel free to decline, but I was wondering if you could do a poly!marauders x reader who has a past with sexual assault so is kind of iffy and stand offish about sexual inter course? Again, all good if you can’t because it is a touchy subject ! I hope you’re having a lovely day/night !! (p.s. I love your writing so much :3)

Thank you gorgeous, love you <3

cw: trauma response, mention of past sexual assault

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.2k words

Sometimes you can feel left out. Of the easy way the boys touch each other, the knowingness they have of the other’s bodies, the in-jokes about intimate aspects of their relationship that aren’t secret from you but you’re not a part of. And you know in your bones, in that thrumming, impossible-to-ignore beat inside your ribcage, that you’re not ready to be a part of them, but it still hurts to have something about your boys that’s separate from you. Some part of them you can’t access, and it’s only because you won’t allow them access to you in return. 

And sometimes, like now, things go astonishingly well. Sometimes you can let them touch you while feeling nothing but the pleasant warmth of love and lust brewing like a potion in your core. Sometimes you can let yourself tug Sirius closer as he kisses you, can swallow the soft sounds he makes into your mouth without your mind taking you anywhere other than this bed, this boy. 

Sometimes you can get so lost in them it feels like the fear can’t find you. 

“Okay?” Sirius’ breathes, setting a tentative hand on the small of your back. He tastes like coca cola, and his lips are a manifestation of every soft and earnest part of him he never shows. “This okay, sweetness?” 

You nod fervently, trying very hard not to think as you tunnel your fingers into the featherdown silkiness of the hair behind his ear. 

“Yeah?” You’re growing quite sick of all his talking, persistent in your kisses even when Sirius breaks them. His mouth curves against yours, sensing this, and his hand settles more comfortably into the curve of your spine. “Alright, you’re in charge. Just let me know if anything’s too much.” 

You make a muffled sound of acknowledgement. Truly, logically, you feel safe with Sirius, the same as you would with Remus or James. It was his idea that you be on top, after Remus figured out that you feel most comfortable when you don’t feel trapped, after James was the one to initiate the conversation on how they can make you feel good while respecting your (admittedly, nebulous and often fickle) boundaries. You haven’t worked up the courage to do anything beyond kissing, and none of them have pushed you. Really, you’ve been the one doing the pushing, wanting more and more from the kissing until it’s turned into this, you and Sirius hiding from dishwashing duty with you on top of him and sucking his face like a dementor.

You grind your hips down into his, and Sirius’ chuckle rumbles through the both of you as he grabs a greedy handful of your ass. 

Your breath stills in your lungs. 

You still completely, actually, every inch of you rigid, from your bum under Sirius’ hand to your eyes, stuck closed tight. The only part of you that seems to get that you’re still alive is your heart, thrashing wildly inside the bars of your ribcage like it wants to escape when you can’t. 

“Shit.” Sirius’ hand flees upward, skimming up your back to safer territory below your shoulder blades. “Shit, sorry, baby. You okay?” 

You want to tell him yes, in every physical, objective, important way you’re just fine. But your breath is frozen solid somewhere between your throat and your lungs, and it won’t let you speak. 

“Sweetheart.” Sirius is starting to sound desperate, though he’s clearly trying to stay calm for your sake. He sets gentle hands at your waist, sitting you up while he eases out from under you. You expect you’ll move like a statue, but your arms move of their own mind once freed, wrapping tight around your middle. “You’re okay, baby, you’re safe. I’m so sorry, I was—I should have asked. I moved too fast, I didn’t mean to scare you. Can you talk to me, please?” 

“Sorry,” you manage. Something comes loose inside you. The air comes back to your lungs, you pull your legs up onto the bed, and laughter unspools from inside you like wire long coiled tight. 

Sirius doesn’t smile. “Don’t be sorry,” he says. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have touched you like that. Are you okay?”

It’s now that James and Remus decide to come and see what you’re up to. At the sound of Sirius’ panic-tight voice, their footsteps hasten down the hallway. James taps on the doorframe and you turn to him so fast your neck clicks. His face is melded by a soft worry. 

“Everything alright?” he asks. 

You nod, but Sirius must signal something different from your other side, because James and Remus advance forward the way one might approach a feral kitten. 

“Are you okay?” Sirius asks again, voice cracking now that the other two are here. 

“Hey, it’s alright, love,” Remus says gently. “Maybe stop touching her for a bit.” You hadn’t even noticed Sirius’ hand gripping your leg, but its removal feels like you’ve lost a thousand pounds. You fight back a shiver. “She’s okay. Aren’t you, darling?” 

To hear worry in even Remus’ voice is significant, and you try to make yours even to counter it. “Yeah,” you agree. “Yeah, sorry, I’m fine.” 

“You don’t need to be sorry,” James promises, crouching in front of you and Sirius. You’ve nowhere to hide from his melty-soft gaze. “What happened?” 

“I went too far.” Sirius’ voice sounds like it hurts, scraping its way out of him. Your heart throbs in response. 

You shake your head, insistent and perhaps a touch too fast. “No, it wasn’t your fault. I was—I—I escalated things, and then it just—”

“Take a deep breath,” Remus instructs. 

“I’m fine,” you say again. 

“Please, sweetheart. Just try.” 

You do, for his sake, pushing air in and out of your lungs like you’re trying to inflate a balloon. They won’t get as full as you want them too, but it’s not until you try that your body seems to catch up to what’s been happening. You start trembling all over. 

“Shit.” Your voice thickens, tears threatening. “Sorry, this is so uncalled for.” 

“It’s not,” James says. “Can I—can I hold your hand, or are you not ready for that yet?” 

“Please,” you squeak out. 

He grasps your hand, and you squeeze tightly, breathing until the tears don’t press at your eyes so insistently. You hate that the ugly thing of your past is touching something this good. That it’s hurting people who aren’t you, like it’s a virus you caught and now you’re spreading it.

“It’s really not your fault,” you tell Sirius, turning to him. “I thought I could handle it.” 

“I shouldn’t have moved without checking,” he replies in a similar tone. “I’m so sorry, sweetness, I never want to scare you like that.” 

You shake your head. “You don’t.” 

A dense silence lapses, not uncomfortable but full of things unsaid. James’ hand is warm in yours. 

“Hug?” you ask Sirius. 

He looks surprised. “Are you sure?” 

You nod, extricating your hand from James’ to wrap your arms around his middle. Sirius is tentative at first, palms placed lightly on the high and low points of your back, but when you hold him tighter he reciprocates. You hear Remus whisper something to James. Sirius’ fingers press into your back, the tip of his nose cold where it squishes into your neck. 

Sometimes, they make you feel completely safe. 

[spaciebabie]

burned out

[randomness-is-my-order]

the thing about watching the pjo tv show as an adult after reading the books a literal decade ago is that you realise that percy’s sharp wit and sarcasm has an origin: he wasn’t born sassing anyone who dares to mess with him.

he became that way because it’s a legitimate coping mechanism, a response that spares him from unnecessary emotional burden and hurt. it’s said sometimes that trauma nourishes humor, especially the kind of sharp-edged wit percy possesses. it’s not always about undermining one’s struggles or deflecting but about playing something for laughs as a way to rise above it and percy does this phenomenally well.

like you see the rage, the sadness, the feeling of being helpless and confused all on percy’s face when he’s thrown into situations that harm him, physically or mentally or emotionally. you see it, you know he’s having a tough time of it but later when he’s reacting to all of it, it comes with the sarcasm and sass we know and love from this character.

like compare his reaction to grover’s halfgoat reveal to his nonchalant, sarcastic resignation when it comes to chiron. that humor based response was a consequence–not the first instinctual reaction.

it’s percy’s way of coping. sometimes, it can and does lead to repression but most of the time, as far as i know and remember, it comes from a place of empowering himself and others around him, of easing the tension, of digesting some revelation too heavy to be played serious and straight. and that’s why i love his wit and sass so much because you know why he uses it and why he has fully earned to say or think the words he does. it’s not a superficial thing but something deeprooted, a way for his personality to manifest. (and also, ofc, to say a sanitized equivalent of fuck you to the gods coz they really do deserve it).

all of this to say: i love the show for actually portraying how percy slowly grows more and more disenchanted with the world and its arbitrary order and how his humor is not always just a deflection but something that provides stability to both him and others, against all odds because somehow i never registered this or saw it this way when i was younger and reading the books for the first time.

p.s: walker scobell is amazing (so are aryan & leah, as far as i have seen). we couldn’t have found a better person to play percy jackson.

[punkpandapatrixk]

❤️‍🩹I Just Want to be Loved ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

We attract terrible loves for various reasons; so many lessons; but now sorrow has got to lessen. Let’s reveal patterns by exhuming roots. We’ve got to stop this cycle of disappointments. Done being made to feel as if we’re hard to love.

We’re not hard to love. Many of us were simply denied love, warmth and affection as we were growing up… Don’t know how to love self; don’t know how to love others; basically don’t know how to even receive Love… Who’s to blame now?

Why the hell were so many children denied love, warmth, affection…?

What are you going to do with yourself when you were denied love, warmth and affection as you were growing up?

☆♪°・.

‘The child who isn’t embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.’ – an African proverb

People denied warmth and affection tend to fall into a desperate loop of fishing for attention as a result of love-deficiency, right? Some learn to lick love off a knife; some pursue success (whatever that means) all too frantically; some…shoot complete strangers in broad daylight; and some who ain’t got the guts to murder complete strangers in public places go instead for antagonising strangers on social media… Gosh, that is desperate.

But you know what, not all hope is lost because there’s still plenty of us who are blessed with this incredibly RARE thing called self-awareness. There are plenty of us who will take our traumas to the graveyard than pass them down the next generations.

You, don’t deserve to have your sanity and your Life ruined by some psychos who didn’t know how to love you. Reclaim lost pieces of yourself by understanding THREE Houses in your natal chart, babe:

4th House: your roots; tells you what was lacking in your home; explains your erratic 10th House ambitions

8th House: your marriage or your desire for a bond like it; this the House where trauma manifests itself in full spectrum

11th House: your wish fulfilment; where you connect with people who support your visions; breeds a healthy sense of connection, even community

SONG: Emptiness by BoA

MOVIE: Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Because I Can’t Even Trust Myself

VIBE: Trust by Hamasaki Ayumi

lost pieces (pertaining to 4th House) – Ace of Pentacles Rx

It’s clear your childhood didn’t offer a sense of stability or security—the physical kind that children usually need. It could be that a grownup left early or it could be that you moved around a lot, so you easily lost contact with new friends you’d just made. In essence, it feels like you grew up feeling ‘everything disappears eventually; everyone leaves eventually’.

Some of you might’ve grown up not having a lot of material resources, but for the majority of you tuning into this Pile, it was more a feeling of a lack of warmth. For children, the pain of neglect and a lack of emotional connection do really affect our physical health more severely. You might’ve grown up poor and sickly due to all the grownups around you being inattentive, unaffectionate, and just…unreliable at best.

Because of this awareness, from a young age you realised you would have to do everything yourself. You wanted to grow up quickly and do your own things your own ways. It’s not like you had to grow up fast, you wanted to grow up fast to have your freedom and power! It was…hard to trust adults. It was hard to trust the world at large.

growing pains (pertaining to 8th House) – 8 of Pentacles

On the path of growing up, I think you became a hard worker of sort? This is very nuanced though—there are layers to your developing yourself to become a hardworking person. In many ways, you grew up responsible because you didn’t want to become like the adults who had disappointed you. But since this sense of ‘responsibility’ is a product of neglect and trauma…this is coming off as your feeling responsible for everything. Everything!

Some of you could’ve been too hard on yourself, expecting way too much for your age. You’ve felt like you’re always the one with everything to prove. It’s hard living like that. It feels like you’ve put so much effort into keeping everything together, and yet, nobody sees how much you care. Nobody truly understands the fear in your mind and pain you carry in your heart.

In matters of relationship, you cling extra hard to friends or lovers, too; because deep down you’re afraid of losing things and people, again and again. This unhealthy attachment—and to some extent, controlling behaviour—is truly your wounded inner child attempting frantically to keep your Reality from falling apart…

reclamation (pertaining to 11th House) – 4 of Cups

I’m very sure that at some point in Life, your Higher Self and team of Spirit Guides are going to kick in and meddle with your Earthly business. For some people, it’s possible you could lose contact with everybody you’ve ever known in Life and go into a hermit mode to find yourself again. For some, it could be that your whole Life is simply flipped, without necessarily losing key people in your Life, for you to look at Life and human connections from a very different point of view.

It’s going to be hard, of course. Emotionally, it could be devastating. Themes of abandonment and betrayal are big in your incarnation. But you know, ultimately, all of these challenges serve to remind you that the Cup of Love and Affection you’ve been looking for has always been right inside of you. You’ve had a bitter time with a lot of people because deep down you couldn’t trust them. You couldn’t trust other people’s loyalty because you didn’t even believe that you’re worthy of that Love and Loyalty you yearn for.

Your Spirit Guides are saying, that although at some point in Life things are going to get really tough, know that when you’ve graduated those lessons, you’re going to be rewarded with the most beautiful Soulmate-shit friendships, familyship and relationship. Truth be told, part of your Soul’s scenario in this incarnation is to find your Soul Tribe; and find your Tribe you shall~

A L O N E🔻💗

ALL of you – Red Alchemist (John Dee)

becoming ONE and whole – Priestess of Healing

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Misled by My Own Compassion

VIBE: Cry Me A River by Julie London

lost pieces (pertaining to 4th House) – Knight of Cups

It’s very likely your 4th House is in a Water sign, but if not, you’re still very much a Water-y person; perhaps your Ascendant or Moon is in a Water sign, or that you have Neptune/Moon near/in your 4th, 7th or 11th House. All of this generally makes you a deeply compassionate person. No matter what outer appearances give, you strive to look deeper into a person’s Soul. You have so much empathy and you want to believe in the good of people.

Alas! This rotten world doesn’t make it too easy. This world is not a world where kindness and compassion are truly rewarded, if we don’t learn to be a tad cruel ourselves. You’re not in the wrong for being so genuinely good and compassionate; it’s this world that’s the wrong world. You know that? Therefore, it is paramount you learn to be a bitchilante! But I’m getting ahead of myself.

In spite of this PAC’s intro, I sense the majority of you tuning into this Pile actually grew up quite well. Many of you actually grew up in loving homes and that’s why it’s been quite challenging for you to grapple with the realness of the ugliness of the world outside of your loving home. Really…people in the real world…are monsters! And you were taken aback!

But some of you instead most likely grew up in chaotic, battlefield-esque homes and that’s why you’ve striven to be so good to a point of detriment.

growing pains (pertaining to 8th House) – 0 The Fool Rx

Be that as it may, you being you… Well, you do put in the effort to try and understand what makes monsters the way that they are, right? It’s all good and wonderful, until you get yourself in deep trouble where nobody can save you but your own monstrosity. Depending on your age when reading this, this could be something that’s happened in the past or will happen; where you will be forced to grow up in the sense of seeing the world as it is and get firm with assholes!

Dr Jordan Peterson has this gold shit to summarise this spiritual lesson you will be taking at some point in Life: ‘You should be a monster, an absolute monster, and then you should learn to control it.’ Well, that’s male speech. In female speech, we just say: ‘you gotta grow up and be a bitchilante!’

Be a bitch only to those who deserve it. How would you protect yourself from monsters if you don’t have the strength to fight them at their own game, darling? If you’re harmless, weak as a fawn, if anything, the real monsters in the world are going to toy with your sanity: ‘I saw my “crazy” side once and decided I wouldn’t be involved with anyone that would take me out of my peace like that ever again.’

Be a bitchilante. That whole concept of ‘good, harmless, love and light, positivity-only’ bullshit was put out there not to really make you good but to weaken you against the truly monstrous ones. WAKE UP, BITCH!

reclamation (pertaining to 11th House) – 4 of Pentacles

So? So what if you’re selective with your affection? Not everybody deserves your compassion. That’s for sure. There are many people in the world and you can’t be nice to all of them. One at point or another, you’re gonna be a villain in someone’s story—so what? Everybody else is the main character of their own Stories; that, you can’t control.

Be careful that you’re not falling victim to your own narcissism in wanting to be praised in everybody’s Story, yeah? So then, pertaining to your 11th House, weirdly enough, your wish fulfilment is in the form of a psychological liberation from your own idea of yourself in the minds of others. I sense that if you’re East Asian this is gonna resonate much harder and louder LOL

Anyway, I want to assure you that once you’ve graduated from your spiritual lessons, you will be met with unique, courageous, rebellious weirdos who will be just as clear as you are about what it truly means to be a good person in a world that’s often very bad. How good should a person be to truly be considered a good person?

‘If I offended you, cry me a river. I’ll bring snacks and a raft. I will literally float down your tears eating chips and working on my tan.’ – Fuckology

A L O N E🔻💚

ALL of you – Green Geographer (Gerardus Mercator)

becoming ONE and whole – Priestess of Success

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Lights Out; I’m Out to Find Myself

VIBE: To. X by Taeyeon

lost pieces (pertaining to 4th House) – Ace of Cups Rx

I’ve to preface this Pile by saying this the pile that gets a little violent…

You were originally such a positive, happy-go-lucky kid, but quite early on, this world gave you so much darkness. So many reasons to be sad. It’s not been a very kind life, to be honest. Defo many of you have tragical placements here—your 4th or 5th House could start or end in Scorpio; have Lilith/Pluto/Chiron/Saturn there or in the sign of Cancer/Pisces; or it could be that your Venus/Moon is imprisoned in the 8th or 12th House and harshly aspected, too...

If your childhood has been violent or mightily confusing, it’s a group thing, OK? You can think like that. It’s not your fault. Know that practically everybody who has these harsh placements has gone through very similar things as you. So you’re really not the only one who’s failing—whatever that means. You’ve been gaslit a lot into believing there’s something wrong with you, but it was your environment that was just filled with totally terrible Human beings. That much I’d like to assure you.

It wasn’t natural how you were abused psychologically and emotionally. The people around you drew a parallel to Cinderella’s stepsisters in the Disney classic. It’s ridiculous like that. I think you grew up terribly lonely and created comfort characters in your head to console your sorrows? It’s very likely that your comfort characters were in actuality a mirror fragment of your Soul Family’s existence locked in your memory bank.

growing pains (pertaining to 8th House) – XIV Temperance Rx

Life, unfortunately, isn’t a Disney movie. As a result of the psychological and emotional abuse you’ve endured in childhood, your friendships and relationships might’ve been quite turbulent, at times even violent. Juuust a small number of you could’ve dealt with being called a violent kid, or you could’ve struggled with anger management and have terrible tantrums. All of these have made human connections quite difficult to navigate.

It’s not like you want to be a nasty person, right? Many times, you couldn’t help the way you react/respond to what’s being said and unsaid because, somehow, there are many things that people do and say that trigger a trauma response in you. There’s a very difficult Mars thingy going on here. I think many of you resonating with this Pile have some difficult Mars (ruler of Scorpio) placements/aspects that affect the way you manifest human connections in your Life.

Speaking in terms of synastry, it could be that you’ve attracted a great deal of people whose Mars aspected badly in your natal chart—consequently triggering bad traumas and manifesting violent outbursts in your connections. Ultimately though, these negative experiences with other people could’ve enforced your belief about how unlovable you are, which, really, is a false belief…

reclamation (pertaining to 11th House) – 5 of Wands

It is a false Reality that you’re unlovable or unworthy of a healthy relationship. That bullshit was implanted in you through the creation of a harsh environment that caused you a great deal of rage. Of course, you’re accountable for how you behave towards other people, but your foundation was never quite healthy or peaceful or harmonious, so… How about we put it all behind us and focus on healing? After all, it’s not like the people you’ve had a beef with were completely innocent? XP

It's kinda selfish to think like that, but you can depend on your own discernment to distinguish who amongst the people you’ve hurt or had a beef with to apologise to. Remember: sometimes apologies only make you weaker and looking at the unique bullshit astrological placements you were born with… apologising to the wrong fucker would only get you gaslit even more! So, don’t. Don’t apologise for the distress you experienced under other people’s lack of support.

Burn that bridge and detach yourself from that old stinking world. With your sheer willpower, you have it in you to rebuild your own little world of love and peace. After all, those harsh placements you were born with, are you aware of just how much power they bestow you? These placements come with a lot of turbulences but once you graduate your first Saturn Return, they also give you a burst of power unlike any other!

Lights out. Not entertaining aenergies that seek to nip your power at the bud anymore. Burn, baby, burn strong! Burn the whole Tower and find yourself on new lands~!

A L O N E🔻💜

ALL of you – Gold Alchemist (Roger Bacon)

becoming ONE and whole – Priestess of Solitude

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

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[casper-spills]

𝒲𝒽𝓎 𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝒜𝓇𝑒 𝒥𝑒𝒶𝓁𝑜𝓊𝓈 𝒪𝒻 𝒴𝑜𝓊...

ᴘɪʟᴇ 1 ~ ᴘɪʟᴇ 2 ~ ᴘɪʟᴇ 3

ᴘɪʟᴇ 1

Cards: Knight of Swords, Six of Swords, Three of Wands (reversed), The Magician, Ten of Coins, Eight of Swords (reversed), The Sun (reversed), Five of Coins (reversed)

They are jealous because they think that you're incredibly capable of having a sucessful life. They think that you are ambitious, action oriented, driven and a fast thinker. They also notice how adaptable you are and how much you change as a person especially when this change has something to do with certain baggage or traumas you might have. You're not easliy put down or effected by what others project onto you, making you unstoppable. Once you put your mind to something, absolutely nothing and nobody can stop you. You have already manifested your dreams.

They are jealous because they have a goal in mind that they just can't seem to put into action like you can. They may have a similar upbringing to you or they just relate to you deeply and because of this, they get frustrated with themselves when they don't have the same resilience when life brings them down. They wonder how you're always so persistant and motivated even after what you've been through. They can't seem to get themsleves out of this negative energy.

Your physical assets: Unique appearance, birthmarks or scars, appear younger than you are, good nose, flashing smile, rosy complexion or red hair, broad shoulders or slim hips, lean figure

Good traits you have: Adaptable, always changing, open minded, truth seeker, passionate, explorer, unafraid of failure, good communicator, curious, knowledgable

ᴘɪʟᴇ 2

Cards: Seven of Swords (reversed), Two of Wands, King of Swords, The Fountain, Knight of Wands, Three of Swords, Three of Cups (reversed), Two of Coins, Six of Wands (reversed), Three of Wands, Knight of Cups, Five of Cups (reversed)

They are jealous of you because they know that you are very intelligent and put together. You are in control of your life and you have a certain power that this person cannot even compare to. You might be the kind of person that leads a group or a team. You might be an extrovert and people might gravitate towards you. They know that you are organised,intelligent emotionally as well as academically, open minded, energetic and passionate. This person has also noticed that you don’t really bring others into your problems. You don’t like to talk about your personal drama within this circle and nobody suspects it except maybe thus person. Perhaps this person was once someone you trusted with this information.

This person might be an ex friend or even ex lover or just somebody that you have cut ties with. It seems that there are others that have cut ties with them. Perhaps a third party in the love triangle or this might just be a friend group of three. They’re jealous because the third party has chosen you over them. They prioritised you over them and started to pay more attention to you. This person might try to bring you down by name calling and jabbing at your ego.

Your physical assets: Half smile, high forehead, inquisitive eyes, very tall, long torso, shapely legs, broad shoulders and hips

Good traits you have: Intimidating, calm cool and detached demeanour, a little awkward in a charming way, optimistic, philosophical, responsible, generous, tolerant

ᴘɪʟᴇ 3

Cards: Strength (reversed), Temperance, Six of Coins, The Fountain (reversed), Eight of Coins, Knight of Cups, The Tower, The Moon (reversed), Five of Coins (reversed), King of Wands (reversed), Seven of Wands (reversed), The World (reversed), Page of Coins (reversed), Ace of Coins

You and this person are rivals and they are jealous of you because you have taken measures to get what you want and it’s working. You are both interested in the same person romantically and they know that you are a ‘sweetheart’ in everyone’s eyes. You wear your emotions on your sleeve, you’re generous and patient except in this particular case. You have decided that now is the time to be impulsive and hasty so you’ve started to use your assets to charm your person.

They know that you’re seen as very feminine, almost as if you’re a princess in need, a damsel in distress, and your knight in shining armour wants to come and save the day. You’ve decided to get close with them, opening up to them and talking about your vulnerabilities and your insecurities. They’re definitely very jealous of you because you have them wrapped around your finger and they can’t possibly compete with someone like you.

Your physical assets: Large round eyes, small and delicate ears, dark hair and eyes, doe eyed, curly hair, symmetrical features, distinct delicate neck, strong posture, distinct voice/manner of speaking

Good traits you have: good communicator, adaptable, witty, quick learner, easily express your feelings, good at conceptualising ideas, organised, analytical

✧ 𝕿𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖐 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖋𝖔𝖗 200 𝖋𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜𝖊𝖗𝖘! ✧

Special thanks to @miawiraclz @artscapismsworld @miraclekay97 @slashercult @swordoftheseeker @visualbutterflysworld @rainychibikko @honnuey @livelythoughts

[probablyhuntersmom]

Therapist Analysis of Hunter's Mental Health in For the Future

Ok, getting down to business and writing this meta at last..(delayed thanks to physical health issues that manifested)..

Throughout most of the ep, leading up to the climactic scenes, we see a new kind of manner in which Hunter is responding to psychological pain, drastically different from what we got used to seeing:

I don't think we've seen him this irritable ever before. There is 99% no recoiling, retreating or shrinking back in his body language except here:

Instead, we see him marching forward, almost like how an animal makes itself look bigger to scare others off, with a singled-minded laser-like focus. But he is in deep anguish.

In addition, he maintains physical distance, unlike his usual self who would want to check on everyone and make a physical effort to feel like he is part of the group. His own mind is more than enough of a rollercoaster to handle in the wake of bereavement, which is why he's keeping the others at arm's length to not be overwhelmed:

(..sorry, I miss the chicken onesie and obviously want to upload 30 pics of him in this post too lol)

The fear of Belos himself, has become more like a fear of feeling the emotional pain caused by Belos, if that makes sense. Stopping Belos is all that matters to him now because his new greatest fear is the pain of bereavement related to losing Flapjack, and that it would be in vain.

It's a crazy massive shift in what he's most afraid of.

He has a strong sense of urgency but it's a world away from how he wanted his thoughts to be as far away from Belos as possible, back in Labyrinth Runners. Instead, Belos is now occupying pretty much every thought he has:

and jfc, I felt so sad seeing this shift: because it reminded me how trauma and its aftermath can take you further away from your real self, in more than one way or direction.

Instead of being numb (a necessity for his mind to protect itself and for him to survive, while he hid from the Emperor's Coven search party back then), it's more a rawness that's present in his emotions in this episode.

Different kinds of pain/fear require different means to be suppressed or numbed out.

He won't allow himself to go to that place of being directly in touch with that raw pain, or else he cannot accomplish the goal of stopping Belos. Anger is after all a secondary emotion, usually protecting emotions like sadness. Clients often choose to come to therapy once they sense they need guidance to go to this painful emotional place, if they can't do it on their own. It's having to remove the band-aid, see what's there (which can be scary and quite unpleasant) and clean out the wound with care.

Hunter needs to maintain this armored state of mind in order to not fall apart (he already did this to a lesser extent when he cried right after Flapjack faded away: that wasn't a long cry, and he didn't even sob), and to subconsciously minimize the chance of going through what's called emotional flooding. He gets close at times to being overwhelmed by flooding, but never gets totally reeled into it, unlike the scenes where he darted out of Eda's house (Hollow Mind) or became trapped and curled up in the first panic attack he had in Labyrinth Runners.

If you notice, him shielding himself psychologically in For the Future like this means he automatically resists moments of emotionally connecting with anyone, subconsciously seeing this as a threat. A very notable example of this can be seen in how he reacts to Clover and Emmi here:

Because emotional connection with any of his loved ones might make him unprepared for a face-off with Belos that could happen literally any second. These quick mental calculations could all be happening in his head subconsciously, while he is reacting and being on edge like this, with a lot of adrenaline putting him in this mode.

However, it's important to note that he isn't completely consumed by this grief response, and his heart was definitely not completely hardened, because other familiar sides of him can be observed e.g. looking out for others:

He makes an effort to be as patient as he can, giving Luz and the others quite a bit of space to lead, though he can't hide the rawness from appearing on his face. It's telling how he has never been an aggressive, pushy personality, and he only veered in that direction in S2A out of fear that he would not please Belos (there was the risk of him literally being cast out and abandoned by his former 'caregiver').

Below is the part of the ep where the tone shifts, after the others call attention to his emotional needs (having love expressed to him, being noticed, etc):

and it's the part of him that we already knew existed, the deepest part that wants someone to reach out and connect with him:

It's a core part that never vanished:

but was just buried down beneath his anguish.

I believe he no longer put up resistance using his emotional armor because he realized deep down that this need to receive love/care was just as important as getting justice for Flapjack, if not more. His support network was going to help him get justice and he had to lean into that and trust in that. He must've realized that both those needs for love and justice are not mutually exclusive.

Anyhow..after Willow, Gus and Luz reach out to him lovingly, while Amity and Camila are also giving him their quiet attention, we can already observe his expression softening. When Willow and Gus leave the room, he runs out of the room after them, calling out their names:

and this easily segways into his heart softening, and the walls beginning to come down in a healthy environment (the trusted good company of his friends):

These were such good signs that not only was he thawing out: he could also begin to hold (and express) multiple emotions at once, instead of letting only one of them (the raw hardened anger) hijack his mental state. He could hold the raw grief, feeling love for Willow and Gus, yet still maintaining the desire to go after Belos which is a mix of fear and anger. His emotions weren't so rigidly all-or-nothing as a result.

I'd like to also note that he likely felt safe enough to express his tears after Willow revealed how she felt about herself. It strongly aligned with his values to minister to her pain: and while he did that, some of his own anguish could be healthily expressed instead of stuffed down in the dark where it would be feared.

Interestingly I find that scene similar to one case I handled whereby my client took a long time to dare to speak about her own pain, which could only happen after we spent a few sessions discussing fictional characters that she resonated with. Other clients do this by preferring metaphors rather than directly referencing themselves, what happened to them, and their pain.

References outside of the client themselves, that have similar enough struggles to the client's own struggles, can provide the safety of detachment and distance for the client to explore their own issues. This detachment is a gap that a therapist should work on closing over time, at a pace that the client is comfy with, until the client feels safe to reference themselves and experience their own darkness without getting overwhelmed.

Basically, Hunter connecting with Willow's pain could've been what allowed him to feel the scary emotions that he'd been avoiding in all the scenes prior to Willow showing him the photo of him and Flapjack. Feeling any form of love would also mean feeling grief he was carrying.

Sometimes in trauma, our emotions and cognitions flip like a switch quickly in a black-and-white sort of fashion, which may be useful if things are life-or-death, but may cause issues once any real dangers have passed (though if S3 hadn't been shortened, I wonder how differently this part of his arc would've played out).

What's interesting is we never quite see any contending or an active struggle between 1. the part of him that wants (and rightfully needs) to receive love/care, and 2. the angry part of him that wants justice, that wants to track down Belos so badly after the loss of Flapjack. It's more like one eased into the other, and I believe both parts can coexist, and it's a balance that he should be able to strike while remaining stable in the next episode. Balance like that is an indication of improved mental health: being able to hold multiple emotions in your mind at once and remaining relatively calm, instead of one or maybe two difficult and unpleasant emotions hijacking everything.

It makes sense that the group gave him his space throughout most of the ep, instinctively sensing that they should be nearby in case he asked for support, but not being too close because he would be in more undesired and unnecessary pain. E.g. if Camila had asked him what he asked Willow ("Willow, hold on. How are you feeling?"), early on in the ep, he probably would've brushed it off by minimizing his pain with a "I'm fine", to politely decline anything she'd do to extend support and care. Maybe he wouldn't have been ready. Only once he saw Willow in a lot of her own anguish did he feel ready to truly connect.

It's a big contrast..how afraid he was back then about the others finding out he's a grimwalker:

versus his response when Gus brings it up at last.

Hunter is so tired by this point, too preoccupied with the major life change he's experiencing, that he doesn't even look fazed. It helped that Willow had just told him "you're one of us now".

Plus I strongly believe there was already underlying healing that made him capable to handling the grimwalker reveal and any ambush by Belos. One indication is this body language comparison here:

where the 2nd one shows that he still leans forward, instead of pulling back like in the first one.

By the end of For the Future, more emotional balance has been restored in him, and it began when Willow took the risk to show him the old flyer derby photo and use it as a conversation starter.

That's a wrap for today's episode of Holy Titan I Love This Kid So Much That I Might Die.

[cooki3face]

cookie face master list ♡

message: this is my official master list for my tarot readings and any of my other favorite post that I’ve made so far, I make a lot of posts that aren’t titled or formatted in any way so this a good tool to use to be able to find any of my posts that are important to find that have any important information or did really well. Thank you to the user who recommended I create one of these, I had started making one some time ago but I ended up giving up because I was intimidated by how many post I had and how I would format this master list. ❤️

public psa & content breakdown (PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU INTERACT!!!)

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ tarot readings:

cookie face tarot info: (please read!!) (personal tarot readings closed)

Cookie face tarot readings ♡

entertainment:

your first time alone with your spouse 🖤

their last dream of you ☁️🔒

how people see you ⭐️

what will your marriage be like 💍

what would your divine masculine be like as a father

their favorite things about you 💐

how does your person view intimacy with you (18+)

what kind of seducer are you (18+)

what will you be like as a mother

what permanent union w/ your divine feminine would be like: divine masculine reading

why are they silent?

what lessons are you learning in love right now?

Messages from spirit on conflict between Israel and Palestine 🇵🇸❤️

your next quantum leap

what your in laws would think of you (and their child)

messages for singles from your divine counterpart

messages from someone who let go of you

what you need to hear right now: channeled from spirit

what’s going on in your friendships

Your present reality vs far future

***

energy check-in:

~ Energy check in w/ advice : July 2, 2023 ~

~ Energy check in w/ advice : June 27, 2023 ~

energy update 🧿: 8/18/23

six card pull: energy update ♡

***

divine feminine/divine masculine:

what’s going on within the divine masculine collective | divine masculine update | June 30, 2023

what would your divine masculine be like as a father

divine feminine/divine masculine update & twin flame update : 8-23-23

Divine masculine & Divine feminine update / twin flame update 🖤 : 8/30/23

what permanent union w/ your divine feminine would be like: divine masculine reading

***

spirit baby readings:

spirit baby reading 🧸

spirit baby reading🍼

***

disclaimer: any readings that I do can be switched around to resonate with any sex/gender. I’m just a woman and most of the imagery I’m attracted to is feminine in nature and I have a large feminine following and community so often times I feel their energy strongest when I’m channeling for the collective but if you’re a masculine energy that doesn’t mean there isn’t a message for you in a reading of mine!

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ spirituality/self-care/healing:

"Physical Pain In The Body And Their Spiritual Meanings"

“Differentiating between steady boundaries and self -sabotaging as a trauma response: how to identify & what to do”

“Understanding the difference between “niceness” & kindness”

My opinion on organized religion

"Manifesting with conviction & intention: What is it and how to do it"

"How to fix a broken sleep schedule: relaxation tips & creating an ideal bed routine"

“Your anger is the part of you that knows your mistreatment."

people pleasers

"men who refuse to grow up will find women who suit their lifestyles"

"Normal people have trauma"

"Nobody is responsible for your triggers and you aren’t responsible for any of anyone else’s"

"Grew up hearing that I was way too picky or that I wasn’t going to get everything that I wanted"

"my anxious attatchment style & mother wound"

"manifestation & energetic frequencies: what people want most in life"

"The dark night of the soul"

“How to navigate the dark night of the soul”

"A fear of being seen"

“wounded feminine energy vs wounded masculine energy”

“healing attachment styles”

advice for growing teenagers and young adults

***

parenting:

"you don't teach your children not to hit people by hitting them"

"gen z not taking sh*t from anybody"

gen x and millennial parents need to get help

***

affirmations:

Self assurance and inner alignment affirmations

Self love & self worth affirmations

divine feminine & divine masculine affirmations: Aug 21, 2023

***

dating/relationships:

"Marriage doesn’t just have to do with love/Women get nothing for marrying for free" : hypergamy

"Loving someone how they want to be loved vs. Loving them the way you want to love them"

“Differentiating between steady boundaries and self -sabotaging as a trauma response: how to identify & what to do”

“Your anger is the part of you that knows your mistreatment."

people pleasers

"love isn’t enough to make a relationship work"

"Rules for Navigating Men That Aren’t The One" (this is a really old post,but it falls under the category)

“What it means to love unconditionally & accept people for who they are”

“Healing attachment styles”

“When people say “please stop saying choose better or stop telling us to choose better because you know men pretend to be someone completely different in the beginning and then change.””

***

divine feminine/divine masculine:

"Broken femininity is generational trauma"

"cancer moon placements & the mother"

"Marriage doesn’t just have to do with love/Women get nothing for marrying for free" : hypergamy

 "divine feminine in a twin flame connection: the best thing you can do for your divine masculine is keep loving yourself more"

divine feminine & divine masculine affirmations: Aug 21, 2023

“divine feminine & learning to transmute energy: introduction”

“Whatever you give a woman she will multiply it & give it back”

wounded feminine energy vs wounded masculine energy

““A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek him just find her."”

twin flames, soul mates, & karmics:

"divine feminine in a twin flame connection: the best thing you can do for your divine masculine is keep loving yourself more"

"separation & no contact in high level soul connections"

"is it possible to have increase of sexual energy before meeting your twin flame?"

"some twin flame connections could be toxic and can be hard to deal with, is this true?"

***

I believe that’s it guys, well not all of it ofc there are post I left out that were just little thoughts and think pieces I had that weren’t really all that relevant but most of anything important or sought after is right here. I’d like to say, that some of posts are really old and my format and theme was completely different so when and if you click on them and they look extremely foreign or aren’t well executed that’s why, I’ve been running this blog since 2020/2021, thank you. 💋

***

My social media platforms:

Instagram:

Main: @cooki3face_

tarot acc: @cookiefacetarot

Tiktok:

@cooki3face

***

about me post ❤️

Last updated: Friday, February 9, 2025 @ 2:35 pm

[disabledunitypunk]

What is unitypunk?

Unitypunk is a disabled subculture encompassing other movements like cripplepunk, neuropunk, madpunk, and pluralpunk, as well as other movements like the anti-psych, pro-delusion, and pro-self-diagnosis movements. It's focus is on building a single, disability-justice-focused coalition; a united face against all kinds of ableism

To this end, the movement rejects gatekeeping of terms and talking about experiences based on having the "right" diagnoses or the right "kinds" of diagnoses. It is focused on assuming good faith, on people's similar experiences being shared in turn as a way of saying "I understand, and stand by you", on pulling up chairs rather than building up walls.

This is partly in response to small but vocal minorities within the community who insist that their experiences are entirely unique to their diagnosis or type of disability, and that disabled folks of other kinds are not welcome in their conversations about disability justice. This flies in the face of intersectional anti-ableism, and as I and other physically disabled neurodivergent people have noted, often leaves us unable to talk about a full half of our experiences.

The foundation of unitypunk is that the brain and body are inextricably interconnected - all physical organs that are interdependent on one another - and that while for some the symptoms of physical and psychological disabilities may be entirely separate or different, for others they are impossible to differentiate or functionally the same. The gut is the second brain. The body keeps the score (of trauma). Where in your body do you hold your emotions? The mind-body connection. All commonly used phrases when talking about disability, all illustrating this connection.

A psychological condition may be physically disabling. Autism can cause significant mobility issues. Anxiety can cause cardiac issues. Something like agoraphobia may cause someone to become as effectively housebound as someone with mobility issues and an inaccessible door. A physical condition may also be psychologically disabling. Absorption issues in the gut, particularly in regards to vitamins D and B12, can wreak havoc on the brain. Thyroid and adrenal/endocrine issues are one of the first things tested when seeking a mental health diagnosis. And of course, chronic illness can cause depression, anxiety, and trauma. Whether direct or indirect, the effects are the same; a complexity to the manifestation of symptoms that cannot be neatly squared away into little boxes.

This movement recognizes that only by recognizing and celebrating the breadth and depth of that complexity will we be able to achieve true disabled community and solidarity. It prioritizes a united front over personal differences. You don't have to like the disabled person next to you, but we all have to put aside any petty squabbles and fight for each other, or go down together. This includes being intersectional and inclusive of all other identities, whether you understand them or not. This means not disparaging or writing off identities, and judging people for their actions, not their labels. It also means, while it's fine to make spaces focused on a specific aspect or kind of disability, that it's important to recognize that real life experiences are messy and won't always respect neat lines being drawn. This is especially true of the experiences of physically disabled neurodivergent people, who are multiply marginalized and deserve to have our experiences heard and respected.

The most important things you can do here are to talk, and to *listen*. This account, this *movement*, is just a starting line. The end goal is total disabled liberation, and the only way we will get there is marching together.

[grendelsmilf]

to be honest i feel like seeing shauna's grief over losing the baby as separate from the grief over losing jackie is kind of missing the point. obviously shauna only got pregnant because she had sex with jackie's boyfriend because she was in love with jackie, so the baby is inextricable from her love for jackie, and the baby is a part of her in a way that is very similar to how jackie is part of her (ie inside her). so she hates the baby because it is a physical manifestation of her relationship to jackie, but she also loves the baby for the same reason. her dual resentment/devotion that she feels towards jackie manifests in her feelings towards motherhood, and so it makes sense that she would want the baby to be healthy against all odds, as some sort of consolation prize for all her grief and suffering, as some way to honor jackie's memory, bringing new life into the world. and i think something about the way lottie talked about the baby specifically made shauna even more protective over it, to the point where her greatest fear isn't even that the baby won't survive, but that the baby will survive but lottie will steal it. and it's ironic that shauna is afraid of the rest of the group betraying her and cannibalizing her baby, because obviously shauna is the one who starts the cannibalism, and it is with her go ahead that everyone eats jackie. so i think her hallucination regarding the baby is not exactly literal, but rather is a manifestation of her guilt and grief regarding jackie through this vessel that does primarily represent her complicated love for jackie. so to classify her relationship to motherhood as a different motivation for her trauma response in the present day than her relationship to jackie ignores the major thread connecting both of those griefs, which in actuality is simply one larger grief that she is suffering over and over again.

[lovely-oh-so-lovelyyui]

Reiji - House of Chanel

Inherently, I think this went well especially with Chanel being such a traditional fashion house but also with its very feminine undertones. In comparison to some of the others, calling Chanel Reiji’s brand was more symbolic than realistic but I’ll explain.

Chanel in all its years since 1910’s has the same iconic look, the tweed structured suits, and the armoured corset dresses with delicate but impactful embellishments. It makes sense for Reji, he has this blunt yet sophisticated personality which physically manifests in his clothes; always well put together, tailored and steamed.

His suits may change but they maintain the same composition and colour palette, to the untrained eye they don’t look different but if you look closely he pays a lot of attention to what he wears.

He’s aware even as a vampire he still has the face of an 18 year old boy, there’s still that youthfulness present in his face, he makes up for it by wearing glasses he doesn’t really need but they highlight the aristocratic cutting of his face - with his sharp upturned nose, and bright red eyes.

He doesn't have his mother’s curls or his father’s pin straight hair but rather a wavy touch to his locks, he knows how it makes him look when it’s down, younger, softer …gentle and that’s just despicable! So he carefully styles his hair with mousse slicking it back, making him look more stern.

Reiji is also a lot more sensitive ( he’s a fussy, whiny little rich brat), so he can’t stand pungent smells ( blood, guts, drugs), that doesn’t mean he makes excuses to lose his composer so he has this strong cologne that is like sandalwood and kind of fruity? Like winter berries and tea leaves or something no one expected it to smell so good but he makes it work. Not to mention his hygiene is always top tier, so he has this freshly washed cotton and minty undertone. 

So that's his main style right? So I was in between Dior and Chanel - and Chanel won of course 

Mainly I mentioned before Chanel has more feminine undertones which I think expands well with Reiji’s complex relation with his brothers; whilst the misogynistic response to his trauma is still present he almost takes on a maternal role towards his family as much of the fandom has noticed - the reasons as why he does this is quite ironic actually. In his entirety, the persona of someone being capable is important for him, if he cannot be successful in maintaining - not only his family's name and reputation through the dictatorship of his brothers - how he holds himself in public how does he expect to be King?

Yet, all the care and attention to detail he gives is almost seen as motherly. The sheer unseriousness of it is not lost on me, even with all the rampant comments on the inferiority of women within the Sakamaki Home, the most well-adjusted and competent man is seen as feminine.

In other readings of Reiji though his feminine undertones are more purposeful, they come from the fact that him and Shu are perpendicular to one another because of Shu’s immense strength being seen as this "laid back protector archetype" as intrinsically masculine so Reiji’s more mentally vulnerable, cunning, shrewd approach is seen as more feminine ;dissect that how you will. My favourite though is Reiji picking up on etiquette by copying his mother who was a figurehead for women in the vampiric society.

Also reflected in Coco Chanel who is  like, not a nice woman but she did have her moments - a cause for much scandal was her pioneering for trousers and women's athletic wear believe it or not, she was a big equestrian ( is that not the most Reiji sport ever?) and encouraged women to wear equestrian kits. 

I think this also goes really well with his character in terms of politics, the synonymous nature of being a traditionalist yet paving the way is a part of Reji. He very strongly believes in the House of Sakamaki and what it stands for but he also like his father wishes to further vampiric society from it’s barbarism; in some ways he is a cultural snob but in others he’s quite attentive to the the silver lining that maintains modernism and the old ways.

The House of Channel also does this; it has always had its roots cemented in the old ways of aristocratic luxury items, but unlike many other fashion houses it does try to adapt to the changing times sometimes successfully, others not so successfully.

On a less serious note, in general I think it suits his aesthetic as well; as I’ve mentioned the iconic Chanel suits, but also the Corsets? Like Reiji is a big corset man I don’t care what anyone says, the timeless figure of archive Chanel pieces, the monotone colour scheme of darker colours. Moreover, even the chic pieces take inspiration from old money outfits: the arranged tulle of the Victorian era, the heavy contrast, the heavy gold pieces and brooches.

In comparison to Reiji’s fashion, with his fitted suits and tiny waist with the chain of his watch fob, as well as heavy contrast colours: blacks, reds, whites and navy’s. 

Also the chunky jewellery makes sense in my head, it’s like masterfully placed so it doesn’t overwhelm him but I think the jewellery Reiji has includes: obviously the different chains for his antique watch, but also chunky rings seem more his thing than thin ones especially ones with carefully placed family jewels (rubies, emerald's, obsidians - as I said: snob) , this would do for more traditional attire too. 

His outfits in the demon world definitely include brooches, and chains and pendants to embellish his outfit, eye makeup isn’t a big thing for him because it’s so fussy but he would definitely do darker eye makeup to bring out his eyes. He’s quite theatrical, and definitely plays into the ashy white vampire skin ( this is the skin of a killer Bella).

Overall, I refuse to believe he does casual clothing- like Reiji in sweats ( esp the juicy couture ones ) is a horrendous image. So yeah Reiji is a Chanel girl!

Also I can’t believe I completely forgot this but in the beginning Coco Chanel was overlooked by the media, in terms of her designs in the beginning of career because of a little brand called Polo…owned by Ralph Lauren that was also making athletic wear but also quite good friends with Coco Chanel 

It’s almost like A certain someone who I said represented Ralph Lauren (Shu) overshadowing Chanel at first before she split off to make her own name.

[raayllum]

One of the things I love most about Claudia is, quite frankly, how steadily and consistently Fucked Up she is, for lack of a better term. She comes up with the switching spell (an early sign she’ll surpass her father as a dark mage) but unlike Viren, can’t understand Harrow’s reservations about it. Which makes sense, as dark magic is inherently transactional as viewpoint. This ties into her wanting to take Runaan prisoner to be dark magic parts (“Yes! [Dark magic] is clever, it’s brilliant, it’s practical!”) not realizing that in terms of viewpoints, she has a lot more in common with the elf than differences. She lights Harrow’s body on fire with dark magic (reminiscent of using Sarai’s last breath for the vengeance spell she never would’ve approved of) with the framing aligning her with Viren to boot. 

She believes that Rayla could never be a good person because 1) she’s a Moonshadow elf and therefore just isn’t a person (or worth exceptionalizing as one yet) and 2) “She kidnapped you and Prince Ezran, how can she be good?” when Claudia is going to attempt to kidnap the boys the very next episode, but in her mind this is somehow salvageable, because it’s Necessary, isn’t it? It’s what her father wants.

But even her father’s dead set wishes aren’t a steady foundation, as Claudia has a habit of steamrolling over what her family wants when it’s things that might separate them from one another. She won’t let Viren let go, she won’t believe Soren about the princes when Viren offers up a solution that lets her keep her whole family together rather than having to choose her brother over her father, even if that means harming her brother. And she steamrolls because she thinks by physically fixing the problem (Viren’s death, Soren’s paralysis) the emotional issues (Viren’s trauma and panic attacks, Soren’s epiphanies) won’t continue to manifest; of course Soren mis-listened, of course Viren can go up the mountain. Never mind the consequences, never mind the pain; she fixed it. What’s the problem? (And of course, this sense of perfectionist preparation - “Gee Claudia, you’re so prepared, you’re the best” - alongside her smugness - “Wasn’t taking down a dragon one of your life goals?” isn’t sustainable or healthy for her either. We see how she panics and loses it when she isn’t prepared for a situation, and how the desperation drives her down deeper into the dark.) 

Even after Callum begs for her to let them go and after attacking Ezran multiple times, upon being a prisoner in her own home Claudia mandates that “We didn’t do anything wrong” (which is a far cry from Rayla’s response to her homecoming: “But you didn’t run. They have it all wrong” “Does it matter?”). Where Soren begins to question and defect, knowing his truth, he works to get Ezran out of jail whereas Claudia is conflicted but ultimately able to justify leaving him there, and able to justify staying when Soren leaves. With two years of only Aaravos in her ear, she’s gotten even worse, even more prejudiced against elves and dragons than she was before, save for her exceptions (Terry, Aaravos). And if even Terry is calling her out on her cruelty, and admitting that she did terrible things, then you know they were probably pretty awful for an elf who doesn’t bat an eye at his girlfriend slaughtering baby animals (hi puffer bats and baby deer). 

And at the same time, it’s not as though Claudia isn’t goofy and loving and compassionate. She loves ancient ruins and cuddling with dogs, she does feel some kind of way about seeing Callum again, she doesn’t just cut Terry loose when his life is put in danger and it’d be easier too - she genuinely loves him. Like I said all the way in the first few months after S2: 

I’d also like to say that this does not mean Claudia will not be redeemed. She does love people, has the possibility of using magic (Dark or otherwise) for good, would do anything for her brother (although only S3 and time can tell), and could be a reformed, more compassionate, fully rounded and loving person in the future.

Redemption is not out of the cards for her, whatsoever.

It’s just going to be a very long and hard road to get there.

[pinkeoni]

Theory: The Upside Down is Will’s Original Hiding Spot

“He’s good at hiding.”

In season one, One (either through himself physically or through a demogorgon he controlled) destroyed Castle Byers, which was Will’s final hiding spot and last safe space.

Symbolically, this is meant to show how this experience has literally destroyed his childhood, he no longer has a safe space because no space will ever feel safe again.

However, I think this instance of One destroying Will’s hiding spot might be indicative of a more literal meaning as well.

So atp I’m fairly confident that Will has been connected to the Upside Down since way before One ever kidnapped him, which is why he went after him in the first place.

The Upside Down was Will’s original hiding spot, and One took it over in the same way he destroyed Castle Byers.

I’ll explain:

So in season one Jonathan keeps repeating that Will is good at hiding. And he was hiding— in the Upside Down.

It’s implied that the reason Will is so good at hiding was because of his dad. But once he left, Will no longer needed to hide and Castle Byers became his new safe space. Jonathan even tells Hopper that Will used to hide in Castle Byers.

Now this kinda contradicts what I just said, but it’s also important to note that Castle Byers didn’t go up until after Lonnie left. Before that, Will would have lacked a safe space for himself to go.

So what I’m proposing is that Will had a safe space before Castle Byers, and that space was the Upside Down.

I’m not saying that Will would go through a gate every time he needed to hide from his dad, rather this would work in a similar way to his true sight ability in season two. Will’s physical body would be in the in the Rightside Up, but he would physically manifest in the Upside Down as well. While the real world was dangerous, his consciousness would take him somewhere safe. We know that Will was physically in the Upside Down since the Mind Flayer was able to physically enter his body. We didn’t see the particles in the field where he was possessed, it was able to enter his body because he was actually there too.

So let’s say, for example, Lonnie would come home drunk and start getting violent. Will might find somewhere actually in the house to hide, for example a cabinet, but then as an extra protective measure his powers would bring him to the Upside Down and away from danger.

I think this would be akin to some kind of short-term dissacociation, which is basically a defense mechanism for traumatic situations that are hard to get away from.

This article also attributes dissociating to the freeze response, which is stated in the show to be Will’s fear response.

I don’t think Will was ever conscious of doing this, and he was probably so small when it was happening that he didn’t process what was really going on. Rather, I think this ability is triggered by extreme fear, more specifically fear of his father. In fact, I think this ability might be how Will actually went into the Upside Down in episode one. One was able to trigger a fear response so powerful that Will teleported into the Upside Down. And since the gate was open, all of Will went inside. I think this might be why he brought an impression of Hawkins with him. Kinda like a pinhole in a camera obscura, the moment that Will phased into the UD he brought with him an image of the town at that exact moment.

Now, in season two, Will does not go completely into the UD, despite the gate being open. This is because the Soteria is likely in his neck at this point, greatly supressing his powers. Furthermore, One had some control over when this was happening, although I do think he was amplifying it using Will’s emotions. I think there’s a reason he decided to do this during the anniversary of Will’s trauma.

An important part of this theory is Castle Byers, more specifically when and why it was built. Jonathan says in s2 that they built it the night dad left. As I hypothesized before, Will was phasing into the Upside Down because of his dad specifically, but then Castle Byers became his new safe space. As such, he wouldn’t need to phase into the UD, leaving an opening for someone to take it over.

We never get an exact date for when Lonnie left, but we know that it was some time before the events of s1. Furthermore, we don’t know how much time One was wandering around in the UD before he took it over, but it looks like he had been there for quite a while. I’m willing to bet that Lonnie left either before One took over the UD, meaning that Will wouldn’t have been occupying it and leaving a space for One to easily take it over.

This echoes exactly what One did to Castle Byers at the end of season one: He destroyed Will’s safe space.

Another important facet is how Will was able to hear his mom through the Upside Down, but Joyce was not able to hear him. If you wanted to hide from someone, it’s important they not hear you. However, it would be important to listen for when the coast is clear. Maybe whenever Will hid, it was always temporary, because eventually his mother would always reassure him that everything was okay and make him feel safe.

When Will is in the Upside Down in season one, the fear never goes away. Now that One is in charge, the creatures there are after him, and no amount of hiding will allow him to feel safe. This is why he can’t teleport back, because he doesn’t feel safe. But still, he is able to harness the love he has for his mother and find a way to communicate through the lights.

I know this post is already very long but I’ll write out the timeline here:

When Will is younger Lonnie is an abusive shit. Whenever Will gets scared and hide his consciousness takes him to the Upside Down for safety. When Lonnie leaves Will no longer needs to do this and Castle Byers becomes his new safe spot. At some point between Lonnie leaving and the start of season 5, One takes over the Upside Down, effectively destroying Will’s sense of security both figuratively and literally. Will hides in the UD Castle Byers has his last safe spot and it’s After the events of season one, Will has a Soteria placed in his neck (either by One or by Owens) which filters his teleporting abilities and comes through as True Sight.

[hype-blue-fixation]

Alastor's Family Headcannons/Breakdown + Predictions

These have been plaguing me for a while and I've done way too much history research

Family Life

Based on what Viv has said, Al is an only child and his race doesn't play into his story. Therefore, I think that the majority of his story and trauma are related to his family, WW1, the Great Depression, and just being mistreated by others in power. I have a whole thing about the war, guilt, radios (oh my!) but I will save those for another post.

The roaring 20's were an interesting time, because most Americans enjoyed a high quality of life and then were lined up at soup kitchens in the span of a decade. Al's family was probably no different. He knows what it's like to live with affluence, and he knows what it's like to beg for food. Especially if he was too young for the army draft, he would've been able to be by his mom's side at her richest and poorest. See life through the female perspective, in a time where women had been seen as a commodity for men and just now proving their worth as a valuable part of the workforce. This is why he's far more sympathetic toward women but doesn't give men ANY excuses.

Father Relationship

This is the one I'm really excited to talk about lol. So while American men of the time did legitimately love their wives, there was also this entitlement attitude. If you're a good fella, you deserve a good woman. Toxic masculinity ran rampant, leading to a lot of emotionally challenged men. Their self-worth was tied to how well they could provide for their families. I personally think that Al's dad suffered with some kind of anger disorder and probably some generational trauma. But, being a product of his time, he internalized all this stress instead of facing it, especially when times got hard and he couldn't do all the things a man ought to do. So while he did legitimately love his family and want to be a good husband, it manifested in verbal abuse, exerting control over his family, and sometimes even physical abuse. Because of this, Alastor has a natural mistrust/hate for any man who exerts control over others, while ironically becoming this type of man himself. He just wants to think he's better than that. It can also explain why Al is so amused by the concept of redemption. He saw his own dad, who legitimately wanted to be a better man, constantly try and fail. His dad was a product of his place and time, and no amount of "wanting to be better" was good enough. Add in the factor of war: Al's dad had this positive "I'll be home before Christmas" attitude and everything would be alright. And then crap hit the fan, worse became worst, and whatever effort Al's dad was making before was just non-existent. Completely and totally consumed by anger and hatred, and his family taking the brunt of it. Alastor's very first murder came shortly after.

Predictions

Here's some predictions for how Alastor's dad can be handled in the show, and I'm honestly down for any of them being cannon.

Alastor being responsible for both of his dad's deaths. They meet up in Hell during an extermination. His dad would be begging for forgiveness and second chances, but Al cold-heartedly shoves him out and watches him get stabbed.

Dad becomes an overlord, but never shows up to any of the meetings because he doesn't want to confront his son. At some point he decides to give redemption one last try at the hotel, but Al gives him absolute HELL the entire way and refuses to forgive him.

While he didn't make the best decisions, Al's dad truly did want redemption and to do the right thing. This was enough to get him into Heaven, and Alastor finds out about this at some point and CAN NOT process HOW his father got into Heaven, or how he's responsible for sending him there. Bro can't cope.

[morgana-ren]

Kindly requesting that you elaborate on the hard dom thing, please. I love your writing!

Since I previously elaborated on why I believe he's a hard-dom, I'll use this as the second part of it and explain what he does and what he prefers in terms of... er... shall we call it 'bedroom etiquette' while skirting a lot of the dirtier details-- unless that's what you were looking for lmao. I'm never opposed to writing filth ever, I just like to make sure it's exactly what you're looking for before I send it.

Astarion is still capable of being quite charming and seductive, albeit not in the same desperate way that he was when it was a survival tool. Now it's more the suave moves of a man fully coming into his confidence. A man who knows what he wants and how to get it. He fully intends to have a relationship with his consort, with a lively and active sex life-- headed by him. Normal sex was something that he was denied. It was never his way, and even when he had a partner that loved and supported him, his traumas got in the way of a healthy intimate relationship. It was never a problem with Tav, but it's obviously something that he is insecure about, as evidenced by several lines when broaching the subject.

It's a man that knows the rules of intimacy well, and can maneuver that aspect remarkably well. You can feel like you have a choice and are being seduced, but in reality, the choice was never yours. You are being told what he expects. The more you push this 'kindness,' the more demanding he will get until he will simply force you to do it.

When he slips his hand around your waist and licks up your neck, whispering softly those well-practiced honeyed words, he knows well the effect it is going to have. You're going to get weak in the knees with a pulsing ball of heat building at the base of your spine.

But... that's where his expertise ends.

He is remarkably skilled at the physical aspect of sex, but keep in mind, it was always what his partner wanted. He was a glorified tool, never allowed to indulge himself with someone he wanted, what he wanted, and how he wanted it. Well, now he fully intends to.

He might ask you to do something, in a manner of speaking. When he says "On your knees, darling" he is offering you a choice. A choice that consists of "You will do this or I will make you." In reality, it's the same choice he had so long ago, which is to say, not really a choice at all.

He is still very much capable of pleasing his partner, as he knows the intricacies of sex and all it entails, but now, it is about him. What he wants. If you get something from him, you are likely being rewarded for obedience or loyalty, or he is manipulating you. I'm sure gifting pleasure is as effortless as breathing at this point, but it is no longer the point.

He may very well ask you for something that you do not want to do. Maybe it's humiliating, maybe it's painful, maybe it's just bizarre. Maybe it's very blatantly something that makes him feel like the big and powerful lord he is. It is something that you will do, because the alternative is having what little control you do have torn away from you. And he will do it. He makes that clear the first few times you have the audacity to tell him no.

Basically, I feel like Astarion is going to finally explore his sexual interests and inner depravities. Keep in mind, this is a deeply traumatized man, and trauma, when ignored, has a way of manifesting. It is a deeply obsessed, possessive man that just sold his soul to the Hells. The lack of control he had before might emerge as a need to be obeyed. He might become cruel and enjoy inflicting pain. He might enjoy eliciting a response from you, such as weeping or begging or squealing. He might enjoy humiliating you for sport and pleasure as a way of inflicting his own inner turmoil upon someone close to him.

He is going to experiment-- and you are going to help him.

If he tells you to kneel before his throne in plain view where anyone can walk in, it's best to just grin and bear it. If he 'finds the wrong hole,' again, you can make him aware, but you are running the risk of spiking is interest. If he wants to hurt you, you can pray that he will be semi-considerate and tend to you after. If it is a punishment, you can expect a level of cruelty that you never would have seen had he not been ascended.

Astarion is a man in pain, and when you take the humanity away, hurt people tend to hurt people. He demands control, and he demands obedience. Perhaps he will tell you to do something simply to test whether or not you will. Just how far your loyalty to him extends. Perhaps he will hurt you, whether it's striking you or biting too hard or squeezing so hard it manages to bruise, and you might find that the wires in his brain have been crossed, and it's arousal that this elicits.

Depending on how depraved he gets, you might be surprised at the things he asks. He might have a few... things... he demands to be called. He might like things that you had no idea a man could like, depending on just how imaginative you are. My guess is that you can bet on it being something that, in a way, victimizes you and leaves you at his mercy.

Perhaps he starts out easy. Fairly generic sex with his name and things you know he likes. But rest assured, it will get far more... degenerate... and rapidly. And he will tell you what he wants with a smile on his face, body language expectant and relaxed, already anticipating your swift action. Now that he is capable of taking that pleasure, he fully intends to.

Astarion, in his ascension, has a terrible relationship with sex. Same as it was for him, it is a punishment that he will use to enact his will and teach you a lesson. It is something that he uses to assert his dominance and take his pleasure, perhaps regardless of what you have to say about it. Remember, he is the lord of the castle. You are his loyal consort. Your body is his. Your mind is his. If he wants to abuse them, he will-- and he shall. Both for his pleasure, and your obedience-- or maybe humiliation.

I have no doubt he is into some things that are utterly wild. Maybe he finds whole new parts of himself. Maybe he gets very strange with the names he likes. Honestly, I can see almost anything working with him. I could literally twist anything into being something he's into. That's the bittersweet positive to Ascended Astarion. You want him to spank you and make you call him daddy? I could see it. You want him to choke you or slap you or tie you up and go by big brother or professor or master or literally anything else? I could see it. Maybe he gets some exotic new tastes. Maybe you walk into the bedroom one day and he's sitting there with a placid smile and some very ominous looking things lying about. Maybe it's a knife. Maybe it's a candle. Maybe it's a whip. Maybe you spend the next four hours partaking in the most humiliating thing of your life while he is utterly gleeful. His body and soul have been twisted and submerged into the black stygian waters of depravity.

It comes with the 'beholden to the hells' territory.

[masp161]

Astro Observations #1

These are my personal observations, they may not resonate for everyone so pls dw and don't be mad if that's the case :)

🖤🥀 I feel like nobody ever talk much about Lilith in the eighth house and the fact that having that one placement is one of the most hardcore and traumatizing to have. People with Lilith in the eighth house, for most of them, may have had to endure emotional and sexual abuse/trauma at a young age and get to remember it forever

🌊 A lot of Pisces Mars are submissive yet underestimated people : sexually, they will know how to make you take pleasure, they will submit to your desires and they will toy with you through this. But aside of this, their underestimated repressed anger is something to be wary of, they lash it out on you through toying with you psychologically

♥️ I've witnessed a lot of Eighth House Venuses go through many failed relationship that somehow ended because of abuse, cheating, secrets, or possessiveness/jealousy, which are some traits of the eighth house

💔Any Gemini placement is somehow related to loneliness, and I feel like the planet can show exactly where or how the loneliness began to manifest

(For example, Gemini Jupiters may have grown with a lot of neglect or rejection growing up, causing to vainly try to fit socially elsewhere or lie to themselves and "accept" their loneliess then deny it. Gemini moons feel emotionally misunderstood. Gemini suns feel like no one ever look into who they are or appreciate them for who they really be. Sorry not sorry)

🔊Virgo/Gemini mercury are both very straightforward and 'honest' Mercurials, aside for the fact that Virgo choses their words wisely depending off the situation (if they're mad, they're gonna be sharp and acid in the way they're gonna speak to you, so be careful) meanwhile Gemini will tend to listen/learn or observe/analyze your insecurities and your likings then sting/manipulate, if they want to

☀️Leo Sun/Venus/Mars are most of the time either Top or Bottom, rarely a switch. They will also want to be the main character during the deed OR make you feel like the main character

💭The Asteroid Narcissus can tell a lot about where your needs have been neglected and where they subconsciously show, where you need to take pride in this without bragging

💭NOTHING will ever change my mind on the thought that most Moon Opposite Neptune people, especially unevolved or with unresolved trauma, will create a fake scenario in their head which they will believe in when their life gets out of control, especially emotionally, or when life doesn't go the way they want to. And the worst part is, it will only affect them, like spreading a rumor but only to themselves

🩸Pluto Square Mars will most likely be victims of abuse, especially mental and physical, and as a trauma response, will grow with a low self-esteem, and a tendency to develop bad habits based on the type of abuse they've gone through. In spite of this, they will find somehow inspiration in their trauma and use it as a way out, even temporarily

💙 So the Sun and Saturn are both connected to fatherly figures but I feel like Neptune is also connected to that, but more in a soft, emotional or spiritual way. So for example, Neptune in the fourth house could be representative of a passive/absent/addictive father (this is theoretical)

😍 ANY Gemini placement has an inherent attraction to Sagittarius placements. I can't exactly comprehend why. For example a single Gemini placement like Mercury will somehow find an interest in a person with one or many Sagittarius placements, and feel an obsession for them. That's crazy

💕Kind of obvious but every opposites have something to teach to the other

Aries - Libra (Aries will teach carelessness and individuality to Libra placements; Libra placements will teach balance and important of relationships/being two or many to Aries)

Virgo - Pisces (Virgo will teach Pisces how to be logical and think earthly, care about details; Pisces will teach Virgo to be less in the worry, dream and see the big image)

...

💥People with opposites/contradictory signs in their big three have higher chances of living in denial, have mental breakdowns or personality searching tendencies

As a result, someone with a Cancer sun/Capricorn moon will be destabilized when it comes to how to handle things, and most of the time will go with shutting everything and going logical or ask for advice

❓When Capricorn moons finally get to feel something, especially intensely, they tend to stop and analyze it like it's a first timer feeling. That is because they most of the time have grown to be an outcast or somebody people wanted them to be, causing them to be robotically emotional, leading to not knowing what genuine emotions is like

🔪 Libras are underrated dangerous people, and you can't change my mind. If you think they're a balanced sign, you can poke your eye because that's a cover. In truth they're barely holding on, and when you make their final straw, they will not hesitate to pull a knife out. Y'all lucky they know how to contain themselves.

💼You just have no idea how much someone with a Cap sun - Taurus Lilith has an immense fear of failure. It's like a depression to them. A severe one

💧Any Cancer placement has a manipulative side, and I genuinely think the planet can show in what way they manipulate

📙Aquarius Venuses will try to give a look/interest in anything people show them, but if you really wanna get to their heart, you gotta go with taboo, very unknown or philosophical/unique subjects. That's almost a reason why Aqua and Sag Venus could possibly get along very much

🥀 Hardly anyone (there still can be some people) will ever come close to experiencing as much trauma and self-doubt as well as self hatred than a Scorpio Moon/Rising, especially unevolved. But once they evolve, they become one of the wisest people you'll know

🫱 I feel like Aries/Virgo/Cancer/Libra Jupiters have the worst savior complex. Although each's motivations vary

Savior complex the meaning of, they will absolutely feel the need to help anyone they meet that struggle somewhere, even if they don't know or understand the thing they're struggling about. They just help.

❗Sagittarius/Virgo/Gemini placements, especially Mercury, somehow always know how to help. You just give them a problem and they will figure out a solution to make it work, even if the solution makes absolutely no sense, it will still work

~~~ That's all for now ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don't hesitate if you wanna comment about this or add sth :)

[crisiscutie]

Wow.. the discussion whether Sephiroth can be redeemed or not getting more serious than I thought.

I personally think Sephiroth can be redeemed and can change his view over time, BUT maybe not during Cloud's life time. Remember, Sephiroth technically immortal. His Jenova cells make him unable to integrate with the Lifestream. Though I doubt we will see much change in FF7 game, but lore wise... he will have plenty of time to change his mind. Cloud and friends will die eventually, but Sephiroth will be reborn over and over.

And while I agree Aerith has trauma of herself, she didn't experience the sense of betrayal Sephiroth had. Remember, Sephiroth in a sense, has been betrayed by his own friends (Angeal and Genesis) in Crisis Core. Dunno what will happen in Ever Crisis, but I'll left those out for the moment. This is why the first thing on his mind when Zack confronted him, he rant about human beings are traitors ( Shinra Mansion event). I know he conflated it with the ancient betrayed by human because he thinks he's ancient during this period of time. But he projected it into his own experience.

Secondly, I have to disagree with anon who said Tseng assaulted Aerith and you who said her support circle is limited. She actually has many than we perceive. Tseng and the Turks never assaulted Aerith. They treat her with respect, and protecting Aerith in their own way because they has to follow their own orders. So Aerith only hatred is Hojo, not the whole Shinra. She fell in love with Zack, a kind hearted but naive Shinra SOLDIER. The Turks who supposed to bring her back, are protecting and respect her boundaries nonetheless. Also, Zack never betrays her, only MIA. This is a different kind of loss from the way Sephiroth was betrayed by his friends.

Shinra executives themselves (except Reeves) seen both Sephiroth and Aertih as tools. In this part, they are the same.

Lastly, I don't think Aerith is burdened with her power (maybe normal human being see it that way, but not her). Being able to communicate with spirits or nature itself, she felt less lonely and able to understand other beings (ghost, flowers, etc) and make her become much more emphatetic. The whole world support her. This is the opposite of Sephiroth's power where his physical prowess doesn't help him in understanding emotions and the world Gaia itself rejects him due to his Jenova cells, although he already try hard to be as human as he can be.

So, I would arguably say Sephiroth has worse luck than Aerith in term of support system. His parent figure is Hojo (need I say more?), while Aertih has a loving Ifalna and Elmyra. Sephiroth grew up with propaganda and war, Aerith grew up with hardships but surrounded by people who love her (Elmyra, people at the slums, orphans, etc). Sephiroth betrayed by his friends, Aerith has her enemies respecting and protecting her.

So the different outcome of Sephiroth and Aertih is actually understandable because of their situations and how they were raised.

AC happened not too long after the original game, but Sephiroth still had time to think things through. Instead, he spends this time being furious at Cloud and everything else. He and Jenova are responsible for Geostigma an excruciating disease that doesn't get enough "holy shit" points for how terrible it is. It especially likes to target mentally weak people, especially children. Oh, and Sephiroth got rid of most of his memories in the Lifestream, but he only kept the ones that make him angry and full of hatred so he wouldn't lose his consciousness. I think it's even said that he is the physical manifestation of the negative Lifestream. That is probably a good sign that he won't change. And if the theory that 7R Sephiroth is AC Sephiroth traveling back in time is right, well, that only solidifies it.

As for Aerith: In the original FF7, Tseng hits her for simply sharing the news about Marlene's security. This scene was removed in 7R, but the point remains is that the Turks still blackmailed and kidnapped Aerith. Under normal circumstances and with her free will, Aerith would never willingly return to Shinra with them. While she may not view Reno and Rude as bad since they're doing their job, she's still probably wary of them. But I did not see her boundaries being respected by them or Shinra at any point. Well, besides them not stepping on her flowers, which is a nice plus in their favor.

Nevertheless, I stand by my belief that Aerith endured much trauma and yet managed to maintain her kind and caring nature. I'll concede to you about her powers. And your perspective on Gaia rejecting Sephiroth is interesting. I've never thought of it like that before, but it does make sense. In CC, he wanted to rule the planet, but in FF7, he wanted to harm it. During that time in the Lifestream, Jenova was the only one who accepted him. He knew that the planet and Lifestream rejected him. So now, his loyalty lies solely with her. Always knew Sephy took rejection poorly.