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#knows for a damn fact i wasnt out here doing whatever weird fucked up shit theyre probably accusing me of now
snekdood · 1 year
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Its wild to me that theres probably people out there that think im someone who needs to be educated on misogyny n shit bc of whatever my ex says, as if "snake" the character wasnt intentionally a joke character- like mj picks on him ALL THE TIME for his dumb misogynistic beliefs n shit, and its literally always fucking been that way, lol
#do i have to perform and pretend to go through the learning process of understanding what misogyny is again#just to appease you weirdos who assume the worst of me bc you dont have a frame by frame of my lofe so you hear whatever bs my ex#says and think im just some guy fiddling my hands in a dark room somewhere scheming on how to be evil next sjskks#like yall i grew up on here. we can keep pretending that you dont remember that but i do.#i learned about all the feminist shit on here. and bc i was raised as if i was a girl i grew up already with the experience of this shit#like. how disingenous do you have to fucking be. ik plenty of the ppl in the old fandom i was in#knows for a damn fact i wasnt out here doing whatever weird fucked up shit theyre probably accusing me of now#yall watched me reblog feminist shit all the time. but when its time to throw me into the mud all the sudden you have memory loss i guess.#i dont need to be taught all over again because i already know everything. i put on an act online because i think its FUNNEY.#i think pretending to be a jerkass misogynist guy is FUNNEY bc ive been around ppl like that my whole life so ik how to emulate them#pretty fuckin well and idk i just think its funney to act like a shitty dipshit dudebro#sue me#how self unaware do you think i am and also why did you let my ex convince im that self unaware bc jfc#no i dont know everything but i feel like im fuckin good rn dude. like it seems like theres ppl who think theyre leaps ahead of me in#understanding these concepts bc they told themselves that i spent time on the shitty websites like 4chan or whatever and only *just*#started getting into feminist concepts but no dude!!! ive been looking through this fucking lens since 2011!!!????!?!?!!?!!!!????#i was problematic in ways back then sure but i didnt suddenly regress entirely just bc i was being problematic in one specific way#bc i was raised w the idea it was fine and okay like. everything just *has* to be black and white huh.#i just *have* to be someone whos scheming or whatever. but like. ever since i was fucking 14???? you sure??????#you sure i had the mental emotional intellectual and physical capacity to know to do all that shit and plan all that shit like?????????#im tired lol#please i beg of you. if you think i spent time on sites like 4chan or reddit or whatever during the really Bad political times#please let me know so we can make a bet with money and you can go off and try to find any of those accounts and ill just sit here w my#feet kicked back. slowly and progressively laughing maniacally as you tirelessly and sweatily search for any possible sign of my#presence. muahahahhahahahahaaaa.#lol sorry. dont know what to tell ya. good luck though. ima use this hundo to buy some weed thankuuu#my usernames back in the day were forsakenspawn and chocomoomoo. also gone by snakiepoo. fosterinpeople. ive had all kinds of names#but any name ive had on deviantart doesnt matter as long as you type in forsakenspawn bc itll auto take you to my acct even tho#its a different name. yeah like. ive got nothing to hide yall lmao.#wont claim to be perfect but i wouldnt give you those usernames if i wasnt open about my past so..?
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The Omen (1976)
SPOILERS INCOMING!!
overall : ☆☆
concept : ☆☆☆☆
execution : ☆☆
characters : ☆☆☆
casting : ☆☆☆
coherency : ☆☆☆☆
spookiness : ☆
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BRIEF SUMMARY
Ambassador for the UK in the US has a child with his wife, the child dies in childbirth so they are given a baby who's mother died in childbirth to adopt without his wife knowing. Years later, things start to go a little bit off the rails, Damien (the child) is given a new nanny after the last one publicly hung herself at his 5th birthday party. The new nanny is a bit creepy and encourages Damien's evil tendencies(?) Animals are frightened of the child, and his mother begins to believe there is somwthing wrong with her son. A Camera man that frequents through the movie sees that his images are prophetic towards death, when he takes images of the local creepy priest (of whom warns the main guy several times throughout the movie about many a thing.) The camera man and Damien's father discover that Damien is the son of satan, when finding the grave of his mother and discovering she was actually a wolf (somehow??). Damien causes his mother to have a miscarriage and his new evil nanny throws her out a window, killing her. its all super insane. Damien's father is supposed to try kill him but hes not very good at killing 5 year olds because the police kill him before he can do the job.
Damien looks into the camera evilly at the end.
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So as you can tell... theres a lot to cover here!!! Overall I give the movie a solid rating of... 2 stars!!! I'm quite a biased source considering I don't like old horror movies (that said, all movie reviews are biased), since I prefer a lot of newer technology for things like special effects etc etc. This in mind though, I just found the movie to be confusing and almost mind numbingly boring. There wasnt any frightening suspense, the only part that made me jump was the original death of the first nanny- and even then it was just shock value. It was like being a 9 year old and having to go to a car garage for your dad's MOT because you cant be left home alone; dull, tasteless and the only enjoyment comes from zoning out. And in true 70s horror movie fashion, you couldnt hear a fucking thing over the annoying ass 'suspenseful' music
And I feel a bit like an ass for feeling this way since people seem to hype this movie up like its some gift from the lord above, but be so for real... do you actually like this movie, or is it just old enough for it to make you feel like youre unique for liking it?
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The concept is cool, I'll give it that. The whole born antichrist thing has definitely been done a million times over, but I'll put some respect on it's name since it is technically the OG antichrist child plotline. However, the execution is questionable. It was dragged out, and it never elaborated on stuff. Why did the priest have the 666 birthmark?? why was the cameraman able to prophecise people's deaths when he had literally nothing to do with anything before hand??? why did everything start going to shit when Damien turned 5 specifically, youd think it would be when he turned 6, but whatever. The dogs are probably a metaphor for something, but they never made much sense outside of the fact its probably meant to have something to do with satan- which is also weird because why rottweilers?? congrats for giving perfectly loyal dogs a bad rep, The Omen, should have had them be chihuahuas instead, that would be damn scary.
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The characters!! Characters can make or break a story, this time however the characters... well, they were kind of just There. Outside of Damien, almost all characters are forgettable. I watched the movie YESTERDAY and I only remember the wife, Kathy's name- purely because its my nan's name and we thought it was funny. The main US ambassador lad fell into the trope of 'dad that makes stupid decisions and takes way too long to believe in the paranormal' way too much and just spent the entire film frustrating me- like when he got speared through the arm (which by the way, a gate would Not be sharp enough to skewer him like that) and the next day was just fine as if it never happened. He kept just rinsing the shit out of the poor priest who was just trying to warn him, in fact, I want justice for the priest- Damien is clearly a weird ass kid and the dude was just trying to warn him that his wife was in danger but noooo god FORBID someone criticise your darling boy who tricycled your wife into a miscarriage- which could have been AVOIDED if he wasnt such a stubborn piece of caca. Had this man just agreed to an abortion, she wouldnt have had to have been knocked down 2 stories. Hes casted terribly too, pirely because his wife is about 3 decades younger than him. I was half expecting him to drop her at high school somewhere throughout the movie, but it never happened; I get it was the 70s, but have some decorum??? Whatever happened to picking on someone your own age. He looks like what tar smells like, and I just dont get why señor tire mark gets to be with Miss Americana. But anyways... It's hard to sympathise with the main character when hes such a pain in the ass- somewhat realistically written, but he makes you want to piledrive your face into a metal beam at the best of times. The photographer man however, I like him, I can appreciate him even though he looks like every single one of The Beatles all at once. Though, its never mentioned why this cameraman is just all over the place, he really just follows them around which I mean yeah, the dad ambassador guy is famous, but at some points this dude was just taking pictures of whatever the fuck- what caused him to take the first picture of the priest?? what caused him to CONTINUE, why was he ever taking mirror selfies?? why did his death make me cackle. We'll never know, because its never explained. Damien I have nothing to say about, hes a silly little guy who is also a little bit unhinged. He's definitely cast well though, hes the most kid looking kid I've ever seen.
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Despite my millions of complaints, the movie is coherent- since I found it mind numbingly boring, I don't remember everything in enough details to list the entire plot out, nor do I have the patience too. Aside from that though, it makes sense. A lot of the events string together nicely and the pacing was pretty good, despite how far fetched it all was. Something that never made sense to me was the grave scene when they find Damien's bio mother and her skeleton was like some kind of wolf dog thing?? Me personally if I were a midwife and a wolf walked in, I'd probably have some second thoughts so god knows how THAT ever slid well. The baby skeleton made enough sense but I dont really know why the baby was killed when they could have just... put it up for adoption or something but whatever, I guess it is the devil or whatever.
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this movie wasnt scary.
I dont know WHY its hailed as some classic horror movie because truth be told, I never jumped once, i felt no sense of fear or suspense, and the fact my 50 year old mother was able to watch it without shitting bricks says enough about how tame it is. Theres some REALLY good old horror movies (even I could admit that) but this? this makes them ALL look bad. This movie is the Firkle from south park of classic horror movies, a literal fucking toddler amongst intimidating older kids- not that I've ever found gothic 10 year olds intimidating, but you get my jist. My mother had nightmares about this movie once- when she was 6 years old. The scare factor was like Scream, where its technically a horror, but it's not scary at all- difference being that Scream is a really good movie, and The Omen is just... not.
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Overall, my ranking remains at 2 stars- this movie was a sorta weird one to start with since for some reason I didn't have a LOT to nitpick, but its the most recent movie I watched thats fresh in my mind, so it gets a review while I'm motivated. No caiman footnote because I dont think hes watched this, and i cba to ask properly
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lesbiangallagher · 3 years
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why do you hate bioshock infinite so much
oooo yay long post ahead
i'm not like a professional reviewer nor did i actually play the game myself due to the fact that i do not like playing video games all that much. most of the reason is due to my perfectionism gene that causes me to spend way too much time on any one thing until i'm an expert at it which makes me very stressed...so my gf shannon@emkaniff played all of the bioshock games for me over the past 2 months or so. shannon has played all of the games multiple times before and i looove watching ppl play games! i love bioshock 2, that is the apex. so the reasons i don't like bioshock infinite was because it was imo it didn't feel like bioshock. idk anything about why they made this game or for what reason they decided that it was absolutely needed for canon. maybe for the fourth game or whatever to introduce alternative universes or w/e? but i can think of 247893283 ways to have made it actually worth it without leaving a place that we still could learn about, especially with an ending like that...like surely there's more to rapture, like even the video diaries alone are wild interesting and i would love to see a first player with something like that from an alternate universe or something. like idk i am very sore that it wasnt build on top of something that already exists...i miss rapture, there i said it!! i loved the big daddies and little sisters and that's where i thought bioshock infinite was going to tie to in a more legit and solid way with the songbird or even booker and elizabeth. but as soon as i saw booker in that baptism garb i was like oh i see what's going on here and i was so mad because it would have been amazing to tie something to rapture. honestly the ending just felt like a slap in the face, like seriously there is SO MUCH combat. i can't believe shannon played this shit on the normal setting, i would have quit 20 minutes in. also personal thing but i had to close my eyes for the skyline stuff, it made me feel weird and too high in the air. i know columbia is literally in the sky but just a personal thing. i would be remiss if i didn't mention good old colonial and violently racist columbia...again it just felt like one note of meh re: the ending bc as soon as booker went under, i just felt cheated out of something that we could have explored more of. does columbia still exist in other universes??? are we just going to say damn thats fucked up, racism is bad we shouldn't have done that :/ we and just kill the man at the source? what about how did he get to the baptism??? i want to know MORE!! are there more than 2 universes? 3? infinite??? it's implied in the name isn't it?? there's just so much that this game opened up now and there's more questions than answers at this point which frustrates me bc i still have questions about rapture -_____- so yeah i'm just not satisfied and in fact i am just angry about it. my theories were way more interesting than 80% of the game whoops
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brelione · 4 years
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Not as Terrible (Rafe Cameron X Routledge!Reader)
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Warnings:Not proof read, swearing
Being John.B’s older sister was definitely and adventure.You were only older by a year but that one year age gap did a lot for you.Whether it was arguments or discussions on who would do a dangerous task you could always pull the older sibling card.
Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didnt but it was always worth a shot.But then again being the older sibling and John.B’s only family meant that you had other responsibilities,including messing up anyone that messed with him.
Rafe kissed you gently, a grin on his face. “I love you.”He grinned,hands in your hoodie pocket. “I know.I gotta go soon,JB’s gonna get made at me.”His face fell,pouting. “He shouldnt be your responsibility.”He grumbled,holding you tight.
You simply shrugged, not wanting to go through your life story and how it was now your job to take care of him.He could never understand the situation, he didnt really give a damn about Sarah.He also had a father, a shitty one for sure but he still had a father at least.He couldnt understand being a pogue either.
You guys were completely different in pretty much every way imaginable but ‘opposites attract’ or whatever bullshit. “I know….I’ll see you tomorrow though, right?”You asked,sitting up.He nodded,pulling you into another quick kiss before kissing your forehead lightly.
 “Dont forget to hate me.”You reminded him,opening his window and sliding down the fire escape,feeling his eyes on you as you hopped the fence.He sighed, becoming tired of the little game you guys had to play.
Because Rafe was the direct enemy of your brother and his friends that meant that you were supposed to avoid him entirely.It was just the rules of life.But that being said if you ever came across one of your brothers enemies you had to mess with them.
That included messing with Rafe,randomly showing up and flicking the back of his head,disappearing before he knew it was you.It started as you being an annoying presence to ruin his day,spitting gum onto his windshield or placing fake tickets on his car.
But slowly you started falling in love with him because of course you did.It was fucked up but you couldnt stop it, him eventually falling for you too.Thats when this little game began, sneaking out of your house and over to Rafe’s to cuddle and watch movies together,coming home late at night when John.B and his friends were having a fire.
JJ would pull you onto his lap, asking where you had been.He had a thing for you, claiming that it would be fine if the two of you guys got together because you were only eight months older than him so it wasnt that strange.
The age gap itself wasnt strange, it was the fact that he was your brother’s best friend for the last eight years that made things strange.You were fine with sitting in his lap while he whispered jokes into your ear in attempts to get you to laugh.
Of course it felt a little wrong because you were dating Rafe but you couldnt exactly tell him that without John.B finding out too, instead just letting JJ mess around with you because you knew nothing was going to come from it.
The next day you were decided to go with them to the beach, regretting it when you saw Rafe with Topper and Kelce, sitting in beach chairs with beer bottles in their hands.You saw JJ’s jaw clench, John.B rolling his eyes.
 “Why are they here?This isnt fair.”You brother grumbled, Pope nodding in agreement.The five of you decided to sit in the sand for a while,JJ’s hand on your knee almost like he was trying to protect you from Rafe’s eyes.If only he knew.Rafe kept looking over to you, a blush on his cheeks as he did so.
Eventually they left, leaving you and your brothers friends alone on the beach. “You know, I think im just gonna head back home.I have a headache.”You told them, making your way up the sandy hills before they could question it.As you began your walk down one of the dirt streets to get back to the house a bike pulled up next to you, your boyfriend being the one riding it.
 “Hey pretty girl.”You could practically hear the smile through his helmet.You sighed, stopping your walk to stare at him as he took off his helmet,leaning down to give you a quick kiss. “You coming to my house tonight?”He asked, twisting the fabric of your tshirt.
You shrugged, not sure what your brother was going to be doing. “I dont know if I can, John.B and the others might want me to go get groceries with them or something.”You replied,feeling his grip on you tighten,humming. “I havent messed with them in a while.”He muttered, glad when you smiled. 
“Thats good, I would have beat your ass if you did.”You teased with a roll of your eyes. He chuckled,kissing your forehead. “I would've liked it though.”He admitted.You laughed,smacking his arm lightly. “Shut up.”You grumbled, unaware of JJ watching you guys. 
“Is he bothering you?”JJ asked, coming out from his hiding spot in the trees.Your eyes widened, your stomach tightening.Shit. “Uh...no, everythings fine, JJ.Just go back to the beach.”You told him,hoping you didnt sound too suspicious.His blue eyes fell to your hand, the one that was holding Rafe’s.Fuck. 
“Is something going on that I should know about?”He asked,glaring at Rafe like he was trying to make his head blow up. “No, just go back to the beach.”You told him, a sort of assertive tone to your voice that was reserved for John.B when he wanted to do something dangerous.JJ’s eyebrows furrowed, not used to you speaking to him like this.
He nodded,walking away, sending you a look of disappointment before disappearing into the trees, most likely about to tell John.B what he had just seen.Rafe noticed how uneasy you were,hugging you. “Hey, dont stress about it.He’s got nothing on you, whats he gonna do?Complain that we were having a conversation?”He asked, not really helping.
“So I just saw (Y/N) talking to Rafe.”JJ grabbed a beer from the cooler, all eyes falling on him. “Cameron?”John.B asked, not really believing that you’d ever talk to such a vile human being.JJ nodded,sipping the alcoholic drink.
 “They were all over eachother, it was weird.”He grumbled, a slight jealousy in his voice.Kiara raised her eyebrows, a little mad about the situation. “What do you mean they were all over eachother?”She asked, looking over to Pope.
 “I mean they were holding hands and shit,giggling and he was like,I dont know.Its weird.”He tried his best to explain,realising it didnt sound as serious as it was. “(Y/N) doesnt giggle...she just...she just stares at people.Are you sure it was Rafe?”Pope asked.This was out of character for you.You had joined their conversations before, all of you talking shit about the Cameron family.
You had called Rafe a “Cruel, disgusting bitch.” it didnt make sense that you’d willingly talk to him.Meanwhile you were on the back of Rafe’s bike,arms wrapped around him tight as he pulled into his driveway, trying to figure out the best way to sneak you inside.
You ended up being hidden by him as you guys shuffled up the stairs, nearly getting caught by Ward.Luckily he was too busy on a call, not paying attention at all as Rafe pushed you inside his room, locking the door with a sigh. “What do you wanna watch?”He asked,falling on the bed next to you, grabbing the tv remote.
You shrugged,wrapping an arm around him with your head against his chest. “Doesnt matter.”You replied, watching as he picked a random horror movie,knowing that hed probably end up squealing and holding onto you.Your phone dinged, vibrating against your thigh.
You sighed,picking it up to check what someone could want or why they were trying to talk to you.It was a text from Kie, asking why the hell you were at Rafe Cameron’s house.There was no way in hell she actually knew that, she was probably just guessing.You sat up,taking Rafe with you, his chin on your shoulder and a frown on his face.
You:????
Kie:Your snap map is on.What are you doing with Rafe?
You:Im not with Rafe
Kie:Seriously like are you ok
You:Im fine lol
Kie:But why are you with Rafe?
You sighed,turning to look at the kook king. “What should I tell her?”You asked, unsure what to do.If you told her that you in Rafe were dating then she would obviously tell John.B and that meant that you would be in deep shit and would never hear the end of it.He sighed,kissing your shoulder lightly.
 “I dunno, baby.Tell her whatever you feel comfortable telling her.”That wasnt really helpful.You couldnt exactly lie to her.There was no other reason that you’d be at the Cameron’s mansion if it werent for Rafe.You hated Sarah because Kiara hated Sarah so you couldnt exactly use that excuse either.You were anxious the whole time you typed, praying that she wouldnt tell the others.
You:Can you keep a secret?
Kie:Yeah
You:What would you do if I told you I was dating Rafe?
Kie:You dumb idiot
Kie:Rafe??Really?Out of all people?
Kie:Hoe you could do better
Kie:So like youre cool with him hitting JJ and Pope?
Kie:Shit you need to tell JJ
You sighed,biting the inside of your cheek. “Why do you need to tell JJ?”Rafe asked,curious.You groaned,leaning against him. “He’s got a thing for me.”You explained, hoping you hadnt made him feel insecure.
You:He’s nice to me,ok?Plus he hasnt beat anyone in months and im happy and I just need you to not say anything
You waited for an answer, only seeing a ‘read’ receipt. “Shit.”You sighed, realizing that you had probably made the wrong decision by telling her about your relationship. “What?”He asked, not understanding exactly what had happened. 
“Watch her tell everyone.”You tossed your phone down onto the blanket, laying on top of your boyfriend. “It wouldnt be so bad,would it?”He asked, knowing that you were probably embarrassed to be with him. “I just...you know how they feel about you.”you reminded him, hearing him sigh. 
“I know.”He replied as he rubbed small circles along your stomach. “Im trying to change though.”He muttered, pressing a kiss to your neck.You nodded, understanding. “I know you are but they dont.”You grumbled,your leg resting at his hip as he continued leaving kisses down your neck.
You didnt leave until four in the morning, staying up with him the whole night.Ward and Rose had gone out on a date, leaving the two of you with his house to yourselves.You sat on the kitchen counter,your legs around his waist as you shared a pint of icecream.
 “This is the expensive kind.”You noticed,coming across brownie chunks and bits of chocolate truffle.He smiled, nodding. “Yep, its just kook life I guess.”He replied, not really caring. “This shit is like...ten dollars a pint.”He only laughed, not understanding how you hadnt grown up with the same things he had.
He just couldnt wrap his head around the fact that not everyone was like him.You couldnt exactly blame him, he had been isolated most of his childhood and if he wasnt by himself he was surrounded by kooks. 
“You can go to the grocery store with me next week if you want.We can get all the expensive icecream you want...maybe we can get some for John.B too, you know, to win him over.”He explained his idea.You shrugged, not sure how to feel. 
“You dont even do your own grocery shopping, remember?”You asked, seeing him roll his eyes. “I’ll go grocery shopping for you, baby.We can get cookie dough and mix it into brownie batter.”He continued,scooping another spoonful of icecream.You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking about it.It sounded fun but most grocery stores wouldnt be open at the times you were with Rafe.
“I gotta go, i’ll see you tomorrow though.”You promised,kissing him quickly.He backed away to let you slide off the counter, putting your phone in your pocket. He tugged at your t shirt, bringing you close to him so he could place a kiss on your lips, enjoying the feeling that he knew he wouldnt feel for a day at least.
He knew that the second you left his happiness would leave with you, making his mood a bit dull as he hugged you.“Do you want icecream to go?”He offered.You were quick to shake your head, leaving quick so you could get home.He pouted, wishing you two could be together more often.
You tip toed into the house,turning on your bedroom light only to see The Pogues all sitting in there, staring at the door. “Rafe Cameron?”John.B asked, sitting up on your bed.You sighed, sitting down. 
“Really,Kie?”You asked, looking over to the brunette. “JJ took my phone!”She exclaimed, making your eyes travel to JJ. “Are you serious?”You asked the blonde, noticing him pouting. 
“I thought he should know.”He muttered.Pope just seemed mad. “How long has this been going on?”Your brother asked, glaring at you. “Im not doing this right now.”You shook your head, going to leave the room when he grabbed your wrist.
 “(Y/N).What would dad think?”He asked.You scoffed, unable to believe that he went there. “Dad would want me to be happy, unlike you.He hasnt bothered you guys in months!Cant you see that he’s changed?”You asked,all of them avoiding eye contact.
 “No!People like Rafe Cameron cant change, (Y/N)!Do you think he actually likes you?”John.B asked, regretting it the second it left his lips. “Oh, fuck you!”You exclaimed, leaving the room and slamming the door behind you. 
“What the hell, John.B?”Kiara shouted, angry with her friend. “I didnt mean it like that!Lets give her a minute to cool off.”John.B grumbled, feeling JJ and Pope glaring at him.
 “What the fuck is wrong with you?”Pope asked, just as angry as JJ.John.B just sat, listening to their cursing and anger. “I didnt mean it!”John.B shouted eventually, tired of their yelling.JJ shook his head, going to find you.
You werent in the bathroom or living room, leading him to think that maybe you had left until he looked out the kitchen window.He saw you in the hammock, leaving the house with a slam of the screen door and going to lay down next to you. 
“What do you want?”You asked, not looking at the blonde. “Does he really make you happy?”JJ asked,waiting patiently for your answer.You nodded, turning to look at him. “Very much, yeah.”You answered,seeing a grin on his face. 
“So then why does it matter what we think?I mean, im definitely the better choice here but if he makes you happy then go for it.”He chuckled, looking over to the house. “John.B is mad.”You muttered, wrapping your arms around JJ’s torso as the sun began to come up.
 “He’s always mad, doesnt matter.If he can hook up with girls all the time I dont see why you cant have a healthy, loving relationship.It seems dumb to me.”He shrugged.You laughed quietly, not understanding when JJ became a life coach. 
“Yeah, I agree.I just dont want him to be mad at me, you know?Its not like if he’s mad at you, you can just leave the house but I cant.Im stuck with that bitch all the time.”You ranted, earning a small laugh from him. 
“Yeah, true.I think you should just live your life how you want to live it.If you want to be with Rafe then be with Rafe.Personally im not a fan of him but that doesnt mean I can just control your relationships.I mean, youre right.He hasnt really bothered us in months and I havent seen him around The Cut looking for trouble so maybe he has changed.As long as its healthy and everything is consensual.Everything is consensual,right?”He asked, looking down at you.
You hadnt really seen this side of JJ before, usually only seeing his flirty and joking side. “Of course.”You replied, flicking his stomach. “Right, so thats good.If John.B’s mad then that sucks but there’s nothing you can do about it.”He sighed, staring up at the sky through the tree branches. 
“Are you mad?”You asked, curious for his answer.He bit his lip, thinking about it. “No, not really.I just cant believe you like him of all people.”He chuckled, feeling you flick his head. “I didnt like him at first, it kinda just happened.”You replied.JJ nodded, not saying anything else.
You fell asleep in the hammock next to JJ,waking up at noon.There was a note on the kitchen table saying that they had all decided to go out on the boat for the day and that there was pepsi and yogurt in the fridge.You could tell by the handwriting that Pope had written it, everyone else had probably forgot about you.
At eight the next night things werent as tense as they had been before.John.B had even driven you to Rafe’s house, ranting about safe sex and telling you to give Rafe a slice of ‘humble pie’.You rolled your eyes,getting out of the van and telling him to fuck off before walking up to Rafe’s front door, knocking lightly.
He told you that you didnt have to climb through his window anymore.Since you had to tell the pogues about your relationship he had decided to tell his family about it as well which meant he didnt have to hide you anymore.
John.B watched from the van as Rafe embraced you in a hug, smile on his face as he kissed your forehead.He had never seen Rafe look like that, the only smile he’d ever seen on Rafe Cameron was the kind that belonged to an angry sociopath.
But now he kind of just looked like a squishy, smiling gremlin.You and Rafe stood in the doorway for a moment, talking about how things had gone with John.B.Rafe had noticed the van sitll in the driveway, sending a quick and awkward brave towards your brother.A grin came across John.B’s face as he backed out of the driveway.Maybe you dating the Kook King wasnt as terrible as he thought.
@sexytholland​ @28cnn​  @popcrone818​ @fttayla​ @cherryobx​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​ @drewstarkeyobx​ @poguestyleskye​ @judayyyw​ @jjtheangel​ @jj-iz-bae​
@sunwardsss @meaganjm​  @sarcasticsagittarius1998​ @natalie-kate-98​ @nxsmss​ @broken-jj​ @joshy-obx​ @prejudic3​ @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl​  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off​  @abbiesthings​ @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless
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bi-robins-club · 4 years
Text
jason had just settled onto his couch with a jane austen novel and his favourite peach iced tea when damian crept in through his window. he sighed internally and decided to simply ignore him. he had told damian to use the front door (nevermind the fact that jason rarely used the door) and more importantly? he was freaking comfortable. after a few minutes as jason flipped idly through the book, damian cleared his throat. jason sighed again, outwardly this time and reluctantly dragged his eyes up to his youngest brother. baby bat was shivering slightly from the rain outside and jason simply rasied an eyebrow as he sipped at his tea. scowling, dami stomped over to jasons bathroom to dry off. he rolled his eyes. how dramatic. damian was acting like he sentenced titus and alfred the cat to their deaths instead of how he was actually saving jason from deep cleaning his rain soaked carpet. (he was still going to deep clean the carpet the next time he tidied up but still)
when damian stalked back into the room, looking less like a wet, angry kitten and more like a dry, angry kitten, jason titled his head back and established eye contact.
"so what brings you over to my neck of the woods, demon spawn?"
instead of snapping back like jason expected, damian simply stood there looking extremely uncomfortable. he shuffled his feet, opened his mouth then closed it and sat next to jason on the couch he splurged way too much on.
"i don't know how to tell you this" dami began, hesitant "but i believe harper is experiencing thoughts of suicide"
jason jerked up, almost knocking over his tea (and what a damn waste that would be) before fixing damian with a look. he hadnt noticed anything different in roy lately but he knew more than anyone that depression acted strangely and was hard to pinpoint. his mind raced with thoughts of why roy might be suddenly suicidal, from a sudden relapse to not getting a happy meal toy included in his 3.99 box of clogged arteries. "why do you say that, damian?"
"i have been keeping an eye on his health since he became a close confidant to you and last night he said something worrying that i am still not able to parse the meaning of" jason smiled lightly at that, in damian speak he was basically declaring that he cared for roy- if for nothing else than for how happy he made jason. still he shook it off and asked what roy had said that was worrying dami.
"he was patrolling last night" jason knew that. roy had been picking up his patrols since jason had a nasty leg wound. it was the reason he wasn't out tonight. "and he was on the phone with an unknown person, though i am inclined to believe it was either Starfire or Canary" okay, still not surprising "and then he said that the only place he could die happy was between your thighs" oh hello blue screen. yes jasons mind was in the middle of rebooting but could you hurry it along? he almost missed what damian said next. "not only does he wish for death upon himself, he wishes for you to give it to him!"
"damian" jason managed, frantically trying to figure out a way to explain to his baby brother without including his sex life. "uhh its just an expression"
damians face brightened up slightly. "really? he does not wish to smother himself between your thighs?"
"yeah, its like...like just a way to say... mind your business? mmhmm" he struggled to get out, pulling an explanation out of his ass.
"you have told father to mind his business a thousand times but i dont recal you ever using that one. is it new?"
oh god. jason would rather die again than continue this conversation.
"uhh its only used if you're close to someone" jason didnt know what he didnt wrong but dami's eyes widened in clear worry. "i thought you and father were reconnecting? has something happened? are you fighting again?"
well shit. jason had not thought this one through. fuck roy and fuck his mile wide kink that centered around jasons thighs. he was going to kill him. and he wouldnt even use his thighs. "oh nonono dami we're fine, just not as close as me and roy" he hedged, pleading to gods he didnt believe in to stop this conversation with whatever means necessary. strike him dead if need be but *please*. damians eyes narrowed "and exactly how close are you with harper, jason?" jason stared in disbelief. how had his nice relaxing evening turned into such a shitshow? damian was fine with roy when he and jason were just friends but now that he was (correctly) assuming a relationship, his over protective instincts were kicking in? christ. he remembered how when dick and babs finally started dating (again), damian seemingly lost all respect for her and called her an evil harlot more than once.
thankfully he was saved by answering in the form of the best person jason had ever met aka duke thomas. he announced his presence by awkwardly coughing. jason met his dark eyes and mouthed 'help me' over damians head. duke smiled as if it was getting pulled out of him by torture but nodded.
"hey dames, dick wanted you to join him by the docks when you finished up here" damian scowled "cant you see i am clearly not finished yet"
"hah, well dick was facing up against scarecrow and i think he needed some back up but you know him"
"yes, he wont admit he needs help when he very clearly does" damian sighed "very well, ill go check on dick. you stay and question jason. " and with that damian clambered out the window and after he disappeared from sight, jason threw his head back to stare at his ceiling and groaned. duke laughed at him.
"hey daisy duke?" duke grumbled at the nickname and jason cracked a smile "how did you know i needed back up?" duke winced and ran a hand over his dreads. he made a face and jasons soul was slowly draining out of his body. "oh haha funny story" duke rocked back on his feet and faked laughed "damians com was still connected to the channel" jason froze.
"who was on the channel oh my god" duke smiled thinly and his hand paused on his head. "other than me? everyone." jason buried his head in his hands and let out a high pitched whine. duke consolingly rubbed his shoulder. this is why jason loved him. he hadn't even laughed at jason like tim, dick or steph would or started plotting death like damian started to. he and cass would just offer support. jasons favorite brother and sister right here folks. duke sat down beside him
"listen. i know what it's like to be outed when youre not ready and when i heard damian grilling you about roy, i thought i would help" jason turned and stared at his brother. duke was staring at his hands and avoiding eye contact. "i got caught with a boy when i was 15 in high school. its pretty shitty to be gay and poor in a homophobic neighbourhood but its worse to be gay, poor and black." jason knocked shoulders with him. "if you tell me the name of whatever asshat outed you, I'll shoot him for you." duke let out a waterly laugh. "they kept bullying me for being gay but if they even listened, they would have realised that im pan" he joked "its a completely different thing after all". jason snorted
"that was horrible"
duke winced "yeah, it was wasnt it. im bad at this" it was jasons turn to avoid eye contact now.
"talia once caught me with a league operative. a male operative. i was so paranoid for days until i caught shiva leaving her rooms. i got the courage to tell her i was bi and she just patted my cheek and asked how my training was going."
duke huffed out a laugh. "bruce gives you shit but i for one think your lesbians moms are cool"
jason laughed with him "just wait until you meet Ducra. shes a badass"
"ducra?" he questioned with a weird look. "how many moms do you actually have? i knew about diana and your assassin moms but thats a new name" jason burst into laughter at the expression on dukes face. "its not fair man. steph is the only other one with a mom and you have four! you need to share" jason choked on his laughter and shoved duke.
"first of all, its only *three*. ducra is like my badass abuela"
"dont you already have a badass grandma? have you forgotten about Ma Gunn? she threatened to shoot bruce in the dick last week!"
"yes well excuse you i need strong female role models in my life, fuck you" the two of them continued to joke around for a little while longer before jason caught a flash of black kelvar outside his window and sighed. duke followed his eyes and smiled before patting jasons shoulder and pushing off. "have fun with the one strong male role model in your life. im going to see if cass needs help" both of them knew that cass wouldn't need help but jason accepted the excuse for what it was. "me and steph are still coming over to study tomorrow. college is kicking my ass and i need you to explain this English assignment to me"
jason scoffed "im not writing your essay for you"
"eh worth a try. bye jace" duke gave a two fingered salute and slipped out the window. jason took the brief reprieve to sip his tea and mourned when he discovered the ice had melted and watered down the peach taste. for the third time that night, someone crept into his window. oh well. third times the charm right? jason wasn't going to acknowledge bruce until he said something himself. it was a repeat of damian. jasom read his book as it got increasingly uncomfortable.
"jason."
"bruce" jason drawled, not lifting his eyes from his book. bruce grunted like the neanderthal he was and jason finally huffed out a heaving breath before marking his page and looking up. bruce looked supremely uncomfortable. actually his face looked exceedingly neutral but jason knew how to read bruce and that was the brow furrow of how do i deal with jason without fucking it up? jason was well famailairsed with that one.
"you know i love you" jasons own eyebrows rose. bruce only said 'i love you' like four times a year tops. and he usually never wasted it on jason. bruce deflated at whatever face jason must have made. goddamn it. this was why jason always fought with bruce with his helmet on, he couldnt control his facial expressions for shit. "no you dont know that." bruce smiled thinly and to jasons suprise, quickly crossed the room and knelt, placing his hands on jasons shoulders.
"even if you dont believe it, and its my own fault that you do and i hate that i ever caused you to even doubt my love for you, i swear that i do, jay lad" jason was completely frozen. he had expected bruce to yell at him for letting roy go unchecked on patrol last night and how irresponsible he was yada yada, not this declaration of feelings that he had no clue how to deal with. he couldnt remember the last time bruce called him that. it had to have been when he was still in those scaly green panties and pixie boots. and not the adult verison that jason picked up from a halloween store on a whim just to see roys eyes.
bruce sighed and drew jason into a hug. when bruces shoulder started getting wet, jason was horrified to realise he was crying. "i wanted you to know that i wouldnt love you any less for loving a man. but you have to know that i love you in the first place for that to happen" bruce said self deprecating.
"shut the fuck up" jason said sniffling and gripping his dads back. "i hate you"
bruce laughed softly at him before pressing a kiss to the side of jasons head. "i want you to know that i expect roy-and you- over at dinner on sunday. i need to meet the man that stole my babys heart" he murmured. jason laughed wetly "youve already met roy, you just want to con me into actually coming to family dinner"
bruce smiled "that was before i knew you two were dating. roy needs to know what hes getting into" jason leaned back enough to stare into bruces eyes and weakly punched him in the chest "dont threaten my boyfriend. he refused to look at me for two weeks after t was done with him" bruce sighed longingly "its times like this when i remember what caused me to love talia in the first place."
"bruce!" the aforementioned man laughed and hugged jason tightly before stepping back a few steps. "Sunday dinner. you and roy. 8 pm." on a whim jason reached out and snagged bruces hand. "hey" he started, swallowing "you wanna stay for a while? we could watch a movie or something" bruces eyes softened and he nodded. "let me change out of the suit."
and if roy had crept in after patrol only to see jason napping on his dads chest to a shitty action movie playing in the background and took several pictures, well that bruces fault for not waking up when roy stumbled it. (nevermind the fact that bruce had every single one of those pictures saved on his phone) (nevermind the fact that after roy put his phone away, he was greeted to the sight of batman glaring at him as he twisted a batarang around his fingers. it was sorta ruined by the fact that jasons curls was hiding the lower half of his face but roy was still adequately terrified)
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blookmallow · 3 years
Text
and now, the thrilling conclusion, where EVERYTHING GOES TO SHIT
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never did find all these tapes or understand what they were about, either. gdi 
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fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK NO NO NO!! NO!!!
god this scene was so well done, though. almost too well. something about the old phone and the. “my friend is suddenly Not Okay what the fuck do i do” really, really struck a nerve with some shit i went through in high school 
i dont... understand what happened to his body, though. i think he did this because he knew they needed someone on the Other Side to be able to stop the cult. maybe he also just couldn’t take the pressure anymore as well. i think he realized someone had to and he decided it would be him. maybe he even knew something about what sal was going to have to do and maybe he didn’t want to be there when it happens. maybe he knew he wasn’t getting out of this alive anyway, so he decided he’d rather just do it himself and let his death mean something. i dont know. i dont know. this hit so fucking hard im honestly still a lil shaken up about it 
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so i guess... whatever the cult was doing, whatever demonic influence is still ravaging this place, everyone was already doomed from the start. everyone was already infected with the curse or The Dark or whatever it is. everyone who died here couldn’t pass on because something went Wrong and was keeping them there 
and at this point i think everyone was essentially already dead before sal got to them. they would have been consumed either way 
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i dont think i like the fact that sara is being taken by the dark, too. i dont know what that means. maybe it just means david believed she was a person enough for the dark to latch onto her and try to take her too. maybe it means something else 
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i dont understand what happened to these two, either. they’re the only ones who were faded out like this instead of being consumed by the ooze. it didn’t seem to make any difference, though. i dont know why only maple knew to run or why she didn’t try to take them with her 
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GOD FUCK
WAS HE LIKE THIS THE WHOLE TIME??? GOD 
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FEAR 
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WHAT??????? NO????? WHAT 
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this is so bad this is so bad this is so bad you’re gonna make me do this aren’t you. you’re gonna make me do all of this 
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im sorry man you were weird but as far as i can tell you didn’t deserve this
sara isn’t acknowledged. i still want to know why the dark was trying to take her too 
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im sorry im sorry im so fucking sorry 
well. i guess that. explains the trial, then. boy this sure is a fucking lot to take in
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anyway, im. ashley now and ive found maple. i guess this is how we’re dealing with this. fuck
i dont understand why the. they’re not kids anymore now but you know, the main group, isn’t being taken over, i dont think ash lived at the apartments so she could have escaped it but everyone else grew up there. you can’t say it’s not long enough to get infected because maple didn’t live there initially, she moved in with chug later and it still got her. im not sure that it got chug and his daughter. they weren’t in the shadow ooze. but they were faded out and they. were also. among the body count, so. clearly sal believed they were already too far gone
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i think this is the first actually clean and well-kept bathroom we ever see in this game, id be happy for them, but, well. you know 
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NEITHER WAS I 
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b............beedle juice................
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nice
i dont really understand why this style shifting thing is happening, different realities converging or something, i guess, but im into it 
“character shifts into other parallel versions of themselves in different styles/travels across different universes” sequences are always my favorite i dont know what you call that or if it counts as a trope but i love it 
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GOD
DAMN IT 
none of us are surviving this, huh. like actually none of us.
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I DIDNT KILL HER SHE KILLED HERSELF FOR SOME REASON THAT ONE WASNT MY FAULT 
but then she. wasn’t dead and had a new ghost arm that i think was also me. im her haunted arm now its fine we’re fine everything’s fine 
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FUCKING SHIT HELL WHY 
i cant tell if im supposed to know these people or not i think that might be neil though........ probably maple. god. god 
for some reason i keep wanting to call maple “willow” where is that coming from
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big fan of being able to just smack cultists into bloody puddles with our new ghost arm though that’s very nice 
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YES THANK YOU I AM AWARE i had a bad time with the controls on half these little final boss mini game things fsjdg
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anyway, uh. that sure was a lot of things and i still have no idea what happened at all. i am confused and terrified thats all i can say
i mean. like. this is an incredibly good game its very well written the characters are so real and engaging, the story hits you over and over again right in the fuckin guts, the passage of time and gradual development and change through different points of these peoples’ lives is done so well and its so interesting and unique but at the same time i do not understand a goddamn thing that just happened here 
also according to my very depressing episode stats i seem to have missed a shit ton of things, so maybe that’s why. genuinely think im probably just going to immediately start a new game and play it again now that i Know and. well, suffer again, mostly, but also just. try to understand try to figure out what i missed 
i think part of the problem is it took me way too long to realize there were occasionally things i could interact with that didn’t specifically. say i could interact with them, i got used to looking for like. the little marker subtitle things that pop up over important objects/etc like “radio” “sal’s room” but sometimes there’s like. a little thing on the ground you can pick up that doesn’t say anything when you stand over it or something and i guess? i must have? missed a lot of those 
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butterbeeryuta · 4 years
Text
johnny as your boyfriend; radio!au
a/n: thIS was requested a looooooong time ago, and i am so sorry that i only wrote this now. My mocks are finally done, and they actually went pretty well, so i hope my results will match whatever i am claiming skdjkjd. This headcanon was really fun to write, and it was overall just adorable oof alright, imma head to over to my next oneshot now. Hope all of you have a great day.
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Okay so ya’ll are in uniVersity (as expected because I am writing this)
You met johnny 2 years ago when you were freshman looking for a job on campus cause um,,, college is a bitch
And you saw this uni radio show ‘Night Night’ which went live every wednesday at 9 in the evening
You honestly had no idea what they talked about since you’ve never listened to one
Despite the fact that your roommate Sicheng always talks about it and claims how great it is
BUT ANYWAY
You always enjoyed radio shows in general, and saw that they were hiring for another radio show personality
HMMmmMmmmM i wonDEr wheRe tHIS Is gOInG
You were one intellect my dear; you were studying political science at Konkuk University, meaning, you were one opinionated ass individual
But, you also had your crack side acCording to ur roommate
You fucking chased Sicheng around with those incense sticks cause you couldn’t find your go-to rolling pin to scare the shit out of him for eating your pack of strawberries
I swear the two of you are great friends ya’ll just show love to each other in quite a unique way
ANYWAYS
YeAH so you went to ask for the job cause you need money to buy a safe for your precious strawberries
You brought whatever requirements they asked for, and nyyOoooOOooooOOOOnged your way over there
It was a pretty old building, or radio station per se. not that it was bad or anything but, it isn’t exactly a place you would like to step into
Going up the stairs, you just saw a really TALL and attractive guy clearing out a few things in the booth. Your guess was that he was also probably new to this and whoever lent him the place didn’t exactly clean up the place.
With whatever courage you had in yourself
Or i guess how much sugar you consumed this morning cause you casually just walked it without contacting the guy
‘Uh... hello?’
HE JUMPED, whatever shit he was holding? Yeah it dropped
Which caused you to jump too, not expecting the huge ass pretty guy to have that big of a reaction
he looked over to you, surprised to see a person in the radio station because um,,, nobody ever goes there except for him
‘Hello to you too??? uhhh, not meaning to be rude or anything but, why are you here? Are you lost?’ He asks, looking extremely concerned
You just shook your head and deadass told him that there was a job offer for another radio show personality, and he looked eveN more concerned
Sorta like a ‘are u fucking serious’ face
‘Oh! Right. That job has been open for about a year now so I didn’t expect anyone to come at all...’
OHHhhHhh????????
Well,,,, i guess you have a better chance of getting the job?
‘Well.... do i get a higher chance of being accepted then for being the first to show up? You ask, unsure if whatever you said made sense, or was even socially acceptable
Imagine going to a job interview being like: ‘so i saw ur job offer, and since i actually showed up, I’m accepted right?’
Babe i dont think it works like that, but let’s continue
Johnny honestly had nothing to say against you though. You were right in a sense that you had no competition since you were the only one that actually came to apply. At the same time, he wanted the quality of the show to still be good even if there was a limited audience
‘Higher chance is indeed right. But tell me, uhh, what’s your name again?’
‘I actually never introduced myself, but it’s _______’
‘I’m Johnny by the way. So _______, why do you want to be a radio show host for Konkuk University?’
you had two ways to answer this question: (1) be blatantly honest that you really need the money, and talking to earn cash seems pretty great in your opinion or (2) repeat whatever the fuck sicheng has told you about the show
And of course, you were going with the first option
‘i honestly need the money because college is a bitch. And also talking and having discussions is a pretty fun and interesting method to get some cash in. Also because my roommate loves your show and why not ruin it for him by including me in it’
Babe
BABE SKDJKSDJKDSJKSDJSKDJKSDJ
Johnny actually wanted to accept you immediately. I mean for starters, he found you pretty adorable marching up to the radio station determined to get the job. And not only that, you were quite the talker, which is something that could spike up the show since it was just always johnny speaking
And also because he was feeling quite lonely but he would never admit that
‘Alright _____, meet me this friday to talk about next week’s segment’
OOFT
And let me tell you, tall boi’s assumptions were right. During your first show together, the two of you decided to talk about the book ‘1984’ by george orwell and although it may sound boring on a superficial level, yOU made it sound pretty interesting and johnny was actually just laughing the entire time
You and johnny just clicked in an instant, and your way of describing things made ‘Night Night’ known by the students
Nobody could ever forget your infamous line about the book: ‘george orwell’s sexual frustration is honestly so transparent in the book; all he needed was to get his dick wet then maybe he wouldn’t have let julia and winston be caught by the thoughtpolice.’
And things like this happened every wednesday. The pattern of your radio show just included you being you, and johnny trying to make shit be on track
The two of you were doing it for a very long time now, and back to toDAY where ya’ll have been doing it for two years, well... it would be a lie to say you hadn’t developed feelings for johnny
of course the man was beautiful and well-built. But his personality and laugh? Yeah sicheng should’ve warned you about that.
He is probably one of the most open-minded person in the world, and he knows a bit about everything, making him so well-rounded. And and and he’s to kind???
If you tell him that you can’t make it to the radio show, he says it’s okay and even gives you snacks the moment you come back and he just makes you so soft in general i—
Meanwhile for johnny, damn is he in love with you
Over the past 2 years, you definitely helped him open up more. With the way you speak along with your galaxy brain, he couldn’t help but fall for you? You were intelligent, you had your own mind, and being friendly and funny in general is something johnny really liked about you
The time when he realised he loves you was when you curled yourself up against the seat while you were discussing about what to talk about next week, and you just fell asleep. He noticed how soft and peaceful you looked, and that he would want to see you like this on a daily basis
Shit this is getting me all soft i wasnt planning on this nsndnsndnd
So yeaHHHHH this week’s segment, you guys were talking about the spanish conquest of mexico and peru woohoooo
AND you were very excited for this because this was one of your (my) favourite topics you learnt during your time in high school
‘OKAY, good evening everyone I am ______D,’
‘And I am JohnD, and welcome to’
‘Night Night. Oof, we’re getting better at our introductions aren’t we JohnD?’
‘Nope, you just learned how to say it without cringing’
‘Touché’ and ya’ll began your discussion. And things actually got pretty interesting.
‘So _____ you’re telling me that it was Cortes’ leadership that allowed the Spanish to successfully take over Mexico?’ He asks you in disbelief.
‘No you tall dumbfuck, it’s one of the attributes that led them to succeed. Both Cortes and Pizarro had disease on their side and better weapons, so of course they’d win. I just wanted to include leadership as i don’t know, to see the defeat of the aztecs from a new lens?’ You respond, deadass looking at johnny in the eye
‘Well, i don’t think i can argue with that, mainly because i am too scared too. That is it for today, but before we end this, i would like to add one more thing.’ Johnny says, which took you by surprise
huHhh?
You looked confused, in fact, you were confused.
What the fuck was going on?
‘This academic year is ending, and this so happens to be my last year here at Konkuk University...’
Oh shit
Your eyes softened at his words, just realising now that johnny was two years older than you, and yeah, he’s graduating this year
‘... this year has honestly been one of the greatest years here at Konkuk, but for me, I think of my my most memorable memories here was when ______D entered the station and giving me a huge fright’
You laughed a little, remembering how much you scared the man
‘Taking this opportunity, ______D, I want to ask you something’
Shit
Shit
Shit
BRUHHHHHHHHH
‘I just want to congratulate you and thank you for joining “Night Night.” You made the show livelier and massively increased the viewer rate with that big brain of yours—‘
‘I prefer the term galaxy brain’
‘—yes, galaxy brain. I hope that you can continue this radio show, and maybe recruit someone else while i’m out in the world of disgusting adults. So yes, thank you ______. And because we won’t be colleagues in a bit, will you be my girl/boyfriend?’
You were initially teary eyed, buT yEET those tears out biTCH what????
You wanted to say yes, bUt how?????
Do you just nod at him and go ‘ye,’ or do you like, confess?
You felt weird in the stomach. Not that you can exactly do 459343948 cartwheels in one go, but that’s exactly what your stomach was doing. If you were to speak, you could have vomited.
Idk what happened to you, but you took off your headphones, and went to the tall boy and just hugged the shit out of him cause umm,,,, SAME????
And johnny wasn’t sure what that exactly meant so he just hugged you back, bringing you to his lap and holding you tight against him cause honestly, when will he be able to do this to a person he genuinely loves
There was a moment of silence of you two just holding each other, until you realised you were still live with lord knows how many people were listening.
‘U-um, yeah Johnny, I w-will gladly be yours—‘
‘_____ I love you’
OKAY RETRIEVE THOSE TEARS BISH YOU CRYING NOW TF
You sorta just placed your head on the crook of his neck, quietly whispering to him
‘I can’t believe I love your tall ass too...’
‘SHE SAID SHE LOVES ME TOO!’
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shoezuki · 5 years
Text
So this is the second time im writin this shit out but. I been thinkin a shou n ritsu bein nonbinary A Lot so im gonna write it again but uh
Heres some nonbinary shou n ritsu hcs cuz why not
Shou his Whole Damn Life was Very defiant of any like. Gender based expectations and the 'girls do this guys do that' bullshit
Didnt have any support from his parents. Didnt know the Vocabulary for how he was feelin, his identity
You Know touichirou wouldnt know Any trans terms and identities fuck that cishet
Shou always Knew he wasnt a boy. More in a sense of 'im just shou' and leavin it at that most his childhood. He had other things to worry about
Wasny until after the world domination arc that shou Really had the mental space and time to consider himself more
Hes never been Uncomfortable being seen as a boy, per se. More because He knows who he is, hes sure of himself, thats what matters
He doesnt fuck w labels. Doesnt give a shit what pronouns r used for him. Just refers to himself as Nonbinary cuz he doesnt Feel like hed need to fit himself into a more specific label, that his gender or how he Feels bout it changes
At some point just got used to doing 'boy' things cuz thats what touichirou expected of him and like. Was Very Adamant on shou 'acting like a boy'
One day shou is just hanging out post wd arc, and he is just like 'wait a fucking second'
Queue shou having a pink phase. Hair pink. Nails always painted. All kinds of sparkly hair clips. Makeup and skirts. He starts messin round w what he wants to wear and how he wants to present himself and expression
Doesnt consider himself to be Masculine or Feminine. He doesnt fuck w that. What he wears and does is just Things he Likes. Him wearin skirts isnt Girly. Or him wearin scuffed up sneakers isnt Boyish. Its Him
As i said before. Pronouns are Whatever. But serizawa has had to calm shou doen Many times if someone specifically refers to him as a 'boy' or a 'girl'. He is willing to get into scraps for that without a doubt
Serizawa and later Ritsu are the Only ones to really Know hes nonbinary
Moreso he just doesnt care or ser a point in like. Explicitly Coming Out to ppl. He things its unnecessary. So if its not brought up casually, he says nothing bout it
OH and shou didnt come out to ritsu until like. Two months into them dating
And it was like. A Realization one day. That ritsu Probably thinks he's dating a boy. Esp since ritsu is gay. And that Bothers Him
Ofc hes not gonna like. Let it Show that it bothers him
So the whole Coming Out thing was nasically like. They were having one of their Videogame Nights. Its late as all hell. Ritsu is gettin his ass kicked half asleep beside a rabid shou.
Hou just blurts out like 'oh by the way im not a boy im nonbinary so like. Yeah'
Shou voice: oh cool thats out and done cool
Ritsu voice: wait a second hold on hold on HIM TOO????
And like. Ritsu fuckin Freezes. Absolutely shocked. Pauses the game and looks at shou like "oh my god im not a boy either"
Queue a lot of screaming, loud yellin, things flying round the room, ritsu's parents losin their shit, the works
For ritsu being nb and Realizin hes nb was really different
He knew from the get go he wasnt a girl. As soon as he could he rejected 'girly' things and bein labeled as a girl
His family, as Soon As he said 'im not a girl', they were like 'oh okay son :)' and supported him
But like. Even tho ritsu was definitely more comfortable w masculinity n being seen as and called a Boy it still didnt 100% feel right
But again. Motherfuckers dont talk bout nonbinary genders (assholes....) so he didnt have the Words to say how he was feelin. Plus trying to argue that No he Wasnt a boy completely would get his parents confused
It seemed to him it was Either youre a Boy or a Girl so he chose boy.
Even when he looked into it himself, never really Vocalized his identity. Wouldnt even refer to himself as nonbinary in privacy. Didnt come out to his parents or brother
Ritsu is a demiboy, altho im not 100% sure on what identity and amd considerin maybe he'd be bigender? Hmmmm
He Did put a lot of thought into it. More so like 'im going to do this and wear that and express myself like this when i move out' kind of thinking
Like. He put A Lot of thought into his gender
Doesnt mind being seen as a boy. Its more comfy. He goes by he/him and they/them.
When shou came out to him it was the Wildest thing for them. Ritsu never knew anyone else to be nonbinary. Shou technically knew minegishi but he couldnt hold a convo w them without staring at their lack of eyebrows and gettin weirded out by it
'So if youre gay And nonbinary does that mean you only like other nonbinary people? Or like. Is that how you found me ritsu? You were drawn in by my wicked good looks and nonbinary vibes?' Ritsu, who has spent nights awake wondering just this 'i like boys and nonbinary ppl dipshit'
They really help each other open up about their genders. Like shou becomes more vocal about Not Being A Boy, even if its just w jokes. And ritsu feels so much more at ease. Somethin about havin the fact that Hes Nonbinary exist somewhere else outside of Just his mind is warm feeling
Gender Talks between them contain a lot of 'oh my god ME TOO' and 'oh wow same???'
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clownbeep · 5 years
Text
This is gonna be kinda brutal. But I want to put it into writing
Big vent/whats been going on
Hah... I guess this is like my life story or some shit...
Trigger warning ahead.. Depression and a bit of gore/suicide talk so if you are sensitive to that please, for your own sake and mental state you might not want to continue.
For those who dont want to hear a pretty dark vent, I understand.
And those who are just scrolling by feel free to scroll past. I just personally want to get this out.
If you have dealt with emotional neglect/abuse and need to know it isnt in your head this might be the post.
By writing this it feels like hopefully someone else will read this and realise certain things are NOT healthy.
If you are questioning if you are being emotionally neglected/abused (im speaking in a parental sense but even romantically or sexually) im not someone to give you answers, but the fact you are questioning it raises some red flags. In a healthy relationship you dont wonder those things.
Sorry for the long prelude but heres what I wanted to say
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ever since I was young, ive had bad ADHD, manic bipolar/depression, and sensory issues.
I was diagnosed around 13 I believe. My family (I didnt realise it then) always showed pity. Like I was some wild animal that couldnt be tamed and there was nothing they could do. Id do and say stupid attention seeking things just to try and get a shred of empathy.
My family didnt care.
When I was in the hospital for a suicide attempt regaurding pills and my liver had a chance of failing.. None of my family members cried over me. But a family friend. Someone not. Even. Related. Wept over me.
My family didnt care.
I cant say they never cared. They give me food water and luxuries like internet and a phone. For that I am grateful.
But in many other ways they have hurt me faar more than helped.
Once I got out of a short term stay in an inpatient mental facility I desperately needed contact with anyone who would care for me.
I have a younger sister, quite young probably around 7 at the time. She was a close friend of mine for that time. Id hang out with her so often to fill the gap in love it felt my family didnt give. One day I walked into the dining room and overheard my mother and father talking to my little sister. They told her to keep away because I wasnt "stable" because I was "dangerous" and could give her bad Ideas. And with one single action my only friend at the time and way to find happiness was taken away.
My family did not care.
When I stay in bed every day for months on end not knowing which day ill snap and end it all.... I get called lazy.
My family did not care
When I beg for medication to make me a functional human being they brush me off for years on end. Im losing my grip. I can barely remember things that have happened last week because I try so hard to forget everything its my automatic response to everything.
When I cant get to sleep because all of the memories come flooding back and im hit by wave after wave of horrific memories and the feeling if worthlessness... When I cant watch any videos or read posts about families because it brings on unwanted memories and emotions....
Is it me being dramatic then?
When you hear your family openly mocking and laughing about how stupid and dramatic and fake trans people are... How weird and unnatural and mentally insane these people are not knowing they are the very reason grsm and trans suicides are so high...
Am I a liar now? Am I insane?
When I tried to talk to them about my mental health issues. They took my only way of contact and made me feel like it was my own fault.
My family didnt care.
When I was nearly passed out shaking in a bathtub covered in wounds and blood all over... They showed pity, then lectured me for an hour for not telling them or for being impulsive and basically cleaned my wounds and sent me into my room.
My family didnt care.
Yes. I do agree, they cleaned my wounds, the physical side of showing care. However emotionally they were not there.
When my father drinks so heavilly every day he is home from work that he forgets half the things he tells you and can barely function.. They lecture my older sister for having a glass of wine (legal age)
They did not care.
My sister (23) tried for so many years to cling to what little attention she would get by getting good grades and going to college... She realised that it changed nothing about how my family felt toward her.... She snapped.
My family did not care.
She starves herself for a disease she does not have, she uses religion as an exuse to be one of the biggest christian extremists I personally know. Half the days she doesnt eat... Other days she burns book and gets rid of items for being demonic.
My lovely sister used to be kind and quite normal. However she couldnt find comfort in what little live her family gave. Starved for care she turned to religion to un unhealthy degree. Finding any way to keep her mind busy. Now I worry she will end up in the hospital for weighing so little.
My family did not care.
My oldest sister (27) Is married to a continuously cheating husband who she keeps letting back into her life. She was raised with a failing marrige and doesnt seem to see when she should call it quits.
Not to mention her husband has touched someone legally under the age of concent. Did she report him to the authorities? No.
All of these horrific things stemming from bad parenting. Unhealthy relationships and neglect.
Neglect emotionally can cause just as bad things as physical neglect. They are both horrifically dangerous in different ways.
These are the only big things I can remember... Basically age 15 and below are a complete blur to me and I cant remember much of it without thinking for a looong time. Even then I cant remember a lot of it... I feel like ive lost my whole damn childhood. And it hurts more than if they had just hit me or physically harmed me.
Im not underplaying physically harm. But in my personaly opinion I would rather my family have beaten me badly because at least then id have an easier way to prove to people how severe the abuse was. You can see bruises and confirm broken bones... But years of feeling completely useless and being shut off from most of the world other than the internet... It fucks you up in a way I dont think can be healed.
I dont know if I can ever love myself or... Remember things. Its terrifying to think Ill post this and a few weeks later probably not even rememner unless its brought up. Or meeting people and having conversations... And they are just... Gone.
Gone.
I suppose the biggest reason im writing this is well... In the future I dont want to forget in some ways.. I want like to be 100× as awesome knowing itll start as soon as im out of here..
If I dont have anything to compare it too then what is the point?
Ive layed out basically most of what I remember
A large amount of time I look around and nothing registers... Everything is familiar but I cant remember anything for a moment or two.. I feel like my memory is slipping so fast and im terrified.. I cant do anything to stop it and I cant make my mood be stable without the medication my family cant be bothered to get ...
I suppose this is a bit of a vent. I know its kind of everywhere and unorganized..
If im honest.. Tumblr is the only place where people have given me a home I wish I had..
I came out as trans here... Everyone was so damn supportive.. I didnt say anything but I cried hard and the kindness.. It was amazing.. It was such a jarring difference to how I feel when I say anything in real life.
Ive met friends here and ive had some much fun here. If youve stuck around this far thank you so much.. If you didnt I dont blame you.
I just wanted to share what has been flashing in my head these past few days.. It hurts a lot and ive even considered suicide recently..
Im trying hard. As hard as I can.. I have no escape though.
I cannot leave home. I cannot escape. Im not being dramatic.
I
CANT
LEAVE
And its terrifying because I know without medication or at least being somewhere AWAY from family.... I feel like im going to break soon.
I dont want to do anything stupid.. But some days I cant think straight and do things that harm myself and its not good. Its not okay. Im aware that I need help but I have no idea where to go/turn.. I have no ID or drivers liscence.. I have no transportation to and from a job to get money so I can leave... I live in the middle of nowhere.... I just..
I dont want to lose touch. I dont want to do anything bad.. I want to be functional.. I want to do more than eat and sleep my life away because I have nothing else to do..
Im so damn sick and tired of this all.. And at times I really do feel like there is only one way out.
Its always there and I just feel like one of these days im gonna be pushed over the edge and not be thinking clearly enough to stop it.
Im thinking semi clearly right now which is my im posting this.. Because im afraid and alone.
I have nowhere to go irl I have no friends Irl i just have tumblr and media and thats it. I dont expect anyone to be able to help I just wanted to write this so anyone knows what happens if I leave media..
If I tell my family my issues they will blow me off again for the 11th time or so (not exaggerated)
And if I do something to get sent to the hospital and get the help I need the cycle will continue with them being pissed and me getting sent home in a month or less anly for my family relationships to get worse..
Im spiraling fuether and further and I cant keep up the facade of being fine. I need help. And i have no way to get it. Ive just been suffering for years...
Sitting around and doing nothing but using your phone or drawing or whatever sound fun in theory... But if thats all youve been able to do for years with little to no real life social contact its gonna mess with your head... I dont want to be a shut in... I just
I dont know what to do.
Im sorry for rambling. I will most likely delete this later feeling embarrassed I posted this...
Im just tired..
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fearsbellsarchived · 4 years
Text
[me? Thinking about a gf fairytales au instead of being productive? More likely than u think!!! think ou.at buT BETTER and w/o the real world dimension hopping part. under the cut bc i just copy/pasted my tags from forever ago to put them in one place
mabel and dipper are hansel and gretal
paz is sleeping beauty 
bill is maleficient 
if we’re gonna get disney about it wendy as merida 
i LOVE the idea of tambry as rapunzel??? 
mabel can also be like...eric from the little mermaid 
so mermando can be ariel 
gIDEON AS URSULA/VANESSA IN THAT VEIN THO 
bill is also rumplestilskin 
stan can be the huntsman (idk from which story cause theres a fEW BUT)
ford is the sorcerer from fanstasia 
ford is teaching dipper magic....and instead of a true love’s kiss that’s how he wakes paz (maybe?)
the northwests made a deal w bill like in the most famous version of rumplestilskin but instead of wanting paz for himself he just wanted to steal her body at 16
so when they lose the deal they ask for help from ford and ford’s like “yo i can maybe change the deal??? a little bit???” so instead of bill taking her over when he goes to she falls asleep ​
so dipper wasnt supposed to wake her up but he found her and fords notes and he and mabel went on an adventure
bill is all the villains 
billains 
so stan has to leave mabel and dipper in the woods (idk y it wasnt for long the twins are just impatient) so stan disappears and the twins are like “lETS EXPLORE THE WOODS”
they come across some creepy old house w a lot of spiderwebs (can u guess the villain yet?)
an older woman comes out and is like “why are you guys lost in the forest?”
mabel points to the glitter trail “we’re not lost”
dipper looks behind them ‘mabel!!! where’s all the glitter?!”
(ACTUALLY MAYBE ITS YARN???) 
so they lose the trail 
meanwhile stan is losing his fucking mind
he follows the stray glitter but it’s blown all over
he feels “LOST IN THE WOOOOODDDS!!!”
so the old lady offers for them to stay the night bc its getting late
dipper is SUPER sus but he plays it cool surprisingly
mabel is So In!
long short...stan eventually saves them from darlene’s trap
usually shes just a maneater but look
when u live in the woods u do what u can
so stan hauls them back to their cottage
dipper knew there was weird shit out there but he wants MORE
he starts going through his great-uncle’s journals (*cue the dipper squee*)
he reads about bill and his deal w paz’s parents
he’s like....’maybe we should rescue her?’
ford wont tell him why they cant
so dipper and mabel sneak out
they steal the grunkles’ boat
mabel falls over board???
dipper tries like HELL to save her
but then he sees mermando save her
SO MABEL IS SAVED BY MERMANDO!!! 
gideon (who had long-loved mabel from afar) finds out
he visits the merman to trick him
all mabel remembers is his voice
so YES mermando trades his voice for legs just like the movie
sue me okay w his distinct accent it makes sense!!!
so the twins get sidetracked bc mermando shows up out of nowhere
they dock on a small island for a pit stop and thats when ‘kiss the girl’ happens
they dont kiss so they move on
they dock on another stretch of land the next day
AND GIDEON APPEARS
the twins have only heard about him from their grunkles so mabel hears his voice and goes *heart eyes*
mermando is Distressed
dipper is Focused on getting to this sleeping princess
mabel makes fun of him for liking her
SO GIDEON HAS MERMANDOS VOICE!
at one point dipper catches him w/o the amulet that makes him sound like mermando
and he tells mabel and its kinda like “the hand that rocks the mabel” or whatever the ep was called
it takes dipper and mermando being threatened (and gideons voice slipping) for her to catch on and she breaks up w him
dipper wants to throw him overboard
they just leave him on the next inhabited island they find
mermando got his kiss but decides to go back to the ocean anyway
he promises to write
mabel is Sad
SO BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED ADVENTURE!
the twins come across a land near the one paz is on and decide to stop for food and to stretch their legs and other hygiene things
they find out there’s some archery thing going on and mabel is like ’ooooh can we try?!’
turns out its for neighboring kingdoms’ princes to win a princess
mabel and dipper think this is RIDICULOUS so they crash it
mabel steps up to shoot and everyone’s like ‘wHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?’
then dipper steps up beside her. neither of them have shot a bow before
they shoot at the same time. mabel’s like thisclose to the bullseye. dippers too far right
THEN!!! PRINCESS WENDY COMES OUT OF NOWHERE
DIPPER AND MABEL ARE IN AWE OF THIS VALKYRIE. THEYRE BOTH READY FOR HER TO KILL THEM BC THEY THINK ITLL BE AWESOME
but wendy is like ‘ACTUALLY ILL SHOOT FOR MYSELF THANKS’ and splits like three arrows down the middle w her accuracy
she looks at mabel and dipper and is like ‘u dudes look fun! ive never seen u before who are u???’
and they’re like ‘WELL!’ and launch into detail about their adventure w overlapping voices and sound affects and VAST description
anyways. i cant decide how old people are rn okay 
so wendy is like “hey dad??? im going on an adventure w these guys!” and her dad is like “unusual but u DID just win ur own hand. so ill allow it”
“YES! can i take soos too?!” 
“sure!”
sO THEYRE OFF AGAIN!!! lemme tell u the ship is filling faST!!!
they get to paz’s land. and the first thing they find is a girl in a tower with long purple hair.
everyone is pretty much just making ‘wtf’ faces for like....ten minutes.
finally wendy calls up the tower like “YO! WHATS W ALL THE HAIR?!”
tambry leans out the window w a bored expression and goes “its mine. im tambry. who r u?”
they introduce themselves and are like “u wanna come on our adventure?”
then....ROBBIE APPEARS!
and he knows where the princess is!!!
”oh yeah. her. shes also in a tower. its got a door but its guarded by gnomes.”
then robbie climbs tambrys hair pecks her cheek and ducks in the tower
they decide to head for the tower robbie directed them to. but they have to pass the castle. Northwest Castle
robbie warned them about the northwests. said that the princess was one and before she disappeared she was the snottiest brat hed ever met
so they became friends despite the fact that he plays music for a living (and not very well either)
her parents told her of the spell when she was twelve
so robbie’s like “they are not nice people and neither was she??? most of the townsfolk are glad shes asleep tbh”
but dammit! dipper came here for an adventure!!! he wasnt going to stop just bc the princess wasnt what he expected!
so they continue on!
mabel is like “maybe she doesnt KNOW how to be nice!”
and soos is just excited to be there!
and wendy is just...u kno...chill
they start to get close to the castle and they feel like they’re being watched
and then soos notices the PEACOCKS!
they assume theyre spies for the king and queen. which is half true?
they can also warn bill if someone is near pacifica
oh damn imagine that
being stuck asleep w a DREAM DEMON in ur head
sorry for the accidental psychological torture paz
WHICH IS THE ONLY TORTURE SHES HAD!
i think to make up for risking her life as a baby ther parents were like “we’re just gonna spoil u rotten and PRETEND u do no wrong eVERYTHING IS FINE”
so dipper is reading the journal and he FINALLY gets to the true loves kiss part of the deal
and he looks around at the party like “oh shit true love what do we do???”
mabel suggests he at least try and everyone agrees that yeah okay thats the back up plan
but dipper wants to use a SPELL!!!
so the king and queen see him w the journal and remember ford having the same one
so everyone is brought to the king and queen
theyre like “pRINCESS GWENDOLYN?!”
bc this is MY STORY and if i wanna give wendy a more princess-y name thEN I WILL
i say as i continue to refer to mason as DIPPER!!!
SO THEYRE MEETING THE NORTHWESTS!!!
wendys like “yes that is me the princess” and then everyone else introduces themselves...w dipper introducing himself as mason bc it just sounds more fairytale-y
soos is jesus (hey zeus! not jee sus)
soos is like....wendys bff/personal servant but mostly bff
so they explain their adventure to the northwests as quickly as possible
preston is no patient man and he’s is like “tbh its probably important she be here for her 18th bday soooo??? as long as she wakes up by next year why not???”
but only bc dipper was like “i wANNA USE MAGIC I DONT WANNA KISS HER THATS PLAN B!!!”
plus u kno...even if he DOES whats the guarantee itll work???
the guarantee is me being a filthy shipper tHATS WHAT!!!
so they continue to the tower!
there is probably a sidequest thingy with giffany bc i liked that episode
also soos needs more screentime im sorry
SO THEN!!! FINALLY!!!! THEY MAKE IT TO THE TOWER!!!
WHICH IS!!!
IN FACT!!!
GUARDED
BY
GNOMES!]
also theres a manotaur/multi-bear sidequest i just thought of bc i like THAT episode!!!
is this gf, a fairytale, sk.yrim, or a d.n.d campaign now??? WHO KNOWS!!! ITS NOT ME!!!
SO THEY GOTTA GET PAST THE GNOMES!
first they offer safe passage in exchange for mabel as their queen
after thats declined theyre like “or the redhead. well take her!”
this is also declined
finally jeff tells them to attack
at first the party tries to fight them off and they do okay
uNTIL SOME GNOME WEAPONIZED SCHMEBULOCKS RAINBOW PUKE!!! (i think it’s toxic tbh but i dONT REMEMBER)
finally mabel just pulls out her trusty crosSbow (aka “GRAPPLING HOOK!”) and they just make a tightrope to the window above the door
wendy goes first and NAILS it
then everyone else follows
soos almost falls and gets left to the gnomes but everyone helps him balance and they all make it through the window
coincidentally. the window leads to the princess’s room
OH MAN WHY DIDNT I USE THE PTERODACTYL?!
oh well. anyways.
everyone is looking around the room and like...taking it all in
dipper takes a moment...then walks over to the princess
he isnt sure if waking her will also wake the demon
crossover even more w my old paciphera au??? idk probably not
so dipper tries the spells he narrowed it down to
none of them work
all his friends have returned to the princess’s room and mabel is like “u gotta kiss her brobro!”
so dipper...poor poor dipper...just leans forward and kisses her
paz pretty much snaps her eyes open when dipper is a half inch from her face while he’s pulling back 
and even tho she was forewarned she wasnt expecting DIPPER so she SCREAMS
dippers ears are ringing
she shuts her eyes and stills her breathing and sits up.
AND SEES EVERYONE ELSE AND SCREAMS AGAIN
“i dIDNT EXPECT U TO BRING *FRIENDS*!”
so once shes a little more calm they explain the whole adventure to her
paz feels a little honored they came all this way just for her
also since True Love beats everything bill is like.....back in his home dimension. also paz has been fighting him for like....over a year.
so paz is like....ready to Go. u kno. just wants to go HOME.
they get pazs shit together and exit the tower through the door
she says goodbye to the gnomes. all by name.
“oh yeah mom and dad made them my personal guard when i was like...eight. theyve been prepping for this my whole life. they’ll meet me back at the castle.” so then she starts telling them about herself and her last like 
two years of being asleep w a DREAM DEMON
“sometimes i got the weirdest nightmares??? and they never ended. but when i woke up i couldnt remember anything specific.”
she and dipper talk away from the group. he tells her about how hes her true love and everything “okay well. we’ll have to lie to my parents and say it was a spell. bc they will NOT approve of us being true loves and if they hurt you...”
“then they hurt *you* too!” dipper finishes (idk maybe a combo w a soulmate au thing?)
meanwhile mabel is like...whining about boy problems??? and wendy is like “this is y boys r dumb.”
soos is like...wandering off. I WANNA INCORPORATE MELODY BUT WHO SHOULD SHE BE?!
paz and dipper start like....arguing about how to deal w her parents
apparently they actually ARENT that nice. if she doesnt marry a prince they’ll give her over to bill completely...or something idk
SO theyre nearing the castle!!!
theyve written theyre grunkles okay no worries. also mermando.
thats y mabels complaing about boys.
mermando and that manatee wife of his!!!
paz is not exactly ready to face her parents so she convinces the party (roll for charisma) to go the long way
which is actually just circles
anyways
we run back in to melody and soos and the party is like ‘wHOOPS WE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE GLAD U DIDNT GET EATEN BY A SPIDER LADY!
maybe melody is like....a fairy???
something light and ‘childish’ bc thatd fit her personality
soos is like “ive BEEN here. u dudes have been going in circles.” and everyone glares at paz.
“im sorry!!! i just dont want to go back!!!”
“ur dad made us promise to have u back for ur 18th bday.” says dipper while he tries to stay mad at his future wife
paz is like “YEAH SO HE CAN MARRY ME OFF TO A PRINCE!!!”
idk why paz and dips are being better at being soulmates here okay i was like....sleep-drunk when i first wrote this
so the party has a choice to make.
take paz back home where she wont be able to be w her TL (which in some cases has probably led to death) OR!!!
sneak her out and take her home w them?!
wendys probably gotta go back to her own kingdom tho.
and soos wants to stay w melody
U KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED?!
sTAN NEVER GOT TO BE SOOS’S DAD!!!!
SORRY SOOS!!!
so anyways
mabel and dipper decide to help her sneak out
luckily she knows all the blindspots
it takes longer but they finally make it back to their ship
they say theyre goodbyes to soos and melody and paz wishes them well in her kingdom. she promises to return when shes ready to rule
they load the ship and sail to wendys kingdom next
they stay a few days to recuperate
paz has trouble sleeping bc when she does the nightmares come back.
cue a kat.niss/pee.ta thing where paz sleeps next to dips bc it keeps the nightmares away
wendy has to explain why soos isnt w them to her dad who kinda shrugs it off?
“u proved u can protect urself.” or something.
after like.....a whole fucking year the twins are heading home.
paz and dipper sleep together on the ship too bc its just fucking easier
paz is nervous to meet the grunks
she and dipper arent exactly....dating??? its def more like soulmate au
where theyre AWARE theyre supposed to be together but they dont even rly know if they WANT to be together.
paz is p much “i dont rly wanna be w anyone else. ill let u kno if that changes.” and dips is like “tbh same.”
mabel is already planning a big royal wedding.
iDK Y BUT I WANT THEM TO FIND OUT THEYVE BEEN ROYALTY ALL THIS TIME??? probably just bc i LOVE that trope!!! but theyre not so its whateves.
so they FINALLY get home. mabel has been writing letters this whole time. to mermanso. to soos and melody. to wendy.
shes the captain of the dip.ifica ship and shes gotta keep her crewmembers in the know!!!
the twins also wrote to the grunks the whole time so!!!! no worries!!!
paz tries writing to her parents...but she can never find the right words.
meeting the grunks isnt as bad as she thought???
stan loves her off the bat. partially bc shes rich and bc she doesnt take shit
ford is pleased to meet the girl he saved and shes v v thankful to him for saving her life as best he could.
it takes her like a YEAR to write the letter.
she promises her parents she’ll return. AFTER shes married.
at this point she and dipper ARE together. they figured all theyre confusion out and are just living the good life!
mabel and wendy are doing the long distance thing. shes still friends w mermando.
robbie and tambry found paz and they write back and forth.
u CAN TAKE ROBBIE AND PAZ SIBLINGS FROM MY DECOMPOSING HANDS!!!
everything is as happily ever after as it can get.
and then dipper proposes despite knowing what it means.
BUT THATS A WHOLE OTHER ADVENTURE!!!!
*end credits roll. an epic theme song starts playing*
2 notes · View notes
ua-himiko · 5 years
Text
x9.18
@ua-touya 12:42 PM
damn, you hero school brats really are sure of yourself, huh?
ua-himiko 12:44 PM
you have no right to try and look down on us when you cant even take five minutes out of your busy schedule to help someone who is supposed to be your FRIEND
ua-touya 12:45 PM
listen, if i could have helped you, i wouldve, alright?
ua-himiko 12:45 PM
whatever
ua-touya 12:46 PM
yeah, whatever.
@ua-todoroki 4:14 PM
Wtf.
ua-himiko 4:15 PM
what
ua-todoroki 4:15 PM
Who are you.
@ua-chargebolt  4:15 PM
What just... happened?
ua-himiko 4:16 PM
lol ypu
ua-todoroki 4:16 PM
Great answer.
@ua-stopwatch 4:16 PM
lots of things happened, kaminari
ua-himiko 4:16 PM
ew ur back
my names miko who r u
ua-todoroki 4:17 PM
Todoroki Shouto.
ua-himiko 4:17 PM
wha,,,
real funny haha joke but like actually tho..
ua-chargebolt  4:17 PM
Well. I figured that, ,Damien... I mean.... new people now? What's goin on?
ua-todoroki 4:17 PM
...?
Yeah.
That's who I am.
ua-stopwatch 4:18 PM
she waltzed in the chat and started degrading people last night.
ua-chargebolt  4:18 PM
Huh.
ua-himiko 4:18 PM
lol bro... i get it ur edgey lulz but lykeeee im not falling for that i wasnt born yesterday
ua-todoroki 4:18 PM
?????
ua-chargebolt  4:18 PM
Who... are you?
ua-stopwatch 4:19 PM
..
ua-himiko 4:19 PM
:/ i just said my name was miko... do i need 2 go full name or what
ua-todoroki 4:19 PM
[pic of his ID]
ua-stopwatch 4:19 PM
please. If you don't mind.
ua-chargebolt  4:19 PM
lol, Miko, sounds like the main character for some anime-
ua-himiko 4:19 PM
uh real cool prop i guess I LUV ANIME xD
ua-todoroki 4:20 PM
Wtf.
:/.
ua-himiko 4:20 PM
its a cute nickname tho rite???? lololol but yea its short for toga himiko yeah
ok i showed u mine now show me urs edgey weirdo cuz im not fallin for this troll attempt rite here
ua-chargebolt  4:21 PM
Why's that name ring a bell...
ua-stopwatch 4:21 PM
it does. Doesn't it.
ua-chargebolt  4:21 PM
What's the big deal tho, he already said his name...
ua-himiko 4:21 PM
eh i was on the news once it aint no thang we dont talk about that lol
ua-todoroki 4:21 PM
I already told you.
ua-chargebolt  4:21 PM
lol
ua-himiko 4:21 PM
bro...
ua-stopwatch 4:21 PM
Miko, what's your quirk if you don't mind my asking
ua-chargebolt  4:21 PM
I'm Kaminari Denki btw but like
what's the hangup about Shouteroki's name?
ua-himiko 4:22 PM
:/... its called TRANSFORM idk why that matters tho
ua-chargebolt  4:22 PM
are you a transformer
ua-himiko 4:23 PM
cuz like??????????? todoroki shoutos been dead for like half a decade or whatever so pretending 2 be some famous dead kid is fuckin weird and dumb like... hello
ua-touya 4:23 PM
what
ua-himiko 4:23 PM
eveyrone knows that its not new info
ua-todoroki 4:23 PM
What.
ua-stopwatch 4:23 PM
..what
ua-chargebolt  4:23 PM
HAH??????
ua-himiko 4:23 PM
????????????????????
ua-stopwatch 4:23 PM
he's not-
ua-touya 4:23 PM
what do you mean he died? how?
ua-stopwatch 4:23 PM
..y'know what...she might be one of the alternates
ua-chargebolt  4:23 PM
lol what kinda AU is this
ua-todoroki 4:23 PM
What the fuck.
ua-himiko 4:24 PM
like it was a while ago but like everyone knows about this so wtf :////
ua-chargebolt  4:24 PM
You uh... a zomble there Todo?
ua-stopwatch 4:24 PM
Miko, I can assure you, that this todoroki isn't dead
ua-chargebolt  4:24 PM
Physically anyway
ua-todoroki 4:24 PM
What the fuck.
ua-stopwatch 4:24 PM
like I said. Maybe an alternate?
ua-himiko 4:24 PM
alternate of what
p-mina 4:24 PM
oooh!!!! Like me!!!!
ua-stopwatch 4:24 PM
have you heard of the multiverse theory?
ua-himiko 4:25 PM
it was like a biiiiiiiig case his mom like went crazy and off'd him like bruh
ua-chargebolt  4:25 PM
W H A T
ua-himiko 4:25 PM
the what
ua-touya 4:25 PM
she what??
ua-himiko 4:25 PM
?????? hello
ua-chargebolt  4:25 PM
WHOMST?
ua-stopwatch 4:25 PM
the multiverse theory.
p-mina 4:25 PM
D:
ua-stopwatch 4:25 PM
or rather, the string theory
ua-todoroki 4:25 PM
...
ua-himiko 4:25 PM
fuckin google it oh my god cmon its like
h/o i'll just get an article this is so dumb
ua-chargebolt  4:25 PM
YOU google it...
ua-touya 4:26 PM
there's not going to be an article, batsy
ua-himiko 4:26 PM
dont rush me omg im working on it...
ua-todoroki 4:26 PM
Who.
ua-stopwatch 4:26 PM
in our string of the multiverse, todoroki isn't dead.
ua-todoroki 4:26 PM
Wait.
Wait.
ua-himiko 4:26 PM
u keep sayin multiverse like i kno wtf that is i dont even watch scifi im not a nerd
ua-chargebolt  4:27 PM
There's like multiples of... us
ua-himiko 4:27 PM
nothing is coming up ugh fuck u google
ua-stopwatch 4:27 PM
because in this universe, he's alive.
ua-todoroki 4:27 PM
[Todoroki is offline]
ua-chargebolt  4:27 PM
I mean, have you noticed anything else strange to you lately, Miko?
ua-himiko 4:27 PM
ur fuckin with me lol 'this universe'
ua-stopwatch 4:27 PM
no I'm not. I don't "fuck" with people.
ua-himiko 4:27 PM
not rly????????? kind of been busy havin the worst day evar actually
@ua-syren 4:28 PM
[iris is online]
is she gone yet?
ua-chargebolt  4:29 PM
Who?
ua-syren 4:29 PM
that other toga.
I blocked her so I can't tell
ua-himiko 4:30 PM
who what? oh fuck i cant see whats getting sent thats lame
tell whoever she better not be talkin SHIT
ua-chargebolt  4:30 PM
Chillllllll, Mi-channnnn~
ua-syren 4:31 PM
..you're friends with her now aren't you
ua-stopwatch 4:31 PM
it seems so, cohen
ua-touya 4:31 PM
jeez.. you kids really know how to attract drama, huh?
ua-himiko 4:31 PM
michan ^w^
ua-syren 4:31 PM
and who're you?
ua-himiko 4:31 PM
fuckin shut up bitch go away
ua-touya 4:31 PM
me?
ua-syren 4:32 PM
yes you.
ua-touya 4:32 PM
what's it matter to ya, kiddo?
ua-himiko 4:32 PM
lulz i like how poseroki stopped talking once i outed him on his sherade lol
knew he was full of shit
ua-touya 4:33 PM
i doubt he was faking
ua-himiko 4:33 PM
i wasnt askin U bitch
ua-chargebolt 4:33 PM
Who are you, tho?
@ua-kuroiro 4:33 PM
He's not faking, we go to school together
ua-syren 4:33 PM
don't call me that.
ua-himiko 4:33 PM
anyway real talk thats an important part of hero history you guys should reeeeeally know that if you're trying to be heroes....
ua-kuroiro 4:34 PM
I just saw him this morning
@ua-redriot 4:34 PM
hes a pretty cool guy!! Pretty sure hes still alive!
@ua-sakku 4:34 PM
Oh...is the new person a senpai?
ua-kuroiro 4:34 PM
He hangs out with monoma.
ua-syren 4:34 PM
no.
ua-himiko 4:34 PM
:/
ua-chargebolt 4:34 PM
He's definitely alive. Lil dead on the inside maybe but like.... maybe we all are at this stage so, valid
ua-touya 4:34 PM
seriously, why are you kids so curious about me anyways?
ua-syren 4:35 PM
because we don't know you.
ua-sakku 4:35 PM
Oh wait two people.
ua-himiko 4:35 PM
hes a loser forget him
ua-sakku 4:35 PM
wild.
ua-himiko 4:35 PM
he shouldnt even be here anyway go get some actual friends hoe
ua-sakku 4:35 PM
Woah, Miko is cool.
ua-touya 4:35 PM
im not surprised you dont know me...
ua-chargebolt 4:35 PM
Why're you so mad at him? What he do?
ua-kuroiro 4:35 PM
His friend isnt here right now.
ua-syren 4:36 PM
of course we don't know you. Are you going to tell us or no?
ua-kuroiro 4:36 PM
Well, one of them
ua-touya 4:36 PM
touya todoroki.
ua-himiko 4:36 PM
i licherally called him ALL NITE cuz i was like stranded in the middle of the road and he completely ghosted me out of NOWHERE like a bitch and then denied it all morning and tried to act like we werent friends so i GUESS we're not FRIENDS ANYMORE
ua-syren 4:36 PM
..
ua-chargebolt 4:36 PM
Touya what now?
I'm so confuuuuuuused right noowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
ua-todoroki 4:37 PM
[Todoroki is online]
..
ua-himiko 4:37 PM
which is why its a LITTLE FUNNY that ur sititng here defending ppl licherally trying to rp as your brooooooooooooooooooooo when im licherally rite here like honestly if hes just paying u guys to mess with me its a low fxckin blow
ua-todoroki 4:37 PM
You're not Touya.
ua-chargebolt 4:37 PM
Who TF is Touy--
Oh hey Shouteroki.... you OK?
ua-todoroki 4:37 PM
I don't know.
ua-himiko 4:38 PM
real talk im about to f x c k i n scream if you all dont stop MESSING with me GOD
ua-syren 4:38 PM
...I'm gonna believe Todo for now..
ua-himiko 4:39 PM
making me feel like im goin fucking crazy its rly not funny i hate this
ua-todoroki 4:39 PM
Touya's been gone for years. Idk. There's rumors he killed himself.
ua-himiko 4:39 PM
??????????????????????
ua-syren 4:39 PM
...
ua-touya 4:39 PM
ah, i was wondering about that...
ua-todoroki 4:39 PM
...
ua-himiko 4:39 PM
...
ua-chargebolt 4:39 PM
Michannnnn.... seriously, it seems liek you're from another universe...
ua-todoroki 4:39 PM
What's going on.
ua-kuroiro 4:39 PM
This shit's a lot, I'm gonna go spend time with my lizard.
ua-himiko 4:39 PM
but that makes no sense...
ua-syren 4:39 PM
the multiverse is back at it
ua-chargebolt 4:39 PM
You'renot crazy but damn this is
ua-kuroiro 4:40 PM
[Kuroiro is offline]
ua-stopwatch 4:40 PM
as Cohen said. Multiverse.
ua-chargebolt 4:41 PM
We've met alternates before....
@ua-ryuu 4:41 PM
whats going on
ua-redriot 4:41 PM
so you're both from a different universal ?
ua-chargebolt 4:41 PM
Like there's a version of me without a quirk and is in college...
ua-stopwatch 4:41 PM
ry. Have you heard of the multiverse theory?
ua-himiko 4:41 PM
this is unbelievable...
ua-ryuu 4:41 PM
yeah of course
ua-chargebolt 4:41 PM
Which means you're a version of someone we have here.... ig
ua-redriot 4:42 PM
..yeah
ua-stopwatch 4:42 PM
basically. It's not exactly a theory anymore.
It's fact. And our portion seems to be like the..middle ground of them all
ua-ryuu 4:42 PM
Ahhh
ua-chargebolt 4:42 PM
LIKE MIDGARD, OOH!
ua-touya 4:42 PM
well, the version of me from here is dead, obviously
ua-ryuu 4:42 PM
I was reading back, somthing about Todoroki-Sensei?
ua-himiko 4:43 PM
so ur gonna seriously act like this is a real thing, touya???
ua-stopwatch 4:43 PM
these new people are not from out universe. They're from another part of the multiverse respectively.
ua-ryuu 4:43 PM
Huh. Cool. If they weren't so mean I might talk to them more. @ua-himiko  see I can @ bitches
ua-touya 4:44 PM
it's not the worst thing to believe, i guess
ua-himiko 4:44 PM
fuckin congrats dipshit
ua-chargebolt 4:44 PM
I guess that makes Michan outta this world? 😜 👉👉
@p-ashido 4:44 PM
you're like me!!!!! That's so cool!!!!
ua-chargebolt 4:44 PM
haha...
ua-himiko 4:44 PM
this is so stupid...
ua-redriot 4:44 PM
this is so COOL
p-mina 4:44 PM
Do you wanna be friends? O:
ua-touya 4:44 PM
sounds like one of shimura's video games, but really it's not that hard to see...
ua-stopwatch 4:45 PM
...this chat is causing a major headache...
ua-himiko 4:45 PM
ten's video games are fucking stupid tho
no i dont wanna be friends with ANY of you cuz you're all dumb weirdos who wanna lie to me about dumb shit
ua-chargebolt 4:45 PM
Who's... Shimura....
ua-touya 4:46 PM
tenko shimura, he's a pro hero i work with
p-mina 4:46 PM
Whats your world like??? Mine is violent!!
ua-touya 4:46 PM
or... worked with
ua-stopwatch 4:46 PM
huh..
ua-himiko 4:46 PM
its the same world as everybody's, stfu...
ua-chargebolt 4:47 PM
Well... I've been given to understand that some universes are more violent than others... that's what Miku said...
ua-stopwatch 4:47 PM
sorry for being hostile towards you and Miko. It wasnt "cool" of me 
I'd love to hear more about your respective universes though
p-mina 4:47 PM
That was so mean :( It's okay though!
ua-himiko 4:47 PM
i don't have a respective universe. oh my god.
ua-touya 4:47 PM
obviously you do, considering i supposedly killed myself here and shouto's dead where you're from
ua-himiko 4:48 PM
...
ua-chargebolt 4:48 PM
I mean, we all have superpowers, is multiverse so hard to believe?
Maybe multiverse is osmeone's quirk idk
ua-himiko 4:49 PM
never heard of a quirk like that...
ua-stopwatch 4:49 PM
that's an interesting theory
p-mina 4:49 PM
that'd be scary!
ua-touya 4:49 PM
there's a lot of quirks we've never heard of before, that's the whole problem with em
ua-himiko 4:49 PM
...
ua-todoroki 4:52 PM
...
ua-stopwatch 4:53 PM
.
ua-chargebolt 4:53 PM
Are you OK, Todo?
ua-todoroki 4:53 PM
I hate this.
ua-himiko 4:54 PM
=_= don't exactly love it either
ua-todoroki 4:54 PM
...
It's insane.
There's so many...
ua-himiko 4:55 PM
...
ua-todoroki 4:55 PM
Why couldn't you have gone anywhere else.
ua-syren 4:55 PM
hey...it'll be okay
ua-todoroki 4:55 PM
Yeah, I'm sure a bunch of weird people from alternate universes running around will be okay.
ua-syren 4:56 PM
eventually it will..
ua-todoroki 4:56 PM
Lol.
Ok.
ua-himiko 4:56 PM
is2g i'm gonna start stabbing people if i hear the phrase 'alternate universe' again
ua-todoroki 4:57 PM
I'm gonna start stabbing myself if one more person has to make me say it.
ua-himiko 4:57 PM
do it then edgey bitch
ua-syren 4:57 PM
that joke is not allowed
ua-stopwatch 4:57 PM
Miko. Be nice.
ua-chargebolt 4:57 PM
Why does anyone have to stab things....
ua-himiko 4:57 PM
don't tell me what to do
ua-stopwatch 4:57 PM
-_-
ua-todoroki 4:58 PM
...
ua-touya 4:59 PM
it could be worse or whatever
ua-ryuu 4:59 PM
Well, this went off the rails real fast
ua-todoroki 4:59 PM
Whatever.
ua-syren 4:59 PM
it's not the first time
ua-stopwatch 4:59 PM
... yeah..
You're not wrong ry
ua-todoroki 4:59 PM
Message me if you want.
[Todoroki has left the chat]
8 notes · View notes
cxgan · 5 years
Text
Blizzard (Like This)
SHIP: Cegan [Carl/Negan]
SUMMARY: S9 finale fix-it. Carl never died, Rick never got lost. Carl is stuck at Alexandria watching his siblings during the storm. Carl and Negan talk while everyone sleeps. 
WARNINGS: mild language, angst, fluff
W/C: 1,962
A/N: Idk where this came from because I haven’t had muse in awhile. Honestly this just started because I wanted a big old spoon chain with my babies. And of course wanted Carl alive, duh. THE FINALE WE DESERVED. Please let me know what you think. Comments > just likes and reblogs.
They had never had a blizzard like this. 
Sometimes it snowed, sure. An inch or two here or there during the winter months. But aside from bundling up and having a few more fires, there wasn't much else they needed to do. Maybe the climate was finally changing after all of these years without society barreling down on the world. Maybe they were due for another ice age. Whatever it was, Carl didn't like it. He especially didn't like it knowing that his dad and Michonne weren't home during it. That they were out helping the Kingdom get to Hilltop after the community had finally crumbled. It wasn't that he didn't care for them - of course he did - but being out in this bad of a storm wasnt a good idea for even the most hardened of warriors. 
And here he was. Stuck in the council hall doing nothing but trying to keep warm and watch over his siblings. He felt so... useless. Felt like he needed to get out there and do something. 
"Don't be a dumb ass, you know they're alright." A voice broke him from his thoughts and he looked up. Negan, sitting on the floor with his back pressed into a cot. Looking far too casual for how cold it was. 
"I'm not worried," he snapped from where he was sitting on a large mattress. 
"Yeah, 'n I'm Princess Diana," the former savior said with a snort, rubbing at his wrists where he had been handcuffed moments before. Carl had taken them off the second everyone else had fallen asleep. He wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to be around the love of his life when he wasn't behind bars (did he really just think love of his life? Gross.). Negan reached out with his foot and kicked at Carl's own boot, receiving a one eyed glare in return. "Seriously, they ain't stupid enough to stay out in this hell," he gestured to everything around them. "Yer pops probably chucked them all into some smelly ass old barn for the night. They'll be fine."
"I said I'm not worried," Carl snapped again. When Negan gave him a look he rolled his eye. "Whatever," he retorted before pulling his coat around himself further and resisting the urge to shiver. They had the fire, yeah, but it was still chilly. 
"Cold?" Negan asked.
"No, I'm warmer than I've ever been. Feel like I'm on a beach or something," he snarked, voice dripping with sarcasm. 
The older male simply chuckled at him. Carl didn't look over at him, but he heard him shift. "C'mere," he muttered. 
Carl looked up, surveyed the room around them. Everyone else had fallen asleep at least an hour ago. No one was really keeping watch with the storm going on outside. Only him and Negan were awake. He almost moved, shifted ever so slightly, but a warm, gloved hand that was pushed into his thigh almost slid off and he caught it right before it did. Half of RJ's body was pressed into his back, and Judith's hand (arms wrapped around her little brother) was resting on his thigh. He shook his head. "I can't leave them."
"Well then I'll come to you. That mattress looks a little warmer than this piece of shit," he gestured backwards to the cot. 
"You're sitting on the floor."
"Case in point, smart ass. Now go lay down while I make myself pretty." He watched the man move and stand up and Carl snorted, shaking his head as he himself stood up. He watched Negan for a moment, stand and flex his shoulders, stretch his arms. It probably felt good not to be confined to a tiny room with a shitty cot. His chest ached a bit at the fact that it had been almost eight years and the man was still locked behind bars. If only he had the balls to tell his dad how he really felt about the man things would be better. (Deep down, he knew his dad would be at least okay with it. He had to have caught on by now just how much time Carl spent with the prisoner, how much he did for him. Maybe they were both just hiding the truth from fear of losing one another. But Carl knew he'd never lose his dad.)
Negan caught him staring and lifted an eyebrow at him with a cocky smirk, causing Carl to shoot him an icy glare before turning around. He saw RJ shiver from loss of body contact and quickly moved to tuck the blankets on him up closer to his chin. He shifted Judith's hands to nestle further around the youngest boy and moved to the other side of the mattress. Well. Mattresses. It was a couple of them shoved together. 
He debated taking his boots off for comfort but decided to leave them on, figuring that was one of the main things keeping him warm. So he quickly lifted the thick wool blankets up and slid underneath them behind his sister. He stayed on his back while he got warm, not wanting to suck up against the young girl's back and leech off her body heat for his own benefit. 
He closed his eyes and let himself relax for a moment. Negan was right, as insufferable as his reminders were sometimes. His dad and Michonne were probably fine. They had survived this long; they knew what to do. He just needed to relax and take a few deep breaths. 
He was exhausted, after all. Spending the day wrangling a restless and cooped up RJ, making dinner, figuring out what the rest of them were going to do both during and after the storm. At least Judith was mature enough now to just sit in a corner and do homework while the rest of them worked. And he had to admit, her constant quips at Negan all day had been hilarious to witness. He heard the man mutter at one point that he hoped RJ left him alone when he got older, because 'two annoying Grimes children were enough to deal with on a daily basis'. Carl was proud. 
He felt movement to his left and opened his eye to see Negan spreading out his own coat on top of Judith and RJ. He bit his lip. "You don't..."
"Shut up, kid. They need it more than I do. And now I gotta hot little body to keep me warm all night, don't I?" he punctuated his words with a wink and Carl scoffed. 
"We're not doing anything next to my siblings, pervert. Now get under here before you freeze to death." He held the blankets up and Negan didn't have to be told twice, dipping down and scooting onto the mattress next to Carl. The boy turned on his side to face him, immediately wrapping his arm around his torso. Even with his other jacket and the stupid dark blue jumpsuit he was cold to the touch. He gazed up at the man, silhouetted by the fire in the dark. He had pulled on a beanie at some point in the last few minutes. 
"Why is it always about sex with you? Can't a man just wanna get his cuddle on and still appreciate the body he's cuddlin' with?" Negan quipped. 
"Always about sex? With me? You fuckin..." It took the man's low timbre of a laugh near his head to realize he was joking. Carl slugged him in the chest. "You're a dick," he muttered, sighing and laying his head on the man's shoulder. 
Negan finished his laugh and pressed a long kiss to Carl's forehead. "That's me." He stretched out and sighed, his body clearly not used to being on cushion. "Damn, you know how long it's been since I've been in a bed? Since we've..."
"Yeah," Carl muttered and cut him off, closing his eyes. It had been a very, very long time. Ages ago. He didn't want to think about that. Didn't want to think about just how long Negan had gone without normal human amenities during his sentence. Didn't want to think about how he hadn't begged Carl even once to try and convince his dad to let him out. Didn't try and get him to use their relationship for his own benefit. It just made Carl feel like an ass.
"Last time we were in a bed, yer dad slit my throat the next day. How fucked is that?" he said with a huff of laughter. Carl half-assed smacked him again. 
"Shut up. Don't you ever sleep? Just let me enjoy this."
"Alright, alright. Sorry, Sleeping Beauty." Another long kiss pressed to his forehead and Carl sighed in contentment. It had been a long time since they had been this close to each other. It felt almost wrong, despite the fact they had 'been together' for so long. Only inches apart by those fucking bars but god, sometimes it felt like miles. It felt good to be this close to him again.
Of course the man didn't actually shut up. "I know my dick was in yer mouth like, two days ago. But it feels weird holdin' you like this." And of course the man read his mind again like he always seemed to do. 
"It does," he agreed. He opened his eye and shifted upwards in the mans arms. Sighing, he pressed his forehead into the side of the man's head. "I'm gonna get you out of there for good soon." It was a statement. He was going to figure it out.  
"Don't worry about it, sugar. Got all I need down there. Bed, books, food. Judy visits, I got you - " 
"I'm serious."
For once, Negan didn't say anything. Didn't keep prattling on about how great his life was behind bars because they both knew he only ever did it to try and make Carl feel better. But Carl also hadn't ever made any sort of pledge to try and get him out before. Let alone soon. So instead of saying something, he heard the man swallow and then move to catch his lips in his own. It caught Carl off guard but he kissed him back with no less fury, only pulling back when it started to get a little too deep. 
Nothing else was said and Carl sighed, beat from the day, and slid back down to his normal height next to the man. Only instead of staying facing him he turned around. Thankfully Negan took the hint and turned with him until his back was flush up against the older man's chest, arms wrapped around the boy. Carl kept one hand clutched around the arms around him and scooted forward so Judith's back was to his chest, the fibers of her beanie tickling at his nose. 
"I love you, Carl." It wasn't something they said very often, which was odd considering how much Carl's family said it to each other. Maybe him and Negan were afraid of it, because whenever they did say it it was usually whispered in the dark in the middle of the night. And it was typically Carl that said it first. So Negan's soft admission caught him a bit off guard and he stared ahead of their little spooning chain, squeezing the former saviors hand a little tighter and biting his lip. 
"I love you too, idiot. Now go to sleep before I punch you there," he whispered, fearful anything louder would wake his incredibly light sleeper sister awake. 
Negan's chuckle rumbled against his back as the man buried his face into Carl's hair. "Whatever you want, baby boy."
He'd talk to his dad the second he got back. It was time.
59 notes · View notes
goddamnmuses-a · 4 years
Text
Dan Watches: Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope
Alright so I did this for Episode I which you can find here and then Episode II which you can find here and then Episode III which you can find here. So here’s my weird live reaction/note taking/whatever this is.. to Episode lV.
I remember this being my favourite of the original trilogy because it sets everything up and basically kick started everything but lets see if that changes when i’ve finally got through all of these. 
Also I’m just watching whatever version i can find online because I can’t be bothered to go and find my dvd of it so yeah.. whether we get weird updated version or original effects or whatever, who knows. 
All the old effects like how C3p0 looks and r2d2 are impressive. 
There wasn’t really anything in the opening crawl i felt like commenting on, no big THEY DID THAT IN THE OPENING? but i guess it’s the first one that came out so that makes sense. 
WTF did the stormtroopers use to get that door open, that was so explosive wtf.
Also the blasters are like set to 10000 and smoke is everywhere. 
How did nobody shoot the dorids?
Yooo little Ani nice suit my dude. 
Hold on, she sent a msg with r2 to go to Obiwan which for 1 howd she know he’s alive? I’m gonna presume her dad said or something and 2.. ..why not just.. go yourself? 
So when they’re set to stun a Stormtrooper can shoot someone no problem
Also we dont get enough stun weird circle blaster shots
Ohhhh she didnt go because the scan for lifeforms thing alright ill allow it
but my dude.. even so.. maybe just shoot it just in case? like.. droids exist and people know about them?
DARTH VADERS LITTLE HANDS ON HIPS! Omfg he’s like “God damn, this bitch again.”
This Vader is a sassy boy. 
I love this guy who works with Vader and doesnt mind chatting back to him. 
Loving the droids in the desert. 
R2 does not look like it would work in a desert. 
C3 like “He tricked me into going this way” stop being a lil bich. 
WOOTINI!
The crawler thingy is badass. 
I thought that was a magnet it was just a big sucky pipe. 
GONK
Oh yep theres the new effects. 
Droids sleep? I guess power saver mode. 
Wtf is that dome droid
Luke! Luuuuuke! Iconic 2 words there. Well reused for that episode of Rebels where Obiwan watches from a distance. 
Bocce.. what a classic language. 
OMG OWEN JUST LET HIM GO INTO TOSHE STATION TO PICK UP SOME POWER CONVERTERS JEEEEZ 
How is that “wasting time with friends” and not chores, going into town to get something sounds like a chore to me. 
Why did they get an atromech anyway? Like.. what’d they need the other droid for? 
C3 is a real bro lbh, if it wasn’t for him, R2 would be with the jawa still. 
Oooh oil bath. sexy. 
I wonder if people ship R2 and C3 because tbh it makes sense to me. 
Luke got an erection at the mention of the rebellion. 
Now it’s getting harder at that random blurry image of his sister. 
R2 is a cheeky lil shit. 
This is just some good home life shit. 
Dat soundtrack. 
You know what.. it’s a really nice home. 
Is it just me or is Owen dressed kinda Jedi-y. 
So is “Sand People” like the racist way to say “Tusken Raider”?
Obiwan, thats a ridiculous fucking noise. 
“Hello There” iconic. 
You know what the Prequels do add a lot to this. 
A young Jedi named Darth Vader.. im sorry.. thats just not a name. 
For someone who wants to get off the planet, Lukes like “Naa but i gotta get home”
Obiwan also just being like “You know what, fuck it here.. lets go.”
You know what as much of a bitch as that guy who gets force choked is, he’s a good actor. 
Also Tarkin yay. 
NOOOOO OWEN AND BERU! YOU BASTARDS!
I feel like he should have dropped to his knees or something there. 
That is a scary droid. 
Cool door close. 
Thats a weird ass CG droid with a hole in. 
None of the other storm troopers gonna wonder why Dave’s being weird? 
Wahey! Figrin Dan and the Model Nodes! Love that Jizz music. 
Who just ugs on the back of a bartenders shirt? Wtf Luke
Yo he didnt even pay for his drink, free drinks?
Who gets the death sentance in 12 systems and goes around bragging? 
The first arm cut off and theres all sortsw of blood which there shouldnt be because lightsabers cauterize the wound, tut tut. 
Gooood scene with Han and Obi, honestly i keep forgetting to comment because im just watching xD
Wahey! Greedo 
If we’re doing a han shot first thing.. Greedo shot first in this version and missed and then Han shot him but tbh i prefer the Han shot first.. makes him more interesting. 
Jabba looks smaller. 
Casual Boba Fett appearance. 
Yooo Poncho. My boy Cal approves. 
Fuck those weird long nose aliens. 
The Falcon looks so good. 
Get those poor guys by the Death Star laser a damn rail. 
We just cool with igniting the lightsaber in front of Han and Chewie? Chewie at least knows wtf it is.
Chewie is a badass. 
Let the Wookie win. 
WTF that isnt the lightspeed effect.. it’s like a weird blanket tunnel 
The fact they get onto the Death Star with no issue is kind of ridiculous. 
The motion of Darth Vader is kinda just.. not fitting right. 
Han just pat Chewie like hes a dog. Rude. 
Han just gets caught up in this without a choice rly. 
He just wants those sweet credits. 
Also Set Design on Star Wars is amazing. 
Leia just lounging all sexy like 
Also does she have a stain on her tit? .. Not that im looking >.>
The Jedi being called a religion is kinda weird but i guess accurate. 
This has to be the worst star to a friendship for all three of them. Chewie seems cool though. 
I also thought the trash compactor scene was earlier on in this movie than it is. 
Who the fucks voice was it that said “Thats your imagination” ? 
How the fuck are they standing if the water is that deep?
I liek the touch of the monster whos name im sure i learnt but forgot let go as if it knew the trash compactor was about to turn on, that implies it has a safe spot down there that it stays. 
Some of the voices sound off on this but ah well 
Hans already a little Handsy with Leia but i think Harrison Ford was sleeping with Carie at the time so like.. i get it. 
Obiwan just strolling about, as you do. 
I love just these giant pits with walkways with no rails. If I worked on the Death Star it’d be a nightmare for me to get around. 
“NO WAIT THEY’LL HEAR!” ...and they’re not gonna hear you shouting?
Stormtroopers just shooting the shit is the best. 
You know what with everyone being like “Wow that ships a shitheap.” I can understand why the prequels made their ships look nicer and newer. 
I love that shooting a door panel in star wars just makes it so the doors wont open at all, thats some good shit. 
Lukes as bad of a shot as a Stormtrooper. 
First little kissy incesty moment but hey it was on the cheek, universally thats fine but im sure at the time this was him setting up that Luke and Leia were gonna end up together, before he decided they were siblings. 
Vader just standing there, lightsaber already out like “Ahhh Mr.Kenobi I’ve been expecting you”
As lack luster as the chroeography is in this fight im kinda thinking of it as like, they’re reading each other, like Obiwan and Maul’s final fight. 
I don’t really know why Obiwan just chooses to die like that but heyo. 
Vader stomping on Obiwans clothes? Why? I guess because he gave himself to the force and thats the first time he’s seen that? 
I love the gunner seats moving around, idk why i just love it. 
Whats the point of the ear peices if they’re just gonna shout at each other. 
Not mentioned it until now but everyone says Leia wrong. 
They’re really harsh to Han tbf
This is like if you got an Uber to a place and then the Uber driver got pulled into a police station because you’re a terrorist and then you have a go at the Uber driver for wanting to leave after he’s got you out of there. 
Another kiss for Luke.. .. okay
I like how Biggs earlier scenes are deleted so when he shows up it’s just this random dude who somehow knows Luke
That air traffic control guy has no idea what hes doing, nobody is even in the air yet or moving, wait. 
Man X wings are cool, makes me think of Battlefronts VR mission thing where you get to pilot one and it’s the coolest VR thing ive done. 
For a space station the size of a moon you’d think they’d have enough fighters to just wipe out the rebels no biggy. 
ALSO if they know the rebel base is on that planet, why not just blow that planet up? 
YAY WEDGE
The targetting computer seems very invasive. 
Those turrets are useless. 
I would have rated it if they let that random dude blow up the Death Star.
Tarkins thinking face is beautiful. What a man, 
If Luke missed this shot, everyone knows he’s turned his targetting computer off, so they would be PISSED
RIP R2. 
HWHAT!? 
Woooo Mr.Solo. 
Well.. Well done Luke you killed a lot of people, some just trying to do a job and live their lives. 
Han, Leia and Luke all went off together all holding each other.. like.. Threesome? 
I’m sorry but after that, someones doing some fucking. 
Leia just giving her lovers, dont @ me, a medal. Thats why Chewie doesnt get one, he wasnt there for the orgy. 
R2 looking fresh. 
You know what, that is a good complete story that actually works on its own, i appreaciate that. 10/10. :P
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humankoalaa · 5 years
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freeland ive missed you!
BLACK LIGHTNING!
everytime a recap starts with thundergrace a child is fed. don’t @ me.
im not even 30 seconds in the damn episode and im already dying 🤣🤣 lala and this same damn tracksuit with the pinky ring. BRO… who are you 😩
the fact that LALA shows up with a gun in hand. like can we give him another entrance? and also how many times has he resurrected now? 🤦🏾‍♀️
jefferson calling lala latavius still gets me everytime 🤣 how many times has that man said his name is lala Jeff? huh?
LMAOOO i ain’t even finish the initial sentence and lala once again tells Jeff his name is lala!
lemme find out cress tryna grow his hair out.
okay okay resurrected twice. got it.
this beat in the background lit tho.
this ninja done shot super dad.
jenn would be tryna make her suit cute 🤣🤣🤣🤣
“i shouldn’t have to sacrifice style for practicality” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 i love jenn so much.
she’s seriously talking about nice fabric for her suit. i can’t. this is just so jenn and these writers are just brilliant!
that old suit tho… hot garbage 🥴😩
this lab scene is everything tho 😭 the power of jenn!
who is earl tho?
awh lawd they done resurrected the entire unintentional suicide squad 🤦🏾‍♀️
oh nevermind lala seeing shit again.
WHO IS EARL 😩
lol sit down lala that chair ain’t do shit to you
jenn is the realest 😭
anissa in tears breaking my heart 😭
“just go find grace” OKAY?! say it louder!
best little sister ever.
nafessa tho 😍
lmao that fast little daughter of yours 😂 okay lynn. OK.
christine got the best fade tho.
agent rafiki back on his bullshit.
agent yoda: “do you understand what im saying?”… lynn: “you don’t like dogs?” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
who. is. earl.
“i will shoot you straight in the face” 😂😂 this is the blackest thing that’s ever been said on the cw 🤣
i like don’t care about any of this tho…
finally some damn action from the great value suicide squad.
wardrobe department…. why y’all got cress in these tight ass pants tho? 😩
is that earl?
lol i forgot todd died.
agent extra terrestrial needs to die.
nafessa looking fye again 😩😍
wait…. i know damn well that’s not grace growling. shit it better not be 😩 im scared of what’s behind that door and Anissa isn’t suited up like 🥴
🤣🤣 “i can hear someone in here” first of all … anissa… does it sound like whatever is in there human? like are you not hearing these growls? welll she didn’t see grace malfunctioning right in front of her so im actually not surprised but still 😩
“or at least i could” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 AKA im not leaving till you open the door.
we got tobias speaking to portraits, lala speaking to his … conscience..s? and now anissa talking through a door to whatever was growling.. i miss anyone?.. oh and jenn talking to her laptop. k.
OMGG HE SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME HOW AGGRESSIVE HE OPENED THAT DOOR 😩 least it’s wasnt grace growling but if this is her brother errr.. relax.
he rude as hell.
“trouble will find you if you do not leave this place” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 the delivery took me out.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😩 that fly. where did that damn fly just appear from 😩
anissa so damn persistent. im here for this.
OH MY GOD
is she fucking glitching while shape shifting?! 😩 like what is she?! 😩😩
chantal looks beautiful 😭 well ..in her true… form?…. or .. well when she looks like grace. that hair is giving me life.
soooooo anissa now has no choice but to show up as thunder to save her girl who actually doesnt need saving from anyone… but herself 😭
oh hey earl. but like bye earl. this part of the episode is just annoying now 🙄 long ass drawn out ass scenes.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 but why earl look like a pokemon? snorlax to be exact.
jenn running in the lair excited for her suit 😭
THUNDER! LETS FUCKIN GOOOOOO!
lol more growling. like is grace just chillin inside her apartment as a lion? seems like something she would do.
i really wanna know how bad it smells in there tho 😂
WAIT. NEVERMIND. is that like a dead deer?
like is she just casually roaming around freeland with dead animals on her back or is she also a flying dinosaur with a invisibility cloak….
OMG wait 😩 this can’t be. no. just. NO.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 grace as this damn man and this voice i just can’t. im not mature enough for this.
OH NO SHE DID NOT
they really bout to fight!
there better be at least one thunderclap 😤
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤦🏾‍♀️ okay jet li. i can’t take “him” serious. was that a knife hand? 😂
thunder using her ponytail as a weapon is next level extra 😂
fuck his ass up thunder!
shit.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 look right 🤦🏾‍♀️🤣🤦🏾‍♀️😩🤦🏾‍♀️ i just 😭 let me get this straight… you mean to tell me grace knew damn well that was anissa and instead of being like … “let’s go back to your place and talk about this horizontally in the nude preferably” she opted to beat the breaks off thunder then….turn …into a.. growling black animal with a tail?… and just… jumped… … out.. the …. window?… what type of shit is that 😩
like what kind of woman lover are you grace. it’s only one thing im doing if i found out my girlfriend was essentially the baddest motherfucker in the city… ima pounce on that ass and get to hunching 🤷🏾‍♀️
it’s like they’re set on making grace the next lolo jones and the queen of hide and seek. jesus. when will this end? im tied y’all. TIED. JUST TELL HER!!!
JENN 🤣🤦🏾‍♀️
…. the fuck.
yeah this shits getting real weird.
this dude breath gotta smell like shit. baking biscuits in the corners of his mouth and shit 🤮 all that damn spit 😩
lol agent looking like everyone’s morning shit might’ve just played himself. whatcha gon do if they lied tho? how you gon find out who else they told now that you’ve killed them? i hope they were lying 😩😩😩😩
but all in all this episode was solid. too many long ass filler scenes with lala but whatever.
until next time…. i must end this with… grace being a useless bisexual and anissa being a useless lesbian match made in heaven 😍 i still can’t believe grace jumped out the damn window KNOWING it was anissa under the damn suit. smh that window deserved better.
WAYMENT… i just realized something…. anissas bout to be mad ass hell grace beat the shit out of her 😂😂 K N O W I N G L Y at that 😩 she did hold back tho… which may make anissa even madder 😂🤦🏾‍♀️
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hotshotshitshow · 5 years
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i guess just because ive been on a roll lately and also oversharing is my lifelong passion i want to verbal diarrhea a lil bit about my own experience of coming to the conclusion that im a lesbian so pls feel free to ignore if u want or whatever i just have Lots Of Thoughts and i just want to get them out. this gets sort of weirdly long winded and shouty and ranty so im sorry. catharsis!
even now i still feel some level of .... idk? shame? regret? i dunno. about the fact that i didnt come to the conclusion that i was a lesbian until i was 25 bc that feels so late to me even though i know for a fact that there are countless other people who came to similar realizations about themselves when they were much older than me.
and ngl there is even a little bit of envy that there are so many kids so much younger than me who seem so sure of their identities (even though i know there are loads of kids who arent sure!!!) and there are moments where i catch myself thinking of myself as “less of a lesbian” because i didnt allow myself to face the fact that i was one until fairly recently ..... and i am still learning so much and trying to cultivate my own identity and just all around see myself as “less experienced” (whatever the fuck thats supposed to mean) than others which undoubtedly is a part of the massive chasm that all my self confidence gets sucked into daily.
but like obviously its not like just BOOM one day i was like “from here on out i am a lesbian now!!!!!!! :)” bc even from a very young age i was always more drawn to women and could not wrap my head around the idea that someday i would have to marry a man and completely idealized my mom’s best friend who was a big burly woman who drove a truck and wore flannels and knew that i wanted to be just like her when i grew up and never ever marry a dude (which in retrospect was sort of weird because my mom usually hates women like that and i grew up with her periodically warning me to “stay away from fucking dykes theyre mean awful ugly women”)
and then the always confusing for everyone period of middle school where i dated a boy for three days before breaking it off because the whole situation gave me more anxiety than i could deal with but i just chalked it up to me being an emotionally immature teen but also being completely obsessed with my best girl friend and wanting to impress her and have her attention all the time and being unable to understand why i was so upset when she started dating some  guy and me just assuming that i was upset because i had a crush on him that id never realized i had before
and then id go home and spend hours online looking up content for my favorite shoujo-ai anime ships and talking with other wlw on the gaiaonline guild forums and asking them questions about how you knew if you were gay or not and if liking almost exclusively girl/girl ships meant you were gay and only being told in response “plenty of heterosexual girls like girl/girl ships!! youre the only one who can tell if youre gay or not!! :)” and just feeling completely confused and alone and having no idea what to think!!!! and then having one day that i remember very specifically where i had a shining moment of clarity for all of half an hour where i thought “i AM a lesbian!!!” and feeling so happy in that moment before my brain took over with the thoughts of “but what if you come across one particular guy sometime...... can’t rule out that possibility” but i knew i really wanted to be a lesbian but just could not allow myself to think i was one
and then fast forwarding up to undergrad where i briefly dated an online guy friend (hi) for like. a month? and then abruptly breaking that off in the worst way possible because i had no fucking clue what i was doing and once again chalked it all up to being emotionally immature and from that moment out identified as aromantic because i figured there was something fucking wrong with me and romance was just not something i could do!!!!! and thinking there was absolutely no fucking way i could be a lesbian and it was completely not even remotely an option because there were certain aesthetic things about men that i appreciated and also never once having had a “proper crush” on anyone or at least not one that i could identify because everyone always talked about love feeling like fireworks and something big and id never felt that for anyone ever so obviously that meant i was incapable of love!!!! so i shoved the whole notion of trying to figure myself out way way way down and didnt look at it for years afterwards 
until i got into graduate school and for some fucking reason my brain decided it was time to dig all that old shit back up and i SUDDENLY COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT AGAIN SCREAMS. and feeling more attracted to women than ever even though i always knew that i liked women 
and i still couldnt entertain the idea that i might be a lesbian because even though id been in a very happy relationship with beansly for a few years at that point and knew for a fact i was not aromantic there was still that thought of “Ok But What If You Meet One Guy Sometime”
and this sounds dumb as fuck but it wasnt until beansly straight up told me “if i had to label you id think you were a lesbian” that my brain went “what if theyre right” (TO WHICH I IMMEDIATELY WENT NOPE but acknowledged that the fact that they called me that made me feel really really good) (but kept thinking about that and kept bringing it back up to myself and ruminating over and over and over it) and then even more dumb as fuck i couldnt admit it to myself until i saw a fucking tumblr post that had something to the effect of “a common thing for lesbians who dont know theyre lesbians yet is that they really want to be a lesbian. its ok to be a lesbian” AND THEN I FUCKING CRIED LIKE A LITTLE FUCKING BABY AND HID UNDER MY BLANKIES but the fucking relief and validation my dude but then being presented with a whole new heap of Problems such as “how the fuck do i come out to people. everyone will think i am faking and Not Enough” and just having to deal with the struggle of owning that label and allowing myself to feel good about it and not let my brain convince me that i am somehow unworthy. and i am completely worthy because i love women and not men and thats the one fucking qualification i need to meet so my brain can go fuck itself into oblivion. ive spent so much time worrying over how much of myself i owe to men and holding myself back for a man that does not exist and will never exist and part of why i keep excitedly bringing up the fact that im a huge fucking lesbian is because in my mind its a huge testament to my personal progress and taking ownership over myself and no longer holding myself back over hypotheticals
so yeah anyway at the end of the day i still have so much more growing i need to do and i still see myself as a small shakey little chihuahua with a big mouth but i am a damn stronger person than i was even a year ago!!!! and learning that your attraction and what label you identify with is supposed to make you feel good was one of the best things i ever learned. i just really wish i could have had the self awareness or at least resources that i have now when i was younger and could have figured it out a little sooner. i know it doesnt make me “lesser” and technically i am still a very young person and have my whole life ahead of me but. idk i just wish id had it in me to be more honest with myself sooner. idk how other people can be so sure of themselves when they are so much younger. that just wasnt me i guess
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blaperile · 5 years
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Homestuck Epilogues - Meat - Page 4
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