#last time we had them in this verse so i figured i'd keep that going shdjks

[talentforlying]

@ohsunshine: ❛ Don't lecture me about family values. You're just as shit in that department as I am. ❜ / from roman lmao — HOUSE OF USHER STARTERS

it's a cattle prod to the synapses: a shock of sheer sheet lightning that seizes all the ligaments charged with the alignment of his spine, wraps them around its fist, and yanks it ramrod straight. for a moment, startled off-guard, there's nothing to him but the slaughter, the old blood of a generation past dripping down the siding like fresh, wet paint — automatic, incandescent rage.

the little fucking weasel.

' boo fucking hoo. ' it cracks out like a whip: unimpressed. unsympathetic. ' the mean man readin' you the riot act's got riots of his own, that about the long n'short of your prize-winnin' argument there, gobby? ' a fist prises itself loose to clap open-handed over his heart, satirically wounded, head tilting mockingly to one side. ' roman bleedin' roy's so virginal to the notion of hypocrisy that there's about to be three wise men paradin' up the street any bleedin' day now, is that right? you fuckin' infant. '

the anger is his new blood: scalding hot, pulsing out through every limb, leaking out of wounds both new and old like swamp gas. it's easier to be angry than it is to be scared — his father taught him that. maybe both their fathers taught them that. ( doesn't stop him from wanting to find that matching wound on roman and dig his fingers in and twist. )

' fuck me, i thought you were at least a little smarter than this. turnin' the bit that's got you nervous around on the other bloke — that's just fuckin' obvious. that's the kind of chickenshit thing people do when they're scared i could be onto them. ' his voice slides down in register, sharp edges ground down sleek and hypnotic; the blue of his eyes is future-tech electric, each pupil the black hole lens of a camera. SMILE! you're on tape. ' i am onto you, aren't i? middle child, youngest boy. scavenger animal. so shit-scared that you're nothin' and no one in a family full to the brim with someones, an' when they finally stop tossin' you scraps, you'll starve. '

there's something under that word that drags through his belly like a blade, and abruptly, sickeningly, he realizes that the low buzzing along the curvature of his skull is the cloying feeling of being sated — his rage desaturated, like an old heirloom photograph of itself, like he'd just been projecting the static image of something he'd borrowed from someone else. inherited from someone else.

CCTV eyes blink, and there's no watcher in the booth anymore; just someone turning the bit that's got them nervous around on the other bloke. fucking obvious.

' know how you stay fed, when you inevitably fuck it all up? huh? ' it's eerily even, disconnected. ' y'don't bite at the bigger fuckin' dog. 'cos i don't need to be better than you to still be right about you. get me? '

[alexanderlightweight]

How's it going? I saw the huge amount of prompts you got last week, and while the reader inside of me feels ecstatic to be able to read so much of your work, please let us know if it ever gets to be too much?

The prompt I had in mind (if it doesn't work for you no biggie, just ignore this ask) would actually fit in a lot of the 'verses you already made before.

I would love to read about Jace and Izzy suddenly realizing what their malicious callousness has cost them. No more big brother/parabatai to spoil them, to protect them, to take on the repercussions of their actions. Then, when that has truly sunk in, let them have a look at Clary and doubly realize that that is what they gave him up for.

Again, if this prompt doesn't feel up your alley, just let me know. I have a one-word backup prompt if need be 😉💜🖤💜🖤

your concern and worry is so sweet and i appreciate it! it's actually going very well, I am definitely going to take care of myself because I'd much rather enjoy myself and have continued writing wednesday's for a very long time rather than burnout and close prompts so I'm taking it carefully. Today because there are so many prompts and tumblr keeps shuffling the order, I'm also changing the way I answer prompts to random which makes it easier!

hahaha no i loved it. i absolutely loved the complexity of figuring out where to go with this prompt it and i really enjoyed writing it. because you're right, it could be a lot of different fics but i think the one that sinks into the hilt, is Izzy coming to that realization in the deruned fic after Maryse' leaves.

(also in Jace's defense he had a piece of his soul torn out, he's very much still in partial shock and not processing stuff very well)

thank you <3

lumine

-

“Why didn’t you stop her?” Clary croaks and she sounds small and hurt in a way that Izzy knows Jace normally rushes to soothe. Izzy normally tries too, but they’re both too numb.

“What?” Izzy finds herself asking, confused as she finally turns from the direction her mother left. “Sorry, Clary. What?”

“You should be sorry! She’s your mother and you just let her hold me and threaten me? Threaten my mother? What is wrong with you people that you’re all like this? Of course it runs in the family. God, you and Jace are the only normal ones. Shadowhunters are psychos.”

Izzy hears the crack of bone against bone before she even realizes she’s struck. Clary is on the floor, holding her cheek in shock and staring up at Izzy in horror. 

“My brother was right.” Izzy finds herself saying helplessly, “you’re nothing but trouble. We should never have helped you. Never have listened to you, by the Angel, we should never have trusted you.” Izzy can feel the tears she’s been holding back threaten to fall and she’s trying to hang onto her composure but in the face of her mother’s rage-fueled devastation, she can’t. “You even admitted you didn’t care if any of us died to find your mother. I told myself it was grief, that it was just being new.”

Izzy shakes her head and hears a cracked laugh, it’s from her own throat, “you don’t care about the dangers the cup represent. You only care about yourself and your mother. You’d probably would have actually  given it to him, if it had been the only way to get her. Traded the lives of hundreds for someone who is a traitor and we let you right in, we protected you against our own. I defended you, to him, from him, when it was Alec who needed protection from you.” Izzy runs a hand over her face, not carrying that it’s going to smear her makeup. “I can’t do this anymore. Jace— don’t you dare look at me like that. You know it’s true. That Alec was right all along and you tore him down for it.” Shame enters her voice, “we both did and for what. Do you think it’s worth it, Jace?”

Jace looks devastated from where he’s knelt next to Clary’s hunched form, holding her tightly like he’ll break if he lets go. Like he’ll realize it’s all real, that his parabatai is gone and all for a little girl who doesn’t even care.

“I don’t. I don’t think a single thing that causes Alec pain will ever be worth any of this. Especially 

“Izzy Alec’s probably fine! But my mother is under a spell—”

“Raziel! Your mother took a potion personally tailored for her! She’s fine and no, I’m not helping you figure out how to wake her up. That’s on you.

“Gods, my mother was right. Your mother is facing the consequences of her actions. It’s no loss to anyone but you, if she dies. But my brother is a loss for this Institute, for our family, for entire generations of current and future shadowhunters and he was punished for your wrongs. So let me tell you, Clarissa Morgenstern.” Because Clary has to be an enemy or Izzy might fall right back into the trap of her sweetly poisoned words and demands and accusations. “You are no friend to us, to any of us. You expect us to listen and die for you and yet you act above us, better than us except for when you need us. You mean nothing to us. You are the daughter of our greatest enemy and while you were an innocent when you came to us, you aren’t any longer.” 

“The next time you break the rules.” Izzy says and she holds herself as tall as she can, like Alec did, “I will personally ensure that you are held accountable. No one else will be punished in your stead ever again.” Izzy walks off, to her rooms and stares at herself in the mirror. She wonders what Alec saw when he looked at her. 

He never judged her, even when he was exasperated. Alec would sneak her out for shopping even though he hated mundane crowds and helped her design the outfits she wanted in a way that would help her fight. Spent hours with her as she tripped and tripped over him, learning to fight in heels. He’d learned the whip first, so just she had someone to spar with and Izzy lost that because she was selfish and stupid and she cared more about the excitement of something new. Because she’d felt in the right, because everyone knew Alec was boring, but now she wonders if it was boring, or just mature.

Her father has always praised her, calling her his princess, his elegant hunter, his mature little warrior but Izzy feels like a child now, playing dress-up. Slowly, she cleans off her makeup and then takes a shower. The water is hotter than usual and she feels faint when she’s done, as she slowly assembles the pieces of her new armor.

Her boots, four inches but stabilized with a core that will never let her wobble, a present from Alec on her last birthday that Izzy thought was a dig at her balance but now she thinks must have just been him trying to please her while protecting her. Tight pants that cover her skin because there’s no Alec to wipe away the ichor when it splatters on her and burns, or to soothe it away with potions and iraztes. No Alec to untangle her hair from her increasingly elaborate designs so she puts it into a high ponytail and braids in one strand of white silk ribbon into a single braid and she adds a peridot beads to it.

The beads she thought she’d never ever have to wear.

Izzy considers her body, only half dressed and she sighs, something wistful as she holds up her stele and carves a rune of remembrance above her heart and next to her angelic rune, to honor someone lost to you, by death or other means.  She wears a shirt of deep green that shows off her cleavage and her new rune and then she carefully applies the same red shade that her mother prefers. The one Alec got her when she was fifteen and that Izzy always wanted but was always afraid to wear, because she didn’t want to be compared to her mother and found lacking.

“I miss you, hermano.” She admits into the silence as she slides on a jacket one size too big. It’s the last jacket Alec ever gave her before he became too tall and broad for her to do anything but swim in his clothes. “I’m sorry.”

She straps on her weapons and watches as her face turns to something cold, something harder. It makes her look more like her mother, more like Alec and it’s with tears stinging the corners of her eyes that she opens her door and leaves.

The Lightwood’s will not fall from this blow.

Izzy will push herself until she can stand strong and protect what should have been Alec’s Institute and it’s people, the way Alec always protected her. 

[cupioriot]

any octavian/octkahale song recs? i've been listening to 'we will commit wolf murder' (of montreal) a lot recently and i feel like it kind of fits octkahale but honestly it might just be my brain projecting them onto it.

oh my gods yes hi hello i have been working on a playlist for octkahale for a bit and ive had an octavian playlist for a while that i have not shared thank you sooo much for this ask. i am SO SORRY it took me this long to answer this i kept forgetting about it

ALSO YES OH MY GODS THAT FITS SO WELL HELLO IM SCREAMING?? anon ily and this song

but yeah this post isnt much analysis sort of just observations and me connecting themes from songs to octavian (and mike)

warning. pretty long post under cut

as for the songs i associate with octkahale;

I will never shut up about them and Vampire Empire by Big Theif. I think about them everytime i listen to it, honestly. So, this, as I see it, if from Mike's perspective, talking about Octavian, more specifically Blood of Olympus era.

"[...] I'm not quiet, you've been quiet just recieving what you said Reeling, feeding, feeling filled by everything you fed I see you as you see yourself in all the books you read Overwhelmed with guilt and realizing the disease."

"You give me chills, I've had it with the drills I am nothing, you are nothing, we are nothing with the pills I am empty till she fills, alive until she kills[..]"

"I wanted to be your woman, I wanted to be your man I wanted to be the one that you could understand"

"Well I walked into your dagger for the last time in a row * It's like trying to start a fire with matches in the snow Where you can't seem to hold me, cant seem to let me go So I can't find surrender, cant keep control"

(*the end of this lyric was removed in the now released version of the song, making the actual lyric "well I walked into your dagger for the last time" however I though the demo version fit better for them here)

alsoooo. P.U.N.K Girl by Heavenly. This to me sounds like Mike trying to defend Octavian in some way. Much more domestic than the other one lmao

"People say she's bad But they don't see The way she is with me"

"P is for the painful way she makes me feel some days U is for utopia, the other times with her N is for the new wave dreams she had back in her teens K is for the kid in her [...]"

"She is honest in kind but in a way that people see As telling lies and being mean She has thousands of dreams but what they are I'll never know I hope I figure in them though"

"I don't care if they don't see Just how great that girl can be But I wish she'd find a way To act well for just one day I don't mind if they can't see Just how much she means to me[...]"

"She is hardened to hurt her softness hidden from the world But almost ready to unfurl She tries so hard to change but something always happens to Persuade her, it's too hard to do"

I put like. almost the whole song their. It just works very well imo :')

Allies or Enemies by The Crane Wives. This to me also reminds me of Blood of Olympus. augh. Mainly just Octavian and Michaels tenseness. This one I'd say is from Octavian's perspective. I have been meaning to do a oneshot about this for so long and I prolly will once I figure out how to do Octavian's narrative voice (i have been working at it too long. anyways)

"The words I speak Are wildfires and weed They spread like some awful damn disease And I swear, I didn't mean what I said I swear, I didn't mean it."

"Now listen close You owe me ears for dropping eaves Forget it all, you caught me in a moment weak Sometimes I just can't help myself[..]"

"Remember when I could tell you not to smile when you were mad? And you would always crack And we'd both be laughing in the end Now you're not so quick to forget"*

(*this verse specifically I think fits in Mike's perspective. only this one specifically tho)

"Are we allies or enemies? This will be the death of me This will be the death of me All is fair in love and war, but I can't fight with you anymore This will be the death of me"

"What happens now? Do we have another go? Do we bow out and take our separate roads? I'll admit I've had my doubts But I want to be let in, not out[..]"

Nothing's New by Rio Romeo. Ohhh my gods yeah. I like angst with them very often sorry guys. Octavian's perspective, rocky times w them. Not much more to elaborate on methinks.

"I want to be touched, be loved I wanna heal, be hugged It's just the two of us Or that's what we swore And if I lost my charm Apologies due, no harm Cause you got ahold of my heart And I know it's worn"

"I want to be close to you But I don't know what to do 'Cause if we are near to through It may make it worse And if I start to grieve 'Cause it feels like you're 'bout to leave Forgive me, I'm not naive I've been here before"

Tongues & Teeth by The Crane Wives. Oh my gods. No thoughts just Octavian warning Mike that he's flawed and despite the fact that Mike is fine with that and wants to help him, he [Octavian] just knows it wont end well.

"I've grown a mouth so sharp and cruel It's all I can give to you, my dear"

"And I know you mean so well But I am not a vessel for your good intent"

"Desperation will erase the fact I'm keeping all Of the answers in my cigarette box Yeah the answer's in the second before the other shoe drops[...]"

Octavian specifically!(a lot of these r like him and his relationships with other charavters);

Brutus - The Buttress. OCTAVIAN TALKING ABOUT JASON AND ABOUT THE GIANT WAR/HIS DEATH HELLO YOU ALL SEE MY VISION YES. I almost cited the entire thng but. just listen to it the ENTIRE THING WORKS!! i have literally no intelligent way to explain said thoughts i just. take these mid observations

"Or am I just wishing I could be like you? That the people would see me too as a poet, And not just the muse. Oh, it's not true, I don't wish harm upon you From birth we've been like brothers from different mothers Within the spirit of the same womb May the Gods strike me down if I forsake you, Frater meus, you're beautifully made And to you I'm forever grateful[...]"

"I know the love you showed me came from a pure and noble heart I love you, and if you want, I'll call you king But why do I lie awake each night thinking 'instead of you, it should be me?' "

^^ugh on the topic of how he feels about jason's status. i think he would feel a weird sort of jealousy, and a lot of that would be distressing because he likes jason. its not jasons fault that he has the acomplishments octavian wants. but he's human and that comes with loathing.

"Something wicked this way comes And as I set to face it, I'm unsure Should I embrace it, should I run? What motivates me? Hatred? Is it love? What's more wrong; that I too wish to be great Or my mother wished she'd had a son? And even if I can't be the one Maybe I could at least help make way for him Until the day that he comes Maybe my name could also be known That I helped return good to the people And restored greatness to Rome."

^^all just about the giant war. oh my gods this boys desire to save his city. ALSO THE 'wished she'd had a son' LINE. cheering and clapping as a trans octavian truther (literally either way. it works either way transfem and transmasc octavian truthers unite)

"So with a heavy heart I'll guide this dagger into the heart of my enemy My whole life, you were a teacher and friend to me Please know my actions are not motivated only by envy I, too, have a destiny This death will be art The people will speak of this day from near and afar This event will be history, and I'll be great too I don't want what you have, I want to be you"

'goodbye, traitor Jason Grace!' ahh lyrics. oh hell he makes me ill.

"I always knew I could be the one Though I feel the endless pain of being And I am scorched by the Sun Of humble origins and born of the cursed sex My name is Brutus, but the people will call me Rex"

mmmm. something something prophet of apollo. something something transgender my brain is radio static.

now. heres a few where i really dont know how to draw any specific connections between him and the lyrics just. sort of themes which i apply to octavian. all of the songs are good listens though imo (especially wannabe which is SO UNDERATED AND SO GOOD)

Wannabe, Pt. 2 - North Bloom

Saint Bernard - Lincoln

Flight of The Crows - Jhariah

CHOKE - IDKHBTFM

A Mask of My Own Face - Lemon Demon

I Am Not a Robot - MARINA

Teen Idle - MARINA

Under My Skin - Jukebox The Ghost

Migraine - Twenty One Pilots

THANKYOU SO MUXH FOR THIS ASK I LOVED MAKING THIS POST

[belmottetower]

Do you think Jamie may have had a prior, more typical loan period? With Cole, you mention the possibility of multiple loans and if Jamie had a loan in the 18/19 season, his age at the time of loaning makes more sense. I tend to put his birthday in the first week of 1997, which would make him about six months older than Cole at the time of hypothetical loaning. And purely theoretical and for fun, any favourite Championship club to send him to?

This is referring to things from my earlier loan ask, so linking that here.

Interesting! There is nothing in the show to indicate that Jamie did go on an earlier loan, but also nothing to indicate he didn't (aside from the fact they never mention it.) But it's definitely a possible idea, because this is very much a real thing. Sometimes players go on several years worth of loans, one after the other to a few different clubs. And you're right, Richmond could be the last in a series of loans for Jamie that started when he was younger.

Man City currently have some of their young contracted players on loan to clubs in lower leagues, players who haven't had any appearances in the senior side. They've currently loaned to Sheffield United and Burnley (both recently promoted to the Prem with the help of City loanees playing in the starting line up,) Blackburn Rovers, Preston North End, Coventry City, Stoke City. Bolton Wanderers is a League One club they loan to. A number of the boys on loan are in the position you are talking about, where they've had two or three loans in a row. Taylor Harwood-Bellis for example has been at Blackburn Rovers, Anderlecht in Belgium, Stoke City, then Burnley this past season. Or Tommy Doyle, who has been at Hamburger SV, Cardiff City, then Sheffield United. (As discussed in the earlier post, he wasn't allowed to play against Man City when Sheffield faced them in the semi-final of the FA Cup.)

There's nothing to really imply that Jamie did bounce around on loan, it does feel like it's something they would tell us. But it absolutely is a possibility and could make for a really interesting idea in a fic. I don't know if I have a club preference for an earlier loan for Jamie but City tend to loan to Northern clubs these days and I'd probably keep Jamie in the North, within an hour of Manchester or something. I'd probably put him in a smaller, slightly more boring city or town, somewhere less huge and vibrant than Manchester. He's very urban and I would probably remove that from him for story reasons. I'd probably dig into what clubs were in what league for the 18-19 season, and who was managing what clubs or playing for them, and see if there was something interesting in "real football" that I wanted to connect Jamie to. Maybe Bolton, because they were managed by Phil Parkinson that season and I know his personality from Welcome to Wrexham. Though, they were also relegated at the end of that season, so maybe not. That doesn't look so good for Jamie's "rising star" story. 

Actually I think my answer is Derby County. They did okay in 2018-19. Mason Mount was on loan to them that season from Chelsea and he's one player Phil Dunster has said Jamie shares the playing style of, so say we get rid of Mase and send Jamie to Derby in his place. Then we have Scott Carson, who is currently the very old (for football) Man City third goalie, who never plays any games but is a massive figure in their dressing room and and in training, he keeps people very happy and high spirited, he's always talked about as being an amazing guy who everyone loves. He was Derby County's starting goalie during that season.

And the manager of Derby County that season was Frank Lampard. I don't believe he exists in Lasso-verse, I think he and John Terry both don't exist and instead are replaced by Roy and Some Other Guy that Roy famously had a Chelsea partnership with. Because we know Roy was the long term captain like Terry, that's what his homecoming moment is based on in 3.02, John Terry coming back to the Bridge when assistant managing Villa. But he was a defender whereas Lampard is the legend in Roy's position, box to box midfielder. So instead of Lampard and Terry, there was Kent and… That Guy. But that fake guy who was Roy's really good friend? He can be the manager. We would have Jamie playing under Roy's Old Mate and fishing for Roy stories, and maybe having some level of friendship develop with Scott Carson that he would carry back to City, once Jamie returns to City after Richmond.

Edit: Lampard, in real life, played his final Premier League season for Man City (14-15) so Fake Lampard may have been aware of Jamie even from that time, Jamie would have been 18 and just signed the senior pro contract. Lampard then went on to play his final season of football full stop in America, so maybe that's where Roy got that idea that he says to Ted in season one, from his old friend Fake Lampard. Lots of fun connections between Jamie, Roy and Fake Lampard!

[mascarasalocaso]

‘Mine’ is literally Andreil (especially Neil but not just him); the song was written about them, I'm convinced. Ever since I had that realization I've had the need for everyone to know that and, since I haven't seen anyone mentioning it in the fandom, I had to do my best to ensure more people have this information. 

I mean, these are the lyrics of the song:

(Text in brackets are my comments, text in blue are the actual lyrics of the song)

Verse 1:

You were in college working part-time waitin’ tables [Well, Andrew no longer works at Eden's, but he does go to college, so I'd consider it a partial match] 

Left a small town, never looked back [Cass' house back in California] 

I was a flight risk with a fear of fallin’ [“Flight risk"? That is literally Josten's middle name]

Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts [I know that Neil 'didn' t swing' (being the fandom consensus, I think, that he's demi) but at first he was also all like 'Yeah, I can't afford to trust people and caring about anyone in that way it's not worth it , since it only leads to trouble'  and so on] 

Verse 2

I say “Can you believe it?

As we’re lying on the couch?"

The moment I can see it.

Yes, yes, I can see it now [I haven’t thought of any special meaning to this, so if anyone sees anything, feel free to point it out in the comments]

Chorus A 

Do you remember, we were sitting there by the waters? [*on the roof] 

You put your arm around me for the first time [their first kiss (and many others) but it is also a safe place of sorts for them, somewhere they can go to to be alone. At first, it's Andrew's place, but later on he also takes Neil, and it turns into a safe space for the both of them, metaphorically putting his arm around Neil] 

You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter [Andrew made Neil a rebel in the sense that he convinced and motivated him to stand his ground and fight instead of keep on running. And I guess the part about his father doesn't need much explanation] 

You are the best thing that’s ever been mine [They've both lived lives full of trauma, people hurting them, and other negative things. And now they have each other and it's so much better than anything either of them thought they could get. I’m not one to say that a certain couple is perfect because it sounds cheesy, but in each other they now have someone who really (bothers to) understand them, and “accepts” them, with everything they have in a way that they couldn't find in just anyone] 

Verse 3 [This might be my favourite verse]

Flash forward, and we’re taking on the world together, [This could refer to the part between Andrew coming back from Easthaven and Neil getting kidnapped, where (at least for Neil) it was a time of peace and things going fine (all things considered), or to their lives post trilogy/college, even if then it alters a bit the chronology of the song] 

And there’s a drawer of my things at your place [I was about to say that they skipped this part and moved ahead to living together, but actually, I think this could be connected to the keys. It isn't having his things at Andrew's but, ultimately, the whole thing about having something (a space) that is yours at someone else's house is that this person is allowing/inviting you in it. The drawer is like saying "This is my thing, but you are also welcome, not only as a guest but rather as it also being your thing", and that is (more or less) what Andrew was saying when he gave Neil the keys to his house and his car. ] 

You learn my secrets, and you figure out why I’m guarded, [Do I even need to explain?  I will anyway. Again, doesn’t chronologically follow the story, but I feel like the scene in Wymack’s living room coming back from the first time at Eden's really does count as Andrew “figuring” Neil out. He doesn’t get all the truth, but he then gets the blurry picture of what Neil’s life is. I guess this line is just perfect for them and really didn’t need explaining] 

You say we’ll never make my parents’ mistakes [I could be tripping here, but I think Andrew does at some point say to Neil something about not being his father, not looking alike and… Alright, I don’t remember, maybe I should reread the books.]

Verse 4

But we got bills to pay, [At first metaphorical bills, then “real” ones. I already mentioned the “time of peace” Neil has before getting kidnapped. During this time, he has long decided how he’s going to play thighs and made peace with the fact that his death is nearing. So, yeah, they have their moment of calm, but bills are due, he has to answer for all the unresolved issues surrounding his life. The second interpretation, the one with the real bills, would be, of course, about the deal Neil makes with the Moriyamas at the end of the books.]

We got nothing figured out, [1. Taking into account what I said about the preceding line, this is obvious, I guess. Neil and Andrew are at a point where they are finding their footing and also their happiness, I suppose. But they haven’t really resolved their problems, and they (the problems) are just around the corner. 2: They kinda survived through the whole deal, but they didn’t exactly “solve” them (except for Nathan, I guess?), they merely did that: surviving. I think the first interpretation is much more fitting and just goes along better with the rest of the song.]

When it was hard to take, 

Yes, yes, this is what I thought about [Here I’m not completely sure I understand what the song is saying, so I’m sorry if I get it wrong, but if I’m right: This is during his time with his father. Of course life at that point isn’t very nice. And while he is suffering he also thinks about the nice things in the last years. Namely, the foxes and Andrew. 

Chorus A

Do you remember, we were sitting there by the water? [This follows the same string as the last verse. So while Neil is with his father and everything he has the good memories of Andrew, etc]

You put your arm around me for the first time [Given that Andrew wasn’t the only good thing Andrew had while with the foxes, this time we could say that the “you put your arm around me for the first time" doesn’t mean just Andrew but the rest of the foxes (especially Wymack) as well]

You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter

You are the best thing that’s ever been mine [With that in mind, this line makes even more sense, because with his troubled childhood and everything that was his life from hen on, the foxes are by far the best thing he has ever had]

Chorus B

Do you remember all the city lights on the water?

You saw me start to believe for the first time

You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter

You are the best thing that’s ever been mine

Oh, oh, oh

[All the chorus part is that, remembering the various instances. Both mentioned priorly on the show and not mentioned]

Verse 5

And I remember that fight, two-thirty a.m. 

When everything was slipping right out of our hands

I ran out crying, and you followed me out into the street

[I really liked thinking about this as a scene that’s a bit different from what the song might be describing; Which is the one in TKM, if I’m not wrong, where Wymack tells Neil he’s going to be captain the following year, and he has a panic attack (I think). So the “fight” wouldn’t be an actual fight but a conversation that did upset Neil nevertheless. This upsets him because it’s something that he wants but knows he can never get; and this causes a crash between the life that he’s kind of build for himself at PSU, where he’s a promising striker for the Foxes who could be Court, and his “actual life”, where he’s the runaway son of a criminal and will die before the end of the year. All of this to say that at that moment Neil was made aware of the fact that the life he really wanted was going to slip right out of his hands without him being able to do anything about it. He then literally ran out, except not crying but having a panic attack. And Andrew came to him.

As I said I liked seeing this part as a reference to that scene, maybe because I like the scene, but now I’m thinking it actually matches way better with another scene. It���s still not chronologically in order, but it doesn’t go as far back (as the aforementioned scene). The scene in question is the riot. There was in fact a fight. It was not 2:30 a.m., but it was late at night. Everything was in fact slipping out of their hands (except Andrew didn’t know it, but still), that with Neil getting kidnapped, probably never to be seen again. Neil very much did not run, and he did not cry, but he was in distress and Andrew went to follow him where he went. (I know Andrew at the moment was looking after Aaron and Kevin, not so much after Neil, since they had broken the deal. But once his people were safe and stuff had calmed down a bit, he did try to find Neil in the car park, he choked Kevin for information, he tried to fight the FBI, etc. Neil doesn’t really know about what Andrew is doing at the time, but when he speaks with the FBI he knows Andrew wouldn't just leave him. And later, of course, he hears of what happened, all that Andrew did.]

Verse 6

Braced myself for the "Goodbye"

‘cause that’s all I’ve ever known

Then you took me by surprise

You said, "I’ll never leave you alone"

[Even ignoring how Neil thought he was going to die at the hand of his father and because of that said goodbye to Neil and everything he (Neil) had. 

When Neil is with the FBI, he thinks the Foxes probably hate him now that they know the truth, so when he goes to meet them at the hotel it’s mostly to say goodbye. He thinks Andrew, more than anyone, will be mad at him for lying to him, but when they actually see each other Andrew is just relieved to see him alive. He then refuses to leave his side, both while they’re in the room and later with the FBI, making it really clear to Neil that Andrew will be with him no matter what, “you aren’t going anywhere”.]

Chorus C

You said, "I remember how we felt sitting by the water

And every time I look at you, it’s like the first time

I fell in love with a careless man’s careful daughter

She is the best thing that’s ever been mine"

Whoa

You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter

You are the best thing that’s ever been mine

Verse 2.2

Do you believe it?

We’re gonna make it now

And I can see it

I can see it now

[They're in love (or something) forever, etc, etc ]

[just-horrible-things]

‘Verse: Box Boy Universe Story: Just Acting

Regret [ First | Prev | tbc ]

"Um, mister?" wavers Liv-as-Buttercup. "Where are we going?" She's stalling, playing her part but with no direction, no plan as Jude drags her by the hand back towards the scene of the crime. 

It's only a matter of time before they find the body.

Jude is silent. Buttercup steps on a sharp rock and stumbles and they give her no time to recover. 

"Mister? Um, my Sir doesn't like me going with strangers…" "Yeah yeah, you make your excuses. I'm not falling for it Liv." 

They're almost at the light now, close enough to be seen by the milling partygoers on the veranda. 

Close enough to be seen by someone who knows that Buttercup ought to be upstairs with Ms Hartling right now.

"Mister, you don't understand – he really doesn't like it – I'm sorry, I don't want to get you in trouble!"

Jude stops, and Buttercup misses a step as Liv almost catches herself but decides at the last instant that it's less like her if she lets herself collide with his body after all. He smells like expensive cologne and entitlement.

He grabs a fistful of the front of her costume to keep her close. The other hand is bruisingly tight on Buttercup’s wrist. 

"Which is it," they hiss. "Are you a pretty Pet, or are you gonna drop the act? If you don't want me to do whatever I want to you, you'd better stop playing games and start answering some fucking questions."

Tears well up on cue. Buttercup leans up against Jude's body, pressing her lips out in perfect unhappy confusion. "I'm sorry," she repeats, "I don't know what you want, I'd do it for you but my Sir—" "Who is your "Sir", huh? Some accomplice you're hoping will get you out of this?"

Accomplice rings alarm bells. What has Jude been up to since college anyway? Do they somehow know what Liv has been up to? She always assumed they went back to whatever pointless little town crapped them out in the first place and got a dead end job in some office because they sure weren’t getting a career in acting.

"What did I do?" she pleads, because if she was Buttercup none of their accusations would make sense. "Answer the question.” A yank on her clothes, shaking her like a doll. “Who is this "Sir"? Does he even exist?" "Mr. Calvin Cohen," Buttercup answers earnestly. "If he sees you touching me—" and she presses a little harder against them so that her breasts enfold their hand and trap it between them "—he'll be so angry."

Jude’s forehead is furrowed with comical confusion as they try to sort through the lies. Liv fights the rising urge to laugh. They’re trying to figure out her agenda with every word while she's just bluffing one second to the next.

"I'll just have to take you somewhere private then, won't I?"

Yes. Yes that's perfect – well, not perfect – but a lot better than dragging her into the light. 

Buttercup bites her lip, the way Smith had Liv practice over and over – slightly off-centre, just hard enough to dent the soft flesh. "I shouldn't," she wavers. "I'm not asking," Jude snarls, taking the bait.

Buttercup pulls back a little as they cast about. Not a lot, not enough to be defiant, just enough that they feel the tension in her. When they start back the way they came, she drags her feet. 

"What were you even doing out there on your own if you're supposed to be a Pet, huh? Sneaking around in the dark? Your story doesn't add up." "I, I was… I was hiding from Sir, sir. I’m sorry…" Another scoff.

He leads her, of course, back to the trellises. Jude never had much imagination. Laughter – wild and not exactly compos mentis – threatens once again, and Liv bites the inside of her cheek hard enough to taste blood. She cannot corpse now.

The wisteria overhead is leafless, but artfully manicured shrubs provide plenty of cover from prying eyes. Liv thinks about fighting, even though she is exhausted and nearly naked and one shout from Jude would bring every security guard in the place down on her head –

– and if she can’t kill them, they’ll identify her, and she’ll be in a whole other world of trouble.

“I don’t know what I did to upset you,” Buttercup pleads, “but I’m sorry—” “Last chance,” Jude growls. “Or if you insist you’re a Pet, I’m gonna treat you like one.”

Good, thinks Liv. Pretending is the first step towards believing.

“I am a Pet, sir,” Buttercups insists. Liv forces her voice a shade huskier. “I can be good for you.” “Good.” A cold and nasty smile.

Then his fist connects with Liv’s stomach, and she doubles over as her lungs freeze up.

It’s a good thing that everyone reacts the same way to a gut punch, Pet or not. Because for a long few seconds, Liv isn’t acting at all.

Jude yanks her head up by the hair and slaps her across the face. Convenient, involuntary tears well up at the sting. She manages to suck in a thin, effortful breath.

Thinking Smith she has the presence of mind to drop to her knees.

I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, sir, I’ll be good for you.

The only word she can force out is “—sir—!”

He pulls a fist back to hit her again, and every instinct Liv has screams to twist away from it or lift a hand or something but – she cannot picture Smith fighting back and so – against every fibre of her being – she holds still and lets him hit her.

She sees stars. Or – not stars exactly – the little pale dancing, wriggling motes that people mean when they say someone’s seeing stars.

It’s easier – when he lets go of her hair – to crumple to the ground than not.

Gil was right, thinks a sick treacherous little voice in her gut. I don’t know what I’m doing.

Buttercup sobs a snotty, tear-thickened sob as Liv’s lungs finally let her take a full breath. “I’m – sorry–” she gasps “--I don’t – what did I do I’m sorry–!”

She doesn't see the kick coming, but pain knifes through her side at the impact. Thoughts flash through her mind of ruptured kidneys, spinal damage, internal bleeding. She wants to fight back. She's at every disadvantage.

"C'mon," Jude jeers, "not gonna fight me? Where's the Liv I know?" "Please!" she wails as Buttercup, "-- sir please whatdidIdo?" "Shhh! Goddamn, keep it down!"

Liv rolls over. Jude's foot slams down on her back, pinning her. The flagstones and the trellises swim. She's in too deep to change tack now. It's all or nothing, double or bust.

Buttercup bawls messily on the ground.

"Shhhh!" Jude repeats with more urgency, "God's sakes, I thought you didn't want your Sir to catch you."

She cries quieter. Pets do as they're told. But she keeps crying. It's the least Liv thing she can think to do.

[spacecadetspe]

Sept. 17, 2024

Well, that was a bit of a bust. I spoke to Fortitude about my concerns, but it only served to make him more depressed, and me more panicked. When he feels cornered, he resorts to trying to point out my complaining, or how much we deal with the Meta.

To the latter, I'll concede that when we first began, I was in such a terrible place that I begged him for his near-constant attention. I've since tried not to ask him for anything regarding the Meta, relying on my own senses to help me understand what's going on. That doesn't negate what I have done; not even a little. But I'd like to think I'm giving him the space he needs to heal.

To the former, my issue was that while yes, I do complain, I don't think it's an inordinate amount, but his point makes me feel like I can't talk to him about things I need. So I reached out to R and my old friend Cat. They were lovely in helping me sort through my feelings, and I needed them deeply.

I didn't speak to Fortitude for nearly four days. I struggled through the daytime, attempting to keep life from driving me to a panic attack, and called R multiple times, sometimes in tears. I lost my appetite and ate very little; thankfully the nearby Chinese restaurant has really good wonton soup that I could keep down. I still cried through my lunch hour.

I thought I had lost Tem. My whole relationship. I wanted someone to experience my life with me, and... were we really?

My dreams, however, were lovely. Phobetor came in multiple times to love on me, so that helped... But in the morning, it was all gone, and I started trudging through the day again.

Wednesday night was the odd one out. I half-woke with severe pain in my left wrist and head, feeling like something was covering my face. I pushed at the substance, which released me so slowly I thought it might be one of those alien face suckers from the movies.

The pain didn't let up for days. Pasithea came to ice my wounds and help me figure out what was going on; that as a dreamer, I had been passed down to her youngest son, Panos. A last resort of Phobetor's, I imagined. Panos is not well-versed in dream craft, and so spends most of his days minding the Nekromanteion and channeling for Hades or Persephone. So when he was handed a dreaming and a list of dreamers to process, he leapt at the chance to do some good work.

He didn't expect me to fight him, which is why he held me down until my wrist broke. And the corruption was so viscous that it wouldn't be processed in the usual way... so he drained it directly from my skull, which explains the headache.

Erebus' energy had infected me, it seems. I'd been laid low by this insatiable hunger for attention and affection, and nothing could help me in a way that I really needed.

I'm still having trouble typing. Surtr, thankfully, has been there to put pins in my broken wrist and patch me up. It's been a rough week...

[treadmilltreats]

Don't make New Year's resolutions, make life resolutions

Every year, we all make New Year's resolutions. We vow to go to the gym more, eat right, make more money, and do the things we should be doing already but aren't. Us gym rats know that the gym is packed the first month of the year, but by the last week in January, not so much. By the second week in February, it's just us die-hards that are in there again.

So why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we make these resolutions only to break them and then make ourselves feel bad? Nine years ago, I decided I wasn't going to make any more resolutions. I was going to make life resolutions to do something to change who I was as a person inside.

These have been my life resolutions that have literally changed my life.

2014 was: Let go and let God

This meant I couldn't control everything. I couldn't figure out all of my problems, so if I wanted to change my life, I had to let go of control and give it to God. See, God kept giving me messages, but I thought I knew better. This was a game changer for me.

2015 was: Pray and let God worry

I remember while I was getting divorced, I was stressing so much that I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep and my hair was falling out. I even thought I was having a heart attack at one point. I couldn't go on believing in God and keep stressing. It didn't make sense, did I believe it or not? Do I have faith or not? So I chose to pray and let God worry, and that was the best decision I ever made.

2016 was: Be present in my purpose

I know I am here for a purpose. I know God gave me this gift of writing to be able to touch others with my words. So, in 2016, I chose to be present in that purpose and know that this is where I am supposed to be.

My bible verse has always been: Romans 8.28

"God causes everything to happen for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them"

I have been present in this verse and in my life ever since.

2017 was: Be real to yourself

For me, it's listening to that voice inside yourself. It's feeling what makes you happy, trusting what God is telling you, and what is real. We often poo poo things in our minds. We know deep down what the message is, but we don't want to listen.

I heard the messages, and I have acted quickly on them as I now trust God and my intuition. This was a hard one for me, and sometimes I reverted into my old ways, but since this resolution, I have been quicker to learn my lessons and move on.

2018: Knowing your self-worth.

This was also a hard one for me, as I've lost my self-worth a long time ago and hadn't gotten it back. I used to let men use me. I'd run after men who aren't worth my time. I've made excuses for bad behavior of people and given way too many chances to people who've hurt me.

I had to practice what I preached, the things I write about to my readers. I needed to show others how to treat me, with love and respect, and if not, then you're outta here. I now know my self-worth, and it's a wonderful feeling.

2019: To realize that I am a soldier.

I had to realize that God only gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers, and that's me. Whether I want it or not, this is who he called me to be. This is so I can share my testimony with others.

2020 was to be happy within myself.

It doesn't matter what people say, whether they think it's right or wrong, this is your life. You can be dead tomorrow, and I know this as I lost many loved ones suddenly, and so I know how short life can truly be. You need to do what makes you happy now. Don't try to live your life pleasing others, because most times they will never be happy with themselves. I will do what makes me happy, as long as I am not hurting anyone. This is my life, and I will live it my way.

For 2021, my life resolution was

Do not lose heart

It is from 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is"

2022, it was: Be happy

Was about being happy with yourself. You can not make anyone else happy, but you can find the happiness within.

2023 was : Shit happens

A lot of shit happened, and I've realized that's just life.

Shit will happen, and life goes on, but we can't let it bring us down or knock us out. There will be some great years, and there will be some really shitty years, but our attitude is the only thing we can change.

2024 life resolutions is: There is always room for improvement

This year, I learned that I wasn't over my PTSD. I allowed someone to push my buttons and bring me back to a place I thought I was done with. I learned that money or a job is not worth your peace of mind. And that you can always make a change to fix yourself, which I did by going back to therapy.

I know this life is only temporary, and through it all, I have not lost heart. Even when I couldn't see what was coming at me, I held on to my faith, and I looked for the lessons in this craziness in the world. I was grateful for things even when the world seemed bleak.

See, you can not change, you cannot get this if you still will not let go. If you still do not have faith...it's all on you. Can you get out of your own way to make things happen?

Once we let go of these things, once we let go of control, once we learn faith and we pray and let God worry, things will change. Once we are present in our purpose, once we are real with ourselves, once we own who we are called to be, once we are happy with ourselves and our life then everything we ever wanted, everything we ever lost, everything that was stolen from us, will be returned in abundance.

So today, my friends, I tell you that this is your year, you are the only one that can change things in your life. If you truly want them to change, you have to do the work and believe me, sometimes it's not easy.

If I can do it, then you can, too. Change your life today...

Don't make New Year's resolutions, make life resolutions... start today.

"Be the change you want to see,"

@TreadmillTreats

[constant-and-immovable]

for when you wake up— I’d very much like to hear your Thoughts on what they could’ve done instead of Racism Island

Fun story, I have no self control so I DID see this last night, or rather early this morning, but I was on the app, and I hate hate hate hate hate typing on my phone.

NOW THAT I'M AT MY LAPTOP.....

Boy oh boy. The Racism Island bit felt like a really really really vague reference to the 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea movie, but somehow worse, considering that it's fifty years later. It's the only thing I can figure! I'm not well versed enough in vintage pirate movies to know if that's where the trope originates from or not, since even Muppet Treasure Island did a highly questionable 'island natives' bit too--at least for their take on this ugly trope, they were done with puppets.

And even if the scene was interesting, it would still be gross, but the scenes aren't even interesting. Aside from the ''Jack can talk his way out of anything!...Or not,'' gag that the entire series post-COTBP seemed to want to beat to death, there's no joke? It's all. So. Awkward. Even if all the same scene beats happened in a white village, and it was some Wicker Man-meets-The Lottery kind of sacrifice that the crew had to escape from, it would still be boring.

So I don't understand it? There's no point beyond the cringe racism. Getting rid of surplus extras? Shrinking the crew to bare minimum for sake of writing? A plot hole to try and explain where Anna-Maria went? Fuck that, he got her a boat near the end of the first movie, and she smartly sailed away from all of their drama. I'll accept no other canon, thank you.

Like I said last night, I just end up. Skipping it. Admittedly, "time to go" was one of the many inside joke/movie references that worked its way into my teenage friend group's vernacular back in the day, but it had more to do with line delivery. But skipping it proves something else too: the scene is so fucking long. It's half an hour! What the fuck!

And I have a lot of thoughts as to what they could have done instead.

The crew of the Pearl make landfall on some nameless island. It's neither rich nor poor, pirate nor under the full control of the EITC (historical accuracy? we have zombies, we don't need any of that.). A large portion of the crew proves that they were what pirates were for the most part: men with few choices looking for a way to earn a quick buck. Most of that crew wasn't there at the end of the first film, and considering the run that they had from Norrington (back and forth across the Atlantic! At least once!) they've probably had enough. They leave, and Jack's left with the few who stick around because he thinks they're loyal (they're not, they just would rather keep chancing it with him/with the Pearl than anything else. They've lived through weirder shit.) Pintel and Ragetti could be small time crooks here--or even funnier--respectable shopkeepers. Bookstore clerks, even though neither one of them can read. It would be interesting to follow each of them through the town, get some more perspective on the characters, how they tick. This might bet quieter than the Racism Island but it would be REALLY interesting. Jack floundering on land, weighing his chances of going back to sea or drying up and dying like a fish in the sun.

More details on Will's adventures to find Jack. There's no FUCKING WAY this took less than two or three months--sailing around the islands of the Caribbean is a hat trick of navigation, sailing, and either owning really good (expensive) maps or going off your own experience. Some of the islands are almost impossible to reach by ship and have to be sailed to either by a smaller schooner, or accessed by rowboat. What islands did Will go to? Was he suspect for being a gentleman? He's not upper class, I'd be intrigued to see his recent developed pose as the governor's (almost) son-in-law fade back in favor of the blacksmith's apprentice. Did he ever loosen up a little when he realized he wasn't being watched all the time? Did he feel caught between two worlds, the gentry he was never part of, and the working class he left. He's no pirate! But how did he get along with fisherman, sailors? Wouldn't it be suspicious for someone who walks and talks like a gentleman, dresses like a common man, to be asking about one of most famous pirates of the time?

And this is my personal favorite: I want to see Elizabeth on that merchant ship. I want to see her board a ship shaking with fear and adreneline, steal a man's clothing and hide her dress, cut her hair and throw her curls out a porthole. I want to see her struggle on the ropes because despite dreaming of this as a girl, it's so much harder than it looks. Men asking her if she's never sailed before, her mumbling when necessary but otherwise keeping quiet to hide her voice. Someone asking her age, and her claiming to be a young boy tall for his age. I want to see her maybe get close to a sailor or two--maybe one clocks her, or maybe she clocks her, and another woman hiding among them (or transman! but this is Disney, and more than that I'm assuming I'm rewriting Disney in 2005, so worse) and giving her advice. I want to see her prove her mettle in a storm or a pirate fight, I want to see Elizabeth learn to sail.

Anyway, these are the ideas I always had, but I don't think that Disney would have given any of them a chance, except MAYBE the Will one. They didn't care enough about the secondary characters to give any of them a solo scene that wasn't a joke, didn't want to give any more character depth to Jack, and didn't seem to realize that Elizabeth was equally sharing the story with Jack and Will (even though in my heart she's the main character). I used to wish that they used the time to give us more back story on Davy Jones or how Norrington ended up in Tortuga, but I think it leaving both of them more up to the imagination works for them, and I know we all love Norrington, but I think the plot would have gotten bogged down by making him a fourth main. I think he sits will with Barbossa as 'just behind the main three.' I'm sure there's other bits that could have gone in here instead, or some combination of these three points, or variations on them, and I'd love to hear more "what could have been's" that people have instead of the racist cannibal island garbage.

[jesslockwood]

Photo Opportunities

Word Count: 2.7k

Pairing(s): Tom Holland x Actress!Reader

Warnings: FLUFF with a slightly (barely) suggestive sentence towards the end 

A/n: damn I can't write anything except actress reader? smh but this is for @londonspidey ‘s sit-com Writing challenge (ik I'm early lol) but I was so excited I wrote the whole thing in one go lmao the prompt is bolded!

Calling yourself a fan was an understatement. You were obsessed with anything and everything marvel. And oddly enough, you could after today say you were in the club. It wasn’t a public fact yet, until later that day actually, at the Marvel panel at comic con that you were being announced as the actress for the character, Felica Hardy and no one else knew except for the people who cast you and your best friend who signed an NDA. You were technically still a known actress for your roles on television mainly as Thalia on the PJO Disney + series and a couple of still decently sized films. 

You were currently wrapping up signing autographs for fans of yours for today. Your team had planned it out so it wasn’t suspicious that you were at the con with a few of your castmates scattered doing other junkets and press so people wouldn’t guess who they were acting as the cast for new marvel projects. 

You had been planning to go meet your best friend, who wasn’t in the industry before getting a text that she bought you both a photo-op with someone and she wouldn’t tell you who. You couldn’t only assume it was a marvel actor that you would indeed, freak out. 

Y/b/n: btw I brought you a mask. I get the wig lol.

You: please tell me it doesn’t cover my full face. Also, how are we posing?

Y/b/n: I bought as many photo ops as I could so a lot of different ones, And if I tell you the poses it’ll spoil it.

You: is this with the money I pay you to be my assistant with? Lol fine I’m omw with security

Y/b/n: maybe… 

Y/b/n: and they’ll need more backup security for who we’re getting a photo op with than you do for your hellfire.

You roll your eyes before taking your stuff and exiting the booth, before heading out the backways with staff security and your detailed security for the day. You only had security because you wanted to explore the con when you weren’t needed.

Your best friend had also been your assistant for the con weekend, but you didn’t want her to be confined to you the whole three days so when she could, you would let her explore it, at least she could experience it as a fan, right?

When you made it to that part of the building, you wanted to wait in line with her, which your security didn’t agree to so she texted you when there were about five people ahead of her. She was one of the last in line, with you asking her to be kind, so others would get their chance to be first with whomever it was. 

When she texted you and your detailed exit, getting a few stares and others taking their phones out to either take photos or tweet, you wave at them before joining your best friend in line.

“Here,” she says before handing you none other than a black cat mask before she puts on a red wig. 

You glare at her slightly trying to not make a scene, before putting it on. 

“I’m assuming you're Mary Jane?” you laugh figuring out that it had to be someone from Spider-Man.

“How’d you- never mind.” She laughs with you.

She then explains how she’s going to pose for your five photo ops, joking in between how she should “get a raise for this”.

You catch sight of him before sucking in your breath. This was either going to go down amazingly or terribly, there was no in-between with you. 

“Excuse Me, are you Y/n Y/l/n?”

You turn around and are met by some fans who were standing in line behind you.

“I am! How’s your con going?” you ask politely to the two of them.

“It's going amazing! We love you as Thalia! Could we maybe get a picture? Only if it’s okay?”

“Of course! Thank you for supporting me!” your best friend grabs their phone to take the photo, before you take off the mask, and stand between the two fans, and your best friend snaps a few photos. 

“Thank you so much! And Are you fans of Tom?”

You start slowly walking back to catch up to the line. 

“Yeah, I love him as Spiderman, but I also enjoy his other roles. He's very talented, I'd love to work with him one day!” 

“Have you seen him in Uncharted?  We love Him as Nathan drake!”

“I have, he was amazing per usual! How are you two posing with him?”

They show you their innovative pose. You laugh and tell them it's great before you have to wish them goodbye before heading up for your turn for the photo op. 

“How do we want to pose- hang on, I recognize you!”

You freeze slightly before your friend mouths for you to flirt. You look down at the mask in your hand before getting into character and saying “Of course you do Spidey, I'm always causing you trouble.” you put on the mask and wink. 

He seems slightly stunned, laughing, feeling like he’s seen you somewhere, not only because he found you extremely gorgeous, while in his peripheral vision he sees his brother/ assistant, Harry waving like a madman on the side. 

Your friend directs you both through the poses, first, one both him putting “webs” onto you as she looks over his shoulder, the second one, both of you kissing his cheeks, the third, all jumping in the air in your best superhero poses, the fourth one she gets a photo op alone and the last one she gives to you,

“Seriously, who are you?”

“Your Wildest dreams, baby,” you say, taking off the mask. 

Your best friend yells “freestyle” from the sidelines before Tom dips you, gently, with you shocked, holding the mask out with your free arm and the photo captures that moment. 

 He gently helps you stand back up fully, not before you drop the mask.

“Nice moves Spider-Man.”

“Not so bad yourself, Black Cat.”

You laugh before, taking off with your best friend, well more her dragging you to the printing station leaving the mask behind. Tom picks it up before shoving it in his back pocket to hopefully give back if he could find you. 

-

`You were sitting in the green room, trending on Twitter before you were actually supposed to be trending on Twitter, and god knows where else.  

Someone had snuck a video of you and Tom, up till him dipping you, and a video of you interacting with the fans in the line.

Your Y/b/n was currently reading off some tweets out loud

“‘A kind queen we stan.’  I agree, I also agree with ‘Date her if you can't date me tom!!!’.

‘THALIA AND PETER PARKER??? My two fandoms have collided.’ same, same. Oo this one says, ‘if she ain’t playing black cat I will sue marvel.’ I'm dying at the reply ‘She needs to post the photos or I'll sue her!’. This one’s funny, ‘she could squash him like a bug in heels but he liked his queen like that.’.”

She pauses watching you texting.

“Y/n? Y/n?”

“What? Sorry I was only half listening. I was texting my publicist. She said to stay on the DL until tonight. 

“Well we should get food, you haven't eaten since this morning.”

“By the way, your show has shot to number one on Disney +. Also, you have like three times the followers you had before, probably cause you're trending on every platform, even Tumblr!”

“Wow you should just become my social media manager now.” you joke trying to ease the joy yet weirded out feeling in your stomach.

“Does that come with a raise? Because after today I've spent way too much of what I'm paid.” she jokes back.

-

After finishing his photo ops Tom asked Harry who she was and to find out. By the time he finished autographs for the day, Tom and Harry walked to the panel room in the back for announcements, one that included him for the new Avengers movie, while Harry gave him the rundown.

“So she’s an actress, she plays Thalia on Disney plus’ Percy Jackson series, and that's her most known project. The other girl with her is her assistant best friend, and now she's trending everywhere. People dug up some old photos of her being a marvel/Spider-Man fan, so there's that. And she's here at the con for the rest of the weekend. She's doing photo ops tomorrow at one, and yes she's single from what I gather since you were looking at her like this.” he makes a weird face before tom smacks him.

“And plus you have time in your schedule to get a photo op with her, that is if you eat lunch quickly.”

That gave Tom an idea. 

“Harry I’m going to need you to book me one, oh and help me find a Spider-Man costume!” He says, before leaving harry to do ‘assistant’ work. entering the green room for the announcements, watching them announce a new movie.

“We are so excited to announce to the Marvel Universe, and spider-verse-” that perked tom’s ears, “-directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood, and today we are announcing our amazing Miss Felicia Hardy, please give a warm welcome to the stage, Your Black Cat!”

You suddenly emerged in an aisle way, dressed in all black with a leather jacket, black ankle boots, and of course black sunglasses indoors.

The music is marvel music until it suddenly changes after a recorded laugh from you into “I can’t be tamed by Miley Cyrus”.

You start owning the music while saying hi and touching fans’ hands. You decide to take off your sunglasses and throwing them to a fan, for them to keep, before getting on stage.

“What a Performance from the one the only Y/n Y/l/n!”

You laugh, being met with the loudest applause you had heard all con before being handed a Mic. 

“Thank you but I'm a terrible dancer.” You Joke.

Tom was staring at the screen stunned. You had been the black cat all along. You were in the marvel universe and spidey one,  so he'd definitely be seeing more of you. The hard part is that you seemed so genuine when you talked, interacted with fans and was no doubt, stunning. 

“Better close your mouth or the flies will get in.” Tom turns around to find the voice of none other than his friend slash bully, Sebastian Stan, along with Anthony Mackie.

“Looks like the kid has a crush!” Anthony laughs, pointing to the screen you were on.

“I-I don’t! I don’t even know her!” Tom tries to come to his own defense, hopelessly.

“She’s got you whipped already don’t even deny it.” Harry comes in, joining the teasing of one, Tom Holland.

“Maybe we can invite her out for drinks tonight, then fanboy over here can meet her, and then probably scare her off!” Anthony mentions.

“You haven’t looked on the internet? They’ve already met.” Seb says, before showing Anthony twitter. 

Anthony stands there slightly shocked before bursting into laughter.

“Well, she’s damn well a keeper for Tom since she obviously likes him.”

A staff member peaks their head in the green room to tell Tom he’s up next.

“Well, that’s my cue to leave you two!”

On the other hand, you were on an adrenaline high from being on stage, and seeing all the fans. You knew tomorrow was going to be crazy, as you expected people to book your photo op left and right since the announcement. 

You had decided to decline an offer from your fellow marvel universe castmates, Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie, which they so graciously told you that whenever you’re free, the offer still stood. 

You had gotten to your hotel room seeing your phone blowing up on the social media apps for the second time that day. 

You responded to the important stuff, before heading to bed, knowing it was going to be hectic.

-

You had been right, it was absolutely insane, the number of people who showed up. You had fully booked all your time slots for photo ops. You had seen so many people dressed up in marvel cosplay, ranging from Loki to Ironman, even some people dressed up as your character, which was wildly insane to see.

You had been nearing the end of the line and had enjoyed every moment with the fans, and you couldn’t wait for your autographing session later that day, to truly get a chance to talk to the fans and connect with them and how they felt about you being their beloved Black Cat. 

After a few more photos, posing how they wanted, you see a fully dressed, head to toe, mask and all, Spider-Man. You had seen some spider-mans but most took off their masks to snap a picture. The person was the last in line. 

“Hey Black Cat.” The southern American accented voice tells you, seeming very familiar. 

“Hey, Spider, what poses do you have up your sleeve?” you ask kindly.

“I bought a few, Cat.” they laugh.

“Okay, You can do whatever a spider can right?” you pull out a line out of the comics jokingly.

“I can do flips if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Is that some kind of nerd pick-up line? Because it’s only kind of working.” you laugh. 

“I really can, but this is one.”

He gets down on one knee, holding a black cat mask instead of a ring. The photographer captures the shocked expression on your face.

“I- Don’t- What- Spider I-” 

“Ow My feelings…” Suddenly their voice changes into a British accent before they pull off the mask to reveal-

“Tom?”

“I guess you don’t have a spidey sense darling?” The photographer captures the moment without warning eating the moment up. 

You laugh at that. 

“I guess you found out my true identity Spider. And it’s nice to officially meet you, Tom.”

He laughs, just as nervous as you, he notices he has gotten closer to you and a strand of hair loosely is blowing in your face, so naturally, he pushes it behind your ear. Another snap of the camera can be heard. 

“NOW KISS!” a voice belonging to your best friend yells from the side, mid-eating a churro.

You both laugh really hard at that.

The both of you calm down, slowly leaning lost in the moment. The camera snaps again. You both look at the photographer weirded out, and they just shrug.

“Wait can you actually do a flip?” you ask, pulling away, not wanting prying eyes aka the photographer, to pry in your business. 

“I can, though I’d show you later, maybe in the greenroom?”

“That sounds naughty, but, sure.” you joke around. 

He laughs before, you both take off from the area going to grab the photos.

-

After spending most of the day together when you could, you get Tom’s number, before heading back to your hotel room. He texts you as soon as you get back. 

Spider: I had fun today, minus finding our assistants making out.

You: we should ‘snog’ too, it’ll gross them out ;)

You: I had fun too btw. Are you leaving tomorrow?

Spider: lol we should. And yeah an early flight, 6 am to be exact. Hbu?

You: Yeah me too... another day another dollar lol

Spider: ill miss you, Cat.

You: stop talking like we’ll never see each other again lol. As a matter of fact, come to my room, we’re watching a movie!

Spider: alright, I’ll order snacks. 

  You sigh smiling at your phone. You haven’t felt this giddy in a long time.

Your phone pings with a few Instagram notifications.

Tomholland2013 has started following you.

Tomholland2013 has tagged you in a photo.

You open Instagram to find the photo of him “proposing” to you posted.

“Ow, my leg, my- feelings...Welcome to the Universe, Cat.” the photo is captioned. You decide to post, the photo of him dipping you.

“So what do you say, Spider? Wanna help me pull off the Heist of the Heist of the Century?” you caption it, Before getting comfortable to watch a movie. 

What an opportunity ;)

Tags:

@lolooo22 @webmeupspiderdaddy @harryhollandsgirlfriend @spideyspeaches @greenorangevioletgrass @queenofthepouges @sheranatic111 @keithseabrook27

[fenoderee]

薫 [Guitar] Interview

Let's start with an interview with Kaoru, the main composer of the Band. He has been steering the Band in the direction of what he feels is new and interesting musically, but in what mode has he been working on the music now, and how did he complete the new song "Oboro"?

Nothing is interesting if it's exactly what you think it is at the beginning, but it becomes interesting if you think "it could look like this" and continue drawing.

-Since we're doing this remotely, I'm also curious about where you are now... Is it your home studio?

Kaoru: It's like a studio, a place where I write songs and draw pictures.

-A place where you can concentrate on one work. Have you had a studio for quite some time?

Kaoru: About five years ago. I've been using it since I started writing songs for 'The Insulated World' (released September 2018).

-I'm also curious about the monitor screen behind you, which I assume you're still writing songs on.

Kaoru: No, this is just the data for "Oboro". There's also a guitar in the composition.

-It's a studio that you can use freely 24 hours a day, are you the type of person who sets aside time to write songs?

Kaoru: Basically, I do, but it depends on the moment. When I'm in the mood, I don't need to set a time to write.

-I've heard that you've been writing songs for your next album for quite some time?

Kaoru: Yes. We started writing songs before we had finished "The Insulated World." I don't know if they will end up on the album or not, but I started writing them anyway.

-The style of your previous work was also key in terms of what inspired you to write a song and how you think about it, but what did you see in "The Insulated World“ that made you want to pursue it further?

Kaoru: To put it simply, I wanted to create something more intense. The last album was made with the intention of creating something intense, and the album before that "ARCHE" (released in December 2014), was a straightforward package of what we had created at that time. For the next album, I want to make sure that the songs I've chosen are the only ones I can think of. In that sense, I want to make a very intense album. I don't want it to be an intense album, or a slow album, or anything like that, but I want it to be a whole piece of work.

-Do you write your songs with the whole album in mind, rather than just one song at a time?

Kaoru: Yes, that's true. But when we first started writing the songs, I had a feeling about it, but I hadn't told the band yet.

-What kind of sounds and phrases come to you as a starting point when you are conscious of wanting to make something strong?

Kaoru: The way we create doesn't change much. It doesn't matter what the starting point is. I just start writing and then somewhere along the line I start to betray myself. I'll put in a phrase that sounds different. It's all about making the song more interesting. It's more like if you start off with the right idea, the song won't expand from there. I'm trying to find songs where I can find the unexpected.

-Do you also do some kind of input work to draw your own inspiration?

Kaoru: I do input, but I don't know if it's open or not. When I sit down in my studio and think "Come on, let's do it", I don't really think about anything else.

-Do you feel that starting to draw together has given some kind of feedback to your music?

Kaoru: I thought there would be, but not really (laughs). It's still the same, both in terms of salary and songs. If I tried to create it myself, I'd end up thinking in a very unorthodox way. The more I draw, the more I think the same way as I do when I write songs. It's not interesting if it's exactly what I had in mind from the start, but if I start drawing randomly and when something comes out, I think "it could look like this", and then I go on with it and it becomes interesting.

-So you don't like the fact that you can predict what you are going to do?

Kaoru: Yes. But in the case of a song, you can say "I've tried it, but I think I'll redo it", but with a picture, once you've put in one stroke, you can say "Oh, it's not the same", so the tension is different in that respect.

-Returning to the subject of one song, last year DIR EN GREY released "Ochita Koto no Aru Sora" as a download. When was this song born?

Kaoru: Last spring...well, it's been around for a while. It was a song that we had been working on. We reworked it and made it again.

-Were you in the mode of "I want to make it strong" from that point on?

Kaoru: I think we were in that mode, but I have an image of that song as a single, so it's a bit different. I wanted to put it together as a single, but with an unexpected twist. So it's a mixture of mellow, loud and core.

-But I think you felt you were able to move forward with one new song. Was there anything that came out of that?

Kaoru: It's still like we're trying to get our hands on something that's shrouded in mist. I'm still struggling with it.

-From what point did you start to make "This Single"?

Kaoru: Unusually for me, I started with a chord progression. I thought it would make a beautiful song. But as a song it was just a chord progression and I didn't have a definitive image yet. So I gave the members a listen to the song and said "Let's try it".

-Did you write the chord progressions while playing the guitar?

Kaoru: No, the keyboard. I thought it would be easier to understand the development of the song if I added the guitar when I played it for the members, so I did, but I hadn't added it before.

-A single keyboard is an instrument that makes it easy to visually see how the notes are stacked. Do you find it easier to move on to something unexpected if you use such an instrument?

Kaoru: When I'm creating phrases on the keyboard, I'm only imagining how the song will go. It's not that I'm trying to make the sound pile up purely because it's on the keyboard, but simply because it's easier to see than playing the guitar. This was especially true for "Oboro" and nowadays I always review the notes once on the keyboard. I also created "The World of Mercy" (released in September 2019) on the keyboard at first. When I added guitars to it, the song changed drastically.

-"Oboro" is finished in an arrangement that incorporates strings, but is the rough phrase of strings in your head from the beginning?

Kaoru: I didn't include it in the demo stage. In fact, I was thinking of not including it. But when I created the guitar solo and was thinking about what to do before it, I came up with the idea of strings. I put them in, and it worked out well, so I decided to put strings in the second half as well.

-So the guitar solo led to the string arrangement.

Kaoru: To put it coolly, yes (laughs). For a while we were trying to get rid of the guitar solo, but recently we've been trying to add the flavor of the guitar solo to the songs. I was struggling with this until about halfway through, when I really thought the guitar solo was necessary. Even now, there are times when I don't think it's necessary. But this is the same idea I had when I started adding guitar solos again. I grew up with that kind of music, and I was always impressed by the cool guitar solos of my favorite artists. I don't think solos are really necessary in this day and age, but as long as it's not too dull, it's okay. That's why I think about the phrases I use in my solos, but it's not like I have any deep feelings about them.

-When you were thinking about the phrases and melody for the guitar solo, did you have a song in mind yet?

Kaoru: I had a tentative song in mind, but I hadn't finished the verses yet.

-Oh, really? It's a solo with a melody and tone that fits the color of the poem very well.

Kaoru: So maybe it was my mouth that called up this poem (laughs).

-I'll say it, brother!

Kaoru: That's a lie, a lie (laughs). When I was thinking about the guitar solo, I felt like I was drawing a picture. I was trying to figure out what kind of sound I wanted the chords to make while creating a certain atmosphere. It's like I'm trying to figure out what emotion I want to put into it. The general idea was to keep the first phrase as it was, but change the nuances in the details.

It's limited, so you can't do something like a power collision, but it will surely be a live that is nothing but DIR EN GREY's live.

-You're a real romantic when you can get away with this kind of melody and arrangement.

Kaoru: Yeah, that's right (laughs).

-Another thing I noticed was how few guitar tracks there were. Is this a result of your desire for a change in the construction of the sound?

Kaoru: I think a lot of people feel that this song is easy to understand, but we just didn't make it easy to hear everything. If you listen to it carefully, it's actually not an easy song to understand at all...let's just say that (laughs). If you listen to it thinking that you can hear everything that is in it, you will never hear it. In fact, there are many "sounds" that are far away. I put them in such a way that you can't hear them. So I'm trying to make you feel it. I think the guitars in this song are meant to be felt. I don't want you to listen to it, but to feel it. That's why it doesn't come out with a bang, but there's something there. The number of tracks is smaller than in the days of "Dum Spiro Spero" (Continued in August 2011), but I thought it would be more interesting to let the listener hear that there are actually various sounds at key points. In that sense, I want the album to be dense.

-Did you come up with such a clever method while struggling with the music in your secret studio?

Kaoru: I'm basically twisted (laughs). But when I think something is not interesting, I naturally come up with something like that. When the album finally comes out, I think it's OK as long as everything is interesting and fits together. It's not like I haven't done this before, but this time I took the plunge.

-In this case, I think you have to be very careful about sound awards and mix balance. What kind of instructions did you give during the recording process?

Kaoru: I didn't make any detailed instructions. I just recorded it normally, reamped it in the studio, and at the last minute asked the engineer, "This is how I want it". The rest was left to the mix engineer. However, I had already talked with the members at the pre-production stage. I wanted the whole thing to sound like a warble, and the guitars were relatively up front. When it came time to mix it, I tried to make it more of a feeling than a sound.

-Neil Avalon was the mix engineer, was it easy to convey the subtle nuances?

Kaoru: Neil seemed to understand. Even so, it was difficult to convey even the most recognizable nuances, and I had many exchanges.

-You said you were going to have him play the guitar, but could you give us some pointers on "this part is actually the guitar"?

Kaoru: To make it easy to understand, in the A melody, there's a kind of arpeggio that goes back and forth. It's like a single note phrase.

-Is it an echo-like effect with a lot of depth?

Kaoru: Yes, yes. That's the one that's actually getting straightened out little by little (laughs). But you can't tell unless you listen carefully. The first shot is a bit choppy, so you can understand it, but the second half is very year-round and you may not understand it. It's interesting to understand.

-As I unraveled Oboro, using what you taught me as a hint, I felt like I was getting deeper and deeper into it.

Kaoru: Yes, I think it will be fun, so please listen carefully. Well, I'll try not to make you sit down (laughs).

-I'm a passenger, though, lol.

Kaoru: It's just something I came up with. But it wouldn't be interesting to have a song where everything is played, or where all the voices are heard, or where all the sounds of the five players must be heard because it's a band. If that's the case, then the guitar doesn't have to be played loudly.

-Did completing this song make what you wanted to do for the album clearer?

Kaoru: It's just that now that "Oboro" is done, I don't think there will be any more songs like this one (laughs). But we originally wrote this song as a ballad, and the album's ballad will be released as a single first. "Oboro" exists in my mind only as a single song, so I think I need a song with a different selection.

-Are you starting to give shape to it?

Kaoru: No, it takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of time for me and my team members to get to know each other. It's hard to find something that says, "Oh, you don't have to think that hard". So I try not to think about it (laughs).

-That's just like Dr. Den who is in album production mode (laughs). I always send the best car with the best machine to the landing place.

Kaoru: It's true. I can't decide, or rather I don't want to decide. I want to use the possibilities to the fullest as they grow. The members say to me, "Shouldn't you decide what kind of album you want to make?“ I usually answer, "No, I'd like to keep it a little more vague“. This always lasts until the second half of the album production (laughs).

-Since last year you haven't been able to perform live as much as you'd like, does that put you in a better frame of mind to concentrate on writing songs?

Kaoru: We haven't toured for a year now, we used to tour twice a year. Now I think there were hints in the casual conversations I had with the members in the dressing rooms before the gigs. I would get an idea for a song from a casual conversation, like "this song might fit this way". So I think it would be better if I had a chance to talk to the band members.

-Conversations with the members are different during the writing period and in the dressing room. In the dressing room, they might express their honest opinions, so it's easier to understand what they are thinking about.

Kaoru: Yes, that's true. It's hard to see because we don't have that now.

-Is your biggest input from your members?

Kaoru: I want to make decisions myself, but there are many things I can't decide. If the members say "it's good", I think "oh, it's good". I don't know if it's the right answer on my own.

-At the audience concert in May, I was asked to start by talking with the 5 members in the dressing room.

Kaoru: I don't think we have time for that (laughs). It's been a long time since I've been to a live concert.

-When the magazine goes on sale, the live performance will be in a few days. It's been a long time since you've done a live power exchange with the audience, how are you feeling now?

Kaoru: I sent my ideas for the setlist to the members just the other day, but no one responded, so I don't know if they think it's okay or if they'll think about it after rehearsal (laughs). I'm not sure how that will feel. But I'm not worried at all. I'm sure it will be nothing but a DIR EN GREY concert. Also, in a situation like this, everyone has their own opinion, and it doesn't mean that those who come to see the show are right. It will be the first one, or the beginning, or if it is the first step to get something, it will be the second step, so I would like to think about it after we try it.

Text/ YUKINOBU HASEGAWA, HIROKI KATAGIRI [GiGS/Equipment]

Photo/ REISHI EGUMA [C-LOVe CREATORS]

Translations by me.

[wordsnwhiskey]

As It Should Be Verse: Hold Onto The Sunset Drabble/Oneshot

A/N: This is my go at Writer Wednesday, hosted by the amazing @autumnleaves1991-blog . I've got this set in the future of the As It Should Be verse. I figured since Chapter 3: Statesmen & Demons left off on a bit of a sad note I'd give you guys some fluff to tide you over until Ch 4!

It's 03:30 here and this is unedited so I might come back and see if something is egregiously wrong but otherwise this is going to stand.

Warnings: None? Aside from a polyam MMF relationship that's all fluff (with PDA) here!

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x F!Reader x Frankie Morales [AO3]

The sand was warm beneath your toes as you shifted in your decidedly uneven folding chair. A few crushed beer cans littered the table but you were all too enthralled in your game of Hold ‘Em to care. The smell of charcoal and grilled food floats teasingly in the air. Santiago had abandoned your game to go and start grilling otherwise we won’t eat until the sun’s long gone. Yeah, that was it. It had nothing to do with the fact that he had handedly lost his last hand and consequently the rest of his money, to Frankie.

It was Jack’s turn to deal and you watch his large hands palm and manipulate the well-worn deck. The whirring sound of the cards folding together followed by the sharp tap against the table as he shuffled was calming and sounded as natural as the ocean waves licking at the beach did. You paused a moment before looking at your cards to try to gauge everyone else's reactions only to find three pairs of brown eyes and one pair of green eyes staring back at you. Laughter rang out across the table, that’s just what happens when you play poker with Statesmen agents and Delta Force vets. Schooling your facial expressions, you peel back the corners of your cards to see your hand: a Jack and 10 of spades.

“Call.” Came Tequila’s cheery drawl.

“Fold.” Ginger sighed and tossed her cards back to the center of the glass table.

“I’m getting another beer from the cooler. Does anyone else want one?”

Her question was met with chorus of ‘pleases’ and ‘thank yous’. She smiled then rolled her eyes and went about collecting the cold, wet cans from the cooler.

“Call.” Continues Jack with his trademark smirk.

“Call.” Frankie’s voice is a bit rough from having just downed the remainder of his beer.

You called wordlessly, your chips following the others’ as they clinked on the glass table top, then Jack dealt the flop: 9 of hearts, 8 of spades and Ace of diamonds.

Jack’s gaze was on you, gauging your reaction and wondering if you had an Ace to match the one on the table. The betting went around, Jack raised, a classic aggressive opening move from him, but you were all somewhat surprised when Frankie re-raised him. All eyes narrowed at Frankie. The man had a scary good poker face, keeping the tension out of his jaw and meeting everyone’s gaze with those brown puppy eyes of his. It was how he had trounced Santi earlier.

Ginger came back with your beers and set them down on the table before taking back her seat, watching in amusement. You called and Jack dealt the turn card: a Queen of spades.

“You waitin’ on a Jack there darlin’?”

Jack challenged and raised, his voice was rough honey as he tried to get a rise out of you.

You let a laugh spill from your lips and your own mischievous smirk lights a spark in your eye.

“Oh no, I’ve already got a Jack and you’re more than enough. I don’t think I could handle another.”

Frankie’s neutral face breaks into a wide grin and Jack’s mind starts spinning, trying to assess all of the possible meanings behind what you just said. The three of you call and Jack throws down the river: a 7 of spades. What were the fucking odds?

Tequila frowned then checked, Jack raised, Frankie called and you re-raised. A collection of groans were uttered across the table but they all ponied up anyways.

“Straight Flush. Pay up boys!”

You don’t even bother to hide the smugness in your voice. Tequila huffed and cracked his beer open.

“Santiago! Is the food done yet? I thought you said we’d be eating before the sun went down?”

He was exaggerating of course, it wasn’t nearly that late and the summer sun was slow to set over the water. Tequila got up to go and lick his wounds with Santiago around the grill. You got up as well, walking around and pressing a kiss to Frankie’s lips before Jack unceremoniously tugged you into his lap for a kiss as well and smiled.

“C’mere, darlin’ I want one too.”

His smile is good natured, your boys were rarely ever jealous of each other. Something cold and wet makes you jump, your eyes darting to the offending object only to see Frankie’s wide grin and mischievous eyes as he holds your cold beer to your arm. You playfully smack Frankie’s arm then take your beer with a thank you. You’re pleasantly surprised when Frankie lifts your legs to rest in his lap, his fingers grazing over them as he sips his own beer.

Frankie deals the next hand and you can’t help but giggle at how ridiculous it is being in Jack’s lap and trying to keep your cards from each other. Ginger wipes the floor with all of you that hand.

Hooting and hollering, draws your group’s attention across the beach and you see Benny and Will ambling across the sand, each with a six pack in their hands. Benny practically tackles Santiago as he brings him in for a hug.

“Hey! Watch it Benny, I’m grilling here!”

Will shakes his head and pulls Santi in for a decidedly calmer hug and Benny is already waltzing over to the table where you, Frankie, Whiskey, Ginger and Tequila are. Frankie lets your feet down and stands to give Benny a hug.

“Fish! Good to see ya man!”

“Good to see you too, Benny.”

You’re out of Jack’s lap, to his slight dismay, and hugging Benny, it had been years since you had last seen the lovable younger Miller brother.

“Benny, this is Whiskey, Ginger and Tequila, we all work together.”

Benny didn’t even bat an eye and just greeted everyone with a large smile.

“Whiskey, Ginger and Tequila! Well, don’t you all sound like fun!”

Laughter rang out amongst everyone and Santiago called out that the food was done.

“Why don’t you stay here, honey. Benny and I will get plates for you and Whiskey.”

Frankie wasn’t really asking a question and it wasn’t much of a choice since you found yourself once again back in Jack’s lap, his mustache tickling your skin as his lips pressed to your cheek then temple.

Benny clapped Frankie on the back as they walked over to where Santiago had set out their food.

“So you and Hawk and… ?”

“Yeah, and Whiskey, the three of us, together.”

Benny eyed Frankie for a moment, more out of concern than any judgement.

“Well right on, Fish. It’s good to see you happy. About time with Hawk too, huh?”

Frankie fought and lost against his blush, playfully shoving Benny. They brought their plates back to where you and Whiskey were sitting. Frankie put Whiskey’s plate down, inched his chair closer then sat down. Benny handed you your plate with a flourish.

“Here you go, baby.”

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head and smiling at him even as Jack’s grip on your hip tightened slightly.

“Thanks, Benny.”

He left the three of you then and went to mingle with Ginger and Tequila.

The three of you ate in easy silence. Your feet were draped across Frankie’s lap, your back cradled by Jack’s arm and head resting on his shoulder. Frankie’s fingers alternated between tracing patterns over your skin and resting on Jack’s free hand.

Laughter played off of the sand and air around you, mixing with the sound of the waves. A light, content smile played across your lips as you watched your friends together. It was getting darker now and the sky was painted varying shades of pink, purple, and orange.

“Wow.”

The word slipped from your mouth in awe. Frankie and Jack hummed their agreement in unison and you swear sometimes they were on the same wavelength. You let out a long sigh then take a sip of your beer and settle in further against Jack.

“Whatcha thinking, honey?”

Frankie’s voice is just above a whisper, as if talking any louder would break the spell of perfection that had settled around your group and mother nature.

“I wish I could just hold onto this moment, hold onto this sunset. I’m with the loves of my life, for the first time my family is all together, they’re all having fun and I can’t think of a place I’d rather be than right here watching this sunset.”

Jack held you tighter and kissed your shoulder while Frankie brought your knuckles to his lips.

“We love you too, honey. Couldn’t imagine being anywhere else either.”

Frankie murmurs against your skin and you feel Jack’s hum through his chest. You take in the sight before you, memorizing it so you can paint the canvas in your mind and hold this moment with you, your own slice of heaven. Breathing in, you hold onto the remnants of charcoal from the grill and the salt from the ocean. You hold onto the feeling of the warmth radiating from the last rays of the fading light. It gives way to the heat emanating from Jack and Frankie, which envelops not just your body but your soul as well. You let out a sigh as Frankie leans in closer to you and Jack.

You were going to hold onto this sunset for the rest of your days.

Thanks for reading y'all!

Taglist: @danniburgh @pascalslittlebrat @yespolkadotkitty @mothandpidgeon @mouthymandalorianalso @phoenixhalliwell @itsme-aj467 @kesskirata @rosiefridayrogersunday-reads @driedgreentomatoes @pintsizemama @neganwifey25-blog @wheresarizona @absurdthirst @sarahjkl82-blog @duchesschameleon @sherala007 @beautyagegoodnesssize @all-hallows-evie @a-bang-for-your-bucky

[moderator-monnie]

Oh yea no this blog started following us in like. The beginning. I'd say it was 2019, early so. Cuz I can remember still being in high-school looking through this blog, and only found Charlie later! You never interacted with any of us, but we loved to watch and just observe. I will admit some of the stuff has helped various members of our system through hard times and I believe we actually tried to make an ask blog inspired by charlie!! That was. Forever ago (it feels like a lot to me because lots of stuff has happened and lots of memory gaps) I've always kinda like. Looked up to you I suppose? At least I have, the host! I'm lepiota, by the way :) I'm the host of our system. They/it/he. I wanted to send a lot of asks and interact but we as a collective have social anxiety and are terrified of messing up and getting like. A callout post or something HSNDJDKDJ but yea, waves! It's interesting seeing this blog grow up with us yk?

Mod Monnie: I WORRY ABOUT THOES THINGS TOO and nice to meet you as well lepiota! what a unique and wonderful name

and damn really? i swear i should have interacted with you guess i forgot sorry about that

and oh man you tried to make a blog inspired by charlie too? gosh thoes are some of the coolest things i've been seeing lately!

honestly if you made your own character it's likely i'd consider it canon! the charlie verse is welcome for anyone to join and create their own stories!

and hey i understand that feeling of wanting to interact but not be able to it can get hard sometimes i struggle to send asks alot i litearly have to close my eyes and press the button and close tumblr after i send them

also i am glad that i've helped you even in some small ways honestly makes my day hearing that

ahh jeez 2019 the year this all started back when i had no lore figured out no long goals hell if it weren't for the positive reception and doggo himself charlie could have just lasted a few months

but since i know how happy charlie can make people it's why i keep going why i make more and more posts

this cursed fuck is far from over and ever expanding thank you for reaching out seriously this was a pleasant surprise at 4am

((Don't worry thats a normal time for me lmao i am awake till around 5 or 6am every day))

[2small-frog]

"last words (of a shooting star)"

(a/n: hi. u m so . this is quite heavy. i had to cut a verse of the song out bc i Physically Couldn't write it i apologize . this was sort of just my brain going "what if caelum didn't make it to the freelancer in time?" anyways pls pls do not read this if it's not something you can handle rn!! please be safe i love u)

character(s): freelancer

cw: !!! suicidal thoughts and suicide !!!, descriptions of toxic relationships, family issues, abandonment, just all around bad feelings. this does not have a good ending if you could not tell

all of this turbulence wasn't forecasted, apologies from the intercom

and i am relieved that i'd left my room tidy, they'll think of me kindly when they come for my things

they could've never guessed things would turn out like this.

they never asked for things to turn out like this, why would they? the cold, autumn breeze nipped at their cheeks as they looked down on the quiet streets, dimly lit by scattered lampposts. this high up, the air was much more chilling and crisp. under any other circumstances, it would have been refreshing after a long week. a break from the stuffiness of the city below. but not today.

they'd been alone for what felt like forever. a humanborn freelancer, just barely twenty years old, thrust into a world they barely knew. a world they would have to figure out alone. they had nobody by their side like they had planned; their parents being the ones to push them away, all of their closest friends abandoning them, saying their abilities were "too freaky" and they "didn't want to deal with it all". they didn't want to be around someone so different from them.

that's fine. they understood. the department probably wiped their memories of any magical powers, anyways. they wouldn't even remember.

they just wish they had someone. anyone. to make them feel less alone. to hold them and tell them that they would be okay.

they thought back to the last look at their barren room; books filed neatly into the shelves, stray pencils and pens organized into the small holder on their desk, clean clothes folded up at the foot of their bed. at least they had that going for them.

one less thing for whomever cleaned out their apartment to fuss over.

they'll never know how i'd stared at the dark in that room with no thoughts, like a blood-sniffing shark

and while my dreams made music in the night carefully i was going to live

it was so easy. so simple. just put on a smile, a facade of sorts, and let people believe that everything was just fine. like their world hadn't been crumbling for the past seven months.

nobody at their work had suspected a thing. all they cared about was the freelancer coming in to do their job everyday, and that they did it well. they made sure to smile real bright around people, enough so that their coworkers never noticed their bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks after their quick "bathroom breaks" during the day. or the soft trembling that has recently seemed to take over their entire body, almost as if their very core was shaking.

they never questioned the far away look in the freelancer's eyes whenever the rest of the employees would bring up plans with their family or friends. no questions were asked when they started getting quieter, talking less and less throughout their shifts.

even if they did notice, the freelancer wouldn't accept any help anyways. they didn't need to burden anyone else.

would they even bother to offer any help?

sometimes they would lay awake at night, hoping that someone would. that they'd reach a hand out to them, even if they refused to take it. sometimes knowing that someone would was enough to keep them afloat. to keep their head above water just enough.

you wouldn't leave till we loved in the morning you'd learned from movies how love ought to be

and you'd say you love me and look in my eyes but i know through mine, you were looking in yours

the only people they've had since this whole mess started were bad for them. well, bad was an understatement, really.

they'd used the freelancer for their (very limited) powers, for pleasure, cash and the like. they would take and take and take from them, but as soon as the freelancer asked for something in return, perhaps some comfort? a hug? words of encouragement? they were turned away without a second thought.

they would only be there for the good times or when the freelancer had something to give.

they would hear the phrase "i love you", but the words were hollow without any actions to back them up. when was the last time that anyone had meant those words for them? they couldn't recall.

at least those people had kept their magic a secret. or had they? it didn't really matter anymore.

they had cut the bad seeds out of their life a while ago. that was a good decision. those people had hurt them, they knew that. their behavior was exactly what the freelancer was told to stay away from their entire life.

but a part of them, the lonely and desperate part, the part that they'd tried so hard to keep quiet, would take them back in a heartbeat right about now; if only just for the cruel illusion of companionship.

i always wanted to die clean and pretty but i'd be too busy on working days

so i am relieved that the turbulence wasn't forecasted i couldn't have changed anyways

this wasn't ideal. none of this was.

they always dreamed of falling in love. living a long, fulfilling life with their partner and going peacefully, all fixed up in an expensive looking coffin. they imagined flowers adorning their headstone, placed their by loved ones who had come to grieve every so often. was that selfish of them?

selfish or not, it was unrealistic. they didn't have time for falling in love. they only had time for working double shifts, trying desperately to keep themself housed and fed.

but they wouldn't have to think about that anymore, would they?

they shakily smiled to themself.

i am relieved that i'd left my room tidy goodbye

they didn't bother writing a note. who would read it anyways?

a pair of worn sneakers on a rooftop and a darkened, barely lived-in apartment would be all that remained of the humanborn freelancer.

@the-phantoms-library @theodorebasmanov @planticusp @sunberrybush @myanettes @daviah @bug-likes-monsters

[vilegroove]

Lyrics from 'Dark Tales From The Insulation Booth' (03/31/21)

For all those hip-hop purists and anyone wanting to get down with that Hank Solo lingo.

STEM CELL RESEARCH

It goes counterintelligence, Berenstein psy-op Schwarzschild radius, holographic mind job I’m a ticking time bomb stuck inside this nightmare It’s warfare for the welfare of the poor From tenement to parliament the charlatans of artifice In shadows stocking armaments or ornaments with arguments Coordinates are carpeted while Harlequins are marketed Unfortunate subordinates are targeted by Artemis I sit solo, spit a mental freestyle No polo, UH I spent it on these re-fries Meanwhile I filleth up the syllabus In real time and if I spill enough to pick it up I just might reach minds Smash atoms, push phantoms into chasms Is it a random happenstance Or a predetermined anthem? Step inside a web this some spider vs fly shit Step into a world this some Illuminati eye shit What would you do if you had no shoes? And you had no rules and you had no school? What would you choose? If the choice ain’t yours Ain’t your chore, Ain’t your war, Ain’t your battle, Ain’t your fight You’re just standing in line man waiting to die They pulling strings with grizzled fingers While the stem cell research helps them linger Tempers up, fear the farming In a cave under threat of a terror bombing Nails clawing, the cause of flesh wounds Supply and demand panoramic cesspools Inhale jet fuel on the way to school man Chemtrails forming the new pollutant Confusing the students and keeping them stupid Obtuse attitudes, man, these dudes be ruthless On point to the point I barricade the joint Inhale, exhale man this tasters choice Blue bloods eschew mud, chew cud like us cattle We battered and bruised up but we still fucking battle Never let em get to you - Ask me bout the subterfuge War and peace entwining in an ever whirling centrifuge Veteran rookie: Dichotomy so sue me Used to Hank Solo now I roar like Wookie

SHARK TANK (feat. CHIEFFY)

[VERSE 1 - HANK]

Christ I get wicked when I'm alone and I'm lit Smoke clones and then spit till I foam at the lips My ego cast a shadow that could cause an eclipse And I can't get through doors cause my head won't fit I'm starvin' like Marvin, lookin' for a target I'm barkin' dark jargon like I'm stalkin' park joggers My though pattern is laced with dark matter Fight alien races is space an spark blaster I spit lines for like minds who smoke kind I write rhymes with weight that warp space time Ante-up I'm about to erupt Krakatoa flow all over Like I'm bustin' a nut, spray paint Jackson Pollock All over her gut - Dirty Harry on the mic But you ain't sweeping me up I'm a sad sap but I can rhyme not half bad Cause I been mixing words since I was sperm Inside my dads sack Yakkity-Yak Don't talk back, as a matter of fact Rewind the track back so you can practice your rap I'm high gloss your skills are not polished You're whack and lack knowledge Go back to clown college - Fuck taxes, pay homage I'm glad you acknowledged Hank is just flawless I'm bank your just wallet

[MAIN HOOK × 2]

I'm cold like deep space I master this pace Knock you flat face In fact my sharp skates Cut circles round you lark fakes Question what marks make Shave you to carp flakes For use in my shark tank

[BRIDGE - CHIEFFY]

Let’s jump in it, I’m with it I’m finna kill it and stay I've been the realest Since dealers was Shitting diapers away Blank face I don’t keep it at bay

[VERSE 2 - CHIEFFY]

No whale watching, I’m hopping But no landing, I’m offing to each planet I’m locked in, nigga said I’m a Martian You niggas fandom, I’m popping But got plans to just pop him I’m a man no ones stopping Fire plans imma watch them gain Burn away just like Mary Jane I put away, she too nice for days, make way Cause I’m burning all the mainframes No place to lay I ain’t keeping all you plain janes Just some grams and Violas In my denim jeans, we keep it real Chef Chief serving up them fiends. Mother Fucker.

[MAIN HOOK × 2]

Hank: Alright, let's go home

Jay: One more take

LET ME TELL YOU (feat. AQUAKULTRE)

[VERSE 1 - HANK SOLO]

Calling all cars, calling all cars check No red on neck no death stars left Cloud nine? Found my rye moldy Back bent over like a lawn chair folding Cats maw scolding, guts on fire Eyes why at the sky as the pyre grows higher Seems unwind from his old grey coat, Whether freestyle rhyme or line from a note Spine unaligned all in a twist, Time on a line s'all in the wrist Hood up, man-boobs, thyroid leaking, Ballpoint sketch like a fanboy geeking I'm open in the middle I'm closed at both ends I'm a villain to my family I'm a hero to my friends Grasp at the last straw sinner to his kin, Juxtapose foes who just oppose this.

[HOOK - ARETHA FRANKLIN]

People let me tell you, I work hard every day I get up out of bed, and put on my clothes 'Cuz I got bills to pay

[VERSE 2 - AQUAKULTRE]

(Don't fall a-haha) When we drive, we feeling all the trees get the breezin The Cuts is Vile, I like the way he mistreat em I can give 'em bars a plenty that’s critical but I'd rather heal with words, that’s medicinal It's time to give a good vibration Break bread and conversate over good libations The frustration no hesitation, will arise Higher then a peregrine falcon in the sky Peace to the nieces and nephews I raise And the son I don't got, father figure I stay You know we got it, I figured I be The Martyr For working class guppies Just tryna make it to supper And we keep it very clever, Uh HUH, yo Whatever the case I waste no time Serving em with a taste But foist let me put on on my woirk boots and grab a dairy milk before I make it to curfew We Breezing

Juxtapose foes who just oppose this.

DOWNLOAD FOR FREE AT VILEGROOVE.BANDCAMP.COM

[between-two-fandoms]

I wanted to ask for a fic set before the guys died where maybe Luke and Alex realized that Reggie has some sort of PTSD maybe?? (If possible, I'd like Reggie and Luke to be together 👉🏼👈🏼) 💜

Oof. 

This ask has been staring at me for weeks and I’ve been staring back at it, then ignoring it exists because for the life of me I couldn’t figure out what the hell to write. I’m so sorry it took me this long to figure it out! Hopefully you like it! The fic’ll be under the cut, it got away from me... as do most of my prompted works, lmao.

Is This Real Life?

Summary:

Luke knew something was going on with Reggie, but it wasn’t until the bassist broke down during rehearsal did he realize how bad Reggie was really getting. Luckily Julie and Alex were there to help, because Luke didn’t know Reggie’s flashbacks could still happen since they became ghosts, and he definitely wouldn’t have been able to help Reggie through this one alone.

Luke didn’t notice it until after they were all dead and playing with Julie in the studio one day. They were running through a few newer songs he and Julie had written over the weekend. The songs were all set up to be anthems, upbeat and energetic. Luke was positive they’d get their audience dancing on their feet by the end of the first verse. It happened just as he strummed the last chord of the song though… Reggie’s thing. The bassist flinched when Alex slammed his drumsticks onto the cymbals with a tad more aggression than necessary. When Luke met Reggie’s eyes he could tell something was off. He couldn’t pinpoint it, the exact moment the usual light in Reggie’s eyes dimmed, but it happened. “Reggie, everything okay?” Luke asked as Julie switched her sheet music for a different song. He took note of Reggie’s right hand shaking as he tried to re-tune the bass. Reggie nodded and plastered on a painfully fake smile.

“Of course I’m okay Luke!” Reggie exclaimed with a bit too much excitement. “Why wouldn’t I be?” Luke frowned as Reggie started looking around the studio, like he was confused about where he was. It was painfully similar to how they all looked when they first appeared at Caleb’s club the night of the Orpheum performance. Reggie was getting jittery… and anxious… something was very clearly not right. Alex stopped drumming his slow beat and glanced at Luke in concern.

“Reggie,” Luke said, taking a slow step forward. He took off his guitar and rested it against it’s stand. Reggie winced and took a tripped backwards, foot catching on a loose amp chord. We really should tape those down, Luke reminded himself, before turning his attention back to his now-terrified friend. Reggie hit the ground with a thunk and instantly curled into himself. He was shivering like it was freezing in the room, even though the sun was up and shining through the windows.

“‘M sorry,��� Reggie mumbled, trying to reel in whatever composure he thought passed as normal. “‘M not a fag, not a fag,” Reggie said, and it sounded like he was pleading with someone. Luke’s heart clenched when Reggie flinched back, as though he was expecting to get hit by something. Julie let out a gasp of surprise, and Luke looked to Alex for help. Alex poofed next to Luke and the two of them sat close enough to their bandmate so he’d know they were there, and that they weren’t trying to hurt them. Luke’s heart ached at the sight of his friend, Reggie was the youngest out of the three of them, even if it was only by a few months.

“Luke,” Julie said quietly, not wanting to scare Reggie anymore than he already was. “What’s going on?” She stayed by the piano, but he could tell she was concerned. Luke just looked at her helplessly as Alex tried to calm Reggie down.

“‘M sorry!” Reggie yelled suddenly, then threw himself backwards like he got slapped across the face. Luke tensed as he realized what was happening. Reggie’s parents fought constantly when they were alive, about every little thing that could possibly be fought about. He remembered when Alex had come out to everyone, and to their parents. “Not sick, ‘m not sick,” Reggie muttered as Alex failed to get through to him. Emily and Mitch were supportive and understanding, but Reggie’s parents… from what little Luke actually remembered about them… they seemed indifferent about the whole Alex-being-gay thing. It was like they were fine with it as long as if their own son wasn’t gay… Realization dawning on Luke he knelt down and reached forward with his hand hesitantly, but he inevitably rested it on Reggie’s shoulder. Reggie tried to get away from his touch, thrashing around on the floor. Luke held his own though as he shifted so Reggie could see him.

“Reggie it’s Luke,” Luke said, trying to stay as calm as he could. Alex backed away to give them space, which he appreciated. Reggie’s hitched and the terrifying, shuddering breaths started to slow down. “Yeah, there you go. You’re safe remember? You’re here with me and Alex, in the studio.” He continued on, comforting, grounding words that were safe. Words that he knew reminded Reggie of times where he felt safe.

“Luke?” Reggie asked, a hint of doubt in his voice. Luke shifted his hand from Reggie’s shoulder to cupping the bassist’s cheek. Reggie was too exhausted to fight back, instead leaning into the palm of his hand. Luke eyed him carefully, watching for any signs of any sort of panic or anxiety attack. Reggie’s hands were still shaking slightly, but other than that he seemed to be doing a million times better than he was before. Luke let out a shaky laugh as he rested his forehead against Reggie’s.

“Yeah bud,” Luke said as he ran a hair through Reggie’s hair. “Hey,” Luke said, trying to keep Reggie talking. “Remember that time when we swapped Bobby’s guitar with a uke?” He asked, causing Julie to snort from across the room. Reggie gave him a wobbly smile in response, and Luke knew he was going in the right direction.

“He was -” Reggie coughed, “he was so bad at it.” Luke nodded as Alex somehow managed to dig out Reggie’s flannel from whatever pile of crap it was hiding under. Alex draped it over Reggie’s shoulders and he pulled it around him tightly.

“He had to play all of his solos on it during the gig, remember? His face got so red during the performance. I thought he was going to turn into a tomato,” Alex recalled with a light chuckle. Luke looked at Julie then nodded, and she bolted across the studio to where they were sitting. She knelt behind Reggie then said,

“Reggie, it’s Julie.” Reggie sagged, like a heavyweight was just lifted from them. She hummed, “You’re going to be okay. Can I play with your hair?” To Luke’s surprise, Reggie answered verbally with a whispered,

“Yes.” Taking her position, Julie settled in as she started running her hands through Reggie’s hair. The effect was imminent, and Reggie fell into her arms as she continued to murmur hushed words of comfort into his ears. Luke smiled gratefully at her and she smiled back at him. When five minutes passed and Reggie was obviously passed out in Julie’s lap she kept her hand in his hair.

“You don’t have to tell me anything…” Julie assured both Luke and Alex, who were both trying to figure out how to explain the situation without outing Reggie to her. Luke watched as Reggie slept peacefully, more relaxed than he ever did before they died. Sighing Luke nodded and ran a hand through his hair,

“Yeah. We do…” He exchanged a look with Alex, who nodded in support. They fell into a sort of uncomfortable silence as Luke tried to compile a comprehensive story to explain how shitty Reggie’s parents were. Alex took the lead,

“His parents used to fight… a lot. We knew it was bad, but he never let us go to his house or even be in the same room as his parents for longer than ten minutes. They barely went to our gigs… unless you count the one we accidentally booked in the bar his dad drank in.” Reggie made a soft noise of content when Julie resumed petting his hair. Luke couldn’t help but let a smile curve at the corners of his lips. Julie really was their saving grace... He picked up the story where Reggie left off,

“They weren’t the best but they were supportive when the could be… until Alex came out.” A look of guilt crossed Alex’s face. Luke quickly glared at him, “it’s not your fault and you know that Alex. They were shit parents, it would’ve happened even if you hadn’t.” Alex looked slightly less guilty, and Luke took it as a win. He could only handle one crisis at a time. Julie cleared her throat,

“So Reggie’s parents were homophobic?” Luke winced at the word,

“Not exactly. They were fine with Alex being gay, as long as he didn’t spread his ‘disease’ to their son.” An angry look crossed Julie’s face and Luke set a mental reminder to never make her pissed of at him.

“They what?” She asked, hissing the words. Luke nodded as Reggie shifted in his feet. His flannel fell slightly off him so Luke pulled it back over his shoulders.

“He didn’t want you to find out like this… but he’s bisexual. We both are… we’re exes,” Luke said tripping over his words as he did so. Julie’s eyebrows furrowed together in brief confusion, then her eyes widened.

“Oh… oh, you know I was wondering what those angsty-pondering looks were about.” Luke frowned,

“You don’t care?” He asked, confusion evident in his voice. Julie’s soft grin made Luke feel warm again, like he did back when she gave them her hug of life.

“I’m glad you told me, but it doesn’t change who you are.” She glanced at Alex then said, “just like how being gay doesn’t change who Alex is. You’re you and well… there’s always going to be assholes out there but as long as you remember who you are, then that’s enough.” A melody started working it’s way into Luke’s head. He started to hum it and Alex lounged on the floor next to Julie, he joined the three of them and curled into her other side. Reggie was sandwiched between them all, and Luke wrapped him and Julie up in his arms.

“You three really love each other, don’t you?” Julie asked as Alex’s soft snores filled the air. Luke hummed in response, then combed a hand through his hair instead of Reggie’s.

“We love you too Jules,” Luke promised, basking in her soft touches. Julie let out a soft chuckle,

“I know Luke. I love you guys too.” She started humming a song, he caught the words perfect harmony here and there and realized it was the same song that he thought of earlier. Luke didn’t want to think much of it though, he just wanted to hold his boys and his girl in his arms and keep them safe for a few hours longer.