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#learn english through story level 1
duongthidinh · 9 months
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Do you think all the characters are assholes?
Because i think they are despite their tragic backstories and i also don't think they appreciate Yuu enough, except for maybe the first years
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I mean, the TWST characters are (mostly) inspired by Disney villains... Plus, they’re immature high schoolers still in the process of emotionally maturing. Of course they're not going to be perfect balls of sunshine. They're all going to be rude or have faults in their own ways, but they also have their strengths and charm points. I do call them assholes (lovingly), but I would hesitate to slap a singular label on any of the characters when they're all very well-rounded and morally ambiguous.
On the topic of Yuu, I think it makes sense that most of the cast doesn't really "appreciate" them. To begin with, most of the characters are not the openly sentimental types; they wouldn’t overtly express that gratitude even if it were present. Then we have to consider that Yuu isn't directly involved in their character growth or arcs in most cases; it's often the other characters who are confronting the OB boys or instigating, physically battling them to snap them out of it, and then comforting them afterwards.
As early as book 1, that pattern holds true. Ace is the one that initially pissed Riddle off. Adeuce are dueling Riddle. Ace decks Riddle and claims his last straw. Trey is the one calling out to Riddle as he's losing it. It's the members of Heartslabyul who gather around Riddle when he reawakens following the OB. (I'm not going to go through and list off what happens in every single book, but I'm sure you can think of many other instances... Lilia insulting Leona, Deuce and Epel having the heart-to-heart on the beach, Octavinelle's plot against Jamil, the twins checking up on Azul post-OB, etc.) To me, it feels like it is the boys and their bonds with one another responsible for the change, not Yuu's involvement. Yuu is usually along for the ride and actually does and says very little despite all the fandom jokes about "being the school's unpaid but overworked therapist" or Crowley's shallow claim that Yuu can help the boys learn to cooperate (which feels more like a vague ruse only shown in the prologue to shoehorn Yuu into the plot). There's actually very little in-game that shows them being active in helping the students change for the better. Much of the time, the boys can resolve their own struggles to get along without Yuu being there (like all those pair-ups in book 6–sure, it may have taken a while, but the fact remains that they did eventually resolve their own issues and cooperate without Yuu having to orchestrate for them; this also happens many times in events like Port Fest, Wish Upon a Star, Ghost Marriage, the Halloween events, etc). A very common complaint (at least among English speaking players) is that Yuu isn’t “involved enough” or that they don’t have a big impact on the events of the story. Therefore, most of the boys not feeling close or indebted to Yuu makes sense from their POV. What has Yuu actually and explicitly done to help them? Not much. It’s mainly in individual fan interpretations where Yuu/a Yuusona/an OC in Yuu’s role is actually able to play a more substantial part in each characters’ life and growth. In general, the standard in-game Yuu is more of a "fly on the wall" character that witnesses events unfold rather than someone who plays a large role in each book. The boys are seemingly the main characters, not Yuu. It's just convenient to have Yuu/a blank slate in the story because they, as an outsider, need TWST concepts explained to them (thus making it easier to give exposition to the players who may also be unfamiliar with the information). The first years, by comparison, are closer to Yuu simply because 1) Yuu is implied to be in the same year level as them (so they're more likely to be exposed to one another) and 2) their preestablished relationships with Grim, Ace, and Deuce opens them up more to first year interactions. "Friends of friends", if you will. It makes more sense than Yuu being appreciated and loved by everyone/most people in the main cast of 22ish. (How many people do you know irl that have 22ish significant friends?) They spend the most time together. Everyone else tends to stick to their own groups (with maybe the exception of Heartslabyul, since Yuu is already close with Adeuce). They’re just... not as intimate with Yuu, and therefore not as inclined to find much appreciation for them.
I want to clarify that this doesn’t mean there are zero instances of the characters outside of the first years expressing gratitude toward Yuu. Like, of the OB boys, it’s only Vil who consistently apologizes for the trouble he caused (note though: it’s not specifically to Yuu, but to everyone in the VDC/SDC squad. Yuu is then given prize money from most of the other boys as thanks for letting them crash at Ramshackle… Of those, only Kalim cites being grateful that he was able to stay and have fun with everyone because of Yuu green lighting the decision. This makes sense, as Kalim’s one of the few who wears his heart on his sleeve and is friendly to most. It just isn’t true for the majority of the cast, and we shouldn’t expect it to be.
As late as book 5, you can see characters like Leona not being so happy to be called out to or for Grim to act all buddy-buddy with him. That indicates to me that the rest of the cast is not that close to Yuu + related parties and doesn't have a real reason to be. (Note: I'm not counting character voice lines here as proof of friendliness with Yuu, as it can be argued that the relationships and events explored in the cards don't run in tandem with the main story and are meant more as fanservice for the players.)
Again, while it's not that fun to read in a narrative, it does leave things open-ended for anyone who wants to self-insert or to expand on those blank relationships for their own characters. I believe this is by design to appeal on an individual level to players. You get out of it what you put into it!
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tokidokitokyo · 3 months
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ことわざ 17/?
ことわざ are Japanese proverbs, and I have listed some basic proverbs, their equivalents in English, and a rough translation of the meanings of the Japanese phrase.
There is a test for ことわざ called the ことわざ能力検定 (ことわざのうりょくけんてい) and these are some of the phrases that appear in level 9 or 9級 (10 being the lowest level). For the time being, try one or two of these out the next time you speak with a native Japanese speaker!
ことわざ (こと検9級): 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 More ことわざ (こと検10級): 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
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眉を顰める
まゆをひそめる
to furrow your brow
furrow your brow
緑の黒髪
みどりのくろかみ
lustrous black hair
black hair with a greenish sheen
身に染みる
みにしみる
to be deeply moved; to have wind/cold pierce the body
a feeling that permeates the body
身につまされる
みにつまされる
to be touched by another's plight
feel a pinch of guilt on your body
身の毛がよだつ
みのけがよだつ
hair-raising; spine-tingling
have your body's hair stand up in fear or from cold
耳が痛い
みみがいたい
hitting close to home
accurate criticism that is painful to the ear
耳が早い
みみがはやい
in the know
ears are quick to receive new information
耳に入れる
みみにいれる
to inform
put into someone's ear
耳に胼胝ができる
みみにたこができる
to hear ad nauseum
told something so much it creates calluses in your ears
耳に付く
みみにつく
irritating or annoying (sound)
a sound that sticks in the ear
耳寄りな話
みみよりなはなし
a topic of interest
talk that makes ears approach
耳を疑う
みみをうたがう
to doubt your own ears
doubt your ears
耳を貸す
みみをかす
to lend an ear
lend an ear
耳を傾ける
みみをかたむける
to listen closely
tilt your ear over to listen
耳を澄ます
みみをすます
to focus your attention (and listen)
clear out your ears
耳を揃える
みみをそろえる
to get the money together (to pay a debt)
arrange the ears (edges) of your coins
身を入れる
みをいれる
to give it your all
put in your whole body
身を切られる思い
みをきられるおもい
heartrending
a thought that cuts your body
身を削る
みをけずる
to work yourself sick
whittle away your body with work
身を粉にする
みをこにする
to work hard without complaint
work your body into powder
身を立てる
みをたてる
to make something of yourself; to make it on your own
raise up your body
胸が痛む
むねがいたむ
to feel great sympathy
chest in pain
胸が一杯になる
むねがいっぱいになる
to be overcome with emotion
chest like a cupful of joy or sadness
胸が躍る
むねがおどる
excited; psyched up
chest dancing with joy or in anticipation
胸が騒ぐ
むねがさわぐ
to feel uneasy
chest disturbing you with feeling something bad is going to happen
胸がすく
むねがすく
to be relaxed, worry-free
chest clear of worry
胸が詰まる
むねがつまる
to feel uneasy
chest stuffed with sadness or worry
胸に刻む
むねにきざむ
to take something to heart
engrave on your chest
胸を痛める
むねをいためる
to cause someone emotional distress
cause pain in another's chest
胸を打つ
むねをうつ
to touch someone's heart
strike someone's chest
胸を借りる
むねをかりる
to train with a superior
in sumo, to borrow someone's chest is to have the honor of training with them
胸を撫で下ろす
むねをなでおろす
to let out a sigh of relief
rub down your chest and let go of worries
胸を膨らませる
むねをふくらませる
to be wide-eyed and full of hope
inflate your chest with hope or joy
目から鱗が落ちる
めからうろこがおちる
to have the scales fall from your eyes
to have the scales fall from your eyes
目から鼻へ抜ける
めからはなへぬける
sharp as a tack
from a story where a craftsman enters the eye of a Buddha statue to affix the eye from inside. since he’s trapped he has the brilliant idea to escape through the nose of the statue.
目から火が出る
めからひがでる
to see stars
sparks coming out of your eyes
目が利く
めがきく
to be discerning
effective eyes
目が肥える
めがこえる
to be discerning
eyes grown fat with experience and knowledge
目頭が熱くなる
めがしらがあつくなる
to tear up with emotion
eyes and head warm with emotion
目が高い
めがたかい
to be highly discerning
so learned, it's as if your eyes are surveying from high above
目が無い
めがない
① to have no eye for something; ② to lose objectivity
① have no eye for something; ② no eye for, or blind to, reality
目が回る
めがまわる
to be extremely busy
so busy your eyes are spinning
目くじらを立てる
めくじらをたてる
to needlessly nitpick
raise up the speck in the corner of someone's eye for all to see
目糞鼻糞を笑う
めくそはなくそをわらう
the pot calling the kettle black
eye crud laughing at snot
目と鼻の先
めとはなのさき
extremely close together
as close as the space before your eye and nose
目に余る
めにあまる
to be unforgivable, unable to be overlooked
too much for your eyes to handle
目に物見せる
めにものみせる
to teach someone a lesson; to show someone what's what
show something before someone's eyes
目の色を変える
めのいろをかえる
to put on your game face
change the color of your eyes to indicate seriousness or anger
目の上の瘤
めのうえのこぶ
a thorn in your side; a pain in the butt
a person whose existence is like a lump above your eye
目の黒いうち
めのくろいうち
while you still live; while you still draw breath
while your eyes are still black (grey/white pupils indicate death)
目の毒
めのどく
something you really don't need to see right now
poison for the eyes because it will trigger craving/desire or cause discomfort
目も当てられない
めもあてられない
a sight that is too much to bear
so horrible, eyes can't hold witness to it
目もくれない
めもくれない
to completely ignore
not give an eye (attention) to something
目を疑う
めをうたがう
to not be able to believe your own eyes
doubt your eyes
目を奪われる
めをうばわれる
to be captivated
have your sight stolen and held captive by something
目を覆う
めをおおう
to cover your eyes
cover your eyes in fear
目を掛ける
めをかける
to show favoritism
place eyes upon, watch over someone
目を配る
めをくばる
to keep an eye on
distribute your gaze around the area
目を皿のようにする
めをさらのようにする
to widen one’s eyes in shock
make your eyes like plates
目を白黒させる
めをしろくろさせる
to be shocked and flustered
eyes darting so fast they look white and black
目を付ける
めをつける
to fix your gaze upon something
attach your eyes
目を盗む
めをぬすむ
to do something in secret
steal someone's eyes, act outside their vision
目を光らせる
めをひからせる
to keep careful watch
shine your gaze upon someone/something
目を引く
めをひく
to draw attention; to create a distraction
pull someone's gaze
目を細める
めをほそめる
to smile warmly
smile so that your eyes narrow
目を丸くする
めをまるくする
to open your eyes wide in shock
make your eyes round
目を見張る
めをみはる
to be impressed or moved emotionally
eyes open wide in pleasant surprise
目を剥く
めをむく
to have eyes wide in shock or anger
eyes peeled wide open
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indigostudies · 11 months
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What are those apps you usually post in your productivity updates?
hi! here's a breakdown of apps i use, as well as websites and other resources i've used/use for my learning (mainly chinese, though some of these resources can be used for other languages as well).
apps i use every day:
dot languages: this is a chinese-specific app where you select your hsk level, and then read articles at that level. there's a pop-up dictionary, an option to show pinyin, post-article vocab practice (audio, matching, translation, and writing), and the option to have your articles either in simplified or traditional.
TOFU learn: a blend between flashcards and writing, you can find decks for various things, including hsk level-specific decks, and you learn new vocab with the stroke order and then write each new term three times—once with an overlay (so the term is visible), and then two times from memory. there's also a review function, which helps you practice terms you've already learnt, and each term has audio that goes with it. i use it for chinese, but there's decks for esperanto, french, german, italian, japanese, korean, norweigian, portuguese, russian, spanish, swedish, and turkish.
the pleco dictionary app: my favourite chinese dictionary app; allows you to translate from english to chinese or chinese to english, has options for writing, radical, vocal, and keyboard entry, and has both traditional and simplified characters.
ankiapp: this one's not particularly complicated; it's a flashcard app, where you can make your own decks or download decks other people have made. it uses a spaced repetition system to help you remember terms—you rate yourself from worst to best on how well you remembered the term, and that determines how many times it'll pop up afterwards. it also gives you an overall grade for each deck, which is a nice way to measure your progress.
duolingo: probably my least favourite of all of the apps i use; the chinese course isn't the best, and now that they've removed the notes/grammar information option, there's no way for people who aren't already fairly familiar with the language and its inner workings to learn them if they exclusively use duolingo. it's okay for maintenance practice, though, but i'm already almost finished with the entire course and i would say it barely reaches to lower hsk 4, so i wouldn't say it's a good tool if you're more advanced.
apps i have but use less often:
readibu: this is sort of like dot in that it's an app for reading in chinese with a pop-up dictionary. however, that's where the similarities end; readibu has novels, short stories, and articles aimed at children, and each of those are further split into genres. readibu also lets you add your own web-pages and read them on the app, so you can use its pop-up dictionary with them. it's aimed more to intermediate and upper intermediate learners, with hsk levels ranging from hsk 4 to hsk 6. the only reason i rate dot above readibu is because dot has a larger range of levels (hsk 1 through hsk 6 i believe? but it may go higher) and exercises built in to help you learn the vocab.
the chairman's bao: also a chinese reading app, though if you use the free version, you only get one sample article per hsk level (hsk 1 - hsk 6). i believe that every so often you get a new sample article for each level, but i'm not sure what the interval on that is. it also has a pop-up dictionary and a flashcard option for saved vocab.
du chinese: another chinese reading app; it has articles divided into newbie through master (six levels in total, though they don't line up perfectly with the hsk in my experience), and new articles are free for a certain period of time before becoming locked behind a paywall. there's a pop-up dictionary and a vocab review/test option for vocab you save.
memrise: flashcards with audio, depending on whether you're using an official course or a user-generated deck. decent, but it can get repetitive.
hellotalk: not exclusively chinese, but i believe it started off mainly aimed that way. you set your language, and then your target language, and then you can talk to native speakers who have your language as their target language. potentially incredibly useful, but if you're like me and extremely introverted you may have a hard time using this app, since it requires a lot of one-on-one interaction.
slowly: i haven't actually gotten around to using this, but it's sort of like a digital penpal app, as i understand it. you can learn more about it here.
websites and other miscellanea:
this massive mega drive by @salvadorbonaparte (languages, linguistics, translation studies, and more).
this masterpost by @loveletter2you (linguistics, languages, and language learning books/textbooks).
this masterpost on chinese minority literature by @zaobitouguang
the integrated chinese textbooks by cheng and tsui, which are the textbooks i use for self-study—there's textbooks and workbooks, as well as character workbooks (though these can easily be cut out without suffering from the loss).
mandarinbean: graded readers, hsk 1 - hsk 6, with a pop-up dictionary and the option to read in traditional or simplified
chinese reading practice: reading, beginner through advanced (three levels), with a pop-up dictionary and some additional notes included on vocab and language-specific things non-native speakers might struggle with or not know.
hsk reading: graded readers, hsk 1 - hsk 6, divided into three sections (beginner, intermediate, advanced). does not have a pop-up dictionary, but does have an option to translate the text, post-reading quizzes, and notes on important vocab with example sentences.
my chinese reading: reading from beginner to advanced (four levels); has a pop-up dictionary, the option to play an audio recording of the passage you're reading, notes on key words, things that are difficult to translate, grammar, and post-reading comprehension questions.
the heavenly path notion website, which i would say is one of the best resources i've ever found, with a massive number of guides, lists of chinese media in a variety of forms, and general resources.
chinese character stroke order dictionary: what it says on the tin; will show you the stroke order for a given character.
hanzigrids: allows you to generate your own character worksheets. i use this very frequently, and can recommend it. the only downside is if you want to create multiple pages at once, you have to pay; however this can easily be circumnavigated by creating only one sheet at a time. you can download the sheet as a pdf and print it out for personal use.
21st century chinese poety: a resource i only came across recently; has a massive collection of contemporary chinese poetry, including translations; much more approachable than classical poetry, which can often be incredibly dense and hard to parse due to the writing style.
zhongwen pop-up dictionary: if you're reading something in chinese on a website that doesn't have a pop-up dictionary, this is a must. i've never encountered any words that it doesn't have a translation for so far, including colloquialisms/slang. i use it to read webnovels, and it's been a fantastic tool. you can also save vocab by hitting the r key when you're hovering over a word/phrase, making it easy to go back and add terms to your flashcard deck(s).
chinese reading world: a website put together by the university of iowa; split into three levels (beginner, intermediate, and advanced), with thirty units per level, and ten modules per unit, as well as multiple proficiency tests per level. each module is split into three parts: a pre-reading vocab quiz, the reading with a number of comprehension questions based on it, and a post-vocab reading quiz. it also rates you in relation to someone with a native proficiency based on how quickly you read and answer the comprehension questions, and how many vocab questions you get right.
jiaoyu baike: an extensive chinese-to-chinese dictionary, put out by the taiwanese ministry of education. you can find an extensive write-up on it here, by @linghxr.
social media etc: see this post by @rongzhi.
qianpian: another chinese-to-chinese dictionary; @ruhua-langblr has a write-up on it here.
this writeup on zero to hero by @meichenxi; initially aimed at chinese learning, but now has expanded greatly.
music rec's: this masterpost by @linghxr.
tv/film: youtube is a great place to find chinese tv shows and films, and they often have english subtitles. if you can't find something on there, though, you can probably find it either on iqiyi or asianvote, which have both chinese and other asian shows and films (though you'll want an adblock if you're going to use the latter). i use these a lot to watch things, and have discovered a lot of media through these, and then novels through those when i went searching to see what they were adapted from.
polylogger: a website for logging the amount of time/type of language study you do. has a wide variety of languages, and the option to follow other people. still, it's a fairly basic site.
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aprilclementine · 1 year
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part 2 of history teacher steve and art teacher eddie.
part 1 / part 3
When Steve made his way back to his room, Mr.Munson was waiting, propped up against the door, until he noticed Steve bounding down the hallway. "Sorry, I didn't mean to keep you waiting, Mr.Munson."
"Eddie, call me Eddie." Eddie smiled, and Steve fumbled with his keys, because why were his hands suddenly clammy?
"Eddie." Steve repeated, finally getting his classroom door open. "You can call me, Steve."
"Where do you run off to for lunch? I came over here after my fourth period, hoping we could've grabbed lunch together too." Eddie questioned, as he moved through Steve's room, observing the work on the walls.
Steve willed the heat creeping up his face away, as he took a seat at one of the desks in the middle of the room, map of the school in hand. "I normally have lunch in the band room, with the music teacher, Ms.Buckley."
Eddie paused, looking at Steve over his shoulder. "Oh? Is Ms.Buckley your.."
Steve snorted, shaking his head. "She's just my roommate, and her chairs are more comfortable than the staff lounge."
Eddies shoulder dropped slightly, and he turned on his heel to sit in front of Steve now. Eddie propped his elbows on the table, scanning Steves face with a mischevious grin. "Noted, if I ever need an embarassing story on you for blackmail, I shall call Ms.Buckley."
Steve feigned hurt, placing his hand on his chest. "What would you ever need to blackmail me for?"
"I'm not sure yet, but I've got my eye on you, golden boy." Eddie grimaced playfully, raising two fingers at eye level, before moving them in Steve’s direction.
Steve shook his head, and rolled his eyes at the nickname. "Whatever you say, Munson. Now, do you want the rundown of this place or not?"
"Oh, do tell, Stevie, do tell." Eddie rested his chin on his hands now, leaning closer over the desk.
"Okay, so," Steve started, pushing the paper towards Eddie, watching his eyes move across the paper. "We are here," he marked the paper using his red correcting pen, with a star between his and Eddie's rooms. Eddie nodded, watching Steve's hand move over the paper. "Ms.Buckley, Robin, my roommate, is in this far off corner."
"That room is huge." Eddie commented, looking at the scale of it compared to the others. "Does she just teach marching band? What kind of instruments does she have?"
"Mmm, it's not just marching band, theres percussion, and beginners band where she hosts students from the middle school, she has music theory, and just last year she started a course for students that want to learn how to play guitar. Do you play anything?" Steve questioned.
Eddie nodded proudly, "Sure do, my friends and I started a band when we were in middle school, and played all the way til we graduated."
Steve tilted his head in interest, giving him a smile, "You should show me your skills sometime." Holy shit, why did he say that?
Eddie raised his brows at Steve. "Oh yeah? Are you interested, Harrington?" Holy shit, why did he say it like that?
"I mean- I mean like show me and Robin. Yeah, we would, we would like to see." Steve began, eyes darting back towards the paper, "Hey, did you know the Olympics used to actually award medals for art?" Steve breathed out quickly, trying to steady his heart rate. "From 1912 to 1948, they gave out medals for sculptures, paintings, and music!" Steve continued to ramble, using his hands to emphasize his point. "The art had to be Olympic-themed, of course, and-" Steve stopped himself, feeling the heat evident on his face, under Eddie's amused gaze. "Sorry," Steve cleared his throat before he continued, "across the hall from us is Ms.Wheeler, she teaches English. She's great, very kind, and the students highly respect her."
Eddie nodded along, taking his bottom lip between his teeth to hide his wide grin, following Steve’s finger as it moved along the map, “At the end of this hall is Argyle, and don’t ask me for his last name, since he started he insisted everyone just call him by his first name. He’s the science teacher. Next to his room, is Mr.Byers, he’s the math teacher for our hall.”
Eddie leaned over the paper some more, to try and get a mental image of where each class is, tongue darting between his lips as he tried to concentrate.
Steve picked up on Eddies confusion as he squinted at the map. "C'mon, I have a feeling you’re more of a visual learner." Steve offered, as he stood from his seat. Eddie nodded wordlessly, letting Steve usher him out of his classroom.
-E-
Eddie and Steve walked down the empty hallways, as Steve pointed out a couple classrooms to him. Eddie waited behind Steve, as he knocked on Ms.Wheelers door. Eddie could hear the crisp click-clack of her heels, as she made her way to the door. She opened the door, face relaxing when she seen it was only the two. "How can I help you, Mr.Harrington?"
"I hope we weren't interrupting anything too important, I wanted to introduce you to the new art teacher." Steve stepped aside, so Eddie could step forward and offer his hand to her.
Nancy gave him a warm smile, shaking his hand. "Ms.Wheeler, but you can call me Nancy, well, as long as there's no student around." She added.
"Eddie Munson, and you can call me either, Mr.Munson feels a little too formal to me. Still getting used to it." Eddie said with a scrunch of his nose.
Nancy glanced at Steve, with a teasing smile on her face. "Another Argyle on our hands, I see."
Steve laughed at the comment, so Eddie assumed he should too. "It was nice meeting you, Eddie, I'm usually in the staff lounge for lunch if you ever want to talk." Nancy waved as the two walked away from her room.
"Next, we'll see Mr.Byers." Steve added, as he ushered Eddie down the hall. Steve gave a crisp knock on the door, waiting patiently with his hands behind his back. Mr.Byers opened the door, looking between the two of them. "Hey, what’s up?."
Steve repeated the same speech he gave Nancy, stepping aside to let Eddie step forward and introduce himself. Steve waved to Jonathan, as the two took a left to continue down the hall to Argyle's room. Steve knocked again, waiting for Argyle with a smile. "This guy's smile is so contagious," Steve leaned back to speak to Eddie.
Eddie nodded, and watched as the door opened, Argyle listened deeply to Steve, who motioned towards Eddie. Argyle turned his attention to Eddie now, clasping Eddie's hand between both of his, with a soft shake. "So nice to meet you, man. Come by during lunch some time, and I’ll introduce you to my bearded dragon too." Eddie grinned, holding his gaze, and repeating the same introduction he gave to Nancy and Johnathan.
Argyle brought two fingers up to his head, and gave Eddie and Steve some type of saulte as they left, easy smile still on his face.
Steve continued down the school halls with Eddie, now practically shoulder to shoulder. Eddie had to pretend his entire body wasn't screaming at the contact. Steve is his coworker after all. "We're making our way to the music room now, I'll show you where the staff lounge is on the way over." Steve continued as they made their way through the lunch room together. Steve pointing out their emergency exit route, and where the staff lounge is tucked away at. "If we have time I'll show you my trick on how to unjam the copy machine." Steve leaned into Eddies to whisper. Eddie was so sure Steve could see the obvious color rushing to his cheeks.
Steve held open the door to the staff lounge for Eddie, Eddie walked around the room, observing the decorated bulletin boards. Eddie's eyes gravitated towards a picture of Steve during spirit week, posing in front of his room door, dressed in a navy blue sailor uniform, red neckerchief tied loosely around his neck, red and white striped shirt underneath.
Eddies snort caught Steves attention. Steve moved closer, standing behind Eddie, following his gaze until it landed on the picture of himself. "Oh God, I can't believe they still have this one up." Steve groaned, face flushing.
Eddie laughed at his expense. leaning in closer to the board to really get a good look, trying not to zone in on the way Steves arms looked, as he crossed them over his chest in the picture.
"I lost a bet with Robin my first year, and she made me wear an embarassing old work uniform during spirit week, from a job we had back in college." Steve explained, trying to avoid Eddies gaze. "I bet she's the one that makes sure this photo stays up, at least it’s not the one where she made me wear the hat that goes along with the uniform."
"Why did you still have the uniform?" Eddie teased, scanning the board, trying to find more pictures with Steve in them.
"Believe it or not, it's because the uniform shorts, fit me better than any pair of shorts I've ever owned." Steve joined in on the laughter, face still flushed.
Eddie frowned playfully as he turned back to Steve. "This picture only shows your waist up! I was robbed of the full experience."
“Shut up, Munson.” Steve shoved him softly, smiling before returning his gaze back to the board, and grabbing Eddie's attention as he pointed to another picture. "Naturally, I had to up my game my second year." Eddies gaze stayed on the photo, not sure he could look Steve in the eyes after seeing this one. Steve was dressed as Tom Cruise in the Risky Business movie. The form-fitting black blazer, paired with the Ray-Bans, and his charming smile, Eddie was sure his face was just as red as Steve’s now.
"Get it? I'm Tom Cruise in Risky Business." Steve smiled, as Eddie turned to him. Steve stepped away from Eddie, bringing up his closed fist to his mouth, before he began, "Just take those old records off the shelf," Steve threw his head back dramatically as he sang, before continuing with a soft head bang to enunciate the lyrics. "I sit and listen to them by myself." By this point, Steve had cut himself off with his own laughter.
Eddie had to put his face in his hands to hide his flushed cheeks, as he laughed. "Aw, c'mon it's not that bad of an impression, is it? Robin thinks I kind of look like him? What do you think?" Eddie looked up through his hands, as Steve took off his glasses, and slowly turned his head from side-to-sides.
Eddie bit back his smile, nodding in agreement, he's starting to reconsider how good this job will be for his health, if his heart rate is going to be beating this fast every time Steve’s around.
Steve beamed at him, coming around the table in the middle, and holding the door open for Eddie again. "We'll come back to the printer another day, sorry I got distracted, we gotta get to Robin's class before the bell."
Eddie followed Steve, as they walked down the hall again, Steve explaing that she was teaching her guitar class right now. Steve knocked, waiting patiently, he shot a quick reassuring grin back to Eddie, before the door opened. "Dude, couldn't you wait til the ride home to tell me how it went with-"
Steve was quick to cut the woman off, with a frantic hand, before he stepped to the side, putting Eddie in view. Eddie watched curiously, as the two seemed to have a conversation with their eyes, before the womans gaze landed on him. She held out her hand to Eddie, her stare intense, as she shook his hand. "Robin Buckley, nice to meet you."
"Eddie Munson, I'm the new art teacher." he gave her his warmest smile, out of all the people he met today, he knew this ones approval mattered. "I have a question for you, Buckley."
Robin raised a brow, her face pulling together in confusion. "What is it?"
"I was wondering if you had any more pictures of Steve in that sailor uniform." Eddie asked with a mischevious grin growing across his face. "I'd love to see them."
Robins face softened, as she mirrored his expression. "I actually have one of us on our first day at ol' Scoops Ahoy, right on my desk-"
"Okay, okay, this was such a bad idea. Don't you have a class to teach, Buckley?" Steve cut in, pulling Eddie away by his shoulder, face flushed in embarrassment.
Eddie and Robin laughed at Steve’s expression, Eddie waving to Robin. "We'll continue this conversation another time." Eddie called out to her, as the two continued back to their rooms.
"I have a whole album on my phone worth of embarassing photos of Harrington, call me if you need anything!" Robin shot back, before closing the door.
Steve and Eddie stayed by their room doors talking until the bell rang. "Thanks for the tour, golden boy." Eddie smirked, bumping Steves shoulder. "And, for the serenade, never knew how badly I wanted to be Rebecca De Mornay." Eddie added with a hand over his heart, jokingly.
Steve waved a dismissive hand, bashful smile adorning his face. "Happy to help," Steve continued as he pushed off his door, "the serenade was part of the VIP Tour package."
Eddie laughed softly, fiddling with his classroom keys. "I hope I'm the only one that's been able to afford the VIP Tour package, Harrington."
"Trust me, Munson, it's one of a kind." Steve replied, reaching for his own classroom keys now. "One of a kind, much like your teaching style."
"Hey, getting on tables really gets their attention, you should try it sometime, Harrington." Eddie defended, as Steve stepped fully into his classroom, and Eddie could still hear his laugh.
-S-
Steve waited patiently outside Robins door after school, twirling his car keys. Robin came out shortly after, bounding down the halls with Steve in tow. The two made it to Steve’s car, Robin ranting about her new students, and just buzzing with excitement about the new year ahead. "Alright, Steve-o, spill."
Steve rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "He seen the Scoops picture, so he mustve seen the Tom Cruise picture too, right?" Robin inquired. Steve nodded slowly, knowing her next question already.
"Steve, please tell me you didn't do Risky Business." Robin pleaded, eyes wide with anticipation, as she awaited Steve’s answer. Steve let his head rest against the steering wheel. Whispering his reply so quietly Robin couldn't pick up on it. "I can't hear you, Stevie."
Steve blew out an exasperated breath he had been holding in. "I did Risky Business."
"Steve, oh my god." Robin burst with a load laugh, swatting at the air, as Steve grumbled about how it 'always worked in college'.
***
ahhhhhh sorry it took so long, i have part three ready to go later tonight, or tomorrow afternoon. anyways, there's about thirty pages of this fic so far sitting on my laptop, and i'm working on getting it to ao3 but this is my first time ever participating in like fandom things? so its taking me a little longer to get used to consistent posts, and responding to comments and tags. BUT!!! i love seeing your thoughts and tags and comments they all mean so much thank u thank u thakn u <333 -i'll fix any errors int he morning-
(also i hoped i tagged everyone that wanted to be tagged, i never mind doing tags :D )
taglist: @little-gae-shit @ineffablecolors @menace-behaviour @hardboiledleggs @toobluebrunette @bye-zai @panicatthediaz @munsonsduchess @thing-a-ling @swimmingbirdrunningrock @jestyzesty @cutepumpkin4 @flustratedcas @teelagurl558 @electrick-marionnett @beckkthewreck @alienace @shinekocreator @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @bidisastersworld @gay-little-bitch @booksandsience @korixae @afewproblems @henderdads @mightbeasleep @winterbuckwild @yournowheregirl @steveisabicon @milf-harrington
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notfreetoday · 8 months
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MPW: Segasaki & Yoh - Language Analysis Part 1
Subtitle Corrections: EP 1 || EP 2 || EP 3
My Personal Weatherman is a story about the relationship between Segasaki and Yoh, so rather than being introduced to the characters, we the audience are dropped right into the middle of their relationship, and the only way we learn about the characters as individuals is through the way they interact with each other, and how that contrasts with how they interact with the people around them.
The show does an incredible job of keeping the portrayal of their relationship consistent across the use of character design, wardrobe, lighting, cinematography, acting choice, directorial choices and of course language use. But not everyone who watches has equal access to that last one, so I try to be as detailed as possible in my subtitle corrections posts. I'm also a bit of a language nerd. Now, I want to get into their actual relationship, because I think there is a lot of information about how they feel towards each other that's just getting missed. Also I love them and this is how I spazz.
This post is the first of four in which I hope to show how the dynamic between Segasaki and Yoh is reflected in the way they speak - specifically, in the way they address each other, and the style shifting, or speech level shifts that they both demonstrate with each other, using scenes from Ep 1 - 3. I'll be using my own translations for this, some of which differ from the Eng subs. (Please bear with the nerdiness - I don't want to assume how much people know about Japanese)
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Prefacing this by saying that this language analysis is made specifically in the context of Segasaki and Yoh's relationship. There is a power imbalance here both in terms of social hierarchy (senpai/kouhai, age gap, successful/non-successful) as well as self-image (self-confident/self-conscious). Now, most of the time we see this manifested linguistically as the party with more social power using casual language forms, whilst the one with less power remains polite or formal. However, there is much more to human interaction than that, as we see in MPW where both Segasaki and Yoh shift in and out of Speech Styles often, depending on what they want to say and accomplish, as well as their emotional state.
1) Quick & Dirty Guide To Speech Styles/Formality Levels
Formality/Politeness is a spectrum and is expressed mostly through grammar and tone (sorry for the shitty word doc screencap):
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1) desu/masu = formal/polite. Standard go to with the anyone you meet. 2) Generally speaking, the longer the sentence/the more syllables you hear, the more polite the sentence 3) The less direct you can be, the more polite you will sound 4) Word contractions (tsuzukereba -> tsuzukerya) = informal + impolite (but not always rude) 5) Slurred end vowels (iranai -> iranee) = informal + mostly rude, but not always (you just sound uncouth) 6) Most words have "formal", "informal" or even "rude" variations 7) CONTEXT DETERMINES EVERYTHING Btw when I say "speaks roughly" or uses "rough speech", I mostly mean (4) + (5)
2) Speech Styles and Shifting Between Them
tl;dr Japanese Speech Styles function like the verbal equivalent of personal space - the more formal/polite the level, the bigger the circle of personal space you maintain. Shifts in speech styles indicate: 1) perceived changes in vertical and/or horizontal distance 2) the assumption of a position/role of the speaker in relation to the listener 3) changes in emotional state/the desire to convey emotion 4) the consideration of "polite company" In this post we will look at examples of the first one - Vertical and Horizontal Distance.
Speech Styles: The Long Version (English Speaker POV)
Consider the way you speak if you were to say, give an important presentation in front of potential clients, versus the way you'd speak to an acquaintance you ran into on the street vs the way you'd speak to your closest friends. Different situations call for different ways of speaking - you're more likely to speak in full sentences and pronounce your words clearly for the first situation, and say "yes" instead of "yep" or "uh huh". You're also more likely to be blunt/direct with your friends than you are with clients - "You know ILU but do not under any circumstances buy that ugly ass shirt".
These context-dependent changes in speech patterns are similar to the changes in speech styles/formality levels in Japanese. Think of speech styles as the verbal equivalent of personal space. The more formal/polite the level, the bigger the circle of personal space you maintain. Dropping a level when you shouldn't is the verbal equivalent of invading someone's personal space and can make people uncomfortable and sometimes even angry. In Japan, the baseline "distance" with the average person is the way you would speak as if you were giving a presentation. Dropping to casual/informal speech might be tolerated (just like how you can tolerate someone sitting close to you and asking some questions, but it's uncomfortable), especially if you guys are around the same age, but dropping to "what's up bitcheees" when you should be at "hey how're you doing" basically tells the other person "I don't have even the basic level of respect for you".
In the same vein, the closer you are to someone, the more welcome you are in their personal space, and thus the lower the level of formality/politeness you'll keep with them. You trust that even if you speak bluntly, they'll understand you aren't trying to insult them. When and to what extent you drop a level is usually negotiated between individuals (either directly or indirectly). Once a level of casualness is established, your friends are going to look at you funny if you suddenly get all formal with them. They might even come ask if anything's wrong, or if you're angry at them or why you sound "cold". These shifts in speech levels therefore mark more than just the vertical distance between two people (ie, differences in social hierachy), they mark the horizontal distance (ie, how close people of the same "in-group" are to each other) too.
Having said that, there are times when you will shift to a more formal tone even with your friends or family - for example, when you're hosting a game at a large party and want to explain the game rules to everyone, you might enunciate your words better or keep the jokes to the minimum in order to convey the information is clearly and efficiently as possible. Similarly, if you've been appointed the leader in a group project and need people to pay attention and listen, you might change your tone of voice to command attention. In other words, when you assume a particular position, the way you speak changes too.
Finally, the way you speak to your friends/family in the presence of others (or "polite company", as they used to say) might also change - you might have no qualms cursing up a storm with your best buddy at the bar, but you might do your best to avoid being too vulgar when you're in front of their parents or your boss/university professor.
3) Segasaki and Yoh: Vertical & Horizontal Distance
Segasaki and Yoh are part of the same "in-group" in that they are in a relationship, so the horizontal distance between them is very small and before sunny days it's a negative distance - this is shown in how both Segasaki and Yoh use informal speech with each other (they generally omit the desu/masu forms aka use plain forms, and both use the informal pronoun "俺/ore" for "I" with each other).
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That said, there is also a hierarchy within that relationship (though their individual perceptions of that vertical distance differs) which stems not only from the nature of their living agreement, but also is likely to have carried over from their university days, when they shared a senior/junior relationship. Thus, generally speaking, Segasaki speaks quite roughly with Yoh whilst Yoh tends to use polite forms more often. Keep in mind however, that Japanese is a gendered language, and "rough speech" tends to be seen as a masculine speech pattern and can sometimes be normal between close male friends/family (otherwise, it is the verbal equivalent of getting up in someone's face and pushing them). The key here is that Yoh sticks to an informal, but more polite level than Segasaki does, and it is that difference that shows the power differential.
Horizontal Distance aka "We're Very Close"
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Despite Yoh's very valid complaint that Segasaki takes "man-of-few-words" to the next level (itself a liberty you'd only take with someone close to you), Segasaki only drops to rude forms in Ep 1 once:
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晩飯いらねぇ(banmeshi iranee) - slurred vowel [literally - "dinner, not needed"] Banmeshi is a more informal way of saying dinner (normal = yuu gohan). Despite the slurred vowel, this sentence is not dismissive nor rude - it's what you'd expect between close friends/family.
In Ep 2 we hear Segasaki speak a lot more roughly to Yoh, as below, and of course during the almost-argument. But though his words are rough his intonation is often soft and he's quite tender with his touch. So, we can see that Segasaki isn't being disrespectful per se - he's not speaking roughly because he sees Yoh as beneath him in the social hierarchy - rather, he's demonstrating intimacy, familiarity and possessiveness, all at once. In fact, the more possessive he feels of Yoh, the more he drops his levels. As mentioned earlier, you only do this with people in your "in-group", with whom you know will understand you aren't insulting them.
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遅くなるからいらねぇっつっただろう (osokunaru kara iranee ttsutta darou) - slurred vowel, word contraction, informal end particle [I told you I wouldn't need it cause I'd be late right?] Though somewhat in keeping with Segaski's curtness, this is still a pretty harsh sounding line - but note how Yoh doesn't seem offended or intimidated in the slightest - he understands that Segasaki is tired after a long day, and in return Segasaki softens his tone when he next asks "What did you make?"
Vertical Distance
It's easy to focus on Segasaki's use of rough, assertive langauge as an indicator of vertical distance, and I pointed out quite a few scenes in Ep 3 where he ends off what is essentially an order with assertive sentence-final particles. But focusing on this alone gives the mistaken impression that relationships with vertical distance go one way only - down - when in fact they are bidirectional. There is a mutual dependency between both parties, as we see clearly in MPW. Linguistically, this is portrayed through Yoh's choices to shift up a speech level.
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Just like how Segasaki is introduced to the audience through his proposal direct, informal and very forceful speech style, the first interaction we see Yoh have with Segasaki is a proper, standard greeting:
おかえりなさい (okaerinasai) [Welcome back] Okaerinasai is the full, proper way to say this, but a more casual and common way to say this would simply be "okaeri". See Ep 3 for discussion on standard greetings.
When Yoh thinks about Segasaki in his head, he often uses rough speech the same way Segasaki does, including the rude pronouns "aitsu/koitsu (that guy/this guy)", and yet when he speaks directly to Segasaki, he maintains an informal but still polite/neutral speech style. He rarely shifts down to rude forms, barely coming close even when drunk and emotional, but he does often switch up to a more polite level. In the above example, Yoh uses the full standard greeting in response to Segasaki's unspoken request:
俺、帰ってるんだけど (ore, kaetterun dakedo) [I've already come back, you know] Ending with "dakedo" implies that speaker is going to follow up with something, usually a request or a question. In Japanese, this request/question is often left out, because the context given prior to "dakedo" is usually enough for the listener to fill in the gaps themselves. In this case, Segasaki might want a greeting or dinner, but at the very least, it's clear he wants Yoh's attention.
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We know the standard greeting earlier was a style shift upwards because later in the episode, when Yoh says good night, he uses the casual version "oyasumi" instead of the full "oyasuminasai".
Even outside of standard phrases, Yoh's baseline is informal but not rude:
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あ、いま準備する (Ah, ima junbi suru) - plain form [Ah, I'll prepare it now]
Probably the most telling is in Ep 3, when he's caught off guard whilst folding laundry.
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あ、なに? (Ah, nani?) - plain form [Oh! What?] He answers Segasaki naturally, with just a word, as opposed to a proper “Hai/Yes?”, which he’s done sometimes when he’s unsure of himself, or if he's addressed directly.
So, we've established that Yoh’s baseline with Segasaki is informal but not rude - he feels comfortable enough with Segasaki to default to casual speech, but he acknowledges the power differential between them by simultaneously accepting Segasaki's rough speech as well as not dropping to it himself. This also tells us that the shifts up to formal/polite speech are deliberate and mean something. In EP 2, the shift demonstrated his insecurity surrounding his jealousy and their lack of physical affection, whereas in EP 3, he does it as a way to convey his gratitude.
In the next part, we'll look at how both Segasaki and Yoh use speech style shifts to convey emotion as well as to assume a particular position. Hope you enjoyed this!
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nateconnolly · 5 months
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Hozier Reading List of Free Texts You Can Finish in Less Than A Week
Another Hozier reading list is floating around the Internet, and it’s very thorough. Huge respect to @notmysophie for putting that together, they put in a lot of effort and research and it really shows. This is an alternative reading list for people who are too busy or tired to read all the entries on a complete list of Hozier’s literary influences. This list is incomplete—even after finishing it, there will be some very prominent literary references in Hozier’s music that might go over your head. But this will definitely help you appreciate the depth of thought in his songs, and if you read just five pages a night, you’ll be able to finish this reading list in less than one week. 
ONE: ICARUS
Hozier puts the myth of Icarus to song in I, Carrion. You could very easily argue that Sunlight is also a response to Icarus. Many classical writers have told or mentioned his story, but I’ll let my own personal tastes shape this list, and recommend Ovid’s Metamorphoses. He tells the story of Icarus in Chapter 8 Lines 183–235. If you can afford it, I love the Charles Martin translation. You could consult the free Brookes More translation, or the one by A. S. Kline. Remember, you don't have to read the whole chapter--just find the part named "Daedalus and Icarus"
TWO: DOOMSDAY CLOCK
The title track Wasteland, Baby! is such a gentle love ballad, I almost have trouble remembering it’s about the apocalypse. Wasteland, Baby! finds hope and love in the face of annihilation. Hozier wrote this song as a direct response to the Doomsday Clock moving two minutes in 2018, one year before the album was released. 
THREE: GENESIS 1-3
I also recommend reading Genesis Chapters 1-3. You’re probably familiar with the plot, but I think From Eden is such an ingenious twist on the familiar story that you’ll appreciate it even more after consulting the original. Hozier takes the symbols of Genesis 1-3 and uses them to make his own radically different point. The stories of Eden also come up in Be. 
My favorite translation is by Robert Alter, but it’s currently not free online, so you might want to check out the Sefaria translation or the New King James Version (NKJV), both of which manage to capture the beauty of Genesis without becoming difficult for the average English reader. The King James Version (KJV) is also roughly the same level of difficulty as a Shakespeare play. I definitely think the KJV is beautiful, but at the end of a long hard day, you might be better off with the Sefaria, the NKJV, the NIV, or the NRSV. You can Google “Genesis 1” followed by any of those names/abbreviations, and you’ll find it right away. 
FOUR: A MODEST PROPOSAL
Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal, written in 1729, might be the most gutting satire in history. UCLA students put together a very thorough explanation of the economic suffering and the proposed “solutions” that inspired Swift. References to A Modest Proposal form the skeleton of Hozier’s Eat Your Young. 
FIVE: SEAMUS HEANEY
Before learning about Seamus Heaney, you’ll need some background information on the Troubles. I recommend this National Geographic article. I also recommend looking through these Chris Steele Perkins photographs of life during the Troubles.
During the Troubles, Heaney wrote a series of poems about bog bodies. His poetry directly inspired the corpse imagery in Work Song, Like Real People Do, and In a Week. 
Disclaimer: I cannot read Hebrew or Latin. I am evaluating these translations solely by 1) how difficult they are to read and 2) how beautiful they sound. I cannot independently review them for accuracy. Just know that all the translations I’ve listed are widely respected among academics and/or religious leaders.
Anyways if you liked reading this go check out my Substack where I originally posted it. 
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February roundup - Russian
Years ago, I started learning Russian. I bought novels in Russian and a textbook. But this textbook wasn't really beginner-friendly. In every new lesson, the dialogue contained many new words but only few words from the previous lessons. The author probably wanted the learner to study the whole vocabulary list before going on but I didn't like this approach. After only a few lessons I felt too overwhelmed and decided to focus on Japanese instead.
On February 13th, I tried it again and now I'm much more optimistic. I gained more experience as a language learner through Japanese and can use that now with Russian. Plus, I discovered the Refold Russian server on discord which is a very helpful place for finding resources and guidance.
I want to reach a point at where I can understand the novels in Russian that are waiting on my shelf.
In this post I want to share what I did so far, which resources I used and my thoughts. I think I'll post one update every month.
(YouTube) Comprehensible Russian: Zero Beginner (watched: 38 of 75 videos)
Easy to understand even for absolute beginners. The first 10 or 15 videos are very easy with lots of repetition. After around 15 videos the complexity slowly increases. 
Assimil (Lesson 1 - 10)
Compared to the textbook I used years ago, Assimil introduces the language in a much more beginner-friendly manner. I like it so far.
(Anki) Russian starter deck (this one)
This deck was recommended in the Refold Russian server on discord. It starts with simple sentences and contains lots of explanations. I did 10 new cards per day.
Short Stories in Russian for Beginners by Olly Richards (Story 1 - Story 3)
I looked up many words, but the stories are not too complicated. They introduce many common words and repeat them regularly in their stories, which helps to get used to them. I tried to listen to the audio book while reading but it’s too fast at my current level, so I focused on reading for now.
This book is aimed at beginners but I think it's difficult for complete beginners like me. Ideally, you are already familiar with basic vocabulary before reading this book. Otherwise, you have to look up almost every word (like me). However, after reading two stories, I noticed that recognizing and understanding words became a bit easier (in the beginning, all new words looked somewhat the same). It's hard if you start almost from zero like me, but it's possible and you'll make progress.
(YouTube) Different Let's Plays
I watched a few videos of Russian native speakers who are playing games I'm interested in. Like Animal Crossing or Метро: Исход. They are too difficult for now, but they are also motivating and make me want to keep going. 
(YouTube) Easy Russian
Too difficult for now, but I really like their videos. They have subtitles in Russian and English, their topics are interesting and the people from Easy Russian do a great job.
(YouTube) Russian with Max
It’s too difficult at the moment but I like his vlog videos so far. He visits many different places and explains a lot and there are subtitles which is great. I started to look up words from one video. 
(YouTube) Video about pronunciation from RussianPod 101 (this one)
I liked this video. It's well-structured and not too fast so that you can comfortably follow along.
...
These are the things I did in Russian in February! I feel like I already learned much more than during my previous attempt, but I'm still at the very beginning of course. I'll post another update at the end of the month.
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sylvan-librarian · 9 months
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Nissa's Pilgrimage Part I: Worldwaker
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Preface: 
Hi there! My name is Steven; I recently wrapped up a master’s degree in library science and am doing my best to segue careers. Since my terminally long job hunt has left me with more down time than I ever wanted to have, I decided to put my English degree to good(?🤷) use by writing a bunch of personal essays on Magic the Gathering, as it is a topic I have been obsessed with for around a decade now. I didn’t intend to share these ramblings at first, and I began this whole project for my own edification, to keep my brain active, and to prevent myself going insane from boredom. However, I thought it couldn’t hurt to throw these online and see what comes of it.
This particular piece is part 1 of ???. I have a lot of notes in my drafts and even more thoughts in my head, so it may just go on indefinitely until someone (finally) gives me a dang job.
TLDR: I’m a deranged MTG Vorthos and former English major with a lot of thoughts and even more time on my hands, so I began a handful of English major-y essays on my pet topics. I’m posting them here for now.
Introduction:
Almost every Magic player who began learning the game after the planeswalker card type was introduced in the Lorwyn expansion in October, 2007 can tell you a story about the first planeswalker card they fell in love with. It might have been because the mechanics on the card melded perfectly with their preferred strategy of play, it might have been because they kept up with the story and were invested in the represented character’s journey, or it might have simply been because they thought the art looked cool.
For whatever reason under Mirrodin’s five suns a Magic player first became attached to a planeswalker and their cards, the character often become symbolic for our love of the game itself. These symbols grow beyond simple loyalty abilities on a piece of cardboard and become inexorably intertwined with our own personal Magic experience.
For me, this planeswalker was Nissa Revane.
You see, in March of 2014, I started working at The Game Closet in Waco, Texas. I had just finished getting a master’s degree in English, so of course, my first job out in the real world was to become a clerk at my local game store (really putting my humanities education to work). Having grown up in a small Louisiana town, I never had a chance to play Magic. I entered the tabletop gaming world through my obsession with Dungeons & Dragons, Shadowrun, and sundry other RPG’s. 
Nevertheless, as Magic players made up the majority of the store’s customer base, I took it upon myself to learn the game. The Theros block was wrapping up at the time with its third set, Journey into Nyx, and a bunch of friendly players were more than happy to unload all of their bulk commons and uncommons to me (Journey into Nyx was famously underpowered, after all), so I tried to make a standard deck out of all this draft chaff and run it at Friday Night Magic. 
It didn’t go too well.
However, I was happy with the overall direction of the deck, and I immediately discovered that I loved green decks, specifically green ramp strategies.
I was enthralled with the idea of accelerating mana so that you can play flashy, intimidating creatures and cool, game warping spells far earlier than you have any right to, so I continued to tweak the deck until I made a functioning version of the Theros Standard Mono Green Devotion deck. Even though I wasn’t good enough at the game in my early days to consistently win (even at the local level), I had a lot of fun with it! It was fast and explosive, but for some reason, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was missing something.
However, not a few months later, the Magic 2015 Core Set gets released, and the chase mythic rare in the set’s early days was exactly the kind of card I was looking for: Nissa, Worldwaker. I had no idea who this Nissa character was supposed to be — though I did think the art looked pretty cool — but I was in awe of the card’s abilities! It was precisely the kind of fuel I felt my standard deck needed at the time, and it turns out I was right! My Magic the Gathering “competitive” “career” begins and ends with a handful of first place rankings at my local game store’s standard FNM events, but as small a victory as those are, nearly all of these top rankings were due to Nissa, Worldwaker. 
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Needless to say, I became devoted to the character overnight.
Exploration:
But who is Nissa, really? Let’s start with the basics. Nissa is an elf planeswalker from the plane of Zendikar, a largely untamed wilderness where the land itself has a will of its own, causing unforeseeable (un)natural disasters called “the roil” by Zendikari locals. According to the recently-released Magic The Gathering: The Visual Guide by Jay Annelli, Nissa is in her 60s and she is 5 feet, 2 inches tall, making her the smallest of the original four members of the Gatewatch (five if you count Liliana). Nissa has a mystical connection to the land and can sense a plane’s leylines, giving her a measure of control over the ground she walks on; this allows her to animate the very land itself to fight her enemies, a narrative element that has been expressed mechanically time and time again on Nissa’s cards throughout the years. 
Ostracized from the elven clan she was born in, the Joraga, for the crime of having this connection to the land (a rare brand of sorcery called “animism” in the lore of Magic), Nissa spent large stretches of years alone with only the spirits of the natural world as companions. This has made her socially awkward to a fault, and the issues she has in communicating with her friends (and later, lovers) has been a fairly consistent plot point throughout all of the (canon) story arcs she has played a part in. 
In a fictional universe that contains ageless elder dragons, a man-eating toad, a sentient robot who literally created a planet from scratch, and a wizard who once phased an entire continent out of the time stream, Nissa Revane’s eternal struggle to express simple feelings to people she shares a bond with always seemed to me the most human element in the Magic canon. Additionally (big surprise), that’s something I have in common with her. While other Vorthoses have made the argument that Nissa is on the autism spectrum, that is something I have neither the personal experience with nor the education of to speak about. That is certainly a valid lens to view this character through, however, so if that interests you, I’d encourage you to search up these pieces on your own.
What I can speak on with a certain level of expertise, however, is the personal struggle of being a shy, withdrawn introvert in an extroverted world. As a lifelong wallflower with a vivid imagination and a rich inner world, I can deeply relate to a character who doesn’t know how to put her intense feelings to words. For example, in the final story of the Kaladesh arc, Renewal, Nissa tries to express to her companion Chandra just how deeply she wants to be “friends” with her:
Nissa swallowed past the desert in her throat. "I don't speak often. I lived alone for...decades. Zendikar was my companion. We understood each other at a level deeper than words. I...I don't know how to talk to you. I'm trying to learn." Chandra looked up, eyes wide and startled. "You don't know how to talk to me?" "I will make mistakes," Nissa said. "Pick the wrong words. Misunderstand yours. I'll act strange and won't know that I am. But if you can be patient with me, I would like to be..." Waves of sky-song memory welled upward, symphonies of color and warmth, resonant movement and shared breath. She stilled them, reduced them, and forced out angular words shaped in a pallid shadow of acceptable truth. "...your friend." Chandra's hands leapt out to enfold hers, warm as a bird's nest. "I dunno," she sniffled, one corner of her mouth quivering upward. "I think you're pretty good at picking words." "It took all afternoon to decide how to say this."
While this section of Renewal is a cornerstone of Nissa’s and Chandra’s future romantic relationship, that is a topic big enough to warrant its own essay in order to do it justice. For now, though, let’s focus on this bit: “‘I would like to be…’ Waves of sky-song memory welled upward, symphonies of color and warmth, resonant movement and shared breath. She stilled them, reduced them, and forced out angular words shaped in a pallid shadow of acceptable truth. ‘...your friend.’” Nissa’s never ending struggle to use words grand enough to communicate the intensity of the feelings in her heart has stuck with me since Renewal was posted on Magic’s website in 2017. I doubt I’m the only one, either.
Heroic Intervention
Nissa was already the character I was most invested in back in 2017, but observing her deep well of emotions she didn’t know to express and her entire lifetime's worth of interests and experiences she didn’t know how to talk about helped me, I think, come to terms the previous two-and-a-half decades of my own life that I spent cowering in corners at parties, being as unobtrusive as possible in the lives of my friends and family, and holding myself back because I didn’t think anyone would ever want me around - as a friend, as a lover, or even as a coworker. This section, from later on in Renewal, really gutted me at the time: 
What would she do, if she had the time again? If she didn't flinch at light, noise, and touch, or speak in gestures and movements strange and off-putting to others? How could she tell this new life to laugh and weep without reservation or regret; to sing to the stars and waters, or to nothing at all; to love unreserved and unguarded; to treasure every moment with those beloved; to forgive any regretted trespass; to dance when moved to; to savor long silences in warm company; to greet each dawn, each face with the thought, this will be an adventure; to be brave, and kind, and trusting, and... ...like Chandra. The aetherborn waited, flickering. But why would anyone find her thoughts on the matter of value, anyway? Don't be afraid to follow your heart, Nissa told them. ...Why would that be scary? Halfway across Ghirapur, her body exhaled a laugh into the deepening twilight. May it ever puzzle you.
It wasn’t too long after this story was published that I began my own journey from hiding in the shadows to living my life in a way I was proud of. I moved away with the woman I was dating at the time, and even though that relationship ended up not working out, I spent five long, fun, life-altering years learning to
laugh and weep without reservation or regret; to sing to the stars and waters, or to nothing at all; to love unreserved and unguarded; to treasure every moment with those beloved; to forgive any regretted trespass; to dance when moved to; to savor long silences in warm company; to greet each dawn, each face with the thought, this will be an adventure.
I wonder to this day if the courage Nissa displayed during her own pilgrimage helped nurture in me the courage I needed in my own…
Conclusion
If you made this far, thanks! I’m not sure who, if any, will be interested in these endless ramblings, but if you're here, I hope you found something in it to enjoy!
Further entries in this little series will cover who Nissa is as a character, how she has been treated by various writers in Magic's various seasons, and why that matters (to me at least). The next longform piece I post will go over Nissa’s dual origins, why she was retconned from an incompetent xenophobe into the cinnamon roll with baggage we know today, and what both the Magic Story Team and its fans have made of this shift over the years.
References
Annelli, J. Magic The Gathering The Visual Guide. DK Publishing
Li, M., Digges, K., Luhrs, A., Beyer D., & L'Etoile, C. (2017). Renewal
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formulaorange · 5 months
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2024 Winter Anime
It's here! It's finally here!!! Solo Leveling comes out this season! There's definitely a few others to keep an eye out for but this is the star of the winter season:
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Solo Leveling One of my most anticipated series. I'm caught up on the english light novels (8 volumes) and I'm honestly so invested in this story. In a way it gives the same impact as One Punch Man but if the story progressed a little faster toward fame and growth in his power. Easily the best of the season. Noteworthy On Going Shows: Frieren - Episodes 17-28 One of the most mesmerizing and well paced fantasies I've seen. Also one of my 10/10s of all time. Worth looking into if you remotely like fantasy. Shangri La Frontier - Episodes 14-25 Another fantasy game series that honestly just looks like it's a fun game. Explores a lot of game mechanics within this full-dive VR type game that almost puts SAO to shame. Fun action, fantasy and fun for game lovers. Apothecary Diaries - Episodes 13-24 My current favourite drama/romance/medical mystery series. The characters are simple but the show highlights the different dynamics and almost feels like an enemies to lovers plot. New Seasons:
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Blue Exorcist - Season 3 This is one of the og shows I watched growing up. It's a mythology school themed show that I loved. It's been 13 years since season 1 aired and I'm stoked to see it come back. It's being done by a different studio since A-1 is busy with solo leveling, so I'm not sure if it'll hit the same but I'll still check it out at least for the nostalgia.
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Mashle - Season 2 The funniest anime I've seen in a while. Man muscle brains his way through magic school and the whole show is a meme of harry potter and other magic series. Truly entertaining. Can't wait for this season
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Delicious In Dungeon This is a series I've wanted to pick up the manga for for a while. It's about dealing with food and hunger when these adventurers are deep in a dungeon and learn to start cooking and eating what they can find down there. Funny concept but honestly looks like a lot of fun.
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The Unwanted Undead Adventurer I read this manga and light novel so long ago. (Literal years - link to my manga thoughts and summary). I'm looking forward to the adaptation. I think nowadays this kind of story doesn't catch nearly as much attention as it did a few years ago. An adventurer dies in a dungeon and is reborn as an undead who can evolve as he kills other monsters and he deals with trying to fit in with the human realm again and evolving. I'm still looking forward to it after keeping an ear our for so long!
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Mr. Villain's Day Off I recently heard about this series and thought it was such a cute concept. Us with all our villain complexes with enjoy this one. Will likely be a background show for me as there won't be a huge plot, regardless, still fun to watch. Burn the Witch - #0.8 - 30 min Special I think this won't be as exciting now that Bleach has come back and we aren't as depraved of Tite Kubo's work but I really enjoyed the original short series. Hoping for more of this world in the future. Sequels: Classroom of the Elite - Season 3 Tsukimichi - Season 2 (Link to review of season 1) The Dangers in My Heart - Season 2 More Continuations: Undead Unluck Ragna Crimson After going through 20+ shows every season, many with sub-par animations and the same fantasy twists, I've become real picky about which series are even worth trying to watch these days. Here are the ones that deserve at least 2 episodes in order: A Sign of Affection - Gets a special spot since it's incredibly rare to see disability representation in anime and it looks like it's done quite well- A romance between a guy and a deaf girl. Looks super sweet Bucchigiri?! - I honestly can't say this looks appealing to me personally but I've hear the name before and well it's MAPPA. (Give em a break) 'Tis Time for "Torture," Princess - looks well animated and just a fun watch Metallic Rouge - The sci-fi series for this season. I'm not sure I have it in me to watch something heavy like this this season but it looks decent. The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic The Witch and the Beast - Here for manga readers - lowkey looks like the manga will be much better and this might be a skip for me. Hokkaido Gyaru's are super Adorable (Ecchi) ALSO - Big reminder: Haikyu!! and Demon Slayer have their movies coming out this season as well (both theatrical releases so keep an eye out!!!) Demon Slayer: To the Hashira Training - Feb 2nd 2024 Haikyu!! - The Dumpster Battle - Feb 16th 2024
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jade7b · 4 months
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Gojo|Geto x reader
⚠️This story Is translated from Italian! I apologize if there will be errors, but English is not my language! If you find any errors report it to me as well! I will correct them! ⚠️
Dividing you between Satoru and Suguru wasn’t one of the brightest ideas you could have, and now you’re suffering the consequences.
Poor and helpless reader...
After Suguru's departement, you were deeply hurt, but one day an anonymous message leads you to make bad choices.
If you were blackmailed by one of your best friends, what would you do?
Would you obey indecent demands without blinking?
Ps: The story is a Suguru Geto/Gojo Satoru X reader, but, I decided to call you Izumi.
You have, of course, the freedom to replace the name "Izumi" with yours!
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BETWEEN TWO FIRES
Chapter 1
You weren't the kind of person to revel in despair.
Yet the last five years had been the hardest of your life.
You weren’t used to falling into oblivion, but lately the consequences of the choices you made weighed on your shoulders.
In addition to the existing difficulties, your fellow sorcerers now cast suspicious glances upon you, further complicating your situation.
You knew they couldn't know your guilt, but regardless, you felt the weight of their gazes on you.
Just before the departure of Suguru Geto, you were just part of that wonderful trio, which unfortunately was now just a duo.
Gojo, he’d been through this a long time, but you... well, it was easier to exorcise a special level while you were drunk. You saw it when an anonymous message appeared on your phone.
Shinjuku, Golden Gai, 10pm, I would love to see you again. [00:07]
You had watched the band of notifications motionless, eyelids did not close, creating an unpleasant burning sensation.
Who are you? [8:14]
The question was more than fair, yet deep down you knew who he was.
Izumi, do I need to explain it to you? [8:17]
You thought you were strong enough to ignore the message, but you had come around.
What makes you think I’ll come? [ 8:20]
Why was your heart beating so hard? Your ex-best friend was a mass murderer, what were you thinking? Did you think a good coffee in company would solve your differences?
Bullshit, and yet, as you saw the three dots vibrating, -a sign that he was writing-, your heart seemed to be in the roller coaster.
You should learn not to leave situations halfway, including people. [8:20]
That answer was enough to make you turn off your phone screen with a slight panic.
You threw your phone on the creased blankets, while with your peripheral vision you could see Gojo turning over in the sheets.
How long has this been going on? A year?
Satoru was the most cheeky guy you knew, and when he first locked you with his body in the fancy couch of his apartment, you couldn’t resist his will.
There was no need to say anything, what you knew was that Satoru wanted you:
maybe he was simply looking for warmth and understanding. And who more than you could understand him? Who more than you could understand the pain you had accumulated?
Basking in the warmth of passion seemed the right way to deal with your shortcomings.
Even if the relief lasted one night, what was wrong?
Your relationship had always been considered fraternal, yet now, as it began to languidly kiss your jaw, you realized that the relationship you had as teenagers had dangerously cracked.
While you were thinking about Suguru’s messages, you were getting more and more estranged.
Satoru used to always try to bring your attention back to him, but that morning was different. That morning, you woke up with a message reminding you of how much he was still alive, etched into you.
«Izumi, is there something wrong?» his six eyes dug your guts, reminding you that, for him, nothing could go unnoticed.
«I’m fine», to repeat it aloud, had served to make you understand that no, you were not well.
The sound of your voice was quiet and insecure.
If there was one thing you couldn’t do was lying to him. Gojo used to tell you, you were terrible at telling lies.
He could always see it in your face, when something was wrong or tormented you, but you certainly would not have started to tell of the messages that Geto had sent you.
«Do I have to remind you that my six eyes can see the rapid beat of your heart? Or the change of sweating? Also your salivation and the veins in your neck, tell me that something is wrong».
You turned to him, dipping into his lapis-blue eyes.
«Do not use your sight like this», you scolded him, frowning.
Satoru’s hands were soon on the sides of your head. He held himself above you, locking you on the mattress of his kingsize bed.
If there was one thing you learned, it was that Satoru did everything you couldn’t stand. This was one of them: studying you with his six eyes.
«Mmh, I bet that if I took you now, you would quickly forget what oppresses you».
By slowly pulling your hair apart, Satoru touched your lips with his.
The sudden contact made you shudder.
The kisses with Satoru were mostly very sloppy and this was no exception. His tongue caressed yours, creeping through your pearly teeth. As your saliva mixed, your sweet moans were absorbed by his mouth, something that Satoru always liked so much.
He was the only guy you gave yourself to, you started to wonder why you did it without thinking too much.
Your needy relationship, kept you both poised on a precipice.
After a frustrating week you found yourself tumbling through the sheets. It was a pleasant routine, something you would only offer to him.
«Tell me Izumi, you like it, huh?».
He had lustfully rubbed your fat butt, squeezing the flesh between his fingers.
You were never much of a talker, not even so open-minded when it came to feelings. You left Satoru the monopoly of the situation: did he want to fuck you? That was fine. He wanted to do it more brutally? No problem.
If you had carried on your relationship like this, it was because he wanted it.
He was looking for you, and you left the door open.
Yet now, the feeling of his lips on yours,left you with a different feeling. You tried to enjoyed the moment , but the weight in your chest was more binding than you thought.
«w-wait», you had stuttered in his shiny lips.
«Mmh», he had complained trying to persuade you to continue.
The light penetrated into the room illuminating Satoru’s silver hair, he did not seem happy to come off your lips, you had seen him from his frowning eyebrows.
«Be a good girl for me, ok?» he asked, tenderly massaging your cheek. «If you want to play the game of rape is fine, I know you like it so much when we do it», whispered in your ear.
«Is that what you want?» he continued to kiss you. Your mouths produced obscene snaps, while your best friend’s hands spread your legs. Your meaty thighs were crushed by his huge hands, could you ask better than that?
His cunning look darted at your half-naked body. The signs of the previous night made him think of all the obscene positions he putted you into, -not to mention how many times he had brought you ruinously to the peak.
Every time, as you went down from your peak, he kept over-stimulating you: it seemed like his favorite game is to see how you twisted exasperated.
«Satoru», his mouth was soon within inches of your excitement. His breath was shattering on it, and you swore you could only come with his languid eyes peering down on you.
«I’ll put you through this bad mood, Izumi».
In Satoru’s eyes, you were always his sweet, wonderful best friend. Only in the last year he rediscovered you as a woman, and been pleasantly impressed by your submissive side as well as your more exuberant side. The thing that turned him on the most was that you had never set any limits on him. Lately he struggled to find a sexual partner who could match him. Being Gojo Satoru was also being unlimited in many ways: sex was not excluded. In fact, it was a very important aspect. If he had no boundaries in battle, why would he have had them in bed?
You were so perfect for him.
The stronger sorcerer looked at you as he dipped his nose in your panties, «w-wait , S-Satoru-», a groan left your lips making him smile in your wet folds.
When his tongue had traveled over the fabric of your panties , you had arched your back, squinting at two slits. Gojo’s hands pressed you on the soft mattress, not allowing you any kind of movement. That’s how you liked it, you liked being at the mercy of his strength and decisions.
Her soft tongue stiffened in your swollen clitoris, leaving you breathless.
You were so beautiful as you became rigid under his expert touch, he wondered if you were aware of your beauty.
Winking, he finally laid his thumbs down your panties, parading them with mastery.
Your bare, silky-smooth legs were gently caressed, giving you a lot of chills.
It wasn’t just about touching you, it was also about knowing how to do it, and Satoru was good at catching your weakness.
When he began to make imaginary circles in your inner thigh , you went literally crazy.
Just like he said, you forgot what was bothering you at the time.
His tongue returned to your obscene wet pussy.
He had gone all the way through your opening, and then ended up in your tiny, tight, juicy hole.
As he licked away the evidence of your excitement, he began to pass a thumb in your center, and not even the kami knew how much you liked it.
Your laments clashed with the bare walls of the chamber, leaving the wizard pleased. If there was one thing He loved about you other than your boobs and your wonderful personality, it was your voice. So clear and feminine, so sweet as you called his crying name.
While he licked you needy, you were a sight for sore eyes.
He had been between your legs many times, but each time it was as if it was the first.
«Satoru... Sa-toru», you gasped louder, as he carried two fingers to collide with your opening. He was teasing it, but he didn’t go in, and he was driving you crazy.
Your pelvis arched towards his fingers, you were so eager to have more, you forgot about any upset.
«Please», you meowed, grabbing his hand.
«Honey, do I have to go in? How many fingers would you like, hmm?» he was so cheeky that you wanted to slap him, and yet you liked him so much.
«Three», grumbling, eager.
Satoru laughed, jokingly hitting your swollen clitoris with a swipe of the index finger.
Your reaction made him laugh deliciously.
«Three? I actually thought I’d start with...», he put the middle finger, making it fit from your opening to the first knuckle.
«Please... please», it was so unbearable the way he had decided to torture you that morning...
The middle finger was wrapped up to the last knuckle, skillfully moved it in search of your deepest point.
The ring finger came in, entering halfway.
Pointing his fingers upwards, he hit your most sensitive part repeatedly, writhing between the wrinkled sheets.
«Are you ready for me?» she whispered, kissing feverishly and then immediately after moving to the height of your pulsating clitoris.
Your spongy walls were squeezing around his fingers.
When he targeted your G-spot, your back was rippling for relief.
Like he felt your pleasure, he kept hitting you in the same spot.
The tongue played with your pulsating clitoris, letting you immerse yourself in the feeling that preceded orgasm.
The tingling was getting stronger and stronger, until, without any kind of inhibition, you had repeated his name several times, covering your face.
Prey to colvulsion, you were released abruptly in an intense orgasm, filling with your juices thesorcerer’s needy mouth..
As you came down from the climax, Gojo had languidly kissed you, making you forget all your worries again.
He licked your lusty rosy lips as he rubbed his huge venous cock on your leg.
«Do you want it?» he kept rubbing himself on you, this time caressing your breasts half naked.
You were too exhausted to answer, so Satoru took it as an invitation to tease you more.
He was like that, you know. He never held back when it came to teasing you. Gojo, over the years, had never changed his essence: his determined temperament reminded you how much he liked to provoke you. He did it with others, but with you he was different, distinctly different.
Despite the recent bandages he had adopted, you were certain that behind them lurked his cunning eyes, peering at you with a sense of superiority. If initially this bothered you, over time you had started to find it particularly charming. You loved being provoked like that.
Your bond could not be labeled as partners , because you were looking for something different.
The harmony between you allowed you to fully enjoy every moment, whether in the bedroom or elsewhere. Even during meetings, he could always tease you, and as you tried to ignore him with an impassive look, you quivered within yourself with longing for more.
So when he claimed you with a strong push, you screamed for the pleasure.
«You like it when I take you out of the blue, don’t you?» he started hammering your pussy without mercy.
His excitement was long and big, it was easy for him to touch points usually unreachable.
While he was using your head as a foothold, he was lustfully biting your lips.
Your breasts were rubbing against her naked chest, stimulating you further.
The pleasure you felt was so intense that you couldn’t inhale the air properly.
You started coughing, choking on your own saliva.
He took a hand to your mouth, covering it completely, «breathe with your nose, I don’t want you to die suffocated», he whispered to you, amused and gasping.
As the saliva poured into his hand, he didn’t seem to want to slow down.
You complained at every blow, especially when he pulled you sitting on his lap.
Gojo’s huge dick never came out of you, continuing the work he had started.
The position you were, facilitated his entry.
You were completely impaled in his pulsating cock , you had put your cheek in his shoulder, poised between orgasm and fainting.
You called him crying, you begged him, you didn’t even know why. Maybe because he was becoming so beautiful that he was unbearable. The more it hit your cervix, the more your stomach was stirring, upsetting your bowels.
«Please», you complained, «I beg you».
A strong slap made your fat butt vibrate. Satoru seemed to slowly begin to release his orgasm when he grabbed the cheeks of your chubby butt.
«Do you want it?» he asked as his facial muscles contracted.
You cried, arched your back, looking for comfort.
«Tell me, tell me how much you want it», he continued.
If there was one thing that turned you on so much, it was his voice cracked with pleasure. The fact that he spoke so much during sex made you incapable of thinking clearly, especially since you usually responded to his provocations with obscenities that escaped from your lips.
This time was different.
He gave you no way to respond as he grabbed your hips and stuck his hands in your feminine curves.
He was so rude, so reckless, he didn’t even notice your eyes had turned white.
Your pupils were swirling backwards, putting a black wall in front of you.
When his hot cum flooded your battered opening, you had quickly regained consciousness, just enough to get ruined over her throbbing and reddening cock.
«Here you are, good girl», he praised you, moving your hair ruffled from your face.
The pearly sweat skin stuck to Satoru’s.
The embrace in which you had abandoned yourselves had acted as a shield to the ugly intrusive thoughts you had had just woken up.
The question now was, how long would the effect last?
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Chapter 2:
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duongthidinh · 9 months
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admiralfluffy · 8 months
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Shipgirl Appreciation Thread -Akagi
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Well, said I was gonna do this, and who better to start with than the Prime Waifu herself, Akagi. My journey with Akagi starts a few decades before she's introduced in Azur Lane. Back when I was but a youth, my budding interest in the Pacific War brought me to a little movie called Tora! Tora! Tora! Of course, we see the flagship of the Kido Butai, Akagi. Her design was so unique compared to almost any other carrier, and I found myself fascinated with her. I found just about every book in the English language on Akagi over the years(not that there are that many, sadly). I had a 1/700 waterline model of her, if it had Akagi, I had an interest. (Except for Pearl Harbor, that movie is BAD). So, fast forward a few decades, and a friend of mine says, "Hey, there's this new game that turns WW2 ships into cute anime girls". My interest piqued, I downloaded the game and started playing. And there, on the first real level, was Akagi, setting fire to my base(and my heart). I was immediately taken by her design and her confident demeanor, and the more I learned about her, the more I fell in love. She's a little crazy, yes, but in a fun way. She makes it very clear that despite being just a tiny bit obsessed with you, she will never do anything to upset you, and if you choose to be with someone else, she accepts that as long as you understand and accept her love for you. Of course, if you choose her(which you should), she's loving, devoted, and has chains specially prepared just for you. Isn't that sweet?(Yes, yes it is) She's also utterly devoted to her people and her family, something I really respect, even if she makes some bad choices as a result of it. Doing the wrong thing for the right reasons always gets a few points in my book. She straddles the line between crazy fun and just plain crazy like a pro, and it's been fun watching her progress both in the story and through her skin lines. Her skins, speaking of, are all breathtakingly beautiful and have gotten better and better as time goes on. My current favorite is her party dress skin. Perfect blend of classy and sexy.
And, in the end, Akagi saved my writing career. At that point, I had been writing for a few years, even getting myself published in a few fanzines, only to get a response of utter silence. I'd get a like here and there, maybe one random comment, but even when I asked for feedback, the most I would receive is a collective shrug. I felt like my writing wasn't good enough, wasn't memorable, didn't draw anyone in. And with this profound lack of interest, I decided I'd give up writing. Before I did that, however, I was going to roll the dice one last time. I wrote a simple one-shot fic called New Year's Resolution, about a Commander and Akagi on New Year's Eve and put it up on Reddit. I figured if nobody reads it, then at least I went out writing about a character I love. But people did read it, and they liked and commented and wanted more. So I wrote more. And I grew and grew as I wrote until I am leaps and bounds better now than when I started this AL fanfiction journey four years ago. Any success I have in writing, I owe to Akagi. I've always loved her, and I always will.
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virromanus · 3 months
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Recommended Latin Textbooks and Readers for Beginners and Intermediate Learners
As a Latin learner, I have compiled a list of Latin textbooks and readers, which I'd recommend, for beginners and intermediate students:
For Beginners:
Familia Romana (Lingua Latina Book 1) - Uses the natural method of language acquisition, presenting Latin vocabulary and grammar without any English translations​​.
Complete Latin Beginner to Intermediate Book and Audio Course by Gavin Betts - Offers a comprehensive approach to reading, writing, speaking, and understanding Latin​​.
A Little Latin Reader by Prof Mary C. English - Ideal for undergraduate courses, covering a wide range of grammatical constructions with unadapted passages from Classical authors​​.
Latinitium’s Pugio Bruti: A Crime Story in Easy Latin - Designed to help beginners memorize 350 words through natural repetition, presented in story format​​.
For Intermediate Learners:
Cambridge Intermediate Latin Readers - Focuses on genuine, unsimplified Latin prose and poetry with helpful introductions, detailed notes, and full vocabularies​​. Read Ovid & Virgil.
Wheelock's Latin Reader (7th Edition) - A sequel to Wheelock's Latin, ideal for intermediate-level Latin courses, featuring classical, medieval, and late Latin writers​​.
Via Perīculōsa - Intended for beginning/intermediate students, featuring 88 unique words and action occurring in real places across the Roman Empire​​.
Reading Latin: Text and Vocabulary by Peter V. Jones and Keith C. Sidwell - Designed for those transitioning from beginner to intermediate levels, this book focuses on authentic Latin texts, offering a good mix of prose and poetry along with comprehensive vocabulary lists.
These textbooks and readers provide a range of methodologies and content, from the natural method without English translations to comprehensive courses and stories designed to build vocabulary and understanding of Latin through natural repetition and contextual learning.
Do suggest more reading or listening materials if you have. Let's grow this list to help those who wants to get started in learning Latin.
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marlo-noni · 20 days
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Here's part 2 of my Mandarin learning journey. For part 1, go here.
After I left university in 2003, I started working in an office. I was able to scrape together enough money to travel to China for 6 weeks in 2005.
I was 25 years old when I went to China for the first time in October-November 2005. I was traveling on my own, and I really didn't have much money, so it was the backpacking type of travel.
I started in Hong Kong, in Chungking Mansions. Then stayed with a friend of a friend in Guangzhou. Then I bussed to Yangshuo, Guangxi province; then an overnight train to Kunming, Yunnan province. Then buses to Dali and then Lijiang in Yunnan. Then back to Kunming, and then a 36-hour train ride back to Guangzhou (this was before high-speed rail in China), and then finally back to HK for a final week.
This was before smartphones and social media. It was the era of internet cafes in China - that was the only way you could get online. It was also before the Great Firewall (China banned Google in 2010). I kept in touch with my family and friends through email, long-distance phone cards, and Livejournal. My posts are still up, actually (that's the first one; you can use the navigation arrows to go to the next one).
My only way of looking up Chinese vocab when I was there was my Oxford Chinese-English dictionary, which as you can imagine is extremely limited! So I had lots of experiences where I embarrassed the heck out of myself and/or was simply not able to get my point across or understand what someone was saying to me. But that's also just learning a second language. Your skin gets thicker the more you do it. There were plenty of times where I was speaking to people who didn't know any English (see: literally 99% of the people on the train), so I just had to muddle through.
Being a white foreigner obviously helps - most people were pretty curious and friendly. When I was in Lijiang (where there were a ton of Chinese tour groups and hardly any foreigners), people wanted to take their picture with me.
I could say plenty more about this trip, but this is about my Mandarin learning journey. You can go read my account of it on Livejournal if you like. Keep in mind it's my PoV from 2005.
When I came back to Canada, I worked in the same office for about a year until I got totally sick of it, and then I became a bike courier for 9 months. This is relevant to the story. Being a bike courier affords you a lot of freedom, but it's physically tough and the pay is terrible. So I started applying for office jobs again, and I eventually got hired as a receptionist for a woman who was a notary public and immigration consultant. The reason she hired me is because I could speak Mandarin.
So, I worked as a receptionist/legal assistant at that office from 2007 to 2013 using my shitty Mandarin every day. My boss was from Taiwan and had originally been a paralegal at an immigration lawyer's office, until she started her own notary and immigration consulting practice. She was also a certified Chinese-English translator. So, the whole reason I'm a paralegal today is because this one lady wanted a receptionist who spoke fluent English and also understood some Chinese.
There were some really great things and really terrible things about that job. The good: I got to use Chinese every day, I learned how to be a legal assistant (notaries in my province can handle real estate transactions and prepare Wills and Powers of Attorney, and immigration consultants represent immigrants to Canada and prepare and submit their applications), and I got to do some simple translations because she was also a certified translator. I also gained a very rudimentary ability to read some traditional Chinese. Most of our clients were from the Mainland, though, not Taiwan.
The bad things: the pay was terrible (I started at $12/hour and ended at $18/hour, and by the end I was fully doing paralegal-level work - at my current job, I make about $42/hour now before taxes!), during the 2008 economic crash my boss had to cut my hours to 4 days/week because she lost a bunch of money in the stock market, and my boss was a tyrant. She scolded me a lot, and I'd often get in trouble for reasons that totally mystified me. I'm sure some of it was cultural, but I also think she was just unnecessarily harsh a lot of the time.
I knew someone who worked at a big law firm who tried to get me hired there, but their HR said I needed to get a legal assistant certificate, so I eventually went to school for 8 months full-time to get that, and then I got hired at my current law firm. I've been working at my current law firm since 2013.
The drawback for my Chinese learning at my current firm is that it's a legitimate mid-size law firm. There are about 45 lawyers. So everything has to be super professional, which means even though I speak some Chinese, I can't use my busted-ass Mandarin with clients. I know very little legal terminology, so anytime a lawyer wants someone to interpret, I can't really do that. Plus, it's Vancouver, so there are already some legal assistants at my firm who are actually fluent in Chinese who can do proper interpreting.
So, Chinese went back to being my hobby. That meant that there were ebbs and flows. I remember watching The Legend of Zhen Huan (Empresses in the Palace) in about 2015 when there was a super edited version of it on Netflix, and I got into it enough that I found the original series with English subs on some streaming site like Dramacool/Kissasian/its equivalent and watched the whole thing. After that, I watched the first half of Nirvana in Fire before something else grabbed my attention - eventually I need to watch that entire series! I remember learning a bunch of guzhuang vocabulary from those series that I hadn't heard before, like concubines referring to themselves as 奴婢, and people saying 陛下息怒 when the emperor was angry.
But what really happened is that my Chinese languished for quite a while. In 2017 I started planning a trip to Japan that I'd eventually take in 2019, and I started studying Japanese on Duolingo and then Lingodeer. I also discovered Skritter at that time, and used it to practice kanji, which of course I already had a huge head-start on because of Chinese. And I gotta say, even though Japanese has a very complicated writing system, it is SO MUCH easier to learn than Chinese, at least in my experience.
Then the pandemic hit, and I'm a white girl on Tumblr with an interest in Asian culture and a Netflix subscription, so what happened next was - you guessed it - in early 2021, I watched The Untamed for the first time. And when I finished it, I rewatched it again. And then I fell down that entire rabbit hole.
And as ridiculous as it is, The Untamed is what fully reignited my Chinese learning so that I'm at the point today where I've learned about 2900 Chinese characters, and I can watch Liu Yuning's livestream and understand about 75% of it. But let's leave that for the next part of this long-ass story.
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Wonderful World - Part 1
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Hello friends, part 1 is here! This one is long, but it is setting the scene to show where each character is at as this story begins. I really hope you guys like it! And again, it's just starting to be developed so if there is anything that you'd like to see happen in the story please let me know, I'd love to hear your feedback and suggestions!
Learn more about the premise of the story, see main (original) character mood boards, and character casting HERE
Warnings: Brief mentions of suicide and depression
WC: 11.3k
“Alright, alright! Listen up!” Diana’s voice carried above the rest of the voices as her class continued chattering as the class period came to an end, “Before you go, I know it’s only our second week back, but I will remind you of the paper you have due in 2 weeks!” She called over the commotion, “Dos paginas, completamente en Español, sobre sus carreras y las metas que tienen para el futuro!” Diana reminded the students in her intermediate level Spanish class and a few of her students nodded while a few others looked on perplexed, “If you need to hear that in English you can find the information on your syllabus!” She smiled as they started filtering out. She rounded the podium at the front of the classroom and started packing up her things.
“Profesora Beltran?” She heard and glanced up to see one of her students approaching. She taught Spanish to college students and was proud to be one of the more popular professors of the World Languages department.
“Yes, Maddie?” She asked as she shifted her focus to the young girl before her.
“Ummm, I am still undecided in my major, so I’m not sure what my goals for the future are. I was wondering if you would allow me to write my paper on something else?” She asked nervously and Diana’s expression shifted into one of compassion and understanding as she removed her glasses.
“Oh, certainly Maddie. You can write about a profession that interests you or a career you’d like to have?” She suggested and Maddie smiled timidly.
“Ummm, I actually run a small candle making business, I mostly sell on Etsy and I want to do that full-time, but my parents are a bit opposed to that. They don’t see much of a future there, is that something I could write about?” She inquired and Diana smiled.
“I love candles! I think if you’re passionate about that then you should have plenty to say about that.” She decided and Maddie smiled brightly upon hearing this.
“Oh wow, thank you Professor.” 
“Of course.” Diana smiled and soon the girl was heading off.
Despite her win with one of her students right now, Diana wasn’t feeling too great, she was actually feeling extremely anxious today. More than she had in a long while because she would be taking her daughter, Celeste to a therapist for the first time in her life and these were the thoughts plaguing her mind as she made her way through the building and to her office.
Celeste, was her 14 year old daughter and she had been displaying symptoms of depression for a while and despite Diana’s efforts to try and talk to her about it she was consistently met with a huff or an eye roll, which were not surprising responses from a teen girl. But it was just the day before school was back in session that Celeste came up to her in tears and told her that maybe she was a bit depressed. She was 14, a freshman in high school, there were new pressures, academically and socially, and Diana explained to her tearful daughter that depression wasn’t uncommon in her age group and that it was something very treatable and with the right help she could be back to her old self in no time.
It was concerning to Diana when Celeste expressed her apprehension with seeing the school counselor. She said that she was really overworked and that when she first reached out for help in November she was assessed for suicide and upon determining that she was low risk, she was given a pamphlet with coping strategies as appointments were not available until they returned from school after Christmas break. So Diana did what any parent would do and researched for therapists in her area that were accepting clients. It was rather hopeless and eventually she resorted to checking Psychology Today, where she knew she might find options of newer clinicians who were building their clientele and would have time for their patients. She eventually did find one who had a relatively new practice, his name was Dr. Harry Styles, his website was really nice and easy to navigate, and the information provided there made her feel confident in him and so she made an appointment. It was only an intake, if the vibe wasn’t right she could continue looking, but she just wanted Celeste to get help sooner rather than later and well, today was the day.
She checked the time on her phone and saw it was already 2:30pm so she pulled up the intake forms that he had sent and got to filling them out. Celeste had already filled out an electronic questionnaire outlining her symptoms and Diana was just filling out the information about insurance and parental consent to treatment. Soon she was printing the forms out and locking up her office to pick up Celeste from school. 
Celeste was also really nervous for her appointment, which was completely understandable, but Diana talked her down and assured her that the first appointment was just going through the forms that had been filled out and feeling out the vibe with the therapist. Diana assured her that if she didn’t like the therapist that they could keep looking and that seemed to ease some of her daughter’s nerves. After a ten minute drive they were pulling up to an older apartment building and parking out on the street. They made their way inside slowly and right at the bottom floor they saw a directory and he was on floor 5, room A & B, so they rode up to the fifth floor and upon the doors sliding open it was evident that this apartment building had been modified into office spaces. There was a plastic plaque reading Harry Styles, MD beside the frosted glass door with a 5A painted onto the center of the glass. They headed inside and were met with an empty reception desk, but there was a sign on it reading “In Session, I’ll be with you shortly”, so they sat on the couch there and Diana looked around as Celeste pulled out her phone. It was home-y, the color palette was neutral, but not in the way that made you feel like you were in a model home or something of that natural. The couches they were on were evidently new, but the furniture looked loved-on, there were magazines and coloring books for kids and adults on the table before them, and the wall art was minimalistic with positive messages and bursts of color that drew her eye. It couldn’t have been more than five minutes before they heard some movement on the other side of the reception area and then another door close and moments later the door across the room opened up to reveal a tall and very handsome man. Upon seeing her and Celeste he smiled and stepped out to the reception area.
“Hello, you must be my 3:30, Celeste right?” He asked. He had an accent and his voice was deep, but calming - not daunting in any manner.
“Hi yeah, that’s me.” Celeste said standing and offering him reluctant smile.
“Nice to meet you, Celeste. I’m Harry.” He said coming over and extending his hand to her and she shook it politely as Diana stood as well and their eyes met and Harry’s pupils immediately grew in size at the woman before him. She was definitely shorter than him, but she looked really professional and put together, so he assumed she might be Celeste’s mother, but how? She looked young enough to be a sister, “You must be her…?” He asked Diana instead of just assuming her relation.
“I’m her mom, Diana Beltran.” Diana introduced herself, extending her hand to meet his, his beautiful eyes met her own as they greeted each other and she felt that his eyes were just burning into her soul; it almost felt like time stopped for the moment they greeted each other.
“Wonderful, nice to meet you as well.” Harry greeted with a warm smile. As soon as their hands broke contact he clasped them together in front of his chest, “Have you been waiting long?” He asked and she shook her head.
“Hardly, just a few minutes.” She assured.
“Perfect.” He smiled at her and then Celeste, “I know you filled out the online questionnaire, were you able to complete the other intake forms?” He asked them.
“Yes, here they are.” Diana cut in and reached into her tote to pull out a folder and handed them to him. 
“Excellent.” He smiled, “If you’re ready Celeste, we can head back now.” He said and she looked to her mom for a moment.
“It’s alright.” Diana assured softly, “I’ve got your things.” She said extending her hand and Celeste gave her mom her phone before following Harry back into the main space and then the door shut. Now that she was out of sight, Diana felt even more stressed and she just hoped that this guy made an attempt to make Celeste feel heard and comfortable.
************
Harry tried to reflect as much calm as possible because he could feel the apprehension and anxiety emanating from his new, young potential client. She took a seat on the couch in the position furthest away from his seat as possible, which was typical of most first timers. He let her know he was just going to check the forms out and she could look around and then proceeded to open up the folder that her mother had so kindly put together with the intake forms and he paged through them.
Celeste liked his office, it was cozy and his rug was cool. She then noticed a record player on the sideboard against the wall and she wanted to look at it more closely. As her eyes traveled down she noticed that one of the panels was open and that there were actually records in there and she was curious about what he had in his collection.
“Ummm, Dr. Styles, can I look at the records?” She asked nervously and he looked up from the form he was reading over, with a friendly smile.
“Certainly!” He encouraged her and she slowly got up and went over to look at the records inside of the cabinet. She smiled as she recognized a handful of them as she flicked through them. He also had some candle going on another little table by the window that reminded her of her mom’s bedroom, it was maybe the same one. When she spared him a glance she saw that he was still looking through the forms her mom had brought and she bit her lip nervously when they made eye contact.
“Y-your office is nice.” She said as she made her way back to the couch and he smiled.
“Thank you.” He expressed his gratitude at her compliment.
“I especially like your rug, it’s really cool.”
“Yeah? It’s my favorite thing in here actually.” He said excitedly and she smiled nervously, “Did you see any music you liked?” He asked and she nodded.
“Obviously the Beatles and some Elvis.” She said and he smiled, “And your Wings ones, Paul is my favorite Beatle.” She explained.
“Get out of town, mine too!” He grinned and she smiled wider, she was still looking really nervous, “So apart from having sick taste in music, what are other things that you enjoy?” He asked and she started to talk a little bit more about her interests. Harry learned that she played guitar and that her favorite classes in school were Human Biology and choir, and that she was considering joining the drama club, and a few other surface level facts. She seemed a little hesitant to talk about herself though, almost as if she was concerned that she would say something wrong.
“You know, it’s my job to listen to you, no matter what you want to talk about and I won’t judge you, so if anything comes to mind you can just say it.” He assured and she exhaled and nodded, “Is this your first time trying therapy?” He asked and she nodded.
“Yeah.” She then responded verbally, “I’m kinda nervous, I guess, sorry.”
“It’s normal for you to feel nervous when you’re doing something brand new.” He assured her, “What about it makes you feel nervous?” He asked and she sighed and looked down at her fingers that were twisting together in her lap.
“Just…I don’t know…I mean first of all you’re a stranger.” She said and he hummed.
“True.” He said and she shrugged before proceeding.
“And I guess I’m nervous that it won’t work on me?�� She said in a questioning tone as their eyes met again and he bit his lip as he listened to her express her concerns over treatment and what had happened with the counselor at her school and it was honestly very disappointing to hear her experience.
“I’m so sorry that happened to you. I understand why you’re so hesitant about this, but let me let you in on something. Whether this works or not is totally up us being a team. It’s my job to listen, guide you, and give you tools to help you get better and it’s your job to try and use the tools I give you as recommended. The only way it won’t work is if one of us is not doing our part, and I promise you that if you decide to stick with me I will always do my part.” He said with certainty and a friendly smile and she nodded, “Of course, sometimes just talk therapy isn’t sufficient or isn’t working as quickly as we’d like and if that’s the case we can talk about medication to help. So if you really feel it’s not helping you can tell me so that I can make sure that I am doing everything I can do to get you back on your feet.” He explained and she nodded along again
“Well, I hope this works.” She said and he chuckled.
“I promise you I will do my absolute best.” He reassured her and she smiled and with that he started to get into the session. He started to explain to her the confidentiality clause and what kinds of things are excluded from that, he went over his role and responsibilities as the clinician, and then they started going over the questionnaire she had filled out, and what she wanted to get out of therapy. As Harry listened on he jotted down a couple things that stood out and his own questions that he wanted to ask and the longer she spoke the more it was evident that she was experiencing some depression. As she finished recounting her side of things he took over explaining what he thought would be the best treatment plan for her and how he wanted to approach her situation.
Celeste liked the way he talked to her and how he expressed himself very clearly. When he answered her or asked her a question she could tell he had listened to everything she had said and was so patient. The things she felt were confusing sometimes and he didn’t push her when she would answer with an “I don’t know”. He was just so nice that she felt comfortable with him quite quickly, a lot of the stuff she had told him about what was happening at school, she hadn’t even told her mom and that was new for her because they were quite open with each other. But once they wrapped up she felt really good and she had decided that she wanted to give him a chance.
“So in terms of scheduling, we need to work that out with your mom right?” He asked and she nodded, “OK, perfect. I’m going to have her switch with you in just a moment, but just so we’re clear, like I said at the start, anything we talk about in session just stays between us. I’m just going to go over some of the formalities with her and answer any general questions she might have for me. But if you would like me to be able to share your progress or any information about our sessions with your mom then you can always sign a release, but only if you really want to.” He offered.
“Thank you, I’ll give it some thought. And ummm, do I call you doctor or?” She asked and he chuckled.
“I prefer my name, Harry, but if Dr. Harry or Dr. Styles is more comfortable for you then that’s OK with me too.” He assured with a kind smile and she nodded and they both stood and headed to the door.
*************
As soon as the office door opened up Diana flew up from her seat and locked her phone. She saw Celeste come out and then Dr. Styles emerged with a small smile and that made her feel more at ease.
“Mom, he needs to talk with you now.” Celeste informed and Diana nodded.
“OK. I’ll be just a few minutes.” Diana said and reached for her bag before she followed him back to his main consultation room. She had a look around when she walked in and when she went to sit, she sat on the side of the couch nearest to his chair as Harry went to grab his laptop before settling into his seat.
“Is she alright?” Diana asked and he smiled.
“Yeah, she’s good. She did great, by the way.” He reassured her.
“That’s good to hear. I don’t know if she mentioned to you what the school counselor said to her?” Diana asked with a frown.
“Yes, she did. That must be extremely concerning to learn as a parent.” He acknowledged and she nodded, “And I can assure you, that will not be the case here.”
“I would hope not.” She said with a slight chuckle, “I have been to therapy myself and I had such a great experience, I just want to make sure it’s the same for her and that we find the best fit for her and that she won’t be pushed to the side until she’s in distress.” Diana explained and he nodded in understanding, “About how many clients do you have in total?”
“I have 35 total right now.” He said, “Of those 35 I’m seeing 10 on a weekly basis, 15 on a biweekly basis, and the other 10 on a monthly basis or as needed as they have already completed their treatment or just need their medication dosages adjusted.” He explained and she nodded.
“Oh, OK that’s pretty good.” He smiled and nodded, “And you specialize in CBT.”
“Yes, but I do have a more Humanistic approach which is derived from-”
“Dr. Carl Rogers.” She cut in and Harry smiled and nodded.
“Precisely.” He grinned, “And I will assume you know what his approach is about?”
“Yeah. I don’t mean to be a know it all, after I was in therapy I got really into learning more about it and did a minor in clinical psychology in my undergrad.” She explained and he hummed.
“Oh, no worries! It’s good that you know though. Especially with the younger patients, it’s good to see when the parents are invested. Celeste seemed to really understand the process today, which I’d like to think I’m thorough, but I’d assume you walked her through it before.” He said with a smile.
“Yeah, she was so nervous, I gave her a little run down on the way here.” Diana explained with a smile.
“Well, it worked! She opened right up once we got past the daunting stuff.” Harry assured her.
“Oh wow, that’s typically hard for her. You must be good.” She said and he chuckled.
“I think we just have the same taste in rugs and music.” He joked and she laughed a bit before looking back into his eyes.
“So in terms of your assessment, what do you have in mind for a treatment plan?” She asked.
“Well, starting out I would like to see her once a week, treatment is typically 8 to 10 weeks give or take, just depends on her progress.” He explained to Diana who nodded.
“OK, that sounds reasonable. In terms of charge, what is your rate?”
“I’m charging $125 a session. I do offer a special for new clients, if you commit to three sessions I use your intake fee towards the third session.” He explained.
“Oh, why three appointments?” She asked with a curious smile and he chuckled.
“In my experience it’s enough to have a somewhat comprehensive diagnosis at that point. And also by that point people will have hopefully learned some basic tools to use in the future. Also, that’s the point where you start to get annoyed with your therapist so a lot of people flake out for a while. And well for the people that just come in trying to get prescribed meds I mean, that’s a lot of work to go through and so they’ll just fall off the face of the earth.” He said with a grin.
“Oh, I see. That’s smart! Is that something that happens a lot?”
“It has happened to me a few times here, the university is nearby so a lot of self-diagnosed ADHD or OCD people.” He said and she grinned.
“Ah, TikTok fallacies.” She hummed and he nodded.
“Exactly! A lot of them don’t like to hear that they’re perfectly normal with a few quirks.” He explained.
“Geez…I don’t think I ever considered how challenging this job must be.” She said and he chuckled.
“There’s more good days than those kinds of days.” He assured her.
“Well, it’s good to hear that from you.” Diana said and he smiled, “Sorry, back to the topic at hand, how much is it for today’s session and do you accept insurance at all?” She asked.
“Not yet, unfortunately. I’ve submitted several applications to be a network provider but it’s been a nightmare.” He explained with a small frown, “But it’s $100 even.” He said.
“I can imagine the circles they must walk you in.” She sighed through a dry laugh and he nodded.
“You would not believe.” He joked back and she shook her head as she dug through her tote bag for her wallet and pulled out a crisp $100 bill and handed it to him.
“I promise it’s real.” She joked and he laughed.
“Well now I feel like I need to check.” He joked back but headed to his desk and pulled out a little iPad where he started inputting that to give her a receipt. She continued looking around his office, recognizing the scent of the candle burning by a little table he had near the window. Soon he was back before her with a receipt in hand and she took it and started to put it in her bag.
“Well, Dr. Styles-”
“Harry is fine.” He cut in and she nodded.
“OK, well Harry, it was lovely to meet you and I will have a chat with Celeste, see what she thinks and ummm, in any event I’ll be in touch.” She said and he nodded.
“I appreciate that. It’s good to know when people decide to go in a different direction, otherwise I’m left wondering.” He explained and she nodded.
“It’s just professional courtesy, in my opinion.” She shrugged as she fished her keys out of her purse and he saw her university ID on the lanyard.
“Oh, you work at the university?” He asked in slight surprise and she glanced over to him as they approached the door.
“Yeah, I’m the newest faculty member in the World Languages department.” She disclosed.
“Oh, that’s neat. I actually just got hired as an adjunct professor for the department of Mental Health & Behavioral Intervention.” He said with a bright smile.
“Oh congrats! What’re you teaching?”
“It’s a graduate course on Tele-health. After the pandemic it’s important to be able to translate our skills through virtual sessions and a lot of people are having trouble with that. It’s a new class. I teach it twice a week.” He explained and she hummed in interest.
“That sounds really cool.”
“Yeah, thanks. Well, I don’t want to detain you any longer, but it was a pleasure to meet you both.” He said as he opened up his office door and led them through towards the reception area.
“Likewise. Thank you so much for your time.” Diana said turning back to him once more.
“Of course. And Celeste, chin up.” He encouraged her with a smile and she nodded, offering back a smile and soon they were riding back down the elevator in silence. They settled into the car and Diana glanced to Celeste.
“What did you think of Dr. Styles?” She asked and Celeste smiled.
“I like him. He was easy to talk to and he’s really nice. I want to try another session.” She said and Diana smiled.
“OK, sweetie. I liked him too, he’s very sweet.” Diana agreed. 
In a few minutes they were taking off and Diana was driving them to the grocery store to pick up something for dinner. She couldn’t stop thinking about how there was an air of familiarity with this Dr. Styles. If his session with Celeste went anything like their conversation went, she was very happy with the type of help he could provide her. She liked that he still remained professional without making it feel too formal or rigid, there was flow and it was noticeable that he really enjoyed his job.
************
Harry sighed contently as he bid farewell to his final client of the evening and locked up the exit door in his office. He then went to the reception area and also latched that door shut and switched off the lights before heading back to his office. He plopped down into the chair behind his desk with his note pad and opened up his laptop to start typing out his session notes from that day to put in the patients’ electronic files. He then got to Celeste’s notes and started to create a new file for her in his system. He needed to scan in all her paperwork and session notes. Just as he was about to start scanning his phone rang and he saw it was his girlfriend, Rebecca, and he smiled and picked up.
“Hey, love.” He greeted her with warmth.
“Hey, babe!” She responded cheerfully, “How was your day today?” She asked.
“It wasn’t all that busy, but I might have a new client on my roster, things went well so I’m hoping to hear back soon.” He said.
“Aw that’s great! I’m happy for you, H.” She hummed.
“Thanks, love. What’s up?” 
“Well I was calling because I was wondering if you’d be able to join me for something tonight? I know it’s super last minute, but a colleague of mine is friends with the mayor’s wife and she knows about my aspirations in city government and she thought she might introduce us. It’s just a little fundraiser for a clinic on wheels, cocktail attire is what she said.” Rebecca explained and Harry nibbled on his lip pensively.
“Mmmm, I have to prepare for lecture tomorrow…what time is it at?”
“It’s now. But they she said it’s over at 10pm. My colleague, Joanne, is gonna be there until about 9:30, but she said to come earlier rather than later as Mayor Singh might not be there until that late.” She explained and Harry nodded as he pulled up his calendar for the following day and saw he didn’t have many client’s scheduled the next morning.
“Ummm, yeah I can make it. Tomorrow is pretty slow, I can work on my lecture then. I just need to finish all my client notes right now.” He informed.
“OK, thank you so much, babe! Is half an hour enough time? I can pick you up? I’m just changing and touching up now.”
“Yeah, that’s plenty of time. I’ll see you in a bit. Love you.”
“Love you too, bye.”Rebecca said before hanging up. He let out a deep exhale before rolling his shoulders back and standing to get the scanner on and finish up Celeste’s file.
Harry and Rebecca had been dating for almost two years. When they met, he was on his least couple months of his residency and she was fresh out of law school and working on the legal team for the community mental health center he would do some of his hours at. Every year they did a mandatory training on the procedures in the case of a malpractice suit or of a subpoena. Since they were a community clinic a lot of people that came through were court mandated clients and it wasn’t out of the norm for the court to subpoena the doctors, therapists, or social workers working with that particular client - it was fairly routine. Either way, that is how their paths crossed and she was actually the one who approached him shortly after their first meeting. Rebecca was bold and had big ambitions, this wasn’t something Harry could see himself being entangled with in the long run, but when they started to date she started to slow down and he figured that maybe her goals were changing a bit.
Because Harry was fresh out of med school and had a little more time on his hands, he was eager to jump into anything that wasn’t school related and when Rebecca asked him out he said yes. Rebecca was smart, gorgeous, and very pleasant, what wasn’t to like. He doesn’t think either of them were looking for a serious relationship when they first started out, but all on its own it kind of became serious. Something that worked well for them was that they both were kind of workaholics, they were both ambitious and out their professions first and they both liked that they were of the same mentality because it helped them not to feel so strapped down. He was always more of a loner and he enjoyed his space and she was very much that same way and so things worked and they didn’t mess with it and here they were today. 
Sometimes Harry did wonder if their relationship was normal; what they had was working for them, but in a way there was kind of a distance between them and many of their friends didn’t really get that. He recalls that at one point his best friend, Henry, once said that it seemed that the relationship was just convenient for them and while he took offense and disagreed immediately, Rebecca responded first and asked Henry if it was wrong that a relationship be convenient? And well, after a big fight about that Harry and Rebecca cleared up that it was OK that they were progressing slower than other couples because they had a lot going on personally and that if it worked for them then there was nothing they needed to justify to others. What did worry Harry was that every aspect of life felt like a routine and he knew that while consistency is great, routine could also be damaging to relationships and Harry didn’t want that for them. He did love Rebecca and often worried that the routine they’d been in this entire time would lead to their slow, but certain demise.
The time passed him by quickly between doing his notes and his thoughts and before he even realized it his phone was ringing again with her name lighting up the screen. This meant that she was downstairs, so he quickly shut everything down and he slipped his laptop it into his lockable drawer and rushed out. He popped a piece of gum in his mouth as he rode down the elevator and as soon as he stepped out of the building he waved as he approached the car and then slipped into the passenger seat.
“Hi love. You look nice.” He hummed as he leaned over and kissed her cheek quickly.
“H, I just did my make up…” she sighed as she flipped down the visor to check her make up in the mirror.
“M’sorry.” He said as he switched on the overhead light so that she could see if anything was out of place, “I don’t see any damage.” He assured and she glanced to him and rolled her eyes before leaning over and puckering her lips out and he chuckled as he kissed her quickly on the lips.
“You’re lucky there’s no damage.” She said as she settled back into her spot, “You’ve got lipstick on your lips now though.” She grinned and he huffed and rubbed over them with his palm as he took off. The drive wasn’t all that long and the event seemed to be pretty packed when they arrived. She did a loop around the block and found no parking so they circled around again to the entrance.
“We’re just gonna have to do valet. S’cash only, though. Do you have cash?” Harry asked and she sighed.
“I don’t have cash do you?” She huffed.
“No, sorry.” He sighed, the only cash he had received was Mrs. Beltran’s payment earlier and that was back at the office.
“Fuck, I don’t want to miss the mayor.” She groaned and Harry nibbled on his lip.
“I can find somewhere to park, you go on. I’ll meet you inside, yeah?”
“Are you sure?” Rebecca asked and he was about to respond, but he jumped when he heard some knocks on the window.
“You can’t stop here unless you’re going to park valet!” The man shouted through the glass and Rebecca rolled her eyes.
“Yes, yes! I’m getting off!” She called back in an aggravated tone and Harry chuckled. Rebecca had a rather short fuse, he got it, he did too, and while he was now used to it, it wasn’t something that made her very likable to people who only experienced that part of her. Harry hurried out of the car to get to the driver’s side.
“Sorry, mate. I’m just dropping her off.” He said and the guy just nodded and she rushed past them and towards the entrance as Harry settled into the driver’s seat and took off down the street. He was able to find a parking spot a few streets down in a residential area, luckily no permits were needed and as he locked up the car he opened up his phone to let Rebecca know he was on his way over and he saw a text from her.
Becs:
Hey H, it’s invitation only! Text me when you’re up front!
Harry sighed as he started the walk over and as soon as he got there he texted her letting her know that he was outside and then five minutes passed…then fifteen…he even showed the guy with the list the text and he said he needed her to verify that he was her plus one, even if it were via text. He tried calling and she still didn’t answer and so now he was grumpy and hungry and decided to just go back to the car and pick up something to eat until she decided to check her bloody phone. Unfortunately, he had left his wallet in the office as he left in a rush and all he had was $5 on his apple pay from god knows how long ago and he was able to score himself a burrito which he ate in the car. It had been nearly an hour before Rebecca called him to come up front and so once again, he made the walk over and she was waiting at the steps of the venue.
“I’m so sorry, babe! Joanne was chatting with the mayor and his wife right when I got there and we were able to talk for a while and I couldn’t pull out my phone!” She explained as they made their way inside and despite his irritation he just nodded.
“It’s OK, things happen.” He assured her, “What were you able to talk to him about?” He asked curiously.
“Oh, just some ideas I have when I run for office as a council member.” She said vaguely because she knew that he had no real interest in that and he hummed as they made their way further in. He was able to meet Joanne and her wife, Michelle, they were sweet and nice to talk to and it was around half an hour later when they decided to go out for some drinks and dinner. Harry was still in a sour mood from his multiple walks to and from he car and he had already eaten. Joanne was nice enough to drop them off at their car and Rebecca agreed to meet them at some restaurant before getting out.
“Babe, can you just drop me off at my car? I ate while waiting for you and I’m just not feeling up to staying out tonight. It’s already 9:30.” He said and she sighed as he unlocked the car.
“Yeah, that’s fine.” She said as she opened up her door and then groaned, “H, my car smells like Mexican food.” She whined.
“I’m sorry, love. I was super hungry and there was no garbage can and I wasn’t gonna leave it on the street. I’m sorry.” He said again and she just sighed as she turned on the engine and rolled down the windows.
“It’s fine.” She huffed as she started texting on her phone for a moment before they took off again. The drive back was a bit tense though, despite that when she dropped him off at his office building she kissed his lips quickly and bid him a good night before taking off. Harry was left to wander back upstairs and grab his wallet before he left for the night.
This was why he wondered if their relationship was normal. As a mental health professional, he knew that all relationships looked and functioned differently, but he didn’t feel awful about things with Rebecca. Just now, he was irritated with her and she with him and they just got over it, it wasn’t anything serious that they were irked about, so it didn’t warrant a long conversation, they just needed to grow up and get over it, like they had. And it wasn’t always this way, they hardly ever argued and they did love each other. But sometimes when things like this would happen he wondered whether they were truly just with each other because it was convenient, like Henry had said, and they had both settled for each other because they got on so well and were like-minded. He knew he wanted more of a relationship but he didn’t know if his relationship with Rebecca was capable of that, they hadn’t really talked about it properly. He didn’t feel like it was sometimes and it worried him that he was just wasting her time and his time.
*********
Diana knew it was late, but over dinner she had a lengthy conversation with Celeste about how serious she was in continuing to see Dr. Styles as her therapist and she was very serious about it. She said she felt really comfortable around him because the way he talked to her was similar to her uncle Damian, Diana’s brother. He lived in Mexico, but they visited each other regularly and since Celeste didn’t really grow up with a father figure he was someone that she looked up to a lot. Either way, this prompted her to call his office and she would leave a message about wanting to schedule another appointment. She wasn’t sure why she was so nervous leaving the message, maybe it was how soothing his voice sounded in the greeting, despite him saying that if it was an emergency whoever called should dial 911 - it was the delivery of it that made her feel a little out of sorts.
“Hi Dr. Styles, or ummm Harry, you had said to call you that. I’m sorry it’s late.” She said and then shook her head as she thought to herself ‘that’s the point of voicemails, idiot’, “Anyway, I just wanted to give you some of the times that would work best for Celeste to start treatment. So, Mondays work, but 6pm would be better as my office hours end at 5:30pm. Or Tuesdays and Thursdays also work anywhere from 5 to 7pm, and Fridays after 3pm as well. Just ummm, yeah let me know what works best for you. If none of these work out just let me know and we can figure something out, you can also email me as I’ll be teaching tomorrow and that may be easier for me to check. Thank you for your time today, I appreciated it, have a good night.” She said and pulled the phone away about to hang up and then realized that she hadn’t even said who she was, “Oh, ummm this is Diana Beltran, by the way! Sorry, I forgot to-”
“Your message has been recorded-” the machine cut her off and she groaned, “to play it back press 1, to re-record press 2, to delete your message press 3. If you are finished you may-”
“Ughhh…” she groaned in irritation and hung up, cutting off the monotonous voice from continuing to speak. She wasn’t about to do that again, so she just set her phone down and continued packing up their left over chicken and rice for their lunch the next day.
************
Fresh out of the shower, Harry got in a t-shirt and sweats quickly before hopping into bed. He lived two blocks away from the university campus, so the house he lived in was originally old and small, but with gentrification and all it looked a lot more modern now and the property had been reconfigured to give optimal space, it was rather nice. It had a lot of character, is what he would tell people. Over the pandemic he renovated the bathrooms and re-invigorated the original wood flooring of the home and even now, he continued with his project on updating things just a bit during his free time. Either way, he was happy here and he found it easy to rest in his space. He reached for his phone to just kill some time before he drifted off to bed and as it lit up he saw that he had a voicemail forwarded from the office phone. He always checked just in case he needed to call 911 for a client or something. So he opened up his phone and immediately played the message and brought it up to his ear to listen…
“Hi Dr. Styles, or ummm Harry, you had said to call you that.” The gentle and soothing voice spoke and he immediately smiled as he pictured the person it belonged to, Diana. “I’m sorry it’s late. Anyway, I just wanted to give you some of the times that would work best for Celeste to start treatment. So, Mondays work, but 6pm would be better as my office hours end at 5:30pm. Thursdays also work anywhere from 5 to 7pm, and Fridays after 4:30pm as well. Just ummm, yeah let me know what works best for you. If none of these work out just let me know and we can figure something out, you can also email me as I’ll be teaching tomorrow and that may be easier for me to check. Thank you for your time today, I appreciated it, have a good night.” She finished and he heard a bit of shuffling for a few moments before he heard the last bit, “Oh, ummm this is Diana Beltran, by the way! Sorry, I forgot to-” it suddenly cut off and he chuckled to himself a bit. 
His office phone had a time limit on the messages and he had no idea how to fix that. He was tempted to get out of bed and grab his laptop to look at his calendar to figure out when he could schedule Celeste so that he could return her call first thing in the morning, but he needed to chill out. He wasn’t sure why he was so eager to figure this out for them. Actually he was…she was striking. Absolutely gorgeous. From the moment they met he was drawn to her just because of her looks. But more than that, she was so sweet and clearly smart, and she was amicable and so easygoing, it drew him in. Harry told himself that he was thinking of her because she had left a voicemail and obviously, she was now stuck in his head. And his mind kept bringing back one thought: Someone like her had to be taken. Just then, his phone buzzed in his hand and it was a text from Rebecca apologizing once again for getting upset at him for the food thing and telling him good night. He assured her it was alright and wished her a good night before deciding to just get to sleep. The last thing he needed was to be in shambles and exhausted for his class the following day and more than that, whatever curiosity Harry had towards Diana ended now. Yes, she was beautiful and she seemed like a nice and wonderful woman, but he would be seeing her daughter as his client and entertaining those ideas of her wouldn’t be beneficial to anyone.
*************
After Harry got far too excited over hearing Diana’s voice last night, even if it was over voicemail, he decided that he needed to set up a boundary before he got too invested in her or developed any type of crush on her, as he had decided the night before. Her daughter, Celeste, had chosen to continue seeing him as her therapist and the relationship with her was his priority now. After emailing Diana back about scheduling (instead of calling back), his day went by rather slow. Harry was dedicating a lot of his time to review his lecture material for his class that evening. His class was technically an elective, so he had students who were interested in or leaning towards only providing therapy online. His class was actually a good number, they capped them at 30 for the graduate students and he had 23, so it was good that this topic had cultivated interest. He did have to mentally prepare himself though to be as stoic and neutral as possible because some of the women in his class were not subtle at all. And even thought they were closer in age to him, he was still their professor and the last thing he wanted was to give anyone the wrong impression and get himself into trouble. He wasn’t cocky, but he knew he was a handsome man and he was really nice, so he just wanted to be sure no lines were ever blurred or that a misunderstanding was even remotely possible. That was honestly his biggest stressor; he had been a bit nervous about actually teaching the students and being able to convey information to them, but as soon as he started doing it he felt comfortable and he understood why so many people loved to contribute to the growth of their profession in this manner. 
************
On her busy days, which were Tuesdays and Wednesdays, Diana’s best friend, Grace, would be the one to get Celeste from school. Diana was lecturing non-stop on Tuesdays and only got an hour break before her final class of the day, which started at 6pm. So now, she was rushing down the street to her favorite cafe on campus, Café Flores. It was a little over a 5 minute walk from where she lectured on Tuesdays, but even if it were out of her way, she would always find an excuse to go. Since most students were at dinner, it was slow at the cafe at that time. She would always order the same thing, the guy at the register smiled when he saw her come in.
“Hey, professor.” He said as she walked up, smiling as well.
“Hi Nico, how’s it been?” She asked.
“It’s slowing down.” He said with a smile and she nodded, “What can I get started for you?” He asked.
“I’m gonna do the 20oz today, café con leche.”
“The usual.” He smiled.
“I sized up, OK?” She said and he chuckled.
“And half & half is OK?”
“Always.” She said and he grinned.
“Anything else?” He asked.
“I’m also going to get the avocado toast.”
“With everything?” He asked.
“Ummm, no crema and no onions.” She said and he recited her order before submitting it and taking her payment. The owners of this cafe were originally from Chiapas, Mexico - the opened this place up in the late seventies and as they grew older their children took it over and it’s such a wonderful atmosphere to be in; it reminded her of being back in Mexico. And this spot was so popular that when the neighboring business relocated they bought it as well and that’s more of the study lounge vibe students are looking for. They were just as, if not a little more popular than the Starbucks across campus. It was really amazing to her how well this business had evolved to continue being around for that long.
“Professor Beltran?” She heard kind of from a distance and as she zoned back in and looked away from the little card with the shop’s story she blinked a few times before turning to her left and looking up to see none other than Dr. Styles who was smiling down at her.
“Oh, hello!” She smiled bright and stood immediately, extending her hand to greet him, “What brings you here?” She asked.
“I teach tonight and ummm, the last two weeks I’ve seen most of my students with cups from here and I thought I should check it out.” He said and she nodded.
“It certainly beats Starbucks.” She said and he grinned.
“Oh, perfect.” He hummed and she nodded, “You teach today as well?”
“Yes, I’ve got three classes today.” She explained and he grimaced and she chuckled.
“I know.” She sighed, “But to be fair this last one is an elective on Latin American art & culture so I don’t do as much talking as I do visual aids.” She said and he chuckled.
“That’s good.”
“It it’s a three hour class though, so I am pretty pooped afterwards but you know about that with the graduate students.” She said and he nodded. She remembered. Harry thought to himself.
“Order for Diana!” The girl at the pick-up station called out.
“Excuse me for a second.” She said to Harry.
“Oh, you can go if you need to, no worries.” He assured.
“I was actually going to stay and eat here, I lecture in the building just around the corner and it starts until 6pm. You’re more than welcome to join me if you’d like.” She said and before he could overthink it he nodded.
“That’d be nice, I still don’t know too many people.” He explained and she nodded.
“Yeah, of course.” She assured and hurried off but came back quickly as Harry was settling into the spot across from her and she was settling in.
“Do you want some?” She asked and he shook his head immediately.
“Oh no, I ordered something as well. But please get started.” He assured and she nodded and went for her toast right away. She finished chewing and hummed.
“Always hits the spot. I haven’t eaten since 11:30.” She disclosed.
“Oh god, I would be a proper grouch if I went that long without eating.” He said and she giggled.
“So you get hangry, I see…so does my teenage daughter.” she teased and he chuckled as he shook his head at her little joke.
“I mean, most people do.” He said and she shrugged her shoulders.
“That’s fair.” She responded and he chuckled again.
“You don’t?” He asked her and she shook her head.
“No. Being a parent often means staving off your own needs for your kids, even hunger. I will admit sometimes I forget to eat-”
“You forget to eat?” He asked in shock and she giggled.
“If I’m really busy. It’s usually during the end of the semester, but I don’t think any of my classes will push me to that this quarter.” She said and he nodded.
“Well good.”
“Yes.” She grinned. Then they called his name and he came back with his own order. He just had a regular black coffee and a capirotada - which is essentially a bread pudding.
“Ooh, good choice.” She said and he glanced up to her.
“Oh yeah? He told me it was like bread pudding.”
“It is! They make it really good here, it’s not too sweet or cinnamon-y, it’s just right.” She said and he nodded.
“Oh good!” I just got this because it looks kind of like a dessert from England and I admittedly got a bit nostalgic.” He explained himself and she smiled; she understood that feeling very well.
“Yeah, I get that.” She nodded, “So have you been in the US long?”
“Yeah, I came over for med school, so I’ve been here about…10 years?” He said, “Oh shit.” He then said lowly as the realization struck him and she laughed lightly as she watched it unfold before her.
“Do you miss England?”
“Some things I miss, but I really like it here. It was a fresh start.” He said and she nodded in understanding.
“Yeah, we need those sometimes.” She acknowledged, “But look at you now, your own practice and everything. Even teaching now!” She said veering the topic into a more positive light and he chuckled bashfully as he reached for his coffee.
“Living the dream.” He said and she quirked her face a bit with a confused smile because she did not miss the sardonic tone in his voice.
“You say that like you’re not convinced of it.” She called him out, which surprised him and he shrugged before he decided that he would explain himself to her.
“It’s just like, you work so hard for something…literally dedicate everything you are and all of your time and resources to it to get there and once you do it’s kind of the feeling of like “that’s it”?. Do you know what I mean?” He asked, an existential crisis was close if they were to continue not he topic of him so he had to turn it around and she hummed pensively at his question.
“Kind of… I mean, I hear med school is…horrific.” She said, “Highest suicide rate, no?” and he nodded.
“Well, three times more likely than our peers.” He corrected her and she frowned, it was still alarming. She had friends who had gone to medical school, a few dropped out because it was too intense, so yeah, maybe he was very valid in feeling like all of that made it out bigger than it needed to be.
“So it is horrific.” She said again an the sighed, smiling bit now despite the morbid topic they had just touched on.
“I love learning and I do love school, maybe that’s why I came back to teach… so ummm, I wouldn’t say it was horrific for me, but definitely challenging…and I don’t know, I was just one of those people that were so focused on school and being excellent in that capacity that I didn’t it as much as I could have or made the good kind of memories with the people around me. Like several of the people in my cohort were married over the last couple years and well, I wasn’t invited because, we were classmates but I didn’t take the time to make them my friends. And just little things like that, that I wish I had valued more at the time.” He explained and she hummed with a small frown, “And well now, yes, I have my practice, but having your own business is very time consuming and it makes it hard to have my own life too, you know? I love what I do, trust me, I would’ve never gone through with med school if I didn’t. I would do It for free! But like there are times in which I wish I didn’t have to answer a phone call of a patient in distress in the middle of a date with my girlfriend. Or have a patient go through that angry at my therapist phase and fear I’ll get sued and lose everything.” He chuckled and she did as well.
“Yeah, wow, that is…intense.” She said and he nodded.
“It is and again, I love to do it and I love to help people, but I’m still new at this so I’m just getting the hang of it. I’m sure I’ll be able to find balance with some time, but it does feel like I never will be able to start living my life sometimes.” He expressed, “Do you ever feel that way? Being a mum? Sorry, if that came out weird, Celeste mentioned that you were quite young.” He tagged in and she shook her head.
“It’s alright,” Diana assured him, “and not really… I don’t feel that I missed out on my youth or anything like that. I wasn’t all that social in college anyway.” She explained and he hummed in understanding, “Kind of also threw myself into the work and well, I had a baby, and well it’s not like I was a 16 year old mom, but being 19 with a baby still makes people look at you differently.” She shrugged and Harry frowned slightly upon hearing this.
“People are dicks.” He said and she smiled at his lame attempt to comfort her after what she had shared, but it wasn’t necessary, that had stopped bothering her a long, long time ago, “And Celeste’s dad? You guys were young, how does he feel about that?” He asked and Diana suddenly looked down at her coffee cup before clearing her throat and glancing into his eyes.
“Ummm…h-how’re you liking teaching?” She changed the subject all together, so fast and abruptly that Harry just went along with it, barely even noticing that his previous question had been completely ignored.
“It’s been great! I was dying of nerves beforehand but as soon as I got up there it just felt amazing to know that I could share what I knew like that. It’s made me fall in love with my profession even more.” He admitted and she smiled.
“Yeah, that happens to all the great teachers I know, at least.” She shrugged and he smiled before digging into his capirotada. He moaned in satisfaction at the taste of the dessert.
“OK, that’s phenomenal.” He said after he swallowed down the bite he took.
“Oh yeah, it’s a classic.” She agreed and he hummed.
“I can see why.” He acknowledged. 
They continued to talk a little bit more, though he noticed that after he had brought up Celeste’s dad the topic stayed more at the professional level as she discussed teaching and the university, and curriculum designs. He felt bad for bringing that up, but he was curious as Celeste had talked about her dad, but very briefly and he had meant to ask more questions, but then they progressed to something else in the session and he just wanted to know more about their family unit - maybe she wasn’t married like he initially assumed. Either way, after the reaction she had, he felt like he needed to apologize for it, but it seemed that just changing the topic was enough for her. Just as he was about to ask her something else her phone started ringing and she glanced down to it.
“And that’s my 15 minute timer!” She announced and his eyes widened.
“Already?”
“Yeah.” She giggled, “Time flies when you’re having fun!” She exclaimed and he grinned.
“I guess so. I should probably head out too, I’m lecturing further than you are and I walked too.” He said and she nodded.
“Then yeah, you should.” She agreed as she stuffed the last bite of her toast in her mouth and they both stood to clean up their table a bit and gather their things. “Well, it was nice running into you. I hope your class goes well.” She smiled and he nodded.
“Yeah, yours too.”  He returned her well-wishes and then they both made their way out only to realize that he had fallen a few steps behind her as they were heading in the same direction, “I’m not following you, I swear.” He said and she laughed; she had a pretty laugh. “You’re fine.” She assured him.
“Well, while we’re going in the same direction I guess I have a sort of question about something.” He said hurrying up to match her pace and she nodded, “So in my field, it’s a female-dominant one and ummm, obviously, my class is mostly women, there are 2 or 3 guys in it, but ummm, some of the women are-”
“Oddly friendly?” She grinned up at him in question and he smiled, a cute dimply one that made her heart race in a way it hadn’t in a long time.
“Yeah, ummm, to put it nicely.” He confirmed bashfully, “I just don’t want to accidentally miscommunicate things or give the wrong impression. And I can’t deal with it as a therapist because it’s a different scenario. In therapy we just tend to confront it directly and I don’t know it that’s the best approach here too? I do notice some of them looking at me in certain ways or just being a little flirtatious with me and I don’t know… I just don’t want to mess something up. Is that something you’ve dealt with?” He asked and she nodded.
“Oh yeah, being a young professor comes with unique challenges and ummm, yeah, some of my students have put me in a position like that too and I learned that when you directly confront it they immediately deny it and then make you feel like you’re being a cocky asshole or presumptuous, which also sucks.” She sighed, “H-have you ever had a client do that to you?” She asked and he nodded.
“Once or twice, but I was still a resident and like working in my fellowship at the time so I had a lot more help to navigate that.” He explained and she nodded, “I just got switched to another rotation, it was in a psych ward so it wasn’t like I was the clinician, it was more 51-50 situations, so I was just providing the meds while we were allowed to hold them.” He explained and she nodded.
“OK, so yeah, in this scenario, if they flirt or hint at liking you just act normal, don’t acknowledge the flirtations and advances if they’re very subtle, keep it professional, set the boundary with your response. But if they start to come on stronger or in more obvious  and bold advances, like I once had a student ask me if we could go out after the class was over and I wasn’t his professor anymore. Or if they bring you gifts,” She shared, “then you can be more stern in reminding them of the boundary. I know with graduate students it’s a little different as they are full-fledged adults,” she said, “but if there are students who just seek you out without reason or are just trying to get close to you, obviously try to keep those interactions documented. So if they want to see you try to keep it over email or zoom, document meetings and appointments on your calendar, things like that. We often think that we need to not have any evidence, but paper trails are your best friend if you’re not a sketchy person!” She explained.
“OK, that is the best advice I have ever received.” He smiled and she nodded.
“I came up with that one myself.” She grinned with pride and he chuckled, “Here’s a suggestion, I don’t know if you’ll need it for your courses, but I make a calendar for my office hours for each class and add all of my students to it, they can then book their own appointments, but everyone else who is in the class sees, kind of like a virtual sign-up sheet. In my experience it dissuades those students who are just coming by to “say hi”, as they like to say.” She said and he hummed, “That is time consuming though, so if anything just try not to let them catch you alone, causally bring up you’re in a relationship, stuff like that.” She smiled. 
“OK. Yeah, I just don’t want them to take it too far and I have to do something more serious about it, you know? Like I get having crushes on your teacher, in Med school I had this o-chem professor who was so attractive, I was one of his best students and he was like a genius, he was about my age now and I knew that he kind of liked me too. There was this unspoken tension that we both just…lived with for that entire semester, but he never said anything about it. He just let it be and then after I finished his class he just kind of never spoke to me again. I didn’t take offense to it, I know that once a line like that is crossed it just makes it easier for it to happen again. But it’s hard being a sapiosexual while running in academic circles.” He said with a breathy chuckle and she nodded as she started to slow down.
“Oh definitely, I’m with you on that one!” She giggled in agreement, she was a fellow sapiosexual and knew all about that on her own, “But I think he was smart about how he dealt, your professor.” She said and he nodded, “So yeah, just be nice about it, don’t make the student feel awkward about it if it’s just a crush. And well I’m sure the magic’ll wear off after midterms.” She joked and he laughed as they came to a stop in front of a large lecture hall.
“Most likely.” He chuckled, “This you?” He asked and she nodded.
“Yep! Well, Dr. Styles it was lovely running into you.” She said again.
“Likewise, Professor Beltran. And please, s’just Harry.” He insisted once more and she smiled and nodded.
“Right. Well, I’m just Diana too, so umm yeah. I’ll uh-see you around. Have a good night.” She bid him farewell.
“You too!” He called after her before he continued walking towards his class with his heart racing a bit more than it ought to. But he was walking at a relatively quick speed and he’d just had a plain coffee with an extra espresso shot, so it was likely that his heart was reacting to just that. It was ironic really, the conversation they had just had. He had too many questions for and about her and his interest was piqued after this. All he knew was that the next time he went by the cafe he would be taking his order to-go, he couldn’t sit with her like this again.
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