#let alone actually give us credit for what you *do* engage with

[mangoazalea]

please let the Black people in your life know you like, care about them

[duchessofostergotlands]

Leonor is putting an impressive number of engagements before getting in the navy. In a way I wish more European royals would feel the pressure the Spanish do, because it’s embarrassing to see a teenager work more than actual monarchs and constistently giving more relevant speeches than middle aged people. It’s actually good for these privileged people to know their position is not set in stone.

I was going to go into depth about why you shouldn't compare families etc but let's just fact check this first. The only family that has an official, public record of engagements is the Brits (one of the many many reasons you don't compare wildly different situations) so the best you can do with other royal families is use their website. As far as I can tell from Casa Real Leonor has done 9 engagements this year. You state that she's doing "more than actual monarchs" and I'd love to know which monarchs have done less than 9 engagements since January because I can't think of any. Harald did more than that in June alone and he's 87 and just had a pacemaker implanted lol.

I also find the statement that she is "constistently giving more relevant speeches than middle aged people" to be odd. Relevant means appropriate. We're not the intended audience for the vast majority of speeches so unless unless it's egregious - like talking exclusively about Botswana during a visit to Hungary - how can we judge what's more or less relevant? We can say if we liked the speeches or not, sure. You could say if it's relevant to you and your life (for example I don't enjoy military related speeches because I'm not a fan of the military so it isn't relevant to me personally). But I'm not a German politician or a business person from Japan, how would I know what's relevant to them if they're the kind of intended audience, which they generally are for older royals compared to the young royals whose speeches tend to be aimed at the general public through events like National Days or birthdays? What exact passages in Leonor's speeches make them more relevant than those given by older people?

None of this is in any way a criticism of Leonor. I'm not Spanish but as an outsider she seems like a kind, intelligent, confident, mature young woman and a credit to her parents. Again, as an outsider, I'd say she's doing an excellent job. But it's totally unfair to use her to put down people in vastly different circumstances using inaccurate information and criticisms neither you nor I are actually qualified to make. The next generation are coming into their own and we have the chance to make sure they become leaders who are recognised for their own strengths and criticised for their own failings.

Of course royals need to know that their position is determined by us, the people. But if I've learned anything from our WW2 and abdication episodes of the podcast it's that the most successful royals are those who are motivated by a recognition that their job is an honour and they have a responsibility to the public, not those who are scared of losing their ponies.

[gunilslaugh]

Hi! I'm so happy to see your requests open again. I hope you're doing okay dear 💜

Can I please request another part of Xdinary Heroes as your older brothers and you're dating another member? Let's say there was a time skip (like maybe 3-6 years) and you and the member are about to get married or/and you expect a child?

Take care and drink a lot of water 💜

Thank you! I hope that you are doing ok too! 💜

This is kinda a part 2 to Wait, You're Dating My Member, so there are references to it, but it still can be read as a stand alone :)

All members (U ~ U)

Summary: It’s been six years since you started dating your brother’s bandmate, Xdinary Heroes, now you two are getting married/having a child.

WC:~1.2k

Warning:none 

photo not mine credits to owner.

Gunil

“I can’t believe my bandmate and sibling are getting married,” Gunil cooed whilst looking at the engagement rings on yours and Jungsu’s hands. 

“I mean we’ve only been dating for six years,” you remarked. 

“Yeah.” Jungsu intertwines his hand with yours. “He’s taking our engagement better than when we told him we were dating though. Remember he just stared at us not saying anything,” Jungsu chuckles recalling the memory. 

“That’s right we thought that we broke him,” you laughed too. 

“Because I never saw the two of you dating coming. I didn’t think that it was a possibility, but I’m really happy for you both,” Gunil says. You and Jungsu tying the knot makes Gunil feel really sentimental. He finds it a bit crazy that his member is becoming his brother in law, but likes it nonetheless. He feels elated that he is there to witness yours and Jungsu’s love story unfold. 

“So I get to be the best man right?” Gunil quirked while folding his arms.

“Actually we were thinking maybe Seung-” You began to tease.

“Yah!” Gunil cut you off.

“Yes, you’re going to be my best man,” Jungsu told him.

“As I should be,” Gunil hummed happily.

Jungsu

“And I was worried that the two of you would breakup. Now you’re married with a kid. Jungsu mused as he watched you holding your newly born child in your arms with Gunil holding you in a back hug, head peeking over your shoulder to admire your guys’ child.

“That’s right you kept askinging us if we were sure,” you noted, recalling the past. 

“Yeah I also said to not act couple-ly in front of me.” He shot the both of you a playful glare, but Gunil only held you closer. 

“You think that we’re cute don’t lie,” you sassed him. He does, but he will never admit it, out loud, so he rolls his eyes at you. “As if.” “You two did make a cute kid though,” he says coming up to boops your twos’ child’s nose. “I can’ believe I’m finally an uncle,” he adds. Jungsu was excited to be uncle, he had been waiting for it. He often asked after you and Gunil got married when you were gonna make him an uncle. He sounded like your parents asking for a grandkid.

“Yeah, well when are you gonna give our kid a cousin?” you played. Jungsu blushed, averting his eyes.

“Eventually,” he murmured.

Gaon/Jiseok

“I guess I can’t steal him from you now,” Jiseok told you at your wedding reception. 

“The papers aren’t filed just yet,” Seungmin jokes. 

“Aye!” You smacked Seungmin, your newly wedded husband, in the chest. 

“You know I’m just joking.” Seungmin pulls you into his side and presses a kiss to the crown of your head. 

“Gross,” Jiseok muttered, but he secretly finds it adorable. Since he’s your brother he doesn’t want to tell you how glad he actually is that you and Seungmin have each other. He thinks that the two of you make a really good pair. What you still don’t know is that when he first found out about you crushing on Seungmin six years ago he immediately rushed to tell Seungmin about it. Why? Because Seungmin had told him right after you left on the day he first introduced you two that he was interested in you. Jiseok actually played cupid to get you and Seungmin together. He feels like a very successful cupid now as he watched you and Seungmin cut your wedding cake. Maybe one day he’ll tell you the truth or maybe he won’t. All he knows is that he’s very happy that you and Seunngmin are together.

O.de/Seungmin

“Here we got a gift for you?” You handed Seungmin a bag before sitting beside Hyeongjun, your husband, on the couch.

“What’s the occasion?” Seungmin questioned, looking at the bag. 

“Just open it,” Hyeongjun told him. Seungmin listened, opening the bag to see a folded shirt. He took it out of the bag, letting it unfold.

“World’s Best Uncle,” he read out the words on the shirt. It took him a few moments to register what it meant. “U-Uncle?” he repeated. “I’m gonna be an uncle?” he asked with wide eyes. 

“Yes, I’m pregnant,” you revealed, placing a hand over your stomach. Seungmin jumped up from where he sat to engulf you and Hyeongjun in a hug. 

“Congratulations,” he told you both sincerely. 

“Thank you,” you each said. 

“How far along are you?” Seungmin asked.

“Almost three months,” you replied. Seungmin’s heart was filled with warmth at the news. 

“And I was worried about you hurting Hyeongjun,” he chuckled.

“Even threatened me about it.” You playfully shook your head.

“That really weirded me out,” Hyeongjun noted. 

“Y’know we both like you more than each other, but who do you like more, Hyeongjun?” Seungmin pressed. Hyeongjun smiled smartly.

“My child,” he answered, putting a hand on your belly.

Junhan/Hyeongjun

“I can’t believe you're marrying y/n tomorrow,” Hyeonjun tells Jooyeon.

“Why? Didn’t think that we would last?” Jooyeon said jokingly.

“It’s not that. You two were just such an unexpected pairing to me. Now we’re about to be in-laws,” Hyeongjun explained. Jooyeon laughed loudly.

“What can I say I’m hopelessly in love with y/n. I really care about them,” Jooyeon states. 

“I know you do. Seeing you step up to care for y/n made me see you a bit more maturely you know? As our maknae we always babied you,” Hyeongjun chuckled lightly. 

“You guys still baby me,”Jooyeon grumbled. “But thank you. I promise I’m gonna take the best care of y/n for the rest of my life,” he swore. 

“You better,” Hyeongjun lightly threatened him. 

The next day Hyeongjun tried to hold back his tears as he saw you walk down the aisle to meet Jooyeon. Yes you two were an unexpected pairing to him, but now he thinks that you are the perfect pair for one another. As long as you both are happy and he knows that you are, he couldn’t be more elated about you marrying his member.

Jooyeon

“Aww, you are such a precious little nugget,” Jooyeon coos at yours and Jiseok’s child as they wrapped their tiny hand around his thumb.

“Jooyeon please stop referring to our child as a nugget,” you sighed. 

“What? No! They are the third nugget of Nugget Time. I have to call them a nugget,” Jooyeon insisted. You send your husband, Jiseok, a pleading look. 

“The nugget has a name and it’s c/n,” Jiseok said, patting Jooyeon on the shoulder. Whispering a small “Just don’t call them a nugget when y/n is around” into Jooyeon’s ear. You heard the whole thing but rolled your eyes, but decided to leave them be. You cherished the bond between your brother and husband. Jooyeon cherished the bond between you and his bandmate too. Your baby started to get a bit fussy, so you were quick to take them into your nurturing arms. Jiseok too was quick to join you at your side in comforting your twos’ child.

“My sibling and my member really got married and even have a child now. I guess it really is a small world,” Jooyeon spoke recalling the words Jiseok said when he asked about why out of all people you two had to date each other. Now couldn’t be more glad about it.

[warden-melli]

So we know how big Melli is right? Well that just means that he has to eat either more or equal to what his stuntank eats. Also I think that Melli has burn scars/current burns due to working with things that will explode any minute and a ball of electricity that will shock him at any given moment that he disappoints it. Electric burn scars/fresh ones and straight(not in Melli's case) up burn scars from the explosions. I think that he hides them so that no one will see, which is why he's always covering up.

I’ve often thought about how expensive Melli would be to feed lol, especially in a place where food isn’t as easy to acquire and prepare like in modern times

And yes! Love this headcanon! I have very similar one actually. I think it would be pretty easy to look at a character like Melli and come to the conclusion that he’d be the type of person who wouldn’t like to get his hands dirty or put himself in any danger, but I disagree. He may appear foppish, but there’s many canon details that let us know that he’s not afraid of danger or physical exertion

To even perform his duties as warden, Melli must first frequently climb Mt Coronet, an extremely large and dangerous mountain, populated by extremely powerful and aggressive wild pokemon. Then after finally arriving at the hollow he has arguably the most dangerous job of any warden, taking care of Lord Electrode. Like you pointed out, out of all of the noble pokemon, Electrode is by far the most volatile. It’s also not alone up there, as we know it lives with a colony of voltorb too, so (again like you said) I think it would be extremely unlikely for him NOT to be scarred or burned in some capacity, wether that’s from just living in a wild place like Hisui, travelling up the mountain to perform his duties, or taking care of Lord Electrode itself, among other things. We also know he’s not scared of physical confrontation (he overpowered the security corps to get into the meeting) and he doesn’t shy away from battles either, choosing to investigate the mass outbreaks on his own. Melli seems to be in situations frequently where injuries seem extremely likely. I also think due to the frequent mountain climbing and the physically demanding job that is looking after lord Electrode, that Melli is likely more muscular and physically fit than most people would give him credit for, especially given his slim build and aesthetic.

I think the idea of him covering up to hide scars is an interesting one, but I’m not too sure Melli isn’t just freezing cold from working high up on a snow capped mountain lol. Apart from wearing his hood (which we do get to see down in the offical art book) he’s no more covered than most other wardens, and Hisui overall has quite a cool climate. It’s an interesting idea to explore though! I personally think it would be very interesting in that situation for him to hide scars not necessarily because he doesn’t like the look of them aesthetically, but because he’s worried that someone may see the scars and interpret that as a sign of a past failure, something that would be unbearable for someone who’s main goal in life is to be useful to his clan and it’s leader. Like, how great must the great Melli truly be if he allowed himself to become so carelessly injured in the line of duty? In reality I think it would be an irrational anxiety, and that they (scars) wouldn’t reflect poorly on his performance as warden at all, instead being a sign that he was actively engaging in his duties. To an insecure character like Melli whose image is an extremely curated defence used to mask his true shy/timid nature, any perceived threat to that persona would be very hard to manage, and I could see him going to the lengths of hiding his injuries in order to maintain his image. It’s a super interesting headcanon to think about, so thank you so much for sharing!

Oh btw have you ever heard of a Lichtenberg scar (caused after being struck by lightning)? Irl these don’t tend to be permanent, but I could absolutely see him having these after so much time working with dangerous electric type pokemon

(pic under the cut. It’s not graphic at all, just wanted to be safe)

[maniacwatchestheworld]

Man... I just LOVE watching the DPxDC community do their thing. I like them and just want to examine you all under a microscope because I find you all so very interesting! It's just absolutely TRAGIC that I have yet to find any storyline or AU that tickles my specific fancy, personally...

I acknowledge that this is purely a me problem and not a community problem 120%! The stuff that I just enjoy about Batman and Danny Phantom are just not things that the community are interested in as a whole and that's perfectly fine! But it does make me feel like a pure outsider when I wish that I could actually more earnestly engage with the community itself from within. Just... Siiiiiigh! And I just have not been able to think up anything to make the two verses blend together in a way that would be personally satisfying to me specifically!

Have some of my personal winging under the cut! No hate. Just explaining my tastes and yearning.

Absolutely no shade! All the more power to you for writing stories with these tropes and features! But I personally am not particularly interested in batfamily drama, and I see the kids in the batfamily as the children that they used to be in many ways. So stories about the batfamily don't interest me a whole lot, and I'm just not invested in shipping them with anyone (I'm also ace, so I really don't get pretty much anything out of batfamily romance) as a whole. What I like about Batman is that his stories are largely mysteries. I like the atmosphere and I absolutely ADORE the rogues! I like seeing the crimes and Batman clashing with his rogues, and most of all I LOVE the heart-wrenching DRAMA between Bruce and Harvey as Bruce DESPERATELY does everything he possibly can to save his best friend, while Harvey slips further and further into a hell that he wishes that he could climb out of but is just unable to alone! Harvey is just my absolute favorite and the sheer tragedy of his character has a tight grip around my heart that will not let go! Meanwhile with Danny Phantom, what I like about it... Well... I just think that Vlad is neat! There is also a certain tragedy to him as well, but he's also just a pathetic loser which is hilarious to me! Like, so often he comes off as so slick and cool and threatening... But also he's a loser and a goober. I also just love seeing how much of a simp Jack is for him. And I just like how redemption is always just barely in sight for Vlad... He just has to honestly reach out and grab it, but he just isn't willing to right now. Also ghost powers are neat and unique and I enjoy the unique possibilities and aesthetics of it. But sadly for me, these just aren't things that the DPxDC community is interested in. And that's perfectly fine, but it does make me yearn. Like there are interesting parallels to explore between Harvey and Vlad for sure! But I have no idea how to explore them in any interesting ways at all! Also I am just the kind of person who very much dislikes stories about destiny and stuff like that. So AUs like the twin demons or Ghost King!Danny just have absolutely no appeal to me. I'm just not interested in the inevitability that a lot of storytellers in this space have that Danny WILL join the batfamily. Also it feels disappointing to me whenever a writer just doesn't give the DC the credit that they deserve. It feels like people just want Danny to be super ultra overpowered, even more so than the super ultra overpowered characters that DC already has without exploring how these different things interact. Feels like people are more interested in erasing DC canon to make way for their Danny Phantom fanon instead of letting both things be true as is the usual DC way. Again, there's nothing wrong with doing that, but it just leaves me wanting. Also I really don't particularly like nor care about Ra's or Talia as far a rogues go, so only seeing them getting included in these things is just disappointing.

Lays down. Like, I don't want to sound like I'm hating on the community. I honestly am not. I'm just bellyaching because I am in this enclosure and am not receiving good enough stimulation in this space. It just feels like... It's a hot day, and I am REALLY craving some ice cream right now! But this ice cream shop only has 4 flavors and I quite dislike them all. I'm not angry at people for liking these 4 flavors. And this place is just SO CLOSE to being something I like! I enjoy the decor, the location is really nice and convenient for me. But alls I can do in just stare in the window and watch everyone else enjoying themselves while I bake in the sun. I admit that this is purely a me problem and not a community problem but it's just a bummer, y'know? Flops.

[nightswithkookmin]

Okay I'm finally ready to move on from this.

I have been blogging about almost every concept Jimin drops but I have been reluctant to share it because it's just missing a vital piece of myself. Usually when I write, I enjoy what I write and every feeling and emotion I express is real and authentic. So imagine me trying to write something fun and positive while feeling like crap within?

I'm grateful for every single one of you. My instinct was to disengage and disconnect but talking to yall and seeing your attempts to cheer me up- cheered me up. Lol. I don't know why I thought avoiding people and dealing with things on my own was the only way to cope. yalls way equally works too. Works better I'd say.

Thanks for not pushing though and having the grace to let me be when I needed to be alone and not punishing me when I returned to talk to yall.

This is new to me. Well not new new, I do that for others it's just people don't do that for me very often so I don't bother to make friends at all. I'll give and not bother to take nothing. I love you guys for this

I won't feed into the negative. As I said OP isn't the first or last person to pull a stunt like this. I'm aware of others. I don't say anything about those because I can tell from the manner in which they engage with my content they simply just want to amplify my voice and my words.

To such people it's not about me or them, it's about Jimin. Jimin is at the center of their thoughts and actions. Some even say in their posts, I wish Jimin could see this message. And while they fail to credit me for whatever reason, I still feel my work is honored and respected because it is being used the way I intended it to be used.

I don't write these word for no body but Park Jimin. He is the one I adore, he is the one I extol. And if you are going to borrow my words to extol him and honor him then I don't think it matters of you credit me or not. We are all just fans of the same man. We can lend our voices to each other.

Taehyung sees Army's posts and art about Jimin and he saves them and shows them to Jimin. He wants jimin to know people love you, people support you and I think that is truly encouraging for JM himself. There is a while trail of moons on JM's back because Tae chose to amplify someone's fanart.

Jimin does the same thing with Jungkook when people mention him in his lives. He wants Jungkook to know he is being loved on and that I feel motivates and encourages Jungkook.

But for you to take words that are not yours and present them as yours implies you want to be centered and credited for those words. Which invariably means it's not about Jimin or the writer behind those words, it's about you and your need for attention and I find that dishonorable.

It's even more bizarre and disconcerting when you feel you have to go out of your way to deplatform the original creator in order to center yourself.

This is the problem I grapple with in this community. People are constantly trying to deplatform me and claim authorship of my work at the same damn time. And they do this by deliberately concocting lies, stories, misconstruing my thoughts and my words, taking things out of context and massacring my reputation.

It's always, look she said this about Jimin. She hates Jimin. She shades jikook. She is an anti. I hate her guts because she is not an actual fan of the boys. Yall should hate her too. She's creepy. She's the end of days.

So when such people see something they know go against their rhetorics and narratives about me they try to either suppress by discouraging people from engaging with it while they turn around and steal those words as their own to make themselves look good.

And they are not vilifying me because they genuinely believe I'm bad or that I hate these boys. No. They only do it to elevate themselves. Someone has to be bad so they can be good.

It's always, she's bad don't follow her, but look I'm good and nonproblematic and you should follow me not her.

Jealousy is a disease and I won't call anyone jealous.

But also,

I remember, I used to be friends with some people before Tumblr and they are quite "big jikook" accounts. Well some have left the Fandom but still. We would talk about Jikook nonstop and we'd discuss moments and scenes i loved and I'd always tell them, this happened here that happened there and they would download the video and make edits based on my suggestions and share them.

I knew nothing about video editing- still don't, and frankly I don't care to learn. I love writing more.

But when they learned I was doing Tumblr, they turned on me quick. Suddenly they were the ones trying debunk my theories, and when they couldn't they would create their own versions of the videos I had already made or actively try to suppress my content by disparaging me and making up stories.

Suddenly it was, she's trying to compete, she's trying to take z away from us. It was an unending cycle till eventually I stopped making my own videos- well I still make them I just don't share them🥴

There's a popular jikook account who even told me blog analysis are unneeded and that what they did was better than mine because they were providing "actual evidence" and not just opinions and assumptions etc.

And yes they said it to my face as friendly advice😆

Same advice I heard from people who thought I shouldn't be pointing out Jikooks "ground breaking scenes" because it makes me come off creepy🙂

They would rather I told them so they made the edits on their accounts cos they "love me and hate to see me get hated on" out here ☹

Okay besties, and while you're at it why don't you fuck my girlfriend for me cos rubbing vaginas together is really breaking my back👉🏾👈🏾

The elitism in this community is real and they don't like to hear it but gag me and I'll shout it out of my ass

Creators in this space can be very competitive and often envious of others and they try to weaponize their platforms to take out anyone they deem a threat to their delusional high ranks in the-- who-gives-a-fuck-Karen- it's-not-that-deep-sit-down

When you hear them talk about "young impressionable minds" that's when you know they've gone and filled their bellies full of themselves.

Anywho, my reaction was not just because some random person stole my whole blog and made it theirs. It was more a trauma response to the constant vitriol, vilification, malicious attempts at deplatforming me, the constant micro and macro aggressions and the vicious gruesome mental attacks I endure out here.

But I'm good. ✌

[battlegroundofdreams]

3

Training continues...

The next several hours were spent practicing different fighting styles and learning how to work together.  Much to Morpheus’ surprise, Melinoe was a very skilled fighter and far stronger than he would have given her credit for based on looks alone.   In the end Melinoe was having to admit to herself that Morpheus might have earned some of his reputation honestly, and that, while she still wasn’t going to put up with his ego, he was that good.  She’d almost say he was as good as she was.  

Then it came time for weapons training, and neither of them truly trusted the other to engage with actual bladed weapons, so they did agree that for the time being, they would use practice weapons.  Trust, after all, was earned through working together.  Until they were used to one another, there was the possibility of accidents, and neither of them particularly wanted to lose their head or a limb due to a slip.  Once they were more comfortable, then the real weapons could come out.

Again, to his surprise, Melinoe not only held her own but bested him more than once.  If he was going to have to have a partner, then she was definitely someone he would pick to fill that position.  For her part, Melinoe was getting through that ego and exterior of Morpheus and finding him easier to stand than she had anticipated.  Whether it was because they weren’t as unevenly matched as he had anticipated or there was something else at play, she wasn’t sure, but she was glad for whatever it was.  

“Before we move on to actual weapons, I have to admit that I’ve been holding back on something.”  Melinoe had been trying to gauge when the right time to reveal her secret weapon was, and this seemed as good a time as any.  While she was skilled, there was one other thing that helped her when hunting nightmares.  Stowing a dagger inconspicuously, she once more faced off against Morpheus.  “See if you can take me down this time.”  With a wink, the fight was on again.

“Really?  Is this where you take off clothing and flirt?” Morpheus highly doubted it was, but he had now been up close and personal with the svelte brunette enough that he wouldn’t have complained too loudly if she had.  His brow was raised as he waited for her to answer.  She was giving him a run for his money, so what more she could have unleashed, yet hadn’t, did interest him.  

Her eyes rolled, and she scoffed, “in your dreams, Morpheus.  And, only there, is that going to happen, might I add.”  She shook her head and laughed.  “No, I have a nifty little trick.  See, I was born while my mother was in a dream due to the battle she was engaged in.  The dreamer, they left me with this.”  A smirk forming on her lips, she raised one hand and snapped.  

At first Morpheus wasn’t sure if he was supposed to notice something and then his eyes went wide as he did.  “How are you doing that?”  His eyes again looked around the room that now matched the inside of his living room.  It had taken him a moment to realize what she’d done because he’d been so focused on her.  Now he wasn’t sure if he should be impressed or disturbed.

“When you are born within a dream, the dreamer can give you extra powers apparently.  Mine is to cast illusions.  The dreamer bestowed it so that the nightmare wouldn’t see me.  I was born within the nightmare of a six year old, I can’t really complain with her choice of gifts.  Kept her and I safe till my parents defeated the nightmare monster.”  Melinoe let the illusion fall.  “It’s also what has allowed me to go after nightmares far more powerful than I am.  You can see I can hold my own even without it, but it has helped when on my own.”

Morpheus had to hand it to her, Melinoe could have kept that ace up her sleeve, but she had revealed it to him.  It was the first sign of trust and he knew better than to throw it in her face or belittle it.  Since there was no way for them to get out of the partnership, he might as well be thankful that she was on his side than able to use that trick against him.

“I have a feeling that may come in useful in the future for us.  Even with two of us, distraction and misdirection is never a bad thing when your life is on the line.  Thank you for trusting me with that knowledge.”  He inclined his head towards her.

“If we’re going to keep one another alive, always good to know one another’s strengths.  And that is one that I won’t factor into our sparring.  I don’t see the benefit in it, unless you do.”  Melinoe had considered surprising him with it, but decided that might be one surprise not to be revealed in the middle of sparring or battle.  Sometimes pissing off your partner was the absolute last thing you wanted to do.  Knowing Morpheus’ temperament already, with him it was definitely better to not keep anything back from him.

“Agreed. How about we get weapons training started before the higher ups come and grab us for that meeting.  I’m sure that neither of us want to deal with them in a bad mood.”  He smirked as he flipped a blade out of his bag and sheathed it in a discreet location.  He had no doubt that Melinoe was once more going to give him a run for his money, and if neither of them walked away without a few bandages it would be a miracle.  At least neither of them would probably need stitches, which would be a first for someone sparring with him.

[the1975attheirverybest]

hes just being messy, he was with meredith in la last wednesday and then now is like very public with gab. i actually feel pretty bad for meredith, the unfollow makes me think she thought they were more serious than they were. i dont think dating casually is a crime but all parties should at least be on the same page 😕 (no need to post this just telling you)

I’m very confused by all this and I guess y’all really don’t understand boundaries, respect, or consent. But since I’ve deleted just about 40 asks about this in the past 48 hours or so, fine. I guess we are talking about this. (Not directed at you alone or anything just my general feelings on the subject and on the fandom.) you wanna talk about Matty’s love life? Let’s talk about it.

Matty is 34 years old. Which means he’s well above the legal age of consent and, yeah, god help him, as a cis straight man, he do be acting like an absolute child sometimes, BUT it’s his life. His decisions to make.

From everything that we know about him, and especially after the ENTIRE FUCKIN WORLD turned against him over the summer, he is a lot more kind, compassionate, smart, self-aware, gentle, and pure-hearted than anyone’s ever given him credit for. Even his own fans. Say what you will about Matty Healy, but if it were me, in his shoes, I’d feel more than entitled to be Turner bitter towards the public what with the way we all (yes, we, as his fans too) have been treating him. But NOPE. Matty is a way bigger person than most of us. He didn’t say a damn thing. He kept his mouth shut and his head down and he did what he needed to do, he never let any of it deter him from being vulnerable and honest with us and putting on the best fuckin show that he could possible put on every fuckin night.

If that doesn’t earn him the benefit of the doubt then I don’t know what will.

I’m not sure why or when some of us have decided that it is our place to observe what goes on in his love life, to monitor his following/followers lists, to draw conclusions based on those numbers, or to consume public glimpses of his interior life as if it’s some tv show or movie or reality tv, even when those images are taken without his consent, and decide Meredith is not “marriage material” or Gabriette has “an aesthetic that I can finally get behind” (which, by the way, is a very sexist and disgusting thing to say about them as well as Matty, but I guess this fandom is hypocritical and will turn against its own values as soon as Matty Healy’s dick is involved), but at some point apparently that happened and we started to treat him as less than human.

Fine, fine, I’ll even give you that much. Be sexist. Be judgmental and creepy and all up his ass. But to do all that and then “feel sorry for Meredith” call him a “mess”??? When you LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM?!!!!! How do know she thought it was more serious than it is??? Were you there??? Since we’re making judgements and assumptions based on the tiny fragments that we see, I’m gonna go ahead and make a judgment of my own and say since I didn’t see you in the middle holding one of his hands and one of hers, then you weren’t there. So why do you feel qualified to talk about what he may or may not have done??? Do you know him? Is he your bestie???? Did he confide in you??? Hmm? Fuckin tell me!!!!

To summarize: he’s a form of entertainment to you. You don’t care about his boundaries. And you have such a low opinion of him that (despite him proving in what is objectively one of the worst things to happen to a public figure, that he’s endlessly graceful and kind) you will comfortably assume the worst of him without A SHRED OF ANYTHING REMOTELY RESEMBLING EVIDENCE. So….why are you a fan? Hmm? Why do you feel comfortable supporting someone you think so little or and have no respect for as a human being?

If any of you really think “he deserve love” and “he deserves companionship.” Then you’d shut the fuck up, stop engaging with content that commodities and dehumanizes him, and mind your fuckin business for fucks sakes.

I mean, how would you like it if, based on a 7 second story on Instagram, or a tweet you made about your personal life or whatever, I (somehow who knows absolutely nothing about you) came up to you and was like “omg I noticed so and so has unfollowed you. Then two days later you posted a pic with this other person. You must have really crushed someone’s heart and led them on making them believe you were more serious than you actually were. And now you’re using this other person who appeared in a picture with you. That is concerning behavior my friend.” If you’re okay with me doing that to you then you and I must live wildly different realities.

[aerodaltonimperial]

things you said when we were on top of the world

(🔮🍑 / 💚���)

She had thought herself over it; truly, she had. But the tendrils of jealousy claw their way across her skin, leaving red welts across her heart, and no. She wasn't after all. She waits until the crowd has dissipated, until the congratulations have ceased, and then she leaves, in the shadows, in the darkness that is, nowadays, her only friend. She steals through the halls like a thief until she reaches the rickety metal ladder up to the rafters, and while she hates this space, hates the unsteadiness of it all, this is the only place that Julia knows she will find one who understands.

She wants to cry. She wants to cry, and she nearly does, for the heat is prickling inside her eyes and snaking down her neck. Of all the things. Of all the times...yet here she is, alone. The jubilation has faded, but Julia’s agony has not, and she suspects it never will.

Her boots ring on the metal, an echo. She grips the railings with great care, for she is unsteady enough right now that one wrong move could topple her. And then she walks along the rafters until she finds him, sitting against the side with his hands folded over his legs. He doesn't look up when she approaches. Maybe he knew she would come. She thinks she has not often given him enough credit.

Julia leans against the railing and sinks down, a position very much like the one he has not moved from. "Did you see—"

"Yeah."

Julia sucks in a long breath, and it burns, the smoldering embers of everything she should have said and never did. "They seem happy."

A beat. And then, lower, ragged: "Yeah."

There are things Julia should be doing. Wallowing in her misery is not helping anyone; it's her own fault, for never coming clean. She allowed the situation to drift, and she didn't see the shipwreck coming. Perhaps she should have. After all, they have been together for several years. Perhaps there was nothing she could have done to prevent this.

"Did you ever say anything?" she asks, nearly a whisper. "Did you ever...?"

"No."

They are the same then. It does not actually alleviate any of the pressure twisting 'round her heart. Two lonely people, high above the empty arena; two desperate hearts that never found the courage to confess.

Oh, if only they had summoned the necessary moxy, then maybe they wouldn't be sitting here, a matched pair of misery.

"What do we do?" she asks.

"Nothing," Darby says, bitter and biting. "There's nothing to do."

"But I can't just—"

"Let it go," he demands. He stands, fingers curled over the rail for leverage. When she looks up at him, his expression is hard. Defensive. He's always been so good at defending his heart, but isn't that what got them here in the first place? "They're getting married, Julia. Let it go."

He leaves, and Julia stays.

She does not think she can let it go. The vines are too tightly enveloping her lungs, siphoning the love out drip by drip by drip.

++

Its 1 am when the knock sounds on her door. Groggy, she stumbles over to it, clicks the latch. When she opens it, she nearly stops breathing, for Anna is on the other side with her arms wrapped around her chest. She does not look like a woman who just got engaged; there are lines on her face and a hard set to her jaw.

"Anna," Julia exhales.

"You..." Anna shakes her head, hair flying. A single strands catches in the corner of her mouth, sticking between her lips. "You didn't say anything. You didn't congratulate me."

Julia says nothing. Anything, she fears, will give everything away. And Anna does not seem keen to allow the silence. She throws her arms out to either side. "Why didn't you congratulate me? We used to be friends. So why weren't you there?"

"Are you happy?" Julia asks.

The question seems to throw the other. Anna stops, staring at Julia in the doorway for a very long stretch.

She is not wearing the ring.

"Anna," Julia says. "Are you happy?"

"It's not..." She seems at a loss for words. Her eyes go a little glassy, a little watery. "It's not that..."

"I would burn the world down for you." It's the truth, but still, the way it claws itself free from her throat leaves a trail of pain behind. "I would burn everything down for you."

"Julia."

"Didn't you know? Didn't you ever know that I would have crawled on broken glass for you?"

Anna gasps, wet and awful. "I didn't."

And she had expected that, since it was, after all, her own silence that had doomed them. "I should have told you sooner."

"It was..." Anna swallows. Tears glisten on her cheeks, though Julia doesn't know when they first fell. "It was always you."

The world tips, shifts. The lamps in the hall burn brighter. "Anna."

She leans in, instinctive. Whatever is tugging her is beyond her control, the tides of fate, the magnetic pull of the surf beneath the moon. And Anna begins to move towards her until she stops, eyes widening. It's as though she remembers who she is, and what happened only hours earlier.

Anna holds one finger up as her gaze flickers away. "I have to do something first."

"Okay," Julia says. Her heart has seized; the moment rings too good to be real.

Anna licks her lips, then lifts her chin once more. "Stay awake. I don't know how long, but please...stay awake."

Julia would never sleep again if that's what Anna commands, but she nods, and watches Anna leave while whispers of possibility, of hope, of joy sound against her ears.

++

Down the hall and three floors below, another bleary figure has been roused. This one was never asleep; not really, anyway. He staggers to the door in a cloud of grief and only opens it because the hour is too late and his judgment is too fuzzy. Then he freezes. His lungs catch.

"Please just let me talk," Jack says, the words coming out in a rush. "I know this sounds insane. I know it does. And please—please don't tell anyone about this, okay? Please. If I'm wrong, just, ignore me, and I'll never bother you again, I promise. I just...I have to know. I can't rest until..." He sucks in a deep breath. His cheeks are pinked. "We could have been something, right? We...we could have had something. This—this could have been different." He bites down on his lip, deep enough to pucker the skin beneath. "You and I could have had something."

Darby stares at him, and Jack stares back, and for a moment, they are locked like that. Until Darby remembers how to fill his lungs again.

"Jack," he tries. It's awful: broken and desperate. "We...we still could."

Jack gasps. His eyes widen. He came in a flurry of frantic nerves, but for all his bravado, he had braced himself to be laughed back to the elevator, to lick his wounds in secret. There are a thousand unspoken truths floating between them, and a thousand more that lay at their feet, but this one...this one has been given substance.

"Jack," Darby tries again.

"I have to go do something," Jack whispers. "Stay awake, okay? Just...please wait a little bit longer."

Darby lets him go. He doesn't think he needs to admit that he would wait a lifetime; that truth, he believes, can be slow to unearth. He closes the door, then leans his forehead against the back as the shadows of the room gather around him.

He laughs, because the euphoria bubbles up through his throat and it has nowhere else to go.

[raxistaicho]

Are we not Engaged? Part 14.

Red vs Blue!

Spoilers under the cut.

Red Alear has a lot of ballista.

The avalanch mechanic was REALLY poorly explained, I thought I had to hide BEHIND the rock outcroppings, not IN FRONT OF THEM.

Red Alear still needs a hug.

Lol the animals you can adpt are no different from normal ones even though this is 1000 years ago.

Oh god Sombron is horrific.

Zephia hears Sombron treats his children like tools and decides she wants one of those. She’s like Eunie but a monster.

Lumera just wandering around enemy territory lol

Lumera was so nice TnT

Veyle worried

The guardian worries Veyle

Sombron’s castle is kinda cool

Veyle’s really uncomfortable

Oh lord it’s Lumera, Sombron is a bastard.

They’re repeating Mikoto, lol...

Lol stupid Veyle snuck in alone.

is Lumera threatening Veyle or challenging her to a dance competition?

This is supposed to be terrible but we barely know Lumera

The fuck Lumera knows was the ring would do?

Nice of Lumera’s body fading away to just pause at her waist for about a minute so she can have a second too-long death scene lol.

Oh no the party’s throwing death flags for the Emblems XD

The Emblems are gonna go away, lol. They’re tools, not characters, this’d be like being sad about the Wing Spear dying at the end of Shadow Dragon.

“The Last Engage” jesus christ.

Oh yeah you might notice I’ve stopped reporting on supports. I’ll get back to those :p

I have to enter the final battle from the Somniel directly, lol, what.

Marth’s being ominous again.

We’re actually riding the Somniel through the portal Sombron opened.

Something’s bugging Marth.

The portal’s ripping the Emblems apart. Oof. And once the portals closes it’ll send out a shockwave that’ll destroy the portals.

If you wanted me to care about the Emblems disappearing you should have actually had them be characters.

There’s like no cinema for entering the portal, you’re just THERE.

Oh, Sombron’s actually willing to let bygones be, lol, that’s kinda remarkable.

Sombron’s after Lelouch!!!

Ah, so Sombron’s from another world. Right, Lumera said nobody knows where he came from.

Why are they bothering to try reasoning with Sombron, he’s clearly deranged.

Lol, Marth confirms that Emblems are different from the people they’re based on.

He’s babbling about revenge but on who? The Zero Emblem?

Also shut up, Marth.

Oh he’s fucking with the Emblems. Oh shoot, Emblems are dead, that sucks :p

Power of friendship moment lol.

Oh no, this scene is just the characters condensing their character gimmicks into one scene XD

“Let us engage!” Roll credits!

This scene of all the Emblems coming back is really gratuitous.

I just noticed Sombron’s... things that those purple crystals are dangling from attaches to his hair. What.

This final boss theme sure don’t hold one drop of a candle’s wax to Id Purpose, End of All, Twilight of the Gods, or Apex of the World.

Sombron, both now and in the flashback, scolds Alear for turning on her father despite rejecting the concept of bonds, so what on earth is he griping at her for? Severing a bond that was never there?

Yeah I was expecting the dragon form, that first phase was way too easy.

ROFLMAO, DARK EMBLEMS.

So wait he rejects the idea of bonds, but he makes his own Emblems? God this guy’s a hypocrite.

Gah that final boss took forever! T_T

Oh please, cut it out with the pity party for the cretin who traumatized his kids.

Jesus why's this game so eager to make abuse victims try to be sympathetic to their abusers.

And bam, back to the Somniel. This game really rushes transitions.

This game’s still trying to make me think Marth was the biggest best partner, lol.

Oh lord, each of the Emblems is going to give some canned dialogue that references their character from their respective games, lol.

Lol, of course fucking Marth gets a special longer scene.

It’s trying to ape Azura’s death scene from Birthright but as usual it misses the landing because it drags it out too long.

Clanne and Framme never developed as people lol.

Holy shit, Alfred fucking died after the war! Long live Queen Celine, rofmao.

The hell, the Emblems are back?

You've gotta be kidding me THIS GAME DOESN'T HAVE A SUPPORT VIEWER ON THE MAIN MENU?

Whooo...

Anyways, game’s done. I’ll be back later with final thoughts.

[spaceorphan18]

Glee Musical Retrospective: Bootylicious (Hairography)

Sung by: Jane Addams Academy Original Artist(s): Destiny's Child

Ah... look at all that hair. ;)

Story Analysis & Technical Thoughts

It's kind of hard to separate the story from the technical stuff on this one since they kind of go hand in hand with what Glee's trying to accomplish here. So, I'm smooshing them together this time.

This is one of those times when Glee is trying to do a slight of hand by manipulating the audience. Interestingly, they're trying to do it in two different ways...

Bootylicious is a dance song. The show purposely keeps choosing dance songs to highlight the ND's competition. They did it with Vocal Adrenaline earlier in the season, too. Why? Part of it is to show off dancing technique -- not only does it look intimidating to the New Direction kids -- they struggle with moving at the same time -- but visually the movement on the TV screen looks more engaging to the at home viewer. So, for the story (and the TV viewer) we have a visual as to why the ND might be afraid of their competition.

However, Glee gives another misdirect which... is something they do a lot, and honestly, gets kind of annoying the more it goes on. After this performance is over, Rachel is going to say that their dancing wasn't that great and that their vocals are only so-so. And that their hair was the real distraction. Well, yes, the hair was distracting... but these performers are actually incredibly good! Glee's just using Rachel as a way to explain to the viewer that these kids aren't that great -- and masking all of that with hair and a dance number so that you're inclined to agree with her.

It's a lot of -- let's tell the audience why this is bad because we can't show actual bad performances on TV. *rolls eyes*

Before I get carried away with some tech stuff, though, let's talk about the song.

Glee is... kind of pushing in on parody territory here. The number is meant to be funny (and admittedly, I do find it kinda funny) but it's also kind of poking fun at some cultural tropes that... idk, may or may not be in good taste?

I mean, it's a bunch of mostly POC female juvenile delinquents shaking their hair (and asses) to a dance song originally done by a black, female group. It has attitude and self-assuredness without being nuanced or complex -- insinuating that all these young women really know how to do is move their bodies and act tough and intimidating. It's a bit on the nose, and Glee knows it. And sometimes it makes me go... Oh Glee...

However, when you dig a little deeper into the performance, I think these ladies deserve a little more credit than the show wants to give to them. Silly hair and choreography aside, these are some really good dancers. The fact that they're able to move their bodies in the way that they do -- and be relatively consistent with each other is pretty incredible. It takes a lot of athleticism to do what they're doing -- and to make it look so off-the-cuff the way they're doing it.

I challenge anyone to twerk like for one three minute song let alone an entire shoot day. Wow. The hair is distracting, and so is the ridiculous choreography - but done so to cover up the fact that these are, more or less, professional dancers.

Meanwhile, the vocals aren't bad either -- this song isn't a hard song to sing as it's mostly repetitive, but Glee arranged it so that there's a lot of harmonies going on, and it sounds really smooth and sleek. It's definitely done by professional vocalists and has a good sound when you strip it away from what's going on on screen.

Like I said above -- Glee's doing a slight of hand. Not only is this song meant to messy and busy as a way to (god help me I'm going to use the word of the week) distract you, but it's supposed to be a sharp contrast so that when we finally get to Imagine - the calm, quietness of that song is supposed to hit more emotionally.

This performance isn't the hot mess Glee wants you to think it is (I mean - speaking of hot messes, we'll get to Crazy In Love/Hair in a little bit) - but is presented in a way to service the story the show wants you to see.

(As an aside - something I've just now started thinking about, is Glee how equates more upbeat, faster tempo, busier songs with comedy while the slower, stand in one place and sing it hard songs hold more story weight. I don't think this is a thing that has to be - but Glee's going to do this throughout its run. Hmmm.)

Fun Fact: Apparently, the a lot of performers in this number are people who tried out for the show So You Think You Can Dance.

vs. The Studio Version: I think the interesting thing about the studio version is that you can hear better that it's been rearranged for a show choir. The song relies mainly on its vocals and even has some solid harmonies going on. The vocals are great (even if it's a song I personally get tired of listening to really quickly) and without the crazy visuals going on, it makes this somewhat simple song all the better!

vs. The Original Version: The show is definitely drawing inspiration from the music video. The choreography is definitely taking the bones of what they're doing here and kind of amping it up to 11. But also, some of the vocal runs and riffs are mirrored in the Glee version, too, which is pretty neat.

[asylumseriesdaily]

Mod intro! Wahoo!

Introduction

hey it's me Jasper T. Jowls (that's not my name that's a Chuck E Cheese character, but you can call me that if you want) here because I needed something to do. You can, like, send me asks if you want, but if they're not super related to this blog I'm gonna point you at my main blog. If you must refer to me, use whatever name you want and he/him pronouns. My blog name or Jasper are good options because I'm not big on sharing my name online. You can also give me dumbass nicknames. I get the feeling I might become known as the guy who wants to smooch Micah from Madeleine Roux's Asylum. I'm a minor so be normal.

I'm super interested in hearing what y'all have to say! I want you to experience this with me! I'm gonna work on finding some free PDFs of these books to share the love!

If you're interested, here's my main blog: @jaspertjunk

Aaand if you want to support me in my endeavors, the blog for a project I'm currently working on: @gleamintomurk

What is this blog?

Primarily, this blog is me liveblogging my reread of the Asylum Series by Madeline Roux. I'm hoping to post one chapter a day, and each chapter's liveblog is going to one uninterrupted post. You can read about why I'm doing this here.

To make it not just one long block of text, and make it easier and more fun to read, I'm going to play around with formatting a lot. If anyone has any ideas on a more accessible way to do this, please reach out to me.

My liveposts are going to be a combination of good old fashioned Tumblr liveposting, analysis and essay-ish content, a few memes and things I'm reminded of, and a generous helping of quotes.

I will also post and reblog a lot of other Asylum related content, like memes, as well as some longer and more well thought out essays and other analysis content. I'm gonna drain those books for meaning.

What exactly are you reading?

The main trilogy of the Asylum series by Madeleine Roux. If I can get my hands on some of the others, I'll read those too, but I'm working with what I have.

Actually you're wrong about these books

This is what I want to hear. This is not gonna be an anti-haters thing. Far as I can tell, I'm the only person really talking about these books much, let alone analyzing them. Probably because they're barely above the scholastic horrors you got at 5th grade book fair. This means my word is god, but I actually do not want that. I am begging you to disagree. I am begging you to debate me. I am begging you to correct me or elaborate on things I say. As long as you're respectful, I will listen to and engage with you! Please! Also, I'm new to looking at books beyond the surface level, so I'm bound to be wrong a lot! Please I wanna hear your opinions

Will you liveblog-

No. Unless it's a short story or I've specifically asked for more content. I am, however, always open to new things to read or watch on my own time. You're also free to ask me for recommendations. I'm actually not a huge horror guy, but I do have some favorites.

Can I...?

Send you asks? YES! About literally anything, though I do ask you to question if it would make more sense to ask my main blog.

Tag me in posts? YES! If they're relevant to this blog in some way (literally anything about this book series).

Make my own blog/do my own liveread/write analysis inspired by this blog? PLEASE GOD DO! About these books or literally anything else! If I somehow inspire you to make content about these books, great! If I somehow inspire you to make content about something you love, even better! I do ask that you credit me if you're using a lot of my arguments in your own analysis, and if I do somehow inspire you to do something like this I'd love to know, but you absolutely do not need my permission.

Do you hate these books?

*White knuckling the bathroom sink, dripping blood* I am having a wonderful time :)

Tagging system

(no I do not)

Warning!

Obviously, lots of spoilers. Some sensitive topics too, though I'll try to tag 'em. These are horror novels, even if they ain't that scary.

#not liveblogging - not my actual liveblogs

#liveblogging - actual liveblogs

#not asylum - not related to the books

#reblogs - reblogs

#modposting - content I post other than liveblogs

#modscreaming - analysis I post other than liveblogs

#asks - asks

Each liveblog will also be tagged with the name and chapter

[devildomditzy]

With an MC who thinks they’re not good enough for them

Made this as a personal vent/comfort piece for my self

If you start thinking bad thought about yourself, you just gotta think “the brothers would be so hurt if they caught me thinking this way”

Tags/Warnings: Self-Deprecating Thoughts

Lucifer

Takes it very personal

As pride incarnate, he values himself on making his guests feel comfortable

Even if it’s not him causing the thought, he’ll still see it upon himself to try and fix it

You don’t even have to say it, he just knows (okay, maybe you vented to Beel and Beel told Lucifer cause he was worried about you but that’s beside the point)

“MC, I was unaware I was doing you the disservice of not imploring your importance to us. Let me make that up to you.”

You don’t know how he knows, but you don’t question it.

He prepares tea for the both of you, ready to have a full conversation about self reflection.

Every negative comment you make about yourself he’s quick to counter

“You’ve truly become the gem of the Devildom, MC. I cannot be dissuaded from believing the same goes for the human realm. You’re very dear to me.”

Mammon

Oh hell no

He will not stand for it

He had asked you to attend one of his shoots earlier this week but you had never responded to his invitation, changing the subject every time he brought it up

At first he thinks you just don’t want to go, which hurts him. You catch onto this, and not wanting him to think that the real reason comes out

“It’s just… you’re a model. Not to mention you were a literal angel sculpted by the Gods, and you make an even hotter demon. You’re on the cover of every magazine in the Devildom. Wherever we go you get recognized and fawned over. Hell, you’ve even got a fan club here at school. You’re also one of the most powerful demons and leaders of this realm. Why the hell would you wanna be seen with some pathetic, average looking human like me.”

His heart breaks

He blames himself for not catching on quicker

“Oi! I’m not gonna let anyone talk about my human like that, even if you are that human!”

In the middle of his rant about how everything about you is perfect to him, from your gorgeous appearance to your terrible humor, to your radiant personality, he gets an idea.

Its like you can see a lightbulb flash over his head, he gets giddy like a child, taking out his phone and quickly dialing a number

As it rings it rings, he proudly says, “If ya got a problem with me bein’ a model, I guess we’ll have to make you one too!”

His agency is actually thrilled to have a chance to shoot Diavolo’s esteemed human exchange student. It’s like a once in a millennia chance.

And he’s holding your hand proudly through it. Now he can show you off to the whole Devildom.

You were nervous about it all week until you saw the photos printed on every magazine in town

You stood next to Mammon, both in your Rad uniforms posing in front of the school. You breath hitches in your throat when you see just how adoringly he is staring at you in each and every photo

He may be a professional, but no amount of training could have stopped his love for you from shining through his expressions

He rips these pictures out of his copy, hanging them both all over his and your rooms

“Now the whole Devildom knows we’re a match made in heaven! Well….shit…uh…ya know what I meant.”

Levi

All that stuff about you being a normie, you know he was just kidding right!?

You open up to him against your will, as you both engaged in another weird card game he bought off of Akuzon, and were bound by the rules to confess a burden or be stuck in the games limbo forever

How could anyone (let alone you) think that about his Henry? His player two?

“H-hey! You’re not giving yourself enough credit! You’re super cool, MC! Like, boss level status!!!”

By the shine and sincerity in his eyes, you know this boy is telling the truth

When you flash him a smile and let out a gorgeous laugh, let’s just say the boy melts

Scoop him off the floor and into your arms, he’ll appreciate it.

Asmo

You have to realize there is only one thing in this world that Asmo thinks can even come close to comparing to him and it’s you

If he is Adonis, then you are Aphrodite (and vice versa)

When he sees you staring in the mirror for a beat too long and learns it’s NOT because you’re admiring your own beauty

oh honey

you’ve got a big storm comin’

We’re talking a self care whirlwind here

He’s got face creams, he’s got body scrubs, he’s got lotions, he’s got makeup, he’s bringing out the big guns

And he’s doing all the work too. Asmo is making sure you feel pampered and radiant by the end of the night

If self care doesn’t work, then he’s got other ways of convincing you *ahem hem*

Satan

You’re preaching to the choir hun

He can’t help himself, he compares his every move with Lucifer’s, worrying he’s not as good as him; worrying he’ll never best him

He knows how much that feeling sucks though, and he never ever wants you to even have an inkling of those thoughts

It happens during a study session in the library, he notices just how out of it you are today

“And what exactly is the correct terminology for hypnotizing someone with cursed speech, MC?…….MC?”

When you finally snap out of your haze and meet his eyes, he knows something in wrong

He’ll softly but steadfast question you, even if you don’t tell him the complete truth, he knows exactly what’s wrong, he can see it in your eyes. The same look he sees when he looks in the mirror.

“I’m just not as smart as you, Satan. I’m just a human. Let’s face it, I’m never gonna pass these exams. Diavolo’s gonna send me home because I’m just not good enough. I’m not as great as you all make me out to be.”

At those words, panic sets into his eyes temporarily before they soften

“MC, you’re the most remarkable being I’ve ever met. Quite frankly, I never thought a human could survive down here- well, there’s Solomon, but I wouldn’t quantify him as human. You’re certainly more clever than you think. Honestly, you’re not as great as we all think. You’re even better than that.

After his little pep talk, he’ll take you back to his room for a little study break. He’ll make you tea, read to you, nap with you, whatever makes you feel better.

You enchant him <3

Beel

This has Beel utterly baffled because the poor boy cannot wrap his head around why you or anyone else would ever have a negative thought about you

He may not speak it all the time because he just assumes you know but you are his everything

If even an inkling of a negative thought comes out of your mouth, Beel will stare at you straight faced for a beat before completely enveloping you into his strong arms

He’s not the best with words (usually, he leaves the poetics for his twin) but he will really make an attempt to chase these doubtful emotions from your mind

“MC, I don’t know what made you feel this way but I promise it’s far from the truth. Now, how can I help you feel better?”

Belphie

omg bestie him too, small world!!!

I mean, how could he be enough for you? He tried to kill you!!!

Mutual and constant assurance common between the two of you

And ever since the events of that day, a giant question has been gnawing at the back of your mind. You can’t help but let it slip one day

“Belphie, are you sure you love ME? That i’m not just a replacement in your mind for Lilith? You hated me until you found out I was her descendant…I-I mean, how could you change your mind that fast?”

He’s stunned to say the least, but shakes his head and softly smiles at you before stating

“Yes, I did hold a grudge against humans, but not particularly you. I would have attacked any human who found their way in front of me back then. Lilith is my sister, of course I love and miss her. But you MC? You are the light of my life. I could only see red until I saw through your human nature and finally saw the beautiful soul that is you. I realized I was wrong that day, wrong for a very long time. Now, I don’t want to waste anymore time, I want to spend it all with you.”

[divinegrey]

MOUTH OF THE RIVER / vi x f!reader

POP ROCKS & PUNCHES, part 6

hey everyone! happy almost 2022! here's another update! the following ones might come slower as im starting up uni again next week, but i want to finish this, so i will :)

masterlist here

prompt: you, caitlyn, ekko, and vi head topside to try and reach caitlyn's councilor friend. things go extremely awry.

words: 3318

warnings: mentions of trauma, fighting, gore and violence, character-death [nah I'm kidding]

When you come down from the tree after catching your breath, you find Caitlyn, Vi, and Ekko engaged in what appears to be a frankly very heated conversation.

“Woah, woah, what the hell are we talking about?” You walk in, putting your arm between Ekko and Caitlyn. You glance to the side to see the container in Ekko’s hands and the glowing stone held within. Your eyes widen. “Is that Hextech?”

“You know it?” Both Caitlyn and Ekko seem surprised by this and you just roll your eyes, nonplussed.

“I make weapons and technology for a living, of course I know what Hextech is. That little ball could be used to make anything ten times more powerful,” you say. You hold up your shield gauntlet. “I could put that sucker in this and I’d have a shield bigger than this entire room from the energy alone. Who had that?”

“Jinx did,” Caitlyn says, putting a hand on her hip. “Stolen when she attacked during Progress Day. I need to get it back to safety.”

“No way,” Ekko says. He twists the container shut with a steely look on his face, one you recognize well. “I could actually use this to make the Lanes better. This could be the shot we need to get Silco out of power. If Rocky can make a device, we could eradicate Silco’s empire in one shot.”

You pinch your brows. His logic is sound, but there are flaws. It’s not enough to have just one plan. We need more.

“I don’t doubt Rocky’s ability to do that, but if you want Piltover’s help in fighting Silco, you need to give it to me,” Caitlyn says. “Ekko, what’s been done to you and your people is wrong. You’d be well within your right to keep it, believe me. But… if you do, the cycle of violence will never stop.”

For an Enforcer, you’re pleasantly surprised at Caitlyn’s conviction at actually trying to find a solution that serves to help all parties instead of Piltovans alone. She speaks from the heart. You glance at Vi in the corner of your eye and she looks twice as shocked as you do by Caitlyn’s momentary speech.

“I have a friend on the Council. Please, let me get this back to him, and he’ll be able to help us. Help you,” Caitlyn finishes, putting her hands together. “Your people wouldn’t have to hide anymore.”

The conflict is clear on Ekko’s face. He turns to you for reassurance, and for all the times you’ve called Caitlyn the Topside Princess, you have to give her credit where it’s due. She’s intelligent, and she has the balls to come all the way down to Zaun with Vi in order to try and do something for this place. You give Ekko a slight head tilt, hoping he understands your message; up to you.

Ekko straightens up.

“Fine. On one condition.” Ekko looks every bit the Firelight Leader you knew he could be. “I get to be the one to hand it to him.”

Caitlyn holds out her hand. You watch Ekko take it and give it a firm handshake, and you couldn’t be more proud of him.

***

You start moving, going through the old tunnels that you used to cross when you were a kid. Everywhere you look, there are green firelights filling up the space. You look up with a smile, thinking about the times you’d come down here for some peace and quiet when everything felt so insane.

Nothing’s changed.

“Do you remember the time we found Mylo piss-drunk down here?” Vi asks, hands tucked into the pockets of her jacket. She snorts. “Stole a bottle from Vander’s stock and drank all of it himself and ended up down here.”

“Had to get Claggor to drag him back up,” Ekko says from a few feet ahead.

“And I had to shove my fingers down his throat to get him to throw it up,” you end the story, making a disgusted face. You turn to Vi. “Do you know how horrible it smelled? I should’ve just made you do it.”

“Are you trying to say something about my fingers?” Vi’s eyebrow raises. You step over just to shove her off balance. Her laughter bounces off the metal walls and you notice Ekko and Caitlyn looking at you both with varying levels of amusement. Ekko doesn’t seem too surprised, and Caitlyn just appears to be vindicated, for whatever reason.

“You’re awful. Go trip over a rock.”

“Lay down, let me trip over you then,” Vi retorts with a small snigger.

“Oh, ha ha, great pun, ten out of ten. Haven’t heard that one before.”

By the time you all reach the top of the bridge and begin crossing it, light has fallen into night, and the air feels thick with the fog from the river. Your eyes are peeled for the first sign of danger and you take it upon yourself to walk in front of the others. Your best defense is your shield.

When the sound of footsteps behind you stops, you turn around to see Vi with her head hung low, fingers curled into fists.

“Vi?” Caitlyn says, tilting her head to try and get a better look at Vi’s face, but the bruiser simply exhales.

“I can’t leave her again,” Vi whispers, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out who her means.

You walk back toward her, passing by Ekko and giving him a firm squeeze on his shoulder paired with a keep yourself safe mouthed to him silently. Without so much as a word out of your mouth, you put your hand on Vi’s arm; you’re there for her. You always will be. You owe it to Jinx to try again.

“You can’t change her, you know,” Ekko says. His mind was made a long time ago. You know that fact very well when he had to pull you out of the alleyway you were dumped in when Jinx put a bullet into your stomach with tears in her eyes.

Vi pulls her head up. “I have to try.”

Ekko sighs, then says with some resignation, “Don’t get yourself killed, alright?”

“I’ll make sure she stays on her feet,” you add, rubbing Vi’s back with your hand before dropping your arm to the side. You tap your bracer twice to ping the necklace sitting on his skin and he chuckles at the faint noise only he hears.

When you glance at the Topside Princess, you see the apprehension clear in her face, but the resolve is stronger, making her take a few bold steps forward and—

She’s hugging you both.

Goddamn, she’s tall.

You wrap your arm around Caitlyn’s back, allowing yourself this moment for a hug between the three of you. You won’t ever admit it out loud, but Caitlyn’s a far better woman than you ever expected her to be. Pilties have never been on your good list, but Caitlyn might just be the exception to that rule.

But not nearly enough to forgive what they’ve done to us in Zaun, you think to yourself. You do have one thing to thank Caitlyn for.

“Thanks for breaking Vi out of jail,” you say, knowing well enough that Vi can hear it too. “Having her back means the world.”

“It’s been real, Cupcake,” Vi adds, causing Caitlyn to hold you both a bit tighter. “Thanks. For everything. Including getting me back to Rocky.”

You grab Vi’s hand with your free one and give it a squeeze. Without a second of hesitation, Vi’s fingers interlace with your own. Soon, Caitlyn breaks apart from the hug. With a point, you comment, “Keep that rifle safe, alright? Don’t tell people where you got it.”

Caitlyn cracks a smile on that face, and you think that the world truly is turning upside down if you’re tentative friends with an Enforcer now. Life is, without a doubt, incredibly strange at some points. Regardless, you’re beyond grateful. Vi is already looking at you when your neck turns to glance, and you give her a nod.

Time to go back down below.

If this is a second shot at making up for your mistakes, then you’ll take it.

You turn and walk back down the bridge, side by side with your best friend. Only now, she’s not just your best friend. You can’t deny the feelings you hold close to your heart just for her. Whenever you’re near her, you feel fizzy, like the taste of pop rocks crackling on your tongue.

I won’t let you down again, you think to yourself. Not again, Jinx. I failed you twice, I won’t do it a third. I promise.

“What’s the plan?” you ask.

Vi brushes her hair back, the magenta strands dark with the dim light of the bridge. “We burn Silco’s empire around him and get Pow back.”

You can get on board with that.

BOOM!

The blood in your body turns cold.

“Gunshot,” you whisper. A split-second look between you and Vi, and you both turn and run towards the end of the bridge. You leap over the barricades with expertise gained by years of running around the Lanes, Vi hot on your tail. She might be fast, but you were always faster than her.

You spare a second glance upward.

All around you, green firelights begin floating down, the green luminous ends flickering with a manner that feels all too unnatural. One floats down to your shoulder and the gleam of brass in the moonlight catches your attention. Your eyes widen; you push it off and thrust your gauntlet into the sky, the shield expanding as you pull Vi underneath it.

Explosions pop out like firecrackers all over you. The shield absorbs most of the impact from above, your head buried in Vi’s neck and Vi holding onto you for dear life. You start cursing as the bursts of false firelights die down in green fireworks all around you. Your arm starts to burn from the force of holding it against the explosives, but you remain resilient until the air falls quiet.

You retract the shield and look at Vi.

“Jinx made those,” you say with an astounding conviction in your words.

Vi swallows roughly. “How do you know?”

You pull her up to her feet, your face screwed up with anger. Not at Vi. No, never at her. At yourself. Shame makes your words heavy when you reply, “Because I made the original blueprint.”

“What?!”

Survive by any means necessary.

When you arrive, it’s chaos. There’s blood on the ground. To the right, Ekko’s body is pressed against the barricade, slumped over. Your pants rip when you skid to your knees beside him, pushing him onto his back. The bullet is stuck to the front of his clothes and you pull it off. You know him better than that. He’d never take off the bulletproof weave you designed.

You exhale a sigh of relief. “Get up, Little Man, we’re not done yet.”

He grumbles something entirely incoherent. You pull his arm around your shoulder, brushing back the white locks of his hair. Your fault, Rocky, your fault. You pull him up to standing, patting his cheek until he can say more than a mumble.

Your eyes turn to the bridge. From the smoke comes Jinx, braids swaying in the wind and anger clear as day in the way her eyebrows are downturned and she looks like she’s on the brink of murder. You watch as an Enforcer— not Caitlyn, no, Vi is with Caitlyn— tries to stop Jinx.

BOOM!

The Enforcer falls to the ground. The tip of Jinx’s pistol curls with smoke. She blows the wisps to the side and shame fills your entire body from your toes to your throat like hot poison. You could’ve prevented this.

Jinx leans down and picks up the gemstone canister, slinging it over her shoulder. It’s about the same time that Vi has Caitlyn’s arm slung over her shoulder, slowly standing up. Their eyes meet across the bridge. Jinx huffs, her eyes flickering so quickly you don’t notice it.

But you do see her hand reaching for her machine gun.

In a flash, your shield extends from your gauntlet and you twist your body, throwing the Sentinel Shield out of the gauntlet and into the air. It arcs sideways and right before the bullets can hit Caitlyn and Vi, the shield deflects them. It clatters to the other side of the bridge.

And from between Caitlyn and Vi races Ekko, flying on his hoverboard. He flies right past Jinx, using the end of his weapon to snap the strap of the minigun, just as you had done not even a day before. You summon the shield back to your gauntlet, the metal disc soaring through the air. As it slides into your hand, you spin, taking the momentum to hurl it at Jinx. With inhuman speed, her body moves an inch to the side, but you hadn’t been intending to hit her anyway.

A distraction.

Ekko rears his board back, pulling the strap of the canister and skidding onto the ground. You pull your shield back to your gauntlet. Ekko stands up beside you and throws the canister back to Caitlyn, who catches it with a pained grunt.

“Go!” Ekko shouts at them. In the distance, Jinx comes walking back, the heavy footsteps echoing on the silent bridge as ash filters through the air. Instinctively, you ready your shield. But still, you glance back.

Vi looks at you, her brows pinched together and nearly on the brink of tears. Your throat is thick when you swallow, and you simply nod at her before mouthing, go. Only then does she turn and start walking away.

You and Ekko shift to close the gap, standing shoulder to shoulder.

“Oh, look who it is,” Jinx says, her voice gritty with the smoke. “The boy savior and the girl who tried.”

Your eyes narrow at the name. The girl who tried…

“I’ll always keep trying, Jinx,” you say, but the words echo into the air like the sound of a church bell. Haunting.

She blinks at you. The twitch in her brows betrays an emotion you don’t quite understand, but if you’re any closer… then you’ll take it. Beside you, Ekko unfurls his stopwatch. The ticking soon matches your heartbeat as the adrenaline floods into your bloodstream. You shift your stance, watching the way Jinx looks at the stopwatch, then chuckles softly.

She twists her body the way you taught her when she was first learning how to shoot. Strong posture. Proud chest. Eyes level. She twists a knob on her pistol. In the few seconds she takes, you manage to get enough information. Shock pistol with bullet capabilities. High-caliber. Jinx did always prefer the guns that had a bit of recoil to them. She certainly has the strength to handle it, if her minigun is any indication.

Out of the corner of your eye, Ekko’s lip twitches. There’s a flash of something green in his eyes.

He starts running.

BOOM! Ekko slides underneath the first bullet. You raise your shield just in time for it to glance off in the sky. BOOM! BOOM! Two more follow in rapid succession, leading Ekko to twist over them with ease you can only assume he garnered from the way Jinx shoots without hesitation. She doesn’t stop to consider her target, not like you told her to. No, she’s crazed. She shoots and she shoots and she shoots.

Ekko leaps up into the air, raising his weapon over his head. Jinx raises her pistol into the sky and you throw your shield once more.

It strikes the nozzle of her gun, knocking it out of her hand before she can pull the trigger. WHAM!

Ekko strikes Jinx in the jaw.

“Ekko, NO!” You shout, your feet kicking up dust as you run straight towards them. You pull your shield back to yourself, retracting it into your gauntlet. He doesn’t even hear you as he whips Jinx in the face again. You pull the chain and double-sided sickle from your hip and snap it forward. The metal wraps around his leg like a snake constricting. Your grip tightens as you yank him back. “That’s enough!”

“Rocky, what the hell!” Ekko shouts, snapping his weapon on your chains to break the fine, small links comprising them.

You throw the broken weapon to the ground, hissing, “Don’t hurt her!”

“She’s trying to kill us!”

Jinx snarls, snatching her gun from the ground as she rolls onto her back. You leap in front of Ekko, sliding on your knees as she pulls the trigger. The bullet slides off the edge of your shield.

“She’s my little sister!” You say, making sure you’re more than loud enough for Jinx to hear. “Just like how you’re my little brother! I won’t have you two trying to kill each other! I said I’ll keep fucking trying!”

Ekko’s eyebrows pinch together. “You’re insane.”

“You think Vander would want us fighting like this?!” You dodge a punch from Jinx. She’s fast. You can barely keep pace. “Benzo?!”

“Shut UP!” Jinx shouts. You raise your shield just in time to absorb the blow of a kick. You push Jinx’s handgun away when she tries to fire, the smell of gunpowder curdling in your nose as your ears ring from the loudness of the gun. When she tries again, you catch her by the arm.

You hold her wrist, holding her gaze for a fraction of a second.

“I will never stop trying,” you repeat. Please, Jinx, if not for me, then for Vi. Her eyebrows flatten out, mouth parting. Her eyes flicker to the side and she shoves you back into the railing. Pain flares in your spine.

“RAUGH!” Ekko bulldozes Jinx from the side. He takes a punch to the face as the two fall onto the ground. He snaps the end of his weapon onto her face and you cringe at the sight of blood coming from Jinx’s nostrils.

Get up, fuck! You’re screaming at yourself. It’s barely enough.

Ekko raises his fist back and right as you think he’s about to throw it into her skull, he freezes.

You get onto your knee, pushing up on your knuckles. The asphalt and concrete rip at your skin, but you hardly feel it, the adrenaline surge taking over your senses until they can only focus on one thing.

“Ekko, don’t!” You shout, voice raw with the taste of ash and smoke. The lines of hesitation in his arms are clear and the look on his face is nothing short of pain and confusion mixed together in a foggy haze.

Jinx looks to the side, her teary eyes falling on you. You catch her mouth to you, I’m sorry, her lips cracking and bleeding. Just like that, your heart is fracturing into pieces, the colossal monster that is the feeling of failure coming back to you like a demon from the deepest circle of hell. You failed her. You know you did, and that is the ghost that will haunt you forever.

From her hand, you see her pull the pin to a grenade that starts to chatter loudly, metal teeth gnashing together in time with a blinking red light.

You run. You don’t even think about it.

This is your atonement.

You unfurl the shield and throw yourself onto the grenade, right as the timer clicks.

KABOOM!

You’re weightless in the air, a dozen feet— maybe more— off the ground. The bones inside of your skin are rattling, your muscles seizing up as you fall through the air, over the side of the bridge. Blackness dots your vision; you reach out, to what? What do you reach out to?

Vi.

You hit the water of the river below.

~~~~~

A/N: the bridge scene is honestly the most painful scene to write bc of jinx and ekko i stg

[ijustwant2write]

Reconnect-Finn Shelby x Reader

(GIF credit to @peakystitches​)

Masterlist

Tags: @captivatedbycillianmurphy​ @jenepleurepasbaby​ @amirahiddleston​ @bloodorangemoonlight @haphazardhufflepuff​ @mzcrazy2​

Requested by anonymous: ‘Hello! May i request an either tommy or finn shelby x reader? (Whicheverr one u think suits best) for this prompt i found: character A and B have been in a longterm relationship and nothing can get in between, until one day something does and they drift away. But then they reconnect emotionally and everything feels like the first time again (first kiss, first meal together etc) 🙏🏼💜 i love ur writing thank u’

Characters: Finn Shelby x Reader, Polly Gray x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Swearing, arguing, finance issues, drinking, fluff

                                    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Finn, is that you?" I called out from our bedroom as I heard the front door open. I tensed up when I didn't hear a reply, only to let out a sigh when I heard him giggling.

He was drunk again, it happened almost every week now. Tommy would have given him something important to do for the gang, and whether or not Finn succeeded with that task, he would go out and celebrate with his mates. I would sometimes tag along if I wasn't tired from the week of working, but after seeing our finances, I realised we needed to stop acting like teenagers and start saving wisely.

"Hello my gorgeous girl." he slurred out as he entered the room.

"Hello Finn." I replied as I received a sloppy kiss to my forehead.

He flopped down beside me in bed, taking the book out of my hands and throwing it to the floor. Finn wrapped his arms around me, snuggling into my lap. I took off his hat, stroking back his hair. He was cold from the brisk walk home, causing me to shiver.

“You should have come out tonight." he said.

"I got off work late."

"He kept you again?"

"No, I decided to stay."

"Why? You always say you're tired."

"I'm tired because I'm picking up extra shifts and hours so that we can start saving up for a house."

"I've told you, we don't need to worry about that. Business is good."

"Finn, we're not going to be given the money. We have to earn it."

"Tommy will help us."

"He might help but he won't give us a lot. And even if he did hand us a house, we've got to have enough money for the bills, furniture-"

"It will be fine."

"Finn, we've not even had our wedding yet!"

We had been engaged for half a year. We were wanting to be married sooner, but problems arose with the Peaky Blinders it distracted us both from it, especially since our lives were in danger. I desperately wanted to have enough money for the wedding and house, though it looked like it was going to be one or the other at this point.

"What's wrong with the flat?" Finn now sat up.

"Did you seriously ask me that question? There's only so much I can do to this dump to make it look somewhat liveable. It just doesn't feel like home."

"We'll get the money. Don't worry. Look, look," he took my hands in his,"we will get a house. I promise. And believe me, I want to marry you as soon as I can, there needs to be another ring on that finger. And I need to see my name at the end of yours."

I stupidly believed him. Those adoring eyes I once trusted had lied to me. Finn kept his promise for a week at max, soon breaking it. I didn't mind him going out with friends, we both needed to socialise, I just disagreed with the amount of times he was out and the amount of drinks he was buying each night. He would always offer to get the next round, and although he was a Shelby, the discounts didn't make much difference at the end of the night. I decided I had to go with him to ensure that our money wasn't being poured away, struggling to stay awake for those long nights, and making work even harder every day. It was impossible to keep an eye on him like that.

Usually Finn would tell me if he was going out that night so I wouldn't worry. That stopped too. My mind was never at ease. How did I know he wasn't lying in a ditch somewhere after a job gone wrong? Or what if he was trapped somewhere by a rival gang? I could only rest when he returned, which he always luckily did. I pretended to be asleep, trying to not push him away as he slipped his arms around me, cuddling me for the rest of the night. My patience began to grow thin. I was too scared to speak up about it, worried that we would just end up having an argument. However, I knew we would have to bring it up soon, because our money was only disappearing instead of increasing.

One morning when I was leaving for work, I noticed that the drawer we locked our savings away in was slightly ajar, meaning someone had unlocked it and stupidly left it open. Of course it had to be Finn, no one had broken in during the night. My eyes widened when I saw how much he had taken, enraged that he would think me so foolish. Why would he take the money without asking? What was he using it for?

As I stormed towards the shop, I heard whooping from men in a car further up the street. My face turned into a deep frown when I recognised the car, managing to catch a glimpse of the people in it. They hadn't seen me, and I had to make sure my eyes were deceiving me.

I didn't care about the looks on me as I burst through into the shop, making a beeline for Polly's office. I harshly knocked on the door, entering when she called me.

"(Y/N)? What's wrong?" she asked, a lit cigarette in hand.

"Where's Finn?"

"Off out with his brothers, why?"

"Where are they going?"

"To the races."

I scoffed, placing a hand on my head in defeat.

"Why? What's wrong with that?"

"He told me he would be in the office all day today."

"So? Things change."

"No, he specifically told me that. I never even asked about it. He made a point meaning he didn't want to risk me waltzing in. That means he's hiding something."

"(Y/N), they're only going to bet on horses today. They're mingling."

"They're betting today?!"

She stood, putting a hand on her hip."What am I missing here?"

"Pol, he's using money that we don't have! I need a car, I need to get to him."

"Look, even if my nephew is being the biggest idiot, it's a bad idea to go there."

"Why?"

Her eyes widened."Don't snap at me young lady."

"I'm sorry, I just, I just know he's going to be stupid with what little money we have at the minute."

Polly was silent for a few seconds, and I didn't know if she was just staring me out, trying to make me leave. Perhaps she didn't think it was anything to worry over. But it was to me. She surprised me when she went into one of her drawers, pulling out a set of keys.

"Come on. I'll get one of the girls to call your work, say you're sick."

I tightly clasped my hands together as Polly drove. I was furious, trying to think of what to say to Finn when I got there. He stole our money. He went behind my back, gambling away the money we worked hard to earn. I had never said it, but Finn had it much easier than I did. For one, he worked with family, and although I liked my job, the boss could sometimes be an arsehole; second, he earned a lot more than me, so he was the bigger breadwinner between us, but I worked longer hours. Yes, he was in a gang meaning he had more days where his life was under threat, but he seemed to be having a jolly good time anyway. Really, it wouldn't have mattered who worked longer or harder, or who earned more, it was still our money to spend on our house.

As soon as Polly parked up, I was straight out of the car. She quickly followed grabbing my arm and warning me to not get lost in the crowds. I couldn't make a scene, especially since there could be potential business partners or enemies about. I refrained from rolling my eyes, knowing she was right but also knowing that I would find it extremely hard to not scream at Finn.

Polly guided me to where the men would be, ignoring the shoving and shouting. I wished for her to walk quicker. We swiftly entered the posher boxes, almost stopped by a doorman until his accomplice shut him up. I even heard him whisper 'That's Polly Gray you idiot.', the one time I was glad we had a reputation. She only paused to scan the room for the boys but I spotted them first. Quickly moving past her, I couldn't stop my fists from clenching, seeing Finn joyfully drinking and laughing with his brothers only added fire to my fury.

"Finn!" I snapped, quickly catching his attention.

"(Y/N)?" he exclaimed, struggling to stand and clattering the plates and glasses on the table."W-what are you doing here?"

"Stopping you from spending our money like a fucking idiot! Where is it?"

"Oh, Finn boy is in the doghouse." John chuckled.

"Shut up!" I fiercely pointed at him.

"Where's what?" Finn brought me back.

"Our money!"

"I told you, you do this outside." Polly warned, shoving Finn in that direction, and I knew I had to follow him.

Luckily, we were left alone. Finn continued on, finding someplace we would be alone. Once we were in the clear, the distant roar of the crowds covering our conversation, I saw him sigh quietly, running a hand down his face when he realised what was coming.

"Where's the money Finn?" I asked, calmer but with a mean tone.

"Let me explain first.”

"Explain how you took our money without asking? How you just waltzed out this morning without consulting me?"

"Tommy said that there was a good chance, a very good chance that this horse would win, and I thought it would help us if we put our money on it. Imagine how much we'll have if it wins!"

"If it wins Finn, if! You're gambling our money, why would you do something like that?"

"Because you went on about not having enough money! And here I am trying to help!"

My mouth dropped open in shock."You really don’t see the problem here."

"No, actually, I don't." he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Finn, you stole money from the drawer! You then go behind my back and bet it away. Have you thought about what we'll do if that horse loses?"

"But it won't, Tommy said."

"And what if Tommy is wrong this time? Also, don't pin this on your brother, I know he hasn't even suggested this idea."

"I'm not-urgh!" Finn groaned."Why don't you trust me?"

"I can't trust a gamble Finn. I don't think you realise how many nights I've spent lying awake, worried that we'll never have enough for our own home, and thinking that you don't even care anymore."

"Of course I care. This is why I've bet the money."

"How is this not getting in your head?"

"(Y/N)," he took my hands in his, but I couldn't even look at him,"in a few minutes we will hear them announce the winner, and we will start jumping for joy when we realise how much money we're going to get back, and we're going to be so much closer to getting our home."

"Finn, I desperately want to believe that. But even if we do win, you're in deep trouble." I took my hands away from him, turning around. I couldn't even look at my own fiance.

On queue, we heard a man come over the intercom, it was muffled to me but I knew Finn was listening intensely. Glancing over my shoulder, I watched for his reaction, turning around fully when I saw his expression. We had lost. We lost all that money.

"How could you be so fucking stupid?!" I screamed at him, throwing slaps onto his chest."Why couldn't you just listen to me? I don't understand why you had to lie to me Finn!"

I broke down crying, shoving him away from me. My sobs were loud but I didn't care. Finn could watch, see how much he upset me. My heart sank at the thought of it all gone, Finn had left scarcely any money in the drawer back at the flat.

"I'm sorry (Y/N)." Finn pathetically said.

"You know how you always go on about your family never trusting you enough for the big jobs? That you never get to go out with them and help? This is why. Because you do things like this, you fuck everything up Finn. Fuck!" I wiped away my tears, even though more spilled out."You know I've always stuck beside you, but this is the last straw Finn. I can't be with someone who doesn't want to put effort into their future."

"What are you saying? (Y/N), I can fix this. I promise I'll get the money back, I'll-"

"How? That took us so long to build that up. And you were spending our money almost every night on useless drinking. I can't Finn, I can't live like that anymore."

He ducked his head, and I almost wanted him to say something. When he didn't, I knew what I had to do.

I took a deep breath before speaking."I'm going home. I suggest you stay at Polly's tonight."

"Let me take you home-"

"No!"

"What's going on?" Tommy suddenly appeared, he, his brothers and Polly approaching.

"Your nephew, your brother, just gave away almost all of our money betting on a horse. Not only that, but he took the money without telling me. That was money for a house." I angrily explained.

"Is that true Finn?"

Finn shamefully nodded.

"We can get you your money back (Y/N)."

"It's not about that Tom. He's lied to me. He promised me he wouldn't spend our money every week, yet he did. And then he takes our money without asking me about it first."

"I'll fix it (Y/N), I promise I will." Finn was begging at this point.

"Another promise that you're bound to break. I've had enough today."

"Let's get you home love." Polly said, putting a stop to this argument as she stepped forward, taking me under her arm.

Finn didn't come home that night. I didn't sleep. I was sat at the tiny dining table, staring at the ring on my finger, wondering what to do. It broke my heart to think about leaving him, but it also broke my heart thinking about how reckless he had been. Did I really want to be marrying someone who acted like this? Would he mature? My heart wanted to believe he would, but my mind kept telling me that today confirmed he wouldn't. That was one of the worst nights of my life.

                                     *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I couldn't stand this job any longer. But it was the only thing keeping me alive. It was crappy work, the pay was just above minimum, enough for me to buy food, pay my rent and have the tiniest amount left over. Saving up money was hard when it was just you. Even after two years, I didn't have enough to consider looking at places of my own, or with less roommates. It was exhausting keeping up with these girls I lived with, there were 6 of us altogether. It was a big change when I moved away from Small Heath.

"You ready (Y/N)?" one of my roommates called out to me as I finished applying my lipstick.

"Just a second!" I replied, checking myself in the mirror.

It was the rare occasion that I was going out with them, the one time we could all go out together at all. I was looking forward to a few drinks, and although that sounded hypocritical, I realised that I had to have a night or two in at least a month to relieve myself of the stress I put upon myself.

We arrived at the small club we always went to, it had the cheapest drinks this side of town. We all shivered in the cold weather, walking as fast as we could to make it to the club. The warmth was very welcome, as well as the loud music that drew us further in. It was the usual routine, a few of us grab a table, the others get the drinks in, then we would all make our way to the dance floor. Hours passed, and I had to get away from the heat coming from the dancing, stepping back towards our table to get a drink. I saw my roommate stumbling in the direction of the bar, rolling my eyes as I went to help her, perhaps getting a drink whilst I was there. However, once I got closer, I stared at the man she was starting to flirt with.

"Isaiah?" I said as I got closer.

"(Y/N)!" he smiled, bringing me in for a hug.

"You two know each other?" my roommate asked, looking disappointed.

"He's an old friend. Just that, nothing else."

Isaiah let me go."How long has it been? Two years?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, two years. What are you doing here?"

"Business. Nothing dangerous though, you girls are still in for a good night. Especially you if you're good." he winked to my roommate.

"Is he...is he here?" my voice suddenly went shaky, and I felt almost completely sober.

Isaiah's playful nature dropped."Uh, he is. He's really misses you (Y/N). Hasn't even looked at another girl since you left. He's just not been the same." I wasn't sure how to reply.

"I can't not tell him I saw you. Imagine if he found out, he would be so upset with me."

"I know. I wouldn't want to hurt your friendship."

"Maybe you should see him. It might do you both some good."

"Or the opposite."

"He still loves you. Even if you don't feel the same, it could bring closure. But I know you (Y/N), I can tell what you're thinking."

"You were always annoying like that."

"He's out front, in the corridor. That's all I'm going to say."

I looked at him for a few seconds, trying to make my mind up."Well, this one is a handful, just so you know."

"I think I can handle her." Isaiah smirked.

"I was warning her about you."

I giggled at his reaction, walking away and leaving him in his natural habitat of flirting. But as soon as I turned around, my stomach dropped, nerves filling up my entire body. He was here. I hadn't seen him for two years, though I thought about him everyday. Would he look different? Did I look different? What was he going to say? What was I going to say? My brain didn't want to think of any words, maybe I was about to babble absolute nonsense to him.

Upon seeing him, my throat tightened, the cool air slapping me in the face; oh, now I was sober. He hadn't noticed yet, leaning up against a wall, hands in his pockets. Wow, he had changed. His boyish charm was still there, yet he had matured into a handsome young man. It was like I was seeing him for the first time all over again. I was just happy that he would be seeing me in my finer clothes rather than catching me after work.

Urging my feet to move, I almost sighed at how small my steps were. I really was scared. Isaiah had said reassuring things, yet I couldn't even walk up to him. It was too late to back out now, especially when he finally looked up at me. I froze on the spot, not knowing what to do. Finn seemed the same way.

"(Y/N)." he said, I only just heard it.

"Hello."

Hello? Really, that's all I could come up with?

He pushed himself off the wall, coming to stand in front of me, though not too close."I...I can't believe you're here."

"I could say the same about you."

"This is where you've been living then."

I nodded."It's not too bad. I mean, I'm on a night out."

"Who are you with?"

I knew he was wondering if I was with a man."My roommates, I live with five other girls."

"Oh, that's a lot."

"Yeah, it's the only place I could afford."

"I hope it's nice."

"I shouldn't complain. A lot better than other places."

We both knew we were making an awful attempt at small talk. I was sure he had so much to say like I did, we just didn't want to dump it on each other in case the other ran away. It was like we were teenagers again, awkwardly trying to think of something to fill the dreaded silence.

"I really want to talk about us (Y/N)." Finn said.

"You do?"

"I...I just have so much to say to you. I can't do it now, but what about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow? Tomorrow, um, yes, yes tomorrow works for me. It's the weekend, so I'm not working."

He smiled slightly."OK, good. I'll come get you. Um, I need your address."

"Oh, here." I dug around in my purse, thankful there was a folded up tissue and a pen, it was good to be prepared. I wrote down my address, handing it to him.

"I'll pick you up at one. I would want it to be earlier, you just never know what time you'll be back with this sort of thing."

"I understand Finn, I did live this with you once."

I barely slept, even when we stumbled in at three in the morning. Luckily I hadn't seen Finn, Isaiah or any other Peaky Blinder that evening, no doubt settling business behind the scenes. Despite the lack of sleep, I was wide awake the next morning, up before everyone else who were nursing their hangovers, trying on multiple outfits in a desperate attempt to look nice, but not as if I put too much effort in. The clock was rolling onto one o'clock, and my heart was beating much faster than usual. I was about to make my way downstairs when something glistened on my small vanity. Should I take it? Yes, I would.

Finn knocked on the door, and I waited a few seconds before opening it. We smiled as we greeted each other, not going in for a hug or kiss on the cheek, something I was worried about. That was the first hurdle jumped over.

"How was your evening?" Finn struck up a conversation as we walked further into town.

"Much better than yours I presume?" I smirked. He chuckled."Yeah, didn't exactly get to enjoy the music. Small fight, nothing we couldn't handle."

It was strange hearing about Blinder business again."Well I'm glad you're all safe."

"I thought we could go out for lunch, saw a nice place round here."

"Oh, that would be lovely."

"We don't have to, if you don't feel comfortable."

"No, no, no, it's not that. It's just a lovely thing for you to do."

We both bashfully smiled, luckily the restaurant was just around the corner. I had expected nothing less when we walked into the fancy place, not because I thought I deserved it, but because Finn wouldn't be seen anywhere else. His clothes were even more tailored now than they had been the last I saw him, indicating that the gang had been doing well, more money was coming in. We both immediately picked up our menus as we sat, hoping someone would speak first. Our eyes glanced over the top of them, it was as if we were on our first date again, only this time in a better establishment.

"You look beautiful." he said, still hiding part of his face.

"Thank you." I blushed.

"I'll never forget what you wore when I picked you up for our first date. That blue dress you just bought, with a matching purse, and those heels that you hadn't practiced walking in. Well, you used that as an excuse to latch into my arm all night."

I smiled, placing down my menu."It was a good plan, wasn't it? And I did struggle in those heels, I just didn't want to embarrass myself."

He copied me."I liked holding your hand all night."

"What a sweet sentiment."

"I mean it. And I mean this date. That didn't sound right, but...what I'm trying to say is that I want to make it all up to you."

"You do?"

"Yes! I really didn't expect you to leave. I mean I did, but I didn't want to believe that. I didn't want to believe that I had been so selfish that I couldn't even see how much I had hurt you." 

“That was the hardest decision I ever made. Most days I battle with myself whether I made the right choice. All night I kept making deals with myself. If you came back, I would hear you out, and if it was good enough for me I would stay. But then you didn’t, so I said to myself ‘Give him another hour.’. An hour went by, and I said the same thing to myself. That went on for the whole evening until I found myself angrily packing my things. Even then, I sat by door on top of my suitcase for another hour or so.”

“I thought you just got up and left. I didn’t realise how long you waited for me.” he sighed into his hands.“I’m such a fucking idiot.”

I could tell he was full of regret. Although it sounded sadistic, I was glad that he was upset when reflecting on our past relationship, it meant he realised his mistake. On the other hand, I hated seeing him sad. I took his hands away from his face, hesitantly reaching into my handbag to pull out the engagement ring I kept.

His eyes widened.“You still have that? I looked everywhere for it when you left, guessed you took it to sell.”

“I won’t lie, that was my intention at first. But it meant too much to me. It was like selling a piece of my soul. I kept it hidden, I didn’t want to risk any of the girls seeing it, they would just ask too many questions.”

I kept my eye on the beautiful ring as I spoke, slowly twirling it around to catch it twinkling in the light.

"I had such a hard time picking that out. I knew what you wanted, but I had to get it right for you. I'm so glad you kept it."

"I did try to sell it. I was stood outside of a shop for ten minutes debating with myself. It would have helped a lot for the deposit on the room, but I couldn't do it."

We were silent, both staring at the ring. We used to do that a lot actually. Finn would take my hand and hold it up as we laid in bed together, both giggling as we watched it glisten like it was in present times, before squealing at the thought of us being married to each other. I constantly fiddled with it when he was off on business, a habit which never wore off, even now; whenever I was nervous or worried, I would automatically do the same action, just without the ring.

A waiter awkwardly interrupted us, and I hurriedly put the ring back in my bag, sharing an embarrassed smile with Finn as we ordered. Once he was gone, I quietly sighed, looking out of the window. We were in such a nice part of town, so many ladies in beautiful dresses and men in smart suits strolling around.

"Are you...are you OK for money?" Finn boldly asked.

I was a little shocked by that.

"I don't mean anything by it. I just want to make sure you're OK, I would hate for you to be struggling, if you were."

"Uh, no, no I'm fine actually. It's not as generous as my old wage but it keeps me alive, I can live with the bare necessities."

I could see him itching to say something else, to keep the conversation going. I wasn't sure if we could go back to the serious topic we had before. However, I also wanted to bring it back up, it felt like we needed to talk about us.

"How's the family?" That's all I could come up with.

"They're fine. Everyone is the same. Well, they're not, they're a bit more serious nowadays."

"They weren't in the first place?"

He smiled."I suppose they were. Tension is the right word, tensions have been rising. Tommy's taking on a lot more, Polly knows all these secrets that no one else does, Ada is rebelling against anything Tommy says, Linda is still annoying, Esme and John have been popping kids out left, right and centre. Arthur is still crazy."

"Sounds like business as usual to me."

"They miss you too."

"Do they?"

"Yeah. Almost as much as me."

I cast my eyes down as butterflies rose in my stomach.

"I heard nothing else for the next few weeks after you left. They all told me what an idiot I was, that I was an extremely reckless, stupid and immature boy, and that I had let the best thing in my life get away from me. And they were right. I knew all of that already."

"I...I don't really know what to say right now."

"You don't have to say anything, let's just enjoy this meal, no more of that talk."

The nerves making my stomach flip built at that. What if we had nothing else to talk about? What if it was too weird to dive into our separate lives? I didn't want to sit across my ex-fiance, painfully and politely smiling through forced conversation.

The spark was still there.

When the waiter had returned with our drinks, we were already deep in talk about what had been happening in our personal everyday life. We were non stop, even as we ate through dinner. The waiters had trouble catching our attention each time they checked on us. I was deep in those eyes again, the ones I always dreamed of seeing. We were laughing hysterically, not at all acting how we should have in that establishment (there were a few eye rolls from other patrons). As if time had gone by in a second, the bill was slipped towards Finn, though I still reached into my purse.

"Are you mad? No, put your money away, I'm not taking it." Finn stated as he carelessly threw down some notes, surprisingly taking my hand in his and guiding me out of the restaurant.

I was tense as we walked, and I saw a flash of realisation in Finn's eyes as we made it outside. Both looking down at our interlocked fingers, Finn broke away, clearing his throat.

"Sorry, force of habit."

Hesitating, I smiled up at him, lacing our hands together again."These are new heels I'm breaking in. Need help walking in them."

He chuckled, pulling me closer as we walked down the street. We were silent, feeling like kids in love again. I couldn't deny that my feelings were still strong for Finn, I missed him dearly. At first, part of me had been wary of all this, wondering if he really had good intentions, or just thought he could get a quick shag in from an ex before he left; but the effort he went through, the things we spoke about, trying to heal old wounds, Finn had matured and he was wanting to fix this. I wanted to fix this, my heart was aching for my old life with him. 

“We’re not done yet, are we?” I timidly asked.

“Not unless you want it to be.”

I instantly shook my head.“No, I’d like to stay out for longer.”

“Even though you’re struggling in your heels?”

I smirked.“I know a nice place we can sit down.”

I took him to the local park, it had a huge lake with benches dotted around, luckily it wasn’t busy, there was somehow a hint of privacy here. We sat down close to each other, hands still entwined. 

“You still hungry?” I asked.

“Hm?”

I dug into my purse, producing a bag of sweets I had bought the previous day. I laughed as his eyes lit up, taking one without even asking. I took one too, reminiscing on how we used to do the same thing as kids. It seemed he was thinking about it too.

“Just like the old days.” Finn said.

“We spent way too much money on sweets back then. It’s a wonder we still have our teeth.”

 “Wish I got out of that spending habit. We could be married and in our new house by now.”

“So you never wanted to move on? You didn’t give in to those girls wanting to be with a Peaky Blinder?”

“Never. I couldn’t. I couldn’t even fathom being with anyone else, it was always you (Y/N). Did you date?”

“No, I felt exactly the same. Which is why I was angry at myself for a long time. I was supposed to be upset with you, not still in love.”

His head whipped round to face me.“You still love me?”

My mouth was still open, unsure how to answer. It seemed I didn’t have to as Finn leaned in, placing on hand on my cheek as we kissed. Instinctively I kissed back, placing my hands on him where I could, hearing the bag of sweets fall to the ground and spill its contents. This kiss was needy, the type of kiss you gave your partner when you had missed them, when they had been away for a long time; and although we had our hands on each other, our touch was still gentle.

“Get the ring.” Finn breathed out, our lips still almost touching.

I carelessly got it for him, heart beating extremely fast. He took it from me, pecking me on the lips one last time before standing up. He straightened out his suit, took a deep breath and got down on one knee. I was just as emotional the first time he did it.

“(Y/N), I know I messed up everything in the past, I was careless when I should have been supportive and helped to build our future. I learnt from those mistakes, and I really, really want to go back to how we were. I need you (Y/N), I love you so much. There aren’t enough words to express how much love I have for you. Will you marry me?”

I didn’t need to think about my answer. I blurted out a yes, waiting for him to slide the ring back on my finger before throwing myself onto him. We stumbled back onto the ground, our arms around each other as we laughed and cried. I believed him this time, I truly believed him. He put in the effort to show me his changes, he wanted to fix everything. I wanted things back to the way they were with my man, and we were back to building our future and living the rest of our lives together.

[kkusuka]

What about a insecure reader about her and Ushijima's relationship since he doesn't seem all to interested in having her around unless it's for volleyball purposes. So when she starts to drift away from him he's super confused, suddenly Tendou becomes more comfortable to sleep on at movie nights, and Reon seems to know everything you used to tell Ushijima. And he struggles internally because he doesn't know what to do. And the last straw was when you walked in holding Goshiki's hand and he walked over pushing the 1st year away with a worried/pained/anxious face shaking his head saying no because he doesn't to no what else to say but he knows it's not right.

Muddle<3

relationship: ushijima wakatoshi x reader, slight oikawa tootu x reader 

words: 1.5k 

synopsis: Ushijima can’t bare to lose you. 

cw: insecurity

a/n: i havent written something like this in a while and i really missed it! 

Ushijima Wakatoshi was not emotionless.

Simple, but not emotionless.

It was something that had to be constantly reminded before people began to truly believe he didn’t feel anything. He’s had his many licks with emotion, as anyone else would. The joy of finding the one thing he truly loved doing; volleyball. The confusion when his mother began reprimanding him for using his left hand. The overwhelming helplessness when his father walked out the door.

Butterflies when you smiled at him in the hallway, the heat in his cheeks when he saw you in the stands at one of his games. The shake in his hands when he met you at the gates and told you his feelings, very detailed in facts.

Ushijima Wakatoshi was clearly not emotionless.

So why was it he seemed so indifferent to you?

You knew he had to feel something for you, people don't empty their entire heart just because they felt like it, at least you hoped. Of course, as much as he denied, you knew that you would be on par if not second to volleyball. In a sick way; you were fine with it as long as he came back to you and let you share some of his burdens, you were happy.

But as of recently, it seemed that he couldn’t even do that.

Gone were the nights he would fall into your arms outside the gym doors because he’s been practicing for five hours straight. The walks in the park when neither of you could sleep, ones that ended in his arms on the couch watching some random food network show.

So now, as you leone the couch, void of the warmth you so desperately crave; you can't help but wonder if it was only you who felt the distance between you.

Your door unlocked- just as you thought it would. Your boyfriend slipping through the door, eyes immediately finding your body draped over the end of the sofa. He could still see the dinner you had made, glazing over the dirty dishes, proof he was hours behind when he said he’d be here.

“Tosh? Is there any way we can spend more time together? It feels like it’s been forever since we’ve done something.”

“No. Nationals is arriving soon, I cannot do anything about my schedule. We are spending time together right now.”

If Ushijima was not emotionless; how was it so easy for him to dismiss you?

Did you and Tendou always have a Wednesday movie night?

Ushijima raked his mind for the last time he’d seen this; the last time he was in his dorm on a weeknight. He knew you and the redhead were good friends, close since the first year of high school. He remembered something about a sleepover before you had begun dating and the occasional dinner at some fast-food restaurant.

He understood both your and his love for anime, and the movies alongside. But if he hadn’t known any better, he would assume that it was to two of you dating, not yourself and him.

Clearing his throat, you both glanced from your spot, huddled on the couch, inviting him to sit beside you. It was nice, though he knew nothing about what was happening on screen, something about demons and a little girl along with a boy with boar head overtop his.

The second the credits rolled, you and Tendou engaged in a conversation that he couldn’t even begin to understand. Somehow ending in another plan to go out the next night for a store opening that will have a manga that you both like.

Finally, as Tendou left, you noticed how silent your boyfriend had been since getting there.

“Would you like to come with us, Toshi?” Would he? The ice in his eyes held the answer far before he spoke.

“No. I will be practicing.”

The statement seemed like nothing. A simple retort you’ve heard so many times you could predict what he was going to say before he did. The phrase forced the memories of laying alone on the couch and sitting at restaurants staring at the clock for what felt like-- and really was-- hours a night.

You could count o one hand how many dates that he’s been early too, or even stayed the whole time. That’s even when he accepted your invitation.

Your friend had warned you that you would feel like this, abandoned and thrown to the side. ‘Why do you stay?  Clearly, he isn’t treating you right, o find someone who will!’

“Just for a little? We haven’t been out for a while.” you plea, noticing how he was ready to walk away.it felt like ages since you’ve had an actual conversation.

“Y/n, don’t start right now. I am tired, and I have already told you that I am busy. Quite pestering.” pestering? Is that what you meant to him, were you a bother?

Tendou had always reminded you that Wakatoshi wasn’t good at feelings. He didn’t know how to put what he felt into words. You accepted that, you understood that emotions can be harder on some people.

But now, it wasn’t just feeling an word, it was actions. It was the missed dates he never apologized for, the charging past you after practice that he stayed overtime for. It was him turning his back on you before you could respond.

As you turn your eyes catch one of the photos you have taped to your wall, a selfie you and him took during a trip to Harajuku in May. You bought matching bracelets both with small flower charms on each, ‘a symbol of eternal love’, yeah right.

‘If you’re the only one putting in effort, it’s not a relationship, it’s desperation’

Ushijima Wakaothish may not have emotions, but he surely had one.

Jealousy.

Green and far too ugly to acknowledge.

He may not understand the butterflies when you smile or the warms when your hand locks with his, but he knows exactly what the burning in his veins is. The furrow in his brown and deeper frown than normal, he’s jealous, extremely at that.

A fact that anyone who looked at the man could see, his aura radiated exactly what he was feeling, a true sight to behold.

His mind was muddled, what right did Oikawa have to even share the same breath as you, never mind put a hand on you. His mind ran through all of the things he could possibly do right there, he could punch the brown-eye playboy, but then he would be in trouble.

He could make a big scene and yell at him, or he could do nothing, just watch as the Seijoh playing steals your attention. Suddenly he’s thrown into memory, Reon and you chatting at the lunch table. Like you’d been friends for years, the smile that was supposed to only be meant for him plastered on your face.

Then it was Goshiki and his blistered hands that you so dutifully wrapped for him, holding his hand so tenderly that Wakatoshi wondered if it felt like when you held hands with him.

Then to Tendou, your pro-claimed cuddle buddy.

Would it even be worth it to stop Oikawa? Has he already lost you to someone else?

He couldn’t let that happen, not when he still had a chance to keep you.

You were violently ripped from whatever stupid pick-up line Oikawa was spouting by two hands on your hips. Your entire body was pulled into a hard chest as the same two arms cradle you to his.

“Waka-”

“Don’t talk to what’s mine, Oikawa”

You’ve never heard him sound so angry, he practically snarled at the setter, turning the both of you and walking down the hallway to the ext before the brown-haired man ould even retort.

“Toshi are you-”

“Please don't leave me.” Another emotion you’ve never seen from the man, fear.

He was acred, losing you was the end of the world for him. What was he supposed to do if you aren’t there for him? Who will he look at in the crowd to keep him going during the fifth set? There is simply no one that can give him the rush you can.

“I know I’ve been bad, and I’m so so sorry. I can make up for the dates and we can go to the manga store and to dinner whenever you want. We can watch movies after practice and cuddle whenever! Just please don’t leave me for Oikawa!” he pleaded, taking your hands to his, holding you so tightly and yet like you were glass.

“Wakatoshi, I’m not leaving you. Please calm down, I’m not going anywhere.” You move your hands to cup his face, finally taking notice of the tears looming in his eyes.

And you smiled. The smile just for him, taking his head onto your shoulder, slightly rocking back and forth. His hands rubbing along the length of your back.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“I won’t let you.”

tags: @bakugos-cumsock @rinsangel