#let me just tell you as someone who grew up in a muslim country it is incredibly frustrating

[bisexualrapline]

i'm not trying to argue, i sent a message to someone i thought might understand why a fellow lgbt would be sad about jk and you just started a fight bcs your internet bf is apprently more important than ur own rights whatever honey

you literally told me to grow up and now you just said "whatever honey" and you're not trying to argue?

you don't know anything about me. you don't know my life circumstances you don't know how i grew up you don't know my own experience with growing up in a country that follows islamic law as a bi person with a friend group entirely made up of lgbt people even back then. i'm not trying to start a fight with you either lmao i literally just told you to come off anon because i don't want to divulge all the details of my entire life experience on my very public blog. but yeah you can continue to assume whatever the fuck you want about me lmao bye

[lingshanhermit]

Ling Shan Hermit: It's good he didn't become a rich second generation.

Do you know the story of Milarepa? He was an ordinary man, born into a wealthy family, but due to his father's early death, his family's wealth was seized, and he and his family fell into poverty. Out of resentment, he studied sorcery and successfully caused great suffering to the relatives who had plunged him into a miserable situation. He successively became a murderer, fugitive, and ultimately, a Buddhist practitioner. And he attained Buddhahood in his lifetime. If you want to know more about the story of Milarepa, you might go to read his biography and song collection, but today we're not here to tell stories.

I bring this up to say, a person just like you and me, he achieved Buddhahood. This is very interesting. Most Buddhists do not believe in the attainment of Buddhahood, let alone dare to imagine themselves achieving it. Just like Christians never fantasize about one day becoming God, Muslims never yearn to become Allah. Most Buddhists do not think they can become a Buddha, for them, the Buddha is the statue sitting in the main hall. This is understandable, most Buddhists are just followers of Buddhism, not practitioners. They do not study the Dharma, nor do they know the difference between Buddhism, Christianity, and Islam. If they were born in an Islamic country, they would without hesitation become Muslims. They become Buddhists not because Buddhism is "correct," but because they happened to be born in a Buddhist country. I believe such "Buddhists" would not be interested in what I have to say (they're not ready yet). I am speaking to another type of Buddhist, who understands the Dharma and is practicing, so they will understand what I am saying.

What I want to say is, after Milarepa, we no longer have any excuse for not achieving. He was just like you and me, he had been in love, he experienced all the feelings you have. He was not someone like Buddha Shakyamuni or Guru Rinpoche who were great from birth. If you are familiar with the lives of Buddhist masters, you may know that most of them were great from birth. This goes without saying for Shakyamuni Buddha, and even Padmasambhava—one of the most important founders of Tibetan Buddhism. His birth was extraordinary, being born from a lotus in the sea. He was different from the moment of his birth.

The extraordinary births of the saints provide us with a good excuse not to strive. We can say: we were not born in a lotus bud, there were no auspicious signs when we were born, no mushrooms grew in our homes, and no conch shell sounds were heard. It seems quite reasonable that we do not have the same achievements as Padmasambhava. But now, things have changed. There is a person just like you, born into a wealthy family. He was a thorough commoner, who even had a criminal record. Yet such a person achieved Buddhahood in just one lifetime (more accurately, according to the records, in twelve years). You can no longer say that you do not achieve because of your birth. Milarepa had no better birth than you. He made mistakes. If it weren't for such relatives, Milarepa might have just become a rich second generation, enjoying the family's wealth without any intention of renunciation. At most, he would have become a benevolent donor. It's hard to imagine what could have driven Milarepa to the path of liberation if it weren't for such relatives. Now, I want to get to the real point.

Many times, I'm not really sure about the goodness or badness of certain things. We are often driven to Buddhism by things that seem very bad. Many people complain to me about how unfortunate they are. What I am very certain of is, if you didn't find yourself in a bad situation, you might never think of the Dharma, you would never knock on the door of the Dharma. Your greatest fortune is to have these misfortunes.

Perhaps you've been seriously ill, perhaps you've been betrayed, or maybe you were defrauded by your best friend and ended up broke. I remember a Western nun, I think her name is Pema Chodron, a disciple of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, I believe. The reason she entered Buddhism was that one day when she was having afternoon tea, her husband came over and told her that he had another woman. So you really can't jump to conclusions. I believe those conditions that prompted you to embark on the path of liberation, those people, might be Bodhisattvas, or might not be. Perhaps you just have enough merits, which led them to act this way—it can be understood as your merit pushing them to do so.

What I'm saying is: Pema Chodron was truly fortunate, so her husband had an affair, fell in love with another woman, and led her to start seeking the door to liberation. This is indeed great fortune.

What is your understanding of fortune? A substantial income, a considerate wife, a harmonious family like an advertisement picture? Are you sure this is fortune? Would such a "fortune" give you a sense of renunciation? Milarepa was a very fortunate person, so he didn't become a rich second-generation heir. What I consider fortune are those things that can lead you to recognize the nature of samsara. If you lack fortune, no one will come to take away your wealth, giving you the opportunity to contemplate the suffering of samsara. If you have enough fortune, your fortune will keep reminding you of the suffering of samsara until you realize it. I know some very unfortunate people because they are too rich, to the point where they never think of practicing.

However, encountering such things doesn't necessarily mean you are fortunate. Many people make the wrong choices when they face such situations. So, if it doesn't guide you in the right direction, it's not a blessing. Fortune will bring you to the Dharma in various ways, and sometimes, it may seem quite cruel.

This article was first published on the Ling Shan Hermit's Sina blog in March 2011.

Copyright Notice：All copyrights of Ling Shan Hermit's articles in Simplified and Traditional Chinese, English, and other languages belong to the natural person who owns "Ling Shan Hermit". Please respect copyright. Publishers, media, or individuals (including but not limited to internet media, websites, personal spaces, Weibo, WeChat public accounts, print media) must obtain authorization from Ling Shan Hermit before use. No modifications to the articles are allowed (including: author's name, title, main text content, and punctuation marks). We reserve all legal rights.

灵山居士：还好他没有成为富二代

[mikoriin]

Hello Mikoriin! I saw your request for experiences of wearing the hijab for your character and I thought I'd chip in with my pov! (hopefully this helps!)

As a background, I'm a 31 year old muslim malay in Malaysia. I grew up with a pretty balanced muslim family of 7 children (i'm the second eldest). My parents are both from lower income families who got overseas education (scholarship) in the States back in the 80s. So while they're very strict with basic rules where the religion is concerned, they're pretty balanced and liberal in letting us decide what we want to do with what we're taught about the religion. (i.e they told us to wear the hijab when we were kids but they did say if we don't want to anymore when we're older, we're free to not wear it [though it'll make them sad]. They explicitly mention this as a sign of respect that we're adults who can decide what we want with our life at a certain point) .This is not quite the norm as far as I heard, so I think that has influenced me quite a bit in how I adapt to many aspects of Islam, including how I see wearing the hijab.

To summarise it, the hijab to be is a veil of protection. Ofc the texts tells us this is what is to be expected of us women, but I was also told that it is to give us the power of deciding who we want to reveal our crowning feature (or in some texts, it's actually described as the 'crown'), mainly it refers to our hair (as far as I'm told. I'm not an expert but it seems to be the case). To me at least, as someone who is very reserved and careful with others, I appreciate being able to feel like revealing this (a part of myself) is within my control at least. But I'm a pretty private person in general, so I think this works out the best for me too. And having something to be considered sacred really grounds me, personally. I've been told this is pretty old-fashioned but I like it at least T-T I feel very empowered wearing a hijab.

Between you and me, I've tried walking out without it and it just didn't feel right. I didn't appreciate the way people looked at me and their insistence that "you're better this way". I felt very... invaded in a way? If that makes sense? I ended up putting on my hijab again after and never took it off since (only when I'm really nauseous, sick or i'm in some kind of physical ailment and I need some air).

I also personally appreciate that as someone who is of a very mixed heritage and as someone who doesn't really feel like I belong in any category through my life, that I am recognised as being muslim from a single look. Even though these days it makes me a bit of a target when I travel to western countries and that can be scary, it makes me feel like I belong somewhere. Like I have some identity that I feel at home with.

Also, I realise that growing up wearing the hijab has really taught me what is considered beauty and I learned early on about what the public perpetuates as a standard of beauty isn't all there is to me at a very young age (way before the internet was talking about it). There's some sort of switch that turns on when you have to dress yourself with limitations. There's something weird about it that kind of makes you dig deeper because I can't dress like most of my friends do so I guess that makes me search for my individualism in an organic way. What I've learned has balanced me a lot and I really, genuinely enjoy wearing it. Not to mention the kind of things you can do creatively with a hijab is endless! And at most if I mess up, I'll be damaging fabric i can recycle into something else rather than my hair TvT haha. this works well for me who's not very good at handling delicate things like hair.

Also a plus is that you never have to worry about bad hair day lmao. I love being able to rush for my university classes way back when and just stuff my hair into my hijab instead of having to put products and protect it from the sun so this also appeals to lazy little me lmao.

So basically!! It makes me feel safe, makes me feel beautiful. It's convenient, it gives me a sense of identity. A sense of belonging. And it's my ultimate lady's tool to always look as clean and sharp as possible! haha. I hope this helps! Sorry for the long ramble :,))) I'm so excited to hear you're writing a hijabi character! Makes me so happy!

wow thank you SO MUCH for your input!! i think i want to incorporate some of these thoughts into heather's character if thats okay! i already have her wearing hijab because thats 1) how she was raised by her parents, 2) because she feels beautiful and confident in it and without it she feels naked. i personally have always thought hijabs were so beautiful and muslim women were so graceful and ethereal with their headdresses, and i kind of want to give heather a bit of that from growing up seeing her mom look beautiful in hijab. i havent designed heather's mom but i want her to be gorgeous for sure haha

i also did originally have heather's parents be kind of strict with their religion, but i think i might change it to where theyre still very devout, however theyre more lenient with it comes to how their children interpret their religion and what it means to them. heather is an only child right now, but maybe ill give her a sibling or two as i develop her and her family more! (definitely thinking i want elise to have younger siblings instead of being an only child)

but yeah thank you so much for this beautiful message and for sharing your thoughts with me it was really insightful!!

[automatismoateo]

Skepticism shouldn't stop at religion via /r/atheism

Skepticism shouldn't stop at religion

I saying this stuff because so many of us only seek to help. I'm one of them. If I think someone is being unfairly downtrodden I try to stand up and help however I can whether it's through advice or through resources. I can't do much these days, but I try. I'm seeing things here and there that make me pause though, and there's something I saw yesterday that now has me doing more due diligence than I used to.

​

This comment thread on this post got me digging into the comment and posting history of the OP and things didn't quite add up. They've received an outpouring of support from the community here, but their story doesn't match with what they've posted in the past, these are just some examples that were found. I try to take people at face value, and I like to assume that people have the best intentions at heart, but I also tend to assume that a group nominally made up of skeptics at heart would spot some flaws.

​

If someone's father is "insanely physically violent" then they don't storm off to cool down. They go straight into the beatings. It's one of the factors of abuse, they either don't know or don't care to use good coping strategies for their anger. Not to mention that if someone is in that sort of environment they take extra precautions, the odds of a 20+ year old female who grew up in a violent patriarchy not taking precautions against a known violently abusive man from a violently abusive faith structure in a violently abusive patriarchal culture with a Sharia government that condones putting apostates to death when discussing a topic that would give him an open invitation to straight up murder her and her brother is low to say the least. Even the comment she made replying to someone else's comment where her father came in through her bedroom window to beat her some time prior didn't make sense under Sharia law. If he's the patriarch, he can break down the door with officers in the house and they can't stop him. They might even help him.

​

I might be wrong, there may be a way to square all these circles, including the issues from her past comment threads, but I'm not aware of any Sharia law country that allows females to "dress sexily" and actively date with partners of their choosing, particularly with a physically abusive father involved.

​

That's on top of a recent uptick in a pattern I've noticed elsewhere, and I want to stress that this is entirely anecdotal. I do not have hard evidence for this, I do not have proof, this is just something I feel I've seen an increase of in some communities I've been in. Do not take this as wrote fact, this is opinion, as without data it's no better than a holy text telling you about the favorite ice creams of invisible sky wizards.

​

I've seen an increased number of posts and conversations lately from "ex-muslims" about the violence of their faith, not just on atheist forums. While I agree that it is a very violent and extreme religion taken at face value (though let's be honest, the Abrahamic faiths are more cult than religion in their purest forms anyway), the uptick in these posts and comments is worth noting. It almost feels like people trying to increase the spread of Islamophobia and fear of brown people rather than actually trying to escape their faith.

​

Those that are validly under Sharia law and being oppressed and brainwashed should ABSOLUTELY be helped however we can. Those who peacefully practice their faith without forcing their beliefs on others should be left alone (can't have freedom from religion without freedom of religion). Those who try to force their faith on others, regardless of which faith it is, should be pushed back against. But anyone who just tries to spread hate for the sake of spreading hate should be questioned heavily until their motives are stripped bare.

​

If the OP is validly in danger, then my skepticism hasn't done much harm as the only consistent advice given was to lie to her father. If she's not, then based on other posts OP is playing a game to spread hate and trying to take us all with them, and she's not the only one I've seen lately, just the only one I've noticed on this particular subreddit.

Submitted December 17, 2022 at 07:31PM by Khelbren (From Reddit https://ift.tt/6Cd4qAM)

[duchessonfire]

Warning: long post about what it can mean to be Jewish and my own experience of multi-cultural, multi-ethnic Jewish families

I've seen a few posts come across my dash unhappy with the Jewish representation in Moon Knight, calling it diluted and saying that it wasn't enough. These posts complained that they should have shown Marc Spector doing Shabbat, lighting candles, being more faithful to his identity as the son of a rabbi in the comics, basically giving more representation to the Jewish aspect of Marc's life (I won't go into the territory of not hiring a Jewish actor to play Marc Spector). I'm guessing that these posts stem from the truly despairing lack of religious diversity in Marvel and especially the lack of Jewish representation. And when I read these posts, I feel "Yeah, that's valid, I get where they're coming from."

But I'm also surprised that no one is at least giving kudos to the fact that Moon Knight basically showed a Latino Jewish family? Something that almost no mainstream media ever had the balls to do?

Oscar Isaac is a Latino American and the actress playing his mom also has Brazilian/Hispanic roots, which is a very clear directorial choice in terms of representation. That may seem like nothing to some people, but as someone who is NOT North American, I'm telling you how unique and refreshing it is to see this sort of Jewish representation. Jewish representation in US media (at least the type of pop culture I most see) feels very much centred around the Ashkenazi and/or Israeli experience of Jewishness. This is only part of the Jewish population around the world, and yet it is the one most commonly found in English-speaking media.

And let me tell you, as the French daughter of a Jewish man born in Turkey, I have never felt any sense of familiarity with these types of representation. My dad grew up in a family where people spoke Turkish, French, Ladino, English, Italian and Hebrew, in that order. They almost never did Shabbat because when my dad was growing up in Turkey, the country was still very much feeling the influence of Kemalism, which had Europeanized and secularized Turkey after the dissolution of the Ottoman Empire. Outward religious signs were frowned upon in higher parts of society and my father's family was mainly made up of doctors, academics and architects, so it was not culturally accepted to perform every religious ritual on a weekly basis, especially as a Jewish minority in a mainly Muslim country.

The fact that they didn't do Shabbat didn't make my father's family less Jewish, it was just a sign of them living in a particular country at a particular moment in time. When my dad came to France at 18 to be a med student, he shed more signs of what some people would call "his Jewish identity": he started eating pork, stopped celebrating most Jewish holidays and now, almost sixty years later, the only holy day for him is Yom Kippur, which he spends fasting, reading, praying and generally reflecting on his life. Anything other than that: Pessah, Rosh Hashanah... all of those were only marked by big dinners where my mom would prepare recipes from my dad's side of the family and nothing more (for Hanukkah I have vague memories of years when my mom would light the menorah but it stopped at some point, I don't know why).

And yet my dad is still as Jewish today as the day he was born.

I'm not Jewish myself, not only because my mom isn't Jewish, but because I don't identify my spiritual belief as Jewish. However, I have grown up in a household that was marked by the Jewish religion, just as it was marked by mom's Catholicism. Not only that, but I have a lot of the facial features that French people associate with Sephardic Jews, who are the most prominent minority in the area of Paris where I live (very dark hair, curved nose, etc.) and so I have often been signaled as being physically different from a lot of my French peers (never in a discrimatory way! Just in a "oh, your dad is Jewish? That makes sense looking at you" way).

When people think of "French", they don't think of people like me, the product of a multi-cultural, multi-religious household. When people think of "Turkish", they don't think of people like my dad, a Sephardic Jew from a Ladino-speaking background. And when people think of "Jewish families", they don't think of people like my dad's relatives who are still in Istanbul today.

So, when Moon Knight showed a Jewish Latinx family, two words that would seem incompatible for a lot of people, it was for me the first time I actually felt close to having my family's experience of multi-cultural Jewishness be put on screen.

Yes, let's advocate for more Jewish representation in pop culture and mainstream media. Let's also not forget to advocate for a diverse representation of Jewishness. Let's not forget that Jewish people are all around the world and that they don't just speak Yiddish or Hebrew. Let's not forget being Jewish is about more than performing certain weekly rituals or having religious dietery restriction. Let's not forget there are other ways to be Jewish than white North American, white Eastern European, or white Israeli.

[bogkeep]

hmmmmmmmmmm maybe i’ll write an Introspective Musing Post about my relationship to religion and their depiction in stories because i’ve pondering about this topic lately

so for those who are reading this and DON’T know what’s been going on...  there’s this webcomic i fell in love with some years ago, about six years actually, that depicts a post-apocalyptic fantasy/horror adventure set in the nordic countries. it had, and has still, some very uncomfortable flaws regarding racial representation, and the creator has historically not dealt very well with criticism towards it. it’s a whole Thing. my relationship with this comic has fluctuated a lot, since there are a lot of elements in it i DO love and i still feel very nostalgic about, and like idk i felt like i trust my skills in critical thinking enough to keep reading. aaand then the creator went a teensy bit off the deep end created a whole minicomic which is like... a lukewarm social media dystopia where christians are oppressed (and also everyone is a cute bunny, including our lord and saviour jesus christ). which is already tonedeaf enough considering there are religious people who DO get prosecuted for their faith, like, that’s an actual reality for a lot of people - but as far as i can tell, usually not christians. and then there’s an afterword that’s like, “anyway i got recently converted and realized i’m a disgusting human being full of sin who doesn’t deserve redemption but jesus loves me so i’ll be fine!! remember to repent for your sins xoxo” and a bunch of other stuff and IT’S KIND OF REALLY CONCERNING i have, uh, been habitually looking at the reactions to and discussions around this, maybe it’s not very self care of me but there’s a lot of overwhelming things rn and it’s fantastically distracting, yknow? like, overall this situation is fairly reminiscent of the whole jkr thing. creator of a series that is Fairly Beloved, does something hurtful, handles backlash in a weird way, a lot of people start taking distance from Beloved Series or find ways to enjoy it on their own terms, creator later reveals to have been fully radicalized and releases a whole manifesto, and any and all criticism gets framed as harassment and proving them right. of course, one of them is a super rich person with a LOT of media power and a topic that is a lot more destructive in our current zeitgeist, and the other is an independent webcomic creator, so it’s  not the same situation. just similar vibez ya feel as a result of this, i have been Thinking. and just this feels like some sort of defeat like god dammit she got me i AM thinking about the topic she wrote about!!! i should dismiss the whole thing!!! but thinking about topics is probably a good thing so hey lets go. me, i’m agnostic. i understand that this is a ‘lazy’ position to take, but it’s what works for me. i simply do not vibe with organized religion, personally. (i had the wikipedia page for ‘chaos magic’ open in a tab for several weeks, if that helps.) i was raised by atheists in a majorly atheist culture. christian atheist, i should specify. norway has been mostly and historically lutheran, and religion has usually been a private and personal thing. it turns out the teacher i had in 7th grade was mormon, but i ONLY found out because he showed up in a tv series discussing religious groups in norway later, and he was honestly one of the best teachers i have ever had - he reignited the whole class’ interest in science, math, and dungeons and dragons. it was a real “wait WHAT” moment for my teenage self. i think i was briefly converted to christianity by my friend when i was like 7, who grew up in a christian family (i visited them a couple times and always forgot they do prayers before dinner. oops!), but like, she ALSO made me believe she was the guardian of a secret magic orb that controls the entire world and if i told anybody the world would burn down in 3 seconds. i only suspected something was off when one day the Orb ran on batteries, and another day the Orb had to be plugged in to charge. in my defense i really wanted to be part of a cool fantasy plot. i had no idea how to be a christian beyond “uuuuh believe in god i guess” so it just faded away on its own. when i met this friend several years later, she was no longer christian. i think every childhood friend of mine who grew up in a christian family, was no longer christian when they grew up. most notably my closest internet friend whose family was catholic - she had several siblings, and each of them took a wildly different path, from hippie treehugger to laveyan satanist or something in that area. (i joined them for a sermon in a church when they visited my town. my phone went off during it because i had forgotten to silence it. oops!) ((i also really liked their mother’s interpretation of purgatory. she explained it as a bath, not fire. i like that.)) i have never had any personal negative experiences with christianity, despite being openly queer/gay/trans. the only time someone has directly told me i’m going to hell was some guy who saw me wearing a hoodie on norway’s constitution day. yeah i still remember that you bastard i’ve sworn to be spiteful about it till the day i die!! i’ve actually had much more insufferable interactions with the obnoxious kind of atheists - like yes yes i agree with you on a lot but that doesn’t diminish your ability to be an absolute hypocrite, it turns out? i remember going to see the movie ‘noah’ with a friend who had recently discovered reddit atheism and it was just really exhausting to discuss it with her. one of these Obnoxious Atheists is my Own Mother. which is a little strange, honestly, because she LOVES visiting churches for the Aesthetic and Architecture. we cannot go anywhere without having to stop by a pretty church to Admire and Explore. I’VE BEEN IN SO MANY CHURCHES FOR AN ATHEIST RAISED NON-CHRISTIAN. i’ve been to the vatican TWICE (i genuinely don’t even know how much of my extended family is christian. up north in the tiny village i come from, i believe my uncle is the churchkeeper, and it’s the only building in the area that did not get burnt down by the the nazis during ww2 - mostly because soldiers needed a place to sleep. still don’t know whether or not said uncle believes or not, because hey, it’s Personal) i think my biggest personal relationship to religion, and christianity specifically, has been academic. yeah, we learned a brief synopsis of world religions at school (and i remember the class used to be called ‘christianity, religion, and ethics’ and got changed to ‘religion, beliefs, and ethics’ which is cool. it was probably a big discourse but i was a teen who didnt care), but also my bachelor degree is in art history, specifically western art history because it’s a vast sprawling topic and they had to distill it as best they could SIGHS. western art history is deeply entangled with the history of the church, and i think the most i’ve ever learnt about christianity is through these classes (one of my professors wrote an article about how jesus can be interpreted as queer which i Deeply Appreciate). i also specifically tried to diversify my academic input by picking classes such as ‘depiction of muslims and jewish people in western medieval art’ and ‘art and religion’ when i was an exchange student in canada, along with 101 classes in anthropology and archaeology. because i think human diversity and culture is very cool and i want to absorb that knowledge as best as i can. i think my exchange semester in canada was the most religiously diverse space have ever been in, to be honest. now as an adult i have more christian friends again, but friends who chose it for themselves, and who practice in ways that sound good and healthy, like a place of solace and community for them. the vast majority of my friends are queer too, yknow?? i’ve known too many people who have seen these identities as fated opposites, but they aren’t, they’re just parts of who people are. it’s like... i genuinely love people having their faiths and beliefs so much. i love people finding that space where they belong and feel safe in. i love people having communities and heritages and connections. i deeply respect and admire opening up that space for faith within any other communities, like... if i’m going to listen to a podcast about scepticism and cults, i am not going to listen to it if it’s just an excuse to bash religion. i think the search for truth needs to be compassionate, always. you can acknowledge that crystals are cool and make people happy AND that multi level marketing schemes are deeply harmful and prey on people in vulnerable situaitons. YOU KNOW???? so now’s when i bring up Apocalypse Comic again. one of the things i really did like about it was, ironically, how it handled religion. in its setting, people have returned to old gods, and their magic drew power from their religion. characters from different regions had different beliefs and sources. in the first arc, they meet the spirit of a lutheran pastor, who ends up helping them with her powers. it was treated as, in the creators own words, ‘just another mythology’. and honestly? i love that. it was one of the nicest depictions i’ve seen of christianity in fiction, and as something that could coexist with other faiths. I Vibe With That. and then, uh, then... bunny dystopia comic. it just... it just straight up tells you christianity is literally the only way to..?? be a good person??? i guess?? i’m still kind of struggling to parse what exactly it wanted to say. the evil social media overlord bird tells you the bible makes you a DANGEROUS FREETHINKER, but the comic also treats rewriting the bible or finding your own way to faith as something,, Bad. The Bible Must Remain Unsullied. Never Criticize The Bible. also, doing good things just for social media clout is bad and selfish. you should do good things so you don’t burn in hell instead. is that the message? it reads a lot like the comic creator already had the idea for the comic, but only got the urge to make it after she was converted and needed to spread the good word. you do you i guess!! i understand that she’s new to this and probably Going Through Something, and this is just a step on her journey. but the absolute self-loathing she described in her afterword... it does not sound good. i’m just some agnostic kid so what do i know, but i do not think that kind of self-flagellating is a kind faith to have for yourself. i might not ever have been properly religious, but you know what i AM familiar with? a brain wired for ocd and intrusive thoughts. for a lot of my life i’ve struggled with my own kind of purity complex. i’ve had this really strange sensitivity for things that felt ‘tainted’. i’ve experienced having to remove more and more words from my vocabulary because they were Bad and i did not want to sully my sentences. it stacked, too - if a word turned out to be an euphemism for something, i could never feel comfortable saying it again. i still struggle a bit with these things, but i have confronted these things within myself. i’ve had to make myself comfortable with imperfection and ‘tainted’ things and accept that these are just, arbitrary categories my mind made up. maybe that’s the reason i can’t do organized religion even if i found one that fit for me - just like diets can trigger disordered eating, i think it would carve some bad brainpaths for me. so yeah i’m worried i guess! i’m worried when people think it’s so good that she finally found the correct faith even if it’s causing all this self-hate. is there really not a better way? or are they just trusting she’ll find it? and yeah it’s none of my concern, it’s like, i worry for jkr too but i do not want her within miles of my trans self thANKS. so like, i DO enjoy media that explores faith and what it means for you. my favourite band is the oh hellos, which DOES draw on faith and the songwriter’s experience with it. because of my religious iliteracy most of it has flown over my head for years and i’m like “oh hey this is gay” and then only later realize it was about god all along Probably. i like what they’ve done with the place. also, stormlight archive - i had NO idea sanderson was mormon, the way he writes his characters, many of whom actively discuss religion and their relationship to it. i love that about the books, honestly. Media That Explores Religion In A Complex And Compassionate Way... we like that i’ve been thinking about my own stories too, and how i might want to explore faith in them. most of my settings are based on magic and it’s like, what role does religion have in a world where gods are real and makes u magic. in sparrow spellcaster’s story, xe creates? summons? an old god - brings them to life out of the idea of them. it’s a story about hubris, mostly. then there’s iphimery, the story where i am actively fleshing out a pantheon. there’s no doubt the gods are real in the fantasy version of iphimery, they are the source of magic and sustain themselves on slivers of humanity in exchange. but in the modern version, where they are mostly forgotten? that’s some room for me to explore, i think. especially the character of timian, who comes from a smaller town and moves to a large and diverse city. in the fantasy story, the guardian deity chooses his sister as a vessel. in the modern setting, that does not happen, and i don’t yet know what does, but i really want timian to be someone who struggles with his identity - his faith, his sexuality, the expectations cast upon him by his hometown... i’m sure it’s a cliché story retold through a million gay characters but i want to do it too okay. i want to see him carve out his own way of existing within the world because i care him and want to see him thrive!!! alrighty i THINK that’s all i wanted to write. thanks if you read all of this, and if you didn’t that’s super cool have a nice day !

[ejm513]

9-11; MY STORY AS A CHILD WHO GREW UP CLOSE TO NEW YORK

I know it’s now 9-12 but I was working all day on the 11th and this just took me a long time to write...and I know this is now what I normally write, but I need to say what I need to say. 

When I’ve had a moment to look through Facebook all I’ve seen is people expressing how they remember where they were that day, where they were the moment they found out a plane had hit the North Tower of the World Trade Center and how they felt. 

I am no different I suppose-expect my story is I have no story. I was six years old on that beautiful sunny day. I was in the first weeks on Kindergarten. My school was either let out early or I was picked up early, either way my brother (who was one at the time) and I were brought home under the guise of the president giving us the day off because we were being good. It was just my dad, my brother and I until the evening because my mom’s place of employment wouldn’t let her leave early (just let that sink in for a second).

I only know this because I was told this about five years later, when my mom sat me down with a magazine that had the face of Osama Bin Ladin on it. I still remember that picture and the chills it gave me. I was lucky. I was sheltered. And yet despite that the horror of the day still haunts not just my life but all of our lives twenty years later. I was in Learning Center with twins who lost their father that day, and I’m sure they were far from the only kids I shared the halls with who lost someone. I spent what must amount to hours in lines waiting to get through airport security, holding my breath as I was being patted down almost every single time (a consequence of being short my pants bunch at my. ankles) and as they searched through my bag at least once (all I have was medication for a sinus infection). I know that’s more than what people of color and especially Middle Eastern people have had to endure, but it’s still unnerving having someone put their fingers in your hair because you chose to wear it up. 

My country has been at war for the majority of my life and I have had the privilege of being blissfully unaware despite having family in the military…. I don’t know how to feel about that fact.

My friends in college probably know this, but I live  in a town in Connecticut that is 30 miles from New York City-in fact my town in more or less a suburb of Manhattan. Whenever someone says they’re going to the city we all know they’re talking about New York. I’ve gone there at least once a year since I was six years old-the first time being three months after the attack to see The Nutcracker. 

I’ve actually see The World Trade Center, both in its ruins and as it was being built again. 

I was ten years old when I first went down there on a bus tour with my grandmother. We were doing touristy things that had included climbing to that top of the Empire State Building and in that moment we were bus a tour. The bus took us to a ditch/crater that was surrounded by a blue fence. People were walking around in there, what they were doing I’ll never know and I don’t think I want to know. I remember the tour guide saying “World Trade Center” and “Terrorist Attack” but those words meant nothing to me. I said nothing. All I could think was “Why are they taking us to a ditch?” 

Flash forward six years later and I am all too aware of what had happened almost ten years before. I was down there again, this time standing in the middle of a world being rebuilt. I stared up a creation that was attempting to reach to the sky in defiance of the horror of that day. Beside me was the same blue fencing, where a memorial was being built in the ruins of two giants. 

I remember the silence.

  Despite being in the middle of Down Town Manhattan and a construction site (though no one was working at that moment) there was something eerily quiet about the place, as if the world seemed to pause and stop the moment you entered it. 

The kid I was with had made comments about body parts being scattered there in an attempt to scare me. I snapped at him that it wasn’t funny-and it wasn’t funny because he was right. 

People may ask why we will keep bringing up this day, after all it was more than a life time ago. I do understand people use this day as an excuse to air their ugly hatred against Muslims who do nothing but live their lives as we do. I understand people use this day to dig into their fanatical patriotism which was someone who does consider herself a proud American I can’t stand. 

I understand… but I also say this to those who ask why; This day is for the people who woke up on that morning, hugged and kissed their loved ones goodbye and expected to return home after a mundane if beautiful day-whether it was in New York or in Washington D.C and never made it home. Some families never had a body to lay to rest.  

This day is for the firefighters and police officers who ran to the terror and horror while others ran away (not that I judge or blame them for a single moment). They are braver than I will ever be.They risked their lives and gave the ultimate sacrifice to save as many people as they could. Whole squads and companies were lost.  Not only that, this day is for those that survived and staid to dig through the rubble at the expense of their physical and mental health.

 This day is for the people on those ill-fated flights, who had boarded expecting to safely reach their destination. 

This day is for the people on Flight 93, who once again are braver than I will ever be. They decided to quiet literally look terror in the eye and fight back. These souls saved our country from what would have been a fourth attack on either the White House or the Capital Building, and lost their lives in the middle of an emerald field Pennsylvania. 

This day is for the innocent lives that were lost, and the brave souls who tried to save others and fight back. This day is to remember them and the fact they lost their lives in such a violent and senseless way. As a matter of fact did you know survivors are still suffering to this day? The first responders who lived to tell their harrowing tale are riddled with cancer or disabled.

That is why we remember and we must, and cannot ever forget that day. 

But alas it seems the country has forgotten. It seems to have forgotten how we railed together to rebuild what we lost and to support each other. Imagine what it would be like if we continued to lift each other up and support each other as we did in the days after. 

Like I said… I guess despite of never vowing to forget a lot of the country did. 

I leave you with this one last tid bit. 

After that day my mom made it a point to always say goodbye and I love you whenever one of us leaves or parts. She makes it a point to never go to bed angry and to always say goodnight and I love you.

 It all started after that day.

 Hug the ones you love. Let them know you love and if you are parting even for what seems a normal day always say goodbye and I love you. You never know what will happen. 

May the 3,000 souls who lost their lives continue to rest at peace with our Father above. May they and our Lord continue to watch over the ones who were left behind and the ones who survived. 

May they Never. Ever. be forgotten.

[hopetofantasy]

‘HUMO’s big youth survey - Politics, society and religion’ - With Nora Dari (part 2)

- TW: racism, neo-nazism, extreme right, police brutality, white privilege, ethnic profiling, Black Lives Matter - DONE PLAYING Tom Van Grieken and Dries Van Langenhove are second and fifth in the list of popular politicians. Vlaams Belang surpasses NV-A as the most popular party. Do you get their success with the youth? Céleste Cockmartin: “I’ve got a simple explanation for that: Vlaams Belang uses young language.” Nora Dari: “They’re on TikTok!” Bouba Kalala: “Politicians talk on tv like they’re the smartest people in the world. But when Tom Van Grieken sits down at ‘Terzake’, it’ll give you the impression that he talks like a normal person. Like he doesn’t read the answers from a sheet of paper, even though he also prepares everything.” Céleste Cockmartin: “It’s a shame other parties don’t do the same. Then the results of the survey would’ve been completely different. I can’t believe young people who vote for Vlaams Belang, really support their positions. You can spot it in the survey: they’ve got a more positive perspective regarding immigrants than a few years ago and before the activism. So they’re contradicting themselves.” Bouba Kalala: “They’re tired of all the bullshit. Even when they don’t agree with all the positions, they simply want someone to listen and not treat them as a small children. They’re taking advantage of that.”

Do your friends vote for the party? Bouba Kalala: “Not anymore, but I’ve seen old friends pose with Dries Van Langenhove on photos. Others might show off their SS-tattoo on social media and I’d run into them afterwards, at the Brussels Northern Station, in army uniform and with a machine gun in hand. (= The army still patrols some train stations in Belgium, as a safety measure to terrorism attacks). A very uncomfortable reunion (*laughs*). I grew up between sick racists.” Nora Dari: “That’s bad.” Bouba Kalala: “They saw me as the good black guy: ‘You’re not like that’. But they kept using the n-word constantly. I'd keep my mouth shut. My sister and I were the only black children at the primary school in Wolvertem. I saw a lot of racist stuff as a child.” Céleste Cockmartin: “Did you even realize it back then?” Bouba Kalala: “Yes, but the urge to fit in, was too big. I kept quiet, but now, I’m no longer silent. If my friends start a story with: ‘And then I ran into a black guy...’, I’ll object: ‘Is the color of their skin really relevant to the story?’. Then they’ll apologize immediately. I’ve got a different friend group than before.” Why did you stop being silent? Bouba Kalala: “Because of the Black Lives Matter movement. Something was always stuck inside me. I was obsessed with the Yellow Vests - a movement that finally dared to rise up against their government. When I saw these people protest on the street, after the murder of George Floyd - not one, but two, three, four days - I was done with letting people walk all over me. I’d been looking for a long time for something I could give my life to, and now I found it. Done playing, done with injustice.  Black Lives Matter isn’t solely about black people. It’s about people with a disability, a different sexuality, the muslims, who are still treated badly in Belgium, everyone who doesn’t have a voice.” Were you witness to the riots that happened after the Black Lives Matter-protest on the 7th of June? Bouba Kalala: “Yes. After the protest we drove home. When I saw what happened, I got out of the car: ‘Sorry, mom, I’ll take the bus’. I didn’t touch or break anything, but I had to see it with my own eyes. I didn’t want to hear the version of the media. I talked to these young people too: ‘You do know they’ll use this against you?’. Their response was: ‘We can protest obediently, but they’ll won’t listen to us anyways. Maybe they do now.” (*stops abruptly*) Sorry, I’m starting to rant, but it was one of the craziest days of my life. When I talk about it, I still feel the adrenaline flowing in my body.” Nora Dari: “I get emotional when I hear you talk about it. It’s deeply rooted within society to be an ass to anyone who’s different.” That’s what young people seem to realize too: 4 out of 10 are convinced the police use more force against a minority. Nora Dari: “I never feel safe near cops. You can’t fool me that there are just some bad apples. My little brother, who’s the sweetest 16-year-old in the world, doesn’t do anything wrong, just loves gaming all the time. But at least once a month he comes home with the message: “I’ve been pat down again”. I get angry, but it doesn’t bother him anymore. The indifference makes it even worse.” Have you got experience with ethnic profiling, Bouba? Bouba Kalala: “I was stopped by cops yesterday. While one officer started to talk to me, the other pulled the door open and sat down right next to me. ‘You have any narcotics with you?’ I couldn't resist answering: ‘Yes, cigarettes and a RedBull.’ He then searched the whole car. Very intimidating. By the way, I think it's not just about racism, but also abuse of power. But it is striking, that out of all my friends, I’m the only one who has ever gotten a cop in his car. All my friends are white.” Céleste Cockmartin: “I would love to live in a world where something like that doesn’t happen, a world where everyone gets equal opportunities.” Even if you had to relinquish some of your privileges? Céleste Cockmartin: “Yes. I want to contribute. I talk to friends who claim they support the Black Lives Matter-movement, but at the same time think that too much fuss is being made. If we don’t rise up to the streets, a lot of things will remain the same. I’d rather let those who are involved, speak their truths. I’ll support them from the sidelines. Though, I’ll admit: I’m constantly making mistakes, when I talk about it. (*To Bouba and Nora*) Hey, you can point this out to me?” Bouba Kalala: “No one should have to hold back out of fear of saying something wrong. It’s a sensitive subject, but no one will blame you if your message is well-intentioned. And I don't even want to think in terms of privileges. Please take every opportunity you get. All we ask is that we get the same ones.” 41 percent of youngsters think schools should pay more attention to the colonial past. Céleste Cockmartin: “I’ve got a lot of German friends: they are taught the history of WWII, year after year. We should follow their lead.” Should the statues of Leopold II be removed? 34 percent says ‘no’. Céleste Cockmartin: “I’m certainly not against removing them, but for me it’s not necessary. You could mention (on a plaque) what that man has done.” Bouba Kalala: “You’re right, you know. But if those statues aren't gone within a year, I'll take them down myself.” You’ve got Congolese roots.  Bouba Kalala: “My mom is Belgian and my dad is Congolese, but they got divorced early on and I’ve ignored that part of my roots for a long time. Until now. I was shocked when that discussion happened and people suddenly recoiled: ‘We’re not going to remove these statues, are we?’. Was I naive to think that we’re all opposed to what happened back then? Please don't tell me Leopold II has done a lot of good for this country.” Nora Dari: “Why would keep something like that, when you know it hurts so many people? You don't see a statue of Khadhafi anywhere, do you?” When I hear you all like this, you’re certainly the generation of action. Nora Dari: “I hope so. It would be bad if we would stay quiet, right now. If we stood still, with everything that is happening - racism, climate, corona - then we’re just cowards.”

[eirian-houpe]

I’d love to hear about your experience teaching in Cairo. How did you come to do that? What were your favorite and least favorite parts of it? And anything else you want to share!

Oh my goodness, where would I even start? It's quite the story, and it was quite the experience.  Let's start at the beginning... that seems sensible.

Before I was able to immigrate to the USA (another long story, perhaps for another time), I used to live in England. Through a long series of circumstances, which can basically be summed up by "US immigration rules," I ended up resigning from my full time UK teaching position. Finding a new job when the promised immigration did not happen was nigh on impossible. Then, one day I received a phone call from an agency who had seen my resume online and wondered if I would be interested in a teaching position that had just become vacant in Cairo, Egypt. After much deliberation - quite angsty deliberation as it turned out, I said I would be interested, and here's where everything gets head-spinningly fast.

As near as I can remember the details, I interviewed with the headmaster of the school via skype on a Tuesday. I was offered the position on the Thursday, and accepted the day after, following more soul searching. Later that day I received the E-ticket for the flight to Cairo, which was for the following Tuesday. I basically had the weekend to pack, and prepare myself to move.

The arrangements were that I would be met by a driver at Cairo airport, and driven to the hotel where I would be living for the first few days, until the school provided accommodation. So, I arrived in Cairo close to midnight, expecting to see a little guy holding up a board with my name on.

Nope!

After much wandering around, and with fewer people at the airport, I FINALLY found a dude wearing a CES shirt. (Cairo English School). He spoke no English. I spoke no Arabic. He called someone from the school and we were finally able to communicate via the third party... and I was at last taken to the hotel.  I remember thinking as we drove along that this could all be a ruse, and I could be taken away for human trafficking or murder or whatever. So arriving at the hotel was a HUGE relief.

The following morning, I was picked up by the school bus and driven to the school, quick chat with the Headmaster, and then introduced to the team I'd be a part of. There was a British ex-pat who had married a local, converted to Islam, and was quite the whirlwind. Her name was Sarah. An older gent on the team, think... grumpy old man, and you'd be right.  (Brian) and a guy called Mark who I bonded with almost right away. Turns out that I was replacing a guy who had been fired because of parents complaints about his conduct with the kids.

Literally, I was dropped in at the deep end. Met my class and was expected to teach. Teaching was through English language. On the whole they were good kids.  There are always one or two trouble makers in any class, but it wasn't bad.  They were lively though... a lot of them wouldn't stop talking, one kid in particular, who, after a few days I grew impatient with, and just told him to "Zip it!"  After school that day, my friend Mark took me to one side and suggested that I find a different way to get the kid to shut up. He explained that (close as makes no different), in Egyptian Arabic Zip-it meant 'Penis'  Mortified.  Yes!  After that, I adopted 'Button it!' Much safer. I also decided that learning some Egyptian Arabic might be an idea, and soon!

The next problem came when it was time for me to move out of the hotel into the school provided apartment... except there WAS no apartment. Apparently someone had missed the memo and nothing had been arranged - and now there were no remaining apartments. They said I could stay at the hotel, but I'd have to pay.

Nope!  Enter whirlwind Sarah to the rescue.  She lived in an apartment in a gated community called El ReHab. (Yes, we had fun with that one.  I ended up living in Rehab). She knew a guy that had an apartment. She took me under her wing... had the guy meet us at the place, which wasn't quite ready (needed a good clean) for me to move in, but which was affordable (i.e. would be covered by the housing allowance paid by the school), was in a relatively safe area, (being a gated community and all), and wasn't bad. I have some pictures somewhere, I'll have to see if I can find them.  It had a bedroom, a bathroom, and a kitchen/lounge separated by 'breakfast bar' It also had a washing machine - lifesaver. There was a balcony outside of the bedroom, and while we were there looking around, there was a tiny mewling sound. Turns out a kitten was stuck on the balcony. I would have loved to keep it, but I didn't because, what would I do after a year?  (Contract with the school was for 1 year). Sarah rehomed the little tyke.

The supermarket, and the Souk were within walking distance, although there was a (free) bus service within the city, and the number 5 bus went to and from the shopping district to my apartment area. (five is 0 in Arabic). I pretty quickly learned numbers. A must, because most of the shop keepers chose not to use English - and I guess why should they - even though they knew it. So, unless you could see the display on the register when you were shopping, it was hard to know how much the total was.  However, the cost of living, (in comparison with the US) was RIDICULOUSLY low.  For example, my monthly electricity bill came to the equivalent of about $5 US.

So it wasn't ALL bad - contrary to the way it might sound. Great kids, a good team, and the chance to learn another new language (and I love languages). I'd say I learned 'survival' Arabic at best, and can fully empathize with kids coming in to school as ESL. Sadly through misuse, I've forgotten most of what I learned. I remember 'I want...' and 'I don't want...' (Ana isa & Ana mish-isa respectively). I could probably still count to ten if I really think about it. But with my love of languages, I think this had to have been one of my favorite parts of being there.

Least favorite - being the object of racism - it's way different when you're treated that way, and makes you appreciate what others go through. I was once asked to leave my classroom (I was grading at the back of the class while the Arabic Studies teacher was teaching the lesson). The reason I was asked to leave was because I was not Muslim.

Most surprising - the cold. Say Egypt to most people and they think hot country. Deserts are DAMN cold at night... and in the winter... OMFG.  I literally had to sit 2 feet away from the space heater, wrapped in a blanket to stay warm.  Why?  Well the apartment was built to keep inhabitants cool in the height of summer... (because when it was hot, it was hot!). It was all marble floors and wall tiles, and not at all good for keeping heat in when it was needed.

Where other countries have 'snow days' etc., Egypt has 'sandstorm days'

Most disturbing - when I was there it wasn't long after the revolution, so there would be some days when we would get a call from the school to stay in our apartments and that there would be no school that day due to unrest in the society.

Also, one morning, I saw a man on campus who had a gun tucked into the waistband of his pants. Of course I reported it to the headmaster right away, and it was investigated.  Turns out that it was a plain clothes policeman.

Would I go back?  I want to visit for a vacation some day, do all the things that I didn't get to do because I was too busy teaching. The most touristy thing I got to do while I was there was a boat trip on the Nile.  It was a school field trip for geography lesson, and it was in the heart of Cairo.  Let me tell you, that water was NASTY.

Would I want to live/work there again.  No, really I wouldn't. And driving in Cairo... Hell no! New York driving x10 doesn't even come close... maybe if you crossed NY driving with Stock Car racing, you'd come close. Those drivers are SCARY!

It was an experience, and I don't really regret doing it. I think I learned a lot from being there... about people, and about myself.

Thank you for a brilliant ask!

[monstrunderyourbed]

Remembering

Today marks 19 years since a heinous act of hate performed in the name of a religion that preaches peace. It forever changed this country. In the wake of those horrible events, some people in the country rose to the occasion and showed the best American can be. Others showed the worst we could be. Unfortunately, the worst seems to come out in some people again and again and they use the memory of that trauma as an excuse. So, on this day of remembrance, I like to remember not just the tragedy and those that it spawned. Not just the act of terrorism and those of use who allowed the terrorists to win by sewing hate and distrust amongst ourselves. I like to remember the story of how a single act of grief and compassion 19 years ago, grew into something lasting and beautiful.

After the events of 9/11, the Reverend of my church (I wasn’t a member back then, but for simplicity sake I’ll call it my church) reached out to the local Mosque and asked if they’d be willing to join her congregation for a memorial service. They were very pleased to do it. The two communities came together to sing, weep, and pray. Together, they started to heal. Since that day, our church and the Mosque have maintained close ties. We have women’s and a men’s book clubs that meet together, women’s and girl’s basketball teams that play against each other, and once a year each hosts the other for a joint service in honor of love, hospitality, community, and acceptance.

After the 2016 elections, a Jewish temple in our community was badly vandalized. Their windows smashed, signs broken, and words and symbols of hate painted all over. Our church volunteered to help clean up and asked their friends at the Mosque if they’d be willing to help too. Of course, they said yes. Members from a Christian church in the area came too. A group of Unitarian Universalists (including Christians, Jews, Pagans, Humanists, Agnostics, Atheists, and whatnot; I know we’re a weird religion; just call us interfaith and go with it) joined together with Muslims, Christians, and Jews to clean up the aftermath of hate, to comfort and reassure each other. The Rabbi and the Minister of the Christian church found out about our church and the Mosque’s interfaith activities and decided they wanted a piece of that action. The Rabbi said the women of their community had an annual women’s retreat and perhaps the women from the Mosque and our church would like to join forces for that? The Minister said an interfaith girls basketball league was a great idea. Could they play too? The Christian church was mostly immigrants and first gen people. So much so, that their services are entirely in Spanish. They said hey, if you help teach some of our folks English, we’ll teach some of your folks Spanish. A year or so later, the four religious communities decided that they could do a charity effort together and began a “warm nights” program. During the winter, they take turns hosting local homeless folks who need shelter and a hot meal.

Two years ago, during service while Rev. Liz was hiving her sermon, someone walked in with a cellphone is his hand. To everyone’s surprise he walked straight up to Rev. Liz and interrupted her service to hand her the phone. She listened quietly for a moment, her face grave, and then said, “Tell me what you need.” Then after another moment, she nodded and said, “You got it. Hold tight.” Handing the phone back she stepped back up to the podium. Looking at her congregation she said, “ICE has camped out in front of the [Insert name of Christian Church]. They aren’t going into the church, but they’re waiting for service to end so they can arrest people as they come out. I’m going to end service now and ask any of you who are willing, to go over there with me. Bring your cell phones. Let’s make sure ICE knows that God, and the world, is watching them.” Just about the entire congregation went. Every hippie, Wiccan, Pagan, Ex-Catholic, and crunchie-granola mom said “not on my watch.” On the way they called their friends at the Temple and Mosque. They said that Allah and HaShem would be watching too. They would not stand by while their friends were frightened and trapped in their own house of worship. The UUs, the Muslims, and Jews descended on those ICE agents with cell phone cameras, congregants who were lawyers and social workers, decorated veterans, stern grandmothers, hijabis, wide-eyed children, trans, gay, straight, non-binary,  and every color or type of human you can imagine.  

These were our friends. They were part of our community. They belonged here.

Inside the church, people were in tears. Terrified. Outside their was a wall of people around the ICE agents. Not trapping them, but blocking their view of the doors and standing in between them and the path that most of the people would need to walk to get to their cars.

I am please to say that no one in that church was even questioned by ICE that day. They seemed to decide that it wasn’t worth the scene they’d make. After all, even their most conservative supporters might take issue with interfering with a church service.

This is what America should be. This is what it looks like to live up to the ideals we claim are ours. This is the America I want us to build. On the bedrock of grief and pain and hatred that terrorists put down in this country, I want to build a better America with healing and peace and love. 

TLDR; After 9/11 a UU church, a Mosque, a Jewish Temple, and a Christian Church of primarily immigrants banded together to support eachother and their community. This is the opposite of what the terrorists wanted to have happen. So today, please don’t let the terrorists win again. Don’t let them make you spiteful and angry. Instead, remember that a tiny gesture of peace can help to build a bond that will change your community. It has in the past. It can again. 

[kirishimas-manly-eyeliner]

Okay feel free to ignore this if you want it’s kinda just a huge rant thing about me thinking that my brothers might be racist so uh yeah, debated on being on anon for thsi or not for like ten minutes cause there some real personal stuff here. Kinda been bottling this up for a while and for some reason you seem like a good person to tell it to.

Tw cursing btw

So I’m white, might be a little sprinkle of Cuban but honestly have no idea besides that I’m white as hecc. I have four brothers, I’m also adopted, but because when I was adopted my biological brother wasn’t adopted too because he was already a adult. But my biological brother (just gonna call him bb if I refer to him again) is not white, we have different dads. I’m very much white and he’s black? I don’t really know, never asked and didn’t really see it as something important. I love him for him, his skin color never mattered in that. But if I had to describe it he’s a lighter black, maybe Arabic or Cuban? And most of my friends throughout my whole time living where I do, most of my friends are black, or Hispanic. So, as you can assume, I have lots of sympathy for POC. I have no idea what it’s like and try to support my friend any time they are put down for their skin color. (I may or may not have punch a kid once cause he said a friend of mine was disgusting and should “go back to her sick country” cause she’s a Muslim, apparently the kids grandpa died in 9/11 so liek I guess I can see where it’s from but like, dude……)

So I have three other brother, live with two of them cause the other moved out for college. So, now to the two brother might be racist part. Prepare to be pissed off 👍 /hj . So, when all the protests started at the begging of quarantine, my family talked a bit about it cause we had nothing else to do.

and these two straight, cis, white teens had the damn arrogance to BOTH say that they were “bullied for being white” and yeah, one of them was bullied very bad as a kid, but like??????? No?????? Just, no????? You are a cisgender white straight man????????? Who is considered attractive by most of your peers?????? YOU ARE NOT BULLIED, THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN TIME WHERE SOMEONE TRIED TO SHAKE SOME SENSE INTO YOUR ASS THAT YOU LITERALLY ARE THE MOST PRIVILEGED PEOPLE IN AMERICA SINCE THE FUCKING BEGINNING AND YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SAY THAT YOUR MADE FUN IF FOR IT??????? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?????

And MY shy ass didn’t say a damn thing because “it’s not my place to talk, I’m white as heck and have never been made fun of for being white”

And also, “racism it’s the even a big thing anymore”??????? PISSES ME OFF WHEN EVER I THINK OF IT TO NO END

Like, first of all, IF THERE ARE PROTESTS AND PEOPLE ARE BEING KILLED FOR BEING BLACK THEN I THINK RACISM IS STILL A THING !!!!!

Second, YOU ARE A MAN, A CISGENDER MAN!!!! BOTH OF YOU!!!!! MEANWHILE AT THE TIME I WAS STILL CLOSETED SO YOUR SAYING THIS SHIT IN FRONT OF YOUR “SISTER” WHO HAS SAID THAT “SHE” WAS PUT DOWN A NUMBER OF TIMES FOR BEING BIOGRAPHICALLY FEMALE BY BOYS WHO THREW ROCKS AT GIRLS IN FIRST GRADE????? WHO LITERALLY HAS A SCAR FROM A SHARP ROCK THAT WAS THROWN AT MY BACK BY SOME KID IN FIRST GRADE???????

THIRD, YOU ARE CIS GENDER!!!! Hey hey hey, buddy, imagine not being able to go outside without worrying that you’ll get killed while walking to the dollar tree because you drew a non-binary flag on your arm the other day and couldn’t rub it off!!!!! How great does that sound :D /s

Fourth, you are STRAIGHT!!!!!!! BEING THE GAY ONE IN THE FAMILY IS KINDA HARD! And then how much it hurt seeing them make jokes about slapping each other’s asses, and making fun of a kid cause he sounded gay (who literally became homophobic because of it, as a kid he was supportive of it, but now is sorta homophobic because he’s straight and has been made fun of for people thinking he’s gay), TOOK THE “pedophiles are being added to LGBT” FUCKING SERIOUSLY

LIKE, I WASN’T OUT AT THE TIME AND THEY STOPPED MAKING JOKES LIKE THAT AFTER I TOLD THEM, BUT THEY ARE SO HORRIBLE SOMETIMES I SWEAR!!!! I AHVE NO IDEA HOW YHEY GREW TO BE LIEK THIS BECAUSE MY MOM ALWAYS TELLS THEM TO FUCKING STOP BECAUSE ITS OFFENSIVE AND RUDE, AND MY DAD SHOWS THAT HE DOENST LIEK IT EITHER

so that’s my Ted talk, moral of the story, if your a straight white cisgender man stop complaining about it.

tw: racism, homophobia, transphobia

THAT SH!T PISSES ME OFF WTF

(DISCLAIMER: okay y’all, to be clear: i’m in no way bashing anyone who’s straight or cisgender. this is talking about the topic in general and how people have negative influences on others, but it’s not directly related to them being white, straight, and cis-- it’s about the way that they’re handling it and how immature those people are. please don’t be offended if you fit into any of those categories.)

okok, thanks for letting me know all of this info boo! just wanted to let you know that you’re one heck of an amazing person and i think you’re so so strong for still being here. so pls oml, GIVE YOURSELF A PAT ON THE BACK BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT! and hey, despite all you’ve been through, i can’t stress HOW thankful i am that you haven’t let it get to you. you’re not a cold-hearted and rude person and that just fills me with so much love for you because that’s just such a beautiful thing. 

BUT NOW.

THE BROTHERS.

BAE I AM SO SORRY.

now now i’m supposed to be loving and kind to everyone, but this- i- i don’t know how to sugarcoat this. 

they are white.

they are cisgender.

and they are men, straight men, at that.

AND THEY HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SAY THAT THEY’VE BEEN BULLIED FOR BEING WHITE??

I JUST BLACKED OUT FOR A SECOND THERE

LISTEN, I KNOW THERE’S BEEN A LOT OF DISCRIMINATION LATELY. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A VERY SWEET, KIND, AMAZING WHITE GUY GAL OR NONBINARY PAL SAYING THAT THEY GOT BULLIED IN GENERAL? THAT’S OKAY, COMPLETELY OKAY.

BUT IF THEY HAVE ALREADY CROSSED THE LINE MULTIPLE TIMES AND THEN CHOSE TO THINK ABOUT THEMSELVES FOR “being white??” like honey come again, what did they say?? like did someone go to you and say, “yooooo guys, i’m white!” and use their fingers to make their eyes bigger? and yet it’s okay when you, you stupid cis white straight man make your eyes smaller and say “ch*ng ch*ng” and sing it to a bunch of asian kids?? is that what it is to you?

CHERRY I AM SO SORRY WTF THAT MUST BE TERRIBLE

and then.

i am trying so very hard not to scream rn because i can FEEL your pain through this ask.

and tHEN THEY SAY “racism isn’t a big thing anymore.”

...i’m sorry, did i hear you correctly?

racism isn’t a big thing anymore?

RACISM ISN’T A BIG THING ANYMORE???

RIGHT, RIGHT, HOW ABOUT YOU TELL THAT TO THE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WHO FOUGHT FOR BLM AND ASIAN LIVES AS THEY SCREAMED FOR JUSTICE?? HOW ABOUT YOU TELL THAT TO THE PEOPLE WHO’VE BEEN MURDERED JUST FOR BEING IN THEIR OWN SKIN?? HOW ABOUT YOU TELL THAT TO THE PEOPLE WHO’VE LOST FAMILY AND FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY WERE JUST BEING HUMAN.

AND THEN THEY DON’T RESPECT YOUR PRONOUNS??

i’m literally about to cry right now, that’s so messed up

AND I AM SO SORRY ON BEHALF OF WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH, THIS MUST BE SO ROUGH RIGHT NOW AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TERRIBLE THIS MUST BE FOR WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH.

BUT YOU

ARE

A 

STRONG

AMAZING

OVERLORD

AND I AM VERY VERY PROUD OF YOU

FOR FIGHTING AND CONTINUING TO BE KIND TO OTHERS

ILY VERY MUCH AND I THINK YOU’RE A NEAT PERSON, REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE VALID. YOU ARE SO VALID. ILY. 

[the-velveteen-victorian]

Elle can you explain what goth is? Google is really inconsistent and I’m having such a difficult time understanding it. When did you find out you were goth?

Definitely! This is a long response just so you are prepared. =) Goth is a music-based subculture. You are correct… Google is not a good resource for discovering what goth is. Unfortunately, a lot of “goth” guide books aren’t either (I know one of them features a lot of emo bands?). First off, let’s just get out of the way what goth is not. Goth is not emo or metal. Avenged Sevenfold, My Chemical Romance, and Pantera are not goth. Goth is not white supremacy. Yes, those of us with naturally pale skin sometimes strive to keep our skin tones light, but goth is a home to people of all skin/hair/eye colors. Anyone who says you can only be a pale, white person is disgusting. Goth is not associated with any religion, philosophy, political inclination, or specific belief system. There are Christian, Hindu, Atheist, New Age, Shinto, Muslim, Republican, Democrat, Green Party, pineapple on pizza, no pineapple on pizza goths. You get my point. =)

Wearing goth fashion does not make someone goth, no matter how great the outfit may be. I (and most goths, elder and younger) define goth as someone who has an intense interest and passion for goth music. That’s it. Sure, most of us will gravitate toward darker aesthetics and like to wear the fashion when we can, but it is absolutely NOT a requirement. That is what google gets so wrong. One of the goth ladies I know spends 80% of her time in scrubs. She loves her job as a nurse practitioner and she has to have a more conservative look while she is working. She can’t wear the fashion more often than a couple times a month. She listens to goth music every day and is super knowledgeable about it. Is she goth? Yes. Conversely, I know a lot of teenagers who are trying to figure out who they are (which is TOTALLY FINE). They actually do a really great job of diy-ing goth looks, but they do not listen to goth music at all. Most of them listen to metal, emo, or country music. Do I consider them goth? No. But I do not judge them for it. Music is about what speaks to you and goth is in no way superior to any other musical taste.

With the rise of “pastel goth” and fashion trends on tumblr/social media, I think a lot of people get misled. This is why it is so important to have some level of contact with the actual goth community. Covid showed us that it is possible to do this online! We can attend online goth nights, get the set lists and analyze goth club music trends from our homes, and have zoom dance sessions! I really love the flexibility and versatility that the pandemic revealed to the goth community… because a lot of goths don’t live in cities with a big goth scene.

How did I discover I was goth? By beautiful accident. =) I was 15, and I struggled to have any level of autonomy or self-expression at all. I grew up in a conservative family (Christian/religious) cult. That rabbit hole runs deep and is a separate story for another time. The point is that I had very limited contact with the outside world apart from my private school, church, and Christian-group violin lessons. However! I received a nano ipod from an extended family member for Christmas one year. I copied a bunch of CD’s from Christian acquaintances at my church and filled the ipod up with the generic contemporary Christian and overstimulating broadway musicals endemic to the culture around me… it was all I had. Then, one day I discovered a goth band. I had no idea they were a goth band. I was obsessed with their sound. I can’t remember which platform I found them on, but I remember I did not have a video with it… so I’m thinking I was on the itunes store. I had chills and for the first time every something felt “right” in the music world for me.

Goth music begets more goth music… Itunes recommended other bands like the one I had found. I only had the money to buy a few albums over the course of a year, but I would retitle the songs and albums as Christian or Disney compilations so that my parents would never suspect what I was listening to (they regularly went through my ipod to make sure I wasn’t listening to anything worldly). One day, I was listening to some of my goth music with another confirmed atheist at my private Christian school and he was like, “OMG I had no idea you were a goth!” I was super confused and was all like, “No, I’m not. I don’t even know what that is…” This guy was a metalhead, but he had a ton of goth friends and he gave me my first thorough education on everything goth. I was 15 at the time, and it was not until nearly 4 years later that I would escape my family and truly come to integrate in the goth community.

Long story short, I started out with the music with no clue about the fashion. I think I was very fortunate in that because it gave me time to develop my musical preferences and tastes without feeling pressured to fit into a tiny little box. Later, when I was free, I did develop a goth wardrobe and (of course) decorated my house in a dark romantic/Victorian style…. But I never felt like those things were vital to who I was as a goth. I’m really thankful for that.

Please understand, that I do not want to erase the incredible goth fashion magicians out there or diminish the hard work someone may put into their personal look or aesthetic. The goth aesthetic is the heartbeat behind the unparalleled, transcendent feeling I have in a goth club or just in my own bedroom. It definitely adds to the experience. All I am saying is that those things alone do not a goth make. I also grew up obsessed with (gothic) Victorian literature... it took me awhile to put 2 and 2 together for that one too lol.

My controversial opinion here is that I do believe that some level of gatekeeping is necessary to keeping goth alive today. Unfortunately, it is an endangered species as subcultures go… this is not because there are not any goths. It is because the mainstream has appropriated it and defined it as fashion ONLY, which then confuses people who go to the surface level of the internet to get answers… which then creates a whole following that erases what goth truly is.

However, I need to explain that when most people refer to gatekeeping, they are talking about bullying. I am defining gatekeeping as providing a definition for the heart of the goth movement and sticking to it. Bullying is never acceptable. Ever. The example I employ a lot utilizes musical genre as an example. Let’s say you put on a Carnifex t-shirt and wear it a lot. But…. You don’t listen to metal because it just is not your sound. You don’t talk to other people about metal music, seek out the aesthetic, have more than 2 songs on your phone with metal music, or (want) to attend metal events. Are you a metalhead? No, of course not. But are you inferior to metalheads because you choose to listen to classical and hip-hop music? No, of course not. Another example: Let’s say you don’t like coffee. You don’t regularly drink it, read about it, or have an interest in it. Are you a coffee enthusiast? No, of course not. Are you inferior to those who do drink coffee? No, of course not. But it would be ridiculous to feel pressured to fit the mold of a coffee enthusiast, right?

It is never wrong to define what something is and to stick to your guns on it as long as you do not cross over into elitist territory, thinking you are better than everyone else. That is the point I want to get across here. Goth fashion does own my heart, but I also sometimes dress in dark academia, cottagecore, dark mori, and even in 80’s retrofuturistic styles when the mood strikes me. It does not change my involvement in the goth community or erase my love for goth music.

Lastly, a question I get a lot (and I have addressed this in previous posts) is, “I am obsessed with goth music… I have a wide knowledge base that I have spent great amounts of time developing and it is my life… but I also like Lil Peep, Lady Gaga, ‘gothic’ metal, and Lana Del Rey. Am I still goth?” The answer is YES. Of course you are! Loving goth music and being obsessed doesn’t mean you can’t like other things. Anyone in the goth community who tells you have to ONLY listen to goth music is full of crap. Eighty percent of my ipod is goth music… I am lucky to have thousands of songs. (And by the way, if you cannot afford a lot of goth music, you are not less goth than the rest of us. Listening for free is just as valid.) The other twenty percent is classical and synthwave/cybersynth/retrowave/darkly inclined/spacewave/video game sountrack/cyberpunk-inspired stuff. Am I any less of a goth for also being obsessed with the retrowave community or for listening to bands that are darkly inclined but not quite goth? No, of course not. Also, you can be darkly inclined without being goth, and that is just as beautiful. =) My husband is darkly inclined and likes some goth music, but he is more involved in the horror community. He is no less valid and freaking awesome than I am.

I hope this makes sense! This is a subject I feel passionate about. Just to recap, the pillars of fashion, gothic literature, and general aesthetics are valid in the goth scene and contribute greatly to the structural integrity of the whole. However, the soul of goth is in the music. I have hearing loss myself and have a couple of friends who are completely deaf who also agree that the music is the soul of goth. The way they engage is by reading the lyrics and even going to goth clubs when they can to dance and feel the beat. =) I think that is beautiful and so amazing. Hearing disabilities do not disqualify you from the goth scene- anyone who says they do is garbage.  

Here are a couple of videos explaining a bit about what goth music actually is. Let me know if you would like more resources! Angela Benedict did a video where she answered the question, “Can you be goth and not like the music?” Her answer is also no. She is a great youtuber to watch because she was there for the 90’s goth scene! It is so fun to hear her stories and learn about the elder goth generations. <3

Goth music is not just goth rock… there are SOOOOO many subgenres under the massive umbrella that is goth. It is a big universe to explore. =) If you would like a list of some of my favorite goth bands AND goth adjacent bands, then I can do a separate post for that- just ask! Thank you for tolerating my info-dumping. =) <3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKDo_j0O-hA&t=116s – Accumortis on goth music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGj3CuAeW1w – Angela Benedict on goth music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zg3HwuFlGeU&t=587s – Angela Benedict on defining goth

[batfamfucker]

I have never understood the argument that trans people literally just living their lives and transitioning to become who they've always truly been is sexist. "It takes us back 100 years" NO IT FUCKING DOESN'T!!! TRANS PEOPLE MERELY FUCKING EXISTING DOES NOT ENDANGER FEMINISM!!! Stop making it about you. Women who were assigned male at birth are not fucking misogynistic for fucking transitioning and stating so is transphobic. You are not brave, you are not raising awareness of a 'terrible issue', and you are not a true feminist if you agree with JKR on any of this. JKR is not a hero, she is not some God send who's 'finally standing up for women during this misogyny', she is a transpbobe who is being protected by bigots, wealth, and childhood nostalgia because some people don't want to believe that the books they grew up reading were written by someone with a moral compass made of such cheap fucking plastic it could break with even the slightest of insecurity.

The term "People who menstrate" is not sexist, it is not taking anything away from cis women, it's just inclusive to trans men and non-binary people. Stop saying shit like 'if you menstrate you're a WOMAN' or 'only women menstrate' because, not only is that trans erasure, but it proves that you do not believe trans men to be real men, or trans women to be real women, or even some fucking cis women to be real women because guess fucking what!!! Some cis women don't menstrate!!! For a variety of reasons!!! That doesn't fucking mean they ain't women though does it???

Stop hiding behind fake feminism to support your transphobia the way that fake 'Christians' hide behind religion to support racism, homophobia, etc. That trick is getting old.

Feminism was created to allow women to be equal to men, but, like every movement, it had evolved and adapted to become more inclusive due to the needs within society through different time periods. Modern feminism is not just about women being equal, it's about everyone being equal and no one being discriminated against due to gender inequality, that includes women, non binary folk, and men. And before some of you @ me by saying men are not oppressed, I understand they have significant privilege, but can you look me in the eye and tell me that men don't also have unrealistic standards placed on them, that toxic masculinity is not a thing, and that society does not expect things from men that are unfair and unjust just because they are men? Hell, me even having to make a post about this issue proves my point because ya'll won't even keep your mind open for two fucking seconds to realise that trans men are real men, and having gender neutral terms for menstruation is vital to ensure that they feel safe and accepted within our society, it is not women erasure to support trans people, but claiming it is is fake feminism.

And if you're so opposed to fighting for men too, as this suggests you may be, then go ahead and fight for just women. But if you're going to do that, fight for ALL women. INCLUDING trans women. Not just white, cis, straight women. If you clearly care about all women, as you claim to from the glass pedestal you've put yourself on, show it by actually fucking supporting ALL women. That means trans women, that means queer women, that means women of colour, and women who have other religions beliefs than your own. I better see you supporting black lives matter and black women, I better see you standing up against the dangerous stereotypes that Muslim women face, I better see you fighting against homophobic dealth penalties in countries where being gay is still illegal and punishable by death for queer women, ect. Fight for these women the way they have fought for you, for the way trans women have fought for you, even as you still fight against them. We're on the same side so why the fuck are you fighting them? You've got the wrong target.

If you want equality, then fucking prove it by fighting for equality for all women, not just equality for you. Because let's be honest, you don't actually care about people's rights unless they're your own, that's what this is really about.

So to JKR, and anyone who 'stands with JKR', with all due respect, of which you are due none, fuck off. Just fuck off. Take your 'subtle' transphobia and your fake ass 'feminism' and keep it away from me. Stop making this about you, I know some of you are bored during quarantine but you can't seriously be desperate enough to start the pettiest beef for even an ounce of the putiful attention you crave. Grow the fuck up, mind your own business, and stop dragging trans people when you have literally nothing to do with their lives, because, shockingly, their lives do not revolve around you. Find something actually meaningful to do with your life, travel the world, follow your dream career, maybe even write a book. Or, maybe, don't, because if you're supprting JKR, I can only imagine how it'd turn out. Don't want to let another generation of kids down when they realise the author's a terf now, do we?

[earlgreymon]

[askgame] 37 - worst advice you ever got?

originally asked by @tangledupblue, thanks!

with all due respect, please only proceed if you feel like tolerating cultural/religious/value differences. and pardon if i don’t convey my thoughts properly as english is not my first language.

i got this advice from a co-worker just before i left the office to pursue a master degree down under.  i was the youngest on my team and this was my first job, so i treated everyone like a senior to me with so much respect. this co-worker’s a male, almost 10 years older than me, and was married.

we’re muslims and we were having a meal together in the afternoon to end our fasting period (i don’t know if you guys are familiar with the term iftar or not…). we fast together a lot, so that was why we’re kinda close. at least i was comfortable to tell him that i never had a boyfriend before nor dated. (my parents were quite strict back when i was in school, and when they actually allowed me to have one, i was too focused on other things like fangirling so… yeah lol. long live asian parents!)

he knew that i was in the middle of preparing my resignation letter, and that’s where he decided it was a good thing to give me an advice… which turned out to be the worst advice ever.

he told me, “you have to be careful. you got your bachelor's degree from the best university in our country, now working at one of the most prestigious offices with such a great salary for a fresh graduate, and you’re going to take a master degree abroad with a scholarship. you set the bar so high that you will have a hard time looking for a husband.”

that kind of advice is just toxic for me.

i came from a country with a strong patriarchal culture. most men believe that women should not bother to pursue education as high as possible because in the end they will only become a housemaker. they always said it’s because of the traditional values and because of islam as the predominant religion. i think this is such a misleading concept; the kind of concept that some people use just because they’re already comfortable with their current roles.

i cannot say much from the perspective of the traditional values, as my country is made of more than 1000 ethnicities and each of them has different values. i grew up in a quite traditional javanese family myself, but my father never gave me such advice. on the contrary, he was my biggest supporter and even encouraged me to get that scholarship and master degree.

i may not be the most faithful one, but from what i learn about my own religion, women have such a high degree before the god. it may be true that a woman has her duty to her family, including her husband, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have the liberty to reach the highest career and education possible. we even have stories about the prophet's wife who was a great businesswoman. she was a hard worker and that was why our prophet fell in love with her.

on the other hand, people often look down at women who decide to be a full-time mother and homemaker, but i think they were the most difficult job on earth. they work 24/7, even rarely get some sleep just to make sure that her family is safe and okay.

imagine also a career woman who still has to take care of her family after she gets home. my mother does that up until now, and she’s the strongest woman i know.

and, imagine how lucky the children are if they have a mother with higher education. they will be taught by such a smart woman!

i didn’t really respond to my co-worker back then since i was hungry for not eating the whole day, but i can confidently say that there’s nothing wrong being a woman who has a great career or a high education. don’t let anyone stop you to chase your dream. and i believe i will eventually find someone who loves me just the way i am. at least for now, i have my family and non-toxic friend who supports me to keep on going 😉

[ignisiel]

Your name is yours.

So, I was talking about this with my friends yesterday and it’s been on my mind a lot, so I wanted to share it here. It’s how important your name can be, and something that my trans and nonbinary friends really helped me realize.

My name is Mohammad and I live in the southern US. The most common name in the world, named after the Prophet (PBUH). Most people, since I was young, when they first met me would start calling me Moe. My name, as some people have put it in the past, had too many syllables. It was hard to pronounce or took too long to say. As a kid, I didn’t think about this too much. I grew up and it was a minor annoyance at most unless I was already angry about other things.

Then 9/11 happened.

From that point on, I would usually just go by Moe. When I placed an order at a restaurant and was asked for a name, that’s what I’d tell them. I’d just let people call me that. It made things easier. I didn’t have to worry about anyone being nervous around me or feeling like I didn’t belong because it wasn’t a simpler (white) name. I didn’t have to be afraid that someone would hear my name and decide I didn’t belong on this world, so my life was in less danger.

I wasn’t the only person to do this either. People named Ibrahim would go by Abraham or the even easier Abe. Mariyam would go by Mary or May. A lot of Asian people I knew would find the most “American” (again, basically “white” names) version of their names they could. If there wasn’t one, they’d just pick a different name. This would happen with someone named Jihad who would instead go by John or James or something like that.

It was a few years ago that the main friend group I spent time with had a lot of trans and nonbinary people in it. They told me their names. In most cases I don’t even know their deadnames at all. I know their correct names and their pronouns. In some cases with genderfluid friends, they’ll tell me to use a different name on different days. I would. Simple as that. It’s what got me thinking though, something that I hadn’t put a lot of thought into until then.

“If they are able to use their names, the ones that are really theirs, their pronouns, then I can use my name too.” It was a turning point for me. I realized how much I really hated being called Moe. How it was me being afraid and ashamed of my real name, a name I actually like. 

It wasn’t just the name either. I would say I’m from the US, and avoid talking about my ethnicity or that my family is from Palestine, because that country has “a lot of controversy surrounding it”. I’d stay quiet, try to take a neutral stance or even a more conservative one so that people could see I was “one of the good ones”. I denied I had ADHD so neurotypicals wouldn’t need to adjust to my annoying tendencies. I never really stopped to consider how much of myself I was hiding. My friends helped me realize that, and it’s let me be more proud of myself.

My name is Mohammad. I love my name and I’m proud of it. I hate being called Moe and will correct people every time they cal me by that. I am a Muslim. I am Palestinian. To the Muslims, Arabs, LGBTQ people, neurodivergent people, and the rest of my family in this world who feel they need hide themselves out of shame or fear, I love you all.

[naliya]

the thing is the western left thinks only people raised in islam or in countries where it is a majority can criticize it because white people don't understand it enough to be able to criticize it and that most of the time it's an excuse to be racist, and that criticizing openly is dangerous since they're oppressed in the west and it could lead to a rise in hate crimes/discrimination

That’s… simplistic.

I’m not going to go into details about internal vs external criticisms, because frankly I have been over that so many times, I don’t really have the energy to repeat myself once more. But in short: I think abandoning the middle ground to the extremes is dangerous, cowardly and has been shown not to work in the past decade. I believe that it would be more productive to let people have this important conversation rather than shutting it down, because at term, this approach only ensure that the only voices heard aren’t yours. 

At the moment, the only people that are appearing to defend the values that we hold dear are those who really shouldn’t be given such a platform on a silver platter to soar on: namely fascists on both sides who usually don’t care, but will do a good job pretending that they do to gain ground. And what do you think people do when nobody aside from them seem to be defending them? What do you think is the risk for a teenage girl like Mila, who’s brain isn’t fully formed yet, if the only people who seem to be defending her are right wing extremists? Ask yourself this question and figure out whatever or not you like the answer. 

The alternative to that is accepting that ideas are not people, that ideas cannot be hurt, that ideas don’t have rights and ought to be opened to be criticized, lampooned and scrutinized, and since I fail to see how that’s hateful in itself, I also fail to see why we can’t collectively decide to try it. 

That being said; the idea that western leftists are accepting of internal criticism just… isn’t remotely true. I wish it was because then at least we’d have a template to work with, and someone’s voice would be heard, but we really don’t and so here we are. You cannot claim that western leftists let Muslims be critical of the doctrines they grew up with when Ayaan Hirsi Ali is routinely called a racist for criticizing the culture she grew up under, when Maryam Namazie was deplatformed and bared from talking on college campuses, when Maajid Nawaz constantly has to fight against people calling him alt-right with no evidence to back it up…. etc… And god forbid you are Zineb El Rhazoui (the most protected woman in France, who cannot even live at the same place for more than few months at a time) and tell people that the veil is not just this cute cultural item but also an instrument of control in the country she was born in, because then you’d be too busy sorting through insults to find people even interested in hearing you, let alone finding any support. And what of Raif Badawi, the blogger, still being jailed for the crime of criticizing islam, all of that in complete indifference from the woke crowd. Does his life matters? Does his freedom? Or only just ours?

I’m not saying there is no discrimination against Muslims in the west, because it’s obvious that there is, but, firstly I do not think acting like there is only one islam and that all Muslims are some sort of hive-mind that all think the same and are all offended by the same things is going to do a lot to humanise anyone. Because when people act like criticizing the Quran is the same thing as criticizing Muslims that’s pretty much what they are implying (and how that’s not racist, I’m not entirely sure). And secondly, it’s not a good reason to rob people who suffer in other parts of the world, from the tools they need to defend themselves; just because you do not see their tears, does not make them matter any less.

Show me one example, just one, of an eastern atheist, a reformist of islam, an apostats (etc… etc…),who’s ideas are celebrated and given visibility by social justice twitterers, instead of being called Uncle Toms and Native informants, and then maybe I’ll give it to you.

But until then, I’m not buying it.