#life would be so much simpler if somebody told me what to want and how to get an A+ at it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

akutasoda · 3 months

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Can I request Sunday with Noelle reader?

Reader will guide every guest and tell them everything she knew in Penacony, since her job is tour guide.

But in reality, she want to be a knight in Xianzhou Luofu but failed every test dispite she work so hard on it.

Reader is from Luofu, but travel abroad to study life more and try to gain some experiences.

Sorry if my request is weird…

atleast someone believes in me

synopsis - after rejection from the cloud knights you seek a change of pace but there's someone who sees your potential

includes - sunday

warnings - gn!reader, reader is based on noelle, reader is from the xianzhou, fluff, slight angst, rejection?, wc - 1.6k

a/n: your request isn't weird at all!

taglist - @teddirika

failure hits hard for most people, especially when it's somebody's first attempt at achieving their dream. failure becomes a deterrent, planting the idea that their dreams can no longer be accomplished - which can be untrue but since they would be too focused on their failure they can no longer focus on how to improve. people who experience failure often seek comfort in settling for something easy, something that they won't fail at.

you were born and raised on the xianzhou luofu. you grew up alongside the cloud knights and would regularly watch them on patrol and sometimes would even sneak out to watch them fight a wandering mara-struck. your eager curiousity did not go unnoticed by your guardian, who managed to catch hold of somebody willing to grant you some basic training. it boosted your dedication to becoming a cloud knight and eventually you took your training into your own hands.

day in and day out, you would spend toiling over your techniques and ensuring they were perfect. you had a deadline, your birthday was soon approaching and as soon as that passed you would be allowed to join the cloud knights if you're skills passed the test. admittedly you became so wrapped up in your training that you often would forget basic needs but you were determined to become a cloud knight.

your birthday could not have come any sooner. the day after, you were straight out of bed and headed down to enlist into the cloud knights - a few people you knew had recently also enlisted and passed the tests, they told you how you would have no issue and you believed them. when you got there, they accepted your initial application and told you that if you passed the physical trials you would be welcomed into the cloud knights. all those nights, days and evenings had lead up to this very moment. the moment where all your training was meant to pay off and help you achieve your dreams. was... was meant to.

you don't know why or how but you were denied, you were told you're skills just weren't what they were looking for but nothing more. rejection hit you immediately. it tore out your dreams and replaced them with a sense of hopelessness - how could you spend so much of your life dedicated to becoming a cloud knight just to be rejected, surely that meant you couldn't achieve anything right? you returned home with dry tear streaks that were soon replaced when you shut the door.

some may say you overreacted but the rejection really hit you hard. you felt ashamed to still be living on the luofu and desperately searched for elsewhere, you needed a fresh start is what you told yourself. brief words had been overheard about a world called penacony, where dreams can come true. even though your dream was to become a cloud knight, you doubted that could become true and so maybe you could settle for something simpler.

you gathered what little money you had and left for penacony in shame. when you arrived you immediately inquired with the hotel lobby staff about any potential jobs that could be gifted to you - you made sure to specify that they could be anything. one of the workers left for a brief moment before returning and telling you that there was a few jobs available inside the dreamscape. you didn't really care what the job was you just wanted something to distract you from the pain of your rejection from the cloud knights.

unfortunately the only job available was a tour guide. you weren't native to penacony and this was infact your first time even in penacony but it seemed like an opportunity, you could bury yourself in mounds of research into penacony to become a tour guide and not think about the cloud knights. after a long time with bargaining with various officials, you managed to land a job as a tour guide - the only thing you had to do was research all of the dreamscape before your first ever shift.

your habit for hard work had led you to spend hours upon hours staring at the maps of penacony and its dreamscape, reading all of it's history and eventually becoming acquainted with some locals who told you some tips. on your very first shift, you were paired with a young silver haired girl who introduced herself as firefly, she was a fellow tour guide and offered to oversee your first shift to make sure you were good to go. she was a sweet young girl and even complimented your knowledge of penacony even as a newcomer to the land of dreams.

due to your extensive studies, you becane extremely well versed in the knowledge of penacony and it's history. very quickly, more and more newcomers would request your tours as word spread very quickly about your tours. this time as a tour guide served well in gaining experiences and opportunities to learn something new, those that took your tours often would become very chatty. you met all kinds of people from all other the galaxy, except they all had similar reasons for turning to penacony.

you still thought about the cloud knights from time to time. you'd watch the bloodhounds from time to time and they vaguely reminded you of the knights, not by much but enough to drag up unpleasant memories. sometimes you did wonder that if you trained a little bit harder you could retake the test and become a cloud knight - however the idea of failing again would only put a greater shame on you and you didn't want that.

the dreamscape become a comfort to you, the job as a tour guide was alot more fun than anticipated and you enjoyed meeting people from all walks of life. unfortunately, you had now spent a long time in the dreamscape and started seeing the truth beyond golden hours flashing lights and slot machines. one of your tours had been ended abruptly when the person you were helping around slipped into a deeper pocket of the dream - you soon followed just in time.

you were met with familiar yet unfamiliar scenery but what quickly caught your attention was you're tourist being attacked by some kind of walking television and robotic dog. you didn't really think about your actions and instead opted to charge straight ahead to protect the tourist. out of pure habit, you still carried some kind of weapon from your cloud knight training days and it finally payed off - you made quick work of the weird figures and made sure to check on your tourist before looking for a way out.

you wandered the distorted halls with your guest, always keeping them out of harms way but it seemed your saviour came in the form if a certain silver haired halovian. sunday had heard about a tour guide and their tourist being captured into a deeper pocket of the dreamscape, and because it was a more dangerous zone filled with all sorts of memes he figured it would be best if he went himself - it would also help to silence the wanderers.

what sunday wasn't expecting was a trail of dead meme's which eventually lead him to you and your tourist. he was rather impressed a tour guide such as yourself was so capable with a weapon. he made quick work of escorting the two of you into golden hour and sorted out the toruist before turning to you, 'you appear to be quite well versed in combat for a tour guide' he started.

before you had a chance to answer he continued, 'your skills would befit the bloodhounds more no?' you simply shook your head and replied 'my skills are merely acts of self defense nothing more'. sunday frowned slightly before taking a quick glance around golden hour, he turned back to you with a proposition

'it may be optimistic of me but could i offer you some more work? payed of course.' you knew what he was getting at and you sighed before responding

'with all due respect mr.sunday, i don't have an interest in attempting a carer for fighting' you looked down slightly to avoid his gaze which seemed practically suffocating.

'that's a shame then, a tour guide with your skills could be effective in helping those curious enough to get lost in the corrupt parts of the dreamscape', he smiled before continuing

'it shall still be an offer if you wish to accept, but for now may i extend my personal thank you for keeping a paying visitor safe'

sunday's offer really toiled with you for a while. the cloud knights back on the luofu rejected your skills but now somebody was praising them - you felt more inclined to believe the cloud knights. but maybe this was what you needed, it was a fresh start and you were being offered it so sunday wouldn't turn you down right? it would appear not as when you showed up at his office he seemed like he had been expecting you because truth be told, sunday was enamored by your willingness to help those you do and more importantly you're skills in combat.

he had read your employee file, it had all your basic information and when he found out you originated from the xianzhou, he couldn't help but wonder why the cloud knights hadn't scouted out your exceptional skills. however, if they weren't going to help you utilise your skills, he would.

#—stellaronhvnters.#x reader #x gender neutral reader #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x gender neutral reader #hsr x you #hsr x reader #hsr sunday #honkai star rail sunday #sunday x reader

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ihavenothingtodo10220 · 4 months

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do u ever think how in life we are told to aim for so much success and reach our full potential but then every other average person including celebs, idols etc etc are or have already done so, so why should we also need so much wealth or why should we need to put ourselves out there.

im constantly torn between wanting a simple affordable life that id be happy with maybe in the countryside (but its not affordable nowadays to live simply we still have to slave away) and the other side is that i have a need to constantly prove myself and to gain some type of recognition cause we are always told from kids to aim for the top paying jobs etc etc, most of that is what celebs have or do. i mean it cant always be that great what do rich ppl keep buying for each other dont they run out of things to own eventually cause they already own most rich people items?

fair enough if celebs and idols have talents but i dont im not even remotely pretty enough to do whatever it is they do but again its alwayd the what if i wouldve done things differently, maybe it would feel less narcissitic to want a bit of what celebs have if i already had done something differently yonks ago

the other issue is i no longer feel so attached to society if at all like i dont care to succeed i dont care to fail, im neither fussed if im alive or dead it just dont matter to me anymore, in the end the only thing thats going to happen is i will eventually pass away so no ones exactly going to miss me even in death or heaven as people still have their own lives i wouldnt or havent been anyone special at all

its almost saying how it only matters if its someone rich and famous so we have to be a somebody in order to be remembered otherwise we generally end up being a nobody as it is the way the internet goes into meltdown when celebs pass away as if it wasnt to be expected at some point. but if we arent on social media or we dont have a following we honestly do not matter even if we dont have partners or social group either like im so irrelevant no one gonna notice bar immediate family if i stop existing rofl

the way we have to do everything via a screen and screens are everywhere doesnt help me at all cause i feel further distanced from folk and like i dont belong, i dont need nor want a following but its almost being forced on all of us like people.

even idols cant do anything without needing to show their fans but the idols wouldnt notice every single fan to ever exist would they? all the interactions with celebs that fans have is always monentary or beifly. stays even treat bangchan like a long term permenanttherapist friend. yet neither if them truly know one another, so why do we get so attached to the idea of having thoughts and feelings towards someone whos never going to know us so again it dont matter if we do or dont exist as long as these idols and celebs briefly have enough fame for them to get by

but then what am i someone who just does nothing for a living cause i dont want what others want out of life if that makes sense? i either end up feeling like im from the wrong era dont belong with my generation dont belong with next generations would probably have preferred being in previous generations when things were simpler and affordable

sorry if this ask is a bit morbid, nihilistic or pessimistic i have so many mixed thoughts and feelings about existing lately what do you think? i mean obviously there is much narcissism in the world as it is so wouldnt we just be adding to it? am i just having nearly mid life crisis early? idfk anymore

Honestly people tell you to aim high because not only is it the best way to survive, but also because you can easily improve things. Many people who’ve done a lot were considered sub par, and the main reason they did was pure spite to the people who looked down on them and had more, and then they eventually became those people. It’s a cycle, and it’s human nature. And in this society, whether we like it or not, only the successful can truly be sure they can make it. Even middle-class families can easily crash and burn in the blink of an eye with losing their job and end up without anything to eat. But the successful don’t really have to worry about that, because they have a lot to fall back on. Things are also getting more and more expensive, and only the wealthy can really keep up with that. It’s sad, but reality.

And yeah, I think fans put so much pressure on idols because they’re just that. Idols. They idolize them and see them as these perfect beings far above any and everything, and they delude themselves into thinking they can be with them one day. So if an idol makes one wrong move, or dates someone, that false image comes crashing down. You don’t see that in the west simply because we don’t idolize celebrities to that same capacity. To us they’re not necessarily idols, and they’re much more open about their humanity.

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itsawritblr · 2 years

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Colin Farrell, 'Banshees' cast talk Oscar contender's rare depiction of male friend break-up: 'It's a punch in the stomach'

Via Yahoo:

Given the rabid success Martin McDonagh has had with films like 2008’s In Bruges and, especially, 2017’s Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (recipient of seven Oscar nominations and two wins), it would be fair to assume the 52-year-old British/Irish playwright-turned-filmmaker can crank out award-worthy scripts with relative ease.

So it’s notable (and refreshing, honestly) to hear Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson, the stars of McDonaugh’s latest winner, The Banshees of Inisherin, reveal how much of a work-in-progress this year’s surefire Oscar contender was at different points in time.

Farrell first read a draft as far back as seven or eight years ago, he told us in a joint interview with his Banshees and In Bruges costar (watch above). Gleeson didn’t quite understand the motivations of his character in those early drafts. “It wasn’t quite developed in that way,” Gleeson says. “But when it came back, it was sensational.”

Banshees is the best thing McDonaugh’s done yet: It’s a delirious, hilarious, charming, moving and only slightly violent (especially compared to his past films) tale set on a tiny Irish island in 1923, with a Godot-esque plot that couldn’t be simpler on the surface. One day, seemingly out of the blue, the dim but lovable Pádraic (Farrell) is told by his best friend and drinking buddy Colm (Gleeson) that he no longer wants to be friends. Worse, Colm tells the dumbfounded but tenacious Pádraic, who won’t let their friendship go so easily, that if he keeps pestering him, he’ll chop off his fingers, one by one, every time Pádraic tries to talk to him.

“It’s a punch in the stomach,” says Barry Keoghan, who plays the “village idiot” Dominic whom Pádraic reluctantly turns to for company. “It’s so sad … it’s just kind of devastating.”

It’s also part of what makes Banshees so brilliant: We’re used to seeing romantic break-ups portrayed on screen, but when have we ever seen about male friendship where one man breaks another’s heart?

“It’s not just a romantic thing that we need people,” Farrell says. “To have people in your life that you can lean into, that understand you, that feel like, beyond words, they see who you are. It's a huge thing. And if you feel that level of comfort, and if you feel that level of deep simpatico with someone, and that person decides one day to remove themselves from your life, it’s a gaping hole.”

“The devastation is huge,” adds Gleeson. “And it’s not really discussed very much. So there aren’t really any conventions to deal with it. If you go up [to someone] and say, ‘I’m getting divorced, I’m completely devastated.’ [They’ll understand.] But you can’t really go up to somebody and say, ‘Listen, my friend doesn’t like me anymore’ without feeling a little bit odd.”

@victorianwestpiano

#Colin Farrell #The Banshees of Inisherin

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evelyne-am · 1 year

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April 4, 2023

day 22.

Remember when I said that Sir didn’t say a single word after our run through. Even though it was real shit, he just told us to have a good weekend. But I knew in my heart as everyone else did, that there was more to that, and that we found out as soon as we entered in our fourth week. Sir has been in a horrible mood because he hais revealed that that Run broke his heart and now he wants to change everything again. This will be the 5th change, and the third draft. I don’t know who read this but our first draft was so different with multiple first persons, I second draft was one first person and three third person is describing it. Second draft also included switching the protagonist from different ages so somebody would play the young age and somebody would play older. in the third version I did have a small speaking role, the smallest one but I was playing it for the purpose of rehearsal for the past two weeks. But today it is announced that the Messyness of multiple roles and multiple dialogues is getting too much he is cutting it out to be simpler and and the multiple actors for one role is possibly going to be cut. Before the acting and casting things happen, though, Sir changes the entire choreography that we have been working all over the last couple of weeks but actually we were almost getting down. Remember the Burpee‘s thing that’s already gone don’t know if that’s good or bad I was kind of getting fond of it. But God damn do I love it when he changes things. I get to see how his mind works when he adds suctracts and move things around. The intro is now absolutely stunning and lovely and subtle and beautiful. Spoiler alert, the first person you will see on stage is me. As we are doing the entering sequence The director is reminding me without saying anything that there were issues raised when I opted in for the play. Two things were mentioned about me being able to be in the cast; number one my posture, I have absolutely horrible posture something that I’m so ashamed of. 2 number is my pronunciation because Bangla is not my first language, but having said that I have been singing this language my whole life, even though I don’t read and write so fluently I do know how to pronounce words on stage and so I think that part is not the issue. But Sir asked me if I am to be the first person the audience sees walking onto that stage if I can retain my straight posture for the duration of the entire opening sequence which is very long. I of course say yes, and I take it as a challenge to myself to make sure that every moment of the opening sequence anyone stares at me. In fact every moment of that play anyone stares at me they will not know that I am actually hunched in person. I am painfully aware that the new changes means that many of us will be cut from our speaking scenes. The two young girls who are playing the young girl roles are not doing very well today, one of them burst of tears when Sir was point-blank asking her to commit. The other one passed into tears when she was unable to do something that he was repeatedly asking her to do. The problem with that is that Tears are a very natural reaction to biologically female beings however in a work situation it really is not acceptable. So the director was not being able to accept it, but these young girls for the lack of a better world I think this generation, is an able to take Harher commands. What happened was due to the two of them messing up, sir I got angry and said the play will be done by one person per character only. That kind of implies that my small part is also given to the protagonist who will do the play like a monologue. But truthfully as sad as I was to have that in the inevitable reality, watching him change the play so absolutely beautifully is even more thrilling than being sad about me not making a big theatrical debut.

Despite my wondrous ways of looking at this production, some of the girls were feeling very disheartened because the director was really unhappy with the way things are fairing so vibe at rehearsal is very tense right now. A part of me realises that because I have a small role I don’t have a lot of feedback, so maybe I don’t understand what they are going through, but another part of me thinks that This is what I do best, not take work things personally not take fame and fortune personally but value the art value the talent value the creation and value the absolute magic of being able to do something like this. And I feel really blessed, maybe it is because I have achieved other things that another’s eyes have deemed successful, but I don’t feel anything I’ve done is achievement worthy yet I am yet to set my actual stage. I’m still learning. And I think that’s why I can enjoy this life in this career because I know that I’m not at my peak. Wrote my first poem since I started and shared it with M, she seems to really like her. There we are so different we do share that similar passion to give up everything for work. And so we are becoming closer.

Ps this is my front door now.

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thatblackravenclaw · 2 years

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A Silly Cliche

Masterlist

Mcu!Peter Parker x fem!reader

word count: 1.2k

song: cliché -mxmtoon

warning(s): cliche pining, slow-ish burn, cussing (sorry cussing is literally a part of my everyday vocabulary), sort of proof read, fluff

I walked into the room and then I saw your face

You looked me in the eye

“Stupid Betty can’t get her notebook, because she has to go to work so I have to waste my precious time getting it for her, because obviously it’s gonna grow legs overnight and not be here when she comes back to class in the morning.” I grumble to myself as I walk to my wonderful best friend’s last class to get her chemistry notebook, because she left it due to rushing out of class so she can get to work.

I just wanted to go home, get under my covers, and sleep until tomorrow, but nooo. She’s lucky I love her. I walk into the chemistry lab expecting it to be empty but NOPE who do I see? None other than my crush since the 8th grade, Mr. Peter Parker. I kind of just pause and look at him. He’s looking at me. Not through me. At me. He smiles and waves and what do I do? I awkwardly laugh, turn around, and run home. No logically explanation for it. I just booked it. God, I wanted to erase myself. All I had to do was wave back. Stupid. Stupid.

I didn’t wanna fall but then I stepped right in

I looked down at the ground and then I felt it right within

It was too late for me

I fell in love with Peter Parker. I can’t even breathe when he’s around. I wish I could talk to somebody about this. Betty doesn’t even know about my crush on him. I miss when I didn’t have a crush on him. Life was much simpler. I remembered how to breathe when he was around.

Whenever I see him at school now I hide, because that moment in the classroom is absolutely mortifying and every time I close my eyes I re-live it and want to die. In all my mortification, I completely forgot that I have a class with him today. I think we’re just doing notes today, so I should be okay.

“Alright, as I told you guys last class we are starting our partner projects today. When I say your names, meet your partner outside and start walking to the library to go find the book for your book report.” Mr. Cunliff says to my dismay. As long as I don’t get Peter I should be fine.

“Y/n L/n and Peter Parker.”

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. The world is out to get me.

You took a step forward and tilted your head

With a curious glance, you stared

And I felt dead

I quickly walk outside and wait for him to meet me outside. My heart is palpitating, and I can’t breathe. This is like that one time I accidentally ate Pad Thai, completely forgetting it contained peanuts. That ranks 2nd to the worst things that have happened to me.

I look up when I noticed movement by the door. There he was in all his 5’8 glory. He took a step forward and tilted his head a slight bit.

“Hey, y/n.” He said with a smile. “You have a particular book in mind before we get in there?”

There goes the breathing. Oh my god, I think I’m dying.

“Oh, no. I’m fine with whatever. Do you mind if we do fiction though? Non-fiction causes me to doze off.”

“Oh, wow, I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that, because non-fiction is the best book genre there is.” He says with a not so serious tone.

“Yeah, okay sure.” I say while giggling.

I just stared

And you grinned

And looked right back

It felt like just one big whirlwind

We make our way to the library and scour the fiction section. We decide to do Pride and Prejudice, because it’s a classic and because we had been searching for a book for like 15 minutes. He told me he’d check the book out since I already had 2 checked out. I decided to get us a table by the window and wait for him.

He decided to just stare and admire him while waiting for the librarian to scan the book. He looks so good today. He’s in a short sleeve shirt, so I’m able to see his arms and wow. More muscular than I thought he would be. All of a sudden he’s looking back at me. He grins and I return it. As soon as he looks away I exhale.

Over the next few days, we got to talking. He’d come over to my house, so we could work on the project. With every single word I started falling farther and farther for him. He was so witty and so charming. He swept me off my feet. Made me laugh, he made me blush. It felt like we got zero work done, but I honestly didn’t mind. I’m sure Mr. Cunliff would’ve minded though, so we ended up rushing to finish the project so we could spend the spare time just hanging out.

It seemed too good to be true

I wanted to be with you

We clicked like Legos

Or the clacking of tap shoes

Pete sometimes hangs out up here when the school day ends. He started inviting me about two weeks ago and I’ve been coming up here to meet him every day. I can actually breathe around him now. He’s just so comfortable to be around.

When I opened the door to the roof I already see him lying there.

“Hey,” he said.

I said, “Hello. How was your day?”

He said, “Better now,” with a smile.

What a cliché, but it, to be honest, it made my day. I didn’t wanna fall, but then I stepped right in. I looked up at your face and those, they drew me in.

It was too late for me and that’s what we were. A simple cliché. It wasn’t made to work, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

1 month later

I still find it hard to believe that Peter is Spider-Man. I mean it’s not like he doesn’t have what it takes to be a superhero I’m just still shocked. Like it’s so rad. The not so rad part? I now worry about him constantly. I know he’s been doing his spider thing for years now, but still.

“Hey,” he said while taking his mask off.

“Hello, I gotta know.. do you feel this way?”

Very vague I know, but by the look on his face I knew we were on the same page.

He said, “Yeah I do, but I was scared of what you might say.”

After that I had the widest smile. I jumped in his arms and just hugged him for a while.

“Oh my gosh, wait! Are you bruised or anything? I didn’t even think before I hugged you. I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” I kept rambling before he just brought me back in for a hug.

6 months later

I saw Peter hanging out with Ned and MJ today. I waved. He waved back. We’re taking a break for a bit. No bad blood. We both just got a bit busy with life.I still think he’s cute, but maybe it’s better this way.

2 months later

It was not better that way. We ran into each other about a month into our break and talked. We decided to give it a second chance. We went back to the place where we first hung out as our first date back together. We’re just a little cliché, but that’s okay.

#mcu!peter parker #mcu!spiderman x reader #mcu!peter x reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker oneshot #peter parker fanfic #peter parker imagine #peter parker fluff #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman fluff

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allandoflimbo · 3 years

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Ashens (Part 23)

Summary: She falls in love with Bucky Barnes from the moment she sees him. Bucky, still in love with a woman from his past, hates Y/N and plans to make her life miserable. To both their dismay, they are assigned together to go undercover into The Capitol for six months. There, they develop a heartbreaking friend with benefits agreement. Dystopian.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 6,000

Rating: M for Mature, E for explicit. Enemies to lovers trope, sharing a bed trope, friends with benefits trope, temporarily unrequited love, heavy and angry sex, heavy on the angst, and very strong language.

Full Masterpage |

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

+ + +

“Don’t question acts of the daring and misinterpret it for insanity.

Simply thank the courages ones for their heart and strong character,

for not all are willing to do the good and get destroyed in the worst way,

not for their own benefit, but for others.”

+ + +

It starts in his fingers, a feeling of hot tingles and sporadic static. He plays with the condensation of the glass, gathering the wetness on the tips of his digits until they are completely numb from the cold. The hot tingles and static dissipate momentarily until they move up his arms and into the cavity where his heart beats.

It beats for the way you waltzed into the room, smelling like sweet strawberries and your shampoo.

It beats for the way it continues to ache and hope to feel your touch again.

If he’s quiet enough, he could hear it, too. It thumps away in his head, making his temples pulse and his palms sweat. He rubs the palm of his hand against the glass, too.

He looks up, dark eyes meeting your figure in your shared bedroom. Memories of the last few months fill his brain with a strong ripple of serotonin, gaze drifting towards the messy, fresh out the dryer, white sheets.

He’s feeling too much. It must be why he feels like he’s having a heart attack and why his mouth is insanely dry.

His eyes flicker back up to you again, and for a fraction of a second, he considers saying something.

Bucky doesn’t talk about his feelings much.

He always held it down.

He didn’t talk about how he felt when he watched his sister being taken from him, or when either of his parents died and he in result became an orphan.

Not much has changed since then, he thinks as he keeps looking at you.

You were moving around, unaware of his inner turmoil.

Bucky is fully convinced that no one on this earth detests him more than he detests himself. Not only does he hate himself for the things he’s done, but he can’t stand how he’s unable to talk about his feelings when he knows he needs to.

He can’t stand how weak he is and how he doesn’t have the guts to face it.

He’s watching you and he wants to speak up, but he can’t.

He detests himself for always running away from facing his demons.

This had a lot more to do than you going on a date. This was about everything. He knows there’s so much he needs to tell you.

He just wishes it were a lot simpler.

He doesn’t dare compare his issues to yours.

He knows each person has their own demons and their own complications to conquer, so he doesn’t dare compare. But, sometimes, he can’t help but think he is the world’s most horrible person, through no fault of his own.

Why couldn’t he have been stronger? Why couldn’t he have stopped himself from getting brainwashed? Why couldn’t he stop himself from doing all the things that he did?

Nobody knows what it’s like to live with the memories of being forced to train young girls who were taken from their families to fight for the KGB, one of them who later turns out being your friend. Not to mention then also shooting the same girl through the stomach on a bridge in Odessa. Nobody knows what it’s like to be forced to put a bullet between countless of innocent people’s eyes, some being young kids, cutting their innocent lives short.

Nobody understood what it was like to then be forced to kill someone’s parents, the same person who’s teams then welcomes you decades later into their home as family.

He experienced all of it without one goodbye to his blood family.

It doesn’t make sense to him how no one else could see what was going through his mind. Maybe he was messed up to the point where he could no longer be okay ever again.

Maybe.

But you, you had woken something inside of him that he thought had been long gone. You gave him a longing for communication, to talk about how he was feeling. For the first time in over half a century, because of you, he sees a potential light at the end of the tunnel.

You didn’t treat him like an ex assassin, a veteran, an avenger, or just a friend. You treated him like an imperfect man, taking him into your arms in spite of that.

Unbeknownst to you, you had taken his broken heart in your hands and held it tenderly, like a mother holding a newborn child. You taught it how to be happier, you taught it self forgiveness and preservation. You showed him how to be human, how to feel human desires that for so long he had held down.

He continues to watch you, swelling hard.

You showed me that it was okay. He thinks to himself.

You were his friend for much longer than you ever knew, and you had no idea.

He needed you more than you realized.

But you were right. It was time to let you be truly happy. After all, how could someone like him make you happy? You made it clear to him, time after time, that you’re both toxic together. He knows most of it was his fault, but he had changed. Unfortunately so had you and your feelings were just platonic now. It was a mess. Both of you, together, was a mess.

The amount of orgasms you shared don’t even make up for the hurt you’ve put each other through.

That’s what he needs to tell himself as he watches you from the living room, pulling the wool scarf tight around your neck to hide your tattoo, and tightening the lightweight white coat over your shoulders.

You were wearing a mid length dark red dress and short black heels. You looked great. The small smile your wore complemented you well, too. You looked happy.

Bucky knows he has no right to feel what he does as he watches you go back into the bathroom to touch up your hair.

It was a quarter past seven and the sun was setting. If this was two weeks ago, you two would probably be having sex right about now.

It had become routine after a certain point. He would probably have you bent over the sink, leaving finger indents on your hips.

Not anymore. That was over.

Ironically, it wasn’t even want he wanted to do with you as he watched you walk back in. He just wanted to grab you, run his hand through your hair and kiss your forehead.

The thought of wanting to do such a pure act catches him off guard and he feels a tightness in his chest grow hot. There was the static again in his fingers.

“I’ll be back in a few hours. We’re just going to have dinner at his place.” You say, slowly stepping into the lit living room.

Bucky’s on the sofa and you watch as his eyes leave yours to obviously linger down your body.

He clears his throat, reaching for the glass of water on the coffee table.

“Be safe.” He says softly.

You watch as he takes a sip of the water, his eyes meeting yours again over the glass. There’s a pull inside of you that wants you to ask him if he was okay.

“You’ll be okay here?”

He gives a curt nod, avoiding your eyes.

“I’ll be fine.” His tone is hard and straight to the point, but something was still clearly off with his behavior.

He’s been acting weird since a few days ago when you told him about Pietro.

You start playing with the sleeve of your coat, clearly stalling.

He had to open up to you.

“You have food?” You ask. The edge of Bucky’s lip perks up. You’re thankful for the almost smile.

“Yes.”

You watch him for a few more seconds. The mundane exchange is almost comical.

“I gave you his address, right? Just in case?”

Pretty blue eyes narrow at you curiously.

“Yes, I have it right there.” Bucky says, pointing over to the dining table below the blue A.I glow.

“Okay.” you say, nodding slowly, “Okay, I’ll see you later then.”

Bucky doesn’t say anything as you leave. He leans his elbows on each of his knees, bringing both his clasped hands together up to his chin.

He wants the static to go away. He wants to tell you everything.

He takes in a deep breath and runs a metal hand through his hair.

No, I wasn’t going to be okay without you here.

He picks up the control off the table and starts season nine of Friends.

It was going to be a long night.

+ + +

You were nervous. This was your first date.

Ever.

You also didn’t know what to expect from tonight. Sure, you liked Pietro. He was sweet, a good guy, and he was attractive. You wanted to give it a try. You were done being dragged down by one man that didn’t even love you the way you did.

It was time to move on.

Three soft knocks is how long it takes for the dark blue door of apartment 8C to swing open.

You’re immediately welcomed by the scent of something delicious and Pietro’s warm and bright smile.

“Hey, you.” He says with a delighted perk in his voice. He swings the door open wider for you to walk through, “Come in.”

Timidly, you walk into his inviting home.

The walls were beige and he had dark brown wooden floors. They were glossy instead of matte. To the left was a small kitchen with black cabinetry, and in front of you a small living room with a television and a black cotton couch.

You didn’t miss the hallway towards the far left the most likely led to a bedroom and bathroom.

Bedroom.

You feel your throat close up.

You were nervous.

“May I take your coat?” He asks sweetly, stretching out a hand to you. Your eyes go from his hand to his own eyes and his smile is contagious, “I’m just going to hang it in the closet. I won’t let it run away. Promise.”

You chuckle.

You give him a short nod, shrugging off your coat and handing it to him.

“Thank you.” You say.

There’s a small pause of silence.

“Wow, you look amazing.” He says quietly, taking in your dress. His eyes sparkled as he looked at you and you knew he was being sincere. You smile. “Do you want me to take your scarf, too?”

You instinctually reach for your scarf before pausing, your hands lingering on the fabric a bit longer than casual, “I’ll keep it,” your eyes meet and he squints at you, “It’s supposed to go with the dress.” You say quickly on your feet.

He tilts his head at you and chuckles.

“Okay. Well,” he looks down at his hand still holding your coat, “I’m just going to go hang this up. Feel free to to look around for a few seconds.”

You nod again, watching as he walks to a small closet towards the right, passed the tv.

You look over into the kitchen, and you see a neatly set table with two glass of wine.

There’s a pot on the stove with the lid on it, but the stove isn’t on.

You feel a warm and inviting hand on your upper back.

“I made, or should I say, I attempted,” he adds a chuckle that makes you smile, “to make some chicken parm.”

You giggle.

“I’m sure it’s delicious.”

You both walk over to the table which isn’t that far to the side and he pulls out one of the chairs for you. You thank him politely, taking a seat.

There’s the sharing of shy glances and awkward feet hitting each other under the table. You mutter out sorry’s.

Pietro clears his throat when he remembers he forgot the plates. You smile again as he apologizes and gets up.

“I’m the worst.” He says quickly.

“You’re not, relax. I forgot, too.” You play with the glass on the table, vividly remembering Bucky doing the same not too long ago.

You were picking up each others habits, hard.

“So, how’s it going with the whole situation at home? With your friend?”

You’re caught off guard by the indirect mention of Bucky and you try to casually grab the white napkin off the table, laying it over your lap.

“It’s going better.” You say, hoping it’ll make Pietro cut the topic short.You smooth the fabric over your legs, picking at it.

He looks over his shoulder to you and you can feel his eyes on you.

“Really? That’s good. I’m happy to hear that. I know it was rough for you. I hated seeing you like that.” That makes two of us, you want to say. There’s another pause. “You’re quiet today.” He notes, placing your plate in front of you. You’re hit with an intense wave of nausea as the delicious smell peaks up into your nose. You look away from the plate swallowing hard, “You okay?”

You clear your throat and swallow and swallow.

“Yeah I’m fine,” the bile lays in your belly as the smell continues to drive into your head, making you dizzy and sweat, “Do you have some water?” You croak out, trying to push your chair a little away from the table. It scrapes angrily against the floor, and if it wasn’t for how sick you were feeling, you would be apologizing.

“Yeah, yeah of course.” He says quickly, moving around the kitchen and fixing you a glass.

He hands it to you and you take some heavy gulps. It’s cold and slices through your throat. It lays into your stomach uncomfortably but you prefer it over a dry and heavy tongue.

You place it back down on the table, taking a deep breath. You feel the sweating start to dissipate and your stomach slowly settles.

You bring your palm to your head and quickly blink away.

You hated throwing up.

“Sorry, about that.”

He chuckles and gives you a smile as he takes his own seat across from you, “That’s okay. Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”

You weren’t too sure, but you don’t say that. “Yeah, I don’t know what that was,” you look back down at the plate that begins to look somewhat appetizing again, “Believe me, it wasn’t the food. This smells delicious and looks delicious.” He opens the glass the red wine and offers some to you. You quickly shake your head, giving him a wave of rejection with your hand. Just the thought of wine made your stomach turn again, “I’ll stick to the water for now.” He nods and pours himself a glass, “Sorry if I’m quiet. I’m a bit nervous.”

“Nervous why?”

You shrug, digging a fork into your chicken and swirling it around.

“I don’t know. I’m just like that.”

He says your name and you stop poking your fork to look up at him, “It’s me. We’ve been friends for a few months now. I’m not some stranger.”

You smile. He was right.

“I know, trust me. It’s just…” you think for a moment and then start laughing, “God, we’re literally on a date, during the apocalypse, like this is just weird, ya know?”

Pietro frowns.

“Apocalypse? We’re safe in here, in these walls. Everyone is safe in here.”

Your smile drops.

You stare at him and begin to wonder if he’s actually being serious. Was the majority of the people in here really convinced that this was it? That everything was perfect? Was Hydra really that capable? Part of you is proud of your parent’s work because you truly were safe because of what they built, but the world was still out there, living. There was still more. This wasn’t supposed to be a permanent solution.

There were people out there still dying, trying to survive. And these people had no idea, including Pietro.

You realize you’re quickly going into dark territory and you don’t want Pietro digging into what you were trying to say, accidentally blowing your cover.

“You’re right. I don’t know why I said that.” You say quickly. You bring the chicken to your mouth, taking a small and careful bite, “This is so good.” You say after chewing and swallowing.

“I’m glad you liked it. I made some lava cakes for desert, too.”

You laugh.

“Are you a cook?”

“Nah. Just watch a lot of Tiny Kitchen.”

You perk a brow.

“Tiny Kitchen?”

“You’ve never heard of Tiny Kitchen?”

You laugh, placing your fork down on the plate.

“No, what the hell is it? A small kitchen?”

“Literally what it is. I’ll show it to you afterwards.”

“Okay.” You grin.

You look down at your plate again, wanting to go in for another bite, but for some reason you just can’t.

+ + +

He doesn’t get past episode three. He can’t.

Not when all thoughts of you clouded his mind. He knows Pietro is good people, so he’s entirely not concerned about that.

He knows he’s jealous. He knows that.

The jealousy mixed in with the anticipation of how the rest of the mission will play out worries him.

He wanted you home and near him, but since that wasn’t going to happen, he was home by himself, glooming.

He knows he needed a distraction right away so he picks up some of his things from the dining table, slides on a light jacket, and makes his way towards the tower.

He knows the blueprint of the tower already and he’s able to navigate himself into stairwell of the apartment on the top floor.

After weeks of dissecting, you both found out that Ashens’ father, Ashen, and his mother don’t live here with the boy. For safety precautions, which are obvious why, he’s being housed in under high security and under the supervision of some au pair who is as clueless of his importance as the day is young.

Bucky knows that what he’s about to do borders on breaking boundaries, and downright creepy.

But this was a situation he would qualify as desperate times comes to desperate measures.

Bucky’s able to bypass security, taking a security outfit off a ‘poor’ victim (he scoffs) as he does soon.

He’s just outside the boy’s bedroom when he hears the nanny tell Ashens goodnight.

When she’s leaving she tells Bucky in a heavy Bulgarian accent, clearly thinking he’s just a regular guard, that Ashens is about to go to sleep. Bucky keeps his head down and nods.

The clueless ar pair goes the opposite way, presumably to her own bedroom.

Bucky waits a few moments before knocking on the boy’s door.

He hears the little boy give out permission to come in. Bucky opens the door.

The bedroom is plain and depressing. There’s a bed with plain white sheets, a small nightstand, and a large window. There are no toys and nothing that would show any proof that a child resided here.

The room is not one he would expect for a boy Ashens’ age.

The little boy sits up in bed, his eyes squinting at the figure in his doorway.

“Hello.” The boy squeaks out.

Bucky practically laughs at how easy it was to get here. For a boy they are trying so hard to keep protected from just anyone, it was quite easy ending up just a few feet away from him.

Bucky’s had his fair share of experiences with kids, having a little sister himself. He knows he has to do this differently.

“Hi.” Bucky says lightly, almost too cheerfully.

The boy continues to stare at him as Bucky closes the door behind him, but not letting it close shut just yet.

“Who are you?”

Bucky slowly takes off his halo looking helmet and the boy squints at Bucky’s revealed face.

Bucky tucks the helmet under his arm and smiles.

“Can you keep a secret?”

The boy looks at him for a few more seconds before nodding slowly.

It’s not until Bucky is closer to the boy that his eyebrows shoot up,

“Wait. I know who you are.” Bucky can’t tell if the boy is excited or surprised, but the reaction makes Bucky’s chest swell.

This might go down easier than he expected.

“I -I was so little when I had the toy but,” the boy starts to talk excitedly and Bucky has to hide a growing smile, “Because I can’t have toys anymore. Not since we moved here. I was little but I remember,” the boy and Bucky both narrow their eyes at each other as if it’s a game to who would say it first, “it’s captain America. You ever heard of captain America?”

Bucky bites his lip.

“No, never.” He says sarcastically. “Oh, he’s the best. You look like his friend, but I don’t remember his name. He used to be the winter soldier and then he became good.”

Bucky’s heart swells again. The boy’s joy was so pure.

“Oh, yea?”

“Yeah. Dad didn’t like them vey much, though,” his face drops as he looks away from Bucky, “I didn’t like how happy he was when they all died. But no one knows that just us I think,” when Ashens looks up again, Bucky’s face is more solemn this time, “Are you sure you’re not the winter soldier?” The boy whispers the question.

Bucky considers his next words carefully. He places the helmet at the feet of the boy’s bed.

“If I told you I was?”

“I would be surprised because I though you were dead, and also I would be confused. Because why you here?”

Bucky nods. He looks away and then back at Ashens.

“Would you tell your dad?” He asks quietly. This was important.

The boy looks at him for a bit before answering.

“No. He would kill you. Daddy’s not on the good side.”

“And you believe I’m on the good side, right?”

“Yes. You’re an Avenger.”

Bucky bites his lip and looks around the room. This boy was good. It angered him that his own father wanted him killed. Now, more than ever, he wanted to rescue this boy.

“Can you trust me?” Bucky asks, suddenly serious.

The boy nods.

“Am I in trouble?” He asks timidly. “What do you mean?” “Ae you here to save me, sir?”

The question broke Bucky’s heart, but he nods.

“I trust you.” The boy’s eyes dart down Bucky’s left side, “Can I feel you arm?” The edge of Bucky’s lips perk up as he takes a seat, “and what does it feel like to hold the shield? Did you really know Iron Man? Black Panther always said —”

+ + +

By the time Bucky is back you’re already home in your pajamas tucked into bed.

“Hey. Where’d you go?” You ask him as he takes off his coat, draping it over one of the chairs in the dining area.

He kicks off his shoes and reaches back, pulling off his shirt. He walks over to the closet for a new one.

“I met Ashens.”

You raise your brows at this. You knew it was part of the plan to happen, but you didn’t expect it to be today.

“What?”

Bucky also pulls out a new and clean pair of boxers, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Yeah. We spoke for a bit.” “And he didn’t recognize you?” “No, he did,” Bucky says simply, eyes going over to you. You looked so pretty, comforter pulled up under your clothed breasts, a book in your hands, and a messy bun in your hair. He wanted you. He looks away, remembering where you had just been, “He knows I’m here. He won’t tell his dad." “How can you be so sure?” “I’m an Avenger, aren’t I? That’s what everyone tells me, has been telling me.” He says it bitterly. Bucky sighs, closing the closet door and then walking over to the bed near you, “Because I made him a promise that I was here to save him. I think he knows his dad is bad news. He’s a smart kid. He knows his dad hits his mom, too.” Bucky’s voice is soft.

“So you trust he’ll keep this between us?”

“I do.”

You nod. You watch Bucky’s eyes as his stare stays on you, unnerving.

“And you?” You voice shakes as you ask, “How are you? Ya know, after?”

Bucky nods his head.

“I’m alright, ya know? I — ,” something happens to him that you had never seen before. A wave of happiness washes over Bucky’s face like a fresh cup of lemonade. His eyes shine and a bright smile fills his face. Even his voice sounds perkier, “It was just so nice talking to him. He’s such a sweet kid. I know we’re doing the right thing,” his eyes meet yours again and his voice lowers to a deep tone, “We’re both going to walk away from this mission with more than we thought.” It’s the first time he’s said that you are both going to walk away from the mission together, and not just you. He knows that. Bucky clears his throat, “You definitely won’t run into his father. He’s not living with him to avoid attention and possible abductions. Ashens is a literal rapunzel right now.”

“Good. That’s good.” Obviously it wasn’t. But it was good for the both of you. You had less chances of running into Ashen.

Bucky takes in a deep breath when he realizes his eyes are lingering on your collarbones for far too long.

“How was your date?” He actually doesn’t want to even know, the thought of you and Pietro makes him sick, but he knows he needs to show courtesy. They can’t ignore it forever. “It was fine. I wasn’t feeling too well, though—“

Bucky’s eyes narrow.

“—Oh no, I’m sorry.”

“Couldn’t eat. But,” you took a deep breath and eyed the hallway, "Brought some in a small Tupperware if you want it. It’s in the kitchen.”

Bucky ignores the flutter in his heat at the mention that you thought of him. Thought of him enough to bring the leftovers for him.

He smiles.

“What is it?” “Chicken Parm.” You watch as Bucky continues to watch you, eyes still sparkling. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine. You’re happy, right?” Your eyes flicker away for a moment.

“Y-yeah.”

He knows he’s not fine so he lies.

“Then I’m fine. You looked great by the way.” He adds quickly.

You tilt your head at him and he tilts his back.

Damnit, he needed you.

“Yeah?” You ask hoarsely.

He wanted you.

“You’re glowing.” He says.

+ + +

Jazz and burlesque shows were the epitome of everything she had lived for up until she was sixteen years old. The smell of handmade lace garters and expensive perfume still lingered in the back of her mind, bringing her a feeling of contentment and a strange longing for the past.

Nostalgia would overwhelm her as she looked on at what was the exact contrast to her innocence – her mother’s hugs. She missed those nights where she’d play some 12’s of her beat up vinyl on her record, the scratches adding to Peggy Lee’s voice a twinge of imperfection that made it the perfect tone.

With nothing on but her undergarments, and a pair of leg garters accompanied with knee high black stockings, she’d open her closet to a huge collection of gorgeous cocktail dresses. A couple handful landed just above her knees, not many past her mid shin - Scandalous and mildly scandalous. Her parents would kill her if they ever found out she even owned them (let alone have them in their home) so she kept those hidden in a little pile in the back corner of the wardrobe.

She had every right to be terrified for many reasons. It’s not that she was not loyal or a rebel, per say. She was born and raised into a Christian family, all strict rules of modesty and heavy morals applied to her daily life. She was always daddy’s little girl in the simplest sense possible.

She wouldn’t ever dare roll her eyes at him or purposefully make him disapprove of her, ever. Sure, she was raised in a rich family, so she was used to getting everything she always wanted. Material things being at the top of the list. Even then she remained as humble as possible.

Especially when she thought her strong faith was behind it all.

Do well for God, he gives back in return, right? At least that’s what her naïve self believed at the time. But she’d never admit it to her family that she now thought otherwise, especially to her mom.

If anything, God was now banning them all to Hell anyway.

Her vanity was those of every girl’s dreams. Drawers filled with everything you could only wish of having. Inside were lingerie of every shade (from fiery red to pure jet black, like the night sky in the city), style, and earrings of every pearl and diamond crystal variety you could think. Her favorite would always be the garters.

She’d clip each of the four clasps into place just above her knees with her nimble fingers and then she’d sit opened legged in front of the mirror.

Diligently, and with prestige dexterity, she’d apply her blood red lipstick and her four inch black heels.

After an o shape with her lips around her fingers and a loud pop, she’d walk around her room and close her eyes, envisioning herself as a burlesque girl and a sensual song playing in the background. After all, she had all the right in the world to be the exact opposite at night than what she was during the day. Morally, at least.

She still remained as the same sweet, innocent, and faithful young girl she always was. But she had big hopes and dreams, especially in film and dance. God should be okay with dreams, she thought.

When she had learned the truth it was just short of her 20th birthday. She unwontedly found out that her father and brother were different souls at night, too. She wished she never found out that everything that had been lying in front of her had been a lie, and instead of life being a gifted blessing it was instead a bloody carcass hades.

Their life wasn’t one she liked to admit to partaking in. There were times where she would trick into telling herself that they weren’t doing it. She’d trick herself into thinking that way so that when she saw her dad that night, she’d be able to surpass the strong smell of whiskey and gun powder and kiss him goodnight.

Jimmy would roll his eyes with a shove past her shoulder.

As much as she detested it, she knew that without them, they wouldn’t be living in one of the most beautiful homes in all of Manhattan in complete safety. It was because of them that she wasn’t living out in the slums. She tried to divide that part of harsh reality from her brain as much as she could. Eventually, the pros outweighed the cons.

Maybe it was the fact that her body had finally developed into a women’s body. Her breasts were now fully perked and her legs were long and porcelain gorgeous; all she knew was they figured she could be put to good use.

At first she was repulsed by her own father’s comment, but if it meant having dinner that night and not getting killed, she would swallow those nagging feelings and take it head on. It never lasted too long anyway, and all she had to do was stand there and be her brother’s accessory.

When her father brought her into the business, he told her she would thank him one day when she had children of her own- she’d have all the men of the lower east side wrapped around her pretty little finger.

She was alright with it, until something happened that she would never forget. She had to swallow the repulsive bile and control herself not to run away then and there. She was too far in and knew way too much.

It was just another Tuesday night and she had been sitting at the dinner table, when both her mom and dad had stepped out of the dining room and into the kitchen. She ate her soup quietly, not being able to stop thinking about going back to her room to play burlesque, when Jimmy had turned to her.

At first it was the sudden motion that caught her attention, it had made a strand of blonde hair fly off her arm. Then it was the feral look in his eyes.

“Daisy,” his voice was low and dangerous. Daisy knew that tone very well because it was the tone all the other men used on their nights of missions. She was terrified and disgusted. Wide eyes trailed from her eyes to her full red lips and she felt a cold rigid finger against the heat of her skin on her upper thigh, pushing the fabric slightly up. She gulped.

Jimmy smiled, “You gorgeous thing.”

She thought about telling her father but she knew that if he found out, the one partnership that was bringing them the most cash would be jeopardized and it would have to be terminated and he’d be more than upset. She knew when her dad got angry, it was not good. It’s was messy and bad.

Back at dinner, her father would say grace before they ate, all of them hand in hand, and her mom would sit there quietly, a terrified and exhausted look in her smiles. She had heavy bags that weren’t there years ago, and her hair that used to always be done was now up in a messy clip, the baby hairs hanging against her wrinkled forehead, messy and unruly. But still she managed to smile, even if it wasn’t a real smile. It was all a stupid act.

It reminded Daisy of how she herself was when she was 16 - pretending to be oblivious to what her family were doing to the innocent. And so she hated her mom for that, for being just like her.

She felt disgusted in herself, she felt disgust for her family. Oh how she missed those days of when she was a child, before she even knew the truth. It was all so much simpler back then and she was so much happier. The worst it used to get was when her mother would tell her stories about when she was a nurse back in WWI.

She had wanted to be like her mom at first. Her mom was quiet, humble, caring, and extremely gracious. It’s what made her such a good person to have back in the war to help the soldiers- she was strong willed and knew she could help and would in her best ability do so. But those stories made Daisy question why any man in his right mind would want to do such a thing to their own body- putting themselves at such a risk.

Sure, she was privileged by riches, but problems didn’t have to be solved by violence. There must be other ways, like prayer or simply believing.

Her mother would tell her the graphic stories of the injuries that made Daisy queasy and fidget in her seat. She loved her mom’s qualities and how willing she was to help others who were injured and almost dying, but it still made no sense to her.

When daisy questioned her concerned to her mother she had simply said:

“Don’t question acts of the daring and misinterpret it for insanity. Simply thank the courages ones for their heart and strong character, for not all are willing to do the good and get destroyed in the worst way, not for their own benefit, but for others.”

To this day, Daisy wondered if her mom was indirectly referencing her own father- him lacking thereof.

Next, she wondered about when her mom stopped believing her own words.

Daisy wondered if she’d ever meet one one day - a soldier. Someone willing to get destroyed. Or if her mom had been lying and all men are the same, evil like her father and brother.

But she was evil, too.

No, I don't wanna fall in love.

A/N: yes. she’s pregnant.

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iwantblacktea · 2 years

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You Only Love Once

“You Only Love Once" c!Wilbur Soot x reader (gender-neutral)

Summary: Falling in love, falling out of love, wanting to be loved, and letting go.

Warnings: Angst, manipulation, mentions of war, grief, and major character death

Word count: 4093 words

Notes: I just realized how long this was sitting on my drafts. Tbh, I never thought of the plot while writing this and just went with the flow- so let there be dragons!

You only fall in love once. It is a one-time thing. You can love somebody as many times as you can but you can only truly fall in love with a person once in your life. If someone says they fell in love multiple times, then they never fell in love at all.

You believed that.

Falling in love with Wilbur Soot felt like how poets described love. Intense. Raw. Breathtaking. He was one of a kind, an enigma, a puzzle. A man you couldn’t solve. A man you couldn’t escape from. He felt like a dream you can’t seem to shake no matter how hard you try.

He strung your heart in his palms like the strings of his guitar. You could recall the way he played a beautiful symphony during the sunrise. The both of you sat under an ancient oak tree. You’d be beside him as you lay your head on his shoulder. The sun would rise, illuminating his handsome features.

“Did you like it, love?” He asked you after playing his guitar.

“It was wonderful, Wilbur.” You looked up at him with a wide smile. “The best ever.”

His eyes glistened with warmth and sincerity. You were always so honest and kind. He thought of you perfect, without a doubt. A pristine petal during spring. “You flatter me too much,” he gave you a gentle kiss.

He took your hand and held it tight. His calloused fingers felt like home intertwined with yours. The sensation was incredible. The sense of safety was so evident that you were happy to be held close to him.

You cherished moments like this. The simpler times. Just the both of you with no cares in the world like little children who dreamt of the future. This moment was a reminder of how precious life was.

You brought his hand to your cheek and rested your head on it. “Don’t ever change.” You whispered.

He nodded with his thick, dark brown hair falling just so. His eyes twinkled with amusement. He smiled at you like you were the only person in the world. That you’d always find your home in him.

“I promise.” He promised you with his heart in his hand.

And you believed him.

You believed him for a long time.

Falling in love with Wilbur Soot was also a test of patience. You had to be strong in the face of challenges. A given especially now that the man you loved was now building a country. L'Manberg.

"Will, don't you think this is too rash? It's a country, it comes with a million responsibilities." you tried to reason with him. But you knew his heart had already been made up of it.

"I know, but it has to be done. Besides, you're with me now." He said, smiling at you.

You couldn't argue with the determination in his eyes. He was always so passionate. One of the main reasons you fell in love with the musician. But this… a country? Was he ready for that?

“I know, but...” you spoke hesitantly, “A country, Wilbur? And who do you expect to aid you in this? Tommy? Tubbo? Fundy? They’re children.” You said as you sighed.

He took in your hands, “Trust me in this, love.” He said while kissing the back of your hand.

“I do trust you.”

“Then so do I. You know how much I love you, I’d run hell to back for you, Y/N.” He told you with complete confidence and certainty. Because god knows what he’d do for you.

One look at him and you give in. Wilbur Soot was your kryptonite. And like guitar strings, he played your heart ever so beautifully. “If that’s what you want, I’ll be here to support you.”

He squeezed your hands. You almost smiled at the feeling. The sense of calm you found yourself in.

The both of you trusted each other. There was no turning back now. Because no matter how reckless Wilbur soot was about certain things, he was also loyal. You were loyal to him. You’d trust him with your life.

Even if he was crazy.

At that moment you loved him as the hero in the end. For it was him who made the final decision. You didn’t doubt him. Nor did you doubt that he’d do everything in his power to make sure that you were safe.

Falling in love with Wilbur Soot was also a lesson in faith. You were about to take a giant leap. In love. In a completely new country. One where no one knew the meaning of raising.

“Are you sure about this, Wilbur?” You patted down the imaginary dust on the uniform he wore. He looked dashing in the dark blue coat as usual. The red, white, and blue of the L’Manberg flag were visible from his chest.

“Just trust me, love.” He nodded again. “Trust me.”

“I do, Wilbur.”

And you meant every word. And he knew you did.

He laughs, taking your hand to lead you outside the cottage, “Let’s go, everyone’s waiting for us. We can’t keep the boys waiting.”

You stood by his side as the whole crowd cheered for him. That day was one of the happiest moments of your life. It was your first day in the country of L’Manberg. For the first time in your life, you believed in something bigger than yourself. A new beginning and a new home.

Falling in love with Wilbur Soot came with its challenges. You were beside him when he made his nation and you were beside him when he was exiled. You saw the pretty, ugly, and bad. But that was love. Right?

“Then let’s be the bad guys,” He announced to both you and Tommy. “Our nation’s gone, our nation’s far behind us.” His eyes burned with hatred, flames that could devour a whole forest.

You felt a shiver go down your back. The bad guys? You knew Wilbur’s mental health has hit a few notches ever since being exiled but you’ve never seen him so crazed before.

“Wilbur, you’re being irrational,” You reached out to him, attempting to reason with him. But he didn’t listen to your advice. Not anymore.

“If we can’t have Manberg, then no one can have Manberg!” He bellowed as a roar. His eyes turned into a storm that made your hands tremble.

Tommy’s eyes widened at Wilbur’s announcement. He thought that Wilbur was crazy. “Wilbur, I don’t think,” He paused. “Can I have a minute to think, Will?”

You keep quiet as you watch Tommy and Wilbur go back and forth. You swallow a lump in your throat. You stare at your hand that Wilbur shook off. Wilbur has never yelled at you. Never. In all the time you've known him, you never once heard him raise his voice to you. He didn’t hit you, call you names, or curse you out.

It was a side of him that you never knew about.

Wilbur turned back to you with his eyes wide, a smile on his face. But it didn’t look genuine. The man who said he loved you was now a stranger. “I hope you trust me, love. Don’t you?” His eyes flashed.

You felt a sense of fear course through you. For all the times you doubted him, all the times he doubted you. It was him that doubted you first.

“I…” You tried to say in an even tone. “I trust you.”

Because what else was left but trust? You trust Wilbur with your life. You did. Yes. You did.

Falling in love with Wilbur Soot was a mistake. You weren’t sure if he was the best or worst mistake in your life, all you knew was this. This all was a mistake.

The smell of smoke and gunpowder enters your lungs. You can smell the death in it. A sound of panic, pain, and fear drowns your ears. The screams of your loved ones are in the back of your head.

L’Manberg has gone to shit. Nothing more than a charred husk blazed in amber flames.

You search for anyone near you. For any friend, ally, or comrade. Anyone. You panic in your spot. What has happened? Where is everyone? You look at your now ragged and burnt blue soldier’s uniform and your eyes widen.

Wilbur.

You limp across the battlefield. “Wilbur- where’s Wilbur?” You yelled for him and amongst the chaos explosives suddenly erupt on the battlefield, you stumble backward from the force of the shockwaves. You shield your face from the blasts of dust. That’s when you see him.

The man who once loved you. The man who didn’t deserve your love.

“My L’manberg, my great unfinished symphony!” Wilbur’s voice rang out, arms spread, beholding his masterpiece. His symphony. His L’Manberg. You could hear the hate in his voice as he chanted. “Forever unfinished!”

You watch in horror as the man you loved stood upon the ruble. He wasn’t the Wilbur you knew. The man in front of you was now a maniac, a madman, a murderer.

And you could’ve sworn, you saw Wilbur look at your eyes before he handed his father an enchanted sword and knelt down. The next moment, you witnessed a body fall limp.

You tried to scream, tried to roar his name. But it was as if you were stuck in and only able to move forward at a slow pace, each step of your advance felt like being hampered by a heavy ball of lead.

Wilbur was gone. Gone with the nation he built. Gone like the ashes carried by the wind.

Falling in love with- No. You choose to forget that name.

Everyone had picked themselves up and moved on. Fixing the cracks and filling the barren land. There was no time to mourn.

Tubbo was now the president of the country due to the passing of the old president. You pity the young boy. All that responsibility on someone who was barely a teen. They opted to make you president at first since you were the ex-president’s spouse but you declined the offer.

You wanted nothing to do with the country. With the one who built it.

But you didn’t leave L’Manberg, because even if you didn’t admit it you still clung to the small memory of the good times. The good times in which you’ve been a part of the country. So you stayed in your cottage beside the ancient oak tree.

It’s a bit funny, the cottage never suffered from the explosions of the war, neither did the ancient oak tree. The hill itself it sat upon remained untouched. You didn’t need to rebuild anything. It was preserved in a way seemed that it was intentional.

You still sat at the window, watching the same sky that you did when you used to listen to guitar strumming. The same sky that saw two lovers, together, and apart.

You remained in the small cottage for your days, some would come to visit like Tommy who would bring you flowers—that he had just happened to find along the road and absolutely not for you. You appreciated the lad’s company. He was always so chipper and energetic that it made the cottage feel alive with his presence. Tommy was always the son you’d never have.

This day you don’t expect visitors.

Or so you did.

A pale ghost stands before you. Eyes innocent of what he did. He looked like a faded picture of someone you’ve chosen to forget, or at least someone you tried to forget.

The wind blows through his skin, it’s cold but he doesn’t feel it. Smoke and ash linger in the air, like a forgotten memory. Like a memory of a life, he used to live. He’s a ghost. A wraith. An apparition.

Pale hands reach out to your shaken figure but you back away, “Love? Do you need some blue?”

“Don’t come near me.” You barely breathed out. Your eyes wandered along the apparition’s body. So calculating and uncertain. Your hand that shields you from the ghost threatens to tremble. Was this some sick joke?

The ghost tilts his head in confusion. Not used to the indifference his companion displayed. The phantom smiles in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“I can see why you seem confused, my name’s—”

“—Ghostbur!”

A breathless Tommy stumbles in the cottage’s door. His hand rested on the door’s frame for balance. He’s breathing quickly as if he had just run up a flight of stairs.

“I told you to stick with me all the time,” He scolded the ghost. The boy didn’t pay mind to his surroundings, he didn’t realize where he stood until his eyes wanders to you. His breath hitches and his blue eyes widen in fear. “Y/N.”

The very person he hoped Ghostbur wouldn’t run into was here.

“Tommy, you’re here!” Ghostbur smiles as he sees him. The ghost slightly jumps as he waves his blue-stained hand at the boy.

“Tommy, care to explain?”

Tommy stares at Y/N. He knew the severity of the situation, for both Y/N and Ghostbur. His mind comes up with different excuses or lies but none leave his lips. How would you feel if the man you trusted betrays you and blows up your country to only come back? Not good. Tommy knew how that felt.

For a moment, his eyes dart towards Ghostbur, before meeting Y/N’s furious gaze. He swallows a lump in his throat before letting out a humorless laugh.

“Y/N, how nice to see you here.” His hand scratches the back of his head. “I didn’t know you’d be in here—”

“—It’s my cottage, Tommy. Now explain.” You don’t let Tommy finish his little excuse. You just wanted to know why a dead man was in your house. And of all the dead men of the past, it had to be him.

Ghostbur had no clue why Tommy looked so worried and why Y/N looked displeased. It made the ghost slightly frown. Perhaps, they too needed blue?

“Y/N, this is Ghostbur,” Tommy quickly stutters his words. “I know it sounds fucking crazy but he is Wilbur’s ghost and I promise he isn’t that bad. He looks different, yes, and he isn’t that crazy egomaniac- He doesn’t remember everything.”

You don’t take your gaze off of the apparition. You didn’t know what to think. You don’t feel any comfort from what Tommy said. What does he mean by not remembering everything?

“He didn’t come to harm anyone,” Tommy finishes. His fingers playing with the hem of his shirt, he looked like a child who was scared of getting a scolding from his parent. He had imagined how this conversation would go and how he’d have to introduce the ghost to you sometime in the future. But now that it’s happening he can’t find any words to comfort you.

You only nod in response. What else was supposed to say?

A tear rolls down your cheek and you look at the kitchen floor. You wanted to hide and disappear into thin air.

Silence filled the small cottage.

Then a hand. A hand pale gray reaches out to you with blue dye. You look up and see the soft smile the ghost had, his eyes glistened with warmth and sincerity. He looked at you like you were a pristine petal in spring.

“Have some blue, Y/N.”

You stare into the apparition’s black eyes, you felt no tension, no uneasiness. The apparition gave you a small smile as he offered the pigment.

You take it. He smiles.

And for once after a long time, you felt a weight lifted up from your shoulders. The cottage felt like home.

You don’t fall in love anymore. It was time to heal.

It took time to get used to Ghostbur’s presence but you both were taking it a few steps in a time. In the past days, you’ve learned that Ghostbur only remembered the good times of Wilbur’s life. Not the war. Not the insanity. Just happy times.

“Y/N!” A pale ghost peeps his head on the side of your doorframe. A bright smile danced on his lips. He looked excited for today.

“Ghostbur, don’t be afraid to come in,” You told him. You were chopping vegetables and looking after the boiling water on the stove. The aroma of spices was enough to make the whole country hungry.

“You have to come here because I’m not taking another step.” Ghostbur frowns. He doesn’t take a step inside the cottage and remains outside the doorframe. His hands tightened on the gift he was hiding behind him.

You sigh at Ghostbur’s request. You quickly paused what you were doing and turned off all the stoves. You shake your head in the childish antics of the ghost.

“Well, hello there, Ghostbur,” you greeted the apparition who was outside your doorstep, “What brings you here?”

The ghost hums. And pulls out a bouquet of blue flowers—Blue cornflowers. They looked fresh and carefully picked from the ground, to make sure each petal was untouched.

“It’s a blue cornflower bouquet,” Ghostbur said with excitement as he held it out to you, “It’s blue and I thought that you would like them if they were flowers instead of dye— Dye could be messy and I thought you’d like it better..”

“Thanks, Ghostbur.” You said with a smile.

You ran your hand over the flowers and looked at the apparition. Ghostbur seemed so pleased when he saw you cradle the bouquet of flowers in your arms. He always saw Tommy bring you flowers so the ghost thought he’d do the same. He was glad you liked them.

“I’ll cherish them, now, you should come inside the cottage it’s going to get dark soon.”

It wasn’t hard to grow attached to the ghost who wore his yellow sweater even in the summer. He was the perfect company and you didn’t feel uneasy with him.

When you heard that Tommy and Ghostbur were off on a trip, you didn’t think about anything too worrying. The two were always inseparable and it was good that Tommy had someone beside him when you couldn’t.

You watched Ghostbur wave you off as he held on to his sheep’s lead, Tommy bid his goodbyes too. They told you they'd be back soon with good news and you trusted them.

So you waited for the two. You sat on your window nook, watching the growing cornflowers under the oak tree. The sun was starting to rise on the ruins of the old country L’Manberg. Your mind wanders on the fact you were still here. On your cottage atop the hill. Preserved. Untouched. Unchanged.

It had been so long since the citizens have left the country. It has been so long since you’ve first met Ghostbur. Everything else was a ravine. L’Manberg was a lost memory. But your cottage was still there and so were you.

Oh, how time flies.

You waited for Tommy and Ghostbur. It wouldn’t be too long for them to start knocking on your door.

The sunlight crept through the trees, the birds squawked and sang but the sun was still shy. A feeling of giddiness fills your chest. You thought about preparing a cake or pie for the two.

Suddenly, you hear footsteps in the distance. Your heart quickens.

“This early? I haven’t even prepared anything yet,” you mumbled to yourself. You rush to your porch to welcome your visitors.

You expected to be greeted by the pale ghost and his sheep along with the young boy you watched grow up. But this. This wasn’t what you expected.

Your lips gaped when an overwhelming feeling of anxiety washes over you. You stared at the figure who was kneeling under the ancient oak tree, his fingers gracing on the cornflower petals that rested on the dirt. You felt your blood chill down to your fingertips.

Your legs almost falter as you took a step back. Tears prick the corners of your eyes and your throat tightens. Your back hit against the now-closed door of your cottage. Your mind was racing, unable to process the current situation.

You recognized the man.

The person who was kneeling, gazing at the blue petals heard the sound and looked back at you. Strands of brown and white hair move as he airily chuckled.

“Y/N,” You hear his voice. A voice you know too well. The man you’ve been wanting to forget for a long time.

A quiet “Wilbur?” leaves your mouth. The word feels foreign on your tongue. You feel a mixture of emotions wash over you. Anger. Guilt. Embarrassment.

“Don’t you miss me?” He said. His tone was low and sweet, if you were your past self you would give in and melt to his voice. He picks himself up and walks over to you, his steps destroying the crowd of cornflowers.

He gently places his hand over your cheek and wipes away the tears you didn’t realize had fallen. “I’m back, love.”

You shake your head and pull his hand away. You looked up to the man, his eyes dull and apathetic, white hair starting to grow from his roots, and his lips chapped. A shell of a man you once knew.

“You- how dare you-!” You pushed him away and took a few steps back. Your voice started to crack as you spoke. “Having the guts to come back here, you are not welcomed here. You should just return to your grave- you should- You… Where is Ghostbur?”

Wilbur shook his head. He chuckled as if your fear was the most comedic thing he’d ever seen. He puts his hands inside his pockets, he looks down on your shaken-up figure. “That desaturated version of me? The ghost? That’s who you’re looking for? My, my, Y/N. I almost feel bad for you.”

Your eyes widen when you realized what was going on but you refuse to believe it. Ghosbur couldn’t be dead. There was no way. You just saw him and Tommy leave your cottage last morning. They would be back right now and you would let them indulge you with their adventures.

“I missed you, you know? Imagine the dread and desperation I felt in that rotten place- How I could be holding you if I weren't in there, but you were here playing tea party with a ghost.” Wilbur said, his tone mocking.

You grit your teeth, “Where is Ghostbur?” You demanded.

“Gone. He’s in limbo,” His eyes lit up with happiness when he sighed, “You should’ve seen the lad, his tears were steaming like it was burning him. I couldn’t bid my goodbyes, I was too thrilled to leave that hell.”

You see Tommy in the corner of your eyes, he was holding the lead of a familiar blue sheep and reality comes crashing down on you. You don’t celebrate the arrival of the man you once loved that day. You mourned for the friend who greeted you with flowers in the morning.

Wilbur was back. Ghostbur was gone.

The days became weeks and weeks became months. You grieved for your friend as you watch blue cornflowers wilt away and became part of the dust of the earth.

You finally leave L’Manberg.

You leave your small cottage atop the hill.

It would be your first time living in a place away from L’Manberg

It was a normal afternoon in Las Nevadas, you were in charge of the slot machines, rigging them to benefit your boss—Quackity—so he wouldn’t lose anything. You didn’t care about the foul play of the casino, it was a small price to pay to get away from your old home.

Quackity had left you minutes ago, he only told you that he was going to welcome guests and you find yourself stiffening when you hear voices outside the Casino.

A gasp comes from one of the voices, “Quackity, how on earth did you get Y/N to leave that raggedy cottage?” Wilbur tilts his head as he watches your face painted distrust.

“Wilbur.”

He smiles—a smile like the ones he shared under the oak tree, like mornings in the cottage, like rough hands holding each other. And he knew you could never hate him. Because Wilbur Soot was a man you couldn’t solve. A man you couldn’t escape from. He was a nightmare you couldn’t shake off.

You don’t recognize the man you fall in love with.

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dreamescapeswriting · 3 years

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Write Up ~ KTH [Request]

WORD COUNT: 2.3k

GENRE: Fluffy, jealous, established-relationship

PAIRING: Taehyung x Fem!Reader x Seungmin (for like a couple of paragraphs)

A/N: As soon as I saw Puppy dog crush I had to make it Seungmin! Hope you enjoy!

Staring over at the clock on the wall you hoped it was just a little fast and that you weren't being stood up by your boyfriend Taehyung, time seemed to be moving slower now that you were staring at the clock on the wall. It was a Wednesday afternoon which meant it was his afternoon off and he could come and spend the afternoon with you in a small cafe in the middle of Seoul. It was the cutest cafe in the whole of the city, right down an alleyway which meant that hardly anybody knew that the place existed and that you were free to just let your hair down. The two of you had been together secretly for the last year and a half and this was one of the weekly routines that you would do together in this one spot. The owners knew you both well and would always make sure to have your orders waiting for you whenever you came in to work in the shop. You'd been working as a songwriter for years in the industry, working with people not just in the Kpop industry but with Western artists too. It was something you were very well known for since people liked to collaborate with you a lot, forming friendships and business relationships with different singers and groups was intimidating but something you'd always longed to do.

A couple of companies had gone to you with the task of creating some love songs for their performers, all you were told about them was that the people that would be singing the songs would be female. You weren't allowed to know anything else except for that which was why Taehyung had offered to come by and help you with writing. Writing songs alone wasn't normally an issue but you'd been struggling a lot with this one, Taehyung offered to help as a way of couple bonding with you. Spending time together while getting to write about your love life in a song that would be able to be heard by people all over the world.

Tae: I got caught up, reschedule for next week? You smiled down at your phone, at least this time he text you telling you what had happened and you weren't left waiting. It wasn't like you were mad at him for being late or not showing up, you understood what it was like for him being so busy all of the time.

You: No problem baby, I'll head home after writing down some ideas x It wasn't as though it was a big deal having to write on your own but Taehyung felt bad for making you do it. He wanted to be the one there helping you out with the lyrics. In a way, it would be "your song" without everyone knowing that it was about your relationship. No matter how hard Taehyung had tried this week he couldn't seem to catch a break, no matter what he did everything seemed to pile on top of him more and more. Although he was supposed to have every Wednesday afternoon off he'd been so caught up and behind with recordings that he didn't have the chance to have the day off. It felt as though he was being rushed off his feet all of the time and had no chance for time to himself but he was going to make it up to you.

"Y/n?" You looked up when you heard an unfamiliar voice call out your name and smiled when you saw who was standing there. You couldn't believe it when you saw who it was it was as if the universe was throwing you a bone since Taehyung wasn't coming to meet you.

"Seungmin?" You questioned as you looked up at the boy you used to know really well. You and Seungmin had gone to the same school for years and got along well with one another but after graduating you grew apart and ended up losing touch with one another. He didn't look much different than before only a lot taller and his hair was dyed black rather than his natural brown colour but it felt so weird to see him after all this time.

"What brings you out here?" You laughed softly as you pushed the chair that was in front of you out from under the table so that he could sit down with you. It had been so long since you'd even seen him it felt odd to just bump into one another while you were out and around the city. You figured he would be too busy with his own group to come to smaller places like this. You'd watched him on his show and always sent moral support online whenever you could, not knowing if he'd see it but still wanting to be there for an old friend.

"I come here a lot, I've never seen you before it's normally some couple sitting here," You felt the heat rise up over your body as you thought about someone see you and Taehyung here together and you nodded. Clearly, no one knew it was Taehyung since he was always in a disguise, the same hat, sunglasses and mask to keep himself hidden away. The booth was normally reserved for you and Taehyung to sit in by the couple that ran the cafe, they always made sure your spot was free.

"Guilty, it's normally me and my boyfriend," You smiled at Seungmin and he smiled back, the huge puppy dog smile you loved so much spreading across his face.

"Do you want to join me?" You asked as you waved over the owner who had been staring at you wondering who it was that had decided to join you.

"You look busy, I don't want to interrupt anything..." Seungmin said slowly as he looked at the papers that were covering the small table. Even though he really wanted to stay with you and do nothing but sit with you all day he didn't want to stop you from doing your work. The truth was that Seungmin had always had a crush on you even when you were in school together, he'd always had a puppy crush on you. Although everyone else knew that it was obvious you were oblivious to it all, just thinking he was a close friend.

"I'm just working on a song but I'm struggling. Maybe you can help?" You suggested as you showed him everything you already had down which was half of a drawn spider-diagram with the words, "Lovesong," written in the middle.

"Love songs? Not your field of expertise?" He asked as he sat down in the chair and looked over the notebook, small doodles of hearts and things were drawn around the edges but not much else. It was a lot like most of your work in school with the doodles around the outside edges.

"You would think I'd be great at them but I always seem to write the same thing over and over again." You admitted as you scratched the back of your neck, normally you would be able to write non-stop but when it came to love you only knew one kind and you didn't want it to be one-note for everything.

"Can I get my usual please Zyliara?" You asked the owner who had already taken out her notebook and wrote it down before turning to look at Seungmin for his order.

"Oh, can I get a strawberry milkshake and taiyaki?" Seungmin thanked Zyliara and you laughed again at the thought of his order. Some things never changed after all the time in the world,

"It's still your favourite? I remember you would only ever order that whenever we went out for lunch in our final year," You smiled as you remembered fond memories from your time in school. Seungmin made the process of something that was normally terrible that much more bearable.

After catching up with one another the two of you finally got down to working on some love song lyrics. You had a small mp3 player with the track you'd made which made the process a lot simpler but what both of you had failed to notice was people seeing you both. Passing you in the nearby window and noticing that it was Y/n Y/l/n famous songwriter and Kim Seungmin from Stray kids. Once photos were taken of the both of you it spread like wildfire but neither of you had noticed since you were so lost in your own worlds. You'd gone home that night happy that the song was almost complete, you had some minor adjustments to make to the chorus and backing tracks but other than that the song was perfect. Seungmin had been a great help to you, you both exchanged numbers so you could catch up again and even work for him sometime in the future if his company allowed it.

"Alright! I'm coming jeez!" You called out to whoever was frantically ringing your doorbell at 8 am on a Thursday morning. It was far too early to be woken up like this, you scrambled over to the door and angrily swung it open to see who was standing there,

"Tae?" You questioned rubbing your eyes as he made his way into the apartment with an angry look across his face. He was red in the face as he burst through the door but you couldn't think why he would be so mad at this time in the morning. The last time you'd spoken to him was before you went to sleep after leaving him a voicemail telling him that you had finished the song you were working on and didn't need help anymore.

"I thought we were going to work together...I thought it would be nice to write about our love life..." You frowned as he spoke so fast you could barely understand what he was trying to say to you. Shutting the door to your apartment you walked further into the house to ask him what was going on,

"Tae what are you talking about-" You stopped questioning him when he pulled out his phone to show you articles after articles about you and Seungmin sitting together. Photos were splashed everywhere with different titles, one of them being,

"The collaboration of a lifetime." And another of you and Seungmin rather close together edited with hearts around your heads and labelled,

"Kim Seungmin and Y/n Y/ln spotted cosying up to one another...Another hot love life or another hot single coming to the charts?" You stared at the phone for a second before looking back at Taehyung.

"Tae, he's an old friend..." You tried to tell him but nothing was going to stop Taehyung from being hurt by the way fact that you were writing a love song with somebody else. Somebody that wasn't him.

"Does he even know you have a boyfriend?!" He snapped out jealously as he looked at you, throwing his phone down onto the sofa behind him as he waited for you to answer him. All he could think about when he saw the images was how everyone was going to assume you were a couple with him now. That his girlfriend was going to be seen with other male artists who were

"Yes, he's seen us together before but he doesn't know who you are since you're always in disguise. Tae we're just friends," You told him again as you tried to make it seem as though it wasn't a big deal. Which it wasn't. Seungmin had always been someone you saw as a younger sibling, nothing more and nothing less.

"But why did you finish the song with him...I thought we were going to do it together? We should have done it together, we're the couple here..." You knew why he was upset over it so you tried not to get angry at him for this.

"Tae. You've been so busy I thought you would have been relieved not to have to stress out over another song with me." You admitted as you took his hand in yours, trying to calm him down as much as you could you gave it a small squeeze. You didn't want this to turn into a huge unneeded fight between the two of you.

"It wouldn't have stressed me out...Writing with you is one of my dreams Y/n...We've spoken about it for months," He admitted as he looked at you you smiled weakly as you met his gaze, he looked tired. More so than usual now that you looked at him properly. He had bags under his eyes and looked like he hadn't slept much in weeks.

"How about we write a different song together, our own song? One for you and me alone?" You suggested as you reached up to cup his face in your hand and run your thumb over his skin. His eyes slowly fluttered shut and a tired smile began to grow on his face at the contact of your hand and he leant against it, snuggling against your hand as he enjoyed the feeling of being there with you.

"That sounds good." He moaned out tiredly, enjoying the feeling of your hand on his skin too much to fight back against it, not that he wanted to. The idea of you having your own song sounded better than someone else singing about your love together.

"Do you know what will sound better?" You asked him as you moved your hand down to his shoulders and began to massage him through his clothes,

"Hmm? What?" He hummed as he opened his eyes slowly to look at you,

"I run you a nice hot bubble bath, I give you a massage and then we order in? Let me make you feel good Tae," You suggested as you looked at him he nodded happily. Nothing sounded better to him right now than spending the entire day off. Since he'd already called in sick to the boys anyway, there was nothing back home that he had to get home to and he could spend all his time with you instead.

Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @rjsmochii @fan-ati--c @kneel-begyourpardon @taestannie @bisexualmess007 @innersooya @sw33tnight @sweeneyblue1 @jin-from-the-block

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chrstbll · 3 years

Text

miracles and lucky days| ben hargreeves

(gif not mine)

+tags: @lalisbitch @spaceclone-mom , @meowmeowrex23 @strangeyouthcrusade

plot: after coming back from the 60’s, instead of finding the sparrow academy, the group come face to face with a much more positive outcome of their actions.

The words of Klaus were diluted, inaudible and ringing loudly in your head. Your limbs could barely hold the weight of your body, and the nausea from jumping between timelines hitting your stomach didn’t quite put you at ease. All was blurry at first, not hearing nor seeing properly caused you to feel light-headed as well, but before your legs or your mind gave in, somebody strong arms held you up protectively.

- Are you good? – Diego’s gentle call for you brought you back to reality. He was always a little bit concerned about you. He didn’t show it in great actions, it was in the seemingly unimportant things he did for you. There wasn’t anything romantic involved between you two, instead of that it was a deep understanding of each another that made you appreciate the other significantly. You nodded to confirm that you were in fact all right, shrugging it off with a smile.

Klaus was right. After you successfully registered what he was saying, a wave of relief washed over your heart, mind, and soul. Your whole being. For once, all seven of you managed to successfully jump back to 2019 without any harm or mistake being done. It was quite unbelievable. A dreamlike scenario which proved itself to be nearly impossible to believe. Looking around the hall, everything seemed to be all right. It felt okay. The aura was intimately comforting, yet something was amiss. Different. Changed. It certainly was not a malicious ambiance that you discovered, but one new, something yet unexperienced thing. The others noticed it too, as all six of them were looking around suspiciously. Memories, feelings, and people rapidly invaded your mind, those you haven’t thought about a lot. Pogo? Grace? Are they okay now?

Luther suggested to enter the living room ahead of you, so that’s what you all mutually agreed to. Five was the one who went further on before you heroically and begged all of you to proceed with caution, because we don’t know what’s waiting for us there. The walk from the hall to the living room happened painfully slowly given that the feeling of uncertainty was sitting in one and all’s eyes and was at fault for your lack of speed. Upon realizing the academy was unnervingly noiseless, the anxiety birthed a huge lump in your throat, which you couldn’t swallow. Your heart was terrified from the possible negative outcome of this time jump. What if that moment of clarity and amenity was only a façade and was only felt because none of you faced reality in the short but drunk moment of arrival? Sometimes you thought about how nice it would be to just live without worry. To live in pure bliss, without a care in the world. Without a problem in the universe to solve. How astonishing it would be not to recall what loss, trauma, or sadness feels like. But then again, we would live in ignorance that way.

Turning towards the divans and sculptures in the living room, your attention automatically focused on the small moving figure, who was absentmindedly cleaning the shelves with dusting feathers. Recognition hit you like a truck, as the character of an ape appeared before you. Your breath hitched in your throat. Mercifully, it was a positive reaction, a sentiment you haven’t undergone in a long time.

- Pogo?! – Allison was the first one to call out their siblings’ friends’ name. Barely letting his name roll from her tongue, the sea of emotions instantly overthrew her, and tears stormed down her face. Their beloved guardian turned around in shock, he looked so puzzled, it was as he didn’t recognize the people in front of him. You feared that was the case. What if we screwed it up even more?

- Oh, children. I was waiting for you all to return – he’s spoken politely and gifted us with a kind smile, just like he always did. You almost forgot what a courteous and caring figure Pogo was. His scarce although deep voice reminded you of simpler times. A type of nostalgia which you subconsciously yearned for god knows how long. Everyone gathered around him in a matter of seconds, engulfing him in a suffocating hug. Pogo was still bewildered from the sudden act of affection, as you all were from seeing him alive and breathing, but in this instant of happiness, the questions why and how didn’t matter. What mattered was the present minute, what you currently knew as is.

And next, a voice broke the silence.

Who would dare to turn around first? Who wanted to confirm that the voice that was just heard from behind them, came from a legit source? On a serious note, was it even real? Your minds are only playing tricks on you. You were ecstatic for having Pogo back, but it would be too good to be true to turn around and see the possessor of the voice. We can’t have all the wonderful things. It never went that well for you. Your bodies turned stiff, and your feet were frozen on spot. But what made you fear to turn around? The horror of hearing something that’s not truly there or facing it bravely. Something…someone you haven’t faced in roughly two decades.

- What the hell took you guys so long? – the annoyance sounded so raw, hence genuine. You could hear and understand the words crystal clear; then why didn’t you believe your ears?

The group hug disassembled at a snail's pace and turned to face what they never expected to see ever again in their lifetime. You, on the other hand, had secretly wished for a moment like this. Your heart was aching for the chance, not caring about being rational nor delusional. It kept the faith in your soul steady.

- Please, tell me I’m not the only one who can see him – Klaus muttered.

- Ben – Diego confirmed in a hushed tone without letting out any more words as he didn’t need to. He was the bravest out of all of you to speak up.

So, there he stood in his monochrome outfit, with his black leather jacket hugging his form and a coy smile painted all over his face. The faint rosy cheeks, lively eyes and vivid emotions displayed told you everything. The Ben standing in front of you was very much real, and more importantly, alive, and well.

- All of you look like you’ve seen a ghost – he grinned from ear to ear, and his light-hearted joke legitimately freed your body from the tension which held you in your place so aggressively. Number Four didn’t hesitate one second longer, and slammed himself against his brother, who sweetly returned the embrace. Registering it, savouring it, then finally loving the physical contact, Klaus broke up in a hysterical laughter. The group succeeded to pull the strings in a way his death was luckily prevented. How the hell did we manage this? But he didn’t care. All that mattered was the present minute, what he currently knew as is.

- You’re telling me, man – his laugh slowly started to die down, but his joy only rose. Of course, a group hug was crucially needed and initiated effective immediately. Everyone surrounded him, and you held onto each other tightly, so he never slips away from your grasp again. You admitted it to yourself, that it felt heavenly, but more precisely, it felt so damn terrific. The others eventually backed away, but you stayed right in front of him.

- Hey, you – were all he needed to say for you to go flying into his arms – Where have you been? I missed you – his confession was a simple, warm, and loving anecdote, and it broke your heart in the best way possible.

You missed me?

Your loud sobbing, and ocean of tears was baffling and a mystery to him, and he looked at the others with a perplexed expression. They asked him to just let you be because they understood everything perfectly. Each tear was valid and every one of them had a reason. His arms were wrapped around your body, as he was shielding you from all the cruelty in this world. His embrace wasn’t tight, but fond and sensitive enough. You weren’t greedy at all; it was just all too marvellous. Hearing his stable beating heart as he held you close to his chest completely fulfilled you. A featherlight kiss was tenderly placed on your forehead by him, in an attempt to calm you down. It failed, as more droplets of salty water coated your apple-like cheeks. Even so, the kiss was given so compassionately, it must have come from heaven itself.

Maybe you were in Heaven. Maybe your life ended when you arrived in the hall. This isn’t real and I’m probably dead in Diego’s arms by now. But what if you accepted it as your reality now? You couldn’t believe it, even after feeling his touch and his kiss on your body. It might be because you thought you didn’t think your wish to see the person closest to your heart again would ever come true. After the horrific months you went through, it was certainly an impossibility to be gifted with something this enormous, significant, and joyous.

Maybe miracles and lucky days exist. Maybe they existed both on the same day in favour of you. I’ll accept this, I deserve this. You absolutely deserve to be happy and to drop the burden that’s been weighing on your soul for years. Nobody deserves to live their lives in inescapable guilt and grief. Having Ben back in all your lives meant the world to you. You were thinking about how you might have to fill him in on the details of the previous events, but that was a case for a later part of the day. For now, it was nice to bask in his love and warmth. You’ll care about every other issue later. This was the only feeling that mattered in that moment. Peace finally taking its rightful place back in your heart, which has been waiting for it for a long time now. He radiated pureness, an energy which was incomparable to anything else. Clutching his jacket was your anxiety making sure he doesn’t leave again. Maybe he was reading your thoughts, but at the same time he was realizing he’d never leave you even if it meant his life.

- I missed you too.

#ben hargreeves #umbrella academy #the umbrella academy #netflix tua #ben hargreeves x reader #ben hargreeves imagine #ben hargreeves fluff #ben hargreeves fanfiction #tua x reader #the umbrella academy imagine

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writer-in-the-dark-prompts · 3 years

Text

170 DIALOGUE PROMPTS BELOW!!

source: @stylesharrys

(L) love prompts:

“Can I get you anything, baby?” “So what if I’m whipped? I’m happy.” “I wrote another song about you.” “I think we should get married, it’s about time.” “My mom wants to know when we’re having kids.” “You’ve got my heart, please don’t break it.” “I want you to move in with me.” “I think you’re my soulmate.” “Never thought I’d find a love like this.” “Can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

(A) angst prompts:

“Did I not mean anything to you?” “I see your face everywhere. Don’t you get that? “I didn’t think it would end this way.” “It’s killing me to see you go.” “Maybe things could have been different in another life.” “I wasn’t enough for you, I think you’ve made that clear.” “Life is just simpler when you’re gone.” “She’s/he’s dead… I’m sorry, but she’s/he’s dead.” “I think it’s best if you stay away. I don’t want to be around you right now.” “I just feel so alone, okay? I feel like I have no one.” “Are you afraid to die?” “Can’t you see how fucked up this is?” “Because you scare me, that’s why.” “When did you stop loving me?” “What happened to you?” “She/he walked out on me, that’s all there is to it.” “Should have known it was too good to be true.” “Please don’t take him/her away from me, please. I’ll do anything.” “Somebody help me, please!” “Is anybody out there?” “I just wanted to keep you safe.” “Can’t you see what you’ve done to me?” “You don’t have to do this.” “There’s got to be another way. There’s always another way.” “I’ve lost the will to fight.” “I’m trying my best.” “I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want.” “I’m not just some play thing you pick up whenever you need a quick fix.” “I don’t wanna do this anymore.” “Just one more chance, I’ll do anything.” “All I know is that I was in love and he/she wasn’t.” “It uh, it was a dare.” “I might’ve just lost the only good thing to have happened to me.” “My mom misses you, you know.” “I wish I never fucking met you.” “Sorry isn’t going to fix it this time.” “I got stood up.” “He’s/she’s in love with someone else.” “I’ve got nowhere else to go.” “Are you ashamed of me?”

(F) fluff prompts:

“Can we trade? I like yours better.” “You’re kinda cute, you know… only kinda.” “You kiss your mother with that mouth?” “Do you think can just cuddle or something?” “I hope you know by now how much you mean to me.” “I wouldn’t do that to you.” “Do you ever wonder if we’ve met in another lifetime?” “I feel like you’re far too happy right now.” “Can you come with me? I don’t wanna go on my own.” “Yes, I have feelings for you. Moving on…” “I like my shirt on you, it looks cute.” “Will you just marry me already?” “Hold my hand?” “Baby, can you please shut the fuck up.” “It’s not up for discussion, you’re my date.” “Does this mean what I think it means?” “Tell me about your day, baby. Let me make it better.” “Everything about you is amazing to me.” “Can you stay? I don’t want to be alone right now.” “You don’t have to pretend around me.” “Have I told you I love you today?” “Hands off the merchandise, baby.” “You know, sometimes I feel like I have a child for a boyfriend/girlfriend.” “Paint my nails? I want the same colour as you.” “I like your hair, it’s pretty.” “Do you want wine instead? Gin makes you a little bitchy.” “Baby, you know I’m always gonna be right by your side.” “You should sleep, it’s been a long day.” “I will always choose you.” “I can’t begin to put into words how much I’ve missed you.”

(S) smut prompts:

“You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?” “Are you trying to seduce me?” “Open your mouth, baby.” “Don’t make me tie you up?” “Aw, does my baby like that?” “Don’t give me that look.” “Try to stay quiet, or you won’t get to cum.” “Take it, I know you can.” “Get the camera.” “Holy shit, that’s hot.” “Stop being such a tease.” “Can he/she make you feel this good?” “Strip for me, baby. Give me a little show.” “If you want to act like a brat, you’ll get treated like a brat.” “Come here, Princess.” “You just couldn’t wait, could you?” “You know what helps me when I can’t sleep? Masturbating.” “You taste so fucking good.” “I could do this for hours.” “The second you make a noise, I stop.” “Maybe you should just sit on my face.” “I know exactly what that mouth can do.” “You’re fucking perfect, you know that?” “Fuck that attitude out of you.” “Your soaked cunt just can’t get enough.” “Please, I’ll be good, I promise.” “You know how much I like to hear you beg, baby.” “Want me to cum inside you?” “Pull my hair.” “Touch yourself.”

(D) danger prompts:

“Touch her, and you’re dead.” “I’ll come back for you, I promise.” “We’re not alone.” “Keep your eyes closed and don’t make a sound.” “They’re going to take you, we’re trapped.” “Listen to what I’m trying to tell you.” “It doesn’t matter what I want.” “Baby, we are the law.” “They’ll have to go through me before they get to you.” “It’s my life over yours, don’t you get that?” “You’re my Achilles heel, they will do whatever it takes to get to you?” “I won’t let anything happen.” “Do you trust me?” “Are they going to find us?” “I need you to stay close to me.” “When are you coming home? I’m… I’m scared.” “You don’t intimidate me. Cut the act.” “Put the knife down, I’m not going to hurt you.” “For once, I’m not the bad guy here.” “I’ll kill and I’ll maim and I’ll torture for you.” “You’re a woman, that immediately makes you a target.” “If we did it my way, he’d be dead already.” “It’s gonna blow, take cover!” “You left me there, like some fucking piece of meat for the taking!” “Take my gun and run.” “The thought of losing you makes me sick. I’d rather die.” “Somethings wrong… I don’t feel good.” “Are you crazy? You think the police are gonna help us?” “You’re safe. No one is going to hurt you.” “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

(Q) question prompts:

“What did you wish for?” “How is that possible?” “You didn’t mean it, did you?” “Why does that sound like a terrible idea?” “Why did you say that, back there?” “Why won’t you let me help?” “Will you forget about me?” “Do you want me to stop?” “Are you angry with me?” “Can you come here?” “Will you be my fake date?” “Are you seriously lying to my face?” “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?” “How stupid are you?” “You think that’s going to work?” “How many times are you gonna break my heart?” “Don’t you want a family of your own?” “Does it ever scare you?” “You didn’t think about me… at all?” “Are you busy?” “Why do you run away from your problems?” “Do you think this will last?” “When will you shut the fuck up?” “Marry me? Please?” “Given the chance, would you choose him/her?” “Ever think about how different life could be for us?” “Miss me?” “Are you warm enough?” “What do you want to eat?” “Why won’t you ever admit how you feel?”

#writing prompts #dialogue prompts #prompts #otp prompts #platonic prompts #writing #dialogue #fluff prompts #angst prompts #smut prompts #danger prompts #question prompts

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hesther-mcg · 4 years

Text

fire lady, prequel

pairing: zuko x reader

warnings: explicit language, ~angsty~

a/n: this is for the lovely @fromthewatertribe’s 1k event!! congrats on this major accomplishment love 🥺 i will definitely be writing more for the event, and i really look forward to it!!

fire lady, prequel fire lady, part one fire lady, part two

prompts:

4- i’ve always been in love with you, since the beginning

8- i thought you loved me

25- you have no idea how much you mean to me

44- i’m sorry i’m not good enough for you

“Miss (y/n), you must understand,” the head of the Royal Council sighed exasperatedly.

You said nothing. Your hands shook underneath the table of the meeting room you had been summoned to, and you gripped the fabric of your robes tightly. You must understand?

He’d just told you that you weren’t good enough for Zuko now that he was Fire Lord.

“What exactly am I supposed to understand?” You asked lowly, looking the man dead in the eyes. You weren’t scared of him, and you weren’t scared to fight the entire Council; they weren’t shit compared to the war you’d just fought in.

“The Fire Nation is in a very fragile state right now, and will continue to be for quite some time. Fire Lord Zuko has a lot of work ahead of him, and one of the most imperative things is his public image. You’ve been in the Palace for a short while, Miss (y/n), but we’ve seen enough to know that you would not benefit that image,” he huffed. He acted as if this was no big deal, as if every insecurity you’d had since you and Zuko had begun dating wasn’t being thrown in your face.

“And what has Zuko said about these opinions?” You gritted, body heating up.

“He has not yet been made aware, and won’t be until you either remove yourself from the Palace grounds, or we have you removed,” he snipped. The stare off you both found yourselves in was intense. He was so sure in himself, like he knew for a fact that as soon as you left everything was going to become so much clearer and simpler for Zuko. It made you doubt yourself, was he right? Were you just not meant to be in such a position alongside the love of your life.

You stood from you seat, the legs screeching against the floor, and all eyes followed you. You said nothing, though, as you turned and walked towards the door.

“I suppose you’re dismissed,” the man that you wanted to punch in the face snarked.

“I would have left regardless,” you called over your shoulder, never faltering.

“Whatever feelings you and the Fire Lord shared when the stakes were high are besides the point,” he yelled after you, fists banging on the tabled before him as he pushed himself up. “We have a nation to rebuild!”

Your heart was heavy in your chest his words echoed long after you’d made it to the gardens. You were from the Fire Nation, and you wanted nothing more than for your home to finally have the peace and unity that you’d always longed for. Maybe he was right. You were loud, and rambunctious, and goofy, and improper.

Not a Fire Lady.

“And what are you doing out here all by yourself?” A voice interrupted your thoughts. You looked up, and when your eyes landed on Zuko they filled with tears. You averted your gaze and cleared your throat.

“Just thinking,” you replied softly.

“(y/n), what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Something’s been made painfully aware to me, Zuko,” you sighed, still not looking at him. “Priorities have shifted, and I’ve been told that I’ve dropped on your list,” you chuckled darkly.

“What are you talking about?” He asked in complete bewilderment. This was not even close to what he expected when he went searching for you.

“You’re the Fire Lord now, Zuko! You have obligations, and responsibilities, and this image you have to fit. And whoever you surround yourself with has to benefit your image, and I can’t do that.” The tears finally fell, slowly trailing down your cheeks. “If you stay with me, I’ll have to be somebody, and nobody thinks I can be that somebody; and I believe them!” You shook your head and turned away from him. “I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you.”

Zuko’s heart had dropped to the pit of his stomach when the tears showed up, but after your words registered in his mind it’d fallen to his feet. “(y/n), who told you that?” He whispered as he took a half step closer to you, and in return you jerked away from him.

“It doesn’t matter who told me! It’s not one person, it’s everyone, Zuko, and you seem to be the only person who doesn’t see it!” You yelled, whipping around to face him. The wind blew slightly, and the ruffling of the leaves filled the silence that followed your outburst.

“Who you are,” he started, voice low and gravelly. “Is exactly who I want you to be, I don’t want you to do or say or act like anybody but yourself. That’s why it does matter who put these things in your head, (y/n), because here you are, what, breaking up with me? Leaving me? I thought you loved me,” he raised his hands slightly, hurt seeping into his words.

“I’ve always been in love with you, since the beginning.” You cried before pausing to take a deep breath. “I love you so much, Zuko, that I’d be willing to lose you if it meant you got to fulfill your destiny.”

“If you love me, and I love you, then I can fulfill my destiny!” He exaggerated, walking closer to you. “It shouldn’t matter what anybody else says about you, or me, or us, because we know where we stand. We know who we are, and how much we love one another. I don’t want you to leave me, (y/n),” his voice quivered, and you launched yourself at him.

He caught you in his arms, and tucked your head under his chin. “I don’t want you to leave me, I actually want you to marry me one day,” he continued. “I want to rebuild this nation with you, I want you to interact with my people and make them happy the way that I know you can. I want you to make this entire place happy, the way that I know you can.” You pulled away and looked him in the eyes. “I want to have kids with you, and drink tea with you every day, and play Pai Sho,” he chuckled and you couldn’t help but join in. He wiped your cheeks and you smiled at him.

“You have no idea how much you mean to me,” he whispered before placing a kiss on your forehead, then on you cheek, then on your lips.

The advisor who had spoken with you had been fired, and replaced with someone new. A few people followed, but they were replaced as well; slowly Zuko was forming a council he could actually trust.

Slowly, things were falling into place. He had noticed a new confidence in you as you strolled through the corridors of the Palace, and you smiled at every guard and servant in a way that shocked them each time, and you went into the villages weekly. These were the very things that Zuko was told you had been reprimanded for, and it had infuriated him. You were being effortlessly you, and that was just how he wanted things.

#nina’s 1k event #the witch: writes #i will definitely #be writing more for this event #hi nina #❤️#zuko #zuko x reader #zuko x fem!reader #atla #atla x reader #avatar imagine #zuko imagine

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spookybreadstick · 3 years

Note

Dearest Toby Rodgers.

Good gosh and golly gee...just saying that name brings back memories. Getting pissy online over any criticism levied upon you, reading your story again and again, desperately trying to summon Slender Man in hopes he'd take me away from my lunatic parents, seeing you in my dreams...

It was a simpler time.

I've got a double whammy of autism and ADHD, and frankly, you helped me get through some tough times in my life. Maybe that's why you're still my favorite out of the others..I grew up with you. You were more sympathetic and understandable than Jeff, not supernatural like either Eyeless or Laughing Jack..you're a person, just like me. Sure, some people saw you as annoying, but you were teenage me's best friend, I had you on my lock screen, I wanted to buy the hats, the merch, you even introduced me to Masky and Hoodie, and thus, Marble Hornets, and MH still inspires me to write to this day. So...thank you. So, so much. You have no clue how much you mean to a random stranger over the internet.

Also, your hoodie is awesome. I wanna steal it.

Forever yours

Eli

𝘏𝘪 𝘌𝘭𝘪! 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦! 𝘍𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧𝘧, 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘮𝘢𝘯. 𝘓𝘶𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘤 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘯, 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘴𝘰 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴. 𝘐 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴. 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭, 𝘩𝘢𝘩𝘢. 𝘔𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺'𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘐 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘰. 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘚𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸? 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘷𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘷𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘢 𝘣𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘺 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺, 𝘣𝘶𝘵... 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘈𝘋𝘏𝘋, 𝘵𝘰𝘰. 𝘈𝘥𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘛𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦'𝘴, 𝘊𝘐𝘗𝘈, 𝘈𝘋𝘏𝘋, 𝘢𝘯𝘹𝘪𝘦𝘵𝘺, 𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘗𝘛𝘚𝘋. 𝘚𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘯, 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸. 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘪𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘢𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘰, 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘢 𝘥𝘰𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘥𝘢𝘥 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳'𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘏𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘵...

𝘈𝘯𝘺𝘸𝘢𝘺, 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐'𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦. 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵. 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘑𝘦𝘧𝘧'𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘴𝘴 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴. 𝘓𝘑'𝘴 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰𝘰, 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘴𝘰 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘌𝘑 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘺, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘥. 𝘏𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦, 𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘨𝘶𝘺. 𝘓𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦, 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘥𝘮𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘵. 𝘐 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧, 𝘵𝘰𝘰, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴.

𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘢 𝘸𝘦𝘪𝘳𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘮𝘦, 𝘢 𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘮 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯, 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘧𝘧, 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘧 𝘐'𝘮 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘵, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘧𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘭? 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦-𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐'𝘮 𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘵! 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺'𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥. 𝘏𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥? 𝘊𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥

𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘵, 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘏𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘪𝘴, 𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘵. 𝘐𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘏𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨? 𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮? 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐'𝘮 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦. 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐'𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵. 𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘛𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘋𝘏𝘋, 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘐 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘶𝘱. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵? 𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘭? 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦. 𝘔𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘢 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘪𝘵, 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘛𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘋𝘏𝘋, 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘪𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘳𝘺!

𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘺, 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘮 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘵, 𝘵𝘰𝘰. 𝘐𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦, 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦, 𝘌𝘭𝘪. 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐'𝘮 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘪𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘯. 𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘪𝘳𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺? 𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵. 𝘐 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘢𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘵! 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘰𝘸. 𝘉𝘺𝘦!

𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥, 𝘛𝘰𝘣𝘺

𝘗𝘚: 𝘓𝘺𝘳𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘚𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦!

This was a really sweet letter! Toby and I both love it <3 <3 <3

TRANSLATION:

Hi Eli!

Thanks for writing to me! First off, hope you’re in a better place, man. Lunatic parents are no fun, I had one myself so I know how it is. I appreciate you defending me against online bullies. Where were you when I was getting bullied in school, haha. Means a lot to know that somebody’s looking out for me out there though. You know, I used to wish that somebody would take me away from my life too. I didn’t know it would be Slender, but I just wanted to get out of my living situation, you know? I know you’ve probably heard my story on the news before, and you said that you’ve reread it a bunch of times so you probably know this already but... I’ve got ADHD, too. Add that to my growling little pile of disorders. I’ve got Tourette’s, CIPA, ADHD, anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. So fun, I know. I’ve also probably got bipolar and maybe autism in there too, I don’t know, a doctor once told me that but my dad brought me out of the doctor’s office and told me we were never going back there again. He also said some other things that I don’t want to repeat....

Anyway, I wanted to let you know how much it means to me that I’m your favorite. I don’t get a lot of that, and I get it. I can be pretty annoying at times, but you know I mean well. And you know, Jeff’s kind of an ass but he’s okay sometimes. LJ’s okay too, he’s just a clown so I try not to let him bother me too much. And EJ looks really scary, but he’s really not that bad. He’s always been patient with me, so that’s how you know he’s a good guy. Lot of the people here are pretty good people, deep down, even if they don’t want to admit it. I like to think that way about myself, too, but it’s hard on some days.

And even though it’s kinda weird that you had me, a random person, on your lockscreen and stuff, it’s flattering if I’m being honest, that somebody out there thinks I’m at least halfway cool? I don’t know how I could have been teenage-you’s best friend, but I’m glad for it! I’ve always wanted to be somebody’s best friend, and to have a best friend. Hey are you looking for a best friend? Cause I could

I have to be honest, I don’t know what Marble Hornets is, it sounds familiar somehow but I can’t place it. Is it a show that Masky and Hoodie like to watch or something? Is that how you know them? Whatever it is, I’m glad it makes you happy. And I’m real glad that it inspires you to write. I wish I could write, but I’m not real good at it. Between the Tourette’s and the ADHD, writing is not my friend. You don’t want to know how many times I got distracted while writing this or how many times I started this letter over because my tics messed it up. But it’s like really cool that you write. What do you write about? Something cool? You should send me your work sometime. Might take me a while to read it, again between the Tourette’s and the ADHD, it’s hard for me to sit down and read something, but I can try!

And hey, at the end of the day, I’m just a random person over the internet, too. It meant a lot to me to get your letter, to know I have somebody out there rooting for me, somebody who thought of me as a best friend even if I wasn’t really there, and somebody who thinks that I mean a lot to them. You mean a lot to me, Eli. Your letter was super nice, and I’m gonna keep it under my pillow from now on. Is that weird to say? I hope not. I just want you to know that I think you sound really cool and I really hope awesome things happen in your life because you were awesomely kind to me and you deserve it! Okay I’ll stop rambling now. Bye!

Your grateful friend, Toby

PS: Lyra made the original for me, but Slender’s had extras made for me because of his brother being like a fashion wizard or something. You could totally have one of mine!

#📨#📨 message a pasta! 📨#message received 📨#📨 letter from: ticci toby #🪓#toby rogers #ticci toby #🪓 toby rogers 🪓#🪓 ticci toby 🪓#🪓 Toby Rogers/Ticci Toby🪓#creepypasta #my version of the pastas #messaging the pastas #spookybreadstick

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matbarzyy · 4 years

Text

Impossible

A/N: If you follow me on main you might know I’ve been obsessed with Impossible by Nothing But Thieves, so I tried to use it to write a fic. It definitely deserves a listen if you wanna have that playing in the background while you read. This is a best friends to lovers fic starting off a lil angsty but it ends well.

Word count: 4358

Love it stings, and then it laughs

At every beat of my battered heart

Something was wrong.

You couldn’t tell what it was just yet, but the way Mat was texting you wasn’t normal. He wanted to talk, he tried to keep the conversation going, but the texts were empty of content. It was so unlike Mat that you didn’t realise how worried you were until you tasted blood in your mouth from the way you bit your lip.

He was a ray of sunshine and a dork, always throwing jokes around and acting like an idiot. Seeing Mat sad was a rare occurrence.

You didn’t know what put him in that state but you guessed he needed something to distract himself, so you decided to call him.

“Alright, what’s up with you?” You spoke as soon as Mat picked up the phone. There was a sigh on the other end of the line and a ruffling noise before you heard him.

“Nothing,” He replied weakly, trying to hide a sniffle by putting the phone away from his face. You picked up on it anyway.

“Mat?” Your voice softened and your heart squeezed. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” He admitted, unable to give you a better answer as he lay on his bed without moving, tears streaming down his cheeks.

You took it as a clear no. The only times Mat ever called you to cry were after hockey games he lost, and that was only if he was too far for you to be with him. Whenever he played at home you came to see him and stayed to celebrate or cheer him up depending on the outcome.

“Where are you?” There was no need to ask if he needed you, the answer was obvious, you just had to ask where you had to go.

“Home,”

“I’m coming over, hold on, okay?” You slid into your sneakers as quick as you could, too rushed to undo the laces and put them on properly.

“Okay,” He whispered so low you barely heard him.

He went quiet on the phone and you hung up after promising him you’d be there in no time. You lived close enough to him that you could walk, driving was pointless unless you had a lot to carry. Mat had made you pick this apartment on purpose when you moved to New York, he argued that he’d be close if you ever needed anything, and you had never been more glad to be there.

He was your best friend in school when times were simpler, and he somehow remained your best friend when his hockey career began. Things were different with the distance, but you were the little bit of home he could stay attached to. He had been ecstatic to find out you were joining him in New York after your degree so that you could work on a masters.

Anthony had quickly become one of your best friends too, and you all got along well with Mat’s girlfriend. Lena wasn’t as part of the group as you thought she would be when you first met her, but you didn’t mind it too much. You liked spending time with just Mat and Tito, she was nice but always calm and calculated. It didn’t fit with the spontaneous crackhead energy you shared with the boys.

You often wondered why Mat always reached out to you rather than her. You could understand when he went to Tito, he understood him when it came to hockey and guy things you couldn’t wrap your head around, but you spent endless nights questioning where you fit in the middle of that. Mat never let you feel left out, no matter how invested he was in his relationship he always made time for you.

“I’m here,” You called out when you unlocked the door. You had a spare key from the moment you arrived, officially because he needed someone to have it in case he got locked out, unofficially because he wanted you to be able to come over whenever you wanted. “Hey,” You found him in his bedroom, dried tears on his cheeks as he looked at you with heartbreak written all over his face. “What happened?”

“Lena’s been cheating on me for four months,” Mat whispered, his eyes falling shut as he dug his teeth into his lip to stop himself from crying again. He had been rehearsing the words in his head since you called so that he could tell you, but they still tore at his heart.

“Oh my god,” You sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over to engulf him in a hug. That at least explained why he called you. He needed comfort, and as sweet as Tito was he was also fiercely protective, you knew he’d go rip her apart if he found out now. Mat’s chest shook with small sobs while one of his arms wrapped around you, clinging to you for dear life. “Shit Mat, I’m so sorry,”

“I was- I was just going to surprise her,” He cried against your shoulder, tears beginning to soak your shirt. “And I found them,”

“Come here,” You breathed out as you slid onto the bed more comfortably, letting Mat curl himself against you. You had held him while he cried before, but you had never seen him look that small. “You deserve so much better,”

“I just-” He hiccuped. “I can’t believe she’s been doing this for so long,”

“I know… I don’t even know what to say,”

“Four years,” His words were so choked you barely understood them. He was the most broken you had ever seen him and your heart fell apart for him. No one should have to go through that, but it angered you more than anything that someone as sweet as Mat had to be the one to suffer from it. “I trusted her,”

“I know you did,” You nodded, gently running your fingers through his hair in a way you hoped would soothe him. On some particularly quiet nights at home when you were drunk with no one but him and Tito he liked to rest his head in your lap to make you play with his hair. It wasn’t something Lena really did for him, he had told you one day, but he never let himself be that close to you when people were around in case pictures circulated and she became unbelievably jealous again.

They had a fight about it once, and you wished you realised how horrible she was back then. She played it off on insecurities when it was pure misplaced jealousy, and you could now add hypocrisy to that. Mat was a good boyfriend, reassuring her and talking to you about it to make sure you’d know not to be too touchy when she was around.

It should have clicked in your head that she didn’t belong with him at all when he was forced to hide his affection for you and any other woman in his life. Tito might have been a bit smarter than you about it, he never even tried to take a liking to her while you made efforts to get along with her for Mat’s sake.

“I don’t want to fall in love ever again.” He sniffled against your shoulder, only calming down for a second before his sobs became louder.

There was nothing you could do except hold him through the rest of the night.

Somebody told me and I think they’re right

There is a change on its way tonight

It took a few months for Mat to feel better. He kept blaming himself, trying to find where he went wrong, and it took many pep talks from you to remind him that he was worth more than that. None of it was his fault, Lena was a heartless liar using him, and she didn’t deserve all of the tears he shed over her.

Tito helped too, joining your efforts as soon as he found out. Between the both of you Mat got plenty of encouragement and love, it was at least enough for him to appear fine to everyone else around him. Only you and Tito got his late night phone calls and texts when he got in his head and began blaming himself for everything that ever went wrong in his life.

Girls were still flirting with him, some of them asking him out on dates, but he turned them all away without a care. You thought he might get into a bit of a fuckboy phase to take his mind off things, but even that didn’t happen.

Neither you or Tito pushed it, he needed patience.

“You’re in love with him,” Tito accused you one night. He was the only one still sitting at the table you had secured in the bar for the rest of the team and their significant others. There was enough space that everyone was standing and mingling around the room. You were practically filling the whole bar anyway, there weren’t many other customers.

“That obvious, uh?” You gave him a weak smile, glancing in Mat’s direction.

“You’ve only been giving him all of your time and attention for the past year,” He shrugged. “I figured it out after I saw you turn down three dates the first month you were here,”

“Nice catch, I barely had it figured out for myself then,” You admitted, taking a weight off your shoulders. You had never been able to confess your feelings for Mat to anyone before. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that Tito was the one to figure it out. “I just don’t want him to know yet,”

“Why not?”

“Because he’s too scared to fall for anyone again, or I would have told him already,” You saw him down the rest of his drink and laugh loudly at something one of his friends said, and that sound alone made a smile appear on your lips.

“He trusts you though,” Tito brought you back to the conversation. He had spent enough time with you to know, and he wished the two of you could see things as clearly as he did.

“Not to let himself love me as more than just a friend,” You sighed, your heart squeezing at the thought. “I know what he’s going through, well, not to that extent, but yeah, I know the kind of trust issues that come with it,” You had spent a long time getting over an ex who only cheated with a kiss, and you had barely been with him for six months back then. You could only imagine what it did to Mat to find out his girlfriend of four years lied to his face for four months straight.

“I honestly believe he already has feelings for you, he just won’t act on them just yet,”

“Maybe… Either way, all I can do is wait until he notices,” You could still give him time. You didn’t blame him for keeping his distance, as much as it hurt you had seen the damage his last relationship had done to him and you were willing to wait. You couldn’t see yourself falling for anyone else, Mat was the only one in your heart.

“Mat might act like an idiot all the time but he pays attention to people, he knows how much you care about him,” Tito assured you. You didn’t see it, but Mat was always looking at you and turning to you for everything. You were more than just his best friend and it was painfully obvious.

Mat wasn’t doing it subconsciously either. He was all too aware of your feelings for him, and he fought with himself trying to repress his own for a long time.

You were his best friend back home, but ever since you came to New York you had become so much more than that. Even when his relationship still held up you were the person he shared everything with. You and Tito were his favorite people, he constantly hung out with you without realising what you truly meant to him. Tito was like a brother but it was different with you.

Accepting his feelings for you while getting over his ex was a lot to handle, but he eventually got there. There was only so much patience you could have, he was scared it would wear off before he grew the balls to jump in and tell you the truth.

He could see you sitting with Tito while he was out there drinking, and he couldn’t help but walk over. There was no way for him to enjoy his night unless you did too.

“Come on, you’re missing out on all the fun,” He cheerfully grabbed your hand and pulled you up from the table, motioning for Tito to join.

“Someone’s drunk,” You chuckled when he wrapped an arm around you and pulled you into his chest. Drunk Mat was always extra needy.

“Only a little,” He grinned down at you.

His loud laugh echoed through the room when you took the opportunity to tickle his sides, and he jumped away from you with a squeal. It was the most beautiful sound, one you had missed for a whole month when he never let himself be truly carefree.

“See! This is why I can never bring you to work related stuff!” He tried to retaliate but you blocked his hands, wriggling around until he gave up and put his arm around your waist.

“Why, because I always make sure we have a good time when we’re out?” You laughed at the memories of all the stupid things you had done together when he was supposed to act professional. Granted, trying to see which one of you could catch the most olives in their mouth while the other threw them hadn’t been your smartest idea, but that dinner had been boring and the backlash had been worth it.

“More like because he can’t focus on shit if you’re around,” Tito muttered and you bit your lip in response, wondering if that was really the case. Mat was just Mat around you, but was he different when you weren’t there?

“Something like that,” The brown haired giant remained oblivious to his best friend’s words, too drunk and excited to notice. “But now you need a drink!”

“I’m driving you home, dumbass,” You laughed and resisted his grip while he tried to drag you towards the bar.

“We can uber!” Mat’s face lit up like the idea made him a genius, and you had a hard time not turning into a puddle at the sight. He was so cute it was unfair.

“And leave my car here? I don’t think so,”

“Tito, help me,” Mat looked to his friend, puppy eyes at their finest, to convince him.

“I only had one beer, I can drive,” The man sighed, rolling his eyes at Mat’s behaviour. It was the best compromise so that you wouldn’t have to leave your car and Mat could get his way.

If he could anything that might finally get you two together he’d do it. He was sick of watching you like this when you should obviously be a couple. As stupid as it was, he hoped the alcohol would help you loosen up and get closer. Mat hadn’t been with anyone in a long time and he was obviously lonely, there was a solid chance you’d at least be cuddling by the end of the night.

“You don’t have to,” You tried to ignore the hand that tugged on your arm, making sure Tito was okay with not drinking for the rest of the night. You promised you’d drive, you didn’t want to ruin his fun.

“I don’t really want to drink more, you’re good, go,” He gave you a gentle push, and a second later you were stumbling after Mat because he often forgot how strong his grip was.

“Two shots of tequila and a rum and coke please,” He asked a little louder than he needed to, but the bartender clearly didn’t mind. The guys tipped well when they were out, and since the whole team was filling the bar you knew the whole staff was happily making more money than on regular nights.

“You really think you should be drinking tequila?” You laughed at his state, knowing he was only about to get worse. You didn’t mind it, he was always closer when drunk, clinging to you like a baby, and there was nothing you craved more than his hugs.

“Nope, that’s all for you,” He handed a bill to the bartender to pay for the drinks. “You need to catch up,”

“You’re going to be the reason I die one of these days,”

“Promise I’ll make sure you get home in one piece,” His lips pressed against your temple and you melted into him. He’d always make sure you were safe.

You didn’t know what to do with the mixed signals you got from him. Tito was right, you were almost sure he had feelings for you, but you wondered if he would ever act on them or if he would only want to keep you as a friend. You could only have your hopes up for so long.

The shots were placed down in front of you before you could let yourself overthink things more, and you took both with a grimace under Mat’s stare.

He was trying his best not to let himself ruin a potential relationship with you. He knew he loved you, but getting with you before he was ready would be a mistake. You were more than a rebound and you deserved to be treated right. Mat couldn’t be the one for you until he fixed himself, but knowing that gave him the energy to be better. He let himself slip into the depth of the love he felt for you, allowing himself to fall a little further every day until he was so in love with you he knew he could never go back.

The night ended as predicted, you and Mat were so drunk you laughed constantly and could barely walk, Tito tried his best to be patient as he helped you both to the car.

“Guys,” He groaned as you stopped once again, doubling over into a fit of laughter at something he didn’t understand. He was mostly amused but had to act serious for either of you to listen to him. “Come on, hop in,”

“Thanks Tito,” You gave him a big hug while Mat opened the car’s door.

“Yeah yeah,” He rubbed your back with a chuckle. “Get in there and hug Mat,” He guided you to the backseat where Mat already was, leaving the passenger seat empty.

“Tito said I should hug you,” You leaned over to him and rested your head on his shoulder as you did so.

He only hummed in response, wrapping his arms around you while Tito started the car. It would be a short drive to Mat’s place, and the three of you knew there’d be no need to drive to yours. Tito’s car was at Mat’s because you had picked them up there to come to the bar, so he’d be able to drive home and leave your car where you’d spend the night.

Getting up to Mat’s apartment was surprisingly easy. Your energy had died down in the car and you were both just dying to get in bed. Tito had to fight a little to get you both to drink water while you complained you were hungry, so he promised to make you food if you both just went to bed.

“Alright, everyone comfy?” Tito had to stop himself from rolling his eyes when he found you settled under the covers together. Mat was shirtless and you were in one of his t-shirts, you couldn’t look more like a couple. “Here,” He let you both sit up against the headboard before handing you plates.

“You’re ‘e ‘est” Mat dug in and spoke with his mouth half full of his sandwich. You nodded after him, looking up at the blue eyed man.

“Drink some more water before you fall asleep, okay?” He chuckled as he thought that soon enough all of your nights would look like this. You might have thought that Mat needed more time but Tito could see he didn’t, he had already let himself fall for you, you just had to let it happen.

I could drown myself in someone like you

I could dive so deep I never come out

Dinner at Mat’s was common, but a homemade dinner at Mat’s wasn’t. You didn’t hide your surprise when you smelled chocolate brownies baking in the oven as you walked in on a Friday night. Mat rarely went through the trouble of making food himself when he could get it cooked by someone else who would know how to prepare it right.

He had texted you to come over early during the week, so you knew he had this planned and it wasn’t just another spontaneous night you’d spend together.

“You cooked?” You took a look at what was in the oven while he stood by the stove.

“Um, yeah,” He scratched the back of his head nervously, moving a pan off the heat while you smiled.

“It smells good,” You reassured him and earned a relieved sigh. You had teased him about his cooking skills hundreds of times, but he really had tried tonight.

You sat with him like everything was normal although the dinner and bottle of red on the table told you it wasn’t. Mat was a nervous wreck, glancing at the candles he had left unlit on a shelf because he knew it’d be too much to add them to the table.

You carried the conversation easily through the beginning of the meal, giving him some more time to say what he needed to. You could see he had something to get off his chest, but you didn’t try to push it until dessert. You could barely believe he was serving you a homemade brownie with freshly cut strawberries and your favorite brand of vanilla ice cream.

He was slowly turning quiet, obviously thinking too hard.

“What is it?” You bumped your foot into his to get his attention.

Mat finally looked up from his dessert, taking a deep breath in before letting the words flow out.

“I’ve fallen for you so damn hard,” He put his spoon down, looking at you with a slightly awkward smile. Mat was rarely shy around you, but there he was, knee bouncing under the table and running his hand through his hair too many times.

“The feeling’s mutual,” You abandoned the rest of your dessert to focus on him with a soft smile. You thought you’d feel butterflies or excitement when it finally happened, but Mat’s confession only brought warmth to you. It made you feel like everything was finally falling into place.

“I know,” He breathed out, reaching for your hand across the table. It wasn’t the first time he held it, but it was the first time he let himself get amazed by how small it was in his. “I just… I thought it was impossible, I didn’t want that again. But you’ve got more patience than anyone else I know and… and you made it all possible,”

“I knew you’d need time to come around,” You ran your thumb over the back of his hand, looking straight into his eyes. Mat felt his heart melt at the sight, it was like you had known this would happen all along while he wondered if he was meant to be single for the rest of his life.

“I didn’t think I would,” He honestly answered, knowing he could voice his insecurities around you without fear of being judged. You had been his rock this whole time, his steady while he was a mess. “And I probably wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for you. You’ve pulled me out of my head so many times, so thank you,”

“Come here,” You pushed your chair back and got up while Mat mirrored your movements.

He pulled you into a tight hug almost instantly, placing a soft kiss on top of your head while you rubbed soothing circles on his back. There wasn’t a lot you needed to say once you were there, holding each other.

“I love you,” He gave you a gentle squeeze, the words floating in the air for less than a second before you replied.

“I love you too,” You pulled away to look at him, cupping his cheek and feeling him lean into your touch. “And I know how much it takes for you to say that, so thank you, for trusting me,”

“I’ve always trusted you,”

The tip of his nose touched yours and you both smiled, letting your eyes fall shut before your lips finally met.

In all of the years you had known Mat you had never exchanged a kiss, not even during a dumb drinking game. You had only imagined this moment a million times, and now that it was finally happening you could barely think.

His lips were soft, the stubble growing on his face tickled your skin, and it all felt like perfection. Nothing could have ever prepared you for what it’d be like to kiss the person you were in love with.

“Wow,” Mat whispered as he pulled away, his hands trembling slightly.

“Yeah,” You chuckled before a frown appeared in your face. “Hey,” You got him to look at you rather than his feet. “What are you so nervous for? It’s just me,”

“Sorry, I’m, uh, all out of practice when it comes to that stuff,” He admitted, his hands coming to your waist to hold you.

“How about we clean up and get on the couch so you can get practice again, mmh?” You kissed his cheek and instantly got a smile back on his face.

“That sounds perfect.”

Please reblog guys! Feedback and comments are always super encouraging and help me write more

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dex-xe · 3 years

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I've made Spotify playlists inspired by each of the ghosts and I've made these little written pieces to talk about them. if you wanna read them, please go ahead - if not then enjoy the music!!

This is Robin's playlist:

Somebody Told Me - The Killers

Robin is a stadium rock kinda guy, I guarantee you that. I’ve said this before multiple times but I love the idea of Alison trying to find music for all the ghosts that she things they’d like and he’d totally like music where he could watch gigs and festivals of people just going mental and jumping about. (I have actually written a fic here about Robin having watched stadium rock so yeah, go read that if you’d like!)

Starman - David Bowie

I feel like this is obvious cause space boy but also I interpret the song as being about the idea of accepting change. The Starman sits above Earth and knows things that “will blow our minds”, they understand more than humans do or ever could know much like Robin who has seen more than can be imagined and is wise beyond his time.

The Universal - Blur

This song encapsulates the two primary things I drew from in making Robin’s playlist which are space and the passage of time. But yeah, it’s kinda a sci-fi-esque song that I think is quite fitting. I’ve also seen a lot of discusison about how it’s a commentary on the downfall of society under the epidemic of believing everything you read which is like conspiracy theory Robin talking about the moon landing not happening and the Earth being flat.

Space Oddity - David Bowie

Just the image of Robin as a spaceman makes me happy, I saw some fanart of the ghosts in the outfits they described at clothes club and the one of Robin was so good!! (They are all great but that one in particular is super cute). If I can find it then I’ll link it here.

Spaceman - The Killers

Again, space vibes. Not writing much for this one because it’s self explanatory but also I’m writing this while listening the playlist through and I’m still searching for the fanart from the previous song XD

Run Boy Run - Woodkid

(Found the art) That scene where Robin is running through the woods to fetch Barclay in BitN always reminds me of this song because of like the fast pace and the way it would nicely meld with his like stompy running through the woods.

Starlight - Muse

Actually not chosen for the space theme (although it helps). Basically just the idea of being so far away from those you love, I feel like it goes so underappreciated that Robin is not a few centuries or even just a handful of deacdes away from his life like all the others but he is literally MILLENIA from his family and community. He must miss them so much, I think the whole “everything comes, everything go, but moonah always there” (not a quote cause I only have until the song finishes and can’t to search for the correct line) really indicates just how lonely he must be after literally thousands of year. He spent ~40,000 alone before even Humphrey turned up???

Carry Me Home - The Killers

See above answer but add in the idea of not really belonging where you are, like I said he’s 1000s of years older than anyone else and is way more out of his time than anyone else.

Dark Side - Blind Channel

This would obviously be one of his favourites from this years Eurovision so I had to include it, again I just think he’d really like energetic music so I think it’s a good call.

Baby You’re a Haunted House - Gerard Way

I wanted to include this song in someone’s playlist because, well it’s obvious, but I think it’s a pretty decent song. But yeah, I settled on Robin because of the lyrics focussing on like having to be happy and positive in love while dealing with trauma and inner demons and stuff and I think that’s potentially very Robin cause of the fact he’s been at the house for years and watched everything come and go. He’s positive and upbeat despite the obvious trauma he’s experienced.

Love Illumination - Franz Ferdinand

Basically thought to be about the idea that destruction and boredom is all around us so we look towards things that make us happy and spark love to distract from that. (According to Wikipedia) Alex Kapranos said that he would look to the bright lights of Blackpool for that love - the idea of light and illumination being important to Robin’s distraction and boredom-aliviation in the afterlife.

The Whole of the Moon - The Waterboys

Space boy space boy space boy. Kinda about the idea of somebody seeing and understanding more than others… obvious but yeah I really like the song and am very fixated on Robin’s process of growing into a world that is so unnatural to him but picking up on modern ideas through his time.

Ghosting - Mother Mother

I felt the need to include this for someone so after much debate settled on Robin cause he’s been there for so long and it’s just a nice vibe for him.

Kidz - Take That

I know this is about protest and uprising etc but I think the idea of questioning authority and the very concept of reality and looking to turn things upside down fits nicely with Robin’s loves of conspiracy theories and his unwillingness to accept things straight off but instead question everything he sees.

Cities In Dust - Siouxsie and the Banshees

This is one of my favourite Siouxsie songs: it’s about the destruction of Pompeii and I again think that’s very Robin because, like I said, he’s experienced the destruction of everything around him. Obviously on a completely different level to the fall of Pompeii and over a long period of time but everything he once knew lies in dust but he can’t escape what the world is like now.

Teenage Kicks - The Undertones

It’s just a punk anthem and just a classic, you know?? I have no further explanation but I dare you to tell me this is not a Robin song XD

Across The Universe - The Beatles

It’s not particularly about space or the universe but the vibe is good and the line “nothing’s gonna change my world” is open to my interpretation as being like holding on to the past while watching things outside your control change.

Fly Me to the Moon - Joytastic Sarah & YungRhythm

This is an obvious choice, clearly, but I wanted to include this version because it’s more modern and more representative of Robin’s acceptance of the new world and new ideas.

20th Century Boy - T. Rex

The meaning of this song are very much up for debate, I’ve never been able to interpret it I don’t think. But it just gave me Robin vibes, maybe it’s because of the modern pop culture references which make me think of someone kinda out of their time picking up modern ideas and kind of regurgitating it - much like Robin’s instant believing of conspiracy theories etc.

Apeman - The Kinks

Obvious but yeah, caveman. Kinda nostalgic for simpler times as it lists like tons of things that are shit about todays world (nuclear war, inflation, over population) and how much easier it would be to live in a society without those things - things Robin has grown up into rather unnaturally.

#bbc ghosts #bbc ghost robin #Spotify

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trashmenofmarvel · 4 years

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Branded - Chapter 24

Pairing: Demon!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky receives your Christmas present.

(This is a fan AU of Falling’s Just Another Way to Fly by araniaart. Please check out this incredible series for all of your demon Bucky needs.)

Chapter Warnings: So much fluff

AO3

You took your mission to get a present for Bucky just as seriously as your mission to seduce him. No alcohol was involved this time, just a little elbow grease and fighting through the cobwebs of the attic.

With your sister distracting Bucky downstairs after dinner (“Ohh, does this mean I can give him the shovel talk?!”), you had the time needed to find what you were looking for. A pile of cardboard boxes with your name written on them, along with the year you’d moved away from home.

You sat on the old wooden floor, opened a box, and began to rummage. Plushies and toys you hadn’t wanted to part with were in the first box. The next, various knickknacks you’d collected over the years. A crystal vial filled with water and gold flakes. A keychain full of dead Tamagotchis. A collection of bookmarks made out of wood and hand-painted with magical creatures.

Each new treasure brought a wave of nostalgia, bittersweet for a time when things had seemed simpler. No soul-sucking job. No demons stalking you, waiting for you to be alone and vulnerable to strike.

But there had been no Bucky, either. So while the memories held an alluring shine to it, you didn’t have a problem leaving the past where it was.

You came upon the object you’d been seeking tucked away in the third box. You opened it carefully, the weight surprisingly heavy in your hands. It was a picture frame, segmented into three parts that could close inward, almost like a book. An heirloom your grandmother had found at a flea market when her family had lived in New York.

It was clearly old, heavy with the weight of history, but the metalwork was delicate and beautiful. The last remains of a bygone era, a little bit tarnished and dusty but no less beautiful for it.

It reminded you of a certain other person from a bygone era.

Carefully putting away your childhood things and replacing the boxes, you went back downstairs and entered your mother’s study. The laptop on her desk was open to a webpage of a historical site regaling the Second World War. The glossy pictures you printed were still sitting in the printer’s output tray.

Taking the photos, you carefully cut them to fit the three windows of the picture frame. The pictures in them now were artistic drawings of anthropomorphic rabbits wearing whimsical, old-fashioned clothing. You carefully set them aside, planning to find new frames for your grandmother’s drawings; somewhere they could be displayed and not hidden away in the attic.

Technically, the frame was a family heirloom and probably valuable, but giving it to Bucky felt… right. He’d been a part of your life for much longer than two months, even if you hadn’t known it. The bond between you was strange, indescribable, and ran too deep to break. If that wasn’t family, you didn’t know what was.

Your mother would understand and forgive you, whenever you told her the truth. And you would tell her, someday. It was kind of unavoidable when you were dating an immortal being. You would go grey, and Bucky would always look the same…

The scissors froze halfway through a cut. What were you going to do when you grew old and withered? What happened to Bucky when you died? You’d thought about your own mortality plenty of times, but you hadn’t thought about the implications after meeting Bucky.

Would the bond break and Bucky would go on without you? Or would it hurt him. Kill him. Had the book said anything about the human slaves aging? All it had said in regards to death was they could die to protect the demon, giving the demon an extra life.

What if you couldn’t provide the energy he needed because you were too frail and gnarled with age?

What if Bucky didn’t want you when you got old?

What if—

Your jaw clenched and the scissors glided through the paper like a blade. Startled, you looked down at the photo, but thankfully you’d more or less cut straight. You stared at the photo, the last you’d chosen of the three.

A sepia photo of a handsome young man in a suit, the white dress shirt unbuttoned and showing the undershirt beneath, a familiar and easy grin on his face. Next to him, a scrawny blond boy who was much shorter, smiling reluctantly with encouragement from the brunet next to him. It was hard to believe the serious-looking boy would one day be Captain America and the young man next to him would become HYDRA’s most powerful soldier.

You carefully put the photo in one of the side frames. In the frame opposite, you placed a black and white family photo, one of Bucky, his sister, and both their parents. They were wearing their best clothes, the children on their best behavior, except the boy had an elbow pressed against his sister’s side as they both suppressed giggles.

The third photo, the one you placed in the center piece, was a simple one. A photo of Bucky in another suit, this one more formal, and his sister at his side wearing a pair of women’s trousers and a frilly blouse. They were both older than in the first photo, and according to the date, it was the summer before Bucky had been shipped out to Europe.

Bucky looked… happy. Genuinely, truly happy. You hadn’t included any photos from the war or him in uniform, though there were plenty to find. You didn’t think he’d want to be reminded of that time, and in all those pictures he’d seemed subdued, serious. It wasn’t an expression you were fond of, and the happiness he showed around his family and Steve Rogers was absent in them.

After all the pictures were secured, you leaned back and stared at them. You frowned and shifted restlessly.

What if he didn’t like it? What if it brought back painful memories he’d rather forget? You were confident that wouldn’t be the case, not after the fond way he’d talked about his family, but… reminiscing was one thing. Seeing the past staring up at you was another.

Sighing heavily, you stood and picked up the frame, closing it so only the polished metalwork was on display. It was better to get it over with, rather than stand here, frozen with the weight of doubt.

After wrapping the frame in pretty blue foil paper, you went into your old room and placed it on the bed. You took a deep breath—why were you so nervous?—and went downstairs to free Bucky from your sister’s clutches.

To your eternal shock, he didn’t look like a hostage when you found them in the kitchen. If anything, they seemed thick as thieves. Your eyes narrowed, suspicious of what tales your sister has clearly been telling.

And that’s when you froze.

Bucky was holding your infant nephew in his arms, looking for all the world like he’d done it a million times before. He didn’t look up at your arrival, his gaze entirely focused on the baby he was slowly rocking back and forth. Your nephew stared up at him with wide eyes, little chubby arms reaching up to try and grab a stray lock of hair.

You’d never experienced the phenomenon of “baby fever” before. You maybe wanted to adopt kids, sure, but have them yourself? It’d never been a priority or a desire… until that moment. The air had gone out of you like a sucker punch to the gut, replaced by yearning so strong it was a struggle to remain silent and not break the moment.

Somebody noticed your presence, though. Your sister was grinning at you like a shark from where she was leaning against the kitchen counter.

“There you are,” she practically cooed. “I was just telling Jacob about the time we snuck out of the house as kids and went to go perform ‘witchcraft’ in the middle of the woods at night.”

You made some kind of noncommittal noise, you were sure, because Bucky lifted his head and looked directly at you. Your nephew had managed to grab a lock of hair and was currently sticking it into his mouth.

Bucky didn’t notice, his entire focus on your face, a light frown forming. You still hadn’t moved or spoken.

“Did you find what you needed?” your sister asked, leaning forward to save Bucky’s hair from being eaten, lifting her son back into her arms.

“Uh. Yeah. I did.” You swallowed thickly, too much saliva in your mouth.

“Oh? What were you looking for?” Bucky approached, and when he was close enough placed a hand on your back and rubbed. The simple touch sent a white-hot flash through your system and you nearly choked.

“Nothing. I mean, something. Uh, you’ll see.”

Your sister gave you a pitying look over Bucky’s shoulder, and you communicated a silent what the fuck was that, you asshole, you know exactly what you did.

She returned the silent communique with a smug smirk, and then she drew you into a one-armed hug.

“I’m heading out, sis. Got an early drive back home in the morning. I’m gonna miss you.”

Your frustration evaporated in an instant and you returned the hug tightly.

“Drive safe,” you told her.

“You too. And call me more, or at least text!”

“I will, I promise.”

And you meant it too. You’d fallen out of touch with your family, and after appreciating everything Bucky had lost, you were going to make an effort to include him as well.

After you separated, your sister hugged Bucky with just as much enthusiasm.

“Take care of her, Jacob Miller.”

“I will.” Bucky tucked you against his side after your sister released him. Your face was on fire.

“I know you will,” she said with a conspiratorial smirk. “Because I watch a lot of crime dramas, and I know how to hide a body.”

“Oh, my God,” you groaned into a hand.

After your sister and brother-in-law said their last goodbyes and your familial humiliation was concluded, you couldn’t rush up the stairs fast enough, practically dragging Bucky behind you.

You shut the bedroom door and leaned back against it, releasing a sigh of relief, and then immediately sucked another lungful of air when Bucky crowded you against the door. His smile was amused but carried a hint of concern.

“Everything all right?”

“Yeah.” You nodded, smiling shakily as your stomach did flip-flops. It was hard to focus with Bucky so close, peering at you intently with those bright blue eyes.

“You sure?” He cupped the side of your face with a gloved hand, and you leaned into it immediately. “Because you got this weird look on your face. I didn’t go too far, did I? Your sister asked if I wanted to hold her son, and I didn’t think—“

“No, no.” You shook your head fervently, placing your hand over Bucky’s so you could squeeze it. “I’m happy you’re getting along so well with my family. Really. It’s… more than I could have asked for.”

His expression softened, the tension lines of his face smoothed out, and he leaned down and gently pressed his lips to yours. The kiss deepened when you tangled your fingers in his long hair, pulling him closer, and your knees would have buckled right then if he hadn’t been pressing you against the door.

What had started out as a chaste kiss was quickly going to end in somebody naked, so you pulled back and grinned at his noise of frustration.

“Just—hold on a sec,” you said. “I have something for you first.”

You ducked around him and approached the bed to where his gift laid waiting. Bucky was right behind you, not letting you go far as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“What’s this?” he asked, propping his chin on top of your head.

“This… is your Christmas present.”

Another small noise of protest when you turned around and tapped it against his chest.

“You really didn’t have to,” he said with a hint of exasperation.

“Uh, you took me flying. A little gift is the least I could do.”

Bucky looked from your face to the present, as if he still couldn’t quite believe it. When was the last time someone had gotten the guy a gift? No, you didn’t want to think about that sad question or you might start crying.

He took the present from your hand, his expression still one of vague disbelief. You bit your lip to keep from smiling and ended up failing anyway. It wasn’t every day that Bucky looked so… cute. There was no other word for the little dip in his brows and the slight parting of his lips.

It was nothing to the expression he wore once he pulled open your less-than-perfect wrapping job, opened the frame, and saw what was inside.

As the seconds tick on and his face didn’t changed, where he didn’t seem to breathe, your excitement slowly drained away.

And then when his eyes grew glassy and red-rimmed, you started to panic.

“Is… is this too much?” you quickly asked. “Should I not have—Did I make a mistake?”

His guise dropped in an instant. It wasn’t gradual like it usually was; it was gone so fast you only had to blink.

Bucky wrapped his arms around you and pulled you against his chest, face buried in your hair as if to hide it. A fine tremor moved through his muscles. He was shaking.

“No. It’s—it’s perfect. I… Thank you.”

You raised your arms slowly and wrapped them around him just as carefully, holding him as close as you could. Being held in Bucky’s embrace never got old, or tiring; it was a place you could remain forever. By the desperate way he held you tight, you hoped he felt the same.

“Where… where did you even find them?” He pulled back and stared down at the picture frame, wonder on his face. No tears had fallen, but he still looked painfully fragile.

“Online.” You rested your head against his shoulder as your eyes fell to the pictures. “Museum websites. Lots of information on Captain America, of course, but quite a few on his childhood best friend.”

“Huh.”

“You’ve never googled yourself?”

“Once. Didn’t care to do it again.”

You winced. Of course, you had to go and bring up the fact most of the information on Bucky wasn’t about him, but about the Winter Soldier.

“Right. Sorry. Stupid question.”

Bucky sighed and carefully set the frame down on the nearby dresser. Without warning, he grabbed you by the back of your thighs and lifted, picking you up before setting you on the bed, swallowing down your squeal as he kissed you, open-mouthed.

You immediately went pliant, wrapping your arms and legs around him to try and get closer.

“That’s better,” he said, voice a raspy growl when he broke the kiss. His eyes were dark, pupils blown as he eyed you like a tasty meal. “Can’t beat yourself up if your mouth is too busy doing other things.”

“I can multitask,” you breathed out. Bucky grinned, a hint of sharp teeth.

“We’ll see.”

Next Chapter

#demon!bucky x reader #demon!bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #branded #my writing #my fanfiction

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