#lighter and generally just more at peace?

[evilmenshoe80]

ADAM & MIKA

The meeting  

(WARNING: this is a guitarhero endgame fic with past adamsapple, don't like don't read, pretend I don't exist and that's it, thanks! ❤️)

It was a beautiful morning in the garden of eden. The birds were happily singing announcing a new morning, the breeze of the wind gently rocked the trees, generating a pleasant melody that filled the entire place, the warm rays of the sun filtered through the trees creating a beautiful yellow and orange collage in the skin of the first man, Adam.  

He slowly opened his eyes, taking a moment to fully awaken, before rising with a yawn. It had been a decent night, no nightmares after what he had feel like an eternity of waking up crying in the middle of the night, maybe his father took pity of him an removed his capacity to dream, that would be the best, something he would gladly accept, why dream? When the two beings that he loved the most abandoned him without a doubt.  

Lucifer, his best friend, his guardian angel, the one that guided him on his first years of existence, the only one that didn’t kneel when god presented him because in his own words “they were equals”, the angel that had made beautiful promises of a bright future for both of them.......the angel he hated and loved.  

And Lilith, his wife, the first woman, the other half that he didn’t knew he needed, the other fundamental piece of God's plan so that both could give birth to humanity, his equal as a human....his first love and the person he though it would be by his side forever. 

 

He remembered the day he saw the two for the first time. 

~~~~~~*~~~~~~ 

The earliest memory he has of his existence was waking up in a room full of light, with creatures similar to him, but not exactly like him, their shape was similar to his, but most of this beings were taller, easily covering him with their body, they had wings, their body was covered by a strange material, some had two eyes, others only one eye and some had many more than two and as a weird extra, they all had a weird looking golden shape above their heads, gently floating and following them everywhere they moved.  

But despite the strange look of these beings he didn’t feel scared or threatened in any way, he actually feel at peace, at ease, like he belonged there despite so many eyes looking at him, As he moved his gaze around, inspecting his surroundings, it landed on the figure next to him. A figure that left him speechless, this one has more similarities with him, but like with the other creatures it had some differences, the middle of her body was smaller, her hair was longer and with a lighter colour, similar to the light that shined in the place, her skin a different tone just like her eyes, which also were sharper than his, but with a similar light, she was beautiful, the woman looked at him with the same curiosity.  

Before he could try to form a word, an imponent yet gentle voice filled the room, silencing the whispers of the other creatures and making both humans turn around to face the origin of it. Their father, the creator of everything, god. Their voice was strong, with clear autorithy but at the same time, it was the most calming and beautiful sound adam remembers to ever hear, no singing of any other being or instrument could compare to the beauty that it was the melodic voice of the supreme being.  

“Adam, Lilith, my perfect creations” said the being of light “I welcome you to the world” 

“w-who are you?” said the first man, in a trembling voice that was more for lack of experience that for being afraid 

“i’m your creator, you can call me father”  

After some time of pure silence and of the first humans looking at each other, both with the same confused expression, lilith asked in a curious tone.  

“why...did you create us?”  

“I created you so you can start a new world togueter, new life, a new race, the human race, that’s your purpose”   

“purpose? What's that?” asked the first men  

“It’s what gives a reason to exist to every being that I create, and yours, it’s to create new life”  

“why?” asked both humans at the same time  

To this question, god stayed silent for a whole minute, which make the angels feel nervous and start whispering again, not because god didn’t knew the answer, they knew, but their father not wanting to answer right away had a meaning none of the humans could handle, at least not yet, so, god only answered: 

“because the universe cannot exist without it” said the creator, making the angels shut their bickering again.  

Both humans stayed silent and before either of them could ask another “why?” the father of everything pointed their stare at one of the angels in the room. A short figure with white skin, his cheeks adorned with blue dots that matched with his crystal blue eyes, golden hair that was decorated with a big blue hat with a golden ribbon, and a blue tunic that moved gently with the fluttering of his golden wings.  

“Lucifer”  

At the mention of his name, the angel spread his wings and approached the center of the room where God and the humans were standing.  

“Yes, father” the angel made a reverence  

God pointed their gaze at lilith and adam again “the name of this angel is Lucifer”  

Lucifer made a reverence to both humans 

“what’s an angel?” asked lilith  

“another of my creations, his purpose is to teach and protect you, guide you through the paths of life” he pointed his stare at every angel in the room “that’s the purpose of all of them”  

At this, all the angels started to kneel, understanding the weight of their creator words. Yes, all of them, except one. The angel that was at their side, lucifer. All the room was in a dense silence, the angels looking at each other and some at lucifer without daring to say anything. The humans stared at each other, like trying to get some answers, though both of them where in the same situation, neither knew why suddendly the atmosphere had become more than tense, suffocating.  

God seemed to be staring at lucifer, with an expression no one in the room could really read, everyone were expecting, waiting for god’s next words, their next reaction.  

“Lucifer” said the lord with a calm but firm tone 

“yes, father?” answered lucifer with a smile  

“Guide adam and lilith to eden” he looked at the humans “your duty is to name all the animals and plants in the garden, let your curiosity lead you to create new things” then he looked at the other archangels, lucifer’s siblings “accompany them, any question that adam and lilith have, you shall answer them”  

“yes, father” answered the archangels at the same time  

“I will visit you once you have properly settled”  

And like that, in the blink of an eye god dissapeared. After some seconds the other angels began to get up and stretch. Their whispering started again.   

“I hope everything goes well” 

“they look so fragile”  

“do you think they can make it?” 

“I can’t believe Lucifer didn’t kneel”  

“I know, his new position is getting over his head”    

Both adam and lilith looked at each other again, restless, hesitating to approach each other wanting to search some comfort at being the only “humans” in the whole place, life? Race? Purpose? What did all that really mean?. These creatures seemed to be have a higher understanding of things, why did they needed them?  

“adam, lilith”  

Both humans turned towards the soft but playful voice 

“I’m so happy you are finally here, we all have been waiting to finally meet you!” said lucifer with a smile “I’m sure that both of you have a lot of questions, but don’t worry” he pointed his hands towards his siblings “we’ll help you understand”  

One of the angels behind lucifer reached his hand towards him, patting his shoulder.  

“yes, michael?” said lucifer with a bright smile towards his brother  

“can we talk for a moment?” asked his twin with a conflicted expression 

“right now? But we have work to do! Lilith and Adam need-” 

“I can’t believe you didn’t show respect towards father’s creations” said gabriel “you know how much father loves them, how much effort he put in making them!”  

“geez, calm down gabe, I made a reverence and that was enough for father, he didn’t got angry or complained about my behaviour”  

“wow, a reverence, how respectful” said uriel with his arms crossed and an unamused expression 

Lucifer’s smile twitched at his brother sarcasm but before he could answer, michael interfered  

“Luci, I know you don’t mean bad or try to be disrespectful, but, try to follow the protocole next time, As high of your position is now and as much patiente father has, we have to remember our place and duties, ok?” said michael, with a sincere smile, full of brotherly love towards his twin  

At this lucifer stayed silent for a moment, like analizing his brother’s words “ok mike” then, his crystal blue eyes landed on the humans, who were standing very close to each other, and looking at the tense scene in front of them “I promise to behave” said the angel with a smile that made adam’s spine shiver. 

~~~~~~*~~~~~~  

Adam blinked rapidly and shaked his head, finally standing and making his way towards the lake to wash up, breaking free from that memory that hunted his mind constantly, he tried and tried to not think about it, it hurted, everytime that he remembered lilith’s curious stare, how she smiled at him, the way she holded his hand when they were walking towards the garden for the first time, how the feel of her soft skin made him shiver and feel heat on his cheeks, it hurted, remembering lucifer’s soft touch on his shoulder, his friendly chatting and mischievous smile that filled his heart with something he couldn’t understand at the moment, it hurted, it hurted, it hurted, IT HURTS, STOP! 

His mind was begging, PLEADING for rest, so many things happened before the angel and the woman decided to leave him behind, but it didn’t matter if they were good or bad memories, they all made him feel bad, feel things he couldn’t name or understand at all, and that only served to increase his anger.  

Adam arrived at his favorite spot in the lake, he let out a little sigh of relief at the feeling of the cool water on his feet, he looked at his reflection for a moment  

“Eve” adam said in a sad tone, as if someone just asked him about who he was thinking about 

The second woman, his second wife, his third love but not less special, his other half, the person that was created from his rib to fill the void in his heart, while the extraction didn’t hurt, her creation left a scar on his body that burned once he woke up from his sleep, a burn that he could still feel once in a while, he noticed that it was stronger when he missed her, which was constantly.  

Her eyes were the first thing he saw, they were the same as his, golden, with long reddish brown hair, her skin a little lighter than his but with the same golden freckels and shine, she was a little shorter but not too much, and her smile, that sweet and kind smile that he loved so much, that made him forget about the mess in his head, the feeling of solitude 

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you Eve” adam practically whimpered, feeling the hot tears running down his cheeks at the memory of eve being kicked out of eden, of her squirming and crying, trying to reach him, begging mercy from the angels, he had never see the angelic beings like that, it was the first time he felt an odd feeling towards them 

He had tried to reach her, but he was stopped, they couldn’t risk to lose him too, he tried to beg to sera, to the archangels, to every angel that was present at the moment but the decision was made, eve would be kicked out of eden for disobeying the only rule in the garden and try to tempt him to sin too, “luckily” for him the angels arrived before he could take a bite of the forbidden fruit, saving him from an unfortunate destiny. 

But the worst about all of it, as if the whole situation wasn’t terrible enough, is that she wasn’t alone in this, someone had tempted her, tricked her into disobeying god and ignoring her husband advice, the two beings that he had loved the most.... 

Adam couldn’t contain himself anymore and started crying, letting out whines of pain, letting out all the tears he didn’t though he had anymore, he already cried so much before, until his eyes hurted, until he felt like he didn’t had more tears to shed, but it seems like he was wrong.  

Why no one wanted to stay with him? Why no one choose him? Why it seemed like they didn’t cared as much about him like they said? would it be better if he took the apple from lucifer when he offered it? Would things have been different if he had the guts to bite the apple when eve offered it too? should he have fought harder to be with his wife? Was she doing ok? Where lucifer and lilith doing ok? Did they though about hi- 

The bombardment of questions in his mind suddenly stopped when he felt the soft touch of a large but delicate hand on his shoulder, soft and warm, he turned his head slowly until he found himself face to face with the owner of that hand.  

Seraphiel, or “sera” to shorten, the seraphim that was in charge of the order and correct progress in eden, it was needless to say that was not the situation right now, they had loss two humans and a powerful angel to sin, the plans for the progress of humanity had been put on hold until they could fix the current situation, the veteran angels were becoming more impatient and worried every day, and sera didn’t visit him as often as before, he was sure that she was angry with him, dissapointed, Adam was sure that they all would give up on him, that they would look for another way to give birth to the human race without him, since he was unable to keep his partners by his side. 

Adam was ready for bad news, for her to guide him to god and for his father to turn him to dust, to what he originally was, that would be merciful he though, that would stop his pain, his worries, every bad though in his mind, but no, for his surprise nothing like that happened, sera had that gentle and motherly smile she always gave to him, there was hope in her eyes, she didn’t say anything but something in her stare told him she has found the solution for all their problems.  

Without breaking her silence, she slowly moved, revealing a bright figure behind her. 

Adam was blinded for a second, before he laid his eyes on the person in front of him, it was a human, another man.....a very beautiful one.  

He was tall, taller than him, with a strong build and beauty marks in different parts of his body, his skin tone lighter than his with pink undertones, hair on his chest, arms and legs, he was wearing a short yellow chiton around his waist like him, his hair was long and blonde, some locks standing out from his shoulders, and his eyes, oh father, his eyes were sapphire blue, sharp and intense, locked on his golden ones, his pinkish plump lips curled in a charming smile that had adam practically hipnotized, he couldn’t stop looking, who...who was him? 

“adam, dear” said sera breaking her silence “this is your new husband, his name is Mika” 

“H-h-h-husband?”Adam stuttered 

Sera nooded and looked at mika “Mika, this is your husband, adam the firstman” 

Mika’s smile got wider before approaching adam and kneeling in front of him “hello adam, I’ve been told a lot about you, I hope we can get along, I’m really excited to spend time with you” 

Adam felt his body heat rise “I-I-I've been hope really excited to time with you”   

Mika gave adam an amused stare before letting out a giggle 

“sucessful introduction, excellent” the higher seraphim though to herself, now it was up to Michael. The warrior angel could do it, she was sure, after all, Michael never failed. 

~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~

(HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!! I FINALLY FINISHED THE FIRST EPISODE OF MY ADAM & MIKA (human!Michael) FIC!!! AAAAAGH I'M REALLY EXCITED! And omg, to the great writers of this fandom and any other, my respect for you is 100000 higher now, I erased so many parts of the history so many times, how do you do it?! 😭

And I'll be honest with you guys, this au at first was just an excuse to draw and write michael x adam smut hehe but know I really want to write something more meaningful for them, and I hope to do a good job, I'll do my best for my guitarhero fellows 🤝💕

also, I know what you may be thinking, "it's ridiculous how adam is so sad at the start of the story for his past lovers but sees Mika and suddendly he's happy and in love!" adam is shocked by his new mates beauty, that's all, Michael's new body was made specifically for adam to like it and feel attracted to, BUT believe me, I plan to develop their relationship more before we start talking about real love

thanks and good night!!! 😘)

@bluefrostyy I remember you wanted me to tell you when the story was out so, here it is 👍

[dhampir-dyke]

[itaipava]

— f1 boys as your boyfriends.

˒ ⌕ LANDO NORRIS:

he’s the fun and cheerful kind of boyfriend. the kind that spams you with his silly internet discoveries, like an interesting article or a tiktok video or random vlogs. the kind of boyfriend who calls you ‘beautiful’ all the time, even when you’re not looking or feeling good. the kind of boyfriend who gets over fights easily - the kind of boyfriend who makes it hard to be mad at him because he’s so genuine and generous. the kind of boyfriend who praises you constantly and has a genuine admiration for you. the kind of boyfriend who makes you feel heard and understood. the kind of who suddenly drags you into a store to buy cheap plastic ‘promise rings’ and then asks you as a joke; when the two of you stop having a good laugh, he says with a soft, content smile, “you know... i’m really going to do this one day.”

˒ ⌕ DANIEL RICCIARDO:

is the kind of boyfriend that lifts your mood and makes you feel lighter just being around him. he’s very open with his physical affections and words - probably the one who says ‘i love you’ first and he does it at the most random moment and with the purest beam of light on his face that makes your heart melt.  the kind of boyfriend who shows you off to friends;  you often hear “daniel don’t shut up about you, please help me” or “he’s so in love with you, it’s disgusting”. the type who calls you out of the blue and drags you off on unplanned dates - he’s sometimes the reason you end up neglecting your work, but he makes it up by helping you get through later.

˒ ⌕ CARLOS SAINZ:

is the kind of boyfriend who still looks at you with the same passionate gaze, no matter how long you’ve been together. the kind of boyfriend who picks you up wherever you are because he doesn’t want you to be alone, especially late at night. he is more of a listener in the relationship, but he also speaks his mind and values honesty. the kind of boyfriend who suddenly blurts out ‘you’re so beautiful’ while watching you laugh with your friends; even when others stop and turn to him, it doesn’t bother him, because it’s just the truth. the kind of boyfriend who kisses you a lot on the forehead and temple. the type of boyfriend who makes you feel safe, welcomed and protected just by being around him.

˒ ⌕ CHARLES LECLERC:

he’s the kind of boyfriend who pays attention at you even when you’re not looking at him, and unconsciously knows all the little habits you have. the kind of boyfriend who not only knows your little quirks on the surface but also understands you so deeply that you sometimes think he can read your mind. the kind of boyfriend who likes to sit beside you in silence while you do your own thing. the kind of boyfriend who tells you to go to bed early but also calls you and you end up staying up late because the conversation flows so naturally when you talk to him. the kind of boyfriend who loves watching you sleep while gently stroking your cheek with his thumb; your peaceful and lovely sleeping face makes him feel calm, as if he is right where he should be.

˒ ⌕ LEWIS HAMILTON:

he’s the very cuddly, relaxed and comfortable type of boyfriend to be with. he sends sweet little messages during the day to see how you are doing. he is also very tolerant and open-minded. the type who always seems to know what you’re feeling - he’s good at noticing small changes in your voice, expressions, habits or mannerisms, so “i’m fine” lies don’t really work with him. he’s so affectionate, always making sure you’re healthy and eating well. the kind that thinks a lot about the future together. the kind who marathons your favorite movies with you. the kind that brings you chocolate, snacks you like and other necessities when you have your period - comforts you and makes you smile when you have mood swings. the type of boyfriend who looks at you with so much love and affection that makes your friends fall in love with your relationship. the type of boyfriend who supports you in everything, but also gives you advice and helps you overcome your problems and difficulties. the type of boyfriend who makes his love for you obvious in everything he does for you.

˒ ⌕ OSCAR PIASTRI

the “best friend” type of boyfriend. he can be a little shy and awkward about showing his affection, especially at first, but there’s also this feeling of comfort around him. the kind of boyfriend who treats you like he’s known you forever, but still blushes and gets nervous whenever you praise him or kiss him randomly. more like a listener, but he’s so considerate when he talks; the kind that asks questions you never thought of or that no one asked before. the kind who have a verbal habit of saying “we” instead of “i” because subconsciously include you in most of his future plans - no matter how big or small. the kind that gives you so many kisses on the forehead. and whenever he hugs you, you can feel all his love for you, you can feel at home.

˒ ⌕ MAX VERSTAPPEN:

he’s the kind of boyfriend who likes to take you everywhere he goes: his favorite park, favorite restaurant, favorite cafe, favorite record store. the kind that remembers almost everything you like and don’t like, which makes him amazing when it comes to buying gifts, among other things. the kind of boyfriend who remembers your hours or when you’re free and calls you at those times because he wants to hear your voice. if you don’t, he likes to leave voice messages. honestly very sincere. he’s the kind of boyfriend who lets you use him as his personal pillow all the time; no matter where you are, if he sees you dozing, he won’t think twice before letting your head rest on his lap or shoulder. the kind of boyfriend who lovingly calls you an ‘idiot’, but you know, his idiot.

[lokidjarin-7567]

TTPD Contents

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?

Erik Lehnsherr x Reader x Charles Xavier After joining the First Class of Professor X’s school with your brother Hank, you realised you have a connection with two of the mutants there, and that they might also have a connection to each other… fem!reader, M/F/M, 18+ MDNI 6,258 words EDIT: I'm super proud of this one, maybe my favourite thing I've written! Thanks for all the love on it so far <3

“It’s not going to happen, Charles.” You muttered, frustrated, putting all of your energy into stopping him from walking towards you, but only managing to stop his hand.

“You need to go to that place between…” He started to explain.

“Anger and serenity, I know, I know. I’m not Erik, its not working.” He sighed, moving his hand to his forehead.

“May I?”

“Sure, go ahead.” There was nothing he would see in there that he hadn’t before.

You realised early in your friendship that there wasn’t a lot of point hiding anything from him. You were never sure when he was reading your thoughts, only when he spoke to you without moving his lips, or when he would find a memory like he was doing now. You saw a few flash through your mind, recent ones. The relief when Hank had told you that there were others like you and him. The anger when Shaw had killed Darwin in front of your eyes just a few days ago. The moment your mother found out there was something different about Hank, and kicked him out, so you followed him. Your brother’s mutation was significantly more obvious than your’s, but you left with him regardless. He had always been more than family; he was your best friend, your true and sole confidant, your lifeline. Following your train of thought, Charles managed to find a memory synonymous to that - the day you found out about his mutation. The way he cried and broke down, explained the science to you to try and ensure you understood it, but you didn’t need him to. You whispered his name softly, and told him to wave at you. The perplexed look on his face, but you insisted so he did. Then you stopped his hand dead in its tracks. The shock and relief on his face, the hug you shared, the tears you both shed. It was a joyous memory, peaceful.

You wiped a tear from the corner of your eye and Charles did the same, releasing you from the memory and now you were back in the bunker underneath his family’s house, watching as he nodded to you.

“Now try again.” He moved to the other side of the bunker again, and you concentrated hard, reaching your hand out towards him and trying to stop his slow walk towards you. You were technically telekinetic, but only when the other object was moving. The lighter the object, and the faster it was moving, the easier it was to control. And generally, you would just been able to stop it. You knew that you could move things as well once you had control over them - you had done it once, the day you had gotten your powers, but never since. And if it took that level of trauma to do it again, you hoped you never would.

“You’re moving too slowly!” You exclaimed, huffing in frustration.

“Ok, ok fine. Maybe we need to stop thinking of your powers as telekinesis.” You frowned, confused. Controlling objects was telekinesis. “Just trust me here for a moment…” Of course I trust you, you saved my life and continue to daily. “Close your eyes.” You took a deep breath, closing your eyes tightly. His voice appeared in your head, a soft whisper that immediately put you at ease.

Telekinesis is about creating movement, but you can manipulate movement. And do that, you need to be able to sense the movement around you. I can’t manipulate or read someones mind without being able to sense it, even if I can see the person. It might be the same with you. I’m standing still but I’m going to move soon - keep your eyes closed and see if you can sense me.

You focussed, reaching out into the black space and it took a few seconds, but you could feel him moving. Slowly, his image formed in your mind. You could see the way he was moving: the large, over dramatic steps he was taking, the emphatic hand wave, and you smiled. You reached out to him with even more concentration, but you surprised yourself with how easy it was to stop him in his tracks, cementing his feet to the floor so he almost fell over.

“Holy shit, Charles, you’re a genius.” You opened your eyes, releasing him and seeing the grin that had spread across his face. It was contagious, your own smile growing.

“I know I know, but we’re not done yet, you have a lot more in you…” He was pacing, thinking, and high on the adrenaline, you reached out to stop him, to play with your powers, only to find… you couldn’t. You couldn’t sense his movement. You could see him, but there was nothing else.

“I can’t…” you muttered, continuing to try as hard as you could, but nothing. He frowned, and you heard his voice softly inside your head.

Close your eyes again.

You did, and sure enough, there he was, his movement growing clearer in your mind by the second. You opened your eyes, and it was gone, the tangibility somehow lost when you could actually see him.

“Ok, ok, let’s try this…” He looked around for something, then settled his tie, pulling it from his collar in a swift motion and striding over to you, making you blush. “Can you use this as a blindfold?” He asked, and you nodded, allowing him to press the soft fabric across your closed eyes, the world going black as he tied it in a gentle knot. The difference was instant. It was as though you could physically see him still, a soft, golden glow outlining his body and his movements. Every single detail was highlighted to you.

“Try standing still?” He did, stopping dead in his tracks, but you could still see him - every miniscule shiver across his skin, the rising and falling of his chest with his breaths, the slight tremble in his fingers. “Charles…” you muttered, “I can see everything.”

“What do you mean everything?”

“Look for yourself.” You watched as he raised his hand to his temple, and you saw the subtle changes in his face as it shifted from confused to shocked, a grin spreading.

“That’s incredible. Is it easier to stop movement now as well?” You smiled, instantly halting his arm in the air as he tried to return it to his side. He laughed aloud. “You’re amazing.”

“I know.” You shrugged, letting him go, hands reaching up to remove your makeshift blindfold when you felt something move across the room. Without thinking, you reached back towards it, spinning around just in time to see the door you just felt opening slam shut.

“What the fuck?” You heard an annoyed voice from the other side of the closed door, and you laughed in disbelief. You’d done it.

“Oh my God, did you see that?” You span back to Charles, smiling uncontrollably.

“Yes I did, my dear. Yes I did.” You squealed with joy, running over to give him a hug, which he readily returned. You still had your blindfold on, and you could feel his heart beating when you were this close, even the blood rushing through his veins.

“Thank you.” You whispered in his ear, and he moved back, holding your head in his hands.

“This was all you.” The moment was broken, though, by the door opening again, although slightly cautiously this time. It was Erik - you could see it was him by his movements, and the shape of his body.

“Did you just close the door on me? And why are you blindfolded?” He paused, confusion etched across his face, followed by an almost knowing smirk. “Am I interrupting something?”

“Jesus, no…” Charles piped up quickly, heart rate skyrocketing as he moved across the room to Erik, putting distance between you and him. “We’ve found a way to…”

“I closed the door with my power!” You interrupted, excited, but he did not have the same reaction as Charles did. He actually had no reaction at all.

“So… you can, what, control your power better when you’re blindfolded?” You nodded.

He cocked his head, then he stretched out his arm, and you presumed it was to see if you were telling the truth, but before you could open your mouth to tell him he’d moved, you felt something moving quickly towards you. It was your keys, and you stopped them in midday, before pulling them safely into your hand.

“Hey, that could’ve taken my eye out!” He just laughed.

“There’s a lot more where that came from.”

You often wondered about how your life would have turned out without this place. You hadn’t exactly been here long, but it had already transformed you into someone better, more powerful, more in control. You spent the day with Charles and Erik, getting to grips with your newfound power, figuring out how to use it fully, and that you should keep things on you that you could throw and move to your advantage in the field like Erik did. You felt like you could actually be helpful to them now. And only just in time. Tomorrow was going to be a big day.

You finally got back to your room, laying down almost straight away, your feet aching from the long day. It was a beautiful house, and you would always be grateful to Charles for allowing you to stay, even if it only ended up being for a short while. You didn’t have anywhere else to go, after all.

You closed your eyes, grabbing the small, metal orbs Erik had given you from your pocket, and throwing them in the air, grabbing them with your power as they visualised. You smiled, remembering just a few hours ago when he gave them to you. The way your hands had grazed, his gaze as intense as it always was. The way he had encouraged you as you practiced, and been harsh when you made a mistake.

You had to be careful with your thoughts when you were around Charles. Guarded. There were a lot of things you thought about that you never wanted him to know.

He was one of those things. Erik was the other.

You couldn’t help it; they were both so attractive in different ways. Charles was soft and kind, a smile that could warm you from the inside out and a charm that could make you do anything he asked, no mutation needed. Erik was the opposite, harsh and damaged, cold in his mannerisms, but there was a concern to him that he tried to hide. He always failed, doing everything and more to protect the mutants around him. To fight for them. And to make sure you fought for them too.

“That wasn’t good enough.” You remember a moment from your day when he nearly shouted, frustrated that you had only stopped a flying chunk of metal he had flung at you rather than moving it as well.

“I’m not used to this, Erik.”

“So? We all had to learn to control our powers quick, you aren’t special.” You huffed, clenching your fists as Charles let out a soft, warning whisper of his name, but he carried on. “You can do more than that. I don’t care when or how you got your powers, but even if you got them yesterday, you would be doing a hell of a lot better than you are right now.” While he was talking, you were steadily getting angrier, and halfway through a sentence you noticed a new piece of metal hurtling towards you. You flicked it away without any effort, hearing it smash against the wall and falling to the ground, noticing that the white hot rage had sharpened your vision. He continued to throw more and more object at you, and you continued to retaliate, not realising you were moving towards him until he started to move backwards. He reached the wall, and threw a knife in a last ditch effort. Charles cried out in warning, but you didn’t need it, pulling the knife straight into your hand and holding it to Erik’s neck.

“You have no fucking clue what I’ve gone through to get this power.” You were close enough to feel the shuddering breath he let out, and you could see the way he clenched his jaw, his eyes scanning your face meticulously, as though you couldn’t see every minuscule movement he made through your blindfold.

“I know it was bad enough that you didn’t want to use your gifts for a long time.” You felt as though the wind had been knocked from your lungs, and you stepped back, dropping the knife to the floor with a clatter, making your way back across the room.

“Again.”

How you got your powers was a memory even Charles hadn’t seen. You had never let him. Some subconscious part of you protected it viciously; the first time he had even tried, your mutation had taken over, gripping the only thing you could sense moving and stopping it. That thing just so happened to be his heart.

He hadn’t gone near that memory since.

And neither had you.

You should be trying to get some rest. You had a big day tomorrow. You were going after Shaw. Saving the world. Letting Erik get his revenge on that bastard. It was going to be difficult. You just hoped you could be helpful in spite of everything.

It was no use though. You were unable to think about anything else, so you got up and ventured out to find Hank. You just wanted to check if he'd incorporated the blindfold into your suit, and maybe to get some reassurance from your big brother, but as you wandered through the expansive house, you noticed an unusual quietness. Glancing at a clock, you realised it was later than you'd thought—you should definitely be resting too. But as you were passing the main study, you heard voices and paused, listening for Hank.

Hank isn’t here, but you can come in.

Your heart lurched, although you couldn’t tell if it was from surprise, or an involuntary reaction to his smooth voice. Concentrate, you scolded yourself, opening the door. Both Charles and Erik were sitting in the study in big, leather arm chairs, chess board in front of them and glasses of whiskey nestled in their hands. God, you needed one right now.

“Help yourself.” He said aloud, and you laughed to yourself quietly.

“It still takes me by surprise when you do that.” You moved over to the cabinet, pouring yourself a generous amount, before turning around to see another chair being moved to where they were sitting, Erik’s hand outstretched towards its metal feet. He set it down opposite their’s, and you sat gratefully, tucking your legs up and taking a sip.

“How are you feeling about tomorrow?” Charles asked, his voice strong and earnest. You frowned.

“Why do you ever ask questions when you could just see it?”

Would you really rather I was in here all the time?

“No of course not.” He already was. You took another sip. “And I’m terrified.”

“You don’t have to come, you know.” It was Erik this time. He spoke quietly, eyes never leaving the chess board.

“I want to.” You said it with finality, hoping to convey a confidence you certainly didn’t feel, but they both seemed to accept it.

“Your progress has been incredible today; you’re going to be a big help out there.” You smiled at the words but still not fully believing them, having another drink and averting your eyes to the chessboard.

“Do you want to play?” Erik asked, and you shook your head.

“No, thank you, I think I’ll watch if that’s ok.” Maybe they didn’t want you here. “Unless that would be crashing your evening, I don’t want to be a nuisance…”

“Never.” He muttered, moving one of his pawns. You smiled, settling further into the chair.

It was at times like this that you wished you had Charles’ power. They had been playing for a while now, and you wanted to know what they were thinking, their plans for the game. You tried to guess, but your chess knowledge was rusty at best, and you kept getting distracted. You hadn’t moved in the last 30 minutes - only once before that to get another drink - and they didn’t speak much when they played, so your mind wandered. Naturally. And it didn’t help that the thing your mind had been wandering to this past week was sat in front of you.

You watched as Erik’s hand gracefully moved a piece across the board from afar, the steel-tipped bishop gliding with ease, then returning to his thigh. His legs were spread slightly, hand resting on each while he continued to look at the board, shuffling slightly in his seat, his hips moving up and forwards and hands sliding further down them and you couldn’t help but think about…

Charles said your name, and you cleared your throat.

“Hmm?” You really hoped he hadn’t been in your head then.

“Weren’t you looking for Hank earlier?”

“Oh… yes I was but it can wait until tomorrow, it wasn’t important.” He’s telling you to leave. “Unless you wanted some space, sorry I totally crashed your night…”

“I promise you aren’t, darling, I just wanted to check you hadn’t forgotten something important.” Darling. He used nicknames a lot, maybe it was a British thing, but it still made your heart flutter every time.

“Thank you.” You smiled quietly as Erik stood up, offering another drink. You accepted, his hand grazing yours as he took the glass from it, fireworks dancing across your skin.

What should I do next?

His voice called out in your head, and you smiled lightly, knowing he didn’t need your help but wanting to include you nonetheless, probably after hearing you mind racing with thoughts of being an annoyance.

Bishop to F6.

I was thinking the same thing.

Erik returned, almost making you jump as the glass was placed back in your hand. Charles moved exactly as you had said as soon as Erik had sat down, and he paused, looking at the board intently, fingers running around the rim of his glass. Jesus, was he doing this on purpose? You twisted in your chair under the guise of getting comfortable to face towards Charles, but he was no better. He was stretched out, his legs wide, hand resting on his chin, shirt sleeves pushed up to the elbows. Fucking hell. It was barely anything, they were literally just sitting down, concentrating on their game, relaxing before what was bound to be a difficult day, but your mind couldn’t stop running away with itself. And to be fair to you, you were tipsy, stressed, and currently sitting in a room with two men who you happened to find insanely attractive. Of course you were going to have some thoughts. You couldn’t help it. About what they might be like. You figure Erik would be a little rougher, domineering, but Charles would talk to you, praise you. Use his powers to know exactly what you needed, to make you feel good…

His power.

Fuck.

You needed to get out of here before you just about died of embarrassment, and you could feel yourself blushing even though he showed no sign of knowing. If there was even a chance he knew, you needed to run, to leave, to literally never show your face here again. You downed your drink, a slight sting settling in the back of your throat.

“I should probably get going,” you croaked, barely managing to talk through sheer shame, “try and get some sleep before tomorrow. Thank you for the drink.” You had moved to stand, feet hitting the floor, but Charles held out a hand to you in a gesture to stop.

“Just one second…” He muttered, looking at Erik intensely. He wasn’t saying anything, but they held eye contact and you realised that he must be talking to him. Oh dear God. There was no expression on either of their faces, so unreadable it made you feel slightly insane. Oh God he saw it. What would he even think of you? Then, without warning, Charles stood up. You thought he might be going to get a drink, but he stopped behind you, and after an excruciating moment, his hands fell to your shoulders. You sighed and fell into them as he started to squeeze lightly, working the muscles that were there in a way that felt so good it was hard not to moan, so you hummed in contentment instead.

“I know it’s been a long day… maybe we can help you relax a little.” We? At that point, Erik stood up, expression still completely unreadable, and placed his fingers gently under your chin, lifting it to meet his eyes. His beautiful fucking eyes.

“Does that sound ok?” He whispered, and you practically melted.

"Yes, God, yes," you breathed. Erik closed the gap before you could finish, his lips capturing yours hungrily as his hand found your thigh. He pulled away, leaving you breathless, but before you could recover, he tilted your head back with a gentle grip on your chin. Charles' lips met yours, tender and exploratory. As he kissed you, his fingers traced soft circles on your collarbone. You sensed Erik's intense gaze, then felt his lips brush your neck—a fleeting touch, gentle yet promising more. You gasped into Charles' mouth, overwhelmed by their dual attention.

“My room’s closest.”

You made it there without bumping into anyone, a true blessing considering your hand in Charles’ and the strong grip Erik had on your hips the whole way. You had barely closed the door before he was on you again, lips on your neck and shoulder, hips grinding up against your ass, and something else too. You noticed Charles was standing just away from the two of you, watching intently with an expression close to disbelief. You smiled at him warmly, pulling him closer just as Erik lightly nipped your shoulder in a way that made you whimper. You reached back, running your nails in his hair, before pulling him towards Charles. They both smiled softly, lips meeting as you stayed in between them, both of their bodies pressed up against you. You took the opportunity to undo a few of Charles’ shirt buttons, and planting a couple of delicate kisses to the top of his chest. You felt giddy with arousal, mind completely taken away from the stress of the whatever was to come the following day, hands taking their time to explore his chest and further down as you continued to undo his buttons, his shirt falling open as you pulled him closer still, pressing his skin to yours.

Let me know if you want us to stop. There is no pressure here, sweetheart, just whatever you want.

You nodded, watching as Charles pulled back from Erik. His eyes scanned your face for any sign of discomfort, though he could surely sense the pleasure coursing through your mind — and they'd barely touched you yet. You hummed contentedly as Erik's hands found the hem of your tank top, pulling it off while Charles' fingers trailed down your arms, grasping your hands and guiding you towards the bed. Shimmying out of your sweatpants, you sat down and kicked them off, then shuffled further up the bed. You leaned back on your elbows, hoping to entice them to join you, but they remained standing, their eyes raking over every inch of you. Suddenly self-conscious, you realised that, apart from Charles' open shirt, they were both still fully clothed, while you lay before them in just your underwear. You would have to change that..

You closed your eyes tight, focusing on them. Charles must’ve heard your thoughts, and he was removing his shirt now, moving to his belt, but Erik just stood, watching you both. He looked so calm, but you could see his rapid, heaving breaths, and the desperation that was growing in his trousers. His breathing was just enough movement for you to latch on to, reaching out and starting to pull up the hem of his top, and he smirked, a grin spreading as he lifted his arms to help you, and you discarded the black material across the room. You blinked your eyes open slowly, and after a small pause where Charles glanced at him, presumably communicating where they were going to be, and finally got a good look at him before he knelt down before the bed, grabbing your hips and pulling you towards him, making you squeal.

"God, you're beautiful," he murmured, planting kisses up your thighs as his fingertips hooked under your pants, pulling them off. You sat up slightly as Charles moved behind you, resting your back against his chest. He grasped your jaw, turning your head to kiss him. "And this is quite a view…" You blushed, giggling, as Erik settled between your legs, his hands gripping your ass and angling you for access.

"So is this," Charles whispered, his hands finding your bra clasp as Erik's kisses inched closer to your aching core.

"Fuck, Erik…" you whimpered, your hand darting to his hair as his tongue delved into your folds, his hot mouth enveloping you with a groan. Your bra discarded, hands immediately cupped and kneaded your chest, making your head roll back, eyes fluttering closed with sheer bliss. Charles's lips found your neck, nipping the sensitive skin behind your ear and eliciting a soft moan.

"He thinks you taste divine, darling," Charles whispered, and you smiled, already panting as the pressure in your core built. "He does think you could be a little louder, though…" As if on cue, Erik's hands left your ass—one arm pinning you to the bed by your hips, the other at your entrance. Before you knew it, he was pushing two fingers inside you. You groaned, still holding back slightly, acutely aware of the house full of people.

Don’t be shy, I can make sure no one can hear you.

As his voice echoed in your mind, Erik's fingers inside you curled upward, hitting that sweet spot that made you melt. Simultaneously, Charles' fingers found your nipples, pinching and rolling them in a deliciously painful way that drew a guttural noise from your throat. The sound was loud and raw, tearing through your body just like the building pleasure was. Erik's tongue continued its relentless assault on your clit, never pausing. You writhed on the bed, so close to the edge it almost hurt, your moans and whines filling the room.

“Oh God… fuck I think I’m going to…” You felt Erik groan against you, and you looked down at him, seeing him peering up at you through half lidded eyes, lust on his face evident and a realisation hit you then. One of the most powerful men in the world was on his knees in front of you, and behind you was the other, lips planted on your neck, their sole purpose being to give you pleasure. It was enough to send you over the edge.

Your back arched, pressing further into Charles as a low, reverberating groan was pulled from your throat, riding out the waves with his mouth still between your thighs, and you couldn’t stop your hips from grinding into him. He finally realised you when you were done, shaking and quivering on the bed, slowly removing his fingers from you.

“You should really have a taste, Charles.” He muttered, moving up onto the bed and crawling over you to reach him, presenting his fingers to his mouth. You watch in awe as Charles took them into his mouth gratefully, sucking them clean as Erik watched, a dark look entering his eyes.

“You were right…” he muttered, hands moving to your hair and pushing it from your face as he kissed you gently. “Divine.” You hummed into his mouth and kissed him harder, tasting yourself on his tongue, which made that all too familiar ache build up in your core once again.

“Look at that…” you heard Erik start talking, alongside the sound of his belt buckle undoing, “she’s needy already.” You released Charles lips, sitting up slightly to grab a hold of Erik’s waistband, undoing the button and fly quickly and frantically, revealing the huge tent in his boxers.

“Looks like I’m not the only one…” you whispered, moving into a seated position on your knees as your hands ran gently across his bulge, seeing his hips move towards you instinctively, begging for more even though the rest of his body language said otherwise. “I can help with that.” His eyes darkened, and you wondered where he would want to be, but Charles was one step ahead of you.

He wants your mouth, darling. You smiled, guiding him back to the headboard with a gentle push on his chest, your fingers tracing the contours of his muscles before letting him get comfortable. Meanwhile, you turned your attention to Charles, putting on a show as you kissed him again, but deeper this time, your tongue taking its time to explore his mouth. Your hands deftly worked at his trousers while his roamed the lower half of your body, all eager grasps and breathless pants against your lips. You loved seeing him come undone beneath your touch, his raw desire palpable, and yours was evident by the slick forming between your thighs.

"Turn around for me, sweetheart." Erik's gruff voice rang out behind you. You obliged, settling on your knees to see a beautiful sight. He had finally taken off his trousers and boxers, and you paused to drink him in. Relaxed against the headboard, legs spread wide, his posture screamed dominance, accentuated by the small smirk playing on his lips as he watched you. Your gaze wandered down, taking in his toned body, strong arms, and down to the happy trail leading to the thing you wanted most. He was hard—painfully so, it seemed—and he stroked himself languidly while waiting for you. And he was big, bigger than you expected, and you swallowed hard at the thought of him, of how he would feel….

Charles had also stripped down completely, and he moved right behind you on the bed, hips pressed to your ass, and his erection pressed against your back.

“Come here…” Erik said, leaning forward and pulling you close by the back of your neck and smashing his lips into yours. You could feel Charles behind you, pulling your hips back and setting you up for him, his hands kneading your ass in a way that made you moan into Erik’s mouth.

Are you safe?

On the pill, I’m all yours. Erik released you from his lips and sat back, giving Charles a small nod and using the hand on your neck to keep your head up and facing him.

“Eyes on me, babygirl.” You nodded, eyes widening and a moan escaping your lips as you felt Charles press up against your entrance, fully sheathing himself in one swift motion.

“Fuck, darling, you feel so good.” He groaned, breathing ragged.

"God, so do you," you whispered, breathless as you adjusted to his size. Your eyes remained locked on Erik's, whose expression darkened as he stroked himself faster. Charles pulled out slowly, taking his time, before thrusting back into you forcefully, his hips colliding with yours. You moaned and whimpered as he set a rhythm, his hands roaming through your hair and up and down your back, murmuring praises and curses. You had finally caught your breath, and you knew it was time someone else got a little attention, so you lowered your head. Your tongue swirled around Erik's cock as his hand gripped your hair tightly. You took him into your mouth, managing just over half before pulling back, one hand moving to his base, the other steadying you on the bed. Matching Charles' pace, you bobbed up and down, drawing a growl of satisfaction from Erik that made your cunt clench, eliciting similar sounds from the man behind you. He pulled you into him by your hips, each thrust pure bliss, and you knew another climax was imminent if he just...

The telepath clearly sensed your thoughts, his hand reaching around to find your clit with precision. He rubbed tight circles in perfect rhythm, building the pressure once more. You could only moan weakly around the cock deep in your throat.

"She's close, Erik. I want to hear her," Charles said breathlessly. You could tell he was nearing his peak too as Erik lifted you off him by your hair, gripping tightly.

"Are you going to come for him, sweetheart?" Erik asked, his low tone making you whimper.

"Fuck... so close... I—" Your words dissolved into a moan as your orgasm overwhelmed you. Your eyes fluttered closed, and your head rolled into Erik's hands. Your body melted into blissful jelly, your core pulsing around Charles, and he followed shortly after, his hips faltering as he pressed deep into you. With a groan in your ear, he filled you, then bit your shoulder as you both rode out the waves of pleasure together.

You were a shuddering mess by the time he was done, barely holding yourself up as he pulled out of you with a deep sigh. He pressed soft kisses down your spine as Erik lifted your head up, lust etched on his face.

“You still up for me, sweetheart?” His fingers ran across your lips and cheek, and you nodded, still breathless.

I’m going to clean up, can I leave you two to it?You heard Charles in your head, and you sent over a yes, turning your head to kiss him goodbye.

“Shall I clean you up before I go, darling?” He asked, clearly having asked Erik the same thing, before standing and moving over to him, kissing him deeply.

“I think we’ll be ok.” Erik muttered, a mischievous look on his face. You smiled, forcing your weary legs to move towards him. He held you up by your hips as you heard the bathroom door close, a quick have fun thrown into your head. You kissed him softly, tenderly as you sank onto him, a sweet, low growl filling your mouth as your hips met his—a surprisingly easy feat despite his size thanks to what had been left behind by Charles. Your legs trembled, worn out, but you pressed your body close to Erik's, draping your head over his shoulder as he guided your movements with his hands. It was intimate - hands tangled in hair, soft, short breaths mingling with deep, grinding strokes that quickly brought you to the edge yet again. Panting and whining in his ear, you tried to tell him how close you were, but the sensation overtook you before you could form the words. Your nails dug into his back as pleasure washed over you. He whispered your name in a dark, husky tone, and then he was coming too, deep inside you. Somehow, he ground even deeper as you managed to lift your head just enough to kiss him.

You both stayed like that for a moment, catching your breath, bodies intertwined. Erik's hands traced lazy patterns on your back, sending shivers down your spine. As your heartbeat slowly returned to normal, you lifted your head to meet his gaze, finding a mix of satisfaction and tenderness in his eyes. With a soft smile, he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his touch lingering on your cheek. You wanted to stay like this forever, feeling his heartbeat against your chest, but the moment was broken by the shower turning off. You blushed, climbing off him slowly, slumping next to him on the bed, feeling empty without him inside of you. You knew you would have to go and clean up soon, but you felt so comfortable with his arm draped around you, you didn’t want to move. He pulled the blanket from the bottom of the bed up, draping it over you as you waited for Charles, your eyes fluttering closed peacefully.

“Well, this is nice sight.” You smiled, opening your eyes to see him in the doorway to the bathroom, wet hair hanging over his face and towel wrapped around his waist.

“This is a pretty nice view from here too.” You replied. “Can I…?”

“Go ahead.” Erik muttered, planting one last kiss on your lips as you headed to the bathroom. You had just closed the door when you heard the bed creak, and they started talking.

“We got lucky with her, didn’t we?” Charles muttered, and you heard Erik sigh.

“Yes, I think we did.”

[starryknight-tarot]

𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓶𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓼𝓸 𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓿𝓮?

pile 1 -- > pile 2 -- > pile 3

pile 4 -- > pile 5 -- > pile 6

my masterlist<3 . paid readings

Hello beautiful souls ✨ welcome back to another tarot reading! Today we will going into what makes you so attractive. Feel free to pick more than one pile if you are called. Remember to meditate, take a deep breath and pick whatever pile calls to you the most. Make sure to take what resonates and leave what doesn't. The artist for picture is @tnk_gr on instagram in case anyone was wondering

Pile 1

Cards: Queen of Pentacles, The Wheel of Fortune, Five of Pentacles rx, Knight of Cups rx, Four of Wands, The Hermit rx, Ten of Wands rx, The Tower rx

Back of the deck: Two of Pentacles

While I was shuffling the cards for you Pile 1, I kept on hearing the same two phrases. "Looks like they have their shit together" and "Breathtaking when they walk into a room" which I can see both from the cards. What makes you so attractive Pile 1 is your gentle and caring nature. You are a natural at conversation and can whoo anyone in your presence. You radiate natural glow that makes people jealous. People are naturally attracted to you with your positive energy. You give off the energy of the shy main protagonist of a k-drama that everyone wants to be friends with. You could be an ENFJ or INFJ. People find it very attractive how generous you are and how you seem genuinely happy to assist people who need help. Especially the people close to you get to watch as you selflessly do everything in your power to help. I want to say to be careful of people who would take advantage of this beautiful trait but I am getting that some of you may already know this and you might already be very careful with who you share your energy with. People notice that you look very well dressed. You could wear expensive brands or at least people think you dress very fancy. Some of you might be influencers or have a large social media presence. People just like to watch you be yourself. You are very charming in a unique way Pile 1. You are very cute Pile 1, especially when you just woke up. You could be very clingy in the mornings. I am hearing some of you may have very soft delicate hands, you could like getting your nails done and they always look really pretty. I heard people like watching you succeeded so people are rooting for you Pile 1.

Advice Cards:

The issue at hand is about reflection. What is the mirror showing you?

Make your presence felt

It is important to ask for help

Seek to understand from a place of connection rather than separation

Align body, mind, and spirit. Know that you are whole

Take a lighter approach and smile about all facets in your life. A smile reflects a heart at peace

Channeled Song:

Pile 2

Cards: Four of Wands, Queen of Cups, Ten of Cups, Three of Cups, The Sun, Eight of Pentacles rx, The Lovers, Two of Wands

Back of the deck: The World

Woah Pile 2, this energy feels very strong and overwhelmingly positive. For some of you, I am getting that you could be famous(ooh la la). I am hearing you could be a model, dancer, or singer. A little similar to pile 1, so you could have also felt called to that pile. You are very fun to be around Pile 2. You seem very extroverted and out-going. I am hearing that you are a lot of people's sunshine. People find you to be hilarious and love spending time with you. People find your overall personality very attracting and are just drawn to you. I am getting that people often see themselves being with you, you have a lot of secret admirers. I heard people see you as a rare breath of fresh air. People love hanging out with you and feeling connected through being around you. It's really attractive when you are just genuinely enjoying yourself. You could like going to clubs or parties. You have a very funny or distinctive laugh that is very addicting. Your voice could also be very smoothing and attractive. I heard smooth like honey lol. But I also feel like some of you may be very loud individuals and people really like that about you. I also heard you have very clear skin and just a very fresh appearance. It is very attractive how trustworthy you are Pile 2. You are seem as a friend that people know they can rely on and loyal to your friends even if you just became friends with them. You also have very nice hair, it looks healthy and smooth even if you have dyed it. I am hearing some of you have very nice legs. You could look really attractive in moments when most people look bad like when you fall over or when you are eating. You have a lot of people watching you Pile 2 and all the comments are positive.

Advice Cards:

Reflect on one of your blessings

Release all attachments that do not serve you

Practice the pause

Pay attention to your breathing, It is reflecting your life

Look closely at what is going on around you

Your spirits wings are unfolding, It is time to take flight!

Channeled Song:

Pile 3

Cards: Justice rx, Ace of Pentacles rx, Page of Swords, Temperance, Three of Pentacles, Nine of Swords, Ten of Swords, King of Cups rx

Back of the deck: Three of Cups

You are a very powerful soul Pile 3. Your fearless and unstoppable aura makes you extremely attractive. You have unwavering confidence that is immediately noted the moment people make eye contact with you. I feel like you make people nervous just looking at them. You give me very strong femme fatale vibes and it is so hot. You put fear into people's souls in the best way that makes them blush uncontrollably in seconds. You could have gone through a lot of bullshit in the past that has made you determined to never let anyone get to you. I keep hearing a quote from the show Bridgerton that I feel like really relates to this pile. "I was afraid even of my own reflection, I entered a room and attempted to dissolve into the shadows. Instead, I made myself frighting. I sharpen my wit, my wardrobe, and my eye, and I made myself the most terrifying creature in any room I entered."(Lady Dunbury is a complete badass girl boss and I aspire to be like her everyday). You have taken the hard experiences of your past and instead of letting it make you weaker, you used it to your advantage and learned how to grow stronger. This is so attractive. You give off a badass energy that people aspire to be. You could like to wear makeup and it always looks amazing. Especially a dark red lip and bold eyeliner. I am also hearing you look good in tight clothes or clothes that outline your figure. There is a mystery that makes you so attracting to everyone around you. I am not getting that you are the type to keep many people around you but the close friends you do have you would KILL for and you are extremely loyal to which I think people take notice of. Everyone wants to get to know you on a personal level but that's a privilege you only grant to very special people. You also give off the vibe of someone that could defend your self. I heard they don't wanna be on the other side of your fist lmao. But people find that SO hot Pile 3. You get the kind of comments people write about their favorite celebrity on twitter like hit me with your car or you could slap me in the face and I would say thank you lol. But I am also hearing that you maybe have a kind of tomboyish(or just boyish) charm that only people close to you get to see and they find it adorable. You are overall a complete badass that is people can't help but make people a blushing mess in your presence.

Advice Cards:

You are birthing a new self

You are moving beyond your old form. Congratulation!

Hold your life from a sacred viewpoint. Witness the universal picture

Deep, deep down, something needs attention

A rite of passage allows you to move forward into new realms

In harmony with your inner self, you are free to do or be whatever you choose

Allow for old memories to come up and be released

Channeled Song:

Pile 4

Cards: Eight of Cups, The High Priestess rx, The Tower rx, King of Cups rx, Knight of Pentacles, Page of Swords, King of Coins, Page of Pentacles, Knight of Cups (Don't tell the other piles you got an extra card lol)

Back of the deck: Seven of Pentacles

You have a very childish charm Pile 4. People can't help but laugh when they are around you. You may be very clumsy or say silly things that can't help but put a smile on people's faces. People find you so cute and loveable. It's very attractive how you seem to never give up, even if the odds are against you. I keep seeing you playing chess with someone and you are so clearly losing but you have absolute certainty that you will win despite everything. But then you do win and everyone is surprised but it teaches them that you are not a force to be reckoned with and it really adds to your charm. The people are eating it up Pile 4. You could also be very good with kids and enjoy the less serious parts of life which people find really refreshing. I feel like some people may judge you for being childish but you don't even let it get to you everyone loves that about you. You give off cute bimbo/himbo energy that I think really makes an impression on people. Even after you have left the room, you remain on people's minds. You also have a very strong ambition that makes you shine and stand out from the crowd. I am hearing you may have very large eyes, eyes that sparkle brighter than the brightest star in the sky. People get lost in your eyes Pile 4. I heard that you look really pretty crying. You have a very innocent and youthful glow to you that makes you all the more cute. You also have a lot of hidden talents that you share in random moments. You have hidden lore that always come in handy and wows the people around you. Overall you have a very charming and lovingly goofy personality that makes you very attractive.

Advice Cards:

You are intended to succeed. Align your actions with your highest dreams

Stand your ground

It is time to take appropriate action

Your acts of love, kindness, and unlimited forgiveness bestow grace upon you

Considerable and consistent effort may now be required

You are ready to receive your fortune. Be miracle minded!

Channeled Song:

Pile 5

Cards: Death, Seven of Swords, Nine of Cups, Queen of Cups, Two of Cups, Two of Wands, Three of Pentacles rx, Knight of Swords rx

Back of the deck: The Devil

I am getting very strong siren vibes from this pile. I feel like you could get anyone to do anything you asked Pile 5. It's almost as if there is an invisible force making everyone fall in love with you. Your smile is very warming and welcoming and I'm hearing that you give the best hugs. You look like you came straight out of a fairy tale, your looks are almost incomparable. I am getting that you might have had a big glow up and now everyone is literally in love with you. Everyone thinks you are their soulmate Pile 5. I am getting that you have very strong duality, almost every style suits you. And to add the cherry on top, you are so humble about it. You might not have even realised that people feel this way about you but OH MY GOODNESS are people swoon over you. I just heard you make the straightest people gay lol. You have people tied around your finger Pile 5. With the Devil at the back of the deck, people are obsessed with you pile 5. They think about you 24/7, tossing and turning with you on your mind at night. I am getting that you have a cheerful and elegant aura that just draws people in. You may be soft spoken but speak in a way that just gets people listening. I am hearing some people find everything you do attractive. Beware of creepers Pile 5. I am getting the same vibes as character from a show called Komi Can't Communicate. In the show, she is too afraid to speak to people but she wants to be friends with everyone, however this is super easy for her since everyone is absolutely obsessed with her and would do anything for her. You are a very warm personality that people can't seem to get enough of.

Advice Cards:

Release all that keeps you in the past. Forgive and liberate yourself!

Give up resistance in your current situation

Your child self needs your attention

This challenge is intended to promote your growth

The issue at hand is about reflection. What is the mirror showing you?

Release all attachments that do not serve you

You are wiser than you think

Channeled Songs:

Pile 6

Cards: Three of Cups, King of Swords, King of Pentacles, Two of Swords rx, Four of Pentacles, Ten of Swords, Ace of Cups, Death rx

Back of the deck: Ace of Pentacles

Pile 6, you give off a very cool vibe. I feel like you may be into sports or use a skateboard. I heard beautifully tanned skin but that might not be for everyone. What makes you so attractive is your devotion to the people around. You are like everyone's girlfriend/boyfriend/partner in the way that people feel like they can rely on you, trust you with their deepest darkest secrets and protect them at all costs. You are the type to stand up when nobody else would and that is really admirable. You are the type to say the most romantic, poetic shit anyone has ever heard and then shrug it off like it was nothing. So hot Pile 6. I also feel like you are always being your most authentic, real self. You are very in tune with your emotions and are willing to accept when you make a mistake. You may have a very toned muscular body that you aren't afraid to show off. I am getting that you are the type to check in with the people around you and make sure they are ok and healthy which makes people so grateful to have you in their life. You manage to make every conversation interesting and something everyone will talk and joke about years later. You are someone that shows a lot of passion in your life and puts effort into making yourself the best at what you do. I am also hearing that you have a quick wit that people adore. You're wise and very book smart which impresses everyone around you with your endless knowledge. You can also fit into many friend groups, you have a wide variety of interests and it helps you get along with lots of people. Your ability to make friends with anyone and take care of the people around is very attractive. You are brave and bold and it has everyone fawning over you.

Advice Cards:

A rite of passage allows you to move forward into new realms

Love is the answer to your current situation

No better time to exist than right now

Look closely at what is going on around you

You are intended to succeed. Align your actions with your highest dreams

It is time to challenge old beliefs

Boldly imagine what you can do and be

Channeled Song:

Thanks for tuning in₊‧.°.⋆🫧•˚₊‧⋆.

ps I recommend everyone listens to Natty's Sugarcoat since I was listening to it the entire time I was working on this reading and I felt like it suited a lot of piles :)

[emepe]

— Pairing: Eren x Reader, fwb with feelings

— General info: 18+, modern AU, one-shot, smut, fluff

— Summary: Everyone is suspicious that Eren Jaeger has a secret girlfriend or at least a new body. What they don’t know is that his secret affair is with you.

— Content warnings: nsfw, vaginal sex, handjob, light bondage, femdom if you squint (Eren likes being tied up), role switch, mentions of drunken make out, vaginal fingering, mutual pining.

— Notes: I haven't written smut for Eren in a while, but here you go. Happy reading, bubs!

Links: Read on AO3 |  Masterlist

Or at least a secret person who's kept him from overwhelming you with his flirty attitude and incessant date proposals. The change in his demeanor was obvious from the start. Your friends noticed it right away.

Eren Jaeger has a secret girlfriend.

Overnight, he simply stopped trying to persuade you into going out with him.

If anything, this shift in dynamics brings peace to your group. Nobody has to put up with Eren's cringey pick-up lines and you seem more relaxed than ever now that Eren's off your back.

You've always made it clear to him that you just want to be friends, yet that's never stopped him from shamelessly insisting how great you'd be together if you just gave him a chance. But now that he's no longer waking his friends’ second-hand embarrassment by forcing them to watch him get rejected over and over again — they have to give you credit, you've remained incredibly patient — the only explanation is that he's spontaneously over his crush, or he's found someone else to fixate on.

Whichever the case is, he's awfully secretive about it. Nobody has met her and he hasn’t even mentioned a name. All they know is he has a goofy grin when the group splits at the end of your get-togethers and he rushes to his confidential rendezvous. But perhaps that's for the better. If he's not talking about it, then it means whichever poor girl he's lured in isn't a ploy to make you jealous.

As your weekly poker night comes to an end after everyone has come down from their weed-induced high — it's your turn to host — and everyone takes on a different task to tidy your living room, Eren is especially quick to wash glasses and finish off everyone's self-assigned duties so goodbyes can be bid sooner.

Everyone heads out the door and into their cars to drive back home.

Eren lingers in front of your house, as his hands fumble around his glove compartment long enough for his friends to disappear from view. With one last glance over his shoulder, he hurries back up the steps to your front door and eagerly knocks a coded beat.

When the door cracks open, you're looking up at him with a neutral expression.

“I think I forgot my lighter,” he grins.

With a roll of your eyes, you pull him inside by his shirt and shut the door.

A short while later, Eren's wrists are tied to the bed with a silk scarf and he does his best to resist the urge to thrust into your hand, as you jerk him off at the laziest pace you can manage. His torso is littered with the searing sensation left by your lips when you kissed down to his V line minutes earlier.

Eren's bare chest rises and falls heavily as he watches himself grow big enough that your thumb can no longer reach your fingertips.

A soft mewl leaves his lips when your thumb brushes over the head of his cock, the gentle friction sending a tickle up his spine and causing his nipples to harden.

“When can I tell our friends we're together?” he asks, admiring the black lace set that adorns your body. The thin straps of your thong disappear into the crease of your thighs as you rest on your calves before him. He hasn't pointed it out, afraid it might embarrass you if he did, but he's noticed you've gotten into wearing sexier pieces of lingerie as the weeks have gone by.

He didn't mind the plain cotton underwear from the first time you pulled him aside to tell him you'd give him one night and no more — pink bikini cut panties with a little bow at the front— but he's not complaining about your recent style evolution, either.

You raise a quizzical eyebrow.

Eren barely acknowledges your expression, but clarifies anyway in between shallow breaths.

“O-or… you know just t-tell them that we're sleeping together.”

Your lips tug into a smile.

“You want them to know you like being tied up and jerked off by me?”

An airy chuckle leaves Eren's lips as his head falls back against the pillow.

“Yeah… I kinda do,” he shyly admits, blinking up at you through half-lidded eyes.

After the first night you spent with Eren, when you drunkenly made out in his car and you let him finger you to an orgasm after poker at Armin's, you assumed he'd get bored and just move on. His tireless flirting always seemed like more of a joke with how juvenile he was about the matter.

Eren was known to be loyal to none else than the bachelor life, always having fun but never settling down. He went from to girl to guy, to girl again. He wasn't careless about it, but he wasn't one to get attached to his fleeting partners more than he should, either. You weren't a prude, but you learned long ago that sleeping with friends can be messy, which is why you spent months rejecting him countless times. Besides, you'd feel a bit hurt if he just saw you as one more person to conquer.

But one too many shots of tequila two months ago pushed you into a spiral of lust and hazy thinking. Suddenly, giving into Eren's advances didn't seem too bad. And considering you kissed him first, you could at least say you had some power over how you felt about it all. You wouldn't get attached, and you wouldn't expect more than you knew he could offer. It'd just be a friend helping a friend get off.

Only it didn't stop there. Eren stopped by your house the following morning to confess his feelings. It wasn't the first time Eren admitted to liking you, but it was the first time he was so earnest when pronouncing the words.

You remained skeptical. Even now, when he tries to get your opinion on revealing your relationship to your friends, you hesitate. Suddenly, you're oblivious to the pounding in your chest each time he flashes his boyish grin at you, or when he shudders under your touch and you have to hold back from viewing him through a romantic lense. Suddenly, you ignore the fact that he hasn't even talked to anyone else since that night in his car or that he's adamant about repeating how much he likes you each time he gently wipes you clean of his cum. Suddenly, you can't recall the lengthy periods you've spent browsing lingerie, thinking a little too hard about what Eren might like. Suddenly, you're clueless to the absurdly obvious that somewhere along the way, you've developed feelings for Eren and his have only gotten stronger.

“So?” he breathes, a lazy crooked smile plastered on his face.

Your hand pauses as you lean forward to kiss his cheek.

“You're cute,” you smile.

Eren blushes profusely as you pick up your movements, your hand more firm this time as it strokes his cock.

With your free hand, you unclasp your bra with agile movements, letting the delicate cups of black lace fall from your breasts and the straps to glide off your shoulders.

Eren bites back a whimper as his gaze wanders over your pert nipples.

“What was that?” you tease, giggling once Eren throws his head back like you knew he would. You soften your hold on his cock, which elicits another whimper from the helpless figure before you.

“You're getting meaner these days,” Eren mumbles as he returns his gaze to you. “Come on,” he begs, bucking his hips upwards to accentuate his pleading. “Touch me, please.”

A sigh of relief falls from his lips when your hand wraps around his length once more, your thumb brushing over his tip with a ghostly touch that has shivers running down his spine.

He connects with your gaze, refusing to peel his focus from you even when a particular stroke makes him hiss and his eyebrows upturn in pleasure. It's a matter of willpower, to not come undone before he even gets the chance to bury himself inside you.

His eyes shimmer at the image of you bending forward to trace your hardened nipples with his tip. Your nipple brushes with exquisite friction over the slit of his urethra. It sends a pleasant tingle through your chest and has him releasing shuddered breaths, breaking the dam of his mental prowess as warm cum bubbles and leaks from the tip, trailing down his length and pooling in the crevices between him and your hand.

There's no use in toughing it out anymore. You stroke him more fervently, kindly prolonging his high as he thrusts into your hand, his hips clumsy and his whimpers broken as he struggles with his restraints.

Your hand grows sticky as it slathers his release over his length, his cock still hard even after the last of the creamy white ropes finish spurting from his tip.

When you look up at him, he's got a lazy grin on his face and his eyes shimmer as they watch you adoringly. He'll never not be fascinated by how hard it is to hold back when it comes to you. But he tries his best, and it's earned you plenty of hours worth of fun.

You smile back as you press his hips against the mattress before straddling him. His breath hitches when he realizes you're preparing to lower yourself onto his cock.

Your fingers hook under your thong, tugging the fabric to the side as your free hand strokes him before he gets a chance to soften — as if that were possible; the man gets hard just by looking at you. Carefully, you line him up with your entrance and lower yourself in measured movements. Your brow furrows in concentration, your eyes closing as you replay a visual in your head of his length making its way inside you.

A pleasant burn comes from sinking onto him without much preparation beforehand, but the slick gathered between your folds from watching him writhe under your touch eases any discomfort.

“Easy, baby,” Eren murmurs, admiring the way his cock gradually stretches you open and disappears into you until you're flush against his pelvis.

A heavy sigh escapes your lips, your features softening once he's fully inside. It's been a while since you and Eren started exclusively sleeping with each other, and it only gets better each time he carves your insides to be his perfect fit. You've never felt so full, both physically and emotionally.

“Do all the people who've been on this bed get to spend the night?” you teasingly asked the first time he invited you to stay over at his place.

Eren smiled as he continued twirling a lock of your hair between his fingers, his chest still reflecting his heavy breaths as his efforts to make you cum twice that night caught up to his body.

“You're the first.”

You never expected Eren to be so tender. Even when you decided to explore new things together, there was always a moment where he'd just look at you and smile, infecting you with his amusement that ultimately ended with a shared laugh as you collapsed onto bed beside him, or further teasing which led to the most mind-blowing orgasms.

You stir your hips slowly, getting used to the feeling of him inside you. Eren can only admire from below as your hands fix themselves on his stomach and you start to grind against him.

A lazy crooked grin stretches across his face as he watches your brow furrow in concentration when you're finally comfortable enough to raise your hips and sink back onto him, grinding your clit onto his pelvic bone as you do. Your movements are sharp and measured as your arousal continues to build up and a series of pretty moans climb up your throat.

Your tits bounce to the beat of your skin slapping against his, offering Eren the most perfect view as he grows frustrated with the pink silk scarf that's keeping him from playing with the soft mounds.

“Eren,” you whine, short of breath and too clouded by lust to remember how to pronounce anything other than his name.

“Keep going… You're doing so fucking good, baby,” he breathes, and accentuates his words with upwards thrusts he makes to meet you halfway. “So. Fucking. Good.”

Your head rolls back, your eyes fluttering closed as you bite back the moan that's threatening to escape your lips.

Your hands fall onto his calves and you lean back, pulling his focus from your tits to the wet folds that swallow his cock, coating him with the glossy sheen of your arousal.

Eren continues thrusting up into you a few times, matching your rhythm and doing his best to ignore the pesky scarf that keeps him from reversing your roles and dominating you instead. You haven't reprimanded him for moving so he figures you could use a bit of help — you must be getting tired.

It's oddly fun to be tied to the bed as he grows more and more excited each time you lift your hips and your sloppy cunt is right in his line of view. It's incredibly satisfying for him to witness you fluttering around him, taking him so well as you only grow more needy, too. So he does his best to remain a good tool to help you get off.

Your forehead is lined with sweat, your features are contorted in a mix of concentration and pleasure, your thighs are growing heavier and yet you've never looked prettier in Eren's eyes.

No matter how glad he is just to watch you use him, it's a huge relief when you throw yourself forward with barely enough clarity to undo the knot on his wrists with one sharp tug of the silk fabric, and he can finally dig his fingers into your hips, picking up your slowing pace for a more fervent one.

The sound of slapping skin plays over and over again as you fall forward and bury your face into the crook of his neck, whimpering and exhaling nonsensical noises into his feverish skin as a reward for his patience.

His hands grope your ass, spreading your cheeks as he helps you meet his eager thrusts. Your nails dig into his shoulder and grip the sheets, the satisfying sensations between your legs too big for your body to carry as your breasts jostle against his chest in tandem with his relentless thrusts.

Eren's hand effortlessly wraps and tugs at your hair, forcing you to face him as you reach your high.

Sweet moans and whimpers fall from your parted lips, your half-lidded eyes looking down at him through a glossy haze.

“You're so pretty, baby. Come here and give me a kiss,” he coos, before pulling you by the back of your neck into a searing kiss that overwhelms your body further.

His tongue expertly glides inside your mouth, caressing yours and devouring each of your moans. The kiss is desperate and sloppy, with teeth crashing into each other in his futile attempts to bring you impossibly closer — as if thrusting himself into the deepest parts of you and shoving his tongue to the back of your throat isn't enough.

But it's no surprise. He's always been like this. At least, that's what you learned from day one of this secret arrangement. What you don't know is his desperation was awakened by just you.

Eren's no stranger to being a wildfire in bed, but it's different with you. His usual passion has been puppeteered by his heartstrings since the very first time two months ago. He's been a shameless flirt, it's true. But once you kissed him that night in his car, it was game over. He can still remember the frantic beat of his heart that stemmed from that very first taste of your lips. It still finds its way to him now, even when he eases his rough kiss for exhausted breaths that he releases over your open mouth.

Never before has he held so much eye contact with the person on top or below him, yet he finds a way to always have your face in his line of view to appreciate every little shift in your features. He loves the way your eyebrows knit together when you feel your orgasm coming in, and the way they soften with the washed over bliss of your high. He loves getting to clean you after and getting to hold you while you share pointless conversations as your exhaustion catches up to you — that's probably even better than the actual sex.

So as you cum around his cock and he fills you with hot ropes of white, he exhales a sweet ‘I love you’ against your lips.

Your body shivers and your legs weakly tremble as you climb off of him.

He pads to the bathroom, where he soaks a clean washcloth with warm water and comes back to find you fixing your hair on the bed.

His heart flutters as he goes through the usual motions of sitting beside you, tapping your thigh for you to spread your legs just enough for him to tenderly wipe his cum from the still sensitive spot at the center.

“What was that about?” you ask as you lean back into your hands, admiring his large hands gingerly pressing the washcloth where your thighs meet.

He glances at you briefly before smiling as he continues cleaning you.

“What do you mean?” he asks, still with that sly grin etched on his face.

Your face warms.

“Earlier, when you came,” you explain, circling around the exact words. “What you said… was that from the heat of the moment or something? Some new kink I should know about?”

An airy chuckle leaves his lips as he softly shakes his head.

“I wouldn't say that,” he murmurs. “Let's just leave it there. You can decide what to do with it later.”

You hum in response, trying your best to look composed as butterflies stir in your stomach.

You've spent the past two months being skeptical, but ignoring your blooming feelings is hard when Eren keeps surprising you with things like this. He's sweet and attentive, and cuddling in bed with random conversations is easily earning the first slot in your favorite things to do. You like brushing his hair from his face and burying your face in the crook of his neck. You like hearing him say sweet things and you like the duality of his actions in bed.

You can decide what to do with it later.

It'll be a while before you admit to the cause of the incessant pounding in your chest, but for now the feelings linger in the air as Eren pulls you under the covers with him and he presses a kiss into your hair.

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[fallingdownhell]

Genshin men dealing with separation anxiety.

You didn't really specify any characters except for the men, so I just picked out some who I think fit this description. Hope you're okay with that.

Characters Included: Xiao; Wanderer; Tighnari; Diluc

Content: gender neutral reader; separation anxiety; mentions of insecurities; reverse comfort

Word count: 1,8k words

Thanks again for your request!

Xiao

Xiao is relatively new to the whole concept of dating and relationships in general

He tries to get used to it, but it's difficult for him. For so many years, he saw himself as nothing but a weapon. So this new situation is just something he never thought would happen to him

once he fully trusts you with everything about him would be when this particular "problem" starts to show itself

would have one of the worst cases, in my opinion

he is so used to loss, yet he can't imagine having to deal with your loss. He's sure that should this day ever arrive, it would ultimately destroy him, too

he can deal with a few hours alone, he doesn't need you by his side 24/7

but, once a certain time frame has been reached and he hasn't heard or seen anything from you, he starts to grow restless and anxious

Xiao tries to play it cool, but deep down, he worries about you

are you okay? are you hurt? could you possibly need his assistence? But you haven't called for him.. so everything should be fine, right? But what if you just didn't get the chance to call for him and you were already....

he tries to keep his thoughts under control, but he can't seem to redirect the course his mind has taken

he tries to reason with himself, not wanting to immediately assume the worst possible things

but soon, he can't take it anymore, so he starts looking for you. He searches the places you frequent the most, while maintaining a safe distance so you don't immediately spot him

he soon finds you in the streets of Liyue Harbor, talking to one of the vendors, laughing happily

as he sees you like this, his heart suddenly grows lighter, the impending feeling of dread slowly going away as it's replaced by this warm, loving feeling he always gets when looking at you or spending time with you

he waits until your done with your chat, watches you as you walk away from the booth. Once you're in an area with less people around, he appears in front of you

you're slightly startled, but you start to get used to his random entrances and dissapearances

you smile at him, and the last bits of Xiao's worries are instantly blown away as he allows himself to take in your calming presence

somehow, he always feels at peace with you. No matter what life might throw at him in the future, he's sure he will be able to conquer it, as long as you're there with him..

Wanderer

definitely the worst case out of all the others

but can you really blame him? He endured so much already, has experienced so much pain and heartbreak... can you blame him for not wanting to loose you as well, after he let you in?

it takes time and effort to convince him that your feelings for him are genuine and that you would never, ever leave him behind

it's not like he doesn't want to believe you. He really does, but he just can't imagine anyone being actually interested in him and wanting to maintain a relationship with someone like him...

like I said, time and effort is the key into his heart. And even once you managed to take your place there, he won't openly show it. He's awkward about those kinds of things, it's a whole 'nother issue

once you've successfully broken down the walls around his heart and marched your way in, he really can't handle being away from you for more than a few hours

as soon as you talk about leaving (be it to go to work, or groceries) he begins to feel anxious

because... what if you don't return after all? What if you finally realized how insufferable he is and you decided to not deal with it anymore? He knows you proclaim your love to him daily, but he can't help it

the doubts just start to act up like it's second nature to him, and no matter how hard he tries to suppress it, he can't seem to win against his own mind

his imagination runs wild, painting a hundred different scenarios on how you might leave him and run away

he wants to get up and out there, looking for you, but that would make him seem desperate and he most definitely does not want to be percieved in that way

so he sits it out at your shared home, trying to deal with all those intrusive thoughts in his head, intently watching the clock hanging on the wall, counting the minutes until your return

as soon as he hears the door opening, he is up and "greeting" you at the door

"Took you long enough. Where have you been all this time?"

he tries to sound indifferent, but to you, you can clearly tell that his voice lacks the ususal bite and he seems to be frantic

instead of an answer, you pull him into an embrace, lightly stroking his scalp

the Wanderer is taken by surprise at your actions, but that quickly fades and he melts into the touch, knowing that this was your silent reassurance to him

he acknowledges it, but doesn't comment on it

maybe one day, he'll be able to openly talk to you about everything that bothers him and be completely vulnerable to you. But that day is not now...

he just hopes that you can wait for him until this day finally arrives..

Tighnari

as cool and composed as the fox hybrid likes to think that he is, he has his weak moments as well

although... this problem probably won't arise until after the two of you are mated

he's not becoming overprotective of you and he's also not controlling or anything. He just.... he can't really deal with being alone anymore

in the past, before knowing you and even while dating you, it never really bothered him. He was used to not seeing you for a few days, sometimes even weeks, thanks to your position in the academiya

but now... he can't seem to deal with it anymore. Whenever you tell him that you have to leave for a few days, he dreads for those days to arrive

He's perfectly fine for the first two or three days, but anything that comes after that... total nightmare for him and his crew

He is restless, anxious, constantly thinking about you and your well being

Tighnari knows that you're more than capable of protecting yourself, but still! He's not there to protect you, how can he be sure that you're fine?

Sure, you write letters to him almost daily to keep him up to date and reassure him that you're fine... but what if those letters are written by someone else, who just happens to be extremely good at forging handwritings?

During that time period, Tighnari is also not able to sleep very well, if at all

he tosses and turns througout the entire night, hugging your pillow close to him, imaginig that it was you laying next to him, hugging him and stroking his back like you always do

he thought that this might help him to calm down, but all it does is increase his intense longing for you

he whines, calling out your name in the dead of the night, hoping that by some miracle, you would hear his cry and return to him

when you do come back to him, he doesn't care for any work he has to take care of that day

he will leave it for the other rangers to take care of, he has more important things to attend to now

namely, cuddling you in his bed, wrapping his tail around your thighs and burrying his nose in your neck, breathing in your scent that he missed so much while you were gone

he feels your fingers stroking along his back and he can't help the shiver that runs down his spine when you do so

he won't let you out of bed for the next few hours, after all... he has to make up for the days that you and him were separated..

Diluc

oh boy.. another one with a pretty bad case

Diluc has lost so many important things in his life, he couldn't bear losing you as well

He is a busy man, he knows he can't be by your side 24/7, even if he really wants nothing more

time spent with you is always the most treasured to him. With you, he always feels safe and loved. He had no idea how much he has missed feeling like this until you walked into his life

Now that he has those feelings back again... he won't trade them for anything else in this world

being as busy as he is, he doesn't really have much time to see you. Sometimes, you both go days without seeing each other, this fact made worse thanks to Diluc's unpredictable time management

only when his anxiety keeps getting worse, when thoughts from back then start to flood his mind again, does he give into his desires

in the dead of night, he seeks you out, knocking on your door, hoping, praying to the Archons above that you're not asleep yet

and it seems like his prayers were heard, as he can hear footsteps cautiously approaching the door

"It's me, darling. Please... can you open the door?", he calls before you even have the chance to ask who is out there

without hesitance, you open the door, seeing him standing there causes your heart to ache

without questioning him, you pull him inside, closing the door and then immediately turn to hug him. You instinctively know that he needs this right now

Diluc wastes no time in reciprocating your show of affection, burrying his face in your hair, breathing in and commiting your smell to his memory

standing here like this for a few minutes, you are the first to pull away, asking him to lay down with you

he nodds his head in agreement, following you to the bedroom where he pulls you close into him as soon as you are both comfortable on the bed

night like this have become a common occurance for you, knowing where the roots of his actions lie

without him having to ask for the much needed reassurance, you give it to him, trying to further the comfort with your touches to his arms and back, lightly stoking the skin there until his eyes start to grow heavy and he falls asleep

he has never told you the full story about the things that had happened in his past, and you don't pressure him to do so. Once he's ready, he will come to you on his own, you're sure of that

Until that day arrives.. you can wait and help him in any other way that he needs..

[pickingupmymercedes]

I'd like to believe - Lewis Hamilton

Alternative sequel to Maybe in another life / When I get to meet you

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!

warnings: mentions of mourning, angst, will make you emotional

wordcount: +1K

a/n: Alternative-ish ending (this was actually my first draft to continue their story, so the happy-ish one is the alternative, sort of).

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

MILD TRIGGERING CONTENT UNDER, PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

______________________________________________________________

My dearest little one,

Today marks ten years since you should have been here, celebrating another year of life. Ten times the snow has fallen, making everything quiet outside.

They say time heals all cuts, but some cuts go real deep, leaving scars that never quite go away. And I still find it hard to believe that a whole decade has passed.

You'd be so grown now, so full of life and curiosity, brimming with questions and dreams. I often wonder what you'd be like – would you have my stubbornness and determination, or your mother's grace and patience?

Maybe a beautiful blend of both, creating someone truly unique.

I’m going to visit your stone again later today. Leave this letter like every year. I suspect there’ll be fresh flowers, as always, probably from your mother.

She never forgets.

We never reconnected, not like I'd hoped for. But I think about her often.

I searched everywhere for her. I just really needed someone to share the pain with, someone to hold onto while everything fell apart. We tried talking, spilling out all our feelings, but the words wouldn't come out right. Maybe we were afraid of saying the wrong thing or making things worse.

Maybe we were both thinking the same thing – maybe if we'd done things differently, maybe you'd still be here.

After a while, the space between us just kept getting bigger, too big to cross. You see, your mom, she found a way to move on. She built a life for herself, a life where the pain was still there, but it didn't control her anymore.

I hope she's found peace and happiness, something she deserved more than anyone. She was an incredible woman, and I wish I had been the man she needed me to be.

I hope she reads these letters someday, that she understands how much I loved you both, how much I regret not being there when you needed me most.

Maybe one day, when the weight of these years starts to feel a little lighter, I can finally forgive myself.

Maybe then, I can find the strength to reach out to her, not to get back together, but to find some peace, a simple way to say thank you for the love we shared and sorry for the loss that tore us apart.

You know, life has changed quite a bit since I last wrote to you.

I'm with someone, have been for the past four years. She's patient, kind and knows about you. I don't think we'll ever have children though. She's got her own ghosts.

I retired from racing. Shortly after I won my eighth championship with Ferrari. It was a dream come true, but also bittersweet because I couldn't share it with you. I work as a consultant for the team now, just like Niki was for me at Mercedes. You’d have loved him.

It's a different kind of thrill, guiding the next generation of racers, helping them navigate the same challenges I once faced, but it drives me forward.

I’d like to believe you’d be proud of your old man for that.

I sometime wonder if you would have been drawn to racing too, or maybe you'd have found your passion in something entirely different. Whatever it might have been, I would have supported you every step of the way and with all my heart.

I think about the things you'd enjoy often; you know?! The hobbies and interests you'd develop.

Maybe you'd love music, like your mother. She had an incredible ear for it, always humming a tune or singing softly to herself. It’s what got us close in the first place so many years ago.

Perhaps you'd have a knack for building things, creating something out of nothing with your hands and imagination.

Either way, I hope you'd have found joy in the simple things, just like I try and do now.

There's so much I wish I could’ve shared with you. So many lessons I've learned the hard way and would to show you. Life isn't always easy, my little one. It's filled with ups and downs, triumphs and failures.

One of the most important things I wish I could’ve taught you is the value of love. Real love, the kind that fills your heart and soul, and is worth every bit of pain and sacrifice.

I had that with your mother, even if I didn't realize it at the time. She saw right through me, saw the man behind the driver, and loved me for who I was. I'd hope you'd find someone like that, someone who understands and loves you unconditionally.

It might hurt sometimes, but that's how you know it's real. Love isn't always easy, but it's the most beautiful thing.

I would want you to know that it's okay to make mistakes though. I made plenty, and each one taught me something valuable. The key is to learn from them, to grow and become a better person. But each moment, whether good or bad, shapes who you are.

I wish I could have been there to guide you through it all, to help you navigate the challenges and celebrate the victories. My motto has been “Still I Rise” for the longest time and if you wanted it could’ve been yours as well.

Life isn't about being perfect; it's about being true to yourself and striving to be the best version of you.

In the quieter moments I still dream about you, you know. In my dreams, you're a whirlwind of energy, your laughter filling the air. We go on adventures, explore the world together. I teach you what I know, and you teach me about everything else.

Those dreams are my sanctuary, a place where we can be together, even if just for a moment.

Sometimes, I catch myself talking to you out loud, as if you were right beside me. I tell you about my day, about the races, about the world. It might sound silly, but it brings me comfort. It's my way of keeping you close, of making sure you're never forgotten.

Even though we never got to meet, you are a part of me, and I carry you in my heart every day.

You are my greatest loss, but also my greatest gift. You've taught me more about love than anything else in this world.

Sometimes, under a sky full of stars, I imagine you up there with the constellations, looking down at me with curious eyes. And I need you to know that we love you still, deeply and unconditionally.

Ten years old. A whole person with your own personality, dreams, and wishes.

The world missed out on knowing you, and so did I.

But your memory, my precious child, it lives on. It lives on in the way I cherish every moment, every sunrise, every laugh shared with a friend. It lives on in the way I try to be a better person, kinder, someone who would have been a good dad to you.

This letter is my vow written down. A promise that even though you're not here, you'll never be forgotten.

Happy birthday, my sweet child. I hope, wherever you are, you're smiling, knowing that you are loved and cherished.

You are my light, my angel and a part of me. And though the path I walk may be lonely sometimes, I carry you and your mom with me in my heart, always.

With all the love that would have filled a lifetime.

Dad.

______________________________________________________________

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[eight-cats-in-a-box]

Here's the ratchet piece I promised!! Unspecified, but I had TFP Ratty in mind while writing this

Ratchet x Cybertronian!Reader

No use of Y/N. Or even. Like. Gendered pronouns. Except for he/him, and that's for Ratchet.

DING DING DING COME GET UR FOOD

Ratchet twitched slightly when he felt you lay your helm on his shoulder, the weight familiar, if a bit startling. "Primus, you startled me. What do you want?" The soft rumble of your engines and a huff is his only reply, or he thinks it is, until you murmur something in his audial.

"Did you fuel today? You've been meaner than usual, Ratty." He sighed, leaning into you slightly. The feeling of your frame surrounding his was always a comfort he was happy to indulge in. "Not yet, but I'm still at half-capaci-" He hadn't even finished his sentence before you were shoving a cube of energon into his servo, a low rumble coursing through your chassis.

"Drink." He inhaled sharply, surprised at the force in your voice. The low prickle of worry-sadness-fear that Ratchet could feel through the spark-bond sent a pang through him, and he sighed. "Fine, fine. Since you clearly won't be dissuaded." He chugged it quickly, and the whole cube was gone in little more than a few seconds.

"Thank you, sweetspark." Ratchet nearly broke his keyboard at the tone of your voice. You sounded relieved. It made sense, given his habit of not fueling. He didn't notice the cracks forming in his equipment as he gripped it tighter and tighter, until- "Ratty, we need that. Try not to break it, yeah?"

Ratchet froze for a moment, processing, and laughed, revelling in both the feeling and the sound of your shared mirth. He felt lighter than he had in a long time, and as you gently touched your nose to his, nuzzling against him like an Earth cat, it was like the weight of the world had been lifted off him.

As the two of you calmed down, he leaned against you, sighing softly. "...You want to go cuddle?" Ratchet felt more than heard your excitement, yelping as you scooped him up and ran off, carrying him to your berthroom.

Ratchet was half-expecting to be dropped onto the berth, pleasantly surprised when you lowered him onto it like he was made of glass. "I'm not-"

"Fragile, I know, Ratty. Is it illegal to be gentle with my conjunx now?" Tease. He huffed as you laid down, squirming until you got comfortable- which just so happened to be with Ratchet cocooned in your arms. "Comfy?"

Ratchet sighed. He was, actually. The soft hum of your spark, coupled with the general background noise the base made at night was slowly pulling him into recharge. "I needed this." He murmured, unwilling to disturb the peace of your shared habsuite. A sentiment you agreed with, if your soft noise of contentment was anything to go by.

Slowly but surely, Ratchet drifted off into recharge. No nightmares touched him that night, his usually fitful processor soothed by your familiar EM field. And he knew that even if he was haunted by terrors long-past, that you would free him. And he would do the same for you.

Masterlist

[glorious-sunset]

Character Names in LBFAD – Meaning and Significance

What’s in a name? For the characters of LBFAD (Love Between Fairy and Devil), a whole lot of hidden meanings! These are not apparent to English viewers. Here are my translations and interpretations of these meanings.

DongFang Qing Cang - 东方青苍: “East, Cyan, Dark blue”

The surname “DongFang” means East, the direction of the rising sun. Both Dongfang Qingcang’s (DFQC) personal terrace at Silent Moon Palace and the replica Arbiter Hall he built for Xiao Lanhua (XLH) face East, and capture the most beautiful sunrises. DFQC (and previous generations of DongFangs) are well-respected by their people and enjoy the best locations and residences in Cangyan Sea.

The “Cang” in DFQC was named for his realm, “Cang” Yan Sea, as he was expected to be its leader and follow the path set for him by his father, and Lady Yan before him. Lady Yan chose to rid herself of emotions in order to wield Hellfire, and DFQC’s father forced the same decision onto him. The hanzi (mandarin character) for “Cang” in DFQC and Cangyan Sea means dark blue, and the darkness of this colour represents the darkness of the path he was expected to follow.

But “Cang” is not the only colour in DFQC’s name! The “Qing” in his name means lighter shades of blue/green, or cyan. And despite his prescribed mission to emotionlessly conquer the three realms, DFQC has many lighter, more peaceful shades to his character that reveal themselves as the series progresses. He forms a friendship and brotherhood with his enemy Changheng, who shares with him a love of playing music, art and cuju! And he rises above the cruel dictator of Shuiyuntian who almost annihilated his people, by sending his people to aid Shuiyuntian.

(The aurora borealis in Cangyan Sea is also cyan and dark blue :D DFQC might have been named for this as well as for Cangyan Sea!)

Xiao Lan Hua - 小兰花: “Little Orchid Flower”

We are first introduced to our female lead as “Xiao Lanhua”, which is not a name, but a description of what she believes her true form to be, a little orchid flower. But this was a disguise given to her by her parents and upheld by Siming. Her real name is Xiyun.

Xi Yun - 息芸: “Every breath”

The character for “Xi” in XLH’s true name is the same as the “Xi” in her realm, “Xishan”, and means breath (of life). Just like DFQC, she is named for her realm, as she was the intended leader of Xishan as its Goddess. The Xilan tribe of Xishan had powerful healing magics, and hers is the most powerful of all, with the ability to resurrect the dead with her blood, thus providing the breath of life. She uses this to great effect, resurrecting DFQC in ep. 26, everyone who died on the battlefield in ep. 31, and freeing the 100,000 sealed soldiers of the Moon Tribe.

The “Yun” in her name meaning every, combined with “Xi” can be interpreted as “every breath”. Sadly, XLH’s every breath is for one purpose and brings her closer to her one destiny. She is fated to sacrifice herself to save the three realms from Taisui. If this had happened, then like Lady Chidi before her, her sacrifice would soon have been forgotten.

Chi Di - 赤地: “Red/Barren Earth”

The “Chi” in Lady Chidi’s name means red, and paired with “Di” meaning earth, can also mean barren earth. She is the only official in Shuiyuntian seen wearing Red, as even the current God of War, Changheng, conforms to the same white and pale blue robes that other officials wear. Chidi is therefore a standout who asserts her individuality and does not conform to expectations. Her way of thinking outside the box, led to DFQC and his 100,000 Moon Tribe soldiers being completely blindsided by her sacrifice 30,000 years ago. It also led to her breaking heaven’s laws to resurrect Ronghao, to her later detriment.

Chidi wields powerful earth magics, as represented by her name. These are so powerful that she is able to seal the 100,000 soldiers of the Moon Tribe within the barren earth of Xuanxu realm. Her mighty Shuofeng sword is also swallowed by the barren earth and her magic cannot be reversed without her primordial spirit.

Xun Feng - 巽风: “Obedient wind”

The “Xun” in Xunfeng means to obey, and the “Feng” means wind. His name can be interpreted as either “obedient to the wind” or an “obedient wind”. Like the wind, Xunfeng lacks substance, confidence and ability, and is disrespected by his people during DFQC’s imprisonment. Many contenders try to steal his position as Moon Supreme, and he almost dies on the Wind Plain until DFQC arrives to save him.

But Xunfeng cares fiercely for his people. In his attempt to protect them, he collaborates with Ronghao without knowing his identity or motivations. He is thus “obedient to the wind” where Ronghao is an unknown and unseen entity, like the wind. Xunfeng is unable to discern that Ronghao is keeping Cangyan Sea in a constant state of civil unrest and tormenting the souls of deceased Moon Tribe members until much later, with DFQC’s help!

Shang Que - 觞阙: “Watchtower”

“Que” meaning watchtower is an apt description for DFQC’s lieutenant and right-hand man. Shangque has many talents suiting him to this role! These include his ability to be stealthy, gather information discreetly, undertake covert missions successfully, act as a powerful defensive force, and a healing one due to his skill with Chinese medicine. Like a watchtower, he kept watch for 30,000 years during DFQC’s absence on all events occurring within the three realms. His loyalty and love for DFQC, whom he views as a brother and whose return he awaited for 30,000 years, are astounding!

 “Shang” paired with “Que” can mean lacking sustenance. This is the state Shangque was in when orphaned as a young boy, and many tried to take advantage of him and his dragon body. If not for DFQC saving him, he would likely have perished from hunger or been murdered :(

Jie Li - 结黎: “Dark knot”

Jieli suffers from much internal torment which is like a dark knot inside her. From the moment she was born, she never knew or received love, and was raised by people who continually exploited her, physically harming her and threatening her life. That she is even capable of loving and caring for others is a miracle! Unlike Shangque, nobody like DFQC ever stepped in to save her and care for her.

Jieli cares deeply for both XLH and Shangque. Her life under threat, she makes some bad choices such as spilling a drop of Chidi’s blood onto the Bone Orchid. This is one of many dark and knotty situations she encounters. Although she soon decides she would rather die than hurt XLH, Dieyi poisons Shangque to force her obedience.

Yun Zhong - 云中: “Among the clouds”

Yunzhong literally lives among the clouds, but his head is also in the clouds. He is very narrow-minded and cannot think outside the box. When XLH does not fit within the eight-class system of Shuiyuntian, he immediately decides she is Moon Tribe (even before the Bone Orchid protects her) without considering other possibilities. He is so strict with Changheng that he would rather execute the most powerful asset to Shuiyuntian (and his brother!!) than tolerate the slightest disobedience! Throughout the series, he is intent on exterminating the Moon Tribe and almost does in ep. 31 on completely false pretences.

Chang Heng - 长珩: “Steadfast bird”

Like the golden bird brooches that the celestials wear to represent their tribe, Changheng is a model citizen of Shuiyuntian. He is steadfast and loyal to his duties and puts these above his personal desires. When trying to rescue XLH from Cangyan Sea in ep. 13, he is honest with her that he cannot break the rules of Shuiyuntian, and only hopes that Yunzhong will be reasonable and lenient towards her! Changheng is far more steadfast and loyal than the average celestial. He is the only one apart from Ronghao to visit Chidi’s grave on her death anniversary, honours his brotherhood with DFQC after returning to the immortal world, and after learning Ronghao’s secret identity, listens to his side of the story.

Dan Yin - 丹音: “Crimson tidings”

Twice, Danyin is the bearer of important news, relaying her visions from the Tianji mirror to the sacrifice of her own desires. First, she tells a wounded and imprisoned Changheng about his wedding to XLH in the mortal realm, causing him to start a mortal tribulation. Then, she tells Yunzhong and the High Council about XLH’s true identity as the Goddess, saving Changheng from execution and leading to his wedding with XLH.

Rong Hao - 容昊: “Vastly compromising”

Ronghao has “one tiny earthly desire”, that his beloved master can live. What he is prepared to do to achieve this includes burning the souls of dead celestials and Moon tribe, massacring the entire Xilan population including their women and children, forcing his master to endure 30,000 years of cruel mortal tribulations and using evil qi to keep her alive. His willingness to vastly compromise both himself and her leaves Lady Chidi aghast.

Die Yi - 蝶衣: “Butterfly costume”

Dieyi is a shape-shifter and the different forms she takes, butterfly or woman, are her costumes, which help her to be sneaky and nefarious.

Xie Wanqing - 谢惋卿: “Withering sigh”

Having forgotten her life as Lady Chidi, Xie Wanqing feels incomplete without knowing why, expressed by her sad sighs. Chidi is forced to endure countless mortal tribulations just like this one and die (wither) repeatedly. In each of these lives she is condemned to be murdered by the one she loves!

Xiao Run - 萧润: “Mournful wealth”

Both Xiao Run and his true self as Changheng come from positions of wealth and noble status. But both of them mourn the loss of freedom that comes from this – although Xiao Run is more of a carefree rebel! :D

Si Ming - 司命: “Arbiter of fate”

Using the power of her position as Arbiter of Fate, Siming has repeatedly defied heaven’s laws and changed fate! She resurrects Ronghao as an immortal, creating a new destiny leaf for him. She released the convicted dragon Chang Yuan and married him. And she instructs DFQC on how to also defy nature’s laws and change destiny! :D

Chang Yuan - 长渊 “Steadfast abyss”

He is the deep abyss that Siming falls into, as in choosing him, she accepts the fate of being imprisoned with him in the Ruins of Myriad Heavens for the rest of eternity. But at least he is steadfastly loyal to her.

Tai Sui - 太岁: “Very Ancient”

This most ancient of tricksters could not be defeated by numerous generations of Goddesses, who merely sealed him beneath Xishan. Over his very long life spanning hundreds of millenia, he has learned to tell whatever lies are needed to manipulate others and ensure his survival.

Here is a link to my article: Location Names in LBFAD – Meaning and Significance

All of my LBFAD articles can be viewed with the tag #lbfad reflections (hyperlinked) and the table of contents to these is here.

[screamingintothestarss]

blue milk & roses

summary: you’ve been down lately, and hunter does something special for you

pairing: hunter x reader

rating: general

warnings: light kissing, sickly sweet fluff

word count: 997

authors note: apologies for any grammatical and spelling errors, i proofread as intensely as my smooth brain could

~~~~

The first rays of sunlight warm your eyelids, barely opening in response. Sleep weighs on you like a thick blanket, and you have no intention of shaking it off. A gentle groan tickles your throat, and you roll over, instinctively grabbing hold of the man next to you. You suspected he was using your various scrubs and bodywashes in the fresher, but you didn't remember him being this soft. You call out his name, an unintelligible mumble, and get no response.

"Hunter?" you repeat clearly now. Your eyes remain shut, too exhausted to even bother opening them. You lightly slap his form. "C'mon babe what's wrong...you've never given me the silent treatment," you rasp. 

No response. 

Your eyes snap open at his silence, and you prop yourself up on an elbow, ready to discuss whatever the hell this is, but he isn't there. You attempt to wipe the fog covering your eyes and blink. 

You'd been talking to his pillow.

"Ugh," you drawl, and plop right back down into the bedsheets. You sling a lazy elbow over your eyes in an attempt to block out the sun's warm assault. You raise your leg, heavy as durasteel, and use your foot to push the curtains closer together. Rays retreat into the window, and your leg drops back onto the mattress. You wonder where Hunter's gone off to, but sleep overtakes you instead. 

--

His eyes rake over your sleeping form with complete adoration. A calloused palm cradles your face, and he swears he's never felt anything softer. Gentle moonlight spills through the window, painting your bodies. He thinks you look ethereal like this, your peaceful face and pouty lips bathed in blues. He resists the urge to kiss you.

He's more than aware of how difficult things have been for you lately--coming home late, a drag in your feet, your clothes haphazardly strewn around the room with little consideration, your typical demeanor replaced by a mellow somberness. He knows you're tired, so he picked up the half you couldn't carry and set it on his shoulders. He'd walk a thousand miles just to see you smile. He knows this storm will pass, but he wants to cherish this peace you have right now.

Your lips part slightly as you fall deeper into sleep. Hunter cautiously takes your hips and slots you against him. He begins to cradle you, but you stir.

"Hunter?" a sigh breezes past your lips, barely audible. 

He shushes you lovingly and spoons you. You fall asleep instantly.

--

You leave the fresher, your step a little lighter than before. Last night was the best sleep you'd gotten in a while, despite the interruption. You get dressed and step out of your shared bedroom, and a pleasant smell fills your senses with warmth. You pad over to the kitchen, and your heart nearly overheats. 

The table is set perfectly for two, your chair already pulled out. A gorgeous arrangement of pink and white flowers takes the center, bright and lively. You don't miss how your favorite breakfast foods decorate your plate--steaming hot. A chilled glass of blue milk waits for you. 

"I'm sorry if I woke you," Hunter comes from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel. His eyes never leave you--how could they? 

It's as if the air had been knocked from your lungs; you had no words to cough up. You stare at the arrangement, your lips parted and eyebrows all furrowed. Red bleeds onto your skin like watercolor on a page, and your vision goes misty.

He picks up on this immediately, setting the towel down and making his way to you. 

Calloused palms meet soft skin. "Hey, I didn't mean to-"

"I love you!" the words etched in your heart come crashing through your lips, and Hunter thinks he might combust.

His eyes soften and he holds you. You melt into him, like two pieces of a puzzle, you fit together perfectly. You tuck your chin into his shoulder and his cheek nestles in your hair. 

"I love you too," he says, resolute and affirming. "I knew you'd been having a hard time lately, and I...I just wanted to do something different for you."

You can't find the words, so you hold him tighter. 

"I got Echo and some other friends of mine to help out, which is why the house isn't currently in flames," he chuckles, and you laugh into his chest. "Thought about getting the rest of the boys but eh, they're no better than I am."

You straighten up and set your eyes upon his, and sparkling brown irises are peering back at you.

"It's perfect."

You place a chaste kiss on his lips before sitting down, and he tries to mentally extinguish the fire in his veins. He takes his seat across from you.

You stare at the flowers for a beat, a vibrant assortment of pinks and white with petals like butter. 

"They're beautiful, but they're spoiling the view," you tease.

"I'm inclined to agree," a husky timbre rattles around the space and into your ears, leaving you hot. He sets the vase on the kitchen counter and returns his attention to you, but you've already dug in. 

--

You lay in bed, the moon taking refuge by your window tonight. You trace the sharp planes of his face, stubble tickling your palm. His breathing is steady and gentle. A quiet sigh comes from him, and your heart nearly beats through your chest.

Your mind replays today's events: the brunch with him, a movie, general canoodling, and plenty of stolen kisses. He's like a tree, you think--solid and stoic and sturdy, yet giving life to everything around him. 

His visage begins to blur into hues of blue and black as your eyes slip closed. He's slung his arm around your middle at some point, and your legs are all tangled together. You sigh contentedly, heart and stomach full. 

You sleep better than you ever have. 

ending note: i have been diagnosed with hunter disease, and i hope they don’t find a cure anytime soon

[covetyou]

fools just wanna have fun

ao3 ⋆ main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist

pairing: Dieter Bravo x fat contortionist f!reader rating: Mature (18+ only!) warnings: no smut, Dieter's cock and balls, arguing as foreplay, references to past and hoped for sexual encounters (fingering, squirting, oral), clown!Dieter is a menace (but not explicitly clowny at all in this, for those with coulrophobia), drug use, reader is referred to as Sparkles and has a briefly mentioned latex allergy. word count: 1k summary: A quiet night is all he wanted. It's what he deserved after sweating his balls off out there in the ring all night. But, you have different plans - plans, he's certain, involve riding him until the sun comes up.

A/N: this is a follow on to for one night only (Frankie x Reader), but can be read totally independently of that fic. if you'd like more of this pairing, check out jester little bit more.

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when the workin' day is done, oh fools, they wanna have fun, oh fools just wanna have fun...

Bravo the Clown's balls were sweating. They had been all fucking day. It's simply what you get when you're in the asshole of Florida dressed head to toe in colored polyester.

But he was free now. Free for the night, free from another fucking show and, most importantly, his balls were free.

He'd just pulled them out actually, yanking his waistband below them, letting them bunch up under his flaccid cock as he rolled another joint. The one he had just before the last show didn't quite hit the spot, but this one was sure to do the job. Especially now that his balls were finally cooling down.

Not that the peace and quiet lasts too long. It never does.

Before he can so much as find a lighter to light the joint resting between his lips, you slam your way into his trailer with a bang.

"What the fuck?!" He shouts, flinging the nearest thing to him - which just so happened to be his fucking lighter - at you as you stand there panting.

"Don't you dare light that," you say, pointing to him as you catch your breath. "Condoms. I need condoms."

This isn't the first time you've stormed in here, demanding sex of him wearing nothing much at all. It is the first time you seem to have ran here though. You're never usually this desperate for it, but he supposes there has been a lot of tension between the two of you lately. Not exactly sexual tension, more extreme general frustration directed at him rather than anything particularly mutual. Still, it was there, he'd sensed it, and now here you were, demanding a fuck from your favourite clown, already looking positively fucked out -

Wait.

"What the fuck," he says again, pointing right back at you. "I am not giving you my condoms. What about me?! I know that look, you're not leaving me high and dry, Sparkles."

You're practically snarling at him now, and fuck does he love you like this. Feisty. Definitely wet too, even if it's not because of him. Don't ask him how he knows, but there's something about the way your sweat smells that changes when you're get horny that never fails to make him hard.

"What about you? You are not cock blocking me again, Bravo."

Dieter scoffs. You always brought this up. It wasn't exactly his fault you were fucking a civilian out in the open like that. He was well within his rights to walk over and take one of the blankets you had under your head that day. They didn't belong to you, they didn't belong to anyone. They were communal. "That was one time, and he was a nerd anyway."

"A nerd with a massive dick and button mashing fingers. He was about to make me squirt and you came stumbling over. And you're forgetting the girl with the nipple piercings!"

With each angry flap of your arms, he can see your panties as your t-shirt rides up on your thighs. They look wet and fuck if he isn't jealous of whichever asshole is getting a turn between your legs tonight. It should be him, with his condoms. It's not fair.

"That doesn't count," he answers, crossing his arms over his bare chest with a pout.

"It does!"

"If there was no cock involved, I didn't cock block shit."

His dick is at full mast now, and he's surprised you haven't noticed. If you have, you haven't said anything, and usually you were very good about shouting at him when he had his dick out.

Instead, you just sigh. You give in. To him.

"I don't have time for this shit. The condoms, Dieter. Please."

And, quite frankly, it's no fun fighting with you if you're not going to fight back. That doesn't mean he's going to put his dick away, of course. There's no point. He's only going to play with it when you leave.

What he does do is point you to his condom stash kept in a tin under his trailer bench. He didn't exactly use them often. He didn't like them. But he did use them with you, or if he was taking a little knock at someone's backdoor, or even if someone looked a little less sanitary than he'd like. He did have standards.

He also could've got them out for you. But if he did that he wouldn't have been treated with the view of your ass he's currently getting. You always wear the tiniest little thongs for shows. They're the only things that won't show up around the edges of your glitzy costumes. It gets him going just thinking about them wedged up your ass as he watches you perform some nights - an activity that has made him late to his own performances more than once.

Right now, that tiny little thong is nestled right between your ass cheeks, your t-shirt hiding none of your modesty now that you're bending over in front of him. The gusset of your panties peeks out from between your plush thighs too, and it is absolutely fucking drenched. If he knew you'd be amenable to it, he'd be on his knees eating you from the back already, but he knew you. Only the lucky asshole waiting for you would be getting that privilege tonight.

"Gold packet," Bravo grumbles as you rifle through the tin, picking out a small handful of condoms like you plan on having a very eventful night.

"I know what ones are latex free, Bravo."

Because that is why you came here, to him, and not to anyone else. He's probably the only person in this whole place that carried the condoms you could use - the latex free ones that didn't smell like balloons.

You finally stand just as Dieter idly wraps a hand around his balls, giving them a gentle little squeeze, and with nothing more than a middle finger and the poke of your tongue, you go to leave his trailer.

"Oh, and Dieter?" you say, stopping in your tracks halfway out the door. "Max was looking for you."

"Shit."

His wank would have to wait.

tagging previous lovers of clown!Dieter: @beefrobeefcal @sp00kymulderr @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @clawdee @chronically-ghosted @dieterbravobrainrotclub @for-a-longlongtime

[writer-logbook]

My story doesn't have a villain, so what ?

Does a story really need a villain ? What is a stake where there's none ? How can the protagonist evolve when they've got no one to face ?

In which I explain how the conflict can lie elsewhere - and it's a bit more challenging yet sometimes more interesting.

The world, and society in general. They are often a good starting point to create tension in your novel (because everything is most certainly wrong everywhere lol). For example : what happens if you don't share the beliefs of your city ? What choices can make you defy the current order and break the status quo ? It's a convenient way to plot distopian books, but it's not yet a cliché because of to the complexity of the trope and the different aspects you can explore as it is broad.

The complexity of your characters : the personal quest. The famous "You are your own worst ennemy" is a actually very effective in this case - but any other significant event, trauma, fear etc. can be consistent enough to be the core of a novel. I believe the journey is more important than the "plot" or the ending itself. The path of finding answers, healing and overcoming a traumatic event is easy to suggest, harder to write about, yet somehow always powerfull. I think it's hard to be cliché with 'personal quest' trope because everyone deals with their suffering in such different ways that you can't be exploring it twice. (Or it can be something lighter, like the pursuit of an artistic dream).

Various characters, same event. Multiple POVs are a great way of exploring all the aspects of the issue, based on the different beliefs and perceptions that drive your character. For this to be really effective, you need to have characters who do not share the same opinion on the subject. It doesn't have to be a difficult idea to come up with. For instance: in a futuristic world, you can choose what to do with your memories: keep them or erase them. Some people will argue in favour of the process (because you can erase a traumatic event), others will argue against it, saying that memory is what makes a person. In that kind of scenario, morality plays a huge role.

A destabilising event, much bigger than ourselves or a discovery that could shape the future. A destabilizing event, much bigger than ourselves or a discovery that can shape the futur. Think of that sci-fi novel where the end of the world is brought about by an incoming asteroid. It's the same thing. Either you try to avoid it, or you try to accept it, or you try to fight it. Each way is valuable to a story, if you create some consistent characters.

To conclude : we have to think a bit more about what is at stake when no one actually treathen the peace of the community. There's no manichaeism, we have to go beyond good and evil ; the solution isn't clear - sometimes there's none at all. And that's okay.

Thanks for all the kudos and reblogs, I feel relieved to see that my posts are of some help ! ❤

If it's a bit fuzzy for you, let me quickly explain what my story is about, because that's what motivates me to write this essay.

My MC is a priest in a religious town that is suddenly plagued by an unknown and incurable disease. She tries to get used to it, until her family contracts it. She manages to acquire the power of the goddess and, doing so, shakes the foundations of her entire city and society, believing that she is now able to act. There's no villain whatsoever, just a poor girl trying not to see her family dies and who has to face the consequences of her own actions.

[madwomansapologist]

NFWMB | shan yu

Navigation | More Shan Yu | AO3

synopsis: After a tiring day, all you wanted was to sleep. To dream, to rest, until you were ready for another day. You weren't expecting for the turning your night would have.

warnings: fluff then hurt/comfort. chocking. stabbing. violence. torture. murder couple. in this house we hate the misogynist version of Shan Yu in Mulan (2020) yandere!shan yu. female!reader.

It's been a long day. A rough week. Alright, those past few months were complicated.

All you wanted was to sleep. Since you woke up, all your mind desired was to come back to the warmth of your bed. Truth be told, every person you talked to were nothing but a distraction from your tiredness. Travelling with a army isn't easy or comfortable, nor it's to have so many daily tasks.

You have knife combat training sessions at dawn. After that, you need to face the fact that you're still struggling with economics. Don't matter who's your teacher, it always takes longer for you to understand any subject of it. And all those weeks learning about strategy got you a permanent chair during generals meeting.

Even exausted, you did your best. But as soon as the troop's commander gave in to the argument of one of the generals, you understood that you reached your limit.

The perspective of finally doing what you wanted bad, which was to sleep the night away, touched your heart with a expanding peace. Your entire body was numb, nothing in it had enough strength to continue.

In front of your dresser, you struggled to undo your braid. The door creaked, and you didn't need to look to know who was approaching. Shan Yu smells like steel. Impossible not to recognize.

As Shan Yu got closer, you saw him on the mirror. And that ruthless man, a breathing promise of violence to anyone who dares stand on his way, smiled to you.

You let go of your hair, and transferred your attention to the rings adorning your fingers. "Care to help me?"

His cold, forever cold, fingers held the base of your neck. With a tender squeeze, Shan Yu's hands slid down to undo the braid. How can such a big man be so delicate? It will never stop surprising you. How the hand that cuts others is the same that strokes you.

"You honor me, my moon," Shan Yu kissed your scalp. He kept his face resting on you, just breathing in your essence. After a moment, he worked on the pins. Carefully, he took all of them from your head.

Meanwhile, you worked on taking off your earrings and necklace. Lighter than when you entered the carriage, you didn't even realize that you had melted against Shan Yu's touch. This was already a common occurrence. A touch with Shan Yu is never just a touch, it is always something closer to worship.

When Shan Yu first saw you, the end was soon. As he leave you behind, a sweet taste found a home on his tongue. A incessant desire that would never leave him. Now, when Shan Yu touches you, he holds you.

You held his hands, and pulled them towards your mouth. You kissed his knuckles, enjoying the way he too melts against you, and closed your eyes. Silence came, but quickly you decided to break it. "You have much to do?"

"Not until dawn," Shan Yu answered. "Are you going to bed already?"

You let go of his hands, nodding. Shan Yu rested his hands on your shoulders, and his long fingers slid across your collarbone. His affection is always like this, natural. Genuine. "Then can you help me with something?"

"Anything."

Looking into his falcon eyes, you smirked at his eagerness. "What do you think about exhausting me?"

Shan Yu's chuckle was just what you wanted to hear. His fingers tightened on your collarbone, his yellow eyes becoming sharper. "You little devilish thing," he whispered.

You laugh. "Thought I was your moon."

"You are everything," Shan Yu's fingers returned to the base of your neck. They slid through your hair, squeezing. The gesture caused the good kind of pain. "It all depends on your humor."

“Want to find out what my humor is for tonight?” You turned in your chair, now looking him in the face. Your fingers slid over the lace that kept your clothes attached to your body. "Or would you prefer to keep on debating?"

Shan Yu held your fingers, stopping you from continuing. "You're cold," he said. You agreed. "Let me light the fire. Can you wait, my devilish thing?"

And he's right. Not about the devilish part, but about the my. Shan Yu really owns you. Not because he's stronger than you or anything like that, but because everyday you can only chose to be his. The part of you that matters, maybe even the rest, they all belongs to him.

Still, you rolled your eyes. "I'm not sure if I can."

As soon as Shan Yu got out of the carriage to fetch firewood, you ran to the bathroom. Your insides feel all warm and hazy.

You spent a few seconds trying to get your hair to look right. At the same time as you wanted to see Shan Yu's reaction to entering the carriage to find you naked, you also wanted to feel his hands removing fabric by fabric from your body.

Maybe it took you a long time to decide on the second option, because you were approaching the bed when the door opened again. "It was only a joke," you said as you pulled the sheets off the bed. "You didn't need to run."

Shan Yu's silence wasn't something unusual, but as the seconds went furrowed brows replaced the smug smile on your face. Then it hits you. It didn't smell like him.

You were quick to pull the dagger from its hiding place, but so was the chinese soldier who charged at you. In a matter of seconds, your head hit the bedside table and hands clasped your neck.

But you weren't helplessness. As he pushed the air out of your lungs, you stabbed the figure above you. Warm blood gushed over you, but he didn't stop. And because the man didn't stop, neither did you.

The dagger continued to come in and out. Your arm burned, your fingers ache, your throat felt like it was being torn apart: you just kept going.

Until the weight above you disappeared.

For a while you were only able to cough. Holding your throat, as if your hands alone would be able to heal your pain, you struggled to breathe. Your head was spinning, and your body had never been so exhausted.

Then your hearing started working again. And as the shrill whistle faded, the dry sound dominated the place that was once so safe. And the sound, that raw sound, was of bones clashing.

Shan Yu's fists were raw. The skin was torn apart. And no matter how unrecognizable the face of the being that attacked you was, how much he bled and begged for mercy, Shan Yu continued to punch him again and again.

“Shan Yu…” you breathed. Tears ran down your face. "My sun..."

As Shan Yu looked at you, covered in blood and with colorless skin, he stopped.

He turned away from the soldier, and for a moment he was nothing more than a worried animal. His bloody hands held your face, and when you felt his touch... you broke down.

You didn't know what to expect, you couldn't think, you couldn't move. All you did was to sob, shaking in between his hands. You held him, your nails digging on the skin of his forearm, eyes unable to function.

When the soldier whimpered on the floor, you both looked at him. How was he still alive? You stabbed him endless times, Shan Yu beat him until all he could see was red. And he was still alive.

Shan Yu stroked your hair, and that made you look deep into his eyes. You saw a certainty, a determination that couldn't be stopped by anyone. Anyone but you.

"Would it warm you?" Shan Yu whispered to you. The world was reduced to you both. "If the world ended in flames, would it warm you?"

And you understood. As if you both were one. Because maybe you are. Your sun, his moon. Maybe you both are one, and maybe that's why you understood him so well.

"Do it," you told him. But you didn't need to. Shan Yu could see it in your eyes. He saw the moment you decided to agree. "Have your fun."

With a care that no one would expect from a man with bloody fists, Shan Yu carried you to the bed. Not caring about the blood, only about the fact that it wasn't yours, Shan Yu covered you. He kissed your forehead, your lips, your blood-stained hands.

From the ground, the man was lifted up by a Shan Yu burning with hatred. And instead of hurting him, killing him once and for all, Shan Yu dragged him to the healers.

The man will live. Not for long, but long enough. Enough for him to become an example. Enough for him to regret not killing himself when he had a chance.

This time you were the one watching. And Shan Yu does know how to make a show.

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

[call-me-cheese]

Lucifer x Eve!reader

Summary: You end up existing like a second person your whole life, but in the end everything can change

a/n: will it have part 2? Um, yes..? Btw ~2,3k words

You've been given horns, and the remnants of a halo glowed faintly around them. As you sat silently with your hands on your knees and sobbed. You understood why you went to hell, you hated the fact that you understood why.

From the very beginning, something was wrong, from the very beginning you were just an appendage, only an addition, you were never considered essential. You were given a name, you were called the first woman on earth, you thought you were important. Seemed. Then Adam came. And you've been told he's your husband. It was the first time you cried. There's nothing wrong with that, but there's nothing you want either, but being just a part you had to submit, submit, and agree, now you didn't have the power to decide for yourself.

When you were told that Lilith was better because she was beautiful, much more beautiful than you, you endured. When you were told that you would have to have a child for Adam's sake, you endured and silently hoped that he would forget about it. When you were told for the hundredth time that you were nothing and that there was no way to call you, that you had no right, that you had to live as you were told, you did not want to endure.

On those rare moments when the angels came down to you, you were silent, because Adam spoke, and you did not want to deal with him afterwards. In those rare moments when you had the pleasure of being alone, you considered yourself the happiest in this life, you sat for hours and looked into the water, you were beautiful, yes, but the title of second in everything disfigured you and your soul. When you first laughed, you were sitting in your own blood, you weren't hurting, you hoped you'd disappear from this hateful place and never see those landscapes again. What did they tell you when they noticed the absence? That Lilith was better because she was adequate.

You want to cry all the time, and when you cry you don't feel any better, because they call you a perpetually sobbing fool.

You are called a nobody, and you pray that you will be noticed not as a copy or likeness, but as at least someone. Not like a stupid simple copy of Lilith, made of the person you hate most right now, but like Eve, with a different face, height, and behavior.

When Adam declared that you weren't what he wanted for the thousandth time, you just walked away. You feel like your body is no longer able to create tears, it's able to breathe, you can't even eat normally. The fruit from the forbidden tree seemed beautiful to you, you loved the tree without ever understanding why, but it attracted you, probably, because it was called wrong, like you, it meant nothing, it only decorated the garden. It, like the lake nearby, has witnessed every tear and drop of blood you have generated. Before, it seemed to you that it was feeding on it, you watered it with your tears, holding on to it like a bird, tearing both the bark and your fingers, every word, every prayer, every petition for the cessation of existence you uttered here. If they saw everything, why didn't they answer? They promised to watch you, they forbade you to eat from the tree, they pointed out the eternal surveillance, they didn't notice anything. Why did they lie? Why did you try the faint hope that keeps you still here? What for? You won't be answered, because you are nothing, you are just an addition to the first man on earth... You are nothing.

In that moment, you could have sworn you heard something crunching, crunching inside you and your body feeling lighter.

When the sun began to set, you saw a snake on a tree, it shone with gold, you saw it more than once, probably, it also heard you, but you did not touch it, according to the commandments, everything in the garden is peaceful, does not attack, so you did not want a conflict. You've had enough of your inner self.

"Hello" you said to the snake, and getting up from the rock, you wanted to go away, you didn't decide where, but farther away from Adam, he came looking for you at that time, because he needed you as a servant, but he called it a relationship, called it something that every husband and wife has, you were not sure of his words, according to his stories, he did not behave like this with Lilith, But you didn't have any other sources of information either.

Your mistake was to obey at the beginning, but not to fix anything.

"Wait, where are you going?" A woman's voice asked you, it could have been an angel, but you'd never heard it before, never in all the times you'd crossed paths with them. So turning sharply towards the tree, you began to look for the source of the sound. "Don't you stay here for the night?" Again the voice, you could not find the source, you began to look closely at the snake, but it did not move, then, turning around, you came completely to the center of the clearing, by the noise from the bushes you realized that someone was moving towards you.

"Who are you?" That was the second time you felt the fear that filled your trembling voice, the first time you felt that chill down your spine, the hairs rising on your skin, your heart beating and your head spinning, when you contradicted Adam, he hit you, telling you to be quiet, you bowed your head in pain and unwillingness to see him, obeyed, when you remember it, your cheek begins to ache with phantom pain, You hope in life not to be in such a situation. But here is another fear, you are exhausted from the desire to know the secret of the tree, you are afraid of it, but it is pleasant, you have not felt such harsh feelings before.

"I'm Lilith" the girl came out from behind the tree and appeared to you completely, she was beautiful, you could understand why you were expected to conform, and contrary to expectations, you felt calm when you saw her, you didn't feel an enemy in her, even though every second before, you swore that you hated her. "My husband told me that you often cry from helplessness here, I want to help you."

The snake, which you hadn't been paying attention to for a long time, turned into a beautiful angel, you hadn't seen it before, which was strange because the six wings indicated status, and stood next to Lilith.

"I'm Lucifer" he introduced himself, you've heard from the angels about him, he's a rebel and a rebel, he's the one Lilith ran away with, he's the one who heard everything, everything, and every suffering you had, every cry, "Did you ever think that you were forbidden to eat the fruit of this tree for a reason?"

Your hands are shaking, you want to blindly believe the words for help. Since they are the ones who have condescended to you, then they are the ones who can be trusted, right?

Your hands are shaking, you want to blindly believe the words for help. Since they are the ones who have condescended to you, then they are the ones who can be trusted, right? There is a better chance of luck than just staying here under oppression.

"Take this fruit, it will give you knowledge," they said at the same time, their voices soft and pleasant, so you didn't even think too much about taking it.

They disappeared the moment you touched the fruit, now you see that it is a bright red apple, seductively shiny and alluring. You wanted to show it to Adam, you didn't even understand why.

When he saw you, he came up and was about to start screaming, his hand clenched into a fist, but the bright and shiny apple distracted him quite a lot. He was and is a wingman, so he grabbed him faster than you noticed, you didn't even have time to say anything, he did what he swore never to do, he swore to the angels that he would not touch the fruit of the forbidden tree, but right now and here he did it. And then he handed it to you, you have to try it too. The first bite seemed insanely sweet, the second sour, and if Adam didn't seem to like the new taste, you did.

The next time the angels came, you weren't present, you didn't want to, but when they ran up to you and yanked you by the arm, accusing you of committing sin and acts of disobedience, you were silent again. When you were thrown to your knees in the clearing, you saw the seraphim and Adam, standing there satisfied. You've been accused of everything, you've been told that you succumbed to sin and tried it first, made Adam try it, he told it himself.

Then you understand one very important thing, the angels don't see anything. No problem.

You're crying.

For the first time in a long time, you expressed your emotions in a familiar way. Tears of anger at injustice burned your cheeks and eyes.

Adam was the first, but you were blamed because it was more convenient. For the first time in your life, you were made first, but it didn't make you happy, contrary to expectations, you began to hate it.

"That's a blatant lie, Adam! Can't you see that?!" All the angels around you turned to look at you, their eyes like the sharpest spears directed in your direction. Only when you got up from the ground did you want to sit down again, you staggered under the pressure and took a step back. Your eyes darted across the crowd for support, but there was nothing close to the cruel angels. You felt a slight pressure in the lower part of your throat, your legs became cottony, the lump in your throat pressed harder.

You blinked and tried to breathe, the fear, the fear you'd never felt in this life, enveloped you again.

"Oh, poor thing, have you been corrupted by the rebels?" The seraph stepped toward you, assuming her humanized form and holding out her arms to you, "Just acknowledge your temptation."

You walked away from her, you were surrounded by a ring, but okay, you don't care, you just want to be equally far away, fear stopped fluttering in your eyes, now they were filled with a bright fire of anger and hatred. "Admit it?! To admit that the only way out I saw before the adversaries came was death?!"

You began to breathe parts, you were ready to defend your truth, maybe it was the apple, maybe it was the accumulated anger, but you knew you were ready to die, to die for your honor, to die for yourself.

Seraphim stretches out his hands to you, you almost growl at her, but her eyes don't change, you wanted to see benevolence or a desire to help in them.

All you saw was anger at you for disobedience, her eyes cruel and empty, you could see your reflection in them, your open mouth with a kind of bestial grin and squinted eyes.

"Leave her alone, that fool was always crazy" Adam said, and you turned around, taking a step you almost rushed towards him, but when you felt a light touch, you lost control of your body and fell into a sweet sleep. "Calmed down at last" you heard an echo at the edge of your consciousness.

The final crunch, you could say the sound of the final breakdown, you heard in yourself when you felt the solid ground beneath you and Adam's voice rang out in your insanely aching head, at first it seemed to you that it was just a pathetic illusion and you prayed that you would finally be alone. After all, your brow seemed empty and not at all real.

But no.

No blessing has come upon you.

When you conceived your third child, you didn't want to live, you've lived too long. When the angels told you that his name was Seth and forbade you to call him something else, the desire to go through the pain of childbirth and most likely the subsequent conception of the next child, you did not want to. For now, you're hoping to be alone forever.

Why didn't the angels create another woman from the dust of the ground? Why did you, as just a part, have had to suffer many times more, you are weak, you have always been and will always be. Why were you expected to be involved in the lives of these people? You didn't know anything about them, all you did for them was give them names, not even the ones you wanted, but the ones the angels told you.

So when you heard the sound of screaming, you weren't in a hurry, you didn't feel like going at all, but it's not that bad to go for a walk.

Cain has always been like you, you have the most sympathy for him, so when he towered over the body of his dead brother, you didn't run to stop him.

You were glad it was dead, and your loud, high-pitched laughter tearing through your lungs was just proof of that. Then the nearest rock seemed like a good idea to you.

When you ran to your freedom, even if it was a peculiar one, you were genuinely glad, glad for the first time in all the time that you have been living since, you felt it so much for the first time. Suddenly, your legs came together and a sharp pain caused you to fall.

You're not sure what happened next. Did you die in childbirth? Or did Adam tear your flesh apart, killing you and freeing his third son? You did not really want to hope for the adequacy of Adam, for there is nothing to hope for, and you do not care about the condition of your body on this mortal earth.

You thought you had wings, just for a second, but you felt free. And then a thin hand touched your head, and it became heavier, awareness pierced your head, and your body began to feel heavy and your own again.

Tears welled up in her eyes.

You were disappointed that you would be forced to serve again. But you are also happy with the weight of emotions in your head.

As you(@valen-nidk) can see it looks bit same(?) but it was halfwritten when i saw yours idea, sooo, yes)

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Encouraging words for you"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read a few encouraging words for yourself and your situation, especially if you have been through something and felt overwhelmed/stressed. take care of you and try to give yourself peace.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 2 3

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pile 1

Maybe at times you forget your worth and how special you are. You hide down in your negativity, in your sadness, in your habitual mental pattern that only wants to block you and let you think of you as unworthy and unlovable no matter what you do or don't. But you're just light. You shine bright. You bring warmth, smiles, care and support everywhere you go. You heal people just with your gentleness. You are this special even if you think you're none of them and tend to downplay yourself and all you do. Maybe you're just not aware of how people really see you. Or maybe you don't let them in that much... which is okay, you can also choose who to let in and how. But please, let those you feel like, in. Let them give you back cause you can receive all that you give.

You're healing big things at the moment. You're moving from this place of lack of self care and worth, a self judgment place where your inner critic thrives, to a lighter, simpler and fairer (for yourself) place. You're really going down within, and it's okay if you felt like you were over this: the more we approach a moment of big change, the more we need to uncover stuff and find our real self. Find a new balance within. This process can bring disruption, pain, doubts... but it's all okay. Hang in there, stay true to yourself. See yourself. See things through your intuition, do not let your mind and fears block you. Talk with them, understand their reasons, but show them a new possible and equally safe way to live (even if they cannot see it this way: go slow). You don't have to keep staying in the same place, you can learn to shine 24/7 as you're supposed to do. You can find your way out. You can trust and try something totally new and different. You can change everything, even your point of view (and you're called to).

songs: superstition | jon bryant; mi vida | justin park

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pile 2

Patience, calm, my friend. Life is made of ups & downs and that's fine. We also need to go through dark to be able to see the light. We need to make moves, make mistakes, try, to overcome blockages and grow. To become ourselves. It's painful at times, yes ofc, but it's nothing you cannot survive. You've been through so much and I understand you feel discouraged and tired at this moment, but you don't deserve to stop believing. You don't deserve to give up. You deserve a break, a moment for yourself, a time out. A walk in nature, to feel the sunbeams hitting your face and body, to feel the warmth of life enter your cold tired bones. You deserve more hope. And this is what this message is here for.

Give yourself a break, come back to your present life, enjoy the present moment and all that it has to offer you from life to connections. And yeah, maybe you are not where you wanted to be, maybe there's still a lot of work to reach your goals and maybe you cannot see the end of it and it's getting a lot to bear with, to wait for the right time, but deep down you know it will be worth it. So please, resist the urge to give up. Cry, let your pain out, and then reground yourself in any way you want or feel like. Play with your inner child, they want to help you chill and see things the way you used to, before life's experience complicated it all for you. Give yourself a break over what's not going as you'd like to, what's not going as planned, what you cannot see yet. Let fate work for you. Your prayers, your efforts, are not going unnoticed. You have a choice in how to deal with this moment: will you choose the hardest way (focusing on the negative side continuosly, which will only bring more to you) or the calmest way (taking into the picture also what's good and what can be good in the future if you give yourself and life a bit of time)? Do not overwork, it won't help. Answers will come to you at the right time.

songs: enchanted | taylor swift; that's why I love you | sir, sabrina claudio

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pile 3

You're so sweet and sensitive... please give yourself and your feelings the right importance. Put things back into the right perspective. You deserve to be cared for too. And if someone or something pains you, you should say it. At least, acknowledge that feeling, do not pretend it's fine when it's not. When you do so, you're teaching yourself (and others too) it's okay to mistreat you and to not consider yourself as important as anyone else. You're teaching yourself (and others too) you have no worth, which is untrue. You're so very worthy and fantastic. You're a blessing for those who can really see you and have you in their life. You can go distance for them... but not everyone can see it and appreciate it as they should. Many just take advantage of this.

Do not follow them, do not look over yourself to watch something that is far in the distance with them. Focus on you, on what's in front of you too (look at yourself in the mirror and start caring for the person you see there: do not hate them, they're doing their best. Cheer for them, love them as a best friend could and whatch them blossom. If it's too hard, give them a name and talk with them, help them, guide them as you would with a child or someone lost in your town -even if you don't know the roads' names, you can still help them little by little, maybe even take them where they need to go and have a chat while at it). Make your needs known, do not hide them: you're not too much, you're just human as anyone else (and if someone cannot deal with your needs or even dreams, or marks them as impossible, it's their problem not yours. Do not pick up their point of view, stick to yours. It's okay to dream and you deserve so much more than you believe). It's time to learn to shelter yourself from the harshness of the world and focus on the warmer side of it. You can find it, or you can create it. You're sweet and sensitive but you can make it, you're also very strong and you can find people that will protect and help you too. Frogs may be an omen; drawing/doodling (especially animals) can help you or you may called to do this (check the spiritual meaning of those animals if it happens).

songs: arms | christina perri; unplayed piano (instrumental version) | damien rice, lisa hannigan