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sorry-i-ship-drarry · 3 years

Text

16. Sinful dreams

Prompt used- massaging them | WARNING- implied smut | shout-out to everyone reblogging and commenting on these. Ps. Sorry for no update yesterday ( it's hard to keep up )

" well hello the man who thinks it's his house" harry gave Draco a grin who had presumably came to his house while he was out shopping using the spare key Harry had given him.

" I needed a change of space. Did you bring my biscuits ?" He asked

" I would go shopping and not bring your biscuits, you really are Dim witted " Harry placed his palms on the kitchen top before he took out Draco's biscuits and threw it at Draco in the living room who immediately caught before it would've fallen to the ground and get cracked up.

" what are you even working on ?" Harry asked as he started putting things into the refrigerator.

" just grading some papers " Draco replied opening the packet of biscuit and eating it slowly " still as delicious as ever " he groaned. Chuckling Harry turned to see Draco eating his biscuits, he seemed like Someone who had just been given his Christmas gift.

" I thought you already did them ?" Harry asked

" well turned out the question I had basically wronged of every student was infact right, I was the one who made a careless mistake in the question paper, so now I have to recheck every paper and grade them over again " he sighed as he simultaneously went back to grading his papers

" sometimes you work harder than I do " Harry gave a light laugh as he got his juice box and went into the living room to sit with Draco.

" well being a professor is hard. You should see the answers sometimes. They're worse than yours " Draco groaned changing the answer sheet.

" hey, I wasn't that bad. I just didn't like potions because of snape " Harry defended himself as he watched Draco grade the papers. He randomly picked one of the Answer sheet of a kid named ken wood, chuckling almost immediately after reading the answer

" I remember I wrote the exact same answer once and it turned out to be surprisingly right which I see you've crossed at "

" what?" Draco huffed as he took the sheet from Harry, Peering over the answer and as if upon realising his mistake, sighing he corrected the answer and grade all over.

" you do work hard " Harry's Voice echoed as he went into th bedroom.

" you've got no idea Harry, if only one day you accept that job at school, you'd understand " Draco voice echoed as well from where Harry heard it.

He soon came back in the living room carrying his guitar and sitting down next to Draco's feet, tuning it instantly.

" no joke honestly, I am thinking over it. I do enjoy working in the Muggle world but sometimes i just feel like it's better being really who you are and being with people of your sort " Harry explained

" well Ms. McGonagall would be very glad to have you " he replied.

" you're gonna play ?" Draco asked as he finally noticed Harry had set his hands to play

" you don't want me to ?" Harry asked looking up at Draco

" yes please, I will kill myself if I have to do more of these with no source of enjoyment " Draco rolled his eyes..

Smiling Harry started to play lightly. When after the war Harry set out on his path to discover himself and trying out new things, he had instantly fallen in love with playing guitar. It took a great deal of practice but Harry had successfully learned how to play it last. Often he plays for his friends if they ever go out on a trip or if they're stressed out and he had played on a bunch of their bonfire nights. For Draco it had always worked out pretty greatly. He loved listening to harry play, he played it to so whimsically that he mostly found himself lost in the tunes and just hearing Harry hum along as he played. It was soothing and mildly attractive to Draco, not that he's ever going to tell Harry that but he liked to imagine that he already knew and that was why he used to play it more attractively each time.

The thing was Harry never really realised if he ever started to sing lightly along playing or humming, Draco never pointed. So when Harry was lightly humming and singing to the song, Draco found it much easier to grade his paper more fastly and without wanting to kill himself however in between he had groaned because of craning his neck downward and harry immediately took notice of it.

" what happened ?" He asked concerned putting away his guitar.

" nothing, just my neck hurts now from all the looking down just like I have to look down on you " even in slight he hadn't missed the opportunity to tease Harry who flipped him off.

" here, let me massage " Harry got up from the floor and went behind to sit over the edge of the couch, his feets alongside Draco's body.

" you sure, you know- ooh " he immediately moaned in relief as Harry started massaging the bottom of his neck.

" better ?" Harry asked

" much better " Draco mumbled as he closed his eyes and let his head fall back a little enjoying Harry's hands over his neck.

" you overwork yourself Draco " Harry complained knowing Draco, he probably had time but still tries to do everything beforehand

Draco hummed in response. It soon became ritual between them for Harry to give him massages whenever he was tired or very much worked out and harry happily complied. It was only during one Massage when everything became weird, Harry was simply giving Draco a massage when he had accidentally moaned loudly when Harry has massaged a specific spot on his back. Assuming that none of them heard it, Harry resumed giving him a massage when he elicited the same moan out of Draco and suddenly it became too much for Harry to go on and had to immediately stop Because of the sudden sensation going down south.

" Why'd you stop ?" Draco asked embarrassed

" oh nothing, I - I just need to use the restroom " Harry said as he not so subtly got up from behind Draco and ran for the bathroom to cool down but nothing really worked. Hearing Draco's moan was like a cardinal sin and harry had happily became a sinner. His voice rang over and over in his head which only troubled everything. All he could think about was how beautiful his moan had sounded and how in many more sinning ways he could elicit the same moan. Inappropriately thinking about Draco only worsened everything because the images he had thought about Before of Draco now had a sound and it only turned him on more and more.

Harry was leaned against the kitchen sink waiting for his hard on to go away when there was a knock on the door. He must've been in there for longer than Draco could've anticipated because now he was concerned about Harry.

" is everything alright, Harry?"

" yeah, ev- everything's fine " everything was not absolutely fine, how voice sounded much more strained and he was fighting urge to shove his hands down his pants for relief

" you don't sound so fine, open the door Harry " Draco commanded from the other side of the door

" you go, I'll be out in a few" Harry leaned furthermore onto the sink, almost palming over his jeans

" I'll break the door open if you don't open it right now, I'm giving you 3 seconds "

" 1"

" 2 "

" 3 - I'm openi-"

Huffing Harry opened the door " what ?"

" nothing-oh" Draco eyes widened as his eyes fell over Harry's prominent bulge. They remained in a moment of silence where Harry looked anywhere but Draco's face while Draco found it hard to resist to not stare at Harry's pants.

" i- I don't know how it happened- think you moaned and I've just have had pretty off days and somehow- nmph" it was too late for Harry to continue that sentence since Draco had shoved harry inside the bathroom, pining against the sink and kissing him over the lips. One of his hands making its way under Harry's shirt while the other one enclosing him between him and the sink. Travelling his hands on Draco's neck he made the kiss more heated and rough. It was beyond anything Harry could've ever imagined Draco's soft lips could've done but once his lips were against Harry's, it had aroused a wild sensation in him to have him right here and right then. The kiss became more sloppier with each second, not hurriedly but am urgency to discover what else he could do. The hand pressed against Harry's chest under his shirt was exploring the deeper depths of his chest and slowly moving downwards, Which continuously made Harry release moans he had only thought he could produce with a man. As if the heat was unbearable between them, Draco separated for air and travelled from Harry's lips down to his jawline, pressing small kisses before he has finally reached his neck and pressed warm kisses.

" ar- fuck - you sure ?" Harry moaned as Draco resumed kissing and licking over Harry's neck. His grip on Draco's neck had travelled into his hair and grasping enough to make him lose his control.

" I've always wanted you Harry " Draco moaned in his ear. He would've collapsed on the ground if he wasn't pressed against by Draco's body. Biting his lip he suppressed his desperate moans only for a few seconds until he found it hard to resist when he had managed to kiss Harry's sweet spot and initiated giving him a hickey. Losing control Harry rutted softly against Draco in a desperate attempt to gain any sort of friction for relief which made both of the men's moan in pure ecstacy of the moment and deepening kisses.

" you want to move to bed ?" Draco asked as he went back to kissing Harry's lips.

" thought you'd never asked " Harry mumbled against his lips and held onto Draco's neck, wrapping his legs around his body as Draco placed his hands under his thigh and carried them onto the bed and resumed kissing each other, losing one article of clothing one by one until none were left.

It was the night that had officially ruined their friendship, taking things to next level , doing things to each other they had only dreamt off but who would've known that their dreams of having the other men pressed against the bed, desperately moaning their name would've come true.

Requests open

I couldn't come up with any better idea for this prompt. Sorry if it seemed rushed.

Day 15- nobody can ever be you | Day 17- their own song

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pynches · 5 years

Text

there’s no one else (i’d love to hold more)

a/n: for @thegirlwhocanbemoved, the “wait, are you jealous?” prompt. It may not be what you expected but i still hope you like it!

word count: 1999

no tw!

For as long as Ronan could remember, everything he dreamt was a reflection of himself, his feelings and emotions implemented in whatever he decided to give life to in his dreams. Often, these feelings and emotions were unconscious, something Ronan wasn’t aware of before he saw them play out in real life.

The first time Chainsaw landed on Adam’s shoulder, gently nipping at his fingers as Adam had reached up to ruffle her feathers Ronan knew he was in trouble.

Chainsaw had taken a liking to Adam from the start. She had been too shy, however, to interact with him. Instead, she stared intensely at Adam every chance she got, much like her creator, flying away whenever Adam happened to look in her general direction.

This went on for a while.

Then Ronan stopped hating himself.

Chainsaw became a lot more affectionate after Ronan stopped denying his feelings. Adam’s shoulder had become a permanent residence for the raven and Ronan couldn’t blame her, he would be touching Adam on any occasion too if he thought Adam would let him.

Adam didn’t seem to mind either, always petting Chainsaw or ruffling her feathers, blissfully unaware of the implications of this, how she was really a part of Ronan’s soul embedded into the body of a raven.

Chainsaw was all too happy with the attention, preening at Adam’s careful fingers and fond gaze, something Ronan had dreamed about having directed at himself for months.

“I think she likes you better than me,” he had said one night at St. Agnes, a loaded confession disguised by an off-handed comment.

Adam laughed at that, something soft and fleeting. Ronan wanted to catch the laugh and put it in a bottle to listen to when the loneliness he often felt was threatening to rip him apart.

“I wonder why,” Adam shot back, his tone sarcastic but not unkind. He scratched underneath Chainsaw’s chin, Ronan had to clench his hands into fists at the sight before he did or said something stupid. Something that would reveal too much of himself and set him up for the eventual rejection he would like to procrastinate until he was less vulnerable, if that time ever came.

Chainsaw watched him knowingly, he had always dreamt up his creatures too smart for their own good. It almost seemed as if she was smiling mockingly. “Look! I’ve got Adam’s hands on me, something you’ve always wanted but never been the recipient of.”

Ronan stuck out his tongue at the bird when Adam wasn’t watching and went back to laying on the floor with a sour expression, his headphones back on his ears to drown everything out.

Not that much later, Ronan felt a soft kick to his boot and opened his eyes to Adam staring at him, Chainsaw tucked against his chest.

“I’m going to bed,” Adam said softly once Ronan had removed his headphones with the customary eye roll. It took him only a few seconds to realise why Adam had reduced his voice to a whisper.

Ronan felt his mouth pull back into an involuntary sneer. “Why the fuck should I care, Parrish,” he said loudly, waking up Chainsaw who glared at him. He would have felt bad for her if there wasn’t a hot surge of something awful coursing through his body at the sight of her nestled against Adam’s body, all protected and warm while he was reduced to sleep on the floor with only his jacket as a sorry excuse for a pillow.

“Jesus, Lynch,” Adam said, his tone reprimanding, his eyes disbelieving. Ronan tried to shake it off like he often had in the past without issue. He had been on the receiving end of that exact expression more times than he could count, but it usually not Adam who was looking at him like that, talking to him like he was something else than just “Ronan”. Something to be ashamed of maybe.

Ronan shrugged, pretended he had brushed the comment off and went right back to closing his eyes, ignoring the happy squawks Chainsaw let out when he was allowed in Adam’s bed.

Ronan’s blood only boiled further until he was so close to saying something he sat up immediately. He shook out his jacket and put it on, ignoring the confusion on Adam’s tongue.

“Ronan-”

“You can babysit the bird tonight,” he said before he walked out of the door. He was down the stairs before Adam could even comprehend what had just happened, he was in his car before Adam looked down at Chainsaw who looked back with a guilty expression.

Nothing ever escaped Adam, especially not when Ronan was the subject of his watchful gaze.

Ronan knew this, he knew he would have to explain himself in the morning but with the wide expanse of the highway stretched in front of him, the deafening beat of some song he had randomly burned on one of his tapes drumming through the thoughts nagging in his brain, he really didn’t care.

He knew Adam, despite his best efforts to remain unknowable so when the next day rolled around and Adam kept glancing at him from his locker, Chainsaw still on perched on his shoulder, Ronan sighed and closed the door, stepping right into Adam’s face. “What?” he asked, though he knew exactly what Adam was going to ask next.

“What happened last night?” Adam asked as if they had rehearsed this.

Ronan kept to the script. “Nothing special.”

It wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t the truth either.

Adam lifted one of his eyebrows with practised ease. “I don’t believe that.”

“I don’t give a shit about what you believe,” Ronan sneered back. This time it was more lie than truth. He watched as Adam looked around the hallway, catching some people glancing at them. They once had been notorious for fighting at any given moment but that changed over the months they had known each other. Now, when they happened to fight, it was treated as a new piece of gossip, happily spread between the bored boys of Aglionby.

“Meet me at St. Agnes tonight?” Adam asked. Ronan treated it as a command. He could never say no to Adam and somewhere deep within him, he knew Adam knew this but that was something he wasn’t ready to think about yet.

Ronan nodded and watched as Adam walked off, Chainsaw still on his shoulder, ignoring Ronan completely.

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he did miss Chainsaw, the bird he had hand-fed through the early stages of her life and as much as he loved fighting, he hated fighting with her.

The evening couldn’t come early enough.

By now, Ronan had memorised Adam’s schedule to the minute. That didn’t prevent him from showing up late to St. Agnes. It was half an hour after Adam got off from work and Ronan had sought out every excuse to be this late. He marked it off as being busy but he knew the real reason.

He didn’t want to seem too eager and scare Adam off.

He knocked on his apartment door obnoxiously, impatiently waiting until Adam opened the door.

His hands were still a little dirty with leftover motor oil, his hair in disarray, no doubt from going through it with his hands when he was looking at one of the few exercises he didn’t understand and stressed about until he was practically tearing out his hair and biting through his pencils. In those moments, Ronan wanted to wrap him up and finally show him the softness Ronan kept inside at all times, show Adam the softness he deserved to feel.

Instead, he brushed past Adam into the small room, looking at him with a bored expression even though his heartbeat would have revealed it if Adam could hear it as much as Ronan could feel it.

“What do you want?” he asked, his words venom on his tongue.

Adam sighed as if he was already tired from the conversation, tired from Ronan. It set him off even more.

“To talk.”

Adam nodded his head to his mattress and sat down, staring up at Ronan until he sat down too.

“I don’t have anything to say,” Ronan tried but Adam pretended not to hear him. Instead, he looked at the sunset happening outside of the window that now had his attention. Ronan desperately wanted to get Adam’s eyes back on himself.

“You’ve never acted this way with Chainsaw,” Adam said, pricking through every layer Ronan had wrapped himself up with. “Something is wrong.”

“What do you care?” Ronan asked, hiding his desperation for Adam’s caring nature behind a disinterested tone, his hands buried in the pockets of his jacket to match the attitude even though he did it for the added benefit of feeling the heat of Adam’s skin through the leather of his jacket.

“You’re my friend,” Adam said like it was something simple. Ronan wanted to tear himself apart.

“She’s attached to you,” Ronan mumbled, willing for Adam to understand him without having to say anything more.

He didn’t understand it and even if he did, he didn’t let anything on.

“What do you mean?”

“She’s always around you. Sitting on your shoulder and shit,” Ronan said. Adam understood it as it was, the only explanation he was willing to give.

“Wait a minute,” Adam said and Ronan knew this was the end. “Are you jealous.”

Ronan Lynch didn’t lie but that didn’t mean he had to tell the truth either.

They stayed silent for a few seconds, watching as the sun fully disappeared and left them in the darkness, unable to see anything but the shimmer of leftover light outside.

Everything was easier in the dark.

“Are you jealous of me or are you jealous of Chainsaw?”

Ronan swallowed hard.

Adam took his hand, tangling their fingers together. Slight tremors were going through the muscles of Adam’s hand, revealing his own nerves at this development.

It made Ronan feel a little better.

“I don’t like a bird better than I like you,” Adam offered with a small laugh, a way out, a way for Ronan to laugh along with him and forget this happened.

“Do you like me?” Ronan asked instead, letting the desperation he felt bleed through his words. It was the one chance he gave Adam to say something or he would try to get over him even though it felt like Adam had nestled himself in his heart much like Chainsaw had nestled himself against Adam’s chest the night before. Secure and unmovable.

He felt rough fingertips on his jaw and couldn’t suppress the goosebumps rising on his skin. He couldn’t see Adam come nearer but he felt his breath mingle with his own, his lips close enough if he had the courage to lean forward.

He didn’t have the courage.

Adam had.

The kiss was slow, soft, nothing like either of them but right enough it made something unfurl in his chest.

“Does that answer your question?” Adam asked, a whisper against his lips before he was pulled into another kiss.

It wasn’t until they were breathless and lying down on Adam’s shitty mattress, unable to hold themselves up anymore, only illuminated by the soft glow of the bedside table light Adam had quickly turned on, that Chainsaw joined them, bumping her head against Ronan’s hand apologetically.

Ronan smiled unguardedly at her, giving her some crumbed crackers from his pocket he had kept there just in case she came flying back to him.

“You’re still my favourite girl,” he told her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Don’t tell the maggot.”

He felt Adam’s eyes on him but for once he felt unafraid and looked back like he had wanted to do since the moment they met.

Adam smiled at him, his lips stretching over his teeth, and Ronan forgot what he had been jealous about in the first place.

#trc #the raven cycle #pynch #pynch fic #pynch fanfic #pynch fanfiction #trc fic #trc fanfic #trc fanfiction #the raven cycle fic #the raven cycle fanfic #the raven cycle fanfiction #Adam Parrish #ronan lynch #adam x ronan #ronan x adam

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autumnpleaves · 4 years

Note

I just chose randomly so skip any that make you uncomfy-

green: do you have a favourite flower?

purple: a poem you think describes your closest friend

orange: if you could, would you change your eye color? why? to what color, if so?

amber: what's saved as your phone's lockscreen?

charcoal: have you ever been camping?

emerald: if you had the option, would you choose to move and live in another country? which one?

erin: what was/is your best school subject?

honey: your thoughts on magic- does it exist?

gold: do you wear your socks mismatched?

mulberry: earbuds or headphones?

mint: favourite flavour of gum?

pecan: shuffle your playlist, what's the first song that comes up?

prussian blue: what's your first choice at the vending machine

Green: do you have any favorite flower?

Yes! Sunflowersssss and uh... dandelion? Catsear as well! :)

Lavenders and Daisies are also my favorite :)

Beautiful Classics

Purple: a poem you think describes your closest friend

0-0

....

Uh. Okay lemme look up a poem quickly

To All My Friends by May Yang :)

I mean I know it says closest friend, but everyone is my friend so-

Also maybe I should write one coz I can't find any that fits my closest friend

----

Flickering meadows

Glowing hollows

I dreamt a dream and I wish you were here

I close my eyes and the world disappears

You're here with me, and you're finally in my reach

I think whenever we talk, 'You're such a peach'

Late night and early morning talks

Nothing would beat this virtual daily walks

Through the meadows and through the woods

Staying at home and snacking on baked goods

Eggs and Butter, Sugar and Flour

You are my favorite flower

So thank you, for everything

When you're not here, the world no longer sing

----

Eyyy there we go! :]

Orange: if you could would you change your eye color? Why? To what color, if so?

Hmmm no!

I don't wanna change my eye color because in my eyes I'm physically perfect the way I am

I don't wanna change anything about myself, because not only will I definitely choose a really ridiculous color that will not match my entire appearance but because I most definitely would choose Flaming Fiery Orange or Darker Hazultnut Brown or Pink (I'm curious) or Silver/Gray/White /hj /lh

No but really my hair color would most definitely have to match with it and it should fit my entire vibe so I genuinely have no idea if any of that is a good idea XD

Amber: what's saved as your phone's lockscreen

Okay. I didn't think this was a question I would dread answering /j

Those are sadly not my cats. And the moment I realized you could add videos as your lockscreen, well-

Also that last picture is also my chat background :)

Charcoal: have you ever been camping?

Mmmm.... honestly I forgot. I think I have?

My aunt sells so many camping stuff and most of em ends up at my house at one point so I think I might have? I don't remember sleeping in a tent. So probably not.

XDD

I've imagined camping so many times it might as well have been reality at this point.

Camping but never overnight is the right way to put it XD

Emerald: if you had the option, would you choose to move, and live in another country? Which one?

Hmmm maybe Australia or New Zealand honestly.

Australia coz koalas and almond milk, Adelaide specifically for that rural area vibes and the uni

Melbourne for the city vibes and the theater :)

New Zealand... because it seems nice XD

Erin: what was/is your best school subject

Hmmm.... it used to be....

Let's see.

Elementary/Primary: Math, Science and Music

Junior High/Secondary: Math, Science, English, Music

High School/Uh.. Higher Secondary: Pure Maths, Chemistry, English

So yeah I definitely... did better in some of them XD

Honey (download honey now to get insane promos on yo-): your thoughts on magic- does it exist?

Yes. Definitely.

Wait actually-

I genuinely don't believe in magic. Like its not gonna happen. But I want to believe in them, so I give myself the benefit of doubt, and just like yeah it happens if it happens! I believe in miracles, not magic tho. It could exist but as of right now, mayhaps! Perhaps not! Who knows~

Gold: do you wear your socks mismatched?

I try not to XD

When my socks are mismatched either the length is different or its just not nice looking so XD

I try not to also because whenever I am aware or like purposefully do it, my skin just crawls and begs me to take it off coz its all wrong and the pair is RIGHT THERE or if it isn't THEN TAKE ANOTHER ONE! NO. MISMATCHED. SOCKS. Unless when you bought it, it is meant to be mismatched then cool. BUT OTHERWISE TAKE IT OFF ITS THE WRONG TEXTURE, SOCKS ARENT ME-

Yeah. Give it up for my brain everyone 👏

Mulberry: earbuds or headphones

Hmmm...

Long periods of time? Headphones

Short periods of time? Earbuds

Headphones have to be over the ear though

Earbuds should be able to sit snugly in my ear, but it should also be used when I'm not going to be laughing or smiling a lot because it h u r t s.

Like my muscles just push on my ear and it PUSHES THE EARBUD AND IT KEEPS FALLING OUT and when it pushes it, it just H U R T S so no thank you.

Headphones also when I don't necessarily need my glasses to see coz the glasses hook on my ear + the headphones just h u r t as well.

XDD

Gosh so many rules

Mint: favorite flavor of gum?

Hhhh, bubblegum. Wait... wait no-

Tutti Frutti or... strawberry cream? If I could prefer it I'd rather not have strawberry cream but tutti frutti is nice

No actual fruit flavors like apple, I imagine that would taste horrible

Pecan: shuffle your playlist, what's the first song that comes up?

Sure after this song ends! :)

Waiting....

Adore You - Harry Styles

I shuffled it twice by accident but the one before that was Bang! - AJR

Prussian Blue: what's your first choice at the vending machine

If there is Drinks?

Drinks - Tea. The umm... Honey Tea? Or Milk Tea depends if it has it or not, otherwise cranberry juice.

Snacks - Chips (potato chips) or Gummy Bears or Chocolate it there is any... OH AND UH SALTED PEANUTS I love those uwu

Thanks for the ask ISPINI!!!

#answered stuff #ispini’s up!!#*yes you are one of my closest friends so yes that poem is for you too*

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clairvoyantsam · 4 years

Text

When dreams come true ft Jared Padalecki - 4th year anniversary

Rome, May 19th 2016 ... The day the ultimate dream came true! Some of you may remember I bumpted into Jared (or in fact, JARED bumpted into ME) while out and about in Rome that day, a few of my friends know all the details too, but I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned here exactly how and under what impossible circumstances this happened. So ... story time! (& stuff about jib5,6,7)

BACKGROUND

This wasn’t the first time I met Jared, I had met him before at JIBCon5 in 2014, so this was my second time (I was supposed to see him at JIBCon6 in 2015 too which I attended as well but you guys know what happened that year).

He was lovely that first time, I told him it was my first Supernatural convention and he gave me a warm welcome, made the entire experience so wonderful for me, during the photo ops, the autograph session (where I gave him a scrapbook with messages from fans I had been in contact with) and the panel question I asked him (I completed one of his sentences which was actually a Sam Winchester quote from SPN and it made both of us and the entire audience laugh xD - I have a photo of me somewhere from that moment and I haven’t seen myself smile so widely ever!). Anyway, like I said, the first convention was fantastic, a beautiful and most memorable experience (despite the fact that Jared had a misfortune that time too since he broke his arm and missed one of his panels as a consequence).

The second convention while it had its moments, it sat (and still sits to be honest) heavy in my heart because I was constantly worried about Jared’s wellbeing and everyone including me was heartbroken. The rest of the cast did everything they could to keep us all entertained, they truly did but there was a dark cloud over our heads that couldn’t be ignored. The first thing we talked about with Jensen at his meet and greet (because of Jared’s absence, I was given the opportunity to be in that M&G, sitting right across from him and Robert Singer who was present at the con as well). Jensen was genuinely worried, he surely put on a brave face but whenever Jared was mentioned, he’d get emotional. While I asked show-related questions at the M&G, I wasn’t sure what to ask Jensen or tell him when I got his autograph and then I thought of the simplest thing: “So, I may be really sad about the empty spot next to you (Jared’s spot on the poster Jensen was signing for me) but I wanted to tell you that I truly appreciate the fact that you’re such a supportive and caring friend towards Jared. Everyone deserves a friend like you to have their back.” Then he took my hand, shook it, looked me right in the eye, put a hand on his heart and told me a sincere “Thank You”. Frankly, I loved Jensen even more at JIB6, he showed both a brave and vulnerable side and he tried so hard to give everyone a great time. My best photos with him are from that con for sure!

So, you see, I HAD to try and give my luck a third chance to live the perfect experience. I wanted to live it all, photo ops, autographs, M&G, panels but I also had a secret wish: to be one of those fans who accidentally meet their fav randomly in the city (NO stalking because that’s just fucked up, only by chance). I always saw posts of lucky people who got to meet him outside of conventions. He’s not one of those snob celebs, you see. He’ll always smile at you and talk to you and get pictures with you. So, I dreamt about it the entire year before JIB7. @darlingjared and I would talk and joke about it all the time, praying that our stars will listen and make a surprise meeting possible. Of course, deep down we know the chances were extremely low. Rome is a HUGE city with hundreds of places of interest. He could be anywhere, on the opposite site of where we’d be.

The day finally arrived, and we got to Rome (Thursday, May 19th 2016). Soon after I arrived at the Hilton hotel, I got to my room to get some rest after the flight. Not much later, I got a text saying Jared was at the hotel!!!! (no idea why??? the convention was starting the next day and he wasn’t to appear until the day after that). Before I could get dressed to go check, he was gone but I heard he was really sweet and greeted everyone who said hi to him.

In the afternoon, after I met with my roommate and @darlingjared ,we took the Hilton bus that took us downtown; it left us near the Victor Emmanuel II monument. Naturally, we went for walks around the city. We had a bite to eat and then got lost in a street trying to find our way to the Trevi fountain, so we asked around and managed to get to our destination. We spent a few minutes there, taking photos and then continued our way, meaning to get to the Spanish steps. While we were heading there, rain started pouring, so we took shelter for a few minutes until it stopped. We thought, damn, we will never meet him during this weather. When it stopped, we did some shopping at a supermarket and since the time had passed and we had to grab our ride back to the hotel since the Hilton bus had a specific route schedule, we said let’s just pass the Spanish steps quickly, go down via Condotti and head back. (I have to mention here that my BEST DECISION EVER was to wear the Always Keep Fighting T-shirt for this walk). At this point, we were certain we wouldn’t meet him, so we basically forgot about it and just started chatting with each other and laughing. I mean, we walked around many places, we got lost, we got stuck in the rain. What were the odds??? So, we’re laughing at our own jokes and for some reason we had our attention focused at the right side of the street. I turn my head straight at the PERFECT time, seeing that beautiful, smiling giant, coming my way through the crowd and adressing me before I had the time to react:

Jared: “Hey, I love your shirt!”

I fucking froze. Can you imagine?????? Not only did we eventually meet him but HE came to us FIRST to talk!!!!! We didn’t have to notice him and shyly go talk to him, wondering if we’re disturbing him, asking for pictures. He casually just approached us because he wanted to, because he’s kind and simple like that. I was so shocked, mouth agape, that he just went in for a hug to bring me back to reality!!! Now, name me another actor, another celebrity who will stop on his own to talk to you and hug you, I DARE YOU TO FIND ONE!!! He’s pure and special like that. He hugged each of us (gosh, he smelled like Heaven and looked so good in that sexy coat he wore, his hair kinda wet from the rain), asked us how we’re doing and then we asked if it would be ok to take some pictures with us. He said “sure!” and we took our phones out. Mine was brand new and I hadn’t even taken a picture with it, so, basically Jared blessed it first xD My hand was shaking so bad that I couldn’t take the picture, so, he put his hand on mine to steady it and took the selfie. He took pics with all of us, we thanked him and then he told us to have a good time and that he’d see us again at the convention. Needless to say when he left, we started losing it because we couldn’t believe what had just happened!!! It was out of this world. To this day, as I’m writing this, I still can’t believe it. We wanted something so SO much, that the universe made it happen. It’s one of those times that you know the stars aligned so that something you desired with all your heart could come true!

The entire convention was absolutely phenomenal. Jared remembered my face throughout the weekend, I asked him interesting questions during his panels and the one he shared with Jensen for which he later thanked me when I saw him at the photo ops (he particularly liked my question adressed to him and Jensen about the proudest they’ve felt about themselves in real life and about their characters on Supernatural and the other one concerning what Sam and Jared would tell each other if they met in real life which he found great because he said he had never been asked that before.) The M&G with him was a blast, he sat with us longer than what was expected, got to ask him two questions there (I have another detailed post with everything that was said in the M&G), he was super chill and eager to answer everything we wanted to know. When I got his autograph, I told him everything he means to me, thanked him for inspiring me to be a better version of myself, straight out told him I love him and he was so kind and gentle and shook my hand and told me he loved me back (also gave him a custom made chocolate I ordered particularly for him with #AKF as a theme). “I love you, always keeping fighting Jared, never forget.” I was on the verge of tears for multiple reasons but I had to say that to him. I was not in a good place back then and Jared was a beacon of light, of hope that kept me going. At our last photo op together, I asked him to hug me “like there’s no tomorrow” and he held me so tight in his arms, I couldn’t breathe but I didn’t care. I didn’t know what he looked like when he hugged me but getting out of the photo op room, the girl who was behind me stopped me in the hallway and said: “Omg, he was so sweet with you! Loved what he did with his eyes. Your photo will look beautiful”. I was confused because I was looking at the camera when the picture was taken, so I had to wait for my photo op to get printed to see what she was talking about. My heart melted when I saw this:

I mean, look at that SOFT face. He’s so sweet, you can FEEL his kindness radiating by reading his expression. Some people may think nothing of this but it meant the world to me back then. It was as if he was telling me “things will get better, you can do this” without using words.

When Jared hugs, he does it with everything he has, like he’s said before, hugging is showing you care about someone and damn, he does. He’s an actor but he doesn’t pretend during these moments, I can assure you. He’s a person who feels things deeply, he’s someone who understands what it’s like to struggle with your personal demons and that’s why I’ve always related to him the most. He has a heart of gold and personally, I’ll have his back always. He didn’t have to be so kind to me but he was and I will never forget that.

So this is my story. This post was probably too long but I had to share these thoughts.

Jared, I know you don’t remember me but if you ever see this, thank you for being you, don’t ever change. I love you, man. #AKF

~Elena

#Jared Padalecki #jibcon #jibcon7 #jibcon5 #jibcon6 #long post #I love him to the moon and back #forever grateful #you've changed my world

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yoongs-yoongi · 5 years

Text

Or Was It?

Jungkook x reader

Summary: Jungkook getting head. Das it. Das the story.

Warning: cursing, smut, mouthfucking. adorable Jungkook.

A/N:I don’t think I’m cut out for smut but I keep trying lol. Happy 🎂 Jungkook!I hope you never find this!

Jungkook was having himself yet another sleepless night. He tossed and he turned, he even tried laying at the bottom of the bed. Nothing worked. Tonight was especially worse because Jungkook was sporting a hard-on.

He decided to rely on some good old fashion porn to allow himself some peace tonight, but in the midst of it all, the power went out. A thunderstorm no one knew was coming happened and knocked the power out, leaving poor Kook with a hard dick and his frustration.

He tried jerking off to memories and other pornos he’d seen, but that didn’t work, only made it worse.

“Ugh!” Jungkook hopped out of bed. Maybe a cold shower will help, he thought. He peeled his boxers off him and threw them in his dirty clothes hamper. Usually Jungkook would never walk around the house completely naked out of respect for you, his roommate. But you’re in your room sleep.

Jungkook was only going down the hall. He’ll be in and out, you won’t know a thing.

“Well good morning to you too.” Jungkook turned his head to see you at the kitchen table. You were eating a bowl of what he assumed to be cereal, you had your phone’s flashlight as your source of light.

“____!” He exclaimed.

“Jungkook.” You said simply, smiling.

“Wh-what are you doing up?”

“I could ask you and your friend the same question.” You cocked your head to the side. Jungkook gasped seeing as he still had his dick showing. He grabbed a nearby pillow to cover it up.

“Oh yeah, that’ll do the trick.” You giggled.

Jungkook paled, “What are you doing up!”

“I got hungry so I got up to get some cereal. You know the powers out?”

“Yeah I was made aware already.” Jungkook scoffed at the cruel memory of the storm blue balling him.

“You didn’t think to tell me? I ran into a freaking chair and crushed my pinky toe.”

“I was a little busy at the moment, and besides most people would have woken up when that big ass crackle of thunder sounded and shook the whole complex.”

“I think we’ve both figured out I’m not like most people.” You grabbed your bowl and finished of your milk.

“Well if you excuse me I’ll be in the shower... bathing.” Jungkook tried to ease towards the bathrooms.

“I could help you.” Jungkook turned back around with big eyes, “You know with your ‘bathing.’” You shrugged.

“I’m sorry what?”

“Did I stutter? I said I could help you with your dick.”

If it’s even possible Jungkook got paler. This situation was so bizarre that he didn’t know what to say. He just stood there looking at you. You sat there looking back, waiting for him to say something. When you realized he wouldn’t you spoke up. “A mouth is way better than cold water, plus I can’t have you stopping the drain up again.”

The light jab caused Jungkook to jab back, it was a reflex. You two are always bickering. “Like you’re hair doesn’t clog both sinks-what are you doing?” You were now on your knees in front of him.

“What you don’t want me to?”

“It-but-you…” Jungkook didn’t know what to say. If someone had told him his roommate of four years would be on her knees for him he wouldn’t believe it. Jungkook always assumed you thought of him as some bratty, little kid, you showed no interest in Jungkook at all. Which is why it was so normal for him to walk around the house ALMOST completely naked and the same for you.

“I can see the wheels turning in your head.” You laughed. “Relax, don’t think about too much.”

“Easy for you to say.” Jungkook scoffed.

“Just look at it as friends helping each other out.”

“How am I helping you out?”

“I’ve been so busy with school and work, I found myself in sexual drought. I need to see if I’m still the pro that I am.”

“So you wanna test that out on me? What if you’re not this pro you claim to be? What if you nip me with your teeth.”

Jungkook has had that happen before, he shivers randomly sometimes still thinking about it.

“Only one way to find out, right?” You removed the pillow from his hand, “Unless you don’t want me too..”

Your face was so close to his dick he could feel your breath on his tip. “I feel like I should be telling you no or something.”

“Are you telling me no?”

“No. I don’t know, I just don’t want this to be awkward, once we cross this line we can’t go back.”

“Then we won’t go back. I’ll just suck your dick from now on when you want me to, unless I’m not in the mood then your fucked.”

“You can’t say things like that to me. We’re roommates!”

“We share rent not solemn vows! Now do you want your dick in my mouth or not?”

Jungkook racked his brain. He looked back and forth between you and his dick. The tip began to drip precum, you watched it drop to the floor. “Tick tick, am I gonna suck your cock?”

Hesitantly, he nodded. Your lips broke into a twisted smirk. What has Jungkook got himself into? “Since you waited so long to decide I’m just gonna get to the point of this. You can enjoy my mouth some other time. We’ve got class in a couple of hours.”

You grabbed Jungkook dick and began to suck on the tip. Jungkook hips bucked forward making his deep go down your throat by accident. “S-sorry-oh fuck!” Jungkook tried to remove some of himself from your mouth but you kept him in place. Forcing his dick deeper down your throat. You’ve seen you’re share in dicks, but Jungkook takes the cake. Who knew this shy dork was harboring a package like this. He was well groomed, pink all over with delicious looking veins appearing around it, big and thick as shit. You’d gladly suck him dry.

You continued to take his dick into your mouth until your nose was pressed against his stomach. The fun didn’t stop there, you began to shake your head back and forth while swallowing around him.

“Fuck! Oh shit!” Jungkook grabbed the back of your head for some support. You pulled back just to the tip, and twirled your tongue around it. You popped your lips off him, “Fuck my mouth.” You held your hands behind your back, Jungkook grabbed your head, too far gone to care anymore, and shoved his dick back into your mouth and began thrusting. He started to twitch.

“I’m close! Fuck I’m so close! Yes- oh my god yes!” You took him all the way again and kept yourself pressed to his stomach. To speed up the process you began to hum around him, not a second later you could feel him shooting down your throat. Jungkook was panting heavily, he felt light headed.

“Jungkook?” Your voice was faint as darkness surrounded him.

The next morning Jungkook woke up in his bed. He wondered how he got back in he sure doesn’t remember putting himself to bed. Unless, what he thought happened last didn’t really happen and he just dreamt it. He looked under the covers, and realized it had been a dream. There on him were the same boxers he thought he took off last night.

He rubbed his face, “Damn it felt so real.”

He caught himself chuckling, “Of course it wasn’t real you idiot. Stuff like that only happens in the pornos.”

“Kook!” You barged in. “Wake up, I’ve got to be in class in 45 minutes. If you wanna ride, get up!”

“Alright, alright.” He peeled the covers back and got up. He looked all over his room for something clean to wear. “What’s up with your voice this morning?” He yawned picking up a shirt and some sweats. “You sound hoarse.”

“You fucked my throat raw last night, remember? Then you passed out on me. I had to help you back to bed. I guess I’m still a pro.” You winked . “Now hurry up!” You left out, closing the door. Jungkook was left standing there dumbfounded and horny all over again.

You came back in, “Oh and I made eggs.”

#jungkook x reader #bts fanfic #bts #bts jungguk #jeon jungkook #jeongguk #bts smut #jungkook smut

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bolbianddolanhouse · 4 years

Text

Book 3 FAQ!

Need to catch up? Heres all the previous FAQs 1 * 2 Heres the master post of all three books 1 * 2 * 3

Wow...you would think that with the whole pandemic that I’d get these chapters out faster. But alas this year got the best of me too. I’ve been a lil vulnerable in the tags with y’all and the check-in messages really touched me. So thank you very much to everyone that has checked up on me and enjoyed the chapters! I appreciate all of you :3 So lets roll out the questions!

Q: Who is Iwata based off? A: Iwata is based off my self-insert, which is also me. I know that sounds a lil narcissistic but it’s that real life reference that you’re a spitting image of your parent. Iwata was designed to look and act very similar to his mother based off that. What made him a little more original and not a copy of my self-insert is the tropes I added. I mirrored the trope of that of the relationship between Steven and his mom in Steven Universe; where he adored, then hated but then came to terms that he is not his mom but someone better. A whole journey of self-discovery and self-worth.

Q: The representation is amazing! How did you come up with these queer characters? A: Glad you liked them! Like I’ve said in previous FAQs and in the tags, all these characters were dreamt and I just build upon them in writing. So yes, most of my characters were created queer in my dreams but I make them more in depth by setting up how they discovered they’re queer. I did a bit of research on coming out stories and self-discovery epiphanies to have these characters more relatable so a fellow queer reader feels seen in a way. There’s already too much hetero works out there, I just want to gay it up in a respectful way.

Q: The culture mixing is really good and consistent, how do you do it? A: For starters, I am latina. But the culture mixing stems from my knowledge about other cultures through language. I’ve been studying Japanese for almost a decade now and Chinese for about 4 years, so it’s no surprise that I’m referencing them in my work. Maybe what I depict isn’t what other half-Japanese half-Latinx families do, but it’s what I’d do if I started such a family. Plus there’s some overlap within those cultures and it makes it easy to put into writing.

Q: So. much. drama! Why is this book more dramatic than the previous two? A: Book 3 is were main on-going plot gets picked up more and shows signs of resolution. In book 2, it was to focus on not only Lili and the family dynamic but to remind the reader that life moved on with little resolve for the self-insert character. Iwata has a HUGE role in the resolution but in his own special way. And I’m not saying the answer is love...but it’s leaning there.

Q: You reference specific food and snacks in this AU/ what are your favorite Cheetos? A: Like I said, I’m latina! Of course I write in the food of my home culture. Mainly the home cooked meals my mom would make for me and my siblings. It might not seem like much to the reader, but those simple meals add to the narrative of being home and traditions that help them embrace their mixed heritage. The reference of Cheetos are all over this AU because they’re my favorite hot chip. Naturally, my favorite Cheetos are the Hot con Límon with chamoy.

Q: Love that there’s no canon character deaths in this book so far, but are there any major deaths planned? A: Just one but it’s not a tragic, hero fallen type death. It’s a natural death but it’s gonna be a tear jerker. That death won’t come until the WAY end of this AU, so I’m not gonna spoil anything yet.

Q: Can’t believe you predicted Dabi’s true identity. A: It was obvious tho. I didn’t really predict anything canon if you’re an anime only for BNHA. In this AU (without spoiling too much) there’s no Endeavor redemption and Dabi doesn’t cause that big drama on live TV. So if you’re an Endeavor hater like me, you’re gonna love what I have in store for them in the next book!

Q: I love Tenya being a dad and loving husband in this AU! Will we see more dad moments? A: Glad you like those snippets of dad Tenya! I love writing them for my own indulgence since there isn’t enough love for this character in the fandom. Plus I see a whole lot of consistent readers are Iida-stans and that makes me want to write more married fluff whenever I can.

Q: Beizu is best boi/Who is Beizu based off of? A: Beizu is the genius trope in this book. I made his character a more chill version of his mom but with that ‘who is my dad’ trope. Beizu is part of a trio that’s to mirror the agent trio of Ita, Jin and Mimi. The third member is yet to be revealed but they’re a BIG plot device in the coming book. But Beizu is one of my favorite OCs, maybe I’ll do a ranking of my OCs when everyone is introduced.

Q: The villains and Hawks plot has me SHOOK! What’s going to happen to hero society when this case gets solved? A: Without spoiling it, the truth is going to expose the corrupt higher ups in hero society. The kids in the household has a part in taking down hero society as well but in their own, special way. Iwata has the biggest part in closing the case (but it’s spoiler if I say how), Lili and twins help tearing down minor things like education systems and laws. I will say though, the case gets resolved after the trio retires because Ita gets to return to America and found an heir to the company before they could draw to a conclusion. Which is a happy ending at the end of the storyline, no major deaths!

Q: Confirmed weddings? A: Yes :) because Lili and Iwata deserve good things and love. The twins have it easy in the coming book. Lili’s comes first and Iwata’s comes later than expected (can’t say why yet, gotta keep reading :3). I guess I can say that all of them get married but Lili’s and Iwata’s are the only queer ones. All the spouses that marry into the family take the Iida name, so Lili and Hanaka don’t change family names when they get married! Y’all already know those wedding chapters are gonna be lavish and take up most of the chapter, you’ll love them.

Q: But are the kids Joji stans? A: Oh jeez...they are the same way we like 80′s music. It’s pleasant to listen to but kinda cringe when you see your parents dance to it. I don’t really portray it, but the family digital library has all of Joji’s music in a playlist called ‘Sad hours Soundtrack’. If you ask Mr Muffins 2.0 who last listened to the playlist, they’ll snitch who and how many times it has been looped. That’s how Tenya knows who needs cheering up.

Q: I love the little references to their childhood, what else can you tell us about their pre-book childhood? A: As I said a few times in the tags, I cut a ton of stuff that isn’t relevant to the plot. Most of it was their childhood and how they manifested their quirks. Lili really liked to scream before she learned to talk, a very fast learner and at 3 years old got her engine quirk and later that year showed signs of a second quirk. Iwata was very quiet child, hardly cried or gets upset but latched on to mom a lot. His first words were in Spanish but struggled a bit with Japanese before entering kinder. Tensei was born first, then Hanaka followed 10 minutes later. Hanaka’s fire quirk manifested after the first breast feeding when she was getting burped by mom in the hospital. Mom likes to believe Tensei came out first to warn everybody that Hanaka can breathe fire. Tensei didn’t manifest his metal quirk until the age of 7, making him a very late bloomer. Though very different in personalities, Hanaka and Tensei get along and get very creative when it’s playtime. Up until the age of 5, mom would place Hanaka in kindling to get the BBQ grill or bonfire started. Hanaka has been known to randomly burst into flames as a baby, so Tensei had to sleep in a different crib for his safety. Tensei spent more time reading as a child because everyone was focused on managing Hanaka’s flames, thus making him a very studious boy.

Q: Not an AU question, but how are you doing?/ We don’t mind waiting for the chapters! Please take your time. A: I’ve been getting check ins and validation in my asks for the inconsistent schedule. Too many things came at me this year, both good and bad. I was doing well in speech and debate that I went to nationals and prepared myself for some serious competition, leaving no time to do chapters. Then I fell in and out of depressive episodes during lockdown where I’m from. In the summer my grandmother passed away from the virus in Mexico, then my beloved dog Mr Muffins passed away of old age. Those deaths hurt me and my family the most that I was having a hard time trying to cope plus trying to be responsible by adhering to CDC guidelines (I’m in the immune-comprised group). In my want to get over my grief, I trained and received my certificate in ordained ministry (yea I know that’s not the best first step, but I just needed to feel like I’ve achieved something being cooped up at home). I’ve very grateful that theres some readers that see the tags and check up on me. All your kind words gives me a little strength to write and finish every chapter at my pace.

Q: More art please? A: Yes :3 I have one coming up real soon! After the end of this book is where I’ll be releasing some art as a sort of place holder.

Q: Is the the estate drama eluding to the ending? A: Yup! And it will show up every now and then in the next book.

Q: This is a really good self insert AU! There’s complexity to your character and others...how do you write these interactions/relationships really close to actual ones? A: Thanks for the complement :3 When I first started this AU, I was in the middle of my semester of a creative writing course. Near the end of book 2 was when I finished the course work for it and by then you could see the progression in writing. ALSO, I’m a communications major as well! Writing these relationships and other social things were things that I remembered learning in my interpersonal communications class. I was a bit on fence on whether or not to start this AU because I didn’t think my writing skill was at all that good. With some encouragement from my classmates and friends, I pushed myself to write this whole AU out. I don’t plan on stopping until I finish the storyline, plus I hate leaving things unfinished.

And that wraps up this FAQ! Hopefully I got everyone’s questions since most were check-ins for me. But expect the last chapter for book 3 in the next few days. After Book 3, I’m going on a lil hiatus until the end of February. I have so many life events happening in the upcoming weeks that I’m gonna need time to recharge before resuming this AU. Y’all know I bounce back as promised, in the meantime, I have some art things queued to remind y’all that Book 4 is in the works. Only 2 more books to go! Thanks again for reading and I’ll talk you y’all again later in the tags~

-Love, Palma-sama

P.S. Heres the end of Book 3 for your connivence :3 other links are at the top of this post!

#mha #bnha #self insert au #not canon #FAQ 3 #Book 3 #ask me anything

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jungle321jungle · 5 years

Text

Foolproof Family

This one is the "most direct" sequel to to Forms of Family given a lot of talks about of the family situation, but it's not necessary to read that first if you haven't.

~~~~

Logan wasn’t sure how much time passed between when he had screamed for Dad and when Dad had come over and picked up the bawling Roman. But he knew it was less than a minute, maybe even less than thirty seconds. But in that short period of time, lots of things can happen.

In thirty seconds someone could order a coffee, change some batteries, fall off a swing.

And in thirty seconds someone could take his brother.

Roman falling. Roman crying. His shouting. Dad running. Dad holding Roman. Dad looking around. Dad shouting. Dad screaming. Dad running. All shouting. All crying. Police. Papa. Yelling. Nothing. Waiting. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Snapshots.

They were the only way Logan seemed to be able to make sense of the past few hours. No make sense wasn’t the right wording. Grasp? Not quite. Understand? No. Process? No. Explain? No. Accept? Hell no.

No words worked.

He supposed nothing should “make sense” when Patton was gone.

And the day had been going so well, it seemed almost laughable that it could plummet like this. Almost.

The park thankfully wasn’t too crowded, something the whole family was thankful for. It was made better by the niceness of the afternoon air and the fact that Dad had gotten out of working today so was able to spend time with them.

While park’s were nice enough, Logan always found it a bit boring, by this point he was a bit too big for most of the play structures but being the good big brother he was he would always follow Patton dutifully when asked. Things improved however when Henry had come bringing with him his little sister, Hazel. At their appearance Logan was grateful to have someone his own age to talk to and Dad had even agreed to watch her and Patton while the two boys hung out.

“Hey Logan?” Henry asked randomly.

“Hm?”

“Why doesn’t your brother walk or talk? Isn’t he like one?”

Logan followed his new friend’s gaze to where Patton and Hazel sat rolling a ball with Virgil, “He’s ten months.”

“Still.”

“Virgil was born really early,” Remus answered for him as he came over. “So now he’s behind other babies.”

“Babies typically begin to speak around six months,” Logan put in. “But the word typically means that it’s not always . It’s an average, Virgil simply falls further from it.”

His friend’s eyes watched him, but Logan focused on his baby brother as he hit the ball which rolled in Patton’s general direction. Patton reached forward and grabbed it before sending it rolling back to hit the baby’s leg causing him to laugh.

If Virgil could understand this game, how could anything possibly wrong with him?

“People just need to stop comparing him, and instead simply accept him for him,” he finished.

“I guess I’ve never thought about it that way,” Henry shrugged. “Hazel took a long time to talk according to Mom.”

“Can you come now?” Remus whined.

Logan looked back to him and gave an annoyed sigh, “You come over here every few minutes, what do you want?”

“We’re competing to see who can jump the highest off the swing! And we need a judge.”

Henry convinced him to be a judge, and after two rounds it looked like Remus would win. He had won the first easily, and then here on the second he had gotten even higher.

“If I don’t get it we’re doing three out of five!” Roman called as he swung.

“That’s not fair!” Remus called back. “If you lose, you lose!”

“Just jump Roman!” Logan told him.

“Not yet!” Roman yelled back.

He went back and forth a few more times before he launched himself off.

But Roman stumbled as he landed.

Rather than landing perfectly as he had before his foot slipped and he came crashing down falling flat. Logan stood for a moment as Remus asked if he had won before Logan heard Roman began to cry. Logan held back a comment (about how if Roman didn’t want to fall he shouldn’t have jumped in the first place) as he moved towards his brother. He sat Roman up and he shrunk back at the sight of his brother’s arm.

Logan was no doctor, but he was positive it shouldn’t bend the way it was.

“Dad!” He shouted loudly over Roman’s cries.

His tone of voice must’ve made it clear that something was wrong because it was then that Dad looked up, grabbed Virgil, said something to the two kids before running over. When he reached them he cringed at Roman before he handed Virgil to Logan and took Roman in his arms.

“That looks like it hurts,” Hazel commented unhelpfully from behind Henry.

“We need to go to a doctor for this,” Dad said quickly. “Logan can you get Virgil in the stroller? And Remus can you-”

“Dad?” Remus interrupted. “Where’s Patton?”

~~~~

The phone wouldn’t ring.

The police had said that if whomever had taken Patton wanted money, they would call. The police had left hours ago, and the phone hadn’t rang.

And at this point Logan doubted it ever would.

“You should put them to bed.”

The words caused Logan to look up from the book he wasn’t actually reading to Papa’s face. When Dad didn’t acknowledge him however he spoke again, “Put them to bed.”

Dad looked to where the twins had fallen asleep cuddled together on the couch, “They’re fine. I-I... I want them around right now.”

“Aren’t you selfish?”

Dad didn’t seem to have the heart to reply.

Papa gave a groan as he moved towards the twins and shook them awake, “Go to bed.”

Remus shook his head, “I wanna be awake when Patton comes home.”

Roman nodded in agreement.

“Go to bed,” He said again.

Neither moved and Logan watched as their eyes shifted to Dad, but Dad’s gaze had gone back to the ceiling above him. Finally they both stood and moved to the stairs and headed up.

“Logan put Virgil to bed,” Papa told him.

“I’m holding Virgil,” Dad interrupted.

“You don’t need to.”

“I do.”

“So you can protect him? Like you protected Patton?”

Dad’s gaze lowered long enough to give his future ex-husband a glare, “I might hit you if I don’t hold him.”

Papa gave a smirk, “Try it. I’d love to tell the Judge how you hit me. Maybe then he’ll give me custody.”

Logan reached for the remote and turned up the volume on TV as Dad responded, hoping the twins were already asleep.

~~~~

A lot of things can happen in eight years, and even more could change.

Logan could still remember the day he had first walked into the house which would become his home. The place was large and almost daunting as he climbed the stairs following after Dad. On the floor below he could hear Papa called to get them a dinner reservation to celebrate.

Dad had opened the door to the room- his room and Logan had stepped inside his mouth dropping open as he did. He had been four then, and the room had seemed huge, or maybe it was without the Twins’ bunk beds. It had been covered in a galaxy theme, and it was in that moment he knew how much the two of them cared for him because he had never mentioned wanting to be an astronaut, but somehow they had figured it out along the way.

“Do you like it?” Dad had asked, worry in his voice.

Logan had looked back at him with big eyes, “This is really my room?”

Dad had given him a look which Logan now could recognize the same one he gave when ever Patton or Virgil had done something cute. “It’s all yours Lo.”

Logan had launched himself forward to hug him, his small arms not reaching very far. Dad had laughed and picked him up holding him tight- welcoming him home.

“Excuse me,” Papa stated with mock offense coming in the room. “I want a Logan hug!”

He had been smiling- all three of them were smiling as they had a family hug. The first of many to follow over the years.

Before they would stop altogether.

When had been the last time Papa had hugged him? Had told him that he loved him- and meant it? The day he left? No, if he meant it then he would’ve come back.

He wouldn’t have left Dad alone with five kids and no support.

He would’ve called to tell them goodnight like he used to.

He would’ve called when Patton was sick.

He would’ve shown up when Virgil was in the hospital.

And he’d care when CPS or a Judge wasn’t around.

If he loved them... then maybe he would still be Logan’s role model...

~~~~

The sound of breaking glass, followed by a shout jolted Logan awake.

He rubbed at his eyes and squinted at his clock, close to 6 am.

“Logan?” A tired voice asked.

“Go back to sleep Remus,” Logan replied grabbing his glasses.

He made his way out of his room and moved toward the stairs listening, but below he could only hear the soft TV chatter and angered whispers.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs and made his way to the kitchen. They must’ve heard him coming because all whispers had stopped. When he entered the room Dad looked up from where he was sitting trying to dry up a mess of broken liquid amongst broken glass- the coffee pot?

“Sorry, did I wake you up?” He asked.

Logan nodded, “The twins are still asleep.”

“Good.”

The man looked like he hadn’t slept, Logan would’ve been more surprised if he had.

“Are you gonna clean up your mess or leave it there?”

Papa stood in the corner of the kitchen, holding a mug of coffee as he watched the morning news... Patton’s story was on again. Logan stared at his brother’s smiling face on the screen until Dad stood to block his view. He moved passed Logan going out into the hall most likely to grab the broom.

“You’re not going to go back to sleep?” Papa asked him.

Logan shook his head as he sat down at the table, “I don't think I could.”

He nodded slowly, “I guess that’s fair.”

“I dreamt about you,” Logan said quietly. He turned his gaze to the table, unsure why he was even telling him this. “About the day you both brought me home... and things that happened recently.”

“Okay.”

“Why did you come?” Logan asked him.

Papa looked away from the TV, but his eyes didn’t meet Logan’s as he watched as Dad walked back in the room and began to sweep up the broken glass. “He’s my son too.”

“He’s your son when you want him to be,” Logan corrected. “You’re only here when you want to be. Not when you’re needed, so why are you here now? Or are you just here because the police would suspect you otherwise?”

He gave a sigh as he came closer and sat down in the chair beside Logan, “There are things a middle schooler like you can’t understand yet.”

Logan found the courage to look him in the eye, “I think I understand more about family than you.”

“That’s enough,” Dad interrupted.

Papa rolled his eyes and looked back to the screen. The news had moved on to another story, so he changed the channel.

~~~~

The house had filled.

First it had been the news who asked for multiple statements from his parents and from the police. When they had finally died down, Dad’s concerned friends and other parents all came to comfort him and calls from family kept coming in.

But still there was no word on Patton.

Logan tried to keep his thoughts on what he would do when Patton finally came home. Hug him tightly for sure. Give him all his favorite snacks, do everything the five year old wanted, and tell him how much he loved him. But as much as he tried to focus on what would happen when his brother came back, Logan’s mind inevitably went to the same picture.

A small and skinny little boy, his glasses askew and broken, his legs tucked tightly in his chest as he stared up at a dark space in fear of something. Sometimes the image would progress playing out different scenarios each one worse than the last.

Patton had to be okay. He needed to be okay.

Because if he wasn’t... He had lost his birth parents, and he had more or less lost one of his fathers... he couldn’t lose his brother too.

“Logan?”

The gentle tone pulled Logan out of his mind and he looked up to see a man before him. He was the husband of one of Dad’s friends, Logan recalled though he couldn’t remember which.

“Your Dad wants you in the other room.”

When he went to the other room he paused to see Dad with Roman sitting on his lap, with Virgil on Roman’s. It’s something Papa would used to take a picture of. Instead however he sat his eyes glued on the TV which played some kids show as Remus watched beside him. The rest of the room was occupied by guests who moved to let him by as he made his way to his Dad.

“You wanted me?”

Dad looked up as he approached. “I need you to eat something.”

“I ate.”

Dad gave him a slight smile, “I need you to eat something today.”

Logan crossed his arms with a huff, “I’m not hungry.”

“And that’s exactly why you need to eat something. But how about instead of nothing or a full meal we compromise and you eat a piece of fruit- and I don’t mean a single grape.”

“...Two grapes?”

“How about an apple or banana? Better yet, how about both?”

“Fine,” Logan sighed, he supposed he walked into that.

~~~~

CPS came later in the day.

And when they did all their guests filed out. The house which had been loud yet solemn now seemed as empty and hollow as it truly was without Patton. Their distracting presence had allowed him to distance himself ever so slightly, but he wasn’t allowed that luxury anymore.

They came with the detective and an officer and once again the same questions were asked to the family.

“Do you like it here Logan?”

Logan gave the woman a frown, “Yeah. And what does that have to do with finding my brother?”

She gave him a practiced smile, “I’m just trying to ensure that the rest of you boys are okay. So do you mind if I ask a few other questions?”

“Alright.”

She nodded and glanced down to the notebook in her lap, “Can you tell me how things are with your dads?”

Logan gave a shrug as if it would push off everything uncomfortable he was feeling. “Things are good when it’s just Dad. But whenever Papa is around he yells at him for doing nothing wrong.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

“Annoyed? Papa left us, a while ago but suddenly he’s here all the time to mess things up. I think it should be one or the other, stay or go. But Dad wants him gone, so go.”

“Do they ever argue in front of you guys?”

“Sometimes. Dad tries not to, though.”

“How do you think your brothers feel about it?”

“No one likes it.”

She opened her mouth to speak again when a soft knock sounded on the bedroom door before one of the officers stepped in. He made his way over to her and moved to say something in her ear when a crackle came over the radio at his hip.

“A lead is currently being followed up with over on-”

The rest had been cut off as he hit something, but Logan had heard enough.

A lead.

Logan didn’t know two words could spark so much hope and joy into a single person- much less himself.

“You know where he is?” Logan asked the man.

“Something’s being looked into... it’s not positive yet,” was the awkward reply.

Positive or not, Logan’s heart swelled with a bit of hope and he couldn’t stop the smile growing on his face.

Patton would come home.

It was whispers between adults which deflated that bit of hope he had.

It was always their whispers wasn’t it? They never wanted to tell Logan anything straight out, they didn’t want to hurt him. But it was those whispers which seemed to hurt even more.

He didn’t look away from the iPad screen he had been staring at, Dad had let him have it to play music but despite the earbuds in his ears he had been so lost in thought that he had forgotten to put anything on. Until Patton’s name had pierced his subconscious... and with it the bad news. The lead had been nothing more than wasted efforts and time placed in the wrong path.

When the whispers stopped he had glanced up long enough to watch as Dad receded to staring back up at the ceiling with Virgil in his arms. Logan felt the need to say something, but no words formed on his tongue. Instead his eyes fell to the iPad which he unlocked, and forced himself to hit play.

But it didn’t really block out the sound of Dad’s sobs.

~~~~

Logan had stood at the front door for a few minutes watching him before he found himself able to speak, “Why do you hate Dad?”

The man looked up from his beer to glance at Logan before he looked back out at seemingly nothing in particular, “Why aren’t you-”

“Answer me,” Logan insisted sitting beside him on the porch stair. “Why do you hate Dad? And why did you leave us?”

“Damien and I weren’t getting along anymore,” Papa said with a simple shrug. “I want to live my life my way and he didn’t agree with my way.”

“You couldn’t meet in the middle?”

“No.”

There was a pause and Logan wrapped his arms around himself silently wishing he had on a jacket while he watched his Papa. Logan allowed him another long swig before speaking. “You didn’t answer my second question.”

“Didn’t I?”

“Why did you leave us?”

“I told you, Damien and I don’t get along. He’s just so fu- freaking-”

“There’s a difference between leaving Dad and leaving me !” Logan shouted sharply. There was a short pause before he looked away, his fingers digging into the thin fabric of his shirt.

“Don’t worry Mr. Astronaut, I’ll be back from my trip in a week.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. And I’ll call you everyday, okay?”

“Okay.”

“And can you do me a favor while I’m gone? Take care of your Dad for me?”

“I will!”

“You ready to meet your little brother?”

“Uhuh.”

“You look a little nervous to me.”

“What if Patton doesn’t like me?”

“Well I’m pretty sure Patton likes everyone, but I’m positive he’ll think you’re awesome.”

“Really?”

“Really. And hey, I think you’re awesome.”

“You’re have to say that, you’re my Papa.”

“And I always will be... but regardless, I wouldn’t lie to you Logan.”

“You never even called us,” Logan continued quietly. “We had to call you and you barely answered... we-we thought you were coming home.”

“I needed some space from Damien.”

“You still could’ve picked us up from school or something Dropped us off then left again. Something!”

“...I didn’t think he’d appreciate my presence.”

Logan watched his Papa in disbelief, “And when Virgil was in the hospital?”

He gave a sigh, “It’s more complicated than you can understand.”

“Try me.”

“Go get ready for bed Logan.”

“I have one more question.”

“What?”

“What does your boyfriend think about all this?”

The man’s eyes narrowed on Logan’s face, and Logan didn’t miss as the beer can bent slightly in his grip. “Go get ready for bed.”

Logan didn’t protest.

~~~~

“Logan can you do something for me?”

Logan looked up at his Dad in surprise, but his father’s gaze was focused on the sandwiches he was making. “What?”

“I understand you're mad at him... but can you stop questioning him?”

“Why?” Logan asked slowly. “I’ve never had a chance to ask him before.”

“I know, I know, but I don’t think the timing is right. Everyone is scared, worried, stressed, tired... I don’t know if this is the best idea right now.”

“I’ll stop when he answers me,” Logan replied crossing his arms. “I just want to know why he doesn’t want to be my Papa anymore.”

Dad gave a sigh as he set down a sandwich, “He does Logan. He just doesn’t want me around. And I’m sorry to put you and your brothers in the middle, but we’re gonna figure it out.”

“It’s not your fault, it's his . All he needed to do was call. To call and to come to when we’re sick, to go the twins soccer games, or the school play. To do the things he used to! ...If he cares why did he stop?”

“...It’s complicated.”

“Don’t lie.”

Another sigh, “I don’t know. But I know he cares.”

“I don’t.”

Dad didn’t say anything more.

~~~~

Shaking woke Logan.

He cracked open his eyes to find his glasses had been removed from his face, but he could see the blurry form his brothers and fathers before him.

“Get up Logan!” came Remus’ voice as he continued to shake him. “We’re meeting Patton at the hospital!”

Patton was asleep when they got there.

The twins wanted to wake him, but Dad wouldn’t let them. Quite frankly Logan was sure Dad wanted to do the same, he wanted to after all.

They hadn’t been there long before a detective entered with a man Logan didn’t recognize.

“I’m sorry!” the man said quickly. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize she was that sick. I’m sorry.”

At confused looks the detective began to explain, “This is Mr. Hart. He and his wife are your son’s biological parents... And she was the one who took him.”

“I’m sorry,” Mr. Hart said again and as he did, Logan found himself unnerved by the way he could the similarities to his brother in the man’s hair and eye shape. “I just got home from work after a few days and found Marie with him. She said she saw him in the park and just knew it was him... I-I convinced her to go shopping and once she left I brought him to the police station. I’m so sorry.”

Dad stood slowly a small smile on his lips, and he grabbed the man’s hands in his. “Thank you so much.”

He shook his head, “I don’t deserve that. But... he’s okay right?”

“Yes, the doctor said he just hadn’t really eaten. He’s okay.”

“He won’t be mentally,” Papa put in not looking away from Patton’s sleeping form.

“I’m sorry,” Mr. Hart said again taking back his hands and shoving them in his pockets.

“She had him for days,” Papa continued standing. “Why would you be gone that long?”

“I drive a truck,” He explained awkwardly. “I’m gone a few days at a time. I wish I had a different job, but this is the only thing I’m decent at... If I could do something else maybe we wouldn’t have lost him to the system in the first place...” He gave an awkward cough, and stepped back toward the door. “I shouldn’t be here. But I am really sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t change anything.”

The man nodded grimly, “I know.”

“That wasn’t needed,” Dad chided when Mr. Hart had left.

Papa didn’t seem apologetic, “They lost him because of negligence in the first place, right?”

Dad shook his head as he took back his seat at Patton’s bedside. He ran a hand through Patton’s hair gently, “The past doesn’t matter. The fact that he’s right here does.”

Patton had barely woken before Logan found himself squeezing his brother tightly.

“Move Logan!” Roman shouted climbing onto the bed to join in the hug.

“Both of you move!” Remus put in.

None of them had, but Dad and Papa had grabbed all four of them tightly between the two of them.

“I’m sorry,” Patton cried form in between them. “My mom looked just like the picture! I didn’t want to go with her though!”

“It’s okay,” Dad told him. “It’s okay.”

It wasn’t the family hug Logan had been craving, but he supposed it would have to do. Patton was back, and that was more than good enough.

~~~~

“Bye.”

Papa looked up, probably surprised that Logan had followed him out to his car. “More questions?” He sighed.

Logan shook his head.

“Then go back in the house, you’ll catch a cold.”

“Bye,” Logan told him again.

Papa raised an eyebrow, but nodded once, “I’ll call.”

Logan doubted that he would, but he nodded back. Quite frankly even if he did call, Logan wasn’t sure he’d want to answer. If the past few days had taught him anything (besides emphasizing the whole stranger danger thing) was that his family meant everything to him, and that if his Papa didn’t want to be apart of it then he wasn’t going to force him- it only made them both more upset than they already were.

“Bye,” he said again as the car pulled away.

“Logan! Come get a coat!” Dad called from inside.

“I’m fine!” he called back.

“I’m not going back to the hospital!”

Logan shook his head as he gave a chuckle as he turned back to his house, looking back only once. “Bye.”

If so much could happen in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year... It only made sense that eight years had been a long time, so it was susceptible to so many changes. Those good and bad and those moments like this one in the middle of the spectrum. Logan knew it wasn’t good for his heart to completely cast away one of the men who had raised him, but he knew it would be more painful to be hurt further down the road.

So, goodbye to the man, and goodbye to that relationship.

Logan took a deep breath, feeling oh so relaxed at the simple word.

“Goodbye.”

#logan sanders #deciet sanders #dad!dee #dad!deciet #dad!au #dadee #dadciet #roman sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #baby virgil #ex #singleparent!deceit #kidnapping #kidfic #kid logan #thingsssssssssss

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awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands · 5 years

Text

I’m going to be at your side Chapter 3

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

A/N: English is not my first language so please feel free to correct me. Also first time writing Slaxl.

TW: past abuse and mentions of suicide attempt

Axl was enjoying the silence that sleep brought him : only in those moments he could stop worrying about everything, shut the voices in his head and block the terrible memories. But he didn’t considered the nightmares. Stupid fucking nightmares that came back to haunt him randomly, making him almost believe that he could have escaped from them.

It was so ironic how his mind could perfectly reproduce his traumatic experience, even the smallest details that he swore have forgot.

He was barley eleven listening rock music in his room. He knew that he shouldn’t have done that, but there was nobody at home so nothing could happen, right? And music was my only escape.

Wrong. He was always so wrong in all his life, at every age.

Suddenly he heard that the door was unlocked and he tried as quickly as he could to turn off the music :maybe it was only his mum but better be safe than sorry. Or better be safe then dead on the floor. But when the footsteps were getting closer and closer to his door, he knew he was screwed; there was never a way to get out, he was trapped in those damn walls everytime.

He could remember how when the door swung open he always smellt two thing: cigarette and tons of cologne to cover it. He still remember how he could recognize the sound of Stephan’s walk or the taste of blood in his mouth; but the sight was the worst, because he can pinpoint every movement his stepfather made.

Still to this day he hates his mind for remembering all of those details and flashing them to him in the craziest way. He hates how it takes a single sound, image or even smell to take him back there, to hell.

He couldn’t do nothing but jumping at the suddenly noise. He knew that showing his weakness meant a worse beating, but he was just a child.

“How many times I’ve told you to not listen to this demoniac music?” he screamed everytime. Or if it was not the music, it was his behavior; anything was wrong with him not matter what and he still believes that to this day.

“I-I’m s-sorry, s-sir” he replied because fighting back would have meant more pain.

Then Stephan closed his hand on his wrist and dragged him away from his room; the feeling of the hands on his wrist, how he could feel his bones almost break due the strong grip, still makes him shake. He would always take him to a dark closet, so nobody could have seen him. Nobody but God. But Stephan always thought his son was bad inside and that he was doing what God wanted, so it didn’t matter.

Sometimes the impact with the floor made him stopping breathing; but that was just the beginning.

Fists, kicks, slaps and every other thing is meant to cause pain was thrown. That time he thought he could have died because he was going on forever and there was no way in hell that his body could take that much; but eventually he stopped and Axl survived.

That was the key word: surviving, not living. Because he had forgotten what meant actually leaving long ago and he just tried to keep himself live to find that meaning back. Until the night before when he gave up.

But there was also screams. So many loud screams that made him flinch and that always will; screams full of insults and treats almost as painful as the beatings. He would begged him to stop in his mind, too scare to say that out loud.

Axl’s eyes snapped open while the screams were still echoing in his ears. His heart was beating so fast he thought that it could just break his chest. He felt like something was sucking all the air in his lungs and he could feel something soft in his hands : Slash was sleeping, his head resting on the side of the bed, his curly hair in Axl’s hands. Confused he looked around and saw all the sheets tangled; he must have turned a lot in his sleep.

He wanted almost to laugh about how the guitarist was still sleeping even if he could hear his own breathing getting faster and loud at every second and his body trembling so much that the bed was starting to shake; he was just having a panic attack but he didn’t want to wake up the other man because he knew that he had to be exhausted due what he did last night.

So many thoughts were floating in his mind and he started thinking that he would have died there or at least losing all the little control he had. He always found a way to fuck things up, even when he had just survived a suicide attempt and now Slash would have woke up and saw the real Axl, the crazy one that is always there but nobody wants to see.

He closed his eyes but he could hear a voice far away.

“Axl, Axl Just calm down. C’mon breathe with me” the voice said and he sounded just like Slash. But he couldn’t look, he couldn’t do anything.

Slash decided to go right in front of the redhead singer when he saw that he was not responding; he knew that the other man was having an hell of a panic attack. He took Axl's hand in his and squeezed it, trying to let Axl know that he was here and to help him grounding.

“Ax, hey can you look at me, please?” Slash mumbled, careful to not raise his voice.

Axl slowly lifted his head and looked Slash in the eyes : Saul could see the tears stained Axl’s cheeks and his lips quacking while he continued to trembling and crying, his breathing still irregular.

“Can-can I hug you?” Slash asked softly and Axl wanted so much to say no because he didn't want to be this weak in front of his Slash, he didn’t want to be a fucking tragedy but he felt like he was falling into pieces and only the guitarist could have kept him together; so the decided to nod.

Slash took him into his arms and started to rubbed his back with one hand while with the other he continued to hold Axl’s one.

“Everything you saw was not real. You are not there, I’m here with you and nothing is going to hurt you” Slash said trying to calm the redhead.

“It’s real. He was there, he’s going to find me, to hurt me” Axl continued to whisper and the guitarist understood that whatever Axl dreamt about was not a nightmare but rather a memory.

“He not going to hurt you anymore, I swear Axl. He has to pass on my dead body before he could lay a finger on you.” Slash said trying to sound convincing but also calm and sweet.

“Why are you doing this? First you save me when I told you I didn’t want it and now this. Why?” Axl asked still sobbing.

“Because I care about you, I could never let you die!” Slash said biting his lips to try to not sound angry or to raise his voice.

“But why do you care about me? I’m such... s-such a b-burd-den to everybody, how can you…” Axl stopped trying to fight the tears.

“Because I love you “ Slash said and as soon as the words came out of his mouth, he covered it with an hand. Fuck Slash, you stupid fucker. How can you have just told him that in this situation? He has already enough shit to deal with and now you’re just adding more.

Saul continued to curse himself internally: you can’t profess your undying love to your best friend who is currently lying on an hospital bad because he tried to kill himself and after he had a panic attack. What kind of monster was he? Now he just made Axl even more confused and terrorized. He did exactly the opposite of what Izzy have told him not to do.

On the other hand, Axl looked at the other man completely shocked : he wasn’t sure if Slash was being honest or not but his mind was too confused and overwhelmed to read emotions. He saw how the guitarist was terrified and he wasn’t sure about his feelings. He didn’t want to hurt him, because apparently he can only do that, but at the same time he didn’t want to give him false hope. He was stuck but he had to give the other man an honest explanation, so he tried to put his thoughts together.

“Slash”

The younger man had his gaze fixed on the floor, little whimpers coming for his mouth.

“Saul” the name rolled strangely on Axl’s tongue and the other man looked towards the singer, his eyes a bit puffy and some tears at the corners of his eyes.

“Axl, shit I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, not in this moment. Fuck I swear I didn’t want to push you, but I was so afraid of losing you that I couldn’t control myself. I”

“Slash, calm down” Axl said quietly interrupting the other man’s train of words. He tried to soften a bit his features so Slash could calm down. “ I’m not mad at you but..”

“But you’re not feeling the same way” Slash finished.

“No. But I’m too confused or overwhelmed to understand what I feel. I-I”

The red head was biting his bottom lip, trying to express his feeling. Definitely not his favorite hobby

“I feel something for you and it’s more than friendship but I don’t know what it is and it scares me, because you’re so good and pure and I want to be as close as possible to you, I want you to hold my hand but I don’t think I can be in a relationship right now. I just need time, please.” he said the last word almost in a whisper, he was not the one to beg people.

Slash looked at him and his mouth curved in a soft smile. He asked Axl if he could have taken his hand and when he nodded, the curly man grab it and started to rub circles on it.

“I love you Axl and I always will. I totally understand it, fuck If I had controlled myself better I wouldn’t never said that now, but I did and I mean it. So I will be here, by your side, everyday keeping loving you until you feel comfortable to express your feelings.” Slash almost wanted to puke at his own sappy replay but he knew that Axl deserved all the love and all the understanding in this moment.

Axl looked at him, studying Slash face and felt something inside. But soon that beautiful sensation was replaced by the too familiar voices in his head.

How can you deserve him? He’s so sweet and good and you are rotten, broken and bad. You will just poison him and make him become the same as you. You don’t deserve him.

“I don’t deserve you” Axl said starting to cry again.

“Why are you saying this?” Slash said looking at him confused and hurt.

Axl just closed his eyes, tears silently spilling from them.

“Hey, look at me Axl.” Slash said and wiped with his thumb the redhead’s tears. “ You’re right you don’t deserve me because you deserve so much more. And anyone who told you differently in all this years is just a prick and they have to hope to not cross path with me, ever.

Axl looked the guitarist in the eyes and he felt his mind stopping for a second. He decided to squeeze Slash’s and slowly resting his head on the other man’s shoulder.

They stayed like that for several minutes, completely silent, their now steady breaths the only thing they could hear. Axl closed his eyes again, still tired and tried to fall to sleep again but he could feel Slash’s gaze burning him; he knew that the brunette was thinking and he simply didn’t want to deal with that in that moment. That was a little piece of heaven in a life full of hell and even though he knew he had to tell me one day, now he was not ready.

“I know what are you thinking” he redhead whispered and Slash looked at him confused.

“What?”

“You are thinking why I did what I did. But I can’t tell you, at least now. There’s so much shit Slash, I don’t want that to bury you and I can’t talk about it without getting buried myself. And I can’t even tell you if I’m going to be okay.” Axl said opening his eyes only to look at the window.

“I get it, don’t worry. I’ve already told you that I’m gonna stay here at your side and that is not going to change. But now go back to sleep because you look like shit” Slash replied smiling a bit but still worried about Axl’s words.

The singer just flipped him off and laid on the bed again.

“Can you keep that promise starting right now by sleeping here with me?” Axl asked looking Slash into the eyes and the other man just nodded laying down next to him.

“Everything is going to be okay” Slash whispered while Axl was drifting to sleep.

And the singer didn’t care if that was true or not, if he was dead or alive, if we was going to make it or not.

He had Slash and just for this little moment he wanted to think only about the man who he had feelings for.

#slaxl #axl rose #slash #guns n roses #guns n roses fanfic #fanfic #angst #angst with fluff #angst with a happy ending #saul hudson

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funkzpiel · 5 years

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Maybe a Ghost, but Probs Not?

I recently started listening to a podcast about paranormal stories average people have experienced. Personally I vary in my belief about the paranormal, but I really enjoy listening to stuff about it (shocker, right?). I’m generally a “there’s probably a reasonable explanation, but there’s also plenty we still don’t know about the world” sort of person. Interested, but skeptical and cautious. As I’ve been listening though, it’s slowly reminded me of some things that surprised me to realize I had forgotten. I decided to write one of them down, just to kind of explore the memory again. In all honesty, it’s easily explainable as so many stories usually are, but I thought maybe someone might find it interesting. Any time I mention a name though, it’s worth saying that I changed it for their privacy. Story, for any who are interested, below:

You see, when I was in late elementary school / early middle school, a close friend moved out of the neighborhood that she and I had both grown up in. She didn’t move far – just across the road to another subdivision of somewhat smaller houses. Her parents had just split up, you know how the story goes, I don’t really want to expose their family too much here. Her family and mine were really tight though. We did everything together.

My family obviously volunteered to help them move into their new house. The house itself wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. It had no weird vibe if you were just looking at it from the street. Just a regular two-story home with three bedrooms. One for her mom, one for her and one for her brother who lived with multiple different ailments since birth that had left him requiring constant care. When you first walked into the house, the stairs were directly on the left and led to a thin hallway that spanned the width of the house. The first bedroom closest to the stairs was my friend’s room, then at the end of the hall was the master bedroom right next door to her brother’s bedroom, in case he ever needed help during the night.

Most of the day was pretty benign. We carried boxes out of one house, onto a truck, then into their new house like any other move. It took a long time, since her mom also had to watch her brother, so it was a mixture of my mother, friend and I handling a lot of the smaller boxes while my brother and his friend helped with larger furniture. It was a long day, but I still can remember how it ended quite clearly.

I was carrying another box of toys to her brother’s room. I set it down just as her mother called up that it was quitting time and we were all going to go out for dinner, which was of course exciting after such a long day. I put the box down and quickly went back into the hallway, heading for the stairs. The lights were out and the sun was just beginning to hit that magic hour that casts everything in that hazy, warm dusk light. As I passed my friend’s room, I saw it aglow as the fading sun lit up the garishly pink walls the previous home owners had left behind. It left her room looking a bit dusty and cloudy just from the way the sun was filtering in from the dark pink, wooden blind slats.

I saw my friend kneeling on the floor in the middle of the room, going through one of the boxes. It’s worth saying I didn’t stop and look directly at her. I saw her in that way you do when you pass a room. Someone was there in the corner of my eye, silhouetted from the dying sun. Obviously, it had to be my friend. I didn’t think anything of it.

I said, “Come on, it’s dinner time,” as I passed and excitedly turned the corner and went down the stairs without another thought.

My friend was already at the front door. Everyone was already at the front door.

It’s a moment that still stands crystal clear in my mind even as a lot of my childhood has slowly become fuzzy. It was the first time that something I had seen on TV – something that I never thought possible, never worried about – happened in real life. Of course, being an excitable (and scared) kid, I told them about it. Something I feel a little guilty about to this day. I got to go home. I got to sleep in a bed I wasn’t worried about. My friend was stuck in a house that she had just been told, hours into moving, might have a ‘ghost’. Over the years I’ve always wondered… if I had not said anything, would they have noticed the small things that followed? Would they have worried about the mac n cheese boxes that would fall off pantry shelves or the sound of that old, old keyboard typing at night when no one was downstairs? Would the motion-sensor singing fish in her brother’s room scare them like it did whenever it started singing randomly for no reason? Small things that, had the thought never been planted, they might not have thought anything of. Had I been the cause of some of their fear, all because I thought I saw my friend in her room when no one had been upstairs?

They eventually moved out of that house. I never had another experience in it, myself.

But I did have another experience related to it. And this time, I wasn’t the only one.

Years later, in my senior year of high school, I had a dream. In the same way that I wrote off the first experience, the second one could easily be explained as a simple dream. But I’ve always found it worth telling, or at the very least interesting. It is, after all, related to the house and that little girl.

In this dream, I was with that group of friends that I knew back when my friend lived in that house. We were just kids again, playing in the street as we always used to do. As I walked down the front steps of the house, I realized I had left my shoes inside, so I rushed back in to get them. Halfway up the stairs, time became tricky. I was still young and yet somehow aware that it had been a long time since I had been in the house. It still had all its furniture, but the decorations that had made it my friend’s home were gone. The lights were out, and it was hazy once more from the dusk sun as it had been that first day. I didn’t even make it upstairs before the thought occurred to me, “Oh right, this place is haunted. I never wanted to come back here.”

I turned tail and rushed back down the stairs and out the door. But when I tried to close the door behind me, it stopped just a few inches short of the door frame as though something or someone had grabbed the handle at the last second from the other side. I turned, unable to stop myself. The door opened and she was there. A girl in a night dress. I don’t remember a lot of details about her. Like the first time I had seen her, her form was clear – a young girl my friend’s age, tall and willowy like she had been, with long light brown hair – but small details were lost in a silhouette haze. All I can remember is that the moment I saw her, I was certain of two things: it was the same girl I had seen in my friend’s bedroom and she was not happy that I had been gone so long.

I screamed so hard I woke up choking. I didn’t go back to sleep that night, but I didn’t think anything of it other than the fact that I had a nightmare and somehow old memories had gotten tangled up in it as brains so strangely do sometimes. I didn’t mention it to my mom right away.

Mostly because my mom beat me to it.

A day or two after, my mom was talking to me as we were making dinner and she very casually said, “Oh by the way, Ms. Smith called today.”

She said it in that light way people do, sometimes, when you suddenly hear from someone you had once been really close to but had lost touch with for a long time after they move away – excited, although a little surprised. She told me how my friend and her brother were doing well and loved where they had moved to. But it was the reason why my friend’s mom had called that unsettled me. It is the only reason why even now, after all these years, I sometimes wonder what truly happened in that house. If it wasn’t just imagination.

“Yeah, you won’t believe why she called. Evidently your friend told her the other morning that she had a dream about you. You were back in the house – you know, the one they moved to in the neighborhood across the road. She doesn’t know why you were in the house or why she wasn’t. Just that you were. But here’s the kicker. Her mom had the same dream the same night. Weird, right?”

The night that they had this shared dream was the same night I had my own.

Since then, I haven’t dreamt of the little girl or the house since. I don’t even live in the same city anymore.

Like this moment, I sometimes remember others; unrelated to the house, usually small and benign and explainable, sometimes not. Often times, I forget how many of them I’ve had until I start listing them, until I see just how many there actually have been. But each, except one, has been small enough to write off. A sleep paralysis that left me choking, a nightmare that left me with a bruise, a figure in the hallway, another I still don’t like to speak about… things like that. Experiences of sleep paralysis are well documented as a natural occurrence in some people, thankfully I haven’t had too many. A nightmare could easily coax the body into accidentally hurting itself. The figure was probably a trick of the eyes. The girl in my friend’s bedroom was probably just a little girl’s imagination. And the last one… I was probably just tired.

But there’s always just enough to leave me wondering:

What if?

#Ghost Stories #but you know probably not #ignore this #it's worth saying this was a long ass time ago #looooong ass time

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coeurdastronaute · 7 years

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Essays in Existentialism: Kiwi

Prompt– famous celebrity/musician clarke or lexa, your choice, decides to try tinder randomly just for shits and giggles. On the other end, normal person clarke/lexa, sees their profile, decides that they’re clearly a catfish and decides to swipe right just to see what happens. Aka when the person you’re sure is a catfish actually ends up being the real deal.

“I need a cigarette.”

“You’re on in three.”

“Just enough time.”

The manager wanted to argue, but she heard the familiar ding of a Zippo and she rolled her eyes before going back inside with a dramatic flourish. Grateful for the quiet, the singer tugged the collar of her coat up a little tighter and inhaled before adding more clouds with her smoke.

The past few weeks were nothing more than a blur and a dream of appearances and performances. These moments were stolen and perfect, though much too short. She asked for it, though. She wanted it, and she knew what all came with it.

On the old loading dock of a radio station in downtown, the singer inhaled at the nicotine greedily, and prepared herself for what she was about to do. Despite all of the knowing, there was still a distinct dissonance between who she pretended to be, and who she actually was. Being interviewed never made her comfortable, and she was a certified hermit, but for the rest of the world, she wasn’t.

“Oh, God! It’s you!” a voice appeared and ruined it, causing the leather-clad artist to groan slightly to herself. “I’m sorry. I was just… I smoke out here sometimes when it's too cold for the back parking lot.”

“Sorry I took your spot,” she grinned, the character coming out quickly, and almost frighteningly so.

“No, no, it’s fine. I mean you’re… you’re… you’re Lexa Woods,” the girl explained, as if it were news to the musician. “I saw you play three years ago at the Garden. It was amazing.”

“Thank you. I really should be going though.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Can I give you a light?” Lexa paused, digging her lighter out of her pocket again after tossing the cigarette butt towards a near-empty dumpster.

The clouds were thick and heavy, while the cold was annoying and painful. The back dock smelled like wet garbage, and the city chirped all around, but it was almost home.

Shyly, the girl nodded and blushed. She couldn’t have been more than twenty and the thought made Lexa uncomfortable. Only a few years separated them, but what a few years it had been for her. With a large portion of it fucking girls like this one on coke-fueled binges, she was ashamed of herself, more and more. She was different now. She was figuring out what it meant to appear one way, and be another.

The intern smiled and thanked her. Lexa gave her two tickets to the show that night and made her way inside after a hug and a lot of thanks. She liked that part.

“You’re late,” Indra complained as the elevator dinged and Lexa pushed her hair around, digging her hands into it nervously. Her sister leaned against the wall, not saying much at all.

“Why’d you let me smoke? I’m trying to quit.”

“Because you’re unruly when I enforce anything.”

“Yeah, well.”

“Yeah, exactly,” her manager taunted, grabbing her coat as they were directed into the greenroom. “I have to leave you with one vice to maintain the rockstar image.”

“I have plenty, thanks,” Lexa snorted as she took a seat. “So what will I be doing today? Puppies and Questions? I liked that one. Or maybe photobombing pictures?”

“Some computer game thing,” her sister shrugged and typed on her phone. “If you behave, I’ll take you to lunch and then you can have the afternoon to rehearse with me while the nanny is busy with the kid.”

“Why doesn’t Anya have to do this stuff?” Lexa complained, looking at Indra through the mirror.

“Because she behaves herself and doesn’t land up on tabloids.” She scowled and rolled her eyes before meeting her sister’s eyes.

“Fine. Deal.”

When Lexa first had the notion of doing anything real with her music, she never once believed or dreamt of making it to that moment. But she had an old guitar and played for a lot of punk bands in high school before dropping out to play and refine herself. Her sister had a degree from an online university that she got while driving them around in a van and playing drums. They were a team. Their little band was a surprising hit. Even two albums later.

And then Lexa torpedoed them.

Lexa didn’t make it easy, but she was trying to get better. She had to get better, because Anya counted on her, and she just realized what that might mean. Things were different, and she let herself get off target. Now she was nothing but focused, despite her own initial resistance to it.

“Go get’em kiddo,” Anya winked and nudged her toward the booth.

“Hey, cheers, yeah, pleasure,” Lexa smiled and took the headphones after shaking hands with the radio hosts. Her manager gave her a nod and signaled for her to smile more. “Thanks for having me.”

“Thanks for coming in,” the gentleman beamed. “Are you ready to do a little live show?”

“Kind of excited about it, actually. I don’t get to play much for fun.”

“We’re going to separate the hour up into three segments,” the female producer explained as Lexa got herself situated in the chair, adjusting her microphone. “First, a little intro, some questions. Then, your manager okayed a little game segment. Last, a follow up and then you do a little song for us.”

“Easy day,” Lexa smiled, rolling up her sleeves.

When Lexa disappeared, it happened so quietly, that no one really knew about it. She snuck off, heartbroken, stoned, and drunk, and she was forced to get better, and she was forced to work on a new album because nothing else mattered. And it helped, to distract herself with work. She spent a good year really working through things on a guitar. It left her with something she was proud of, though now she had to answer for her time in hiding.

It started out simple enough, and Lexa was back in the swing of interviews and touring. It was nothing like when she was in a van with her sister, and living off of gas station food. Now she was international and on the biggest shows. The nerves were still there though.

The introductions went well enough, a little witty banter, but like clockwork, she could feel the switch that came in the questions.

“You were MIA for about two years, right?” the host ventured. “What happened?”

“It’s kind of simple. I had to write. I got my heart broken, plain and simple. Everything happened in a big of a whirlwind for me. I spent four or five years really hustling and coming up, and I got swept up in it. So I had to get my head on right.”

“Seems like some much needed R and R, right?”

“Definitely. Plus, I really got to grow in my sound, which has been an amazing experience.”

“You had a pretty gruelling schedule before?”

“Yeah, I made my sister schlep all over the world. She deserved a little time at home. Plus, she was incubating a human.”

“That probably does take a bit of energy,” the laughed.

“Now we just have more people coming on tour with us,” Lexa grinned and sipped her water.

“But back to the album. It’s evident the change in sound. This is already being heralded as the best album of the year across the board. How do you feel about it?”

“I’m far too self-deprecating to ever consider it the best of the year,” Lexa chuckled and nervously toyed with her hair. “It’s something I’m proud of. I mean, I’m always proud of my work, but I feel different this go, and I think that’s what you hear in it. Heartbreak and a lot of figuring myself out. Can’t say I’ve succeeded much, but I gave it a go.”

“So heartbreak is a theme,” one ventured, smiling slightly. “You haven’t been back on the dating horse? In two years?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say two years. But the past few months, I have been very strict with myself.”

“So you don’t believe in love anymore?”

“Phew, wow. Um. I do. I’m not so sure I’m any good at it.”

“This is perfect. We are going to find you love today, Lexa Woods. Or at least, that’s what your sister proposed we do with you.”

“We’ll be right back with Lexa Woods, resident rockstar,” the other host interrupted the artist’s nerves. “Right after this.”

The music cut in and they were cleared. No one felt like updating her on what felt like an important piece of information, so she looked back at her sister, who just smirked. It was a dangerous kind of game, and all of a sudden, Lexa remembered how much she’d made her sister’s life difficult, and thus was deserving of these little jokes she played.

“You’re just going to need your phone,” an aide appeared and pulled some cords from somewhere.

“For what?”

“Tinder.”

“What’s that?” Lexa furrowed and handed over her phone as it was plugged in to the computer. The hosts just looked at each other before looking back at her.

“Basically, you set up a profile, and simply swipe left if you don’t like the person, and then right, if you’re attracted to them.”

“Isn’t that the thing for fucking?”

“We’re looking for love,” they assured her.

Lexa groaned internally, but nodded. She could handle fucking. It was love that was complicated and turned her into a monster. It was love that led her to Costia. It was love that fucked her over, a fact that her sister liked to forget in favor of the notion of romance.

Helplessly, she looked to Indra who was busy emailing on her phone. Anya sat in the sound booth, giving her sister a curt little wave. Penance, Lexa reminded herself. It was her duty.

She watched as something was put on her phone and they set up the basics. It was going to be a long day. No one would ever accuse Lexa of being a talker. It was a miracle she survived these types of things.

“And we’re back this afternoon with Lexa Woods, all-around badass and self-proclaimed victim of heartbreak. Welcome back again, Lexa.”

“Thanks for having me, I guess,” she smiled slightly.

“So you dated Costia, the model, correct?” an anchor ventured. “Is that who broke your heart?”

“I don’t like to name names,” she smiled coyly.

“How very chivalrous of you. Well, we just love the album, but we do want to hear more love songs, and so we thought we’d help you get back to a full heart, so to speak. Please welcome our contestant of the moment to another round of Rockstar Tinder!”

Noise effects went off in the headphones and Lexa shook her head, doing her best to maintain a bit of the tough guy persona she just had. In all reality, she wanted to run away and smoke, but she couldn’t. So she played along.

“I know this might be a little hard to believe, but I’ve never actually used Tinder,” she confessed, playing it up for the audience.

“We actually don’t have trouble believing that a rockstar would need help.”

“Even better. So we’ve been not too successful yet. But we think the third time doing this is the charm. We’ll even help you out.”

“Perfect. Let’s do it. Ladies, I’m coming for you.”

With a little chatter, they managed to form a quick little profile for the musician. They selected a few picture and tried to make it obvious and not obvious.

“So it’s left if I like them? Will they be swiping for me? How do I know if they like me?”

“Right if you like them,” the host laughed. “And I’m sure they’ll love you.”

It was a fun enough game. Lexa even found herself laughing slightly with all of it. It seemed so obscure to her. But a few people swiped on her, and she had fun chatting, trying to convince some she really was who she said, and others, that it was all fake. No matter what, she always told them to tune in and hear to verify. She even told a few that she’d have tickets waiting for the sold out show, and it was up to them to try it out.

No love could be found though. Lexa understood how exciting it kind of was, to swipe around and meet new people. It seemed weird to not just go to a pub and pick someone up in person though. She was clumsy online.

“Well, did you find love?” the host asked, wiping his eyes from laughing so hard at the musician’s antics. If there was one thing Lexa could do well, it was schmooze. She was one hell of an appearance.

“Unfortunately, no. And I had such high hopes that we’d find it in ten minutes.”

“Yeah, we struck out again,” the other sighed. “And with that, our suave singer is still single, so all you ladies at the show tonight, go ahead and throw some bras and such.”

“The way to my heart,” Lexa sang.

“We’ll be back in a bit. We have two live songs coming up right here in house. One from the new album and a cover, right?”

“Yeah, of course. Anything for you.”

“Goodness, you can swipe right on me any day,” the female host fanned herself.

“And with that, we’ll see you soon,” the other rolled his eyes.

The day had been long and exhausting, but something about sore muscles and incomprehensible tiredness felt welcomed. There was just a few more days left in her adopted city, and Lexa was more than eager to savor the feeling of her own bed. She was more than eager to savor the feeling of quiet and solitude that came in her condo.

Outside of the floor-length windows, she saw the city glimmer and for a moment, she ached to be out there. Instead, she stayed in, and she savored. She took the longest shower of her life, washing away the sweat and dirt from the concert. She snacked. She returned emails. She was utterly domestic and terribly boring.

Before, after a show, she would be out partying, drinking, smoking, going out somewhere. Four in the morning, and she’d be doing lines in the bathroom and not falling asleep until noon. It wore down her body and mind and heart, and also that of her sister.

Now, she was crawling into bed with a bowl of fruit, a nature documentary, and wool socks before one. But it was the only way her sister agreed to go on tour with her again. She’d be up by nine, in the gym by ten, and prepared for whatever they had scheduled for her. She was a team player, and she was done being selfish, especially after everything her sister did for her after the break up and implosion. Plus, she was oddly into the documentaries.

Ding.

With a growl, Lexa stretched and grabbed her phone from the nightstand, ready to decline whatever offer someone was extending by simply ignoring it.

Instead, she found herself looking at a Tinder match and rolling her eyes. She did meet with some of those she spoke with, the ones who showed up and believed her. That was actually fun. Now, it felt a little off, and weird.

But maybe her sister was kind of right. Maybe she could open herself up. She was better than she’d ever been. For a few seconds, she argued it over with herself while a very British host described the harsh environments of some random island. He told the story of birds that don’t see each other for six months at a time, and the female was missing. For a bird, the male looked extremely upset, and that was enough to nudge the musician’s decision making process.

For some reason, she sat up in bed a little straighter, as if she were actually going to work or something. But all that she did was begin to swipe. She was extremely discerning, and felt oddly covert, like she was hiding this from someone. She looked around her empty bedroom and leaned back against the headboard.

As soon as the urge to look came, it disappeared. The female bird arrived and they made little bird babies before the documentary moved onto another island with ugly little toads and an ant problem. Gone was the spark and motivation. Realism replaced the dreamy idea of love in the technological age.

With a final swipe to the left, Lexa sighed and snagged a piece of melon before preparing to shut off her phone.

And then she looked at the last person who appeared and she gave it one final go, flicking her to the right and tossing her phone hopelessly a second later.

Her sister might be right about opening herself up and not letting Costia win after rebuilding, but Lexa was certain that she wasn’t about to find anything worthwhile on Tinder, not even a random hook up. Because while she did want to believe her sister, she’d settle for just a warm body.

Across town, the music was thumping. The bar was filled to capacity, and the night was far from ending, as it was technically just starting. Already a few hours into her shift and just starting to sweat with filling drink orders, the bartender grinned, winked, flirted a little to pay the bills.

“No, I’m done, Rae,” the bartender shook her head as she poured and handed out a few shots. “No more blind dates. No more worrying about romance. This is a new start. I have my internship and I just want to be me for a bit. So stop setting me up and giving out my number.”

“It’s been--”

“I know how long it’s been,” she grunted.

“Clarke, I’m just trying to help.”

“Your blind date lives in his mother’s basement and plays video games as a profession. I think the sea is all dried up for me. No more help needed.”

“Suit yourself.”

“I do suit myself.”

With a self-satisfied nod, Clarke took a deep breath before steadying her customer-service smile and getting back to work.

On a good night, she made enough to be comfortable. On a great night, she could put some away for savings. Tonight was setting up to be great. So great, in fact, that she didn’t mind taking a breather and grabbing a drink herself when some terrible band started playing and the orders stalled out mostly.

Despite herself and her words, Clarke checked the Tinder notification she got a few hours ago, first. She didn’t mean to, but it was habit. She never used it, but from time to time it was hilarious to watch people try to flirt or just be complete weirdos.

The notification didn’t disappoint. Of course, the rockstar Lexa Woods matched with her. Of course, no one would ever think to pretend just a little and be more original when catfishing. Of course, this was her luck. But still, pretend as it was, it was flattering to think of the sex goddess who seemed to wear the tightest black pants and simple black shirts and leather jackets at all times, as being interested.

For the hell of it, Clarke ignored the shit band and hummed one of her favorite songs as she perused this rockstar’s fake Tinder. There was no way someone who looked like sex and sweat and all manner of perfection, who also wrote beautiful songs and played guitar in front of millions, would need a dating app. There was no way. That was like imagining said rockstar in fuzzy socks, and already tucked in bed with a facemask and nature documentary. It just didn’t make sense.

The pictures were definitely the rockstar that Clarke was picturing. Leaning against the back counter, Clarke sipped her drink and looked at the pictures of a girl and a guitar. There was one with her with a puppy, which was a problem. The profile was simple, the bio saying simply: Yes, that Lexa Woods.

She’d given up on love, so this made sense to her. With a smile, Clarke tried to type something clever, but failed terribly.

I know you play guitar, but if I were a drum, I’d let you bang me all night.

Satisfied that she’d at least make whoever it was smile, the bartender went back to work, quickly forgetting about the weirdo on her phone.

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oursisthefvry · 7 years

Text

i’m running to you so please catch me

IMAGINE: (Y/N) have been dreaming of the a blonde haired, blue eyed man ever since she was thirteen. Legend has it that you can see your soulmate when you’re dreaming, so the question is, who is this person?

[gif is not mine. sorry for the long delay of me writing. i’ve been super busy but hopefully this makes up for it. tell me what y’all think. this is based on the poem, ‘a postcard’ by lang leav.

‘I know I’m running late -I’m sorry. Things haven’t worked out the way I planned. But believe me when I tell you I am on my way.

‘Until then, think of me, dream of me and I will do the same. One day I will learn your name, and i will write it somewhere on this page. And we will realize that we have known each other all along.’

It started with a dream when she was just thirteen years old. She dreamt of a man with blonde hair and blue eyes, his tone gentle and caring. She remembered gazing up at him and feeling complete and warm. Everytime she woke up, she cursed as she was met with a man on a poster. Every night she yearned to sleep, to see the mystery man and every morning she cursed when she woke up.

She was always the bright-eyed girl, the one full of songs and romantic nonsense as her family used to call it. Her heart was so full of love that she wanted to share it with everyone that she met. Her mother once told her that she should be wary of giving her love away freely as some people will take advantage of it.

It was on her sixteenth birthday that she figured out her mother’s lesson. Her boyfriend at the time was everything in her eyes but she knew there was something missing but she shrugged it off. She loved him, truly she believed it. It wasn’t until she saw her boyfriend and her best friend making out that she felt hate in her heart for the first time. Still she never blamed either of them when she could easily do, instead she put on a brave smile and faced the world. Everyone thought that she was still the bright-eyed girl, maybe she was, but there was a little crack in her heart that wasn’t there before.

Each moment in her life, every bad thing that happened to her caused her heart to crack even more and finally she decided to lock it away. Why would she want to keep feeling an emotion that was hurting her and killing her slowly? She never believed in the fairy tales anymore, the dashing knight that would save her, or true love. There was no such thing. Gone was the little girl, the woman was now in her place.

Years went by without her dreaming of the man, maybe subconsciously she told her brain to hold off on any romantic notions as they weren’t logica. Or maybe she killed that part of herself too. Nonetheless, she missed it.

“I don’t get why you want to help me on this,” Tony looked at his best friend who was now sorting through his papers.

(Y/N) sighed, “Maybe because since Pepper left your company has been chaotic? These papers aren’t even in chronological order. Nevermind, scratch that, it’s not even in any logical order.” She mumbled something under her breath, “You know how much I hate things being out of order and it’s killing me that you’re being indifferent about this.”

“Not everybody can lock up their emotions,” Tony snarked which he received a bored look from her.

“You’re repressing your emotions, that’s not healthy.”

“Pot calling kettle.” Tony took the papers out of her hand and swivelled her chair so she was now looking at him. From here he could see her grinding her teeth, a nasty habit that she picked up. “Look, you need to calm down and have some relaxation time. Come with me to the Tower, the gang’s dying to meet you.”

She sighed and rubbed her temples, “Anthony. We have talked about this.”

“Please,” he begged.

(Y/N) closed her eyes and shook her head, when she opened them she could see Tony imitating what seem to be a puppy dog eyes. “You’re seriously not doing this right now.”

“You’ve been putting this off for the last two years! I’m pretty sure they want to know who’s practically doing all of our paperwork and getting those bloody bastards from the government off our backs.” Tony leaned down, “They want to know who’s secretly second in command.”

Once again she sighed and then pushed Tony away from her person, slowly she stood up and picked up her jacket that was laying on the back of her chair. “Just this once, then we have to get back to work.”

“Great, I’ll text Bruce to let them know we’re on our way.”

The day that Peggy died something inside Steve Rogers died as well. He watched as the woman he once loved inside the casket lowered into the Earth, away from everyone but never forgotten. Steve felt as if his heart stopped momentarily. She was a very big part of his life, before and after, what was he supposed to do now?

It was a slow recovery. Everyone tried to help him but they also knew that he needed time to himself, Wanda was the best at comforting him, Nat coming in a close second. It took months for him to be himself again, not closed off. The others welcomed him back, though there was no giant event about it.

It was after a particular nasty mission that he took to bed, not even bothering to remove his tactical gear and wash up, that he dreamt of her. She was different, he could tell. He knew that this woman was a person he never met before, not even bumped into randomly. Her voice was calm and serene, her eyes were bright but there was a hint of hardness to them. Before he could do anything about the dream or her, he was woken abruptly by Tony banging on his door letting him know that Wanda wanted him to eat.

Every night after that, he wanted to fall asleep as quick as he can in hopes to see her again, spend more time with her. Every morning he abruptly woke up to the sound of the cars beeping, or one of the Avengers walking around the tower. Every morning, he silently cursed them while his eyes were closed trying to remember what she looked like that particular night.

“And then we mix it like this,” Wanda handed the wooden spoon over to Ultron, who now had a deep concentrating look on his face.

“Get a room,” Sam groaned as he walked in and took one look at the couple in the kitchen. “Honestly, when does Wan and Robot Boy leave for their own apartment? I’m tired of seeing them make googly eyes with each other.” A sound of something hitting the back of Sam’s head made Steve chuckle.

“Let them be,” Steve spoke as he flicked through the newspaper.

“Did you hear that Fury’s S.I.C is coming in today with Tony?”

Steve looked up from his newspaper and looked at his friend, “The one that’s been working with Tony and his company?”

Sam made a clucking noise with his tongue, he pointed at Steve, “The very one. Apparently Tony’s finally convinced her to come and meet us. About time too, want to know who’s been legally saving our butts.”

Steve made a noise in agreement. He did often wonder about Fury’s second-in-command. All he knew was that she was a woman, who happened to be Tony’s best friend, she was smart and that Fury liked her enough that he was told once the man cracked a smile because she told a joke. She was the one that processed the documents that the government needed so they would back off.

He looked at his watch and noticed the time, “Crap. I have to go talk to Bruce about something.” He bid farewell to his friend who was now watching Wanda and Ultron with a disgusted face. As he made his way to the lab downstairs, his mind wandered to the woman. Why was he so fascinated with her? He hasn’t even met her.

Unfortunately for Steve who was now lost in his thoughts he didn’t see Tony or her and abruptly bumped into them. Shaken from his trance he quickly apologised. “I’m so sorry, here, let me,” he held out a hand to the woman who was now on the ground because of his clumsiness.

“Thanks,” she mumbled as she placed her hand in his.

Steve felt a flutter in his heart as her small hands grasped his. He looked at her now who was brushing off the dirt from her legs, she flicked her hair that was all too familiar with him, and graced him with a smile.

It was her eyes that he took notice off. The same eyes that’s been in his dreams lately, the same eyes that he wished to see in person.

As Steve was once again in his trance, (Y/N) looked at the man in front of her. It was him. It was the same man that she’s dreamt of for nearly a decade. The same blue eyes that she somehow fell in love with.

“It’s you,” she blurted out. “You’re him.”

Tony and Bruce who were now looking at the spectacle in front of them, looked towards each other. “Yes, this is him, the great Captain America.”

At his hero name Steve woke up and glared at Tony for a moment before he turned his attention back to her. He awkwardly stuck out his hand to her, “I’m Steve.”

The right side of her mouth tugged upwards into a small smile, “(Y/N).”

As their hands met they knew that they were the person in each other’s dream. Somehow the little girl that (Y/N) thought was dead was alive inside of her heart. Maybe he could be the person that was meant for her, maybe he was the person that could seal her heart back together. For the first time in a long time, she felt her heart spread with love once again.

Steve looked at the woman in front of him, slowly the emotions in her eyes became less guarded and he was struck with just how beautiful and bright they looked. A small thudding in his heart started, a feeling that he’s never felt before.

As they stood there in front of each other, hands clasped, Bruce and Tony looked on. They looked at each other, they knew that this was a moment that would change everything, forever.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #imagine steve rogers #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers fanfiction #captain america x reader #captain america imagine #captain america one shots #captain america one shot #captain america fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagine #marvel one shots #avengers x reader #avengers one shot #avengers imagine #avengers fanfiction #poetry series

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notable-bumblr · 4 years

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okay so

a couple of my family members have funky little things that happen and don’t make sense. for example, my grandmother has these feelings whenever someone in seriously injured or dead and so she always knows before they tell her. and for me it’s those dreams where you have the dream and then you can’t remember but then it happens and you remember having a bunch of the dreams.

and i used to just see images as opposed to full on scenes, so it would be more like i would randomly have a moment in the grocery store where i’d see something and have some deja vu and remember all the times i dreamt that moment. then they started becoming more than that, and i’d dream a quick conversation or something. for a long time they went away, and i was a little sad because it was always fun having those little “oh!” moments. but the last few days i’ve been having tons of these moments, except it’s different. now it’s either that i remember several dreams and they all end differently or i remember the dreams but it feels like i could change what happens instead of how usually it’s exactly what happens in the dreams. I don’t know what this all means. and i’ve been choosing to do exactly what happens in the dreams because i’m nervous about what would happen if i didn’t. anyway i just thought it was weird but cool and if anyone knows anything about this i’d love to learn more!! :)

#im sorry

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viollettes · 7 years

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“Carnations” (Part 4)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (College AU)

Summary: A carnation fundraiser, an iota of possibility, and a longtime secret crush on your hot best friend - what could go wrong?

all thanks to the stupendous @buckyywiththegoodhair for beta-reading! you’re an opalescent pineapple-unicorn who deserves all the kettle corn in the world!

Last year, you and Bucky thought it’d be fun to make holiday wreaths while under the influence. Bucky stole a bottle of expensive vodka from his parents’ liquor cabinet, and both of you got embarrassingly drunk over a weird game of Truth and arguments about who got to use the hot glue gun first.

You gave him your drunken creation, which he gamely took and hung on his apartment door. Sam hated it –“The hell is – oh God, is that Barbie head glued on the side?”– but Bucky refused to throw it away.

A sense of amusement usually washed over you whenever you took in the fabric unattractively bunched up or the Barbie head randomly glued on the side. But today, the ugly wreath made your heart lodge itself in your throat. The Barbie head was scrutinizing you, its blue eyes judging you in a hawkish way.

You spin on your heel. “Sharon, I’ve changed my mind, I can’t do –” You smack your palm against your forehead as you remember that Sharon had already driven away.

The car ride to Bucky’s off-campus apartment had been an interesting one. Your blood coursed with adrenaline as you reassured yourself you’d be okay no matter what; you’d already gone through an emotional hurricane - what was one more time? Now you wanted to build a time machine and tell your past self to shut up and maintain anonymity.

“Nope,” you mutter under your breath, forcing yourself to face the ugly wreath again. “Channel your inner Romeo. Confess your love, but communicate thoroughly so you don’t die in the end.”

You poise your fist over the apartment door, but the door flies open and a figure skids to a stop to prevent him from bumping into you. “Whoa!”

“Steve!” you yelp, your voice jumping up a few octaves in surprise.

“Whew, I wasn’t expecting to see you. Are you here to see Bucky?”

Guilt floods through you as he flashes his signature kind smile at you. Without uttering a word, you tackle the blonde with a hug. Steve slightly stumbles backwards but quickly catches his balance. “I’m so sorry, Steve. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to,” you mumble into his heather-gray shirt.

“(Y/N), I don’t understand. What are you apologizing for? Are you okay?”

Ignoring Steve’s questions of concern, you babble incoherent apologies. Your mind runs over the crude insults you mentally hurled at the blonde a few hours ago, eliciting stronger apologies.

Though confused, Steve gently rubs his hand against your back until you calm down. He tilts his head to make direct eye contact with you and says, “I have no idea why you’re sorry, but it’s okay. You’re, um, forgiven for whatever it is that you’ve done.”

“Really?” you squeak.

“Yeah,” Steve chuckles while shaking his head in amusement. “Something must be in the air, because both you and Bucky are being weirdly dramatic today,” he muses. Not noticing your look of curiosity, Steve nods at the apartment door. “You’ll find Bucky being extra on the balcony. Go.”

Squeezing the blonde’s taut waist one last time, you make your way into the apartment. Bucky has his back leaning against the balcony railing, and he sports a pensive look while staring into the inky blue skies. His shoulders are slumped, and his normally dynamic blue eyes are dull in an aching way.

Before hesitation can make its move in you, you step onto the balcony and close the sliding door behind you. Bucky pushes himself away from the railing, his eyes growing wide in surprise. “(Y/N)? What are you doing here?”

“I have something to tell you.”

“What? Oh, are you here to get the earphones you left here?” Bucky beckons for you to follow. “They’re somewhere in the kitchen –”

Squeezing your eyes shut, you blurt out, “Bucky, I really like you.”

“ – we could probably, wait, what?”

The floodgates have burst open, and you can’t stop. “I know this is out of left-field, but I’ve felt this way for a really long time. Also, I don’t really know what it’s like to be in love, but I think I may be in love with you.”

There. You finally said it, and you can’t take it back.

Trepidation starts to blanket itself over the balcony. Hands shaking and tightly clasped, you slowly open one eye, meeting the round blue eyes of your best friend. “Please say something?” you squeak when Bucky continues to remain silent.

The brunette’s eyes fall downwards, but when he brings them back up to meet your eyes, he breaks out into a face-splitting smile. Yes, that was the smile you loved, the smile that made you feel like the only girl in the world.

“Wow,” Bucky breathes.

“Wow?”

“Wow,” he confirms. Bucky steps closer to you and places his hands on the sides of your arms. “I’m not dreaming, right?” he asks.

You crinkle your brow in confusion. “Um, you’re not, this is very much real life. But I don’t –”

“You have no idea how many times I’ve dreamt about hearing you say those words.” Bucky scrapes his teeth against his bottom lip as he casts a boyish smile at his shoes. “I really like you too, doll. And,” his eyes flick upwards to meet yours, “I think I may be in love with you too.”

Whoa. You’d juggled a number of possible outcomes in Sharon’s car, but this wasn’t one that you had even contemplated. Your heart is busting out a drum solo, and a weightless feeling has invaded your stomach. You search his eyes for a clarification, finally squeaking out, “What?”

Running a hand through his hair, your best friend bashfully chuckles. “I thought I was being obvious. The constant touching, me calling you ‘doll’, the little looks here and there – that was me sending you signals, but I obviously didn’t do a very good job.”

“But… The carnations, I -” You wildly gesture with your hands, wishing that you aren’t at a loss for words. “You didn’t send them, right? Do you know who sent them?” you finally spit out.

“Doll, I don’t know who sent you the flowers, but he’s someone I could lose you to, and God… I hate that. I hate that so much.”

Melting. You’re melting from the inside out. This entire time, you weren’t the only one harboring a secret. This entire time, you weren’t the only one stressing out from a one-sided love.

Bucky likes you. Holy hell, Bucky likes –maybe loves– you!

You tell him everything. You tell him how you convinced yourself to keep mum in order to save the friendship. You tell him about the carnation fantasy that took a life of its own, only to crash and burn in the hands of Dot. You tell him about your misconstrued thoughts about Steve and how Sharon swooped into clear the air.

Bucky intently listens, his eyes never leaving yours, and it’s when you take a breather that you realize his arms have snaked across your back and waist, pulling you flush against him, chest to chest. He’s close. Almost too close.

“I wish you would have told me sooner,” Bucky says. His voice is low and velvet-smooth, and it makes you feel all tingly. “But,” he pauses to twist your baseball cap around so the bill faces the back, “better now than never,” he winks. His hand slides against the curve of your jaw before leaning down and pressing his mouth to yours.

The kiss is gentle but captivating. Your arms move on their own volition, looping around his neck and bringing in closer to you. Everything around you disappears, and the world goes mute as your senses go haywire.

Bucky’s eyes appear to be more gray than blue when he broke the kiss. With a soft smile, he looks down at you. His tender gaze elicits a giggle out of you, to which he joins in with a carefree laugh. Bucky’s arms grow tight around you, and he holds you like you’ll disappear if he lets go.

“Hey, doll?” Bucky suddenly asks.

“Yeah?”

“Is there a 24-hour flower shop around here? I need to do something that I should’ve done during the flower sale.”

You lean back so Bucky can see you dramatically raise an eyebrow. “What? Buy me a dozen white carnations?”

“No, doll. I’m not too big on the carnations. I’m all about the red roses – twelve red roses for the girl I’m utterly in love with.”

You bury your face into his chest, trying to hide the huge smile breaking onto your face. Yes, carnations were beautiful, but you have a feeling that roses are going to be your new favorite flower from this day on.

Epilogue

@buckyywiththegoodhair @bovaria @abovethesmokestacks @sebbytrash @brighterlights @beccaanne814-blog @jurassicbarnes @avengerofyourheart @cleanslates @corruptedlungsandblackwings @fandomlifeuniverse @themcuhasruinedme @hellomissmabel @pleasecallmecaptain @captainpunk @sebstanwassup @magnolia-wanders @latenightbooknerd @debzybrazy @cami23593 @mynamespaigex @redgillan @alivingfanlady @queen--valeskaxx @softcorehippos @feelmyroarrrr @elyza-jeanette @addictionmarvel @piratecaptain-ducky @taylorjacksonandtheolympians @netflixa @latenitetacos @ideallywinter @unicornqueen05 @finallybreathee @itsmaytimetosaygoodbye @summerbummer2001 @metal-arm-red-star @supermegafoxyawsomehot-nice @cassandras-musings @puddinsgal @secondstartotheright-imagines @vintagesaph @seeyainanotherlifebrotha @emilyinwonderland3 @lunaaaaax384 @langinator @littlenerdgirl16 @happily-beinghappy @wickedwerewolf

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #modern!bucky #modern!au #bucky fanfic #bucky fic #bucky barnes au #bucky imagine #viollettes #viollettes writes

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alexinafterglow · 7 years

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1-100 for my baby i love you

Awww I love you too baby thank you for asking!!!1: Is there a boy/girl in your life? There’s a perfect boy in my life named Key 💖 2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? I have forgiven them for it bc it was a long ass time ago.  3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. I couldn’t find a book near me fast enough so I typed 17 on “my” chrome book.  4: What’s something you really want right now?  Key and Mexican food tbh. 5: Are you afraid of falling in love? I would say yes but I’ve already fallen head over heels for my baby! 6: How can I win your heart? You already have! 7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? Yes plenty of times with you! 8: What’s the background on your cell?  So after questioning for like 5 minutes what cell was until u told me it was short for cell phone it’s a set of flowers and you bc I’m gay. 9: Name the last four beds you sat on? Key Key Key and mine.  10: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? Na not at all because it was my mom lmao.  11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned? They are going a billion times better than I ever could have dreamt of! 12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? Probably Quinn’s idk I don’t have a lot of friends riiip.  13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? NEITHER I HATE DOGS FIGHT ME 14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? Emotional because it’ll never leave you.  15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? How bout yes please.  16: Are you tired? I’m always tired I barely sleep send help.  17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact? I’ve had them since 2009 when I had my first phone.  18: If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? 2008 so I wouldn’t be so fucked tbh.  19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? Lmao I’ve only dated Key ripppp.  20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? I talk to my first love and first kiss every day 21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? I know I have the right person and yes I am gonna marry Key! 22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? It’s Key so hell yes a billion times over! 23: When was the last time you were disappointed? About a month ago.  24: Is there a certain quote you live by?  “This is the anthem throw all your hands up. Y'all don’t have to feel me sing if you’re with me”25: What’s on your mind? Tbh key and I wish my internet would work so I didn’t have to use data.  26: Do you have any tattoos? I wish but not yet.  27: What is your favorite color? My favorite color is red it’s lit.  28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? Tomorrow when I see my baby Key!29: Who are you texting? Lmao the one and only Keeey.  30: Are you superstitious about anything? I believe in a lot of superstition but not any about black cats they’re the good pusses.  31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? Oh yea plenty of times.  32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? I have plenty just because girls are better than guys to talk to tbh.  33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I know my beautiful future Key does.  34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? You have my beautiful emerald! 35: What was the reason for your last breakup? I haven’t had a breakup and won’t soooo.  36: Were you single on Valentines Day? Lmao na I had the most amazing Valentine’s Day ever! 37: Name one physical feature that you like about yourself, and one you dislike. I like that I breathe I hate that I’m very clumsy.  38: What do your friends call you? Dill Bill! 39: Has anyone upset you in the last week? My family every day.  40: Have you ever cried over a text? I cried when Key said yes when I asked him out! 41: Where’s your last bruise located? On my elbow.  42: What is it from? I hit it on a wall.  43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? Probably about a month ago honestly I wanted to be away from the world.  44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with? I’m always on the phone with Key! 45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes? I love all of my converses! 46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? Na I don’t look good with hats on.  47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style? Oh no I don’t look well bald.  48: Do you make supper for your family?  Every now and then I make dinner for them. 49: What’s the toughest decision you made this year? Probably to convince myself to be me.  50: Top 3 web-pages? Probably any social media site tbh.  51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping? No and I’ll fight them.  52: Does anything on your body hurt?  My knees because I have no protection to them when I walk. 53: Are goodbyes hard for you? I never say goodbye unless the other person says it first.  54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Coffee like a month ago.  55: How is your hair? It’s medium length and very faded denim blue in it.  56: What do you usually do first in the morning? I tell Key good morning and then use the bathroom.  57: Do you think two people can last forever? Key and I are going to so yea of course.  58: Think back to January 2007, were you single? Lmao I have been until like almost year ago.  59: Green or purple grapes? Purple are the best.  60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug? As soon as I see Key! 61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? Right next to Key 62: What did your father teach you? How to treat women correctly.  63: Where will you be 5 hours from now? Probably asleep or waking up randomly. 64: What were you doing at 8 this morning. Trying to go back to sleep while waiting for Key to wake up. 65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked? The same person I liked for like 3 years and I love now and am gonna marry! 66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? Key!!! 67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today? I wish I did to Key but no unfortunately.  68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I hope Key sleeps amazingly tonight! 69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Oh yea but I’m pretty sure everyone has.  70: How many windows are open on your computer? Only one and that’s this site called rabb.it key and I use!71: If you won 100 million dollars, what would you buy first? Anything and everything Key wanted and spend like maybe $100 on a new recording Device so I could lmao.  72: What is your ringtone? Why don’t you get a job- the offsprings  73: How old will you be in 5 months? I’ll be 19! 74: Where is your Mum right now? Asleep like I should be lmao.  75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? I am tho??? 76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? I hold Keys hand everyday that we see each other, which is like every other day, so yea I have.  77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? Lmao nope they all dropped me it I dropped them with the exception of Key.  78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? I didn’t really start crushing on people until like the end of grade 8.  79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike? Lmao my dad goes by mike.  80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? Every other day I do in Keys! 81: How many people have you liked in the past three months? Um let’s see here: key, KeY,Keeeeeey, and lastly keywi! 82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? Lmao I sleep pants less so yea.  83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? I get to talk to him every night! 84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? Well first of all I’m not drunk ever so this question is already invalid.  85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? Well once again we’re straight edge so invalid question.  86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? Well I went with Key and I got to snuggle up next to him so there’s that.  87: Who was your last received call from? KEEEEY 88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? Um no satin I wouldn’t.  89: What is something you wish you had more of? Key and money to spend on key.  90: Have you ever trusted someone too much? I used to trust everyone too much until I got bullied as a child lmao.  91: Do you sleep with your window open?  Um no I’m not dumb and don’t appreciate losing my goods. 92: Do you get along with girls? Lmao almost all of my current friends RN are girls so yea. Males are usually douches.  93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?  No I tell the truth as soon as I know it. 94: Does sex mean love? To me if I have sex with someone aka Key, then it means love, but in a hypothetical world that I don’t wanna live in where Key doesn’t exist and I just have sex with random people not necessarily.  95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? I’m sorry did you mean the only person I want to spend forever with, Key??? 96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? Oh no I’ve only kissed one person.  97: Did you sleep alone this week? Na I slept with my baby Key every night! 98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? I definitely do his name is john cena jk it’s key.  99: Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe you can want to be friends with someone as soon as you see them but you can’t love them until you know them.  100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise? Every night I pinky promise Key something.

#my lover dearest #asks #send me asks #ask me anything

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