#like even if this hypothetical person asked me on a date they couldn’t even hold my hand

[saturnsuv]

.

[airas-story]

Just a Kick

“Well,” Tony said, trying not to let his amusement get the best of him. “Say what you will about Peter, but subtle he is not. I think he wants us to date.”

Stephen glanced at him, arching an eyebrow. “What gave it away?” He asked, tone dry. “The mistletoe a few weeks ago that was completely out of season? The three different staged dinners that, admittedly, took us two dinners too long to figure out? The time they locked us in a closet after having stolen my sling ring? The fact that they’ve now tried to shove us into a single room with only one bed despite the fact that I could literally portal us to our own rooms for the night without anyone the wiser?”

“We could do that,” Tony agreed, even though Peter had made them promise not to abuse portals. Apparently it was part of the ‘vacation experience’ and it was cheating if they just went home every night. Tony didn’t get it, but he’d gone along with it this far. He let out a little hum as he considered the situation. “Or, I suppose, we could just go along with it.”

“You kick,” Stephen muttered under his breath. “It is incredibly annoying.”

Tony had gotten used to Stephen knowing random things about him—about them, in the hypothetical situation that they happened—that Stephen should, by all rights, not have any way to know.

14 million timelines.

Tony didn’t know how Stephen had done it, wasn’t sure how Stephen was still sane.

Wasn’t sure how, after all that Stephen had to have seen, Stephen for some reason loved him. There was no way that Tony deserved that.

Personally, Tony blamed Stockholm Syndrome. Stephen had clearly been forced into Tony’s proximity for so long that he’d been tricked into it. And yes, he knew it didn’t work that way, but Tony thought it got the point across remarkably.

But however many timelines it had taken Stephen to fall in love with Tony… It had only taken this one for Tony to fall in love with Stephen.

He just wasn’t sure how to actually do anything about it. He wasn’t sure that Stephen would believe him if he did, for one. And, perhaps more importantly, a part of him worried that his love could never measure up to Stephen’s own.

He would try. Hell, he’d try. He’d try to do right by Stephen. But the fear lurked. What if Tony wasn’t enough?

Such thoughts clearly didn’t plague Peter who clearly thought that he and Stephen were perfect for each other. 

“Well, wouldn’t want to kick you,” Tony said easily, trying to hide his gut reaction. “Just open me up a portal to my place. We can deal with Peter tomorrow.”

The words were supposed to come out casual, but something must have slipped because Stephen eyed him curiously.

“Do you want to share a bed?” he asked, sounding uncertain. Uncertain didn’t suit Stephen.

Tony opened his mouth, then closed it. He wasn’t sure how to answer that question. The truth was that, yes, he sort of did. But he also wasn’t sure what that would do to their relationship. Would it progress things faster and further than Tony was ready for?

Would he be giving Stephen promises that he couldn’t possibly live up to?

He knew he wasn’t good enough for Stephen. Did he want to give Stephen the false hope that Tony might someday be?

Stephen’s brow furrowed and Tony realized he’d been silent too long.

“Yes,” he admitted. He ran a hand through his hair before throwing caution to the wind. “I do want to share a bed with you. I want to do a lot of things with you, actually. The sort of things that Peter wants us to do. Like hold hands. And kiss. And sleep together, both platonically and not. And you know… uh, fall in love with you.”

Stephen’s mouth dropped open just slightly. Clearly he hadn’t expected for Tony to go all out like that. Well, Tony had always lived to surprise.

“Except,” Tony continued. “It can’t be perfect, because apparently I kick in bed, and maybe that’s a sign of other things. That maybe I’ll metaphorically ‘kick’ if I try to love you.”

“You…” Stephen shook his head. “You sound ridiculous, you know that, right? Are you really suggesting that because you kick in your sleep you’re incapable of loving me?”

“I’m just saying that maybe it’s a sign.” He looked away. He sounded like an idiot and he knew it. But the point stood. “You love me.” Stephen didn’t deny it. They were far past that. “And I just… I don’t know if anything I give you can ever match that.”

Stephen huffed out a breath, shaking his head. He waved his hands and then suddenly he was in his pajamas instead of his many layers of sorcerer garb. Tony felt his mouth go dry. Stephen looked… well, he always looked good, but he looked soft and approachable in the soft, worn white t-shirt and comfortable looking lounge pants. “You’re an idiot. Now get into your pajamas and get in bed.”

“Did you hear anything I just said?”

“Yes,” Stephen said. “You admitted you love me. You added a whole bunch of nonsensical commentary about somehow not being enough for me that I’m choosing to ignore until we’re both less tired. But the essence is that you love me. Since that’s true, I don’t see why we’re still dithering about this.”

Tony stared at him, searching for the right words.

Somehow he still surprised himself. “Alright.”

If Stephen was going to make it that simple… Well, Tony could accept it. For now, at least, until they had that discussion they needed to have.

Stephen waited until Tony was comfortable in the bed before wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him close. “I love you, Tony,” he murmured, breath warm against Tony’s skin. “Even when you kick.”

[textilesimp]

reflecting/brain dump thoughts as allo person in a relationship with an aroace partner

over the past year that we’ve been together i’ve undone a lot of my preconceived notions about what romance and sexuality and love and relationships are

and i still have a lot of undoing to do

i remember maybe a few months into our relationship my therapist asked about how i felt being with an aromantic partner as a person who does feel romantic attraction - as in how i felt being in a relationship with unreciprocated romantic feelings

i still don’t really know how to answer that question

i don’t really understand what romantic feelings or romantic attraction or romance are

frankly nobody seems to really know either

in all the conversations i’ve had with people in my life with varying degrees of romantic attraction

those that didn’t experience it could speak to many of the things they couldn’t relate to in romance focused society, but couldn’t say what it was that they didn’t experience (..because they didn’t experience it, which is fair lol)

and the people who did experience romantic attraction took that for granted enough that they couldn’t explain what it was either

(i got the same results from internet people and internet articles/resources btw)

which honestly has led me multiple times to the conclusion that romantic attraction is fake and there must be some other phenomenon or placebo effect nonsense that has caused all this romance hubbub

but i’m pretty sure that that can’t be it, because i’m pretty sure i experience romantic attraction

i don’t know what the fuck it actually is though and it’s lowkey driving me insane lmao

i want more concrete answers than “oh it’s when you really like someone and want to spend a ton of time with them” ok and? i like my mom and i’m pretty damn sure i’m not romantically attracted to her

ennywheys i’m asked about how i feel being in a relationship with unreciprocated romantic feelings

and i don’t really know the answer

partly because no one has a good explanation or definition for what romance is

but also because i don’t feel like there’s anything i’m supposedly missing out on

i feel loved and supported and cared for

my partner and i are open and explicit in communicating our needs and wants in a relationship and what we’re ok with to make each other happy

i don’t think i need romantic love to be reciprocated as long as the ways my partner’s love manifests itself fulfills my desires for a relationship (and vice versa)

at the same time, and this is definitely due at least in some part to my societally ingrained aphobia (arophobia? words hard help), i still wonder if there is something fundamentally different that our relationship doesn’t have that i want

i don’t know if it somehow feels different for someone to hold my hand because they innately desire it

instead of holding my hand because they love me and want me to feel all the happiness in the world, and they know it makes me feel loved

or maybe those two things are inherently intertwined

in stories, there’s something tragic about unreciprocated love

i don’t know if i believe that it’s truly tragic

nothing feels missing, it’s the hypothetical “what if” worry that buzzes around the back of my head

i have everything i need and i’m happy, i’m really, truly happy

i’m a swoony romantic. i want the good morning texts and the passionate kiss and the stargazing dates and the loving gaze. the stupid homoerotic flirting. i want her to call to say she misses me and listen while i tell her about all the wonderful and terrible things that happened today. to get rid of spiders before i see them because she knows i’m scared of them. to twirl me in the kitchen when my favorite song comes on. to remember facts about my hobbies and loved ones because i talk about them so much. to wonder with me about what a future together would look like, what furniture we’d buy, what jobs we’d have, what we’d do together to wind down in the evening before a good night kiss on the forehead

she does all these things and more, and i know she’d do just about anything i asked

she means the world to me

i love her

i love her so much

[selenitesdawn]

Everything sucks

pairing : robin buckley x fem!reader

warnings : angst, anxiety, homophobia

summary : y/n and robin are stuck working together after breaking up just a few weeks ago. at first they both played it cool, but the truth always ends up coming out.

third person pov

Scoops Ahoy used to be the best thing happening to y/n and Robin. The young couple had always dreamed of working together. So when they both got the job at the ice-cream shop, they obviously got super excited. And things did go well, at least for the first couple of days. Whenever they had free time and no one would come to the store, they hung out in the back of the shop, cuddling in a corner and talking about their shared future. At this point they’ve been dating for a couple of months, all in secret of course.

“What if we bought a dog?”, Robin asked y/n while playing with her hair.

The couple was cuddled up, y/n laying in Robin’s arms.

“A dog is a lot of work love, you know that right?”, y/n had replied, thinking more realistically than her girlfriend.

“But hypothetically, you would want a dog right? That’s kind of important to know. And what would we name her? I was thinking about naming her after a badass female movie character. That would be cool right? Or maybe after one of the ice-cream flavors here. Aw, now that I’ve said that out loud, it’s much cuter. Let’s name her.. what about tutti-frutti?”

“Tutti-frutti? And you already know the dog is going to be female huh?”, y/n laughed, kissing Robin’s chin.

“Of course it’s going to be female. She’s going to be our love child. And tutti-frutti is a cute name.”, Robin exclaimed pouting, kissing y/n on top of her head.

Shortly before their 8 months anniversary, Robin broke up with y/n. The break-up was kind of messy, since Robin was bad at articulating why exactly she was breaking up with y/n. Trying to be the bigger person, y/n wanted Robin and her to still get along, so she dropped her anger and frustration to not cause any more heartbreak for herself. She just didn’t understand where Robin was coming from, and apparently Robin didn’t even know herself. They had maybe two or three fights in total, and those weren’t even serious. It was just about some stupid disagreements, like “What song is the best song of all time?” or “Why is being in a drama club cooler than being in a band?”. So y/n was obviously left confused and heartbroken.

But since they were still working together, they had to get along on an almost daily basis. The first few days were like living hell for both of them, but after some time they just went back to being cool with each other. Y/n just wanted the best for Robin, and if she couldn’t be that for her, then so be it.

“Hello Ladies, welcome on board of Scoops Ahoy, the best ice-cream shop this mall has to offer.”, y/n tried to say confidently to a group of girls standing in front of the counter.

“Yeah, that’s probably because it‘s the only ice-cream shop in this mall.”, one of the girls said, which caused them all to laugh.

Y/n tried to force a smile, trying not to lose her confidence right then and there. After the girls left, Robin pulled up the shutters of the window behind y/n, holding up a white board.

“And another point for you suck, which in total is the 8th point today.”, said Robin while smiling sarcastically.

“I get nervous okay! And this stupid hat suffocates my thoughts. That’s why I always mess up my lines.”, y/n said while taking her hat off, walking back inside.

“Sure honey bunny.”, Robin replied.

“Don’t call me that.”, y/n retorted.

Robin didn’t realize her slipping and just apologized quietly.

“Whatever, it’s fine. Not like it means something, huh?”

The last sentence came out more passive-aggressively than y/n intended it to.

“Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to-“

“It’s okay. That one’s on me.”, Robin quickly said.

After that y/n and Robin just sat in awkward silence, facing each other but trying to avoid each other’s gazes by any means. It was quite obvious that both of them still had feelings for the other, but not for them of course. Y/n wanted to act like she was moving on and Robin wanted to feed into the thought that she didn’t completely destroy y/n’s heart. That’s why they started this awful game of y/n trying to flirt with other people, just so both of them could overplay their true feelings. Flirting with other girls as a girl was clearly impossible, since most of them were too straight to even realize or just thought it was super weird. At first it was fun to act as if their hearts didn’t shatter the day they broke up, but now it was just getting more and more frustrating.

“We should just stop with that stupid game.”, Robin said, finally breaking the silence.

“Why? Scared someone will flirt back?”, y/n replied playing it smugly.

“You’re obviously getting frustrated, and i’m sick of telling you that you suck every time someone doesn’t appreciate your awkward but cute attempts of flirting. Besides, would it be so bad if I was scared ? We broke up just a few weeks ago, it’s not like I‘m going to be completely over us.“, Robin states, sounding painfully frustrated herself.

“Are you serious? You were the one that broke up with me, without even giving me one valid reason. And now you want to tell me, that you’re not over us?”, y/n replied angrily.

“It’s not like I wanted to break up with you y/n! But I had to! For you!”

Y/n got up angrily, tears forming in her eyes. Her hands were bawled to fists, nails digging into her palms.

“I know you’re mad at me y/n, I totally get that. Christ, I’m so so so mad at myself, like every single day. I go to bed, I’m mad at myself. I wake up, I’m mad at myself. And you have every right to call me a hypocrite or maybe, i don’t know, you should put salt in my ice-cream and watch me suffer while eating it. You could curse me out and I would totally, utterly understand your frustration, I promise. But it’s just not that easy, okay? I know I broke your heart and that was so so shitty, but I broke my own heart too because I just thought that all of this would be best for you but it clearly isn’t and now I just feel so stupid.”

The words came out with full force, each burning their way into y/n’s head. Robin stopped herself from keeping on talking and just watched y/n’s reaction now. Y/n eased up and stood in front of Robin in complete disbelief. She couldn’t comprehend what her ex just said. A tear rolled down off of Robin’s cheek, her body seemed to be shaking.

“I’m sorry.”, was all that y/n was able to bring out before she walked over to Robin and embraced her in a tight hug. Both of the girls started sobbing violently, holding onto each other like their life depended on it. Robin buried her face in y/n’s neck, trying to inhale the familiar scent through her stuffy nose. A few minutes passed while they were just holding each other, people walking in and out of the shop since no one seemed to be there.

“Please Robin, just tell me why you broke up with me. You shouldn’t go through this on your own. Together we can’t make everything work, remember?”, y/n whispered, slowly detaching herself from Robin.

Robin seemed to have caught herself again, her tears stopped streaming and her gaze was fixated on y/n.

“Remember when I was over at your house to pick you up for our cinema night?”, Robin asked.

“Of course I do. You looked so pretty that night, it was challenging to not kiss you in middle of the living room.”, y/n replied.

“Yeah right. So.. I just stood there, waiting for you. Then I heard your dad on a phone call. Pretty sure that he didn’t mean for me to hear it. But uhm.. it went something like this.”

“Can you believe that? The John Miller being seen doing gay stuff?”, y/n’s dad said on the phone.

Robin just stood in the living room, not knowing what to do with herself. Her hands were fidgeting, her body stepping from one leg to the other. Y/n’s dad walked around in the kitchen, not noticing that Robin was in the room next to him.

“If I was his dad I would move far far away from here. Or honestly just move him far far away from here.”, he told the person on the other end of the line, laughing spitefully

“No but seriously, what is he going to do with him now? Send him to a camp maybe? Or a psych ward? What do you do with him?”

With every sentence it got worse and worse. Robin couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It didn’t take long until she felt an anxiety attack raising inside of her.

“Whatever, as long as my daughter isn’t like them, I don’t care what happens to them. She is spending a suspicious amount of time with this Robin girl though, maybe I should look into that.”, y/n’s dad finally utters. Although he did say it with an ironic tone in his voice, laughing just after saying it, Robin couldn’t hold it together any longer.

Luckily y/n came down the stairs just a moment after, giving Robin the chance to finally leave her own personal hell.

“It was something like that. I don’t remember the exact words but.. it was awful y/n.”, Robin finished.

Y/n stayed silent at first, letting the entire story just sink in for a minute.

“But why didn’t you tell me Robin?”, she then asked.

“I know you and your dad always had a complicated relationship y/n. And during the last weeks it just… it seemed like you two would finally get along again. And I saw how much that meant to you. You just seemed so much more relaxed at home and I… I didn’t want to ruin that. Who am I to ruin that? Just because I was eavesdropping. God, I wish I never heard that conversation in the first place.”

Y/n felt incredibly sorry for Robin. Because she knew she was right. Y/n did feel like her relationship with her dad was finally at a good point and hearing that did ruin things for her again. From now on she would feel uncomfortable at home, knowing that her dad deep down doesn’t accept her for who she is. She would feel weird bringing Robin home, and she would wonder if her dad actually had suspicions.

“I don’t care.”, y/n finally brought out.

“What?”

Y/n put her hand on Robin’s cheek, caressing it softly with her thumb. Robin couldn’t help but melt into it, closing her eyes and taking in ever single moment.

“I don’t care what my dad thinks. And if he doesn’t accept me for who I am, I could care less about our relationship. Being with you Robin, was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Our relationship was the most precious thing in my life and I would walk to hell and back just for us to be together. I would do anything, you understand? If that means moving far away with you, buying a dog and naming her tutti-frutti and maybe never seeing my dad again, then so be it.”

As y/n was done talking, Robin immediately grabbed her face and closed the distance between them. Their lips started moving in sync, falling back into their old patterns. It was a desperate kiss, filled with sadness and frustration. But at the same time it was pure and rare love being exchanged, excitedly gliding off of their lips, just to be reciprocated by the other. When their lips parted, it felt as if they would still pull onto each, eager to continue.

“I love you y/n. I truly and wholeheartedly love you. And if you want to, you can live with me. I always have space for you, you know that.”, Robin stated.

“I love you too Robin. And I would gladly move in with you.”

After that the couple just sat there, holding each other tight, enjoying their shared presence. They could have cared less about the angry customers in front of the shop, as long as they had each other. Well, at least for about 15 minutes. Y/n was afraid to lose her job so she chickened out and started serving the customers again. But nevertheless, the peace finally found its way back into not only Scoops Ahoy, but into both of their hearts. And they were 100% certain, that both of them would never let the other one go ever again.

[electrosuite]

bullshit

warnings: swearing

word count: 776

masterlist

Happy couldn’t even begin to describe how you’d felt for the last two weeks.

When you got paired up with the famously smart Peter Parker for a biochemistry project, it was like immediate sparks. You clicked so well that it was like the two of you had known each other your entire lives.

So when he met you at your locker after your project was turned in, you smiled.

“Hey,” you greeted, but he seemed determined to ask you something. He leaned against the locker to your right, his shoulder bracing his body. His hands were shoved into his jacket pockets and he couldn’t hold back the look of admiration in his eyes.

“Hypothetically, if you had to pick a restaurant for dinner, what would you say?”

You closed your locker. “Purely hypothetically?”

“Mhm,” he said with a single slow nod.

“Alright, let me think.” You sarcastically placed the pad of your pointer finger against your lower lip and looked down, pretending to ponder his question. “There’s a Greek restaurant on 21st Street, Bel Aire Diner.”

“Okay. Now, again, purely hypothetical, if I was to take you there tonight, would you be in?”

“A hypothetical date?”

“Yep. Purely hypothetical.”

You paused for a few seconds and he raised his eyebrows.

“Well, if any of this were true, I would absolutely say yes.”

He smirked. “Sweet. See you tonight.”

The edges of your mouth crept into a grin as he walked off, a bit more pep in his step.

That was two weeks ago. Now, he was in your bed, the two of you studying for a test in the aforementioned biochemistry class. He was leaned against your headboard with a couple of pillows behind him. You were sitting up with your hip next to his.

The test was on enzymes, or at least that’s what you were trying to discuss.

But the conversation had turned personal. Peter had been trying to get to know every little thing about you, and vice versa. He loved hearing you talk about your life and was always as interested as he could possibly be. And you usually loved the questions.

Until now.

“Have you ever been with anyone else?”

You shook your head. “Nope.”

“Really?”

“Yep. Now can we get back to-”

“Have you ever kissed anyone?” Another head shake. “Oh, that’s bullshit.”

His response caught you off guard, and you raised your eyebrows.

“What do you mean, bullshit?”

“I mean bullshit. You’re way too beautiful to have not kissed anyone.”

“Well, you’re wrong. I’ve never kissed anyone.”

“Not even on the cheek?”

“No one I’m not related to.” He was astounded. And it translated into his expression. “You don’t have to look at me like that,” you awkwardly chuckled. “You’re making me feel like a weirdo.”

“No, you’re not a weirdo.” He sat up, his face now less than a foot from yours. “Can I ask why?”

You shrugged. “No one’s ever really been interested in me, I guess.”

“See, I find that hard to believe.”

“Why?”

He scanned your face, his eyes settling on your lips for a second more than the rest of your features.

“Have you seen yourself?” You nodded. “You sure?”

You scoffed. “I think so.”

He reached up and slowly pushed your hair behind your left ear. You could feel your skin heating up and your breath became a bit shaky, your heart rate picking up.

He gently pulled your face closer, connecting your foreheads. You’d never so much as held hands with someone of the opposite sex, so this was new.

And then, in an instant, your lips were together. It wasn’t anything like you’d ever expected — it was better. So much better. Maybe it was because of the adrenaline coursing through your veins, or maybe Peter was a great kisser.

Either way, you felt like you were floating. And you never wanted it to end. So when the kiss was over, you processed for a moment before pulling him back in. Your hand found its way to where his neck and the back of his head meet, your thumb resting in front of his ear.

You kissed for a few more seconds before he pulled back, both of you out of breath.

“Wow,” you giggled, your hand slowly resting on top of his thigh. You sat back a bit and smiled, which made him chuckle.

“Are you okay?”

“Mhm.”

“You sure?” You knew he was poking fun at you, but you knew it wasn’t in a mean way.

“I’m so sure.”

He leaned in for another quick kiss before he began flipping through flashcards again. Meanwhile, your cheeks were red hot.

[halstudandruz]

Halloween Magic

*Not my gif*

Pairing: Matt Casey x Reader

Requested: Yes

Prompt: Maybe Halloween night really is magical

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: I don’t know why but I just picture Stella as Little Red Riding Hood and Kelly as the big bad wolf

You were being ridiculous. All you had to do was ask him. He was going anyway, so what did it matter if you had a little influence on what his costume was going to be? Maybe it gave you a better chance of winning. You’d then be entered into the individual category and the couples category so technically you were just doing it to better your odds. It was fine. You just had to ask him what he thought. Asking him to go as a couple didn’t give away your crush. Not that you had one, but hypothetically speaking of course. You wouldn’t want him thinking you did. You’d just present it as two friends collaborating for victory. Victory, meaning free booze for the night and bragging rights. Bouncing on your toes to shake your invisible nerves, you strided towards his office. Why the hell were you so nervous? This was something completely normal for the two of you but at the thought of asking him was too date like. Then again he had technically asked you on a real date a couple days ago when he invited you to accompany him to his parents Christmas party. But that wasn’t like a real date was it? He just needed to bring someone for his family to stay off his back. Obviously, that’s all it was. So, then why were your hands shaking?

But wait, your thoughts came racing back stopping you in your tracks. Matt was too nice. Even if he didn’t actually want to go together he’d say yes anyway. Especially if he thought he owed to for agreeing to go with him to the party. What if you were just putting him in an awkward position by asking? Maybe he even had a date already. Usually you knew if he was talking to someone, but you avoided the question for obvious reasons, to yourself at least. Yeah, this was a bad idea, good thing you caught yourself before..

“[Y/N]?” His muffled voice snapped you out of your thoughts. You hadn’t realized you had made it all the way to his office. Standing awkwardly with your hand resting on the doorknob. You met his eyes, furrowed eyebrows proving his confusion. Inwardly groaning you pushed open the door, entering the small office. “What’s wrong? You alright?” He questioned and you could see his eyes scanning you for any sign of outward injury. Normally you would knock once and enter regardless of the situation, but he did seem to be overreacting a bit at your small hesitation.

“Yeah..I just..do you have some ibuprofen? I can’t find mine.” You eventually stumbled over the excuse. You did kind of have a headache thanks to your overthinking anyway.

“Oh yeah.” He turned to pull the rattling bottle out of his top drawer. You held your hand out expecting him to drop your normal dosage into it. But the bottle remained clasped in his hand unopened.

“Well..you gonna give me it?” You pushed, waving your hand in his face, breaking a smirk from his.

“Not until you tell me what has you all in a tizzy.” He answered.

“Tizzy? What are we in the 1950s?” You teased.

“Deflecting isn’t going to help.” He smiled, enjoying the hold he had over you.

“Fine. I was wondering..” You started clearing your throat as it went dry, “I thought maybe..” you averted your eyes, ignoring the rapid beating of your heart. How did you make this sound like it wasn’t a date? I mean of course you didn’t actually want it to be right? You couldn’t ask Matt on a date. Your best friend, coworker, love of your life. Your eyes widened as your brain filled in the blank spot of what Matt meant to you. You weren’t actually in love with him were you? Yeah, you loved him, but in love with him? Nah, you just spent a lot of time with him, and he was just the embodiment of what you wanted in a man and your body didn’t like.. react to him in a sexual way right? You just had a little crush because he was a good person that’s all. Looking back over to Matt your eyes roamed his body. Holy hell was he good looking, heat creeped onto your face at the inward thoughts. Alright, yeah. So maybe you were in love with him. Fuck. When did that happen?

“Hey.” Matt grabbed ahold of your hand standing up to face you, concern now taking over his features. “What’s going on?” His palm came to rest on your cheek and you fought to hold in a whine at the contact, sparks shooting throughout your body. Just ask him. Your mind probed at least then it might give away how he feels. Just ask him. Taking a deep breath you gave in,

“I was just wondering if you’d be interested in-“ You began to ramble out before a voice appeared from the door behind you,

“Hey, sorry to..interrupt but we have that meeting with Boden in 5.” Kelly explained.

“Oh right thanks. I’ll be right behind you.” He answered as Kelly nodded, retreating.

“I promise I’ll be right back. Don’t move okay?” He waited for you to nod before he disappeared behind Kelly. As soon as he rounded the corner you went on a search.

“Why didn’t you tell me!?” You shouted at Stella and Sylvie who were chilling in the back of the ambulance, the only refuge away from the men since your lounge got shut down. They exchanged confused glances before turning back to you.

“Care to elaborate?” Stella chuckled, kicked back on the stretcher. Looking around you could see the Squad table full minus Severide playing a round of cards. Not wanting them to eavesdrop you stepped into the back of the ambo with your two best friends closing the doors behind you.

“That I’m in love with Casey!” You exclaimed, panic rising in your voice as they two burst out in laughter.

“Seriously? You’re kidding right?” Stella asked between gasps of air.

“We thought you knew! Everybody does!” Sylvie added.

“Kelly and I talk about it all the time!” Kidd exclaimed.

“Okay, first of all rude.” Your hands landed on your hips.

“I’m just saying it’s about damn time you two got on the same page.” She shrugged.

“Wait..what do you mean, the two of us?”

“Oh honey.” Sylvie smiled sweetly, “he’s got it bad for you.”

“Okay, you guys are losing it.” You rolled your eyes, but the pit of your stomach suddenly began to swirl at the accusation.

“He practically worships the ground you walk on. You think it’s just a coincidence he asked you to his parent’s Christmas party 3 months in advance?” Stella had pointed out, and you now understood the look her and Kelly had exchanged when you told them about it.

“We’re best friends and he just needed a date.” You reasoned.

“And you don’t think he could’ve found anybody else in that time?” Sylvie smirked.

“Alright, alright if what you’re saying is true why hasn’t he said anything?” You questioned.

“For the same reason you haven’t.” Brett explained.

“You know what you have to do right?” Stella jumped up, almost knocking her head off the shelves.

“No? What?” You sighed already dreading her next sentence.

“Make him give in.” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

“And how exactly do I do that?” You crossed your arms across your chest.

“Halloween is the best excuse to make yourself look like a walking sex symbol.”

“So, you want me to seduce him?” You added skeptically. It sounded like a bad idea, but that didn’t stop your thighs from pressing together at the thought.

“Your words not mine.” Kidd held her hands up defensively.

“Halloween is all about magic.” Sylvie added, giddily.

“Listen, I am not going to seduce Casey. If he loves me as you claim he should be able to tell me on any normal day.” You attempted to shut the idea down.

“There’s nothing wrong with pushing things in the right direction.”

“I don’t know..” You shifted on your feet. They were being absurd. You weren’t going to seduce your best friend even if you were madly in love with him. You would look ridiculous. Especially given the fact that they had no actual evidence that he felt the same way about you. However, their hunch was right when it came to you. Even if you had just discovered it. So maybe they were onto something? The alarm beeping pulled you out of your anxious thoughts,

“Ambulance 61, person in distress, 347 North Franklin Street.”

“Just think about it.” Stella pushed, opening the door for you and Sylvie to make your way to the front.

“So I was originally going to suggest Superman and Wonder Women but I think that’s a little too common. All though I do think I’d make a wonderful Clark Kent.” Matt’s voice caught you off guard, causing you to drop your book, landing in your lap almost hitting Matt in the face where he now lay across your legs. You had just gotten back from your call and were relaxing in your bunk, planning to push through the last few chapters of your book.

“I think I’d go with more of a Peter Parker vibe.” You looked down at the blond man whose elbow was nestled against your thigh, head propped on his hand to look up at you. It was a casual position for him, used to always being in close proximity to you, but if only he knew the way your body had suddenly began to react just from his own presence, struggling to keep your breathing in check.

“Clearly you have never watched any of these movies.” He flashed a smile at you, already knowing your lack of knowledge in the superhero genre.

“Oh you caught me there,” you rolled your eyes playfully, “what are you talking about anyway?” You questioned still trying to piece the intent of his original statement together.

“The costume contest? Molly’s…Saturday…Halloween?” He continued to add context until you nodded. Chest tightening at the realization he was talking about a couple’s costume clearly with someone else. “What do you want to go as?” He continued.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, picking your book back up to avoid the emotion coiling in your stomach, “witch or something maybe.” You knew Stella and Sylvie were exaggerating. He only looked at you as his best friend. Obviously. You were already aware of that before they got all in your head. So why did you feel so..jealous? You were their best friend so clearly they knew you like the back of their hands, but they didn’t know Matt that well. They were just assuming. However, Stella said Kelly agreed and he was his best friend and roommate wouldn’t he know? It was a good thing you weren’t allowed to drink on shift or you’d already be a pint in.

“So..I’d go as a warlock? That sounds even more basic than the superheroes. Plus I’m not sure the pointy hat would fit with my face shape.” He thought out loud, apparently trying to picture it.

“What?”

“Well if you’re going as a witch then I have to go as a warlock, that's how couples costumes work babe. Or wait..is it a wizard? Isn’t that what Harry Potter is? But what about the brother in Halloweentown? I could've swore he was a warlock. Well now I’m just significantly confused.” He rambled, unaware of how prominent the thumping in your heart had become.

“I..yeah I’m not sure you’re right I’ve heard both.” You shook your head, watching Matt pull his phone out of this pocket after it vibrated against the bed.

“Alright well think of some ideas and we’ll reconvene later.” He winked, putting his phone to his ear muttering a greeting as he walked away. You tried to shake your body of the butterflies that began to take over.

“Sandy and Danny?” You offered, looking over at him in his desk chair, legs kicked up on the bed frame as you leaned back against his pillows.

“Who?” He looked at you clueless.

“From Grease!” You exclaimed.

“I was always more of a Dirty Dancing kinda person.” Matt admitted.

“Well duh it’s clearly the superior movie, but Grease is easier to recognize.”

“Right..good girl or bad girl Sandy?” He questioned.

“Do you have a preference?” You flirted. Inconspicuously Matt’s eyes trailed up your body, but you caught it. Maybe Brett and Kidd were onto something.

“Maybe.” He smirked, eyes flashing a darkness that was gone within the second. “Unfortunately Cruz mentioned something to Severide about a leather jacket so him and Chloe might have that locked down.”

“I could see it.” You nodded, “Tinkerbell and Peter Pan?” You went to your next idea on your list.

“As adorable as I’m sure you’d look, I'm not wearing tights.” He chuckled.

“No? I think you’d look great in them.” You teased.

“There’s only one person I want to have that full view.” He gestured south. You weren’t gonna question him but lord did you hope he was talking about you.

“Yeah I figured it was a far fetch.” You smiled.

“Alright, those ideas were for my own enjoyment. I already know what we’re going as.'' You admitted, wrinkling the paper in your hand into a ball to throw it at him.

“Care to disclose?”

“Just trust me I’ll take care of it.” You winked getting up to leave him in his office alone.

Two days later Matt had shown up right on time to pick you up, but you forbade him from entering your room, not finished getting ready yet.

“Did you bring your jersey?” You asked, peaking your head out from behind your bedroom door.

“I did.” He confirmed holding it up in his hand.

“Great, put it on.” You ordered, watching as he slipped the red hockey jersey over his head, almost knowing his baseball hat off in the process.

“Now what?” He asked nervously.

“Nothing, you're ready.” You smiled admiring his simple appearance.

“I’m ready?” He gave you a skeptical look standing in jeans with a blackhawks jersey and hat on.

“Trust the process Captain.” You joked, shutting the door to finish your makeup.

“Hey hun I’m going to take Brewer out real quick.” Matt's voice drifted from the living room.

“Thank you. His leash is hanging by the door. I’ll be done in two minutes.”

“Take your time.” He replied before you heard the door close.

It seemed a little unfair you were pulling the weight in this costume collaboration, but it was your idea and certainly had nothing to do with your weakness of Matt in any kind of uniform. You hadn’t originally planned to wear such a revealing dress although you’d be willing to argue it wasn’t revealing in a slutty way as much as a subtle sexy way. But after going shopping with Kidd and Brett for costumes the night prior you had somehow ended up with this in your closet. The sparkly silver dress hugged your body showing off the best features of your curves, neckline plunging just enough to accentuate your cleavage, hem line stopping just above your mid thigh, putting emphasis on your ass. You double checked the NHL logo you had sewn to your stomach, before completing your look by carefully placing a headband with a tiny silver bowl on top. You were the Stanley Cup and had high hopes your Blackhawks player would be taking you home tonight.

“Brewer! Wait until I wipe your paws!” Matt stumbled at the front door trying to contain your golden retriever in hopes of minimizing the snow he would be tracking in.

“Brewer, sit.” You ordered and he obeyed sitting directly in front of Matt panting happily.

“Really? That was a bit rid-“ Matt started to complain, sentence drifting off as his eyes met your body, mouth falling open slightly.

“Get it?” You smiled proudly spinning to show off your outfit.

“I-uh-yeah..you look gorgeous.” He complimented standing straight up, dropping Brewer’s paw which caused him to take off wet snow soaking your floor.

“Thank you,” you bit your lip feeling your cheeks heat up, “you like the idea though?”

“Yeah it’s genius.” He smiled, “You know Herrmann he’s too superstitious to not give us first.”

“Exactly my thoughts.” You nodded your head smiling brightly walking towards the door to grab your coat, red high heels clicking against your wooden floors.

“Here let me.” Matt offered, pulling your coat off of the rack and helping you slip it on. “I started my truck when I took him out so it should be warm.” He informed you not even attempting to hide the way his eyes roamed over every inch of your body, his face turning a light shade of pink in contrast to his eyes turning a darker shade of blue.

“Okay, ready then?” You grabbed your clutch and keys when he nodded clearing his throat and opening the door to guide you out, “Bye Brews be a good boy!” You scratched your companion on the ear offering him a bone before following Matt out.

“Here, be careful.” Matt grabbed ahold of your hand wrapping it around his arm for support.

“I’ve walked in heels before.” You chuckled, but tightened your grip around his palm cuddling closer to his arm.

“I know but it’s starting to get cold. There could be ice.” He reminded you, and you certainly weren’t about to fight it, allowing him to help you into the passenger seat.

A few hours later Molly’s was pretty packed. Plenty of people one too many drinks in, singing bad karaoke at the front of the bar.

“Alright, the judge’s results are in.” Herrmann announced after grabbing the microphone from a drunk man singing Carrie Underwood. Going through the few categories of costumes. “And last but not least the first place winners of our couples category goes to…Matt Casey and [Y/N] [Y/L/N]!”

“No way!” You smiled, turning to hug Matt tightly. Heat running through you from the contact and multiple alcoholic drinks already.

“See you’re a genius!” He grinned, pulling you into his side to kiss your forehead.

“He’s not even dressed up! He wears that all the time, and they’re not even a couple!” Cruz huffed, standing beside you in white shirt topped by a leather jacket, jeans which were rolled up at the bottom, an unlit cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and a black wig styled with gel on top of his head.

“You want to be the reason the Hawks don’t bring home the cup this year? I didn’t think so!” Herrmann retorted walking back towards the bar.

“Awe give it up honey.” Chloe, who was standing next to him sporting a yellow ankle length skirt and matching cardigan laughed, kissing him on the cheek.

“You guys look great, but you just gotta know how to play the judge.” You shrugged, patting Cruz on the cheek, walking past him to the bar.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick, order me a beer?” Matt asked.

“You got it.” You nodded watching him head towards the opposite side of the room.

“Someone’s getting laid tonight.” Stella sang teasingly while pushing a beer and martini towards you.

“Oh shut up.” You rolled your eyes, unable to cover your smirk as you took a drink.

“Just saying you look hot, and I want all the details.” She winked walking away as someone else summoned her a few feet down. You couldn’t help but giggle hoping to god some miracle would occur and she was right.Turning on the stool your eyes wandered around the room attempting to spot anyone who you hadn’t acknowledged throughout the night yet when your eyes landed on Matt who was now leaning against the bar a laugh falling from his lips earned by a blonde chick who was pressed almost completely up against him, nails digging into his biceps, as she leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

An immediate rage shot throughout your body, clutching your glass in your hand tightly. You had never been violent in your life, but you truthfully wanted nothing more than to rip the girl’s face off. Shooting daggers their way as if it would somehow separate them. Daring him to look in your direction. You looked around for Stella ready to go off, but she was nowhere to be found behind the bar. You were contemplating your two choices: go over there and tell them both off or sneak out under the radar calmly and rationally, when a voice pulled you back to reality.

“You are one trophy I’d like to show off and take home.”

“Why? So you could set me on the mantle to get dusty?” You teased, appreciating the attention.

“Oh no honey. I’d give you a prime spot in my bedroom and give you all the attention you deserve. Unless you want to get dirty of course.” He winked, hand falling to your thigh.

“Hey buddy. Keep stepping.” Matt’s voice came from over your shoulder before you felt his strong arm wind around your waist. The man looked between you two and you watched as it clicked.

“Sorry man. Didn’t know.” He patted Matt’s shoulder on the way past him and you felt Matt instantly relax beside you. You gave him an incredulous look grabbing ahold of his hand to pull him into the hallway beside the bathrooms where it was much quieter.

“What the fuck was that?” You huffed gesturing to the bar.

“Oh I’m sorry. I was under the impression most people go home with the same person they came with.” Matt replied, a hard tone in his voice. Was it jealousy? Seemed a little hypocritical to you.

“Really? Did you tell that to the blonde slut that was just hanging off of you?” You bit back, annoyance overtaking your body.

“Yes, I did actually.” He answered, stepping the slightest bit closer to you.

“Oh..I..” You stumbled over words trying to cover your embarrassment, but he just chuckled, shaking his head as he rested a hand on the wall behind you.

“Jealousy is cute on you. How can you not see I am completely in love with you, [Y/N] [Y/L/N]?” His blue eyes bore into yours.

“I..uhm..fuck.” You whined as he pressed his body closer to yours, you admittedly felt a little lightheaded from the adrenaline beginning to pump throughout your body. This wasn’t actually happening. There was no way Stella was actually right for once. You didn’t just seduce your best friend into admitting his feelings for you. “You know.. it is tradition to kiss the cup after the win.” Matt whispered into your ear, goosebumps erupting over your body. Okay, yes you did.

“Would never want to break tradition.” You bit your lip watching Matt’s face break out in a big smile.

“Never.” He agreed, his free hand moving to cup your cheek as he pulled your lips to his. Gentle, sweet, passionate. Everything you ever dreamed of when his lips molded to yours, intensity growing by the second. Breaking away to get a breath you couldn’t help but smile up at him.

“I love you too, so much.” You admitted, laughing in disbelief.

“Wanna get out of here?” He asked, kissing your jaw line.

“Think we can make a low key exit?” You sighed leaning your head further back against the wall as his lips continued to attack you.

“Everyone seems drunk enough.” He observed without even looking up.

“You didn’t even look.” You giggled.

“Little busy here.” He bit down on your collarbone pressing his hips into your stomach.

“Matt..” You warned, beginning to lose sight of where exactly you were.

“Don’t forget your jacket.” A voice said a few feet away from you causing you both to turn your heads witnessing Stella tying her cape back on as she walked out of the men’s bathroom, Kelly a few steps behind her, shrugging his jacket onto his shoulders. She met your eyes gasping, a wide smile spread across her face.

“Awe! Look at you guys!” She clapped, bouncing on her toes. Matt chuckled, putting space between the two of you.

“What were you guys doing?” You smirked, eyeing the two knowingly.

“Hey at least we were in private you two are groping each other where anyone could see.” She shrugged.

“Fair point.” You mumbled.

“Yeah, well..we’re gonna go now.” Matt interrupted, gripping your hand in his.

“Yeah, I’m sure you are.” Severide laughed, causing Matt to shove him the shoulder, pulling you towards the door.

“Oh wait, Stella let Cruz put a couple of drinks on my tab tonight.” You felt a little bad knowing him and Chloe should’ve gotten first place.

“You’re drinking for free tonight,” she reminded you as you nodded slowly waiting for her to catch up “ohhh alright, you got a smart one here Casey.”

“Yeah gorgeous too.” He smiled, kissing your forehead.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” You giggled pulling Matt back towards the door. Maybe Halloween was a magical night after all.

All Tag List:

@corebore123 @scarletsoldierrr @hehurst23 @beautiful-bunny89 @ingie @halsteadsway @malrunaway @grettiwrites @inlovewith3 @wanniiieeee @que-serasara

Matt Casey Tag List:

@life-treatments @queen-of-arda

[chitto]

TEARING APART MATPAT'S EDITOR WILBUR THEORY

We all know the theory. We all hate the theory. But what about it is so awful? Below is Matpat's theory along with my dissection of it. After that I go into my own theory of Editor Wilbur, but again that's just my opinion whether you agree or not doesn't matter to me.

Matpat’s theory:

R. and I. Fakier are two different ‘personalities’ of Wilbur. (Glasses being on vs being off.)

Wilbur has developed DID after the O2 incident.

His crucial piece of evidence is a voicemail from a mystery woman asking Wilbur on a date.

Finally the theory: Mystery Girl asks Wilbur to meet at a burger place, near the O2 in December. The Raven poem Wilbur reads ‘A bleak December’. Mystery Girl is mocking him, not really wanting to go out with him. Eulalie, another Poem, being about a lonely man feeling hole upon meeting a girl. Another poem. Mystery Girl tells Wilbur that it was all a prank and in a fit of rage, he pushes the girl into the ocean. Wilbur is unable to save her, as she can’t swim and her last words are ‘I’m so cold’. Annabel-Lee poem. The murder forces a mental break and forces Wilbur into hiding (the first video). Kai is aware that the mystery girl is missing and Wilbur wants Kai fired so the truth won’t come out. Wilbur apparently tries to push Kai into the ocean as well, but Kai is a strong swimmer so he’s fine (no evidence cited for this conclusion.). R. Fakier is the one who dies as he no longer has a place in the world because Wilbur accepts what he did. Final poem, Lenore, is meant to show acceptance of what he did. Matpat claims that he only cited three poems when in fact he mentioned five, making his Elle’s lovely three connection weak.

Tearing it apart:

Diving right in there is the obviously weak assumption that Wilbur has DID. I myself am not educated enough on it to give you a total rundown as to why this theory is poor but I can say the brief notes. Matpat claims Wilbur putting on/taking off the glasses is meant to show a change in his personality. This makes zero sense because even if Wilbur knew nothing about DID at the time, its commonplace to know a switch would result in even the smallest moment of confusion, not just a clean break where he would continue talking as he just did. Along with this, Wilbur himself stated that ARGbur didn’t have DID, disproving this part of Matpat’s theory.

Moving onwards, Matpat’s theory about the Mystery Girl is odd. Matpat claims to use a voicemail from Wilbur’s music channel as the inciting evidence of this event. I have scrubbed through every video on Wilbur’s music channel and couldn’t find this so called ‘voicemail’ Matpat mentioned. He claims to get it from a source named Christian, implying the video is deleted/unlisted which would make it most likely not a piece of the ARG as why would Wilbur remove the crucial piece of evidence for his ARG. Without this piece of evidence, Matpat’s murder theory basically falls apart. Ontop of that, Matpat says that later in the story, Wilbur tries to drown Kai aswell, but Kai survives because he was a strong swimmer. Matpat cites no source for this piece of evidence either, which makes it seem flimsy.

Hypothetically though, just for fun, let’s say that this theory holds up long enough for me to meet my next point. Kai. Kai’s involvment in this theory is weak at best. Matpat claims that Kai was in on the prank and then knew that Wilbur played a hand in her dissappearence. He then goes on to say that Wilbur wanted Kai removed from Jack’s channel so that he could ensure that Kai doesn’t use his platform to spread the news that Wilbur was a killer. But this begs the question, if Kai knew all along that Wilbur was a killer, why didn’t he say anything. We know from Wilbur’s POV that he thinks Kai has some sort of dirt on him. But we never see anything from Kai. Kai never makes any sort of attempt to expose Wilbur. Which leads many to believe that Wilbur was simply blowing events out of proportion due to his social awkwardness. Matpat also fails to answer the question of why Wilbur wants to be Jack’s editor.

The root of the series is Wilbur trying to fire Kai, yes. But because Wilbur wants Kai’s job. He’s trying to deplatform Kai so that he can get himself a platform and get his side of him and Kai’s meetup out.

On the positive, Matpat’s reasoning behind Elle’s Lovely Three is quite interesting but he ends up contradicting himself. He says the Elle’s Lovely Three alludes to three Edgar Allen Poe poems that connect to the main “story” of the ARG. These poems were Eulalie, Annabel-Lee, and Lenore. However, throughout that section Matpat mentioned five Edgar Allen Poe poems overall. The aforementioned three, along with the Raven and The Telltale Heart. I did want to like that section of the theory but it falls apart in context.

I suppose this is now when I go into my theory. Claim that I’m right and I know everything. Bring forward a new piece of evidence I found. But the truth is I don’t have any of that. I’m not a professional ARG solver or anything like that. But I’ll give my two cents. The Editor Wilbur ARG is not meant to be solved. Wilbur actively discouraged Matpat from attempting to solve it, not because it was too hard, but because it was supposed to be that way. From my perspective, I see Editor Wilbur as a take on bits and personas on modern day Youtube. From here on out when I refer to 'Wilbur' I don't mean the cc!Wilbur I mean Wilbur within the story. 'Editor Wilbur' will be used in reference to the character. Editor Wilbur was just supposed to be a one off. A joke. A bit on Jack’s channel for one clickbait video. But then there was fan interest. So Editor Wilbur came back. Again and again. But he needed to be interesting. He needed a story. So one was created loosely and hidden behind cyphers and puzzles. But all good things must come to an end. Wilbur started not liking acting as this bad guy anymore. The bit got old. And here I call forth the decoded message from the first geocache Wilbur did.

‘How could you. Jack. How could you. I knew this would happen yet it still hurts. It’s not all about views. Your cash cow has retired. Take me around back and put me out of my misery.’

Wilbur was done playing the editor. He was done pretending to be a man of mystery. But Jack wasn’t. Jack knew the videos were doing well so he kept Wilbur coming back, even as things grew stale. And so Wilbur grew deeper into the part he no longer wanted to play. The persona took him over. He became a method actor so to speak, the role of ‘Editor Wilbur’ never leaving him. In the Reddit video where he says ‘I don’t own reading glasses’ we know this to be false as many times we see Wilbur wearing reading glasses throughout the story. This is because Wilbur doesn’t own glasses. Editor Wilbur does though.

Editor Wilbur is a meta on personas in the Youtube field and how deep they go. Once a schtick becomes your claim to fame, it’s hard to leave it behind, no matter how burnout and old it becomes. Which brings us to the final Editor Wilbur video.

When it starts we hear the voicemails of many of Wilbur’s friends, asking him if he’s okay as they haven’t heard from him lately. This is because Editor Wilbur has taken over his time and schedule, leaving room for nothing else. He then says this, which I find to be the most interesting and crucial line in the whole ARG:

‘Jack Massey Welsh Sucks At Life by the time you’re seeing this video...the me you know will be dead. I won’t be dead. But the part of me who obsesses and whines and complains and creates puzzles and just doesn’t quite know how to handle emotions will be dead. And that’s okay. That’s fine. I’m tired of being cold.’

This line here proves to me the validity of my theory. The repetition of coldness is the feeling of isolation and loneliness Wilbur feels from acting as the villain. But he’s done. The persona is gone. It’s consumed too much of Wilbur and he’s tired. He’s killing his own character to let himself life. And Wilbur himself even admits it was all a schtick. In a later video on Jack’s channel where he let three random people edit his video, Editor Wilbur reappears. He writes in a pastebin link:

‘How do you let this slide, Kai. This Larry guy coming in and usupring your job. He even tried to do a lame “I’m on the run! Help me!” bit on Jack’s last Larry video. He’s a poser. He evokes lame memes and pop culture references in order to get laughs. It’s so anti-anglocentric. Then has the audacity to copy my schtick. For shame.’

To wrap up, Editor Wilbur is a meta take on personas on the internet and how quickly they can burn a creator out. People feel backed into a corner of ‘having a brand’ and get trapped. They feel cold. Content output starts to dwindle in quality. Until they leave with a dissatisfied taste in their mouth. The cash cow is dead. And so is Editor Wilbur.

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Six. Movies and Speedruns

warnings: swearing, many memes word count: 3.8k (not including pictures) (wow okay ash pop off!) 

behind the screen (irl!dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: LETS ALL JUST AGREE TO NOT LOOK AT THE DATES ON TWEETS AND STUFF BC SOME CHAPTERS ARE SO SCUFFED WITH DATES!!!! JUST KNOW THIS STORY STARTS MID NOVEMBER!!!!!!!! (in a world where covid doesn’t exist btw)

**********

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**********

Unknowingly and unintentionally, Y/n let out a big sigh as she poured a glass of water.

"What's wrong, Y/n?" Naomi asked gently, coming up behind her and hugging her tightly.

"Peter."

Naomi hummed, a sign that she was waiting for Y/n to lead the conversation so she could follow because if it were up to Naomi, she would immediately start trash-talking Peter and she wasn't sure if that was the vibe right now or not.

Y/n shook her head in disbelief as she jumped up to sit on the counter. "He got so mad when he found out I slept over at Karl's."

"I'm sorry, Y/n. I wish you would just cut him off completely."

"I don't know. I know I should but... part of me wonders if he could ever go back to how he was when I met him. I would probably date that guy again but not who he turned out to be."

Naomi looked horrified. "No. You sound like you're considering hearing him out. No, is that a joke? He's a bad person."

"I'm not," Y/n reassured. "I'm just thinking hypothetically. Probably because I miss having someone..."

"Y/n, you have a ton of thirsty people in your mentions. If you really want someone that bad, just scroll through, land on one and I bet they're a million times better than that sack of burned potatoes."

Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled lightly. "Most of those are jokes."

"Not all of them," she teased.

"I know you're going to tell me anyway so just say it. Who specifically do you think isn't joking?"

"Dream," Naomi sang.

"Okay, crazy." Y/n reached over, staying seated on the counter as she grabbed a bowl from a cabinet on her left. She then leaned all the way right, reaching as far as she could, but couldn't quite grab a cereal box from the top of the refrigerator.

Naomi rolled her eyes as she helped, handing Y/n the box. She even went the extra step to get Y/n a spoon and the milk because she was that nice. "I'm not joking. Neither is he. Karl and I have talked about it and we both agree."

Y/n paused at her friend's words, her hand hovering over the milk that Naomi held out for her. "You guys gossip about my love life?"

Naomi set the milk next to Y/n, tired of holding it out for her. "Of course? Like we don't do that about Karl? Or you and him about me?"

She couldn't argue there.

"Karl says there's a different vibe from Dream when you join calls and I believe it. I mean, I've seen it during streams myself so I can only imagine how much more obviously in love with you he is during private calls.

"That 'vibe' is Karl's delusional mind creating things. He's too scared to talk to cameragirl so he's projecting onto Dream and I."

"Yeah, okay," Naomi agreed sarcastically.

Y/n huffed. "Besides, he's in Florida. I'm in North Carolina, in case you weren't aware."

"So you're saying if you lived in the same state, you'd date him?"

"I didn't say that." She honestly had never thought of it. Sure she liked hanging out with Dream and her stomach got butterflies when he talked directly to her and he made her smile harder than anyone ever had and he—

And she didn't like him like that. She had only officially met the guy like a week and a half ago and she didn't know what he looked like. There was no way you could catch feelings for someone without seeing them.

Naomi's expression fell again. "Distance doesn't matter, anyway."

"I swear if you say something about George I will slap you," she threatened through a smile and Naomi gave her an innocent grin back.

"If you're lonely, get on Tinder, not Peter. Or get on Dream. I have no qualms with that."

"Peter isn't even an option, Naomi." Y/n sighed, ignoring the comment about Dream.  "Also," she swallowed the last of her cereal and set the bowl down with a clank. "I'm gonna tell Peter I don't want to be friends anymore. Dream and George can be added to the list of Peter haters."

"You talked to them about it?"

She nodded. "You know how I have little gossip sessions with George? Well, Dream was there too this time."

"Well, of course Dream would hate Peter. We've established that he likes you."

"No, no, you and Karl delusionally hypothesized that."

Naomi tapped the counter methodically, a sign Y/n knew to signal that she was thinking hard. "Somehow, one day, I'll prove he does."

"Good luck."

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"Yes," Y/n perked up. "Go pick something, I'll get blankets."

She went to her room, grabbing her favorite cuddling blankets. She started leaving her room when she heard a ding on her open desktop, signaling that she had a call incoming from Discord. Cool timing.

"I'll be just a second, Naomi!" she called across the house before dropping the blankets on her bed and sliding her headset on, answering the call from Dream. "Hi, Dream!" She sat on her chair and tucked her knees to her chest.

"Hi," he greeted sweetly. "How are you doing today?"

"Much better than when we last talked. How are you?"

"Great now that I'm talking to you," he said smoothly. Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled anyway. "Are you busy?"

"Unfortunately, yes. My roommate and I are about to watch a movie."

"Ooh, what movie?"

"Not sure yet. Any suggestions?"

"Dark Knight. Unless you wanted me to say, like, Tangled or something."

"Yeah, girls' night is exclusively princess movies. Do you know nothing?"

"Apparently," he said with a laugh.

"What's up?"

"Oh, well, I was just gonna see if you wanted to be on call later with me, George, and Sapnap while I stream speedruns, but you're hanging out with your roommate so nevermind."

"Oh," Y/n deflated. "That sounds fun."

"I can push it back if you want to be part of it. If not, that's fine. I just thought it would be cool."

"No, no, no I really do want to, but I don't want you to have to push it back. When were you planning on starting?"

"In about an hour."

"I'll just join later if you're still playing. If that's okay that I come late."

"No. You have to be on time or not at all," he joked. "Of course that's fine," he assured. "And if I'm not playing anymore, you can still join... we usually talk for forever after we play games and it's fun. I would, er, we would love for you to hang out with us."

Y/n couldn't help the large smile on her face from staying even after they hung up and she walked back into the living room with her pile of blankets. She couldn't help it even when Naomi pointed it out and asked why she was so happy.

"Oh, uh, I've been invited to join Dream and them later for a stream."

"That vague answer doesn't warrant the shit-eating grin you have."

Y/n shrugged and cuddled more into her blankets. "What movie did you pick?"

*****

As the end credits rolled across the screen, Y/n yawned and looked over to Naomi in the dark. She was out like a light. Y/n stood up and made sure Naomi was covered in the blanket and she had a pillow. She crept back to her room and slid her headphones on, pulling up Discord where she saw the three boys' names still in a voice call.

She pulled up Twitch on her second monitor and looked for Dream's stream. It was already about an hour in. She clicked on it and her headphones echoed with the sound of George and Sapnap laughing like they said the funniest thing in the world.

"Shut up," Dream muttered. "Guys, what were the coords for the portal? Seriously, come on."

"Nobody tell him," George joked.

"George!"

"Where's Bugsyyyy?" Sapnap whined. "I want her to make fun of you with us."

"Half the stuff we're making fun of him for is about his big fat crush on her so..."

"George!" Dream yelled again. "No, it's not!"

Y/n smiled as she heard that, knowing it was a joke but laughing at the way Dream laughed at the accusation. She knew it wasn't serious or else they wouldn't talk about it on stream. George and Sapnap teased a lot, but certainly, they wouldn't out someone's crush in front of a hundred thousand viewers live.

"Oh!" Sapnap spoke out loud as George laughed loudly, both reading the text at the same time. "Speaking of..."

Dream waited for either of the two boys to elaborate but neither of them offered one. "What happened?"

"Bugsy texted us," George said off-handedly, typing a response to her. "She's coming in a second."

"Oh."

"What do you mean 'oh'?" Sapnap laughed.

"You guys have a groupchat?"

"Aw, jealous?" George asked.

Y/n joined at that moment, the first sentence coming from her Discord instead of Twitch being from Sapnap saying, "Would it make you more jealous to know our group name is Bugsy's Boys?"

"No, Sapnap, that's the one with Karl," George corrected. "The one with just you, me, and her is Bugsy's Boyfriends."

"WhAT?"

"I still don't approve of that, by the way," Y/n commented.

"Bugsy!!" Sapnap giggled happily. "You're finally here!"

"BUGSY!" George cheered.

"Hi guys!" Y/n laughed at the enthusiasm she was greeted with. "Hi, Dream!"

There was a few seconds of silence before, "Dream!!" George yelled right before the death screen appeared on the Twitch tab still opened on Y/n's right screen. "You idiot, what are you doing?! Why did you throw that run??"

She covered her mouth with the hoodie collar and laughed. "Off to a great start, bud."

"NO!" Dream yelled, knocking something, or somethings, off his desk. "Noooo! I didn't throw it, George, I FELL! Oh, that was going to be such a good run."

"What happened? How did you miss that huge ravine?" George asked while laughing. "It was literally right in the open. You didn't even try to use your water bucket."

"I-I was... I was distracted."

"By what? The completely open field with nothing blocking your vision?" Sapnap criticized with a laugh as well.

Y/n giggled to herself before letting her eyes trail to his chat, which was filled with the same accusations and guesses.

user5: BUGSY!

user2: DISTRACTED BY BUGSYS VOICE

user4: imagine saying hi so cutely that you make a man fall into a ravine

user1: are they dumb? obviously bugsy saying hi made his brain short-circut

user6: guys stop it wasn't bc she said hi. it was the g i g g l e

user3: DISTRACTED BY BUGSY!!!!

user8: HI BUGSY

user10: how to kill a man: hire bugsy to giggle and say hi directly to him

Y/n immediately blushed and covered her face again. She really had a habit of hiding even when no one could see her.

"Oh my gosh," Dream groaned, leaving the world and starting a new one. "Oh. My. Gosh. That's so annoying. I was doing so good."

"Oh," Sapnap laughed. "I understand now."

"What? What did I miss?" George asked.

"Just read chat," Sapnap explained. "They have the answer. Dream, your chat is so smart. Thanks for solving the mystery, chat!"

"No, they aren't ri— that isn't true!" Dream defended. "Chat, shut up."

"You sure?" Y/n asked teasingly, watching as his character paused when she started talking. Was she really making him this flustered just by talking? Surely not. He was just playing into the joke. He continued playing without saying anything, which made George and Sapnap laugh more.

The subject eventually changed and the atmosphere quickly became more relaxed and chill. Tonight was not a feral night like George had texted in all caps.

"Hey George," Y/n started, biting on her hoodie string with a smile because she knew Naomi would hear this when she watched the VOD the next day. "My roommate says hello."

"Oh my gosh," he muttered, making her laugh. "Let it go."

"Wow, I guess that's one way to treat your fans..."

"Fine," he sighed. "Tell her I say hello."

"Well, not if you don't mean it," Y/n teased.

"Yeah, George, you sound so unenthusiastic?" Sapnap asked.

"He's just flustered," Dream commented. "It's okay George, you can have feelings."

"Dream, you fell into a ravine because Bugsy said hi."

"Oh, come on! That's not—I just— I missed the jump! That's it!"

"I'm not flustered or unenthusiastic, I'm just tired, okay?" George explained, ignoring Dream, a yawn spilling out of him to prove it.

Y/n smiled. "Well, you could always let me give her your number if you really want..."

"No. If she had Discord you could give her that but not my phone number."

"Wait, really?" Y/n gasped. "Seriously?"

George laughed lightly. "Yeah, sure, why not?"

"YES! Okay, a huge win for the girls. Well, a huge loss for the fangirls but a huge win for the girls of this apartment."

"Oh my gosh," he muttered and she could practically see him rubbing his face in embarrassment.

"I'll send you her hashtag when she makes one so you know who to add back."

"She's going to make an account just to talk to George?" Sapnap giggled.

"Yes, dude!" Y/n defended. "She at least wants to be his friend, let her shoot her shot!"

Dream ended the steam soon after, not being able to focus enough to beat the end on any of his runs. He had streamed for just under two hours so he seemed to be getting tired as well. George went to bed soon after and after 20 minutes of talking with Sapnap and Dream, Sapnap mysteriously disappeared.

Y/n was about to leave as well, not wanting Dream to feel obligated to stay on the call with her when he spoke up.

"Does Naomi actually like George?"

"Yeah, she does."

"Then I want him to accept her love."

Y/n laughed. "How is he with long-distance relationships?"

"Well, he and I do just fine..." Dream joked. "Oh, not what you meant. I don't know, you guys are the ones that talk about each other's love lives apparently."

"You're still bitter about that?"

"Yes!"

"Suck it up," she laughed. "Naomi would do probably anything to date him so I doubt distance is a problem for her."

"George's sleep schedule is completely messed up, so the time difference wouldn't matter too much. And when he comes to America they can meet in person."

"Wait, he's coming to America?" Y/n gasped happily. "When?"

"There's no set date, but yeah eventually. He'll probably just come to Florida but we've all talked about having a huge meetup with a lot of our friends."

"Oh... cool..."

"Bug? You know you'd be invited to that, right?"

"Oh, really?" she smiled.

"Of course. You're part of the group now."

"Sick," she muttered to herself, but he heard.

"Bug, you're one of my favorite people, do you know that?"

She blushed. "Really?"

"Really."

"You barely know me, Dream."

"Yeah, well, I know enough to know that I'm sorta attached to you."

"Attached to me? In what way?"

He suddenly sounded nervous as if his brain caught up with what his mouth was saying. "I don't know, nevermind."

"No, Dream, what do you mean?" her voice was soft and understanding and it made him feel safe.

"I just... I don't know. I care about you a lot. We met only, what, like a week or two ago, and I already worry about you a lot. Playing games doesn't feel the same anymore unless you're playing with us."

"To be fair, we have been tweeting at each other for much longer than a week or two."

"Yeah, that's true. But it's not the same as actually talking to you."

She smiled shyly. "I care about you a lot too, Clay." His name sounded strange as if it suddenly made everything much more serious. "Sorry, that just kinda slipped. I won't call you Clay if you don't want me to—"

"No, it's okay, it, uh, I like hearing you... say it. But, uh, you can call me whatever you want."

She smiled widely at the nervousness in his voice and the hard pounding of her heart. "I've heard from multiple people that you never stop talking about me."

He laughed timidly. "Maybe. Do you talk about me?"

"Ask Karl," she giggled. "My guess is yes." Her stomach felt tingly and her hands shook lightly. Why did she feel like this all of a sudden? It was late, she reasoned. That, or it was because Naomi had planted the seed of curiosity in her mind. Did Dream like her? No... right?

"I'm sorry if my chat was making you uncomfortable at the beginning when I died..."

"Don't worry, I wasn't uncomfortable."

"It was true, by the way," he paused, "what they were saying. Just... in case you were wondering."

Y/n couldn't wipe the smile off her face, which was growing painful at this point. "What, my voice makes your brain short-circut? That was one comment I saw."

Dream laughed. "More like your entire presence, but... yeah I guess so."

How is someone supposed to respond to something like that? The sweetness in his voice almost made her sick but in a good way.

And just like when he named her Minecraft flower something sweet knowing that no one would see it, why was he still playing up the joke when no one was around?

Not knowing what to say, she decided to let him in on a little secret. "If it matters, you're one of my favorite people too."

"It does."

There was a deathly moment of tense silence as if both of them were screaming to say something but neither did.

"Basically, if we do have a meet-up, I'll sue you if you don't come."

Y/n laughed. "My pockets are empty, sir, so... good luck."

He laughed and it was music to her ears.

"Are you not nervous to show everyone your face? Like, if or when we do all get together."

"Not really. Especially not if it's just to our friends. Are you?"

"Yeah," she admitted.

"Why?"

She sighed. "I'm sure people have me painted in a specific way in their heads and I've seen fanart of me that is way different and way more attractive than I am. I just don't want to let anyone down by not living up to their expectations."

"Bug," Dream said softly, "you couldn't let anyone down."

"You don't know that."

"You can't disappoint real friends or real fans with the way you look."

"To be clear, Dream," she laughed nervously, afraid she would sound conceited, "I don't think I'm ugly. I like the way I look. I'm happy with me. But that doesn't mean I can't still let people down."

"Different than expected doesn't mean disappointing."

His words smacked her in the gut. He was right. Reality and imagination are very different. Neither has to be better or worse than the other. She could look the complete opposite of how someone expects but that doesn't mean they will be either disappointed OR pleased. And why does it matter anyway? If she likes how she looks, who cares what other people think?

"It's also scary to think of getting recognized in public," she admitted. "Being recognized from the start is one thing because it starts off slowly with only a few people knowing your face but if the first time people see your face is when you have millions of fans, the recognition would be overwhelming."

"That's true. I don't think I would mind that much, though."

"Of course not, you're you."

"What does that mean?"

"You like the spotlight."

"I guess. Not all the time."

"Well, what about you?" she asked. "Are you afraid of people knowing what you look like?"

"No. I want to do a face reveal soon but I don't know how I would do it. I want to do it at some kind of event or something but I don't know."

"I need to schedule around when you do it because you'll break the internet. Give us content creators a warning so we can prepare to not get viewers for a week."

Dream laughed. "Oh come on."

"Twitter would just be full of the same picture of you in every single tweet."

"It won't be that big of a deal."

"Something tells me your millions and millions of subs say otherwise."

"Whatever," he said. "As if you wouldn't break the internet too."

"Maybe for a day or two. But you'd break everything for weeks."

"Sure." There was a long pause before Dream softly said, "Karl's lucky."

"How so?"

He didn't speak for a moment, almost like he wasn't prepared for that question because he didn't mean to be heard. "I wish I could know you the way he does."

"You could. He and I knew each other in person first so it's different. You and I could get there eventually."

"You think so?"

"I know so. I trust you a scary amount for someone I met weeks ago."

"I didn't mean to sound like I'm trying to pressure you into showing me your face or telling me your name. I didn't mean like he gets to know what you look like and I don't. I meant, like, I wish we could hang out in person because I prefer that over talking in Discord."

"I get it, Clay. I feel the same way," Y/n said softly. There were a few moments of silence before she spoke again.

"Oh, gosh, it's already four."

Y/n's head snapped to look at her clock, which read 3:57am. "Already?" she whispered. "Dang."

As if acknowledging the time changed the atmosphere, it suddenly felt like 4am. Her back ached from her shifting in her chair so much over the last few hours, never being able to find a good position. The house was eerily quiet and all she heard was the low hum of the heater. The house felt stale, not used to its occupants being so alert and awake at that hour.

"I should probably go to bed..."

"Yeah, me too," Dream agreed. His voice sounded tired. "Thanks for joining us, it was really fun with you."

"Thanks for inviting me. Sorry I made you die. Hopefully you'll still let me back again."

"You're always invited to barge into my streams. Actually."

Y/n giggled again and mentally slapped herself for sounding like a little kid. "Well, you too. You can interrupt my streams anytime."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Goodnight, Clay."

"Goodnight, Bug."

**********

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[dongofthewolf]

Hello! May I request a number 8 or number 11? She/her pronouns are preferred :) thx!!

I Despise That I Adore You

Abby Anderson X Reader

Prompt: 8. Hands brushing unexpectedly 11. Secret relationship

Warnings: swearing, fluff

Link to the prompt list here

A/N: I kind of decided last minute to write like 1.5k more words for this fic because uhhhh idk but I hope you enjoy (especially if you requested it) !!

A/N: I also didn’t realize you only requested one of the two prompts so I accidentally wrote both LOL but thanks for the request(s) !!

You have always had a very dichotomous view on life; you believed that you either liked a person, or you didn’t. It was a simple notion and a digestible one at that, but never did you think that a touch—a single accidental touch from someone you most definitely didn’t like, could wreck your world this way. 

You were at a briefing for an upcoming mission. It was a long, drawn out process that you dreaded, but what made it even worse was Abby. Okay, maybe not Abby specifically, but the fact that she could sit there at six in the morning and look so effortlessly beautiful, annoyed you more than you could say. Her outfit was the same as it almost always was; a simple grey tank top with green cargo pants and boots. Nothing extraordinary or outstanding, but you still couldn’t help but find it annoyingly attractive when she crossed her fucking enormous arms over her chest like that. God, she wasn’t even trying and you were losing it.

You didn’t like Abby—you couldn’t like her. How could you possibly like her when every single sign told you not to? She was stubborn and closed off, always shielding herself from the world with some serious facade you knew was bullshit. Maybe Abby did flirt with you occasionally and perhaps you did participate in it sometimes, but that all meant nothing. And anyways, even if you did like Abby (which you obviously didn’t) it would hurt you too much when she inevitably left you for someone prettier or cooler or smarter, and you didn’t need that right now.

Abby was all types of wrong and you knew that, which is why you were so utterly puzzled by this small, electric touch. It wasn’t even longer than a second, but as soon as it happened your heart felt like it had just been squeezed like a fucking lemon.

The briefing was finally over and you were quick to leave so you could actually get some sustenance for your body, and then it happened. You hadn’t even noticed that Abby was there when you dashed out the small exit of the military tent until you felt the smallest brush of her hand against yours. You paused to look back at Abby and she was looking at you too, and you swear it would’ve taken a damn machete to cut through the tension between those few, fleeting seconds of stillness. 

Your hand burned from where it had grazed Abby’s and you clenched your fingers into a fist to try and relieve yourself from the sensation. Promptly shoving your hand behind your back to hide it from Abby’s inquisitive gaze, you slowly backed away with your eyes still fixed to hers. And though there was a great amount of distance between the two of you, you noticed something in her stare. You weren’t sure if it was just your brain being stupid or manipulative, but you could’ve sworn you saw the slightest hint of endearment in Abby’s eyes. 

You tried to back away quicker but nearly fell over because of a stray root in the ground that you definitely weren’t looking at, and you could see Abby snort as she tried to hold back her laughter. Smiling nervously, you turned around and bolted towards the cafeteria. It was way too early for this.

Hoping to find some solace in a burrito, you practically ran to the cafeteria, but before you could even smell that lovely tortilla blanket, someone caught you. Abby was breathing slightly heavier than usual when she pulled you aside, practically trapping you against the wall behind you.

“Why are you running from me?” 

Abby’s arm was leaning on the wall next to your head and it took every ounce of willpower not to stare at her massive biceps. “I’m not running from you.”

“Um, I think the fact that I literally just sprinted after you, says something slightly different.” Abby used her other hand to brush a strand of hair away from her face. “So are we going to talk about it, or are you just going to run again?” 

You crossed your arms in front of your chest. “Talk about what?”

Abby gestured her hands awkwardly between the two of you. “Us—this. Whatever this is.”

“Abby, I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about, but even if I did, it wouldn’t matter. So if you’ll excuse me, I need to grab some food now.” You ducked under Abby’s arm and began walking away but her next words stopped you in your tracks.

“I don’t understand you, I really don’t.” Abby was pacing now, her hands moving wildly as she spoke. “It’s like… sometimes you’re cold and distant and running away from me, and I just kind of accept it. I mean, even though it’s not like I’ve ever done anything to make you hate me this much, it obviously won’t help my situation if I continue to flirt with you. But then the next day I’ll catch you looking at me in that way and-”

“In what way?” You interrupted.

“Seriously?” Abby cocked her eyebrow, her mouth curled into an annoyed smirk as she rolled her eyes. “You look at me like you’re not sure whether you want to pounce me or punch me in the face.” 

She said it so plainly that you were speechless for a second, was it seriously that obvious? There was so much going through your head right now, but the one thing that stuck with you was the fact that you agreed with her. Though it’s not like you could ever admit it, so instead you opted for some good ol’ denial. “I do not.”

Abby was quick to respond, like she had anticipated your answer. “You do, and you know what? I honestly have no problem with it. In fact, I encourage it! I mean if you weren’t so confusing, I’d have asked you out by now. You’re gorgeous and smart and a major badass on the field, but I just have no idea what you want from me.”

The last sentence threw you for a loop and before you knew it, your heart was doing the squeezing thing again. Did she truly think you were all those things? 

Thinking about it, perhaps your problem wasn’t that you hated Abby. After all, it’s not like the reasons you disliked her were of any merit anyways. In fact, you kind of admired Abby when she wasn’t being a cocky bastard, but that still didn’t mean you could date her. Sure, she was kind of hot, and maybe you found her just the slightest bit charming, but you couldn’t possibly put yourself on the spot like that. Not only was she all types of wrong, Abby was also your superior, and Lord knows the scandal that dating her would transpire. 

Finally finding some semblance of composure, you spoke hesitantly. “Abby you’re my superior and if people found out I- we just can’t, okay? I’m sorry.” You internally cringed at your words. It was such a stupid excuse but you still couldn’t help but fear the backlash you would receive for this. 

Abby took a second to think before speaking. “Can I ask you a question?” 

You didn’t say anything, just nodded your head slightly.

“Do you like me?” Abby’s eyes were sort of wide and almost hopeful, and you felt a slight tinge of remorse because you weren’t sure you could give her an answer. It was a simple question, but something inside you just couldn’t manage to form a proper response. 

“Whether I like you or not doesn’t matter Abby, we can’t be together. I’ve worked so hard to get here and I’m not going to be belittled or ridiculed because I can’t keep my emotions in check.” 

“So what you’re saying is… there are emotions to keep in check?” There was a hint of mischief in her tone and a smile on her face. You don’t think you’ve ever groaned so loudly.

“I did not say that.”

“It was implied.”

Abby chuckled to herself, taking a step towards you with every punctuated word. “Okay, let’s say that hypothetically you do have feelings for me, and that hypothetically I could make sure no one knew we were dating. Would you go out with me then?

You scoffed as you took a step towards her, your bodies now just inches from each other. “Oh yeah? And hypothetically, how would you do that?” 

“It's simple, we date in secret.” Abby said it so nonchalantly that you thought she was joking. It took a few moments of awkward silence before you realized that she was serious.

“You’re kidding? That would never work.”

“Um first of all, I’m always serious, and second of all, did you forget that we are literally trained to be stealthy? I think if we can handle clickers, we can handle a secret relationship. Honestly Y/N, it seems like the only problem here is that you’re scared of going out with me because…” Abby took another step towards you, backing you against the wall with her arms crossed in front of her chest. “you’re afraid you’ll fall for me.”

You were utterly speechless. You wanted so badly to respond with a snarky comeback or a cheap insult, but as much as you hated to admit it, you were totally afraid of going out with her. Commitment is horrifying and complicated and you’ve gone your whole life trying to avoid it. But now? Abby was offering you a simple solution and before your mind could begin to consider the downsides to this, you answered.

“Fine. But if we get caught, it’s on you.”

And just like that, your secret relationship with Abby began. 

--

It only took the first two dates for you to warm up to Abby—though you were incredibly apprehensive about all of it at first—it wasn't long before she had successfully charmed her way to your heart. And though you’d never admit it out loud, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t having at least a little bit of fun. It was thrilling running around with Abby like this; late-night dates, stolen looks during briefings, clandestine touches while passing each other in the halls, the way she seemed to be just a little bit more protective of you during patrols. You revelled in the way she held you when no one was around, when it was just the two of you. 

It had almost been two months, and hiding a secret relationship with Abby was getting surprisingly more difficult. You figured it was likely a product of the fact that after your first kiss, Abby couldn’t seem to keep her hands off of you. It seemed as though someone was somehow lurking around every corner of this damn stadium, and the amount of times Abby had to sneak out of your room in the morning before your roommate woke up was honestly getting kind of absurd. 

However, one major upside that’s come out of this deal is that you no longer despised briefings. In fact—now that you and Abby had this strange arrangement—you almost looked forward to mission briefings. The fondness for them was partly because you got to stare at Abby with adoration rather than anger, but mostly it was because you got to tease her like there was no tomorrow during them.

It was another early briefing and Isaac was droning on about… patrols? Or maybe it was borders, you weren’t really sure. Instead of focusing on his dull rambles, your mind was wandering elsewhere. 

Abby was sitting in the seat next to you, her legs spread out while she leaned her toned forearms on the table in front of her. Keeping your eyes focused on Isaac, you brushed your knee against Abby’s just slightly before letting your hand slowly creep closer to her leg. Abby immediately knew what you were doing, quickly turning her attention towards you with a small tilt of her head. And though your eyes were fixed on the man in front of you, you knew she had a cautious look on her face. 

A small smirk crept onto your lips as you let your hands make their way higher and higher till it was resting on her thigh. Letting it linger there, you traced little circles with your fingers, noting the way Abby covered her face with her hand to hide her expression before you gave her leg the smallest squeeze. Abby jumped in her seat and the whole room immediately turned their attention to her. Trying to hide her obvious freak-out Abby cleared her throat before asking some stupid question about intercepting the target while you did your best not to laugh next to her. When she finally finished rambling and the focus was off of her, Abby snuck you the smallest look, the kind of look that said “I’m totally going to get you for that later”. 

At the end of the briefing, you noticed Abby making conversation with Manny near the exit of the military tent and an idea popped into your head. You made sure to look straight ahead as you nonchalantly walked out the exit before letting your hand brush up against Abby’s while you passed by. It still shocked you sometimes; somehow after nearly two months of hiding your relationship, her touch still managed to send you soaring. The familiar burn against your fingertips from your not-so-accidental accidental touch still lingering on your hand like an imprint—her imprint. 

You looked back at her with a mischievous smirk on her face and she rolled her eyes before whispering something to Manny. Walking away knowingly, you were unsurprised when she cornered you behind a cement pillar with her hands on your hips and her mouth hungrily on yours. Abby spoke with her mouth still against yours, refusing to break the kiss.

“You know, for someone who was so adamant about having a secret relationship, you sure seem to enjoy attracting attention to us.”

You smiled into the kiss, your fingers moving to play with the end of her braid before giving it the smallest tug. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

Abby groaned and you chuckled at her expression when you pulled away from her lips, causing Abby to nearly face-plant into the pillar behind you. You giggled, smiling at Abby teasingly before feigning an annoyed tone as you turned away from her with your arms crossed. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to grab some food now.” 

[johnsamericano]

𝓓𝓪𝔂 3:

ѕυн נσнииу

23 days of NCT masterlist.

warnings: tooth-rotting shit, Johnny is a dick at the beggining, inexperienced reader, fem masturbation, it's kinda bad but I hope you enjoy.

taglist: @notbeforelong @curieouscapt @whathamelon @unknown5tar

“I’m going out with my friends tonight, don’t wait up for me.” He commented while slipping his black, leather shoes on.

“Drive carefully .” You answered as you popped a cup of instant ramen inside the microwave.

“Yeah.” You took a deep breath after the door closed behind him. Freedom finally.

You turned on the Tv, setting the volume louder than usual. Johnny didn’t like noise, to be honest, he probably didn’t even like you. He had so many house rules, you couldn’t even breathe without getting scolded by him. Not even three months had passed since your wedding and you already felt like you were in some sort of military camp.

“God, it smells so nice.” You murmured, pulling out the hot cup from the microwave and dumping the content in a bowl.

You ate on the sofa, another thing that Johnny hated, while watching your favorite series, enjoying your time alone. If it wasn’t for your parents, you would’ve never agreed to marry him, but they sounded so excited with the idea that you couldn’t refuse them, it wasn’t like you had a line of men waiting for you anyways.

You decided to have a little dessert, a mug cake, to be specific. You decided to make one for Johnny as well, the memories of you as kids eating all sorts of candies coming back to you as to mixed all the ingredients together. What happened to him during high school? All you knew was that he studied abroad and came back like a completely different man. He wasn’t your Johnny anymore. Of course, you were sad at first, but your sadness soon turned into anger as his attitude towards you got worse.

“Get lost.” Or “You’re so annoying.” Were some of the things you’d often hear.

You stopped trying after a semester, and it was quite healing to be honest. But then your parents had to bring him back to your life, and in the worst way possible. Nevertheless, they seemed happy, knowing that someone nice was living with you. Of course, they didn’t know the new Johnny.

After eating up all your food, you washed the dishes and laid down on the couch, your eyelids slowly closing as you drifted away. It wasn’t until a couple of hours later when a pair of arms woke you.

“Huh?” You opened your eyes a bit disoriented.

Johnny held you between his arms, carrying you towards your shared bedroom, which he almost never used.

“Go back to sleep, I got you.” He tucked you in with delicate movements. You could sense alcohol in his breath, but he wasn’t acting drunk at all. “Close your eyes.” He murmured as he felt your gaze over him.

“If alcohol was all it took for you to be nice, I would’ve poured some whiskey on your morning coffee every day.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at your remarks.

“I’ve been a bit rude to you, haven’t I?” He kneeled down in front of the bed, his thumb tracing the shape of your eyebrow. Now you were certain he was drunk. “I’m sorry, I still don’t know how to act around you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ever since you rejected me-”

“I’m sorry, what?” You frowned.

“You know, the letter I sent you when I was abroad...” He tried helping you remember, things getting clearer for him at your lack of response. “You didn’t get it, did you?” You shook your head. “Shit.”

“So you’ve been an ass to me for a letter I didn’t even get? Way to go, Suh.” Anger started boiling at the bottom of your stomach, sleepiness abandoning your system. “God, I wanna hit you so bad right now.”

“Please, do so.” He felt like a piece of garbage, having treated the girl he loved like his worst enemy for a misunderstanding. “But, hypothetically, if you had gotten that letter...what would’ve been your answer?” He fidgeted with the bedsheets, feeling your legs shift under them.

“I don’t know, what did it say?”

“I’m not gonna tell you what a lame 14 year old wrote to his crush.” He scoffed. “It was just a love confession, quite cheesy if you ask me.”

“If I had gotten that letter...” You cupped his soft cheeks, they were burning, probably because of the drinks he’d had, or maybe because of your touch. “I would’ve begged my parents to let me take a flight to see you, so I could answer to your confession in person.” His heart stopped, the answer he’d longed for so many years was finally about to slip from your mouth. “I did like you, John. But then you abruptly changed, and you hurt me so much during this past years.” Your words sounded unforgiving, and yet, you had the softest look on your moonlit face. “But I’m willing to let that go if you tell me what you’re feeling right now.”

He didn’t hesitate to pull your face closer to his, your noses slightly touching.

“I’m so glad you agreed to marry me, that way I get to spend the rest of my life with the woman I’ve loved for so many years. Only if you want that too, of course.”

“Will rude Johnny be back tomorrow morning?” You asked, your eyebrows knitted together.

“Rude Johnny’s dead.” His sweet smile encouraged you to finally shorten the distance between your lips. It was your very first real kiss as a couple.

Your lips fitted perfectly together, like two puzzle pieces. He was the first to make a move, placing his hand on the back of your neck to pull you closer as he climbed on top of your body. The kiss started getting heated, his tongue freely exploring your mouth as his hands got playful, softly kneading your breast.

The palms of your hands touched his well built pecs, a small gasp escaping your mouth as you realized how strong he really was. He was definitely not the skinny teenager you were in love with.

“What is it, baby?” He smiled, his cheeks turning slightly pink, your wide eyes looking attentively at him.

“Did you eat teenage Johnny or something?” He laughed, the prettiest and most genuine laugh you’d ever heard from him.

“No, but there’s someone else I’m surely gonna eat out tonight.” You smack his chest, a high pitched whine coming out from his mouth. “What was that for?”

“Don’t talk like that...it’s my first time.” He’d already guessed it by the fact that you’d never had a boyfriend or a proper date, but it was still shocking to hear it from your own mouth.

“Then I guess I’ll have to be gentle.” His long fingers started undoing the buttons of his dress shirt right in front of your inexperienced eyes, cockily smirking at the way you’d unconsciously bite your lower lip. “Can I ask something?” You nodded, eyes still glued to his half naked chest. “The day of our wedding...was that your first kiss?” You remembered the lame peck you received as soon as the officiant declared you husband and wife.

“Sadly.” He felt as if a hundred needles were stabbing his lovesick heart.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized, kissing your soft lips over and over again. “I stole your first kiss.”

“Then make up for it.” You raised your hips, your sensitive core meeting with his bulge and stealing a gasp from both of you.

His hungry lips attached to your neck, sucking several purple marks on it as your hands quickly worked through the remaining buttons of his shirt, helping him slide it down his arms. Even with the lack of light in your room, you could see his torso perfectly, the way his biceps would twitch as his hands slipped inside your shirt, thumbs caressing the soft skin of your tummy.

“Johnny.” You moaned, his hands moving upwards to play with your hard nipples.

“Turn on the light on the nightstand, I want to see you.” He murmured beside your ear, kissing the shell of it as you extended your arm to do as he said.

You blinked repeatedly, trying to adjust to the new illumination. Johnny looked even more ethereal under the dim, yellow light.

“Why have you got to be so damn perfect?” Your fingers traced his well-defined abs, mesmerized by the shape of them. While you were distracted drooling over his body, he took the chance to lift your shirt just above your round boobs, moaning at the sight of the two, beautiful mounds. Reality stroke you as you felt your nipples harden from the cold air. “Don’t look at me like that.” You avoided his eyes, your body growing hotter under his intense gaze.

“How do you expect me to look at the woman I love?” You turned to your side, shirt still lifted.

“Stop it.” Johnny loved how shy you’d always been around him, specially whenever he complimented you.

“No.” He pecked your cheek, hands going down to remove your shorts, stopping right before lowering the waistband. “Are you really okay with this?” You nodded, still refusing to look at him.

“Are you?”

“What a silly question, of course I am.” Without any further delay, he pulled both of the pieces covering your lower half down. You pressed your legs together, trying to hide your wet center. “Why are you hiding yourself from me, baby?” He mocked, hands caressing your round ass.

“I’ve never been naked in front of anyone.” He was quick to dispose his remaining clothes, wanting to make you feel more comfortable.

“Look at me.” His big hand was holding the side of your head as you turned back to him, trying your best not to look down at his manhood. “Open your legs for me.” As he was the experienced one, you decided to let him take the lead, slowly revealing yourself to him. “Good girl.” His praises only sent electric shocks right into your core.

“Are you gonna put it inside now?” Adorable, Johnny thought, using his finger pads to tease your inner thighs.

“No, I need to prepare you first. Otherwise, it might hurt.” He’d done it thousands of times, but it somehow felt different with you, as if he had to be extra careful to make sure you had the most pleasurable experience, even if it meant having to endure the stinging pain between his legs for a while longer.

He first used his middle finger to run it up and down your slit, satisfied at how wet you were for him. He talked you through every single one of his movements, making sure you were comfortable with everything he was doing.

“Johnny.” You whined, three fingers pumping in and out of your entrance. It was definitely different than when you did it by yourself, his digits reached deeper, delivering a new kind of pleasure. “I need you.”

He hummed, pulling out his fingers to grab the base of his dick. He ran the tip over your slit, your hips slightly bucking at the contact.

“Tell me when it stops hurting.” He was only halfway in when you asked him for a break, already feeling overwhelmingly full. “Don’t worry, take your time.” He said despite feeling the urgent need to move.

It took you a few minutes to recover, letting him bottom out. The pain was bearable after that first break, so you almost immediately asked him to move. Johnny started off slowly, both of his hands beside your head as he rolled his hips against yours.

“Does it feel good?” He didn’t even need a verbal answer, your facial expressions were more than enough to let him know just how good he was making you feel. “I’m not gonna last long.”

“Me neither.” You held onto his biceps, the knot on your tummy becoming tighter as he picked up the pace.

He lowered his face to connect your lips, both of you moaning into each other’s mouth as you reached your high, bare chests touching each other while you tried to slow your heartbeat.

“I wish this would’ve been out wedding night.” He kissed your collarbone, pulling out to plop down beside you. “Again, I’m really sorry.”

“Let it go already, John.” You hugged his naked body against yours, letting his hand play with your hair. “As long as you’re like this from now on, we’ll be alright.”

You didn’t even notice when your eyes started closing again, falling asleep beside your now loving husband. The next morning you panicked as he wasn’t by your side anymore. Had it been a dream?

“Good morning, sunshine.” Johnny suddenly came through the door, a tray with food between his hands. “You must be hungry after last night.” He left it on top of your legs, smiling naturally as if this was your everyday routine.

It was definitely gonna take time to adjust to this Johnny.

“Heart shaped sandwiches? That’s so corny, Suh.” You laughed, staring at your food with sparkly eyes.

“Hey! That took me two hours to make.” He went to the bathroom and returned with a hairbrush. “Your hair’s a mess, let me fix it while you eat.” He sat down behind you, slowly going through your hair as you stuffed your face with food.

“Does this mean I’m not gonna have to add whiskey to your morning coffee?” He chuckled behind you, pressing his lips to the back of your neck.

“That won’t be necessary.” He tied your hair up in a not-so-messy bun, lacing his arms and legs around your waist once he was done. “You look cute on my shirt.” You hadn’t even noticed. Probably he’d cleaned you up and dressed you right after you fell asleep.

“I look cute in everything.”

“Yes you do.” More kisses. “Now hurry up, we’re going out today.”

“Where to?”

“I’m taking you out on our very first date.”

[kpop-zone]

Itzy reaction to falling for a staff member

Yeji

Yeji didn’t know how you had managed to catch her attention in only a split-second, but she knew that it would be a huge problem. How was she supposed to look at the camera when the person behind it was the most stunning one that she had ever seen? While the PD was explaining to them how this filming day would go, Yeji couldn’t stop stealing glances at you. Everything about you was simply mesmerizing. Even her members started to notice her weird behavior.

“Yeji, where are you going? Here’s your spot. The PD-nim has just explained it to you. What’s wrong with you today?”

Ryujin asked confused when her leader walked into the wrong direction and Yeji bashfully walked to her spot.

“Of course. I knew that.”

She chuckled nervously, but her members stared at her suspiciously. They weren’t used to seeing her this unfocused.

“Are you ok?”

Lia probed concerned and for a moment, Yeji wondered whether she should tell them the real reason for her distractedness. Then, however, she figured that her little crush on you was too insignificant to talk about. This was a professional working environment, she couldn’t and wouldn’t let it show.

“Yes, I’m just still a little tired. But I’ll give my best now!”

Yeji smiled while holding her fist in the air to give her statement more meaning and her members copied her. They depended on her. So, when the shooting began, Yeji tried to stick to her promise. She wanted to be a good leader and role model. Sometimes, however, when the camera wasn’t focused on her, she couldn’t help but to look at you. And sometimes it even seemed like you were stealing glances at her too. But Yeji didn’t allow herself to read anything into that. The group would always come first, and she didn’t have any time for distractions right now.

Lia

“Honestly I can’t even tell you when it happened.”

Lia whined while letting her head fall to the table with a thud, causing Yeji to pat her back.

“Don’t be so harsh on yourself. The heart simply does what it wants.”

Her leader tried to comfort her, but Lia still couldn’t believe that she had fallen for you. You were just friends and co-workers one moment and the next, her heart suddenly wanted to jump out of her chest every time she saw you.

“What am I supposed to do now?”

Lia pouted in hopes that her members could save her from this unfortunate situation. They could always relay on each other, so Lia hoped that one of them would come up with a sparkling idea. But unfortunately, all of them just looked at each other helplessly.

“I don’t know. Tell Y/N?”

Yuna eventually proposed, causing Lia to gasp.

“Tell Y/N??? Are you insane? Do you know how many things could go wrong? I mean what if my feelings are one-sided? Or what if they aren’t? It’s not like we could date?”

Lia felt like crying. Her situation was plainly hopeless. The only thing that she could hope for was that her crush for you would eventually just disappear. Although she knew that that was a foolish hope. It was more likely that she would perish from pining over you eventually...

Ryujin

“Wow your skin is glowing today, Ryujin!”

You praised Ryujin as soon as you stepped in front of her to do her makeup, causing her to smirk to herself.

“Hm maybe it’s because my day got five times better after seeing you.”

She winked cheekily in hopes to make you flustered, but instead you mirrored her expression.

“Or because you’re drop-dead gorgeous...”

You stated confidently and Ryujin’s jaw dropped.

“What?”

She asked dumfounded, feeling how a blush rose to her cheeks. Clearly satisfied with the effect that you had on her, you grinned from ear to ear and Ryujin shyly looked at her lap. She hadn’t expected you to flirt back. For weeks now, she had used every chance to bluntly communicate her attraction to you, but she had never actually thought that you would reciprocate any of her feelings. Nervously, Ryujin fidgeted with her fingers when you lifted her chin up to start doing her makeup. Flirting with you was a lot easier when she had thought that she didn’t have a chance. Now -all of a sudden- she realized how much trouble she could cause the two of you if she would continue to pursue you. Therefore, she refrained from dropping more flirtatious remarks and thought about the different paths that she could go from here instead. She couldn’t really risk both of your careers for this... or could she?

Chaeryeong

“Hi Chaeryeong.”

Happily, you greeted Chaeryeong with a wide smile playing on your lips like every morning. But like every morning, Chaeryeong could barely manage to look into your eyes.

“Hi.”

Her voice was almost a whisper, causing a dark shade of pink to spread in her cheeks.

“What was that? Hi...”

Ryujin laughed loudly while mocking Chaeryeong’s thin voice. The other members joined into her laughter and Chaeryeong hid her face behind her hands in embarrassment.

“Chaeryeong...you really have to stop making an idiot out of yourself every time Y/N is around...”

Yuna giggled and Chaeryeong hit the maknae scoldingly.

“I’m trying! But when Y/N looks at me...ugh...”

She huffed frustrated, causing the other members to laugh even louder.

“Seriously though... Y/N is our manager. You really need to get used to their presence.”

Yeji looked at Chaeryeong with a serious expression before patting her back encouragingly when she started pouting.

“I know but I can’t help it. My heart starts racing every time Y/N smiles or jokes around with us or...”

Chaeryeong started gushing over you but Ryujin interrupted her.

“...just breathes?”

She giggled, causing Lia to punch her when she saw that Chaeryeong was almost dying of embarrassment now. Was she really that obvious? Were you aware of her feelings then as well? Mortified, Chaeryeong let her head rest on Lia’s shoulder, allowing the older member to wrap her arm around her to comfort her. Why did love have to be so complicated?

Yuna

“Hey guys? I have a few questions...”

Yuna asked casually as all of them were lounging in the living room, waiting for their managers to pick them up, causing the older members to make some acknowledging sounds while typing away on their phones.

“So...is an intern a full staff member? Like you know...do the same rules apply to them as to the managers?”

The maknae continued and Yeji looked at her with confusion written all over her face.

“Um...yes they are. They also need to sign a contract.”

The oldest replied hesitantly, clearly not knowing what Yuna wanted with that information.

“Hm ok. So... purely hypothetical, what exactly would happen if a staff member would date one of us?”

Finally, Yuna’s question caught the attention of everyone in the room and all the members dropped their phones to their laps at once. Suspiciously, they eyed the youngest member who tried to win their goodwill by grinning cheekily.

“Why do you want to know all that?”

Ryujin narrowed her eyes and looked at Yuna sternly.

“No reason...”

She replied sheepishly, but the others didn’t buy into her lie.

“This is about Y/N, isn’t it? Yuna, you’re not doing something stupid, are you?”

Lia exclaimed, sounding half panicked, causing Yuna to avoid her gaze.

“Well...”

She trailed off and her members groaned in unison.

“I knew it! I told you guys that she’s flirting!!”

Chaeryeong yelled as she leaped to her feet.

From one moment to the other, agitated chatter broke loose in the living room and a thousand different words hailed down on Yuna. She had known that her members wouldn’t be too excited about her confession, but she had still wanted to get their advice. Especially because she knew herself that a relationship with a staff member wouldn’t be ideal. After seeing the panic in her members faces though, she wondered whether it had been reckless of her to flirt with you so freely the past weeks. Maybe she should wait until after your internship would end...

[kravkalackin]

Lup was pretty sure she had a crush on the Red Robe. 

It wasn’t her fault, and she didn’t think anyone could really blame her for it. She hadn’t even realized it was a thing at first. Her breath speeding up, her heart racing, palms getting sweaty, those were all things that she could chalk up to fear just as much as she could to anything else. It would have made more sense for it to be fear. 

He was a floating robed skeleton who spoke in ominous whispers and foretold the end of days. Fear was the appropriate response. 

It just wasn’t her response. 

And other than the aforementioned factors, the Red Robe really wasn’t building up the fear factor. 

The first time they saw him had been in Captain Captain Bane’s office, and it had been plenty spooky at first. Then he had turned to her, and the carefully constructed mask had broken. 

“This is your... this is... uh,” he stumbled out, and Lup couldn’t help but smile nervously. 

“You good dog?” she asked, and she was pretty sure the specter was nodding. 

“Yeah, I just, uh, somehow managed to forget just how beautiful you are in person,” he said, the words coming out like he wasn’t thinking about what he was saying. Lup could feel all the blood rush to her cheeks, and she didn’t even feel beautiful right now. They had just finished the race, she was covered in dust and her hair and clothes were a mess, but despite that he seemed entirely sincere. The Red Robe only seemed to realize what he’d said when Magnus fucking wolf whistled. 

“I’m sorry, did you just hit on my sister?” Taako asked, sounding equal parts confused and offended. 

“I uh- this is your first lesson! Bye!” the Red Robe shouted, disappearing in a burst of flames and man, Lup would have liked to learn that move. 

“Well, that was freaky. You good Lu?” Taako asked, and she quickly nodded, trying to will her face into a lighter shade of red. 

“I’m good. About time someone realizes I’m the better looking twin,” she said, getting an offended huff from her brother. 

It kept on like that, every time they saw the Red Robe. It wasn’t like it was often, and he wasn’t like, inappropriate with her. It just seemed like he couldn’t help but blurt out some sort of compliment every time he saw her. 

If Lup didn’t know better, she’d say that the Red Robe had a crush on her. 

Except well, Lup didn’t know better. There was nothing to say that he didn’t have one, and there was certainly nothing to say she didn’t have one back at this point. 

She was down planet side now, not for a mission. She got a little stir-crazy on the moon from time to time, and now was one of those times. So she decided she was going to go down, buy some groceries and surprise everyone with dinner. It felt like a good day after all, it felt like a day where she should be doing something. 

She was walking through the market when she felt a swirl of magic around her hand. When she looked down, she was holding a rose. 

“That’s-” she started, quickly looking around. She almost didn’t see him, she wasn’t even sure if she was supposed to, but as soon as she caught sight of the flash of red in the alley she went sprinting after him. He was halfway down it when she got there. 

“Wait! Did you do this?” she asked, holding up the flower. The Red Robe spun around, somehow managing to look sheepish. 

“Sorry. You don’t have to keep it if you don’t want to,” he said, and Lup couldn’t help but smile at that. 

“You’ve got a thing for me, don’t you?” she asked, and the Red Robe actually laughed at that. 

“I figured that part was obvious,” he said, and so it was true. Sure, Lup expected, but somehow she didn’t think he’d just be so... upfront about it. Before she could think of some sort of witty response he continued. “I don’t expect you to feel the same, not... not like this. But I hope you might at least appreciate it.” 

“And uh, let’s say hypothetically, I did feel the same way, what then?” Lup asked, and the Red Robe somehow managed to look like he was beaming. 

“Oh? Well uh, hypothetically, I would love to take you on a date sometime,” he said, and this was a bad idea. This was a bad idea and if anyone ever found out she would probably be loved in a secret dungeon in the bureau for the rest of her life. 

“You busy now?” she asked, and the Red Robe shook his head. 

“I think I could squeeze you into my busy schedule of uh, being spooky, and floating ominously,” he said, getting a laugh out of Lup. 

“What are we waiting for them?” she asked, and she knew this was a huge mistake. She wasn’t dumb, she knew this could be a trick. It should be a trick. 

Despite that, she still found herself smiling as she held out her hand. When he took it with his own, barely there and phantasmal, Lup could feel her heart wanting to beat out of chest, feeling giddy and nervous and... right. 

She was in love with the Red Robe, and despite everything that felt right. 

[roger-that-cap]

tolerate it

part 2/2 of cardigan!

so, this is the follow up to my first ever one shot (guess not anymore LMAO) up here! i sincerely hope that you guys like this, because it was like pulling teeth for this one. every now and again i’d find a golden one and smack it in there and hope that one decent line made up for all the others.

natasha romanoff x fem!reader

this was the hardest thing ive ever had to write (simply because there was so much emotion in it and it was hard to reel myself back in just to cast out again) and i had to write a paper on nathaniel hawthorne.

warnings: pretty angsty for me, bittersweet, um- why do i write angst, DRAMATICS hahaha

word count: 4.5k!

would like to remind you that i do not own taylor swift songs! this one borrows a little from tolerate it, the best song on evermore imho (tied with coney island).

You knew that opening the door was going to be a hard part, but what you didn’t prepare for was actually listening to her. You could have stared at her for eternity in silence, just harping on everything good and bad that ever happened between the two of you. You could imagine a thousand different scenarios where the two of you were happy and none of this had occurred, but that wasn’t the case. She didn’t come to you to stare and leave.

“Thank you,” Natasha said, her voice throaty as she took a cautious first step into your space. Your space. It sounded weird, and you knew that it felt weird to her. You two had shared everything for the longest, and now you had your own place to live in. “Thank you for letting me in.”

“You came to talk,” you said, wrapping your arms around yourself protectively, and she didn’t miss the obvious tell of your body language. “I won’t make you waste your time. Say your piece, and then...” you trailed off, both of you knowing full well where you were going with it. 

“Can I just start with the fact that I’m so sorry,” she blurted, and you have her an unamused look as you sat on your couch, and she sat on the edge of it. “And that I don’t know why that happened. I don’t expect for you to ever forgive me, and I don’t forgive myself. I won’t ever forgive myself for hurting you so badly, and having such a lapse in judgement. I’m sorry.”

“What was it that was different?” You asked, the question that had been haunting you for a while now finally escaping your lips. When she gave you a confused look, you stared back at her. “What was so different about whatever happened on the mission?”

You didn’t ask what you did wrong, because you didn’t do anything wrong. It took you weeks to know that, weeks to come to the conclusion, but you knew. It wasn’t anything that you lacked, it was something that Natasha did. Whether it was loyalty, restraint, a moral compass, or even something else, you didn’t think that it was you.

“There was nothing different.”

You were trying to hold it together, but you knew that you were seconds from falling apart right in front of the person who had destroyed you. “You don’t have to lie.”

She made a face. “There wasn’t. There was nothing about her that was better than you, I swear.”

But there was nothing different. There was nothing different in the way that you held her to the way that Abigail did, then. There must have been nothing different in the way that you kissed her in the morning. Nothing special about how you would dance with her on the third of the month simply because you liked the number three. There was nothing special about the way you held her hand and rubbed her back and sometimes sang her to sleep when she needed it. And there was certainly nothing different or special about the way that you let her put her head on your chest, just so that she could hear your heart beating.

Maybe what you did was different or special to you and not to her. And maybe it was time for you to finally realize it, whether it hurt or not.

Your emotions were threatening to come through, and you couldn’t have that happen. “I thought you came to talk. Talking requires truth.”

“I did,” she rushed, and then she sighed and wiped her palms on her thighs. You knew what that was. Of course you knew what she was. That was her being nervous. “I just wanted you to know that I love you, I love you so much, no matter what you choose. I never meant for any of it to happen, and I hate myself for making you feel that way.”

“You knew what happened with the others,” you said, and you knew that she knew that you were talking about the men who used to cheat on you without thinking twice. You saw her wince. “You knew how I felt about dishonesty. You knew how long it took me to be fully trusting of you, and you ruined it for two months of fun?”

“I know I did.”

“Do you know that, Natasha?” You asked, your voice starting to raise a bit. “I trusted you, and then I gave you everything I had. There wasn’t a piece of me that wasn’t for you, don’t you get that? I painted a portrait of us with the best colors I had and you opened the door on me doing the finishing touches and threw black paint over it.”

She was surprised that you were actually allowing yourself to be angry, and that made you even more upset. You were allowed to be pissed. “I’m sorry,” she breathed out, a thin layer of tears in her eyes.

“I did- I had everything lying out on the table for you emotionally. It was wrapped so pretty for you when I helped you through your own stuff, and it waited until you were ready. There wasn’t a thing you didn’t know, not a secret kept from you. And I still can’t believe that you returned me being in love with you, with that.”

“It didn’t mean anything to me. None of it meant anything to me at all, I swear.”

“It meant something to Abigail,” you said, and you saw her flinch. “It meant something to the girl that told you that she loved you. And if I’m not mistaken, you told her the same. So did it really not mean something, or are you an even larger liar than I thought?”

“It didn’t mean anything.” For a spy, she was quite easy to read. Or maybe you just spent so much time knowing her that it was impossible to not know her inside and out. You knew her every movement that she made when she lied, and you knew what she looked like when she was telling the truth. This, this wasn’t it.

And it destroyed you.

“Don’t you understand how that feels? It feels like being cut a thousand times by the fancy blade that you made yourself. It feels like being bitten by your own dog. It feels like being nearly drowned in the oceans that you’ve swam in for forever. We were so close! We were so close that I was sure that we were predestined or some of that cheesy shit, Natasha. I could have sworn that we were meant for each other, but now I know that we were, because the betrayal that you did cut me down into a million pieces. That was something that neither of the others were able to do. That’s something that only you could do, and I trusted you not to do it. I never thought you could do it. I thought that you loved me far too much to pull the shit that you did.

“Maybe I was foolish enough to make the knife right in front of you, but I trusted you to know it was there and not use it against me. And you still stabbed me with it.” Your voice cracked and you could feel warm tears falling into your hand, but you didn’t care. You had to keep going. “How could you see me give and give and give to you, for you, and then tolerate it and go see someone else?”

She was breathing heavily after your rant, like she had spoken the words instead. A singular tear came down her face, and you thanked whoever was sitting above and watching for the crack in her mask. You were begging to see her half as emotional as you, half as hurt by her own actions.

You knew that it was different when you saw her wipe her tear. She never wiped her tears around you. You were the only one who got to see them, but you supposed not even you were allowed to see it anymore.

“I can’t even begin-” her voice cracked, and she cleared her throat. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I regret what happened.”

“How do you regret-” you pursed your lips and shook your head, closing your eyes for a second as your heart clenched. “How do you regret falling in love with someone?”

“I don’t love her-”

“Do you love me?” You asked.

“More than I love anything else in the entire world.”

“You loved her more if you risked me losing me, Natasha.” You said, and her brows shot up at your conclusion. “You know what would happen if you did that to me and I found out. You knew you would lose me, and you did it anyway. So you two must have had something special. Congrats.”

“No, you’re-”

The temper that you tried to keep in check was bubbling over again, and you realized that there was no checking yourself. “Do you know how long I waited for you and never cheated? Never had sex with anyone else, never went on a date with anyone else? For just as long as you were supposed to! And I managed! So what’s wrong with you?”

“Y/N, I think we should calm down a little. Let’s talk it out for a second.”

“I’ve been talking it out. All by myself, actually, because you’re too afraid to do a damn thing and admit that you fucked up for two months straight.” You closed your eyes again as you felt the hurt come back up. “How do I know it was just that time? How do I know that?”

There was a silence that spoke volumes. “You don’t.”

“And what if we got back together, after all of this?” It was hypothetical, but seeing the hope perk up in her sparked something that you hadn’t felt towards her in forever. Or, you had, it was just smothered by the heat of your fury. “How would I know that you aren’t off pulling the same thing you did earlier?”

“You’d have to trust me.”

“Well, I can’t do that. I literally can’t,” you cried out, putting your head in your hands and shaking you head. It was quiet except for the sounds of your cries, and it was ominous. There was never a quiet moment between you and Natasha, but you were dying out, fizzling away. You already had your Big Bang, now you were creating black holes that would forever remain on opposite sides of the universe. And you both knew it.

“You- you humiliated me,” you shook your head from left to right again, face still hidden. “You had an affair with a younger girl, you did it in front of the people I shared a living space with. You did it shamelessly in front of the people I cooked meals for every day, the people who’s fucking uniforms I ironed! They were my friends too, Natasha, and you humiliated me. You made them keep your dirty secret, did you apologize to them?”

“I haven’t spoken to them much.”

“I had to figure out from Pepper in front of the wedding dress store,” you continued, your throat tightening. “I was there getting the dress that I was going to walk down the aisle in. Everything was perfect, and then you did something that shattered what I thought couldn’t be broken.” You had thought that you and Natasha were rock solid, the hardest stone. You two were diamonds that sparkled and prevailed together, until you learned that you were truly just glass.

She leaned forward, giving you a look that you knew meant honesty. But it was far too late for that, and it wasn’t going to do Natasha much good now. “I wish every second of the day that I didn’t do it, Y/N. Every second of every day.”

Your lips turned into a scowl. “Wishing doesn’t do anything for us. We’re not little kids and we’re not princesses.”

That word, wishing, must have been the one to do her in, because she was sobbing right into her own sleeve, an arm covering her eyes from your sight. Your tears were subsiding, and you watched her with thinly pressed lips. Watching her cry was never pleasant.

“I’m so, so sorry. I can’t- I can’t imagine how you must feel, but I’m so sorry. I don’t know why- I can only apologize to you and beg that you’ll welcome me back to you, where I’m supposed to be.” Your eye twitched as you listened, and told yourself to keep your strength up. “I fucked up. I fucked up so bad, baby, but I know now. I know who I’m meant to be with, and it wasn't her. It’s you, it always has been.”

You knew that. You had always known that. It was a fact, something that had always rang as true as the beating of your own heart. You knew that it was written in the stars for you by some gracious god who decided to reveal what could have been your present and future to you, but you guess the other half of the tale never saw it herself. She knew now, sure. But she learned a little too late for your taste.

“Please, you have to know. You have to know that I didn’t- that I would never do it again.” 

How could you tell someone that their apology wasn’t enough? How could you reject someone when they were at their lowest point? How were you going to find the strength in yourself to turn down the woman that you still very much loved? The one that you thought that you lost to another was right in front of you, begging for a second chance, but was it right for you to give it to her?

But how could she see you at your most vulnerable every day and know that you loved and cared for her with your whole heart and still do what she did? How was she okay with ruining you after all that you had been through? How did she not feel bad for two months about betraying the one person who she knew would be forever in her corner?

Whatever her method was to do things that hurt the people she supposedly loved, she found a way. And so would you.

“Have you said what you needed to?” You asked, your tone slow and deliberate as you fought for your tears not to ruin your words. Just as slowly, she nodded. “Then, please leave.”

A noise left her throat. “Please, wait. Wait.”

“There’s nothing left to say, Nat. We said it all.” You stood up, and she followed. “Fix your relationships at the tower, alright?”

“Don’t,” she muttered, tears streaming down her face. “Please don’t tell me that you don’t want to try and then act like you care about me.”

You both walked to the door, because you knew that I the end she would do what you asked of her. “We were friends first.” You insisted. “We were friends first, Natasha, so I care. So, because we were friends first, I’ll tell you to get better. Work on yourself. Fall in love with someone else. Maybe not with two people at the same time.”

Her face was utterly pitiful. Her eyes were watering in a way you had never seen them do before, and her hands were shaking. You had seen the most of Natasha that anyone had in the entire world, yet you had never seen her so torn apart, so open. She laid it all out for you like you had been doing for her for years, and now you were finally the one to ruin the pretty picture. “Please.” 

As soft as a gentle breeze came your next word. “No.” You yanked your apartment door open, and then you were both shivering. She looked up at you, her face full of an expression of the most shattered you had seen her yet, and the part of you that still ached prayed that it would be the last time you would ever see her at all.

Your body moved on its own. It asked for one more point of contact, just one more before you deprived yourself from the person you loved the most. Your lips pressed against the crown of her head as you told yourself it was for your own good. Your eyes shut as you put your hands on her shoulders, and tears were turning spots of her red hair dark. She was shaking underneath you, crying even harder than you were. You pulled away from her and opened the door wider.

“Wish you all the best, Nat.”

She walked away, off of your porch and into the night. You shut the door.

§§

You figured that you would miss her, but it wasn’t as bad as it was in the early part of leaving. By the time you moved on, it was far past the date of the wedding and even further past your anniversary. Sometimes it still hurt to think about how your life could have been had she chosen to stay faithful, but you learned that the scenarios hurt more than they helped and stopped.

You had a steady job, could keep up with the rent on your apartment, had enough for groceries and even had spare to get your nails done if you wanted to. You were doing it all, and you were doing it well after being attached at the hip to someone else for years and years.

There was a time where you would have thought that living without Natasha would be excruciating. The first night after you stormed out and cried yourself to sleep, you were sure that it would be painful, every night without her next to you would be like a stab in the gut. But after a while, it really wasn’t.

At first, it was. You missed her terribly, and, a part of you still did. You missed the good things that happened, but you realized that the good didn’t erase the bad, and that the bad didn’t erase the good. So, after a long time of thinking about her, your stance on Natasha Romanoff wasn’t hateful, or upset, or vengeful. You barely had one.

You thought about her and saw a book that you had finished reading a long time ago. Impactful at the time you read it, of course, and it could leave a longing imprint, but it was over. You could never relive that exact moment ever again that you read her, not a good one or a bad one. The hardest, most intense part of it was over, so far behind you that you could breathe again. 

And damn, did it feel good to breathe. 

§§§

Seeing her was awkward, and it was something that came straight out of your outdated imagination. You were by yourself buying apples at the market that you always went to because you adored fresh fruit, checking for bruises on them that were never there. You were carrying four in a bag with a content look on your face, just walking around and looking at other fruits and vegetables when you felt someone’s eyes on you. You looked up.

Sam Wilson was looking right at you, his jaw a little slack as he recognized you. You hadn’t seen him since you stormed out of the compound god knows how long ago. Within seconds, your life at the tower and memories with him flashed in your head. You two would cook together side by side often, and that's where you would do most of your bonding and talking with him. Your heart clenched for a moment, and then you raised the hand that wasn’t occupied and gave him a wave and a half smile, one that you hoped told him that you weren’t angry.

You looked back to the vegetables and then at the sign on the table. Damn, that’s kind of expensive. You shrugged your shoulders and put the greens on the weighing machine anyway, and pulled the money out of your purse for it. You smiled at the vendor and left with your new bag, wiggling your eyes at the strawberry table and starting your approach. 

“Hi,” an achingly familiar voice called out while you were steps away from the table of deliciously red strawberries. You could smell them from where you were at. You turned around still, even after easily identifying who the voice belonged to. “How are you?”

She was as beautiful as ever, the top of her head under a blue ball cap and her eyebrows perfectly done. Her eyes were hidden by shades, but you didn’t need to see them to know what she was thinking. Her arms were loose at her sides, but her fingers were moving strangely, and you noticed them immediately as her nervous tick. You took in a deep breath. 

“I’m good, how about you?” You asked Natasha back, and she gave you a pained smile.

“I’m alright.”

“Oh, sweet,” you said, and then gave her a parting smile before turning towards the strawberries.

“Wait,” she called out.

You stopped and turned your head, even though you wanted more than anything to forget that you ran into her. “Yes?”

There was a moment of silence between you two, and then she took a step forward. “Are you still upset?” She asked, voice lower in volume than usual. 

You almost scoffed at her. “I’m an adult, I can’t really be sad for long or I’ll forget to pay a bill or something.”

“Can we talk?” She started, and you held up a hand.

“Let’s not open up old wounds,” you said, already knowing exactly where she was going with all of her hesitance and fiddling with her thumbs.

“I need to apologize for what happened.”

You shrugged. “I forgive you. Actually, I forgave you weeks and weeks ago. It’s okay. We can move on from it.” We need to move on from it. 

You saw your old lover’s face light up in just the slightest, but just as fast as you saw it, it was gone. Her lack of wanting to express to you didn’t hurt anymore. “We?”

“We can move on,” you repeated, “just not together.” Her face dropped at what you said, and you shrugged your shoulders. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, I fucked up.”

Yes, you did. “It’s in the past now.”

There was a pause, and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. You wondered when your heart started to beat on its own again and not for the woman standing so close yet so far away. You wondered when you started to do anything for just yourself, and you wondered when you had stopped doing that in the first place. Her voice brought you out of your thoughts. “Is it?”

You almost had to ask her to remind you what the conversation was about. “Oh. It is,” you said gently, but your voice was still stern. “All good things must come to an end, and what we had was good. It was great, and that must have meant that we were destined to end fast.”

She shook her head slightly. “If you- if you forgive me, it doesn’t have to be over.”

“It does.” You looked at your phone and sighed. “I have to leave.”

“Okay,” She said softly after a moment, and finally took a step back. It was a small one, like her body was trying to override her brain. “Okay.”

“I’ll see you, Nat.” You saw her wince, and if you hadn’t made peace with everything, you would have, too.

She took another step back and cleared her throat, just as Sam started making his way over. She nodded at you, and you gave her a small smile, almost encouraging. Just walk away, this is the last time you’ll have to do it. “Later,” She said, her voice a little hoarse as she turned on her heel and walked right past Sam.

“Later” meant never. And you didn’t know if you were supposed to feel nothing or everything about it.

§§§

The last time you saw Natasha Romanoff was a year later, when you were holding hands with a pretty woman from an art show that you went to. She stole your heart with her work, and she turned out just as beautiful on the inside as she was with a brush, and on the outside. Her name was Julie, and she was great. She was honest. 

You really liked Julie. She wasn’t Natasha, though, and it was both refreshing and saddening, because you knew that what you felt with Natasha was a one time thing. You two had one chance to keep the bond that was seemingly inseparable and stronger than steel together, and everyone was rooting for you. And then, it just fell apart.

You knew that Natasha was your first actual love, and the only person who was ever going to be able to love you emotionally like you needed to be. The two of you were, in your mind, made for each other. If soulmates existed, Natasha would have been yours, and you would have been hers. You knew that even five years after not being with her, and while the hole in your heart wasn’t hollow, you had a feeling that a little something was always going to be cold, like a cavity that was never filled. Someone saying her name or asking about her was like chewing ice on it.

But people moved on. Just like you did. And you had moved on from the beautiful yet icy mountains of Natasha and into a soft and whimsical meadow, and that meadow was Julie. 

You were holding hands with Julie, arms swinging as you were leaving the donut shop and talking about silly things that made the both of you grin when you caught a familiar flash of red. Out of instinct, you looked over your shoulder, and what you saw made you freeze.

Natasha Romanoff was with a girl with brown skin and black hair that was glinting in the sunlight, and she wasn’t focused on the way that you and Natasha locked eyes in that moment, the moment that seemed to last years. You didn’t think you were still moving, and it certainly didn’t feel like you were taking a step, but you were. You saw her blue-green eyes blink at you, and like you were still stuck on the same wavelength after all that time, you both raised a hand and gave a timid wave, small smiles gracing the both of your faces.

You saw the girl tug lightly on Natasha’s arm, and your grin stretched. Natasha looked over at the girl, and an immediate smile, one similar but not quite the same as she used to give to you, was on her face. You turned your head forward, a light smile still on your own face as you watched it all happen in a split second.

You both kept walking.

*****

ahahaha wow, that hurt really bad actually - never doing angst again i’m a fluffy type of gal

so i’ve never done a taglist before! so i hope i’m doing it right otherwise this’ll make me look incredibly dumb-

@messuhp @username23345 @fishlikestuff @thelastavenger-3000 @grievingfortheliving @madamevirgo @dontmindmejustreading @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @sourpatchspinster @fayhar @sarcasticallywitty15 @normanijauregui

[morkleemelon]

nct ideal types 2021 :: dream

127 version | this has been on my mind for a bit and I wanted to write it down- these will consist of confirmed facts and then my own thoughts. the latter part is, as it sounds, strictly from my opinion and observation and may well not be accurate. this is just for fun! proceed~

mark lee:

confirmed: likes someone with long black hair who is nice (on air nct show)

my thoughts:

he moved to korea to train when he was like 13 and has been busy as a bee ever since. I don’t know his life but I feel like he hasn’t really had the chance to date much if at all yet. this brings me to think he would prefer someone who can lead in the relationship

he grew up christian and seems to still hold those ideals. although if he really liked someone it wouldn’t be an issue, this makes me think he would be drawn to someone with similar ideals

he laughs a lot and gets along well with people who are funny (haechan, yuta, jungwoo). I think that he would like someone with a good sense of humor

he doesn’t spend money lavishly and prefers to use what he has (i.e. the jansport backpack, not having youtube premium, keeping all the gifts he receives in his bag). all of this points to him preferring someone modest and not wasteful

mark got jisung a bracelet that costs over $1000 for his birthday (what a good bro I’m cry). he likes songs like ‘I got you’ by Bazzi (mark superm quarantine playlist) which is about spoiling a girl. this all makes me think that although he is frugal for himself, he likes spoiling others and would like to spoil his significant other

From Japan official book vol 1, mark said he wasn’t sure what his ideal first date would be, but he answered that it would be to go to a restaurant and have a good meal because he likes eating. So someone who’s down for simple dates and perhaps also good at cooking (because our boy can’t even make an egg)

From the same magazine, he said he doesn’t care about fashion and would like his partner to “wear what she likes”. Doesn’t seem like he goes for style much!

huang renjun:

confirmed: n/a

my thoughts:

I strongly feel like he would want to feel like the ‘man in the relationship’. he would want to feel protective over his partner and that’s why I think he would adore someone smaller than him

he’s full of chaotic rage energy (in the cutest way that would never actually hurt anybody). to balance out these vibes, renjun would match well with someone calm and sweet

looks-wise besides being a petite person, I can envision someone very cute, probably with shorter, un-dyed hair

renjun is into sci-fi movies and shows and confirmed he believes in aliens (weekly idol). I think he’d be drawn to someone with a big imagination who likes sci-fi as well

lee jeno:

confirmed: n/a

my thoughts:

jeno is really really shy (when he met yeeun from clc to mc together, they said they couldn’t even talk at first because it was so awkward). I think jeno would like someone more outgoing but not overwhelming

I feel like his ideal type is literally like renjun- a little fiesty and literally, little. jeno has mentioned that he loves renjun’s voice too, so perhaps he would be interested in someone with a nice voice

he works out a lot and likes physical activities like biking and going to the gym. I think he’d like someone who values fitness and health too

he loves animals and has 3 cats of his own despite being allergic. because of this, I think he’d like a person who loves animals too

lee haechan:

confirmed: someone with a nice voice/ singing voice. someone with shorter hair

my thoughts:

he’s so extroverted and craves attention from whoever he’s around, and that wouldn’t be an exception for the person he likes. he’d want someone who looks up to him and gives him attention

he’s still really young and even enjoys movies like the kissing booth (I’m sorry I had to bring it up because I think it’s important). ignoring the actual bad parts of that movie, I think he’s interested in that young love, dancing together at the arcade, kissing in the rain, come over to his house in secret, type relationship

haechan seems to be especially close friends with foreign swaggers line (mark, johnny, jaehyun) so I’m thinking that perhaps he likes the western vibe

during oshiete Japan, he and Yuta were the only ones who chose to give three roses to a hypothetical ‘lover’ (they had to choose between 4 types of roses to give). the psychologist said that this means haechan is “flirty and attention-seeking” which makes a lot of sense. this adds to my point that he would like someone who gives him a lot of attention and good reactions

during a recent fansign (1/23?) OP asked “what are things girls do that makes you flattered?” to which he answered “when I did something wrong and get scolded, that scary look makes me flattered”. although it’s a bit awkwardly translated, this insinuates that he likes it when he gets scolded by a girl. *jaemin voice* sexayyy. thus, I’m adding that haechan likes a someone strong headed and not afraid to scold him

na jaemin:

confirmed: n/a

my thoughts:

he has a sort of 180 personality where he’s either really energetic or prefers to be in the background. jeno says that jaemin hardly talks at the dorms after schedules because his social battery is dead. this is classic introvert behavior so I think he would vibe well with someone patient and calm

he’s the sweetest boy and he volunteers often for unicef and was even cast to sm while he was volunteering. he’d appreciate someone who shares similar values and likes helping others

I think he often doesn’t think or worry about himself. he goes out of his way to please others and help others and often disregards what he actually wants because of it (i.e. taking his shirt off at the dream show even though he was uncomfortable I’m so sad poor baby). he needs someone who is thoughtful and who reminds him when it’s time to stop and think of himself

looks-wise, I’m gonna be completely honest when I say I think he doesn’t go for looks. personality and morals are key

his favorite member of snsd is tiffany. he never confirmed if she was his ideal type, but perhaps he’s attracted to her bubbly, girly personality

zhong chenle:

confirmed: he’s only into girls (vlive)

my thoughts:

this may be a stretch, but in a live he was doing, chenle was talking about which member of wayv princesses was the prettiest. he said something along the lines of ‘ew they all looked weird’ but later admitted that kun was probably the only one who ‘looked okay’. kun was snow white which brings me to my first prediction which is that lele likes the classic chinese beauty (black hair, pale skin, elegant, gentle)

chenle loves winning and he loves to be praised. although his mbti shows that he’s an introvert, he would crave the full attention of his s/o. someone who looks only at him

during the from home live, he was asked to act out a scenario where he accidentally ate his girlfriend’s food. haechan (who was acting as the girlfriend) went “buy me 10 more” and chenle just went “okay :)”. ngl, kinda fell in love with him then but this makes me think he’d want someone to spoil

park jisung:

confirmed: likes it when people call him 오빠 (oppa) - take this how you will

my thoughts:

debuting at 14, I’m quite sure he hasn’t had the opportunity to have a relationship yet. this being said, he also seems quite innocent and shy which is why I think he would prefer someone who knows what they’re doing and isn’t afraid to speak their opinion

just from vibes, I think he would wanna be with someone like a best friend to him. someone who’s down to just hang out and talk, play video games and watch movies etc.

he’s quite tall (the tallest in dream) so I think he’d actually be ok with a tall person maybe even around the same height as him

maybe not a definite need, but I feel like he’d be impressed by someone who can dance well since dancing is such a big part of his life

[kaistarus]

Caught In The Act

Pairing: HinataxReader

Words: 3K

Summary: You don’t really plan out the consequences of hooking up with your roommates best friend until she walks in on the aftermath and everything spirals into disaster

A/N: I don’t think this is NSFW, but it’s heavily implied/referred to throughout? It does however have Yamaguchi being a little shit which is *chefs kiss* my favorite kind of Yamaguchi

Masterlist

The worst melody you’d ever heard sounded throughout your room, dragging you from a peaceful dream you’d already forgotten. Groaning, you attempted to block out the sharp ringing with your comforter, but scowled when your tugs were made useless by an unusual weight. You blearily peeked down in search of the problem and froze, your heart's acceleration jolted your brain into alertness.

What you discovered to be holding your blanket down was a whole ass arm across your stomach with a whole ass person attached to it sleeping beside you.

You tried to keep your breathing even as you grasped the reality of your situation-disheveled autumn hair brushed lightly against your shoulder and soft breaths tickled your arm. It’d be easier to admire Hinata’s content features if you weren’t having numerous flashbacks involving embarrassing noises, words you didn’t think possible coming out of your mouth, and several explanations for why your legs were so sore. Your face burned as you stared at Hinata’s peaceful expression in horror and jumped when the back-up alarm began ringing.

At your sudden movement Hinata’s nose wrinkled and he began squirming uncomfortably. He furrowed his brow, opening his enough to peek at you holding your breath beneath his arm. You could see the cogs turning behind his amber eyes as they darted around the room and took everything in past their sleepy haze.

Finally, they landed back on you and he gave you a lazy smile, “hey.”

Your heart picked up its pace at his morning voice’s low rasp, and rather than having any normal reaction to your situation you flung your limbs at him to shove him as far away as possible. Hinata yelped as he tumbled over the side of your bed, hitting the hardwood floor with a solid thump.

“What the hell?” He poked his head over the side of your mattress with a half-assed glare, punctuating his question with a deep yawn. It was hard to take him seriously with his wild bed head and half-lidded eyes.

“Your alarm keeps going off,” you answered lamely, trying to fight down the amusement at how even after he combed his fingers through his hair it remained a chaotic mess.

“Oh,” he used your bed to push himself up, stumbling a bit as he began searching for where his pants ended up. Your eyes widened when all of him was in sight and you pulled the comforter up to shield your eyes. “Sorry, I forgot that I have to-what’s wrong?”

“You’re not wearing clothes.”

“Obviously,” you heard the creaking of your dorm’s shitty floorboards as Hinata moved around the room. “Is that bad? I feel like at some point you saw my-”

“But now we’re in the daytime,” you looked at the floor around you and sighed in relief when you found a t-shirt nearby to put on. Now you just needed pants… “Everything is completely different when the sun is out.”

Hinata was silent for a while and if it wasn’t for the hardwood flooring giving him away you would’ve thought he snuck out. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It’s hard to explain,” you said, coming up for air after you heard Hinata stand beside your bed. He held out his sweatpants to you with a lopsided grin that made your heart do a weird flip. “Thanks.”

He shrugged it off, sitting beside you on the mattress as you wiggled into his sweatpants. “I have to practice with Kageyama in an hour. Do you wanna go to the dining hall or something?”

You raised a brow at his nonchalance, sitting beside you just scrolling his phone like things were completely normal. “You want to go get food?”

“Yeah, I’m hungry.” He gave you a quick once-over and smirked. “Why did you wanna do something else?”

“No,” you put your hands in front of you and ignored the slight pout on his face. “I just figured you would want to talk or something.”

“Oh,” he fiddled with his cellphone and stared at anything that wasn’t your eyes. “No, we don’t have to make it a huge thing if you don’t want to.”

“Okay,” you nodded to yourself. “I mean, it isn’t a big deal anyway. We’re friends and this stuff just happens sometimes.”

Hinata now faced you completely and he was giving you his classic sunshine smile. “Exactly, this is definitely normal for friends.”

“Right, so why even waste energy worrying about something that meant absolutely nothing.”

Hinata’s smile faltered a bit and you were too aware of how his eyes had drifted to your lips. “Uh-huh, totally nothing.”

“It’s probably best if no one finds out though,” you nodded to yourself, warmth creeping up your neck from the growing intensity of his stare. “Just because it would be annoying explaining this to everyone.”

Hinata hummed, tilting his head with a curious look that had you fisting your comforter. “So, hypothetically, if it all means nothing and no one even knows about it…” Hinata had at some point scooted himself a little too close for your liking, his face inches from yours. “There would be nothing wrong with doing it again, right?”

You narrowed your eyes at his challenging smirk, “I feel like there’s some logic missing there.”

“But the end result is pretty good,” he said, barely above a whisper, pressing his forehead against yours. You couldn’t argue that. Not with how your heart was beating sporadically in your chest and your fingers were already itching to be tangled in his hair.

“Careful,” you whispered, trying to match his overconfidence, “keep acting like this and I might just start thinking it means something.”

Hinata rubbed his nose against yours lazily while forcing down a smile, “is that a no?”

You answered by placing a hand against his cheek and slotting your lips together. The pace he set was much more languid than last night and you felt a soft smile grace his lips as he cradled the back of your head, beginning to lower your head on to the mattress. The moment Hinata decided to hover over you was when you heard the door to your dorm creak open.

“Hey, sorry I’m back so early. I forgot about our exam tomorrow.” Yachi shouldered passed the door with her back facing you carrying a hefty duffle. You and Hinata reacted in the only logical way-staying completely frozen and hoping for some reason she wouldn’t see you. “Did you and Hinata actually study without me or did you… forget…”

When she looked over her shoulder, eyes finally locking onto the comical scene you’d presented, her jaw went slack and face turned a deep red.

“Wait, Yachi,” you tried stopping her before she dropped her bag and quickly hurried out the door. “It’s not what it looks like!”

Hinata looked taken aback by your statement, “what else could it possibly be?”

You glared at him, kicking him off you and chasing after Yachi-before leaving the room you heard a faint ‘again?’ shouted from the opposite side of your bed. Yachi hadn’t sped-walked too far and you thankfully managed to catch her at the end of the hall.

“Yachi, wait,” you tugged her hand to slow her down. “I swear it wasn’t what it looked like.”

That made her pause. She looked at you dumbfounded with both hands on her hips, “what else could it possibly be?”

“That’s what I said!”

You spun around to find Hinata, standing in the center of the hallway with arms crossed and staring at you quizzically as if you were the weird one in this situation. You gave him a quick once-over to confirm that yes, he was still wearing nothing but boxers.

“What are you doing?” You asked him frantically.

“Helping.”

“Why would you think-” You pinched the bridge of your nose and took a calming breath. “At least put some clothes on, Hinata.”

“You’re wearing all of my clothes,” he said, gesturing to all of you.

You pulled your t-shirt out while glancing down with a raised brow. Huh, well look at that.

“I really don’t care if you guys are dating,” Yachi put her hands up defensively. “It’s not a big deal and it’s really none of my business any-”

“That’s just it,” you pointed at her. “We aren’t dating. Not even close. I would never date Hinata.”

“What?” Hinata looked down at you annoyed. “Why not?”

“Because you’re…” You furrowed your brow, trying to search for any of the reasons that normally would be easy to find, but for some reason your mind was blank. “Because you’re Hinata.”

“If anything that’s more reason to date me,” Hinata gestured to himself. “Look at me. I’m the whole package.”

Yachi’s eyes flickered between you before she hid a sly smile behind her hand, “oh, I see.”

Hinata cocked his head to the side, “what do you see?”

Your cheeks warmed. “You don’t see anything. You put that face away right now.”

Hinata began prying Yachi for answers while she continuously turned away from him with a mischievous smile. You let out a relieved sigh that it was basically over when a door at the opposite end of the hall creaked open and you were faced with a yawning Yamaguchi.

He carried his toothbrush and toothpaste loosely in one hand while the other rubbed sleep from his eyes. He raised a brow at you three, slowly working to process the scene before him in his still foggy state. Yamaguchi’s head tilted idly as his eyes darted between everyone, eventually lifting his toothbrush and pointing it in Hinata’s direction.

“Why is Hinata wearing boxers in the middle of our dorm building?” He narrowed his eyes further and moved the toothbrush to point at you, “and why are you wearing Hinata’s clothes?” Yamaguchi aimed the toothbrush slowly toward your door that still hung wide open and you could practically see the lightbulb go off in his mind before the devious smirk crossed his lips. “Holy shit. Did you guys actually f-”

“Shut up,” you slammed your hands over your ears. “I don’t want to think about it.”

“Ouch,” Yamaguchi mockingly grimaced at Hinata. “That’s not a good reaction dude.”

“What do you-that’s not what-” Hinata stomped his foot. “It was a great time. Probably one of the best ones ever.”

“Whoa, let’s not get crazy.” You rolled your eyes. “You were alright, but definitely not-”

“Wha-alright?” Hinata threw his arms up. “The hell do you mean ‘alright’?”

“I think she means mediocre,” Yachi piped up from behind you with her hands still covering her smile.

“A little above mediocre, but…” you weighed your hands back and forth to signal that mediocre was just about right and Hinata stared at you completely baffled.

“Ouch,” Yamaguchi snickered.

“I can’t believe you thought I was mediocre,” Hinata furrowed his brow with a half-assed glare.

“Well, do you want me to lie to you?” You scoffed, crossing your arms. “Hinata, you almost came in your pa-”

He slapped a hand over your mouth with pinkening cheeks, “you know what? I think we all are mediocre sometimes at things, but with practice… uh… we get better.”

Yamaguchi raised an amused brow before another lightbulb went off. “Holy shit, so that means you guys were the ones who-oh my god, Tsuki’s going to be pissed when he finds out.”

“Pissed about what?” You asked after prying Hinata’s hand off your mouth.

“I woke up to a bunch of texts about how he couldn’t study because people were banging too loud,” Yamaguchi shrugged. “I’m a heavy sleeper, so I didn’t notice but he was not happy.”

“Holy shit, are you serious?” Hinata asked, sounding borderline giddy at the discovery. You scowled, smacking on the stomach to knock him down a peg.

“Hinata, that’s humiliating.”

“Oh, right.” Hinata forced a frown. “I am so embarrassed.”

“Think about it,” Yachi tapped her chin. “Doesn’t Tsukishima always wear headphones too?”

Yachi and Yamaguchi stared at you both quietly with wicked smiles before you groaned dramatically into your hands, your face was on fire while Hinata just laughed beside you, planting a hand not so comfortingly on your head. You knew in that moment your life could not get any worse.

Which was why that was the moment Tsukishima stepped out of his room a few doors away with his backpack slung over his shoulder. You almost thought you’d be lucky enough that he wouldn’t notice you, but luck wasn’t on your side as he glanced up, doing a double take at your group in the center of the hall.

It took him seconds to dissect the scene before his glare became piercing, “you mother fuckers.”

“What are the chances we all just pretend this never happened?” Hinata chuckled awkwardly while Tsukishima stomped menacingly toward him.

“What are the chances I get the sound of you moaning out of my head without someone killing me?”

“Slim?” Hinata squeaked.

“Do you think I wanted that bull shit taking up useful space in my brain?” He asked, towering over Hinata as he gulped and shook his head no. Tsukishima turned to you and you stiffened, immediately shooting your stare to your feet, “and you, forcing me to learn every one of Hinata’s kinks. I should take both of you outback and-”

“I don’t have kinks,” Hinata scoffed, turning to you to back him up, but you just looked away. “Oh fuck, do I have kinks?”

“That is not the point of our discussion, you pint-sized-”

“But aren’t kinks like a psychology thing?” Hinata looked back at you concerned. “It’s not pee, is it?”

“Why would that-I don’t know,” you looked at him warily. “Did you want to pee on me?”

“I don’t think so.”

“What do you mean ‘i don’t think so’.”

“I don’t give a fuck if you’re peeing on each other,” Tsukishima pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just do it at Hinata’s dorm building next time.”

“That won’t be a problem.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty confident it’s not pee.” Hinata nodded to himself. “I really like volleyball… is that a kink? I don’t know if that’s how it works. Wait, can you combine sex and volleyball? That sounds like a kink. I want that one. Can that be it?”

“I would love to study your mind, dude.” Yamaguchi nodded in approval and Hinata just smiled back as if he’d been given a huge compliment.

“That’s not what I-” You took a calming breath. Hinata was going to be the death of you. “I mean, me and Hinata aren’t happening again, so no one has to worry about anything.”

“Wait, you guys aren’t secretly dating?” Yamaguchi gestured between you both with a raised brow.

“No, they’re hooking up.” Yachi rolled her eyes.

“Oh, fuck off.” Tsukishima scoffed. “Hinata keep your volleyball sex out of my dorm buiding. Got it?”

“Yes sir,” Hinata saluted before a melodious tune came ringing from your dorm room. His eyes darted to a wall clock and his body stiffened. “Shit, I was supposed to be at the gym already.”

“I should probably give you-” Before you could finish Hinata was jogging down the hall. He returned with his backpack and you opened your mouth to point out you were still wearing all of his clothes, but he already had his lips smashed against yours in a chaste kiss. You had your eyes wide, staring at him dumbfounded before he pulled away with a sunshine smile.

The moment he processed what he’d done you saw his brain shut down as he stared blankly-Yachi’s giggling made a perfect background noise for his malfunction.

“What the hell was-”

“We’ll talk about that later,” he chuckled awkwardly, giving you finger guns while walking backwards down the hall. “I’ll text you or call you or something.”

“I won’t answer,” you called after.

“You will,” he said before he turned away. “Because I’m gonna offer you food and you love free food.”

Dammit. He had you there. You were a sucker for anything that wasn’t dining hall food. “Well, I won’t be happy about it!”

You heard his laughter chime before the closing of a heavy door told you he was too far to keep up the argument. You huffed, crossing your arms and glaring down the hall.

“How long till he realizes he’s in his boxers?” Yamaguchi piped up.

“He’s probably more nervous of (Y/N) than walking around campus in his underwear,” Yachi reasoned with a hand on her cheek.

“He should be,” you snorted.

“You guys wanna get breakfast?” Yamaguchi asked, “all this making fun of Hinata has made me hungry.”

“I’m going to the library.” Tsukishima left down the hall without a glance back at you and your shoulders sagged.

“He’ll get over it,” Yachi placed a comforting hand on your shoulder while pushing you forward. “Just give him time.”

“Okay,” you murmured.

“Hey, so what is Hinata’s kink?” Yamaguchi asked, leaning into your vision.

You rolled your eyes, “praise.”

“That makes too much sense,” Yachi hummed.

“Hinata would get off on being told he’s great,” Yamaguchi shook his head, throwing the door open at the end of the hall and welcoming the fresh air. “Well, next time you get to have volleyball-sex. Whatever the fuck that is.”

“I don’t think even Hinata knows that.” Yachi giggled.

As you tried to keep up with Yamaguchi and Yachi combining the actual logistics of volleyball to sex you found yourself admitting in the back of your mind that you really were all talk. You kind of liked that people knew about you and Hinata and maybe… maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if spending time with him became a regular thing.

Unless it involved whatever this volleyball-sex thing was, then you’d be fine without him.

[kcatta-wodahs]

MC Who Does Not Fear Death x OM! Demon Brothers

Or maiming, or apparently any other consequences. You’ve walked into this situation with absolutely no filter and no fear. Time to tear down every structure of Devildom society.

Lucifer

You look at him with a withering stare when he tries to intimidate you into behaving.

“I was summoned out of my trashy apartment to this place, where literally anyone could snap me like a twig on accident. I’m just working on the assumption that I’m already dead.”

He sternly looks at you. “You’re under my protection during your time here. No harm will come to you.”

You snort derisively, which visibly irritates him. “Don’t worry about it. I won’t come back to haunt you if it happens.”

As you continue through your life in Devildom he keeps calling you out for meddling and all that, like usual, and he HATES that you literally *do not care* when he threatens you.

Like HE knows that he wouldn’t hurt Diavolo’s transfer student but YOU are supposed to be AFRAID of him dammit.

His frustration at this ends up turning into a form of respect. You’re about the only person who will stand up to him, and tbh like you’re so fucking fragile but you’ll yell at him all day? That takes guts. Annoying guts. But you’ve got guts.

But also STOP IT. He has enough stress in his life and now he’s constantly terrified that you’ve decided it’s a great idea to adopt a baby balrog

Which you did once. He’s just afraid that “Flamin Hot Cheeto” is going to come back since you somehow managed to imprint on it.

despite the fact that the BABY could easily tear your arms off on accident

Not to mention he gets the flack for EVERY SINGLE ONE of these following stories. You stress him out so much. Please. Please, stop. 

He’s almost to the point of begging. The Avatar of Pride is three steps away from either locking you away for the rest of the year or begging on his knees for you to calm down. 

 But you know you’d find a way out if he locked you up so no worries. It’ll be a good challenge.

Mammon

“Well you WON’T be dead because it’s my job to protect you! Are you doubting the Great Mammon?!”

Stupid human. Yeah, you’re fragile and weak, but that’s why HE’S your bodyguard now, and there’s no way in hell (lol) that he would let you die on his watch.

Lucifer would kill him.

You welcome the challenge, and he thinks it’s funny at first but quickly becomes a flustered mother hen.

“NO, we are NOT going out to Madam Scream’s at 3am! Do ya know what kinda CREEPS are out there at 3am?!”

And you sneak out the fucking window.

He has had more heart attacks in the past week than he has had in the last 100 years of life.

He starts agreeing to your ridiculous adventures JUST because then he can actually keep an eye on you. 

He adores the chaos of the laugh that bursts from you every time you narrowly escape death. 

He HATES how often you have to NARROWLY ESCAPE DEATH. So he will never tell you.

He almost doesn’t have time for his own shenanigans anymore, because all his time is taken up by trying to make sure you stay alive.

And you’ve figured out that if you turn *any* of your ideas into a money-making one, he will join you whole-heartedly.

So you bribe him because what’s money to you anymore anyway?

Leviathan

I mean he doesn’t leave his room much, so tbh he probably just gets texts from you that make him want to scream.

‘hey uh levi say if someone were to hypothetically be stuck in a succubus’ devil basement to become an unwilling sacrifice to asmo what would that person, hypothetically, do?’

‘probably die’ is usually all he sends back

You always come back, because he always sends a text to the other brothers. In that case Asmo came to rescue you himself and scold the succubus.

You become the friend that he makes funny throwing-shade reddit posts about. (Devvit? Devil reddit? Eh??)

‘Levi so this has nothing to do with anything but is there a cure for a dangerously potent ‘always win at rock-paper-scissors' curse? Asking for a friend’

‘Friend is being held hostage tho so maybe be quick about a response’

He didn’t even know that kind of curse existed. None of them did. What the fuck did you do.

How did you get taken captive by playing rock paper scissors?

He doesn’t know. Nobody does. He expects the play-by-play so he can recommend it as a new anime to his favorite producers. 

Somehow your chaotic plans end up with stories almost as great as TSL. 

Beelzebub

He physically carries you around.

He’s like “fuck this you can’t get into trouble if I’m holding you.”

If Beel’s on MC watching duty, he’s almost the only one who is successful, just because you physically cannot get away. 

But at the same time, he is very easily bribed. 

So yes, he’ll go to Madam Scream’s with you at 3am. Sounds like fun.

But he is very protective after losing someone he cares about (who you remind him of so much….) so he keeps you close when you’re out and about too.

If you start getting into a fight with some other demon he literally just takes the fight for you and wins with no trouble at all.

You like having Beel with you.

Especially finding street festivals! You’re in a whole new world and there’s a MILLION things to try. Beel is more than happy to try them with you.

But that leads to arguments about whether deadly creatures to humans are still deadly when dead. 

“No, you can’t eat that it’s on fire. I know even small fires hurt humans. I’ll eat it for you.”

“That hot sauce makes every demon I know cry. You really shouldn’t buy a bottle. Please. No, don’t try it. No, that’s too much for one-- oh. Oh no.”

He forgives you as long as you don’t actually get hurt and you give him your leftovers.

Asmodeus

“If I get wrinkles because of you I promise you will never hear the end of it. I will curse you forever.”

He swears on every single one of his lovers that you have started giving him grey hairs.

GREY HAIRS, MC.

Why can’t you just settle down and let them all take care of you? You don’t have to prove anything to the other demons!

But you will. You’re living in Devildom now, and by everything unholy, you are going to live that life to its fullest extent.

He was thrilled at first when you were all for joining him at his nightclubs and parties. Now he hides every party’s date from you.

That time you almost threw yourself off a balcony to try and emulate a very drunk demon’s newest dance move.

“I need to stay TRENDY, Asmo!! I’ll be fine!!”

Ever since learning Demonus doesn’t affect humans you have challenged every single stuck-up tough boy to a drinking contest.

And every single time you win, Asmo has had to *narrowly* save you from being killed by said demon.

And you just say “he deserved it” every time.

And like, yeah okay, he probably did but YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE.

Somehow, you manage to out-party Asmo.

dON’T TELL THE OTHERS but he lives for the times when you practically fall asleep on his shoulder while coming home from a rager. You may not get drunk, but when you’re sleepy, you’re so affectionate and something in his heart melts.

Satan

At first, Satan was all for the rebellious “life life with no restraints” thought process you explained to him.

I mean, he didn’t like the assumption that he and his brothers couldn’t control themselves to not accidentally kill you, but also… fair.

But he didn’t realize that this mindset followed through for EVERY demon in ANY place.

Including RAD, where old and wizened demons were *really* not used to being contradicted

Which led to you “accidentally insulting” your 5000 year old Human Studies professor by giving them a pop quiz on current memes (which they failed).

And left Satan as the one who had to make sure that said professor didn’t kill you. 

And the thing is, this keeps happening.

You’ve written all over the school’s library books, pointing out every error.

You *continue* to argue with the demons who threaten to kill you when you say silly things like “No, Solomon did not learn his sorcery at Hogwarts because Hogwarts isn’t REAL.”

(Solomon, meanwhile, refutes you vehemently and seems to grow three inches taller every time you glare at him.)

Satan assures you that he values knowledge and truth and all that, but could you maybe find a less dangerous way to push it?

No can do, Satan, because you already had plans with Mammon to use a curse that writes the history of the actual Sorceric Academy that Solomon attended like 400 years all over the desks in Human Studies. It’s activated by anyone saying “Hogwarts”. 

No, no, Satan, it’s brilliant, because you can’t do magic. It can’t be you who did it.

Satan, no don’t tell Lucifer.

I thought you hated him. Satan, wait. 

You are the only person in the history of ever who convinces him to come to Lucifer for intervention. You wear that badge with pride and also deep, deep, bitter sadness. 

Belphegor

Like, through the plot your willingness to be a thorn in anyone’s side just to get more information really works for Belphie.

He’s like all I gotta do is ask? Sweet. Yeah. Go, human.

But then when he’s all big and threatening and “im gonna kill you” and you just kind of look at him and nod like “yeah, this checks out.” 

Frankly, that’s rude, MC. 

And then he keeps threatening to kill you and it doesn’t even PHASE you like. You just keep listening to him rant and going “OH i think i get it now”

He liked that you were always looking for more information when he was the one pushing you around, but now?

No. Human, he is going to KILL you here, STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.

And then you do the time-travel bit, and see that he *literally has killed you in one timeline* and you just like

Shrug it off and keep talking about Lilith???????

Tbh what probably stopped him from doing it again is just that you’re fucking insane, MC 

“MC, you literally just saw yourself dead in Mammon’s arms”

You wave your hand vaguely in his direction and say, “Yeah okay, but can we talk about the lack of communication in this household because it is tearing this family apart.”

What the fuck MC

When he’s back to normal, tbh he loves that side of you. He loves getting into shit when he’s not sleeping. He will 100% encourage you and be there to make sure that you *don’t* actually die again.

He’s the only one who doesn’t actually try to stop you. Who knew he was so into chaos.

But if you try to drag him to a plan when he should be sleeping he will be like Beel and literally just hold you down while he naps dammit. You brought this on yourself. He needs sleep.