#like i said 'anyone know about X? i tried Y and Z and they didn't work' and he turned around and started slowly explaining Y....

[six-of-ravens]

perhaps i will do some rage gardening tonight...

[minothtime]

hello tumblr people this is my opinion on the prisoners

YUNO/KAZUI: yeah yeah the social themes and consequences of their actions blah blah blah. afaik they didn't kill nobody ms yuno had a secretive risky abortion and mr kazui told his wife he's gay and then she presumably killed herself is that his fault? no she should've reacted better next

FUUTA/SHIDOU: afaik neither directly killed anyone, shidou just pressured families into offering bodies for science so he could use them for his personal purposes which while shitty and a crime not murder, and fuuta was a stupid teenager + wracked with guilt over his actions. both were shitty but not as bad as [bottom two tiers].

MAHIRU/ES: Need to learn more about Mahiru's entire situation bc i genuinely don't know what's going on at all (mutually abusive relationships don't exist bc abuse comes from power imbalance). I'm just v nosy about Es like what's their whole deal why did they break down when kotoko said they were being a bad warden are they also a prisoner in here what's going on

MIKOTO/AMANE: Fuck if i know how to handle these two people. Mikoto's whole ordeal is NOT for me to talk about and it's a MESS and same w amane it just feels that whatever we vote her it's bad i just want her to be happy :(

KOTOKO: FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU little ms hypocrisy she tries to put milgram's psychological violence and her physical violence at the same level when one is unavoidable and the other one is PERFECTLY AVOIDABLE. she believes to be some kind of angel of retribution when she's now shown her true colors and is going DOWNNN idc i kinda liked her at first but she's fallen off HARD. her ass needs a fucking muzzle and some more restraints bc it's clear she's delusional as FUCK

Muu/Haruka: muu's case is she's a bitch and when she was served her just desserts she broke down and killed someone like fuck her entitled ass. Haruka's thing is he's neurodivergent and a minor well guess what i too am neurodivergent and when i was a minor i suffered more than jesus on the cross and i didn't kill SHIT not even ANTS so maybe he should get it checked. buh-bye.

JACKALOPE: he's cute but i lowkey hate him. where the fuck is he now. why is he here. too mysterious too cryptic i need him GONE.

Once again this is my vibes and how I think things went so "oh but I think x and y and we don't know z" ok maybe you don't but I personally am omniscient . Skill issue

[wp-blaze]

Samsung Display is reducing plastic by focusing on OLED

Samsung Display Our research correspondent has attended MWC Barcelona both in 2018, 2019, 2022 and 2023. One of the companies made him impressive was Samsung Display. Samsung Display is a […]

[dropout-if]

hi hello, can we have the NSFW alphabet for Wanda as well? please? 🥺🙏

You can anon!

Statler • Jean/Jade

NSFW Below!

A = Aftercare

Typically gets very lazy and clingy, Wanda peppers kisses all over their partner, wraps her arms around them— and then she starts rambling. Even if she and her s/o need a shower, she'd most likely say it's a problem for future Wanda to take care of.

B = Body part

Wanda's body isn't the same as it used to be four years ago, but she still loves her legs, especially her thick thighs. Her partner's mouth is one of her favorite things about them—she doesn't really like committing to just one, and so Wanda's answer would seldom be the same.

C = Cum

Loves teasing her partner by licking their cum off her fingers.

D = Dirty secret

Wanda once crashed her parents' car when she was fifteen. She didn't think twice about blaming it on her dad.

E = Experience

Wanda used to sleep around, she's had three boyfriends in the past, and Gabi's dad too. That being said, it's been a while since she's had sex with anyone. Wanda is a bit rusty, but she still knows what she's doing— and she's especially good with her hands.

F = Favorite position

69, riding her partner.

G = Goofy

Wanda doesn't think things much. She likes to have fun and tease, and she definitely doesn't take sex seriously at all.

H = Hair

Her hair is rarely a natural color nowadays. Wanda shaves her legs and pits, and she trims her pubic hair (which is naturally dark brown) to a bikini line.

I = Intimacy

Romanticism is something Wanda enjoys about sex, even if it's with her flings. She likes complimenting their looks, praising them, making them feel appreciated.

J = Jack off

Wanda is really into the idea of her partners masturbating to her nudes.

K = Kink

Having someone beg/making her beg, bondage and lingerie.

L = Location

Couches, beds, tables. Wanda loves having sex during her morning shower too.

M = Motivation

It's pretty easy to get her in the mood, Wanda can get turned on by making out and heavy petting. She's also really into her partner kissing and biting her neck and shoulders.

N = No

It feels kinda weird for her to be called mommy now. Especially during sex, she doesn't mind so much if people tease her about it, or call her a MILF as a joke.

O = Oral

Loves giving and receiving. Wanda especially likes when someone sits on her face, and sitting on someone's face herself.

P = Pace

Mixes fast and rough moments with more sensuous and slow ones. Typically goes as torturously slow as possible until her partner begs her to stop teasing.

Q = Quickie

Wanda doesn't see the point in holding back: if she and her partner are in the mood and have little time, quickies are perfection.

R = Risk

She's very open to experimenting and trying out new things. Wanda is often the one coming up with new positions and games, and she's really enthusiastic when her partner proposes their own ideas.

S = Stamina

Wanda is a mom. Her energy is definitely not what it was, but she can last a few rounds no problem (perks of being a woman).

T = Toys

She's terrified of Gabi accidentally finding something. Wanda used to own a dildo but has since discarded it. Currently, she only has a few ropes and handcuffs.

U = Unfair

Loves loves loves teasing, Wanda is a huge tease. It's the easiest way to get someone to beg, too. She enjoys being teased too.

V = Volume

Pretty loud. Her moans are breathy and slightly high-pitched, Wanda can't be quiet even if she tried.

W = Wild card

Wanda loves sending random nudes to her partner, even if she's at work—going to the bathroom and snapping one doesn't take too long.

X = X-ray

She has a D cup.

Y = Yearning

Currently, Wanda's sex drive is in a coma. She has learnt to put it to sleep and ignore the urge. When she's in a relationship though, Wanda does have a pretty high sex drive.

Z = Zzz

Falls asleep fast enough, max 30 minutes of cuddling.

[defodisturbed]

tolerate it - Zdinarsk x reader

(A/N: hey y'all, tolerate it is one of, if not my favorite evermore song. also one of my top taylor swift songs in general. i felt inspired listening to it recently, so i decided to work some of my magik :3 hope y'all enjoy!! mwah)

I know my love should be celebrated

But you tolerate it

Zdinarsk was never an... affectionate person. Especially after joining the army. But with you, she showed love. Kindess, even. But something's changed recently. She's not talking to you as enthusiastically as much, not engaging in PDA like you are, and its become too much. You feel like she doesn't love you anymore. Maybe she caught feelings for someone else. No, that can't be true. She's always told you that she would never love anyone else but you. Or maybe that was just a lie.

The code to your room was punched in, you could hear it. The door opened and in walked your lover. Your wife. The RDA didn't allow marriages, especially between soldiers. But, Quaritch did some convincing (by that I mean he made a powerpoint presentation and showed it to Ardmore) and had some strings pulled. Ardmore then talked to Parker and (forcefully) had him make an exception.

(reader's pov)

"Hey, baby! How was work? Did you get assigned to any cool missions?" I said enthusiastically. Zdinarsk ignored me. "Babe?" I asked, seeing if she could hear me. She rubbed her eyes. "Huh? Oh, no, nothing really happened today." Nonchalant words flowed from her mouth, uninterested in my curiosity.

"What happened? You sound very tired." I pressed, frustrating her. "Y/N, just.. leave it be. Nothing happened to me, I promise. Just leave me alone, I have to wind down."

[Time skips a few days later, Z has gotten home from work and Y/N is complaining about her treatment of her lately.]

"Y/N, what the fuck is your problem? I don't know what I did!" Z yelled at me. "You've been so dry lately! You don't express any emotion when it comes to me or our relationship! You don't even like talking about your day after I so happily welcome you home! I'm always taking up too much space or time now, when a few months ago you'd hug me like it was the last time you'd ever hug anyone! I would die for you without a second thought! I made you my entire purpose. I've written about you in my journal over a million times. You have taken up all of my thoughts, thinking of how much I love you. Thinking of how much you make me happy. But it seems I'm an afterthought in your head, taking up no more than a grain of sand!" I started shouting.

"Well I'm sorry if I'm not leaping with joy whenever you're around! I have a very tough job where I have no clue if I'm going to see the morning, and you expect me to be so happy all the time?" Z thundered. I groaned in anger and annoyance, before responding. "I just want to feel loved! I want to feel like you appreciate me, even when you're upset! Is that so much to ask for?"

"You know I love you, it goes without saying!" She hissed back. "No, it doesn't. You have to say it, Z. You have to say it." I tried to reason with her, lowering my voice and trying to softly speak. Anger and sadness was coursing through my veins, but if I shouted any more I would lose my voice.

"I don't care, you're overreacting. It shouldn't matter if I say it or not, you should know it." Z replied, almost carefree. "If you gave me a history test without telling me anything about the subject, how would I know what answers to pick? Your argument doesn't add up. Please, let's sit and talk about this."

Z sighed and huffed before sitting on our shared bed. I sat next to her and began to explain how I felt about it. "I feel like this situation is unfair because I don't understand the sudden switch. Before, you were so happy to see me, and all of a sudden you were so annoyed with my presence no matter if I said a word or not. If I did something, I want to know so that we can resolve it."

She paused to think. "You didn't do anything, hon. I don't know why I'm acting like this, I've just been really stressed lately. I know that's no excuse, and I'm really sorry I've made you feel this way. I really didn't mean to, and I love you more than you could ever imagine. I hope you can forgive me for how I've treated you." She looked down, twiddling with her fingers anticipating my response.

I brought her in for a hug and assured her it was okay. We forgave each other, and we had Mansk make us some nice food to eat together.

MWAH hope y'all loved it teehee :33

@dyingofcookies

[6rookie-writer0110]

The last dream

Sara Lance x Reader.

Request - Hiya, may I please request Reader is Mazikeen's best friend (from Lucifer) and is dating Sara Lance

Everyone on the wave rider saw how happy you became when your best friend arrived. You introduced her to the team, everyone is getting to know Mazikeen.

“Maze this is my girlfriend Sara Lance and she is the captain” You smiled.

“So this is your girlfriend,” Mazikeen said.

She starts to look at Sara up and down, she doesn't smile. Mazikeen is very protective of you and she has been your best friend for many years now.

“Yeah, we are dating. Y/n makes me very happy” Sara said.

Mazikeen glares at Sara. Mazikeen will stay in your room. Now you and Mazikeen are alone in your room.

“Y/n, are you really happy here?” Mazikeen asked.

“Why would you ask that?” You asked.

“Why do you want to be a hero? You are always risking your life and you are dating the captain” Mazikeen said.

“This doesn't seem like you, Mazikeen. I am happy here and I care about them and they care about me” You said.

“I always care about you, Y/n. I don't want you to pretend that you are happy when you are unhappy. Remember your last ex?” Mazikeen said.

“I remember. I mean it, I'm really happy being here and I like being a hero. It sucks sometimes but I still like it” You said.

“Fine” Mazikeen said.

----

Mazikeen is trying to get used to living on the wave rider. It's hard to get privacy and everyone is so loud.

“Why is everyone standing on line?” Mazikeen asked.

“We are waiting to use the bathroom. Stand in line before anyone else comes” Behrad said.

“Wait, this has to be a joke,” Mazikeen said.

“It’s not a joke. I thought it was a joke too, but we only have one bathroom” Spooner said.

“My sister takes forever when she takes a shower. Z, hurry up!! We need the bathroom” Behrad yelled.

“I will be out in five minutes!!” Zari yelled.

“I don't know, how Y/n gets used to this” Mazikeen said.

“It took me a while to get used to it,” Spooner said.

Mazikeen walked away and she starts to complain to you about some stuff.

----

Mazikeen went on her first mission with you and the team. Mazikeen didn't want to wear the disguises but you convinced her to wear them. At first, the mission was going fine then it went downhill and the team needed a new plan.

“You are one strange captain,” Mazikeen said.

“Good or bad?” Sara asked.

“Little of both. If Y/n, died then I would have to kill you” Mazikeen said.

“I would never let that happen. It feels like you have a problem with me” Sara said.

“I do have a problem with you,” Mazikeen said.

Sara and Mazikeen start to argue. Everyone tries to calm them down, you stand in the middle and try to be the peacemaker.

✫ ✯ ✬ ✫

You and Sara are alone in her bedroom and sitting on the bed.

“Mazikeen doesn't like me and she doesn't support our relationship,” Sara said.

“I know, she is hard to get along with. But she is still my best friend” You said.

“Y/n, I'm not telling you to choose a side. But, I will try again to get along with her even she wants to kill me” Sara said.

You kiss her on the lips and Sara starts to smile. Sara did kiss you back and she wrapped her arms around you.

----

You and the team have to bowl to save the earth.

“So if we don't play then we will all did?” Mazikeen asked.

“Yes. We need you and Sara to get along so we can win” You said.

“Y/n is right. We need to work together” Behrad said.

“Fine, I will play nice,” Mazikeen said.

“Good” You smiled.

You wanted to give her a high five but she didn't give you a high five. Instead, Behrad gave you a high five. You, Sara, and Spooner are the best players but Spooner is out because of her hand.

“Mazikeen, you have to play,” You said.

“You know I hate bowling,” Mazikeen said.

“I know, but I don't want to die. So, get up and play” You said.

You and Mazikeen glare at each other. She starts to play, she made a strike and you cheer for her. She still won't give you a high five.

“One day, you will give me a high five” You smiled.

“You are such a dork,” Mazikeen said.

“I’m your dork” You smiled.

“Dork” Mazikeen smiled.

✫ ✯ ✬ ✫

You and the others have to dress western. Mazikeen didn't like the outfit, so she made the hotter so she can show off her cleavage. Sara starts to talk about the plan and Mazikeen didn't agree with the plan.

“There's no point in making a plan if it will go downhill in one minute,” Mazikeen said.

“Maze, play nice,” You said.

Mazikeen rolled her eyes at you and Sara.

“Fine, I will play nice,” Mazikeen said.

“Good,” You said.

The plan went downhill, now there is a bar fight.

“Finally, I can test out my toys” Mazikeen smiled.

Everyone is fighting. Mazikeen stabbed a guy but she didn't notice the guy behind her with a gun. Sara grabbed the knife and threw it at the guy, Mazikeen saw what Sara did and she was impressed by it.

“That was cool. But thanks” Mazikeen said.

“I was an assassin before meeting Y/n,” Sara said.

You and the others noticed Mazikeen and Sara fighting side by side. After the mission, Mazikeen made drinks for everyone on the wave rider. Now Sara and Mazikeen are alone...

“Y/n is my best friend. I don't want anyone to hurt Y/n. And I can see how much Y/n likes being on the team and loves you. I don't ever want to lose Y/n” Mazikeen said.

“I truly care about Y/n and I promise you I won't hurt Y/n. I don't want Y/n to pick between us. I know you mean so much to Y/n. I want us to be friends even when we don't see eye to eye” Sara said.

“Okay, we can be somewhat friends,” Mazikeen said.

Sara and Mazikeen smiled at each other and they have another drink together.

---

You and Mazikeen do spend time together alone.

“I’m really glad that you are getting along with Sara,” You said.

“Ugh, Y/n don't go soft on me” Mazikeen teased.

You and Mazikeen giggled and she hugged you.

[loki-ioki]

ok so now i wanna hear about how u interpret geeta's family....

OUGH LORD. as i said this is kinda a very rough and a bit more Nemona heavy as she's kinda the center to all of this.

(for anyone else reading this, i am aware Nemona says she only has one sister, idc i love wrecking pokemon family trees BCJBVJ. She has 2 now.)

So Nemona is the youngest of 3 kids. Geeta is the oldest (and the "canon" one she talks about in game), she has a 2nd older sister and that is Nessa, the Galar gym leader. As Geeta runs two schools (hc she's the chairwoman of Blueberry academy too for a different thing) AND she runs the league/top champion, she kinda has her hands full so it's Nessa that their parents had slated to take over the Rotom phone business but she wants nothing to do with it. Like Nemona says, her parents were pretty hands off but more specifically with her. I don't think she had nowhere near as bad a family life as Arven or "annoying" as Penny (to her) but her parents def focused more on their business and their older kids more.

I haven't thought of why Nessa left fully (i don't super care for her as a character) but she's not really on speaking terms with her parents or Geeta (leaning towards some big fight). Nemona talks to her every once in a while but that's still kinda rare.

Nemona idolizes Geeta, we all know this. Because of how high up on a pedestal Geeta is for her now, it's hard to remember/view her as her sister. She's an inspiration and idol but that invisible wall she talks about feeling in her postgame chats DEF extends to Geeta.

Geeta loves her family but because of how busy her life is/that possible big fight, she doesn't talk or interact with them much outside of Nemona. She has also kinda forgotten how to just be a sister to Nemona and kinda more views her as a apprentice. I think her parents spent a lot more time on her succeeding/future than just like.. her as a person? Especially with her dad's fame and business growing. Treated her more like a budding business professional than their kid (and they could have tried this with Nessa to i think and she just didn't like it.) Geeta more or less took a lot of this to heart tho (especially as she was the "odd" child, i.e., autistic and her parents just, didn't get it. Tried very hard to make her into a "normal" kid. This did not help her with things like social ques/body language, what have you in the future). She doesn't really talk about her background/family/that type of stuff so she never really pieced together the idea of "hey maybe my parents shouldn't have done x/y/z??" (and since volo doesn't have much of any family background/experiences on top of her just not going into it ever, it's not something that ever really clicks for her.)

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

[zmediaoutlet]

happy wincest wednesday! assuming djinn sam isn't as normal as he looks, what's a wincest headcanon you have for that universe?

happy wincest wednesday! (on actual wednesday for me! imagine that!)

This is one of those where I am happy to be a little bit led, bc I've read some fun fic to this effect -- in particular one I'm thinking of (can't remember title or author, sorry) where Sam's kind of... mean, and he's fucking Dean on the side and also fucks the cute El Sol girlfriend. I mean, ouch.

Tricky for me, though, because I'm of two minds about the djinn ep.

Mind 1: it's a djinnverse, which means that it is a fake world blown up from the mind of a specific person, intended to grant them one wish -- letting the dominoes fall as they may from that wish, given the information the djinn can suss from the person's brain. This means it's built by, limited by, given structure by, the wisher's imagination, the way they think about themselves, the way they imagine other people think about them, what they may wish were thought about them, shame and hope and desire and fear all swirling around together.

Mind 2: you can also just treat it as an entirely separate, wholly realized domino AU. That is -- make it a real universe unto itself, where x didn't happen and so y and z have all the room to grow they want. Not a fake world inside a wisher's head but just -- a world. This is the normal AU that would happen if Mary had lived.

Trouble for me, with Mind 2, is that... I don't believe in normal AU-with-normal-upbringing wincest. I just can't buy it. (I answered another ask on this ages ago, points for anyone who can find it bc I couldn't when I just briefly tried.) Normal AU where they're broke or John's abusive and Mary's dead, etc etc? Sure, let them fuck. But Dad with little league and Mary baking pie and Sam happily off to Stanford and it's all hunky dory? I know people like the soulmatism read where they'd get incestuous anyway, but... I just can't come with 'em. So.. Mind 2, sit down.

Mind 1, then: if the wish is still as simple as 'I wish Mom hadn't died?' And we bring canonically pining crazy-ass Dean Winchester, with all his hope and shame and hurt and need into that mess? So, it makes sense that Sam's off being normal and successful and marrying a picture perfect 2D (with double Ds) blonde. It makes sense that Dean's a wastrel who's on every shitlist. It makes sense that Sam wants nothing to do with him, because who would? Look at him. Look at the mess he is, look how lazy and meanspirited and dickish. A little bit of a mystery that he landed such a hot nurse, hm? But he's good at faking it, isn't he, because the thing is that he wanted Sam so badly that he panicked. Couldn't get too close because he couldn't ruin Sam, too. It was easier to be an asshole, to be the bad example, to screw Sam over and make Sam push him away, to do everything he could to be the person Sam would never want to be -- and it worked, Sam ran off to California and went to college and was Mr Perfect and when he'd come home for Christmas he'd look at Dean with this pained expression like, don't ruin this, too, and Dean'd grin back like -- oh, just watch me. Making sure. When Sam was good and gone Dean did get the hot girlfriend, because he knows how to use his body and he knows how to be pleasing when he needs to, and he was normal, or at least normal enough to count, and when he drunkdialed Sam on weird nights when Carmen was gone on one of those three 12s weeks he'd say -- he didn't know. He wasn't responsible for what he said then. He'd already ruined it so what did it matter, if he ruined it a little more.

Sam didn't hang up on him. Sometimes Dean'd look at his call log and there it'd be, under Outgoing -- forty minutes, an hour. Two hours. Maybe Sam just put the phone down and went to sleep. Maybe that was it. But one time, he was drunk but he wasn't as drunk as he could've been, and he called, and Sam answered even though it was one in the morning in Palo Alto, and Dean didn't quite know what to say because his filters hadn't been completely drowned yet, and Sam said, when Dean wasn't sure he'd say anything at all, you already done? and Dean said no -- no, I'm not done, and Sam said, kind of quiet so Dean couldn't tell if it was disgusted or not, if you're just going to heavy breathe at me I'll go back to studying, and Dean bit his tongue, and Sam said, well?, and Dean just -- said everything he'd ever thought, about -- about what he wanted, and what he'd dreamed. What he'd wished for. Thinking that Sam would hang up, that Sam would fly all the way back from the ocean to Kansas, would open up the apartment door and kill Dean where he sat, and Dean would've been grateful, if he did. But Sam stayed on the phone, and Dean could hear him breathing too on the other side of the line, and Sam said, quiet still when Dean paused with his mouth dry and his head ringing, he said: you get off on that? and Dean was so hard he was surprised he wasn't drilling a hole in his pants, and Sam hummed, and he said then, go on, and Dean clutched himself through his jeans and creamed his shorts and Sam stayed on the phone while he breathed through it, and then Sam said, still in that same tone, night, Dean, and Dean hung up, and he didn't call Sam again for months. Until the next time.

What I'm saying is: my hc, in Mind 1, is that djinn!Sam hates Dean exactly as much as Dean wants to be hated, and is as disgusted with him as Dean believes he deserves disgust, and when Dean can't take either of those anymore Sam will take him in hand, exactly as Dean needs to be taken in hand. He's useful, that way.

[fierceawakening]

I definitely think it is not in any way wrong to ponder whether someone in your life has narcissistic traits, but then I am also team "reading a book is not thoughtcrime" literally regardless of what the book is. (There are authors I will only ever buy used if at all, but to me that's a different consideration.)

Thank you.

Yeah, I don't think reading a book is thoughtcrime ever either.* I do think it's important to consider the source--for example, after I read that article by the journalist I read a few more articles by people who DID have credentials as clinicians, and I DID notice that the clinicians were more careful in their wording. Where the journalist was saying "the narcissist in your life knows they're bullying you and their behavior is a choice, don't feel bad about getting angry that they chose it," the clinicians tended to say "Many narcissists do X, which leads to Y, which causes bad consequences for those close to them because Z."

So yes, it's noticeable, and I think worth paying attention to! But I ALSO think there is a place for "consider that this person might actually KNOW they're behaving hurtfully. Don't assume they must not be aware of it. That's often a defense mechanism survivors fall into to convince themselves it's Not That Bad, when it actually IS that bad."

Like, I struggle with whether I think my mom knows she doesn't empathize well with me. I don't think she does know it. She calls herself "an empath" and bemoans how much time she needs to spend resting because it's distressing when other people around her are upset.

But when it comes to guessing why I'm upset, or telling whether I'm angry/hostile or sad/melancholy? She's bad at that. She's REALLY bad at "you're having an issue I wouldn't experience but you're making sense." It's VERY frequently, like, "well, if you just dated boys you wouldn't have to deal with dyke drama, you know?" Rather than "Oh, everyone struggles in relationships, these pronouns are unusual but I get the gist."

It's always "why didn't you think that was a stupid situation you didn't want to be in? I try to tell you you would never..." and not "I can still vibe with what you're up to even if my own life has been pretty different in the detail bits."

(Meant to type you SHOULD never, but not correcting it because "You're my kid which means I know you better than anyone, and those things I disapprove of that you like? That's not really you. Trust me, I know." is something I have heard so, so many times. "I tried to tell you you would never" is accurate.)

So... why would "You know, Mom, I'm middle aged, which means you're considerably older than that. You really should have figured out by now that that's not cool, and I actually do kind of blame you for never recognizing that" be wrong?

(Aside from the fact that if I said it out loud she'd say "you want to make me suffer" rather than taking the point. But that's her problem, and just means there's little POINT in confronting her. It's not a sign that it would be unwarranted or cruel of me to do so.)

*(okay, okay, if I found out someone I knew was reading The Turner Diaries and it wasn't for research into what the fuck is up with Nazis, I'd worry immediately, I have an open mind not a spilling dumpster. But that's about it.)

[sanzusbestie]

Hi! I saw that your request were open and wanted to request Baji with a S/O that gets super flustered when it comes to physical touch. The thing is that is the S/O doesn't like anyone seeing them like that and instead of just telling him straight up how they feel they just kinda avoid it by making jokes. 💀 For example he could try to hold there hand or something and the S/O is like nahhhhhh bro u down bad or something?? Or like he tries to hug them and they just straight up dodge him and are like do I know u? who's this random guy trying to hug me bro?? 👀 Like its just smart remarks so that in the end he doesn't see them get flustered.

♡ Keisuke with a s/o easily flustered ♡

Pairing : Baji Keisuke x gn!reader

Warnings : none

A/n : Press F to pay respects 😔🤙 Thank you for requesting and have a nice day ♡

Kisses are rare af

Like almost nonexistent

And you are fine with it

You could handle his compliments and all, but physical touch is something else

But it started to frustrate Keisuke more and more

This sly mf notices everything

He respects your personal space, so he wouldn't mind if you just wanted his PDA to only hand holding and some occasional cheek kisses

But the thing is that you never let him get close to you

The worst thing is that not only you reject him, but you also make f u n of him

Like one day, you hung out with him, Chifuyu and Kazutora at the arcade

He put his hand on yours while you were playing

"Let me help you babe, you'll win more easily this way."

"Daaaaang you simp ! Take your sit and play against me so I can crush you !"

You literally yelled 💀

He was shocked, Kazutora couldn't stop laughing and Chifuyu didn't know what to do with himself

Crushing him at this game was surprisingly easy that day

Kazu and Chifuyu will make fun of him forever

It's one of his worst memories

It was neither the first nor the last time you did that

An other of his worst memories was at school

You two were talking about your upcoming test

"Come on, Y/n, you need to help me please. My mom will cry again of you don't."

"And I hope she whoops your ass."

"You're so mean to me sometimes," he said and s q u e e z e d your cheeks

Instantly remembering your previous reactions of him touching you, regret flashed through his eyes

You bit him 🥶

Not too hard but enough for him to let you go

"Talk to your lord and saviour, maybe he'll help you !" you said and went to class

He walked you home at the end of the day

"You didn't have to bite me, you know ? You could've simply told me to top," he said laughing, "Why do you react like that by the way ?"

Oh no, he couldn't know

You needed a way out

"Just la la la la la la shhhh living my life."

He was dumbfounded

"Alright, I won't ask again, now let's go."

He tried to grab your hand

Bad idea 💀

"I slowly- I slowly started to be seducted by him like he started to seduce me !"

People around started to look at you, you were so embarrassing 😭

You needed to spend less time on tiktok, he thought

He hasn't tried to hug you, or kiss you or even hold your hand for a few day

But he was ready to try again

You two were on a date

Everything was good until he hugged you out of nowhere

Managing to wriggle your way out, you said nervously

"Are you not ashamed of yourself ? Are you embarrassed ? This is very embarrassing."

"Okay, Y/n, you need to stop quoting tiktok and actually tell me what's going on. If you want to break up just tell me."

He was serious, he was tired of your antics

So serious that you actually were scared he'd leave you

So you told him the truth

Now it was his turn to have fun, you knew he'd never leave you alone

After like 10 minutes of him laughing alone he politely asked to hug you

Even though he'd love to see you flustered, he wouldn't like making you uncomfortable

"I'd like to hug you, Kei, I swear. But I'm afraid I can't."

"And why is that now ?"

"It's not against you. It's just that you have pigeon shit on your shoulder."

"WHAT-"

Vomiting noises 🗿

♡

[gamingperipety]

Hi! Is there a difference between a really strong friendship and aromantic love? I tried to find information on the Internet, but I didn't come across anything specific and well-explaining. I am a little bit confused, but I want to understand. So can you provide please any reliable sites or explanation?

Hello! This got a bit long so more under the cut.

Aromance is a whole spectrum, just like asexuality so the answers do depend on that and where everyone falls in the whole range of that spectrum.

There are aromatic people who don't feel romantic love at all and would not want to be in a relationship.

There are aromatic people who feel little romatic feelings towards someone and they slowly start building from there.

There are aros who need to bond emotionally with someone first in order to be able to form a romantic connection to said person.

There are aros who don't feel any sort of love.

There are also aros who love very deeply in a platonic senses. For some of them friendship can be the same and for others it can be different.

It honestly really depends on how everyone feels it with themselves. There's no hard rules that define what aro is as long as it is not the default "I feel the whole love spectrum" thing.

I don't look much on the internet for this sort of thing (except for back when I was discovering about my own sexuality and all, as I myself fall into the aro spectrum, and so does my mother who is happily married to my heterosexual alloromantic father).

So tldr; for some aros a really strong friendship can be the same as a relationship, while for other it can be much more different (where one can be deeper and/or different in nature than the other, or a good friendship is all it ever is for them and nothing more).

For me personally, I can feel romantic love if I strongly bond with someone. I've never, however, been in love with anyone my entire life. But I can feel the romance in books and games or movies with certain characters that I create a connection with.

Everyone keeps telling me that I haven't found the right person yet, but I know that isn't exactly the case and I doubt I'll ever feel the same type of romantic love most feel towards their partners because my brain isn't wired like that, but I know I can love deeply dispite my love being 'different'.

I honestly hate having to explain my romantic attraction because it's so weird and and I don't know how to express myself in a way that will make others really understand what it feels like.

I want to be loved, I want to be in a relationship and be held and kissed as well as give all that back to my hypothetical partner, but I've never felt like anyone I've ever met would be someone I'd allow to do that.

What really was a wake up call for me was when a good friend of mine, who had been in love with me for years, confessed to me and I told them I couldn't be with them because x, y, z. And I, completely oblivious to the way he was feeling said "but we can still be friends, right?"

And he looked and me and said, "I can't just shove this all down and pretend these feelings don't exist and pretend I don't love you. You can't ask that of me. It isn't fair."

But I didn't understand that. Yet he was absolutely right. It wasn't fair, because I didn't feel the way he felt and I couldn't comprehend how much it was hurting him.

When I say this I speak for myself and this is absolutely not the case for all or most aros.

As for when it comes to relationships, there are aros who are absolutely repoulsed by the idea and there are aros who would want to have a partner of sorts.

I think on youtube you can find a few good videos about aro people and their specific take on being on the spectrum.

If you are worried about the ROs, I can guarantee that people who are not in the aro spectrum most likely won't see the difference between relationship unless it is told by narration or the characters themselves, but I'm sure aros would know.

Honestly, that's why I was very reluctant at first to share that information and a part of me regrets doing it, but representation matters. But also, I feel so alone in this and I hate the idea of my characters getting alienated because they're a bit different, so I'd rather keep it to myself, and only those who can understand see it and appreciate it for what it is.

That is to say, I don't blame you or anyone else, for that matter, for wanting to look more into it or those who are a bit sceptic if a relationship with someone like this would be worth it. It's just that I personally prefer the shadows, and this was a bit too in the spotlight for me and my characters and I don't know how to feel about it.

This was a lot and I apologise, but I hope it answered your question to some degree.

Thank you so much ♡

[zemarune]

Diluc's past is slightly mentioned, if you don't want to read spoilers, then please don't proceed further.

   ~ •°《 ｡･:*˚:✧｡ ☆  ｡✧:˚*:･｡》 °• ~

•° Diluc Fluff Alphabet°•

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

The fact that you accept him like he is. You accept that he needs his space and rarely shows any affection without complaining, even though he'd like to change that about himself, he can't help but feel happy that you don't judge him.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your/his body?)

Your eyes. He loves how he can read you through them, the very eyes he feels mesmerized with as soon as he'd look at them. He likes his hands the most. He knows he's good with them (not meant in any sexual way) because of him being a bartender at angel's share from time to time. He also knows that his touch has a great positive effect on you, so that's a plus for him. Diluc can also massage you with them too make you feel good.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

He's a secretive person and his PDA level is very low, so there won't be any cuddles if you're not home or in a safe haven alone. If you're home, then prepare to not be able to leave. He'll hold you close to him for as long as he can.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

A typical dinner date with only you two. He'll feel the most comfortable if it's in his home. He, personally, will see to set it up but the food will be made by the best cooks he can offer.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

He hardly shows you any kind of emotions out in the open except for his love and admiration. He doesn't want you to worry about him or trouble you. But of course if you ask him about it, then he'll try to show you as much of himself and his emotions as possible.

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

He'd also love to have a family with you, yet he's afraid of it as well. The world is dangerous and having lost his father, he fears that he won't be able to save you and or your kids too.

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving?)

He'll buy you anything you want, there's nothing you won't get. If your gaze lingers on something for even a second, then Diluc will buy it immediately. He sees it as a normal way to treat the person he loves. Tell him to stop and the gift giving might be reduced.

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

Not in public. Most of the time, he won't show any affection to you if you're outside, as mentioned before. Depending on the situation, of course. If a certain cavalry captain is feeling more flirty than usual with you and oversteps his boundaries in Diluc's eyes, then he will grab your hand and send a destroying gaze to the blue haired male. Other than that, he'll show you tons of affection at your home to make up for the lack of contact earlier!

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

He'll panic. What if you'll die like his father? Will you leave him as well? He'll immediately bring you to the best healer in reach. Blames himself like back then. He's sure he could have protected you if only he would have paid more attention. You wouldn't be in pain then. Of course, if it's a rather minor wound, he'll still worry but not as much. Show him your love and tell him you won't leave, it may not seem like it but it will calm him down.

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you?)

He may try to tell you a joke if the atmosphere between you two is very heavy. Otherwise he's serious, he doesn't prank anyone and there are rarely any jokes coming from him.

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

In a private place, tender and sweet kisses on your lips or forehead. He's a soft guy, Diluc likes to kiss you on your lips, yet he'd only do so, if he has some time. He wants to make your kisses memorable. If he's busy, then he'll kiss your forehead, cheeks or even the back of your hand!

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

Through affectionate words at your home. The presents and physical contact may be nice, yet he believes that words are better, they do speak louder than actions after all.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

When you said yes to his confession. It is the most joyful moment in his life so far. He thought he'll never be happy but then you came along and brightened his world. You even love him back! What could be better?

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

Losing you to someone else or in general. Having lost his father before, he's scared of losing another beloved person. Knowing there are people who you could be happier with, who are more open about emotions, who can show and give you the love and affection you deserve makes him slightly insecure about himself.

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

The fact that he owns and produces wine, yet doesn't like it and it's taste. It's actually quite hilarious if one thinks about it. On the other hand, it's also cute how flustered he gets when you ask him about it, because it confused you.

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

His world. Before he met you, the world he saw and lived in, was filled with sinners and corruption. You cleansed his world, soul and heart. You make him enjoy being in the world he is in. There wouldn't be you in another one. You are his world. And he doesn't wish to leave it. Yet, he'll rarely call you that, it's rather more of a statement. Instead he'll call you darling or love but when you're silently sleeping in his embrace, in that moment you could hear him whisper that you're his everything. His world.

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

At his or your home. When he's got some free time and you're available as well, then he'd absolutely love to spend the time with cuddles and a lot affection. Outside he doesn't show you any, so he has to repay you for your patience at home!

R = Romance (how romantic are they? Cliché or rather creative?)

A bit inexperienced but he tries his best to be as romantic as possible for you. Therefor he's more cliché. He'll try to come up with something to impress you though!

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

He's pretty open but if a secret can be harmful to you, in his eyes, then he will not mention it. He'll lock it away, so you'll never have to face it. He also intended to keep his doings as the darknight hero a secret, the abyss order is after him and they could cause some trouble, which he wants to prevent from reaching you. Now, someone close to him still told you, may or may not have been on accident too. You'll never guess who let the words slip!

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

He's inexperienced. He didn't know what to say or do. He had to get the confidence and then some tips from a professional, in hope that Kaeya wouldn't joke around and make a fool out of Diluc. Luckily for Kaeya the advice to just confess worked, so he's safe from the red haired man's wrath.

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

He'll give you the time you need, however he'll be worried for you. He'll give you even more gifts than before in order to make you feel happy again. He'd do anything. After a bit, if you didn't speak to him already, then he will go to you. He misses you whenever you're not with him, even if you're just a door away.

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

He won't show you off. You're not an object and he refuses to treat you like one. Nonetheless, he's proud that you're his. He loves you and can't imagine someone more perfect than you.

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

He'll always fight with or for you. However, that won't change the fact that he's just as worried for you as he'd be if you're hurt. He knows that he, most likely, will be busy with his own battle so he can't protect you as much as he wants to.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

He needs some time to adjust to the fact that you're his lover now and to all your reactions, physical as well as mental. In order to not hurt you with words or actions, he has to read you very well, so that's what he'll learn. And he will be able to read you after. He studied you and your behavior almost like Albedo with alchemy. Not in a scary way though!

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

As mentioned before, he tries his best to be romantic, so he'll choose a beautiful scenery as a perfect spot for a proposal. On Dragonspine's highest place for example. You can see almost everything from up there, and watching the sunset is just so mesmerizing! If that's not romantic, then Diluc doesn't know what else is!

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

Knowing you're save. Even better if you're in his arms, but the knowledge is working too. He'll go insane not knowing if you're well or not. He'll be worried sick and his mind is running wild with possible worst case scenarios. Having you right with him or knowing you're well will ease his anxiety.

             ~ •°《 ｡･:*˚:✧｡ ☆  ｡✧:˚*:･｡》 °• ~

[softholand]

snowed in - t.h

pairing: tom holland x reader

summary: you and tom are neighbors but you don’t get along very well, what happens when you’re forced to spend christmas with him?

warnings: some curses

words: 3.3k

a/n: this is my gift to @uglypastels as part of @peeterparkr​ ‘s secret santa 🤍 Z, i’m sorry this took so long but as you can see, i got a little carried away with the story lmao anyway, you’re actually one of my favorite writers so i’m kinda nervous to post this but i really hope you like it!! merry christmas ✨

You hated snow, that was a fact. But, since it was Christmas you were willing to face it, for the sake of your sister, that was hosting her first Christmas dinner at her and her husband’s new house.

Before you faced the snow though, you had to wash some of your clothes since your laundry basket was full. So, taking your dirty clothes, you made your way to the laundry room, which thankfully, was empty.

You were putting the detergent in when your phone rang and of course, it was your sister, already asking where you were. Just as you were about to answer, you heard the sound of the door opening, before your neighbor, the one you didn't like very much, entered the laundry room.

As always, you tried your best to ignore him and answered your still ringing phone. “Hello?” You said, already listening to the sound of chatting on the other end of the call. “Yes, I’m coming, I just had to do something first.” You told your sister, closing the machine and pressing start. “No, Maya! I’m not bringing anyone, you already know that!” That phrase caught the attention of your neighbor, which made you roll your eyes, both at him and your sister.

“Okay, I’ll see you later, bye!” You ended the call, stuffing your phone back into your purse, before taking your keys off. Then, just as you turned to leave, Tom’s body came crashing right into yours, knocking you off your feet.

“I’m so sorry!” He said, quickly helping you get up. “Fuck! You don’t look at where you’re walking?!” You hissed, and he immediately stopped his movements. “I said I’m sorry! And if there’s someone to blame here, it’s you!” He retaliated, making you widen your eyes.

“I’m sorry, what?!!! You came crashing into me like a fucking truck and I’m the one to blame?!” You practically yelled, you just couldn’t believe this boy. “As if! You turned so fast that it gave me no other option!” He scoffed, making you even angrier.

“Okay, it’s Christmas and I don't want to stress myself right now so can you please help me find my keys so I can go?!” Taking a deep breath, you asked your not so friendly neighbor. “To finally get you out of here? With pleasure!” He mocked and you had to restrain yourself from slapping him.

You two looked everywhere and when you were starting to lose hope, your neighbor, whose name you recalled being Tom said, “I found them but you’re not gonna like it where it is!” Rushing to his side you saw what he was talking about. He indeed found your keys but they were inside the floor drain, with metal bars locking it pretty safely.

“No, no, no! I need those keys!” You whined, getting on your knees to try and get them out of there but it was a failed attempt. “Can you help me, please?!” You yelled, outraged Tom wasn’t doing anything. “What do you want me to do? There’s no way we’re getting them out of there.” He exclaimed. “I don’t know, get a stick or something. I’m gonna try to fish them out.”

After a couple of minutes trying to look for something, Tom came back with a toilet plunger. “Seriously?!” You asked, to which he rolled his eyes. “Do you want my help or not?” He questioned, crossing his arms, making them look even bigger than they already are, which it’s completely not to the point here.

Your attempt to rescue your keys was not successful, since all you ended up doing was pushing them further into the drain until you couldn’t see them anymore. “Fuck! No, no, no!” You cried, desperately trying to take them out. “Just accept it, they’re gone!” Tom stated.

“How am I supposed to get to my sister’s house now? And my house keys were there too!” You groaned, which made him laugh. “Stop laughing! That’s not funny!” You finally gave up and got out of the ground, standing beside him. “I’m sorry but it is kinda funny!” He continued to laugh and you couldn’t help but slapped his arm. “It’s all your fault!” You scolded.

“Not this again, it was your fault too!” Tom retorted, making you even angrier. “Fuck! What am I supposed to do now? I have to get to my sister’s.” You paced around the small room, feeling your anxiety starting to build up in your chest. “Okay, I’ll call an Uber, stay at her place tonight, and tomorrow I can call someone to take care of this, right?” You asked, mostly to yourself.

“I guess…?” Tom answered, to which you rolled your eyes. “I wasn’t talking to you!” With long strides and without saying another word, you made your way out of the laundry room. “You’re not going to thank me for my help?” Tom smirked, making you stop. “Of course, how could I forget to thank the person who caused all of this in the first place?” You mocked. “Oh, c’mon!” Tom insisted. “Goodbye, thanks for nothing!” You jeered, completely dismissing him.

Once you were out of the room, you thought your problems were gone but once you got to open the door, it didn’t move. You tried again, and again and again and again. Nothing. Snorting, you tried one last time before giving up and kicking the metal thing with your boot covered feet.

“Yeah, about that…” You jumped at the sudden sound of Tom’s voice. “Fuck! What do you want now?” You questioned, losing your patience. “It seems like we’re snowed in, it’s all over the news, apparently there’s another snowstorm coming and the roads are all blocked.” He informed you while leaning on his door frame with his arms crossed.

“You’re kidding me, right?!” You exclaimed, feeling your heartbeat speed up. “Nope!” He shrugged, making you panic.”No, no, no! You’re playing with me, I don’t believe you!” You practically yelled. “Well, see it for yourself!” Tom offered, mentioning for you to come inside his house, where he had the tv on.

You hesitated, after all, you had never set foot in any of your neighbor's houses, but eventually accepted his offer and went into his house. And of course, just like he said, the snowstorm was all over the news with big headlines saying: “All the roads are blocked, for your safety, stay home!”

You groaned loudly, putting both of your hands on your head, and just when you thought the moment couldn’t get any worse, your phone started ringing again. “Fuck! She’s going to kill me!” You took a deep breath, before finally answering your sister’s call.

“Hey, Maya! No, I’m not! I’m stuck here, the door won’t open because of the snow! Yeah, I know! No, there’s no one working today, Maya! And the roads are too dangerous to drive. I’m sorry, I promise I’ll make it to lunch tomorrow. I’m sorry, I love you! Bye!”

Ending the call, you realized you were still in Tom’s apartment, while he looked at you like you were some type of alien. “Just so you know, you ruined my sister’s first Christmas dinner at her new house.” You informed him, to which he scoffed, plopping himself on the sofa.

“For the last time, it was your fault!” He said, taking the remote control, looking for something to watch. You felt extremely uncomfortable so you made your way to the door, wanting to get out of this asshole’s house. “Well, it’s been a pleasure but I think I’m gonna head home now. Again, thank you for ruining my Christmas.” You grumbled, opening the door when you heard him clear his throat.

“What now?” You snapped, raising your voice. “You sure you’re not forgetting anything?” He inquired, leaving you confused, but all it took was a couple of seconds for you to realize something. Your house keys. They were gone. “Fuck! No, no, no! There’s no way I’m gonna find a locksmith on Christmas eve. What am I supposed to do?” You groaned, feeling frustrated.

“You could always… stay here?” Tom offered, making you laugh. “Funny! There’s no way I’m spending Christmas with you!” You scoffed, crossing your arms. “Well then, good luck staying outside or with another one of our neighbors. Oh, right! There’s no one else here, it’s just us.” He smirked, making your blood boil.

Here goes your Christmas.

Sitting in complete silence in Tom's living room, with him watching a golf championship, while his house looked everything but Christmassy, you regret ever complaining about your sister’s Christmas party. “Do you want anything?” He asked from his side of the sofa. “No! Thanks!” You stated, crossing your arms.

“Oh, c’mon! We’re stuck here until God knows how long, don’t you think we should start to, at least, get to know each other? I’ll start, my name is Tom!” He said, to which you, once again, rolled your eyes. “Oh, I know your name!” You exclaimed, annoyed with his sudden enthusiasm.

“Look at that!” He smirked and you quickly realized how that must’ve sounded for him. “Yeah, the girls you bring home aren’t exactly discreet, and believe me when I say that these walls are very thin.” You declared, watching his smirk only grow in size. “What can I say? I know how to pleasure women.” Tom bragged, making you want to throw up. “Please, I don’t wanna hear it!”

“I was joking! What about you though, I still don’t know your name and we’ve been neighbors for what? Two years now?” He asked, completely forgetting the tv, now focusing solely on you. “I don’t know, something like that. And my name’s y/n!” You said. “Cute! And what do you do?” He questioned.

“I’m a personal chef!” You acknowledge, Tom instantly raising his eyebrows. “Fancy…” He teased, making you chuckle. “There’s nothing fancy about being in front of a stove twelve hours a day, serving people who sometimes don’t even know what a reduction is.” You added and Tom raised his eyebrows even higher. “You also have no idea what a reduction is, right?” He shook his head, to which you scoffed. “What about you?”

“I work as a personal trainer!” He exclaimed, clearly excited with his position. “That explains a lot!” You whispered to yourself, thinking about the size of his arms, shoulder, back… “What?!” Tom smirked, having listened to your words. “Nothing! I didn’t say anything!” You stated, to which he laughed.

After a couple of minutes of complete silence, Tom cleared his throat, before asking, “So… bringing no one to your sister’s Christmas dinner?” You rolled your eyes. “Don’t even tell me about it, she’s been bothering me about it since her wedding.” You blurted, suddenly realizing your mistake. “And I don’t know why I just told you this because you’re practically a stranger and this was very personal information.” You commented, feeling your cheeks heat up.

“It’s alright, don’t worry!” Tom assured, making you smile. “Well, it seems like I’m doing all the questions here, do you wanna ask something?” You didn’t even think about it for too long. “Why’s your house not decorated? I noted that your door is the only one without a garland.” You asked, dying to know the answer since you stepped foot in his house.

“Oh, it’s just… I live alone and my family is not here so, I don’t know, it doesn’t bother me.” He shrugged and you felt your heart sink hearing him said that. “Not even a tree? I mean, c’mon… everyone loves a Christmas tree!” You stated, to which he chuckled. “I actually have one, I just haven’t put it up,” Tom mumbled.

“What?! Can we do it?” You exclaimed. “Do it, like… right now?” He questioned, confused with your sudden burst of energy. “Yeah, if I’m going to spend Christmas here, I want to at least feel festive.” You stated, getting excited. “I mean, yeah, sure! Go for it!” Tom nodded, getting off the couch to pick up the tree.

When he came back with a giant box, you got up to help. “Can I take my coat and boots off? They’re very uncomfortable!” You asked and Tom nodded. Once you had everything off, you guys started to adjust the tree branches one by one, until it was perfect to start decorating.

With a box of ornaments by your side, you started arranging them on the tree, while Tom disappeared in the kitchen, making you think he just didn’t want to help. But, once he came out of the room carrying two mugs of what you assumed was hot chocolate, you couldn’t help but smile.

“For me?” You teased, to which he chuckled. “Yeah, I mean, it looks like we’re going to be here for a while so I thought, we better have something to drink.” He resonated, watching you take a sip of the hot liquid. “It’s perfect, thanks, Tom!” You smiled and he reciprocated.

“You wanna watch something?” Tom asked after a couple of minutes of silence. “Well, since now we’re all in, a Christmas movie would be great!” You said. “Why was I sure you’ll say that?” He grunted, making you smile.

With Home Alone on the tv and mugs of hot chocolate in hands, you and Tom kept decorating the tree and it didn’t take much for it to start to look festive. Since the tree had the lights already in, all it took was Tom plugging the power on for it to lit up, showing all the ornaments you and him had put and making the house feel instantly more festive.

“It looks beautiful!” You beamed, while from the corner of your eye, you saw Tom looking at you. “Stop!” You protested, hearing him chuckle. “What?” He asked, feigning ignorance. “I can see you looking at me and not the tree.” You crossed your arms, finally taking a look at him. “Well, everyone looks at what they find the most beautiful, isn't that right?” He smirked and you swore you felt little butterflies on your stomach.

“You’re such a flirt!” You scoffed, deciding it was best to play it off rather than acknowledging what he said. “I told you I know how to pleasure women.” He blinked, to which you groaned, mimicking wanting to throw up.

“So… what now?” Tom asked, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “I don’t know, I’m kinda hungry though. What were you going to have for dinner?” You asked, and he instantly widened his eyes. “I… didn’t really think about that. I was probably going to order something.” He shrugged, making you roll your eyes.

“Well, that’s not possible anymore, so what do you have in mind?” You questioned, leaning beside him. “I mean… you’re the chef here…” Tom snickered, to which you scoffed. “You’re seriously going to make me work on Christmas?” He pouted and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Fine! What do you have in this house?” You sighed, making your way to the kitchen. “I think I have chicken, some potatoes, frozen peas, eggs, milk, and a couple of oranges,” Tom informed you while looking in the fridge. “Let me think… I can make mashed potatoes, sautéed peas, and roasted chicken with… orange sauce. What do you think?” You said, matter of factly.

“I think it’s way more than I could do in my entire life.” He exclaimed, making you laugh. “So… care to help?” You asked and he nodded, making his way to your side. “What can I do?”

You instructed Tom to peel, dice, and boil the potatoes, while you seasoned the chicken and put it in the oven. You two kept working side by side in the kitchen and the more time you spent together, the more you got comfortable around each other.

Tom put on some Christmas music, per your request, and even took your hand, making you dance to one of Mariah Carey’s songs until the smell of something burning hit your nostrils. Once everything was ready, you set the table, and you two finally seated down to eat the improvised Christmas dinner.

“So… what do you think?” Anxious, you asked Tom as soon as he put the fork in his mouth. “Don’t tell my mom I said that but this is the best meal I’ve ever had. Holy shit!” He exclaimed, making you smile. “C’mon, you’re exaggerating!” You tried to reason but he wasn’t having it. “I’m not! This is so good!”

“Well, thank you! I appreciated it! Cheers!” You raise your glass, which was currently filled with the wine Tom found in one of the cabinets. “Cheers!” He repeated, raising his glass.

Tom got a FaceTime call from his family In the middle of your dinner and after asking if he could take it, he answered the call. “Hi, baby! Merry Christmas!” You could hear a feminine voice saying. “Hi, mom, Merry Christmas!” Tom responded with a smile on his face.

“We’re just about to eat, what are you doing?” The same voice asked, to which he answered, “Oh, I’m eating… takeout.” Tom said, making you feign being offended by his words. “Oh honey, I wish you were here with us! We all miss you so much! Promise you’ll try to come next year, please?”

“Yes, mom! I promise!” Tom said, passing his fingers through his brown curly hair. “Okay, we’re gonna leave you now. We love you so much, Thomas! Merry Christmas!” The woman on the other side of the call said, making him blush. “I love you guys too! Merry Christmas, everyone! Bye!” Tom gave his phone a little wave, before ending the call.

“Sorry, she can be a little… persistent!” He apologized, to which you shrugged. “It’s alright, I don’t mind.” You assured him, taking a sip of wine. “But why didn’t you tell them about me?” You added, making him smirk.

“Trust me, if I told them I had a girl with me, they’d expect you to go home with me for the next Christmas,” Tom explained. “Is this an invitation?” You smirked, raising your eyebrows. “Only if you want to.” He winked, to which you rolled your eyes.

“You guys are not from here, right?” You asked. “What? The accent gave it away?” Tom inquired, making his british accent even stronger. “A little bit!” You answered and you both laughed. “We’re from England, I moved here about two years ago.” He told you. “Why? If you don’t mind me asking.” You said. “I had a pretty rough breakup back then and I don’t know, just wanted a new start.” He explained, seemingly saddened.

“I’m sorry!” You apologized but Tom was quick to dismiss. “It’s alright! What about you? Is your family from here?” He asked, to which you nodded. “Yeah, they’re all from here.” You answered, taking another sip.

After a couple of hours, you and Tom were finally finished with dinner and cleaning the kitchen. Now, you were both seated on the sofa, watching yet another Christmas movie. You had no idea how, but as time passed, you and Tom got closer and closer, until you were both cuddled up in the middle of the sofa, with both of your legs covered by a blanket.

You were close, your faces were almost touching and when you were about to close your eyes, Tom whispered, “Look up!” And you did, finding a mistletoe hanging loosely on top of you. “When did you do that?” You asked, failing to contain a smile. “I mean, since you’re all about Christmas traditions, I thought it was only fitting.” He smirked and you finally closed the gap between you two.

“You know, my Christmas wasn’t that bad after all.” You joked, to which he laughed, “Mine either!” He agreed, kissing you again. “Merry Christmas!” You smiled. “Merry Christmas!” Tom exclaimed, before going right back to your lips, where he stayed for the rest of the night.

tagging some of my mutuals ✨ @stuckonspidey @definitely-not-black-cat @missnxthingg @bi-writes @screamholland @peeterparkr @duskholland @wazzupmrstark @tomhollandthing @lauras-collection @tommybaholland @mrs-hollandstan @allyz @hazinhoodies @hollandcreep @worldoftom @whatevsholland @geminiparkers

[cocastyle]

Robin — Prologue

Pairing - Joel Dawson x reader

Word Count - 2,756

A/N - and here is the prologue! this series is going to be so much fun and I hope everyone enjoys it as much as me! comment how you think it’s going so far and any theories you think may happen during the series!

if you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

R O B I N

Robin Series Masterlist

⭒❃.✮:▹   PROLOGUE   ◃:✮.❃⭒

"I didn't really have your typical upbringing. I mean, I did at first, but then the world ended. I mean, I don't think anyone was really shocked. We always thought it might, and then it just finally happened. But how it happened, now that's where it gets interesting."

"Agatha 616."

"Hey! I wanted to be the one to say that. You totally just stole my thunder, Robin. As disappointing as that just was, she's right. Yep, an asteroid heading straight for Earth. I know. So obvious. So, humanity came together, and we did what we do best."

"We shot a bunch of rockets at it!"

"And we blew it up! And it was great!"

"But it wasn't."

"Once again, she's right. You see, the thing that makes rockets rockets. . .chemical compounds, a lot of 'em. Which rained back down on us, and everything changed."

"And by 'everything,' he means cold-blooded creatures. And by 'changed,' he means mutated and started eating us to death."

"Ants, lizards, roaches, crocodiles. You name it. There's a lot of 'em. Actually, we knew this one kid who was eaten in his sleep by a goldfish he won at a carnival."

"Poor Todd."

"He loved that goldfish."

"And that cat of his that got eaten."

"Rest in piece, buddy. So, for most of human history, if you wanted to kill a cockroach, right, all you needed was a shoe. Well, suddenly you needed a shotgun. And sometimes even a tank. And sometimes even that doesn't work. Especially if you don't stay in the tank, Bob."

"Bob?"

"I was just saying a random name. I don't know if his name is actually Bob."

"Then why—?"

"Y/N."

"Right. Your speech, not mine. Sorry."

"Eventually, the really big creatures and our military took each other out. We lost 95% of the human population in about a year. That's a lot of Bobs."

"And a lot of Todds."

"Exactly. Those of us who survived we hid anywhere we could — bunkers, caves, panic rooms, all around the world. So for the last seven years Y/N and I have been living in an underground bunker. And it's not as bad as it sounds. Really. It's a great group of people, and we all love each other. You know, it's kinda what I imagined college would have been like."

"Definitely not, but believe what you want. Anyways, like Joel said, we've been living in an underground bunker for the past seven years. It's not always been the best at times, but we do what we need to in order to survive. But for you to understand our story, we need to go back to the beginning. . .to the day it all happened."

"Seven years ago, back when we were sixteen."

- - -

Seven Years Ago

Fairfield, California

The last thing Y/N wanted was to wake up at 5:30 on a summer morning, yet that was exactly what happened on the day the world ended. The annoying beeping sounds filling the air were all Y/N could focus on as she came to, her eyes squeezing shut as she groaned in annoyance and shoved her face into the pillow she was laying on.

She lazily shot her hand out and attempted to reach for her alarm clock, but hesitated when her hand hit what she knew to be the lamp that sat on the table in her living room. Y/N let out a sigh before slowly opening her eyes and looking around. It took a moment for her to realize what was happening, but once she saw the tv that was still on, the pizza box laying on the table with only one slice left, and the figure beside her on the couch Y/N knew what had happened.

Groaning as she looked towards her best friend Joel Dawson who had passed out on the couch beside her, the girl lifted up a pillow before saying, "Joel. Joel, wake up." The boy didn't respond, the only noise escaping his lips being the sound of his own snores. His watch was beeping on his arm, but he didn't seem to be fazed by it.

Y/N frowned before taking the pillow she had picked up and whacking Joel with it. The boy jumped in surprise and fell off the couch and onto the floor. Y/N fell back with a satisfied sigh while Joel groaned on the ground.

"What was that for?" Joel complained, lazily sitting up and rubbing at his eyes while the two looked tiredly at each other.

"Shut that stupid watch up before I do it myself," Y/N murmured. "And by 'do it myself' I mean I'm going to destroy that little fucker so it can never beep again."

Joel cracked a small smile at that before looking down at his watch and turning it off. His eyes flickered over the time and he frowned. "It's 5:30 in the morning? Wasn't it just midnight?" he asked.

"I think we fell asleep during the middle of Civil War. That's what we get for trying to watch all the Marvel movies in a row with no sleep," she said with a yawn as she closed her eyes once again.

"We were behind anyways," Joel pointed out as he pulled himself up off of the ground and back onto the couch so that he could put on his shoes. "We wouldn't have finished before I had to leave. Speaking of which, I've got to go. Aimee should be picking me up soon and I smell like pizza and tears."

"It's not my fault you cry during almost every movie," Y/N retorted.

"They're just so good!" Joel argued making Y/N smile softly as she let her eyes open up long enough to admire the boy. He was tying his last shoe, so didn't seem to notice as she slowly ran her eyes over the features of his face. However, the moment he was sitting back up, Y/N closed her eyes to make it seem like she wasn't watching him.

Joel looked towards her and stared at her for a moment before smiling and reaching out for the blanket that was already falling off of her and onto the floor. He picked it up and shook off the crumbs from the food they had eaten before laying it on top of the girl.

"Why do you have to leave?" Y/N whispered, opening her eyes up a bit while Joel finished fixing the blanket and kneeled onto the ground in front of her. He leaned against the edge of the couch so that the two could be face to face. The lack of distance was enough to make Y/N’s heart skip a beat, but she knew Joel wasn't thinking anything of it.

"I'm just going to go see Aimee for a little bit so that we can watch the sunrise. I'll be back after, okay?" Joel said. Y/N studied him for a moment before nodding her head. The boy grinned and pulled away to get up onto his feet again. "You try and catch up on some z's while I'm gone." Y/N nodded again and Joel leaned down to press a quick kiss to her forehead, an action that made the girl close her eyes in a moment of pure bliss. "I'll be back soon, Robin."

Y/N smiled softly at the nickname Joel had given her. He liked to refer to themselves as Batman and Robin and seeing as he had insisted he was Batman in their friendship, Joel had grown to call her Robin so much over the years that it now flowed off of his tongue naturally. Y/N had never bothered arguing with Joel about who was actually Batman, instead relishing in the way Joel would flash her that goofy grin of his when he called her Robin.

Y/N got too lost in her thoughts to notice Joel walking away until she heard the sound of the front door opened and closed. She opened her eyes for a moment, her heart sinking slightly as she thought about how Joel was leaving to be with his girlfriend Aimee. However, not wanting to dwell on the fact for too long, Y/N just closed her eyes and willed herself to go back to sleep.

Even after she fell asleep, her dreams were filled of nothing but her best friend who she had found herself falling for more and more since the second grade. Not that she was complaining. This was what her life usually was like. Y/N secretly pining over Joel while he dated other girls. It was hard to see, but Y/N knew that as long as he was happy, she would be happy even if it meant they didn't end up together.

Y/N slept for quite a while, hoping she would wake up to Joel returning and hopping back onto the couch with her. However, what she wasn't expecting was for the sound of an explosion to send her jolting off the couch while her whole house shook around her.

The girl fell to the ground with a groan, but her eyes shot open wide as the ground shook again and another explosion filled the air. "What-?" she whispered before slowly pulling herself up off of the floor and looking out the window. Her eyes widened at the sight of fire in the horizon and she felt a surge of panic wash over her as she heard the screams of people filling the air as families started running out of their houses.

"Mom! Dad!" Y/N called out, her parents running down the stairs not too long after that with their pajamas still on and their eyes still fighting away the sleep that had taken over them only a couple of moments before.

Y/N could barely process what was happening after that. The next thing she knew, they were all dressed and throwing their stuff into their car. Her parents were running around and arguing over what they actually needed, so the brunette took the time to look next door where Joel's house stood. Her eyes flickered over the scene, attempting to find her best friend but only seeing his parents.

"Y/N!" Mrs. Dawson exclaimed as she caught sight of the girl. She frantically ran across the yard to her, her hands grabbing onto Y/N’s arms as she asked, "Where's Joel? Where—Where is he?"

"I-I don't know," Y/N admitted, her eyes wide with panic as she still tried to process what was happening. "He left to go see Aimee earlier this morning. He didn't tell me where they went."

Mrs. Dawson frowned and was just about to say something more when a red jeep came barreling down the road and stopped in front of the house. Mrs. Dawson released Y/N immediately while the girl let out a sigh of relief as she saw Joel stumble out of the car.

"I'm sorry!" Joel exclaimed, barely getting his feet onto the ground before Y/N was running at him and practically jumping into his arms for a hug. Joel didn't hesitate to hug her back, his grip tight as he looked towards his mother.

"Thank God! Where have you been, Joel?" his mother asked.

"We have to go right now. Say your goodbyes, get in the car," his father told them.

Y/N then seemed to noticed Aimee who was watching her warily as if she could see right through the girl's facade. She let go of Joel and squeezed his arm before nodding towards Aimee. "Go say goodbye to her. I'm going to finish packing up and then we can talk," she told him.

Y/N didn't give Joel time to respond before she was running back over to her house where her parents were now throwing the last of their things into the car. She helped toss a few more things into the car before closing the trunk with her father. "Go say goodbye, Y/N. We need to leave. Now," her father said causing Y/N to blink in surprise.

"Goodbye? Aren't we going with the Dawsons?" she asked.

"Honey, we don't know where we're going. Our priority is keeping you safe, not trying to stay with the Dawsons," her mother told her.

"But—" Y/N began.

"Y/N," her father sternly said. Y/N frowned slightly and then with a shaky breath turned to begin her way over to Joel who was staring after his girlfriend as she walked towards her jeep.

"Aimee!" he called out causing Y/N to slow down her steps as she caught sight of the look in his eyes. "I love you."

Y/N went rigid at that, the sound of Joel saying those words to someone else making her feel like she may be sick. Tears begin to spring in her eyes and she desperately tried to stop herself, but she couldn't help it. She knew Joel had dated other girls before, but hearing him proclaim his love for one was something she had never had to witness.

And it hurt.

"I love you too," Aimee told him.

"I'm gonna come find you," Joel assured her.

"You better," Aimee said before hopping into her jeep and driving away.

Y/N was still frozen in place, her tears now falling freely down her face while Joel looked her way. His heart broke at the sight of her and he didn't hesitate to run over and wrap her up in his embrace. "Hey, we're going to be okay," he whispered, thinking that her tears were because of them having to say goodbye and not because of the interaction he had just had with Aimee.

Y/N seemed to snap out of her trance at that and she gripped onto Joel tightly, her tears becoming worse as she realized this could potentially be the last time she saw her best friend. "Joel," she whimpered. "This can't be goodbye."

"Hey, hey," Joel said as he pulled away enough to wipe way her tears, his hands cupping the sides of her face. "It's not. We've survived everything together. I'm not about to let this stand in our way either. We're Batman and Robin, remember? We'll always find our way back to each other."

Y/N let her eyes flicker over Joel's face, a few more tears rolling down her cheeks before she held her hand out. "Batman," she said with a small nod.

"Robin," Joel whispered, nodding back at her as he clasped her hand with his own. They held onto each other tightly before Y/N hugged him one last time.

"I love you," she whispered, knowing very well that he didn't understand the true meaning of her words.

"I love you too. We'll find each other, okay?" he said before he noticed Y/N’s parents anxiously staring at the pair. Sighing, Joel squeezed her tight one last time before pulling away and leaning forward to press a small kiss to her forehead. "Bye, Robin." And then he gave her that small goofy smile of his that only made her heart ache more.

"Bye, Joel," she whispered, allowing herself to look at him one last time before turning and running to the car her parents were already climbing into. Y/N didn't dare look back, knowing that if she did it would only make it that much worse.

We're Batman and Robin, remember?

We'll always find our way back to each other.

- - -

"Long story short, I was right and we did find each other again. Granted it took two weeks, but—"

"Well, sorry. I didn't exactly have the colony there to pick me up when my parents died. I had to find you guys all on my own."

"And I see my mistake and I apologize. You did better than I ever could and I love you for it. You see, Y/N’s been my best friend since we were in kindergarten. Some jerk named Harley thought it would be funny to shove me off the swing set and take the swing from me. Y/N thought differently and punched him so hard he flew off the swing as if he had purposefully jumped off."

"I got sent to the principal's office right after, but I gained Joel as my best friend, so it wasn't a complete loss."

"We've been practically inseparable ever since and not even the apocalypse was able to keep us apart for too long."

"And now that you all know how our story began and a little bit about us, we can skip ahead to where we are now, seven years later in an underground bunker."

"This is where our story really begins.”

[inacatastrophicmind]

Hey, this is another ask about the big sad but it's a little different.

What I figured out a long time ago and is now my go-to starting point for this is:

You don't actually want to *die* ; what you want is a life without the problems you are facing. Whether those are family, professional/school, mental, friends, relationships, anything. Whatever the problems you have, what you really want is a life without those problems.

When you're deep in it, sometimes you just want these things to be over and to never have to deal with it again. Whether that is in the form of suicidal ideations, wanting to pick up and move and start over in a new place, wanting to crash your car or get into some kind of trouble so you don't have to do a job/school you hate anymore, etc.

But none of that actually solves the problems. It just ends your ability to live the life you want to live.

So then the question is, what is the first steps you can take towards making the life you want to live a reality?

Saving money/getting help to get out of a bad situation? Cutting contact with certain people? Etc.

I was suicidal as a kid because I was bullied at school and not allowed to be myself at home either. I was also punished and pressured a lot by my family. (This is a quick glossing ove; I'm not going to specify and make this about me.). I attempted several times but thankfully as a kid I didn't have the knowhow to succeed. I don't think my family knows even though I almost got caught once.

Then after I became an adult I had a bad relationship (again I'll spare the details - emotional abuse) and a couple of times I walked up the road to get away for a bit and had in my head that I could go hide where they wouldn't find me and drink myself to death. Never actually tried to do it though.

And now I'm in a situation where I'm happy with my personal life (except for the fam, who are homophobic on top of everything which guess what - applies to me but they can't know that (although they're supportive of my career and so so of my hobbies and are the reason I have food and shelter)) but I'm temporarily stuck in a job I cannot take another day of (and have been at that status for months). I fantasize about fucking off to California or somewhere and starting from scratch, leaving a mess and likely losing my professional licensure but being sorta ok with that. Or morbidly I often think that if I had a car wreck then I wouldn't be expected to show up and that I could more easily work my way out of this. I have no desire to actually do that though because pain and possible permanent injury. And also my car is the only thing of value that I own.

But you know what I'm doing? I'm working on step by step doing the things I need to do to get out of this job clean and move on. I have legal obligations to finish certain things so it's unfortunately not something I can just walk out of as much as I may want to.

I have felt trapped and broken, but I am working on it, baby steps.

No matter how trapped or dire your situation may feel, there is a way out.

Your family and friends can help you in many ways; you probably need to ask for the specific help you need (cooked meals, someone to talk to, an accountability buddy, etc.).

I saw in another ask you mentioned 12 years of failures. Although you may have had some disappointments, try not to compare yourself to others. While other people your age may have done x,y,&z, you have done other things that they haven't done. There is no specific age and accomplishment benchmark for success.

And most importantly, your happiness and health come first. Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Seriously. Let go of caring what anyone, even your family, thinks about it. Just do what you need to do to make your life the life you want to live.

I rambled for too long, but I hope this is helpful.

-@sohelpmejack (it's a sideblog so I'm signing with a tag)

Sorry for taking so long to answer. I was at work and I knew that if I answered, I'd start crying. I had to fight really hard against the tears when I read this.

First of all, I'm sorry you had to deal with all that shit and that you still have to deal with some of those. And i hope that you find your goals and happiness soon.

I agree with what you said that I don't really want to die, I just don't want to live the life I have. I've been trying to get the life I want to have for around 10 years, but things keep going to shit over and over again, and I'm just tired of failing all the time. I'm just tired of trying really hard and never being enough.

I know I should just go step by step and don't compare myself to others, but I still have to work through my low self steem and hating myself first, and that is a constant work in progress.

I also know that my friends could help me, but not my family. Every time I feel slightly bad and talk about it, they think I'm being stupid or that I should just put up with it, that there are worst things in the world. Luckily my two best friends help me, but I'm always sscared of asking too much becuase I don't want to be a burden. Also, I really have a hard time talking about this in front of people.

Anyway, thank you for your message. I'll try to find some little happiness and get the life I want, even if I'm exhausted of life.

Thank you for this.

[moonstruckholland]

Can We Go Back To Bed? (t.h)

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: 2,497

Warnings: angst, fluff if you squint, flashbacks

A/N: this was supposed to come out a couple of months ago 😅 but here she is, the first one shot of my Cosmic Soul series! Shout out to @fangirlwithasweettooth and @hollandsamor for being amazing and reading this over for me! I really hope y'all like it 💕

Tom had never felt as far from you as he did lying next to you tonight.

Lying next to you was honestly a bit of an overstatement. With the way you were laying, there was enough space between you to fit a whole other person on the bed. You were curled up on your side, so close to the edge, Tom was worried with one wrong move you’d just roll onto the floor. He considered reaching out, moving next you, but for the first time since you started dating he was truly scared of being rejected, of the pain he knew he'd feel if you pulled away from him.

He wanted nothing more than to touch you, kiss you, anything. He just wanted to feel close to you. Instead he quietly got up, careful not to wake you as he made his way out the room, the whole night replaying in his head.

Everything was off from the moment he walked through the door.

“Princess? I'm home!"

Flowers in hand, he walked through the apartment, looking for you. He heard a door open and a soft, “Tom?” come from the bathroom as he set his luggage down in your bedroom.

“I’m here, baby.”

You poked your head out of the doorway, hair wet and matted, a towel wrapped around your body, “Tom! Hi!”

He had expected you to run up to him and jump into his arms, like you always did before.

Instead, you casually walked over, kissing his cheek as if he hadn't been gone for months, "You didn't tell me you were coming home!"

He hadn't thought much about in the moment, but now, he could tell something was just wrong.

He knew something would be different, that was the price that came with being gone for months at a time. But not with you.

You'd always been a constant for Tom, giving him a wonderful sense of security he lacked in his hectic life. He knew no matter he could count on coming home to your warm and loving embrace.

Or at least he did.

The rest of the night had been just as weird as when he came in. You had your normal movie marathon like you did every time Tom came home, but this time around that feeling that you were out of reach was in the back of Tom's head.

You were too far, barely touching him, and you sure as hell didn't say a word to him. The normal joking around was gone, replaced with silence despite the sounds of the movie surrounding the both of you.

You had asked him questions every once in a while, about his flight, if he was tired or hungry. If he hadn't been paying too much attention, he would've thought it was just you being your normal, caring self, but it was too polite, like he was just someone visiting.

He couldn't stop dwelling on it no matter how hard he tried and that's how he found himself walking around the apartment, coming to realize it just as different as you were.

It was all little things and maybe if he didn't feel the need to look so closely, he probably never would've noticed, but he couldn't help it now.

There were flowers everywhere, fake ones in pretty vases all around because the real ones made you sad when they inevitably died. Tom could almost picture how excited you must've been setting up each vase and how long it probably took you to decide where to put them because you were such a perfectionist.

The blankets and pillows on the couch were different too, cute little sayings stitched into each one, and Tom wondered when you'd gotten then. You used to always tell him when you got new things. When was the last time you'd mentioned going to Hobby Lobby or Target?

What stuck out to Tom the most were the pictures you had. Some of the old pictures of the two of you were replaced with people he'd never seen before, he assumed co-workers, though he couldn't recall you telling him about anyone in the photos with you.

He felt a pang of guilt. How much had he missed?

He finally came across a familiar picture, one Harrison had taken of the two of you when you weren't looking the day you moved into this apartment together. You and Tom were smiling goofily at each other, pulling out things from a box on the floor.

Tom couldn't help smiling as he thought back to that day, to how happy you were.

"Tommy, baby, you have to be careful carrying that box. It has all our plates and I don't think you're gonna want to eat off a napkin." You warned him as you watched him carry the heavy box on his own, despite you and Haz both offering to help.

"I'll be careful, princess, I promise," he said confidently before somehow tripping over his own feet and hitting the wall, the plates clattering loudly

Tom looked back to see you rolling your eyes as if you knew he would do exactly that. He quickly put the box down on the floor, finding the box cutter on the kitchen counter and opening it up to make sure he hadn't broken anything.

He let out a sigh of relief before yelling out, "They're all okay!"

You shook your head at him, but Tom could see a smile on your face as you tried not to laugh.

You approached him, mumbling something about putting the plates away before Tom could break them.

Harrison was behind you, carrying a box without any complications, "It's not too late for me to take him back, y/n."

"I might just take you up on that, Haz."

"Hey!" Tom pouted, "You don't mean that do you, baby?"

You wrapped your arms around him, standing up on your tippy toes to plant a big kiss on his cheek, "Never, honey, I don't know what I'd do without you."

He put a hand on your waist, pressing a kiss to your lips before saying, "Good thing you're stuck with me then."

You were about to say something when you were rudely off by Haz throwing a napkin at you, "Oi, you two, come help me unpack your things please."

You pulled away from Tom, your laughter filling the room as you went to help. Tom watched, a warmth filling him as he thought about how lucky he was to be living this with you.

'What happened?’ He wondered with a sigh, the fond memories fading, leaving him with an achy feeling in his chest as he plopped down on the couch.

The sound of the bedroom door opening startled him, pulling him out of thoughts completely.

“Baby?” You shuffled over to him sleepily, eyes squinting at the bright light, “What are you doing up so late?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

You nodded, taking a seat beside him, laying your head on the soft cushion.

“What’s wrong, Tommy?”

Tommy. It was a nickname he had grown to love over the years.

“My Tommy,” you’d always say, usually right caressing his face fondly or pressing your lips to his.

He hadn’t realized just how much he missed hearing it or how long it’d been since the last time it came from your lips.

He didn't answer your question, looking down at his fingers. What was he supposed to say? "Hey, babe, I feel like our relationship is falling apart and I was wondering if you felt the same?"

No, he absolutely couldn't say that, but he couldn't just not say anything at all.

You gently touched his face, grabbing his drifting attention once more, "Baby, talk me. What's going on?"

He debated with his thoughts for a moment longer, before finally deciding to work up the courage to speak what was on his mind.

"I miss you."

You gave him a little smile, "I'm right here, silly."

"Are you?"

One question and Tom started to wonder if he should've kept his mouth shut, the hurt and confusion that immediately came over your face causing his heart to ache more than he thought was possible.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Y/n, you're sitting right in front me and I still feel like you're a million miles away."

You were speechless, not expecting those words to come out of his mouth.

"I, um, I don't know what you mean," you stammered out quickly, clearly lying.

Of course you knew what he meant, how could you not? A feeling of remorse flooded your body, you knew you'd been a bit distant, but you didn't know it'd been this bad or noticable.

It'd been so long since you really got to talk to Tom, both of you swamped with work and social lives, your paths barely crossed anymore. Before you knew it, your once amazing relationship, full of great communication, had been reduced to superficial and empty conversations.

"You don't? So nothing feels different between us right now?"

"I don't know what to say, Tom," you sat up, as if to get a better look at him, but you didn't meet his eyes, "Yes, something's different. Did you expect everything to be exactly the way you left it months ago?"

"No, I just," he ran his fingers through his hair, and you could tell he was choosing his words carefully, "I wish you cared more."

'Fuck,' it was like being punched in the gut. Tom meant the absolute world to you and for him to think you didn't care? It broke your heart.

"I care, Tom," you practically whispered, your voice full of sadness.

He didn't say a word, nodding instead, as if he wasn't convinced.

You sat in silence, for what felt like forever, just staring at everywhere but each other before Tom finally said something.

"Do you remember when you, Haz, Z, and I would get super drunk and stay up all night playing Mario Kart?"

You smiled, for a second you could almost imagine the four of you sitting on the couch, yelling and laughing, having the time of your lives, "As if I could ever forget, even drunk I could kick all of your asses.”

"That’s because you would always cheat!"

"I would not!"

Tom jokingly rolled his eyes, and for a moment the tension was gone. You were back to normal, all of your fears and worries ceased to exist. It was like you’d gone back to a time where things were simpler.

The illusion came crashing down the second you softly and very sadly said, "I miss those days."

Tom almost wanted to agree with you, to continue to remicine the past with you and go back to the feeling of ease the two of you had just seconds ago. Instead he asked, "What are we going to do?"

You didn't meet his eyes, "I don't know."

“I think I should stop working for a while, take some time off.”

For a moment, a part of you considered what that would mean. Tom would be home more often, you could actually see him, spend time with him. That was the same part of you that wanted to beg him to stay every time he had to leave. It was begging you to encourage him, telling you it’d be the perfect opportunity to rekindle your relationship.

Another part of you knew better though. It’d be selfish to ask Tom to flush all his hard work down the drain for you. You weren’t worth his career.

“No, absolutely not,” letting the latter side fuel you, “Babe, you can’t just stop working.”

“Why not?”

"You've worked so hard, I’m not going to let you throw that away for me."

'I'm not worth it,' is what your mind was practically yelling at him. You truly believed you weren't. You were just one person, how could you compare to the years of work and effort he'd put into his career?

"Do you love me?"

The question almost caught you off guard, of course you loved him, a lack of love for the man standing in front of you was definitely not the problem.

"More than anything."

"Then, please, angel, let me do this."

Tom had a look in eyes, one full of determination and you knew he had already made up his mind, but you couldn't help feeling like you had to convince him otherwise.

"Acting is your dream, Tom."

“No, you and I,” he motioned between the two of you, tears starting to well up in his eyes, “together. That’s my dream.”

"I don't want to lose you."

"Hey," you grabbed his face gently, using your thumbs to caress his face soothingly, wiping his tears away, "I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm not ready, baby, I'm not,” he choked on a sob, heavy tears falling freely down his face now.

You didn't say anything, you just wrapped your arms around him, holding him tight against your chest. You hoped your actions spoke the words you wanted to speak, but didn’t know how. You loved Tom more than anything and seeing him hurting, seeing your relationship fail first hand was killing you.

You started crying as the full extent of the situation finally hit you. Your relationship was failing. It was failing and you didn’t know what to do or how to fix it.

You felt like you couldn't breathe, like there was something heavy, crushing you. You were glad to have Tom there, his presence the only comfort you had at the moment.

You weren’t sure how long you stayed like that in each other’s arms, your sobs eventually turning to soft cries before stopping all together, finally letting you catch your breath.

Tom untangled himself from you, his puffy eyes meeting yours, "Can we go back to bed?"

"Of course, Tommy."

You wiped the remaining tears off his face, then the ones on your own, before grabbing his hand and gently leading him back to your room, back to your bed, back to where he belonged.

You climbed in right after him, immediately settling into your designated spot in his arms, your back against his chest, his arms wrapped around your waist. It was almost normal.

Silence engulfed you immediately, leaving only the sound of your soft breaths and the loud rain outside.

There was so much you wanted to say, but you were scared. Everything was falling apart right in front of your eyes and the thought of admitting it terrified you. Almost as much as the thought of losing Tom all together.

But you knew that if you didn’t speak up now, there might not be another opportunity to. There might not be a relationship left to save.

So, you worked up the courage to lace your fingers through his, holding onto him tightly because in some ways your life did depend on it and you whispered, "I'm not ready to wake up either."

Tagging: @fangirlwithasweettooth @bravest-at-heart @constellatinq @hoe-forharry @devildisguiseasangel @ravenclawmarvel @hollandsamor @cosmicholland @fairytaleparker @hollandsosterfield @now-imagine @officiallyunofficialperson @stealth-spiderr @xxxxdelenaxxxx @its-the-aerieljeane @petersstarcadet @babebenhardy @antoouu @lovinnholland @kxrtwxgner @sleepybesson @brookeelee98 @awkwardfangirl2014 @nedthegay @petersmparker @parkeroffline @snjms02 @the-queen-procrastinator @tomhollandsumbrella @spideyosterfield @thollandx @styles-balor4eva @80sthottie @marvelobsessedteenager @marshyrebelcloud @sixwyrxstuff @tomshufflepuff @jillanaholland @itscaminow @howdyherron @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @undiadeestos

[levi-daughter]

Linhardt NSFW alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Linhardt loves to sleep, we all know that, but before falling asleep after a love night he always makes sure you don't need anything, and if you do he will do what he can to satisfy your needs. He's a caring guy, for sure. But once he's done and you don't need anything anymore he lies down next to you, hugs you tight and dozes off peacefully.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On him: he likes his, well, he doesn't really like anything about him except his smart brain, but you often say how much you like his soft hair, so he grew to like them too.

On you: everything. But if he really has to say just one thing he likes your thighs. He finds them soft to lay his head on while you're chilling, and he likes to grab them as he fucks you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He's not a stupid or reckless guy, he knows what happens if he cums inside you and, even if he'd really like to study his child's crest, he's not ready to have kids yet, so he never cums inside you, except when you tell him it's safe and you're more than 100% sure of that. If you're not, he'd cum on your belly or back, if he's really horny and he actually does an effort.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He does research, yeah, but what kind? When he first met you and fell in love with you he wanted to know everything there was to know about relationship, and this includes sex, of course. But since there are no such books in a monastery, he bought some on the black market and read them all. Yeah, yeah, that's his kind of research, sex research.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Didn't I just say he had to do research to know how to do things? He has like 0 experience. But he's learning, and quickly. Every time is better than the previous one and each time he reads something new he thinks you may enjoy he always tries it with you. He may be lazy but he's goooooooooood.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He's a master in the so called Lazy Man position, and we can all understand why. He's a lazy shit so you have to do all the work yourself, but he enjoys it when you ride him and he can see your red face close up and place kisses all over your neck. And above all he likes that in this position he can easily touch every inch of your body and caress your soft skin.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He doesn't joke around or say silly things, but he surely teases a little. With his subtle snipings he always teases you.

«That's the fastest you can go? I might as well fall asleep. Come on, go faster.»

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He doesn't care. I mean, the hair he has on the head are long, why should he cut the ones he has down there, the ones he never shows to anyone? At least that's what he thought before meeting you. He wants to be the best for you, and if you find hair gross he will shave them constantly, but if you like them he'll leave them a little bit longer. It all depends on you.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He doesn't really care. It's too much of a pain to do sweet things. He just does what he has to, nothing more nothing less.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Nah, that's too tiring. He prefers to sleep or doing research instead of these filthy activities. And if he's feeling really horny he has you to take care of his problems, so no problem.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

When he's in the mood he's much of a control freak. He likes to have control over your body, denying your orgasm, blocking your hands above your head, and when he's really really turned on he'd do a bit of dirty talk and of over stimulating. To be clear, the times when he's "really really horny" are like once every 2 months, sometimes more, sometimes less. But those times are the most exciting of all.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bed, his or yours makes no difference, what's important is that there's a comfy bed and a soft pillow to lay down on once everything is done. And that way you two can have a moment of intimacy, without risking for others to catch you.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Well, every talk about your rare crest is a really big turn on for him, but he also like to see you sleep. Seeing your fragile and vulnerable self, totally at his will, it's exciting. He always wakes you up to do dirty things.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He'd never hurt you in any way, of course, and if ever say you want him to stop he will without hesitation. He cares too much about you to risk to ruin everything by going too far.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He's so. Damn. Lazy. Effort? What's that? He surely prefers when you do all the work and give him a nice blowjob instead of actually doing anything. He just stands there and enjoys. He doesn't need to tell you anything, you just already know how to pleasure him.

But when he's in the mood and wants to give oral…girl, you've been blessed. He's so good at it! Like, is it possible to be this good? With his soft tongue and his long fingers he really sends you in heaven.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He doesn't care, whichever speed you want is fine when you're top. But when he is, oh god, he's so slow, caressing every part of your body with his beautiful hands, stimulating the right spots and hitting all the right places. It's just perfect. His warm body pressed against yours, his sensual and slow moves, way to go mate.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Nah, not his thing. When he wants to be with you, he wants to take his time. There's no need to rush things. He just needs his time to pleasure you the way he has to, so quickies are a total no.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's a man of science, and he likes to try the things he finds during his "researches", but if you're not comfortable with something he's suggesting he'd let that drop dead and never bring that the subject again.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

You'd be lucky if he went for more than two rounds. But those two rounds are always long and really satisfying, so it's fine to you.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

What for? He doesn't need them. He already has what's necessary between his legs.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

When he's in the mood he's quite the teaser and a master of dirty talks, but usually he's too tired to say more than «Yeah…! Keep going…!».

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

When in the mood he's loud as fuck, but he's usually really quite. He just lets out little moans and groans, grapping your ass or thighs tight.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

One time you approached him as he was in the library. You proposed to help him with his researches. There was just the two of you and this had already turned Linhardt on from the start, but when you said a really intelligent thing he couldn't control himself anymore. He took you on the table. It was amazing!

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He's not that big, but he's thicc. It's a nice thing he's got there, like 15 cm/5,9 inches.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His peak his of 3 times in a month, since he doesn't crave for it, so usually about 1/2 times per month.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Immediately. The time to say two words like «It was amazing, I love you.» and he's already deadly asleep. But if you need something he'd make sure to take care of your problems before falling finally asleep.

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