#like i want this Bad Thing that has happened to exacerbate all of his worst qualities

[wyrmwright]

bro he does NOT want to hear you practice your villain monologue

[blacklegsanjiii]

MAN!!!! I love how you expanded on it . Sanji not knowing how to take care of his own body by himself makes it even worse I think… it exacerbates a lot of things for the other siblings. I feel they’d kind of just meld into a generally codependent blob, because they get used to doing absolutely everything together to make sure Sanji is doing all the same things with them. Easier than keeping track of who’s told him to do what, is how they rationalize it, but really they just left Germa and none of them want to be the sibling that imposes a strict daily schedule he can’t depart from unless in case of emergency. It just feels Bad. They’re not doing it. They’ll do things like sleep together in a pile, because it’s “easier”, and try to conveniently ignore all night that laying with their brother is uncomfortable because his skin is hard and he has no body heat and he doesn’t care for his own comfort at all so he lays strangely unless they maneuver him.

I feel like that hits Niji the worst too, because he just cares a whole fucking lot (I like taking the fact he was the only person who showed concern and spoke up for Reiju in WCI and running with it in contexts where he has a full range of emotions). All of them are vaguely aware that what they’re doing isn’t healthy but they also weren’t raised with the emotional intelligence to do anything about it either, Niji is just Extra Aware and it eats him up inside. Sanji being a husk also eats him up inside particularly badly, but that’s something he can’t even begin to do anything about so he tries not worrying about it. I feel like him and Ichiji argue the most between the five , one thinking much more emotionally and the other thinking more coldly/logically.

And all of them being taken in by the strawhats is so lovely… they get to experience family outside of abuse and strain and constant tension. When Judge eventually hunts them down and the strawhats beat him and Germa handily, they’re just all puddles of relief that can finally fully work towards bettering their relationships because now they know for sure they’re never going back to how things used to be. Bonus points for Sanji continuing to protect his siblings over any new orders Judge tries to give him to get them back .

- Wine

100% They are a codependent blob. They most likely have been since before they left Germa, always trying to take care of Sanji while there, but after the escape it's only ever gotten so much worse. They can't set a set schedule just because life on the seas doesn't exactly allow for that. So they just do whatever they can when they can, they always make sure at least one person is with Sanji though. Even the thought of just a set schedule like in Germa makes them feel remarkably ill. The sleep pile is so true too, they have to maneuver Sanji to make sure everyone is comfortable while they sleep. Sanji is just so cold and hard that his siblings are at a loss of how to make him soft, make him warm.

Niji is the best choice for most emotion outside of Reiju. Of course they all know it's not healthy, they all get anxious about separation and if one of them(Sanji) is gone too long they go looking to see what happened. Niji has to be losing his mind half the time about how fucked up they are. He knows why, he understands it, but fuck he doesn't know how to fix it. It's just constantly nagging him, it also destroys him how Sanji was the only to have this happen to him. How they were all deemed failures in their own way and Sanji can just fucking disappear when he wants to. He just never wants to. He never wants anything, he only listens to them. He and Ichiji fight a lot about how to teach him emotions but it's not inherent, not like it was for them and emotional intelligence is one thing but having someone learn to have emotions is another.

When they join the Strawhat Pirates officially is weird and insane to them. Robin acts motherly to them while Brook plays a more grandfatherly role and Franky and Jinbei offer different perspectives of being paternal figures, ones who care and support them. Luffy is everyone's brother and probably the most determined outside of them to help teach Sanji emotions and his straightforward way of thinking and dealing with emotions might be useful to them. The crew adores them and they adore them back. They're getting better, slowly but surely they learn to trust others with Sanji and calm Chopper down when Sanji rearranges his out of place body, even teach him how to draw Sanji's blood and such when he needs it. When Judge comes back for them?

They certainly didn't think their found family would fight for them, nor did they think Sanji would defy direct orders from Judge. He just stares and stands in front of them as Judge yells at him to stand down, to bring his siblings and come back. Maybe it's the first flashes of emotions Sanji has. The fight is long and arduous thanks to the clone army Judge has, the enhancements made to them. Maybe Germa is destroyed but they have definitely lost and everyone is relieved. Everyone is so relieved Sanji didn't listen to Judge but also so thankful because that went against his programming which makes his siblings cheer and hold him. It's wild to them that Sanji is learning things that go against his programming because it's taken so long, but they're so thankful as well. It's what their mother would have wanted after all.

[azulas-lightning-bolt]

guys I just want you to know that azula is my fav atla character (right above katara/toph/suki can you tell I like girls) but I’m actually going insane about mako right now.

also for the like,, five people who liked my last mako post please please please go look at @/jade-of-mourning’s blog. they’re so cool. they make such super awesome mako posts and his writing is really good and she also posts some stuff on ao3 so like. yeah. I’m obsessed with them.

anyway back to losing my mind over mako,, (a LOT more under the cut)

so okay I’ll admit I’m not typically a fan of angsty male characters (zuko is the exception. he’s too funny to not, and his character and development are really well done) because they all feel like copy-pastes of each other and they’re generally uninteresting.

but mako. mako is the female experience. not sure if I reposted it (as I tend to do with,, everything on here) but I saw a post talking about how what happened to mako’s character (all potential being discarded after romantic plot) is what happens to the vast majority of female characters. and as I’ve probably said at least fifty million times, he’s SO eldest daughter coded. I’m trans (they/he) but I grew up an eldest daughter and he’s like?? literally me??

as I was yapping about in a reblog—I just checked (lol) and it was in fact the post about mako having the female love interest treatment and tags about his eldest daughter syndrome—mako is somewhat made more ‘relatable’ than katara even when sending a similar message for the general audience. I think people should just be less brickheaded and appreciate my wonderful waterbending girl but mako being a guy makes people not immediately put his character into the lens of ‘ugh, dumb feminism’. (which, again, should not happen)

okay so why does this redeem him so much? I said I hate copy-paste angsty backstories meant to exacerbate a character’s edgy mysteriousness and mako is literally batman with a more violent aang for a little brother. he was basically the messiest character on the show, cheated on both his gfs with each other and fucked them up so bad they turned gay for each other (which was funny as hell of the writers by the way. his reaction to them coming out in the comics was GOLD. ik my boy was fighting back tears.) so, logically, I should hate him like 90% of the fandom, right?

well obviously 90% of the fandom HAS NOT WATCHED THE FUCKING SHOW is MISOGYNISTIC or HATES CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

I have. so much to say about this.

for one. did we watch the same show. mako is one of the most selfless, hardworking, and considerate characters, which he shows multiple times—it’s a major point of his character, actually. he’s the protector, the nurturer (*cough* the eldest daughter). down to his backstory, he shielded bolin from the worst bits of the underworld as best he could while still providing. from eight years old, all alone, he provided. that’s honestly what sets mako apart from literally being Batman (lmao) and why I don’t actually mind his backstory. he was put in an impossible situation, and told to figure it out. he was given no reprieve from the extremely traumatic event of watching his parents die by the element he wields, the one that he has to learn on his own to use to protect bolin.

the other thing is that a lot of his actions are selfish in a way. he doesn’t really care much about the street rats in the same position he was once in the beginning. but even that selfishness isn’t in his own interest—it’s selfishness for the sake of bolin’s well being. one thing that really hits me hard is the brothers’ relationships with food while on the streets. I’m going to make another post about that soon because I don’t want to ramble too endlessly on here. it’s really personal because. eldest daughter who grew up poor. yeah.

second, fandom misogyny. this makes like. no sense but I swear I know what I’m talking about. okay so misogyny is about gender right? but let’s step away from the cutout copy idea of gender, like genitals or fem/masc presentation or pronouns. think of gender as a set of inherent preconceptions, ideals, or societal expectations. that’s what it is but specifying that makes more sense. mako is a dude who is referred to with he/him and he looks like a guy but he represents a girl. mako is expected to be nurturing but not overbearing. present but not annoying. a provider, but don’t ask for anything in return. mako can’t cry in front of bolin, it’s not right for a little boy to look up to someone fragile. mako needs to work, but tiredness is not allowed. don’t be overly cheerful, it’s annoying and unfitting, but too much gruffness is just haughty.

did you feel like you were reading the transcript for that scene about how hard it is to be a woman in the barbie movie? good, because that was the intention. mako, to me, represents the idea of a sibling who is forced to also be a parent, whether or not they are the eldest, and often a girl to a boy. it could be because parents are absent or dead or bad at parenting or just foolish and inattentive. mako is hated (aside from that messy ass romance plot) for almost all the same reasons as katara and that just. infuriates me. like I have this one perfect representation that reminds me of my own background (sorry katara ily and you represent my rage) while aligning with my identity and everyone is shitting on it?? fuck mako haters he’s my special boy

last point. have you never heard of character development in your lives. did you not all love Zuko’s redemption arc, and then as soon as a dumb teenager who’s never had romantic relationships fucks up JUST AS BAD AS THE OTHER TWO PEOPLE INVOLVED (sorry korrasami ily but y’all were nasty for not asking to kiss mako) you’re all like ‘unforgivable’?? like he didn’t even have a redemption arc because HE WASNT AN EVIL CHARACTER. he was a poor kid looking for a sense of stability and he fucked up. he felt bad. I don’t think any of them apologized, despite the fact one was needed all around. he grew as a character because he let himself find stability and mature before seeking someone new to use as a life raft who was already sinking themselves. I truly believe that korrasami—had it not occurred at the end of the series—wouldn’t have worked out either.

all of them were unstable and lost and scared for their lives almost constantly. that’s not a healthy place to be in to seek a relationship and they none of them were good for each other until they gave themselves time to step away from romance and heal.

anyway stan mako to not be a bigot (im unwell about him)

[itsclydebitches]

I’ve recently joined the Twitter RWBY fandom(a horrible choice, really) and a lot of them hold this regard that Ironwood being a Military Man aswell as Atlas Academy being a pipeline to the Military being foreshadowing and, I can’t really understand that? No where in the show is any of that implied as bad. I was thinking about it a little bit and came to the inclusion that despite Remnant’s worldbuilding calling for a positive outlook on the military, because this is an American anime mostly 1/2

I've thought the same for awhile now, anon. RWBY, for all its many pitfalls, is trying to be a progressive show and that includes taking a hard, critical stance against military might—an argument that, yes, is very much born of America's history. I'm not going to turn this ask into a history lesson (one I'm by no means an expert on anyway), but suffice to say there's indeed a lot to criticize and thus it's no surprise that the queer friendly, unity-focused, American show about an individual "simple soul" would want to paint militarism in a negative light.

Personally, I've got no problem with that thesis. That's actually a show that I would love to watch. Thus, the problem is not RWBY taking a hard stance against a fictional military, it's—as you say—its failure to convey why Remnant's military is worthy of criticism. The work is simply not there. I could write you a novel-length meta on all the ways RWBY dropped the ball in that regard, starting with the world building question of, "Why is a military seen as oppressive when they exist to fight souless monsters instead of other people?" through "Not a single detail in RWBY implies that people are coerced, manipulated, or left behind once they align themselves with the military," circling around, "You spent six Volumes writing Ironwood as a flawed hero, gave us a few episodes as a misguided antagonist, and then a few hours in-world as a villain," straight on through to, "The group coming upon Atlas' battleships is meant to exist as a stand-alone argument of evilness—look at what Ironwood has done in the name of safety!—which is a problem all on its own, but the same image of battleships hovering over Vacuo is meant to exist as a stand-alone argument of celebratory unity and do you see how that doesn't work?"

RWBY wanted to write an anti-military story. They did not write an anti-military story until Volume 8, by which time it was WAY too late to undermine all the positive implications and unanswered questions we'd gotten. However, many viewers—particularly American viewers—picked up on those not-so-subtle hints (hi there, cartoon Ironwood) and ran backwards with the argument, ignoring everything that didn't support it in previous Volumes, or, in a few extreme cases, outright lying about what happened in the show until portions of the fandom heard it often enough that they started misremembering things. Then they passed those simplistic, inaccurate readings on, all of which is exacerbated by many viewers' real feelings towards the military and the knee-jerk assumptions they have if others appear to be promoting it. Even if "promoting it" just means saying something like, "This fictional character in this radically different fantasy world maybe isn't pure evil because the show forgot to establish why creating the means to destroy the literal non-metaphorical monsters is a bad thing."

Which is why it's so difficult to discuss RWBY's failure in this regard because the fan at the other end of the conversation has to acknowledge the nuance of, "Yes, I personally agree with this thesis, but it's a thesis that doesn't exist in RWBY. I'm not arguing that dictators are good, actually, I'm arguing that Ironwood never was one." The moment you talk about anything related to Atlas, Ironwood, their military, etc. and by extension start discussing the ways in which the show canonically wrote those all these as positives in Volumes 1-7, or at the worst flawed necessities, many fans simply jump to, "Oh, so you're okay with Ironwood shooting minorities? Got it." Most in RWDE (that I've come across, anyway) are discussing the depiction of the military within the show—what actually wound up on screen, regardless of the writers' intentions and regardless of our own, irl politics. In contrast, most non-RWDE fans are discussing what the military is meant to represent irl, despite the fact that this representation fails on nearly every level and, as a result, doesn't really exist. That's a huge disconnect that I doubt the fandom will ever get past, especially when these subjects hit close to home for so many and, frankly, it's far easier to toss out accusations that imply a real-life failing than it is to acknowledge that a favorite show is not only badly written, but thoroughly bungled a subject you deeply care about. (Insert the same problem with RWBY's queer rep here.)

[heliads]

Could you do a Wyatt Lykensen x reader (human…witch😉) there relationship started to blossom in zombies 2 when they got paired together for a history project. (Have not seen zombies 3 yet, I need to) The reader is friends with Addison but not on the cheer squad , but in chess club. The typical smart, wallflower friend. (Wyatt is so cool!)

wyatt IS so cool, anon, i could not agree more. also pls see zombies 3 it is fascinating and i love it

masterlist

You’re not sure what good you expected to come of the werewolves, but they’re certainly throwing Seabrook into upheaval. The pack barely arrived a few days ago, and already you can tell that nothing will be as it once was.

Your fears could, of course, be more than slightly exacerbated by the fact that the werewolves are making your best friends totally freak out. Zed is certain that their quickly lessening tolerance for proper etiquette will lead to harsher crackdowns on zombies, and although Addison is more wearily accepting of them than her boyfriend, no one can deny that the werewolves are as suspicious as they come.

You, for one, are used to all manner of suspicious things. Suspicious happens when you’re best friends with the zombies even before Seabrook lowered its restrictions on monsters, when your best friend, Addison, has a shock of white hair that she can’t explain, and also when you happen to be a witch.

It has been fairly easy to be a witch in this town, all things considered. You’re able to pass as a normal human so long as you aren’t obvious with your spells, and by the time you revealed yourself, everyone was so accepting of zombies that they just shrugged and admitted you along with them. Now, the worst you have to fear is someone begging you for a love potion the night before the school dance.

Still, so long as there is tension within Seabrook, you’ll never be totally at ease. You don’t need Zed’s whispering to tell that there’s definitely something up with the werewolves. Although they claim that they’re only here to go to school, they’ve been eyeing Addison’s hair with enough fervor to make anyone doubt them. The only question now is when they’ll strike, and how bad the aftermath will be.

For now, though, they seem content with doing their best to blend in. It feels like everywhere you look, you see a werewolf or two trying to make their way in the complex world of Seabrook High social politics, or that could just be due to the fact that one of them is approaching you right now.

You’ve been on the receiving end of a fair share of werewolf attention ever since the pack arrived. They’ve been all over you in not so discreet questions about your spells, what they can be used for and how good you are at locating other sources of magic.

Of all of the werewolves, however, you think that Wyatt Lykensen has been the most persistent. You’ve seen him hanging around a couple of times now, pretending to be reading a book or doing homework, but whenever you glance away, he goes back to his chief task:  watching you.

It doesn’t feel malicious, his sudden attention, more like he’s trying to get a read on you. No one quite knows how to deal with a witch, seeing as there’s only ever been one of you, but you get the feeling Wyatt is angling for something a little more. You can’t help the guess that the werewolves want your help, but whether they’ll actually ask for it, that remains to be seen.

Today, however, just might be that day. Wyatt slides into a seat at the other side of the library table, propping his elbows up on the smooth surface.

He says nothing at first, and you arch a brow at him. “Good morning,” you say pointedly, and he has the decency to look chagrined.

“Good morning indeed,” Wyatt comments all too casually, “How was your weekend?”

You shrug absentmindedly, attention less on Wyatt and more on the chessboard in front of you. Although Addison may be one of your best friends, you’re far less destined for the cheerleading squad than she is. Instead, you’re a dedicated member of the Seabrook chess team, even when that means you have to study up outside of meetings to make sure you can keep your winning streak.

“Not bad,” you mumble, staring daggers at a rook that refuses to act as you’d like it, “Did some witchy stuff, you know, the usual.”

Wyatt seems intrigued by this. “Witchy stuff? Like the talismans in front of you?”

You snap out of your chess-induced haze long enough to glance at him in confusion, then realize what he’s referring to. “These aren’t talismans,” you laugh, “these are chess pieces. You know, like the game? I’m trying to practice.”

Wyatt frowns. “We don’t play a lot of chess in our pack.”

“Yeah, I think I got that,” you remark, although Wyatt looks faintly hurt so you add on: “It’s a fun game, you should try it some time.”

He grins at you, fangs flashing in the fluorescent lighting. “Maybe you should teach me.”

“Maybe you should find a more effective way of stalking me,” you counter, “or otherwise do a better job of acting like you actually want to learn the game instead of figuring out if I can use my magic to help your pack.”

Wyatt leans back against his chair, groaning. “You always assume the worst of us.”

You give him a look. “And am I wrong?”

“No,” he says a little too quickly, “but you never know. One of these days, we might surprise you.”

The bell rings overhead, releasing you to class. You stand up and start to gather your things.

“I’ll be sure to tell you when that happens,” you say coolly, and walk past Wyatt to head to your next period. Despite this obvious dismissal, however, his grin only seems to broaden.

After that, you and your pride have to head to math, which diminishes both. Your class after that is history, though, and that usually picks up your spirits at least a little bit. Or, it does, until you walk in the room and your normally fantastic teacher announces that you’ll be doing a partner project, and it’ll be his choice for the partners.

There is a special place in hell saved for the person who keeps putting partner projects in school curriculums. No one learns a single thing except that you can never trust anyone to do the work except yourself. A partner project just signals that you’re about to waste far too many hours of your time, and who could ever spare the energy for that?

Your foul mood is only worsened when your partner is announced to be Wyatt. He slides into a seat next to you so you can work, and you glare at his broad smile.

“Did you do this?” You ask, gesturing vaguely between the two of you.

“Do what?” Wyatt asks innocently. Across the room, the history teacher flashes him a not-so-subtle thumbs up, and you arch a brow.

“Alright,” he admits, “maybe I recommended that I work with a good friend of mine so I wouldn’t have any difficulties in finding a partner.”

You give him an incredulous stare. “And we’re such good friends that your excuse would work?”

Wyatt chuckles. “Of course we are. Now, what do you want to do for the project? We should really get started soon, you know.”

You bite back a few choice words. “I couldn’t agree more. How about you pick the topic, Wyatt? You seem to have so much sway over everything else, I would hate to disappoint you of another chance to trap me in something.”

He laughs. “Well, with that outstanding vote of confidence, I would never pass up the chance to decide. We’re supposed to be doing a project on the lasting impacts of ancient Indian culture, right? How about we do it on chess?”

At your baffled look, Wyatt elaborates. “Chess came from an Indian game called chaturanga. Most intelligence dates it as originating from around the sixth century, which is well within the time limit of the project. I figure you know enough about the game that you could help us coast on your expertise.”

You nod slowly. “At this point, I think you have more expertise than I do. How did you know that? I thought you had no idea what chess was.”

Wyatt lifts a shoulder. “I might have Googled a few things after this morning. Figured it couldn’t hurt.”

You stare at him a second longer, then break out into quiet laughter. “I’m almost impressed,” you say, and Wyatt smiles back at you.

“And I’m almost sure that was a compliment. So, does that mean we have a truce? Can we be friends?”

You shake his offered hand before you can second guess yourself. “Sounds good to me.”

As it turns out, being friends with Wyatt is quite good indeed. Usually, you’re quite content to stick to your own devices, preferring quiet meetings with your chess club or couple of best friends to larger gatherings, but Wyatt makes you feel far more daring than you ever have.

At first, Zed is incredibly suspicious of Wyatt’s sudden kindness to you, but as time goes on and you get to know the pack a little better, you’re able to assuage his worries yourself. Willa may have plans for her wolves, but Wyatt hangs out with you for the sole pleasure of your company. You don’t think you’ve ever seen someone enjoy the sound of your laugh so much.

Besides, Wyatt might be the sole exception to your rule about hating partner projects. Not only does he do an equal amount of work, he seems to spend just about as much time studying your smile so as to commit it to memory. He trades cited sources with inside jokes, properly formatted paragraphs with comments that make you have to clap a hand over your mouth so you don’t burst out laughing in the middle of class.

Even after the project ends, you continue to spend your free time with Wyatt. You can’t help it, it’s just so easy to talk to him that you forget that you could have ever worried about his ulterior motives. Although Wyatt certainly puts in the hours towards attempting to master chess, he has yet to beat you in a game. That only makes him want to try even harder, though.

In the end, you’re happy with him, and that’s the simple truth. It takes some time for you to realize that you don’t just want his friendship but something more, and after that, Wyatt comes to about the same conclusion.

About a week or so after the project ends, you find him waiting for you by your locker after school ends, a bouquet of wildflowers in his hands and a very nervous look on his face. Any worries he might have about asking you out, though, are quickly dissipated by your immediate acceptance.

After all, why on earth would you have reason to turn him down? Wyatt makes you feel like no one else. Even using your magic doesn’t leave you with a rush like this. At the end of the day, you can look to him in times of deepest trouble, and that is more than enough to leave you happy.

disney tag list: @rogueanschel, @lovesanimals0000, @thatfangirl42, @amortensie

[clunelover]

Jeremy and I are in one of the weightiest debates we have ever had. He wants to send E on a plane by themself to visit his mom in Ithaca this summer. My position is that his mom’s behavior ranges from slightly odd and passive aggressive, to outright unpleasant (but not…cruel? Like maybe purposefully missing the point to such an extent that it can feel cruel, but I don’t think she’s ever trying to make someone feel bad? I mean I guess passive aggressive behavior is supposed to make people feel bad, but I mean she doesn’t go out of her way to poke at someone’s insecurity in order to punish them, which is something that sets her apart from my mom) and I’m not comfortable just sending them to deal with that alone, and even though it will probably be fine, and I think even crappy parents can be adequate grandparents, but that I don’t know why there’s any rush to have them, at 10, take their first solo flight AND their first more than one consecutive night at someone else’s house AND first time spending more than a few hours 1:1 with grandma, all in the same visit? And I would prefer a compromise where Jeremy goes with and then stays somewhere separate and just works from hotel and pretends like he’s not there, but he is there just in case. Which he thinks is dumb and defeats the purpose (in which the purpose is for them to be able to bond, because living so far apart means visits are rare, and when she visits us here it’s hard to get enough 1:1 time without parent interference, and she has health issues that can be exacerbated by travel so then she also needs to spend a bunch of time napping when she comes here, and if parents are around kids naturally gravitate toward them/defer to them, and I do agree with all of this, and even admit that it’s worthwhile for the kids to have a relationship with this grandma), and a waste of money that, even though we can afford it, hurts to spend on something he considers unnecessary.

And it’s complicated, because I really dislike his mom, but a lot of that is because of how much she triggers my own mom shit. And I don’t mean that as in, everyone else gets along with her fine - every adult I know who has met her has not enjoyed the experience, but would be better able to just laugh off some of her comments as "ha what a weird thing to say!" Whereas for me they trigger fight or flight.

And relationships with grandparents are different than parents…and E is a well adjusted kid…so like for instance, last time grandma visited she brought a ton of little knickknacks and old toys for the kids (clearly cleaning out a storage unit or something), and E was enthusiastic and said a blanket "thank you" for the lot, plus other genuine noises of excitement about the specific items. Then later, grandma asks, "do you like [some specific knickknack]?" And E says "yeah!" Grandma says, "oh, I didn’t know because you didn’t say thank you." E, unbothered: "I did say thank you!"

So like…that just rolled off E. They know they said thank you, and if grandma didn’t remember, well she’s old. Whereas if that happened to me (and in fact it has - I didn’t make enough noise about a book of poetry she gave me once, and she said if I didn’t really want it, she’d just as soon keep it for herself!) my brain goes "a mom figure has unrealistic expectations of you! And you can behave in accordance with etiquette but still get it wrong somehow! Danger! Danger!"

So really, that kind of stupid passive aggressive stuff is probably the worst thing that will happen? But what if it’s not?!? Idk I hate this.

E’s therapist in my 1:1 session yesterday said "I understand your concerns and I’d have the same ones. But that’s not to say you shouldn’t do it. But I love your compromise idea!"

So Jeremy agreed to compromise but still isn’t happy about it, and he talked to his therapist today and says that he wants to discuss more with me (not to change my mind, just to try to understand each other better, which I’m sure is good, understanding is generally seen as a positive thing, but my knee jerk thought is that it sounds like a trap).

I’ll talk to my therapist about it tomorrow, too. So at least we’ll have as many therapists on the issue as possible!

[gunsli-01]

Why I'm not worried about a Mu Innocent verdict and other people shouldn't worry either-

Lol, if she's voted Innocent her chances of living to see trial three drastically decrease. So, like with a bomb I'm either right or it's suddenly not my problem anymore-

TL;DR- Yuno's probably gonna kill Mu if she's voted innocent again anyway. Because she's made it clear that the one thing she hates is being bothered and lectured to. Two things Mu keeps doing to her specifically. Validating Mu again will only exacerbate that issue. Personally, I think the worst thing anyone in Milgram can do is get on Yuno's bad side. Something Haruka and Mu have already done.

Q.11 Which of the other prisoners do you get along with least?

Yuno: I wonder... The ones that are painful just to watch are Haruka and Mu-chan.

At this point I find the prospect of people working towards getting Mu an innocent verdict just for her to get worse and be killed by another innocent prisoner funny as hell. Like in a what goes around comes around sort of way.

Yuno has all the tools at her disposal to do whatever she wants and no qualms with killing if she feels it was necessary. An Innocent/Guilty verdict does not and has never been alluded to securing anyone's personal safety. Hell, even voting Kotoko guilty this trial doesn't guarantee her attacks will stop just that it will be known we don't agree with her actions.

Our votes are only meant to reflect if we agree with the prisoner's actions or not. Affirming or denying their view; what they do with that information after the fact is totally up to the character. So, no one is voting Mu Innocent to keep her or Haruka safe and if they are well pfft. I mean cute you believe that's how this works but um it's probably not.

So, at the end of the day they're just supporting what she's done. That's all the verdict has ever reflected the collective fandom and its beliefs. What it is willing to let slide or finds irredeemable. People understood this when they were politicizing Yuno's second trial and framed voting her innocent or guilty as either being pro or anti-abortion.

It's not like this is some new revelations it was pretty much confirmed through the outcome of the first trial. Which had the opposite effect of everything the fan base wanted to happen. Kotoko instead of making a deal with Es and working under them began to act on her own. Using Es' or our name to justify and claim the right to a position of authority within Milgram and attacked three people. This caused a lot of relationships in Milgram to deteriorate.

Amane firmly stood by the fact that she did nothing wrong and no one could tell her she did.

Since she and Futa were voted Guilty together she expressed this belief to him.

22/04/19 (Futa’s Birthday)x

Futa: Ahh…… I’m not wrong…… I wasn’t doing anything wrong…… Shut up, why are you going on an on about something so minor……It has nothing to do with you…… Aaahhh……

Futa: ……! O-oh, it’s just you. It’s nothing. But well, on that note. Hey. Don’t you have anything happening too? Since being in here, just suddenly getting anxious. Feeling as though loads of people are all there condemning you, telling you you were wrong.

Amane: Oh, were you talking to yourself, Futa-san?

Or maybe there’s something there you’re able to see?

Amane: ……I’m fine. I don’t know what you’ve done or what it is you’re worried about, but I think if there’s something you believe in, you should stay true to it. It’s not something that should waver just because other people said something. I personally don’t plan on changing my own beliefs even if I’m told I’m wrong either. Today is your birthday, correct? I’ll pray for God to keep you under his care.

Causing him to hold his own opinion in higher regard.

The other Mikoto took over because of the amount of mental stress being put on Mikoto and the fact that he is actively a defense mechanism. So, our judgement is solely responsible for his continued presence. Acting like it isn't at this point is just delusional because the guy even warned us about it.

The fact that some people still assume they have power here is fucking amazing like learn to read a room~ We just work here.

Then with Mu there's the whole matter of her deteriorating relationship with Yuno

20/06/04

Yuno: Huh, so you go to that high school. So, you are from a rich family then~! I mean, you already gave off that vibe though. What year are you in?

Mu: First year…… Kashiki… san…… you’re older than me, right?

Yuno: Yeah, I’m in third year but you can just call me Yuno. I don’t really like the stuffy formalities. It doesn’t really matter who’s older and who’s younger. If you squint, we’re basically the same age anyway.

Mu: ……fufu, what’s with that? But ok…… I’ll call you Yuno from now on.

She even calls her Mu-chan when she speaks about her in her second Interrogation despite saying here she doesn't care for such stuffy formalities and to my knowledge not using kun to refer to Haruka. She begins to start referring to her as chan directly after she was voted Innocent in the first trial and her true personality began to reemerge.

21/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday)

Mu: Yuno. Don’t you have something to say to me?

Yuno: Huh? To you? Me? ……ahh, uh? Your birthday, right? Happy birthday~

Mu: How mean…Since it’s my birthday, I really wish you’d said something before I had to come and tell you myself.

Yuno: Right, right, I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful in future~ Later! Haha… things have become even more of a bother. So, was that Mu-chan’s real personality, then? It’s probably because the guard did something, right?

21/09/02  (Yuno’s Birthday)

Haruka: Y-Yuno-san.Good morning! T-today’s your birthday, right……? Ha-happy birthday……!!

Yuno: Oooh…… Thanks? You’ve definitely changed a bit huh, Haruka. You speak a little louder now, and actually look people in the eyes when you talk.

Haruka: Eh, ah, i-is that so…… I wasn’t, aware of it myself, but…… Heh, hehe. Is that so.

Yuno: Ding ding! My sensor is telling me…… this is probably a girl’s influence. Well, everyone here is slowly changing, I guess. Even me.

22/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday)

Mu: Hey~~~ Isn’t everyone a bit gloomy lately? I get that this situation isn’t ideal, but you’re really bringing down the mood for my birthday.

Yuno: Haha, surely even you can tell now’s not really the time for something like that right. Nobody’s really in the mood, or rather nobody has time to deal with something like that.

Mu: Boo, how boring. You seem to be free, you can celebrate for me. Go on, celebrate.

Yuno: Wow, what a pain. I’m reading the atmosphere properly and keeping quiet. Well, you just go and have fun with Haruka. In the corner somewhere. So, you’re out of everyone’s way.

In Trial one and Two Yuno answered some questions that should be alarming and telling for Mu's chances of survival when it comes to dealing with her.

Q.11 Do you think things exist that can’t be bought with money?

Yuno: There’s loads, right? Stuff like a person’s character.

Q.16 Do you have anyone you hate?

Yuno: People who like to lecture you. ("How mean…Since it’s my birthday, I really wish you’d said something before I had to come and tell you myself." "Right, right.") (Really not helped by the fact that Mu's entire trial two song is a lecture on what will happen to a person if they don't listen to her.)

Q.21  Do you have someone you like?

Yuno: Other than the people I specifically dislike, I like everyone.

Trial 2 Interrogation

Q.09 What do you think about Kotoko’s attacks?

Yuno: Is she an idiot? Nothing’s going to change in the world if you just act out violently where everyone can see.

The fact that her issue isn't the violence but doing it somewhere everyone can see to me implies if Mu suddenly mysteriously dies it was probably Yuno. it wouldn't be difficult to get Mu alone either since she keeps approaching Yuno by herself anyway. So, Haruka wouldn't be able to protect her and no one outside of Haruka would want to.

Yuno basically said if you wanted them dead you shouldn't have done it in a place where anyone could intervene. All that leads me to believe the chances of Yuno ending Mu's life during the next intermission if she's voted Innocent is super high. Which makes either outcome super enticing...So, as always vote however you want. How it turns out is far out of our control anyhow.

[imakemywings]

This week’s obsession is Feanor’s adolescence.

Timeline thoughts: Miriel died when Feanor was young but I’m tempted to say not so young that he has no memories of her...if he was the Elf equivalent of 3 or 4, he might still have some hazy recollections of her that I think would likely exacerbate his sense of loss. Assuming then that Finwe takes a few years to process this and decide to remarry, I can see Feanor as potentially 11-13 when Indis comes into the picture which means he contended with his father’s remarriage and the birth of his half-siblings and puberty at the same time, which is just a fun terrible time for everyone.

Content thoughts: And just like...obviously Finwe loves the hell out of this kid, but I also tend to think Finwe doesn’t really get him. So he can try his damnedest and still not be able to get through to Feanor that no one is trying to replace him. And even at such times as he might convince him of that, something else will happen later and Feanor will leap back to his original concern and the cycle starts over again. Indis, of course, is the unfortunate focal point around which all of Feanor’s anger about everything that’s happened coalesces, so nothing she can say, no matter how kindly she might try, is ever going to make him feel better about anything and he will always assume the worst of her intentions (also, yk, she does get mad sometimes, because it would only be natural, that Feanor keeps making her and her kids’ lives so unnecessarily difficult, and that he picks up on very well).

Feanor is somebody with big feelings, and I tend to think Finwe and Indis are much calmer, mellower people in general, which means they are not well-equipped to try to help Feanor learn to manage those feelings, and especially not when he’s dealing with the ongoing trauma of losing his mother and his father’s remarriage. They don’t understand why he acts the way he does, although even they can see I’m sure that a great deal of his anger stems from pain, but they don’t know how to calm him down or get through to him.

This is how he ends up screaming at Indis and her kids or saying terrible things to people or breaking shit and then turning around and spending the next hour sobbing in his bedroom because he is convinced they all wish he had died with Miriel. There is possibly also reluctance on his part to really explain his feelings to Finwe, which of course makes it harder to try to help him with them and also makes Finwe underestimate how upset Feanor really is.

(He also has a habit of deeply romanticizing the period between Miriel’s death and Finwe’s remarriage as the time when it was just him and Finwe doing Royal Family Things together. It was a time of intense grief for both of them and Finwe recalls it that way, particularly as the first Elf in Tirion to lose his life partner, but to Feanor, retrospectively it became a time when his dad’s attention was all on him, and not being shared with Indis and her kids.)

So he ends up in this position of really wanting to be part of a family, but also continually assuming his family doesn’t actually want him around (which is not true) and consequently blowing way out of proportion (from the family’s perspective) things that happen that even suggest any of his concerns might be valid (which he’s constantly looking for). It just ends up being this whole mixed bag of a bunch of people with no bad intentions, but a lot of misunderstandings and mismatched emotional needs and messy feelings and it results in a difficult time for everyone.

Therefore, he clings especially tightly to his role as the crown prince and to Miriel’s legacy, and his insistence on her not being forgotten is both to honor her and because he loved her, but also because if Miriel is forgotten, what does that say about his own position? Suddenly more precarious, isn’t it?

That said, I think there were times Feanor was a fun big brother. He was, of course, always curious and testing things and inventing things, so when he was in a good mood, Findis and Fingolfin could convince him to show them what he was working on and sometimes to help him test things, and they really liked hanging out with him then--they just did not understand why he was so angry with them the rest of the time (because of course they were too young to understand, and I don’t know that the concept of death in general would have registered with a couple of Elf kids who had never seen or heard of anyone but Miriel dying before). So to them he was just incredibly unpredictable in temperament which was difficult for them because they never knew what to expect if they approached him.

Now he mellowed out some with adulthood until Melkor showed up, as most of us do, and I think settling into smithing and jewel-crafting and academics helped him feel he had a place where he belonged and that calmed him down a bit, and his friendship and later romance with Nerdanel made him feel that he had someone in his life who both understood him on an intimate level and also was pretty much by default on his side. But his teenager years did set the tone for his relationship with Indis and her kids and did shift his relationship with Finwe and left him with this underlying fear of someday being replaced by the people he cares about.

[thelittlepalmtree]

So you're all against prison until The person does something you don't like? Like, Prison is bad, The justice system is too much Until it's someone I wanna be mad at...?

Because, Honestly, Genuinely, Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher did the right thing. I get that Danny Masterson had already done something horrible. But the crime has already been committed, The conviction already happened. He's going to jail. It is okay for people to say, That he's still a human being, And the judge should take that into account. Because if you feel like criminals should be completely dehumanized, Then that's just genocide babes.

The truth is that terrible people are still people. And even the worst person on earth, Is still a person. When you dehumanize someone for their actions, You allow oppressive systems to continue. Oppression thrives on dehumanization. The existence of a criminal class, Allows people to be sorted into that class and removed completely from society.

And if you're sitting here like "I hate jail Because most of the people in jail are in there because of drugs". That's just not true. Most of the people in prison have been accused of violent crimes. And this is actually why I feel that there is a place for a truly corrective system. I do think that there are people who in their current state, Cannot safely participate in the larger society. However, Our current system does not correct problems, It exacerbates them.

Every criminal, Whether they are Rich or poor, Nobodies or famous, Regardless of their crime, Deserves to have somebody who advocates for them. As does every victim. And that is not a contradiction. Someone can do something horrible and still be a human being with a human experience. And they have the right to have that experience shared with the judge. A character letter Does not overturn a conviction, Or even really do that much. It's just a reminder that that person is still human and still has connections to the world. It just says hey this person is a person.

Now I'm guessing, That someone on his team leaked the letters, Which is pretty fucking shitty. But do you really think that Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis should have just said no for their reputation? Like obviously, you want them to completely dehumanize Someone because Misery loves company I guess. But if they're going to treat this person that they've known for multiple decades as a human being, You probably wouldn't have known about it unless it got leaked.

A lot of people are saying that like they must believe he's Innocent. Which is fair, Like that totally could be their motivation. But it really doesn't matter. Because even if they think he's stolen cold guilty, They still are not violating Their values of protecting victims by supporting him in this way.

And if you don't understand that, I honestly feel sorry for you. Because it really shows a lack of emotional maturity. And a very black-and-white morality that you will fail at.

[anthonybialy]

No New Ground Broken as Buffalo Bills Repeat Regrettable Stadium Choice

The one thing worse than a rotten decision that affects life for half a century is doubling it.  See: circumstances can still decline.  I was optimistic about pessimism.  A 100 percent commitment isn’t wise if it mars 100 years.  The Buffalo Bills flaunted fake shoveling for a really bad stadium error duplication.  Disregarding a precedent for failure exacerbates madness.  Anyone who’s seen this team find ways to break hearts over time senses similar frustration.

I just wish there could be a metropolis at the county’s center to serve as a hub of commerce and gathering.  It’s not like, oh, vacant housing projects within Buffalo’s city limits that are about to be demolished would be a perfect site for football and renewal.  Why make use of the perfect symbol for progress with practical benefits?

Attendees in the contemporarily bland new coliseum won’t be able to see the city or more importantly spend money in it.  Alleged leaders who keep Buffalo suffering by rhyming previous miscues wonder how to fix the city’s ailments.  It’s a real mystery.

We may as well bring back avocado appliances while we’re at it. A suburban athletic base embodies the worst of ‘60s and ‘70s planning, namely undertaking massive ventures in the suburbs to follow residents fleeing there.  Fight fire with napalm.  The baffling response to shifting population hastened the decline of cities while sticking major projects next to homeowners seeking serenity who wanted to avoid exactly the sort of neighbors who moved in next door.  Draining the economy while staying scared of city limits serves as the wrong kind of throwback.

Is making snow angels to celebrate a win a detriment or virtue?  Arguing about whether or not the Bills should play at home under a roof disregards how the greatest virtue would occur between games.  A football game container with a lid could double as a convention center.  The figurative attractive place to gather would also allow for returning the present dull brutalist monstrosity’s location to its true purpose of serving as a traffic circle.  Or, just keep errors in place because it’s easier to drive around them then spend a little effort on fixes.

The title will be ours in no time.  All it takes is winning, and that’s surely the easy part.  Are we talking about football?  Remembering when anything government has ever promised became a glorious reality is as tough as affording new season tickets.

The thorough emptiness of promises is particularly inherent to this jurisdiction.  If Albany was as fantastic at spurring development as advertised, there wouldn’t be nearly as many Josh Allen jersey-wearers residing in a state with Tallahassee as its capital.  They’re the ones with tans and enough sense to flee unfathomable taxation for the purpose of constructing a headquarters for one of the wealthiest humans ever.  Florida’s Bills backers recognize the value of moving out of a regrettable location.

A massive nearby building boom will surely follow this time.  Look for all the development that sprouted up alongside the current team headquarters.  It’s next to the Rex Ryan statue.  Investment would have happened organically with careful planning, which is to say not the state’s kind.

Terry Pegula is a welfare queen.  One of our world’s 400 richest people is not just a billionaire but a multibillionaire.  Ten figures is merely the start of his fortune.  Even amateur economists might suspect someone who can afford sour cream on everything at Mighty Taco would be able to build a field with stands around it.

The tycoon’s curiously enthusiastic defenders point out his net worth isn’t entirely liquid, which is sure helpful of them.  Lickspittles could escort their hero to a bank before helping him learn how to ask for a loan.  His hockey club plays in an arena named after a business established for just such a transaction.

Pegula can’t afford to pay someone to start a GoFundMe, so he resorted to aggressive panhandling enabled by the state.  Preying on fears that the Bills might flee if taxpayers aren’t sufficiently extorted is as shameful as the Sabres extending the record for missing the playoffs.

The same dupes suckered into proclaiming that funds seized on a rich guy’s behalf constitute only a small amount per person are even worse at math than expected.  There may be more than one item on the budget.  In fact, a cursory glance indicates there are countless incursions into markets by prototypical New York politicians who claim they know best despite endless evidence.  But I’m certain they’ll stick to spending limits just like you can buy Super Bowl tickets presuming the Bills will make it.

The team could just build its home on its own.  You can go ahead and anticipate a few sold seats.  And those prices would be far less preposterous thanks to the personal interest in keeping a budget from spiraling.  Watch costs magically drop when you pay your own expenses.  By contrast, the state’s spigot resembles an open bar.  Economic victims endure hangovers without ever enjoying intoxication.

Supporting a business while opposing mandatory handouts shouldn’t be controversial.  Wegmans doesn’t expect its customers to front building costs, yet it somehow has supermarkets in far more convenient locations.  The chance to acquire cannoli dip benefits the area without bilking taxpayers first to fund a refrigerated case.

Growth happens naturally when those who’ll benefit spend their own cash, which is just another amazing thing about free markets.  I know spending on you want gets expensive.  You’ll have to continue buying your own groceries.

This outfit will have to continue explaining why they’re not called the Orchard Park Bills, which doesn’t make sense in multiple ways.  A team named for a Wild West showman is a play on words, which everyone seems to forget.  Meanwhile, the new yet old place keeps its old new name.  A sponsored moniker results from taxpayers simply not forking enough lucre to the poverty-stricken Bills baron.

Copying doubling down of the New Jersey teams is self-evidently foolish.  Plopping another stadium in what license plates tell me is the Garden State was the easy answer that perpetuated tough conditions.  Figuring a way to build over Manhattan’s train yard was apparently too tricky.  Bills fans don’t have to travel under a river to the place responsible for Bon Jovi.  But the stadium exit will remain a rather high number.

An approaching centennial that will commemorate mistakes is most disheartening when there’s a chance to reverse course.  Fans of losing economic teams never ponder why this market remains small.  Repeating maddening decisions that keep limits in place is no way to advance.  The Bills have spent most of their history not learning from previous personnel flubs despite the exception of present success.  They’ve figured how to both get their quarterback and force others to fund their business costs.

Brace for massive ticket price spike on top of coerced funding to keep an open-air venue in a residential area distant from much of the county.  There’s a super fun future otherwise.  The Bills do everything they can to alienate fans from a franchise that’s treated like the basis of a religion.  Churches are supposed to be funded voluntarily.  I wish this team could win as convincingly in the playoffs as they did against taxpayers.  Dirt wasn’t the only thing shoveled.

[extasiswings]

This whole interview situation has been enlightening on the max front. I’m not super involved in fandom and don’t really care to be but I knew that people had issues with him. I just didn’t know what. And tbh I still don’t really know what it is other than he thinks the show queer baits and it reflects in his articles? All that to say was I’m hoping that some of what she said was taken out of context right, because her responses were so gaslighty to the fandom that see buddie as romantic. I’m really hoping that the article was reflecting a bias that the interviewer had and that she wasn’t just straight up saying that people see what they want to see and it’s not really happening lol. Weirdly the article didn’t make me think that buddie wasn’t happening because I agree, they wouldn’t never reveal that prematurely and would 100% lie so that info wouldn’t come out. It was her responses were a bit ✨triggering✨ in the queer experience lol

I think I’ve said everything I need to say about the article itself, but as for why people have issues with him (from my own perspective):

It’s not just that he thinks the show is queerbaiting (it’s not, and wouldn’t be even if they never went canon, that’s not what queerbaiting is) and his articles reflect that. For me, it’s many things. It’s the way he has painted himself as a sort of crusader for queer rep by harassing creators about one particular ship while ignoring the critical mass of queer characters and couples that already exist in canon (yes, representation is important, and I think it’s disingenuous to treat this show the same way we would treat a show with zero rep on that front, both are true). It’s the way he presents himself as if he has a ton of super special insider knowledge and insight to rile up the fandom when he just has teeny tiny crumbs of additional info and is just speculating like all the rest of us, but treats his spec and opinions as fact. It’s the way he is extremely unprofessional and can’t separate himself as a fan from himself as a journalist and has an inability to present material in a way that even pretends to be unbiased. It’s the way he wouldn’t understand longform storytelling if it bit him on the ass and decides that the writing is terrible every time it doesn’t conform to his specific expectations (going back to not being able to separate himself as a fan from as a journalist—acting like if he doesn’t get what as he wants exactly the way he wants it as a fan, then that means it is objectively bad as a critic) and also throws temper tantrums on main about it (this is someone who was smugly annoying for all of 5A about how they were “ignoring Eddie’s trauma” and endgame BT).

And that’s not even touching the other unprofessional behavior. Teasing an interview with Ryan and Oliver alongside Gavin before getting official confirmation, implying that he would love the chance to ask all sorts of ship-related questions, and then throwing a fit stopping just barely short of naming Ryan specifically when he was ghosted by PR. Hyping his post-mortem with Tim for 5x10 and flat out basically saying “I can’t wait to ask him about all the ways I think this season sucks” (in addition to the general backlog of tweets that are not opinions you should have on your professional sm account), and then being upset when it was canceled. Doing the same thing with Oliver (if that alleged interview was ever actually scheduled at all). Like actually, people aren’t going to sign up to be harassed about your personal grievances when they want to do professional, official promotional work for their show, and if you make clear that’s what you want to do…idk, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Tldr; he feeds fandoms worst impulses, enjoys doing it because of the attention it gives him, and is the worst kind of entitled fan (only exacerbated to new heights because he has the teeniest little platform) and allows that to inform his coverage of the show and interactions with the cast and showrunners. That’s why I don’t like him.

[aggressive-positivity-network]

Do you have any autistic Scout headcanons? :P

Hell yeah!

I’ve actually thought about this a lot. A lot of people might think that Scout has ADHD, but I think he either has both ADHD and autism or just autism.

This is both because labeling Scout as having just ADHD is kind of a low-hanging fruit, and I also want to explore his symptoms a little more. So, in a word, I do, and thank you for asking about them!

*****************

Scout’s Spectrum:

So, where exactly does Scout fall on the autism spectrum?

First of all, he probably has both ADHD and autism, but wasn’t diagnosed with the latter until much later. This means that some of his symptoms were taken into account, but not all.

The ones that were paid attention to ramped up out of control, and the ones he didn’t hear about were stuffed away.

His ADHD symptoms include impulsiveness, need for stimulation, hyperfixations, forgetfulness, and insomnia; his autism symptoms include trouble with social skills, stimming, near inability to remember names and faces, lack of eye contact, hyperfixations again, and sensory processing issues, especially with noise and touch.

He used to have a lot of meltdowns when he was younger, usually about wearing new clothes and the amount of noise his eight brothers generated.

However, he was teased and pushed into masking nearly all the time, and made his whole personality about his ADHD, since that was what everyone accepted.

As he got older, he usually wrote off any autistic tendencies as either his ADHD or just “little habits” of his.

During his middle school years, he used energy drinks to bounce back from being exhausted every day after school. This would work, except those energy drinks would upset his ADHD, and would make it much harder to focus on even basic conversation.

After a while, he got such bad grades and had such a hard time making friends that Scout just stopped going to school altogether.

Baseball helped his focus, and the quick movement and thinking made a lot of sense to him. He never had to wait very long for the next development, and the instant gratification and community it provided supplemented what he never got at school.

With sports on his side, he rarely ever drank any energy drinks (the coach would never let them on the field), and he drank bucketfuls of water during every meet and game. Those teenage years were probably the healthiest he ever was.

However, with the amount of rumbles he got into with his brothers, and the turf wars that constantly raged in those neighborhoods, it was only a matter of time before his crime caught up with him.

After his first incarceration, he was booted from the team, which led to a downward spiral of unhealthy coping mechanisms - which included fighting someone tooth and nail whenever he could.

Even if he lost the fight, it not only catered to his impulsive nature and impatience, but also gave him roughly the same sense of friendship and camaraderie that baseball had.

One thing led to another, and by the time Mann Co. found him, Scout was a monster in hand to hand (and bat to bat) and had racked up quite the criminal record.

A perfect mercenary, ripe for the picking.

On The Team:

Scout very quickly adopted the “stupid, scrappy Boston boy” persona.

It was the only thing that made sense, and it kept him from having to try too hard in both the battlefield and socially.

Besides, that meant that he could be as silly, forgetful, and fidgety as he wanted, and no one would bat an eye.

And if he ever needed to take a break from the team, he figured everyone would appreciate the quiet.

The only thing that ever gave him away was him occasionally dissociating right when battle began, especially if the day had been stressful.

It was usually how he calmed down after a fight when he was young, but now he sometimes slid into that state when he was overwhelmed.

However, a yell from one of his teammates would usually snap him out of it.

Medic noticed this pretty early on, and wanted to look more into it, but Scout would keep making excuses not to get a mental examination.

He would blame it on zoning out, being tired, drinking too many Bonks - whatever it took for people to stop asking.

And, eventually, they did.

Even Medic stopped asking after a while - he couldn’t get a thing out of Scout.

This “try so little that when you do try it’s above average” charade worked for a long time. In fact, it went on for so long that Scout forgot how much he was actually capable of.

He began to internalize the stupidity, the exacerbation, the many comments on how dumb he was, everything.

The only time he ever gave his all was on the battlefield - moving fast, memorizing strategies, doing complicated footwork, knowing exactly how much force it took to crush someone’s skull with his bat.

That was one of the only things that he felt good doing, the only thing he could really work on without him being “found out.”

That and drawing, though he never showed the actual pieces to anyone. It was all stick figures and crooked lines with everyone else.

Sometimes, though, Scout wouldn’t be paying attention and he’d let something slip.

One time, Engineer was looking for his screwdriver, and couldn’t seem to find it anywhere.

Scout, not looking up from his comic, said, “Under the couch cushion, hard hat.”

Engineer bent down and reached into the couch, and his hand came back with his red and yellow striped screwdriver.

“Well I’ll be damned…”

At first Engineer thought Scout had just hid it, but Scout explained, still not paying attention:

“Last time we went out on th’ field, you had it on your belt, like always. But I was walkin’ by your workshop, you were usin’ a quarter to tighten a screw or somethin’. Your screwdriver had to be somewhere between the battlefield and your workshop. Engie, you’re like freakin’ clockwork. Every day, after a fight, you go to the kitchen, get a water, go to that couch, between the second and third cushion from the left, and sit there. Then ya go back to the fridge to get lunch and a beer, and ya go to your workshop until somebody needs you for somethin’. Your back loop in your tool belt is looser than all the others, ‘cause the screwdriver pulls against it when you sit down. The shank was probably in between the two cushions, and when you got up, it fell in. Demo, Pyro, and Heavy all sit on the second or third cushion at some point, so it got shimmied down. And since that’s the only time you sat down, ‘cause you woulda heard it if it dropped on the floor, and I…uh…”

“I’ll be damned,” Engie repeated, and felt the back tool belt loop. It was indeed loose.

Scout finally looked up, and realized what had happened.

“Uh, uh - l-lucky guess, huh Engie?”

Engineer squinted behind his goggles. “Yeah…real lucky…”

What ensued was Engie trying to get Scout to turn into a B.L.U Spy by chasing him around with his wrench. After a few good hits, though, Engineer saw that it was the teammate he knew and loved.

“But…how didja…?”

Scout threw his hand up, the other rubbing the back of his head where he’d been hit.

“I toldja Engie! Lucky guess! Jesus!”

Ever since then, Scout chose his words more carefully.

The Breakdown:

But, unfortunately, Scout could not pretend forever.

There was one week where Scout’s assignment count was so high that, if he wasn’t in a fight, he was on a mission.

Usually, Pauling wouldn’t trust him with so much, but no one else was available - or willing - to do the jobs.

Even when she was getting concerned about the amount of hours Scout was putting in, he blew it off.

“It’s no sweat, Miss Pauling! Their practically givin’ me the pay day. Those yahoos don’t know who they’re messin’ with.”

Over time, though, Scout had a harder and harder time staying focused and alert.

He’d sleep through alarms, stare off into space, zone out completely during briefing (not that he didn’t already do that), have a hard time hearing people in battle - even through his headset - ignore Spy’s taunts, and even forget to bring his bat onto the field.

Nothing seemed to help - Bonk!, warming up, stretching, cold showers, setting reminders, nothing.

And the team was starting to notice.

At first it was with the regular frustration - maybe Scout was just being lazy.

But as time went on, and his condition grew worse, their scorn turned into worry. They implored Medic to do something, but he had no way of getting through to Scout.

The doctor wasn’t above simply sedating him and dragging him into his lab for a check-up. However, he had a feeling that this was more than a physical issue.

The worst came when Scout was doing a routine battle with the B.L.U team on the field.

Everything had started out okay - he even remembered to bring his bad this time - but suddenly, everything was ear-splittingly loud.

He couldn’t focus on more than one sound at once, much less communicate the best course of action to his teammates.

He ended up hiding in a dilapidated shed, in a dusty, dark corner, somewhere between zoning out and panicking.

Scout’s head was in his knees, he was shaking, close to crying, when a sudden splitting of wood roused him.

A B.L.U Soldier had kicked his way into the shed, either having heard Scout or to hide from the other team.

Scout was stunned at first, but something of a blind terror filled him. He picked up his bat, screamed, and started pummeling the surprised Soldier.

At some point, he threw aside his bat and began to swing punch after punch, just like he did in his gang days when he had felt overwhelmed. Still screaming. Still crying.

By the time Scout had dissolved into a rocking, sobbing mess, the Soldier was long dead, with a gigantic pool of blood staining Scout’s shoes.

No one even knew where Scout was until a few hours later, when Spy heard a faint note of “Sexbomb” coming from Scout’s Walkman.

Scout had crawled into the shed’s framework, between the outer and inner wall, and was playing a specific verse over and over and over again, looking like he was on another plane of existence.

Spy immediately called for Medic, who had to lift Scout out by the underarms through a jagged hole in the side of the building. By then, the fight was over, so they could take him directly to the lab.

Medic’s Evaluation:

“I’m guessing zhis is your first mental breakdown?”

“Mental…doc, I ain’t crazy. Wait, you’re not goin’ to put me in a straight jacket, are ya?”

“If you’re not doing anyzhing later.”

Medic started to laugh, but quickly realized this might not be the time.

“No, Scout, everyvun has a mental breakdown at least vunce in their lives. It’s a…how do you say…a vake-up call of sorts. Vhen your body has no other options left.”

“Whaddya mean?”

“For zhe past few months, you health, both physical and mental, has been deteriorating. You eat less. You talk less. Your attacks are lackluster. You have bags under your eyes. You flinch vhen somevun yells for you. You stare off into space. Your routine, vhich usually has at least some changes, has become stringent, as if you can’t possibly expend any more energy into extra activities. You have avoided Demoman on zhe battlefield, even though you usually use him for cover.”

Medic flipped through his notes.

“I have pages and pages of your decline. However, as a scientist, I believe it is caused by zhe same source. And, though I usually respect my patient’s right to privacy vhen it comes to these sorts of matters, I believe you’ve been keeping something from me. Something that I should know as your general practitioner…your doctor.”

Scout shrugged, already shutting out the conversation.

Medic sighed.

“Maybe I tried to talk to you about zhis too soon. After all, you’ve just had a very sudden and exhausting episode. But…perhaps…”

Medic took a sheet of printer paper from his clipboard and a spare pen from his pocket.

“…zhere is an alternative.”

Scout was still unresponsive, but Medic continued.

“Zhere is a patient in my vaiting room vis a metal pole through the chest. It vill take me at least an hour to properly remove it, and a few minutes more to heal zhe area. Vhile I do zhat, vhy don’t you draw how you feel?”

Medic smiled.

“I know how much it grounds you.”

It wasn’t until Medic left that Scout actually picked up the pen, but he began drawing immediately.

For the first time in a while, he wasn’t trying to hide his strokes or scratch up the cleaner lines. No more stick figures. No more pretending.

Five minutes later, he was fully engrossed.

Medic started to walk in at one point, but, seeing how relaxed Scout was, decided to give him a few more minutes.

He deserved it.

[crimeronan]

Ok so I’m into the dreamer trilogy and haven’t read the Raven cycle...what is Declan’s characterisation/journey there?

THIS MIGHT BE THE BEST ASK I’VE EVER RECEIVED. IMAGINE I’M STANDING WITH MY ARMS SPREAD USING DIFFERENT VOICES AND HAND GESTURES TO REENACT THIS STORY FOR A RESENTFUL CAPTIVE AUDIENCE

also declan’s TRC storyline is like. equal parts horribly fucking sad and unbelievably fucking hilarious so. i will try to strike a Balance

FIRST OFF.  there is exactly one (1) declan POV chapter in the entire series. it happens toward the end of the last book. up until then, everything we know about him comes from the observations and narration of others.

he is also a very minor character.  his importance grows throughout the series, but almost all of his actions happen offscreen.  it’s not until the last book that we know exactly how much he’s been dealing with the whole time.

when he’s introduced in the first book, he appears as a plot device.  here is a two-dimensional horrible controlling hardass who doesn’t give a shit about anything but his future political career.  look at his fake, smug fucking grin.  how did someone like ronan end up with a brother like him??  doesn’t matter.  it’s a convenient excuse for ronan to live with his best friend in a drafty warehouse, which means more room for YA hijinks!

declan’s introduction scene is Embroiled in Capital-D Douchebaggery. according to the narration (from gansey and adam), he loves to fuck women and then never call them back, cozy up to powerful people, and bitch about how ronan’s ruining his life by being sad about their dead parents.  SOME people can just get over their dead parents, ronan!

this intro scene is also Extremely Funny i 100% recommend reading it even if u don’t read the actual series.  ronan makes a nasty comment, declan goes “why are you the way that you are” and tries to salvage his date, gansey utters the phrase “man whore”

then later that night things go like. actually bad.

declan shows up at the same pizza place where ronan is with his friends.  this scene is gansey pov.  gansey runs out to the parking lot to find the two of them Very Literally Trying To Kill Each Other.  you don’t see that violence in cdth - there’s only the TINIEST shadow of it when declan confronts ronan over matthew - so i Cannot Express Enough that someone is going to end up hospitalized at BEST. ronan’s already slammed declan’s head on the car, declan’s already grabbed ronan and beaten the shit out of his face, like.

you do not get good old-fashioned Declan Lynch At His Actual Worst in cdth. u might be thinking, THAT guy???? doing THIS????

oh yeah. things are real bad between declan and ronan.

after gansey breaks up the fight (and gets punched in the face for his trouble, albeit accidentally), declan tells ronan that their dad would be fucking ashamed to see him now & that he’s washing his hands of it & basically if ronan wants to go off and fucking die, he can.

this is like. just a couple months after the magical suicide attempt referenced in cdth

in the aftermath of that scene it becomes clear that ronan absolutely unequivocally 100% will kill himself if he has to live with declan. hence. why he’s living with gansey instead.  gansey spends that whole night petrified that the declan altercation will lead to another attempt, and for Good Reason

so like, that’s how we first meet declan. he’s an uncaring wannabe corporate asshole who does not give a fuck and who only exists to exacerbate ronan’s mental health issues.

but then the opening of book 2 gets real interesting.

book 2 is where we start learning more about the lynch family.  we learn that ronan’s father was a dreamer who sold his creations on the black market, we learn that that’s why he was murdered. we learn that ronan’s a dreamer too. we learn that there are very powerful people looking for the greywaren, an artifact that takes objects from dreams. those powerful people just don’t realize it’s a person, yet.

so here’s the assassin who killed niall lynch.

he goes to declan’s dorm.

with everything we know about declan, the kid should be completely unprepared.  he can box, but the assassin knows that, so there’s no real advantage.  he’s alone, and he doesn’t have an escape route.

declan pulls out a gun.

this is an unexpected turn of events.

unfortunately he ends up getting beaten half to death with the butt of said gun, because he loses the ensuing physical struggle for the weapon.  the assassin is like, i need the greywaren.  declan is like, i know it exists but i don’t know what it is.  i’ll find it for you.  i’ll get it to you.  then you’ll leave me the fuck alone

now with everything we know of declan at this point - his attitude toward ronan, his general demeanor, and this new knowledge that he knew about the black market - there’s one obvious question.

will declan sell ronan out if he finds out about the dreaming.

and like, okay. their relationship is antagonistic in cdth but it is NOT what it is in trc. believe me when i tell you that at that point, when you’re reading, you can pretty reasonably go, “oh, god.  oh god.  oh god please no one ever tell declan what the greywaren is.  oh god.”

declan has some other interactions with ronan and the gang throughout the book, mostly where he’s just a hardass who tells ronan to stop causing trouble.  adam’s the only one who notices that declan is scared.  like bone-deep shaking to the core petrified.  about Something.

probably getting beaten to within an inch of his life by the man who murdered his father.  that’s the reasonable reader conclusion.

so imagine how everything changes when you find out that declan already knows.  that declan’s known about ronan’s dreaming for longer than ronan has.  that declan knew exactly what and who the greywaren was, and he lied to a man who was ready to torture him for information, and he got away with it.

suddenly a lot of things recontextualize.

“keep your head down and stop making trouble”? people are gonna NOTICE your magic bullshit, ronan, we do not have time for this!

“stop hanging with that loser druggie friend of yours”? you mean the loser druggie friend who sells on the magic black market and doesn’t care about protecting himself or anyone else?

“i got super weird for no reason about ronan sleeping close to adam”? i don’t have fucking TIME to be homophobic i’m busy with your POTENTIAL TO MANIFEST NIGHT TERRORS IN FRONT OF WITNESSES IN BROAD DAYLIGHT

“i’ll find out what the greywaren is and bring it to you”? i’ll die. i’m making a bargain to die. i’m never giving you the greywaren and i know you’re going to kill me about it and that’s fine as long as my brothers are safe

ronan doesn’t know that he dreamed matthew.  declan knows.  he’s known the whole time.  declan tells ronan in book 3.  and then things recontextualize even further, because ronan’s death is also matthew’s, and matthew IS close to declan in trc.

but declan never tells the goddamn truth unless it’s his last option.  he doesn’t tell ronan that he knows about the dreaming and he doesn’t tell ronan what specifically wants to hurt him and the lack of communication fucking destroys both of them.

in the last book, ronan realizes declan loves him.

more than that, he realizes declan’s loved him the whole time.

this is when declan finally tells the truth.  things are getting bad, plot-wise, and declan is scared, so he comes clean.  he tells ronan that niall specifically tasked declan with protecting ronan from the market.  he begs ronan to run from the danger.  “let’s pour gasoline on everything dad left and start over.”

this is also when ronan realizes that declan’s childhood was very different from ronan’s own.  and that niall and aurora lynch were not the same people to declan that they were to ronan.  and that their father’s decisions are what’s driven the wedge between him and declan all this time

(he’s still struggling with the cognitive dissonance of this in cdth. i don’t think he knows how to adjust his perception of declan to fit this new information.)

aaaaand the final scene with declan makes me cry every time i read it so instead of summarizing, here’s the important part:

Ronan delivered a sharp tap to the object, and a small cloud of fiery orbs sprayed up with a sparkling hiss.

“Jesus, Ronan!” Declan jerked his chin away.

“Please. Did you think I’d blow your face off?”

He demonstrated it again, that quick tap, that burst of brilliant orbs. He tipped it into Declan’s hand, and before Declan could say anything, jabbed it to activate it once more.

Orbs gasped up into the air. For a moment, he saw how his brother was caught inside them, watching them soar furiously around his face, each gold sun firing gold and white, and when he saw the spacious longing in Declan’s face, he realized how much Declan had missed by growing up neither dreamer nor dreamt. This had never been his home. The Lynches had never tried to make it Declan’s home.

“Declan?” Ronan asked.

Declan’s face cleared. “This is the most useful thing you’ve ever dreamt. You should name it.”

“I have. ORBMASTER. All caps.”

“Technically you’re the orbmaster though, right? And that’s just an orb.”

“Anyone who holds it becomes an ORBMASTER. You’re an ORBMASTER right now. There, keep it, put it in your pocket. D.C. ORBMASTER.”

Declan reached out and scuffed Ronan’s shaved head. “You’re such a little asshole.”

The last time they’d stood on this roof together, their parents had both been alive, and the cattle in these fields had been slowly grazing, and the world had been a smaller place. That time was gone, but for once, it was all right.

The brothers both looked back over the place that had made them, and then they climbed down from the roof together.

[sky-berrie]

How would the batboys react to a female SO with Paranoid Personality Disorder?

Hi there!

Thanks so much for the ask. I hope this is okay :)

-Sky

Bruce

As a person living with paranoid personality disorder, you might be terrified that people are out to harm you. Your place of residence, Gotham city, does nothing but exacerbate your paranoid thought patterns, since criminals run rampant through the streets. It’s hard to distinguish between paranoid thoughts and substantiated concerns. Is that sketchy person with the full face covering one of Black Mask’s False Face Society members sent to abduct you, or are they just a conscientious citizen taking extra precautions to avoid contracting or transmitting the COVID virus? Being in a state of constant fear prevents you from living your life to the fullest. Luckily, your S/O happens to be Batman in his free time.

Bruce eases your mind just with his presence. He’s probably the smartest, strongest, and most resourceful person you know and being with him makes you feel safe. Bruce is the kind of person who you’d blindly listen to during an emergency – if he told you to jump out of a burning plane, you’d do it without a second thought because he’s never let you down in the past and you’re confident that he never will in the future. If you’re feeling fearful in public, Bruce will grab your hand or put an arm around you securely and soothingly whisper in your ear that he’s right here and there’s nothing to worry about. Having paranoid thoughts means that it’s difficult to reason with you, so you probably aren’t convinced that there is no threat, but you do experience some relief from his soft touch and gentle words. He’ll ask if you want to leave and he’ll take you to your safe space. If you’re feeling fearful in private, Bruce will hold you close and rub your back to reduce your anxiety. If you’re by yourself and start to have those racing, panicked paranoid thoughts, you can always call Bruce. He’ll drop whatever he is doing and come take care of you.

Bruce will teach you self defense to help you feel more comfortable around people. He won’t arm you with any dangerous weapons because he doesn’t want an innocent person to get hurt if you get spooked. Bruce will ask if you want to move into the manor since it has strong security and comes with several vigilantes. If you would rather stay at your own place, Bruce will install a variety of safety systems to make you feel protected. He’ll even spend most nights at your place so you can sleep peacefully. Overall, Bruce is like your lifeline. He’ll know just what to do to help you through your difficult thoughts.

Dick

Dick is a social butterfly who’s had his fair share of romantic partners in the past so it’s natural for you to feel jealous when he spends time with other people. Dick will adamantly declare that he’s with you and only you. At first you might try to ignore the prickly feeling of jealousy because you don’t want to come off as a possessive S/O, but the clues accumulate and suggest that he’s cheating on you. For example, he’ll rarely spend the night with you. You’ll catch him sneaking into bed at ungodly hours of the morning. When confronted, he’ll make up an excuse that he just went to get a drink of water or use the bathroom. You’ll spot bruises scattered over his chest knowing you definitely did not leave those there. He’ll play it off as a gym injury.

When you raise your suspicions, Dick is hesitant to explain. You take this as confirmation of infidelity and you’re ready to walk out. At that point, he has no choice but to come clean about his secret identity as Nightwing. That sounds farfetched and you likely think he’s a pathological liar. Finally, Dick proves it to you and explains that he didn’t want you to be dragged into his dangerous nightlife. While you accept that as the truth, you’ll always wonder if he’s hiding more secrets. Furthermore, you’re probably pissed that he was gaslighting you. Dick will do everything he can to make it up to you. He’ll apologize profusely and in extravagant ways, be more transparent, and shower you with excessive love and affection. It might take a long time, but eventually Dick will worm his way back into your good graces.

It doesn’t take long for the green-eyed monster to rear its’ ugly head again. Now that you’re in the know, you’re hyperaware of the attractive vigilantes that Dick works with and it’s emotionally draining to be jealous all the time. You don’t want to be the type of person who tries to control their partner’s life, but when the suffering becomes too much to bear, you might ask him to stop seeing certain people. Dick will calmly assure you that there isn’t anything going on with any of his vigilante friends. If that doesn’t appease you, he’ll suggest that you hang out with the team and get to know them. He hopes that you’ll see that there aren’t any romantic feelings between them. Whatever you do, please don’t force him to choose between you and his hero life. It will tear him apart.

Jason

Trust is very important to Jason. He doesn’t trust many people as it is and needs a S/O who he can trust wholeheartedly and who will trust him in return. He believes that this relationship will fail if you don’t have confidence in each other. He’ll take it personally if you distrust him. Jason will get defensive and frustrated if you accuse him of being unfaithful, especially if you don’t have a shred of evidence to support your claims. He’ll be offended and deeply hurt that you think so negatively of him but once he’s had some time to cool off, he’ll be able to process everything more objectively. He’ll accept that you can’t control the way you feel. You’d explained it to him once that you do trust him, but there’s a separate voice in your head that tells you otherwise. Jason won’t give up on you though. He’ll come up with a proposition - he’ll agree to install a tracking app on his phone so you can monitor his whereabouts if you’ll promise to work on learning to trust him, whether it be via professional psychotherapy or reading self-help books.

On the other hand, if Jason is one of the only people you trust, he’ll be elated to know that you two have built such a strong connection. It’ll be easy to confide in him because he’ll gladly listen to your worried thoughts with no judgement. At first, he’ll reassure you that nothing bad is going to happen to you – he’s Red Hood and nobody is going to pull anything on you if they value their life. Eventually he’ll realize that trying to reason with you isn’t helpful so he’ll stick to active listening when you’re experiencing paranoid thoughts.

However, if Jason is fresh out of the pit and emotionally unstable, you two will probably bond over your mutual distrust and cynicism about the world. Although you and Jason will get along exceptionally well, it’s possible that your irrational thoughts may feed each other’s paranoia and exacerbate the feelings of mistrust and suspicion. If you find yourself unable to let things go, feel free to vent away when you’re with Jason. He is the king of holding grudges, so he’ll probably support you and even join in on trash talking that person with you when you’re angry. Learning to forgive and forget is something you and Jason can work on together. In a way, it brings you two closer together since you understand each other on a level that others can’t begin to comprehend.

Tim

Tim very compassionate and patient; however, he’s afraid of triggering you so he’s often walking on eggshells around you. He just wants to be the perfect supportive S/O for you and doesn’t want to mess up the relationship. His worst offense (in your eyes) is using ambiguous language that lends to multiple interpretations. For example, he might innocently compliment your clothes/hair/makeup and you might assume that he only likes you for your appearance or that he’s implying that you’re vain for wanting to look nice. The moment you shoot him daggers, he’s realized his mistake and starts to furiously backpedal. He tries to explain himself, but he usually ends up digging himself a deeper hole. Eventually, he gets better at expressing his thoughts carefully so that they can’t be misconstrued.

Tim diligently tries to learn your other triggers and how to help. When you’re stuck in a cycle of paranoid thoughts, Tim will get you to focus on what’s real instead of trying to make you see sense. He’ll help you relax by walking you through breathing exercises, playing soothing music, or whatever strategies you find helpful.

Tim isn’t proud of this, but he’s resorted to deceiving you when necessary. For instance, if you’re experiencing paranoid thought patterns and want to be alone, Tim will hesitantly leave, but he’ll probably secretly monitor you only because he’s worried about your safety. If you’re afraid that others are reading your mind, he might pretend that he invented an anti-mindreading helmet to ease your suspicions. He knows you would feel betrayed if you ever found out about his dishonesty, but he reasons that your safety and comfort are more important in the moment.

Damian

Arguments with Damian are brutal. No matter how insignificant the disagreement is, Damian refuses to back down when he believes he’s right. Paired with your own stubbornness and contentiousness, these quarrels generally result in an impasse. Eventually your anger subsides and the depression sinks in. You might assume that Damian doesn’t love you anymore and that fight was the end of your relationship. Maybe you start packing your belongings to move out right away. Damian comes up behind you and asks what you’re doing. When you tell him that you’re leaving because he doesn’t want you anymore, he’s instantly remorseful. He takes your bags out of your hands and proceeds to pull you in close as he tells you how much he loves you. He assures you that two people can disagree and still love each other.

Damian doesn’t want to argue with you and he certainly doesn’t want to see you upset so he’ll always excuse himself before the argument becomes too heated. He hopes that some time apart will allow you both to calm down and come to a compromise, but it’s never that simple. Most of the time, you’ll need a third-party mediator, like a therapist, to resolve your dispute. The act of seeking out a therapist will be a huge accomplishment for your relationship. Damian likes his privacy and doesn’t want someone else in his business and you might be afraid to share intimate information with a stranger in fear that it will be used against you. Nevertheless, you both want to make this relationship work, so you’ll continue to seek help.

Damian has a habit of being blunt. He doesn’t mean to criticize or insult you – in his mind, he is only stating the facts or his opinion for the purpose of helping you improve. Despite his goodhearted intentions, it’s easy for you to take his comments the wrong way and perceive it as a personal attack. If he sees that his remarks have upset you, he’ll acknowledge all the positive aspects of your performance. Still, you might cling to the disparaging comments and ignore the praise. Going forward, Damian will try to be more encouraging and constructive and will only express feedback if you invite him to do so.

[mwolf0epsilon]

What is everyone's greatest fears and insecurities? (I promise this isn't bully anon and I have no ill intent.)

Going for the big guns uh? Buckle in then, let's see what kind of ammo the Fractos has to work with:

Henry Stein - His anger issues. Henry's childhood and adulthood were fairly turbulent because he's prone to getting fits of rage (an issue that was exacerbated when he was drafted to fight in the second world war). There's never been a moment in his life where he wasn't aware that he can hurt people very easily, and it scares him that this is possibly all he's good at. It's why drawing and gardening meant so much to him... For once he could make something good instead of destroying it...

Sammy Lawrence - That he's a weak-willed follower rather than the master of his own fate, untrustworthy and insignificant. His role as the Prophet disgusts him because it's everything he strived not to be, and the hypocrisy of it all left him questioning his identity and sense of self. What is he if he's not Samuel Lawrence Jr? Can he go back to calling himself that? Or is that just another name he can't ever return to ever again...? Just... Who is he?

Jack Fain - Being unable to protect himself and others, no matter how much he tried to be there for his friends. The sense of insignificance and powerlessness left him fearing that every single one if his efforts is in vain.

Susie Campbell - That she's not good enough. Always second best to someone more talented and beautiful than her. That no matter how hard she tried, she should have just given up and let the world step all over her.

Norman Polk - That he's nothing more than an unwanted and unlovable creepy brute. As a tall bulky man of his age and background, Norman's always had a lot against him. But, even when snapping at people or fighting back just as hard was warranted, he never let himself stoop so low. Becoming the out of control and monstrous Projectionist wounded him deeply...

Allison Pendle - That deep down she's just as selfish and careless as Joey. They got along fine because they had a level of understanding about certain arts they were mutually interested in... Maybe that means she's rotten like him. A danger to others if she ever becomes as jaded as he did...

Thomas Connor - The worst part is the guilt. If he hadn't been complacent to Joey's will to begin with, none of this would have happened. He's stuck in a cycle of grief and what ifs, afraid that he's damned everyone because of his own hubris as a prideful engineer.

Shawn Flynn - His willful ignorance will haunt him forever. He knew something was wrong, but he'd rather ignore it and make a quick buck than actually stop to think. It only struck him that he was in too deep when Grant began to deteriorate, and by then it was too late to stop. If only he hadn't been so selfish and cocky...

Grant Cohen - That he deserves all of this in some twisted terrible way. His life has always been one string of misfortunes after another. Maybe he was a bad person in another life. Maybe he didn't show enough people kindness in this one... Maybe he's just destined to suffer. He's always been and always will be unable to save himself...

Buddy Lewek - That he's too weak and cowardly to be of any help. Everyone has been doing so much to keep him safe, and he doesn't have the strength to do the same for them. He feels guilty about it, but he just... He just can't... He's afraid and he wants to go home. He wants his mom... And he feels bad that he's this pathetic when his friends need him most.

Abby Lambert - Regret, guilt, sorrow... She knows them all to well. Most of all she knows hatred the best... She hates that she was so bad a judge of character that she couldn't see just how bad things got. Just how far Joey would take it... She was blind to it all because she considered him a friend, and she'll never forgive herself or him for it...

Doc Hackenbush - That he didn't leave when he could have. He was aware and against the results of the experiments, but he was also curious. Morbidly so. He could have helped stop all of this before it got to this point... But instead chose to stay quiet. A choice that will haunt him forever.

Bertrum Piedmont - That he'd been too proud to realize he was digging himself and Lacie an early grave. What hurts most now isn't even the state he's in... It's that he damned his closest friend to this terrible fate as well...

Lacie Benton - That she couldn't convince Bertrum to not accept a contract with Joey. She knew something was off with the man... She just couldn't imagine this being how it ended... Feels like she failed her dearest friend.

Emma LaMonte - Her biggest regret is not telling her family how much she appreciated them. She'd been a stuck-up unpleasant and difficult lady all her life and now... She fears she'll never have a chance to make amends.

Detective Sinclair - That he failed Joey in some way, thus made him more prone to becoming less interested in being a law abiding citizen. He knows that something broke when he failed that case... That somehow he taught that young and impressionable puppy-eyed boy that justice only matters as long as you're caught... He's a failure of a detective and all of this is his fault...

The Ink Demon - That his imperfections are the reason everyone is suffering. That he's not good enough to deserve to live. That he's a monster that taints everything he touches... The list goes on...

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

May 2021 Wk 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

It’s a cray cray Friday when Vietnam gets its eng subs up before GMMTV Thailand. What alter-reality are we in? Well, the Vietnamese offerings are better right now anyway. (Oooo, feel that burn.) 

Ongoing Series - Thai

Top Secret Together Ep 2 - pulping it up in the best possible way. Sure sound and production values are pants, and in classic Thai fashion the editing in post is exacerbating (rather than fixing) pacing issues, but it’s still CUTE AF. I don’t even mind the added university storyline, because they’ve got good chemistry (and a confident gay fresher after a panicked gay hazer is an old favorite... what can I say, SOTUS was my first love). We aren’t spending too much time with any one couple, so it’s weighted a lot better than Brothers was, but also character development is slow. 

Siew Sum Noi Ep 2 - Unfortunately, it’s just too hard to find, plus no subs. I’m dropping it in the hopes it comes back on my radar some day. 

Y-Destiny Ep 8 - (Thurs) It’s rough having a ghost boyfriend, half your friends are scared, the other half think you’re crazy, and kissing shortens your lifespan. This was a cute couple even if I wasn’t wild about the surrounding story. 

Close Friend Ep 5: (Dear My Star/JimmyTommy) - about high school penpals. It had to rely entirely on voice over work as the actors only meet face to face at the end. It’s a good thing they are appealing screen presences on their own, with good vocal control. It’s hard to imagine any other BL pair carrying this kinda plot. It’s by far my favorite of the series so far, and I’m not even a big JimmyTommy fan. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 7 - no subs. Do we care? Not really. Because we have... 

Nitiman Ep 3 - currently my favorite out of Thailand. It’s the university Thai BL i’ve been waiting for since... when was the last good one? My Engineer? Yowza. Anyway we got: head on my shoulder, baby is a floppy drunk (but still wants to be in control), proximity alert, boyfriend’s closet, seme gets seriously jelly, and a cute twist on feeding him. There’s something fun and complex about Jin’s character. He’s not a panicked bi. He knows exactly what’s going on, he just hasn’t decided if he wants Bb or not. He clearly enjoys being looked after, the compliments, and the attention, but he’s not sure if he’s going to like what happens if he gives in. I like that twist on the usual tsundere uke archetype a lot, cautious rather than willfully obtuse or freaked out. We can see Jin realizing in stages: I like this person, I like that they like me, I like the romantic attentiveness. But in the background is... do I actually want to f*k him? It’s a dynamic we don’t often see on BL. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 10 fin - the most ridiculous show using BLs worst tropes in a sort of weird smoothie of bitter greens and too ripe banana. The ending was the sappiest cheesiest thing ever, like cheese syrup tapped from the cheese tree. So of course I loved it, but I’m pretty sure I giggled through all the bits meant to be profound. Because, in the end, to tolerate this show at all, you just can’t take ANY of it seriously. RECOMMENDED (with some SERIOUS reservations and trigger warnings.) Full review here. 

Be Loved in House: I Do (Taiwan) Ep 1-2 - I don’t mind a damaged seme character but this one is a bit weird for me. Like creepy Cheese in the Trap level weird. On the bright side, the story has given our tsundere uke good motivation for his angst and great existing friendships, loyalty, and likability. Plus I’m invested in the cafe owner/innocent puppy side dishes. So if it’s only the seme character I’m not jiving with, and he’s the most established actor, it should all turn out fine. I believe in you, Taiwanese BL. 

Papa & Daddy (Taiwan) Ep 6 fin - speaking of belief. This such a good show but they gave us a cliffhanger ending. Now we must hope against hope for season two. That’s never guaranteed with Taiwan tho. So, I’m docking a few points and saying, RECOMMENDED so long as you realize it’s a cliffhanger. 

Love is Science? (Taiwan) Ep 1-9 (BL subplot) - this is a good het romance, but the fact that the BL subplot is a beautifully acted disaster bi + confident gay means you’re hearing about it whether you want to or not. Plus they just added in some GL! Come on! I gotta support Taiwan normalizing queer to this extent. They are fighting the good fight and if I also have to watch a career lady and her much younger softest straight boi get it on, too? Twist my arm with that service sub subtext. Go on Taiwan, TWIST IT. It’s on Viki. Join the revolution.   * Incidentally if you actually like the D/s het dynamic of this show, I highly recommend Japanese Kimi wa Petto - career woman keeps a hot young dancer boy as a pet. Oh yes, an actual pet, that IS the pitch. Never doubt Japan when kink is on the line. It’s also on Viki. Go get your kink on, thank me later. (If it helps: That was not a request.)  

Most Peaceful Place 2 (Vietnam) Ep 2 (AKA 5) - love triangles aren’t my thing, but if you’re gonna do it short form, by all means bring in the lead’s other BL pairing so the chemistry is on point. Now I've no idea who I want him to end up with. Can’t they just be in a poly triad? 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 7 - I’m still enjoying it a lot. It’s still unabashedly queer and the tension is ramping up. We now have secret identity, blackmail, femme fatale, faen fatale, and incoming seme confrontation. Best of all, the series is still airing, which makes it longer than any other Vietnamese BL I’ve seen (aside from Tein Bromance - which is just too weird to count). 

Gossip - Thai BL 

SEVEN PROJECT TEASERS

No one is entirely sure what Studio Wabi Sabi’s Seven Project/7Project will entail. 

It might be like Close Friend (1 episode per couple, no linking), 

or Y-Destiny (2 episodes per couple, loosely linked), 

or The En of Love (4 episodes per couple, linked but independent consecutive stories). 

They’re giving the couple’s arcs separate titles. So each one would be what? Seven Project: Once Upon a Time or the like? We’re in Taiwanese title territory people and NO ONE WANTS TO GO THERE. Anygay... 

Once Upon a Time is the BounPrem (og UWMA) anchor story, and seems to be the most dramatic and likely saddest. These two can handle most of what’s thrown at them at this juncture, so it should be good. 

Vs Love is a BoomPeak (og Make it Right) university vehicle. Since I thought Boom was done with our nonsense, I couldn’t be more thrilled and surprised this pair is doing another show together. I don’t think either of them are the greatest actors but I find Peak very endearing and Boom charismatic on screen, so I’ll watch. 

Would You be My Love is the hotly anticipated SantaEarth launch. They’re a (cultivated) IRL ship and Earth is an established BL actor. They have great chemistry and high energy so this could be lots of fun. 

We are also getting a GL from this series from established BL actresses Samantha and Pineare. Nothing teased yet on that, but I’m looking forward to this installment the most. Also curious to see how the ladies handle the branding and promo side, not to mention the culture. (Thailand variety shows gonna force *girls* to play the Pepero game?) 

Secret Crush on You upcoming Thai BL with no release date, co-produced by and featuring (but NOT staring) Saint and directed by Cheewin (sigh) with all fresh faces. (Previously known as Stalker the series.) It looks like pure pulp and I’m not wild about the plot but could be better than expected as it’s adapted from a novel. Cheewin is an okay director when he has an actual story to follow. 

Don’t Say No the series. Coming from the producers of TharnType this is the JaFirst vehicle many have been waiting for. Friends to lovers + a good boy/bad boy pairing on a sports romance foundation. It’s basketball so they tapped Meen as well (he’s semi-pro). The bad news? You get one guess as to who is writing the darn thing? Yep it’s MAME. So, ya know, expect some slam dunk kidnapping, a light dribbling of rape, and me turning into a basketcase. AKA... 

Will I have to live blog this series in order to survive it? That seems to be the only way I can. So probably. Which means the bad sports puns will continue. Look, if I’m suffering, SO ARE YOU! 

Rumors of a new YinWar vehicle The Best Story (mini series) coming in July. Also rumors that their previously announced Love Mechanics (full length series) has either been delayed, is facing money issues, or is moving studios, or all three. 

Breaking News 

DELAYED (I’m talking these three off the watch list until we get new airing dates) 

Love Area’s release was pushed out but it got a trailer. 

Golden Blood was supposed to drop Weds but comments in MDL report that it is delayed due to C19.  

Love’s Outlet (Taiwan) is supposed to have started a 50 episode run (only 3-5 min each, what utter nonsense). Sadly, this delay is due to a surge in cases in Taiwan which was doing so well, but also doesn’t have many inoculations. 

Bad Buddy has started workshopping at GMMTV actual. 

Kang Insoo’s BTS for Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding is SO FLIPPING CUTE. You have to watch it. Trust me, I don’t rec behind the scenes stuff often. 

Next Week Looks Like This: 

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.