#like it makes me feel uncomfortable to say now even tho she was even physically abusive towards me!

[moonstruckme]

hellooooooo, could you please make (when you have the time) something where James Potter has a girlfriend that its sooo touch starved but also has a hard time being touched/hugged (for some reason kissing doesn't bother her but she gets really shy with that) an she is unable to receive compliments, she tries to express her love in other ways tho

i'm that type of person so i would love to see something like that:(

Ugh same baby! Thanks for requesting :)

James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 1.2k words

You and James are on opposite sides of the couch, and you feel like you’re going to combust. 

The issue is his foot. You’re covered by a blanket, but James’ foot is brushing your calf through the fabric, moving back and forth so slowly you wonder if he even realizes he’s doing it. And it’s not not nice, but even that tiny bit of contact (again, through a blanket) is almost too much for you. Every nerve in your body is at attention—you don’t think James could breathe in your direction without you noticing it—and you want him to cover your entire body with his even if it’ll probably kill you. 

“You doing alright over there, lovely?” James asks, eyes still on the TV. He must be paying more attention than you realize. 

And one of the difficult parts of your relationship with James is that there are some parts of you he simply cannot understand, but that won’t stop him from trying. Like, James is a naturally tactile person. He wants to hug and kiss and love on you all day long, as he made abundantly clear from your very first date. But you’re not. You want to be, you want to let him give you all the affection he has to offer and return it with twice the zeal, but no one touched you like this before him. Your family weren’t the physically affectionate type, and your friends didn’t bother with it around you, so James’ particular brand of overly touchy loving was…new. You crave it and yet when he gives it to you it feels foreign and borderline uncomfortable. You’d done your best to explain it to him, and James had taken it all in stride, though you could tell there was some mixture of pity and bafflement at your odd love/hate relationship with physical closeness. Now, he does his best to give you that particular form of affection in small doses. He checks with you before putting his hands on you, hugs you just until your blush gives you away, and restricts his casual contact with you to chaste areas. Like his foot and your calf.

“Mhm,” you reply, unsure how to explain the effect he’s having on you and unwilling to say anything that’ll make him stop.

Narrowed brown eyes move from the TV screen to your face. “Promise?”

“I’m okay.” 

“Something’s bothering you, though.” 

You hesitate. You don’t want to lie to him, it’s just that it’s more complicated than that. “Not really.” 

“And you’re not really avoiding the question, right?” James grins at you, though it’s tinged with worry. “C’mon, angel, be straight with me. Something’s on your mind, yeah?”

You’re silent, but an involuntary glance downwards gives you away. James’ foot is drawn back towards him in an instant. “Ah, that was too much, huh? My bad.” 

“No, James, I—” you sigh heavily. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be sorry, lovely girl,” he says it easily, but not without gravity. “I’m the one who didn’t check if it was okay.” 

“But you shouldn’t have to check.” You’re shaking your head, drawing your legs into your chest, shrinking from him even in your frustration that you shrink from him. “I don’t want you to feel bad about touching me, James. It’s not like it scares me or anything, I don’t know why I’m so weird about it.”

“Hey.” His voice is lightly chiding, remonstrance gentled. He’s not touching you, but he’s doing his next best thing, turning his body to face you so you’ll know you have his full attention. “I know, you’ve told me how you feel about it. I don’t take it personally, sweetheart, I just want you to be comfortable. You don’t have to be scared to not be having a good time.” 

You let the quiet noise of the TV fill the silence for a moment, looking at him. He’s smiling just a tiny bit, even now. He told you once that he can’t help being some degree of happy when he’s with you, no matter what’s happening around him. His eyes are big and brown and open behind his glasses, eyes that haven’t learned to dull themselves for the sake of self-preservation, but there’s a slight pinch around the corners. He’s evaluating you, trying to figure out where your mind is going and how to meet it there. 

“I think my problem,” you say, trying the weight of each word before voicing it, “is that I want you to be able to show…affection, whatever way is natural to you.” A crease appears on James’ forehead and you can see the rebuttal forming on his tongue, but he lets you say your piece. “And it makes me feel bad that I’m stopping you from doing that, and that I can’t show it back to you either.” 

The crease deepens. James has an easier time choosing his words than you did. “I don’t mind not being able to touch you. I mean, would I have my hands all over you day and night if you wanted it?” He flashes a flirty smile. “Obviously. But I care about you, not that, and you aren’t as used to that stuff. The idea of touching you is as unappealing to me as I imagine it is to you, because you’d be uncomfortable the whole time. What kind of boyfriend would I be then, huh?” He sticks out a foot to nudge your knee gently. “Anyway, I don’t need you to be all over me to know you care. You think I thought the muffins I ate this morning made themselves?” He raises his eyebrows at you, nodding for you to answer. 

Your face warms. “No.” 

James nods encouragingly. “As I suspected. And that was some of the best love I’ve ever tasted! Plus, those little notes you write when you’re going to be home late or you know I have a busy day? Angel,” he says, voice dropping into soft earnestness, “those make my entire week.”

You bite your lip, but you’re powerless to stop the spread of your smile. “I’m glad you like them,” you reply bashfully. 

“Like them?” James throws up his arms, indignant. “Sweetheart, I can feel the love coming off those things like you’ve drowned them in amortentia. Don’t get me wrong, I love hugging you, but that?” He shakes his head. “There’s nothing better.”

You imagine your complexion is approaching fire-hydrant red about now, but you’re so happy to hardly care. “Thanks, Jamie.” 

“Thank you, angel,” he says, and you can tell he’s smothering his grin intentionally to make you take him seriously. “I mean it, I wouldn’t want you any other way. You’re my best girl, understand?”

You can’t look at him for embarrassment, but you nod. After a moment, James’ silence draws your eyes back to him, to find him grinning. The sight is familiar, as is the warm, fuzzy sensation that spreads through your insides. His eyes narrow slightly, assessing you. 

“Do you feel like a hug, lovely girl?” 

You nod again as you go to him, abandoning your blanket. James’ arms open, his legs parting automatically to slot you between them. One hand finds your mid-back while the other cradles the nape of your neck, and you press both of yours to his shoulder blades, drawing him downwards and into you. He makes the most of it, fingers curling in the fabric of your shirt. You can feel his heartbeat a few inches to the right of yours. 

A tiny shiver of pleasure goes through you, and you tighten your grip on him so he won’t let go, but James understands, and pulls you closer.

[alevolpe]

Thoughts on the relationship between mamoru/tuxedo mask and usagi?

I like it in the abstract, but I don’t love it in any canon (aka the anime, Crystal and manga, only ones I’ve watched fully).

I still think the anime, despite the many MANY flaws their relationship has, is also the most endearing and likable to me. I really like their bantery, but sweet relationship of the first season (yes, he did get unnecessarily mean at times..). Usagi obviously thrives in relationships where she has a bit of push back, just look at her and Rei or her and Luna, her mother. Usagi likes to bicker and surround herself with “colorful” personalities. SO having Mamo be a bit of a looser who picks and bickers with her is very fitting and quite cute imo.

I still believe this scene is peak Usamamo chemistry.

Now about the manga/Crystal… sigh.

I’ll keep it brief cause it genuinely makes me uncomfortable thinking too much about it, but I really dislike how much it feels like they are together as Serenity and Endymion. They call each other by their “past life” names and I hate it. For those who have been following me for a while, you already know my thoughts on reincarnating as the exact same person.

It feels like Mamoru and Usagi have no agency in their own bodies and minds and it’s genuinely gross (it’s a me thing I know, but it genuinely destroys the relationship for me and I cannot look past it). Ik in the anime they do too sometimes, but very rarely and the whole “loving each other through reincarnations” is not as hammered in as in the manga.

I’ll give credit to the manga for not aging Mamoru up tho, even tho, UNPOPULAR OPINION, the only difference between anime Mamo and manga Mamo (age wise) is just him telling Usagi he’s in high school. He still looks and acts much older than her, but hey, if an ID is enough to make someone more comfortable, more power to you.

Also another plus I’ll give the manga is their much healthier relationship in regards of physical affection. Every time they engage in casual kissing or hugging in the anime is the most awkward thing in the universe and also they seem to have much healthier sexual relationship in the manga, so that’s that. (Although give the *circumstances* of the anime, I’m glad they never went that far, cause yikes).

My ideal relationship for them is similar to the anime, tho Mamo is an actual teenager. And not just “here’s my ID teenager”, he acts and lives like a teen.

Also I’d MAKE SURE that they are together for themselves, they need to say it, both of them to each other and it should be a major part of their character arcs together. Serenity and Endymion DO NOT matter.

They are together cause USAGI loves MAMORU and MAMORU loves USAGI. They have the agency to choose who they love from the memories and emotions they shared in this life.

[jjtheresidentbaby]

Hi, I really liked reading your agere fics 💖 I wanted to say I really appreciate you writing them!

I was wondering if you could possibly do an sbg agere where Aiden regresses? With Ash as his caretaker? Or swapped, they're just both my favourites and I really relate to them so it would just be lovely ✨️ no pressure tho!

˚. ❝₊˚ vulnerable ❞ ˚₊·

» ashlyn banner x aiden clark

» on my ao3 | word count: 1k+ | rated: gen

» warnings: !!don’t like, don’t read!!, little!ashlyn, caregiver!aiden, talk of the phantom dimension, swearing, aiden helps her get changed but it’s brief, v slight angst

» art creds to @gummyobunni

Ashlyn hadn’t meant to regress, truly she was trying to stay big until the group left their planned night of studying at her house as their schoolwork has been severely disrupted due to the phantom dimension- but her plan to stay big is being seriously disrupted right now.

Aiden has an arm around her shoulders and a hand rubbing up and down her arm, something she’d normally scowl at and push away from, but something her little side sinks right into. It’s getting later, around ten pm, the usual time she allows herself to slip before the inevitable monster fighting montage she’s thrown into every night begins. And while that’s never been a problem because Ashlyn has gotten quite good at monitoring the time so she knows she’ll be big when in the phantom dimension, it’s certainly a problem right now.

Damn Aiden and his never ending attempts at trying to make Ashlyn engage in physical contact, and damn her headspace for making her feel so comforted by it.

“Ash?” Aiden’s voice is cheery like always as he tugs her closer towards his chest, not a protest in sight.

“Mm?” The conversation the group has been having has been going straight over Ashlyn’s head so she hopes he’s not about to ask her something related to it.

“Taylor, Tyler and Logan went home. Me and Ben are gonna crash here cause your parents don’t want us home alone.” Oh, they did go home, and Aiden and Ashlyn are the only ones left in the room.

“Where’d Ben go?” Possibly to walk Taylor outside as he’s been doing lately.

“Downstairs with your mom, he’s getting snacks.” She hums and lets the notebook barely held in her hand slide to the floor before bringing an arm around Aiden’s chest without a second thought about it.

“Hey, are you okay?” A sudden worry drapes over Aiden’s words, his brows furrowing and eyes locking with Ashlyn’s.

“Tired.” It’s not the answer Aiden was looking for but he takes it and nods.

“We can move to your bed if you want. You might wanna change first.” The jeans she’s wearing are uncomfortable now and even the shirt she has on is a bit tight around her neck- but trying to choose a suitable outfit right now sounds difficult for how small she can feel herself slipping.

“Can you grab me somethin’ to change into?” She curses the lisp that comes out of her mouth but hopes Aiden just writes it off as her exhaustion.

“Uhh sure..” He gives her another concerned glance before standing and starting to rummage around her dresser.

Ashlyn tries to seem productive waiting for Aiden, tidying up the open math books and pens scattered across her floor, shoving it all into a pile that’s still messy but at least out of the way. The motions are clumsy and she’s glad Aiden isn’t turned around to see just how badly she’s struggling with her motor skills right now.

“This good?” A loose army green t-shirt and pair of jogger sweatpants get held up and Ashlyn nods, it’s better than she would’ve done since she knows those sweatpants were shoved to the back of the drawer.

“I’ll let you change.” Before Aiden can walk out of Ashlyn’s room, she catches his wrist from where she’s still on the floor, silently asking him for help which he quickly complies in. There’s an unsteadiness to her stance once she’s upright, barely tumbling straight back down to the floor if it wasn’t for Aiden catching her and guiding her to sit on the edge of her bed.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” The worry is undeniable now.

“I- I feel kinda little.” That’s either going to be enough for Aiden to understand what’s going on or it’ll leave him more confused, she’s praying for the former.

“I didn’t know you regressed.” Oh thank god.

“I don’t like to talk about it. It’s vulnerable and I don’t do that…” The word vulnerable is too mumbled and squished together for it to sound anything like how Ashlyn’s words usually do but Aiden understands it.

“We don’t have to talk about it, but I’m not gonna leave you alone right now.” Probably for the better if she’s honest with herself.

“Can you help me get changed?” A small smile pulls on Aiden’s lips at the childish tone in Ashlyn’s voice, he nods and picks up the stack of clothes he just discarded.

It takes no time at all to switch her shirt over to the more baggy t-shirt but trying to get the tight jeans she has on off and then the joggers on is a bit of a struggle. Thankfully for Aiden, Ashlyn spends the entire time giggling at Aiden kneeling by her bed struggling to yank the jeans off. It’s obvious she’s slipped younger and it’s absolutely adorable in Aiden’s humble opinion.

“All set Ash.” He almost broke a sweat doing that.

“What else do you need? Brush your teeth? Water?” The redhead ponders the questions before shaking her head but pointing over to her closed closet.

“Gotta get Bunny from the closet!” She exclaims and swings her feet off the side of her bed, ready to jump down but quickly stopped by Aiden’s hands on her shoulders- the last thing he wants is for her to end up falling and hurting herself, she was already pretty unstable earlier and now she’s farther into headspace he can only imagine how hard of a time she’d have now.

“Where is he? I’ll grab him.”

“She! Bunny’s a she, she’s on the top shelf.” A pout appears on Ashlyn’s face at the wrong pronoun use of her favorite toy, Aiden nearly chuckles at how cute it is but refrains as he can guess she wouldn’t like that very much.

Sure enough, there’s a baby pink stuffed rabbit on the top shelf of Ashlyn’s closet, thrown atop a bin of old ballet costumes from what he can tell, trying to be hidden. It’s an older plush with worn features and droopy ears that have definitely seen better days as the fur is all matted down and even the ribbon on its neck is frayed at the edges. Maybe he can find the same one online somewhere, just for a backup as he doubts she’ll ever get rid of this one with how long she’s already had it.

“Here you go.” A beaming smile gets sent Aiden’s way- this is the most Aiden’s ever seen Ashlyn smile in one day, a real smile, big and stress free. It tugs on his heartstrings.

“Anything else?”

“Can you tell me a story?” There are no kid books in sight and with the way Ashlyn’s looking at Aiden, he’s guessing she wants to hear him make one up.

“Lay back first.” Ashlyn scrambles back on the bed to slip under her blanket and tug Bunny up to her chest with expecting eyes, Aiden moves to flip the main light off before coming to join her in the bed.

The second Aiden’s comfortably leaned against the headboard Ashlyn curls into his side again, head on his chest and arm around his middle, Bunny still pressed against her front. She blinks tiredly at him and he hesitantly runs a hand over her back, still worried he’ll cross a line and she’ll jump away from his touch like she usually does.

“Once upon a time there was a ballerina…” He starts, coming up with a random plot line in his head, watching contently how Ashlyn’s eyes flutter closed within a couple minutes of the story starting. They’ll talk about this more later on, for now Aiden tugs Ashlyn closer and tries to savor this moment as he knows they’ll be in a very different situation come a few hours.

[dreamsndmadness]

Hello!! Me again, :)

I read the newest chapter(of bloodlines, which was awesome) and I was wondering about Paul. What about Feyd endears Paul? Honestly, Feyd doesn’t seem like someone Paul would be with given the choice especially considering Feyds first impression. It seems to me that at this point even tho Paul and his mother are still being the plotting little schemers we know and love and that Paul’s affections could be apart of some plan of theirs, his emotional boundaries are still somewhat being chipped away at by Feyd.

Also btw this isn’t relevant to the characters but I love how you worked your way around feyds social ineptness to give the readers hints to understanding Paul, for example in chapter 6 when they’re talking about the spice shipments and Paul says “it’s only been a few weeks since the change” and he gets a cloudy look in his eyes; I interpreted that as him also reflecting on how short it’s been since his father died and how his life has been drastically changed but Feyd doesn’t pick up on that at allllll lol.

Also do u mind if ppl draw fanart of ur fic? I’m a very slow artist but I’d love to draw some of ur scenes :3

Another wonderful question 😍.

To be quite honest about what Paul feels for Feyd, there really isn’t affection for him on Paul’s side (at this point!!). Feyd fell pretty fast and hard for obvious reasons. But there are so many more layers surrounding how Paul feels about Feyd. His kinda philosophy going into this was to basically have sex with him because he has to and remain extremely emotionally distant from this person who is part of the family that murdered his beloved father and destroyed his whole world. He very much would not have picked Feyd as a partner if situations were different. Which is part of the reason I am finding writing this story so fun, because it’s picking apart these characters' brains and figuring out a way they can fit together.

Very slight inklings of affection have been creeping up on him and will continue on to creep up on him in the coming chapters. But it is going to be a very slow burn for Paul emotionally. Where Feyd, at this point, is almost in love with him. I feel like each chapter represents another step forward in their relationship, for Feyd and Paul and oftentimes it means different things to them personally.

Paul is only just coming to acknowledge and accept that he’s physically attracted to this person, which in itself was a hard conclusion for him to come to as he was raped on his wedding night. Which was a frankly awful experience for him. Which is why we see him not physically turned on by Feyd for several encounters after that. He’s afraid and in his head and deeply uncomfortable. But Feyd has been pretty relentless about making sure Paul has an orgasm every time they fuck, so Paul was like “hold up… am I enjoying this?”. Basically, chapter 7 was him being like “okay, I enjoy having sex. But I think in order to make this better for the both of us, we need to come to some understandings about how we are going to have sex in the future”. He’s trying to figure out what he likes sexually as he was in fact a virgin before all of this went down. Basically he’s a little more comfortable around Feyd now, hence the slight playfulness in chapter 7 where he tickles him and then laughs at Feyd’s reaction. Honestly such a favorite moment of mine.

(Side note, Paul is going to have a POV chapter soon which will help to elucidate some of this).

So chapter 8 for Paul, that little interaction at the end. He's starting to see and understand that they have a common enemy and see how this could potentially open up some trust between them as they’ve both been hurt by this person. If anyone was wondering, yes I do think Paul knows about Feyd’s CSA. While I haven’t read the book yet, the movies seem to indicate that he gets flashes about people beside himself i.e. Dr Kynes when he knows that she loved and lost a Fremen warrior. In this story, Paul knows Feyd was sexually abused by his uncle. It helps give some perspective on this violent and frankly terrifying person in a way that allows him to feel sympathy and give a little more understanding and context to him as a person and their relationship as a whole. And the fact that at the end of chapter 8 Feyd seeks him out in a protective way rather than to demand sex, goes a long way in Paul having some more good will towards him.

In the next chapter, something else will happen as another step/layer to their relationship that will give Paul another “aha” moment. It’s going to help him feel even more comfortable in their marriage and kinda understand better how their dynamic is going to continue going forward (in a sexual and non sexual way).

Paul and Feyd are such different people with extremely disparate upbringings. Paul was deeply loved and protected by his parents who modeled love and affection for him and raised him to be an intelligent and empathetic person. However, he has little context for having friendships and relationships with people his own age or arguably at all. His only friends seemed to be his parents and much older mentor figures who were old enough to be his father or grandfather. Feyd is not only much younger than those people, but has absolutely no emotional maturity. So there's this very wide divide between them. To bridge that gap is going to take years. Which is why there is going to be more stories after bloodlines. It will not happen by the end of this fic. However, they are going to come to a (hopefully) satisfying emotional understanding by the last chapter. At least I’m very satisfied by it and excited to share it 😝.

If I could pinpoint what specifically endears Feyd to Paul, at this point… honestly not a lot… He is so so different from anyone he’s known before. I think he likes (sometimes), that Feyd surprises him (when it’s not a bad surprise, which honestly most of them have been). He’s much more of an instinctual and spontaneous person where Paul is thoughtful and analytical. I think he appreciates that Feyd seems to like him taking the lead in their sexual relationship. And I think he likes that Feyd seems to respect his intelligence and fighting abilities and actively seeks his council and input.

Oh my goodness this is incredibly long. Hopefully all of that makes sense 😝. Also, yes to Feyd not getting the implication behind Paul’s words in the scene about the time between the change.

ALSO YES PLEASE!!! Oh my goodness!!!!! If you made art for this story, I am not joking when I say I will print it out and frame 🥹❤️. (As long as you are okay with that, that is). Basically, I would be so honored and delighted.

[the-lark-ascending69]

People i want my babygirl Robin to be bullied by:

Billy: obvious option but not less delicious. He's the worst person you've ever met. He probably has no qualms hitting women. Gross disgusting bastard who probably finds Robin both pathetic and arousing. Wouldn't go out of his way to stalk her but he'd have fun cornering her and whispering some really sick comments into her ear while she's paralized by fear if he finds her. His violence is more psychological than physical most times, but if she ever tries to run or fight or do anything else than stay really still and hope he gets bored and leave, he'd grab her by the back of her neck and shake her like a dog. Possibly smelled her homosexuality from a mile away and decided he wanted to "fix her" in the way that's most personally entertaining for him, but he never gets that far. Doesn't make Robin less scared, tho.

Jason: Slightly less obvious option but arguably more compelling than Billy even. Satanic panic idiot, popular boy, respected by the community, dead girlfriend. WOULD get physically violent with Robin much faster than Billy if she and Chrissy were friends. Terrorizing Robin has less to do with his own pleasure and more with incontrollable rage and hatred. Possibly thinks Robin preyed on Chrissy. Has no interest in "fixing" her. He wants to cleanse Hawkins of all traces of her. He wants her in the bottom of the lake.

Nancy: now, don't get me wrong, Nancy loves Robin. She adores her. The way Robin makes Nancy feel is absolutely maddening. Nancy doesn't know what to do with all this feeling - it's dangerous and devastating and terrifying, and it means the final death of the girl she used to think she was. The end of her last tether to normalcy. And Robin is at fault. Because Robin is not normal. And becoming so close with such a freak had been risky. Oh, god, she liked women. How could a woman like women? What was there to like, other than their soft hair and delicate hands and sweet voice? It made no sense. It was inverse, it was - it didn't work like that. Of course, she never goes as far as Billy or Jason. She never yells or threatens or goes out of her way to hurt Robin. But she hurts her nonetheless. She avoids her, for one, and when she can't avoid her, she tells her to keep quiet. To let her do the talking. She ignores Robin when she tries to speak to her and replies to Steve instead - as if Robin were a kid and Steve was the responsible adult looking after her. Robin doesn't understand why her friend is suddenly treating her like this. It started when she told Nancy the truth about her, and she'd reacted awkwardly, sure, and the whole pulling away was something she half expected - no one wants to be friends with a lesbian - but the way she treated her otherwise... it didn't just seem like she was uncomfortable with her. It sounded like she was sick of her. Like she'd realized what a pathetic joke of a person Robin was and couldn't help but feel disgust and frustration whenever she saw her. Like she couldn't help but take it out on her. Suddenly Nancy was telling her to shut up while Robin tried to tell her about an important good idea, or about her feelings, or about anything, really. Suddenly Nancy was pulling her away from the group to secretly tell her she couldn't stay in her house, despite everyone else being there. She offers her an uncomfortable fake smile and lies to her and says something along the lines of her mother suspecting Robin is a queer, and Nancy not wanting her to find out. And Robin knows Nancy is a bad liar, but she feels a shiver run down her spine, scared of the hidden half-truth. She asks Nancy if she's serious. Nancy shrugs, and maybe she tells her she doesn't feel comfortable letting her sleep in the basement with the rest when Max and El are there. She knows Robin will understand. She knows Steve can drop her off at her house or something. But then Robin panics and her eyes water and she tries to talk to Nancy so hard and she just... grabs Nancy's hand, begging her to please, please look at her and listen to her, she doesn't want this. And then a hot pain hits her cheek, and it dawns on her that Nancy just slapped her. Let me go, she says, because Robin is still holding her hand, and Robin mumbles a soft Nance, before she slaps her again. She lets go. No one had ever hit her before. Steve drives her to her house and she stays quiet during the whole ride, eyes still watery, despite Steve's questioning. She absently looks out the window. She doesn't want to speak ever again.

Steve: bet you didn't expect this one. Well, neither did Robin, but a lot of things change after he gets back together with Nancy. Things were normal at first - best of friends, closer than siblings. Nancy wasn't even mad that he spent so much time with Robin. But everything fell apart when Robin confessed her second great secret to Steve, and she was an idiot, of course she was - you didn't say these things to your friend. What kind of person does that? She deserved everything that happened after. She deserved it when Steve looked at her with disgust. She deserved it when he got angry at her, when they fought, and she would later regret defending herself - it didn't matter if she felt like this long before he got back together with Nancy. It didn't matter that he'd told her he didn't love her anymore. None of that mattered because the rules were different for Robin, and for this, she couldn't be forgiven. Suddenly Steve was cold towards her. Suddenly he stopped insisting that they all hang out together, and when sharing a space became inevitable, he acted distant. Protective of Nancy. He observed Robin through the corner of his eye while holding Nancy close to his chest, and it made Robin feel like an animal. Like she should somehow be in jail. But if losing Nancy hurt, losing Steve destroyed her, and she tried to talk to him - always her and her stupid mouth - she talked and talked and he and Nancy just looked at her with so much contempt, that she couldn't help but start crying. And she tries to approach Nancy, tries to talk to her, and it happens so quickly - Nancy tenses up, Steve presses his hand against Robin's chest and roughly pushes her back, making her almost lose her balance. Robin desperately tries to step forward, but he pushes her back again, now he's coming forward, getting into her space in a way that makes Robin feel disgustingly mannish - who treats a woman like this? - when he shoves her back once more and tells her to quit being a creep around his girl. And Robin can't believe her ears, she can't believe this is Steve, her brother, talking to her like this, but his eyes are hard and cold, and Robin feels so inhuman under his gaze.

Now she has no one to help her if Billy or Jason get their hands on her.

[chrlotpony]

one time I was joking around in a gc and said sum like "she's all mine😈" and then immediately had to announce to the chat that I felt physically ill and unwell after saying that. I am a big hater of keeping somebody to yourself like that, even though I know it's supposed to be a mutual feeling.

for a while I thought I was just desiring a poly relationship because of stuff like that, which I think does sound cool but then I got confused over the fact that being in a romantic relationship with multiple people feels the same as just with one.

I then landed finally on aromantic. not without the other confusion that even tho I'm aromantic, I really liked the affectionate actions of a typical romantic relationship. this was true since the last time I was close with a best friend, I'd enjoy sending hug and kiss emojis/gifs, giving them gifts, complimenting them a lot, general typically romantic things with platonic intentions, and I would receive the same. and I didn't mind at all. butttt if I would think about a future with them, I'm either alone and happy, or we'd be roommates, with her in an actual romantic relationship with a girl like she wanted and did I wish to be official with them at any point? a big no. and this was before I identified as aromantic.

but a bit after I identified as aromantic, I felt like the definition alone was leaving a vague description of me. I know I don't like romance all that much and I don't want a romantic relationship, but I still like to be "romantic" with close friends. I also often got mad that actions that are seen as romantic... are seen as romantic. ugh, valentines, amirite? felt that way about the holiday since I was a itty bitty child lmao.

I want to be affectionate and close with people I enjoy being around without the intention of our actions being romantic or the possibility of being in a relationship with them because being in a relationship or doing things romantically is undesirable and makes me uncomfortable, that's where I land on the spectrum.

at some point, I just decided to search up the definition I felt. and luckily, I found a microlable that I fit the description of perfectly. so now I don't only identify as aromantic, but specifically bellusromantic. I know people who just don't get it don't know why to just not identify as aromantic alone if it's a spectrum but like... they just don't get it☹️ and besides, I always liked to lable myself, I feel great about labels.

me being bellusromantic also affects the way I like to enjoy my media and characters. as much as I like shipping characters, I like to ship characters platonically more. "boating" if you will. that's why I often prefer the best friend characters staying best friends in my head. but sometimes, they are also traditionally romantic in a platonic way, and that's how I like to portray my feelings a bit in the media I like.

[thuganomxcs]

SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSES SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S)?

If we're speaking in the canon sense like in his universe I really do like the idea of yusuke x botan because I like the aspects of him with death...not to mention he's a devil now too soo. I still love Yusuke x Keiko tho just so the peeps know there's no hatred for our girl.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

Anything like a muse being a fucking minor and the other almost hitting their 40's. There's ONE particular verse that does this shit but this ain't about them. As long as you don't ship your literal grown man/woman with a literal definition of a child then I wouldn't have to be disturbed.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFT?

The minute a hand touches a boob or the clothes begin to fly off I'm guessing it's considered NSFW.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

LOL I'd say I am..but people have known to just show up, write with me and in a day of our muses vibing we're already shipping them. I MEAN if I have to be selective I'd say..as long as she's a woman XD

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

Where do I even begin?? First of all I gotta go with the one that started this and that's @belovedblossoms Hiyori. She was the first person I've ever shipped Yusuke with and that relationship has started from not so disney friendly beginnings but entertaining as shit. Then there's @lady-llewellyn El who just ruins the guy, I swear in this ship Yusuke is the innocent one in the relationship no cap. We got @itmeanspeace Shiloh, this one started off just plain physical until she became attached, lol look at me talk as if Yusuke didn't catch feelings too..probably first since he's still kinda technically a human. Give it up for @swordsxandxsakuras Nezuko, the first one to actually go the full nine yards with him to dating all the way down to married with kids. Then there's my homie @fatexbound Chie I wouldn't CALL it a relationship yet but they're definitely in that phase in getting to know one another. You know I gotta put my home girl @adversitybloomed Mulan, who's probably seen everything there is to who Yusuke is as a character, she's been with him as a pervert all the way to him being nice and doing stuff for people. She's also helped him with his family life might have bribed him to go to college but in the end Yusuke proposed to her and it's actually the first REAL proposal I've written as him. I also can't use the term ship without mentioning @bravesung old OC Alyssa, she was definitely a special one who refused to buy into what people said about him, and after discovering he was supernatural (to a degree) just like her it got them to bonding. She's probably believed in him more than he did in himself when it came down to school because she NEVER let him quit HELL she brought his ass TO school whilst he was still sleeping in bed, picture that in your minds if you will. I got good ships and there's even this unhealthy one right here with my girl @acoldsovereign Maiz, tons of ships starts with curiosity, cute moments and even love at first sight and this one is just violence, one devil often tries to get the other devil to dig into those natural urges and forsake his human heart (that literally isn't even working anymore) and just behave like a demon, there's also acts of public terrorism but he'd punch her right..and she'd kick him wrong, it's a tug and pull with 'em. Bruh this segment is getting long since belovedblossom also has other muses that are shipped with Yusuke too and i have a feelin we'd be here ALL day and I've still got a few to talk about. Just know I love all y'alls muses.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

Nah, I mean if we write and there's a connection then I'd say let 'em go for it. EVEN IF you came to me writing Keiko and you're worried about shipping with me cause you'd think it's forced and i'm obligated to because of the canon then don't. It'd still be cool in my book.

ARE YOU SHIP-OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?

I'm not ship obsessed but I would say it's a fun thing to have cause when you're talkin' to your homies and the muses come u you can talk about the ship, or how a song reminds you of them. Shipping whether it's romantically, platonically or familial, they bring us together as writers and we because better pals cause of it. Cause there's always something to talk about when we wanna forget about that bill we can't pay.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

Let me tell you something about my fandom on tumblr: It hardly exists XDD there's really only a handful of us.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

Simple, we write. If there's chemistry between the muses well then your muse has got themselves a partner. He's by no means an easy person to love but once you've got him you've got someone that'll be there for your muse indefinitely. And if ya wanna discuss the possibility then my DMs are always open..even if i'm terribly slow with 'em.

tagged: @vartouhix

tagging: Y'all gonna have to steal this one homies. Tag me when ya do cause imma read it.

[vartouhix]

SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSES SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S)?

She's an oc, so it's not like I have pre-determined OTPs for her. It's more like, as things progress and chemistry makes itself known, I come to have OTPs for her.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

It's really hard to make me uncomfortable when it comes to fiction, because... you know... it's not real. xD As long as the characters are of age, I'm not really bothered, even if that means a 20-year-old with a 50-year-old. Talking about underage characters is where it does get a little different. For example, Eri and Deku of My Hero Academia. She's 7 and he's 16. If it was an AU set in the future where she's 18 and he's 27, then it's whatever to me. But yeah there are "age brackets" that I feel like are more appropriate. To keep going with this example, for Eri I would say muses the age of 6 to 10 would be okay. For Deku, maybe 14 to 18. It's just not the same, to me.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFT?

I think when you start identifying certain body parts, it needs a tag. Like I could write Jangmi sitting in Satoru's lap, and they're just talking, that's fine to me. Say that in the middle of talking, Satoru grabs her tits over her clothes and starts to play with them to try to get her hot and bothered, even tho he's just carrying on with the conversation like nothing's going on. At that point I would probably move it to my smut blog. If he was touching her waist or thighs or arms (just somewhere more innocuous) I don't think I would, tho.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

Kind of? I'm really bad at just jumping into a ship from the get-go. Like if someone I just followed sent me a DM like "I love your OC!! Let's ship!" I'd probably have to turn them down. I need to see if they have chemistry before I ship. Now to be fair, it doesn't take a whole lot for me to see chemistry. When I was still in the kpop rpc, there was a muse who Vartouhi approached really aggressively because he was wearing her late fiancé's ring. They argued, she threw wine on him, when they went outside to talk privately she threatened him with violence... This was their first interaction, mind you, but after a bit of back-and-forth, I thought enemies-to-lovers would be really interesting for them.

Vartouhi (and Jangmi, given that she is Vartouhi but just with changes to fit a different universe) is very physically affectionate with people she trusts. That's her norm. You can't judge whether I ship her with anyone based on that alone. Actually I talked about this in this post here. But the point is, there has to be something more there than just physical intimacy for me to think to ship with someone. Even with all that I wrote yesterday about Jangmi having had a crush on Suguru, there's still the other half of the equation unaccounted for--how Suguru interacts with her, how he responds to her. So it's not really a wanted ship for me, because I have zero idea how their dynamic would really be, despite my headcanons about her side of things.

Oh, and me sending shippy memes =/= me shipping our muses. It's really just me wanting to send the other person things so they feel appreciated, or testing out if there could be chemistry. Or, of course, just Vartouhi/Jangmi being physically affectionate, as usual for them.

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

Satoru ( @impishsensei ), Nanami ( ofovertime... will be tagging them below so I'm not tagging them here ), Sukuna ( mangher ), and Megumi* ( @shiiikigami ) for Jangmi. For Vartouhi, Yusuke ( thuganomxcs ), Jongin ( @xlusory ), several of @pnxmbra's muses (but especially Maker!) because there was a point where we were trying her with a bunch of her muses, and Hoseok ( @virxle ).

*In her teen verse.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

You don't need to ask for permission for your muse to develop attraction or feelings for mine. It can be one-sided. As for having Vartouhi/Jangmi reciprocate... I mean if you're writing little tells that your muse is attracted to/has feelings for them, I might pick up on it and if I feel the chemistry I'll probably write her as reciprocating anyway. If you haven't put tells in your writing, just shoot me a dm like "I think they have good shipping chemistry! What do you think?"

ARE YOU SHIP-OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?

I wouldn't say ship-obsessed but I do really enjoy ships, and I'm certainly not "ship more-or-less" lol.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

Hmmm... considering I'm rping JJK these days, I'm thinking of that. I think it would be the OT3 of Itafushikugi. They're so cute!! And we get to see more of them than Sashisu, but that one is a very close second. :3

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

We need to find out if there's chemistry. That's the key. So plot with me for threads, give me "what if?" scenarios in dms somewhere (that we can also turn into threads if we like the idea enough), send me lots of starter/drabble/muse reaction memes. Then, if you're not sure whether I ship it or not, just ask! Like I mentioned in my rules somewhere, even if I don't ship it, I'll just be really flattered that you do. :3

tagged by: no one! i was goin' thru my likes and found it hehe :3 tagging: @ofovertime , @limitlessscion , @blastintriumph , @rotinthedark , @mangher , @thuganomxcs , @deathfoed , @ingxnium , @pontevoix , @tunichtgxt , @osoreruna , @cherrygardn , @getsusekaii , @ntzenin , @chikoyama , @usagimen , and you!

[canonically47]

Share the Disventure Camp thoughts Geo. Also, now that you've seen both seasons, what are your All Stars predictions?

oliver was one of the best parts of the season and i loved him so much ohhh the skrunkle

aiden & james were my favorite characters i think! <333 i really liked their development i love gay people i screamed at their first real kiss

it took a while for me to get used to every character because of their mics and acting. some of the acting was not believable at all and was the reason i dislikes some characters for a bit (cough rosa maria cough) before eventually warming up to them. it’s clear they improved a lot and found better actors for season 1. i’m curious how the S2 actors will be in S3.

maggy was genuinely annoying and not just because of her voice. sorry :(

lake was amazing!! i loved her arc!

connor was a good guy and i liked him, but i wouldn’t have brought him back for all-stars and i definitely wouldn’t have paired him with riya. that 21 year age gap is not looking good.

I LOVED HUNTESSALLY SO MUCH OH MY GOD THEY ARE EVERYTHING TO ME POLY REPRESENTATION IN MEDIA IS THE BEST STOP I WILL CRY OMGMGMGMGGM why are they fighting in the S3 opening. someone save me. huntessally stay strong. STAY STRONG!!!!!

WHY IS YUL YELLOW 💀 also i hated his ass “a latina stealing why doesn’t that surprise me” NAH MF YOU CANNOT BE REDEEMED I’M SORRY MAN YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN 💀

anyone wanna talk about how weird some challenges were? no? like making people kiss other people just for a challenge? i know it’s fiction but? what if someone is uncomfortable with it? yk? my aro ass couldn’t watch most of those scenes like ik it was to make some ships kiss and probably appeal to the fans but nah. you lost me brah. and outing aiden (while not specifically saying his name but yk) like. wow. this is. not fun! weird episodes

karol fuck you

riya, thin ice, i like you for your assholery but leaving aiden hanging left ME hanging as a fan of both. sadge

ally should’ve been a scene kid that’s all i came here to say

fuck you yul hope ur the first boot of S3

why was nina there. /vvvneg

now for predictions/wishes:

YUL FIRST BOOT WOOHOO 💯💯💯 /hj

if i don’t get gabellie & tessally alliance i will actually cry myself to sleep for those entire ten months the show will be airing i mean it guys i’m so fucking serious /j

alec and fiore need to make up or i will actually go bonkers and die

yul first boot

trevek do gay shit & krystal breaks them apart every time because they’re so cringe every time they flirt or something not in the high school couple way but just sooo fucking bad at flirting that it is physically damaging to everyone around them

nina dies in a fire YAY!!! WOOHOO!!! PARTY!!! (seriously she was the most annoying gimmick of the season hope she just disappears and its not brought up ever)

maybe. if connor is there. and he gives advice. he can give alec and fiore advice. right. right guys. I MISS MY FATHER-DAUGHTER DUO OKAY WAAAAAAA

jake will be a fucking idiot and hate aiden for NO reason because he is a fucking idiot. love him tho but i was hoping he wouldn’t be as insecure in s3 like girl get a therapist cmon

if i don’t get james-tom friendship.......

miriam early boot 😞 sorry queen 😞 i got this feeling 😞 inside my bones 😞

ashley early boot (pleasepleaseplease WHO ASKED FOR HER TO BE HERE i wanted nick or kai back so bad omfg)

this is more based on a fanart i saw but fiore should totally terrorize aiden and aiden just hates her ass

i want the teams to form then switch a bit so that there’s both s1 and s2 contestants on both teams bc wdym the teams are s1 and s2. thats the worst decision yet and the season hasnt even started

[we-will-be-reun1ted]

i'm glad you liked my thoughts!!^^ I just had another one specifically for the twins communicating one/aether signing.

Basically just, in the scenario Aether is the traveller; The reason he didn't speak with Lumine when he finally saw her again in the We Will Be Reunited Quest™ was because everything before and the current environment was already just leaving him with a constant feeling of dread. But then seeing Lumine be so cold to him and just. Not behaving how she normally would made him feel like something was deeply wrong and it just threw him off very off. (plus the fact that in official art, and even in game cutscenes, Aether is always the less expressive one of the twins but in this quest when he sprinted after Lumi, he ended up being the more expressive one out of the two just makes me wither on the floor in emotional pain)

Meanwhile in the scenario where Lumine is the traveller, i feel like the fact Aether the sunshine boy (as you wrote before) acting like a colder version of her, and then also Actually Speaking even though she was with Dain (someone Aether considered his enemy and therefore wouldn't speak around) made her just feel like something was just Horribly wrong and very much added to her distraught when she realized Aether was leaving her behind. I don't really have a reason she didn't speak here tho, in the game, other than maybe for the first time she was left so emotionally confused and overwhelmed she found herself unintentionally using her brother's preferred form of communication.

Also the fact that in the second Dain quest the traveller said to Paimon that this was the first time the twins were separated just adds to the absolute emotional pain they would've gone through after seeing someone they've been together with for Aeons is willingly choosing to leave/separate

Also partially unrelated but i always get so happy when Hoyo adds things in the game that makes the twins different from one another (Lumine faster attack speed, Aether higher defence stat; Aether faster runner/climber than Lumine; Jeht having a crush on Lumine but not Aether; Variations in speech/behaviour. Stuff like that.)

(Also did you know that "Nara Varuna" is actually the abyss twin? If you play as Aether, Nara Varuna gets called she/her; but when you play with Lumine, Nara Varuna is suddenly he/him. Also the fact the Aranara say "Nara Varuna was a golden Nara just like you". I just think it's nice that at some point in their travels, while the player-twin was asleep, the future-to-be abyss twin went out of their way to help the Aranara)

This is how your sad headcanons are making me feel. You’re hurting me physically, spider.

Aether being less expressive in general yet when he’s faced with the loss of his sister, being the most expressive of the two is making my heart AGGRESSIVELY BREAK

No cause just imagine (going off of your headcanon where he uses sign language often to communicate) he’s been barely talking due to the constant feeling of dread he’s been getting. How wrong everything feels. When out of nowhere he’s met with his sister, the one person he’s been looking for this entire time. The one person he can talk to freely without it feeling uncomfortable at all.

Yet he can’t talk to her. There’s so much he wants to say. He wants to grab her and drag her away from the abyss. Beg her to go home with him. Leave this world.

But he can’t do any of that. He’s stuck in silence. His face being the only thing that can show the utter agony he feels as his sister turns away from him and disappears once again.

IM GONNA LEAVE THE LUMINE ONE FOR NOW CAUSE IVE GOT A POST IN MY DRAFTS GOING INTO HOW LUMINE FELT WHEN HER BROTHER LEFT HER AND THAT FITS IN PERFECTLY but seriously I don’t know how these guys are gonna recover from this.

Okay one thing that really bugs me about the game is how brushed over the travelers feelings about their twin is. All we really get is the Dain story, and then one or two voice lines about looking for their sibling. We don’t get any in depth lore about how much the traveler is going through. Having to save nations while looking for their twin.

Just the fact that Dain says that this is the first time they have been separated proves so much more that they would be taking this awfully. Not just happily going across Teyvat here there and everywhere. They are suffering. Whether in silence or not. They are taking this terribly. I’m going into all this in another post as some point heheh

YEAH I DO LIKE THAT ABOUT THE GAME it makes it feel a lot more personal! I know a lot of people consider Aether and Lumine pretty much the same character but they are genuinely so different from each other. I always get super happy whenever I’m playing and I see a mention of the twin anywhere or see something about them. I only play as Lumine but I really want to make an account with Aether so I can see what it’s like playing as him!

NARA VARUNA IS THE ABYSS TWIN??? Holy SHIT I did not notice that. I’m not gonna lie I’ve pretty much only just started the aranara quest and I’ve not been able to keep up with them. All these stupid names the aranaras really get on my nerves. But wow that’s actually gonna be so much more interesting to play now that I know that! I can get my serotonin fill whenever the twin gets mentioned now 🫶

[lawtistic]

my ranking of mystic messenger main outfits except i know nothing about fashion and have really bad opinions

10; Ray

minor spoilers ahead also i dont know how to work tumblr apparently so the keep reading is going after the first ranking label

i have more to say under this im just currently mentally absent right now

what the fuck is that. what. did he forget what century we are in? i like the magenta on him but girl who let you leave your cell looking like an elizabethan

i prefer ray over saeran but not if hes wearing this because to ellys smelly ass litterbox and back i will burn that ruffled collar if it the last thing i ever do in my life

9; Casual & Deep Story V

why is bro built like a stripper pole??? hes just unnaturally long and its disturbing to a point that i cant not take it into consideration even if this is an outfit ranking

that haircut is not it for you man and get new sunglasses i know why you have them but pick something else theres something off

the outfit is so overwhelmingly basic and void of color and its really a spoiler for how hes blind because he could not have consciously put this together

8; Yoosung

again hes built like a stripper pole but to a much lesser degree

ive always felt uncomfortable looking at yoosung and his big beady eyes. do not get me wrong i love yoosung but i always feel like he knows my sins

those shoes are hideous, get rid of them. get a better haircut because this one does not make me feel any better about him and its so horrenously big that i know his hair is full of secrets

the shirt is fine, i guess, and i like the jacket, i also have nothing to say about the pants. i like the color palette but thats it. i would have ranked it higher if he didnt give me carpal tunnel with a single glance

7; Jumin

i have little to nothing to say about this. its a basic suit

i like the little bit of purple because thats his color and its cool

his legs are oddly skinny and long in comparison to the rest of him tho and its making it to where i want to classify him as built like a stripper pole but its just his legs so i cant

6; Jaehee

same with Jumin but she's less basic due to the accessories and the tights

i fucking live for those tights. those are great tights. people need to talk about her tights.

i have nothing else to say except justice for jaehee kang's tights i love those on her

5; Zen

he was originally switched with jaehee but then i realized hes wearing his own damn logo and i could not ignore that

only he would wear his own logo on his jacket like that and pose in the such a way to flex it the best he possibly could. i didnt even realize he had a logo but hes literally wearing it what

the rest of the outfit is bland and mid but wow hes wearing his own logo

also rat tail

4; Another Story V

he looks physically functional!! wow!!

this is such an upgrade, i love the haircut on him now he looks like a wet dog and its amazing

the outfit is kind of mid but it looks better on him and its still okay i would let him leave the house in this

3; 707

by most standpoints this outfit isnt that fantastic and hes only this high because i said so

its overall kind of basic but i like the hoodie and i love his funky glasses and for some reason cross necklaces make people hotter despite the fact im wiccan

the jeans are so... eh? but you cant really put anything better with this??? im a certified jean hater but i literally cannot think of anything else to put on him instead

also those shoes are fucking horrendous

2; Vanderwood

this is why i have bad opinions because i like leopard print. fight me.

this is such a fancy suit that i have nothing negative to say about it

you can tell hes a whore just by looking at him. i wish he had a route

1; Saeran

ah yes i have one alter in last place and the other in first. this isnt that funny i just think its ironic

"youre biased!!! you dress like this youre so biased!!!" yes i am. i am so biased. why do you think 707 is number 3?

the leather jacket is iconic as well as the black and red combo

the bracelet and??? choker thing??? what is that??? looks very nice on him and i like the tattoo (even if it means something i do not like)

"where is rika?" between my steel knuckles would you like a visit

[moonlightsweatheart]

Chapter 5 - Who are you ?

You may have told your friends that everything was fine, you still felt like hell.

Between the recent death of your cat, your dad loosing his job, your new bad grade and the fact that you were sick for three days straight, you were feeling very tired, physically and mentally.

You needed to feel arms around you, kinds words and gestures that would make you feel loved, and you knew exactly where to go for that.

Rosalyn's house was not far away from yours. Already crying, you gave weaks knocks on the door, hoping that she would be home.

The door opened and you felt relieved for an instant but surprise got all over your face as you realised the person in front of you wasn't your highschool bestfriend.

"Um...You- Who are you ?"

"I could ask you the same. Where is Rosalyn ? I know this is her house. I came here less than a week ago."

"She left with Ajax to buy some snacks. I'm guessing you're that one bestfriend she had from highschool ?"

"That's it."

You stayed in a strange and uncomfortable silence for some time but your eyes started watering again and the guy sighed.

"Pretty sure Rosalyn would beat me up if i don't let you in. Come here."

He let you in and close the door behind you. You follow him into the living room and take a seat in the cough. He stayed in the middle of the room, probably not knowing what to do.

"Why are you crying ?"

"I'm not."

"Yeah, don't think i'm stupid. If you don't want to talk just say it, i couldn't care less."

By the description Rosalyn gave you of her friends, you guessed this one was Kunikuzushi. In any other situation, you would probably have made some effort to get to know him, but right know you didn't care about it.

Your hands were shaking, but you were trying to keep your composure. There was no way this guy would have a good reaction seeing someone he doesn't know crying.

"When did they leave ? Do you think they will be back soon ?"

"I have no idea. Ajax always take hours in the shop so if i was you i wouldnt hope too much from them."

Your heart broke again. You were expecting some comfort from Rosalyn but maybe it would be better to leave her alone ? She was having a nice evening with her friends. The comfort could wait.

"I'm going home."

He looked at you weirdly as you stand up, trying to leave.

But against your will, you suddently broke down crying in the middle of the living room, your whole body shaking as you were trying to get back your breath.

You felt miserable, crying for almost nothing like that in front of a guy who didn't even know you. You wanted nothing more than to dissapeare forever.

"Here."

You felt a hand rubbing your back as another one was handing you a tissue. You take it and dry your tears before blowing your nose.

As you look up, you see his disgusted face as he kept rubbing your back.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm not good at comforting people. Just keep that used tissue away from me."

His face made you laugh a little, calming you down unconsciously.

After awhile, you cleaned your face and threw the tissue in the trash.

You sat down in the cough and the guy did the same.

"By the way, my name is Yn. Thanks for being here, even tho you didn't really had a choice."

"Yeah, i did not have the choice. And i don't really care about your name."

"I was just being polite."

"I don't need other friends."

"Okay. What's your name ?"

He looked at you with confusion and frowned.

"I just said i didn't need any other friends."

"I just want to know your name, i don't want to be your friend. You are insuffurable."

"You don't get to tell me that when i just listened to you cry for an hour."

"Sorry, sorry. So your name ?"

"Kunikuzushi. And shut up now."

"See ? Wasn't hard." you smile at him.

"Sleep and shut up."

He doesn't add anything else and neither do you. You don't even get to see Rosalyn and Ajax before falling asleep in her couch.

Masterlist | Chapter 4 | Chapter 6

Taglist : @linn-a-a @beriiov @raideneiari @orionicchaos

[nickeverdeen]

Hi dear! Could I possibly get a Harry Potter matchup? It would really brighten my day <3 Starting of with the fact that I am bisexual, so you can literally match me w/ anyone and I will be screaming out of happiness, love and excitement haha. I go by she/her.

physical description ~ 5’4, longer blonde hair with green bright eyes, sometimes they do look grey. My skin is pale and my face is clean. I use minimalistic makeup and usually plain clothes with some type of statement piece. Typical jeans, with a black shirt and a blazer is standard if I don’t have anything to wear. Always wearing jewelry. ALWAYS. It makes me feel powerful haha.

personality ~ I am a nineteen years old Slytherin with blonde hair n green eyes. My astrology chart is taurus sun, aries moon and cancer rising. Now days, I am an extroverted introvert? I love being around and talking to people, but I think the fear of others judging me might make my uncomfortable in some situations. My friends describe me as intelligent, which I can agree on partly. I’m like a sponge to new information and I love learning. I have a HUGE ambition. I always find a way to achieve my goals. I have a feeling there’s a chance I’m stone faced in public and people see me as moody and cold. A giant flaw is how much I’m complaining, however, I am doing my best being positive. Though I am a natural pessimist. I brag to much and I can’t stop myself. My MBTI type is INTP. I am loyal and always there for my friends. My humor is SO BAD HAHA. As dry as plain flour. It’s terribly dark as well. Stubborn as hell. Doing my best to be well spoken and look educated to the outside. Overachiever is my first name.

Hobbies/likes ~ Reading and self care mostly. I have a huge interest in psychology, history, true crime and philosophy. I can spend HOURS researching it. Obsession w/ horror movies and scary themed stuff. Always been, always will. I’m a magnet to the darker stuff I guess. Love shopping and as weird as it sounds, studying. I have a dream of traveling to plenty of countries. I enjoy cooking :) Family is so important to me as well as it is a safety in life. Partying is fun.

Love language ~ WORDS. Write a poem to me and I am on the floor. Say the three words “I love you” and I’m on the floor again. Compliments. Love ‘em. Also physical touch 😮‍💨

That’s about is I assume. Have an amazing day or night, where ever you are in this world. Thank you in advance!!

Your Harry Potter match is…

Tom Riddle

Tom is fascinated by your eyes and loves them

He definetly bought you a necklaces

Whistl you love talking to people, he’s just gonna sit in the corner observing them and making sure they don’t make you uncomfortable

Very protective

Assures you that you don’t have to be afraid of others judging you

If someone is and it makes you incomfortable he’s most likely to pull you away and make them pay for it later

Loves your intelligence and that you’re ambitious

“I always find a way to achieve my goals” hell yeah he loves that

Tom personally doesn’t really complain, but he doesn’t think it’s a huge flaw

I mean after all you might achieve what you want sometimes if you’re complaining

Likes to listen to you talking

Tom loves your confidence

Exchanges opinions and theories about unsolved cases and philosophy

If you’re ever scared during a horror movie he’s most likely to hold your hand

Study dates

This boy can’t cook even if it means he’d save his life with it he just CAN’T cook

Even though Tom isn’t really the type of a boy who’d party, he still goes on some parties with you

Tom’s love language is words affirmation and time

Calls you “princess” or “darling”

He doesn’t really say “I love you” every hour, but he’d say it in diffrent words or actions

Just like you said, he might write something to you

It’s probably not gonna be a poem tho

Whistl cuddling he’s either on his back and has your head on his chest or stomach

If you wanna spoon he’s a big spoon

Tom’s a big spoon, always was, always is and forever will be

Teaches you some spells

————————————————————

[willowsrecovery]

26-11-2022

My day:

So I haven’t done this for the last three nights, I’ve had breakdowns before bed every night, and last night was especially bad. I’m doing this in a different order today because I still need to tidy my room and do my night hygiene routine but I came into my room and aster is being all snuggly so I’m spending some time with her first. Today was okay, I woke up at a good time even tho I took a dose of olanzapine that has previously knocked me out, and I actually woke up in time for an appointment that mum thought was later than it was, and thankfully we made it with one minute to spare. It was to learn how to put my new contacts in, and I struggled a bit with getting the left one in but managed not to breakdown in public. I did however have a break down in my bathroom trying to get the left one in again when I put them in to get use to them, for about 10-15 minutes I was trying to get it in following the instructions but it just wouldn’t stay in, eventually I managed to get it to stay in when I pressed in on actually making contact with my eye (I was told not to physically push it in but to hold it just above the eye). Standing for that long caused excruciating pain in my hips, they have been really bad lately, and always swapping which hip is the issue. I also talked to my sister, we’ve been having some problems, she didn’t really share the problem but I’ve been feeling like she’s been cutting me out/shutting me off a lot recently from the way she’s been acting, and it’s really hurt. I was really angry and upset about it last night. But we talked, and I think resolved some things, and I hope things can be better now and we can enjoy our trip to the city in a few days, and hopefully it won’t be uncomfortable. My anger has been getting bad lately, things are pissing me off and frustrating me, and I’m finding myself wanting to yell and scream, which is not something I like to do. I was quite angry and agressive (not at people) last night, and I hated so much and ended up directing that anger and aggression towards myself, which is not great, I’ve started self harming more again since my anger has been getting worse. I lied and didn’t put it on my diary card last time because I didn’t want it to be a big deal with my therapist, but I did it substantially more last night so I don’t think I can get away with not recording it agin.

What I achieved today:

• got up at a good time

• went to my optometrist appointment

• regulated myself in the appointment

• talked to my sister about what’s bothering me

• decided to try and get into reading

• wore my contacts to get used to them

• went for a little walk

• did some drawing to work on my sister’s Christmas present

• will tidy my room

• will do my night hygiene routine

Self validating statement:

Excruciating pain is not normal, and I should respect my bodies boundaries and I don’t need to just toughen up

Shadow work prompt from the 23rd:

Who regularly (or last) belittles and downplays your emotions?

Thankfully that is not a common occurrence in my life, but if it had to be any one it might be my mum, she does do it much, but sometimes she says the wrong thing, or doesn’t see things the way I see it or see what I see happen (all of those things happened last night and were big parts of my breakdown)

i) How does it make you feel?

Really not great, it hurts a lot, like a lot a lot. It caused more distress last night then what I was actually in hospital for and it made everything 10x worse, I felt betrayed, and rejected, and crazy, it made me not want to be near her and I didn’t want to go home

Shadow work prompt for the 24th:

Think about unhealthy relationships you have currently or have had previously, what is the common theme?

Me loving the person, and being willing to overlook the unhealthy things because I don’t want to lose them

i) Why do you think you find yourself in this kind of dynamic?

I used to have a very anxious attachment style, and the second someone showed me a little bit of love I was attached, I was so deprived of care when I was little that anytime I get a smidge of it I cling to it, even to my own destruction

ii) How can you recognise and avoid allowing this type of relationship to develop?

If I get instantly attached, and my mood is dependent on their actions that’s a big red flag and means I need to take a step back and look at things, I also have a deal in place with my sister that if we see anything dodgy in each others friendships/relationships we tell the other person, because we’re aware that in the moment we can both be blind to the red flags

Shadow work prompt for yesterday:

What emotions tend to bring out the worst in you?

Anger

i) why do you think that is?

It turns me into my dad, I am loud and yell a lot, I punch myself or more recently walls (never someone else) I hate being angry and how I become when I’m angry

Shadow work prompt for today:

When have you been self-sabotaging or destructive in your life?

I don’t know if I self sabotage too much, but I can be quite destructive towards my self with self harm when I’m really upset/angry

i) Examine how you were feeling how you were feeling at the time and what triggered the behaviour.

I’ll use last night, so last night I went into overwhelm/a meltdown, and I got agent when my bottle knocked over and I threw it, which scared my mum and then I felt so horrible and dangerous, like I can’t be around people, this lead to being angry at myself and feeling like I’m a bad person which led to self harm. Later at the hospital she said something that really hurt and upset me, and made me very angry and I went back into self harm mode again

Here’s some cute photos of the neighbours pets to lighten the mood

[blackjackkent]

Hector, obv.

Maple leaf / See-no-evil / Masks

And then Rakha, which I know is harder!

Green heart / Shooting star / Crayon

(OC Emoji Asks)

Wheeeee :D

Hector

🍁 MAPLE LEAF - what is their favourite season? why?

I think Hector is a fan of spring. I suspect that winters in the monastery were probably a cold, depressing slog and that, especially when he was younger, it was always a huge relief to come out of it and see plants blooming again. (He's not super outdoorsy - or wasn't before the game adventures at least - but the monastery had a beautiful garden maintained by some of the monks that would blossom into a whole rainbow of colors in the spring.)

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?

This feels like something of a standard answer for Hector at this point but he really doesn't like showing when he is scared - which is a lot of the time once he's out in the real world. He was raised for stoic self-discipline and self-sacrifice and is pretty hard on himself for the (numerous) times that the terrible shit he goes through in-game overwhelms that.

He's also not entirely proud of his late-game tendency to steal all the valuables from jerks in the city and wouldn't necessarily want that on his tombstone even if he Robin-hoods most of the money. XD

🎭 MASKS - do they act differently around certain people? what's different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?

To a certain degree this ties into the previous question - Hec definitely feels more comfortable admitting his fears and lapses in emotional control with people he grows more comfortable with. He can also, frankly, be pretty scary to people who manage to properly piss him off (ref. his intimidation checks on people like Arfur and the lady at the kennels, off the top of my head), but it takes a lot to get him to that point.

The most obvious answer tho is that he shows a lot of himself (emotionally, though also physically I suppose) to Karlach that he doesn't show to anyone else. With her he feels safe in the full range of his emotions - fear, yes, but also a goofy humor and deeply romantic streak that really only comes out with her. <3

Rakha

💚 GREEN HEART - what things make your oc feel comforted? hugs, kisses, food?

Wyll! XD

More generally speaking, Rakha is comforted by answers. She is almost always running at an informational deficit and it almost always makes her uncomfortable and frustrated, so anything that helps build up her picture of the situation around her will help ease that anxiety and make her feel calmer. And ultimately this is how she first started connecting with Wyll, because he is made it clear right from the beginning that he would answer any questions she had and help explain things that confused her.

And at this point now he doesn't even have to say anything bc deep down she feels comforted just knowing he's there.

🌠 SHOOTING STAR - if they could make any wish with no repercussions, what wish would they make?

This is another one that might change as I get deeper into the game. But as of right now - the thing that compels her most (besides answers and violence) is the internal tranquility that she's experienced in fleeting doses from the guardian and Spaw and channeling the Weave with Gale. She's pretty much made it clear that that feels like a drug to her and the possibility of getting it influences her decisions tremendously. So I think her wish would be to have that all the time somehow.

🖍️ CRAYON - what advice would you give to them?

XD Whether Rakha would listen to me about anything is a tossup. But I would probably say something like - "You're not defined by your past. You can choose who you want to be now. Don't let go of your friends; they have qualities worth emulating."

At which point I think Rakha would just grunt and mutter "I know." And she does, really, but deep down she would appreciate being reminded. XD

[ziskandra]

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

twisted palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t people say you'd like but you feel kinda meh about love regardless? (adjusted because most of your favs are fictional villains that Fandom says you shouldn't like)

papyrus: hilariously every song in my spotify on repeat playlist atm is from my meresino playlist. anyway the first that came up when I shuffled was rabbit hole by aviva

i swear I have whole AViVA albums on this playlist oops, listen this flavour of dark pop just works so well for them.

and as for why this song in particular:

I could say I'll take you

I could say I'll make you

But underneath all I plan to do, to do is break you

You could be my breakthrough

Watching demons wait 'til

I leave you, and they can initi-niti-nitiate you

[…]

I will always wait for you

I'll always be waiting

I will always follow you

'Cause you cannot escape me

Need I say more?

twisted palm tree: firstly can I just how much I love how that you had to twist this because loving villains I shouldn’t is basically my entire brand 🥲

It actually took me a while to think of a character that people assume I love that I don’t really have strong feelings about, and in the end the only answer I could come up with is Bellatrix Lestrange from HP (with the caveat that I don’t know how the fandom portrays her bc I don’t seek out content about her).

The reason I usually love villains is that I find them relatable — either because they remind me of the worst parts of myself, or because they remind me of people I’ve encountered irl, and I like deconstructing what makes people capable of such cruelty through the safer space of fiction because it makes me a) less vulnerable to manipulation irl and b) more sympathetic to people who I wouldn’t see eye-to-eye with. I think growing up as a Young Undiagnosed Autistic, I’ve always been mystified by the concept of being cruel on purpose, and I’ve always wanted to understand it more, and the reasons behind it (even if the reason is as simple as ‘maintaining the status quo because the person in power wishes to remain so’)

Anyway, yeah, I don’t find Bellatrix interesting for the same reasons I don’t find Voldemort interesting, but my favourite HP characters nonetheless are pretty revelatory about me: Dolores Umbridge, Rita Skeeter, Petunia Dursley … I am much more interested in analysing the type of cruelty I am more likely to encounter irl!

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