#like it's not super terribly difficult but i am searching things all of the time

[nineoftoads]

im a CAD expert

I'm tasked with designing our little internal 80-20 shelving unit that goes inside our oven and I've never used this stuff before or designed or built basically anything so this is exciting, if a little daunting. but there's an online little CAD program by the 80-20 company itself that can help u draft up your concept. and mine is basically a box frame with some support bits for like, drawer slides... and probably cable management, somehow.

[alpha-window-9]

Okay, my voice designs are complete! I am about to ramble about them.

Some general comments before getting into each individual one; I'm terribly inexperienced at drawing creatures, so while I adore how some artists are making them different birds and I would've loved for them to have actual beaks, I care too much about quality to do that to myself. So I just gave them pointy noses. Don't question the ears. At first I was just going to make them all have different outfits that could be worn by any gender or shape of person, because anyone can play the game, but that got in the way of other ideas I had. So they all have different styles/proportions to make them stand out. At first they had different feather bits, but then I realized how much I liked the cannon Long Quiet's little head bits that look like cat ears, which are already super expressive. So I went with that.

Going in rainbow order, first we have Voice of the Paranoid!

I'm pretty sure his was the first of the group I designed, or at least, he's gone through the least revisions. I went full bug-eyed panic obviously. The eyes also make squinting in suspicion very obvious. While I like the designs that include the vital organs he keeps running, he serves a more general role in other routes. The outfit was the hardest to figure out, but I landed on the baseball tee because it was a bit more distinct, not too childish, but still very casual. Some symbolism I realized later is that you get to the Nightmare route by making choices that are uncomfortably in the middle, and that's reflected by Paranoid's shirt and pant sleeves stopping in the middle of the arm, right in the joint.

Voice of the Skeptic.

This one was the hardest for me. I don't know him too well, and he doesn't have a specific action or attitude to play into. I finally got an idea when I decided against using realistic proportions for a different voice, that Skeptic was perfect for realism, he's all about facts and reality. The glasses came pretty quick, and I decided on the beard because he needs something to stroke in contemplation. He almost had a pipe as well, but I decided against it. The outfit was difficult again, I looked up a lot of references to scholars and various sherlock interpretations, and finally decided on a dark academia style turtleneck and the long coat, which was everywhere in my searches. If you could see both of the little head thingies the other one would be sideways kind of like a quirk eyebrow.

Voice of the Contrarian.

While I adore the jester parallels so many others have made, I wanted to focus on the immature side of him. So he's a little brat with a backwards baseball cap because he's rebellious. I wanted to make sure to incorporate the sympathetic side that shows up later in Stranger.

Voice of the Opportunist.

He's honestly one of my favorite voices, and I think part of that is how he's good with people and social interaction, so I leaned into that side by going for a sleezy business man aesthetic. He also mentions that he likes to travel, so I gave him that excellent shirt. He's on the business casual side because you can't be serious all the time, you need to relate to the people. He doesn't know what the earpiece is for, it's just there.

Voice of the Hero.

Everyone's favorite boy! My main goal with the body type was friend shaped. Cause he's your bud. Went with the classic Link tunic because it's so incredibly hero coded, and the half cape to keep it fresh and friendly. I liked that another design gave him pauldrons to convey an upside down triangle shape, which represents intelligence and change, which I thought fit him very well. But fighting isn't really his thing, so I went with only one, putting the design off balance in a way I really liked. The head thingies came like first try, he's definitely swoopy and dynamic.

Voice of the Hunted.

This one sucked to design because as I said previously, I'm bad at animalistic designs and shapes. My first thought was an Australian Bear Grylls type survivalist with realistic proportions, but it wasn't quite working and I loved everyone else's feral creatures. So I tried. The hair thingies came to me at random, and I like that they look like deer antlers. By this point I had everyone else down and none of them had a top heavy face shape so I tried that for Hunted and I liked how it turned out. I learned in my failed creature designs that a wide neck was important, so I did that. I kept the shark tooth necklace for flare.

Voice of the Cheated.

I got very tall vibes from him for some reason. Maybe because it helps contrast his squinty eyes. For his outfit I went with a "someone who went broke at the casino" vibe. It felt right for everything to be mismatched, uneven, and messy. He's also the only one I gave a tired line.

Voice of the Stubborn.

Of course he had to be buff, also wide things are sturdy. The tank top was the best shirt to show off those muscles, and I feel like the basketball shorts were a necessity for this stereotype. Thick eyebrows because angry. His head thingies are tiny and adorable mostly because I found it a funny contrast. The blue was honestly a bit of an afterthought, I'd already given red to Paranoid, and the orangy colors felt too weird for him. I think the blue works though.

Voice of the Broken.

He's small. I had to go for a hoodie because it's gloomy and also to give cult vibes. The face needed to be big in order for those watery eyes to be prominent, and I felt keeping it in shadow was the easiest way to keep it simple. I had a lot of crazy ideas about unmatched puzzle pieces and wobbly towers that I'm incapable of executing, but I needed some sort of literal expression, so there's that big scar. The little line on the top is supposed to evoke a puppet whose string has been cut. I imagine that the others drag him around by it if they get frustrated.

Voice of the Cold.

It was a bit difficult to figure out his design until I realized that he's the type to do hard drugs if given the opportunity to. Then things clicked. And once I made the connection of black lipstick, everything came together. The head thingies are supposed to look like dreadlocks.

Voice of the Smitten.

I struggled so hard with this. I can not draw handsome people, but I can't have Smitty looking like a dork. The swoopy head thingies were easy enough, but most of the rest didn't look right, or was literally just Roman from Sanders sides. But I got in a chin, and decided to go for the heart body shape and I think it turned out well in the end. I was even able to keep the shirt sleeves and bowtie that I had discarded earlier for being too dorky.

[sojourner-between-worlds]

A Totally Unbiased* Review of Yugioh Decks I've Played

Welcome back to "Posts No One Asked For" with your host -- me! This may or may not be an attempt to get back into anything at all after a solid four weeks of grief beating me with a stick back into depression. *cough* Anyway...

*Disclaimer: I am not a pro in any sense of the word and I can openly admit some (if not all) of these decks could be better built -- especially since I've gotten better at it the longer I've played but finding the right cards decks later is a pain in Master Duel so I will probably never rebuild any of the older ones -- and that contributes. I don't play competitively so this is based entirely on what I, personally, thought of playing them. Also there is no such thing as an unbiased opinion anyway.

1.Red Dragon Archfiend: Okay, yes, the first deck I built was based on Jack's. I was brand new to playing so I wanted a deck I was at least sort of familiar with so I already knew a bit of what I was supposed to do, strategy-wise, so I could figure out the game itself. RDA and Stardust were in the same pack (I think? I went for both at any rate, but this was...years ago at this point) so I went that route and ended up with more RDA-oriented cards so that was the deck I built. I very quickly learned the appeal of a Power Deck strategy and why Jack loved it. Especially considering later support like the (currently banned) King Calamity evolution of RDA. Overall, super fun and easy to pick up combos. Rating lower than maybe it should be simply because I know I could build it better now (if I had the time and patience to dig up the right cards) but still plenty high because even poorly built it still functioned successfully. 8/10

2.Lightsworn+Chaos: Admittedly, I fell in love with this combo with a very old and cringe-y OC I made way back in the day. This was her deck, and I wanted to make it. Except that once I figured out the game, I realized the deck I had made for her originally was terrible, lol. Anyway, this one was far better (though still not great, considering). I've always loved Lightsworns and the risk that comes with milling your own deck. The problem here is, as with many older decks that main-deck high-level monsters, the chance of bricking your opening hand is decently high. In addition to main-decking high-level monsters, there are also two that can only be summoned when milled. So. Yeah. Great deck when you don't brick your opening hand, but there is a decent chance of it. Yet another deck that might have squeaked out a higher score if I took the time to rebuild it, but the cards are buried in my inventory and searching is difficult. 5/10

3.Fortune Ladies: Yeah, I swung right over to building Carly's deck. Can't remember exactly if this was the third deck I built or not, but it's some where in this area. I wanted to love it; I did. And, yes, this is -- again -- a deck that I could probably have built better and would now if I tried to rebuild it, however... It's just Not Good, from a playability stand point. When it works, it works great, but it rarely does. The "ATK being based on level" gimmick is neat in theory, but it results in a lot of low starting stats that make it difficult to keep monsters on the field long enough to benefit from it. You basically have to get lucky enough to cheat out Earth or Dark by alternate means because your lower-level gals aren't going to stick around long enough to use them as tributes (or to be able to deal damage themselves). Sorry, Carly; too unreliable. 2/10

4.Ice Barriers: Sounded fun -- that was the reasoning behind this deck. And it was! A lot of the effects are amazing, and its not a difficult deck to learn by any means. The only downer is that Trishula (9*) is Super Awkward to summon with the other monsters you have available. But then again... you have plenty of others to work with (including the 11* Trish retrain that is ironically easier to summon and that, if destroyed, special summons the original 9*), so it's not all bad by any means. I may not play this one much these days, but it was fun while it lasted. 7/10

5.Weather Painters: The art is so gorgeous on these. Unfortunately, I could never get a handle on them. I blame that a lot on how Master Duel proc's effects, in that it's not always clear what effect it's asking if you want to use. Considering how many effects proc at different times and in different circumstances... its a lot to keep track of, especially when the deck is entirely new to you. So, in trying to learn it, I was constantly using effects I did not want to use because I didn't know what effect the game was asking if I wanted to use. It might be a great, really fun deck, but I will probably never know it. 2/10

6.Time Thieves: The only Xyz deck I have ever and probably will ever build. I hated the Xyz tutorial so much that I swore I would never use them. I only built this deck because I liked the art. It was... better than I expected. Like with the Weather Painters, however, the game has a habit of prompting you to use effects without a way of checking what those effects are before you decide. There are fewer with this deck than with the WPs, however, so it was easier to keep track of as I started to learn the deck, so it was less of an issue this time around. Still, not one I revisit often, though it was interesting to experiment with briefly. 6/10

7.Aroma: Favorite deck to play, hands down. I was overjoyed when I got on a few days ago to find Master Duel had finally added the new support at the beginning of the month (it only took...like, nine months 🙄). I dunno, man, there's just something about having 14k LP and gaining and completely shutting down your opponent because of the combination of those two things. It's a blast. I love it. 10/10

8.Blackwings: Yet another deck I wanted to love but... dang it, there's too much support. I started playing with just one copy of the structure deck which... not great. I knew that from the start but I wanted to get a feel for what cards I might want to use. Didn't work, really. There are so many options I just... never finished building it. What I played, I enjoyed, and the combos are wild. But it was just Too Much to figure out for this girl, haha. 5/10.

9.Dragunity: I wanted a new deck to learn, and at this point I'm starting to run out of synchro-based archetypes that interest me and this one looked interesting enough so I went for it. I still have not really gotten into it, months down the line. I've tried it out a fair bit, but dang it, this is the first deck I've built with synchro-tuners and that has bitten me in the butt more times than it has worked for my benefit, lol. It's a different strategy than I'm used to and I need to keep playing this one to get better at it, but I just. haven't. haha. Given that I've barely begun to learn this one, the rating is probably a little off (one way or the other) from what I would give it if I'd gotten it down, but.... 6/10

[inconsideratekidney]

11/12/24

hey y'all,

how is it hanging? it's hanging well for me. as of rn.

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so many eyes in this world. so many always looking. to think of the psychology of your eyes, they are your information recruits. being a sighted person, you are constantly searching for clues and pieces in your visual field to put together this crazy puzzle we call life. mine seem to work in overdrive and all the time. i am sick of using my eyes. i'd like to take a damn break every so often, but they are always picking up every single aspect of my environment and i can't get them to stop or the bugs yell at me.

if i am comfortable in my environment, i've noticed it calms down, but that can take a while or the right people or environment. it's either the adhd or anxiety or something that makes me act up when there are a lot of people around and it makes me feel like i have to survey the room and take everything in. it's a habit that ruins my way of existing on a populated campus. i love when places aren't full and busy, when i can sit down in a coffee shop almost alone or when there's no one in the bathroom.

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i dont wanna be done with college. i feel like since i'm considering not pursuing my second major anymore, i could have one less year here :( its so funny that all through high school i couldn't wait for it to be over as well. in the process i want to be done with something, but i enjoy the routine. while school is so difficult, i love having roommates and friends right next door. it's crazy to think how much i've taken all of this for granted. i do take notice of everything and i appreciate everything, but now that i'm nearing the end of my 2.5 years here, its kinda wild to think that i only have 1.5 years left. all of a sudden i'm feeling so nostalgic, but just like they did in inside out 2, we gotta push that shit down for now. it's not time yet!!!! oy va voy.

next semester i might get a car and wont have these terribly frigid walks home anymore or complain of the bus system. that is, if i pay for campus parking. i won't have to borrow anyone's car anymore or feel nervy every time i drive because it's the first time i've driven in over a week. it would be kinda nice.

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every time something pops up up my brain, i think about it and it changes my track of focus. normal right? i forget what i was thinking about. consequently, i often forget things later on bc i lost them before even writing them down. this happens all the time and it's pretty typical for me. but what i never understand is that looming fear that i'm always forgetting something like super important. like what if i was supposed to be pursuing some hobby or mindset and i totally forgot about it. i have so many worried thoughts like this that wrack my brain. it's different than the usual "oh i forgot my headphones at home," it's more like "wait, i wanted to be more positive," "i wanted to stop cracking my knuckles," "where did that motivation go that i had an hour ago? i swear i'm into this task i'm doing aren't i?" "when did i say i wanted to finish this by? okay and then i have to really focus on something else, but i wanted to try to hyperfocus on this? no, it was the other thing...what other thing? wait, no. i thought i remembered...i can't tell if it was important or not, it sure feels important. i won't know until something big changes and i'm not ready...oh well." that kind of fear. the kind that i have no idea how to distinguish between losing something physical or leaving something behind at home.

i hate when people say to imagine yourself in a field, or hide your intrusive thoughts or thoughts you don't need to deal with in this vault, that cannot be broken, behind this painting on this wall. like, no i cannot i'm sorry. my brain knows there's no vault, no field. how will my thoughts stay in there? no they won't. i am certain that they will roam free and forget that they were supposed to "be in a box" hell i can't even remember what intrusive thoughts are until they recur constantly and affect me later on anyway, so how could i put them aside now? once they affect me they literally take control of me and i literally cannot get my brain to change its course so i just embrace it. i've had a lot of experience trying to embrace every thought that comes into my mind. i'm curious what other people think on this tbh, but for the most part i truly believe i should own every thought i have. when i have uncomfortable or intrusive thoughts, that's typically when i look up how to get rid of them and people are like, "it's normal, you don't have to acknowledge every thought that passes through your mind." and i'm like, yes. yes, i do. i wish i didn't, but when i ignore them they rise up and eat me alive. so, yeah -_-

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honestly i need to go to sleep, it's too late. i keep going to sleep at 1am and i never used to do that. the existential crises need to stop. i'm losing sleep and fucking up my times i go to sleep. i'm also fucking losing my mind every day from homework and a lack of free will. why can't i get a degree without doing any work, hmmmmmmm?? it's no fair. i want two degrees, but i barely can make enough effort for one. honestly, my whole major is questionable rn. idek why i'm doing what i'm doing. it's all unintelligible gibberish and sillyness in my brain. it's also the headaches that have really been pushing me over the edge lately. i think i'm going to go to sleep now, i'm doing it again. i've been pushing 2am recently, ugh.

goodnight, love y'all,

kD x(

[fieldofdaisiies]

Hey , loved all your writings...Can u please write something about Azriel and reader planning about starting their own little family and the night when they conceive their child ( something smutty ) and the reader finally got pregnant , Azriel taking care and being overprotective and being there for her during birth...ik this is going to take a long but if you're comfortable you can divide this in parts .... plzzzz do consider this one 🥺❤

Of course, thank you so much for requesting. I hope it is fine that I put everything into one story which is a longer one <33

Azriel x Reader | Shadowsinger Baby

type: smut and fluff  warnings: baby making word count: 2773

*all rights reserved*

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"Gods, you’re so beautiful," Azriel groaned against the shell of your ear, breath hot against your skin, lips wet. "My beautiful mate." Your legs curled behind his hips, forcing him deeper inside of you. Gods, he filled you so perfectly—stretched you out but the slight sting was nothing but welcome. 

You moaned loudly, heels pressing into his ass while your nails dig into his broad shoulders. The bed groaned under Azriel’s ministration. 

It was all so good, so wonderful. He was the best male you could have every hoped for and one thing had become clear to you in the past days. You wanted to start a family with him. You knew it was one of his greatest wishes—both his brothers now having children of their own. 

"I love you so much and I think I am ready," you said, voice barely above a whisper. 

Azriel stilled—both inside and outside of you. He held himself up, lips parting slightly, strands of hair toppling over his forehead. The spymaster’s gaze searched yours, eyes starting to glow and his lower lip trembling. "For us to be parents?"

You moved your hips up, urging him to move again. "Yes, I want us to become parents. I want us to start a family.” You grinned at him when your mate finally got back to his senses and pushed into you again—his pace now slow, thrusts long and deep. “But you take the contraceptive tea?” “Stopped yesterday morning,” you breathed, hand twisting into your mate’s hair while pulling his head down yours. You gave him an open-mouthed kiss, moaning into his mouth when Azriel’s hand slid up to knead your right breast. 

“You are perfect.” Azriel smiled and you had hardly ever seen him so terribly happy. Yes, it had been the right decision. 

“I cannot wait to fill you up, watch you belly swell and grow and finally hold our child in my arms. Gods, you will be so beautiful, all round and pregnant,” Azriel drawled and licked from your cleavage up to your neck. You giggled and threw your head back, gasping loudly.

Both of you came with each other’s name on your lips, moaning, growling and groaning. When Azriel finally eased out of you, he made sure to scoop everything back inside—just to be super save it would work out. You had laughed at him, which quickly was cut off by a moan when your mate decided to clean up the very rest of his doing with his tongue and buried his face between your thighs for another twenty minutes. You came undone once again. 

~~~4 months later~~~

Conceiving for fae was difficult. And it would take a long time. Azriel and you both knew that and so you as often as possible tried you very best. 

Azriel suckled on your right nipple, his thumb toying with the bundle of nerves at the apex of your thighs as he took you for the fourth time that night. “A little bit louder, my mate. Want the whole city of Velaris to know who makes you feel that way.” 

You chuckled at your mate’s request, but complied, screaming his name from the top of you lungs. There were only a few things you liked to do with Azriel as much as sleeping with him and with the prospect of creating life it became something even more special and sacred between the two of you. 

Your mate’s thrusts were long and deep, gentle and slow, making you feel every glorious inch of his proud length. It was true what they said—wing span said a lot about other body parts. You kissed Azriel deeply, pouring every ounce of love you felt for him into this moment. 

The spymaster came with a shout, spilling into you and staying inside you for a bit longer. He collapsed on top of you, pampering your skin with soft and damp kisses, chuckling against your skin while his index finger circled your belly button. “Maybe soon we are parents,” he hummed when easing out of your wet heat. 

~~~8 months later~~~

Alright, conceiving was terribly and agonizingly difficult. But you wouldn’t give up, obviously. 

“Maybe it works better —fuck— that way!” Azriel groaned against the skin of your neck, letting you ride him. You bounced on his lap, the tip of his proud length touching that one terribly pleasurable spot inside of you over and over again. That night was different. Things were different, your body felt different. You knew that that night it would happen. You knew that that night you would get pregnant. 

You clawed at his strong shoulders, pelvises meeting with every thrust. You could feel him pulse inside of you, twitch and you knew he was close. 

“Say my name!” Azriel commanded. You bit down on his neck and moaned your mate’s name against his skin. Skin slapped against skin, forgotten were the soft and tender nights were you slowly made love hoping it would get you pregnant. There was nothing soft or gentle that night, you had once again been desperate for each other. You had wanted nothing more than for the other person to claim you. You had barely managed to strip out of all your clothes before Azriel had sheathed himself inside of you. He had been gone for a week, on a mission to the continent— you had to make up for the missed time that night. 

“Fill me up, my mate. Make me pregnant. Put a baby in me!” you said which pushed your mate over the edge. He pulled you with you, pure satisfaction and pleasure crashing into you like a tidal wave. It washed over you, made you feel all numb and tingly. You felt like falling, his hot come filling you to the brim. That night it had worked. That night you would get pregnant, you knew that. You felt it. Slowly you climbed of your mate, falling back to the mattress while blowing out air through your mouth. You wiped your hand over your face, collecting the sweat when Azriel rolled over as well and brushed his hand over your belly. 

“You think it worked?” You dipped your chin, smiling while biting down on your lip. “Yes. Yes, I think so. I think we are soon going to be parents.”

Azriel sat up, eyes trailing over your whole body. And then he smiled, grinned actually. “I can't even tell you how happy you make me. How happy the thought of you being a mother makes me. Or of us being parents.”

You smoothed your hand over his, squeezing tightly and pulling Azriel down to your chest where he stayed for the rest of the night. HIs hand smoothing over your belly, while he softly hummed until you both fell asleep.

The happy message came two weeks later. You had gone to Madja for a routine check and she had told you the happy message. You had actually planned on keeping it a secret from Azriel for a bit and then surprising him with some special announcement, but you were just too excited so you blurted it out the moment you stepped into your shared place.

“It happened! We are going to be parents. I am with child!” You had barely finished your sentence when Azriel came running towards you and scooped you up in his arms. You swirled you around, a sob left him and he pressed you against his chest. 

“Yes?”

His body trembled, the feeling of pride and pure bliss reaching you through the bond. It made you feel warm in every fiber of your body. You couldn’t contain your happiness, tears spilling out of your eyes while you held your mate tightly.

“Yes! We are going to be parents.”

You hugged for another ten minutes before Azriel softly carried you over to the couch and placed you on top of it. He braced your legs on the couch, nestling in between them and shoving your shirt up to your breasts. His fingertips dance over your still flat belly. There was no baby bump yet, but it soon would be here. 

“Our baby is in there. I hope his wings won’t cause you much trouble.”

You furrowed your brows for a moment and then had to chuckle. “I am not worried about wings, Madja assured me it will be fine, but what makes you so sure it will be a body?”

Azriel lifted his gaze from your belly and looked at you with a grin on his lips. “I just have a feeling. It will be a boy, I know that.”

Rolling your eyes you had to laugh again and placed a hand over your mate’s. He kept on stroking your belly, kissing your skin, softly nibbling on it and rambling on about the future. You had hardly ever heard your mate talk that much. He also talked about names that he would like to call the little one. Callum, Adan, Vance and so on. You threw in that it could be a girl as well. Ella, Josie, Frea would names that you would like. You came to the conclusion that it would not at all matter what gender your baby had as long as it was going to be healthy and happy. 

In the weeks and months that followed Azriel hardly ever left your side and when he had to go on a mission he made sure someone was always by your side, keeping you safe and keeping you company. Cassian and Nesta were over, Nesta chatting with you about your pregnancy while the two of you watched your mates build up the baby bed. Gods, Azriel looked more than hot and delicious while building something. His sleeves were rolled up, sweat coating his forehead, his expression so focused and—

“Don’t worry, a few weeks after the baby is here you can go back to your bedroom activities,” Nesta chuckled next to you. She lifted her cup of tea and brought it to her lips. Grinning at you with wicked delight she took a sip. Snorting, you shook your head at your friend. “How the hell did you know what I was thinking about?”

“The scent of your arousal was drowning out the scent of your pregnancy which told me someone was very horny.” You laughed loudly which drew the males attention to you, but when they asked you what it had been about both Nesta and you just laughed again and told them that it wasn’t too important. Once the bed was built up, Cassian and Nesta stayed for dinner and only left later that night. You thanked them for the nice day and the help and waved them goodbye until the disappeared behind the clouds in the sky. 

You quickly decided to throw the trash out before calling it a night. When returning to the kitchen you had actually expected to find your mate there, but Azriel was no where in sight. You went looking for him and found a small light burning in the room that would soon belong to your baby. The door was only a slit open and you peeked inside, seeing your mate lean agains the baby bed. HIs hands were braced on the frame, his lips forming a content smile while a single tears rolled down his cheek. You stepped inside, approaching your mate. Careful of his wings your curled your arms around him from behind, you belly making it a bit difficult for you to be close to him. So Azriel pulled your forward, your back against his chest, his arms sneaking around your body. His shadows danced over your skin, brushing up and down in soothing circles. “You think I deserve this?” Azriel whispered into the dead silence of the room. Your breathing halted for a moment before you brought his hand up to kiss his palm. “There is nothing you deserve more than that, my love. I cannot wait for us to hold our little baby in our arms. For you to be a father.” You felt your mate’s chest rumble behind you, his breath warming the back of your neck and your shoulders. “I love you so much, my mate!”

~~~two months later~~~~

“Come on. One more. Push again. My love, one more push,” Azriel breathed against your damp hair. Azriel had crouched down beside you, being their for the whole labour. Madja examined your centre, telling you she could already see the head and that you had to push a bit harder. Everyone was telling you to push harder, but that was what you were already trying to do. It was more than painful and the part where you had to push out the wings was still about to come. 

"Push!" Madja commanded and you did as told. There yet was another contraction, everything squeezed and everything hurt and ached, but you pushed and screamed. The cry hollowed through the room, leaving your throat burning. Azriel held your hand tightly, his head dropping to your shoulder. He inhaled your scent, a single tear of his falling onto your arm. 

"You can do this, my love. You are so strong. A few more, the head is already out."

Your answer was a mumbled curse, that escaped you through gritted teeth. You squeezed Azriel’s hand so tightly that for second it drained of blood and colour.

With the help of forceps and some assistance and after cutting you open a tiny bit, there was nothing holding back the baby. 

“That’s it, push. Come one, one more. The baby is nearly out,” Azriel cried against your shoulder. Wiping over your head with a wet cloth while pampering your skin with kisses. 

Madja once again inserted the forceps, somehow pushing the wings in. With a loud scream, that tore through bones your head dropped back to the bed. You loudly exhaled and Azriel felt like throwing up. His stomach churned, panic settling into his gut when your chest was heaving rapidly. 

Seeing you in so much pain was the worst kind of torture the spymaster could have imagined. Your feet were braced on the bed and everything between your hips and the tips of your toes was covered in blood. It was beyond Azriel how someone could lose so much blood and still be alive. 

“Get the damn baby out!” you shouted which drew Azriel’s attention back to your face. He leaned over you and kissed your nose. “It is nearly done, my love. Just one more push, come on.”

Once again you did as told. 

You throat burned, your hands fisted the sheets and you cried out. Never had you ever been in so much pain. You knew it was worth it, but still—

You screamed again and the shadowsinger placed his head against your forehead.

“I love you so, so much, my love,” he whispered and brushed his fingers through your damp hair. "Stay with me." 

Tears streamed down his face when he kissed your temple and suddenly there was this shrill and loud noise. 

A baby cried. Azriel lifted his head, looking to Madja who held up a tiny crying bundle. A shout-y sob left Azriel and he kissed your cheek again. 

Madja cradled the tiny baby to her chest and cut through the umbilical cord.

Another shout of happiness ripped itself free from Azriel’s throat. He couldn’t contain his bliss.

“I was right,” Azriel whispered when he sat down on the bed beside you, leaning against you and showing you your child for the first time. You had lost a lot of blood, passed out momentarily and then slept for a time. Azriel had not once left the baby’s side, cradling it to his chest and talking to it about its mother. 

“About what?” you breathed, trying to sit up to finally look at your baby.

Gods!

“It is a boy!” Azriel grinned. Tears fell out of your eyes onto the tiny baby boy. “He is beautiful,” you exclaimed and reached your weak hand forward to brush over the baby’s chubby cheek. Azriel carefully handed over the baby and placed him on your chest. He lay down beside you, pulling the two of you close to his warm chest. “We are complete now. A family,” Azriel mumbled and kissed the top of your head. “I can't tell you how happy I am.”

The tiny baby boy mewled, lips bubbling before burying his cheek in your chest. 

“A family,” you sobbed and cradling your baby tightly and nestling against your mate. This was the start of something new. The start of your family. 

tags: @juulle987 @marimorena06 @danikasthings @younxii @nightcourtwritings @mrofontaine @lunalilyf @whor-3-crux @tired-all-the-time @anni-was-here @ummmmmwat @azbracadabra @j-pendragonx @hollyismentallyillhelp @famousbasementpainter @bsenpai @lena-davina @red-highlady @thesugatoyourtae @azrielsbitxh @cityofidek

[has-gilgamesh-doneanythingwrong]

Kotomine kirei for the ask meme

Hi anon, thank you for the ask! Whoa this is cool. I've never gotten a Kirei request before. This will make for a good challenge as I don't know quite so much about this guy.

Edit: This was so difficult. I am so satisfied with canon Kirei that I haven't got many headcanons for him at all...

Sexuality Headcanon: I have no clue to be honest, though he did attempt a happy(?) marriage with his now deceased wife Claudia Hortensia, had his interesting obsession with Kiritsugu- and whatever spicy shenanigans he had going on with Gilgamesh during the fourth to fifth grail wars.... I cannot determine a clear sexuality headcanon for Kotomine Kirei.

I admit, I did assume he was more on the asexual spectrum when I first saw him in Fate/Zero, but after seeing some more fate stuff I legit have no clue anymore. I feel like there is so many complex nuances to what draws Kirei to certain types that I am not quite sure what his sexuality could be headcanoned as.

Gender Headcanon: I don't have any gender headcanons for Kirei, I feel like Kirei is very much who he is; especially by the dawn of Fate Stay Night in which he seems very comfortable as to how he identifies himself.

A ship: oooh Kotogil that ship is evil men supreme, absolutely hedonistic and sadistic ship where all desires converge and meld together into a thrilling rhapsody of pleasure! ABSOLUTELY LOVE THAT DYNAMIC! Also I ship him with Kiritsugu mainly because I loved their final battle in Fate/Zero, as well as their contrasting ideals. That fight was incredible, one of my favorites of all time. Posts that call Kiritsugu Kirei's 'manic pixie dream bf' make me chuckle so hard because Kirei really was searching for something in that guy, and I feel like in a ship, that would be incredible to explore in further detail.

I don't have many Kirei ships, but I'm open to others as well! Like him and Kariya can be interesting to see just for the multilayered chaos that can be unleashed from such a pairing.

A NOTP: I have a few but mainly because I don't really like the massive age differences that are a feature of some Kirei ships. I think Kirei is a twisted guy. Ah, I also am not a fan of Bazett x Kirei solely because of how exactly their dynamic ended; it was shocking and heartbreaking what happened between them! (I see no issue with people liking Kirei x Bazett though, it's just not for me personally).

A BROTP: I feel like there are many possible exciting BROTP for Kirei, especially with FGO Rasputin now joining the team. Yeah I don't have any specific names in mind, I'm pretty neutral on this front. Would Angra and Kirei become friends? I am very curious about that.

A random headcanon: I don't really have any for Kirei, I am not sure why but I am so content with how he is in canon that I haven't got more to suggest for him. I guess he would love events like the 'geki kara (super spicy) food festival' mainly just to horrify others and cause a massive sense of unease as they watch him suffer over all of the sulfur level hot dishes and then derive pleasure from it.

General Opinion over said character: Kotomine Kirei is INCREDIBLE. What an amazing character. He is evil in nature yet tried so hard to exemplify 'good' and be something that he was not; even being able to understand the ins and outs of the concept of good; as a man with incredible moral understanding yet who packs a nature that juxtaposes so severely with his moral wisdom that he just leaves me SPEECHLESS. And then once Kirei adopts his true self, he truly flourishes (at the cost of everyone else's sense of safety and security). And then they make his magic of a HEALING TYPE and he recites PRAYERS whilst doing fucked up things I mean to me that's one of the coolest character archetypes EVER!!! Kirei is so terrible that he goes right back round to being a top-tier, brilliant character who never ceases to surprise, shock and amaze me.

HE IS ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAV ANTAGONISTS!!! His character arcs, development and personality are just so well written. I feel like Nasu and Takeuchi really popped off when they made this guy.

[chazukekani]

Previous // Next

Recap: Adam met Chuuya and the flags for the first time in the billiards bar. Despite misunderstanding each other, they resolved the misconception and played billiards cohesively.

Albatross was impressed by how skillful Adam was in playing billiards. 'It was all physics and calculations,' answered by Adam. The android once again introduced himself to the crowd, and revealed his favourite things were acorn and grass seed, and things he hated were metal detectors in the airport. His dream is to create an investigation organisation that was solely run by machines because he saw humans irrational hence incapable in carrying detective missions.

Piano Man replied that he still could not trust Adam because he was afraid Adam would leak the information of the Mafia to his own organisation. However, Adam promised that his mission was only about arresting Verlaine, and he would not interfere with anything further. Chuuya disagreed because he thought Adam was lying.

'It is impossible that Verlaine is searching for me,' said Chuuya

'Why?' asked Adam

'Because Paul Verlaine is dead.'

Chuuya recalled the Arahabaki incident one year ago. It was all about Arahabaki, the artificial ability created by the military. In order to get this top secret, Two European spies took on a mission to steal Arahabaki, and they were Arthur Rimbaud and Paul Verlaine. They accomplished their mission perfectly. However, Paul Verlaine suddenly betrayed his partner. He attacked Rimbaud, and took away Arahabaki by himself. The battle between the spies, who were also super ability users, were intense, which they created a scene of battle with mass destruction.

As a result, Rimbaud won and lived, but he lost his partner. As being a super ability user, this battle caught the attention from the military. Rimbaud was chased after by the authority and he had no way out. As Rimbaud was already very weak after the battle with Verlaine, he had no choice but to absorb the ability that he just stole, which was Arahabaki itself. As a result, it became Verlaine's ability - to abilitify humans - he broke the seal of Arahabaki. It was a form of ability that was beyond human capacity, and was as if it were the beast of god. The military tried their best to seal the Arahabaki. Afterwards, a huge black flame burnt everything, regardless of the military, laboratories and all the surroundings. Rimbaud was the only one who survived under the protection of the ability, but he lost his memory in return. Rimbaud then joined the mafia and used 8 years to recover his memory. In order to fully recover, Rimbaud baited Chuuya - the true Arahabaki - to appear, so that Rimbaud could absorb his ability. That's the course behind the Arahabaki incident one year ago.

Rimbaud was then dead, because he lost to Chuuya.

'No, Verlaine was alive,' said Adam. Piano asked for the proof but Adam said he did not want to leak the top secret to anyone apart from Chuuya. Chuuya said that it was fine to brief the information with them all because Chuuya considers the Flags as related personnel. The flags were touched because they were surprised by how Chuuya considered them as his companions. Chuuya wanted to take back his word because he was embarrassed.

'I will follow your order,' Adam took the opportunity and he grabbed Chuuya under his arm as if a piece of parcel, and hopped away from the bar instantly. Adam was holding Chuuya and hopping, flying in between the residence area. 'I also want to be holded like that...' Doc was watching Chuuya leaving with Adam and whispered.

-

-

'Why are you holding me that way!?' Chuuya said furiously. 'You can put me on your back or just take my hand, there are many ways!'

'I am terribly sorry,' Adam said. 'This is the best way to transport you according to your size.'

'Imma beat you ass up! I am still growing!' shouted by Chuuya.

Chuuya used his ability and they were landed in an abandoned Church that was formerly destroyed in the war, and he had a call from Piano Man.

'Are you alright Mr Parcel? Have you got your stuff delivered yet?' Piano Man sounded very happy.

'I am fine,' Chuuya replied.

Piano Man told Chuuya to finish his business ASAP because the boss was asking them to come for a meeting. Chuuya replied and the conversation was over.

Adam proceeded briefing Chuuya what had happened. He showed Chuuya a photo which was taken during the coronation in the St. Paul's Cathedral in London three years ago.

The photograph displayed three collapsed soldiers in the Cathedral whom were murdered. The men brought no sword with them, no blood, no gunshot were found either. Those men were laying on the floor as if fell asleep, but it wasn't, they were all dead.

Adam said that these three soldiers were the close bodyguards of the Queen, and belonged to the Order of the Clock Tower. One of the soldiers once destroyed an organisation in one night, so they were meant to be very powerful and difficult to kill, yet they were all killed by Verlaine. There were no external injuries found, but their bones were broken down to 1228 pieces at the same time. Chuuya was shook because  Adam said it was practically impossible to do so.

The crime scene occurred during the coronation, and it was suspected that the Queen was also the target. Fortunately, the Queen was safe, but the reputation of the Clock Tower was severely damaged.

The Order of the Clock Tower was meant to protect the Royal Family, and their guard is unbreakable because their ability users were on the level of the Transcendents as they could create a subspace, and this was where the Royal Family were. Hence an assassin would be killed back right away if he attempted to assassinate the members of the Royal Family. Therefore, Paul Verlaine almost became the most dangerous man that would threaten world security. That's why Dr. Wollstonecraft sent Adam to take a new approach to investigate this incident, and that new approach is Chuuya. Adam knew Verlaine was searching for Chuuya, so Adam thought it would be efficient to come to Chuuya before Verlaine arrived, and then he could arrest him.

'So basically I am a bait?' asked Chuuya, and Adam admitted.

Chuuya refused to assist because he thought even if Verlaine was going to kill him, he would be able to handle it. He then left Adam because the 'Mail Man' from the Mafia was already waiting for him. Adam didn't let go of Chuuya and kept following him. Mail Man, in general terms, were responsible for sending messages between the Port Mafia, as well as acquiring intelligence for the organisation. The Mail Man was wearing a black hat and sunglasses, which had his face covered. Adam was still chasing after Chuuya.

'Please don't go, Chuuya-san!' shouted Adam.

'Hurry up!' Chuuya went inside the car and told the Mail Man.

'He is Verlaine!' shouted Adam. The Mail Man then accelerated the car and got away from Adam.

-

-

Chuuya tried to punch the man but it was unsuccessful.

'You are lighter than I thought. You should eat more or else brother will be worried,' said Verlaine. A battle broke out inside the car. Under Verlaine's gravity control, Chuuya could not breathe as his lungs almost collapsed, and he was gradually losing his consciousness as blood was deprived from his brain.

'I don't recall having a European brother...' said Chuuya

'You are wrong,' Verlaine replied, 'I am neither an European nor a human. I am just like you.'

'No!' Chuuya struggled with his ability.

Chuuya insisted that he was a human who grew up in a farm by the sea because that's what his friends showed him, but Verlaine rebutted that it was just fake information fabricated by the military. Suddenly, Adam hacked the handle and turned the car left. The car was then crashed with a truck that filled with fuel nearby and created a mass explosion.

'Humans are mistaken for the word 'lonely',' Verlaine said, 'they know nothing about the true form of loneliness. They thought not having a family or a person to chat with means loneliness.'

'The real definition of loneliness,' Verlaine proceeded with his soft and gentle voice as if singing, 'is wandering in the universe and watching the shooting stars alone inside the vacuum under absolute zero. There is zero possibility that you will be founded by anything or approached by anyone. Thousands years passed and you will still hear nothing. Can you comprehend this feeling? No one can, except you, Chuuya.'

'Please come with me, Chuuya,' Verlaine offered his hand to Chuuya. Adam urged Chuuya not to go.

'Indeed, I understand what you mean,' said Chuuya. 'Before I answer you, I wanna ask you something,' Chuuya proceeded.

'I just had a call with Piano Man, and they said that they were told to have a job. Answer me. Where did those five people go?'

Verlaine laughed, 'I assume you don't need your old friends anymore?' Verlaine opened the trunk in his car, and there's something inside with a sloppy sound. Chuuya's eyes zoomed out.

It was Lippmann's corpse.

Chuuya screamed. He lost his control. He kept punching the broken pieces in the surroundings and moaned and shouted. Verlaine grabbed Chuuya's neck, and found a photograph in his pocket and threw it away.

'There's no way I will like you. Absolutely,' Chuuya's voice was shaking.

'That's fine, because you will choose to follow me at last, and now I will now show you the evidence.' Verlaine used his other hand to cover Chuuya's forehead mildly.

Space was shaking, and there was a mass explosion. There were black and red flames appearing in front of Chuuya.

'Let's open 'the door' by a little bit,' said Verlaine.

'High energy with Hawking Radiation detected,' Adam splitted out the words by default. Adam targeted his bullets on Verlaine's eyebrows, eyeball, throat and arm, but Verlaine stopped the bullets and targeted Adam back. Adam was in pain utterly.

At the same time, Chuuya screamed violently as if losing his soul. A hell occured, it's the black flame. It was exactly the same flame that appeared in the Suribachi City. The high energy melted the surroundings, including all the buildings nearby. There was a black sphere, and Chuuya was in the center of it. He was in pain as you can observe his rupture on his skin, the almost-breaking eyeball and the collapsing organs. Such high energy even distorted the time and space in that area.

Yet, there was a person, standing next to Chuuya. A person with black coat and covered his face with bandages.

'Can you please die more neatly?' said Dazai.

Dazai grabbed Chuuya's wrist, and Chuuya had the ability nullified. He gradually lost his consciousness and closed his eyes.

-

-

Chuuya roughly remembered that Dazai carried him on his back and brought him to the billiards bar. When he woke up at the bar, Chuuya sensed something smelly, it's the smell of blood.

He went inside to the bar, and found Piano Man, Ice Man, Albatross and Doc were all dead. The bar was in a mess as if stormed by hurricanes. He saw Doc's body was separated, and couldn't even find his lower part of the body.

Chuuya then found Albatross with a final breath left. He was relieved when Chuuya found him. 'I will be dead soon,' said Albatross, 'Chuuya, take my bike in my garage, it's all yours,' and that's the final word of him.

'I am going to help you,' Chuuya told Adam with determination, 'I am going to find him, but don't arrest. Kill him.'

'Mafia will not forgive anyone who kills my family.' - - Code:01 Ended

[kpopfanfictrash]

Raise the Barre (Ch. 3)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Jimin / Reader

Rating: 18+ (Eventual Smut)

Genre: Enemies to Lovers / Dance Academy!AU

Warnings: descriptions of past bullying 

Word Count: 6,816

Summary: You and Park Jimin have been rivals for as long as you’ve known one another; ever since he tripped you in the front row of your first dance convention. When you graduate from high school and enter Russet Ballet Academy, you tell yourself you’re leaving all past quarrels behind. The main problem with this though, is that your past seems determined not to leave you alone.

Worse still, the obstacles you face while out in the real world might prove more challenging than anything your enemy has to offer.    

It was nearly eleven when you returned to your room later that night, collapsing on your bed in a disgruntled heap. You barely had enough energy to change out of your clothes and shower, though you forced yourself to do so, if only for the sake of appearances.

Noelle was already asleep, so she didn’t have the presence of mind to grill you, but her questions came as soon as you woke up the next morning. Seated at a table in the coffee shop on the corner, you opened your yogurt and spilled your frustrations.

“So, that’s where I am,” you said, shaking your head when you reached the end of the story. “Miss Britt pulled me aside and I need to find someone to tutor me, fast. Fun times.”

“That’s bullshit.” Noelle looked outraged. “You’re clearly one of the best dancers at Russet! It’s why Sabrina has such a problem with you. She knows you’re competition.”

“Thanks,” you said, a bit glum. “But Miss Britt is right – I’m no ballerina. I need more practice if I want to catch up to the rest of class.”

“But you don’t even want to be in Russet’s ballet company! You’re a talented dancer outside of that specific genre.”

“True. But if I can’t make it through freshman year, that doesn’t really matter – does it?”

Noelle fell silent for a moment, not having a response as you sighed.

“It’s not like I expect you to have a solution,” you admitted. Scooping another bite of yogurt from your parfait, you shoved this in your mouth. “It’s my problem to figure out.”

Noelle leaned back. “Maybe you should take Miss Britt’s suggestion,” she said.

You gave Noelle a look of such open disgust, she had to laugh.

“I’m serious!” She grinned, taking a sip of her coffee. “Obviously, Sabrina’s the worst, but you could ask Jimin. Is he really as bad as you say?”

“That all depends,” you mused. “Is Satan as bad as they say?”

“Never met him, so I can’t be sure.”

“Well, I have met Jimin and can definitively say he’s the worst. If I went to him for help, I’d never hear the end of it.”

“Hm.” Noelle sounded skeptical to you; she clearly thought you were exaggerating, but this was one subject on which you were unwilling to budge. “Maybe you can ask someone else, then. An older student? Oo – you could ask Seokjin! He’s so hot.”

Perked up by this idea, you casually stirred your coffee. “You know what, that’s not a bad idea. He’s super talented and clearly knows what the teachers are looking for.”

“See!” Noelle set down her fork. “You have plenty of options.”

“You might be right,” you said with a smile.

Feeling marginally better about the whole situation, you pulled out your phone to search Russet’s website for Seokjin. All the teacher’s assistants had a web page where they offered private lessons, much like Miss Britt and other teachers. Unfortunately for you though, all of Seokjin’s slots were full.

This seemed to be the case with most upperclassmen and you sighed, standing from the table to clear your place. Discouraged by this, you threw your phone in your bag while you left the shop. Noelle began suggesting other students she knew while you walked to class, but you had already begun to fixate on what was probably a terrible idea.

The more you thought about it, the more you realized Miss Britt’s initial suggestion made sense. Sabrina was frustrating, but she knew all the teachers and had the most training of your class in classical ballet. True, you hadn’t gotten off to the best start, but you’d played a part in that, too. The first night you met, you didn’t have to be a dick to her.

Most importantly, you didn’t have the same history with Sabrina that you did with Jimin. Jimin had been your rival since day one – it’d take more than some halfhearted peace offering to make him forget that. Your relationship with Sabrina was new enough you still had hope it could change.

Besides, you already knew she did morning barre on days off from class. Surely, she wouldn’t say no if you asked to tag along. Cheered by this thought – you were the type of person who enjoyed having a plan – you perked up, chatting eagerly with Noelle as you walked to class.

Wednesday ballet was held by Mr. Jordan, the only teacher at Russet who was routinely late to class. Only by five minutes, but you found it remarkable how consistently he hit this deadline. The rest of the class arrived fifteen minutes early regardless – better to be consistently early than to be late the one week Mr. Jordan wasn’t, and be banished to the hall.

You and Noelle entered at 8:50 AM, setting your bags on the ground to stake out your place at the barre. You were midway across the room when you saw Sabrina and paused.

Her pointe shoes were already on, doing slow relevés at the barre in the center. You hesitated only a moment before turning to Noelle.

“I’m going to do barre over there today,” you said, nodding in Sabrina’s direction. “See you after, okay?”

Noelle looked up in alarm, but you had already turned, halfway across the floor. When you reached Sabrina, you set your bag down and took a long sip of water.

Sabrina ignored you, placing one leg on the barre to bend at the waist. You waited a moment for her to rise and when she did not, set your hand on the barre.

“Hey,” you said, waiting for a response.

Sabrina didn’t react.

Moving to stand opposite, you lifted your leg to place beside her own. Stretching an arm overhead, you leaned forward until your face was mere inches away.

“How’s your morning?” you said, trying your best to be pleasant.

Sabrina released a long, slow sigh. 

“Good.”

You waited, but she said nothing more and, feeling kind of stupid, you glanced over your shoulder. Noelle remained at your usual spot by the door. You were momentarily tempted to leave and join her, but then you remembered what Miss Britt had said. You needed a tutor.

You could do this. You had made it to Russet Academy, dammit – asking Sabrina to help couldn’t be more difficult than fifteen years of ballet class.

“Do you have a second?” you said, lowering your voice. “I wanted to ask you something.”

After another long pause, Sabrina raised her head. “What?”

She sounded curious at least, which you supposed was a start. Even if said curiosity didn’t extend to her lowering her leg, or even her voice.

“Uh…” You blinked, your nervousness rising. If Sabrina said no, it would be absolutely humiliating. “I know you’ve been training at Russet longer than most people in our class.”

Sabrina stared. “And?”

You bit down on your lip to keep from saying something you’d regret. Clearly, Sabrina wasn’t going to make this easy on you and again, you wondered if this was a bad idea. You reminded yourself that you’d committed to doing whatever was necessary to keep your spot at Russet.

“I don’t know if you noticed, but ballet isn’t really my dance style.” Ignoring the small smirk she gave, you continued. “I know it’s yours though, so I was wondering if you’d be open to practicing together sometime. You know, maybe you could give me some pointers.”

Sabrina looked at you a long moment, then lowered her leg. Bending lithely at the waist, she grasped her water bottle to take a casual swig. She remained silent the entire time, forcing you to stand there and watch. To stand there and wait while she considered your proposition.

The kernel of humiliation within you grew even further.

Sabrina turned her head. “Do you know what my mom said to me when I told her I wanted to dance professionally?”

You blinked, not having expected this as a response. It wasn’t an actual answer to your question, so you tried not to sound annoyed when you said, “Uh, no.”

Sabrina arched a brow. “She said there wasn’t much room for women at the top.”

“She… huh?”

“Success is a zero-sum game.” Sabrina spoke slowly, as one would to a child. “There are fifteen spots offered at the end of our four-year program. If you get one, that means there’s one less spot for me at the table. Why would I help when it’s to my best interest not to?”

For a moment you could only stare at her, open-mouthed.

“See?” Sabrina set her water bottle down. “You can’t even think of a good reason. Maybe you weren’t a ballerina before, but you were a dancer. You know how competitive this field is, especially for women.”

An uncomfortable feeling spread through you. Sabrina’s words were remarkably similar to what you had said to Jimin but still, you hated hearing them thrown back in your face.

“You don’t think this is all a little… juvenile?” you said, a last-ditch effort to salvage the situation. “This isn’t high school anymore, Sabrina. We’ve all made it.”

“Yeah – to Russet,” she said, point blank. “This is barely the start if you want to dance professionally, Y/N. It’s nothing against you personally, if that makes you feel any better.”

“Oh, good. As long as it’s not personal.”

Sabrina smirked. “Well, maybe it’s a little personal. Like I said to you yesterday, I really wouldn’t mind having Jimin for a partner. If you got kicked out, that would solve things, wouldn’t it?”

Teeth gritted, you stopped the next words from leaving your mouth. They hung on the tip of your tongue, stillborn while you pointedly shoved them back down. If you said anything more to her, you might seriously regret it and Sabrina wasn’t worth that kind of stress to you now.

Turning around, you bent to pick up your bag – only to stop as Mr. Jordan entered the room.

“Sorry I’m late, class!” he said, shaking free from his jacket. “Subway was a nightmare. Anyways, I’m here now, so let’s start.”

Realizing you were stuck, you slowly turned back around. It seemed your place at the barre had been decided. Sabrina hid her smile when you took a step closer, placing one hand on the barre and lifting your chin in the air.

It had been silly to ask Sabrina for help. You apparently expected too much from someone so utterly determined to rise alone to the top. You could only assume that kind of attitude would one day rise to bite her in the ass but until then, you just had to grin and bear it.

Even more irksome was the fact that she’d said so many of the same things you’d told Jimin. Pushing this uncomfortable thought aside, you forced yourself to concentrate on the combination Mr. Jordan began.

The entire length of the barre, you avoided eye contact with Sabrina. It was a difficult feat, but you managed it because you had no other choice. Throughout tendus, dégagés and rond de jambes, you sucked it up and stood next to Sabrina in glowering silence.

You were so concentrated, the time at the barre seemed to go by faster than usual. The first time you glanced at the clock was when Mr. Jordan stopped to call for a water break.

Bending abruptly, you grabbed the straps of your bag and said nothing to Sabrina while you walked away. Setting your stuff by near Noelle, you straightened and began to furiously unscrew your cap. She gave you a sympathetic look while you did this, reaching overhead to studiously re-do her bun.

“That bad, huh?” she said.

Furious, you scowled. “She’s an asshole.”

Noelle’s brows shot straight up. “Damn,” she whistled. “What’d the ice queen say?”

“That she hopes I drop out,” you said shortly, turning around. “That there’s only so much room for women at the top. She told me dance is a zero-sum game and if she helps me get a spot at Russet Company, it’d be one less spot for her to take.”

Noelle made a disappointed noise with her tongue. “See,” she said, around a mouthful of bobby pins. “That’s exactly the kind of attitude that’s kept women down for centuries. Let’s ban together to burn the men!”

Although you laughed a little, you quieted quickly. Remembering your conversation with Sabrina made your legs a bit shaky. Shutting your eyes, you took several deep breaths until you felt calmer.

“I know,” you said with a sigh. “I know that it’s stupid and ultimately, I don’t care what Sabrina thinks – but she just makes me so mad.”

“She really said she hopes you drop out?”

Opening your eyes, you nodded. “Apparently, she wants Jimin as her ballet partner.”

“W-ow.” Noelle shook her head. “This plot has more twists than the Winchester mansion.”

Unable to help it, you snorted. “Oh, well,” you said glumly, following Noelle out on the floor. “It’s probably for the best. If this is how she reacts to me asking for help, imagine how awful she’d be as an instructor.”

“Yeah, you definitely dodged a bullet there,” Noelle agreed.

When Mr. Jordan cleared his throat, this led to a scurrying of movement as everyone took their places. He began to show the combination, leading the class through the steps with an easy poise. When the time came for you to break into pairs, you were forced to look around the room before you spotted Jimin.

He stood on the opposite side from you, practicing the steps Mr. Jordan had laid out. You blinked, hesitating a moment before crossing the room to his side. Every time before now, he had come to stand beside you.

Coming to a stop, you looked at him curiously. “Why’re you over here?”

Jimin shrugged in response.

You opened your mouth to continue, but then Mr. Jordan began the partner portion of the combo. Falling silent, you stood beside Jimin while you learned the steps. He was oddly quiet. This quietness alone wasn’t enough to raise any brows, though you typically exchanged at least minimal small talk. You know, hand here, leg there, lift your arms higher – that type of thing.

His silence wasn’t the only thing about him that was odd, though. His grip on your waist felt different today – rough, almost angry as you practiced the first lift. You winced when you landed, stumbling a bit as you whirled around.

“What was that?” you demanded.

Jimin blinked innocently. “What was what?”

You stared at him a moment before deciding it wasn’t worth it. “Whatever,” you said, turning around. “Gentler, next time – okay?”

“Sure.”

Jimin moved back into place, standing in fifth position while Mr. Jordan started the song over. The combination wasn’t an adagio, comprised of slower movements, but a fast-paced pas de deux he’d created last week. You didn’t have much experience with this kind of partnering; most of your classes had preferred slower movements so far.

The fast pace required a higher level of trust with your partner, since you didn’t have time to second-guess all their movements. Apparently, Mr. Jordan had decided the fastest way to learn was to do. Jimin led you through the combination, one hand firm on your waist.

Normally, Jimin was a solid male partner to you. He knew when to push, when to hold back and when to allow you to take the lead. This no longer seemed to be the case. As you started to dance, you found yourself a bit dizzy. Jimin didn’t let you finish each spot before he whisked you around, keeping you – both literally and metaphorically – on your toes.

A swear nearly escaped when he pulled you to his chest – eyes flashing, you turned and started to boureé away. Jimin chassed forward, ending in a lunge for circular port de bras.

“You’re doing it again,” you muttered, moving behind him.

Facing forward, you piqued into arabesque.

“Doing what?” he said blithely.

Jimin twisted, grasping your hand in his as he crossed behind. Placing one hand on your hip, he waited for you to wrap your leg around him in attitude arabesque.

“You know what,” you hissed, as he walked you in a promenade.

Extending your leg fully, you lowered yourself in a penché. Contrary to their appearance, penchés were difficult to do with a partner. It involved an extension to arabesque, then bending with said leg held at a ninety-degree angle, or higher. The male helped with the motion, but his addition altered both your centers of gravity. It might have seemed logical for him to stand behind you, but he actually needed to stand slightly off center. It was easy for one – or both – of you to lose your balance.

You and Jimin had practiced the move enough that it’d become second nature – which is why you began to panic when you felt Jimin’s weight shift.

“Jimin,” you whispered, clenching your abs. “Step back!”

“Step back?” he said innocently, not moving at all.

“Yes! Jimin, you –”

He languidly stepped into the correct position, helping you up a second before you toppled over. You spun, eyes blazing and Jimin caught your knee. The smile he gave you sent rage through your veins, since it was instantly apparent he’d been fucking with you.

You imagined those cartoons where the main character’s head exploded, or became a volcano, or turned into a tea kettle that had steam escaping. This was exactly how you felt, but there was no time to respond, since the next portion of the combination was fast and required intense concentration. Shooting Jimin a glare which promised him a painful death, you continued.

Luckily, barre had been long, so only one combination remained until you were released from class. You contained your annoyance until class had ended, turned to stalk across the room the second Mr. Jordan turned off the music.

Noelle chuckled when she saw, noticing your clear annoyance. “Oh, no,” she said, glancing across the room. “What’d he do now?”

“Oh, nothing,” you seethed, tossing things in your bag. Yanking out sweatpants, you tugged these over your leotard. “Nothing a little conversation won’t fix.”

Knowingly, Noelle nodded. “Is ‘conversation’ code for beating Jimin up in the parking lot?”

Despite yourself, you laughed, slinging your bag over your shoulder. “Unfortunately not,” you said with a sigh as you walked from the room. “This’ll be a lot less fun.”

You came to a stop in the hall, some of your anger diminishing. A current of annoyance simmered beneath the surface though, since it was one thing for Jimin just not to like you – it was another entirely that he purposefully antagonize and jeopardize your career. This was exactly what you’d been worried about when you’d been assigned as partners.

“Well.” Noelle glanced at the room. “Did you want to get dinner tonight? You know, after you’re done tearing Jimin a new one.”

“Dinner sounds good,” you agreed. “I’m hanging out with Finn later, but I’m free before then.”

Noelle nodded sagely. “Good, good. I hear it’s healthy to fuel up before a massive sex marathon.”

Jimin – who’d been exiting the room – stopped short.

“Uh – what?” he said, glancing between you.

Waggling her fingers goodbye, Noelle shrugged and walked past. “Nothing for you to worry about. Good luck walking later, Park!”

Jimin stared at her as she left, completely bewildered until you grabbed him by the elbow and started dragging him away. He stumbled forward, not having expected the motion – but caught up to you fast as he tugged his arm free.

“Hey! Whoa, Y/N – what’re you doing?”

You whirled to face him in the hall.

“What was that?” you demanded.

Jimin blinked at you, uncertain. “Uh, let’s see. I was minding my own business and you just assaulted me –”

“During class,” you interrupted, gesturing at the classroom. “You had such an attitude today. You can’t even say it wasn’t purposeful, because –”

“Y/N.” Jimin stared in disbelief. “Are you seriously asking me what’s wrong? Your memory can’t be that short.”

Faltering a bit, you came to a stop. Jimin’s expression told you you were missing something big. It was last night, you realized. Jimin was mad about last night, when he’d chased you down the hall and you’d basically told him to fuck off.

“Ah,” Jimin said, seeing your understanding dawn. “I take it you remember now. That time you ambushed me in the hall and said I don’t deserve to be here?”

“That’s… that’s not what I meant by that.”

“Oh?” His laugh sounded forced. “You told me I only worked half as hard as you did.”

“Well, because you do!” you sputtered.

The words escaped despite your intent to stay cordial. Jimin was right; you had exploded last night and some of that wasn’t his fault, but the core of what you’d told him remained. Guys did have an easier time than girls in the dance world. That was just a fact.

“Come on, Y/N.” Angrily, Jimin shoved a hand through his hair. “You seriously think that I’ve had it easy? I used to hide my dance stuff in a hockey bag because all the kids at my school teased me about wearing tights.”

Somewhat uncomfortably, you recalled what Finn had said the other night at dinner. Jimin wasn’t wrong about external prejudices regarding male dancers.

“I’m not saying you weren’t teased, Jimin.”

“Teased?” He stared at you in disbelief. “Y/N. I was beat up every day on the playground for the entirety of third grade. When I was eleven, some kids filled my locker with used tampons because I was a ‘pussy.’ Freshman year, I asked a girl to the dance and she said yes – only to stand me up the night of because her friends thought it’d be funny. I once went to ballet class in bare feet for a week because some assholes stole my bag and hid it in the women’s locker room. My life was shit half the time, Y/N,” he said, with sudden vehemence. “The only reason I kept going was because I love dance more than anything else.”

Jimin stopped talking, slightly out of breath and you stared at him in shock, never having heard him this angry before.

You’d thought that you had. You’d thought he’d been angry all those times you beat him in dance, but you had never seen Jimin looking anything like this. Hurt, a little broken and fiercely determined.

In some ways, it felt like the first time you’d seen him.

“Yeah, well…” You paused, trying to gather your thoughts. “I don’t know what to say to that. That sucks.”

Jimin laughed, a bit hollow. “Yeah, sure,” he muttered, glancing away. “Fuck. I didn’t want to… make you feel bad, or whatever. That’s not why I said it. I just wanted you to know I’ve also overcome stuff to be here.”

Hearing him speak, you both bristled and wondered why he said it like that. Like he wanted you specifically to know and not someone else.

“I’m not saying you haven’t worked hard,” you admitted. “That sucks, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that there are ten female dancers for every one guy. Dance is a lot more competitive for women than men.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t also worked my ass off.”

“No one’s saying you didn’t,” you snapped, finally fed up. “I’m just saying more doors were opened for the effort you gave than for mine. And besides,” you added, unable to help yourself. “I’m sure it was real hard, coming from Harleigh Heights.”

Jimin seemed baffled by this. “What does my hometown have anything to do with this?”

“Oh, come on, Jimin. You can’t be that naïve.”

“What’re you talking about?”

“You’re rich!” you blurted. “Or at least, your family is. You could afford all those fancy master classes in the city. You had private lessons, small group lessons and whatever else your parents’ money could buy. All I had was Rita’s Dance Studio.”

Jimin hesitated. “Rita’s isn’t… bad.”

“Jimin,” you said. “I was the only person from my studio to ever place at national dance competitions.”

“That doesn’t mean the studio itself was bad!”

“You have a fucking car in the city!”

He gave you a bewildered look. “What does… that have to do with anything?”

“It’s just another reason we’re different,” you groaned, rubbing your temple. “I know you work hard. I know you do, but you’ve also had way more advantages than I have and sometimes, that sucks.”

Jimin paused. “That’s not really something I can control.”

“It’s not,” you admitted through gritted teeth. Deciding you were done with this conversation, you moved to walk past. “It isn’t your fault, but the challenges we’ve faced aren’t the same and you know it.”

Before you could leave, Jimin grabbed your arm.

He turned you to face him, barely an inch from his face. Everyone always said Jimin reminded them of a puppy – cute, loveable, and eager to please. This had never been something you agreed with. Sure, Jimin could be cute when he wanted to be, but beneath that lay a deeper hunger, an insistent desire to prove himself in a way you found all too relatable.

Jimin held your gaze. “Seeing as you’ve never walked in my shoes and I’ve never walked in yours,” he said quietly. “Why don’t we stop making comparisons?”

Your gaze narrowed a bit, but before you could respond, he continued.

“If you’re having trouble keeping up, stop making excuses and ask someone for help.” Abruptly, he dropped your arm. “Otherwise, you’ll never improve.”

Jimin left without another word, jerking his bag higher as he stalked down the hall. You watched him go, too stunned to do anything else.

His last words – however accurate – made your ears burn. Hands curled into fists, you saw red for awhile, until Jimin had gone. After several deep breaths, you finally calmed down enough to be objective.

Unfortunately, objectivity was not in your favor, because Jimin was right.

He was right about you and you hated that fact. Even if your circumstances had been different, all that had changed when you both were accepted to Russet. Now, you were on a level playing field and you were the one person hanging on to what came before. The only thing that mattered now was what happened next; if you couldn’t compete at Russet, you’d be pulled from the game.

And the one person standing in the way of success was yourself.

Jimin had nothing to do with your lack of ballet technique. Sure, he had more money than you did – seriously, who brought a car to the city? – but it wasn’t like you’d been destitute. Your parents had made enough to afford all your lessons and costumes and dance competition fees. You’d had a studio, even if it wasn’t a fancy one within city boundaries.

Exhaling, you considered the other point he had made. While it was true male dancers had certain advantages, Jimin was damn good despite this. If you were being honest, you knew he was one of the best dancers at Russet regardless of gender.

Nearly ten minutes had passed before you began to walk down the hall. Everyone else had left for lunch, so it was just you and your thoughts as you exited the building. You felt exhausted, only partly because of the intensity of Mr. Jordan’s class.

You’d always been a planner. It was something your parents had teased you about but secretly, you’d always enjoyed. Here though, you felt at a loss.

For the first time in your life, you were forced to consider what would happen if you gave dance everything you had – if you tried everything you could think of – and still came up short. Everyone always said if you loved something, keep trying and you’d eventually succeed, but you’d seen enough by now to know this wasn’t necessarily true.

Everyone at Russet was talented. Everyone here was a hard worker. You didn’t make it this far without both of those things – which meant you could have it all and still fail.

Coming to a stop on the sidewalk, you released a sigh. It was mid-September and already, the leaves had begun to change. You’d been at Russet for nearly a month and felt you’d yet to make any real progress.

Pushing this thought away, you wondered what you’d do with your life if you got kicked out. Go to a college near home, maybe. Find another career path that’d be mildly fulfilling and yet, nowhere near the release you experience through dance. The idea of it made you feel somewhat ill.

All you’d ever wanted in life was to dance. On some level, you’d thought things would be easier once you got into Russet. This had been a naïve expectation; you saw that now. Lift and the struggles which came with it refused to stop for even a second. Again, your former dance teacher’s words came to mind. If dance wasn’t truly what you wanted, it was better to give up than to go through the struggle.

You did want it, though.

Even if you had to go through hell to get it, dance was the thing which made you feel alive. If you didn’t make it at Russet, you could figure out what to do next – but until that moment came, you’d do absolutely everything necessary to make sure you stayed.

In the back of your mind, a voice whispered – even ask Jimin for help? – but you ignored it. That question could wait for another day, you decided as you walked away.

Even though he’d made some valid points, everything else still made you see red. The more you thought about it though, the more persistently his words seemed to grind away your resolve. Jimin may have been pissed at you, but he was also correct.

You could either continue to walk around campus feeling sorry for yourself, or you could improve.

Teeth gritted, you decided to do the latter.

Lounged at the foot of Finn’s bed, you scrolled through your TikTok in an endless loop.

“Ugh, my muscles are so sore,” you complained. Reaching out your foot, you poked him with your toe. “Massage them for me.”

“All of them?”

“Uh-huh.”

Grabbing your foot, Finn pulled this into his lap. To his credit, he started to give – well, not a massage, but he did something. Finn began poking the bottom of your foot with his index fingers until you finally laughed.

“Okay, not that!” you grumbled, pulling your leg back.

Finn grinned and turned a page in his book while you let your gaze linger. He looked good, dressed in sweats and a t-shirt he’d pulled on after sex. It was the first time all week you’d been truly alone; things had gone faster than usual, but that was to be expected. It had been awhile since the last time. It was nice just to see him, to touch him and talk to him – you’d missed having a semblance of normalcy in your life.

Innocently, Finn flipped the next page in his book. “What’s wrong? You didn’t enjoy the pleasure of my touch?”

“I did not, no.”

Tossing his book aside, Finn bared his teeth and began to crawl forward. With a shriek, you backed away until your spine hit the wall and you laughed.

“No,” you begged, kicking his shin as you grinned. “No tickling!”

Finn growled mercilessly, but eventually relented. Twisting, he dropped to lay his head in your lap.

“Okay,” he agreed. “I’ll just hang out here, then. My book is so far away. I guess I can’t study. Too bad.”

Although you rolled your eyes, you leaned your head to the wall. Finn’s roommate was gone for the weekend, giving you the entire place to yourselves. You knew you’d have to leave at some point – ballet class started tomorrow at 8:30 AM – but until then, you could happily live in denial.

“Don’t you have homework to do?” you asked. “Tests? Something?”

Finn shrugged. “I already studied today.”

A twinge of jealousy went through you, although you squashed this immediately. Finn’s collegiate experience was different from yours, but this was through no fault of his own. 

You’d arrived at his dorm room shortly after dinner and, after unloading the crappy events of your day, Finn had merely shrugged and said his day had been fine. It seemed Finn was adapting to Redfield like a fish to water; nearly everyone you passed on your way to his room had stuck their head out to greet him.

On your way over, you’d considered asking Finn for advice about Jimin, but had given up on the idea soon after arrival. Visiting Finn was like stepping into a bubble. You knew the vision would pop as soon as you stepped outside, but it was nice to exist outside the worries of Russet.

Finn wouldn’t understand what you were going through either, which again, wasn’t his fault. His greatest stress was an upcoming test, while you were constantly on edge about whether you’d fail. There were no grades in your classes, no real way to tell if you were passing.

The most difficult part of Finn’s freshman year had been registering for his classes; a fact which cast your experience in stark perspective. If Finn dropped a class or had to miss a test, it didn’t really matter for him in the long run. It mattered for you.

Every time you’d previously mentioned Jimin to Finn, his advice had been to simply ignore him. It wasn’t the best advice, all things considered. Jimin was your assigned dance partner for the semester; you needed him in order to pass your classes.

It helped some to vent, but at the end of the day, you didn’t want Finn trying to fix things for you. That was what he did – he solved things. He loved to fix other people’s problems, loved to tie up loose ends and find neat solutions. The problem was though, you weren’t sure such easy answers existed.

Before you could suggest a movie to watch, someone knocked on the door to Finn’s dorm room.

Lifting his head from your stomach, Finn called, “Enter!”

The door swung open to reveal a tall, gangly-looking freshman in the hall. He looked at you with some surprise before glancing at Finn.

“Dude,” he said, sounding excited. “Sigma Nu is having a crazy party two blocks away. Ellie just texted saying there’s no cover for guys. A bunch of us are heading over – you in?”

“What – seriously?” Finn sat up straight. “No cover? That’s a first.”

He beamed and glanced at you, so you gave a small smile.

“It is?” you said tentatively.

Your words sounded uncertain even to your own ears, but Finn nodded excitedly. You hadn’t been out enough times this semester to notice.

“Coming!” door guy yelled to someone in the hall. Stepping back, he returned to the room. “So, you in?”

Your automatic reaction was no, since it was a Wednesday and you had class tomorrow, but before you could speak, Finn hopped from the bed.

“Sure!” he agreed, searching for his coat. “Y/N – you good with that?”

Hesitating, you fiddled with a corner of his blanket. Ideally, you’d love going to a weekday party with your boyfriend. Finn’s enthusiasm could be contagious, and you wanted to see him in his collegiate environment. He’d been the life of the party at high school and you knew it’d be the same here.

Unfortunately for you, ballet class wasn’t something you could just forget. You’d made it a personal rule not to drink before class and it would be no fun to attend a frat party sober. You were already skating on thin ice at Russet; you could only imagine what would happen if you showed up to class hungover.

“I don’t think I can,” you said softly, wishing the guy would leave Finn’s room. “I have ballet in the morning. Remember?”

“Oh.” Finn’s disappointment showed for only a moment. Hiding this swiftly, he sat back down on the bed. “Sorry, Ben,” he said, forcing a smile. “I think we’re staying in.”

Door guy – Ben, apparently – paused. “You sure?”

“Yeah.” Finn nodded. “Y/N and I already have plans.”

Ben seemed confused; you assumed from this that he wasn’t the brightest bulb in the bunch. 

“Really?” he said with a frown. “I thought you said you wanted to come.”

“It’s my fault,” you interjected, feeling a bit guilty. “I have class super early in the morning.”

“Oh, is that all?” He brightened. “That’s no big deal – so do I!”

Your lips tightened, not wanting to be rude, but this guy just wasn’t getting it.

“Yeah,” you said slowly. “But I can’t be hungover for mine.”

Ben stared. “Huh. Okay, well – if you change your mind. So weird,” he laughed, exiting Finn’s room to the hall. “I didn’t even know you had a girlfriend, Finn? Later!”

Pulling the door shut, he left the two of you in silence.

You stared in shock at the door, attempting to process everything you were feeling.

There was guilt at keeping Finn from something he wanted to do. Longing, from not being able to do the fun things that you wanted. And nausea, at hearing Ben say he didn’t know Finn had a girlfriend.

Hesitant, you glanced in Finn’s direction, but found him looking away – at the ceiling, at the floor, anywhere but at you.

“So…” You paused. “What was that about?”

“What do you mean?” Finn leaned back on the bed. Turning on his TV, he navigated to Netflix. “Want to watch a movie, or something?”

“I guess.”

You continued to sit there, clutching his blanket and staring blankly at the screen. After another moment, you decided this couldn’t be brushed aside and faced him on the bed.

“Why haven’t you told anyone you have a girlfriend?” 

Finn looked at you, surprised. “I have!”

“Oh?” you said, glancing at the door. “Then, why didn’t he know?”

Finn snorted. “Ben? Look – I like him, but the dude’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. As you may have noticed,” he added, giving a pointed brow raise.

Begrudgingly, you nodded. You had noticed.

“Hey.” Finn sat up straight. Clicking off the TV, he scooted closer on the bed. “I swear I’ve told people about you,” he said, taking your hands. “Promise. Ben is just an idiot. The instant someone is off-limits to them, they turn invisible. He’s probably even forgotten his sister by now.”

“Gross,” you said, wrinkling your nose.

Finn nodded in agreement. “Exactly. Ben’s an ass. I wouldn’t even hang out with him if it weren’t for the other guys on the floor. College. You know how it is.”

“Sure,” you said slowly, although you really didn’t.

There were multiple people on your floor and at Russet whom you didn’t like. You weren’t unfriendly to them, of course – with Sabrina being the exception – but neither did you hang out with them just because you were classmates. This entire world of collegialism was foreign to you.

“I love you,” Finn said.

Finally, you cracked a smile. “Love you, too.” Sliding both arms around his waist, you settled down on his chest. “Sucks about Ben being a dick, though.”

Finn laughed, brushing a kiss to your hair. “I think I’ll survive.”

You shook your head, knowing he was right. Finn always got through things like this; troubles seemed to easily roll off his back like water. You watched him turn on the TV and choose a comedy on Netflix. 

When the first scene began, you tried hard to relax, but this proved to be difficult. In high school, you’d been able to compartmentalize fairly easily but now, you found worries steadily leaking back in. Your Finn-bubble, the one which had always been so impenetrable, had started to become porous.

Worries about Russet, about your classes, about your teachers began to seep in and no longer did Finn’s dorm room seem like such a haven.

You didn’t belong here.

The thought occurred to you suddenly, as obvious as knowing the main characters on screen would eventually get together. Finn’s world was entirely different from yours, completely alien from Russet and you had no idea how to navigate the two worlds together.

It made you uneasy to consider, seated with your head on his shoulder and arms around his waist, but instead of facing this knowledge head-on, you pushed it away.

Too many things were being kept in your mind-boxes and, instead of disappearing, the thought continued to linger. It followed as you left Finn’s dorm, walked through the city streets, up the steps of Grace Hall and all the way to your bed.

Author’s Note: Thank you for reading 😊 New chapters of Raise the Barre will be posted weekly; dates are listed on the series Master List. Requests for updates will be deleted.

[ RAISE THE BARRE MASTERLIST ]

© kpopfanfictrash, 2020. Do not copy or repost without permission.

[sugarmaplewings-fics]

Hermoso

Pairings: BNHA Boys x Latinx!reader

Warnings: My very limited knowledge of both bilingual people and also the Spanish language as a whole :I Also Bakugou is back to saying a few no no words

Characters: Bakugou, Todoroki, Kaminari

A/N:

Hello! Just wanted to say thanks to @pstpstpst-kirikirikiri​​ for requesting! I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I am in fact Latina myself (mixed)! Sadly, I'm not fluent in Spanish (I mean, I can kinda understand it when it's spoken, but even then it's ehh) sooo I hope I was able to do this one well! Tell me if there are any glaring issues. I'm generally not very comfortable with doing racially / ethnically-specific readers, but I decided to give this one a go since I have a teeny bit of background in this.

Ignore how I kinda slacked on Shouto's and popped off on Bakugou's ヽ(。_°)ノ

Anyway, enjoy! Mwah!

-Sugar

═════ ∘♡༉∘ ═════

Bakugou:

● Alright, so let's say you've got a crush on Katsuki

● But who doesn't? *ahem ahem*

● He's just so handsome?? And low key kinda cute too, when he's not making his crankypants frowny face

● It gets to the point where you toy with the nickname in your head, thinking about cupping his soft cheeks in your hands and murmuring it to him. Hermoso

● Aaand then one day, it slips out. Shoot

● He kinda makes a face at you, just a little confused

● He doesn't speak Spanish, right? So you're okay, right?

● But then it happens again. And later again a third time

● Hopefully he doesn't notice your flustered state each time it happens. For all he knows, it could be casual, right?

You wandered into the common room in search of your notebook. Much to your mild annoyance, you'd forgotten to bring it back up to your room the last time you were down here. You found Bakugou sprawled out on one of the couches—a rare sighting to be honest. He usually holed up in his dorm room to be alone rather than venture out into one of the common spaces. Although it probably helped that the room was otherwise currently empty.

"Hey," you greeted him casually.

As you expected, he scarcely bothered to acknowledge you, only diverting his gaze from his phone for a second before going back to it.

You wandered around the space, checking the floor and table for your item of interest. Really it shouldn't be this difficult. The notebook wasn't in some kind of color that would have been hard to miss against the materials of the room.

Glancing at Bakugou, you weighed your options. There was a chance that someone had accidentally kicked it under one of the couches, so you should probably check there. Then again, you weren't sure whether it was worth crawling around on the floor with your butt in the air in front of your crush. Finally you gave up, sacrificing your dignity to get down on your hands and knees to check.

"The hell are you doing?" came an all-too-familiar voice from above.

"I'm looking for my notebook," you explained curtly, trying to keep your hair from getting too intimately involved with the dust on the floor. "Ugh, I don't see it anywhere," you growled, straightening. "Have you? It's light blue and it's got—"

"You mean this?" Bakugou interrupted you, pulling it out from behind his back with a smirk.

You froze, a scowl bringing your eyebrows together. So it had all been for nothing and he'd just been laughing at you the entire time! "Bakugou!"

"Oh, so it's 'Bakugou' now?" he said, teasing, still holding your notebook up.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" you asked, lunging forward to grab it from his hand.

"I thought you were calling me hermoso."

You stopped dead again, wholly unconscious of the unflattering position you were in.

Oh. Shit.

"You think I'm cute or some shit?" he went on, still smirking at you. "That's what you were saying, right? I looked it up after the second time you—"

Your skin burned with heat, wholly embarrassed he'd discovered your secret. You finally swiped the spiral-bound pages from his hand, turning to leave. It took everything in you to not hang your head with shame as you stepped back in the direction of your room.

"Oi."

Something made you halt in your tracks, even though you were tempted to ignore his call for your attention.

". . . I didn't say you had to stop."

You frowned again, confused. "What?" Turning back to him, you saw a faint flush on his cheeks. He suddenly refused to meet your eyes, staring at the corner of the coffee table.

"It's cute," he mumbled, going back to looking at his phone.

____________

Todoroki:

● Even before you had gotten with Shouto, you couldn't help but find him terribly endearing

● From his blunt and forward personality to his undeniably good looks, you knew you had it bad

● Which is what made it even sweeter when your friend finally asked if you could be just a little more

● The first time you'd spoken the term aloud, you'd had Shou resting his head on your chest, murmuring sweet nothings to him in your own mix of Japanese and Spanish. With your fingers weaving through his bi-colored hair, the boy looked as if he was about to doze off to sleep

● "What does that mean?" he asked softly out of the blue. "Hermoso?"

● You explained it to him, telling him how much he meant to you

● Shouto smiled one of his rare smiles; the one that melted your heart without fail every time

● "I like it," he murmured

● And then that was just what you called him. His favorite of your nicknames worked seamlessly into your relationship

● He liked it because it was so you. He loved your accent and loved hearing the way you spoke it to him

● He probably wouldn't freak out if you used his real name, but he's made it clear that he has a soft spot for being your hermoso

____________

Kaminari:

● Can we just appreciate for a moment how much Denki loves you?

● Mans is more of a simp for you than you are for him, just wow

● Anyway, once you explain to him what hermoso means, he is all about being called that at every opportunity

● He even calls you hermosa/hermoso back! He loves that you two have that together and he absolutely lives for it

● He'd get super pouty if you tried to call him something else. You have a thing going and he never wants to stop

"Denki," you called from your position on his bed, your head leaning upside down off the side. You thought you saw him twitch in his chair at the sound of his name, but otherwise, he didn't seem to have heard you.

"Babe," you tried again, waiting for him to turn away from his desk and face you, or at the very least make a noise in acknowledgment.

And so, frustrated, you began to playfully cycle through pretty much every nickname you could think of, keeping your voice in an odd monotone in an effort to capture his attention. "Denks. Kami. Honey. Cariño. Baby. Love of my life."

You frowned to yourself when he still refused to look at you. "Hermoso," you drew out in a whine as your final attempt.

He spun around with a grin, finally meeting your eyes. "Yeah? What is it?"

You snorted out a laugh. "I just wanted to say I love you."

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[dailyaudiobible]

12/9/2022 DAB Transcript

Joel 1:1-3:21, Revelations 1:1-20, Psalm 128:1-6, Proverbs 29:18

Today is the ninth day of December, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian. It is great to be here with you around the Global Campfire today, as we gather together, take the next step forward. I'm so glad to be here today. It, this time year is hectic time of year, isn’t it? It’s so easy to be distracted instead of having this anchor, this place around the Global Campfire. Is awesome and that so, I’m grateful that I could have a place around this Global Campfire together with everybody else and that we can move forward together. Our moving forward today, essentially has us moving into completely new territory both in Old and New Testaments. And so, in the Old Testament we will actually read an entire book, today. Another one of the minor prophets. This will be the book of Joel. And then, when we get to the New Testament today, we will be moving into completely different territory, but we will also be embarking on the final journey in the New Testament, and that will be the book of Revelation, which will take us to the end of the year. So, we'll talk about both of them as we get to them.

Introduction to the Book of Joel:

And as it turns out, we are at the threshold of the book of Joel, which is another one of the books that are grouped together, known as the minor prophets. And nobody really knows definitively, with super clear clarity who Joel even was. There's other people in the Bible with the name Joel but scholars don't believe any of those people are the author of this prophetic book and there aren’t a ton of clues. Joel has a similar language style with some of the other prophets. For example, like Ezekiel or Jeremiah or Amos or Micah or Zephaniah, which leads some scholars to conclude that maybe Joel isn't the…the work of a person name Joel, a single work by a single person, but more of a collection of different prophetic works. But there is other’s that say no, the similarities with the other prophets are because there was like a prophetic culture and there was training and so, there were prophets and kind of like schools of prophets. So, they learn how to write this way. And so, they, there are similarities because they were trained similarly. We don’t know. Like, none of that, those are plausible things, we just don't know. And Joel doesn't have any historical clues to guide the way in the search, which then makes dating the book really difficult and dating…dating these books becomes important just in situating them in history where they happened so that then, the context around what was going on at that time can be known. Loosely, Joel has been dated between 500 and 800 BC. But that's a pretty good spread. But scholars have held that dating this book isn't necessary to understand what its impact would've been and what its message is. Joel writes of a vast horde of locusts that invade the land and ate all the vegetation, everything green, and destroy the crops, which brought on a fantastic famine in the land. And Joel uses that disaster basically, as a backdrop to call the children of Israel back to God, to repent, which is customary in the prophets. And Old Testament scholars generally believe that the…the locusts were real, like this…this was a real natural disaster being used in prophetic form. As opposed to the locusts being a metaphor for something else, a great plague of locusts as an allegory. Most believe no, this really happened and became the backdrop for Joel. And as we were saying, with so many of the other prophets, Joel’s words reveal a fork in the road, and that a choice must be made, and that there are paths that can be chosen, and the correct path would be the path of repentance, and that will lead to restoration and blessing or the alternative path is to continue and rebellion which would lead to the great and terrible day of the Lord. And some of that is described and it would be great and terrible but there's a different path. The path of repentance. Following that path would be even greater, the restoration would be even greater, than the destruction. And so even as we’re just kind of laying this out and talking about a little bit, we can see like this mimic’s life so well. Like so many of the other stories in the Bible that we've read. But we’ll also find some beautiful, very famous passages in the book of Joel. Joel tells us, I will pour out my Spirit upon all people and your sons and daughters will prophesy and your old men will dream dreams and your young men will see visions. And so, we’ll get to hear that today, as we move in and through in its entirety, the book of Joel, which has three chapters. And we’ll read them all. We’re reading from the New Living Translation today, Joel 1 through 3.

Introduction to the Book of Revelation:

Okay so, we’re covering quite a bit of ground today as we move into new territory in the Old and New Testaments. And now that we’re here at the New Testament, we have brand-new territory, but we have also reached the final book that we will move into this year because we’re going through the Bible and that is the book of Revelation. And there really isn't another book in all of the Bible that has been so intriguing to people and fascinated readers in ways that nothing else does. It's been interpreted in a myriad of ways, over thousands of years, some of them like science-fiction sort of interpretations others are pragmatic and scholarly. Revelation itself will identify the author as John. And that brings up all kinds of questions, which John are we talking about and that isn't clearly articulated. Traditionally the author is John the apostle of Jesus, who wrote the gospel of John as well as first, second and third John, although there’s scholarly debate about all that. But whether John the apostle of Jesus was the author of the book of Revelation has been debated since at least the third century and continues to be debated until today. Most scholars, based on the evidence that we have, hold with tradition, the apostle John was probably the author of the book of Revelation. Although there are biblical scholars that would vigorously debate that. Regardless, if the apostle John is the author of the book of Revelation, then John was banished to the island of Patmos where this revelation was given and written down. And it's believed that Patmos at this time was a Roman penal colony, like where political prisoners would be exiled, or criminals would be sent. Sort of this island that nobody can escape off of, an island prison as it were. And the island of Patmos sits in the Aegean Sea. It is between modern-day Greece and Turkey. It's not all that far from Ephesus, where it's believed that John spent the latter part of his life. The book of Revelation itself is considered to be a work of apocalyptic literature and that is one of the reasons why there are so many widely, varied interpretations about every aspect of the book of Revelation. Apocalyptic literature, as a genre, is a highly symbolic form of writing and the reader then has to wrestle with and discern what is, what everything means. What's to be taken literally, what is to be considered symbolic, what is being said as an allegory, what is being said as actual events to come. And since we’re dealing with perhaps the end of the world as we know it and of new era beginning for humanity, then obviously there would be a lot of consideration and intrigue around interpreting the book of Revelation. And so, there has been a lot of intrigue and interpretation of the book of Revelation leading to very, very different and diverse conclusions, and this has been going on for thousands of years. Some look at the work in Revelation from an entirely first century perspective and interpret it and conclude that the events in Revelation, that that Revelation was speaking to specific things that were happening at that time and those things have taken place. Others look at the book of Revelation as beginning in the first century but lasting all the way until the end of the world. And so, we’re in the thick of it right now. Others believe that the symbolism in Revelation has no time, it's…it, it's like a timeless discussion about the cosmic struggle between good and evil. Then any of these views can be legitimate, but if we get overly swept away in the details, trying to match up things and make them fit the time that we are currently in well, we would be the first ones to ever be right by that method. And so, we can get ourselves whipped into a frenzy very, very easily but in the end, we may not find the fulfillment of what we thought was going to happen. That has been happening with every generation since this has been written and nobody's been correct yet. One thing we’ll notice, no matter how are trying to interpret the book of Revelation, the theme that we have been, that has been escalating as we continue further and further into the New Testament, the theme of endurance is a foundational theme in the book of Revelation. I almost to the point that all of the references to enduring and persevering that we have encountered all the way of led us to this point, where this is the major theme in the book of Revelation. And we begin to see that enduring is an irreplaceable thing in the ultimate battle between darkness and light. Revelation tells us that those who stay faithful to the testimony of Jesus and endure until the end will be eternally victorious. John says, they have defeated him by the blood of the lamb and by their testimony and they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die. And as we read Revelation, we'll discover that endurance isn't like hiding, just trying to wait something out in a passive sort of way, just trying to stay hidden. Enduring isn't a defensive thing, staying true and enduring with the truth when the whole world is turned against you is a strong aggressive statement against deception. And deception is one of the greatest forces ever set against mankind, as we'll see in Revelation. And we'll see that the reader is instructed to remain true, hold to the truth, be a witness to the truth, be a light in the darkness to the very end. And as Revelation teaches us, the very end is actually a new beginning.

And so, with that, let's dive into the book of Revelation. But before we do, one little thing that we can try this year. I have been reading through the Bible well, this is the 17th time in a row. And so, this be the 17th time through Revelation in a row. And what I have learned is because of what we’re doing in the Old Testament, moving through the minor prophets very, very rapidly as we move toward the end of the year. We have a lot to talk about just in giving an overview of what it is were reading in the Old Testament and the minor prophets. And it’s really, really difficult to do that and try to decipher or present all of the different ways that Revelation has been interpreted, all at the same time. And so, I try to keep us moving forward with the material that we are moving through but a couple years ago I was like, let's take the Revelation path. Cause like, you really can't take both of them without every day being really, really, really, really long and complicated, really intensely complicated. But a few years ago, I was like, let's just do it. And we kind of stuck to the path of Revelation, not from an interpretive perspective where it's like here’s what it means and here's what you have to believe. Like I was just saying that people have come to all kinds of conclusions about every nuance of the book of Revelation, but I did go through and try to present some of the problems, some of the challenges in interpreting it. Some of the different ways, some of the major ways the different sections of Revelation have been looked at. And I went back and kind of reviewed that a little bit thinking how do we incorporate all of this. And so, here's what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna continue through the Daily Audio Bible like we do and cover every one of the minor prophets as we encounter them, and we'll talk about whatever we talk about each and every day, but we won’t be talking about Revelation, because at the end of the program each day so we do the Daily Audio Bible. We talk about it. We pray. We talk about anything is going on in the community and things to keep us connected and then there are the prayers of the people that we hear and pray for them. And then that’s typically the end of the day of the Daily Audio Bible. After the prayers from now until the end of the year, I'm going to insert those discussions from the book of Revelation, so that if you want to take a deep dive and really kind of swim in the intricacies there, that'll come after the prayers. It's not every single day but it's most days between now and the end of the year. And so that will, I guess that'll give us some bonus content each day as we move toward the end of the year and through the book of Revelation. And if that is life-giving and a good thing then maybe we’ll continue that in years to come, but this will be first time we’ve ever tried this. So, I'm just making you aware of that, that's not going to happen today. We have covered a lot of ground today moving into and through Joel. And now, kind of setting up Revelation. So, we’ll just kind of stick to where we are but tomorrow after the prayers, that's when we’ll kind of start this Revelation exploration. And I'll just continue to remind us, when there is bonus stuff at the very, very end about the book of Revelation. But for now, let's get into the text itself, Revelation chapter 1.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word and we thank You that it is it's coming at us faster now and we thank You for that because it forces us to very much pay attention to what is being said. And we ask that Your Holy Spirit, lead us to what we need to hear, whether that be in the thick of the book of Revelation or whether that be in any of the minor prophets that we are moving through, as we move toward the end of the year. We love You and it would be so easy for us to start checking out and just kind of feeling and realizing that were close to the end of the year and it's really, really busy when there is so much left for us. So much left to help us set up and begin strong, what comes next which is a new year. And so, Holy Spirit, come, as we continue to move forward step-by-step, day-by-day, even as things have accelerated in our lives in the world and in the Bible. Help us to retain and understand what it is that You are showing us. Lead us into all truth we pray, in the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com, that's home base and that is where you find out what's going on around here. The Daily Audio Bible app will do that as well, in the palm of your hand and you can get that from the App Store that connects to your device.

And we all know it's Christmas time around here, everywhere, and that includes around the Global Campfire. So, a couple of…of Christmas oriented things. First, the Annual Daily Audio Bible Christmas party that we have each year, this is the last call that you, for you to call in your holiday greetings to the community here. And you can do that by pressing the Hotline button in the app or by dialing 877-942-4253. And obviously that's the prayer and encouragements lines and so, they're just doubling right now as our holiday greeting line. The only thing is, if you, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, call that in like you would, call your holiday greeting in the separate, so that we can keep them separate. And again, last call, last call if you want to get in for the party this year. So that's going on. There is also some holiday music from the community here for your holiday playlists. Let's see, Jill my wife Jill Parr, you can look for her O Holy Night single. We also have a Christmas single that she released a few years back with Do You Hear What I Hear and Oh Come All Ye Faithful on it. And that goes back a little, little ways. I listened to it last night and I was like okay, I gotta remind everybody this exist. If you want your face ripped off by the mighty power of my wife's voice, then you’ll have to hear her rendition of Do You Hear What I Hear. But then I was listening to Oh Come All Ye Faithful and just remembering when we recorded that because China was a lot littler, she was doing Daily Audio Bible Kids then. She certainly wasn't grown and married and have a child of her own. But one year, Jill was out on a Christmas tour with Nicole Mullen and channels out on the road and was singing every night in front of thousands of people. And so, we recorded this and it came on and it took my breath away because it was China as a little girl singing a little bit of a duet with her mommy at the end of the song. And so, anyway, that's all available for your playlists for Christmas. There is the Family Christmas album. So, you can look for family Christmas and my name and you should be able to find that. And then there is the Christmas Time album, so you can look for Christmas Time and Maxwell Hardin, my son's name. And enjoy, place all of that into the rotation of your holiday season and it’ll be Christmas around the Global Campfire all the time. So, check that out. And then lastly the Daily Audio Bible Family Christmas box for 2022 is available. Next week will, we will reach the cutoff point, at least for shipping for Christmas. And so, if that's kind on your list and you’ve been thinking about that, then don't delay there. Go ahead and order while you can. And we have packed the Christmas box this year full of all kinds of goodies. A fantastic box full of resources, things that you want to keep, things that you may want to give away, it's…it's all full. And so, you can check that out at dailyaudiobible.com or in the app, just go to the Shop and in the Shop, you'll find the Christmas category and the Christmas box is in the Christmas category.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, as we approach the end of another year together. Thank you, humbly and profoundly, thank you for your partnership as we move day-by-day, step-by-step through the Scriptures. There is a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner, or the mailing address is P.O. Box 1996 Springhill, Tennessee 37174.

And as always, if ever prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today, I'm Brian, I love you and I'll be waiting for you here, tomorrow.

Prayer and Encouragements:

This is Timothy from Mexico and I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to express my appreciation for Maxwell Hardin, the son of Brian. His music, I bought his Christmas album a year ago. And I’ve listened to it from time to time but in this year, in this Advent Season, it’s been such a blessing. And I recommend it. It’s given me so much joy and comfort and tranquility as I listen to it. And I do other things as I listen to it, read the Bible and pray and thank you so much Maxwell Hardin, for your great talent and using it for the glory of God. You have a wonderful Advent Season and Christmas. In the name of Jesus. Goodbye.

Good morning DAB-C friends and family, this is Samantha from Tennessee. And I was just calling in to ask you guys to join me in prayer for my husband as well as all of our loved ones that might not be as passionate about the word as we are. So, Lord Jesus, I ask for a hunger for my husband and my family. I ask that they would desire your word. That they would wake up thinking about it and go to bed thinking about it and that your Holy Spirit would convict and bug the fire out of them until they get in Your word, Jesus. I pray that in 2023 every person that the DAB-C family cares about and loves and wants to have a relationship with you through your word, that they would desire it, Jesus. I just pray for a desire and a hunger and the obedience to be in the word. Not because we are better because we are but we are better off because we are because You are feeding us our daily spiritual bread, Jesus, and it is so important. Thanks guys. Amen.

Hey Daily Audio Bible family, this is Jeremiah, God Gives Good Gifts from Michigan. I’m a few weeks behind right now but I just heard Shawn from London call in about his alcohol and drug addiction. And I just want to stand in the gap and join him in prayer. So, would you join me as we go before the throne of grace and seek God’s help. Father God, we just come boldly into Your presence and thank You for Your grace and mercy, your love and forgiveness. We want to just stand in the gap for Shawn and for all those who are struggling with alcoholism and drug addiction. And Lord, we just as we come before You, we just want to repent, we want to repent of pride, repent of idolatry, repent of fear, repent of addiction. And Lord, I just pray that You would bind the hand of the enemy in Shawn’s heart and mind and body and life. We just pray Lord, that You would do battle in the heavenlies on his behalf and that Satan and his stronghold and the demons would flee before the name of Jesus, before the name of Yeshua and that You would set him free from this addiction. Lord, that You would give him a testimony of Your power and Your love and Your presence in his life. That he would be able to turn away each and every day. Take himself out of the center of his life and put You and Your glory first in his life. We thank You and we praise You in Jesus name. All God’s children said, Amen. Love you, bless you.

Hey DAB good morning, it’s Blessing’s Flow in Pennsylvania. I wanted to leave a quick praise report. Today is December 6th but over the weekend, like December 2nd, I was, I listened to that day’s podcast and I went back to August to one I hadn’t finished and it was very encouraging. And was in the Psalms and I paused it for a moment, my husband came in and he had given me this letter and asked if I could put it on our prayer board. It was one we had received that day from a lawyer, something from our business. Honestly, it was a threat that if we don’t do something you know, this person may come against us. And it’s about something that’s not true. But he wanted me to put the letter up on the prayer board so we could pray for it. And I said, okay, one second. And I pressed play again, on the Daily Audio Bible and don’t you know that the exact scripture was Psalm 27:12 and it was something like you know, don’t fret about your foes that come against you with malicious lies, or something like this. And I just thought, what in the world. I’ve read Psalm 27 many times and I guess there’s certain parts I paid attention to but it just really encouraged me that I had listened to that at that exact time and it was from August and now it’s December. Anyway, the word of God is always right on time and I just hope I can come across with the same amazement I had in that moment. I just want to give God glory. Merry Christmas everybody.

Hello, my name is Echo Hope. I love you and I would like to graciously invite you to please, pray with me. Papa, there are some situations and circumstances which have allowed us to entertain some thoughts that cause us to believe that You are not here, that you are not near and that You have forsaken us. We may be tempted to overcome our goodness in Your graces with doubt and unbelief. Fear be gone in the name of Jesus Christ. We have nothing to do with you and you have no right to entertain our vessels. We are a ship, plowing forward. The sails are being blown by the very word of God, spoken into our bones. Rebuke you, in the name of Jesus. Fear be gone now. Cut ties, we have nothing to do with you. The ax is laid to the root of the tree and the ax is you and me on that cross with Jesus Christ. And the tree is the satanic root and nature of sin we have no place in you, you have no place in us. Take back what you’ve given and leave nothing here that belongs to you, go. Papa, I thank You for giving me the opportunity to pray. You have lit a fire inside of me that is overwhelming and can hardly contain it. Please help me channel everything that You have taught me in a proper, decent and orderly fashion. Help me not to vomit and throw up all over everyone that I meet. Help me learn how to show them how much I love them so that way, you can be all things threw me to everyone in need. Jesus.

[smellsfaintlyofvanilla]

hi may i request a mikasa x gn reader soulmates au? maybe the tattoo/marks trope or the visions/dreams trope up to you :) thank you in advance!

Finally some Mikasa, I love her sm

Also, I wasn't super sure what specific tropes you were talking about, so I just kinda took an idea and ran with it, hope you don't mind.

Anyway, this POV follows Mikasa, which is different from what I usually do, a POV of the reader instead lol

Rosebud

(Mikasa Ackerman x Reader)

AU: Canon, soulmates AU (You have a unique tattoo that only you and your soulmate have)

Warnings: None

Category: Fluff

Summary: Mikasa was doubtful of soulmates, but an unexplainable force draws her to her soulmate one day, and Mikasa has no choice but to confront it.

Words: 2.7K

Mikasa never really believed in soulmates.

She thought the idea that everyone had a destined, unchangeable partner was ridiculous. The perfect person just "appearing" whenever the universe decided she needed them wasn't something she understood at all.

And yet, the evidence of her having one was splayed gorgeously across her back. Stretching from shoulder to shoulder, a large, beautiful tattoo was inked on her back. Feathered wings, outstretched and reaching towards nothing, and around them; roses. Red roses and thorned vines wrapping around the wings and budding up at the top, exposing a single rose bud on the nape of her neck. Though, it remained hidden behind the crimson red scarf she adorned.

She had kept it hidden constantly, lest her soulmate notice it and complicate things. For all she cared, she would keep it hidden forever, and her soulmate would be none the wiser.

She stared into her reflection in the mirror, collecting a small amount of water in her cupped palms and splashing it in her face, making sure her body was wide awake for morning training.

She turned around, staring at the tattoo with an indecipherable expression. She was still topless, not having finished dressing yet, giving her the opportunity to observe the art. Whether she believed in soulmates or not, she couldn't deny the absolute beauty of it.

Hesitantly, she slid on her bra and shirt, wrapping her scarf around her neck just enough to cover the rose. It could stay hidden a little longer.

Time came for morning training, and she suited up in her ODM gear. Today was race day; something that came once a week, where, in the morning, they would race through the forest with their gear, and the first to take a flag from Shadis on the other side was declared winner, and got double rations for the week.

Armin geared up next to her, his sleeves riding up his arms, revealing the tattoo on the inside of his forearm—a golden compass, opened and facing North. The glass covering the needle was adorned with small droplets of water, and foam, presumably from some body of saltwater, surrounded the accessory.

She looked away, choosing to ignore the way it made her heart twinge. Sometimes, rarely, she would indulge in the idea of having a soulmate. She hoped that, say it be true, her soulmate would truly understand her and care for her, and, most importantly, love her, something she unfortunately didn't experience a lot of in her childhood.

A shrill whistle startled her out of her thoughts—the first whistle. It signified 30 seconds until the start of the race, where he would blow it three times in short succession to start the chaos.

She lined up on the white line, drawn in the dirt with chalk, and stretched her arms over her head, releasing the tension in her body before the race started.

Finally, after a tense silence between the soldiers, the whistle blew, and all the Cadets instantly took off, whirring and spinning into the darkness of the forest.

Mikasa shot off, easily finding her place in the top three. Reiner was to her left, and, despite his large build, he managed to carry himself effortlessly, flying through the air like an eagle. And, to her right, the three week reigning champion—you.

Your hair blew behind your face as you pierced through the air, dodging the thick tree trunks and jutting branches as you flew towards the goal.

You turned your head, eyes meeting hers with a competitive smirk, wordlessly challenging her, temping her, even.

Mikasa perfected her form, leveling her body and shooting the hooks of her gear into just the right places to give her the highest momentum. She easily slipped past you, eyes set straight forward towards the goal as she stole the first place spot.

You swore under your breath, immediately thinking of how you were going to pull ahead of Mikasa during the home stretch.

You aimed your ODM gear at a tree in the distance, seeing if you could use the momentum to slingshot yourself forwards and towards the goal.

But, as soon as the hook buried itself into the wood, the wire twisted and stretched, clearly going on beyond it's limits. Still, you decided that would be a problem for the next gear inspection. For now, you could stand to damage your gear a little bit to pull ahead of Mikasa.

Mikasa watched, jaw slightly agape, as you sped in front of her, easily gaining a ten meter lead on her. Her daze lasted only a slight moment, as a loud screeching noise drew her attention away from your sudden lead.

She searched around for a moment for the source of the sound, until she located it right in your direction. Her eyes widened in realization—your ODM wire was strained, and started the fray as it twisted and stretched.

You seemed to notice your peril shortly after, but there was nothing you could do at that point. The last metal strand of the wire strand snapped, and it gave out instantly, still dug into the tree.

Panic immediately shot up your spine, bracing yourself for impact as your previous momentum shot your face first towards the forest floor.

Mikasa's eyes wandered involuntarily towards your stranded form, watching in horror as you collided with the dirt, kicking up a cloud of dust laying limply in the shrubbery.

Part of her just wanted to finish the race—since she was now in first—and claim her rations. But, a sudden, external force drew her to you, her body moving on its own as she rushed to your side.

Soldiers flew past her overhead, the buzzing and whirring in her ears making it difficult to tell just how fast her heart was beating all of the sudden.

She dug through the grass and shrubs for a moment, searching your limp figure. Once she found you, she pulled you up and out of the dirt. You were awake, but somewhat lethargic, staring up at her with droopy eyes. Blood trickled down your forehead and over your cheeks, dripping from your chin.

"Shit, Y/n...!" She cursed under her breath, scanning your body for any other injuries, letting out a heavy sigh of relief once she realized there were none.

"Are you alright? Does your head hurt? Can you walk?" She bombarded you with questions, pulling your body into her lap. She had no idea why she was so concerned with you all of the sudden, but the urge to make sure you were okay was absolutely overpowering.

"I..." You raised your hand the gash in your head, pulling it away and gazing at the blood coating your fingers. "...could be better, but I think I'm alright." You sighed, resting an arm over your chest out of exhaustion. "Hurts like a bitch, though."

Mikasa sighed, brushing the loose strand of hair from your face.

"Mmm..." She hummed, rubbing her temple as the roots of a headache started to form in her head. Terrible timing, though it was inevitable considering the sudden stress this situation brought her. "Still, I should bring you back. You don't look so great right now."

You sighed, nodded your head slowly, the pain of your fall seeping its way into your aching body as the adrenaline started to wear off.

You stood up, slowly starting to walk back to the barracks, but found your legs suddenly unable to support your body weight as you stumbled and collapsed forward. Luckily, Mikasa dashed to your side, wrapping one arm around your shoulders and the other over your stomach to support you and prevent your fall.

"Hang on." She muttered, moving in front of your to slink her arm underneath you, picking you up and slowly carrying you towards the barracks.

You immediately buried your nose in the crook of her neck, the head injury clearly clouding any sense of shame momentarily. You inhaled her subtle, yet sweet aroma, slowly dozing off in her warm embrace.

It took Mikasa a good few minutes to realize you had fallen asleep, once she had asked you a question for the third time and didn't get a response. Once she realized, though, she just moved the arm that wasn't supporting you up to your head, keeping your head in its place. For some odd reason, she found comfort in its being there.

Small twigs snapping and grass rustling, plus your soft snoring, were the only audible noises at this point, the other soldiers far too far away to hear. Even if the two of you were close enough, even the person in last place should've crossed by now. She paused to wonder if Shadis would mind both of your absences, but dismissed the thought. At least somebody had to have seen you fall.

She sighed, gazing up at the sky.

"What am I doing right now?" She wondered aloud, now that there was no one to listen. "Why am I helping you?" Her slender hand brushed through your hair, trying to make you as comfortable as possible while you slept.

She had no clue, honestly. She had always been a close friend to you, but to go to such lengths to comfort you, she wasn't sure why. And she wasn't sure, either, why your gentle breathing against her was so calming to her. Really, she had no reason to be feeling this way.

Her feet slowed to a stop in front of the main building of the Trainee Regiment. Slowly, she pushed the door open and walked down the corridor towards the nursing room.

Gently, she set you down on the bench, stirring you awake as you opened your eyes, scanning the new environment with confusion.

"Where are w-"

"The medical office." She cuts you off without thinking, rummaging through the nearby cabinet for bandages, or something to wrap your head in.

Finding the small, white roll tucked away in the back, she turns back to you, unraveling some of the bandages and slowly wrapping them around your head.

"It really isn't that bad, Mikasa." You stated, yet made no effort to stop her.

"Liar. You passed out on the way here." She deadpanned, finally finishing the bandages. Grabbing a small cloth and running it under the sink, she dabbed it across your face, cleaning off the dried blood.

"I didn't pass out." You huffed out, stubbornly.

"You were asleep almost the whole walk."

"Just a power nap." You concluded, making her giggle.

"Whatever you say, just... be more careful. You probably already have a concussion, we don't need more than one TBI per month." She joked, smiling bashfully as you laughed at her quip. Mikasa wasn't a jokester by any means, so to see her so comfortable around you was a shock.

Mikasa pulled the cloth away from your face, examining for any missed spots. She almost put the rag away, satisfied with her work, until she saw a little dash of red across your nape.

"Turn around. You have blood on your neck." She whispered, and you obeyed silently, turning around.

She outstretched her hand, preparing to wipe the crimson off your neck, until she noticed. That's not blood at all.

It was a rosebud.

She blinked once, twice, making sure it wasn't just her imagination. It was identical to the one she had of the back of her nape as well—she knew it far too well, she saw it every other morning.

Without thinking, she grabbed the head hole of your shirt, pulling the cloth down to your mid-back to get a closer look.

"Ack—! Mikasa what are-" You sputtered, confused by her sudden forcefulness, contrasting her previous gentle behavior.

She paid no mind to your protests though, gazing in amazement and bewilderment. It was the exact same as the one she had, a perfect replica.

Clearly, she had never thought to take in the beauty of it until now. Now that it was inked into your back and not hers, she could see just how marvelous of a drawing it is.

"Y/n..." She exhaled, so quiet that she was surprised the sound even passed her lips coherently.

"Mikasa, what's gotten into you?" You inquire, turning around to face her, pulling your shirt back up over your shoulders in the meantime.

The second your eyes meet hers, she throws herself around you, wrapping her arms so tight around your chest that you swore you couldn't breathe.

Tears threatened to prick at her eyes. No matter how much she didn't believe in it, the stories were true. The stories of how you'd feel when you first connect with your soulmate. And, guessing by the way your breathing faltered and your mouth hung agape, you could feel it too.

She pulled away, leaving you confused, but also a little colder without her body pressed so close to yours.

With no explanation, she raised her arms and slid her shirt over her head, causing you to flush bright red and start to panic.

"Mikasa, seriously, what the hell is going on-"

"Look." She turned around, and the winged tattoo was on full display. It matched yours completely.

"Mikasa, I..." You tried to think of something to say, but no words fell out. You didn't expect to meet your soulmate, not this early, not her.

She didn't know what to do, either. She never expected to meet her soulmate, and not in a place like the Cadet Corps. Though, she couldn't deny that she felt attracted to you, not just emotionally, but almost spiritually, like something unknown tethered the two of you together.

Slowly, she brought you into a more gentle embrace, slinking down in your lap and wrapping her arms around your neck, leaning into the crook of your shoulder. You instantly wrapped your arms around her in return, and you swore you had never felt more at home than in this moment.

Her hand moved to your back, skimming it back and forth over the spot where your tattoo laid—she knew it was there, even if she couldn't see it.

The two of you stayed there in comfortable silence for what felt like eternity, being so close to someone as important as a soulmate brought immeasurable relief and tranquility to the both of you. The dull throbbing in your head died down at the sensation of the warm, comfortable woman tucked in your arms.

But, the moment was cut off by the distant shouting and clamoring of soldiers, signifying their return from the race.

"We should get up." You muttered, not wanting your intimate moment ruined by sudden company.

Mikasa sighed, reluctantly shuffling out of your lap and onto her feet. "What about Shadis?" She inquired, sliding her shirt back over her head.

"I'll just say it's about the head wound, and that you're staying behind to help me." You smile, dusting more of the dried dirt off your uniform. "He'll understand."

"I doubt that." She sighed bluntly, stretching her stiff limbs over her head. "But still, I wouldn't mind spending a little time off with you." She admitted, grabbing the cloth of her scarf and covering her mouth in an attempt to mask her flushed face.

"Good." You push through the door to the medical office, making your way to your dorm room—which, by coincidence, you shared with Mikasa.

You plopped down on the cozy linen sheets, stretching your body out before yawning, patting the space next to you and inviting Mikasa over. She took the offer silently, placing herself on the mattress, sitting up and facing the wall away from you.

"You know, when I said to watch over me, that was only an excuse for Shadis." You muttered, wrapping your arms around her waist in an attempt to pull her down to cuddle. "I just wanted to snuggle a little bit."

She sighed. Not moving from her position, upright and facing the wall. "I know, I know soulmates should do romantic things like this, I'm just... very new to this." She muttered, embarrassed.

"That's fine." You yawn, arms retreating from her waist as you bury your face in a pillow, sleep already taking hold. "We have plenty of time."

She nodded wordlessly, even you were unable to see—sleep had already taken hold of you.

"That's okay," She turned around, stroking your hair and brushing a few loose strands away from your face. "I think I love you already."

Bleh, I'll proofread this in the morning.

Edit: I did not proofread this in the morning.

[stressisakiller]

I'm Glad it's You

Steve Rogers x reader soulmate AU

As you wish part 3

Summary: A difficult conversation and a whole lot of fluff

Warnings: none, couple of curse words, mentions brainwashing

Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: I finally got to this chapter!! I am so sorry it took so long life has been hectic. Hope yall like it!

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Blinking your eyes open you are surprised to see that you are still in the living room. You can't remember falling asleep last night. Then you feel the arm that's thrown over your stomach and the breath of the super soldier sleeping beside you. Right you think, Captain America is my soulmate and we fell asleep watching the princess bride. That was a sentence you never thought possible.

You carefully shuffle around for a better angle to see the man next to you. His mouth is slightly open and he had moved from mostly sitting up to lying on his side, one arm under your head the other around your waist. His hair is adorably messy, you wouldn't have thought that his hair could be anything but perfect. It is strangely endearing to see him like this, completely relaxed and looking slightly ruffled. 

Your gaze on his face seems to rouse him from his sleep, eyes slowly blinking open and taking in the world around him. He startles awake when he realizes how close you are and the fact that his arms are wrapped around you.

“Oh my goodness, I am so sorry, I didn’t mean..” He starts apologizing while trying to untangle himself from you.

You cut him off by snuggling closer to him, your voice is muffled by his chest as you speak. 

“Don’t you dare apologize, that was the best sleep I’ve had in ages, plus you’re my soulmate, I doubt cuddling on the couch all night will be the worst thing we do.” You look up to see a slight blush painting his cheeks at your words.

“I never said it was," he counters, still a little flustered, "but we only just figured this out last night and I didn’t want to assume anything.” He quickly gains his composure back, allowing himself to enjoy the feeling of you in his arms. That is until Tony walks in.. 

"Please no sex on the couch, it's a bitch to clean." He states loudly causing you to laugh at his antics. You force yourself to leave the warmth that is Steve's arms and walk over to Tony who is grabbing a cup of coffee.

“I’m still mad at you, you know, for not telling me earlier.” You state matter of factly. "All this time I thought I'd end up dying alone because of one of your experiments gone wrong, and it turns out that you knew who my soulmate is for months."

He looks at you for a moment, contemplating how to respond before softening and giving you a kiss on the forehead,

 “I’m sorry little Buttercup, I should have told you earlier and not just assumed that you already knew.” You smile at this softer side of Tony, the side that he usually only allows you to see. 

You pour yourself and Steve a cup of coffee, asking him how he likes it.

"A good amount of cream and a spoonful of sugar." He states looking a little sheepish. You smile at the fact that Captain America likes a little coffee with his creamer. 

You jump slightly when you feel his arms sliding around your waist and his chin on your shoulder. 

"Thank you, doll, that looks perfect." His voice is soft in your ear. You quickly realize Steve is an affectionate man that likes to cuddle and is quickly warming up to the fact that you enjoy it too. 

You lean back into his embrace, reveling the simple fact that you could. You found your soulmate and you were already head over heels for the man. 

Your mom always loved to cook and she taught you when you were young. So you decide to make up some pancakes and french toast for breakfast, after all, it isn't everyday that you find your other half.

Tony and Steve help set the table and everything while you cook. Steve askes if he can help but Tony knows that you enjoyed taking care of the cooking by yourself. That may partially come from the fact that, for the most part, Tony is a terrible cook and you don't want him anywhere near your food.

Once the table is set and you are well on your way to cooking breakfast, Steve and Tony sit down and start to talk. Steve, always the one to go straight to business, begins to ask about the girl he brought in the day before.

“She’s still unconscious, from the look of her she's been in some terrible fights, she has multiple gun wounds and some scars that look to be from some wicked knife wounds.” Tony answers, feeling a little bit of sympathy for the unconscious girl in the medical wing.

“Well all the same, I need to find out who so is and why she shot me.” Steve answers allowing a little bit of the exasperation he is feeling to slip into his words.

“She shot you?” Your voice is laced with worry and you walk up to him, placing the food in your hand on the table, “are you ok?” Your eyes search his body to see if you could find the wound he spoke of.

“Yes doll, she shot me. I had the bullet removed and the skin is almost completely healed." His voice is gentle, reassuring, letting you know that there is nothing for you to worry about. 

"Anyway, it was like she wasn't shooting to kill. It was like she aimed for the spot that would cause the least amount of damage." His entire face is scrunched up in confusion, before he shakes his head and continues. "But I must speak with her when she wakes. That is the only way we can find out for sure.”

“Well until then, let's eat and then maybe you can come up with me to my lab so I can make you that punching bag.” You say setting the last of the food onto the table and grabbing some orange juice.

“You weren’t kidding about that?” Steve's voice is incredulous, he really didn't think that you would actually make a punching bag for him.

“Of course I was serious, I never kid.” You can’t help the smile that slips through the serious look you are putting on.

The next two days pass with you and Seve spending as much time together as possible. You are quickly able to develop a punching bag for him and even develop a couple of smaller items to help make missions easier as well. You are surprised how happy it makes you to have Steve in the lab with you. You share stories of your childhood and are surprised by the similarities, especially when it comes to your health. He tells you about Brooklyn, and his friend Bucky. About trying to get drafted and the events that lead to him becoming Captain American. You enjoy how willing he is to share his life with you and how easy it is for you to return the favor. You are in the middle of telling him the story of how you met Tony when Jarvis comes over the speaker.

“Mr. Rogers, the woman you brought in has awoken.”

 

You look at each other before rushing down the halfway to the medical wing. Steve steps in first and you quietly follow him, not wanting to get in the way. 

“Oh good you’re awake,” Steve’s voice is harder than you had ever heard before, and you watch as the girl tenses up even more. 

“Now I get to ask you all of the questions that I’ve been waiting to ask you for the past 3 days.” You watch him pull a chair up and sit, his pose meant to intimidate. 

“Who are you? Why did you shoot me? What were you doing in that town and where did you get these?” You flinch slightly at the anger in his voice, glad that it isn’t currently directed at you. 

Steve is holding up a pair of dog tags, and you wonder what they have to do with anything. The girl seems to be reeling from the questions trying to decide how to answer. You are curious as to what she will have to say. Her voice is desperate when she finally speaks.

“My name is Alison, my father is Hydra and forced me to become one of their experiments, a soldier for them. I was planning on escaping but I never could, I couldn’t leave him there.” Leave him? Leave who you wonder, her voice grows more desperate when she speaks of him, he must be important to her. You focus back in on what she is saying. 

“I couldn’t leave him, not when I could do something to save him. I couldn’t leave him there all alone.” You can tell that she is close to tears as she speaks and that there is no lie in her words.

Steve balks, “Wait a minute, you’re Hydra.” He spits the words out at her causing you to look at him in confusion. 

“Not by choice.” Her voice is steel. She holds no love for her father or this Hydra organization.

Steve finally asks the question that is bugging you. “Alright then, who is this “he” you keep mentioning?” He leans back crossing his arms, waiting for her answer.

She stares at him for a moment, as if deciding whether she can trust him or not. She seems to come to a conclusion. Taking a deep breath she answers, 

“My soulmate, the soldier, the man on the dog tags, James Buchanan Barnes.” You can't help but gasp, James was Steve’s best friend, he had told you all about him the last couple of days. Your gaze immediately turns to Steve to see his reaction, his whole body has gone stiff, his eyes narrowed, teeth clenched.

“You’re lying. I watched him fall from the train, I watched him die! There is no way in hell he is your soulmate.” His anger is rolling off of him in waves.

 You however remain strangely calm after the initial shock of her words. What she said makes sense, after all a 95 year old super soldier who was assumed dead for 70 years is your soulmate. Who's to say that James didn’t survive the fall?

 You step up to Steve and softly place your hand on his shoulder.

The girl is still frantically trying to convince him, “I’m not lying! I swear! Hydra got to him. They made him into a weapon, they brainwashed him and put him on ice when they didn’t need him so that they could control him better. I swear, I’m not lying!" Her voice is practically hysterical at the end.

 Leaning in to Steve you murmur to him, 

“Steve, you survived an airplane crash and being frozen in a glacier for decades. Maybe she is telling the truth.” Your voice is soft, placating. 

He turns to you, the hardness of his face softening at the sincerity he can see in your eyes. 

“Fine,” he says turning back to the girl, Alison, “I can’t fully trust you and I can’t let you go, so you will have to live here in the tower, under surveillance. If you want us to trust you, you will have to prove yourself trustworthy.” Steve stands after this declaration, unlocking the cuffs on her wrists. You turn to her, 

“I’ll make sure that they have a room ready for you as soon as you are well enough to leave the hospital.” You give her a soft smile, heaven knows she needs it. You pause a second, alone in the room with her, Steve had walked swiftly out the door as soon as he had undone the cuffs. 

“I just have one last question,” she nods at you when you pause, “I know you shot Steve. But you missed anything important on purpose, didn’t you?"

She just gives you a secret smile and lays back against the pillow, but it is all you need to know the type of woman she is. You can tell already that you like this girl, and that it won’t take you long to trust her. Giving her one last look you step out the door, calling for Jarvis to make sure a room is ready for the new guest. You have a Steve to find. 

 

He is exactly where you expect him to be, punching the shit out of the punching bag you made him. 

“Hey Soldier.” You call to him, as you lean against the doorway. You watch as his body slouches at the sound of your voice, today was a lot.

“She said that Bucky is her soulmate,” his eyes are red as they catch yours, “what if he is alive and I could have saved him. All this time I thought that I watched him die and now there is this chance that he is alive. What if I abandoned him?” 

His voice breaks at the question, he looks so vulnerable. You step quickly towards him, keeping your movements light. When you reach him you take the hand that is hanging limply by his side and place it on your cheek.

“Hey, love, look at me.” His eyes slide up from the floor. “There was no way you could have known and nothing you could have done to help. If he is alive, I will be right there with you and we will do whatever it takes to get him back. He is your family, and that makes him mine, and we don’t leave family behind.” His eyes are full of tears as he leans his head against yours. 

The toll of the day, makes itself apparent in the slouch of his shoulders and the weight of his forehead. You slowly pull yourself out of the embrace, grasping his hand and pulling him with you.

“Come on, we both need sleep and there is no way in hell I’m letting you sleep by yourself after the day we just had.” He nods and follows your gentle pull to your room in the tower. 

Since you have lived here the longest you have one of the nicest rooms, save Tony of course. Entering the room you have Steve sit on the edge of the bed while you start up the shower for him. You place out a couple of towels out on the vanity and step back into your room. 

Steve hasn’t moved since you walked into the bathroom. You step up to him and gently place your hand on his cheek.

“Love, I have the shower running for you, everything is set out and I placed a clean pair of sweatpants and a shirt in there for you, they should fit. Go ahead and get cleaned up and then you can come lay down.”

He stares at you listlessly for a moment before nodding and moving to do exactly as you suggested. As he showers you change into your pjs, you would take your shower in the morning. You grab the book on your bedside table and allow yourself to get lost in the words for a moment. The sound of the shower turning off brings you back to reality, as Steve steps out of the bathroom in just the sweatpants. 

Your first thought is holy shit followed quickly by the thought that whoever decided that you would be the perfect soulmate for this specimen might have been mistaken . 

Steve is having a similar train of thought, looking at you in your too large shirt and messy bun, knowing that behind your beauty is a heart of gold. He can't believe his luck.

He walks to the other side of the bed, drying off his hair and throwing the towel in the hamper. Pausing for a moment at the empty side of the bed, searching your face for any trace of doubt. Instead all he sees is you smiling at him and gesturing for him to take his place beside you.

 Settling into the bed he is surprised when you lean over and place your head in his lap.

“I’m glad it’s you.” He smiles at the soft admission, thankful that he finally found you after all these years.

“I’m glad it’s you too, doll. For the longest time I thought I would never find you, I thought you may not even exist. But I did and you are even more amazing than I could have ever hoped for." He pauses for a moment deciding whether to say what's on his mind or not. He is hesitant as he starts to speak. 

"Thank you for today, for calming me when I needed it and for being there for me. Not many people have seen me cry, but I’m glad that you have and that you aren’t disappointed in me for not staying strong.” At his words you immediately sit up and stare him straight in the eyes.

“You listen here, Steve Rogers." You poke him in the chest as you speak. " I never want you to feel like you have to keep up appearances when you are around me. You may need to be strong for others but not for me. I am here for you, no matter what, and that especially includes the moments where you can no longer be strong. You better remember that, I will never judge you for the way you feel.” Taking in your intense stare, Steve feels warmth spreading through his body. Yes , he thinks, he is very glad that it's you. 

Smiling at you and nodding Steve grasps your arms and pulls you into his chest, savoring the feeling of your head resting over his heart. He can’t remember the last time he felt as content as he does in this moment. The world may feel like it's moments away from crashing down around him, but right now all he can think about is you. 

Tagged users: @writerwrites

[itsuki-minamy]

GAKUEN K: WONDERFUL SCHOOL DAYS

CHAPTER 1: START

Translation: Naru-kun Raws: skyflyinginaction

* Gakuen K (List of Chapters) * Projects & Chapters

A peaceful life. That is all she expected.

She didn't want to think like until now.

Fortunately, she received a recommendation from the "Ashinaka Super School" to move.

So she wouldn't make that mistake anymore. She simply disciplines herself so as not to disturb anyone, quietly and discreetly. She would keep quiet so as not to attract attention.

She was sure that she would find a place to stay. She thought she would be accepted.

After that, she would enjoy it. She would have fun. She would have a mediocre and peaceful life that would bore her.

She had already lost once what was precious to her.

"Nya! Shiro, it smells good from here!"

"Huh? Neko? What we're looking for isn't food... huh?"

"Oh! Find the transfer student! Let's do it! Wagahai-chan!"

Her heart leapt at the joyous voice that suddenly echoed from behind.

At the same time as she hurriedly looked back, a beautiful girl appeared.

"Kya!"

"Hey! Neko!"

"It smells delicious!"

The beautiful girl rubbed her face against her chest with a fascinating expression. She was a beautiful girl that couldn't be fooled.

Stunning strange blue and gold eyes on white skin. Long straight light red hair.

A boy with silver-white hair and tender eyes with sunrise color approached her, who was surprised and hardened, and apologized, clasping his hands in front of her face.

"I'm sorry. Stop it, Neko!"

Then that girl with sincere and kind eyes, stood in front of her and smiled at her in a friendly way.

"You're here! No… I searched here and there and finally found it~"

"Um...?"

When she tilted her head, she gave a stern look for a moment, but immediately smiled, "Oh, I'm sorry.", and pointed to her face.

"I haven't introduced myself yet! I'm Kukuri Yukizome, from the same sophomore group as you."

"Yukizome-san."

"Call me Kukuri. My teacher asked me to guide the transfer student to the school. They told me you should be in the school principal's office, but when I went, he said you had already left. I looked for you, but couldn't find you, so I finally got help from Shiro-kun and Wagahai-chan!"

"Eh...? Oh! I'm sorry. Sorry to bother you."

"You don't have to apologize. Oh, yeah. May I ask your name?"

"Ah. Sorry. I'll introduce myself. I'm Konohana Saya."

"Uh, Saya-chan. Yes, I remember. Nice to meet you, Saya-chan!"

"Uh, yeah, nice to meet you..."

She held the outstretched hand enthusiastically.

"He is Isana Shiro-kun. And she..."

"Wagahai, I'm Neko!"

When Kukuri presented her with her hand, the beautiful girl responded happily, staying close to her.

"Shiro-kun and Wagahai-chan are the same second group as us."

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yeah, so you don't have to use "-kun" or "-san" for me or for Neko. It tickles. I hope you can feel free to call us "Neko" and "Shiro" and talk to us."

Shiro, a silver-white haired boy, smiled kindly.

"Oh, thank you. Nice to meet you."

In some ways it was a good self-introduction. Feeling happy that she could do that, she looked at Shiro and tilted my head away from him, saying, "Well then let's get started..."

"That... I'm really enjoying it... What?"

Neko was still glued to her.

"Eh? Ah... Stop it, Neko. She's not food."

"Nya, don't you know, Shiro? Gohan smells delicious!"

Shiro scolded Neko, but she held on even more.

(Yeah? Huh? Wait! Now Neko-chan, did you say "Gohan smells delicious"? Isn't that "Gohan smells delicious"?), she thought.

What did that mean?

"Eh? Maybe that 'Gohan' is me?"

"Yeah! Gohan smells like Gohan, I love it! That's why you're Gohan!"

Kukuri and Shiro laughed at Neko's cheerful response.

"Wagahai-chan... Gohan..."

"Ah, Konohana-san. Neko is not good at remembering people's names. She does not do it with bad intentions."

"Huh? Oh, it's fine."

Smell Gohan...? Did it mean she smelled strange?

She sorry about the situation, but she wasn't sure.

"Shiro! I'm hungry, let's go with Gohan! I want to go to the shopping department!"

Eh? Purchasing department?

"This is not good, Wagahai-chan. We have a class from now on."

"Hm..."

Kukuri urged her to walk, Neko kept holding on.

"Then as I guide you to the classroom, first lesson. Don't forget your student ID card. Make sure you take it with you. You will need it to do anything, like walk through the front door, to borrow a book or buy juice, etc."

"Is it okay to use this PDA as a student ID card?"

Kukuri smirked when she took out the PDA with a big school emblem on it.

"Yes, it is. Don't forget it. Even outside of school. Always carry it with you."

"Out of the School?"

"Yes. I go in and out of school, in and out of the school island and I also use transportation. It is also proof of identity."

"School island..."

"Yes! Ashinaka, an integrated education school from kindergarten to university. This island centered around that school is called "Ashinaka Super School". Someday I will show you the city."

"Yes, I see. Thank you."

"But first of all, you have to remember the inside of this school. At the beginning of registration, everyone does it once."

"I get lost and I'm late for class. How many times has this happened to you, Saya-chan?"

Kukuri smiled as if she was joking.

"Uh... I'll have to. I'm not very good at that though."

"Well, it happens to me too, and I think it would be good if you were guided by the PDA at first."

Kukuri hit her on the back when she immediately fell into anxiety.

"It's late, where were they and what were they doing?"

As soon as she entered the classroom, a grumpy voice jumped at her ears. Reflectively, she leaned in and said, "Yes, I'm sorry!"

Right after that, there was a terrible voice that said, "What?"

When she raised her face, the boy in front of her with his beautiful black hair was mysteriously frowning.

"I didn't tell you. Who are you?"

"Well, I am Konohana Saya. I will be in this class from today."

"As of today... By the way, the transfer student that Shiro was talking about is you."

The boy was convinced and then bowed deeply.

"I am Kuroh Yatogami. As a classmate, thank for you continued support."

(Wow. It's very difficult... no. Kind regards!), she thought.

In haste, she bowed firmly.

"Yes, thanks."

Yatogami spoke very firmly. The atmosphere was also mature.

"It's difficult. Kuro. It's not a classmate's greeting."

"You should pay the courtesy. Did you both do your homework well?"

Responding to Shiro's words with a serious face, Yatogami narrowed his eyes.

"I'm not going to do it. I'm going to show Kuro's homework."

"What are you saying? Try to do things yourself responsibly. I definitely won't show it to you!"

"Tsk, stingy Kuro."

"That's not the problem. If you have time to bark, does your homework."

Yatogami, who scolded him in a stifled manner, is forgiven with a "Yes, yes.", and Shiro urged Neko to gently walk towards her seat. Furthermore, his face was distorted again, and Yatogami followed them. It was kind of funny.

"Hey, Kukuri-chan. Is 'Kuro' a nickname for Yatogami-kun?"

"That's right. Shiro-kun, Kuro-kun, a black and white duo. He's a good friend with club activities. Now, Saya-chan, I'll introduce you to everyone. Here and there."

Kukuri motioned for her to come.

She headed forward, following her. No, she tries to continue.

"Kamamoto! What are you doing? Come quickly!"

Suddenly, a voice echoed with rough footsteps. Immediately after, the impact on her back.

"Gah!"

She couldn't stop myself from the momentum, she lost her balance and fell.

"Ah, Saya-chan! Are you okay?"

Kukuri's voice was amazing. Oh, it wasn't so good... maybe. It hurt a lot.

However, the person who rushed inside was also worried, and as tears welled up from the pain in her back, hands, and knees, she managed to lift her upper body and look back.

"It hurts... hey... Who is this guy standing in the doorway?!"

There was a boy there, who seemed to have struck like her, lying on the ground.

He had the front of the black school uniform open, the shirt with two buttons unbuttoned, and the hem out. Also, a dark blue hat and the usual auburn hair that twisted in any direction.

The boy, who didn't seem to be polite, looked at her as he rubbed the area around his waist in excruciating pain and cursed.

"Ah…"

His wild and warlike eyes stared directly at the opponent.

It was a terrible, gaudy flame, and she couldn't help but lose her words.

The boy looked at her too and his eyes widened, astonishing for some reason.

"No, Yata-san, it's early. We still have time until class... That? Yata-san. Why are you sitting on the floor?"

A big boy who came running in with a plaintive voice, bowed his head when he saw him sitting on the ground, and looked at each other.

As the words surprised him, the boy named Yata shook himself and looked at the boy who was looking at them.

"Silly! I'm not sitting! This is... an accident!"

"Accident? Ah... I don't know, but why don't you get up for now?"

"No, you don't have to tell me! Hey, Kamamoto... do it."

"Yes?"

A big boy named Kamamoto bowed his head and asked again at Yata's small voice. Oh, but he thought he couldn't be helped. It was a very small voice.

However, he maybe didn't like him, and when Yata suddenly stood up, he gave Kamamoto a blow to the head. She was surprised.

"Eh?!"

"Why do you hit me?"

"I cannot hear you!"

No, she didn't think he didn't hear him, did he really not hear it?

(Huh? What? This "Yata" is extremely unreasonable.), she thought.

"That's right. I couldn't hear it, so it can't be helped."

When stunned, Kamamoto made a very natural counterargument. Yes, she understood that feeling very well.

"Uh, loud. Well, that... helps the woman..."

"Woman? Ah! Is that what you mean?"

Kamamoto laughed as if he were convinced, and walked over to her, knelt on the ground, and held out his hand.

"Yata-san pushed you. Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?"

"Ah... I'm fine."

She wanted to say, maybe it was worse. She was standing in front of the door. She apologized and bowed, and looked at the black sunglasses.

"Oh, you are..."

"Hmm? Oh, this is Rikio Kamamoto from the second year group. This is Misaki Yata, who is also in the same group."

Kamamoto laughed as he gently helped her.

"Ah! Hey, Kamamoto! Silly, don't introduce me without permission!"

Yata yelled at Kamamoto, who was gentle and kind regardless of his appearance. There was no reason to be angry about that presentation.

"Because you are Yata-san, it seems unlikely that you will introduce yourself."

"That's... sorry."

She was confused.

"But don't sell my name at a bargain price."

"It's the first time I've seen you, are you a girl from another class?"

Kamamoto finally ignored Yata, who was still screaming. Apparently he was fine.

When she said, "No, I'm not.", unsurprisingly, Yata yelled, "Damn, listen to me!". That was to be expected.

"Excuse me!"

"Oh! Don't look here and there!"

She hastily apologized, but this time Yata, who turned his face bright red and turned around, yelled again.

"Eh? Oh, sorry! I see..."

"No, don't apologize! Oh, you're ... wow, not bad..."

(Huh? Is that so? Not bad?), she thought.

When she looked at Kamamoto because she couldn't understand why, Kamamoto shrugged and shook his head.

"Ah, don't worry. Yata-san is not good with girls."

(Is that so?), she thought.

He was not good with girls. Still, it was the first time she had seen a person overreact.

"Then?"

"Ah! Konohana Saya, I'll stay in this class. Well, it's nice to meet you. May I call you Kamamoto-kun?"

"Thanks. I don't care. Call me what you want."

She was relieved to hear a friendly response.

"Yes. Yata-kun too."

"Eh? Me too?"

"Yes, I hope you get along well."

"Eh? Who is that? Who are you talking about!"

At that moment, Yata blushed again and turned to the other side. He didn't have the ability to learn, so he kept having the conversation in front of the entrance. So of course he would get in the way of people trying to enter the classroom.

The person who walked in pushed his back away, and Yata looked back with a grumpy voice, "Oh?"

"Misaki. Don't occupy the entrance of the classroom for one person, even a little."

"Saru, damn it!"

(Saru? Is this person's nickname?), she thought.

His clean eyebrows were unpleasantly distorted and his black eyes were very thoughtful.

Black hair in habit and black-rimmed glasses. A pure white school uniform with a slightly loose chest. He had a mark on his arm, she wondered what the blue bracelet meant.

"……!"

And a saber with a blue scabbard at his waist.

She didn't think it was necessary for school life and widened her eyes in amazement.

(Huh? What? That... why is he wearing such a thing?), she thought.

Involuntarily he looked at her seriously, the next moment, she quickly bowed her head.

"Ah, I am Konohana Saya, a transfer student. Thank you!"

What came back was complete silence.

"That…"

When she lifted her face, an icy look shot through her.

"Stop doing that, it's annoying."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

She strongly apologized and got out of the way.

That person just tried to slide past her.

"Hey, wait, Saru. You must introduce yourself."

Yata threw a harsh voice behind him.

The man, named Saru, shook his shoulders and looked back in amazement.

"What? Did you introduce yourself?"

He frowned repeatedly as if he didn't understand why.

"Don't send nonsense things. Misaki."

"It's not meaningless. We are her new partners. It's normal to introduce himself."

Long ago, he said that he wouldn't show up either.

She really wanted to know, but she was scared, so she shut her mouth.

"Or you can't even introduce yourself. Hmm, you're a boy."

When he decided to stand idly by, it was a terrible word that came out of Yata's mouth.

(Huh?! Wait. It's not about forcing him to fight, is it?!), she thought.

Saru clicked his tongue as the story seemed to roll in an unexpected direction.

And when he sighed like a deaf person, he echoed and coughed.

"Fushimi Saruhiko."

"Hmm...! Yes. Thank you, Fushimi-san."

He left before she finished saying it. He made her feel uncomfortable.

"Geez. Monkey bastard, you can just say your name so honestly."

Yata was upset and amazed. Why would be?

"Even Yata-san was mad at me when I introduced myself, wasn't he?"

Before she said more, Kamamoto stabbed a sickle firmly. "That's it! That's it!"

"Oh, that's it... You can say it after getting permission!"

He made a painful excuse and said, "Kamamoto, let's go quickly."

After that, Kamamoto ran and followed him.

"Eh?"

It was as if a storm had passed.

After dismissing Yata and other young men, she looked at Kukuri and took control powerlessly.

++++++++++

"Rice! Rice! Kurosuke's homemade rice! Shiro! Let's eat rice!"

"Yes. Let's go out because the weather is good today."

"Hurrah!"

"Don't rock your lunch! The contents will fall apart!"

It was noon. Around the same time the bell rang, Neko stood up, and Shiro and Yatogami left the classroom following her. As she smiled and said goodbye, Kukuri reached over and touched her desk.

"Shall we go to the coffee shop? You didn't bring any food, did you?"

"Yeah. Oh, but it's okay to be alone. That's Kukuri-chan's lunch box, right? I think I can get to the coffee shop if I have a navigation system."

"Yes! But let me go with you. I also want to tell you the location of the shopping department. And if I get lost early on the first day, my name as a guide will be spoiled, right?"

"Okay, then, I'll be attentive to your words. Thank you."

"No! What? Then let's go together!"

Kukuri started walking with a joyous cry. She got up and followed her.

"There are several ways to get to the coffee shop, but the best is through the courtyard."

"Courtyard?"

"Yes. Therefore, I would not recommend going down these stairs immediately, on a limited menu day. Because the purchase is established in several places."

(Huh? Limited menu?), she thought.

She got out a word she didn't expect, and instinctively looked at Kukuri.

"Eh? Did you buy it now?"

"Yes, it is a strategy to expel the rivals. Lunch is one of the joys for the students, so everyone is desperate."

No, that was correct. She thought it was the same in all schools, but what did it mean to expel rivals?

(She said it's natural, but that? It's weird, I don't understand. Well, that shouldn't be the case, right?), she thought.

As she twisted her neck, she went downstairs with Kukuri and pushed open the glass door that led down the hall to the courtyard.

There was a neat flowerbed with colorful flowers in every corner. The fresh green of the plantation was also nice.

Light pink petals fluttered from the beautiful and splendid cherry blossoms. The white garden table and chairs underneath were fascinating. It would be great to enjoy her lunch there.

Kukuri, who was leading the way through the large and beautiful courtyard where such garbage had not fallen, stopped and shrugged, "Oh, no. Sorry. I can't go through here."

"Eh? Why?"

Kukuri pointed to the front, saying "That.". For the first time, she realized that there were many people gathered there, since she was looking at other things before.

And, well... it didn't seem like a good atmosphere. Yes. It was extremely unsettling.

A group in black school uniforms and a group in white school uniforms staring at each other.

People wearing black school uniforms didn't seem polite. On the other hand, many people who wore white school uniforms had the impression of looking tight. They felt like honor students.

But after all, there was a blue scabbard saber at the waist. What was that?

"Kukuri-chan? They seem to be staring at each other, but what the hell are they doing?"

"It's a conflict!"

"Eh?"

Too simple an answer that made her doubt her ears.

(Huh? Did she say a conflict?), she thought.

"Conflict... is that a fight?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"Well why are the students fighting?"

"Fufu, I haven't seen a person react this way in a long time. It's okay. You'll be surprised at first, but you'll get used to it. It's the usual thing."

(Is it okay to get used to it?), she thought.

Also, as usual, she thought conflict was something that shouldn't become a daily routine. No, nothing was becoming a daily routine, first of all, there was a conflict within the school.

She was confused by the images and words that were far from common sense.

However, when she looked around, there were people who were looking far away, but no one was surprised or made noise, so Kukuri's reaction was correct.

(Hmm. Common sense in this school is a bit strange.) she thought.

Struggling to understand, she returned to a group of gazes.

"Uh... that? Yata-kun and Kamamoto-kun are there too? Besides, Fushimi-kun."

"That's right. Yata-kun and Kamamoto-kun are in the Red club, and Fushimi-kun is in the Blue club."

"Eh? Red club and Blue club? What's that?"

Kukuri laughed and explained with good humor.

"It is a special activity of the club. It is one of the characteristics of this school."

"Special club activities?"

"That's right. There are seven special club activities at this school in addition to the regular club activities. Two of them are from the Red and Blue club. Special club activities, because when you join the club, you can use special abilities. It's very popular with students, because the word "special ability" is great, right? But only the "chosen ones" recognized by each director can join the club."

The word "special ability" surprised her.

"Only the chosen ones...?"

"Yes. Not everyone can get in. In that sense, it's "special". The Red club wears that black school uniform. Most of the Red club members are bad. However, "it's not that way" bad, so it is accepted by students in general."

Eh? Were they bad, but not evil? She didn't understand anything.

"But it's not all bad things. How to put it? I think those people are not good at keeping up with everyone. People who go their own way are the best. Maybe it's close. The director is Mikoto Suoh, a student third year. He's also the head of the Red club and he's very strong. You see, that red-haired person next to Yata-kun."

Kukuri pointed at the person in the middle of the black group with her finger.

His red eyes were eerily sharp. Tense and sad cheeks.

Did she say he was older? Charismatic? Regardless, his presence was astonishing.

"The Blue club wear a white school uniform. Excellent grades, good behavior. Most of the members are super elite groups that also serve as officers of student organizations and members of the disciplinary committee. The activities are the maintenance of discipline, the orientation of the students, it feels like they are always leading the students in a disciplined way, like leading events at school, so it seems like they are not on good terms with the Red club from one point of view."

Even though she said, "That's correct.", she frowned at the explanation.

(Good behavior... Eh? I'm sure I'm the only one who thinks that carrying a gun to kill people around your waist doesn't mean being good.), she thought.

"The director of the Azul club is Reisi Munakata, a third year student. The director of the Student Organization Within the School, the whereabouts of the Great Myojin!"

The central figure in the white group that Kukuri continued to display was, yes, like "Shinsei Seidai Myojin".

Sharp glasses with calm and cool eyes. He listened to the Red Club swearing with a sweet smile on his lips, as if he were listening to classical music.

"That's why I can't go through here. I'm just looking at it now, but it seems to be getting a little warm, and it is."

"Monkey! Bastard, say it again!"

A loud voice echoed across the courtyard as if to block Kukuri's words. It was Yata's voice.

When he breathes and look back, Fushimi, who looked away, laughed vividly.

"Oh, I'll tell you many times. Your power is below mine. Mi-Sa-Ki."

Delighted, terribly happy, growling and despising people. His smile gave her chills.

(What? That look.), she thought.

"I can't take it! I'll take you down!"

Yata jumped, dyeing his eyes with fierce fury.

"Wow. It's started. That's it for the special part. I'm hungry, can we go quickly?"

Kukuri wanted to leave in a hurry, but she couldn't answer.

She was fascinated by the flames, which had arisen from Yata's hands.

"Saya-chan?"

The shape was slightly different, but all the people in the Red club could easily create a flame and target the Blue club. Those of the Blue club also took out their sabers one after another to defend themselves. There was a blue light on the blade.

Involuntarily, she looks at her hands.

(That's a special ability. So my thing is...), she thought.

"Saya-chan!"

Her shoulders shook and she suddenly came back to herself.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Because it's dangerous here. Shall we go?"

"Yes."

At that moment, Kukuri urged her on and looked back quickly.

Yes, that was exactly a fight. Other students in the courtyard were screaming.

"Ah...!"

When she looked back, the first thing she saw was a knife with a red lotus flame approaching them. And that last moment, she didn't have time to think about anything.

"Kukuri-chan, it's dangerous!"

Kukuri's body moved quickly. At that moment, a flash of light enveloped her.

Light was pouring out of her limbs and she couldn't open her eyes.

"Ah...!"

At the same time, there was a tremendous destructive sound.

But that was only a moment, and soon... the light disappeared like a lie.

The knife that should have flown there was also annihilated.

"Kukuri-chan, are you hurt?"

"No. I'm fine. It's nothing, but..."

Kukuri was in her arms and responded with a confused look.

"Hey. The light is coming out of your body, Saya-chan, but..."

The words surprised her. She quickly released Kukuri and looked at her hands.

Both hands had a vague white light. Her whole body was in that state. Yes. It was as if she herself was emitting light.

A cold thing crept up her back.

(This is the same as before...!), she thought.

When she looked around her in a hurry, the stone pavement was severely broken and only around her. It was as if it had been crushed by a heavy machine.

It appeared that there was no damage to the school building. The surrounding students were also safe. Just around her and Kukuri, the stone pavement was broken, scraped, and tiled as if a circle had been drawn around her.

"Ah...!"

The blood suddenly disappeared. She shook back and hugged herself.

(What do I have to do! In this school, I decided to be careful not to be like this! I don't want to think like that again. Therefore, I controlled myself so as not to disturb anyone, only in a discreet and silent way. Quiet so as not to make waves. I thought she was calm!), she thought.

"What's that?"

Kukuri's question brought her back to herself.

"This is..."

"You are a 'Strain', aren't you?"

A sweet, low and gentle voice resonated with the usual sound of his shoes.

When she took a breath and looked around her, the person who was there was Reisi Munakata, the director of the Blue club and the director of the Student Organization within the school.

In his hand was a sword that glowed pale.

"A "Strain"...?"

"Yes. People with innate special abilities are called 'Strains'."

With that said, he placed the saber in the scabbard and pulled up his goggles.

"The power of a "Strain" sometimes hurts people."

A painful memory crossed her mind.

Munakata stared at her with a distorted face, a smile on his lips.

"It is also our role to take strong measures to prevent this from happening. The day before yesterday, there was a report that a 'Strain' had entered the island, but are you the transfer student?"

With a rattling noise, Munakata took a step closer to her. She turned and took a step back.

"The birth of a talented person off this island is infinitely equal to zero."

"Ah, that, I..."

"In other words, the exception is that you are a 'Strain'... Transfer student Konohana Saya. If you don't resist, nothing bad will happen. Shut up and give up quickly."

As usual, a soft, sweet smile on his lips.

However, there was a sharp, dignified light in his eyes behind his glasses, and she was frightened by the power of it.

Taking a step back, Munakata narrowed his eyes slightly and held out his hand.

"Come here."

"Oh, I..."

At that moment, a flame struck behind Munakata.

At the moment of shouting, Munakata drew his saber and turned around to block the flame.

"She didn't do anything wrong, that's why she shouldn't give up."

Suoh pointed his flaming hand towards Munakata.

"I reject you, I keep the woman."

"Well, it's rare that you are interested in others."

"Yes. If you think so, give it to me."

Munakata responded to Suoh's fearless smile with a graceful and gentle smile.

"No. If you're interested, I can't quit."

Then, he turned the saber, which was reflecting the sunlight, directly towards Suoh.

"She is an irregular person and I want her to be within my grasp."

"If so, can I get it by force?"

"You are still a barbarian. If so, here too. All members, get ready!"

A sharp command. The people from the Blue club, a group in white school uniforms, responded immediately.

The fight started again. Ahead of her, Munakata looked back and reached out quickly.

"This time. Come with me."

"Oh, I..."

(What do I have to do?), she thought.

"I won't let you do that."

At that moment, she shook his throat and took another step back. It was unexpected. A voice was heard from above.

It was around the same time that she was surprised to look up at the sky and Munakata flew back quickly and brilliantly.

Immediately afterwards, someone fell to the place where Munakata was.

Black hair blowing in the wind. A Japanese sword that pierced the sky gleamed in the sunlight.

"No, Yatogami-kun!"

Yatogami stood up with her on her back. At the same time, behind the scenes, "Kukuri, are you okay?"

Looking back, she wondered when Shiro and Neko would arrive.

"This girl's security is in charge of the 'Silver Club'."

"Huh? What was that?"

"Don't get me wrong. It's temporary. I'm not trying to force you into anything. The Silver club is different from the Blue club."

Holding a Japanese sword, Yatogami looked at Suoh.

With a pon, Shiro tapped his shoulder, staring at the two people who were abruptly facing each other.

"Shiro-kun... that, I..."

"Yes. You were scared. It's okay. Leave it to me."

She wrinkled her head and was relieved by his soft hands.

"I'll give you a lot of explanations later. Let's escape for the moment. Kuro!"

"Yes."

"Huh?"

Yatogami, who had great strength, put his Japanese sword in the sheath and picked them both up.

She was surprised by the sudden movement and blushed shaking her limbs. But that was not the end.

Yatogami suddenly made a gesture like throwing something at the school building. A kind of power. They then took off from the ground at tremendous speed, dragged by invisible forces.

"Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Involuntarily clinging to Yatogami, she closed her eyes tightly.

(What the hell is going on ?!), she thought.

A terrible wind violently shook her hair.

As it was, she and Yatogami were thrown into the sky.

"Are you okay?"

When she opened her eyes slightly to his voice, in front of her was a bowl of rice and canned juice.

She was lying in her bedroom, and when she wobbled her upper body, she wrapped the juice in her hands and exhaled the air into her lungs in one go.

She had terrible eyes...

He jumps from the courtyard to the roof of the school building. From there, he jumped to another building, and then jumped from the height at which she would normally die. She didn't want to experience it again. Bungee without lifeline.

he ran further and brought her to an empty classroom in a building she had not yet entered.

That classroom was generally locked and used only for special occasions.

Yatogami, who opened the key easily, lowered her gently on the chair and went somewhere to buy that.

"The whites should be here soon. Drink it first and calm down."

"Yes, thanks."

She lifted the lid and hydrated her throat with the cold juice.

Her fingers were still trembling. Oh, but the sweetness of her made her feel relaxed. The moment she took a breath, the door opened and Shiro's cheerful voice echoed through the room.

"Kuro, thank you for your hard work! Konohana-san, are you okay?"

"Yes. Somehow... Thanks for your help."

When she thanked him, Shiro smiled and sat down on his seat next to her.

"It was nothing. It was a disaster from the first day of move-in."

"That's right. Up to that point, it's not as good as it is."

"Hmmm, not enough!"

Shiro smiled bitterly, Yatogami was serious and Neko replied cheerfully. It was no different from when they had a conversation that morning.

On the contrary, it seemed strange in her eyes and she frowned inadvertently.

"Are all three scared?"

Maybe it didn't make sense, everyone went through trouble because of it.

"What is scary? The Red club and the Blue club?"

"No, that's not it. It's about me."

"Monster," she remembers the shock when they told her that.

Her heart was anxious. Her throat screeched and she squeezed her breast with her hand.

"I have a power that ordinary people don't have. That caused a lot of trouble around me and I couldn't stay at the old school."

No. It was a nuisance. It wasn't pretty at all.

Like Munakata said, she hurts people.

"I was thinking of living like an ordinary person in this school. I decided to hide my abilities. I would never let my abilities skyrocket."

A string of light. A terrible destructive sound. A knife that disappeared like dust. The ground that had been crushed. A stone pavement that broke and turned into pieces. Remembering that, she involuntarily hugged herself.

"I didn't know I had this power. It was sudden. When I realized it, the school building was a mess."

She will never forget it, it was unforgettable. The scene at that time would be for life.

Whether in a major earthquake or bombing, a part of the school building was ruined and turned to rubble.

Students fleeing. A bloodstained towel. And…

"Then my friends became hostile and no one looked at me."

A mixed look of surprise and fear towards her. It quickly turned into disgust.

Neither her friends, her classmates nor her superiors were looking at her. They didn't try to get involved. Even the teacher looked away from her.

Even her family was scared and she started looking at her all the time. If she was in a bad mood, that house would be destroyed next. Her parents thought they might be attacked.

She lost everything that was important at the time.

That's why she was thinking that she had done it again. Also, on the first day of transfer.

Here she too had become a "monster".

"Oh... I have to find a new school again..."

"Eh? You don't have to. You'll be fine here."

"Why? I can't stay here anymore!"

"So? You run away every time you use your power? What the hell? Isn't that stupid?"

"Ah...!"

Suddenly, the classroom door opened and a grumpy voice echoed, interrupting her words.

When she looked around her, he was standing there, Fushimi, who had a distorted face that looked annoyed.

"Fuwah! What are you doing? I don't like you, Glasses!"

Neko looked threatening, and Fushimi said, "I have no business with you. My purpose is that woman.".

"Huh? I?"

His eyes without heat surprised her. At his waist, the saber made a loud noise.

"If you try to carry out the principal's order, it's a disaster. Wow. This is the collapse of the school building."

(Did the school building collapse?), she thought.

"Guh..."

"Up to that point, even a fool like Domyoji can do it."

"What did you say?"

"He's a member of the Blue club. Of course, I can do it too. It's easy. I just don't do it because it's hard to clean."

(Is it easy...?), she thought.

"That's right."

"Believe it or not, it's up to you. If you want to do it, run away. If there is another school where people can easily tear down the school building."

"Eh…?"

(What does that mean...? Is he trying to reassure me? I don't understand the meaning and his eyes are scary.), she thought.

With a particularly gentle smile, Shiro yelled.

"Yes. As Fushimi says. Konohana-san doesn't have to run away from this school at all. Rather, it's the opposite."

"Quite the opposite?"

"Yes, I think it's right for you. Ashinaka Super School is a school where talented people gather."

"Eh…? Talented?"

"Huh? Special club activities. Didn't you ask someone? Red club, Blue club, etc."

"Well, I heard that from Kukuri-chan."

But that was a story that when you enter a special club, you will be able to use special abilities, isn't it that people with abilities will gather in this school?

When she said that, Fushimi clicked his tongue.

"Eh? That…"

"Well, it's a relationship. Is it that important if the ability is innate or acquired? It's the same in terms of ability."

"Hmm...! Same thing? With me?"

"Did you say that? It's not unusual for a talented person. Because all the guys who belong to the special club are talented people. So, in this school, no one discriminates against talented people. You'll run away from here, where will you go?"

"Ah! No one discriminates?"

"That's right. Well, it seems that Strains are rarely born outside of Gakuenjima, and I think you're different in that sense, but I don't care because all talented people are weird in the first place. Maybe everyone doesn't care either. You can live. normally here. No, I should say that here. You think so too, right Yata-kun?"

"Eh?"

When she was surprised by Shiro's words and ran her eyes towards the door, Yata with a bitter face appeared with a smile on his cheek.

"Don't hide and listen, come out."

"It is urgent."

"Yata-kun..."

"Did you come worried? Or did Suoh tell you to come see what happened? Well, anyway... Konohana-san. Everyone here has special abilities."

"Eh? And Shiro-kun? Neko-chan?"

"Yes. Because we are the Silver club. Fushimi-kun is from the Blue club. Yata-kun is from the Red club. We are all a special department. And Neko is also a Strain. You know what that means, right?"

Words like dreams invaded her.

Was it serious? Wasn't it a lie? Was it really the case?

"Don't I have to run away?"

Wasn't it a dream or an illusion?

"I can stay here?"

Fushimi responded to the words, as he groaned.

"You should like it, right? You're not the only one with a skill anyway."

"Ah!"

She was not alone.

She takes a breath and stare at Fushimi.

She wasn't the only one who had an "ability", he said, but he probably just stated objective facts, but why? She felt that she could get closer to that person. She thought that he could understand the loneliness that had been in her heart since that day.

Suddenly, the tears overflowed.

When she clasped her hands, she hid her teary eyes from him.

It was unbelievable. Because that day she changed her life completely. She had experienced it. She was hurt and suffered. She was still in her mind very clearly that vivid memory.

(Oh, but! However, I'm not alone!), she thought.

"Ah!"

Great tears were shed. She covered her mouth with both hands and looked up. She was not alone.

"Ah...!"

The truth is that she did not want to run away. She wanted a place to stay.

(I don't want to be a "monster". I'm so scared of myself! I don't want to be left alone in the dark without anyone understanding me!), she thought.

"Huh... uh..."

She was not alone. She could stay there.

His words made her tremble. Her heart was full and she couldn't say anything else.

Like a little girl crying.

The opening bell rang on the way, but everyone was there without saying anything.

Fushimi, who should always be a member of the Blue club guiding the students in a disciplined manner, remained silent.

"Still, I wonder what Konohana-san's ability is. She disintegrates the knife."

Seeing that she had calmed down a bit, Shiro said that and looked at Yatogami.

"Konohana-san, you don't understand it too, do you?"

"Yes. When I tried to help Kukuri-chan, it turned out to be like that. Anyway, I'm scared of myself."

"Are you a Strain who does not know your own strength and cannot control it? You are an object of observation that the Blue club seems to like."

He shook his head and looked at her to explain, Yatogami really did say what he was thinking.

The disturbing sound of his words made her shiver.

"Object of observation?"

"Mmm, Kuro. Don't scare her."

"But it's true. The Blue club will not give up on this. It will take aim again."

With that said, Yatogami looked at Fushimi.

"It sounds good for the order of the school, but the Blue club does not choose the means."

"Good. I will definitely come again. But I think that will be only if she doesn't belong to any club. If Konohana-san joins the special club herself, I'm sure it will be a different story."

"It's true?"

"Yes. The director and members will protect you as companions, I'm sure they will find out what your abilities are, and I think they will teach you how to manipulate your abilities properly. No one wants you to escape. You may have been afraid of suddenly giving up, but Munakata-senpai didn't try to hurt you. The ability is really difficult to handle. Apparently, you didn't seem to be able to control your abilities, right? So Munakata-senpai and Suoh-senpai tried to protect you no matter how they did it."

"Eh? Protect me?"

"Yes. Protected by the club. Before it affects the school and the general public. Only talented people can repress talented people."

"So if you join the special club and learn to know and control your skills alongside people who understand you..."

"The Blue club will not attack you. You will no longer be a 'dangerous Strain whose abilities are out of control', do you understand? Do you want to be part of the Silver club? Me and Kuro will protect you, and we slowly elucidate your abilities."

"Join the Silver club?"

Fushimi, who had been listening to the story silently until then, clicked his tongue and looked at Shiro. Yata looked at him too. Scared by both of them, Shiro shrugged and said, "How scary."

"Well, it seems that both the Red club and the Blue club want to protect you, but, anyway, if you join the special club, your situation will improve in various ways."

"Kuro-kun..."

"Think carefully. Konohana-san, you must decide your future school life."

++++++++++

"I'm smart!"

"Wow! Yes! Sorry!"

As soon as she opened the bedroom door, she was scolded and apologized.

Eh? But, wait? Why did she have to open the door to her room and apologize?

"Oh, that's right. You?"

She raised her face and sighed at the robot that was sitting there.

It was one of the robots that cleaned the entire school island, as well as the school building and dormitory. The samurai tone was quite cute. When she stepped aside, he left the room and said, "I'm tall!"

She looked at him, she closed the door and got into bed.

"Oh! I'm tired!"

After skipping class for an hour, she returned to the classroom, but she stopped in front of the door as she was scared. What would she do if they looked at you strangely?

But, in conclusion, she didn't have to worry about it at all.

Kukuri, who found her writhing in front of the door, came out to pick her up.

"Thanks for your help on the courtyard. I'm sorry I couldn't thank you right away."

Kukuri told her that and laughed.

When she asked her: "Am I not disgusting?", Kukuri responded by beating her chest: "I don't think so at all. You were like an ally of justice and it was cute. You are a life saver; you should not feel bad. Tell me if there is someone who annoys you! I'm not good with violence, but I will persuade him.". Oh, that really made her happy.

The look and attitudes of the other colleagues did not change, but made her shine, saying: "You are incredible." The exact opposite of the previous school. But it may be that she used to hurt people with her abilities, and this time she protected people with her abilities.

She finally she was relieved to hear everyone's reaction.

Then she cries again.

Kukuri hugged her, "Don't cry." She patted her head and hit her on the shoulder.

She was so happy to see everyone's comfort and she was so excited that she cried even more.

"Special club activities, huh?"

She holding the cushion she lay on her back. She looked at the ceiling and coughed.

They all accepted her as she displayed her abilities. It was soft and warm.

She was really happy. If she took it easy, she might inadvertently shed tears.

But her power could hurt others. What would she do if she lost control again? She wanted to protect everyone from herself. So she had to know her ability and how to control it.

"Shiro-kun's Silver club."

She looked at the ceiling thoughtfully as if to confirm it.

"The Red club with Yata-kun and Kamamoto-kun."

She got up gently.

She watched the terrifying red sunset shining through the window and clenched her fist tightly.

"Fushimi-kun is in the Blue club."

++++++++++

"I am Reisi Munakata. I am the director of the Azul club and director of the Student Organization at this school."

"I am Konohana Saya. Thanks again!"

Munakata introduced himself again. She was nervous and bowed deeply.

After school, the next day. She was in front of the Blue club room building, commonly known as "Scepter 4".

A majestic building that looked like a palace. A solid and wide entrance. The thick columns were lined up on both sides and the top was a large balcony with a large sliding window. And there are perfectly symmetrical wings left and right, centered on the part of the triangular roof that it had.

Was this the Blue club building? Were they using this whole building for the club? A member of the Blue club, who was completely overwhelmed and found her wandering the oversized open space in front of the building, led her to the principal's office. He explained to her that it was a relocation of an old western style building in a foreign French Renaissance style.

She maybe thought it was good, but it was completely counterproductive. "This is not a good place to be!". She was scared, and about to turn around and run. Managed to stop herself.

The member of the Blue club knocked on the door.

She was sure that at Shiro's Silver club she could have a relaxing time. That is exactly what she originally wanted, a quiet and peaceful place.

Yesterday after school, Totsuka Tatara, who was a third year student in the Red club, came to the classroom and gave her a dessert made by Izumo Kusanagi, a manager in the Red club. She apologized. And the dessert was really delicious.

So she was sure that he could take good care of her, and she would have a good time.

But yes. That is why she decided to go to the Blue club.

While everyone was nice to her, only Munakata told her clearly.

"The power of a Strain sometimes hurts people."

"You are a Strain and I want to have you within my grasp."

About the danger of her ability. On the need for follow-up. Only that person told her.

She was scared at the time, but now she wanted to be an "object of observation" so that she could discover her abilities and learn to control them.

"Konohana Saya-san. Originally, you are a Strain, you must be monitored and protected to maintain order in this school."

In the headmaster's room, staring at her standing in front of a heavy desk, Munakata smiled and crossed his fingers.

His smile was sweet and gentle. However, his eyes were closed and there was no mercy.

So she could be safe there, she could trust him.

This person would not only protect her, he would also protect everyone from her.

"So, I'm glad you visited me. Welcome to the Blue club, Konohana Saya-san."

"Yes, thanks."

Again, she bowed deeply.

"Director."

Around the same time, the sound of banging echoed through the room. Then the sound of the door opening. She turned around to see.

"You calls me?"

It was Fushimi who entered. Noticing her, he clicked his tongue in the middle of the words and opened his eyes slightly.

"Oh, Fushimi-kun. I've been waiting for you. Here's Konohana-san."

"Huh? Oh, yes!"

"You were in the same class as her, right?"

Munakata smiled as he looked at her, she quickly returned her gaze to Munakata.

"Oh, yes. That's correct."

"That's right. Then I'll order Fushimi-kun to be an educator for Konohana-san."

"Eh?!"

"Eh?!"

"Hmm, Fushimi-kun?"

It seems like it was an unexpected word not only for her but also for Fushimi, who was shocked, and a click of the tongue was heard from behind.

However, should keep calling Munakata, director? The director did not seem particularly concerned about his reaction and continued his words with a smile.

"Please support her."

"Because I?"

"We need someone who is always close to her, who educates her to be suitable for the Blue club and able to deal quickly when her power gets out of control. You are the best in the same class."

He wondered if he couldn't argue with that, and after a while, he sighed and replied, "Ok."

Looking back, he really hated having to do it.

"So Konohana-san. I'm going to talk to Fushimi-kun. Thank you for your continued support."

"Ah, yes! Thank you very much!"

She bowed firmly to the director, thanked him, and turned her back on Fushimi as he walked out of the director's office.

"Um, sorry."

It didn't seem like Fushimi would agree to that task, so she didn't look back and apologized to Fushimi, who was walking steadily.

Then he replied, "It's not your fault. Besides, I will obey the director's decision."

His voice was a little soft, but he sounded very grumpy. She thought that Fushimi was really angry. But if she said something, would he ever get mad at her again?

She walked over to Fushimi, thought for a moment and leaned in, saying, "Well, okay then."

"Thanks."

The answer to that was his usual irony.

[barnibumblr]

No Secrets Among Sisters

Pairing: Ina x Lillian 

Summary: Following the incident in the bookstore, Ina confides in her sister about the nature of her relationship with Bea.  

Warnings: Just fluff! 

Word count: 2607 

Tagging: @ikingsley @kaitlynliaofanxx @kwaj115 @sheepmomther-personal @swimmingshoebakerydreamer

*** 

Ina knocks at the door, muttering to herself nervously “breathe Kingsley, just breathe”. Almost immediately a familiar voice rings out from inside, “coming!”.

The door swings open and Lillian stands on the step, smiling from ear to ear at the sight of her older sister. “Ina! Come in already, I was starting to forget what you looked like”, she teased. “Sorry Lil, I have been rather... Preoccupied”. She scolded herself internally as she stepped inside, ‘preoccupied?! Is that really all you could come up with?’.

The truth was that Ina had been avoiding her sister since the night at the Speakeasy and subsequently, finding out Bea was her student. The evasion wasn’t ignored. “So where’ve you been for the last three weeks? I thought you may have eloped for some illicit affair?” her sister joked, waving her hands dramatically as she headed for the kitchen. For a split second Ina froze, her mouth hanging wide open, she only hoped that Lillian’s choice of scenario was coincidental. ‘WITCHCRAFT’ she thought, ‘it’s the only plausible explanation’. Thankfully Ina had managed to compose herself when Lillian turned her attention back to her, “well?” she laughed.

Ina was no good at keeping secrets, the pair were close enough that Lillian would see straight through her and she was certainly no liar. There was a moment’s pause as Ina contemplated how to respond, she was almost consumed by the awkward silence when the youngest of the Kingsley women bound in to the room, “Auntie Inaaaaa”. Charlotte came running through, jumping straight in to Ina’s arms. “Oh how i’ve I missed these hugs” Ina exclaimed, whilst Charlotte all but squeezed the life out of her.

“Let’s get a good look at you” Ina said as she pulled back from Charlotte, turning her full circle and back to face her. Charlotte giggled as she went round, rolling her eyes as she lands back in front of her aunt. “Yes, you’ve definitely grown some” Ina concluded, eyes crinkling at the corners with the first heartfelt smile she had offered since arriving.

“Auntie Ina, will you come see my Lego? I’ve just finished building the Millennium Falcon!”. Charlotte was hopping on the spot in excitement, she really did take after her aunt when it came to her love of Star Wars. “I do really need to speak to Mummy a little first…” Ina started as she spared a glance at Lillian (who by now had stopped busying herself to listen), her attention was brought back to Charlotte when her shoulders visibly and quite dramatically deflated. “I have a mini Chewie?” Charlotte added, in a bid to sweeten the deal. Ina hummed, that’s when the young girl realised she needed to play her final card. ‘Is she giving me puppy dog eyes’ Ina thought to herself, internally appraising the mini genius, ‘oh god she is! Smooth move kid’. “You make an interesting offer little Kingsley” she finally answered.

Ina didn’t make a habit of saying no to her niece, she often felt the need to compensate for their lack of family, it really was just the three of them. That didn’t stop her milking it for what it was worth though, Ina convinced herself she was helping keep that super brain on it’s toes. “Do you think you could go get it ready and wait for me?” she finally caved, offering her pinky in promise. Charlotte smugly accepted before skipping back out the room.

Lillian moved to the table, “I’m guessing by your tone that I should probably sit down for this?” she asked. Ina couldn’t quite meet her sister’s eyes as she pulled out a chair “yes, that’s probably best”. Lillian shook her head, laughing silently “I knew something was off the moment you came in. You may have a PHD Ina Kingsley, but you are a terrible liar”. Ina finally looked up, “I am under no false illusion when it comes to my skills in lying” she replied, hands up in surrender. “However I really did think I had mastered the art of deflection!” She challenged, her expression mocking offence. “Not with me you haven’t” Lillian replied, pressing her lips firmly together as she slowly shakes her head.

“I’ve met someone” Ina finally admitted, turning serious.

“Ina! That’s great news, we should be celebrating? Why aren’t you happy?” Lillian questioned, eyebrows knitted tightly together. “Oh, make no mistake Lil, I am” Ina was quick to dispel that notion, sitting forward in her seat. Her eyes dropped back down, fixed on her hands, she twiddled her fingers nervously as she considered her next words.

Lillian focused on her older sister intently, giving her the space to continue. There were only two occasions she recalled seeing Ina this anxious, the first was when she came out to their parents, the second was when she helped Lillian tell them about the pregnancy. Neither conversation ended well.

The minute that passed had felt like forever and finally Ina continued, “I’m just not particularly sure you are going to approve of my decisions”. Lillian frowned at her accusingly, “I swear to god Ina, if you are sleeping with a married woman, I will disown you. You know how I feel about that. How you of all people should feel about that”. There it was, the conclusion Ina knew her sister would be jumping to, ‘two feet as always!’ she thought, huffing at the idea. “No Lil. I’m not, and will never be, the other woman” Ina spat, as if the words themselves were poisonous.”What then? Ina you couldn’t even play hooky at school, what could possibly be so bad?”.

Her wild imagination didn’t stop there, Ina would have almost found it comical if the situation wasn’t so dire. The older woman knew she should probably just come out with it, but it was so interesting to see where Lillian’s mind went. ‘Wow… I am a terrible person, this is not the time for subject analysis!’ Ina admonished herself, but it really was a force of habit.

“Is she serving time? Drugs? OH MY GOD… Please tell me it’s not a he?!” Lillian pushed, whispering the last part. That was it, Ina couldn’t stop the snort that escaped her. “Lillian stop!” Ina’s eyes were wide at the absurdities being thrown her way, although at this point she wondered if they were better than the truth. “For the record, absolutely not – on the males species I mean. Some things simply cannot be undone” she affirmed, a flicker of a smirk fading as quickly as it arrived.

Ina closed her eyes as if bracing herself “I need you to let me finish though. If I don’t tell you now I’m not certain I ever will” she pleaded, opening her eyes. She exhaled slowly, trying to steady herself and regain some resemblance of her usual composure. “She’s my…” Ina paused, summoning whatever courage she could from within. “She’s my student”.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Ina searched her sister’s eyes for a moment, eyes she knew well, eyes that mirrored her own. When Lillian eventually spoke, her voice was soft. “Oh Ina” she sighed.

The room was quiet, bar the ticking of the clock. Ina shifted uncomfortably in her seat, not really sure whether she should speak next or just leave whilst Lilian cradled her head in her hands. “Please say something” Ina breathed, “anything?”.

Lillian moved to prop her face on one hand before replying, “I don’t quite know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. This isn’t like you Ina?” she reflected, the disbelief evident on her features. “I know” Ina mumbled as she went back to toying with her thumbs. Another agonising pause left Ina rubbing her hand over her face, it was only then that Lillian noticed how tired she looked. In fact, this was a look normally reserved for a stressed Ina, the same Ina who wouldn’t have slept in three nights just to meet a deadline.

“Please don’t think for one minute, that I’m not already punishing myself for allowing it to get this far” Ina said as she met her sister’s gaze. “I know it’s inappropriate. Trust me when I say, I’ve tried to distance myself from her”.

“Clearly not enough!” Lillian immediately retorted. Ina winced. As much as it stung, she also knew it was true.

As difficult as she found the conversation, Lillian wasn’t about to let Ina off lightly. “Have you had sex with her?”. The question hung in the air.

“Yes” Ina simply replied, earning a groan from Lillian, who was now massaging her temples. “That was before discovering she was my student though” Ina quickly added, “not that it makes much difference at this point”. It was clear she had been berating herself enough, so Lillian eased off. “How?” Came her next question, much softer than before.

Ina leaned back her in her chair, relaxing only a little by the change of tone. “I was having a drink at that little speakeasy, when this young woman approached the bar. We only spoke briefly at first, whilst she was being served, but she was different. She had this air about her, she was just… Completely captivating!”. Lillian watched her sister smile fondly at the memory.

“Dare I say, I was devastated when she returned to her table. I was on my third old fashioned and feeling rather courageous, so I sent over a drink”. Lillian raised her eyebrows in surprise, it was’t like Ina to be so bold.

As much as Lillian tried to hide it, she was now fully invested in how the story would progress (she always was the soppier of the two). “Sooo? Did she come back?” she asked. Ina’s grin grew wide with triumph, “she did”.

“We must have spoken for a good couple of hours, it all felt so effortless. I knew I wanted to kiss her, but I wasn’t sure how I should go about it. I mean, I would consider myself a bit out of practice!” She chuckled, acknowledging her love life, or lack of. “Despite my earlier confidence, I just didn’t have the nerve. Thankfully that was something she wasn’t short of though, she seemed to pick her moment perfectly”. Ina started to rub the scar below her lip absentmindedly, as she recalled how they had shared their first kiss. The small gesture didn’t go unnoticed, nor did the light in her eyes as she went on. “One thing led to another and before I knew it, I was semi naked in one of the private lounges!” Ina finished in a rush. “I’ll spare you the details” she added, as a blush crept across her cheeks.

“So you really had no idea she was from Belvoire?” Lillian queried, her initial disapproval subsiding slightly. Ina shook her head, “I didn’t even know her name. I gave her my number but If I’m honest I wasn’t sure I would ever see her again. I was pleasantly surprised when she text me the next morning, and rewarded me with said name”. Lillian gave her sister an expectant look, “Bea” Ina breathed, answering the silent question.

Lillian could see the impact the young woman had already made on Ina, pushing her to almost feel sorry for her.

“Imagine my horror when I walked in to my first lecture the very next day, and Bea’s sitting three rows in”.

Ina explained that she had tried to stay away, but couldn’t ignore the connection they had. She joked how Bea might as well be living in her mind, rent free, only it wasn’t really a joke. Ina told Lillian how she had vowed to herself to keep things professional, however that was proving increasingly difficult.

Taking her older sister’s hands, Lillian prepared herself to approach the elephant in the room, the one they had both been dancing around for some time. “Ina, I’ve spent the last two years watching you bury your head in your career, helping you undo the damage she did”. Lillian paused as Ina interjected “you mean she who shall not be named?”. “Yes, Voldemort” Lillian replied, knowing Ina would appreciate her easing the conversation with some humour.

“You’ve barely been able to consider the possibility of love again, because of the pain she put you through. And the one time you do, it threatens to jeopardise the very thing that saved you”. Ina bit her lip as she gave Lillian’s words some real thought.

Lillian carried on “I know how much love you have to give and how desperately you want to give it. You have to ask yourself at what cost though Ina?” Before continuing, she stopped for a second to allow the message to sink in. “I want nothing more than for you to open your heart again, but you can’t be the only one making sacrifices. Especially not of this size, and not based on one night of passion”.

Although Lillian’s voice was one of warning, her eyes showed nothing but care. Ina pulled her hands away to wipe the tears that had to started to escape the corners of her eyes.

“I know you’re right Lillian. I have worked so hard for my career, I daren’t think about what I would do if I were to lose it”. Satisfied that she had highlighted the enormity of the risk (and that it had been understood), Lillian softened once again.

“You deserve the greatest love story of them all Ina. Do you really believe you are ready?”. Ina sighed softly as she thought about the prospect of some kind of ‘future’ with Bea. “I think she’s good for me Lil. In one breath she makes me nervous, but in the next she knows exactly what to say to put me at ease. She may be the cause of my turmoil but it’s like she is also the only resolution”.

“It’s wrong I know, but I can’t help wanting to explore this with her?” Ina said, running her hand through her hair.

“Okay enough of this” Lillian slammed her hands on the table, way harder than intended. “Here’s my advice Ina. You need to keeping working and keep it professional, as professional as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t get to know her though. If this girl really is interested in you, she will put in the work, thus giving you the chance to work out how you really feel. Then and only then, can you decide where your moral compass wants to settle and if you are willing to put your job at stake”.

Ina nodded slowly, mulling it over, however Lillian wasn’t done. “In the meantime, why don’t you speak to Sam? She’s had her fair share of work place scandals after the whole Dalton/Russo saga, she might be able to offer you some sound advice”.

“That’s actually a really good idea” Ina replied, “she won’t judge me either”.

“Exactly, it’s always worth getting a second opinion from someone who isn’t blinded by sex appeal” Lilian teased as she got up and made her way round the table. “Wait a minute, isn’t that exactly what happened…” Ina was cut off by Lillian pulling her to her feet and giving her a tight embrace. “It’s going to be okay Ina. Thank you for being open with me”.

Breaking the hug and holding Ina at arms length, Lillian laughed at her sisters pout. “Now pull yourself together, get upstairs and see my daughter. I can’t deal with two mopey Kingsleys”, she added with a wink.

“Thank you Lil” Ina said earnestly as she straightened herself up, “I don’t know what I would do without you”.

***

[loveinterestcastiel]

erosion

I wrote some endverse fic based on a @lateral-org post asking a FANTASTIC question:

When/why/how did endverse! cas get rid of the trenchcoat and what was dean's reaction?

Rated M. Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence. Word Count: 4.1k

tagged some mutuals and people I thought might be interested in this under the cut, if you want tagged in this/future fic or want me to remove your tag dm me!

erosion

Of course, Sam said yes in Detroit. So why dream about that? He lived it every day. The redundancy was irritating at best.

Where the fuck did I leave my boots last night? Cas cursed under his breath and embarked on a thorough search of their cabin, the coarse words warm and familiar on his tongue as he yanked on his socks. I really am starting to sound like Dean.

Dean’s boots were already gone, his gun and thigh holster absent too. He’d left his green jacket behind, tossed carelessly aside last night and hidden under the trenchcoat on the floor at the foot of their bed. He slipped his coat on over his clothes and shoved Dean’s jacket into their pack- he knew he’d want it later, even if it was just for the drive back. He slipped on the worn coat, habit- he’d stopped wasting Grace on its upkeep a while ago, but it was still important. It felt like comfort, in some strange way, so he kept on wearing it despite the worn-through elbows or the stubborn little bloodstained spot on the hem.

He’d dreamed of Detroit, last night, again. He didn’t know if he’d ever get used to dreaming, as unsettling and involuntary as it was. It felt like the unfair hijacking of an otherwise enjoyable human bodily function, and he resented it altogether. He snagged a bit of weed from his stash and tucked it in next to his flask, sweeping out the cabin door and into the frigid morning sunshine, giving Chuck a lazy wave as he ambled past his cabin to the truck lot, kicking little pebbles across the packed dirt at imaginary targets with a super-human precision that grated strangely on him today.

“Big run today,” Chuck said with a tentative smile, his hands clasping a chipped mug filled to the brim with his ridiculously indulgent tea, wafting a cascade of steam out over the railing of his cabin porch before dissipating into the air. “Don’t forget the perishables if you can get at them, ok? We’re seriously low on-”

“Toilet paper, milk, cheese, butter,” he interrupted, “plus sugar, flour, canned fruit, hygiene products, toothpaste, toilet paper, coffee, meat if we can get it, .35 and 9mm ammunition, mechanical oil, gasoline, propane, rubbing alcohol, gauze, surgical tape, toilet paper, paracetamol, and oh, toilet paper again!” Cas recited dryly, rolling his eyes. “You gave us a written list yesterday. Twice. Couldn’t fuck up blackout drunk.”

Chuck snorted, shaking his head in self-deprecation. “Just doing my job, Cas.”

“We’ll do ours,” he called over his shoulder, continuing down the central path briskly. “We’ve all got our part to play.”

What was it Lucifer had said to Dean, that night Zachariah stole him out from under Cas’s nose and threw him into the future? No matter what choices you make, whatever details you alter… we will always end up here.

It certainly seemed like he was right. Most days, it seemed like they were all hurtling towards the exact same place Dean had caught a wretched glimpse of, once, with the brakes slashed and emergency failsafes offline, and no indicator that the impossible choices they were making every day were anything but inevitable. He knew that Dean still had nightmares about his ending, but he didn’t know much else about Dean’s nightmares anymore but what little snippets he could garner from what Dean mumbled and cried out in his sleep. He’d lost the ability to dreamwalk a while back. Three nights after the Croatoan virus wiped out Fort Worth and they were forced to fall back, he tried to enter Dean’s sleep to watch his dreams in the dubious refuge of a closed down Motel 6 off of interstate 70 as they ran west, to see if there was some piece of information they’d missed, some new choice they could make one day that could change the path they were on.

It simply hadn’t worked. He mourned the loss of one more skill in the darkness of their room that night as Dean slept uneasily in the bed beside him, one more thing which, in its absence, made him ever more useless to Dean, much like the loss of his ability to time travel, or to smite their enemies with ease. Flight was becoming difficult by the day, and he knew in some part of his mind that his wings would be the next to go, and he would be grounded, permanently, on Earth and not in Heaven.

And so it goes.

Anyway, it wasn’t like they had much of a choice about anything these days. Once Michael had taken Adam, they lost their only trump card. Heaven didn’t need Dean anymore, but Hell desperately needed Sam. It was a shame, it really was, that Sam’s gamble hadn’t paid off.

It was a miracle Lucifer let Dean go. He had brushed him off as a non-threat. Unimportant on a cosmic scale, however important Dean was to the vessel. To Sam. So Dean walked out of that run down building alive, and he was the most beautiful, terrible thing Cas had ever seen. His soul shone brighter than even an archangel’s grace in his rage and trembled with the fierce sharpness of grief, and it was glorious, righteous.

Godly.

Even as Cas’s memories softened and blurred, becoming tinged with a mortal haze, that memory of Dean remained in a sparkling clarity. He could imagine no life, no moldable version of the past, in which he did not choose Dean. From the very first moment his soul had reached back to cling to Cas’s Grace in Hell, Cas had fallen, was falling, would fall, for Dean. It was inevitable, his love. They were inevitable. They fell together in the time after Detroit, into battle, into bed, and into cosmic obscurity. Soon, too soon, their losses began to outnumber their wins, and they had to make more and more certain regrettable sacrifices just to stay alive. Cas was used to collateral damage, far more than Dean was, but whatever the other humans in their ragged camp believed of him, he wasn’t unaffected. Just the opposite, in fact. He had never felt anything before, not for billions of years, an incomprehensible existence of light and intent and obedience and war, and now he felt everything. That- not Dean’s disappointment, or the slow loss of his Grace, or his Father’s unyielding silence- was undoubtedly the worst part of becoming something like human.

Some days were better than others, of course. Some days he took precious little blue or white or green pills, all different shapes and sizes and he felt good. Numb, pleased, far away. Quiet. Others, fewer than the days he had his pills, he took shrooms, LSD. Molly, twice. Often he took nothing at all, craving the wicked pain and emptiness it created in him as his sobriety enhanced the ache his dwindling Grace left behind, needing the punishment to feel real before forcing himself into a tumultuous sleep after days spent horribly awake with half a bottle of rotgut sloshing in his stomach. He still liked joints, rolled meticulously, their verdant smoke curling up deliciously in his lungs and setting him up on a lovely little metaphorical cloud the best, and then, they were even more so lovely when he shared them with Dean. There was nothing, nothing like passing it between them, before transitioning into trading hit after hit between their mouths, brushing against his soft lips, breathing his air, watching Dean’s cheeks flush a stunning pink and holding tight to his deep golden hair, dragging him down into slow, languid kisses that desire deepened and turned into a precious sort of holy consumption as the high hit its stride in them both.

He was sober today, mostly, just riding out the last of some gorgeous pink pill from a nearly full bottle he’d just scavenged out a few days before. It made him feel floaty, focused, fearless. He felt almost like he did two years ago, before his reeducation stint in Heaven. Angelic. It was nice. He’d take another, later. Maybe Dean would want to take one, too, and they could fuck high out under the stars on their quilt again like they did last October and feel like the real Gods of this stupid little planet, on top of the world, on top of Dean, cradled in the soft embrace of his thighs, and worship each other.

Take that, brothers. Castiel smiled viciously at the sky. You’ll never fuck God like I have.

Standing impatiently among their motley caravan of vehicles in the sickly yellow light of a midwestern April morning sun, his back to Cas, Dean’s silhouette and the flashing imprint of his soul- the only one Cas could still see clearly- caramelized into a sweet union of tangible and not that pulled at his stomach and swept him into the siren song of Dean’s being and woke up the hungry creature that lived in his heart and craved DeanDeanDeanDean.

No one else was there yet, probably all still dicking around at the camp mess and drinking shitty chicory. His feet fell silently on the earth, leaving behind the sound of the universe and the vibrant humming of Dean’s soul- and oh, he hoped he could always hear that symphony, even when all the rest of his powers had run dry.

Just as he reached out to take Dean by the shoulder and turn him around, Dean moved with a sudden burst of energy, like a coiled snake striking out. He whirled around and met Cas’s eyes, took him by the neck and the waist, and kissed him. His lips moved with a gentleness that contradicted the intensity of the grip of his cold-fingered hands as they worked their way into his hair, wormed their way under his trenchcoat, and touched the bare skin they found where the hem of his t-shirt met his jeans. He met the kiss eagerly, licking teasingly at the seam of his lips, biting down gently and coaxing Dean into opening his mouth. He pushed Dean back until his back hit the nearest rusted army-green truck with a small thudding noise, pressing himself up against Dean and tugging on his hips so they were pressed flush against each other, the contact sending and electric thrill racing up his spine.

“Cas,” Dean gasped out at the sensation of their bodies meeting, the air punched out of his lungs.

“Mmm, morning,” Cas murmured between kisses. “You’re out here early.” Dean’s neck was uncharacteristically bare above the neck of his rough brown sweater, creamy and invitingly unmarked. Cas indulged in the impulse to change that, working his way over the tender skin, sucking and biting until a bruise began to bloom below the junction of Dean’s jaw and neck, worrying it with his teeth until it was a deep reddish-purple.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Dean whispered, letting his head fall back against the truck window, baring his throat further, and closed his eyes. He seemed almost happy, today. He seemed to light up in the lead-up to their more dangerous missions, and Cas didn’t want to think about that right now. Didn’t want to ruin the moment. “Didn’t want to wake you up,” Dean elaborated.

“I appreciate that.” Satisfied with the rather outrageous hickey he’d created on Dean’s neck, Cas pressed it with one last kiss. “How’d you know I was behind you?” he asked, pressing their foreheads together and slowly grinding their hips together lazily, just breathing Dean in.

“Felt you,” Dean said, bringing their lips together again briefly. “Always can.” One more little kiss.

“Dean, last night, when you couldn’t sleep, I dreamed again about Detroit-” Cas started to confess feverishly, almost against his will, Dean stiffening up at his words in his arms, and was interrupted by the sound of people approaching, footsteps, voices, and an earsplitting wolf-whistle directed at their compromising position.

Dean’s face shuttered immediately, and Cas felt every scrap of easy bliss flee his body.

He pulled back with more than a little reluctance, his stomach twisting as a fakely jovial grin tugged at the corners of his lips, and clapped Dean on the shoulder. “Let’s go, fearless leader. We’ve got a mission to run, don’t you know?”

“Don’t start with that fearless leader shit,” Dean said tightly, rolling his eyes away from Castiel’s face and fixing on a point somewhere over Cas’s shoulder. “Who’s driving?”

“Looks like Cas is driving,” Joe called out mischievously.

Risa smacked him in the chest. “Get in the truck, idiot.” She turned her gaze to Dean, an odd glint in her eye. It felt sticky and wrong in his core but Cas stamped the feeling down. “Group brief over the radio on the way?” she asked.

“Yeah, at 8,” Dean said, sliding into his unshakeable militaristic persona with a firm nod. “Should be fairly straightforward in and out supply grab. Intel says the Croats cleared out of Roanoke a couple days ago, left major infrastructure and commerce sites relatively untouched. It’s a good thing too,” he added, “we were getting spread a little thin with most goods.”

“Sounds easy enough.”

———————————————————————

It was not, in fact, easy.

Their intel was wrong, so wrong, and Cas didn’t know how the fuck it happened, but they were fine, they were almost finished, closing up the trucks in the alley behind the supermarket and waiting for Dean and Trish to return from sweeping the perimeter, when out of what seemed like thin air and with no more than a broken shout for warning there were more Croats swarming them than he’d ever seen in one place before, and Joe and Maya and Kris were dead, and Dean was nowhere to be found.

The Croats had the remaining seven pinned down against the main truck, snarling and screeching and reeking of blood and gore, strips of flesh and clothing that once adorned their companions now dangling from their teeth. Their single-minded need for the endless consumption of human flesh and that it was currently being denied drove them to a terrifying frenzy, but the hunters were starting to push back, and the Croat numbers were thinning slowly but surely. Cas thought he saw Allen get bitten, but next he glanced at him he looked fine. He’d need to check on that if they made it out alive. He resigned himself quickly to the idea of killing the man before they got back to Chitaqua- Allen was a nice enough man, quick-witted and skilled with a blade and a loom, but nothing was worth bringing a Croat back to camp. He owed it to the man as a human being to grant him a swift death if he’d been infected before Allen himself could realize it. A shot to the back of the head, unawares, had to be better than a clumsy battle and inevitable stab to the chest (Cas knew he would always have the upper hand against a human, even when he had fallen in full) with fear in his heart.

He buried his angel blade to hilt in yet another Croat’s throat, yanking it out and ducking out of the way of the spray of blood that followed in a well-practiced motion uncanny in its speed. They would win this one.

But still no Dean.

Cas felt a bubbly panic rise up in his chest through the haze of battle as it became clear to him that Dean wasn’t coming back. Even from the other side of the building or from inside, there was no way that Dean had not heard the commotion of such a large fight.

Something was stopping Dean from coming back to him.

“Risa,” he shouted over the din to the woman on his left. “Dean and Trish-”

“I know,” she interjected tersely, hacking the head off of a skeletally thin Croat in a tattered suit. “Retrieval? We’ve got this handled here as long as this all the fucking bastards around.”

“I’m going in,” Cas said quickly, slicing at a particularly bold (stupid) Croat trying to charge him. It crumpled to the ground and twitched once, and was still. Some of its companions fell on the body ravenously, and were subsequently cut down in turn as they began to tear at the corpse. “Leave as soon as you’re able; I’ve got the keys to the main truck. Cover your right,” he warned Risa, and, sensing an opportunity in the parting sea of Croats before him, ran.

He was through the service doors of the building before the Croat hoard could even begin to respond to his escape, and their noises were quickly muffled by the service door as it locked automatically behind him, leaving him in relative quiet.

There were a surprising number of crates and boxes remaining in the storage and unloading zones, either empty or nearly so, and he quickly ascertained the area was, apart from himself, devoid of life or anything of interest to the camp.

Cas.

Dean's sudden prayer hit him like a sledgehammer to the gut.

Aisle... his mental voice trailed off for a second into indistinct sounds, colors, and waves of pain. Aisle seven. It's bad.

Cas shoved through the access door into the freezers, and out into the store with a recklessness he would have been ashamed of had he been so terrified.

He turned down aisle seven and skidded to a halt, frozen at the sight that greeted him, and tried to make sense of the hideously macabre tableau.

Trish's decapitated body lay the furthest from him, her ribcage torn open, her organs spilling over her arms and scattered in pieces over the floor. Three dead Croats, all headshots, around her remains. Then a bloody lake on the cheap linoleum tile, thick and viscous and so, so red, two more dead Croats, clearly more hard-won victories, their arms hacked at, heads partially removed, and nearly blocking the last body from view, wedged up against the shelves and bloody as it was.

"Cas," Dean wheezed, lifting his head laboriously to meet his eyes, blood bubbling up between his lips and staining them. "Cas, I'm so sorry-"

"No, no, don't talk like that," Cas said desperately, kneeling beside Dean. He took their pack of his back with shaking hands and shoved his angel blade somewhere inside. "We can fix this. You'll be okay."

"Cas-"

"You will!" he said, too loudly and startling himself.

"My ribs," Dean panted out in pained little gasps. "Broken. There's something in my back." He twitched minutely as if to show Cas the problem and immediately convulsed involuntarily at the pain the movement caused him, a horrible rattling moan in his throat. "My leg. Right one. Broken too." His jaw was clenched so tightly it was a miracle he could speak at all through the teeth-grinding pain he was in.

"Okay," Cas said faintly.

Cas...

Oh, he hated feeling. Sometimes he thought it made him useless. He missed being cold. Brutal, uncaring about pain or death. But this was Dean, and he'd never actually been particularly good at being a machine, anyway. "Okay. Dean, I need to see your back," he warned him, before moving him as gently as he could and angling his body so that he could get an unobstructed view of his back.

There was a crude metal stake wedged just an inch to the left of his second and third thoracic vertebrae, rusted, twisted and cruel-looking.

"Dean, I- I have to try to heal you," he said slowly, knowing that Dean wouldn't want him to be wasteful with his Grace. But this was beyond what human field medicine could help.

Dean didn't respond. He'd fallen unconscious.

"Oh no, no, no, baby," he babbled under his breath, trying to figure out the best way to extract the bar of metal. "Hold on," he muttered, grasping the stake firmly and bracing Dean's body against his own, trying to avoid fucking his broken ribs up more.

"Father, please, if you're still here, if you're listening, if you care at all," he begged, "help me."

Of course, his Father didn't answer. Gritting his teeth, Cas yanked out the stake and tossed it aside, immediately covering the wound with his hand. He summoned his Grace together and it responded sluggishly, but his hand was glowing and Dean's back was knitting back together.

As the skin merged into a puckered, raw-looking pink scar, Cas dropped his hand away from the wound and found himself utterly breathless, gasping for air and drained.

Dean was still unconscious.

He leaned Dean back up against the shelving and took a moment to figure out what to do next. Dean was still dying. He was still in danger. He couldn't be moved, nor could they stay put. He quickly opened up their pack and realized in horror that all the medical supplies were with Risa and AJ on the trucks and so, so far away by now.

He yanked his coat off with a twinge of regret. It was bloodied and worn and what he was about to do with it felt like a milestone he was loathe to reach.

He shredded it into long, wide strips, not letting himself think of how it was the last piece of Jimmy Novak, or how he had repaid the man's sacrifice by being party to the end of the world they both wanted to protect, or how Claire Novak had stopped praying to him weeks ago, now. He got on with the job, this is just a job, I can fix this-

He managed to wrap Dean's leg up decently tight, straight and stiff, but he had quickly discovered it was broken in several places. He didn't know what he could do for Dean's ribs, and he felt, as if from a distance, how Dean's breath was coming shallower and shallower, and he made his choice.

He laid his left hand on Dean's broken leg, as gently as he could. Leaning forward, he smoothed the wispy little baby hairs he loved to tease Dean about back, off his sweaty, pained, precious face, and, placing his right hand on Dean's crushed ribs, near his heart, touched their foreheads together. He looked at Dean's soul, his shining, beautiful (fading) soul and knew.

"I love you," Cas whispered, his voice wrecked. With that finally said, he grabbed his exhausted, weary Grace, and though it fought him and slipped through his grasp, he got hold of it and he pushed everything he could, everything he was into his hands, into Dean.

When he had done it, when he had drained himself down to mists and vapors, and had saved Dean, he gathered him in his arms, and carried him back to the truck on numb feet, leaving the scraps of Jimmy's coat behind in aisle seven.

When the truck broke down thirty miles from Chitaqua, and their radio too, he turned to Dean, pulling on a blue-ish jacket they'd picked up earlier during the run. It fit well.

"It's a good look for you," Dean said gruffly, staring at Cas with an expression he could not recognize. There was blood still smeared on his cheekbone, he noted absently.

"Oh. Yes. Well, thank you," Cas answered, adjusting the sleeves.

Dean tugged at the tan fabric strips on his leg, wincing at the pressure.

"You did a good job, Cas. With this fabric splint from your coat-"

"I know you won't be able to walk it," Cas said quietly, unable to meet his eyes even as he interrupted him. "I did what I could, but you'll be weak for days. You need time."

"You can leave me, Cas," Dean said, a strange, pinched guilt-pain-tenderness on his face. "You can come back for me."

"No," Cas said, smiling, and choking, and took Dean's cheek in the palm of his hand with a terrible ache rising in his throat. "I can't."

April 19th, 2012, under the peak of the Lyrids meteor showers, Cas flew for the last time, right up to the gates of the camp.

When they landed, a millisecond and millennia later, his wings burned away into nothingness in a wave of electric, minty-white pain that forced him to the ground. In the aftermath, panting and sweating and shaking in Dean's arms and clutching at his handprint on Dean's shoulder, he realized his Grace, or what was left of it, anyway, had consolidated into a bright little ball in his chest. Like a soul.

The realization was followed by another. Despite his earlier conviction that it would one day be lost to him, he could still see Dean's soul- behind his teeth, in his chest, radiant like a halo around his head, and worth, a million times over, and a million again, falling for.

Tagged:

@heller-jensen @sunforgrace @rambleoncas @adhdeancas @evermorecastiel @holmesemrys @plantdadcas @good-things-do-happen-dean @jeanne-de-valois @autisticandroids @sonder-stars @yana125 @faithcastiel @cascreamtiel @seffersonjtarship @i-sing-for-me @purgatorybi @bibelphegor @cowboyslikedean @gracefuldean @dimples-of-discontent @judaskissdean @wafflehousegothic @icaruscastiel @67chevyimpala67 @lesbianjenderenvy

[scarletdawnxx-blog]

Nightmare Chapter 3 Continuation of Bucky Barnes x Reader

You sat crossed legged on Bucky’s bed, a pillow across your lap, which Bucky’s head laid upon.

 “Whatever you hear, don’t interrupt, don’t enter the room.” You told Steve who was standing over the two of you. 

“That doesn’t make me feel good,” Bucky grumbled. 

“It will be fine, but this will take a lot of concentration and it can’t be broken. If I pull out of his mind part way through, things could go,” You paused trying to find the right words, you could feel the nervousness in both of them. “Well not like how we would like them.” You finished. Steve nodded and left you to it, closing the door behind him. 

“Are you sure you still want to do this?” Bucky asked. You gave him a reassuring smile.

“Of course, do you still want to go through with this?” He simply nodded. 

You took a deep breath, placing your hands on either side of his head. Closing your eyes, you slipped into his mind. You instantly felt like you had just been dropped in a vast, churning sea, finding it hard to find your way up.

 Concentrating harder, you searched for those memories from so long ago, when Hydra had first taken him. You could feel him fighting you, trying to push those memories further from you. But you followed that darkness pulling you deeper. There was so much darkness, and despair. Your heart felt like it was being ripped from your chest from all the pain. Sweat started to bead on your brow as you witnessed memory after memory, dark and cold and pain in all of them. What was worse was truly seeing what Bucky had endured. The brainwashing had indeed turned his body and mind into a perfect, obedient weapon, he truly had no control and had to sit back and watch himself commit all these terrible crimes, aware of everything he was doing but powerless to stop it, screaming trying to wake himself out of it. Tears were in both your eyes and you continued in deeper until finally you found them. The trigger words rooted deep into him. You knew this part was going to be painful for both of you. The words almost taking on a life of their own and digging deeper, not wanting to be removed. You were hoping to trick them, make them think you were alike.

Bucky’s breathing had become erratic, gritting his teeth down, trying not cry out. You couldn’t take this pain away, not while you were so deep in it with him, all your focus and power being used to pull these words out by the root. You’re not sure how long you were in there, or who the screams were coming from by the end, but you had pulled everything from his mind except one. Something you weren’t quite expecting. A kill safe word, to neutralize him in case he had gotten out of hand in those early days. You almost laughed when you saw the word flash in your mind. Sputnik. Say that word and he would fall into a deep sleep, reverting him back to Bucky from the Winter Soldier. You had a decision to make, do you leave it, in case it all your work was for nothing and you needed to stop him from hurting the others. Did they know about the safe word? Did Bucky? Surely it would have been talked about if the team knew. Bucky soon started thrashing under you and the word slipped from your grasp. You soothed his mind as you made your way back out, not fading out the memories from Hydra, you had talked and the info those memories gave was too vital to remove, but you unhitched the emotions from them, took away the guilt. You could feel his own sense of calm over taking yours and something else, something you hadn’t felt when you first entered his mind. A warm glowing feeling. It had been so small it had been swallowed by everything else, but now, you could feel it wholly. It felt like someone calling you home. It was all safe and good and love, you realized. He loved someone. You didn’t pry further, he deserved some secrets. You gently removed your hand from him and wiped your tear-stained face. Bucky still lay there, having fallen into a calm sleep, his mind exhausted. You opened his bedroom door to see Steve, Natasha and Sam sitting outside. 

“How is he?” Steve asked concerned jumping up and peering over your shoulder into the room. 

“Sleeping.” You said quietly looking back at him over your shoulder. 

“Do you think it worked?” he asked as you closed the door behind you. 

“I think so, we will need to test it later, but now, let him rest. His mind will need time.” You said wrapping your arms around yourself feeling cold, deep in your bones. “How long was I in there?” 

“It’s been hours, we weren’t concerned until the screams started.” Natasha said standing up from her spot on the floor. “What happened in there?” she asked concerned.

“Let’s go down to the kitchen and talk, I could really use something to eat.” You told them jerking your head in that direction. They quietly nodded and the group of you made your way to the kitchen. Hours must have passed because as you approached the kitchen one of the many staff members was already preparing dinner. You settled yourself into a chair, Steve and Sam joining you, while Natasha busied herself making a cup of tea. The men just stared at you waiting for you to tell them what happened. 

“It was difficult, the trigger words were deep rooted and had almost taken on a life of their own, they fought me, not wanting to be removed, but I think I did it. It was painful, for both of us.” You finished rubbing your arms, trying to warm yourself. 

“How are you not exhausted?” Sam asked. “Normally you would be wiped out after using them for such an extended period of time.” 

“I mean, I am tired, but I don’t feel drained. I guess all that training is paying off.” You shrugged your shoulders. Not really having an explanation. 

“Or you are becoming more powerful than you thought you could be.” Natasha said setting a cup of hot tea in front of you. Taking it in your hands welcoming the warmth it gave you. That was a scary thought. How long before it got to be to much for you, before you may not be able to control it anymore, before someone decided to use it for their own gain. 

“I think it would be best for everyone to not let that kind of news getting out,” Steve said leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest.

 You nodded in agreement. It was your deepest fear, not that you would ever let them know that. You thought back on the paper you had read about genetic mutations, about the professor who had written the paper. Perhaps you should reach out to him. See if he had the answers, you were looking for. You looked at the people around you, they al l had explanations for their powers, Steve and Bucky with their super serum, Sam and Tony with their tech, Nat with her years of training and abuse in the red room. You were surrounded by gods and people exposed to elements that changed them, but nothing like that had ever happened to you. Just one day it fully awoke inside of you and now, your powers were taking off faster than you could really keep up with them, especially now that you were flexing that muscle more and more.

  When Bucky finally emerged hours later, he found you sitting alone, the rest of the team having left for various task around the compound. Sitting around waiting for Bucky to wake up wasn’t helping anyone. But you had drifted so far off in your own mind they had left you to it, said you had done enough. 

“Y/N” he said quietly, trying not to startle you. 

“Hey Barnes, How are you feeling?” you asked giving him a small smile. 

“You walked around my brain and I still can’t get you to call me Bucky,” he teased trying to make light of the whole situation. 

“It’s not my fault that you have a ridiculous nickname.” You retorted and he sat down next to you. “But really, how are you feeling?” you asked again placing a hand on his arm, genuine concern etched on your face. 

“I feel fine, lighter I guess, like I don’t have the weight of all those years on me.” He replied looking at your hand. You pulled it back quickly, not sure if after everything he was okay with the contact. “I’m guessing it worked then? What you did?” he asked still not really meeting your eyes, afraid of what he would see there. Disgust? Pity? Hate? Not knowing your heart ached to hold him close and not let him go. 

“I think so but there is really only one way to find out. I know the words, we need to see if they still awaken what was buried deep in you.” You stood and made your way to the window, the sky turning shades of coral and lilac from the setting sun. “Whenever you’re ready that is.” You added turning slightly back to look at him over your shoulder. He rubbed his hands over his face and sighed. 

“No time like the present right? We are this far down already, time to finish it.” Bucky replied and you turned to fully look at him. He was scared, you could feel it.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. can you gather the team to the interrogation rooms?” You asked the A.I. not looking away from Bucky. She located each member of the team on compound grounds and you and Bucky made your way towards the rooms you had been avoiding but it would be the safest place, nothing he could really break in there. 

“So, we are really doing this?” Tony asked leaning against the far back wall of the observation room. 

“He says he wants to get it over with,” You replied to Tony, seeing Bucky sitting in the room by himself. He looked so tired, you could see the extended years on him, how old his soul felt. 

“I still say we should restrain him, you know, in case it didn’t work.” 

“Absolutely not,” You clipped at him in a harsh tone. You knew Bucky had endured all of that torture while being strapped down and you wouldn’t let that happen to him again. Tony just threw his arms up in defeat. “Besides, Steve will be in there with me, in case something goes wrong.” You looked to Steve and he nodded, you both entering the room with Bucky. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y activate barn door protocol.” Stark Said and the facility locked down. Bucky looked to you and Steve.

“Just a precaution,” Steve said in a reassuring manner placing a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky half smiled, trying not to show his worry. “If you aren’t ready to do this we don’t have to do it right this second. No one would blame you if you weren’t ready. If you still needed time Buck.” Steve told him. It was true, the whole team knew that this would be hard for him, all expect Tony who just wanted it over with. 

“No, Y/N worked to hard to not test it.” Bucky said finally looking at you. He could see it on you too, the worry and fear. It matched his own. But you were afraid for a different reason, you were afraid you had failed him, that you put his mind through all of that for nothing, that you couldn’t save him. All he saw was fear that the Winter Soldier and all he had done was in this small room with her, with only Steve standing between her and possible death. He quickly looked away. “Let’s get this over with,” he said straightening himself and swallowing down his fear, hardening himself against the emotions rolling around inside of him.

 You wanted to say something but words had left you, what would you say to him anyways, the way he looked at you, it made your mouth go dry, gone were the feelings of friendship, the intimacy you had shared not but a few nights ago holding him tight after he had agreed to try this and it was replaced by something you couldn’t quite place. Everything he was feeling was so jumbled around. 

“Желание” you began and he stiffened. “ржавый, семнадцать,” you continued. Bucky fought against the pull of the words, still remembering every life that had been taken. “рассвет, печь, девять,” Bucky ground his teeth, gripping the arms of the chair tightly, tears breaking free from his eyes. “доброкачественный, возвращение домой, один, грузовой вагон.” You finished and stared at him for a long moment, looking for any change, but he just looked at you with relief in his eyes. Your breath caught in your throat and you thought for a moment you would burst into tears along with him.

  “Buck?” Steve asked cautiously. 

Bucky looked at his friend and smiled standing from the chair. Steve took him into a tight hug. You wanted to go to him, to look into those eyes and know that he was free of all Hydra had done to him. To celebrate this moment with him. Instead, you quietly walked from the room, the rest of the team greeting you with praise but it all felt hollow somehow. But you smiled at them and made your excuses, the team joining Steve and Bucky. You walked quietly through the compound, the barn door protocol being lifted as you went, making your way to the large glass front of the building. Outside you could see Bruce talking with a red head you didn’t recognize, they both looked at you as you stepped into the cooling night air. Just then an elderly man in a wheel chair came into view.

  “Hello, Y/N, I’m Professor Charles Xavier,” he said in a British accent, this was the man who wrote the research you had been reading. “I think we need to have a talk.”