#like motherfucker WHY WOULD YOU TELL THEM YOUR NAME??

[thou-babbling-brook]

it’s so funny when you play mirage because sometimes you forget Basim is supposed to be like 20 or younger and then he does some stupid shit like introduce himself with his legal name to the Templars and you remember because no Assassin with a fucking developed prefrontal cortex would do some stupid shit like that

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

Everyday I think about rick and morty against my will

[shizucheese]

Hey guys, we need to talk. Because a certain little something in TMAGP 8 is causing what is genuinely the most toxic part of the Magpod fandom at large to once again rear its ugly head. So let's talk about podcast character appearance head canons, shall we?

I'm tagging this with the Magnus Archives, TMA and Magpod tags because I am absolutely calling all of you out, but if you don't want spoilers for The Magnus Protocol episode 8 then stop reading right now.

.

.

. Okay, so, Gerry exists in the TMAGP universe. He's happy (or at least acts cheerful). And some people have headcanoned this to mean that he is no longer goth, or at the very least isn't dying his hair black with bad box color. And other people have decided to get seriously agro over this. I have literally seen with my very own eyeballs someone call "un-gothing" Gerry a "hate crime" and calling the person they were talking to "gothphobic."

Let me make this absolutely clear for all of you: podcasts are a purely audio medium and unless a physical trait of theirs is explicitely stated, everyone's headcanon for how a character appears is valid. Goth TMAGP Gerry is valid. But also

Rainbow Goth TMAGP Gerry is valid. Pastel Goth TMAGP Gerry is valid.

Not Goth At All TMAGP Gerry is valid.

Bald Gerry who has actually gotten his brain cancer diagnosed in time and is getting treated for it is valid. Somebody's headcanon of a character that has no canonical description to them, or whose headcanon matches the few crumbs of canonical description we have but otherwise doesn't look the way you imagine them to, is not going to take away from your own headcanon of what a character looks like. If someone imagining or drawing a character looking a different way from how you imagine them looking somehow takes away from your enjoyment of the fandom or otherwise makes you feel like you need to barge in and tell them that they're Wrong and need to conform to your headcanon or else, that is a reflection on you, not them.

And this problem way predates TMAGP, let alone TMAGP 8. The only description we have of John is that he is in his early 30's and has prematurely greying hair.

If someone thinks he looks like the pastiest motherfucker to ever dwell in a basement, an extra-in-the-Adam's Family or Tim Burtan protagonist of a man, let them.

What's that? You want to tell them that John is BROWN and if they don't headcanon him looking that way they're WRONG and RACIST? Back away from the keyboard and go outside.

(Ironically, as someone who started getting grey hairs in my hair in my 20's myself, I'm pretty sure everyone's headcanon of John, with tiny little whisps of grey in his hair, is wrong, because if he was so grey that people were surprised to learn he was "a child of the 90's," he was probably full on salt-and-pepper when he was in his 20's.)

The only description we have for Martin is that he (man who canonically has the self esteem of a used doormat) describes himself as "not the smallest guy", Not-Sasha called him "roomy", Melanie is skinner than him, and Jonny said he imagined him as a "bigger guy" who would beat Alex in a physical fight. If someone decides to take this information and conclude that it means he's tall, broad and has muscle, rather than that he's overweight, fucking let them. If your first instinct to this is to run to your keyboard and call them "fatphobic" or otherwise bash them for it, I once again urge you to back away from your keyboard and go outside.

Someone headcanons Basira not wearing a headscarf? We have exactly 0 canonical physical description of her and the people who headcanon her as having one are basing that purely off of her name alone. Fucking let them. Someone headcanons Melanie and/ or Georgie as a skin color you don't agree with or a hairstyle you don't like? Fucking let them. As long as someone's headcanon of a character's description doesn't contradict the few canonical descriptions we have of a character, why do you care? Them having a different headcanon from you doesn't take away your right to imagine the characters looking however you like, anymore than it should take away their right to do the same. Someone headcanoning John as white (or Black, or Asian, or Mixed, or whatever) isn't going to make all of the fanart of John as brown with long hair suddenly disappear, nor the fanfiction describing him as such (although I do often wonder if the opposite is not true; is the fact that John looks the same in so much of the fanart I see on here really because of fandom "consensus", or is it because people are absolutely awful to anyone who draws him Different?). Someone headcanoning Martin as not fat isn't going to make the mountains of fanart of him as a fluffy little marshmallow vanish into the void (although I do remember hearing about someone getting bullied off the internet for daring to draw Martin as not fat). And someone headcanoning Gerry in TMAGP as not being goth isn't going to take away your preciouse goth TMAGP Gerry headcanon. That should be part of the fun of it, shouldn't it? Seeing what different images people have conjured in their heads of these characters we only get to experience with our ears, and celebrating the differences as well as the similarities? Why are we bullying people into conforming to one appearance of a character when no actual canonical appearance of them exists?

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript -

Gabriel : *heavy breathing and grunting* Bastard. 

Useless bucket of bolts. Yeah, you better run!

Load back to your- Ah shit, that was hard. Load back to your little checkpoint.

Yeah, go ahead. Go P rank the other levels. 

Oh… I’m sorry. Can-can-can I? Excuse me, can I help you?

Columbo : Oh, uh, hi there. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.

Uh, I’m looking for somebody. 

Uh, Gabriel is it? Is that you? Is that who I’m lookin for?

Listen, I just gotta say, you did an amazing job uh… Fighting off that uh. 

What’d ya-what’d ya call it?

Uh, you called it a… 

Gabriel : A mere object?

Columbo : That’s right. A mere object. 

Phenomenal work. 

I gotta tell ya. Robots, I don’t trust em myself. 

Ya know, I had-I had this one episode where uh, there was this robot named Rob and uh-

Gabriel : Uh, yes. 

That’s very fascinating, but could you perhaps get on with your introduction? 

Columbo : Uh, certainly. So I’m, uh, I’m lieutenant Columbo. Uh, I’m with the LAPD. Uh, I'm in the homicide department. 

Gabriel : Homicide? You can’t kill a machine. 

Columbo : No no no! Of course not. But um… Well… Ya can certainly love one.

Gabriel : D-d-d-detective I- I don’t- I don’t know what you’re implying there with that statement!

As you can tell I… Despise machines and wouldn’t think about doing so- Loving them, I mean.

Columbo : Yes, of course uh. Absolutely, it’s completely unthinkable. 

Except, well. While I was- while I was over here and I opened this door and uh fourteen- fourteen V1 body pillows fell out. Along with a buncha the plushies. 

Uh, and I just can’t imagine how ya- how ya happened upon something like that by accident.

It’s a little ridiculous! Uh, frankly.

Gabriel : Uh, no no no, listen.  

Detective. I can explain, okay? 

Those belong to- uh! That guy over there! 

*Filth-like scream*

Gabriel : Yeah! A real freak! 

Some kinda pervert. I don’t know why we keep him around.

But uh, I-I have nothing to do with it. 

Columbo : Well, ya see, I would believe- I would believe that, but uh. 

It’s just that- Well we had the boys at the lab run these pillows and we found your cum- We found your DNA all over em, uh.

You’re-You’re under arrest, I’m killing you.

Gabriel : K-hah. Kill me? *laughs*

Oh detective. 

Columbo : Oh. Aw fuck.

Gabriel : I’m afraid you’ve made a grave mistake. 

Because, in fact… What is going to happen instead…

Is actually what I’m gonna- AHHHG MOTHERFUCKER

I’LL FUCKIN KILL YOU

SON OF A BITCH 

AHHG YOU BASTARD

I’LL RIP YOU APART 

PIECE OF SHIT

YOU FUCK

ASSHOLE

BITCH

*Grunting* 

Oh Shit. 

Oh. What have I done? 

V1 : Bro, tell me you didn’t just kill a fucking cop.

Gabriel : The law will be here any second now… 

Machine, flush the drugs.

V1 : No way, bro. Let’s smoke that.

Gabriel : All of it?!?

Hm… One last ride…

Well, alright.

*coughing his lungs out*

V1 : No Gabriel, holding it in doesn’t do anything!

*Gabriel continues to cough his lungs out*

End of transcription

Audio source part 1

Audio source part 2

[bitchimasnake-sss]

Imagine telling op guys who has a crush on you, that you want to sleep with them. You just plop down next to them cuddle into them and fall asleep. It's just hem turning red and trying to calm down their thoughts

hehe, this is legit so cute. (tweaked the prompt to be a little more suggestive than just thoughts in the end.)

not a dream ft. the monster trio!

set-up: as anon asked! you happened to utter five simple words, "can i sleep with you?" to the op boys (who have a crush crush on you). now these idiots are contemplating if they'd make it out alive.

warnings: includes nsfw thoughts!! no actual things happen but the guys are thinking very very perverted shit, so, if not comfortable please skip!!!

luffy:

💗 you know luffy. do you think luffy— the guy who clings to everyone, doesn't know the word "personal" and "space", who will probably hug you even if you threatened to punch him— will really mind if you told him you wanted to sleep with him? fuck no. even if you stood in front of him with a "i like you, i wanna sleep with you" in a suggestive way, he would say something along the lines of "awh, i like you too. let's sleep."

💗 but well, this was different. cause he liked you. so when you decided to show up at his door after dinner with a cranky look, he was both confused and intrigued. "what's wrong with ya?" the captain mumbled as you sat next to him on the bed. "chopper and ussop. ugghhh." you groaned, "they're doing some stupid shit next door and making so much noise. there is no possible way i can sleep there. and im sure nobody else will let me crash with them tonight in their room." luffy would have probably leapt up and gone to join the other two fools had you not sprawled out next to him. you gave him a tired smile, "so, can i sleep with you?" 💗you hadn't even waited for an answer. mindlessly, you draped a hand over his torso and snuggled into his chest. he pulled you towards himself on instinct. this was normal. yeah. hugging a crewate. yeah. totally normal. atleast for him. then why was his heart beating so fast? mouth going dry? why was sweat clinging uncomfortably to his back although he knew the night air was frigid? 💗you shifted and your chest brushed against his. luffy swallowed wantonly as you shifted again. and then one more time. trying to find the most comfortable position, he guessed. mechanically, you pushed yourself further against him. and this motherfucker went as stiff as a washboard. "luffy?" you mumbled against his skin before tracing your eyes upward. from this position, your doe-eyes bore into his, "you don't mind right? it's just really cold, sorry." how could he mind? your soft body was against his. your fingers drummed faint melodies against his back and your hair smelled like some floral scented shampoo. every time you breathed out, the warm air caressed him and goosebumps painted his hands. he felt your peaked chest brush against his again and he almost swallowed his own tongue. "luffy?" you asked again, your voice saccharine. and he vaguely wondered how would the same voice sound if he tore open that flimsy top your were wearing and held your soft skin against his palm. or if he took the courage enough to dip his fingers below the waistband of your pajamas and felt you up. would you say his name like that? 💗 well, fuck. this was the captain had thought so much in his entire life. and they were thoughts about feeling up his crewmate's tits. and, as a result of such vigorous thinking, a problem had arose in his pants. he tried to think it away. tried thinking about sea-kings or hideous devil-fruit users. of alvida. or anyone else. he even tried to think of food so that his attention could be diverted. but even the most tastiest of sanji's pudding couldn't take away the throbbing in his cock. and the delicious feeling of your soft skin next to his. as a last resort, he prayed that you wouldn't shift more and feel his dick against you. he prayed you would take his silence as rejection and simply drift off to sleep. but ofcourse, this is a godless land. because you moved again. and when you felt his hard-on against your thigh, you looked up at him. lips caught between your teeth, blinking up at him almost innocently, you asked, "got a problem, captain?" before he could answer, you pressed forward, "i think i can fix it." on the other side of the ship nami burst into chopper and ussop's room. when she yelled, it probably could be heard over the entire ship, "LET US SLEEP, YOU MORONS. WE HAVE A LONG DAY TOMORROW. GO SLEEP OR I'LL FINE YOU BOTH A MILLION BERRIES PER MINUTE THAT YOU'RE UP." you're not sure if it was chopper or ussop crying in the distance. but oh well, you have a captain to please 🤭

zoro:

💚zoro's not even fucking sure how he ended up like this. he's sure it involved some higher-than-tolerable level of alcohol for both the parties involved. and he's sure it must have been your idea that he had drunkenly complied with. "let's sleep together" "okay" what was he thinking? because right now, you were sprawled against his chest. both of you were on his bed. his shirt was off, yours was barely on. a bit of drool peaked out from the corner of your lips. and he found himself quietly rubbing it away with the pad of his thumb, smiling softly to himself. ew?! was he still drunk?? as the realization set in, he pulled his hands back in wicked horror and looked around as if someone had seen him. it was still night, and in the middle of the night, the effects of the cheap booze must have wore off of him and he awoke to you as his bed. 💚"hey." he tried to shake you awake but you just groaned, sinking further into him. he hissed when you buried your face against his bare skin. he whisper-shouted, ignoring the goosebumps on both of your skins, "wake up. go back to your own room, woman." but you didn't shift an inch. instead, you stayed buried against him. he groaned but when his eyes fell back to your face, he couldn't help but fight off the impending blush that crawled up his face. your hair was a mess and your cheek was squished against his chest. you breathed softly and sometimes, your fingers twitched against his skin and you touched him fleetingly. and you were warm. too warm for his liking. he tried to look away but his hand carefully came up to your face. staying there not a moment too long, he dragged it downwards. over your shoulders and over your back. he stopped before he went too far and grabbed your ass, the curve so delicious in his eyes. but he stopped, pulling his hands back to lay on the linen sheets. he was a horny man, not an evil douche. 💚but you must have been hell-bent in proving flaws in his moral-code, because you shifted and your pelvis shifted over his. he bit back a grunt at the movement over the fabric. you were so cozy against him. the way you brushed up against him, the way your hair tickled him. would you like it if he pulled your hair? would you moan? god, what would you sound if you moaned out his name? he was a bad man. thinking all of those things. and he tried to focus on anything but the blood-rush to his dick, really, but the way you started moving against him, almost mechanically. god. that made all attempts to ignore his boner disappear. his hips moved upwards and he closed his eyes, giving into the friction of you against him. soft moans fell from his lips, hips still moving upwards to graze your clothed thighs. 💚"zoro?" you mumbled sleepily, rubbing your eye. you strained your neck up and he looked down at you, dazed. "you okay, zo?" when he found himself unable to talk and you found a harsh roll of hips under you, you connected the dots. a playful smile tugged on your lips, "need some help?" "no." the swordsman swallowed thickly. "fine." you shrugged, clamoring off him. your hips swayed as you made a futile attempt to find your discarded shorts somewhere in the room. you gave him a lingering look, "i should go back to my room. the crew will freak out if they find us like this." "no." he caught your wrist, tugging you towards him, "stay. i could use some help." 💚in the morning, sanji walked into the swordman's room to see if the moron could find you somewhere since you were nowhere to be found on the ship. what he found, instead, was you and the mosshead tangled in his sheets. when you and zoro had finally made it to the breakfast table, sanji may/may not have been crying. luffy, ussop and chopper were laughing in the background. nami decided it was a good enough reason to even high-five zoro. it was an awkward breakfast.

sanji:

💙sanji was probably in heaven. yes, that's the only explanation. sure, the ship was en route to alabasta but he was on his way to heaven. because there's no way you had come seeking him out in the middle of the night. you had said, "i can't sleep." "oh?" the cook had wordlessly stepped aside and you took on the opportunity to slip in. he shut the door behind you, "can i help you then, love? want me to cook something?" "i would have really not bothered you but i don't know who else to ask. nami and vivi are sleeping together and the bed's not big for the three of us." you rambled, "and zoro probably showered five months ago. and luffy, ussop and chopper are passed out in the common room. so... can i sleep with you?" it's a miracle he didn't pass out on hearing those words. it's an even bigger miracle that that was three hours ago and he had still not passed out. now, sanji lay next to you— as stiff as a corpse— while you snored. your body shifted and your hands reached out towards sanji. your palm ran up and down his torso as to check if he was there. and once you had gotten a confirmation, you scooted in his direction and sanji held his breath as if one wayward puff of air will wake you up. 💙vinsmoke sanji was trying. he was trying o maintain his composure, to not pull you into his chest. he was trying not to think about the way your chest will feel against his, the way his fingers will glide over your thighs, the way your hand will fit around his dic— and it was as if you could hear his wretched thoughts. because your hands moved over his torso. gliding up and down. you leaned into his touch, molding your body against his. you might have been having an interesting dream cause he saw your hips gently rocking, your thighs pressed harder and you eyes clenched shut. you buried your head into his chest and the smell of your shampoo seemed to turn him on more. he ignored his weeping dick, decided to pay it no mind. but all of that resolve crumbled when he heard you moan his name into the fabric across his chest. your nails dug into his shoulders and your nose buried as deeply as it could against his skin. 💙 he gently guided his fingers to your thighs. and you shook under his soft touches. his thumb softly brushed over your clothed pussy and bucked towards his hand. he could probably just feel you up and you'd let him— "—shit." sanji quickly brought his hand back, realizing that you were sleeping and out of it. even if your lips chanted his name, he couldn't do the things his mind was convincing him to do. because if he started, he wouldn't stop. 💙so, to get himself rid of such sinful thoughts, he decided to hide in the shower and pump at his hard cock till he was tired. till you crawled out of his head. till your voice stopped ringing in his ears, making his cock impossibly harder. he slowly pushed you away, trying to climb off the bed. but as soon as you felt his warmth disappear, you cracked open an eye, "sanji?" "uh" his face went red, eyes averting, "just going to the washroom. i'd be back." you sat up, "did i go too far?" sanji's mouth hung agape as you pulled him back into bed, "i thought you wanted me to moan your name like that—" "—wh-what?" "i had a dream." you innocently traced your index nail down his torso and brushed it over his sleeping shorts, "think you can help me?" you blinked up at him, "pretty please." 💙 the next morning, the cook of the crew made the worst breakfast possible. wasn't his fault. all he could think about was you and your breathless moans and your eyes as— "this tastes like shit." the swordman argued. "thEN MAKE IT YOURSELF, FREELOADER." "might as well if you're gonna cook so bad." "—i think it tastes fine." nami sighed, "if i knew you getting some would make you a terrible cook, i would have let (yn) sleep with me and vivi." and the entire ship choked on their (terrible) breakfast.

a/n: i tweaked the prompt a bit (as i was getting stuck with the original ask), but i hope this was good enough anon!! as always, thanks for reading and send in req that you might have <3 (tagging: @bokutosbiceps cause i know you love luffy)

[steddiejudas]

STWG Daily Drabble 9/30/23

prompt: drunk talk

“Ssteeeve! Over.” Dustin’s voice comes over the radio, staticky and slurred.

It’s 1 AM, Steve has a shift first thing in the morning, and he really should be sleeping, but he’s been nervously awaiting this call all night. His kids are finally leaving the nest, going to their first party and he knew this meant they would be calling him for a ride at some point, so he kept the volume up on his radio. When he doesn’t answer fast enough, a whole chorus of clumsy voices crackle over the radio. 

“Steven Anita Harrington! Over.” Mike starts giggling like a mad man at the very incorrect middle name he’s decided to give Steve. In the background, Steve is pretty sure he can hear someone throwing up.

“Are you guys okay?” Steve asks, and then after a moment of silence, adds: “Over.”

“Thank you, Steven! We are great! Over.” There’s a cacophony of giggles and Steve is pretty sure they forgot why they even called,

“Do you need a ride? Over.” 

“To where? Over.” 

“Y- Dumbass, to your homes. Okay stay where you are, I'm coming to get you.” Steve zips a hoodie halfway up his bare chest, too tired and annoyed to put a shirt on, and grabs his keys on the way out the door. He’d had the good sense to make them tell them who was throwing the party, and a couple minutes later, he’s pulling up to a house that’s not too far from his own. He spots his gaggle of drunkards immediately, the lot of them huddled around the radio, shaking it and hitting the side like it’ll split at the seams and drop candy. “Hey! Dumbasses! Get in the car,” he hollers.

Dustin, Mike, and Lucas look up from the radio, dumbfounded. “Steve, what are you doing here?” Lucas asks.

“Dude, I just told you I was coming to pick you up.”

Mike scoffs and puts an arm around Will who, yup that definitely was puking he heard, because Will is doubled over in the bushes. “You didn’t say ‘over’, dumbass.”

“Just get in the car! You guys are sleeping at mine tonight, or your parents will kill me for letting this happen.” The boys stumble towards the car, fighting over the handle for the front seat when a large hand appears out of nowhere and pushes them out of the way.

“Nuh uh kiddos, respect your elders. I ride shotgun.” Eddie says, swaying only a fraction as bad as the kids. They grumble, but agree and help Will into the backseat. “And a good evening to you, boys.” Eddie says, staring directly at Steve’s chest. 

From the back seat there’s a chorus of “Boo! Weak! Do better!” Even from Will, who is barely holding his head up off Mike’s shoulder. Eddie takes the challenge as Steve starts driving back to his house.

“I’ve always wanted to live in the jungle,” he says. Steve has to swat Eddie’s hand away from running through his chest hair, desperately trying to be annoyed and not aroused in front of the kids. But Eddie knows Steve knows he has a thing for his hair, and Steve has a thing for anything that gets Eddie riled up. 

“What are you even doing here, Eds? I thought you were at home.”

“Team bonding?” Eddie tries.

“He was selling drugs!” Dustin hollers, absolutely zero control over his volume. 

Eddie whips around in his seat to yell “You motherfucker!” at Dustin.

“Nope,” the kid retorts. “Pretty sure that’s you.”

When they pull into Steve’s driveway, he orders the kids to go to the living room and go to sleep. The boys slowly fumble their way out of the car and through the front door, all the while Eddie stares at Steve with a lusty fire burning in his eyes. 

“You wore that just to torture me, didn’t you?” Eddie asks.

“Eddie, I didn’t even know you were at the party. Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

“OR we could stay out here and fog up these windows.”

“Nice try, my beautiful little distillery, you are far too drunk. Now be a good boy and get in bed, and maybe I’ll let you pet me you little weirdo.”

Eddie unbuckles and throws the door open so fast that he trips over his feet and face plants getting out of the car. He hops up, no worse for wear, and turns around to salute Steve. “Sir, yes sir!” He yells, and sprints through the house to Steve’s bedroom.

[mire1li]

Reader as Alastor's Mother

My very silly gf (@yurislotusgarden) gave me hc ideas so i wrote them (with her help) This is fem!Reader! Part 2!, Part 3!

𓋼 You heard about the Hazbin Hotel and decided that you wanted a chance at redemption, which is how you ended up there. Alastor was out when you arrived so Charlie met you first.

“Oh my goodness, hi! It’s a pleasure to meet you! I’m Charlie! Would you like a tour of the hotel?! Please, come inside!” She essentially dragged you in and then finally calmed down.

She would drag you around the whole hotel, explaining things too fast for you to register. And then Alastor suddenly entered the hotel, looking proud and smug as ever. 𓋼 “Alastor?”

“Mother, Is that you? It’s been far too long!”

"Indeed, it has! Say, do you know your way around here?"

"I do! Why do you ask?"

"Well… this Charlie girl gave me a tour earlier but… she was simply too frantic with explaning everything so… I couldn't really catch on to what she said"

"Ah yes, classic Charlie."

And so, he showed you around properly, in a much calmer and more understandable fashion. You two ran into Charlie once or twice, but just told her you were 'walking around and meeting the residents and staff' as to not upset her.

You took turns telling stories during your tour, his being much more interesting than you'd expected! 𓋼 Charlie and Vaggie essentially had the exact same reaction to finding out you’re Alastor’s mother. Since one was out when the other found out, it made it much funnier.

“Hey Alastor, who is this?”

“Why, it’s my mother!” He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and brought you closer, in a side-hug, wearing the most sly grin any of them had ever seen.

“Oh, alright- hold on what?!” 𓋼 I could see Angel and Husk talking about you at the bar, nothing bad, of course.

“So who’s she?” Angel sat down on one of the seats

“Heard she’s Alastor’s mother” Husk turned to Angel and offered him a shot.

“His mother? Why’s she here?”

“Gee, I wonder why someone would come to the hotel all about redemption” 𓋼 “So, you’re down here then, Alastor. No surprise there.”

“Oh please, you flatter me, Mother.” 𓋼 From the day you two were reunited, he always came to you to tell you about any recent achievements of his.

Everyone was absolutely terrified when they found out about you being his mother for 2 main reasons:

1 If Alastor is as scary as he is, then imagine how much scarier his mother would be! But in truth, you’re an absolute sweetheart, which shocked everyone, causing them to be more cautious around you, in case it was all a lie. (It wasn’t)

2 Alastor is incredibly protective of you, even though he hasn’t explicitly said anything, everyone saw how he watched them when they spoke with you. Especially Angel. 𓋼 One time, it just so happened that Alastor was 'out on business' as he called it. During that time, Charlie's father, Lucifer Morningstar, came by to check on his daughter and the hotel.

He saw you, and his first words were "Hey there, are ya single by chance?~"

Charlie saw him flirting with you so she ran up to him and introduced you as Alastor's mother, in an attempt to scare him off from you since Lucifer and Alastor don't exactly get along… although, instead of deterring him, it just motivated him to continue.

"Dad! This is [Name]! Alastor's mother!"

"Oooh! His mother you say?~"

"Dad!"

You and him were just talking, Charlie trying to pull him away from you, when Alastor returned to the hotel. Oh, he was not happy.

"Lucifer, you sly motherfucker."

"I for sure will be one tonight!"

Let's just say… Lucifer didn't return to the hotel when Alastor was around, for a good while… 𓋼 Whenever you were bored, you would bake things for the other hazbin residents and staff. Everyone adored whatever you made! When you told everyone you would always bake when you were alive, no one was surprised.

Speaking of when you were alive and baking, one day young Alastor had walked in on you baking and got curious.

"Mother! What are you doing?"

"I'm baking, darling"

"Can I help you??"

"Alright, but be careful"

You allowed him to mix the batter and check the oven. 𓋼 He would always come help you whenever he knew you were baking, even as he grew older. And after death, he always recalled those memories, missing those times, so when he saw you in the kitchen of the hotel, he wondered what you were doing.

"Mother! What are you doing?" he asked, looking over your shoulder at the ingredients.

"I'm going to bake something for everyone, darling!"

"Oh? Can I… help you?"

He was a bit shy. Just a little bit.

At some point during your baking time, Angel entered the kitchen for something, only to see Alastor mixing some batter whilst you were preparing other ingredients.

"What the fuck Alastor? What the fuck's wrong with ya?"

"Nothing is wrong with me, I'm simply baking with my mother."

"What the fuck…"

And then Husk entered.

"What is happening?"

"Get this, Alastor is baking"

Husk laughed and took the opportunity to tease Alastor, because why wouldn't he?

"You've gone soft, Alastor!"

"Haha! Shut up."

"Alastor! Be nice to your friends!" you exclaimed and lightly whacked him over the head with a wooden spoon.

Angel and Husk snickered and ran out of the kitchen after that, clearly on their way to cause mischief. 𓋼 Everyone was gathered in the lobby doing their own thing, when Angel and Husk ran into the room, laughing about something.

"You guys won't believe it! Alastor got hit over the head with a wooden spoon! By his mother!" he exclaimed, attracting everyone's attention.

It only took you and Alastor another hour to finish what you were baking, so when you both entered the lobby with the cookies you baked, everyone turned their attention to you, and the gossiping and questions began.

"Oh, look! It seems the almighty radio demon wasn't completely defeated by that wooden spoon, after all!" Angel laughed

𓋼 After that whole fiasco, Angel started calling Alastor the "Spoon Demon", which Alastor didn't appreciate but he understood it was all in good fun so eventually he, though begrudgingly, embraced it. 𓋼 One day, you decided that you were bored, so you took a bunch of hair accessories with you to Alastor and started decorating his hair with pins, most of them being sparkly, and he didn't have the heart to say no… at some point he tried to take them off but he noticed that it made you sad, so for the entire day, he walked around the hotel with them in his hair, prompting Angel to call him "Sparkles" that day. And maybe a few more 'days' after that too…

𓋼 On certain days, Alastor would be incredibly clingy, always hugging you and never leaving your side. He never told you why but whenever it was one of these days, no one seemed to bother him. You assumed he was in a bad mood.

𓋼 Alastor asked you how you died during one of his 'clingy days', and when you told him that you died of old age, he seemed much happier that week. He even helped Charlie renovate some of the hotel for free!

𓋼 Naturally, Vaggie was suspicious of him when she noticed he was this happy

"What's got you in such a bubbly mood?"

"Oh, nothing~"

"uh huh…"

"What? Can I not have a good day?" 𓋼 Charlie announced that as a 'team building' activity they'd be having a sleepover, which Alastor opted to skip out on, however, you convinced him to go. The next day, the tips of his claws, where his nails would be, were painted all sorts of colours. You were also shown pictures of Alastor in full makeup… this was certainly the work of Charlie and Angel.

"Never again."

"Oh come on, you need to spend time with them!"

"Absolutely not, Mother."

[hibiscuswrites]

Hi I really love your Rio headcons and I as wondering how he would react when him and the reader are arguing bout Beth and she brings up how she shouldn’t even be mad about them hooking up when they weren’t together since she hooked up with another guy herself

You're in danger girl 🫣

"She don't even matter to me, why can't you understand that?"

Rio was exasperated with you, tired of having this conversation

You didn't like Beth

That much was clear and understood

To a certain extent, he couldn't either

But he still had a business to run, and she was part of that

So by default, he still had to deal with her

It was always strictly business

Never any interactions past that

He was never even really alone with her

He wouldn't even interact with her himself unless it was absolutely necessary

But that didn't matter to you

All that mattered was that he had slept with her while the two of you were on a break

And that was enough for you to never want her near him again

But that just 'wasn't possible' according to Rio

And while he had been understanding and patient in the beginning, you still were on about it months down the line

"It's business. I have to talk to her. Thats the way this works. I barely even see the lady. Chill the fuck out."

You huffed, fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of your nose in anger and frustration

"Whatever. It's whatever. You don't get it and there's no possible way for me to make you get it. Who gives a fuck. Shouldn't even let it get to me. I fucked that dude when we were split anyway so I guess we're even."

You turned away from him, anticipating that the argument was over

You were talking more to yourself than him after all

You walked into the living room and plopped yourself down on the couch, expecting that he would follow you and come sit beside you

But when you turned, he was still standing in the exact same spot

Head tilted

Eyes ablaze

"........What the fuck did you just say?"

Your eyes widened slightly before they narrowed

"Oh please. Don't even start. We just had this whole argument about how it doesn't matter what happened on the break, so spare me."

You crossed your arms over your chest and leaned back into the couch, bringing your legs up to cross them as well

Rio's steps were slow as he approached you, head tilted

"I know...I didn't hear what I think I just heard."

You kept your eyes on him silently as he made his way over to you

All the way until his knees were against the sofa and he leaned down

Hands pressing into the couch on either side of you

Eyes dark as night as he stared at you

"You fucked who?"

You swallowed, mouth open for a few seconds before you actually spoke

"Just some guy. Met him at a club. It was nothing."

Rio nodded, anger rolling off of him in waves

"Tell me about this him. What was his name?"

And your rebuttal didn't help

"I know you're not about to sit here pissed that I slept with someone I've never even seen again, when you fucked Mrs. Better Homes and Gardens and you see her ass every week."

His jaw ticked but he said nothing, knowing that you were right

Standing up straight, he kept his eyes on you, fingers pointing threateningly as he came to sit down beside you

"Let me catch that motherfucker."

Rio taglist

@belle82devart @thickemadame @aria725 @glimmerglittergirl @tashawar @myaloveee @feelingsandemotionsnotexplored @smoooore @woahitslucyylu @browngirldominion @hopefuloperaangelnerd @lillict @namjoonwatcheshentai @sesamepancakes @thelimited-unlimited @myeverythingisyourstruly @pinky-kitty @nintendhoe8 @laylasbunbunny @lovesanimals0000 

General taglist

 @titty-teetee   @vibranium-soul @ateliefloresdaprimavera @glimmerglittergirl @hatterripper31 @lilac-tea-time @krysiewithak

[bakugoushotwife]

OMG GIRL

i just got a brilliant idea,

ok so roommate gojo finds reader in only a shirt (his shirt btw ;)) and underwear

and then things just get absolutely dirty

i hope you like this idea just as much as i do!!!

thanks so much 🫶🏻

a/n: god i wanna kiss u on the mouth for these sometimes. this has been in the forefront of my mind for days!!! it went a little off the rails babe ngl

cw: pervy gojo, yandere-esque gojo, he's obssessed and delulu. unprotected sex, facefucking, fingering and oral (fem receiving), mating press, breeding, daddy, pet names, mean-ish roommate gojo, size kink, panty stealing, uh lemme know if i missed anything. will go back and edit!

wc: 4.5k

Lucky Day (Satoru Gojo x fem!reader)

This apartment was so shitty, and your landlord was even worse. Your roommate was at work, so there really was no other option. The pipes on the washer bursted, spraying the outfit you had on and making sure you couldn’t wash anymore. It was a miracle that you managed to turn the water to the washing machine off, you felt like a goddamn plumber from that alone. You even accomplished ordering a new pipe, only problem being it wouldn’t arrive for three more days. 

With a heavy sigh, you peel off your soaked crop top and sling it in your hamper, sliding off your shorts and underwear as well, truly unlucky. The only mercy shining upon you at this point was being home alone as you sprint to your room naked. You can only imagine the endless teasing that you would receive if Satoru was here. 

You grumble about your misfortune under your breath, pilfering through your drawers to find a new outfit to put on. Of course, you would be so unlucky yet again. You look up to the gods with narrowed eyes, as if this was personal. Really, it’s your own fault, damn the procrastination tendency you struggled with. You just had random pairs of socks and a Christmas themed onesie. You were honestly grateful to locate a red lace thong that was venturing closer to the shoelace side of size. You tug the poor excuse for underwear up your thighs, letting them slap against your hips in frustration. You had to put something on, your roommate was a huge tease, the gorgeous motherfucker. It was highly annoying, though you imagine if you were so unnervingly beautiful you may act the same way. In any event, walking around topless was not an option. You can practically hear the sarcastic whip of his voice dripping off his tongue right now. 

“Oh-ho-ho, did I come home or did I walk into a titty bar?” 

“And you swear you don’t want me, sweetheart?” 

“Aw, how did you know I had a bad day?” 

Each line makes you shiver. He was impossible to deal with, but he kept the rent low. As much as you hate to admit it he was nice to look at too, though you were hell bent on keeping that to yourself. He knew it anyway, there was no need to inflate his already massive ego. Why would you tell him? It would just be embarrassing, especially with his naturally outgoing nature. He would rip you apart if you admitted how you may actually feel about your snarky counterpart. You were nothing special to look at anyway, it would be silly to get your hopes up. Maybe he was annoying, but parts of you enjoyed him pestering you all hours of the day and scaring any potential suitors away. 

You would definitely never hear the end of it if you didn’t cover up soon, the clock ticking closer and closer to his typical arrival time. You groan. The only solution was putting on something of his. This route would still produce plenty of jabs, but at least you could potentially explain what had happened. You dart across the hall to his room, yanking open his drawers. You’ve been in his room several times, but it’s always slightly surprising each time. He’s cleaner than you’d think, and the room is decorated very minimally. You rummage through his dresser, finally locating a black tee. You’ve seen this one on him before, and it fits him like a second layer of skin, but you’re around a foot shorter, so it should serve to cover your chest comfortably. You tug it over your head, humming in satisfaction. It falls just above your knees, more dress than shirt. You sigh once more at the outfit pairing, but you return to your room all the same. You decide to curl up with a book until your nuisance comes home, after texting to see if Shoko would let you come over to wash some clothes. 

“Honeyyyy I’m homeeeee.” Satoru sings, keys jingling as he comes through the door of the humble abode. He scrunches his nose, smelling the metallic tinge to the air, so he goes to check out the laundry room. It’s a mess of towels attempting to soak up the flood of water, every piece of fabric in the vicinity was soaked. He clicks his tongue. Luckily the water had been turned off, but Gojo wondered to himself if a maintenance man came in to rescue you, knowing you can hardly turn on the gas stove yourself. He can’t help but be a little jealous, no—overprotective. You were such a delicious little thing, and he can’t stand to see you get ogled by men less than deserving. You won’t give him the time of day, though he’s most certainly the only man deserving of ogling you. He hums at the scene, deciding he should go and ask what happened, that way he could figure out if that pervy handyman needed his eyes gouged out. 

He marches to your room and pushes the door open. “So–the pipe on the wa—” 

He froze. He’s greeted with the sight of you stretched out on top of your comforter, one long leg folded delicately over the other, until his t-shirt covered the rest of you from the knee up. It dwarfed you, made him painfully aware how much smaller you were. So tiny compared to someone so tall and strong as him. Yet you swear he’s the tease. He bites his lip, shamelessly pulling his dark lenses down his nose, crystal clear eyes peeking over the frames to memorize everything about you. You sat with your back straight against the headboard, small hands clutching a thick book.

 “Am I dreaming, or are you laying there in my shirt and nothing else?” He grinned, propping an arm up on the doorway. He doesn’t miss the way you squirm under his lazer focus. 

You feel your body heat up. You even had prep time, yet you still didn’t know exactly what to say. You swallow thickly. “I have panties on. I had nothing to put on! The pipe burst on the washer and soaked me–”

“Oh I’ll get you soaked babe–”

“Satoru!” You yelp, slamming your book closed with a loud clap. He just snorts at your embarrassment, half-lidded eyes still scanning over you to make his desire known. You can’t count the amount of times that your roomie has openly flirted with you, but it shocked you each time. 

“Y/N!” He mocked, rolling his eyes. He pushes himself off the frame and gets to the edge of your bed within a few strides. He plops down uninvited, staring at you almost as if he’s challenging you. He rests his hand on your calf, and you just stare at the point of contact with a raised brow. The man is awfully comfortable putting his hands on you, though that’s because you’ve been his since the day you moved in, in his mind. All this banter is just him being sweet and romantic. He sighs. “Let’s get real, hm? You look irresistible in my clothes, my mouth is watering over here, princess. I want ya. So stop acting like you don’t want me.” 

You watch as his tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip, his foot anxiously tapping on the ground. He’s holding back demons here, and he doesn't know how much longer he can keep himself together. It felt like the room got twenty degrees warmer, electricity brewing like you were sitting in the center of a thunderstorm. You suck in a breath of surprise, the angel and devil on your shoulder going back and forth. He was impossibly annoying, clingy and obsessive. He was like a guard dog, but if it was a guard giraffe instead with his lanky limbs and otherwise goofy nature. On the other hand, he was impossibly sexy, and you would be a dirty liar if you continued to pretend you didn’t want him to rearrange your guts in his t-shirt. 

But what’s the harm in being a tease?

“What if I don’t?” You smirk, to which he mirrors your expression. If you want to play, he can do that too. He’ll make you regret it though. That flash of adoration in your eyes told him everything he needed to know. 

“Give me a chance anyway. You’ll never fuck anyone else after this, I promise.” He says, not waiting for another catty reply from your pouty lips. He’s lunging forward, large hands grabbing your face to keep you from escaping him. Another second passes and his lips smash on yours. He’s needy, messy, and not holding himself back in this clash of teeth and lips and tongue. You were shocked by his passion, not realizing just how serious Satoru was in his pursuit of you. He kisses you like it’s the only thing he’s ever wanted, swallowing up any chance you have at getting oxygen with his saliva coated lips. You fist the cover beneath you, clutching the cotton for dear life. 

He’s consuming your senses and you wouldn’t have it any other way; you feel stupid for denying yourself of this for nearly two years now. His touch is fiery, you can feel his fingerprints burn into your skin and the only cure is more of those large palms gliding over your shoulders and chest. You relax into him, moving your mouth fluidly against his smiling one; his taste is of some sort of candy..starbursts maybe, but just the pink ones. His tongue gives you that flavor as it melds with yours, dominating it easily. He’s breathing heavy and grunting, the sound almost sweeter than the candy on his breath. They’re high pitched and whiny, he’s been picturing this scenario for a while now. You find yourself laying back, tugging him by the shirt to hover over you. The fabric wafted his vanilla sandalwood fragrance, of course he would smell and taste so delicious. It’s so befitting of such a deviantly perfect man. He doesn't hesitate to cover your frame with his, boxing your hips in under his as he straddles them. He breaks the make-out session to sit back on his knees to peel off his shirt–a white one not unlike the black one you stole. He throws it over his shoulder and you both hear it faintly fall in the distance. Then you both sigh, you squirm beneath him, hips shamelessly rolling into his semi. The corners of his lips curled into a smile. 

You looked truly angelic, as always. Your lips were plump and swollen from the way he smothered them, your tits perked up and nipples poking through the fabric of his tee. Your hair was just starting to get messy, and he had half a mind to fuck that bratty mouth of yours, holding out on him this long just to look up at him with those needy doe eyes. Now he’s really smirking, and it goes from an idea, to something he just has to see. He gets off of you, sliding out of his shoes, peeling off those annoying socks and his tight black jeans. He hisses when his throbbing erection isn’t so choked back, palming himself over his underwear. He goes to slide those off too when he catches you sitting up to remove his shirt. 

“No. Leave that on.” He growled, yanking his underwear off and throwing it with the rest of the discarded clothes. You hummed in response, the husk of his voice sending a jolt to your pussy. You knew you were growing damp, and the tiny lace wouldn’t do much to stop that from being painfully obvious. You sigh softly at the sight of him, though it almost pisses you off. Yes, of course, even his cock is utterly perfect. Somewhere in the eight inches ballpark, purple veins along his curved shaft led to a pretty pink tip glossy with his arousal. He thumbs the slit and spreads it further, beautiful blue eyes fluttering shut to enjoy the brief strokes. You whine, not sure what he wants you to do. 

Satoru has planned this day for so long, he’ll make sure you comply with his every request to fulfill this fantasy. He stands at the foot of your bed, huge hands wrapping around your ankles so he can drag you to lay completely flat on the mattress. There’s that devious smirk you know, your eyes widen slightly in wonder. He was planning something. 

“I can use that loud ass mouth, right?” He hums, getting back to his knees on the bed. But this time, instead of straddling your hips, he positions his knees on either side of your shoulders. You gulp, his full length looming large over your face. You look past his dick to his oceanic stare. 

“Yeah, yeah. Do your worst.” You manage to squeak, trying to reserve some of your pride. His eyes burn with amusement. He reaches his hand forward, putting a thumb on your chin to tilt your mouth downwards. He grins, angling your throat. 

“You shouldn’t have said that.” He clicked his tongue, swiping at your bottom lip. “Goddamn, I’m gonna ruin you.” He says, affectionately smoothing down your hair while tapping your mouth with his tip. “Open up.”

You part your lips wider, relaxing your jaw; you even stick your tongue out to provide him the perfect mental image to remember. He slides his cock into your silky throat, hot mouth swallowing him all up so good he’s fighting that ball of tension in his stomach just from the sight. He knows he’ll last, even if cums down your throat he’ll make sure he pumps you full of another round. You clearly needed to know who you belonged to. He leans his weight forward, his tip colliding with your gag reflex. You choke around him, but he doesn’t let up. His hand catches him on the headboard, and now he has the perfect angle to hammer into your wet mouth without mercy. He keeps his icy gaze angled down, he can’t miss a second of your tears pooling and sliding down your reddened cheeks. You’re so beautiful, he can’t believe you made him wait two years to claim you like this. That’s fine, he understands that his powerful presence can be a bit much. He is the Honored One after all. He was content to wait for you until you could honor him. 

He’s huge in your throat. You can feel your walls spasm around his cock, gagging and sputtering on him as he relentlessly slams into you. Your nose collides with his snowy pubes every time, saliva slicking down everything. Your cunt burns for attention, he’s driving you crazy with the way he’s looking at you, long white lashes framing the darkest lust-fueled stare you’ve ever seen. He’s using you so perfectly, you don’t mind being sore and unable to speak if it means you get to drink his load. Your hand sneaks over your thighs, sliding your thong over. You’re so drenched that the cold air makes you whimper around his gag, but you let your longest digit glide to your soaking hole. Gathering some of your slick, you slide back up to your aching bundle of nerves, easing circles over yourself. You sigh with relief, and Satoru turns to see why, grunting with dissatisfaction. His hips still, and he reaches to slap your hand away and give a punishing slap to your cunt. You jerk up in surprise, though the pressure was sickeningly sweet. 

“None of that shit. You oughta wait longer, made me wait two whole years to make you mine.” He growls, bringing his hands back to hold your face. He rocks his hips into your face again, moaning softly at how well you’ve acclimated to his rod. Your gags are so erotic, giving you and him both goosebumps. He chuckles, feeling his stomach and cock twitch. 

“Swallow it all or I’m not touching you.” He warns, spurting his seed down your throat. It’s a heavy load, spilling into your cheeks as he drags his cock out. You cover your mouth to keep any of his cum from leaking out, swallowing the hot liquid instantly. His hold on your cheeks makes it easy for him to push your mouth open, making sure you swallow every bit. He taps his tip against your lips in satisfaction, sliding back down your body to straddle your thighs this time. “That’s a good fuckin’ girl. You want me to eat your pussy?” He asks, sharp white teeth nipping at the delicate skin of your neck. 

You nod, still gasping for breath. Your blood was thumping in your ears as well as your pussy, and all you could think about was his strong tongue against yours earlier. 

“Beg me for it.” He smiles, breaking some skin below your collarbone and lapping his tongue over it. “Kept me waitin’ angelface. I think it’s the least you can do for me.” He coos, pushing his tee up all the way up your perfect thighs and over your tits. He nibbles his lower lip at the sight of your exposed body, not that it was the first time he’s seen you. Fresh out of the shower, scouring for clothes with no idea he’s watching or when your pajamas are so skanky you might as well wear nothing at all. This was special though, this was you wanting him, this was you begging for him to make you cum. 

You whine, squirming under him. He eyes the slutty panties, shaking his head. “And I thought I hid all of these…” He sighs, working the drenched fabric off. He sniffs them and whimpers, they smell just as heavenly as all the others. Your pussy glistens with your floods of slick, he can’t help but lick his lips, palming his semi into a full erection again. You hardly thought he was serious with all of his flirts. He definitely seemed like the type to just enjoy flustering someone. Plus, you didn’t quite understand what he saw in you–surely he could be with super models. But he made you cancel any date you had for the past two years and actively barked at anyone who looked at you twice, and now stealing your panties for his use… surely that was a lot of commitment if he was just teasing you right? Fucking your mouth like it was his god given right, wanting you to beg for him, he really did want you carnally. 

“Satoru,” You sigh out breathlessly, the man just out of arm’s reach. You bat your lashes and stare up at him. “Oh god, I’m sorry! I didn’t know you really wan’ed me! I didn’t mean to make you wait, baby, please–just please make me yours. I can’t take it ‘nymore, Sato..” You pant. He swears he’s vibrating, the pout in your voice just too much to handle. He needs you just as bad, but he has to make you cum for him before he ruins your cunt. He bites your thigh, determined to leave a bruise there, too. He’ll mark you up now that you’re his, no one could ever doubt or deny who you belong to. He only knows passion and all or nothing, his love is smothering and obsessive, and you’ll know everything about that. He groans, smelling your dripping juices was the final straw. His lips latch onto your painful need and you gasp out at the feeling. Your thigh burned where he had indented his teeth into it, but the pain only served to fog your brain up and soak your cunt just that much more

“Shoulda known I was serious.” He complains in between languid laps to your middle, drinking up the nectar. “I forgive you. ‘S gonna be okay now, I got us now.” He sighs dreamily, beginning a feisty assault on your core. He nibbles at your clit, sucking on it harshly and then following it with sweet and soothing licks. He can’t help but dip his svelte fingers in your tight hole, growling as you clamp around him. He knows you’re gonna be so fucking tight, and now he’s rutting his hips into your bed to stave off his desire until he pleases you to his liking. He coos as your arousal coats his plump pink lips, shaking his head as he devours you. His fingers pump and curl in all the right places. You’re sputtering and gasping, eyes clenched shut so hard colored orbs prick at your vision. You’re about to explode, every orgasm you’ve ever brought yourself or experienced before paling in comparison to the one you’re about to succumb to now. 

Your legs shake, clenching around his head. His strong hands force your legs back down, squeezing gently on your thighs. He kneads the flesh, admiring how easily you surrendered to him. “You bout to cum, sweet girl?” He teases, working into your spongy spot with his lengthy fingers. 

You nod, worried that he’d make you beg for that too.You decided to get ahead of the curve, babbling immediately. “Yes, please Satoru! Wan’ cum for you s’bad–please!” 

He chuckles, “Of course darling. Cum for me, Tell me I’m the only one who can make you feel this good.” He demands, watching your nose scrunch up and your body jerk involuntarily. He can feel the flood of your release against his fingers, and he grins. He can’t hold it back anymore, he has to have you right now. He doesn’t let you recover, folding your legs into a mating press to start, sliding his aching length through your slippery hole and into those choking walls. He groans, letting his head fall back. You were just as tight as he imagined–no, tighter! This was all for him, no one but him would ever touch you again. The way you grip him sends chills down his spine, and his obsessive craving for you turns into an insatiable need. You watch his adam's apple bob in his throat, eyeing the rest of his bare chest and abs that had their own abs. He growls, his hold on the underside animalist. “Oh my god, doll..” He groans, breathing through his nose in an effort to calm himself.

 “I’m gonna give it you so fucking good, little one. Gonna claim you in every way, give you my kids, don’t’cha want that?” He coos, hips snapping into your ass rapidly. He’s abusing your spot instantly, and he knows it. It’s partially because he knows he can’t last too long in this glorious cunt when he’s this worked up and partially because he wants to see you come undone before him, begging for him to fill you to the brim. He did say he’d claim you in every way, what could be more of his mark? His teeth prints bruising your sweet skin, or his child growing in your womb? He shivers at the idea. He never thought this way about people before you. Something about your perfect hair and your sweet smile made him horny in ways he never knew. He craves seeing you full of his cum, making you hold it and not letting you get any medicine to keep you from conceiving. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be, right? 

His cock fills you so right that you know you’d agree to anything right now. Your feet shake by your ears, you can’t take his repeated and unforgiving slams. You nod dumbly, craving his hot load in your pussy and more of his dirty fantasies. “Mhm, wan’ give you pretty babies, ‘Toru, jus’ give it all to me.” You plead, tits bouncing with his brutal fucks. 

His mouth drops open. “Agh, oh fuck..you really want me to knock you up baby? Lock me in as your baby daddy?” He questions breathily, dick jumping as you clench down. You really did like the idea it seems, as your wanton moans and soaking wave of cum clue him in to some fantasies of your own. 

You nod vigorously again. “Yes! Oh my god, yes, please, Daddy…I’ll make you one I swear!” His whines are so rewarding. The pleasure you send coursing through him causes his brows to furrow.

“You fucking got it angel. Make me a baby.” He nods, determined to follow through on your wish. His cheeks flush, his cum shooting all over your walls. It was hot and gushing, your hole clenches in an effort to hold onto it.  He’s wanted you all this time, there was no way you would escape him now. Now, you were all for him forever, and he hoped his seed took hold and grew within you. Couldn’t be so bratty if you were glowing with a child, his child. He had more than enough money, in his mind it's completely rational. He just wanted you to be reminded who you are now, who you belong to. The world needs to know it too, and he doesn’t mind to keep trying until it works. “Gonna look so pretty when you swell up for me.” He giggles, lazily blinking at you. He pushes your beautiful hair out of your face, gently holding your cheek. 

“I love you. That’s why I act this way. You’re all mine now, for good. I'll always take good care of you, my pretty mama.” He coos, his voice sweet as he leans up to kiss your parted lips, your body still coping with the waves of pleasure. Sure, all the dinners you’ve made for him and all the times you’ve folded his laundry was just you being nice, but you knew why you cared so much for your annoyingly handsome roommate. 

“I love you too. Here I was thinking this was the unluckiest day of my life.” You snort, running your hands through his white locks as he remains content to lay on top of you. He chuckles in return, but his mind is busy. He’s thinking about what theme for the nursery, names for your son or daughter, and how good you’d look needing him for everything for the next nine months. 

[sugusearrings]

( ‘ better .’ ) You keep my hand around your neck, we connect, are you feeling it now? Cause I am. You keep my hand around your neck, we connect, are you feeling it now? I got so high the other night, I swear to God, felt my feet lift the ground. I got so high the other night, I swear to God, felt my feet lift the ground. Oh yeah, Your back against the wall This is all you’ve been talking about In my ears Nothing feels better than this.

— summary: gojo satoru is living a life nobody knows about. not even his two bestfriends. he wants you (fem!reader) all to himself. — genre: super fluff but the end :( — playing: better by khalid — note(s): this song reminds me of gojo so much just being happy and living his life. daddy gojo needs a happy ending and come home already! 😭 but i'm so so sorry for the end please forgive me. very brief mention of smut though. might be some spelling errors, kind of tired and lazy to do rn sorry. — word count: 3k

Satoru Gojo is the strongest sorcerer alive.

He is the honored one.

He is gifted with the Six eyes.

And he is one cocky motherfucker. He always knew about the power he contained which did give him an ego boost. Nobody can tell him otherwise, he is the strongest and honored one.

Many would wonder who would put up with Satoru and his egoistic attitude? Underneath it he is very caring of everyone and he can be funny too. Sometimes. Or at least Shoko and Suguru would say. But they did enjoy their snowy color hair friend and of course he loved his two closest friends.

It was just another day of Gojo bragging how he conquered today’s mission. Shoko was texting on her phone while Suguru was ordering a coffee at the cafe they stopped at because Gojo was whining and pleading to go there since last week. Gojo stopped rambling as his perfect shade of blue eyes looked through the glass of the treats they had on display. Suguru noticed his friend eyeing all the sweets. He knew where this was going.

“Are you really going to waste money on all those sweets, Satoru?” Suguru asked, taking a sip of his coffee. Gojo looked over at the raven hair boy and grinned. It was like he read his mind.

“And why wouldn’t I? Shouldn’t the strongest get a reward?”

That’s when he heard it. He heard a gentle giggle coming from inside. The cafe was small so it didn’t take long for Gojo to see you with your group of friends. He saw the group wearing the same school uniform so it was obvious you all went together. He wasn’t sure if you were giggling at him or with your friends.

But it caught his attention.

He was so caught up staring at you he didn’t even hear the cashier trying to get his attention so they could take his order. He waved them off before making his way over to you.

“That was bold of him.”

Shoko said, reaching to grab Suguru’s coffee for a sip. Suguru nodded. He was taken aback by Gojo's sudden action. His dark hues watched as his best friend brought a chair to sit at your table to talk to you. He noticed the faint blush on your cheeks as you laughed at one of his corny jokes.

“Very bold.” Suguru smiled at Satoru coming back towards them with a cheesy grin on his face.

“Not only am I the strongest and honored one, I am the most handsome.” He announced proudly.

“Is that so Satoru?” He chuckled while taking his coffee back from Shoko. Gojo nodded, getting back on line.

“Very much so, Sugu!”

The two boys looked over seeing you shyly wave at Satoru before leaving the cafe. “She thinks I’m very handsome.” He winked at Suguru then turned to wave goodbye to you.

“She probably said that so you can leave her alone.” Shoko chimed in. Suguru chuckled watching Satoru pout like the brat he is.

“Oh yeah? Then why would she give me this?”

Satoru proudly showed your name on a napkin along with your number. Shoko took it to examine it while Suguru’s bangs draped over her head as he leaned over to read. They were pretty shocked his corny lines actually worked.

“Maybe she’s desperate.” Shoko mumbled. Satoru gasped dramatically, holding his chest with his hand.

“Hey!”

“Name..is very pretty. But she’s definitely a non-sorcerer. Maybe she does actually like you, Toru.” Suguru smiled. Satoru was still pouting, and took out his yellow flip phone. “I’ll text, name right now!”

Satoru grumbled. He glanced over to see his slice of strawberry cake ready to be eaten. He handed the cashier his card and grabbed the bag.

A whole day passed and Satoru received no text back. Of course his friends teased him about how you gave him a fake number. He started to lose some hope. Maybe his friends were right. Maybe you gave him the wrong number just so he can leave you alone. It kind of hurt but he wasn’t going to tell Shoko and Suguru that. He really thought you two hit it off the other day.

Satoru was actually in his dorm just laying on his bed in the dark. He was actually nodding off into a nap when he heard his phone buzz. He groaned quietly, reaching over for it. He assumed it was Suguru texting him to ask where he was. But when he saw an unfamiliar number he furrowed his white brows. He opened the text.

hey satoru. it’s me, name.

He quickly sat up and sat on the edge of the bed. His eyes widening and his heartbeat stops. You actually text him.

heyyy name. wat’s up?

Was that too basic? Was that too dry? Shit. Why did he reply so fast?! Now he looks desperate.

Another buzz.

i’m good! srry i didn’t reply yesterday, i got caught up studying and ended up passing out with my book on my chest.

Satoru chuckled lightly, imagining you so tired you slept with the book in hand.

u probably looked so cute like that.

Buzz.

oh please lol

no seriously! but don’t study too hard, don’t want you too tired you’ll forget about lil old me

i’m sure it’ll be hard to forget someone like you, satoru.

He smiled down at his small screen reading over that text.

You confirmed to Gojo that you were a non-sorcerer without even saying it.

You went to regular school and had a pretty normal life. You were raised by a single mother who works in a hospital as a nurse. You had a younger sibling who was in grade school. You hated math but really loved literature. You wanted to be a teacher not so much a nurse because you saw the long hours your mother worked. She didn’t have too much time for you or your sibling so most of the responsibilities were left on you. Your favorite color was blue ( of course he made a joke it was your favorite now because of his eyes - he might be right on that but you didn’t tell him that ). You also had such a sweet tooth.

Gojo decided not to tell his best friends about you replying to him. Maybe it was selfish of him to keep them out of it, but he just didn’t correct them when they asked about you again. Soon it was forgotten and nobody brought you up. Gojo also kept it to himself of his power, him being a sorcerer. He just told you he went to a good private school. Lucky for him, you didn’t ask any follow up questions.

Whenever he had a long mission and it would be hard to text you back, he would just say he was studying for an upcoming exam. You were very understanding because you were going through the same thing. But when Gojo did come home, he would call you.

You two would speak on the phone for hours. He liked the sound of your voice. He liked the silence you two would share on the phone. It could be a whole hour of silence and he was content just hearing you hum a little tune or curse under your breath while you were looking for something you misplaced. Gojo would fall asleep to the sound of your voice late at night. You would tell him goodnight before you went to sleep yourself. Being with you, Satoru was not the strongest.

He was not the honored one

He didn’t need his Six eyes.

He was just Satoru Gojo.

When Gojo didn’t have missions, that’s when you two spent time together. You two would flip a coin to see if you were going to one of his favorite restaurants or one of your favorite museums. The day would always end at the cafe where you two met. You two would share a slice of strawberry cake and each would take a turn eating the strawberry on top. But Satoru would always pretend he would forget whose turn it was and would let you eat it.

When you graduated school, you did invite him to the ceremony. You swore you didn’t see him in the crowd. But he was there, cheering your name so loud it caused you to flush and get a little embarrassed. After the ceremony, Gojo hung out with your family and they adored him. Your sibling thought he was so funny and your mother couldn’t get over how charming he was.

When it was time for him to go, you walked him downstairs. You insist you would walk him to the bus but Gojo rejected the offer. He didn’t want you walking back by yourself.

“Thank you for coming, Satoru. It means so much to me.”

You told him with a smile looking up at him. Gojo felt his throat drying up and his palms becoming sweaty. He bit down his lip feeling his heart race picking up. You noticed he was awfully quiet. You furrowed your brows. “Toru?”

Gojo leaned down to press his lips against yours. You froze up a bit before you could react, Gojo pulled away quickly.

“I-I’m sorry I-I just couldn’t…I-...fuck!” He yelled, grabbing the bridge of his nose dropping his head. You stood frozen not even noticing him having a melt down. When you finally snapped out of it you saw the dark red on his cheeks with a frown. “I-I didn’t mean to cross the boundaries like that honestly, name. I won't ever do it aga –”

You pulled the collar of his jacket down enough so you can kiss him back. His eyes widened behind his sunglasses. He reacted faster than you did, he placed his hand on your cheek and began to kiss you back.

So you two began to date once the summer began. Did much change between you and Gojo? Not really. Your mother and friends were surprised you two just now became a couple. They just assumed you two were already dating.

He was just a lot more affectionate. He would hold your hand anywhere you two went. He would kiss you while waiting to cross the street or hold you from behind. Gojo would take pictures of you or the two of you whenever he could. When he would pick you up he would have a gift or flowers. Most of the time it was both.

He was the perfect boyfriend. Your friends loved him so much he was always invited when you guys would hang out. Even girls night, they would invite Gojo. They love when he would come for karaoke especially.

Gojo liked this life he had on the side and didn’t have to share it with anyone. He wanted to keep you away from that as much as possible. All to himself.

But at the end of the summer, everything changed.

Gojo was late to come over for a date you both planned. He’s never late to anything. He even shows up at least half an hour early. When you were calling and sending texts over and over, you knew something was wrong. So you just waited till it was time to go to sleep.

Late at night you woke up to a pair of cerulean blues staring down at you.

“Gojo?!”

You nearly yelled startled. He hushed you not to wake up your sibling who was sleeping. You sat up and was ready to ask him so many questions. Like how did he get inside of your apartment? Why was he just showing up now? But Gojo fell onto his knees then broke down into sobs. Tears streaming down his now red cheeks. The cry was from heartbreak. You got off the bed to comfort your boyfriend.

That’s when you found out about his best friend, Geto left.

And everything else.

It took a few days for Gojo to explain everything to you. About curses, his mission, his six eyes, his friends, and everything else. It honestly made your head spin. At first you thought he was mad and just making it up. But once he showed you his infinity and tried to get close to him. You physically couldn't. It was like a force field was keeping you two apart. You were dating Satoru Gojo, The strongest sorcerer alive.

The honored one.

Gifted with the Six eyes.

Did that change anything between you two? No.

You just wish he was honest in the beginning but you understood.

It was a lot to tell anyone who wasn’t part of that world.

Gojo barely left your side since his best friend Geto left him after killing the entire village and his parents. He wanted to kill non-sorcerers like you.

“But Toru, Suguru can just come any day now and kill everybody.”

You frowned as you stroked his white hair as his head was laying on your chest. He liked to hear your heartbeat and cuddle into you. He picked up his head with his beautiful blue eyes staring at you.

“You don’t think I can protect you, name?” He asked you. You shook your head sitting up making him sit up.

“I didn’t say that.”

“You might as well have.” He shook his head. You frowned.

“Satoru, it’s kind of scary to hear your friend wants to kill people like me, who aren’t sorcerers.”

“But he won’t!” He raised his voice making you lean back. Gojo grabbed both of your hands and stared into your own eyes.

“I promise to protect you with everything, name. I swear nobody, even Suguru, will never lay a finger let alone breathe the same air as you. I love you so much, name I can’t lose you too. I’ll never let you be in any kind of danger because of me.”

Your face was heating up while you stared at him eyes wide.

“Y-You love me, Satoru?”

Gojo blinked, realizing he confessed his feelings to you just now. He could feel his own cheeks heating up. He let out a chuckle and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I guess I got lost in the moment. Just trying to be heroic to my girlfriend.” He laughed nervously. You giggled and placed your hand on his warm dark pink cheek.

“I love you too.”

Gojo gives you his infamous grin before he kisses you passionately. That same night you and Gojo made love for the first time. It was the first time for you both. Gojo could feel himself becoming nervous for the first time in his life. You could tell he was but you reassured him you trusted him. You love him and he loves you. He made sure to be gentle with your body. He would look up at you with his white thick eyelashes fluttering with his blue hues darkening with lust. “Is this okay?” “I’m not hurting you am I?” “You’re doing so good...such a good girl.” “You look so pretty taking me whole like that.”

It took two days for Gojo to finally lose some stamina.

Satoru felt the weight being lifted off his shoulders when he told you the truth. But he still kept you separated from that life. The further you were from it, the easier it would be to protect you. You weren’t mad but some days it was overwhelming seeing him come home with bruises or blood on his clothes.

There were nights you would wait up for him and he wouldn’t come home till the early morning. You did feel helpless you couldn't do more for him but he reassured all he needed was you to be home waiting for him. But you stood by him for all these years. Especially when he brought in two children named Megumi and Tsumiki to live with you both.

After graduating university, you moved in with Satoru. He became a teacher at his old school and you became a teacher in grade school. You grew a bond with Megumi and Tsumiki. Both knew you weren’t a sorcerer but didn’t treat you any different. They both saw you as a mother figure and adored you.

After a long day at work you walked into the cafe where it all started.

Where you met your husband for the first time.

You could still hear his cheerful laugh and his gorgeous smile.

His eyes practically glowing whenever the sunlight would graze against them even with the shades on.

“Welcome! How can I help you?” The cashier asked with a smile. You smiled back already knowing what you wanted to order.

“Hi can I get a strawberry cake,” you started then paused a bit but the cashier was patient, “sorry I kind of got stuck for a second, haha.” you giggled. The cashier nodded and wrote it down on her pad. “Oh also can you write something on it. “It’s a ghoul?” The cashier looked up with a wider smile.

“Because it’s Halloween right?” She giggled. You smiled again.

“Yeah! ” You handed her your card. She gave the card back once she was finished ringing you up.

“I think it’s cute. You’re practically glowing.” She gushed, making you blush a light pink. You walked over to take a seat. You reached into your purse to take out the sonogram you had done earlier before going to work. You smiled warmly seeing your precious baby resting in your belly. You could see the circle they made with the computer with the “IT’S A GIRL”.

You knew your baby was a girl.

Your hand was placed over your slightly swollen belly. Your wedding ring glistening by the light. You checked your phone for the time then you started to look at all the photos you had of Gojo or the both of you. There were some photos of Megumi and Tsumiki. There was a video you took when you told Gojo the news you were pregnant. He nearly broke the ceiling. Literally. You let out a small giggle. You knew he was going to be over the moon finding out about your baby girl.

What you didn’t know was that

Satoru Gojo

The strongest sorcerer alive,

The honored one,

Gifted with the six eyes,

Was being sealed tonight.

[angelltheninth]

Blade's Edge

Pairing: Blade x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, teasing, enemies to enemies who flirt, kissing, grinding, aphrodisiacs, very suggestive, arrested!Blade

Word count: 0.6k

A/N: This was commissioned! Short and kind of sweet but also hella suggestive cause its Blade.

The sound of rustling handcuffs drew you to his cell. He sat in darkness, unbothered by you glaring at him. The only light was his eyes shining at you. "Captain. To what do I owe this immense pleasure?"

You narrowed your eyes at him, nodding at the other guards to leave. You knew he wouldn't tell you anything with them around, maybe even alone. Blade was a stubborn man and if he allowed himself to get captured by your squad then he must want something. Often something involving you.

Blade smirked at you as you stepped into his cell, as you approached him and tilted his chin with your fingers. "You look smug for someone in handcuffs." You kept your eyes on him, you knew he might try to get out but not before he got whatever it is he's after this time. His goals are all that mattered to him.

"Yes, well, it's not like I hate wearing him. I could go for better accommodations if I'm gonna give you some much needed information. I know you and yours have been running yourselves in circles lately. It was actually quite fun to see at first. Now it's just sad." He mocked you with that cocky smirk of his. With every word you got more and more angry. The worst thing was that Blade had a point.

"And what do you want in return? Surely you're not here out of the goodness of your heart."

"What heart?" Blade chuckled, his voice dripping with a tone that was both sadistic and seductive. Dangerous. "I could do it for... hm what's a good price. Perhaps a small kiss?"

Your hand twitched with the urge to slap him for even suggesting such a thing.

"You can pretend all you wish. I have seen how you look at me when we fight. You were probably looking for an excuse to put me in handcuffs. Have me tied up and at your mercy. From where I'm sitting you could fuck-" You grabbed a handful of his shockingly soft hair and kissed him. If one kiss would give you what you needed then it wasn't a big price to pay.

So why did you sit in his lap. Why did you open your mouth when he licked into it, why did... why did he taste so good. Your eyes widened when you recognized the sweet taste of an aphrodisiac. Fuck.

"Bastard. How are you not effected?" Your head was already getting dizzy, your hips moving in his lap, looking for friction and release.

"Call it natural immunity. I can't exactly have you follow me when I get out of here now can I? I'm only a messenger but that doesn't mean I won't have with you, Captain." Blade pushed upwards, your moans muffled by his lips, his taste and scent making you push forward, to pull at his uniform. You didn't realize he was shifting with his hands you only registered the hard feeling of the chair against your back and his hips pushing your legs apart, "If anyone were to see this what would they think? Their Captain spreading her legs for me? And I haven't even taken your clothes off yet."

At this rate he wouldn't have to take your clothes off.

Blade mumbled something in your ear. Perhaps the information he promised? Or did he call you names? Maybe something about Kafka? You didn't know. Your name was swimming in a sea of pleasure, your legs locking tight around him before relaxing.

"Thank you very much for your time Captain. I look forward to our next meeting." His lips ghosted against yours one last time before your vision turned black, the last thing you saw being his back, and the next thing being the worried and confused faces of your team.

"That motherfucker." You could practically hear him laughing in your ear. Shit. You were still sensitive if even that managed to make you clench your legs.

[sant-riley]

[Ghost, Soap and Price when you ask them "would you get my name tattooed on you?"] headcanons

A/N: This is for fun, no one requested it but I love tattoos and I got some soooooo here we go!

A/N 2: this was started back in December lmfao whoops, anyways this is just some random thoughts .

Ghost:

Ghost is gonna either A) look at you like you're stupid as fuck or B) call you stupid as fuck for even asking if you two are not close.

However, you are close so he humors you, despite not saying a for sure yes or no.

"And why would I do that?"

"Because you love me~"

"You think I love you?" Dude is making heart eyes at you as y'all speak, he's full of shit.

You pester him and poke at his chest, telling him you want your name here or there and he just rolls his eyes when he lays on his back.

He makes grunts and snarky remarks like he'd cut the skin off and belly laughs when you pout and can't help but flick your forehead and say it wouldn't happen.

A liar, he's gonna get a tattoo to symbolize you, just not your name. In y'alls line of work it's too dangerous, he's a known soldier and he has a target on his back. Whatever hyperfixation you have, whatever special interest, is something he'd get inked on him, probably on the inside of his arm to keep it hidden.

He runs his fingers across it before and after a mission, even if you're there with him. It's a habit that he'll probably never break. (I'm imagining him with Optimus tattoo for me I'm crying)

Soap:

He's been waiting. He is absolutely saying yes. He's been thinking about it for awhile and has been designing in his little journal what fonts he would get.

You cannot tell me that this man wouldn't get his loved ones name on him bc he absolutely WOULD.

He doesn't care if it's bad luck to get your partners name on you, as far as he's concerned he's yours for as long as you'll have him and you both work together, been through hell together. He's sure of it if you are okay with it.

He's the guy to get your name over his heart 😭 probably also with some flowers/symbols that represent you around it as well.

He presents it to you all giddy and laughs loud when you throw your arms around his neck hugging him.

"You like it? Now you're stuck with me 'orever~" while he gives you kisses all over your face.

Soap proudly flaunts when he's shirtless, his dog tags and your name on his chest make him so egotistical (it's warranted he's so fucking hot)

Would be very happy if you were to get his name but would never pressure you, however if you were, he'd need to design it for you <3

Price:

Price is on the fence, he's not a tattoo man and never has been. But he loves you, more than he's ever loved anyone so it's a firm maybe.

It'll have to be a couple of years before he genuinely will sit down and consider it.

Wouldn't get your name but instead your initial, probably on the inside of his finger or on some easily hidden slice of skin.

You don't even fucking see it until months pass and he's changing.

"Oh that? Got it back on downtime between missions." Motherfucker.

He grumbles as you steal whatever limb it's on but he's happy you're so so ecstatic and he thinks the glowing smile you send him makes it worth it.

@devilsfoodcake22 @simon-rileys-princess @stupid-ninja @milkmily @lune-la-chanson @tamayakii @teacupcollector @perilous-pasta @ihatethisappsomuchitpains @marsbar127xx @baddump @xncasi @king-cookiex @palomaxaxaxa @amatchasky   @wolfyland07 @diejager @hailstrum18 @pretty-little-bunny382728 @mzfandom @solarslushee @areislol @cluelessyasmin @sesshomaruwaifu @chaos-unchecked @kalamataolivesssss @arunasmisfortune @tbrfics @117s-girl @1234ilikecowsthanyoumore @sparrowwithaquill @justtiredandvibing

[rowretro]

If your requests are open, can I get hard yandere Jake or Ni-Ki where they punish reader for escaping and staying with one of their friends?

𝕺𝖍 𝖒𝖞 𝕯𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌…

✧warnings: Yandere themes, toxic themes, mentions of blood, manipulation(?), shirtless-ish riki, somewhat gore, mentions of sex

✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧

"Oh my sweet little y/n... I knew you were stupid but for you to be this stupid?!..." Riki tutted, a mocking pout on his lips, his shirt drenched with the blood of someone you called a friend. He barely knew you, yet he befriended you just because he knew you were in the danger of Riki. Your stupid self just had to believe Riki wouldn't know that the motherfucker would be keeping you in his house.

He was pissed. No he was beyond pissed, words can not explain how bad of a decision she made. Riki wasn't too into murdering people or ripping them apart, but for her? god a little blood on his hands was nothing let alone stabbing a dagger with her name encrypted into this so called friend of hers? heck he could even leave the body out because not even a family member was there to want him.

"Oh well... he lived a miserable life anyway.... this was your fault y/n. You know better than to trust a strangers word over mine. Fuck the fact you trusted another man. went into his house. wore his shirt. AND FUCKING LEFT ME?!" He finally yelled causing her to flinch, he stabbed him crazily as you screamed for him to stop, tears streaming down her cheeks. "STOP CRYING FOR HIM!" he screamed, slapping her painfully on her cheek.

he knelt down before her dark eyes, peircing into her as he groaned, he threw off his shirt "Mother fucker got his filthy blood all over my comfortable t-shirt. The one you should be wearing right now." he sharply said. The man was pissed. He slapped her yet again, ripping off the T-shirt she wore as she carried her and dropped her in the bathtub.

He didn't care that it was hurting her, he turned the tap on as he applied soap to the sponge and aggressively rubbed on her skin. "I know you wouldn't sleep with him. But you still hugged him. You still went in his house and sat on his rubbish sofa. Fuck imagine all the germs in that shithole you went to." He spat as he chucked the sponge at her and yanked her hair. "Clean yourself up and go to bed." He simply said before leaving the restroom.

"Oh no... I hurt my poor y/n oh sweetie... You need to know what you did is awful... you need to feel the pain I did... but I won't make it hurt as much as you hurt me because I love you... you can tell me anything.... did you have sex with this fucker?! is that why you're wearing his ugly shirt?!!!" Riki asked, as She stared in horror, and disgust. Riki chuckled

That very night, was the first time Riki hurt her, though it hurt him more to hurt her. He stepped out of the shower, smiling as he saw Y/n sitting on his bed, wearing his sweater, how it fell just off of her shoulder, her tears gone as she reached out to hug him, she just needed comfort... and she accepted her fate.

"So cute, I know you won't do something like that with some low life... awww my sweet innocent y/nie, so vulnerable and gullible, sweetheart, he's a pervert, he lied to you, he did this so he can use your precious body. You know I've never done and never will do that you know why? because I love you..." Riki explained as he cradled her in his arms.

He palnted soft kisses on her face "Oh my poor darling y/n... don't ever leave me... I can't live without you!" He said as Y/n placed a soft kiss on his plump lips, giving into his toxic love. She can't help it though... isn't it a good thing that he'd even kill for her?.... so many men have only hurt her, humiliated her or wanted to hook up with her but Riki... Riki loves her...

✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧

[mistydeyes]

a collection of random late night thoughts from a high reader

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

summary: After another successful mission in Amsterdam, you enjoy the trip a little too much and won’t stop texting your team.

pairing: 141, laswell, konig x platonic!reader

warnings: swearing, implied drug use

a/n: haha enjoy this light hearted shit post

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

As you said goodnight to Price and Gaz following a beautifully executed mission in Amsterdam, you pulled out a small baggie of goodies you had gotten that day. You perched the window open and lit your joint as you admired the quiet ambiance of the safe house. Amsterdam sure has the good shit as you finished and grabbed your phone, ready to spew all of your high thoughts.

r/n: Lt. why did you think it was a good idea to get an angsty teen's drawing on your arm?

ghost: captain, i thought you said you didn't let them get anything while in amsterdam

r/n: shhh don't tell dad i bought drugs

price: just let them live, Lieutenant, at least you're not in the same house as them

r/n: who do you think would be taller? gaz on ghost‘s or soap on konig’s shoulders?

ghost: no one respond, don’t patronize them

konig: logistically, it’s me and soap (*disliked by ghost and gaz*)

r/n: ever since i joined, SAS stands for Sexy Ass Soldiers

price: keep this up and i’ll have you transferred

r/n: only if you want it to go back to Special Air Service

r/n: i assigned you all spirit animals: ghost - black cat, soap - one of those mice they give meth too to see what happens, price - cougar

gaz: what about me?

r/n: a gazelle, idiot, it’s in your name

price: this is how you spend your time in amsterdam?

r/n: when graves betrayed you, you should’ve said “we’re in grave danger”

soap: we should’ve left you in las almas (*emphasized by ghost*)

r/n: okay new field strategy! what if we all put lube on ourselves, then we could never be captured because we would just ~slip away~

ghost: what the actual fuck

r/n: soap just looks like he would comically snore like in cartoons

r/n: this motherfucker lets out a snore followed by mimimimi💤😴

soap: why would you hurt me like that

r/n:

r/n: shepherd is the bootleg version of mr. clean

gaz:…you’re not wrong

r/n: and graves was the walmart version of glen powell

ghost: okay you have a point

r/n: captain what was it like when you got your first tv in color?

price: how old do you think i am?

r/n: i post myself up for adoption, laswell plz adopt me

laswell: please go to sleep, sergent

r/n: only if you and your wife tuck me in <3

r/n: okay poll time! who do you think could kill someone with their thighs?

price, gaz, konig, laswell, and ghost have left the chat

soap: personally, i think it's Lt.

r/n: nah my money is on laswell

[gallusrostromegalus]

So, I am begging you here, pls tell me that Ikkaku and Yumichika are still bffs on this AU. I need the violent miss- and yet perfectly matched bastards to still be forever ride-and-die with each other.

Also, all the dropped tidbits relating to Yumichika are gold and I am hoarding them like a squirrel hoards his nuts for winter.

They are actually, for real, legally married.

Ikkaku was 500% ready to fight the entire Gotei-13 when he took the 628-year old marriage certificate he and Yumichika had gotten in 72 North to the Seireitei Records Office to be honored.

Instead, the sole hiccup in the process was the young lady behind the counter asking him to spell Yumichika's surname for her as this document seems to have been... stained, at some point.

"-That's not... Blood, is it?" She asks, concerned.

"Uh. It's actually. Um. Soy Sauce." Ikkaku mumbles.

It would have been less embarrassing if it had been blood.

Turns out, Gay marriage- and indeed, divorce, or changing your name, or gender, or becoming the third, fourth or seventeenth parent/legal guardian to a kid is a nonissue in soul society, because someone complained *once* and Yamamoto declared that, one, he didn't care, and two, the rest of the military commanders were hired off death row, and *this* is what you're complaining about? Fuck off.

But here are some Yumichika Fun Facts:

Everyone in the 11th division has really, really good personal hygiene and well-cared for hands, feet and nails because Yumichika's mother was a doctor at a rural hospital and put the fear of dysentery, cholera, pneumonia, tetanus, sepsis, trench rot and necrosis into him even more than fear of the gods, and he very much continued this sanitary evangelism.

Yumichika's other mother was a drag queen at the brothel that adjoined the hospital and taught him all about hair, makeup, poisons, manners, alley fights, how to play the shamisen, how to make a knife out of anything, flower arrangement and how to curse the hell out of a motherfucker of it comes to that.

Kubo was wrong Yumichika looks out for all his sisters not just his cis-ters.

Kenpachi was friends with Yumichika before either of the ever knew Ikkaku. He met Yumichika shortly after adopting Yachiru when Yumichika saved him from drowning in the river that ran through his home village.

Kenpachi asked Yumichika what he could do in gratitude for saving his life, and Yumichika, seeing his sword, asked if Kenpachi could "give him a real fight, for once"

They had a jolly little scrap that left Yumichika in the hospital for three months, an almost insatiable lust for battle, and a permanent bald scar on the edge of his eyebrow, which is where he glues the decorative feathers he wears.

It also got him (lovingly) told to move out and make his way in the world.

Yumichika met Ikkaku some years after that, when the theater/brothel he was working at hired Ikkaku on as an Emcee and a comedy act in his own right.

Ikkaku loves making people laugh and is damn good at it.

Yumichika was already considering making a move on him when a heckler pulled a sword on Yumichika during his act and Ikkaku beat the shit out of him with a chair without a second thought, and Yumichika decided he was going to seduce and marry this bald little maniac then and there.

It still took the better part of six months, because Ikkaku was convinced that Yumichika was "Way out of his league" and "He's just being friendly to a coworker!".

Things finally became clear when, having reached a boiling point of sexual frustration, Yumichika challenged Ikkaku to a duel, beat the hell out of Ikkaku with Kujaku, and screamed his feelings directly into Ikkaku's face.

"Oh." Said Ikkaku. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I'VE BEEN SAYING THINGS AND SHOWING YOU THINGS AND SITTING IN YOUR LAP AND KISSING YOU FOR SIX MONTHS YOU FUCKING MORON."

"...I may be stupid."

"At least you're also cute. C'mere you sexy cueball."

-and they have been blissfully if dramatically wedded since.

It was many years after that that they had moved on to a different brothel as a duo floor show act, when they got to talking to some of the other working girls about their travels and Yumichika tells the story of how he got his eyebrow scar saving a real freak of a guy from drowning after he got stabbed by a river stingray, but then he challenged him to a fight because- well, he was young and cocky and a small fish, but in a tiny pond- and promptly got his ass beat.

"That's wild!" Says Ikkaku. "I also challenged a random freak with a stingray scar on his leg to a fight because I was bored and- all due respect to you and Kujaku, my beloved - but he gave me a thrashing the likes of which I'd never had before or since. He had his daughter with him was the weird part- he was a real big bastard, face like a cliff, but his girl was this adorable little pink thing."

Yumichika sits up, frowning. "-seven feet tall in socks, big vertical scar on the right side of his face?" He asked, gesturing to his own.

Ikkaku put his drink down and pointed at Yumichika "-and bells in his hair! You fought Zaraki Kenpachi too??"

"Yes! What the hell?" Yumichika laughed. "I wonder where he is now..."

"Oh Gods, he had the WORST sense of direction! He's probably managed to walk in and back out of the Soul King's palace on accident!" Ikkaku giggled

"Well, if he's the same seven foot tall sword bastard with the scarred face and pink little girl on his shoulder as the seven foot tall sword bastard with the scarred face and the pink little girl on his shoulder standing out in the street looking lost as hell, you can go ask him." Said their coworker Sachiko, pointing to the giant standing not a dozen feet away.

"Look Ken-chan! It's YuYu and Baldy!" Yachiru giggled.

"Yachiru!" Yumichika gasped, delighted.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!" bellowed Ikkaku.

"YOU AGAIN!" Zaraki bellowed, ecstatic. " BEEN A FEW YEARS, LET'S SEE HOW MUCH YOU LEARNED!!"

Ten minutes of incredible violence, twelve minutes of evading the police and twenty-one minutes of getting lost on the way back to the brothel, a bloodied but still standing Yumichika was explaining to the Madame that the giant bastard carrying the unconscious half of her prized floor show duo behind him was, in fact, an old friend of theirs whom she should absolutely hire as a bouncer, you can see how effective he is!

Madame Tsubaki, who recognizes incredible spiritual power and fighting potential when she sees it, and who is still very petty about the divorce from her husband the Shinigami Captain-General, allows herself to be persuaded.

[sibsteria]

hello, can you do headcanons of klaus mikaelson being a simp for you? 💘

yes of course, lovely!

Warnings: large fluff, a bit smutty, soft!klaus, protective!Mikaelsons

Summary: Klaus Mikaelson is the malewife simp of the century(ies)

not proofread, don’t kill me 😭🫶

the first time he met you, he studied you, up and down, I feel as if it would be at a Mikaelson ball, or maybe the Mystic Grill

I mean, eyes roaming

so our man just felt he had to introduce himself

he presents his hand out for you to shake

“I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before, I know I would have remember a face like yours.”

“Oh, wow, you’re charming.”

He gives an amused smile, a soft chuckle

“I prefer the name Klaus Mikaelson, please tell me what name could possibly match such a person of beauty?”

I feel as if he wouldn’t assert his name as Niklaus right off the bat ygm besties

he is leaving you blushing though

you’re probably a vamp so congrats, he’s got eternal dibs!

definitely lays a gentle kiss to your hand when you tell him your name

“I suppose I’ll be seeing you.” he lingers in your presence before slowly walking away

you’re just- astounded, who gave him the right to be so alluring?

I ain’t gonna lie to you, he went home that night and stalked for your information

he knows where you live, your next of kin, the bar you frequent

so an accidental bumpings into are already in his workings

“Ah, hello love, what a surprise!”

he’d buy you all your drinks, making sure to keep any eye on them if you left the bar for a moment if you’re human (you probs aren’t)

you would spend the whole night together

just chatting and swapping anecdotes

flirting

he charms you with poems, jewellery and just spending time getting to know you as if he didn’t know everything already

he will flaunt his money around

“I should take you to dinner, tell me love, do you enjoy pasta?”

if your answer is yes then well than enjoy your authentic italian dish! the flight wasn’t even too long

you had both fallen off the cliff, smitten for one another

when you’re dating he absolutely follows wherever you go

accidentally

but you know better

and you don’t mind, he’s always looking out for you

long parting kisses

I’m talking tongue, with his hand tangled in your hair

ass slaps as you walk away, making you present a shy smile

when your more comfortable around each other, you don’t hesitate to do it back

a faux shock face from the hybrid

“well, love, I never listed you as the kinky type. I do say, I’m quite impressed.”

get ready for marks

he litters you in hickeys, even if they might fade by the end of the day

he’s going to try

if you’re human he’ll have you wear a vial of his blood around your neck

for emergencies

and a fun conversation for anyone who comes on to you

if he’s in a heated argument discussion with someone, his face will immediately soften when you walk through the door

“hello, love.” a passion induced coma hoods his eyes

will try to protect you from violence and danger but he does know you can handle yourself

“Klaus, I can snap a neck like a motherfucker-”

“I know, darling, but why do that when I can do it for you?”

hours of cuddles

hours

just you in his arms, with his nose nuzzled into you

he’s a softy, really

you get along with his family, it’s a given

Rebekah is literally you’re sister from another mister

shopping sprees with her unlimited credit card

knowing each other’s styles

“How did you know?” She pouts as you hand her a pair of heels that she had been eying up

she’s just overjoyed she actually had a true friend that she can trust

someone she can rely on

you are inseparable

and Klaus is absolutely jealous

“may I please have my girlfriend back, dear sister?” an edge to his tone

“if you must, you annoying rat bastard.”

but you love them

Elijah is eternally grateful for your calmness

and your ability to tame the beast

“I must say, you impress me, Miss L/n.”

you’re utterly baffled

Elijah is not an easy man to impress

but your besties anyway, now 🙄🤚

you often pick up ties that you think would suit him

he smiles and shakes his head

“I do hope you insist on keeping her around, Niklaus.” he uses a low whisper to his brother.

“I don’t assume I’m ever letting her go.”

whilst you have managed to wrap him around your little finger

he won’t hesitate to rip someone’s throat out for touching you

say you’re at a bar

he left for a moment to answer a call, his mistake

he comes back, you’re face filled with discomfort and annoyance as this poor man would not stop verbally harassing you

but that was not enough of an action for you to snap his neck yourself

but as he’s walking towards the bar, he watches as the stranger lets his hand trail down your back until he reaches your-

Klaus has already sped towards him

grabbing his hair and tearing out his throat

his chin, neck and chest are dripping with blood

your surprised at the lack of screams around you, coming to the conclusion that he must have compelled the drinkers to not bat an eye at supernatural goings-on

“are you kidding-”

“sweetheart, don’t get angry-”

“I just got blood stains from last week out of that shirt!”

he pauses his spiel, a blushing smile across his face

you weren’t repulsed by the violent display he’d put on

“have I ever told you how much I love you?”

“on occasion.” you roll your eyes, pulling him in for kiss

the blood coats around your lips but you don’t mind

“I love you too, Nik.”

that was the first time you used such an intimate nickname

and he loved it

hearing such words fall from your mouth

you both get blood drunk nightly

but refusing to feed on kids, because you have some morals

and you push Klaus to erase after eating because why draw attention to himself, he already has a healthy crowd of enemies

and that is where Elijah expresses gratitude

if you ever get kidnapped on that one occasion you were caught off guard

be ready, the cavalry are coming

a crowd of angry originals, breaking down walls and tearing out hearts

“shit! I didn’t know she had all of ‘em at her beck and call-” one of your kidnappers scream, as he watches his cronies drop to the floor

“mate, I advice you shut your mouth, in fact- I’ll do it for you-” queue Kol punching his head from his shoulders, it rolls nicely onto the floor in a pool of blood

they had you on a vervain drip

“oh, love, I’m so sorry.” Klaus is by your side, ripping out the tubes, hugging you close

Kol is your annoying little brother, but mostly a sweetheart to you

you two tend to sneak out together, infiltrating house parties

“if Nik finds us, he’ll kill you!” you scream over the music

“he can try, darling!” he howls with laughter, a bottle of his chosen alcohol spilling down his throat

he does find you

“why in the world, did you think I wouldn’t notice you leaving my side?” he caresses your cheek

“don’t torture him, we just wanted a bit of fun.” you whisper, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth

“I suppose you’re right, I have faith in his protection, he loves you like family.” begrudgingly letting Kol off the hook

he has fucked you on every surface in his home

“not on the dinner table, Nik-” Beks

“I eat off that counter, pests.” Kol

“Is it a rule that you have to infect every piece of furniture in our home?” Elijah

*noises of disgust* Finn

*eye roll* Freya

still counting how many public displays he can get away with

he has tied your ex to a chair and made him watch as he gave you orgasm after orgasm

I mean, he murdered him afterwards, so-

“was there any need?”

“yes.”

in his mind, you’re already together forever

he lets you be in possession of one of his daggers, just in case his family give you any problems

“you know I won’t need to use it-”

“just humour me, keep it safe.”

it’s never boring

y’all he’s in love 😻