#like oh you’ve enjoyed cheese for fifteen years

[minyicho]

I can’t believe that I have to buy lactase for 31 dollars at the chemist just because my body randomly decided to stop producing it when I was fifteen

[gumnut-logic]

Five times alan discovered a secret and one time he kept one (Part Four)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

This one fought me like crazy. gordon is a slippery fish and doesn't like telling.

Many thanks to @onereyofstarlight for the read through and support. You are amazing as always ::lots of hugs::.

And thank you to thunderfam who continue to feed my pen with all your wonderful support ::hugs the lot of you::

Lots of terrible two in this one. I hope you enjoy it :D

-o-o-o-

4.

“Can you turn it off?!”

Alan glared at his brother. The fish was sitting where he had parked himself for the entire trip - his lumpy feet up on the dash, guzzling his disgusting cheese and watching that stupid Buddie and Ellie show.

Gordon didn’t even bother to turn around. “Why?”

“You’ve been watching it since we left Earth and I’m sick of it! And your cheese is getting into everything! Brains will kill you when we get back and I’ll help him!”

His fish brother finally responded this time, the holoprojector flickering off. He shrugged. “Okay.”

“And clean up your mess.”

“Sure.” Gordon flicked him a WASP salute and began picking cheese out of the air.

Alan grunted and went back to his checklist. He was in command of this mission. He had the right to ask his brother to behave.

Scott was counting on him.

Okay, so he was a little nervous. This rescue was one for the record books, after all. Not many people managed to make it to Europa. You needed special permission to land there as it was restricted for scientific exploration only with no commercial leases available - unlike Jupiter’s other moons.

Europa could have life on it - or in it - depending on your perspective and to get the chance to visit it?

This left Halley’s Comet in the dust.

How Buddie and Ellie had managed to get permission was beyond Alan’s comprehension.

Or maybe he was just resenting them due to having to listen to their voices for so long.

So, so long.

“What would you like me to do next, Commander.”

Alan blinked and looked back at his brother. There was no smart-ass expression on his face, just a genuine interest directed towards the back of the cockpit where Alan floated.

“Something productive maybe?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Think of something.”

“Okay.” Gordon turned back to the controls and sat staring out at the blackness of space.

Alan glared at his brother, unsure of how to respond. Gordon could be…well, Gordon…and so frustrating.

Alan swore under his breath. Gotta love him. Can’t kill him.

He worked quietly for a while, relieved and finally relaxing just a little in the silence with a calming sense of work well done.

Oh great, now he was beginning to sound like Virgil.

And yes, he knew that wasn’t a bad thing. Thank you, biggest brother for chiming in with your two cents, too.

Space bonkers, here I come.

“Allie, do you need a hand?”

Alan startled and turned to find Gordon floating just behind him.

“Couldn’t find anything to do?”

“Well, you’re the astronaut, you tell me. I’m just a lowly aquanaut on the voyage to an extraterrestrial ocean.” His brother grinned.

Alan thwacked him with his clipboard.

“Hey, that’s violence in the ranks.”

“You deserved it.”

“Hmph. Well, if you don’t want me to watch Buddy and Ellie, what do you want me to do?”

“Be quiet.”

That earned him an arched eyebrow. “Okay.” Gordon shrugged and turned towards the hatch that led to the cargo bay. “If you need me, I’ll be in Thunderbird Four.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.” Gordon shut the hatch behind him, leaving the cockpit to Alan and his checklist.

-o-o-o-

Alan ran out of checklist eventually. He sat back in his pilot’s seat and relaxed, enjoying the quiet solitude.

It was him, his rocket and all the great unknown emptiness beyond. This was the life he wanted, the life he had been aiming for the entirety of his fifteen years of existence.

This was it. The dream…

And…

…damn, it was lonely without his brother’s company.

And so quiet. So, so quiet.

How the hell could he be missing Buddy and Ellie? It was noise. Silly, ridiculous, over-hyped noise.

But it was also Gordon.

Who had done exactly as Alan had told him.

Damnit.

He lasted another whole half an hour before throwing himself out of his seat in frustration. He pushed himself out of the chair and nearly whacked himself on the bulkhead.

See? Gordon made him do stupid things.

He launched from the pilot’s seat to the back door of the cockpit, throwing it open with no consideration for the lack of gravity.

It banged and bounced back at him, catching him on his funny bone.

Grandma wasn’t here to veto his cursing.

He fumbled his way through the hatch, floating down to the cargo bay.

It was quite a sight to see Thunderbird Four where the pods usually sat. She wasn’t small and her presence loomed, both secure yet out of place.

She had been loaded with her nose pointing up towards Three’s cockpit and her undersides facing Three’s cargo doors, ready to be deployed.

Consequently, entering the bay, Alan had no trouble spotting his brother asleep in Four’s cockpit.

He sighed. Typical.

But Alan’s shoulders sagged. Now who wasn’t being fair?

He floated himself down to Four’s hatchway and wriggled himself in. It took a bit to slide into his brother’s cockpit. Despite her size being much bigger than the average pod, Four was the smallest Thunderbird and there was a vast difference between her and Three.

In any case, he managed to slip in beside his sleeping brother and surprisingly didn’t wake him up. Lack of gravity did have some uses, apparently.

He stared at Gordon. Four’s interior lighting was off and only Three’s cargo bay lamps were providing any illumination. This left his brother’s face cast in reds and greys, slack in sleep.

Three was travelling at high speed and her autopilot was very capable of taking them all the way to Europa without any attention on Alan’s part, but he preferred at least one pilot to be in her cockpit at all times, usually himself. So there was no way he felt comfortable sitting down here for any long period of time.

“Enjoying the scenery?”

Alan startled. Gordon was smirking at him, obviously not asleep.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I was having a lovely snooze before you banged your way in here.”

Alan glared at him. “I was just checking on you.”

“Sure you were.”

“Why do you have to be such an ass?”

Gordon stretched, interlocking his fingers behind his head. “It’s the reputation, gotta keep it maintained.”

“Gordon…”

His brother reached over and soft punched Alan in the arm. “No worries, bro. I’ve got your back.”

Maybe he was just making things hard to give Alan command experience. He stared at his brother. “Why are you down here?”

Gordon rolled his eyes. “So I’m not bugging you with Buddy and Ellie, derr.”

“You were sleeping.”

“So?” Brown eyes cast red by the lighting were peering at him. “Not much else to do, is there?”

“So this is what you do at the bottom of the ocean?”

“No. There is always something to do down there.”

“Like what?”

His brother sat up in his seat. “Life for one thing. Can’t say you’ll find a squid or deep sea fish out the window right now.”

“Hey! We’re at the cutting edge of science here. I’m streaming data back to Five that at least three different universities asked for. Do you know how many people would love this opportunity?”

Gordon shrugged. “Same for my girl.” He patted his seat eyeing the inside of his cockpit. “I have friends who would kill to play with her.” He turned back to Alan. “Space is your thing, Al. And Johnny’s. I’m just a fish out of water up here.”

“You don’t like space?” Alan stared at his brother. “But it’s so cool!”

Another shrug. “Whatever floats your boat, baby bro.”

“But you’re a qualified astronaut.”

“Of course I am. We all are. Dad made sure of it.”

And in Alan’s case, Scott and John. “You didn’t want to be?”

Eyes, almost a deep red, looked up at him. “I wanted to join International Rescue, it is part of the deal. Same for you. Can you say you enjoy the ocean?”

“It’s okay.” He had to say it, for exactly the same reason. Alan was not a fish of any kind. He could do what was necessary, but water was definitely not his favourite medium.

The soft smile on Gordon’s face was understanding itself.

Hmph.

“So what don’t you like about space?”

Another full body stretch and Gordon looked away. “The nothing. There is so much nothing with no life.”

“Yet. Who knows what we will discover. You do realise that we are going to be one of very few people who have landed on Europa? Do you realise that almost all of it is unexplored? Almost everything we will be seeing hasn’t been seen close up by a single human being!” It was so incredible, Alan found it hard to believe that Gordon and he were flying out there to do so many firsts. They would end up in the record books. In history itself!

“Except for Buddy and Ellie.”

Alan rolled his eyes. He was so sick of hearing about Buddy and Ellie.

But then if they hadn’t had their accident then Three wouldn’t be needed and Alan wouldn’t have this chance.

Gordon poked him with a finger. “If we find life, it will be in that ocean under all that ice. Not in space.”

“But you need to space to get there.”

“That’s the boring bit.”

“Aargh, you are so annoying.”

“Just polishing the reputation.” His brother grinned.

“How will that reputation stand up if I just happen to mention to Scotty that you squawked when I engaged the ion engines?”

Those deep red eyes widened. “You wouldn’t dare!”

“Oh, really?” Ahhh, blackmail material bullseye.

“Alan…” Gordon was frowning at him. “Don’t.”

Alan grinned. “Oh, I think it is a juicy bit of information that Scotty will definitely enjoy.” He pushed off the bulkhead and slid back out of the cockpit, aiming for the exit.

“Alan! Don’t you dare!”

And the chase was on. Alan was definitely the more experienced in space as he bounced himself expertly out of the cargo bay, leaving his brother tumbling behind him.

Gordon called his name several times, but Alan made it back to his cockpit way ahead of him. He was poking at the transmitter controls as Gordon finally caught up, pinwheeling through the hatch.

“Thunderbird Three to Tracy Island.”

“Alan, no, please don’t.” A hand landed on Alan’s shoulder.

Alan frowned up at his fish brother.

“Tracy Island to Thunderbird Three, how are the two of you doing?” Scott’s hologram hovered above the dash and a wave of reassurance washed over Alan.

Scott was safety. Even several million kilometres away.

The hand on Alan’s shoulder gripped tighter.

“Just checking in. Three is cruising. Ion engines working like a dream.” He looked up at Gordon and frowned. There was so much pleading in his brother’s eyes, Alan’s throat knotted up for a moment. What the hell? “Uh, is Virg back from Venezuela yet?”

“No.” Scott’s posture shifted. “He’s had to take the long way round. There are now three cyclones across the Pacific.”

“Three? Is he okay?”

“He’s fine. A little grumpy perhaps. Tell Gordon he forgot to restock Two’s coffee supplies.”

“Oh, crap.”

“I heard that, Fish. You’re lucky you’re on the other side of the solar system.”

“Tell him I’ll buy him extra when I get back.”

“You can buy me some of that apple pie from Darcy’s. I’m the one who has to face him.”

“Ugh, sorry.”

“Apple pie, Fish. Lots of it. With fresh cream.”

Alan was grinning.

“Fine. FAB. Can do. Thunderbird Three out.” He reached over and killed the connection.

“You’re toast, Fishboy.”

“Shut up.” He pushed off, heading towards his co-pilot chair.

“So what’s with the big secret?”

Gordon didn’t look at him. “What secret?”

“You were terrified I was going to tell on you.”

His brother didn’t answer as he slid into his seat.

“Gordon, what’s wrong.”

He sighed and looked away a moment. “You can’t tell Scott. You can’t tell anyone.”

“Tell them what? That you squawked?”

“I’m serious, Alan.” His brother turned to face him, eyes earnest and determined.

What the hell?

“Okay.” A blink. “Why not?”

“You promise?”

Alan stared at Gordon…and held up a hand. “I promise. Tracy’s honour.” He frowned. “Now tell me what’s wrong?”

Gordon sagged in his seat…or as much as he could in zero gravity...and stared at the dash. “I told Scott I could handle it and I can. It’s just…took me by surprise, okay?”

“What?”

Gordon sighed. “I have a thing.”

“I repeat, what?”

“I’m fine. I can fly, I can sail, I can drive, it’s not a problem really.”

“Gordon, you’re not making sense.”

“It’s stupid.”

“It doesn’t sound it. I haven’t seen you babble like this since Miss Kent thanked you for saving her life.”

“Huh? Oh.” He waved a hand as if to dismiss the blushing and stammering because their school teacher kissed him on the cheek. “Nothing to do with that.”

“Gordon…”

His brother held up both his hands. “It’s speed, okay? I’m a bit funky with acceleration.”

“Funky.”

“Funky. I told Scott I was over it.”

“Over it.”

“What? You turning into a parrot? I have a thing with speed. I was going kinda fast when the hydrofoil…you know. That.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh. Took me a bit to get my legs back under me.”

Apparently in more ways than one.

“So you don’t like going fast?”

“Sometimes.”

“But you’re okay?” That dread at the bottom of his stomach that had blossomed into life that horrible day just over two years ago when Gordon nearly died in the hydrofoil crash. It had swelled and retreated so many times as his brother slowly recovered. He hadn’t felt it flutter in a while.

It was not a welcome return.

“I’m okay, Allie. I just don’t want to worry Scott. Or Virgil. Or Grandma. Or John. Or anyone really. So don’t tell anybody.” He looked down at his hands. “They’ve worried enough.”

“But-“

“I’m okay, Allie, I promise.” His brother’s eyes bored a hole into Alan’s forehead. “It’s under control.”

“Is that why you don’t fly very often?”

Gordon rolled his eyes. “God, no, the Tank is just a control freak.”

Alan looked down at his controls. They were travelling ever so fast. “That’s why you don’t like space.”

A shrug. “Maybe. Mostly because it’s boring and there’s no fish.”

Alan narrowed his eyes. “So you’d be happy if we discovered a space whale?”

“Sounds good to me.” Gordon nodded with a satisfied smile. “And a nice little astro-octopus for extra entertainment. We could call him ‘Bob’.”

Alan stared at his brother. “I won’t tell anyone, Gordy. I promise.”

“Thanks.”

There was silence after that.

At least a good five minutes before Gordon flicked up the next episode of Buddy and Ellie.

A sigh and Alan settled back into his seat. It was going to be a long trip.

But at least Gordon had a distraction.

-o-o-o-

Part 5

[sunmoonandeddie]

and he kissed me right here

pairing: modern!bucky barnes x reader

word count: 6,100

summary: I've always been sure that all I ever wanted was a glamorous life.

warnings: Cuss words, mentions of the Afghanistan war (Bucky is a veteran), angst, happy ending, cheesy romantic confessions, age gap

a/n:  This is based on the song 'Stars and the Moon' from Songs for a New World! It's the first one shot in my musical series! This is written in first perspective, but there is no physical description or use of a name in this!

Twenty-Two

I sighed as I tossed a few more dirty plates into the dish window, wiping my brow. After a shitty dinner rush and an even shittier rush around two in the morning consisting only of drunk ass college kids looking for some sort of carb to suck up all the alcohol in their systems, I was ready to go the fuck home.

“Sweetheart, you head on home now,” the head chef insisted as he watched my head nod slightly as I tried my best to fight off sleep. “Ain’t nobody comin’ in before Melissa gets here. No point in you staying on your feet any longer.”

Louis was a godsend. At sixty-seven years old, you’d think he would rather be anywhere but a diner at almost four in the morning.

“Nah,” he had said when I’d asked him a few months after I’d first started. “My Ginny died a few years back, and since she’s been gone, I don’t really have the stomach to sit around that house all alone.” He had laughed, but there’d been a deep sorrow that had come over his deep brown eyes. “Kids are worried, but… Sleeping the day away is better than laying up at night staring at her side of the bed…”

“You sure, Lou?” I asked even as I headed for the back room where all the employees clocked in and kept their possessions in their own little cubbies. I did my checkout in view of the security camera, just like always. I didn’t want anyone to be able to say I stole anything.

Everyone who knew me knew that I wouldn’t, but I’d worked at two many places where the girls tried backstabbing each other and sabotaging everyone else to get them fired.

Though people were a lot nicer in Louisiana than any of the other places I’d lived.

Louis chuckled as he set a to-go box in the window, nodding towards it. “Mmhm. Long as Buck is getting you home safe.”

I gave him a joking eye roll as I took the to-go box gratefully, grinning at my name written in all caps with green Sharpie on top. “You know you don’t have to make me dinner every night.”

“Yes, I do,” he said, shooting me a look. “How else do I know you’re getting enough food in you, huh?” He pointed his rag at me. “Now you go ask him to get you home. Tell him I said he can clock out, and that he’s supposed to text me when he sees you safe inside. You better not say you’re gonna ask him again just to walk yourself home.” The old man shook his head as I headed for the back door, muttering to himself, “Damn girl thinks I’m gonna believe she’s feeding herself good enough when she’s risking her damn ass walking home alone.”

Despite the fact that I’d put off asking for Bucky Barnes’s service, I really did appreciate how fiercely Louis cared about me.

It had been a real long time since anyone had cared so much.

I hesitated at the back door of the diner, my hand resting against the cool metal.

What if he said no?

Granted, he most likely wouldn’t. But what if he said yes, and he secretly thought me some dumb little girl that couldn’t take care of herself?

What did I care if he thought that?

“I don’t care what he thinks of me,” I huffed as I straightened my shoulders, holding my chin a little higher.

“Stop talking to yourself and get going!”

I jumped in surprise, before shooting a glare in the direction of the kitchen. “Stop listening in on my private conversations!” I demanded before storming outside with new found vigor.

Only to freeze when Bucky looked up from where he was sitting on the curb, smoking a cigarette.

God, he was handsome.

“You okay, doll face?” He asked, his New York accent a sharp contrast to the southern drawls you were used to.

“Um… Y-Yeah,” I said faintly, glancing back at the door that I’d come in from. “Um… L-Louis wants me to ask you… Can you walk me home? Or give me a ride? I don’t… I don’t know if you drive…”

“I do drive.”

“O-Oh. Okay. Great.”

“But I don’t have my car on me.”

I peered at him curiously. “Oh. Um… I can just walk by myself. I don’t wanna… I don’t wanna be a nuisance…”

He stood up, tossing his cigarette to the ground and stomping it out. “Don’t be ridiculous, darlin.’ Come on. I’ll walk you.” He shoved his hands in his pockets as he began to head for the street. “Besides… It’s a real nice night.”

“Oh…,” I said in surprise at how ready he was to be of service. “Okay. But only if you’re sure.”

A faint smile graced his lips as he glanced at the ground, letting out a faint chuckle that rumbled deep in his chest. “I’m sure, darlin.’ But you gotta lead the way.”

I was surprised by the rapid pitter patter of my heart beat as we walked side by side down the street, the chorus of ‘Yellow Brick Road’ getting stuck in my head on a loop.

Bucky was an enigma that I found myself wondering about more often than not, but I always ended up talking myself out of going there. After all, he was an older man. A much older man. At least fifteen years older than my own twenty-two years, or something along those lines, not that he looked it. The man looked like some kind of rugged Greek god. Like Hades if Hades was born in the eighties. His dog tags clinked together under his shirt as we walked, his metal prosthetic glinting in the moon.

“So how did you end up in NOLA?”

It took me a moment to even realize that he was talking to me, my heart skipping a beat and my face going hot in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” I asked.

His bright blue eyes flickered over to look me over. “How’d you end up in New Orleans?”

“I actually don’t know,” I snorted, avoiding his eyes as I kicked at a few broken up pieces of asphalt. “I just… Picked a bus ticket and ended up in one of the Carolinas. Then I picked another bus ticket and ended up in Minnesota. And then I picked another, and another, and another, and then I actually just… ended up here.” The months I’d spent alone on those Greyhounds felt both so long ago and also like it was just yesterday. “The diner was the first place someone recommended for food that’s good but cheap, and as I was eating my mountain of cheese fries, I saw the flyer that said they were hiring. So here I am now…”

“Huh,” he said, his brows furrowed. “I didn’t take you for the type of person to run off on your own… riding buses all over the country…”

Head tilting to the side, I gave him a long look. “You didn’t? What kind of type did you peg me for?”

Bucky gave me a long look, a single brow raised as though silently telling me that I jumped to conclusions. “Just that jumping from place to place can take a lot outta someone,” he said slowly, his voice low and soothing. “Hell, if you were my girl—” He broke off as his cheeks flushed a pretty shade of pink, his long hair falling in his face.

I swore my heart had stopped inside of my chest, and I swallowed thickly around the lump in my throat. “Oh?”

He rushed to try to correct his wording. “I-I just mean, a lady should be comfortable. And if I had a g-girl like you, well… You’d never want for anything,” he stammered, stumbling over his words like a flustered school boy. “Hell, I… I’d give you the stars and the moon…”

I was shocked into silence, staring up at him like he was the sun itself. “Bucky…”

“No, no, don’t say anything. I… I know that was a lot,” he insisted quietly, unable to meet your eyes as he stared up at the shitty apartment building you called home. “Hell, you probably don’t want a gross old man hitting on you.” His metal hand, glinting in the low light of the street lamp, reached up to brush against my cheek for just a moment before it quickly dropped. “Just let me walk you home each night so I can make sure you’re safe, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I breathed out, unable to take my eyes off of him as he took a few steps back.

There’s a somewhat playful smirk on his lips as he watched me stumble up the steps, continuously glancing back at him. “Goodnight, baby doll.”

“Goodnight,” I said, barely audible before I finally headed inside.

Bucky kept his word. He walked me home every night, and honestly, there wasn’t a moment that I wasn’t thinking about what he had said, about if I was his girl.

What if I was his girl?

But… with that meant I’d have to give up the life I’d dreamed for myself. I wanted luxury, to never worry about bills or where I was gonna get my next meal or if I could afford to buy the nice work shoes or if I could only get the cheap ones that would fall apart in three months and then I’d just be right back where I started.

I wanted the life that celebrities lived. Hell, I wanted to go to parties on the same yachts the Kardashian-Jenners did, even if I couldn’t fucking stand them.

And with Bucky… I wouldn’t have that.

“So why’d you go on the run anyway?” Bucky asked one night as we sat on the curb, eating ice cream in the Louisiana heat. “I know you told me how you got here, but you’ve never told me why.”

“You’ve never told me how you ended up here or why either,” I shot back, nudging his shoulder with my own.

Somehow the age difference seemed non-existent as we sat there. Honestly, I felt like we were just a bunch of dumb teenagers, shooting the shit and enjoying each other’s company.

Bucky took in a deep breath, his shoulders sinking in a way that made it look like he had all the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I was over in Afghanistan for a long time,” he admitted quietly. “When the war first started, I was 19. I had no idea where my life was going and I had no options except my dad’s mechanic shop. So I enlisted with my best friend, Steve. The one I told you about.”

It’s completely silent except for the sound of an occasional car horn off in the distance.

“Neither one of us knew what we were doing. We realized very quickly that we had no reason being over there, but… but there was nothing else,” he said, swallowing around the lump in his throat. The ice cream he was holding was melting in his trembling hands. “I didn’t know how to do anything else, so I stayed. Steve moved up in the ranks, but I stayed pretty low… I didn’t mind. Kinda liked being the older guy all those young kids could talk to, could rely on… Because they were just like me, getting into a fight that wasn’t theirs because they had nothing else.”

My heart was shattering inside my chest as I scooted a little closer, my knee knocking against his as I tried to give him some sort of silent comfort. He’d been through Hell and made it through.

Bucky let his head rest against mine, his eyes closing as he breathed in the scent of my perfume. “They eventually moved me to some kind of specialized team… Called us the Howling Commandos. I found out that Steve was heading it and he picked me to be part of it. That’s how I met Sam, because he was on some sort of similar team with the Air Force, except it was just him and his friend, Riley,” he continued, taking a bite of his chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. “I am proud to say that I didn’t kill a single person while I was over there. I just couldn’t. Hell, they’re people just like me, terrified and unsure of what’s going to happen.” His lips pressed against my forehead, letting it linger. “But then about five years ago, I was on a mission with the Commandos, Sam, and Riley, and… this bomb went off while we were playing a game of soccer. I wasn’t even in a fight. That thing took my arm and it took Riley.”

Tentatively, I let my fingers find his, holding his hand and squeezing reassuringly.

“Sam decided to come home with me.” There was a forlorn look in his eyes, as though he was right back at that game of pick-up soccer. “After losing Riley… he couldn’t find a reason to be over there. And then Steve decided to stay, and hell, he’s still over there, leading that fucking team…” Glassy baby blue eyes finally found mine, the both of us doing our best to not cry. “I couldn’t face my family for a long time, so Sam asked me to come stay in Louisiana with him and his family, and I haven’t left since.”

“Have you gone to see your family?” I asked slowly, almost like I was scared I’d frighten him if I spoke too loudly, like a wild animal. “Let them know where you are? That you’re safe?”

He turned to look at me, his baby blues shining. “You worried about me, baby doll?”

“I can’t help it,” I said honestly, unable to tear my eyes away. I hadn’t opened up to someone like that in so damn long. “I can’t help but worry about you.”

The way that I felt about Bucky absolutely terrified me, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. It snuck up on me, like a train coming around a bend.

I hated it.

“What do you want out of this life?” Bucky asked on one walk home, his arm linked in mine. He’d become so much more… tactile. If anyone took a moment to look at us, they’d think we were a couple on a romantic stroll.

Perhaps we were.

But I couldn’t help but grin as I looked up at the sky, taking in the warm air. “I wanna live like how the movie stars do… I want a big house on the beach and twenty cars and a yacht and… and…”

He looked at me long and hard. “And you never wanna have to worry about where your next meal is coming from, if you’re gonna have a place to sleep at night…”

For some reason, I’d felt a bolt of panic over whether or not he’d understand. Whether or not he’d think differently of me, but I should’ve known that he wouldn’t. Hell, he knew me better than anyone else.

“You understand,” I said quietly, my hand squeezing his bicep gratefully. “I want to live how the other half lives for once. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

A small smile graced his features as we shuffled along. “There isn’t. But… What about love?” He asked.

“Love?”

“Love.”

Love.

Could I even have love? Did I want it?

“I don’t know if there’s a lot of room for love in my plans,” I admitted after a long moment. “In my experience, love has always just been a lie. A word used to manipulate and eventually abuse.”

Letting out a snort, he let his fingers tickle down my tricep until his fingers intertwined with mine. “I’d show you it’s not… I’d show you what real love is,” he said. “I’d give you every part of me, give you all my strength to help you grow into who you wanna be, even if I don’t particularly care about being famous or rich…” He brought my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles. “I’ll give you a love story, a life, that’s a million times better than any recycled Hollywood plot… I’ll give you the stars and the moon, if you would just let me.”

I hated the way that he made my heart beat faster, the way my breath hitched. “Jamie,” I breathed out quietly, the two of us having stopped in our tracks to just… take each other in. Live in each other’s presence for a moment. “I…”

“You want a big life… one a lot bigger than little old me,” he said simply, shrugging. His blue eyes were so honest, so loving. So warm. A warmth I hadn’t ever experienced before. “I know. But that doesn’t change that I’m in love with you. And if you ever change your mind…” Bucky reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card, pressing it into my free hand. “This is where you can find me. I figure it’s time for me to go home.”

We’d come to a stop in front of my building, and I was shocked at how tight my chest felt. My eyes watered as I stared at him long and hard. “Jamie, please… I⏤”

“Don’t say it. It’s okay,” he insisted as he cupped my cheek, letting his thumb run over my skin as though he was memorizing it. “I just want you to be happy, darling. You got that?” His lips pressed to my forehead, letting it linger. “Go get that life you’ve been dreaming of.”

Twenty-Three

I left New Orleans the next day, grabbing a bus ticket after throwing all of my belongings into my old duffel bag. It was time to move on.

But God, did it hurt.

I didn’t stop crying for weeks, fighting the urge to go right back to Louisiana and tell Bucky to take it back, to get him to beg me to stay with him.

But what kind of life would that leave me with? Working in the diner day after day? Never getting anywhere?

But you’d have James, a voice inside my head reminded me snarkily.

Then again, he most likely wasn’t even in New Orleans anymore, if what he said was true when he gave me the business card of his father’s mechanic shop. Was he really planning on going home to New York City?

A few months later, and I’d worked my way all through the southwest to Santa Fe, where I met Pietro.

My heart was pounding as I pressed in the familiar numbers, having memorized them from the business card now soft and faded from how often I held it in my hands like a lifeline. “Come on… Pick up… Pick up…”

“Barnes Tires and Motors, this is George,” a man said in a gruff voice when he finally picked up. “How can I help you?”

“H-Hi, is James there? James Barnes? Bucky?” I stammered out, hands trembling so bad that the old payphone was almost rattling.

There was a pause, and then muffled talking away from the phone.

And then I heard it being picked up. “This is Bucky,” he said.

It felt like the wind had been knocked right out of my lungs. How had I gone so long without hearing his voice?

Breathing in sharply, I tried to figure out the words to say. But my throat was dry and it was like I’d suddenly forgotten the entire English language.

That was all that it took for Bucky to realize it was me. “Baby doll? Baby doll, is that you?” He asked quietly. “I…” He took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “You don’t gotta say a thing, sweetheart… But just know that if you’re in trouble or you need help or… or anything at all, you better call me…” His voice wavered, as though he was fighting tears just like I was. “God, I miss you so much, baby doll. I love you.”

I love you, too.

I hung up before I could actually say the words. “God, I’m so fucking stupid,” I whispered as I leaned back against the wall of the gas station I’d found myself at, rubbing the heels of my hands into my eyes.

My dumb ass had decided to wander from the bus station, and I’d walked over a mile away. Unless I was staying in Santa Fe for a bit, I’d need to start making my way back.

“You okay?”

In my distress, I hadn’t even heard the rumbling of the motorcycle or noticed the handsome man making his way to me. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” I said even as I wiped my nose with a pathetic sniffle.

He eyed me for a long moment, his eyes roaming over my figure. “You hungry? I know a great little place nearby. My treat.”

And well, I was never one to turn down free food.

Even if that ‘little place’ ended up being a food truck.

“You know, when you said it was a little place, I didn’t picture it having wheels,” I said teasingly, licking salsa off of my lower lip. “Though, it is the best food I’ve ever gotten from a food truck before.”

“Oh, come on. This is the best food of all time!” He laughed, shaking his head.

“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” I snorted, finishing off my flautas.

Pietro looked at me long and hard. “So, are you gonna tell me what the hell was going on to have a pretty girl like you all teary eyed?” He asked, his head tilting to the side.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “Was this your plan all along?” I asked. Wiping my hands off on a napkin, I did everything I could to avoid his eyes. “Get me all fed and then question me?” But at the same time, the thought of being able to finally talk to someone about it was so appealing… After a long moment of hesitation, I finally gave in. “I fell in love with a man, and he let me go because he knew that I want a life he can’t give me,” I said. “And I was a bitch who didn’t even tell him I love him back when he said it to me.”

Pietro took in a deep breath, slowly letting it out. “Damn. You really are a stone cold bitch, aren’t you?”

“Hey!” I indignantly threw a chunk of tomato at him, glaring. “I just opened up my heart, you dickwad.”

“Dickwad?!” He said, blinking at me in shock. “No one’s ever called me a dickwad before.”

I raised a single eyebrow at him. “Maybe not to your face, but they definitely have.” He gave off the vibe of a fuckboy, of a really, really bad fuckboy.

“Well, since you’re running away from your feelings, how about you spend a week or two with me on the road?” He asked with a grin.

I couldn’t help but blink at him in shock. “What?” I let out a laugh, pulling one of my legs up to my chest. “Do you throw that line out to every girl you meet? Or am I just special?”

Pietro threw a chip at me, and I barely managed to dodge it. “No, I don’t. But… You remind me of me. Needing adventure. A life bigger than four walls and a fence.”

Instinctively, I wanted to snap back that sometimes, four walls and a fence could be an adventure, could be the biggest life there was, as Bucky’s face flashed across my mind.

But I couldn’t do that. Not when I wasn’t ready to face the truth myself.

“Come on, sweet cheeks,” he teased as his foot hooked around mine. “Just think of it. The open highway, a rhythm beneath your feet… Nights full of passion and days of adventure…” Pietro’s voice was deep and husky, as though he was trying to lure me in. “No strings… just warm summer rain soaking us to the bone before we find some cheap motel to huddle down in…”

Plastering on a smile, I stood up and brushed myself on. “Thanks, but… I’d rather be drinking champagne, and the quicker I get to LA, the sooner I will be.”

He let me go with a kiss on the cheek and his cell number pressed into my hand, with a promise to come and pick me up the second I rang.

And despite how sweet he was, how wild and funny and charismatic, there was only one man I wanted to call.

Twenty-Four

I sipped at my martini as I sat at the rooftop bar, absentmindedly watching the television that was mounted on the wall as people droned around me. I’d been in Los Angeles for a year, and I’d spent my time finding the best places to find a husband who could give me the life I dreamed of.

As much as I didn’t want to admit it, it took connections to build a career, and the best way to get a foot in the door when nepotism was so rampant was by marrying someone in the industry.

My silk dress was the most expensive thing I owned, something I’d saved up for months for, had skipped meals for. And fuck, was it worth it. I could feel the stares, the lingering gazes on the little bit of thigh that was exposed by the slit in the dress.

I’d already turned away several men, able to tell just from their expensive watches and cheap suits and shoes.

It was amazing how all the up and coming finance bros thought they fit in with the truly big dogs.

“Well, hello, gorgeous.”

I turned to see who was speaking, my heart skipping a beat when I realized who I was speaking to.

The world famous (or infamous) director, Tony Stark.

“Hello, handsome,” I said smoothly, my lashes fluttering innocently as I took a sip of my horrible drink.

I fucking hated martinis. Always had.

But ordering a martini was more sophisticated than ordering a frozen strawberry margarita.

“Is this seat taken?” He asked as he motioned to the empty bar stool right next to me, even as he was already sitting down. “Let me buy your next round.”

“I can’t think of anything better,” I said, feeling as though my dream life was already in reach.

Twenty-Eight

“Tony, where are you taking me?” I laughed as I let my boyfriend lead me to the private dock at our Malibu mansion.

Well, his mansion. I just happened to also live there.

It had been a whirlwind of a year since I had met Tony, and he’d bought me that second round. He’d taken me all over the globe, anywhere my heart desired.

But I made sure to avoid New York City, though he never understood why. I would never tell him.

Not when I was so close to my dream. I could practically taste it.

“Come on, come on. I have a surprise for you,” he said, keeping his hands over my eyes. He was sure to keep me from tripping and busting my ass, thank god.

The ocean waves were so comforting as they hit the shore, a sound I’d gotten used to over the past year.

He finally brought me to a stop, quietly telling me to keep my eyes closed. “Okay,” he said finally. “Open them.”

My eyes slowly opened, adjusting to the bright light of the California sun. But I was more shocked by the sight of Tony on one knee in front of me, holding out a box with a sparkling diamond ring in it. “Tony?”

The ring was the size of a fucking meteor. It was easily the biggest ring I’d ever seen.

“You know, I never thought I’d meet someone like you,” he said quietly, his dark eyes shining. But his voice was steady. “Someone who understands me, who doesn’t expect me to change into someone I’m not. You accept me as I am, and that’s why I want to give you the world.” He couldn’t help but grin as he nodded to the right. “Starting with that yacht you’ve always dreamed of.”

I hadn’t even noticed that there were two yachts at his private docks instead of just the one. The new one had SS Princess emblazoned on the side, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh… Tony…”

“So, what do you say?” He asked, bringing my attention back to him. “Will you be my wife?”

“Yes.”

Thirty-Two

Swallowing nervously, I looked down at the business card in my hand for the millionth time, the stock paper soft from how often I’d looked at it in the past ten years.

Hell, just how often I’d looked at it in the past six should’ve made it fall apart by now. Not that I didn’t have it memorized.

I’d finally ended my marriage after being miserable for so long. I’d gotten my yacht, my fancy houses, my career, all the jewelry that I could dream of, and none of it made me happy. Tony and I… never grew. And I never dreamed. Every day was the same, and every day was torture as I realized that I didn’t have the one thing that actually mattered.

The garage in front of me was busy, music blasting and the sound of men shouting to each other as they worked.

Suddenly I felt absolutely ridiculous wearing a Chanel dress and Gucci heels, an Hermés bag on my arm.

BARNES TIRES AND MOTORS was lit up along the top of the shop in bright red letters, though the lights in the ‘r’ of ‘motors’ were out.

I felt like a fool. I had wanted the life I had so desperately that I gave up everything for it. I got the movie star life, my name on billboards and my face on magazines.

But it wasn’t ever enough.

My heels clicked against the blacktop as I slowly made my way towards the front area of the shop, bells clinging above my head to let them know someone was there.

“Can I help you, ma’am?” A man asked as he came around the corner.

He looked so much like Bucky, it punched the air straight from my lungs.

“H-Hi. I’m looking for James Barnes. Is he here?” I asked after a long moment of hesitation. There was no way that the man was Bucky, but I didn’t doubt he was related.

The man raised his brows, wiping his hands on a rag. “My son’s in the shop. I’ll take you to him.” His full head of hair was white, his thick facial hair matching. Even with all the wrinkles on his face, he was a handsome man. Holding open the door for me, he led me into the loud shop, some eighties rock song blasting over the speakers.

I couldn’t help but smile as ‘Rock You Like a Hurricane’ by Scorpions came on. It was one of Bucky’s favorites back when we worked in the diner together.

“BUCK! YOU GOT A VISITOR!” The man shouted, causing several people to look our way.

My cheeks felt hot as I avoided their gaze, hoping they wouldn’t recognize me. I didn’t want to be a famous movie star anymore, a celebrity that had to beg for scraps of privacy.

My mind went numb, my heart stopping inside my chest as he stepped around a gray Ford Escape another man was working on.

He was even more handsome than he was the last time I saw him.

“Can I help y—” He broke off, his blue eyes going wide when he realized that it was me. “Hi.”

All of a sudden, everything I’d planned to say flew out of my head. All of the eloquent words I’d strung together were gone. And I just proceeded to word vomit.

“Did you know that, uh, when you marry someone you’re not in love with, you won’t… you won’t grow into it?” I asked, my voice shaking. “Um… I married a man who could give me a life I thought I always wanted, and he just… sucked.” Eyes stinging, I fought back against tears. “And I thought that all I ever wanted was the life I have now, was the life movie stars and the Kardashians lived. But… But I hate it. I hated every second I was away from you.” I let out a weak laugh, unable to stop the tears. “I wanted to turn around the second I got on the bus in New Orleans, but my stupid stubborn ass didn’t. I should have. I should’ve gotten off and just run right back to you because I… I love you, James. I always have.”

The garage had gone almost deadly quiet, and my heart sank when I realized Bucky looked almost frozen in shock.

“I know that I shouldn’t have showed up like this,” I scrambled to say. “But I… I’ve been trying to get my divorce finalized for two years and I finally did, and I kept telling myself that once it was done, I’d never hold myself back from what I really want ever again. From who I want. If… If you want me.” My face felt like it was on fire, my hands shaking. I shook my head as I took a step backwards. “What am I thinking? There’s no way you’re not married. I… I’m so so—”

Before I could finish the word ‘sorry,’ Bucky had closed the distance between us, his hands cradling my face so gently. He held me like I was made of fine crystal as he kissed me. He kissed me like his life depended on it, like I was the one source of oxygen.

And I kissed him back just as fiercely. “I love you. I love you so much,” I breathed out in between kisses, unwilling to let him go as my Hermés bag fell into the dust and oil on the concrete below.

Bucky smiled into the kiss, his arm wrapping around my waist to keep me pressed to his chest. “I love you so much, darlin.’ God, I’ve missed you…” His nose nudged against mine as we finally broke for air, both of us breathing heavily.

My knees felt like Jell-O as I held onto him. His grip was the only reason I hadn’t fallen to the ground already.

“I’m sorry I was a dumb twenty-two year old,” I said, snorting as he stole another kiss.

“No… Don’t be sorry,” he insisted, his fingers massaging my scalp as our foreheads pressed together. It was like he was scared to stop touching me, like I would disappear at any second. “You were young… You had to go out and make your own mistakes… I’ve just been waiting for the day you were ready.”

All the years apart melted away and all that remained was the two of us, two souls so intertwined that there was no way to truly separate us.

Our lips were half molded together as I said, “I’m never leaving you again. I promise I swear on everything…”

My heart almost stopped inside my chest as I heard someone clearing their throat, looking to see Bucky’s father staring at us with his arms crossed over his chest. “M-Mr. Barnes, sir…”

He gave a crooked smile that was so reminiscent of Bucky that I couldn’t help but grin back. “The Mrs. will wanna know if you’re staying for dinner.”

“Yeah,” I said as I looked up at Bucky, toying with a strand of his hair. “That sounds perfect.”

Later that night, Bucky and I laid in his bed, a mess of bare limbs as his fingers ran up and down my back soothingly. “What do you want from this life, baby girl?” He asked absentmindedly.

Humming, I traced shapes on his bare chest, sometimes pressing a kiss to where his prosthetic met his shoulder, on the tender scar tissue. “You.”

A grin tugged at the corner of his mouth, despite the already mischievous look on his face. “Really? Not even the stars and the moon?” He asked teasingly.

I knew he’d give it to me anyway, give me all that he could. But I was sure now that the only thing I wanted from this life was his love. “Not even the stars and the moon.”

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 5) - Date Night

Summary: The reader and Jensen go on their first fancy date together before attending a nanny happy hour the next night. The reader makes a new friend there to Jensen’s dismay but someone from the past will come along and change things between the new couple...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 4,200ish

Warnings: language, lying, angst, mention of past child abuse/assault, fluff

A/N: This a rough one, not gonna lie. Enjoy!

________

Friday Night

“Y/N, I’m downstairs when you’re ready,” said Jensen through your closed bedroom door.

“I’ll be there in five,” you said.

“See you in fifteen,” he chuckled before he walked away. You walked back into your bathroom, looking over your hair in a bun. It looked like a freaking messy bun actually. You should have done it down and in big flowy waves instead. You pouted and smoothed out your dress. Of course you were bloated and you’d nicked your leg more than once shaving earlier. 

“It’s Jensen,” you said to yourself, taking a deep breath. “He’s never even seen you in makeup before. You’re fine. He’s not gonna say anything.”

You forced yourself out of the bathroom and slipped on your heels, your clutch in your hand. You wobbled for a step or two on the carpet but did better once you were out in the hardwood hall. Ten seconds later you were downstairs, heading over to the foyer area. 

“All set?” you asked, Jensen spinning around. He smiled as he stared, eyes looking you up and down more than once, not even trying to hide it.

“Y/N, you look pretty,” said Arrow as she rushed in from the family room. 

“Yes she does,” said Jensen. “We’ll be home soon, okay?”

“Okie dokie,” she said, wandering off with a little wave.

Half an hour later you were sat at a table in a very nice restaurant, Jensen tugging on his collar. His cheeks were slightly pink but it wasn’t from the cold outside. 

“So...what’s a good wine?” you asked, sliding the drink list over to him. “I’m not really good with the names.”

“You like red or white?” he asked.

“Normally red,” you said. “You?”

“I like a Merlot,” he said. “You like dry?”

“Sure,” you said. 

“We’re not going dutch tonight you know right. This is all on me.”

“We can go dutch, Jensen.”

“I asked you out and this is fancy, even for me. My treat, okay?” he asked.

“Alright,” you said, looking around the restaurant and over in the distance to the bar. “You know I could go for a lemon drop actually.”

He smirked and set the list down, a waiter coming by. He ordered a gin and tonic for himself while you got your cocktail, Jensen breaking off part of a breadstick from the basket. 

“Bread’s good,” he said with his mouth full.

“So. Ackles,” you said, picking up a piece and tearing off a chunk with your teeth. He stared and started to laugh to himself. “Ah, there’s my sweet guy.”

“Thought you were gonna say boyfriend for a second.”

“This is our second official date,” you said. “So. Boyfriend.”

“Yes girlfriend?” he chuckled.

“What’s an appetizer look like in a place like this? Like a tiny cube of cheese with some dressing they’re gonna charge twenty bucks for or something like that?”

“You’re goofy,” he said, a big smile stuck on his face. “Uh, they probably have something like that. There’s normally some kind of bread olive oil bowl option.”

“Fancy people eat like a starving college student apparently,” you said. He tried to hide his laugh as your waiter brought over the drinks and a pair of menus. “Excuse me but can you recommend an appetizer? We’re both new to town and are wondering what you think is a good choice.”

“You can’t go wrong with our sourdough and seasoned oil dipping sauce,” he said. You glanced at Jensen and smiled. “The artichoke spinach dip and tartar crackers are also quite lovely.”

“Do you have anything with a little more substance? We’re quite starving,” said Jensen.

“The fried calamari and crab cake poppers combo is a great option,” he said.

“What’s calamari?” you asked.

“Squid, miss,” said the waiter.

“We’ll have that combo,” said Jensen.

“Perfect. I’ll put that in and be back shortly to get your dinner orders,” he said. He took off and you made a face at Jensen.

“Squid?” you asked.

“It’s fried. Trust me, it’s pretty good,” he said. “I could go for a good steak. You see a filet on here yet?”

“Uh,” you said, eyes scanning the page and seeing most everything was something you’d never heard of. 

“There it is,” he said. “I’m getting that and scalloped potatoes. See anything you want to try?”

“Uh, why does half of this seem like it’s a foreign language to me?” you asked. Jensen looked at his menu and chuckled.

“That would be because it’s in French. We’re in Canada and this is a french restaurant.”

“Oh. Gotcha,” you said. He got up and leaned over the back of your chair, glancing at the page.

“These are soups and salads,” he said, pointing near the top. “Sandwiches. Pasta. Main dishes down here.”

“Uh, maybe pasta?” you said. He knelt down and read off the dishes to you one by one, your waiter returning by the time he was just finishing.

“Anything I can assist you with?” he asked.

“I’ll have the fettuccine alfredo with chicken please,” you said, handing the menu to him, Jensen returning to his seat.

“Face principale?” he asked. You stared at Jensen and he smiled.

“She doesn’t speak French,” said Jensen.

“My apologies miss. What would you like for your main side dish?” asked the waiter. “Steamed vegetables, scalloped potatoes, lobster bisque-”

“I’ll have the vegetables,” you said. Jensen ordered and the waiter went to get your appetizer, a sad smile on his face.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think twice about the French thing.”

“Kinda hot that you know French,” you said. “I should try to learn it if we’re gonna be up here for a few months.”

“I’m an idiot and I learned it so you’ll do just fine picking it up,” he said. 

“So where’d you learn in the first place?”

“I’m stuffed,” you said, plopping your napkin from your lap onto the table awhile later. Jensen took the last bite of the piece of mouse pie, licking his lips as he finished. “This might have been the best alfredo I’ve ever had.”

“I enjoyed it. Mostly I enjoyed listening to you talk,” he said. You blushed and looked away, Jensen letting out a small hum. “It’s funny. Doesn’t really feel like just a second date, does it.”

“No, not really,” you said. “I guess that’s what happens when you’re friends first.”

“Well I definitely like being friends with you,” he said. 

“Me too, Jensen.” 

“Want to get out of here?” he asked. You smiled and nodded, the two of you outside a few minutes later wrapped up in your coats. Your feet were cold in just your heels, Jensen’s arm wrapping around your waist when you almost slipped more than once. It was slow going back to the car, especially when it started to snow lightly.

“You know, that dress would still look hot with winter boots,” he chuckled. 

“Sorry,” you said.

“No apology necessary. I got freaking dress shoes on and my feet are cold. I can’t imagine how you’re holding up,” he said.

“The perils of being a woman,” you said.

“Well, no need to impress me is all I’m saying. I ain’t looking at your feet anyways,” he said.

“Oh well in that case I’ll wear some nice baggy sweats next date.”

“Please do,” he said. 

“You really don’t care, do you.”

“I think you look beautiful tonight. But I think you look beautiful every night. You did your hair and makeup and this is stunning, don’t get me wrong. But she’s not more beautiful than the girl at home with hair tossed up all messy walking around in oversized shirts and leggings. It’s like flowers. Both are pretty but one isn’t more pretty than the other.”

“Where the fuck did I find you?”

“At my house,” he chuckled. You whacked his arm and leaned your head on his shoulder. “Almost back to the car. I’ll blast the heat for us when we’re in there.”

“Thanks Jensen.”

“Thank you for the date, honey. I mean it. We’ll do it again sometime. Promise.”

Saturday Night

“Your boyfriend seems pissed,” said Brandon. You sipped up the last of your beer, glancing over to the bar where Jensen was tapping his finger. 

“He’s fine,” you said. “So any good parks around the west side of town?”

“Center Grove is always my choice. Good playground, nice area, cops routinely are around. Parking can kinda be a bitch sometimes but it’s worth it in my opinion. My kids love it.”

“You’ve been their nanny for five years you said?”

“Mhm,” he said, knocking back the last of his drink. “Shawn’s mom is their mom’s best friend.”

“Oh. So you had an in already.”

“You know long term gigs are the way to go in this job,” he said. “Not too many American girls come up here. Your accent is cute.”

“Is it, eh?” you chuckled.

“Like I’ve never heard that one before,” he said, Jensen walking back with two beers and a clenched jaw. 

“You okay?” you asked as he sat it down in front of you.

“I’m fine,” he said, taking a long sip. Brandon slid off his seat and made a face. 

“I need a refill anyways. Nice meeting you Y/N. We gotta hang some time,” he said as he walked away.

“For sure,” you said, Jensen rolling his eyes behind his back. “Jensen what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” he said.

“Well you obviously have a problem with Brandon.”

“I don’t have a problem with him. I have a problem with my girlfriend flirting with another guy.”

“I was not flirting. I’m trying to make new friends. It was your idea to come to this thing tonight anyways.”

“Whatever,” he scoffed.

“Excuse me?”

“In case I wasn’t clear, I’m not the kind of guy where I’m okay with you dating multiple people at once. I don’t get that not exclusive shit.”

“I’m with you and only you. I was being nice. Geez, let’s just go,” you said. You got up and pulled your coat on, bumping into a guy on the way out. He turned and apologized, staring at you a little long.

“Y/N?” he asked, a big smile on his face. “My Y/N?”

“Dad?” you said, his face much older looking than you remembered but his eyes still the same.

“Dad?” said Jensen. You brushed past your dad and outside, Jensen hot on your heels. 

“Y/N,” your dad said as he left the bar. 

“Stay away from me,” you said. “Jensen I want to go home right now.”

“What-”

“Right fucking now!”

He held up his hands and you walked around the block to the car, getting inside and Jensen taking off.

“So your dad’s alive huh,” he said. You stared out the dark window with crossed arms. “So is everything I know about you bullshit?”

“What?”

“Is literally anything you’ve ever told me true? Your dad obviously didn’t die when you were a kid. All those late night talks about family and shit, you just like to fuck with people or something?”

“I was not flirting with Brandon you asshole. You didn’t need to know my whole life story the second I meet you.”

“Oh. Okay. Just your fake life story then, huh?” he said. You shook your head as he got stuck at a red light. “If I can’t trust you, I can’t employ you let alone date you.”

“Whatever,” you said. He drove in silence until you were out of the city, going along quieter roads. You were close to the house when he suddenly turned right towards the local park and stopped in the lot, putting the car in park. He touched your arm and you turned, Jensen leaning over and kissing you roughly, far more roughly than you thought he was capable of. You blinked when he pulled back, Jensen looking you up and down. 

“He won’t hurt you.”

“What?”

“Did he walk out on you and your mom?” he asked. “You told him to stay away from you. Sort of shouted it at him. Maybe you lied but maybe...I’m sorry I got jealous of Brandon. I’m still scared and I think you’re still scared too and that’s okay. If you lied about your dad, I’m gonna trust you have a good reason for it. I’m sorry for what I said. I trust you and I don’t want to know what my life is like without you in it.”

“It’s okay,” you said quietly. “I forgive you.”

“You don’t have to tell me what happened,” he said. “We can just go home, okay?”

“Why’d you pull over?”

“Because I knew I didn’t mean it and I knew I overreacted. I said I’d mess up when we started. It’s been a long time since I’ve done this. I’m 42 with three kids. Brandon is thirty and young and stronger than I am and can go out to the bar whenever he wants. You have options. You don’t have to settle for me.”

“If I’d wanted to settle, I’d have married my ex. What I wanted was the guy that forgives me for not telling him the whole story cause I’m not ready to say it. I want the guy that makes me happy and feel like I have a teenage crush but it’s deeper than that. You’re not the settle for option, Jensen. Why don’t you get that?”

“The last time I felt like this, I married the girl,” he said quietly. “That didn’t turn out so well.”

“You didn’t get the time you deserved with her. It doesn’t mean it ended badly. You loved her and she knew it. She wants you to be happy again, whether it’s me or somebody else.”

“See? That’s the shit that tells me...it tells me to keep falling for you. I’m so sorry for how I acted tonight.”

“I lied about my dad and not a little white one either,” you said with a nod. You turned away and felt his hand on your cheek. “So much of what I told you was a lie.”

“You don’t have to tell me the truth right now, Y/N.” He stroked your cheek and you glanced over, meeting his soft green eyes.

“My mom died giving birth to me,” you said, Jensen nodding. “He hated me for it. Hated me. He would hurt me when I was a toddler. When I was four he started doing...other things.”

“Four?” he breathed out.

“I didn’t know it wasn’t normal. Not until I started school. I was scared though so I never said anything. One of my friends mom’s realized what was going on when I was over playing one day. He went away and lost custody. I went into foster care briefly and got adopted when I was eight. Single mom who’d lost her husband young. That’s my mom. She was a kind person. Ray was always good to her and to me. But I asked him not to adopt me after she was gone and he knew it was because I was still scared of a dad again. Being a nanny, I’ve met fathers that look at me and I just know what was going through their head. I reported him and kinda fucked up their family situation but-”

“That was the right thing to do,” he said.

“I know it was. I’ve just...I’ve had more than one guy and even a woman walk in on me changing or into my bathroom and it’s like, she’s just the help, nobody cares. They don’t touch so it’s like...what can I even do? Then my house before this one, the guy tried getting in my shower with me and I shoved him and he broke his arm and I just don’t understand why so many people think I’m just a piece of meat. Even my ex never got why it bothered me so much. They didn’t touch me so what was wrong with it? He just didn’t get it. He would get mad if I wasn’t in the mood for sex. Nobody ever fucking gets it except you who I lied to and pissed off tonight and without a word of an explanation why, you say you won’t let somebody hurt me. Do you get why you’re the opposite of fucking settling Jensen?”

“I won’t hurt you.”

“I know you won’t Jensen.”

“How?”

“Because you’re a good person. You’re so gentle and kind. I know you’re strong and tough but I see it everyday. You should never be worried about how your kids will turn out. If they are half as good as you are they’ll be fucking great people. Your daughters aren’t gonna put up with shit and your son is gonna be kind to everyone and say fuck you to the toxic guys out there. I can already tell the kind of person you are through them and it’s a good one. A really good one.”

“I’m not the only good person in their lives,” he said. You sniffled and looked down, Jensen’s hand sliding under your chin and tilting it up. “You don’t have to apologize for not telling me all of that. Never apologize for not telling me that. Okay?”

“I never told anyone about…the other stuff,” you said, wanting to look down but Jensen’s hand holding your chin up.

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m sorry it took you so long to find people that would protect you.”

“You mean…” He nodded and dropped his hand away, running it over your head. “You’re not gonna like, go back and kick his ass are you?”

“Want me to? I’m very tempted at the moment,” he said.

“I just want to go home. I could use one of those hugs right now.”

“Do you want to stay with me tonight? Just to stay, nothing more.” You nodded and he kissed your forehead, a tiny smile crossing your face. Ten minutes later you were home and the babysitter was gone, Jensen pulling you into his room next to yours. You blew your nose in his bathroom and washed off your face, lifting your head to find a pair of your pajama shorts and one of his shirts on the vanity beside you. He smiled as he ducked out, leaving you to change. You let your hair down and took off your bra before you walked out and saw his blanket on the opposite side of the bed. “Warm enough?”

You spun around as he walked inside and you nodded, Jensen pulling you into a hug. 

“I’m sorry for how I was at the bar,” you said.

“I was the one that overreacted, not you,” he said. You felt goosebumps on your arms and he pulled away to turn up the heat, nodding over to the bed. The covers were flung back and you climbed underneath, Jensen getting in on his side. His arm wrapped over your waist and pulled your chest close to his, face only inches away. “You don’t have to worry about him anymore. No one will hurt you again. I promise.”

You moved closer to him, resting your forehead against his.

“Remember last Saturday when we were on the trampoline and you talked about those safety nets,” you said.

“Yes, I do.”

“You’re a really good net,” you said softly.

“So are you,” he murmured. He kissed the tip of your nose and you shut your eyes. “What’d you want to be when you were little?”

“A princess,” you said. He chuckled and you smiled. “I wanted a prince to come take me away and everything would be just fine.”

“Really?”

“Princesses were always happy at the end of the movie,” you said. “They got the boy and they were happy. Then I grew up and prince charming doesn’t exist.”

“Cause you’re not a damsel in distress. You didn’t need the prince to save you.”

“But the prince would have made life so much easier.”

“I’m partial to badass princesses myself,” he said. You opened your eyes and he was smiling.

“I’ve never noticed your freckles before.”

“They come out more when I spend some time in the sun.” You moved a hand up and traced under his eye, Jensen nuzzling into his pillow. “Make you a deal. If the badass princess saves me, the scared prince will save her too.”

“Okay,” you said. You kissed him lazily, Jensen smiling through it. 

“Do you want to be a nanny forever?”

“Not forever. It’s an easy way to feel like you have a family when you don’t.”

“Now you do,” he said.

“Jensen you don’t know if this will work out.”

“I do and you do and we’ll take it slow anyways,” he said. “Which is why I’m asking do you want to be a nanny forever.”

“Why?”

“Because maybe someday I won’t need one,” he said. 

“I thought about being an elementary school teacher when I was eighteen for a hot second.”

“You did? You’d be amazing.”

“Pay in Texas is crap though. I make more as a nanny.”

“If money wasn’t an issue though, would you want to be a teacher still?”

“Anything at all?” you asked, Jensen nodding, nose brushed against yours. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

“You okay?” he asked, reluctantly letting you out of bed.

“I’m good. I want to show you something,” you said. You slipped out of the room and down the hall to the playroom, picking up a book. Jensen was sat up in bed when you returned and crawled under the covers. You handed him the book and he smiled.

“I don’t remember buying this,” he said, flipping it over. “There’s no serial code on it.”

“You can’t buy it. I wrote a children’s book and printed a few copies for myself,” you said.

“You wrote a book?” he asked, flipping through it. “Did you draw this?”

“Yeah,” you said, Jensen staring at you. “I don’t know if it’s any good. I never tried publishing it.”

“You want to write children’s books, don’t you?” he said, starting to read the story.

“I have a number of them written out. I would make up the stories for kids at bedtime and decided to write them down. It’s kinda like whinnie the poo, that age group, you know? Same group of characters but different stories,” you said.

“These are adorable,” he said, turning another page. You were quiet while he read through for a few minutes, Jensen smiling when he shut the book. “I’ve never read a children’s book where they deal with the loss of a parent.”

“The kids really like it,” you said.

“You should publish this. Seriously. It’s cute and I’m a grown ass man and it made me feel better about Dee.”

“It’s just a story,” you said, rubbing the back of your neck.

“I make stories for a living. This whole place would fall apart without stories. This is good. You should consider trying to get it published.”

“Maybe if that nanny job doesn’t work out I will,” you said. 

“Do you mind if I keep this?” he asked.

“Not at all. I gave it to JJ in the first place.”

“Thanks. I want to read this to the twins tomorrow,” he said. He set it on the nightstand and slid back down, pulling you with him. “Why’d the mom fox die in the story? I would have expected the dad wolf considering…”

“Wish fulfillment for a nice father,” you said. “Plus I like drawing the wolf.”

“I like him. He’s fluffy,” chuckled Jensen. “Is that why you asked if I carry a picture of my kids when we met?”

“I’m done with asshole parents. If they treat their kids like shit they sure as hell aren’t gonna treat me any better. You seemed like a good guy. Good guys tend to do that kind of thing.”

“I’m not always good.”

“Yeah, you are,” you said. You shut your eyes and nuzzled close to him, Jensen letting out a soft hum. “You okay? With me being here.”

“Very. Feeling better after everything that happened?”

“Mhm,” you said. “I’m still sorry I lied to you.”

“Did you ever lie about your mom?” he asked. “I mean aside from the fact she adopted you, did you lie about her?”

“No.”

“Then you didn’t lie, not really. I’m sorry it came out like that. You should have been able to tell me in your own time.”

“You still would have been angry,” you said. 

“I still would have come to my senses too. I’m not perfect. I never was.”

“I don’t want someone perfect,” you said. Your head rested against his chest and you let out a soft sigh.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he said. He kissed the top of your head and tucked it under his chin, adjusting the blankets once before he stilled.

“Goodnight, Jensen.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 6 here!

[100rubiezontheground]

She Way Out

Pairing: yugyeom x reader (ft. Jinyoung and Jungkook)

Word count: 10.7k

Genre: smut, fluff, angst, infidelity.

Plot: one day you met Yugyeom and became his partner in crime for whole one year, next year was spent crushing and daydreaming of him. Next year was passed over fucking him. Another year later he broke you, next year you broke him by dating someone else and at last, next year you both finally came together. So it’s a six year story completed in just one – shot.

Warning: alcohol use, mention of drug (never take em yall), cursing, violence, smut, choking, slut – shaming, infidelity and I don’t know if there’s more that’s all I see, if you see more then let me know.

a/n: got this idea after hearing she way out of 1975 and completed it by listening rip 2 my youth of neighbourhood. Yeah I know they both are as like chalk and cheese but whatever.

---x---

It was another party hosted by Dwayne a rich snob in your university who loved throwing parties and showing off, blah! But you didn’t mind. You get free booze, why would you mind?

You were swaying your hips sensually at the beat with your fifth partner tonight, vodka in hand while other was busy fondling with his hair.

His grip on your waist tautened and he brought your body close to his. Your ass touching his length and you could feel him harden beside.

Desire to tease him permeated wildly in your mind. You took a step clear from him biting on your lower lip to contain your wide smirk. But just as hastily you acted his hand also reacted in same whizz.

‘’Don’t try to tease, baby.’’ he whispered for your ears only.

‘’I’m not teasing just going to refill my glass.’’ you sneered innocently with puppy eyes.  

‘’Your glass is almost full, sweetheart.’’ he smirked and you bit on your lip getting red caught in your game. You took a big gulp and chugged your vodka down hand.

‘’It’s empty now.’’ you snapped parting from him to get some fresh air he was hot though but super clingy not your type.

You sat on empty booth and looked around for some other hench. You’ve changed your partner almost like five times in less than an hour and still couldn’t find an actual enthralling guy to fling around with.

You hit your thigh sulkily with a pout for not seeing any hot guy to have fun with. Just then someone’s presence filled the empty spot beside you, his warmth inevitable at your side.

‘’Someone’s sulky again.’’ he said.

‘’I’m not sulking.’’ you jeered to Yugyeom, facing him.

‘’Oh! Really, doesn’t seem like that though, y’know you can’t lie from me.’’

‘’If you are just here to annoy me, you better leave.’’ you whined.

‘’Again with whining.’’ he teased shaking the glass in his hand and you started driving him away pressing your palms on his chest.

‘’Go away.’’ you screamed.

‘’Stop-calm down- okay, stop It.’’ he said as you continuously dragged him away. He placed his glass on table and grasped your both hands tightly.

‘’Calm down.’’ he shouted authoritatively and you sat back reclining on the couch, silently but sulkily.

‘’ So, are you bored.’’ he asked.

‘’No way, I’m enjoying hard’’ you snapped.

‘’lie. Don’t think that I didn’t see you changing your partner every fifteen minutes in a row.’’ he teased and you rolled your eyes.

‘’I think I can stimulate you if you’re bored.’’ he suggested.

‘’Fuck off.’’ you replied.

‘’Come on, you know I’m too good at it.’’

‘’I’ll kick your groin if you said that again.’’

‘’But you said it yourself last night.’’ he said with a smug smirk, reminding you of last night events when you were chanting hymns of praises of him while he thrusted in you.

‘’I was drunk.’’ You retorted.

‘’Just a shot won’t get you drunk.’’

‘’You’re so smug.’’ You frowned.

‘’Shouldn’t I be when you…’’ knowing well what he was implying, you elbowed him hard on his torso causing him to whine in pain.

‘’I can enjoy without you and I’ll show you.’’ you said placing the empty glass on table with a loud thud.

You rendezvous met him one day in your high school and came to know that you both were compatible on insanely level. Since then you became his partner in crime.

Things started with you both unleashing all your inner mischief by intimidating the hell of others. At nights you would spray on walls and fences of people’s home and in mornings you would do much wicked things than anyone could imagine involving puncturing wheels of cars and a lot more shit.

You and he were best friends but slowly you felt things more intimate between you two. How protective he was always around you, how he would do small things to please you, how he’ll never let any man hurt you.

He always acted around you with an authority like you were his property and as much as it should’ve annoyed you, it impressed you instead because you were starting to fall from him and one day you proposed, yeah! You did propose that smug asshole.

You hoped he felt the same but no instead of loving you as you hoped, he suggested jizz. So you both agreed on ‘’absolutely no strings attached’’ and that’s how you whizzed through this game of cat and mouse.

It hurt you at first. It hurt like your crystal heart got multiple cracks on it and could rupture any time soon. It hurt to see how he would disappear in mornings and come back next night to repeat same. It hurt you because he didn’t love you the same, he never fell for you just the way you did so deeply.

But as time passed by, reality slapped you like someone poured a bucket of icy water on you while you were asleep. You realized, you couldn’t wait for him forever.

You had to find someone who’ll love you same, who’ll be there for you in every morning and every night and the day you realize it, it was today. Today you made amends to show him that you’re more than what he thinks.

Usually when he wasn’t with you he would knock off another girl and you thought of the same. Least to say, he didn’t mind at first but then something burned inside him whenever he saw you with any other guy tonight. It incinerated a fire inside him whenever he saw you enjoying with someone who’s not him.

You stood up from booth taking your leave when he clenched your hand and tugged you on his lap.

‘’You know, I can make you feel better than any other guy here.’’ he said as a matter of fact.

‘’You feel so stuck up without any reason. Don’t worry, I’ll break that ego of yours when I’ll leave with someone who’s not you.’’ you let out with venom on your tongue. Before you could even argue further he crashed his lips on yours.

At first you struggled to depart but then you give in. Damn he was a bad kisser. Bad in a sense which made your heart race, bad in a sense which ignited fire inside you, bad in a sense which absolutely took off control of your body.

You wrapped your hands around his shoulders catching with him. If not your mind want to stay, your body totally wanted to. He had that effect on you that even your mind and body would always be at sixes and sevens.

‘’You see no one can make you feel like I do, you can go around pretending that you don’t like me but your body says otherwise, it falls for me every time.’’ he smirked and it was in that moment you realized what a huge mistake you just did.

That’s why you should listen to your mind. You quickly stood up from his lap straightening your black short dress which barely covered your thighs and his eyes immediately drifted to the hem of dress as you affixed your dress.

‘’It was a weak moment but don’t worry I won’t even look at you again and neither my body.’’ you said gnarly and it was in that moment when he realized what wrong he has done.

‘’Hey no wait- you know how I’m like, right? Just as you say super egotistic- I’m sorry okay.’’ he said but you paid no attention to him and scurried away.

He called your name but you didn’t reply. When you were listening to none of his call he paced towards you and clenched your wrist in attempt to stop you.

‘’I’m sorry baby, okay.’’ he said softly, stroking your cheek gently. ‘’Don’t leave.’’ he requested but you pushed him.

‘’I’ll show you your place by leaving with some guy much better than you.’’ you screamed venomously pacing in different direction. You looked around in an attempt to find a guy to beat your holier than thou friend.

Just then your eyes landed on a sexy man sipping on his drink. He was surrounded by his friends and a shawty girl clinging on his arm. He tried to jerk her away but she was pretty clingy.

Considering that it was chance to your exultant peach moment, you didn’t hesitate to approach him. By the time you went there he managed to get away from that drunk, clingy girl.

‘’Hey!’’ you simply said. He scrutinized you from head to toe. His lips turning into a sexy smirk.

‘’Like what you see.’’ you snapped.

‘’Why not, when the sight is so pretty.’’

‘’God, you move fast.’’ you sniggered rolling your eyes causing him to chuckle.

‘’Now what can I say? I’m pretty straightforward.’’ He said.  

‘’Hmm that’s intriguing.’’

‘’Hitting on me.’’ he snapped.

‘’Ain’t that crystal clear.’’

‘’Ah, totally my type of girl.’’ he cooed grinning.

‘’What’s your name?’’ you asked

‘’Shownu’’ he replied and asked you for yours which you precisely gave him.

‘’Shall I buy a drink for you.’’ he offered.

‘’You sure do that, I’ll never say no to free booze.’’

You talked to him for like a whole forty five minutes which was a thing to celebrate because you had a thing to change your partner periodically.

You were enjoying with him exceedingly. No, it was a complete lie if you say that. You couldn’t fathom why you couldn’t do that, no matter how hard you try to figure out. Your mind was going back and forth to Yugyeom perpetually.

You couldn’t help but compare his tiny gestures and traits with Yugyeom’s albeit they had nothing in common.  You tried to avert your mind from Yugyeom and focus on Shownu but fizzled out. ‘That motherfucker’ you thought.

You looked around for his familiar face but he was nowhere to find. You felt amazed and somewhat dismayed upon not catching sight of him. You excused yourself from Shownu to find your best friend turned into crush now rival.

You looked for him everywhere and then your eyes landed on him standing in a corner talking with a girl and laughing at whatever she was saying, his hand on her waist. She tapped his shoulder, grinning and you felt a tinge of jealousy spark in you.

You knew it all too well that if you went there in mean to start a conversation with him he’ll totally avoid. That way it would be a long way out. So, you went by playing Russian roulette.

You marched hastily towards him and pushed him to wall behind crashing your lips on his. He was stunned at first and you could feel it but then as he realized it’s you he didn’t hesitate to catch up with you. At that moment he totally forgot about the other girl and rest of the world, all he needed was you.

The loud music blasting through speakers was not audible to you both as you entered in a different universe, a universe in which only you both were allowed to enter. A universe which was completed only by warmth of your bodies.

He clutched your waist and pulled you closer to him. His chest colliding to yours and you wrapped your hands around his arms deepening the kiss.

Your one hand in his hairs bringing him closer to you. No matter how close you both were it was still not enough for you and same was with him.

His hand reached down to grab your ass and gave it a squeeze making you gasp. He took it as an advantage and penetrated his tongue in your mouth massaging your own. After you had your fill, you both parted for air and looked at each other adoringly.

‘’Miss me?’’ he asked.

‘’Yes.’’ you simply replied.

‘’But when I begged you to stay, you threw me off.’’

‘’That’s because you did the same with me first.’’

‘’When? I can’t remember anything like that.’’ he said rolling his eyes in an attempt to tease you.

‘’Don’t make me remember you of all those times when you took me for granted.’’ you warned.

‘’Fine, fine, you’re out of my league.’’ he said slamming his lips on yours. He sticked his tongue into your mouth and explored it but not touched your tongue giving it a tease.  

You couldn’t hold any more tease so getting the lead out you started massaging his tongue. He lift you up from your hip and started moving out before someone stopped him calling his name.

You two broke away from the kiss upon hearing his name and saw the girl who he was talking to standing behind with a dangerous smirk dancing on her lips and eyes as cold as ice which’ll numb your body and pierce through your skin like thousand daggers penetrating.

If glaring can kill then she may give you the most callous death. Your eyes remained riveting on her as she glared you, her eyes fixed on you with a scowl on her face.

‘’Jenna I… um I can explain.’’ Yugyeom stuttered.

‘’Explain what that you’re leaving me for this wench.’’ she screamed.

‘’Who are you to say that.’’ you shouted at her getting vexed upon hearing her call you names.

‘’I’m her girlfriend.’’ she screamed and you froze immediately hearing those words. Since when did he started dating? You wondered. You looked at Yugyeom with a surprised face and saw his head hung low because of shame.

‘’Can you explain?’’ you asked.

‘’It’s complicated.’’ he said slowly.

‘’When did you start dating, you never told me about it.’’

‘’I didn’t think you’ll like the idea…’’ he started but you cut him off before he could even complete, throwing your hands in air motioning him to stop.

‘’You are no one to earn an explanation, slut.’’ his girlfriend screamed causing other students from your university to peep their heads in curio at the scene in front.

‘’Yeah! Sure I’m no one he should explain.’’ you said with tears in your eyes, staring him. You were just on the edge of crying but no you wont cry in front of everyone because of a friend who never valued of your intensive, immaculate love for him.

You glanced him one last time before exiting from the scene. You went straight to your hostel and cried in your pillow constantly for hours.

Later, in early morning when you were done with crying something burned in you. A kind of fire infuriated in you which had been anonymous this whole time.

You weren’t his type but you decided you’ll be someone he’ll regret later. Someone he’ll die to have in his arms only to realize that the thing he wants is not attainable. He never valued you, his bad. So you decided to show him how worthy you are, how worthy you can be.

One year later                    

After the night you gave all the love to yourself which you didn’t give earlier and became perfect epitome of maven. You would be active all the time in every activity and were favourite of all of your professors, never in a million years had you thought this would happen.

As much as you flourished Yugyeom on the other hand, blemished. Getting into fights was always his strongest suit but now it even marred.

He being involved in fights, throwing fists collecting fists was a very common thing now. Mocking him was like the easiest thing in this universe. He would drink till his body could no longer resist.

You never talked to Yugyeom after that night and neither did he. He never called or texted but most importantly he never apologized. He never said it out loud but you knew it was over whatever relationship you had with him was over.

But you didn’t care about it now, you got past him somehow. Now you became an intellectual person who everyone aspires to be.

From brain to looks with courtesy of personality everything impeccable about you. You made new friends and a lot of boys tried to grab your attention but would be left off anguished when they would come to know about your intact boyfriend Park Jinyoung which they never can be.    

Jinyoung was totally flawless and one of the most famous guys of university. With strong facial features and genius brain everything about him was unblemished. He was also a member of most famous group of university.  

You both could’ve been called as power couple of university which everyone desires to be.

Though you always told yourself you didn’t miss Yugyeom but you’ve actually missed him on some good days.

You missed his teasing, you missed how he always comforted you whenever something was wrong and you missed how he knew you better than anyone else. You missed how he always knew what you were going to say before you could even open your mouth.

Though you tried to wipe him out of your existence downright but memories always lingered around and it seemed like they always will linger.  

It was another Friday night meant another knocking off some random weirdo night but not for you. Your boyfriend always sticked to your side whether it’s Friday, Saturday or any day.

You were in midst of a group filled with drunken students nagging about all of their life problems and how unfair life and god is with them.

Your head was starting to ache after hearing their whining and also because of the strong smell of their hard liquors.

If you were sober, you would completely get inebriated because of the intoxicated smell.

‘’Baby, you okay?’’ Jinyoung asked noticing you scrunch up your nose because of irritation.  

‘’I don’t think so.’’ you said honestly.

‘’We can leave if you want.’’

‘’I think that’ll be inappropriate if we just stand up and exit, we must think of a good, feasible excuse for our exodus.’’ you suggested and he chuckled over how you always thought of the plausible outcomes before taking a decision.

Just then, his phone buzzed and he precisely answered it. Whatever the call was about it unnerved him. You could feel the grave tension as his features tensed, this kind of look was rarely found on his face.

He would never let the grim situation take over the best of him and would play it cool. He was the one handling situations with an ease in lieu of getting all stressed up and do absolutely nothing. He ended the call and shoved his phone in his back pocket with an urgency.

‘’What’s wrong?’’ you asked.

‘’Jaebum got into a fight.’’ he explained.

‘’Why and with whom?’’ you asked.

‘’I don’t know much either, except that I have to leave soon and be there as soon as possible before Jaebum single- handed break the guy’s neck.’’ Jinyoung explained hastily getting up to depart.

You followed him, trailing behind. He stopped out of the university campus and so did you. By the time you reached, there were people all mustered up enjoying the show, shouting and coaxing them to kill the life out of one another.  

You could still hear the tenor of Jaebum shouting from top of his lungs and cursing whoever he was fighting to. Raging fury evident in his voice.

As people surrounded the perimeter Jaebum and whoever other person was, weren’t visible but sound of skin slapping skin, muscle slapping muscle resonated far off.

You and Jinyoung pushed the immense crowd getting past them. Your jaw almost dropped to ground beneath when you saw who Jaebum was fighting to, none other than Kim Yugyeom.

Both of their faces were covered with purple and red bruises because of the dongs they were sparring.  Blood dripping out from Yugyeom’s mouth and kinda similar was Jaebum’s condition except that his corner of mouth was bleeding and Yugyeom’s whole mouth was bleeding. Yugyeom’s lower lip was draining from blood.

Jaebum had a vantage as he was on atop of him. But still Yugyeom was doing wonders at defending himself by his fists. Not a moment later, Yugyeom knocked him off to ground beneath. Nestling himself on his chest he threw whacks after whacks on his face till his cheeks engorged.  

Jinyoung immediately rushed to stop them. He dragged Yugyeom away from Jaebum, more of like thumped him on the other side causing his head to bleed out. You gasped when you saw blood drip out from Yugyeom’s head, flowing freely on the ground beneath.

Just then entered a new boy in the fuss Yugyeom’s best friend Jungkook. He first shoved Jinyoung behind and blowed a fist over his face knowing exactly well what his intentions were.

Jaebum got a hold on himself and elbowed Yugyeom on his stomach this move of his threw Yugyeom off - balance. Now it was going on Jinyoung fighting Jungkook and Jaebum fighting Yugyeom, two for two.

You entered in the ruckus and tried hauling Jinyoung away from Jungkook. You pushed him from his chest and entered between them both and Jinyoung halted his actions when he saw you. Somehow, you coaxed Jungkook to stop too.

You then went to stop Yugyeom followed by other two boys. Jinyoung tried hauling away Jaebum and so did Jungkook tried too with Yugyeom but they never seemed to stop though, sucking the life out of each other.  

‘’Yugyeom stop.’’ you shouted in an attempt to stop him though it doesn’t seem to affect him. So you grasped his wrist tightly. The crowd started cursing on you for spoiling their fun by stopping them but you were too busy to care.

‘’Stop it, Yugyeom.’’ you screamed.

He immediately stopped when he heard your voice call his name for the second time. But his faltering gave leeway to Jaebum as he freed himself from Jinyoung’s hold and fist blowed him on his left cheek causing him to fall down. People started to wipe away as they heard siren of cops’ cars.

‘’We need to get out of here.’’ you said gazing the cops reach near and near by every passing second but boys didn’t seem to care about that as they continuously wrestled.

The police cars came to a halt and surrounded y’all. The cops shouted for them to standstill which they did so ‘cause they knew now they were busted.

Cops arrested all of you and took you to police station for investigation. Every one of you explaining their role in fight to a different cop.

After you were done explaining cops reckoned you weren’t at fault. You were free to go but as a substitute you waited for your boyfriend.

Yugyeom’s parents and Jaebum’s parents were their too taking responsibility of their troubled sons. Considering Yugyeom’s dad was an advocate you knew he’ll get out of the ruckus he created easily but what worried you was Jaebum.

You sat there for more than thirty five minutes formulating alternative scenarios in your mind. What if they weren’t able to make it out and instead have to suffer in prison or what if it turned out bad and ended up becoming a court case?

But these thoughts were stupid because there was no way where Yugyeom would suffer and if you were right then his dad would save others too because he wouldn’t want to tarnish his image by stupid tittle tattles.

It was crystal clear that Yugyeom was the one instigating the fight so if his dad will save only him it’ll be tangible enough that people would backbit that an attorney saved his only child at fault but let others to die for. He would be consider as a deceitful lawyer and his image would be jeopardized.

You were brought out of your reverie when someone made his way to yours. His paces fast and heavy putting on view that he was still mad. You looked up and saw Jungkook flaunting with a frown on his face.

‘’Hey, Is everything alright?’’ you asked him once he was close by.

‘’Were you here the entire time?’’ was what he asked.

‘’That’s not the question, answer mine.’’ you demanded.

‘’Why don’t you ask everything from your boyfriend, he’ll be here in a few moments. I have to go.’’ he said striding past you.

You tried follow Jungkook for answers but stopped when you heard screams. You looked behind and saw Yugyeom’s dad yelling at him on top of his lungs in front of everyone letting everyone know how ungrateful and problematic he is for him and for whole family. Yugyeom kept his head down because of shame, it was an old habit of his and you knew it.

He glanced up and met your eyes gazing him with so much warmth and concern he could melt. You wanted to talk to him, talk about what happened, talk about why he instigated a fight but you knew it’s not right time and place to.

You saw him stride past you with his dad and constantly stared at that way even though he was long gone. You heard Jinyoung call your name and looked behind to meet his tired eyes followed by Jaebum.

‘’Were you here the whole time?’’ Jaebum asked.

‘’Yeah, I didn’t want to leave without you guys.’’ you said truly earning a sweet smile from both.  

‘’let’s go it’s getting too late now.’’ Jinyoung suggested.

‘’What about you jae?’’ you asked him.

‘’I’ll leave with my parents.’’ he said.

‘’So does that mean that you guys are free?’’ you asked.

‘’Yeah. Yugyeom’s dad saved all of us actually saved his image. Technically he didn’t want to smudge his image because of his son so he talked to police and they left us four with a warning.’’ Jaebum explained. You knew it. You nodded in understanding.

‘’I’ll ask my parents to drop you both too at campus, is that alright.’’ Jaebum cut in your thoughts. You both nodded acquiescing.

The next day, you were sitting in campus café with Jinyoung sippin’ on your latte. He was going through some of his documents from work. You didn’t want to disturb him but you wanted to talk to him.

‘’Can I ask you something?’’ you asked.

‘’Anything.’’ he replied still scanning his papers.

‘’What was the fight about?’’

‘’It was Yugyeom who started it, nothing new.’’

‘’Yeah but why? There must be a reason for him getting this mad.’’

‘’No reason. He’s just crazy, gets mad at everything.’’

‘’Well someone must have mocked him, a person don’t start sparring over nothing no matter how crazy he is. Jaebum must have said something which hurt him, its psychology.’’

‘’Are you takin’ his side?’’ jinyoung sneered.

‘’I’m just spitting facts.’’

‘’Well Jaebum joked and he took it a bit too seriously and started throwing fists that guy is crazy.’’

‘’See I told you something must’ve irked him.’’

‘’Whatever, I’ve to go. My class is starting in five minutes.’’

‘’ ‘kay bye.’’ you said.

After Jinyoung left you burrowed your nose in your novel reading every word carefully. A slight smile danced on your lips when you read the romantic scene between the protagonists.

Just then chair in front of you screeched and someone took the empty spot. You looked up from your book hoping that it’s Jinyoung or Jaebum but it was none of them.

‘’Hey.’’ Yugyeom said. He was the last person you expected to see.

‘’You look so fucked up.’’ you said noticing the purple and blue marks on his face. He chuckled at the comment.

‘’Didn’t you put something on them?’’ you asked him tilting your face so you could see his scars clearly.

‘’No way I’m putting some bandages on these, they are relics of my bravery.’’ he said and you scowled at his stupidity.

‘’Are you crazy? They look bad as hell.’’

‘’No, they look cool.’’  

‘’You’re meeting me after whole one year and you’re already irking me.’’ You crooned with a pout.

‘’Oh please – fuck, I’ll do it - happy now’’ Yugyeom mumbled annoyed. He threw his one hand in air to stop you and folded them later.

‘’Yep, but what the fight was about?’’

‘’It was nothing.’’

‘’So you got furious over nothing and started whacking Jaebum’s ass off.’’ you snapped.

‘’n-no it w-wasn’t like that but uh…’’

‘’Jinyoung told me he joked and you got angry.’’ You uttered.

‘’What? He said that. That bastard.’’ he mumbled angrily clenching his jaw. It gave you a gist that jinyoung lied.

‘’Well yeah it was kind of like that I get angry easily.’’ he said. At that moment you suspected he isn’t going to tell you the truth so you didn’t push him further either.

‘’Yugyeom, yes you do get angry easily but you’ll have to control yourself. Try not to get angry, take others’ teasing as a joke.’’

‘’I can’t do that when they irk me.’’

‘’Well that’s exactly what they want. They want to earn a reaction from you, when you get mad they get contented that they have aced in their task.’’

‘’I know.’’ he screamed getting vexed by every passing second.

‘’So why do you still get into those fights?’’

‘’Because I don’t have control over me also what’s there to lose if I throw some fists, they deserve it.’’

‘’Its ruining your image, do you have any idea how people think of you? They think you’re deranged. They think of you as a mean of their entertainment and vex you because they are eager to earn a reaction from you, that’s how they beguile their time. And Jaebum is no exception, he is also like them.’’ you scolded him.

‘’I know that well but what I’ve got to lose if I get involved in some fights at most I’ll just get few bruises here and there but I throw more than I take, so everything’s paid for. Also did you see what I did with Jaebum’s face last night it swelled as hell’’ he retorted.

You looked at him incredulously with wide eyes and parted mouth. After all that you rambled for his brain, his ears had none of it. He was still on that bitchy, adamant side of his.

‘’What’s it costing you is your image, your health, your whole life. Your father’s always scolding you, people laugh at you, and professors hate you. What else do you need? Do you even have a real friend beside Jungkook.’’ you rambled for his ears only.

‘’I do have a lot of friends bambam, mingyu, eunwoo and more.’’

‘’ I mean a real friend.’’

‘’They are my real friends.’’ he snapped.

‘’Oh really, well if that’s the case then they would stop you from something that harms you instead of coaxing you to do it. I saw them coaxing you on drinking more than your capacity. I don’t think anyone except Jungkook actually cares about you in your whole circle.’’ you screamed.

‘’You’re eating my head off.’’ he shouted annoyed.

‘’Well then fine I’m not gonna say anything more but I’m warning you.’’ you said raising your hands in air in defeat. Yugyeom immediately softened when he saw you all tensed up because of him.

‘’Hey that’s not what I meant, I just thought we could spend some time together without talking about all of my life problems though I knew it well that you’ll start rebuking at me as soon as I come in touch with you.’’  

‘’Alright let’s talk about something else. So what do you wanna do for living’’ you asked.

‘’Well, I want to eat and sleep all day without any perturbance and watch all my favourite series. Hangout with all of my friends and…’’ he continued telling all his plans until you cut him.

‘’I meant about job.’’ you said.

‘’Oh!’’ he exclaimed surprised and continued ‘’Well for that I want to be an anthropologist.’’  

‘’Well, what’s anthropologist though?’’ you asked rhetorically though you knew the answer well. You had to test him, if he even knows meaning of what he’s saying.

‘’um – uh - it’s connected with research.’’ he said, completely blank minded.  

‘’But what kind of research exactly’’ you teased linking your both hands under your chin as your interest piqued to the peak of hill while pondering what his next words will be.

‘’Fine, you got me there I don’t know. I just heard it somewhere and thought it’s cool so spitted it out.’’ he shrugged.

‘’Anthropology is connected with history which my dear isn’t in your course.’’  

‘’So I’m your dear.’’ he teased back. In whole sentence what he noticed was the word ‘dear’. Rest all of it was inaudible and non sense for him which he heard from one ear and give off by another. You rolled your eyes in intimidation and he smirked catching you off-guard.

‘’It’s just a phrase and it kind of sounds reverential to ears.’’

‘’So, should I also start calling you love. I hope that sounds reverential too.’’ he smirked.

‘’Shut up but that’s not the point; the point is that you just spit out whatever you think and more than half of the times you don’t even know what it means.’’ you scolded.

‘’I told you, I thought it looks cool.’’ he blurted out pointing his index towards you.

‘’That means you don’t have any goal, right?’’ you stated as a matter of fact.

‘’Truth be told, no I don’t. I don’t know what I should, what’s right for me. People say do what you like; well I like to watch movies, hangouts and no work.’’

‘’Well, in that case. Let’s see what you’re good at.’’

‘’I’m only good at getting my ass in trouble’’ he spatted.

‘’I’m sure that’s not true.’’

‘’Concur or not that’s the fact and the fact is inevitable.’’

‘’Well that’s just a mere prejudice people believe and trust me, you are seeing yourself the same as what other sees you as.’’

‘’So, are you saying I’m not a troublemaker.’’ he said wiggling his brows, thinking deeply.

‘’I never said that though but what I mean is that everyone’s got potential in them. They just have to find it and same follows for you and oh weren’t you a great dancer, I still remember that you were best at it in high school.’’

‘’That’s years old.’’ he blurted as you were a stupid to even think of that.

‘’Maybe it is but if you sharpen your skills again I’m sure you’ll prowess the skill, your body is still enough pliant. Go and give it a try.’’

‘’I’ll think about it’’ he said. You smiled at his answer and absent minded checked your phone to realize you had only three minutes left with you ‘til your next class. Your mouth gaped apart and you instantly stood up stuffing your belongings in your purse.

‘’What’s wrong?’’ he asked.

‘’I’ve just three minutes to my class.’’ you said out of breath.

You were almost in your way to drift apart when he grasped your wrist making you halt dead in your tracks. You looked at him perplexed and waited to hear his words.  

‘’It was nice talking to you after such a long time albeit we didn’t talk much.’’ he simply cooed smiling.

He said it so easily like it was no big deal, like he could come whenever he want and talk to you and you’ll be there always to hear his stories which in point of fact you were.

You were always there even when he turned his back to you and you would always be there for him, no matter how big of a dickhead he is and he knew it better than anyone else. Which is why he had the guts to approach you today after what he did one year ago and last night?

You stood motionless on the ground and looked at only him forgetting about class, forgetting about the world. It was just a moment spared between you and him and a stupid class was nothing to stop you from, right?

Maybe no, for you the class was priority and glancing him with glossy eyes, having no word to share was stupidity.

You smiled at him delicately before excusing yourself but just when you were about to leave the café something in you burned making you double think about leaving, you might not want to admit it but you totally wanted to spend more time with him.

After a moment you carried on in your way, departing for your class. Little did you know Yugyeom saw you getting all gitterish about leaving but said nothing.  

You kept thinking of the conversation you had with Yugyeom in your mind the whole day and whole night. Hardly you spent twenty minutes with him and he again consumed your mind. The next day, you were leaving for class when you ran into Jungkook.  

‘’Can you give me some time?’’ he asked.

‘’I’ve class starting in five minutes.’’

‘’Actually, last night Yugyeom had an accident’’ he said. Your face went pale upon hearing his words and Jungkook saw it, he knew it that this will be the kind of reaction he would earn after sharing this news with you.

It wasn’t just Yugyeom who was close to you but Jungkook was also just as much close to you if not more. Even after you broke it with Yugyeom, you still stayed in touch with Jungkook.

He would always tell you everything about Yugyeom and you would always say that you don’t want to hear though secretly you always tantalized to see him, hear about him.

You left your class that day considering that it wasn’t more important than your close friend and old crush being in hospital.

‘’Funny it is, isn’t it’’ you snapped the minute you saw him in nurse’s bed.

‘’What?’’ Yugyeom asked.

‘’I see you after one year and guess where? First in police station and then in hospital bed.’’ You scolded causing Jungkook to laugh. He knew it you would say that.

‘’You forgot the café. We met there yesterday, remember.’’ He retorted.

‘’You guys met at café yesterday?’’ Jungkook asked.

‘’Yeah, and she gave me a piece of mind.’’ He said.

‘’Well, you needed it.’’ You deadpanned. ‘’By the way, how are you?’’ you asked.

‘’All good, injuries aren’t severe at all.’’ He shrugged nonchalantly.  

‘’how did you happen to admit here at first place?’’ you asked.

‘’Drunk- driving.’’ Jungkook cut in, you gasped when you heard it and glared Yugyeom with red burning eyes. ‘’Can you explain?’’ Jungkook demanded.

‘’I felt the urge to drink. So, I went to the nearby bar, had a few shots but when I was driving – when I was driving, sleep consumed the best of me and just in a moment it all happened. Luckily I was wearing seatbelt. I usually never wear, so it helped me from getting any serious injuries but I fainted because of the shock and ended up here.’’ He explained.

‘’You could’ve called me, dude. I would’ve come to pick you up.’’ Jungkook scolded.

‘’Bro, I didn’t have my phone with me. I forgot it at home’’

‘’You could’ve borrowed it from someone to call’’ you whined.

‘’It would be useless. Since, I know only three numbers and those are mine, my mom’s and dad’s.’’ he shrugged nonchalantly.

‘’Damn you.’’ Jungkook yelled more to himself.

‘’Can you just be a little bit responsible, just a little bit. I’m not expecting much from you but just a little; so, you don’t end up at places like this’’ you scolded more of like pleaded.

Concern inevitable in your voice as it broke with emotions and the boys could notice it clearly. Jungkook felt bad for you whereas Yugyeom wanted to punch himself hard ‘cause of resentment to pay the price of hurting you like that.  

‘’I’m sorry.’’ He said and he meant it.

You were just on edge of crying, your whole body running through adrenaline. Jungkook noticed immediately and wrapped his arms around you, rubbing and patting your back to soothe you. But it made you to sob instead.

‘’I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll be better. I’ll think twice before doing something.’’ Yugyeom announced sadly. You stopped crying and looked at him with expectant gaze.

‘’You sure?’’ you asked. He replayed his words in his mind and spoke again.

‘’I’ll try to think before doing something and I’ll be a bit responsible. A bit, please don’t expect much from me’’ he cooed making you and Jungkook laugh.

‘’Big move.’’ Jungkook teased.

You three sat their and talked for like two hours about absolutely ridiculous things. Your laughs resounded the room.

A hospital room which was supposed to be filled with gloominess was glistening with ecstasy, a scene rarely found in such a place. You were having the best time of your life until nurse announced visiting hours are over.

After two more days Yugyeom was discharged. Since he didn’t have any stern injury. Later then, you start spending more time with him. You would meet him in cafés in mornings and afternoons.

And much to your bliss he was improving really just as he said. He was actually attending classes, a whole new level of him. But part of him improving didn’t state he would downright stay out of trouble.

He would get in disputes but on a lesser extent. He would still drink recurrently though but not ‘til his body could hold no more, he was on his baby steps.  

But you being with him bothered Jinyoung to a great extent. He didn’t like seeing you with the infamous troublemaker of university and would constantly tell you to stay away from him but you would tell him that he means no harm. But that didn’t satiate him though. Even Jaebum who had nothing to do with it also had an aversion with the fact.

You wouldn’t usually go to parties now. You stopped it after last year’s horrible yet ‘impossible to forgive’ party. Yeah, you went to a few parties here and there and had a few shots but not like afore. But this time you had upright nothing to do and was bored on upmost level.

So, you grabbed the chance plus Yugyeom and Jungkook were coming too and Jinyoung and Jaebum wouldn’t be there to judge you either since they were out of town for two days. After glancing yourself in mirror after nth time you finally went out to make your way towards club.

As soon as you reached there your best girlfriends hugged you so tight you would rather die from oxygen loss.

‘’I really didn’t expect you here.’’ Chungha said grinning hardly from extensive joy.

‘’I wasn’t coming actually but legit had nothing to do so thought to socialize a bit.’’ You said.

‘’Doesn’t matter, you’re here.’’ She exclaimed.

‘’let loose and shit the life tonight.’’ Soojin said.

‘’How’re we going to do that though?’’ you asked.

‘’One, drink hard till you fall to floor – Two, come and dance with me till the sun comes out’’ Soojin said raising her fingers up in front of her face whenever explaining the points.  

You then immediately went to drink with your two besties and even played a game of drinking to test who got the best capacity.

The one who would chug down six shots of beer first would win and the winner was Chungha. You couldn’t believe your eyes when you saw her empty one shot by one without even breathing properly.

While you stopped drinking to see Chungha, Soojin the smart ass kept up with competition. So the result was Chungha first, Soojin second and you lost.  

Your punishment was to sexily dance on floor to whatever the song was playing, a task you were mastered to. You swayed your ass sexily and rocked your head too. Your hair flowing in free air. You stood out perfectly on the dance floor.

‘’Enjoying hard?’’ Yugyeom whispered in your ear smirking. His hand wrapped around your waist.

‘’After a long time.’’ you purred.

‘’See, it’s okay to let loose sometimes being that perfect always don’t bring you joy. It’s just pretentious to make a good impinge on others but it can be exhausting. Sometimes all you need is to fuck off your usual tactics and dance like nobody’s watching.’’ He cooed.

‘’Hmm but with care. Still don’t fuck off that much that you crash in a pole.’’ You said reminding him of his reckless act.

‘’You’re never going to let me forget it, right?’’ he cried tiredly.

‘’No. That’s my way to reminisce you of how dross your acts are sometimes.’’

‘’ ‘kay grandma I’m sorry but I’m improving ain’t I?’’

‘’First of all, you deserve a kick in your groin for calling me a grandma, you wanker. Second, yes you are improving.’’ you snapped causing him to chuckle at first part.

‘’Kick in my groin.’’ He demanded.

‘’Fuck you. You always catch only the derogatory part in any conversation. If I hand you a pouch and ask you to open the zip, you’ll be like ‘’open the zip, how dirty of you’’ even if I mean straight you always think dirty.’’ You scolded and he chuckled.

‘’Now I can’t control my racing filthy mind, can I. I remember once you said everyone thinks diversely and perceives unalike, so that’s my way.’’ he smirked.

‘’I think marijuana is rotting your brain.’’

‘’Hey, I don’t take them. I just tried them once. Don’t provoke me about that, please.’’  

‘’That’s how you become an addict. You take them once and wants to take them again and that’s how it’s becomes a habit, you don’t get holic at the first time.’’

‘’But I really took it only one time and that was long ago. I know that’s bad and I never took ‘em again.’’

‘’Why did you even take them?’’ you asked him out of curiosity while still dancing on the floor with your back attached to his front.

‘’Just wanted to see how it feels. After I got to know what I wanted to know I didn’t try again.’’ He said and you hummed resting your head on his chest.

‘’Y’know I think you should really let loose tonight before your little boytoy is back.’’ He said closely in your ear.

‘’I shouldn’t cheat him.’’ You whispered breathing heavily.

‘’Then end it with him, simple.’’

‘’No, Yugyeom. That’s not right. I love him.’’

‘’No you don’t.’’ he denied.

‘’Yes I do.’’ You cooed more of like reminded yourself that you are with Jinyoung.

Though Yugyeom was only touching your waist it was sending you shivers. Maybe because of his warm breath fanning on your neck. He barely touched you and you were already feeble.

‘’If you loved him, you wouldn’t be melting in my arms, baby.’’ He deadpanned. You shook your head and straighten up your back parting from him.

‘’Where you off to?’’ he asked.

‘’To get a drink.’’  

You then walked away from him. All you needed at that time was a good, hard liquor to forget what was forthcoming. You grabbed pox and estranged yourself from others for a while.

You went to terrace and gazed at night sky thinking about the moments spent with him. Just a few minutes you spent with him and he already got you twisted under his spell. Did he really had that big of an influence on you?

Meanwhile Yugyeom accompanied his group again. Though he tried his best to obliterate you by joining his friends in drunken splutters but his mind kept racing back and forth to you.  

He didn’t even know what the talk was about. He would just simply smile whenever someone mentioned his name and would revert back to his own fantasy.

His group filled with loud laughs and splatters while he was sitting silently in corner in his own world. And no one but Jungkook noticed that something’s off with him. Jungkook immediately stood up after noticing Yugyeom to not budge in at all.

‘’Lost in fantasy?’’ Jungkook asked rhetorically.

‘’I don’t know. It’s not some fantasy though it’s more of something that actually happened but I’m not sure if it’ll repeat so maybe it’s going to be fantasy from now.’’ Yugyeom answered honestly.

‘’It’s about her isn’t it?’’ Jungkook asked motioning about you.

‘’You know it dude, don’t ask me.’’ Yugyeom snapped.

‘’Something happened between you two, right?’’

‘’Something was about to happen but it can’t. I let go of the chance long time ago. There used to be strings which enticed to be tied and maybe they were close to knot together, forever but I cut them.’’

‘’Now all there left is broken strings which can never be tied again. I messed it all up Jungkook.’’ Yugyeom said poignantly facing him for the first time this night.    

‘’Make it up with her.’’ He said very calmly and optimistically like it was no big deal.

‘’I tried. I’m trying since I came in touch with her again but she won’t give in. She have that impeccable boyfriend. Why would she even come to me? The fact is that I can never stand with that wanker Jinyoung.’’ Yugyeom retorted.

‘’You broke her heart. It’s obvious she wouldn’t give in easily but that doesn’t mean she won’t allow you in her life again or that you can never be like Jinyoung. She used to like you before, you used to be her most important person. How can she wipe you out for some pretentious fuck? Trust me she dies for you just as much as you do for her. She’s just upset from past she can’t forget it easily, nobody can.’’  

‘’But I tried. I can’t make it work, I failed. She’s helping me to be a better person, isn’t that enough? I shouldn’t get my hopes up.’’ Yugyeom sneered pessimistically.

At that moment Jungkook knew he had to do something. Jungkook knew how both of you were enticed for each other but your stubbornness will always be the reason for failed ties. He loved his both friends too much, he couldn’t see them like this.

For the past hour you’ve been stargazing while thinking about Yugyeom. You never needed any souvenir from him to remember him to be honest. His memories would never escape your mind. You were so lost in his thoughts that you didn’t even notice that someone was standing next to you until his voice spoke up and brought you out of your reverie.

‘’It’s beautiful, right?’’ he spoke up bringing you out of your trance. You didn’t have to look at his way to see who it was, you recognized him and his voice all to well.

‘’It is. The most beautiful things are always found dark side.’’ You cooed looking at him.

‘’But not for all. Not all can see the beauty hidden underneath dark, it requires eagle eyes.’’ Jungkook snapped.

‘’Truer words had never been said.’’ You said.

‘’Don’t you feel scared when you see this sky?’’ he asked. You looked at him perplexed.

‘’No. Why?’’

‘’Well, some people do fear dark.’’ He said.

‘’What you mean?’’

‘’The sky is so dark, it even spreads its darkness everywhere. We always indicates darkness as terrifying and forlorn, am I correct? And day as beautiful and ecstatic.’’

‘’But just think about it would there be dawn if there was no dusk. Means the most beautiful things comes out of ugliest things. We just can’t see the beauty down in the dumps.’’ Jungkook said.

‘’Beautiful things seems pretty but hides their sourness while things which we say ugly just shows their reality without any trepidation of precedent. Which is why, trusting scars is better than fake beauty.’’ You articulated.

‘’Dark skies displays beautiful stars which some ignores while some sees fondly. It means that some people avoids forte because of flaws while some sees those forte and think about how to turn their flaws into one of them.’’

‘’What’s the points of saying all of it?’’ you asked.

‘’Tell me something honestly. Are you happy?’’ he asked. You thought about it for a moment before speaking up.

‘’I don’t know.’’ You said honestly.

‘’Yugyeom. It’s all because of him, isn’t it? He have turned your world upside down, am I right?’’ He asked.

‘’Jungkook, I swear you always know everything.’’ You said.

‘’He hurt you at first and you’re afraid he’ll repeat it which is why you don’t want to give him any chance again but secretly you always love the time spent with him. You know what, in your case the forte is that you both adores and love each exceedingly and every second spent within; no matter how hard you push each other you always find your way back.’’

‘’And the flaw is that you both are afraid that it’ll ruin again and that’s why don’t even want to try. And you both see it but don’t want to work on it because of insecurities. Throw caution to the wind. Don’t blow away the opportunity.’’ Jungkook explained.

You replayed his words in your mind considering intensely every word. What hurt the most was that every thing he said was true.

There was no point declining that you weren’t in love with Jinyoung but pushed yourself and always ruminated that one day, just one day you’ll like him same as Yugyeom.

You knew it that you fell head over heels for him once again but couldn’t stop yourself. Though you admitted it all to yourself but you didn’t want to admit it to him right now. You wanted some more time.

‘’I’m gonna think about it.’’ You said to Jungkook and went straight to home. It was too much adrenaline for one day.

For the next whole week you ignored Yugyeom as much as you could. You didn’t go to café and meet him like usually you would do.

You needed some time before making any decision and your decision basically was how to coax jinyoung about breakup without any suspicion of infidelity. Also you didn’t want to take any risk of ruining what you created by so far.  

Getting late for your class then running the life out of you to hop in at time was you usual, new habit these days. Just like every other time you were late again and was running from hallways and corridors you’ve never been to, in hope of finding a shortcut. Suddenly you bumped in someone, your head colliding in someone’s hard, burly chest.

‘’Ouch!’’ you exclaimed. ‘’I’m so sor…’’ you were about to apologize but your voice got caught at the back of your throat upon seeing the face you were running from past week.

‘’You okay?’’ Yugyeom asked.

‘’I am.’’ You assured.

‘’Why are you ignoring me?’’

‘’I’m not.’’

‘’Yes, you are.’’

‘’I’m not. I was just busy just like now, I’m running out of time for my class. I’ll catch up with you later.’’ You cooed moving to side to get past him but he grasped your arms holding you in place.

‘’I want to talk.’’ Yugyeom sneered.

‘’I don’t have time right now, later.’’

‘’No. I wanna talk right now.’’ He said but you freed yourself from his clutch.

‘’My class is important. I’m sorry. I’ll catch with you later and then listen to whatever you want to say.’’ You said running.

You were too stubborn but he wasn’t any less from you. He trailed from behind, chasing you. You were hastily running in a corridor you never knew exist.

Okay, so now you were lost and it was better to accept it. You groaned in frustration; tapping your foot while whining.

‘’Where the hell did you brought me?’’  He snapped more to himself.

‘’I never told you to follow me.’’ You pursed.

‘’That means that you don’t even know which place is this, am I right?’’ He asked and you rolled your eyes sulkily knowing that he wasn’t wrong. ‘’Fuck you’’ he snapped.

You heard a scream from the other end where the corridor ended and opened up two more partings.

‘’What the hell was that now. You’ve brought to me to a haunted hallway.’’ he sneered.

‘’Stop weeping like a kid, let me check.’’ You said.

You moved to where the scream was heard and your face went pale after seeing the sight in front, like blood just drained out of your body.

Shortly after Yugyeom came too and same was kinda his situation. He stared with wide eyes like his eyes would fall out any time. Just in front, your boyfriend Park Jinyoung penetrating his cock in some girl.

‘’What the fuck.’’ Yugyeom said grinning. He couldn’t help his big smile after seeing it. Now it would be much easier to win over you after chasing out the only, biggest obstacle.

Jinyoung and the girl glanced over you. Jinyoung’s face all went pale after seeing you.

‘’Baby.’’ Jinyoung said.

‘’Don’t you ever fuckin’ call me that or I’m gonna cut your tongue and shove it in your ass.’’ You said through gritted teeth.

If Yugyeom loved you. Now, after hearing you curse like a professional motherfucker he loved you even more. His teachings were really worthwhile. He felt so proud after hearing you curse like that.

‘’Let me explain.’’ He said parting from the girl. He fixed his clothes and took steps towards you. That girl fixed her clothes too and ran away considering there is going to be a big dispute now.

‘’Explain what that you’re off getting your dick wet by some whore you just met.’’ You said sarcastically.

‘’Oh that’s rhyming.’’ Yugyeom crooned more to himself tilting his head and replaying the exact words but none of you paid any attention to him.

‘’You’re the one to talk.’’ Jinyoung snapped.

‘’What the fuck you mean?’’ you snapped raising your voice.

‘’You exactly know the shit I’m talkin’ about.’’ He scorned grimacing at Yugyeom.

‘’Don’t you fuckin’ drag me in this shit if you don’t want me to kick yo’ ass.’’ Yugyeom spoke up.

‘’Back off, douchebag.’’ Jinyoung jeered.

‘’Don’t drag him in it.’’ You snickered.

‘’Oh, feelin’ too bad that I’m mocking your little boy. You’re accusing me of infidelity like you were very honest with me.’’

‘’I never touched any other man all the while I was with you.’’ You sniggered.

‘’Why this little cunt is always with you then, huh. You think I don’t know about your past relationship with this crazy twat.’’ Jinyoung said more of like screamed on you but you also stood your ground. But Yugyeom couldn’t, he punched him right on his left cheekbone.

‘’Don’t you fuckin call me that.’’ Yugyeom shouted throwing another punch.

‘’Yugyeom, stop it.’’ You said to him holding his arm in attempt for him drop it.

‘’And you.’’ You said facing jinyoung. ‘’You hurt me but I think I hurt you too though I never cheat on you. But still I think you felt bad seeing me with my former crush and we can’t keep hurting each other so it’s better for us to separate’’ You said hugging him before bidding goodbyes.

Jinyoung wasn’t that bad of an experience though. Come to know him was fun, it was him who turned your flaws into fortes. You were no less of a trouble unlike Yugyeom but with his guidance you perked up so much fetching up to become a scholar.

After than night when you cut your ties with Yugyeom he was the one who helped you getting a hold on yourself. Albeit you felt bad seeing him cheat on you but not furious because you knew it too that you used him to get over Yugyeom and you fell for Yugyeom all head over heels again.

Next year

The icy winter gust blowed through the large windows passing by curtains making you shudder with cold. You crept closer to frame sleeping behind you for some heat. Your bare chest ramming to his.

‘’What’s good, baby?’’ Yugyeom crooned.

‘’I thought you were sleeping.’’ You cooed looking up at him.

‘’Then, you thought wrong.’’ He said. You buried your face in his chest wrapping your arm around his waist.

‘’Wanna go at it again?” he sneered rubbing your lower back.

‘’It’s already frosting and your hands are cold per se. Keep them away from me.’’ You sniggered and he chuckled.

‘’Shall I warm you up?’’ he murmured.

‘’After the whole night’s foreplay you still want more, huh?” you asked.

‘’I never seem to get enough of you.’’ He droned getting atop of you.

He closed the distance between you by pressing his lips on yours. You caught with him snaking your arms around his neck. Your one hand travelled in his thick, sot hair grabbing a fistful of ‘em.

His tongue licked on your lower lip begging for entrance. You opened your mouth and he shoved his tongue in your mouth massaging yours. He explored your mouth, every corner of it. His hand meandered down your waist and pulled you up, your body pressed flushed against his.

Parting from your mouth he pressed kisses on your jaw coming down to your neck. He sucked and nibbled at your neck earning a sensual moan from you.

After kissing every crook of your neck he kept coming down pecking on your chest, he kissed on valley of your breasts before kneading on one and sucking on other.

By now you were a complete moaning mess and fuckin wet. After toying with your breasts he kissed your lips again, this time more rough, full of passion and you showed same energy. You hooked your legs on his waist, core throbbing with need.

‘’Yugyeom, please.’’ You whispered.

‘’Say that you want me.’’ He smirked.

‘’I want your cock to fuck me so hard ‘til I can’t walk. Please daddy.’’ You crooned. You knew it too well how to please him. He wasn’t the only one who knew everything about you, you knew just as much as he knew you.

‘’Good girl.’’ He smirked.

He thrusted his length in your core none too gently. You moaned his name loudly at that. He pumped in you roughly before coming out and thrusting it back.

‘’You’re so wet that I can easily enter in you, baby.’’ He whispered.

He sucked at your crook of your neck and rubbed your clit, perpetually thrusting in you. He set your whole body on fire, the frosting winter fading away. The atmosphere getting too hot. Your body perspiring from heat.

Your heat scalding, burning him for good. His paces getting faster and faster by every second and you felt your end near. Your cunt clenched around him, you bit your nails in his arm as the pain in your core heightened too much.

Soon, the pain became too much to endure and vanished the next second when you reached your zenith. Your cum milked his cock from top to bottom. He choked you roughly when he was close cutting your oxygen.

You took deep breaths and scratched your nails on his back. He came undone in you and removed his hand strangling your throat collapsing at your side. He looked at you lovingly and smiled sweetly.

‘’Warm enough?’’ he asked.

‘’hmm, maybe but I can get cold later.’’ You said with a pout.

‘’Then I’ll warm you again.’’ He said pecking your lips.

‘’Can I ask you something.’’ You cooed.

‘’Anything.’’ He assured.

‘’You never told me what that fight was about with Jaebum, tell me now.’’ You pursed.

‘’I was talking about you to Mingyu and Jaebum heard it. He didn’t want his friend getting betrayed so he warned me. And I challenged him by saying stop me if you can. And he punched me and that’s how the story began and you know how the story ended.’’

‘’What were you talking about me though?’’ You asked out of curiosity.

‘’That I love you.’’ He whispered making you blush, he smiled upon seeing your red cheeks.

‘’I love you too.’’ You crooned kissing him on his cheek.

Confessing your love now was no hassle like it used to be before. You knew it that now he’s yours and you’re his. After never ending tragedies the strings which died to be tied were knot together for now and for ever. He was yours and you were his

[machine-gun-casie]

Co-Stars

request: Hey cutie! I love your writing and i was wondering if you could write a Pete imagine where he and the reader are in a movie together where they play a couple and he falls in love with her. Pretty please! ♡♡

wc: 2.6k

a/n: i made her the love interest for the king of staten island cuz i just watched the movie and its so good!! but dw no spoilers

You walked onto set with your iced coffee in hand and your earbuds blasting music in your ears. The set for this movie was probably the most fun and relaxing set you’ve ever been on. Except when Marisa Tomei or Steve Buscemi was there. It was only intimidating to you because of how new you were to the acting scene and how iconic they were.

But you had almost no scenes with them, all of your scenes were with Pete for the most part. Technically, you didn’t even need to come on set today. You just couldn’t stop yourself.

“Hey!” Maude called out to you when she saw you, motioning for you to come over. “Didn’t think you were needed on set today.”

“Oh, I’m not.” You replied and shrugged. “But I’ve got nothing better to do.”

“Really?” Maude raised her eyebrows at you. “You’re staying in New York City and you took the free ferry ride to Staten Island? Because you had nothing to do. In New York fucking City?!”

You furrowed your eyes and looked up in thought. “Well, when you phrase it like that…”

“y/n, it’s gonna sound weird no matter how I phrase it.” Maude chuckled.

You shoved her shoulder lightly and laughed with her as you explained. “I have no friends here, I have no one to hangout with.”

“Mhm, okay.” Maude teased you. “So we’re gonna pretend this isn’t about you-”

“Shut the fuck up Maude.” You hissed. “Shut up or I’ll tell your dad.”

“Tell her dad what?” Judd asked from behind you. You jumped slightly as you turned to face him as Maude snickered next to you. “Why’re you on set, y/n? We don’t need you today.”

“Because y/n has a crush on Pete.” Maude sang like she was teasing you on the school playground. 

“Maude!” You snapped at her. “He could hear!”

Judd laughed and shook his head. “Don’t worry, he’s filming.”

“In the firehouse?” You asked and your eyes lit up when Judd nodded. “Thanks Judd!” You yelled as you ran off to the front doors of the firehouse. 

“They really think they’re hiding it?” He asked his daughter.

“I think so.” She nodded, joining her dad in watching you run up the stairs. “If they’re not together by the time we wrap, I might strangle one of them.”

“Not if I do it first.”

You smiled and waved at the firefighters in the station today. Because the firehouse that was being used was still a functional one, the actors and the firefighters all became pretty well acquainted. You skipped over to the back room where you could hear them filming.

Bill and Pete were sitting at the table in front of the camera. You stood over by the sound guys and just watched them play out the scene. 

“What take is this?” You whispered to the closest person to you.

“Fourth.” They replied. “I think we got it, though. Fingers crossed we take fifteen after this.”

You nodded and leaned back to enjoy the show. Your favorite scenes to watch were when Pete and Bill were bickering. It was so clear that they both enjoyed it because they could improvise some jabs at each other. You noticed that Pete absolutely adored including the handlebar moustache during these scenes.

“Cut!” Someone called out. “Everyone take lunch!”

Pete looked around and made eye contact with you when the camera cut, smiling when he saw you. He turned to Bill and said a few parting words before coming up to you.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” He asked, leaning his shoulder against the wall to face you. “You don’t have any scenes today.”

“I don’t.” You nodded. “Came to see you.”

“You just can’t get enough of me, can you?” Pete smirked.

You rolled your eyes and turned slightly. “I’ll fucking leave, Pete.”

“Hey, no no no!” Pete stumbled over his words as he grabbed your arm. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Thank you for coming all the way out here for me. I am very very grateful.”

His hold on your arm slowly slid until he was holding onto your fingers, you curled your fingers into his and held his hand loosely. “You better be.” You scoffed. “Come on, let’s go grab lunch.” You gently pulled on your intertwined hands and led him out of the back room towards the front.

“Where do you wanna go?” Pete asked as his steps fell in tandem with yours. 

“You’re the local, you decide.” You looked up at him and swung your conjoined hands lightly in between you. “Surprise me.”

“Oh, so we’re doing romantic type shit now?” Pete laughed, raising his eyebrows at you. 

“Romantic type shit is my favorite, you know this.” You giggled, smiling and playing along. This little act you had going on was strange but somehow comforting. You would go on these ‘dates’ that were never called dates. And neither of you would discuss the logistics. But you both knew. And that’s what was comforting. There was no lying or hiding, just collective evading.

“I’ll take you to this place Casey and I would go to when we were kids.” He paused when he opened the door and motioned for you to go first. You walked down the stairs together and started walking along the sidewalk. “The owner knew my dad, so he used to give us free ice cream sometimes.”

“You think we can get some free ice cream today?” You asked, somewhat joking but also. Free ice cream.

“Not sure, but if he sees you we might.” Pete laughed and shook his head. “Last time I took a date there was during junior year. You should’ve seen his face, he was so fucking happy for me.”

“Junior year Pete was getting laid, huh?” You asked teasingly.

“Pfft, he fucking wishes.” He snorted. “Junior year Pete would pass out if he was here in my shoes right now.”

“I bet he would.” You hummed. “This movie is insane.”

“Not what I was talking about.” Pete said with a tight lipped smile on his face. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, looking at him for an answer. He simply looked down at your interlaced hands.

“Oh.” You smiled shyly, warmth blooming in your chest. “I thought the sappy stuff was my department?”

“I can contribute.” He shrugged as he came to a stop at a crosswalk. “It’s that one over there.” He pointed to the classic pizzeria looking joint right across from you.

“Thank god, I’m starving.” You sighed, stomach rumbling at the thought of food of any kind. 

You walked in and followed Pete as he led you to the booth in the back corner. You peaked behind you to look through the windows at the front and saw what Pete no doubt took notice of before you. A guy with a camera up to his face was on the sidewalk adjacent to the one you and Pete were walking on. Lovely.

The paps were a problem you weren’t expecting to face in Staten Island, but Pete warned you otherwise. They were a hindrance on set, but they were even worse off set. A few times you were followed when you would go to get food on your own or you were heading home for the night. Pete promised you to always accompany you whenever he could after that, not wanting you to deal with the paps alone.

Cozying up in the corner booth, you were almost sure they couldn’t see you from outside. You let out a sigh of relief and leaned back, letting your shoes bump into Pete’s. “So, what’s good here?”

“They’ve got this eggplant tower thing that barely tastes like eggplants. It’s crazy good.” Pete told you, hands going up to show you how big it would be. “Should be good for both of us.”

“Great, we’ll take that then.” You smiled and nodded, glad to not have the anxiety of looking over a menu for the first time and take forever to read through it only to end up with a cheese pizza or something basic like that. 

After flagging down a waiter in the semi busy restaurant and ordering the food, Pete dropped his arms onto the table and looked over at you. “Maude give you shit today?”

“I think she writes it down in her schedule.” You replied and laughed. “I think she means well, though.”

“She’s like my real little sister now.” Pete nodded as he spread open his palm next to your hand on the table. “Her and Casey have joined forces.”

Lifting your hand gently, you traced the lines on his palms with your fingers. “How is Casey? She excited to shoot next week?”

“Yeah, yeah. She’s a little nervous.” Pete replied as he held your hand in his, trapping your tracing fingers in between his. “She’s going back and forth on whether she wants to come or not.”

“No, she should come!” You said, whining at the thought of losing that scene in the movie. “She’s gonna be great. Did you tell her that she’s my favorite character in the movie?”

Sighing, Pete rolled his eyes and nodded. “I did and she won’t shut up about it.”

Lunch included lots of jokes and laughter, with your hand in his the whole time. Neither of you said anything about the hands, or the fact that you trapped one of his legs in between yours under the table. No lying or hiding, just collective evading. 

Both of you only managed to eat half of the truly gigantic eggplant tower, so you decided to have it packed up for later. You called over a waiter, a different one this time who seemed to be a teenager by the looks of it, who clearly recognized you or at least Pete. They quickly nodded and smiled, taking the plate of food from your table and the empty glasses. You saw them skitter off and whisper to one of their colleagues along the way, no doubt telling them that you were here.

“I think we’ve been caught.” You whispered to Pete. He looked over to where you were facing and sighed.

“I think we have.” Pete chuckled. “Watch, Andy’s gonna come out any minute now.”

Exactly as Pete predicted, a tall man with a huge grin on his face came out from the back. He marched over to your table with open arms. “Peter! It’s been so long, young man!”

Pete stood up and gave the man a hug. “Hey Andy, how are you?”

Andy pulled away and gave Pete a heavy pat on the shoulder. “I ain’t any younger pal, I can tell you that.” He said with the heaviest New York accent you’ve ever heard. He sneaked a few glances at you as he spoke, clearly curious. “Who’s your friend, Peter?”

Pete’s cheeks grew a little red as he cleared his throat. “Andy, this is y/n. She’s my co-star in this movie we’re shooting.”

“Co-star? Is that what they’re calling it nowadays?” Andy mumbled as he turned to look at you as you stood up to face him. “Is he treating you good?”

You laughed and nodded. “Of course he is, Pete’s a great guy. You should know, Pete says you’ve known each other since he was a kid.”

“I have, I have. Used to give him free ice cream. I bet he didn’t tell you that.” Andy pointed at Pete accusingly. 

“He did, actually.” You hummed. 

“Good, ‘cause you’re getting some today too.” Andy nodded before turning to face the kitchen. “Sammy! Get me two ice cream cones, mixed!”

“No, that’s alright-” You started before Andy interrupted you. 

“It’s my treat, kid.” Andy said with a kind smile. “For Pete and his co-star.”

With your ice cream cones and bag of leftover food in hand, you and Pete said your goodbyes to Andy as you left the restaurant. You kept close to Pete as you walked down the sidewalk, the same pap from earlier could be seen in the corner of your eye. But he didn’t seem to be following you, so you calmed down slightly. 

“Holy shit!” You gasped when it hit you, eyes wide. “We’re late! I didn’t even feel the time.”

Pete glanced at his watch and saw that it had been way more than fifteen minutes. You had been off set for almost forty minutes at this point. He looked at you and you both paused for a second before bursting into laughter. He shrugged with a frown. “Oh well.”

You continued your stroll in a comfortable silence as you both finished your ice cream. You spotted a little playground hidden behind a few trees as you popped the last bit of the crunchy cone in your mouth. “Look Pete, swings.” You pointed.

“You wanna go on the swings?” He asked and you nodded. “You’re not worried about Judd on set?”

“What set?” You asked with faux confusion. “I wasn’t called on set today.” Pete laughed as he let you pull him towards the swings.

Neither of you were swinging really, your younger self would have been disappointed at your lack of enthusiasm. You were both just swaying next to each other, holding the two chains in between you to keep yourself from swaying too far away. 

“Isn’t it weird how normal people don’t have to make things official?” Pete asked all of a sudden. “With relationships, I mean. If they figure that shit out with each other, that’s it. They don’t need to post something stupid on Instagram or whatever.”

“I guess, yeah.” You nodded. “But who do you consider to be not normal?”

“Us.” He said, eyes downcast at the bag of food he put on the ground between the swings.

You paused to articulate your thoughts. “We don’t have to do anything if we don’t want to. Fuck Instagram. We are normal people.”

Pete laughed at your tone, defensive but not against him. “We are.”

This time you looked down at the ground and avoided Pete’s gaze. “Is this… Is this about us? You and me?”

Pete didn’t answer. His silence on this topic has never scared you until now. Was he thinking of being serious with you? Or the opposite? Was this his messed up way of letting you down slowly? The collective evading was no longer comforting but frightening. Was he just playing around with your feelings while you thought it was a slow start to something you didn’t know you wanted?

“I think I’m in love with you.” 

With wide eyes you looked back up at Pete, seeing the anxiousness in his eyes. “What?” You asked softly.

“I-I wasn’t sure, but then I was talking to-” You cut him off with a kiss, pulling his swing closer to yours and placing a hand on his cheek. He moaned lightly into the kiss and placed his hand on your waist, turning your swing to face him properly.

You pulled away slowly and sighed. “I think I’m in love with you, too.”

That was your first kiss with Pete. The thought made you laugh. “What’s funny?” He asked.

“That was our first kiss.” You said and he nodded. “So you’re saying that you fell in love with me before we even kissed?”

“Yes?” Pete furrowed his eyebrows. “Is that a bad thing?”

“Not necessarily, no.” You shook your head. “But what if I was a bad kisser?”

Pete clicked his tongue and pulled away with a laugh. “You’re not a bad kisser.”

“But what if I was?” You retorted, giggling. “Would you still love me if I was a bad kisser?”

“First of all, yes.” Pete pointed out. “Second, you wouldn’t be a bad kisser.”

“But what if I was?” You repeated.

“We would have lots and lots of practice.”

[jimlingss]

Sugar and Coffee [16]

Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17

➜ Words: 3k

➜ Genres: 99.5% Fluff, 0.5% Angst, Pâtisserie school!AU

➜ Summary: It isn't hard to be a pâtisserie chef, but it's not a piece of cake either. It seems like for you in particular, life keeps throwing in one wrench after another. It always finds ways to make your sweets bitter. The cherry on top is Jeon Jungkook — a rival with a sensitive sweet tooth who always finds ways to complain about you.

cr.

On Wednesday, you begin to bake, cut, and fill.   The ingredients are pulled from the borrowed kitchen — eggs, butter, buttermilk, vegetable oil, sugar, flour, baking powder, unsweetened cocoa powder, and vanilla. The oven is preheated to three hundred degrees fahrenheit and the round pans are greased. The four of you measure and mix together the dry ingredients, and then the wet ingredients.    Once it’s all ready, it’s baked while the ganache filling is worked on. Heavy cream, butter, chocolate, and a pinch of kosher salt are melted together with two tablespoons of brewed coffee to deepen the flavour. It cools and thickens, a fluffy texture that melts against your palate.    And when the moist cake is out of the oven, it cools too before being cut and filled.   “Alright, folks.” Namjoon dusts his hands off, shutting the fridge door. “Now on Friday, we just cover, dowel, and stack. Since the wedding is on Saturday, we want it to sleep overnight.”   “We’re going to have to prepare decorations tomorrow,” Sejeong says. If there was anyone’s cake that she wanted to perfect, it was her own sister’s. “Crumb coat the cakes and smooth the frosting, colour the fondants, make the flowers. Just so we can get it prepared in time and not be rushing on the last day.”    “Okay.” You offer a smile. “Are we still going with lavender?”   “That’s the plan. But we can worry about that tomorrow. How have you two been? Any problems?”   You glance at Jungkook, meeting his eye, but you divert hastily. “N-No, we’re fine. We’ve been enjoying ourselves. Thank you for bringing us along.”   “That’s not a problem.” Namjoon laughs heartily, practically glowing with a healthy tan. “We’re happy to have two more sets of hands. God knows the wedding is hectic and stressful enough, right, honey?”   “Chungha is having it tougher.” His wife sighs. “We’re just glad to get this done and over with.”   In between family feuds and relatives duking it out, you don’t need to tell them that you and Jungkook are incidentally sharing the same room over a mistake in booking. They have enough on their plates as it is.   But just because you don’t talk about your issues doesn’t mean that they’ve magically vanished.   Even if you wish that were the case.   “Morni—”   The moment you open your sleepy eyes, Jeon Jungkook has manifested in the mirror. You choke on your toothpaste, toothbrush sucked into your throat like a vacuum, lodged in. You choke it out and sputter.    Jungkook’s shocked awake, eyes widened as he pats your back.   You cough and rinse your mouth. “Oh my god. You scared me to death!”   “All I said was good morning!” He shoots you a look, leaning in too close with his still sleepy demeanour, fluffed hair and swollen face. “Are you alright?”   “Obviously not! I almost died!”   You’re not okay. Very far from any semblance of ‘okay’.   For one, you can’t look the bastard in the eye. You can’t stop yourself from perspiring. It’s as if your best friend is someone worthy to be fearful of…   No. It’s not that you’ve become afraid of Jungkook. You’re nervous.   “I’m going to shower.”   “Sounds good.”   It shouldn’t be surprising. He even warned you. But the moment Jungkook starts to strip off his shirt, you’re caught off guard at how he didn’t wait for you to leave ⁠— how comfortable he is with you. You have half a mind left to sprint out of the bathroom. Nearly falling over. Barely catching your stumble.    Jungkook watches with his brows raised incredulously.   The bathroom door eventually shuts and you change as quick as you can, and run out of the room without a word. Like you’re being chased by loan sharks.   “Hey, Y/N.” After ten minutes, Jungkook comes out topless, having forgotten to grab a shirt. But he pays no mind, toweling off his head. “We should get room servi—…...Y/N?”   The doe-eyed boy looks around, realizing that you’re gone.   You’ve headed across the resort to the restaurant for breakfast. Finally, you’re able to have a meal in peace without having to lift your head to see a big nose and brown, doe eyes.    You grab a healthy serving of eggs, toast and cereal. And you pick a good table to look out and enjoy the view.   But fifteen minutes into your meal, someone suddenly plops down across from you.   You’re startled to death again.   “I can’t believe you ditched me.”   “S-Sorry…” You look away. “I was too hungry to wait.”   “Could’ve told me at least. I would’ve hurried up.” He spreads cream cheese on his bagel, ruffled mop of hair flopping as he moves. He’s dressed like a true tourist again, this time with a hawaiian shirt that’s bright orange with blue florals all over it.   Jungkook’s eyes are round and buggy as he bites down and he hums in satisfaction at the taste. “So what are our plans for today? It’s the only full day we have left before we have to work on the cake.”   “I don’t know.” You stand up. “I finished. Should go back to the room. I have a stomach ache.”   “Really?” His left cheek is puffed out with food stored inside. “But I just got here.”   “Nature calls.” You run off, leaving your best friend in the dust.   It’s horrible being stuck on an island with Jeon Jungkook.    No matter where you run or how you hide, he’s always there.   “How was the—”   You scream.   “—bathroom trip.” Jungkook looks at you, brows furrowed deep.   “You scared me!” You put your hand over your heart where it’s pounding hard, threatening to jump out of your chest.   “But I didn’t do anything,” he defends, mouth drawing open as he gestures around, perplexed at how you could be frightened in broad daylight, in the middle of the day, with this many people around. “Are you sure you’re okay?”   “I’m fine. H-how’d you even find me?!”   “I don’t know, I was just heading back to the room. The resort isn’t that big.” He shrugs and finally is able to get a good look at you. Jungkook slowly smiles at your one-piece swimsuit. “Are you going in for a dip? I can join.”   The thought of Jungkook ripping off his shirt, jumping into the pool and getting all wet with you has your knees weak. It’s not a healthy idea.    “No. Changed my mind. It’s kind of….cold out for a swim. I’m probably going to go back inside to change.”   “Y/N. It’s hot. It’s like a hundred degrees out here.”   You muster stiff laughter. “Well I’m feeling a bit chilly. Gonna go back and change. See ya!”   You sprint off again, in a completely disoriented manner. Jungkook shouts your name when you nearly slip on a puddle of water by the poolside and almost crack your head open. But luckily, you catch yourself and throw him a half-hearted smile and an exaggerated wave goodbye.    Part of you wishes you would’ve just fallen into the pool or hit your head. Maybe it would finally knock some sense into your brain.   There’s no reason for you to be so nervous around him. This is Jeon Jungkook you’re talking about — IU fanboy, the biggest nerd of the universe, officially the worst flirt on this planet.   There’s absolutely no reason for your stomach to flip. For you to be unable to retain eye contact with your friend. For you to suddenly be so self-aware and conscious of him that you feel nervous when he’s around and nervous when he’s not. There’s no reason whatsoever…   “You need to get your head straight.”   You’re muttering to yourself as you walk. You probably look crazy, but need to hear it out loud. If no one’s going to help you by saying it, then you’ll say it yourself. “Focus, Y/N. Focus—”   A blood-curdling shriek tears from your stomach when there’s suddenly knocking. You turn to see Jeon Jungkook beside you, separated by a window, but laughing hysterically at your reaction. His nose is scrunched, mouth drawn up into that boyish smile of his.   He’s inside the fitness center in a white tank top, sweating enough to make his hair damp, and the dark stands are pushed back against his head. That little shit is scaring you on purpose now.   “Are you shitting me, Jeon Jungkook?!” Your fist pounds against the glass and you fail to notice how everyone else in the gym is whirling their heads around at the noise.   The resort attendant runs up on you.   “Ma’am, please don’t bang on the glass.”   “S-sorry.”   Jungkook is in bigger hysterics now, bent over and grabbing his stomach, laughing loud enough for you to hear through the window. His smile is excited, eyes lit up.   Everywhere. Every corner you turn to. Every path you take. Some way or another — whether you’re talking to Namjoon or Chungha, hanging at the bar, around the pool, on the beach to watch the waves — no matter how hard you try to evade him, Jungkook is always there.   You didn’t know it would be so hard to avoid him. He’s truly like the plague.   Or maybe a curse.    Better yet, it would be more fitting to call Jeon Jungkook the year-round Christmas grinch. He’s here to ruin your life, ruin your holiday, and make your head filled with him and only him.   “You’re not avoiding me, are you?”   He finally asks after crawling into bed beside you that night. His hands are folded on top of his midsection and he’s staring up at the ceiling even if he can’t see when the entire room is drowned in a comfortable darkness.   You muster some laughter. “Don’t be ridiculous.”   The sheets shift and from the little light coming through the terrace glass doors, you can see him looking at you. And you can feel his body warmth with the small distance. “I would hate it if you were a hypocrite since you don’t like when others ghost you.”   “I said I’m not,” you whine. The lie gives a tickle of guilt in your gut. “You shouldn’t accuse people after they’ve already defended themselves.”   “Okay.” The corners of his lips quirk. “Just making sure. I don’t want to scare you off.”   You scoff, eyes adjusting enough to be able to look at him. It’s quiet, with him beside you underneath the covers, too close but too far. Yet somehow, in spite of the silence of your room, it’s still very noisy inside your head. “You really think you’re going to get rid of me that easily?”   “No. And I’m glad for that. I wouldn’t want to lose you.” Jungkook grins and he teases, “You’re not a coward, Y/N. Right?”   “Psh. Go to bed, Jeon.”   “Hmm, I’m not tired, but I do know an activity we can do together that’ll tire me right out.”   “Yeah, my fist meeting your face.”   He laughs and you roll over, tugging the covers up to your chin.   You don’t say out loud, don’t admit it, but you are a coward.    One big coward who pretends to face the truth with courage, but actually learnt to run and hide in the face of trouble. A coward who can’t face the music, who’s actually wide awake like he is, but won’t say it. Whose heart is stuttering too loud to try to slip underneath the seduction of slumber.    You won’t admit the funny feeling you get when your gaze sets upon Jungkook. You won’t acknowledge it even when it’s screaming into your ear drums and drumming against your rib cage. You won’t confess that the nervousness you feel is far from platonic.   It’s hard not to feel stuck on Jungkook. These days, the last person you see before you sleep is him and he’s the first person you see when you wake up. He’s both the beginning and the end.   “Hey, Y/N.” You’re stirred away by a soft voice calling to you. “Wake up.”   When your lids peel back, you see him. The strands of his black hair nearly tickle the skin of your cheeks and he smiles tenderly at you. “We have a long day. Come on.”   You’re a coward and you have been for some time now.   //   Friday is the busiest day of the week. It’s the eve of the wedding and where you’re in the kitchen for hours on end.   Between the four of you, the lilac-coloured fondant is rolled out to cover the chocolate cake and ganache frosting. The dowel rods are inserted and the cake is stacked. Once it’s to Sejeong’s satisfaction, the decorating process begins. The sugar lavender that you made yesterday is used, placed delicately in the correct positions and you work on tracing a lace pattern on the bottom most layer.   Hours later, with muscles sore and eyes stinging, she’s finally satisfied.   It ends up looking magnificent. All the effort is presented in front of you — the cake is a soft purple colour, lavender flowers made from gum paste and real lilacs edible.   “It’s too pretty to eat.”   “It always is.” Sejeong smiles. “But when we do, it’ll be delicious.”   Namjoon stretches his arms over his head, making noises as his bones crack. “I’m starving. What time is it?” He checks his watch. “I think the snack bar is still open. We should go eat now since we have to wake up bright and early tomorrow.”   “I forgot how much work it was to be a bridesmaid.” Sejeong sighs lightly. “Let’s just get the cake in the fridge for now.”   Jungkook and Namjoon carefully move the cake into the refrigerator area, a whole cold storage, and you take your aprons off, washing your hands. Sejeong turns to you and Jungkook. “Are you guys hungry too? You probably are since we’ve been working so late.”   You exchange a look with him. “N-No. We’re fine.”   “Are you sure?” Namjoon asks, brows raised.   “Yeah, I’m sure. I’m more tired than hungry. I’ll probably call it a night.”   “Same here.” Jungkook offers a smile, following your lead.   “Well alright, I’ll see you both bright and early then! Good job, you two.” Namjoon smiles and both he and his wife leave the kitchen, talking to one another until their voices fade away.   Jungkook then turns to you with his brow raised. “Are you really not hungry?”   You look down at your stomach and it rumbles. You wonder if he can hear it too. “I thought I’d give them alone time since we’ve been busy all day….”   An extended sigh pulls from the man’s lungs.   Jungkook smiles and as he passes by you, he ruffles your hair. “You’re so unnecessarily thoughtful sometimes….”   You turn around, trailing after him. Jungkook opens the fridge and hums, eyes searching.    “What are you doing?” you ask curiously.   “Looking for ingredients since a little someone said they weren’t hungry and now we can’t go to the only place still open.” He grins easily. “So unless you want to go back to the hotel room and wait half an hour for room service, I’ll cook.”   Jungkook sounds so self-assured that you comply, finding your place on a stool as he begins to pull out mushrooms, shallots, parmesan cheese, butter, and starts digging around the cupboards. “You can cook?”   “’Course I can. I’m a master of the kitchen.” His eyes flicker up and the little shit mocks you. “Why? Can’t you?”   “The pan always burns,” you mutter.   “Is that why you can’t melt chocolate over the stove?” he questions with a glint of mischief.   “For the record, I’m getting better. It’s not like I do it intentionally anyway. But are we even allowed to use these ingredients, Jungkook? Won’t we get into trouble?” It’s not your kitchen after all — just a small space the resort was willing to let you use.   He merely shrugs. “We have to live a little.”   You sit on the other side of the island, watching him closely.    Jungkook finds a can of chicken stock and heats it over the stove in a small saucepan. Then he moves to chop shallots and mushrooms, sleeves pulled up to his elbows, forearms revealed as he works the knife in a constant motion that’s therapeutic to listen to. Jungkook fries the shallots and mushrooms over the hot oil and butter in a skillet, tossing and flipping them as they sizzle.   He works fluidly, in a rhythm without needing to stop and think twice. It’s fun to watch.   “What are you making?”   “Mushroom risotto.”   “Sounds fancy.”   “It is,” he lies.    In your ignorance, you’re unaware that it’s actually an easy recipe. You’re also oblivious to the fact that Jungkook is secretly beaming with gratitude that his dad taught him this recipe years ago. His dad was right that he needed to learn how to cook basic dishes to one day impress.   Jungkook adds the rice, coating it in the butter before adding a cup of white wine he found in the cupboards. Once it’s fully absorbed, he puts in the chicken stock and adds salt to taste. All the while, he’s watching you from the corner of his eye. He can read you like a book and your amazed expression feeds directly into his ego.   When Jungkook turns around to throw something in the sink, he lets his enormous smile slip.   “If we ever have the time, I’ll make you shrimp or chicken risotto.”   “You can make that?”   “Of course, cooking isn’t hard.”   “Pft. You really know how to do everything, don’t you, Jeon?”   “You said it, not me.”   He serves it on a big plate, even taking the extra step to clean the edges up with a napkin. You’re amazed and when he arrogantly urges you to take a bite, you can’t even tell him off. It’s delicious.   And once you say so, he can't deny how happy he is.   Jungkook is over the fucking moon. He would cook for you for the rest of his life if you’d let him.

[voiceless-terror]

prompt request: JMart angst/hurt/comfort "you're not broken" + "i love you, no matter what your brain tells you"

Hey there friend! As requested, here is your prompt. I made it into a sort of season one/two au where Jon and Martin have already been dating. Hope you like! It can be a stand alone piece, but it is also the second in a series, the first of which is here: The Art of Conversation

“I was thinking…”

“As you do.”

Jon fixed Martin with a scowl. “Perhaps we could- that is, if you want-wouldyouliketospendthenightatmine?” 

“You’ll have to try again, love. Didn’t quite catch that.”

Jon sighed in the face of Martin’s open fondness as they strolled down the street, making their way back from lunch. Martin brought a happiness to his life that he never thought possible- a companionship built on mutual respect and love. He enjoyed every night he spent in Martin’s cozy flat, curled up on the couch drinking tea and talking about everything and nothing at all. That’s not to say they didn’t have their troubles- Martin was rather inexperienced with intimate relationships, and Jon didn’t have the greatest track record when it came to communication. But Martin held his hand the night he stuttered out his asexuality, patient and loving and kind. Jon wasn’t ashamed of who he was, never had been- but he knew that for others it was considered a deal breaker. He’d heard stories. But Martin nodded, thanked him for trusting him with his boundaries, and let him curl back into his side, as if it changed nothing.

If he could handle that, than why, for fuck’s sake, was he so worried about having Martin over?

His flat wasn’t that bad. In actuality, it was quite a bit bigger than Martin’s. He wasn’t dirty, he usually kept up with chores, kept it relatively tidy.

But there was something so intimate about it- there was a reason he never hosted any events. Martin saw glimpses of it when he picked him up for things, but he’d never actually been inside. It was just so...barren. Void of anything Jon-like. Sure, it housed his possessions, his favorite books, his grandmother’s salvageable furniture. But it was a peek into his mind that he didn’t like others seeing. What if the way he lived was wrong? What if he didn’t have the right things? Like the little things that Martin had- a proper strainer for loose-leaf tea, little jars of spices for cooking, a towel-rack instead of a plastic hook on the wall. A nice bed frame and headboard, a worn but cozy duvet. In comparison, Jon lived like a freshly-graduated college student. He should have his shit together by now, right?

But every time he thought of making it a bit more homey and lived-in, his mind blanked. Where were the lists of all the things you need to make a home yours? What would look best on the walls? And what if he bought all of those things and it just looked awkward, like puzzle pieces forced in the wrong place? So he kept his mismatched furniture and odd little piles of books. It’s easier to stick with what you know.

But it was about time he had Martin over- the man had accepted him in every possible way, this couldn’t be the thing that would make or break their relationship. That didn’t make it any easier, though.

“Would you like,” he started again, taking a deeper breath. “To spend the night at mine on Saturday?” That would give him enough time to prepare, it was only Wednesday. “I could- I dunno, fix dinner, we could watch that movie you wanted to see? Or whatever, really. I don’t mind.”

Martin beamed a bright, shining smile that always made Jon’s heart flutter when it was aimed his way. “I’d love that, Jon! I’ll bring over some wine, we’ll make a night of it.” His arm wound around Jon’s waist, bringing him closer. “Fix you an omelette in the morning.”

“With the green peppers?”

“Of course. Oh! We could go for a morning stroll; you’ve got that lovely park by your house, yeah?”

“Mhm.” It was nice seeing Martin so excited. His anxiety eased, though he still felt the need to qualify. “It’s- well, it’s not the nicest place, but I keep it clean and-”

“Jon,” Martin’s elbow nudged his side, and he bent down to give him a quick peck on the cheek. “Any place is nice if it’s got you in it.”

“Sap,” Jon rolled his eyes even as his face flushed red. 

He could probably do this. Right?

______

Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong.

Jon was twitchy and nervous the rest of the week, his mind spiraling as he considered every situation, even the most ridiculous. Martin’s not going to care if your flat is ugly. Martin’s going to take one look inside and suggest going back to his. Martin will like your cooking. It’s perfectly serviceable. Martin’s going to spit it out and-

“You alright there, boss?”

Jon jumped at the sound of Tim’s voice, almost dropping the mug he’d been preparing to wash. “Christ, Tim! Announce yourself next time, please.”

“That was me announcing myself,” he hopped up on the counter, giving him an easy smile. “What’s going on? You’ve been in your head all week.”

“I have not.”

“You asked me about the Ling statement twice today. It’s Friday. I finished researching it on Monday.”

Well then.

Jon sighed, putting the mug in the sink and turning to face Tim’s friendly concern. “It’s- hm. I’m having Martin at mine tomorrow, and- well, I’m a bit nervous.”

“Aw, that’s sweet.” Jon dodged the condescending pat to the back. “Seriously, that’s adorable. What’s there to be nervous about? You’ve been dating for three months, and pining for much more besides that.”

Jon’s hands gripped the counter with a renewed force. “I just want everything to be okay. I want him to think I’m a fully-functional human being, not someone who panics over having his boyfriend over. We’re always at his place, he’s always cooking for me. He deserves- he deserves everything.”

Tim hopped off the counter, face suddenly serious. “Jon, you’re quite literally Martin’s everything. It’s sickening with you two, honestly. You’ll be fine.” He threw an arm around his shoulder and Jon allowed it, just this once. “Now, what’re you cooking?”

“Well, there’s this pasta dish he loves at the Italian place on Third,” Jon began, his hands fidgeting nervously. “But it’s a bit...difficult to cook. I found a few recipes and I think I can recreate it, it’s just going to take some time and I’ve never worked with some of the ingredients and I might not have the right dishes for it and I don’t want to just substitute things-”

Tim cut off his rant. “That all sounds really lovely, but why don’t you just stick with something you know? That penne you brought to Sasha’s potluck last year- now that was good. And Martin liked it, right?”

“Well, yes,” Jon bristled. “But you think I can’t do it? It’s just a recipe, I should be able to follow basic instructions, I’m not stupid-”

“I didn’t say that, Jon,” Tim grabbed his shoulders and steered him into a seat. “I just think if you’re already this nervous about having him over, maybe you should minimize the stress, yeah? Lighten the load.”

“I can’t,” Jon argued. “I already bought all of the ingredients- I can’t just let them go to waste. I can do this.”

“Well, that’s the spirit!” Tim put a hand on his shoulder as Jon slumped over, leaning into the table. “Look, it’ll go over fine. Stop worrying. Martin will love whatever you make because you made it, alright? And if you need help, just give me a call. I’m not so bad in the kitchen myself, y’know.”

“Tim, you once set the toaster oven on fire because you left a cheese toastie in there for two hours.”

“Fuck’s sake, you set an oven on fire one time and no one lets you forget it-” 

_______

The day arrives without much fanfare, besides a text from both Sasha and Tim declaring that “he had this!” and to “relax, it’ll go great!” Tim wasn’t very good at keeping secrets.

And of course, a text from Martin.

Looking forward to tonight :) Love you!

He straightens up his apartment and then un-straightens it when it looks too clean. He moves furniture to make it more centered, he studies the recipe a couple more times so when four o’clock hits he’ll be ready to start cooking. It’ll be on the table by six, right when Martin’s supposed to arrive. And everything will be fine. Everything will be fine.

But his books look wrong today. Messy, ugly, no sort of order. There are little piles and big piles. Even the ones on the bookshelf look bad somehow. He’s got authors and genres all mixed up. It looks stupid, laughable. Jon’s got to fix this.

He starts unloading them one by one, first in alphabetical order then later by genre, because that makes more sense, right? He switches them back to alphabetical after much consideration- that’s the easier one, of course. But then he gets online, sees all of these nice color-coded displays and wouldn’t that look nice on his bookshelf? He grabs the older, leather-bound books he keeps in his bedroom and brings them out to the sitting area. Now these should be displayed, these look nice. But then there’s no room left over and he’s surrounded by paperbacks he couldn’t find room for and Christ the place is a mess-

And then the doorbell rings.

Fuck. Fuck!

Of course Martin would get here early. Martin always shows up at least fifteen minutes early, but two hours is kind of pushing it. Maybe he wanted to surprise Jon with something, Martin’s very kind like that. Jon opens the door, hands shaking.

Martin’s standing there, looking flustered and harried. “Sorry I’m late!” he begins, giving Jon a kiss on the cheek and a quick hug. Late? “The trains were running slow again and I practically sprinted down the street- hope I didn’t mess up your plans, love!”

Jon looks down at his phone, dumbfounded. It’s six thirty. 

It’s six thirty and there’s no dinner on the table. It’s six thirty and his living room’s a mess, books everywhere. It’s six thirty and Martin’s going to be so, so disappointed.

“Jon? Is everything alright?” He can barely make out Martin’s voice as his head swims; his arms wrap around his torso and dig into his body and all he can mumble is apologies.

“Sorry- I’m- fuck, I’m so stupid, I’m-”

“Hey, hey,” Martin’s voice immediately goes into that low, soothing tone that he uses whenever Jon’s upset. Whenever Jon makes everything about him when it should be about Martin for once. “None of that, now. Let’s go sit down, yeah?’ Martin immediately sets down his bag and his- oh God, he’s brought flowers and now Jon’s crying and everything’s wrong.

Martin’s steering him over to the couch with infinite care sits beside him, putting a hand on his knee and the other on his cheek, wiping his tears. It’s a gesture Jon loves but doesn’t deserve today. “It’s alright love, don’t cry. I’m here.”

“You’re- you’re here and I didn’t - I didn’t fix anything and nothing’s right, I’m so sorry-” Jon is well aware his words are barely intelligible, but that hardly matters now. Not five seconds in and he’s already ruined the night with his stupid, broken brain that just can’t fucking focus.

“You’re not broken, Jon,” He must have said the words aloud because now Martin’s got his face in his hands and is trying to make eye contact with him. “Don’t say that about yourself. You know it’s not true.”

“But it is,” Martin has to see that. What grown man can’t keep a schedule? What kind of adult loses three hours to a failed attempt at organizing books? Martin’s going to realize how messed up he is and he’s going to leave and Jon’s going to be alone again. “You- you deserve so much more than someone who can’t e-even make you dinner, can’t do one simple thing-”

“Jon, don’t- don’t say things like that. I know what I deserve, alright?” Martin pulls Jon to his chest and the pressure is good, stabilizing. “I love you, no matter what that brain of yours tells you. Okay?” He can only nod as the words bring on a fresh round of tears and he buries his face in Martin’s jumper.

It feels like hours before he calms down under Martin’s soothing hands and warm voice. He reluctantly pulls away to look the man in the eye. He deserves an apology that isn’t a breakdown. “I’m- I’m really sorry, though,” he sniffs, trying to keep his emotions in check. “It’s just- you’re always cooking for me and doing nice things and I wanted to pay you back.”

Martin’s brow furrows and Jon’s afraid he’s said the wrong words. “It’s not about paying me back, Jon. I cook for you because I want to, not because I have to. I like- well, it’s nice to finally have someone who appreciates it.”

Jon’s aware of Martin’s tempestuous relationship with his mother- he’s never brought Jon along on his visits, though he says that’s more to spare Jon than it is any judgment on their relationship. “She’s absolutely horrid sometimes, Jon. You don’t deserve that,” he said.

“Well, neither do you, Martin.” Jon never liked seeing Martin cry, though he insisted these were happy tears.

“You’ve got a lot of ingredients over there,” Martin murmurs, casting an appreciative eye over at the counter. “What were you planning on making?”

He pulls up the recipe on his phone, reluctantly handing it over to Martin. “I don’t think it would’ve turned out well, but I know how much you loved it when we-”

“When we went there on our first date,” Martin finishes. His eyes are watering- is he crying? “I’m sorry, it’s just- that’s so thoughtful, I think that might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

“Martin,” Jon says incredulously as he winds his arms around the man’s neck. “I didn’t even make it.”

“It’s the thought that counts, Jon!” His voice is nasally and tight. 

“Don’t- don’t cry Martin-”

“I can’t help it!”

“You’re going to make me cry again-” Martin chuckles at this and leans back on the couch, taking Jon with him in a mess of tears and laughter.  “What a pair we make.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way, love. Maybe we can make it together, yeah? Bond n’ all that.”

“That sounds nice,” Jon’s response is muffled by Martin’s jumper. “Would require getting up, though.”

“We’ve got some time. This couch is heavenly- you’ve been holding out on me, Sims.”

Later that night, after a few mishaps but an all-around good dinner, he’s back on the couch and back in Martin’s arms. He runs his fingers through Jon’s hair, a touch that quiets his brain for the first time all week. 

As it turns out, the only thing his flat was missing was someone to share it with.

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27354958

Next in Series:

My Dearest

The Weight of Love

[artificialqueens]

Me and You Together, 4/10 (Taywhora) - Ortega

fic summary: The cardinal rule of having flatmates is that you Do Not Catch Feelings For Your Flatmates, because everything inevitably goes to shit and gets made horrifically awkward. A’whora and Tayce both know this, but being in first year of uni and making good decisions have never really gone hand in hand.

a/n: fam this response is crazy it really is…thank u all so much for the love, kudos and comments, i’m so sorry if i’ve not managed to reply to urs yet but know that i’ve read them all and cherish every one and i will get round to replying and yelling some love and thanks at u soon!!! pls enjoy this chapter in which A'whora does not possess the flat’s shared brain cell at any point. that being said, i wish all the readers of this fic a very pleasant italicised ‘oh’ xo

last chapter: January-Tayce and A’whora still had unfinished business from a night out and a hungover morning in December.

this chapter: October- The gang make plans for their first year together, Tia gives everyone plans for the evening, and A'whora has a realisation that will change the dynamic of her friendship with Tayce forever.

***

“Bimini, what is it you’re actually doing?”

A’whora’s intrigued by the way her flatmate’s sitting on the sofa: legs crossed, notepad in one hand and a cigarette in the other, and looking deep in thought. They’ve not long since stretched over the smoke detector with a sock, having long since established nobody in the flat minds them smoking indoors as long as the windows are open. Lawrence is beside them on the other end of the sofa having been to all the lectures that’re required of her already today and has got a bright pink, blue and purple-flecked ball of yarn hanging from two knitting needles, with which she seems to be knitting some sort of cosy accessory. It’s a wholesome picture that’s playing out in front of A’whora, one that’s miles away from the raucous, drunk nights they’ve all shared in the first month of uni so far.

“Okay, here’s what it is,” Bimini starts, clicking their long nails together. “I am making us a freshers bucket list, and I want your input.”

“Ooh!” Lawrence perks up beside them, and A’whora, interest piqued, picks up the bowl of pasta, butter and cheese she’s spent all of five minutes making and crosses the room to sit beside her flatmates.

She knows it’s only been a month so far, but she really loves everyone she’s living with. For a start, there are four of them that take classes at the art college (the ‘art hoes’, as Tayce calls them), so they all get to walk to lectures together and hang about between classes and workshops with each other depending on how their days are going. Bimini is almost always in the flat, with not a lot of contact hours making up their journalism degree, so they’re a comforting presence for A’whora to come home to at whatever hour of the day, always asking how she is and always offering to make her coffee. Tia is sweet and funny (if ever-so-slightly grating to her at first) and they’ve bonded over being the only two flatmates seemingly able to keep the place clean and tidy. Lawrence is endearing and big-hearted, if A’whora spends half her life hoping that her next prank isn’t involving her in some way (Ellie is usually the butt of them). Ellie herself is one of A’whora’s closest flatmates; they’ll often stay up half the night finishing prototypes or assignments together, all while watching a film which they have spookily similar taste in- they’ve agreed on 101 and 102 Dalmatians, Hocus Pocus, and The Wizard of Oz so far.

And then there’s Tayce, who A’whora thinks is both the absolute carbon copy of herself and yet also so different, the yin to her yang. Tayce has been her closest friend in the flat since day one when she booted the door to her room down and dragged her out of her emotional stupor, and that’s really what’s set the tone for the rest of their friendship; Tayce, upbeat and motivating, constantly and infectiously helping A’whora feel the same way even when she doesn’t want to go out, or doesn’t feel like dragging herself out of her room for a chill flat night with the others, or even when she just feels like a heap of shit. She’s such a fun and positive person to be around, relentlessly optimistic and goofy, and she brings out that side of A’whora too. As opposed to during sixth form and high school, where she’d put up a front to make sure nobody fucked with her, A’whora finds that at uni she can be the person she truly is and let her guard down a little.

This includes being open about her sexuality for the first time ever. She’s out to her family (for the better or worse), but nobody else back home knows (not even her friends) and she wants to keep it that way for now. But at uni things are different- nobody knows her here, nobody has these preconceived ideas of who she is and who she has to be, so she’d taken the plunge and been open about everything. None of the others had cared of course, in fact they’d all been too excited about the fact there’s not a single straight person in their flat comprised of four lesbians (Tayce, Lawrence, Tia and A’whora), one bi (Ellie) and one pan (Bimini).

“What’ve you got so far?” A’whora asks Bimini, sitting down on the sofa opposite her two flatmates.

Bimini reads off their notepad. “Casino night, bottomless brunch…get the train down to Newcastle, have a big night out, stay out all night an’ get the first train home-”

“Christ, that’ll be a challenge for me, you know I get sleepy around midnight,” Lawrence chuckles.

Bimini shrugs. “We’ll just get you an IV drip of Ellie’s Monster, you’ll be alright.”

“What else’ve you got?”

“That’s it so far.”

A’whora spears a pasta spiral, tilts her head in thought as she eats it. “Get drunk in a lecture.”

“Aw, good one!” Lawrence cries enthusiastically. Bimini, for their part, frowns with disapproval.

“Wait, no! Not a good one. Not a good one at all. It’s alright for you art school bitches, you’ve got some lectures together and you can coordinate, where does that leave me n’ Tia?”

“I guess that leaves you…downing a bottle of five pound chardonnay on the back bench of a lecture hall like a tramp with a drinking problem,” Lawrence shrugs, A’whora yelping out a laugh as Bimini shoves Lawrence with their foot.

Just then, there’s movement in the hall and as A’whora turns around she’s greeted by the sight of a tired-looking Tayce and Ellie walking into the kitchen. They shrug off their coats and take off their shoes and dump their bags on the kitchen table with a huff before they walk over to the others. Tayce spreads herself out over the sofa that A’whora’s sitting on, thudding her feet onto her lap without asking permission, to which A’whora instantly pushes them off her and gets a glare and a smirk in return.

“Lawrie, are you knitting?” Ellie laughs, sitting on the arm of the sofa beside her.

“Yeah? And?”

Ellie snorts in amusement. “Just didn’t realise we were living with a wee granny.”

“Well actually, bawbag! I was in the middle of making you a scarf because I can’t stand to listen to you talking shite about how you’re cold every time we leave the flat, but I can leave it if you want,” Lawrence explains. A’whora thinks it’s funny how Ellie backtracks immediately; she can’t tell if she’s blushing or just out of breath from scaling their block’s stairs. Bimini gains control of the conversation, tilting their head in intrigue.

“How were your lectures, huns?”

“Shit, thanks for asking,” Tayce groans, thudding her head down dramatically against the sofa cushions. “I don’t know, I just can’t concentrate when I’m getting talked at for an hour at a time. I need to be doing stuff, you know?”

“Feel that,” Ellie joins in, deflated. A’whora can sympathise- she loves the practical elements of her course, but not so much the lectures. She’s glad she shares a lot of them with Ellie, and the two of them can dick about and text each other and doodle designs in their notebooks while keeping one ear on whoever’s speaking.

“Well if you want to be doing something, you can help us with this,” Bimini suggests, explaining the bucket list they’ve been making.

The girls get settled and the ideas start to flow, Lawrence putting her speakers on for background noise as they all come up with new and increasingly more chaotic exploits. Ellie suggests trying every cocktail in Levels which gets scribbled down into Bimini’s notepad, and Tayce suggests going to Levels sober, which doesn’t get afforded the same appreciation. A’whora comes up with crashing the catered halls for breakfast one day, which they all agree is a good idea but the chances of it actually happening are low considering the earliest riser in the flat is Tayce and even she doesn’t waken up til half nine on a weekend.

“What’re some clubs we’ve not been to yet?” Bimini asks, shrugging. “Could put those down, try an’ visit every one in the city?”

Lawrence snorts derisively. “You go to Underground if you want your phone stolen, Velvet if you want to be bullied by fifteen year olds in the toilets, and Crystal if you want to subject yourself to painful misogyny and probably some light sexual assault.”

“So none of those, then,” Bimini murmurs.

“Those are all really het as well, though,” Ellie wrinkles her nose up in distaste. Then her face lights up as she gets an idea. “Oh! Put down Pride in July.”

“Nice one,” Bimini nods as they scribble down Ellie’s suggestion, the others making little hums of approval.

The conversation goes on for quite some time. Halfway through it Tayce seems to decide she’s bored of lying down and instead moves to sit on the floor between A’whora’s legs, asking her to play with her hair. They’ll do this sometimes- it’s a routine they fall into, A’whora being able to style Tayce’s endlessly long, straight hair and Tayce finding the whole thing therapeutic. They have a lot of little routines like this: they’ll sit close together on the sofa during a flat movie night and take turns leaning on each others’ shoulders, spontaneously give each other hugs at random points throughout the day, trace patterns into each others’ palms when the other seems stressed.

It’s nice. A’whora’s never really had a friendship like this, soft and caring and kind. In school her group was the kind that made catty jokes about each other then buffered them with a “love you!” afterwards and took kissy-face group selfies only to bitch about each other on a private group chat mere hours later. If it was a wolfpack then it was rabid and cannibalistic, and it had seemed like a full-time job ensuring she was never the runt of it. What she’s got with all her flatmates now- especially Tayce- makes her feel like she can finally breathe.

“What about the Centurion Challenge?” Lawrence suggests with a small gasp, breaking A’whora’s reverie as she expertly twirls Tayce’s hair into a loose and chunky French plait.

“Jesus Christ, Lawrence,” Ellie mutters in amusement.

“What’s the Centurion Challenge?” Bimini asks, pulling a face.

Lawrence gives a blythe shrug as she elaborates. “A hundred shots in a hundred minutes.”

A’whora ruins Tayce’s braid in shock, her hair untwisting itself from the braid as if it’s outraged too. The cry she gives joins in harmony with that of Tayce’s and Bimini’s. “A hundred shots? You’d fucking die!”

“Not of vodka! Obviously not of vodka! I know we all have one communal brain cell between us but Christ, can one of yous not use it?!” Lawrence protests. “It’s a hundred shots of beer. Don’t shit yourselves.”

“Aw, well that’s alright then,” Bimini pipes up sarcastically. “What’s actually wrong with Scottish people? Is your breastmilk spiked with whiskey? What d’you get instead of Cow and Gate formula, just cocaine?"

“Actually, a hundred shots of beer sounds more doable to me,” Tayce shrugs, and A’whora can feel her relax against her lap.

“I’d need to change it, I can’t stand beer,” A’whora considers. Ellie cocks her head in consideration.

“Well what alcohol do you like?”

“Fucking none of it,” A’whora laughs. “Cocktails. Vodka cokes. Anything where there’s juice to cover it up.”

Tayce twists her head to look up at her, a little twinkle of mischief in her eye. “I think the challenge ceases to be a challenge when it’s reduced to one hundred watered down shots of Woo Woo, Rory.”

As the others blurt out a laugh A’whora glares down at Tayce, but she can’t help but break out into a giggle too when Tayce grabs her knee and gives it a playful wobble, letting her know she was only joking without even having to say a thing.

A’whora’s not sure what time it is when she hears the front door swing shut and Tia emerges from the hallway, her long hair all messed up from the seemingly ever-present wind outside and almost obscuring the bright smile plastered on her face. “Hey, huns!”

“Oi oi,” Tayce greets her from her position on the floor. “What’s got you so smiley?”

“Nooothing,” Tia smirks, dragging the word out playfully. “Just got an invite to the night out of a very cute girl in my MT society…and she said you guys can all come too. Pres at her flat and then out to The Avenue. Evening plans sorted?”

“Oh, love that!” Bimini gives an enthusiastic clap. “Go on then, who’s the girl? Whose night are we crashing?”

“Her name’s Veronica,” Tia smiles bashfully. “She’s so lovely. Honestly, she wouldn’t mind you coming! She’s got one of the big flats over at Gourock Court so it’s not like it’ll be packed.”

“You don’t exactly want to go to a party that’s not going to be packed,” Ellie screws up her nose. She looks unimpressed and her tone is flat. “And even if it is, I don’t know if I’m in the mood for a flat party with a ton of new people, Tia.”

A’whora’s face drops and she locks eyes with Lawrence simultaneously, who’s got an equally incredulous look on her face. “Els, are you unwell? You never turn down a night out.”

Ellie shrugs quietly, not giving much away on her face. Tia, obviously keen to move to the girl she’s crushing on, carries on persuading her. “C’mon, Eleanor, don’t be such a fucking…square! It’s the musical theatre society, we’re just a walking Pride festival who all happen to be able to hold a tune. There’s loads of fit lesbians?”

“Well if I wasn’t convinced before, I sure am now,” Tayce purrs, a little smile appearing on her lips and a cheeky twinkle in her eyes. A’whora feels her laugh come out weakly. She doesn’t know why, but an odd, uncomfortable feeling lodges itself in her gut. She can’t quite put her finger on what exactly it is or why it’s put itself there.

“And there’s gonna be so many musicals on the playlist!” Tia continues to insist, despite being met with Ellie’s sour face. “I know you’ll love it! They’d probably even play stuff from Shrek if you got them drunk enough.”

A’whora can’t help but scrunch up her nose in distaste. “Hey, I’m only coming if they play fucking…normal people music as well. I’m not gonna be sat in a room with twenty white kids trying to rap to Hamilton or whatever the fuck it is.”

Tia rolls her eyes, plants her hands on her hips in exasperation. “Calm down, A’whora, you’ll still get all the top 40 dance-pop shit you love so much.”

“To be honest, it sounds class. And The Avenue’s always good,” Bimini cuts in calmly. A’whora does have to agree with that. They’ve not been there in a while- the bar across the road from the city’s most popular LGBT club- and its selection of early 00s pop princess tracks combined with its deal of two vodka mixers and a shot for a fiver makes it a guaranteed good night out.

“Well it seems like we’re all down, even if this stroppy cow isn’t,” Tia smiles happily, sticking her tongue out at Ellie for good measure. Ellie finally heaves a world-weary sigh, rolling her eyes dramatically as she relents.

“Ugh, fine! Fine, but this Verruca or whatever the hell she’s called better be the hottest bitch on the planet for you to drag us all out with your MT weirdos, Tia Maria,” she grumps. Tia ignores her bad mood and lets out a cheer which the others join in with, and A’whora resolves to interrogate Ellie about her Bitter Betty attitude later on. Preferably when they’re both drunk. That always makes things easier.

In the melee of excitement, Tayce twists round from her position on the carpet, folds her arms and rests them on top of A’whora’s thighs. “Right. You need to come help me choose an outfit if we’re going out. I need to look fit.”

A’whora smiles with pride. “Ooh, personal stylist duties? I’m honoured.”

“Well I’m hardly gonna ask Tia, am I?” Tayce giggles quietly, and A’whora joins in like it’s a little secret they’re sharing. “Or Ellie. She’d just send me out in one of her bodysuit/skirt combos. I swear to God that girl is like Marge bloody Simpson. Open up her wardrobe and she’ll have twenty sets of the same outfit. Serial killer behaviour, that.”

At this point A’whora is laughing so much that it draws the attention of the others, who eye them with suspicious stares. “What the hell’s so funny?”

A’whora gives Tayce a mischievous look. “Tayce just called Ellie a serial killer.”

Tayce yelps in outrage at having been called out, and as Ellie narrows her eyes Tayce leaps up from the floor and tugs A’whora off of the sofa with her. “That’s taking it out of context, you absolute hound! Come on, help me pick something.”

Tayce’s fingers stay curled around A’whora’s hand all the way down the corridor and into her bedroom. It’s a feeling that A’whora likes because it makes her feel close to her friend, and Tayce taking her hand is like an affirmation and a reassurance all in one; that she likes her, that their friendship has reached the level where hand-holding has become acceptable, that A’whora is worthy of being liked, of being someone’s friend- their real, proper friend. The validation sets her heart off like a flare. It’s nice to feel wanted.

A’whora perches on the edge of Tayce’s bed as she scrapes the coat hangers in her wardrobe and throws outfits onto the bed like a tornado, each more gorgeous than the last and all ones Tayce would look stunning in. That’s something that always strikes A’whora about Tayce; just how beautiful she is, how absolutely blessed with the God-given good genes. The way she looks serene and ethereal without makeup, walking to lectures in the morning with the sun hitting her face and giving her skin a glow. The way she paints for a night out and knows how to accentuate everything about her face that’s already perfect, a feat that would seem like an exaggeration if A’whora hadn’t seen it for herself to confirm it’s true. She frequently finds herself having to hold back from giving compliments to Tayce because if she started she’d never stop.

“Okay, first thoughts are…” Tayce announces unnecessarily loudly, and A’whora laughs at the way she’s talking as if she’s a stylist on a morning TV show. “…I’m thinking something black.”

“Of course you are,” A’whora interrupts with a laugh. “Tayce wearing black. How predictable.”

Tayce gives her a shove on the shoulder that’s too hard and makes her fall back against the mattress. “Shut up! I’ll wear something other than black when Lawrence wears something other than purple, how’s about that?”

The pair of them giggle at the joke as Tayce rifles through the clothes she’s shortlisted, holding up a black leather jacket and a black bralet with an intricate lace hem. The combination makes A’whora’s eyes fly wide open in appreciation.

“This?” Tayce raises an eyebrow at her inquisitively. The fact she’s obviously seen her reaction makes A’whora feel a little self-conscious and she doesn’t particularly know why. “Because I’m wanting to wear either my wet-look leggings or my black vinyl skirt with the zip up the front, and I don’t know if that’s too much leather effect stuff?”

“It’s too much,” A’whora nods, physically unable to help her honesty. “Also I think you should wear the skirt because you’ve got good legs and you should get them out any chance you get. But also the bralet won’t go with it because it’ll make your proportions all wrong.”

Tayce smiles appreciatively as she throws the bralet back into her wardrobe as if A’whora’s given her a command and not a suggestion. “See, this is another reason why you’re the queen of outfit advice. Bimini wouldn’t give me this level of honesty, they’re too nice.”

A’whora feels a warmth spread in her chest at the compliment, but she doesn’t show it. Instead she snorts, nods in agreement. “Yeah, because you could come out dressed in a pair of child’s pyjamas and they’d still say they love it. They’d say it’s very Y2K or something.”

Tayce lets out a cackle before holding up the skirt and leather jacket, humming in thought. “Okay, so you’re saying ditch the jacket but keep the skirt.”

“Yes.”

“And ditch the bralet.”

“Yes.”

“So you want me to go out in a skirt and a pair of heels and nothing else,” Tayce raises an eyebrow at her, and as A’whora bursts out laughing and protests she has to fight off a blush at the thought of her best friend topless in heels. Topless in heels and a vinyl skirt. Topless in heels and a vinyl skirt with a zip that could just be pulled down to leave her in-

The heat floods A’whora’s face like she’s been smacked and she shifts on the bed in an attempt at dissipating the feelings that’ve hit her like a tsunami. Inappropriate. Weird. Way too weird. Don’t do that again.

“What about the bright blue fur coat you’ve got? Because you could have an all black outfit with that as a bit of colour,” she suggests, shrugging lightly in an attempt to pretend that she hadn’t just been thinking about Tayce in the way she had.

Tayce’s face lights up and she points at A’whora with one hand and reaches into her wardrobe with the other. “Love that. Okay, top?”

“Are you addressing me? I’ve never topped for anyone,” A’whora attempts a joke. If Tayce can make jokes like that to her then she can do it right back.  

“That’s very clear, baby,” Tayce shoots in response without missing a beat. Before A’whora realises it, she’s flexing her toes. What the fuck is happening to her? She needs to steer this conversation back on track.

She thinks for a second. “You’re a size eight, right?”

“In theory. The amount of pot noodles I’ve been chucking down my neck since I moved in is very quickly rendering that a distant memory, I’ll tell ya,” Tayce says, as she leans against the door of her wardrobe and folds her arms.

“I’ve got a black lace bodysuit that would go with that. It’s a ten so it’ll fit. D’you want to try it?”

“Well despite the fact a skirt and a bodysuit was the very thing I just roasted Ellie for always wearing…that sounds lush. Thanks, Rory Roo,” Tayce agrees, the nickname-of-a-nickname setting off the click of a small pilot light in A’whora’s heart. She’s about to ask if she wants to come try it on just now when she hears both their names being yelled from the kitchen.

The pair of them head back through to find that Tia has changed the playlist on the speakers from the chilled-out, calm acoustic one that had been playing to her early 00’s tunes. Combined with Bimini half-singing, half-yelling along to Murder on the Dancefloor and the blast of the extractor fan as Ellie stirs something in a big metal pot at the hob, it’s a far cry from the calm, cosy scene that A’whora had witnessed in the kitchen some hours prior.

Ellie had been the one who had shouted on them, and she whips around from the cooker when she realises that Tayce and A’whora have come through. “I’m making dinner for me, Bims and Tia, you wanting some?”

“Depends what it is. Come on, talk it up, Ellie. Give us some options,” Tayce shrugs with feigned disinterest, and A’whora can’t help the bubble of laughter that bursts from her mouth as Ellie narrows her eyes at her.

“It’s spaghetti and meatballs, and your alternatives are fuck off or die,” she shoots back savagely, and the whoop of shock and laughter that goes up from the others soars above the music and the fan. Tayce laughs good-naturedly in spite of the barb.

“I’m joking, ‘course I’ll take some.”

A’whora wrinkles her nose. “You’re making meatballs for a meal that Bimini is gonna eat?”

“They’re not real ones, dipshit,” Bimini pipes up from over on the sofa. “It’s that Birdseye Green Cuisine shit, innit.”

“Birdseye Green Cuisine shit,” A’whora repeats disdainfully. “If you ever go on The Apprentice, Bim, Alan Sugar’s gonna shit himself at your selling abilities.”

Tayce snorts, tries and fails to cover it up. When her eyes rest on A’whora they share a little smile, and A’whora’s grows bigger when she thinks about the way they’re both so in sync all the time.

“They’re nice, I promise! Veronica’s talked them up loads, she told me she’s been trying to eat more veggie things,” Tia insists, with an entirely unnecessary namedrop of her crush. A’whora relents and says she’ll have a small bowl before jumping out of her skin as Ellie bangs the spoon against the pot somewhat aggressively with a face like thunder.

Before A’whora can ask Ellie about her bad mood, Tia speaks again as she scrolls her phone to change the song. “Honestly, Ellie, you’re a star for doing dinner. Thanks so much.”

“Aw, don’t be silly, doll! It’s nothing!” Ellie turns around from the hob and bats the compliment away, shooting Tia a dazzling smile in return. It’s funny the way her demeanour seems to instantly do a complete 180 at the praise, and it makes A’whora wonder what’s changed.

She’s distracted, though, by the way Lawrence enters in her dressing gown with her hair up in a towel, obviously having come straight from the shower. She pouts and whines in a very un-Lawrence way as she lingers at the doorframe between the hall and the kitchen.

“Guysss, does anyone have an ID they can give me for tonight?”

“What about your friend? Who was it…Rosé?” A’whora shrugs, and Lawrence fixes her with a wide-eyed stare of incredulity.

“Oh my God, A’whora! I never thought about asking the girl I’ve been borrowing ID from since the start of uni! Thanks for that!” she says sarcastically, Bimini giving a yelp of laughter and A’whora leaning off the countertops and swiping at Lawrence in retort. “She’s using it. She asked her girlfriend and her flatmates for me but they’ve all got plans. I felt like a fuckin’ daytime TV charity advert.”

“For just one pound a week, you could help an underaged child get blackout drunk on triple trebles,” A’whora puts on a dramatic, concerned voice, proud of the way it makes Tayce blurt out a laugh.

“It’s such fucking bullshit,” Lawrence huffs, leaning against the fridge and folding her arms. “I mean my eighteenth’s in five days and I’ve been drinking in parks since I was fourteen, how can I not just be let into a fuckin’ bar?”

“Grow up and order a fake one,” Ellie shakes her head with incredulity, smashing the wooden spoon against the pot again with a bang-bang-bang to get the excess pasta sauce off.

“Just you pipe down, hen, you shouldn’t even be at uni. In fact, have you even completed primary yet?”

The two girls stick their tongues out at each other, a mirror-image of petty bickering that makes A’whora laugh. Luckily Bimini steps in, shrugging as they open their purse.

“Here, babe. I’ve still got my course friend’s provisional from when she dropped it on Gordon Street when she was off her face. I ain’t given her it back yet an’ I’m sure she wouldn’t care if you borrowed it. She’s chill.”

Lawrence accepts enthusiastically, bouncing over to Bimini and thanking them gratefully. A’whora watches her face drop, though, when she takes a look at the photo.

“There’s no way this’ll work.”

Bimini tuts and shakes their head, the picture of casual composure. “It’s fine, babes, they never look properly anyway.”

Lawrence drops the hand that’s holding the license to her side and fixes her friend with an astounded glare. “Bimini. This girl is black.”

As the others screech with outrage and mirth, Bimini waves Lawrence’s concerns away blithely. “It’ll be dark! It’s fine! Asttina an’ you have both got similar…well…you’re both girls, an’ you’re about the same height. Give or take a few inches.”    

“Christ. I’m going to have to just forward roll past the bouncers, aren’t I? Then draw a fuckin’ club stamp on my arm in Sharpie.”

“Oh my God, stop moaning!” Ellie sighs from her position at the hob, bangs the spoon again for emphasis. “Look, I’ll ask Pippa from flat 2, alright? You both have brown hair, so…that’ll probably be enough.”

A’whora thinks it’s interesting the way Lawrence doesn’t shoot something back in her foghorn of a voice like she normally does. Instead she smiles warmly, dashes over to the kitchen where she hugs Ellie from behind, squeezing her tightly at the stomach and making her flinch in surprise.

“Thanks, Ellie-Bellie,” she sing-songs, swaying her aggressively from side to side until Ellie bats her away, flicking the spoon in a way that threatens to shower them both in marinara sauce.

“Right, that’s plenty. Don’t even do things I enjoy for that long.”

“When’s this gonna be ready, Els?” Bimini shouts through as Lawrence lets go. “ ‘Ave I got time to do my makeup before it?”

Ellie shrugs. “If you can do your makeup in ten minutes.”

A’whora kicks her leg out in Tayce’s direction and jerks her head towards the hall. “Do you want to try on that bodysuit before tea?”

Tayce nods enthusiastically in agreement, so they go back along the corridor with a shout to the others telling them they won’t be long. A’whora holds the door of her room open for Tayce and her heart sinks in embarrassment when she realises she forgot to make her bed this morning.

“Sorry about the mess,” she apologies, to which Tayce gives a cry of a laugh in response.

“A’whora, have you seen my room? You’re fine, kid, don’t worry.”

A’whora thinks that’s true- Tayce’s room is a state, but somehow it seems to suit her. Tayce’s room with the crowded bulletin board, desk covered in sweet wrappers and sketches, floor carpeted with clothes that need washed and outfits that didn’t make the cut. The cracked picture frame on her window-sill of the first selfie the six of them all got together on the first night of freshers and the huge cheese plant that sits next to her bedside table, Tayce’s pride and joy. They’re all little intricate shards that join up to form a perfect picture of her personality, and A’whora thinks it’s sort of perfect.

She looks out the bodysuit from its neatly Marie Kondo-d place in her wardrobe and hands it gently to Tayce. “Try it and see. It’s a small 10 anyway so it’ll probably be fine for you.”

Tayce accepts it gratefully and hooks a finger around both of the straps, letting the rest of the material fall out of its perfectly folded little parcel. She gives a little gasp of appreciation as she looks at it. “Oh yes, baby. I think this’ll do just fine.”

A’whora feels good- proud that she’s managed to find the perfect piece for Tayce’s outfit, to help her look as inevitably gorgeous as she knows she will. The smile on her face falters, though, when Tayce shoots her a wink and leans against the wall with her shoulder. “This is gonna get me someone I can pop off my acrylics for, I can tell. You’ve got the best taste, girl.”

“Are you actually going to try and get with someone tonight?” A’whora injects a laugh into her question that she’s banking on sounding genuine, otherwise it comes across as accusatory and that’s not what she means it to be. Or is it? She doesn’t know. “You know how messy nights at The Avenue always get. Last time we were there Lawrence got so drunk she told us she couldn’t see, remember?”

Tayce laughs her off with a shrug. “Well then I’ll just have to be careful with my drinks, won’t I?”

A’whora gives a false laugh, tries so hard to get it to meet her eyes. Why is she so pressed about this? She gets with girls on nights out too, she’s brought the occasional one night stand to the flat. Tayce is allowed to do the same.

So why does she feel ever so slightly gutted?

If her smile looks fake (which it is) then Tayce doesn’t notice, and she only shoots her a smile as she opens the bedroom door. “You’re an angel. I’ll pop this on then be back in five.”

A’whora takes the opportunity of Tayce having left to make her bed, and as she does so she feels lots of little thoughts dart around her mind like minnows, none of them staying in the same place for long enough to be able to be deciphered. She manages to catch a few before they flee away and she clings to them, turning them over in her head: why does she feel so bothered about the prospect of Tayce finding a girl at the party, talking to her and making a connection and laughing at her jokes? Why had it felt like a punch to the gut when Tayce was joking about doing so? Why does she have this part of her that feels like an idiot for setting Tayce up to look her best and knowing that it’s for the benefit of somebody else, somebody that doesn’t know her like she does?

And then her bedroom door opens and A’whora turns around and lays eyes on her best friend. Tayce in her high heels and bare legs and the skirt with the zip. Tayce with her baby blue fake fur coat and her straight, dark hair tumbling over its shoulders. Tayce in the bodysuit- A’whora’s bodysuit- with the lace and the mesh that clings to her chest like it was designed just for her. There’s something about the fact that she’s wearing something that belongs to A’whora that makes something inside her chest tingle, the fact it’s a little piece of her in Tayce’s jigsaw puzzle that seems to fit regardless of the difference.

“What d’you think?” Tayce smiles, all too aware of how drop-dead stunning she looks.

And then the realisation hits A’whora like a train.

Oh.

Fuck.

She’s screwed.

[cherry-gemz]

The City by the Bay: Part V

Summary: Fates push you and a handsome and known stranger into each other's paths. His chilvary and good looks make you take a leap into his world and more.

Chapter: The woman in Keanu's house is revealed; you and Keanu go out on an official date to his book signing.

Catch up HERE

Pairing: Keanu Reeves x Y/N (F!Reader)

Rating: Mature, 18+

Word count: 2.5k

Who might be interested: @whiskeyslullabye ​ @marissat1998 @aestheticallywinchester ​ @fookingbetch @keanureevesisbae @romereadingshop @a-little-counter-esperanto

“I’m Mnfhdphf,” you mumble with your mouth full.

"What?" She asks again, annoyed.

"She's Y/N, Meredith," Keanu replies as he walks in, pulling a shirt over his head.

"I'm Y/N," you finally respond clearly.

"Yeah, got that," she chides.

Keanu walks over to you and grabs a piece of cheese, popping it in his mouth.

"Y/N, this is Meredith...my agent. Meredith, Y/N...Y/N is my guest."

"Oooh, your agent. N-nice to meet you," you reply and hold out your hand.

She gives you a curtly smile, but you know it's ingenuine.

"What the hell, Keanu?" She directs her annoyance to him.

As if he already knows what she's thinking, he raised his hand into submission.

"Look, it was a small accident. No one got hurt."

She tuts at him and tosses the manilla envelope on the marble slab counter.

"What's this?" He asks innocently and takes the document.

"A role...they're filming here in the city. Figured you'd be interested since your project has kept you here."

You tug at the hem of his shirt and cough, "I'll leave you to it...just gonna go get dressed."

"That would be best," Meredith snaps.

"Play nice," Keanu says unphased and reviews the script. "Huh…"

You hear him discuss a few things with her as you scamper to the living room to grab you jeans.

"What?"

He scratches the back of his neck and cranes it to the side, "I dunno, Mer. It's um…"

"It's what?"

"Dancing?"

"Yeah, so?"

"I dunno how to dance. I haven't done something like this," he shakes his head and tosses the script haphazardly on the counter.

You jump into your jeans and quickly button the button.

"Did you say dancing?" You ask across the living room.

Meredith crosses her arms and rolls her eyes.

"Yeah, this role requires me to waltz."

"There's this dance studio on Van Ness. We passed it coming here…" you quickly reply, thinking that the last time you were there was with your ex.

"Let me guess, you're a dancer," Meredith retorts.

"No...I work at a bookstore...I mean that's not all I do…"

"She's a chef, Mer. Lay off," Keanu replies.

"Oh fantastic. You almost kill yourself while riding in the rain with a bookstore girl?"

Keanu's hand motioned her to stop, "If this is about the accident, it was my fault. Don't out blame on Y/N."

"You can't just go gallivanting around the city! Or you at least call me to tell me you're okay! I had to call a million people, plus the studio, and lie until I saw you. You didn't answer your phone!"

"I'm sorry…" you pipe up. "I didn't mean for things to get out of hand...if you want me to leave-"

"YES."

"No," Keanu said cooly.

Meredith shot Keanu a death glare, but he shrugged it off and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge.

"Keanu…" she started to say as he shook his head.

"You got what you came for, Mer. You saw me, I'm fine. I'll take a look at the script and let you know. I'll call you in the morning."

"But-"

"Now, Mer I know you're coming from a good place, but you've been rude to my guest. So please see yourself at the door and we'll talk later."

Meredith's mouth stayed open like a cod fish and shot daggers over your way.

"Fine. Let me know first thing in the morning. Otherwise who knows, Hugh Jackman might swoop in on this. And don't forget, you have the signing party tomorrow night."

"Yeah, okay, Mer. Thanks."

She pivoted on her heel and headed to the foyer and out the door.

You plopped on the leather couch, stunned at their interaction.

"Gosh…" you were able to say. "I didn't think that would happen to me today."

"I'm sorry, Y/N. Meredith means well. She's tough as nails and has been my agent for years. I get why she was upset, but she had no right to talk to you that way."

He picked up the folder and walked over to the couch to sit next to you.

"It's okay...I mean, I don't know her from Adam. But definitely don't want to be on her bad side again."

"Heh, yeah. Me either."

You gulp as he sits comfortably next to you. Is this what it's like? Being normal next to the global superstar? Just be cool, Y/N.

"So, do you have any plans tomorrow?"

Your voice cracks, "What?"

"I had a fantastic time with you...I hope there will be more…" he smacks his forehead and blushes, "Gosh. I didn't mean it like that."

You stifle a giggle. I hope there will be more moments like that in the bedroom.

"What I mean to say is, I'd like you to be my date tomorrow at this signing thing...that is if you'd like to come?'

***

The next day you're on cloud nine. You've chatted to your brother about meeting the famous actor and he hadn't stopped asking you how he was and is he as cool as he seems. It's as if he wanted to go out on a date with him instead.

“Ask him for an autograph,” he asks.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, CJ,” you roll your eyes as you pace your bedroom.

“What? Not for you, for me!”

“Shut up.”

“C’mon, I have my Matrix poster that I can give you-“

“I’m going? Ceej.”

“No, wait. Ask him more about Cyberpunk...like can he-“

“Bye, dude!” You reply and end the call. It was just you and your brother these days, your parents had passed on and while you loved him, he did drive you crazy from time to time. He was finishing his senior year at Sac state and being your baby brother, you’d think you were the protector. But instead he always was the one to check in on you, to make sure you were eating all your food groups and drinking water. You loved that nut despite his spaziness.

You find yourself going through your closet for an evening with the superstar. You pick up from your bed a black leather pencil skirt and hold it up to your waist. Unsure if you can pull it off and not really knowing what you'd match it with.

Your bedroom door swings open and it's your neighbor's teenage daughter, Cori.

"Oooh, what are you doing tonight?' she teased as she crunched the apple she held in her hand.

"Help yourself, Cor," you roll your eyes alluding to the fruit that she took from your counter. You toss the skirt on the bed, then pick up a pair of your comfy boyfriend jeans.

"I got some Dr. Marten's that would go great with that skirt," she says and plops down the bed, rummaging through your clothes.

"I have worn Doc Marten's before you were born," you laugh. She's a cute kid. Hella beautiful and smart. She's talked about joining the Air Force one day and you hope she gets there.

"You need to show some leg, Y/N."

"What are you doing here?" You tut and she hands you the pretty floral silk mini dress that you bought for a wedding last year and never wore again.

"It's for tonight. It'll be cold."

"Even better, he'll have to give you his jacket."

"How do you even know about these things? You're fifteen."

"Fifteen is the new twenty," she shrugs and gets up to your closet.

You stare at the dress. It's an outfit that does accentuate your legs and you've felt cute in it. Maybe Cori is right…

She returns and hands you a faux leather jacket that you bought at some boutique a few months ago.

"I dunno…"

She shoves it to your chest, "Trust me."

"I'm not sure if this is the right outfit for the event."

"What's it for then?"

"A book signing or something?"

"Ooh, he's an artist?"

"Kind of… thespian…" you blush and pull your shirt over your head and reach for the dress.

"Oh, like locally?" She crunches another bite of the apple and leans on the doorframe.

"Not exactly…"

You pull the leather jacket on and peer at your full length mirror. You look pretty good: chic and cool, not trying too hard, but an effort nonetheless.

"Black tights," she clicks her tongue and waggles her brows.

"Is that seriously in?"

"It's hot. Sheer tights and my boots, c'mon, Y/N."

"I dunno."

"Is he hot?"

You blush at the thought of Keanu and then that you're talking to a teenager about your love life.

"Oh, he is. Okay I'll be back with my boots," she replies and rushes out of the room.

"Cor! Wait!" You yell, but she's already down the hall. You look back at your reflection and bit your lip.

I can do this. What is one little night out with the man of your dreams? Nothing to be worried about.

***

Keanu insisted on picking you up despite your resistance. You told him it was fine and you could just meet up. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. Which secretly you enjoyed.

The roar of his motorcycle echoed down your street and you pretended like you weren’t waiting for him for 30 minutes on your couch. Your palms were sweaty an your hair was falling flat, but the excitement was overwhelming.

The knock at your door startled you despite your ability to hear him approach your doorstep. You take one more look at yourself in the hall mirror and then open the door. He’s wearing a nice coat, a v-neck gray shirt, and jeans. Maybe you overdressed?

“Wow,” he says as you open the door. “I leveled up for sure.” You giggle as he hands you a bouquet of wildflowers. The bursts of yellow and orange are gorgeous and he can tell you’re pleased with them.

“Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady,” he smirks. You give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you…” you reply. “Come on in, I’ll put them in water and we can head out.”

He nods in agreement as you pivot towards your kitchen, nervous that you have him in your apartment. Keanu Reeves is in your apartment. Get it together Y/N, he was between your thighs the day before. You silently chuckle to yourself as an image flashes to your brain.

“What’s so funny?” he asks as you stare at him, caught in your thirsty moment.

"Oh, uh nothing really."

He smiles and rubs his chin, as if he could read your mind.

"I'm really looking forward to this,' he replies.

"Me, too. I hope I don't get too much in the way," you reply as you place the flowers in a vase full of water.

"Of course not," he leans his elbows on your kitchen counter. He fits here, you think. "I just hope it's not too boring."

"A night out with Keanu Reeves? Anything but boring."

He grimaces and smiles again, "No pressure."

"No pressure."

He claps his hands together and rubs them in eagerness. He's hit with a quick pain and grabs his side.

"Ke...you okay?" You leave the vase on the counter and go to his aid.

He gently touches his shoulder from the fall the day with you.

"Yeah, just got a little excited, heh. Ke. I like that."

A smile is brought to your face as you realized you called him that. It wasn't like you had thought of it before, but it fit.

"Do you need me to look at it?"

He cocked his brow, "Trying to get me shirtless again, Y/N?"

"I mean...not gonna lie. That does sound like a fun time…”

“Hey, I thought it was the intent to wine and dine you.”

“Is that so?” You coo and approach him, placing your hand on his chest. His brown eyes are soulful and deep, you could get lost in them. He leans in for a kiss and you close your eyes. His lips ignite a desire within and he encloses the gap and wraps hands around your waist. You press your body against his, the thinness of your dress makes the apex of your thighs ache.

He reluctantly pulls away, "At this rate I should cancel tonight."

"You can do that?"

"Sure, just let me call Meredith and you can tell why I won't be showing," he teases and pulls out his phone. You quickly grab it from his grasp.

"No, no need for that!"

"You sure? I bet she'd love to hear from you."

You look at his screen and pull open the camera app to take a candid shot of you two. Your first photo together.

"Let's go before I get you into more trouble."

***

BRZRKR. It's a comic book. You're attending Keanu's comic book signing party. CJ is going to flip his lid.

You arrive at a nearby bookstore, smaller than the one you work at, but it's filled with memorabilia, dolls, comics, posters of all types, heroes and anti-heroes.

Keanu downplayed this to the umpth degree. Considering how small the store was, it's jam packed with fans and media.

This is a big deal. Leave it to Keanu to say it was going to be an intimate evening. An intimate evening with 100 people you think to yourself.

The two of you didn't really talk about how to address things considering you showed up together. You were a bit busy hanging onto his strong abs as he whisked you away on his motorcycle through the city. So you weren't prepared with the paparazzi and journalists buzzing your way, trying to get a shot of the mystery woman who Keanu had arrived with.

He was escorted to the back of the store, you saw Meredith and she ignored you, purposefully. As he and the head comic writer dove into a Q&A session of how the idea was brought to life, a woman around your age accidentally bumps into you.

"Oh, excuse me!" She whispers as people continue to snap photos.

"It's okay," you reply and smile.

"This is something, huh?"

"Yeah," you nod, trying to hear what he says about comic series.

"What magazine are you with?" The woman asks. She's wearing Doc Marten's and you stifle a laugh to yourself.

"Me? Oh, I'm not a journalist. I work in a bookstore."

"This one?" She asks as she folds her arms, peering over to the table. Her hair, braided, is a natural red which is ridiculously beautiful. She's like a siren, and particularly calm.

"Oh no, just on Columbus. City Lights."

"Oh neat, so then you're a comic book enthusiast?"

"Me? I mean I've dabbled in Marvel and DC. But nothing like this."

"Yeah, tickets were hard to get for sure. I had to pull a few strings just to get this pass," she says and holds up a press lanyard.

"Oh," you reply. The crowd laughs and Keanu shakes his head smiling. Dangit, I wish I knew what they were talking about.

"How'd you get yours?"

"Um, Meredith gave it to me," you reply and then realized maybe you've said too much.

"Cool," the woman says unphased. "Mischa."

"Y\N," you say and then turn your attention to Keanu. "I'm gonna try to get a closer look," you say as a segway to leave.

"Oh sure, talk to you later," Mischa replies as you snake around the crowd to hear better.

***

After almost two hours, Keanu has done some meet and greets, and other press photos. You hang out in the back and peruse the rest of the store. Meredith approaches you from behind.

"So, what did you think?" She's wearing a slick, blush power suit and she looks amazing. Her short brunette hair is styled and for a second, she actually looks approachable.

"Very educational," you smile.

"Surprised you stayed this long."

"I hadn't realized what this actually was. Ke didn't make it sound like a big deal."

"Ke?"

"Um yeah," you blush. "Just a nickname."

"Already there, huh?" She stuffs her hands in her pants pocket and you don't understand the chip she has on her shoulder.

You ignore her comment,"So should I stay around?"

"He probably wouldn't notice you gone."

You give her a side eye, the nerve.

"Who's gone?" Keanu asks as he turns the corner and is between the two of you.

"No one," you beam as he places his hand on your shoulder.

"Mer you treating my girl alright?"

She grabs a wine glass from a nearby waiter and smirks, saying nothing and then walks away.

"Like a bulldog," you say as she disappears in the crowd.

"How about we get out of here?" He says and draws himself closer to you. "You smell fantastic by the way, did I mention that yet?"

You giggle and shake your head no, "What do you have in mind?"

"Are you up to show me the City at night?"

[monstersandmaw]

Male orc x male reader (1st person) sfw

Edit which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.

This was posted, completely unedited and hot off the keyboard, to Patreon at the beginning of June. It’s first person for a change, but male perspective.

Reader is the crown prince of a high fantasy kingdom, who was never expected to become king. His older brother was killed in action when he was 13 and he suddenly found himself shifting from the role of scholar to the role of soldier, a role for which the king things him ill-suited. It opens with him at aged fifteen, first meeting the orcish son of a local war chief, who accompanies his mother to the castle for peace talks with the king. Vilugh is about ten years older than the reader. The reader doesn't have it easy, and is extremely lonely, as I would imagine a lot of royals and people with important families would be, beneath all those expectations and responsibilities.

Hope you like it - I have more written and more I want to do with it. I know it's orcs, which isn't very non-humanoid (Patreon folks said they wanted more non-humanoid monsters), but I really enjoyed going with the inspiration for this one and was excited to share it with you first. Sorry for any mistakes - as I said, it's still mostly unedited.

(The orc’s name is pronounced ‘vee-lug’)

I was fifteen the first time I saw Vilugh, and my jaw dropped the moment he entered the castle bailey beside his mother. They both rode enormous war boars with tusks and ears as decorated as their orcish riders, and his mother’s had a great, spiked chain that dangled between them.

The War Chief swung down from her mount, landing light as a sabre cat in the rocky outcrops beyond the castle, though the myriad ornaments adorning her head gear and garlanded around her neck jangled and clinked. The blade of her double-headed axe flashed silently in the holster across her back. Bone and steel, ivory and gold flashed in the sun. Beside her, astride a colossal, russet boar with a great bristle-back mane and flashing, mismatching eyes, rode her eldest son. The orc was huge, even for young adult. With orcs and humans ageing at about the same rate, he had to have been in his mid twenties, in the absolute prime of life, and I was awestruck by his presence.

Silent, built like a bulwark, and with eyes that took in everything and revealed nothing, Vilugh glared around the courtyard. While many orc’s eyes were light as amber, his were a deep, colourless black from that distance, and I licked my lips as my heart rate shot up like a winter solstice arrow into the sky. He stared straight at me, unmoving. Evaluating me, with my scrawny arms and less than impressive physique, no doubt. He quickly dismissed me, assuming I was some kind of page boy, no doubt. His surprise when I was formally introduced to them later as the Crown Prince was certainly enough to draw a tiny, knowing smile from my lips.

They were here to begin peace talks, and, to everyone’s surprise, they went astonishingly smoothly. Few humans made snide remarks about the orcs, and none of my father’s people were decapitated in retaliation.

The orcish party came, spent hours walled up with my father and the royal council, I lingered around the door and behind the wood panelling in the great hall, scuttling along the wainscot like a stray castle mouse, sneaking scraps of conversation instead of cheese.

I couldn't take my eyes off Vilugh though. He sat with the presence of a dormant volcano; all that power barely contained within each gesture. Like his mother, he wore a mix of leather and fur, with a swathe of his large, green-skinned chest exposed beneath the cross of leather that just about covered his nipples and went up over his huge traps and down his back to meet at the waist of the loose leather riding ‘skirt’ favoured by orcs. Really though, it was more like rough linen covered with tattered layers of studded, off cuts of leather.

As a gesture, everyone left their weapons outside the doors, and as I passed by - bored after two hours of talking - I paused and stared at them. A royal guard eyed me cautiously, as if I were about to cause mischief that would get her into trouble, and her orcish counterpart standing on the other side of the small weapons cash narrowed his eyes at me. This orc was older than the others in the chamber, and stood at seven feet tall, with colossal shoulder muscles. Perhaps the most startling thing about him to me at that age was the fact that he had only one arm, and one of his tusks was missing on the same side.  He sneered down at me and I balked. I’d never seen anyone with injuries like that, and it shocked me deeply that someone could endure something like the pain of losing an arm.

I’d known orcs were tough, but that somehow helped to drive it home to me.

I had made it no further than six steps down the corridor that led away from the Great Hall when the doors creaked open and my father strode out, the orcish War Chief at his side. Trying not to look like I was on the verge of crapping my pants - which, I am ashamed to admit I probably was - I watched the party file past me. My father gave no indication of having even seen me, and marched past me as if I were no more than another rusty suit of armour gathering dust in the miles of castle corridors.

Vilugh, however, turned his gaze sidelong to me as he followed in silence, brooding as a thunderhead and twice as frightening. I managed to conjure a smile from somewhere, and he looked away. Everything about him looked dangerous, from the sheer size of his boar-like tusks to the massive curve of his shoulders, the definition of the muscles visible on his back and sides, the black rope of plaited hair, thicker than my two balled fists put together, that hung down to his backside, and the predatory set of his gait. Oh, and the two-handed axe now strapped to his back didn’t help much to soften him.

The orcs stayed in the castle - a first, I was informed in passing by Rigmore, the castle steward - but I didn’t eat with them. For some reason my father seemed ashamed of his scholarly son. My late brother would have been perfect for this; he’d been the warrior prince, the kingdom’s golden boy, the one destined to rule after father was dead. But Dannan was gone, and the kingdom had me now. I’d taken after my mother, apparently, though she’d died birthing me, so that was another thing my father seemed to hold against me.

I had expected to spend the rest of the day alone in the library, since it was the one day in the week when I wasn’t expected to be out in the training ring with the castle’s master at arms, trying to bulk up a body that didn’t want to take on muscle the way my brother’s had. Big burly Dannan with his head of golden curls and his biceps as big as an orc’s… Then there was me. The scholar-son. I was lean and toned after two years of trying to fill boots that would always be too big for me, but I showed no signs of developing any brawn to go with my brains. Too much of my mother’s side of the family in me, or so my father said.

With my head bent over a tome on the ancient language of our distant forbears, I didn’t hear the door open, but when a young page boy cleared his throat and squeaked at me, I jumped and spattered ink up my arm and onto my dark green linen shirt.

“Sorry, Your Highness,” the boy chirped, nervy as a sparrow.

“It’s fine,” I smiled, trying to reassure the kid. He was probably not even half my age. “You have a message for me?”

“Yes, Highness,” he said, bowing. “His Majesty says you’re to ride out with them. They’re going through the castle gardens and out into the deer park.”

“Oh. When?”

The boy grimaced. “Now.”

“Now?” I cursed and the boy blushed. “Thank you. I don’t supposed it would have killed my father to give me a little warning?”

The page boy didn’t know what to say to that, so I thanked him again and dismissed him, folding up my notes into the book and hurrying to my chambers to change into my riding leggings and something a little warmer.

By the time I jogged out of the main gates into the castle bailey, the party was just mounting up, my father swinging easily onto his enormous grey stallion as the beast pranced by the mounting block. My father was a soldier-son, first born and in the saddle before he could walk. I’d started a little later, but I wasn’t too bad. My mare was brought out to me, gleaming and brushed and black as midnight. The orcs were mounted on their boars and, despite the horses innate fear and hatred of the beasts, there wasn’t too much fuss about that.

The stable boy who led Starling out to me didn’t take her to the mounting block but brought her directly to me at the foot of the castle steps. Lean and light and fifteen years old, I sprang into the saddle and took the reins from him with a nod of thanks, nudging her forward with the merest squeeze of my lanky calves to join the others.

“Took your time, boy,” the king growled at me.

“I came as soon as the message was relayed to me,” I retorted sullenly. “I was in the library.”

“So I see. You’ve got ink on your lip,” he said as he reined Spectre around sharply. “Try to keep up and don’t fall off.”

My face heated at the comment but I ground my jaw. There was no point arguing. I risked a glance at Vilugh and found him staring with his unreadable expression at me. I flashed him a wide, boisterous, childish grin and asked Starling to go from a standstill to a fast canter with one easy command. She leapt forwards, following my father as he cantered away over the flagstones and out onto the sandy track that led from the castle around to the apple orchards and formal gardens, and beyond them, the deer park.

We were clearly not hunting that day, since no servants joined us, but the orcs still wore their axes strapped to their backs. Three joined us in total: the War Chief, her son, and the one-armed orc I’d seen outside the chamber. I’d obviously underestimated his significance, thinking him little more than a servant as he’d guarded their weapons and not been party to the peace talks within, but for him to be selected over the others in the party indicated otherwise. My trained mind quickly refiled the information and put it to one side.

My hair was growing floppy now that I had stopped cutting it. No one had noticed, and it now brushed my shoulders if it wasn’t tied up. In the library, I’d scraped it back into a ponytail where it bobbed playfully like a young plant’s first leaves, and now as we rode, it came loose, the little leather strap falling away to get trampled by the enormous hooves of the giant boars behind me.

Starling flew like her namesake, wild and graceful, turning at the slightest touch like a bird on the wing. I loved riding. I wasn’t permitted to go out alone, and no one ever had the time to escort me, so I only got to do it when my father decided he needed to skewer something deadly to let off steam, and now as we all picked up our paces, the horses keen to stretch their legs, I couldn’t keep the savage grin off my face. I felt feral for just half a moment, and it was glorious.

When we finally reined our horses back after a lovely canter along the smooth grass of the orchard road, I sat back a little and Starling responded by slowing her pace to a steady walk. I gave her her head, letting the reins fall loose and dangle, while Spectre pranced and jogged up ahead, snorting and tossing his head. My father always kept his reins too short, thinking it made his stallion’s crest of muscle look bigger. All it did was irritate the horse, but far be it from me to correct a king.

I glanced back and saw Vilugh’s boar raise its huge, pierced snout and let out a scream of what seemed to be like joy as it trotted along behind. My father’s horse spooked a little, and Starling skittered sideways. I went with her, absorbing the motion with my hips before she settled under my palm and voice. “Easy, they’re our friends now,” I crooned to her, and caught the flicker of her ears as she picked out my familiar voice. “There, see… just a big piglet. Nothing to worry about.”

At that, I heard Vilugh snort behind me and turned to grin at him.

“Shh,” I said conspiratorially. “She doesn't need to know what they can really do.”

His harsh face cracked a little at that and he nodded with a little smile. He probably saw me as a little child, I realised, and my face flushed again. I looked away and didn’t try to speak to him for the rest of the ride.

The orcs’ visit was brief, but it marked the beginning of an uneasy peace with their kind. I grew in my duties, becoming ever more isolated. I had no friends among the court, my father ignored me until he required me to be present for something, I trained, I rode my horse, I studied, I ate, I slept, and I read. For three years, the orcs did not return to the castle, though my father made one trip alone to visit them on neutral ground somewhere out on the plains.

When he returned, he seemed pensive, and I caught him staring at me a few times over supper that night, which unnerved me.

The year I turned eighteen was the year I discovered my new nicknames among our people. The “Silent Prince” and the “Royal Monk” had become my monikers, and my father hated it. Personally, I thought it rather fitting. I was still skinny, unable to put on muscle no matter how much meat I was given at supper or how many boars my father sent me to bring down. Of course, I couldn’t bring one down alone, but I managed once or twice with the help of a retainer or two. I wasn’t a complete disappointment. But I wasn’t Dannan.

My twenty first slid by, and my father showed no signs of slowing down. He expanded his territories to the east, and I saw war for the first time. Of course, I didn’t see it from the front lines. What I saw was strategy and numbers in the tents, and my tactics and suggestions won us three battles. They lost us one too, but to my surprise, my father started to take note of me then. He never said anything different, but he included me more in his business than he ever had. My hair grew a little longer, though I had it routinely hacked off when it got below my shoulder blades. It was nothing like the luscious head of curls my brother had had, so I could wear it long without it looking feral. Dannan’s had practically been a halo for him.

One morning, over our habitually silent weekly breakfast together, my father cleared his throat and announced, “Son, you’ll be heading off to train with Khraxh and her war band.”

I choked so hard on my scrambled egg that a servant actually had to step forwards and slap me on the back. “What?” I croaked the moment I had air enough in my lungs to articulate the word.

“You heard me,” the king said, his grey-blue eyes drifting down a list in front of him, the contents of which he had not deigned to share with me. As usual, I had brought a book with me to the table to entertain myself until he rose and left.

“I did, but… why?”

“I believe it will be good for you. Her son, Vilugh, will be here tomorrow to escort you.”

“I’m going alone?” Stupid question. I was always alone.

“Yes,” father chimed carelessly. “It’s time to toughen you up properly. Six months with them ought to do it.”

My mind went blank. “Six… Six months?” I stammered. “You can’t be serious.”

“What? You have something better to do than enhance our diplomacy with those beasts?” he sneered.

I was in the middle of translating one of the great Eddic collections of our people into the modern tongue for one, but I didn’t mention that. “Apparently not,” I said coolly, rising from the table after one last swig of water to wash down the startled remnants of my breakfast from my throat. “Excuse me,” I said, not waiting for his permission to leave.

Part Two

___

Please let me know if you’re interested in more! Some of the patreon folks were also interested in the one-armed orc, and don’t worry, he’s got more of a role to play too in the future.

I really hope you folks enjoyed this one! Don’t forget to let me know if you did enjoy it by leaving a like and/or reblogging it!

For all early releases, character art and bios, upcoming story info, and much, much more, join me over on Patreon!

You’ll have access to stories before anyone else, and you’ll get instant access Patreon-only content as well, including polls and an exclusive monthly story for those on the Pixies and Goblins tier!

__

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[caffeinatedbraincell]

Hi everybody! Here's another short episode of fluff from my procrastinating brain. Enjoy :)

This fic is inspired by this Tumblr post by @fangirlshrewt97: 

Read on AO3

Nile sipped her iced caramel coffee, watching apprehensively as the argument that had started in the car snowballed quickly in the corner of the Krispy Kreme.

“It’s okay. Nothing beats the original glazed, anyway.”

“Shut up, Booker. What kind of donut place doesn’t have peanut butter donuts?”

“Andy, contrary to whatever the hell your sources are, peanut butter donuts aren’t a thing-”

“Yes, they are! I’ve had them before!”

“When, in 1920? That entire decade was full of bad ideas that have since been discontinued!”

Nile was about to step in and see if the situation could be salvaged without causing a right scene when her cell phone rang. The caller ID showed Joe’s name.

“Hello?” she said, moving away a little as the donut disagreement continued loudly.

“Nile, I need you to come pick me up right now,” Joe said tersely over the phone.

Nile was immediately on alert. Was everything alright? Had the safe house been attacked?

“Why?” she asked.

“Nicky is passive-aggressively doing the dishes he asked me to do six hours ago.”

It took a second for his words to register. Nile managed not to laugh out loud, but it was a near thing. Unfortunately, Joe seemed to sense her amusement.

“This house isn’t safe anymore!” he insisted. “Come and get me!”

“Joe- no. Nope. You guys have been married for 900 years! Figure it out.”

“No,” Joe hissed. “No ‘figure it out.’ Come and help me. You’re being an annoying baby sister.”

“Baby sisters are supposed to be annoying. Seriously dude, just talk to him. Apologize or something. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Joe exclaimed sarcastically. “He could whip out his longsword and murder me in cold blood, ever thought about that?”

Nile rolled her eyes. “Look, just… kiss him. Really well. So he forgets about the dishes you didn’t do.”

“That’s not how relationships work!”

“Yes, it is! With you two it is! Now hang up, I need to go prevent Andy and Booker getting banned from this Krispy Kreme, too.”

“Traitor,” Joe grumbled, before cutting the call.

Nile sighed. She looked over at the corner where Booker and Andy were standing out of earshot. Booker was gesticulating wildly, while Andy stood with her arms crossed over her chest, looking unconvinced.

It appeared none of the staff had noticed them, yet. And they clearly weren’t close to reaching any sort of consensus regarding donut purchasing. Nile rubbed her forehead in resignation.

Fine, she thought. I’ll go pick up Joe real fast. No one will even notice I’m gone. She tucked her phone back into her pocket and slipped out the door.

Back at the safe house, Joe frowned at his phone. Maybe Nile was right. Sure, Nicky had ignored him as he’d loitered by the entrance of the kitchen, instead focusing way more intently than necessary on scrubbing dried cheese from the bottom of last night’s empty pasta bake tray (in Joe’s defense, the tray had needed to soak more). But standing around trying to make eye contact wasn’t good communication, and it certainly wasn’t an apology.

Abruptly, the kitchen tap shut off. Joe winced. It sounded like the dishes were done. He took a deep breath, steeling himself to go back into the kitchen and face his husband. Regardless of what he’d told Nile, Joe knew he wouldn’t be subject to anything worse than a few more hours of judgmental silence, if even that. His Nicky was quick to forgive.

But when Joe re-entered the kitchen, Nicky had his back turned and was dicing something on a cutting board out of Joe’s sight. Joe sighed. If Nicky had moved straight from doing the dishes to preparing dinner, he clearly did not want to talk to Joe. Joe dawdled in the doorway, considering making a run for it and hiding under their bed covers until Nicky cooled off.

Suddenly, Nicky cursed under his breath. Joe snapped his gaze up, alert. A drop of red splashed to the pristine white-tile floor, followed by another, and another. Oh, Joe thought, feeling his heart rate start to relax. He must have accidentally nicked himself with the knife.

But the drops kept falling, and Joe felt something unpleasant stir in the pit of his stomach. The blood thudding in his ears started to get louder again.

“Cazzo,” Nicky repeated with feeling, reaching for a scrap of paper towel on the counter. The drops kept falling.

A cold sense of dread started to lace through Joe’s entire body. How long does a cut take to heal? he asked himself. The drops kept falling. How long how long how long…

The drops kept falling. A violent wave of vertigo washed over him, and Joe stumbled forward with a strangled cry.

At the sound of his voice, Nicky whirled around, eyes widening as he caught sight of Joe. “Hayati, what-”

Joe swiped a clean knife off the drying rack and sliced it across his palm. Nicky lunged forward, snatching the knife out of his hands and tossing it aside.

“Joe, what the fuck do you thing you’re doing?!”

Joe barely heard him over the high-pitched ringing in his ears. Nicky’s voice sounded like it was coming from very far away. Instead, Joe could only watch in despair as the skin on his hand stitched itself back together. His vision blurred with tears. The words echoed hauntingly in his mind: How long? How long did they have together? How long did Nicky have left? How long would Joe be forced to live without-

“Joe! Look at me!” Nicky grabbed him roughly by the shoulders and shook him, jerking him out of his spiraling thoughts. Dazed, Joe raised his tear-stained face in compliance. “Madre de dio…” Nicky whispered, raising a hand to cup Joe’s cheek. “Love, we need to get you inside. You’re trembling. Your skin is burning hot.”

Joe let himself be half-carried to their bedroom. Nicky propped him up against a pillow and moved to leave the room. Joe panicked.

“No,” he protested weakly, clutching Nicky’s wrist. “Don’t go.”

“I’ll only be a moment, hayati. Let me get you some water.”

“No, please, Nicolò…”

Nicky relented, sitting down on the mattress in front of Joe and studying the visceral fear in his eyes. “My god. You’re not okay.”

“Were you even going to tell me?” Joe choked out.

“Tell you what?”

Joe squeezed his eyes shut. “Stop it. Don’t be cruel, amato, don’t make me say it.”

Nicky furrowed his brow in genuine confusion. “Joe? Wha- what are you talking about? What’s wrong?” He took both of Joe’s hands in his and squeezed. “Talk to me, my love. Help me understand. What happened to you?”

“Not me,” Joe croaked. “You. Your hand. It’s not heal- it’s-” He splayed out Nicky’s palm between his own, scraping up every ounce of courage he had to look at it. He froze. “Wait.” He turned the hand over, running his fingers over the unmarred skin. “You accidentally cut yourself. While chopping. Where is the blood?”

“Joe, now you’re scaring me. I didn’t cut myself. What made you think that?”

“You cussed. And then I saw- I saw blood. Dripping onto the floor. There was so much blood, Nicky, and you kept bleeding…”

Several emotions crossed Nicky’s face in quick succession: pain, fear, confusion, worry, and finally, understanding. And then, profound relief. He huffed out a dry laugh.

“Yusuf, my beloved fucking idiot, did you by any chance happen to see what I was chopping?”

Joe raised his eyes to Nicky’s, bewildered. Slowly, he shook his head.

“Beetroot, Joe. An overripe beetroot. I was only alarmed because it was dripping everywhere and staining the nice marble cutting board on our counter.”

There was a suspended pause.

“Beetroot,” Joe mumbled, blinking languidly. “You’re not hurt? You’re not- you know, you’re not…”

“Mortal? No,” Nicky smiled, reaching out to rub his thumbs softly beneath Joe’s eyes. “Do you want me to prove it to you?”

Joe shook his head immediately, surging forward to press a frantic kiss to Nicky’s lips. Before Nicky could even respond, Joe pulled away, burying his face in Nicky’s shoulder and sobbing quietly with relief.

“Hayati,” Nicky breathed, bringing his arms up around Joe and pulling him closer. “Shhh. Joe, baby, it’s okay. We’re okay. I promise.” He turned his head to press a long kiss to Joe’s curls, rubbing a hand firmly up and down Joe’s back. “I have you, my all. I’m not letting go.”

Wrapped in the warmth of Nicky’s arms, Joe gradually managed to stop shaking. He mumbled something incoherent into Nicky’s shoulder.

“What was that?” Nicky asked, pulling back slightly.

Joe stared at the bedsheet. “I said I’m sorry for not doing the dishes when you asked.”

“Joe-”

“It feels like it would have been my fault. If- if something had happened to you.”

“Never, my love. You know better. Do not go down that path. I forbid it.”

“But-”

“Enough, Yusuf.” Nicky gently pushed Joe’s shoulders down onto the pillow, moving to sit next to him, back against the headboard. Instinctively, Joe transferred his head to Nicky’s lap. Nicky hummed in contentment, burying a hand in Joe’s hair and stroking softly. “You’ve worn yourself out worrying, haven’t you.”

“Hmph,” Joe grumbled into Nicky’s thigh. “And for no good reason, apparently.”

“There is never a good enough reason to see such devastation in your eyes as I witnessed today.”

“Don’t leave me behind, then.”

Nicky inhaled sharply, stilling his hand in Joe’s hair. For the millionth time, he wished in vain that he could promise Joe this. He leaned down to brush a sweet kiss to Joe’s forehead, hovering there with his eyes closed, willing his husband to forgive his helplessness.

“I love you,” Joe mumbled, already half asleep. “It’s okay.”

Nicky sighed, resuming the soothing motion of his hand in Joe’s curls. “Rest, my heart. I love you, too.”

Fifteen minutes later, Nile poked her head through the front door of the safehouse, looking around furtively.

“Joe?” she whispered. Receiving no response, she tiptoed further into the house. Nicky was standing at the stove, his back turned to her as he stirred something that smelled truly amazing.

Nile ducked beneath the counter to avoid being spotted. The least Joe could’ve done was be waiting for her outside. Then again, she hadn’t told him she was coming, so maybe this wasn’t entirely his fault.

“May I ask why you’re sneaking around, Nile?” Nicky asked, never taking his eyes off the stove. “It’s as much your house as mine, you know.”

Nile groaned in exasperation, standing up straight. “I’m not sneaking. I'm looking for Joe.”

“In there,” Nicky pointed a wooden spoon towards their bedroom. “He’s sleeping, but you can wake him up if it’s urgent.”

“Sleeping?” Nile asked in surprise.

“Yeah, taking a nap. Why?”

“Uh, you’re not…mad at him?”

It was Nicky’s turn to look surprised. “I don’t think so? Should I be? What did he do?”

“No! Uh, nothing. Nothing. I’ll just go…pick up Andy and Booker from the donut shop, then.”

“You left them at Krispy Kreme?”

“Yeah. They were taking forever to decide.”

Nicky chuckled. “Fair enough. Can you taste this for salt?” He held out a spoon of the divine-smelling stew.

“Oh, absolutely,” Nile grinned. Maybe this wouldn’t be a wasted trip, after all.

[jungshookz]

Winemaker!Hobi!!!! y/n is wine tasting with her friend (idk why people go wine tasting but I'm sure it's for parties or something) and she forgets you aren't actually supposed to SwaLLow the wine and gets a little tipsy and she embarrasses herself, and her friend, but Hobi is like uwu she cute

➺ pairing; jung hoseok x reader

➺ genre; sommelier!hoseok, mostly comedy because y/n’s kind of a dummy 

➺ wordcount: 3.6k

➺ what to expect; “the choice to spit or swallow is entirely up to you.”

➺ note; after one million years i have returned with a hobi drabble!! i thought this request was sO good and also everyone look how handsome sommelier!hoseok is :’)) i hate wine but i would chug ten bottles just to sit around and listen to him explain to me how white wines go with creamy foods and red wines go with spicy foods :’)) okay happy reading clink clink!! (gif source unknown but i found it off here!!)

                                        ༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

sometimes the fact that you’re friends with kim taehyung genuinely confuses you

not just because you’re complete opposites in terms of literally everything but also because-

well… that’s pretty much it.

the two of you are like... a peanut butter and pickle sandwich!

when you first look at it you might think that combination is a little funky anD could possibly lead to destroying a toilet BUT when you actually give it a try you realise it’s actually pretty great!

…you get the point

so when taehyung told you that he wanted to spend his birthday at a wine tasting event, you really weren’t that surprised because of couRse he wants to spend his birthday drinking wine and socialising with other wine snobs instead of doing something actually fun like… literally anything else in the entire world

you’ve always prided yourself on being a good friend so if wine tasting was what taehyung wanted, then wine tasting was what he’d get!

but, uh

to be perfectly honest

you’re not really a wine person

you’re more of a margarita person

you just don’t see the appeal of drinking fermented grapes!!!!

why drink bitter grape juice when you can drink sugary lime goodness??

why drink something that’s been ageing in a barrel for like fifteen years when you can drink something that nevER ages due to the insane amount of additives in the premix formulas??

“wowiE, check out that spread!” you look over at the round table in the centre of the room as you and tae trickle in with the rest of the participants of the event “is that fondue?? holy shit.”

“hopefully you don’t burn the roof of your mouth again.” taehyung snorts before the smile falters on his face, “…maybe you should stay away from the fondue altogether.”

the two of you take your seats (there are fancy name cards for everyone!!) and you smooth your skirt out before smiling politely at a couple of the other people at the table

so far, the rest of the people here are… to put it as nicely as possible… more mature than you thought they’d be

but then again this is a wine-tasting seminar so it would be a huge surprise to see other twenty-something year olds hanging out here

you feel out of place but taehyung is just soaking it all up

he’s happily chatting away with the older gentleman seated next to him

sometimes you tell taehyung that you feel like he’s a fifty-five year old man trapped in the body of a twenty-four year old

and he never fights back because he knows it’s true

you let out a breath as you take a look around the room

god

you’re going to be stuck here for a good two hours drinking wine

maybe you can sneak away to the hotel bar or something

taehyung probably wouldn’t notice, right?

but would that make you a bad friend?? abandoning him here when you said this was a thing you were going to do with him??

“you know, i see myself as a wine enthusiast. the more i drink, the more enthusiastic i become!” taehyung laughs heartily and the other couples join him

christ almighty  

you’re tempted to ask him which wine-mom facebook page it was that he stole that joke from

“does anyone have the time? i think it might be wine o’ clock soon…”

you let out a quiet groan as you feel your soul literally float out of your body

okay well

that’s your cue

you are ouTTa here

just as you’re about to get up off your chair, you hear the door slam shut and-

“good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! welcome to today’s wine-tasting event. my name is hoseok, and i’m going to be your host…”

you shift in your seat as you follow the host with your eyes

you feel your heart skip a beat when he spins around to face the table

oh

he’s handsome  

like vERY handsome

perfectly tousled dark brown hair

bright twinkly eyes

his nose is literally perfect!!! perfectly slanted and perfectly pointed!!!

and his smile!!!!! it’s shaped like a heart!!!!! how precious!!!!

the thin gold chain hanging around his neck winks at you under the lights and you swallow thickly

it seems as though you’ve found a reason to stay at this event

as hoseok begins to explain how the structure of the event is going to pan out, you find yourself paying extra attention to the way his lips curve around certain words

“as you’ve probably already noticed, there’s an abundance of different dishes in front of you that’ll go great with some of the wine you’ll be tasting today… over here, a roasted fruit and cheese platter… a smoky three cheese fondue with some freshly baked french baguette slices on the side… popcorn with sesame glazed pistachios…” he slowly makes his way around the table as he introduces each of the dishes and you feel your heart drumming away as he gets closer and closer to you, “dark chocolate sea salt cashews… baked brie with figs and walnuts…”  

and you think it might be a nervous habit or something but whenever he pauses his tongue pokes out quickly to lick over his bottom lip

whatever it is it’s cuTE

as he passes you and tae you catch a whiff of his cologne and for some reason you instinctively cross your legs

and when hoseok looks directly at you your thighs automatically squeeze together and-

oh god

okAY you need to relax

why don’t you just stare at the fondue or something??

ya

you’ll do that

you immediately look down at the three cheese fondue and you begin counting how many chunks of baguettes there are on the plate sitting next to it to keep you distracted

it’s a shame you’re staring down this fondue instead of paying attention to hoseok because you don’t notice the way his eyes scan over you before he’s quickly looking over at someone else

“i believe it’s essential to expectorate when you’re tasting a wide variety of wines, but i’m well aware that some people might not be comfortable with spitting into cups and pouring that into a dump bucket, so-“ you look back up at hoseok after you finish counting the baguette chunks (you counted twenty six but some are hidden under others) “the choice to spit or swallow is entirely up to you.”

you immediately choke (on nothing??? apparently??? goD you’re lame) and reach over to grab your glass of water to keep yourself from bursting into giggles

tae gives you a couple pats on the back before rolling his eyes playfully

you find toilet humour pretty funny so he’s not surprised that you chokEd over the spitting or swallowing thing

the corner of hoseok’s mouth twitches in a smirk when he hears you whisper: “in my humble opinion, spitters are quitters-“ to your friend before you’re pressing your lips together and holding back a grin

he looks at your name tag quickly

y/n y/l/n

how cute

“so you’re going to want to hold the glass up and examine the wine against the light,” hoseok explains, “what you’re looking for are colour and clarity.”

you let out a little sigh as you prop your cheek up on your fist while the other hand holds up your glass on wine

you look down at the information sheet on the table

it’s basically just a list of the wines that you’re trying today and you’re still on number one

it’s been like fifteen minutes!!!  

there are seven wines you have to go through!!!

this hoseok guy is hot but gee whiZ he really takes his time with things

you could probably explain the wine better and faster than him!!

the colour of the wine is red!

…and you don’t know what clarity means so you’re just going to say that the clarity of the wine is also red!

“now stick your nose into the glass and give that a good whiff. what do you smell?” hoseok pauses as he looks around the table

“i’m getting notes of… i’m thinking strawberry…?”

“yes, so am i!”

“is it strawberry or cherry? i feel like it’s easy to mix those two up.”

“there’s something nutty… i’m picking up something nutty but i’m not quite sure…”

“it smells like wine to me.” you blurt out and tae elbows you when you get a couple irritated glances from your fellow wine buddies

what???

were you wronG??

you lean over to get closer to tae, “when are we drinking??” you whisper as hoseok continues to babble on about the different notes that you should be picking up on

“hush.” tae scowls before nudging you back

goD

this is torture!!!

“go ahead and give that a taste.”

aH

there we go

you tilt your head back as you down the wine in one go

down the ol’ hatchet!

also

another reason as to why you’d be a much better sommelier than hoseok: his serving sizes are tiny!!!! how are you supposed to properly taste and appreciate the wine when he gave each of you like a tiny baby shot of it??

“now, this wine pairs particularly well with the dark chocolate sea salt cashews, so feel free to try that combination.”

you perk up at the mention of eating

noW we’re talking

>:)

so

since the two of you are here for him, taehyung didn’t think that he’d have to worry too much about you

because today is his day! he should be able to enjoy his fancy wine tasting event! he wants to chat about how the creamy brie cheese compliments this rich white wine! he wants to learn about how different types of glasses can change the way you taste a certain type of wine!!

but NO

he doesn’t check up on you for good half an hour and thIS is what he gets

you’re wasted

zooted!!!

completely gone!!!!

you’re slumping back against your chair with a dopey little smile on your face while trying to balance a little chunk of camembert cheese on the tip of your pointer finger

“y/n, you weren’t- you weren’t supposed to drink all of the wine, you blockhead-“ taehyung whispers as he plucks the cheese off your finger before using his napkin to wipe your hands clean

“well, i believe in noT being wasteful, sooOo i think you might be in the wrong here, mr. look-at-all-the-wine-left-in-my-glasses-“

“alright, so this next one is a merlot,” hoseok explains as he makes his way around the table to fill everyone’s glasses up, “in terms of flavour, it’s definitely more fruit-driven and has a more cherry-like aftertaste. it has a smoother finish compared to the cabernet sauvignon that we tried earlier…”

taehyung whacks the side of your leg when hoseok gets closer to the two of and you immediately straighten up in your seat

“wine me up, monsieur.” you hold your glass up for hoseok and offer him a bright smile

he chuckles and plucks the glass from your hand before setting it back down on the table

taehyung gives you a warning look before reaching up slowly and gesturing to keep your lips zipped

you raise your hands in defence before zipping your lips and throwing the key away anD blinking hard (it was supposed to be a wink)

taehyung raises a brow

you can’t zip your lips anD lock your lips that doesn’t make any sen-

you know what

it’s fine

as long as you don’t say anything else for the remainder of this session it’ll be fine

“everyone has a little in their glass? good. go ahead and give that a taste.” hoseok clears his throat before turning to put the bottle down

you take a small sip of it before tilting your head back and-

gurlrulrulrurlurlurrgurlugr-

“what the hell are you doing?!” tae hisses as he gives your arm a hard pinch

you choke and give your chest a couple hard pats before grimacing

“god, that did noT go down smoothly.” you whisper loudly and shake your head, “i’m giving that one a sssaaad face.” you slur as you doodle a little frowny face next to the name

taehyung’s eyes widen as he looks at what you did to your information sheet

where did you even find a pen????

‘not good very bitter if ass was a flavour then this would be ass juice’

‘supposed to be complimentary with aged cheddar but i think it would go better with a kraft single’

and then in thiS corner there are several attempts of you trying to spell sauvignon blanc and they’re all scribbled out

‘sawvinion bank. solveingrown blank. sawnananananananananananananananana batman!!!!’

oh dear god

you slap tae’s hand away before scribbling something new down

‘tasted better after gargling.’

oh dear GOD

“everything alright over there?” hoseok chirps and taehyung gives him a sheepish smile before nodding quickly

“all good! sorry, we’re all good.”

“alright, does anyone have any questions for me before we move on to-”

“oOh, i have a question!! i have one, i have one, pick me-“ you wiggle your arm around and hoseok nods in your direction

“yes, y/n?”

“i think, i think that we should order, um, we should, we should order a pizza. because these water crackers or whatever you call them are nOT doing it for me, like, look at this-“ you pick one up before popping it into your mouth and chewing obnoxiously, “fho dhry. fho DRY-” you let your jaw drop and taehyung suppresses a groan of mortification when what looks like straight up saND falls out of your mouth and sprinkles right into your wine glass

“oh, god. please stop, please stop-“ taehyung winces and quickly reaches over to snap your mouth shut

you slap tae’s hand away before swallowing your bite

“so, thoughts on this pissszzzaa?” you slur as you reach for another water cracker (tae moves the plate away before you get a chance to grab one) “is pepperoni okay with everyone? yes? yes? good? nice? yum? hm?” you look around the table while nodding enthusiastically, “barbara, my love, i noticed your earrings are from chanel which can only mean you’re loaded so because of tHAT i think you should be the one to pay for this extra large, cheese-stuffed crust pepperoni-

“okay! i think you need a time out-“ taehyung chuckles and gets up before grabbing you by the arm and yanking you up off your chair

“time out??” you gawk as you stumble over your feet, “i’m not three years old, taehyung, i- oOh, barbara, dahling, if we order within the next five minutes, we can get two cans of coke on the HOUSE-!“

sLam

“-you’re going to sit here and do nothing, got it?” taehyung scolds as he helps you get settled on the ground next to the door of the room

“i gotta say, i think all this wine is making you a little catty-“ you purr before playfully batting at taehyung’s face

luckily he moves before you get the chance to scratch his cheek

tae pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration and shakes his head, “y/n, you know you’re one of my best friends and that i care a lot about you, and i appreciate you being here with me but- today was supposed to be my day! my day! so can you please just sit here and behave? please?”

even in your drunken haze you can see that taehyung is upset with you and that’s enough to sober you up a little bit

you didn’t mean to upset him :-(

you were just trying to do this wine tasting thing right!!!!! and you weRe technically tasting the wine.,. just maybe a little too much of it.,,.

you nod slowly and reach up to zip your mouth shut

“good. the water dispenser is right there, so stay hydrated.” he gets up off the ground and dusts his knees off, “and we can order a pizza after this is over, okay?”

you nod again and offer him a meek little smile

you spend the next twenty minutes staring at the wall in silence

occasionally you looked around to see if anything besides nothING was happening

you did get up once to get yourself a little paper cone of water

and then you put the cone on the top of your head like a little party hat

but theN you realised that putting a white paper cone on top of your head was just you giving yourself a dunce cap which… was actually pretty fitting in this situation  

at the twenty-eight minute mark the door opens quietly and you immediately perk up because you automatically assume it’s tae  

“it’s y/n, right?”

“oh, uh-“ your eyes widen as hoseok slides down the wall to plop himself down right next to you “yes? yeah. i’m- yes, i’m y/n.”

“i noticed you were a fan of the dark chocolate covered cashews, so-“ he holds out a little napkin filled with the cashews before handing it over to you, “everyone in there is currently mingling with each other, so i figured i’d come out here and keep you company.”

you blink owlishly

he’s being pretty friendly considering the fact that the two of you are complete strangers

almost too friendly

…you like that :-)

because you totally like being overly-friendly with strangers too!!!!

in fact, that’s how you and tae became friends!!

but enough about tae because heLLo attractive young man sitting right next to you-

“ah, well, i’ve been staring at that patchy blotch of paint on the wall for-“ you pause to check the time on your phone, “coming up to be twenty-five minutes now, so you’re not missing out on that much.” you murmur as you unwrap the napkin and pick up a cashew before popping it into your mouth

“i, um, actually…” hoseok trails off before laughing lightly, “i wanted to come out here to talk to you about earlier-“

“oh, god. you don’t have to say anything, i know i was acting insane-“ you shake your head before snorting, “trust me, you won’T be seeing me again after the event ends-“

“but i do want to see you again.”

you freeze for a second before turning to look at him

you wait for another second to go by juSt to make sure he’s not playing around with you

“…say that again?”

“i mean… i thought you were hilarious!” he grins, “i know the alcohol was definitely a contributing factor, but i took a glance at your information sheet and-“ he pauses to pull the folded up piece of paper out of his shirt pocket, “-i don’t think i’ve ever heard anyone describe the aftertaste of a sémillon like: ‘you know lemon-scented febreze? now imagine what it’d taste like if you mixed sprayed lemon-scented febreze into a glass of bleach, because that’s what this tastes like’.” hoseok looks over at you with wide eyes, “you made this wine-tasting session way more fun than i thought it was going to be!!”

huh!

what a pleasant surprise!!!

cute boy thinks you’re funny!!!!!!

“i’m glad to hear that me humiliating myself was entertaining for you!” you joke before rolling your eyes playfully,“the only reason why i’m here is because my friend is a self-proclaimed wine snob.”

“oh, please. everyone here is a self-proclaimed wine snob.” hoseok rolls his eyes playfully, “no offence to your friend, of course.”

“oh, no. all the offence, please.” you snort and pick up another cashew, “he kicked me out to punish me but i didn’t even wanna be in there in the first place so this is actually super great.”

“ooh, i think i just felt my heart split in half…” hoseok winces dramatically as he presses a hand to his chest

you can’t help but giggle before you look away nervously

now that you’re not drunk off your ass, you feel the butterflies returning to your tummy

you barely know this guy but you’re pretty sure you’re already 500% in love with him

…what wine is he going to pick out at your guys’ wedding?

oOp

okay time to reel it in a little

“-i know this might seem a little out of the blue, but… would you wanna go out for drinks sometime… with- with me…?” hoseok clears his throat

wait what

you look back at hoseok so quickly that your head probably could’ve popped off your neck

he glances away before letting out a nervous chuckle, “i just… yeah, can i take you out?”

your eyes widen slightly

oh!!

you certainly weren’t expecting for him to ask you out but you’re definitely not complaining

“feel free to say no, i just- ah, i don’t know, i don’t usually get a lot of people my age coming to these things, and i feel like you-“

“i’d love to go out for drinks sometime… definitely with you.“ you tease as you nudge his arm gently

hoseok’s cheeks flush before he beams at you

“great! i know a place that makes really good cocktails- say, do you like margaritas?”

your lips part in a gawk

“do i like- do you wanna get married??” you scoff as you sit up straight, “i love margaritas!”

“great! i promise i won’t make you drink anything that tastes like-“ hoseok pauses to look at your sheet again, “‘mouldy grapes after they’ve been trampled on by someone with athlete’s foot’…?”

you flash him a sheepish smile

yeah

you don’t think you’re ever going to be a wine person. 

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

requested drabbles masterlist

[mr-chrisevans]

for the drabble requests could you do number 8 with chris please!

Here we go! I actually had a great time writing this so I hope you enjoy it! More to come tomorrow in all likelihood but check out the original post here for more prompts.

Title: Happy Holidays, I Guess

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader

Prompt: “Look, I only came here for the Christmas cookies.”

You sat in your car outside the house for a few minutes, trying to find the will to go inside. The last thing you wanted to do was go to a holiday party filled with people from your hometown, but Chris insisted you come with him. Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you quickly pulled it out to see a text from Chris.

Chris

I can see your car outside.

Get in here or I will pull you out of the car myself don’t try me.

Y/N

God you are the worst.

You sighed heavily and finally got out of the car, carefully making your way up the driveway in the snow to make it to the front door. Before you could even knock Chris was standing in the doorway beaming.

“Y/N, you are the most stubborn person I’ve ever met, but I’m really glad to see you.” He pulled you inside and shut the door behind you.

“Look, I only came here for the Christmas cookies.” You shrugged off your coat and let him hang it up for you in the coat closet. “The fact that I let you convince me to do this is a testament to your skills of persuasion.”

“I know our hometown friends aren’t exactly your favorite people, but we can spend tonight making fun of all the people who were really shitty in high school and are now horrifically boring.”

“With that I guess I’m not only here for the cookies.” You joked.

Chris laughed and wrapped an arm around you and lead you into the kitchen. “Let’s get you something to drink because I think you’re going to need it.”

The second you got to the kitchen you were bombarded by hellos and questions about how you’ve been doing since you moved and a million other questions that you had absolutely zero desire to answer but had to be nice. Chris discreetly handed you a beer as you started talking to Kelly, the girl who hated you for two years because you beat her out for the lead part in the fall play sophomore year. “Yeah, I really love New York it’s a fantastic city.” You smiled at her. “How about you, what have you been doing?” You asked politely with no actually interest in what her answer was going to be.

“Well, George and I got married earlier this year so that’s been the most exciting thing ever.” She beamed at you. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Chris mouth ‘Not surprised’, and you tried not to laugh as she kept talking. “Not nearly as exciting as being a writer in New York though.” She said with the tiniest edge of sarcasm in her voice.

“Well, you know, everyone’s got something don’t they. It’s been great talking to you Kelly but I think we’ve got to make some rounds and say hi.” You quickly excused yourself and grabbed Chris’ arm and pulled him with you into a corner of the living room. The fake smile you had plastered on your face quickly melted off. “I’ve been here all of fifteen minutes and it is already insufferable.” You took a long sip of your beer and looked at all the people sitting in the living room. “I don’t even see any cookies here.”

“Wait here, I will be right back.” He walked back into the kitchen and left you leaning on the back windows by yourself, observing the people you went high school with as they steadily got drunker and devolved into their high-school selves. “Voila!” Chris exclaimed as he walked back over to you, an entire tray of decorated cookies in hand. “I promised cookies and now I have delivered.”

“Oh thank god.” You took a cookie off the tray and bit into it immediately. “That’s a damn good cookie.” You said as you chewed.

“Well thank you, I made these myself.” He said with a smile on his face.

“You are such a liar I saw these exact cookies at the grocery store the other day.”

“Okay, maybe I didn’t make them, but I did buy them so that counts for something.”

You chuckled at him and continued eating your cookie. “How come we never got invited to parties like this in high school? I mean, we weren’t that weird, were we?” You asked.

“We definitely weren’t weirder than any of the other theater kids, but I’m pretty sure Kelly had you on the party blacklist after the Midsummer Night’s Dream debacle. And since I was your best friend they stuck me on there too.”

“I fucking knew it.” You laughed. “She never could have pulled off Hermia though, let’s be honest.”

“Being Hermia was probably your finest hour of high school theater. Perfect performance, if you ask me.”

“I can’t believe her and George are still together. How on Earth did that happen?”

“I know, it makes literally no sense.” Chris said. “I swear I heard he cheated on her when they were in college with some girl he met when he went abroad for a semester.”

You laughed. “I would not put it past him, I mean look at him now.” George sat perched on the arm of the sofa talking very animatedly with a girl who was definitely not Kelly. “What a prick.”

Chris looked at his watch for a second, sighed, and turned to you. “I think we’ve been here long enough, shall we go for an Irish exit?”

“I would love nothing more.” You agreed excitedly and quickly finished your beer before following him out to the front hall. You both pulled on your coats as you walked out the door. “Shit.” You said, stopping on the driveway. “I should have grabbed another cookie.”

Chris stopped for a second and looked down the street, thinking. “Toss me your keys, I have an idea.”

“You want to drive my car?” You asked skeptically.

“Oh come on. I’m a much better driver than I was in high school.” You hesitated still before finally tossing him the keys. “Thank god, it’s fucking cold out here.” He ran over to the car and threw himself into the driver’s seat.”

“So where exactly are we headed?” You asked as he started the car and pulled back on to the street.

“It’s a surprise. Trust me you’ll love it.” The two of you drove for a few minutes in a comfortable silence while cheesy Christmas songs played on the radio. Before too long, Chris pulled into the parking lot of the old diner in town and turned off the car. “Well, surprise!”

“Shit, I haven’t been to Jack’s in ages. I don’t even remember the last time I was here.”

He got out of the car and gestured for you to do the same. “Let’s go, I’m starving.”

You walked inside the building, the warm air and smell of coffee greeting you. “Go ahead and take a seat anywhere, we’ll be over to help you in a second.” The woman behind the counter told the two of you. You both smiled and made your way to a booth. There were only a few other people there so it was pretty quiet and you managed to snag the booth you used to always sit at. 

“I don’t even have to look at a menu, I know exactly what I am getting.” You said as you slid into the booth opposite Chris.

He grinned. “I knew you would love this. You can never beat a late night trip to Jack’s”

“God, we used to do this all the time. No wonder my acne was so bad, Jesus.” You joked and the two of you laughed.

“We were definitely here way too often. That’s probably why everyone thought we were weird. They were out getting drunk in someone’s unfinished basement and we were here trying to see who could drink a milkshake the fastest.”

“And I beat you every time.” You said proudly.

“I was just very sensitive to cold, it’s not my fault.” He responded, trying to defend himself.

“Excuses, excuses.” He tried to continue his defense but the woman behind the counter had made her way over to take your order. 

She set down two glasses of water on the table before pulling out a little notepad from her apron. “What can I get started for you two tonight?” Her thick Boston accent made you feel even more at home in the diner.

“I will have the classic grilled cheese and tomato soup please.” 

She turned to Chris. “And for you?”

His eyes lingered on the menu for a moment before he looked back at the waitress. “I will have the cheeseburger and fries and we will split a chocolate milkshake.” He looked at you and smiled as she wrote down the order.

“I’ll be right back with all that. Anything else I can get for you besides water?”

“No I think we’re all set,” you replied. “Thank you.” 

“I think we’ve talked enough about the past tonight, it’s time to move on to the present.” Chris said, holding his glass of water between is hands as he leaned into the table. “How’s New York been lately?”

You sighed and played with your straw. “I mean, don’t get me wrong I absolutely love the city, but sometimes it can be a lot.”

He nodded along with you. “I totally get it. Work has been okay though, right?” He continued. You chewed on your lip a little and stared into your glass of water. “I take that as a no.” He added and leaned back into the booth.

You stared up at him. “No, it’s definitely not given that I no longer have a job.”

“Shit, Y/N. I’m so sorry.”

You tried to shrug it off. “It’ll be okay. I’ll figure something out soon.”

“That’s why you didn’t want to come to the party, wasn’t it?”

“And he puts the pieces of the puzzle together.” You lifted your glass to him in mock cheers. “I wasn’t exactly chomping at the bit to tell people here that I was now officially unemployed.”

“Right before Christmas too. Fucking rough.”

“We always knew my boss was a dick and now we have the ultimate proof.” You joked.

“If he didn’t live in an apartment in New York I would say we should egg his house.”

“Damn, that would’ve been amazing.” You both laughed.

“Well, let’s toast,” he said, gesturing for you to lift your glass with him, “to things being even marginally less shitty next year.” You clinked your glasses together and took a sip of your water. 

“That is definitely something I can drink to.”