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#like they could have cut more and i am interested to see how they're going to handle things like ciel getting carried off of the field. but
minakoaiinos · 4 months
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Animating this season like you can't have the slightest bit of jest and god forbid jesting about yaoi
#can't even jokingly say slurs like saying fag instead of drudge wasn't The joke#like ciel took his earrings out at school right he was trying to be normal at normal boy school and they are all using slurs in their...#...everyday social setup their whole social world within the school at least relies on every important guy having a guy who will do...#...anything for him which is literally ciel's entire bit but normie#anyway whatever i am not going to explicate every joke at play here but what really annoys me about the shojo sparkles joke getting cut...#...is that it's being used in different places like vincent got shojo sparkles yesterday and ciel's at the beginning but like that is...#...supposed to be the joke-y indicator this is NOT normie shojo school so why did these have to get animated so FLAT#like you mean you can't imply any subtext about ciel bc it would be problematic. this is a story that is literally ABOUT people playing...#...at who they are not. the whole series and every character is set on that premise. and you're going to cultivate an environment where...#...viewers accept that any kind of subtext at all is inherently problematic and needs cut from the story#like they could have cut more and i am interested to see how they're going to handle things like ciel getting carried off of the field. but#it's more uncomfortable to me to be like no being a gay teenager is inherently problematic actually he can't be gay but he can be...#...straight engaged to his cousin in earnest even though the narrative has established how that is fake too.#and not dipping into the whole sebastian thing fully but then you have a setup where you have made it unacceptable to tell any gay story...#...that might be slightly problematic even though here it genuinely is a lot of subtext you have to understand that there is subtext to get#and there is the element here with them too where they are liars and they are playacting. that's part of what makes the story so complex...#...and interesting!! is trying to decipher who is lying and why the world they live in makes them have to lie to survive#it's doing a massive disservice to this story to approach it from the angle of someone might think on that too hard and think it's...#...inappropriate :( let's be the yen press and tweet something about sebastian being a mom so no one has to question what they're looking a#in a STORY THAT'S ABOUT QUESTIONING THE TRUTH OF WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING AT#i don't even care about shipping this is just cultivating a massive media literacy problem where you are being encouraged to take a story..#..at face value and you can't make dark jokes and you can't make stories about problematic gay people#it also bothers me bc this story has been really popular in japan for like 20 years without the mass public being in a constant state of...#...is this demon his boyfriend or dad :( like they're just fucking watching it ahdjrf#that also bothers me bc it's like you guys can't engage with any grey area relationship in a story where it doesn't fit into a box#but anyways why can japan engage with it to make it as popular and long lasting as it is and not everyone else don't say bc japan is...#...full of freaks who only like freak stories. this is also symptomatic of things i have complained about elsewhere on this blog that us...#...dub culture has cultivated an environment where us normal cool americans are going to tell freakish japanese people how to engage...#...with their counterculture cartoons in the Right way without ever having to engage with another country's culture or a story in general.#my kuro posts
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elliewithcellie · 24 days
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Girl, Interrupted
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summary: Eddie crashes by your home when you least expected, but everything happens for a reason, right?
wc: 1.8k
cw: PURE SMUT (MDNI 18+), basically no plot, friends to fwb?, oral (f receiving), Eddie is a tease, fairly bold reader lol, fingering, talk of p in v sex, hair pulling, orgasms idk let me know what else
a/n: my bestie bought me slutty pajamas for my birthday, and since I'm a hypothetical whore, this has been on my mind nonstop. Finally took a break from my spn series to write this down. This is the filthiest thing I've written to date but definitely short and sweet
Eddie’s jaw fell slack as the door opened before him. He knew he shouldn’t have shown up to your place uninvited. Sure, you were his best friend, and of course, you had said he could come over whenever, but that never truly meant unannounced. He was already kicking himself for showing up as late as he did when you opened the door.
Your oh so short pajama shorts were the first thing that caught his eye, how your thighs spilled out beneath them, the cotton begging for relief. His eyes trailed higher to your tank top one size too small. The hem rested just above your midriff, the outline of your hips more prominent than he had ever seen. Your face was flush, pinks and reds lining your cheeks. He fought the urge to pinch himself, scared that he was dreaming, scared that he’d wake up to the absence of you and very real feelings emerging.
“Eddie? What are you doing here?” you asked, your arms crossing over your chest. “I thought you had a date.”
Date, what date? Eddie’s mind was going numb. His brain was flatlining at the mere sight of you, more exposed to him than he’d ever seen you. Fight or flight kicked in, debating on whether to say something or just turn around and leave. He was almost sure he was not supposed to see you in this state.
“I—uhh—it didn’t go well, so I cut it short. But I know you love the place, so I figured I’d bring over the leftovers.”
“Oh, sweet. Thank you.”
Eddie hesitated, scared to ask, but his interest piqued. “Is someone—you’re alone right now, right?”
Your eyebrows pinched together. You exhaled a dry laugh. “Please, I’m always alone. Come in. Tell me about your date.”
You ushered Eddie inside and settled into your couch. You pulled a blanket over you, and Eddie released a sigh. He couldn’t believe the hold you suddenly had on him. It was like he was in high school again, ready to combust at the sight of a shoulder. At least with your legs covered, he was less inclined to think about spreading them.
“Was it really that bad?” you asked, drawing Eddie from his thoughts.
“She was just so boring,” Eddie complained. “Like, there’s nothing wrong with her, but it was like we were from different planets! She didn’t know Metallica! How am I supposed to bond with someone when there’s nothing to relate to?”
“Did you think of showing her?”
“Showing her what?”
“Metallica!” you laughed. “Wouldn’t that be kind of romantic, you know, to introduce that to her? Maybe tell her you’re in a band? It’d be like showing her a whole new world. And maybe you’d get a groupie out of it.”
Eddie swatted at the air. “It’s not worth it. We were both bored. And it was clear she wasn’t looking to rock with a guitarist.”
“Oh, I highly doubt that.”
“You didn’t meet her. She’s pristine, a Chrissy Cunningham type. Meant to be with a lawyer or some shit.”
You leaned in closer to Eddie, your blanket sliding down your thighs. “Those are the girls who fantasize about guys like you the most. Those girls on the straight and narrow, the ones who seemed destined to be sweet stay-at-home moms or perfect career women, those are the ones who dream of just one night doing something they never thought they could. Something so wild that when they’re taking their kids to soccer practice, or their ‘perfect husband’ is asleep on the recliner while they're doing the dishes, they can think back to that wild night when they fucked a rockstar.”
Eddie’s lip trembled as chills coursed through his body. You leaned back against the couch and shrugged like what you said was nothing. You had to be on something, he decided. Never had you been so frank when the topic of sex came up. Your face was still flushed with color, and you couldn’t seem to find a comfortable position on the couch, shifting yourself from one side to the other to no specific rhythm. Heat radiated off of you, though you weren’t known to be the furnace between the two of you. Something struck Eddie as so foreign but so familiar as he took you in.
“Would you fuck a rockstar?” Eddie found himself saying.
Heat rose to your cheeks. “Do I seem like one of those straight-and-narrow girls to you?”
“That’s not what I asked,” Eddie said, a newfound confidence overtaking him. “You came up with that way too fast to act like you don’t think of it, too. So, would you fuck a rockstar?”
You bit your lip and shifted in your seat. You huffed into the couch. “Wouldn’t anyone?”
“Why so shy all of a sudden?” Eddie asked, egging you on. “You’ve been squirming since I got here, sweetheart. Is something on your mind?”
Your eyes trailed from his eyes to his lips, then back to his eyes. “Tonight is not the night to ask me that.”
“Why is that?” Eddie chuckled. “Were you in the middle of something? Was something left unfinished when I so rudely interrupted? And now all you can think about is the ache between your legs?”
You shuddered at his words. “Eddie,” you said, your voice shaking.
“I could help you.” Eddie leaned closer, his words almost a whisper. “Because I may not be a rockstar, but I’m sure I could give you the night of your life.”
Your breath hitched in your throat. “Don’t tease me. It’s not funny.”
“No one’s laughing.” Eddie pulled the blanket back, his hands resting on your thighs. Your legs slightly opened on instinct. “What kind of friend would I be, huh? If I didn’t at least offer?”
Eddie didn’t know where this bravado came from, but he didn’t care. All he knew was the longer you looked at him like that, the harder he got.
You grabbed him by his shirt and forced his lips on yours. Nothing soft or sweet came from your lips. You were needy and desperate, clinging to him like he was the air in your lungs.
The urgency shocked Eddie, but he quickly found your rhythm. He smirked against your lips as he pulled his jacket off. His hands snaked from your thighs to your hips to your ass, lifting you onto his lap. You groaned into his mouth as he rolled you against him.
He was sure he was dreaming now. Only there did he ever picture you above him, grinding your hips into his. Only there did he imagine you moaning from his touch. But never were his dreams this vivid, this real, this fucking good.
He pulled you from him and pushed you back onto the couch. You whined at the loss of contact. He’d never seen your eyes so dark, so lustful, so hungry for him.
He slid down to the floor onto his knees and pulled you to the edge of the couch. “You still want my help, sweetheart?”
You nodded emphatically.
“I need to hear you, baby. Say it.”
“Please help me, Eddie. I need you. Please.”
“Atta girl.”
You lifted yourself up as Eddie pulled your shorts down your legs. Eddie’s cock jumped at the sight of you. He bit his lip to maintain what little composure he had left.
“Aww, your poor little pussy’s just as needy as you, isn’t she?” He spread your knees apart, the cold metal on his fingers sending chills up your spine. The throbbing between your legs only intensified, a small whimper escaping your lips.
Eddie couldn’t wait any longer. There was no time for teasing, no time to explore. You needed him, and he was going to deliver.
He dove into your aching pussy like a man starved. You jumped at the contact, your hands flying to his hair. His tongue worked overtime, kitten-licking your clit before diving in for more.
“You taste so good, sweetheart,” he said, smiling against you. You moaned in response, grabbing a fistful of his hair and pulling him closer.
Your sounds turned him on even more, searching for his own release as he rubbed himself against the couch. His mind was in a daze, in utter disbelief that anyone could look so perfect for him with your legs spread and your back arched. Your chest rose and fell to the rhythm of his tongue, and your lips formed a perfect ‘o’. Oh, how Eddie wanted to feel your lips around his cock. How you’d sink down on him, your perfect innocent mouth being completely sinful just for him.
He placed a finger at your entrance and pumped in and out, his thumb now circling your clit. Your head fell back. “God, yes, Eddie. Just like that.”
“I need you to do something for me, baby,” Eddie said as he added a second finger.
“Wha—what’s that?” you asked, breathless.
“I need you to tell me what you think of when you get off. Tell me what you were thinking of before I showed up at your door.”
“I—I oh god,” you shouted as Eddie’s lips found your clit. “I—I thought about you on your fucking date.”
“Oh fuck,” Eddie groaned into your pussy, the vibrations shooting up your spine.
“I pictured you fucking her from behind, her skirt hiked up to her hips, her panties to the side as you fucked her in front of the bathroom mirror.”
“Fucking C—Christ,” Eddie stuttered, his hips rutting into the couch faster. “Keep going.”
“Then it was me you were fucking. You grabbed me by the hair, so I could watch what you were doing to me,” you said, your voice shaking with every word. “Eddie, please. I’m close. Please.”
“Come on, baby. You can do it. Tell me what I was doing to you.” He was past dreaming at this point. He was sure this was heaven. Hearing your words had him reeling. He didn’t want to stop, didn't know how to stop. He just knew he needed to see you come.
Your lip trembled. “Your hands were all over me, playing with my tits, your lips on my neck, and—and your big cock pounding into me over and oh-ver and—and Fuck! Eddie, don’t stop! Please, please, please!”
Your orgasm crashed down on you, expletives and Eddie’s name on your lips. Eddie continued to pump his fingers in and out of you like a madman as he lapped up your cum.
“Oh god, oh fuck!” he moaned against you.
You pushed his head off of you and caught your breath. Eddie took a breath, too, leaning back against his heels. You pulled him back up to you and kissed him, tasting yourself on your lips.
“That… was so hot,” Eddie said, releasing a breath.
“Can it be my turn to help you?” you asked, looking up at him through your eyelashes.
Eddie’s cheeks rouged slightly, his eyes trailing to the growing wet spot on his jeans. “I had a turn already,” he said, guilt painting his words. He leaned in toward you, a devilish smirk joining his features. “But I’m not done with you. Not yet.”
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byfulcrums · 6 months
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been rewatching rtte
toothless is called T multiple times, but the letter T doesn't exist in the alphabet of this world
i think hiccup was also called H???
hiccup went to the wedding of the man who tried to kill him and his family multiple times. no wonder he thought he could change drago's mind
snotlout is canonically a theater kid
"you're so small and cuddly" "please never say that again"
the twins are really smart, but they're also just stupid
hiccup straight up disappears when he's working on something
heather had a super noticeable crush on astrid
fishlegs got a love interest!! a plus size main character actually has a cool, badass love interest!
it was super hetnormative but it was cute
there was an island full of flying women who were implied to regularly commit cannibalism
hiccup taught all the riders how to fly with toothless, that's so sweet
everyone is a flat earther except for the twins
hiccup almost directly killed a lot of people
and killed a LOT more when destroying their ships
“scalding– cal..ding--" "toothle, plama bla!" was pretty much the funniest part of the entire series
dagur was bullied as a kid by a guy 8 years older than him who literally tattooed an imagine of him beating up little dagur in his arm??? What was that all about
actually we need to talk about how messed up everything about dagur is and about how the things that could've/did happen(ed) to him may be the reasons why he's Like That
just why was he imprisoned by the outcasts??? he didn't do anything to them directly
oof my brain is spiraling. "he loved you" "ig now we'll never know" what do you mean he didn't know if his dad loved him
there's a technically musical episode
tuffnut became hiccup's defense attorney and immediately got him the death sentence
hiccup regularly jumps off cliffs
he also jumped off a boat, with his arms tied and without toothless. just where did he think he was going
snotlout's annoying attitude is actually because spitelout pressures him too much and he feels like he has to be perfect for his dad :((
THE 'HICCUP'S EVIL MIRROR' VILLAIN THEME DONE RIGHT YESS!!!
viggo is the best httyd villain change my mind (you can't, swords at sundown, you may bring backup but i will win on my own)
skrill comeback skrill comeback SKRILL COMEBACK!!!!
"COMEEE TO DADDY"
what is a boar pit???
oh my god i had missed this series so much. it has no right to be this funny
this was my childhood. it has forever shaped the way i am
berserker heather the unhinged >>>
actually good disability rep! yay
hiccup complains about his peg leg pinching him
he straight up cannot walk without it and it is shown many times
"well, there are the benefits of a metal leg" after it got caught in a bear trap
funny moments, like snotlout trying to steal it to use it as a weapon
the jokes!! toothless laughing at the jokes!!! hiccup being so fucking done with the twins, who are always making the jokes!
there's an episode where everyone is so sleep deprived they actually start spiraling
astrid becomes a happy go lucky girl, hugs snotlout and tells him he's handsome
the fucking mood swings snotlout got were insane
the twins were straight up just hallucinating
"i sent them to wash their dragons, how could they mess that up?" cut to heather falling on her face with a bucket full of water in her hands
fishlegs becomes so paranoid, he's yelling at everyone all the time
"don't you know the trapper's trap can trap the trapper?? ...oh gods, i must be losing it, i'm quoting dagur"
YOOOO VALKA!!!! it's so nice to see her
hiccup tried to murder dagur to stop him from getting to toothless, which is scary bc it shows just how far he's willing to go for his bff, but also funny because hiccup. that was not going to work
oh the hiccstrid slowburn, how i have missed you
the twins's made up language
there was a beach episode turned murder mystery and a musical episode held at gun point
hiccup has a whole little speech that he periodically gives astrid to remind her that the twins serve a purpose
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I've been running this writing experiment lately to cut out phrases like "I felt" in my fiction writing. Like I was looking at a sentence in a draft that said, "he felt as if character's eyes were pinning him in place." And then I was like, "well, does he think that or is it true? As a result of this person watching him, he's froze. It's not like a thing, it is that thing."
Oh and "almost"! I'm always going, "He felt almost relieved that it hadn't happened." Well, did he feel better that it didn't happen or didn't he? Or "somewhat", I'm always going, "she felt somewhat perturbed."
And like none of that is wrong, to be clear. I don't know if it'd improve your writing, I don't even know if it'll improve my writing, but I use this sentence structure all the time so every viewpoint is from a voice that thinks about what it thinks, hedges its statements, and offers the same ability for wry little jokes formatted in the exact same way. And I have a lot of writing like that and I think (!) that they're good, but read as a whole, I'm like, "god, they all sound the same." Like there's one melody that I write songs to, so even with different lyrics, it's almost (!) the same song. Something I've been struggling with in regards to my writing and why I've felt so blocked is how boring I found writing my usual way. I'd read something and enjoy the individual parts of it, but then I'd step back and I didn't like the whole. And I got good at this enough at seeing that I didn't like it to do it in real time as I was writing, which as you can imagine didn't improve the process of writing because now I was bored AND dejected about being bored.
There's this sentence-level structure fact that I use unconsciously. A pattern I find easy is short sentence, short sentence, short sentence, long sentence. So I write that. "He [verbed]. He [verbed]. Then he [verbed]. As he [verbed] to his [consequence], he [verbed] that [noun] was [statement of condition]." Which could work, it often does make for a nice rhythm, but it's something I reach for often because it's easier for me.
Just last sentence, I originally typed, "I find it easier for me." But if what I mean is "using this pattern is less effort than another pattern," then it's easier for me. One voice is hedging its bets and the other asserting. Either is fine! But they're different! And, again, GOD you would not believe how many words I've cut out of this paragraph as I write it. I'm so chatty. I love using twelve words when six will do. And that gives my writing a specific tone to my ear.
So if I am bored of that tone, why not try using just the six words? Why be understated? Why be afraid of stronger opinions? So right now with my fiction, I'm experimenting with cutting out as many self-reflective words as I can. Sometime you do need to draw attention to the face that this is the character's interpretation, but like you definitely don't need to do it as much as I naturally want to do it. You don't need to always go out of your way to allow the possibility that the narrative voice is wrong. During editing, I trim the weaker ones (I originally typed, "what I consider the weaker ones" Is that more accurate?). But I think them being there in the first place shifts my language which shifts my character's which shifts my plot. It's sentence structure all the way down!!
(this barely applies to my writing on here, btw. i try to do good but yknow this is a tumblr blog. i'm not trying to get a lit mag to accept it.)
Anyway blah blah (chatty!) the point is I've been trying to write in a way opposite of my interests. Something that doesn't take itself too seriously, that emphasizes EMOTION and ACTION instead of minimizing it, and that clips through scenes at a good pace. Doing this been amazingly fun. I've been having such a good time doing it. I am writing so much because I really enjoy doing it. The process of writing is so fun again.
This post is about two things. One is my new mood stabilizer and therapy day camp. The other is about the benefit of pretending to be MXTX.
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Mission Control 1
Warnings: non/dubcon, violence, stalking, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: Captain Hydra
Summary: a man marches into your life on a mission
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
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That day, the bus is mostly empty. It's only you, an eldery couple, and the driver. The ebb and flow of traffic slows the wheels as the driver passes by vacant stops. You watch the pavement roll by between patches of grass. 
The dulcet ride lures you into a calm even as your pre-work nerves buzz. You hug your bag in your lap as the driver stops and the doors open to let in another passenger. The axel squeals as the vehicular behemoth pulls away from the curb. 
You continue to watch the city as the new rider strides between the seats. You sense their shadow loom closer and closer. You expect them to claim the empty seat across from yours. Instead, the sit right next to you. It's an odd choice given the few passengers aboard. 
You fidget and make yourself smaller. You turn your head straight as you try to see the stranger from the edge of your vision. They're big. Broad enough that their arm presses to yours even as you try to shrink into yourself. Tall too, his knees against the row in front of you. 
He sits rigidly beside you. Uneasy at his proximity, you fish into your side pocket and slide free your phone. You open it aimlessly, tapping habitually on the crossword app you play at work in the low times. 
The solutions elude you as your mind can't detach from the man crowding you into the window. Why can't he sit anywhere else? You look around at the unclaimed seats. He stays as he is, stiff, straight, unmoving. 
You close out of the came and lock your phone. You clasp your hand around the device as you hug your bag once more. Your other hand toys with the little pom pom that hangs from your zipper. 
The bright bus signs pass by. You're stop is coming up. Now is the awkward part. Getting the man to let you out. 
You pull the cord to signal your intent but he's already on his feet. You glance over and thank him softly, a brief glimpse at his face. A scar ripples from his hairline, through his temple and angles down his cheek to his jaw. His eyes are a bold blue and his nose finely cut despite the large blemish.  
He stands back as you grab your bag and sidle out. You go to the doors. He follows. 
Huh? 
He grips the yellow bar behind you, his large hand gripping as if he might crush the metal. You stare at his knuckles and the bus jerks to a stop. You nearly fall off your feet. The man catches you by your hip with his free hand. 
You set your feet and cough out another thanks. Embarrassed, you slap the doors and they open. You scurry off and the men once more trails after you. As you veer towards the mall, he waits until the bus takes off and crosses the street. With him, your suspicious leaves. 
You're frazzled as you enter work. You don't know why. You just... are. Something about that man sticks with you. Even if he never said a word, it felt like he was trying to tell you something. 
You clock in and try to shake it off. His face flashes in your mind. You can't place what seems so familiar about him. You would remember if you met him before. How could you forget? 
You go to the counter as Layton talks with a customer about the new seasonal blends. The tea shop has its peak times, especially as winter approaches, but it's one o clock on a Tuesday and that's never very busy anywhere. 
You greet the next customers. Two girls interested in the cold brew pots. You show them what you have and explain the store's points card. The buy a sampler and nothing else. Typical. 
Layton finishes at four. The traffic picks up once he's gone. You don't mind as it keeps the time moving. It peters out as the dinnertime rush fills the food court. You can hear the crowd from around the corner. 
You set to wiping down the counter and putting away the few stray canisters left out. As you turn back, you have to swallow down a shriek. You didn't hear the man over the mall's top hits playlist. 
You hesitate as your eyes meet. It's him. The man from the bus. You blink and press your lips together. 
"Hello, uh, how are you today?" You ask.  
He just stares. No answer. No sign he even heard you. 
He's in all black. Boots, jeans, cargo jacket. He stands like a soldier. You part your lips again, "are you looking for anything in particular? Today we have our apple crisp chai as the sample." 
He still doesn't react. Not more than his eyes falling to the nervous twiddle of your fingers on the counter. Your scalp prickles and your nape burns. If he keeps this up, you'll have to phone security. 
He raises his hand to reveal a familiar object. It's the fluffy pom pom from your bag. Your brows pop up, "oh? Thanks. It must have fallen off." 
You reach for it and your mind races. As nice as it is to return the key chain, you can't help but wonder. How did he know where to find you?
As you grasp the soft ball, his other hand comes up and snares your wrist. Your squeak and try to pull back. You're stuck in his grip.  
Your eyes round and flick up to meet his. His gaze bores into you and at last, his stony expression cracks. He smirks, the scar on the side of his face paling as the lines around his eyes deepen. He releases the keychain and grabs a fistful of your hair. 
"Ow!" You squeal and yank again.  
He rips your hair out at the roots and you exclaim again. Hets go of your arm and you hit the shelves behind you. He nods and spins on his heel, clutching the handful of your hair.  
You whimper and rub your head as your scalp burns. Your eyes water and your lip trembles. You just gape at the door. What just happened? 
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sanguineterrain · 3 months
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I am FERAL over your knight Jason thought. FERAL!!! Okay check this out: so Jason's ignoring reader because he feels guilty right? Maybe he tried to give them back but the king wouldn't allow it. But maybe the reader misunderstands and thinks they're not doing their "duties" so they make dinner and breakfast and wash his clothes and basically act like a perfect spouse. How would Jason react? 👀
Dear god... I feel another series coming on...
Idkidk, their dynamic is just really interesting to me! it's probably gonna be a bit of a slow burn here. Feel free to send more thoughts about them. I am rotating these two like a rotisserie chicken in my brain.
knight!jason todd x gn!reader. ambiguous time period but just assume it's olden times *gestures vaguely*. tw arranged marriage/forced relationship but it's complicated! jason is full of angst and self-loathing but he's a sweetie as per usual. original post for context.
****
The soldier—Jason—has said four words since you've arrived.
The first was "here," which he said whilst handing you a mug of milk. He didn't look at you as he said it, and that morning, he left for a five-day long station. You only know that because he said, after handing you the milk, "I've been stationed."
You realized it was five days when you heard his horse galloping towards the house... five days later.
You haven't initiated conversation because though you're a commoner, and no one ever had much hope for you to become anything but an old spinster, you know not to challenge knights.
But this is fucking ridiculous.
"Do you like veal?" you ask on your fourteenth day here.
Jason is about to leave, his boots half laced. He freezes at your question and looks up.
You stand tall, chin up. This is a normal question. A question a wife would ask her husband, except you're not a wife, and you're pretty sure this soldier isn't a husband either.
"I like veal," he says carefully, slowly. "Would you like me to fetch some from the market?"
Now, this is where it gets tricky. When the king summoned you, he made it clear that you were expected to care for Jason under his rules. You don't know how to navigate this world. You know what couples in your village do, but you don't know what's expected of you here.
"Actually, I..." Jason looks at you. His eyes are very green. He has a surprisingly sweet face under his helmet. "Actually, I was wondering if I could go. On my own."
"Oh."
You brace yourself for arguing or yelling. True, he hasn't raised his voice once, but he also hasn't said much at all. It's like living with a ghost.
"Yes, of course. Of course you can go." He fishes out a pouch of coins and gives them to you. You take it slowly, waiting for him to realize his mistake. He doesn't.
"Thank you," you say.
He nods and watches you walk.
"Wait."
You stop. Here it comes.
"There's a cargo ship in port today. The guards rotate at noon."
He leaves before you can form a thought. You hold the coins, watching blankly as the door shuts behind him. His horse whinnies, and then he's gone.
The market isn't far from the cottage. It's fantastic to be outside again. No one's noticed your absence, clearly, but that's alright. You've never expected more.
You buy a good cut of veal and potatoes and carrots and apples. Jason gave you more money than any cut of meat would cost, so surely he assumed you would buy other food. Why else would he give you so much?
A ship's horn drones in the distance. You're feeling some oranges when you remember his words. A cargo ship.
The sun is almost at its highest point.
"Oi! Either buy 'em or stop feelin' 'em!" the seller snaps.
You roll your eyes and move on from the orange stand. You can see the horizon of where the sky meets the sea from here. Any moment, the guards will change, and the ship will be...
You stop. Was Jason hinting at your escape?
No, he couldn't have been! That's preposterous. Why would he want you gone? The king took you for a reason.
And where would you go anyway? Once you leave, you'd be a criminal forever. You couldn't make a home on your own. And who knows what could happen in between? Pirates, enemy soldiers, anybody could snatch you up.
This must've been a test. A test to see if you would run. That's why he agreed to you going so easily.
No, your escape can't be planned now. Not when you're so obviously uncomfortable, and Jason knows it.
You ignore the ship and go home with your purchases. You spend the rest of the afternoon preparing veal stew. You warm leftover bread over the fire and set a pot of butter on the table.
Jason comes in louder than he has before, humming quietly. You perk up at the sound, happy for the lack of silence.
You set a bowl of stew at his chair and wait by the fire. As soon as he enters the kitchen, the humming stops.
"Welcome home," you say, wringing your hands. "I made supper."
Jason glances at the table, then back at you.
"You came back," he says.
"Why wouldn't I?" you ask, face neutral as you cut the bread into chunks.
"That—did the ship come?"
"Yes."
Jason sits. His face is dirty from training.
"I bought more than veal," you say, and hand him the pouch. "I hope that's alright. We—there were no more potatoes."
He takes the pouch, rubbing the string tied around the top. "You went to the marketplace... and came back."
It's not a question, but it sounds like there might be one behind it.
"Certainly," you say. "I'm loyal to you, Jason. I serve you."
He looks up, blinking rapidly. Then he looks back at his stew.
Oh, right. He's waiting for you to ask permission to sit.
"May I join you?" you ask.
Jason flinches. "You don't... you don't have to ask. I would never stop you from eating."
The words hang in the air. It's like neither one of you can speak right.
You watch him, and he watches you as you serve yourself and sit on the opposite side of the table. Jason takes the first bite, and you eat right after.
"Is the supper satisfactory? Have I done well?" you ask.
Jason stops chewing and sets his spoon down. You're struck by his shift in demeanor. You worry for a moment you've screwed up something as dim-wittingly simple as stew.
His eyes are sad as they fall on you. It's akin to grief, the pain he wears, but you don't know why he's grieving. You silently offer him more bread, pushing it toward him. He takes it.
"Yes," he says quietly and eats another spoonful. "You did. Thank you for supper."
Jason cleans his bowl three times. You have no stew leftover, which pleases you.
But as soon as Jason finishes eating, he gets up, rinses his bowl, and wordlessly leaves.
You don't see him for the rest of the night.
Somehow, you feel lonelier than when you weren't speaking.
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corvidcall · 2 years
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None Of You Know What Haiku Are
I'm going to preface this by saying that i am not an expert in ANY form of poetry, just an enthusiast. Also, this post is... really long. Too long? Definitely too long. Whoops! I love poetry.
If you ask most English-speaking people (or haiku-bot) what a haiku is, they would probably say that it's a form of poetry that has 3 lines, with 5, and then 7, and then 5 syllables in them. That's certainly what I was taught in school when we did our scant poetry unit, but since... idk elementary school when I learned that, I've learned that that's actually a pretty inaccurate definition of haiku. And I think that inaccurate definition is a big part of why most people (myself included until relatively recently!) think that haiku are kind of... dumb? unimpressive? simple and boring? I mean, if you can just put any words with the right number of syllables into 3 lines, what makes it special?
Well, let me get into why the 5-7-5 understanding of haiku is wrong, and also what makes haiku so special (with examples)!
First of all, Japanese doesn't have syllables! There's a few different names for what phonetic units actually make up the language- In Japanese, they're called "On" (音), which translates to "sound", although English-language linguists often call it a "mora" (μ), which (quoting from Wikipedia here) "is a basic timing unit in the phonology of some spoken languages, equal to or shorter than a syllable." (x) "Oh" is one syllable, and also one mora, whereas "Oi" has one syllable, but two moras. "Ba" has one mora, "Baa" has two moras, etc. In English, we would say that a haiku is made up of three lines, with 5-7-5 syllables in them, 17 syllables total. In Japanese, that would be 17 sounds.
For an example of the difference, the word "haiku", in English, has 2 syllables (hai-ku), but in Japanese, はいく has 3 sounds (ha-i-ku). "Christmas" has 2 syllables, but in Japanese, "クリスマス" (ku-ri-su-ma-su) is 5 sounds! that's a while line on its own! Sometimes the syllables are the same as the sounds ("sushi" is two syllables, and すし is two sounds), but sometimes they're very different.
In addition, words in Japanese are frequently longer than their English equivalents. For example, the word "cuckoo" in Japanese is "ほととぎす" (hototogisu).
Now, I'm sure you're all very impressed at how I can use an English to Japanese dictionary (thank you, my mother is proud), but what does any of this matter? So two languages are different. How does that impact our understanding of haiku?
Well, if you think about the fact that Japanese words are frequently longer than English words, AND that Japanese counts sounds and not syllables, you can see how, "based purely on a 17-syllable counting method, a poet writing in English could easily slip in enough words for two haiku in Japanese” (quote from Grit, Grace, and Gold: Haiku Celebrating the Sports of Summer by Kit Pancoast Nagamura). If you're writing a poem using 17 English syllables, you are writing significantly more content than is in an authentic Japanese haiku.
(Also not all Japanese haiku are 17 sounds at all. It's really more of a guideline.)
Focusing on the 5-7-5 form leads to ignoring other strategies/common conventions of haiku, which personally, I think are more interesting! Two of the big ones are kigo, a season word, and kireji, a cutting word.
Kigo are words/phrases/images associated with a particular season, like snow for winter, or cherry blossoms for spring. In Japan, they actually publish reference books of kigo called saijiki, which is basically like a dictionary or almanac of kigo, describing the meaning, providing a list of related words, and some haiku that use that kigo. Using a a particular kigo both grounds the haiku in a particular time, but also alludes to other haiku that have used the same one.
Kireji is a thing that doesn't easily translate to English, but it's almost like a spoken piece of punctuation, separating the haiku into two parts/images that resonate with and add depth to each other. Some examples of kireji would be "ya", "keri", and "kana." Here's kireji in action in one of the most famous haiku:
古池や 蛙飛び込む 水の音 (Furu ike ya kawazu tobikomu mizu no oto) (The old pond — A frog jumps in The sound of the water.)
You can see the kireji at the end of the first line- 古池や literally translates to "old pond ya". The "ya" doesn't have linguistic meaning, but it denotes the separation between the two focuses of the haiku. First, we are picturing a pond. It's old, mature. The water is still. And then there's a frog! It's spring and he's fresh and new to the world! He jumps into the pond and goes "splash"! Wowie! When I say "cutting word", instead of say, a knife cutting, I like to imagine a film cut. The camera shows the pond, and then it cuts to the frog who jumps in.
English doesn't really have a version of this, at least not one that's spoken, but in English language haiku, people will frequently use a dash or an ellipses to fill the same role.
Format aside, there are also some conventions of the actual content, too. They frequently focus on nature, and are generally use direct language without metaphor. They use concrete images without judgement or analysis, inviting the reader to step into their shoes and imagine how they'd feel in the situation. It's not about describing how you feel, so much as it's about describing what made you feel.
Now, let's put it all together, looking at a haiku written Yosa Buson around 1760 (translated by Harold G. Henderson)
The piercing chill I feel: my dead wife's comb, in our bedroom, under my heel
We've got our kigo with "the piercing chill." We read that, and we imagine it's probably winter. It's cold, and the kind of cold wind that cuts through you. There's our kireji- this translation uses a colon to differentiate our two images: the piercing chill, and the poet stepping on his dead wife's comb. There's no descriptions of what the poet is feeling, but you can imagine stepping into his shoes. You can imagine the pain he's experiencing in that moment on your own.
"But tumblr user corvidcall!" I hear you say, "All the examples you've used so far are Japanese haiku that have been translated! Are you implying that it's impossible for a good haiku to be written in English?" NO!!!!! I love English haiku! Here's a good example, which won first place in the 2000 Henderson haiku contest, sponsored by the Haiku Society of America:
meteor shower . . . a gentle wave wets our sandals
When you read this one, can you imagine being in the poet's place? Do you feel the surprise as the tide comes in? Do you feel the summer-ness of the moment? Haiku are about describing things with the senses, and how you take in the world around you. In a way, it's like the poet is only setting a scene, which you inhabit and fill with meaning based on your own experiences. You and I are imagining different beaches, different waves, different people that make up the "our" it mentioned.
"Do I HAVE to include all these things when I write haiku? If I include all these things, does that mean my haiku will be good?" I mean, I don't know. What colors make up a good painting? What scenes make up a good play? It's a creative medium, and nobody can really tell you you can't experiment with form. Certainly not me! But I think it's important to know what the conventions of the form are, so you can appreciate good examples of it, and so you can know what you're actually experimenting with. And I mean... I'm not the poetry cops. But if you're not interested in engaging with the actual conventions and limitations of the form, then why are you even using that form?
I'll leave you with one more English language haiku, which is probably my favorite haiku ever. It was written by Tom Bierovic, and won first place at the 2021 Haiku Society of America Haiku Awards
a year at most . . . we pretend to watch the hummingbirds
Sources: (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)
Further reading:
Forms in English Haiku by Keiko Imaoka Haiku: A Whole Lot More Than 5-7-5 by Jack How to Write a Bad Haiku by KrisL Haiku Are Not a Joke: A Plea from a Poet Who Has Had It Up to Here by Sandra Simpson Haiku Checklist by Katherine Raine
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sanemisstalker · 1 year
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Incel! Gyutaro, but it's a modern western college! au and you whip him into shape real fast. My ex won't talk to me, so I'm very much fantasizing about a man that will be obsessive over me ---> gyutaro NSFW
CW// Fem reader / AFAB genitalia / Breasted Reader / INCEL MENTALITIES : Sexism, Poly Hate / BDSM dynamics/ Implied ED (Gyutaro is a gym junkie who should definitely be eating more) / SH / Men's Mental Health / Inconsistent POV because I'm writing this with my hand down my pants (I am joking)
PART TWO <-
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-You go to community College with him. He's some fucking dude in your necessary math course they wouldn't let you drop. He sits next to you in the booths.
-He's not awful looking. He's got some weird scars across his face, but like, they're kind of artsy. They add a flare the guy would be lacking otherwise.
-His vibe is a little... weird. He doesn't talk in class ever. You see him around campus and he doesn't seem... at all versed in social interaction. You once watched him get into a fight, which was a little sexy, but since it was with Tengen Uzui, your eyes were much more interested in the latter.
-Gyutaro is used to that though. Never being the one looked at. Typical of women like you. You're always frothing at the mouth over fucking Chad's like Tengen- He got it. Tengen was built, strong jawed, and just reeked of sex appeal wherever he walked. He always had the glaze of one of those five sluts he hung out with on his lips-
-Tengen was lucky. He's apparently been training since he was young- to look like a Greek God and all. Gyutaro spent the first years of his life fighting to survive in a hospital, and then every year after fighting to live in his home safely.
-and girls like you- sluts like you were always going to favour Tengen. Always assholes.
-After that fight, you began speaking to Gyutaro. You didn't come onto the topic immediately- you didn't want to pry- So You'd mention his shirt.
-'Is that Death Cab For Cutie?' His heart dropped when you spoke. He didn't even register you were talking about his shirt.
-'Are... Are you talking to me?' He'd croak. His voice was quite nice. Soft, but low.
-'Yeah- Your shirt? That's... That's death cab for cutie, right?'
-'Y-Yeah.'
-As classes rolled by, you came to understand that Gyutaro was a very... disturbed individual. Aside from being generally jumpy and odd, his moral opinions specifically toward women were less than desirable.
-You came to know of his opinions toward Tengen as well. The level of insecurity dripping from every word was palatable... even through the venom.
-He called women 'femoids' and constantly tried to express that Tengen had been given a bigger genetic stick in life. You could never decide if he was referring to Tengen's dick or not.
-You were different, though, He'd assure. You always got what he was saying. Even if you were just letting him mindlessly ramble about his awful, borderline questionable mentalities.
-with said mentalities, you began to realize that Gyutaro was a very easy man. An incredibly easy man. Who was incredibly attracted to every woman he met- but especially you.
-'Gyutaro, have you ever slept with anyone?' You'd ask one day, on the way to the cafeteria. On the few days he chose that over the gym, he'd walk with you. You worried about him, occasionally.
-The question would visibly startle him.
-'I-No. I'm - ha- I'm not... Why?' He'd cut over his own words, face burning.
-'Just curious. You seem all cool, like you get around.' You'd melt a little at that prideful look on his face. How absolutely smitten.
-Maybe the power went to your head, but you began to seek little moments of affirmation from Gyutaro. You'd bend over, a little too close to him- The chronic porn addict. Knowing what it did to him.
-You'd always compliment his shirts- All of his bands incredibly main stream despite his insistence that they weren't.
-You remembered the noise he made when you grabbed his arm in class, once. The teacher had decided to round up the class grade- just barely passing you- and you turned and clung onto his arm, and it was almost like he choked.
-'Hey, Gyutaro, can I come over and study?' You'd pose one day. His face would turn red, a hand flying to his scarred wrist. He itched the skin off- almost always raw.
-'To my- my dorm?'
-'Mhm.'
-'My room isn't-' He'd pause. 'Why? What do you want?' His emotions would flit, unsure of your reasoning. You'd roll your eyes.
-'To hang out? You know? On the one night a week we don't have homework?'
-'Aren't you going to go... party? You do every other weekend.' You found the tang of malice on his tongue adorable. Irritating, but adorable.
'One, I don't party every week. Two, I think you'd be fun to hang out with. What, am I not pretty enough to bring back to your roomate? Am I not allowed in the great and powerful lord Gyutaro's room? ' You'd taunt.
-'N-no. You're pr- no I-'
-'Cool! You live in the good dorms, right?'
-Gyutaro did live in the good dorms. He was also very lucky to be in a one man dorm. Apparently his old roomate, Akaza, had moved out to join a frat.
-Not that you could tell it was a good dorm. The thing was filthy. It smelled like hell, too. Like Gyutaro.
-'I'm sorry for the mess.' He'd grumble. 'I get really busy...'
-'You're fine. Are you a PC gamer?' You'd point to his massive set up.
-'Y-yeah.'
-'Thats cool- ooooh, a Scott Pilgrim poster. I love that movie.' God, you just knew everything, didn't you? All the things girls weren't supposed to like. Gyutaro had been fantasizing about this very moment since you bothered to open your mouth at him. He guessed his work outs had been paying off.
-'Yeah its a good comic, too.'
-The conversation would sway too and frough. Not every really finding a groove. A girl in his room, and he could barely speak to her- you decided to take drastic measures.
-'Hey, Gyutaro, do you want to like do something? Like... a game.' You'd ask, turning to face him.
-'I- um- I have some two players-'
-'Not a game like that.' You'd laugh. He'd quirk an eyebrow. 'I'm like... horny. Like a party game'
-If you'd suddenly fired a gun next to his ear, the effect those words had on Gyutaro would've been the same. He gaped at your bluntness.
-'You're horny?'
-'Yeah... I want to do something... Dirty, I don't know.' You jerked the air off.
-'A-are you gonna leave?' He'd ask, sounding pathetic. 'Do you need me to leave?' What a dumb question, he realized, the second it left his mouth. This was his home, why would he let you jerk off-
-'Do you want to watch? It'd be rude to make you leave.' You completely understood the absurdity of the words coming from your mouth. Every word made Gyutaro's face twist into something akin to... excited disgust. It was fascinating.
-'W-watch?' He didn't understand why he stuttered so much around you.
-'Yeah... Watch? We don't need to like- play like... strip poker or anything. I just want to do something raunchy.'
-'We-we're not dating. You should do that with your boyfriend.'
-'Gyutaro, you know I don't have a boyfriend.' You'd remind. 'Are you scared?'
-'I'm not scared- I-'
-'We're adults. We can do what we want.' His traditionalist mindset was wanning by the word. He wanted you something awful, and here you were, offering to... touch yourself infront of him-
-He'd been leaning on his bed, and you began to creep forward.
-'Do you have any toys?'
-'You mean like vibes?' If his voice wasn't cracking, it was dry. Painfully so. 'I-'
-'Any you haven't put in you?'
-'I'm not into that.' He'd defend. A lie. A painful lie at that. 'I-'
-'Into what?' You'd bring your hand toward the edge of his shirt. He'd begin shaking under your touch. 'No bandaids over your nipples?'
-You'd been so kind and casual to him thus far. Always appreciating his bands and asking about his games. You're eyes had never even fixated on his birthmarks- He never expected you to actually like him-
-'I-I'm not some... some freak.'
-'You think I'm a freak for being into that?' His heart would ache at the sigh in your voice, guilt growing in his stomach as your hand left. 'Sorry, I guess I'll just go back to my dorm.'
-As you turned to leave, Gyutaro would scramble off the bed, eyes blown wide. His foot would knock into an empty can on the floor, and He'd probably tip over some of the comics on his nightstand.
-'Wait-wait!' He'd step over a pile of clothes, and begin rummaging around in the drawer behind his bed.
-His thin hand would come back with a small pink vibe- attached to a thin white wire. You could barely fight back the evil grin on your face as he resurfaced, face just as pink as the vibrator.
-You feigned needing help onto his bed, just so he'd pick you up and set you there. His tenseness was comedic. As you fully situated yourself, Gyutaro just stood, hands in his pockets-
-'Well, come on?' You ushered, nodding to the space between your legs. Gyutaro looked to the spot and then back to you.
-This couldn't be real. You couldn't be fucking real. Even as you spread your legs infront of him, revealing your dripping fucking pussy-- it could not be fucking real. It was too pornographic. You couldn't be serious- Any second you'd snap your legs shut, realize how fucking disgusting he was- how worthless and weird- and you'd spit on him, get up, and leave-
-But you didn't. You pressed the vibe to your clit and Gyutaro watched in awe as your pussy clenched around nothing. Begging, pleading for a cock to fill you, just like all the forums said it would.
-You swore you heard him whimper- gasp- Feeling all powerful under his watchful eye. You were very pleased to find he was bulging through his sweats, a small wet patch already forming.
-He wouldn't be able to get over how fucking wet you were. How good your pussy responded to the vibrations, how good you looked when you craved dick-
-'You should... Your hard on looks like it hurts.'
-Fuck, everything hurt. Your voice made his balls ache, begging for release. He didn't want to cum so early- Didn't want to be a minute man infront of you.
-You wanted him to cum early so bad. His dick had already soaked through his sweats with pre- you knew you could get him worse.
-'Gyutaro, can you- Can you finger me?'
-So fucking cruel. So fucking evil-
-You knew he'd be no good. Too rough and fast, but to your surprise, he shook his head. Very admant.
-'Why not?'
-'I- my hands are gross.' He'd whisper. The poor thing sounded close to tears. He wanted to finger you so bad, but he was all to aware of the cracks and scabs along his knuckles. 'I don't want to get you dirty.'
-'Do you have gloves?' You were surprised by the desperation in your own voice. Fuck.
-'L-like latex?'
-'Mhm'
-Gyutaro had cleared the bed and rush to his bathroom, yanking the gloves from the medicine cabinet. You heard the faucet start, and then a crash and a bang-
-And then Gyutaro was back infront of you, one hand covered with a glove. And he smelled like cologne. You held back a laugh.
-He shivered at the way your pussy sucked his finger in. And then a second not even a minute later.
-'It hurts... You should get on top of me. It'll help.' You reasoned.
-Gyutaro watched you with wide eyes as he bent down next to you, the curve of his wrist allowing him to begin an all too gentle thrust into your pussy.
-His face was right by yours, drinking in the sight of you growing heavy eyed and huffy with awe.
-He picked up his speed. Fuck- you were a real doll, alright. So fucking perfect. All for him. All his- you were his, he decided, deluded by the intimacy of the situation.
-You weren't going to be allowed to go anywhere with any other man- ever again. Nobody else could see this. Nobody was going to see you cum other than him, make you cum, other than him.
-'You keep going just past it-' You'd groan with frustration.
-'Past- What?'
-'I need you to- my g-spot you keep hitting everything but it-'
-His face would turn bright red at the critique.
-'Your g-spot?'
-'Of course you wouldn't know what that is.' You'd snark, reaching down to grab his wrist. His jaw would tighten as you began to guide his hand in and out of your pussy, back arching as he grazed a textured part of your walls.
-He felt like a dildo, an object for you to chase your high-
-Gyutaro came before you, his free hand rushing to try and prevent it, but you'd feel him shiver and hear a soft-
-'Fuck- fuck!'
-And you' look to see a wet patch on the crotch of his sweats. It looked like he pissed himself, the stain starting at least midway down his thigh-
-You imagined such a gigantic load being forced past your cervix. His cock had to be huge- fucking huge- with enough cum to spill for days after.
-'I'm-I'm cumming-' You'd squeak as the vibrator paired with Gyutaro's shame sent you spiraling. His head would snap up to watch-
-You'd leave with nothing but a thanks, and a small comment on how he needed to clean his room - The look of shock on his face borderline second orgasm worthy- He'd already gotten hard again. He wanted to go- wanted you.
-But he'd get a text from you later that night. You'd be at a party- like he knew you were supposed to be.
-'Lol' would accompany a photo of you in a slutty little dress next to Tengen Uzui and those three bimbos always by his side. It would dock his confidence, send him spiraling- panicking-
-But it'd be there...a thin little wire peaking out from between your thighs.
-You'd send him your address and hope he'd have the balls to do something about it.
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tealfloyd · 26 days
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THE PREFECT'S SHOW #1 — TRAVELLING WITH CROWLEY: 0/10
It's not often you go to holiday vacations with your teachers. While some may consider that possibility an interesting situation, you can't say the same for a certain masked headmage.
CONTENT: Crowley + Crewel (Platonic). They're trying to be good father figures; Crowley fails in the process. NUMBER OF WORDS: 1,5k.
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“Fun fact,” you started, stirring the coffee you brought with you as you sat down, placing it on the table. “Heartslabyul students don't drink coffee because they have a rule against it. It's kind of like a forbidden drink, and if you consider the health risks, it's understandable. But this thing has been my lifesaver, and I'm no Heartslabyul student, so,” you continued sipping, “it's even better."
“What's up? Ramshackle Prefect here ready to tell the story about how my guardian almost left me behind at the airport during the holidays."
You took a large, final sip of your coffee before placing it aside, clearing your throat.
“To start, I want you to picture this: the holiday break is close, and the finals are over, resulting in happy students having the time of their life, including me. Now, ditch all that and replace it with overwhelming concern the moment Crowley asks for my assistance. Again."
“Headmage?” You asked, stepping inside Crowley's office, looking for his distintive figure everywhere. “Is something the matter?"
“Young MC," he abruptly said, causing you to jump in surprise as you turn to meet his gaze. You felt nervousness begin to creep up your spine upon inspecting his eyes, thinking the worst of scenarios due to how serious he was. Did Grim fail all the exams? Were you about to get expelled? Was he going to cut your allowance once more?
You definitely thought a lot of possibilities. None of them were good.
“You see. While finishing my plans for my upcoming vacations, I happened to encounter an extra-ticket I wasn't aware of, and what kind of headmaster would I be if not the one that makes sure his students are content with wonderful gifts?"
You tilted your head, confused at the implication. "I'm afraid I'm not following you."
"Dear Prefect," Crowley said, his flourished words becoming even more dramatic after your oblivious remark. "I'm inviting you to spend your holidays with me! Oh, how incredibly kind of me!"
Suspicion was the only thing that flooded you, one of the many reactions Crowley often caused in you when putting up questionable situations like these on the table. "You want me to accompany you on your vacations?" You asked, a million of possible scenarios running through your head. "Am I going to encounter some kind of mafia on your behalf—"
"I'd never do such a thing!"
"Asking the mafia for favors or send me off to pay your debt?"
"My, I'm only doing this because of my immense kindness!" He proclaimed, a huff leaving his lips upon seeing that you still hadn't given up on frowning. "Look. I'm aware that I may not have been the best of guardians, but I'm positive that this trip will bring none other than wonderful memories! So, what do you say?"
“I had my doubts," you fixed the camera briefly before continuing. “I think every person that has met Crowley would've had them. But it seemed genuine, so I said yes. However, the problem came after that."
"Absolutely not," Crewel remarked, his gloved hands graciously working on packing every single piece of attire he could find, not even stopping to acknowledge Crowley's proposal. "There's no way I'm letting you take MC to a different country, much less when I can't be there to watch over her."
"May I remind you that I'm perfectly able to care for MC? Why, if I'm perfectly suitable to be her father!" Crowley argued, his overdramatic words only causing Divus' vein to become more noticeable, his eye beginning to twitch.
"And may I remind you that the one who pays for her food and clothes is me?" Divus countered, trying to contain his frustration as to not damage the fragile dress he was preparing for an upcoming event. A gala that was going to be held on another country that featured his new winter designs, or so he told you. "If anything, I was going to invite her to spend her holidays with me."
"Totally inadmissible! The gentlemen code clearly stands up for the one who posed the invitation first."
"Well, I'm sure MC is going to agree with me," and right then and there, both of them turned to look at you at the same time, making you flinch in realization of what was about to come.
"Right?"
"I, uh..." You pondered for a moment, taking your time to think before sighing. "I think that I want to go with Crowley. Not because I favor him or something, but you have your gala, and I don't want to bother you. Plus, it'd be interesting if he stands for what he says."
Crewel sighed, walking a few long strides before standing right in front of you, a concerned expression on his features. "Are you completely sure? I won't have difficulties to take care of you if you do decide to come with me."
You smiled at him, reassuring his uneasiness. "I'm sure. You always told me that we mustn't judge before experiencing first, so I'm trying to abide by that."
"Oh, what an immensely great moment for a daughter and her kind father—"
"Stop that."
“Indeed. I trusted Crowley's invitation," you nodded, grimacing at the memory. "In my defense, I really thought it was going to be a chill vacation. Grim didn't complain much after I told him we were going to a tropical beach, given that he thought he was going to get a lot of free fish, and since Crewel had given Crowley his blessing—and a well-placed threat—all that was left was packaging and leaving."
"Let's focus on the leaving part."
“Are you sure we couldn't have just... I don't know, do something more humane than forcing him to sleep?" You asked Crowley, who was already in vacation mode, as you looked down at the cage Grim was in. For as kind as his invitation was, you surely didn't expect him to use his magic to put your little monster to sleep after he caused a fuss to not get put into "prison" (meaning, a cat cage); all this trouble just so he didn't have to pay for another ticket. Incredible.
"It's completely okay, Prefect! Little Grim will be more than elated once he sees that he hadn't had to withstand the horrors of turbulence," he responded, his apparently unharmful words to excuse himself enough to make you sigh.
"Whatever you say."
It took you both less than ten minutes to arrive to the waiting area, with you about to sit and relax before boarding time when Crowley spoke. "Prefect, can you be so kind to bring me some vittles? It's incredibly important to make sure to board with a full stomach."
"I don't know how factual that is, but okay," you nodded, leaving both Grim and your luggage (which wasn't much to begin with, at least compared to his much larger suitcase) on the chair next to him, walking to the nearest shop.
“Ten minutes." You brought a hand to your forehead, a heavy sigh leaving your mouth as you recalled the worst part of the story. "It took me ten minutes to grab everything that he and I might need, and apparently, in that short span of TEN MINUTES, an announcement went off informing everyone that our flight was boarding earlier."
"And guess what?"
Slamming your palm on the table, you raised your voice, filled with frustration. “Crowley had forgotten that I hadn't returned despite my belongings and Grim being in his hands! So, I was left alone in a crowded airport with no phone, no boarding ticket and no guardian, so, again, guess what I had to do."
“Excuse me," you politely called, drawing the attention of the woman sitting right at the information booth. “I would like to make an announcement, if possible. It's to call for my familiar; he got lost and I can't find him."
“Of course. Please make sure it's short." You thanked the lady, taking ahold of the intercom being handed to you before pressing the button.
“Dire Crowley. For the crime of leaving MC behind she is in the rightful obligation of telling Divus Crewel you abandoned her and thus, you're to be on the receiving end of his wrath. Thank you for your attention." After the announcement, you handed the communicator back to the information woman, smiling in response to her shocked expression. “Thank you very much."
“To be honest, I kept it classy. Not because I wanted to but because there were children around, but if it wasn't for them then I WOULD'VE TOLD HIM THAT HOW DOES HE DARE TO LEAVE ME BEHIND AT AN AIRPORT WITHOUT ANY MEANS OF COMMUNICATION AND WITH BARELY ENOUGH MONEY FOR A SANDWICH. YES, CROWLEY, I'M TALKING TO YOU, YOU ABSOLUTELY PIECE OF SH—"
Cue to your enraged self being cut off and replaced with a much more calmer one, playing with the edge of your cup.
“It was a hard day. Mostly because after he picked me up, I tripped and fell face-first on the floor. So, yeah, awesome day. I never had so much fun before."
"Crewel doesn't know this since I told him that I was having the time of my life. And, in contrast to what you may think after telling you all this, I did enjoy the rest of the trip; surprisingly enough, Crowley bought me an expensive souvenir as an "I'm sorry" gift." Grabbing a handmade figurine of a traditional character people in that island supposedly adored, you showcased it to the camera, pointing at a few, cheaply painted spots. "Yeah, he was probably scammed, but it's the thought that counts."
You placed it back on the table before returning your focus on the camera, a soft smile adorning your face.
“Well, the coffee is over, the story has been told and the time's up, so today's vlog has come to an end." And before disconnecting the camera, you made a peace sign. "Prefect out."
VIDEO OVER. WISH TO REPLAY?
DON'T REPOST.
EVERY CHARACTER BELONGS TO DISNEY AND YANA TOBOSO, AND I DON'T TAKE CREDIT FOR THEM.
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pankiebogs · 14 days
Text
ii16 spoilers under cut
MORE talk about fan similar to the other post because there is still a lot to say. This is more about what fan means to mephone
Compared to most of the other contestants, Fan wasn't originally created to BE a contestant, which I find most interesting. Fan was quite literally created to be a fan of the show and randomly appears in season 1 (and he also delivers food I guess). Even if Mephone4 consciously made Fan or not, his appearance and creation obviously meant Mephone wanted appreciation for the things he was making, as is Fan's main purpose and service to Mephone. Fan is technically a manifestation of Mephone's love for the show itself, but he is also expressing vulnerable happiness of which Mephone feels like he could not express properly considering his issues with vulnerability. This might be why he is so outwardly dismissive of Fan's strong emotional enthusiasm for the show!!
So Fan technically is a support Mephone desperately wants, but he can't respond well to- but this definitely means Mephone appreciates Fan's dedication as he quite literally wished for Fan to exist as he is, being such an engaged Fan. He expresses passion for the show in a way Mephone couldn't do himself! Fan gives Mephone support as complete opposite to what Mephone feels Cobs would have! And you know what else Cobs does that Fan has an extreme well known trait of disliking and being scared of? Change. Cobs constantly reinvents, makes new things, discards old things, but Fan latches on. He observes patterns, he begs for predictability, structure and consistency.
Another notable trait of Fan is his defensiveness. Even if he's not good at it, he's incredibly stubborn to protect his passion and love to no end, being incredibly irrational about it. Cobs is well. Yeah. Massive Passion Disliker. He don't gaf about that. Fan might've looked up to cobs and meeple, but god if he's not possibly a parallel that's the opposite. I'm going to walk into the ocean. Im forever gonna think about how fan was created to be a support. like his entire goddam purpose is to love something so much!!!! and give it so much attention! and he is having so much fun doing it!!! IT IS MAKING ME CRAZY!!!!
I'm not sure if the characters are partly "extensions" of Mephone or if they're Mephone projecting specific parts of himself, I believe most of all they are created from his desire (like, wanting a specific thing and that thing just appears for him if this is done unintentionally,) but either way I enjoy thinking about what each trait that manifested for Fan's character specifically would resonate with Mephone's experiences and why he would create him with those traits. or something.
My working theory is that Mephone labeled each character in his mind as one thing, such as "the jerk" for Knife and nothing more, letting the contestants take their own shape and personality as they gain more experience on the show, which I feel is validated through Lightbulb saying "I don't think we were all there yet" once seeing the season 1 contestants in alternate reality show! They build more of their personality as it goes along. I think Mephone has minimal control of the contestants personality wise after he's generated them, but i do think he influences their memories or experience with time or something?? I dont know. guess we will all see. Also this somehow isn't about fan anymore wow that's weird actually who am i where am i
relevant drawing. Time to collapse to my knees over this shit again
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savannahsdeath · 11 months
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hii i love ur work!! id love to read about chess player!ellie x chess player!reader hate fucking the shit out of each other after one of them wins the tournament 🤭🤭
"You're not as boring as I thought...
...you are not as bright, either."
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warnings: 18+!! edging, brat!reader, slight mean!ellie, dom!ellie, sub!reader, yeah js.. smut
writers note: i never told u guys before but pspsp.. i play chess !! so surprising right🤭🤭 and yes i used dominiques quote because . and . also ...,.
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"what the fuck was that, huh?" she asked with a serious, cold tone. and maybe you'd even bother to answer, if she wasn't about nine inches deep in you. you rolled your eyes with a quiet whimper. "what? gonna throw a tantrum? i'm the one who should be mad. shit— i am fuckin' mad."
"see, el— maybe..." you hiccuped, managing to fully open your half-lidded eyes for a second. "maybe i'm just... better."
"better?" her eyes widened in shock, because even though she knew how much of a brat you can be she wasn't expecting that.
at some point, you were right. on the other hand, you didn't have to rub it in her face like that.
⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆
you could tell she had studied the art of offensive chess for quite some time. she would frequently sacrifice her pieces to gain control of the center of the board, relying on her opponent's hesitations to gain a positional advantage. however, her tactics had limitations.
as you continued to play defensively, her attacks became more predictable, and you were able to counter them. while you wondered how she had reached this level, you had to admit that her strategy would work perfectly against a not patient or uncertain opponent. time didn't matter to you, not as much as to your rival, so you easily took advantage of it.
she looked either bored or amused most of the time, keeping the atmosphere more relaxed than it should be. "...so those girls like chess players, y'know? they're just so easy-"
"focus." you cut her off in an indifferent tone. the fact that she wasn't paying much attention to your moves, busy with talking, was good, but her rambling also distracted you. you clicked the little button on the clock, signaling it's ellie's turn. "i get it, people like smart girls." you mumbled, leaning back in your chair. "are you one of them, though?" you continued in a doubting voice, unintentionally insulting her.
her usual smirk didn't leave her face but you could see her bite the inside of her cheek in slight annoyance or even frustration. "i'm gonna show you." she nodded, as if to reassure herself with a silent 'yeah, just you wait!' which you couldn't help but laugh at. well, maybe not laugh, but chuckle under your breath. your comment must really bother her, to the point you ruined her offensive tactic.
"you're not as boring as i thought..." you scanned the board through your firm gaze, searching for any potential threats. you straightened up, propping your elbows on the small table and laying your head on your hands, impatiently tapping your cheeks. as soon as she clicked the little knob you already knew what'll your move be, so you quickly extended your hand. "you're not as bright, either." you picked up your knight, tauntingly pattering it through the squares, mimicking a real horse. finishing the L-shaped distance seemed to take you ages, though it was really less than four seconds. you let go of it, making a muffled knocking sound as it hit the wooden board. "checkmate." you whispered, folding your hands and tilting your head.
you took a moment to take in her reaction, which, much to your disappointment, wasn't an interesting scene. in fact, her smirk only widened as she looked at the clock and saw what led to this - her reckless haste. she hummed and shook your hand, what showed that she agreed with the score.
"how could i not notice that?" she smiled, letting you know it doesn't matter to her. you started to wonder about her strange behaviour, which seemed weird compared to the known, easy to piss off ellie williams. and just then, you understood everything's how it should be. her grip on your hand painfully tightened, as if to prove that your suspicion is correct.
⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆
you felt her strap slid out of you, leaving your cunt hopelessly clenching around nothing. you raised your head, letting out a needy whimper and hoping to see what was she's up to. "els—"
"shut up." she murmured as she parted your thighs, revealing herself between them. she leaned down to have your slit at her eye level, with a quiet growl. "you're such a—" her tongue ran up and down your lips, collecting most of the slick you have accumulated. she looked up at you with a proud smirk. "fuckin' slut."
your fingers uncontrollably tangled with her hair, tugging on it while your free hand gripped the bed sheets. your cunt was still sensitive after being filled with her strap, so her soothing tongue felt comfortingly painful. she lightly sucked on your clit, forcing a desperate moan out of you.
"so you're the smart one? is that right?" she asked, her voice interrupted by either your little gasps or her breaks to plant another kiss on your core. "why don't you say something smart then?" her mocking tone echoed in your head as you tried to form a sentence. before you could, she stuck her tongue in your throbbing hole, making your thighs snap shut. she quickly helped them regain to their previous position, not pulling her hands away for longer than needed as if she wanted to make sure her fingers will leave a reminder, in form of at least reddening your sensitive skin or, most likely, giving you some bruises.
you felt your climax approaching so soon it felt embarrassing, truly embarrassing. you started babbling nonsense as your cunt clenched around her tongue, which continued to fuck in and out of you.
the amazing feeling suddenly left, replaced by her thumb roughly circling your clit. you watched as she sat up and smiled down at you, licking her lips in a temptingly slow way. the brat living inside of you was the first one to speak up, huffing out her name in an obviously annoyed gesture.
"c'mon." she cooed in a mockingly sweet voice, making sure her thumb is doing a good job. good job at torturing, ruining and making you even more desperate, if that's even possible. "what would a smart girl say in your situation?" she clicked her tongue, making you feel all the control you had slid out between your fingers and sink into the bed sheets. no matter how much you didn't want to admit it, someone finally managed to make you feel hopeless.
"but, ellie, look—" you whined, trying to take as much satisfaction from the touch she was giving you, but it only seemed like a pathetic version of what you could have. you could have way more. you needed way more.
"i don't want to hear any buts." she stopped her thumb, hardly pressing it against your clit, staring at you with stern and serious eyes which you weren't used to see from her. "we both know what a smart girl should say, yeah? aren't you one? are you admitting you're just a slut?" she sighed as if she was disappointed in you.
you shook your head, closing your eyes from the mix of all possible emotions; from embarrassment to proudness. "please, need— need you and... oh, please, ellie..." you broke, begging for more in the most miserable way imaginable.
she bitterly laughed, murmuring an amused "god, you're really a slut" under her breath. her thumb left your clit and both of her hands found their place on your thighs, making you hiss at the touch of your earlier irritated skin. you whined, the sound of your rambling slowly drifting away and getting replaced by just as beautiful moans. you heard her voice but you didn't really understand what she said, nor paid any attention to it, as your mind went blank. your hips kept waving up and down, trying to add to the feeling. your miserable attempts earned either a chuckle or scoff from ellie, but she didn't even try to stop you, enjoying this as much as you.
hooking up with bimbo's might be easy, but making a mess out of a girl smarter than her was way more satisfying.
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yourjughead · 8 months
Text
Attack Dog
Sweet Pea X Reader enemies to lovers
Synopsis: You return to Riverdale to find your best friend Jughead has joined a gang he said he never would. A certain member of said gang takes an interest in you in return
A/N: This was a draft from years ago. It's set when the Serpents join Riverdale high (a throwback) but also somehow their senior year....
This is very long, apologies.
Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4 Pt. 5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You piled your books into your locker, the Monday dew still cascading the halls. Groggily going about your business but happy to be finally back in Riverdale High. You had moved back on Friday night with your family and had already seen most of your friends that same night. After moving around so much with both your parents in the army it was nice to finally replant your roots.
“Ah yn, how I have missed you standing there" Archie threw himself against the locker smiling.
“I missed you too Archiedoodles, do you think we can go see Jughead today?” Archie had decided to keep you away from Jughead for as long as possible, he didn't quite think you'd want to see who had become. 
“Emm I don't know, he's kinda busy lately” 
“Too busy for me...did you hear that?” It was like a scene from a film. The banging of the hallway doors and entered the Serpents, their new school. You and Archie looked to see the swarm before Archie could see who was leading them.
“Oh hey YN look at this locker door” he turned you against the lockers by the shoulders.
“Archie what the hell” you laughed pushing against him to turn and see Jughead striding past you 
“Juggy!” 
“Yn!?” You ran over to him, interrupting his new hard core image, giving him a giant hug. 
“What the hell are you doing back?” he smiled greatly shock still colouring him.
“Mom's done with the Army so she moved us back, dad still has a few more years but that's okay, I'm back! What are you doing here Arch said you moved schools?”
“School moved us”
“Us?” It was then you noticed the sward behind him and the leather jackets they wore. You took a step back, all of them eyeing you.
“Oh….umm” Archie joined your side, the group glaring at him harshly. 
“I thought you said you'd never jo-”
“-uh yn this isn't the place for this conversation” Jughead interrupted you.
“Well then make it the place Jughead” a chorus of oohs from behind him followed.
“Come on yn let's go, you must meet Veronica” Archie wrapped an arm around you breaking the stare off you and Jughead were having.
~
The day flowed on and you avoided Jughead as much as possible, until the final bell rang and he cornered you outside your car.
“Yn we need to talk”
“I'd love to talk to Jughead, let me know when you see him will you?” you opened the car door but he closed it again, almost catching your fingers in it. You sighed loudly at his action.
“Yn it is still same the Jughead-”
“Really?! I remember a Jughead who hated the Serpents and what they did to his dad and how they're basically the reason his family is in two! I remember a Jughead who promised he'd never get caught up in that world! Because you sir, are not him!” you jabbed your finger into his chest.
“Hey Jones you coming?” A tall serpent called from across the carpark.
“Just a second! Yn this shouldn't be a big deal, so I have a family now, it doesn't matter!”
“You have a family now?! What am I then?! And Archie and Betty?! We were your family, your friends….” you looked down at the ground and he looked desperately at you, the tall Serpent called him from the background again before beginning to stride over. 
“YN, I don't want to have this conversation in front of the Serpents, I have to keep a strong front for them” you rolled your eyes at him as Sweet Pea reached his side. You couldn't help but glare at him and he gave a small laugh. 
“Jones, who's the attack dog?”
“Listen here Snake Brain-” 
“YN, leave it!” Jughead cut across you earning another laugh from Sweet Pea, you began to seethe at your old best friends defence of his new family member. 
“Just call me when you feel like being yourself again” you breathed out the words until your lungs nearly emptied, moving to open the car again to be stopped by Sweet Peas voice 
“i think the snake skin is him Princess-”
“Don't you have some drugs to deal to children or something -” you cut across him this time.
“And what is that supposed to mean?” Sweet Pea raised an eyebrow, smile now long gone. Jughead looked between the two of you
“I meant what I said, or is the leather jacket cutting off the blood flow to your ears”
“Listen I don't know you Princess but you're not exactly making a good impression-”
“I don't give a fuck what you think about me, you seem to care a lot about what I think about you though” more Serpents seemed to join around, panic began to rise in Jughead, his attempted to stop Sweet Pea but Sweet Peas voice came harsher.
“You're seriously misguided Princess” 
“And you're seriously what's wrong with Riverdale” you said through gritted teeth, receiving scoffs from the gathering Serpents but Sweet Pea stated unreadable eyes fixed on you. 
“Guys just relax, YN I'll call you later” Jughead reached for your arm but you moved took a step back.
“Don't bother”
For the remainder of the week you avoided Jughead and the rest of them, instead spending time with your friends you missed so much. Catching up with all the chaos that had gone down since you left 3 years ago, and there was a lot. It was nice to feel like a senior around your friends, how it should be. You were shocked that for the most part everyone was understanding of Jughead joining the Serpents, you couldn't really understand it. Jughead continued to try to text or call you until you had enough. You needed a break from it, leaving your phone turned off on your dresser before putting on your runners. 
You tried to process how you felt as you jogged through Riverdale, trying to remember your old route. You were zoned out of the world as your legs took you from a jog to run, the burn growing from your thighs down to your shins. You had been out for an hour or so now and by the third wrong turn you landed out of your subconsciousness and back to the world in front of you. Lost. How could you forget the town you grew up in. Suddenly you became very aware of the dark night that had closed around you. You looked around for anywhere still open, only a gruby bar was in your sights. They probably had a phone you thought, walking right past the fading sign of the Whyte Wyrm. 
Upon approach you noticed the large amount of motorbikes outside the door.  Then the amount of Serpents jackets and their owners flowing in and out of the bar. Shit you thought. You turned to leave back through the carpark you just walked through and instead crashed directly into an older Serpent and his pint of larger, sending it all over him. 
“What the fuck?!” He half yelped at the cold hitting his chest. You stuttered apologies as you moved to walk past him. Instead he caught your wrist with bone crushing force. Without realising what you were doing, you sent the heel of your hand straight up and into his nose, contorting it completely. He shouted before releasing you and you moved from his shadow, other Serpents witnessing the incident and gathering quickly. You begged your tired legs to bring you running back to the main road as some began to follow you shouting. 
Sweet Pea walked around the wall of the car park boarder and was immediately confused by the several Serpents beginning to run towards his direction. You didn't even take notice of him as you ran past, your leg then spasming, sending you my into the pavement. He didn't know where to look. You pulled yourself cursing behind the pillar of the entrance, resting your head again the cement of its support, preparing to get mangled by Serpents. 
“Sweet Pea!” An older woman shouted his name bringing his attention from you and your attention to him. 
“Ehh yes Penny?” 
“Did you see a girl, Y/C/H, this tall or so” the woman made a guestimate of your height with her hand. You held your breath as Sweet Pea fought every instinct to not look down at you. 
“Emm I did see someonel go over the hedges towards the back there, maybe thats her?” 
“Great, she just broke one of the Seniors noses, girls dead meat” shock painted Sweet Peas face and he tried not to laugh at the thought. The woman then gave a wave before running off with the others in the direction he sent them. He exhaled loudly, looking at where you once were sat, now empty. Sweet Pea looked quickly to find your shadow hobbling down the road you think you came down. He gave a small laugh, rolled his eyes and began to jog to catch up with you. 
Part 2
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winterrhayle · 3 months
Text
an incomplete list of things that i am very very very very very very very intrigued and excited about being visually portrayed in the tlc adaption:
BIOELECTRICAL MANIPULATION. HOW will they portray this??? because its animated i could imagine them doing some like visual effects like squiggly lines or something (kinda into the spiderverse spidey-sense esque) OR they could show it in the way it would look irl, by just showing the impact of the manipulation on the person however i would imagine that this would be really really difficult to show as the audience needs to know when someone is acting by their own accord and who is acting due to manipulation,, this is so intriguing to me genuinely
LUNAR FASHION ! specially in the scenes during winter at levana and kai's wedding, i think the clothing and hair and makeup would be so fun to look at as the aristocrats' clothing is so ornate, and as its animation there really aren't any limits to what they do with that
cinder's vision, with her constant information trickling in with the orange lie detector, heart monitor, internal portscreen etc etc, i kinda imagine them doing a lot of scenes from her POV, where we can see what is happeining through her eyes, and this would be specially interesting in particular scenes like when her cybernetic and natural vision are fighting against eachother to try and figure out how levana really looks, and the scene where cinder is doing some insane multitasking fighting the guards + wolf soldiers while escaping artemisia palace and jumping into the lake
the character designs for the fully modified wolf soldiers, i've always found them kinda difficult to picture personally so i would be very interested in looking at how they're portrayed here
general scene setting like : new beijing market, the artemisia and new beijing palaces, cress' sattelite, the rampion, the abandoned paris opera house fight scene, farafrah, benoit farms, etc etc etc, you get the gist. i feel like tlc has so much potential with these visuals specially because theyre in the future, so the fashion could go in any difrection, and you'd see futuristic things around like the hover cars and maybe like, subtle things like people scanning their wrists (with their ID chips) to pay for things im yapping i know but i just love the world building so much
winter's hallucinations, it would be interesting for it to switch between what she sees, eg a scene where the walls are bleeding and they could do some like spirally camera work around her and then it could cut to another characters POV, like jacin where you can see how it really looks, it would be cool juxoposition and it would be really helpful to get into winters head (as she has the shortest time on paper out of all the characters :(((( SIGH)
they could do a cool thing with the selene / cinder connection, i said yelled my ideas in the tags of this post here, its in all caps sorry lmaooo i got a little excited
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anyway these are just off the top of my head there are definitely more,, but if u guys have any more please please please please share i would loveeee to hear
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berk-brain-rot · 7 months
Text
So Berk posted a video of some poems that never made it into Lazarus Rises and I wanted to talk about my favorite one.
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It's this, it's this one.
If you're just here to read the poem, fair, it's amazing and stands on it's own, honestly click the link and read the rest of them, because they're all so good!
If you're here as a fellow-feral-unhinged-raccoon and want to read my honestly unneeded analysis, it's below the cut.
Oh my god. Are you kidding me?? This was a poem that didn't pass the cut??? And it's this good?????? (Once again I feel justified in telling literally every person who spends five minutes in conversation with me about how good of a poet Berk is)
Honestly though, this is one of my favorites of the poems in that video, because it's so short, it's so simply written, and this says so much that I feel like I could write an entire essay on each of the lines themselves and their meanings (I honestly might anyways but I'm not gonna subject you guys to those rambles)
"Life loves Death"
In the same way you can't help but love an impossible task you just want to give up but that at this point is the only company you truly remember and the only thing you know how to work towards.
"Life loves Death"
In the same way we can't help but try and find meaning in beauty in the thing that truly only takes from us, because if there isn't meaning and beauty in our pain, then why the fuck do we have it?
"Life loves Death"
As something we can't take seriously. As something we truly don't understand the risks of until it's too late. As something that for some of us, we rush forward to with joy and open arms because we think it'll feel like the warm embrace of the sun but instead all we are met with is the cold cold ocean.
"Life loves Death"
As a burden, a burden that some claim is a gift. A burden enforced upon us poor poor sinners by a god in punishment. Am I talking about Apollo or Jesus? Both, neither of them, I don't believe in either, but I mean no one believed Cassandra either.
"Life loves Death"
As a needed tool, as a part of every flower we decide to put in a vase, as every dye we put in paint, as every food we are forced to consume and as the tool that at the end of the days ends up changing us.
Also something something, gods punishing poor sinners for wanting to enjoy life something something an apple and a weaving contest being the show of ultimate pride something something I don't have religious trauma you do
Like do you get it???? Do you see how insane this is??? How much information they've packed into six lines???
And I'm not even gonna go over the way Life and Death are capitalized and personified, you all already know how I feel about how impressive it is they do that, but regardless, this poem is amazing and you can pry it out of my coffin-bloodied-cold-dead hands.
As always, the source is always more interesting than anything I have to say, so if you haven't yet, go read Lazarus Rises(amongst other things) and follow them on their Tumblr @icaruspendragon because they write so many cool things beyond just their published book.
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t-5seconds · 3 months
Text
i'm doing a hunger games simulator of @linked-maze ! game under the cut- although i hit the tumblr image limit, so i will need to reblog this (here's a link to the reblog with the rest of the game in it)
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here's the lineup! i needed 24 characters, but linked maze doesn't quite have that many characters yet- so, some characters are in here twice, in both their hylian and animal forms. this gives them twice the chance to win, good odds, but in the hunger games, it's less about odds and more about blind luck. let's go!
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a lot of running away from the bloodbath. a reasonable but boring course of action
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a lot of weapon gathering as well, but still no violence. maybe this will be the first ever peaceful bloodbath
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more running, and koridai steals a mace from wolfy! i didn't know wolfy had hands
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wow. i can't believe it. a bloodbath with literally no blood. they all just ran away. onto day 1, let's see how long the peace lasts
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the peace did NOT last. wolf time attacks hylian time, despite the fact that A: they are on the same team and B: they're literally the same person. but both times survive. meanwhile, sheerow gets the first kill! rip minish
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compass kills hyrule (the hylian. fairy hyrule is still in the game)! meanwhile, everyone robs wind
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at the end of day 1, friendship blooms on the battlefield. that's nice
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minish and hyrule are dead. sheerow and compass have one kill each, meaning they're currently tied for first place!
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shadow makes four kill wolf time, but he spares bunny bunny! why did shadow do that to his own teammate? i don't know. at least hylian time is still alive. also, twilight kills wind. poor wind, everyone raided his camp and then he died.
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wild dies in a frozen lake... yeah, cold water is like the #1 most deadly thing in botw and totk, that's fair. rip. and djaevel kills warrior! i would not have thought he could do that, but i guess i thought wrong
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SHEEROW KILLS AGAIN! bunny is dead (the hylian one. bunny the bunny is fine). ravio lets time into his shelter, which i personally think is a bad idea but maybe it will work out. now for day 2
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twilight runs away from ravio. i think twilight would win that fight but i guess he's not as sure as i am
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sheerow continues to be a menace. now that wind is dead, everyone's stealing from four instead. djaevel falls in a hole and dies, which is embarrasing for him, and that's the end of day 2! 6 people died
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despite the deaths, no teams are wiped out yet. sheerow is in first place! for now. onto night 2
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i guess ravio letting time into his shelter did pay off after all! time is now extending kindness to world, and ravio gets to stay in someone else's shelter too
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everyone has a bad night. maybe sheerow is experiencing guilt for his murdering ways, and angel might be mourning djaevel, since he fell in a hole and died
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how did bunny start a fire? why did he cook his food, when bunnies do not need to do that? a mystery for the ages. onto day 3
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navi kills twilight! everyone else (including wolfy) just kind of runs around thinking about murder
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sheerow and koridai both discover a cave. is it the same cave? who knows! meanwhile angel does exactly what she usually does. a short and uneventful day (except for twilight dying, i guess)
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sheerow is still in first place! and there are still no eliminated teams. time for night 3
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four spares sky. angel dies of hypothermia? i guess she is naked, and it's cold. bunny cooks his food again. why does he keep doing that
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fairy friends! compass kills spirit! sheerow (who is a bird) loses sight of where he is, even though he can FLY. and that's the end of the night!
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everyone's doing well. or as well as they can be, given the circumstances
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bunny the bunny plans murder. what a short day!
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sheerow and compass are back to being tied for first! in an interesting twist, the first team to be wiped out was the twili siblings, followed shortly by wind and spirit.
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fairy hyrule spares compass, despite the fact that she killed hylian hyrule. time lets a wolf into his shelter like an idiot
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end of night 4! that was pretty short. hopefully day 5 is exciting
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day 5 is very short, but it is a little exciting! world makes sheerow kill koridai, putting sheerow back in first place!
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district two, minish and koridai's team, is wiped out. i'm starting to think sheerow is going to win, but you never know. onto night 5
(in the a reblog, because i hit the tumblr image limit. see the rest of the game here)
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tbhimnoteasyonmyself · 7 months
Text
WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH PHEE?
(and other equally puzzling things)
An EXTREMELY EXTENSIVE Post-Episode 10 Analysis/Theory
So, okay. Episode 10 was A LOT. Like... A LOT, A LOT. And a lot of this lot seems... Weird as fuck. So many odd choices were made in the narrative.
Top's drugged manipulation; White pulling info about shrooms out of his ass; Fluke becoming a victim of involuntary drug abuse ghosts of his past and begging for mercy after "all he did to Non"... But nothing beats Phee's OOC moments in ep.10 while he's alone with Jin.
Which is what compels me to make this post. Because this series has been nothing but the richness of detail and now suddenly... It's all over the place? Call it wishful thinking (or Last Twilight trauma) but I don't think so. And it mostly comes down to: Phee. And whatever his "agenda" is.
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PS: All screenshots of the show I use (and I will use a lot) will have been brightened because this show is FUCKING DARK, BOYYYYYY and I don't think y'all deserve to force your sight at 3AM to enjoy my posts.
WHAT HAPPENS AND WHY IT'S SUSPICIOUS
So? What does Phee say and do when he's alone with Jin in ep.10 and why am I suspicious of it?
It's hard to say for sure. But we can base ourselves off of 3 things: what we hear him say, what Jin replies to him and the flashbacks (no, they're not just there to fill in time for this very short episode, they serve a narrative purpose).
So let's do this analysis following the order in which things are shown to us, shall we?
First of all, we get a short flashback. The events are as follows:
Phee and New go to see the gang's film
New approaches Phee and they talk
New and Phee decide to try and figure out what happened to Non by infiltrating the group
New and Phee join the gang's school and start asking questions
Jin decides to leave Thailand
New suggests going to Por's mansion for the goodbye party
Phee questions New in the lab about his decisions
New suggests using their homemade drug on the group as a truth serum
Phee asks if the drug is deadly and New denies it
Although we don't hear Phee tell this to Jin, Jin does reply very angrily something along the lines of "and you just let him carry on with it? why didn't you stop him? what the fuck is wrong with y'all???", so we can assume we've been shown what Phee told him.
So far, it's very unsuspicious. We've been shown these events before in the actual flashbacks so we can be fairly sure all of that is true.
It starts to get suspicious, however, when Phee replies to him: "There's so much more that you don't understand. About Non, and Tan".
And I think Jin feels the vibe too because, the man standing on his tall pillar of morality and righteousness /s, says he'll give Phee another chance to cut the bullshit and tell him everything. And so Phee sighs and the dreaded narration of ✨New's Murderous Adventures✨ starts.
So Phee tells Jin (and consequently us) that:
Phee and New set up a bunch of cameras to spy on the gang
New drugged the drinks
It was supposed to end when everyone was high at the party but New didn't follow the plan
New deleted the camera files
Phee kept drugging the group
Por's injury wasn't an accident but a trap that he thinks New set
New's drug enhances people's inner fears
Phee "never thought New would be so cruel with Uncle Dang"
New drugged Top at the temple
New must've left the hard disk for White to find
By the time he figured New's plan, there was nothing he could do about it (and we see him looking distressed at New's arrival at the house)
Now, here we have some interesting things. Let me list them for you.
Why would Phee keep drugging the group after Por got hurt?? If, as he claims, he didn't mean for people to get hurt, why would he keep people on drugs while a man is dying on the couch? Especially when the guy you're on a revenge mission with is ELIMINATING THE CONTENT OF THE CAMERA RECORDINGS!! That sure isn't gonna help anyone survive!
How does Phee know about Top??? He and Jin never saw Top arrive at the house. For all they know, that bro is lost in the woods. Right??
HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW WHITE GOT THE HARD DRIVE??? There's no signal in the woods. We've established that. When White tells Tee and New about his actions they're ALONE. The only other person there is LITERALLY THE MASKY (I'm calling the masked person that for convenience, it's shorter. besides, it seems the fandom has been calling them that anyways, so... yeah). So how does he know? How does he know???
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And in that same fucking sequence: THE MASKY TRIES TO HURT NEW!!! But if New told Top to hurt everyone who hurt Non, why would he hurt him??? And why, my friends, WHY would he SAVE TEE, when he's the only witness of those events??? It would be so easy to just say the masky killed Tee and he couldn't save him... Is it 4D chess??? Is it a different masky??? Or, is it simply not true that New did that?
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It's very confusing, weird and suspicious. But let's wait it out, guys, because there's more to PheeJin in the temple.
After this odd-ass narration, they're back to having a convo. Which goes as follows:
Jin (very validly) asks Phee what the fuck is wrong with him and New
Phee says he'd never allow them to go if he knew New was going for murder instead of just confessions ("you can hate me if you want but I never wanted anyone to get hurt, I swear" or whatever he said)
Jin asks if Tan is New and Phee is Non's boyfriend
Phee confirms Jin's suspicions and even adds that "p'New came back from England"
Jin asks if they ever saw the group as their friends
Phee says they wanted to infiltrate the group to find the truth because they didn't know shit about what happened to Non and it's haunting them (good choice of words there, very subtle /s)
Phee explains his motivation, stating he told Non to "get lost and die"
Jin confesses to recording the child grooming revenge porn tape and posting it on Twitter (-_-)
Jin explains his motivation, saying he respected Non's relationship (by constantly making moves on him?) but couldn't stand him cheating on Phee (so he one-upped him by committing not one but two actual severe crimes?)
Phee appears to be mad and disgusted so he says "Fuck. So we both were the ones who hurt Non?", gets up and starts pacing (oh no! the big boy is angy~~~ /s)
Jin gets up like a sad wet cat
Phee randomly finds an axe and takes some exposition out of his ass by stating "this must be Tan's axe that he keeps as a spare. But it's good"
Phee breaks the gate
So by this point Phee's whole speech sounds a bit insane, considering the type of person we've seen he is. Not to mention he just INSTANTLY calms down upon finding an axe and just decides to move on. Like ??? Excuse me??? If that ain't weird then idk what is. Like, sure, Phee is a very confusing and confused character (as better explored by @crysta1ized in this post). He seems to have his heart divided between many things and they could all be pulling at his strings there. HOWEVER, we have to remember Phee's also THIS guy:
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Does this look like the kind of person who would just move on after a (perceived) treason? Does he??
And, the thing about this is that it gets worse.
After the scene cuts back from the house, Pheejin are lost in the damn woods (parallels to New and Tee? mayhaps, man, mayhaps...) These are the events there:
Phee is back to supporting Jin's weight with his body while they walk (which makes no fucking sense bc Jin hurt his SHOULDER which is a part of his UPPER BODY so there's no reason why he couldn't walk on his own but okay, sure)
They make no progress walking for a while, even despite trying to mark the places they've already been at
Jin is very upset that Phee's not very good at navigating through unknown forests at night
Phee, however, is very understanding and says: "Jin. I told you that I would be the one who would protect you. So I'll get you out of here" then PROCEEDS TO HOLD HANDS with him and continues with: "Right now, our friends are waiting for us to help them. So, you must stay strong. Believe in me"
Jin nods (because, despite trying to play the apathetic bitch, he's a softie and very much has feelings™)
PheeJin finally find the exit of the fucking forest
DO Y'ALL SEE HOW SOMETHING'S VERY WRONG WITH PHEE HERE??? Bro's not just acting weird (that would be fine, we love weirdos. *looks at New and winks* <3), he's abnormal. He's not acting like himself.
So, before I jump into trying to make some sense out of all of this, I'll just add the last scene of PheeJin alone in ep.10, last anyone come tell me I missed it:
They're arriving at the mansion
Jin falls down
Phee abandons the axe to help him
I don't think this one is particularly relevant to analyse Phee's character in this episode (although the axe is certainly relevant for other plots and our dear 9th person) but it's there. After this, they're back in the house with everyone and Por's rotting corpse.
PHEE IS HIDING THINGS
So what the fuck happened, really? Well, a lot. Some are easier, I think, to interpret, some aren't but regardless, there was a lot going on with Phee. To make this very complex thing a bit easier to understand, I'll start from the things I think are a bit easier to explain and/or are more solid and then I'll move from there towards the rest of this mess. Okay? Ok- (gets shot bc I hate John Green).
One thing for me that's nearly set in stone is that Phee, at the very least, isn't telling Jin everything. If he was, then the flashbacks would've started with PheeNon's falling love montage but they don't. They start at the cinema. Plus, Jin has to ask if Phee is Non's boyfriend and Tan is New, like he's piecing things by himself. If Phee had told him that, he wouldn't need to ask. AND Phee would've have referred to New as New during his whole monologue but he did not. He kept saying "Tan". He only started doing so after Jin asked the question and he confirmed Tan was New.
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Curiously enough, he also never mentions the antidote he knows exists and KNOWS New brought along. And that neither of them ever used on the others.
The million-dollar question here is then, naturally: why? Various reasons, I believe.
1st of all I think we have to account for the feels. Phee is definitely in a weird ass zone with Jin but it's something. And he feels that something (whatever it is. believe me I could make an entire post about that shit, it's so fucking complex, man, and it only gets worse this episode). He likes Jin, even if he tries not to or if he dislikes that he likes him. It's undeniable. So yes, of course, he doesn't want Jin to hate his guts more than necessary.
But also... We cannot forget why Phee himself is there: to find out what happened to Non. And what does he get out of the conversation he has with Jin? That's right. A confession.
Now, I don't think it's the confession he expected if his reactions are anything to go by:
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I mean... If this is not the face of a man thinking "well, shit", then idk what it is. And also because, idk if it's a subtitle error or not, but he seems to ask "what did you three do?" when he's inquiring about the events of the past, so...
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Someone is being excluded.
Still, I think it's super possible he was hoping to get something out of it. After all, even if he assumes Jin is innocent in his actions, I don't think he's excluding him from having knowledge of what went down. That would make his positive bias even sillier.
So yeah, sure, I bet Phee feels genuinely guilty and it hurts him to be in the situation he's in and he definitely wants to be in a good place in terms of his relationship with Jin, especially because, as he said, he doesn't know if they can get out of the temple. But also... As Ta (Phee's actor) himself said in an interview: Phee can be really manipulative (I can't find the damn interview rn but, during my search, I found @raelle-writing had also mentioned it in this post, so I think it's enough to say I didn't dream that shit). You know... 2 things can be true at once.
Which brings me to the next part:
PHEE IS LYING
That whole talk of "I never thought he would hurt you", "if I had known I wouldn't have let you come", blah, blah, blah. That's some major BULLSHIT.
Phee knew exactly what New was capable of. At least, on a subconscious level. After all, if my friends started being murdered, my 1st assumption would not be that my best friend did it. Unless, of course, my best friend was spiralling down to madness, constantly using drugs to see his dead brother and answering shit like this:
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With a smirk on, when I ask him if the absynthe is gonna kill our friends. Because yeah, sure, I guess the green won't kill them. But you can't tell me this motherfucker wouldn't. He definitely would. And if we can infer that, so does Phee, who has been living with him as his close friend for the last 3 years.
In fact, the very fact that he feels the need to ask whether or not the drugs will kill the gang is proof enough that he, to some extent and, whether or not he's aware of it, KNOWS that's, at least, a possibility. Knows that's something New would do.
So yeah, he's perhaps not just lying to Jin (but also to himself) or not intentionally lying, but he's lying nevertheless. Phee knew this was a possibility. He knew New was capable of stuff like that. And when he pieces the story together, that's him admitting, even if no one realizes, that he knew it. And that he let it happen, in fact, because he never tried to stop the drugging. Or talked to New about what was going on (you'd think if he had that he would've told Jin in that situation). His biggest weapon is his knowledge and he chose not to swing the sword sooner. How very Fluke of him, isn't it? Especially because now 2 people are dead and that's on New, right? Right???
Not necessarily.
NEW IS NOT A MURDERER (initially)
You see, for all we see New is fine with death and murder in episodes 9 and 10, he makes it clear his nº1 goal is to figure out what happened to Non when he gets in front of a fucking firearm to harass Tee into talking.
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So why would he talk Top into murder? Why would Top attack him?? Why would he kill Uncle Dang?? And why, on the goddamn Earth, would he eliminate the recordings in the house when his whole motivation is
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(Thank you, hallucination Non <3) to expose them??? Especially when the only other person who knew about the hidden cameras was Phee. It makes no sense! Sure, he might've contemplated the murder, but on a later phase of the plan, I think. The priority was, always, to get them to confess on camera so he could later use the recordings to expose them to the country and clear Non's image. 'Cause we cannot forget, while the people close to Non don't buy the bullshit TV news sensationalist story (and, therefore, are searching for the truth), the rest of the country thinks Non is a slut who ran away with mafia money and his teacher (because, like @delululover explains in this post: Asian culture tends to normalize grooming of older teens and even blame them for the situation).
So what are we seeing when Phee narrates the events? Well, probably just Phee's guesses.
He thinks New is deranged and has drugs and that Top is missing and now they're being attacked by this person, who is conveniently wearing a mask. So he guesses that's Top. Plus, he doesn't know New was attacked by Masky in the middle of the forest.
He knows, like everyone else, that New had the hard drive. And, when Top and New go out in the woods with the bike he remains in the house. So, it's possible he saw the hard drive there where New left it before he went out.
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And, because the only 2 people remaining in the house, as far as Phee knows, are Fluke and White, and New DEFINITELY wouldn't want the drive to get into Fluke's hands, he must've assumed New wanted White to find it (which may or may not be true but it's irrelevant, I think).
And, yes, calm down, I can hear you scream: "But how did he know White watched the video???" And the answer I bring you is very simple: he didn't. He has no idea. And the best part is: you only think he knows because you know. But Phee never says that. He says New left the hard drive there for White to find. And that's it. He never mentions a video whatsoever.
Now, is it convoluted? Yes. Absolutely. But we have to think this is Phee we're talking about. He's the guy who always thinks he has the upper hand (a.k.a thinking he can save Non or that he's not falling in Love with Jin). It's almost impossible for him to think he's in the dark as to what is happening to them. After all, in his narrative of his life, he is the hero. And, I know, lots of people in the fandom see it that way as well, so... It's not impossible to imagine that's what the story is trying to sell us. It's trying to make us believe Phee knows. When in reality, I think, it's more likely that Phee's the embodiment of this meme:
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Okay. But then if New didn't do it, then who did? Because something is obviously going on with Top, right? And Uncle Dang IS very much dead. So what the fuck is that all about?
THE SECRET 9TH PERSON? ENTITY? THING?
As discussed several times by several people in this fandom, there's a very high possibility that there's someone else with them in the woods.
@blmpff points out the existence of various versions of the mask here. @subtextsays points out the crutches in the bathroom scene with Top here. There's this shit:
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Whatever it fucking means (besides the fact that it gives me the hibbie jibbies). Someone is also obviously taking care of the Janta cult because there's fresh food in the offerings.
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@raelle-writing also points out here that New is also seeing stuff even though our favourite insane motherfucker has got (and has been using!) the antidote.
And, as of episode 10, as @babyangelsky pointed out in this post, when PheeJin are lost in the damn woods, the cuts on the wood Phee supposedly make keep changing.
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Which makes both of us question if they're all the same cut or even all done by Phee.
So, I think this is enough to speculate Phee could very much just be misinterpreting the whole thing and attributing guilt to New when, in fact, someone else has been causing the deaths.
Now you may question who and that's all very fair. You should even. But that is not what this post is about and, frankly, thank god, because this is already a monstrous creation.
So let's pick these cuts in the wood and use it as a segway to the last part of this, shall we?
PHEE IS AS BENEVOLENT AS A GREEK GOD
So Phee's mad. Super mad. He's passing around and cursing.
Jin, the only person he probably genuinely thought didn't do anything, is the one who recorded and posted the video.
And then Phee finds an axe. And, suddenly, Phee changes. Why?
Well, we have to look at it with what urges Phee to talk in the first place (besides his feelings and his wants): Phee is losing hope. He states it himself that he doesn't think they're going to be able to get out of the temple. So, he talks. Sure, he doesn't say everything but it's the closest to being honest with Jin we've ever seen him be.
And then their whole reality changes. Because Phee found an axe. And it all comes down on him: they are going to get out of there. And what now?
As @yellingaboutkp states in this post Phee is not only hard to read for us or confusing to the other characters (Jin mainly). He's also hard to read and confusing to himself: "...is Phee still playing Jin? It seems like he's trying to, but the more time he spends with Jin, the harder it's getting to stick to the plan."
Thus, what we see at the end of their time in the temple and alone in the woods is a mix of things, I believe.
Phee needs to feel like he's in control again. And with the original plan being ruined and Jin knowing too much (and there's no way he's not gonna speak, in fact, it's the very first thing he does when they arrive at he house) he's simply not. So when he tells Jin everything is gonna be alright, he's also trying to tell that to himself. He's trying to reassure himself that they're gonna get out of that huge mess. And, perhaps, in saving Jin also finding some redemption because, according to his own narration of the events, he let New go too far (as Jin points out).
Phee also knows more now. And maybe, if he was able to get Jin to speak once, without even having to force anything out of him. who knows if he cannot do it a second time in front of the cameras they've set inside the house? So he's trying to follow the script and manipulate him into trusting him, like he always has been trying to do. Except this time he's more bitter about it. And this, alongside with reason 1, is why these two scenes feel so different:
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And lastly: Phee knows the catastrophic effects his words and actions had on Non when they broke up. He knows the consequences of his rage. It's the entire reason why he's there. Because he failed at being a good boyfriend the 1st time. Does he really want that to happen again? Does he want to fail Jin too? There's a reason (besides the story itself and his need to justify himself to Jin) why we see that flashback of his break-up with Non in this episode. And I believe this is it. (so yeah, I understand it might be frustrating to see Phee be more benevolent to Jin who fucked up big time than Non who didn't do anything, it is EXACTLY because he wasn't benevolent to Non that Jin is getting princess treatment)
So, in conclusion: Phee is fucking confused. And it carries on being that way for the rest of the episode. Phee calls New out but he doesn't seem to care too much about Por being dead on the couch. He helps Jin on the ground, but he doesn't say a thing about Fluke pointing a gun at Tee. Sure, he does ask for the gun at a certain point but isn't that just more of Phee's desperate need to get control back?
And we see this all come down to the preview of the next episode and what it's probably going to mean:
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Phee finally has got things under his control again. But this means, surprise, surprise, that Phee's gotta make a choice: to shoot (and stand on New's side) or not to shoot (and stand on the gang's side). Which, of course, metaphorically is a choice, in good romance and BL fashion, between 2 lovers: Non and Jin. But also, in good storytelling, as, once again, @raelle-writing (can't help myself, Rae's posts are FIRE 🔥🔥 sksksksksks) explores better in this post: a choice between the past and the present; continuing to drown in grief and a wish for revenge or choosing to move on and heal.
And, as I (YES, if I'm gonna tag a bunch of people and their works, YOU BET, I'm gonna link my own stuff) explore in this post about White's identity and role in the story (and other people in the fandom have commented as well), I'm inclined to believe he's gonna pick the gang, Jin, the present, healing. Because this is a story about the damage caused by cycles of violence and grief. And a story about how, the only way to stop them, is to choose not to participate in them by letting go.
(and also because we already have characters who represent different choices like Non, who was always stuck in the future because he kept getting deeper and deeper into shit, thinking tomorrow would be better; or New, who is very obviously stuck in the past, unable to let go of the things he didn't do, the things he didn't prevent and only ends up losing more and more as a consequence)
CONCLUSION
Thank you for your time and attention. Feel free to comment and discuss this with me. And I'll see you either on my next long-ass monologue or next Saturday as we watch episode 11!
All the love 💜��💜
PS: Shout-out to the group chat, including, but not limited to: @ayansbff, @cyberstalking and @squishysquadstuff who have listened to me ranting about this post since Saturday and told me to eat when I was too focused on writing it. Your patience was fundamental in carrying me through this monstrous project (it took me 10 hours to write all this) 💜💜💜.
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