#like totally opposed to letting that happen i mean what even is there to look forward to rn lol

[livvyofthelake]

yes girl don’t ever start your day. eat your first food at 9:30pm and it’s just a yogurt and pop tarts… slay

[ineffable-suffering]

Why Aziraphale is an unreliable narrator

Part 2: The Story of wee Morag

This is Part 2 of 3 total metas. Here are:

Part 1, in case you want to read about my analysis of the Story of Job first

and Part 3, in case you're impatient and want to jump ahead.

Fair warning though, for the sake of understanding some of the references, you're probably better off reading this chaptered meta chronologically. However, every part should work just as well as a standalone! I'll do my very best to make it so.

Alright, off or on you go beyond the cutty cut!

I'll start this second part off with a very brief summary of the main take aways and points from Part 1, which go as such:

Memory, as opposed to a third party's narration, is not a factual, objective retelling of a story or event. It's mingled and mangled with emotions, imaginations and exaggerations, projecting both the feelings and impressions you had back then as well as those you might have now in the present time back on whatever it is you are remembering. (Which is why we need to put everything that Aziraphale is remembering into the context of what he might have felt in the past, as well as what he's feeling right now.)

While this doesn't mean his (or anyone's) memories are lies, it does mean they're a very subjective and sometimes factually distorted representation of what actually happened, which, in our case, gives us a lot of subtext and a lot of not-there furniture to figure out and look at.

So, let's continue with S2E3 and the Story of wee Morag. We start our flashback with a scene of Aziraphale writing his diary entry on the 10th of November, 1827. Immediately, it's firmly established that this is once again not an outside-point-of-view narration, but rather what Aziraphale remembers and wrote down.

One thing that immediately stuck out to me here, is how helpful and kind Crowley is to Elspeth, pretty much from the very beginning when they meet her in the graveyard. Not only does he take on a Scottish accent so she won't perceive him as English (as she does with Aziraphale), but he also helps her drag the barrel that has the fresh body in it and, in the end, even pulls it all by himself while Elspeth simply follows behind them. Here's a rather poor-quality picture, for reference:

Now, we know that despite not showing it very often, Crowley has always been very fond of the humans and never really put himself on a pedestal simply because he's an immortal being himself. He likes humans, just like Aziraphale does. But, just like this story will tell us, Crowley knows that on top of liking humans, you can't just put them into boxes of good and evil and expect them to always do what is supposedly the "right" or "divinely good" thing to do. (Which is what differentiates him from Aziraphale in the way he understands and treats them, as we're shown in this minisode).

Him immediately and unspokenly helping Elspeth with dragging the barrel therefore might also be a first sign of a tiny projection from present day Aziraphale, as opposed to what Crowley might have actually done (probably just walked beside her, like Aziraphale) because he has the knowledge that Crowley really was so very kind to her in the end, wasn't he? And that he's kind to humans in general. ("Not kind! Off my head on Laudanum!" Sure, babe.)

Most of this minisode, in my opinion, is actually there to establish how Aziraphale's view of morality and good vs. evil used to be quite flawed and elitist –– and how Crowley has always been there to gently nudge him towards questioning his black and white view of heavenly right and hellishly wrong. That's why I think there's not as many hints in this minisode about Aziraphale's memories not being an accurate portrayal of what happened, as there are in the Story of Job or the magic show in 1941. (And, fear not, the latter will definitely be the most hint-heavy one). Alas, there's still a few bits and bobs in the Story of wee Morag that stuck out to me, that make a brief yet good case of the whole unreliable narration thing.

First of all: The way Aziraphale describes all of it in his diary is so different from the way we see him actually remembering it. It's almost like he tried to write this entry (and possibly all of his diary) as a bit of a thrilling short story, with himself as the main character. Which makes sense, given the fact that he adores books and would certainly be keen on dabbling in the art of capital-w Writing himself. It's yet again hinting at the fact that sometimes people (and angels) try to polish and bedazzle stories (and memories) to make them seem more exciting and adventurous, often to distract from the not-so-fun parts of it.

Like when Aziraphale's diary narrates:

"It was with heavy heart we arrived at Elspeth's destination. I was determined to thwart her monstrous plan!"

... and yet we see Crowley and Elspeth casually walking down the alleyway, very obviously not heavy-hearted in the slightest, while Aziraphale nervously scurries on behind them, very obviously not determined to thwart. (Timestamp-wise, it's around 17:38 in S2E3, in case you want to see for yourself.)

We get another cinematographic/auditory hint at the fact that Aziraphale's memory is heavily influenced by what he's feeling that very moment, when Dr. Mister Dalrymple –– FRCSE, thank you very much –– shows him the tumor he removed from the seven year old boy. You can see the shock and horror on Aziraphale's face once he learns of this child's cruel fate. We then proceed to hear Mr. Dalrymple's voice grow sort of echo-y and far away as the sad music swells up and drowns out his voice almost completely. It's awfully similar to what it feels like when really horrible news are broken to you and you dissociate and drift into a state of shock. Here's the clip of it, so you may listen for yourself:

It's clear that this is a very subjective portrayal of what Aziraphale is going through during this part of the memory. He's deeply horrified and saddened about the little boy having passed away so early in life – and we hear and feel this shock with him. Through him, because this is his memory. Whatever it is he's feeling and thinking, we're feeling and thinking it too because we're seeing it through his lense.

Another (less sad) hint at a possible exaggeration is the abnormally deep hole Crowley makes the two graveyard watch keepers fall into. I'm pretty sure he's very much in charge of his miracles, making this random slip-up seem a little silly – which is why I'm also pretty sure the "Might have slightly overdone it on that hole" is a wee bit of a meta hint at this just being another one of Aziraphale's dramatic bedazzlements of this story. For the *flings feather boa around neck* drama!

You know what else might be exaggerated? Hm, I dunno, maybe Crowley growing into the size of a tree for no apparent reason. Sure, yes, he's pretty high on Laudanum which is making him a bit loopy. But apart from that, it does seem an awfully big cinematographic euphemism for him being the metaphorical (and, once again, for the drama of it) literal bigger person in this scenario. He's the one who ends up saving Elspeth and who manages to secure a safe life without poverty and grave robbing for her. While Aziraphale was so tangled up in his own moral journey and main character-ism, missing that wee Morag was seconds away from death already, Crowley is the one who actually ends up growing stepping up for the human in need and saving them for good (pun intended).

In a way, it might just be Aziraphale's view of/feelings for Crowley in this very moment. Watching the demon outgrow what, according to Aziraphale's heavenly logic, is supposed to be a foul fiend, bestowing evil upon humanity – and growing into someone who does the exact opposite and saves Elspeth instead. Another larger-than-life character development, in Aziraphale's eyes. Literally.

Let's switch back to the topic of the diary entry one last time, so I can make my final point of the this minisode's unreliable and a smidge over-dramatic narration of Dr. McFell. If you pay close attention, Aziraphale starts the entry we're all getting to experience with: "Last month, Crowley and I both happened to be in Edinburgh." Which means it didn't actually happen on the 10th of November, but rather at some point in October, 1827. Once we see Crowley get hydro-pumped back to Hell after rescuing Elspeth, the minisode ends with, presumably, the last sentence of Aziraphale's diary entry: "And that was the last I would see of Crowley for quite some time."

Take my hand and let's look at where the furniture isn't: This very clearly means that Crowley couldn't have been gone for more than a month, at best. Read again: "It happened last month and that was the last I would see of him for quite some time." This, albeit indirectly, clearly implies that when Aziraphale had sat down to write the diary entry, he had already run into Crowley again. Otherwise his phrasing would have probably been more along the lines of "... and I haven't seen Crowley since" or "... and Crowley has yet to return from wherever it is Hell's currently keeping him".

What's the point I'm trying to make? Good question. I guess my main point of storyteller Aziraphale being a bit over-dramatic in his narration is simply backed up by this, since A Single Month would barely pass as "quite some time" for an immortal being like him. And yet that's how he puts it, in his little Confidential Journals of A.Z. Fell, Vol. 603.

And another point that has absolutely nothing to do with the topic of this meta (but I'm still gonna make it 'cause this is my memory post): The meeting at St. Jame's Park in 1862 that so many, post-S2, took to be their first run-in after the Story of wee Morag, actually wasn't that at all. They saw each other at least once only a month later, as Aziraphale's diary lets us know. Which explains why he wasn't very surprised or concerned when he met Crowley in London, 1862. If there really had been 35 years in between those two events, the first one ending with Crowley being sucked back Downstairs to receive more than three decades worth of hellish punishment, wouldn't Aziraphale have been at least a tiny bit worried or more interested than:

Just saying.

Alright, let's string this inflated hot air balloon of a post back together so we can outline some invisible furniture. This time with only two humble points:

Crowley through Aziraphale's lense Backed up by how we are introduced to Bildad the Shuhite in the Job minisode (suave, cheeky, smart, passionate in shoemaking and obstetrics), it's growing quite clear that Aziraphale's memories and impressions of Crowley are very fond and impressed ones. He sees him as someone who's not only witty, funny and cool, but also as someone who has figured out way sooner and faster than him that nothing's ever black and white. Not God's plans and not the human's choices either.

Aziraphale as a bit of an exaggerating adventure author With the direct parallel we get of inkslinger journalist!Aziraphale in the present day, it's quite apparent after this minisode that Aziraphale's memory is not only deeply influenced by his emotions, but that he also tends to have a bit of a dramatic touch to him. Although, you gotta give it to the guy: A month without seeing the love of your life, even if said life is eternal, can indeed seem like "quite some time".

Well, would you lookie here, we've reached the end of Part 2! What a journey it was. I hope you forgive me for the fact that I drifted off-course a few times. I just can't seem to reel in my silly little observations, even if they've got nothing to do with the point I'm trying to make. But hey, doesn't that just make me a little bit like Aziraphale's storytelling, in a way?

I'll let you be the judge of that.

See you in Part 3! And in case you haven't snuck a peak yet: here's Part 1 again.

Ta!

[prettyboypistol]

7MIH With The Mercs! || TF2 x M!Reader

Implied that the Merc stuck with you has a MAJOR crush on you, but is too stubborn/shy to say anything about it.

Reader is an employee of Mann Co., a lot like Ms. Pauling, but for trivial things that the mercs need. He essentially takes reports of issues/needs and sends them forward.

Scout

As Scout is shut into the cramped closet and the door is locked, he hears the noise of someone else being in there with him.

"Scout?"

FUCK.

Scout bangs his hands on the door, demanding to be let out.

Def more shy than stubborn, but he plays off his bashfulness as pride.

He's blushing like the deepest ruby and shaking like an autumn leaf while there with you. The closet is so cramped that you can feel how fast his heart is pumping!

He's shy, not stupid, so he aboslutely "accidentally" brushes his hands on you as he tries to move.

Soldier

Solder was asked to simply retrieve some supplies from the closet. He opens the door to see you in there, only for a force to shove him in and lock the door.

"WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?! i DEMAND AN EXPLANATION!"

"Sir? Are you alright?"

Very awkward and remains as still as possible, as there is no room to flail about.

100% stubborn, not shy at all.

He refuses to even acknowledge that you're stuck in there with him, but if you start apologizing he'll give a few "words of encouragement" like that the situation isn't your fault and whatnot.

Engineer

Engineer just went to go get some paper towels because of a spill that happened in the garage! He was caught completely off guard when the door shut behind him, locking as snickers were heard from outside. Engineer sighed, but fumbled through his tools for his lockpick, but he then heard a familiar man.

"Dr. Conagher?"

His stupid heart skipped multiple beats.

He suddenly fumbles with the tools in his belt, profusely aologizing for not noticing you earlier. He sounds embarrassed as he deftly handles his toolbelt

Assures you that he'll get you two both out of the closet, totally not because he's shy about being so close to you!

He's a gentleman, so he doesn't do anything to you. He apologizes for every bump he does against you.

Demoman

Well, nobody really locked Demoman in the closet, he moreso drunkenyly stumbled in while looking for something and accidentally locked the door!

"Tavish?"

God damn, how lucky! His favorite person!

Overjoyed to see you and strikes up a conversation immediately, as if he's not pressed up against you and uncomfortably close.

He drops a few joking pick up lines like: "If you wanted to get close to me, you coulda just asked!" "So, come here often?" etc to get you to laugh.

Probably makes the joke that you two should fool around, tilting your chin up to lock eyes with him, but nothing too incriminating of his true feelings.

Heavy

Well, Heavy wasn't locked in the storage closet, not initially, at least. The doorknob fell off!

"Um- excuse me sir-"

Heavy realized he wasn't pushed up against a cabinet, but the little assistant of his dreams. Oh god, he could just break the door in, right?

Heavy def feels embarrassed, being so impatient and angry enough to break the handle in front of you. He apologizes for getting you into this mess and how cramped you are.

Offers to knock the door down for you.

He's not shy per se, but he's definitely nervous about his feelings for you. He's bold enough to put a hand on your shoulder/back as a reassuring gesture.

Pyro

They're not really aware of the situation until the door latches shut. They're mad that they were shoved into the closet initially, but hearing you announce that you were in the closet and to please not light the closet on fire! Made them reconsider the situation.

They're not... opposed to being so close to you, but the situation isn't optimal!

Pyro holds you close to comfort you, trying to explain that they're not gonna hurt you as a civilian.

They've always held an affection for you and you could tell. They seemed more aware of the world and more lucid when you talked to them, anyway.

If nobody comes to get you two, Pyro pushes you away and uses thier axe to break the door.

Spy

As gracelessly as possible, Demoman shoved Spy into the storage closet. It was meant to be a harmless, albeit slightly spiteful joke, but the Scotsman didn't realize the little assistant was in there as well.

Spy did, as their bodies were far too close for his comfort.

He's embarrassed, but is never one to look a gift horse in the mouth. He's SUCH a joking flirt, making you laugh as he picks the lock.

"What a shame, I think the men were playing a joke on us, no? Oh, how the world hates the beautiful." dramatic ass bitch

DEF wants to take the opportunity to feel you up and actually hit on you, but doesn't because "it's not the right time"

Medic

As Medic is shoved into the dark storage closet, his body bumps against another.

"Ack! Who the hell is in here?!" Medic huffed.

"Mister Medic?" A voice spoke out. Medic looked towards the voice, immediately.

'Gott in himmel, why'd they wrap him up in all this?!'

He's very awkward and avoids the situation, makes a show of demanding to be let out.

He's more on the stubborn end of the spectrum rather than shy, but he is certainly a little more bashful around you.

The most you're going to get from him in the closet together is an accidental brushing of his hands on your sides, to which he will refuse to speak on.

If you had a light source, the man would OBVIOUSLY be blushing.

Sniper

Sniper is just going into the storage closet for some bleach, but when he sees you, he slams the door shut, accidentally dropping a plank underneath the doorknob.

"I- fuck."

gay PANICS HARD, forcing himself to be quiet. He might be silent physically, but his mind is so loud.

He realizes the cliche and won't forget this ever! He's blushy, he's sweating, and god he wants to kiss you. He tries to assure you- apologize, even! But he's tongue tied!

If you come onto him, he doesn''t protext, but does that cute lil "hey now.." softly as he holds your wrists. He doesn't stop your hands moving, though.

[boldlyexplorational]

I know you all know this scene, but what if I told you: It's not as gay as it looks?

But wait! It still makes a great point for Spirk, the episode and Kirk's character. Ok hear me out:

When Spock enters the room he's surprised and confused. Some (me included), watching this for the first time, immediately identified his reaction as Gay Panic. Which is not all wrong. Then the whole exchange sounds like the incipit of an adult movie ... But then I thought about it, tried to contextualize the scene.

Imagine a colleague calls you at work to tell you your boss is acting really strange, drinking on the job, even. They ask you to go check on them and you go to your boss' office to find them there, half naked. This is the first time you see their nipples. And he's talking all low and acting gentle while they're usually loud and commending. You would probably register this as strange behavior as well.

This is what is happening to Spock here.

So I think his actual main sentiment there is surprise because the Captain is showing himself in a very vulnerable state. Even if Kirk and Spock consider each close friends, Spock makes a point of reminding Kirk how important it is that he appears as flawless, strong and decisive as possible in front of the crew to maintain control. And Spock doesn't feel exempted from this. But apparently suddenly he is? Something is wrong.

Of course we know that that shirtless guy is Soft Kirk (as opposed to Feral Kirk) the most gentle and vulnerable version of the Captain, that's the reason why he didn't think he needed to put his shirt back on to receive his first officer in his room.

To the audience this scene should be the equivalent of the violent scene with Janice. The one with Janice shows us the true dangers of Feral Kirk, the one with Spock is meant to make us understand that the other Kirk is not just "real Kirk" but "Soft Kirk". We should also be surprised that Kirk is letting someone see him in such a casual, informal state. Kirk would never.

But we're not, surprised, because we're biased by our own idea of Spock and Kirk being very close, and even the scene being slightly sexually charged because of nudity. In 2024 we see a lot of naked man chests every day, and if we are open minded enough we can see homoerotic subtext in a man being exposed to the sight of another man's bare chest. But at that time I have to assume it was much more unusual, so it carried a completely different meaning in context: it's not one of those times where one may say "if Spock were a woman in that scene, there would be no doubt about the implied attraction in there"

A woman would never be put in that situation, it would have been improper exactly because if it's a woman it implies sexual tension (which is not the point, because Soft Kirk is not sexual, Feral Kirk is). But this scene between men is, by society perception at the time, devoid of sexual undertones because two men could never be implied to be attracted to each other in that circumstances. Because gay isn't an option to begin with.

It's pretty ironic of course how a lot of people weren't actually thinking like that and went like "these guys are about to kiss on the mouth". Because proper society said "no homo" but the fangirlies had other ideas. And it's fascinating how on the end this appeared to be a revelatory experience for Kirk, who then must have discovered he actually had no problem being half naked in front of Spock. So much so that he seems to punctually wait to be shirtless before calling Spock on the videophone.

So in the end this scene, which I believe had a totally different purpose than the way it is perceived today, actually triggered a new level of intimacy between Kirk and Spock, which led to that landslide that's their peculiar... one might say queer, lifelong bond

[genderqueerdykes]

i'm a trans guy. i wish i could dress femme and have long hair and wear makeup sometimes without people thinking it means i'm detransitioning. i wish i could do genderfuckery and have people still respect my actual gender.

i definitely wish it were an easier world out there for femme trans men and masc trans women- people love to make assumptions or take identities like this to mean that they were right about some point they cooked up in their head. in reality, you know who you are, you know that you are a trans man who wants to dress femme.

i see this mentality a lot in asks and i wanted to try to posit something i really haven't before. this isn't to make you feel as though things will be all doom and gloom: every trans person gets misgendered at some point in their life, and in their transition. it's an inevitability that will happen, as strangers aren't able to know exactly how we identify based off of looking at us. it's something that's going to happen, and it could even happen to you regardless of whether or not you transition- cis people are getting misgendered, now.

getting misgendered sucks, but it only sucks for a short amount of time, especially if you pay it little to no mind. don't live a life you hate in fear of something that's going to happen regardless. it's an inevitability and we must persist despite it. it's going to hurt, but wounds heal, and it's better to walk into that situation confident. i think what works really well is giving the person "what the hell are you talking about?" type responses, looks of total confusion when they misgender you. if you act surprised as opposed to hurt it gives them less of an in to dig at your feelings

you know who you are. you are the authority on your gender an identity. people are going to think and assume things- don't let that get to you. stay strong and firm in who you are and what terms you use. don't let people push you around and tell you what they think that means about you. it can be easy to stay scared, but eventually, we must burst from our cocoons as who we are regardless of what people say.

people can talk, but that doesn't change who you are. you're the authority, not them. i wish you the best of luck, take care, stay safe, and remember: there are older femme trans men like me out there. i get misgendered very regularly and after all these years of it, i don't even really notice it anymore. i've stopped focusing on what terms strangers use to identify me by. their opinion doesn't matter- they don't know me

[mypimpademia]

So idk if you write for Kiri, but you know how kirishima is kinda like a total boys boy? Like a gym bro, kinda hyper masc? Well do you think you can write him with a hyper fem/hello kitty kinda girl? Like he always thought that he would be with kinda a gym girl, or someone more his speed with that kind of stuff, but instead he falls in love with a girl who always is wearing pink and something hello kitty themed? And how once he tells the bakugo buddy bunch about his crush on her they totally bully him for it (lovingly ofc)

Or maybe denki? I love both the silly boys bc iykwim they jus so adorable!

Like denki has a type, and [insert reader name] did not meet the standards of that, but little sparky boy did not think he would fall in love with her so quicky, especially because she's jus so feminine, and not necessarily that it's bad, he is just so confused on why they feel the need to dress like that. He's not opposed to trying new things or matching outfits tho.....

GAGAHSJRD SORRY I WROTE ALOT THERE ANTWYAS LOVE YOUR STUFF YOUR AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGG XX THANK YOU YOU DONT HAVE TO UF YOU DONT WANNA SHDJFJF

— Contrast

Kirishima x Hyperfem! Fem!Reader

TW: Swearing

Note: YOURE PERFECTLY FINE, I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE GO INTO DETAIL WITH REQUESTS🫶🏾 TYSM FOR SUPPORTING I HOPE YOU ENJOY LOVELY💖💖

— KIRISHIMA

⇶ Eijiro himself was confused when he developed feelings for you

⇶ He would never tell you this now, or probably ever, but you were nothing like the type of girl he imagined himself with

⇶ He always thought he’d date a girl that was similar to him interest wise, athletic, very fitness focused, into stuff like protein shakes

⇶ Not to say that it was bad that you weren’t like that, but it just wasn’t expected

⇶ Even the Bakusquad was perplexed when he revealed that he had a crush on you

“No fucking way.”

Eijiro waved off Denki’s response, slumping into the sofa with a sigh.

“Hey, don’t be an asshole! What’s wrong with Y/n? She’s cool and pretty!” Mina defended, shoving Denki by his shoulder.

He groaned dramatically, jokingly rubbing his arm in the spot she made contact with.

“I don’t mean it like that,” he explained. “She’s just the complete opposite of what Eiji always said he was lookin’ for in a girl.”

“No fuckin’ kidding, have you seen the girls room? It’s like she set off a pink paint bomb in there,” Bakugo chimed in.

“I like it!” Mina exclaimed.

“Yeah, I wonder why,” Bakugo muttered, earning a pillow to the face from Mina in response.

“I dunno, I kinda like it. It’s cute, and it’s actually a really nice contrast to me and my usual type,” Eijiro said.

“Yeah, you guys would look good together,” Denki, urged. “Honestly, I was gonna go for her, but I’ll let you have her!”

Eijiro rolled his eyes at the cocky remark from his friend.

“Let him? It’s that Denki for ‘I couldn’t pull her if I tried?’ Or?” Mina teased.

“Hey, what happened to ‘don’t be an asshole,’?”

⇶ When you do eventually get together, Eijiro comes to love your hyperfeminine all pink aesthetic

⇶ At first, the constant stares of all your stuffed animals would scare him when he slept over, and he had more nightmares of them attacking him than he’d like to admit

⇶ But now, your room is his favorite place to sleep, especially after a good workout and shower

⇶ Loves seeing you all dolled up whenever you go out anywhere

⇶ Sending him daily fit pics is a REQUIREMENT.

⇶ Calls you his doll all the time because that’s what you remind him of when you’re all dressed up in some frilly outfit and covered in pink from head to toe

⇶ Doesn’t understand the obsession with Sanrio and Hello Kitty and why you incorporate it into all your outfits, but he loves guessing the names of whatever character(s) you have on your clothes that day and gets so happy when he guesses right

⇶ And even though he doesn’t understand, he still buys you anything Sanrio that he sees in the store because he knows you’ll like it

⇶ If you make him watch Hello Kitty and Friends with you though, Eijiro will quickly learn to love it and know all the characters names by heart

⇶ Gets you both sleep masks of your favorite characters as well as matching pajamas

⇶ Eijiro might just love your cutesy aesthetic more than you, even though it’s not exactly what he gravitates towards for himself

⇶ Although you weren’t necessarily the type of person he expected to fall for, he could never imagine himself with anyone else <3

—

Taglist: @megurulvr @ivanari @planetlunaa @romiantic @szaplsdropthealbum @dreampurpledreams @goldenglow149 @gender-queery @roaringlion @cosmiles @tatiquichi @kxtsxkii @lillizxzz @starsoir @nikorubakugou @ruubric

Send in an ask or DM me to be added to all taglists, or fill out my form to be added to select ones.

—

Thank you for reading, comments and reblogs are appreciated! Follow for more!

[eri-pl]

Silm reread 11: Men! And the Noldor again!

AKA the part where Fefe dies and Angrod is made by the narrative to look like a fool and Turgon needs a manual

So we apparently switch to another source or at least another editor, because it starts with "the Valar made the sun and stopped caring (except Ulmo) and the only thing protecting the land from Morgoth's rule was the courage of the Noldor". Which may be factual but doesn't sound like something we would get in the narration in one of the previous parts. Huh.

Ulmo tries to teach Men, Men are too dumb. :)

In the First Age Men and Elves do not differ in height or physical strength. Elves are more skilled and beautiful, and the Eldar are (taller? more powerful in another sense? translation unclear :( )

Elves do not die of diseases, but it seems like they may get sick, maybe. They do look like Men, but this will change as their spirits remodel their bodies. But Men are weaker (less buff?), die more easily (also from wounds etc), and heal less easily.

Earendil, Elwing and Elrond mentioned as having full effective-Elvenship, which confirms that all other half-elves (Dior, Nimloth, Dior's twins, also any hypothetical half-elves) do not. But unclear what this means.

Return of the Gnomes Noldor

Wait, does Fefe land his ships on the Morgoth-screamed-like-a-kid-because-spider Land? :D

Second Battle (First one was the Sindar), the Noldor are OP and awesome, light of Aman and what not. An army that has been besieging Cirdan is called back to attack them and Celegorm intercepts it and defeats it.

In ten days, Morgoth's army is reduced to almost zero.

Feanáro expects too see Morgoth just round the corner and chases the orcs laughing and congratulating himself on his courage and disregard of the Valar (it is in the text) and is very brave and strong, but mortally wounded anyway, by Gothmog himself.

Also: Balrogs > Ungoliant and SoF > Balrogs, which is pretty cool for the sons of Feanor. Ungoliant had fire vulnerability, but still, it does look cool.

Fefe dies looking at Thrangorodrim, because revenge > anything else, apparently. Realizes it is impossible for the Noldor to conquer it. And regardless he tells his sons to re-swear the Oath and to avange him. (Also, he curses Morgoth again, three times)

Sindar and Noldor have a language difference, and I've mentioned it with the Dwarves already, but Sindarin seems easy to learn.

The initial assumption (of the Sindar and Dark Elves) is that the Noldor came ordered by the Valar to help them.

Just as Fefe dies, an emissary comes to invite his sons to a parlay. Maedhros convinces his brothers to pretend to want to parlay. I totally forgot that part!!! It is his idea! And as we all know, both sides betray the agreement, but Morgoth side does it with more success. He ordered to capture Maedhros alive (I'm not sure what is the main reason for that).

The other 6 fortify and do not want further "negotiations", this sounds like it's all happening very fast, but then the timelines suggest it took years. Morgoth demands the Noldor get out, they do not because they know he won't let Mae go anyway. After it's clear the talking is over, Mae is hung at the cliff. Which suggests to me he hung there for most of his capture.

There's tension, Fingolfin thinks that all 8 burned the ships together, his host is numerous and angry. Doom of the Noldor starts acting and instead of cooperation, there are tensions. And the SoF are too ashamed of their treason to go talk with the newcomers openly. :(

Fingon and Maedhros are… it reads as they had more or less officially unfriended each other at some point in Valinor, because of all the stuff between their fathers. Fingolfin doesn't know Maedhros opposed the ship-burning. He thinks Maedhros sees him as an enemy or at elast a jerk. Still, he goes to save him. I love this.

The song-rescue!!!

Oh, the song-rescue. I am so insane about this trope. It's just so— I don't know how to even call it. Not only this one scene (or the other two), but this scheme in general, I do have a thing about it. Very much. But tbh it's one of the things where my love for it is in big part "non-canon, very niche connections I make about it". Same as with…. most things I like in the Silm, probably. Hmm.

Also, let's have a moment for Mae, seriously. The rescue scene is so … poor Mae. And it is not even the worst part of "fate awaited him with fell purpose" :(

Yea, Manwe still cares about the exiled Noldor no matter what Namo's intern said. :D (yes this is a hc, because I do not imagine Namo saying something that isn't literally true)

Mae survives only because he's supercharged after having spent a long time in Valinor. (I'll need a better mental model of how it works, but I'm pretty sure it's the same thing that made Luthien die faster on the Silmaril and makes mortals allegedly die faster in Valinor, it's just different for Elves. But I wouldn't be surprised if later the Eldar faded faster than the Dark Elves)

Meadhros apologizes for ship-burning and gives the crown to Fingolfin (I for some reason misremembered it as Fingon. Huh.)

Thingol is not entirely happy about guys wanting to establish their own kingdoms, does not open his borders to them (for this reason, I think) and does not open the Girdle (because Morgoth). This is probably still when he assumes that the Noldor were sent to Beleriand by the Valar. So, it is … not terrible, but probably not a fully nice behavior either. Especially including his friendship with Finwë. On the other hand, maybe Melian already does have a hunch that something shady is going on with the Noldor.

He invites Finarfin-s family, because their mom (Earwen) was Olwë's daughter??? I forgot that part. Oh. this must have been awkward.

Angrod talks with thingol and does not mention the kinslaying, Oath and all the jazz, because "he thought it was ok now"? Excuse me, narrative, what? I need this in English, I'm not sure what even it's saying exactly.

Fortunately, much text of the Silm is Googleable.

he spoke long with the King, telling him of the deeds of the Noldor in the north, and of their numbers, and of the ordering of their force; but being true, and wisehearted, and thinking all griefs now forgiven, he spoke no word concerning the kinslaying, nor of the manner of the exile of the Noldor and the oath of Fëanor.

It does not help. He thinks the grieves are forgiven by whom? The Valar? The Teleri? Iluvatar? (who was mentioned in the Oath, it turns out, just the Polish translation misses this).

Like, ok, Professor, I get that you want Angrod to not be a liar (because he's son of Finarfin and they're the good ones) but also Thingol to not know about the shady parts, but I don't think it works. It just makes Angrod look really stupid at best.

Thingol lats the Noldor settle in the free parts of the land, to protect the settlements of his subjects. Makes sense to me. Also reminds them that he's the king of Beleriand, which sounds rather too proud, but again, nothing more than being a bit of a jerk. The Feanorians are upset.

Maedhros calls him a fake king (affectionate) and Caranthir (who we are told is a jerk in general) gets angry and disses the Arafinweans. Maedhros puts him in his place (which is important to note, because it makes me assume he generally puts his brother in place, eg Celegorm after Luthien probably even if it's not said in the text)

Maedhros is cool, he is friends with cousins… ut he is oath-bound as we are ominously reminded.

Oh, so here it is about Caranthir and money. He disses Dwarves but as they both hate Morgoth, they decide to fight against him by… making Caranthir the sole sales representative of the Dwarves.

The feast of peace! We have M&M (no other brothers, maybe because they are less diplomatic), some Sindar, Cirdan&friends, less important Elves Green Elves, and from Doriath we get Mablung and Dearon.

So yes, Maglor and Daeron get to meet each other.

The Noldor are great at crafts and lore, but Maglor is the greatest minstrel among them. The Sindar wre great at music, but Daeron is the greatest scholar among them. Oh, the cultural exchange when they two get drunk and argue about what tuning is better invent modern music theory and what not. I don't care for the alliances and stuff, but give me a fic of those two just talking music theory and similar things.

Also, many oaths of firendship and alliance were made — I guess the idea of swearing oaths is not traumatic yet. Makes sense. We are early in the timeline, before lost battles and most mass murders.

Here we get the difference in language-learning between Noldor and Sindar.

Turgon and Finrod get visions from Ulmo, each one assumes he's the only one to get it. I like Silm more than LotR, and Silm characters more than LotR characters on average, but at least iirc Boromir and Faramir talked to each other. :D

Finrod visits Thingol, makes Nargothrond, the Dwarves help and in the published vevrsion there is no conflict at any point between them. Finrod gives them a lot of gems, the Dwarves give him Nauglamir, it's pretty and one-size-fits-all, and magically light.

Meanwhile, Galadriel gets married and becomes Melian's student.

Turgon is less effective at hidden-city-making than Finrod and Ulmo has to tell him what exactly to do. It's not really stupid or anything, but kind of funny and I will laugh at Turgon for needing a how-to. :)

Another won battle (third one). fingolfin says Morgoth will never be able to break the siege. Ironic how it is him to say that. Both because what happens later and because he's called "Wise Finwë".

Also, Morgoth does have some intel because he regularly captures some Eldar alive and asks them questions. So he isn't completely dumb yet. Years pass, we get baby Glaurung. It's like 400 years from coming of the Noldor? And still nobody told Thingol (and probably any other non-Elda) about the problematic parts. This is weird.

Here we get the comparision of Noldor and Sindar skills and preferences. Also, they do merge in some settlements into effectively one nation, speaking Sindarin.

Also, a note about the ban (which will come later): Sindarin was the common language at this point anyway, becase the Noldor learned it easily and the Sindar learned quanya with difficulty. So, Thingol's ban was more of a formality than a practical issue.

It was as if Thingol put a "I hate the kinslayers" decoration on his Facebook picture. This kind of gesture. At least that's how it seems to me from what I've already reread.

[the-ninja-legacy-whip]

So I just found out that arin apparently switches sides (I'm not that far into dr yet)???

Do you think he and harumi would have gotten along if teen harumi and arin met?

WELL

Listen, fellas, as much as I find the idea of ~evil Arin~ as interesting as anyone else...THAT'S...not really what's happening??? (So far, anyway)

Arin's morals haven't suddenly changed, nor have his goals—his main priority has always been finding his parents, and at first, becoming a ninja seemed like the best way to do that—not only traveling around with Lloyd, meeting new people, getting the chance to investigate different people/places for leads...but also getting to live out a dream of his.

The issue is, he's hasn't been getting any closer to achieving that fantasy of a dream...nor was he getting any closer to achieving his main goal of finding his parents. And that's where his frustrations with Lloyd began to fester, and why he now sees so much appeal in Ras right now– his techniques have yielded results in Arin being a 'better' Ninja, and Ras (potentially) has the information Arin's been desperately looking for.

...but I sincerely doubt Arin is ever going to fully defect, even if as temporarily as we all know it would be were it to happen.

(This could obviously change if Ras lets slip to Arin what his ACTUAL GOALS/PLANS ARE, and Arin is like 'oh wait maybe he does have a point here', but again, right now Arin's just with Ras for the information/furthering his own personal interests, not in the name of conquest for something inherently 'bad')

(...and I mean, everyone was raving for 'Evil!Jay before we even got the 'how that even happens'...and look what happened)

ANYWAY, all that being said, I do see the parallels between Arin and Harumi- both feel like they're losing/lost their parents because of the actions of the ninja, felt betrayed by heroes they once looked up to, see the sympathies within the people the Ninja are supposed to be opposing, and actively move to support that opposing side instead as it better suits their interests.

...But I don't think Arin actually hates any of the Ninja (yet?), nor is going to align with Ras' plight given all the bad actions he KNOWS Ras has done in past, and to him specifically; he's just mostly frustrated and disappointed with their priorities. And unlike Harumi, I doubt he's going to murder anyone over it :V

Harumi would definitely be sympathetic to him, but if Arin knew the full extent of her thoughts he'd be like O-O;

Harumi: Aren't you tired of being nice??? Don't you wanna go apeshit??

Arin: N-No? ;w;

(also also I totally forgot to address if/when he does Shatterspin; should that occur then yeah he might be an evil!goner for a little while, but that's moreso a side effect than a wholly conscious choice, especially if the theory that he's already sort of started doing it holds any weight—he's knows its not good and he's not actively trying to do it, but he's sliding down that slope anyway and what happens when it's too late to turn back???)

Anyway wow sorry guess I had more thoughts that I...thought. hahah

[wyvernquill]

what are your top 5 armandaniel moments from the show? :D

Ah, thank you very much for the ask! Let's see...

#1 - s2ep2, The Lestat-as-co-founder-of-the-Theatre reveal moment, with Daniel putting on the telenovela music and Armand listing some of his other 'conquests' - they're totally messing with each other here, it's petty and weird and theatrical and I grin every time. Honorable mention to the potential for "you shared a boyfriend!" to get very ironic if more Armand/Daniel happened in the past, and also Louis sitting there going "...did you!?" at Armand's story about "Now, Voyager". I don't know, it's just very funny, says a lot about both of them really, and I like it when a ship does A Bit, either together or, like here, *against* each other.

#2 - s2ep6, The argument over the San Francisco memories. As opposed to my #1, this one's raw and bitter and tense (they're still messing with each other, but the stakes are higher and the attacks more vicious...), and I love it very much. "I didn't forgive you" and "why did I owe ~YOU~ my one act of cowardice?" are lines that hit very hard, I enjoy how Daniel keeps not buying the excuses even as Louis begins wavering, even though Armand directed most of them at Daniel to start with... it's a very interesting and powerful scene showcasing the shifting dynamics of these three, and I once more like the potential for recontextualisation if Armand and Daniel have more history than previously advertised.

#3 - s2ep5, All of it, really. Obvious choice maybe, but oh well. I love the juxtaposition of the dramatic past and Louis and Daniel putting their feet into the rock garden in the present, the new angles we see of the characters in a memory of the past that *isn't* very carefully curated for interview purposes, and, I mean, "I could be on my knees in a second" - >small nod to force him to his knees<...

#4 - s1ep7, The reveal, particularly Armand floating so Daniel has to stare up at him. It's a nice mirror to the power dynamic and positioning we see in s2ep5, and overall just a wonderfully dramatic scene with Armand removing his disguise in the back while Daniel is ripping into Louis. The theatralics of it all are very *Armand,* and Daniel being struck nearly speechless by surprise (and maybe awe? something else?) for once is also great, though we all know he's just gearing up to tear into Armand too in s2.

#5 - s1ep6, Daniel dreaming of first meeting Louis in Polynesian Mary's... but, gasp! Inexplicably, 'Rashid' is there, too! And meanwhile, in the waking world, 'Rashid' is probably busy tucking a blanket over Daniel while he sleeps. Honestly I just love the flashback, Daniel and Louis' semi-flirting, the way it sets up the reveal in the next episode, and, well. I do like to imagine that the blanket-tucking was done by Armand and was oddly tender. I just think the whole thing's neat.

I probably forgot a number of moments I really enjoyed, but, well, these were the first five I could think of! Louis has snuck into a lot of them, but that is unsurprising, at least in s1 and s2 all three of them are very tangled up in each other, and it's difficult to pick a moment with two of them that doesn't involve the third somehow (except maybe the Loumand scenes in the past, but they narrate those to Daniel, so...) Looking forward to seeing those dynamics shaken up in s3, I suppose! (also, Devil's Minion in the past, pls? Chase, pls? Pls?)

[mazzystar24]

Hi, a 'BT' here! (Although I also happily ship buddie too because multishipping is so valid!) I come in peace and just looking for some discourse if that's okay? I saw the ask in regard to apparently BTs are saying that all the focus on rg means he's leaving? I haven't seen anyone say that on either side so a strange one huh!

But it was more your comments in terms of pushing for Tommy to replace Eddie as lead when Ravi is right there and I just wanna say I agree! And I have seen many bucktommy shippers including myself pushing for Ravi to be main cast. He absolutely should be and deserves it and is an absolute darling angel and I love what he brings to the whole dynamic!

My biggest hope for Tommy is for his to be recurring much like Karen! Speaking of, there's another character I'd love to be main cast and who I think is ahead of the queue in front of Tommy to be main cast. Heck I'd love if all of them got to be main cast but, as much as I love bucktommy, I definitely can see there's an order to who should be main cast and don't want any 'queue jumping'

One other thing I want to out out there as food for thought, is that on both sides I see a lot of discourse thrown out through anonymous asks of 'oh the bts are saying this' or 'the buddies said this ridiculous thing!' And something I would love both sides to seriously consider is... did they really? Or are there just a few people out there who feed on the chaos that it all brings and will send out anon asks that they know will increase this 'fandom war'and pretend they are kn the other side when doing so just to get a reaction and give ammunition to 'their' side to make it seem like one side is delusional and the other side isn't?

Tldr I just wish we all got along and stopped taking messages intended to stir up hate as gospel.

Peace and love

Glad you agree on the Ravi/ main thing front!

As you know I want tommy out already so no recurring hopes from me sorry 😔💔 ngl at first I was like hmm it can be interesting and I’m not opposed to exploring bt and their potential dynamic and maybe they can redeem him and make him likeable it’d be perfect (like my comparison was if they wrote him like Hannah from bones) but like buddie endgame but as eps went on both he and a section of the fandom became so insufferable to me that I’m like I don’t care about the potential juicy storylines I just want this man off my screen - but it’s totally cool if you like him and ship them it’s just not my cup of tea

For the other part I totally get what you mean and that may be the case like I totally agree that that is possible but I hear like so many things that happen in the bt fandom secondhand cos I’ve got so many of the toxic/annoying ones blocked (my block list is a mile long genuinely) and so many have me blocked too but usually stuff that my anons mention will be talked abt by more people in the fandom (like this is) or like there have been times where if I ask my anons for elaboration links ss etc and they are able to do so

That’s why half the time when I reply it’s more so like “damn didn’t know that if that is the case then xyz” you know? Or if I saw something I’ll mention it and be like oh yeah I saw xyz and this is my opinion on it or answer

Also like I’ve first hand seen things that are like 10x worse or more delusional than the “rg must be leaving and s8 lfj main” thing like no lie some of this stuff makes that seem tame in comparison so it’s like the chances they’ve said this are like HIGH

Genuinely I agree with you on that last point I do wish that this fandom was how it used to be and more peaceful but certain things I follow this kinda mental rule I’ve always had which is that I won’t respect a disrespectful opinion

Like from the very start of the discourse I’ve been very oh let ppl ship what they want and enjoy their fandom space and from the start I’ve encouraged proper tagging to help people do that and like even if you’re fully delusional abt your ship I fully respect that (not saying YOU are but I’m saying like let’s say one side is like yesss they are getting married in s8 and having a baby on the first episode I would genuinely just mentally be like woah that’s a bit delulu but love that for you and move on)

My only issue really has been where people from the bt fandom (not saying they are the only ones who do this but I’m saying personally speaking it’s what I see and what I experience also not saying it’s all the bt fans and I do try to say that as much as possible) being disrespectful whether this be through being racist, being ableist or rude to the buddie fans just to boost their ship

Like I’m so not against hating stuff like seriously idc hate whatever you want rant about it and make twenty posts and make so many jokes but when you’re being disrespectful or when it crosses certain bounds it’s like you’re a piece of shit

Anyways I got carried away but thanks for being so nice and respectful in your ask 🫶

[ghosts-bandwagon]

ever since i read your mini HC that ghost likes bake off, you should totally write about ghost forcing the rest of 141 and R to watch the finale,,, like i want to know who the boys would support i am desperate for borderline crack (can be platonic!141 or R is affectionately sighing at their idiot boyfriend ghost).

or ghost's thoughts on bingate. anything bake off PLEASE

YES oh god YEEEEEESSS THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING THIS (they’re referencing this post!)

I don’t think Ghost would have to force anyone to watch it, I feel like he’s just watching it one day and everyone kind of joins in, it snowballs from there

It’s a big deal around base, when you first joined you thought it was meant to be ironic but everyone took it so seriously you were a little shocked

Ghost is very much the “knows the process but can’t execute for shit” type of viewer, so he’s commenting as soon as he sees someone’s doing something wrong

“Fuckin’ idiot hasn’t let it prove long enough.”

Soap tries to jump in on the commentary but he has no fucking clue what Ghost’s talking about so he just nods along and asks him questions

You’re living it up in the meantime, obviously you’re sat right next to him so you get to hear all his commentary, even the ones he didn’t expect to slip out

There’s a betting pool going on for who’s gonna win, whoever’s baker gets sent home has to try and recreate the technical challenge from that episode, whoever’s baker is still left gets to judge it

At some point Ghost starts commenting to you specifically, turning his head in your direction but his eyes are glued to the screen

He loves it when you ask him questions, especially when you share your own experiences or input on certain bakes and what’s worked for you or hasn’t worked in the past

If you have baking experience then he’s asking you questions about certain processes and if it’s really feasible to do them in that short allotted time, he loves hearing what you have to say

He prefers the jokes that come from interacting with the bakers as opposed to the skits

If you fall asleep during an episode (as I often do), he will absolutely not tell you what happened but he won’t wake you up either, however he’ll be happy to rewatch the episode with you later on

The excitement for the finale is almost like watching a football match for them, the chorus of disappointment when chocolate starts melting or a key component of a bake doesn’t work out, the excited commentary when they finish their last bake, the cheering when they do well on the technical, everyone gets so worked up lmao

If the baker he was rooting for wins the competition, it’s all he’s thinking about, you can tell he’s a little smug about it too

But if the baker he was rooting for loses, don’t look at him, he’s so grouchy, especially if it means he loses the betting pool, he’s inconsolable.

You’d be hanging out together afterwards and he’s still talking about all the ways they went wrong and what they should’ve done differently, the only thing that’ll shut him up is your affectionate laugh and you kissing his head

Honestly I could go on forever about Ghost and Bake Off

[nebulousgaythoughts]

Ofmd season 2 episode 6 spoilers!!

The way they showed Ed and Stede's first time was so interesting to me. First of all, it happened directly after Stede killed someone for the first time, so automatically, Stede was in a very strange and vulnerable headspace. And that's not to say he was taken advantage of--he very much initiated it--but it happened while both of their identities were up in the air. Stede was adjusting to being an *actual* killer, while Ed had just apologized earlier for shooting Izzys leg.

And then we see Ed sitting on the bed, still fully clothed in leather while a shirtless Stede closes the curtains. And what interests me the most is that we don't even see his face. All we see is Ed looking up from the bed, and Stede looming close to the camera, mirroring the way that Blackbeard was first introduced to the show--facing away from the camera and smoking a pipe, obscured with power and mystery. The fact that their first time co-occurred with such a dramatic shift in dynamics is a little concerning but I have total faith that they will *eventually* talk their shit out).

I don't fully believe Ed when he said that night was a mistake. I do believe he has commitment issues like a bitch, and when Stede started to become more like him, he got scared. We can see him pulling away, sitting in the corner of Spanish Jackie's as Stede revels in his infamy. He wants to truly make amends to the people he's hurt and traumatized, and he can't do that if he's with someone who's drinking, and making people walk the plank, and lighting people on fire.

And it's not because Stede is evil--sure he's a bitch, and occasionally ends a life or two, but that's not who he truly is--its who he's trying to be. A murderer, not a bitch--cause he is a bitch, but he's trying to be a murderer, because his whole life he's been bullied and mocked for not being manly enough. For not being a good husband, for being sensitive and soft, and well, gay. And Ed doesn't understand that this is why he wants to be like him, like Blackbeard (because they haven't fucking talked about it), because for Ed, being Blackbeard ruined his life. It nearly ended it (and others) and he doesn't want Stede to fall down the same path.

So yeah, Ed decides to become a fisherman, because like he said, he has no idea who he is. He still has so much healing to do, so many wrongs to right, and it's just so fucking tragic that now is the time when they need each other the most, but they're moving so rapidly in opposite directions, and neither of them know how to communicate it.

I think Anne and Mary were right--they are fucking 14 year old boys. I mean, Stede literally called Ed a coward for leaving instead of chasing after him. But they're not going to turn out like them. Ed and Stede are going to grow up, and they're going to talk, and they're going to heal each other's scars instead of causing each other more. They're going to learn how to commit to each other and stay even when things get hard or scary. (David Jenkins please for the love of all that is holy let them better each other and also fuck again but after they come to terms with who they are and want to be)

Edit: actually, hot take, but I think them having sex actually was a mistake. And yeah, Ed left instead of talking about it, but still. Their relationship is still so new and unstable, and I wish they waited until they were in a more grounded place. I wish they would have reckoned with their opposing paths before doing something so intimate and vulnerable, but I have a feeling they're going to reckon with it by the end of the season.

Ed asked Stede to go slow for a reason. And yeah, they both consented, which is more important than anything, but damn, it happened so fucking fast. I mean, they are gay, so. (David Jenkins I am in your walls please make Ed and Stede practice healthy sexuality and communicate about their life goals so they can prevent further miscommunication and heartbreak)

[butch-reidentified]

“ask the average reader to guess whether a male or female wrote this based on the fact that the author used coarse language I bet they’ll tell you male 😏” this is what you sound like. that person clearly wasn’t even saying that women with body hair are disgusting, they were likening themselves to them, and condemning holding yourself and others to pedophilic beauty standards and you have to be reading it in the worst faith possible to have any other takeaway

yeahhh you're making shit up lmfao

post being referenced:

I never said he said women with body hair are disgusting. I never thought he said that; he was clearly trying to say that we're all just gross animals. If other people claimed he said that, talk to them. HOWEVER. he said "u are a nasty little slug too and having a vachina does not absolve u of that." I take issue with this specifically because radfems take a very "humans are just animals like any other" view. We do not believe "having a vagina" makes us superior or cleaner or less animalistic or whatever the fuck he was trying to say with that weird ass sentence.

my saying that any rando on the street would more than likely read that and assume it was written by a male is not about "coarse language" (this literally made me laugh out loud, so ty). have you looked at my blog?? it doesn't get much more "coarse language" than my writing 💀 you can say "this is what you sound like" all day, but you made that up completely while dozens if not hundreds of women knew exactly what I was referring to. Not that I actually believe that you were confused what I meant by that, but to be clear, his post reads as male because it reeks of porn-induced brainrot. "breedable 12 year old anime girls floating in a glass jar of formaldehyde waiting for some old man to come and fuck them and tell them they are so teeeeeeeeny tiny and worth it" specifically is simply not a turn of phrase (or even abstractified image) that would ever enter my mind in a million years, nor that of any woman I know. I've never seen a woman say something quite that far porn-rotted. not that it's never happened at all, but I've never seen it and I would bet my life it's exceptionally uncommon.

Everything within that image he painted is the polar opposite of how radfems see women/what radfems want for women. "Holding yourself and others to pedophilic beauty standards" - you mean the exact ones radfems speak out against relentlessly every single day??? Search my blog for terms like "female body hair," "shaving," "beauty myth," and the like, and tell me how on earth you came to the conclusion that I think women should shave or tweeze or laser or whatever a SINGLE hair even once in their entire lives. I don't shave my legs, which were wildly god-tier hairy BEFORE even I was on T. I don't shave my bush, I don't shave my armpits, I don't shave my mustache or the chin hairs cross-sex hormones gave me.

Radfeminism is opposed to every single thing that has to do with the gender construct. We absolutely do not have any requirements or expectations or criteria for womanhood beyond simply being a human + female. Like I said about viewing humans like any other animals, radfems see "woman = female human" the same way one means "doe = female deer." Woman is not a gender; it's a term referring simply to species (human) and to sex (female). That's it. No further expectations or criteria apply.

Before you try to argue that this definition excludes women who are infertile or intersex, let me be very clear about sex:

> "of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs"

"the sex that CAN" is crucial to defining female/male. the female body has biologically, genetically, and physiologically developed from before birth to support the POTENTIAL capability of producing large gametes (eggs aka ova). It is totally irrelevant if one has a medical complication that prevents her from actually producing those gametes; which gametes your body has clearly developed structurally and functionally to produce is what defines your sex, no matter what.

The fact that this is how we view "woman" and "man," as simply referencing one's sex and humanity - this is why we maintain that trans-identified males are men. Again, we don't see "man" as a gender in the slightest. We don't engage with the gender construct at all beyond our desire to dismantle it entirely so that everyone would be able to live free from those roles/stereotypes/expectations that are assigned on the basis of sex.

This makes it a ridiculous thing to assert that we have to "go so far to prove that trans women are actually men...." We do not feel that it requires any effort at all to say "a drake is a male duck, a buck is a male doe, a man is a male human." It CERTAINLY does not in ANY capacity require us to "reduce women" to that horrific sentence, or to "reduce women" at all. Is it "reducing" a doe to state that she is a female deer?

It also makes it ridiculous to insist radfems "dehumanize" women by using this definition - the definition which includes "human" as a non-negotiable criterion.

About the first of his two-part post pictured above, last but far from least: There will NEVER come a day when women - ESPECIALLY lesbians & ESPECIALLY extremely gnc lesbians - calling out misogynistic males for their behavior counts as "punching down." No matter how he identifies, how he dresses, where he works, what his talents are, what he likes/dislikes, his sexual orientation, or anything else, women (and again, lesbian women especially) do not hold institutional/systemic power over men.

as for the 10 foot pole part, I really couldn't care less what he meant or why, tbqh, because the supremely creepy pedophilic rant that made up the first part was the thing we all truly took issue with in that screenshot.

and let's not forget, this all started bc he called an ND woman the r slur for her critique asserting that he was appropriating a type of religious trauma specific to the sex-based oppression of women/girls, and profiting from doing so. personally, as a human female with a history of such religious trauma, while this has been resolved for approximately 7 years in my case, I still vehemently object to any male claiming it as his own for profit. especially if said profit is hoarded rather than given back to victims of such trauma.

NOTE: this answer was written while I'm barely staying conscious. I will come back to edit/clean up a bit later after getting some rest 😴

[stardustcatcher]

Fluff Alphabet (Josh Kiszka)

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x Reader

Word Count: 3.5K

Warnings: fluff, literally so much fluff (i mean it's quite literally a fluff alphabet so like what did you expect), talk of marriage and babies kinda, not much really, let me know if i missed anything :)

AN: so i just thought this would be a fun little thing that i could do for each of the boys since i seem to be leaning towards writing fluff a little bit more recently but don't really have ideas for a full fic. this is my first time doing a headcannon-ish thing so please be nice to me or i'll cry. as always i hope you all enjoy and remember that all feedback (likes, comments, reblogs) is welcomed, appreciated, and encouraged! i love you guys <3

taglist

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Josh loves to do anything at all with you, just your presence makes even the most mundane moments better. Though he is a major outdoor lover, so he loves taking you to his favorite spots out in nature (hiking trails, national parks, just a pretty field he found while out one day). He loves combining his two favorite things, the great outdoors and you. 

B aby - Do they want a family? Why/Why not?

Josh would love a family, he grew up with two loving parents and a gaggle of siblings so it's always been something in the back of his mind. Even as a child, he remembers when Sam was young and his mother and father nurturing and taking care of him, and he’s always wanted that as well. But it’s not something he needs in order to feel complete. If that was something you didn’t want, or couldn’t have, he’d be perfectly fine with that. He’s content with you and only you, a child would be a welcomed addition if that’s what you both wanted but not something he needs to feel whole. 

C uddle - How do they like to cuddle?

Cuddling with you is one of Josh’s favorite things in the world, it’s the answer to all his problems. It’s his favorite way to decompress after a long day and to connect and exist with you. Josh definitely prefers being the little spoon, something about being wrapped in your arms makes him feel safe. Though he is not opposed to being the big spoon as well. During particular days where he’s feeling undermined in his position, whether in the band or in life as a whole, holding you against him, feeling needed and wanted, does just the trick. His favorite way to cuddle would have to be just plopping on top of you, laying his whole body weight over you and just melting. 

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Even in the beginning stages of your relationship, Josh often found himself picturing his future with you. In his own words, he’s quite nomadic and fears domestication and settling down, but he found himself unafraid of that with you. He no longer fears domestication but looks forward to it as long as you’re there by his side, though that’s not to say that his adventurous days are over, he loves the idea of taking you along with him. Seeing the world, traveling, and trying new experiences together. Then, once you’re both ready, you can both settle down. And he can’t wait for that day. 

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Josh is neither passive nor dominant in your relationship, you are both truly equal in every sense of the word. No decisions happen without input from the other, everything is thought of with the other in mind. He believes there are two working parts to this relationship and both of you need to be on the same page in order for it to thrive and grow. 

F eelings - When did they know they were in love?

Josh likes to say he knew he was in love with you from the first time he saw you, and while that wasn’t a total lie, he really knew after your third date. It had been at his house, the first time you were ever in his space, and he had picked some of his favorite movies for you both to watch. He could tell that you weren’t overly invested in them like he was, but you listened to every fun fact he gave you with a wide interested gaze and a smile on your face. You were truly listening to him, even though it wasn’t your favorite thing in the whole world, you listened and took in every last thing he was saying because it was something that made him happy. He apologized for rambling so much but you stopped his apology with a smile and a shake of your head saying that you loved how passionate he was about film, that you could listen to him talk for hours and that seeing and hearing him happy made you happy. Hearing you affirm your willingness to listen to his ramblings when others would’ve cut him off and shut it down only solidified the feelings he had for you. That’s when he knew. 

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Josh is eternally grateful for you, for your very being and all the things you do for him. Every little thing, even something as small as tucking his shirt tag in, will be acknowledged with a “Thank you, mama,” and a kiss on the cheek. He was raised with very good manners as well as being very perceptive to those around him so there will never be something you do for him that will go unnoticed. One of his biggest fears is that you’ll feel unappreciated so he goes extremely out of his way to make sure that can never happen, even to the point of being obnoxious sometimes. But you know it’s always done with the best intentions at heart. 

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He is an open book with you, even sharing a little too much at some points, but it’s always very appreciated. From the start he’s always been very open and it only progresses with your relationship. Honesty is a foundation of your coupling and Josh believes dishonesty to be a downfall in relationships. He looks at you as a safe person to hold and care for all his thoughts and secrets, no matter how big or small, he can trust you with them. And he hopes you look at him the same way. He wants to be the person you can tell anything to. Not just a partner but a friend and confidant. 

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helping them overcome personal problems?

Josh really only becomes more of himself when he’s with you. While he’s already a pretty outgoing person, he finds himself unabashed and unafraid around you. You’ve inspired him to be his truest self because that’s who you love the most. In turn he’s also helped you with breaking out of your shell and encouraging you to try new experiences, as long as you're together there’s nothing you both couldn’t do. 

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Josh doesn’t often get jealous, and if he does there’s likely an underlying reason for it. He firmly believes that there are all different kinds of love and that love is meant to be shared, he also knows that you love him wholly and only him, so he’s not worried about someone else coming along and sweeping you off of your feet from under him. On rare occasions when he does get jealous it’s often a symptom of something else bothering him, whether that’s him feeling needy or there’s something going on in that messy mastermind brain of his it can usually all be worked out with some cuddles and reassuraces. 

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Your first kiss with Josh was utterly magical, no matter how cliche that sounded. It was a completely mundane day, he had accompanied you to the grocery store after you’d mentioned feeling a bit lonely and made even the most boring tasks fun. He was helping you put away your groceries, asking where everything went while music floated from the speakers of his phone. He was swaying and dancing along to a song you didn’t know the name of looking positively adorable. At one point, he took the fruit you’d been holding out of your hands, setting it down and gripping your hands in his before spinning you around. You two danced around the kitchen, laughing and smiling and completely content. As the song faded out, he still held you close, resting his forehead against yours. “I really want to kiss you,” he had whispered, his breath fanning across your face. You smiled and gave a little nod before his lips molded against your own, fitting like the perfect puzzle piece that had always been missing. It wasn’t fireworks and sparks like movies and tv always said, it was more like white hot lightning and molten lava coursing through your veins, the burning warmth spreading throughout your body like a forest fire and you felt complete.

L ove - Who says ‘I love you’ first

Josh says ‘I love you’ first after your first holiday season  together. He’d taken you to Frankenmuth for Christmas and after seeing you interact so closely with his parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins he just couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He’d known he was in love with you for a while before, but was just waiting for either the right time or for you to say it first. When he saw you fitting in perfectly with his family, like you’d never been anywhere else, like you belonged, he had to tell you. 

M emory - What’s their favorite memory together?

Like the sap that he is, Josh likes to say that every memory with you is his favorite but there are a few that stick out in his mind. Dancing with you in the kitchen, bringing you home for the holidays, the first time meeting his brothers, all were some of his favorite memories. But his all time most cherished memory with you would be the morning after the first time you slept over at his house. Waking up next to you, your face smushed against his pillow, hair adorably mussed and messy, the sunlight streaming in through the curtains over your skin. He replays it every morning he’s away from you, pretending like you’re right there next to him again. He thought you were the most beautiful like that, safely tucked away in sleep, unknowing that he was memorizing every detail of your face. 

N ickel - Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?

Josh would say he doesn’t spoil you but that’s a boldfaced lie. From every stop on tour he’ll get you something, whether it's a simple postcard from a gas station in Des Moines or a handmade necklace from a vendor’s stand in Mexico, he’ll get you something. Gifts on holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries are always thoughtful and exactly what you’d wanted, he listens to everything you say and will remember on special occasions just to see your beaming face when you unwrap whatever he’s gotten you. 

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It’s very obvious to those around Josh that he is in love, he’s always got a smile on his face and will never pass up the chance to talk about you to his brothers and friends. It's almost insufferable when he’s on tour away from you, the other members of the band don’t know how much “Y/N would love this” or “I wonder what Y/N’s doing right now” they can take. Josh is not shy in expressing how in love he is with you, he’d shout it from every rooftop if he could. The sun shines a little bit brighter, the colors are a little bit more vibrant, the air tastes a little sweeter when Josh is in love. 

P et Name - What pet names do they use? 

While Mama is used frequently, Josh also has a plethora of other nicknames that he calls you. Sometimes they’re cute (ie: sweetheart, baby, lover) other times they’re stupid, like when he calls you ‘old sport’ after watching The Great Gatsby one too many times or ‘my little icicle’ when you stick your cold hands under his shirt. Pet names are just another way that Josh shows affection, his favorite of the many he calls you would have to be ‘honey bee’ or just ‘bee’, because you’re sweet and it feels a little more inventive than the casual sweetheart. 

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Josh has the uncanny ability to always make you smile, while some might not see that as beneficial in a relationship, you see it as an assurance that as long as he’s around you’ll never want for happiness. His superpower for bringing about your joyfulness has guided you away from some pretty dark places, you don’t know how you’d deal with certain situations and events that had happened had he not been there. He’ll always look for the good in a situation, and while it can be annoying when you want to wallow in your miseries occasionally, looking back you know that his optimism probably made the situation ten times better. 

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Josh is a romantic mush, the perfect mix of cliché and creative. He’ll do all the standard things but put his own little twist on them. He’d go above and beyond on dates just to see you smile, going just a little outside of the box just to make you giggle at his outrageousness. He’ll enlist the help of his brothers to pull off a grand gesture. He wants you to know just how much you mean to him and sometimes words don’t feel like enough, no matter how much you reassure him. He grew up watching romance in all the little things his parents did for each other, and he wants to do that for you but in his very own Josh way. 

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Josh is your number one supporter, he’s your very own cheerleader. There is nothing that Josh thinks you can’t do if you put your mind to it. And if it all crumbles, he’ll be there to pick up the pieces, help you dust off, and try again. You’ll never be afraid to tell Josh you want to do something because you know he’ll be behind you one hundred and ten percent. You support him so much, hold him up when he’s down like a crutch, he thinks it's only fair that he does the same for you. 

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Trying new things with you by his side is one of Josh’s favorite things. There’s a certain type of rush and love shared when conquering a new experience with someone you love. Not to say you don’t have a set routine in life, because Josh also likes things the way that he likes them and won’t stray too far away, but if there’s something you want to try he is always down and ready to do it by your side. 

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Josh knows you like the back of his hand. During the beginning of your relationship, he would watch and study you. He felt the need to know your quirks, tells, and body language just in case a situation ever arose when he would need to know these things. He can tell what’s going on in your head without even asking, he knows what you're thinking with a single glance. He prides himself on his ability to read you and understand you, it helps in knowing what you’re truly thinking if you’re too scared to say it, which is an uncommon occurrence around Josh but it proves helpful when there are others around. You can have a full conversation without words. If you’re at a function and you don’t want to be there anymore, he’ll know with just a look at your eyes and a nod of your head. 

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life?

There are a few important things in Josh’s life: you, his family, and his career. You rank tied with his family, though he considers you family so you could argue that you and your relationship fit into that number one spot. Your relationship is uncompromisable to him, he won’t do anything if it would put your relationship and time with you in jeopardy. Just like he would not consider anything that could compromise his bond with his brothers, he would not do anything that could compromise his bond with you. Everything gets run through you first, if there is even a slight chance you could be made uncomfortable, or a strain could be put on your relationship, Josh won’t even consider it. 

W edding - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Josh would love to marry you, it’s probably one of his biggest goals in life. He’d try his hardest to stray away from typical proposals and weddings, coming to something in the middle of your dream and his. If marriage isn’t something you wanted, he’d be a little bummed but could understand. You two don’t need a piece of paper to show you love each other. But if it was something you saw in the cards for both of you, he’d be over the moon. The proposal would most likely be in a significant place from your relationship and on a special day like an anniversary considering how sentimental he is. Marriage with Josh would be a dream, not very different from the way you two were before, but the fact that Josh would get to call you his wife would be enough to make his whole life. To show how much he adores you in front of friends and family is like an ultimate act of love in his eyes, he wants everybody to see just how perfect you are together. 

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Josh is a certified cuddle bug, physical touch is one of his primary love languages. Because of his job, he can’t always love on you the way he wants to in public, he wants to respect your privacy and keep some of it to himself. But in private or with friends and family, all bets are off, there’s not a moment when Josh doesn’t have at least one hand on you. The people around you will joke that it’s sickening, but his dear ones are truly happy that he has an outlet to pour all that love and affection into. He’ll give you kisses until the cows come home, cheek kisses when he’s next to you, forehead kisses when he’s saying goodbye, shoulder kisses when he comes up behind you and rests his chin on you, and top of the head kisses when you’re cuddled up against him watching tv. With Josh around, you’ll never starve for affection. 

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Because of his profession there are long stretches when you and Josh are separated, at first it was really hard and almost a deal breaker, you didn’t know if you could cope with being away from him so much. But over time and with reassuraces it slowly got easier. It’s difficult when timezones get in the way, when he’s just going to sleep when you wake up, or when he’s so busy that it seems like there’s no free time to talk to him, but you make it work. You call and talk when you can, sometimes it's few and far between but he’ll never let a day go by where he doesn’t let you know how much he misses you. Luckily Josh has provisions for when he’s away. He’ll leave you letters or send you packages in the mail, set dates for you to open them and stretch them out for as long as he’s gone. On your end, you supply him with pictures and letters with little dates prompts in the corner. ‘Open when you think of me’ or ‘Open when you can’t sleep’, these little things help him through the long days and nights of tour when he wants nothing more than to hold you in his arms. 

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

There is a very short list of things in the world that Josh wouldn’t do for you and your relationship. He won’t compromise his health and happiness, nor that of the people around him, and he won’t change himself to fit into somebody else’s mold. Luckily, you’d never ask that of him. Other than those few things, Josh would do anything for you. He considers you the single greatest thing in his life and would do virtually anything to make you happy. When you’re happy, he’s happy. He would move mountains for you, pull the sun itself down just to make you smile. And he’d do it all because he loves you.

=

taglist: @mintysammykiszka @peachpitpearls @alexxavicry @spark-my-nature @angelbabyyy99

[cts-games]

💡

Ask meme here

💡 A game that inspired my own design or creative practice.

Okay, stay calm. They just want to know about the game. Just talk about the game. Don't do the rant. Just the game. Just the game.

Last Stand is THE game that made me a designer and infected me with brain worms. It can be found for free here:

Why is Last Stand available for free on a random google drive link that totally doesnt look like its just a piracy link? For reasons I am not talking about!

Last Stand is a game that is basically a mix of Earth Defense Force and Pacific Rim. Though it's worth noting that it does predate Pacific Rim. Jesus Christ, this game is a DECADE OLD? WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN. FUCK. Anyway, there was going to be an expansion that helped flesh out those Pacific Rim elements more and make them more similar, but... I'm not ranting about that.

So what AM I ranting about?

MECHANICS

Last Stand uses a resolution system of 2d10d1+Stat vs opposed roll. You and the opponent each roll 2 dice, drop the lower die, and then add your stat to your respective rolls.

The thing that makes this resolution stand out however, is a combination of 2 factors:

Health as ability damage, and dropped die matters.

Healt/Stats

The game does not have a dedicated HP stat. Instead, players have 4 ability scores (off the top of my head I BELIEVE its... Tactician, Operator, Leader, and... Elusive? I'm not confident on the last one). What do each of these ability scores represent? DOESNT MATTER! You effectively just have 4 different HP stats. Resting them however you want. They could be called Red, Blue, Green, Yellow if you wanted. Doesn't matter. What DOES matter, is that rolls are contested by themselves. If you attack a monster using Tactician, any damage you deal is dealt to their Tactician stat. Monsters always roll at their current stat value, players roll at their max value (unless they hit 0, then they lose the stat bonus). This is a little unintuitive for players during play, but it does help keep them from getting snowballed and turns multiple fights into a better war against attrition.

If a stat is targeted and it's already at 0, the attacker gets to choose where the damage goes. This lets you pierce through the defenses of a monster by attacking its weaker stats, instead of the INCREDIBLY STUPID idea of attacking their stronger stats. Because attacks go both ways. Failing an attack means YOU take damage. You should NEVER attack needlessly in this game. It's an easy way to die.

Dropped Die Matters

The other part of the roll resolution is "Dropped die matters". Every game I've seen that does that usually just uses it as a tie breaker. That is not the case here. Instead, the way powers work is that many of them have additional effects that trigger on a specific result. So for example: "On a hit deal 1 damage. On a 1, 2, or 3, deal 1 extra damage."

At first, that looks like about a 30% chance for an extra point of damage. It's not. It's a 51% chance for the extra point of damage. These bonus effects always list between 1 and 3 numbers they trigger on, which corresponds to 19%, 36%, and 51% activation chance (i think my math is right on that). As a developer, being able to quickly go "Oh this power should trigger about this often" is REALLY NICE, and it offers a good range that really gets the brain juices flowing. HOWEVER, you can also skew them a bit more by changing the specific numbers they trigger on. A trigger of "On a 1, 2, or 3..." and a trigger of "On a 8, 9, or 10..." are equally likely to trigger. However, they are not equally likely to trigger ON A HIT. This allows you to tweak the percentages a bit more in either direction by having them require both the trigger number and being a hit (or even a miss if you want!)

These two mechanics tie in together to make a REALLY good conflict resolution system. Which leads me into how powers work.

Mega Man, the Blue Mage

My apologies to a certain dungeon guy for taking so long to answer this ask. It kept turning into THE RANT. And I didn't want it to be THE RANT. I wanted it to be about the actual design merits of the game. So it... took a while. I also maybe broke down crying a few times typing this up. This game means a lot to me.

Powers in Last Stand work pretty much identical to how attacks work in DnD4e. In fact the game originally started as a hack of 4e that grew out of control! You have a Standard/Move/Minor per round (with the ability to trade each one 'down' if you want to), and a suite of powers you can use each turn. That's about where the similarities end.

There are a handful of abilities available during character creation, and the game leaves it up to the group how they want to select them. You could just pick them off a list, or you could take the cards they are printed on and draft them. Alyssa was after my own heart with that design decision. Whatever you decide, you get 6 pieces of equipment, each with a unique ability, and 1 armor. You combine all of these to get your starting stats and powers. You always have access to these abilities.

Enemies have 1 power tied to each stat (sometimes less, never more). If you reduce that stat to 0, the monster loses access to it as you rip off whatever part of their body was letting them use it. And, for the rest of the current session, YOU can use that ability. Killed a giant bee? Well guess who's got a giant lance doused in venom? At the end of the session, all the body parts you ripped off and jury rigged into new weapons get shipped off to the lab for research purposes, and you lose access to all of them. Except for one. You can choose one of those powers, and fuse it to a specific stat on your armor, keeping it permanently. Though you can only have 1 power on each stat. You can also choose to keep it in Cold Storage, which allows you to later use those parts to craft entirely new sets of armor. This is the only progression in the game, which means your build is always responsive to what the GM throws at you.

Tokens

The game has a LOT more really innovative things, but the last one I wanna talk about is Tokens.

Tokens are part of the action economy, with many powers requiring you to spend tokens to activate them. They are basically a slowly charging stamina bar. Each turn you add 1 Token to your 'Combat Bribe'. You can't spend tokens in your Bribe, but on any round, you can choose to go last (there is no initiative. It's just players go, them monsters go, then players who accepted the Bribe go, then next round), and gain all the tokens in your Bribe. Fairly straight forward.

The part that makes this an incredible mechanic is that this is also how status conditions are handled. Every status condition is on a token. As long as you have a special token, it's rules apply to you. You have a Poison Token? You take one damage every turn. You have Webbed token? You can no longer take Move actions.

But... as I said. You can spend tokens to fuel your stronger powers. You are Poisoned and Webbed? You can use a power that costs 2 tokens to clear both of those statuses at once. It adds a really fun dynamic tug-of-war to combat that I really enjoy.

It really is one of my favorite games of all time. I could rant about it to people for hours... but in the end it will almost always become The Rant.

But that sums up my feelings on the game itself.

Last Stand is ALSO the game that made me change the topic of this blog to be general games I'm working on, because I cannot go longer than a few months without working on a hack of it, because it's just... it's my perfect system. Or at least ABSURDLY close to it. And so it keeps working it's way into anything I work on.

[tirkdi]

I don't know why but I've been imagining this a lot for some weird reason. If somehow darklina do end up together just SOMEHOW do you think at one point they'll get bored of each other? Will darkling's obsession with Alina eventually wear out? maybe Alina will want to try something else with someone else. How would darkling react to that? He's possessive as fuck but sometimes I wonder he would understand that unlike him, Alina never really got to be truly free and explore things for herself. I mean I don't think he'll let Alina go lol but do you think aat some point in centuries they might open their relationship?

This is such a hard question because when we're talking about immortals, I tend to believe that almost everything is possible, so this is where metas trying to answer the question (as opposed to fics) get tricky. Is it possible? Totally. Is it likely? Hard to say. I think the question we're getting at is – what are the conditions under which it might happen?

I'm taking the premise of this question to be that somehow, probably during R&R, they get together and rule Ravka (why not?). So we're dealing with not-quite-end-of-R&R Darkling & Alina. It will take them a while to work themselves into a relationship in the first place, and there are a lot of ways that could shake out. But assuming they get there, to a place that is respectful and reciprocal (if not gentle and loving), how long would that feel like 'enough' for Alina, and in what ways?

There are a few things going on here that I'll call out. One thing, to your point of he wouldn't let Alina go, is that we have an example of what an extremely long-lived relationship looks like for him already: Baghra. When the trilogy starts, he's like 800 years old and still living with his mom! Whenever we see them together they're fighting, but they don't leave each other, and right up until the second before she did it, he couldn't fathom that Baghra would jump off a mountain rather than just coming home with him. Similarly, I think it's unlikely that he'd stop needing Alina at any point. At the same time, Alina is different than him – but I do think it's reasonable/probably correct to envision an Alina who never needs him as much as he needs her, even a gazillion years later.

Another question then would be, at what point will Alina feel like she wants (and, importantly, deserves) happiness/something more? There's some character work that has to shake out there, because I'm having a hard time envisioning an Alina that ended up with Aleks at the end of R&R doing anything but being really hard on both of them for many, many years. How does she develop from there? Depending on the setup, I could see his and Alina's relationship getting to a point where they fight like he did with Baghra, but also similarly neither of them has any intention of ever leaving the other. Balance sounds nice in theory, but can be tricky to implement! Their relationship might end up less like a balance and more like a seesaw.

So then, there's the question of – is Alina looking for someone other than him to make her happy or to piss him off? The pissing him off seems pretty straightforward (and I think we have some fics like that that I've seen?). Assuming she isn't doing it to upset him, that she genuinely wants more than him, then I think there's the question of are we talking about sex or are we talking about a relationship with someone else? I do think you could come up with a setup where eventually he'd come to terms with sex, reassuring himself about how the Zoya lookalikes he sees leaving Alina's room in the morning are going to die in like a minute anyway, he doesn't even have to do anything.

I could also see a setup where you could make a power dynamic like that that he'd even enjoy, if he let himself. I think a lot about the Oscar Wilde quote: "Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power." If he allowed himself to acknowledge that he liked the ... humiliation? one area of his life where he was not in control? ... then I could also see him being into it, as long as he felt secure enough in the relationship between the two of them. And that right there is the whole reason we (or at least I) love this ship – their power dynamic is endlessly fascinating and there are so many different ways it could go