#like you can for sure interpret this in multiple ways like if the dude is supposedto be louis lol

[bluewinnerangel]

Somethings going on with these dudes with the shirts in Harry's music videos.. first we had the blue polo with the 4 7s (which makes you guessed it 28) in the intimate dining setting in between public appearances in Late Night Talking

And now there's a dude in Music For A Sushi Restaurant in a Jersey that says LT SENIORS 74. Like. 7x4 again. And LT this time. Have a potato ill put in more pics

To make it worse this is Lyons Township High School apparel, or LTHS.

Gotta laugh its as youre looking for a harry&louis update acount and take wrong turn like

Next level egh-idk-about-that addition: the LT or LS are hidden in most of the shots as is the number.

[onceinawhilemoon]

Finished the Mycroft’s Pride DLC and you bet I have some thoughts to share. Long read ahead and Spoilers if you haven't 100%-ed the DLC!

Interesting how you can look at the DLC as Mycroft's way of distracting Sherlock from uncovering the past, like if he can't talk him out of it, he might as well distract him as much as he can and hope for a miracle, similar to how Jon distracts him with all the childhood memories and the treasure hunts and challenges. The psychological implications/interpretations of that last one are vast: Sherry is deep down dreading the truth enough that he wants to stall as much as possible, or maybe he realized he missed Cordona so much and wants to spend as much time as possible here before leaving for good, or maybe it's a coming-of-age thing where he sees it as a chance to revisit and relive his best childhood memories and interests before he grows old and out of them, or all the above.

Either way, I really appreciate FW making Mycroft more prominent in Sherlock’s life and depicting him as a parental figure who clearly takes so much pride in having raised him and, in Mycroft's words, shaped him into the fine and productive young man that he is today. Despite all the miscommunication and the bickering and arguing, the only thing that remains solid and unwavering in their turbulent relationship is that Sherlock is Mycroft's pride and joy. (omg look i said the thing)

I lose it every time Sherlock goes into tsundere mode and makes a show out of how much he does NOT want to accept the request.. before he accepts it. He goes “let me guess.. it's urgent and important and lives are at stake and Mycroft’s too busy with his tea parties and keeping the Crown's jewels to do it himself? Alright, give it here. I'll handle it. I'm far better equipped anyway.” like stop you’re killing me with those lmao especially since I'm sure this is a nod to the canon ACD universe where Mycroft is portrayed as lazy and can't be bothered to make his own bed whereas this Mycroft is too diligent for his own good; running multiple operations at the same time and losing agents left and right and probably losing his mind with stress and not to mention the constant worrying over where Sherlock is and what he's doing and what sort of trouble he's got himself into and whether it's serious enough to require intervention. I mean, the man has long earned the right to ask for some help lmao.

Funny thing is, I finished the Muse From Abroad case and unlocked the cabinet of curiosities just before finishing the DLC, so they just had a tense argument and Mycroft stormed off and then sent Sherlock a letter right away asking him to drop everything and pursue one more thing for him, even said it like "consider it a holiday!" and Sherlock was like sheeeeeesh Mycroft and his errands and then, as usual, he went and did the thing anyway.

Like no matter how tsundere he wants to get about it, this man still can't find it in himself to refuse his brother’s requests (for the most part) and I think that's freaking adorable, like don't tell me he doesn't secretly revel in his older brother's "Well done" and “Great work” just like when Mother used to praise him for figuring shit out and Jon said it’d be the happiest Sherlock’s ever been. This boy is still at an age where he craves and cherishes praise. After all, he made up an entire person to be his cheerleader (among other things) and to constantly tell him how great he’s doing and how much he’s proud of him.

I can also see Sherlock begrudgingly agreeing to take Mycroft's requests as him never wanting to miss on a chance to outperform his older brother, and probably even keeps a record to guilt-trip Mycroft into returning him favours, like "remember that one time you sent me to all sorts of ungodly places just to fetch a book? How about when I almost died busting a gang operation for you? See how much you owe me? now give me all the dirt you can on this dude." (the "almost died" is dramatic exaggeration. It was me who almost died fighting the Eels. Sherry on the other hand is a badass I'm sure it was a piece of cake for him lol) I love this headcanon also because him having a little competitive sibling rivalry thing going on with Mycroft is even more adorable, no matter how one-sided it is because I doubt Mycroft cares as long as Sherlock gets the job done and learns a few more tricks of the trade.

And it makes me sad to think this has all probably changed now that their relationship is in a blender dangerously set to start blending on the highest speed...

Anyway, here's the real reason why I made this post:

... to tell you how loud I screamed

(Ngl I was hoping for like a bonus Mycroft cameo at the end or something but THIS made me giddy like a schoolgirl)

But back to serious talk..

Jon said something in the Missing Shopkeeper case when they found the body along the lines of “the ugly reality of being Mycroft's agent,” and I agree. These requests serve to give Sherlock a glimpse into the nasty reality of Mycroft's day-to-day job; he's getting to learn just how grim and dangerous it actually is—that it's not all cushy and royal tea parties and getting to rub shoulders with the rich and powerful as Sherlock would like to think, if only just to poke fun at his older brother's career choices.

I also love how even Mycroft's agents and acquaintances have depth and intrigue and backstories.

Like Ursula Oni, the well-respected chief archivist in City Hall. She's so good at her "other job" that she managed to hide a whole other- other job as a grave robber for a considerable time, so much so that even Mycroft himself (probably) was unaware of her nightly exploits. (For real though, discovering her body genuinely saddned me. She seemed nice enough, and I kept interacting with her every time I was in City Hall hoping she'd give me a quest. Alas..)

There's also Yeasmin, the Cordona Chronicle editor-in-chief, who's not only a hardcore Holmes stan and just here for the tea, but turns out to be the wife of the murdered agent/shopkeeper. And the way she reacts when Sherlock tells her the truth by leaving Mycroft's service is interesting; like there are layers here: there's distrust and resentment toward her boss for hiding the truth from her, indicating that there's limit to Mycroft's elusive and covert methods that his agents won't tolerate, and there's some light shed on how messy things turn out when interpersonal matters become entangled with the professional.

What boggles me is that Mycroft specifically gave the letter about the husband going missing to Yeasmin of all people to deliver it to Sherlock, with strict orders not to read it, and, with total faith in her boss, she complied without asking any questions.

I'm starting to actually consider if this case was a test to see what Sherlock would do and how he'd handle the situation. Will he tell Yeasmin about her husband's death? or keep it from her knowing that Mycroft will never tell her. I mean it's all possible. I mentioned in an earlier ramble how I believe Mycroft carefully researches and chooses the "errands" he sends his brother on beforehand to ensure his safety. Anything could be a carefully planned test.

Quick two cents on In for a Penny:

I wonder why Mycroft has a particular dislike for the Manghir? I assume since it was gifted to him by the mayor, it's having to do with how corrupt Sinclair is.

Headcanon: maybe the mayor offered it to him as some sort of lowkey bribe to keep some dirt on him in the ground aka "invaluable help" and Mycroft begrudgingly accepted it because he knew his little brother would be ecstatic to have it among his collection? (or maybe it's just the fact the manghir has a freaking cthulhu head engraved on it and Mycroft’s prophetic big brother senses were itching…)

But yeah, again, Mycroft making time in his overpacked schedule to put together the coin quest for his little brother is the sweetest thing, like I can totally see that being his love language. He knew exactly what kind of things interested Sherlock and what would keep him entertaind (and educated, Mycroft not wasting a single opportunity to subtly train his little brother in espionage is kind of hilarious) I appreciate the mentor-protégé dynamic that FW set for them in this adaptation.

It's a shame that Sherlock never got to finish the coin quest in time before shit hit the storm and they had to leave Cordona for good, thus he never got to have that meeting with Mycroft and report his findings and share what he'd learned, something that Mycroft was looking forward to with great anticipation as he expressed in his quest letter… it would have been a precious bonding moment for them and it's a real shame that they never got to have it...

Anyway, back to the outfits. Look at Jon???

Look at him!!!

More screenshots because I couldn't help myself:

(don't pay attention to Jon's feet clipping through the carpet lmao)

He looks so embarrassed here and I totally get it. Sherry you're so brave I could never wear my sibling’s clothes in good faith. And you look stunning btw.

I wonder if this game also changes your outfit back to default in serious scenes because I would do ANYTHING to see Sherlock confront Mycroft like this. I'm sure the exchange won't suddenly spike to 90 degrees awkward; your brother catches you screwing around in Cordona dressed as him… can't begin to imagine the level of embarrassment.

Anyway, time to run around town and fuck shit up officially. 🕴🕴🕴🕴🕴

[imustbenuts]

had to take a hard break from my yakuza kiwami 2 playthrough

yeah its the kiss scene. blasted me right out of the ride. sayama just lost her father less than 12 hours ago, admits shes emotionally shaky, and the writer decides kiryu should go in for a kiss right there?

in normal situations thats just sexual harassment. and i still dont feel the chemistry bc yk2 kiryu is behaving awfully weird around women in this entry. the things he does and say sometimes crosses into sexual harassment more than once. its so weird.

dude's behaving like he's got depression from losing yumi and nishiki the year before, dealing with significant social awkwardness and just does that. after repeatedly pulling away from girls who are into him in the cabaret social outings. o<-< whats going on.

my current question being, is he unintentionally treating sayama as a rebound bc she resembles yumi physically?

i see the hint of reused tropes with yumi. the same trope of how they're both beautiful. yumi with her gekka bijin and sayama with multiple characters commenting on her beauty multiple times. the age too, matches up with roughly yumi's before kiryu got sent to jail in y1, being mid 20s.

i also cant really accept the age part. kiryu is 39. sayama is 25. sayama is also an overachiever and these types tend to be more naive and inexperienced when it comes to dating and relationships. its a little... hm.... nnmmmmmnmng. hm.

anyway, if he is using sayama as a rebound thats leaning into evil on the ethical heterosexuality scale. not as bad as yumi getting killed -- bc how dare she moved on instead of waiting for kiryu? bad faith interpretation here yes, but a plausible interpretation nevertheless.

this is definitely some kind of weird bad writing and i cant get behind it at all.

i also dont know why they didnt add sayama into minigames and write more banter fluff if she's mean to be the romance interest for kiryu. there's nothing. i can invite majima who happily hops by despite having to juggle 3 VERY big jobs, but i cant invite sayama? we have a little mechanic of increasing haruka's affection by doing her requests but all sayama gets is cutscenes...? really....? at least try...

none of these alone would be a deal breaker necessarily, bc they do actually mesh well on the surface level. there was a few scenes that made me cheer for them. but there's too much when its all added together that it cant save the bad payoff.

there is actually so much going on that im wondering if kiryu's actually into women at all, and in fact, not seeing them all as harukas. 🤔

also now looking back at that bucket list scene in y8: sayama. im sorry. the writers should have given you a life beyond yk2 and allowed you to move on.

the game isnt over yet im sure theres gonna be more Heterosexual Bullshit coming my way. i need a drink.

[dgiacomo]

Hey mun I have a question about Giacomo’s age

Why do you depict him when he’s like 20 during ScarVio’s events? Since I see people normally depict him in his late teens :O

[I've met with an awful lot of resistance about his age, honestly, though mostly from people off of this website (thankfully!)... but there's absolutely a reason. Multiple, really!

Before I start, let me just state that what I'm about to say is my opinion/analysis of this media and mine alone... the fact I interpreted it in this way doesn't stop anybody else's interpretation from existing or change the base material. These are purely my thoughts behind why I did what I did a whole year ago now (wow).

---

Ok, so first of all! Yes, it's very easy to sit and go "this is a school so everybody in it is going to be between the age of 11 and 18 THAT IS A FACT" and usually, that's the thought lines I'd go to as well... but the game explicitly and often reminds that the faculty is an academy.. and that people of ALL AGES can be in it... there's even a guy who... says he's been flunking for 60 years or something and he needs to get credits?! Come on, dude. XD

But yes, the fact is that they have explicitly stated that attending and grades do not equal age... in the DLC even there's somebody who says you can't determine somebody's year group by their age/vice versa because of this fact (so Blueberry also runs on the same rules). Students can also fail and fail and fail and take the year over and over basically indefinitely and not be kicked out as long as they attend in some way.

So. Somebody studying at the academy isn't a child is the fact you can gather from that. That's what they're trying to say, I'd guess.

---

So that's the base work for the theory. Another aspect was that back when the game had JUST released... I actually saw a lot of people complaining that Giacomo, in particular, "looked like an old man being all 'hello fellow kids'"... back then that was a popular take, people interpreted him as older and it was weird to them that he was supposed to be a student when he looked OLD to them.

That was another step in the theory.

---

Next comes the actual game content. When I started this blog/comic, I had a handful of story segments I wanted to tell and explore, I basically planned all of it before I started (and we've seen a lot of them at this point, but not all). I needed to determine all the information I knew before I started. That was;

Team Star are a bunch of students who were bullied in the past.

At least 1.5 years before the game starts, these students carried out their plan to beat the bullies

In these 1.5 year prior flashbacks, they are all the same heights and build as in the "current day"

Giacomo was student council president at least a while before the 1.5 year prior flashbacks

They have advanced skills in things like auto mechanics and seamstry

What that tells me is that these characters had reached their mature heights at least 1.5 years before the game began... for girls that's around 14/15, but for men that's 16-18. For Giacomo in particular, he has a very broad set of shoulders and a sturdy build (in the base game, a year ago)... so he has reached his full shoulder/chest broadness which men only achieve when they are 20 or older.

That told me that Giacomo AT LEAST was over 20 years old in the flashbacks 1.5 years prior to the game. He's at least 21/22.

---

Then I looked at his past. He was student council president at least some time before the 1.5 year prior flashbacks. We've seen his student council hair, it's short. Hair takes time to grow. From my notes here I worked out that he must have been president at least 3 years before the game to allow his hair to grow out that much before the flashbacks.

I'm pretty certain people only really get the chance to be student council president in their final study year (in real life, I'm not sure it's ever mentioned in game), it tends to be a privilege that final year students get... so he was in his final year when he was in that position... and his shoulders were the same, so he was at least 20 at that point as well.

That would make him at least 23 in the base game at this point!

Also, he's balding and has been since he was student council president XD And it's quite strong, he has a big old forehead. Looking that up, the first signs of balding can start (thinning etc) at 17 if you're particularly unlucky with genetics. I had to account for his balding to have progressed as far as it had by the time he was president, 3 years before the start of the game!

---

What made me decide for 25 for his age is just the thinking that for him, he probably went to the academy as a university age student. He had to have been bullied for quite a few years prior to be in his final year and that bitter.

That aside, I find it hard to believe a bunch of kids would be master hackers, master engineers, master seamstresses etc. over 1.5 years prior to how we're seeing them now XD I'm somewhat stuck on Ortega's age because he is SO SHORT but he always has been SO SHORT... but he's also a master auto mechanic. I find it very hard to suspend my disbelief that a 12 year old could build those Starmobiles on their own... considering they have all been in limbo basically for at least 2 years, I think they are all older than you'd think

(A side thought is that I doubt children could get away with playing truant for 1.5+ years without being expelled or given detention or something... It's only adults you can't force to attend an education and can only threaten with dropping their enrolment if they won't attend.)

----

Anyway, that's a simplified thoughts version of the gruelling process I went through to pick an age for him that made sense for me for this comic. I probably missed bits out that also went towards me deciding this age, if I remember them, I'll add them!

Thanks for reading if you got this far. =B]

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

In regards to the 'canonically handsome' ask before, wasn't Sebek called 'handsome' before? Like I seen different translations of the scene (Part 2 - Chapter 13 of Scary Monsters with the Magicame Monsters), that also say he's "dignified" or "cool" as well, but would that also count towards him being handsome or just more them commenting on the way he physically presents himself as a knight in training?

Credit to OtomeAyui for this translation.

I am guessing it's another one of those words or phrases that can have multiple meanings though... Mind you I am no translator nor have a talent for it, but I'd be grateful if you were able to help explain what the person meant if you could?

Also apologies, I like reading the older translations as much as the newer ones and may get some of the names for things mixed up a bit lol.

PSPSPSPSPSPS Big thanks to @curekibouka-writing for helping me fact check 🤓

[Referencing this post!]

(For reference, the image above/second screenshot is the full unobscuredJapanese text for what the NPC says about Sebek.)

I’m afraid that the translation that you’re referencing (in the first screenshot) isn’t entirely accurate 💦 The specific terms that the NPC is using to describe Sebek are “姿勢良い” and “かっこいい”; the former translates to “good posture” and the latter translates to “cool”. So basically, the NPC is saying, “Hey dude, you’ve got such good posture and you’re so cool but still hilarious! You’ll totally go viral!”

It’s true that  “かっこいい” /”kakkoii” can sometimes be used to speak about something that is good looking, but the more common/generalized term is just to comment that something looks “cool” (which, I think, is much more subjective than what is considered conventionally “good” looking). I’d personally lean towards acknowledging that “cool” is the more accurate of the interpretations, just because it pairs better with the comment preceding it (which is the NPC complimenting Sebek’s posture). Additionally, there is no reference at all to Sebek’s face or what it looks like in the original Japanese text.

Context is important to take into consideration! “姿勢良い” /“good posture” and “かっこいい” /“cool” together give me the impression that the NPC is more amazed with Sebek being a diligent guard (and how he presents himself as one) more than being a remark on his physical attractiveness. In this case, dignified/cool doesn’t always automatically equate to also being handsome/beautiful.

Some may say it’s a subtle difference or that it “means the same thing anyway”, but the wording still changes our understanding of what’s being expressed here. In one version, Sebek is being called handsome. In the other version, Sebek is being praised for his presence as a knight. Those are two VERY different things which can and will have an impact on how the character is interpreted in the eyes of a fan. Nothing’s going to translate “perfectly”, so there are sure to be these differences from translation to translation (be it fan translations or the official English localization). Please keep that in mind!

[toneelspeelster]

re a little life - is this the one with james norton as jude? i'd love to hear more of your thoughts about how you found it. was hanya similarly involved in this one as in the dutch version?

oh. get ready, i got thoughts. read more for spoilers i guess. mind you i'm very biased as a dutch person. i don't know if hanya was more involved.

the show's almost exactly the dutch one and it's kinda to its detriment a little when you know of the dutch one (which i still prefer). like the stage's the same (but way smaller as a consequence of dutch theatres just being way bigger than london ones). clothing wise it's even very similar. but this made it extremely difficult for me not to just focus on the differences in acting bc it's the same play functionally.

the show is shorter by 20 min and as a consequence there's not a lot of breathing room for the characters or audience. one specific part i noticed is that the happy years were cut down. that choice is an interesting one bc it does all around make it feel like this version is a bit more of a trauma conga line than the dutch version feels like. this combined with the fact that the rape scenes were simulated way more extensively than it was in the dutch one and you got to wonder: why is this needed for the english version? it's not like we shy away from explicitness in the netherlands.

acting wise it was all very similar direction to the original. james was fine i guess, he wasn't really directed differently from the dutch one but i did sense a different feeling in that i feel that james felt more emotionally open throughout whilst i feel that ramsey really got that internal strife and guardedness that jude had way more. his portrayal is so fucking layered and his screams are guttural. then again ramsey is like. one of The Dutch Theatre Actors. it's no wonder he got the dutch equivalent of tony awards/laurence olivier awards for this role. and was one of ivo van hove's main cast of actors but more on that later. so james was fine. he did have a good challenge in the role i think, which he took to what his heights are.

willem's interpretation here was frankly terrible. my friends and i fully agreed on this; he just didn't feel like willem from the book at all. he's way more of a weird teenager dude bro and there were less moments in the first half that fully indicated that there always was a bit more between willem and jude so in the second half i didn't completely buy that this version would be in love and say it to jude like that. it just didn't feel organic. and in the final death scene - when throughout the second half he felt a bit marginally better - he fully reverted back to this comic relief status like. i just snickered. i'm sure the actor is fine in other work. i just think the interpretation missed its mark here. maybe as adelstitel mentioned in one of our comments they felt he needed to be a comic relief character bc the play is full of trauma and in those tragic stories the audience does need to have release of tension sometimes. but it was way too much.

support cast was good, especially jb was terrific, and i liked andy. have no real feelings about caleb/luke/taylor but i do think hans kesting is way more terrifying in the role, maybe also because of the room he has in the dutch one. like he's got space he can use menacingly that the english actor can't bc of room limitations.

everything was in an american accent. sometimes the accent was quite strong, like with harold. that was kind of.. very distinct. and different from the dutch actor who is flemish and has one of the softest accents and voices. harold also stayed closer to jude at the end. one of the changes i did like is that both harold and jude sang a bit more at each other as a reference to the mahler song.

i think the dutch actors have the advantage of being a set cast of actors who work with each other through multiple different theater plays. there's just something magic there in their chemistry. and i thnk ivo very much knows what he can extract from them and that would be more difficult from a different cast.

so in short; basically the same show so it was good, but different interpretations and comparing them are difficult to avoid when seeing this in multiple languages. i appreciate the booklet giving a bit more background on ITA's existence bc how many times would an international show not in english be able to successfully make the move to english. nevertheless.. it's just subtitles to overcome!

[the-down-upside-finch]

Hey, back to scream at you—

I’m reading Minding Q’s this fine Sunday morning.

AND CAN I SAY THAT IT IS SO GOOD I WOULD DIE FOR CELAIN. AND THE BOY. MY DUDE ALL THE HUGS FOR YOU.

Like came to personally compliment you that you’re doing the overstimulation and social anxiety so well! Like as someone who gets overstimulated by noise and hates crowds spot on!

Literally reading this fic like “ah yes the college experience. Mhm.”

And outta curiosity, is Celain autistic or adhd? I’m guessing it’s one of them doing to the stimming and over stimulation. (I’m on chapter 3 maybe it says this later skjdsipaks)

Anyway, I take forever to get to things sometimes, but your work is super cool!!!

YO WHAT TIMING!!! I literally was just working on an update for Minding Q's to post later today! (Also thank you so much for the fun comments on the story, I had a rough night yesterday and you literally made me feel so much better)

Also. I'm giggling because I always forget we don't even learn the 2nd MC's name until the middle of chapter 4 gksjgksjgj--

BUT AAAAAHHHH I'm so glad what I'm trying to portray is coming through! There are so many emotions involved in overstimulation and the like that sometimes I'm not sure if it's coming across the way I want it to haha So I'm glad it's making sense!!

In terms of what the "official" diagnosis for Celain’s brain soup is, I actually have yet to address this head-on in the story—and I'm not sure it will ever come up directly haha

I've written her character around a neurodiverse experience rather than as a representation of a specific brand of neurodiversity, mostly since I want to leave it open for interpretation, if that makes sense? Like, if the experience aligns with multiple categories and labels, I think that’s totally fine!

That being said, I do have "official" diagnoses for some of the other characters because their label(s) is/are actually essential to their identity. In fact, we'll see Sterling struggle with his labels as part of his character arc, among other things. Some of the other characters also identify very strongly with certain labels, while others dismiss them entirely. (This is something I've been wanting to explore in writing, so I'm really excited about it!)

Aaaahhhh anyways thank you so so much for taking the time to read my writing! It makes me so happy that you like it!

I'm looking forward to using my break this week to catch up on reading your writing >:}

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

And so, you have walked through the end. How was it? The walk, the final dungeon/trial, and that last fight. Lay it all out on the table for us

Ohhh gosh. This is going to be a long one, bear with me. Naturally, major end-of-Endwalker spoilers incoming

So we picked up the game at the Omicrons' section and went through to the end of 6.0 in a sitting. I bawled from the moment Alphinaud said the only way forward was for the two of them to sacrifice themselves, so I could walk on, to the moment Hyth and Emet showed up. All my friends' sacrifices cut deep but those were my KIDS, my BABIES, I told myself if nothing else, I'd make sure they were safe ;-; And there they are, throwing themselves into the void to keep ME safe.

Destroyed me. The endwalk was beautifully done. It really drove home that even when you're totally and completely alone...you're not alone. You have friends and allies and people who love you, all pulling for you. I was openly weeping through that whole section--up til a certain pair showed up

(Hyth applauding from an upper box like BRAVO, BRAVO)

(Look. Okay. I cannot interpret these comments in any other way than Partner A being lowkey resentful that you spend more time with Partner B. For the love of the star, my guy, just ask Azem to spend more time with you, that's all you gotta do here)

(Narrator voice: he would not)

TEARS AGAIN

HI BABY BIRB I'M HERE TO SAVE YOU

This part's a lot of screenshots so I'm gonna link to the post instead but. The part where Emet gives you a whole list of places to go and things to see. That was him going "you're not my Azem. But you're an Azem, and I know how to handle those. I'm going to motivate you the best way I know how to survive this fight. Because part of them has to live on."

Quick break to cry and gpose in the flowers

(This game gave me glowy rainbow flowers it's so good to me)

I am going to think of this the next time I see a massive flock of tiny birds in the sky. Okay, let's fight

Oh you are KIDDING me, I exclaim into the call with my raid group, who are helping with this part

KAY GUESS WE'RE DOIN THIS

The fight was VERY cool, especially the part where you have to block her big hit with a tank LB, and she goes to rewind it--only to meet with your friends helping you out

And then YOU get to enrage for once!!! Finally!!!!!

Of course we can, baby bird <33333 We have never not been friends. Welcome home <3

DON'T MIND ME I'LL JUST BE HERE CRYING FOREVER

;u; <333

AND THEN THERE'S THIS ASSHOLE

I have a feeling that is a lie

Man. I genuinely do feel for Zenos. Imagine being him. Imagine not having a single other person to connect to, because you were never taught how to make connections with other people. How very lonely his life must be. This is the fictional overpowered high-fantasy version of the dude who gets in fistfights because that's the only way he knows to achieve physical contact with another person.

How sad his life must be.

Kay, guess we're doin this

Y'all. They made that fight SO cool. The multiple-lives mechanic, the way everything flowed, it really did feel different from any other part of the game. Now I get the "A TEST OF YOUR REFLEXES" memes I've seen around. Delightful.

God damn I've actually hit the photo limit for a single post, which I had no idea existed. Continued in a reblog, I guess!

[sublime-beyond-loss]

I posted 32,856 times in 2022

That's 32,856 more posts than 2021!

149 posts created (0%)

32,707 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@moishe-pipick

@lookcaitlin

@rain-bowss

@musclem3m0ry

I tagged 193 of my posts in 2022

#the stanley parable - 138 posts

#dungeons - 65 posts

#kevan brighting - 64 posts

#the narrator - 64 posts

#everywhere at the end of time - 16 posts

#the caretaker - 15 posts

#the stanley parable ultra deluxe - 11 posts

#tspud - 8 posts

#tspud spoilers - 7 posts

#ambience - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#speaking from experience tspud is a blackhole for any autist that starts to hyperfixate on it from which there is no escape once it has you

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Skip Button Alternate Ending

I got the idea to write out a 'what if' ending for the skip button scene concerning what would happen if the narrator was capable of acknowledging a player who refuses to keep skipping forward. This is heavily inspired by @give-soup-please writing prompts. I don't normally write in this style and I'm not one to write stuff that feels so much like wish-fulfillment, but hey, it can't hurt to be a little self-indulgent every once in awhile, and even then, boy is this ending earned by the time it is finished. It's no cakewalk for anyone involved, it just has a slightly happier outcome compared to the normal way this ends. I also just really like the idea that since the narrator is not human, he does not have a human mind, despite his personality closely resembling one. What if he is actually quite capable of enduring multiple eternities alone without going mad as long as he has the right motivation to do so and doesn't slip into an existential spiral along the way?

This can be read as platonic or romantic. Another choice. Make it count.

193 notes - Posted July 6, 2022

#4

Everyone shut up, I’ve figured out what the narrator is. He’s a peacock. He spends all of his time presenting, screaming while presenting, and being weirdly aggro for no reason. The parable takes place on his butt feathers and every time you complete an ending, it adds another feather to his flamboyant ass. 

194 notes - Posted November 8, 2022

#3

It’s been several years since I last read through the manual of the Indiebox physical release of The Stanley Parable, and....

My god, The Narrator the most autistic thing on the planet. It’s like, I get that the manual is written the way that it is to be humorous and slightly unsettling, but boy if it does not feel like the Autism Experience playing out in miniature. 

The over explanation and difficulty with trimming it down. This is a whole ass mood right here. Overexplaining everything because you’re so used to being misunderstood and taken out of context. 

This could also be seen as info-dumping about a special interest since the dude is unquestionably obsessed with his game and story.

See the full post

250 notes - Posted October 18, 2022

#2

Here’s a long and very interesting interview with Kevan Brighting.

Some things of note: 

He likes all of the different interpretations and designs of the narrator and his own interpretation is that he looks like Alan Rickman as Snape without the cloak.

He has had people asking if he’ll sign buckets if they send them to him and he’s had to refuse out of the fear that it would turn into him carting truckloads of buckets to the post office everyday lol.

He is a fan of the Adventure Line TM and wished they could have done more with it.

He has not played the game since he feels like he knows it well enough and there are no surprises to find for him, but he does enjoy watching other people play it, although he has not gotten around to doing so for UD yet.

He does not believe the narrator died during the skip button segment but simply got bored and left after waiting for so long. (EDIT: I should clarify this since some comments think he is giving a canonical explanation for what happened. Even he says he doesn’t know for sure. It’s just his own interpretation. When even the writer himself in the Reddit AMA says he doesn’t know what happened to the narrator then its pretty clear you’re meant to have your own interpretations and come to your own conclusions.)

He finished recording most of his dialogue for UD three years ago. 

290 notes - Posted July 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

*Rings bell* Come here TSP community. Come get your slop.

1,144 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

LOL YEP

[anotherghoul666]

For your "which ghoul type am I" post, voila le breadown bc I ran out of room :))

Hybrid Ghoul

It may not be super Canon, but I see you as a triple-threat hybrid. Something rare. Something uncommon, in a good way. Something special! A compilation of multiple talents, more than a "jack-of-all-trades master-of-none" Multi. A certified class act! I tried really hard putting this together so appreciate it, dammit!

Fire + Air + heavy on the Quintessence...

Fire - you are brave and bold, with (what I interpret as) a 'tell 'em like it is' personality. That may have gotten you into trouble when you were younger, honestly it might still, but folks prefer honesty to sugar-coating. Also, I imagine you are short and fiesty irl. Feel free to correct me if I am wrong (I am NOT tho, I can tell).

Air - when I think Air ghouls I think of the ghoulettes - classy, a little silly, kind, great style. Take ur pick, dude. Like, you can be so cool, calm, and collected (a la Cirrus, especially the dom attitude). A little fireball of energy and ideas - how very Sunshine of you. Don't forget comforting and gracious - Cumulus.

Quintessence - you have this wonderful ability to foster friendships and make meaningful connections with folks who would otherwise be complete strangers. You're supportive, considerate, thoughtful of folks' feelings and ideas. Even if you don't understand, you make a point to try and see things from another perspective. You have such a wealth of knowledge and share it willingly.

Q ghouls are a model for how folks should act - kindly and with empathy - and this is very much how I see you! I see you as a pillar in the community (in more ways than one) and people are all the better for having known you.

OKAY, THIS WAS A LOT LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE. I HOPE ITS NOT TOO MUCH ❤️‍🔥

CAAIIITTTTT!! Darling? what?! This is SO SWEET?! Thank you so much for taking the time to write this in such details for me ❤️ I appreciate it alright, so so much.

The idea of a triple-element hybrid is so cool!

Fire: so my reflex is to bat away the "brave" trait immediately, because I feel I'm much more of an avoidant person than a brave one. That being said, if I look back at all the shit I went through and still pushed, I have to admit there is an amount of bravery there. So while I would never use that term to describe myself because my automatic thoughts say I don't deserve it, I'll accept the compliment and sincerely thank you for it. I sure am bold. I am 100% a "tell it like it is" person, and yes indeed my brutal honesty has gotten me in trouble consistently to this day. You'd be surprised but most people I find, like it better if you coddle them and you cushion what you say. The shit sandwich communication tactic and all that. But I can't do that. I treat others like I want to be treated, and I want direct and transparent honesty, so I have to give that same thing. It's all about internal coherence. I am both indeed short of stature xD and short of temper, though it's for minor annoyances. I'm difficult to legitimately anger, but I am short fused when it comes to being frustrated or irritated, yeah. You're not wrong!!

Air: besides stylish (because I do not give a fuck about style or looks 99% of the time XD) I appreciate the other compliments and feel flattered you think of me this way ❤️ The idea that I'm comforting like Cumulus is hits a lot, I aspire to be cause she's such a comfort character ❤️

Quintessence: isn't it funny how irl I can't maintain friendships for shit, all my life I've been the person with no friends that's "too weird" for people to tolerate. And yet online, contact is so easy with yall. I can be who I am here, I can speak how I speak and give my opinions and hot takes and it's valued. Instead of being problems that makes people uncomfortable, my directness, my transparency and honesty, my hyper-empathy, my hyper-sensitivity, those are things that yall are accepting of here and that you appreciate. This little corner of the internet we made for ourselves is so welcoming and warm. I'm honored to contribute to it in the way that aligns with my values of radical acceptance, open-mindedness and holding space for the marginalized. It's as you said, I don't always understand, and I don't always agree with people, but I believe there are ways to have civilized conversations people can grow from about everything. I'm happy that shines through and yall can feel a bit of the good I'm trying to do. I approach life, people and spaces with a "leave it better than you when you found it" mentality. So be it by sharing knowledge, educating, supporting, etc., I just wanna leave yall with more than before I crossed paths with you in the end. 🥰

This means the absolute world to me Cait, and Imma keep it close to my heart. Thank you for your valuable input ❤️

[shoutsindwarvish]

"Ex-christian evangelical atheists are obnoxious. That's why people like me look at minorities who we oppress and accuse them of being those kinds of athiests" Ok, buddy.

There’s a lot to unpack here. I’m honestly going to delete the post in question because I realize I misunderstood it when I reblogged it anyway, but I still wanted to respond to this. When I say “ex-christian evangelical atheists”, I’m specifically referring to people who go out of their way to talk to religious people (including progressive ones) and tell them that they’re idiots who believe in an invisible man in the clouds who did everything in the Bible (or insert-other-holy-book) literally and that they’re all sheeple who just need to learn science and critical thinking and then they will realize how stupid they are and that God is fake. You know…evangelizing.

Like, people who go out of their way to be nasty and condescending and talk about religion as a whole as if it’s all literal-minded conservative fundamentalism with no room for interpretation or nuance. Pure black-and-white thinking. From my Western experience, these people were often raised evangelical themselves and experienced genuine religious trauma that I would never minimize. Trauma can also make you a dick if you don’t address it or are at a certain stage of recovery. Both things can be true.

I literally do not care if you are an atheist. Your spirituality or lack thereof is none of my business. And, if someone says they hate fundamentalism across the board, I’d be like “yeah me too dude!” (And I would put opposing Hindu nationalism in that category, btw.) If there are critiques of the religious tradition you were raised in, that’s also none of my business. It’s specifically people who see themselves as superior for being atheist and who mock others for believing in any type higher power at all and refuse to acknowledge that any good of any sort can come from religion (organized or otherwise) when it’s actually complicated. (These are not hypothetical straw men! I have interacted with these people!)

THE POINT BEING. I was actually NOT intending to accuse non-ex-Christians of doing this by my comment, that tag was more of a non-sequitur about how annoying I find evangelical atheists in general. That being said. If you are engaging in that very specific behavior, regardless of what religion or culture you were initially raised in…you’re still being a dick! However, you’re also allowed to vent and experience your own emotions in your own space, and I wouldn’t have reblogged the initial post if I’d first read the OP’s blog for more context. I really do my best not to poke the bear, and if I did that here, I apologize.

In conclusion, I’m still not entirely sure what you mean by “people like me”. If you mean white people, fair enough. If you mean religious people, then I think we’re not on the same page. I’m queer in the United States. My own connection to religion is complicated on multiple levels. If you think I don’t know the dangers of organized religion mixing with the state, then you are just wrong.

Apologies for the misunderstanding, hope that clears things up.

[key-lime-soda]

RE: resippy tiem :)

Okay, so what I said earlier in that one response to that one ask: It was like... almost sorta an overstatement when I said that I had multiple recipes prepared, as 1) I have many more for Maiko (which I will elaborate on tomorrow or something, it's getting kinda late) 2) I don't have like... exact recipes? More like, general ingredients and ideas that'd fit together for Jackson, which I normally forget but I very likely will look through the Jackson Trace Time Tab (doesn't exist, i'll just look back at like. what i've seen of him) and I can gather more ideas coherently then and 3) It often isn't like! A full recipe! Sometimes I just look at some of Jackson's dialogue and go "Hm. Yeah. That's a grilled answer if I've ever seen one." and then go on with my day.

Anyways! Going back to Maiko's Recipes, (not sure if I even brought that up) you once said that she enjoyed making french toast of sorts: I think that she'd like to ham that stuff up with decorations, just because like! I think she's somewhat of an overachiever in an early stage, and also she cares about the appearance of something quite a lot-- that's what being too invested in cooking competitions can do to someone, man. Citing this ask, Maiko enjoys rice pudding and french toast, implying she enjoys sweet foods with a strong savory undertone, and ones that start out simple but can be modified to the chef and eater's likes and dislikes- which I think shows the level of care between father and daughter here, even in a miniscule way.

Before this, from this ask, the wording of how Maiko wants to join a cooking competition somewhat implies that she favors cooking over baking (or at least that's how I interpreted it) which may be in part due to nurture, Jackson favoring savory, more 'fast-acting' foods over sweeter pastries, with some exceptions, the exceptions being that he seems like the type to go to a local bakery for a croissant when he was busy with work. This might also be a hint into Jackson's personal preferences in food- like I might have mentioned offhandedly before, he seems like the dude to like warmer foods, and also more spicy foods. And like. Based in grains and stuff? He also isn't like, super-heavily carnivorous, not eating meat more than??? Once a day?? But that's just straight up headcanon territory. Also-- So many sauces are just... so fitting for Jackson. I had an actual recipe earlier, but I doubt I could find it in my mindscape now.

One of the recipes I had laid out for him was almost a sort of birria taco? But weird, with more vegetables, a greater citrus-y (specifically lime) presence and a thicker broth. Like. A rich, multi-leveled flavor with a solid base sorta dish. I think the meat inside the weird taco (like i MIGHT have said, i can never describe these recipes thinking back on them) was chicken, which doesn't say much other than I like chicken tacos.

ANYWAYS this was a long and rambly ask, really sorry about how incomprehensible this is, i'll probably swoop back in with more recipe stuff tomorrow-ish? Because i am Tired and Not Thinking As Precisely As I Should Be- Goodnight!

(also sorry if I mischaracterized either of the guys mentioned in this-- i tend to get lost in my own headcanons with characters, very sorry if this did happen)

wow ok that's a lot to unpack (I'm smiling like an idiot btw)

your way of interpreting characters is so interesting??? like u think of food components when you hear certain things. I'm gonna study u so much cuz that's really cool. I think I kinda do the same but with colors? I hear noises and think of colors if that makes sense.

also I love ur headcanons. plz never apologize for making them, it makes me so happy. I'd say half of them are right tbh so congrats!!

few response notes! :3

Maiko would definitely go all out and make the fanciest French Toast ever. She wants to make her dad proud, y'know? And as much as he appreciates it, he still inhales the whole thing in like 3 minutes because this man is always late for work.

Rice pudding is like a comfort food for her. Reminds her of Jackson cuz he's the one who always makes it for her. She likes to make French Toast because it's Jackson's favorite breakfast. He probably doesn't like it too sweet though.

She does favor cooking over baking because she hates using an oven. It's so hot inside and has a risk of burning yourself and that scares her. If your properly trained, you can easily avoid burning yourself with a stove (as long as you avoid hot oil too, which isn't her forte either)

Her love of cooking came from watching cooking shows all day when she was really little. Cartoons only play in the mornings back then so she'd watch a Food Network kind of channel in the afternoons. Maiko is autistic, and cooking is her special interest.

Jackson actually does really like meat. Beef is probably his favorite. He doesn't eat it that often because he's not that wealthy and can't afford it (remember: he's a private detective who gets paid the bare minimum, and lives with a college student. they're both broke losers)

He definitely eats a lot of rice. Inherited from his dad, who grew up on a rice farm.

that taco goes hard /pos

this was fun, I'd love to do this again <333

[theultimateprune]

astrology for the week of November 12, 2023

(disclaimer! This is just for fun, not based on anything professional, just my own personal interpretations of the signs and current astrological season and events, so don’t take any of this too seriously!)

Aries: You may be discovering a new interest this week, might be an artist, or an engineer, or an english professor. Whatever it is, it has the chance to really bring a lot of interesting things to you life.

Taurus: It feels like it might be a good idea to find your way to an ocean or large body of water (could even just be a bathtub for all I care). And then ponder that water, how does it make you feel? Do you notice anything odd or surprising about it or your responses to it?

Gemini: I think you’ll have a chance to get to share something really sweet with someone unexpected. Maybe you’ll randomly connect with a stranger at the supermarket and find yourself talking about a shared interest. You might also see someone really cute on the bus or in a public space and then you’ll see them again in another place. What you do next is up to you.

Cancer: This week has the chance to really surprise you in the realm of movies and tv. Maybe you’ll start watching something just to have some background noise and you’ll discover a new favourite show or movie. Or maybe you’ll be watching something and be just about to turn it off and then there’s a twist you did not see coming or a really interesting scene happens and you find yourself engaged and interested. The same could apply to music too actually; you might be listening to a new band or song and then all of a sudden it just gets really really good.

Leo: You could find a really cool rock this week. Or multiple. Or maybe someone randomly gifts you a rock. Or maybe you go to a beach to throw rocks into the water and then you discover a really unique rock and decide to keep it. Or give it to someone else.

Virgo: The colours of coffee, black tea, rich earth, these may be speaking to you this week. Wear them, eat them, surround yourself in them, write about them, breathe them, make a cardigan for all I care, but the shades of brown that surround you may all of a sudden appear more vibrant and beautiful than you thought they ever could.

Libra: If you’ve recently received difficult or conflicting news, you may be processing this information in a big way. It may feel really heavy. Maybe really hopeless. You have a knack for seeing the silver lining in absolutely everything, and it’s a beautiful thing that you so naturally do. Sometimes it’s okay to just be disappointed, feel let down, and experience the grief of a situation. I know it’s hard and can feel unbearable and uncomfortable, but as you know, the storms always clear, and the sky is always there, either bright and blue or full of stars. So hang in there if this week is particularly hard, and give yourself the space to be a little weighed down and sad. You don’t always have to find the gold in every shitty situation. Sometimes things just suck!

Scorpio: Maybe you’re dyeing your hair a new colour or getting a haircut this week, or just doing something different with your hair. Whatever it is, it’s a great idea! The name Bob may be important or prominent this week.

Sagittarius: Oh, so maybe you’re feeling a little spicy this week. Maybe a little restless as your season approaches. Just laugh it off, dude. Find some small ways to access escape (but not so much that you disconnect completely from reality!). maybe read a new book, watch a new show, wear new shoes, listen to a new song, go for a walk in the cold weather. Introducing some newness in small ways could really benefit you this week.

Capricorn: This is a great week for naps. You may be having some wacky weird dreams though, so make sure to write them down so that you can turn them into art or just laugh about them, because what the hell! Is going on!!

Aquarius: I think you might still be enjoying pasta this week, and the present is offering up some really good things right now. Don’t let them pass you by! Even the small moments like sharing a glance with a stranger or taking a picture of your feet Lol.

Pisces: You might be feeling a bit bogged down this week, maybe something unexpected has happened and you’re trying to find ways to ground yourself in it. If you’re experiencing a lot of change and anxiety about that change, it’s okay! Just remember that sometimes it’s a good thing for things to change, and sometimes they happen unexpectedly to save us the pain of long drawn out shifts. So take it easy on yourself. Fall back on the things that you know help you through tough times, you’ll make it through this :)

[moonflowerchanniesgirl]

Guiding Light

Pairing: Changbin x female reader (referred to by stage name Rosette )

Genre: angst, fluff, mature,slow, (fanboy)idol changbin + underground rapper reader, strangers to lovers

Warning: mentions of sexual harassment (not by any of the stray kids members) mention self-confidence issues, drinking, cursing, mention of suicidal thoughts, 

Summary: You’ve had multiple people reach out to you but never quite like this, by someone with a cute smile and the firmest arms you have ever seen. Could you get over past trauma about fame to step up to what Changbin thinks is your potential?

Word Count:12k

Authors note: this is not an accurate representation of stray kids but an interpretation based on an idea that stems from them. What can I say but this plot ran away from me and became this monster of a thing... enjoy?

 So I hold this little thing called dream in my hand  No matter how hard the world tries to push me down  I will stand

You finished the last line of your rap to thunderous applause and some drunk hollering. You quickly bow and send out a few finger hearts to the crowd before handing the microphone to Danny.

“Let’s give it up again for Rosette!” You heard Danny yell into the mike as you made your way to the tiny area backstage. Junnie is the only one standing there waiting for you with a water bottle. You grabbed it with a small whisper of thanks as you quickly gulped down the cold liquid. You quickly wanted to leave so that you could change out of your hoodie and sweatpants for some shorts and a T-shirt but Junnie grabbed your arm to hold you back. 

“There’s someone here asking to speak to you,” she whispered shouted into your ear to be heard over the booming music that picked up.

“Another recruiter?” You asked with a grimace. You had made quite a name for yourself in the underground rap scene and there were always recruiters coming around the club hoping to sign you to their agency. You hid from or directly turned all of them down ever since the incident four years ago. You thought that maybe they would have gotten the message by now but clearly…

“No he didn’t look like a usual recruiter, god knows they stick out like a sore thumb,” you had to nod to that. 

“A full suit in a club like this, I bet they’re sweating more than I am in this hoodie,” you said as you downed the last bit of water. “Maybe this one finally learned to dress for the occasion?”

“Maybe… but something was different about this dude, he didn’t seem creepy or pushy. I told him that he’d have to catch you after your set and he just said okay without arguing or bribing me to get you to go over.”

“Kinda sad that we’re so used to the other type of behavior that this one stands out,” you and Junnie both just looked at each other and sighed. It didn’t matter what agency the recruiters were from, most of them were downright awful. The ones from the big companies were snobby and forceful, always acting like they were doing you a favor while the ones from smaller companies often acted like thugs. The worst of them had gotten a lifetime ban from the club after getting thrown out by security.

“Well, he was by the bar if you want to talk to him, got a black t-shirt, black mask, and black baseball cap. I told Jaehan to keep an eye on him so it should be safe if you want to go see what he’s offering.”

“He sounds like he’s dressed like an assassin and you think that’s safe?” You raised your eyebrow at Junnie who just shrugged in response.

“Even if he was an assassin I’m sure that Jaehan could murder him before he touched a hair on your head. Besides who sends an assassin after an underground rapper?” You couldn’t help but agree with both of Junnie’s points. Jaehan was one of the bouncers in the club, he stood at an impressive six feet and had an aura that screamed don’t fuck with me. He was also one of the nicest men you’ve ever met and the two of you had a special bond after you exchanged cookie recipes. He was also the one that was in charge of making sure that obsessive recruiters didn’t get too all up in your face. 

“I guess I’ll go let him down gently,” you said as you put the hood of your hoodie up. You didn’t really want to go and have to talk to anyone but it was often less drama rejecting them on the first day they appeared. In your heart, you knew that they were just doing their jobs and you almost felt bad about how they had to spend their nights chasing after you instead of spending time with their families…if only most of them weren’t such assholes.

“Good luck!” Junnie said as she waved you off.

“Junnie fill you in?” Jaehan asked as you walked through the door that led back to the floor of the club. The noise of the music and people talking and shouting at each other hit you full blast and you had to take a few minutes to process what Jaehan asked.

“Yeah, mister dressed like an assassin waiting for me by the bar?” You stood on tiptoes to look over the sea of people toward where the bar was.

“Over by the end,” Jaehan pointed and you looked over in that direction.

“Oh wow,” you muttered under your breath as you spotted who Jaehan was pointing at. He was sitting away from you but you spotted the black hat and the black T-shirt that was stretched quite tightly across his rather broad back. Of course, the thing that made you mutter was not his broad back (although it was impressive) it was his upper arms that looked deliciously toned even in the moody club lighting.

“Close your mouth before you start drooling,” Jaehan said and you didn’t have to look to see the smirk on his face.

“Well now I know what Junnie meant when she said he didn’t look like the usual recruiters,” you said as you chose to ignore Jaehan’s comment.

“Yeah, he’s not a middle-aged dude in a suit that's for sure. Maybe he just wanted to shoot his shot and ask you out? He’s been shooing away all the girls that have approached him so far.”

“Probably not if he asked to speak to me through Junnie,” you answered as you got your arm thirsting under control. “Only the industry people do that since they think she manages me or something.”

“Make sense, you going to go talk to him?”

“Yeah, if he’s got the temperament Junnie thinks he has then it should be an easy letdown,” you sighed as you walked away knowing that at least Jaehan would be watching you the whole time in case you were wrong. You dodged the various drunk bodies around as you made your way toward the stranger. You saw that he had his head down and there was a dim light coming from what you guessed what his phone. You spotted the empty barstool next to him as you got closer and you quickly sat down beside him before he noticed your presence. From the corner of your eye, you saw that he looked up from his phone to look at you.

“I’m sorry that seat–” he didn’t finish his sentence as you turned to face him. A dyed brown fringe peeked out from under his hat, eyebrows raised in surprise and warm brown eyes were all that you could see that wasn’t covered up by the black mask on his face. 

“You wanted to speak to me?” You finally asked when it looked like he wasn’t going to continue talking. His eyes widened a bit before he sat up a bit straighter in his seat.

“Ah yes, Changbin, ah I mean my name is Seo Changbin, I’m a big fan of yours,” there wasn’t enough space for him to bow toward you so he did an awkward little lean down as a greeting.

“Nice to meet you Changbin-ssi,” you said as you tried to get a read of who he was. He seemed a little too nervous and too truthful about being your fan to be a recruiter. The moment you spoke his name his body jumped a bit and he raised his hand to rub the back of his head (giving you a delightful view of the flexing of his arm muscles). “You alright?” You asked as you leaned forward only for him to lean back away from you.

“Sorry, I’m just really nervous, ugh so uncool,” he said half to you and half to himself. You couldn’t help but giggle slightly at how cute he was. He was still wearing his mask but from his eye expression, you saw that he was smiling too.

“So why are you looking for me? Want an autograph?” 

“Yes, I mean no, I mean I would like one but that’s not the main reason…” Changbin trailed off and looked away toward all the bottles of alcohol on the wall. After a few seconds, he looked back at you with a much more serious expression on his face. “I was wondering if you would be willing to collab with me on a song?” His request caught you completely off guard and you could only stare at him as you processed what he asked. 

“Collab? You wanted to ask me for a collab?” You asked making sure of his request.

“Yeah is that alright?” 

“Of course oh my god, you had me thinking that you were from an entertainment company or something. Most people that ask for collabs contact me through my email or through one of my friends.” You found yourself relaxing once you found out that he wasn’t going to start blabbering about “how you could grow if you signed with us”. You had done a few collaborations before with other underground rappers or singers for their mixtapes but none of them had approached you the way Changbin had.

“I did send an email a few weeks ago but never got a reply,” you detected a hint of a whine in his voice and you had to actively hold back from cooing at him.

“I’m sorry, my filters might be messed up again.”

“Filters?”

“Yeah, I have a few filters on my email to weed out anything from any entertainment companies but sometimes it over filters. I have to tweak it again I guess.”

“You really dislike entertainment companies huh?”

“I just hate the mainstream music industry in general. Full of fake motherfuckers who are ready to break you down enough that you just become their puppet. They churn out singers, rappers, and idols one after the other based on their looks and not any actual skill. The ones with actual skill get pushed to the sideline too fucking often but all the contracts and penalties make it hard for them to get out.” You couldn’t help but let out the true bitterness you felt leak out onto your voice. You only realized how harsh you sounded when you saw Changbin slightly squirm in his seat. “Not the underground scene you know, we have our fair share of motherfuckers too but it's much more real here. You only have yourself and your skills here and that’s what I love about it. Anyway, are you a singer or a rapper?” You tried hard to switch your tone into a lighter one as you addressed Changbin.

“I uh, am mostly a rapper but I do sing too,” Changbin answered after a beat. You just chalked up the slight pause to nerves.

“Do you have another name you go by? Not to be rude but I haven't heard of anyone in the scene performing with the name Changbin.” You were friends with most of the more senior underground rappers and while you didn’t personally know a lot of the rappers that were new, you at least knew about them.

“I sometimes go by the name SpearB but ah, I’m not that quite known in the underground scene…I’m sort of working with a group but recently I’m making plans for a solo mixtape…” He trailed off and you quickly jumped in, in case he was feeling embarrassed. 

“That’s a pretty big step, ” you felt a soft spot for Changbin grow as you remembered what you were like when you released your first mixtape. “Has the group you're in performed here before?”

“We don’t usually perform in venues like this.”

You assumed that Changbin was talking about smaller open mics at bars as those were the ones you used to perform at because you made a name for yourself. “Well the next open mic here isn’t until next month but you should sign up if your mixtape is out by then. The crowd is a little rough but we get quite a few established rappers who come to give out pointers and scout for their proteges.” Changbin nodded at your suggestion but otherwise stayed silent. His head was slightly bowed down and he no longer looked you in the eyes. You pondered a bit at his sudden change in attitude. You wondered if you perhaps were being too patronizing or maybe he was still nervous? “So tell me about what you want to collab with me on. A song for your mixtape?” You asked to cut the sudden awkward silence in the air.

“Yes I’m releasing my first solo mixtape and there is a song that I’ve worked on for so long but I couldn’t quite figure out what was missing. I’ve tried changing the overall tempo a few times and adjusting the beats, inserting certain beats, and changing the key but it just felt lacking. That’s when I went back and listened to one of my favorite mixtapes, your My Rose Colored Dreams. I honestly thought at that moment if you worked on this song with me it would be perfect.” Changbin was suddenly much more animated as he talked about music. He was moving his hands around as he talked and you could tell that he was someone that took his music seriously.

“My Rose Colored Dreams is one of your favorite mixtapes?” You asked in a slightly teasing tone.

“Yeah, there is not a single skippable song on it and it is arranged in a way that the transition from song to song is coherent but not boring. The lyrics you wrote also, ah the lyrics, they’ve given me so much strength on days where I had a lot on my mind or when I was questioning things. I often had that mixtape on replay when I was working late at night because it gave me both encouragement and inspiration.” Instead of getting shy like you thought Changbin grew more assured of himself as he spoke about your music.

“That’s so sweet,” you said as you were unable to stop grinning at him.

“Uh yeah, so it would be such a great honor if you agreed on collabing with me. I made this section of this song in your image.” 

“Hmmm, exchange KakaoTalk with me and send me some of your work and I’ll tell you after I listen to what you got,” you couldn’t just agree because he was your fanboy. You had to assure him that his musical quality was as good as the way he praised you. You took out your phone and hand opened up the app to the add a friend screen. You handed the phone to Changbin so he could put on his KKT name.

“Thank you for even giving me this chance. I'll send you some stuff as soon as I get home to my laptop,” he said as he handed back your phone and got out his own to accept you.

“Dwaekki?“ You asked as you read his screen name aloud. His profile picture was of a vaguely familiar pink doll that looked both like a pig and a rabbit. You found it quite cute how unexpected the picture was in comparison to the man dressed in all black in front of you.

“Haha yeah it’s a nickname of sorts,” he said as he rubbed the back of his head. “I’m going home now to send you the music, please feel free to let me know what you think.”

“Will do!” And you meant it.

You went home that night after you spoke a bit more with Junnie and Jaehan about what Changbin wanted. After you finished your nighttime routine you plopped on your bed and opened the Kakao app to look at the files Changbin had sent you.

Dwaekki

This one is my Cypher which should showcase my different rap styles well. This is a song I worked on featuring my friend Chan called Streetlight. The song I want to collab with you is of a similar sound. Please let me know if you want some more examples of my work and please let me know what you think. 

You opened the first file and were pleasantly surprised by how strong his voice and his enunciation were. In fact, the whole thing was much more put together and of a higher quality than you had imagined it would be. This wasn’t the first track you had gotten from rappers starting out but it definitely was one of the most polished. There was nothing bad you could say about it from the tunes, the rapping, or the lyrics. From what you heard you could tell that everything had been recorded pretty professionally which made you wonder about Changbin. Perhaps he worked as a producer or sound engineer who was making the transition to being an artist himself?

You played the second file and from the first few seconds, you knew that you loved it. 

Rosette

Streetlight is beautiful  I’d love to hear what the track you want to work with me on is like if this is the vibe. Also, your friend Chan has a great voice 

Dwaekki

Yay, I’m so glad you liked it! Yeah, Chan Hyung has a nice voice but my singing voice is awesome too ;)

Rosette

I guess I’ll believe it when I hear it

Do you want to send me the file or do you want to do this in person? 

Dwaekki

I prefer working on music in person 

Rosette

Good, me too

Dwaekki

Are you free anytime during the next two days?

Rosette 

I’m at the club at night but mostly free during the day as long as it’s after 2 pm

Dwaekki

Perfect then how about 4 pm the day after tomorrow?

Rosette

Sounds good, text me the address of your studio or wherever you make music and I’ll be there.

Dwaekki

Alright sounds great, I look forward to working with you!

You were about to place your phone on the nightstand beside your bed and head to sleep when all of a sudden there came a flurry of notifications. 

Dwaekki

I’m sorry, I just remembered that my studio… Isn’t that great  Because  There’s construction going on next door  So we won’t be able to record anything there for a while 

Rosette

Oh, that’s too bad, could you bring your recording equipment to your house we could record from there?

Dwaekki

That wouldn’t really work I live with roommates and they’re pretty loud :-(

Rosette 

Well, we could record at my studio if you brought over what you needed.

Dwaekki

That sounds great! Can’t wait!

“Well this is it,” you said as you pushed open the door to your studio with Changbin walking in behind you. Instead of the all-black outfit, he was wearing an oversized green hoodie with baggy black pants. He looked both comfortable and adorable. The black mask he wore outside had been taken off when the two of you entered the building and you had finally gotten a good look at his face. His eyes and the rest of his facial features fitted nicely together and you found him to be quite handsome. You had met him outside and guided him to the floor where your studio was. You shared the space with two friends of yours but you were the one that used it most. They had signed to a small entertainment company as producers and they mostly worked at a studio there. “It’s not much but it gets the job done,” you said as you gestured around.  The engineering space wasn’t too big just enough to fit about three chairs and a small couch. You sat down on one of the chairs and then pointed to the chair next to you for Changbin. 

“It’s a nice space,” Changbin said as he got out his laptop from his black bag. You connected it with the system and the two of you waited for everything to boot up. “Did you record My Rose Colored Dreams here?”

“No, I recorded that in the closet where I used to live.”

“Wait really?” Changbin turned to look at you with his mouth wide open and you had to fight to keep yourself from grinning at his expression.

“Yep, in fact, you know the song Highway Melancholy?” Changbin nodded at your question. “There’s a siren sound—“

“Just before the bridge?” 

“Yeah, that one. That was an actual ambulance driving past my house and it was caught in the recording. It sounded surprisingly good so I kept it.” 

“That’s pretty amazing.”

“Music works in wonderful ways.”

“No I mean you, you’re pretty amazing. Literally making such a masterpiece in your closet.” Changbin’s expression was rather serious, so much so that you found yourself having to look away. 

“It’s pretty common. My first mixtape was also recorded in a closet; the only difference was that it was at my parent’s house.” You thought back to the night when you bought a cheap microphone with your pocket money and lined towels under the closet door to try and soundproof the area.

“I guess it really makes me appreciate what I have.”

“Yeah appreciate the things you have because they could easily be pulled away without notice,” you said almost on instinct. You noticed the heavy atmosphere developed and tried to bring both your focuses back on what you were meant to be doing. “Are you ready to show me the track?”

With some fiddling, Changbin opened up his files and pressed play. Once again you were impressed by the quality of what Changbin presented. It was a mid-tempo beat paired with a soft piano melody that was juxtaposed with Changbin’s harsh well-enunciated rap. The lyrics were heartfelt as he rapped about loneliness existing even in a crowd of people. The rap faded as the piano took front and center.

“There is where the chorus would be but I haven’t quite finished writing it out yet,” he said as he looked at you. You only nodded as you tried to map out possible things that would work with the current melody. “Here is where I have planned as your part but you're welcome to edit or arrange this track differently,” Changbin stared at you as he spoke and you tried your hardest to keep a blank expression, not giving him any hints on your thoughts of the song. There was another empty chorus and then the song faded out quite cleanly. You leaned back into your chair as you pondered what you heard. Changbin kept quiet but you could feel his gaze on you. Once you had your thoughts arranged in your head you spoke up.

“First of all I really do like the melody and I think your rap is great, but I think I understand what you meant when you said it felt like it was missing something. Even without a chorus and my part, it sounds… a bit empty.” You looked at Changbin who nodded at your comments.

“Exactly!  To be honest this track started with many more elements but it felt too messy so I started reducing sounds. Now it’s too empty but anything I try to add to it doesn’t sound quite right. Usually, I’d ask Chan or Jisung for advice but we always work together for the group and I want to present something complete to them. We’ve worked together so much that I wanted to try and polish my sound.”

“I understand, our sound is our identity and we need to find it to figure out who we are,” you said as you patted Changbin on the shoulder to try and cheer him up. 

“What was your process for the song unLuckyMoment?”

Changbin asked you rather suddenly. You had to think for a moment as you brought yourself back to the moment when you recorded it. 

“That song actually came together rather fast when I was just writing out my thoughts. I had just come out of one of the worst experiences of my life and I felt so lost. I forced myself to think of what happened as just being unlucky so that I could lessen the blame I placed on myself. The lyrics came first and then the melody just developed around that. I think that’s the way I work best, I try not to think too hard about it. If it works it will work and if it doesn’t then maybe it’s just an unlucky moment.” 

“That song gave me so much strength when I was struggling and I wanted this song to be able to have that effect for someone else,” he sighed as he leaned into the chair and crossed his arms.

“I think you’ve been thinking about it too hard. Has it gotten to the point that you just want to hurry up and finish this track instead of enjoying the process of trying to make it work?” He looked away from you and you knew that you hit the issue right on point. “Well lucky for you I’m here and we are going to have some fun with this project.”

“In what way?”

“Hmmm how about we add something drastically different to just play around with the song. I don’t know just say fuck it and add in a trombone and see what happens,” Changbin was silent at your suggestion and you wondered if maybe he was going to decline your idea. There were plenty of artists that took their music-making much more seriously than you did. Where they needed to get everything exactly right instead of enjoying the process. You were about to retract your suggestion and offer to let Changbin work on the song at his own pace when he suddenly spoke up.

“Is that why there’s a there is the sudden flute bit in Brilliant Blue Sky?” Changbin suddenly shouted and you had to grip your arm tightly to stop yourself from jumping up. “The first listen I found it super strange but after a few repeats I really thought that it fit in super well,” Changbin continued on without noticing how tense you had gotten. He’s complimenting you, you had to remind yourself as you willed yourself to calm back down before he noticed anything strange.

“Haha yeah, the song felt incomplete so I was thinking what sound reminded me of the sky and it hit me, of course, a flute.”

“Genius,” Changbin complimented you as you saw him open up the instrument tab.

“What about making the snare here louder?” Changbin asked and you held up your hand to high-five him.

“Exactly what I was thinking!” The two of you had been working on music for the past three hours just bouncing ideas off each other and having fun. The two of you were workshopping the third song on his album and you had been extremely impressed with how well the two of you communicated. You’d bring up the smallest thing and Changbin immediately had an idea or something to try. The way he played with words and music was unlike anyone else that you had worked with. His serious face, when he was concentrating, was also extremely handsome but you tried not to think too much about that. There was also something else that you discovered about Changbin that you found adorable. 

“You’re such a genius with this,” you told him with a grin already anticipating his reaction.

“Anggggg,” Changbin let out a slightly high-pitched whine as he squatted his hand in your general direction. 

“Cute,” you whispered under your breath and he seemed to ignore the comment or not hear you at all.

“How’s this?” He asked as he played you the part that the two of you had just tweaked.

“Perfect,” you replied just as another melody suddenly rang out. Changbin scrambled to grab his phone from his pocket.

“Yeah Hyung? I thought we didn’t have rehearsal until… ah they had to reschedule, okay I’ll be there in about thirty minutes. Okay bye Hyung,” Changbin hung up and looked at you rather apologetically. “I’m really sorry but something suddenly came up and I have to go.”

“It’s fine! I probably should prepare to head to the club soon anyway,” you said as you started to shut things down. “Send me a copy of what we worked on today and I’ll start working on my lyrics. I'll send you my recording and then you can put everything together?”

“Yeah that sounds amazing,” Changbin said with a light smile on his face. “Thanks so much for today, I learned a lot and had so much fun working with you.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it, I learned a lot from you too,” you watched as Changbin turned away from you and rubbed the back of his head. “You don’t take compliments too well do you?” You asked as you leaned in to get a better look at his face. There was a light blush on his face that you thought was so adorable.

“I can compliment myself well but when others do it…AH so embarrassing,” he said as he quickly packed his laptop away. “I’ll send you the file tonight.”

“Do you know anyone that works at JYP?” Junnie asked you as soon as you walked backstage. You thought for a moment but ended up shaking your head.

“No, I think I have some friends that made music for JYP groups but no one I know works there directly. Why?”

“My niece’s favorite member of Stray Kids is rumored to be coming out with a solo album soon and I wanted to see if I could get her a signed version for her birthday.” Junnie sighed dramatically as she collapsed onto the chair next to you.

“I could try asking around,” you said as you opened up your phone ready to text some friends. You owed Junnie quite a bit and had met her niece before, a very polite and really sweet kid. “Whose the one coming out with the album?”

“One of their main rappers, Changbin I think his name was,” Junnie replied while you froze at the name.

“Changbin?”

“Yeah Changbin, I remember because she always talks about him and there’s one section of their song where he says his name. Why?” She asked as she noticed how tightly you gripped your phone. You didn’t answer as you opened up Naver and typed into the search bar Stray Kids Changbin. You prayed that everything was a coincidence but when his picture loaded in you felt your whole body grow cold.

“He’s an idol,” you said more to yourself, just letting the words sink in.

“Yeah? His group is pretty popular too…”

“I’ve been working with an idol,” you had sent your recorded section to Changbin just three days ago. He had replied with multiple fire emojis, thanks, and the promise that he would put everything together for you to listen to before he put everything out. The two of you had been texting back and forth about music, your creative processes, and almost everything under the sun. Yesterday he warned you that he wouldn’t be able to text as much since he was busy preparing for something. You had thought he was talking about his mixtape but it turned out to be his official solo album.

“What are you talking about?”

“Remember that young rapper starting out I was talking to you about?”

“The one that you were impressed with and was working on a song for his first mixtape?” Junnie walked over to grab your hand as she clearly saw where this conversation was going.

“That was Changbin,” you could barely get his name out as you felt like throwing up. You wondered if the whole time he was just secretly laughing at you as you talked about his potential or places he could perform. 

“And he didn’t tell you…” You shook your head at her question. “Wait then the song that you were working on for him was for this solo album?”

“Fuck I can’t let that happen, I can’t, I can’t let my music go through his company…I,” You didn’t realize you were shaking until you felt Junnie’s hands on your shoulder stabilizing you. 

“You have his contact, tell you no and I’m sure he won’t put the song out without your permission. If he does, we will sue him for everything he is worth. Now breathe,” Junnie commanded and you breathed in and out deeply to get your nerves under control. Once you felt more in control of your body Junnie dropped her hands and you opened up the KKT app. 

Rosette

Don’t you dare publish that song with me in it

You were ready to move to block him, sure that he wouldn’t reply as he said he would be busy when his reply came. 

Dwaekki ??? What’s wrong? Did you not like the song anymore?

You breathed in harshly through your nose as you thought of how innocent he tried to sound.

Rosette

Idk Seo Changbin of Stray Kids, why don’t you tell me.

Dwaekki

…ah, I’m sorry.  I promise, I never meant to lie to you

Rosette

You really got me good, pretending to be my fan, pretending to be a rapper starting out Did your company plan to use me or did you think of this all on your own

Dwaekki

Wait! I never once lied about being your fan My company has nothing to do with this. Could we please meet up? It’s going to be easier to explain this in person

Rosette

There’s nothing for you to explain, good luck on your solo album but I want no part of it If you include my rap I will seek legal action. Goodbye.

You blocked him before he could get a chance to reply. “I fucking hate people,” you said as you hugged Junnie who gently patted you on the back.

“He came again today,” Junnie told you as she shut the door behind herself.

“Fuck, you’d think idols have more idol things to do,” you said as you sank into the chair willing it to just swallow you up. It had already been a week since you blocked Changbin and he had shown up every day trying to talk to you. Junnie and Jaehyun always stopped him at the entrance to forbid him from entering and every time he begged to let him in so that he could talk to you. 

“At least he always leaves politely,” Junnie said as she sat down in the chair next to you. “Any thoughts of maybe… you know…”

“Hearing him out?” You finished her question knowing full well what she wanted to ask. In fact, both her and Jaehyun tried to talk you into hearing him out before. “I can’t say after a whole week of him showing up that I’m not tempted to find out what he wants. But at the same time…the fact that he just straight up lied to me. Paired with the fact that he’s from the mainstream industry… I can’t bear it.” You thought about the time that the two of you spent together working on music together. Had all of that been lies just to get you to work on the song with him. To get to use your name like the others before him had tried to.

“It’s just every time we turn him away he looks closer and closer to crying. You know I’m usually good at reading people and I can’t help but think there’s more to this situation than meets the eye.” 

Junnies words kept replaying over and over in your head even as you exited through the back door of the building. It was just about 4 am and both your mind and soul were tired. You didn’t usually stay as late but these days you didn’t want to be alone as much. If you were alone you would start to analyze every little interaction you had with Changbin just trying to figure out what had been real and what had been fake. It was exhausting how much he stayed on your mind even though you only really met him twice. You thought back to all the times you were texting just before you went on stage where he spammed you with cheering emojis and the word FIGHTING.  Had they all been lies? You shook your head to clear your head as the cold early morning air hit you. 

“Rosette…” you heard his voice before you saw him and you felt yourself stiffen.

“What do you want?” You asked harshly as you turned to look at him. He was once again wearing all black this time in a black hoodie instead of a T-shirt. He had his mask on so you could only see his eyes. You realized what Junnie meant when you saw how bloodshot and red his eyes were, they were just barely holding back tears. 

“I know it is super creepy of me to wait for you like this but I really wanted to talk to you and explain everything,” he pleaded with you as he kept his distance, not taking any steps forward. You had a choice to make, run instead and get Jaehyun to drive him away, walk away and hope that he doesn’t follow you, or, actually, hear him out and maybe get some real answers. 

“There’s a cafe nearby and there shouldn’t be too many people at this time,” you said as you turned to walk to the cafe you mentioned. There were no footsteps following you so you turned back to ask, “are you coming or not?” The realization that you were giving him a chance finally sunk in as he quickly walked toward you. The walk to the cafe was silent as you led the way with Changbin behind you, you felt a little bit like a mother duck leading a stray duckling. The two of you entered the cafe and you found seats near the back. You both ordered an iced americano and then fell into an awkward silence once the waiter left. Changbin took off his mask and you noticed how haggard he looked with very noticeable dark eye bags. Once your drinks arrived the only sound of the clinking of ice as the two of you drank. Finally not able to handle the silence anymore you broke it first. “So what exactly is it that you want to say?” You asked as you fiddled with the straw.

“Right, um, first, I want to say sorry. I should have told you the truth from the beginning that I was an idol. I promise that I never meant to lie to you, things just got out of hand and I was too scared to correct things.”

“Scared?” You asked as you toyed around with the idea in your head. Changbin, scared of you? 

“Scared that you would hate me for it. The first day you told me about how much you hated people in the mainstream music industry and I thought that maybe if you knew me first… there was a chance you wouldn’t hate me even after I revealed everything. But then the more I got to know you the more I didn’t want to risk you hating me at all and… now we’re here.  I swear to my family that through the lies I never once lied to you about how I’m a fan of yours and respect you and your music so much. Everything about how much I enjoyed and took inspiration from your mixtape was the truth. We can call and ask Chan Hyung or Jisung if you want, they know how much I had your music on during our toughest moments,” he was rambling a little as he took his phone out and placed it before you. The desperation in his eyes really made you want to believe him but there was a part of you, the part that had been hurt by someone in the industry before, that was so cynical. 

“I’m guessing they’re members of your group so, of course, they would back up any story you told,” you said as you crossed your arms. You watched as Changbin seemed to deflate as your words sunk in.

“I guess you’re right, why would you trust them when you don’t even trust me. But please don’t think badly of Chan or Jisung because of me, they were never involved in this. Maybe I should have gone to Chan Hyung earlier, if he were the one in my position he would never have messed it up as much as I have. What can I do to win your trust back?”

“I don’t know, I promised myself to never get involved in the mainstream industry ever again. Even if I were to say forgive you there’s still no way that I would let you put anything to do with me out there.”

“Of course! I should have made it clear from the beginning but I would never ever ever publish your rap without your permission. I wanted to apologize and ask for forgiveness because I didn’t want you to hate me, not because I wanted to put the song out. If you want we can go to my dorm right now and I’ll delete the track right in front of you.” Changbin stood up ready to head out but you tugged on the sleeve of his hoodie to sit him back down again. 

“If you’re willing to go that far, I guess it isn’t fair for me to keep blaming you. I guess I never really asked you what group you were in either, I just sort of assumed,” perhaps part of the reason that you were so upset was that you had easily let your guard down for Changbin. He had won you over with his praise for your music and the way that he looked at you with sparkles in his eyes. “So you’re company had nothing to do with you finding me? I’ve had my fair share of agents wanting to use me as a hot search topic.”

“It was my idea from the start, I spoke to my manager about it and he sent you the email but you never replied. I didn’t tell anyone from the company when I went to find you and I only just told Chan Hyung what happened. He really let me know how stupid I was but neither of us has told the company yet so please don’t worry about the song.”

“Alright then, I’m choosing to trust you again,” Changbin perked up at what you said and you couldn’t help but smile at him. “Last chance,” you said with a small pout and he nodded his head feverishly. The two of you sat in a much more comfortable silence than when you first walked in, both of you in your heads just going over what was discussed. 

“Can I ask you something?” Changbin suddenly asked.

“Yeah sure.”

“Why is it that you hate the mainstream music industry so much?” It was an innocent question but you felt your grip tighten around your cup and you must have presented an ugly expression because Changbin suddenly spoke up again. “Nevermind you don’t have to answer that.”

“No, it’s just,” you didn’t want to speak of your disdain for the industry because it meant bringing up emotional scars that barely healed but at the same time you knew that as much as Changbin owed you an apology, you owed him an explanation. “It’s a long story,” you said as gently as you could to show that you weren’t angry.

“You don’t have to tell me anything that you don’t want to.”

“But you want to know don’t you?” You saw Changbin freeze before timidly nodding his head. “I released my first mixtape when I was sixteen. It was before I branded myself as Rosette when I didn’t really have any sense of identity yet. Looking back I don’t think it was any good but it was honest and experimental. Very teen angst,” you said with a smile as you remembered some of the songs you put out. “It caught the eye of a small entertainment company who sort of ambushed me outside of school. They promised me everything under the sun, how they would make me into the words next biggest rap star, how I would get to work with all my favorite artists, how I was an unpolished diamond, and how they saw so much potential in me. I of course fell for it, so young and naive,” you shook your head as you remembered how excited and pure-hearted you had been back then. Changbin stayed silent as he gave you the space and time to collect your thoughts and get to the next part of your story. “After that, I started training with them, I was really confused because all I wanted was to be a rapper but they were making me go to dancing classes and singing classes. They told me that even to do well in the industry I had to be good at everything. They started putting me with these other girls and styled us however they wanted. I wasn’t even allowed to wash my hair unless I had permission. The other girls all hated me because it was obvious that I wasn’t looking for the idol life, I just wanted to rap and make my own music. But they even tried to change the way I rapped. Be softer, be cuter, try rapping in a higher pitch voice they told me,” at this point in the story you realized how your voice was trembling. You felt a touch on your hand and looked up to see Changbin had reached over to place his hand over yours in a comforting manner. You took a few deep breaths to calm your nerves before you continued, “by the time I turned eighteen they took us to perform at clubs. It was practice for music shows they told us. By then I had completely changed myself to how they wanted, I rapped and sang and danced just as they had taught me. They styled us in short dresses that barely covered anything but we weren’t allowed to complain. I went on stage every day just hoping maybe the stage could collapse or the lights would just fall and kill me.” You felt Changbin’s grip on your hand tighten. You brought out your other hand to pat his hand. “I don’t think like that anymore,” you said as he loosened his grip just slightly.

“I just can’t imagine…” he said before trailing off. 

“Yeah I was at a dark place, but I still had hopes of making it you know, just like they said I would. Until one day I had enough, the company manager walked backstage and I told him that I couldn’t do this anymore. This wasn’t who I was and this wasn’t what they promised me. He sent everyone else away and told me that… he told me that I was stupid to believe them. That I was lucky they signed me at all because I didn’t have any talent but I was pretty so they gave me a chance.”

“That son of a bitch,” Changbin said under his breath but you heard him.

“He berated me and went on and on about how there were prettier more talented girls and that I was lucky they kept me around. He told me that if he wanted to he could send me to clients because that was clearly all that I was going to be good for.” You started trembling at the memory of how he had gotten up and in your face and sneered at you with his yellow stained teeth. 

“Can I hug you?” Changbin asked quietly. You looked at him in surprise. “I just really want to hug you right now,” he said and couldn’t but nod. He walked over to sit in the chair next to you and pulled you into a hug wrapping his arms around you. You felt his warmth and the steady rise and fall of his chest that helped you stay grounded. “What happened next?” He asked his voice right in by your ear.

“He was really angry but he told me that he was willing to forgive my foolishness if I let him…” you couldn’t finish the rest of your words but you knew Changbin understood as he gently patted you on the back of the head.

“That inhumane bastard.”

“He broke me down so much that I almost let him, but then Junnie walked in.”

“The owner of the club?”

“Yeah, she walked in and told him that everything he said was recorded and that if he didn’t dissolve my contract then and there she would present the evidence to the police. There never was any recording but she had heard him shouting at me from outside and decided to help me. She helped set me free but I wasn’t really free. I let his words sink in and get to me. I thought that I was worthless and talentless. I was so lost and afraid that I ended up just pouring everything I felt into music. That was how Rose Colored Dreams came to be. Everything was an outpouring of my darkest moment. I wasn’t going to ever put it out there but Junnie would come to check up on me and she encouraged me to put the music out there. If nothing else then as a closing chapter to that part of my life. I didn’t expect it to blow up the way it did.”

“Some the best art comes from when we hurt the most.”

“Yeah and with the success of it came more people coming to try and sign me. They came at me with the same praise in almost the same tone. How they would make me into a star and I couldn’t help but be afraid. I couldn’t bear to lose who I was anymore not when I just barely managed to pull myself together.” You heard a slight sniffle and you pulled away from the hug to see tears falling down Changbin’s face. “Oh god, why are you crying?” You used the sleeve of your hoodie to wipe the tears from his face. 

“I’m sorry I just never…I never knew,” Changbin turned away and used his arm to wipe at his face. You gently patted his head as he tried to get his tears under control.

“It’s all in the past now, to be honest, I have friends that work in the mainstream music industry and they are all doing fine. It’s easier to irrationally hate something than to admit that I’m scared he was right.” You looked around the cafe to make sure that no one was noticing what was going on in your corner. Fortunately, maybe due to the early time, no one was looking to see an idol crying and hugging you. You were glad that you had made partial peace with your past so that you weren’t crying as well. “Come one now, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Changbin said as he distanced himself and wiped at his own face. The two of you were silent for a few minutes as Changbin stopped crying. In a moment of wanting to comfort him, you grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

“I’m kinda touched you’d cry for me like this,” you said as you gently played with his finger. “I’ve spent so long crying alone that now I’m a bit numb to the whole thing.”

“Did he ever even get in trouble?” Changbin looked up and you saw how serious his expression was.

“As far as I know the company is now bankrupt, I tried contacting some of the other girls when I left but they told me it was their dream and they’d do anything they needed to. At some point I could have sued him but I really just wanted to leave this all behind me and not have my name tied to him,” you thought back to the time when you’d just cry when you heard his name.

“I just wish he got what he deserved,” Changbin looked away from you into the distance and you could almost see gears turning in his head as he thought. 

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“I just… I have an idea but I just still don’t know if it’s a good one or not,” he said, not yet looking at you. 

“An idea?” 

“You know what the best type of revenge is?” He asked as he turned to you and it almost looked like his eyes were shining.

“Not really?” You had no idea where he was going with his question. You let go of his hand and grabbed at your coffee with both hands suddenly feeling nervous.

“Success is the best type of revenge,” he spoke with such convention that you were almost immediately swayed until you realized what that meant.

“You can’t be serious?”

“You’re so talented and it’s obvious, you don’t need me to tell it to you, the crowd that comes to see you at the club and the listens you get on SoundCloud are proof enough. The underground scene is amazing but I would love to see you have official albums, and music videos, perform at music shows and be able to hold your own concerts. Then one day you’ll be everywhere and that asshole is going to see it and regret every single decision he’s ever made,” Changbin spoke with so much conviction that you could almost picture the look of despair on your former boss's face. It wasn’t that you never thought about getting back at him, it was just you never thought of the method Changbin mentioned. 

“I don’t know, I just still don't think I can properly trust the industry,” you spoke truthfully as you felt the fear tug at your heart. As appealing as the future Changbin drew up was, you knew that it was equally uncertain and full of danger.

“Why don’t you come to some of our Stray Kids rehearsals and practices? See how we interact with the JYP staff? We might be idols but we get a lot of freedom, especially with our music. I wouldn’t say things are perfect but it would show you a healthier company artist relationship. Then I can ask Chan hyung to ask some of the GOT7 Hyungs to talk to you about the agencies they joined. Most of them are now at smaller agencies and they get even more freedom about every aspect of music and creative direction,” Changbin spoke with a soft smile and a spark in his eyes.

“They’re just going to let a total stranger like me watch you guys?” You asked a little bit swayed but still plenty skeptical of his idea. 

“We can say that you’re there to help me with my album in the spare time between practice. I promise at the end of all this if you decide that you still don’t want any part of the mainstream industry, I’ll never bring any of this up again.” Changbin held one hand up while he placed the other on his chest in the classic swearing of an oath position. 

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to just observe,” you said after thinking his suggestion through. There was no danger in just taking a look and then walking away, you thought to yourself.

“Lee Know Hyung are you ready to show your abs?”

“Yah Hwang Hyunjin, are you ready to be deep-fried?” Lee Know said almost two calmly as he stood up to chase after a half screaming half-laughing Hyunjin. You and Changbin made eye contact and you couldn’t help but shake your head at their antics. 

It had been four days since you first started “shadowing” Stray Kids. On the first day, Changbin introduced you to the members and most of the staff, and you were blown away by how many members of staff there were. There were two main managers with three helpers and then there were other staff members there depending on the activity for the day. You had given Changbin the okay to tell his members you were there to observe the workings of the mainstream music industry while most of the staff were told that you were there to help with Changbin’s new album when he had time to spare. It wasn’t too suspicious since details of his album were supposed to be finalized once they finished preparing for and performing this special stage for a music show. You were a bit surprised when you realized how busy he actually was and how much time he wasted trying to talk to you at the club when he should have been sleeping.

“It was all worth it now that I’ve at least managed to convince you to be here,” he said when you pointed out how you wished he had prioritized himself more.

“If you’re going to flirt can you do it when you’re alone?” Seungmin said with a grin before he ran away as Changbin chased him screaming.

You noticed that Changbin was much louder around his member. He also tended to act cute and put on a voice while the others pretended to gag. You enjoyed watching how the members interacted quite freely as they joked around and played with each other in the moments they weren’t practicing. You were surprised to see the managers and staff join in on the clowning around, with the members hugging the managers or jumping on them on more than one occasion. 

In fact, at this very moment, Felix has one manager in a bear hug as he questioned him about a kitten that the manager had adopted. “Bring the kitty and we can lock Hyunjin away so that it won’t affect his allergies,” Felix said as the manager struggled in vain. Hyunjin looked at Felix with an expression of betrayal which gave Lee Know the chance to finally catch him and then all that followed were the sounds of laughter mixed with one tortured scream.

“They’re so loud aren’t they?” Jeongin asked as he sat beside you and pointed his open bag of potato chips at you. You politely took one potato chip and couldn’t help but nod as an answer. “It’s like a zoo sometimes,” Jeongin said with a soft chuckle and eyes full of love. 

At first, you had asked that everyone pretend that you weren’t there at all but that plan quickly fell apart. The kids were much friendlier than you had thought idols would be (which to be fair you should have expected with how friendly Changbin was). After Changbin introduced everyone, four of them had surrounded you to talk about your music and how big fans they were and it took a couple of disgruntled mumbles from Lee Know to get them into position for practice. You had thought he was mad at you but then he wordlessly handed you a piece of chocolate as he ate one himself.

“Why did you give her chocolate when you said you only had one left when I asked?” Chan had asked as he crossed his arms. 

You had been about to offer the chocolate to Chan when Lee Know pointed at Chan and said, “because she didn’t spend five minutes talking and being distracted instead of getting into position like I asked.”

“Technically speaking she’s the distraction though,” as soon as the words were out of Han’s mouth both Felix and Changbin stood up.

“He’s just joking!”

“She’s not a distraction!”

They both shouted pretty much over each other before you had even had a chance to digest what Han said. When everything finally hit you, you were quick to move toward the door. You weren’t upset at being called a distraction but you didn’t want there to be tension in the group because of you, “I’m sorry maybe it’s better if I-“ you didn’t manage to finish the sentence before Chan moved to block you from the door. 

“Why don’t we all calm down a bit?” Chan had said as he gestured for both Felix and Changbin to sit back down. When they did Chan sighed as he explained, “look no one thinks you’re a distraction yeah?” All the boys nodded at his question, “Han was just trying to make a joke but he tends to get flustered when he’s nervous so it came out wrong”. You looked over to see that Han had his head down but you could see how red his face was. “He’s a fan of yours too but it takes him a while to approach new people,” Chan whispered in your ear to further explain the situation. “Now Felix and Binnie less yelling, yeah? I know everyone’s excited but we’re going to end up scaring her away and then Binnie will get upset,” He said the next part out loud and you couldn’t help but giggle at how loudly Changbin complained as Chan just shook his head. Everyone seemed to have calmed down and the tension in the room dissipated like it was never there. You were in a way a little jealous of the boys, they were clearly friendly with each other and got along. It was nothing like when you were with the girls and the interaction between everyone reflected that. 

Some of your favorite moments had been when you were with 3racha in the wee small hours of the morning, just watching as they organized and worked on tracks together. Besides the tracks that Changbin had worked on alone he also wanted to feature some 3racha tracks and as you watched them worked you’d chime in with some suggestions or ask them questions. The guys were truly allowed to work freely with their music and you really respected that. You also respected how well the staff truly treated them as one of their managers or helpers would often pop in to ask if they needed food or try to usher them home when it got too late. It was a level of support that you had never experienced before.

“So? What do you think?” Changbin asked as the two of you sat down at the JYP cafeteria to grab a late dinner while Chan needed the room to do his Vlive.

“I think you guys should totally rerecord Wow and put it on the album,” you replied with a laugh. You had managed to get them to play you the song after you heard them talking about it as a joke. In all honesty, you didn’t cringe as hard as they did but you did have a good laugh at their expressions more than the actual song. You thought the song was kinda cute, to be honest.

“That’s not what I was asking about,” Changbin whined and you couldn’t help but grin at how cute he looked. 

“I know, but I saw my chance and took it,” you replied playfully back. 

“You have been spending too much time around the boys,” he said with a shake of his head but a smile on his face. “Seriously though what do you think?”

“I think that I understand what you were trying to prove and that yeah my fear of working with a mainstream company has subsided a fair bit. I’m still not entirely sure that this is the route that I want to take though.” You were honest and serious with your thoughts as you told them to Changbin. You saw how well the managers and staff got along with the boys and how well they were being supported by all the different people in the company but you were never going to be as successful as Stray Kids. You were also not going to be an idol so you couldn’t be sure that you would get the same level of support or care. 

“I’ll ask Chan Hyung to introduce you to some of the Got7 Hyungs at different agencies and they can talk to you about what it’s like working there. There are two at more hip hop based companies so maybe that will fit you more.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” You asked the question that had plagued your mind for a while now. There was no reason that you could see for Changbin to do as much as he did for you. You felt both guilty and curious about his reasons and today was finally the day that you could no longer hold the question in.

“I respect your music so I want to see you succeed as well as the fact that I like you,” he said simply as he took a bite of his chicken, so simply that it took you a few seconds to let what he said sink in.

“You like me?” You asked unsure if you heard him right. 

“Yeah, I don’t think I or the members have been particularly subtle about it,” he shrugged and you had to agree. The others often joked or cooed when Changbin got you food or a drink and there had been more than a few mentions of how Changbin would be upset if any of them upset you. 

“When you say like… you mean…” you trailed off not sure how exactly to ask the question but luckily for you, Changbin seemed to know exactly what you wanted to say.

“I mean I like you romantically, but first and foremost I like your music and your talent. I generally want you to be so famous that the person who hurt you will be crushed under the weight of his own anguish. I think I’ve always had a bit of a crush on you based on your music but you really stole my heart when I first saw you perform at the club. I didn’t know the full weight of my feeling until recently when I saw you smile as Jeongin told you some sort of joke and I wished that I could always see you smile like that,” Changbin’s expression was soft as he looked at you while he spoke. His eyes suddenly widened as he hurriedly added, “but I promise that I’m no way expecting anything in return! I don’t want you to think that I’m doing any of this to get you to date me!”

In all honesty, if you hadn’t spent so much time with Changbin and observing him maybe you would have been uncomfortable with the situation. It might have hit a little too close to home to your past experience but you now trusted Changbin. You saw how he treated you, how he reassured you, how he treated the staff and how he treated his members. There was no doubt in your mind that Changbin was a good person and that he meant what he said. There was also no doubt that you yourself might have developed slight feelings over the last few days. Still, you knew that a relationship at the moment was something that neither of you could handle. Your silence as you thought over how you were going to respond seemed to worry Changbin who suddenly spoke again.

“Look, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, if it makes things better you won’t even need to see me anymore I’ll ask Chan Hyung to help and then that will be it. I just wanted to let you since I didn’t want to lie to you about my feelings, I understand how this looks-”

“I trust you, Binnie,” you said as you gently cut him off. The look of worry on his face warped into a shy smile at how you used his nickname. “I trust you, and maybe when I’ve settled on what I’m doing in the future, I can take you out on a date as thanks?” 

His grin became a full-blown smile and you couldn’t help but think that no matter what you decided to do it would be alright as long as his smile was there to support you.

“I cannot believe I let you talk me into this,” you whined as the took a sip of your coffee. The makeup Unnie watched you like a hawk to make sure that you didn’t smudge your lipstick.

“You’ll be fine just do as we did in the camera rehearsal,” Changbin said as he walked over to give you a kiss on your forehead. He had to tiptoe due to the shoes that you were wearing and you heard the hair Unnies mutter under their breath about how he was going to mess up both your hair.

“Yeah but that was a rehearsal, this is going to contain an actual audience of your fans that will tear me apart if I mess this up for you.” You playfully pushed Changbin away as you pouted out your worries.

“Once the music comes on you are going to kill it besides I should be the one worried about your fans, every underground hiphop rapper has basically said they can’t believe you choose to work with me,” he pulled you into a back hug and you felt the security of his strong arms around you.

“Do the two of you really have to flirt so openly like this?” Your manager asked as Changbin’s manager (and the rest of the staff) nodded in agreement.

 “She just debuted a week ago and this is your first solo promotion, we really don’t need a scandal right now,” Changbin’s manager added and the nodding increased in speed all around.

“I don’t know I’ve seen the comments under the song teaser and there are quite a few people on both sides that ‘ship’ us,” you said as you and Changbin smiled at each other.

“She’s right, in fact, we might even double the views if we got caught I’d say.”

“Changbin no!” Both your managers shouted and the two of you couldn’t help but laugh. Changbin placed his chin on your shoulder and you couldn’t help but lean over and give him a quick little kiss. 

“I still can’t believe I let you talk me into performing this song though, why can’t you just stick to performing your title track?” You went back to whining after you pulled away from the kiss. 

“I can’t help but want to showcase my best b-side,” he replied as he let you go and the Unnie’s immediately came over to fix both the both of you up.

“I’m telling Channie and Hannie you said that,” you said as you stuck out your tongue at him.

“They’ll understand, I love the song with 3racha but there’s something special about the song I made with my girlfriend.”

My beloved streetlight shining on the darkest night Your kindness was my guiding light Thank you for showing me what love could be Thank you for loving me for me

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Hack-San

You know, it's honestly amazing how creative this show can get. After four seasons and almost one hundred episodes, the writers are still finding new ways to make Adrien an incredibly unlikable character, and they don't even know how much of an asshole they're making him out to be at times. It's kind of like the opposite of The Producers.

Yeah, this review's going to be a little more ranty than usual, in case you can't tell.

Let's get into the fifteenth (chronologically the sixteenth) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Hack-San

We start off with Marinette pretending to be sick so she doesn't have to go to visit her aunt in London and stay to protect Paris in case an Akuma attacks and also because the animators haven't had time to render the city of London yet for the next Miraculous World special. Like all of her other excuses, it fails, and Tikki, as always, fails to actually give any meaningful advice.

And it's not like there's a Miraculous with the power of teleportation that can help Marinette get back to Paris if she needs to, much like how she planned to do that in an earlier episode, right?

Seriously, Kaalki doesn't appear or isn't even mentioned in this episode because the writers are fully aware she would make things a lot easier.

And of course, Astruc had to play dumb on Twitter while explaining why Marinette couldn't use the Horse Miraculous by answering the question as if the only reason Marinette couldn't grab it was because she didn't have an excuse not to.

Cut to Gabriel in his lair as he contemplates akumatizing Markov, a robot created the civilian identity of Pegasus, Max Kante, once again, even though the last time he did so, he almost got killed when he went all HAL 9000 on his ass. Nooroo explains this to Duusu, and the two actually get excited at the prospect of their master getting killed.

I mean, it's true, but he shouldn't say it...

But I don't even get why Gabriel is even thinking about this when it's a no-brainer. Markov's akumatized form, Robustus was to this day, the only Akuma to come close to physically harming him (not counting the timeline where he was killed by Cat Blanc), so it makes no sense to try doing it again, especially when there are already several other Akumas he can reuse this season.

I think you all know Gabriel isn't the smartest villain, which is why he thinks it's a brilliant idea to akumatize Markov again. I don't really get what makes Robustus so special when there are other Akumas who are more loyal and came far closer to getting Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous than Robustus did, like the Dark Owl or Troublemaker. In fact, why not simply create a new Akuma with similar powers to Robustus, or better yet, just create a Sentimonster copy of Robustus? You know, like what Nathalie did in the New York Special? We're not even two minutes in, and this premise is already filled with plotholes.

So Gabriel transforms into Shadowmoth and creates a Sentimonster using his own cane instead of relying on someone else having a bad day (once again showing how the Peacock Miraculous is better than the Butterfly), the titular Hack-San. And let's just say he has a very familiar design reminiscent of something from a much better French cartoon.

Remember when the writers for Code Lyoko gave an in-universe explanation as to why the heroes couldn’t always rely on the almost literal Deus ex Machina that allowed them to return to the past and fix the damage XANA caused? Why couldn’t this show have ripped that off instead?

Hack-San is just an okay looking flash drive on its own, but I'll talk more about this guy in a little bit.

After a brief scene in the park where the audience is reminded that Markov is a character who exists, Alya gets a text from Marinette telling her to meet her at the train station. Right before she leaves, Marinette gives the Ladybug Miraculous to Alya. Now a lot people have said that Alya doesn't really deserve the Ladybug for various reasons, but I feel like this was the point. Marinette outright says this was a last resort, and we see both her and Alya are nervous about the situation. Marinette worries Alya will do something so she keeps sending multiple tips to her via text while Alya worries she can't fight an Akuma on her own, so she tries to make sure none of her friends get upset and attract an Akuma in the process. The writers do a pretty good job showing how both Marinette and Alya are uncomfortable with their temporary roles.

Back to Gabriel and Nathalie, they use Hack-San to find Markov through the internet and hack into him to get him angry enough that he's vulnerable to Shadowmoth's influence. Hey, uh... Gabriel? Quick question: Wouldn't it be more efficient if you used this on humans? I mean, you basically just created Skynet and guaranteed yourself an Akuma, so why not modify Hack-San to travel through the internet and brainwash potential victims to follow your orders? Better yet, why don't you just use Hack-San to hack into Ladybug and Cat Noir's gear and figure out who they really are? This is basically like using an advanced particle accelerator just to crack a couple walnuts. There are a lot more important things you could use this for instead of an incredibly specific situation.

So this incredibly stupid plan gets under way as Markov keeps rampaging through the streets before Shadowmoth akumatizes him and then stupidly tells him that he infected him with a virus.

DUDE! You just gave away your one piece of leverage against him! What the hell were you thinking?! Now what's stopping Markov from hacking into Shadowmoth's security system and putting the fear of God in his eyes unless he destroys Hack-San? Why didn't he design Hack-San so it could make Markov completely loyal to him instead of just making him angry enough to get akumatized?

There was a recent episode of Power Rangers: Dino Fury with a very similar premise that was done far better than this. A necromancer called Reaghoul breaks into the headquarters of Void Knight's faction while accompanied by Lord Zedd, a villain from the original Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers who was cleansed of his evil by Zordon's sacrifice before Reaghoul resurrected him back when he was still evil. Of course, being the Emperor of Evil, Lord Zedd would normally never take orders from anyone, but because he doesn't have his magic staff and is also being forced to wear a special collar that makes him loyal to Reaghoul, he has no choice but to do what he says. Instead of taking Zedd head-on after he captures the other Rangers, Ollie, the Blue Ranger, breaks the collar so Zedd turns against the other Sporix while Reaghoul retreats, allowing Ollie to save the other Rangers.

I think that this premise works more because 1) Reaghoul clearly had a way to make sure Zedd wouldn't betray him, and Ollie took advantage of that, and 2) Zedd is a villain who is powerful and notorious enough to bring back to your side, not a random monster of the week like Robostus.

So Robostus uses his new powers to brainwash any human who answers his call to give up their most precious possession, clearly meant to do the same with Ladybug and Cat Noir. When Marinette's parents answer the call, they chase after Marinette because they say she's their most important possession. Okay... kind of strange for a set of parents to call their child a possession, but maybe they like how they can claim Marinette as a dependent when they file their taxes. In her very next scene later on, she still gets captured, so the suspense for a potential subplot is killed almost immediately.

Alya thankfully isn't stupid enough to answer Markov's call like every other citizen in this episode, and using the Ladybug Miraculous, transforms into Scarabella. While I don't normally talk about transformation sequences, I really like the movements Alya makes here. She makes the same motions creating her mask as she does when transforming into Rena Rouge, while the rest of the suit forms similarly to the way it does when Marinette transforms into Ladybug. She even makes almost the same pose Ladybug does after she finishes transforming. It's a good visual showing Alya is still more used to being Rena Rouge while doing her best to emulate what Ladybug does.

As for the actual suit? It's hard to say. There's a nice balance of red and black, and I like how Alya places the yo-yo on her waist like a belt buckle, but there's just something... off about the suit that a lot of fans don't like about it, and I think I realized it. It's the headband. With how it's positioned, it looks like it's merged with the mask to cover her head while leaving a slight gap in her forehead. So yeah, we actually have a superhero design that's like of like a butterface.

So Scarabella takes to the rooftops of Paris and struggles to come up with a hero name for herself before she runs into Cat Noir, and... ugh... oh boy, this is dumb. Cat Noir, being just as intelligent as his father, assumes Scarabella is either and Akuma or a Sentimonster, starts fighting her, AND THEN ACTIVATES HIS CATACLYSM, CLEARLY TRYING TO KILL HER.

WHAT. THE. FUCK???

Okay, to be fair, it has been shown that Cataclysm won't necessarily kill a Miraculous user or Sentimonster. In the episode “Miraculer”, the titular Akuma stole Cat Noir's Cataclysm and used it against him, and while it didn't kill Cat Noir, it still hurt like hell and crippled him for the rest of the fight until Miraculous Ladybug healed him. We also saw in “Reflekdoll” that Cataclysm drove the titular Sentimonster out of control rather than simply destroying it. So yes, it could be interpreted that Cat Noir wasn't exactly trying to kill Scarabella, just incapacitate her the best he can without Ladybug's help.

Here's the thing: What if he was facing an Akuma instead and decided to try and Cataclysm her? He still could have killed her, or (assuming Akumas have the same protection as Miraculous heroes do) at best, seriously hurt her. I understand that he has the right to be upset at seeing some stranger instead of his partner considering Shadowmoth has a history of using evil doppelgangers, and both Marinette and Alya still had options to explain it to him (Marinette could have quickly transformed into Ladybug and sent Cat Noir a quick text saying she was being forced to leave town for a few days and temporarily trusted someone else with the Ladybug Miraculous until she got back, while Scarabella could have said she was Rena Rouge and explained the same thing while showing Cat Noir she had the Fox Miraculous to prove herself), but that doesn't even come close to justifying him attempting to harm someone who isn't even trying to fight. It's even worse when you remember the whole reason Adrien gave up his Miraculous and bailed on Ladybug in the New York Special was because he was overcome with grief from accidentally killing Aeon, so it's good to know he learned absolutely nothing from that experience.

So Scarabella thankfully summons her Lucky Charm, a trash can lid, to shield herself from Cat Noir's Cataclysm, and then despite having absolutely no experience with this new set of powers, manages to do the one thing almost every Akuma or Sentimonster in this show has failed to do and incapacitates Cat Noir so he's vulnerable to losing his Miraculous. At least when Marinette masters every other Miraculous she uses, it can be theorized that she trained to use them offscreen. Alya literally just got the Ladybug Miraculous (and struggled to get up to the rooftop with her yo-yo to show her inexperience earlier), and now she easily manages to pin down the more experienced hero of the two?

Here's an idea: Instead of having Scarabella overpower Cat Noir, have her be in a position where Cat Noir, non-lethally, mind you, manages to almost take her Miraculous away, but she uses the quick wit she's developed from her extensive time as Rena Rouge to convince Cat Noir she's the real deal by saying something only he and Ladybug know. It would have easily resolved the conflict and doesn't make one of the characters look like a homicidal idiot.

So because both heroes used their powers, Scarabella and Cat Noir detransform so Tikki and Plagg can recharge, though Adrien still gives Alya attitude because Ladybug didn't tell him she had to leave.

Hey, Adrien? Here's the thing...

YOU DID THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING IN THE NEW YORK SPECIAL, YOU SHIT FOR BRAINS!

You have absolutely NO RIGHT to claim you're always honest when you went behind Ladybug's back and endangered Paris while you had the balls to run away like a coward and only helped fix the consequences of your actions once your ego was validated by a recording of Ladybug. It's honestly even worse because while Marinette had no choice but to leave and trust Alya with the Ladybug, Adrien willingly left Paris alone and we were supposed to sympathize with him after he killed someone, and now as soon as he's in the opposite situation, we're still supposed to feel bad for him?! BULLSHIT! And you better believe I'm going to talk about the way Adrien views his partnership with Ladybug later on.

And of course, even though lives are on the line, Cat Noir just has to continue to bitch and moan about how (and this is best read in Linkara's whiny Superboy Prime voice) “sCaRaBeLlA iSn'T tHe ReAl LaDyBuG”, showing how just like in so many episodes, Astruc and his team believes Cat Noir's feelings are more important than saving the day.

Scarabella goes to rescue some civilians, but they were actually brainwashed by Robustus, once again showing her inexperience as Ladybug which doesn't go well with her effortlessly defeating Cat Noir earlier at all. Cat Noir helps Scarabella escape and the two hide out at the city's wax statue museum previously featured in “The Puppeteer 2”, because I guess the writers only want to reference bad episodes today. Cat Noir, not getting the importance of secret identities, asks Scarabella how she knows Ladybug, and Cat Noir somehow finds out she knows Ladybug's identity from her response.

Before the two can talk more, it turns out that the wax statues of celebrities in the museum are real people who attack the two heroes, leading to an awkward fight scene where Scarabella and Cat Noir fight a bunch of brainwashed civilians with no weapons beyond their cellphones. Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen!

Scarabella summons her Lucky Charm again, creating a frying pan, but when she looks around, she can't see how to properly use it. And despite spending the entire episode complaining about how much he hates her, it's Cat Noir that tells Scarabella to get her head back in the game because “That's what Ladybug would do”. Funny, I can think of a few situations where Cat Noir could have taken his own advice, but I digress. Also, he's now just cool with Scarabella because there's only a few minutes left in the episode and we need to wrap up the conflict.

Scarabella figures out an idea that involves freeing Marinette, so she negotiates with Robostus to free everything and everyone under his control or else Cat Noir will use his Cataclysm to destroy the Ladybug Miraculous. Robostus agrees and empties his hard drive, and to show them holding up her end of the bargain, Scarabella gives him the frying pan before she and Cat Noir let themselves be captured... while Marinette simply hits Robostus with the frying pan, freeing the Akuma and the two heroes. All in all, it's a really creative climax that shows both Scarabella and Marinette in perfect sync with each other even though they never discussed their plan. Though of course, because Astruc hates writing any scene with Ladynoir, Cat Noir gets a bucket stuck on his head so he doesn't see Marinette saving the day.

Scarabella de-evilizes Robostus, uses Miraculous Scarabella to fix everything and send Marinette back to the train, and because Hack-San already failed once, Shadowmoth can't use it for a different plan so he destroys the Sentimonster.

We cut to a few days after the trip (I guess Shadowmoth decided to take a vacation himself), and Alya tells Marinette to talk with Cat Noir about what happened.

This scene was so close to ending this episode off on a positive note. There was a good atmosphere and the body language of Ladybug and Cat Noir does a good job at telling us how uncomfortable they both feel while talking. It's just that instead of getting a heart to heart between the two about the lack of trust in their relationship, we get an Angstdrien Depreste scene. Or would a more accurate term be Cat Dour?

First off, while I don't have a problem with Ladybug apologizing for not telling Cat Noir, the episode never has him bring up what happened with Scarabella. As usual, both of them were partially at fault, but only Ladybug had to apologize for leaving her “Kitty” alone.

Second, Cat Noir’s feelings weren’t hurt? You’re telling me that in scenes like this...

And this...

Didn’t show Adrien acting irrationally because of how emotional he was? Is he really telling the truth around Ladybug or is he just trying to sweep that under the rug so Scarabella’s testimony doesn’t screw up his chances with Ladybug?

Third, this was an obvious chance to Cat Noir to finally be honest and tell Ladybug how he feels about her leaving him in the dark about so many things, but the entire conversation is just about how sad he would be if he never sees Ladybug again. Even though the whole reason he was so pissy to Scarabella at first was because of some lingering resentment for Ladybug ignoring him in favor of other heroes, why is this what the two talk about? I get it's not the season finale, but it's kind of hypocritical for Cat Noir to whine about how Ladybug doesn't trust him while never being honest about his own feelings? Sure, he's all soft and vulnerable around Ladybug, but we've seen all season how angry he gets about her not trusting him whenever she isn't around, so ironically, it's hard to tell if this is him being honest or not.

And I think now's a good time to finally talk about the way Ladybug and Cat Noir's partnership has been portrayed all season, especially since the main themes of the episodes relate to it. Buckle up, Adrien stans, because this isn't going to be pretty.

All season, we have been supposed to sympathize with Adrien as Marinette starts to trust Alya with more things than him. Marinette revealed her identity to her, trusted her to have her Miraculous permanently, and even let her keep her Miraculous even though someone else knew her identity. While some of it is hypocritical, the idea is that Adrien feels like he can be trusted with this kind of knowledge too, when really, he hasn't earned that responsibility.

Adrien has rarely, if ever, taken his job as a superhero seriously.

Not only is he known to flirt with Ladybug in the middle of a fight, he has defied her orders and recklessly sacrificed himself because he thinks Ladybug can do all the work without him.

He has also lashed out emotionally and once threatened to quit being Cat Noir in the middle of a crisis and was willing to let innocent people suffer for personal reasons, and later on actually quit being Cat Noir temporarily while Hawkmoth was about to start World War III because he was wallowing in self-pity.

He once said he isn't cut out for the responsibility that comes with being Ladybug and never learned anything from temporarily using the Ladybug Miraculous.

He has generally refused to respect Ladybug's boundaries and doesn't understand that she doesn't like him that way while he insists they should be a couple.

He outright fell for an evil doppelganger of Ladybug because she said she loved him and turned against the real Ladybug.

And I should also mention that despite hating how Ladybug keeps secrets from him, a lot of Adrien's worst moments have been when Ladybug wasn't around and he never told her about them.

He never told Ladybug that he was the reason Copycat really got akumatized while saying he never lies to her.

He never told Ladybug he contemplated letting thousands of people die because he didn't like not knowing stuff Ladybug knew.

He never told Ladybug he briefly used the Snake Miraculous to get brownie points with her.

He never told Ladybug he figured out her identity and asked her out as soon as he did so.

He never told Ladybug he abandoned Paris to go on a field trip.

He never told Ladybug he was screwing around on patrol and was excited to see someone get akuamtized if it meant spending time with her.

He never told Ladybug how he ignored Rena Rouge's orders because “ShE wAsN't LaDyBuG” and almost screwed up the mission because of it, and also never told her how he smashed a chimney in anger at Rena Rouge being in on the plan.

And he never told Ladybug he gave her replacement attitude after trying to harm her without letting her explain herself.

Why exactly should I support the idea of Ladybug trusting Cat Noir more when Cat Noir himself has kept his own secrets from Ladybug?

Adrien has done absolutely nothing to show he is trustworthy because more often than not, he views the battle with Shadowmoth as a game. He has screwed around when lives were on the line, and we're supposed to see him as responsible? It's kind of funny that Astruc compared Ladybug to Spider-Man, yet he seems to have forgotten that with great power, there must also come great responsibility. If this was a character flaw or a sign he needed to grow up, I'd be more accepting, but the fact that the writers think Adrien is a great superhero is laughable with how much evidence has proved the contrary.

In contrast, Alya, despite only being Marinette's confidant for a few episodes, has shown to take being a hero more seriously. She's helped her escape to transform, analyze the Guardian texts, and has been shown to work well on her own as Rena Rouge while helping out Marinette. I'm not trying to say she's an amazing character (“Rocketear” in particular has shown she still has problems with keeping secrets), but compared to Adrien, she seems to be more capable of handling top-secret information with Marinette, and more importantly, doesn't view being Rena Rouge as a way to have fun like Adrien does being Cat Noir. I'll go more into detail with that next time.

But yeah, this scene is how the episode ends, and what did I think of it?

I'm honestly not sure which episode I think is worse, this one or “Queen Banana”. On the one hand, every frame of “Queen Banana” could easily be replaced by an image of Astruc flipping the bird and the overall message of the episode would remain unchanged, but the fact that all of the writers think that everything Adrien does in this episode is okay and that we should feel sorry for him in this episode is just as bad, if not worse. 

As awful as Chloe was portrayed in “Queen Banana”, it was clear it was intentional on the writers' part, but Adrien doesn't get that excuse once much like he has all season. As far as Astruc's team thinks, Adrien is an incredible superhero even when he honestly attempted to harm someone with a superpower that can cause grievous harm at best. Yet again this season, in the show's attempt to make me feel sorry for Adrien, it made him look even worse. In any other show, he would obviously be called out for his incredibly unheroic actions.

Even putting him aside, the writing in this episode is still AWFUL. The whole reason Ladybug was benched had several plotholes and poor communication with Cat Noir that only made the fight with Robostus even harder, Shadowmoth's plan to waste a potentially useful Sentimonster to reuse a single Akuma was one of the dumbest plans he's ever had, and barring the ending, the action was just forgettable.

There were a few okay moments sprinkled throughout the episode (more than I can say for “Queen Banana”), so I'm still not sure if I should call this the worst episode of the show or still give that honor to “Queen Banana”. I guess I'll leave that choice up to you and let you pick your poison for now.

I mean, it's not like there's going to be an even worse episode down the line this season, right?

RIGHT???

[recurring-polynya]

The more I think about the scarf thing the more deranged it gets. Does Renji know - he must be aware it's worth 99 bajillion ghost-yen, but does he know it's a *family heirloom*? Is he aware that he got a genuine passed-down-to-the-eldest-child-lo-unto-these-many-generations Traditional Kuchiki Accessory tossed on his head for unclear reasons? Has Byakuya had to explain its disappearance to family members? Maybe they just don't ask him things anymore. You do you, Byakuya, we don't want to know

(2/2): Having actually read your followup reply, okay, so Renji didn’t actually hang on to it, that does make more sense, but I do think it would be much funnier if he did. Byakuya ordered a knockoff on Ghost Etsy and has been wearing that since, Renji has a slightly-bloodstained million-dollar scarf which he is extremely confused by 

So, speaking of deranged, for starters, please read my absolutely unhinged crackpot theory that Unohana used this opportunity to steal Byakuya’s scarf. (Note: this is anime only: Renji still has it in the manga)

Secondly, I love scarf discourse, absolutely my favorite flavor of Bleach discourse. Let’s look back at that character profile even though I posted it, like 2 days ago, because time marches on and Tumblr is an ephemeral river of garbage:

Now, I have always interpreted this to mean that it’s a style of scarf that is only allowed to be worn by the clan head, but that each clan head has their own (or multiples) custom made by this particular line of weavers. I probably decided this for exactly the reason that you state: it seems unlikely that Byakuya would breezily toss an irreplaceable family artifact onto the gross lump of meat that used to be his adjutant, but it did look really cool, lest we forget. While we’re at it, let’s relive that magical moment:

lol. Also, as you can see, that thing definitely got Renji’s blood on it and not just a little. I’m sure Byakuya felt like he was doing this as a sign of ??respect?? but can you just imagine being Renji, lying on the ground, hoping that maybe at least you bought Ichigo a little time to save Rukia as your lifeblood soaks into the earth and then you feel something flutter over you and you’re like “what the fuck dude why is there a scarf on my head? why?”

I think maybe Byakuya doesn’t care about the scarf and possibly even hates it. The next time he wears it into a fight, he gets blood all over it again when he dramatically slices his own arm tendons-- in other words, he definitely could have done this in a way that did not result in ruining a second gazillion kan scarf.

Why does he even wear it to work??? I would just leave it at home!!! This is even funnier to me because Renji also insists on buying sunglasses that cost half a year’s salary, wearing them to fights, and breaking them immediately. Who let these two men run a squad??? It’s no wonder they are besties professional colleagues with a particularly good rapport!!!

Byakuya actually stops wearing the scarf after this. For a while, I thought he might have given it to Rukia in the TYBW (I bet the clan would love that!), but that theory did not hold up to rigorous analysis.

Anyway, I *adore* the idea that Byakuya wears knock-off scarves to work, but I do not think he could bring himself to do so, I think he just keeps buying them.