#like…. you are asking for trouble

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[starry-bi-sky]

no thoughts head empty de-aged blood blossom danny

if ONLY because i was at work yesterday out in the play yard and one of the babies from the one year old room walked up to me, held up her arms and went "up. up" and i caved like a wet fucken nOODLE and im inflicting that onto Bruce

so im just picturing like, roughly 18mo Danny, just absolutely teeny, walking up to Bruce in the Batman suit, grabbing his cape and pulling on it to get his attention or plastering himself to the side of his legs (<- real experience i've had) and when Bruce looks down at him Danny just goes "Bah-man, bah-man. Up."

and im teLLING YOU. Bruce would cave in a fucking heartbeat.

or if he crouches down, Danny will just crawl onto him anyways. wraps both arms around his neck and tries to raise his leg over his knee so he can wrap himself around his waist (<- ALSO A REAL EXPERIENCE I'VE HAD)

also he can't fully articulate himself yet, he doesn't have all of his teeth quite yet and phonetics are harD, so he can't say Bruce it just sounds like "boo" or "booce" like 'boost' but without the 't'.

[mirellapryce]

I present to you a stupid thought. For all of episode 1 we have been both shown and told that Edwin is NOT the people person in the Agency. However right away in episode 2 when they're summoned by The Cat King, Edwin steps forward and insists he do the speaking in order to handle this diplomatically. It feels strange because while Charles might not be subtle as Edwin says about Shelby later, he is better at talking to people and working with them generally.

My stupid headcanon is that Edwin heard the word "King" and knew his anti-monarchy bestie would be his absolute WORST SELF so he stepped in before Charles could get himself in trouble.

[choccy-milky]

finally drew clora and seb's kids!!🙌🙌

Celeste Sallow: OK THIS IS THE NAME IM SUPER PROUD OF BAHAHA because not only does the name celeste relate to the stars (in typical ravenclaw fashion...clora picked the name) but celeste sallow is also an alliteration. BUT, its an alliteration that begins with a C, which means clora gets to match with celeste in the form of both of their names starting with a C, whereas sebastian gets to match with celeste because both of their names are an alliteration/they're alliteration allies🥹ITS THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!🥳

Lewis Sallow: as for lewis, if you've read my fic then you know that seb has a vendetta against names that start with an L bahaha, but 'lewis' was actually HIS idea. when celeste was born, seb wanted to find a muggle story to read to her, since clora's favourite story is ALSO a muggle one (sherlock), and he wanted to stick with tradition. so he ended up finding alice in wonderland, which he loved because of how adventurous and clever alice was and of how much she reminded him of clora and celeste (both personality and looks wise). it became his favourite for those reasons, to the point that when they had lewis, sebastian overcame his L-name hatred by naming their son after lewis carroll.

Houses: celeste could have been sorted into either gryffindor or slytherin, but ultimately ends up in slytherin because she wants to be like seb. kinda like how clora also probably could have been in gryffindor, tbh. as for lewis.....him being 10000% in ravenclaw doesnt need any explanation BAHA, just look at him.

Appearance: since clora has a tiny bit of veela blood in her, thats obvs passed down to their kids, too, and so they mostly take after her as a result of it. but there's still little bits of seb that shine through in each of the kids: for lewis its his brown curly hair, and for celeste its her complexion/freckles. and the fact that celeste looks so similar to clora only doubles up sebastian's stress/protective instincts when he watches her BAHAH. he's ofc still proud that she takes after him so closely, but seb also cant deny that he wishes it had been their SON that had taken after him instead, to keep her out of danger.

Celeste & Lewis: for celeste and lewis’ relationship, celeste is a super proud big sister, and treats lewis kinda like how seb treats clora. if there's anything that needs to be done, she offers to do it for him. and although she doesn’t have the patience to read stories herself, she loves playing outside and having lewis read to her in the background, and loves to act out/use his stories to fuel her imagination. and lewis makes sure to pick stories that he KNOWS she’ll like (which mostly involve heroic and daring feats of adventurers or pirates. he's tried to read more classic fairytales and romances to her a few times, but celeste always gets bored). she loves to draw though, so sometimes when lewis reads books that have no pictures, she'll draw them herself.

Celeste & Seb/Clora: celeste is a daddy's girl LOL and always tries to impress seb with the stuff she does, especially after hearing how HE was at her age, and so its half to impress and half because shes competitive that she wants to do the same/be just as good. and seb always gets a kick out of hearing her feats in the crossed wands club, or in defense against the dark arts class, and he also goads her on, telling her she'll have to do better than that if she wants to be as good as HE was. and whenever celeste gets detention, clora always stresses and asks why, whereas seb just tries to keep the smirk off his face. as for celeste and clora, clora also reads to celeste, and bakes and cooks with her, which is something celeste actually likes doing. not only because it keeps her busy and she likes to help and get messy in general, but also because she likes the fact that it results in good food afterwards LOL, and constantly asks when things can be taken out of the oven. also, for as tomboy-y as celeste is, she honestly doesn't mind/likes the clothing that clora puts her in and likes when clora dresses her up, bc it makes her look like one of the princesses from the storybooks, and it just amuses her more than anything else. once she enters hogwarts, though, its mostly trousers. but she still DOES like the occasional girly clothing.

Lewis & Seb/Clora: lewis is a momma's boy LOL and unlike celeste, doesnt care about duelling or of proving himself or anything like that, and is only concerned with stories and his future studies. so ofc clora had to show him sherlock, which he naturally loved. it even inspired lewis to want to write his own stories, so that he could challenge his own skill and see if he could, but also because he wants his mom to read them, and likes the idea of writing his own sherlock-esque story with equations and mysteries to be solved that he can offer her. lewis also wants to write a book for celeste as well, bc although he wont admit it, he basically wants to write a story tailor-made for her and her interests. one that he thinks will have everything she’d love in it. and part of it is genuinely because he WANTS to do it for her, but the other part of it is also for his ego, and to see if he CAN write a compelling story, and write something that would actually get THE hyperactive celeste to sit down and read it in its entirety (not to mention of her own volition). as for with seb, lewis looks up to him more than anyone else, due to how well-rounded he is and how hes so good at practical stuff AND studying, and he kinda sees seb as a main character/protagonist from one of his books, and uses sebastian as inspiration for his own stories. if hes stuck on what he thinks the dashing main character should do next, he'll ask his dad what HE would do, which results in seb getting very weird questions that he nonetheless is always happy to answer. also, when lewis is older and finally learns the full story of what happened with clora and seb and ranrok and rookwood, he writes their story in novel form, except he just changes their names/some of the details, and it becomes a best seller LOL. and i didnt know where to put this, but the four of them all read a story before bed every night, with lewis in the middle and seb and clora on either side of him. though celeste stands at the foot of the bed, basically doing a charade/mime show of what theyre reading, and putting on a little play to go along with it BAHHA.

OK thats all i can think of for now ive yapped enough😩 if youve read all of this ur a real one.... ive also considered giving them a 3rd (and last) child, which would be a boy that looks exactly like seb, and seb would just be praying like please.....let this son take after me🧎‍♂️🙏 BAHHA

[morganbritton132]

I was thinking about how kids don’t have filters and will just be out telling everybody your business but specifically about 9 year old Dick Grayson telling Superman literally everything about Batman except his name.

[tennessoui]

14 for obikin pretty please?

here you go!

[from this list of prompts]

[5. 'are you jealous' - 27. 'i'm pregnant' - 32. 'i think i'm in love with you and i'm terrified' (LATEST) 44. 'if you die, i'm gonna kill you' - 41. 'you did all of this for me?' - 46. 'hey, have you seen...? oh']

14. 'hey, i'm with you, okay? always.'

The first time Anakin visits, he's so angry that he cannot speak for the first two hours. Obi-Wan sits against the wall of his cell, on the floor even though the Jedi have provided him a perfectly comfortable bed and chair. The Force collar around his neck looks wrong. His master sitting on the floor, dressed in the dull orange of a prisoner's jumpsuit looks wrong.

Anakin is so angry that he can't speak. He can only look and tremble until he is told he must leave.

Obi-Wan does not speak either. He does not even look at him.

Maybe that's what makes his anger harder to bear. Anakin knows that Obi-Wan has met with countless other Jedi. Visitors, friends, allies, people who are working with him on his defense case. He knows that the other man talks to them, has sliced into security holo footage to see it for himself, though no one will tell him what is said. Everyone always leaves looking frustrated, but at least Obi-Wan talks to them.

But not Anakin. Even though it is Anakin that Obi-Wan has hurt the most. Anakin, who deserves to know why from Obi-Wan's mouth.

After all--

"He was like a father to me," Anakin spits at him on his second visit, only a few days later. Going to see Obi-Wan in the Coruscanti prison cell where he is awaiting trial is like an itch. Scratched once, Anakin finds he cannot help himself from digging his claws in.

Obi-Wan is still against the wall. His beard has grown slightly longer. His head is tilted back against the wall, though when Anakin speaks, his eyes slide down from the ceiling to rest on him.

"I'm starting to think you say that to all the boys," his former master who is a murderer says in that lilting familiar drawl.

"You killed him."

"Yes," Obi-Wan agrees, because apparently part of his defense case is not to plead not guilty to the murder of the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic. Anakin would say that may be problematic, but then--there are security holos, soundless and slightly blurred, of the event. Of Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi taking tea with Chancellor Palpatine. Talking in civil gestures for thirty minutes. Requesting, as far as anyone can tell, for the Chancellor to fetch him a pot of sugar. Lighting his saber and beheading him the moment the old man's back was turned. "Yes, I did."

"Why?" Anakin yells, voice cracking on the word. He doesn't understand. He thinks the not-knowing will drive him to madness. He thinks maybe it already has. It has been two weeks since the Chancellor's murder. Half the Senate is seeking Obi-Wan's execution.

The war, theoretically, has paused, like even the Separatists are holding their breath. Waiting. Wondering.

Obi-Wan looks at him quietly for a moment. For five. His face is stoic, resolved. Beloved, even after this.

Then--for a singular second--the mask cracks, and his master stares at him as if he needs to see him in order to survive. He looks hungry and exhausted and relieved, down to the bones.

"How have your nightmares been lately, padawan?" he asks him, and Anakin is so disgusted by the word--by the title that Obi-Wan doesn't get to say after killing the Chancellor, killing Anakin's friend--that he turns and leaves without another thought.

He is back a day later. He has never known how to keep his distance from things that can hurt him, that's what his mother always said. Too curious by half. Too sure of his own invincibility. That's what his master always said.

Anakin isn't sure of anything anymore.

"Why did you kill him?" Anakin asks. Obi-Wan's beard is longer. He is still on the floor. It rankles, the sight of him brought so low. "Did someone tell you to?"

Obi-Wan lets his head fall forward, a puppet with its strings cut. "Do you think me so biddable, Anakin?"

Anakin today. Not padawan. As if Obi-Wan has learned his lesson. As if he is as desperate for Anakin to linger in his presence as Anakin is hopelessly addicted to returning.

Padmé had tried to stop him this morning. Had tried to tell him it would do no good to see him, that the justice system would do its work, that Anakin was only hurting himself by returning over and over again. She pointed out that he had nightmares last night, for the first time since the news of the Chancellor's death reached them.

He hadn't had the heart to tell her that his nightmares were not about the Chancellor dying, but about Obi-Wan facing down an execution squad. About Anakin, standing on the deck of the Invisible Hand, Palpatine's voice in his ear, telling him to do it, do it. Cut off the traitor's head, only to look down and find that the two sabers he is holding are familiar to him, and person on his knees before him is his master.

Anakin had woken with a yell around one in the morning, sweat soaked and shaking. He hadn't been able to sleep again.

Maybe that's why he feels so alive now, slightly manic and still trembling as he paces in front of the Force barrier of Obi-Wan's cell. Did someone tell Obi-Wan to cut him down? he'd had the thought somewhere around five in the morning. Had it been someone Obi-Wan trusted? Someone he loved?

Who stood to gain from the death of the Chancellor? Who had the Chancellor ever hurt or threatened?

Anakin walks as close as he dares to get to the cell. "Master," he says, coaxes really, pushing forward until he can hear the hum of the force field.

Obi-Wan's head thumps back against the wall and he watches him from under his eyelashes.

"Master, I'm with you, alright? Hey, I'm with you, always, alright, always, so if someone told you, manipulated you, just tell me please. I'll find them. I'll get them to turn themselves in, master. Just tell me. Why did you kill him?"

Obi-Wan closes his eyes. He looks for all the world as if he is meditating, save for that collar around his neck. The prison garb. He doesn't look like a murderer, but he is. He is. He killed the Chancellor. He is going to face execution. Anakin is going to have to watch him die too and all he can think is that he knows that Obi-Wan doesn't even kriffing like sugar in his karking tea.

"Answer me!" Anakin yells, lifting his fist and forgetting himself for just long enough that he slams it against the barrier. He pulls it back with a curse as the force field short-circuits his mech arm and the prison alarm blares out a warning siren.

This time, he is led away from the cell by a Coruscanti guard. He is advised to not return for a standard week. The entire time he is exiled from the prison, the only thing he can think about is the expression on Obi-Wan's face as he watches him leave: eyes wide open and forehead wrinkled with concern, as if worried that Anakin had hurt himself.

The day after he is allowed to return, he does. He does not want to seem too eager or desperate, so he waits until it's early in the evening before pointing his speeder towards the prison unit.

"It had to have been someone you loved," Anakin announces as he stops in front of Obi-Wan's cell. He's in his bed this time, lying on his back and looking at the ceiling. He does not twitch at Anakin's voice, though Anakin can tell that he's not asleep, though his eyes are closed. He can tell just from the minute lines of tension he's holding in his shoulders, his neck.

How can Anakin know him so well and not know that he is capable of this? Of murder on this scale?

"Hm?" Obi-Wan finally says, when the silence drags on and it becomes clear that Anakin will not say more until he has engaged. Anakin watches this war play out in the subtle movements of Obi-Wan's facial muscles as well. He knows him so well. He knows him better than he knows anyone else in the galaxy.

"The person you killed him for. You had to have loved him more than anything else in the entire galaxy to kill a man the way you did. Defenseless. Over sugar. You don't--you don't even take sugar in your tea! It was a coward's way of killing--and it doesn't--you would never. Not unless it was for someone you loved."

Obi-Wan's eyes blink open, but he doesn't look away from the ceiling. He doesn't look at Anakin.

"I don't--I don't know what harm you think Sheev Palpatine could cause to anyone, but that has to be it. Nothing else makes sense. You loved someone enough to kill for them, and you killed the Chancellor."

The words come out easily. Anakin has practiced them for a week now; it is the only thing that makes sense. Nothing else makes sense. Nothing else but love could make a man like Obi-Wan do what he did. He must have loved someone a lot. He must love them more than the Republic. More than his own freedom.

The first time Anakin had told Padmé his theory, she'd looked at him for ages, until he'd grown angry and defensive. She'd touched his arm, as if that could hold back this hurricane brewing inside his chest, and said, "I don't know if you're right, Ani. I don't know if I think you're wrong either. It's just...you sound so...jealous."

At least Obi-Wan doesn't say the same thing. But what he does say may be even worse. Because he doesn't deny it. He doesn't protest. All he says is, "And who is it that you think I love more than anything else in the galaxy, padawan?"

Anakin has thought about this, too. "Bail Organa," he makes himself say, even though the name curls his lips up into a sneer. Bail Organa, the man who has been voted the interim Supreme Chancellor of the Republic. The man who has gotten everything from this assassination, while Anakin has had his everything taken away.

On his cot, Obi-Wan's eyes slide closed. His mouth quirks up. "Ah," he says, as if he has had something he has long expected to confirmed to him. He says nothing else.

It makes Anakin want to hit the barrier again. It makes him want to scream. It makes him want to be petty, hurt Obi-Wan back in the same way that Anakin feels hurt even though it doesn't make sense, none of this makes sense. But it feels as if Obi-Wan has kept half of himself secret from Anakin, a whole love, his entire capacity to love, and Anakin wants to prove that he has as well.

So he says, voice mean and sharp, "Padmé is pregnant. The med-droid says it is twins."

Everything else remains unspoken, but surely audible. That they are his. That he never stopped seeing Padmé. Perhaps even that she is his wife.

On the cot, behind the Force barrier, in his chains, Obi-Wan opens his eyes and blinks at the ceiling. His lips form a small smile, as he says, still not looking at Anakin, still not looking at Anakin, "I know, dear one. Why do you think the Chancellor had to die?"

[elodieunderglass]

(Killie the jockey OC and his coworkers)

(Killie is absurdly strong! but also - this is important, listen up, Rossa - the instructions are written on the cap)

(As a dual champion flat and jump jockey, Killie is capable of opening jars and also immune to the lure of the single grape)

[themadmorrigan]

You can't convince me in ACOTAR that there wasn't at least one painting of Tamlin without a mask around that manor that Feyre could find.

So many instances of, "I wonder what he looks like..." in that book. FEYRE. It's in the gallery. Or in a hallway. Or in a reception room. You just need to use your eyes, woman!

[ilikedetectives]

Bioware didn't give the Qunari tails because they know I'd be so freaky about it, doesn't stop me though

Art by @/spicynoon (bsky)

[witchofthesouls]

Sam ending up throught groundbringe fuckery in Tfp would be such a vacation for him i think. Less action, less aliens ripping each other to shreds every miniute, the difference between how bay formers and tfp formers look.. Sam would look at tfp cons deadpan not afraid at all

Meanwhile the kids in Bayverse would get treated like sparklings probably(wattch Miko growl once at a con and promptly get adopted) Raf especially. Jack would take one look at everything and just go to work in NEST cafeteria until others can figure a way back home for him, Miko and Raf because he's NOT getting involved in this housefire(would avoid bay!Op like a plague something something honorary prime nonsense)

Sam is right there, chilling and spazzing on the minor things (to everyone else in TFP), while completely blasé to the major world-changing/world-ending things. He's been in more than one "end of human civilization" scenarios. It's not his first rodeo, and he's not even counting the doomsday panic of 2000 and 2012. He's immune to crazy, otherworldly shit via alien technology. If anything, he's weirdly disappointed over the lack of alienness of their Artifacts.

He literally resurrected his version of Optimus, met the Dynasty of Primes, had the Allspark in his mind, and dealt with the Fallen that manipulated gravity fields.

Sam's treating it like an unwanted vacation to a place that lied upon the brochure. That guy is like a powerful magnet for destroying Decepticon plans. He would probably fall into a chasm of a hidden Energon mine or interrupt an Artifact expedition to his advantage because 1) Allspark guided him, or 2) he was getting to antsy in the base of nothingness (no human personnel, no cafeteria, no agents, no systems or tasks for him) and did a runner.

He definitely puts his foot in his mouth when he meets Arcee. Sam would never get used to their more human-like frames.

Sam's boogeyman would be M.E.C.H.

Meanwhile, the Jasper Trio is stuck on Diego Garcia. They're taken back by the immense operation that's N.E.S.T. and feeling really lost. Miko doesn't have a Bulkhead-equivalent, Jack doesn't know what to make of the triplets, and Raf isn't clicking this Bumblebee.

Because everyone is too busy, they're trying to slot into things without getting too underfoot. Jack already has certifications related to his fast food job, so he gets into the mess hall to prepare meals for hundreds. Raf and Miko get into the science portions. Raf is making a name for himself as he has the most success bridging tech and understanding the Cybertronian script. Miko likes explosions.

The kids are boggled by all the politicking that goes into it and the more intensely magical things with the Allspark.

Those three will never, ever not laugh at Dorito-Starscream.

(Both sides have the not-so-fun realization about the malfunction connected to Unicron in the middle of Earth. That's too farfetched for anyone, but the truth literally grabbed the respective Primes with giant elemantal fists to viciously shake them.)

[gideonisms]

"don't walk alone at night as a woman" "don't live alone as a woman" "don't try to buy a car by yourself as a woman" damn it's almost like people just don't want women to do things

[chachacharlieco]

Mutant Pen Stuff

[pepperpepi]

I have memory issues espec converning asks sorry if I've asked this before but how would Woodsy react if he met BFDI Woody

guys the similarities were. COMPLETELY. BY ACCIDENT. i saw petrified wood and was like "haha scared of everything would be a fun gimmick" AND THEN woodsy wasn't even supposed to be his name it was a placeholder and i got attached

genuinely forgot about woody's existence until like a month or two after making woodsy bro

[ot3]

The average tumblr user operate on the following series of assumptions:

Anyone posting on their blog about a problem they're having is looking for advice from internet strangers

You don't need any further context about op's circumstances in order to give this advice

Op has never tried anything to solve this problem at any point in their lives so you should start with the absolute basics

This is the primary reason why my askbox is only open for a maximum of several hours a month.

[thebirdandhersong]

I don't know if I've told y'all yet (and if I haven't, I've probably Strongly Hinted) but I will be going into education, because that seems to be where God is pointing me towards. Very, very strongly. Specifically English lit. Specifically high school. It turns out that if you pray to the Lord very sheepishly: "Sir, I know this is rather Gideonish of me, but if you want me to do this, please make it so loud and clear that I can't ignore it at all", you oughta be prepared for the Lord to answer in the way He so desires to, in whatever capacity or degree He sees fit. I had my mother, my father, my sister, my family friend, two school friends, an administrator, and two staff members at my workplace come and tell me I should teach in the span of about a week and a half. Some because the topic came up, some without any prompting whatsoever. The chance I had to teach was like nothing else I've experienced -- not a blinding flash of realization, necessarily, but it was good and hard and joyful, and surprisingly so life-giving. And many other things.

[shanklin]

the shellfish au is so angsty it's delicious!!

ugh i'm imagining a crossover where a healthy, well-adjusted set of relativity stan twins accidentally get themselves portaled into shellfish's world and both go ???????? what's wrong with you guys????? why's your stan like that???????? why's he calling grunkle dipper "great uncle mason"??

&& the impromptu visit just highlights how happy stan *could* be and really highlights how much the shellfish one... is not

cue both sets of guardians staring wide-eyed at each other in vague horror

Selfish Shellfish AU - Masterpost

You’re speaking my language, but I don’t know where to start. SO MANY OPTIONS! :’)

Do we put the 12-ish OG!relativity falls kids with the 14~17ish Shellfishies? So there can be a misunderstanding that this is them in the future?

Or are they the same age so the contrast between the Stans is absolutely glaring?

But even then will we put them together before Shellfish!Stan & Ford make up or after?

Before, but Stan is still on the run?

OG!Stan and Ford will be going around trying to uncover what happened with Stan and no one will tell them anything. They come to the conclusion that Stan must’ve died with the way everyone in this universe keeps looking at them.

But it’s the worst for Shellfish!Ford who is confronted with everything he could’ve had, if he had been a better brother. A better person. Someone who didn’t just abandon the people closest to him the moment he found something more interesting to waste his time on.

Ford is used to hating himself. He always did. Every time he looked at his hands or let Stan protect him like a coward, he hated himself.

But now, looking at who he could’ve been, his past issues all seemed so petty and inconsequential. 

As it turns out Ford never knew what true self hatred felt like until they, Grunkle Dipper, Other Ford and himself, were buried nose deep into their research and Other Stan came and dragged Other Ford away from them.

Other Ford protested loudly, but Other Stan simply laughed and shouted over his shoulder: “See you later, Nerds!”

The two of them came back an hour later, giggling and triumphant, with a solution to their dimension replacement problem. Together they managed in a mere hour what three geniuses couldn’t do in two weeks and had fun doing it.

Ford truly hates himself now. 

And there is no one to blame but himself. 

Then he finds out that Other Ford also had the option to stay in Gravity Falls but didn’t take it because that would mean he wouldn’t get to grow up with Stan and nothing could be worth that loss.

It’s mentioned offhandedly and in passing. 

Ford excuses himself quietly, locks himself inside his room closet and starts to bawl.

He loses track of time but then there is light and his brother is there and Ford stops thinking. He lets himself be embraced and apologizes until he passes out.

Well anyways the OG Stans eventually figure out what really happened, decide they can’t have that and drag Ford with them to find the little lost Shellfish. :)

Before they make up, but Stan is living with them in Gravity Falls?

We can start that one with OG!Stan glaring at Shellfish!Stan and be like: “What the fuck is his deal? Why is he so rude? How dare he make Ford sad!”

Turns out they make it worse before they figure poor Shellfish!Stan out. But after they do, they plan to kidnap this Stan back to their home dimension :D

After the Selfish!Stans make up?

It seems fine. Everything seems fine even if Stan and Grunkle Dipper and Grauntie Mabel seem to be mad at each other?

"Hey so what’s that all about anyways?"

Ford goes into overprotective brother mode, pulls them aside and threatens OG!Ford with violence if Stan ever dares to ask the wrong questions again.

“Ehm shouldn’t I be the one that gets threatened?”

“NO! I love you and you didn’t do anything wrong ever. SO SHUT UP. ALSO I LOVE YOU. NEVER FORGET THAT.”

“…o-kay”

“Pssh Ford, we really need to get out of this dimension fast. They’re acting worse than Grunkle Dipper on five bottles of Mabel Juice and no sleep.“

“Agreed.”

They eventually see how Shellfish!Stan acts around the adults and all his scars and it all paints a horrifying picture.

[But also them trying to do small talk:

“So, how’s Pa?”

“He’s dead.”

“Oh no, I’m so sorry.”

“Not as sorry as I was when I killed him.”

Stan laughs.

OG!Stans force an uncomfortable chuckle. Ha ha. Nice joke…

They feel a cold shiver from behind and slowly turn around. Shellfish!Ford is standing there, the glare on his glasses hiding his eyes. For some reason there is a sledge hammer in his hand.]

Or how about Stan on the run but suddenly there's OG Ford or both OG!Stans??

How about they arrive in New Jersey before Filbrick dies?

Or in Gravity Falls and they’re like “What are you doing? Get your Stan back. NOW!”

[I might also need the Shellfish!Stans to pop up in canon or after canon on the Stan-o-War now. Maybe while Shellfish!Stan was still on the run hmmm]