#like. PLEASE don't get put off by how weird the first few chapters are. I was too. but it's worth it I promise

[vulturevanity]

Read Not So Shoujo Love Story on Webtoon if you want an ass kicking

[samandcolbyownme]

TRIGGER WARNING: This one shot will contain mentions of a knife. If you are at all uncomfortable with that type of thing - PLEASE SKIP THIS CHAPTER!

Summary: Anon request - "Jake smut with knife kink????"

Warnings: SMUT18+, KNIFE PLAY!, strong language, teasing, hair pulling, scratching, biting, dirty pet names, unprotected sex, begging, praising, use of a knife during sex, maybe some breeding kink, filth.

Word count: 3.9k | not edited

I will going off the 'trying every fast food fried chicken sandwich' video on Johnnie's channel, but I will be adding some stuff to make you fit into the story - but I did shorten it a lot to not make it as long. Enjoy !

You sat in the chair behind the camera as Jake and Johnnie prepared to start recording. You and Jake had plans to hang out, but he totally forgot he already had a date with Johnnie to rate chicken on a scale of one through five.

"Have you ever wanted a chicken sandwich-"Jake cuts Johnnie off, "yeah." Johnnie continues, "well now you can-"

Jake stares into the cameras trying not to laugh, "yes."

"Well today -"

Jake interrupts him again, " yep."

Johnnie says nothing else as he leans over and grabs, what looks to be the handle of a knife. You and Jake both stare at him as he struggles to open it. You watch as Jake closes his mouth and reaches over to take it from Johnnie's grasp.

In one swift flick, the silver blade pops through, revealing its sharpness. Johnnie raises his hands, "Okay. Okay. Take it easy."

You felt relieved that Jake was staring at Johnie while holding it because that gave you time to get your cheeks back to a normal color. That was one of the hottest things you've seen Jake do, even if it was just as simple as him opening that knife.

It still got your mind going and blood pumping a mile a minute.

Jake glances at you as he sets the open knife on the table and you smile at him, sitting up as he looks away because a nasty and dangerous, yet super sexy thought, sneaks its way into your mind.

You don't even know how Jake would react to what you just thought of, but you knew that you weren't going to stop thinking about it until you got an answer from him.

You pull yourself from your thoughts and wind up listening to a very strange, yet normal Jake and Johnnie, comment, "..and and we're gonna be putting lots of meat in our mouth and we're-"

Your weird look turns into quiet laughter behind your hand as you watch Jake's face change quickly into a caught off guard confused stare.

He blinks a few times and looks at you and just shakes his head as Johnnie continues to ramble on. Then, the conversation turns into dissecting frogs before Johnnie says something about his merch.

"I'm proud to be an Americas favorite lady.." Johnnie sings and you just stare, thinking about why you agreed to sit in on this when you knew it was going to be hard to be quiet.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

"Alright, the first one we're trying is- mm-blah- uh- fuck." Johnnie looks down and Jake points to him, "Ha. You stuttered this time. Ha, ha."

You watch as Jonnie stares at the table for a few seconds in silence before he reaches for the knife again, and your eyes instantly move to Jake.

Jake watches as Johnnie struggles again and you pull your bottom lip between your teeth as Jake reaches over, waiting to watch his thumb slide up to open it once again.

"It's got a child lock on it." Jonnie says right before Jake takes it from him, popping the blade out of the top.

You don't know why, but you are so turned on by Jake opening the knife. You thought the first time was bad, but the more he does it, the more you feel like you can't breathe.

Jake closes the knife and hands it back to Johnnie, watching as he finally figures out how to open it. Jake raises his hand as he laughs, "Okay, okay. Now I'm scared."

Jake glances over at you and back to Johnnie, "Now I'm scared."

"Who stuttered what?" Johnnie asks in a funny voice and you can't help but laugh.

"Let me see that." Jake says and your eyes snap back to his hand that's reaching out for it, "Let me see that."

"Wait wait wait." Johnnie says and Jake drops his hand, "Come on. It's not a toy."

"Well it's real, it's dangerous, and illegal." Johnnie says and that just fuels the fire.

You watch as Jake takes the knife, laughing as he sets it down. You look up, eyes meeting his as he sets it down and you tilt your head with a smile.

He squints his eyes, picking up that there's something going on with you and you cross your leg over the other as you lean back against the wall.

He smirks slightly before going back to doing the video.

Every time Jake laughs, you smile because it's like you fall in love with him all over again, even the weird comments, you can't help but love him more.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

You have your head resting on the wall, watching Jake do his reviews when all of a sudden your eyes go wide and your hand slaps over your mouth.

Jake looks at you, tilting his head before looking over his shoulder.

"Hello!" Johnnie, or as you call it, his alter ego, Timmy yells. Jake's eyes go wide and he snaps his head back to you, "Oh.. my god."

Jake covers his mouth as Johnnie walks up, grabbing the sandwich, "Chicken sandwiiiiich." He screams as he clings to it for dear life.

Jake's hand is still over his mouth, "Oh my god. No way."

Johnnie continues to scream before taking an obnoxiously loud bite. Your hand slowly moves off of your mouth as you try to contain in the laughter.

You were super turned on, ready for this video to be done, but now thanks to Timmy, you were no longer focused on Jake dragging a knife across your neck.

"Holy shit." Jake lays a hand on his chest and drags it down to drop it into his lap as Johnnie slowly walks up to him, "If I just sit still, he won't know I'm here."

Your eyes flick back and forth from him to Johnnie, "oh my god. This isn't real." You whisper into your hand, "Holy fuck."

It's quiet, all but the sound of Johnnie eating as he walks up to Jake. Jake's eyes are on you, fighting to not look at Johnnie.

Johnnie leans down, "Want eat?"

Jake laughs, "No." he turns his head to look at Johnnie, "Get back." Johnnie moves back and yells something that's muffled by the food in his mouth before touchdown slamming the sandwich onto the floor.

Jake's mouth drops as he leans over, looking at you for help. You shrug, "I don't know what you want me to do. We just have to.. wait it out."

Johnnie leaves the room and you sit there staring at Jake, "What the fuck was that?" You watch as his fingers drag on the table against the knife and he looks up at you, "I'm going to stab him."

You laugh slightly, "Oh my g- Jake. No you're not going to stab him. He can't help it." You hold back your laughter as Johnnie walks back into the room.

And that feeling you had before returns, all it took was for him to touch the knife.

"Anyways." Johnnie says walking back into the room, like nothing even happened.

Which makes it a lot funnier.

You lean back against the wall, falling back into your thoughts after Johnnie's little Timmy outburst.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

Johnnie picks up a hammer, holding it up and Jake quickly picks up the knife, giving you a quick glance. 

You bite down on your lip, watching as he brings it up and opens it with no trouble.

You wanted him. And you wanted him to play with it, press it up against your neck.

Drag it down your body.

You wanted him to tease you with it.

Do whatever he wanted to you with it.

You never thought you'd bring a knife into sexual pleasure, but hey. Things can change, right?

A short time later, they wrap up the video and Jake stands up, "I hope you know you're cleaning this up yourself."

"What? Why?" Johnnie groans with a laugh, "No, don't answer that. I had an outburst didn't I?" He hangs his head and sighs loudly.

"I swear to god you're schizophrenic." Jake shakes his head and turns to face you, "Ready to hang out?" You nod, "Yeah, but first.." you lean around him and grab the knife off the table, "Close this for me."

He gives you a confused look but complies, taking the knife from your hand, closing it with ease, "Can I as-"

You cut him off, "Not here."

He tilts his head, "You're being weird."

You roll your eyes, "If anyone's weird here it's-"

Johnnie lets out a random scream and Jake spins you around, "Let's get out of here before he sees us." He pushes you forward and you walk out laughing.

Jake lays his arm over your shoulder, "So are you going to tell me what's brewin' in that noggin of yours.. or do I have to guess?"

You bite your lip, resting your head back onto his arm, "I mean, you can guess."

"Does it involve sexy time?" He wiggles his brows and you laugh, "that's not a guess, but yes, babe."

He pushes open his door and walks you in, turning around to close it.

"Okay. I'm just.." you sigh, looking up at him, "I'm just going to say it because it's a pretty.. wild request."

He holds up the closed knife in his hand, "It doesn't have anything to do with this.." he dangles the knife in his fingers, "..does it?"

You bite your lip, locking your hands together behind your back, "I told you it was a wild request."

He purses his lips together, eyes moving to the object in his hand, "You.." he laughs slightly, looking back to you, "You want me.." he points to the knife, "To do.. what exactly?"

"I'm not asking you to stab me, Jake. Just.." you walk up and take the knife from his hand. You try to get it open, "there really is a child lock on this isn't there."

Jake smirks and takes the knife from your hand, holding it up between your bodies and he flicks it open.

Your eyebrows raise and you bite your lip, "Uh huh." You nod, "You are so hot when you do that."

He smirks, looking away and back to you with a smile, "Oh shucks." He raises his shoulders and tilts his head all cute.

You move closer to him, wrapping your hand around his wrist, "I just.." your eyes move from the knife in his hand, up to his eyes, "I want you to, I don't know, intimidate me with it.. tease me with it."

"Isn't.. this a little bit dangerous?" He stares down at you and you shrug with a slight smile, "I mean, yes it's dangerous." You grab his shirt and move closer to him, "But that's what makes it fun right?"

A smirk toys with his lips as he brushes hair from your face, "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't. I trust you." You tilt your head back, "We don't have to if-"

The sudden gentle graze of the blade across your cheek shuts you up instantly.

Jake's eyes bounce from your eyes to the knife resting on your cheek, "You know.. you have such an angel face." He bites his bottom lip, "But these thoughts you have, baby.. they're the devils thoughts."

He bends down, quickly lifting you up. Your legs circle his waist and you look down at him, "Only for you, baby."

He smirks, "I sure hope so."

He walks you over to his bed, moving his hand with the knife before letting you fall backwards onto the bed, "What do you want me to do?"

You lean up onto your elbows, "You're holding the knife, babe. You're in control."

"Oh shit. Okay." He laughs slightly and twirls it in his fingers, "if I see blood." He points the blade towards you, "I'm stopping."

"Deal." You smile and lay back, watching as he moves in between your knees after taking off his shirt. He drops his hand, dragging the point of the blade gently down your fishnet covered thigh.

He reaches up to undo your jean shorts, slowly pulling them down your legs until they're off and dropped to the floor.

You watch as he picks up the knife, slipping the sharp side of the blade against each thin piece of fishnet, cutting all the way up to your hip.

He moves to the other side, "I hope you didn't like these."

"I have more." You glance up at him, biting your lip as you feel the loose fabric sliding off your legs. He moves up, leaning down to press his lips against yours.

"How do you-" you reach over, pulling his hand with the knife over, "Just.. like. This." You lay the blade against your neck, "Just enough pressure for me to feel it."

"You're fucking crazy." He smirks and you tilt your head back, "You love it."

"I love you." He pulls the knife away, crashing his lips into yours. Your lips move in sync as his hand slips under your shirt, a small moan slipping from your lips as his fingers twist and pull at your nipple.

"Please don't tease." You whimper out.

He sits up and pushes your shirt up. He reaches over picking up the knife and dragging it down your torso, "I thought that's what you wanted?"

You fight back a smirk, knowing he's right, "Mhm."

He smirks, slipping it into the thick band of the fishnets, "Thought so."

With a swift swipe up, the band splits. He finishes cutting the fishnets and pushes the loose pieces away.

He spreads your legs more and you bite your lip as you feel the blade rest against your clothed pussy. Your eyes lock onto his and he drags it down, "Jake.."

Your words are barely audible, "P-please."

Your adrenaline was pumping. Any second that blade could puncture your skin, but the amount of trust you have for Jake, especially when it comes to you, make it even better.

"Please what, baby?" He drags the knife gently down the inside of your thigh, "Where do you want it?"

"Anywhere.." You breathe out, "I just.." you whimper as he presses the flat side against your clit, tapping a few times. He tilts his head, continuing to tap, "You just what, baby?"

"I need you." You move your hips slightly, "Please."

He leans down, kissing up your torso, "Fine." He rolls over, sitting his back against the headboard, "But you're ridin'."

You sit up, slipping your shirt up over your head, "okay." You smirk at him, kicking off the torn fishnets before moving up to straddle him.

He reaches behind you, making sure to gently drag the blade down your spine. You arch your back slowly, pushing your chest out and he kisses in between your boobs.

"You are so fucking hot." His other hand moves to grip your ass, squeezing before sliding it around to pull the band of your panties outward.

He drags the knife over your hip before slicing the band of your panties. You watch as he moves to the other side, cutting it and letting it fall between your legs.

He looks your body up and down and slides his hand up your back, gripping the back of your neck before pulling you in for a kiss.

Your hands move to the sides of his neck as you grind down on him, earning a low groan.

Your hands slide down, undoing his jeans before moving off of him so he can kick them off. He moves his boxers down and pulls you back over, "I hope you know, I love watching you ride me."

He spits into his hand, moving it down to rub the outside of your pussy. You moan, gripping his shoulders as his fingers move to rub circles on your clit, "Fuck."

He moves his hand to hold his cock steady, "go ahead babe."

You let out a loud moan, clenching around him as you sink down onto him. Your moan is cut short by a gasp from the knife against your neck.

"Why didn't I think of this?" Jake groans as you slowly move up and down, "This is fucking.." he groans, eyes gawking at the knife pressing against your skin, "Do you like it?"

You moan out, "Yes, yes."

"Tell me what you like, babe." Jake moves his hips upward and you sigh, "I love how you hold this knife against my skin."

"You look so fucking hot." He drags the knife down your neck and over your boob. He moves with your motions, pressing it a little harder into your skin.

You let out an excited whimper as you dig your nails into his shoulders, biting your lip as you roll your hips into his, "Jake.." you moan out, "You feel so good." 

He tilts his head back and you act quick, taking the knife from his hand and pressing it against his neck. His eyes widen slightly as his hands move to grip both of  your hips, "Fuck." He swallows, keeping his jaw up, "You're such a demon." 

You giggle slightly, a moan following quick as you sink all the way down, letting his cock rest inside of you, "You're so hot." You lean in, pressing your lips to his as you gently drag the knife down his skin. You replace the blade with your lips, sucks a mark into his skin which earns a low groan from his lips. 

He slides his hands up to the front of your shoulders, pushing you back as he leans forward. He pins your wrist down by your head before he starts thrusting into you, "Fucking shit." 

You arch your back, moaning loudly as your legs tighten over his thighs, "J-Jake." You gasp, "So c-close." 

He slips his hand up, taking the knife back into his possession. He leans down, holding up his weight on his forearm as he drags the knife down the side of your torso, "Cum for me." 

Your breathing shutters as the knife grazes over your skin. Your eyes roll back as you tilt your head back, whining loudly as he kisses down your neck, biting and nipping at your skin. He proceeded to give you a matching hicky, groaning lowly as he feels you tense around him. 

You let out a loud moan, digging your nails into his back as you cum. His thrusts slow down as he guides you through your high and then come to a stop, "Hands and knees baby." 

Jake pulls out, sitting all the way up to watch you lazily roll over. He lays a hand on your hip, biting his lip as his eyes gaze down to your soaked pussy on display, "You're so fucking wet." He brings the knife up, dragging it down over your ass and tapping it gently against your pussy. 

You gasp, trying not to move. Your fingers ball up the comforter underneath you, whimpering as you grow more impatient for him to be inside of you again.

"Please.. you whimper out, "Jake.." your words are breathless and Jake loves it. 

"Please what?" He moves the knife up, dragging it down over your other cheek. 

You sigh, "I need you." 

He rises up to lean down, pressing his lips against your shoulder, "I want to cum in you so bad. Fill you up completely." He groans at his own words, "Fuck, you would look so sexy pregnant." 

Jake has never said anything like that before. You guys were always careful, you didn't think he was thinking about anything like that. 

"W-what?" You ask, making sure you heard him correctly. 

"You heard me." He leans up, dragging the knife down your spine as he moves his hips to rub the tip of his cock against your pussy, "Would you like that?" 

You push your hips back, biting your lip as you try and think, but your mind is so scrambled right now, "I-I-" you gasp as he thrusts into you, knife pressing into your skin, "Yes." 

"Yes what, y/n?" Jake reaches up, gathering your loose hair into his hand, "want me to cum in that pretty pussy of yours?" 

You nod against the hold he has on your hair, letting out a whine when he pulls harder, "Fuck, yes. Yes. Yes!" 

Jake bites his lip harder as he starts thrusting, groaning as he watches you push your hips back to meet his thrusts.

He drops the knife, moving his now free hand to grip your ass, "That's it."

He lets go of your hair, moving it back to lay on your hip, fingertips digging hard into your skin, “Fuck, I’m so fucking close baby.”

You moan in response, moving your hips up and down repeatedly until he grabs them, pulling you fully down onto him as he pushes all the way in.

You squeeze his cock, moaning as you feel him coating the inside of your pussy white.

“Fuck.” He sighs, “That was surprisingly fun.”

You laugh as you lay down on his bed, “It was.” You look back at him, watching as he picks the knife up to close it.

“Open it, again.” You bite your lip as you watch him smirk, switching the blade open, “Wanna see me do it again?” He jokes, but you nod, “I could watch you do it all day.”

“Really?” He asks with a laugh, “What’s so hot about it?”

You sit up, “Just you.. and that knife.. it just.. gets me going.” He moves to stand in front of you, resting the blade under your chin, “You know I can’t let Johnnie touch this again, right?”

“I would hope not.” You smile and lick your lips, “That would be kinda weird now that it’s been on .. places.”

Jake laughs and closes the knife, “Yeah, that’s going to the dresser drawer with its new friends.” He walks over, opening the drawer that you store all of your other sex toys in.

You shake your head, “I’m stealing a shirt.”

“Yeah, take whatever you want babe.” Jake smiles at you as he shuts the drawer. As you go through his closet, there’s a knock on the door, “Jake, where’s your knife? I want to practice opening it. I can beat that fucking child lock.”

You and Jake lock eyes and it’s instant laughter.

Johnnie is silent for a few moments, “You didn’t have to laugh at me, holy shit.”

“Sorry Johnnie.. that knife is out of commission.” Jake yells as he tries not to laugh.

“Aw, did you break it? Stupid fuck.” Johnnie yells and Jake sighs, “You’re the stupid fuck, but yeah I guess I broke it.”

Jake looks at you, shaking his head as he smirks.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

I know this was long awaited, so I thank you for being patient and for reading. I hope you enjoyed 🖤

Likes and reblogs are appreciated!

[minustwofingers]

exoplanet p.3

pairing: ellie williams x fem! reader (ur a girly girl in this one!!) (she/her pronouns)

summary: you’ve won the life lottery as one of the few people on earth with parents who gained admittance to the most prestigous safezone in the world after the outbreak. but after a lab accident sends you out to jackson, wyoming, real life hits you fast. it’s a good thing that a hot lesbian finds u. (lol). mean ellie at first, slowburn, enemies to friends to lovers, fem reader asf

warnings: (PLEASE READ!) explicit language, violence, description of a medical procedure sans anesthesia, recreational drug use (idk how else to put it ellie gets absolutely zonked in the beginning), reader overthinks asf and is a little neurotic but that's why we love her x

a/n: hey guys! thank you so much for the wait! it's been genuinely insane how sweet and incredible all of you are. i've never felt so appreciated for my writing!! also, some notes: this chapter is heavily inspired by my last relationship. sorry if it's not as immersive bc of it! and also i don't have ANY medical knowledge so...cast a blind eye when u get to that scene

part 1

part 2

tags: @prettyplant0 @666findgod​ @sawaagyapong​ @rystarkov​ @buzzybuzzsposts @addisonnie @galacticstxrdust @parkersmyth @pinkazelma

wc: 6.6k

enjoy x

“One more time.”

You gave Ellie a withering look from where you were sitting at the end of her bed.

“Please,” she said, drawing out the s. “Just once more. I promise.” 

“Fine.” You rolled your eyes—a habit of hers that you were quickly picking up—and took in a deep breath. “Fuck.” 

Ellie lost it, peals of laughter bouncing off the walls. “Another one. Say something else.”

“I don’t understand why you think this is so funny,” you said.

“You say it so weird.”

“I enunciate,” you clarified. “I don’t ‘sound weird’. It’s called pronouncing every letter in the word and not having a lazy mouth.” 

“Please,” she gasped. “At least say bitch. You haven’t said that one yet.”

You looked her dead in the eye. “Bitch.”

If you weren’t already certain that Ellie was high out of her mind by the smell of her room and the general haze in the air, the way she howled with laughter and fell back on her bed would’ve made you entirely positive.

This was new. You’d begun to hang out with her in her room after dinner—that was normal—but when she’d knocked on your door smelling heavily of weed once you’d said goodnight to Joel, you were nothing less than shocked. Of course, she had none left for you. Which was probably good, because only a sober mind could navigate a night sitting on Ellie’s bed without doing something really, really stupid. 

“I can’t believe you call me weird,” you said, tucking your feet under her and giving her a pointed look. 

“You’re so lucky you didn’t grow up where I did,” Ellie said, wiping a tear away from her cheek as she tried (unsuccessfully) to rein in her giggles. “You would’ve been eaten alive, good lord.”

“What were you like as a kid?” you asked, resting your chin on your knees. 

She considered for a moment, growing more somber. “Um…I don’t know if you would’ve liked me very much.”

“What do you mean? Of course I would’ve liked you.” 

“No,” she said, swiping at her face so she pushed a strand of hair away. “I don’t think you would have.”

“Why not?”

“I was…” She paused, picking at her cuticles. “Back then I didn’t have anyone. I was an orphan, you know. My parents were never in the picture, so I was the only one I could count on.  I was really rough around the edges and could be nasty. But I probably would’ve ignored you like I did everyone else. “

“Everyone? You didn’t have anyone? No friends at all?”

Ellie blinked, and her gaze remained fixed on her hands. “Basically, yeah. I mean, there was one girl, but that’s…I don’t want to talk about that right now, actually.” 

“That’s okay,” you said, reaching forward to touch her knee. She flinched at the contact but didn’t brush you away. The image of a young, scared Ellie living somewhere alone made your chest ache. “You don’t have to tell me.” 

“What were you like?” she asked, tilting her head and meeting your eyes. 

“Hmmm…” Mirth crept into your tone. “What do you think?”

“What do I think?” Ellie echoed, her eyes cloudy as she thought. Then a small smirk formed on her face. “Oh god, were you one of those spoiled brats? Were you a mean girl?” 

“God, no,” you said, raising your eyebrows. “Not mean.”

“Then what?”

You paused. “I was really shy, I guess. And quiet, too. I didn’t do much but read for a good 10 years of my life. I used to have awful pronunciation because I would spend more time reading than talking to anyone. But I think I would’ve liked you.”

Ellie shook her head.

“Yes,” you said. “Maybe I would’ve been a little scared of you. I probably would’ve never had the courage to talk to you. But I would’ve liked you, I think.”

“Scared of me?”

“Yeah.”

“Why? I was a kid.”

“I was mostly going off of how I felt when I actually first met you,” you said, shrugging. 

She gasped theatrically. “You’re scared of me?”

“No!” you said, smacking her knee. “That’s not what I mean. You’re just really intimidating.”

“Intimidating?” She looked at you incredulously. 

“You’re so tough,” you explained, feeling heat grow in your cheeks. “You seem just—I don’t know, just so capable. There’s nothing you’re too afraid to face, nothing you’re too afraid to say.”

“That’s not true,” she said lightly. 

“Well, of course I’m sure there are things that you’re afraid of,” you amended. “But you hide it so well. You just seem so…fearless.”

“Hm,” Ellie said, letting her head rest against the headboard. “I think you would’ve made me a nervous wreck. If we’d met when we were kids, I mean.”

“Why?”

She shrugged. “I’ve never met anyone quite like you before. You’re just so untouched.” She winced. “God, no. That sounds gross. I just mean…I dunno. I wouldn’t have known how to act around you. You haven’t had to harden up like everyone else I know.”

“Are you saying I should develop trust issues or something?” you asked, your voice a teasing lilt.

“You know,” she said, nodding seriously, “That is part of it. It was really off-putting how quickly you trusted me. But I guess that’s just a product of where you grew up.” 

“Yeah,” you said softly. “I wonder how I would’ve turned out if I’d grown up like you.”

“Can I be honest?” Ellie asked. 

“Sure.”

“I don’t think you’d still be here if you were me,” she said, her eyes crinkling. “No offense. You just have zero survival skills. I swear that shit has to be genetic. I’ve never met someone more averse to violence in my life.”

You sighed, pressed your hands deep into Ellie’s comforter as a thought hit you. “I think if you’d been born in my position, you would’ve been greater than anything either of us could ever dream of. Much greater than me.”

“Definitely not,” said Ellie. “There’s no fucking way I’m studying the way you apparently do. I honestly think I’d take being an orphan over the study schedule I saw in your bag.” 

She was of course referencing the time table you’d roughly sketched up the morning before you’d ended up in Jackson. It was blocked to the minute, citing the study content and the location of said study session. She’d been beyond horrified to see it. 

You laughed, nudging her socked food with yours. 

“Is there music? In Terranova?”

“Oh,” you said, startled at the abrupt change of subject. “Uh, yeah. Of course. I listened to it all the time.” 

“I used to have a Walkman,” she said, leaning back as she reminisced. She was lying flat on her back now. “It ended up breaking a while ago, but it was like my child.” 

“Have you ever seen a movie before?” you asked, sitting up rigid straight as the thought occurred to you.

“Duh,” she said, giving you a weird look. “Do you think I live under a rock?”

“How many?”

“Hm.” Ellie began counting, ending on her second hand. “I think 6?”

“You’ve seen a total of 6 movies in your life?” 

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to see more?”

She shrugged. “I mean, I guess. It’s just tough to find CDs that are still functional after so long.”

“Hold that thought,” you said, holding a finger in her direction as you stood up.

“Hey!” she called as you bolted out the door. “Where are you going?”

You came bounding back to her room in a matter of seconds, your laptop in your hands. 

“What the fuck?” she said. “Isn’t that your homework thing?”

“Yes,” you said, feeling around for an outlet, “But I also have a ridiculous amount of movies downloaded on this. Our dorm wi-fi is shit and I have way too much storage on this thing, so I just download, like, every movie I’ve ever wanted to watch.”

“Your dorm what?”

You waved your hand. The last thing you wanted to do was explain to her how the 802.11 standard allowed wireless connections a few years after the outbreak. “Not important. Here, come look at this.”

Your laptop roared to light with the help of your charging cord. Quickly, you typed your password in and opened your downloads. Ellie hovered over your shoulder, squinting at the screen with confusion. 

“Here,” you said, opening up the album that had everything you had seen for your entire university career and passing the laptop to Ellie. “Use the touchpad—there, yeah—to navigate. Press to click. These are all movie files that I’ve seen. We can watch them on my laptop. Some of them were filmed in Terranova, too, so they’re post-apocalypse.”

She perused the selection you had for quite some time, the glow of the screen lighting up her face against the dim room. “Okay. This one.”

And thus began a tradition. Each night after you’d finished showering and Joel retired to his room, Ellie would come knock on your door and ask if you wanted to come over. You’d talk for a while, then open your laptop and pick something out to watch. Ellie was never high after the first time, which was unsurprising considering that there definitely wasn’t a way to get any in Jackson. Where she found any the first time was still a mystery to you. 

~

A week or so after your first patrol with Ellie, Joel had taken it upon himself to teach you how to shoot. You were surprisingly not as bad as you’d expected, but the rebound was tough to get used to, and you were still hung up over the whole “killing living things” part. 

Your first patrol—first real one—came quickly, and before you knew it, Ellie was handing you the same gun you’d dropped the first time with a suspicious look. 

“Don’t kill one of us with that thing,” she warned. “Be smart, okay?”

“Sure thing, boss,” you said to her, mock saluting as best you could while you were leading Japan to the mounting block.

She rolled her eyes. “Please act normal or I’ll make you carry around that glorified pocket knife instead again.” 

The patrol began as usual, Ellie leading you down the same path you went last time. It was a beautiful day out, with the early spring sun filtering through the evergreen trees that populated the woods and birdsong filling the air. 

Though conversations with Ellie were getting easier (given that it actually seemed like she wanted to talk to you now), you were still starstruck. Nothing that you did and nothing that you thought could get you to stop seeing her the way you did. You were routinely distracted by everything about her. It was a wonder that you could even function as a normal person around her, much less handle a weapon and a horse. 

You two had nearly made the full rotation when your surroundings exploded in action. 

“Fuck,” Ellie hissed as someone behind you two fired a shot that narrowly missed Shimmer. 

You whipped around, gun in hand, to see two men—two normal men who weren’t infected. One held a bow, the other a gun. 

The one who had fired the first shot never even stood a chance. He was down on the ground seconds after you’d seen him, Ellie’s aim taking him out before you could even ready your gun. 

The second man notched an arrow and managed to draw it back and release into the air right as Ellie’s bullet struck him, sending him falling back. 

“I don’t think there’s any more,” said Ellie, slightly breathless as she scanned the forest. “Sometimes outsiders pull this shit—try to kill us for our supplies. I’ve never seen them this close to the wall, though. I’ll have to tell Maria and Tommy.”

Normally, you would’ve felt up to making some sort of sarcastic comment about how that was a really unconcerning thing for her to tell you and that you actually felt so much more comfortable going on patrol knowing that there were also just run-of-the-mill people trying to kill you, but a twinge in your lower body distracted you. 

Slowly, nervously, you looked down. Air immediately left your lungs. 

“At least we’re done,” Ellie was saying, wiping her hands off on her thighs and slinging the gun over her shoulder. “What a crazy end for your first actual patrol, huh?”

When you didn’t answer, she turned to you and saw the arrow sticking out of your side, 

“Shit,” said Ellie, jumping off Shimmer and reaching you in seconds. “Shit, shit, shit. Oh god.” 

“Am I going to die?” you asked, staring starstruck at the blood escaping the outline of the arrowhead. You couldn’t feel anything anymore. Were you in shock?

“No,” said Ellie firmly. “Absolutely not. Do you need help getting off?”

Before you could answer, she was already helping you down, carefully avoiding the protruding arrow. 

“Listen,” she said, back to being her unwavering self, “We’re right by the wall. I’m going to help you walk in, and then I’ll grab some supplies, okay? Don’t try to pull the arrow out. You hear me? Don’t.”

Swallowing hard, you nodded. She helped you walk the few steps to be carefully concealed by the wall, then grabbed the two horses and darted past you, making a break for Maria and Tommy’s cabin. 

In a haze of confusion, you could see Maria running out, holding a box out to Ellie in exchange for the reins of the horses. Ellie said something that made Maria point towards you. She nodded, then ran back to you.

By the time that she’d reached you, the shock had begun to wear off, replaced by the stinging pain from the object that had impaled you. It was worse than anything you’d ever felt before in your life, and it took all you had not to keel over. 

“Hey,” she said, reaching out to grab your face so you had to look at her. “Don’t be afraid. I’ve done this before, okay? I’m, like, the master. It’s going to be alright.” 

“Done what before?” you managed to grind out. 

Ellie let go of your face to dig through the box Maria had given her, producing a needle, a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and what looked like a spool of thin thread. 

Horror slowly trickled through you as you realized what was about to happen. 

“It doesn’t look all that deep,” Ellie was saying as she examined the arrow. “So I don’t think it’s hit anything. It’s just going to be a nasty hole. I’m going to pull it out now, okay?”

You let out a strangled scream as she grasped the arrow’s end and yanked it out without warning.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Ellie repeated. She threw the arrow over her shoulder and knelt so she was hovering over you. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you gasped. You were most certainly not. You couldn’t quite get your eyes to focus, and your heart was beating out of your chest. 

“Alright,” she said firmly, grasping your shoulders and pulling you up so you were slumped against the wall. “Sit up straight, alright? Also, this is going to hurt.” 

At first there were just snipping sounds as she cut part of your shirt away—then something cool and wet pressed to your wound. You cried out again as a fresh white hot pain bloomed in your middle. 

“I know, I know.” Ellie’s voice was consoling as she reached up to brush away the sweaty strands of hair stuck to your forehead. “Just a few more seconds.” 

“Fuck—off—” you gritted out from your teeth. 

Ellie’s eyebrows shot up. “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. Just this once.” 

She released the alcohol-saturated cotton pad, throwing it aside and fussing with the thread and needle until she was satisfied. 

By the time her fingers were ghosting over your abdomen again, you couldn’t pull your eyes away from the puncture wound and the needle she was wielding. 

“Don’t look,” said Ellie. “Pick something else. You don’t need to watch.” 

“I hate needles,” you whispered, choosing the air over her shoulder to be your focal point. 

There was a prodding at the top of your wound, and you hissed. 

“I can’t say I’m a fan myself.” 

Something pierced through your skin, and your midriff exploded in pain. 

The edges of your sight went fuzzy, stars forming in the corners of your vision. Someone that sounded suspiciously like you cried out. Your cheek rammed up against something solid and warm. 

Once the initial sting had faded, you realized that you’d slumped into Ellie, your face buried into her neck. She didn’t make any move to push you off, instead just taking one hand to brush up and down your arm with a feather light touch. 

“You're fine," she said firmly. "Everything's going to be fine."

Your fingers curled around the hem of her shirt as the needle exited through the other end of your wound, pulling another whine from your throat. It was easier to not feel like you were about to pass out when you were crushed into Ellie, clinging onto her and just focusing on the way she felt against you. 

“Hang on, I'm almost there,” she muttered a few stitches later. You’d quieted down, only letting out the occasional gasp as she pulled the thread through. “You're doing so well. Just one more.”

Now that you were more conscious, you had no idea how she was managing to stitch your side while you were nearly on her lap, but she continued to weave her needle through your skin, pulling it taut. 

“And done,” said Ellie. You felt her take another cotton square to swipe against your skin. 

You laid against her for a few more moments, panting as the shock slowly began to fade. She shifted, and for a moment you were sure that she was going to shove you away, but then the hand she’d lifted hesitantly rested on your head, her fingers parting to card through your hair. 

“How did you learn how to do that?” you asked, your voice muffled from where you were pressed against her. 

“Trial and error.” 

Her joke was enough for you to finally let go, sitting back against the wall. Her hand slithered out of your hair, resting back in her lap. 

“Shut up,” you said. “That’s awful.” 

Ellie shrugged. 

“I’m sorry,” you said, feeling the bumpiness of the stony wall press into your back. “I have a really low pain tolerance.”

“So I’ve noticed,” said Ellie, the side of her mouth quirking. 

“I’ve never been hurt before,” you heard yourself saying. “Like, beyond the occasional splinter or bee sting or accidental scrape or ankle sprain. It’s just not something that happens.” 

“Must be nice.”  

You smiled sadly. “Yeah. It’s not nice being weak, though.” 

Ellie looked away from you then, silent as she packed up the first-aid kit. Then: “I don’t think that’s true.” 

She’d said it lightly, like it was meant to be an offhand comment, a throwaway addition that wouldn’t be remembered by either of you. But the sentiment still struck you, twisting your heart.

You were less capable because your survival had never required anything more. You were weak because you could be. 

Her voice from the night she’d been high floated back to you. You haven't had to harden up like everyone else I know. 

Out here, weakness was a luxury few could afford. 

“Not so untouched anymore, huh?” you said, since you didn’t know how else to respond.

“I won’t tell anyone if you don’t,” quipped Ellie. “But if I were you, I wouldn’t lose sleep over it. I still consider needing to be held to get 4 stitches as being soft. You haven’t changed a bit. No offense.” 

Your cheeks burned bright red. “I—”

“I’m teasing,” she said before you could defend yourself. “Arrow wounds suck. I get it.” 

“Right.” You turned away, keeping your gaze fixed firmly on the ground beside you. With feeling more yourself came the inevitable shame at what you’d just done. What had you been thinking, touching her like that? Grabbing onto her like that?

This was going to haunt you for the rest of your life. 

“Don’t make that face,” said Ellie. “I’m sorry for saying that. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. It really is fine.” 

It was not fine. It would never be fine. You wanted the thugs to come back to life and finish you off, and then have the earth open up and swallow you for good measure. 

Ellie probably thought of you as an overgrown child. You doubted that there was ever a point where she could see you as anything equal. If she ever knew how often she appeared in your imagination, she’d probably be disgusted.

She called you pretty a contrarian voice in your head reminded you. Don't you remember?

But maybe she hadn’t meant it. She hadn’t said it explicitly: “Y/N, I think you’re pretty.” She just hadn’t argued when you’d pointed it out. Maybe because she was being nice, or maybe because she was actually being sarcastic. 

“You were really brave, okay?” said Ellie. “Your first armed confrontation and you did well.”

“I didn’t shoot anyone.”

“It could have gone worse,” said Ellie. “You could’ve accidentally shot me. Or died. And neither of those things happened, so that’s successful in my book.” 

“That’s very glass half-full of you.”

“That’s me. Ever the optimist.” 

You snorted.

~

That night, Ellie knocked on your door and asked you if you were up for another movie. You found yourself sitting on her comforter, plugging in your computer and booting it up minutes later.

Physically speaking, it had always been a little awkward to fit two people on her twin bed if they weren’t right next to each other, given that your laptop screen was a very unimpressive size. When you’d first started watching with her, Ellie would rest against the headboard, her legs stretched out in front of you while you would sit with your legs crossed, positioned sideways so you weren’t accidentally pushing her legs off. 

But after the day you had had, your back was sore and your whole body ached. Sitting on something soft without any back support as you angled yourself to look at the screen was quickly proving unsustainable. 

“Pause,” said Ellie about ten minutes in. You’d been watching an older sci-fi flick—Ellie’s choice. 

You complied, leaning forward and pressing the spacebar. “What’s up?”

“Are you even comfortable sitting like that?”

“Yeah,” you said.

“Liar,” accused Ellie, crossing her arms over her chest. “Don’t think I don’t see you ‘discreetly’ cracking your back every 2 minutes. It’s ruining the movie.” 

“Sorry,” you said, shaking your head and smiling in exasperation. “It’s from all the years I spent hunched over a textbook.” 

“You know, you can sit up here,” she said, patting the space beside her. “I don’t bite.”

“Jury’s still out on that,” you said, though by the time Ellie let out a laugh you were already unfolding your legs and moving so you were next to her. 

She leaned forward, grabbing the bottom half of the laptop and lifting it. “Hey, do you want a blanket?”

“Sure.” 

Ellie’s other hand grabbed the edge of her comforter and held it up. 

Hesitantly, you slid your legs under and watched as Ellie did the same, awkwardly holding the laptop in the air before you were both settled enough to rest it on your covered right thigh and her left.  “Better?”

When you nodded, she reached her tattooed arm out and pressed play. The audio picked back up, but you couldn’t for the life of you focus on the movie.

When Ellie had asked if you’d wanted a blanket, you were expecting her to toss the throw blanket that would really only fit one person at you, not invite you to get under the blankets with her. That was significantly more intimate.

You two were sitting close enough that your sides were touching, from shoulder to thigh. You could feel her chest lift with each breath, feel the heat coming off of her.

After a while, Ellie properly laid down, taking the laptop and hoisting it up so it rested on her lower abdomen as she settled into her pillow.

You gulped, your eyes flickering between her face and the screen. Ellie’s gaze was fixed intently on the screen, her eyes half lidded with exhaustion.

You could be tired too. You weren’t, of course—your heart was racing a thousand miles an hour. But she didn’t know that. It was normal to lay down next to her, right? You’d done that with Irena more times than you could count, and it was never weird. Yeah, you could do that. 

Also, if you were totally horizontal, you would stop getting distracted by the sliver of her skin that her crooked shirt showed of her chest. 

In a moment of blind courage, you scooted down so your head was lying right next to Ellie’s. She didn’t seem to react, just extending her hand from under the covers to steady the laptop as it wobbled from the movement. 

Her sheets smelled like the soap that you used to wash your hair—a cottony freshness that had the slightest hint of lavender. 

“Are you going to fall asleep on me?” asked Ellie after a while, her voice nothing more than a whisper. 

“I could ask you the same thing,” you responded, equally quiet. Then, because you hadn’t made enough rash decisions for the night, you angled your head so it rested in the space right above her shoulder. 

She inhaled sharply but didn’t move. On her next exhale a piece of her auburn hair tickled your forehead. 

“How’re your stitches?” she asked suddenly, like she'd just remembered.

“They’re okay. I think. As stitches go.”

“After this is over, I’ll check on them,” she said. “Don’t let me forget, okay?”

“Okay,” you whispered, suddenly feeling shy. It was one thing for her to cut off your shirt and see your skin when she was trying to save your life while you were mentally gone. It was another thing altogether to pull up your shirt without adrenaline coursing through you.

You didn’t pay any attention to the rest of the movie, instead hyperfocused on the rhythm of Ellie’s breathing and the fact that if you moved just a little your chin would be on her shoulder. 

Her mention of the stitches wasn’t helping at all, either. Now all you could think about was the embarrassing way you’d basically tried to crawl under her skin, burying your face into her and clutching at her clothes like you were a child.

A part of you was disappointed that you hadn’t been more lucid at the time. If you had, you would’ve been able to clearly remember the softness of her skin against yours. You would’ve been able to enjoy it for what it was—the only time you’d be able to touch her like that.

Because you couldn’t go around just grabbing onto her shirt and getting into her lap. That was a one-off, the only time that the rules were waived. You couldn’t touch her like that now, now that you didn’t have any excuse. It wasn’t allowed.

But sometimes you wanted to so badly that it hurt. 

The movie ended abruptly, wrenching you out of your thoughts. 

“Hey,” whispered Ellie. “Sit up so I can see.”

Reluctantly, you pressed yourself up from your back and began rolling up the hem of your shirt. Ellie twisted to face backwards, her thin top riding up and showing part of her back as she reached for the lamp.

Once golden light returned to the room, Ellie turned back and bumped your hands away. She bent over, tilting her head so that she was looking at the stitches straight on.

They didn’t look bad, you had to admit. Though you wouldn’t consider the actual experience of getting the stitches a 5-star experience, Ellie had clearly known what she was doing. The surrounding flesh didn’t look angry or irritated, and she’d pulled the stitches just tight enough without it puckering. 

She prodded at the side, then gave a satisfied nod. “Looks good. What did I tell you? I’m really good at this sort of stuff.”

“I think you would’ve made a really good doctor,” you said once she’d sat up straight again. “Under different circumstances.”

“Is this you telling me that you don’t think I’m a good doctor now?” she teased. 

“Your bedside manner could use some work,” you offered.

Ellie laughed then, shaking her head and crossing her arms over her chest. “Yeah, yeah. You lived. You'll get over it.” 

“Did you go to school?” you found yourself asking, hung up on the thought of Ellie as a potential medical student. If she’d been in one of your intro biology classes, you never would’ve been able to pay attention. That was a fantasy you could shelve away for later. 

“Sort of,” said Ellie, looking down at her arms. “I went to a military prep school run by FEDRA. I didn’t graduate though—obviously. I was long gone by then.” 

“Right,” you said, remembering that she’d mentioned that she’d been 14 when she’d left Boston. “And what was it like?” 

She paused, opening her mouth before closing it. “It was—unkind. Joel's told me about schools before the outbreak. It was nothing like that. There were some normal classes, but most of it was meant to prepare us to be soldiers.” 

“Is that where you learned how to do sutures?” 

“Among other things.”

Terranova had no military academies, given that there was hardly any military presence. The founder of Terranova had bodyguards and there was a police force that controlled the borders, but it was nothing like Ellie described. With invisible borders and a social order that valued peace and tranquility over all else, there was no real danger posed to any of the citizens. 

But from what you had learned from movies and books and comments from older people, you had gathered a very dim picture of what a military academy looked like—harsh, strict, and cruel. 

“I’m sorry you had to grow up like that,” you said. 

“It’s okay.”

“Is there anything you would want to study? If you could?” 

Ellie’s eyes closed. “Yeah. There are a couple things.” 

She did not elaborate. 

~

It didn’t take long for you two to settle back into your routine of meeting in her room each evening and watching one of your downloaded movies. Following the night after you’d gotten your stitches, you wouldn’t even have to ask—Ellie would pull up her comforter and let you slide in next to her without giving you a second glance.

You’d also gotten over the fear of touching her. Now, when you flopped back so your head was on her pillow, you’d adjust until you were nestled into the crook of her neck. She never once reacted to it, remaining perfectly still unless she was adjusting the laptop or messing with the sound. 

Because it was normal, of course. You and Irena would rest your head on each other’s shoulders sometimes. That was something that friends did. 

One night a week or so into April, you and Ellie made a harrowing discovery: there was only one movie left in your collection that you two hadn’t seen together. 

“Damn,” said Ellie, furrowing her brow. “And there’s no way to get more on here?”

“I’m afraid not,” you said, frowning. “To download more or stream one, I’d need either an Ethernet cable or a wi-fi connection. Neither of which function out here anymore without cell towers and maintained cables.” 

“Right,” said Ellie, though her face told you that she didn’t understand a word that had come out of your mouth. “So—this is it?”

“Yeah.” Your finger hovered over the play button. “Savor it, I guess.” 

When you settled back and into her side, the heavy weight of dread settled into your stomach. Now that you’d finished showing her your entire collection, it’s not like she’d have a reason to invite you over every night. And there was especially no reason for you two to lie so closely together unless you were both trying to watch something on a small screen.

Once again, your excuse to touch her was gone.

You pressed closer to her as your mind raced. There was no way that Ellie didn’t see what you were doing as platonic, right? Was it possible that she was creeped out by how touchy you were but just tolerated it to be nice? 

Maybe. You swallowed hard, keeping your eyes fixed on the screen. Ellie didn’t see you like…like that. She spoke to you like you were an obligation, a burden. Because you always had been. You’d been a responsibility thrust on her by a father figure who felt like he was indebted to you from that stupid bag of coffee you were lucky enough to bring. 

Oh, god. Had Joel told her to befriend you? Had he asked for Ellie to pretend like she enjoyed spending time with you and to put up with your privileged, soft-hearted nonsense? 

The knowledge that you were spiraling wasn’t enough to stop you. You did the best that you could—tried to remind yourself that it’d been a while since she’d looked disgusted with you, recall that she was outspoken enough to tell you to fuck off if you did something she didn’t like—but it was to no avail.

Ellie reached forward and hit pause on the movie, thrusting you both into silence. 

“Is everything okay?” she asked after a moment. 

“Yeah, why?” 

“I can feel your heart going, like, crazy fast.” 

You froze. “Oh. Uh, yeah. I was just thinking.” 

Ellie pushed the laptop off of her, sitting up to give you an odd look. “About a near death experience or something? You running a marathon up there? That shit’s not normal.” 

You laughed nervously. “It’s really nothing. Just an, uh, suspenseful movie.” 

Which was actually really stupid of you to say, because you were watching some obscure Tarkovsky film that did nothing but pan over burning buildings and pensive men. For the past 5 minutes, there had been nothing on screen but the back of a car driving through traffic with minimal sound. Also, it was in Russian, and the English subtitles made zero sense.

There was a reason why this was the last movie you chose.

“This is the most boring fucking movie I’ve ever watched in my life, so you’re a dirty fucking liar,” said Ellie. Then her face pinched in worry. “Wait. Have you taken a look at your stitches lately?” 

Before you could answer, she was grabbing a flashlight off her nightstand and yanking the comforter off you. She was pulling your shirt up when you finally found your voice.

“Wait!” you said, grabbing the bottom of your shirt and yanking it back in place. “It’s not—I don’t have an infection, okay? There’s nothing wrong with me. I really was just thinking, okay?”

“About what?” She reached back to place her flashlight back on the stand without taking her eyes off you. 

“It’s nothing important.”

“If you say so.” 

She picked the laptop up and placed it back on her thighs, lying back down. You followed suit, but this time you didn’t touch her, opting to keep as much distance as you could so she wouldn’t hear the stuttering of your heart. 

Not even 5 minutes had passed before Ellie sat up to pause the video again.

“Is something wrong?” she asked.

“No. Why?” 

“You’re acting weird,” she accused, but there wasn’t much conviction behind her voice. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean that you’re acting weird,” she repeated, shutting your laptop off and moving it to the bottom of her bed, despite the protests that left your lips. 

“I don’t understand,” you said. “I’m just watching the movie. I’m not doing anything. “

“You’re not watching the movie,” she said. “You weren’t even looking at the screen. What’s got you so bothered? Did I do something?” 

“Of course not.” You pulled your legs under you so your legs were crossed and your back was against the wall. “You don’t need to worry. It’s honestly fine. I’m sorry if I’ve done something to imply otherwise.” 

Ellie rubbed the bridge of her nose, sighing. “You stress me out. You can just tell me, you know? No need to be so cagey. I promise I’ve heard worse.” 

“Don’t be so quick to say that.”

“Okay, now you have to tell me,” she said. “I’m never going to know peace again with a hook like that.” 

You were about to open your mouth to tell her that it was stupid and that it didn’t matter, but something stopped you. 

That was the coward’s way out. That’s what you’d always done—hid your feelings and concealed your emotions. That’s how you’d been raised. That’s how you thought everyone was. But now that you’d spent 2 months in Jackson, you’d realized that some people actually just said what they thought. And that, in the grand scheme of things, it was a better system than the Terranovian culture of superficiality.  

Just because the you 2 months ago would have shook her head and changed the subject didn’t mean the you now had to. 

Maybe this you could be different. Maybe, for once, this you could be brave. 

“I really—” You stopped yourself. Saying I really like you didn’t even begin to encompass what you felt for the girl sitting across from you. To distill the sheer magnitude of your feelings down to four words felt criminal. The swell in your chest that never went away whenever you were near her could never and would never be adequately represented in the puny offerings of the Latin alphabet and the English language, and if you were going to do this, you were going to do it right. 

You dared to look up at her for a moment. She was completely still, her green eyes reflecting the dim moonlight from outside. Once you met her gaze, you couldn’t bring yourself to pull it away.

“I’m really sorry that I’m putting you in an uncomfortable position for saying this,” you began (because old habits ran deep, and you would rather die than be impolite), “And I totally understand if you don’t want to talk to me after this. And I’m sorry for not telling you earlier.”

“As much as I’m sure that this is some sort of cultural cornerstone for you, please spare me the 6 foot long disclaimer script,” Ellie drawled.

“Right.” You gulped. “Anyway. As I was saying.”

“Any day now.” 

At that moment, she had never looked more perfect. Your eyes had adjusted to the dark lighting, so the weak moonlight that spilled in from the window above her created a halo around her head. 

“It’s you.” Your voice came out tiny. “You’re all that I can think about, and I don’t know what to do.”

There. It was off your chest.

For a moment, it was as if you’d suspended time, stopping Earth on its axis as you both held your breaths. There was nothing but silence and the occasional wooden creak of the old house’s foundation in the wind. 

Ellie’s face betrayed nothing, save for something in her eyes and the disappearance of the smirk that had been on her lips moments before. 

Then she spoke, her response whispered.

“Come here, then.” 

final a/n: NOW HOLD ON before you show up outside my dorm with pitchforks and torches 🗣️🗣️🗣️ i'm so sorry but this was a necessary evil as this was going to a massive scene without the chapter break. also a disproportionately massive chapter compared to the other ones coming out. i write very quickly and should get the following part out in a timeframe similar to the first 3 parts. thank u for reading ! tell me what you think abt this chapter while you wait x

[fangirldreams101]

Coming Home pt. 5

DBF! Daryl, Rick, Shane & Negan x Reader

TW: Severe age-gap, older men

Chapter Index

Rick cursed, going to shield you from Shane's sight with his body.

"What the fuck do you think yer doin?" he seethed at Shane's cocky smile.

Rick's rage skyrocketed as he noticed Shane's eyes glance at your body underneath before he shrugs, "You should be thankin' me. Her good ol' dad was gonna be the one to come in and check on ya'll. Givin how ya were lookin at her earlier, I kinda figured it'd be sumn like this."

"Thank you," Rick grit his teeth, "Now leave."

"Nah, I dun think so. What would good ol' dad say knowin' his friend was aboutta fuck his little girl? Dun think he'd be too happy about it, but that's jus me," Shane drawled, picking at his nails.

"Shane," your timid voice called out, still in shock over what just happened, "please don't tell him."

Shane's cocky demeanor softens at the sound of your voice, and he sighs, "Gorgeous, I wouldn't do that to ya. 'N Rick, stop standin' over her like a rabid dog and let her dress herself."

Rick practically growled at Shane's words, kind of proving his point. You gently tapped the man above you on the arm, a quiet signal that it was okay. Rick sighed, tucking himself back into his pants and helping you put your clothes back on while trying to protect you from Shane's unwavering gaze. It was no use however, Shane's dark gaze drunk in every ounce of exposed skin he could. You heard him take a sharp inhale of breath at the brief glimpse he got of your wet pussy. Rick also heard it, whipping around and glaring the younger man down.

Shane cleared his throat and motioned for you to grab the drinks. Rick snatched a few off the counter, the blue balls clearly bothering him, and you did as well, taking a few into your grip. You guys began to head out of the room with Shane the last one to leave, grabbing the remaining bottles and giving a small chuckle.

As you guys approached everyone else, your dad exclaimed, "The hell took you guys so long?"

You felt Rick freeze and Shane took a step forward about to speak up, when your voice sounded out, "I accidentally dropped 2 of the beers and they shattered on the ground. Rick was helping me clean up cause the glass got everywhere."

"Aw, you didn' get hurt, did you," your dad ask, concerned as Rick and Shane looked at you in astonishment, marveling at your quickly thought out lie.

"Nope," you said cheerfully, "everything is all good now. They were very...helpful!"

You all kept the façade up as you went to your seats and settled down. You tried to ignore the dampness between your legs and Daryl's curious gaze. Daryl's eyes kept switching between you, Rick, and Shane, but when Shane gives him a smirk, he scowls and goes back to eating. You all easily reenter the current conversations at the table and time goes by until the incident with Rick feels like a weird fever dream. Even though Rick caught you a bit off guard, you were super pleased to know that at least one of the men you were interested in was willing to get with you. You hoped that once the party was over, you'd be able to have a talk with him and maybe make it a reoccurring situation.

Dinner did eventually begin to die down, with the folks with children the first to head out. Next were the couples, tipsy and giggling amongst themselves, probably going home to have some fun. Everyone helped clean up after themselves before heading out, and eventually the remaining group went outside to the porch to rest. Your Dad was having a conversation with Morgan and the local priest, Gabriel. You decided that this would be the perfect time to go talk to Rick but as you went to find him among the remaining people, Daryl sought out your attention.

"Hey," his gruff voice called out, "gotta momen'?"

You sighed, "What's up, Daryl?"

"Ya migh' be able ta pull the wool over ya daddy's eyes, but don'cha lie ta me," he leaned in, "Wha were ya doin' w' Rick?"

Your face flushed and you harshly whispered, "None of your damn business."

"'m jus tryna look out for ya. I care about cha," he mumbled, his eyes searching your own.

You maintain eye contact, getting lost in his desperate gaze before huffing, "You had your chance."

Rage flared in Daryl, "The sunnabitch touch ya?"

His head whipped around, searching for the sheriff. You grab his arm roughly and bring his attention back to you.

"What I may or may not be doing with him is again, none of your business. Don't you dare start anything," you hissed.

Daryl blinked at you. Internally he was fuming, but seeing your angry gaze directed at him was enough to reel him back in. He nodded and you took that as your chance to leave. The porch surrounded the house so you went to go look for Rick at the sides but as you did, you bumped into another person you were trying to avoid,

Shane chuckled as he grabbed onto your arms, "Whoa there, gorgeous, where ya runnin' off to?"

"Shane please, let me be. It's embarrassing enough that you saw me... that way," you mumbled.

Shane leaned into your side, whispering into your ear, "Was it? Cuz I found you to be mighty damn cute."

He presses a fast and hard kiss to the side of your head, "If you ever want a real man to treat you good, I will never say no to someone as lovely as you, gorgeous.”

You stammer a little as Shane saunters off into the night, throwing a grin and wave.

Rick comes up behind you, "We need to talk."

You beam up at him and he feels a pang of guilt knock through him. You follow him and you both find a quiet nook.

"So I-," you both began, and you let out a light laugh, not noticing the grimace Rick had.

"You first," you smile but Rick shakes his head, indicating that you start.

"I, uh, really enjoyed what happened," you said bashfully, "and I was hoping we wouldn't let this be a one time thing?"

Your hopeful tone and shining eyes made Rick feel like the worst person in the world, and maybe he was.

He shakes his head sternly, "This can never happen again, (Y/N)."

You gaped at him, "W-what?“

”Yer dad is my friend, you could be my daughter's age. What I did was vile. I'm so sorry for doin' that to ya, w' what's been happenin' w' my ex-wife and the kids, it jus' took a toll, but it dun excuse my behavior. I should've never-"

"Enough," you sighed, "we did it. You didn't take advantage of me, I wanted it."

"I can't believe this is happening again," you murmured, running your hands through your hair.

Rick's brow furrowed, "Wha' was tha'?"

"Nothing. Forget it. Okay. That's fine. Have a good night, Sheriff."

You walked away, reentering the house and going straight to your room. After both Daryl AND Rick now rejecting you, you think you needed a break from older men.

Taglist: @eternalrose81

[gadriezmannsgirl]

Not Like Others -P.G (2)

Not me ending this as soon as I got home and did all my homework a bit rushed at 1:35am knowing I had to wake up early today✌🏻😌✨😁 But still I fell asleep with my phone in hand, so I didn't posted it on the time I had finished😭🥴 and now I'm off of work and decided to take a little breather from Uni work. Anyways... I hope you enjoy it! Please, let me know what you think of this! And I want to hear/read you guys out, what do you think it'll happen in the series?!

|Chapter I| |Chapter III|

Summary: When you get the chance of meeting Pablo Gavi, you don't seem to react as the rest of people would do and that attracts him to you

Two Weeks Later

Being the new girl was absolutely awful, everyone is looking at you, talking, whispering about you, judging the way your looks without getting to know anything from you first. You hated it and you hated being in the spotlight.

You had a week going at the Universitat de Barcelona and you were still pretty much alone since no one has got closer to you for anything. You now remember why you hated the thought of moving to a new country, this was exactly what you imaginated and exactly what you disliked.

Walking into the cafeteria, everyone turned to look at you once more, you sighed grabbing your lunch and going towards the table that was in the back, ready to eat. Have you said you hated being in this kind of spotlight?

Because you had done a revalidation and equivalence of your recent college studies in Canada for the transfer, you were now in your third semester (two semesters behind of what you actually were), where the UB had been the first one interested in you and opened their doors, accepting you into their university family. You were currently sat at one of the tables eating your lunch and enjoying some words of Colleen Hoover “Regretting You” when two girls and three boys stood in front of you

"¿Les puedo ayudar en algo?" (Can I help you with anything?) You said

"Yes, ¿Podemos sentarnos contigo?" (Can we sit with you?) The red haired girl said with a small smile

"Hemos estado queriendo acercarnos desde que llegaste pero no sabíamos como" (We've been wanting get closer to you ever since you came here but we didn't know how) The sunkissed skin boy said showing his dimples as you nod witth a light smile

"Sure" You made space for them to fill the table

"Anastasia Rodríguez but everyone calls me Ana" A dark haired girl with glasses said

"I'm Olivia Montero" The red haired girl said doing a peace sign with her fingers

"Jonathan Ontero" A blonde guy smiled

"Eric Wolf" A dark haired boy with deep blue eyes said

"Antonio Figueroa" The sunkissed boy said

"Nice to meet you guys, I'm Y/N Santos" You smiled softly

"Have you got any other friends? What do you think of the Uni?" Jonathan asked as you shake your head laughing

"You guys are the first ones to come by" You admit shyly "And it's huge, I keep on getting lost" They laugh "but it's really pretty"

"Is that why you came late to Paint II?" You nod shyly

"I think the professor doesn't like me though, he keeps on putting this bitchy face whenever I appear on his vision" They laugh

"No, that's his face. I promise" Eric chuckled as you nod laughing quietly

"I'm sorry if this may sound a bit out of place, but it's so cool and at the same time so weird to have a Canadian between us"

"I'm not" You shook your head "I'm Spaniard"

"You're even cooler then!" Ana exclaimed making a few heads come to where you were sitting, Jonathan sushed her as she softly pushed her finger up to her lip in a quiet motion. You couldn't help but laugh

"Lo siento" You said as they waved you off with a smile.

They kept on talking and it was safe to say you liked them, they were really funny. You don’t know how or when but after the lunch they had spent the rest of the day with you. Anastasia claiming you as one of them now, you smiled and accepted. You had enjoyed the day with their jokes, occurrences and got a hold of the whole system at college because of them.

They reminded you a little bit of your old friend group but instead of being five (six including you), your old group consisted of four, two and two. However these guys were chattier than ever and you loved that too seeing that you also loved to talk.

“Oh, Y/N! One of my friends is doing this party this Saturday, you should come!” Jonathan said as you all were meeting after the last class of the day.

"Party?" You ask "It's their birthday?" He shook his head

"More like a celebration" He added "He's in a team and wants to do a celebration for this big win" You nod processing

“Oh gosh! Yes, that’s such a good idea! You can socialize more, get to know people and even Barcelona!” Olivia said as you shook your head lightly

"I don't know" You said doubtly "I know nobody in there and I'm sure you guys will do your thing" You waved your hands around "The last thing I want is one of you stop spending a good time to practically babysit me and no, señor. That's not happening" You shook your head and also shook your finger side to side as they all smiled

"You're cute if you think we won't spend THE greatest time over there" You smiled blushing lightly at Eric

"Also, you're cute thinking we'll give up on the first try" Ana wrapped her arm around your shoulder "You just have to wait, you'll be crazy for the party"

And three days later you were tired of waiting. The persuasive method of these guys was extremely annoying and you were already guessing the words that could come out of their mouths, each one, taking turns on who was the one speaking next.

You could even say you had dreamed with the: 'You have/gotta/should come to my/Jonathan's friend party! It'll be awesome and we'll all be there, pretty please' words.

And when Antonio opened his mouth you instantly shushed him off.

"I'll be there" You said to him as he smiled nodding fist bumping the air

"I knew it!" He exclaimed a little bit too loud

"If you already knew the various artistic movements, Mr. Figueroa, I ask you to come up here and explain some of them" Miss Alba, the professor of Modern Art, told him in a monotone voice and her facial expression was up in interest as everyone turned around to look at you both. You looked down in shame and blushed hard as Antonio stuttered

"I-I...mmm"

"The most seen, used and that we can qualify as importants are cubism, futurism, surrealism, impressionism, expressionism, art brut and a few more" You spoke up with determination, you had already seen this curse back in Canada and you had nailed every test, quiz, popquiz, presentation and essays.

"Well done, señorita Santos. Now, señor Figueroa, le aconsejo que preste un poco más de atención a la clase y deje de hablar con Y/N, entendemos que es una chica muy bonita, inteligente y es nueva aquí, pero por favor, para los chats existen las horas de descanso" (Mr. Figueroa, I suggest you to pay a little more of attention to the class and stop talking with Y/N, we understand she's pretty, smart and new girl here, but, please, you can do that bit of chatting on your resting times) If you had blushed you were now rainbow coloured, Antonio had murmured a quiet "Sure, professor" and sank back on his seat as you heard the laughs of the whole class came in embarrassing the two of you

"Happy?" You whisper ask "You embarrassed us!"

"No, I embarrassed myself. You saved your ass answering to that question" He said with a light smile on

You shook your head and smiled lightly

"Good thing is" Antonio said softly leaning over you "... You'll go to the party" You smile nodding

"You did it, guys. I'm going to the damn party" He fist bumped the air again

"¡Joder que si!" He says as you sush him once more

"Stop that!"

...

You wonder how you got in this position.

Antonio said he was going to give you the lift but his car suddenly broke down and he was coming later because of it. Jonathan and Ana were already there since the evening helping Jonathan's friend out, Olivia was going with her boyfriend and he was driving her. And Eric had a last minute issue with his grandmother so he couldn't go, nothing too big though.

You didn't trusted going in cabs alone, you never liked it, ever since you were little and saw that a man had kidnapped a woman like that you had hated it, and on really weird ocassions you were going into one but you always had to be on the phine with someone or messaging.

Your parents were busy at the traffic and you were stuck, you thought of pulling out from the party but you also hated it, giving your word and then not fulfilling in what you said.

So, with a call to your mom letting her know you'll go there walking and a google map direction from Jonathan you decided to grab your keys and walked all the way there. It was 4:30pm so the sun was still visible and when you realized the walk was 25 minutes away, it got better and didn't think to much of it.

But how the hell did you decided to get to the party on foot was the best option if you only had two weeks and three days moved in the Catalan streets?

...Guess who ended up lost?

You sighed once more, the map only confusing you even more, you were supposed to be at El Camino street but you saw around you and you were at the Las Palmas street. You sighed in defeat.

"I'll die today" You murmured sighing

You tried to go up to people and ask them directions but you were either too shy or they didn't stopped not even to give you the time.

You were about to call desperate to any of the guys or even your parents to take you either back home or towards the party when you saw three boys across you eating a cup of ice cream.

This was your chance to get all sorted out and hopefully go to the right way towards the house.

"Hola" You touched one of the guys shoulder when he turned around his expression was full on scrunched up, it seemed like he was bothered by your presence and you smiled at him "Lamento molestarles" (Sorry to bother you, guys) You said softly to direct yourself towards the guy who's shoulder you touched and face was scrunched up "¿Quería preguntarte si tu podrías...?" (I wanted to ask you if you could...?) He cut you off harshly

"No estoy disponible para fotos o autógrafos ahorita, lo siento. Estoy con mis amigos en una salida y queremos pasarla bien" (I'm not up for pics or autographs right now, sorry. I'm with my friends and we just wanna have a great time) He said and you furrowed your eyebrows before laughing lightly

"¿Okay? Eso está perfecto. I wanted to-" (That's perfect)

"Please, no autographs nor pics"

"¿Autógrafos? ¿Fotos? I'm sorry, who do you think you are?" (Autographs? Pics?) You asked laughing lightly

"Like you don't know who I am" He said not believing it

"I don't know actually! Are you that important for me to ask for a pic or something?" He stood there without saying anything

"I don't believe it. Just go please, I'm not in the mood right now" He said and you sighed shaking your head

"Ay, hermano. ¿Sabes? Olvídalo. Was going to ask you to give me this address because I'm new here and most likely, lost; but nevermind" (Oh, bro. You know what? Just forget it) You shook your head watching his face fall a bit once you showed him your phone with Google maps on "Gracias de todas maneras" (Thank you either way) You said "Lamento arruinarles la tarde" (Sorry to ruin your evening) You said once more before turning around

"Oye, no. Lo siento, déjame-" This time you cut him off by showing your palm

"Don't worry, have a nice day" You smiled politely "Try not to be an arrogant asshole next time, maybe" You left them hearing the calls from the guy but you didn't paid attention to him too busy looking at your phone trying to guess if it's right or left

"Hola" Someone said behind you, you turned around seeing one of the guys that were along with the arrogant brunette "Disculpa a mi amigo. Es un poco quisquilloso" (Hi. Excuse my friend. He's a little peaky)

"Un poco arrogante, diría yo" (A little arrogant, I'd say) He laughed nodding

"Only sometimes" You hummed

"That's not nice at all, then" You say crossing your arms across your chest "So...?" You ask hinting on him to tell you the reason why he had come up to you

"I'm willing to help you out find the address" He said and you nodded taking out your phone, showing it to him "You're close, five minutes away tops"

"Really?" You ask impressed watching as he laughs nodding

"This is Las Palmas street, the next one is El Camino. It says here you take a turn on the left and at the end of the street there's this residence, it's in there" He smiles as you nod smiling too

"Okay okay, cool. Thank you so much. I'm sorry for ruining your evening"

"You didn't ruined anything in fact, I'm sorry for Gavi's behaviour" You smile shaking your head

"Is he really known? Or he was just taking the piss out of me?" The guy stays quiet for a bit as you shook your head "Well, nevermind... Just tell him to come down from that cloud of his, please. Arrogancy doesn't look nice at all" You said as he nods pointing gunfingers at you

"Got it" He smiled "I'm Diego, by the way. I hope Barcelona is of your liking"

"Thanks, it's really gorgeous... I just have to learn the streets" He laughed as you smiled waving at him "Gotta go, bye! And thanks once again"

"No problem at all!" That's the last thing you heard from the guy before you're walking away.

As you followed instructions from him, you indeed realized you were a block away from El Camino street, you smiled once you saw the big white house as Jonathan had described. You texted him letting him know you were outside, music was being heard from the inside and you smiled grew when you saw Jonathan came out opening the door for you.

"Y/N! I'm glad you are here!"

"I know, I'm glad too! I came here walking and got 'lost' and then there were these guys, one of them was an incredible hijo e'puta but the other helped me out"

"First going out, first party, first fight, first lost and first almost everything today... Checked from the list" You smiled shaking your head "C'mon, let's introduce you to Alejandro, my childhood best friend" Once you got inside, Jonathan's eyes were dancing across the people inside here "¡Balde!" He yelled across the upbeat song "There he is"

You walked next to him until you stopped in front of two guys who were talking and laughing in their world

"Guys! This is Y/N, the newest member into the Uni club" All four guys smiled

"Soy Alejandro" A black skin boy said hugging and giving you two kisses as you did the same "Alejandro Balde, es un placer conocerte. And this is a friend of mine, Ferran Torres"

You greeted the short haired boy just like you did with Alejandro

"¡Bienvenida a Barcelona!" Ferran said as you smile

"¡Gracias!"

"Y/N, mi casa, tú casa" Alejandro said "The kitchen is over there with the drinks and food, the backyard" He was pointing to everywhere he talked "And if you need the bathrooms, let me know, going to the downstairs bath in a party is a bit awful" You laugh nodding and agreeing with him

"¡Gracias!" You said once more

"Don't worry, hope you have a nice time!"

Yeah. You hoped that too.

After a long while drinking some Coca-Cola, dancing, eating a few snacks and overall having a nice time with your friends and Jonathan's buddies, you all sat down outside to enjoy the starry night

"Oh! I just remembered!" You said "Jonathan told me you guys were doing some celebration. I really don't know what you guys have achieved but congratulations" Ferran, Alejandro, Eric and Pablo Torre laughed lightly

"We're football players"

"That's nice!" You open your eyes lightly "And what did you guys won?"

"La Supercopa España" Pablo said as if nothing and you nodded once again "We're first team players"

"Really?"

"You don't watch football?" You shook your head a bit ashamed

"I don't really like it that much" They faked hurt "Sorry!" You all laugh "I rather hockey tho"

"Nice sport" You nod

"It truly is" You smile remembering your team "And which club you guys are in?"

"FC Barcelona" You smile got bigger.

Yes, you didn't liked football but that doesn't meant you don't know the game or the different leagues of it and Barça was a really good and skilled team. You knew your rookies about it, not many but enough to defend yourself.

"Really cool" You said "Well, then... Congratulations on the win guys"

"Gracias" Ferran said "Let me just say... Having us a friends, you'll end up falling in love with football"

"And most important, terminarás siendo una Culé" (You'll end up being a Culé) You shook your head smiling softly

"I don't think so... Gotta stay loyal to my hockey and my Mapple Leafs" They laugh

"Nah, ya verás" (you'll see) Alejandro said shaking his head

"Lo veré" (I'll see) you all laughed

"Let's see that now, then. We'll be waiting for you" Ale said

"Waiting for me when and where?" You asked

"You're invited to the next game at Camp Nou, Y/N" Torre said as you nod

That sounds good... I mean, what could possibly happen? It's just a game with your new friends.

"Deal"

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @anastasia-nova @pixwls @footballerficsposts @dessxoxsworld @berriesarenice @chaotic-taco-collector-blog @mystic-aquarius @bisexualbith @sideeblogsstuff @http-isabela

I'm doing a taglist for Not Like Others, if you want to be there, comment a little "NLO taglist, please" and I will know that you wanna be included in it and you will be. Like I said in the beggining, I truly hope you guys like it, let me know what you think. Please, feedback is really important to me because it lets me know you like my works, it helps me with writing and makes me feel nice knowing all the effort I put in these little stories is worth it. With this being said, I read you guys, take care!

[justatypicalwizard]

Wants Within | S. Shinazugawa | Chapter 10

✦ Sanemi Shinazugawa x femReader!, college au, reader is adult

✦ Synopsis: You're a college student taking classes with a very strict lecturer- professor Shinazugawa. Because of an unfortunate even you got on his bad side so now you're trying everything to regain in his eyes. Well, you most certainely didn't expect that kind of attention.

✦ Word count: 2,8k

18+, minors do not interact

You had the feeling that you're sitting too stiff, your hands are too sweaty, your legs are like wood. Everything was off about you when he pierced you with his gaze. Panicking out of excitement, you instantly grabbed your phone, the screen illuminating your face as you checked the time.

''Nine minutes.'' You breathed out quietly, not looking at him.

''Mhm.'' He nodded with affirmation.

You were stiff fidgeting with your fingers. You could not think about anything to talk about. He was so close, so good looking, everything was dark, the only light source being the city lamps seen from the vast windows of his apartment.

''The semester nearly ended, you must have written all of your exams already, didn't you?'' He started and you were grateful he picked up the university topic once more.

''Yes, I don't have anything else to pass. Everything went well.'' You answered in a stiff manner.

''And how did you like my classes?'' His prying voice echoed in your head.

''They were interesting. I've really learned a lot of things.'' You started, feeling your breath shallow. ''Sometimes you were more demanding and... hard to please, professor.''

''You think I'm hard to please?'' You couldn't believe he caught that one not relevant phrase that you used because you were out of ideas.

''I just phrased out myself in a poor way, what I meant was...'' You wanted to explain but he interrupted you.

''I know what you meant, Miss Y/N.'' You literally had no idea whether he is still talking about the university or maybe...

Realising you're once again thinking about weird stuff you blushed hard. He saw it even in the dim light lurking out of the windows.

''What do you have on your mind?'' The white haired man didn't ask, he demanded an answer.

''Nothing in particular.'' You squeaked out.

''No need to lie to me.'' His slick voice smacked you with realisation.

Finally, you looked him in the eye. He had a smirk on his face, as if he had won something he really badly wanted. Your face expressed pure shock and guilt, you felt exposed.

''No need to be ashamed.'' He added upon seeing your facial expression. ''You're not the only one.'' Shinazugawa purred, looking innocently to the side.

Blinking a few times, you asked yourself whether you were the first person he treated that way... or maybe just the next one. Could Shinobu be right?

''But you're the only one not annoying me with your behaviour.'' He whispered, giving you a glance from under his long eyelashes.

For Shinazugawa this was now or never. He risked a lot, but his lust was just too big.

Then, just as you were about to say something in your defence, you heard something pop. Turning your head to the windows, you saw thousands of fireworks, erupting in the night sky. They covered all the stars with their colourful pieces. Something blasted next to your head and you spotted Shinazugawa opening the champagne bottle. Standing up, he poured you one glass and the other one for himself. Lifting it up in the air, he waited for you.

''Happy new year Miss Y/N.''

''H-happy new year.'' You mumbled.

''Answer me. Do you want this?'' His gaze pierced you.

''Hm?'' You were unsure of what he was asking.

Realising it, he moved closer to you, towering over your form.

''You're a smart girl, but I think I need to put this one more bluntly.'' Bending over slightly, he moved his face closer to yours, his hot breath tickling your ear. ''Do you want to go to bed with me?''

Your throat clenched as the answer desperately wanted to get out. Your mind was hazy with lust.

''...yes.'' You whispered.

His lips clashed with yours. You felt him taking the glass out of your hand. The world around spun as you focused on his mouth seeking entrance into your. He was not about to go slow. His hands sneaked under your thighs, picking you up. Still, kissing you he made his way to his bedroom.

Throwing you on the double bed, he looked upon you, his eyes glistening in the darkness.

''Turn around.'' he demanded and you obeyed.

Feeling his weight on the bed behind you, you saw his hands sneaking around your waist. He explored your body, grabbing and squeezing whatever he liked. Soon, the zipper of your black dress was undone and he was slipping it off of your arms. Helping him out, you freed yourself from the garthment. The man opened your bra and you were left only with your panties and stockings. Feeling exposed, you tried to cover your breasts with your hands but he didn't let you.

''Are you gonna hide from me now, after what you agreed to?'' He purred into your ear, making you loosen your arms.

Groping your breasts he kissed your neck. Moving his chin upwards he caressed your cheek with his face.

''How do you want me to take you?'' The white haired asked.

''I don't know.'' You answered, gasping as you felt him pinch your nipple.

''So, should I pick?'' His voice was heavy with lust and he seemed very pleased with where this was going.

''Yes.'' You mumbled.

''Okay.'' He snickered. ''If you would like me to stop with anything just say 'physics'.''

With that he grabbed your head and pushed it into the soft bed sheets. His other arm sneaked around your hips, pulling them up so that your ass was as high as he wanted it to be. Grabbing your panties he pulled with force, ripping them on their seam. A gasp escaped your lips when you felt a cold breeze on your folds.

He put one finger in his mouth, slicking it good and not waiting for any answer, he circled his fingertip around your entrance.

''Tell me to do it, I want you to please.'' He growled smacking your ass with his free hand.

A squeak found its way out of your throat.

''Please.'' You mumbled.

''Please what?''

Making up your mind, you decided that the last bits of shame were about to leave your body and mind.

''Please finger me, professor.'' You were ready to get what you wanted, but Shinazugawa suddenly stopped massaging your pussy.

Pushing his hips into your and his chest into your back, he once again hovered over your ear.

''Let's get one thing straight. If I'm about to rail you, you call me by my first name and you know damn well what it is.'' Pushing himself up he once again started to rub your entrance.

''Please, finger me... Sanemi.'' The sound of his name, so lewd in your lips, drew him crazy.

Sanemi pushed his long finger all the way between your walls, earning a gasp from you. He pushed it in and out a few times, stretching you. Then, he started to seek. Moving around in you slowly, he waited for that one hitched breath that was about to come out if he found it. Feeling him around in you, you clenched the bed sheets. Not knowing what to expect you just waited, grunting from time to time. Then, it hit you. He brushed around something that sent a faint signal down your spine and legs. It was not an explosion of pleasure but more like the first step. You gasped and tensed your tights which made your walls clench slightly.

This was the sign for him.

Bending over on you, he went back to that place making your hips start to move. The pleasure slowly, shyli building up in you. It was a light sensation that felt like it could be lost anytime. Sanemi was not about to make that happen. Seeing you picking up the game, as your body pushed into his, he clenched his fingers around your neck, pulling it up, arching your spine in a delightful manner. Moving his lips to your neck he whispered.

''Tell me where it feels the best baby.''

His teeth sunk into your skin and a new wave of pleasure escalated from your warm bottom. His other hand found your right breast and pinched on your erected nipple. Shinazugawa shifted his weight on you, standing on his knees and using the grabbing hand to steady himself. The three places where you felt a slight pain and overflowing pleasure mixed and made the sensation in your pussy triple.

Now it didn't feel like it was about to vanish, it was very physical and overwhelming. You felt your walls squeeze lightly and his snowwhite hair tickled your ear. Wanting to know how it feels, you tighten your kegel muscles and a loud moan escapes your lips. Breathing heavily you were not able to squeeze those muscles any longer, the sensation that it gave, pairing with his finger and mouth, was just too much.

''You ever had an orgasm?'' He asked, also panting a bit.

''Not really, agh, I don't think so.'' You spat out between your deep breaths.

''Then I'll give you your first one.'' He snickered into your ear. ''Clench them, open and close, the way you want, but don't stop.'' He ordered you and you did as he wanted.

Tensing your muscles once more you groaned from the amount of pleasure you felt. Doing as he told you, you soon found your own tempo that paired with his, making your lips part and soft moans escape them. The feeling built up making your head light. Your legs tensed more and more with every second, the muscles in your tights twitching from time to time delicately. Your hips moved side to side, brushing over his. His teeth and tongue marking your neck, making you feel absolutely wonderful. You knew it was going to leave marks, and that's what drew you over the line, the feeling of being his small, small, obedient slut.

You felt higher and higher as your body gave out more and more signs of the upcoming.

''Sanemi, ugh!'' You wanted to say something but the sound of his name made him bite you hard. ''I think I'm-I'm, mmm, is it not better to come, uh, together?'' You finally spat out.

''Oh baby, if you were squeezing me like that I would burst in a second. Let yourself relax first. If you want to give me real pleasure, say it out loud when you'll be cumming.''

Groaning at the sound of his voice you only lasted a short while.

An extreme wave of pleasure flushed through your body, from your core upwards. You were no longer in control of your own muscles as they acted on their own. Every tense sent a new, pleasing wave. Moaning out loud, you let yourself sink in that feeling.

''Sanemi!''

You gave your legs a break, falling on the bed, experiencing new parts of your body. After a few seconds your core stopped throbbing and you slowly started to focus on the world around you. Yoru head was spinning slightly as if you were intoxicated and your arms and legs felt relaxed, the warmth of your core calming down.

The man pulled his finger out of you, standing up slowly, looking at your lying form. He helped you up, holding you tightly, both of you sitting on your knees.

''How did it feel?'' He asked, pleased.

''Good, you made me feel good.'' You smiled, pushing your head into his chest.

He laughed slightly, turning you around on the bed. You looked him up and down, waiting for more.

''Are you just going to stare at me or will you finally undress me?'' He gave you a raised brow look.

Blushing, you took one of the buttons of his black shirt into your hands. Undoing it you revealed more and more of his toned chest. His muscles were standing proud in front of your face. Wondering how you achieved this, you let out a small sigh, done with your work. Helping him slide the shirt down, your breasts pushed into his exposed chest, as you looked at him. The man patted his belt. Quickly, you unmade it and he slid it out of his pants. You went to work with his trousers. Grabbing the button holding them on his hips you brushed his erection, realising it's there. Blushing hard, you proceeded, undressing him fully.

''Oh.'' A shocked sound left your throat as you standed, face to face with his erection. It was bigger than you expected. ''How will it fit?''

''You're a skillful girl, you'll manage.'' He smirked, proud of himself. ''Do you want to please me now?''

Nodding, you knew what to do.

Grabbing his penis in your hand, you moved your palm up and down slightly. Giving the tip a shy lick, you circled your tongue over it. Taking it all in your mouth, you sucked lightly, matching the movement of your hand. His beck straightened up as he was pleased with what you were doing. Speeding up a bit you sucked him more pushing his tip all around your cheeks from the inside and deeper in your throat. Unfortunately, you felt a blockade at the end that gave a gag reflex.

''Do you know how to deepthroat?'' He asked, looking down on you and caressing your cheek.

''No.'' You shook your head, taking him out of your mouth. ''Never done it.''

''I can teach you if you want.'' He glanced down. ''But you don't have to if you're not feeling like it, it's not easy.''

''I want to try.'' You bursted, excited.

''Okay, just be careful.'' He nodded. ''You need to take it further slowly. Sit comfortably and relax your back. Breath between pushes, when I'm out of your mouth. Try to surpass the gag reflex, pushing yourself a bit more every time. If you think it's too much just push out, I won't move until you say it's okay for me to do so. Most important, relax your throat, don't make sounds and focus on your breath. If you do that, you should be able to take it. Remember, it will still burn no matter how good you are in it so be sure you want to do it. It may hurt your throat afterwards.'' He gave you the instructions.

Focusing on your goal, you took him in as deep as you could. Feeling the tight sensation you pushed a little bit more, gagging instantly. Trying once more it was the same. The third time however, you felt like you could go a bit further. Repeating this action on and on you took more and more of him, feeling his taste deep down your mouth.

Meanwhile, Shinazugawa stared at you, your eyes closed as you learned how to please him. His manhood drips with your spit and disappears further in your mouth every time. To be fair he thought you wouldn't be able to do it, but he felt the back of your throat harder and harder within minutes. It was hard for him not to slam himself into you, yet, he didn't want to hurt you so he fought with himself, waiting for the moment. Closing his eyes, he relaxed and focused on his lower parts, experiencing all of your mouth. A small moan escaped his lips.

After some time you caressed the side of his hip making him open his eyes. Looking down he spotted your lips touching his pubic mound. Letting out a small laugh he tangled his fingers into your hair.

''Good girl, you learned really quickly. Now move faster.''

Doing as he asked you, you started to pull and push, picking up on your speed. Soon, you had a nice tempo, opening your throat for him everytime. Yes, it did hurt but you didn't care. The sensation building down in your pussy was more important.

Pulling out completely, you locked eyes with him.

''Deepthroat me.'' You stated.

''I think you're not ready...'' He wanted to oppose.

''Fuck mu throat NOW. You'll repay me in a while. Fuck my throat, please, Sanemi.''

''You really don't know what you're playing with, don't you?''

He grabbed the back of your head, pulling on your tangled hair and slammed himself down into you. Tears built up in your eyes and fell down your cheeks but he felt you relax even more. Seeing all the signals, he started to ride out your mouth, feeling his tip caress your back. Panting and moaning he pleased himself with you, you gladly accepted it.

Your body was limp and your head held tight by Sanemi, but you felt wonderful. You felt used just in the way you wanted.

Suddenly, he pulled out, not ending in your mouth.

''I want to fuck you.'' 

SERIES MASTERLIST

[juey20000]

The Cub Chapter 1

Warning: Explicit Language, brief mentions of sex acts

AN: Hello, everyone; this is my first fanfic. I became OBSESSED with The Bear and Sydney and Carmey and had a little fanfic idea come up in my head and decided to write it. I'd rewatched both seasons and I hope I didn't make the characters too out of character. The story takes place 2yrs after season 2, and Nat has a 1yr old girl; criticism is welcome, but be nice, please. Also, I'm not going to write smut for this fanfic; all sex acts will be in past tense or implied; Im not that good at writing smut. So I've decided not to write any, but if I do change my mind I will put the proper warnings for the chapter.

Summary - It happened so fast, one minute they were trying out new recipes at Carm’s apartment and the next they were ripping each other’s clothes off. It’s been two years since the opening of The Bear, business has been doing good and they are still working on getting a star and Uncle Jimmy finally got his money back. Natalie had a little girl, Amy, who is one and a half and Sydney and Carmy had been secretly hooking up for a year. Everything was going great.. until Sydney’s period came late.

Sydney stared at the two pregnancy tests, one was negative and the other was positive; what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

She had been feeling off for a few weeks now, certain foods either tasted like shit or had her running to the bathroom, her breasts were sensitive and sore, and she’s been having this terrible mood swings which would cause her to snap at everyone from Tina, to Carmy, she even snapped at Natalie at one point.

And she’s been having these weird food cravings all week.

After she missed her period she finally decided to take a pregnancy test, her heart started racing all she can think about is how disappointed her father would be, and how is she going to take care of a fucking baby while working at the bear? How is she going to tell her dad?

How is she going to tell Carmy?

Her and Carm has been hooking up for a year and a half now, but they been careful they were using condoms and she was on birth control, how the fuck did this happen?

Three sharp knocks on the bathroom door snapped Sydney out of her thoughts. “Yo Syd, you good in there?” Carmy asked while trying to open the locked door. “And why is the door locked?”

She had spent the night at his apartment like she had done every other night since they started hooking up. Sydney quickly grabbed the tests and the box and bag it came from, “Um, yeah just let me, FUCK!” Sydney dropped one of the tests behind the toilet while she was trying to clean up.

Another knock on the door “Hey Sydney, you ok?” “Yeah” Sydney said while crouching down on the floor trying to reach the test, “I’ll be out in a minute I’m just not feeling well” Why the fuck did this fucking test had to fall behind the fucking toilet?  After a few good tries Sydney finally managed to get the test and put it and the second test and box in the bag.

She then grabbed the bathroom trash cans trash bag and stuffed the pregnancy tests inside, and walked out of the bathroom with the bag in hand. "Hey, everything ok?" Carmen said while eyeing the bag.

"Yeah, I'm- I'm just taking out the trash cause the trash was full so..." "OH yeah, you didn't have to I could take it" Carmen said while reaching for the bag. "No! " Sydney shouted while yanking the bag away from his grip.

"I mean, I'll take care of it; it's no problem," Sydney said nervously. "OH," Carmen said while recovering from shock, "So uh... give me a minute, and I'll drive us to work. Ok"

"NO, I mean, i-it's fine; I need to go to the store anyway." Carmen furrowed his brow and said to her in a confused tone, "The store?" "Yeah," Sydney said nervously, "I promised my dad I would get a few things for him before I went to work" "Oh, well, I can take you if you want." Carmen offered.

"No, it's fine." Sydney said, " I don't want to make you late, besides It shouldn't take me too long." "Syd, you sure? I don't mind driving you."

"No, it's fine, you go ahead." Carmen hesitated but left the bathroom. Sydney let out a sigh of relief and started to get ready.

It didn't take her that long to get ready; she quickly freshened up and left Carmen's apartment in a hurry, and arrived at the store. She brought a pack of Clearblue tests and took the train to the restaurant.

Her stomach was in knots the entire train ride, and she couldn't wait to get to the bear and take the tests. As soon as she got to the bear, she quickly bolted into the bathroom, barely saying a word to anyone.

She nervously opened the box and took out the test. She pulled down her pants, sat on the toilet, and peed on the stick.

BANG!

The door opened with a thud, and Sydney dropped the test in the toilet. "RICHIE!!!!!"

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Kicho's Main Story Chapter 8 Part 1

These translations are not intended as a replacement for the game. Please support cybird by buying their stories. SPOILERS under the cut. Expect mistakes.

Warning! This chapter contains scenes of violence and assault. Please read on with caution.

Kicho: "I will lower my weapon depending on your choice."

Mai: "What choice?"

Kicho: "Stay here with me like this."

Kicho: "If you do that, I'll let this guy off the hook."

Mai: "What...?"

His condition stopped me from thinking for a moment, and when I turned around to Mitsuhide, he, too, seemed surprised.

Mai: "Does that mean I'm a hostage?"

Kicho: "No. What I mean is that you'll cut your ties with the Oda army and become one of us."

Kicho: "Stay by my side, Mai."

Mai: "Even if you say that..."

(I can't just betray everyone and switch sides.)

If this was a world where there were no enemies or allies, I would probably jump into happiness.

Those words were the ones I was longing for deep in my heart, but in this situation, they sounded terribly cruel.

Mitsuhide: "Mai. Don't listen to him."

Mitsuhide: "You're the one who brings Lord Nobunaga一No, you're the one who brings luck to the Oda army."

Mitsuhide: "Even if he takes you away, even if he puts his gun down, I'll shoot."

Mai: "Mitsuhide..."

Kicho: "Take her away, huh? Could you say the same if it was her own choice?"

Kicho: "I only made concessions and gave her a choice because she asked for a compromise."

Kicho threw a glance in my direction while keeping his gun pointed at Mitsuhide.

Kicho: “It shouldn’t be a bad deal for you.”

Kicho: “Soon, this Japan will become an even greater hell. But I can protect you here.”

(Hell?)

Mai: “What do you mean by一ugh…”

(What is this? I can’t breathe.)

After staggering around in a daze, I immediately felt something blocking my throat, and I fell to my knees in a panic, unable to breathe.

Kicho & Mitsuhide: “Mai!”

(No, I can’t collapse here.)

My vision was getting dimmer and dimmer, and when I heard a single gunshot, my consciousness faded.

Mai: “Mn...”

Suddenly, I woke up.

(Where am I?)

Moving only my eyes to check, I found myself lying in an unknown room.

The dim light coming through the shoji screen showed that the time was roughly around dawn.

(I think I passed out in front of the trading post, and then一)

As I slowly sat up, trying to remember, I heard the sound of someone entering the room behind the partition.

Mitsuhide: “Mai.”

As soon as Mitsuhide saw my face, he looked a little relieved.

He then quickly came to my bedside and supported me as I tried to raise my upper body.

Mitsuhide: "You're awake. How are you feeling?"

Mai: "I'm fine. My head is a little fuzzy, but that's probably because I just woke up."

Mitsuhide: "I see. Then drink this first. It'll wake you up."

With his arm around my back, Mitsuhide handed me a glass of water with his other hand.

Mai: “Thank you.”

Mai: “Um, what on earth has happened since then?”

(If Mitsuhide is here, that means we somehow got away.)

Mai: “Is Kicho safe?”

Mitsuhide: “Are you worried about his safety?”

Mai: “That’s...Um...”

(It’s weird to worry about an enemy, but I just can’t help it.)

(At least, I hope he’s not seriously injured.)

Mitsuhide: “Don’t give me that look. I’m not accusing you of anything.”

He rubbed my back and then pulled his hand away.

Mitsuhide: “As it turns out, we never captured Kicho.”

Mitsuhide: “As soon as you collapsed, his men rushed out when they heard the commotion.”

Mitsuhide: “My vassals, hiding nearby, came out to shoot at them, but he took advantage of the confusion and disappeared.”

Mai: “I see. Then what about the trading post?”

Mitsuhide: “We took over, but there are a few strange things.”

Mitsuhide: “What the hell were those foreigners doing in the building, and what was that thing you were wearing back then?”

Mai: “Those people were the guests at the party.”

Mitsuhide: “Party? So you wore that thing to match with the guests?”

Mai: “Yes. I was wearing an outfit called a dress.”

(Come to think of it, I’m not wearing the dress anymore.)

Mai: “Did someone change my clothes while I was sleeping?”

Mitsuhide: “Yes, because it looks so uncomfortable.”

Mai: “----!”

(That means he...)

Mitsuhide: “Sorry for bursting your bubble, but I asked the innkeeper to do all the work.”

Mai: “It’s not like I’m thinking of anything!”

(I almost made a rude misunderstanding with a dangerous guy.)

Reflecting mentally, I straighten my posture on the futon.

Mai: “Thank you for everything.”

Mai: “I got sidetracked. So, did anything else strange happen?”

Mitsuhide: “I told you earlier that his subordinates came out to fight back.”

Mitsuhide: “But there were too few of them.”

Mai: “Huh?”

Mitsuhide: “I think the party was meant to attract the eyes of those around him to make it easier for the others to move around.”

Mitsuhide: "I was planning on saving you one step ahead, but maybe everything went according to that man's plan."

Mai: "What exactly is his plan?"

Mitsuhide: "You heard it right before you passed out."

Mitsuhide: "It was to make Japan even more hellish."

BOOM!

Mai: "!"

Suddenly, the sound of explosions erupted from outside.

(It doesn't sound like a normal thing. What's going on out there?)

Mitsuhide: "That sounds bad. This reminds me of something I've heard before."

I ran next to Mitsuhide as he opened the screen door to check outside.

Mai: "Oh no..."

The town, lined with houses, was burning, spewing out thick, black smoke.

Old woman: "Eeeek! What the hell are you planning to do now after coming back!?"

Old woman: "Are you going to take revenge on us after we helped you out so much in the village!?"

Boy: "............" 

Old woman: "Gyaaahhh!"

Old woman: "You, how dare you! You stupid kid!"

Boy: "I won't forgive you."

Boy: "I will never forgive you!"

Merchant: "What the hell is the matter with you people?"

Townsman: "Ha! I can do everything I want, huh? Then I'll do everything until I die."

Merchant: "Gyaaah!"

Townsman: "Ahaha! Yes, this will do."

Townsman: "I hope everyone who hurts me dies."

Kicho: "I see. So it's starting."

Subordinate 1: "It looks like everything went according to plan."

Kicho: "Not yet. What we are aiming for is still ahead. Don't let your guard down."

Subordinate 1: "Yes, sir."

Subordinate 2: "Lord Kicho, the second unit escaped from the trading post."

Subordinate 2: "There's no more evidence left in there."

Kicho: "I see. Thank you."

Subordinate 2: "And this..."

Kicho: "These are..."

Subordinate 2: "I don't know what to do with it, so I brought it with me."

His subordinate handed him the handkerchief and perfume that Mai had left in her room.

Subordinate 2: "Nobunaga's men took Lady Mai, didn't they?"

Kicho: "Yeah."

Subordinate 1: "Taking someone hostage is so cowardly!"

Kicho: "Calm down. As long as they think she's valuable, they won't hurt her."

Subordinate 1: "I understand."

Kicho: "It's time to go."

Kicho put the perfume and handkerchief in his pocket and lightly kicked the horse with his foot.

The horse whinnied and quickly galloped off into the depths of the forest.

Mitsuhide: "Mai! This way!"

Mai: "Y-Yes!"

Leaving the inn with Mitsuhide, I ran frantically through the streets that had been turned into a sea of fire, almost crushed by the crowd of confused people.

BOOM!

(Another cannon! This is the third shot.)

Following the sound of the shot, the sound of houses collapsing and screams can be heard.

Townsman 1: "Hey! The street over there has been hit!"

Townsman 2: "Where the hell are we supposed to run to?"

(This is awful. It's all messed up.)

(Who in the world did this? Oh!)

Mai: "Mitsuhide, over there!"

Mitsuhide: "----!"

I pulled Mitsuhide's sleeve and pointed to the back of the street, where we saw people carrying weapons.

Mitsuhide: "From the looks of it, they're just townspeople rioting."

Mai: "Do you think they were the ones who fired the cannon?"

Mitsuhide: "If so, why do they have cannons?"

Mitsuhide: "To begin with, the number of those weapons is unusual."

Mai: “This is bad. There’s another group over there!”

Mitsuhide: “We’re screwed if we keep getting surrounded like this. Anyway, we need to get out of this town.”

Mitsuhide: “I have my retainers and horses waiting outside, just in case. Can you ride?”

Mai: “Of course.”

Mitsuhide: “Good. Let’s go around here so we don’t run into the rioters.”

Mai: “Okay!”

Mitsuhide and I managed to escape the town and joined his vassals on a path that led us to the top of a cliff overlooking the town.

(There are way more fires burning than before.)

Mai: “This is what Kicho was talking about when he said that Japan will become even more hellish.”

Mitsuhide: “Yeah. I didn’t expect he’d let the people spread the fire he brought in.”

Mitsuhide: “If this continues, Japan will become a sea of fire.”

Mitsuhide: “Mai. Look over there.”

Mai: “That town is on fire too!”

Mitsuhide: “Yeah, that area is probably already overrun with rioters.”

Mitsuhide scowled, his voice barely audible.

Mitsuhide: “So, this is the method he came up with to keep the turbulent world going?”

Mai: “Do you know what Kicho has in mind?”

Mitsuhide: “No, just a speculation.”

Mitsuhide: “But if I were in the same position, I might have thought of it as an option.”

Mitsuhide: "What lies beyond unification is an orderly world and peace for the people, but if you turn it around, the negativity swirling in Japan will ignite."

Mitsuhide: "If that happens, a great force will equalize everything and destroy order."

Mai: "Would you choose to do it even if you knew it would result in the continued loss of precious lives?"

Mitsuhide: "Well, I don't know."

Mitsuhide: "But if you look at this tragedy, you'll see the conclusion he came to."

Mai: "..........."

I bit my lip, unable to help but nod.

I knew that the scene unfolding in front of me was an unshakable fact.

I knew that, but一

------------Flashback------------

【Despite the many sacrifices, those peaceful days were certainly meaningful.】

---------Flashback Ends---------

Kicho's gentle smile, which I felt I could see through his writing, flashed through my mind.

(Did he really want to do this?)

Mai: "There's another fire here too!"

When we went down through the mountains to the village, we found it in a terrible state as well.

(This village is where Kicho and I visited before.)

(Were they attacked by bandits again? Or is there a mob here, too? Hm?)

I spotted two small figures looking absentmindedly at the burning house from a short distance away.

Mai: "You guys are..."

Girl: "Ah..."

Boy: "Big sis."

Mitsuhide: "Mai. Do you know them?"

Mai: “Yes. When I accompanied Kicho to a business meeting, we stopped by this village and met them.”

Mai: “What’s wrong with you two? You’re both so beat up.”

I dismounted from my horse and ran to them when I saw their mud-covered clothes, but the boy shook his shoulders and stepped back.

Boy: “N-No!”

He turned his back, but I could see it.

(It’s not just mud, there’s blood on it.)

Mai: “Hey, are you hurt?”

Boy: “.............”

(Is there something going on they don’t want to tell me?)

(If that’s the case, I don’t think I should force them.)

Mai: “Let me patch you up. I’m worried about you.”

Boy: “But...”

Girl: “You know, we beat the bad guys.”

Boy: “Hey!”

The boy panicked at the girl’s words as she clasped her hands.

(Beat the bad guys?)

I had a bad feeling about it, so I looked back at Mitsuhide, who nodded and walked over to us.

Mitsuhide: “Well, that’s quite brave. But why do you look so sad?”

Boy: “I’m not sad! It’s revenge. Those people deserve to die!”

(Don’t tell me...)

I looked at the blood and the flames engulfing the village, and noticed that no one was running away.

(These kids and the villagers who mistreated them...)

Boy: "This is the right thing to do! If the bad guys are gone, my sister and I can live without hiding."

Boy: "This is the only way!"

Girl: "Big bro."

Tears began to trickle down from the boy's eyes, and perhaps triggered by this, the girl next to him also began to cry out loud.

Mai: "I see."

I held their sobbing little bodies with all the strength I could muster.

------------Flashback------------

Kicho: "They bring nothing but bad luck? Beasts in human form? What do you think you're doing with their precious life?"

Kicho: "Don't you dare f*ck with me!"

---------Flashback Ends---------

(At that time, I'm sure he was putting himself in their shoes.)

I remember Kicho through their crying faces.

(I wonder what he's thinking now after seeing this.)

(I can't stand it if he's suffering right now.)

Mai: "Mitsuhide. Take care of these kids."

Mitsuhide: "Where are you going?"

Mai: "To where Kicho is."

(He's probably over there.)

(It's gonna be okay. I vaguely remember the map.)

I left them both with Mitsuhide and mounted my horse without waiting for his reply.

(To avoid failure, don't step in recklessly, and don't act on your emotions.)

(I remember what Mitsuhide taught me to be careful as a spy.)

(But it's not me, the spy, who's on the way.)

Mitsuhide: "Mai, wait."

Mai: "I'm sorry for being selfish, even though you came to help me, but I have to go now!"

I gripped the reins and pushed forward to shake off all my fears.

(As I thought, they were all gathered here.)

Following my memory, I passed through a cave that served as a shortcut and arrived at the small harbor we once visited and saw several anchored ships.

(I need to find Kicho. Where the hell is he?)

???: "Mai?"

Mai: "Kicho!"

Previous╏Masterlist╏Premium

[naavispider]

Spider stood outside the apartment, trying to calm his pounding heart. Maybe this wasn't as great an idea as he thought. What if Quar - his dad didn't want to see him after all they had been through?

"The uncertainty will drive you crazy. To move forward, you have to try. If he refuses, you will know that this chapter of your life is closed for good. However, if he agrees, you can start over together." - The voice of his therapist, Janine, rang in his head. Spider sighed quietly. At the urging of Norm and the Sullys, he finally agreed to start therapy to work through all the turmoil in his life, and although it did bring some relief, the process itself was not very pleasant. And that's how he found himself at his father's door, with whom he decided to cut off all contact. He nervously adjusted his hair, automatically running his hand over the beads that Tuk had woven into it. "Breathe", he reminded himself and took a preventive puff of his inhaler. "The worst thing he can do is close the door in your face". Finally, with a trembling hand, he rang the bell. "That was it, there was no turning back".

He heard footsteps and a moment later the door opened. Quaritch looked the same but a bit older. Spider noticed more gray hair and more wrinkles around blue eyes wide open with surprise look . They both spent a few seconds just staring at each other, taking in the sight of the other.

"Um...Hi, Dad." He began, mentally cursing his trembling voice.

"Son" The man replied and Spider felt a lump in his throat. Even though he heard that word from Jake's mouth almost every day, it felt like he was hearing it for the first time in 4 years. An uncontrollable smile appeared on his face, which was an attempt to hide his nervousness, even though he had a feeling that it didn't work out well. Quaritch still didn't speak. "Damn, you should have warned him somehow, instead of appearing in front of him without any warning.." He shifted awkwardly, swallowing and saying a quick mental prayer to Eywa that his greatest fears of rejection would not be realized.

"Can I come in?" It took all of his willpower to keep himself from running away as Quaritch mercifully nodded in agreement and Spider almost sighed aloud in relief as he crossed the threshold.

“Sit down,” came the voice of the homeowner. He tried for the last time to put together what he had to say (of course to no avail, as he collapsed due to his nerves) as he crossed the room to carry out the order. He saw Quaritch move out of the corner of his eye and looked up hesitantly. The man was rubbing tattoo. A tattoo that evoked so many feelings in Spider that he couldn't even describe them. His dad caught his eye and immediately stopped, probably not wanting to scare him away. He then took a hesitant position, leaving enough space between them that Spider wasn't afraid to make a move. "Get your shit together, you're an adult and it was your choice to come here, so start a topic". Maybe he should start the conversation with the fact that after years of feeling separate and stupid, he was finally diagnosed with ADHD? Maybe then Quaritch would understand why he's sitting here speechless, as if his brain had shut down.

"This is weird" he focused on honesty. To his relief, his dad laughed lightly.

"I'm sorry for... dropping in."

So that's it, that's all for now because I don't know if it makes any logical sense at all 😅 Spider's thoughts are originally written in italics, but here they are removed, so they are in quotation marks. Sorry for any mistakes, but English is not my first language and I have never written anything like that. If you like it, I can write something more because I have some ideas haha

Jsjshsjjsjs OMG?!!! You wrote JANINE?!!! When I read her name I screAMED 😭😭 of couRSE she’s Spider’s therapist in this au 😭😭 I loved this so much! I was grinning the whole time 😍 Please, if you’d like to write more I would LOVE to read it! 🥰💞💙💞💙

[goodluckclove]

I'm writing a new thing!! I don't really need advice I'm just excited about starting it. They're gay and one of them's a shapeshifter the other has a culturally engrained fear of shapeshifters given that as defenders of the wilderness/ basically very local gods they tend to fuck up anyone who's in their space. I also dong know how to start books which is an issue my beginnings are always weak. How do I start a book. Do I describe the sheep? He's a shepherd btw which I think is fun because the shapeshifter often takes the form of a wolf or coyote. It's also set in a relatively high fantasy setting (no elves and shit just weird magic and a different landscape) that vaguely corresponds to the late 17 or 1800s (they've got some guns i think, they ride horses and trains might exist). How do I start a book. What do I start with. Where do I start. There's no real solid beginning I've got in mind, just a dude trying to take his sheep over a large area on his own. Help please I do actually need advice

Well you see, Ghostie, everyone knows that the first sentence of a novel is the most important part of the entire story. It has to contain the main character's name - in fact, it has to contain the names of every character in your cast - and it has to provoke intrigue and resolve it in a satisfying way without being a too long and jesus christ i can no longer keep up this bit.

I'm annoyed by people who say you need to have a super profound first line. I mean, they're good when they happen. If you can think of one that's great. But if you can't you aren't fucked right off the gate. If your first line isn't something people will get calligraphed onto canvases to hang on the walls of their boring houses (Is this a thing? Did I just make up a type of person to hate?), it doesn't mean your beginning won't be good.

You want to hook the reader. That's what all the guides say, right? They describe a person picking your book off the proverbial shelf and leafing through the first page to see if it's something they'd be interested in. That's solid, but then some go on to make it seem like you have maybe ten words before they either buy the book or toss it across the room in disgust. I'm not saying this is never true. I'm just saying that, personally, that type of person is probably not someone who'd be interested in me or my stories to begin with.

Usually when I'm considering a new book I'll skim the first few pages and then a bit throughout the middle, just to see if I like the prose. I do not put that much weight in the beginning, but it's always a good sign when the general scene feels purposeful. It doesn't have to be a car chase/diamond heist/sex scene/murder. I read someone somewhere saying that you have to start with something exciting and it took like an hour off my life I was so angry.

Here's one out of a billion angles to tackle this puzzle from - where does the story start for you? What is the inciting incident to the inciting incident? This feels like something easy to answer, but oftentimes what you come up with might feel a little inconsequential.

A beginning scene - like, for instance, a prologue centered around only sheep and coyotes - does not necessarily sound interesting on its own. But in a world where shapeshifters usually take on those forms it both sets up the world and establishes a mood. You can play with how much information you give people in the world.

Using my book as an example because I've been watching my editor @hoard-sweet-hoard react to it in real time, at one point he commented that he didn't know if the Eddie in my initial prologue is the same guy as the Edgar in Chapter One. And I was like yeah man that's the whole goddamned point of the book you tiny little king of fools. I wasn't at all that mean. I made a really good sandwich for dinner so I'm feeling extra rowdy. But the point is that I focused less on the action and more on the feeling it would create in the reader.

With that mindset the action doesn't really matter. If it's mundane it can be comforting, or tiring, or numbing, or eerie, or unnerving. If it's far removed from the world we know it can be fantastical and whimsical and sexy, maybe? I don't know. God that sandwich was good. I'm getting really into bagels lately.

Also, from purely the perspective of a writer, you might think of a better beginning midway into the draft. So you can also go back and make a weak start much stronger. You can skip the beginning entirely if it's really fucking with your life. Come back to it later. Who will stop you? Me? I don't even know how to find you. And if I did, you could easily kill me. You have that vibe and I am very clumsy.

Also also start posting excerpts when you get going because that shit sounds rad as fuck.

My bagel had egg and bacon and a hash brown patty and caramelized onion. Man has done a lot of sin, but it is almost neutralized by the insight we once had to caramelize onions. They have a unique flavor that I can only describe as eating the house of a beloved grandmother? Or maybe just the way that house makes you feel?

Yum.

[inkybloom-luv]

Words Unsaid 12, so there's school festivals here too?

Heya guys! Today there's another setup chapter for you cuties! The chapters will come out slower now as I have not yet read chapter 5 completely so please give me time to do so! In the meantime I'd like to know if drabble requests are something you guys would be interested in.

Slight Chapter 5 spoilers!

Part 1 Part 11 Masterpost Part 13

1.5k+ words

♪~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♪

Even though he slept less than usual Jamil felt strangely energetic today. Perhaps it was because he'd slept the best he had in a while or straight up because he woke up next to Inky. It was such a simple thing but he'd be lying if he didn't wish it would happen more, just because of how nice it felt. Is it bad he wished the prefect would have more nightmares only so he could hold her..? Probably. But as it stood, this was the only way he was able to act on his own feelings. Not like he didn't know Inky had feelings for him before his Overblot but he doubted it was love, now that he'd done what he did. Still he hopes and dreams as he stirred the non-proverbial pot of curry in front of him. It was one of the dishes he was making for lunch. He was making something else for Kalim, of course, as Kalim obviously didn't like curry.. but Jamil and Inky could have it, especially since the prefect did say one time she really wanted to eat something Jamil made and admitted in the same sentence that they've been looking to try more foreign food like different curries. Also in that sentence they said that anything Jamil made would be more than satisfactory though.

At the same time that day Kalim was at a housewarden meeting, simply to discuss the future event that would be held soon. The National Arcane Academy Cultural Fair. It was a yearly event mostly consisting of artistic type events like poetry slams, research presentations and, the most well known part of it all, the SDC. The SDC, or Song & Dance Championship, was a contest for singers and dancers, basically any musical talent, to go up on stage, by themselves or in a group, and show their aforementioned talent to the world to show who was the best of the participants that year. The winners would get not only a monetary prize but also a ticket to stardom. Of course that ticket to stardom wasn't exclusive to first place but they had the best chance.

Riddle, who was head of the planning committee was rambling on and on about the details but the report was necessary. Turns out both Vil Schönheit and Neige LeBlanche would be participating this year as well, which meant extra press coverage for the school. Crowley was delighted about this of course and put up audition posters through negotiation with Vil that very same day. They were plastered all over a few notice boards, especially the one in the cafeteria. By lunchtime it was surrounded by people, which had sent Ace, Deuce and Grim to check it out. Inky stayed seated with Jamil and Kalim, though the occasional glance was thrown their way, since she was pally with Kalim as well as Jamil, who had literally tried to off them over the winter holidays that ended recently. Not that Inky really cared.

Unfortunately she did have to tear herself away from the Scarabian duo as she had class duty along with Deuce for the upcoming alchemy lesson and Ace was tagging along to chat. Speaking of Kalim and Jamil, that was where the conversation drifted, though grim did most of the talking.

"Seriously, first he tries to manipulate and kill you and now you're friends? Kinda weird if you ask me" Ace commented.

"Don't call my hench-human weird! Besides, it's not like he hasn't apologized and more. He's been taking care of me and Inky very well, Kalim also..! I think my henchman and I can decide who we, mostly I as a great mage, will spend our time with!"

"Thank you Grim.. I think that gets the point across. Besides.. Jamil is really nice to me, I like him a lot" The two half-students said, one confirming the other.

"What, you're still crushing on the guy? How? He literally gave you a massive scar on your arm, he could have ended you..!" Ace once again protested.

"And again, he apologized."

"You believe that?"

"Yes and you know next to nothing about him so I won't be hearing another word out of you about this..!" The prefect said, anger lacing into her stern tone, sending ace a small glare.

"Alright alright, I'll shut up" He said, though not happy about it. Before their conversation continued though, they were promptly distracted by singing.

"Who's singing? It sounds really nice" Deuce said as they listened, right after though, the singer seemed to choke up on their own voice, which sounded less than healthy. So, with slight concern, the group closed in on where the sounds were coming from, the well in the school courtyard.

Upon approach they met another first year, his name was Epel Felmier. He had lavender hair and blue eyes, his stature was small and skinny but well balanced, his skin was pale too and he spoke in a generally soft voice, unless some sort of accent came out that Inky personally could not place. All went well until they were interrupted by the Pomefiore housewarden Vil Schönheit. He had a regal presence, something like a king or queen in a sense that he was confident and knowledgeable in a few areas. Basically a perfect upperclassman if it weren't for his temper at that moment. Vil was upset that Epel was not training so he wanted to move Epel somewhere else so he wouldn't get interrupted. This went over wrong with Ace as well as Deuce as they misinterpreted Vil's tone and words. The fight that ensued wasn't even that long as Vil was vastly better at his magic than those two unfortunate souls.

The end result was an utter defeat which gave Vil the opportunity to leave with the lavender haired boy. Though not before the latter waved goodbye to Inky as she ushered Ace and Deuce up on their feet to clean themselves up and check for scrapes. She did wave back though. They went to Professor Crewel's lab and classroom, setting up the next lesson with the instruction of the teacher. In the midst of this, another student came in.

This girl was pale as can be and her hair was back length and white. She was rather short as well.

"Hello professor Crewel! I'm here to deliver those late project papers you asked me to go get" Her voice rang through the room as she grinned in a friendly way, waving to the first year trio that was setting up.

"Poor guy was really under the weather, caught a stomach bug or something but he'll be fine. He's over the worst of it according to the nurse, he needs a day or two to recover properly."

"Good girl, thank you for informing me. You have a free period now, yes? Why don't you sit in on the first years and help out? I could use a helping hand to whip these bumbling pups into shape and you're on the school's student tutoring program, so you'd be a good fit." Crewel said, to which the pretty student agreed as he explained what they would be doing during the class period.

It gave Inky the ability to look at her a little more closely. She had facial piercings and some on her ears. The ones on her face were a septum and a lip ring as far as Inky could tell. She didn't wear a blazer, had her sleeves rolled up and her purple vest was open. She wore her white blouse tied up in a way that it would expose her stomach, though not in a war that was inappropriate. She wore a shorter skirt variant at her hips that ended above her knees and flip flops as her footwear. It left a lot of questions as to how she wasn't cold. Then again it wasn't too cold, simply chilly.. she dressed like it was summer though. She had jewelry too, a few rings, a choker and a necklace, an anklet, two bracelets and on her other arm she wore her Pomefiore Armband, except she had it tied more around her wrist than anything, like another bracelet.

That lesson was over quickly, and it was fairly nice. Turns out the student's name was Alani and she helped out around the classroom after having changed into appropriate gear. She was a Pomefiore third year apparently and had heard about the prefect from Leona, whom she visited during spelldrive practice after school occasionally so she could exercise with them. She was good at explaining things and this included her clothing. Apparently she was dressed the way she was because it was usually hot or at least warm here compared to her homeland, which was very far up north. In conclusion the lesson was lovely and after all the cleanup the prefect even managed to get Alani's number, for emergencies or if Inky ever really needed or wanted something.

The rest of the school day went off without a hitch as well, only really starting to pick up the pace when ace and Deuce along with grim decided they would contact this 'Rook' character to get an audition appointment.

♪~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♪

@leonistic

@dove-da-birb

@azulashengrottospiano

@az-flaming-sword

@escaaaaaanyeh

@viperwhispered

@krenenbaker

[ifhymona]

٭* Not Too Late *٭

Chapter 9 | chino moreno x reader

chapter 8 ~ chapter 10 | AO3

2.2k words

a/n: !! PLEASE READ !! the beginning is going back a few days before the gig in case anyone is a confused ! enjoy !

chino’s pov:

it’s been four days ever since my night out at the park with y/n, something’s different about her. there’s this weird sudden change and i don’t know what it is. i catch myself thinking about y/n more than usual now. i needed to talk to somebody about this.

“so you can’t stop thinking about her ever since the night at hot shots?” chi asked me, sitting down on the couch with a bag of chips.

“i mean yeah basically. i don’t know what’s wrong with me man.” i shrugged.

“well why don’t we try something. like a test?”

i scoffed. “a test? man who are you? sonny from a bronx tale?”

“now hold on hear me out first. you guys have known each other since middle school right?” i nodded. “remind her of something about yourself only she would remember and see if she actually does remember. if she does, that’s how you’ll know she’s as crazy about you as you are with her.” chi snapped his fingers. i stared at him. is he serious?

i rubbed my forehead. “chi, i’m confused about my feelings for her. not her feelings for me.”

he laughed and patted my shoulder. “look, just do the test that i told you. if you don’t like mine, make up your own test to make out your feelings about her. you’ll figure it out.”

~

stephen’s caught a cold a week before the gig. so now i’m left at home practicing by myself. except i’m not really practicing. i can’t think straight enough to practice right now.

at first i tried singing but my voice just isn’t sounding good. then i tried writing some lyrics to maybe help clear my thoughts but nothing good came to my mind. all i could think about was chi’s idea. a test huh? the more i thought about it, the more it seemed like a good idea. maybe i should make my own test to figure out my feelings.

it had to be simple though, something i could pull off easily. i thought back to when she kissed my cheek. that was when everything changed. i should just make a test off that.

~

i felt super nervous today since it’s now the day of the gig. y/n was waiting for me to pick her up. i needed something to calm my nerves before i left. i looked over on my kitchen counter and seen a bottle of hennessy staring at me. i sighed and grabbed a shot glass, pouring the hennessy in it. i quickly shot down the glass. the burning sensation in my throat felt good but made me squinch my face. i wonder why i don’t drink this more.

~

it was the perfect time to start my test. i was parked outside of y/n’s house waiting for her. with the help of the shot i took, i felt like i was ready to get over these feelings. that was until y/n walked out of her house.

her legs peeked under her fishnets and her hair was flowing through the wind. her makeup brought out her eyes and her tank top, i couldn’t help but look. it's like she knows exactly what i'm into.

i stared into her long shady eyes as she buckled her seat belt. she turned to look at me, making my heart beat faster. i trailed my eyes down her body. it took all of me to not stare at her for too long but i just can’t resist. she’s got me wrapped around her finger like it’s nothing! who does she think she is having me wrapped around her finger? she broke my train of thought.

"copycat." y/n smirked. "why'd you have to steal my makeup look?" she pushed my chest back. it’s time to put my test into action. i’ll kiss her to see if i feel anything towards her.

"cmon baby, don't do me like that." i leaned into her but to my surprise, she turned away. my heart immediately dropped. ouch. "maybe next time." i smirked hoping i redeemed myself, but in reality, i've never felt more embarrassed in my life. how could she reject me? nobody's ever just turned their head from me ever. this comepletely backfired! god i need another shot now.

~

after the show, me and abe were backstage having some beers together. this whole day, i’ve been drinking shots and beers, whatever i can get my hands on. it helped calm my nerves, especially after what happened with y/n. i shook my head trying to clear the thought.

"so, what's going on between you and y/n?" abe started acting nosy.

"what's it to you?" i chuckled.

"ain't nothing wrong with asking my bandmate how his love life is going." he took another sip of his beer. "its clear you like her." he shrugged.

"do you really think so?" he nodded. maybe abe can help me sort my feelings out. "i don't know man. it's just something about her has just been confusing me lately. earlier i tried to kiss her, hoping i can make out my feelings for her but she rejected me! she turned her head and rejected me!” i took a swig of my beer after remembering my harsh rejection.

abe laughed. "man cmon, you gotta be way more forward than that."

"hey i was already pretty forward. besides, i don't wanna do anything she doesn't wanna do." which was true. i'm not mad at her for rejecting me. i was mad at myself for even trying.

"well what about the night at hot shots?" abe reminded me. i didn't wanna tell him about our night in the park.

"what about the night at hot shots?" i played dumb.

"you know what i mean." a devilish smile grew on his face. "did you pin the tail on the donkey?"

"you're a freak, man." i scoffed and rolled my eyes but couldn't help but laugh. "i just dropped everybody off afterwards."

"don't lie!" i didn't want abe to think i haven't gotten any play from y/n. so i fudged the truth a little bit.

“i’ll admit, we did make out a bit. but to be fair we were pretty drunk and she wanted to.” i took another swig of my beer. i kind of felt bad lying on y/n's name. i don’t even know why i’m doing this in the first place.

abe smiled at me but i knew he wanted to say something. "what?"

"i don't know, man. usually i'd believe you but this time, i don't." he shrugged.

"what's different this time?"

he smirked. "this time, i know the girl." he stood up reaching his hand out to me. "cmon dude, let's go find everybody else." he helped me up and we walked out to the front together.

when i looked to my right, there was y/n sitting at the bar laughing. there’s never been anybody with a more geniune laugh than her. when i looked past y/n, there was ethan, the one making her laugh. my heart dropped suddenly. i didn't feel too good anymore.

i'm assumming abe noticed because he said, "yikes, there goes your girl." he chuckled before patting my back and walking away.

i couldn't stare at them any longer. if i kept looking at ethan, i definitely would've socked his face in. god, he's so unbearable to look at.

stephen, chi and abe were all standing around the table taking shots. "chino, man get your ass over here and take some shots!" stephen yelled at me.

without hesitation, i walked over and downed one. why was i so hung up over y/n talking to ethan? it’s not like we’re together. i hope all this alcohol will help me forget.

~

the drive home with y/n was awkward for me. i wasn’t sober to say the least. i was brimming with liquid courage. the urge to just pull over and pull her on top of me was all i wanted. what the fuck am i thinking man?

at this point, i was dying inside being right next to her. i’ve never felt like this before. i always just banged the chick and went onto the next. that’s really all i’ve ever known since becoming famous. why were things so different with y/n?

we sat there in silence once we parked in front of her house. i needed to finish this test before she leaves. i needed to kiss her. i wanted to kiss her.

“was i good or bad tonight? be honest.” i asked, trying to clear my thoughts.

she smiled at me. my chest grew warm. “you were good, chino. i loved watching you up there.” my heart quickly dropped along with her smile.

“what’s wrong?” i frowned.

“nothing.” she shrugged. what’s suddenly gotten into her? something was clearly wrong with her. i had to get it out her, or else i’ll lose sleep tonight.

“y/n, i can just feel that something is wrong with you.”

“do you know it though?” she’s so stubborn.

“yeah i do.” i glared at her for a moment. “what’s wrong?”

“why did you say that me and you made out when we didn’t?” i didn’t know she heard me. im such an idiot. of course i wouldn’t get away with lying. what made it worse was abe didn’t even believe me. “i mean cmon chino! you even made it seem like you didn’t even want to. do you know how shitty that felt to hear?” i didn’t realize how bad it sounded now thinking back to it.

“look y/n i don’t know why i said it. i just did. abe didn’t even believe me.”

“really? that’s your excuse chino?” she gave me a death stare.

“excuse? i’m being hone-“ she cut me off before i can even finish.

“whatever chino. i don’t want to talk about it.”

i couldn’t help but laugh remembering her talking to ethan at the bar. “do you know how embarrassing it was for me to see you basically flirting with ethan smith in front of abe?”

“what are you even talking about? ethan was the bartender! i didn’t embarrass you, you embarrassed me! and even if i was flirting with ethan, why does it matter to you?”

“because you’re min- my friend!” i changed my impulsive sentence very quickly. i hope she didn’t hear that but knowing y/n, she probably did. this has been one rough night. i didn’t want her to think of me the wrong way. i needed to explain myself. “i’m drunk and just told abe what he wanted to hear. i’m sorry, y/n, really. i’m serious about abe not believing me. i’d never lie to you y/n.”

she looked lost in thought for a second. her hair laid perfectly along her shoulders. her lips were pink and plump. her skin looked as soft as silk. she looked perfect right now. sometimes i wish i could stare at her for hours without her catching me. “i guess you’ll just have to make it up to me.”

“so am i forgiven?” i pouted.

“yes chino, you’re forgiven.” she smiled at me. i felt a wave of relief. her smile helped put me at ease again.

~

i’m a fucking horny mess. my heart was beating like crazy. never have i felt like this after sex. let alone making out!

i pulled over to the side of the road. i needed to calm down. my mind was racing. it was hard to focus on one thought. y/n had me in an absolute daze.

y/n and her hands all over me. the way she smelt of honey and cocoa butter. i could still smell her on me. i rubbed the bulge in my pants trying to calm myself down. i couldn’t stop thinking about all the noises she made just by me touching her. how soft her legs were and how sweet her lips tasted.

in my peripheral vision, i spotted the polaroid i took of her. i grabbed it from the cup holder and stared at it. i could feel myself growing nervous just from looking at her picture.

why are you taking over my life!?

then it was like something snapped inside of me. like all the dots connected. i like y/n. i really like her. i mean it only makes sense. why else would i be obsessing over her like this? chi was right. maybe my test did work after all.

i stared at her photo. my chest grew warm

just looking at her smile.

i breathed out heavily. i felt bad for what i was about to do, but i needed to get off some how. besides she’s the one who got me like this in the first place.

i put her photo off to the side and slowly unzipped my pants.

~

i got home still unsatisfied. i immediately turned on the cold water in my shower. just the thought of y/n got me hard. especially the thought of what we could’ve done if we weren’t interrupted. i felt like a loser hung up over her like this. the fact that still almost two hours later, i’m still masturbating because the first time wasn’t enough? this is the most humbling experience i’ve ever gone through.

i turned off the water and wrapped the towel around my waist once i finished. i walked to my dresser and spotted the polaroid of her again. “she’ll pay soon.” i wouldn’t let her get away with getting me this horny. i put the polaroid in the crevice of my mirror. hopefully waking up to her photo will make my days better.

a/n: i hope everyone enjoyed todays chapter ! chapter 10 will be posted next friday. lots of love <3

[erisenyo]

Hello! You're like, the only author on ao3 who writes their stories in advance and who I follow, so excuse my whining here, please. Does it ever happen to you that you have a (conversation about the Thing here) in the first draft, and you just can't get around it? Because I'm feeling it very much myself and this is the first time I'm not doing chapter by chapter chaos and... well, I am missing the comments and losing the spirit. This convo is the base of all the other missing stuff, even if I try to move on, I'm still practically writing that one and. It shuts me down. Any ideas? Sorry for bothering you!

Hello anon!

So if I'm understanding your question right (and definitely let me know if I'm not!), you're asking how to plow through a stuck scene without the motivation and inspiration from the comments of posting as you go.

Which is a real struggle that I very much sympathize with! And I potentially have two answers, depending on if it's the stuckness that's getting you, or more the feedback side of things.

And in typical me-style, this answer is long, so I am putting it below a cut lol

On being stuck on a scene--if I truly can't get past it, it seems bogged down and boring and I'm just not excited for it anymore, I have a few strategies:

My tried and true is to go back 10ish lines or a few paragraphs before, even to the start of the scene, because a lot of times what I'm getting stuck on is that the scene needs a different narrative framing or lead-in (usually, for me, just starting more in the middle of things instead of giving all the exhaustive lead-in)

Sometimes a scene/convo flows better for me if I set it in a different location, between a different mix of people, or if I put some sort of action around it (a conversation between Sokka and Zuko about something purely plot-based can layer in lots of fun characterization if suddenly it's occurring while Zuko is trying to do work and Sokka is trying to get him to eat lunch at the same time)

A POV switch! Sometimes my current narrator is just the wrong one for this scene, because they know too much or not enough (I usually prefer the narrator who knows the least, so they can be learning along with the reader)

Sometimes I realize I don't actually need the scene, I just need to have the characters to reference or react to it after, and as long as I know that ABC happened I don't actually have to write it all out. (This can help make the pacing feel faster, too, and sometimes it feels easier and more interesting to fold the references and reactions into later scenes than to actually write it all out)

Specifically for exposition or something that's feeling infodumpy, finding ways to weave the information into other scenes can be really helpful. When I wrote To Open Every Door I worked a LOT at this, and I essentially ended up sketching out a chapter, having a list of like 10 or 15 or however many things I needed to convey by the end of the chapter (to establish worldbuilding, the status of interpersonal relationships, background, whatever), and then going through my rough draft and finding ways to drop those pieces into a character's reactions and thoughts, to fold them into dialogue, to have OCs saying things, basically weaving the exposition across the chapter instead of delivering it all at once

Talking it out! Literally just articulating what feels off or weird about a scene to someone (or like, your cat, or yourself) often helps me narrow in on what needs fixing, or start to form an idea on how to make it flow better (Thanks Ash lol, your support is invaluable even when you insist you did nothing)

This one is kind of silly, but...try working in a different format! I write in Word, but I plan out my outlines in a table, and brainstorm with bullets, and when I'm stuck I often break out Excel. Seeing the information laid out differently on the page helps me quite literally see it differently in a way that can help me think about it differently, too

And if at the end of all that I'm still stick...do I really need the scene? If so, why? What work is the scene doing (emotional, plot, characterization, worldbuilding, etc.)? A lot of times, understanding the purpose of the scene helps me figure out how best to convey the info, whether its another scene, a different version of the scene I'm stick on, or by refocusing the scene around some other element that's more exciting (like switching the plot into the background behind some characterization or interpersonal moment, or vice versa)

That was a lot! But if what's really got you losing momentum is the lack of feedback--that's totally understandable too! Writing can be a lonely endeavor, so some things I do...

Find a buddy to share it with, whether a hype man or a listening ear! Even if it's just on anon, feeding off of someone else's reactions and excitement can help me get excited and enthusiastic too

Did your commenters speculate and get excited for what was next in a way you found inspiring? Is there a way to replicate that by talking at a higher level about what you're writing so that people can get hyped for the scenario or talk about how it could go, or just add tags to a post that generate energy?

You can post updates along the way, like lines you're excited about or little scene snippets, or just talking about the fic in the tags where it fits. It can be a way to get little bits of feedback and engagement along the way (Meesh always with the eagle eye for my tags whenever I'm rambling about fics haha)

Share the things you're excited about! Whether it's a particular scene, a character dynamic, a trope, a bit of worldbuilding--it's a great way to find people who will get excited along with you, and it also helps me to focus on what got me wanting to write the fic in the first place. Sometimes I'm not the most enthused about writing another post-canon get-together requiring a bunch of setup exposition, but then I think about how fun the Zuko-Mai bestie dynamic will be, or the ridiculous angst of the boys pining for that one night stand they had at that masquerade that they don't realize is each other, and I get enthused all over again haha

And relatedly--hone in on what excites you about the story! Even if you don't share it, is there a scene you can't wait for? A particular interpersonal dynamic you can't get enough of? A twist or reveal you can't wait to share? Focusing on those exciting bits can help me keep my enthusiasm going

Mix up where you write--I rotate between writing on my commute, in my house in various locations, and in a coffee shop basically depending on how social I am feeling on a given day. If you're feeling a bit alone in the writing, maybe it would help to write in a library or cafe or park, or if you're feeling distracted maybe you need a quieter place, or pure just change of setting in general!

Maybe you post it! For me I need to write everything out beforehand, because the serialized posting format makes me hate writing in all ways, and also I get a lot of ideas as I go, where my first drafts very truly are working drafts and it's not uncommon for me to pause in the middle of like, Ch 12 to go back to Ch 2 to lay the groundwork for a scene, and then to Ch 5 to add the setup for a joke I'll land in Ch 14. (Or for me to realize as I edit that I included scenes with absolutely no follow-up that I can now add haha). But that approach isn't for everyone, and maybe you write a few chapters at a time and post them week to week, or maybe you post what you have now to get through this scene and then go back to writing all the rest out. Just cause you started thinking you'll write it all first doesn't mean you have to stick with it if it's not working and something about posting would shake you out of it!

That was...probably way more ideas than you wanted or needed, but let me know if any of them help! I'm crossing my fingers for you!

[wydstepcat]

Me venting a bit. (My personal experiences with Chiaki, and the fandom's perception of her.)

(Posted on Reddit as well, so my bad if some wording is a bit off.)

Hi everyone.

I wanted to make this post to let out some steam and to sort out my mind, and maybe some people here can relate/feel the same.

I want to start off by saying that in no way am i directly targeting someone with this post, or people who have some sort of differing opinion on her, you are allowed to dislike Chiaki, i just feel that the fandom is really downplaying her character.

Anyway, let's start with my initial reactions to Chiaki in both DR2 and DR3. My very first impressions of her was very... Eh. On the very surface to me she looked like a "waifubait" type character, really just made to make specific anime fans happy. I was wrong. I was SO wrong. Those feelings began to change around 2-4, when she became a lot more active and made her presence a lot more well known. The moment where i was like "Please don't die" was during the moment Chiaki convinced Hajime NOT to go in the final dead room. 

It was also during those chapters where i started with her FTE's (although i was kinda late, and i never had the time to finish it). 2-5 was THE moment i shed my first tear in the series, the way they built it up, how the survivors reacted to it, Usami's last words, Sonia's Rebuttal Showdown. it became the most memorable moment in the series for me. And after finishing it a day later, 2-6 extended that.

So, great right? That alone gave me a pretty damn good reason to make her my favorite character just for memorability alone. a few days later i started watching DR3. I was already semi-spoiled by her fate thanks to youtube, but i never watched the full execution to keep that a surprise for me still, good lord, somehow DR3 EXPANDED everything i love about Chiaki and more. Her sense of acting more "human". her friendship with Hajime, and Chisa, just. All of it. And I KNEW the writers knew, which is why they gave her such a cruel fate.

So, those where my initial reactions of Chiaki, and after finishing V3 i was finally unshackled from the horror called spoilers. It was also around this time i started becoming an actual fan of the entire series in general. I made my DR oriented Twitter account, i joined r/danganronpa, and began reading fics (Extra Life is one of the best DR related fan projects i've ever read, seriously.)

But, something was off. It seems to me that a lot of people didn't share a lot of the same things i felt. Now of course, i'm fine with that you know? People have differing opinions so i don't expect everyone to feel the same as me, but some where like, outright hostile or completely slandering the character, like "Chiaki was meant for fans to masturbate over" or "DR3 Chiaki is a character that shouldn't even exist in concept", and even in appreciation posts she gets shit on in the comments. Which is like, so weird to me, a lot of attention was put into making Chiaki such a subtle character, from the way she was written in both DR2 and DR3.

I felt completely and utterly alone in this for a while, and it made me feel really sad. It was not too long after where i met some people on tumblr chat, i prefer to keep their names anonymous, but they as well felt very similar to the things i was feeling, and we started to talk more. I learned they had their own server to vent about stuff like this, and we've been talking a lot more since. One of them told me that around 2017, they outright ditched the entire fandom altogether, and really only talk DR with the people they know. The other has pretty much ditched reddit and moved on to other social media websites, deemed a lot safer to communicate Danganronpa with. I've talked with some artists as well, who weren't even aware this was "still" happening.

So, that begs the question. I've seen a LOT of people straight up hating her, even outside reddit. Why does she keep being so popular? If i'm right, r/ultimategamer has THE most members out of ANY DR Character, she was placed #2 at the official character poll, and probably even more that i forgot to mention. 

Am i wrong about this? Do people really praise her for the character she is? It can't just be because of her looks right? There has to be more than that, right?

I left that subreddit yesterday. I decided that it does not offer any value to me other than the fact that Danganronpa Kirigiri got fully translated. And really, it feels like constant negativity and "unpopular opinions/tierlist" posts.

...That's all i wanted to say. I also want to make it clear that aside from SOME characters, I really like almost every single one lf them, flaws and all. I've become a lot more cynical on the franchise lately, like the negatives of DR3 overpowering the positives, and becoming a lot more hostile and negative as well. I hope that stepping away for a bit will improve it. I hope that anyone reading this felt some sort of relatability in regards to this, it would make me pretty happy to know I'm not alone in this.

[pancake-breakfast]

It's hot. I'm hoping for chibi Livios to make things feel better.

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 11, Chapters 3-4 below.

Chapter 3: The Noise of Thunder

Good to see these people are giving Luida credit for her knowledge now.

They think they're gonna be saved... but yeah, the ark and Knives are definitely a threat right now. We'll see how that goes....

Awww, Vash looks happy! Excited, even.

Ohhhh, Luida's not happy that he expended more of his power.

Awww, Livio looks all depressed and sad again. Someone look after this man.

Ah, everyone's favorite question right now. And, of course, there's no helping it. When your right hand is suddenly gone, people who know you are bound to have questions.

!! My boy Livio was gonna just fess up right there, set himself up to take all their ire and sadness and frustration so Vash didn't have to deal with the question. He was gonna step up and do his best to handle it himself!

I have mixed opinions on Brad's response. I get what he's trying to do, but the truth of these things has a way of coming out. I guess at least it will allow the girls some time to get to know Livio first.

Heh. He's not fooling Milly. She knows something bad happened.

He has no right and he knows it, but I kinda want Livio to just give Milly a hug right now and tell her he's sorry. I don't know if she'd put it all together from that, but she'd hug him back and they could both use the comfort right now.

The ark isn't looking so good right now. Is that from Vash's backlash in the last volume?

Wooooooorms.

Zazie doesn't look super-happy with Knives right now.

Hahahaha, I was wondering how Zazie got injured.

It seems strange that a world like this would have weird little toy figurines. Then again, Nightow made this world, so maybe it's strange that there aren't more of them.

Awww, it's Vash's old personal effects!

RIP Bernardelli HQ

Oh, goshdarnit. It's Legato's stupid token collector.

I like that Milly was somehow the one who found the two from Hoppered and Midvalley. Good for her.

Hahahahaha, Twolives cameo.

Meryl gets it. Legato's game is dumb. Vash thinks Legato's game is dumb. He's right.

I love the subversion of the trope with the coins. It could have been Villain of the Week, but Vash didn't want to play, and so the coins got brought up here and there, but not because he was specifically hunting them. It's only now, so much closer to the end of the game, that he both realizes their importance and even has them on-hand.

I wonder if perhaps they're important to Elandira and can be used to just... pay her off. She seems pay-off-able, if one somehow were to find something she valued.

Vash isn't wrong. Legato's much too invested to let things happen without being there himself if he has any ability to do anything about it.

Aww, Livio. Please don't tell me you're trying to wash off the marks on your face from Razlo. I get it, but... it's ok, buddy. It's ok.

Oh, he finally noticed his hair is a mess. I think it's cute all sticking up like that, but yeah, it could probs use a comb and such.

Livio... let Brad finish peeing before you chat him up, maybe?

Brad, you're making Livio feel emoshuns. He's probably lived a long time trying to kill them all, and now he has too many. Let's hope what you told him helps him sort a few of them out, gives them some direction.

Livio looks a lot beefier now that he's wearing casual clothes instead of his bondage gear. What's up with that??

Heh, it's not gonna do anyone any good if the people left on Noman's Land go all civil war on each other in this.

Good job, Luida. Tell it like it is.

Vash, trying to not be a burden, getting called out on it by the gunsmith. Good job, gun guy.

It's a nice way of saying, "You're 150 years old, for crying out loud. Time you learned a bit about interpersonal relationships, dumbass."

Awww, he made Vash cry. Vash isn't used to recognizing how much other people care about him... and right now, he's in a mental state where it's unavoidable, and he doesn't know how to process.

Uhhhh... what went boom??

Worms??

Legato???? I swear, this boy always looks sleepy.

Ohhhh, shit. He's graduated from his bagworm state. This is bad.

Chapter 4: Return of the Wicked

Lemme guess; "the wicked" is Legato. Am I right? Do I get a prize?

Awww, Zazie has a giant butterfly worm!

Dang, it looks like it takes an act of willpower for Knives to pull himself up into physical form away from his sisters at this point.

Knives: "I want to be left alone." Also Knives: *probably dealing with the collective consciousnesses of all the Plants he's absorbed and thus never alone*

LOL, Zazie called him out on it. That's what I get for not having read the next panel yet.

Meh, I call shenanigans. Zazie doesn't want to help. Zazie wants to complicate.

Aww, baby Knives!

Adult Knives looks even more tired than he usually does. Not to be confused with Legato's sleepy look. Legato looks like he just woke up from a nap and is still in that state between sleeping and waking. Knives looks like he's forgotten what sleep is.

Hahahahahaha, see? Shenanigans. Zazie just wanted to distract Knives for a bit so they could screw Knives over. No wonder Legato went apeshit on them.

The keywords to summon forth Legato have been spoken! Or... rather... thought.

Yep, Zazie's doing Zazie things. Zazie says, "Fuck you, personally, Knives."

Aaaand they're unzipping their pants. I've seen this scene and I'm not ready to see it again.

Ewwewwewwewwewwewweww THAT IS NOT A POCKET FOR STORING MORE WORMS IN, ZAZIE!!! *shuddershuddershudder*

Somehow, I don't think this is quite gonna work out for Zazie.

Ah, there he is.

Wait, are we getting explanation for Legato's powers?

Elandira looks pleased.

Yep, Legato's free of his little iron maiden. About freaking time. Ohhhh, gods, I'm gonna eat those words.

Yeah.... He's definitely terrifying, girl. The scariest thing in this series apart from (arguably) Knives himself. At least with Knives, it's not personal... but with Legato, it's almost always personal.

Ah, I was wondering if the scrapes were there for a reason other than aesthetics.

Gratuitous shirtless Legato shot. How the hell did he keep his body fit while in that cocoon? Was he, like, applying little electroshock impulses to his muscles to keep them toned the whole time??

Aww, he's even got his old outfit back.

Is it really Legato if he isn't grinning like a madman?

Ohhh, shit. Looks like Knives is about to join the fight. Or... something.

Vash's twin sense is tingling.

I like how the way he has the bullets and everything set up kinda looks like a miniature city. Maybe he's using them to strategize?

Well, that's one way to make your own bullets.

Aww, man! I knew the haircut was coming, but I kinda hoped he'd just grow it out more evenly instead.

I don't know much about DID. Is it... good to treat the alters as separate individuals like that??

The separating out of the name Chapel. They don't mean Chapel-Chapel. They mean Wolfwood.

Whooooo the crap is this, and how is it that their timing was so perfect? Were they just listening behind the door, waiting for this conversation to come up??

Glad to see Vash is also confused.

Archive

Trigun Vol. 1: Covers + 1-3, 4, 5-6, 7-8, 9-10 || Vol. 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8

TriMax Vol. 1: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 2: Covers + 1, 2-4, 5, 6-7 || Vol. 3: Covers + 1-3, 4-5, 6-7 || Vol. 4: Covers + 1-2, 3-5, 6-7 || Vol. 5: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 6: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 7: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 8: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5 + Bonus || Vol. 9: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 10: Covers + 1-3, 4-5, 6-8 || Vol. 11: Covers + 1-2

Extra Credit: Trigun Vol. 1: Nebraska vs. Vash's Motivations, Vash's Loneliness, Vash's Depression (pt. 2 of post), Soupy Brains || Vol. 2: Coin Factoids || TriMax Vol. 1: Lina, Vash, and a Haircut || Meryl, Vash, and the Pursuit of Happiness || Vol. 5: Knives, Vash, and Hatred for Humanity || Vol. 6: Coping Series: Wolfwood, Meryl, Vash || Vol. 8: The Uncoordinated Counterattack || Vol. 9: Justice, Punishment, and Mercy, The Tolling of an Iron Bell || Vol. 10: Crucifixion Symbology (pt. 2 of post), Merging of Families, Being Childlike (And Why God Hates Chapel)

[limerental]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💕💗

I have a few of these sitting in my inbox because I have had such trouble deciding tbh but time to stop being indecisive!! i have posted 210 fics (!!!) on ao3 since i got it in 2017 and I like basically all of them because they are a thing I created and put into the world so it's very difficult to choose.

lilacs and dandelions

this was my first longfic, my first oneshot that got away from me, my first serially published I actually finished, and in general one of the first yennskier fics that really took off in the fandom, and it was really deeply fun and indulgent to write and had some great engagement at the time. so even if it's not my best crafted fic and there are things I would change or do differently or expand on, it's forever one of my faves.

2. how light carries on

this is the sequel to my weird 80s trucker mcd fic and is actually more special to me than the first part (though the first part's up there too). just the way it handled the life after loss messy parts of grief are deeply personal and important to me, and i'm still really pleased with the structure and tone of the fic.

3. in the city of golden towers

i poured a lottttt of silly goofy energy into this fic and its sequel and honestly I love them so dearly and fringilla & cahir's dynamic in them and those versions of these charactes will live forever in my brain. i think they can be enjoyed even if you didn't like s2 of twn because I tried to bring their characters at that point toward book canon (jossed by s3 of course). the sequel to this includes the hansa and the lodge and is a book canon fix-it and is really silly but serious and. idk like 5 people have actually read it wahh

4. then send down the storm

i can't say whyyyy my singular lambert/aiden fic sticks in my head so strongly but i'm still really pleased with this one and return to read it often. i'm not a huge lambert person and barely ship this (unless it's very good) but something about this fic (and of course some_star's original "prequel" which you should also read!) keeps sticking with me

5. caught now in two minds

to rec a non-witcher fic just because i posted the first chapter of this exactly a year ago(!!), this is the steddie fic that gripped me for several months last year and that actually turned into something really fun and deep and cool and unique within the fandom i think.

honestly this was really hard don't make me do this again