#like. this may as well happen. my life is weird enough already so why not

[tbgkaru-woh]

100 Dialogue prompts

Trying this out (feel free to tweak out any grammatical errors) so writers who are bored, have at it! ♥ Mix of Fluff, Angst and Smut

“I don’t see you that way”

“I will just do as I’m told. As I’ve always done”

“Have you never ridden a bike/horse before?”

“You don’t have to be so…formal”

“What happened to us?”

“Good things don’t happen to me”

“Interested in palm reading?”

“Bowing to you felt right”

“There, let me help you.”

“Next time, listen to yourself and not me”

“Why do you want to get in trouble so badly?”

“It’s him/her…isn’t it?”

“Are you keeping it?”

“Good to see a familiar face”

“You never had to ask me anything, let alone beg”

“Oh you again?!”

“I need to take you somewhere”

“With you gone, everything went wrong”

“Insufferable, see you at dinner”

“I wasn’t kissing you, I was saving your life!”

“You did all this already, why not finish the job?”

“I will look for you”

“I couldn’t see anything, I couldn’t breathe”

“You knew about it?”

“I will atone for what he/she did”

“You need to start having some faith.”

“Say what you want, I know what I’m feeling is right”

“It’s okay, you will move on. We will move on.”

“How much do you miss him/her? And what if you didn’t have to?”

“Focus on my hands, on my voice…”

“Perhaps you need to be reminded where you belong”

“I was fine having a non-sexual relationship with you, but instead I’m having non-relationship sex with him/her.”

“I wanted to do it for you and in hindsight it was a terrible idea”

“I’ve been inside him/her more than outside him/her”

“Don’t ask me with ‘please’, you’re paying me”

“Oh why won’t you just die already”

“Sometimes I wonder for how long have you wanted his/her heart and if you will ever stop”

“Filthy cheater, we go again!”

“Didn’t you pay your debt already?”

“I can’t get sick/injured.”

“You act like you’ve never been defeated”

“Diamond thrown into the trash still has the value of a diamond”

“I got engaged”

“All this was decided for me, I had no choice”

“I’m beginning to think not even the jail guards/cops want you around, given how many times they’ve let me bail you out”

“You, sir/madam, should watch your alcohol intake”

“I’ve been denying everyone, you’re not special”

“I’m not looking for a romance”

“Isn’t that immoral enough to tempt you?”

“We’re two sides of the same fucked up coin”

“That’s what I like to see, you are your parents’ best indeed!”

“You have nothing to lose right?”

“Oh I can’t wait to hear you sing”

“Anything you’d like to add to the conversation?”

“Hi.”

“You need to stop making me pick you up in places someone may see”

“I thought I was a puppeteer pulling the strings but instead I was a back seat audience”

“I want names, I want addresses, I’m gonna make them pay.”

“You know where to find me if you ever want me again.”

“My mother is visiting in like 5 minutes”

“Is it that, or is it because you’re in love with me?”

“Not being able to reciprocate has been the hardest part of my life”

“Did you kill someone?”

“Envious of my youth, are we?”

“The others may have gotten away…”

“I found you. Found you looking like you didn’t want to be found”

“Did we use to be a thing?”

“I can fix this. I can fix this…”

“Weird question, are you a supernatural being? Be honest”

“We should have never played Gods”

“Must you be so harsh with me all the time?”

“What did all these men/women do to deserve you?”

“We have a reputation to uphold”

“May I have this dance?”

“I am a bad influence on you!”

“Let’s make history”

“Who the hell wants to live forever.”

“Feeling any different?”

“Time waits for no one”

“You got your happy-ever-after. And for all I know, it’s because I didn’t.”

“Try that again and you’re gonna lose it”

“Didn’t I say one of these days you’re gonna be the death of me?”

“Do you know what my answer was?”

“You look pathetic.”

“Almost didn’t recognize your voice when it’s not yelling at me”

“I often find myself talking to those no longer here as well”

“Excuse me, this is not a buffet”

“I don’t suspect you because I’m the one who put him/her in the ground”

“You look like someone who likes a good gamble”

“I am poison”

“Feel free to stay as long as you need”

“You don’t need to understand, just be a good little thing”

“I’m gonna need your driver’s license, your ID and your phone number please~”

“Say my name”

“You…are telling the truth”

“Is that why you did that? Back there?”

“Stop reading my mind”

“I can teach you”

“How can you laugh?”

“Pretty pictures. I don’t have any”

“Heaven may fall, but __ can’t die.”

[gffa]

Laughing my ass right off at Bo-Katan’s never ending terrible, horrible, no good, very bad time, like in the span of about a fucking week, she has: 

Din Djarin come knocking on her door and she has to deal with his quest to find the living waters as he prods every emotional bruise she still has about all the Mandalorians abandoning her

Din gets himself snared by some weird eyeball in a jar in a robot body so the weird green baby has to come tell her to rescue him

Which she does and then falls into the Living Waters with him and possibly sees a Mythosaur making her question her sanity

Then her fucking childhood home gets blown up by Imperial remnants, just one more reminder that everything she was gifted she has lost, that she has failed her family’s legacy one more time

So sure why not, let’s go join the group she doesn’t actually believe in and called a cult just last season, but they’re reasonably nice to her and she’s good at fighting, so actually they’re pretty cool

But she’s still quietly freaking out that she may have seen a mythical legendary creature like is she LOSING HER FUCKING MIND HERE??? 

And how the fuck do you eat without taking your helmet off??

Suddenly she’s being pushed into leadership of the war party, but it’s not bad, she got to stay by the fire, and it’s nice to be useful, even if she still feels out of sorts.

And then even more suddenly she’s being told she walks both worlds, that she needs to unite Mandalore one more fucking time

LET’S GO KICK SOME PIRATE ASS!!!11!

So sure why the fuck not.  WHY THE FUCK NOT.  Let’s go to some decked out vacation planet in the middle of Bumfuck Outer Rim

Let’s take a stupid as shit detour into finding some malfunctioning droids with a guy who has unresolved droid-related trauma and literally KICKS THE DROIDS just to be a dick so they’ll react, 

Like Bo-Katan Kryze doesn’t have enough shit to deal with, every time she has to stop and deal with some absolute clown buffoonery, she’s reminded that she’s in full clown wig and makeup herself, this is her fucking life now and I was LAUGHING MY ASS OFF ABOUT IT THE ENTIRE TIME, Bo-Katan’s life is just one long string of, “Life is already so goddamned weird, this might as well happen.” I love you, babe, but I also love your long suffering face as you have to deal with being in a Star Wars show.

[dairy-farmer]

Is me~ back to haunt you Ask Box o/ because I just had A Thought(tm)

What if~? The OPPOSITE of my Magic Sex Toy idea? Uno Reverse?

But how would that even work? You say. Tim would very obviously notice!

Oh ho ho~ ye of little Faith! *slaps my "join the Church of Civilian Tim" poster I obviously made myself* CONSIDER! Not a cape! Semi-stable schedules!

We open our scene with stalking. As ya do. Tim would prefer you call it "bird watching" or "observing the night life" but... let's be real here. Stalking. He's getting them NICE Premium Pics for his Definitely-Not-A-Stalker-Shrine. There's a newbie on the scene. A gaudy robe wearing mofo.

3 guess what HIS shtick is. First two don't count.

But! Thing is? Tim is no long a wee baby faced pre-teen. He is a Man(tm). Legally, twice over. And well... you find a LOT if Neat Late Night Shops running after the bats. He may have been persuaded by CERTAIN libidos that maybe he should check them out. Who can say? You can't prove ANYTHING. These bags are groceries and no you can't check..

Where was he? Ah, right, Pics of the Nightwing booty. *click*

Tim forgets Rule Number 1.5: ALWAYS keep an eye on what the villian is doing.

By the way... what that bright light? Oh, just a SPELL BOLT. Fuckin DODGE, MAN!

He fails to dodge.

🥺 H-His camera... Night-booty... Also why does he feel? Tingly? He doesn't stick around to figure it out. Grabs his TRAGICLY dead camera and bolts. Not getting caught at the scene of the stalking TODAY, no sir! Batmans definitely gonna check the area and he SHANT be there! Early night it is!

He gets back to his apartment. Still feels tingly... but less? Maybe those charms he looked up how to make protected him after all. Still, shouldn't push his luck, you know? He settles in for the night. Gets a warm shower.

Comes out and eyes the bags he dropped by the bed... and... well...

He DID wrap up early~ Maybe treat for Timmy time. He digs them out.

Weird.

They? We're already pretty life like (it's why he bought them) but... when he TOUCHES one? He swears it gets MORE life like? He really should look this up or something... suspect toys in Gotham and all... but on the other hand? Horny. And the boxes WERE closed. It's fiiiiine.

But which one? It's kinda been a while. And he doesn't want to be sore tomorrow. This one!

So Tim lays back. Let's himself enjoy working himself open. Then works the fake(?) Cock inside himself. And oh~ it's WARM. Twitchs. He let's himself enjoy a slow, lazy session. Get really sloppy and relaxed before finally finding juuust the right angle aaaand~

Across the city, the current Robin, Damian Wayne, is shaking APPART on a roof top. Sweat pouring down his temple, thighs trembling as he tries ro stop himself from rutting up into empty air. It won't help. Won't make the damnable TEASING go any faster. Wet and tight and PERFECT around him.

Came out of NOWHERE. One second he was patrolling, the next barely catching himself from falling. Stumbling into an alchove on some god forsaken roof. Hands fumbling to turn off his comms. Absolutely not. They could NOT hear him like this.

Panting into hands pressed tight over his own mouth to stiffle the sound he wants to make. Beg and demand that magnificent heat go FASTER. Plunge him DEEPER. But he CANT. Because there's no one there. Just him and the slowly increasing pressure in his balls, begging for relief.

Then, like prayers answered, it DOES. He could WEEP. Can't stop the aborted jerks of his hips as he chases his relief. Soon is trembling like the virgin he ISNT anymore as he spills into... into SOMEONE.

They take it so well. So perfectly.

He's RUINED. His hand will never be enough after this. And Tim has no idea.

Sure, he's not stupid. He didn't buy toys the fake cum. (So to be safe plan B it is) But? In the cold like of day? Prooooobably magic sex toys. Eh. It's Gotham. Not the weirdest thing to happen. Tim's keeping them.

And using them.

Thus begins the "phantom lover" incident, as Bruce will insist on calling it. Because "we were haunted by random fuckings" sounds... unprofessional. And he's a Dramatic Bitch at heart.

Damian, obviously, told NO ONE. Patrol? Utterly normal. Mind you business. But Bruce? Uncomfortable conversations for EVERYBODY~☆

See, Tim has a long day. His new camera isn't gonna be in for a WEEK. There is no point in going out. So his evening stretchs long and empty before him. Which... SPEAKING of things both long and things empty... >.>

He remembers. There was an absolute UNIT that he bought. It also has that base... which mean he could put it on the sex pillow. Try riding it... oh he's GOTTA, now.

Lucky for Bruce, he's not even in the cave when it hits. Unluckily, it is a cock teasing hell. Nothing to hold. No body to press close. No skin to run his hands across or ears to whisper filthy praise. So TIGHT. Fluttering and fighting to take him. Sinking little by little. Can't even HEAR him praising them. He can't even distract them, rub their clit and sooth them as muscles relax.

Can't hold them by the hips and work them up and down. They way he knows will work best. At angles that will make them SOB. Just nothing, nothing, nothing. Trembling and eager around him but so SLOW. Pausing again and again to adjust. Can't thrust in, can't pull out, only TAKE it. Let himself be teased.

But OH. When they finally, FINALLY get a rythme? He knows they can hear a word he says. Not yet. But the FILTH he growls. The audacity of what they're doing. He's GOING to find them. Going to pin them done and-

Tim spend the next day sore, but happy. Definitely not an "every day" sort of toy, but holy shit the orgasm. He hasn't slept this well in a WHILE. Though... when he wakes up? The Bats are acting weird. Violent, hyper-focused, seemly shaking down leads with a single minded enthusiasm. Weird.

Speaking OFF. Now he's wondering... does the possibly fake cum... TASTE like real cum?

One way to find out.

And... look. Dick may have been warned, but it's one thing to hypothetically get your bits milked dry and another to be doubled over seeing the face of god. He would gladly kill a man for the ability to grab hold of whoever is doing this and ram home. The mouth on him is a thing of wonder and it keeps TEASING the tip. They keep running soft, pampered, little hands up and down his length. God he wants them to feel him in their GUT. Fuck their face and their ass and any OTHER holes they have til everything is sloppy and wet and-

Yep! From the tast flooding Tim's mouth, that's real cum. Good his he got his shot. But it begs the question... whoms't exactly is he fucking? Tim's not sure he's comfortable with random hook ups. What if, Gods forbid, it linked him to the JOKER or something!? He'd have to blow up the city and everyone in it.

He considers this as he resumes his sta- he means, BIRD watching. Newly be-camera-d. Weirdly enough, now Nightwing is acting off too. What is going ON? Also... he could of SWORN he saw the Red Hood a second ago. Did he leave? Aaw D:>

.....what's that sound?

*boss music starts playing* That would be the Red Hood. Owner of the mythical Common Sense gene. HE immediately phoned a friend! And by THAT we mean he beamed up to The Watchtower to get poked at by magic users until he had a scanner.

Beep beep, mother fucker. You have explaining to do.

OR, counter argument.... Tim makes a run for it. Doesn't GET far. But he Sure Did Try! Jason is unamused. Consent is sexy, kids. And he has the gun to explain that. But! TIM has the panic babbling to explain his horny stupidity and innocence.

Fair enough. He's confiscating them though. If you get horny, just fucking ask.

Wait.... really? Does Jason really mean that?

And... two things. Cute Horny Idiot knows his identity. And.... he never said HE wasn't also apparently a horny idiot. Sure, why the fuck not.

He confiscate the magic contraband... then bends that twink in HALF. Comms off, back into it. Tim can barely breathe, pressed down so tightly to the bed as his guts get re-arranged, callused hands holding his legs spread, his childhood hero rumbling FILTH into his ear as hips snap against his, again and again and AGAIN. The world is hot and fuzzy around the edges and... AND-!

Jason's pretty damn smug that HES not only the one who found mystery twink, but them fucked him incoherent. He seriously considers just... not saying anything. Whoops! Nothing to find here folks. To bad the Watchtower is a fuckin snitch.

So obviously Bruce finds out. And wants to "talk to him". Which inevitably ends with Tim, pressed close to his front, held still as he "fucks him properly". Which as far a Tim is concerned is a god damned excuse to EMPALE him on his monster of a cock. Work it deeper and deeper, all while holding him like a lover, as he absolutely DESTROYS Tim's poor puss. Makes him lose count of how many times he's gotten off. Until everything is too bright and hyper sensitive. Til it's nearly hurting but not quite there and all Tim can think about, as he whimpers and drools, is SLEEP.

Oh... and THEN he wants to talk about how Tim knows their secret identies. Ask him in the morning or Tim WILL cry at you.

He wakes up in Wayne Manor. He did not go to sleep in Wayne Manor. He can't move his lower body with out pain. Bruce is clearly pretending he planned that. Liar.

Then? Karma. His horny chickens come home to roost. Has Bruce introduced you to his sons? This is Dick and Damian. They remember you. And would like a "word".

(The word is sex and they would like it as soon as possible)

👀👀👀!!!!!!!!!!!! a reverse magic sex toy!!!!!!!!!!!!! where tim tortures the other bats by fucking his little pussy with their cocks while they're forced to just suffer and endure it until he's finished. more than once they almost scream from frustration because tim finishes before they do and he pulls them out of his warm, slick little hole. 👀👀👀👀

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Parenthood-Maki, Mai, Nobara, and Miwa X Male Himbo Reader Pt.2

@exolocke : Hey I saw ur Jujutsu Kaisen women with Himbo reader, and I was curious if that could get a part two for when the relationship is more developed and more life long topics are brought up in it, stuff like the topic of kids, or other things that come up in a long term relationship, I didn’t see ur stance on NSFW topics so I totally understand if that’s not something included if it’s out of ur comfort zone.

Anyway thanks for taking time to read this and have a nice day 😊

(thank you for the request! I’m perfectly fine with NSFW though I will admit I’m not all that good at it. Originally this was going to be mostly NSFW but then the writing goblin in my head kind of just… took the request idea and ran with it in a different direction.)

But enough of that, YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND!

Warnings: Light Angst, Suggestive Content, Mentions Of Violence

Words: 1,693

Maki

You and Maki have been together for years.

There were of course highs and lows as with any relationship.

But the both of you moved past them with a bit of hard headed determination and a lot of the two of you being the two of you.

And this of course led to the inevitable that everyone could see from a mile away except you two.

Marriage, the merging of the last of the Zenin clan and your own family.

It was something that neither of you ever expected to happen while everyone else had money on how long it would take before one of you popped the question.

Of course Gojo won that bet, even from beyond the grave, but he’s not important right now.

So now the two of you are married.

And the both of you were being very, very, very stiff around one another.

It was worse than when the both of you started dating.

All because the both of you had a question they wanted to ask the other.

A question that sat between the both of you like a loaded gun.

A question that you were the first to ask.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Maki…” You began to say before trailing off while the both of you lazed about on a slaw day while the rain was beating against the building.

“Yeah?” Maki tentatively asked, already knowing the question about to be asked and still not knowing how she would answer it.

“What’s your thoughts on having kids?”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Maki’s world screeched to a halt as she turned the question over and over in her head.

“What did she think about having kids?”

It was never something she thought about.

Never something she ever considered to be possible.

And yet now that she had been asked the question she had to decide if she wanted to have one.

It was something she could answer easily.

Yes, she’d love to have kids with you, and raise them with you.

But there was more to it than that.

There was…

No, they weren’t here anymore, she was free of that place.

And if there was one thing she’s learned from you it's this.

Don’t just think, feel too.

So Maki did exactly that and answered your question in the only way she knew how.

With her whole being.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Inumaki was concerned about Maki.

Sure she could probably slap a curse and kill it but still… She was a friend.

A friend who hasn’t come to training in quite a while.

Which for anyone else would be perfectly fine.

But Maki wasn’t other people, she was Maki.

Training was what she did for fun.

And Inumaki wanted to know why she wasn’t coming to training and why she was always sleeping or eating weird foods.

Well, weirder foods than usual that is.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Inumaki slipped behind the corner as you and Maki talked.

“-you okay?” You asked the muscular woman.

“Yeah, just tired, and nauseous, why the fuck does growing a kid make you feel like you’ve just gotten off a damn roller coaster?” Maki asked with a groan while leaning on the wall.

Meanwhile, Inumaki was having his world flipped on its head at the sudden information he had been given.

Maki Zenin, the strongest woman he knows bar none, is pregnant with your kid.

And he just figured this out because he stuck his nose where it shouldn’t have been.

He needs to run, and fast.

Really, really, REALLY fucking fast.

So that's exactly what he did as soon as the two of you weren’t paying attention. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Inumaki’s current train of thought could be most accurately described as “Oh god, Oh fuck, Oh god, Oh fuck.”

And it was for good reason considering what he just learned.

He prayed to god Maki wouldn’t kill him if he accidentally let it slip.

Oh who was he kidding, she absolutely would.

Inumaki burst into the faculty room where his friends minus Maki sat.

“Whoa! What's wrong with you, Toge!?” the large ball of fluff known as Panda asked.

And without thinking, the white haired man exclaimed “SALMON ROE!”

He then slapped both his prosthetic and his real hand over his mouth as dread overtook him.

Meanwhile everyone in the room looked like Inumaki had just pulled the pin on a grenade and tossed it.

Mai

Mai Zenin sat on the couch, devouring her fifth bag of chips from a bowl that was placed on her swollen belly.

“You're a hungry little shit ain’t ya?” Mai affectionately asked the small human growing inside of her.

Mai was not expecting a response when she asked this but she got one in the form of the baby kicking.

For the very first time.

“…Oh.” Was all Mai was able to say as a flood of emotions overwhelmed her.

Mai was someone who never let out what she was feeling.

It was something she learned from when she was young.

A tool for survival.

But now she had no need to use it.

Her life was filled with friends, with family, true family.

She had a life filled with love, with everything she could want plus more.

She even had you, one of the most powerful living sorcerers as the one who loved her.

And now, even more was about to be added to this dreamlike life of hers.

A child, one she wouldn’t let go of even if she was dead.

A human that would receive as much love as Mai could offer.

A human that would receive as much love as you could offer as well.

A human that wouldn’t have to fear what she did, not only because the Zenin were gone, but because Mai would simply never allow that to happen.

That is the promise she made to the child growing inside of her in that exact moment.

That is the promise she made to her child, the one that she would raise and support, no matter what.

Nobara

Nobara held her daughter in her arms, looking into her sleeping face with her one good eye.

It was a surreal experience.

“Ya know you were a lotta trouble to bring out here right? How the heck are you so dang peaceful now?” Nobara whispered the question before turning her face to look at you a few feet away from her, sleeping in a chair, your arms crossed, but more than ready to turn any cursed spirit that tried to show its ugly mug into ground beef.

“Prolly cause of your dad, he always had a good poker face, though it was probably a good thing Yuji got to that Mahito guy before he did, If what I’ve heard bout’ that warpath he was on after I got taken out of commission and his domain expansion is to be believed he would’ve turned the entire area into one of those crazy things that M.C. Esher guy made.” Nobara muttered to herself before looking back at her child.

Her Child.

Nobara turned the phrase over and over in her head.

Didn’t quite make sense to her yet.

This small, tiny little thing in her arms came from you and her.

This little girl was the very manifestation of the love you and Nobara shared.

A physical manifestation of everything you and Nobara went through to reach this point.

It was something she needed to wrap her head around, though her heart was more than already there.

She could already tell that this little girl was going to be the greatest part of her life with you.

And she couldn’t wait to get that life truly started.

Miwa

You, Miwa, and a small, little boy dressed for school walked side by side on the street.

“I’m gonna make so many friends!” the small boy exclaimed, pumping his fist into the air, copying his fathers excitable nature.

“Oh I know you will, ain’t that right Kasumi?” You asked your wife and the love of your life.

Miwa turned her eyes down to her son and then raised her eyes to yours.

Eyes that were filled with sadness.

“Of course, our little boy will be the most popular boy in school.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

You and Miwa waved goodbye as the two of you walked away from the school.

“Heh, pretty sure that teacher thought we were Yakuza.” You said with a chuckle.

“If you started to wear your clothes right she might not get that impression.” Miwa said with a slightly teasing tone that held a sadness within.

“Sigh What’s up with you Kasumi? You’ve been acting weird since this morning.” You asked your wife in concern.

“It’s no-” Miwa began before being cut off by you saying “Don’t say “It’s nothing of concern” Kasumi, I can tell when something is wrong with you.”

Miwa was silent for a moment before trying to say something, but stumbling all over her words “It’s… I… schools and… and curses…”

“Don’t worry Kasumi, curses aren’t going to go after him, not with the both of us around.” You told your wife in an attempt to soothe her.

“B-but what if-” Miwa began before you wrapped your arm around her, pulling her close to you and saying.

“We can’t worry about what if’s, we won’t be able to protect him from everything, it's impossible to do that, but we can do everything we can while we are here for him to lean on. As long as we love him and as long as we do our utmost to protect him from everything we can while steering him right, that’s the best we can do. I know you want to keep him away from the things that took our friends but we can’t, all we can do is what we can do. I’m just as afraid as you are but being afraid won’t do anything, doing what we can will.”

“I-i know, you're right as usual, but can we just go over that place, one more time tonight?” Miwa asked, wanting to do everything she can to protect the little boy you and her made together.

“Of course, I was just about to suggest the same.”

[zzoomacroom]

Hey guys, soooo I have never written fanfiction in my life, but this just fell out of my brain for some reason. I don't know what came over me, but here's a little crackfic drabble for ya. Just a thousand words of Matthew being a complete idiot. Enjoy! (Yes, I know this premise has been done to death, but I'm having fun so shhhh)

Edit: now on ao3!

.......

So there Matthew was, just minding his own business, catching up with Merv in the gardens outside the palace, when a goddamned nuclear bomb went off.

"JEEZUS FUCK!" Mervyn bellowed, his cigarette dropping from his open mouth and into the pile of leaves he'd been raking. Matthew squawked and catapulted himself ungracefully to the top of the nearest tree.

Oh, so not a bomb then, thought Matthew as he watched the stunning display of fireworks that had erupted above the palace, gold and crimson embers now drifting lazily towards the ground. Still, what the hell was that all about? He would have to ask the boss--if there was some kind of celebration happening in the Dreaming, he wanted to join the party! Hopefully he'd be off his feathery tits on dream champagne before the day was over.

Matthew launched himself from the tree branch, ears still ringing as he made his way up to the palace. He soared through an open window to the throne room. Hmm, empty. So where was the party? He made his way to the library--Lucienne would know what was up.

"Heya, Loosh," he called as he circled down to the table where Lucienne was occupied with cleaning up a puddle of ink that was spilled all over the yellowed scroll she had been writing on. "What was up with the fireworks?"

"Hmm?" she glanced over to him, preoccupied. "Ah. That sometimes happens when...actually, it's probably better if you don't know. For your own sake," she adds pointedly, peering over her glasses at him.

Uh, wow. Ouch. "What? Aw, come on, don't leave me out of the loop. Ravens aren't invited to the party? Wait, why aren't you at the party?"

Lucienne stared at the raven, confusion and irritation mingling on her face. "What party? Lord Morpheus is in his private chambers, there is no--"

But Matthew was already hopping off the table and flying towards the nearest window. So it was a private, VIP kinda thing, then. He was a little hurt that he wasn't invited, but no matter. He would slip in and infiltrate the event, just in case the boss needed protecting from a disgruntled fae or something. And if he managed to dip his beak into some unattended booze, he felt he was sneaky enough that no one would be the wiser.

"You really don't want to know!" Lucienne called out exasperatedly as he flitted away, not looking up from her work. "Don’t say I didn't warn you!"

Yeah, yeah, he'd been to parties full of snooty elites before. Whatever weird shit they were into couldn't be any worse than what he'd seen during his recent trip to Hell. He circled upwards towards the highest tower and perched on the balcony outside the boss's private chamber. There was definitely something happening in there, judging by the noises coming from inside. It sounded like things were getting crazy--a shout, glass breaking, a thud like a body hitting the ground, a screech that may or may not have been human. Shit, the boss man might be in trouble! Good thing Matthew was here to...well, he wasn't really sure how he could help, but he'd figure something out. And he just really, really wanted to know what was going on! Curiosity may kill the cat, but the raven should be fine, right?

He darted into the darkened room and blinked as his eyes adjusted. Oh. No party, then. The boss was standing in the middle of the room, looking even more like he'd just sucked on a lemon than usual. His robe flicked around him and drooped off one shoulder, like he'd just hastily pulled it on (was that...a tentacle peeking out from under the hem?). And was he sweating? He didn't normally sweat, did he? And hold on--did he have cat ears?? Matthew stared, and just as he noticed the ears they receded down into his disheveled mop of hair and disappeared.

"What is it, Matthew?" the Dreamlord demanded icily.

"Uh...sorry to interrupt whatever...this...is, but I thought maybe you were in trouble. And I was just wondering what was up with the fireworks. Scared the bejeesus outta me and Merv," Matthew explained.

The boss looked confused for a moment before answering. "Ah. My apologies for the disruption," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm even as Matthew failed to get the hint. "The matter has been handled. You need not come to my defense."

At that, a poorly-stifled chuckle sounded from behind a marble pillar. "Sorry," the pillar mumbled sheepishly. The boss shot a withering glare at it and the pillar instantly dissolved into a pile of sand, revealing...

Ohhhh. "Um...hi, Hob," Matthew said with an awkward wave of his wing, wishing very much that he could dissolve into sand right about now. Hell, that may very well be his fate soon enough, based on the way the boss was glaring at him.

"Hey Matt," Hob replied with a bashful smirk. He was mostly naked except for an Elizabethan ruff, white knee-high stockings and a pair of 18th century shoes with little bows on them. And he was wearing the boss's helm. But not on his head (cool, cool, not like Matthew had followed the boss to Hell to get it back or anything). Oh, and he also had cat ears. Wonderful.

"Ya know, I better get going, I think Merv may need some help with--oh, yep, he set the garden on fire." Matthew peered out the window down to where Mervyn was currently shouting at no one and flailing around a steadily growing conflagration. "So I should go deal with that. Just wanted to check in, glad everything's good here. Uhhh nice to see you Hob, Boss. Not that I, uh, saw anything. Okay bye!" Matthew zoomed out the window before either of them could say anything else. God, he really needed a drink now.

.......

Morpheus continued to glare at the spot where Matthew had been perched as Hob came up and wrapped an arm around his waist.

"Right. So where were we?" asked Hob, apparently unphased by the whole incident.

"I think we should take this to the Waking if we wish to avoid any further interruptions," Dream replied through gritted teeth.

Hob chuckled and started to massage the knots out of his lover's shoulders. "Yeah, probably. Kids, right?" he sighed.

Morpheus raised an eyebrow at him. "Matthew is not my child."

"Isn't he, though?" Hob replied with a grin, peering over Dream's shoulder to watch Matthew and Mervyn frantically darting around the flaming pile of leaves, making no progress whatsoever in putting out the blaze. Morpheus merely sighed in exasperation.

[oops-all-concrete]

What would you think of how would each BG3 companions to Tav being secretly a god that has been tagging along with them all this time? Just curious

(SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET TO THIS, MY BRAIN HELD MY MOTIVATION RANSOM MIDWAY THROUGH ME WRITING THIS)

Ooohhhhh this sounds funnyyyy

Context: I'm imagining Tav is a god and has God status, a place in the pantheon and everything, but-! So continuity makes sense and the whole journey is still necessary, I'd assume them a curious God of some miscellaneous small thing so their powers wouldnt be THAT useful anyhow (God of clouds, God of fur, God of bread) but yeah!

BG3 companions react to Tav secretly being a...God???

(MILD SPOILERS FOR ACT 1/2)

Lae'zel -

She's suspicious at first, disbelieving of course. But as she watches Tav just summon (whatever they're the god of) from thin air, she frowns. "Chk. You may be of godly status, but if you're unwise enough to get kidnapped by a ghaik nautaloid, you are no mighty God." She finishes, nose upturned and almost- dissapointed??

Shadowheart -

Once shes been convinced, she frowns. "I don't think I've ever known of such a God...granted, Lady Shar only allowed for us to study her." She admits. She's quite hesitant, but she does ask. "Have you ever...met lady Shar/Seluné? Can you tell her I say hi? Is that appropriate?"

Wyll -

He's also hesitant to believe, but he's so curious once he believes you. "Wait, so, what's it like being a God? Does being a mortal feel weird? Are you immune to anything? What happens if you die? Does someone become the new God of what you're the God of? Are you even allowed to be here? What does the immortal plane smell like?" Just, a million and one questions and he wants ALL the stories.

Karlach -

"Woah! That's so cool, I wish I was a God...I'd be the God of potatoes. Is that already a thing?" Regardless if its true, she let's Tav have their fun. She also refers to every time she's saved by Tav as 'Divine Intervention' which isn't...wrong?

Gale -

"Ah, I got that impression, albeit with doubt." He says, sounding only a little smug. "Your disguise is well crafted, I'll give you that. Definitely something I aspire to learn from" he smiles fondly. Then there's a pause. "...I understand its not quite your field but you wouldn't be someone who could fix the whole...orb in me chest could you? Or would that also put you under Mystras ire?"

Astarion -

He seems immediately intrigued. "Really? I thought you were a little calm for all of this, but I never would have guessed- no offense. I'm sure you're very...powerful in your own way!" He says, somewhat forcing a smile. "So- does prayer work, or does the world have to be ending for everyone in order for you to pick up a summon?" He asks, curious, but seeming somewhat irritated too. He doesn't elaborate on why.

Halsin -

He seems doubtful at first but believes you quicker than you expected. "I hadn't imagined thr gods would send one of their own to come and save me from goblins or...help lift a shadow curse left by Shar of all people." He says, a faint smile on his face. "While I am in your debt, you should my life is already pledged to Silvannus. I hope what I'm already doing is enough"

Jaheira -

She looks Tav up and down, crosses her arms, and then- chuckles? "Sorry, I just- I feel like I finally have evidence I've been here too long. I haven't passed away to some dumb idea yet, so the Gods sent one of their own to get me." She laughs it off but then looks at Tab quite seriously. "...you're not here to get me are you?"

Minsc -

"I know!" He replies happily, not missing a beat. "Boo alerted me of your origins immediately. He's delighted to be joined by another of the pantheon, even if a lesser God" He smiles, mindlessly as ever.

[otomefiend]

Victor

Collection Event: Mirror mirror...

A little Victor treat cause I missed him. ♡ Pardon any awkwardness since I don't have much time to proofread it.

~~~

(Where... am I...?)

(I'm sure I went to sleep in my room at the Crown castle, did I not?)

I decided to walk around and assess the situation...

Victor: "Hi there, Kate."

...I was greeted by Victor, who suddenly appeared in front of me.

Kate: "Victor....!? You appeared out of thin air..."

Kate: ".. oh, is it a magic trick, perhaps?"

Victor: "Pfft, it's not a magic trick. This is just a dream you're having, so anything is possible!"

Kate: "A dream...?"

Victor: "Yes, anything that happens here, happens according to your wish."

Victor: "Whether it's gorgeous gem- adorned dresses or delicious, buttery pastries..."

Victor: "One wish from you, and you can have anything you want."

As he said this, he picked up a tree branch that lay at his feet.

Victor: "Let's see --"

He gently waved the branch as if it were a wizard's wand.

At that moment, a table ready for a tea party and a large wardrobe fell from the sky.

The wardrobe opened itself, revealing a variety of colourful dresses.

Victor: "... ta da!"

Kate: "Whoa... amazing! It really is a dream..."

Victor: "Your enthusiasm is appreciated! Well, no point just standing around; let's continue our chat over a cup of tea."

He urged me to sit on the chair that had just appeared and drink the tea prepared for me.

(I feel like I'm always drinking tea with Victor...)

(...it's strange to enjoy myself like that in a dream)

Kate: "By the way, why are you my dream, Victor?"

Victor: "I'm here to make your dreams come true! It's like a stage set-up."

Kate: "My dreams, you say..."

Victor: "Yeah, no matter how daring they may seem. Tell me what you want?"

Victor: "Let your imagination run freely. Whether you want to fly, do something outlandish, or just visualise it!"

Victor: "I'll accept anything and make it come true!"

Kate: "Then... I want to spoil you, Victor."

His jewel-like eyes widened in astonishment.

Victor: "...spoil me?"

Victor: "Um... it's definitely something you want to do, yes? You're not trying to fulfill my wishes?"

Kate: "Yes, it's what I want."

Kate: "You're busy working as the Queen's Aide and looking after the Crown."

Kate: "And yet you never show that you're tired and always take care of me..."

Kate: "So I thought I'd let you rest your body and mind."

Victor: "........."

Kate: "But whenever I try to persuade you to take a break in real life, you politely refuse..."

Kate: "And there's only so much I can do when I lend you a hand with work."

Kate: "So... will you allow me to help you, even if just in a dream?"

Kate: "That's what I want."

Victor: "Seriously... you know you've already helped me enough?"

Victor smiled softly in an attempt to dispel my anxiety. He was kind even in a dream.

(Still, it was true I've been performing my duties as a fairytale writer...)

(Little by little, I feel like I'm helping the Crown)

(... but, that's not enough)

I wanted him to need me more. I wanted to be useful... I wanted to get closer.

These feelings welled up in my heart whenever I was with Victor.

Wanting to dote on Victor was more for my own benefit than his.

Victor: "........."

Kate: "I'll do whatever I can, so..."

Victor: "...now now, don't be too hasty saying things like that."

Victor: "Even if I'm just a figment of your imagination."

Victor chided me but then winked playfully.

Victor: "But... if that's what you want, then by all means, feel free to pamper me."

Kate: "Thank you so much...!"

Victor: "Haha, I should be thanking you."

Victor: "Hmm, so you want to pamper me then... but what should I ask you to do?"

Kate: "Would you like to have a nap? You could use my lap as a pillow!"

Victor: "Lap pillow...?"

(Oops, I got carried away and said something weird... offering my lap was a ridiculous idea...)

Kate: "S-sorry, forget what I said..."

Victor: "What a splendid idea, Kate!"

Victor: "I'm tall, so I always look down at you, don't I? It'll be fun to look up for a change."

He did not find it strange and accepted the proposal.

As I sat down in a field of flowers, Victor took off his coat and gently placed his head on my lap.

(It's strange... the touch of Victor's hair and his warmth feel so real)

Kate: "Are you comfortable?"

Victor: "Of course! It's perfect... though isn't my head too heavy?"

Kate: "Not at all, it's very light... Erm, I don't mean that your head is empty or anything like that...!"

Victor: "Haha! Don't worry, Kate!"

Victor: "I know you wouldn't look down like that at anyone... I can see right through you."

Kate: "... thank you."

His words made me happy; I could feel my lips curve into a smile.

Victor, who had been watching me from the lap, reached out and stroked my cheek.

Victor: "Being able to see your happy face at such a close distance... definitely makes me a fan of this position."

Victor: "Thank you for being by my side and always keeping a smile on your face."

His tender touch tickled me, and I returned the favour by combing my hand through his hair.

We continued talking about trifle things, until...

Kate: "....achoo!"

I suddenly felt a chill and let out a small sneeze.

Victor: "Are you feeling chilly? I'd hate for you to catch a cold."

Victor: "Put on my coat for now... I'll get something else to keep you warm."

He stood up in a hurry, intending to leave me.

Kate: "W-wait, please! I'm fine, so stay with me a little longer..."

It was Victor's presence that brought happiness into my dreams.

I felt that the moment he disappeared from view, the dream would end, and I would be back to reality...

I stopped him, wanting to immerse myself in this world a little longer.

Victor: "... then, may I hug you?"

Kate: "Huh...?"

Victor: "There's nothing here that can keep you warm other than me. Kidding --"

Kate: "... is it okay to impose on you this way?"

I was aware I was dreaming, and yet I did feel a bit chilly.

I wanted Victor to stay by my side, and I wanted to stay warm,

His offer satisfied both of those needs... so I gladly accepted it.

Victor: "........."

Hearing my reply, Victor became unusually silent, and then, hesitating, he gently pulled me into his arms.

He wasn't supposed to be real, and yet I could feel his body heat,

my own body, which meant to be cold, gradually started to warm up.

(I don't know why... I feel so calm)

Being held like that by a man made me embarrassed.

But more than that, it was like my body had been waiting for Victor to embrace me for a long time...

It gave me a sense of security—the sensation that I was where I belonged.

Without saying a word, I hugged him back, and his arms, initially hesitant, tightened their grip around me.

Kate: "... I think I like being hugged by you."

I said it without thinking, and then I realized. This was not the reality but the world of dreams.

Kate: "Still... this is my dream and my desire. I'm sorry for making you go out with me..."

I was happy to have my shallow desires fulfilled by the dream Victor...

...yet my happiness rang hollow.

Victor: "... you think so? Maybe this isn't just your wish."

Victor: "I'm sure the real Victor would appreciate it as much."

Wrapped in the arms of an imaginary Victor whose words were kind, just like in reality.

I sincerely hoped that this pleasant dream would last a little longer.

~~~

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕐𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝔾, ℙ, 𝕋 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: Hihi !! I see ur reqs are open, so could I request letters G, P and T of the yandere alphabet with Rui, please? Ty!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Hello! Yeah absolutely! I didn't do yandere alphabet for a while and I feel like I may need to get used to it again because... I dunno it kinds feels cringe ToT Anyway, I hope it's just me and it's actually not and hope you like it!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ TW: unhealthy obsession, yandere, stalking, mentions of killing, mentions of body parts

Not putting affiliation because I'm aware of how triggering this could be.

✧ Gross = What is something they think is really romantic/sweet but is actually horrifying?

Rui has real talent for creating robots, and he's also quite obsessed with making sure you're always safe. So why not mix those two for your own good, he thought? And that's how he one day announced that he invented a drone who'll follow you around and explained all the functions... it had camera, it could scare someone away but it could also kill... he assured you it'll never harm you but how can you not feel a bit startled knowing that murderous robot follows you 24/7?

He on the other hand thinks it's act of pure affection, love and care to you. He thinks he's just proving how much he wants to take care of your well being with that. So expect him to not understand when you ask him to give it up, no matter how hard you try convincing him.

"Stop it? Oh my darling... but I can't. What if someone approaches you when I'm away? You need protection. It's enough that I turn it off when we're together and it's for your comfort only."

✧ Please take it = What presents they usually give you? What's worst and best gift you got from them?

The best gift Rui gave to you would be something you were just eyeing in a mall. You didn't even had to be with him... he just had his connections and ways to observe you~ Maybe it was a bit creepy but there was nothing weird about the gift so who are you to refuse such a generous gift? It's not like he'd let you not take it either way...

But the worst gift would only happen if you have an enemy or a bully in your life. Once he hears stories from you, others or sees on his own two eyes what's happening, he promised himself to get vengeance for you and make you proud. So one day, when you were curious how could it be person you hated stopped appearing, he presents a little gift for you. Small trophy left from your, as well as his enemy. Little... part of their that he cut off.

✧ Type = What type of Yandere are they?

Rui would be the dependent and possessive type. Due to his middle school experience, he feels stronger need to be around you and not let go of you, so you want push him away. He's willing to try anything to keep you closer to him, be it slowly working for you to trust him, bribing you or even forcing you. He's good as long as it works.

But he doesn't have that sort of patience with strangers... if you approach someone, maybe he'll trust you. But if someone approaches you? He has all sorts of scenarios in his head and would kill them with a smile for even daring to speak with you.

"No, no, you don't need to go anywhere. I already took care of those papers. Someone less busy can do it, don't you think? You should focus on me, darling..."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @yulikesminori @toyaswif3y @bl4cktourmaline @infernoram - come get your crazy inventor~

[webslingingslasher]

I'm craving angst right now. like I want my heart to hurt. probably sounding insane right now lmao. brb I'm gonna read your fics to feel the hurt. hope you're doing well <3

does this work? i almost teared up reading this, my brother is going through a really tough break up so this hits different (taylors version.)

You know what part of a break up they never talk about? 

They prepare you for the heartache, and it goes beyond what anyone could try to prepare you for. It’s a pain you’ve never felt before, it was weird experiencing such intense emotional pain it caused physical pain. Everything hurt, your knees were wobbly but your feet felt like lead. Your head was dizzy and painful, your chest was tight and burning, your stomach was in knots. 

It was the worst six weeks of your life. You’d never wish it on anyone, not even your worst enemy, no human should ever experience something that agonizing, ever. 

But the real kicker, the real true gut wrenching, awful, excruciating thing about a break up? 

Is watching them move on. 

Nothing could have prepared you for the gut punch you felt when you saw Peter holding hands with another girl, the air left your lungs entirely. You clawed at your throat gasping for air, you felt like you were about to pass out. 

Because it hit, reality hit. 

Peter wasn’t yours. 

He wasn’t yours anymore and you can’t pretend he would come back, he may have broken up with you but there was always that silent prayer that he’d come back, begging for a second chance, pleading that he didn’t know what he was doing, he didn’t mean it. 

That would never happen, he has someone else now. 

Someone who’s going to touch him like you did, someone who’s going to feel like arms tracing down your body like he did, someones who’s going to laugh at him like you did, someone who’s going to hold his hand and kiss his face and give him hugs and play with his hair and wear his clothes and go on dates and feel his skin. 

Someone’s who's going to love him like you do. 

It wasn’t right, you felt betrayed, how could he do this? 

Doesn’t he know he’s not supposed to move on until both people fall out of love? 

Doesn’t he know you’re never going to fall out of love? 

You feel like you’re about to have a panic attack, how did he do it? How did he just leave it all behind? How can he act like it didn’t affect him too, like the meteor strike didn’t hit? 

You need to go home, you need to go home and crawl into bed and not leave until you can mentally prepare yourself enough to see him, see him with another girl. 

See him happy. 

Didn’t he know you were supposed to be the one that made him happy? 

He was the one that made you happy, you haven’t smiled in months. 

Peter left and took your joy with him, he’s given it to someone else now. 

You feel your legs move but you’re not in control, flight is taking control and you’re backpedaling out of the school doors, you take yourself all the way home and curl under the blankets, nothing feels right or normal or fine. 

And no matter how hard you try, you can’t stop watching them hold hands, can’t stop seeing Peter’s thumb swipe across the back of her hand like he did yours, six weeks ago. Even the tears seeping out couldn’t blur the vision. 

You wanted to text him. 

You’d imagine what you’d say. 

How did you move on so quickly? 

Do you ever miss us? 

Why did it happen like that? 

What happened to us? 

Did the love affair maim you too? 

I haven’t slept since that Tuesday you ended it. 

No, they wouldn’t bring closure, and you needed that, didn’t you? 

You pick up your phone, his contact still has a heart by it.

 The day you erase it is the day you die.

You give in, maybe if he knows how much you’re willing to change it’ll work. 

‘I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy anymore, but I tried.’ 

‘I know you did.’ 

You didn’t need to say anything else, he already did. 

It wasn’t enough. 

[l1llina]

Going up

Alhaitham x fem!reader

Prompt: He wanted her job and it would be easy enough to

After the dream Samsara, Alhaitham ended up as the new Grand Sage. However, he still misses his old job as the scribe. He asks around in hopes he can take up his old position again but he had already been replaced. His replacement was you.

Alhaitham despite practicing stoicism was upset to say the least. He was frowning slightly, as compared to his neutral, indifferent expression. He knew someone would take up his position soon but he didn't expect it to be that soon. He taps your desk and you jolt.

"Hello Grand Sage, how may I help you today ?" Y/N spoke.

On the desk, he can see texts from 100-1000 years ago. Stacks of paper are piled on top and there is a pillow, blankets and cups of tea.

"Hello. Scribe, what is your name ?". He asked.

"I'm Y/N. Are you looking for some documents ? I'm happy to help. Or maybe, you need to find someone ? Uhh, or uhh." She stuttered

Alhaitham was thinking. His first thought was Y/N was a different scribe than he was, more expressive, less poignant. She even acted like a sort of secretary even though her job was to record historical data.

"I am Alhaitham, I am not the Grand Sage so please just call me by my name." He voiced.

Y/N is sweating in her chair. Why was the Grand Sage rejecting his position. That is so weird. Why is he here to talk to the scribe of all people? Did he come here because she was suspicious. Did she look like the type of person who would stage a coup d'état. The last person who interacted with him was sent to jail, or that was what she remembered.

"I used to be the scribe." Alhaitham admitted.

"Oh-" Y/N gasped.

She was starting to piece what was happening but it still seemed he was here for something else.

The cogs in Alhaitham's head was turning. She doesn't understand and this was going to be an awkward situation. Just look at her, she's hyperventilating. This is going to take more time than he wanted it to.

Y/N is trembling. He was either here to get his job back, fire her for being incompetent or she was suspected of being a war criminal! In all those scenarios, her peaceful life would be over.

"I swear I'll get better at my job!". She exclaimed, hoping that was the reason he was here. For being bad at her job.

Al Haitham glanced over and these were his next words. "You are a better scribe than I was. You really seem to put your all into this job."

"I am actually here because I don't like being the Grand Sage that is all. I was hoping to be the Scribe again but here you are. It is well deserved, might I say"

Y/N blushed and smiled. His compliment meant a lot to her. She sighs too because he was a nice guy and he looked disappointed. She couldn't really do anything to cheer him up except give up her position but she can't do that. This job was perfect for her.

Y/N proposes "I'm sorry, you seem very nice. Even if I quit this position, could you become the Scribe again ? There's no better person for the Grand Sage but you.." She smiles

Truth be told, she was right. Nahida didn't intend to let Alhaitham quit being the Grand Sage despite his wishes, the only way would be to find a more competent Grand Sage.

"I have some ideas for replacements. Like, the Traveler or Nahida herself or maybe the Wanderer. Maybe even Faruzan could work. You should try before you give up. If you find someone we'll have a challenge to see who's the better scribe. If you win, I quit." Y/N smiles

Alhaitham looked at her this time, with his usual indifferent look. She was very kind and a little dumb. She doesn't have to give up her job if she doesn't want to. She's too nice. But a challenge sounds good, the job will go to someone who rightfully deserves it and both parties can leave satisfied afterwards.

2 weeks pass, and Y/N was right not to lose hope. Nahida actually budged on her decision. Alhaitham had found a suitable candidate and that candidate would take over but only if Alhaitham won the challenge and quit. Nahida is also very kind and it's a nice thing the people of Sumeru get to have her as an archon.

The challenge to determine who was the best Scribe was decided. Whoever could translate more texts within an hour wins, quality will be taken into account of course.

On the day of the challenge, Alhaitham arrived in a nice suit. It was to celebrate getting his job back. On the other end, we have Y/N who had eyebags from studying the night before.

It starts and Y/N manages to translate 2 whole texts in 15 minutes but Alhaitham was already on his 4th text. She was behind by 1 text. To make up for the loss of time, she translated 4 texts roughly in 10 minutes and decided to clean them up later. In the last 2 minutes, Alhaitham had 11 fully translated texts and Y/N had 10 fully translated texts, her strategy had worked, but it wasn't enough. The gong chimes and Y/N seemed to have lost. Her only hope was that her translations were better than his.

10 minutes pass and the winner is announced.

It's Alhaitham. He smiles with a wide grin. He looked so happy. Y/N was very tired but she applauded him. It was a good fight. She then slumped on the desk and fell asleep for the last time as the Scribe, in the Scribe's office.

At 11 pm, a silhouette is spotted. It carries Y/N to the couch in her office, covers Y/N with a blanket and puts a pillow under her head. He kisses her forehead and leaves a bouquet of flowers for her to wake up to. The night was a sad one for Y/N. It was beautiful, serene and joyful. It was almost mocking Y/N's current state. It's the end of her peaceful job and life. Tomorrow she'll be jobless. She'll find another job surely but how she'll miss her old one. She understands Alhaitham better and realised how much the two of them were similar for their love of being the Scribe.

In the morning, Y/N is gently woken up by her ex-rival, Alhaitham. He smiles at her with no malicious intent to be found. It saddens her but she smiles. He was happy now. He even looked a little red but Y/N was still groggy from the all nighter she pulled the day before.

He slowly slides an arm behind her back and Y/N leans into his touch. What a weird guy. She closes her eyes again before he hugs her. He was hiding his face in her neck but Y/N started blushing too. Was she overthinking again, why would a guy hug a girl when she just woke up.

A letter is slid into her bag. Y/N packs up and leaves to go home. Before she did, Alhaitham asked where she lived since he wanted to see her again. She tells him and leaves. Unbeknownst to her, Alhaitham follows and waits at a nearby café. He had something else he wanted to say to her.

"What's this in my bag?"

Hello Y/N, You have been recommended to be the new Grand Sage. I know it is very sudden but the previous Grand Sage and I agreed you would be quite suitable. Why you may ask ? Well first of all, you were the Scribe and our previous Grand Sage was a scribe too. Second of all, I believe Grand Sages have to be kind to the people and encouraging. How else would people keep learning if they aren't motivated to do so ? Please refer Alhaitham to give us your answer. Sincerely, Nahida

... A gust of wind is felt as the door of Y/N's residence flutters open. Y/N is running, she's crying, beaming with joy, laughing and out of breath. Alhaitham sees her and walks in front of her path. The sight of his cru- ahem friend was so beautiful to see.

"YES! I accept!"

The man was blushing. It sounded like something else. The people in front of the cafe started clapping. A few "CONGRATULATIONS!" can be heard. Y/N realises what's happening and starts blushing too.

Alhaitham readjusts his collar. "Noted. Greetings Grand Sage". Alhaitham pressed a kiss to her forehead. He was worried he was a little too forward but surprise, surprise. Y/N asked "Can I kiss you ?". An agreement was reached and Y/N and Alhaitham press a chaste kiss on each other's lips.

Oho~ How the tables have turned ~~

[-The End-]

[nekropsii]

hello!I have a question about your alpha troll iceberg.

When did kurloz sexually assault meulin?I cannot find the source for it on my own.

I’m also a little skeptical since:

1.kurloz feels some form of guilt for deafening meulin.Not as much guilt as he shows,considering how he technically breaks his oath of silence by using his purpleblood magic

2.he isn’t openly sexual other than getting the codpiece,which I view as him following any orders from gamzee and/or lord English.And also his game sprite may have a bulge to it?im not sure about my second point

3.i don’t know why he would do that because he doesn’t abuse meulin that way.In openbound 2,he treats meulin more as an easy pawn to assist him in his malicious plans to help lord english & gamzee rather than sexually assaulting her to ruin her and then manipulating her.

I’m really curious to know when this happened,since it would reframe his already atrocious actions as even worse

Also I have a bias since I have a weird attachment to kurloz for no canon compliant reason.

Hopefully this isn’t too long…it probably is but I hope 8]

I applaud the thoroughness, actually, and thank you for reaching out. I love when people ask me to Cite My Sources, so to speak.

It's in one of the Signing portions of their interactions, so I do not necessarily blame you for missing it.

This is clearly non-consensual touching that is being framed as Upsetting on Meulin's end and Deliberately Creepy on Kurloz's.

I'm not really sure how I feel about it. Well, I feel bad about it, obviously, assault is literally always bad, but I really cannot decipher Kurloz as a character. Not fully, really, 'cuz he doesn't have much of one. To me, this reads as a pure, unadulterated Makara Moment, and I'm frankly just kind of tired of it. Kurloz's character is just a nebulous haze of Plot Instigation and Racism. Gamzee's character is also just a nebulous haze of Plot Instigation and Racism. These are both characters who are coded as Black, who are portrayed as being very dominating, abusive, and physically + sexually violent - especially Gamzee. Kurloz doing this is weird, but it's not... Shocking, I guess.

His relationship with Meulin is absolutely, uh... Troubled... To put it nicely... What, with him manipulating her into a cult and mind controlling her into doing his bidding all the time, on top of this assault, the Bullshit Clown Magic having the side effects of Confusion, Brain Fog, and Memory Loss, and her still seeming to have some kind of suppressed attraction to him... It's complicated. I think it could be genuinely very fascinating to explore, if one has the stomach for it. And a deft enough hand... And is capable of handling it all with maximum sensitivity. It's verging on something really good... But it falls kind of flat, and it's fucking exhausting that we're having this same damn conversation with another fucking Makara.

This could be done extremely well. There's some genuinely solid grounds here for exploring a very complex, very visceral abusive relationship, kind of like what was going on with Gamzee and Terezi, but... There was both just not enough time to set that up fully, and also I am so tired of Makaras being Like That.

I wish I could say this was surprising. I really do. It's not, though. It's like... On par with Gamzee being kind of a Necrophile. I just have to sigh and throw my hands up and accept it. Like, god dammit, okay, I guess we're doing this today! Sure! Whatever! Fuck my life.

[stoopid-turtle]

On the Acceptance of Unsteady Ground

Throughout this whole dive into turtle world, I've been very conscious of just how LITTLE access to information I have. I'm relying so heavily on English translations and platforms, and most of these are from turtles, so I'm fully aware I'm getting a biased perspective.

I've tried to read stuff from solos or even just neutral third-parties. The neutral parties don't have much depth of information, though, and I found solos heavy on accusations and declarations but light on actual...evidence. And they sometimes use some really nasty rhetoric against the idea that gg and dd might be gay.

Don't get me wrong, turtles get weird too. There's plenty of clearly false rumors, deceptively edited videos, silly stretches of logic, weird ideas of what how people in a relationship would act, etc. But there's at least enough English-speaking turtles that I can find some who are giving open and, as far as I can tell, accurate information (honestly, I find tumblr turtledom better at that then other platforms). I haven't really found a similar pocket of solo fans.

I'm also aware that there's always going to be a limit on how much I can know. I don't speak the language, so I'm always relying on translators. I have limited access to Weibo (even putting aside the language barrier, I'm in text confirmation limbo in actually getting an account), and I have little familiarity with the culture. I don't get a lot of the jokes or references, and stuff may strike me, an English-speaking American, differently than it would someone in China.

Add on top of that the fact that I'm trying to find out purposely obscured information about two celebrities, and, yeah, I'm fully aware that I'm on unsteady ground here. I can do my best, but I'm never going to know anything for certain.

But I've become okay with that.

It took a while. The dissatisfaction with the unknown (and unknowable) is what drove a lot of my early fixation and subsequent fall into the turtle pit. But now, especially after laying out my thoughts, I've reached a zen place with it. I'm 100% certain ggdd were together during filming/promo, and I'm 95% certain they're still together (I had this at 85% originally, but then the whole dd being sick and gg changing his schedule thing happened and I'm just...welp, guess I'm in this confidence interval, then).

Just having that certainty means I can enjoy updates from them without anguishing about "proof" or uncertainty. Oh, gg took the day off on dd's birthday? That's really sweet! I'm not gonna fuss about if it's coincidence ENOUGH to convince me, because I'm already convinced. It's a good place to be.

I typically don't care about celebrities. In fact, I've long been bewildered by celebrity culture here in the US, and I've often been actively annoyed when people assume/expect me to have opinions on things celebrities do. I'm the nerd who doesn't get why the actors get all the attention when the writer or director would be much more interesting.

So the fact that I've gone all fangirlish over two celebrities is bizarre to me, and I appreciate the irony. Well done, me. I attribute some of it to just being able to watch the bts and see their early interactions play out like a story. I find stories compelling, and both gg and dd are charismatic, attractive and have great chemistry. Whatever disdain I have for celebs, I do love a romance.

In my foray into the ggdd world, though, I've also had to learn more about c-ent, and y'all. It's nuts. Like, US entertainment is nuts too, but c-ent ratchets it up to 11. I've been in fandom a long time, and I thought I'd seen some weird stuff, but it's got nothing on c-ent. Just wrapping my head around the culture these guys are in took a lot of learning.

But I appreciate being able to dive into this culture and this country, because I knew very little about China beyond the antagonistic politics. It's been refreshing to get a view on life on the ground in China to humanize the folks there and get a clearer picture of the country.

I started this thing bc I had been spending so much time on Youtube watching clips, and I had thoughts and opinions and nowhere to put them. I already had a tumblr that I use to lurk on some fandoms and I had started following turtles too. I figured tumblr would be a decent place to splurge out my thoughts, so I set up a throwaway account to do so.

I get the vibe that a lot of new turtles come to bjyx through the same route I took? They watch The Untamed on Netflix. They get curious about the show and start watching some clips on YT. Next thing you know, they have 3 playlists full of purported "proof of love" and they need a whiteboard to connect everything together and their wife thinks they've gone completely bonkers supports them in all their oddities.

Like, I was really confused by turtles at first. I was just trying to watch bts videos on YouTube and I didn't know what bjyx meant, but the videos with the label were weird and had strange disclaimers that they were "only for turtles" and I had no clue what that even meant.

My confusion continued as I tried to read more. The fake story disclaimer convention is hella confusing as an outsider, and my first impression was that turtles were kinda crazy. The videos I saw gave overviews of candies without context, and some of them explicitly said they were proof of Yizhan love while still having that fake story disclaimer. Basically, it was a big confusing environment, and it's why I resisted buying into bjyx so hard for so long. It all seemed delulu.

But in reading more, I guess part of that is the point? Recognizing that gg and dd are in a vulnerable position should their relationship ever come out, having so much noise to muddy the waters makes a twisted, clownish sense. I don't know who came up with that convention or if it just kinda happened (is it a normal thing in c-ent? I don't know enough about celebrity fandoms), but hats off, I guess.

With the supertopic recently hitting 4 million active fans, there's something heartening about such a depth of support for the guys. I'm not naive enough to think all 4 million (plus international fans) are allies to LGBT folk in general, but it surely means something to ggdd to have that sort of support for their relationship. Honestly, it means something to me, as a random gay chick on the other side of the world, to see a gay couple get that kinda of support behind them.

I started watching the bts because I was afraid there'd be a lot of cynical homophobia on the set or some evidence of all the male cast being icked out by the whole thing. Instead, I got gg, who was so passionate about WWX being gay. I love that everybody knew they were telling a love story with as explicitly as they could get away with. I love that the guys wanted more Wangxian scenes and that the cast and crew made "everyday is everyday" jokes in a non-mocking way. I'm glad that the whole shoot seemed like such a positive environment for the cast and crew to being themselves and tell a type of story that they may not be able to be involved with ever again.

So, yes, this is my zen turtle place. When I set up a soapbox for myself, I didn't think too much about the fact that people would respond, but I'm so grateful to have had a chance to talk to some other turtles! Everybody is lovely and thank you for sharing my enthusiasm.

Like I said in the beginning, I don't have the time to keep super-active in the long-term. I had intended to write up my thoughts and poof away. But I do also plan to keep up with gg and dd and turtles, so instead I'm just gonna leave off with the potential for further posts down the line.

I'm not gonna be incredibly active, so please don't expect frequent updates or interactions from me. But if I have more Yizhan thoughts I'll pop up again with a post (I mean, I do have lots more thoughts, but nothing energizing enough to write about), or I'll leave a comment somewhere if I have something I simply must say. I'm also open to responding to asks about the timeline or anything else. And if I ever do stumble across anything groundbreaking with regards to the timeline, I'll probably add that in, because I'm particular about things being complete.

So thanks for being so welcoming! It's been a joy to clown around and make up completely fictional stories with everybody here. 🤡🐢🙇🏼

[arc-misadventures]

Rebirth AU question: does Jaune still have his white streaks in the new life? I think it be pretty cool if he did and since there is a real life condition called Poliosis it wouldn't be considered that wierd.

Family Bonding

Jeanne: Uhh, Jaune, is your hair turning white?

Jaune: Seems so…

Jeanne: Doesn’t that only happen when you’re old?

Jaune: Well, it was a side effect after I returned from the, Ever After. Maybe I just picked it up?

Jeanne: Well, while it’s a bit weird that, that’s happening to you, since everything that has happened to you. But, you looked absolutely great with those white streaks in your hair in our past life.

Jaune: I know, Rin absolutely loved it.

Jeanne: Rin absolutely loved you. Hell she had a daughter with you. Even if she knew you couldn’t be there for you, she loved you enough to conceive a child with you, and what a wonderful child she was.

Jaune: …

Jeanne: Jaune?

Jaune: …

Jeanne: Jaune, are you okay?

Jaune: This world is our second chance at life… my second chance of living a happier life. A life without the pain, and all the rage I endured in that life. And, if there’s anything, anything in this life I want more than anything else… I want the life I could have had with, Rin. I want to live my life with the daughter I never had… I want that happy life…

Jeanne: …

Jeanne: I thought you were fine with not being there for them?

Jaune: Not really… I was okay that I couldn’t be there to help her, but… I wish I was… I just wish I could have been there for the both of them. See her grow up, and become the fine woman, and huntress you said she became. I can’t help but feel like the deadbeat dad who abandoned his pregnant wife, and child. We were okay with what we did, but…

Jeanne: Don’t worry, Jaune, you’ll find her, and get to live that life you never had.

Jaune: I hope so… I know I plan to do that with, Pyrrha, and May if she’s here to. I want to live those lives I could only dream of.

Jeanne: Tell me… Is there… Anyone else you want to live those lives with…?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Maybe, Nora?

Jeanne: Jaune! You know I was talking about me!

Jaune: Hehehe! I know, Jeanne. It’s just…?!

: Ohhhh~!

JJ: …

: Mmmm-AH~!

Jaune: …

Jeanne: That’s not mom, is it?

Jaune: No… I think it’s…

: AHHHH~! That’s it darling, right there~!

JJ: Willow Schnee.

Jeanne: Well, that didn’t take as long as I hoped.

Jaune: Couldn’t wait until we were…

: Ohhh~! Right there baby~! Right there~!

Jeanne: Oh there’s, Mom!

Jaune: They’re having a threesome, good for them. We’re leaving now!

Jeanne: I’ve already sent a message to the others, they’re already heading to the storage house, and grabbing their gear.

Jaune: Okay, lets grab our usual stuff, and get the hell out of here!

Jeanne: We should also grab an extra sleeping bag, and at least a four person tent.

Jaune: What, why?

Jeanne: For, Winter. We aren’t leaving her here with that are we?

Jaune: No, that’s a good point, I didn’t even think about her. Lets go do that, but uhh… where is she?

Jeanne: I don’t know, do you have her number?

Jaune: Nope. You?

Jeanne: Me neither. Shit. We need to find, and quick. Before…

Winter: Before what?

Jaune: Ah! Winter! What fortuitous timing! We need to go, now!

Winter: Why?

Jeanne: The less said the better. Come on we have to go!

Winter: Not until I talk with my mother, then I’ll go on whatever it is you want me to go with you for.

Jeanne: That’s not a good idea.

Winter: Why not?

Jeanne: Well…!!

: OHHH YESSSSS~!

JJW: …

Winter: W-What… Was that…?

Jaune: By the gods! Were on the pouch, and we can still hear them!

Winter: Wait! Are you parents having sex; Was that your mother?!

JJ: That wasn’t our mother.

Winter: W-W-What…?!

: That’s it dear! OOOHHH YEAH~! Just like that~!

JJ: That’s our mom.

Winter: What?! What’s going on?!!

~~~

Winter: …

Winter: So… Considering how you had all this camping equipment just sitting there, you’ve had to do this before haven’t you?

Jaune: I think we were six the first time we did this.

Jeanne: Four; it was after Angela was born.

Jaune: Really? I don’t remember that.

Winter: Wait, this has been happening since you were four years old?!

Jeanne: Yeah pretty much.

Jaune: Yeah, if, Saphire’s pregnancy didn’t end up with, Mom being infertile, we would have at least six more siblings.

Jeanne: Luna’s probably already started a betting pool that we’ll have another one.

Winter: But, if your mother is infertile, that means what was that betting pool, Luna mentioned was all about?

Jeanne: That the betting pool, Luna made is on when it is born, if it’s a boy, or a girl, and if it’s twins.

Jaune: Good gods… please tell me she didn’t do that. Luna seriously didn’t make a betting pool on that!

Winter: WHAT?!! You degenerates are betting on whether, or not my mom gets pregnant?!

Jaune: Not me! I never take part in these bets. But, the rest of them are. And, if you think that’s bad, then I would love to hear your opinion on the betting pool involving me.

Winter: Do I want to…?

Jaune: Actually, I don’t want to hear your opinion on that..

Winter: Okaybthen.

Jeanne: The pool is on which sibling sleeps, and/or takes, Jaune’s virginity~!

Winter: What?!

Jaune: Jeanne?!

Jeanne: I’m currently holding the lead~! While you coming into the top ten, Winter.

Winter: I’m in the top ten…? No wait! I’m on the list?!

Jaune: And, you wondered why I wanted to shank one of my sisters with a rusty spoon.

Winter: Oh good gods… I thought dealing with, Weiss, and Whitely’s antics was a nightmare. But, the rest of my siblings are worse… So, so much worse.

Jaune: Siblings…? You referred to us as, ‘siblings.’

Jeanne: Do you see us as your siblings, Winter?

Winter: …

Winter: I’ve only been around you guys for a week… I’ll acknowledge that we are siblings by blood, but by bond… I… I need more time…

Jeanne: Take your time, we’ll be here when you need us, Oneesan.

Winter: Grk! Good gods why does that hit so hard?!

Jaune: You’re not used to genuine love, and affection.

Winter: You heard me?!

JJ: Yep!

Winter: You two are unnerving in how surprising you can be… You two are exceptionally skilled students, too skilled in fact. You have incredibly strong, and versatile semblances that you know the ins, and outs of by heart. You seem to have extreme knowledge about me, and my family. Even about things I never told you about… None of this makes sense. What are you…?

Jaune: We get that a lot… Were just a pair of hunters-in-training, nothing more.

Winter: Nonetheless, you two know quite a lot about me, especially you, Jeanne. Why is that??

Jeanne: Even if we told you, you wouldn’t believe us. I wouldn’t believe it, and I was a part of it.

Winter: Try me.

Jaune: Should we…? She is family after all.

Jeanne: By blood, but not by bond.

Jaune: She must earn the rights to our secrets then?

Jeanne: Yep, and I have the perfect way she can earn it!

Winter: How?

Jeanne: Specialist have a special program that allows you to take on a protégé, correct?

Winter: It does, why do you…?! Wait, you want me to be your mentor?!

Jeanne: Yep, I shall become your beautiful little protégé~! What do you say?

Winter: You can’t be serious.

Jeanne: Why not? You’ve seen how good I am, I wouldn’t be a burden to you.

Winter: …

Jeanne: Come on, it would be a great learning experience for me! Imagine all the things you could teach me!

Winter: I don’t know…

Jeanne: I’ll give you a hug if you say yes~?

Winter: You seriously think that would work, on me no less?

Jeanne: Yes.

Winter: …

Winter: Haaa… It will take some explaining to my superiors. But, fine… I will take you on as my protégé.

Jeanne: Whoo! Thanks, Winter!

Winter: Yes, yes, you’re very welcome… Please let go of me…

Jeanne: No~!

Winter: Grrrrr…!

Jaune: When did you decide on doing this, Jeanne.

Jeanne: A while after our first duel. Since you’re leaving to, Vale to do some training with our uncle. I thought, why can’t I do the same with my, Oneesan?

Jaune: Fair, but are you really okay with this, Winter. Jeanne can be a bit of a handful, especially when using her semblance.

Winter: Jeanne will be an exceptionally skilled, Huntress. The skill she has shown me will prove that to be true. While she does seem a bit unruly, I think she will go far. And… Why not spend more time with my little sister?

Jeanne: (Gasp!) Oneesan~!

Winter: Grk?! Jeanne?! Let go! You’re chocking me!

Jaune: Well, everything seems fine then. Now come on, we got a fire going, lets have ourselves some smores!

Jeanne: Yes! Smores!

Winter: Uhhh… what’s a smore?

JJ: …

Jeanne: What blasphemy is this…?!

Winter: W-What?

Jaune: No wonder she’s so uptight; she doesn’t even know what a smore is!

Winter: Excuse me?!

[hana-no-seiiki]

お客様は神様　(THE GUEST IS GOD)

HOST CLUB PREPARATIONS / PROLOGUE - 女中 [THE MAID]

YANDERE GUEST X GENDER NEUTRAL! HOST CLUB WORKER! READER X (IMPLIED) YANDERE/YANGIRE BOSS + COWORKERS

waiver: the place is set in “japan” ,characters speak in japanese, so if you don’t like honorifics or terms (e.g. senpai, san, sama) then uh yeah. this doesn’t mean your character has to be japanese though! i’ve added a lot of “foreigner”characters so it wouldn’t be weird for you to be one as well.

mc is a total bitch and a half. like an absolute asshole.

sexual harassment, sexual assault, yandere guest gropes your everywhere and forces you to grope him, violence.

Reminder that the Guest is God Host Club isn’t responsible for any injuries and/or deaths that happen. please take proper precautions, honorable guests!

host description: drunk out of his mind, your apparent “ex” starts harassing you in the host club you happen to be serving in.

and as much as you’d love to punch him into oblivion, it is imperative you show him as good time.

the guest of this place is god after all.

host status: unedited, will add images later on.

more about the host: THIS IS AN INTRODUCTORY POST TO MY OCS AND MY WEBTOON CONCEPTS. Final OC designs might be incredibly different in the webtoon itself.

although reader may be called a maid, they aren’t explicitly fem. they will be using gender neutral pronouns.

MINORS / PEOPLE WITH NO IDS (AGELESS BLOGS) AREN’T ALLOWED TO ENTER.

If you’d like to be updated for when we next open, please reply to this post to be subscribed to our taglist!

YOU WERE AWFULLY FORTUNATE WHEN IT CAME TO FINANCIAL MATTERS. You had rich benefactors (whoever they were) and enough money to live several lifetimes in comfort. Despite not knowing where all this wealth came from, you learnt to just be content with your ignorance. It wasn’t as if it was threatening your life, and the stream of money was always consistent in terms of amount and the dates it came in.

But that is exactly why you found yourself in this situation.

It started from one of your days lounging at your extravagant penthouse apartment. With nothing to do but play games and throw money at fictional characters, and escorts. You were fine with your lavish yet miserably lonely lifestyle. So, it was safe to say you were surprised to have suddenly received an envelop on your doorstep.

It was red with shiny accents of spider lilies. You open it to see a letter (what a suprise!). It seemed handwritten, judging from the slight differences some letters appeared but still high quality none the less.

You’ve watched enough survival games to know where this was going.

And sure enough, you were forced into a job as someone that serves and accommodates guests.

These guest varied from people you’ve never even met before, to friends and even people you loathed.

Like the one you’re facing right now.

You weren’t supposed to accommodate this guest at all, in fact, you were already done with your shift. But as you were unzipping the maid costume you were forced to wear during workdays, you hear timid voice from behind you.

“U-uhm…[L/N]-先輩…”

Hazu, a tall but extremely shy co-worker of yours called your name.

His costume was completely different from yours. Sporting a suit with fetish-wear straps that accentuated his long legs, and a pair of short whore gloves, Hazu was forced by your employer to play the “Dom/Sadist” archetype.

And, like you in the beginning, was terrible at it.

“Let me guess, your guest is a hard sub and you’re having trouble keeping up?”

“N-no. I think they were mi-mis-categorized!” Hazu made fists and shook them in air in frustration. What a cutie. “I mean, seriously! He seems more like a sadist! He kept insulting my height! I’m just a little above average d-damn it!”

You placed a hand on his hair. Soft, and fluffy brown, you always tried to make an excuse to touch it before. But nowadays you just touched it whenever you two had overlapping shifts. Which happened to be most days, lucky you.

“Your 先輩 will take care of it then.” Hazu melts under your touch. You always managed to disintegrate any and all anxieties he faced. It was miraculous really. He’d always been a nervous person. But the way you almost parented him, checked on him every step of his journey towards graduation, provided him with his favorite food just so he gains that extra bit of comfortability… you…you were just perfect in every way.

If only he knew the side of you that comes out after shifts.

“If he tries to hurt you…”

“If he tries hurting me our boss and/or bodyguard will deal with it. Don’t worry too much okay? Take care.”

And you left, not bothering to wait for a response. You wanted this night to be done and dealt with. You had hobbies to get to, and your darling spouse (that is your bed) to greet when you came home.

You sighed as you left the staff room.

“Useless piece of shit.”

“お客様—“

“[Y/N]? Hah! It is you!” The man, Hazu’s ex guest, yelled into your ear. His breath reeked of alcohol.

And you had no recollection of ever meeting him.

He had white hair, shaved at the sides, and green eyes that reminded you of pine trees. Piercings on his ears, nose and below his lips. He wore jewelry all over his hands and a collar.

With your name on it.

Shit.

“What, yer family’s money finally gone down the drain?” His hands moved to grope every part of your body. It was that moment when you realized he might not be the delusional asshole you pegged him to be.

He knew just the places you were sensitive in. His hands felt so familiar,

yet so wrong at the same time.

“Nah it couldn’t have been, shit like that is impossible to lose easily.”

He was right. Even if you tried to blow away all the money you held it was almost impossible to go into debt. Any time you went past your budget and checked, it would have been already been paid by your anonymous benefactor.

You wondered if they knew the situation you were in, and why the hell they haven’t done anything to save you yet.

You eventually broke out of the man’s hold, it wasn’t hard considering he was drunk. “お客様, kindly move aside so that this lowly servant may be able to clean your seat.”

“You’re doing this for some weird fetish aren’t you? Just like how-“ He gagged, and you were about to bolt in case he threw up again but thankfully he didn’t, “Just like how you used me *hic* so that you’d be the most popular or whatever.”

He pulled you closer again. In a few moments, you found him atop the mess he made earlier and you above his lap. You took a deep breath and prayed to everything that is holy for him to not barf on you or your uniform touching whatever it is he vomited on the couch.

But he only stared at you. Your features. Traced every part with a soft look on his face that you wanted oh so dearly to rip off of him for some reason.

Scratch that, you did have a specific reason and that was his hard-on that you can feel poking your ass.

“お客様—“

“Fuck, I’m hard.”

Yeah, you could tell.

“[Y/N]. You feel this right?”

‘Yes.’ You glared at him, biting your lip to ensure you didn’t say anything that would go on record and make your boss go nuts again for going out of character. Whoever this man was, he was definitely lucky he found you in uniform. In any other place or situation you would have definitely destroyed his family jewels at this point.

“I fucked *hic* so many whores but none of them where like *hic* you.”

‘Fucking horndog.’

“Hey, [Y/N]. Let’s get back together, alright? I miss you baby. I know you miss me too.”

He leaned forward and your lips almost touched if it weren’t for metallic claws ripping him away from you.

His mangled body, though still alive, would definitely have to go through several months in the hospital if not a whole year to recover. His blood mixed with the filth that covered the floor and furniture.

‘Finally.’ You adjusted your uniform and began sanitizing everything.

“Excellent show of self control, Mx. [L/N].” You heard clapping behind you.

“It is all thanks to you, sir Melchior.” You stood up and immediately gave him a 90 degree bow. Your tools hidden behind you.

“Oh, you flatterer!” His golden eyes shone even under the dim lighting.

Although Aurum Melchior, your boss, was old enough to be your grandfather at this point. The years adored him. He looked breathtakingly handsome for a man whose silver hair overtook his blond ones ages ago.

He wore a dark grey suit, with a long fur coat on his shoulders. The threatening grin on his face never left him whenever he faced your form.

“But it seems that I’m who’d like this fool gone. You know, murder is quite a big sentence to deal with . . .”

“Oh but is it really murder if there are no witnesses?”

“Touché.” The cane he always brought around despite being able to walk properly poked and prodded at your guest’s unconscious face. “Bear. Get rid of the drunkard.”

A woman with a bear mask behind him nodded, carrying the body and quickly making an exit. How she did so with those sharp claws, you never knew nor did you ever want to. Ursa wasn’t really much of a talker anyways.

Besides, you preferred her silent yet efficient attitude in comparison to blabbering messes most of your co-workers are. Seriously, the amount of times you had to comfort Hazu was uncountable. You could unconsciously feel the tears and snot running down your shoulders. Why couldn’t he just get a move on and get with the persona given to him already?

“Au revoir, Mx. [L/N]. There are still many shifts until your graduation.”

“Have a pleasant night, boss.”

“Have a pleasant night.”

THANK YOU FOR VISITING THE GUEST IS GOD HOST CLUB!

Have these, free of service!

先輩 - senpai - senior (work/school)

お客様 - okyakusama - honorable guest/visitor

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[snowflakeanimelover]

Helloo, I'm really excited to req to you again! (until now I didn't have any req ideas..). May I req HCs of “Man. I was hoping you'd fall asleep in my arms.”, GN reader with Hirako (Bleach), Yato (Noragami), Edward (Fullmetal Alchemist) please? So maybe the movies could be the boring/not interested one he chose/picked but reader become invested in watching it that they ignore him?

Ahh im glad you like my writing :) Sorry this came out late!

Prompt HCs(Shinji Hirako/Yato/Edward Elric)

Prompt: “Man. I was hoping you’d fall asleep in my arms.”

Shinji Hirako

He really didn’t expect you to be so invested in such a dull movie. He picked it on purpose, expecting you to be bored out of your mind and fall asleep in his arms.

A coward he may be, but clever nonetheless. If he was too shy to tell you how he felt, then why not figure out a way to get you to fall for him?

But, when the fall doesn’t happen, he turns to find you very concentrated in the movie.

That's when he had no choice but to push.

“Man. I was hoping you’d fall asleep in my arms.” He tried to sound bored, glancing here and there at you. 

He thought he didn’t get a reaction from you, but after a few long minutes, you’re looking right at him with wide eyes. He returned the look, concerned if what he said was something he shouldn’t have said. He wasn’t expecting such a face from you.

“What?” He asks you.

“W-well…um…I just wasn’t expecting that from you,” you mumble, “w-were you trying to get me to do that?”

Shinji looked away in embarrassment, scratching his chin nervously. “I mean…it was an attempt. Did it work?”

Your face was red, making him smirk in slight victory. “Uh…it does sound appealing.” 

He opens his arms for you to rest on his chest. He couldn't be anymore happier, knowing that he managed to get you in his arms.

Yato

It was selfish, he knows, but he couldn’t keep it to himself any longer. As much as he cares for you, he just never found the time to admit how much he loves you to your face. So, he figured this just might do the trick. 

To his surprise, though, he finds you so invested in the movie that was supposed to be boring for you. 

He knows you to be the type to fall asleep if you were to get bored, so he for sure knew this would work. Apparently, he didn’t know you as well as he thought.

“Man…I was hoping you’d fall asleep in my arms.” He mumbled to himself. But he didn’t realize he said it aloud to where you could hear. He watched your eyes slightly widen as you watched the TV, slowly turning your head to him.

“H-huh?” You gasp lightly.

He already dug himself, might as well continue. “I mean…that’s uh…if you wanted to…?” Smooth, Yato. Real smooth.

You smiled and chuckled at his weird behavior. But you nodded and instinctively yawned. “Sure.” 

He couldn’t feel anymore happier in his life. He couldn’t believe it actually worked, and he forsees his future to use this tactic whenever there was a good opportunity.

Edward Elric

Television was always something boring in daily life. To Edward, at least. He’d rather go around and chase bad people or train than sit and watch something. But such an opportunity couldn’t be missed. 

As often as his little brother nags him for never telling you his feelings, he feels pretty proud of himself at this moment. That is, until you didn’t fall asleep like he was hoping. 

I couldn’t stop staring at you as you watched the television so intently. How could you like news on crime going around town on a night like this? He simply couldn’t understand you, but that's why he loves you. 

Soon enough, you caught him staring at you. “What? Is there something on my face?”

He quickly cleared his throat, finally taking his eyes off of you. “Well….to be honest…I was hoping you'd fall asleep in my arms.”

“What?” You deadpan. This was not like the Edward you knew. If anything, he’d have training on his mind instead of someone he cares about. “What’s gotten into you?”

Now, he had to think of something. Of course, he didn’t have the guts to tell you his feelings at this moment, so instead, he thought of something else. “I just…I have a lot on my mind and need comfort.” He declares, head held high as if he is proud of something.

You raised your eyebrow. You weren't sure whether to believe him, but it isn’t really too far from the truth. As much as he’s gone through, it’s not surprising that he would need comfort here and there. With a sigh, you let yourself fall onto his shoulder. “Better?” You ask him as you slowly grow more comfortable leaning on him.

He nods slowly, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “Y-Yeah…”

[sasusakucoded]

tw: suicidal thoughts

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Sarada: I wish I'm mentally strong like you and Papa.. *frowns*

Sakura: *pats her back* I'd say your Papa's mental fortitude is the toughest..

Sarada: Really? I think so too.

Sakura: Don't get me wrong though.. Mental toughness doesn't mean he didn't have suicidal thoughts—

Sarada: Wait, he had? I mean I would too if I experienced everything he went through.. But he's.. He's Papa.. He's Uchiha Sasuke..

Sakura: I think everyone thought the same.. Even me, to be honest. He's an Uchiha. He must be strong in all aspects.. *smiles sadly* But then, he was also just a boy. An orphan.. He felt alone so many times..

Sarada: Whenever I think of how Papa suffered when he was a kid, I feel like my issues are too trivial.

Sakura: No, don't think that way. Everything you feel is valid. It doesn't need to be something grand to feel overwhelmed.. You know what, why don't you talk to your Papa instead? He's well versed to talk about these things.

Sarada: I'm shy.. And like what I said, my problems are nothing compared to Papa's.

---

Sarada: *hears knocking*

Sasuke: May I come in, Sarada?

Sarada: Yes, Papa!

Sasuke: *hugs her tight*

Sarada: Pa—pa! You're squishing me.

Sasuke: *not letting go* You are my child after all.

Sarada: Papa? Wait, did Mama—

Sasuke: *looks at her face; nods* Whatever you're feeling, just know that it's normal.. If you're willing to share it with me or Sakura, please do so.

Sarada: Papa.. Mama said y-you had— You had—

Sasuke: Suicidal thoughts?

Sarada: *nods*

Sasuke: Yes. I think the first time I had it was when I was 8. How was I supposed to live when the very reason for living was gone?

Sarada: Papa..

Sasuke: It's weird because sometimes I felt okay.. But if I saw an opportunity to end my life, I was having second thoughts. It was the easiest way out, you know.

Sarada: B-But you're strong, Papa. You were able to fight those thoughts off.

Sasuke: Because I was blinded by revenge too.. It's funny because both are negative, but the latter kept me going.

Sarada: Are you still— Nevermind.

Sasuke: I told you, you can ask me anything, Sarada. Were you asking if I'm still having those thoughts now?

Sarada: Yes.. Sorry Papa..

Sasuke: I haven't.. After my fight against Naruto in the Valley of the End, never again.

Sarada: Lord Seventh?

Sasuke: *nods* I lost that fight.

Sarada: You were both beaten up, right? Wasn't it a tie?

Sasuke: Yeah. But, I lost to Naruto in the sense that I finally accepted that we had bonds.. And that I didn't want to cut them at all.

Sarada: *smiles*

Sasuke: I really wanted to die at that moment. I had nothing to lose, but had everything to gain. For one, I'd be with my family finally. I'd be with the people— the only people who truly cared about me, or so I thought.. I didn't have to think about how the others would react if I return.. I didn't have to explain myself. But..

Sarada: But?

Sasuke: But Naruto made me realize that there are still people who care about me. Him. Sakura. Kakashi. Even the others. They're not my blood relatives but they're my family.

Sarada: That pushed you forward?

Sasuke: That was enough to make me live and try again..

Sarada: ...

Sasuke: But believe me, Sarada. I had many suicidal thoughts before that. I didn't care if I was being reckless because whatever happened, I was ready. If I succeeded, good. If I get killed, good..

Sarada: Who do you talk to during that time, Papa?

Sasuke: No one. I never told anyone. Actually, I only told your mom when we're already adults.. It was hard.. But once you have a person who will listen without judgment, it will be a lot easier. Sakura is my person.

Sarada: *smiles and nods*

Sasuke: And of course when you were born, I had more reason to live. I'd do anything to keep myself alive. I promised myself that I'll be with my family, whatever it takes.

Sarada: Thank you, Papa.. *smiles*

Sasuke: It doesn't have to be us, Sarada. But know that your mom and I are always here for you.

Sarada: *smiles widely*

Sasuke: That smile.. I hope that's a happy smile. Sometimes the smiliest people have the worst problems.

Sarada: This is a happy smile, Papa! I promise!

Sasuke: *pokes her forehead* You're young and you're allowed to be sad, anxious, scared.. But remember, you don't need to carry the burden all by yourself. *gets a small notebook from his vest; and gives it to Sarada*

Sarada: W-What's this?

Sasuke: It will be our communication notebook since we're not good at verbally expressing our feelings. You write down anything in your mind. Your mom and I will do the same.

Sarada: *opens the notebook* Oh, you've written something already.

How's my dear Sarada? Everything will be alright. I'll cook your favorite food in the coming days to boost your morale. I love you, dear! —Mama

Sarada, I'll be here until you feel better. It doesn't matter if I need to decline a number of missions. Always remember that you're an Uchiha (the best so far) and this is nothing. —Papa

Sarada: *starts crying; gets her pen and writes down*

Mama, Papa, you have always been my rock. You don't know how much your words mean to me. I promise to be more open with you. I will keep fighting like a true Uchiha. I love you both so much. Thank you!

Sarada: *gives it to Sasuke; hugs him*

Sasuke: Let's show it to your Mama?

Sarada: Yes!