#literally I don’t have a problem with people having fun on the internet

[dontbother-illfigureitoutmyself]

I saw another post about the Zepotha thing on tiktok and I wanted to throw in my two cents.

At first I was confused why everyone was just saying the same thing and then I was mad when I found out that it was supposed to be a joke about a fake movie or tv show or whatever the fuck.

It reminded me of Goncharov and how differently tumblr users handled that trend.

I think the thing that makes me so mad about the tiktok trend is that it’s so unoriginal and so unfunny it’s actually infuriating. Especially when the creator of the tiktok thats receiving comments like this also doesn’t understand what’s going on. Every other week there’s a new trend on tiktok of a bunch of people spam commenting some random “inside joke” phrase and they think it makes them cool. And when someone kindly explains that zepotha isn’t a real thing they get all defensive and nasty.

What would be cool and funny is if the fandom or the creator has an inside joke or a phrase that the fans say or comment because then everyone is in on it and it’s like a community thing. Like commenting some random comment on some random tiktok isn’t funny.

The thing about goncharov that made it so great was that EVERYONE was in on the joke (on tumblr anyway). Everyone could participate. Everyone was adding their ideas. It was collaborative and it was fun and everyone was right.

Commenting “you look like _____ from zepotha” on every tiktok you see and then refusing to include people in on the joke isn’t funny and it’s not cool.

Like I don’t want this to seem like I hate it when people have fun or I hate trends or whatever. Because I don’t. I literally don’t care what you do for fun and I love trends. But you don’t have to be mean about it when someone is trying to understand/learn more. If your version of fun is telling this inside joke and then actively excluding other people and getting upset when someone explains the joke I think you need to reevaluate.

[icaruspendragon]

i think the most unexpected part of being a content creator has been just how much parasocial relationships warped my perspective.

like i knew sharing parts of my life with strangers on the internet would mean that even if they didn’t feel like i was a stranger to them, they were all still strangers to me.

and i share more parts of myself online than most. so lots of these people really do know so many things about me, and because of that, sometimes i forget they’re strangers who don’t actually know me.

like someone will leave a comment that i think is funny so i share it with my groupchat and they’ll be like, “berklie, this is actually a really weird thing for a stranger to say to you.” and my response is almost always “oh. 🧍🏻‍♂️”

it’s like i’ve gotten desensitized to people saying what most would consider out of pocket stuff to me. or maybe my threshold for what i consider out of pocket is higher than it should be.

i’m incredibly fortunate in that 99% of what’s said to me is lovely and respectful and that the vast majority of my audience treats me with kindness.

there’s so much talk about people having parasocial relationships, but no one really talks about what it’s like to be on the receiving end of those relationships. and like i know that no one is making me put myself out there like this, that it’s a choice i willingly make.

and i’ve been on the internet for 13 years now, which is literally half my life. i know what it’s like.

i was on this site in 2012 and fanfic.net in 2011. i know how awful and vile anonymity makes some folks get, but there’s a purgatory-esque space i didn’t know existed. and that space is where people aren’t mean, but they aren’t exactly nice, either. they’re weird. and not in a fun way. they’re invasive. and i’ve been exposed to it for so long i only notice when it’s extreme.

and if you follow me and you read this and are thinking, oh god. is she talking about me? the answer is no, i’m not.

i have lots of folks, especially those who comment/interact frequently, that i think of as my “regulars.” these are people i recognize and even go so far as to think about outside of whatever platform i’m posting on. and even if they don’t interact with my content super frequently, i recognize these users. i remember a lot more about people than folks might think.

these people aren’t the problem.

it’s the people who see i’m a person but forget that i’m human, if that makes sense. like of course people objectively know i’m a person. but i think sometimes they forget i’m human. and that i can read. and that i have feelings.

there have been several times where i called someone out for saying inappropriate shit to me and their response has been, “i’m so sorry. i didn’t think you’d see it.”

but i do see it. even if i don’t publicly acknowledge it, i see everything.

i think some people think just because they see more of me that i can’t see any of them. but i do.

so please, please remember i may just be a person that lives in your phone to you, but i’m a human who lives outside of it, too.

regardless of familiarity, i deserve to be treated like i have an existence outside of people’s screens. because i do.

despite appearances or perspective, at the end of the day, i’m just like you.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta if i asked someone to adjust how they’re writing a blind character?

this is also rp related 👋 i’m 24. you can use any pronouns for me. i’m legally blind and use screen readers to navigate the internet. i work from home which gives me a lot of freedom, so i fill my time in multi fandom rp servers. they’re a lot of fun, usually

in one server i’m in, there’s someone (28nb) writing a blind character. it’s not an oc of theirs, and the source the character is from is sort of… bad at handling the character’s disability. not offensively bad, it’s just obvious the writers didn’t put much thought into it

i know the person writing the character is not blind. here is my problem: the way they write this character concerning their disability is just… it’s really uncomfortable. the first thing i noted was that they went out of their way to mention the character is blind at basically every opportunity. most conventions the character is in they end up bringing it up, like it’s the default topic they turn to when roleplaying the character. and obviously, as a blind person, i understand it’s a big part of our lives, but to bring it up every single conversation? they had the character make an offhand comment about how they would probably struggle to learn the names of the stores in the area (??? i assume because they wouldn’t be able to read the signs, but there are plenty of other ways to learn store names?) and in another instance the character asked another character to do a google search for them, claiming they couldn’t do it themself. there are just a lot of instances of them obviously over exaggerating how difficult some mundane tasks would be for a person who is blind, in a way that comes off as belittling

the thing that really got to me though is the fact that - despite writing a character who uses a screen reader - this person clearly as no idea how screen readers function or what they do. ic, their character (character a) fussed at another character (character b) for having a slightly erratic typing style. character b does make a lot of typos, but their messages are by no means unreadable. screen readers can be pretty smart and often know how to sound things out. but character a was making a stink about character b saying things like “oki” claiming it was unreadable. any actual, decent screen reader wouldn’t have a problem with that. my screen reader doesn’t have a problem with it, i can interact with character b fine and i always have. i was literally sitting there listening to them complain about messages being unreadable by a screen reader and using a screen reader to understand those “unreadable” messages

it’s so, so obvious that this person has but no work or effort at all into understanding the disability they are trying to write here. it’s extremely uncomfortable. i don’t think it’s done out of malice, but it is lazy and, i’ll say it, reeks of ableism. on one hand i feel bad for trying to dictate how people write their characters, but on the other i feel justified in pointing it out, as someone who is blind. but also this is a casual rp server for fun so it’s… maybe not a big deal? wibta if i asked them to maybe do some research and fix their writing accordingly?

What are these acronyms?

[luxaofhesperides]

greener on the other side.

Danny makes a habit out of hopping into portals and exploring he places he ends up. It just so happens that this time, he ends up in Gotham right as the Signal begins his patrol. Duke meets the strangest, funniest, cutest guy on the roof of the Gotham City Public Library. He knows Batman would not approve of literally anything he’s doing, but sue him, he wants a meta friend and this guy seems to up for it. – OR: how Duke and Danny got together despite having secret identities and living different dimensions.

chapter two: how it grows - 10.7k

read chapter one here or the entire fic on ao3.

here's the duke pov! one chapter left from danny's pov, then this fic is complete and i can get started on the rest of the series focusing on their relationship! . . .

Duke doesn’t like to make a big deal of things. He’ll try to handle things on his own and roll with the punches. As long as he keeps his cool, things will work out. 

Unfortunately, feelings are not one of the things that just ‘work out on their own’ and he has to admit that he might just need some outside help for this. The problem, then, becomes a question of who he can go to.

He’s come a long way since he was part of the We Are Robin gang and knows that he can rely on the rest of the Bats for help. He’s one of them, something that still feels surreal when he thinks about it for too long, but Duke has his place with them both in and out of the mask. He gets along well enough with Damian, trains often with Jason, bothers Dick for help when he gets in over his head, and makes fun of Bruce with Tim and Cass and Steph. 

They’re good people and he trusts them. They’re messy, with lots of history and fights between them all, but what family isn’t like that? 

They’re good people and he wants to ask them for help, but Duke can’t bring himself to go to the Manor. They’re all just… Some of the advice they give him for his civilian life is suspect at best. So instead, he’s going back to Jay’s house, hoping his cousin will have some normal advice for him.

Though he spends a decent amount of time with the Waynes, Jay technically still has custody of him; Duke doesn’t want to leave his family behind at all, not if he has any other choice, but he knows that looking after a teenager while being single and not having the biggest paycheck is stressful. Plus, it allows less time for any resentment to spring up between them with the amount of secrets Duke is hiding from him. 

As unprepared for him as Jay was, he still does his best. He’s waiting in the living room when Duke arrives, dropping his keys into the dish on the side table in the entrance hallway. A bowl of popcorn and two glasses of ice tea are set on the coffee table and Duke gladly takes one and drinks half in one go before he even sits down.

“Alright, man,” Jay says, “What’s going on? You never ask me for advice.”

Duke sighs. “It’s, uh… dating problems? I guess?”

“You guess?”

“I don’t actually know if it was a date or not and I need a second opinion.”

Jay gives him a long look. “Usually, just having to ask tends to mean it was a date and you just didn’t notice in time. You getting back with that Izzy girl?”

“No! We both decided to stay friends, and it’s not like we’ve been hanging out much at all since the break up. This is someone new.”

“Anyone I know?”

“Nah, he doesn’t live in Gotham.”

The smile falls from Jay’s face and he leans closer to Duke, suddenly growing serious. “If this is an internet friend, I’m going to have to lecture you on stranger danger. Come on man, I know you’re smarter than that.”

Duke shakes his head, pushing his cousin back into the couch. “No! No, no, definitely not! Do you really think I don’t know anything about internet safety? Not the point. The point is, he’s from out of town and he’s really cute and I spent most of yesterday just hanging out with him and took him to the best food trucks I could find. Was that a date?”

“Honestly? Sounds like it. Good for you man. Just make sure to let him know if you want the next one to officially be a date.”

See? Simple, normal advice. Jay is just telling him to communicate like a normal person. It’s not that simple, of course, since Duke isn’t going as Duke but as The Signal, but it’s still good advice. Once he finds the courage to ask Danny out on a proper date, he’ll do it in a way that leaves no confusion.

It won’t be any time soon, though. Not when they’ve just met and Danny doesn’t even know his name.

“It’s that easy, huh?”

“Sure is,” Jay grins. “How do you think I got all the girls when I was in school?”

“Is that also why you can’t get any dates now?”

“Alright, you little shit,” Jay laughs, throwing an arm around Duke’s shoulders to trap him in a noogie. “See if I give you advice ever again. Is this the thanks I get for looking after you?”

Duke can break free from his grip easily, but it’s been so long since he had a nice, easy interaction with his cousin that he just sinks into it, laughing. Time apart has made things better between them; there’s less stress involved with hiding his identity, and Jay isn’t worried out of his mind about raising Duke right while also making enough for rent and groceries. 

“You staying the night?” Jay asks, finally releasing Duke.

“Nah, the Waynes want me over for game night and I really wanna see them try to kill each other. But I got a couple of hours until they’re expecting me.”

“Up for a movie?”

“Is it another zombie movie?”

“You know it.”

Duke shrugs. “Sure, put it on and I’ll try not to laugh too hard when you get scared.”

It’s nice and lets his mind finally stop spinning in circles, going over everything he can remember from his not-date with Danny. He’s missed spending time with his cousin even if living away from him is a lot less stressful. As great as the Waynes are, they can’t give him this.

What they can give him is chaos and embarrassment.

“Caught you slacking yesterday,” Jason says casually as he drops onto the couch next to him. Both of them watch as Steph and Damian team up to kill Bruce for taking all their properties in Monopoly, and Duke suddenly has a feeling that he should have stayed with Jay after all.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replies, “I’m never slacking as the Signal. I’ve never done a single thing wrong, ever, in my life.”

“Didn’t you lead a gang?”

“Didn’t you decapitate eight men?”

Jason pinches his side in retaliation, making Duke jump. “So, you pulling a Superman? Flirting with a civilian you saved?”

They didn’t go anywhere near Crime Alley. How did Jason just happen to stumble across them? He probably should have expected someone to have spotted him. None of the Waynes care too much for other people’s privacy. 

“No,” Duke says slowly. He is flirting with a civilian, but Danny is not someone he saved. Danny is someone who helped him out when fighting crime, and is fun to be with. “I was just showing him around Gotham?”

Jason’s eyebrows go up. “An out of towner? Didn’t think they’d have the balls the stay in Gotham longer than a few hours.”

“Yeah, well, he’s not one to be scared away so easily.”

“And does this someone have a name? If he’s spending time with you, I wanna know his name.”

Duke side eyes him. “Why do you want to know?”

“Look, it’s good to keep an eye on any civilian that gets close to us. In case they’re a threat, and in case they get caught up in the bullshit that saturates every part of our lives. The longer they’re with us, the more danger they’re in. But I can help you look out for him. So: name?”

That is… a depressingly good point. Duke can’t save everyone despite how hard he tries. It would be good to have someone else looking out of Danny while he’s in Gotham, just in case. 

“Danny. His name’s Danny.”

“No last name?”

“I don’t know it. Look man, I only met him two days ago. He’s a meta like me and he’s not from Gotham. That’s about all I know.”

“That’s it?”

“Again, we literally just met. If he decides to keep coming around, then I’ll learn more about him.”

Jason gives him an assessing look, then gives him a sharp grin. “Oh, I’m sure he’ll be coming back for you. Boy was giving you doe eyes the entire time he was with you. Don’t drag him along too much, yeah? Poor thing’s got it bad for you.”

“He does not!”

“I’m not blind, Narrows. And I know you saw it too.”

That’s the problem. He did see how flustered and cute Danny was around him, always finding some way to bump into him or have their arms brush as they stood around, always sticking close as they soared through the air almost close enough to hug. It was cute, so adorable that Duke wanted to squish his cheeks and also lie face down on the ground. But it wasn’t Duke who was causing Danny to blush was the slightest of touches. It was the Signal, the daytime hero, and Duke knows they can’t build anything good together when it’s built on a foundation of secrets. 

Danny’s got his own secrets too. Being a meta is only one of them and he’s not sure he’ll ever get to know those parts of Danny when the guy can just choose to never return to Gotham again. 

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to try. It’s stupid and reckless when they’ve only known each other for two days but no one has ever made him feel so normal before. Even in the midst of using their powers and hopping around Gotham fighting crime, there was a sense that they understood each other, that their lives rhymed and it made everything so easy and comfortable between them.

“And?” Duke sighs. “He doesn’t even know my name. It’s not really anything right now, okay? We just get each other and it’s nice to spend time with someone like that.”

“Want me to find him for you?”

“Please don’t.”

Jason shrugs. “Alright, your loss.” He looks back to where Bruce is calmly stealing Steph’s Monopoly money as she has her arms around his throat, trying to choke him as she clings to his back. Damian is trying to steal everything back. None of them have caught on to the fact that Tim and Cass have teamed up and have taken over the bank and are steadily taking properties on the board, fully and shamelessly cheating. 

He’s so glad he chose to sit this game out. 

Jason seems content with leaving the conversation there, so Duke cuts his losses and leaves before Tim and Cass have to fend off everyone else and turn this entire game night into a blood bath. 

It’s not like anyone’s going to win against Cass anyways.

Duke fully intends to go up to his room and get a full eight hours of sleep while everyone else goes on patrol. He’ll take some time to think about how excited he is to see Danny again when he brings his friends over next week, but only for a bit. His sleep is so important.

Batman could never compare to how much he values his sleep.

He’s got good priorities, okay? He’s not changing them for anything.

Instead of sleeping, though, he ends up laying on his bed for hours, all his thoughts swirling around in a restless tangle. This is why he can’t ask the Waynes for advice on Normal People Shit. They just make him overly paranoid and sure that everything is going to go wrong. 

Danny’s a mystery. He didn’t feel like one when they met; Danny was just an average citizen standing on top of a building, and the Signal had a duty to check up on him. 

But when Danny turned to face him, his eyes were a bright blue, practically glowing, and there was a light emanating out of his chest, as if he tucked a star into his ribcage. No normal human looked like that, and Duke would know. He’s seen a lot of weird shit with his powers, especially once they started affecting his eyes even more, but even people who dabble in magic didn’t look like that.

Danny had looked ethereal. Unreal. As if he wasn’t from this world at all. Like someone who had stepped out of a story and into the real world.

And he was fun.  

That’s what’s tripping Duke up. He’s met other metas before. They tend to either be 1) homicidal, 2) depressed and traumatized, or 3) serious and heroic. Sure there were some that had a sense of humor, but it was just to keep the mood light as they went around saving people and being more Hero than Person.

That’s what Duke had become, growing into his role as the Signal until he worried that it was taking away from Duke Thomas. The other Bats seemed to have no problem with their various identities, or enjoyed being in the mask far more than they enjoyed taking it off. Duke, as he usually was, is the outlier. 

It’s why he always has to wrestle with imposter syndrome, forcing himself to stick around until he can finally feel like he belongs with the heroes of Gotham. He can act unbothered as much as he wants. It will never change the fact that, at his heart, Duke is still the terrified and angry boy sneaking out of foster homes and orphanages to search for his parents, refusing to find a place in the world that wasn’t by their side.

As the only meta on the team, his powers are both a blessing and a curse. They’re another reminder that he’s the odd one out, the one who doesn’t fit in as easily as all the others, but also a tool that lets him help in ways no one else can.

He always has something to prove when he’s out as the Signal. He always has to make himself worth keeping around as Duke.

With Danny, all of that fell away.

Using his powers was fun with him. They darted around the city, from rooftop to rooftop, stopping crimes and teasing each other as they went. There was no pressure to conform or prove himself, just the easy joy of feeling the air rush by him as he swung through the skyline, hundreds of feet in the air. 

It doesn’t hurt that Danny is cute, too.

Sighing, Duke rolls over and shoves his face into his pillow. 

He hadn’t realized how lonely he was until he met another meta who wasn’t trying to attack him. Sure, he has other hero friends, but they’re either regular humans or not human at all. One day with another meta, just shooting the shit, enjoying their time together, makes him all too aware of how much he’s wanted something like this since his powers first manifested. 

Jason said that Danny was down bad, but Duke’s not doing any better, honestly.

He can’t wait until he sees Danny again.

It takes putting on some soothing music and trying not to let all his thoughts drift back to Danny before Duke finally feels sleep take a hold of him and gladly gives into its embrace. . . .

The glow appears suddenly, a flash of light in the distance, and that’s all Duke needs before he takes down two muggers and zip ties their wrists together quickly. “Stay safe!” he calls to the victim, quickly grappling away as she glares at her attempted muggers. She’s looking rather violent, and if she wants to whack them over the head, then that’s her right. 

Duke doesn’t need to worry about it. He’s already dealt with the problem and now he can make his way to Danny, falling into the familiar rhythm of catch, fall, and release as he chases after the cold star-glow of Danny.

He makes his way to the glow until he can see Danny standing on the roof of the mall in Diamond District. Duke stops a few buildings away, taking the time to catch his breath and make sure he’s in Signal mode instead of Duke Thomas. 

Then, as prepared as he’ll ever be, he shoots his grapple out.

Danny and his friends are already facing him when he lands, eyes flickering between him and his grapple gun.

Duke tucks it away and offers them a small wave, giving Danny a soft smile. 

“This is him!” Danny announces, turning to face his friends so he can do a little flourish and show off Duke. “This is the Signal, and he’s a legit hero here.”

A goth girl looks him over with an unimpressed gaze, then clicks her tongue in a way that reminds him way too much of Damian. “Too much yellow,” she says, “You should update your armor to be less… this.”

“Sam!” Danny says, smacking her arm. “Uncalled for!”

“What? I’m right. That’s way too much yellow.”

The other boy pushes his glasses up his nose and glares at Duke. “So you’re a hero, huh?”

Duke blinks and the sudden hostility, then nods. “Yeah, sure am.”

“And you save people?”

“I do my best.”

“Even if they’re not human?”

Oh, Duke realizes, they’re just being overprotective of Danny. It kind of sucks to be on the other end of it, but he’s glad to know that Danny has people that will stand by him. Being a meta without any support is awful and often dealy; human traffickers especially love to target vulnerable metas. 

“Even then,” Duke says. “If anyone needs help and I can help them, I do. It’s how I got into the hero business.”

“Quit the interrogation,” Danny hisses, then turns to Duke with a strained smile. “I am so sorry about them. This is Sam, and this is Tucker.”

“Well, welcome to Gotham.”

Danny hooks his arms with Sam and Tucker’s, pulling them closer to himself with enough force that they stumble. “Stop being mean, guys. We’re here to have fun, remember?”

Sam sighs, then gently knocks her head against Danny’s. “Yeah, alright. We’ll behave.”

“ Thank you. Let’s hit up Wayne Tower first, then the botanical gardens and maybe lunch after that?”

“Sounds good,” Tucker says, pulling his arm free from Danny’s grasp just to hop onto his back. With Tucker secured, Danny sweeps Sam up into a princess carry, and all three look at Duke like this is something totally normal that happens all the time. And maybe it is! It’s probably normal for them and Duke is not going to judge them because he wants to make a good impression and not be a hypocrite.

He’ll just… not talk about the Bats and how bizarre they all are. Duke himself is not exempt from this.

“You gonna be able to hold them both and fly around?” he asks, just to make sure. He definitely doesn’t want anyone falling to their deaths while he’s leading them through Gotham.

Danny just offers him a grin, the tips of his sharp canines just barely visible. The glow in his chest gets a little stronger and his eyes flicker from blue to bright green. “Don’t worry. I’m strong enough to be their Uber today.”

“We’re not paying you,” Sam and Tucker say at the same time, then high five. Danny rolls his eyes, and Duke can’t help but smile seeing their little routines.

They must have been friends for a long time to be so close.

Duke makes a mental note to spend a day just hanging out with his own friends soon. It’s been a little too long, hero work and school taking up all his time, and though they understand and try to keep him in their lives through texts, it’s all too easy to slip away from each other. 

Focus, Duke, he tells himself. Today is for Danny and his friends. 

He’s the Signal. There’s no time for Duke’s problems. He’s got crime to fight and three teenage tourists from who knows where to show around Gotham. He’ll deal with his own shit later.

“I’ll lead the way to Wayne Tower then,” he says, walking backwards to the edge of the roof. Danny lifts up from the roof, hovering a foot in the air, and it’s so hard to look away from him when he’s literally glowing, eyes bright and hair turning white. “Also, just as a heads up, I may have to leave for a few minutes to deal with crime, but I will come back. Just stick to the roofs and you’ll be safe.”

Sam looks around, assessing the city. “Lots of crime here?”

“We’re called the Crime Capital of America for a reason,” Duke responds wryly and she grimaces. 

“Well. At least the aesthetic is pretty nice. I’m digging all the gargoyles.”

“Wait ‘til you see some of our churches. Stained glass, dark stone, really Gothic. I think you’ll like it.” Then, to Danny, he says, “Ready?”

Danny nods, and Duke turns and jumps off the roof. 

Behind him, he can hear a gasp, and then he shoots his grapple out and begins swinging through Diamond District, trusting that Danny is following behind him as they fly above the busy streets. And sure enough, when he flips off the edge of another building, Duke catches a glance behind him and sees the shimmer of an invisible Danny flying towards him, with two additional little shimmers that must be his friends.

He goes back to grappling through the streets, keeping an eye out for any crime. 

“Come in O,” he says quietly, activating his comm. 

“Signal, everything good?” Oracle asks, hopping onto his frequency within a second.

“Yeah, I’ve just got a few visitors I’m escorting around Gotham. Can you keep an eye out for any crimes that need my attention? Just let me know where they are and I’ll deal with it.”

“Sure thing. Who are these visitors?”

“Out of towners. One’s a meta and they wanted to do a little sightseeing, and you know how this city is dangerous for people who aren’t used to it. And with meta human trafficking…”

Oracle makes a small sound of understanding. “Yeah, best to stick close to them while they’re here. Good call, Signal. I’ll keep an eye out and let you know if anything pops up, but so far, it’s all looking quiet.”

“Good to hear.”

There’s a pause, and then Oracle’s voice turns teasing, bringing more Barbara into the forefront. “Soooo,” she starts, and he can already hear the grin in her voice. “Making friends, Signal? Looking to start up your own team? It’s tradition, you know; we’ve all done it.”

“Nah, they’re not looking to join the cape scene. They just want to see the sights, hang out a bit. Are you looking for information on them right now?” He can hear her typing loudly, fingers flying across the keyboard. She’s supposed to be working in the library, but she’s also got her own office in there now that she’s the most senior employee. It would be just like her to pass off patron duties to the other libraries and bust crime rings from her office desk. 

Zero separation between regular work and night work. The curse all bats and bat-adjacent folk struggle with. 

“Who do you think I am?” Barbara scoffs. “If you’re making friends, then it’s my duty to make sure they’re good friends. At the very least, I can’t let you run off with villains in the makings, or cultists wanting to sacrifice you or something.”

“They’re normal civilians,” Duke hisses into his comm. He casts another glance behind him to see Danny flying off to the side. From what he can make out from the movement of the shimmer, like a heat mirage given form, he’s pointing something out to his friends. “And how likely is it that they are villains? I doubt anyone looking to hurt me is going to ask me for a tour of Gotham.”

Barbara hums. “You never know. Tim befriended Anarchy. And a couple of League assassins.”

“Tim’s a special case. He can befriend literally anyone. I mean, didn’t Jason and Damain both try to kill him? Now look at them. Thick as thieves.”

“He is something special,” Barbara agrees, amusement coloring her voice. “Say, can you tell me their names?”

“Who?”

“Your tourist guests.”

“Danny, Tucker, and Sam. Why?”

There’s a pause, even the clicking of her keyboard going silent. Oracle being stopped in her tracks is never a good thing and Duke is suddenly worried that she did find something that will connect the trio to some evil world domination plan.

“I can’t find them.”

“What?” 

“I’ve run their faces through the databases, I’ve searched for people matching their descriptions, I can’t find any tech on them that I can hack into… It’s like they don’t exist. Digitally, that is.”

Duke lands just a block away from Wayne Tower, staring up at it. The glass glistens in the few rays of sunlight that force their way past the clouds hanging heavy in the sky. It’s taller than any other building in the district, overlooking Gotham all the way to the bay. He hears the slight shuffle of feet as Danny lands on the roof behind him and sets Tucker and Sam down. 

He wants to keep talking to Barbara because he can’t recall a time she wasn’t able to find something. She’s ruthless in the pursuit of information, effortlessly hacking into even the most protected files, capable of finding people and vehicles and buildings and everything else someone might need for a case. 

The fact that Danny and his friends have hidden themselves from Oracle’s all seeing eyes has him on edge. 

He really hopes it’s nothing. He wants to be friends with Danny. He wants to trust him to be a good person just trying to live a quiet life as a meta. He wants just one thing to not blow up in his face. 

“Here we are!” Duke announces, showing off Wayne Tower with a flourish. “I can’t get you much closer to the tower without people noticing you pop in out of nowhere, so you’ll have to walk the last two blocks to get to the building.”

“Impressive place,” Tucker comments as invisibility slides off of him. Sam appears a moment later, followed by Danny, the glow in his chest softening and growing a little dimmer. 

“Wayne Enterprises is always striving for perfection,” Duke agrees. “Though, between you and me, I’m 99% positive that the only reason this building is as big and impressive as it is stems from Wayne’s need to be better than Lexcorp.”

“Lexcorp?”

“Rival company in Metropolis. Lex Luthor is the CEO and we all hate him for a lot of reasons.”

“I kinda want to pit Vlad against these guys,” Sam says, shooting Danny a grin.

Danny snorts and shakes his head. “Vlad has a cheese castle. I think he’s already lost.”

Duke is really interested in hearing about the cheese castle, but a quick glance at the watch hidden in his wrist gauntlet (put there only so he can dramatically check the time and leave with some insane excuse when criminals were complaining to him about their own poor choices) tells him that it’s nearly time for the next tour to start. 

“Alright, folks,” he says, “You’ve got around eleven minutes to sign yourselves up for the next tour, so if you want to make it, you’d better get moving!”

Tucker swears, then sprints for the edge of the building. “Danny! Get me down there! I’m not waiting another hour for a tour!”

Danny rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling fondly as he flies over to Tucker and scoops him up. They both disappear over the edge of the building, leaving Duke alone with Sam.

“So,” she says, and her tone could be mistake for conversational if it wasn’t for the coldness of her eyes. “You’re getting pretty friendly with Danny, from what I’ve heard.”

Duke smiles nervously. This is the beginning of a shovel talk, isn’t it? “I guess so. I mean, I’d like to be friends with him.”

“How old are you?”

“What?”

“How. Old. Are you?” she bites out, walking closer with a glare.

“Why do you want to know? I can’t just be giving out information about my identity, you know.”

“If you’re not a teenager, then I am going to have a few knives sharpened for when you make a wrong move towards Danny.”

“Wait, wait! I’m still in high school! That’s fine, isn’t it?” He definitely shouldn’t be telling anyone this, but if one of his friends said they were hanging out with someone they don’t know outside of a mask, or a username, or whatever, he’d want to make sure that person wasn’t a creep. Her protective anger is admirable, really. And besides, he gets it. If telling her his age (or age range) will reassure her that he’s not going to… groom Danny or something, then he’ll tell her. 

He’d never fault someone for looking out for their loved ones. 

“You better be telling the truth. For your own sake.”

“Cross my heart,” Duke says. 

Danny pops up through the roof a moment later, startling both of them, easily breaking the tension. “Come on, Sam, Tucker’s signed us up and doesn’t want to wait for you to get over there.” He picks Sam up, then glances between her and Duke. “Wait. Sam. Tell me you didn’t threaten the Signal.”

“Do you want me to lie to you?”

“I can’t take you guys anywhere, I swear…” Danny mutters, then flies down to the street.

Duke blinks at the empty roof, then decides that he’s just going to move on with his day and enjoy spending time with Danny. 

He grapples closer to Wayne Tower, following Danny’s glow to make sure they get inside just fine. It’s only a block, but anything can happen in Gotham; better safe than sorry. As soon as he watches them go into the building, Duke sets a timer to display on the corner of his helmet visor and gets back to patrolling, keeping watch over Gotham while he waits for the tour to finish.

“Signal,” Oracle says, and Duke snaps to attention, landing on the next building at the end of his grapple, hopping down from the ledge with ease. 

“What’s up, O? Got something for me?”

“Not quite. I’d like you to keep an eye on your guests. One of my drones picked up a strange reading that’s similar to magical residue.”

“You think they’re magic?”

“I think there’s something going on with them that we should keep an eye on. I know you said they’re just here as tourists, but you know we can’t take chances in Gotham.”

As much as he understands Barbara’s concerns, Duke can’t bring himself to be suspicious of Danny or his friends. They do have secrets, and none of them have even hinted at how they arrived in Gotham, appearing suddenly and without warning on a rooftop. But he’s always been one to give the benefit of the doubt. To try to talk things out, figure out a solution where no one needs to get hurt. Most of the time, it doesn’t work since whoever is causing problems really only cares about venting out their pain and frustrations through property damage and loss of life. Sometimes, though, the people causing problems need a little help, need protection, need some space to calm down and get themselves under control, and having a horde of Bats chasing them only makes things worse. 

“They really are just tourists,” Duke says. “I know how you feel. I get it, there’s definitely something more to the three of them. But it’s not causing any harm right now, so I say it’s none of our business.”

He hears Barbara sigh down the line, but she’s always been good at respecting boundaries (when it doesn’t come to privacy) and will let people do as they believe they should. It’s why she helps out Jason every so often despite his violent methods and familiarity with killing. It’s why she has her own group and leads them without controlling them the way Batman tries to. 

“Alright,” she says, “You make the calls since they’re your guests. Just be ready for me to say ‘I told you so’ when something goes wrong.”

“Yeah, yeah, we know you’re always right, O. Let me make my mistakes in peace, alright? We’ll fix it when we need to.”

“This is why you’re my new favorite,” Barbara jokes.

He makes to respond, maybe poke fun at some of the others with her, when he catches sight of two guys trying to break the lock on a bike to steal it from the sidewalk. Dropping down from the roof, he casually walks up to them, then clears his throat and shakes his head in disappointment at them when they jump and whirl around to stare at him.

“Really?” he says, judging them harshly, “Stealing someone’s bike? In broad daylight?”

They both flush with embarrassment, scowling at him.

“Well, we gotta get home somehow!” one of them says, kicking at the bike in frustration.

“Can’t you take the bus or something? Walk?”

“We don’t have any money on us for the bus and we’re heading to Robinson Park. I ain’t walking that far.”

Well. At least they’re just trying to get around and weren’t planning on selling the bike off. 

“Two options,” he says, and both guys tense up immediately, prepared for a fight. He hates that that’s the reaction people have to Gotham’s heroes. As soon as they turn to a crime, no matter how petty, they’re prepared to be beaten down into submission. It’s a precedent set by Bruce that he’s never really liked and Duke does his best to embrace how different he is from the rest of the Bats to show the people of Gotham, criminals and all, that everyone can turn to him for help.

“I can buy a week-long bus pass for you both. Or, I can give you two a ride.”

They share a glance, slowly relaxing. “Can we do both?” one asks. “Get a ride from you and the bus pass?”

Duke glances at the timer in his visor. He’s still got forty minutes before he needs to go back to Wayne Tower. 

“You know what? Yes, we can do that. Let me get you those bus passes and then we’ll get going.”

The two men share an excited grin, stepping away from the bike and its slightly mangled lock. They follow Duke to the nearest bus station where a little kiosk is tucked under the awning. Barbara, listening in as she always is, buys the bus passes for him, getting them to print within seconds when they get there. 

“Sending your new motorcycle to your location,” she says as soon as he hands both bus passes to the men. 

As far as Duke knows, he only has one motorcycle. He wishes he could ask what Barbara meant with new motorcycle without anyone listening in, but he’s gotta give the guys his attention, keep them company while they wait. 

They make small talk for a bit, the two asking him what being a hero is like while Duke chats about life in Gotham and shares some Batfam gossip (mostly patrol blunders of one of them slipping while crossing the rooftops and eating shit). 

It only takes seven minutes for the motorcycle to arrive, appearing in front of them in the street as the cloaking turns off. 

“Woah,” one of the guys breathes, staring at it in awe. “Man, you heroes get the coolest shit.”

“Perks of throwing ourselves into the line of fire. Literally.” 

He sees why Barbara sent him an entire new motorcycle (!!!) because his original plan of having three people squeeze onto the seat of one motorcycle was clearly going to end in disaster. This new one, Signal Yellow as it should be, is more armored, a little larger, and has an extended passengers seat attached to it so three people can ride it easily.

Duke swings his leg over it, settling into the seat and grips the handlebars. “Come on,” he smiles, inviting the men to join him. They do, nearly tripping over themselves as they get seated, excited grins on their faces. 

It’s nice to know that no matter how old people get, a cool motorcycle is the way to most people’s hearts. 

And what a change it is to see two men, likely college students in their final years, go from scared and unhappy people to acting like kids again, jumping at the chance to ride a motorcycle with a hero. 

Small interactions like this, where everything goes right, is exactly why Duke is determined to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, a chance to choose differently and be good.

“Hold on tight!” He revs the engine, then takes off, the men letting out whoops behind him as they rush down the street. The motorcycle picks up speed quickly and runs so smoothly it’s as if they’re flying, easily dodging all the cars around them. 

Normally, he’d go invisible and use the cloaking mode on his motorcycle to get around, but with two civilians riding with him, he’d rather be visible so cars don’t accidentally hit them.

The ride to Robinson Park takes fifteen minutes at the frankly dangerous speeds Duke was going, and he has no regrets about speeding because 1) it’s fun as hell and 2) the guys with him are clearly having a blast.

He slows down once they reach the park, then pulls over to the side of the road.

“Thank you for riding with Signal Wheels. Be sure to leave a review!”

“Five out of five!” one guys says as he gets off the motorcycle. His hair is a mess, completely windswept and tangled when Duke turns to look at him. “Holy shit, dude, I think I’d marry your motorcycle if I could.”

“Oh same,” Duke laughs, holding out a hand for a fistbump which is readily granted. 

The second guy needs a moment longer to get off, laughing breathlessly. “Ten out of ten,” he says, once he’s next to his friend.

“Trying to one up me, huh?” 

“Just being honest here.”

“Alright, well you two take care now,” Duke says, shifting his weight to one foot in preparing to kick off and head back to Wayne Tower. “And be sure not to lose those bus passes!”

“Thanks Signal!” they both call out as Duke heads back down the road, turning invisible as soon as he gets to a good speed.

He’s got just enough time to make it back to lead Danny and his friends to the botanical gardens. He cuts it close, but he makes it, pulling into an alley and hopping off the motorcycle.

“O, would you mind getting this back to wherever you piloted it from?”

“Not going to take your new friends on it?”

“Nah, I get the feeling they prefer flying.”

“You got it, Signal.”

The motorcycle pulls out of the alley silently, then heads down on road once cloaking is enabled. It’s gone just in time for his guest to walk out of Wayne Tower, trailing after Tucker who talks with his hands moving around energetically, too distracted to watch where he’s going as Sam and Danny pull him this way and that to keep him from crashing into other people. 

Danny spots him first, after he stops and his brow furrows, a look of concentration on his face. Then his head turns and his eyes snap onto where Duke leans against the wall at the mouth of the alley. He grins, the glow in his chest flaring brighter for a moment, and Duke offers a small wave, unbearably charmed by how cute Danny is, especially when he’s so clearly delighted to see him.

“How was it?” Duke asks once they’re close enough to hear him.

Tucker immediately launches into a rant about WayneTech and the R&D Lab and how he would give his liver to work there. Then he starts rambling about technology and coding and a few of the things he’s created and how he’d love to look through what WayneTech does. He doesn’t stop even as Danny flies him up to the roof, Duke following after with his grapple, Sam clinging onto his back. 

“So, so cool,” Tucker gushes, “I could probably take over the government in Amity with this kind of tech.”

Okay. Kind of a concerning statement to make, especially in the wake of Barbara’s suspicions of them.

Sam snorts. “You could take over the government in Amity now, if you wanted to.”

“Yeah, I could.”

“Not that you’d be good at it. What would you do as mayor?”

“Create a steak festival to celebrate steak and all the meals you can make with it.”

“Oh you little—” Sam lunges at them and Tucker falls back with a shriek. And then they’re tussling on the rooftop, arguing about meat and veganism and the farming industry, which, what a subject change.

Duke looks over at Danny, who watches them wrestle with fond exasperation. “Should we… stop them?”

“Let them get this out of their systems,” Danny replies. “They’ve been having this fight for years. I’ll stop them in a few minutes, and then we can go to the botanical gardens.”

So they stand together and watch Sam and Tucker roll around the roof, trying to choke each other out. And all Duke can think is, Man, I can’t ever let them meet the Bats. They’ll get along like a house on fire.

Or, it’s all he thinks until Danny shifts closer to him, just a few tentative steps. He’s suddenly starkly aware of how small the space between them is, how Danny’s close enough to touch, how much he’s been looking forward to this moment since Danny left a week ago.

Boy was giving you doe eyes the entire time he was with you, Jason had said. Duke saw it, when he was with Danny, reveled in it, basked in the attention. It wasn’t that he didn’t reciprocate, but he knows it can be hard to convey anything through his helmet, but there’s only so much action can do.

But it’s what he can do, so Duke shoves away his nerves and wraps his arm around Danny’s waist, pulling him closer.

Danny lets out a cute little squeak, cheeks filling with color immediately, and Duke is so, so endeared he wants to cry. 

“So, what’s the story behind this fight of theirs?” he asks, leaning closer to ask his question quietly in Danny’s ear.

“Oh! Um,” Danny blinks at him, visibly flustered, and Duke wants to squeeze his cheeks together, he’s so cute. 

Oh, he really is down bad. Damn. He hopes Barbara isn’t watching through his helmet camera, but he knows better than to expect her to not be collecting blackmail on him for this.

Which is whatever! Jokes on Barbara, he’s not at all ashamed of what he feels for Danny!

He could do without the ribbing from the rest of the Bats. They have no leg to stand on when it comes to relationships and being honest about their feelings. He’ll turn every conversation about Danny into improvised therapy if he has to.

“Well?” he prompts.

Danny glances at his friends, then leans into Duke and turns to him with a small smile. 

“So,” he begins, then launches into a wild story from his freshman year about Sam and Tucker splitting the school into two groups to have a mini civil war over meat vs vegetarian food. Which lead to eating grass (?!) for lunch, a ghost lunch lady attacking the school, and the teachers having their own hidden meat lunch kept secret from the students, which lead to more chaos once it was discovered.

“That was a wild school week,” Danny concludes, just as Sam and Tucker’s fight winds down.

“Dude,” Duke says, staring at Danny, unsure if he wants to laugh or ask follow up questions. “What kind of life have you been living? That’s so much. The only thing we’ve got here is shootings and so much crime. Also a zombie in the sewers.”

“See, you drop info like that on me and suddenly I’m convinced that my life is actually pretty tame compared to whatever’s going on here.”

“No, no, listen. In Gotham, you expect this kind of nonsense. But your story started so deceptively normal! ‘Just a fight between friends’ and then a ghost attack? Betrayal from the teachers? Grass? Danny, everything you said left me reeling.”

“It’s not that bad!” Danny laughs. “The ghosts barely cause any problem anymore. They’re just kinda like anyone else, now.”

“What’s this about?” Sam asks, brushing her skirt off as she stands. Tucker pushes himself up to his feet and takes a moment to wipe the lenses of his glasses.

“The first time we met Lunch Lady.”

Sam and Tucker make a sound of understanding, nodding. “That sure was something,” Sam says.

“To think we were so young and innocent back then,” Tucker says with a fake sniffle. “So innocent!”

“You’re still as insufferable as ever,” Sam replies, taking his smack to her arm with grace.

“You two ready to head to the botanical garden now?” Duke asks, getting them back on track. Danny moves out of Duke’s grasp, unfortunately, to return to his role as their personal Uber, this time getting Tucker in a princess carry while Sam clings to his back like a koala.”Well. Guess Danny’s decided you’re ready.”

His friends snicker while Danny rolls his eyes and mutters about their unending arguments, then nods at Duke to lead the way.

Giving him a little salute, Duke readies his grapple, then takes off, leaping off the building to return to the skies. Danny follows him effortlessly, a soft glow that occasionally passes by in front of him playfully, sticking close as they head north. 

The botanical gardens are a large spot of green in the otherwise urban landscape. It’s a few blocks away from Robinson Park, close enough that everything nearby is deemed Ivy’s territory, but far enough away that most people can pretend it’s like any other building and visit it safely. It’s been a long time since the botanical garden was attacked, or use for Villainous Purposes™, so Duke is comfortable letting Sam, Tucker, and Danny explore it on their own. 

Plenty of other people are also in the gardens, from what he can see a roof away. And no one’s run away screaming, which is definitely a good sign.

“Oh, wow,” Sam says once she hops down from Danny’s back. She stares at the gardens with something unreadable in her eyes, as if she’s seeing more than what’s there. “There’s so much…”

“Poison Ivy—one of our rogues who can control plants and is doing a lot better these days, don’t worry—she takes care of most of the gardens. The greenhouse in the middle is hers for studies and experiments with plants, but she lets the public walk the garden. She’s even added little informational cards for kids to read so they can learn more,” Duke says, walking up to where Sam is leaning concerningly over the edge to get a better look at the gardens. 

“That explains it,” she says, explaining nothing. “Do we have to pay to go in?”

“Just five dollars per person. It’s her income, and we’re all encouraged to leave a donation so she doesn’t turn to crimes to get enough money to support herself again.”

“Well!” Danny claps his hands together. “Let’s go, then. Jazz made sure we had cash on had, so it should be fine.”

“I can cover our tickets,” Sam offers, “Since this is for me.”

“Then I’ll cover lunch,” Danny says.

Tucker shoves his hand onto Danny’s face to push him away as he says, “No, I’ll pay for lunch. Danny, you’re not spending anything since you’re the one that scoped out this place last week for us. Got it?”

“Yeah, yeah, got it. Thanks, guys,” Danny smiles, then turns to Duke. “Would you mind waiting here for a bit? I’m gonna check out the gardens for a bit, but then I’ll be back.”

“Sure,” Duke says easily. It’s a quiet day anyways, and he’ll take any excuse to spend more time with Danny.

“Great. I’ll be right back!” And then he wraps an arm around both Sam and Tucker’s waits, picks them up like they weigh nothing, and casually hops off the roof. 

Duke sits down on the edge of the building, watching as they cross the street and enter the botanical garden, Sam pulling out her wallet to pay for their entry. He idly kicks his heels against the wall, looking around the street, enjoying the rare Gotham peace.

No one is calling for help and Barbara hasn’t alerted him to anything. This is a good thing, but it doesn’t change the fact that Duke is bored.

He pulls out his phone, which he knows he shouldn’t have while he’s in the suit but it’s his day shift, he can do what he wants, and checks his friends (no Bats allowed) group chat and sees that Izzy is active. He opts to leave the chaos of the group chat to message her directly.

flashlight: hey izzy u know how we broke up

2(00)chains: oh boy. strong opening. but yes i am aware we broke up

flashlight: would u be mad if i started dating someone new or is it too soon?

2(00)chains: OMG DUKE??? WHO IS IT YOU NEED TO TELL ME RIGHT NOW

flashlight: izzy.

2(00)chains: babe u gotta give me something to work with so i can know if i should give u my blessing or not

2(00)chains: but also if u want to date and they make u happy, then yes u can date

flashlight: okay thanks!! wasn’t sure and didn’t know if it would be rude

2(00)chains: rude to date when ur single?? it would have been a problem if we were still together but that ship has sailed bby

2(00)chains: but duke PLSSSS i need deets. give me some tea… a girl is parched…

flashlight: lmao. so dramatic. but uuuuuuh

2(00)chains: little concerned by that pause there duke

flashlight: ok hes a meta

2(00)chains: ok strong start, u dont need to hide powers from him

flashlight: he’s not from gotham and doesnt live here so idk how well long distance would do

2(00)chains: duke. is this an online friend u’ve never met before.

flashlight: no!! i met him in person in gotham!! he’s just visiting!!!!

2(00)chains: ok ok go on

flashlight: uh

flashlight: he may only know me as the signal?

2(00)chains: DUKE. 

2(00)chains: i understand the need to keep ur identity secret

2(00)chains: but PLS do not be a superhero love story cliche. im begging here. u didnt even keep it secret from me

flashlight: he may also not exist in this world (universe?)

2(00)chains: .

2(00)chains: u know i think u can make it work

2(00)chains: u have my blessing! if he says yes when u ask him out (which he better do 🔪) then i demand to meet him!!

flashlight: u got it izzy

flashlight: thanks!! u always got my back ☺️

He only has a faint prickle on the back of his neck to warn him of Danny’s approach, looking up through gut instinct only just to see Danny’s fuzzy glow fly up to him.

Danny pops into visibility a moment later, pouting. “I was hoping I could sneak up on you.”

“It’s gonna take more than that, babe,” he laughs. “I’m hard to sneak up on.” Bar that time Cass… and Bruce… and Tim… Dick, also… Jason, too…

Okay, so anyone who isn’t a Bat won’t be able to sneak up on him easily.

“Babe?” Danny repeats, his voice suddenly much higher. Duke freezes and takes a moment to curse his loose mouth; he and Izzy love pet names and still call each other terms of endearment even now when they’ve broken up. And since he was just talking to her, habit made him put his foot in his mouth.

“Yeah,” Duke says, committing to it, “Babe”

Danny makes a little whine in the back of his throat, face going red, and then his hides his face in his hands and floats up higher, curling his body up into a small ball. The movement reminds him of the videos he’s seen of astronauts in space, moving in lazy circles in zero gravity.

“Sorry,” he adds on, “I was texting a friend and we call each other things like that, so I just… slipped up. Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m not,” Danny mumbles.

“What?”

“I’m not uncomfortable.”

Duke smiles. “Alright. Wanna come down and join me, then?”

Danny continues hiding for a few moments longer, then reaches a hand down towards Duke. He doesn’t look at him, shyly turned away, still red in the cheeks. 

How is he so sweet?  

Duke has never met someone so cute, and full of light, and literally glowing. He never stood a chance.

He takes Danny’s hand, gently pulling him down to the roof, wrapping an arm around him once he’s sitting to make sure he doesn’t go floating away.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?”

“Oh, I was just… I really like hanging out with you and you’re super cool and I thought I should explain a few things about myself.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I do,” Danny says, resolutely. “First, I’m not from here.”

Duke stares at him. “Yeah, I got that. Kinda obvious after we spoke for the first time.”

“No, I mean. Really not from here. From a different dimension.”

Oh. So Danny’s just casually walking the multiverse, apparently, and chose to return to Gotham to spend time with Duke. That’s honestly really flattering. 

“Makes sense,” he says.

Now Danny’s staring at him, incredulously. “How does that make sense? Do you not have questions about what that means, or where I’m from, or how I got here?”

Duke shrugs. “Not really. Listen, there’s a lot of weird shit in Gotham. Like, a lot. Batman was lost in time once and presumed dead until Red Robin helped get him back. There’s incomprehensible magic and time travel and so many aliens, dude. This is not that out of the ordinary.”

“YOU HAVE ALIENS?” Danny shouts, then claps a hand over his mouth, eyes wide. And then, whispered, “You have aliens?!”

“Yeah, we have aliens. Some try to kill us and conquer Earth, some live here as superheroes.”

“No way,” Danny breathes. “Can I stay here forever? My dimension doesn’t have aliens. I really want to meet aliens.”

“If you stick around long enough, it’s kind of inevitable that you’ll get caught up in some crazy shit, and you’ll probably be able to meet Superman then. Or maybe Martian Manhunter, if he’s available.”

He watches Danny mouth Martian Manhunter in awe and is so charmed by him and his visible excitement about aliens. Most of this is just how he lives life, knowing all these impossible things are out there but have very little to do with him. It’s only mind blowing when he actually meets Superman and all, but that’s because meeting big heroes is like meeting celebrities and it never stops being cool.

“Wait, I’m getting distracted.” Danny shakes his head, then lightly claps his hands against his cheeks. “Okay, so. I’m from a different dimension. And Tucker has made a few phones that can work literally anywhere. But only to contact other phones he made for interdimensional communication. I had him make one for you so we could keep talking even when I go home, if you wanted.”

“I want it! I very much do want it.”

Danny grins. “Great! Perfect, okay.” He reaches into his own chest (?!) and pulls out a phone.

“Um.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I can use my insides like a pocket dimension for extra storage.”

Sure. This might as well happen. Duke takes the phone and looks it over; it looks like a large, square flip phone, but when it opens, the screen and keyboard are both touchscreens the glow a faint neon green. He opens up the contacts menu, finds Danny, and shoots him a quick text that consists only of a smiley face. 

“Man, this is so cool,” Duke says. “Thanks for giving it to me! I really am glad I can talk to you some more.”

“I feel like I should be thanking you for giving me the time of day.”

Duke knocks his shoulder against Danny’s. “Come on, man, don’t say that. Anyone would be happy to spend time with you. Besides, I’m really not as cool as you think. I’m a normal guy outside the suit.”

“You still have powers.”

“I do, but I’m not the only one.”

“I know this is a bit of a bad question, and I do understand how important secret identities are! But do you think I’d ever get to know you when you’re just… you?”

Duke thinks about how much Batman would disapprove, the lengths Tim went through to protect his own identity as Red Robin, how everyone around him would become a target if anyone figured out who the Signal is…

But then he thinks about how much keeping this secret puts a strain on his relationship with his cousin, how much of a relief it is to have his friends in the know so he doesn’t have to constantly lie to them, how he’s the only hero Danny knows in this dimension and the only person who can help him while he’s here.

“I’ll tell you one day,” Duke says, “Promise. When we get to know each other a little more, yeah?”

“Yeah, alright, that’s fair. Thanks, Signal.”

“You need to get back to your friends?”

“Nah,” Danny shakes his head, “They can manage on their own. Besides, they agreed to one hour each place, and Tucker’s hungry enough to drag Sam out as soon as it hits that hour mark.”

“Well, in that case, why don’t you tell me a little more about your dimension while we wait? Or any other place you’ve visited.”

Danny grins, leaning closer, and says, “Have you ever met a yeti? Cause I have.” . . .

He doesn’t get to see Danny or his friends off when they return to their dimension. They’d been in the planetarium for hours, and Duke had to end patrol and turn in for the day to look over cases with Steph and Tim, then work on his college application. 

He does get a text from Danny, his new phone going off with a soft sound of a wind chime, in the middle of looking at different colleges and stressing out.

Danny: got home safe! off to fight dinner now 🤺

Danny: wanna talk more tomorrow?

Signal: sure! i’d love to!! good luck with dinner?

There’s a brief pause, and then Danny sends a blurry picture of a rotisserie chicken flying through the air towards a woman with red hair, holding out a steak knife, ready to attack. 

…Yeah, he’s going to question that tomorrow. For now, he just sends Danny a thumbs up emoji and goes back to staring at his list of potential schools he wants to go to with growing despair.

Does he want to stay in Gotham? Gotham City University isn’t all that bad, and he’s familiar with the campus. Or maybe Montclair State University. Rowan University and Rutgers University don’t sound bad either, and both are still in the state, so he wouldn’t be too far from Gotham. Maybe he could go to his parent’s alma matter; UCLA and Penn State are both out of state, though, and way more expensive, even if Bruce offered to cover his tuition.

What would he even study?

So lost in thought, Duke almost doesn’t realize that his regular phone is ringing until the noise cuts off. His head jerks up and he stares at it, wondering who could be calling him right after he finished eating dinner. 

Then it rings again, Barbara’s name popping up on the screen, and he lunges for it, worried that something’s going down in Gotham without him noticing.

“Babs! Is something wrong?”

“No. Should something be wrong? I was calling because you didn’t check in with me before you ended patrol, and you haven’t been responding to any of my texts,” she says, sounding distracted as the sound of her keyboard continues on steadily in the background. She must be working as Oracle already, preparing to assist the Bats on their patrols.

“Oh, sorry. Everything’s fine, our visitors were from another dimension and they really were just here to sightsee. Nothing to worry about.”

“I saw that you got a gift.”

Duke understands exactly what she’s calling about, now. He should have expected Barbara to fall to the siren call of new tech. “I did,” he says, offering nothing else just to mess with her.

“Duke,” she says, “It’s a matter of safety.”

“Just admit that you want to check out interdimensional tech.”

Barbara sighs, then says, “I want to look at interdimensional tech. Come by the Clocktower tonight and drop it off.”

“I don’t know, Babs,” he says teasingly, “I think Tim might want a look at it first.”

“I should have never believed Dick when he said you were well behaved. ‘The good one’ my ass,” she grumbles. “What do you want?”

“A favor to be decided in the future. No questions asked expect what’s needed to get that favor done.”

“Deal.”

“I’ll swing by soon. Do you think you could help me with my college apps while I’m there? I have no idea what to do or where to go.”

“Sure,” Barbara agrees, her voice warm, “I’d love the chance to big sister you. Jason hogs you too much.”

He does, and Duke doesn’t really understand why Jason gets along so well with him, but he’s not going to question a good thing. Street kids gotta stick together, after all. Even if neither of them are living on the streets anymore. 

It’s nice to know that the others are just as willing to help him out, even if he works separate from them most of the time these days. 

“Oh, and the phone I got from Danny has contacts already added to it. Please don’t text Danny or anyone else without saying it’s you.”

“That sounds like you’re giving me permission to talk to me.”

“I figured you’d want to talk to Tucker some, since he’s the one who built it.”

“Well,” Barbara says, and he can hear the smile in her voice, “Thanks for the permission. I’ll be sure to get as much information as I can from him.”

“Please don’t ruin this for me.”

Barbara laughs. “Oh, don’t worry Duke. I know how to be nice, especially with people you’re trying to impress. It’s Dick you should be worried about.”

She’s right. 

Duke drops his head onto his desk with a groan.

“I’ll see you later, Duke.”

“Yeah, alright. See you, Babs.”

She ends the call and Duke sighs, contemplating taking a nap before he heads out. But that would mess up his sleep schedule, and he’s willing to do a lot, but not that. Instead, he flicks through his phone to the group chat with his friends, and sends a quick question about when they can hang out again.

He’s missed them. Seeing Danny with Tucker and Sam reminded him of how much he loves his friends and spending time with them. He should take a page from Danny’s book and spend a day with them, just catching up and enjoying their company. 

And if they tease him about his crush on Danny, well, better them than the Bats. 

[qu0rky]

Hot take ig

Hello hazbin hotel fandom! Not even a month of interacting with you people and i’m already tired of the Alastor crusaders.

As a person on the aro/ace spectrum who’s in a happy relationship, i’m asking you guys for the love of god to STOP being annoying about the shippers. Shippers are, first of all, inevitable in any fandom. Also, do you really expect the most famous character in the franchise to NOT be paired up with one/ multiple other characters?

If it really pisses you off about how “it’s taking away representation” (which, no it’s not, because canonically he’s still aro/ace) then maybe, JUST MAYBE, ignore the fucking people trying to have fun????

“oh but it doesn’t make any sense” crack ships aren’t supposed to make sense. And since when does shipping need to have a reason to exist other than “i think they have a nice dynamic”?

“aro/ace people can’t date/ have sex!!!” yes they can and they do, since it’s a spectrum.

My guy literally eats people and you’re over here fuming about the morality of shippers? Get a grip please he’s not a real person.

The issue is ONLY when people are denying the existence of aromanticism/asexuality irl to the people part of the community. Because warping canon has always been a part of fandom culture.

Genderbending is a thing, yet i don’t see people complaining about someone’s canon gender getting changed for fanart or fanfiction. Because it isn’t a fucking problem, it isn’t in any way affecting the actual source material.

Despite all of this, most people who do ship Alastor with someone DO view him on the aro/ace spectrum, so i honestly do not understand what warrants the death threats to these poor (mostly) teenagers just engaging with the fandom.

Unless the ship is illegal, i say go for it and stop worrying about what people on the internet have to say!!

[philsmeatylegss]

Hiii I just saw a post Abt the v day video and how it's fucked up and such and I was just wondering why? I found it a few years ago but it was just kinda cute tbh what's wrong with it? Lmao I'm definitely a newer phan, I only started really following their stuff in like 2017 so I don't know too much about early dnp lol

Oh fuck I’m old

I think it’s safe enough to finally talk publicly about it.

Basically the vday video was a video Phil made for Dan for Valentine’s Day. He uploaded it privately onto his YouTube channel which Dan had the password to so Dan could see it. At this time, Dan was on vacation (pretty sure in India) and he wouldn’t have been able to see a video of that quality just through text or email. Shitty luck, the same time he privately uploaded it, infamous YouTube glitch happened where all private videos became public. And one of the videos that went public was the v day video.

There’s a lot of jokes about Dan in 2012, but it’s actually really depressing. Dan wasn’t out yet and he had a fuck ton of trauma surrounding his sexuality. 2012 is when dnp started blowing up enough to where they became part of popular early YouTube so people saved the v day video when it was uploaded.

They’ve only addressed it a few times in which they said it was an April Fool’s prank, which obviously doesn’t make sense, but what were they supposed to say? According to legend, people would keep reuploading the video and Phil would spend hours taking them down one by one and it would say “AmazingPhil took down this video for copyrite.”

It was a catalyst to just a really shitty period for dnp. All aggressively heterosexual clips from Dan’s liveshows are my 2012. “FYI I like vagina” is 2012. People were contacting his 14 year old brother to ask about him and Phil. That alone is both fucked up to drag a kid into this, but remember that Dan still wasn’t out to his family. It was probably so fucking terrifying when his YouTube life, especially regarding his sexuality and relationship, clashed with his family life for the first time.

There’s a noticeable difference between their relationship in videos from 2009-2011 and 2012-2015. And it is most likely because dnp blew up pretty big in 2012 and started going from making YouTube videos for fun to doing it as a job with the added pressure of millions watching. And the catalyst, or at least metaphorical catalyst, from the switch between being openly touchy feely giggles to strict, five feet apart mates is considered to be the vday vid.

It was a big problem in the phandom since it was leaked to around 2017ish. A lot of people were circulating it and word was that they were still being taken down years later, implying that Phil was still searching for the video years later.

The phandom used to be primarily 12-16 year olds. And when you’re that age, speaking from experience, you don’t understand the complexities of the situation and just kinda thought “teeheehee phan is real XD.” When in reality, it was a very sensitive and serious thing that wasn’t meant to ever be seen by the public. It’s literally where the cherry lube and kissing at the Manchester Eye reference is from.

Rightfully so, the video became more and more taboo to mention and most people caught on that it was a shitty thing to upload or share it. It used to be really taboo and affectionately was often referred to as “the video that shall not be named.”

It honestly has a backstory that is so story-like that it seems unreal. So much had to happen for it to be leaked and the impact it had on them was so large it’s like a black hole in phandom history.

It’s possible not all of this is accurate, this is just the basic lore of it. So while I don’t think the internet police will drag you to prison for saying you watched the vday video, this is the context behind it. Do with it what you will.

Spending your entire preteen, teen, and now 20s as a phannie will fry your brain in unimaginable ways. I knew this off the top of my head😭

[cepheustarot]

Your strong and weak sides

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Don’t take it personally, only you know everything about yourself.

Choose one or more cards. Trust your intuition.

Card 1 Your strengths: One of your strengths is that you rely on logic, think soberly and reasonably, assess the situation objectively and in stressful situations you do not panic, but calm down and think about how to solve the problem. You are a calm and reasonable person who looks at everything from an objective point of view, you clearly know how to defend your position, what arguments to bring, and in general how to convince a person; you stick to your truth, it is very difficult to hurt or anger you. You are one of those who rely on a clear plan rather than acting improvisedly, you are purposeful and know how to achieve what you want.

Your weaknesses: Although you have clear plans, resources and desires to achieve what you want, you tend to waste time, like you can spend a lot of time not on achieving the goal, but on fun, party with too much alcohol, surfing the net for the whole day, in general, sometimes you overdo it and are lazy. You can also often be in a state of apathy or strong melancholy, at such moments you become too categorical to yourself, you can also think a lot about "do I really need this, do I really want to achieve this, do I really want to become such a person" or something like that. In general, in such cases, you are characterized by confusion and self-doubt. Although you have clear plans, resources and desires to achieve what you want, you tend to waste time, like you can spend a lot of time not on achieving the goal, but on fun, hanging out with alcohol, hanging out on the Internet for the whole day, in general, sometimes you overdo it and are lazy. You can also often be in a state of apathy or strong melancholy, at such moments you become too categorical to yourself, you can also think a lot about "do I really need this, do I really want to achieve this, do I really want to become such a person" or something like that. In general, in such cases, you are characterized by confusion and self-doubt.

Card 2 Your strengths: You are easy-going person, nothing holds you, you can easily start a new, to some extent you have fearlessness and courage. There are people who are afraid to start a new one — this is not about you, you are one of those who discover something new with curiosity, most likely you want to try everything in the world. You are a very active person, most often you get what you want and moreover it is given without much effort, since you are very charismatic, and this attracts people, they are ready to give in to you, to help in anything. You can also say that you are a lucky person

Your weaknesses: You are quite categorical and biased about many things, you can also drop new things too quickly, without bringing them to the end, and start doing something else. This can be explained by the fact that something didn't work out for you the first time and you quit this case. When you lose interest in someone or something, you immediately stop doing it or cut ties with a person, not really allowing a relationship to develop with him. You may also not appreciate what you have: for example, you got what you wanted for a long time, but after a short time it becomes unnecessary for you and you ask for something more. Perhaps you are still too touchy and vindictive.

Card 3 Your strengths: You are a very empathic person and friendly, and this attracts people! You can say you are caring and friends/others see you as a kind of "mom" who will always support and take care of them, give good advice and always help. You are also very creative person, you are literally an idea generator. Also, your initiatives are accompanied by success and you can achieve success in those cases that interest you in a minimum of time.

Your weaknesses: Sometimes you tend to teach others and give unsolicited advice, you can criticize the actions of other people too much, which leads to conflicts. Although you are a caring person and will always listen to others, you are not someone who will talk a lot about yourself and you tend to lock yourself away from people for a while, literally disappear and not talk to anyone. In conflicts, you show aggression and can not restrain yourself, say something offensive to a person and hurt him, you are very straightforward in such situations and it is difficult for you to control yourself.

Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback <3

[icantthinkofanythingcool3]

Sessions

This is probably going to be only for a very niche part of the internet, but I'm obsessed with Bones again at the moment so here ya go.

Agent Y/n is an FBI agent that occasionally works with Booth, Bones, and the team. She has become good friends with Sweets, and Angela. After an extra brutal case that involved a serial killer and an intense fixation on Agent Y/n herself, Y/n needs mandated counseling from her favorite psychologist. The following are the sessions that document the beginning of something more than a professional or even friendly relationship.  

Session 1

“For the record, I think this is totally unnecessary.” Y/n sighed. 

“I do not agree. You’ve been through a traumatizing experience.” 

“How is this any more traumatizing than the events I witness on a day-to-day basis. This is literally my job Lance.” 

“It’s not everyday that a killer is specifically targeting you y/n, so, once again, I disagree. Plus it’s mandated by the FBI, so you don’t really have a choice.” Lance said matter of factly, “I’ll take your extreme eye roll as acceptance. You know some people say that your eyes could get stuck that way.” 

“Shut up and do your psycho shit.” 

“There’s nothing for me to do, we just need to talk. We talk all the time, what’s the problem now?” 

“We talk as friends, this is not us talking as friends Lance, this is some bullshit test to see if I’m still capable of doing my job. I don’t think it’s fair to me to think that just because some asshole murderer decided to set his sights on me means that I suddenly don’t have the ability to do my damn job anymore!” 

“Y/N that’s, well that’s actually an accurate depiction so I can’t debate that. But I want you to understand it’s not me personally that feels like that. It’s the men upstairs, as one would say, you can still talk to me.” 

“Isn’t that a conflict of interest?” Y/n smirked at him

“Well, if I thought this could actually be a problem I absolutely would have suggested that you go to a different psychologist, but I don’t think it’s that kind of problem. I still think you need to talk to someone though.” 

“Ehh, I think we need to talk more about how you’re totally showing favoritism here.”

“Let’s talk about that after we talk about you, yeah?”

 “If you insist, Dr. Sweets.”

Session 2 “How many more of these do we have to do?” Y/n complained. 

“This is only session number two y/n, I think you know it’s going to take more than that. I would like to discuss how you’re feeling now. It’s been exactly 10 days since he was caught.” 

“Well, I would still like to talk about how you’re showing immense favoritism by seeing me as a patient since we’re quote, unquote friends.”

“Woah, woah, now that makes it seem like you don’t think we’re friends.” 

“Now, I didn’t say that, but I would like to dissect why that was your immediate thought.” 

“Oh, so now you’re the psychologist, huh?” Lance asked, quietly laughing at y/n. 

“Yes, you know what. I think I would like to switch professions…would you mind switching seats with me? I think it’s time for me to take over this session.”  

“You know what, sure. I think this will be good for my analysis. Go ahead there y/n, take your new seat.”

 “So Mr. Sweets-”

“Woah, woah so in your fantasy my degrees suddenly fail to exist?”

“Shhhhhh, we’re doing things my way now, remember? So, Mr. Sweets, why is it that you seem to be showing me favoritism?” 

“Well technically, how can I be showing favoritism if, in this fantasy, you have taken away my degrees therefore I would have no-”

“Lance!!!!! You are not making this fun for me!!!! Can you stop with your logic please and just answer my question?! Why are you avoiding the answer?” Y/n said half joking, but also half annoyed at him for not letting her have any fun. 

“Okay, okay. Well, Dr. y/l/n, I suppose I show you favoritism because you’re one of my favorite people. Some may say, as I’m sure you know with your vast knowledge of psychology and all the varying fields, that I’ve been creating my own family since my parents died. I consider you one of those people.”

 “Wow…that’s. I…don’t….that’s probably one of the most honest and sweetest things anyone has ever said to me… As a friend, not as a psychologist of my vast knowledge, will you tell me about them? About your parents?” 

“Of course I will.” 

Session 3

“Y/n are we finally going to discuss what we’re here to talk about?” 

“I don’t wanna.” 

“Do you think that maybe it means something that you don’t want to talk about it?” 

“No, I just don’t wanna.”

“Y/n, come on. The longer this drags out the longer we have to keep doing these sessions.” 

“Well maybe I like the sessions and I don’t want them to end.” 

“Well, you know they don’t have to, right? Just because we speak about what we have to discuss doesn't mean that we have to stop having the sessions, just that I can finally sign off on the papers your bosses are asking for. If we can get through this we can talk about whatever you want in the next session, maybe even me again if that’s what you would prefer.” 

“Fine, but I just want to say that I am doing this entirely against my will…”

“I will definitely put that on the record.” 

“I guess what I feel is…not safe. I don’t feel safe at my house, I don’t feel safe at work, I don’t feel safe in the field. Honestly, the only place I feel safe is here. I guess that’s why I don’t want these meetings to end. See there goes my vast psychological knowledge at work.”

There was a moment of silence where y/n said, “See this is exactly why I didn’t want to say anything. Your face looks sad, like you’re pitying me right now.” 

“I’m not pitying you, y/n. That’s not what I'm feeling right now. I’m feeling sad for someone I care about because they just told me they don’t feel safe anymore. I’m frustrated that you can’t function in life without being scared. I’m angry that some maniac decided to set his sights on you and now you’re not who you were before. I’m just pissed, I’m…I don’t even know.” 

“I think you’re more angry than I am. Can’t you take some comfort that I find some solace in here with you?” 

“Well, I mean yeah, but it doesn’t make me any less angry. Why…why do you feel safe here?”

“I don’t know. I mean I guess because well first off, you obviously. Talking to you makes me feel like I don’t have anything to worry about. It’s also a small office, only one access point, so logically I have a better chance of protecting myself.” 

“I don’t like that, but I can understand it. I wish that you didn’t have to feel like that.” Lance said, putting his notebook down and moving next to y/n on the couch. 

“Not very psychologist-like of you, Lance.”

“You’re right, but very friend-like of me. That’s what’s more important right now I believe.” 

“Well thank you for being my friend. I…I…uhh really appreciate that. I appreciate you.” 

Session 4

“Sooooooo, you said we can talk about you this time, right??”

“If you’re so inclined, I still think we should talk about you though.” 

“I just think that you want to avoid being psycho-analyzed like you do to everyone who sits on this couch.” 

“Hey, that’s not fair.” 

“I think it’s very fair. Anywhooooooooo, tell me more about what you were like as a kid.”

“Oh so now you’re going to delve into my childhood trauma?” 

“I mean yes that was the plan, but you seem to have uncovered it way too soon. See no fun.” 

“I already told you about growing up with my parents. Dissect from that what you will.”

“Well yeah, but what were you like, 6 or 7? What about before that? And what about your biological parents? Did you know anything about them?” 

“It’s not really something I want to get into y/n.” 

“Come on, you show me yours, I’ll show you mine. We can go question for question.” 

“Y/n. I said I do not want to talk about it! THAT’S IT.” Lance said angrily. 

“Lance, I’m sorry, I didn’t know how serious it was. Really, I’m sorry for pushing. I didn’t mean to upset you.” 

“No, y/n, it’s me. God, I’m such an asshole. It just…well it wasn’t a good time before I got adopted by my parents. I didn’t feel safe before them. That’s…that’s all I want to say.” 

“Understood. I’m sorry that you had to go through that, I can’t imagine anyone wanting to hurt you now, let alone little 6 year old you with a sweet little baby face. You know your last name actually fits you very well, kinda like fate if you ask me.” 

“That’s very kind y/n. Thank you, I appreciate it.” Sweets smiled at y/n. 

“Just being a friend, nothing to thank me for here.” 

Session 5

“So, I’ve come to a conclusion.” Y/n said, smiling cheekily to Lance.

“Oh, and what’s that?” 

“You’re literally being paid to sit here and talk to your best friend. That’s like a totally cushy gig.” 

“Oh, you’re my best friend?”

“I mean yes. Clearly, we are definitely best friends. It's, like, completely obvious.” 

“I was unaware so thank you for informing me of that.” 

“Lance, come on. You totally know we’re best friends. Don’t try to hide it. You have no reason to be embarrassed, you know, I’m a pretty cool person.” 

“Well, you are a pretty cool person. And like I said previously, I do consider you part of the family I’ve made. I guess it is obvious we’re best friends, silly me for not recognizing it earlier.” 

“I like talking to you Lance.”

“I like talking to you as well, y/n.” 

Session 6

“Y/n.” 

“Woah, you sound serious.”

“I am, there’s something I have to talk to you about.” 

“Okay, I’m listening.” 

“I can’t be your psychologist anymore.” 

“Woah, wait, what. What do you mean? Where is this coming from? Lance, did I do something? Say something?”

“Y/n, it’s not about you. Well, I mean not like that. It’s nothing that you did, or said. I…I just. Well you were right before, this is kind of a conflict of interest. Professionally, I shouldn’t be seeing you. It’s not right.” 

“Oh, I, uh…thanks for proving me right I guess. Um…I think I’m going to go now.” 

“No! Wait! I know you feel safe here, with me, in this room. We can still talk here, we can still have these conversations. I don’t want to take that away from you. I’m just recommending that I cannot adequately finish clearing you from what happened.”

“I don’t understand what’s changed suddenly. I brought this up weeks ago. I don’t want to go sit in someone else’s office and talk about this shit. I didn’t want to go through this in the first place. Lance, I don’t understand why you would do this. You know how hard this was for me, I can’t believe you would do this.” 

“Y/n, just trust me, it’s for the best.” 

“I don’t trust you right now. This isn’t what is best for me. I can’t believe this, I can’t believe yo-”

Lance cut y/n off, “Y/n I LOVE YOU…I…I am in freaking love with you and that’s why I can’t do this anymore. It’s not fair to me either.” 

“Lance…I…you…I…” 

“I think you should leave now.”

“Wait, wait, no…I love you too. I’ve been falling for you since the moment I met you.” 

“y/n-”

“I’m serious. All of these sessions just confirmed it more for me. That’s why I felt safe here, with you. You make me feel like I don’t have to worry or be scared anymore.” 

“Y/n, I…you make… you’re-” 

“Just shut up and kiss me already.” Y/n said, already leaning in to place her lips on his.

[infiniteko]

https://www.tumblr.com/infiniteko/740550010507280384/these-non-dualists-seems-to-be-so-bitter-and-for

completely agree with you!

this is why it always makes me laugh when people accuse others of “acting from ego” simply because they critiqued someone or said anything remotely ‘negative’?? ego is just a thought (unreal). it is just this illusory sense of “me, mine”, this sense of being an individual body-mind… so if that’s the case, ‘we’ are technically all “acting from ego”. we all appear to have different livelihoods, interests, preferences, hobbies, relationships, etc…

for as long as you (THAT) choose to express yourself as a person, why not make it fun!!😋 you (THAT) created 7 billion people so you can entertain yourself with disagreements and debates and difference of opinion. the beauty of it is that, ultimately, it is still all just THAT.

no one who truly knows that every thing is all the same “ ” wishes genuine harm or unhappiness on another person. everyone i have met who follows this ‘way of life’, myself included, are all the most chill, laid back, lazy mfs you could meet😭. we have no energy for sincere hatred, and there would be no one to hate but yourself anyway lol.

sending you guys (infiniteko) and anyone reading this lots of love & prosperity 🤍 you’re here to enjoy the dream, so enjoy it & don’t take it too seriously :)

Literally.👍🏻

Criticism ≠ Bullying

Criticizing posts does not mean Bullying the Writer of them, even if it were multiple posts.

Just like how Anons & I criticized people who offer Coachings with the same exact words that are for free on the internet. We criticized Sammy 1-2 days ago or that Scarlet person. Is that bullying them? If they were to delete their socials, did we bully them out of here too? Why would they care about our opinion of them? They're doing fine with that they're posting

Like you said, If one knows everything's "THAT", criticism will not phase you because it is "THAT". Only if you take it personal, it will. We've been criticized by anonymous (& not-anon) people, do we care? It's still THAT. I'm critizing myself. You (THAT) have a problem with yourself (THAT). They're us, we're you. You can say whatever you want to, everyone's fine here.

There was this Msperfect777 person here (is the name correct?) and one Anon pointed out that K once replied to an older post that was limited and MsP.777 wasn't insulted by it. She deleted the apps but that was because her work here is done, just like realitywarpingg did

I've already told Anons to directly show me which part of what I said was "bullying her".

If you like her stuff, go like her stuff. She has 10x as many followers as we do. If she wanted to she could've sent them after us so fast.

Put your thinking caps on for a minute, with her seeming range and success, why would she deactived because of 1 senseless seeming opinion if she knows what she knows. Her likes are idk, probably in the low-mid-hundreds, she has more supporters than criticizers. Why would she care.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Why do rumors about Harry and Meghan don’t seem to stick but rumors about William and Kate do? I mean, among a certain demographic or type of people at least. With rumors about H&M, I only ever see people who hate them repeat those rumors, and quite frankly, sometimes they start to sound a bit extreme to me if I try to take a step back from the internet & remember I don’t actually know these people. But with rumors about William and Kate, they get traction outside the sussex squad circle, particularly on Twitter. They get made fun of a lot and I just get this heavy feeling because I feel like there’s so much anger from the sussex squad that they would literally say the worst things about W&K (I see that there’s also so much anger towards Meghan and Harry but of course I have my bias so I feel bad about the ones about W&K more. It’s annoying when some social justice warrior on Twitter say things like “these people defending Kate, do you do the same for Meghan?”. Like, I’m defending Kate because I’m a fan, duh.) l. But anyway, outside our little circle here, people don’t take seriously the rumors regarding Meghan’s kids, for example. Like, some people here say there are rumors that Harry was violent to women, but outside the little circle of extreme royalists/wales fans, nobody thinks of Harry as a violent man. But they do genuinely believe the rumors about William and Kate even though they do not have any proof or whatsoever. They genuinely believe Kate is a victim of William, that he cheats on her, that he’s a bully.

I responded to someone who was spreading some wrong information about Kate’s sick leave (they said it was weird they didn’t post a photo for her birthday — i said they don’t do that every year, they said it was weird they didn’t release a photo of william taking care of the kids/it’s weird we haven’t seen the kids — i said it’s not weird because we only see the kids a few times a year, they said 9 months was weird — i said KP never said 9 months!) I literally simply corrected the wrong information the person was spewing. And then someone responded to me that I sound like the “leave britney alone” people, perhaps implying that i am a part of the problem because I am not entertaining the idea that Kate might need help?? Just because I think before jumping into conspiracy theories? Anyway, it was just a random person on the internet and I shouldn’t be bothered, but still… lol.

That was on reddit. I probably should just avoid that place if the things people have been saying make me feel bad but I wanted to set the record straight lol. Anyway, I also saw some people there quoting articles and stuff about William’s alleged temper. And I’m just like people have been talking about Harry’s temper for years too and they’ve also been documented in articles and books! I guess the difference for them is that Harry has been so open about his therapy.

I also have a confession to make. I was curious about the nature of rumors, so I did a little experiment and sent a tip to deuxmoi to see how easy it really is for anyone to just send it whatever. I didn’t want to make up something really potentially damaging, so I sent something innocent. I just said Meghan wants to work with Greta Gerwig. It got posted but didn’t get any attention. But I feel like if someone sent it something there like Meghan has a sex kink or whatever it still wouldn’t make as much traction as whatever sexual rumor they assigned to William. It would be seen as really disgusting (and rightly so). I mean, I probably shouldn’t feel that bad for a man who would be king and has the resources to protect himself, but people have been sexualizing William perhaps since he turned 18 and the rumors sussex squad spread about him are just another way of doing that.

It’s bothering me these days to be honest. I fear logging on to the internet fearing the things I will see about W&K. I certainly need to step back lol. I also remind myself there are things beyond our control. I look at it from a historical perspective, like there are rumors Anne Boleyn had six toes. So I guess it just comes with the territory for William and Kate that people could say absolutely anything about them.

Part of it probably is that it comes with the territory for William and Kate. Everyone in positions of power have an opposition that wants to weaken their impact so they use gossip as a tool to undermine them. Celebrities, politicians, athletes, rival friend groups in school.

But there are also two other reasons to consider.

First is that we don't actually know a whole lot about William and Kate. Despite being incredibly popular and famous, they're actually pretty private. We don't really know who William and Kate (as well as George, Charlotte, and Louis) are beyond what they have said in interviews or done in public on their engagements. They also don't speak to the press, fully adhering to "never complain, never explain." So because we don't know a whole lot about them, it's easier to make things up to justify, explain, or describe what we see. It sticks because they're never going to address it: not to confirm, not to deny, not to deflect.

Unlike Meghan and Harry. They're constantly talking to the press and constantly addressing whatever is being said about them. They give us information to that justifies, explains, describes what they do. We don't need to make stuff up because they're giving it to us on a silver platter. But more than that, specifically when it comes to the more egregious rumors like the ones about their children, they go straight to the narcisstic DARVOing, which is particularly effective at getting people to stop talking about you.

Second is that the Sussexes have the power of repetition. The rumors they create and the stories they tell about the Waleses stick because they keep being told. They sell the same story to People, Page Six, The Cut, E News, the Daily Mail, and Netfilix. Then they tell the same story to Scobie, Abigail Spencer, MIsan, Oprah, Tyler Perry, CDAN, DeuxMoi, Bouzy, and the social media bots. And all those publications, all those people, all those bots talk about it so it picks up traction, everyone repeats it, and it spreads like wildfire. Because the Sussexes have told so many people, there are many sources talking about it, so the general public is more likely to believe it - "I heard it from X, Y, Z, and 1, 2, 3, so it MUST be true."

Unlike William and Kate, who don't have pet reporters or pet publications or bots to fight these battles with. At most, they talk to one reporter for an exclusive every 2-3 months, if even. So because there's no "institutional backing" to Sussex rumors that spend the time and effort to keep them in the public space (like Oprah, Netflix, People, or even the Waleses themselves) long enough for the more mainstream public to become aware, the Sussex rumors die on the vine and everyone who talks about it looks unhinged.

That's why Kensington Palace speaking to Page Six was so groundbreaking. It's the first time the Waleses met the Sussexes where they are and hints that they're aware the Sussexes may have had a hand in creating the controversy. Usually when KP speaks to Americans, they do it through traditional mainstream press (the New York Times, Washington Post, NBC, ABC, etc.). They've never gone directly and personally to a Sussex/Meghan PR mouthpiece before.

(I don't count People as a Sussex-exclusive source because the BRF has used People long before Meghan came around. People takes stories from anyone with the money to pay them.)

[rubykgrant]

(found some old notes I had for the RVB story-line where they have normal people shenanigans on Earth, so I'm sharing it again~)

-Everybody tries to “retire” again, but this time on Earth so they aren’t just alone with themselves on a moon. Whatever clown organization that calls itself the government has decided to basically just let them live rent-free in some big building in some city (some wacky made-up place that can be in Texas, because that's funny).

-Most of them find new ways to chill, and they don’t really get recognized by civilians since literally nobody has seen their faces before, and they go by first names in public. They all find hobbies to try. At some point, Dr Grey gave Wash the advice to keep a video journal to help him remember various events. Andrews suggest this could help the others record their thoughts for any future interviews, so they join in

-Donut gets a job at an a pet shop/animal rescue center (he eventually brings back two kittens for Wash). He doesn’t really need the money, he just enjoys it and needed to find something to do (sometimes he helps with more serious animal injuries and emergencies for large creatures, because he was a farm kid)

-Donut also becomes BFFs with Kai; they just have lots of fun together, he helps her pick out clothes (since she’s colorblind and he’s color-coordinated), she’s really supportive of his "mean streak", and he’s also a great wing-man when she goes out to flirt (Tucker tries to tag along, but he still needs to... refine his flirting technique. he's trying, he really is!)

-Caboose also wants to get a job, because otherwise he’s just home all day waiting for everybody else to come back. He starts working at a mall... and he constantly gets shuffled around from one place to another (did you ever see that show 6teen? OK, that, but it is all just Caboose). The manager of the mall knows who “Michael” really is, and is trying to be respectful by helping out a space hero... but also, this guy is VERY accident-prone. Eventually, Caboose finds a niche as a costume character who entertains people for special events

-Sarge is trying to find new ways to deal with boredom without declaring war on gravity, so he decides to write a book about his life... this leads him to seek advice on the internet (once Simmons shows him how to use a computer). The result is, Sarge discovers thousands of ways to argue with every single troll online (jokes on them, he’s even more annoying than all of them put together)

-There is an on-going problem of Sarge trying to tell his boys from Red Team that he actually cares about them, but he keeps on backing out from it at the last minute. He really WANTS to be nice, but he’s been gruff and grumpy for so long, and it is hard to change the behavior everybody expects from you (this is actually a WHOLE THEME for a few characters)

-Doc FINALLY decides to try and an ACTUAL degree in medicine (he also makes a few new friends this way, and it becomes important that he’s doing this later. one character at the med school is like 19 and got pushed into this by over-achieving parents, so Doc basically adopts them as a younger sib)

-Lopez gets to make friends with the neighbors they have, and not only does this give him a chance to have a life outside the group of danger-magnets, it also makes everybody kinda miss having him around, so they take more of an interest in him (they even get him a motorcycle)

-Grif and Simmons are roommates again, but Grif is making a legit effort to be less annoying, which Simmons appreciates (Kai keeps nudging her bro to try and have another talk with the dude he’s been interested in for more than a decade, but any attempt Grif makes to get Simmons to understand how he feels goes unnoticed. Grif finally gives up and insists that he’s more comfortable with their relationship being the way it always has been... but his sister still catches him YEARNING)

-Tucker kinda feels lonely... everybody else is figuring out ways to enjoy their time/keep busy, but he hasn’t found his groove (he can't fall back into old habits because the Character Growth definitely happened, as much as it bothers him). He tries to go and contact some of kids he thought he had on Chorus... which is when he discovers there was a mistake. Turns out a lot of files got accidentally deleted, and thanks to a glitch, Tucker's info got auto-filled in as the father in ALL the DNA tests. He in fact does not have any biological kids on Chorus, and he’s a little disappointed by this (he's not even mad about paying child support) He tries to find the one kid he KNOWS is his, because he misses Junior so MUCH, but isn’t able to get in touch...

-Carolina is BORED. She doesn’t know what the heck to do with herself. When the others finally notice she seems kinda down, they start inviting her out to do stuff. At first she’s not even sure how to just have “fun”, but she finally gives in. Eventually, they take her to a karaoke bar, sing a very bad group-performance of “Sweet Caroline” to her, and she about dies laughing. This becomes a favorite thing for her, so they all go back and sing something there maybe once or twice a week (this also becomes a fun activity for her and Tucker, who she didn’t think she’d really bond with, but he’s chilled-out on being a perv, they’ve both been sort of lost... and they both share Church stories with each other)

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

I know it is only anybodys guessing really, and I truly do not want to sound like 'the historian' but you would go as far as calling these relationships of napoleon 'homoerotic'? Why? Couldn't it be the case of him having just very warm attitude and be close to his friends like that?

Again nothing against it, but I needed to ask since I as well am the person to get alike towards my close friends and I don't feel it having any attraction undertones.

Thank you for the ask! As usual for me, my response got really long.

I mean correct! It’s literally anyone’s guess. Who knows? Certainly not me! Certainly no one who is alive right now!

I’m just a queer on the internet having fun who sees Napoleon and goes "ah yes, a chaotic bisexual even though the concept of modern sexual identity wasn't a thing in his time etc. etc. [insert all the other usual disclaimers required on this webbedsite]" so that's why.

[How do I know he’s a chaotic bi? Well, it’s very simple, he couldn’t sit properly in a chair, liked to sit on his secretaries’ laps, pull their ears, and tell them Fun Facts he learned that day, and wanted to make the tsar of Russia his mistress. He also dearly loved Josephine and wrote about how he liked going down on her. This is clear proof that he was a chaotic bi king and we should be so lucky to know this about him. ;)]

I'm also a writer who likes to slap a queer lens onto most things because that's how I role and I'm very unapologetic about it. Which most people who follow me know.

I’m also someone who has incredibly deep, intimate friendships with a close selection of people in my life that are not romantic/sexual or whatever in their nature—but they are incredibly intimate. They are friendships where partners of my friends have been jealous and insecure because of how close we are—which is a them problem, not an us problem.

I would go so far as to argue that friends are more likely to slot into that problematic category of “soulmate” than anyone romantic (ymmv). And from the outside, I’m sure people might read my friendships with a few people (have read them, in fact) as romantic/homoerotic and frankly I don’t care. Whatever. I know what my friendships are, why does it matter what other people read them as? More to the point, why does it matter that someone reads a dead person’s friendships as homo-something? How does that impact my friendships which may, or may not, mirror that dead person’s friendships? Who cares? One should love one’s friends however one wishes to. Fuck everything else.

--

In an effort to avoid the Great Queer Napoleon Discourse War of 2013-14 I shall include a disclaimer because hot damn do people get REALLY uppity about this: I’m a writer, first and foremost in all things. I’m not a historian. As noted above, I’m a queer fag on the internet having fun. Take what I say with a grain of salt.

(Honestly, doing anything with Napoleon’s sexuality aside from He Was the Straightest Straight Who Ever Straighted, gets everyone’s hackles raised. I think that says more about those with hackles up than it does the person going: maybe he might have had a bit of a queerness about him, it’s not implausible.)

--

Some general stuff on Napoleon & That Doesn’t Seem Entirely Straight, Even For the 18th and 19th Century:

From Cronin’s biography on Napoleon:

“Napoleon found that his friendships with men often began with physical attraction, and this took a curious form. ‘He told me,’ says Caulcaincourt, ‘…that for him the heart was not the organ of sentiment; that he felt emotions only where most men experience feelings of a different kind; nothing in the heart, everything in the loins and in another place, which I leave nameless.’ 

The feeling Napoleon described as ‘a sort of painful tingling, a nervous irritability…the squeaking of a saw sometimes gives me the same sensation’.”

In addition, Talleyrand speculated Napoleon and Bourienne were, uh, intimate in all senses of the word. Talleyrand, of course, well—one should treat his hot takes with some caution.

There is also the (in)famous letter Napoleon wrote to Josephine about Alexander where he said that he and Alexander were inordinately pleased with one another and if the tsar were a woman, he’d take Alexander as his mistress (Napoleon, honey, don’t write that to your wife).

I mean, do what you want with that. Take it for what it’s worth /shrug

---

Of the three friendships under discussion: Lannes, Duroc, Junot—I always read Lannes and Napoleon’s friendship as just friendship. Duroc and Junot though. That’s where we start getting into arguments for a homoerotic friendship—or romantic friendship, if one prefers that term.

I’ll do a little ramble for each, because they all deserve it.

Lannes

Napoleon’s friendship with Lannes was intimate, close, and they loved each other dearly—but as said, I always read them as friends. Even if they lived today and were free/able to be whatever they wanted to be to one another, it’d still just be friendship.

People did make Achilles/Patroclus references to them—particularly around Lannes’ death—but that was the mode of how people spoke back then. It’s the 19th century version of comparing everything to LOTR or Harry Potter (read another classical epic people, jeez).

Their friendship was volatile for sure—these are two hot headed, strong minded, opinionated men who were not afraid to snap and snarl at one another—but at the end of the day I do not doubt their love for each other. But it’s what we would term a platonic love.  

Brian Martin writes this in Napoleonic Friendship: Military Fraternity, Intimacy, and Sexuality in Nineteenth-century France:

Napoleon’s grief for Marshal Lannes took on the very public character of open lamentation. Rather than grieve behind closed doors and conceal his personal vulnerabilities in order to show public strength, Napoleon’s mourning for his beloved friend became a matter of great public spectacle. Like Achilles mourning his beloved Patroclus, Napoleon wept publicly and openly expressed his affection in a way that was widely reported, discussed, and admired by the officers and soldiers in his armies.

[…]

Napoleon’s public grief at the death of Jean Lannes represented a new model for social relations between soldiers in the early nineteenth-century France. weeping over his friend’s broken body, Napoleon demonstrated how the revolution and empire had made it possible not only for an emperor to grieve openly for a fallen marshal, but for a soldier to love his comrade. This uncharacteristic expression of affection between Napoleon and Lannes was echoes in similar relationships between officers and foot soldiers in Napoleon’s armies. Military memories of the first empire bear witness to a wide range of intimate relationships among generals, colonels, and captains as well as sergeants, corporals, and grunts (grognards), the infantry soldiers who made up the majority of the imperial armies. Napoleon’s love for Lannes might thus be said to represent a broad spectrum of masculine affection and intimacy in the ranks of the Grande Armée, or what could be called Napoleonic friendship.

So yeah, I’ve not much more to say on them. Their friendship was loving, affectionate, intimate, and complex. Lannes could be frustrated with Napoleon (often was, the longer Napoleon remained in power—because Lannes loved Bonaparte not the emperor), but Lannes loved his friend and Napoleon loved Lannes. But my read on them has always been that it was what we would term platonic.

------

Junot

This one is messy. Because Junot and Napoleon are messy people. I also think this one is the strongest case for “something more than friendship”. I personally believe Junot loved Napoleon in a deep, phenomenal, possibly obsessive fashion that absolutely was romantic—maybe sexual/erotic—and Napoleon for a time may have returned at least some of those feelings. Then it all went south.

I’m ripping a lot of this from a previous ask I received about Junot—since it covered a lot of the more romantic aspects of his and Napoleon’s relationship.

Junot and Napoleon were close friends when they were in their 20s. Incredibly close. Laure Junot, whose memoires one should treat cautiously, intimated that there was more than just friendship between them at this point. But if that is the case, we’ll never know for certain.

Brian Martin sums it up well (and saves me from having to dig out my copy of Laure’s memoir):

Soon after his imprisonment, Napoleon was released and exonerated, but with little money and no desire to take on a new military post in Brittany, he returned to Paris where, as Laure Junot explains, he lived with his comrade Junot and depended on his friend’s emotional and financial support … The 1794 letter from Toulon initiates a half-year period in the lives of the twenty-five-year-old Bonaparte and twenty-three-year-old Junot when … these ambitious young men relied on each other during their impecunious days in Paris. Describing how Junot “loved Bonaparte as one loves at the age” (1: 188), Laure Junot implies that the young Jean-Andoche developed an adolescent crush on Napoleon, as the two young men grew in intimacy.

[…]

Laure Junot tactfully observes many years later that it was difficult to assess the nature of these friendships [with Duroc and Junot] without offending their masculinity: “These are the very profound and abstract mysteries of the human heart. It is difficult to explain them without first wounding a man’s dignity” (11: 131).

In relegating Napoleon’s military relationships to the realm of the mysteries, Laure Junot defines Napoleonic friendship — long before “the love that dare not speak its name” was articulated by Lord Alfred Douglas in 1894 and invoked at Oscar Wilde’s trial in 1895 —as an enigmatic and unspeakable love incapable of being articulated without shaming a soldier’s manhood. Amid such ambiguity, it is unclear if such “mysteries” encompass both the emotional and the erotic. What is clearer is that Napoleon and Junot shared a degree of affection during their youth in Paris that was undeniably intimate.

As Napoleon climbed up the greasy pole, the power dynamic changed and expectations of interpersonal relationships became more formal putting a strain on his and Junot’s friendship. Junot, like many who knew Napoleon from the early days, loved Bonaparte, not the emperor. As Laure put it in her memoire: “Now let me explain the sadness and pain which afflicted Junot on learning that Napoleon was no longer his General Bonaparte of Toulon. Perhaps the affair simply followed a natural decline. But Junot … did not see it this way. He wanted reciprocity, which he craved even more as his own affectionate fantasies increased … He loved the man, not the emperor.”

In 1800, Napoleon named Junot Commandant of Paris on the condition that he marry because, it seems, there were too many rumours flying around about the two of them. (As noted above, Talleyrand was already making some “huh. Interesting closeness, there” comments about Napoleon.) Dutifully, Junot married Laure.

Junot always exhibited some signs of mental illness throughout his life and at one point he received a head wound (I forget which battle) that massively exacerbated whatever existing mental health troubles he had. (And note that this was one of many wounds - nor was it his first head wound. It’s just the one people in his own life pointed to as a moment of change.)

Junot had jealous and possessive tendencies, something that drove Napoleon a little batty, and they got worse. While Junot was in Portugal, and later Spain, he wrote Napoleon a series of desperate letters begging him to reappoint Junot as his aid-de-camp. We unfortunately don’t have these letters anymore, Napoleon was notoriously secretive and private when it came to personal correspondence and had a habit of burning lots of it. However, we do have Laure’s account of Napoleon’s reception of Junot’s pleading. Laure writes:

"Look here, Madame, what your husband writes to me!’ said the Emperor, ‘Read this and tell me if he sends you such letters."

I read these letters, and this caused me some pain: my husband sent me affectionate missives, but never in the tone of a lover; here were letters that resembled those between Julie and Saint-Preux, or those of the Portuguese nun.*

Napoleon then goes on and says:

“In admitting that Junot loves me more than anything in the world … [he demonstrates] that he does not love me more than his own ambition”

To which Laure replies:

“He loves you, Sire, more than all the honours that you can give, more than your crown, more than me perhaps, for it was pride that made me say the contrary just now, perhaps even more than his children!”

-

*Note: She’s referencing Guilleragues’s Portuguese Letters (1669) and Rousseau’s Julie or the New Héloïse (1761)

Also, as I said above, treat Laure’s accounts cautiously. As with all memoirs, she is positioning certain scenes with a purpose and some things are downplayed, or exaggerated, accordingly.

-

In 1813, Napoleon dismissed Junot from military duty and sent him off to be governor of Illyria which Junot, rightly or wrongly, saw as a form of exile. During his ambassadorship he famously entered a ballroom wearing nothing but his epaulettes and his medals. [above para' edited per conversation in the notes]

Brian Martin:

While one could blame Junot’s naked diplomacy on his progressive dementia, his shocking entrance can also be seen as a kind of buff rebuff to Napoleon. After a lifetime fighting for Bonaparte, watching shrapnel rip into young men’s bodies, leading thousands of soldiers to their deaths, and suffering twenty-seven wounds* of his own, Junot offered his own ravaged body as a hideous and spectacular product of Napoleon’s violence.

-

*Note: Junot says he had 17 wounds, not sure where Martin got 27 - unless there were wounds Junot wasn’t counting.

-

After this incident, Junot was swiftly recalled back to France where he soon after died by suicide.

In his final letter to Napoleon he wrote:

“I who love you with the affection of a savage for the sun, I who am entirely yours. Well then: this eternal war that we must fight for you, I want no more of! I want peace! I want finally to repose my tired head, my sore limbs … to enjoy that which I earned … with my blood! The blood of an honest man, of a good Frenchman, of a true patriot. I therefore ask, at last, for that tranquillity that I earned through twenty-two years of effective service and seventeen wounds from which my blood has flowed for my country, and for your glory.” (emphasis in original)

After Junot’s death, Napoleon ordered that Junot’s personal papers be seized and destroyed as he was afraid their personal correspondence might make its way to a public forum.

So yeah, Junot’s love for Napoleon was definitely on the romantic side, I would say. Because Napoleon burned all their correspondence we don’t know what he sent in reply to Junot—especially in the early days of their relationship. I suspect it was intimate and possibly in line with what Junot continued to send him throughout their life and like hell did Napoleon want that escaping to the public.

Anyway—Junot and Napoleon, I would argue definitely had some homoerotic/romantic undertones and such to their friendship. I think it was mutual in their 20s then Napoleon’s feelings retreated to more platonic but Junot’s never changed.

It just man, gives me strong flashbacks to when I was a teenager and one of my best friends at the time  declared herself my soulmate and carved my initials into her arm and left me a million and a half messages on the home answering machine and said that I was cold like Napoleon and she loved me for it etc. etc.

When I look at Junot and Napoleon I see myself and my old friend in all that glory of the strange complexities of young, intensely emotional and intimate friendships that absolutely blur the line into romantic/erotic.

------

Duroc

Ah sweet Duroc! Duroc who regularly compared himself to Junot in terms of his relationship to Napoleon.

Duroc to Laure Junot in May of 1813:  “Poor Junot! It’s that he’s like me! The Emperor’s friendship is our whole life.”

And again, this is from Laure’s memoirs:

‘Junot and some others,’ Duroc said to me, ‘misjudge me and misjudge my position as well. The Emperor would disgrace me if he made me a marshal of France. What would I do away from him? No doubt it’s a great honor; but my attachment to him, how could it not be affected by that distance? I love the Emperor as Junot loves him. And isn’t he going to choose the post of first aide-de-camp instead of that of governor of Paris? So why judge me otherwise!’

-

Duroc’s a hard one to pin down because he was such an exemplary marshal of the palace, in addition he left us no diaries or memoirs so we have the word of others and what survived of his letters, little else to go on.

However, I think it telling that Duroc compared himself to regularly to Junot—who everyone was aware of how he felt about Napoleon—and that Junot was so jealous of Duroc. That Junot saw Duroc as a rival for Napoleon’s affection and love but not Lannes tells me that clearly Junot could see the similarity of what Duroc and Napoleon had to what he and Napoleon may have once had but didn’t anymore. And, that Lannes was different. It was a different relationship and one that Junot didn’t find threatening.

It's also worth nothing that Duroc was the only one of Napoleon’s officers, aside from Lannes, who was allowed to use tu with Napoleon. Las Cases writes: “I’ve heard the Emperor say that in all of his military career, Duroc alone possessed his blind confidence and received all his affection … Duroc loved the Emperor for himself; he was devoted most of all to the private man, even more than to the monarch”

Duroc’s role as marshal of the palace also put him in an interesting position as a sort of quasi-wife to Napoleon. The role he played was very much a “wife” role—Cronin summarizes Duroc’s duties thus:

"Napoleon was struck by Duroc’s sweet nature, his beautiful manners and the patience which he himself lacked. So he employed his friend as a diplomat and when he became Emperor chose him to run the household and court. […] He had his hands full ensuring that the grocer did not overcharge for the Chambertin, since Napoleon would be sure to notice, and, as Napoleon put on weight, tactfully persuading the Imperial Tailor not to make new clothes but to let out the old ones a couple of inches. He also had to make peace when Napoleon lost his temper: pushing over the table, for example, when he saw crépinettes of partridge. He did this admirably, because he was devoted to Napoleon. Many a time, when the Emperor had hurt a visitor with a sharp word, Duroc would murmur on the way out: ‘Forget it. He says what he feels, not what he thinks, and not what he’ll do tomorrow.’"

No one else of Napoleon’s intimate friends really takes on that wifely role—even after Duroc’s death. Bertrand has the same role, Marshal of the Palace, and he was damn good at his job, just as Duroc was, but there was a difference in their relationship and Bertrand doesn’t read as so close and devoted on a marital level to Napoleon. Not that Bertrand didn’t love Napoleon, he did, gods know he did, but it was more in line with Lannes than Duroc or Junot.

Napoleon describes Duroc to Las Cases:

‘Duroc,’ concluded he, ‘had lively, tender, and concealed passions, little corresponding with the coldness of his manner. It was long before I knew this, so exact and regular was his service. It was not until my day was entirely closed and finished, and I was enjoying repose, that Duroc’s work begun. Chance, or by some accident, could alone have made me acquainted with his character. He was a pure and virtuous man, utterly disinterested, and extremely generous.’

[…]

When he [Napoleon] went to see Duroc, after he had received his mortal wound, he attempted to hold out some hopes to him; but Duroc, who did not deceive himself, only replied by begging [Napoleon] to make them give him opium. …

After this recollection, the emperor, with an apparent effort, began abruptly to talk of something else.

I believe that Napoleon and Duroc were able to see each other’s interiority in a way that few others were able to and that formed the basis for their affection, love and friendship.

Duroc’s letters to Napoleon, anytime they were apart, are also more intense than usual. Plenty of Napoleon’s friends wrote about wanting to be by his side when they were sent off on diplomatic missions or what have you. But Duroc’s express a particularly intense form of devotion:

Duroc to Napoleon, May 29, 1801:

I am waiting to leave, Citizen Consul, until I receive a response to the letters that I had the honor to write you, unless the circumstances or the letters I receive from Paris let me judge that I can leave earlier. I beg you to remember that I am eight hundred leagues from you and, although I’ve been well-received here, I am never better than when I am near you. (Emphasis in the original)

Duroc to Napoleon, July 7, 1801:

I have sought to conduct myself here, Citizen Consul, in a manner that would satisfy you. I am well-regarded and thought highly of everywhere because I belong to you particularly, but I will not be happy until I’m sure that I deserve your approval. I am waiting to set my departure until I know that you’ve received the letter that I had the honor to write you and that I sent with Captain Leclerc. I very much want to find myself near you as soon as possible. (Emphasis in the original)

When Napoleon offered to have Hortense marry Duroc, Napoleon’s proposition was that Duroc would receive five hundred thousand francs and be named commandant of the 8th military division and would be stationed in Toulon (Napoleon was against having a son-in-law in the house).

When the proposition was passed on to Duroc he turned it down because he didn’t want to be sent away from Napoleon’s side and if marriage meant being apart, he didn’t want it, even though from all accounts he was quite fond of Hortense (and she was fond of him).

Later, when Napoleon was having to negotiate his name in exile he said to Barry O’Meara:

“The name of General Bonaparte was the one which I bore at Campo Formio and at Lunneville, when I dictated terms of peace with the Emperor of Austria. I bore it at Amiens when I signed the peace with England. I should be proud to bear it still, but the honour of France forbids me to acknowledge the right of the King of England to annul the acts of the French people. My intention was to take the name of Duroc.”

But he felt he had to keep Emperor Napoleon in order to Make A statement.

In another account, I forget to who, he repeated his intent to have taken on Duroc’s name in exile in order to be a little more incognito/not draw attention to himself, but because England refused to acknowledge that he had been emperor he was like “fuck that, I’m going to insist on being called emperor”. So, had England not been like “you were never emperor” it’s possible Napoleon would have taken Duroc’s surname as his own.

How very married of them.

------

Apologies for the long reply. Not sure this will really answer anything, but it's an amalgamation of my thoughts.

Junot is the clearest of the homo-something friendship between Napoleon and another man. Like, I think that's a tough one to read as anything other than a messy break up. Which is why, when we were all nattering on about queering Napoleon in film yesterday, I focused so much on Junot over the others.

But same sex intimacy, even in Just Friends, can have homo-something undertones to it. Friendships can be complex, multilayered and include some romantic and erotic aspects to them. This doesn't mean those friendships are Romantic Relationships as we think of them, but if there's a romantic tinge to it, or a strong homoerotic tinge to it, then why not explore it? See where it takes the story or the interpretation and undestanding of the person and their actions. Maybe it'll go no where useful, maybe it will. Only one way to find out.

Thank you for the ask!

[cylidae]

Howdy. So I’ve noticed a ton of anti-recovery take surrounding the DID community - specifically fakeclaimers, so let’s talk about it. Sit down, get comfy, I promise this will only take… a while.

1. If you love having DID, you’re faking it.

I understand where this mentality comes from. It’s a mental illness, so it makes sense to assume everybody would want to get rid of it. Don’t get me wrong - if your DID comes with no problems for you, you don’t have it. It is a dehabilitating condition by nature. But let’s look at it this way.

You are stuck with this mental illness. You can take therapy to improve it, but you can never “cure” it (at least as far as we know now.) So why are we so opposed to people finding bits of happiness where they can? If this is inescapable, why can’t people find bits they enjoy?

No, it’s not good to romanticize it. That’s not what I’m saying. If you are pretending it is 100% ok, you’re making it harder for other people to get help by pretending it’s “fun.” But if you love your headmates, the community DID brings you, the different way of thinking you have? That’s a good thing! You’re learning to cope. Don’t bash people for that.

2. If you’re open about your DID, you’re faking it.

I cannot even begin to describe how much I hate this one. It set my recovery so far back. The internet made me believe that seeking out help was something people with DID never did. It trained me to see telling people as proof I’m faking. This just isn’t true.

DID is a disorder made to hide itself, yes, but not from others. From the person who has it. I’ve seen people say that DID inherently comes with shame for having it, but this isn’t part of the diagnostic criteria. We haven’t done enough research to really be able to tell if it’s the stigmatization or disorder itself that comes with shame.

But you know what really doesn’t help? Shaming people for asking for help. As if finding a place you feel safe enough to share means that you’re faking it.

3. If you use certain terms, you’re faking it.

This is completely untrue. Plural spaces use different terms. Using “split” and “headmate” doesn’t mean you’re faking. It means that you are engaged within plural communities, and therefore picked up their lingo. That’s literally it. Internet terms all start somewhere. You pick up terms from who you’re around. People seek out people similar to them. People similar to them use these terms. That’s literally it.

4. If you have fictives, you’re faking it.

Most people seem to believe fictives are a thing to some extent, but they’re ridiculously picky with how you have them. Too many? Faking. From a media they don’t like? Faking. Present in a “cringe” way? Faking. Seeking out things about the media they come from or people who share the same source media? Faking. From something that came out recently? Faking. I’ll just make a mini list within the list for these.

-There is no evidence that there is an upper limit to how many fictives a person can have or that they’re any rarer than brainmade alters. Anybody who says this is pulling it out of their ass.

-“Cringe” sources are one of my least favorite mentalities. People are constantly like “well I believe in fictives but really? Dream SMP?” If it’s too popular, you’re trendhopping. Too niche and it’s “Now they’re going for X?!?” There is no winning. They say they believe in fictives, but you have to be the most insanely specific fictive possible to be real in their eyes.

-I’ve seen a lot of people get pissy over cringe presentation. A lot of this is very transphobic. Such as a character from something who is a man, but is transfem within the system (happens way more with transfem alters, not sure why) or using unconventional pronouns. Being “cringy” does not mean you’re faking. And this should go without saying, but for the love of fucking god, being trans is not cringy.

-People often get a lot of flack for seeking sourcemates or engaging with their source. People call it roleplaying. It’s only a connection to your past though. It’s like wanting to see a childhood friend or watching old home video tapes. Anybody who says that alters aren’t actually connected to their sources is,again, pulling it out of their ass.

-I see a lot of “this jsut came out! How can they have an alter already?” Studies on how long it takes please? I’ve only had one split that ever took longer than a week. I feel like a broken record, but again, anybody who claims that there’s an amount of time to develop alters is pulling it out of their ass.

Shut the fuck up about fictives already. These people clearly think they’re invalid, but claim “they’re real, but not in literally every situation imaginable where they could exist.”

5. If you have healthy system communication/are functional, you’re faking it.

Untrue. Some systems just naturally have less barriers than others and some spend years breaking them down. Perpetuating the notion that recovering and learning to be more functional is “faking” is so insanely harmful. It tells people that they can’t make progress or be open about said progress, because making improvements to the way they live is faking a disorder.

6. If you’re X age, you’re faking.

I see a lot of “you’re a teenager! You can’t have DID!” Yes, you can. It develops in very early childhood (eight years old maximum. Teenagers rarely get diagnosed, true, but it’s possible to have the disorder has a teen. Everybody with the disorder did have it as a teen.

And before you say “Well you’ll never know you have it unless you’re diagnosed-“ give me proof. With every other disorder I have seen people be correct in their self speculation. Why is it so different for DID? Obviously without a formal diagnosis, you have no right to speak for the community or say you 100% have it, but self speculation doesn’t inherently mean you’re faking.

I also see “you’re this old and still faking?” So I ask, if being young means you’re faking and being old means you’re faking, what age am I allowed to just exist?

I need everybody to collectively shut up about all this bullshit. Sources or bust. And don’t say the excuse of “well it’s under-researched so we don’t have good sources yet-“ then don’t make fucking claims. You don’t know these people. Stop accusing them of faking. It’s very tiring.

[timecma]

Referring to the earlier ask you answered, the answer is no, no, no, no, and no, I threw darts and shuffled cards to get something random to send to you because I refuse to sleep and need something to pass the time and oh look I can annoy you without getting blocked again.

Anyways, this was very entertaining. 10/10 would do again.

Just as a heads up—I don’t just block people for the heck of it. I block people for a reason. And also, I didn’t block you, I muted you and prevented you from commenting more stuff that made me uncomfortable on my story and on my page. So, let me lay out a ground rule for you:

So long as we’re staying on topic (the topic of my story or OCs or TLOS) then I will respond to it.

If it’s personal stuff about things that are going on in YOUR life, then it doesn’t necessarily concern me and I don’t really want to hear about it. Because I don’t know you. If you were one of my friends, it would be a different story. But I do not consider you a friend. I would much rather you keep personal problems for your own social circle and not post them on my story/feed/etc. or else I really will block you. And no amount of people messaging in my DMs telling me that blocking you made you depressed will make me unblock you. Because, at the end of the day, I am my own person with my own levels of comfort and what I am able to manage. I get it. We all go through stuff. But I am not someone you know. I am a random guy on the internet just trying to share his silly creations with people. What happens in your life, what goes on with people you know, and if it is stuff that doesn’t concern me and there’s nothing I can do about it are things I don’t need to hear about. Normally I’m a nice guy. Normally I’m lenient and fun at the sake of my own comfort and mental health, but I’ve learned that I need to make sure I also look out for myself. If something happened to you that made you sad, my condolences. But I can’t make it all better for you magically. I am literally. Just. A. Guy. Again, a random dude on the internet. I’m sorry you’re dealing with stuff, but you need to seek help from your social/home circles or a professional. Not me. Because I am not your friend, and not included in those circles. I don’t know you personally. I appreciate you interacting with my content, but that’s as far as it goes. I’m a content creator. You’re someone who consumes the content. We don’t know each other personally and therefore cannot be friends. This is not meant to hurt you—I’m just telling you that I’ve had about enough of the personal stuff and I’ve let my arm be bent before.

I don’t make the same mistakes twice.

This isn’t just a warning for you, but for a lot of people out there who think it’s okay to send me stuff about topics that should REALLY include a trigger warning. I’m not going to respond to them anymore. I will delete them without a second thought. No, I am not ignoring you. Trust me, I see them. I just refuse to acknowledge them. Not because I don’t believe the topics are important, but because I believe you guys shouldn’t be telling them to me. I cannot do anything about them. I’m going to apologize and say I’m sorry, but that’s about all I can do in response to a lot of these topics. So, here you have it. The last time I’m going to say it. And the last time I will focus on anything like it:

Sorry.

[crowtrobotx]

I know this is out of the blue, but thank you so much for being a real one 👍✨️

Like I have nothing against people who see Heisenberg as a gay man, they’re entitled to think that. But I draw the hard line at people who feel the need to bash others just because their views don't align, and then when confronted use the piss poor "it's just a joke" or "it's just an observation" excuses. If you're going to be a bitch at least have the balls to own up to it.

Anyway, loved your work since 2021 and wishing you all the good vibes. 🤗

Oh my goodness, thank you!!! This is such a kind message and I appreciate you so much. ❤️ Good vibes right back at you. I’m glad that my rantings have resonated with folks because sometimes I wonder if *spongebob voice* I’M the maniac. Getting dragged into this stuff really makes me feel like it sometimes, haha.

Yes! To be clear I also truly do not care what your HC’s are! I love that there are people for whom gay Heisy is their thing and I hope they are having fun and keep making their art/fic/etc! Even if I really can’t stand the popular fanon ship I’m so glad it exists for folks who enjoy it and I am not going to spend my time posting about what I don’t like/agree with when they’re not hurting me and I can spend my time on stuff I do like!

And like. I know. I KNOW a lot of these people are teenagers. And I struggle sometimes because “do not fight literal children” is a rule I try to live by lmao but I also really don’t like seeing people target and mock folks for harmless fun. (It’s on sight if a 25+ year old starts putting this shit in the tags tho. I know they’re out there.)

Still, it’s extremely weird because they always defend themselves with “it’s just a joke/it’s not that deep” or “oh my god no one is stopping you from liking x why are you so pressed 🙄 i can’t believe you’re letting my nasty opinions bother you just because i put them right where you can see them with the intent of insulting you.” 💀💀💀 Like what could possibly be the point of doing this if not to, at the very least, actively try to dissuade people you don’t like from engaging with the community? Obviously no one can stop me but if I know that there are dickbags out there who are going to vaguepost and make fun of me when I do, I don’t care how confident and thick skinned you are (and I am very,) it’s still going to sting!

People are not bothered because they’re disconnected from reality and think they’re really married to a pixel man, they’re upset because life is hard enough and you come into your hobby space to have a good time and then find lame ass idiots infesting it. I also think the whole “ohhh my god why are you so upset he’s/she’s not real!!” is a blatant attempt to discredit the hurt parties by once again insinuating that they are “crazy” which once again conveniently ignores multiple realities, chiefly that 1) most people are not upset by a simple opinion that their fave wouldn’t fuck them IRL, they are upset at the blatant meanness of the person making the accusations and 2) even if they are genuinely hurt by the thought because it’s a coping mechanism for them, why does that make it okay for you target them? What gives you the right to harass and mock people who are not bothering you? Do these people think they’re doing these folks a ‘favor’ by forcing them to contend with what they perceive to be some kind of delusion? Shut the hell up. Why do people decide it is their god given right to hold strangers on the internet accountable for psychological “problems” that they’ve completely made up.

Anyway SORRY I have a serious problem shutting the fuck up lol. I have never been good at phrasing my thoughts in a coherent way especially when I’m grumpy. I am very glad my little circle is full of awesome, open minded and levelheaded folks and not gatekeepers/weirdos (derogatory) who have decided that diversity of opinion in fandom is bad actually and that women and femmes specifically are enemy number one.

[qelflinq]

Every porn take I see blow up on here says the exact same thing and it’s wild to see 20,000 people play absolutely stupid every single time lol. “2 people should be allowed to record themselves having good angel consensual sex and that’s why porn is good actually so stop saying it’s bad😇” Ok how come that’s your position that’s not even a very divisive thing to say. Come on now defend the porn made in a studio with a pornstar man and a pornstar woman whose Instagram comments are full of old men describing how they’d like to violate her (best case scenario). Like WHO is taking up an issue with the ethical shit when they talk about porn. That’s literally 2% of porn you assholes KNOW the other 98% (the pornhub most searched , the shit most curious 11 year olds will see first) is simulated rape/incest/pedophilia (oftentimes all 3). I’m not saying the straight guy favourites are all like this, but even the majority of “normal” porn reestablishes really fucked up ways to view women (as do things like weightwatchers and razor ads but that’s probably pushing it a bit too much on here). I guess part of the problem is that hardly anybody on this website can think or see beyond themselves and their own porn habits. Like sure maybe (maybe) Rocko| 23| he/they only gets off to AO3 fanfiction but the kink freedom warriors don’t love mentioning the swaths of men that go abt their day fantasizing about controlling or hurting women. Do they just not exist when we consider the effects porn has on us? Or are they not supposed to be a problem, and I’m just another grouch yucking somebody’s yum? The men that are our classmates and coworkers and family members etc etc the men we have to interact with daily. Like I’m sorry but not everyone lives in Tumblr world 100% of the time lol it doesn’t make us anti sex crones to think it’s weird that porn is so accessible and commercialized and STILL so influenced by misogyny (again I’m talking THE MAJORITY of it not the ethical shit everyone uses as an example when defending porn). I’m starting to get ads from onlyfans telling me to sign up 👍 telling me hey girl this is such a fun opportunity to make money. Is that not like, evil?? Is that not scary to anyone? Like now it’s the company itself explaining how good and empowering it is to have your income dictated by how jackoffable you are deemed by strangers forming fantasies surrounding your body? Whether my body is a particular fetish? Nobody online rly wants to talk about the other side of sex work. Abt how it’s so closely linked to addiction and poverty in real life. It’s not just silly cute cosplay photoshoots that stay within the greater queer community. And even when it is, if you come across any trans OF creators twitter, a great chunk of their comments are (often conservative) men who want to hurt/degrade them. It’s not a new or made up phenomenon. You can very much witness it for yourself. Most people DO witness it, I guess it’s just not really a priority so it’s better ignored? It’s useless trying to have a normal conversation about these things cause everybody reblogs the same posts to show they share the same opinions. When the internet is this fast ur priorities shift, I get it. It’s easier to form opinions based on others safe agreeable pre-written ones. So often I see or hear someone regurgitating some shit I KNOW they read on a Tumblr post or heard in a YouTube essay cause bro I saw it too. Sometimes it’s straight up word for word. Like what ! Does nobody read books anymore. Or go to work. Or go outside and talk to people. I know it’s hard to find time to think about things much when there r so many tiktoks to watch, posts to read, pictures to chuckle and so little free-time in your day to do all that. It’s crazy to me that if you’re not a woman on here , you’re probably not gonna think about how women are treated at all.