#literally everything i do now be it writing or drawing or physical art or whatever. it all feels wrong

[its-captain-sir]

.

[banj0possum]

Alistair x (platonically) Teen Reader

In the fic he is like oh my god a bride, he walks in and instead of an adult..or a bride-

They find a teen, who literally threw a pebble at him, an angsty teen💀

I’m very happy to read ur fics and usually pair them with teen/child mc because I find it funny because they expect the love of their life

and teen mc standing there :🧍‍♂️

anyways sorry for the long request, luv ur writing, and ur art :D

Yandere! Evil King x Teen! GN! Reader

CW: platonic relationship, Alistair is a bit of a DILF so do with it as you will, Dads are hot you guys!! READER IS A MINOR.

👑 Who is this sassy lost child?

👑 His minions kidnapped you while you were on a carriage ride back to your kingdom.

👑 He was hoping for like a princess or something to marry and take over the kingdom with or whatever so like...what tf he gonna do with you???

👑 Clearly you were too young to be in a situation like this, but theres no way he's giving you back without a reward, so yes he still holds you for ransom.

👑 "Child, I am Alistair, King of-ACk!"

👑 Did...did you throw a pillow at him?!

👑 "How dare yo- AHK! Stop it!" another one..

👑 You refuse to listen to anything he says, you just wanted to go home

👑 You two had a bit of rivalry for a bit. He hated you and you hated him.

👑 He promised not to show any affection or care towards you since in his eyes, your actions didn't deserve it. How can someone be so rude to a king !?

👑 But he starts to notice you don't eat much. He never sees you in the dining hall and has only seen quick moments of you nibbling on some bread or pastries the servants gave you.

👑 He scoffed, so irresponsible! You must eat a proper meal right this second or you'll starve!

👑 You're surprised to see a meal prepared for you during your routine trip to get a snack from the pantry with a note on the plate.

👑 "Next time, ask for a proper meal. I don't want your parents to think I've been starving you. -Alistair P.S. go to bed early."

👑 Huh...

👑 Alistair smiled from the doorway of the dining hall, watching you eat up with a smile on your face. You might have been too scared of him to ask for food so you've been sneaking snacks while he wasn't looking.

👑 Of course he wasn't doing it because he cared about you, he just didn't want royalty like you to resort to such pathetic means to eat!

👑 Why are you still sad? Perhaps he should get you some things to keep your attention..

👑 He asks (threateningly may I add) about your hobbies or interests.

👑 The next morning your cell (which has been upgraded to a lovely room in the castle because he didn't want you to be filthy and gross in a dungeon) was filled with anything he could find that he thought you'd enjoy.

👑 Don't think he wants you to be happy! He's just tired of seeing you sulk everywhere!

👑 He denies everything, but you swear you could see a tiny smile on his face when you hugged him happily.

👑 You start being a little more open to him, showing him anything you've made or done with pride and he'd receive it gratefully, but he won't show it of course.

👑 "I made you this friendship bracelet!"

👑 "I've seen better jewelry."

👑 "Oh I'll take it back then I guess.."

👑 "No, it's mine now, back off."

👑 Drawings and the like that he said would be thrown out as soon as you left would be seen framed in his room

👑 It would be a..waste of good canvas..

👑 And of course he buys a few books of your choice for you to read, he'd be damned if your brain turns to mush.

👑 Bro bro he'd be the type to let you swing around while holding onto his bicep.

👑 If you ever have any problems, or come to him in a bad mood, he'd have no idea how to help other than to sit down and listen to your troubles.

👑 He's not the most physical when it comes to affection, but you bet your ass he's gonna do everything he can to cheer you up.

👑 At this point he's rewriting his demands for the ransom. Either your kingdom lets him sign some adoption papers or he's starting a war.

[silksongeveryday]

Drawing Hornet everyday until Silksong comes out - Day 365!

1 year! One whole year of daily doodles!!

Honestly?? Idk how to feel, so much has happened since I first started this blog.

I guess I’ll just write what I’m thinking right now??

(Everything under the cut, this thing is longer than I expected)

A lot of this text probably isn’t going to make sense. I’m writing this at 1 am. If there’s any mistakes or errors that’s why. I’ll fix them in the morning maybe.

So like. This whole thing kinda started as a joke, I wasn’t intending to actually draw for a year straight lmao. Like I even used a completely different art style from my regular one that was simple, quick and intentionally dumb. Not that I’m upset by it, I’m actually quite proud of myself that I managed to stick to something for an entire year. That’s pretty unusual for me believe it or not. My original intention was to stop at maybe 20 days because I really wasn’t expecting for this blog to get as much love as it did.

So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so so much to everyone who has followed and supported this silly little idea I had, you guys are the biggest reason my experience has been so positive and worth it. (Sure it’s not original but I hope it’s at least been interesting!)

I’ve said this a few times now but I’ve mentioned wanting to take a break. I’ll admit that even though it’s been fun it’s still pretty tiring to keep up with this blog sometimes since some recent life events have made it so hard. After some thought, I’ve decided that I’ll likely take a break sometime in the coming months. Maybe toward day 400 or so. As of right now, things are at a lull so I’ve been okay enough mentally and physically to keep up this daily streak I think. Though this could change in an instant for whatever reason.

Overall I think my burnout has kind of gone away I think?? Or at least I’ve been reinvigorated recently after replaying a few runs of hk randomizer and steel soul. No promises it’ll stay away but I silly expect it to come in waves.

Ok but call me crazy or delusional or whatever, but my hopes are up that Silksong will release this year. (which means slowing down/not doing daily doodles yay) I genuinely believe big news is coming since I’ve been getting a lot of dreams lately about something happening with Silksong in March. Idk, I could be wrong but after doing this for a year I’m literally clinging onto anything right now lol

I’d obviously still make the occasional doodle or two when HKSS releases but not daily. This stuff is tough to keep up sometimes, I would never do daily posts like this again once it’s over

Oh yeah also I have an actual big drawing I’m still working on, expect that in sometime in the next few weeks I think!

Anyway, I can’t think of anything else to say right now so I guess that’s it for now!

Thanks so much and here’s to more doodles!

[thelunarsystemwrites]

Lunar's mental health. An update.

TW: bad mental health, EDs, depression, s/h, personal stuff, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, vent, self hate, heavy topics.

Sorry I haven't been posting!!

An update on me.

...Hi, you might know me as Lunar, or, TheLunarSystemWrites! I'm just an artist on here, trying to do things I like.... right?

Well, unfortunately, real life doesn't really... care. It doesn't care if I have friends to talk to, art to make, things I like to do.

I've been exhausted, physically and mentally. I've been busy working a lot in our home. (Painting, building, packing, inside work, cooking, etc) and it's always stressful... we're starting to get a little tight on money.

I've spent majority of my time in my bed. I don't wanna face my family members, so I've hidden away. It's hard to get up every day, and try to find the will to take care of myself.

I also recently relapsed with Bulimia, a disorder that, essentially means I throw up whatever I eat. I've been purging since September 16th, 2022. But I had awhile where I only purged once a day or none, but I'm back at it with full force. So my body doesn't have any energy left. I've also now lost my periods do to it.

I don't sleep well. It's much easier to stay up all night than waste my only free time sleeping. So I have no energy from sleeping well unless I sleep a whole day away, which makes me groggy.

Self harm is also something bothering me too, I'm too tired to do it and yet I keep doing it. Wasting precious spoons on it, I literally can't be clean for a whole year this year, that dream is dead. But, I am a few days clean as I type!

Suicidal and intrusive thoughts have been.... pesky. But I can't just leave my friends, plus I have prizes to make.

But, I'm unmotivated. I can't seem to write or draw anything. All my art is looking... regressed, to me. Everything is repetitive.

I've hated myself now more than ever in my life, I'm in a pretty bad place and I hate how self aware I am.

SPEAKING of regression! I have like, regression block. My brain isn't working with me, isn't regressing unless Involuntary. So my main coping mechanism is.... out of order.

I've been angry at the world, really pissy and moody. Tired, hungry, sad, then happy but not much. Numbness is a huge factor, I'm feeling depressed.

Not to mention, there's drama everywhere I look. This creator gets bullied, that one turns out to be disgusting. People get doxxed over opinions... it's constantly anxiety that I'll be wrongly accused, ridiculed, or abandoned. It's terrifying that people will go at each other's throats. It's exhausting to deal with it and be dragged into drama with problematic people.

Every day has been the same for me for the past 3 years. I'm tired, bored, understimulation controls me.

My friends are my lifeline right now.

I feel uncomfortable in my own body all the time, unsatisfied with my art, everything is essentially falling apart in my life.

Depression, anxiety... not a good mix to wake up disoriented and anxious, then gave zero spoons throughout the day. I'm not in a good home situation right now.

So... I kinda just... haven't been posting, role-playing, answering DMs, answering asks, etc...

I'm burnt out.

I feel like I'm a walking corpse.

Useless even.

I don't feel like myself anymore, I barely have the energy to talk to friends, every little bad things sets me back. I just can't bring myself to really engage much anymore.

So... sorry. I'm sorry, if I wasted your time. Or if this isn't like what you wanted to hear. I'm just not okay anymore, April was the last good month I had this year. APRIL.

I just wanted to update you all, there's a lot of other stuff I didn't share because it's nit important. I swear I'll get to the prizes eventually, I just ain't up to it right now. Might not be for awhile, apologies in advance!!

Hope you guys can understand, I might or might not be back to doing art, who knows. But I'll definitely get things done before that if I ever stopped. It just doesn't bring me joy, I used to hope I'd make an AU people cares about, and I've barely achieved that ^^"

Hope you're all well!! Stay safe, take care!! Remember to hydrate and to try eating if you can, you're spectacular!!!

Daily clicks!! ^^

Previous pinned post.

[creature-wizard]

Quick rundown on my actual positions re: the Law of Assumption & reality shifting right now:

I think the practices associated with the Law of Assumption can provide a very real psychological benefit, and I think many practitioners have successfully used it to overcome problems stemming from anxiety, poor self-image, etc.

I am broadly in favor of people using these practices, insofar as they don't exacerbate other mental issues and insecurities, or create other problems. (Needing other people to feel jealous of you to feel good about yourself is inherently unhealthy. Revision is just lying to yourself or others. Everyone Is You Pushed Out is both dehumanizing and victim-blaming.)

I don't think "reality shifting" actually moves people into parallel universes or whatever. I think the manifestation type version works the same way I think the Law of Assumption works. I think the "travel to my favorite fictional world and meet my blorbos" version essentially works by inducing a kind of deep, intense dream state.

I also think confirmation bias leads people to interpret random coincidences and things that probably would've happened anyway as cases of successful manifestation.

I think many cases of successful manifestation can also be explained by the frequency illusion in action. I think they technically count as successes from a psychological standpoint, since it would mean practitioners have successfully trained their brains to hone in on things they want.

I genuinely don't care if you believe that a metaphysical element might be involved. That's fine with me. I draw the line at telling people that they can absolutely, 100% manifest anything at all if they just Do It Right, and at telling people that they are 100% responsible for literally everything that happens to them. There is no context in which claims like these do not lead to psychological and physical harm.

Maybe there are individual cases where Law of Assumption practitioners experienced an extraordinary healing of some kind. I have my own reasons to think that in some rare instances, these things actually do happen. But I also know that there is no reason to think that LOA practices were specifically responsible for it, and I also know that statistically speaking, faith healing kills.

I think a lot of people in this community are lying, because that's just human nature/the nature of the Internet. There's always people who lie.

I also can't rule out psychosis for some people, either.

I have learned from researching and studying scams, cults, and hoaxes that when someone refuses to provide solid evidence to back up their extraordinary claims, it's because they're lying, and that those who play the victim or vilify people when asked for solid evidence want to take advantage of others in some way.

I have also learned that all scammers, cultists/cult leaders, and hoaxters will try to make you think they're the Very Special Exception to this rule. They are not. They never are.

I think the practice of Living In The End is a potential incentive to make false claims. If you're living as if it's already fulfilled, it would only make sense to write a "success story," right?

People who claim they changed the color of their eyes might also not be aware that your eye color can look different under different lighting.

Use the void state or don't, I don't care. I don't think it's harmful. I think it might be beneficial for some. I just don't think it's going to enable you manifest new parents overnight or resurrect the dead or whatever. Again, I think the LOA's benefits are primarily psychological.

I think Neville Goddard was a liar. His ideas didn't come from Kabbalah, they came from Phineas Quimby. They don't derive from Jewish mysticism; they're a close relative of Prosperity Gospel.

I think "Edward Art" is yet another content farm channel.

Spiritual abuse dolled up as self-empowerment is still spiritual abuse. "But we're helping people!" Cool motive, still abuse.

If you're more upset by people calling out the toxic bullshit going on in the Law of Assumption community than you are by the toxic bullshit going on in the Law of Assumption community, you need to fix your heart.

For anyone reading this: If you are leaving or questioning the Law of Assumption and need help, please see this post.

[bitchineering]

You don't know me... but let's work on that

Okay so like, I'm never active anymore. Really just gave up being active on tumblr because who the f is active here. Also I have a funny name now so it's fine- don't hate me for it.

Anyway, I thought, wow I really hate some stuff with teaching and no one having resources to free educational things so I thought to myself, why don't I just post items on here?!

Yea so that's what this is. You have classes you want to take, you don't have the ability to learn almost everything you ever wanted? Your teacher sucks ass? Well hopefully this helps makes everything better.

Mostly, all resources I know are about science and math (🫢wow surprised?!), and they can be tailored for whatever you need in long run. This became much longer than I thought it would be lol!

Topics Included:

Computer Science

Physics/Engineering

Math (HS Algebra and up)

Arts/Humanities

Computer Science

https://github.com/ossu/computer-science: this literally builds so much for coding and getting someone into programming. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it for some classes (I don't know how much it would help with AP Computer Science or Principles, but it has so much information, anyone really wanting to learn about code could get started with this.

https://www.freecodecamp.org/: another win website, I'd def say a little more chaotic (?). It depends how you want to learn you know. Love the web design bs, not really into it, but their tuts and videos were helpful enough for myself.

https://cs50.harvard.edu/x/2023/: Another beauty, these lectures really give so much for programming. Classes are held where you can even attend without being a harvard student. Lectures are intense imo, as it is a lot of content all in your face but just love the guy.

https://www.youtube.com/@alexlorenlee: Java. If you need any help in starting Java, I love these videos. He got me through a horrible class in my uni. Love him fr fr.

https://www.youtube.com/@crr0ww: Learning about any sorta malware, educational resources to get started with understanding your network, overall, just a really smart and funny guy. Love his videos. Really good at explaining basic contents.

https://www.youtube.com/@ColinGalen: Recommend his learning videos and how to think almost like a chess grandmaster. My own cs professor talks about drawing out code and being able to actually write what is going on in code.

Physics/Engineering/Sciences?

(sorry, I'm not mechanical engineer 🙈)

Electrical Engineering: Youtuber Michel Van Biezen is AMAZING. Also, dude as a sick ass drip and I love the bow tie. His circuits and physics lectures are so entertaining and helpful to understand. I really really really loved his videos as they helped me pull my grades up. His explanations are top tear, I really feel like he's so good at this.

GaTech Coursera Circuits: There are two of these classes here.

DC Circuit Analysis: First course. Helps you learn almost everything you should have learned in Physics Two and if not, don't worry they explain it somewhat well. Videos are condensed and good enough for someone to watch. Just know they don't do calculations on screen, and those can be pretty lengthy to solve.

AC Circuit Analysis: Same as above, they don't have as many items for this course, but def know it is a good course and necessary for understanding more modern circuit applications.

Every engineer wants to be him -> Michael Reeves , if you've never heard of him, please. This man will make you want to recreate his robots. He's a genius. He's everything every engineer wishes they could be.

NileRed : Do you want to be a fake chemist because Ochem made you want to die?? Well actually I just took chem 1 and changed my major, but NileRed it literally so fun. His chem videos are so fun and cool.

Thought Emporium -> mad biology scientists? Love this guy too! He's trying to be Spider-man and I love him for that. I hope he recreates those spiderwebs, I've been watching it for so long. Love this dude.

Robotics Engineering: Done by a youtuber who love for the anime reps!!! This guy focuses more on VR/AR, but loves carrying the same vibes as Michael Reeves, a Russian youtuber I know, and just overall very fun.

Mechatronics: Things to know for going into the field of Mechatronics (basically this is Robotics, just the more machine side). They recommend having that backbone in the core classes.

Learning for Engineering Students: Love that someone who was an actual engineer made some sort of engineering studying help. Would totally recommend watching, along with some other youtubers,

Tamer Shaheen (Mechanical Engineer) notes and exam recitation guides

British Engineer Loved her video, really similar to my own method of doing repeated practice problems.

My own study method!!! Create a google docs with Three columns:

Topic -> Usually this is how I'd organize the question. I did docs like these for each class, so I instead would put this as some topic within my class OR I would organize it by assignment it correlated to. I.E. alternating circuits or homework

Question -> really self explanatory, make sure to give details, dates, who you think you should ask, etc etc. There are no dumb questions, I'd really recommended these for computer science and would totally give my notes out for that shit.

Answers -> another self explanatory category, however, would recommend doing something a lil different with this box. Don't overwrite explanations. Also, don't take explanations. Write your own understanding of the solution, and a link/cite/provide some evidence for you or someone to turn back to.

Math

Organic Chemistry Tutor: Just, this man is everything. He has so many videos not only for chemistry but for other classes. I put him in math mostly because I used him for calculus I and II.

Khan Academy : Tbh, I loved their calculus course material. I'm not the biggest fan of them overall with some other provided materials (Like their SAT prep, really is only effective for helping students take it online and grading fast, but I'm pretty sure I have another post explaining how I found online materials for that bs and got a passing grade).

3 Blue 1 Brown (Math/ Calculus) : I feel like everyone knows him, he's so good at visualizing concepts. Great but still very complex videos, please understand that before going in. You might not be able to understand everything on first try, but always draw them out.

Studying Pure Math : Once you finished calculus and would enjoy some rigorous applications/learn about higher levels of math, this youtuber has linked a multitude of resources for those mathematical desires lol.

Small ideas of what is mathematics but this is such a beautiful video in explaining how mathematics is built up from each other. I think it changes your idea of how to study math (however, he does say you shouldn't memorize this stuff, but in the next bullet point, I wanted to show how I studied for math which did involve memorizing methods).

Studying thing I learned from youtuber but had sorta done myself, just think showing off this youtuber who's in oxford is fun!!!!

(Okay so I didn't find it, but the youtuber I thought who said the idea was Lucy Wang, still linking channel for the woman in math!!!).

So, in class you should be writing down examples, writing questions to the side, and looking for a pattern. When you find this pattern, you can organize your notes and your test answers. So like when doing an optimization problem in calculus, you have to draw the system, set up equations, ask what are you solving for, and the show the methods you used to solve. I would also recommend this for any numerical questions (for me, this included circuits, physics, and other math classes I've taken for a long time).

Professor Leonard: This man saved my calculus III grade. I love him. Please, he has almost all calculus classes, I don't think he has finished Differential equations and possibly one of his algebra courses, but his information is just great. His method of teaching is also phenomenal. And in the last video of his multivariable calculus playlist, he had the best quote ever. His wife and him were expecting a child, and he stated (this is horribly paraphrased but this was all I was thinking during my own calc III final):

"I'm pregnant- wait no- my wife's pregnant... But damn, I bet you I'd look good pregnant."

Arts/Literature/Humanities

https://www.youtube.com/@Chommang: Beautiful art, really enjoyed drawing alongside. Implores you to find your own style, but helps with anatomy, reference drawing, I literally knew nothing about this bs. But I really enjoy the videos.

Puppet History : Okay. So I know what you'll say if you saw these videos. But really, just if you want to start with history, it's such a good introduction, such a fun cast, and the lore is also something that I really think makes characters funny, long lasting, god. It's just so good and well written for some youtube puppet fever dream.

Reading Analysis: Literally just came up on my rec on youtube. Really nice in explaining the actual analysis of the text.

Japanese: I used it for practicing listening to Japanese, mostly just me trying to recognized sounds and words. I'm still a beginner in Japanese, cannot actually hold conversations, but this has helped me listen to others better.

Geography Now!: Learning anything about countries/ needing to learn about countries relationships, just enjoy knowing much trivia. I'd recommend this for those items. Also like, learning about other countries are so much fun! I would def say, there are countries he doesn't examine as in depth, ie, India. But if you're just getting into geography boom, here you go.

Some other recommendations for history, look up on coursera, edx, I mostly learn alot of these topics on youtube with video essays. Ngl, your own political beliefs will heavily affect how you learn these topics. There's no way around this. I hope for the sake of whomever, just please, learn both sides actual arguments. And if debates ever turn to arguments/yelling matches, leave. You need to have a strong sense of self- and in the end, if the other person doesn't understand or want to, there's nothing you can do about it. You can keep thinking your own beliefs, or feel inclined to research the topic later. If anyone gives you shit for believe in something that turns out to be factually incorrect, accept how you were wrong, why you were wrong, and understand that being wrong is a path of knowledge. If someone else believes you are wrong, however, they can't factual cite this, that is just a disagreement over some topic.

A thing I've said to others, is that everyone interprets the bible differently. You interpret His messages in a way I can never understand. And I the same. Since I cannot tell you how to interpret the bible, you cannot tell me. Something I truly believe is everyone has their own connection with God (not saved to Christianity, I know this is from an idiot in the bible belt in the USA but we'll deal with that later), and that connection guides them through life.

So for building this mindset, some books/videos I'd recommend:

*Please know, these books may contain triggering/unpleasant topics that readers should look into before selecting a book to read.*

The Myth Of Sisyphus, Albert Camus

Everyone's favorite psychopath, No Longer Human Osamu Dazai

Capitalism Realism Mark Fisher

Ecrits Jacques Lacan

Make It Stick Science of Successful Learning

Absurdism: A video similar to topic above, less academia-y language.

Classics Worth Reading: love love love Emmie! Her videos are pretty fun and I really enjoyed her classics recommendation.

Small amount of topics to go look up, search what you love, stay away from what you don't like. In the end, help yourself become a well rounded person by building up those ideas.

If yall wanna add more, please please please! Education is something I'll never get enough of. I believe it should be free, nonpolitical, and inspiring for all. Everyone deserves education because it makes us smart, capable, and healthy individuals. It builds our future. Good luck in your educational future. Hopefully I have spur of the moment to post my small study ideas, or resources for studying, so that others can focus being more time efficient. Just remember, control f (windows <3) or command f (mac users) to find whatever you need.

[i-live-in-your-vents]

May I request Texas art and maybe hc’s? 👁️👁️

*not forcing <3*

Why of course my good sir!

Here he is! Here’s the guy! I didn’t really feel like doing full body so I didn’t lol. And I tooootally didn’t look up how to draw a cowboy hat because I had no idea how to… nooo, never… (I’ve never drawn him before, so his appearance may change a bit in the future)

Onto the hc’s, I do have a few for our cowboy here!

— He definitely has a blanket that’s also his state flag (I’m not sure if this is cannon, but I’ve seen it in so many fics it might as well be lol)

— He has a gun collection, as well as a few other states, and they like showing off their gun collections to each other.

— His rivalry with Oklahoma is more of a petty rivalry that turned into just a habit than an actual hate/dislike (not to say they don’t dislike each other, it’s just nowhere near what his and Cal’s rivalry is)

— He likes birds. I have no idea where this came from, but it’s not leaving. My man likes his birds

— He’ll say his favorite color is something “manly” like red or something, but it’s not. He likes sky-blue, lavender, and pink (he’d drown himself in toilet water before ever admitting it though)

— He has asthma. I came up with this as I was thinking about my hc’s for him literally like 3 minutes ago. My brain was just like “this guy cannot breathe well” and you know what? Sure. He cannot breathe well. (There has definitely been a time when he was in a heated argument with someone at the table but then just doubled over and started wheezing/gasping for air (asthma attack) and was like “Hold on— *Wheeze* gimme a second. *Wheeze* Someone plea— *Wheeze* —se get me my— *Wheezing continues* damn inhaler!!”)

— So it’s cannon that Texas is a system, but I’m pretty sure we’ve only seen him and Austin. My Texas’s system is comprised of Texas, Austin, Huston, San Antonio, and maybe Dallas (haven’t decided yet)

— Shatter glass near him (especially by dropping it) and he will have a panic attack. I mean like, full on sobbing “Nononono please I’m sorry whatever I did I’m sorry please don’t” as he backs up as much as he can and then just sinks to the ground waiting to get hit (fuck you Mexico)

— Speaking (typing? Writing?) of Mexico, he was very abusive. Texas has so many scars (emotional and physical) that came from him. Sometimes Tex still finds himself thinking it was all his fault (as per Mexico would always tell him)

— He has nightmares, frequently. He usually just ends up staring at the ceiling or crying himself back to sleep after a nightmare.

— He was close with California before. They had a big (huge) fight and they haven’t been the same ever since. He wishes he could take back all he said, go back and fix everything, apologize, be close to him again, but he can’t. (He can, he’s debated going over and apologizing for everything many times, he always backs down because “there’s no way he’d forgive me, he’d laugh in my face and slam the door.” (He would not. Cal also wishes he could take back all he said and apologize and fix everything, but they’re both stupid and think the other will be mad at them))

Hmmm, I think this is all for now! I love traumatizing my blorbos, don’t you?

[weenwrites]

hello!! is it okay if i ask for a romantic matchup from transformers prime? im a big fan of ur blog!! C:

so a bit about me, im a she/her and an INFP-t like literally everyone else on the internet but thats ok. im optimistic and sensitive and i always try my best to be kind, polite and friendly to everyone. im a bit moody and sometimes shy but nowadays i try to do whatever i want regardless of what people might think of me. im creative and curious and i like having fun!!! my friends often describe me as weird but in a good kind of way, as if im some strange whimsical creature 👽 im super artsy and express my weird style proudly, both in the way i dress and how i present myself. i know u said physical appearance doesn't matter but ive had a buzz cut for around half a year now and it kinda became a part of my personality lol

hobbieees. oh i have many :D overall i enjoy anything creative that requires using my hands, but i mostly spend my days drawing, playing instruments, sewing or studying. i also really like the outdoors and often explore new local and even far away places just for the fun of it. i constantly try and experiment with new things and activities. because it's just fun

i love nature, art, animals, bugs. oh im a huge bug lover. the weirder the bug the better. i like learning new things, i like space, horror movies, sweets, music, fruit, flowers, funky earrings. i like a lot of things. on the other hand there's not much things i dislike, except for the usual like.... idk bad people? violence? drama? but yeah everyone dislikes that. however specific things that i don't like include getting yelled at, being babied/underestimated and ppl who are way too pessimistic.... i don't dislike the people, just the view. it can be so exhausting to deal with🙁🙁

i express my love mostly through words and actions! i like making my friends feel good by complimenting them or giving them gifts like small trinkets and stuff😈 but sometimes i put a bit more thought into my gifts and craft small cards, drawings, bracelets or plushies for them

i like everyone but im not sure how to describe my type. aside from the usual criteria like being kind and caring towards me there's not much that i am looking for specifically. i don't need someone eccentric such as myself i just want someone who likes my weirdness and who looks at me like 😍😍 oh yeahhhh THAT'S my little gremlin

OK SORRY THIS IS SO LONG describing oneself for a matchup feels like opening up to a therapist. anyway thankyou so much for reading this all ily 🙏💞💞 here's a flower for u!!! 🌻

✎ A/N: Aa! Thank you!! I don't mind that it was long, if anything it helped me write some more stuff! Also your forgot to include your sexuality, but I hope you enjoy the match up! The rest is under the cut since it's pretty long ˆˆ

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

Smokescreen

He's rather enthusiastic to have a partner he cares for so much, but if you've told him or if he's noticed that you'd prefer for him to turn down the hype a little, he'll definitely try to be a little more "chill" about it. He's rather inexperienced, but he's always eager to do his best in any situation, and when it comes to you he tries to bring his A-game and do his best to make you feel happy and loved.

He would absolutely love to learn about new things with you! Despite how he may seem, he's actually pretty knowledgable (when it comes to cybertronian artifacts and history, of course) and a fast learner. That isn't to mention that as a new-comer to Earth, he intends to learn as much as he can about the planet, not only because he thinks it'd be good to better understand the species he's trying to protect, but also out of genuine interest himself.

So if there are any interesting facts about the planet that you'd like to share with him, or books you'd be willing to lend him, you'll be his go-to source for everything there is to know about earth and humans. (A brief callback to one of my other things, this of course means that he'll be calling you whenever he has a question about something, but the more he does it, the more it seems like he isn't actually curious about what he's calling to ask you about, but rather he's instead doing it to hide the fact he really just wants to talk to you.)

And of course in exchange for everything you tell him about Earth, he's going to return the favor (as long as you ask him something he actually knows about)... But with your interest in space, he'd be able to tell you a lot of things about the stars and cosmos, all of which he learned about in the academy and from Alpha Trion while he was a guard at Iacon. Or he could tell you about cybertronian history, or cybertronian customs that he thinks you'd find interesting or funny.

But aside from that, he'd strive to impress you in whatever way possible, but unfortunately that's a bit... Difficult for him, since the first things that come to mind include feats of strength and shows of his fighting capabilities, but due to your dislike of violence, he decides to opt for other means instead. He quite literally searches up "ways to impress your crush" online and tries out the ones he thinks you'd like the most, like showing off his smarts, or showing that he's really interested in whatever's on your mind.

He's also the type of S/O who'd definitely try out stuff that their partner's into, so he's willing to try out a whole bunch of your hobbies if it means the two of you get to hang out together. I'd like to imagine he's particularly fond of listening to you play music, and perhaps he even hums along when he grows more familiar with the tune.

He'd definitely try to help you come out of your shell and he actively encourages you to live life whatever way makes you happy and live life with no regrets. He's also pretty quick to recognize most of his mistakes and make up for them accordingly. He also always emphasizes that he promises to learn from them (and he does for your sake).

Breakdown

He's actually pretty chill and easy-going as a partner. He doesn't usually do any showy romantic expressions of love (unless you like them), but that doesn't mean he takes the relationship lightly. He particularly enjoys just spending as much time with you as he can in your day-to-day lives. You don't have to do anything special like go on dates, he's just perfectly content hanging out with you and doing whatever you can together.

And contrary to how he looks as a "big brutish tough guy", he's actually very gentle and chill when it comes to you. He enjoys joking around and maybe the two of you even have a few inside jokes that you laugh about from time to time.

He's pretty fond of the great outdoors too! And though patrolling may still be tedious work, the scenery makes it all the more worthwhile. Not to mention that it isn't as boring whenever you offer to tag along for the ride. There are other times where the two of you go on foot, and he'll let you sit up on his shoulders to let you get a good view of the area. Or if there are any neat trees you'd want a closer look at, he'll make sure to lift you up there carefully and let you pick a leaf or a flower out of them.

Whenever the two of you patrol sparsely populated areas with lots of wildlife, he'll occasionally point out animals here and there, and he'll sorta make a game out it.

"Oh hey look! Dog! One point."

"That's not a dog..."

"What do you mean it's not—oh, wait, it's a horse, right? The horns make it a horse."

"Horns on a horse would make it a unicorn. That was a moose."

"That's what a moose looks like?"

"Yeah??? What did you think a moose looked like?????"

Of course he isn't any good at naming the animals he sees, but he thinks that it's neat that you get to tell him what those animals are, or what that plant is, or what that other neat thing is that he saw on the road.

And I feel like he isn't that squeamish or disgusted by bugs, and I think he'd find beetles or any kind of resilient or strong bug super cool despite their miniature stature.

Animals aside, Knockout once recommended that Breakdown should take you out to the theater, saying that it was a romantic thing that humans do. So you can expect drive-in theater movie nights to be a frequent thing from time to time. He'll let you sit in his cab and he parks somewhere with a good view of the screen. He claims that he doesn't find horror movies all that scary, and actually nitpicks at the actual details themselves, but from time to time you'll notice the subtle way his frame begin to shake and his tires twist during some particularly scary scenes... Tease him about it if you will, but not once will he ever admit to being afraid.

And also if you're ever interested in learning self-defense, he definitely would step up and offer to teach you how to punch people in the face. "You never know when it'll come in handy" is what he says to justify it.

He's not usually someone who gets hyped over gifts. That doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't like them, it's just that he's never received many gifts before, so he doesn't truly understand the hype around them. But once you come around and give him gifts, he gets around to understanding the appeal. He gets happy and a little excited whenever you bring him something, and he also tries to get you gifts to return the favor! But given his situation as a giant robot, he can't exactly do that for you, but what the two of you could do is check out old junkyards to see if there's anything neat to take.

[xx-vergil-xx]

@moorishflower thanks for tagging me!!  now that I’m sat down to write ch 24 I'm in the ideal headspace to consider this delightful query

rules: List five things you never get tired of writing. It can be tropes, themes, characters, phrases, whatever brings you joy. Then tag five people!

~~ body horror ~~

I just.  love to get gross.  love to get carnal.  love blood and guts and visceral inarguable things.  physicality is so.  it’s so down in the mud it’s so teeth and gums it’s so burning and bleeding and I just.  I want to write that.  things that cut physical and emotional at once.  icky.  I just wanna be a little icky.  also.  using body horror metaphors for emotional states.  fuck yes.  gross.  ouchy.

~~ senses n shit ~~

if this was not blindingly apparent let me emphasize it once more –– this is my Jam.  I am a big Senses person.  everything is colors and textures.  like, hozier’s “wasteland, baby!” is an extremely specific palette in my head, and when I listen to the song it like.  elicits a physical sensory texture response like it feels like really nice weighted chiffon, sort of heavy and flowing and light all at once.  I have most of my memories in colors and lighting (I have this absurdly vivid snapshot of the dark blue-purple and gold like streetlamp at night and the way it fell on someone’s face who I was in love with at the time and just like even now even now it has not left me) so as a writer it is an indulgence to simply project this sensory lifestyle onto things.  I also really believe that the best way to craft emotion is via choices of how you describe sensation as it’s experienced –– been writing a lotta sappy shit lately but love has its own textures its own bevy of reference points in sound and light and color –– florals and lavenders and cotton-y things –– and the way sensation is portrayed can tell a whole lot about a character’s emotional state imo

~~ not saying you love someone ~~

give me “are you alright?”.  give me “I thought you’d like this.”  give me “I’ll wait for you, I’m waiting now.”  give me “get home safe.”  give me “don’t leave.”  yeah.  yeah yeah.  I believe firmly in talking around things, in the ways we tell each other we love each other without ever saying the words.  yeah. 

~~ noses ~~

this is also an art thing as well as writing.  I dunno what wacked out little neuron miswiring in me has caused this but like.  I love drawing and also throwing in brief written nods to noses.  underrated facial feature.  fascinating shapes lots of lines.  I can’t explain this one much beyond vague handwaving and rambling about geometry and architecture but yeah.

~~ the limits of language ~~

this goes hand in hand with my love of translation.  because like.  we are so limited.  we are so bound by our range of vocabulary.  there are some experiences you can’t convey in language, in any way that another person might know and understand.  I'm in this course on visionary medieval women and so much of it is about the struggle of conveying a divine vision as both a metaphorical and allegorical and very literal experience and like.  I think about this so much.  how do we say what we are?  what we see?  how do we know we are understood?  how can you take the horrible and the brutal and the real raw lived thing of you and contain it in words?  how do we get through that?  I dunno communication and its limits, man.

anyway!!  apologies if you’ve already been tagged and ofc no obligation (and art friends this is for art too!!), but @aberfaeth @thunderburning @averythepirate @thescreechowl @panziku-nox

[bookwyrminspiration]

Hey Quil!

There's literally so much to say here my dude. Like-I just physically cannot put into words as to how much I love what you do for this fandom.

I have never in my life, met such an incredibly talented creator like you. /gen

The way that you can put words down on a page is so elegant, it's a talent that is just simply unfathomable to me. You just kind of suck me in with your writing--I have to clear a time to read the next chapter of the wings au because of how deeply you're able to weave your words to pull me into the narrative.

The world that you've built in your head, and the ideas that you churn out onto the page are so very incredible. And that's not just about writing either.

Seriously!! When I found out you could draw my reaction was pretty much. Well I guess it's over now, Quil's over here, hoarding all of the talent and stylistic choices of writing and art. /lh

I remember vividly when I first saw the wings AU. I was actually on my phone, at school, in the hallway (no shame apparently) and I saw Shattered Upside Down on the list of things. And I read the description and I sat there for a minute and I went.

Huh. That seems kind of weird. And I clicked off of it.

Can I just say!!! How funny that is!! Like I think I've been this invested in two fics ever, and my first reaction to seeing this was "eh I'll pass" ?!?!?!

Past Tobi this is literally right up your ally. It is dystopianizing + dragonifying your kotlc. Why the fuck would you want to pass on it????

Anyway, it was only three days later that I came around and gave it a shot (after seeing the one chapter and the word count.) And let me tell you. I knew I was hooked.

I knew it.

I remember so well sitting in the dark, on vacation, excitedly stimming on my bed after the fourth chapter came out. I had the Wiggles from a story!!! This had never happened before. I'd gotten squirmy yes, but I had to stand up!!! Because whew this story was really fucking good!!!!!

And Quil. Quil I cannot tell you how much the wings AU means to me. Like as a story but as an idea as a whole. And ik we're getting to the ah ha moment, and I know this means that it's ending, and while I'm so sad to see it go I'm also really excited to see how you write a conclusion to this.

Anyway if you want to see my shitty doodles of the wings AU from like...omg over a year now. (Quil it's been over a year since I drew those) just let me know.

Anyway, enough talking about my lord and savior (Shattered Upside Down) /hj

Thank you so very much for inspiring and writing every day. You're honestly such a cool human being, and it's been so fun getting to see you create on here <33

Oh my gosh this is so incredibly kind of you I'm at a loss of where to start to try and articulate back how much this means to me and how much I appreciate it.

Hearing that my words just kinda suck you in because of how I weave my stories makes me laugh a little because it feels wildly out of proportion with my writing approach. I think I've said this before, but I basically don't edit like at all. Everything you read is what I first wrote; it is the first draft. So you saying is both greatly appreciated and also amusing because I'm just winging it

And thank you for the compliments on my drawing, as well! You're not the first person to say that (discovering I could draw later on), which is wild because there was a time in the fandom where I was foremost considered a fanartist compared to...whatever I am now.

I love that you clicked off the wings au because if I am being 100% honest...I probably would do the exact same thing. I think if I saw the wings au out in the wild, I wouldn't read it. I'd go "huh, I don't really like aus, and this is too long" and just move on. Because it's true! I don't really like aus (they're great! just not for me most of the time) or long fics, so if it wasn't my story I'd absolutely skip right past it without a second thought.

I'm incredibly flattered to hear you were hooked, like that is such an amazing thing to hear as a writer than someone is that invested in your story--and giving you the wiggles!! You are giving me the wiggles right now as I'm reading through this just in awe. I'm thrilled you think the story is good because it's truly expanded beyond what I ever thought it would be, which is terrifying, but also so excited to watch (I say as if I'm not writing it). And I can't believe you were reading it on vacation like please enjoy your vacation the wings au can wait

Tobi. I cannot explain to you how much it means to me that the wings au means something to you. I started this story purely self-indulgently after I started mindlessly associating characters with wings, making the joke "well no fandom is complete without a wings au" to cover up how invested I was getting in such a "silly" concept. Like really? A wings au? Could it get any more basic?

And while the story is starting to come to a close (there's a lot left to write but like timeline wise...we're getting there), I really hope that I can live up to the rest of the au and the expectations. I've known what I wanted the final message, the final hurrah to be since I started; it's all been working towards that, but I don't know exactly how we'll get there or what shape it will take.

I'm both terrified and ecstatic to see what the wings au will become and I just hope I can do it justice.

Also I would absolutely love to see any doodles you're comfortable sharing. Seeing art of the wings au always makes my day and I'm incredibly honored that my story inspired you to create something.

Thank you so much for everything you've said, I don't know how to explain my appreciation for this. I hope to continue creating things and sharing them and having fun with everyone here for as long as possible, so thank you for being so receptive and encouraging about it all, this seriously made my day <33

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

some grand self mythology

when I look back over my life

I realize how little true peace and safety

I have actually been able to feel around people

in whatever home I ended up in

it never felt like I grew up in a home

it felt like I just kind of showed up

never really belonged but had to work there

deny the reality of my experience and the characters in it

keep all the secrets even if they hurt me

I always seemed to do a lot of more things than everyone else

but when I succeeded they were upset and mean

and when I brought it up I was always wrong

I never felt the right way

I didn't even think the right way

and it's a cycling pattern I have just been swimming through

suspended in time and raw perceptions of a reality

I never get to acknowledge and everyone denies

no wonder I confused role playing with self-preservation

no wonder it took performance art to understand myself

I built my identity around the idea I am called by duty

to be kind and fair and level-headed and generous

mostly because I never had an example of that growing up

my mother couldn't contain her rage and beat it into me

my father couldn't contain his own emotions let alone mine

let's just say co-regulation or really any sort of regulation

wasn't much of a theme with the generations who raised us

I become who I am because of what I didn't want to be

when things start to become challenging I begin to

edit and rearrange all the elements I'm working with

the problem with that is that I forget the whole story

or the part I'm working on or the plot and setting

and I'm distracted by the connections I make in my own mind

learning how to drop my awareness into my body has helped

it used to be unsafe to live in my body because I'd have

all these emotions and be forced not to express them

completely on fire and punished if I showed it

my youngest used to say over and over and over

"daddy, don't hurt mommy. mommy, don't be mad."

you don't get to be mad when I hurt you

you don't get to raise your voice when I refuse to hear you

you don't get to be a priority or upset about not being one

in a relationship that it purely exists for partnership

I never fucking had a partner I always had another child

while raising children under a system of perfectionism

under men who said they loved me and then became their fathers

refused to see the dysfunction in their modeling

and I was the one who crawled bleeding out of the ruin every time

less than what I was when I began but determined to be more

yesterday I promised myself an entire day of self care

and I observed how often my mind tried to tell me

that I should be doing something productive for the family unit

the house was empty and it never is

and I never want it to be all the time

but the silence was literally euphoric

I knew there was not one soul who would need me

that I could let myself nap or draw and spend time in my journals

to listen to music and daydream about things that made me smile

every time I found myself feeling anxious for being so "selfish"

I would place my hand on my belly and breathe

remind my heart that everything was safe and I got to exist

just exactly how I was and there was no sin for it

and I had to do this multiple times to keep the flow

it reminds me just how much pressure had been put upon me

how deep the self-doubt was forced into my very skin

by the words of people who benefit from me

being fully detached from myself or sense of it

as I write this I feel my heart light completely on fire

bursting into a righteous flame that wants to destroy

the source of such filthy injustice and cruelty

I place my palm over it and breathe until it turns back to green

I'm now realizing just how many counterweights have been attached

to all of these emotions so that I've been forced to face them

I've been forced to doubt my own emotional good-nature

and then projected upon the coercive behavior patterns of others

all the while trying to meet all the needs of the household

physically and emotionally stimulated in negative ways

while my intellect was chronically devalued and dismissed

what an absolute shit of a situation

thank fuck the chapter is closing just like the lion's portal

does that mean I'm finally going to be stepping out of the cave?

I guess only I can be answer to that question

and I'll answer it with dynamite, a match, and a half sort of smile

and I am not singing a song you're gonna like at all

it makes him so angry when I laugh in his face at his delusions

oh, is this how it used to feel? the energy transfer?

you used to feed by punching me in the scars you told me

I needed to heal while denying your own past and reality

I hope everything I do in this next battle

feels like getting emotionally punched in the balls over and over

I absorbed all your tricks just so I can use them against you

I just enchanted them a bit so I can look good doing it

you did some bad things, baby, but I'm the worst of them

and I'll bet every time you say my name

and as the mother of your child you're gonna have to

when your mouth says my name it will create a storm

like the one you finally inspired inside me to rip off the hinges

of every damn door you tried to lock me behind with your arrogance

too bad you can't force someone to lose their intelligence

you can just create a toxic fog that keeps them in oblivion

but one of us isn't oblivious anymore and it happens to be

the one who spent her whole life in hell and the forest

and neither one particularly cares if you survive

and they always have someone to take care of the corpses

so let's get real about something, okay?

when I devoted myself and my little dragonlings

to your life and your name and your legacy

I enlisted and gave myself willingly and completely

that's how I do love and marriage and relationships

if my children are involved the stakes are highest

you can fuck with me but say your prayers if you fuck with my kids

and you always made sure to let me know much of a burden

having to do things or take care of them financially was to you

please understand this divorce will be

where you and my documented experience with you

is going to be judged and seen fully by the court

according to the laws of this fine country

and a professional advocate that is only in my corner

and not at all thinking about your opinions

or what you think is fair and your emotional immaturity shows

when you say I have to take my ex to court too

because I never made him pay child support

honey, your mother's enmeshment wound is showing

I don't have to do shit according to anything you want

especially when it comes to my agreements and relationships

I just want I deserve according to how you treated me

and I put it fully into the capable hands of the law

you're losing control of the narrative that you so clumsily

crafted in the thoughtless way you kind of do everything

you're starting to feel the fear, aren't you?

that's why you're sending me paragraphs of offers

also all my rabbits are fucking dead

so trying to send me videos of a rabbit doesn't help you

sometimes I think I'm most mad because now that I see you

really fucking look at you without the gleam of lost potential

I realize how twisted it is the way you use your intelligence

you are your grandfather's son

I am my granddaughter's daughter

your family raised poodles and mine raised dobermans

the winner of that area is pretty easy to predict

to think you can use the same shit you tore holes in me with

and somehow walk away unscathed after using

my dignity as something to walk all over with muddy shoes

and never once thinking to clean up after yourself

maybe your mother can actually teach you life skills

she seemed to have forgotten to while she was catering

constantly to your critical deaf dad who didn't learn

sign language so he didn't have to see what his neglect did

at least she could lash out at me like I was the problem

it's okay because being a scapegoat to a dysfunctional family

is exactly how I was brought up to be treated

I didn't know how to surround myself with people

who encourage me and show me an honest but positive mirror

but I'm learning how to do that now

I will not regress or pull up my drawbridge

when I feel like clawing my skin off and shutting everything down

I will commit more to my personal power

I will release my shame and release my fear daily

I took on a helluva lot from you

and now you can fucking have it back

I now have as much concern for your reputation

and the exposure of your flaws and faults

as you seemed to have for mine last summer

when you triangulated everyone you knew against me

just so you could feel like you were justified in your actions

the betrayal doesn't hurt anymore but it used to

after a couple days of solitude I am very aware of what I'm losing

and the liberty feels like the sky is brand fucking new

one of us is a very unreliable narrator

one of us is insulted when our behaviors are described objectively

one of us wouldn't know the definition of responsibility

if it didn't mean just having to get dressed and walk into an office

the queen can move everywhere on the board

you tend to move more like a pawn

so uncalculated and never thinking about your opponent

or the future and how it will all end up playing out

in fact, you only listened to me for something to use

to try and undermine me later with

and I fell for it because I trusted you

then I wanted to trust you to keep my kid in my life full time

and now I want this all to be over so I only have to deal with you

in texts that I get to decide when to answer to

which will be a real problem for you because incompetent urgency

seems to be your favorite language

when really it's a symptom of all things you're going to learn

and it's going to be very very painful for you

and it's nice knowing I don't have to be there for you

I blew up that ship like Iris in the Aenaeid

you still think of our relationship and the space we shared

as a place where you got to grow and be seen

I think of the space we share like a pool of acid

that I could only escape by singing in the shower

all diamonds are made with impossible pressure

and I'm glad I used it to hone some talents

you killed the woman you married and I burned her body

you look me in my eyes and see a person who no longer exists

that's really going to bite you in the ass

and while you're running around squealing

please pause just long enough to see me

press my fingertips to my lips and and then wave goodbye

as everything around us explodes

I'm not worried because I'm fireproof

and you made sure I have nothing to lose

[sweettoothedtrickster13]

ok, so I made a post about how my forgetful ass literally forgot I started a grimoire. Like, I remembered my little notebook I use to figure out sigils in (barely), but my grimoire? Totally forgotten. I figure if I make a bigger post about it, maybe that will make my hellbrain remember a tiny bit more. Plus, I don't have anyone IRL to really talk to in-depth about this.

For starters, I'm somewhat hesitant to call myself in any degree magical, but instances throughout my life have lead others to believe there's something about me. Call it more in tune with my surroundings or the universe or whatever, but sometimes I have a pretty uncanny knack for guessing things (my family tends to call it The Shine, like Stephen King).

I'm also fairly new to writing anything serious down. I played around with making sigils but not charging them, and have a pinterest board dedicated to interesting ideas, but other than that I never wrote anything down. But I figure it's high time I put some actual thought into it.

I (respectfully!) played around with offering to deities, but felt it wasn't right for me. I still consider myself Catholic. I might play around (again- RESPECTFULLY. PLEASE DON'T SMITE ME) in the future, but for now it isn't for me. So you can be witchy without being pagan or Wiccan.

I also don't use crystals. It's just not something I was ever into, so I don't feel the need to shell out money for stuff I won't use. Again, not everything is for everyone.

I do use candles and herbs. Candles because I like them, and herbs because I figure having something more concrete to focus intent and energy is a good thing.

My grimoire is a simple two-subject notebook. I have, well, two sections- working and reference. My 'working' section comes first, and in it is everything I use personally- my own experiences, my own rituals, etc. The reference section is things I figure I should remember- candle color correspondences, moon phases and meanings, waters to make and their uses, etc. I haven't used the moon yet, but it's enticing to have a monthly ritual.

My grimoire is very lightly used right now, but I have plans for ways to fill it up. I'll share some ideas with you because I don't believe in gate keeping.

Freewriting, but cover the entire page in black ink. Or maybe use different colors? - This is an idea I had a while ago, but still like. I tend to freewrite on the computer when I need to work something out in my fiction writing, but I feel like meditation writing would also be fun.

use a burnt matchstick as a pencil- I like fire (not in a 'I light fires on purpose to destroy' way, I just like candles and things), and the idea of this was just cool to me.

various candles I make- I have a lot of tea lights, and I have plans to make different ones for different uses. One for protection, one for abundance, one for banishing, etc. I have mostly white, but I have some colored ones floating around somewhere.

maps of neighborhood and local places that have interesting energies to them- I want to draw more in my grimoire. Right now it's all writing, and it's a tiny bit boring. So personalizing it with not only my art but art of specific locations close by seems cool.

spell jars I make and how they turned out- I want to make spell jars really badly, and I figure having a record of them as far as what went in them and how it turned out is just a good practice. If it works, you want to remember that. If it didn't work, you also want to remember what you did to not do it in the future.

Oils and sprays- I don't use much yet, but having some record of what I used in which one (much like the spell jar above) seems like a good practice

candle divination- again, I like fire so trying this out seems fun.

name the grimoire- I feel like having a secret name for the grimoire will make it stand out more in my brain, plus it feels like a good way to bond with it.

draw an altar- this would be a substitute for having a physical altar. I just straight up won't remember to set one up in time for holidays, plus if I have a drawn altar it's easily hidden. Plus, I'd be able to have anything I want on it and not be bound by money or space.

house blessing- I hear that talking to your house is a good way to have it protect you from more than the elements, and again giving something a private name will bond you with it.

Have some more ideas, because why not?

Map of ideal magical space

your personal magical timeline

witchy craft projects, past present and future

personal witchy alphabet- what does 'A' mean to you? 'B'?

own language of symbols

magical recipes- not just for kitchen witches! What food do you eat that makes you feel nourished/ready for the day/other positive thing?

[whumptober]

Whumptober 2020 - Updated

Welcome to Whumptober 2020! We’re doing things a little differently this year so please make sure to read the Event Info carefully. We are also excited to announce the addition of an AO3 Collection, which can be found here.

We hope you’re as excited as us to watch the Whump Community come together once again for a month of bone-crunching creativity and collaboration!

(All 31 Themes + Prompts, Event Information, and FAQs are posted below the cut!)

No 1. LET'S HANG OUT SOMETIME Waking Up Restrained | Shackled | Hanging

No 2. IN THE HANDS OF THE ENEMY  "Pick Who Dies" | Collars | Kidnapped

No 3. MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY Manhandled | Forced to their Knees | Held at Gunpoint

No 4. RUNNING OUT OF TIME Caged | Buried Alive | Collapsed Building

No 5. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING? On the Run | Failed Escape | Rescue

No 6. PLEASE.... "Get it Out" | No More | "Stop, please"

No 7. I'VE GOT YOU Support | Carrying | Enemy to Caretaker

No 8. WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO? "Don't Say Goodbye" | Abandoned | Isolation

No 9. FOR THE GREATER GOOD "Take Me Instead" | "Run!” | Ritual Sacrifice

No 10. THEY LOOK SO PRETTY WHEN THEY BLEED Blood Loss | Internal Bleeding | Trail of Blood

No 11. PSYCH 101 Defiance | Struggling | Crying

No 12. I THINK I'VE BROKEN SOMETHING Broken Down | Broken Bones | Broken Trust

No 13. BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT Delayed Drowning | Chemical Pneumonia | Oxygen Mask

No 14. IS SOMETHING BURNING? Branding | Heat Exhaustion | Fire

No 15. INTO THE UNKNOWN Possession | Magical Healing | Science Gone Wrong

No 16. A TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY Forced to Beg | Hallucinations | Shoot the Hostage

No 17. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING Blackmail | Dirty Secret | Wrongfully Accused

No 18. PANIC! AT THE DISCO Panic Attacks | Phobias | Paranoia

No 19. BROKEN HEARTS Grief | Mourning Loved One | Survivor's Guilt

No 20. TOTO, I HAVE A FEELING WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE Lost | Field Medicine | Medieval

No 21. I DON'T FEEL SO WELL Chronic Pain | Hypothermia | Infection

No 22. DO THESE TACOS TASTE FUNNY TO YOU? Poisoned | Drugged | Withdrawal

No 23. WHAT’S A WHUMPEE GOTTA DO TO GET SOME SLEEP AROUND HERE? Exhaustion | Narcolepsy | Sleep Deprivation

No 24. YOU’RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE Forced Mutism | Blindfolded | Sensory Deprivation

No 25. I THINK I’LL JUST COLLAPSE RIGHT HERE, THANKS Disorientation | Blurred Vision | Ringing Ears

No 26. IF YOU THOUGHT THE HEAD TRAUMA WAS BAD... Migraine | Concussion | Blindness

No 27. OK, WHO HAD NATURAL DISASTERS ON THEIR 2020 BINGO CARD? Earthquake | Extreme Weather | Power Outage

No 28. SUCH WOW. MANY NORMAL. VERY OOPS. Accidents | Hunting Season | Mugged

No 29. I THINK I NEED A DOCTOR Intubation | Emergency Room | Reluctant Bedrest

No 30. NOW WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? Wound Reveal | Ignoring an Injury | Internal Organ Injury

No 31. TODAY’S SPECIAL: TORTURE Experiment | Whipped | Left for Dead

Alternate Prompt List

Alt 1. Punctured

Alt 2. Falling

Alt 3. Comfort

Alt 4. Stitches

Alt 5. Stoic Whumpees

Alt 6. Altered States

Alt 7. Found Family

Alt 8. Adverse Reactions

Alt 9. Memory Loss

Alt 10. Nightmares

Alt 11. Presumed Dead

Alt. 12. Water

Alt. 13 Accidents

Alt. 14 Shot

Alt. 15 Carry/Support

Event Info

WHUMPTOBER is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 Official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way you’d like. They are meant to serve as inspiration without being taken literally (e.g. you don't have to include the exact wording into your work). Additionally, there are 3 prompts for each theme.  These are optional suggestions and can be used in conjunction with the theme, or as options/alternatives.  We want to give everyone as much creative freedom as possible, as well as increase event accessibility for folks with triggers and squicks.

Creators can PRODUCE work in any media they choose, including but not limited to: writing, visual artwork, and photo/video/audio edits. Creators can PARTICIPATE as much or as little as they want (i.e. you don’t have to do ALL the prompts if you don’t want to) and prompts can be used in any order. They are also free to use even after the event ends.

When uploading Whumptober content to your blog, be sure to tag the with:

#whumptober2020 …..(the event tag)

#no.1, #no.2, #no.3, …..(theme number)

#bruised, #stabbed,  …..(the theme or specific prompt you chose)

#fandom or #OC

#medium …..(gifs, fic, podcast, art, etc.)

#teeth, #etc …..(trigger warnings & any additional tags. Keep in mind not to add “tw” in front but only use the word/trigger itself, because tumblr sucks)

#nsfw, #nsfwhump …..(only for nsfw content)

PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING. Only properly tagged posts are considered for archiving on the official @whumptober2020​ blog. They must be tagged in the order above.

Unfortunately, due to the sheer number of participants in recent years, we cannot guarantee your work will be archived. A random selection of properly tagged posts from all genres will be reblogged each day.

Whumpers who produce content for 31 total theme days are considered event completionists and will be tagged in a masterpost at the end of the month.

Questions not addressed below can be directed to this blog as well.

Thanks for reading, and happy whumping!

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. What kind of content can I make? Can it be NSFW?

This is a MIXED MEDIA event! You can write fic, post meta, doodle or paint, create a gif set or photo edit, link a song, or get crafty with video - anything goes. As for NSFW, make what you like, we just hope that you’ll tag your work accordingly so that others participating in the event can stay safe :)

Q. Do I have to do all 31 Days? Can I post early/late?

Participate as much or little as you like, and post whenever! Just be sure to tag your posts properly (ex. #no.11, #psych101). Combining prompts into one piece of work is okay, and posting late is as well so as long as it’s in October.

Q. What if I don’t understand a theme?

Send us an ask! We’re happy to help clarify. That said, the themes are entirely up for interpretation :)

Q. Can I combine Whumptober with other creation challenges?

Absolutely! That’s like shooting two whumpees with one bullet :)

Q. Can I upload/repost my whumptober content to other social media platforms?

Of course! We’ve created an AO3 Collection to archive any fics posted there. The archive can be accessed here. The blog is the official archive, so please respect the boundaries of any closeted whumpers in your social circle :)

Q. Can I use prompts to write a new chapter for an existing fic?

Yes

Q. An existing fic I am currently writing contains many of the Whumptober prompts, can I use it?

If you are actively writing this fic at the moment with the whumptober prompts in mind, yes. If it just conveniently checks the boxes, then please don’t. You can, however, add new chapters answering one or more of the prompts.

Q. What kind of characters can I write for?

Fandom characters, OC characters, human, furry, alien, cyborg, whoever you like.

Q. Can I use a prompt multiple times?

Yes,  but it only counts once

Q. If I’m not comfortable with one day's prompts can I use a prompt of a different day as a substitute and still be a completionist?

Yes, but please do not use a specific prompt twice. We have also created an alternate prompts list that you can draw from [here].

Q. Where can I post my work?

Post where and how you want. You don’t even have to (cross)post it to Tumblr. Just keep in mind if it’s not on Tumblr we will not be able to add it to the blog archive.

Q. Can I start posting early?

You can, but this is an October event and wouldn’t it be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time? That being said, you can post early, but we won’t be reblogging any work predating October 1st.

Q. Do I have to finish a fic I started/can I post WIP’s.?

Yes you can post WIPs. And you’re not obligated to finish it in October for it to count towards being a completionist.  

Q. Is co-writing allowed?

Yes, absolutely, and it would count towards being a completionist for both/all of you :)

Q. Do I have to create 31 standalone pieces to be considered a completionist or can I write one continuous story?

One continuous story is fine.  The challenge is to write something for 31 prompts. If that’s spread over 31 fics or just one, you are still considered a completionist. (The same goes for every other media you choose.)

Q. Is there a min/max limit on word count?

There is no limit

Q. Can I combine prompts? Is there a limit on how many?

No limit and combine as many as you’d like.

Q. Is a hc/angst focus ok?

Of course!

Q. What’s considered nsfw?

See this post

Q. What's whump?

See this post

Q. My interpretation of the prompt isn't whumpy at all, does that count?

No, sorry, but keep in mind that whump [see definition] is something very nuanced and different for everyone and emotional whump/angst is just as much part of it, as is physical whump and torture. So before you dismiss your idea, think about this.

Q. Can I start working on the prompts before October?

Absolutely! That’s why we posted the prompts a month in advance. We recognise how difficult it can be creating for 31 days in “real time”.

Q. How do I tag triggers?

tw at the end of the word, ex. emeto tw

Q. Do I have to use your tags?

Yes, if you want your work archived on the blog. If not, feel free to use whatever tags you want.  

Q. Does combining prompts count towards completion?

Yes

Q. Can we @ you?

Yes but we mostly rely on the whumptober2020 tag

Q. Is there anything we are absolutely not allowed to write?

There are no rules, just be sure to properly tag your trigger warnings. And keep in mind Tumblr’s policies if you are posting it here (or the policies of whatever site you use).

Q. Where can I go for brainstorming help?

Here on Discord

Q. My characters are minors, is that ok?

Yes, but as with everything else, tags are your best friend.

Q. Can I cross post on other blogs?

Yes, multiple platforms and blogs are perfectly acceptable. You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once.

Note: This is a creation challenge, please don’t repost your old work under our tags (unless it’s been changed or edited for the event).

[fluffytriceratops]

Important Update! Please Read!!

I’m yeeting myself into the abyss. And won’t be on here much because of it.

In all seriousness, this is a important update on why I’m not on here as much and when I will return.

For those of you who don’t know, I work seasonally at a summer camp. I mainly work in the kitchen as a assistant to the head chef, but I also do a lot of cleaning. I mainly clean up after guests when they’ve stayed at one of the camp’s cabins/motels. Now I don’t really like this job, in fact, I kinda hate it. But as a broke art student, whose family has been struggling a ton financially this past year, I don’t have many options. And it does pay decently well. Normally the employees come at the end of June - beginning of July, but I’ve offered to come in a month early to help set up the camp. This is a shit ton of work, and I absolutely hate it. I had to do it last year, and I wanted to throw myself off a cliff. It’s extremely stressful and draining. My anxiety spikes up a ton. I’m constantly suffering both physically (I suffer greatly from pains, mainly in my back, hands, head, and wrists), mentally, and emotionally. My hands shake a lot, and it just gets to bad when I’m working and pushing myself so much. So to say I’m miserable during this time of the year is a bit of an understatement haha. This will be my second year working here but my family and I have been going there for many generations.

Working at this camp is a literal nightmare for me. I never really liked going there for long periods of time when I wasn’t working, and now that I am it drains the fun out of the place completely. I’ve had nightmares about having to go back all year. I wish I was exaggerating, but I promise I’m not lol.

Because I’ll be working almost everyday for the next three months (I also work the beginning of September but it’s not the full month so I don’t really count it), I won’t have much time for myself let alone tumblr and any other sites I’m apart of. Unfortunately this means that I won’t be able to write, draw, or roleplay much at all. And honestly, anytime that I spend not working I’ll probably be sleeping because that’s how exhausted I am. You have no idea how many times I just took a nap on someone’s couch last year during breaks. I’ve never napped so much in my life haha.

Long story short, any and all works of mine will be delayed and coming out very slowly for the next while. This includes roleplay responses. I’m very sorry to those of you who are/will be waiting on me to reply, not only to rps but to messages/reblogs and just about anything and everything really. Like I said, my posting schedule will be random and all over the place. I’ll write/draw/respond/rp when I have time and am in the mood. (Which is basically what I do now, it’s just I have far less time on my hands hehe)

This also means that I might come on occasionally to spam a few people now and again, because I’ll be missing a bunch of stuff lmao.

With all of that said; PLEASE CONTINUE TO TAG ME IN ALL OF YOUR STUFF SO THAT I CAN SEE IT WHEN I CAN! I’ll probably miss a couple posts here and there, and I apologize in advance if that’s the case, but I’ll try my hardest to respond/look at everything! Also- don’t be afraid to ask me if I’d like to be tagged in certain things (or to just tag me in general, I love hearing from you guys!) , it might take me a moment to get back to you, but honestly there are so many cool people on here, I feel so bad that I’m going to miss out on so much! And don’t be afraid to message me either! Again, it might take me a while to reply to you, but I’ll get around to it eventually! ^^

ALSO- to all of my mutuals/tumblr buddies— if you’re interested, I’d love just to chat with you guys! Whether that be on my dm’s here, or on Instagram or discord, whatever really. I’ve met so many amazing people and I’d love to keep in contact other than our posts! So, if you’re interested, feel free to message me on here or comment or reblog, whatever you feel most comfortable doing, and let me know! I can send you my insta or discord or whatever and we can keep in touch much easier! Don’t be afraid to ask to chat! I’d love to have more online friends! <3

I’ll probably post little life updates and stuff when I can, so look out for those if that’s something you’d be interested in seeing!

And let me know if you want to be tagged in any of my stuff, I post a lot of multifandom things, so if you see something you like, lemme know and I’ll tag you so you don’t miss out! I’ll probably be posting some older stuff/things I just haven’t uploaded to tumblr yet, so there’s that hehe.

Again- I’m really sorry that I won’t be very active on here. I’ll try to come on as much as I can! In the meantime, message me, tag me, and take good care of yourselves! Drink lots of water, take power naps when needed, get some sunshine and fresh air every once and a while, and make sure you remember to eat! Sometimes I forget, so it’s nice to have a lil reminder! ^v^

I love you all so so much, and I can’t wait till the summer is over lmfao.

IM SENDING ALL OF THE VIRTUAL HUGS TO YOU!!! ^3^

— LF / Fluffy / Fluffie. <3

Xox

Ps. Wish me luck. TvT

[virghogh]

Guessing NCT's rising signs: Huang Renjun as a Cancer rising

Welcome to my first post where I write all about why I think this idol is X rising sign! I don't know how many of these I'll do because it heavily depends on how confident I feel in my guess of their rising lol for Renjun's rising sign, it's something I've been sitting on for a loooong time just to see if anything else comes into my head. At the end of the day we really have no way to know for sure, even if the idols gives us their birth time it still has to be taken with a grain of salt! But it’s still fun theorize and to test your skills while learning at the same time. So for now I feel pretty confident sharing my thoughts on Renjun as a cancer rising.

Let’s ✨explore✨ why:

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧long post! *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✦ Before I even decided to look up his chart layout, there were 2 characteristics of Renjun that initially led me to think he’s a Cancer rising. His eyes and his physique. His eyes aren’t necessarily as big as idols we’ve seen with moon in 1st, but they’re still very notable features of his physical appearance that he’s very well known for. They’re bigger, soft and dreamy, and sometimes look like he quite literally holds stars in his eyes. The biggest physical feature though is his, well, petite frame. Next to his eyes, renjun is also really well know for his smaller build. It’s even a well known inside joke amongst NCT, they all him “big shoulders renjun” (lol) because “for a guy” his shoulders a on the smaller side. Both of these physical attributes can also be identifying characteristics of cancer risings.

✦ So, in general I think he is a Cancer rising. But if we want to be more specific; I do think he is a 3rd decan Cancer rising which is the Pisces/Neptune ruled decan. I initially chose this because his house and planet placements just make so much more sense to me when the rising is in the 3rd decan (I'll get into that below), but after reading about the 3rd decan I also think it fits his personality really well! With the Neptune and Pisces influence, he's more on the open side of Cancer rising but more notably, 3rd decans are a lot more inclined to art/creativity and sometimes, music specifically. These people also have a very dreamy attraction about them. He also has his Venus trine ASC which can further add to this kind of creative vibe he gives off, but is also drawn to! It emphasizes the importance of aesthetics, art and creativity in his life. If you've never been on Renjun stan twt then you might not know that a lot of his fans see him as this incredibly dreamy and ethereal boy (as they should) and I can see why!

*:･ﾟ✧house and planet placements *:･ﾟ✧

Scorpio moon, Sagittarius Pluto in 5th:

✦ yea... just yes. Okay but actually, if you read my NCT Dream Hexaco x Birth Chart analyses, I talked a lot about his chart already because I really like it. As someone with a Scorpio moon, I can't help but be really interested in how his plays out. And I have to say, I am quite attached to this theory because I think his scorpio moon in 5th just. makes. sense. I'm not going to go much into the descriptions of the placements, I'm mostly going to stick to the house influence. We know that Scorpio moons have really intense emotions, they internalize everything and are just highly sensitive people to their environments. Renjun has been incredibly open about his mental and emotional struggles ever since being a kid. I've honestly never heard an idol talk about their struggle like he has. He even opened up recently about how a few years ago he had an art therapist that really helped him and lowkey changed his life. I feel like a lot of this can be reflected in his 5th house. The house of creativity, expression, creation. His 5th cusp is also in Scorpio. 5th house in water tend to be really drawn to arts and music. Having a Scorpio moon, a moon sign that can be quite guarded, in a fire house can also explain his readiness/openness to share his emotions and art. Also let's not forget his chart ruler is his Scorpio moon in 5th! What I've wrote above are big themes in his life, which we've seen.

✦ As for the Pluto in 5th. Because his 5th house is in Scorpio this would mean the 5th ruler is in 5th. I know it might not make sense at first because it's pluto and pluto is misunderstood. But it makes perfect sense to me. Pluto in 5th is a deeply passionate and creative placement. It bring so much energy to this house, and can even create a borderline obsession with themes of this house. With creating and expressing. But I could also see having this and his scorpio moon in this house bringing so much energy, it just kind of adds to the confusion and intensity of a scorpio moons emotions and processing abilities, like, emotionally overwhelming. Scorpio moons always need an outlet and they usually figure that out the hard way at some point in life. The outlet can vary based off the chart, his is without a doubt connected to his art; whatever that may be to him.

───────────────────────────────────

Aquarius Uranus in 8th:

✦ This part is brief because it's more of like, additional details to what's already in his chart. Something that is really well known about Renjun too is how much he is into space and aliens and stuff like that. He, once again, has been very open about it lol on variety shows I've seen him light up every time its briefly mentioned and he'll comment on how much he finds that stuff interesting. The 8th house is weird, it can manifest in a lot of different ways. The biggest point here for me is that the house is in Aquarius with Uranus here. I know someone with this placement too and, while they're open minded to astrology and tarot etc. it's a bit more focused on logic. I can't say for sure because I don't know him, but he kind of strikes me as the kind of person that would fight to death over aliens existing, but draws the line at astrology lol. I actually do think he would be open to astrology and tarot, but he'd need the right introduction to it. Anyways, yea this placement to me explains a lot of his interest in space and things we don't understand. He's expressed his curiosity in it. I think a lot of this is coming from his Scorpio moon and Pisces mercury/venus which is why I think it's just additional support.

───────────────────────────────────

Pisces Mercury/Venus in 9th:

✦ THIS HOUSE right here... so much to say. Firstly, Pisces in 9th is probably one of the main culprits for his creativity, deep thinking and curiosity in the world. And more importantly: his imagination. I've mentioned this a lot when I talk about renjun but, he's very well known for his creativity, but I want to make it clear that there is a distinction between creation and imagination. His imagination is truly... on another level. Well, planet actually since it's pisces! Again, amongst fans it's really well known his imagination is just so unqiue. This is less about the 9th house and more about the fact that he has 2 pisces placements but it still affects it lol. He's very open about his imagination and speaks about it so naturally. He shared his drawing of a bird, hybrid, thing? and how it's an animal that steals your dreams in your sleep. Anyways, Pisces in 9th aren't necessarily the travelers we'd see with an air or fire sign here, but they like to travel mentally. He's also talked about how he's just in general a very curious person and you can tell his thoughts probably travel far and wide in his down time.

✦ What's really interesting to me about this house is his mercury is here and Mercury in 9th is a very specific kind of placement. It almost always guarantees an interest and talent in learning languages. I don't know if languages are necessarily a passion for him but he definitely is interested and cares about learning language and other cultures. He also did pick up on Korean and English with ease. Which also reminds me that, he actually was exposed to Korean at a young age because I'm pretty sure he went to a bilingual school (chinese and korean). This is also a big deal to me because planets in 9th, especially sun/mercury often indicate very early exposure to languages or other cultures... so yea that checks out. This can also be proved by looking at his IC in Virgo, which puts the ruler in 9th. His mercury is also sextile Jupiter. I also wanna comment that he has his Mercury in the 5th degree, I'm not great at degree theory yet but that feels significant to me. Of course we cannot forget his absolutely angelic voice. Renjun is also very well known for his stunning vocals. Not only are Pisces placements musically inclined but Pisces mercury are known for their sweet voices.

✦ As for the venus is 9th, I feel like I have more to say on his venus being in Pisces because that's where so much of his artistic creativity and imagination come from. But venus here adds to a lot of what I've written above, adding to his curiosity of the world. What I find most interesting about venus in 9th though, is it brings another inclination to art! He might really like art from different places in the world, or just exploring all types of art being very open minded to its different forms etc. Venus here also brings ease to language learning, and these people will naturally have other cultures and people from them as a big part of their life. I feel like, in general it's not surprising at all to me that as a foreign member (being from China), that he would have 9th house influence! It can often manifest as like.., travel, other languages, cultures and parts of the world etc. are just very naturally a part of their life. Some people never really contemplate life overseas or in another country. But for 9th housers, it's never not been an option. His 9th house influence can also make him a great teacher, mentor and just overall supportive person. We've seen some of this in the content he's made with NCT. Like trying to teach his members chinese with Chenle, except he was taking it way more seriously lol but was so supportive. He's also tried to get Jeno and Jisung involved in his art making, but keeping the process very open and fun.

───────────────────────────────────

Aries sun, Taurus mars in 10th:

✦ This is the last part I'm going to cover because it is really just the icing on the cake to finish this up. The 10th house is considered pretty important when looking at celebrities/idols because it's very likely a lot of what we see from them is their 10th house influence. In the chart model I'm using for Renjun, it puts his MC in the very last degrees of Pisces, so there's a chance it's in Aries but either way with his sun and mars here they are still playing a big role. So for that reason, I'm opting for Pisces MC. I also think Pisces MC fits though because first it puts the ruler in his 7th house. Meaning he could really benefit and work well in something that involves a group! Because it's Pisces in Neptune, it also adds to his very ethereal vibe and how people just seem to love him wherever he goes. He's very magnetic and can come off as artistic and sensitive. He's known for being dreamy, unreal, artistic, sensitive.

✦ Again, we know he has an aries sun and taurus mars so I'm not going to explain them here, just how they affect the house, but having his these here makes so much sense to me too. Having planets in 10th also influences what kind of "vibe" people get from you, and what you're "known" for. Mars and Sun bring similar energy of being well known for for energy, drive, and even stage presence. Not being afraid to be on stage, being good with attention and spotlight. He's known for his kind of playful and childish behavior at times. He is charismatic, bold, brave, happy and upbeat. With the sun, he is again known for his creativity and creations and also self-expression.

─────────────────────

Thank you to anyone who read all this. I don't really expect many people to because I'm mostly writing this for my own curiosity and to finally just put this theory out there! Anyways, stan Renjun best boy <33

Thoughts and feedback are always welcome <3

─────────────────────

[just-char]

Hey Char, been a while. I'm curious, did you play the Snowgrave route of chapter 2 and if so what were your thoughts? I played it and it makes me think of you with the horror elements, so I wondered if you gave it a go.

Hello, Bun! Long time, no see, indeed. I’m glad to hear you thought of me as I primarily associate playing Deltarune and Undertale with you (you were the one who bought me it in the first place, after all, and convinced me to play it. Even when I listen to the soundtrack I think specifically of how you enjoyed it!)

Also, Napstablook = Krickis as far as I am concerned. Where there is Napstablook, I am thinking of Krickis. On actual serious thoughts, the Snowgrave Route is certainly an exciting one. I have not played it myself (Kris and Noelle are so young and I can barely manage to play the genocide route in Undertale) but I did watch another person play through it and my thoughts are as follows: wow!

Toby Fox most definitely has a hidden penchant for horror and it’s planted all across Undertale and Deltarune (Alphy’s lab in the true pacifist run in Undertale immediately comes to mind.) It’s a lot to do with the environment and atmosphere he’s capable of building in all areas of the game creating process, whether it be music or art design or battle mechanics (I imagine with the help of others too, but unfortunately I’m not very familiar with who works on the games) and creepy seems to come easy to him! I know you didn’t ask about Spamton, but his boss battle is another fantastic example of this. That horror element is a lot more... nightmare-y, though, I suppose? What I mean to say is, it’s almost silly. It doesn’t feel as real as what’s happening with Kris actively throughout the game, or what happens to Berdly. Part of this is because fighting Spamton doesn’t have consequences (that are obvious to the player.) The worst that happens is that Kris appears to have a panic attack afterwards and is visibly upset by what they’ve been forced by us to witness, but what I like specifically about the Snowgrave Route is that this lasts and it’s really explored. The lasting consequence it seems to have on the psyche of Noelle and Kris and the implication of the entire route is horror through and through, in a fantastic, amazing, wowza way.

And now, because I am a little bit too excited to talk about this, an unedited and possibly impossible to read ramble about horror and Noelle and Kris below the cut. The way I describe the game and the role the player has might be upsetting, so please do not read unless you’re very comfortable with body control horror etc..

Deltarune isn’t a horror game but its premise mirrors one in multiple ways and I find that very fascinating. It is almost more unnerving that such horrible experiences are masked by the fun, whacky outer layers. One could play Deltarune and never find Jevil or Spamtom’s boss fight or play the Snowgrave route and remain blissfully unaware of what lurks beneath a very normal (if occasionally dark!) adventure story.

Despite this, there is a lot to be said about Kris and the player’s control over them, as well as some choice words from Noelle about Kris’ recent behaviour and demeanour. It’s hard not to assume that Kris is possessed by us. We can force them to say things but they can react to these dialogue choices and become visibly upset at the actions we force upon them, so even playing the game as intended without discovering anything remotely below the surface, it’s impossible to ignore what actually playing the game and controlling Kris does to them. Essentially, stripping away all of the scariest parts of Deltarune doesn’t matter, because its actual premise, where you play, not as Kris, but as an entity CONTROLLING Kris, is in itself horrific! Kris is a child, at most sixteen and I certainly believe younger than that, and no amount of drawing them weirdly tall and lanky and emo-y can change that.

Possession and inability to control one’s self are heavily utilised in horror. When you consider how many times you’ve watched someone be tied down, forced to witness whatever is happening to them in real time, or the general horror and gore associated with demon possession in even current mainstream movies like The Conjuring (or even a mix of both! Media that explores being trapped inside the body without any control while being possessed and the effects it has on your mind is not common enough) it’s easy to see the connections between a lot of horror tropes and Kris’ ‘problem’. Only thing is, we’re directly perpetuating this horror every time we play. We are the demon! We are the person who is strapping someone down and forcing them to witness horrific things by our hand! I mean, it’s just fantastic. Deltarune is by no means a horror but it certainly feels like it. I suppose that’s the power of implication!

Being more specific to the Snowgrave route (I promise the previous ramble was related!) the player extends this control to Noelle, arguably the most vulnerable and ‘helpless’ character in the game so far besides Kris themselves (and even then, that’s in a much more literal way.) unlike Kris, who physically has no choice, Noelle feels as though she has no choice. She’s a pushover and unable to prevent who she perceives as her childhood friend from forcing her to do things she doesn’t want to. Her relationship with her mother seems to play into this complex. Noelle has always been one of my favourite characters— even with what little we see of her in chapter one, she makes a lasting impression and it’s not surprising that people wanted her to be a party member in this chapter. (The irony!) But this newest chapter also furthers an interesting trait of hers, namely, her fascination with fear. She enjoys being scared, she gets a rush from being in dangerous situations, feeling unsafe. She says so herself, though she uses more external situations to explain it (scary forests, etc.) It certainly explains her crush on Susie, but in the Snowgrave Route, it really works against her. Or, we use it against her. At a first glance, what we do to her in the Snowgrave route is awful, and then, the more you think about it, the worst it gets (usually a trademark of excellent horror and great writing in general, in my opinion.) not only are we playing into her deepest insecurities (because remember, it’s not Kris doing this, or us playing AS Kris, it’s just we, the player) we are actively abusing her as a person. We force her to fight. We force her to hurt people. We do all this for power. And we do all this while simultaneously doing it to Kris as well! And forcing Kris to be our mouthpiece, forcing them to hurt their friend who they presumedly love and care for! Unlike Susie and Ralsei, Noelle’s opinion of us cannot affect our journey and she is easy to control, so we do it. And once again, these are kids! They are children! We are not fighting Sans Undertale to the death, we are actively abusing and controlling children, much to the detriment of their mental health and the physical health of those around them.

Details such as the watch and the blackened “conversation” we have with Noelle in the hospital really only add to the experience. The implication that Berdly has been seriously harmed and potentially killed by what we’ve done to him (or more accurately, forced Noelle to do to him) is handled really interestingly from the younger persons perspective, where he simply doesn’t wake up. I could really go on and on, but unfortunately time is a constraint and I don’t think what I’m saying is very easy to parse anyway.

To summarise: Snowgrave Route good. Very well-written. Deltarune is a horror in disguise, but I will continue to put my hands over my ears and pretend everything is okay, just like Mr Toby Fox would like me to do. Thank you very much for the ask, I hope you’re doing well! If you have any thoughts of your own, please share them with me. I’d be delighted to hear your opinion as a writer (horror or not.) :]