#lmao i really woke up and chose violence

[umbrx]

She should be careful not to become the bullied one.

[limitlessscion]

Just got about 10 episodes into the chimera ants arc in HxH and oh my god

[aleksanderscult]

I loved your analysis! Can you analyse the (barely there, not enough) Darklina scenes from the KOS duology? I could not rationalize some of what was going on there.

First of all, I'm so sorry for taking that long to reply, anon! (Hasn't it been over two weeks since you send this or what??😭😭)

Second, thank you so much for your kind words! 💗💗

Third, you and I both friend 🤝🤝

'Cause honestly I didn't know what the fuck was happening in that interaction too 😭

I'll actually analyze the only Darklina scene we got in RoW. But if you want another one too, just send me an ask!

So! Let's dive in and analyze that hot mess, shall we?

(note: I had to go back and read this scene very carefully in order to understand what the actual fuck they were saying💀)

⚠️TW!: PTSD, trauma⚠️

The way he's so obedient with her even in this life 😭

If somebody else had ordered him to do that, he wouldn't obey. But Alina? Alina is a different story and this is the first time he hears her voice since his death in R&R.

'Any little victory'

Uhh....okay...??

You made him wipe his feet. I'm.... impressed??

(confusion levels 📉)

LMAO MY BOY WOKE UP AND CHOSE VIOLENCE

I always believed that the dynamic between Aleksander and Alina involves lots of teasing. But not in the fun sense. But in the sense of "I'm getting under your skin. My words to you sting".

And that's what the Darkling does here too. He's a prisoner. Their prisoner. So he tries to gain the upper hand by using his wits, his past with Alina and the latter's trauma against her to get even.

Pretty clever, huh?

See what I mean?

He tries to weaken her confidence and it's interesting that back in Keramzin he also tried to get even (and he did) by killing her mother figure.

Aleksander: "Wanna fuck with me? Wanna mess with me? How about that time when I burnt that orphanage and killed your "mother"?"

*Alina's sure confidence is gone and now the Darkling has the upper hand in her feelings*

OUTSTANDING MOVE 👌

Excuse me, Misha? Who the Hell gave you the permission to interrupt or talk at all??

Also, do you really expect from the Darkling to remember a little boy while he was too busy trying to rule a nation, win a war and persuade Alina to join him?

And if you also expect him to remember you from that time when Baghra went out to confront her son while you escorted her, then you're also wrong. 'Cause he was too busy being furious that his mother sided and helped the opposite side and too busy being distraught because he was watching her fall to her death.

You're not important, son.

Sit down.

LMAO THIS IS SO HILARIOUS

Misha you're still an infant. Please shut up.

I honestly liked him in the Grisha Trilogy (I found him a cutie) but now I want to slap him and everyone else in this duology except Aleksander

The Darkling has survived numerous murdering attempts against him. He was finally killed by Alina not because of some grand display of her powers but because the former was so heartbroken by Alina's fate (and his own because he would be alone) that he just gave up on his life. Basically he committed suicide.

Misha, you wouldn't be able to kill him even now that he's powerless and in chains. Probably you would stumble and fall in the effort or smth.

Uhh actually no, Mal.

Threating him only makes you sound like idiots, honestly.

Also, since when did Mal gained ✨wisdom✨?

Wasn't he the hot-tempered one in the trilogy who always got angry with the mere mention of the Darkling? And the one who wanted to kill him as well?

Alina, you know damn well what his name is.

Honestly, I think she didn't say it because she wanted to respect the fact that he trusted her to keep it.

And I agree that Yuri is a horrible name for him. Makes him seem like a fisherman 😭

Meanwhile Alina in S&B:

So either Bardugo kinda forgot these scenes or we're led to believe that these scenes weren't her being happy, but we thought she was happy.

(me casually ignoring that theory because I choose to believe only the things that MAKE SENSE)

The fact that Bardugo made Alina believe that she was unhappy when she was whole with her powers and surrounded by people like her but totally happy now that she has no powers (a part of her soul actually) and living with a man that slut-shamed her in a toxic, childhood place is umm... yeah. Not good.

So basically:

Aleksander: "You look different. You look like shit. What the fuck did they do to you? This is not you"

Alina: "No bro I'm happy now that I live in toxic conditions where the teachers mock me, Mal takes me out for a walk to forget my psychological traumas and I raise some Grisha children that will fade because they don't use their powers and some others that I probably am in no condition to raise. At least that's what the author said is happiness, bro."

Aleksander: "......."

Alina: "......"

The readers: "........."

ALEKSANDER IS HONESTLY ALL OF US FRR WITH HIS LINES

"In peace"

Yeah, having PTSD certainly is peaceful. And knowing that you abandoned your country and left its fate to chance certainly makes you sleep like a baby at night.

"We chose the life we wanted"

Alina, you didn't CHOOSE to lose your powers. And before that you didn't even know what you wanted to do with your life. It was a last minute decision for you.

"I fell pray to the same greed that drove you"

Girl, are we the only ones who did our homework??

In his POV in RoW he confirmed that he tampered with merzost in the past because he wanted to stop Ravka's wars. So as far as we know he never used power exclusively for himself.

"I paid the price for tampering with merzost"

Now hold a second. I thought that the reason Alina lost her powers is because Morozova wanted that said power to be shared by any otkazat'sya around. It wasn't that much of a punishment as much as a need for Morozova to share that power.

Unless it was..... both?

I just want a guy that will believe in me and my abilities the way Aleksander does with Alina, man 😭

He strongly believes that she could become a Queen even without her powers. And he's actually so right when he says to her that her wounds won't heal. Because no matter how much you try to convince yourself that you are alright. No matter how hard you try to persuade your mind that you're not broken, reality will always hit you. Some wounds never heal and Alina's certainly will not. She didn't lose a toy, she lost a part of her soul and witnessed many die. How the hell does she think she's suitable to raise children, when she herself is NOT okay psychologically?

"In the wake of your wars"

Excuse me. Why is the Fjerdan and Shu wars always the Darkling's fault??

"And maybe when our country is free, then that wound will close"

She sounds so brainwashed bye--

And just like I said, wounds like that never close unfortunately. It can only become more bearable with time. But not forgetable.

Ah yes. Bardugo makes us watch how cute their relationship is.

Am I supposed to take off my camera and snap pictures of them whispering with tears in my eyes: "They look so adorable"?

'Cause I won't.

The way Bardugo has made Mal unfazed by the Darkling's comments. A thing that completely contrasts his nature in the Grisha trilogy.

He also made him have "sassy" lines because we've got to like him somehow, right? 🤗

Still hate him

Basically, dear anon, the author has made Mal more "likeable", immune to the Darkling's insults, patient and witty in order for us to change our mind about him and finally like him.

(mission failed btw)

He is literally nothing like his trilogy counterpart and, if possible, she made him more annoying.

(how the hell she managed to do that, I don't know)

I just feel sorry for Aleksander who has to deal with all these jerks. If I were there, I would have helped him kill them and bury their bodies.

Because you let your heart and feelings get the better of you, Aleksander. Because you proved to be the most human of all these characters here. You let her come close. And that's what killed you.

(also, shut up Misha)

Alina, you could have said "no" to that invitation. So stop acting like they dragged you from the hair here.

"Do you think you could manage it?"

Do you, Alina? 'Cause really, what did YOU do to make the lives of Grisha better? At least he built a palace for them.

"It's not like you didn't get a fair try before. Hundreds of tries"

Yeah, and half of them failed because you got in the way. You refused to listen to him and, even if you didn't like the way he dealt with the persecution, you chose to run away (again) instead of deciding to stay and do better.

SHE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT ZOYA AND NIKOLAI COULD DO BETTER LMAO 😭😭

Zoya, the very fact that he mentioned you should feel like a badge of honor.

And yet Ravka is in its worst condition ever.

Sorry Alina but I don't see shit from them.

The fact that the Darkling keeps mentioning that he's eternal is to remind them that he has seen everything and done everything. He has more experience than they will ever have. Not to gloat about it. And yet Alina takes it as the latter.

And it's funny that Alina turns him down for the job saying he has no powers when Alina herself suffers from the same condition 😀

Finally someone with self-reflection.

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!!

PREACH!! PREACH!! 👏👏

When you have the "villain" exposing the true problem in the story, the flaws and failures while having the heroes screaming "EVERYTHING IS FINE. YOU'RE WRONG!" then you know that something is wrong.

How the Hell are they gonna provide eternal peace in Ravka and to the Grisha when:

They have no experience

They are too busy criticizing the villain instead of looking at their own flaws

They doubt themselves

(you can add to the list, guys)

And he's not shaken because he's talking with a Saint, Zoya. He's shaken because he's talking to Alina. She always had a way in getting under his skin. He said it.

"Fine. Make me your villain" fits here 'cause he never perceived himself as the bad guy but he knew that this is what others thought of him.

I think it still stung to him to know that others saw his every action in a negative light but he still kept going. And sometimes he even used it (at the end of R&R).

Alina still wants to believe that there's something redeemable inside him. Her POVs were always the "kindest" in the way they painted the Darkling.

MISHA COULD YOU PLEASE SHUT IT

What about his mother, huh??

Who, despite the abuse he suffered from her, he still cared about??

Alina?? Oh boy, he was in love with her, obsessed and gave her so many chances. Something that he almost never does unless he's desperate.

So PRETTY PLEASE STOP TALKING

Meanwhile the Darkling in R&R, chapter 11:

"I have regretted many of the things I’ve had to do in this war."

So either Bardugo forgot that or Alina did or Aleksander changed his mind.

Or (my theory) Bardugo changed his perception in order for us to feel less sympathetic towards him.

Nevertheless, at least he has a spine and knows where he stands.

And Alina wanted the Darkling to say it not for him but for her. So she can feel okay. Unless Zoya is talking bullshit.

YES ALEKSANDER WHY DIDN'T YOU LIE SO OUR HEROINES COULD FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES???!!

HOW DARE YOU?? 😠😠

He tries so hard to persuade her that the reality she lives in will not pay off anything. First off, this is not who she is or what she was meant to become and second, why does she teaches children stories that are lies? Feeding them false hope, repeating a circle that others had also been doing.

"Do you *really* believe..."

He wants to make sure that she stands by that. He just can't believe that this is her opinion. Her choice.

He just wants her to shine people!! 😭😍

"Those stories tell us the only people who matter are Kings and Queens. They're wrong"

Now tell me, Alina, which stories do YOU tell them? What do you teach them? That the world is as rosy as the orphanage they live in, where they only eat sugar and play the piano? Do you imagine what kind of reality check will those children get once they live in the real world?

And here, ladies and gentlemen, we see the Darkling having reached his limits and saying "Fuck this shit I'm out"

Congratulations, Aleksander! You survived that meeting with these buffoons and their groundless arguments!! 👏👏

Here, have this! 🏅

He saw his chance (Alina holding Mal's hand) and seized it. But I think he really meant all those questions he asked to Alina.

So, dear anon, what we have here is the villain making his effort (again) to be heard and understood. He tries to make them see his own point of view: Ravka is in serious danger and Zoya and Nikolai are in no position to protect it. He, on the other hand, can since he has more experience and balls to deal with these issues. The Darkling is no pussy. He truly makes hard decisions when he must, something that essentially all rulers must do when the situation calls for it.

But! We have the good guys silencing him and threating him (even having a little child to do the last one) in order for the reader to understand what he has left in his wake. How much pain he has caused.

Mal has gotten ✨magically✨ wiser and calmer and has actual wits to repel the Darkling's insults in order for us to get to like Mal and see how much he has changed.

Alina sounds like a brainwashed woman who is convinced that her lifestyle is great! That wanting something more (idk. a throne and changing the world maybe) is sinful and unfitting of her.

Aleksander is the only one who thinks otherwise for her, though. Thank God, I mean!

He sought Alina out both to reclaim his powers and because he just wanted to see her.

Personally, in this scene only the Darkling makes sense. The others either want to feel good about themselves by threating him or want to convince him that "Hey, we're the good ones here. We know what we're doing, okay?" and his own ways are shit.

Dear anon, if you have any other questions or want me to analyze any other Darklina scene from this book or duology that I didn't include, then just say so!

And please any others who want to add something about this scene, feel free to criticise in the comments! 💛💛

[aris-ink]

some horror smut with seokjin pls 😭 ppl barely ever write about him

tysm to my 🐋 angel for providing inspiration and supporting me... thank you to @baalsgurl1913 for reading through this and guiding me with her love. and thank you to @yoongsisbae for helping me choose the right direction <3 I am... so sorry for what I am subjecting y'all to lmao

pairing: jin x reader

genre: romance, ghost!au

warnings: mentions of blood and violence (not towards the reader), multiple deaths (+ major character death), implied murder, cheating (not by jin), supernatural elements (hauntings, afterlife), mentions of medication, manipulation and obsession, implied mental and physical torture (agsffhsgsh rip minho), angst, rough sex, dirty talk, praise, mentions of spanking, choking, creampie

"Does it help?"

So cold. His hand felt so cold as it brushed through your hair.

"Does it help you move on? To feel like you've buried me?"

Unable to turn around and look at him - or whatever that thing was - you pulled your knees up to your chest and hid your face in them.

"I did," you whispered. To convince him or yourself, you weren't sure. "I did bury you."

Like a little girl, you gently rocked yourself back and forth on your bed, the chill of the dark room so severe it was making your fingers numb.

"Did you?" He hummed into your ear. "I'm right here."

You could barely hold yourself together, your heart sinking so low you feared he could snatch it from under the ground and keep it there with him forever to rot.

"I promised I'd never leave you, didn't I?"

Despite the fear weighing on your chest, your eyes opened slowly. You woke up in the warmth of your sheets, your vision blurry with tears. Seeking comfort, or at least a confirmation you weren't alone, you turned towards your boyfriend and pressed yourself into his back. You tried to swallow down the lump in your throat, the grief and the guilt of trying to move on. It didn't help. The bitter mixture only seemed to upset your stomach. With a sigh, you sat up and blinked, wiping at your eyes. Outside the window dusk was slowly fading. You reached for your phone, then planted your feet on the wooden floor.

6 am. Looked like you'd have an early start.

*

Grief was... loud. It demanded to be heard. He was sure even the dead could not rest in peace with how you tossed and whimpered in your sleep. He certainly couldn't. But the bastard lying beside you remained oblivious to your suffering. Pathetic, really. Jin couldn't believe this was the man you chose to replace him with. The man who got to see your pretty smile, go to sleep and wake up by your side - when he didn't deserve any of it at all.

He would have felt that way about anyone who went near you, of course, but there was no denying the fact that he held a special kind of contempt for Minho. All those late nights out, the perfume he smelled of when he came home. Surely you weren't that blind? Surely you could see that he wasn't faithful? Always drifting off somewhere, even as you spoke to him. Jin wished he could grab him and break every bone in his body, slowly, make him pay for every sin he's ever committed. The sin of being with you, touching you. The sin of hurting you.

But all he could do was kneel by your bed and run his fingertips down your cheek. He tried to catch the tears that fell, wipe them away like he used to when he was alive. It didn't do much besides inducing a little shiver, making you pull the blankets tighter around your body.

*

A few months have passed since the car accident, yet he continued to appear in your dreams. It felt like any attempts you made at trying to find peace were being torn apart by his shadow, leaving you lethargic and confused... making you pay less attention to your new relationship. During the day, you questioned your sanity and wondered if you should see a doctor.

During the nights, however, in that cold, little dreamland of yours he haunted, you tried to find the answers to questions you wouldn't dare to ask out loud.

"Why are you still here?"

You still couldn't face him, but you felt his presence, a ghostly touch travelling down your sides. The nightmares themselves were distressing enough, but there was something else gnawing at you, a possibility that made you ache.

"Are you stuck? Is there no light there?"

You could feel Jin's arms wrapping around you from behind. Such a chilly, foreign experience, disturbing you in ways you couldn't even understand; everything seemed too realistic.

"There is," he murmured, his voice sounding amused. "And I went right into it."

You swallowed, staring at the wall ahead of you.

"Oh."

You couldn't tell if you felt relieved or disappointed. You chewed on your bottom lip.

"So, you're not real then," you whispered, as if to yourself. "Just my imagination."

"Oh no," Jin protested. "I'm very real, baby."

Your brows furrowed, your heart skipping a beat. You haven't heard him call you that in so long it made you want to curl yourself up to him. Real or not.

"But you said you followed the light."

"Mm, that I did," his lips grazed your shoulder, a hint of ice with velvet, followed by a soft whisper. "You're my light."

A dam inside you cracked, the turbulent waters behind it about to shatter it altogether, along with your willpower and common sense. You missed him so much. You wished you could hide in his arms and stay like that forever, even if they felt so cold. You'd give up the sun and live in eternal winter if it meant that things could go back to the way they were.

But they couldn't. And that wouldn't be living at all.

*

"Ah, don't forget your pills."

You smiled at Minho and grabbed the small, plastic bottle from him. It's been only two weeks since you saw a psychiatrist, but the quality of your life has improved immensely.

And also, it didn't.

While you no longer feared going to bed, closing your eyes was still a struggle. You didn't need to dream to see Jin's face behind your eyelids.

There was an uncomfortable, odd sense of guilt stirring inside you, like you've done something wrong. Like you've shut him out and left him all alone there in the void. And yet that was all the more reason for you to keep taking your medication and trying to move on. Jin was gone; there was no changing that. Sticking to rationality made it easier for you to ignore these feelings, to tell yourself that you didn't feel unusually cold when you entered your bedroom.

You glanced up at Minho when he got up from the table, grabbing his coat.

"Are you going somewhere?"

He smiled at you as he worked on fixing his tie.

"Just work stuff."

You put down your fork, your appetite suddenly gone. Work stuff, at nine pm. On a Saturday night. Again.

"Don't wait up, honey."

You didn't have the mental strength to deal with this and your inner turmoil. Instead of speaking up, you tried to force a smile when he bent down to press his lips to yours. An inch separated you, your eyes fluttering shut.

And then - a sudden crash that made you jump in your seat.

Frowning, Minho straightened up, looking behind you.

"What the hell?"

Your heart thudded in your ears. The fright that pulsed through you spread all the way to your fingertips, making your hands feel weak. You turned your head towards the source of the sound, blood draining from your face.

The frame that held the first picture you took with Jin was lying on the floor, shattered, glass broken into pieces. You hid it inside the cabinet right above the spot, yet now it was wide open, gaping.

Even though your knees felt like cotton, you stood up and rushed towards it automatically. You collapsed onto the floor, barely registering Minho calling out your name. With trembling fingers, you began to pick up the pieces in a hurry, not even fazed when you felt two warm hands curling around your arms.

"Are you crazy?" Minho snapped, pulling you away from the mess.

You struggled out of his grasp, your elbow knocking into his chest roughly. You scrambled back to the broken frame, blinking through the tears. It was so hard to see.

"It's- it's broken," you stammered. "Broken. I need to clean it up."

Minho crouched down next to you, gripping your wrists.

"You're hurting yourself!" He hissed. "Look."

He shook both of your hands. Dazed, you glanced down, brows scrunching when you noted the blood dripping from your fingers.

"But-"

Minho stared at you, a flash of uncertainty in his eyes, like for the first time he was really seeing you. Like for the first time something akin to guilt stirred in his stomach. Keeping your wrists in a tight grip, he wrapped an arm around your waist, gently pulling you up with him.

"Come on, honey. I''ll clean it up in a sec. Hold on."

He guided you to sit back down on your chair. You could still feel your heart ramming against your chest, frighteningly heavy with the weight of stress. Minho left your side to step up to the cabinets, rummaging through them in search of a first aid kit.

Numbly, you observed him uncap a bottle of antiseptic. Only when it came into contact with your skin did you feel the sting of the cuts, a sizzling sensation that made your fingers twitch. He bandaged them up one by one, seven in total, wincing as he cleaned up the blood.

Silently, as he promised, he went to clean up the mess on the floor as well, ensuring to sweep the area thoroughly. With a brief glance at the picture, then back at you, he set it down on the counter carefully. You felt like you were outside of your body, barely there, unable to speak up and tell him to not throw the picture away. He seemed to know that himself, though.

He picked up your bottle of sleeping pills and placed it on the table beside you.

"I'm late now, but I still have to go. Get some rest okay? You can text me if you feel unwell."

You blinked up at him, unsure if you were grateful to be left alone now or if you wanted to beg him not to walk out the door. Still, you couldn't even nod when he leaned down to kiss your forehead. With your hands on your knees, you listened to him leave and lock the door.

Your eyes flickered from the counter where the picture was, then to your pills. Unable to help yourself, you left the bottle behind and went straight to bed. Waiting for the adrenaline to flow off you and the exhaustion to do its job. You couldn't force yourself to swallow the medication tonight, an uneasy feeling intensifying in your chest.

*

This just wouldn't do.

How much more could he take? He stood by your bed and watched your eyes fall closed, fuming. He caught your attention, and that fucker's too, but Minho was probably too stupid to think much of what happened. Even if a frame did fly out of your kitchen cabinet on its own.

The two weeks he spent without being able to contact you were agony. Time didn't seem to exist on the other side. For the living - for you - it flowed like a river. For Jin it was a bottomless ocean and he felt like he was drowning without you. He couldn't stand the fact that you just tried to toss him away and move on with your life as if he ceased to exist. It was clear you still loved him. Why were you so unwilling to believe that he was right by your side? Did you really think something as trivial as death would ever take him away from you?

All the anger inside of him simmered, so powerful it felt like an explosion when he watched you sit in the kitchen with that pathetic excuse of a human being.

Until it overflowed.

He was almost as surprised as you were when the cabinet flew open. He hasn't been able to touch anything on this side of life.

Now, as he stood over your bed, he contemplated what he could do with that newfound power. There were so many possibilities.

With a hum, he brushed your cheek softly. Decisions, decisions.

*

This dream was different from the others. You were still in your bed, but this time Jin didn't sit behind you. You could see his silhouette in the corner of your room, blending in with the shadows. You shivered, relief settling over you for some reason, despite how disturbing the atmosphere felt. At least he was there.

You didn't know what to say. You had a feeling he was angry at you for leaving him behind. Why else would he stand so far away?

"Missed me, baby?"

His voice sounded soft. You hid your face in your hands, confused, unable to tell if the spectre before you was a figment of your imagination, a cry from the grief you tried to escape, or something more sinister. Something more real.

But whatever it was, it was still Jin, in some way. Wasn't it?

When you heard light footsteps approaching your bed, you stiffened, still lacking the courage to look up. For so many reasons. Would he look dead? Would he look normal? Either way seeing him again would break your heart.

You felt him kneel down on the creaky floorboards, slowly taking your hand in his. A chill spread through you, your eyes shut tightly.

"What have you done?" He whispered, pressing a kiss to each bandaged finger. A feather light touch.

"No more suffering, baby. Promise me... Just let go. I'm right here."

*

The next night you drifted off in your armchair for what seemed like a few minutes. You awoke with a sigh, getting up to stretch in the dark and make your way towards your bedroom.

Minho must have still been out somewhere. You tried to ignore that thought.

Strong arms wrapped around you, halting your steps. You froze, the soothing warmth and smell of a cologne that was so familiar to you making your heart thud. You whirled around in shock, for the first time letting yourself look at him. Your hands grasped at his shoulders. He felt so much warmer than usually. Dark, soft hair framing his handsome face, his eyes burning into yours. Wearing the same leather jacket you've seen him in on your last day together.

Was this another dream? It had to be.

"Baby," he muttered lowly, his hands coming to rest on your waist.

The sudden proximity after such a long time of being apart made your stomach swirl. It was strange how solid his hold was on you.

He took a moment to stare into your eyes, the pretty eyes he missed so much, glistening and bright. You were so confused, your chest constricting with pain and love all at once. You opened your mouth to speak, but words failed you. This had to be a dream, right? But why did he feel this warm? His eyes seemed so dark. So much darker than they ever were before. His lips knocked into yours, not allowing you to voice your perplexity and your doubts, or focus on your thoughts at all.

Such hunger. He didn't think the dead could feel hunger, or much of anything, but he was wrong. His soul endured starvation in this ruthless void, starvation for your love, your touch, you. It turned into a dark desperation that dripped and dripped onto you like fire, from his tongue brushing your lower lip, from the fingertips dancing across your ribs.

He groaned, a low, raspy sound that made your thighs clench.

Not for long.

He pried them apart and settled himself between them, his lips pressing soft, wet kisses into your neck.

"Fuck," he sighed, fumbling with the zipper of your jeans, his hands shaking. "I missed you."

You wanted to let him push you into the nearest wall so willingly, you would have any other time. But this still felt so odd. So real.

For a moment, you lost your breath, and the only thing you could focus on was the way he slid your jeans halfway down your thighs, not even bothered to undress you or himself properly.

"Missed you," he repeated in a whisper.

When you heard him unbuckling his belt your pussy clenched around nothing, leaking through your panties. There was a soft grunt as his trousers pooled around his ankles, one hand hooking your leg around his waist.

"Missed you too," you gasped, your head tilting back when you felt a sharp tug and heard the cotton material of your underwear being ripped in half.

"I know, baby."

The tip of his cock brushed through your slick folds, the slight pressure of the hard, thick length causing a shiver to erupt down your spine. Jin hissed, squeezing your thighs as he spread you open.

"Missed me here too?"

He emphasized the question with a teasing thrust, rubbing against you. Very fleetingly, the thought of Minho tickled the back of your mind, like a butterfly. You weren't a cheater. But... this wasn't real, was it? Even if it was, you weren't sure if you were able to overcome the shock of it, the need and the yearning burning inside you.

As if sensing your hesitation, Jin rolled his hips, entering you harshly and knocking all air out of your lungs. You felt so full of him, pulsing hotly around his cock.

"Don't think about him," he seethed. "Don't think about anything. Only me."

He didn't make that task very difficult. All your thoughts turned to ashes when he gripped your throat with his hand and started to fuck you, slamming you into the wall behind you with every aggressive snap of his hips. Like he wanted to take all of his frustration and love out on your body, make you suffer from pleasure.

"You're only mine," he groaned into your ear. "Your heart is mine. This pussy is mine. I should beat your ass raw for fucking forgetting that."

Your knees quivered, a whine tearing out of your throat. He tightened his hand around it, cutting the sound off.

"Say you're sorry."

You clenched around him. Somehow, the aggression only made your head spin more, because if he didn't feel real before, he definitely did now.

"Say you're sorry," he demanded sternly, "you little fucking brat, s-shit."

"Sorry!" You breathed, barely audible with how hard he was choking you, your eyes stinging and pussy fluttering. "Sorry."

Jin grunted and let go of your neck, burying his hand in your hair instead. You felt lightheaded, barely able to catch the air he allowed back into your lungs, panting with how close you were.

"Good girl," he whispered, strained, a moan following the praise. "Fuck, missed you so much, not g-gonna last, shit-"

You weren't going to, either, but he busied himself with pulling on your hair and slipping his other hand in between you. He pressed his finger into your clit to rub it roughly, causing even more slick to flow out of you, making his thrusts sloppier.

"So wet. So pretty. I love you so much, ah, fuck."

His breathing sounded just as harsh as his thrusts in your ear, growing desperate, louder than your own cries.

"Haven't been fucked how you deserve to be in so long, my love," he mumbled, plump lips brushing against your skin. "Come for me, please. Come on, doll. Need to feel you," he groaned. "Shit! Come on. I'll fill you up so, so good."

You couldn't help the sudden, violent snap in your stomach that made you shake and cream his cock. Jin threw his head back, revealing his attractive, tanned neck, his adam's apple bobbing. His groans were carnal, filthy, his cock twitching inside of you, filling you up with a rush of his cum. If possible, you felt even fuller, your chest glowing and your cunt sticky from his orgasm. With a hiss, he rested his forehead on your shoulder, his embrace tighter around you, keeping your knees from giving out.

You floated in his arms, barely registering the fact that he picked you up and carried you towards the bed you used to share, his own knees feeling weak.

So he was able touch you. So he was able to love you. He watched you fall asleep, hope blooming in his chest only to wither away into disappointment. So what? In the end, what did that matter? You couldn't have a life together, grow old, have children. He would never be able to take you out to an expensive restaurant or buy you a gift, and who knew how long this would last? Could he only touch you when he was angry, overwhelmed, empty?

This just wouldn't do.

*

It took a mere few days for the opportunity to arise.

It was so hard to tell what was happening around you. Your eyes blinked open to a bright light blinding you. You had no idea where you were. Was this another dream, again? You squinted, trying to cover your face. The light felt warm and safe, calling to you, like it wanted to pull you into its pearly embrace.

Instead, a darker embrace enveloped you.

"Don't go," a sweet murmur. "Not yet, baby. Stay with me."

You lifted your eyes towards the light, still squinting, although it seemed to be fading in its intensity little by little. For some reason you felt like you were running out of time.

Something was wrong.

"Stay with me," Jin repeated quietly. "You know there is no me without you. Don't go where I can't follow."

You hesitated. Weren't you on your way to see your mother with Minho? An image flashed through your head, leather seats and the low hum of music on the radio.

No, you were definitely in a car. So where the hell were you now? The last thing you remembered was the same bright light that was dimming in front of you now. You turned your head to the side, coming face to face with Jin.

The puzzle pieces clicked into place and you looked towards the enchanting source of illumination again. It was dwindling, though its call still felt just as enticing and loud, urging you to follow.

You turned your head back towards Jin.

"Did we... crash? Am I dead?"

A hint of sorrow glimmered in his eyes. He nodded meekly, his arms tightening around you, strong and secure.

"Stay with me," he pleaded, leaning in, his lips a breath away from yours. "I'll take care of you," he murmured.

His hand slid down your side, moving to your hip. Your breath caught in your throat.

"But... but-"

You tried to take a peek at the light in front of you, but he lifted his hand and placed it on your cheek, unwilling to let you look away from him.

Something felt so wrong; like your only chance for real, heavenly peace was slipping through your fingers. Like this wasn't where you were supposed to be, even if you ached to be with him.

"Jin..."

He shushed you, pressing a warm, affectionate kiss into your lips, his thumb brushing away your tears.

"We'll be together. Forever. I won't let you go again."

You sniffled, the space around you growing dark as night, his lips still inches from yours when he spoke again.

"You're okay, baby. I promise."

His grip on your face softened. You nodded, wiping at your eyes. He smiled at you, something you haven't seen in so long. It made your heart flip, for so many reasons.

"Good girl," he praised, stroking the top of your head affectionately. He ignored the trembling of your body, only pressing you closer to himself, trying to soothe your anxiety and pain away.

Even if he was the one who caused it.

He placed a gentle kiss on the shell of your ear. You promised to always be his.

Promises were made to be kept.

*

In a small, well lit room, Minho sat in a bed, eyeing the two figures in white lab coats standing before him suspiciously.

"I don't want to talk to you," he grumbled. "You're just here to treat me like one of your crazy patients."

The tall, dark haired man with glasses took a seat in the chair at the foot of the bed, crossing his legs.

"I don't consider any of my patients crazy," he answered calmly. "It's important to remain open minded and find a solution if a problem arises. I'm only here to listen and help you feel safe. I promise."

Minho narrowed his eyes, his gaze flicking from the elderly nurse who still stood by his side to the doctor.

The psychiatrist gave him a kind, dimpled smile.

"My name is Kim Namjoon. How about we start with that?"

"I don't care about your name," Minho huffed. "You have no idea what happened to me. You would never believe it either."

A pen clicked, its tip pressing into a notebook resting on the man's lap.

"Why don't you try me?" He coaxed gently. "Let's start at the beginning. As you're aware, the security footage shows your car swerving violently to the right. The doctor said you were trying to avoid hitting someone."

"I- I was."

Namjoon raised his eyebrows.

"But the roads were empty."

Minho flushed.

"Your tests also came back negative for any signs of drugs or alcohol in your system," Namjoon continued. "Have you been under a lot of stress lately?"

"I wasn't hallucinating because I was stressed," Minho snapped. "I saw someone!"

"Who did you see?"

Heaving a sigh, Minho glanced up at the nurse, who gave him an encouraging smile, as if to say: it's okay. He fiddled with the cool sheets covering him.

"My girlfriend's ex. He... died seven months ago."

"Ah," Namjoon said softly, steering his focus onto you, as if the revelation of seeing a ghost didn't faze him. "I'm sorry for your loss, Minho."

Another sigh, heavier, glassy eyes burning into the doctor helplessly.

"It was his fault!" Minho stressed. "He killed her and now he's going to kill me."

After a moment of soft scratching of pen against paper, Namjoon leaned forward, tilting his head to the side.

"What makes you think that?"

Minho hesitated.

"I... saw him in the hospital room as well. It was like a dream," he sniffed. "But I couldn't move."

Namjoon hummed, waiting.

"...He... said something to me."

Straightening up, Namjoon grabbed his pen again and pressed it into the white page.

"What was it?"

Minho pursed his lips, sighed once more. Cringed at his own words.

"He... he said," he gulped, "that- that I'm already ugly but he's going to fuck me up so bad my own mother won't recognize me."

Silence.

The nurse coughed into her hand.

Namjoon just hummed again, trying to hold back, trying so hard not to laugh, but a snort escaped him anyway, his lips curling into a smile while he wrote the words down.

"Jin really enjoyed fucking with you, huh?"

Minho frowned, his face flooding with heat, his hands curling into fists.

"Do you think this is funny?! How dare you sit here and-" he paused abruptly, the rest of his outburst forming into a big knot in his throat.

How did the psychiatrist know Jin's name?

Namjoon set his notebook and pen down, looking up at Minho.

"Don't worry," he murmured. "I promise he's not going to hurt you."

Minho leaned back into the bedframe, trying to sink into it as the man stood up. His aura did not seem so gentle anymore, but rather intimidating as he stalked over to him, disturbingly so.

His head momentarily snapped up to the nurse. She gave him a grin so crooked and strange it made his heart sink.

"Where the hell am I?" He whispered. "I thought this was a mental hospital."

"It was," Namjoon nodded, taking a seat beside him. "Many years ago."

As soon as he was closer, Minho froze, unable to move. A horrible thought occurred to him.

"Did I die?"

Namjoon tsked.

"Of course not. How would that be any fun?"

His hand reached out towards Minho, unusually cold knuckles brushing his cheek, making him flinch.

"I wouldn't be able to hurt you much if we were both dead, would I?"

The room seemed to darken somehow, its shape distorting with dim, sickly green flashes and black shadows. The logical part of him wanted to ask if he was drugged, but deep down, he knew the truth was much worse. His hands trembled violently, a cold, dark feeling spreading through his veins, rendering him weak. He was starting to grow dizzy.

"What did I do to deserve this?" He mumbled hoarsely through dry, shaking lips.

Namjoon bent over to the chair and grabbed his notebook, flipping through the pages. His image was becoming blurry, his voice an odd echo.

"Oh, let me see. Jin noted it all down here."

He settled on a random page.

"You're a liar," he listed, "you always forget your mum's birthday... Oh my, you're a republican as well."

Minho blinked, trying to keep himself afloat, too terrified of what he would wake up to if he fainted.

Namjoon's dark, amused eyes turned towards him, his deep voice eerily calm.

"What do you think you did wrong? Hm? You took his girlfriend, and then you cheated on her as well. Repeatedly. That's not nice, Minho."

He patted his shoulder.

"Sleep well, my friend. I've been so very bored, and I want to have fun with you. I'll see you when you wake up."

Minho shook his head, like he could protest against the workings of his own body, of what was happening around him. But there was only so much distress his pounding heart could handle before it gave out altogether. White as a sheet, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, he fainted.

The last thing he saw before the darkness took him into her arms, like a mother cradling her child, was Namjoon's chilly smile.

Reported missing two days after the accident, his case remained unsolved.

💌 taglist: @wonyuknow @imnotlauriane @bucketofhiros @baalsgurl1913 @silv3rswirls @osakis-gf @iceprincessviviane

[augenblicklich-lila]

cod incorrect quotes #8

I went through old stuff I wrote and found a cute one-shot I wrote for Tim Drake (Red Robin) that never got to see the light of day and I lowkey feel bad for it. At the same time, it's from 2018 and I feel unsure about publishing it. I just don't write much anymore and it makes me big sad. I am trying to be nicer to myself about writing though. Love y'all ♡

the usual jazz, mainly Y/N/Reader stuff, platonic and romantic. A sprinkle of Soapghost & Alerudy ♡♡♡

- Lila

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.✭・♛ ♛ （ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ━━✫・*。 ⊂　　 ノ 　　　・゜+. しーーＪ　　　°。+ *´¨)

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.✭・♛

Y/N: Ghost has never seen Star Wars? Soap, the only people in the universe who haven’t seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars and that’s cause they lived them, Soap! That’s cause they lived the Star Wars!

Alejandro: I dare you- Gaz: Y/N is not allowed to accept dares anymore. Rodolfo: Why not? Y/N: "I have no regard for my own or others' personal safety", as some coughs PRICEANDGHOST coughs would say.

König: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY- Y/N: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~ König: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH- Soap, recording: This is so cute. (if we're real, this is also all of us with Ghost lmao)

Y/N: I like to think of myself as a semi-responsible adult here. Gaz: König is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Y/N. König: I feel like Y/N is the more responsible one of us two though. Y/N: We are both 70% of each other's impulse control. König: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.

Rodolfo: Alejandro! What did I tell you about lying? Alejandro, looking down: …That it only works on Graves.

Y/N: When Gaz has daiquiris he gets really into how beautiful he is. Gaz: Hey, I dare you guys to dare us to make out. Rodolfo: Hey Gaz, you know that’s a mirror, right? (fair enough honestly ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Ghost: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are. Y/N: It’s not a joke. Y/N: sniffles Y/N: I’m a legit snack.

Ghost: Adults are the most insanely stupid people I have the displeasure of interacting with. Y/N, referring to themself and Soap: Even us?Ghost: Especially you guys. Soap: Y/N: Soap: Petition to kick Ghost out so he stops insulting us. Y/N: Seconded.

Y/N: Ghost doesn’t deserve you. Y/N: If he doesn't treat you right by now, you're gone. Soap: I'm gone. Y/N: Now go chop his dick off.

Ghost: Where are my fucking keys? Soap: Ghost, Y/N is around, can you say it a little nicer? Ghost: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.✭・♛ 　 ∧＿∧ （｡･ω･｡)つ━☆・*。 ⊂　　 ノ 　　　・゜+. しーＪ　　　°。+ *´¨) “Hie thee home, little wanderer.”

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.✭・♛

[andyling]

Heyyyyy so session 5 sure was a time SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!

BOOGEYMAN 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO WITH TANGO OF THE TEK

Team Ties really woke up and chose violence this session

were they even trying to kill anyone? i think they just wanted chaos

TANGO BOOGEY TWICE IN A ROW HELL YEAH LET’S GO

TEAM BEST FLASHBACKS TEAM BEST FLASHBACKS 

soooo Team Bites hmmm, let’s see how long that lasts

Skizz I’m sorry, but Bdubs betrayed y’all before in Last Life and he sure as hell will do it again

EVERYONE STEALS THE MEAN GILLS’ SUGARCANE LMAO

I think the whole reason Team Ties blew up the bread bridge was because they had too much TNT and all of them are obsessed with blowing shit up

Like they didn’t go for anyone’s actual bases, they weren’t trying to destroy resources, and they weren’t trying to kill anyone

motherfuckers just wanted to make things go boom

AND I AM IN FULL SUPPORT OF THAT WOO GO TEAM TIES

Tango’s toaster PSA caught me so off guard WHO GAVE HIM THAT IDEA?!?!? WHY IS HE LIKE THIS?!?!?

the fact that Tango had already accepted that their tower was gonna get destroyed, mans may be insane but he’s fair that’s for sure

awwwwww them chanting MVP to Etho is so sweet

tango’s the server resident professional warden wrangler now

good to know Tango still remembers every person that’s wronged him

TANGO FINALLY GOT REVENGE ON BDUBS FOR LAST LIFE HAHAHAHA WOOOOOOO ABOUT FUCKING TIME!!!! >:D

also Tango getting an effective trap out of tnt minecarts is character development, good for him! :D

soooo does Tango have the most time out of everyone on the server now?

team bites did not last long askdghajsghkjadkdsak

Nosy Neighbors and Team Ties becoming allies is not something I expected to happen, but it is very welcomed

Team Ties are actually pretty great to have as allies as long as you don’t spite them, then honey you got a big storm coming

THE SATISFACTION I FELT WHEN TANGO BROUGHT UP LAST LIFE TO BDUBS IS IMMESURABLE HELL YEAH BABY REVENGE IS SWEET

Jimmy “sad boi” Solidarity everyone

Love how Jimmy spends most of Limited Life acting as though he’s in a Let’s Play series

mans is in the middle of a death game and he’s like “Alright gang, today we’re getting sheep!”

gotta love how the title for “most antagonistic team on the server” keeps bouncing between the Bad Bois and Team Ties 

Flower Husbands and their never-ending divorce

bye bye bad bois bread bridge

why is Joel specifically blaming Tango akjfjhdkasghkadjs

it’s hilarious how they’re all questioning why Team Ties blew up the bread bridge when the actual answer is probably “they like blowing things up”

no thoughts, head empty, just boom boom

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT GRIAN’S ALLIANCE WITH SKIZZ THAT SEEMS LIKE IT SHOULD BE IMPORTANT IS IT STILL INTACT???

BRUH JIMMY IS SO EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO THAT FROG DO YOU HEAR HIS VOICE GODDAMN

awwww judge judy and executioner jumped to Jimmy that’s cute

PEARL NO

poor judge judy and executioner :(

Grian is so appalled at the carrot cake oh my gosh

GRIAN CALLING THE FROG CONFLICT A SIDE PLOT, THAT’S CANON

dude Grian is so done with everything 

the Bad Bois and the Clockers are family now, this family tree is wack

Scar you can’t call them Boomers when Bdubs was literally on a team called the Boomers on Hermitcraft with Impulse and Tango

AMAZING HOW THE BAD BOIS WENT INTO THE TIES BASE AND JOEL AND JIMMY HAD NO IDEA WHY

this is why we all think Grian’s gonna betray them

GRIAN’S SHEER PANIC WHEN GETTING ATTACKED BY THE ENDERMAN MY MAN WAS LOSING HIS MIND

everyone is so nonchalant about reds this season 

Zombiecleo watches her children make poor decisions for 40 minutes

Cleo packing snacks for Bdubs and Scar and then sending them to be supervised elsewhere is so funny

sending them to Etho was probably not a great idea though considering Team Ties need supervision themselves 

they don’t have any which is why they’re constantly going off the rails

LMAO CLEO OVERHEARD TEAM BITES ENTIRE CONVERSATION

I LOVE THE SUBTITLES THAT CLEO PUTS IN HER VIDEOS THEY’RE SO FUNNY

ooooooooh Bdubs is in troubleeeeee

it really does feel like he’s being scolded by his mother LMAO

Scar really decided to make up a whole ass holiday and not tell anyone else on the server except for his family and only to give them presents

BDUBS WHAT DO YOU MEAN ETHO STARTED SMOKING HELLO???

love how aware Cleo is of whatever the fuck is going on with Bdubs and Etho throughout the life series

THE ENDERMAN ARE REALLY GOING OFF THIS SESSION

honestly i think Cleo dislikes Team Ties because of Etho and Etho specifically, like she seems pretty chill with Tango

“if you’re gonna be an absent father could you at least be absent” GOES SO HARD HOLY SHIT CLEO GO OFF QUEEN

Bdubs is so close to being disowned by his family

CLEO AND SCAR KNOWING FULLY WELL THAT BDUBS IS ABOUT TO BE BOOGEY KILLED AND SAYING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO HIM

whelp Team Bites is dead

THE AWKWARD FAMILY DINNER OH MY FUCKING GOD

“Bdubs, how was your day?” Etho asks fully aware that his teammate blew Bdubs up because of Boogey and a two season long grudge

“This episode is weirder than the one with the fever” IT REALLY IS

ETHO DIDN’T EVEN FLINCH WHEN BDUBS PLACED THAT TNT DOWN MANS JUST CARRYING ON AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED

“wth is this dynamic?” YOU TELL ME CLEO YOU’RE THE ONE PLAYING INTO IT DON’T ACT LIKE YOU AREN’T

mom and dad are fighting

WHY ARE THEY PLAYING CATCH WITH A TNT MINECART WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM 

“sometimes children only learn the hard way” THEY NEVER LEARN

i don’t even think Etho was trying to kill them, all of them are just insane

this is the reason that skizzle didn’t go red first, THIS IS THE REASON

Etho is definitely losing the custody battle

CLEO’S PANIC UPON HEARING SCAR’S ABOUT TO GO RED

i’m getting flashbacks with “the red army rises” goddammit

what the fuck is wrong with Skizz

In conclusion, next session is gonna be WILD

[redstringraven]

in wake of the "don can't cook" post, here're my personal hcs on the boys and cooking (with also @plantdonutwrites addition of why mikey got into cooking lmao).

don: generally not great with cooking due to being spacey/easily distracted/losing track of time. can easily follow a recipe up until it's time to put something in the oven, leave it on the stove, or otherwise let the thing idle for a given amount of time. that's when we enter the danger zone. will forget to take meat out of the freezer to defrost. might set a timer for something, the timer goes off but he's in the middle of working, turns the timer off, says "i'll get it in a minute" and then a half hour later the food is harder than bricks. doesn't "burn water" but will forget he prepped water to boil and return to find that it's all evaporated and he has to start over. might do it a second time.

leo: great cook (sorry, fanon, i can't side with you on this one) and enjoys cooking/general meal-making, especially for his family. finds the process kind of therapeutic and very rewarding. this is one of the bonding activities he does with mikey, actually, and the two of them will often cook together. is the person who might wander around asking "hey, i'm about to make [insert meal] do you want any?" because he prefers cooking for more than just himself. especially enjoys discovering new 'family' recipes, perhaps passed down to him by april, angel, master splinter, or even usagi if earth 2 and 3 ingredients are similar enough to be substituted for. wouldn't surprise me if he asked about recipes during christmas aliens, from the folks who brought food.

mikey: excellent cook. has always been a bit of a foodie but, per jenn: 'he woke up one morning and chose Petty Violence and got really into cooking because he realized humans sometimes have 'a thing' where the people who cook don't have to do the dishes afterward, and doing the dishes is mikey's least favorite chore. so, if he cooks, he doesn't have to do dishes. wound up genuinely loving to cook. i like to think s1 mikey was like "i can scramble eggs!" and post s4 mikey is like "check out this souffle that i set on fire to caramelize and i made homemade mousse whipped cream enjoy".' as previously stated, cooking's become a bonding activity between him and leo, with leo preferring to stick to the recipe and keeping on task/track but mikey being a little more adventurous and willing to experiment and cook intuitively--especially during the times they might be a bit more limited on ingredients. they can make a mean meal together.

raph: can cook, prefers not to. rarely cooks for himself, and when he does cook he dabbles heavily in the "comfort food" and savory foods. when raph cooks, it's usually because someone needs the warm meal. maybe he has a sick brother, a sad friend who needs an old classic pick-me-up, or just senses the vibes are off in the studio today. so, here's the best grilled cheese and tomato soup combo you've ever had. don't ask him how he did it or how he knew what you needed. it's not important. just shut up and eat. you're welcome.

[summerwritesfics]

🏮I’m A Prayer For Your Loneliness, Chapter 1 - And Death Climbs Up The Steps One By One

Pairing: Hanzo Hasashi/Kuai Liang Length: 4835 Words Rating: Mature Warnings: Vampire AU, Vampire!Kuai Liang, Vampire!Hanzo Hasashi, Vampire Hunter!Bi-Han, Vampire!Shang Tsung, Vampire!Quan Chi, Mugging, Assault, Vampire Bites, Vampire Turning, Violence, Blood And Injury, Attempted Biting, Hurt/Comfort, Stabbing, Stabbing Through A Hand, Someone Needs To Give Both Kuai Liang And Bi-Han A Hug TBH

I’m A Prayer For Your Loneliness Masterlist

Notes: It feels like it’s been ages since I posted, but it’s only been like a month tf lmao. Anyway, first fic from the giveaway I did on tumblr, this one for @hellsbellssinclub who asked for a vampire au. You can probably tell from the fact this is chaptered that I plan to continue this haha. Fic title is from “Nymphetamine (Fix)” by Cradle Of Filth, and the chapter title is from “Dig Up Her Bones” by The Misfits.

Kuai Liang groaned, pushing himself off the floor. His arms gave out under him and he fell face down into a puddle. Spitting out a mouthful of disgusting dirty water, he chose instead to shove himself hard enough to flip over onto his back. He gave a pained moan, and stared up at the night sky and edges of the rooftops, trying to remember what happened.

He had an exam coming up in about a week, and had decided a late night study session at the college library would be a good idea. It was about 1am when he finally left, or rather, the tired librarian who just wanted to go home for the night kicked him out. Given how late it was, he wanted to get home as quickly as possible, so had taken a shortcut down the alley he was currently lying in. And then?

Then someone grabbed him from behind. He must have hit his head or something, because he didn’t really remember much after that. Someone attacked him, then he woke up in pain on the floor.

I was mugged. 

He slipped his hand down his jacket, reaching into his pocket in the hopes of checking for his wallet and keys, the only things he’d had with him other than a notebook in his bag. To his surprise, both items were still in place. He pulled out his wallet, even more shocked to find the $10 cash and his debit card were still inside. Oh great, I got mugged by the world’s worst mugger. 

Curiously, he grabbed his book bag, pulling it up to him and flicking it open. His notebook was thankfully still in place, and weirdly he was more relieved at that than he was about his money. His money and bank card could be replaced, those notes had taken him all fucking night, and he was not about to redo them.

He pushed himself to at the very least sit up. His body protested the action at every turn, but Kuai finally managed to get himself up straight. What now? He hadn’t brought his phone with him, so he couldn’t call anyone, not that he knew who to call. Not the police, they were infamously awful in this part of town. Certainly not Bi-Han, big brother would absolutely lose his mind and never let Kuai Liang leave his sight again.

His only real option was to limp home, clean himself up and hope the damage wasn’t too bad.

He supposed the good thing about getting jumped in this particular alley was he wasn’t too far from the apartment. He struggled to stand, but after crawling towards a large dumpster and using it to haul himself off the floor with a lot of effort, he managed to get onto his feet. He was unsteady, but remained upright. He chanced a step, still holding onto the bin, and when that went okay, he tried a second, and another. Eventually he was limping down the alley, clinging to the walls for stability, and making it back onto the sidewalk.

He went as quickly as he could manage, which wasn’t very fast. Every so often he would need to stop and lean against a wall or fence when the pain got too bad or he felt out of breath. Managing to finally get to the apartment building’s front door and slipping inside, he was confronted with the knowledge he had a couple of flights of stairs to get up now. The thought made him want to cry, but he had no other choice. He struggled, holding onto the railings like his life depended on them, but eventually he got to the 2nd floor. As he finally reached his apartment, a wave of relief washed over him.

The second he shut the door behind him, he threw his bag to the floor, followed by his jacket. He didn’t bother turning the light on, and stumbled through the dark towards the bathroom. He wasn’t exactly quiet, but that didn’t matter too much. Bi-Han would still be at work, so he had no fear of his brother finding him like this.

When he entered the bathroom, he finally turned the light on, shutting the door behind himself. He began slipping his clothes off, and went over to their full size mirror in the corner to assess the damage.

He looked a mess, but thankfully it was mostly bruising across his torso and a few scrapes. All easy enough to hide from Bi-Han. The only real problem was a few bruises on his neck and a nasty gash on the side of his forehead. He gingerly reached the gash, it looked like it had bled quite a bit, but hopefully once he’d gotten rid of the blood, it wouldn’t look that bad. He could always bullshit that he accidentally walked into a door or something. Bi-Han would probably believe that. Maybe? 

As for the neck bruises? Well, he could possibly wear a scarf or turtle neck for a couple of days. The more he looked at it however, the more he realised one side of the bruising was darker than the others, and it looked like there was blood. He stepped a little closer to the mirror and moved himself to one side to get a clearer view. He gasped when he realised what he was looking at.

A bite mark.

A fucking bite mark! 

Someone had just fucking assaulted him, and then bitten him!

“Oh god! Gross!” He loudly complained, grimacing both at the sight and the thought at a stranger deciding to have a nibble on his neck. Looking even closer, he realised it seemed to get worse the more he looked at it. The teeth had clearly dug in deep, the wound raw and still bleeding slightly. “Shit, am I going to have to go to the doctors about this?”

He really didn’t want to. He was on Bi-Han’s insurance and he would flip his shit when he got his bill for the month. At the same time, this could be really bad right? With how deep the wound was, it could potentially get infected if he wasn’t careful. Not to mention he was fairly sure there were more than a few diseases that could be transferred via saliva.

“Okay, okay. Calm down.” He rubbed his forehead. “I’ll take a shower, get cleaned up, and sleep on it. If I feel bad tomorrow, I’ll go to the doctors. Otherwise I’ll just keep it clean and hope it clears up on its own.”

That seemed like the best plan. He was sure it was probably just some weirdo, and he didn’t have to worry too much. When he managed to get to the shower, he didn’t really do much more than clean himself up, and let the warm water soothe his aching body. It felt good, but he didn’t want to stay standing up longer than he had to at this point. Soon he was out, drying himself off and making his way to his bedroom. He didn’t even bother turning the light on again, just threw on some sweatpants and a tank top, and let himself flop down onto his bed.

His sleep was anything but restful, nightmares of the attack plaguing his mind.

Things had mostly been fine after he got up in the morning.

He managed to hide the majority of his injuries from Bi-Han, the only one he couldn’t was the gash on his forehead. Surprisingly Bi-Han had accepted his excuse of walking into a door fairly easily, even calling him an idiot for it. Aside from that, he hadn’t really had any issues, except a few aches and pains.

Well. There were two other things, but he was certain they were unrelated.

For some reason, he’d felt extremely itchy all day. Initially he thought it was just his injuries healing, but when he examined the area, there were red rashes over his skin. Even stranger the itching seemed to go away when he kept out of the sun. So… Some sort of weird skin rash? An atypical presentation of Sunburn? He wasn’t sure but he tried to stay in the shade as much as possible after putting the connection together.

The other issue was he was hungry. Which didn’t sound too unusual, but it was impossibly so. He had eaten, and eaten, and eaten, but nothing seemed to fill him up. He’d eaten so much he almost threw up, and even then, he still wanted to eat more. It was really strange. He wasn’t experiencing lightheadedness or any other symptoms, so clearly he wasn’t actually as hungry as he felt.

He’d mostly managed to put it to the back of his mind for the majority of the day. He’d been to college, attended his lectures and even ran a few errands that Bi-Han had texted him about. He felt fine, considering how brutal the night before was.

Now, he was sitting at the breakfast bar in their kitchen, partially watching Bi-Han cook dinner for the both of them on the other side. He had some homework to do, but it wasn’t anything too hard. He could probably get it done before Bi-Han was finished with cooking.

“So, how was college?” Bi-Han absentmindedly asked while cutting up a carrot.

“It was alright,” Kuai replied with a shrug, not really sure what to talk about. “I have an exam coming up next week, so it’s just a lot of cramming at the moment.”

Bi-Han hummed, and then seconds later sucked his breath between his teeth like he was hurt. When Kuai looked up, he could see him holding his hand and grimacing.

“Are you okay?” Kuai put his homework down and clambered over the bar toward his brother.

“Yeah, I just nicked my finger with the knife.” That sounded about right. Bi-Han might have been older, but he was a bit of a disaster when he was in the kitchen.

Bi-Han held up his finger, and there was a small trickle of blood seeping out of the cut. A minor injury at worst. Yet Kuai couldn’t stop staring at it. Something about the crimson red hypnotised him, his breath hitching and mouth watering and all that was going through his mind was how hungry he was.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Bi-Han asked, but Kuai didn’t really comprehend it. Bi-Han reached a hand forward to try and place it on Kuai’s shoulder.

Kuai grabbed Bi-Han’s wrist before he could touch him, and he lurched forward. His mind was blank aside from some fucked up chant of hungry. Aiming for Bi-Han’s jugular, his jaw unhinged as he attempted to sink his teeth into his brother's neck.

Bi-Han’s movements were swift, grabbing the back of Kuai’s neck and wrestling him away. Nothing would stop Kuai however, he was ravenous, and Bi-Han’s blood looked so tasty. He attempted to attack again, only for Bi-han to side step, sweeping his leg and kicking at the back of Kuai’s knees as he did. Kuai fell backwards, groaning as his head collided with the wooden floor. Suddenly, there was a pressure on his chest, and he began to claw at his brother, who was using his entire weight to keep Kuai pinned to the floor.

A hand grabbed his wrist, and seconds later there was a sharp pain in his palm.

His head snapped over, finding the same knife Bi-Han had been using minutes ago, stabbed straight through his hand and into the floor below, keeping it trapped.

Kuai hiccuped. Bi-Han stabbed me! 

It was like all control suddenly returned to him after being controlled by an outside force. He looked towards his brother, still sitting over Kuai’s chest and panting to catch his breath. Bi-Han had stabbed him, but only because Kuai had attacked him first. But why? Why did I attack Bi-Han? All he remembered was seeing the blood and that hunger he’d felt all day took over.

He sobbed, “what’s happening to me?”

Bi-Han stared at him, before reaching for the neckline of Kuai’s sweater. He pulled it down, revealing the bite mark from the day before. Hissing loudly, Bi-Han’s heavy breathing only worsened, baring his teeth in anger.

“When did this happen?” He demanded, and Kuai whimpered at the harsh tone. “Kuai Liang, when did this happen?”

“Last night,” he admitted quietly, wanting nothing more than to curl up into a ball. “I didn’t want to worry you.”

Bi-Han made a frustrated sound, screwing his face up. He took hold of the knife, before roughly yanking it out of Kuai’s hand, causing him to howl at the action. Before he could ask what was going on, he felt Bi-Han grab his shirt and pull him to his feet. He quickly realised he was being dragged across the room, towards the door.

“Wh-Where are we going?” Kuai held his bleeding hand to his chest. Most likely the hospital right? Clearly something was wrong with Kuai, and maybe a doctor could help.

“We’re going to cash in a favour,” Bi-Han mumbled miserably, before opening the door and pushing Kuai out of the apartment.

There was no other explanation, just Bi-Han silently and firmly guiding Kuai down to his car.

The silence was suffocating.

Bi-Han had not spoken a word since they’d left the apartment, and Kuai had lost track of how long they’d been in the car. Kuai’s mind was reeling. He couldn’t comprehend what had happened to lead them to this point. Attacking his own brother? Why had he even done that? He looked down at his bleeding hand. He was lucky Bi-Han had only done that, rather than outright slit his throat.

“Bi-han,” he whispered, screwing his eyes shut and not wanting to see his brother’s face right now. He couldn’t handle the disappointment Bi-Han no doubt felt. “I’m sorry.”

“This isn’t your fault,” Bi-han muttered, sounding like he was trying his best to be reassuring but falling just a bit flat. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Kuai was silent, but eventually replied “I didn’t think it was that bad.”

“Have you noticed anything else since it happened?” Bi-Han sounded like he knew something Kuai didn’t. Opening his eyes again, he could see his brother had a focused look on his face, his hands gripping the steering wheel a little too tightly.

“I- I don’t know?” Kuai thought back to the rash and hunger. Could they be related? “I’ve had a rash since it happened. And I feel so hungry, but nothing I eat seems to help.”

“Does the rash come when you’ve been in direct sunlight?” Bi-Han asked, and it cemented in Kuai’s mind that he knew what was happening.

“Yes.” He tried to gauge his brother’s reaction, but there was none. “What-“

“We’re here.” Bi-Han slammed his foot on the brake and Kuai was thankful he’d put his seatbelt on as it stopped him from being thrown forward and into the dashboard.

Before Kuai could question anything, Bi-Han was throwing open the door and getting out of the car. Kuai scrambled to the door handle, pushing it open and following suit. When he looked around, he found they were in front of a very ornate looking mansion in the middle of the forest. Kuai had seen it from a distance before when he explored as a teenager, but he’d never been close enough to realise just how big it was.

He felt Bi-Han grab his arm, pulling him along to the front door. Slamming down the large knocker, Kuai flinched at the bangs. Seconds later, the door opened, and a man peered out at them, narrowing his eyes at Bi-Han.

“I need to talk to Lord Hasashi,” Bi-Han announced, actually pushing his way past the man.

Kuai was dragged into the house, even as the man tried to object to the intrusion. Bi-Han didn’t care however, and strangely seemed to know where he was going. Eventually they walked into a room, where a tall man wearing a yellow waistcoat was standing and talking to another man.

The man in the waist coat looked displeased by the interruption as he questioned “what do you want Bi-Han?”

“I need your help,” Bi-Han replied, stopping a short gap from the man. Kuai could feel the grip on his arm tighten.

“I don’t see why I should, if you’re going to be rude about it,” the man dismissed, waving a hand as he did. “You know I don’t appreciate surprise visits. Especially surprise visits where you barge in like you own the place.”

“You owe me, remember?” Bi-Han’s fingers dug into Kuai’s arm painfully, pushing down exactly on one of the bruises. “I turn a blind eye to your little operation here, and you assist me as I request.”

The man regarded this for a couple of seconds, before rolling his eyes. “Fine. What do you require help with?”

“This is my brother, Kuai Liang.” Bi-Han pushed Kuai forward ever so slightly. “This is Lord Hanzo Hasashi,” Bi-Han told Kuai, finally letting go of him. “Show him your neck.”

Kuai didn’t understand what was happening, and Hanzo’s gaze was suffocating. Still, with his non-injured hand, he reached for the neckline of his sweater and pulled it down slightly. Somehow, Hanzo’s face immediately softened.

“Sit down,” he gently instructed, gesturing to a couch behind him. Kuai went and perched on the edge, as Hanzo sat beside him, hands immediately going to Kuai’s neck to examine the bite. “When and how did this happen?”

Kuai’s eyes flicked to Bi-Han, who nodded to encourage him to speak.

“Last night.” Kuai winced as a finger pressed down against the wound. “I don’t… really remember how. Someone attacked me from behind, and I think I passed out.”

Hanzo’s eyes flicked over to Bi-Han, “has he fed?”

“He tried to, but was not successful.” Bi-Han rubbed the front of his neck, where Kuai had attempted to bite into him.

“Go get a blood pack,” Hanzo ordered to the man he’d previously been talking to, who bowed at the request and walked away. Hanzo returned his attention towards Kuai again, eyes looking down at his bloody hand. “Did that happen last night too?”

“No. Before we came.” Kuai lowered his head in shame, he still couldn’t believe what had happened. “I tried to hurt Bi-Han, and he stabbed me.”

“What happened before you attacked him?” Hanzo asked, now reaching to bring Kuai’s hand to have a closer look. “Was he bleeding, by any chance?”

“He cut his finger.” Pain blossomed through his hand as Hanzo’s fingers explored the wound. Kuai jumped and pulled his hand away. “I- I don’t know what happened, all I could think when I saw the blood was how hungry I was.”

Hanzo looked at him sympathetically, but before he could say anything the other man had returned, a blood pack in his hand. Kuai wasn’t sure what they were going to do with it. Hanzo took it off him, cracking it open before holding it out to Kuai Liang. His mouth salivated at the thought of it, but he didn’t go to take it.

Hanzo sighed, shuffling forward slightly. He placed the opening of the pack into Kuai’s open mouth, before squeezing it. Blood surged into Kuai’s mouth, causing him to gasp. While some part of his mind screamed that this was wrong, he could not deny how good the blood tasted as it coated his tongue. He began to suck at the pack, eager to get more of that sweet liquid into his mouth. The more he swallowed, the more he realised that hunger he’d felt all day was beginning to fade.

Eventually, there was no blood left, Kuai having drank every drop he was offered. As the pack was pulled out of his mouth, the horror at what he’d done hit him. He threw his hands over his mouth, nausea bubbling in his stomach.

“W-What is wrong with me?” He cried, looking between Bi-Han and Hanzo, desperate for some sort of answer to why this was happening to him. “Am I diseased? Am I going to die?”

Hanzo made a pained sound, reaching to grab Kuai’s hands.

“Oh, Kuai Liang. I’m so sorry, but… You are already dead.”

A cold washed over Kuai. “What do you mean?”

“The person who attacked you was a vampire,” Hanzo explained and Kuai almost did a double take. He was far too old to believe things like vampires existed. And yet, somehow, that would explain so much of what was happening to him. “And during their attack, they killed and turned you.”

“You mean I’m a-“ Kuai trailed off, remembering Bi-Han’s reaction to everything. He turned to look at his brother. “D-Did you know?”

“Father tried to keep this life away from you.” Bi-Han cleared his throat, looking down at the floor to avoid eye contact. “We come from a long line of vampire hunters, but neither Father or I wanted that life for you.” Bi-Han gestured to Hanzo. “Lord Hasashi is a vampire lord, but as he tries to be ethical about his feeding, using blood donors rather than hunting, we allowed him and his brood to stay in the area.”

Kuai’s head was spinning, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“What was it you wanted from me, Bi-Han?” Hanzo suddenly asked, squeezing Kuai’s hands slightly. “Because I doubt you came all this way just to feed him.”

“I need you to keep him safe.” Bi-Han stepped forward, taking Kuai’s face in his hands. “I know how dangerous this world is for vampires. I don’t want him to live in fear.” He pushed their foreheads together. “He did not deserve this.”

“We rarely do,” Hanzo agreed, thumb stroking along Kuai’s knuckles. Kuai felt his heart race at such an intimate gesture from a stranger.

“And… I need to find out who did this.” Bi-Han pulled away, but did not let go of Kuai’s face. “I need your help to find the son of a bitch who sired him.”

“The thought occurs that this could have been a targeted attack.” Hanzo placed a hand on his chin, looking deep in thought. “You have likely made enough enemies in your time as a hunter. Ones who would not hesitate to use your brother as leverage against you.”

“That does not narrow it down by much,” Bi-Han mumbled, letting go of Kuai and walking away. “But until I can figure it out, I need you to keep an eye on him.”

“Wait,” Kuai finally chimed in. He still couldn’t believe what was going on, and maybe he was focusing on the wrong things but he couldn’t help but see a problem. “What about college? If I suddenly stop going, it’s going to seem suspicious. And I have exams coming up!”

The last part likely seemed petty to both of the other men in the room, but it was important to Kuai. He’d been studying so hard, he didn’t want that work to go to waste.

“We’ll help you call in for an extension based on ill health,” Hanzo assured him. “Just until we find your sire. But even when you return, you will have to take night classes.”

“That rash you mentioned,” Bi-Han took over, turning back to Kuai Liang. “That is how the sun sensitivity starts. Eventually it’ll get to a point where being in the sun will outright burn your skin. It won’t kill you, but it will be extremely painful.”

“I will also need to teach you how to curb your hunger.” Hanzo pushed himself to stand and went to join Bi-Han’s side. “Otherwise whenever you see even so much as the smallest amount of blood, you will go into attack mode.”

Kuai grimaced at that. He was very lucky he hadn’t hurt Bi-Han earlier, he hated the idea that he could hurt anyone else, even accidentally. He looked between the two men, feeling guilty and pathetic regarding his situation.

“I’m never going to live a normal life again, am I?”

The question lingered in the air, causing Kuai to bow his head in shame. He should have never gone to the library. He definitely should not have gone down the alley. He’d ruined his own life in seconds with a few stupid decisions.

“Kuai Liang, listen to me,” Bi-Han’s voice called to him. A pair of hands brought his face up again. “This was not your fault. I should have known that eventually you’d have been in danger. Father should have taught you how to defend yourself. I should have taught you to defend yourself.” Bi-Han’s face screwed up like he was in pain. “We failed you.”

“Don’t say that,” Kuai whispered, hating how devastated his voice sounded. “You didn’t…”

“I will find who did this to you,” Bi-Han firmly declared. “I will find them, and I will make them pay. They will never harm you again. No one will.”

“Bi-Han…” His brother pulled away once again.

“You should look into your recent jobs,” Hanzo told Bi-Han, patting his shoulder a couple of times. “It might help us thin out the suspect list.” He then turned to Kuai and held out a hand. “Let’s fix up your hand, and then I can make up a room for you, Kuai Liang.”

Kuai nodded, taking Hanzo’s hand and allowing himself to be pulled until he was standing.

He made eye contact with Bi-Han one last time as his brother said, “I will be back soon.”

“Bye big brother.” Kuai waved him goodbye, before turning to follow Hanzo further into the house.

“Well, this is a frustrating turn of events.”

Shang Tsung watched in the vision as Lord Hasashi sat Kuai Liang down on a bed, cleaning and tending to the wound in his hand. He was being so gentle with the younger vampire. Shang Tsung scowled like there was poison in his mouth. That should have been him tending to Kuai Liang, not Hasashi. He didn’t like to think he was a jealous person, but something about this situation was proving him wrong.

“I suppose we know how Hasashi has avoided being hunted for so long now,” Quan Chi chimed up, waving his hand and making the vision disappear. “And I did say we should have accounted for Bi-Han potentially having allies.”

Shang Tsung shot him a glare. Given how ruthless Bi-Han was, how much of a lone wolf he was even amongst other hunters, he had no reason to think he’d have anyone to turn to. He’d hoped that desperation would have led Bi-Han to seek out assistance, at which point the deadly alliance would have swooped in to assist. To help poor confused Kuai Liang acclimate to being a vampire.

If he’d known this would be the result, he’d have never left the brat in the alley.

He needed a new plan, one that would swing things back around to their favour. The search for Kuai Liang’s sire would no doubt eventually lead back to them. He needed to find a way to intercept before the connection could be made. Misdirect the investigation in a way that would bring both brothers to heel. Preferably one that would eliminate the threat Hanzo Hasashi presented also.

An idea came to his mind.

He chuckled to himself, the plan forming might be difficult to pull off, but if they were successful? Then he’d have both brothers exactly where he wanted them.

“What’s so funny?” Quan Chi questioned, raising an eyebrow as Shang Tsung’s laughter got louder.

“Oh, just a thought that it’d be such a shame if after putting so much trust in Hanzo, that it turned out that he was Kuai Liang’s sire.” He intently watched Quan Chi’s face, hoping he’d understand his meaning. Thankfully, it did not take long for the other vampire to begin smirking back.

“Ah. Well. If that were the case…” Quan Chi waved his hand again, conjuring a new vision. One that showed Kuai Liang being attacked in the alley by none other than Lord Hasashi himself. “It would surely be our duty as concerned bystanders to inform Bi-Han of such a betrayal?”

Shang Tsung lent forward, watching as the vision of Hasashi sunk his teeth into Kuai Liang’s neck. He licked his fangs, memories of blood rushing into his mouth surfacing, how cold Kuai’s skin got as the life was drained from his body. In the vision, Kuai’s eyes rolled back, body going limp before Hasashi threw him to the floor.

Even knowing it was nothing but a lie, it was a very convincing deception indeed.

“And with a vision such as this, who is he to deny it as truth?”

Both men burst into triumphant laughter. Actually, this worked out better than it would have otherwise. They’d get both Kuai Liang and Bi-Han’s trust, just as initially intended, while taking out the region's most powerful vampire lord in the process.

Shang Tsung loved when a plan came together.

[summercourtship]

Um… hi Kyra! Be prepared bcs this will be a long one…

So, I finished KCU about four months ago, and let me just say that I think it’s a masterpiece, everything about it is perfect, one part in particular that I loved was how relatable the reader was (Believe it when I say it, it is HARD to do that, especially when you don’t know WHO is reading) I could definitely see myself doing exactly what she was doing! I loved how possessive Kylo Ren was and how he as also extremely conflicted about the reader herself, you managed to portray his turmoil really well! A part that BROKE me was when Leia was talking about how he got his soulmate phrase… Damn… you’re telling me this kid, that already thought of himself as a monster, was super happy that he HAD a soulmate, because that was a confirmation that he could be good and be loved unconditionally by someone, only to have his hopes CRUSHED when HIS MOTHER read to him what it said???!!!! DAAAANNGGG GIRL!!! You woke up and chose violence!!!!

But anyway, let’s get to the point that I wanted to get… ahem… if you’re comfortable… AND ONLY IF YOU’RE COMFORTABLE… (if not, ignore this part all together) I wanted to know if you have plans to continue it, i have been searching in your profile (stalking) for a reason why you stopped(not that i am obligated to have one!!) and the only thing i could find was that you stoped writing for KCU was bcs you felt that people wanted to end in a certain way and you didn’t (I could be wrong btw it has been a long time since I saw it) and that’s so sad! BUT I am really happy with the chapters we have! I love re-reading them! In the end you should put yourself first, if it’s not making you happy then you should not stress about it!

Also… if you don’t have any plans for it… I think it would be really cool if showed some BTS! I saw the other ask saying the same thing about STBOTDI (amazing fic btw) and i thought “hey it would be pretty neat if she did it for KCU too!” so if you’re feeling generous, feed this starving woman?

Anyway! thanks for listening to my rant! Thats all Folks

oh, kingdom come undone, my beloved. thank you so much for your kind words- it's been a while since I've looked back on KCU. I'm pretty sure I cackled when planning the part with Kylo's soulmark and the revelation about how it appeared because it's so sad lmao.

I do have plans to continue it, eventually. I want to go back and edit earlier chapters (and truly EDIT them, like overhaul level of editing) because I want to put it back on track to the vision I had for it originally. A big part of why I kinda fell out of love with writing it is because I felt like there was going to be a lot of people upset that I didn't make "Ben Solo" happen because fuck that shit, I like Kylo Ren bc he's a piece of shit who is sad sometimes not because he's an uwu soft baby who made a lil mistake.

But also, I started writing it in a really hard time- I had been dealing with extreme isolation due to both COVID and some things that happened with my friend group that ended up separating me from them (I had my family and I'm very grateful but there were months before I returned home from my college apartment because I wanted to be independent and believed it wasn't that bad and ended up just... not coping well with that, I'm afraid). I started planning KCU when I was in Pennsylvania for my grandmother's funeral and was writing it while dealing with extreme anxiety and depression combined with the struggles of being on different medications. So, while I do hold KCU in my heart and I love it, I do view it as a time capsule and know that I was writing it to distract myself from and cope with the shit I was dealing with. All of that makes it hard for me to go back to it because it feels very vulnerable, even if it doesn't come through in the text. I don't know if that makes sense.

BUT yes, I would love to one day go back, give it some TLC, and finally finish it for you all. I don't know if I have any BTS I could share right now because I really want to sit down with it and fix it, but once I'm comfortable with the state it is in, I will share.

Thank you so much. <3

[allkinds-oftrash]

The Crown S5E6 Commentary

Non Spoiler Thoughts: Not going to lie, this was a hard episode to get through because aside from the horrors of what happened to the Romanovs, it was a pretty dry episode and extremely filler. If you’re going to have a filler episode, at least make it as compelling as Mou Mou was. This was just pulling teeth. Maybe it’s just me. If you are into Russian history and the odd connection between Penny and Phillip, this one is for you. I just personally didn’t care for it because I wasn’t interested in the Yeltsin of it all, I only felt pain for the Romanovs and Elizabeth and Phillip having a weird marriage issue well into their 70s was odd to watch the least. If you do end up getting bored half way through the episode, feel free to skip it, you aren’t missing much. 

Spoilers Under The Cut: 

Okay so this is the Russian episode why am I not surprised they added in a mass murder scene in the cold open

I dunno if I can stomach the scene so I'm skipping it in my commentary heads up. I am watching the lead up to it though this should be interesting

Why does this man have a whole parrot on his shoulder lmao I'm cackling

Yekaterinaberg oh god I wanna cry Don't open the door bub DON'T Oh god this is heartbreaking knowing what's to come Peter Morgan woke up and quite literally chose violence huh

This man is so shady WHY do you need photographs of them Ohmygod the comrades were sick for this "The photographers will be here any minute" THIS ISN'T THE SHOOTING THEY EXPECTED FUCK I HATE THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Okay I'm skipping this bit

Fuck I caught bits of it DAMN PETER MORGAN YOU WERE FOUL FOR INTERWEAVING THE WINDSORS HUNTING WHILE THE ROMANOVS WERE BEING HUNTED I hate it hereeee oh fuck oh fuck that last shot of the pheasant and then the Romanovs??? I'm sick. I'll give Peter props for knowing how to elicit a strong and visercal reaction. Whoever edited this I wanna give them a hug that was brutal even tho I skipped most of it

Ngl this episode is kinda boring - great cold open for invoking such a strong response from me but god I do not care for the 90s Russian politics. Imma just embrace hot John Major to get through this episode lmao

Oooh wait Lizzy and Philly be having marriage problems okay maybe there will be drama in this after all Penny where are you Oh hello there you are!

I'm sorry it's been 6 eps and I'm still not into Johnathan Pryce as Phillip. The voice and mannerisms are just so off.

Damnnn Martin is such a GILF; like all iterations of Martin have been so hot for what. I apologise for the thirst yall I'm just bored with this ep - the hot men are gonna get me through it

Not Yeltsin sucking up to her 🤡🤡 OH HE ORDERED FOR THE HOUSE TO BE DEMOLISHED They did, they really did deserve a proper burial Not me getting emotional over the Romanovs I'm just here for the silver foxes and the my bleeding heart for the Romanovs

Not Yeltsin shit talking Lizzie in Russian this is so funny shkdksk Holy shitt not the bayonet threat OH GOD THAT POOR TRANSLATOR His face though omg I love this dude the utter embarrassment and guilt over lying to her - iconic performance

Oofie did not expect these flashbacks I am literally going to be sick I hate it hereeee

This episode is so hard to watch - other than the horrifying bits with the Romanovs it's just boring

Oooh DNA match testing interesting.

There are some moments I can see Johnathan as Phillip but then also not sighhhh I dunno why it bugs me so much jdjdd He just sticks out as a sore thumb compared to the other on-point casting

Penny you're gassing him up too much "You are the key. Your DNA unlocked the mystery" LMAO this sounds like a parody of a lyric from Anastasia dhkdkdi I wanna say he won't fuck her just cos she keeps hyping him up but we know he's going to hdkdjk

Penny is so cute what a science nerd This is getting philosophical lmaooo Peter Morgan what were you on writing this ep Philip's hobbies every season just get funnier pls first carriage riding and now this Russian obsession Lizzie is so hopeful about this visit

Babes engagements and tours aren't going to fix marriages why do you keep doing this

More standalone eps need to be more like Mou Mou. My eyes keep glazing over for this one. I'm tempted to skip this tbh but I know the FOMO will drive me insane sndkdkd so I am going to grin and bear it for the next 25 mins

I will say seeing the Russian practices and culture is interesting! Just the way the ep was framed and shot makes it dull in the grand scheme of the season

Not this man saying I gave up so much marrying you bruhhhh this is S1 shit how are you not over this 🤡🤡 This is so funny I can't even So childish Yall are in your 60s please calm down you're gonna die together

"Companionship" K Philly K Godson's wife,,, yeah that makes it sound gross It's still a emotional affair Philip!! What is going onnnn not him asking her to legitimize their "friendship" this is so weird. Why are stuffy British people like this dhdjjdd

Lmaoooo Lizzie you're almost 70!! Don't be naiveee just like you, your grandparents did nothing and now the Romanovs are gone Wtf Mary did you regret not doing jackshit?? Just awful awful

Either way political or personal reasons, it was a horrific thing the Romanovs went through Goood Mary feel the devastation

Lizzie's thinly veiled threats and condescension is a whole art I cannot

Oooh everyone is here for Christmas fun things

Lmaooo John Major finally slipping into his role as Lizzie's therapist along with marriage counselling 🤡🤡

This was a cute scene just Lizzie and Phillip coexisting

But ultimately a whole lot of nothing filler episode and it wasn't even an entertaining filler

[bahrbae]

hot take ahead on barbie (2023) INCLUDING SPOILERS

i  don't  think  barbie  is  about  feminism.  in  this  essay  i  will...

but  no,  really.  according  to  the  cambridge  dictionary,  feminism  is  "the  belief  that  women  should  be  allowed  the  same  rights,  power,  and  opportunities  as  men  and  be  treated  in  the  same  way,  or  the  set  of  activities  intended  to  achieve  this  state".  nowhere  in  the  movie  does  it  show  any  character  wanting  to  become  part  of  the  feminist  movement.  i  want  to  emphasize  that  feminism  is  about  being  treated  the  same  way,  including  women  having  the  same  rights  as  men.  barbie  isn't  a  feminist.  neither  is  ken.  don't  even  get  me  started  about  the  elf  of  the  shelf  aka  mattel's  ceo.

everytime  i  go  on  youtube  i  get  bombarded  (due  to  the  algorithm  i  created  lmao)  with  barbie  videos  and  how  everyone  talks  about  feminism  or  anti-feminism  for  that  matter.  and  from  a  sociological  point  of  view  (i  missed  using  this  fancy  term),  it  shows  how  individuals  will  see/hear  exactly  what  they  are  looking  for  -  they  will  see/hear  everything  that  goes  along  or,  on  the  contrary,  what  contradicts  their  own  set  of  beliefs  that  they  had  before  watching  the  movie.  if  someone  was  looking  for  feminism,  they  will  look  at  all  the  signs  for  women  rights  in  barbieland  being  equal  to  men  rights  in  the  real  world.  or,  vice  versa,  if  someone  was  looking  for  anti-feminism,  they  will  look  at  how  all  male  dolls  were  treated  (that  includes  the  kens,  allan/s  and  all  the  other  dolls  too  as  long  as  they  fall  into  the  masculine  gender).

but  let's  break  down  the  feminism  definition  to  prove  this  point.  my  archnemesis  emile  durkheim  said  that  "the  totality  of  beliefs  and  sentiments  common  to  average  members  of  the  same  society  forms  a  particular  system  that has  its  own  life;  one  might  call  it  the  collective  or  common  consciousness".  in  that  sense,  beliefs  become  part  of  a  group  (or  subgroup)  if  they  are  agreed  upon  by  a  majority.  the  term  women  is  too  broad,  so  instead  i  will  use  another:  individuals  who  identify  with  femininity  (this  is  still  skewed  since  it  doesn't  cover  that  much  ground  on  all gender  identities,  but  hopefully  it's  enough  to  make  the  point).  the  rest  of  the  quote  in  the  beginning  basically  agrees  upon  all  genders  having  equal  rights,  power  and  opportunities  in  a  society.  to  limit  this  even  further,  it  means  no  discrimination  whatsoever,  regarding  any  aspect  of  one's  life  and  activity  in  a  society.

this  brings  me  back  to  the  barbie  movie.  the  movie  isn't  about  matriarchy  vs  patriarchy.  from  an  empirical  point  of  view  (and  it  was  hard  to  do  that  bc  i  adore  the  actors/actresses  and  the  dolls),  the  movie  can  be  considered  at  the  very  most  satirical.  barbieland  was  ruled  by  matriarchy  until  the  kens  overthrown  that  government.  but  the  barbies  did  manipulate  the  situation  so  that  they  could  take  the  power  again.  in  the  end,  the  barbies  said  they  will  allow  some  positions  for  the  kens,  but  definitely  not  something  important,  suggesting  that  they  couldn't  face  it.  that  isn't  feminism.  it's  not  about  equal  rights.  it's  exactly  what  we  see  in  societies.  let  the  minority  think  they  won  something  when  in  fact,  you  don't  give  them  at  the  very  least  the  bare  minimum.

i  woke  up  and  chose  violence.  but  this  is  my  hot  take  on  the  sociological  aspects  of  the  movie.  i'm  oh  so  tempted  to  make  an  actual  paper  including  the  political  but  that'd  mean  someone  will  have  to  read  about  30  pages  in  word.  and  i  feel  sorry  for  that  person  already.

[caffeine-clouds]

Loved the new chapter, good god you really woke up and chose violence. They were on a silly date being dorks and then you just made Shadow take the biggest L in this one lmao.

Just to be clear it emotionally hurt me a lot, but I already ranted about it on ao3 so lmao

Love your writing lol

Awww, thank you! Pfff - you'll find that I have a habit of choosing violence sometimes, it's fun. I knowww - things were looking up but then they plummeted right back down. But you know what that means? There's no other way to go but up... right? HSRUIGIBBFOSIUG my bad! Yesss, I saw your comment - nice to see you here too <3. I promise things are getting better very soon!! But seriously - thank you so much for the kind words. It means a lot to me :)

[wndaswife]

What the HELL is going on with these anons dude like why are y’all so mad over everyone calling a writer out? They were rightfully held accountable for things they posted and supported or much rather showed their lack of support but like what? Why are these anons protecting and justifying terfy behaviour? Y’all just really woke up and decided to chose violence hey? Well, news flash it just makes you look trashy 🤷🏼‍♀️

n i can’t believe they really said “if we’re terfs so be it”

like okaaay lmao

[papirouge]

I hate seeing positivity post for males and i'm glad you agree as a christian woman 😭 i don't like being mean to anyone but seriously why do we need to see those positivity posts in a female-dominated website lmao are men on reddit or 4chan making female positivity posts? no, they aren't

seriously ill always say it but men don't need defending like aren't they supposed to be the leaders and strong and stoic? some of these men getting their feelings hurt because a teenage feminist said men are ugly and stinky i can't stands these weak ass dudes.

in fact, shouldn't it be males the ones defending women since theyre supposedly our protectors? that's not only for the extremely unlikely scenario of a lion or wolf intruding the house but in general.

the incredible thing is that i know it's not natural things got like this. in the animal kingdom males do the most for female attention, even endangering their lifes for it. males fight other males sometimes to permanent injury or death just to get a crumb of pussy yet males here think it's too much to take a woman on a coffee date and her not putting out i can't with this cringe ass fallen world.

You rightfully pointed out the irony in conservative/trad space that won't shut up about how male need to be left space to express their masculinity.......while babying them like there's no tomorrow. You want protector? Treat men as such and rise your expectations about what they can do for you - not the opposite.

"Oh look Hollywood is making a mockery of white men 🥺" why are you, Stacy, telling this to ME? A (Black) woman. That's White men struggle. And funnily enough, the same Hollywood execs writing and validation those scripts demeaning White men are ALSO White men..so I really don't understand the pathetic anti white conspiracy cope many White conservatives & contrarians entertain these days...

They are the ones making fun of black people killing/harming each other in gang violence, baby mama culture, and constantly they are we're too stupid to sort that shit out by ourselves because that's our problem - and tbh that's fair. But when the same phenomenon of self harm that White people do, with White Hollywood getting off ridiculing white/straight men... suddenly there's an anti white conspiracy and it's EVERYONE'S problem. Nope. I'll let the White men sort that shit out. And I don't wanna hear them play victim when other demographics make fun of them because they themselves have no issue making fun of non white demographics cannibalizing themselves 💁🏾‍♀️

I always said 99% of the woke panic was sanctioned by cis straight White men themselves. Conservatives/anti woke are just too stupid or dishonest to realize that. Who vote those laws? Who are the CEO of the biggest movie or entertainment companies? Aren't they straight white men?

And we (non whites) are supposed to insert themselves in that catfight and defend white men from.... themselves??

And no offense but I'm EXTREMELY wary of comparing human relationship dynamics to animals. That's extremely reductive and dumb imo. We are not animals, we are humans. And what's bothering me especially is how everyone doing it picks and chose what's convenient for their point while ignoring the gazillions other models in the animal kingdom refuting their point.

I understand why you talk about wolves though bc incels/moids LOVE using them as behavioral model, so I actually think it's clever to use it up against them lol They wouldn't survive one day if human relationship where like wolves though. Wolves aren't there watching porn and harassing women (online). They would be bored to death.

[wolfofcelestia]

Aging myself a bit here lol but I woke up with Breaking Benjamin in my head and started losing my mind when I started making connections to the HFL

So basically, my brain woke up and chose violence

You're so cold / Keep your hand in mine

Hazuki (weak to heat) to Nikkari (weak to cold). Nikkari often feels cold to the touch to Hazuki and it's a habit of theirs to hold hands so she can warm his hands in hers

Show me how it ends, it's alright

Nikkari to Hazuki during the raid

Show me how defenseless you really are

Nikkari to Hazuki during the raid. Said sarcastically to egg her on because he knows she's burning with as much anger as he is

Satisfied and empty inside

A physical love isn't enough. For either of them.

That's alright, let's give this another try

We're not there yet :)

If you find your family / Don't you cry In this land of make believe / Dead and dry

Nikkari to Hazuki. Either about her actual family when she dies or her new sword family when she rebuilds

You're so cold / But you feel alive

Hazuki to Nikkari. An impossible wish as he's dying

Lay your hands on me / One last time

Nikkari to Hazuki

uh

It's alright / It's alright / It's alright / It's alright It's alright / It's alright / It's alright / It's alright It's alright / It's alright / It's alright / It's alright It's alright / It's alright / It's alright / It's alright

Welp

_(:3 」∠)_

And then autoplay gave me Give Me a Sign next and that entire song is basically just the both of them wanting to help each other but can't beCAUSE ON E OF THEM IS DEAD

_(:3 」∠)_

Alternatively, this could also be Shoku trying to snap Hazuki out of her depression after the raid because you know she's gonna be fucked up to the moon after losing Nikkari

I can feel you falling away No longer the lost / No longer the same And I can see you starting to break I'll keep you alive / If you show me the way

Shoku to Hazuki. He's doing his best to keep Hazuki from going off the deep end, but he's just as lost as she is

Forever and ever / The scars will remain I'm falling apart / Leave me here forever in the dark

Hazuki. Both physical and emotional scars. But if it's about the physical scars, they will always remind her of Nikkari, making her want to fall deeper and deeper into her own, familiar darkness.

Take this life / Empty inside I'm already dead / I'll rise to fall again

Hazuki. "I'll rise to fall again" = she's lost her family before and after picking herself up to create another family in the citadel, she loses it all again to the raid.

Dead star shine / Light up the sky I'm all out of breath / My walls are closing in Days go by / Give me a sign Come back to the end / The shepherd of the damned

Hazuki as she's lying on the citadel floor covered in Nikkari's blood and holding the cold hand of his corpse. She stays there, unmoving, until the sun comes up in her broken citadel where the walls are literally closing in on her. It feels like days passed by and she wishes for the government agents to come back and kill her too

Then there's Anthem of the Angels:

Days go on forever, But I have not left your side We can chase the dark together, If you go then so will I There is nothing left of you, I can see it in your eyes I keep holding onto you, But I can't bring you back to life

Definitely all Hazuki to Nikkari. But could be Shoku to Hazuki as well

I feel like I could go on with a lot of BB's songs since I'm just letting autoplay go on lmao. But I'm listening to Without You and Until the End, and there's a lot of ShokuSani here in terms of HFL's plot but we haven't reached those parts yet

(ʘ‿ʘ✿)

I usually listen to instrumental metal and grunge while writing but BB may as well be the soundtrack of the raid at this point because of how emo it is lmao

The theme here seems to be Shoku -> Hazuki -> -> -> Nikkari (dead lol) just after the raid.

It's only later that it becomes Shoku -> -> <- <- Hazuki.

Before the raid, I think it would be more like

Hazuki -> -> <- <- Nikkari (alive but they're both dumb af)

Hazuki -> Shoku

[definitelynotsiffrin]

Woke up today and chose violence it seems

that's almost 4k words in an evening

I didn't even PLAN on a fic i just really wanted to write about these two and something took over me

so uh

spicynoodles fic coming soon? I guess? it's probably gonna be either a one shot or a 2 part fic cause i literally had NO plans i just jumped in and i dont know for how long i can pull that off lmao

but uh

taking care of a sick mk fic ig

:D