#mainly because I just wrote that line and started laughing

[lailuhhh]

Whump writers be like

a small trickle of blood from their hairline—

[crimeronan]

i've seen a couple people in the notes of this very good post about fictional polyamory by @thebibliosphere say things along the lines of "oh, i've been doing it wrong :(" or "how do i know if i did this right??" or "i should probably give up and start over, i wrote this badly :(" and. no!!!!

(i AM seeing far MORE people say "oh, this clarified and helped me so much, i think i know how to fix issues i've been having with my own story" which. YES!!!!)

listen. if you're a monogamous person who's writing a polyamorous relationship, and you've been focusing mainly on The Triad and All Three Together All The Time as the endgame, that's literally fine. that's a perfectly acceptable and strong starting point for your plotting, imo. you do not need to give up on a story that you've started like this.

but the things discussed in the post Can and Should improve your execution!

you can keep the same plot beats and overall relationship arc 100%. polyamorous relationships are infinite in their formations, every one is unique. "basically a monogamous romance but with three people" Does exist, as a relationship type. you're not hashtag Misrepresenting (TM) poly people with it

BUT i do think it will help to read up on some poly people talking about how their relationships Differ from monogamous ones.

so i have outlined some basic important concepts about polyamory.

MORE IMPORTANTLY though, i've broken down some questions that you can answer throughout the writing process to strengthen your individual dyad relationships, your individual characterization, & your characters' individual feelings/experiences. this is a writing resource have fun

future kitkat butting in to say i spent over two hours writing this and it definitely needs a readmore. it is also NOT comprehensive. but everything should be pretty simple to follow! feel free to reblog if you find it helpful yourself or just want to reward me for how gotdan long this took KSLDKFJKDL.

i've grabbed quick links for a couple of the important concepts, some have SEO pitches in them but the info largely seems to be good. (if i missed anything Egregiously Gross on these sites i should be able to update the links with better ones later, since they're under the readmore.)

sidenote: this is NOT meant to be overwhelming, despite the length. if you can't read all of this, that's Okay. you do not need to give up on your writing.

here we go:

compersion!

compersion is a BIG thing in a lot of polyamorous relationships. it's joy derived from seeing two (or more) of your partners happy together, or joy derived from seeing your partner happy with someone else.

compersion is really important as a concept because it highlights that every individual relationship within a polycule is different -- and that that's a GOOD thing. it's sort of the inverse of jealousy.

by the "inverse of jealousy," i mean that instead of feeling left out and upset and possessive, you feel happy/joyous/content.

i can use personal experience as an example: it's a Relief for me when my partners receive joy/support/sex/romance/etc that i can't (or prefer not to) give them. and i love seeing my partners make each other laugh and be silly together.

it's 100% okay for a poly triad not to be together 100% of the time, it doesn't mean that the third member is being left out or not treated equally when two people do things alone together.

(i have individual dates with my partners all the time! PLUS larger 3-and-4-person date nights.)

if the third member DOES feel jealous or left out, then the polycule can have a conversation to figure out what needs/wants aren't being met, and solve that. this happens semi-regularly in my polycule, as it will happen in any relationship (including monogamous ones)! it's just part of being an adult, sometimes you have to talk about feelings.

metamours!

a metamour is someone who is dating your partner, but ISN'T dating you. this may not be relevant for people writing closed three-person romantic sexual triads, but it's a super helpful term to know.

the linked article also lists different types of metamour relationships with some fun phrasing i hadn't heard before. the tl;dr is: sometimes you'll be domestic cohabitation friends, sometimes you'll be buddies with your own friendship, sometimes you might not interact much outside of parties, every relationship is different.

there's no one-size-fits-all requirement for metamour relationships. sometimes polyamorous people will end up dating their metamour after a while (has happened to me), sometimes polyamorous people will break up with one partner for normal life reasons, but remain friendly metamours.

the goal of polyamory is NOT for EVERYONE to fall in love. it is 100% okay if this happens in your story, it happens in real life too! but it is also 100% okay for characters to be metamours without ever becoming "more than friends."

(sidenote: try to kill any internalized "more than" that you have when it comes to friendship. friends are just as important and special and vital as partners.)

of course there are a million ways for messiness to occur with metamours within a complex polycule, exactly like with close-knit platonic friend groups. however this post is not about that! there's enough "here's how polyamory can go wrong" stuff out there already, so i'm focusing on the positives here :)

open versus closed polyamorous relationships!

i'm struggling to find an online article that reflects my experience without directly contradicting at least SOME stuff. so i'll give a quick rundown

google has a bunch of conflicting definitions of open relationships and whether open relationships are different from polyamory. the general consensus seems to be that an open relationship prioritizes one partnership (often a marriage), but that each partner can have extraneous flings or long-term commitments (most often sexual in nature).

this is not typically how i use the term wrt polyamory. the poly concept is pretty simple. a closed polyamorous relationship is one with boundaries like a monogamous one. there are multiple partners in the polycule, but they are not interested in having anybody new join said polycule.

an open polyamorous relationship tends to be more flexible -- it just means that IF someone in the polycule develops mutual feelings for a new person, it's fine for them to become part of said polycule if they want to! the relationship/person is open to newcomers.

some groups will need to negotiate this all together, others will just go "haha, you kids have fun." just depends on the individuals!

with open AND closed polyamorous relationships, the most important thing is making sure that there's respectful communication and that everyone is on the same page. but there's no one-size-fits-all way to do that.

i wish i could give you guys a prescriptive "You Must Do It This Way" guide, but that's.... basically the opposite of what polyamory is about, HAHA.

feelings for multiple people!

i was gonna tack this on to the previous section but decided it warranted its own lil bit.

a defining feature (....i'm told?) of monogamous relationships is that a monogamous person only has feelings for One individual at a time. they only want a relationship with one individual at a time. or, if they DO have feelings for multiple people simultaneously, they're still only comfortable dating one person at a time & being exclusive with that one person.

this is perfectly fine!

the poly experience is generally different from this. but once again..... polyamorous people all have different individual perspectives on this.

for me, i have never been able to draw hard boxes around romantic vs sexual vs platonic relationships, & i love many people at once. my personal polycule lacks many strict definitions beyond "these are my chosen people, i want to forge a life with them indefinitely, whatever shape that life takes"

some poly people feel explicit romantic or sexual attraction to multiple people at once, some poly people feel almost no romantic or sexual attraction at all. i'd say that MOST poly people feel different things for different partners, which is not a bad thing!

some poly people are even monogamous-leaning -- they have just chosen one romantic partner who is themselves part of a larger polycule. (so this monogamous-leaning person has at least one metamour!)

or alternatively, they might have one romantic partner AND a qpr, or other ways of defining relationships. (this is a factor in my own polycule!)

i made this its own point because if you're writing a straightforward triad, this is unlikely to come up in the story itself -- but it's worth thinking about how your characters develop/handle feelings outside of their partnerships.

like, is this sort of a soulmateship, 'these are the only ones for me' type deal? in which they won't fall in love with anyone else, and can be fairly certain of that?

that's pretty close to typical monogamous standards but you Can make it work. just be thoughtful with it

alternatively, can you see any of these characters falling in love Again after the happily-ever-after? and how would the triad approach it, if so? what would they all need to talk about beforehand, and what feelings would everybody have about the situation?

it's worth considering these questions even if the hypothetical will never feature in your actual canon, because knowing the answers to these questions will help you understand all of the individuals & their relationship(s) MUCH better.

i've been typing this for nearly two hours and there's a lot more i COULD say because... there's just a lot to say. i'll close out with some quick questions that you can ask yourself when developing the dyad dynamics within your triad

first, take a page and create a separate section for each individual dyad. then answer these questions for every pair:

how does each pair act when alone?

how do they act differently alone compared to when they're with their third partner?

are there any elements of this dyad (romantic, sexual, financial, domestic, etc) that these two people DON'T have with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

are there any boundaries or hard limits within this dyad that aren't shared with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

partner 3 goes out of town alone for a few weeks. what are the remaining two doing in their absence?

(doesn't have to be anything special, it's just to get a sense of how the two interact on a day-by-day basis without the third there)

what is something that each partner in the dyad admires about the other -- that they DON'T necessarily see in the third partner?

what problem do These Two Specifically need to solve in the story before their relationship will work?

how is that problem DIFFERENT from the problems being solved within the other two dyads?

doing this for ALL THREE dyads is VITAL imo. that way, you develop complex and nuanced and different relationships that all have unique dynamics.

those questions should be enough to get you started, i hope

then After you've charted the differences in relationships, you can start to jot down similarities in the overarching triad. what does one person admire in Both of their partners? what are activities that all three like to do together? what are boundaries or discussions that all three share?

but the main goal is to figure out how to Differentiate each relationship!

a polycule is only as strong as the individual relationships within it. if two people are struggling with their own relationship, adding a third person won't fix that.

(UNLESS the third person is the catalyst for those two to, like, Actually Communicate And Work Their Shit Out. i just mean that the old adage of "maybe if we just add a third-" works about as well to fix a miserable non-communicative marriage as, uh, "maybe if we have a baby-")

AND FINALLY.

if you're not sure whether your poly romance reads organically to poly people, you can hire a sensitivity reader with poly experience. if you can't afford that, you can read up on polyamorous resources like a glossary of terms & articles actually written by poly people. (and stories written by poly people!)

you can also just.... ask poly people questions, if they're open to it. i like talking about polyamory and my own relationships so you're welcome to send asks if u want, i just can't guarantee i'll answer bc my energy levels fluctuate a lot and i don't always have time.

polyamorous people are in an uphill battle for positive representation right now & so the LAST thing i want to see is authors giving up on their stories bc they're worried about getting things Wrong. well-meaning and positive stories that treat this kind of love as normal, healthy, & aspirational are So So So Needed. even if you guys end up with some funky-feeling details.

seriously, if you're monogamous then you probably don't have a full idea of Just How Nasty a lot of people can get about polyamory. i wish it DIDN'T mean so much for you guys to want to write nice stories about us, but it does mean a lot. and it means a lot that you want to do it WELL.

in conclusion. this is not a prescriptive guide, it's just a way to raise questions. and also, you all are doing FINE.

[ghostlynachopanda]

Till Next time pt2

a/n: so sorry I'm hella late, but happy pride month pals! I'll be doing a clean up of my page so some of my fics will be gone soon. hope this is okay, I wrote it at 4am cause I couldn't sleep. enjoy pals :)

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x reader

words: 2.5k

summary: Wednesday struggles to send you a text but manages to invite you over to the Addams mansion. you meet the fam

~~~

It had been one week since you had last seen Wednesday, both of you settling back into your homes. She assumes it's taking you longer to settle in due to you not having a Lurch to carry all of your things. At least, that's the excuse she's using to justify you not contacting her.

It's only been a week but your absence has been obvious the moment your car drove off. There were no random visits or someone to just spend time with in silence. There was no one to talk to about her novel or tell her ideas she would not use. It had also been unnecessarily sunny, something Wednesday could only put up with because it reminded her of you.

She walked over to her bag and pulled out the phone she was gifted, looking at it for a moment before opening it and clicking on your contact. She stared at your picture for a moment before realizing something.

You do not have her contact information.

Wednesday felt panic and embarrassment creep into her stomach. What if you had been waiting for her to reach out? How could she have forgotten such a simple thing? She may have gotten so caught up in being able to terrorize Pugsley that it slipped her mind. She had to fix this, would it be better to call or text you?

She'd like to hear your voice again, but if an unknown number called would you pick up? If you had any common sense, you wouldn't. There was also a higher chance of you answering a text. There was just one problem with that, she didn’t know what to say.

Yes, she had been planning everything out — from the first letter and texts and what to talk about. But, this situation was a little more frightening than Wednesday had anticipated. She had not been planning on forgetting to message you, and now she was worried you thought she didn’t want to talk to you.

Quickly pressing the message button and seeing the empty text line tied her stomach into knots. Her thumbs hovered over the keyboard, not knowing what to type. Every message she typed out she was forced to delete because she didn't like it. She shook her head and decided that this was the last message she'd type.

Good afternoon, this is Wednesday. 

Before she could change her mind she hit send, hit the power button, and put the phone on her desk. Her hands itched to pick up the phone and see if you had responded but she forced herself to focus on something else — mainly hunting Pugsley.

The next time she had the chance to check the phone was after dinner. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw a notification from you. Opening the message she saw a simple, "Hi Wednesday!"

She briefly wondered if you had gone through the same predicament as herself. Her thoughts are cut short by the three text bubbles under your previous message followed by a new message.

"Are you busy right now?"

Her eyes narrowed, thinking through the possibilities of what could happen if she said no. She wasn't busy, dinner had just finished and everyone went off to do their own thing for the night. She looked at the door and calculated how likely it would be for someone to walk in anytime soon.

No, I'm not.

A minute after she sent the message her phone started buzzing with an incoming Facetime from you. She tilted her head, not exactly knowing which button to press as if the color-coded buttons weren't enough. Her phone eventually stopped vibrating, and she saw the 'missed call' notification before another message from you popped up.

"It's the green button, Wednesday"

A few seconds later another Facetime call came in, and when she pressed the green button like instructed your face popped into view. You were lightly laughing, a big smile on your face, and Wednesday had never been so relieved to see your face.

"Why are you laughing?" she inquired.

"I'm sorry. I can just imagine how confused you looked while getting the call," you said through a fit of giggles.

"Glad to know it's so amusing," Wednesday replied dryly.

"Oh, come on! It's funny! Besides, it's sort of cute that you didn't know." the cute smile on your face made her anger turn into embarrassment, "Or I'd like to think you didn't know. Otherwise, you just let my call ring out."

"Maybe I had the urge to hit the red button." your mouth formed an 'o' shape at her quip.

"Wednesday, that's so mean!" you whined like a child.

"Good." you opened your mouth to gibe at Wednesday but she continued, "I'd like to formally invite you to visit the Addams mansion."

You paused, needing a second to comprehend what she had just said. She's inviting you to her house? At a loss for words, you say, "Really?"

"Is that so hard to believe? I can retract the offer-" panic flashes across your features.

"No!" the volume of your voice surprises you, quietly clearing your throat before continuing. "No, it's just.. Uh... Yeah, I'd love to visit. When is good for you?"

"Tomorrow." your jaw dropped again before realizing she was messing with you.

"Wednesday Addams has learned sarcasm. Who would've thought? Give this girl an award or something."

"Say anything like that again and I'll-" you cut her off.

"Anyways, you need to give me at least 2 days' notice. I'll need to tell my parents and you'll need to tell me how long I'll be there so I can pack clothes." it's Wednesday's turn to pause.

"Your parents won't mind?" she asks stunned.

"Oh no, as long as they know where I'm going they don't care." Wednesday sent you a look, "It's true! Last summer, I spent the entire break at my friend's house and they didn't care. They texted me occasionally to make sure I was alive, but other than that there was nothing." you shrugged.

Wednesday was slightly appalled by your parents' lack of care for their child. "I see. Then why don't you come over at the start of next week and stay for a couple of days," she suggested. Unsure if you'd want to stay more than that, she knows her family can be a lot.

"Only a couple of days? But yeah, sounds good to me. I assume I should pack colorless clothes for this trip?" you ask, unknowingly making Wednesday's heart beat just a little faster.

"That would be preferred. I'll send you the address, date, and time to arrive."

"Sounds like a plan!" you looked at your clock past the camera, "Hey Wednesday, I have to go. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay," she breathed out.

"Bye, my love!" you said quickly before ending the call.

Wednesday looked at the date on her phone and started counting down the hours till you would show up at her doorstep.

---

Once Wednesday had figured out how to properly call you and not freak out about texting you she did it constantly. She found herself looking forward to the nightly calls you two would have and the messages that would be exchanged. Seeing your face and hearing your voice every day made your absence not as acute. She wouldn't say she's a slave to technology, but she can see why people would become that way.

You had started packing for your short trip to the Addams' house as soon as you got invited, needing to find enough dark clothes for the short trip. When the day came, you loaded your bag in the car before telling your parents you were leaving for a few days. You texted Wednesday before starting the drive. The drive was surprisingly only a couple of hours, you had no idea she was that close to you.

When you finally arrived, you parked your car next to the only other car there. Eagerly getting out of the car to stretch your legs and texting Wednesday to inform her you're here.

Wednesday calling it a mansion was right, the house is huge. It's probably the biggest and darkest colored house you've ever seen in your life. Once the feeling returns to your butt, you grab your bag and walk to the front of the house. You take a calming breath before knocking.

You only have to wait a couple of seconds before the door is yanked open to reveal Wednesday. You smile widely at her and her lips twitch upwards, a ghost of a smile on her lips.

"Hi, long time no see," you said, smiling brightly at her. Wednesday wouldn't tell you, but you look great in black, and the way your smiling at her takes her breath away. She feels something warm bubble in her chest at the knowledge that you did what you said you would — bring colorless and wear clothes.

"Hello," Wednesday replies, looking as relaxed as you've ever seen her. Your eyes soften at the sight and your smile widens just a little bit more. You see her open the door wider, signaling you to walk inside.

When you do, you're met with the wide grin of Gomez, the soft smile of Morticia, and Pugsley sticking his head around the corner. Quickly putting on a polite smile and sticking your hand out, "Hi, my name is Y/N. It's a pleasure to meet you."

You see them give each other a look before Morticia reached out to shake your hand, "The pleasure is all ours, dear. I'm Morticia, Wednesday's mom." your smile widens at that. You turn to Gomez and stick your hand out for him. He looks at it for a second before sticking his own hand out. As soon as his hand reaches yours he's pulling you into a bone-crushing hug, "Yes! The pleasure is really all ours!" he's aggressively rocking you side to side before pulling away and keeping his hands on your shoulders.

"My name is Gomez, it's really nice to see someone new at this house! Everyone that comes here is either a couple of relatives or a couple of ghosts!" he exclaimed heartily. He gently squeezed your shoulders before letting go.

"Oh, your house is haunted? That's kind of cool!" you said, lying through your teeth. The prospect of ghosts is unsettling, but they didn't need to know that. You look to the boy next and stick your hand out.

"I'm Pugsley, Wednesday's little brother," he says shyly while walking up to you, not used to so many eyes being on him. He gingerly slides his hand into yours, and you smile. Hoping to make him comfortable.

"So, are you one of Wednesday's friends?" he asks and you nod, "That's good, I'm glad she's making friends" You laugh and lean down closer to him, looking like you’re telling him a secret.

"Me too, she was kinda scary when I met her. I thought she was going to gut me when I first talked to her," you whisper to him.

"Yeah, she kind of does that," he says laughing. You smile down at him, knowing you managed to make him feel less awkward. You miss Morticia's smile.

"Well, why don't you let Lurch take your bag to one of the guest rooms and let Wednesday give you a tour of the house while lunch is prepared." Morticia proposes in a soft voice. You make your way back over to Wednesday's side, comfortable with how those conversations went. 

"Y/N will be staying in my room, Lurch can take her bag there." Both her parents look surprised at that. Morticia is quickly connecting the dots.

"I see, alright then. I'll inform Lurch to take her bag to your room." Morticia replied kindly.

"Lurch? Who's Lurch?" you ask.

A grunt is heard from behind you. Turning to greet the person only to be met with someone's chest. Letting out a tiny squeak of surprise and taking a quick step back to look back at the towering man. You clear your throat, hoping to get rid of the lingering embarrassment, "Hi, I'm Y/N." you stick your hand out to shake his.

He looks at Gomez and Morticia before looking down at you and gently sliding his hand into yours. His hands are calloused and big, and his grip is slightly too tight. When he lets go of your hand you look at your hand and see it start to redden. You look up at him in amazement and give him a thumbs up, "You're strong! Your hands are tough too, do you build things or something? Do you fix things around the house?"

"That's enough. I'm giving you the tour now." Wednesday said, turning around and walking off, slightly irritated to see you talk to her family more than herself.

Your head looks between Lurch, Morticia, Gomez, Pugsley, and Wednesday's retreating form. Torn between staying and talking or following Wednesday. Unsure if you want to seem impolite to her family or have Wednesday be mad at you. You want Wednesday's family to like you, but you don’t want to upset Wednesday more than you already did.

"It's okay sweetheart," Morticia says, slightly nodding her head in Wednesday's direction, indicating you to follow her.

"Ah, yes ma'am. Thank you!" you say, words rushed as you wave and turn to rush to Wednesday's side.

When you finally reach her, quickly falling into stride with her angry footsteps. You stay quiet, just enjoying being next to her.

"You don’t need to be nice to my family," Wednesday huffed, breaking the quiet air surrounding you two.

"I actually like them, they're super nice." she grunts in response, "Is your house really haunted though?"

Wednesday feels a smirk pull at her lips, "Of course, that's why I had your bag put in my room. You're too much of a coward to sleep alone in a house as haunted as this one."

You slowly push yourself closer to Wednesday, not appreciating the haunted state of the house. Your shoulders brush and Wednesday finds your fear adorable.

"Don't worry, darling. The ghosts know better than to come into my room. You'll be safe with me." she says softly.

---

"Y/N, how was the tour?" Morticia asked politely, trying to make conversation while lunch was being laid out.

"It was great! Your home is beautiful in its own little eerie way! Not to mention all the weapons you have in here, so cool Mrs. Addams!" you said excitedly, truly enjoying the house in all of its glory.

Wednesday feels a smile pull at her lips, feeling giddy about the fact you enjoy the house as much as you do. She quickly takes the spot next to you. She feels even more giddy at the look on your face when the lunch that Lurch made is brought out. You look cautious of what's in it. When a plate is handed to you, you hesitantly take it.

You patiently wait for something to happen, but everyone has started eating — well, everyone except Lurch. He's turned to walk back out of the room, you tilt your head at that. You turn to him, "Lurch, are you going to eat?" you ask loud enough for him to hear you but soft enough so it doesn't sound accusatory.

He shakes his head and you hear Gomez start laughing, "I really like this one! You did good, my little death trap."

Your face turns bright red. Wednesday's face has even turned a slight red color, making Gomez laugh harder and Pugsley let out a small laugh of his own. You're suddenly very interested in your food, trying to keep your head down for the rest of lunch, hoping to avoid embarrassing yourself further. It only works for a few minutes.

"So, Y/N, why don't you tell us about yourself. We've heard nothing about you," Morticia says sweetly.

------

extra

Morticia, Gomez, Pugsley, and Lurch watched you rush to follow Wednesday to start the tour. They all watch as you watch Wednesday point things out in the house until you turn a corner.

"Wow, I like that one. Hopefully they stay friends!" Gomez says, knowing the others agree with him. Lurch grunts in approval, and Pugsley nods in agreement.

"They're definitely not just friends," Morticia states before walking away.

"Huh??" Gomez and Pugsley said, whipping their heads to look back at Morticia. When she didn't acknowledge either of them, they turned to Lurch for confirmation.

All Lurch did was nod his head before moving to take your bag to Wednesday's room.

I tried my best, pls be nice I’m tired

tags: @alexkolax @rainbow-love4ever @o639 @tundra1029 @the-lazy-traveller

[tearsonmarz]

Scarian Flirting and Fishing pt. 2

(I know I said I wasn’t going to be adding onto the one-shot-- but that was before Grian’s latest episode came out, so here we are. Don’t hold your breath for another part. Also, I decided that it wasn’t going to be a modern setting, but I’m also too lazy to make either of these historically accurate. I wrote these for fun, they weren’t meant to be anything too thought out. Here's part one if you haven't read it yet. I was also too tired to edit it, but I need it out of my docs because it'll consume my thought otherwise.)

“So, why do you want this book so badly?” Scar was curious since he hadn’t seen Grian before. He had never imagined what would stem from a simple encounter with the sandy haired man.

He’d been following Grian for about a month now. They’d go to nearby streams, scrounge around for the book, spend hours getting excited only to be disappointed once again.

After the first two days, Scar bought a fishing rod to help out. But Grian had insisted that he wanted to be the one to find it, nevertheless Scar fished because it bothered Grian.

“I need it for something important that I’m working on. You know you can leave whenever you want.”

“Still trying to get rid of me, don’t you get tired of it?”

“Don’t you get tired of following me?” He shot Scar a look that only caused him to burst out laughing.

“You just aren’t going to give up.”

“I should be the one saying that.”

Why was he staying this long? There was no reason for him to continue bothering Grian. It’s simply something that had integrated into his daily routine. Every day without fail they would link up, take a walk down to the river and start fishing. They’d eat together, talk together, and enjoy each other’s company. It mainly consisted of Scar ranting to his hearts content, while Grian pretended not to listen. Every now again Grian would forget and chime into the conversation to Scar’s surprise.

Through it all they continued to hang around each other. The other’s presence because comforting and routine. Though Grian would never admit it, he was happy that Scar stuck around. Even if he wasn’t ecstatic about Scar in the beginning, each fishing trip felt a little more fulfilling even without a mending book. He hadn’t wanted to spend this month any other way.

“I don’t think this is the spot.” He dejectedly spoke as he reeled in another fish.

“Are you sure? It’s barely been an hour.”

“No, I’m not sure, but I’m just so sick of getting nothing every single day. It’s so infuriating.” A sigh left his lips as he tossed it onto the pile and put down his fishing rod.

“Why don’t we just take a break. Let’s head into town to eat for a change.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right. Finish up while I start packing up our stuff.”

‘Our.’ Just that simple word stuck in Scar’s head, enough to distract him from the pulling on his line. Snapping out of it, he reeled in is line. Much to his dismay it was a book. He walked over to his pile, but before he could inspect it, Grian called out to him.

“Ready to get going yet?”

He hid the book in the pile of items he had acquired pretending to sift through it. “Yeah, just let me finish putting everything away and I’ll be good to go.”

“Oh… Alright, I’ll just wait for you then.” Without another word Grian started towards the fishery.

Scar brought the book back out. It had a royal purple coloured cover decorated with golden trim, and an ominous aura to it. Besides, he already knew it was what Grian was looking for. Just in case, he was going to allow it to dry. Once he had gathered himself, he made his way to where Grian was.

“What are you in the mood for?”

“Anything as long as it’s delicious and filling.” Grian sulked as they strolled.

Scar just smiled, leading the way to the nearby tavern. They grabbed something quick to eat, not paying much mind to the time. Scar’s priority was to cheer Grian up after all. Well, that was before he had found what they had been searching for. It felt like it was looming over his head. He knew he had to tell Grian eventually.

“So, G. What are you going to do when you do find that book?” That question earned a coughing fit from Grian. “Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to startle you. Here-” He passed Grian his handkerchief, urging him to drink water as he tried to calm down.

“Why… Why do you ask?” Grian replied in between coughs. He cleared his throat, quietly thanking Scar and beckoning him to continue.

“Well, I just got to thinking. We’ve been fishing for a month, and it has to come to an end. I was just wondering what would happen to us when it does… End I mean.”

“Oh. I hadn’t really thought about what we would do. I guess, we’d probably go our separate ways.”

They sat there in silence for a moment. Wondering what the other was thinking. The thought of this coming to end was bittersweet and heartbreaking. Scar didn’t want it to end, but he’d be lying if the thought didn’t cross his mind. What was he to do after this? What was his life lie before hanging around Grian? That thought has only caused him more grief.

Scar never stayed in one place for very long. There was never anything keeping him tied to a single area. He was free to do as he pleased without a care in the world. For the first time, he had something to look forward to. Casual conversation, playful pranks, and a type of warmth he hadn’t experienced before. He liked the sense of security he began to associate with Grian. His home.

The thought of something changing, or Grian leaving him was devastating. And the fear began to set in. If he were to show Grian what he had found there was a large possibility that he’d leave him. He couldn’t take that chance. Maybe, if he held onto it for a little longer, he could find another reason for Grian to stay. Just maybe.

[exhaustedcatte]

Are we doing this here? (yes)

Remus ran his sweaty palms over his suit, which did nothing to dry them off given that the material was very silky.

“My god, Lily, you should’ve asked someone else to sub in,” Remus muttered balefully.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she scoffed, accent thick – it only ever came out when she was nervous. “You made bigger numbers than Susan when you filled in for her last time.”

“I wish I was knee deep in editing instead,” he said, just to keep the banter going.

Remus wasn’t mad about Lily asking him to fill in for her co-worker, mainly because the carpet they were on was for a Period Era film whose book had him crying for days. No, he was just very out of depth being in front of a camera and not a screen. Besides, this must be what people call Nepotism. Remus was simply an editor, who cuts clips out and makes a nice video out of it. Lily, who’d pulled strings to get Snarky little Remus Lupin out here, did so with the intention of getting him to do some networking.

“No, you don’t, not when Black will be here,” she replied knowingly.

She knew too much, honestly. Lily simply barked a laugh when he told her that.

He tried to settle his nerves by doing a headcount of the reporters on the carpet. He thought he might reach Nirvana once he’d counted upto the 90 mark, but his cameraman starts clicking the little button with such force, Remus is startled out of the ‘counting sheep to sleep’ method he was using.

“Oh my god,” Lily applied her lipstick hastily. “Remus! Remus that’s Dame Minerva McGonagall.”

He bit his lip, trying to contain his own excitement. “Who gets her?”

They were both under the same network, it would make no sense for both of them to interview her with similar questions.

“Do you… do you want it?” Lily asked.

Remus saw the generosity in her offering her role model to him. “Of course not, Lils. I was only pulling your leg.”

She punched his arm. “I was about to replace you with Frank.”

Remus’ cameraman, Frank Longbottom, popped his head from behind the huge camera, “Oh, piss off.”

Minerva strode into their section after getting her photographs taken. Remus stepped away in awe. He’d never been so close to anyone famous, well excluding his one boyfriend – who wrote three love songs about him and then dumped him after the songs blew up. They’d been together at the cusp of his fame. Remus squashed the thought of Caradoc Dearborn, the nation’s favourite Pop Artist, according to Daily Prophet.

“Miss Minerva,” Lily smiled brightly, “you look lovely. Might I know who you’re wearing?”

“Why, you look beautiful yourself,” the woman smiled. “This was a work of Pandora Lovegood.”

“It looks stunning,” Lily reiterated sincerely. She segued into her question smoothly with, “The pantsuit must’ve been easier to wear than traditional Victorian outfits, right?”

“Oh yes,” she nodded. “Many, many layers.”

“This film is also your comeback after two years, how does it feel?”

They’re lucky they secured the entry spot on the carpet, because the other interviewers are likely to ask the same questions as these actors progress down the line.

“It’s very special. I’ve known the director, James Potter, for a few years now and working with him has been lovely because he really eased me into it,” Minerva spoke fondly of James Potter and it was all but a miracle that Lily’s knees didn’t give out judging by the dizzy expression that overtook her smile when her celebrity crush was name dropped. (Remus knew Lily as well as she knew him, so it was never a disadvantage really.)

“The trailer also broke records, have you got any anecdotes to spare about scenes that have been revealed?”

Minerva pondered for a few. “I found it very difficult to chase Sirius around set when he thought dropping seeds on my hat was a good idea. I almost had a pigeon infestation on me.”

“Did you have to run in the gown?” Lily laughed good-naturedly.

Remus also had to hold back a snort at the vivid image of the Dame running behind Sirius Black and a flock of pigeons trailing her.

“Running after him was a personal choice, it wasn’t a shot for the movie,” the actress said primly, making everyone laugh again.

“I wish the movie great success, it was lovely meeting you,” Lily bade her goodbye.

Minerva smiled once again before heading over to the next reporter.

“How was I?” Lily asked.

“Good, but a touch too nervous maybe,” Remus offered honestly.

“Okay.” She spotted Slughorn making his way over to them and straightened, “It’s go time.”

The old veteran was suited up in boring grey slacks and a grey suit jacket with a plain white shirt under. Remus wished there were less boring men’s outfits on the carpet, at least then it’d make it interesting for him to edit these things, it would provide great gossip material.

Lily breezed through the next couple interviews, trying to shuffle her questions between them to make it less monotonous for both parties.

When Narcissa Malfoy finally sashayed away, Lily slugged half of Remus’ ginger lemon tea. “This thermos is god sent, the tea is so warm.”

“I know. It was Caradoc’s last christmas present. But it’s so good, I couldn’t justify throwing away just because he was a shit ex.”

“His money anyway,” Lily winked. Her voice sounded too hoarse.

“Want me to go?” Remus asked.

Her shoulders slumped, a bit relieved. “I would appreciate that.”

Remus steadied his mind, just a few questions and that’s all there was. You can do this, you got this, it’s just a few minutes and – Holy fucking god.

Marlene McKinnon stepped out of her car in a sequinned dress, thigh high slit and tall pumps.

Remus managed to snag her first out of the sea of interviewers.

“Good evening,” he smiled. “You look gorgeous, very old Hollywood.”

Her blonde hair was pinned up, lips painted blood red, mole under her eye, black sequinned dress glimmering in the flashes of the cameras.

“Thank you so much, but I have to thank Fortescue for this.”

Her ability to understand cues was very well appreciated by Remus.

“I must say, your role in the movie seems to be rather demanding psychologically,” Remus started off strong, “judging by the book and the trailer, of course.”

Marlene blinked away her surprise fast. Women were usually not asked about their character’s personalities very often.

“Harriet is a bit of a character,” she said eagerly. “She’s too strict on herself and clearly a bit emotionally constipated,” Marlene laughed.

“Was it difficult to recover from that kind of a role?”

“It was,” Marlene’s surprise bled into her voice. “Harriet’s strictness with herself often translated into her constantly picking herself apart so my confidence did see it’s ups and downs.”

“And she’s also Irish!“ Remus redirected towards something lighthearted. “How was working the accent for you?”

“I’m so used to London, it took a lot of work to get my pronunciation as close to a native as I could,” she admitted sheepishly.

Remus grinned, watch pulsating silently on his wrist. “Well, Harriet, I wont keep you long, for your duties call you elsewhere.”

“Wow,” Marlene laughed, “you’re better than Sirius, man!”

“I wouldn’t make it past auditions, Marlene,” he deadpanned.

She giggled. “Give yourself some credit. Sirius only remembered his dialogues when he had to whinge about me.”

Remus shifted back, on his hip, “Harriet, dear, don’t you have somewhere to be?”

Marlene guffawed, “Oh, you’re good.” She waved as she was led away.

Remus didn’t get a refractory period when the next actor swarmed in.

After six successful interviews Remus started to loosen up. He managed to land a few jokes based on the knowledge of the actors and their characters.

“Are you the interviewer that Marls said I had to meet?”

Remus turned around.

Sirius Orion Black.

He was wearing proper Victorian attire. A ruffled white blouse, a midnight blue paisley vest with gold embroidery, charcoal slacks and tailcoat. His hair was tied back with a gold ribbon. God. He looked delectable.

Remus’ brain sent pure dumb into his head and he fish-mouthed. “You cut quite a figure in that suit.”

“It’s an Ollivander custom,” Sirius grinned, eyes shining. Oh, his smile. “I see you’re dressed to star alongside me too!”

Remus cracked a smile. No one had commented on his commitment to the part yet. He was also similarly in Victorian garbs, but he decided to take a simpler route by thrifting and sewing them himself.

“It’s a Remus Lupin special,” he said. After a pause, he motioned to himself, and added, “I’m Remus Lupin.”

“You’ve got quite the talent in suit making, Lupin. Want to make one for me next time?” Sirius leaned in close. Remus could smell the decadent notes of vanilla and coffee in his perfume.

“I’m not all that talented,” Remus said modestly. “I might be better at taking a suit off than putting it on you.”

What the hell am I doing? On Broadcast! Oh, he’s so fired. Lily pinched his arm from behind.

But Sirius Black grinned widely, very obviously looking him up and down, “You certainly have the permission.”

Remus smirked. “Alright now, let’s keep it media-friendly. Tell us, Sirius, you’ve taken on the role of Sir Fitzwilliam Grey, who is notoriously difficult. What was being such a frustrating man like?”

“Frustrating,” Sirius laughed. “He definitely was written well, but boy, he got on my nerves a bit.”

Remus also smiled, agreeing, “It’s true, the book almost made me pull my hair out.”

“You can pull my hair instead,” Sirius winked.

Remus swallowed, before smiling brightly. “Ah, but I don’t put out until the fourth date at least.”

Sirius snorted, “I was talking about braiding my hair.”

“Mm, either ways, I am good with my hands.”

Sirius hid his face in his palms, shoulders shaking with laughter. Remus felt proud of himself for making this man laugh. God, he looked really beautiful.

“So,” he cleared his throat at Frank’s pointed gaze. “James Potter is your best friend and this isn’t your first production together. But you mentioned this project was very close to you, why so?”

“I grew up in a family like Grey’s, so I could understand why he behaved the way he did – I was much like him until I met James. So now I’m not welcome home anymore,” Sirius snickered lightly. This news was known to the public for a while, but it was still a sore subject.

“You’re welcome to my home anytime,” Remus winked, trying to make it lighter on the viewers.

This time, Sirius actually blushed. “I’ll make a note of that.”

“Your first film was also a period era movie, was it nostalgic going back to your roots, in a sense?”

“A little. I was too nervous to experience everything the first time, so this felt like redemption,” Sirius said. Then he broke into a jive, “Redemption is leaving the man you dreamed of~”

Jesus. Caradoc Dearborn through the mouth of Sirius. But Sirius had a really nice voice, rich and robust.

“Sorry, I don’t know why I keep singing that song, must be because I’ve been hearing it a lot on the radio.”

“Yeah, me too,” Remus said stiffly. Lily snorted into her palm.

“Oh?”

“Er, my ex… he was a huge fan of, um, Caradoc Dearborn,” Remus felt his eye twitch.

“Oh.”

“He’s my ex,” Remus shrugged. “It’s fine.”

“Oh yeah, absolutely. If he left you, then he was probably a right Fitzwilliam Grey, eh,” Sirius giggled. “Or like, Earl Grey. A bit basic.”

“You’re right.” He leaned in a bit, heart jumping when Sirius mirrored his action. “I much prefer it Black.”

Sirius’ ears were slowly getting red, probably like his own. “Everyone likes black tea, Remus.”

“We all have good taste,” Remus nodded importantly, willing himself to stand his ground.

His watch beeped, breaking the moment. “Oh, we’ve run out of time. Have you got any last remarks?”

“I hope you watch the movie,” he said to the camera. “And let me know how it is,” he turned to Remus.

“Well, it has been a pleasure to talk to you Mr Black,” Remus smiled his professional smile.

“You too, Remus,” Sirius said softly. “I will see you sometime.”

That sounded like a promise if he’d ever heard one.

Sirius strode away, but Remus noticed him peeking back at where he was stood.

“What on Earth was that Remus?” Lily squealed. “How can we possibly use this footage?!”

“We can, I think. It’s guaranteed views, Lils,” Frank interjected.

Remus blushed. “Sorry, I don’t know what got over me.”

“Thinking with the wrong organ, most likely,” Lily muttered, but she sounded too fond and too impressed to be mad.

“Most likely,” Remus echoed, once again on the receiving end of The Sirius Black smile.

His phone rang six times before he even considered picking it up.

“Hey,” he croaked. “I met the deadlines and uploaded it yesterday evening.”

Lily, who had been pestering him to get the interview out before the movie’s first day, didn’t utter a word.

“Lils?”

“Have you seen the comments?”

Oh, god.

Remus sat up in his bed, blankets falling in a pool around his naked torso. “Should I?”

“Yes.”

He pulled up the video, and immediately was stunned by the 2.3 million views on it. “Holy shit?”

“Read the comments, lad.”

laralare: um id tap his ass too sirius, get in line

beyzoz: not in front of my saladfsusjro?!

flour: am i jealous of sirius or remus lupin?

patricknorth: 6.57 im gay now

gillian: look at the eYES sirius makes when remus mentions his ex!!

hollyhollyday: the blatant flirting?! jail. my single ass is sobbing at 2am

freyja: i like lupin. we need him on more carpets.

doorathea: sirius looks so hot, id hit too. so yeah, remus was just being gay, not unprofessional.

Remus laughed incredulously at the number of comments in support of this tomfoolery.

“Now, Remus, I want you to breathe and go on Twitter.”

“Lily!”

Twitter was flooded with trends. About Him. And Sirius. Together.

#remusirius

#sirius black flirting

#remus lupin

Remus found many tweets – mostly laughing at the pair and dissecting the interaction. But it had felt so natural even to Remus so he had left it in, thinking it was amusing. Clearly everyone agreed.

The topmost tweet however.

SiriusBlack:

Last night was one of my favourite nights ever. I hope tonight you all can enjoy the movie too. Dress victorian, thrift and sew your outfits, have some fun!(a borrowed idea) when in rome, do as the romans do, (or is when in remus more apt? lol) enjoy!!

Remus screamed into his phone, blushing at the innuendo.

“His publicist loves you or hates you.”

“Let’s hope she’s obsessed with me, because.”

“Uh oh, Remus. Remus, what are you doing?”

“Nothing!”

RJLupin: im going to the movie w my best friend this weekend.

SiriusBlack: oh he’s in my dms now

RJLupin: too presumptuous?

SiriusBlack: the right amount i think.

text me here– xxx

“Remus…?”

“Might’ve scored a date with Fitzwilliam.”

“Remus! Caradoc could never!”

Remus laughed.

(a/n: based on a prompt i saw on pinterest lol. can you tell i can’t flirt for my life. or that i have no idea how red carpets work? i wrote this at arse o’ clock, so please excuse the lack of research and feasible scenarios that went into this. i hope it put a smile on your face at least.)

[chlorine-and-daisies]

fics i enjoyed last week!

Confiteor (M) by @adverbian- When the title comes from a prayer for confessing sins, and the tags say it's a marriage proposal, you know this one is going to hit. It's made up of Aziraphale's thoughts and a conversation with Crowley after all of the fighting is done- a forgiving, poetic, and grown-up kind of epilogue. As a 3k word oneshot, every phrase is intentional, and it definitely has that crafted emotional impact. I liked that we don't actually see Armageddon Part 2, but are able to piece together what happened from their dialogue. It's rated M for some *very lightly* implied masturbation at the start and sex at the end (just a few lines), but imo the real reason is because it's a mature take on the characters and their inner motivations. If the Final Fifteen is still hurting you, and you wish Aziraphale and Crowley would just sit down and talk, read this.

Terminus (T) by BraveLight (@emotional-support-demon-crowley)- This is a really unique AU where Aziraphale is an astronaut on a decades-long mission and Crowley is the mission controller responsible for bringing him home! But things get complicated quickly when a. they are absolutely whipped for each other and b. the company that started the mission may not actually want it to succeed! I love the characterization of Aziraphale, Crowley, and the Them in this one. They mainly communicate through calls, and the dialogue is always funny and sweet. I've gotten invested in the story and the mystery in it. It's currently on chapter 7/16, and I'm looking forward to see where it'll take us next!

You, you're driving me crazy (T) - author anonymous- Aziraphale prepares for his driving test in the 1930s, and tries to remember his lessons in the 40s! This one is clearly written with so much love. The narration and dialogue was perfectly in character, the historical setting is full of fun details, and the side characters were unique without feeling forced in. Aziraphale channeling his inner book detective to save Crowley was so entertaining!

requiem of a fallen angel (T) by viperinz- Aziraphale Falls, and Crowley holds him through it. This one is adorable, painful, and powerful hurt-comfort that made me laugh and cry. Yes, it was on my previous list too, and I'm recommending it again this week because the author just finished the sixth and final chapter, and the ending was soft and a satisfying wrap-up, plot-wise, symbolically, and emotionally!!

And for this week's deep cut: city continues on, alone (G) by burnttongueontea (@aziraphale-rights) from 2020! This is a oneshot that takes place in an AU where Adam turned Aziraphale and Crowley human, and they've settled down in the South Downs cottage. In it, Aziraphale returns to London after selling the bookshop. I know, I know- becoming human? Selling a single book, let alone the shop? Those are fighting words!!! But I would really encourage you to keep an open mind and give this a read. The descriptions of London are so vivid and Aziraphale's characterization is great, full of nostalgia and experience and love. It's sad, but there's humor in it too. The author really explores the idea of longing for a place and time in a way that not too many do. We're writing about immortals in this fandom and yet we often forget the weariness that comes along with watching everything go by. Not only that, but the author uses the human AU to tell a very human story about missing a place that no longer exists and watching it change as you start to age. It came as no surprise when I looked in the comments after reading and saw them talking about how they wrote it at a time when they were personally homesick for London! This is the purpose of all good writing- to write about the human experience, to connect to your characters, to tell a story only you could tell.

So yeah! This was a really great week of reading for me. I originally intended to share these lists every weekend- this is only my second post, and I'm already falling behind (it was finals week)! But don't worry, I'm still here to highlight recent work and share my opinions in long rants. I tried to tag all the authors whose Tumblrs I could find, but as always please let me know if I've missed one.

Please add your own recommendations (including self-promotion), and I hope you will enjoy these stories as much as I did!

[amethystina]

Hello !!! I hope u r well and recovering 💘

Fir the ask game: 🤡❌️👀

Unfortunately, things are still pretty rough but I'm hanging in there :)

���� What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?

I'm not sure if there is such a line, to be honest. Mainly because most of the things I write aren't all that funny, but also because it takes a lot for me to laugh when it's my own writing. Because I already know the punchline before the joke's even started, so it's just not that exciting. If that makes sense?

That said, Yoon Sa Wol from Black Knight is an absolute hoot to write and there is one exchange in particular that definitely makes me want to cackle whenever I think about it. It's when he's talking to 4-1 (a coworker of his) and they accidentally stumble onto the subject of whether or not Sa Wol could have sex with 5-8 (the dude he is definitely interested in having sex with) and the following happens:

All things considered, it didn't seem like a bad idea at all. 4-1 didn't seem to agree. She gave him a flat look, as if the answer should be obvious. "He'd eat you for breakfast." Sa Wol paused for a beat but, really, the only thing he could think to say was: "I mean, wouldn't that be the whole point?" 4-1 let out a choked noise that sounded outright painful.

SA WOL, NO.

But also, kudos on being so goddamn shameless.

❌ What’s a trope you will never write?

I'm not sure if there is one? Because, sure, I'm not personally into mpreg or A/B/O but I can't say I'll never write them. Like, if someone gave me enough money to write those tropes, I probably would. We get money where we can in this economy xD

I think the closest I come to a complete "I refuse to write this" are the things I find triggering or just don't agree with on a moral level. So I'd have a hard time glorifying abuse, for example, or write something that involves incest or non-con between a romantic couple. The kind where transgressions are eventually forgiven or brushed aside because "they actually love them and it was just a mistake" and that kind of stuff.

There's a reason why I'm so determined to call out Yo Han's bullshit in my Devil Judge fics, for example, and why Moon Jo is such a lovesick simp in my Strangers From Hell fic. I find them to be incredibly fascinating as characters, but I admit I would never be able to write them doing something along those lines. They both skirt the line from time to time — which is sort of the point in some ways — but I try to criticise the behaviour rather than excuse or glorify it.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

I kind of mentioned all of them when I did the WIP Tag Game not too long ago, so you can see what they are and read about them if you look at this tag right here!

But aside from that, I can say that I'm currently trying to edit and post chapter six of A New Dawn (Begins With Us), and, after that, I'm going to try and edit chapter 3 of The Right Set of Circumstances, and, after that, I... well, I don't know x'D I'll either try to edit Thou Shalt Not Covet or maybe I'll allow myself to write chapter 42 of Who Holds the Devil.

I'm kind of holding that chapter hostage right now since I HATE editing and would much rather write — it's just so much more fun. But if I only wrote and didn't edit, I would never post anything, so I kind of have to force myself to edit from time to time, too.

And it's extra annoying right now since I'm so feverish and that just makes editing ten times worse for some reason?

So yeah. I have a lot going on right now in terms of WIPs and it's kind of beginning to feel like a second job, not going to lie x'D

Thank you so much for the ask! :D

Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask

[jackinalex]

Would love to hear your thoughts on Glitter & Crimson. It’s about Jalex isn’t it

I really gotta stop mentioning things I'm afraid people will latch onto. Sigh. But tbh, I've been wanting an excuse to use my English teacher knowledge to analyze the shit out of that song in particular. If you took an AP English class, you know that it's 90% bullshitting you're way through claims and that is absolutely why I am who I am. This is so fucking long, dude.

I spent an embarrassing amount of time on this. Like I literally printed out the lyrics and annotated it like I was in college. But this is my shit, y’all. I love to analyze things. So, there’s a few different ways that I went about this: what the literary devices mean vs. what Alex (the liar) says the song means vs. the Jalex conspiracy theories that keep me in Delululand. Please scroll on if you don’t want to read about me being delusional about Jalex. Also, the very, very last of this is where we get into the absolute most delusional theory I have, so scroll to the bottom if that’s all you want. 

Let’s start off with what Alex has said about the song so that it can provide us at least a little context. Alex told Apple Music: “To me, this song is about two characters who are deeply in love, whose love is not allowed to be that by [a certain] society. They’re gay, and they don’t feel like they’re accepted in their own skin for who they are, or for who they want to love. It’s a cry out to seize that power back and saying, ‘No. You don’t get to dictate how we live our lives.’ Obviously, I can’t speak to that, being a straight guy, but I know a lot of people who live that experience every day. And it was something that felt very meaningful that I wanted to address for them because they can’t [in this way]. They aren’t songwriters.” This is less helpful context-wise, but he also told Kerrang: “This was dramatic to record (laughs). It was one of the last songs we wrote – in fact, it might have been the very last one. The record was almost done, but I felt like there were a couple of missing pieces. We actually went out to Big Bear [Lake, in California] – me, Jack, Zakk and Andrew. We rented a cabin and locked ourselves away for a minute. As we recorded Glitter & Crimson, it was one of those moments where we went, ‘Oh, thank god! We’ve got the thing that we were missing!’ I think the performance in the bridge is me almost knowing that it was the last take. It’s like when the director is about to call, ‘That’s a wrap!’ and everybody is like, ‘Holy shit!’ You feel that swell of relief and appreciation for getting through it.”

Most importantly, during the Wake Up, Sunshine Twitch Listening Party, Alex literally says he wrote G & C about Jack (starts at 1:36:26). Idc if he's joking, bro. It's good enough for me.

I guess the best way to go about the analysis is just to go lyric-by-lyric. Then, I’ll go a bit deeper into more of the bigger symbols. I want to preface this by saying that Alex probably did not mean for a lot of these things to mean what I’ve interpreted them to mean. And when I say I interpreted them, I mainly mean that I took what was given to me and recalled the connotations that these words carry (that was so wordy; idek if that made sense). 

It’s a typical story, three in the morning

You’re holding my head. 

To me, this seems fairly literal. Sitting with another person at 3 in the morning with them holding your head is really intimate. It could be after sex or just an intense conversation. I think that this is one of the lines that points toward this song being about a gay couple the most. I know he doesn’t specify what gender the couple is, but since Alex simply cannot write a song without inserting himself, I’m guessing they’re dudes. The holding my head kind of gives off that vibe to me, too. Anyone can hold anyone’s head, of course, but something about it just gives me the image of a guy holding a guy’s head. No matter how you spin it (head on the shoulder, head on the lap, etc.) it is super intimate, which means that this is a situation between two people who are very close. It’s vulnerable, too. There’s also the idiom “to hold something over someone’s head,” but I do think that the meaning here is literal. The idiom doesn’t make sense here. We gotta remember that Jack and Alex (and Zakk and Andrew) wrote this song together at a lake house. Every time I hear the opening lines, I think about Jack and Alex being together at 3 am in the lake house in one of those bedrooms, Jack holding Alex’s head. 🥺 

Caught in the tension, silent confessions

At the foot of your bed

The tension line could be in reference to the relationship, which we know is not accepted by those around them. It could also just be another reference to sex lol. I’m leaning more toward the former, though. I think the silent confessions depend on where the couple is at in their relationship. If they’re established, I think it’s probably a confession of love (like, we’ve been seeing each other, but I’m actually in love with you). But if it’s in the very early stages, the confession could be the confession of feelings. These two people are really close, so if they’re not yet a couple, then they’re definitely best friends. “At the foot of your bed” makes me think about sex again lol (specifically head because…Yeah). 

Glitter and crimson, fighting the friction

What a perfect mess

Glitter and crimson are massive metaphors/symbols in this song, so I’m going to hold off on going too far into that just yet. For now, we can discuss how the two are contrasting. Glitter is pretty and can symbolize the beautiful things in life (it can symbolize a lot of other things, too, which we will get to, promise). Crimson, on the other hand, often represents blood and violence (and a lot of other things, too), so this is one of the first instances of conflicting ideas and feelings. The two ideas come together despite being opposites. “Fighting the friction” could be another reference to tension, whether it’s conflict brought about because of societal pressure, or sexual tension. It could even be both. 

While I know that Alex definitely wasn’t trying to reference pride or the history of it, the mention of glitter was an excellent way of doing so. Glitter has a rich history with the LGBT community. It is tied with queer nightlife and the performance arts of drag, burlesque, and cabaret. In the past, it was a way to signal queer identity to other queer people, a practice that some people use to this day. It was also used as a kind of beauty and/or gender defiance when men were ostracized for presenting femininely and women were ostracized for presenting masculinely (Dorwart). Overall, glitter can also symbolize fakeness, materialism, greed, treasure, and excitement. In the instance of the lyric, I tend to think that the glitter is representative of the beauty of the situation, but also having to hide the relationship (the “characters” are being fake by hiding their relationship. 

While crimson can symbolize blood, violence, anger, warning or revenge (which is what I believe its main purpose is with the lyric), it can also represent vigor, passion, love, and courage. I definitely think that love and passion are an important part of this, too. Every facet of this relationship is intense, whether it be a negative or positive thing. This is also hedging into Delululand, but crimson (it’s called red in the flag, but the shade is definitely crimson) was one of the colors of the original pride flag, representing life. I’m certain that Alex was not thinking of the pride flag when he wrote this song, but there are so many references that he did accidentally that this song could be a gay anthem tbh. 

With the “perfect mess” line, Alex has given us an oxymoron and another example of contrast. The two words are technically opposites, but when they come together, they create a new meaning. In the narrative, this refers to the relationship feeling so good and right to the guys, but not allowed by society, those around them, and even maybe themselves. If we look at it through a Jalex lens, the “mess” could easily be the conflict between them having feelings for one another and the pressures of the band and their friendship (a very classic fanfic trope for a good reason). There’s a lot to lose if things don’t work out, so there’s a very real question of whether pursuing a relationship is worth it. As we’ll get to later, it definitely seems like it is to them. 

I wonder if you feel kinda like I feel

Temporary

These lines feel fairly literal to me. To feel temporary means to feel impermanent or uncertain. I think that both could be prevalent here. I also think that those feelings pertain to both the relationship and just their lives in general. It feels like the relationship can’t last because that’s what society tells them, and the uncertainty comes from not knowing if they even want it to (because they too are influenced by society). Alex has always written a lot about existentialism and these two lines strongly evoke that concept (which, to me, is more proof of the song being written from his perspective vs some “character” but we’ll get into more instances of that later). 

Fixed on a moment just out of focus

And we can’t quite see 

Being us ain’t good for us

I put these three lines together because they finish out the first verse and because there is significant enjambment, too. The first line is literal in the sense that the two characters (air quotes) in the song are trying to imagine what a good life together could be like, but they’re struggling too because that future seems so impossible (as we see with the second line). However, “and we can’t quite see” also brings into the second idea here. They can’t see the future and it also seems like being themselves and together isn’t good for them (probably because it’s dangerous for a lot of queer people in the world, even still). That leads us into the chorus, which is where we get to the cry out of the chorus. 

And I don’t wanna wait till the sunshine fades

And bury our love in a shallow grave 

Sunshinesymbolized happiness and life, so by the sunshine fading, that has to do with the beauty and goodness of the relationship wearing off (whether that be due to societal pushback or just conflict between the two guys). Sunshine is also what the yellow represented on the original pride flag. Again, I do not think that Alex ever intentionally referenced the flag, but…Anyway, it could also just be a little wink to the album itself “Wake Up Sunshine” or the song on the album. That song is also about existentialism to a certain extent, though it’s directed toward someone else and not about the narrator’s issues with it. Meanwhile, typically, shallow graves are done hastily by criminals (not always, but that’s what it is most associated with) because they don’t take much time or effort to dig. Alex (and Jack; Jesus, I keep forgetting he helped write this song) probably chose to pair these two lines because they almost have the same amount of syllables (11 vs. 10), but it’s also possible that he chose this specific phrase because being gay was a criminal offense for years. A shallow grave also indicates urgency and haphazardness, which would mean that the burial would probably be unplanned and quick. The narrator (Alex) is clear about not wanting that. 

Cause the world could be cruel to us or

We could live for the dangerous so

Let’s start, let’s start a riot

Just like a few lines ago, I included these three together for the enjambment. The first line is straightforward, supporting the idea of society being unaccepting to the couple. When we put it with the second line, it’s reiterating that though the world is cruel, they could live for it instead of being afraid of it. When we pair the second line with the third, the narrator is saying that he wants to stop being afraid and instead embrace and fight for what he and his lover have. It is impossible for me to ignore the term “riot” being used here in a queer context because the first pride was a riot! I’m sure most of you know about the Stonewall riots, but if not, here’s a bit of background: there was a small dive bar in NYC called the Stonewall Inn, which LGBT+ frequented. In an article entitled "The First Pride Was a Riot: The Origins of Pride Month” for American University Washington DC, Patty Housman writes: 

 At the time there existed outdated “masquerade” or “cross-dressing” laws that suggested a “man” or a “woman” must be wearing a certain number of clothing items that matched the gender on their state-issued ID. The police took advantage of these laws to raid drinking establishments and arrest transgender and gender non-conforming individuals. Just after midnight on June 28, 1969, the police raided the Stonewall Inn like they had many times before. Only, this time, something unusual happened: Stonewall patrons fought back.

There are conflicting stories about what actually happened, but essentially queer people fought back against the police brutality that had been plaguing them for quite some time. They were targeted, attacked, humiliated, arrested, and even worse, and they were fed up. Since this event took place in June, we now celebrate in America every June. And again, I’m sure that Alex and Jack didn’t intend to reference Stonewall, but I’m deep into queer theory now, so there’s no going back. Sometimes meanings can appear in works without the original composer even realizing it. Long story short, the riot is a way to take power back, whether it be the metaphorical riot in this song or the proverbial riots at Stonewall. And since this is supposed to be a queer song that references a riot, Stonewall must be discussed. 

Hard to sit still when your head’s on fire 

Oh, oh yeah

The saying “my head’s on fire” means that one is stressed or overwhelmed. However, “your head’s on fire” indicates that someone is lying. Therefore, I think this line has a dual meaning. I think that it references both here because a) the narrator is frustrated with having to hide his love from society, but it can also indicate that they’ve been lying (i.e, hiding their relationship). “Hard to sit still” calls back to the riot idea. It can be difficult to sit idly by when you know for sure that something is wrong. The narrator is tired of sitting around and hiding their relationship. 

‘Cause I’m a supernova 

And you’re my four leaf clover

These two symbols are the most important (besides glitter and crimson) in the entire song. This is entirely metaphor; there’s nothing literal in these two lines. The narrator compares himself to a supernova, which is the greatest explosion humans have ever seen. They are the “extremely bright and super powerful explosion of a star.” Supernovas signify destruction and renewal, so the narrator is seeking a new beginning of some sort. On the other hand, four-leaf clover have always symbolized luck, but they can also represent protection and the uncommon. Traditionally, each leaf of a four leaf clover signified something different: hope, faith, luck, and charity. Therefore, the narrator sees his lover as somewhat of a good luck charm. He’s different from others, but he’s everything to the narrator. 

This is where I get the most Delulu, so just keep that in mind as you’re reading. I’m now going to argue that the supernova represents Alex and the four-leaf clover represents Jack. I’m not pulling this completely out of my ass, I promise. Alex is obsessed with space. He brings it up every chance he gets and if you listened to Full Frontal, you know how annoying it could get lmao. Point is, the man loves some fucking space, okay? To Alex, Jack has always represented goodness. Nothing sums it up better than his birthday post for him here. He literally sees him as a “bright light in this weird world” and loves him “times a million.” But there’s been countless instances of Alex singing Jack’s praises (and even more of Jack singing Alex’s). This last tour, Jack’s been spending every moment trying to make Alex happy and keep him laughing, and ya know, Alex can lie all he wants and say that “Kill Ur Vibe” isn’t about Jack, but it absolutely fucking is, even if he doesn’t know that. Alex sees himself as a supernova and Jack as a four-leaf clover. Jack is not only a rarity, but also just a constant sign of goodness in Alex’s life and that, my dudes, is fucking beautiful. 

There is also a specific species of clover called crimson clover. I doubt that Alex thought about this while they were writing this song, but when I started working on this analysis, it occurred to me that I’d heard the two phrases before in a Lana del Rey song. And if you guys know Jack, he loves Lana. In “Venice Bitch,” she has a line that says, “Me myself, I like diamonds//My baby crimson and clover.” This line is a reference to the song “Crimson & Clover” by Tommy James and the Shondells. It’s a song about the potential for loving someone and what a relationship could be. I don’t know if there was any thinking about this song during the writing of G & C, but it’s interesting how the two songs are essentially about the same thing (just in different contexts). G & C is about the potential for loving someone and what a relationship could be, but through a more cynical lens (at first). The use of the ampersand in both songs is curious, too. I don’t doubt that Alex is aware of this song, but I don’t know that it had much of an influence on it. I do love the idea that Alex wrote about crimson and clover in the same song for Jack (who loves Lana) or even that it was Jack’s idea in the first place. It’s just cute. 

Crimson clover doesn’t have a ton of ideas associated it with it, but some people tend to see it as a sign of growth, resilience, love, and affection. The latter two are probably related to it being red and I would assume that the Tommy James and the Shondells song helped with that connotation, too. It’s the growth and resilience that really intrigues me, though. They grow throughout the winter, which is fascinating and definitely lets that resilience ring true. If we’re to link those concepts to the song, the narrator believes that their relationship is resilient and growing, maturing in a way that it necessary for them to thrive. Winter can symbolize hard, rough times, and so the narrator views their relationship as troubled (whether it be because of the way they’re viewed or because of their own issues), but resilient and able to survive the difficult times. 

Time to stop being insane about the last two lines and get into the second verse and bridge. 

Heavy as ever, light as a feather 

I’m caught in between

“Light as a feather” is a common idiom (and synonym) for having very light weight and/or being light and free. Here, the narrator is contrasting the feeling of being free and light because they’re so happy with their lover with the fact that he also feels “heavy,” which means hard to endure or emotionally taxing. When used literally, heavy refers to something being hard to carry because of its weight. So while the narrator is happy, he is also sad and probably anxious and unsure because of the oppression he and his lover are facing. The second line is telling us that verbatim; he is torn between focusing on being happy with his lover and the negative feelings associated with their sexualities and relationship. 

Hard to stay focused, process the progress

How long can we be

Happy if happy ain’t meant for us 

This calls back to the lines before it. Again, it’s hard for the narrator to focus on how happy the relationship makes him because of how bad society and oppression makes him feel. “Process the progress” probably means that it’s difficult for him to focus on how much their relationship has grown because of how anxious he also is. Progress is also a term used frequently with LGBTQ+ issues. We use “progress” to describe how things have improved for queer folks in the last few decades. I think the narrator could be referring to that, as well, that it’s hard to look at how much progress has been made as a society when things are still bad (especially for trans folks). The second and third lines see the narrator expressing his anxiety again. Yes, he’s very happy with his lover, but society is constantly telling him that they won’t work out, and he’s worried that some part of that is right.

Cause being less ain’t good enough

But being us feels good to us

To be less means not as good or esteemed as someone else. In this sense, I take it as the narrator saying that he has been suppressing part of himself (his sexuality and relationship), since to suppress part of yourself makes you “less,” in a way (I hope that makes sense). Essentially, if you’re not presenting all of yourself, part of you is missing, hence “less.” The narrator says that being less isn’t good enough, which I take as meaning that not being their full, authentic selves is not enough, and by enough, he means he doesn’t want to settle for hiding their relationship in the way that they have been. And besides, with the line, “being us feels good to us,” the narrator is expressing that being with his lover feels right despite all of the anxiety he feels. 

I’m skipping the chorus, obviously, so let’s get into the bridge. 

No compromise, no second best

There’s no stopping now, this weight on my chest

This is the beginning of the cry out in which the couple takes their power back. No compromise means no more suppressing themselves, which reminds me a lot of the old idea of gay people being allowed to exist and be with their partners at home and in LGBT+ spaces, but nowhere else. The narrator is saying that he’s not doing this anymore. This could be what “second best” is, whereas the best situation would be where they are accepted and allowed to be themselves everywhere, though I do wonder if second best could also refer to the concept of “playing straight,” which is where queer people date only people of the opposite sex in order to fit societal norms. People have historically done this to stay alive. It’s not as common anymore, but it’s definitely something that still happens. This could be a reference to the men dating (or even marrying) women in order to hide their sexuality and not ruffle society’s feathers. 

The narrator is putting an end to whatever the compromise and second best are, though. He’s going to be open and honest with himself, his lover, and the world, and that’s what the “no stopping now” refers to. He’s done pretending and making himself lesser to make other people comfortable. “The weight on my chest” is the huge uncertainty and anxiety of his relationship. He’s getting rid of it. It could also be anticipation, though, which would be the anticipation of taking his power back. It’s an important, hard thing that is going to change the course of his life forever. 

I won’t settle down, won’t settle for less

I won’t settle for less, I won’t settle for less

I think this is pretty literal. The narrator is not going to sit down and be quiet (and thus, hide his authentic self), and he’s not going to settle for anything but being his authentic self. I do think that the “won’t settle down” could be read as an allusion to Stonewall, since the queer folks that protested those three days were constantly told to just calm down for many years before they finally fought back. “Settle down” could also be a reference to playing straight since settling down often entails getting married to someone of the opposite sex and having children (*I look into the camera like I’m on a mockumentary*). This could also mean that the narrator is not going to be with a woman to appease society. They utilize parallelism (and thusly, repetition) here. Repetition is almost always utilized to emphasize a feeling or idea, create rhythm, and/or develop a sense of urgency. I definitely believe that the use of repetition here is used for emphasis. Not settling is an important theme of the song. Parallelism is also used to create emphasis, but also to create flow between lines, which is always necessary for songs. I’m sure there’s probably more literary devices in the song, but I doubt you guys want me to go too much farther into that lol. 

To sum up, the song is rich with metaphors and allusions (even if Alex wasn’t aware of the latter when they were writing it). I think it has the potential of being a great queer anthem. I don’t know that it will ever become that, but all of these possible references to pride and Stonewall are so fucking good (even if it’s just from happenstance). This may make me totally fucking insane, but I can’t ignore the fact that Alex wrote this song with Jack at a cabin in Big Bear, the album was released, and then like eight months later, Alex and Lisa were split up. Then, like another month passed, and Alex was living with Jack. I’m aware that I’m delusional, but this isn’t even me speculating; I’m just reporting events in the order they happened. Take that as you will. 

Works Cited 

Dorwart, Laura. “Inside the Fascinating History of Glitter and Gay Culture.” Byrdie, 15 February 2022. https://www.byrdie.com/history-of-glitter.

Patty Housman. “The First Pride Was a Riot: The Origins of Pride Month.” American University Washington D.C.,10 June 2022. 

“What Is a Supernova?” NASA, NASA, 23 July 2021, spaceplace.nasa.gov/supernova/en/. 

[jazzpostsrandomthings]

Journey Retold: The Three Grand Companies

<< Previous Entry

Woops! A full month has passed since I last wrote for this series, my bad. Was busy with exams (aced the last one yesterday) and witnessing my friend go through Shadowbringers for the first time. I have a lot more free time now so I can finally continue Journey Retold!

There will be a preamble of sorts next, feel free to skip around until you see a text written in purple.

One of my friends told me that I should shorten the names of the players when I am inserting their messages into these posts. His suggestion was to shorten "The player of the self-proclaimed Emo Catboy" to "Emo Catboy" for example and he has a point, but I am not going to. I wanted to switch to a format of "The player of [WoL Full Name]" actually, but I had to make a choice against it out of my respect for the privacy of my dear first friend I've made through the game upon their own request so I am not going to do the switch because otherwise they would stand out like a sore thumb.

Another reason why I don't want to shorten the names like this is that... I feel like it's important to point out that there is a real person behind each of these characters. I find it one of the coolest and most magical things about FFXIV and MMO genre as a whole, and for an extravert like me who only goes outside for studies it just holds a lot of weight. Not all interactions with these player characters and people behind them themselves might be pleasant, it's a double-edged sword all multiplayer games and social medias even have to deal with, but an overwhelming majority of these interactions have brought me joy and laughs and it all just feels more real than just interacting with someone over Discord DMs and such.

The issue of the player names being too long in these posts during the messaging segments is real so from now on I will shorten it to "TPo [simple character description]", like "TPo Emo Catboy" or "TPo stern Auri man". That should do it.

...

OK, where did we stop last time? Ah, right, Ifrit.

Pi had slayed a monstrocity from the deep depths of hell yaaaaaaay.

I picked the msq back up the next day, judging from the screenshots' date. The word of Pi's conquest over the Lord of Inferno had spread quickly, like a wildfire, and the officers of the three Grand Companies had arrived to the Waking Sands, wanting to have Ifrit's bane to themselves. I was hit with a choice between these three Grand Companies, i.e. Limsa Lominsa's Maelstrom, Gridania's Order of Twin Adders and Ul'dah's Immortal Flames. And I wanted to join Maelstrom right away because I like Merl-- I mean, I like Limsa and I am the most familiar with it, but I was open to seeing what can other two city-states offer and thus I had set for Ul'dah first.

Raubahn entered the scene, as well as a cute lalafell woman wearing a weird dress that honestly makes her look like a bowling pin when she stands, I am sorry. That lalafell, Nanamo Ul Namo, is the sultana of Ul'dah by the way and it was my first time seeing her.

Their combined speech was very strong, talking about their glory and wealth (both in monetary fortune as well as the spiritual) and how they laid low the VIIth Imperial Legion five years ago.

For Victory and Fortune, stride fearless into the inferno, for we are by fire reborn!

Some young and kinda familiar gentleman had something to say about that last line:

So that's how it happened. How soon history forgets.

The speech was met with a round of applause and cheering, and like I've said before, the speech itself was very strong, I actually started to think that maybe Flames can win me over. Then the twins (or rather one of them) decide to speak to me to explain some things that were kinda glossed over in the grand speech, mentioning the refugee problem and their relationship with Amalj'aa that keep summoning Ifrit and costing many soldiers' their lives.

Next up was Gridania. The speech was mainly presented by Kan-E but her brother and sister (and also another seedseer) were also present, even if they didn't say anything.

The Elder Seedseer's speech was about peace and harmony. She talked about uniting Eorzea to fight the Empire and to protect the place that have been their home for almost five centuries.

And together, let us heal the forest's wounds, that our progeny might live in harmony beneath these ancient boughs. For serenity, purity, and sanctity!

I liked the speech as well, but it wasn't as memorable and strong as Raubahn's and I felt like this would be the Grand Company Pi would most likely side with canonically since he is mostly pacifistic and he wishes for the fighting to stop so there could be peace. Alphinaud chimed in again, mentioning how Gridania has to deal with two beast tribes, Ixal and sylphs, and how all the fighting they do is in self-defense. He also mentioned that their lands have been hurt the most by the Calamity which only complicated things for them and soon their bickering with the beast tribes can turn into an all-out war which is why they might need more people to deal with it when the time comes.

Now, all that remained was Limsa Lominsa.

Merlwyb's speech was about freedom, how their nation was fighting for it for seven centuries since they came to La Noscea and how they would like to keep their freedom until their very last breath.

And with the guidance of the Navigator, this great vessel of ours shall ride the waves till sea swallows all!

Alphinaud spoke to Pi once more, mentioning that Lominsans have a lot of blood feuds betweens the factions that comprise the city-state, not to mention the two beast tribes, kobold and Sahagin that both want to take the place for themselves and are planning on summoning their respective Primals to help them with that. All that made them quite an easy target for Garleans which is why they would be needing more men soon, "drenching the Maelstrom standard a deeper shade of crimson ere long".

Freedom is also something that Pi as a character have been craving for because of his passion for travel and exploring, but he wasn't the person to kill somebody for it... but I didn't want to disappoint Merlwyb so I ended up choosing Maelstrom in the end. Sorry Kan-E and Raubahn ;w;

Next up we see Alphinaud and his twin sister Alisaie talk about the speeches between themselves. The sister says how those remembrance ceremonies (because yes, these speeches were dedicated for those celebrations) didn't talk much about the Calamity and were mostly about "standart-waving rallies" while the brother remarks how they didn't even mention the Warriors of Light, as if they chose to omit their deeds in saving their realm in order to move on from the Calamity. Alisaie did not agree that was a right choice.

She couldn't stand it all and chose to find a different way "to cute ails of this world", the twins going their own separate ways. For now, at least.

And then it was the time to get my chocobo.

Say hello to Eorzean Axl by the name of Gingerhead. I made him into Pi's horsebird lol.

Then I did the next msq quest which was Sylph Management which allowed me to unlock Summoner and Scholar. I went on to do... Summoner one before continuing the main story.

"Huh? But didn't you choose Arcanist to then unlock a Healer job?" Yes, I did, but I realized that I actually have a Healer anxiety and that I probably won't play as a Healer much anyway, plus beating MSQ as a Healer will be pain so YUP, I chose violence.

First chain of SMN quests was OK. Kinda cool, but not memorable. Even thought our quest companion was Y'shtola's sister.

And to conclude this entry, have this hilarious screenshot.

We will be dealing with sylphs next.

[soft-for-yoongi]

Hi I know you mostly wrote for Jungkook, but now that Hobi is in military service I have missed him most, and lately I can't find new Fics to read. So is it possible to ask for one where Hoseok is sick, probably not that bad, but you know, a bad bug a lot of tummy ache and a lot of vomiting?

If it's possible I would love for Jungkook to be the caretaker, like for example Hoseok visiting Jungkook in his home, but he already has a bad bug, and while doing karaoke or something to spend their day together Hobi has like first a lot of tummy noises and upsets, like his belly really hurts, but he tells Kookie he just ate too much, but then he starts throwing up on Jks bathroom and he is ashamed to be messing his bathroom but his cute bunny friend just reassured him, and now feels honored to be able to take care of his older bro.

If this is imposible sorry about this ask and feel free to ignore me!!

Thanks for all your great works out there!! I'm enjoying them so much!! 🫶🏽

Hobi-hyung? (Sick HS)

--------------------------------

Sick: Hoseok

Caretaker: Jungkook

Tw: vom*****, mentions of nausea, stomach pain, descriptions of illness, fevers, emeto

Word count: 870

(AH, this is for all the armys missing J-hope 🫶 I will forever love that man)

(Thanks for the submission nonnie!!!!! I loved this!! I'm glad you're enjoying my works!!! It means a lot 🥰)

(I'm a bit nervous because this is my first time writing sick Hobi 🤧)

-------------------------------

Hoseok, the ray of sunshine he is, has always been making the effort to come over and visit each of his members. Now with the solo projects, they have reduced to mainly messaging each other, but of course, J-hope has to vist them every other week at least. They're his brothers after all.

A couple hours before heading to Jungkook's house, a dull ache formed in Hoseok's stomach, he took some medicine and a few antacids and hoped that would do it. Now at Jungkook's house, his stomach is still hurting but he easily keeps it from showing visibly on his face.

"Euphorrriiiaaaaaaa~~~ ha~~~ ha~ hæă~~" Jungkook cackles at Hoseok's attempt to hit the notes of his song, butchering it only slightly. Although, when his voice is warmed up, the rapper proves to be a decent vocalist.

Jungkook continues the song with minimal effort, it's muscle memory for the younger anyways. With Jungkook distracted, Hoseok palms his stomach, giving it a soft rub. He then takes a sip out of his beer, probably a bad idea. His mouth is lined with a strange coating, making him feel icky and sick.

Jungkook continues singing another song and Hoseok forces himself to bust a few moves, doing whatever comes to mind. He doesn't want to over exert himself but also doesn't want to worry Jungkook.

The two of them dance and sing along to music, Jungkook's silky voice and Hoseok's (sightly) strained one. Eventually they're both puffed out and Jungkook pauses the music. Well Hoseok is a little more than puffed out, his middle started cramping and all the movements are riling up his stomach. They sit on the couch, sipping their drinks. A relative silence falls over them and Hoseok's stomach gives a menacing gurgle.

Jungkook's eyebrows go up, "was that your stomach, hyung?" The youngest giggles, "oh–yeah I think I ate too much." Hoseok laughs, hoping Jungkook won't look into it. The youngest gives him sceptical look but seems to brush it off. Although Hoseok's hand glued to his middle doesn't help convince Jungkook that he's fine.

"You want an antacid or something, hyung?" Jungkook asks, eyes on the tv as he scrolls for something they can watch. There's mild concern in his voice but Jungkook knows Hoseok can run into tummy issues from time to time.

"Yeah actually, are they in the bathroom?" Hoseok replies and by Jungkook's face, he didn't expect the older to take up his offer. "Yep, I'll show you. It's in one of the cupboards." Jungkook stands and Hoseok follows him to the hall bathroom.

While Jungkook rummages through various drawers and cabinets, Hoseok has to hold the edge of the counter to not fold in half as his stomach clenches. It feels like it's trying to turn inside out and Hoseok cringes. His breath hitches and 3/4 of the colour is drained from Hoseok's face.

"Ah! Here it is—they should make you feel better, Hobi-hyung—woah, are you okay? You've gone pale hyung?" Jungkook frowns, concerned as he watches Hoseok attempt to smile. The rapper opens his mouth to reassure the youngest but quickly spins around and lifts the toilet seat up.

Hoseok coughs before a wet gag seizes him. Jungkook is flustered but is quick to sooth his hyung. He traces along his spine and rubs Hoseok's sides. "Let it out hyung. You should've told me you were feeling this bad..." Jungkook pouts. Hoseok feels terrible, sick to his stomach but also guilty that he's sick in Jungkook's house and the younger has to take care of him.

Hoseok winces and his stomach cramps up before sending a wave of puke into the toilet. It startles Hoseok and Jungkook. "That's it, you'll feel better." Jungkook reels his mind for other things he can do to help his hyung and suddenly becomes aware of the unnatural heat coming from under Jungkook's palm.

He places a hand on the older's forehead in time for him to jerk with more vomit. "You have a fever, Hobi-hyungie..." Jungkook says, sad he hadn't noticed the older's condition earlier. "Don't—don't worry, k-Kook I'm fine–" the dancer tries, failing and throwing himself back over the toilet.

"Don't say silly things Hobi-hyung." Jungkook says, fetching a thermometer from the medicine cabinet, eyeing Hoseok so he doesn't fall into the toilet water. Hoseok gets a small break and pants quietly. His stomach is churning and still hurts, usually a bad sign. He feels something press into the centre of his forehead and a beep that follows. "38.7° well, that's not good." Jungkook says, mainly to himself.

"I'm sorry Kook-ah.." Hoseok slurs, grabbing a wad of toilet paper and cleaning up his mouth and the toilet seat. "I've made a mess of your bathroom.." the older says, guilt laced in his voice.

"Ayy, hyungie. Don't say that. I'm honoured to take care of you and my bathroom needed cleaning anyway, don't worry about it." Jungkook smiles, pulling Hoseok into a side-hug.

"Cmere hyung, let's get you into bed and medicated." Jungkook's muscles flex as he assists Hoseok off the floor. Hoseok feels a rush of gratitude that they all taught Jungkook so well. To be so caring and accommodating.

"Thank you, Kookie."

"You're welcome, hyung."

[eventhedevilsafraid]

Not a proper Jedi

Summary: You are having a hell of a day. The last week has left you exhausted. A manic depressive episode, followed by a full day panic attack, followed by a, blessedly brief, anxiety attack has left you struggling to even attempt to person today. Your best friend finds you in your room, and decides to try and make it better. 

Warnings: MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY. MENTAL ILLNESSES: Manic Depression, Severe Panic disorder, Body dysmorphic disorder. mentions of medication. Talks of suicide, briefly. Plus sized reader. Obi-Wan being sweet. Mainly fluff and angst. Lots of tears and confessions. Flashbacks. No Y/N, not a big fan of it, but endearing nicknames and one not endearing nickname is used. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU GET TRIGGERED BY MENTAL ILLNESSES, SUICIDE TALKS, OR ANYTHING OF THE LIKE. 

Word Count: 1900+ 

A/N: This is just part one. If you would like more please let me know I haven’t been in the best head space to work on my other story, so I just wrote this up to try and get those emotions out. I hope you guys like it! 

Walking into the mess hall for mid-day meal, you entered the line behind a couple of knights a year or two older than you. You grabbed your tray and followed the flow of the line, reaching for a deep-fried nuna leg. Before you could grab it, the female knight of the pair in front of you snatched it. 

“I don’t really think you need anything deep-fried, do you, huttlet?” The insult stung, but you elected not to respond, and just kept moving along in the line. Next up on the line was sliced meiloorun, and again you reached for it and actually had your hand on it, but again it was snatched from you.

 “It’s the last one. You don’t mind, do you? I mean, you look like you could do without the sweets, right, huttlet?” She laughed and before you could actually respond this time, she walked away, still giggling to herself and her companion. Hurt and still hungry, you went to the salad bar and grabbed one at random. Placing it on your tray, you looked around the mess hall for a place to sit. 

Finding an empty table in the far back of the room, you made your way there, grabbing silverware and a glass of blue milk on the way. Sitting down in the chair that faced away from the rest of the room, you just wanted to eat and go back to training before anything else happened. 

You opened the salad box, and saw you grabbed a berberian crab salad. A rarity for the kitchen to make since the Nabooian ingredients weren’t shipped to them often, and you absolutely loved it. You quickly started eating, trying to just finish and get out of there as fast as you could. Unfortunately, sitting with your back to the room and engrossed in your thoughts, you didn’t notice the small group of females gathered behind you. A mixture of knights older, same age, and younger than you stood behind you, intentions very non-Jedi like. You stood and turned to face the group surrounding you, slipping your hands into your robe pockets and flicking on your holo-recorder.

“Look at what we have here, a huttlet with a salad. Why didn’t you just skip meals today? You could stand to lose the weight, you know. A disgrace to the Order, you’re so big it’s no wonder you don’t go on off world missions. I’d be terrified the ship wouldn’t lift off the ground if I were you.” Snickers were surrounding you, making you feel boxed in. “I don’t know if you know this, but the only reason you have ‘friends’ is because they pity you. No one in their right mind would be friends with you.” She glanced at the girls behind her with a wicked grin and more snickers sounded, and you finally couldn’t take it anymore. 

“I may be a bit bigger than you, but at least I don’t have the face and personality of a wet gundark.” You stood up, and as you went to walk by them the ringleader shifted and stood in front of you. 

“Who do you think you are, insulting me? The council loves me. I can just tell them you told me, in confidence, that you have broken your Oath and who do you think they will believe? Me, the perfect Jedi Knight, or you, the disgusting, fat, Jedi wanna-be?” A smug look rose on her face like she had won, but you had one more thing to say to her.

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe we should go do that right now, because I am sure Master Yoda would love to listen to the holo-recording I have of this interaction.” She paled and you smirked. “I suggest you leave me alone, or I will gladly turn it over. Now move out of my way, or I will make you.” You shoved through the group of stunned Knights, shoulder checking the ones who didn’t move and blocked your path. Before you fully escaped the group, her hand shot out and grabbed your wrist, gripping you a lot tighter than was necessary. Swinging around, you attempt to rip your hand out of her grip, but she was holding on too tight and it was starting to hurt. She walked a couple steps closer to get in your face.

“Don’t think this is over, you repulsive huttlet. I-,” She stopped her sentence short just as Master Mace Windu walked close.

“Hello, Dewdrop. We missed you at dinner last night. Is everything okay?” He looked at the small gathered group and noticed the young knight's hand was still latched to your wrist, and it looked like a painful hold. “Knight Verona. I strongly suggest you release your hold immediately. Physical contact without consent is assault, no matter how small, and if she so wishes, the council will hear of it.” He narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, waiting. ‘Verona’ quickly dropped your arm and glared daggers at you. 

You turned to Master Windu, “Thank you, Master. And I am sorry I missed dinner. It was a long night of training and then I got caught up in my meditation. By the time I resurfaced from the Force, it was well past dinner. Maybe I can make up for it and we can all meet tonight instead?” You knew it was petty. Showing off how well you knew the council in front of these hateful females, but you just wanted them to leave you alone. 

“That sounds lovely, Dewdrop. Come, let us go ask the others if they would like to join as well.” He drew his hand up in the direction of the door, and you looked back at the shocked knight's faces, nodded, and swept out of the room following the master who just saved you from harm.

“Thank you, Master. I am unsure as to what started that, or where it was headed, but I thank you anyways for helping me leave it.” He smiled down at you as you walked beside him. 

“Of course, the rest of the Council probably wouldn’t have been so kind.” You nodded in agreement. You and Master Windu met with the rest of the council members, with Masters Yoda, Plo Koon, Kit Fisto, Shaak Ti, Depa Billaba, and even Oppo Rancisis agreed to join you and Master Windu for dinner. The main purpose of these dinners were to check in with you, see how your medications were helping or hindering you, and letting you strengthen the ties to them in the Force to anchor you during your bad days. While attachment is forbidden, there was a special case with you.

When you were discovered, as a three year old child, to be Force-sensitive and brought to the temple you were adjusting well. As you grew in age, your power of the Force grew exponentially. When you were 14, you started showing signs of being mentally unwell after a mission went completely wrong and you master was killed, and you were held hostage, violently tortured, sexually assaulted, kept in a constant state of drugged compliance before you were rescued 29 days later. 

Master Yoda himself noticed you weren't well, and walked you to the Healing Halls to meet with the chief healer, Vokara Che. After many, many sessions of talking with the grandmaster and chief healer, you were diagnosed with manic depression and severe panic disorder with both panic and anxiety attacks. Unfortunately, mind healing didn’t take these away like you had hoped, so Master Che placed you on antidepressants and antianxiety medications. You had to go to the Healing Halls every three days at first. You had shown how dedicated you were to overcoming your ailments, logging in journals every attack, every episode, and roughly how long they lasted, and you now only went twice a month.

When your visits were decreased, you were told, explicitly, that the Halls were open to you if ever you needed. Master Che also informed the council, and an informal meeting was held that night. According to Vokara, when you were in a manic episode before, she was unable to help surface you, but after many trials and errors, she broke the code and tied her signature to yours in a desperate attempt to help you from harming yourself. When informed of this, the council was shocked, some were outraged she so blatantly disregarded the code to save one person. Master Yoda had weighed in then, stating how strong you were with the Force, how having the tie to Master Che helped you have longer periods of stabilization, and he proposed a secret special case. Encourage you to form bonds with other council members, encourage the council members to have open ears if you wanted to talk, and see if this could be brought forth to the rest of the Order, and make them stronger.

So far, the arrangement has worked out wonderfully. Unless you were specifically triggered, you could go months without an episode. But when an episode hit, you were flooded with hateful thoughts, you were irrationally angry, never slept until you passed out from exhaustion, and were constantly moving. When it finally subsided, you were hit with insanely strong panic attacks, and an anxiety attack followed that. The lengths and severities always differed, but normally lasted from 5 days to a week before you were finally able to see the other side again. Luckily, you were usually able to tell when one was about to start, the Force around you normally felt unstable, shaky. If others noticed and told you, you usually played it off as nerves, and then quickly excused yourself from whatever was going on. 

On your way back to your quarters, you would send word to someone on the council, whether through a holocall or a holomessage. They would inform Master Che, and then either Mace Windu or Yoda would show up to your quarters a couple hours later. They would stay in your living space and sink into the Force to exude a calm and peaceful signature, and wrap it around your entire apartment so that no matter where you were in the space, you felt the calming call from the Force. Never once when they were there did you attempt self-harm.

The times you were unable to get a message out to them before you lost yourself, you would race home and end up hiding in the corner of your bedroom. You would stare into space, frozen in place, but your mind never stopping. When the self-hating thoughts invaded you, unable to find peace, and sleep wasn’t an option, you would drag the razor along your skin. You had explained it before, though they never understood. It was a way for you to release the incessant thoughts that invaded your brain. If you didn’t contact them and they found out you had not been seen or heard from in a few hours, Masters Windu and Fisto would almost bust your door down to find you. Twice they had found you with cuts running along your arms and enough blood loss you were unconscious, but still barely alive. Once they had found you in the act, sobbing, with deep scratches running through your hair, along your temples, and down your face. You weren’t allowed to be alone for almost 3 months, and any object even marginally sharp enough to cut you wasn’t given back to you without supervision for almost a year.

[scribbly-artist]

Lazy Sunday

~900 words. No trigger warnings, just cute tickles on the couch.

Author’s Notes: Had a little burst of inspiration so I wrote a little something. It’s shorter this time, but I’m fine with that. :)

***

It was a lazy Sunday for Nathan and Kathleen as they both stared at the new show they started watching together. Kathleen was sitting up in her seat while Nathan lay sprawled across the couch, resting his head in Kathleen’s lap. They both enjoyed sitting like this and liked to take turns, as the other would usually fiddle with the other’s hair or give a nice little head massage. It was Nathan’s turn today as he snuggled into Kathleen’s lap, her fingers combing through his soft hair.

He was in heaven. He was almost like a cat, really. He leaned into the touch, his shoulders relaxing as he let out a content sigh. Kathleen looked down to his face as she smiled herself.

Neither of them were really paying attention to the show anymore, but this was all mainly for them to spend time with each other anyway.

Nathan closed his eyes as Kathleen continued to massage his scalp with her hand, moving to touch the side of his head. Stretching a little, Nathan got very comfortable.

However, what he wasn’t expecting was for Kathleen’s fingers to accidentally brush past his ear so delicately. He shot up in his seat as his eyes opened, letting out an unexpected squeak, goosebumps rising on his skin.

“…What was that?” Kathleen’s voice was filled with interested amusement.

“N-Nothing! It was nothing,” Nathan stammered, his cheeks dusting pink. “Just got a bit spooked.” He laid himself back down, head back onto her lap. She let out a little chuckle at his theatrics.

Now, because of all of this, Kathleen could hardly concentrate on the TV. She wanted her boyfriend to make that cute noise again. So, she continued giving him a nice little massage, playing with his hair. She needed to catch him off guard again, so she needed him to relax.

Nathan closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. Hook, line, sinker.

Her fingers ‘accidentally’ brushed past his ears again, a couple of giggles leaving his mouth as he brought one of his hands up to his head, grasping her hand. The blush on his cheeks only grew.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He questioned, looking up at the delight beaming on Kathleen’s face.

“Just trying to get you to relax, honey,” With her other hand free, she moved her wandering fingers to the bend at the base of his neck, scribbling her nails lightly on his skin.

Nathan reflexively shrugged his shoulder to try to block the ticklish feeling, biting his lip to not let anymore giggles through.

“Q-Quit it!” He squirmed. Kathleen tugged her other hand free and scribbled the other side of his neck very gently, making him squeak and scrunch up even more.

“Aww, so cute. Is someone just a little ticklish?” She teased, dodging his attempts at trying to stop her speedy digits. His face grew red as he started giggling a lot more.

“I— hehehe! Liked t-the massage behehetter!” He couldn’t hold himself back, he just let it all out. He shook his head back and forth at her touch.

“It’s not my fault you’re utterly adorable,” She cooed, her fingers moving to scribble under his chin as if he were a pet. This got some really bubbly giggles out of him, pouring out of his throat with no end in sight. With a single finger, she traced the skin on his jawline back and forth, back and forth, driving him mad. “You should’ve told me you were ticklish sooner, you’re extra cute when you’re laughing.”

“S-Shut up— Ahaha!” The blush on his face was growing to his ears, a stretched smile stretched across his face. He was trying to grab at her hands with no avail, she would just target a different spot.

“Awwwww,” She crooned, booping his nose. “Are you flustered? Your ears are even red…” She observed, her fingers moving back to lightly scrape against the side of his ears once more. He squeaked, finally breaking. He laughed, but then finally caught onto her wrists, pulling his body up.

“You’re… you’re going to regret that…” There was a bit of a tussle, all in playful fun. Kathleen tried to pull her wrists free, but Nathan wasn’t having it. He wrestled with her, eventually overpowering her and pinning her back to the couch cushions. She let out a nervous giggle. “Sooooo going to regret it…”

“We can talk about this, right? Ahaha…” Her eyes were darting around, trying to figure a way out of this. But there just wasn’t any way that she could. So she accepted her fate.

“Let’s see how flustered you can get…” His voice was low, moving her wrists so that he gripped them both in one hand. His free hand hovered over her, making her sweat.

“It won’t be as cute as your cute tomato coloured cheeks.” She quipped, smirking. But that just buried her deeper.

He gave a devilish smile back, eyeing her off. “That’s it! You asked for it!”

The day continued on with a lot of laughter, a lot of wrestling, and a lot of tickles.

The TV was ignored, they’d have to rewind it later.

[mysticmiav]

Your notes are cool!

And I was always frightened by the idea of ​​writing in a book, I thought it was because of my upbringing and culture of the older school. And then I realized for myself that every time I read, my thoughts are supplemented, varied,They branch out endlessly or have a completely different take on the same story, and there simply isn’t enough space between the lines for me to fit it all in.Now I put thin leaves in the book, written with different thoughts, like a mini-bookmark to the chapters, a little reminder of that version of myself and that view of the world.

Writing in books can so intimidating I know! Especially when it was reading for school, cuz in my school we woukd borrow books from the library, so I couldn't write even if I wanted to. But also it wasn't a thing in my family either, and my older brother was very protective of the condition of the books we had at home.

So writing in books also felt intimidating cuz of upbringings as well!

A bit over two years ago when I'd picked up some books (The Love Hypothesis, The Cruel Prince and A River Enchanted) that I'd wanted to annotate, I was so focused on writing cute little notes and making sure my handwriting was neat and my lines weren't too wobbly and all. And that's all fun and stuff but also it made it feel like a task? If that makes sense? Like I'd read, I was enjoying reading and the characters and the story, but I also felt the need to write something on every page. Something smart or funny or just idk cool.

I guess it was mainly cuz of seeing many people share how pretty and expansive their annotated pages were that I started pressuring myself to make sure my annotations were cute?

Then came Six of Crows. The book I'd bought was the Collector's edition, and I really didn't want to write in it at first.

But after the first few pages I started writing some small, very small, thoughts and reactions with a light pencil, and hoghlighting quotes I liked.

Didn't force it. Just underlined a sentence here and there and wrote stuff like "lol" , "damn" , "wtf" etc.

And I guess it broke that mental barrier for me? Cuz now the thing I love most about annotations is the fact they are a a small journal of my own thoughts in the margins. When I re-read a book, it's fun to see what I was thinking then, or sometimes the jokes I'd cracked between the lines. I genuinely had moments during rereads where I was like "omg past me was onto something!" Or laughed at a "come fight me bruh let's duke it out" that I left after someone's dumbass line.

They aren't meant for other people. They are just little thoughts from me to me.

They are meant to be understood by me if I were to look back on them. To give me a glimpse into the headspace and thoughts and theories I had on my previous read

And I found that after that, whenever I did make more expansive annotations, I could enjoy them a lot more, pull out my post its and tabs and go all out with the small essays lmao

But I didn't force it, it didn't feel like a mental task. I didn't feel like every written thought had to be an enlighting take or amazing analysis.

So in some books I still found it fun to be more loose with them (We Hunt The Flame, Before the Coffee Gets Cold, The Folk of Air series) where sometimes pages and chapters went by with nothing more than a word here and there, while in others, I found it more enjoyable to dissect the details and put my takes on paper. Not because I felt the need to have smart annotations, but cuz I genuinely wanted to write down thoughts and explanations and ideas, because there were many things going on in my head as I'd read and I really wanted to capture those as I went on (Pride and Prejudice, If We Were Villains, Vicious)

Also, love the idea with the thin leaves omg! It sounds so lovely and unique <33

[kyuponstories]

Hey so I'm interested in knowing more about Oh Coffee Boy. Like what's the plotline and how'd you come up with it. (⁠◠⁠‿⁠・⁠)⁠—⁠☆

YAAAY, an OCB ask!! 🥹❣️I appreciate your interest, love! 💞

This is a bit long, so buckle up lol. 🤠

I came across a post here on Tumblr a few years ago (on an different account). @one-time-i-dreamt, to be exact, where people submit dreams that they've had. I can't find the exact post, but I wrote it down in my notebook to never forget lol:

"I got hired for a job at McDonald's in the next town over, but I took a wrong turn & ended up at a maid cafe themed McDonald's instead. 'The manager was like, 'Well, we can just transfer you to this store since you're here and we're understaffed.' They called up the store I was going to work at without asking if I wanted to transfer."

I thought that'd make a hilarious plot line for a show, and it's like the great Toni Morrison said, "If there's a book you want to read and it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." Even tho this will be an animated series, the point remains!

My goal is to make mainly Black (girl) joy stories where brown & dark-skinned Black girls are the leads in multiple fun genres like rom-com, adventure, fantasy, etc. And because I'm an introvert, most of my MCs end up being so as well. In the beginning, the idea was for a slice of life about an introverted Black girl finally working up the courage to get a job after years of social anxiety (gotta make it hit home a bit lol). Thought it'd be a really cute SOL, but never really added onto it.

Fun fact! My grandmother and brother argue every morning. I kid you not. It's always because my grandmother loves coffee. So he makes her a cup of coffee every morning. The problem? She doesn't always finish it.... usually never. But what she will do is NOT care about it until it gets cooler. And then ask him to heat it up for her multiple times throughout the day! 🙃 So big bro complains about it. When my mom was in the hospital, we told the nurse about how grandma is with coffee. Gave her a good laugh when I put the stubborn woman on speaker so she could hear firsthand how it was the first thing she mentioned. 😂

Now, at some point, we starting calling my brother "coffee boy". My mother rarely drinks coffee, and usually drinks tea. At some point, he basically declared "If I'm coffee boy, then you're tea girl", so now he always makes the two of them coffee when they want it while I'm over their tea lol. The funniest thing about it is that mama rarely wants tea, but grandma always wants coffee. 😭At one point, I started dramatically singing "Oh, coffee boy" like the song "Oh, danny boy". And then it clicked! Like magic! ⭐ The title, the main character, his household. My family thought I was CRAZY when I ran upstairs and started writing it out lol. But yeah, those two are the inspo behind OCB! ☕As well as the dreamer who submitted that dream, of course (s/o to you, whoever you are! ✌🏾)

Just realized that I've never really made a summary/bio for this show LOL. Basically, Akachi is a guy in his early 20s who lives with his grandparents who he helps manage a barn with. He hates coffee, a drink he's forced to make every morning for his coffee-loving grandmother. Not only is it disgusting (which my brother also thinks lol), but his grandmother never finishes it. When Akachi takes an Uber to show up to his new job in the city, he shows up at the right restaurant, but the wrong location! Before he can object, however, he's transferred to the understaffed MegDonald's branch (spelled intentionally lol). Turns out Akachi is not only a great chef, but a coffee-making expert that has all of their customers coming in for a cup.... much to his dislike. To top it off, his co-workers are incredibly goofy and cosplay every day! Will the boy survive working at this new job?

Thank you for this ask again, really appreciate your interest in Oh, Coffee Boy! 🥰Writing it is so much fun, hope it'll be even more fun to watch! ❣️

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Rewatched John Robins’ The Darkness of Robins and Sara Pascoe’s LadsLadsLads this week, both of which I��d seen before but not for a long time. Then I wrote some stuff that gets rambly and probably too long so here's a cut to spare people the details.

Both their 2017 shows, which I’d seen described as being both about the end of the same relationship, though I don’t think that’s completely true. Darkness of Robins is definitely about the ending of that relationship. LadsLadsLads is mainly about stuff Sara did after the breakup, and stuff from earlier in her life that relates to it. That relationship itself is barely touched on.

Though she was definitely doing stand-up about that relationship in 2016, not to mention complaining about it on panel shows a lot, so I think I can still at least slightly justify his oversharing about some details by saying they were both doing it. Just not in her 2017 Edinburgh show. There is one bit early in Darkness of Robins where he says “She decided she was unhappy, kept that to herself, bought a house with me, and left,” which is just entirely untrue. She announced that she was unhappy with her relationship many times, frequently in front of large live audiences and while being filmed for national television. But she did at least stop announcing it so much after they broke up, while that’s sort of when he got started. Arguably too much.

I was a bit worried about that part – the ending bit with the sexually explicit story that might make me not able to like him anymore if I reminded myself of how bad it was – so I’m pleased to say it was less bad that I’d built it up in my head. Definitely shorter than I remembered. Still bad, still not justified, even by the fact that she’d said things publicly too. Just, at least shorter than I thought. I think I remembered it being longer because, you know, it’s pretty memorable. And it’s meant to be, he threw in some brief explicit detail for shock value so that his comedy show would stay in people’s minds, and it did work. I mean, it won an award. But he could probably have cut the shock value line and still won the award. Re-watched it also reminded me that he justified the shock value line’s place in the show because it was a callback to a bit from the beginning, but that beginning bit was also just pointlessly gross shock value and my least favourite part of a very very good show.

Honestly, I’m looking for ways to justify the possibly unjustifiable bits because I’d forgotten just how much I like this show. Or maybe, I’d remembered really really liking it but hadn’t remembered all the reasons why, and this re-watch has reminded me. It makes me feel a bit better to know it won the Perrier Award, because otherwise I’d worry that I might like this show far more than it deserves, as he seems to have written a show mainly to give voice to my inner monologue (I mean, much of the show matches my inner monologue… not every moment of it, obviously, I don’t think about having sex with Sara Pascoe nearly as often as he apparently does). I’m glad it won the award so I know that other people agreed it was objectively (as much as this sort of thing can be objective) good, it doesn’t just happen to resonate with me.

I mean, obviously really good comedy is supposed to resonate with most people. That’s what observational comedy is. But nothing can be relatable to everyone, because people are different. A good relatable joke is going to be funny to people who share that experience, a great one can transcend into being funny even to people who don’t share that experience. I have, in my time, laughed at plenty of jokes about being a parent or having a spouse or dating stories or the everyday pitfalls or home ownership or appearing on reality TV or heterosexuality or whatever’s going on in the life of this comedian who lives a very different life from me, because they made it funny enough so I only have to do a little bit of mental recalibration to put myself in those shoes and imagine how funny this would be, how accurate their observation probably is. I have also failed to find jokes like that funny, but known it’s probably a good enough joke to be funny to someone who actually is a parent, or whatever the subject is.

But listening to so many shows that require a little mental adjustment, to imagine the perspective of that comedian in order to find the joke from that perspective funny, really highlights how much I like watching a show that requires very little recalibration. I happened to watch this show when I came home after work and was feeling really guilty, because I was training another staff member on a client that I work with, and I have everything in his binder set up really specifically and then I went in and found someone else had not thought about this and just put things in other places and I got genuinely furious but tried to express that in an appropriate manner in front of the other therapist by saying through gritted teeth “Oh I see this paper’s been put on this side, which is fine, I mean different people put things in different places it’s fine” and just weirdly repeating things like that too many times, sort of trying to slightly appear joking but clearly actually upset, and then I spent the whole bus ride home asking myself why I have to be such a terrible person and be a dick about someone just putting things in the wrong place and obviously I failed to hide how upset I was and now this coworker knows I’m a dick about things like that and she won’t trust me in the future. Then I got home and put on this stand-up show, and it opens with what really should be trite and overdone material because it basically boils down to “I hate the way my girlfriend used to put cords in the wrong places”, but the delivery with barely supressed aggression and the underlying sense of “It’s not about the cords it’s about the intense psychological effort of not going off on people every moment of the day because they don’t think about things carefully enough, and other people ruin everything but really it’s me who ruins everything with my inability to let things go and this is why no one likes me”, and I said, oh I remember why I liked this show so much.

Because Darkness of Robins is a deep emotional breakup show and everything, and a few times he tries for a philosophical point that I think maybe works slightly less well than he thinks it does, but that sort of plays into it, if that makes sense? Like. When he looks straight at the camera and says: “No strings attached does not exist, all we are is string,” or perhaps less philosophically but quite emotionally intense: “I would rather drink alone for the rest of time, than spend my life sober amongst people,” it’s a bit awkward, it doesn’t feel natural or like he actually achieves the gravitas he’s going for. I this he’s right in the points he’s making, but he doesn’t create an atmosphere where I fully buy into the dramatic moment the way some comedians can, it just looks like a guy trying hard to make a point.

But also, that sort of works. Like the emotionally intense points he’s making seem like the sort of points that would come from a person who looks straight into a camera and falters a bit while trying to be deep. And it’s hard to look at him at that moment but I think it’s supposed to be. Elis James has a story about John Robins calling him in the middle of the night in 2009 because his show doesn’t have a meta-narrative like Daniel Kitson’s does – well maybe that’s the meta that he’d worked out by 2017. I realize “actually the part that doesn’t quite work is good because it’s a meta moment that proves his point about how he doesn’t quite work” is a lot of mental gymnastics to justify a possible flaw, but I do like it. It definitely makes it stick in my mind more.

Anyway. What I was trying to say is that while this is a show that gets deeply and intensely introspective and makes some broader points about relationships and stuff, a lot of the actual material is, technically, just observational everyday-life stuff. Stuff that feels relatable to someone who had a frustrating day at work with papers that got left in the wrong section of a binder. Large sections of the show are taken up by a story about a tour of his acquaintance’s house and a story about a trip to IKEA. And weirdly, given that I’m not generally a fan of mundane everyday life observations (I mean, I don’t think anyone’s a big fan of that stuff, except possibly Josh Widdicombe), I think those are my favourite parts of the show.

It turns out that maybe I don’t dislike detailed descriptions of mundane parts of everyday life that are only meant to be funny because they’re relatable. Maybe, most of those stories are just not relatable to me. Maybe if these stories were told every time by a person who has panic attacks when shopping and wants to shoot themselves when they get a tour of a nice house where people who have their shit together are raising their children – maybe then I’d like it fine!

I mean, obviously John Robins is not the only comedian to say “I get anxious when doing tasks that are supposed to be simple and feel overwhelmed and defensive when other people appear to have their shit together better than I do.” So I have to give him credit for the writing and delivery, I’ve heard other comedians say things like that and I’ll find it relatable enough to laugh a bit but it won’t stick in my mind as one of my favourite stand-up shows ever. Maybe John Robins is doing a whole lot of stuff with his writing and with his delivery that I don’t even know enough about comedy to analyze, and that’s what makes it so much funnier when he does it than when other people do similarly relatable material. Or maybe it’s just that the other comedians don’t mime shooting themselves in the head to really drive the point home of how that feels. It’s mildly funny at the absolute best when comedians complain about all the boxes in IKEA looking the same and then you have to pretend to know what you’re doing even though you don’t really. It’s a lot more memorable if the story is about the rapid spiral from that into becoming convinced you’ve never done anything right as the paper disintegrates in the sweat in your hand and the absolute terror of anyone else knowing that you ever thought this might work. There’s an early radio episode that I listened to a couple of months ago now where Elis James asks John Robins what he’s most afraid of, and he answers “Being found out,” and I’ve thought of that line at least every few days since hearing it. What a perfectly succinct description of the one fear that’s just always underneath everything.

At a more surface level than that, there’s this part after he describes all the panic and the spiraling and the self-hatred about it while shopping in IKEA, and then “I get to the tills, and it hits me all at once, the row upon row of cramped and logistics and scanning and kids, beeping and screaming”, and I just want to give that credit for being perfect word choice. That’s just straightforward description of a relatable mundane situation, but I’ve heard a lot of comedy routines’ straightforward descriptions of relatable mundane situations, and very rarely one that paints such a vividly accurate picture in my mind. He described it so well that I briefly felt the thing I feel every time I get close to a crowded cash register area in a busy store, that moment of fight or flight where your body just wants to run out of there, and I felt that right before he went on to describe the fight or flight response.

I don’t recommend this show. Partly because I can’t properly justify the oversharing of personal things about another person whose name the audience knows, I don’t know whether he ran it by her beforehand but if he didn’t then that’s not really ethical. But also, I don’t tell people to watch this show because I felt weirdly uncomfortable watching it, like I connect to this on too personal a level and do not want anyone I know seeing this and knowing what I find so very relatable. If I were to let my friends watch a guy who hadn’t quite achieved as much dramatic impact as he was going for, look straight at a camera and say, “I would rather drink alone for the rest of time, than spend my life sober amongst people,” in a way that makes it hard to look directly at him because it almost works but not quite – I wouldn’t want my friends in real life to watch that because I’d feel like they were looking at some part of me that I don’t want people to look at. Though they would definitely watch the bit about how painful it is to pretend to be a proper adult long enough to get a tour of a proper person’s house where they raise kids and stuff, and they would say, “Hey, someone should send this video to [Tellthemeerkatsitsfine], I think she’d relate to it.”

Anyway. The point is that those bits got to me more than the breakup story itself, which was of course the main theme of the show. But I did really like the ending, couple of ill-advised lines aside. I liked pretty much all of it, couple of ill-advised lines aside. It is, like with his other stand-up shows that I re-listened to in the last couple of months, kind of fun to go from the radio show to remembering how John Robins sounds when he’s off the pre-watershed leash and allowed to say “fuck”. And he sure did take advantage of that. Sometimes in ways that made me feel vaguely uncomfortable but still find it funny. I don’t actually think there’s anything wrong with telling sexually explicit stories in general – it’s just a problem if the other person in them isn’t anonymous and then you’re revealing private details about another person. Otherwise, I think it’s ethically fine, I’m just weirdly squeamish.

So then I watched LadsLadsLads, which I watched about three years ago but didn’t remember much about it. It was a really good show, better than I’d remembered. This one was much, much less relatable to me personally, but I still found most of it funny, which as I said I think is the mark of a good show. If you can write the jokes so well that they’ll be funny even to people who do not personally have that experience. Sara Pascoe did that. She made me laugh repeatedly, I enjoyed it a lot and that one I do recommend. It had interesting stuff about making connections among family relationships and romantic relationships and figuring yourself out. It’s a good, funny breakup show that works even if you have little in common with Sara Pascoe.

I was about to say it was more ethical than the other show because it didn’t tell me anything about John Robins’ sex life, but actually that’s not true. I’ve just remembered that there is a bit in the middle about Titanic that gave me a brief mental image of John Robins in a situation where I do not wish to imagine John Robins, so actually, I take back what I said earlier in this post about his being worse than hers for that. I mean, he talked much lot more about the relationship itself than she did, but in terms of brief explicit descriptions, I think they’re one all.

…Sorry that this post has so much about comedians’ love lives, I feel weird writing so much about a thing that is none of my business, but they’re the ones who did the shows about it. I feel like I've reached my quota for knowing about comedian love life gossip for the entire year, I need to go listen to Andy Zaltzman talk about cricket or something as a cleanser.

[fvji-kvjakv]

DIRECTOR’S CUT AND COMMENTARY

OPENING NOTES:

hello hello!!! i’ve always wanted to do a commentary and for my first to be for this fic, i couldn’t even begin to say how pleased i am. over the last few months, this fic has been my baby: i don’t write plot, i don’t like fluff, but this prompt just called out to me and i knew i could finally write the comedy of my dreams. 

the reason i called it supercut is explained later in the fic, so i hope you manage to catch that line! as far as characterisation goes, i think it’s a kind of dynamic you can expect from two people who have only been around each other all their lives. there’s nothing else there until you see them apart. they just gravitate towards each other. the reason i mainly shed light on san’s character through flashbacks was because i needed there to be the perfect level of “you are my past, present and future” for me. this was just what worked.

what you have received is exactly what my humour is, unfortunately, so i only pray you find this fic funny as well. written with no purpose but to make readers laugh, i hope supercut was enjoyable to read, and i can’t wait to see if anyone managed to pick out all the real scenarios from this fic considering there are so MANY, some of which i mention in this commentary. 

but i have to say before i start that i do not remember writing any of this for most part, so i’ll only be talking about little easter eggs i’ve thrown in here that i only noticed during this reread. with that out of the way, let’s begin! 

COMMENTARY:

And then he’s out like a light. As San slumbers next to him, Wooyoung can’t help but wonder if the human heart was meant to beat this loudly.

ok. so. what a way to start. i don’t actually have much to say about the scene generally, apart from that i only wrote this to set the tone and shed some light on what wooyoung and san’s relationship used to be and what it eventually evolves into.

Wooyoung had snorted, and the visual of Mingi walking into a glass wall right then had immediately changed the subject, and that was the end of that.

inspired by the time i ran full speed into a wall of glass and cried about it bc i got made fun of by my cousins

Wooyoung calls it objective admiration and Yeosang calls it bullshit. Jongho usually likes to stay out of their business.

very much inspired by my group of friends

“House,” Wooyoung says. “He says to bring bitches.”

“I’m already bringing you, though,” San immediately answers, and then ducks when Wooyoung throws a pillow at him. “Who’s going?”

this is. so funny to me personally. this fic became a very weird amalgamation of american and english humour and you can really tell when you start to read: there are some specific english vocabularies used later to mark the difference, but the reason i mixed things up (as far as i remember), is because as an international student abroad, your humour tends to match up in a lot of funky ways. i think it is inevitable to kind of. end up with layers. to You as a person esp with forced proximity and a change in environment but i love it because it describes my friends and i very accurately! (can u tell i wrote supercut with my loved ones in mind) 

“Proudly,” San sneers, and then he chugs half the carton in one go. “Now scram. I can feel you staring. I know I’m the sexy husband but I’m not just a hot piece of ass, you know.”

this is directly taken from conversations i’ve had with friends where we roleplay as a really messy friend group. married to. each other 

Wooyoung is deep into Yeosang’s bottle of Captain Morgan’s

all we did first year was drink rum <3 

Yeosang has been trying to roll a joint for the better half of the last hour while his boyfriend watches helplessly and the others are playing the world’s most intense round of Monopoly Deal when the doorbell rings. 

the amt of times i have been yeosang here. and also the amt of times i’ve had game nights with friends and family and it always ends with violence 

“So,” Yeosang starts, “Monthly BDSM test?” 

Wooyoung turns his phone back on.

idk what to tell u. my friends and i did this monthly just to mess with each other

“Your mum,” Yeosang says.

Jongho just whistles and reaches for a high five. “Nice.”  

San glares. “What are you, twelve?”

“Yeah,” Yeosang nods casually, blowing a blueberry-flavoured stream of vapour at San’s face. “Twelve inches in your mum.”

very real conversation i heard my cousin say to another player when we were 12 years old and fucking with them online over a game of cod (minus the vape)

It’s so loose, kief falling from the tip, that even San just stares at him. “Yes, I know it sucks. Jongho—”

#throwback to the time my horrid rolling skills let me down at what felt like rock bottom 

Wooyoung tiredly wipes a bead of sweat from his temple before bringing his hand to wipe away the juice all over his mouth. He’s made a mess, he thinks, eyeing the green stickiness all over his palm. His brother’s going to tease him all over again.

this is nothing more than what used to be routine for me: my uncle had a car and he would usually take all of us to the park and then to the harbour where we’d get slushies and popsicles while we watched the sunset…!

San babbling next to him about the newest Digimon game his sister has gifted

this was actually a very common occurrence in my household growing up, though i do have to confess it was mostly about pokémon! we were little nerds on picnics with our gameboys out <3 

“I bet you liked it.”

The silence is deafening.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jongho asks gently. “I genuinely want to know.”

i was jongho in this scene 

“Don’t you make playlists all the time?”

part of the reason why this prompt called out to me is that the main arc is making playlists — something i do constantly all the time because it’s a big love language of mine. it just felt a little funny, picking apart my whole life, only to end up with this fic. but i think that’s why this one will always mean so much! 

Glimmering smiles over the edges of wine. Hushed commentaries about the relevance of Gossip Girl in today’s climate and frozen pizza.

Things inevitably go back to normal as things always do.

there’s nothing for me to comment on i just really like this bit 

They’ve known each other for years—months weeks days hours minutes seconds—and Wooyoung doesn’t know how to feel about the fact that San has conveniently wiped their history away, leaving nothing but a blank slate.

the reason i highlighted this was because i needed it to be emphasised just How long they have known each other like how many seconds in those years have they spent together and with each other. a little crazy

San is humming along to the opening notes of Mr. Brightside

have u lived in england if u haven’t sung this on every night out actually

“I’ve always wanted to kiss someone to this song,” he blurts.

my best friend and i had a very serious discussion about him wanting to do this and i’m glad to update everyone with news that he has succeeded thumbs up emoji

“This is going to sound awful,” Jongho finally says, laughing under his breath as he leans back in his seat, a distant look on his face. “But probably when I realised I’d let him roll shitty joints for me forever.”

this is 100% real one of my friends said this to my face 

“Put that camera away!” Wooyoung yells, “What are you waiting for?”

this seems much. bigger than it actually is. but this is taken from the time i went on a trip around uk and did a lot of hiking with my friends. we were setting off fireworks to celebrate the new year, and one of my friends who’s a photographer wouldn’t come set them off because he was too busy taking pictures of us! 

“On God, man.”

“Just stop talking.”

“Anyway, when is our train tonight?”

“Oh, it’s—”

this entire phone call. i was asleep, hungover and also sick to boot, and my cousin who’s about 8 hours ahead had called me without realising i was majorly unwell. it went exactly like this, only for him to ask me where his girlfriend was. of course, i hung up on him without further response. 

Tonight, every single one of them was in Leeds for the weekend—they got an Airbnb, they stole their host’s rolling paper while arguing that there shouldn’t have been rolling paper in the first place, and then they cracked the bottles out once they started getting ready, long-winded compilations of Max Verstappen and Charles LeClerc playing in the background, courtesy of Jung Yunho’s current Formula 1 phase.

those who have my twitter will know what this is about. but basically. me and moot were in london bc she was visiting me and we literally ran out of rolling paper on the second day in the middle of her getting me into f1. we checked all over the place and what do u know. the paper is right there. it should not have been there but thank u olga. if u are seeing this that is why u have a new set of rolling papers in ur drawer i felt really bad and wanted to get a new one for u

Wooyoung just lets out a breathless laugh before he promptly turns around, letting San settle behind him. Dizzee Rascal blares from the speakers, the familiar beat thundering through his veins.

the song is dance wiv me btw this is one of the three songs my friends and i Must play during pres before we go out

“Go piss, girl,” comes Yeosang’s voice.

no comment i just think this is so funny 

Wooyoung knows one thing: he can’t make this shit up anymore.

also no comment but <3 this is tian’s line <3 thank u for the feedback and support i luv u so much

jongho: fuck mondays…… i mean its just another day to me but for the school students out there, fuck mondays……

ANOTHER REAL CONVO nier. never change. i love you

When Wooyoung is sixteen, pants around his ankles while he takes the biggest shit of his life to Eminem’s Ass Like That, his girlfriend dumps him.

umm. also real. i was literally mid shit when the guy i was seeing ended things over text and all i said was “ok cool be well king 🙏” 

San is already watching him, hand raised to bring his beer to his mouth. There’s a soft smile playing on his lips, gaze terribly warm and tender. Slow and unbothered. Somehow, they always find each other. The music disappears until it’s just the two of them. You’re my best friend. I’m living. Young-ah. San is looking at him like he knows something Wooyoung doesn’t again. Does that taste good? You’re my forever. What are you waiting for? San takes a step, then two, and then he’s walking over. Young-ah, Young-ah, Young-ah. You’re my forever, San’s voice echoes. 

this entire paragraph. it means so much to me. i think my style has changed so much since the first fic i had ever written for ateez, and i would like to think that all the experiences i’ve had here, with everyone around me, i have grown. as a writer and as a person. to be honest, i think i spoiled myself with this fic and i can never go back to writing dirty things like i used to. i think this is the kind of writing i am meant to produce.

“I think I’m in love with you.” 

“Oh,” Wooyoung breathes. He nods once, twice. “Okay. I love you too.”

okay. so. this. i couldn’t make them get together in a flashy, manic way. it needed to feel natural, and what i felt was that these two knew it was the right time, that it is finally time to take the next step. because it makes sense and because it is as natural as breathing. and so it is. like that. 

Their walk home isn’t rushed as Wooyoung expects. They take the ten minutes and walk around aimlessly in circles until it’s been at least an hour of San telling Wooyoung what his day has been like until they reach their place.

THIS PART!!!!! again, back to it being natural. it is just another day for them, all things considered, so it just makes sense to keep going about life as they always do. they’ll figure it out together. 

The bell dings once they’ve reached their floor, and instead of stepping out of the elevator, San keeps on kissing Wooyoung like he knows he will be able to do it again.

you don’t know. how obsessed i am with this line. that san finally knows he can kiss wooyoung. that he can keep doing it forever. or as long as wooyoung wants because he’s been waiting for so long. waiting for wooyoung to catch up. 

He shakes when San presses a finger inside him and he laughs when San says I love you against his belly.

they are just so!!!! elated!!!!! and giddy!!!!!!!!!!!

They talk about anything and everything and Wooyoung cries himself laughing when San tells him that after the seduction attempt, San had jacked himself off and cried because he had felt so guilty about defiling the memory of his best friend in his head.

I’M SORRY LIKE. THE VISUAL WAS TOO FUNNY NOT TO WRITE

Watches San moan Wooyoung’s name until Wooyoung’s hips are stuttering on every gasp. Watches as San falls in love with him a million times in a matter of seconds.

just another line that i Especially love <3

as for the sex scene, i actually didn’t want to write it at first. i originally only had two little paragraphs dedicated to the scene because i had wanted to step away from smut and see things without a nsfw lens. but then they started acting up. i had to write Something even if it was miniscule and not at all my style <3 

“I was born by C-section so I’m a gold star gay,” Yeosang says smoothly, not even missing a beat. “No vaginas on my record.”

THIS IS REAL I PROMISE we now refer to the guy who said this to my best friend as “c-section gay”

“You absolute bellend,” Wooyoung says, shooting Yeosang a venomous glare.

“You’re already learning!”

only because my two favourite aggressively english words to use are “cunt” and “bellend” 

wooyoung: why do my feet always feel so warm when i wake up

yeosang: we don’t want to hear abt ur feet wooyoung

san: @wooyoung sorry ill stop

taken from the time nier admitted to liking my feet  

“Wait, did you buy another Polo pack again? I can’t fucking taste anything, mate.”

my polo addiction… 🕊️💔

Just as he predicts, Yeosang and Jongho get back together. Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn on the other hand, he figures, is not for him to decide.

this entire scene is dedicated to my best friend who cried about them breaking up. update: she is keeping up to date with the matty healy dating rumours, and i have to say, i don’t think she is pleased. 

San surprises him with a tub of ice cream and a Spotify playlist, sitting on a bench and talking for what seems like hours until they finally get up and start making their way back.

OK. THIS BIT. i intentionally made it sound like a throwaway line but it is not. it’s overshadowed by the Very dirty sex implied right after, but this is the first time san ever makes a playlist. and he intentionally made it for wooyoung who is his sole audience. it just felt fitting to end with a playlist since it begins with a playlist. full circle, lads. 

CLOSING NOTES:

PHEW. what a ride. i didn’t realise i had so much to say in so little, but i’m thankful. i hope everyone who reads this enjoys it as much as i enjoyed writing it. i may not remember much, but the few memories i have are all good. 

this fic made me want to Write again after years of staying away from plot. i think i’m one step closer to figuring myself out. additionally, thank you to all of my friends who took the time out of their day to encourage me to write this, i cannot thank you enough. i can’t wait to write another fic for you soon. 

see you when the next one comes out, my loves! <3