#major middle child syndrome

[fruitageoforanges]

my latest fic-writing revelation: luke and aemond are both middle child mama’s boys. not sure what that reveals, but it sure does say something.

[gamebunny-advance]

Random Question Time (Side A)

Note: This question is more about "feeling" than the strict and literal definitions of their relationship. It's clear that they're all based on the same model of robot and are manufactured by the same machine, and are thus all related by that. This question is asking how you think their relationship functions in human terms.

See the sister poll to vote on Neon J.'s relationship with 1010.

[transboykirito]

im not saying kayaba or sugou or higa were right im just saying that sometimes university just does shit to a person

[fandoms-spamdom]

does thou have any headcannons? 👁v👁🎤 /nf

👁👁 maybe-

[livefastdriveyoung]

Every team has a first and second driver. It is just that not every driver fulfills the role in the same way.

At Aston Martin we know Fernando is driver one. He is the more experienced driver, and right from the mouth of Lawrence Stroll himself, was brought in to make Lance a better driver so he could one day be the first driver. He does media, he's funny, and he also clearly has a mentor/mentee relationship with Lance.

I call this the mentor/mentee set up

At Mercedes, we know that Lewis is Driver one. Based on titles certainly, age almost definitely, and also because he is Lewis Hamilton. Until February, and even after, when you think Mercedes, you think Lewis. He is their better driver. He won six championships with them. He's stayed longer than most drivers stay on the whole grid. It is his through blood, sweat, and tears. George is the prince, he's set to inherit, potentially (BTW TORGER, I would like a word), and has a lot to live up to. Comparisons are hard, especially when the first driver is Lewis. I think that it's a forced proximity set-up, but they are friendly. Mostly off the track because on track they do not have their greatest moments.

I call this the King/Heir Apparent set up

At Red Bull, we know that Max is Driver one. Aside from the championships, he is just too fast. Every time one of the other drivers who drove alongside him was brought up to Horner or Helmut (YIKES to both), they would compare where they raced to Max. It is unattainable, and isolating. Until Checo. Checo didn't think he was going to be able to drive after BWT. He didn't have a contract, he was a middle of the pack driver, Mexico's son, and his story was supposed to end there. The Red Bull contract was a dream, but for all of the weird behavior some of y'all have with him (again, he's had his problems but the racism and idiot syndrome some apply to him is also NOT OK) he's not an idiot. He knows he's on a limited contract, he knows he's no spring chicken. Hearing him talk about next year, he knows he's very likely out of a contract. But he doesn't let any of this impact his relationship with Max. They are teammates, Checo will do what is best for the team. Max's whole world is predominantly driving. Checo has more of a balance, and in some ways, allows Max to be young.

I call this the Sibling set up.

At Ferrari, Charles LeClerc is Driver one. He is il Predestinato, the second coming, Monaco's prince. He can do no wrong. Carlos Sainz is the second driver. In spite of the fact that he got dropped from the team, in spite of the fact that he has won them two races, he is the one that is being pushed out. But he and Charles are friends, and teammates. They've driven together for several years now. Ultimately, while Carlos has done most of the heavy lifting on his side of the garage in terms of strategy and driving, he is also the one who knows when to walk away from the fight, when to stop letting yourself get hurt by the team that should be defending you. For Charles, Ferrari is a promise to Jules, to his father, to himself. He cannot walk away. In some way, Carlos can. That's why he makes the good second driver. The second in command is the one that sees the whole picture, including the first in command, because they never look at themselves.

I call this the friends/us against the world set up.

At Mclaren, driver one is Lando Norris. An indefinite contract, the sponsors, the adoration, Lando is the golden child. But Oscar is too, sort of. They're both young, both incredibly talented. But they're young. They're doing this together. McLaren went from disaster to top of the pack last season, and they're both on this ride together. I think McLaren is going to do whatever it takes to get Lando his win, but then I think they'll split 50/50. What will happen then, I don't know.

I call this the to soon to tell set up

At Williams, Alex Albon is so clearly driver one. Last year, he scored the majority of the points, they signed him for an extended contract, and they're desperate to keep him for 2026, when the car is supposedly going to be insane. Logan is the second driver. Alex wants to be the mentor, and to some degree he is. But Logan's narrative from last season to this season has shifted dramatically. Less and less people want to see him gone, they like the American. Williams renewed him. Whether because of sponsorship or genuine interest in his improvement, I don't know. But, in the last two races, they have managed to tank Alex's reputation, and boost Logan's. You don't publicly destroy your second driver's confidence, and career potential so publicly and walk away clean. We've seen it with Red Bull and Pierre, and Alex. Both times, those two drivers walked away with insane support. Logan is now receiving the same, but I wonder if it is going to make a difference. I think that Logan talking about what is best for the team is what is keeping him going, but if you watched the newest Team Torque, you can see fatigue and some tension between him and Alex. I don't know if it is jet lag, or work, or stress, or damage to the relationship. But this is a driver relationship on a razor wire.

I call this the Icarus set up

At Alpine, it is Pierre. He gets away with murder, at least by the team. Esteban has certainly mellowed a little, but he calls Pierre out still. However, they are both miserable with the car this year, so I think they are probably commiserating. The fact they can work together after years of rivalry and blatant hurt between the two is interesting. I think that both of these men have racing above all on their heart, and they will do whatever it takes to stay there. So for now, they suffer in the car, and they are colleagues.

I call this the "there's no other choice" set up (aka forced proximity)l

At Visa CashApp, there's currently a power struggle. Daniel is Daniel. He's been second driver for a few years, he's been third driver. He's got the popularity, though it is waning, and more importantly, he's got Christian Horner's support. That, plus the fact that the team talks about Daniel's presence being about helping them improve, makes him sound like first driver. Except, Yuki has been First driver for years. He's the one who stayed through the revolving door of drivers. This is his team. Honda pays the majority of his salary. So when you bring someone in, someone who doesn't even want the seat as much as he wants the Red Bull seat, the seat that should be yours, you're not going to go down without a fight. It creates this weird tension, but then Daniel is like "I know how lucky I am to be here, I'm focused on driving here," and is already being threatened with losing the seat like Nyck was, and Yuki realizes he might never get the Red Bull seat. So you have these two guys who are fighting for the same thing, that doesn't want them.

I call this the Alone Together set up

At Sauber, it is Valtteri. He has won gps, he's former Mercedes, who used to come second usually only to Lewis. He's funny, older, a weirdo that people love and feel they know. Zhou is younger, he's dealing with the pressure of being China's only son, and the higher expectations of him. Valtteri helps keep him young and focused. He's been through the wringer, and he's teaching Zhou that it is not going to be what breaks you.

Also Mentor/Mentee except the mentors are nuts in a different way

I don't know what the hell is going on at Haas.

[sl-ut]

random college!abby hcs

more!college abby

warnings: mentions of sex, drinking, drugs, and nudity, cursing, mild hint homophobia

first things first: jerry is alive and abby is his pride and joy

i'm serious... her mom died when she was a toddler and jerry hasn't had a long-term relationship since, so he's the only parental figure that she has

he took every precaution while raising her to make sure she always had everything she could ever need while also making sure that she didn't end up being an entitled brat

otherwise, she is very close with both of her father's siblings (her aunt is the only maternal relationship she has and definitely relied on her for all of her personal issues as a teenager), has a good relationship with jerry's mother and step-father

her mother was an only child, but her parents always come over for thanksgiving and even christmas sometimes

she was very supportive of her father taking in yara and lev after she moved out. she knew he was suffering from a severe case of empty nest syndrome. she def makes them feel so welcome right away like those strangers became her siblings in a matter of minutes

i'll only say it once ppl: OLD MONEY

jk i'll say it again. the andersons are a long line of surgeons and doctors so obvi they're gonna be well off

like, not "fund a research facility to get my kid into college" rich, they're more "i casually have a summer home, a ski chalet, and a ridiculously nice house to live in year round" rich.

her only real relationship was in high school (trigger warning: it was owen)

our bby had a bad case of comphet as a teenager

like fr she had not even considered the fact that she might be gay until she was two knuckles deep in some sorority girl during a party in her freshman year

after that she sort of just accepted it, she had no concern of her dad bc obviously he would be so accepting and supportive, but a few of her relatives def had an issue with it right off the bat (old money, old values)

she's been friends with manny, nora, owen, and mel since middle school, and the only one whose view of her seemed to change was owen (and mel too ig bc she stopped seeing abby as such a threat)

he drunkenly questioned her about it once, saying something super gross and along the lines of "you didn't seem gay when we were together"

to which she responded by offering him two choices; he could sit down and shut up or she would knock him tf out

he's cooled it since then but everyone knows that he still has a big fat crush on her so he still wants to believe he has a chance (even tho he was literally already talking to mel before they broke up and announced they were together only a few days after)

she's pre-med, majoring in bio and minoring in something totally different like classical lit or history or something

she's gonna end up being an orthopedic surgeon but later on in her career i can see her turning to teaching at a university or something

like doctor!abby turned prof!abby???? omg

is very health conscious

she's a gym rat, this we already know

she also takes her diet very seriously as well, but always has a secret stash of junk for when she really needs it

also careful with her alcohol/drug intake

she drinks on occasion (birthday, christmas, new years, etc, etc) but usually not very much (will almost always be sober enough to be the sober driver if need be)

she refuses to do any drugs during lacrosse season. she's so strict with her diet during the season that she won't ingest anything other than quality, nutritious food. she also needs to submit a drug test a few times per season so she doesn't wanna risk it.

in the off season, she's more willing to have a puff or two at a party or take an edible before a movie night or something (i don't see her doing any drug other than weed)

she lived with manny during her freshman and sophomore years

they had a shitty little apartment a few minutes away from campus

it was the only one that manny could afford on a student budget, and he refused abby's offer to get a nicer apartment and let her pay a larger portion of the rent than he did

they still had fun either way

manny loved having another person he could talk about girls with (he was initially gonna move in with owen but then he got ditched for mel)

every sunday morning they would get takeout for breakfast so manny could recount his night with the girl that had snuck out only a few hours earlier

she was a little hesitant to join in and share her own stories, but she finally got more comfortable in talking to him about it (RESPECTFULLY!!!!!!! she was so scared that she was gonna end up sounding like a literally disgusting pig but she keeps the details to a minimum and only says nice things unless the girl was a major bitch)

she's a lululemon/gymshark girly. her go-to style is definitely any variation of athlesiure. she wears lots of joggers, dry-fit tops, and the cleanest pair of white sneakers you'll ever see

underneath, i'm picturing her as more of a bralette type of girl. obviously she wears a sports bra to the gym, but on a regular basis, she likes wearing bralettes over bras bc she doesn't need that much support so they offer just enough without the discomfort of a bra

i'm settling the debate rn everyone, college!abby wears boxers AND panties

she finds boxers more comfortable on a day to day basis, but she likes wearing cheekies and thongs especially when she's wearing leggings

so dorky

she was definitely a sci-fi/fantasy kid

she grew up on harry potter, lord of the rings, star wars, etc etc

would love a partner who would watch them with her and actually enjoy it

unironically makes gym thirst traps on tiktok

her followers always comment supportive things like: looking good!, major gainssss, muscle mommy come destroy this pu-

still wears the iconic braid, but usually only when she's on the field. she occasionally wears her hair down, but i hc that she still likes to wear her hair pulled back in a cute little braided ponytail or a messy low bun

when she's older SHE CUTS HER HAIR OMG OMG OMG like literally i'm purring rn

like ik you've all seen that edit of her with super short hair omg she's so hot

in her junior year she decided to live on her own

manny moved in with jordan, who had been begging him for a while since the rent was more than he could handle on his own, though manny's rent would actually be cheaper than it was in his apartment with abby

they still do their traditions tho, still having sunday breakfast, still going to the campus pub on fridays for trivia, still going to the gym together on wednesdays...

they're actually besties i love them

when she's on her period, she craves salty foods

is so frustratingly confident in her emotions

will always try to diffuse the situation and pissing the other person off with her calmness

takes really good care of her skin

her favourite drink is diet cranberry gingerale

she's a dog person, but she would definitely enjoy having a cat around too

adopts a rescue dog a few weeks after finishing her residency

uses old spice fiji body wash and deodorant (SHE SMELLS SO FUCKING GOOD) and a musky vanilla body spray

likes to feel and be clean, but isn't too fussed about her body hair so long as it looks tidy. she isn't anti shaving, and will probably make an effort to shave more regularly in the early stages of a relationship until she's more confident and comfortable around the person

NSFW

down-there hair? duh

like i said, she likes to keep things tidy so she'll trim and maybe shave her bikini line if she's feeling it but that's it. she's not fussed with body hair, whether it's her or her partner's

again, she'll make an effort to keep herself looking neat and tidy for the first bit of a relationship but after a few weeks she's not afraid to go full-bush when she doesn't wanna shave

she doesn't love penetration. fingers are one thing, but she has only had not-so-great experiences with sex that involved a penis-like object. she'd wanna be the one wearing the strap for the most part, but she'd be willing to try it again with the right person

slow and passionate sex >>>>>

considers herself to be very vanilla but she's actually kinda kinkyyyyy (she gets so embarrassed and blushy when anyone calls her out for it)

she prefers scissoring to using her strap (but she LOVES her strap)

she doesn't like to choke her partners, but she will reach her hand up and just hold their throat while they're fucking

she's always so sensitive

came in like thirty seconds during her first time with another girl

she's noiiiiisssyyyyyyyy

she usually starts out with just heavy panting breaths, then they turn into deep grunts, then she begins to whine from low in her throat, and finally she begins to gasp out words of praise or curses

she squirts teehee

like i said she's always so sensitive, so if she's any ways worked up when someone's going down on her they better watch out bc they're in the splash zone

her strap is purple and sparkly

abby anderson eats ass

her nipples are super sensitive too

not really nsfw but she really loves casual nudity with her partners, changing in front of each other, hopping in the shower together, using the bathroom with the other person in the room...

she's a boob girl. doesn't matter if they're big, small, saggy, or perky, she just wants to suck them

when she's on top, she likes to pull her partner's leg over her shoulder and will just start like trailing kisses along the length of their calf

she's a literal munch

will use it to her advantage too

tells her partner she'll go down on them if they finish their assignments

[konigsblog]

Who do you think has older sibling or younger sibling energy? Maybe middle child syndrome tossed into the mix too!

well, we know that simon riley has a younger brother from his backstory, so of course he would be an older brother.

soap is a younger brother as well, perhaps a middle child. he's one of three children, having an older sister and a younger sister (or two older sisters, whatever sounds more likely).

i've seen people say that he would know how to dutch/french braid due to having sisters, and i completely agree. he knows how to treat a woman properly, otherwise he'd get his ass beat by them. he's very close with his family and his sisters always compliment you, sharing embarrassing memories where johnny has done something humiliating or stupid to rile him up.

price is an older brother, or a single child. i could see price spending his time playing football with his younger brother, usually picking on him, and making him cry. he wasn't too harsh, he just liked to roughen him up, so he wouldn't be so sensitive.

gaz, just like johnny (i notice that gaz and soap have a lot of similarities honestly!), is the youngest to three sisters. his sisters are pretty overprotective of him, and would show you the worst baby photos when you finally meet. his family is very welcoming and comforting, and his home feels warm and cozy, the presence, as well as the atmosphere. gaz knows how to treat a women correctly and knows he could always ask his sisters for any advice if he was struggling (wedding ring, proposing, or gifts.)

könig is an only child. although i could see him having multiple siblings (6-7), and perhaps that was the reason behind him wanting multiple children as an adult, but i think i'll stick to the idea of könig being an only child for this bit. definitely spent the majority of his day online playing video games, feeling alone as his mother was struggling to work multiple jobs at once.

as an adult, this made him want many children. he knew his mother could barely afford to feed two, let alone three or four, so he never blamed her for it, knowing she was trying her hardest. but considering könig has the money to do so, he wants his children to have siblings so that they'll never feel lonely and will always have a friend.

but if we're going with the idea that könig is one of many siblings (6-7), then i could see him being the middle, perhaps one of the youngest few. this could also be why he wants multiple children, because all he knows is having kids running around constantly.

[koreads]

COLLEGE! HAZEL

college! hazel syndrome. instead of brain there's college!hazel

simply obsessed with her as a college student and created her lore in my head, now have this college!hazel (or college! bottoms, idk).

i did write this in the middle of my information tech class, so is kinda bad. but i needed to vent about college! hazel.

I feel like Hazel has major in "child education" and minor at "special education". Why? Because all the education students in my college are the sweetest and Hazel is the cutest sweetest and most lovable human being

She takes morning classes, very much a morning person. The kinda of person that wakes up earlier than she actually needs to, makes an great breakfast, reads her notes, takes a shower and then she goes to class.

in my "drunk!hazel" post, she meets y/n at literature class, now y/n is her class crush soon to be gf

y/n isn't a morning person, she has like two morning classes. hazel always brings her coffee because she doesn't like seeing y/n grumpy.

in the same post i say hazel lives with sylvie. i just feel like they energy would match very well.

their apartment is very cute, small, has a couple of plants, y'know those places that are clean but messy but kinda of an organized mess.

they have pizza and mexican nights, watch weird movies, it's a nice little home.

pj is over there constantly (because josie asks her to leave their apartment whenever isabel is there. you know why). she knows where their secret key is, always over for pizza night, never pays for the pizza.

sylvie likes y/n, the biggest y/nhazel shipper out there. she is the one that invites y/n over for their mexican night, deeply regrets after she goes to her room and can listen to >everything< happening at hazel's room.

hazel is a s-class student. really smart, kinda of teachers pet. her and y/n are the top 2 at literature, hazel always has something good to say about the books, y/n always has a criticism.

y/n low-key gets horny whenever hazel "fight" back on her criticism

i think that a lot of girls at uni have a crush on hazel. a couple of boys too, because some guys really don't take a hint.

hazel probably doesn't notice any of those girls. whenever someone flirts with her she thinks that the person is just being nice. y/n is very glad that she helped drunk hazel, other than that she wouldn't have a chance with hazel

always have lunch with the girls (pj, josie, isabel and brittany. sylvie takes late evening classes with stella-rebecca, so she's never with them for lunch). she took y/n to have a lunch with them once, whenever the girl wasn't looking, pj kept doing sexual hand gestures.

hazel isn't a party person. she goes once in a while when she has nothing better to do or is stressed about college.

in general: hazel is a uni heartthrob, top student, very close to having a gf and i love her

[the-xolotl]

What I think your Hazbin Hotel fav says about you

Pt. I ; Charlie, Vaggie, Alastor, Lucifer, Angel

A/N: these are entirely my opinions based on what each of the characters have meant for me. i’m a psych major and like doing lil analysis of things so it’s for funsis nothing else XD and i’m writing these with adult personalities in mind ! just fyi

it’s kinda long, fair warning, lots of text.

—• TAGS: none, completely sfw

ᯓ፥Charlie ꪆ

Starting off with the MC herself; I can see her being a fav bc you are the sunshine coded individual that likes to do things diplomatically first, handles situations with words first and foremost as well as enthusiasm and optimism. You’ll always see the bright side of things and like to see the good in people.

So probably relate a lot to her.

You have a tendency to put others way above yourself and your own needs, most of the time unconsciously so.

Maybe you’re the mom-friend of the group. You’re the most caring and giving out of your surrounding friends or family.

Which kinda makes me think you may have a mix of daddy and mommy issues.

However sometimes your kindness is taken for weakness and naivety when that couldn’t be further from the truth. You’re not unaware of the world around you, in fact you’re probably someone who understands a little too good, so you choose to give positivity to the sea of negativity.

You’re highly emotionally intelligent, mature and likely find yourself always taking the reign in things. You’re a doer, determined to see everything you put your mind to to completion, lots of initiative in many aspects.

A WORKAHOLIC. Completely unaware of that aspect tho. Or just unintentionally so. Bc you are so determine on projects you give 120% and don’t stop until it’s completed.

You probably find comfort in her character in some ways; either bc you see yourself in her or strive to find a person like her who will see your redeeming qualities when you can’t, and want to help you grow as a person.

You aren’t a strict planner or someone who sticks 100% with a plan but do like to have an outline at least. Even if you have to improv further down the line at least you have an idea of wtf you’re doing.

So you can also roll with being spontaneous, you can easily think of a loose path to follow and roll with it whenever.

You’re very enjoyable company !! Smile and laugh is contagious, it’s impossible to not feel good around you.

ᯓ፥Vaggie ꪆ

You struggle a lot with imposter’s syndrome so let me be the one to tell you; you deserve good things, you belong in good places and with the people you love and love you back.

You’re likely the person everyone turns to for a voice of reason.

Ms./Mr./Mx. Hyper-Independent™️

You’re very headstrong, you’re the decision maker in whatever circle you run.

You’re likely also the mediator. Are you the middle child in your family?

You’re a perfectionist to a fault, and fear failure. Sometimes you need a little reassurance.

However, you’re an exceptional lover. You’re loyal, attentive, your love language might be acts of service and/or words of affirmation.

You greatly value those around you and just want to help them be successful.

Sometimes you’re too strict with yourself, even with others but you mean well.

Despite anything though, you have a pretty firm grasp in your sense of self, you know who you are and what you want in life.

You stand up for yourself, you don’t let anyone push you around; you’re the scary dog privileges.

And even if you sometimes come across as hard around the edges, you’re quite soft on the inside. You still choose to act with kindness even if someone doesn’t deserve it. But you’re good at killing with kindness.

You give me Taurus energy. And despite the bullet-point above you have made grown men cry. You’re kind but you are capable to hurting with your words if you so choose.

ᯓ፥Alastor ꪆ

I’ll just get it out of the way: raging daddy issues

But the kind of daddy issues that come from resentment and anger at a fatherly figure or men that remind you of that fatherly figure.

You neither want fatherly comfort nor find someone that is a good fatherly figure. You don’t need it, you’ve been this long without it so what’s the point ?

Maybe you’re likely even the type of person who comforts others but don’t want/let others comfort you. You don’t need others, others need you.

You value your privacy, very reserved about your personal life. Keeping everything close to the vest do to the load of trust issues you carry.

Definitely into older partners (more specifically older men)

Unless don’t you do dating or physical relationships. In this case you maybe find yourself being the older friend of a group of friends.

You don’t have a parental bone in your body but you have this innate need to make sure others never feel the way you did; alone, helpless. This whether you admit it or not.

Much like our resident Radio Demon you have an appreciation for the entertainment and may take some sadistic pleasure in watching the people you don’t care for fail (especially those who have wrong you in the past).

But if not giving a fuck was an olympic sport you’d be a gold medalist. You are winning the 'idgaf war' every time, bc you don’t need to retaliate immediately when someone does do you wrong either, remaining unbothered knowing that person will do themselves in.

You like to play the long game in some situations, waiting for the right time to make a move.

You don’t have time for bullshit, time costs and yours comes at a high rate. You rather get to the point than run circles. And the biggest pet-peeve is getting lead on in any way just to ultimately waste your time and get nothing out it.

In most circumstances you don’t do anything without receiving a benefit from it unless it’s the people you truly care about. Everything has a price, a lot of things you do are for self fulfillment (Not in a negative way. You value yourself and know your worth)

You’re also a go-getter. Not waiting around for opportunities to just fall on your lap you go and make your own opportunities and open your own doors.

However one of your biggest flaws is overestimating yourself which ultimately leads you to feel like you failed at something when really you didn’t, you didn’t reach the intended goal even if the outcome was fine. Pride comes before the fall, for sure (And you’re trying to work on it. Kinda).

But you do have an issue with feeling like you’re absolutely invincible no matter what.

You have your own skeletons in the closet. Things you don’t like looking back on, decisions you regret to this day bc they shaped more of your life than you intended. But here you are persevering in one piece. If maybe a little jaded to the world around you, but in one piece. Good job.

ᯓ፥Lucifer ꪆ

You and Alastor fans are two sides of the same coin but with marked differences.

Daddy issues here too, but the ones who actually want a good fatherly figure. One you often find from a mentor or someone to give you affection and/or guidance.

You’re less likely to seek these out in romantic relationships as really what you want is to heal your inner child.

You heard More Than Anything, cried bc it’s beautiful song than cried harder wondering why couldn’t someone love you like that.

More than anything (ba-dum-tsss) you crave to be protected, you can do it yourself, you have been. But you’re tired. You want someone else to do it for a changed, see you for who you are and love you unconditionally.

I have the feeling you’re the oldest child of a broken home that had to be a 3rd parent at a young age to your even younger siblings and it hurt like a bitch having to leave them once you were able to get out of your parent’s house. But you couldn’t stay there a second longer.

It’s also likely in your upbringing you were seen as the black sheep of the family, whatever the reason may have been. That’s something that still hurts to this day even through the no-contact you’ve likely established.

You have a lot of love to give but often don’t know how to express it or measure it. In the sense that you love too hard or too little, but you care so much. You really do.

And this is why you probably have a lot of people coming to your for a shoulder to cry on, because what you will do is protect the ones you care about the way you wish someone did you in your worse times. This is where your over abundance of love comes the most handy.

BUT behind all of this there’s also a high spirit that can be the life of any party. You have a unique magnetism and easy going personality despite anything that makes people gravitate towards you.

ᯓ፥Angel ꪆ

You have likely been through some awful shit (I’m sorry you had to go through that, me too 🫂) and that has shaped you a lot as a person today.

Probably came out of those experiences a hyper sexual that has to constantly advocate for those of us who don’t cope the same ways others do.

Angel is like a breath of fresh air because for once you get to see a representative whose bad experiences aren’t romanticized or glamorized.

The level at which you relate to him when he yelled “It’s not an act! It’s who I need to be!” was spiritual and it left you a little broken bc you likely use your persona as a shield bc if you don’t laugh you’ll cry

You don’t like letting your past define you but the line between who you are and who’s the persona built for the public keeps thinning more and more.

The trust issues you carry are so deep sometimes you accidentally push people you care about and who care about you away.

Because you do care, so much but it’s hard to let people in not knowing who’s truly going to treat you well.

Sometimes the only was you let in are the ones who go above and beyond to climb the tall thick walls you’ve put around yourself.

But life has made you strong, resilient. You know how to defend yourself and you take no shit from anyone.

You either want Angel’s rambunctious confidence or you have it and know how to work it. (work it 💅)

Don’t forget you’re more than what you can offer people. There’s genuine value in you as the person you are, not for what you can offer.

a/n: thank you for reading. i’ll probably take a while to upload the next parts tbh !

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© 2024 the-xolotl — all rights reserved. do NOT alter, translate, or repost my works on any platform without my consent, do not claim my content as yours.

[end3rs-eye]

Trolls Band Together and the Way it Presents Family Relations

Do you ever watch a movie then get possessed and write a 1623 word long essay about the complicated nuances of sibling relationships? ….me neither

Before we get into it I’m just going to say that a boy band made out of teens and children is never going to end well (look up the jackson 5 if you don’t know who they are already). Seriously, who let them do this? Also as a disclaimer I am the oldest of two so I will obviously not have as much experience with the position of the middle child or the youngest. This is written with the rough estimate of bro-zone ages as John Dory (~19), Bruce/Spruce (~17), Clay (~15), Floyd (~14), Branch (~5). Here's why I’m going with these: link. This got a little (a lot) out of hand but I hope you enjoy :]]

John Dory

John Dory’s role in the family is the leader, the responsible one. He embodies the oldest child syndrome, defined as: Obsession, desire for perfection, high self-esteem, or pressure to meet parents' expectations (link). For the most part John Dory is the closest thing they have to an adult (excluding Grandma who didn’t seem like she was doing much). Keep in mind he’s in his late teens in Bro-zone. He’s given this HUGE amount of responsibility of watching his four younger brothers and isn’t really given credit for it, only being “the bossy one”. This is mentioned once in the movie during their fight on the bus, but isn’t really mentioned afterwards or anything. This is pretty typical for the oldest sibling. Having to take on huge amounts of responsibility at a young age. 

John Dory wants his brothers to be happy so he pushes them to be perfect. He forgets there are other ways to be than just perfect. He ended up pushing them and pushing them until he had pushed them all away. Because of this want, this need to be perfect, John Dory ends up not realizing that people, including himself, are allowed to change. This is seen with his constant babying of branch and deadnaming of Bruce. He even says “Well, I wasn’t allowed to change! I’m the oldest. I had to be the leader” 

Bruce/Spruce

Bruce is introduced as the hearthrob with chiseled abs. There are a couple of main features that people associate with the heartthrob character. Hot, irresponsible, and noncommittal. Out of all Bro-zone members, Bruce has the most healthy relationship with his boy band history. He balances what he hated in Bro-zone with what he liked. He disguards his name and any association with the band (although his reaction to John Dory calling him Spruce shows that he is recognized from time to time).  He settles down quicker than any other member, something that goes directly against heartthrob stereotypes and has an (frankly unbelievable) amount of children. But despite separating himself from Bro-zone, Bruce stays in the spotlight in his co-ownership of Vacay Island. 

Clay

Clay falls into the common comedy relief middle child trope. Clay is also the one that suffers the most from stereotyping during the Bro-zone era. The audience's first introduction of Clay is him being told that he needs to continue being the funny one despite his protests. 

This is made even more evident when he’s introduced post Bro-zone breakup. Clay spends the majority of the 20 years apart being the opposite of the fun guy. He feels like he has something to prove. Clay tries his hardest to distance himself from Bro-zone and in the end he dedicates years to it. His entire personality is trying to escape the stereotypes he was put in as a teen.

Floyd

I have SO MANY feelings about Floyd. He’s the one in the Bro-zone that we get the most character development (other than Branch of course). Floyd’s role in the family is the mediator. He’s the one who watches for the other’s mental health and steps in when John Dory gets a little too intense. In the opening scene he not only checks in with John Dory, telling him to take deep breaths, he also helps Little Branch through some first show nerves. It doesn’t seem like this is the first time either. Floyd is also the one that seems most reluctant to break up the band and to leave Branch alone so it’s clear how much he cares for Branch. He ends up being the rock of the family. Branch tells Poppy that Floyd would be the one brother that he’d be willing to go on another adventure for.*

*I’m not sure if this is actually true, Branch also might do this for his other brothers but definitely not as willingly

Comparatively, Floyd changed the least after the band broke up. He takes a mediator role even in Velvet and Veneer’s relationship and continues to show a people pleasing, other-people-first attitude. This proves true to the real life people pleaser experience, these habits stick around long after leaving the environment that created it. Velvet and Veneer stealing Floyd’s talent is a metaphor for the way that people take and take from a selfless person like Floyd until the person is completely burnt out. Some, like Veneer, are more worried about the person's health but still end up taking it. Others, like Velvet, don't care and take it without thought. 

Another key factor with Floyd is his selfless, self-sacrificial nature. During both John Dory and Branch’s visits to him in the dressing room, Floyd insists that they leave him to save themselves despite his life being in danger. 

Branch

Branch is basically abandonment issues personified. Okay it’s a little more complicated than that but when you get down to it yeah. When I think about Branch, maybe 6 years old, in a boyband it makes me think of family vlog channels. IT’S SO INCREDIBLY UNHEALTHY. I promise I’m normal about this (lying).

Of course these problems start with the fact that he was ACTUALLY ABANDONED??? Then these abandonment issues are only accentuated by his grandma’s death. Whether or not Floyd meant to, he put the weight of taking care of Grandma on Branch’s shoulders. This just means he felt worse being the major cause of her death. This creates the feeling that he’s not only been abandoned again (this time in death) he feels like it’s his fault. Fun!

Branch shows a very interesting combination of self isolation and building his life around making people stay. Particularly his brothers. Branch hides in the fear of being abandoned again, first from the outside world and then from Poppy in his refusal to open up. At the same time he says he doesn’t want them [his brothers] to come back into his life then makes a bunker based on the base they wanted to build together. He keeps wearing Floyd’s old jacket and he holds onto the dream they once had. I mean for someone who claims to want his brothers out of his life did you SEE those puppy dog eyes when they told him they were planning to separate after rescuing Floyd.

Branch’s actual place in the family is the baby of the family. Although this label may have fit him 20 years ago, Branch has long outgrown it. Not that anyone else cares (other than Floyd). His family continues to treat him as the baby and ignore his maturity and needs. Upon reuniting with his older siblings Branch is promptly picked up, pinched, and generally treated like a child. Even Clay and Bruce who except each other in the ways that they’ve changed, still treat Branch like a small child. Now he feels like he has to prove that he isn’t a child, i.e. refusing the pacifier from Baby Diamond over and over again. 

In conclusion, Trolls Band Together is a wonderful movie that presents common band stereotypes and the ways that being put in boxes affect the real people behind the band. It highlights people stuck in their boxes, John Dory as the leader and Floyd as the sensitive people-pleaser. It also shows those who try (to vairing degrees of success) escape the boxes, Branch as the baby, Bruce as the heartthrob, and Clay as the funny one.

[clovermarigold]

Smoke & Ice Head cannons and facts

Small facts and characteristics that are cannon to my fic, Smoke & Ice. Please note I do not claim any of these to be cannon to the MK franchise!

Don't worry I won't do any woobifying.

Also note after finishing this, I should have named this Angst angst and more angst

pt.2 pt.3

Calla has actually never been in a relationship because she always felt responsible for the Mangrove and like their parents/caretaker/sibling, even when they were around her age. (#oldest daughter vibes)

Bi han grew up with a different side of his father compared to his siblings. I head cannon that he probably learned his assholery from his father when he was younger. But he grew as a person as he had more kids.

Thats also why I think Bi han has both his evident hate and some internalized hate for Smoke. Because he's jealous of how soft and easy he went on him. (#oldest son vibes). This coldness and quiet resentment are also why he is TERRIBLE with children. He will seriously treat them like whole ass adults.

Calla: Go on. Talk to him

Bi han: ...Wanna beer?

Calla: NO!

Smoke on the other hand, is amazing with children. He didn't have a lot of interactions or experience with children, but that didn't stop him from being really good at it. Kids are really good at vibe checks, they can tell.

Smoke tends to hyper analyze and feel guilty after being around the children however, because he feels like he's projecting his memories of his sister onto them.

Smoke despite having MAJOR trauma has a habit of minimalizing it and brushing it off. Which infuriates Kuai Liang to no end.

Kuai Liang is the middle child that acts like the eldest. He got a glimpse to the kind of man their father was, since he's not that much younger than Bi han. But he was one of the first things to inspire their father to grow as a person.

Despite being the middle child, and the brother Bi han hates the least. It's usually Smoke who is the mediator between the two brothers.

The three brothers have vastly different relationships with their parents.

Bi han was an absolute mama's boy. He was always closer to his mom since she was the only person he would accept kindness, love, and even pity from. The day she died was when he truly became the Bi han we all know today. He had a terrible relationship with his father. Due to being put through grueling training when he was younger, as well and having the Lin Kuei's greatness instilled in his mind. Only to watch his father change and abandon this ideology as he aged. To him, any attack to his values is an attack on him.

Kuai Liang on the other hand unfortunately suffered from middle child syndrome. Often not being prioritized due to his mother's focus on Bi han, as well as his father's priority on training Bi han to lead, and later favoritism of Tomas. This neglect is what made him easily the most independent of bunch in their youth. Though this did change after the loss of their mother, which left Bi han to be the most independent and cold.

Smoke, however, is a more complicated matter. While he is undoubtably a daddy's boy. Due to his lack of a present birth father growing up and being taken in by him. His relationship with their mother is difficult. In no way does he dislike or have any problems with her. He just can't bring himself to truly see her as his mom. After watching the death of his true mother and sister, Tomas inherited a number of mental issues that the Lin Kuei never truly bothered to address. The loss of his twin sister made him incredibly clingy and reliant on his brothers, but the loss of his mother left him feeling guilty any time he tried to bond with his adoptive one.

Johhny cage has MAJOR daddy issues and minor mommy issues. Based on character interactions from both MK11 & MK1, we can deduce that he was an asshole. His dad switched between emotionally abusive and absent all together.

While he absolutely adores and loves his mom for being the parent who stayed and raised him, it didn't change the fact that she gave mostly tough love, being a cop and a single mother of two. (His brother who is said to be an asshole though we don't know the extent)

Movies were his main escape from his shitty home life and social life. I decided to keep his characteristics from Mortal Kombat Cage Match, being that he was bullied as a kid. Both by classmates and his brother. As a result, he absolutely loathes bullies, and is fully down to beat the shit out of any adult or minor that bullies any future kids of his, nephews, nieces, or just friend's.

When recreating the timeline, Liu Kang had to decide what to do with the children of Kronica and whether or not to include them in it.

I don't have a canon decision of Shinnok, since we won't be focusing on that in the story, and it'll probably be explained in future games. But Cetrion is a different story.

Cetrion was made to be a caretaker of the earth realm and its life. However, after falling in love with a mortal, was granted permission by Liu Kang to live among them as a mortal.

Their children would eventually become the dryad and subsequentially the Hamadryad, which is why they do not exist in any other previous timelines. It is also why Cetrion was able to become mortal without abandoning her duties. By creating a clan tasked with her previous role.

Anyways! Hope you enjoyed my "Head cannons". Have some tissues on your way out, I know I needed them.

Tag list

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@whore-of-many-hot-men

@cherryblossomly

[blurredcolour]

I Wish You Love | Part One

I Wish You Love Masterlist

Lewis Nixon x Housemaid!Female Reader

Watching Miss Isobel encourage Lieutenant Nixon's affections only to ignore his letters as soon as he's deployed proves too much for you to bear.

Warnings: Canon typical violence, Angst, Class Divide, Infidelity, Dishonesty, Discussion of War Wounds, Language, Smoking, Alcohol Consumption, Inevitable Historical and Military Inaccuracies, Mature/Explicit Themes - 18+ ONLY.

Author's Note: Reader's nationality is British and liberties have been taken in describing her background and family life for the sake of plot. No physical descriptions or y/n used. A good portion of this fic will be letter-based. This is a work of fiction based off the portrayal by the actors in the HBO series. I hold nothing but respect for the real life individuals referenced within.

Word Count: 4611

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You had met Lewis Nixon first. On a misty morning in early December 1943 when The Honourable Isobel St John’s dog, Dash III, was yet again carelessly let out of the house by the naïve kitchen maid Else. The poor girl, freshly arrived from Austria, meant well, truly. But she simply did not seem to comprehend the vastness of Lydiard Park, nor the fact that a great portion of it had become off limits, requestioned by the 101st Airborne to construct a field hospital in anticipation of the invasion of France.

Wrapping a shawl around the shoulders of your black service dress, lace collar at your throat, you had forced yourself out into the damp chill, shoes crunching on the pea gravel path as you had called out for the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. Miss Isobel thought quite highly of herself, typical middle child syndrome if one were being quite honest, and had kept a series of Cavalier’s named after Queen Victoria’s own – though she preferred the Blenheim colouring to the original’s tri-coloured coat. Of all the staff, and humans, at Lydiard House, Dash III was most likely to respond to you and so this task was one with which you were quite familiar.

What you had not expected to find was the missing canine squirming in the arms of a handsome American Lieutenant, desperately trying to lick at his striking jawline.

“Dash!” You had cried out at the state of his filthy coat, the majority of the white streaked with mud.

“That’s your name, then, is it?” The Lieutenant had smirked, a label bearing the last name of ‘Nixon’ stitched onto his uniform above his left breast pocket.

“Dash the third, Leftenant.” You had gulped roughly at the broad grin that had unfurled across his features at your British pronunciation of his rank.

“Dash the third. I am Lewis Nixon the third, what destiny we should meet.” Nixon had addressed the filthy dog fondly, prompting him to squirm in delight, smearing all manner of muck onto his uniform.

“I am terribly sorry for the trouble, sir, please allow me.” You had moved to take Dash from Nixon, but the gentle shake of his head had halted your movements.

“Not at all, miss, I’m assuming this rogue Dash belongs up at the house?” He had raised an eyebrow and you had nodded quickly. “Allow me then, my clothes are meant to get dirty.” He had tucked the dog under his arm more securely and began walking back with you. “I take it this is not Dash’s first great escape?”

You had shaken your head quickly, biting back a laugh. “Unfortunately not, Leftenant. I truly appreciate your help returning him to us. Miss Isobel will be relieved.”

“And how about you?” Nixon had inquired with a grin.

You had looked to your feet quickly, the expression only making him transition from good looking to dangerously handsome. “Grateful, of course, sir.”

“And is that what I should call you? Grateful? Is that her name, Dash?” He had looked down to the dog beneath his arm, earning a warm tongue along his cheek in response.

A laugh had escaped your lips before you had introduced yourself properly as the pair of you neared the 18th century Palladian style home. “Please follow me to the kitchen door, Leftenant, I’ll need to give Dash a bath before he is unleashed upon the household.”

Nixon’s appearance in the servants’ hall had caused quite a stir, earning him an introduction to the family upstairs upon which Miss Isobel had immediately set her eyes on him. The Honourable Isobel St John was a complicated woman and while you were the same age, born in 1918, your experiences and perceptions of the world could not have been more different. Third child of Viscount Bolingbroke, what she lacked in social standing she more than made up for in entitlement.

While her parents, Bertrand and Elizabeth St John were disappointed in her unwed state at the age of twenty-five, four years into the war it was more common than not. And it was not for any lack of suitors on Miss Isobel’s part. A veritable parade of uniformed men had joined the family at the simpler dinner parties they now hosted, particularly with their eldest child and only son taken prisoner by the Japanese so early in the war. With eldest daughter Gwendoline busily running her own household with two children, and youngest Rosamund off with the Auxiliary Territorial Service, Lydiard House was held hostage by the whims and desires of Miss Isobel. And through the winter of 1943 into spring 1944 that had been Lieutenant Lewis Nixon.

From the glimpses you caught of him whilst serving cocktails and dinner, the lack of footmen pressing housemaids such as yourself into service in unusual roles, and the starry-eyed descriptions provided by Miss Isobel herself as you helped her dress and undress before said gatherings, it seemed Lieutenant Nixon fit in quite well at an upper-class table. Naturally his duties prevented him from visiting every weekend, but he was present more often than not, and as the weather grew warmer, he and Miss Isobel would take long walks on the grounds still available to the St John family, Dash happily accompanying them on a leash.

Lieutenant Nixon was polite and friendly, greeting you with a familiar nod when you would fetch Dash for his meal as they were lounging beside the lake, or throwing you a smile as you would hold out his preferred whiskey on a silver tray before dinner. But you by no means expected his generosity that rainy Sunday in mid-April. Having taken the majority of the day off for your father’s birthday, you had seen to it that Miss Isobel was dressed and on her way to breakfast, before changing into a once-colourful dress of your own, frowning as the skies opened up.

Pulling on your Macintosh, you tucked your small gift into the inside pocket before dashing out to the garage to fetch your bicycle, heading down the gravel drive toward the road into town when Lieutenant Nixon’s covered jeep pulled up beside you.

“Where are you going in this deluge?!” He peered out at you, and you swallowed.

“Good morning, Leftenant. Headed into Swindon to see my father. You’ll find Miss Isobel in the breakfast room, sir.”

Your eyes widened as he put the jeep in park, the door swinging open before he dashed around to open the tail gate. “Put your bike the back, I’ll drive you.”

“But sir, I…” You trailed off as the jacket of his uniform was growing darker with rain by the moment and found yourself unable to argue at the expense of his clothing.

You quickly dismounted and surrendered your bicycle, trying not to stare too intently as he easily hoisted it into the back before ushering you into the passenger’s seat on the right side of the vehicle – the positioning utterly foreign, but you quickly dashed inside, sliding off your hood as he jogged back to the driver’s side.

“This is truly unnecessary, Leftenant, it’s out of your way and will only delay you.” You pleaded with him once he was back under the canvas cover.

He gave you his lopsided grin, shaking his head, scattering some raindrops from his garrison cap. “Izzy’ll not even notice, let her enjoy her cold toast.”

You bit your lip savagely, well aware of the degree to which Miss Isobel loathed that nickname, yet she never seemed to correct him on it. Executing a smooth three-point turn, he aimed the jeep back toward the main road and began to drive to Swindon. “How long does it take you to cycle there?”

“About twenty minutes, sir. It’s a nice ride on a dry day.” You undid the buttons on your Macintosh, overheating in the garment, and slid it open to reveal your dress.

Lieutenant Nixon’s glance in your direction, and quick double-take, had you smoothing the hem of it against your knees self-consciously. “I’m sorry, you look lovely, I’m just so used to seeing you in black and white it’s like we’ve landed in Oz and you’re suddenly in Technicolor over there.”

The analogy was so striking that you were completely taken aback.  Laughter bubbled up from your throat as you shook your head and belatedly covered your mouth as he grinned broadly, seeming quite pleased with himself.

“So, you grew up in Swindon?” Nixon asked over the sound of rain pelting the roof and windshield and you nodded quickly.

“Yes, sir.” You swallowed, hands planted in your lap as you tugged at your fingertips nervously.

“Izzy tells me you have a brother fighting in Italy, is that right?”

You looked to him, startled to learn that you had ever been a topic of conversation between him and Miss Isobel. “I do, sir.”

“Is he older or younger than you?” He took his eyes off the road to meet yours briefly, seeming genuinely interested in your answer.

“Johnny is twelve minutes older, sir.”

“Twins?!” His wide, brown eyes flashed back to yours and you nodded with a soft laugh.

“I don’t think I’ve met a twin before…” He murmured thoughtfully. “And what does your father do?”

Swallowing nervously, you glanced out the window a moment to carefully formulate your answer. “He picks up work at the Swindon Railway Works.” You replied, leaving out the part that he only did so when he was physically well enough. The loss of his leg on the Somme was a wound that had never fully healed and nagged him more and more as he got older.

“Do you get to see him often?” He asked, making the turn into town easily as you shook your head sadly.

“Not as often as I should – it’s his birthday today, though, so I asked to take most of the day a few months ago.”

“Well, wish him a happy birthday for me, will you?” He smiled and you nodded before guiding him through the streets to the simpler, working-class neighbourhood where the one-bedroom flat you’d grown up in was located.

Lieutenant Nixon parked the jeep in front of the building and the pair of you hurried out into the rain to retrieve your bicycle from the back. You had just finished thanking him profusely when you turned to see your father standing in the doorway on his crutches, not wearing prosthetic leg. It was no surprise, actually, in weather like this he found the thing extremely uncomfortable.

A look of understanding crossed Lieutenant Nixon’s face and he insisted on walking you to the door, offering his hand to shake your father’s.

“Happy Birthday, sir.”

Your baffled father had shaken it in return with his thanks, completely taken aback by the American Lieutenant on his doorstep.

“Thank you again, Leftenant.”

“It was my pleasure, enjoy your afternoon off.” He smiled and dashed back to the car as you ushered your father inside, explaining everything as you helped him to his chair.

Mercifully, when it came time for you to return to Lydiard House for the evening, the rain had eased up and you were able to cycle back without getting soaked to the skin. As you came up the drive, you spotted Lieutenant Nixon and Miss Isobel walking arm in arm, heads bent toward one another as Dash walked alongside. You dismounted quickly, trying to be discrete, but the dog turned as soon as he caught your scent, barking happily in greeting.

“Ah, you’re back.” Miss Isobel said flatly.

“Good Evening Miss Isobel, Leftenant Ni–“

“Oh, don’t be so British, it’s Lieutenant.” Miss Isobel cut you off, tone rather condescending as she slipped the leash from the Lieutenant’s grasp and held it out toward you expectantly. “Will you take Dash inside for his meal? Then I’ll see you to change for dinner.”

You hurried to close the distance, pushing your bike along with you as you took the leash from her, Dash happily wending his way between your ankles in greeting. “Certainly, Miss.” You replied patiently before excusing yourself with a curtsy, leading the dog inside, finding it rather awkward to manage the bicycle as well but after nearly ten years of serving the St John family you knew better than to test Miss Isobel.

“I think it’s charming how she says it.” You bit the inside of your cheek savagely, trying not to overhear Lieutenant Nixon’s defense of your pronunciation, particularly when Miss Isobel replied in a sultry voice.

“I’ll tell you what’s charming…” The rest of her statement was mercifully out of the range of your hearing as you tucked your bicycle away in the garage.

As the calendar flipped to May, Lieutenant Nixon’s presence became less and less frequent at Lydiard and the ever-impatient Miss Isobel’s eye began to wander. It most certainly was not your place to have an opinion, or loyalties to any of her suitors, but the presence of a RAF pilot named Shore left a sour taste in your mouth.

It was early on June 7 when the first of Lieutenant Nixon’s letters to Miss Isobel arrived. Placing it on a silver tray, you took it up first thing in the morning when you went up to dress her for the day. It sat on her vanity, unopened still, when you changed her for dinner with Captain Shore, remained there while she flirted with him brightly through the meal, and was brushed into the dust bin as you undressed her for bed. “Oh, Miss I think you…”

“That will be all, good night.” She waved her hand dismissively and you frowned, excusing yourself with a nod before stepping out of the room.

Sitting heavily on your twin bed in the attic, the metal frame creaking in protest, your brow remained furrowed as all you could picture was Lieutenant Nixon’s caring face as he had listened attentively to your answers whilst going out of his way to drive you into town. He was a kind and considerate man, not to mention excruciatingly handsome, but now that he was out of sight, he was quite simply out of Miss Isobel’s mind. For all anyone knew he could be lying dead in France somewhere by now, the news of the invasion fresh in everyone’s mind, particularly the steep toll and tenuous hold.

“You keep making that face and it’ll get stuck like that.” Helen, your roommate chided warmly, and you blinked rapidly, shaking your head to clear it with a self-deprecating laugh.

“Just overthinking things, sorry Helen. Shall I get the light?”

With her agreement, you flicked the switch off at the wall and shuffled back to bed, sliding under the covers, mulling over the conundrum of the unopened letter upstairs. You would be emptying that dustbin tomorrow morning while Miss Isobel was at breakfast. Perhaps you should rescue it in case she changed her mind. Plan formulated, you were able to get some rest and later secured the correspondence, storing it in the bottom of your suitcase.

One week later, the second letter arrived, and you took it up to Miss Isobel hopefully.

“Oh, you can stop bringing these to me, I shan’t be taking up correspondence with him.” She muttered dismissively, not even taking the letter from the tray on which you presented it to her.

Your entire body went rigid for a moment, and it took a great summoning of strength to reply, “Yes, Miss.”

“And take Dash for an extra long walk, would you, he’s been positively listless the past few weeks and the weight of his gaze is quite a bore.” She sank in the vanity chair expectantly as you glanced over at the dog, lying forgotten on his plush, velvet bed, no longer of use to her as Captain Shore was allergic.

“Yes, Miss.” Your reply was perhaps terser than it ought to be, but to your good fortune, Miss Isobel was already flipping through a magazine idly as she waited for you to begin styling her hair.

Drawing deeply from your well of restraint, you managed not to jab her scalp with any pins as you secured her hair into a set of fashionable victory rolls before you called to Dash to take him for a walk. As you descended the stairs, you took the abandoned letter from its tray and shoved it into your pocket, grabbing Dash’s leash from the backdoor in the servant’s hall and heading out for a lengthy walk of the grounds. It did both of you good to get out of that house, Dash immediately perking up, tailing wagging as he trotted to-and-fro to inspect the foliage while you worked out your frustration at the petulant child you worked for by setting a brisk pace.

You only slowed after about thirty minutes, when a sheen of sweat had gathered at your brow and your legs were beginning to ache, changing to a stroll as you circled the lake, laughing softly as Dash barked at the ducks far out in the water who paid him no mind. “I promise to bring you out here more often, you silly boy.” You muttered, sliding a hand into your pocket and blinking as you found the letter, guilt twisting like a knife in your belly. “Because there’s a lot to make up for when it comes to your mistress.”

Swallowing tightly, you slowly pulled out the envelope, looking over Lieutenant Nixon’s tidy cursive. Certainly, there were laws against reading another’s mail, but the immorality of entertaining a man’s affections for six months only to throw him over as soon as he went to war seemed to outweigh all that in your mind. He had taken the time to write to an ungrateful, spoiled woman, the least someone could do was grant him the courtesy of reading it. Johnny had always said what a joy it was to send and receive letters, how it took his mind off life at the front first in North Africa and now Italy, and as someone who got to enjoy the safety and comfort of home it was a duty in your mind to do whatever you could to help those fighting for the Allies.

Taking a shaky breath, you carefully slipped the letter from the pre-sliced envelope – Miss Isobel was not even expected to open her own mail, after all – and unfolded the sheets of paper.

Pressing your fingertips to your lips, you only realized your feet had stopped their progress across the lawn when Dash’s leash tugged at your wrist insistently before he bounded over to you, pressing his paws onto your calf impatient to continue on. “Sorry, Dash, yes.” You whispered, carefully folding the letter and sliding it back into its envelope before returning it to your pocket.

For all his jokes and smirks, there had always been an air of melancholy about Lieutenant Nixon, one that he seemed to hide beneath a good story and strong drink. The only crime, as far as you could see, would be for his letters, written with such care and affection and filled with a need for connection, to remain unanswered. You could write well-enough, had received excellent marks on your cursive before you left school at sixteen to begin working and supporting your father as his old wound had become more and more troublesome.

You would, of course, toe the line of impersonating your employer. There would be no soppy declarations, just descriptions of the home and the family. Stories to keep his spirits up – just as he requested. Begging out of the after-dinner socializing with the rest of the staff due to a headache, you slipped up to your room to retrieve the first letter from the bottom of your suitcase and sat on your bed to read it as well, intending to reply to both.

Settling against the headboard with some fresh paper and a pen, you nibbled on the end of it thoughtfully, trying to decide how to begin your response.

Lieutenant Nixon

My Dear Lewis

Dearest Lewis

“You’d think I was trying to reinvent the wheel…” You hissed under your breath before grabbing a new sheet of paper and starting anew.

You bit your lip as you signed off, taking more than a little pleasure in perpetuating a nickname you knew Miss Isobel loathed. There were moments in the letter where you may have let a bit more of your own personality shine through but on the whole, you were satisfied that it was a rather good impersonation of your mistress. And most important of all, provided Lieutenant Nixon with the fuel for his imagination that he so longed for.

Preparing an envelope with the mailing address and Miss Isobel’s return address, you carefully folded it all up once the ink had properly dried and placed it in the outgoing post that night after you’d helped Miss Isobel change for bed. In your thoughts as you fell asleep was not only the hope for your brother’s safe return, but also that of Lieutenant Nixon, too.

--------------------------

Read Part Two

I Wish You Love Masterlist

Tag list: @ronsparky, @fuckoffthanos, @bcon24

[parvuls]

omgcp characters + siblings headcanons

bitty - canonically an only child.

jack - canonically an only child.

shitty - I have this very specific headcanon about shitty's mom remarrying and shitty having a teenaged half-sister, who he fucking adores but who unfortunately thinks he's embarrassing as fuck. the only times she willingly has a conversation with him is when he brings lardo over (because lardo is cool).

lardo - has older brothers energy. you can't fight this. I'd say she has at least one older brother, and they get along pretty well. they don't talk much when she's at school, but they have an ongoing facebook chat exchange where they send each other dumb memes and funny cat videos.

ransom - according to the wiki, has two sisters. is most likely the eldest sibling and likes to lie to himself that he's their protective older brother, but honestly they could take him in a fight no problem. talks to his sisters the most out of the guys (his pregame routine includes facetiming them). EDITED: oops, it's actually canon he has one older sister and one younger one. I maintain that he still thinks he's their protective brother, and is still incredibly wrong about it.

holster - according to the wiki, has three sisters. gives off major middle child vibes, and no I will not take criticism on this. I would actually say he's a middle child and has a twin sister, if I didn't think he'd make having a twin sister his whole personality and mention her constantly.

chowder - canonically has a sister. I think he's the younger sibling and can most definitely be the annoying younger sibling when he's in the mood. does things like boast to his friends about how cool and accomplished his sister is and then go home and pull third-grade pranks on her all summer vacation. he's that "I can call her names because she's my sister but nobody else is allowed!!" brother.

nursey - has a much younger brother, like almost ten years younger. isn't and never was chill about this fact. when he goes home for breaks he's all like yeah whatever we'll probably have to do kid shit because of my baby bro but is then on the verge of tears when his brother tackle-hugs him as soon as he gets home. has one (1) picture in a full on elf costume from when he took his brother to the mall to see santa, and dex and chowder make sure everyone and their dog has seen that pic.

dex - canonically has a brother. probably has a whole bunch of brothers and sisters, like, at least four - so is the fourth out of five siblings, two of which are sisters and two are brothers. they all demand more attention than him, either because they're the perfect child or because they're the demon child, so he has that forgotten middle child syndrome. shared a bedroom with a sibling until he left for college and most definitely has hilarious life-long issues because of it.

[romana-after-dark]

The Wrong Way: Chapter 6

Dark!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader Tommy Miller x reader (secondary)

Masterlist

Spotify playlist

Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, an both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?

Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death, mentions of potential csa/child abuse but does not even come close to happening, forced pregnancy, forced housewife shit, breeding, breeding kink?!?!

Heavy on the warning for guns

**************************

Waking up with Joel meant morning sex, and now that he was recovered from food poisoning after a whole day of no sex, he was rock hard by the time you were up, rocking his hips in the curve of your ass. Not long later, he was fucking you on your sides, arms wrapped tightly around. You avoided his kiss; his breath smelled gross due to the puking, and he was courteous enough to keep his face buried in your hair. You were starting to find you really liked when he took you from behind, it hit something delicious inside you, bringing you close with every pump; how did he have this much energy so early?

“Uh, uh, uh” The sounds come out your mouth in rhythm to his thrusts, warmth covering your body, the pleasure building as you clung to Joel’s strong arm wrapped your middle, holding on for dear life. “Joel, Joel I’m close, please touch me? Gonna cum again”

“You wanna cum again, little one?” He panted, hot breath in your neck, arms moving up to grope your breasts. “Not every day I get two out of yuh”

“Yes sir, please” You whimper for him, even as his hand crept further up your body, away from where you need him, but you trusted Joel. “Wanna cum again, wanna cum with you.”

Suddenly, his large gruff hand clamped around your throat your breathing laboured and raspy as you lurch, and his face was right next to your, beard scratching your skin. “You gonna tell me why your fuck’n brother was here last night?”

All the blood in your body drained out of your body, a million questions in your head as you wrapped your hands around his large one trying to pull him off of you. How did he know? How much did he hear? Did your refusal to go with Zach seal not only your fate, but Zach’s Lorenzo’s, fuck… would Tommy be punished for this? “Joel, please.”

His hand tightened. “Answer me” He was inside you still, the reminisce of your ruined orgasm leaving you shaking

“H-he wanted to rescue me” you rasp out, wriggling against his body with your hand on him, trying to get out. 

“Then why the fuck are you still here?” His breath smelled like puke and morning breath, overpowering the smell of sex and adding to your heightened terror. Would Joel actually kill you for not going? 

“I din wa’a,” You cough, your throat hurting as your breathing is restricted. “Joel, ca- breath.” dark spots came around your eyes

He lessened his grip and you gasp, deep sputtering breathes filling your lungs again. “How the fuck did he get in? Where was Lorenzo?” You decide to let Lorenzo live, he knew too much about your brother, and you could still save Zach if you played your cards right. Besides, he was no Nick, you didn’t enjoy getting people hurt.

“Lorenzo was in the bathroom, I don’t know how he got in! Please,” You continued writhing as Joel was still inside you, and he began fucking you again but did not let go of your throat. “I didn’t wanna go, I wanted to stay with you.”

Joel’s speed was slow and steady, pulling all the way back and slamming in, making breathing even harder. “Do I need to kill your fucking brother?”

“No! No, Joel, please, I stayed, didn’t I? Please don’t.”

He stopped choking you, his neck around your throat suddenly so soft, his lips kissing your bruised neck and he changed positions; you on your back, Joel knelt before you as he fucked into you faster. “I won’t for now, little one, but just know if you leave, he’s the first place I’m going to and I’m making his death as slow as Nicks, understood?”

Looking up at him, still holding his hand around your neck, you nod frantically. “I won’t, I won’t Joel, I swear!” You cry; you want Tommy, but after last night you weren’t sure he’d come to your rescue anymore… and calling for him would solidify his death and yours, either way.

Sitting back and finally letting go of your throat and you get a full breath in, Joel pulls out and jacks off on you're body before collapsing back onto you, his heavy and ever-oddly comforting weight on you, despite the fact bruised your neck, you were so happy to have him with you, warm and gentle, you wrap your arms around his middle. 

Joel kisses you, and you aren’t even bothered by the smell anymore, just so happy for the affection. “Good, because if you ever try to fucking leave again I will tie you to the bed and set this fucking house on fire.”

You didn’t even have it in you to be scared, or hurt, or sad… you just swore up and down between kisses that you were his, and you never wanted to leave. When things calmed down, you were in his arms again, resting as he kissed your bruising neck.

“You play guitar?” You ask softly, looking at the 6 string all dusty resting up against his dresser.

“Use-tah. Long time ago.”

“Oh…” You couldn’t help the disappointment in your voice. “Okay”

Joel turned to you, his mouth leaving your neck. “Why?”

You kept looking away, embarrassed you got your hopes up. “Nothin”

Joel took your face in his jaw, turning you, forcing you to look at him. “Tell me, little one”

“I just… I was kinda hoping to hear something… that’s all, not a big deal”

His eyes darted between yours, you could practically hear him thinking, before he let go and abruptly stood up. “Don’t work, anyway. Needs strings. Besides, I havn’t played in years.”

“It’s okay” You smile up at him. Music would be nice… Zach played a little bit of piano, your mom had taught him some. He could play Red River Valley, singing it for you sometimes until Joel’s men destroyed the piano… that a few years ago, long before you every met Joel, or Tommy. You did recognize one of the men, one who lives here now. His name was Aiden. He was an asshole like Nick, but after Nick was skinned alive, he didn’t dare look at you. 

After a bath, (which you made Joel brush his teeth beforehand) you were back in your room as he left for ‘business’, and as expected, the door opened around noon, with a nervous looking Tommy entering carrying a tray with bread and the leftover soup from last night. “Hey honey- What the fuck!?” Tommy about dropped the food as he set it down and rushed over to you, hand on your neck. “Fucking hell, what did he do? When was this?” The frantic worry in his eyes was evident as he tilted your head with a soft, gentle grip on your chin, a contrast to Joel’s harsh one earlier this morning. 

But you pulled back, and Tommy let go of you. “It’s nothing, Tommy.”

His face dropped. “Hey… hey whats wrong?” He noticed your change in demeanor.

You glare at him, but without much power behind it. “I didn’t forget last night” I whisper.

Sighing, Tommy gets up to close the door and brings you your food. “I’m sorry, I really am.”

“You’re just sorry you got caught in a lie!”

“Yeah, yeah I am.” Tommy deadpans. “I never wanted you to find out, is that you want you here? But not because I want you here. I want you far, far away from Joel, as far away as you can, but not… not now…” He speaks in earnest, you want to believe him…

“I don’t want to leave, Tommy. That’s why I didn’t go with Zach while everyone was sick, I don’t wanna go. Joel… it’s better here”

Tommy’s fast twists into concern. “What do you… what does that mean?”

“I’m safe here. I’m safe from everything going on out there… Joel protects me.”

His face was unreadable. “Honey, no, no that’s…” Shaking his head, he tries to find the right words. “Joel’s not safe either, you know that right? He branded you, he raped you, he did that-” He references your bruised neck “To you!”

“Don’t yell at-”

“Joel is the bad guy! He is the one you need protection from!”

“He’s the one that killed Nick, Tommy!” You shout at him, angered. “Not you! You let Joel brand me, you let Joel rape in front of everyone, you LET HIM!” You stand up on your shitty mattress and Tommy stands with you. He is much taller but you do not waver as you point at him. “So don’t act like you are my savior, when you just have a savior complex! The only person who can protect me from Joel is Joel!” You don’t know why you are suddenly so angry… but god, everything from the last few months… you were locked up in your little room, the anger had to go somewhere… “Those men out there” You point outside “I could walk out here naked, and none of them would touch me, not because of you, but because of Joel! He only did this to my neck because Zach came and tried to take me when he couldn’t keep me safe from dad, he branded me because I tried to run, he raped me because I put up a fight, he hurts me when I or someone else does something and as long as no one interferes, that includes you, Tommy, everything is fine!” 

Tommy let you, he let you scream and yell because in the end, you were right. He could tell you that he was the one that made sure you ate every day, that stop the others when Joel left you to be gang raped, that he was the only patching up your wounds… but you were right, Joel still did every he wanted to you, and Tommy couldn’t stop him. Tommy knew what you meant by interfer… it had become clear how touchy he was, how he held you and cared for you… and he was putting you in danger as he did that.

“Okay” He whispers, eyes closed. “I get it. Joel is the one who protects you… not me…” He opens them, and you swear you saw his eyes glistening. “Can I still be your friend?” 

He looked so young all of a sudden, despite his mustache and the lies around his eyes… You calm down from your outburst, and you feel bad… feel bad for how much you yelled at someone who had only tried to help you… but you needed to be safe with Joel. “With the door open” You couldn’t leave room for suspicion.

Things with Tommy were different, after that. You withdrew from him, no longer spending hours playing card games and talking… but he still came and kept you company, as long as you’d allow him. But as soon as Joel was home, you belonged to the older brother. I wasn’t fair to Tommy, you knew… but neither Joel nor Tommy had been through what you had, were living through what you were, and you were just trying to survive. Tommy was no longer your refuge. You slept in Joel’s bed every night, you spent more time with Joel than Tommy… and Tommy began spending more time working… He’d go away over nights more and more, sometimes a few days at a time… you couldn’t help but miss him, but this was your bed to lay in. You did have more freedom, however. Since you had an opportunity to leave and didn’t Joel trusted you more. You cooked sometimes, began cleaning a bit… it was something to do, and you began to enjoy it. Plus, the men were a lot less cold to you when you’re the one providing real home cooked food; a few thank you’d had been mumbled here and there, mostly from Jack who was the more polite of the group.

You had gone to bed in Joel's arms, fell asleep in his tight grasp, safe and warm, Tommy was out on some overnight trip when you woke up to commotion in the living area, shouts of the men, Joel screaming about something, clearly on a rager and you were going to stay in bed until Joel settled it and inevitable came back to the room wanting to use your sleeping body to blow off steam… when you heard it. Tommy yelling in pain. Instantly, you forgot about every you had been angry about, and rushed out the door in time to see Joel pistol whip Tommy in front of a crowd of the men. You vaguely register Jack telling you to stay out of it and Aziz saying ‘don’t’, but it didn’t matter; Joel was hurting Tommy.

“Joel stop!” You scream and run to Joel, but stop dead in your track as Joel turned the gun on you, and you find yourself wide-eyed and back into the wall, staring at the barrel of a gun as Tommy trying to tell Joel to stop from where he lay on the ground.

Joel wasn’t listening, his voice smooth and calm despite the shaking rage behind them. “How long you been sleep’n with my brother, little one?” 

You were frozen in place, unable to speak, but Tommy was trying to get up, still reeling from the pistol whip that had his head bleeding. “Joel, no, we never did anything, I was just keeping her company-”

He lowers the gun temporarily. “No way you put yourself between me and a man unless he’s fucked your stupid little pussy.” He tapped your cunt with the gun before bringing it back up.

"Joel, no-" You whisper, terrified

“Close your eyes” He said to you, his voice a deadly calm, before shouting. “CLOSE YOUR EYES!” 

In the background, you can hear vaguely as Tommy tries to reason with Joel, stumbling to get up; he is on one knee, his hand reaching out using his signature ‘calm down, Joel’ voice, but right now, you are looking into Joel’s eyes, so often filled with affection for you, but now dead and cold. You do as you are told, closing your eyes, your knees about to buckle in fear of Joel painting the wall with your brain matter. “I didn’t-” You try to say, but stop as Joel caresses your face with the barrel of the gun, gently shushing you.

“Here's what we’re doing sweetheart” If you weren’t away of the situation, his tone wasn’t unlike how he’d gentle coax you into whatever position he wanted you in. “When you open your eyes,you’re gonna tell me ‘No Joel, I never slept with with your goddamn pathetic stupid dumbass pussy of a brother’ in more or less words and if I don’t believe you…” He tapped your cheek twice making little gun shots sounds. “No more pretty little girl, okay?”

It takes everything in you to not cry, merely whimpering as you feel the cool metal on your cheek, and you nod. You were almost certain you couldn’t do this. You had never been a good liar, only held on this long because Joel seemed to trust you… seemed to think you were in a relationship early on when all he did was hurt you. But now, now you’d have to look him in the eyes and lie, and almost certainly you’d be dead moments later.

“Okay” You whisper, voice quite.

“Joel, c’mon, leave her out of this”

Joel didn’t look at him. “Not helping her case, Tom” He nudges you with the gun. “Times up, open your eyes.”

You take a deep, steadying breath and open them, you are ready to try and lie, to save yourself, to save Tommy… you open your mouth. “I n-”

“I made her do it” Tommy’s voice broke out from behind Joel, causing him to turn around, and your knees gave out in relief. You only stop from hitting the floor because Lorenzo catches you, setting you down, and stepping away lest he get caught up in all this.

“Bullshit” Joel said, but you could see the gears turning.

“I did! It was her first time, and, I wanted it, that’s why I wanted you to wait” Tommy wasn’t the best liar, but he was trying to deflected it away from you.

“No,” Joel shook his head. “No, she bled when I took’er, I remember her bleed’n”

“Because you RAPED HER DRY, JOEL!” Tommy’s frustration with his brother boiled over. 

“Shut up!” Joel screamed, defensive. “I did no such thing!”

Tommy’s laugh was dry, sardonic. “You’re playing house with her, but you forget you kidnapped her! She’s not your wife, she’s a victim of your rape and abuse!”

“Shut! Up!” 

“Jesus CHRIST, Joel, she’s younger than Sarah would’ve been!”

“Don’t you fucking talk about her” Joel’s deadly calm was back. “You don’t fucking do that”

Tommy wouldn’t stop. “If Sarah were alive, she’d be disgusted with you, she’d never fucking talk to you-” 

The gun blast made you scream and cover your face, you aguely here Lorenzo, Jack, and a few others shout something.... you couldn’t look, knowing you’d see Tommy dead. All the times he had tried to help you, tried to ease things, and you had gotten him killed for taking your virginity. You sat back against the wall crying… you had gotten Tommy killed, Tommy died because of you… your fault, your fault, your fault... Suddenly, you are being dragged to stand up. “Get up!” Joel bellows, his strong arms dragging you to Tommy’s dead body and all you can do is scream hysterics. “Stand! Up!”

When you finally do stand, you open your eyes only to find Tommy still alive and kneeling before you, a gunshot in the wall above him. 

Joel pulls motions for another gun from Diego, and puts it in your hands, holding it still as he pulls his own gun back on your forehead. “Liste up, little one” His voice is soft, a feather light breath against your cheek as he leans close. He aims the gun at Tommy, the barrel between his eyes. “Tommy’s been running around behind my back with that cunt in Jackson, fucking her and telling her god knows what about me and my business”

“Joel, I swear, I never told her anything!” Tommy pleads.

You blink, and you can’t feel a little… betrayed… He was sleeping with someone?

Joel noticed.

“Awwww, did Tommy make you feel special?" He mocked you. "Tommy make you feel like you were the only one he was fucking, the only one he treated all nice. Guess what, little one, you're not special t him. I get he's got loads of other whores he fucked, you're just the little kept girl when he wants some naive pussy" Joel kisses your neck "But... You are special to me, you are the only one I’m fucking, you are the only women in my life, and yet… you still fuck around with Tommy." He sounds almost... hurt... "But I’m gracious, I’ve forgiving.” He forced you too look directly at him, and his eyes… they were soft again, the softness you couldn’t help fall for. “I love you, he doesn’t. Now.” Joel straightened up and stepped back, but the gun never left your head. “I’m gonna count down from ten, and if you shoot him, you proved yourself to me, and we can go on being happy, being together.” He kisses your cheek, smelling your hair as he pulled away. “If you don’t… and I reach 0, I blow your fucking brains out, okay?”

You begin crying.

“Joel, don’t do this to her”

“10… 9…”

“I can’t! Joel I’m sorry, Joel, I love you, I can’t kill him!”

“8… 7…”

“Honey look at me” Tommy’s desperate voice calls you, and you turn to him, his beautiful brown eyes looking up at your where he is kneeling, his dark, long hair tousled. He schooled his expressions, peace on his face for your sake. “It’s okay. Do it.”

“6… 5…”

“Tommy no, I can’t hurt you.” There's gotta be another way…

“It’s okay” He nods. “I’m ready. Right through the head, it’ll be quick.”

“4… 3..”

“I can’t” You sob.

“Yes, yes you can, it’s okay. Just do it, stay alive, and Joel will keep you safe.”

Tommy, sweet, kind Tommy… He would not die at your hands, and you would not die at Joels

“No.” You drop your gun to your side and turn to Joel; you can see the confusion in his eyes. “No, you won’t do it.”

“2… yes I will”

“Honey, it’s okay, I promise you-” But you weren’t listening to Tommy.

“No, you won’t hurt me. You love me too much”

“I will, 1”

You don’t blink. You keep your eyes locked on Joels, his deep brown eyes swimming with confliction and hurt… betrayal from both you and Tommy. 

But he doesn’t shoot you. Ever so slowly, you take the gun in your hand and put it back in his. You could’ve used it to shoot him… but it would’ve been useless and probably ended with a bullet in your head for real this time. Instead, Joel looks at you with nothing short of aw as he lowers his gun. You trusted him. You refuse a rescue, you knew he wouldn’t shoot you, and you give up your weapon to him… He owned you, completely.

“You won’t kill me. And you wont kill Tommy either, because you love both of us. You are going to let Tommy go, run off to Jackson, and Tommy is never going to divulge any of your secrets.” You turn to Tommy, who has sat back on his hunches, looking at you with confusion. “Because if he does, you’ll know who betrayed him” You tell Tommy with your eyes not to fuck this up. Then, back to Joel. “And then you and I can live here happily ever after, without anyone interfering.”

Joel stirred at you for a long while, considering his options… but he knew, deep down, he couldn’t kill either of you. He was furious at Tommy for his betrayal, for fucking that bitch Maria, for lying to him, for taking your virginity when that was suppossed to be his… but Tommy was his little brother. Long before Sarah died in his arms, long before this virus, long before the empire that he built that began as just trying to keep Tommy alive… it was him and Tommy, their whole lives. He was his brother, Joel had saved his skin again and again and Tommy had Joel’s back when Joel’s wife left him, and helped raise Sarah… Sarah… Tommy’s words stuck in his head, what would Sarah think of him? He wasn’t a rapist, despite what Tommy said, he wasn’t that kind of man… but he could be softer, he could’ve been better to the girl he kept locked up… Sarah, if she was watching somewhere, could never forgive him if Joel killed her uncle she adored so much…

“Lorenzo” Joel called, and the short hair man stepped up. “Get him the fuck outta here, dump him once he’s off my fucking property. And if anyone sees him here again, or if anyone sees her-” Joel points to you “Outside without anyone, shoot them.”

Lorenzo nodded, and began pulling Tommy away. Tommy gave one desperate look back at you, and was out the door before you could blink. 

You don’t have a second to process that your best friend just left you before Joel is pulling you into the bedroom, pushing you against the wall and shoving your pants down. He thrusts into you with no preparation and you stifle a whimper on your hand, but Joel pulls it down.

“Wanna here you cry, little one. That pain? The pain is mine. Your cries are mine, your cunt is mine. And if you bleed?” Just then, his face is right next to yours, his beard wiping the tears that rolled down your cheeks. “Your blood is mine. Got it?”

“Yes sir” You moaned out the way he likes to hear. You were growing wet embarrassingly fast, his cock hitting that lovely, lovely spot you loved so much and suddenly, you had forgotten about how he had almost killed you, the slap of skin and his arm groping your breasts, fingers playing with your nipples as he fucked into you drawing you closer. Joel came inside you, something he had only done after Nick, it was as if he was laying his claim, possessing you as his hot cum and some of your blood trickle down your leg. Joel had a new surprise for you.

He lifted you over his shoulder and tossed you onto the bed and you watched him crawl up to you, his eyes hungry and you had no idea what was possibly coming… when Joel began to lick your cunt, you were shocked, hips bucking up but Joel was quick to pin you down; he laid down in front of you on his stomach with his arms wrapped around your legs and christ, it was like he was trying to devour you. You felt his tongue reaching up inside you, his fingers playing with your clit the way only he knew how and the sensation was so new, so unreal, you weren’t sure how to take it. 

But you did. you took every single bit he gave you as he cleaned you up of his own spent, his tongue licking and sucking and slurping you up eagerly, plush lips devouring you whole as if he could eat you alive, keeping you with him forever and becoming a part of him like an unholy communion. His tongue laved out as he brought his mouth up and over your clit, making you shutter...

And when his mouth sloppily latched onto your clit and two thick fingers were fucking into you? You came in under a minute after that. 

“Fuuuuuuuck!”  You cry out as if all of today's events never happened. “Joel!” You scream out as you cum, not caring that Lorenzo might hear you, that he probably thinks you're pathetic for getting such pleasure from the man whose gun had kissed your forehead the way his lips kissed your cheek now as you reveled in the afterglow of your orgasm. You expected Joel to threaten you about what happened with Tommy, to wrap his fingers around your throat or grip your face harshly… but he just kissed you as he pulled you close, covering the two of you up. Still, you new he was references sleeping with Tommy, when his last words before bed were-

“Please don’t do that to me again.”

You cupped his face and assured him you’d never leave, that you are his.

You are his.

*******************

bye bye tommy : (

out of curiousity, i have a lil pole

Thank you to everyone who comments, likes and especially reblogs!

A note for reading dark fics. I know we all preach and askf or reblogs which is v v v true, they are the only way to spread our work, but i understand given the content of a dark fic, maybe you dont wanna have that on your blog. If thats the case, if my work or the other amazing authors inspire you to, please consider leaving a comment, or even an anon ask tell the writer why you liked it! It helps us know what people like, and encourages writing.

You are all so wonderful and supoortive though, thank you!!!

if you'd like to be added or removed from the tag list LMK

and i think my next fic here will be a dark!nathan bateman so if you'd like to be tagged in that, comment below!

Thank you all to my wonderful readers, i appriciate all of you

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @tidlewav3 @bunnnyy-dummy @slutfortimotheechalamet @foggymoonbanana @dinsbaby @miraclesabound @jenna-ortega @primosworld @marclovers @threeheadedlamb @secretwriterpp @the-fox-den

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[champmorado]

chick hicks & jackson storm character analysis!!!!

so chick hicks has major daddy issues, plain and simple. because of his dad, he tied his self-worth to being a "winner". because of his dad, he made himself not care about anyone else but himself. because of his dad, everyone else was either a "loser" or someone standing in the way of victory

chick is arrogant, overly so. because of this, hes lonely. hes unbelievably lonely. do you think his crew chose to wear those matching mustaches? who would willingly hang out with the dirty, cheating, crash-causing, second-placing chick?

he surrounds himself with mirrors. with people that tell him what he wants to hear, and laugh at his stupid jokes, and just so happen to be on his payroll. but if you strip away all the sponsor money, the insults and jabs, the angry & arrogant exterior, youre left with a sad and disappointing middle-aged man that was never truly a "winner". a man that no one wants to love or even be associated with

(but hes in extreme denial about that)

now, jackson storm

i dont have access to a copy of storm chasing (damn ittttt) so i'll just be going off the wiki and the movie

jackson storm didnt even want to be a racer. he was completely fine with being an e-sports player. but he was extorted by a guy that ended up firing him anyways so here we are

because of that, jackson has the world's weirdest form of imposter syndrome. he doesnt belong here. hes the best racer there is. he shouldve been racing since he was a child. he hates being a racer. he wouldnt trade it for the world. he wishes he could be just a gamer again. etc etc

he never really compliments himself, though. he needs to tear someone else down to lift himself up. he needs someone thats "worse" than him before he can boast about how great he is. deep down, he doesnt like being a racer, and he feels that the racing world doesnt deserve him

he also never lets himself feel. hes always distant and his emotions are always disconnected from the present. this started out as a way to avoid having angry outbursts but now he feels shallow. his losses arent painful but his wins arent rewarding. meeting a fan feels the same as meeting a hater. everything just feels.... insincere

so yea 👍 thats my brainrot on them as individuals, the father-son dynamic brainrot will come soon

[revelisms]

Some (mostly angsty, somewhat wholesome?) Ghost headcanons that have been sitting on the back-burner of my writing recently.

AKA—I'm thinking about these four too much. Please send aid.

CWs: Dysfunctional family dynamics/power imbalance, sibling rivalry, weed, anger issues, parentification, smoking, self-worth issues, implied self-destructive behavior, light NSFW/sexual themes, misuse of magic(?), emotional manipulation(?), withheld birth information(??). Also silliness!

(...They're complicated, okay?)

Primo

Nihil's first child, born from a mother he never met. Sister entered the picture soon after, but was largely standoffish to him at first.

His early years were spent in the back of touring vans or nosing through books on horticulture and spells. He's the most magically-adept of the brothers, having a natural inclination for the craft, which has earned him (somewhat fittingly) a wizard-ish reputation. Since his retirement, he is quite literally the Ministry's ornamental hermit, in more ways than one; if he's not tending to the grounds, he's mulling away on herbal concoctions.

He's a kind man, but can be unsettlingly intimidating. There's an edge to his character that makes one question if a joke about bloodying a rival isn't much of a joke, at all. (The Ministry staff have gossip galore, which most take with a grain of salt...but, like. He definitely killed someone at some point. Maybe.)

As he grew up in the church, he gradually appealed to Sister's favor, becoming the "star child" of the family and leading by example: not only for getting the so-called "Unholy Cause" on its feet, but earning the initial stamp of approval for Nihil's Ghost project.

Secondo and Terzo have grown up in the shadow of this success, frequently being compared to him, and both have varying levels of resentment for it. Primo has always been aware of this; despite playing along with the demands placed on him, he has frequently tried to be more of a source of reassurance for the other brothers, and at times takes on an almost maternal role with them.

Dubbed "the mountain goat" by Secondo, and "the bat-eared one" by one of Terzo's many nicknames. Copia is somewhat skittish around him; from his side, it's strictly "brother" or bust.

He likes cats, springtime, and a nice joint now and then (the touring days left a definite mark). He also grows his own weed that an exclusive few are given access too—absolutely least of all, Terzo, due to an unnamed Incident in the past.

(The fool locked him into the greenhouse for hours once, as a prank. Primo had to occupy himself, somehow...needless to say, it led to the worst crossfade of his life.)

Secondo

Nihil and Sister's first child together, and Nihil's second son. He's the tallest of the brothers, and built like a deadweight champion, which leaves him (often humorously) looming over any eyes in sight.

Major middle child syndrome, and notorious anger management issues. He grew up dead-center in Nihil and Sister's rocky-at-best relationship days, often taking the brunt of their arguing when Primo was out for shows and Terzo was still young. He and Sister can't keep the peace to save their lives, and him and Nihil aren't much better off—but he did his best with the hand he was dealt, and largely won over Nihil's respect by carrying on the prestige of the Cause and generating wider global support for the tours.

This upbringing gave him a fairly wide threshold of annoyances he'll endure, particularly due to the insufferable antics he put up with from a wildly rebellious teenage Terzo (which has, to his utter chagrin, never changed; he can't stand the imbecile). But like anything, he has his limits. Eventually, his frustrations will hit a volcanic peak—once he's turned that corner, run.

Very close to Primo, often almost acting twin-like with him. They both dealt with a similar level of expectation, and both succeeded well in their roles. There's a bit of an older brothers vs. younger brothers separation they've fostered, by nature of this, and the two have found a mutual understanding that the others are more-or-less (and often begrudgingly) their responsibility. The self-appointed "Father" to Primo's "Mother."

Despite his bullish exterior, he's actually the most traditionally romantic of the brothers—sunset drives, candles, flowers, old cinematic jazz, the whole shebang. This tends to get overlooked for Terzo's Casanovian reputation, but there's a handful of those in the church who've had the privilege to see his softer side.

Was a fairly poor student; he dicked around his classes even more-so than Terzo, which is saying something. As a jab to get back at him for this, Nihil frequently assigned him lecture duty for the new siblings—something he unexpectedly found himself enjoying. He's since become a headmaster of sorts in the realm of the Ministry's academics, particularly around the history of the faith and, as a bit of an odd niche, the importance and use of magic objects across various practices in the church.

Despite being a strong performer, he's a brick wall during mass, which all the brothers hold over him like a plague. (He detests the church pulpit, and tends to deliver his sermons like the drier of his lectures; true "preaching" was never his strong suit). During his papal reign, he collected his bounty of masstime regulars, nonetheless, who seemed intent on showing up just to make him blush.

He's actually a very sheepish fellow, and it doesn't take much to have him in a panic (which many find adorable...but wouldn't dare say to his face). Absolutely the most easily flustered of the brothers, and will let you know it, loudly.

Is very particular about his silk ties: he has them all shipped in from one designer on the coast who specializes in the patterns he favors. Also has a collection of worry stones from all the beaches they've visited on tour, and smokes, to some detriment, like a chimney.

He's always been a lover of the sea: some future years in retirement could easily find him putting away as a charter captain for those who want to tour the chapels on the outer islands.

Terzo

Nihil and Sister's second child together, and Nihil's third son. Largely seen as the baby of the family, despite Copia being the youngest, and the shortest of the litter. As one would expect, also tends to claim the loudest personality; it's nigh-impossible to ignore him in a room.

Has a strained relationship with both Nihil and Sister, to a similar but different degree from Secondo. Nihil views him as his last "true" son and final heir to the Bloodline, which has put significant pressure on him to prove himself worthy of the mantle Primo and Secondo have left behind. He's also the most similar to Nihil out of the brothers, particularly in the traits their All-Father detests about himself (aka: KTGG-era recklessness, vanity, etc.), which has earned him some nasty moments on the back-end of Nihil's own narcissism and self-loathing.

Sister is fairly critical and unaffectionate towards him, as she feels he's squandered away much of his potential, and views him as largely uncommitted to the traditions of the church (which, fairly, he is—he's always been vocal on his call for modernization/reform) and his role (which he despises on a bureaucratic level, but genuinely enjoys as an opportunity to mentor the flock—i.e., get praise/attention). He's toed the line of her approval, for years: denying it as much as he craves it. A lot of his (egregious) issues with communication and vulnerability are, to no surprise, rooted from that.

Has been infamously, thanks to Nihil's vocal intervention, involved with ghouls—Omega, in particular—which is a big no-no for a host of legitimate magic-related concerns (and some wholly unwarranted superstitions from the church). Omega was perhaps his first "real" connection, so this is a deeply bitter wound for him. In general, any attempts at long-terms relationships have fallen through (out of his own self-sabotage, or disapproval from the family), so he has largely given up on them, even though he aches for that stability and companionship.

For that reason, despite being the most (in every sense) "open" of the brothers, he is, somewhat paradoxically, also the most guarded. Within the family, his emotions are known to be highly erratic, with a quick-draw inclination for angry meltdowns that rival Secondo's own. He's fairly quiet and anxious underneath the suave exterior.

Has tastes in music, film and literature most would find perplexing at face value (i.e., girlypop meets philosophy-of-death dronings meets eroticism even his idols would blush at). While he's not the sharpest tool in the box, get a few drinks in him and he'll give you a flawless dissertation on the history of European kink and fetish culture. (He's 100% the kinkiest of the group, and the most overtly experimental—both with his own identity and sexual partners.)

Hates winter. Absolutely hates it with his guts. (He slips too much.) Also occasionally smokes; he picked up a liking for the cigarettes Sister would import when he was younger.

The most musically-inclined of the brothers, and a natural charmer at the piano, though he plays it less often now than he did in his earlier/pre-Cardinal days.

Copia

Sister's son, more than likely born from a different father—though, for reasons none of the brothers have been made aware of, he's never been told of either, and any attempts to dig further into that has been dissuaded.

(The abridged version: he's a product of some deeply archaic ritual magic that Sister engaged in, without Nihil's awareness or permission, to extend the Bloodline to its "true" end. He is, by design, meant to be the Antichrist-incarnate, and any accidental explorations he's taken into spellcasting has only kept this hidden by a thread; his magic is extremely powerful—and deadly. He has a bone-deep suspicion that he is part of some predestined Thing, in that vein, and is very disturbed by it; it's information he doesn't feel like he can share with anyone.)

He was adopted into the family from a young age, and faced quite a bit of difficulty transitioning in. Although he immediately created a spike of jealousy in Terzo, it was actually him who took Copia under his wing the most, and the two remain relatively close, despite ongoing tensions between them (particularly due to Sister, who is openly and frequently affectionate towards Copia, and behaves the most "motherly" with him).

Has a lot of bottled frustrations with not understanding who or what he is, or the purpose he feels he is meant to deliver on—both from Sister's vagueness around his origins and Nihil's complete dismissal of him being part of the Bloodline. He's spent much of his adult life working to prove that he is good enough to belong to both: hence, his frequently high performance reviews in the church.

Has a very wry sense of humor once one cracks through his awkwardness, and a giant heart. He does, however, have the capacity to let an ugly streak sail out now and then (and has)—particularly when he feels he is being lied to, or having his agency pulled away from him.

The most cinematically-engaged of the brothers, particularly for classic films. One of his prime night routines is holing up with a plate of comfort food and throwing on a dismal black-and-white romantic drama that'll make him cry. (He's incredibly lonely. Terzo gets that, more than he realizes.)

Surprisingly, has a innate fashionability, but often doesn't have the chance to really flaunt this (until his papal ascension, at least). He loves vintage suits and blazers, and has a collection of antique cufflinks.

Has named every single rat and mouse in the Ministry, and explicitly banned pest control. Also drinks the most grotesquely sweet cocktail-adjacent mixtures one can make; Secondo calls his version of tinto de verano "bird nectar."