#make an out of the blue extremely complicated prediction

[gayofthefae]

Saw somebody say that they weren’t getting their hopes up for much Buddie next ep because Buck would probably depend on Bobby with his trauma stuff (at least until they address the Buddie thing together later)...

but guys...

Bobby is gonna be preoccupied with the whole rehab center plotline

~ oh no! Who could Buck possibly go too?! ~ ;)

Not getting my hopes up too much...but a little. I mean, maybe we’ve gotten too used to waiting and now are glossing over the idea that they could talk immediately after because despite the parallels this isn’t just like last time because it’s the second time/role reversal. Just sayin...maybee...

[coffeebeanwriting]

What Bores a Reader The Most?

I asked my followers to answer the question “what bores you the most when reading a book?” 

Please keep in mind that these are all opinions and you’ll find yourself agreeing and disagreeing with some. Personally, I think this is amazing insight into the minds of unique readers all around the globe! I decided to keep reoccurring answers instead of merging them, just so people could see the repeating themes.

“Predictable conflicts or character actions. I want to be surprised.”

“When there’s no clear plot. When it looks like the book is leading nowhere.”

“Endless description. Nothing makes me more prone to skipping ahead.”

“When it feels like what you’re reading lacks purpose and there is no meaningful contribution to the plot.”

“Characters with less personality than a wet paper towel. Main characters with zero personality.”

“When I can’t picture anything in my head or what I understood changes randomly.”

“When a conversation is happening and I can’t follow which character is saying what.”

“Daily routines in a story. Like, I do not care.”

“When the world doesn’t move if the main character doesn’t interact with it. This applies to t.v shows, too.”

“Something that does not have a build up like a sudden relationship out of the blue.”

“When I’m so confused it doesn’t make sense anymore.”

“When there’s a 3 page description of some random object.”

“Wayyyy too much detail.”

“When the big plot twist is revealed and I guessed it ages ago.”

“Too slow or too long.”

“When the author unnecessarily drags the story and takes ages to advance to the climax.”

“Fan service that doesn’t contribute to the plot.”

“Useless descriptions and/or actions.”

“Over description of a landscape (cough old literature cough).”

“No action, no violence. I don’t like when characters talk for too long.”

“Long descriptions.”

“Too much descriptions when you are in a exciting moment. It breaks immersion.”

“Lack of imagery.”

“Constant usage of archaic vocabulary.”

“When the main character is extremely passive and doesn’t act or react.”

“Excessive description that doesn’t further the plot or meaningfully add to characterization.”

“Overly predictable plot, overly crude language for the sake of it, cringe/pompous scenes.”

“Long and boring exposition dumps.”

“Characters that never loose 😴.”

“When the world building starts out great and is really immersive until later on when things don’t add up.”

“When a character has too much internal dialogue.”

“Explaining “the science” behind magic systems in unnecessary detail.”

“Over description. I will skim and skip a lot of it.”

“Too much background info at the beginning.”

“When there’s small talk about a topic I don’t understand. It get’s sooo boring.”

“Too much inner monologue.”

“Slow plot.”

“When it’s just dragging on and on with the backstory.”

“Having to reread a sentence/paragraph a billion times because my brain got distracted.”

“When there’s no action, suspense or something similar for the whole chapter.”

“Things that aren’t relevant to the story.”

“Too much dialogue.”

“A lil too much fantasies.”

“Over drawn setting descriptions.”

“Overly long chapters, repetitive scenes, lots of complicated worldbuilding.”

“When it’s too simple or too detailed.”

“Long, long expositions.”

“Repeating phrases, plots ,etc.”

“Infodumps, especially in the beginning.”

“Too much history.”

“Overly descriptive settings.”

“Slow plot. I need drama!”

“Long chapters.”

“Slow pacing.”

“No major plot twist.”

“Miscommunication trope.”

“Massively long descriptive paragraphs.”

“Too much exposition in the beginning.”

“Long and confusing story building.”

“Repeating plot points. For example: the hero learning to trust his friends a million times without any real progression.”

“Training scenes that show nothing special. Especially sword fighting or head to hand combat.”

“Generic plot developments unless it’s written well.”

“Overuse of complicated words and sentences.”

“Long paragraphs.”

“I’m so over the bubble sunshine and extra grumpy trope.”

“When a character is overthinking.”

“Romanic subplots bore me. Having too many love interests.”

“When it switches between characters/subplots and one of them is awfully boring.”

“When too much information on a character is given one at a time.”

“Clichés.”

“When it takes a long time before the story gets interesting.”

“Long, long, long descriptions particularly of places that aren’t all that important.”

“Descriptions of unnecessary things.”

“Too much side character’s story. They’re a side for a reason.”

“I love beautiful writing so there must be some lovely descriptions... but don’t drone on.”

“Flat characters.”

“Scenes in which my favorite characters do not appear.”

“When the characters have no clear goal or the goal is too weak.”

“If most or all of the characters are unlikable. Then I don’t care what happens to them in the story. Being an evil/mean character is different from being unlikable.”

“When the plot does not move forward.”

“Writing unnecessary, irrelevant things that don’t have an effect on the story.”

“No real plot. The protagonist has no fire to them.”

“When the protagonist needs to figure out a love triangle and which person they like the most.”

“When the interesting parts happen right at the end.”

“When there’s too much info dumping with no easy transitions.”

“No progression after chapters and chapters. Characters not having development.”

“Too much description and a slow start to the story.”

“When characters are too oblivious to something.”

“Oblivious main characters, lazy plots, stereotypical encounters, main character is a god trope.”

“Unnecessarily long amounts of monologue or dialogue.”

“The second chance trope bores me.”

“Slow beginnings... like, get to the action in 3 chapters of less please.”

“Chapters being too long with small writing.”

“If the characters go through the same conflict over and over again.”

“Classic books... I don’t understand a thing, haha.”

“Being bombarded with unnecessary detail.”

“Bad boy meets good girl trope bores me.”

“Too much landscape descriptions like Tolkien or Stephen King.”

“Bad dialogue, too much excessive background details and too many character tags.”

“When the book moves too slowly.”

“Over described scenes or characters.”

“Descriptions without inputs of what a characters is thinking about. I need a lens of character POV to make descriptions interesting to read.”

“A badly written romance subplot where the characters involved don’t have any chemistry whatsoever.”

“I get a bit lost when there’s too much details about an environment.”

“When the story doesn’t go anywhere for a really long time.”

Instagram: coffeebeanwriting  

[zarla-s]

Man it's been a long time since I've done an ask cluster! Let's see if I can get some down...

He's an extremely fun character to write for and play with! So in that sense I'm fond of him, haha. He's such a huge disaster of a person, there's always something fun to do with him. Well "fun" in a relative sense.

I don't have anything to forgive him for, he didn't hurt me. |D He hurt the brothers!

I do have an idea for a cute feature inspired by Six-Eared Macaque! I should really sit down and do that already... and finish the one I half started but never finished...

I don't think my opinion on any of them changed! I love them all, haha. Which ones I drew comics about just depends on which ones I get ideas for really. Sometimes I get Alphys ideas and sometimes I get Goatparents ideas! Inspiration is fickle!

I don't have any solid plans or anything. :B Just gonna keep chugging along with silly comics and art! Work on Defrag and such. I'd like to finish a Ladyverse comic I've had lying around forever, and I had vague plans for doing a doujin for them too I could work on... and also seeing if I could format Handplates into a book format... I've always got a bunch of projects, haha.

It works on that level! It wasn't intentional though. |D

I do enjoy speculation! I don't really have much of my own though, I didn't predict anything in chapter 2 so now I'm assuming I can't predict anything in the future chapters either, haha.

Emesis Blue is great! Some really beautiful visuals in there, very striking! Love the mood of it too and a lot of the surreal imagery. I think it helped spur me back into TF2 again, haha. Medic and Scout's relationship was so cute.

I have thought about this! It has its share of challenges though... I outlined them more in this post. A pdf would be more doable though... could even include some extra stuff as well! Hmm...

I can see that! He'd probably spend as much time out in the rain as he could just doing whatever to stay outside.

It was pretty much always going to end like that. I always wanted it to end on a hopeful note! Which might seem weird with how dark it is at the beginning. I DID for a brief period at the very beginning of Handplates think about stopping with the Pacifist run, but that was only because I thought going where I wanted to go would take too long and already the project seemed so dauntingly huge at the time, haha. But it was always going to end in a positive way!

Gaster talks about what he originally intended to create here, and he explains a bit about the physical experiments he runs on the brothers here. They aren't really a solution in and of themselves so much as tools to try and find a way to break the barrier. Really though, Gaster got stuck in the sunk-cost fallacy lol.

I don't really have opinions about what canon Gaster would be like. |D Handplates Gaster is his own thing really. Canon Gaster, who knows! Deltarune Gaster, who knows! I will say I hope Gaster stays a mystery in Deltarune and never actually shows up but I think the odds of that are really low at this point.

I thought about doing a script along those lines! I did a few rough drafts of one, but it never really went anywhere... it'd end up dead-ending or kind of meandering off. I might see if I can get an actual script down for a side-comic or something in the future... it might be better suited for a fic.

I was just thinking about this lately! I was picturing Gaster totally forgetting about that until he sees Papyrus squinting and is like OH GOD YOUR EYES THAT'S RIGHT D: and goes to get him looked at lol.

I couldn't come up with a good idea for Flowey which is a shame, I do like him, haha. If one comes to me though I might make a little side comic about it!

Gaster's LV is complicated... his stats in-game are ludicrous if I recall correctly. Did he carry the damage from his murders into the void, even if those murders weren't his in the new timeline? Deep thoughts.

He fed them anything he could find, haha. Which is why sometimes they just ended up with chocolate bars (which he intended as dinner for himself). He probably fed them more often than he fed himself lol. He did feed them fairly regularly though.

Not about skeletons, probably. |D

Man I know I had an explanation for this but it was so long ago... it's hard for me to remember. It could be that the Riverperson is just weird and has weird insight into elements of things, had a prophetic dream... I don't know! It bugs me now that I can't remember this, haha.

[stari-hun]

More No Storm but Vertin has a Time Traveling Arcanum Content

Inaccurately Named Modern AU

* Apeiron + Vilasong

I think with like knowledge and math becoming more accessible sooo many people in Apeiron would go to the outside world to share their knowledge because 77 (37s mom) showed that even the people most faithful to their school of thought are interested in calculation machines. Give them Mathway.com and people would lose their minds.

6 would be a professional gamer. In fact he’d take so well to modern society that he’d be one of those people thriving in the 2020 lockdown and being away from Apeiron. Afterwards he’d also recover fast and put daily walks into his schedule or something cause he knows how badly his physical would’ve gotten. 6 would have an Instagram that’s the weirdest thing ever. People use it as inspiration for arg characters because he unintentionally posts with the vibe of someone extremely inhuman, and even though with the internet most humans would be aware of nonhuman arcanist they’d still be like what… There’s several video essays breaking down theories on who or what he might be. On the other side his posts are all pictures of objects he sees on daily walks that he sees have interesting dimensions to them or placement in a scene. The issue is that he doesn’t give any preamble or context to his math like 210 who wants to share math with the world would, or 37 who genuinely wants to teach, he just drops it in the caption and closes the app. He’d also have a YouTube explaining how he wins matches with others and insane speedrun content and how he beats games in under three minutes in extremely stupid calculations and exploits. His uploads are once in a blue moon but he’s a really popular faceless YouTuber (unlike 37 he reads comments and thinks about the questions he gets a lot, and even answers them in other videos). Also his like daily wanderings until he wants to go back home and risk interaction with others.

37 would get ahold of the internet like fish to water. She’d be an early YouTuber on 6’s recommendation and get super popular without realizing it. Her upload schedule is a “think of something start recording it and post with little to no editing” kinda style that for her ends up being 6-12 videos per week. 37 probably wouldn’t even realize there’s a comment section but Sophia knows it. Sometimes she’ll relay the comments to her from fans if they’re questions or constructive, but she mostly keeps them for herself because she’s happy 37 is branching out even if she isn’t entirely meaning too. I think 37’s content is a personality type. She’s giving constructive lessons that are informative but her personality and voice made her gain an audience mostly there to listen to her as background noise while she does homework. She does have a very loyal core audience of economists and radiologists since the topic she circles back around to the most is patterns in the weather and how they can be applied to daily life. Her most viewed video would be a super complicated explanation on how to predict when the next storm will happen in your area, and the top comment is a link to a website where someone made it into a calculator (it works with like a 5% chance of error). Also fun fact Vertin tried to use it once and the website was down for a week after she tried it. Sophia would have more kids centered content. Her follower base would mostly be parents who sit their kids in front of an iPad during work, but heavily monitoring their internet use and want them to watch content that’s good for them. She’d be faceless but unintentionally blow up super hard for story reading content, and her process for making up original stories. Afterwards she’d take a huge social media break entirely, only helping 37 with hers before slowly going back to her usual audiobook content with locked comments.

On that note, it’s slightlyyyy canon based, but I also think 210 would become good friends with Sweetheart after the island opened up and he reached out to her through Pandora to be their liaison. They’d do a ton of promotions and fashion statements. 210 already has an established interest in beauty, arts, and how they tie to math, and Sweetheart as a person who’s mathematically perfect would be his best excuse to study arts. Then Sweetheart would enjoy the company of any asexual, especially if they’re good for her image, and 210 is genuinely there to vibe and enjoy the beauty of the world. I also feel like he’d have one of those instagrams where he’s super popular for his looks but vast majority of his posts are sky pics and pictures of flora he sees.

I think in the story Sweetheart and Pandora are already on pretty good terms but I think in a Modern!Twist AU Pandora would be even more active in her writing. I think she’d have a small but famous journalism company where she employs only those she deems have a fresh perspective in a way she can’t supply. I talk about it in my other post, but Marcus interns there after getting an associates degree journalism during her dual enrollment and finishing Highschool. 210 and her run top series in UTTU for numbers and art analysis in a way people hadn’t thought of before, and Marcus runs a deep dive on historical spaces and the hidden stories within them.

UTTU would sometimes have interview segments where guest slots of an employee’s choosing (approved of by Pandora) will get a special feature. Windsong is the most reoccurring interviewee alongside Vila for research papers in ley lines and ecosystem observations respectively. Both are very popular features every time due to how they provide perspective on Marcus’ and 210’s segments.

[git-commit-die]

ChatGPT, LLMs, Plagiarism, & You

This is the first in a series of posts about ChatGPT, LLMs, and plagiarism that I will be making. This is a side blog, so please ask questions in reblogs and my ask box.

Why do I know what I'm talking about?

I am a machine engineer who specializes natural language processing (NLP). I write code that uses LLMs every day at work and am intimately familiar with OpenAI. I have read dozens of scientific papers on the subject and understand how they work in extreme detail. I have 6 years of experience in the industry, plus a graduate degree in the subject. I got into NLP because I knew it was going to pop off, and now here we are.

Yeah, but why should I trust you?

I've been a Tumblr user for 8 years. I've posted my own art and fanart on the site. I've published writing, both original and fanfiction, on Tumblr and AO3. I've been a Reddit user for over a decade. I'm a citizen of the internet as much as I am an engineer.

What is an LLM?

LLM stands for Large Language Model. The most famous example of an LLM is ChatGPT, which was created by OpenAI.

What is a model?

A model is an algorithm or piece of math that lets you predict or make mimic how something behaves. For example:

The National Weather Service runs weather models that predict how much it's going to rain based on data they collect about the atmosphere

Netflix has recommendations models that predicts whether you'd like a movie or not based on your demographics, what you've watched in the past, and what other people have liked

The Federal Reserve has economic models that predict how inflation will change if they increase or lower interest rates

Instagram has spam models that look at DMs and automatically decide whether they're spam or not

Models are useful because they can often make decisions or describe situations better than a human could. The weather and economic models are good examples of this. The science of rain is so complicated that it's practically impossible for a human to make sense of all the numbers involved, but models are able to do so.

Models are also useful because they can make thousands or millions of decisions much faster than a human could. The recommendations and spam models are good examples of this. Imagine how expensive it would be to run Instagram if a human had to review every single DM and decide whether it was spam.

What is a language model?

A language model is a model that can look at a piece of text and tell you how likely it is. For example, a language model can tell you that the phrase "the sky is blue" is more likely to have been written than "the sky is peanuts."

Why is this useful? You can use language models to generate text by picking letters and words that it gives a high score. Say you have the phrase "I ate a" and you're picking what comes next. You can run through every option, see how likely the language model thinks it is, and pick the best one. For example:

I ate a sandwich: score = .7

I ate a $(iwnJ98: score = .1

I ate a me: score = .2

So we pick "sandwich" and now have the phrase "I ate a sandwich." We can keep doing this process over and over to get more and more text. "I ate a sandwich for lunch today. It was delicious."

What makes a large language model large?

Large language models are large in a few different ways:

Under the hood, they are made of a bunch of numbers called "weights" that describe a monstrously complicated mathematical equation. Large language models have a ton of the weights--as many as tens of billions of them.

Large language models are trained on large amounts of text. This text comes mostly from the internet but also includes books that are out of copyright. This is the source of controversy about them and plagiarism, and I will cover it in greater detail in a future post.

Large language models are a large undertaking: they're expensive and difficult to create and run. This is why you basically only see them coming out of large or well-funded companies like OpenAI, Google, and Facebook. They require an incredible amount of technical expertise and computational resources (computers) to create.

Why are LLMs powerful?

"Generating likely text" is neat and all, but why do we care? Consider this:

An LLM can tell you that:

the text "Hello" is more likely to have been written than "$(iwnJ98"

the text "I ran to the store" is more likely to have been written than "I runned to the store"

the text "the sky is blue" is more likely to have been written than "the sky is green"

Each of them gets us something:

LLMs understand spelling

LLMs understand grammar

LLMs know things about the world

So we now have an infinitely patient robot that we can interact with using natural language and get it to do stuff for us.

Detecting spam: "Is this spam, yes or no? Check out rxpharmcy.ca now for cheap drugs now."

Personal language tutoring: "What is wrong with this sentence? Me gusto gatos."

Copy editing: "I'm not a native English speaker. Can you help me rewrite this email to make sure it sounds professional? 'Hi Akash, I hope...'"

Help learning new subjects: "Why is the sky blue? I'm only in middle school, so please don't make the explanation too complicated."

And countless other things.

[blog-eatos12]

AI Restaurant Management: Boost Revenue and Efficiency

Running a restaurant is a wild ride. One minute you're basking in the glow of happy customers; the next you're juggling a dozen tasks like some sleep-deprived circus performer. Sound familiar? If your day-to-day feels more frantic than fantastic, then it's time to embrace the future: AI restaurant management.

Think of AI—artificial intelligence—as your super-powered sous chef. It can't chop vegetables, but it can do mountains of administrative tasks and crunch data like a financial whiz. Add to the mix some customer behavior prediction, and what you get is a smoother-running, happier staff, and a restaurant raking in cash.

AI Restaurant Management: Beyond the Hype, Real Results

We know technology in the restaurant industry is hot, but AI is a game-changer. It can transform and revolutionize the way you run your business. Here's how AI-enabled restaurant management can change one's operation in five ways:

1. Forecasting Faux Pas—Crystal Ball Cuisine

Ever ordered a mountain of ingredients only to be faced with a slow week out of the blue? AI can analyze prior sales data, meteorological trends, and even local events to forecast future demand. This means you can work out the best inventory levels—to reduce food waste and please your bottom line.

Imagine this: It's game day, and your AI system projects a burger blowout sale. Thereupon, it adjusts your inventory so you've got plenty of juicy patties and fluffy buns to satisfy every fan whose hunger is stoked by the competitors' offense. No more last-minute scrambling; just happy customers and a healthy profit margin.

2. Scheduling Staff? AI Does the Dishes—Virtually

Setting employee work schedules can be the culinary equivalent of a Rubik's cube: complicated, time-consuming, and guaranteed to give one a headache. AI-enabled restaurant management systems identify staffing needs by relating historical data with predicted customer traffic. This means you will be able to forge efficient schedules that ensure the right people are working when you need them most.

Also, happy staff are productive staff. Not having to wrestle with frustrating, clunky scheduling can help keep your team more positive and engaged.

3. From Order Chaos to Kitchen Calm

Dinner rush—this is where it's at in the restaurant biz. It can, however, be one of the biggest headaches. AI kitchen management cleans up your ordering process by sending orders directly to their respective stations, so your chefs can be in the know. This throttles down on errors and creates better communication to keep your kitchen running like a well-oiled machine.

Envision the process of ordering, where waiters effortlessly send those dishes to the kitchen due to the intervention of an AI-powered system. Orders, quite easily and clearly, get all instructions to the chefs so that they need not waste time in decoding messy handwriting but focus on their culinary masterpieces.

4. Unleashing the Power of Personalization

Customers want personalization today. AI-powered restaurant management systems can analyze customer data to develop focused marketing and loyalty campaigns. This allows you the ability to give special deals and recommendations that resonate with each diner.

Imagine A sweet-tooth regular walks in the door. Via AI technology, they're recognized, and a new, extremely decadent dessert is recommended to them, catering to their history of orders and consumption. The patron feels valued, and he is likely to indulge, ensuring increased revenue and a lifelong fan.

5. From Data Dread to Insights for Success

Lots of data are involved in running a restaurant: sales figures, inventory levels, customer demographics, and more. The problem? All this data is overwhelming. AI-enabled restaurant management systems analyze this data and turn it into actionable insights. Clear trends, and identification of areas for improvement—are what will help you make effective data-driven decisions to propel your business forward.

Imagine knowing exactly how your restaurant is doing at any given time in detailed, easily digestible formatting. You see which dishes are most popular, when you hit peak hours for staffing, and adjust marketing strategies based on real customer data.

Ready to Take Your Restaurant from Frantic to Fantastic?

Artificial Intelligence-powered restaurant management is not science fiction; it is the future of this industry. Embracing AI will help you as a restaurateur automate and elevate efficiency, so you can take pleasure in an enjoyable and rewarding experience for staff and customers alike. Don't just sit back and let others take over where you should be.

Invest in AI restaurant management today, and it can turn your frantic restaurant into a fantastic one!

[mark-matos]

🚀🤖 So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish: An AI Takeover! 🤖🚀

📚🔍 Hello, Hal! Do You Read Me? - AI and the Supply Chain 🔍📚

Artificial Intelligence, with its cold, calculating algorithms, is now en route to take over the monotonous roles in the supply chain, effectively chucking us humans out of the equation. Morgan Stanley calls this impending scenario an AI-powered version of The Office without all the humorous chaos. #OfficeSpaceMeetsIrobot

🍫🤖 Charlie and the AI Factory 🤖🍫

Picture this: robotic arms swiftly organizing Hershey's chocolates in neat, perfect rows, ready to be shipped off to chocoholics worldwide. No, it's not the Oompa Loompas! It's our mechanical mates, the bots, preparing to take over last-mile deliveries. And you thought Amazon Prime was fast! #WillyWonkaGoesAI

🚛🤓 The Rise of the Machines: Goodbye Truckers, Hello Sidewalk Robots 🤓🚛

The transportation industry is about to get a makeover, and not the Extreme Makeover kind. Self-driving trucks are hitting the highway, sidewalk robots are skipping down your street, and customer service bots are answering your frantic calls. Sci-fi? More like supply chain reality. It's the Wall-E world we never asked for, but we're getting anyway! #TransformersInTheRealWorld

💡🚀 Make It So, Number One - The Freight Transportation Revolution 🚀💡

Morgan Stanley predicts a Star Trek-style shift in freight transportation, with AI leading the charge. Autonomous trucks, drones, and even blockchain technologies are poised to disrupt the sector. Even Picard would find it hard to keep up! #AIEngage

📦👀 The AI is Watching" - Predictive Power and No More Empty Shelves! 👀📦

Supply chains are as complicated as an episode of Westworld, but AI is swooping in like a superhero to save the day. Through predictive analysis, AI systems could forecast disruption scenarios, ensuring your favorite cereal remains on the supermarket shelf. No more breakfast blues! #CaptainAISavesTheDay

🧩🌍 AI Goes Mainstream with Maersk 🌍🧩

Maersk, the shipping giant, is betting big on AI. Navneet Kapoor, their CTIO, compares AI's transition from "interesting research projects" to mainstream applications to the evolution of the TARDIS from Doctor Who. Expect a timey-wimey shift in shipping logistics! #AIPioneers

⚖️👩‍💻 A Double-edged Sword of Efficiency and Job Loss 👩‍💻⚖️

AI, much like Gollum's precious ring, is a double-edged sword. It brings unparalleled efficiency but threatens to render several jobs obsolete. But don't panic! Like every disruptive technology, it'll create new roles. So, while your job might morph, it won't vanish entirely. Think of it as an AI-induced job evolution! #TheHobbitMeetsAI

🔎🗺️ The Rise of AI "Knowledge Assistants" 🗺️🔎

AI could become your next efficient office assistant, sans the coffee-making abilities. As per Igor Rikalo, AI-powered "knowledge assistants" will help streamline orders and supply, leading to a more productive working environment. Just be careful not to call them Jarvis! #IronManInTheOffice

Overall, this massive transition may seem daunting, but as they say in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, "Don't Panic"! After all, who knows? We might even get a few robotic colleagues who could beat us at office trivia!

[slut-and-falcon]

My predictions for the wicked movie knowing Hollywood if they include elements of the book (which they should!!!):

-queer bait the shit out of Elphaba and Glinda

-they hired a white guy to play Fiyero so I’m betting they may attempt the whole subverting the race power dynamics thing instead of yknow sticking with the very clear allegories in the book. They also won’t let Fiyero wear his cultural clothing, instead sticking with a very boring suit or shirtpants

-make Elphaba very feminine…I swear the god if they don’t give her a too big man’s coat she wears in the book I will fight someone

- more of a tiktok thing that will happen: ‘Blue diamonds on a green field’ romance trend

-either they will focus too much on the Time Clock Dragon or not at all despite it’s importance to the plot

-if Crope and Tibbit are included, they either will not verbally queer but will either wear leather or have colored hankies (cuz the costume department knows what they are doing), or they will be the opposite of yassified

-they won’t show Tibbit (I think it’s him) in hospice dying of what is implied to be HIV/AIDS (which omg is such a large part of the plot and culture of which it was derived from! The whole ‘friends of Dorthy’ + queer women having to step up and care for queer men during HIV/AIDS crisis in the 80s and 90s and still to this day!!! There is so much subtext in that few pages!)

-the genocide of the Quaddlings for their land’s rubies won’t be mentioned or if it is they will ‘holocaust’-ify it and it will be very disrespectful

-they won’t make the Wizard like ale enough. The whole point in the musical is that he is so charming that even Elphaba is tempted. A fatherly actor, Tom Hanks??, should play the Wizard 🫢

-the Animal animation will either be extremely bad (like the Lion King remake), which is most likely, or they won’t use it at all. And tbh I want to see something like that is in Narnia.

-they will market it like they did the Hunger Games (I honestly don’t have much of a problem with this because I found that fascinating when that happened).

-it’s gonna be so straight. And that’s really sad because this book was written by a gay man, and has sooooooo many references to queer culture and most of the characters are canonically queer in some way. And honestly as depressing as the book is, I read it as a cathartic image of what LGBTQIA+ and POC go through. I think that is why I love it so much- I see myself and my pain and my community’s pain represented in a nuanced way.

-the only thing I can rely on happening is the violence against women 🙄 it’s in everything

I just really want a wicked series that is similar to Game of Thrones (with better writing) mixed with Pose and MASH, and be a political/action/horror thriller like Kingdom (K-drama). I know that’s complicated but it all plays out in my head lol.

I’m holding out this much 🤏🏻 hope.

[star-anise]

I read your post about trauma and I'm trying to make sense of my parents treatment of me as well as my own diagnoses. Is anxiety itself trauma? Or a result of trauma? Its the stress response itself not calming down. I think I was and am emotionally neglected. My parents are not sympathetic. I'm adhd anxiety depression my whole life. That post about learning new social situation techniques really resonated. What are the treatments for neglect? Besides plain old cbt and mindfulness and anti anxiety meds

Trigger warning: Child abuse, child neglect, emotional neglect

Anxiety can happen because of a wide variety of reasons, from medical to situational to genetic. It could happen out of the blue to a totally healthy adult. Or it might be a symptom of trauma and a bad childhood. PTSD used to be classified as a kind of anxiety disorder, but we now understand it's a lot more complicated.

I'm very sorry your family aren't sympathetic and don't get what's up with you. I want to make it very clear that it is not your fault that they aren't sympathetic.

It's not your fault for not explaining things clearly enough. It's not your fault for not being a more lovable child. It's not your fault for being emotional or oversensitive. It's not your fault for not communicating your needs in a way they can hear. Their treatment of you is not your fault.

That's important not just because it feels good to be absolved of blame. It's not a meaningless platitude. It's a nicer coating on what can sometimes be a very bleak truth. That truth is:

There is nothing you can do to make your family be sympathetic to you.

I am so, so, so sorry. You can spend your entire life turning backflips, you can learn interpretive dance, you can become the world's leading expert in your field, you can get hit by a car and find out you have cancer, you can be as sympathetic and understanding about their reasons for neglecting you as they could possibly want, you could do everything in your power to be a good child, and none of that will ever give you the power to make your parents be sympathetic to you and what you've been through.

Sometimes parents do learn and grow and change and work to repair the damage done while their kids were children. But that's because of their own issues and experiences and reasons, not because of anything their children have done. Many parents keep being oblivious and neglectful even when their children have become everything a parent could ever hope for.

Actually, an amazing number of my adult neurodivergent friends have had the absolutely excruciating experience of hearing their parents say, in essence, "Hey adult child! The other day someone I respect way more than you told me about [your condition], and I was astonished! They told me that thing you've been telling me for years, and it blew my mind. I now realize that this is a real part of your life! Wow, it sure would have made a difference if I'd done that thing you've been begging me to do for years now, huh? Hey, have you heard about this handy behavioural technique you've been doing every goddamn day of your adult life? It sounds like it would really help!"

Like, even if your parents ever Get It about your specific disorders and conditions, they're extremely likely to salvage their self-esteem by refusing to ever seriously acknowledge how much it's hurt that they've failed you.

And what that means is: You have to plan the rest of your life as if they will never be sympathetic.

That might mean never giving them any say over your medical care or personal life choices. It might mean not living with them, not turning to them when you need a supportive community, or not letting them play a large role in the lives of any children you yourself may have. It might mean having to build your own support network that doesn't include your family at all, because you can't count on them to care when you're in distress. It can really suck to have to keep giving up the dream that one day you'll be able to count on your family to nurture you emotionally, but I promise that it sucks less than being continually disappointed with no backup plan.

Researching emotional neglect can be really difficult because a lot of the best research psychology as a field has achieved on the topic comes from really extreme forms of neglect and abuse. Exactly the kind of neglect and abuse that society waves in the face of the "merely" emotionally neglected: "So what if you didn't get hugged enough! You had enough to eat, a roof over your head, and they never hit you! They weren't even mean or malicious! Stop whining!"

And... look, if you've just broken your legs and you're in a wheelchair, who would you rather learn about using a wheelchair from: someone who can easily walk everywhere all the time, or a double amputee who's been using a wheelchair for years? The first person can probably get around more easily, but the second one can tell you a lot more about the specific challenges and skills that will be central to this phase of your life.

That's the frame I propose for research: Your life might not have been as bad as the case studies you read (though it's probably worse than your family is willing to admit, because invalidation is itself a form of emotional neglect, and this is so common there's even a poem about it) but the issues they encounter and the skills they require are probably useful to you, too.

With that in mind, check out books about early childhood neglect and trauma like The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog by Bruce Perry, which talks about the parts of the brain and developmental stages that can be impaired by toxic stress in childhood, and the various forms of treatment that can address each one.

As far as CBT, remember to focus on behaviour, not just cognition. Reading about using touch to self-soothe is good, but less powerful than using that knowledge to find a blanket you love to touch, and wrapping yourself up in it whenever you're upset. Neglect means that you failed to get repeated, predictable experiences of being comforted. Healing therefore means getting that practice in as an adult: Creating thousands of daily, repetitive experiences of being cared about. Caring about yourself, and finding people who will care about you.

Maybe also give Dialectical Behaviour Therapy workbooks a try? They're designed for Borderline Personality Disorder, which can be seen as a specific subset of complex trauma. Like, if the effects of childhood abuse and neglect were a rainbow, BPD might be red-orange. But what makes DBT useful is that it has examined which skills and coping mechanisms vital to emotional health people with BPD most commonly weren't taught/never learned/need more practice on. The curriculum might not overlap completely with your own needs if you fall into the yellow, green, blue, or violet aspects of C-PTSD, but it's a good starting place when you're inventorying skills and habits you want to strengthen.

Good luck? I hope this helps!

[charbway]

A guide to Team Fortress 2 for new players

A lot of new players struggle to play TF2 when they first start out since the tutorial is very outdated and the coaching system has basically been abandoned at this point, so I thought I'd share what I know about the game. (This is more for casual TF2 than competitive TF2, since nearly everyone starts out playing casually.)

General tips

Movement

Don't stand still or walk in straight lines. Moving predictably (or not moving at all) makes you a much easier target for the enemy team, especially for Snipers and Spies. Jumping around and strafing makes it harder for opponents to hit you.

Learn to rocket/sticky jump. Advanced explosive jumping can be very tricky to learn, but even basic jumps will improve your mobility greatly.

Learn to crouch jump. Crouch jumping lets you jump onto props or ledges that you normally wouldn't be able to access by jumping normally, and it also increases the distance you travel while rocket or sticky jumping. (It's actually very easy, just press the crouch key and the jump key at the same time. I have crouch bound to Q instead of Ctrl to make crouch jumping easier for me.)

Team coordination

Don't forget about the objective. Getting epic gamer frags is fun and all but you will lose the game if your main focus is on killing and not on capturing/defending the objective. (There are exceptions to this rule but I'll get into that later.)

Don't throw yourself at the objective. Throwing yourself at the objective is not an effective way to get things done and will almost always just result in you being killed and your team losing the objective or failing a push. Wait for your team and make a push together, your team is much harder to take down if you're moving as a unit as opposed to everyone running in on their own and getting picked off one at a time. (An exception to this rule would be when the point is almost completely captured, and the enemy team is mostly dead.)

Don’t stack classes. All classes in TF2 have counters, and stacking classes makes it easier for the enemy team to prevent your team from pushing simply by playing the class that counters the ones you have stacked. (i.e 4 Spies can easily be countered by a Pyro, and 4 Heavies can easily be countered by a Spy or a Sniper.)

Try to play what your team needs. If your team is having trouble with a Heavy/Medic combo, try playing Spy or Sniper and to take care of them. If your team is dying a lot during pushes, try playing Medic to help keep them alive. If the enemy team has a lot of sentries, try playing Demoman or Soldier to take them out. If you think your team needs a class that is already being stacked, try asking someone politely to switch off so you can try, or play a different class that could achieve a similar result.

Don’t overextend. Overextending is when you or your team pushes so far forward that you are no longer focused on capturing or defending an objective, which usually works in the other teams’ favor. If your team is overextending while defending, a Scout or a Spy on the other team can easily slip by and capture an objective while no one is guarding it. (Overextending on offense isn’t as common since there’s usually at least one or two people focused on the objective, but if it happens then make sure to go back and make sure someone is pushing the cart/on the control point/etc.)

Things to look and listen for

Paying close attention to your surroundings can be difficult when you're in combat since you're very focused on fighting and staying alive, but listening and looking around on occasion can be beneficial for both you and your team.

Look for:

Teleporter trails. Teleporters are extremely useful, but can be a nuisance if the enemy team has one. You can easily find out if they have one by looking at an opponent's feet. If a player has recently used a teleporter, red or blue light will briefly trail off of their feet. If you notice something like this, then the enemy team has a teleporter up. (If the enemy team has any buildings at all then it can be assumed that they have a teleporter as well.)

Sticky traps. Good sticky traps can be difficult or even impossible to spot. However, if you see one or more stickybombs near a doorway or on a wall, chances are there's a demoman waiting for someone to walk by their trap. Stickybombs can be removed with hitscan weapons like the scattergun or minigun, or moved with explosives or the flamethrower's airblast.

Sniper dots. When a sniper scopes in, a small red or blue dot will appear wherever they are aiming their crosshair. If you notice one of these, that means a Sniper is watching that area and peeking will probably get you killed. Don't go through an area that you know a Sniper is watching unless you're confident that they aren't going to be able to hit you.

"Teammates" acting strangely. Things like teammates running away from the enemy team, Medics running around with their primary weapon out instead of their medigun, Snipers running around near the front line, and Scouts moving slowly are all behaviors that indicate that that teammate is an enemy Spy. If you see someone acting suspicious, try shooting them a couple of times. TF2 doesn't have friendly fire, so you won't hurt them if they actually are on your team.

Listen for:

Spies decloaking. If you listen carefully enough, you may be able to hear Spies decloaking behind you. The stock invis watch and the Cloak & Dagger are both very quiet, but the Dead Ringer is considerably louder. The latter two watches make a faint wooshing noise, while the Dead Ringer makes a loud ringing sound. If you hear anything like this while playing, turn around and begin spychecking.

Footsteps. These are usually hard to hear while in combat, but can be helpful for tracking flank classes like Spy and Scout.

Voice commands. There are 3 voice command menus that can be accessed with Z, X, and C by default. These commands allow you to convey ideas or call attention to something without using a microphone or the in-game chat. A few examples are "Help!" (C1), "Spy!" (X2), "Move Up!" (Z4), and "MEDIC!" (Z1 or E). Listen for and use these commands so that you can convey and receive information quickly.

Voice command menu options:

(Z)

MEDIC!

Thanks!

Go! Go! Go!

Move up!

Go left!

Go right!

Yes

No

(X)

Incoming

Spy!

Sentry ahead!

Teleporter request

Dispenser request

Sentry request

Übercharge request

Übercharge ready (Medic only)

(C)

Help!

Battle cry

Cheers

Jeers

Positive

Negative

Good shot

Good job

Class related tips

Scout

Your speed is your greatest advantage over the other classes. It lets you flank quickly, dodge projectiles and bullets, and escape unfavorable situations easily.

Your scattergun is most effective at short and medium range. getting close to your opponents will help you kill them quickly, but I wouldn't recommend getting too close if you're new to the game, especially if you haven't gotten a handle on dodging yet.

You capture objectives at 2x the rate of any other class. This makes Scout players extremely useful on offense, but less so on defense since he doesn't revert captures in the same way.

Don't run directly at the enemy team. Instead, use flank routes to get behind them and take them by surprise.

Make sure to use your secondary. A lot of Scouts will opt to switch to their melee if they run out of scattergun shots, but the pistol is much better for finishing people off.

Soldier

Soldier is a great class for beginners. He is the first class you learn to play during the tutorial, and is easy for new players to be effective with in a casual setting.

Your rocket launcher has splash damage. This means that you don't have to aim directly at your opponents in order to damage them. Try to get your opponents into small spaces (such as hallways) to ensure that they cannot avoid splash damage from your rockets. (Side note: Splash damage from rockets can hurt you as well. If you're in a close quarters fight with someone, switch to your shotgun or melee if you're not confident that you can kill them and also tank the damage from your rockets.)

Shoot rockets at your opponents' feet. This will ensure that they will take splash damage and will slow them down. This is especially important when fighting Pyros, since shooting rockets at their feet makes them harder for them to reflect.

Rocket jumping is an incredibly useful skill to have. Again, it takes a lot of practice to get more complicated jumps down, but it’s extremely useful since it improves Soldier’s mobility drastically. (Soldier is the 2nd slowest class in the game.)

Pyro

Your flamethrower is only effective at close range. In instances where people are out of your range, switch to your secondary weapon or try to ambush them.

Your flamethrower has an airblast. This can be used to reflect projectiles, push enemies around, or extinguish teammates that are on fire. Airblast is especially helpful for pushing back Übered combos and reflecting spam.

Spycheck often. Pyro is an excellent counter to Spy, since Pyro can reveal and track cloaked Spies by lighting them on fire. Even if you don't think there's a Spy around, do it just to be safe.

Demoman

Practice your pipe aim. Aiming pipes can be very difficult to learn, but it's worth it for the amount of damage a direct pipe can do in a short amount of time.

Place sticky traps. The stickybomb launcher is a great tool for denying areas, and the bombs can be detonated at any time. (Even when you're not looking at them or are holding a different weapon.) Capture points, doorframes, or around corners are good places to put sticky traps.

Place stickies down if you're being chased. Demoman doesn't have any hitscan weapons, so fighting classes like Scout or Pyro can be challenging. If you find you're not hitting them consistently or are taking too much damage, retreat and place stickies around where you think they'll chase you.

You are just as effective on offense as you are on defense. Demoman is extremely versatile and the amount of damage he can put out in shorts amount of time is great for both making and denying pushes.

Heavy

Your bullets come out of your head. I know that sounds really weird but Heavy's bullets actually come out of his head and not his minigun. This is important because it allows you to duck behind cover and still be able to do damage as long as your head is still poking out.

Wait for the enemy to come to you. Heavy is not that great at chasing due to his slow movement speed and his minigun’s rev up speed. He is most effective at ambushing unprepared opponents since they won't have time to fight back.

Jump and rev up around corners. Heavy slows down when he revs up or fires his minigun, which can be detrimental if you're taking a lot of damage at once. You can pre-rev your minigun by holding the right mouse button, and if you jump while revving up, you won't slow down until you've landed on the ground again. Jump-revving allows you to take your opponents by surprise, which is where Heavy shines the most.

Your sandvich can heal your teammates. I haven’t gone over any other classes’ unlocks and I probably won’t in this post, but the sandvich is so widely used that using Heavy’s stock secondary (the shotgun) is only ever used jokingly so I feel I should talk about it here. You can use the sandvich to heal yourself, but it can also be thrown on the ground by right clicking. Doing this creates the equivalent of a medium health pack, which you can use to heal wounded teammates. This is one of the reasons Heavy is a great pocket for Medic, since Heavy can protect the Medic and heal them if they’re in danger.

Get to safety before using your sandvich. Heavy is extremely vulnerable while eating, so you should only use your sandvich in closed-off areas and out of Sniper sightlines. You should also keep your back against a wall so that Spies can’t backstab you while you’re eating.

Engineer

Make sure your sentry is covering the objective, or protecting your other buildings. Sentries are great at area denial, but if the area your sentry is denying isn't important to the enemy then it isn't in a good spot. This doesn't mean to place your sentry super close to the payload cart or directly on the control point, but you should be putting it in a place that makes it harder for the enemy team to capture it defend it. If you’re on offense, you can use your sentry to protect your other buildings, or to help your team during a push.

Don't group up buildings together. Putting your buildings together in one place makes it easier for Demomen and Soldiers to destroy your entire nest with only a few rockets or pills. Make sure your buildings are far enough away from each other so that they won't susceptible to splash damage, but close enough to you and your team so that you can use them when you need to.

Don’t sacrifice yourself for your buildings. Sentries, dispensers, and teleporters can easily be put back up after being destroyed, as long as you're alive to do it. Sacrificing yourself just to make sure one of your buildings doesn't get destroyed may be helpful in the moment, but usually ends up with the building being destroyed anyway and you having to sit through a respawn timer before you can build it again.

Dispensers and teleporters are very important. A lot of new players like to only build sentries because they kills, but you aren't going to be able to keep your sentry up on your own without a good metal supply and your team backing you up. Dispensers provide you with metal which can be used to upgrade and repair your buildings, and also supplies you and your team with a reliable source of health and ammo. Teleporters are also very important to your team (especially Heavies) since they get your team to the front lines quickly so they can help you defend your nest and defend/attack the objective.

Don't build on the last point or on any other inactive point. Your team needs your buildings at the point that they're currently defending, and denying them the help they need just so you can get your buildings to level 3 only helps the enemy team in the long run. They would essentially be down one player for each objective that you're not helping them defend. Even a level 1 dispenser is better than nothing.

If you have other Engineers on your team, help them build and maintain their buildings. Nests are much harder to destroy if all the Engineers are working together. Things like repairing and upgrading buildings, spychecking, and removing sappers are all things you can do to help the other Engineers on your team and in turn make it harder for the enemy team to progress. (Side note: Try not to take metal from another Engineer's dispenser if you're only upgrading your buildings. They need that metal for their buildings, so if you don't have a dispenser, use resupply or find an ammo pack to do whatever it is you need to do, or build a dispenser yourself.)

Medic

Medic is the only healer in TF2. Plus all Übercharges, regardless of type, are a fantastic tool for making or denying pushes and breaking stalemates. Typically if one team has a Medic and the other doesn't, the team without the Medic will lose badly solely because they have no reliable source of health. Even being healed or having overheal is usually enough to win a 1v1 or kill multiple people. Because of this, the enemy team will want you dead as often as possible.

Don't waste your Übercharge. A lot of players think using their charge as soon as they get it is a good idea, but you should really wait until your team is ready to push to use it.

If you have Über and are about to die, use your Übercharge to preserve your life. I know this sounds contradictory to the last point, but using your charge to keep yourself alive in emergencies is significantly better than dying and not getting to use it at all. Your team needs you to stay alive so they can stay alive, and using an Übercharge to stay alive helps everyone in the long run. Plus, you can get your Übercharge back faster if you're alive and healing people instead of sitting through a respawn timer.

Don't stick to healing only one person. I know Meet the Medic had Medic pocketing Heavy and he killed like 1000 Soldiers and it was really cool and epic and swag, but he also healed Scout and Demoman before that because they were his teammates and they were hurt. Having a pocket is perfectly fine, but neglecting your team just to constantly heal one person is a waste of time for you and unhelpful for the rest of your team. You build Übercharge much faster when you're healing multiple people who are hurt, so you're not going to get as many charges if your only goal is to keep your pocket alive.

Some classes are better at being Medic pockets than others, but individual skill is what matters most. When or if you're deciding to pocket someone, make sure you're choosing someone who knows what they're doing. For example, Heavy is a pretty good pocket class for Medic, but if you had to decide between A) a Heavy who just installed the game and doesn't know how to play yet, or B) a Pyro who has been playing for years and has been pocketed many times before, the Pyro would be the better choice. The Heavy is objectively the better class, but in this instance the Heavy player lacks the experience playing Heavy needed to be effective. The Pyro has experience, so they will know how to protect you, what to do during Übercharges, and probably won't lead you into any danger.

Don't follow people into danger. If you're healing someone and they're about to walk into a room full of enemies or a sentry nest, try to tell them not to go in. If they keep going, abandon them. (It's a little different if you have an Übercharge. If you want to use it to push forward then definitely do it, but if your pocket is going too far in and there's still danger around, leave them and get out.)

Sniper

Prioritize your targets. This is pretty important for every class, but moreso for Sniper since he can pretty much instakill anyone from any distance. Medics have the highest priority since again, they’re the only healers, but after that I’d say to focus on any class that’s giving your team the most trouble. (Except for Spy and Scout, since they’re generally pretty hard to hit.)

Charged shots deal more damage. While scoped in, there’s a little bar on the right that gradually fills up the longer you stay scoped. This is your charge meter, which indicates how much damage you’ll do once the shot is fired. An uncharged headshot deals 150 damage, which can kill Snipers, Spies, Scouts, and Medics as long as they aren’t overhealed. A fully charged headshot deals 450 damage, which is enough to kill an overhealed Heavy.

Bodyshotting is okay. You should always try to go for headshots since they’re the most effective, but if you or your teammates are in danger and you think a bodyshot is enough to kill them, then go for it. An uncharged bodyshot deals 50 damage, which can be used to finish off enemies at low health, and a fully charged bodyshot deals 150 damage.

Try not to get tunnel vision. It’s always important to be aware of your surroundings, but it can be difficult while playing as Sniper since you’re usually so focused on landing headshots. Make sure to periodically unscope and check for anyone trying to ambush you, and listen for things like footsteps or Spies decloaking. You should also make sure to stick with your team when they move forward, and avoid focusing on a single sightline.

Spy

Don’t rely too heavily on disguises. Most people who are playing TF2 today have been playing for a while, so they can usually tell if someone is a Spy. If you can, use your cloak to get behind enemy lines.

Cloak before you disguise. The disguise kit creates a small puff of smoke around the player using it, which can be used to track your position even while under cloak.

Try not to bump into anyone on the enemy team. If you’re cloaked, a team-colored outline will appear around you briefly, which will give away your position and can get you killed. If you’re disguised, it’s immediately a dead giveaway since people who are on the same team can walk through each other.

Try to go for backstabs when your enemies are distracted. When people are out of combat, they’re far more focused on not getting backstabbed, especially if they already know that the enemy team has a Spy. They’re more likely to randomly check their backs if they have nothing else to focus on, so try to wait until their attention has shifted onto something else. (Example: scoped Snipers and revved-up Heavies are usually very easy targets, since they’re focused on your team and they don’t move around too much.)

Trickstabs should only be used in emergencies. Trickstabs very are useful for getting out of bad situations as a last resort, but you should use your revolver or cloak instead if you’re not confident that you can land one.

Try to make your disguise believable. If you’re in a situation where you absolutely cannot use your cloak, then do your best to try and act like the class you’re disguised as.

General disguise: Using voice commands that don’t show up in chat and jumping around/strafing can sometimes fool even experienced players. You should also be aware of the position the class you’re disguised as is usually in. (Example: Snipers, Engineers, and Medics usually behind their teammates, and Soldiers and Demomen are usually at the front lines.) You should also pay attention to your disguises’ health and act accordingly. (Example: Say “MEDIC!” or “Help!” a lot if your disguise is at low health.) You can also switch your disguise’s weapon by switching to the appropriate weapon slot and pressing B. (Example: if you’re disguised as Engineer and want to hold the wrench, switch to your knife and then press B.)

Scout disguise: This disguise can be hard to pull off since Spy doesn’t gain any kind of speed boost from disguising as Scout, but it can be useful if you’re not really focused on acting and just want to stab someone and get out since it doesn’t slow Spy down either. 

Soldier disguise: Again, very hard to pull off since most Soldiers get around by rocket jumping, so seeing a Soldier walking around looks pretty suspicious. This disguise can be useful for getting the enemy Medic to heal you though, but it isn’t one I’d use in most situations.

Pyro disguise: Pretty decent disguise since Pyro (usually) isn’t very mobile and is often found around flank routes and sentry nests. 

Demoman disguise: Under normal circumstances, this would just be a better Soldier disguise since Demomen really only ever sticky jump to get to the front lines quickly, so seeing a Demoman walking around isn’t as suspicious.  However, there is currently a bug where the Demoman disguise will be missing his legs, so try not to use this disguise either.

Heavy disguise: Good for getting the enemy Medic’s attention, not so much for stabbing anyone since it decreases Spy’s movement drastically.

Engineer disguise: Very similar to Pyro, but a bit better for sentry nests. Don’t disguise as an Engineer if the enemy Engineer is still alive and around their buildings though.

Medic disguise: Probably the best disguise for Spy, since it doesn’t slow you down and everyone expects Medics to be around their teammates anyway. Just make sure your disguise has the Medigun out and not their primary or melee. 

Sniper disguise: Not bad if you’re far behind enemy lines since Snipers are supposed to be there anyway, but not a good disguise for trying to pick off front line classes.

Spy disguise: Very similar to Scout in that its only usefulness comes from its lack of any speed penalty. Most people tend to spycheck any friendly Spies they see, even if they aren’t disguised as anything purely because they’re Spies.

End Note

The stuff this post covers is pretty surface level, and TF2 goes much deeper than just what’s written here (I didn’t write about any unlocks except the Sandvich because that would take me forever and this post has already been sitting in my drafts for months,) so if anyone has anything they’d like to add then absolutely do it because my hands hurt from typing this out. 

Some other stuff I recommend if you’re new to TF2:

Community jump maps. They’re solely used to practice rocket jumping for Soldier, sticky jumping for Demoman, sentry jumping for Engineer, and flare jumping for Pyro. 

Buy literally anything from the Mann Co. Store. Being free to play is terrible because you get barely any backpack space and you will absolutely regret deleting your Ghastly Gibus/Pyrovision to make room in your inventory for weapons you want to try out.

Online tutorials, such as Lazypurple’s “How it feels to play” series, Uncle Dane’s Engineer tutorials, and MrPaladin’s Spy tutorials. There’s also an official TF2 Wiki that has basic strategies for each class, and goes over each classes’ unlockable weapons.

Offline practice. It’s not a great substitute for other players since the bots are pretty janky, but it’s good for learning basic stuff the layout of various maps and  how each class functions ingame.

Mess around with your settings and hud, and maybe think about getting a config if your PC doesn’t run TF2 very well. Make sure to set your FoV to the highest setting and to turn on minimized viewmodels, because TF2′s default FoV and viewmodels are terrible and there’s a lot of stuff you won’t see coming if you don’t do this.

Ask for help when you need it. There are always exceptions, but I’ve found that the TF2 community is generally pretty open to helping out new players. Just don’t listen to anyone who tells you to “type unbindall in console for a free hat” or anything like that.

Don’t get discouraged. TF2 is deceptively difficult and has a pretty steep learning curve, so don’t worry if you die a bunch of times and get like 2 kills in your first game because we’ve all been through that phase.

Mute text/voice chat/other people when you need to. Again, the TF2 community is pretty okay as far as online FPS communities go, but since it’s a video game and video games fanbases can get really toxic, there’s going to be a point in time where you’re going to want to do this for your own sanity. You can mute text/voice chat in advanced options, and you can mute individual players by clicking the icon with the speech bubble and an x near it in the menu.

Anyway it’s nearly 1:00 am and I just finished typing this so uh. gn.

[fallingstarnovel]

Chapter One

Evan Golightly didn't consider himself an unlucky kind of guy. It wasn't like he was wandering around winning the lottery, but he also wasn't getting hit by chunks of blue ice from the sky from a passing airplane.

This week was just like every other week he had experienced so far. As he walked to his lecture across the university campus, he saw the same people he usually did and went to the same places as always. He didn't step on any cracks in the pavement, and he didn't walk under any ladders. He didn't find any four leaf clovers either, and he didn't have a lucky rabbit's paw on his key chain. He had a coffee cup in his hand – medium sized, not big and not small. 

He was a little late, because he had stopped to pet a black cat that lay on the pavement in front of him, but that was okay. The lecturer was very forgiving, and most people were a few minutes late anyway due to a clash in timetabling. 

Evan couldn't remember if seeing a black cat was good luck or bad luck. As the kitty purred and rubbed itself up against his fingers, he couldn't help but smile and talk to it quietly.

"Oh, you like that? You like the scritches? You're so handsome, such a handsome boy..."

Someone behind him coughed disapprovingly. A little embarrassed at getting caught, Evan straightened up and kept walking, forgetting all about whether black cats were lucky or not. 

As he approached the building where his lecture was held, Evan started climbing the concrete steps up to the entrance.

If luck could be charted on a bell curve, with some people being extremely lucky, and some being extremely unlucky, then Evan considered himself to be slap bang in the middle. If he entered the lottery, he might win one of the smallest prizes, but not very often. If he got onto a crowded bus, there would be a seat available, but not a very good one. If he chose answers at random on a test, he would get a 50% grade at the end. 

There was a meow from down by his feet. The black cat was following him. It had big green eyes which were staring at him as it meowed again. 

"I'm sorry, I would love to play with you, but I'm late," Evan said. He knew the cat didn't understand, but he still felt like being polite. 

The cat meowed very loudly and then started walking in between Evan's feet as he climbed the stairs. He started to worry that he was going to trip, slowing down and trying to shoo it away with his foot. It meowed again, but ran away, standing at a distance and staring at him. 

Evan had always been weak for cute things. He bit his lip. "Ahh, I'm sorry! Wait until my lecture finishes, I'll come back and give you scritches then!" 

He was almost at the top of the stairs now. Evan turned away from the cat – only to see a small black shadow out the corner of his eye down by his sneakers. He felt something brush against his leg, and then he tripped over something, and before he knew what was happening, he was falling backwards down the stairs. 

Evan let out a sharp cry, his arms windmilling around him as he went into freefall. 

Not the stairs... not the stairs! This was why he hated stairs! He always knew they would kill him one day! 

Before he could fall any further and roll down the stairs and smash like a boiled egg, he felt someone grab his arm and hold him still. His bag hit the ground and his coffee cup went flying, bouncing down the steps and spilling coffee everywhere, but Evan...

Evan was being held up at the top of the stairs by a strong, sure grip. 

He looked around in surprise. Holding his arm was a smiling youth with curly blond hair, tumbling in cherubic whorls around his ears. The youth looked just as shocked, his eyes big and wide as he stared at Evan. As he stopped Evan from falling. 

There was a moment of silence. The youth pulled Evan forward onto the flat ground at the top of the steps, and let go. 

"You..." Evan said in a rush. "You saved me! Thank you so much, I thought I was a goner..." 

The youth hesitantly smiled back, his eyes flickering down the stairs. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just tripped on a–" Evan said, gesturing to the cat. 

The cat was no longer there. It had disappeared. 

"... Huh. Guess I tripped on nothing. Um, thanks. Oh, man, my coffee..."

The youth picked up Evan's bag and handed it over to him. His eyes were wide, like he was recovering from a sudden shock. "Sorry. I'll buy you a new one."

"Don't worry about it, it was my fault," Evan said with a laugh. "I owe you for saving me. I should buy you a coffee!" 

The youth looked at Evan. He couldn’t help but notice that his eyes were light grey, bright and cold, crinkling at the corners in a warm smile. "There's no need to thank me. You don't owe me a thing."

Evan had heard those two sentences before many times in his life. He had heard it from friends who had done him a favour, and from customer service workers who helped him get a discount for his broken laptop, and from the nice woman in the corner shop who sent his mom flowers when she heard his grandfather had died. 

They had always been said with varying levels of sincerity. A lot of people said "no need to thank me", but secretly wanted to be thanked very much. If you didn't thank them, they wouldn't help you in the future. People were weird like that. 

But when this guy said it, for some reason Evan understood that it was the absolute truth. Like it wouldn't matter if Evan thanked him or not – he would still help him. 

Feeling a little flustered, Evan scratched the back of his neck. "Well, I have a lecture now, so I better... uh, you're sure you don't want a coffee afterwards?"

The youth seemed to think about it for just a second too long, before shaking his head. His smile was apologetic. "It's fine. Enjoy your lecture." He started walking away. 

"Ah, uh, you too," Evan said in a panic, before quietly smacking his own face. He had no idea if the guy even had a lecture. Stupid, stupid, stupid... 

The youth came to a stop. He slowly turned around, an angelic, apologetic smile on his face. "Actually, I'm a little lost. Could you tell me where room M42 is?" 

"That's – that's where I'm going now! That's where my lecture is!" Evan gave him a wide grin. "Astro 228, right?"

The youth nodded. "Right."

"Just follow me, then. Huh... I didn't know we shared a class, sorry I didn't recognise you!"

"That's okay," the youth said quietly from behind him as they entered the lecture building together. "I tend to stay quiet." 

Watery winter sun did its best to shine through the floor length windows of the lecture building. It shone off the back of Evan’s pale neck, the black hair that fell in every direction. It reflected off the otherboy’s grey eyes, making them seem more luminous, more pallid, as they watched Evan with keen, unwavering interest.

Evan walked slightly ahead to lead the way. "Well, I definitely won't forget you now. You saved my life! What's your name?"

The youth was quiet. Evan waited for an answer for an uncomfortably long time, before wondering if he had spoken too quietly. He was about to repeat the question when a soft voice from behind him said "Ruth."

Ruth? Wasn't Ruth a girl's name? Was this guy actually a girl? "Oh, Ruth? Ahh, that's a cool name."

"You don't think it's weird? That a guy has a girl's name?"

Oh, thank god, he didn't have to try and subtly ask awkward questions about pronouns. Maybe the guy was used to this kind of thing and anticipated the awkwardness. "No, I don't think so. As long as you like it, then that's all that matters. I'm Evan by the way." 

The youth hummed. "I know." 

Now Evan felt guilty. He didn't even remember seeing this guy around, but he remembered Evan's name. Ah, this was too bad. He would definitely make an effort to remember him now. "Well, here it is. Just in time–"

"Actually, you go ahead," Ruth said suddenly. "I need to use the bathroom."

Evan turned around and blinked at him. "Oh. Sure. I'll see you in a bit, then."

The youth nodded. He hesitated, before speaking again.

“It was nice to talk to you.” 

He gave Evan one last beatific smile, before walking away and disappearing around the corner. Evan quietly let himself into the lecture and scurried to the back, mouthing "sorry" at the lecturer, who ignored him. 

He made sure to keep the seat next to him free for Ruth even as other students trickled in. 

The lecturer coughed several times to get the attention of the class. 

"So, last week I opened the lecture with the following quote: God does not play dice with the universe. This is oft quoted and attributed to Einstein himself in a letter to a friend criticizing what he saw as the unacceptable flaw in quantum mechanics, that is, the possibility of unpredictable random events on a molecular level. In many ways, he was right. We have been learning how to chart the movement of objects in a vacuum – predicting the orbits of distant planets and stars around the insatiable black holes that are, themselves, in a perpetual state of movement. I know that most of you have grasped the basics of this particular module very quickly. Predictability is a magnetic lure – one gets lulled into the false sense of security knowing that we can work out the trajectory of some far flung meteor to a high degree of accuracy. As if space can be imagined as some unfathomably large clock, each cog in place, every heavenly body caught in an eternal, rational, predictable waltz to the swing of a baton that, if only we have the numbers, might one day understand the rhythms of. If you turn your attention to the notes we made on how you can work out the speed of rotation of a planet..."

Evan tried very hard to concentrate and make notes. There was always a buffer at the start of the class where this particular lecturer went on a long tangent about random things he thought were interesting, and he usually zoned out through them, but once the actual maths was brought in, there was no possibility of daydreaming and letting it slip by. If you missed anything, you ended up being more confused down the line when the more complicated stuff got brought in. 

The poor girl next to him was doomed. She fell asleep almost immediately, and Evan lit a candle in his mind for her. RIP your grades, you snoozy bitch. At the same time, he was envious. Why couldn’t he take a nap instead of doing work?

He tried to concentrate, but all through the lecture, Evan couldn't help but keep looking at the doorway, wondering when Ruth was going to appear. How long did it take to use the bathroom? Did the poor guy have a stomach upset? 

By the time the lecture was over, Evan had accepted that Ruth wasn't going to appear. He lit a candle in his heart for the guy's bowel system. Clearly, he had been having some kind of toilet trouble and decided to skip the lecture. 

What a shame. He seemed so... interesting. 

After the lecture was over, Evan slowly clambered out of his seat. The lecturer had set a bunch of exercises to do at home, and the library was calling for a study session. Time to shuffle into Tesco to get a £3 meal deal and sit down for several hours to pound his brain into submission! 

"Hey, Evan," someone called out as they left the lecture. "Evan, wait up!" 

There was a girl chasing after Evan. She had warm brown skin and an infectious smile, her eyes sparkling with excitement. 

"Oh, sorry Aliya," he said, slowing down so she could catch up. "Did you enjoy the lecture?"

Aliya pouted. "No, are you insane? Enjoy it? Why did I do an astrophysics course again? There's so much maths. I genuinely think I would drop out if I didn't think my mum would kill me."

Evan nodded in agreement. "Sometimes I think about switching to an art degree instead. I won't do it. But I just think about it sometimes."

"Wait, wait, I wanted to ask you something," Aliya said, slapping his arm lightly. "House party. I've been invited, but I don't want to go alone. It's a bunch of people I don't know very well, and..."

Evan rolled his eyes. "If you don't know them, why are you going?"

"Because I don't know how to say no!" Aliya moaned. "It's a pretty casual thing, don't worry. You know I don't drink, so I'll probably be dipping early. Please? Please please please? Please just come for a little while, just to keep me company..."

Evan wasn't a prude. He liked a good party. The thing was that he liked a good party with people he knew. "And I don't know anyone there?"

"Probably not, they're all from netball club. But hey – you'll know me!" 

"I don't know you. Who are you. Why are you following me."

"Evaaaaan. Please! I'll do anything."

There was a long silence as they exited the lecture building together. Evan watched the students stream out of the building on their way to other classes, or the library, or their rooms to go back to sleep. 

He wasn't exactly great at making friends. Aliya was the only person on his course that he talked to regularly. It was why he was pretty excited to get to know Ruth, except he disappeared, so that was a bust. He tried a few clubs and societies, but none of them had really clicked so far. 

He hadn't been to a party in ages. He was wasting the best years of his youth in university, and he wasn't even going to parties. What was the point? He was living like a grandpa and he was only twenty one! 

He wasn't an old man yet! He didn't have a pension! He still liked electronic music!

Maybe this was the chance Evan needed to make new friends. How hard could it be? 

"Sure, why not." 

Aliya cheered. "Yay! Thank you, big guy. I owe you one. Oh, wow, watch your feet, it looks like someone spilled their coffee down the stairs... haha, poor them..."

Contents | Next Chapter

[12u3ie]

Furious Cocktail AU Masterpost

This is an AU created by the Hermitcraft Headcanons Discord, so a big thanks to them!

At its most basic, Furious Cocktail is an AU where the Hermits drink a specific potion mix, die, and then can get powers. The potion combo is random and different for each player. The powers are based off of how they die, with a bit of the potions' effects added in. If a Hermit dies a second time with a correct potion combo, their code will be locked (in terms of powers) and will not be able to get any more powers.

(Hermits and powers under the cut)

Powered Hermits so far:

(These are not necessarily listed in the order they got their powers)

Zedaph

Was the first hermit to realize he had powers

Died in the Void (death was intentional, powers were an accident)

Feel asleep for three days, waking up to a very concerned Impulse and Tango

A couple days later, he realized he had powers

Powers

Telekinesis

Power draining

Locked powers are immune to this

Can blind other players

Teleporting things in and out of the Void

A bit of Void resistance

Eyes glow black when powers are in use

Tango

Zed told him about the powers

Died to a witch (accident)

Like most other hermits, he was a bit tired but didn’t really notice

Powers

Can inflict small amounts of potion effects through his hands

This extends to tipped arrows as well

Can temporarily enchant items  

Eyes glow like an enchanted item when powers are in use

Can eat blaze rods (not extremely relevant, but interesting to note)

Impulse

Finds out about the powers by accident, through Zed

By this point, Team ZIT have figured out how to get powers on purpose

Died to a shulker (on purpose)

Powers

More inventory (does not disappear on death)

Levitation

Shield he can bring up, but cannot move once brought up

Teleportation (not easily controlled)

Sparkles like shulker bullets/end rods when powers are in use

Etho

Learned about the powers through Tango

Died by fireworks (on purpose)

Powers

Throwing colorful explosions (ranged attack)

Flying without elytra

Blast resistance

Explode blocks (takes a lot of energy)

Firework particles when powers are in use

Ended up locking his code trying to get more powers

Doc

Learned about the powers through Etho

Died to a lightning bolt (on purpose)

Powers

Lightning (smaller shocks or larger bolts)

Weather prediction and lightning directing

Glows like a charged creeper when powers are in use

Grian

Didn’t know about the powers beforehand, but saw Impulse experimenting with potions and decided to drink one

He later goes to Impulse, who explains

Died by kinetic energy (accident)

Powers

Flight boost/agility

Resistance (at least to kinetic energy/fall damage)

Pushing kinetic energy outwards (super jump, ravager-esque knockback)

Super/increased speed

Little feather particles when his powers are in use

Cub

At a certain point, most of the server knows about the potion powers

Tries to die by Elder Guardian, but ends up drowning (accident)

Powers

Waterbending

Water breathing

Moves faster underwater

Bubble particles when powers are in use

Bdubs

Died by [Intentional Game Design] (on purpose)

Powers

Control of the day-night cycle (not changing the rate at which time passes; just skipping to day/night)

Can explode without killing himself

Eyes glow like an explosion, fiery red and orange, when powers are in use

TinFoilChef

Died by gravel (accident)

Powers

Stone manipulation (includes stone variants; basically an earthbender)

Block burrowing

Gravelly/floating block particles when powers are in use

Joe Hills

Tries to get powers from Cleo, but ends up dying to the diamond sword (deaths via players don’t give powers) (accident)

Powers

Controlling diamonds (summoning from the ground, manipulating diamond items like armor)

Enchantments that were on the sword (fire aspect, sharpness, looting (basically luck), mending)

Cold blue glow, like a cross between diamonds and enchantments, when powers are in use

Stress

Died by berry bushes (on purpose)

Powers

Plant growth/control

Can tame foxes

Particles like leaves/petals when powers are in use

Jellie

Not technically a player herself, she got powers via Etho’s experimenting

Before the events of this AU, Scar begged Xisuma to give Jellie semi-player status. He eventually did

Died to an enderman (on purpose?)

Powers

Teleporting wherever she likes

Can pick up blocks (levitation-like)

Can make enderman noises

Enderman particles and purple glowing eyes when powers are in use

Xisuma

Did not want powers at all, thinking they were far too dangerous

Powers permanently mess with the player’s code, and X wants none of that

Does get powers though, via an Evil Xisuma “prank”

When Xisuma realized he has powers, he has a bit of a crisis

Died from the Ender Dragon (technically on purpose)

Powers

Dragon’s breath

Haste/instamine

Levitation/flight

Regeneration by end crystals

Immunity to most enchants/effects (minus sharpness and power)

Purple eyes, that glow when his power is in use

(Almost) never uses his powers, even when beneficial

Scar

Technically the first hermit to get powers, but mistook them for wizard abilities

Only realizes once many other hermits have powers that he does too

Died by kinetic energy, flying into an enchanting table (accident)

Powers

Flight (not as strong as Grian’s ability)

Permanently enchanting items (as opposed to Tango’s temporary enchants)

Galactic particles (like an enchantment table) when powers are in use

Wels

Returns to the server, learning about the powers from Xisuma

Tries to get powers, then stops, thinking that he dodged a bullet

He did actually get powers though, getting them by a slime (technically on purpose)

He freaks out the first time he uses his powers, and like Xisuma, has a bit of a crisis about it

Powers

Splitting/cloning (maximum of four total Welses)

More strength during full moons

Reduced fall damage

Increased jump height

Body glows green when splitting

Hels

Died by a magma cube (on purpose)

Powers

Splitting/cloning (maximum of four total Helses)

Reduced fall damage

Increased jump height

Body glows red when splitting

Evil Xisuma

Before giving Xisuma powers, gives himself powers

Died by the Wither (on purpose)

Powers

Withering touch

Flight

Shoots wither skulls from his hands

Black particles when powers are in use

Vintage Beef

Died by a llama (on purpose)

Powers

More inventory (does disappear on death)

Speed boost

Carpet makes his armor fancy

Particles like llama spit when powers are in use

Keralis

Tries to get powers at random, drinking potion combos and seeing what kills him

Dies by a pillager (on purpose accident?)

Powers

Illagers don’t attack him (semi-applies to witches)

Can summon a banner of his face

Perfect aim, but only with crossbows

Can locate woodland mansions and pillager outposts

Can ride ravagers

---

This is the hermits who have powers so far in this AU. This list may and likely will be expanded over time, as more hermits get powers.

There are also quite a few stories about this AU. This masterpost is just the general concept and current powered hermits, and does not go into the specifics of certain situations. The stories (that are on Ao3) can be found here.

The timeline itself can be a bit complicated, so another post/reblog of this post may be made of it at some point.

Any questions about this AU can be answered by me or @mleemwyvern 

[the-final-sif]

So the idea of platonic soulmates & specifically soul parents / soul children has been on my mind recently, so let me introduce my first concept for them, Bond Soulmarks.

Bond soulmarks at their core are tattoos with designs that represent the other person. All bond soulmarks follow a few rules:

Each person has one design that’s unique to them. That design will appear on anyone whose a platonic / familial soulmate of theirs. If two people have the same mark on them, it means they’re soulmates with the same person.

The skin will be raised slightly to match the soulmark design, meaning that soulmarks can be felt when touched.

Soulmarks cannot be covered up by tattoos as they will always appear over the ink, and will often appear on scars/burned skin, but they can be destroyed. What happens when one is destroyed will depend on the situation & type of mark.

When a person touches their own mark on one of their soulmates, it will glow lightly, the color it glows depends on the type of mark and the mark will heat or cool slightly.

Within the broad category of bond soulmarks, there’s two distinct types of marks, Formed Soulmarks and Fated Soulmarks. Some places recognize a third type, Birth Soulmarks, but these are usually considered a subset of Formed Soulmarks as they follow almost all the same rules. 

Formed Soulmarks are defined by being formed from a pre-existing bond, and are considered extremely common;

A baby is almost always born with two of these, one for each biological parent, considered their ‘birth’ soulmarks. The only exception is if one parent is dead or entirely absent during the pregnancy. The marks won’t appear until the baby is born. Surrogacy gets interesting to say the least.

These marks are not permanent, they will fade in cases of abuse/neglect/abandonment. In extreme cases, ‘birth’ marks can fade within weeks of birth.

However, formed marks can also return if the bond is reestablished/repaired. As long as both people are alive, formed marks will change to mirror the relationship.

Formed marks will always fade/disappear from people at the same rate.

New formed marks can be made between any two people if they grow close enough platonically / familially. This is often seen between best friends, close mentors & students, and almost always with adoptive parents.

That being said, while formed marks are often seen as an indication of a good relationship, formed marks are not immune to manipulation. Children tend to be most vulnerable to this, as their relationship and worldview is more delicate.

As such, formed marks are taken into consideration in cases of abuse, and a lack of formed marks for their parents is often considered a strong indicator that a child is in a bad situation, but it’s not considered absolute.

Formed marks, if destroyed via injury, will reappear elsewhere on the body as long as the bond is still strong.

After death, a person’s formed soulmarks are ‘frozen’ and won’t change anymore on the dead person’s body. The soulmates they left behind may keep their marks, although they usually fade with time.

Formed soulmarks glow red and heat when touched, they also always have some amount of color to them.

Fated soulmarks are far more uncommon, maybe ~30% of people have them if that, and they’re weirder and less understood that formed marks;

Unlike formed marks which indicate the present, fated marks indicate a possible future. These almost always are soul parents & soul children bonds, unlike formed marks which can have a variety of platonic relationships

Fated marks appear when a child is born, both on the child and on their respective soul parent. Having multiple fated marks is considered a strong indication that a child will have a VERY interesting life.

Fated marks will not vanish due to lack of contact prior to meeting, fated marks only vanish if one person dies, or in very rare cases, a person drastically alters their life course.

Fated marks also will not reappear after injury, although they’re much harder to destroy, and a fated mark that’s destroyed won’t vanish from the other person.

Unlike formed marks, fated marks have no color to them until the two people meet.

Once two fated people meet & make physical contact for the first time, the marks will rapidly turn to color and become almost identical to formed marks.

After this first meeting, fated marks can fade/disappear just like formed marks will, although it’s quite rare for this to happen.

The only lingering difference is that fated marks will always glow blue when touched, and cool down, as long as the mark remains.

Fated marks are viewed differently by different cultures, but usually there’s a level of dramatization to them. Legally, they tend to hold a lot more weight than formed soulmarks, regardless of whether or not that’s a good idea. 

Whether fated marks should be kept private or publicly displayed also heavily varies based on culture, with some cultures having entire events centered around finding matches for fated soulmarks & others considering showing a fated soulmark publicly to be extremely taboo.

I’ve written most of this out in a general sense, but for BNHA specifically, I think soulmarks would be considered a private thing, particularly for pro-heroes or other celebrities, since quirks could allow people to fake them. It also complicates any legal matters regarding soulmarks. 

Anyways, Aizawa has like 5 fated soulmarks, 4 of which he got in the same year (1 of which came later), and since those 4 are now the right age to be in highschool, the whole UA staff has bets on which class 1-A students they’ll end up being, what order Aizawa will find them out in, and how many he’ll find total in that class. Nobody ends up winning, because nobody predicted Eri.

[silkling]

Au prompts

No rush, just throwin some thoughts out

I really like your falsely accused au, any more of that would be consumed as if it were the finest chocolate

(More g1 ish) Prowl is SpecOps in some way not just a strat-tac mech (love me some BAMF Prowl)

Prowl has a secret identity, and his pseudonym is that of a reknown orchestral composer. Meanwhile Jazz thinks Prowl knows jack sh*t about music....maybe Prowl writes him a symphony as a surprise anniversary (could be bonding or maybe a post war milestone) gift? (This is indulgent fluff of mine that i think about but never actually write XD)

No worries, friend! The falsely accused AU will return soon! I’m debating whether I should make a long fic for the next reveal or keep it short like I did the first one. I plan to have things in this AU change the canon at large, so prepare for that. :P

As for your other prompts, how about I mash ‘em together? :D

———————————————————————————————————

Prowl hadn’t always been involved in battle tactics. When he’d come online, he had realized that his tac-net was good for organizing and structuring and controlling anything large and complicated. Most bots assumed that meant a battlefield, or something else to that degree. It was why he’d initially joined the Praxus Enforcer Corps. He had excelled there, and his tac-net had helped him cut crime rates down to a tiny fraction of what they’d once been. But…after he’d done that, and his programs and procedures were in place and settled, things had calmed and he’d had nothing to do. He had hated it. So, in an effort to break up the monotony, he’d gone to view an orchestra performance. After that, he’d been hooked. He’d watched the conductor control and guide the flow of the music and the musicians, and his processor had roared to life.

The next day, he’d handed in his formal resignation from the Enforcers, and had been allowed to leave with full honors. His Chief knew he hadn’t been happy, knew he’d been stagnating. Highwire had only wished him luck before she’d sent him off. Then, Prowl had devoted himself to music. He learned all he could, and slowly, agonizingly slowly, he’d managed to work his way from a music writer, to a small time musician, to a small time conductor. And then he had had his first show as a proper orchestra conductor, small and non-essential as it was, and his tac-net had settled and quieted, it’s systems purring as it allowed him to direct the flow of the orchestra with perfect precision. He hadn’t known at the time, but his show had been watched by one of the most well-known and oldest conductors on Cybertron. After his show, Treble had approached him and introduced himself, and offered to take Prowl on as a protege.

He had agreed, and his next show had been bigger. He’d written the music himself, the orchestra he was conducting was much larger, and Treble had used his vast influence to promote it. That was the first time he’s taken to the stage as Baton. He had decided shortly after he’d begun training under Treble that he didn’t want to use his real name when on stage. He enjoyed his privacy, and if all of Cybertron knew Prowl as a conductor he wouldn’t get much peace. So, on stage, he was Baton, and as Baton he also used a temporary paint to change his colors and used some fabric to drape over shoulders and hips. It was enough to disguise him.

And to his delight, his first show had been a massive hit. His tac-net had enjoyed this even more, the larger scale giving him more to work with, more to control and direct, and he reveled in it. Then, after the show, Treble had revealed to the audience that Baton had written all the music that had been played that night, and with that single performance his career was set. Over the following vorns, he’d grown more and more popular, and he’d eventually finished his tutelage under Treble. As time passed, he’d quickly become the most well known conductor on Cybertron. His orchestra had grown too, and had become known as the largest on the planet. Prowl, or rather Baton, led a orchestra of over a thousand mechs and femmes through songs he himself wrote. He had loved every minute of it.

Prowl wasn’t an emotional mech. In fact, emotion was something he struggled with. He thrived on order and structure, and emotions were not organized or structured, but music…music was. And music was also emotional. Through music, he had been able to give his emotions the order and structure he desperately needed in order to express them properly. Prowl had loved his life as Baton. It wasn’t grand, and he didn’t serve much of a higher purpose, but he brought joy to his orchestra, and to his audience, and for him that was enough.

But then…the whispers started. Now, Prowl wasn’t a fool. Most mechs who hadn’t been involved in the inner workings of Cybertron would claim that Megatron had risen from practically nothing and started the war on on his own. He knew that wasn’t true. Megatron had risen from a well-established foundation, a foundation that had built itself long before he gunmetal warlord had even given thought to revolution and war. No, the war had started millennia before the rise of the Decepticons. It had started on the quiet whispers among the lower castes, it had started on the stirrings of the beaten down and the starving. It had started at the rising tide of outrage and horror in face of the Senate’s cruel and extreme punishments for any tiny hit to their authority. It had started in the discontent at the tighter and tighter stranglehold the Senate had began to employ as they grabbed for and more power for themselves, and more and more of the mechs in lower society suffered and died. No, the war didn’t start with Megatron. Megatron was merely the catalyst. If he hadn’t come along and done what he had, Prowl had no doubts that a full scale revolt would have occurred. The fuel for the war had already soaked into the roots of Cybertron. Megatron had only been the spark that lit the blaze,

Prowl had heard the whispers, the growing discontent. He’d seen how the civil unrest got worse with each passing stellar cycle. He knew it was only a matter of time before something in his life changed again. So, when Covert approached him, he hadn’t been surprised. She told him she was the head of an independent group of Special Ops bots, unaffiliated with any political group and who worked only to keep Cybertron as a whole safe and stable. They weren’t much liked by the Senate, since they were not under any mech’s control, but the Senate also couldn’t do anything about them since, apparently, the group had been operating as they had since before the Senate itself had even existed. Covert had told him she’d seen some of his shows, seen the way he directed the orchestra, and she had dug in and found his public records as Prowl. She’d read about what he’d done as an Enforcer, had read about what information there was available on his tac-net, and realized she needed him. She told him that the civil unrest was growing worse, that things were even more dire than they appeared on the surface. That she wanted him to join her, to train him as an agent and a spy, and she wanted him to use his tac-net and his other abilities to help keep Cybertron safe.

Prowl had floundered. He understood why she was doing it. His logic centers agreed that her points were sound, that it would be best for everyone’s future if he went with her. His tac-net ran probability outcomes, spitting out percentages at him of what would happen if he accepted her offer, what would happen if he didn’t, what would happen if the unrest grew to proper war and what would happen if war could not be contained or controlled. The numbers weren’t good. His logic centers had screamed even louder at him to accept. His emotional cortex had protested. He didn’t want to leave his orchestra, his music. But…he was needed. As much as he loved what he was now…he couldn’t let others suffer if he had a way to help. So, with a heavy spark, he had taken her hand.

The next day had come, and Prowl had announced to the world as Baton that he was temporarily leaving the music scene. Baton was having issues with his health, and until they were resolved he would not write music or conduct again. And so with the well-wishes of fans and his musicians alike, Baton faded into the background of Prowl’s spark, and Operative had taken his place. Once again, he had had to disguise himself. This time, he’d taken more permanent measures, a dark blue visor and a battle mask that covered the lower half of his face. A radical paint change, and even alterations to his armor itself to make him sleeker and slimmer. Covert herself had trained him, and shortly thereafter he had gone on his first mission. Prowl had found he had a natural aptitude for spy work. He was small, quick, and stealthy, and he had a knack for processing, deconstructing, and disseminating information. It didn’t take long for him to become known as one of the most accomplished SpecOps agents on the planet. It also wasn’t long before he took his first life. He still remembered that mech’s face. It haunted him, in ways his subsequent kills didn’t. After that, he had also been sent on the occasional assassination, though his work as a spy always came first.

And then, just has he had predicted…war.

It had erupted swiftly and violently, and it wasn’t long before his unit had been forced to make a choice. Most of the agents had allowed themselves to be folded into the ranks of Autobot SpecOps. Prowl, or rather Operative, had not. He had continued to act independently, knowing that if he joined the Autobots officially and his affiliation was known in the event of possible capture by Decepticons, it would make things worse, so he’d remained officially neutral. Though, most of his work had been for the benefit of Cybertron’s neutrals and civilians, with information tossed to the Autobots occasionally.

It was his acting in this way that allowed him to prevent a larger tragedy from occurring in Praxus. He had had to fight Soundwave to get to the information, and he’d taken out all the mech’s cassettes and shattered his optics in the resulting fight, and he had managed to get the information about the attack on his home city. He hadn’t been able to stop it, but he’d sent the information along with a warning ahead to the city itself and to the Autobots. It had allowed Praxus to evacuate all its Youth Centers and even a fair amount of its civilian citizens before the city was destroyed. He hadn’t been able to save his home from being razed to the ground, but his actions had saved the next generation of Praxus’s children.

It was shortly after that that Covert, now head of Autobot SpecOps, had approached him again. The head of the Autobot Tactical Division had recently been offlined, and the faction was starting to buckle and struggle in their fights. Prowl had known what he had to do. So, once more, Operative had retreated to the shadows of his spark, and Prowl had stepped forward as himself for the first time since his days as an Enforcer. Covert had taken him directly to the Prime, where she’d laid out his life story and explained the situation. Together, the three of the, had created two files for him. One, that detailed his life as Prowl and as an Enforcer, and everything he’d accomplished as one, which would be open for public access. The other, which contained the life he’d lived and the things he’d done as Operative, would only be a accessible to Prime and himself, and the head of SpecOps with previous permission from the Prowl of Optimus. Baton would not be put into any files at his request, since at the time he’d been a civilian. He wanted to keep his happiest times to himself.

And then, Covert had been offlined in a mission, and her second in command had taken her place. That was when Prowl had met Jazz. Their initial meeting had been….less than stellar.

(“So, yer the head of Tactics? Gotta say, I’m surprised an Enforcer managed to do anythin’ worth much to a military group like this one. Didn’t think workin’ petty criminals on the streets would translate to bein’ able to lead proper soldiers.”

Rage, quick and burning.

“And I am surprised a mech as carefree as yourself is capable of leading a group like SpecOps. Doesn’t that require delicacy?”)

After that, their relationship had been…rocky. It didn’t help that Jazz couldn’t access Prowl’s sealed file. Not that the mech necessarily knew the file was about Prowl, he just knew it involved the tactician in some way. Still, it had taken them a few vorns before they’d been able to patch up their relationship and work things out. And after that point…things had simply grown. Prowl had come to realize that Jazz was an easy mech to get along with. He was pleasant and adaptable, and he didn’t push beyond the Praxian’s comfort zone. He was also fiercely intelligent, and Prowl had been delighted to learn that the saboteur was actually a rather brilliant tactician in his own right. In fact, because Jazz understood emotions and the inner workings of a bots’s mind better than Prowl, it wasn’t uncommon for him to go to the Polyhexian for advice on his plans if he felt it was needed. It was also why he never took it too personally if Jazz ever criticized his proposed plans in meetings.

Things had kept moving forward, and forward, until…

(“Ya look real pretty under the stars, there, Prowler.”

“I believe I told you not to call me that.”

A frame, settling next to him.

“Ain’t gonna stop me, mech.”

“No, I suppose not.”

Silence, then a breath.

“Can I kiss ya, Prowl?”

More silence. A huff, and a smile.

“I would like that very much, Jazz.”)

Their relationship had taken work. They had been friends first, which certainly helped, but they were both mechs of secrets. Jazz’s secrets were a byproduct of his work, and Prowl’s a byproduct of his life. It had taken time for them to accept and understand that some such secrets are okay. Eventually, they had worked it out, and their bond had only grown. Prowl was startled at just how easy it was to love Jazz, just how easy it was to give his spark to the other mech and not fear it being hurt. Jazz was…a soft lover. He was gentle and doting and so tender it almost made Prowl ache. One of his favorite things was curling up into Jazz’s chest, the spy’s hands smoothing over his doorwings as they simply enjoyed each other’s closeness and affection.

It was peaceful. A type of peace he hadn’t known since before Operative. Perhaps, one he’d never really known at all. They were strong together, with Prowl as the Autobot SIC and Jazz the TIC. They had the trust of their Prime, and the respect of their soldiers. The Decepticons hadn’t had the upper hand in centuries. So, their next step was only logical, given how rare joy was in these days, and how little they knew of the certainty of their own future.

(“My Spark and your spark, forever as one.”

“Bonded together, until the stars wink out and the world collapses.”

“In this life and the next, I am yours, as you are mine.”

“For all of eternity, I shall remain at your side, and you shall remain at mine.”)

They bonded. Under the eyes of Optimus and with the approval of their Prime, they bound their very sparks, tying themselves together for the rest of time. They had asked to keep the information secret. Only the Officers on Optimus’s personal team knew. And so that way they stayed, until the war forced them from their home. Prowl hadn’t ever expected to wake, after the crash. But he did. And Jazz, too. Everyone had. So, the war continued, only now it was on a small organic planet rich with energon. Prowl was only slightly surprised that the scale and brutality of the war was much, much less here.

But then….things went wrong. They had been on Earth for several of the planet’s years when the DJD had come. Apparently, they were only there to drop off a traitor for Megatron to deal with. But then Tarn had decided he wanted to do his Lord one more favor, and…Jazz’s team had been captured on a supply run. The rest of the base quickly gave up hope. No one wanted to fight the DJD, and even if they did no one was sure there was even anything left of their comrades to rescue. Prowl knew, though. He still felt the echo of Jazz’s spark brushing his.

So, for the first time in mega-cycles…Operative roared to the forefront. Prowl returned to the room he shared with Jazz, opening the secret compartment behind his desk that not even Jazz had been aware off. In it, was everything he needed to become Operative again, as well as anything he had kept that had to do with Operative as a whole. He removed the visor from its case, clicking it onto his face, and his battle mask slid out in three pieces from the armor at his chin and cheeks to cover his mouth and nose. He grabbed the pain from the small compartment, covering his current colors in quick, sure movements. Then, he put everything back and retreated to the shadows, leaving the base and driving off.

He knew where the DJD’s ship was. He knew how they operated. They wouldn’t take Jazz’s team to Megatron until they had worthwhile information to go along with it. He also knew that Tarn was the only one who was on board, having done preliminary probing earlier that day. Now, it was time to act. He drove in silence, until he finally arrived at his location. It didn’t take him long to find a way into the ship. It was one of the external vents, usually used for pumping contaminated air out of the ship. If he was careful, he could force it open and sneak in.

Once he had entered the ship, he stuck to corners and shadows, doorwings angled upwards and sensors dialed up to their max in order to pick up the minute charge that signaled where any cameras were. Using that, the was able to avoid detection, until he got to the brig. He saw the team there, but more importantly, Jazz was there. They were all a little roughed up, and he knew he had to hurry. He had already sent a short message back to base informing them of his mission and telling them to come for retrieval. He knew he’d get into some trouble for his rogue actions, but at the moment he didn’t care.

Looking over the team, he realized his initial plan wouldn’t work. He had hoped to sneak them back through the ship, but they were all injured in some manner or another and he could tell they wouldn’t be able to pull their processors together enough to be as stealthy as they needed to be. Which left Plan B. Explosives. He pulled one of his favorite explosive disks from his subspace, setting the timer and sticking it to the far wall of the brig. He activated it, then hurried to open the cell door. At his reveal, three sets of tired optics locked onto him. Immediately, recognition flickered. They knew Operative from the stories, even if none of them had ever met him in person. He was a SpecOps legend, after all.

He gestured quickly, making a motion to where the explosive was ticking, and hurried in to help Jazz up. He was the most injured of the three, and Mirage quickly moved to his other side to help keep the saboteur steady. The four mech group hurried as fast as they were able out of the cell, and the explosive went off. It took out the ship wall, and then they were dragging themselves to freedom. The impact with the ground was rough, and he knew their time was limited. Tarn would be coming to investigate soon, and he had to buy time until the retrieval team arrived. He managed to get the three SpecOps mechs settled against a large boulder, just as he heard heavy pede steps approaching behind him.

He straightened, turning around and lifting his gaze to meet Tarn optics-to-visor.

“So,” Tarn hummed, tilting his head. “The fabled Operative makes his return. You know, it was always assumed you’d perished before the war left Cybertron.” He said smoothly.

He said nothing, expression unreadable behind mask and visor. His posture gave nothing away, either. Under the light of the sun, his deep blue and burnt copper colors seemed to absorb the light. His wings were held at a neutral angle, though they were tilted just so to pick up any signals or changes in the air. His hands were folded behind his back, and he merely stared at the larger mech in front of him.

There was a long beat of silence, and then it was broken by the sound of approaching engines.

Neither mech looked away.

He heard the sound of transformation behind him, and heard Ironhide’s gruff voice speaking to the three downed Autobots. It was as he heard movement indicating they were being pulled away that Tarn finally shifted. It drew the attention of the retrieval team, who up to that point had been more focused on getting their comrades to safety and had been ignoring the SpecOps mechs attempts to make them look at the other two bots present. He could feel the static of Ironhide’s surprise on his doorwing sensors, and he heard Hound let out a frazzled exclamation of surprise.

“Who-“ Ironhide’s began, but Jazz was the one who cut him off.

“Operative. That’s Operative.”

“Who?”

“The greatest spy Cybertron has ever known.” Tarn said, voice oily and dark. “Responsible for revealing Senator Crankshaft’s illegal activities, for breaking up the slave trading ring in Uraya, and most known for stealing the information from the Decepticons that allowed Praxus to save its Sparklings and Younglings.”

There was silence, before Trailbreaker’s voice could be heard. “Holy scrap, one mech did all that?”

“That, and much, much more.” Jazz spoke, voice rough. “Operative is a legend, ‘Hide. And he may not be one of ours, but he is on our side.”

At that, he merely dipped his head in acknowledgment of his bonded’s words. He still didn’t remove his gaze from Tarn.

“Well, and enlightening as this was,” Tarn spoke, taking a step towards the Autobots. “I’d like my prisoners back now, though I certainly wouldn’t mind bringing more Autobot helms to my Lord.” he all but purred, one servo lifting.

It was then that he moved. The Praxian flared his wings, and the armor in his back shifted and made way for hidden boosters. They flared to life, and he sped forward faster than anyone could react, grabbing a length of metal wire from his sub space as he blurred towards Tarn. He snatched the ‘Con’s wrist, dropping his weight down to force Tarn over, and as he moved he slid between the larger mech’s legs while looping the wire around the caught wrist. In the same movement, he slammed his other elbow into the back of Tarn’s knee, forcing it to buckle, and then he twisted and threw his weight, tossing the purple mech to the ground with a heavy, hard impact.

Before he could move, he was rolling on his heels, a wrist flicking and sending a sharp knife into his palm from the sheath hidden in his forearm, and he used the hand still holding the wire to quickly loop the rest of its length around Tarn’s neck. Hand freed, he grabbed the arm the Decepticon was trying to use to get up, twisting it and forcing him onto his front with one arm trapped under his own weight, and pressed a knee to his spinal strut. He finished it by pressing the tip of the sharp blade to the back of Tarn’s head, right into a chink in the heavy armor and against the fragile protoform underneath. Like this, it would be all to easy to force the blade forward and straight into Tarn’s processor. It would kill him in an instant, and it was a maneuver he could pull off before Tarn would be able to throw him off, since positioned like he was, he could feel every shift and tense in the larger mech’s frame. The whole thing had taken barley 10 seconds.

“You will be taking no prisoners today.” he said tonelessly. “You will leave. I will not hesitate to offline your should you attempt otherwise.”

There was silence, and then a low chuckle rose from the trapped ‘Con. “My, I am surprised. It’s been a long time since I’ve been so soundly beaten. It seemed rumors of your skill weren’t exaggerated. Though, what can I expect, from the mech who offlined Sentinel Prime?”

He pressed the knife down harder, engine rumbling in warning as he tried to ignore the gasps from the Autobots behind them.

Tarn clearly got the message. “Alright, little mech. I’m leaving.” he agreed.

He stayed where he was for only a moment, then shifted off the larger mech. As Tarn stood, the blade flashed around him to slice through the wire, and then Operative was moving away.

“Go.” the spy stated, voice cold.

Tarn only chuckled once more, turning a speculative look on to the group in front him, before he boarded his ship. A few moments later, it took off.

“Did you really offline Sentinel Prime?” It was Hound.

He turned, then tilted his head. “I did.”

“Why?” Mirage’s voice was rough, his tone demanding.

“Sentinel was corrupt.” To everyone’s surprise, it was Jazz who spoke. “He not only was aware of the Senate’s actions before the war, he approved and even took part himself. He let the power of the Matrix and the Primacy go to his helm, and he stopped protectin’ and leadin’ Cybertron like he should’ve.” he rasped. “Prime told me. He said Sentinel’s death wasn’t the tragedy the media made it out to be. The Matrix showed him some o’ the stuff the old mech did, and apparently it would be enough to disgust even the Unmaker himself.”

There was shocked silence, and Trailbreaker’s voice was weak. “Seriously?”

“Sentinel Prime was not a true Prime. He was chosen by the Senate and by the Prime before him, not by the Matrix. Before Optimus Prime, there had not been a true Prime since the last of the Thirteen.” Operative revealed.

“How do you know that?” Mirage demanded.

His question was met with a stony silence.

The Towers mech bristled, looking ready to say something else, and then Ironhide’s cleared his throat. “Right. Well. We gotta get these guys back to base.” He turned to the Praxian. “What about you?”

“My mission is done. I will take my leave now.” he said. Then paused. “You will find your second in command back at your base.” And then he slipped backwards into the shadows of a nearby cliff and was gone.

“Wait, how the Pit did he even know it was Prowl who’s missing and sent that message?”

“It’s Operative, Hound.” Skids, the final member of the missing team, sounded tired as he spoke. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he knows every Autobot and Deception secret.”

========================

Back at base, the missing team had been patched up and were recovering in the medbay. It was midnight, and Mirage and Skids were deep in recharge. Jazz was not. He was waiting. Soon, a mech slipped from the shadows, blue and copper colors had changed to black and white, and the visor and mask were both gone. Jazz turned to stare are his bondmate approached, his optics unreadable behind his visor.

“So.” he murmured. “Yer Operative. I’m guessing that’s what’s in that file you never let me get into. Did Covert know?”

“She was the one who recruited me.” Prowl answered. His spark felt heavy and he couldn’t meet Jazz’s gaze. “I’m sorry.”

Jazz hummed, going quiet. “Not gonna lie, Prowler. I’m a little hurt.” he sighed. “But…I get it.” Prowl turned startled optics to his mate. “I’m SpecOps too, remember? I know how important secrets are. Plus, I can understand why you wouldn’t say anythin’. The war needs Prowl the tactician, not Operative the spy.” he mused. “Sure, Operative would help big time, but the Autobots can survive without him, we can’t survive without you, Prowl.”

The Praxian was quiet for a moment, and then his doorwings slumped in relief and he reached out to curl his hand around Jazz’s fingers. “I’m relieved. I was worried you would wish to have nothing to do with me.” he whispered.

Jazz softened. His visor slid away, revealing shining, open optics. “Never, lover.” he purred. “‘Until the stars wink out and the world collapses’, remember? Now pull up a chair and sit. I get the feelin’ you need the closeness as much as I do.”

Prowl did just as Jazz asked, once he’d gotten settled, he folded one arm on the edge of the medical berth, resting his helm on it and once more curling the fingers of his other hand into Jazz’s.

That night, the two bonded mechs recharged just like that, assured once more of their love and devotion for one another.

========================

A couple weeks later, and Jazz had been released from the medbay, given strict orders to finish his recovery in his room. He was on medical leave until such time that Ratchet said otherwise. Prowl had an plan, though. The anniversary of their bonding was today, and he knew his mate loved music of all kinds. He was ready to share his final and more treasured secret with the spy. But he wanted to do more than just tell him the truth. He wanted to show Jazz exactly how much he meant to him. He had a plan for that. He had spent the past many, many days writing a piece of music for the first time since he’d been forced to leave his life as Baton behind. Once he’d finished, he’d just needed a way to play it.

He didn’t have a Cybertronian orchestra, and the few Cybertronian instruments available wouldn’t be enough for a piece of this scale, which left…an Earth orchestra. And luckily for him, he knew exactly what do to. A couple years back, Prowl had rescued a famous human conductor, and had offered him a ride to his home. It was on the way he’d ended up revealing he too had once been a conductor, as his spark had been aching to reminisce with someone who understood, and the two had bonded. Zachary, the human, had been ecstatic when he learned that Prowl wrote his own music. He had told that Autobot that if he ever wrote something again, he would be glad and honored to have his orchestra play it.

Prowl had taken him up on the offer the moment he’d finished piece. They had organized it, and Prowl had even written in a piece for a Cybertronian instrument to be included, which he himself would play. It had taken days of practice but Zachary, the orchestra, and Prowl had managed to play the full song. It wasn’t anything like a Cybertronian symphony, but…Prowl had a feeling Jazz would love it all the same. They’d recorded the full piece for Prowl to take with him, and the Autobot had promised to write Zachary a song as well when the human had come to him after the performance, teary eyed and awed.

Now, it was the morning of their anniversary, and Prowl rose first. He had to get to work, but he knew Jazz was still bed bound. He simply wrote quick note, and left his gift on Jazz’s bedside before leaving. All day, his processor raced and raced. Would Jazz like the gift? Would he recognize that it was a Baton piece even if the instrumentation was different? Did he even know who Baton was? For once, Prowl found his work to be lacking, and by the time he was heading back to their room that night his logic center and emotional cortex were clashing horribly.

The door to his room opened as he stopped in front of it, and closed when he stepped inside. Immediately, blue optics slid to the form on the berth. Jazz was staring at him, visor gone and gaze intense. The mech slowly shifted out of the berth, and Prowl was frozen where he stood. Jazz approached him, and then he pulled the Praxian into a hard kiss.

When they separated several moments later, Jazz’s voice shook. “Did you know,” he whispered. “That Baton was my first crush? I saw his first performance, before his name was known to the public and before Treble took him under wing. I’ve loved him ever since. When he took a break, and then the war happened, I always figured he’d been offlined.” he whispered. “Then I met you.” he grinned, his expression so open and adoring it made Prowl’s spark ache. “And you became my first true love.” he leaned in to kiss his mate fiercely more before pulling back. “You know what that means, my spark?”

“What?” Prowl asked, voice soft.

“It means,” He purred. “That I’ve always loved you, since the moment I first saw you, even if I didn’t know you were you.”

Prowl blinked, then laughed, staticky and relieved. “You liked the music, then?” he asked. He hoped Jazz understood what he had been saying with the symphony. He’d written it from the spark.

Jazz just grinned, kissing him firmly once more before dragging him back to the berth. “It was perfect, lover. Just perfect.” he smiled. He got them both settled on the berth, tucked in close to one another. “And Prowl?”

“Hm?”

“I love you too.”

[valhahazred]

Cryptid Mythos bonus! Everything that appears on this sheet is an entity reported by real people. Why no Mythos this time? Because these encounters are so strange in appearance or behavior that they could slip right into the Sothic multiverse with little to no alteration or alternative explanation. Good luck Investigators!

All Colours Sam In 1973, in the town of Sandown, 7 year old “Fay” and an unnamed friend encountered a very strange individual as they explored the fringes of a golf course. They first became aware of something weird going on when they heard a sound like an ambulance siren in the distance. Following the sound to a footbridge over a creek, the two children were confronted by a three fingered hand wearing a blue glove that beckoned them from beneath the bridge. Awaiting them was a seven foot humanoid figure wearing strange clownish clothing, seemingly reinforced with wooden slats that protruded from his sleeves and pant-legs. The figure had a book in his hands, which he immediately fumbled and dropped in the water. He splashed around cartoonishly before recovering his book, leaping out of the creek and away from the children. He moved to a small metal shed with a high-kneed hopping gait and disappeared inside. The children went to leave, only for the mysterious entity to exit again with a microphone that appeared to be the source of the wailing that drew the children in the first place. It spoke into the microphone in a friendly, non-threatening tone. “Are you still here?” The children were curious and unafraid, so they moved towards him. He held up his book and pointed at the words in order to introduce himself. “Hello and I am all colours, Sam”. They asked if he was human and he said no and when asked if he was a ghost he replied, “well, not really but I am in an odd sort of way.” The children asked what he was then and he simply said, “You know.” During their conversation with the entity they learned that although he went by Sam, he didn’t really have a name, he claimed that there were others like him and that he was afraid of humans and that he was a pacifist, refusing to harm others even if they should attack him. He invited them into his hut, where he shared some wildberries and showed them a magic trick, where he placed a berry into his ear and seemingly teleported it to his mask’s eyehole and then to his mouth with quick jerks of his head. They continued to converse for almost an hour before the children decided to leave. Was he an alien in a make-do disguise? An animated scarecrow? A figment of childish imaginations? Or just a strange homeless man dressed like a clown? Whatever the truth, All Colours Sam, also known as the Sandown Ghost Clown, was never seen again. The Crazy Critter of Bald Mountain This weird looking creature was sighted by three people in the week following a fiery object that passed over the Bald Mountain near Newaukum Lake in Washington. When the local Sheriff began an investigation into the sighting he was visited by heavily armed and uniformed men who claimed to be from the Air Force and forced him to give up the case. Old Saybrook Blockheads Mary Starr was awoken in the early morning on December 16, 1957 by a bright light shining into her bedroom. She looked out the window to witness a 30 foot cigar shaped craft hovering over her yard, less than 10 feet from her house! Inside the apparent spaceship she witnessed a pair of small creatures with fleshy skirts and clear cubic “heads” containing a floating red bulb. They raised their right arms and as a third entity appeared in the portholes the ship brightened before shooting off into the sky. Space Brains of Palos Verdes As John Hodges and Pete Rodriguez were leaving a party at two in the morning they were not expecting to meet anything from out of this world but as the car turned on its headlights illuminated two bizarre entities! The men panicked and drove away, ending the story for Rodriguez as he made it home with no complications. However, in Hodges case he next became aware of himself two and a half hours later in the driveway of his home, sitting in the car as if in a trance. Troubled by the missing time, he eventually went for hypnosis in an attempt to recover his memories of the night. While under regression he claimed that while he got his friend home safely, when he returned to his own residence the disembodied brains were waiting for him! He asked them what they wanted and suddenly he was elsewhere, in a dark room with entities that looked like the classic Greys but very tall and with webbed six fingered hands and yellow eyes. They explained that the brains were “merely translators” used in order for these beings to interface telepathically with humans. He claimed they warned him that Earth had “too much power” and showed him a map of the planet covered in lights that indicated places where humans might destroy themselves. They showed him images of dead planets and made several inaccurate prophecies before he suddenly found himself back in his car. Unlike many other abductees with similar experiences Hodges did not try to make excuses for their bunk predictions or feel like it made him important in any way. He simply assumed the aliens were untrustworthy and were playing with him. The Casa Blanca Entities This is one of the strangest and most confusing accounts of a Close Encounter of the Fifth kind, as eight children ranging from the ages of four to fifteen were terrorized by a parade of extraterrestrial monsters one summer day in 1955. It started with an array of UFOs, sun-like, disk-shaped and semi-transparent, appearing and disappearing with musical pings. Then came the entities. First was a ghostly being bearing a shiny belt buckle that was so brilliant it could blind someone looking straight at it. It was followed by disembodied arms in riveted armor that seemed to beckon to the children, small strange men that used dual ray guns to paralyze and finally a many limbed creature. All through this strange arrival something spoke to the children telepathically, offering to take them away. The kids they spoke to often seemed to be entranced, moving to the dancing UFOs mindlessly and required physical force or even being hosed down to snap them out. One child even fell off a roof in an attempt to reach a UFO, only to be protected by a red force field. The weirdest part of all is that not only did adults not see anything, they couldn’t. Despite being present for the event a mother of one of the children was unaware of the paranormal happenings. Does this mean it was all in the children’s heads, as they were overtaken by some kind of playground hysteria? Or is there some alien force that not only wants our children but can make themselves invisible to undesirable observers. The Garson Invaders In 1954 three of these insectoid entities appeared to Canadian miner Ennio La Sarza. Their appearance was already exceptional by the usual standards of reported alien contact but in a particularly striking detail their faces appeared to glow in colours La Sarza had never seen before! The beings asked La Sarza to do something for them but he refused, not only to do it but to even speak of it. It was so awful and “outright apocalyptic” that he even considered asking the RCMP to lock him up in case the creatures he’d met had some way to enforce his cooperation. The Poole Pyramid This multi-hued metallic pyramid appeared in 1965 to seven year old Terrence Druce of Poole in Dorset when he awoke to it hovering over the foot of his bed. He shrieked in terror, waking his younger brother in time for him to also witness it as it faded into thin air. That encounter might have never been recorded if the brothers hadn’t seen it again the very next day, lurking in a parking lot. They said it seemed aware of their presence and turned to watch them but it did not follow them when they decided to flee the scene. Delta Dogs An anonymous woman was driving through a snowstorm on route 07 through Syracuse in January 1958. She came across what at first seemed to be a downed plane but as she approached her engine slowly ran itself down and the car stopped itself. As she desperately tried to restart the car the snowstorm calmed and more details became apparent. Projecting out of the large object she’d thought was a plane crash was a 50 foot illuminated pole. Two strange beings rose up along the pole, floating by it as it started to retract. When the pole finished sinking into the object the creatures disappeared and the craft took off so fast she couldn’t make out where it went. The Electric Serpent of Tacoma This is easily the most unusual sighting of a sea creature that I’ve ever heard of. Seven men camping on the shore of Black Fish Bay in 1893 encountered a sea monster that appeared to be cybernetic, if not entirely biomechanical! Disturbed by a horrible noise and blinding lights the men left their camp to find a huge, hairy walrus-like animal with steaming horns, bands of coppery metal and a revolving propeller-like tail! One of the men approached it to get a better look, only to be struck by an electric blast from its copper bands and fell to the ground as if dead. When one of his friends tried to pull him to safety, he was likewise shocked by the impossible animal. The other men fled into the woods after seeing two of their number seemingly killed and the Electric Serpent seemed to lose interest and swam out into Puget Sound. Once they were sure it was gone the remaining men returned to the beach and were elated to find their friends burned and stunned but still very much alive! So what happened? Was it just one of the sadly common newspaper hoaxes of the time? Or did a bunch of 19th century fishermen find a literal fucking pokemon? You decide! Stickmen The Stickmen are an extremely recent phenomenon, with reports starting within the last 10 years or so. They are described as being stick thin and roughly humanoid, sometimes with bubble heads, glowing eyespots or even top hats. They range in size from human-like to towering in excess of 20 feet. What is most interesting about them is their apparent two dimensionality, sometimes appearing the same no matter what angle they are viewed at and sometimes being able to turn to the side and vanish as though they were never there. They are also frequently reported as being accompanied by a feeling like static electricity and of aggression or hostility. Despite those impressions the Stickmen do not appear to be hostile, instead seeming surprised and immediately retreating from a witness.

[the-silvertonguewitch]

Some thoughts, now that I’ve finished my re read of TSC

-When Lyra reach the Blue Hotel, she finds Nur Huda already there and waiting for her, but Pan, who’s been travelling with Nur Huda, isn’t. Nur Huda seems to know her way around the Blue Hotel. If Pan isn’t waiting outside with her, it could be because, while humans might come and go as they please in the Blue Hotel, once daemons get inside, they – technically – can’t leave. That would explain why so many people who go there don’t return (they’d rather stay there with their daemons than leave without them) and why people that do return from there appear “diminished” (TSC, 609). Wild guess: It’s possible that in order to leave with Pan, Lyra will have to hide him inside of her, make him invisible, like people’s daemons from Will’s world. That way she’ll trick the zarghuls there into believing that she’s leaving the Blue Hotel alone. The alchemist Agrippa also predicted that Lyra would find her daemon again, but not in the way she’d expect (i.e., that Pan would become an “internal” daemon, perhaps).

-On her way to Seleukeia, Lyra meets a man with two apparent purposes in the story: to give Lyra a set of stories telling cards called a “Myriorama”, and to warn her that Seleukeia isn’t safe. The story he tells the little boy and his mother sharing their cabin involves two soldiers, one wanting to shoot a giant bird that stole their horses, and the other convincing the first not to shoot, since killing the bird would also kill the horses. Wild guess: this is another warning intended for Lyra. She’s the bird. The first soldier is Olivier Bonneville. The second one is Abdel Ionides. The man with the Myriorama is akin to those fairies in disguise (undercover fairies, you know which ones) in children’s stories. These fairies test people, often travelers, asking them for some food and rewarding them if they accept to share, or punishing them if they don’t. Lyra, who shares her food with the little boy and his mother, is rewarded with an honest warning and a useful magical item.

-After being shot in the leg, Malcolm takes a train to Aleppo. The train makes an unexpected stop somewhere in order to board someone important, or several important people. This is a direct parallel to the events of chapter 18 (“Malcolm in Geneva”), where another train is highjacked by the newly appointed President of the High Council of the Magisterium and his suite. That president is assassinated soon after and replaced by Marcel Delamare. Not so wild guess: Malcolm just passed out on a train that’s getting filled with members of the High Council of the Magisterium. Delamare is among them and he knows about a burly, ginger “Matthew” Polstead working against the Magisterium, so Malcolm could find himself in a pickle when he wakes up.

-Abdel Ionides knowns an awful lot. Either he is an alethiometrist himself, or he has his own Myriorama pack, or he’s extremely observant and knows about the Lyra/Rukhsana thing – because he’s aware that she’s headed for the rose garden in Karamakan, even if Lyra never told him. He wants gold (or some sort of other treasure), like Chen, the camel herder who guided Dr. Hassall and Dr. Strauss into Karamakan, did, and he believes that only Lyra can get it for him. Wild guess: he thinks that Lyra, and no one but her, can get in and out of the red building. Maybe because she’s “Rukhsana” and special rules applies to Rukhsana, who knows.

-The poem Lyra quotes in “Little stick” is titled Le cor, by Alfred de Vigny. It alludes to the hero Roland, from La chanson de Roland (“The song of Roland”). Roland and another soldier are surrounded by enemies and the soldier urges Roland to surrender, to which Roland reply “only when the mountains roll down into the river below” (I’m roughly translating). Somehow that’s exactly what happens, and Roland and his friend are precipitated down the gulch and into the river, where they’re both crushed by falling stones. A knight named Turpin finds them some time later and declares that Roland’s soul blew the horn twice before going to Heaven. Funny detail: the soldier standing with Roland is a man from the desert and his name is “Olivier”.

(Going further into the chapter, it’s easy to see where and how Lyra is meant to parallel Roland.)

-In our world, Aleppo would be in Syria and Smyrna would be “Izmir”. I was curious so I googled it. Lyra’s journey would look a bit like this:

1 (Oxford) 2 (Amsterdam) 3 (Paris) 4 (Prague) 5 (Istanbul/Constantinople) 6 (Izmir/Smyrna) 7 (Seleucia/Seleukeia). And Aleppo is circled in red. Lyra traveled by ferry twice: once going from England to Amsterdam (the ferry with the loud, annoying guy and the welsh miners) and once from point 5 (Constantinople) to point 6 (Smyrna). That’s the one where the boat crash occurred. The Blue Hotel would be located somewhere between Iraq and Syria.

If the Blue Hotel wasn’t a place, but a person, it would be a person without a daemon. Maybe that’s why daemons are attracted to it.

EDIT:

The place called “Seleucia”/Seleukeia is a bit confusing. Wherever it is, or was, it refers to the ruins of a very old city. Actually, It looks like there’s two places called “Seleucia”, both ruins, now (in our world, that is): the ruins of Seleucia in Baghdad, also called Seleucia-on-Tigris, and the ruins of Seleucia in Antalya, Turkey. The second one is also called/pronounced “Seleukeia”, and is located on the coast of Pamphylia. I couldn’t find it on the map. 

Most pictures of Seleucia I can find on Google are of the second one. It looks like this:

When I google Seleucia-on-Tigris, I get black and white pictures and photos of old maps from the Seleucid Empire. I’m guessing there isn’t much left of it. If our friend Wiki is to be believed, 

“The city eventually faded into obscurity and was swallowed by the desert sands, probably abandoned after the Tigris shifted its course.”

You know what this reminds me of? The Blue Hotel. 

EDIT:

ACTUALLY, THERE ARE SEVERAL PLACES CALLED (OR WHO USED TO BE CALLED) SELEUKEIA! 😱

*Deep breath*

Ok, let’s check further. Our world’s equivalent of the Karamakan desert is the Taklamakan desert and it’s located in North West China. In TSC’s last chapter, Ionides tells Bonneville that the “treasure”, which I’m guessing is in Karamakan/Taklamakan, is 3000 miles from their current location, i.e., the Blue Hotel. 

The distance between Baghdad (Seleucia-on-Tigris) and Taklamakan, in our world, is approx. 2127 miles.

The distance between Antalya (where the Seleukeia from the picture above is) and Taklamakan, in our world, is approx. 2768 miles.

The distance between Silifke (previously known as Seleucia on the Calycadnus - this is getting complicated isn’t it) and Taklamakan, in our world, is approx. 2612 miles.

The distance between Antakya (previously the Seleucid Capital, also known as Seleucia Pieria, phew) and Taklamakan, is approx. 2498 miles.

The Blue Hotel is about a day’s walk on camel back from Lyra’s Seleukeia, so it’s not very far. If we try to go by the 3000 miles indication, we can probably eliminate Seleucia-on-Tigris in Iraq (sorry, I was wrong!)

Lyra’s Seleukeia is a coastal town. The book tells us that much. (Ok, it definitely couldn’t have been Seleucia-on-Tigris.)

Antalya’s Seleukeia, also known as “Lyrbe” (sounds a bit like Lyra?), is located here:

While Silifke is located here:

And Antakya is here:

So they’re all coastal, kind of. For a very general view, you’ve got:

From left to right (in yellow): Seleukeia/Lyrbe, Seleucia on the Calycadnus/Silifke, Seleucia Pieria/Antakya, and Aleppo. The puzzle is to decide which of the first three is Lyra’s Seleukeia. They’re all under 3000 miles from Taklamakan but I wouldn’t discount any of them because of it (the distance is probably calculated from the starting point to the border of Taklamakan, and the “treasure” is in the “heart” of the desert, so way further). 

I’m guessing that the one Lyra went to was the third - Seleucia Pieria/Antakya. It would explain why it’s a dangerous location (it’s located on the Syrian borders). It would make more sense to use the expression “between Seleukeia and Aleppo” to indicate where the Blue Hotel might be (since that Seleukeia and Aleppo are geographically the closest to one another). 

So let’s say Antakya. What does the place look like in our world?

More ruins, unlike the Seleukeia of Lyra’s world, where people still live and do trade. It’s all very curious. I really do wonder if Pullman got the idea for the Blue Hotel from all these seleucid ruins, or if there’s another place in Syria that would match more.