#making promises

[drarrily-we-row-along]

(I Won't) Run Away

Draco was really nervous. He had a thousand tells for nervous gestures and his anxiety really got to Harry; it made Harry's heart beat a little too fast, made his palms sweat just a little. He couldn't really manage it.

"Hey," Harry said, tapping his forefinger against Draco's, "you still with me?"

Draco turned to look at him, "Yeah. Sorry," he said, "just a little preoccupied."

"With what?" Harry asked, trying to keep his voice level as he took another sip of his drink, watching Draco and trying to read into his very soul.

He opened his mouth and said, "Marry me?" And the words seemed to surprise Draco as much as they surprised Harry, if the shocked raise of his eyebrows and open mouth were anything to go by.

Harry froze, his drink part of the way back to the bar, and stared uncomprehendingly at Draco. "What?"

Draco swallowed before seeming to work himself up again, "I love you," he said softly. "I want to spend my life with you. Will you marry me?"

How had this gotten this far? This relationship was supposed to have been easy, no strings attached. And they'd started going out together for food, and occasionally slept in the same bed, but it wasn't supposed to have come to this. "No," Harry said sharply, too sharply, as he staggered off of the bar stool. "You can't mean that."

And before Draco could get even another word out of his mouth, Harry was fleeing the bar, leaving his drink half drunk, and Draco sitting there staring at him like he'd crucio'd him.

They'd picked a bar close to Draco's house and Harry found himself pacing on the sidewalk outside of the house. He couldn't just leave. Not without some sort of explanation. He owed Draco that much, owed him the words he should have said in the beginning. This was never meant to last. Harry wasn't allowed to have people to keep.

He collapsed on the front steps and put his head in his hands, giving himself permission to feel all of the grief and fear raging through his chest.

He could feel Draco's magic before he could see or hear him, his magical signature always tasted like honey on Harry's tongue and smelled like flowers covered in morning dew in the summer. He ached with it.

Draco stopped a few feet away and Harry looked up at him. "Sorry," Harry croaked. "Godric, Draco, I'm so sorry that I left," he said as honestly as he could.

"I'm just surprised that you're here, to be honest," he replied uncertainly.

Harry nodded miserably, "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Draco sat down next to him on the step, "Do you want to tell me why you're here?"

"Because I love you," he whispered helplessly.

He frowned, "That was a terribly strange response to give to someone you love for asking you to continue loving them."

He shook his head, "Don't you see?" he asked him, because he had to know the truth, he had to see the way that Harry poisoned everything he touched. "Everyone I love ends up dead," he whispered. "You're so much safer if I don't love you, if you don't love me."

"Harry-"

"I'm serious, Draco!" he protested. "Everyone who loves me is forced to die to protect me. And I should have known better," he continued. "Once this was more than just a casual fling, I should have ended it." He shook his head, burying his face in his hands, "In the end everyone either leaves or gets taken from me."

He was quiet for a minute and Harry wondered if Draco was trying to figure out how to tell him to leave. But he surprised him when he started, "My mum and dad weren't an arranged marriage," he said apropos to nothing. "Which is pretty uncommon in pureblood circles."

"Okay?" Harry said, confused by the left hand turn Draco was taking.

He gazed up at the stars as he continued, "they were on the cusp of a war, as well you know," he said, "and in the retelling of their story, my mother always quoted what he said to her the night that he proposed."

Harry gazed at him quizzically, tilting his head as he listened and trying to figure out how this was related.

"He told her, 'I'm not the wisest man that you'll meet. And I'm not a hero; I won't be the one saving the day.'"

"Very romantic," Harry said.

Draco shook his head, "Listen," he chastised gently. "'But,' he told her, 'if you say yes to marrying me, I promise to always stay. No matter what comes, I won't run away.'"

He hummed, uncertain what he was supposed to say about this story, but wanting Draco to continue.

"I was, as you can probably imagine, a strange child. I had a wild imagination and it made for some pretty awful nightmares and thus some very difficult bedtimes," he said.

Harry hummed sympathetically, on the rare occasion that one of them slept over at the other's house, they had witnessed what some of the nightmares looked like.

"My mum used to climb into bed with me," he said, smiling a little at the memory, "and she'd always promise the same thing, that she wasn't going to leave me, that no matter what she had to do, nothing was going to happen to me."

"That's sweet," Harry murmured, allowing the familiar melancholic ache of wishing his parents had been alive while he was small to fill his chest.

He nodded and continued, "When I got older, when Voldemort came back, my parents were terrified. But it was still the thing that they promised me; they might not always be the smartest person in the room, they might not be the bravest, and they probably weren't going to play the hero. But no matter what, we always stay together; none of us run away. We protect ourselves and we protect each other. That's what a family does."

Harry nodded slowly, "I'm glad that you had that."

"Me too," Draco agreed, "for all that not running was difficult, I was glad to have their love and support." He took Harry's hand in his and moved so that he was kneeling in front of the other man, looking up at him.

"Draco," Harry whispered, eyes filling with tears, "Don't."

He squeezed his hands, "This is either the bravest or stupidest thing I've ever done," he said, laughing nervously, his hands trembling where they held Harry's. "Maybe both."

"Draco," he said, voice catching on his tears.

"I may not be the wisest man you'll ever meet," he started. "And I probably won't be a hero that swoops in at the last moment and saves the day. But Harry," he said softly, bringing the other man's hand to his mouth and pressing kisses to his knuckles, "I promise to always stay. I promise that no matter what happens, I won't run away."

"I-"

"I know," he continued, "that you think you're better off alone. I know that you are afraid, and rightly so, of the pain and suffering that love has caused you. But I don't want to live my life without you by my side, and," he took a deep breath and braced himself, "I don't think that you want to live without me either."

"Of course I don't," Harry whispered. "I love you."

"Marry me?" he asked again. "It's okay to be afraid," he added, "But I can only prove that I'm not going anywhere if you let me."

And really, he couldn't even imagine his life without the other man at this point. When he thought of his future, the one constant was Draco Malfoy. He wanted a future with him so badly that he felt like it took up all of the space in his chest when he allowed himself to think about it. "Are you sure you want me?" he asked softly.

Draco laughed and Harry watched as two tears slipped down his cheeks, "Harry," he said, "don't be ridiculous. Of course I want you."

"You're in for a lifetime of reassuring me," he said. "I'm a lot-"

"I want you," Draco said. "You're not hard to love."

His eyes filled again with tears that spilled over as he choked on a sob, his heart cracking open.

Draco leaned up and pulled Harry into his arms, "Oh, darling," he whispered, kissing his temple as he held him and rocked him like he was small. "You're not hard to love," he repeated, "Loving you doesn't cost me a lot; it costs me nothing compared to what loving you gives me," he added. “I fall more in love with you every day, every piece of yourself that you give me. I love all of you.”

"Draco," Harry cried, his fingers curling in the other man's jumper. "I love you," he managed. "Yes," he whispered. "Yes, if you'll still have me."

With a little laugh that sounded like part of a sob, Draco nodded, "yes," he murmured. "Yes, of course I'll have you."

"You're going to have to tell me that a lot," he said, pulling back so that he could search Draco's eyes, "that you aren't going anywhere, that nothing will take you from me."

Nodding, Draco said, "Malfoys are remarkably like cockroaches, we're very good at surviving things that we aren't supposed to. I'm not going anywhere, love," he promised.

"Okay," he whispered, not really sure he believed him but willing to let him prove it.

"Come inside," Draco offered softly. "Let me be with you, let me hold you," he murmured, kissing Harry's cheek. "Let me love you."

He nodded and let Draco lead him inside, let him whisper his promises into his skin. Harry allowed him to see all of him, his fears and his vulnerability. And he let Draco stay.

He continued to let Draco stay, let Draco have all of him, until the day that they both died.

------------------

Read more of my fics inspired by songs, if you'd like.

[littlepawz]

and that's why I never share my New Year's resolutions with anyone :)

[whiterabbitloveposting]

For those wondering - Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #338 (Hobgoblin sprays Spider-man with poison) and #339 (Doc Ock reveals the poison only becomes lethal when combined with cocaine).

[chloesimaginationthings]

RIP Michael Afton.. you would of loved FLAF

[kelddaa]

I was plagued by a vision

[sweetaru1]

the snails but I turned them into giant mounts!!!! for funsies mail mounts!!!!! I usually hate spending more than 3 hours on a piece, but I had a lot of fun doing these

[redpapercraness]

all four of my sonic 3 movie trailer redraws in one spot 🫡

[pebblume]

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[queermasculine]

dysphoric baby butch struggling to feel as butch as you are, but you aren't sure why.. ditch the panties sonny.. get those boxers you've been thinking about

[puppyeared]

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[winter1girls]

[rubyfunkey]

The Rehabilitation of Death by @bamsara

didnt have time to clean this like i wanted but i needed to get this scene out of my head desperately. im good now

[hinamie]

sry i have chronic only draws megumi disorder the doctor said it's terminal :/

[chloesimaginationthings]

Can’t spell “Five nights at Freddy’s” without GAY

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[maddisandy]