#marriage is an institution

[alien-ally]

Dude. The actual extent to which my parents unsuccessful marriage has contorted my moms views about marriage. According to her, it might as well be the worst thing that can happen in your life, after which you'll be totally stifled and sentenced to a hoard of responsibilities. That the best part of life is the first quarter but people should probably get married anyway when they get older (30ies) so you don't end up alone in a far later stage of life. With that said, life will also get reduced to an adjustment once you're married so never hurry it or ever think about it until you're 30.

Making this post after the talk my mom gave my brother who's actually nearing this age (27) and happened to make a confession (that he has someone he likes, like as in like to marry them someday) which he just happened to make during an offhand convo about upcoming marriages of my dads friends kids. Sat through the whole thing with a constipated smile on my face while my brother kept throwing me glances with a matching (or more indulgent should i say) smile on his face and timely humms. That's just what's left. Incredulous smiles. The rest of the things we feel, they'll be felt in peace, in secret. There's never anything we can say to make a difference. Ig one advantage of living in a make-do marriage is you learn all the things you must never do. At least we'll grow healthy i guess.

ourgh it's going to be so good when i come out. when she finds out that I'm going to be just what she wants in the most ironic way. that i am in fact NEVER going to get married. even if she doesn't understand what the terms mean. but yk sometimes i wonder if my mom is aspec. legit. she just doesn't know perhaps. but AHEM anyways what was I saying again-

[arataka-reigen]

"Percy takes Annabeth's last name" "Annabeth takes Percy's last name" Actually, Percy and Annabeth never get married as a way to piss off Hera

[eddis-not-eeddis]

My tolerance for rom-coms has hit an all time low. Every time these idiots are like, "Let's move in together, it's the most romantic thing a couple can do to show they love each other!" I just feel that smoker meme in my soul.

Marriage, folks, the thing you're actually thinking of is marriage.

There's nothing more romantic than swearing to spend your life together. But admit it, you're too cowardly to commit to any ACTUAL romance in your life. :/

[ezzakennebba]

anyway bella was 18 and pregnant for only 28 days before she was giving birth.

twilight is a horror saga.

[arowitharrows]

"this law would destroy the institution of marriage" then perish.

[transmascutena]

[image description: the "he would not fucking say that" meme edited to say "they would not fucking get married" /end id]

[throwawayasoiafaccount]

i still cannot believe that people consider having lovers outside of a political marriage as cheating

a lot can be discussed about how raging misogyny and the patriarchy in westeros has led to unequal standards for women to uphold and suffer from

as highborn women are not allowed the same sexual freedom that highborn men get to experience, and even if these women do have relationships outside of their marriages, they are usually scorned and shunned by society for daring to practice sexual autonomy

it’s unfair, i am very aware of this fact

(that’s why i’ll never understand team green stans)

but george has never ever condemned his characters for finding and experiencing love outside of doing their duty.

never.

we’re not unfeeling machines that lack emotions. we’re humans who are, more often than not, led by our hearts. and grrm does a phenomenal job when creating characters, as they truly feel human.

so yeah, it’s a bit disappointing that people dumb down what is clearly a very complex situation to “cheating” (btw george himself calls rhaegar and elias relationship complex and he’s never implied that they loved each other in a romantic sense).

to reiterate, i am well aware that highborn women and men are held to different standards, however, if you have a problem with characters working through, around, and sometimes failing to overcome the social structures that cause their suffering, then you must have a major issue with george’s exploration of the human heart in conflict with itself.

george’s characters aren’t robots and that’s what makes them interesting. they do things for very human reasons. they’re biased. they’re traumatized. they’re conflicted. but they’re still reaching for a better tomorrow and they’re still trying to find happiness.

so i’ll never consider rhaegar and lyannas relationship as cheating, or something unsightly that should be scorned. for they simply dared to find and grasp love in a society that would rather shackle them to unhappy marriages, which is very commendable.

oh… and do you know what george does criticize?

political marriages lol

he makes it clear that selling women off as broodmares and forcing men into marriages they don’t want is a recipe for disaster.

of course the eventual fallouts of these relationships is super interesting to read about, but you should never ever support the systems in place and the societies that benefit from pushing people/characters into these incredibly unhealthy relationships

so while i find it interesting to read about characters navigating these relationships, i’ll always be the first person to condemn these societies for forcing this fate onto them. i’ll also always be the first person to root for characters who do their best to find happiness outside of their political/arranged marriage

sorry that i don’t condemn a character for finding love outside of a loveless marriage

instead of getting angry at rhaegar and lyanna and being very nonsensical in the main tags about it, how about you turn that anger onto the patriarchy, which is rooted in every single institution and family in westeros, the patriarchy that refuses to allow women to have the same amount of sexual autonomy as men?

(this is why i despise team green :))

[wannaliveattheholidayinn]

this may be an unpopular opinion, but i personally think that jeff and britta should've gotten married back in season 3 and just dealt with the consequences of that action for the rest of the show

[hiemaldesirae]

The Hazbin Graduate’s Guide to Homicide (3)

HAZBIN'S MIDSEMESTER STUDENT REPORT Student: Vox Vanhal Supervising Staff: Professor Enoch Leviathan Sponsor: Not Applicable To the Board: Vox Vanhal may be one of the most brilliant students this school has seen in decades. In all my years of teaching at Hazbin, I have never met a student more insanely ready to learn and apply their skills- due in part, of course, to said student's own possible insanity. I mean this in a jovial way, of course, but I will admit that when young Vanhal's true identity was revealed to me that my first thought was along the lines of 'is this student insane?' Whether or not my student's reason should be called into question is something myself and my fellow professor Asmodeus have discussed in length, but there is one thing that we can definitively agree on: If there is any one student in this school who I would choose to place my bets on, it would be Vox Vanhal. There is nothing more to say at this time of report evaluation. Sincerely, Professor Leviathan.

May God's blessings be with you now and at the hour of our deaths, Amen.

[ 1 ] / [ 2 ] (<- read these first for context and more murder academy radiostatic content!)

Though Alastor may have thought that Vox was much more knowledgable in how Hazbin's Institution for Homicide worked, the truth was, Vox was still fully flying on the seat of his own coattails.

He had no damn clue what he was doing still, and although it'd been two weeks since he'd arrived, part of him still felt like how he did when he'd first arrived: hesitant, scared, not knowing where to go or what to do besides the want to make his boss suffer as he killed him.

That level of animosity might sound strange to anyone not a Hazbin student or alumnus, but it was perfectly normal for any student enrolled in the academy to have such feelings. After all, there was quite a rigorous process involved in the application, and for Vox, this application process (and what led to it) was perhaps more intense than most.

There had once been a time where Vox had dreamed of becoming a Hollywood starlet, one who lit up the silver screen and was blessed by hundreds of thousands of cheering, dedicated fans who would fawn over his every move and action. He'd wanted to follow in his mother's footsteps, at one point. But after taking on his first roles in Carmine Studios, the glamour of Hollywood had shattered like fine glass.

"Miss Vesper! Would you please look over here for a second?"

"Miss Vesper, when is your next movie coming out?!"

"Miss Vesper, is it true that you and your co-star on Anna Karenina, Valentino Vega had an affair-?"

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! That- fucking bastard!" Vox rushed into the privacy of his and Val's shared apartment, slamming the door behind him as he collapsed into the couch, head cradled in his hands. He couldn't even begin to start detailing the number of ways he'd wanted to fucking butcher and rip apart his boss.

Andrealphus Goetia was no stranger to the spotlight, naturally. One of Hollywood's top directors, the man had been an influential cornerstone in the history of movie-making, a real legend to light the days. But behind that picturesque platinum reputation laid a monstrous piece of shit.

It had been a complete accident that Andrealphus had found out about Vox's identity.

Vox himself hadn't even really planned out what to do about himself at that point, only that he'd known that the dresses he wore on screen were far more suited to his best friend than they were for him. Knew that the copious amounts of makeup flattened on him everyday made him feel more like a clown than a princess, that it was the most uncomfortable feeling to have to sit and play the pretty face for the audience's sake.

But he persisted, telling himself, one more year, one more year til my savings account has enough to supply Val and I with a comfortable life and we can leave.

But of course- of course Andrealphus had to ruin it for him.

The man had found out and immediately proceeded to blackmailing Vox with the information, holding things such as promotions, media gossip and rumors over his head. And now... now... Vox stared down at the script he held clutched in his hand, his knuckles turning white as he grasped it with an iron grip.

"Dieser verdammte bastard," Vox muttered under his breath.

Though he'd never loved the spotlight that came with his first taste of fame, he had loved acting. Had loved being adored for his skill, applauded for the emotions that he could evoke in crowds of people and the way he could twist people's hearts. He had wanted to be one of the best, a household name.

And now, he stared down at the script for a movie that Andrealphus knew would tank his reputation. It was absolute bullshit. The plot was held together by thin strings and a bit of glue, despite being an adaptation of one of the past decade's best selling books. Not only that, but the moment he left the safety of the apartment once more, he would also have to contend with the rumors that were steadily piling against him and dragging his loved ones and friends into it too.

All this, because Vox had refused to sleep with his shitty boss.

He could still hear the fucker's voice- come on, don't you wanna say that you got a piece of me? I'll even leave out the part about you being a transvestite, darling, just the fact that I got a piece of you is enough.

God. If only.... if only he could see that bastard's face when he crushed his fucking skull in between his hands. He wanted to see Andrealphus' stupid face contort in revulsion and terror when Vox finally did the deed, wanted to bathe in the the fotze's inbred blood. He'd do anything for the chance to just kill that piece of shit-

"Amorcito?"

Val's voice makes Vox jump on the spot, quickly shifting to hide the script from view. His friend comes around the corner, eyebrows furrowed with concern, and it's this that makes Vox break his composure, a single tear falling down his face as Val frowns, taking a seat next to him on the couch. "Voxxy, amor... tell me what's wrong."

And because he can never keep his mouth shut when it comes to his best friend, Vox tells him everything. Val nods along, pauses at the right moments, all of that stuff that friends do when they're trying to let you know that they'd rip apart your shitty boss if not for the law.

But- and perhaps this is something that Vox knew deep down to be true anyway- Val was a bit different in that aspect. He'd met the man under... less than legal circumstances, after all, and he knew that Val was the heir to quite the illustrous cartel career.

So when Valentino stops him with a firm hand on the shoulder and hands him an application paper for Hazbin, telling him to think it through, Vox barely takes even a second glance at it before filling it out.

Now, two months later and sitting in the auditorium of Hazbin's famed Music Hall, Vox doesn't find himself regretting the decision. Sure, it's a bit lonely without Val's supporting presence by his side, but the students he's met so far have proved to be some of the friendliest people he's had the pleasure of knowing: ironic, considering the kind of school they're studying at. And he's even managed to make a friend! Not that bad a start, altogether.

Vox absentmindedly doodles on the edge of his notes as Professor Leviathan's soothing voice lectures them on the importance of a proper alibi. "If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, but it has an airtight alibi, it is...?"

"Not a duck," the auditorium echoes back to the professor, who nods, looking satisfied with the class's response. "So, then! The first step to alibi making is...? Miss Velvette, perhaps you'd like to answer this one for us?"

The girl sitting beside Vox shoots up in her seat, looking as if she'd just fallen asleep and was awoken by the professor's question. "Uh... the..."

After a moment of silence and stuttering, Vox takes pity on the girl, sliding Velvette over a slide of paper that she squints at before reading. "Make sure you're in a different place from the crime?"

"And how would I do that?"

"I... uh. Use an accomplice...?" Velvette stutters.

Professor Leviathan shakes his head, looking disappointed. "Not quite. One thing you will have to learn at Hazbin's is that you should never rely on any other person to carry your deed out for you. No hiring accomplices- after all, paid personnel's loyalty is shaky and they have no honor code preventing them from taking you to the police- and absolutely no committing crimes as lovers, unless you can guarantee that neither of you will be snitching. Would anyone else like to take a try?"

Vox raises his hand hesitantly. "Move the crime scene or otherwise obscure the culprit?"

Professor Leviathan snaps his fingers, "Yes! Absolutely. One of the best ways to make yourself an iron clad alibi is, if the pope is shot in the church at midnight, make sure that you are seen halfway across town in the bar at midnight; so drunk that you cannot even leave until your wife comes to pick you up at two- and no one will suspect you, even if he was actually killed right outside the pub and moved to the church instead. By moving the crime scene, you can make yourself an ironclad alibi. Obscuring the identity of the perpetrator and making it someone who couldn't possibly be you also works splendidly. After all, if the police believe the murderer to be a six foot tall adult man, then the actual perpetrator, a four foot tall young woman, would be able to pass by completely unnoticed. Thank you for that input, Vox. Now, onto the actual creation of such an alibi..."

When class ends, Vox is the first to leave his seat and head for the door, intending on leaving and getting to Track with Professor Satan as quick as possible when someone stops him in his tracks with a firm grip on his shoulder.

"Hey. Vox Vanhal, right?"

"That would be me, yes," Vox turns to face the person he's talking to, only to be met with the young woman that Professor Leviathan had called out in class earlier. "You were... Velvette?"

"Yep, that's me," the chipper young woman responds. "Listen, I know you don't know me at all, but I really need to get through this school year. Like- look, okay, I'm in a little bit over my head right now. I still want to go here and do what everyone here does, of course, I'd love to just go and plunge a damn butcher's knife into my cunt of an ex-friend's neck, but... well, you saw how I did back in class- look, what I'm trying to get at is I need someone to help me. And you're like, Leviathan's star student. So- I don't care what I have to do, I'll-"

Vox holds up a hand to stop her.

"I don't need you to do anything for me, unless you've got any tips on how to kill my boss and make him suffer during it. But I'll help you with whatever you need to study during your courses. Just..." He pauses, taking a moment to think out what he's about to ask. "Could you teach me how you did your makeup on your own?"

Velvette blinks, clearly not expecting that response. She laughs, a shrill, sharp bark and grabs his hand to shake it firmly. "Yeah, 'course I can. So, do we have a deal?"

"We do," Vox smiles. "Pleased to make your acquaintance."

[chicago-geniza]

Read too much Pride & Prejudice and Downton Abbey fanfiction and now get freaked out by how kinky the concept of marriage is. You vow to worship your spouse with your body. You're signing a contract about property rights and also sex. It's the most hard-core mutual objectification agreement two people can enter into under the law? It would be so fucked up if marriage were real

[blue-rose-soul]

i love how the public finds out part of the au inplies that lilith is gonna have to read through lucifers afair the same way eliza found out about hamiltons little sting with mariah reynolds

having said that, under the theory that lilith is the one that owns alastor, wonder how lilith would react to finding out her little pawn on a leash is not only her husbands spawn but the child of his mistres, a manifestation of lucifers own misdeeds

(if she had ever met alastors mom in heaven i wonder how that would go to) (this is probably not in character but the thought of like, lilith basically doing what alistor did in hells greatest dad to nacaisa if theyd ever crossed paths lmao) (meanwhile alastor just has to stand there and smile through it all)

Aahahaha, haha, yes, it's just like... that. I definitely know who and what you're talking about...

I'm not sweating, shut up.

Non-serious answer: Lilith did that on purpose. It was her way of adopting her husband's son. Steal my husband, I steal your son.

Serious answer: I actually decided that in the Devil's Bastard AU, the person who trapped Alastor in a contract did so specifically because he's Lucifer's son. I'm kind-of sort-of cobbling together a story idea in my head about Eve being the one to hold Alastor's soul, BUT since you asked about a scenario in which it's Lilith...

Lilith didn't choose Alastor to punish him for being Lucifer's son, or to punish Lucifer for his infidelity. Unlike that bitch Hera, she has some class. No, she has her own plans, and Alastor's power is useful to her. She probably figured it out either right before gaining Alastor's soul or right after. She decides to keep him in the dark, at least until after she has a word with Lucifer about it. Unfortunately, although Lilith isn't consciously punishing Alastor for his parentage, the knowledge does color their interactions on some levels. Understandably, when Alastor finally learns the truth, he assumes he is being punished for Lucifer's indiscretion and that only adds more fuel to his resentment towards the King of Hell.

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

Hades is in fact the best interpretation of the Demeter and Persephone myth, because while it changes the details it gets the essence of the story as the Greeks would have understood it. The essence being "Actually, both Demeter and Hades are acting reasonably and this is all Zeus' fault.".

[ineffablejaymee]

that one time i was my best friend's plus one at his prom and we accidentally matched outfits as lonelyeyes

[yurimartyr]

history is so fun because you can like to back 105 years and learn "women are now people" and then instead go back 65 years and learn "black people are now people" and then instead go back 45 years and learn "gay people are now people" and then instead go back 21 years and learn "discrimination is now illegal" and you go. damn. my country kinda sucked back then. then you instead go back only 15 years and learn "homosexuality is now legal" and then instead go back 6 years and learn "sexual assault is now illegal" and then instead go back 4 years and learn "children are now people" and you go. hm. i have been alive longer than these laws have been in place. and then you wonder what other fucked up things are legal without you knowing it until you in a few years hear it's now illegal and go "what the fuck, that was legal? during my lifetime? why the fuck was that legal for so long." and this cycle will repeat probably forever. country seems awesome but if you go back any amount of time you'll find out it was fucking awful; this'll be true even when you in the future go back to what's currently the present.

[confessedlyfannish]

I'm listening to Superpower by Beyoncé and Frank Ocean and this has MCU! MJ & Peter's wedding song written all over it.

[rist-ix]

I think it’s a hugeeee spoiler or not, but would Valtor tbhtbh marry bloom? Like, propose her, and do the whole thing, even just like they both together, and Darcy doing the ceremony. Or he don’t think that’s it’s necessary? Hope you doing good!

Gonna be honest, memes aside I don’t think marriage is necessarily the cornerstone in their relationship than it is in other fictional — or even real life — pairings.

Big part of that might be that Valtor, for one, lives outside of any official systems. There are villains that do crime but still kind of have a clear position in society (the Darkling is a General and coups his way to tsar-dom, most vampires in any vampire story do pretend to lead a somewhat normal life, villains with a royal title automatically has a rank that comes with a fitting one for their romantic partner etc.)

Valtor does not. His crimes are motivated by pettiness and his hunger for power, he builds up political figures to do his dirty work when it’s practical, but does not have any political ambitions for himself — he doesn’t wanna be king of the cosmos, he just wants to be the most powerful, and that everyone knows it. He's kind of a cryptid that way, because he appears, wrecks shit, and leaves as he pleases. The most official thing in his life was probably his imprisonment on omega, and marriage tends to very much be an official kind of thing in nature, even if it’s held in private and off the record. Official-ity IS kind of the purpose.

The only real power Valtor seems to believe in is, well, power. And they already do have a magical connection, which I think would be more important and meaningful to him than - what he considers to be - a social ritual.

Add to that that Bloom is a guardian fairy, very grounded in day-to-day life, and a princess, where marriage tends to have political implications, and I don’t think she herself would be very interested in putting a legally defined term on their relationship, unless we're talking about a redeemed Valtor maybe.

That being said!

I am not very set in this headcanon! I'm pretty sure pulling a marriage off in a fic would be MORE than doable, and really interesting on top. It's just not very intuitive for me, so I’m gonna stick to the plan and go with my gut. Doesn’t mean it’s not gonna happen in a future fic, or that it’s not a really cool concept.